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#Too many tolkien characters I can't take it
maedictus · 3 months
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More House of Durin doddles!
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spacebarbarianweird · 3 months
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HC of Astarion x fem Elf Tav who’s a Druid, more specifically of the Circle of The Spores subclass. She wears skirts and dresses of dark teals and blacks with gold embroidery and legs round gold glasses, always travels with herbs and roots in her pockets and pouches, and is never afraid to raise an army of the fungal infested undead for the hell of it. Basically she’s the healer who puts on a neutral front but is begging for the chance to rightfully unleash chaos and destruction
Hi! Oh, this is a nice design of a character! And I am sucker for elf!Tav because they can live for many centuries. And Spore Circle is absolutely badass. It turned out to be weird, creepy and bittersweet and I hope you like it! I also tag @tolkien-fantasy since they love Spore Druids.
Astarion x Spore Circle Druid!Tav
There is a thing about Spore Druids.
Unlike your colleagues, you don't particularly hate the undead.
If anything, your magic is about death, too.
Mold and fungi transform lifeless material into something new and weird.
Death isn't the end, it's just a new stage.
The problem with the undead is that they often wish things would stay the same and never change.
Which is unnatural.
Life is about growth and death is about transformation.
You encourage Astarion to heal and grow.
The worst thing about his past was stability and the belief nothing was going to change.
But somehow he preserved his personality and now he slowly demonstrates his ability to "live" in his undeath.
Though, you scare him a bit.
You can resurrect the dead with spores, turning them into zombies, alive and dead, hungry and terrifying.
You infect the corpses and transform them into your loyal servants.
And you can use the same spores to make your enemies blind, deaf, or paralyzed.
Astarion calls you a walking hotbed of plague.
Though, of course, he is in awe - mostly because everything you do is between life and death, which is the stage he himself is stuck in.
But your magic is beautiful.
Mushrooms growing on dead bodies.
Mold desecrating the food.
Fungi bringing life to the most desolate places.
Post-game, Astarion doubts whether to go with you, but you assure him that the Spore Circle will accept him due to his ability to change.
You study the fungi to find answers to your questions and his problems.
The spores can make him more like a living person.
They can protect him from the sun, and they can let him eat normal food.
The prospect scares Astarion - he's seen the infected corpses. It's creepy.
And what if this magic fungi takes over his mind?
You don't insist. It's his choice, after all.
And you are an elf yourself, you have plenty of time.
But the life in the shadows and hunger take a toll on Astarion.
He doesn't want to be an undead. He wants to be alive.
And if his vampirism can't be cured, why not let nature change him?
At least, if you promise his personality won't be affected.
It won't, you are sure of that.
Astarion lets you infect him with the spores.
This transformation is nothing like becoming a vampire.
It's soft, gentle, warm.
Astarion feels like dreaming, sleeping in a warm bed.
The only thing he acknowledges is your presence. You check on him all the time sometimes meditating close to his "fungi grave".
It take almost a year for spores to finish their job, reconstructing his dead flesh.
A lonely year of being alone in your bed.
When Astarion wakes up, he doesn't feel the hunger anymore.
The sun doesn't burn him and he stays in the sunlight for hours before you come to take him home.
The symbiotic fungi has restored his organs to the point where they functioned as they are supposed to.
Astarion is scared to see himself in the mirror - but when he does he sees himself.
Though, there are some changes.
There are golden spots of spores in is eyes and barely visible cobwebs on his legs and arms.
And he is warm. He is so warm.
With his newfound "life", Astarion gets some new abilities, similar to the ones you have.
He can cast spores and rise up the dead, infecting them.
He can hear the fungi songs, connecting his mind with this ancient entity.
And he can feel you.
You know each other thoughts, each other intentions, and presence.
He always knows where you are. He feels your emotions, your sorrows and happiness and you feel him the same way.
You are more than thiramins, more than lovers.
But the best gift the spores gave to Astarion is mortality.
One day, the fungi will slowly take over his body and mind, transforming the flesh once again, bringing him mor, the final death.
And if you are still alive by this moment, you will let spores take over you so you can be together in this next stage of life and death.
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Tag list
@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati @lynnlovesthestars @marina-and-the-memes @waking-electric @ayselluna @connorsui @asterordinary @darkarchangel96 @locallegume @brainfullofhotsauce
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edges-of-night · 10 months
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hi! I've just discovered your blog and I love it - from the url, profile pic, everything 😍 and most importantly your writing, it's so cute and you're able to write so many characters 🥰 as a fellow fic writer - I'm impressed 💜 can I request how they would first realize they love you, and how they would say it for the first time? No pressure, and thank you so much if you end up doing it. 🥰
- @wordbunch (sadly can't send asks from my Tolkien sideblog, so I'm on anon lol)
Thank you so so much for your kind words!! ♡ I’ve actually had this scenario in my “to do notes” already, so I’m very happy you requested it haha! Sorry again for posting so late, I hope you enjoy the read!
