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inkskinned · 3 months

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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

#spilled ink #writeblr #personal #please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it #i really try not to write so specifically about it #bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child #i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years #i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum #and if u say ur autistic #inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms #please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do #and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find #the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic #someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.

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crossbackpoke-check · 11 months

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Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman

part one | part two

#me when everybody is posting the maple leafs sad narratives and i am furiously generating this like HOLD ONNNN HOLD ONNNNNNN #honestly i could've been SOOOO MEAN about this because i saw this poem & alexandra got the preview on the poetry blog #where i just reblogged the first half of this poem point blank with the tags #kyle dubas #toronto maple leafs #& got yelled at aksdaksf & it literally only didn't go on this blog bc i usually write more & then it was percolating & i looked up the poe #& it was only the FIRST PART i'd reblogged i didn't know there was more & then brain immediately went brrrrr ok time for an edit.#this is a long one lol & i also have no idea if it makes sense to anybody but me but because y'all know me i will always overexplain so!!#my reasoning for the reasons obvi kyle. that's a given i hope he's doing well i hope he & his family r good but man is not coming in to wor #the second edit took me a stupid amount of time bc i am nitpicky but also i learned how to do the layers & transparency from the claude edi #that actually y'all don't know about lmao but i lost my mind when i saw how perfectly those pictures align i was scrolling getty & was like #ok december i'm gonna do a headline one (in my brain with the november/june quote about choosing to die again) w/ maple leafs playoff odds #how they say at winter break you know who's gonna be in the playoffs & who'll win & they thought they had a shot but it's mitchie overlaid #the 2003-04 team who'd last won a playoff round with the atlantic division stats from dec for 22-23 & how long it's been & dec headlines #i wanted breakup/recent/never loved to be a recent trade acquisition somebody who bounced around & somebody else so i almost had simmer #brodie & zar but then i wanted to make murray for breakup at any time &i forgot zar & him were on the pens together &it hit me like a truc #bc there's a photo of the two of them EXACTLY the same so close it's scary of this one but them as pens so they had to be it & i did always #know never loved again was mitchie. sorry. also mitchie in the penalty box the last game but i couldn't find footage of it & this one works #no i could not find a photo of tyler bertuzzi fighting a leaf for a dog looked at me yes i tried.#i almost made the bunting photo jt but instead it's 'bunting a rat etc' anyway the one i really feel unhinged about is dead pets bc at firs #i was gonna make it the handshake line & look to see if the leafs had drafted anybody on the panthers (dead pet former draft pick)#& they had & it was carter verhaeghe & i couldn't get a good pic of matthews & verhaeghe but it's fine bc i thought about the mo/luke schen #narrative (in which they are a perfect d pair long lost) & schenn was drafted by the leafs & that line fits jut trust me. also how i feel #about the kniesy luminous line that one possessed me it had to be kniesy idk why. i almost put gussy as girls are too pretty though ALSO #did u like my joke. daylight SAVINGS time on the goalie. thank u. also my photo magic on the jt (me very poorly editing in him as an isle)#OK ALSO HOLD ONNNNN there is a part two but i have to wait for the Content i want it will come out as soon as [redacted] or sooner #if i get bad at waiting &everyone will pretend like it is always the way it will be once i have the photos i want. speaking of did the leaf #simply not take a team photo this year?? it Does Not Exist for me i have tried very hard to look for it also i'm excited for part 2 #one of them is named oh you're so unhinged for this one & the finished product is you're unhinged in ways you didn't even know u were sorry #liv in the replies

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keeps-ache · 4 months

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if i could be any little creature on the earth i'd be one of those little robot-dog toys that kind of suck

#just me hi #i know they suck my sibling had one once and it was okay hfvsh #it could do backflips but it also banged its head into the floor every time it did so it was kind of painful to watch lolll #but besides the suckiness i just think they're neat :>#they can roll around and that is very cool to me #sometimes they play music but the speakers are horrible but they're trying so hard bhfs </33 #/anyway. i actually had a point to this but i forgot what it was #if i was a sucky robot-dog toy that costed 60 bucks with terrible wheels and worse speakers i think i'd go and travel the world #why travel the world? i don't know ! just makes sense to do something like that #i think the little things would like to travel the world :> they can't move very well and aren't taken to many rooms and their batteries di #quickly but i think despite (or maybe because) of that they'd roll around busy streets and explore spots that would be hidden by the usual #tourist #it's just a neat thought :)#//okay.. on my way now lol #i keep staying up to ungodly hours by accident and i feel so flat hfhvsh #stayed up til 5 on saturday bc i got caught up telling my siblings a story. stayed up til 4 last night doing the same exact thing fhhsv #i don't learn lol !!#but ye gonna see if i can get my sludge brain to work. as my brother says; toodledoo #//edit: also their hearts are in their batteries and every time you change them they love you more. okay Now bye fhvsbvhfvs

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year

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the post where i compare sawashiro and mine

venn diagram for the sparknotes version of this post but i'll also clarify potentially confusing points + exploring the designs of their office spaces and how it relates to their characters under the cut so i can explain my insanity

definitely enabled by my recent back and forth with @/04tenno. i've taken the relevant notes from our asks, but you can read them in full here p1 p2 p3

Yoshitaka Mine

33 years old

6'1 height

Had healthy relationship with father Mine's father was encouraging and concerned for his safety and future

Lost father to illness The loss of his father left Mine alone in the world, fueling his desire to find comradery again

Exemplary in barefisted combat Mine is well-trained in various martial arts, additionally shown to practice boxing in his spare time

Motivated by desire for interpersonal relationships Mine's greatest ambition in life was to achieve a true bond and to overcome his feelings of being betrayed by the society around him

Past work as venture capitalist Prior to his life as a yakuza, Mine worked as a white-collar citizen

Apparent close relationship with superior Mine is shown to have a friendly and mutual relationship with Daigo Dojima

Disdain for children Mine believes children- especially orphans- are privileged leeches on the generous fortune of adults

Challenges authority Mine doesn't shy from scolding Daigo Dojima when he acts recklessly and puts the needs of Kazuma Kiryu before the Tojo Clan's. He neither shies away from sharing ideas with peers, no matter how ludicrous they may appear

Center

Fights protagonist over superior Mine and Kazuma Kiryu fight atop Touto Hospital due to their philosophical disagreements and whether killing a comatose Daigo Dojima would be right for him. In RGGO, Ichiban Kasuga and Sawashiro fight atop the Millennium Tower due to Ichiban believing Sawashiro betrayed Masumi Arakawa.

Ironclad devotion Mine demonstrates his unwavering belief in Daigo Dojima with unapologetic ire against parties he believe to be acting in opposition to Daigo. He additionally makes extreme, selfless financial endeavors in order to support Daigo. Sawashiro, though unable to make his loyalty overly loud, demonstrates his near-four-decade-long commitment to the son he previously abandoned, Masato Arakawa. As a result, he'd become similarly committed to the man who came to raise him in his stead, Masumi Arakawa.

Devotion is plot twist Though the audience was lead to believe Mine was working maliciously against Daigo Dojima, it's revealed Mine, from his perspective, was acting in Daigo's best interests. In RGGO, Ichiban confronts Sawashiro about his chaotic activity and asserts it goes against Masumi Arakawa's ideals, whereas Sawashiro retorts and claims everything he's done was only to benefit Arakawa. In Y7, not only is it revealed Sawashiro refused to kill Arakawa despite it being an order from Masato Arakawa- a party he had yet to ever disobey- but the full extent of Sawashiro's history with Masato and ergo the true nature of his devotion is brought to light.

Absent father figure at young age Mine loses his father presumably before his teenage years to an unspecified illness. Sawashiro runs away from his abusive household at the age of 15, where he only had an alcoholic father to look after him.

Treasurer Despite the questionable status of their education, Mine and Sawashiro prove themselves intelligent enough to be able to manage the finances of their respective clans.