・゚✧ Aragorn.
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Aragorn is not someone to make the first step in romance, even if he is the one falling in love first. He’d probably realise it during the ranger job you do together, like looking for herbs or reading traces – where his hand brushed against yours! But Aragorn is very much the person to respond to a love confession of yours, after which he tells you that he reciprocates your feelings in a very romantic manner: “Me too. I am bound to you by honour and affection alike. If you would have me…”
・゚✧ Arwen.
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Arwen would fall in love with you after dancing together. It could be on a ball her father’s giving, or just the two of you under the moonlight, where she’d laugh of bliss. You’d notice a slight change in her behaviour afterwards, more smiles, stolen glances – but you could only be sure after she finally told you, “It is because I have fallen for you, melethel. And there is nothing you can do about it!”
・゚✧ Boromir.
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Boromir takes a casual approach to love and romantic relationships. This is why his love confession to you would be rather nonchalant, maybe over a lunch you’re preparing together over the fire. “I love you, you know that?” he’d say, all cool – as if he didn’t fall for you when he saw you fearlessly wielding a sword and shield during combat training…
・゚✧ Elrond.
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Elrond would fall in love with you so gradually he wouldn’t be able to pinpoint an exact moment of realisation. Maybe it would be over a book you’re reading together, or when he told you about all the ancient stories he witnessed himself – or a grand love story. And then he’d turn to you and say, “Are you aware that this is how I feel about you as well?” He’d be very tender and playful about it, but earnest at the same time. He is very considerate toward you.
・゚✧ Éomer.
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Éomer doesn’t fall in love easily. Maybe due to this lack of experience, he has trouble expressing his feelings after that one horseback ride you did through the rain, where he helped you out of your dirty clothes afterward. His love confession would be a tedious process, with lots of phrases like, “Don’t make me say it. I lack the words to tell you…” – before he eventually leans in for a kiss and quietly adds, “Forgive me. I hope this tells you all the same.”
・゚✧ Éowyn.
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Éowyn is always brash and joyous around you, so her love confession would take you quite by surprise. She’d pick “an old Rohirrim tradition” to show you, maybe a special exchange of gifts, a traditional dance routine etc. “This is how the people of Rohan express their love,” she’d tell you with a soft smile and hopeful eyes. If asked, she would tell you when she realised she loved you: during sword lessons, of course!
・゚✧ Faramir.
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Faramir falls in love with you as soon as he meets you. He’s always been like that, heart racing with as little as a soft look or touch of a hand. For this same reason, and Gondor’s marriage policy, he swallows down any confessions because he has little hope in his own feelings. But after months, maybe years of courting and mutual affection, he’d finally tell you, in some grand romantic spot he chose – on his knees – because he’d connect it to a marriage proposal!
・゚✧ Frodo.
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Frodo would realise he loved you on a warm summer morning, as you’re walking barefoot in the grass – and then not tell you. He’d keep his secret to himself (haha), just smile to himself and subtly check the way you’re feeling before confessing to you – probably while holding both your hands, because that’s how sincere he is! “It gives me hope to hear you say that, because I, too, hold you very dear and love you very much!”
・゚✧ Galadriel.
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Thanks to her powerful telepathy skills, Galadriel probably knows you love her before you yourself do. She knows all about your feelings – but nothing of her own. I like to imagine her as blissfully oblivious, right up until the moment you confess to her. Then something would click inside her, and with a blank stare ahead, she’d whisper, “I love you, too. I haven’t realised it until now – but I do.”
・゚✧ Gandalf.
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Gandalf would realise he loved you after you’ve said or done something incredibly smart, like maybe found the solution to a problem that he was unable to solve. It’d make his heart skip a beat, he even looks away with a blush! And then he’d despair trying to find a “suitable moment for courtship”, as the old ways suggested, full of ceremony – and probably end up telling you his feelings very casually over a cup of tea he invited you to.
・゚✧ Gimli.
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Your usually hard-shelled Dwarf gets very flustered when he says the three words to you – followed by some nervous babbling, like, “There! I said it first. And I mean it very earnestly.” The moment he fell for you was probably connected to seeing you in a new light: Working in the mines all day leaves little room for elegance, but after seeing you in your beautiful banquet outfit, Gimli was walking into walls for the next three days!
・゚✧ Haldir.
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Haldir has always dreaded falling in love. But when you smiling at him makes his heart skip about three beats, he cannot lie to himself any longer. He can lie to you and everyone else though, needless to say. Not that anyone actually believes his denials… But Haldir would only confess his love in a life-or-death situation, when he thinks he’d never get the chance again. Then, of course, he’d be as elegant and romantic as all Elves are.
・゚✧ Legolas.
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If you are near Legolas the moment he realises he loves you – on a scouting trip, for example, or during preparations for a ball in Mirkwood – he’d tell you right away. He’d give you an analysing look, with a smile dancing around his lips, and say something like, “How I love you right now! I love you very much, my dear.” Thanks to his royal training, of course, he’d respectfully draw back until you’ve made your own feelings clear.