Outbursts of extreme violence Mine seldom acts with violence without reason. However, upon the mockery of Daigo Dojima's death, Mine forgoes his collected demeanor and stabs the hand of the man praising his death. Though Sawashiro is shown to be more prone to violence, he similarly has an especially bloody scene subsequent to the death of Masumi Arakawa. He almost cuts the finger of Ichiban Kasuga off after believing Ichiban acted irresponsibly, especially with regards to the care of Masato Arakawa.

Irezumi honors superior Mine's irezumi depicts a kirin, a mythical creatures renowned for their intense and volatile devotion to benevolent leaders they deem worthy. Undoubtedly, Mine perceives himself as the righteous kirin, Daigo his holy ruler. In RGGO, Sawashiro's irezumi depicts a dragonfish, a design Ichiban Kasuga asserts he mimicked as it was gotten in order to honor Masumi Arakawa. The dragon is meant to represent Arakawa, the koi meant to represent the desire to live up to his example.

Joined yakuza for specific person Mine seeks to join the yakuza in order to meet the Tojo Clan's sixth chairman, Daigo Dojima, after seeing low-rate yakuza sacrifice themselves for him. Sawashiro joins the yakuza in order to be closer to his son, Masato Arakawa, after discovering the patriarch of the Arakawa Family, Masumi Arakawa, is his new father.

Interest in art Mine's affinity for art is evident in his office space decorum alongside in-game RGGO dialogue. However, Sawashiro's interest is arguably implied based off of the textures used for the books in his office. The implication that Sawashiro harbors a similar interest in art should be taken lightly.

Jo Sawashiro

57 years old

6'2 height

Had toxic relationship with father Sawashiro would shirk going home in order to avoid being abused by his alcoholic father

Ran from father By age 15, Sawashiro commits to running away from home

Specializes in weapon-based combat Though he possesses skill in boxing, Sawashiro's martial forte revolves around weaponry, his toolkit ranging from katana to broken glass pieces and walking canes

Motivated by guilt for and devotion to son Prior to reconnecting with Masato Arakawa after abandoning him as an infant, Sawashiro describes himself as having lived life 'half-assed'. Upon joining the yakuza, Sawashiro's actions are heavily motivated to do what benefits Masato Arakawa. The only exception to this rule was the order to assassinate Masumi Arakawa.

Past work as construction worker In order to support himself and his girlfriend, Ikumi, Sawashiro worked as a construction worker

Superior co-parents child, but depth of relationship is uncertain After Sawashiro abandons Masato Arakawa as an infant, Masumi Arakawa mistakenly rescues and raises him as his own son. Once joining the Arakawa Family, Sawashiro resumes taking care of Masato from a distance, effectively raising Masato alongside Arakawa. Despite this, the true extent of their amiability with each other is unknown, though Arakawa has demonstrated to be comfortable enough to refer to Sawashiro by his given name.

Father to one child Sawashiro fathers Masato Arakawa alongside Masumi Arakawa. Masato has shown to be comfortable enough with Sawashiro to contact him when in duress and notes he 'followed him like a lost puppy' as he was growing up, suggesting Sawashiro's consistent proximity to him.

Obeys authority Sawashiro is often a quiet follower of those in a greater position compared to himself. The only exception to this behavior was after Masumi Arakawa's death, where he punctures the eye of one of his superiors.

BONUS: Office Space Observation

"Snap why bother analyzing their office spaces if they're different" because Sawashiro's original office in RGGO was the same as Mine's:

With Y7, he evidently has a new space of his own, so why not take a chance to look at how they differ now.

Yoshitaka Mine's Office in Minato:

Bright walls and well lit

Personal desk is in proximity to social aspect of the room and is in the back of the room, blocked by social area. In addition, Mine utilizes couches for his social area.

First floor is small and important pieces are close to each other. Bar is closer to personal desk, but not totally out of reach from social area.

Hakuho Family crest is high on the wall and generally out of sight when first entering the room.

Windows are behind Mine's desk and are covered with mahogany blinds

A surface-level assessment of Mine's office would assert he favors intimacy and for guests to be close with one another and himself. Having the bar beside him suggests his method of showing friendship is through acts of service, as he would most likely be the one to bring guests drinks. The bright condition of the room being only offset with tasteful dark furniture gives off an inviting atmosphere yet not overbearing. Coupled with the domestic set up, with every important part of the room being so close to one another, it reaffirms his goal to be close with others.

Jo Sawashiro's Office in Kamurocho:

Dark walls, selective lighting

Personal desk is not only removed from social area, but it's the main attraction of the office, the leisurely area sectioned off to a separate room. However, Sawashiro has two seats situated behind his desk

Bar is close to social area. Sawashiro uses individual, spaced-out chairs for social area

Room is enormous and incredibly empty

Arakawa Family crest is right above Sawashiro's desk, immediately drawing attention to itself upon entry

Windows are replaced by one wall being made entirely of thick glass

Compared to Mine's office, Sawashiro's office floor is significantly simpler. The most decorated part of the office belongs to his personal area at the heart of the room, the area perfectly symmetrical and uniform (or it would be without it being thrashed) but lacking in intense lighting. Moreover, this area is separated from where guests would gather, and even the social room has guests set in armchairs, separating everyone from themselves. Unlike his personal area, the social from is well lit and has the bar being right next to guests and far away from Sawashiro. It can be assessed that Sawashiro isn't overly concerned with others and prefers to isolate himself, but knows enough to provide a pleasant room to let them occupy themselves and leave him unbothered. Alongside the eye-catching Arakawa Family crest positioned above him, the two seats sat behind Sawashiro could reference Masato and Masumi Arakawa, asserting that his only wish in life is to serve the family.

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 3 #yakuza series #yakuza 7 #yakuza like a dragon #ryu ga gotoku 7 #yoshitaka mine #jo sawashiro #snap chats #yeah im putting this in the main tags i spent way too much time on this #and if i told you this was just an excuse to ramble abot mine and sawashiro would you believe me. Yes #im forcing you all to read me being The Most Normal RGG Fan #ive actually wanted to make this venn diagram for a while but i thought id sound more deranged than usual #but i have an excuse now HAH so. please enjoy #please. i just think theyre neat #join me next time where i psychoanalyze one of these freaks #maybe both who's to say #naw im playing i'd want to dedicate an essay to them each individually #because yes theyre similar but they do have differences i want to talk about without bridging them together #i just love how similar they are but how different their executions are #heh execution. mine executed himself AMIRIGHT #ALSO i am putting the / because i dont wanna be a bother with an outright mention #but you can find their blog by checking the asks i linked #tbh this is more of a ramble and a post for me so forgive me for my terrible wording and explanations #the main focus is the diagram #but yeah please enjoy ty mwah mwah bye

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thegreatyin · 6 months

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a collection of other nominee categories that i think are about to be a bloodbath this year

and, of course

the real battle of the fates

#im contractually obligated to vote for the catboy rigel dressup mmo or else square enix shoots me in the balls #that's how it works #yin-thoughts #some other thoughts because i wanted to say them even though nobody cares about yin's goty takes:#art direction is a pretty tough fight though i expect mario wonder to win due to recency and just it being good period #but hi-fi rush is a very respectable win as well and i'll gladly take it. i havent heard much on lies of p but it looks cool #best narrative is about as much of a bloodbath as the rest of these. i expect bg3 to win (and thats what i'd say personally)#but im also half expecting a surprise turnaround from like. idk. final fantasy guys or something. you never know!#best rpg is a BRAWL. all of those are absolute bangers. i really really want sea of stars to win bc it got snubbed from the indie category #and obviously bg3 is taking home a few awards regardless of what happens so it doesn't really matter if they lose this one #but that's not what i expect to happen :( at least it's there anyway #best score and music goes to hi-fi. it's a rhythm game. yes bg3 AGAIN but yknow what as a bg3 stan let them have this one #oh and ffxiv got nominated for the community award again as usual so. go team etc etc #also WHY is cyperpunk in the ongoing games category? bro thinks he's part of the team #edit: i forgot octopath 2!! i havent finished it yet but tbh it deserved a nomination just as much as anything else. sad to not see it

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imminent-danger-came · 10 months

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Sorry if you‘ve been asked this before, but since we know you‘re fav lmk characters, I was wondering what you‘re favorite duos and trios were?

And/or however many characters you wanna group together. Just in general, the character dynamics you find neat!

(My guess is that MK and Mei are somewhere on the top of the list- if not THE top)

One of my favorite things about lmk (of which there are many lol), is that you could throw two darts, and whatever two characters the darts land on are bound to have an interesting dynamic.

One of my favorite episodes is the Sandy and Huntsman episode (2x08), Tang and Macaque also have an intriguing conflict in 3x08, and Pigsy and Chang'e (3x07) have such a heartfelt shared passion that you can't help but enjoy their on screen time together.

I'm someone who wants a sort of Ne Zha and Yellowtusk "we reluctantly work together" arc, where even though Yellowtusk may have helped nearly bring the world to it's destruction, he ultimately helped save it, and he also happens to know a thing or too about keeping the Jade Emperor's power contained. I think it'd really fit in with lmk's "past mistakes vs making the right choices now" theme—in all honesty Yellowtusk has already paid his time with an eternity spent in the scroll—and now he can truly help make a better world. I think it'd be a neat way to keep him involved in the story, give Ne Zha someone to bounce off of (they both view power as sacred and a huge responsibility, unlike Wukong for example who is much more flippant with power), and would give some juicy drama ("You would betray your brothers?") between Peng and Yellowtusk later down the line.

Though anon you're 100% right, MK and Mei are at the top of my favorite dynamic list lol (They're whole motivation is to protect each other out of 100% platonic love. Obsessed with them). I'm also really partial for the MK, Mei, and Sandy trio that pops up here and there (1x03, 1x04, 3x04, 3x06). Traffic light trio is a treat, and the sunburst duo has my heart forever and always (I love seeing the way MK and Wukong's relationship has developed over the course of the show, both for the better and worse). Pigsy and Tang are always a delight (thank you 1x04, 2x03, 2x04, 3x05, 4x04, and specifically the line "Sometimes it's that little bit of char that makes for a more flavorful meat! Even if it is a bit tangy."), they're definitely at the top of my list. Obviously I like shadowpeach, and shadowpeach + MK (ooooo the monkeys are such delicious/tragic foils oooo), and I think Mei and Wukong have a really interesting dynamic (Wukong seeing Ao Lie in Mei, Mei viewing Wukong as someone who has hurt MK). Wukong and Azure's dynamic is also super interesting (Azure with his unrequited crush and heartbreak), so is LBD and MK's (could talk forever about these two), however I'll cut this off here since I could probably go on for a long while about this specific topic.

#no one's asked me this before and it wouldn't be a bother if they had!#Sorry I kind of went on a tangent about different dynamics in the show and my Yellowtusk and Ne Zha agenda adsfafs #Come on Mr. "Wukong is not the loner he pretends to be'' see the good in Yellowtusk. Let him help keep the world from breaking.#Do it for me #Am I perhaps a bit too invested in a character that's honestly not had that much screen time? Perhaps #But what we are given is *muah* I love Yellowtusk #''This is not the change we dreamnt of'' lowkey the moral backbone of the brotherhood.#His little ''Azure...no!'' in the s4 special gets me too #He's just like Mei and MK fr fr #Yes. Maybe I DO like characters that would chose the person they care about over the world. What of it?#lmk writers are fucking masters at giving the most characterization with the least amount of screen time #And I'd say they mainly do that through parallels/foils/themes but I'm no expert #You can just usually put together a lot of who a character is and their arc based off how they interact with what's been established #I have a long rant about Pigsy's arc rattling around in my brain that I want to write out at some point #I will say this though: Pigsy being a man of tradition/family (2x04 - 3x07) and then giving him qualms with his family in s4 is. *muah*#Like. The thing that get's him to soften up about Zhu Bajie is learning he worked hard to become someone better #Like DO NOT TOUCH ME. I LOVE THAT PIG MAN GOD #I'm a pigsy stan blog now #Actually I love every single character I'll be real this is just who I am #I just also happen to love MK Mei LBD and Azure a little more than the rest afdasdf #asks #lmk #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk speculation

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