・゚✧ Merry.
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While he’s usually rather easy-going, Merry would plan out his love confession (meaning: a speech!) step by step, including an outfit plan and meal schedule designed specifically for you. He is the thinking type, and when it comes to this, he tends to overthink. He’d include a line like, “From the moment I first saw you…” when in reality, he probably fell for you when you joined one of his shenanigans without any reservations, proving just how similar you two are at heart.
・゚✧ Pippin.
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Pippin strikes me as a very “love at first sight” kind of person. At the same time, he’s really casual and playful about it. He’d only talk about it in return of your confession to him, like, “I never thought about that! I fell in love with you the first time we met!” – and probably shower you in a million compliments in the process!
・゚✧ Sam.
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Sam would realise he’s in love with you while thinking of new poetry to write – because all he thinks about is you! Somewhen along the line, he’d lean back in his chair, starting at the dozens of pages he wrote about you – and then have the overwhelming urge to go up and meet you to tell you right away, in his adorably sincere and gentle manner ♡
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sylvan-librarian · 3 months
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In response to the (really good!) story for Murders at Karlov Manor, I've been seeing some (thankfully limited) discourse on the same old tired argument that Magic story has no stakes because characters can die and then come back to life as a ghost or get (seemingly permanently) turned into robot monsters and then get better eventually.
People can obviously feel what they feel and believe what they believe about Magic story, but personally, I'm just so tired of this argument. Magic story is largely a marriage of high fantasy and superhero comics. These two types of literature have much in common, but one similarity stands out in my mind: the impermanence of character death. Comic book superheroes famously won't stay dead, and while this fact has been controversial for decades, it is nonetheless a cornerstone of the genre. And hell, even in The Lord of Rings - the god-emperor and founding text of the entire fantasy genre (for better or worse) - Tolkien's wizard OC Gandalf dies and comes back to life STRONGER ... nigh invincibly powerful (if LotR was written today, people would call Gandalf [and probably Aragorn for that matter] a Mary Sue).
This not my attempt to shill for a corporation, mind you. In contrast, I'd rather see MORE people complaining about things worth complaining about:
The increasing price of the game gatekeeping so many from the hobby
Hasbro firing 1,000 employees right before Christmas
WotC sending hired thugs to someone's house over a mistake the company itself made
The focus on the collectability of cards over how they play
And I'm not even saying there aren't aspects of Magic story itself worth critiquing. To note:
The enjoyability of its prose is inconsistent at times (reread the Magic Origins stories, for example)
The messaging is sometimes off (i.e. - the worst bad guys in the entire universe are folks who use science to make their bodies more in line with their view of themselves)
The stories - especially the big epic ones - are rarely given time to breathe, and the authors are clearly asked to do a lot with very little
War of the Spark: Forsaken
Maybe asking people to have a more nuanced take on the storyline of a children's card game is too much, but I think that "story bad" is far too dismissive. I remember reading through the All Will Be One stories thinking: "Well, there is actually NO WAY WotC is going to kill off ALL of these characters that got phyrexianized." Jace and Ajani are literally two of the main characters of Magic; Nissa, Vraska, and Nahiri are maybe less popular and important to the overall setting, but they all nonetheless have their extremely devoted fans (me; I'm one of those fans; bet you can't guess of which 'walker). I find it a bit silly to assume that the mass permadeath of named characters would be how the Phyrexian arc would end. Modern Magic is just not the type of story where the creators will merc half of their cast just to appease certain sentiments about its literary value.
This post has turned into a lot of meandering nonsense, but here's what I'm largely trying to get across: I wish more people would accept Magic story for what it is, not for what they think it should be. I'm NOT saying people shouldn't have standards for their entertainment, but they also shouldn't expect Shakespeare* - or even Tolkien - from a story about wizard superheroes written to provide a backdrop for a children's card game.
*I also want to mention here: characters dying and then coming back is also present in Shakespeare.
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artist-issues · 3 months
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I have loved reading your posts on various fiction from Christian perspective. I am wondering your opinion on when fantasy/"magic" fiction becomes too much? I used to encounter a lot of people talking about how basically -anything- fantasy was evil. I have struggled with scrupulosity OCD for many years now so I tend to think things towards a legalistic lens. I'd like to be able to enjoy fantasy again, while carefully discerning, so I'd love to hear what you think are the merits/limits of fantasy
Hi! First off, Jesus said: "These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." When you're wrestling with scrupulousity, sometimes it helps to see or hear out loud the reminder that life in Christ is one that's supposed to give you peace, not constant worry about doing everything right--even if you've heard that before and you already know it, sometimes it can help to hear it over again from outside your own head. So there it is! 🤝
Next: thank you for asking me! I'm no professional. But someone did ask me this question once before. I am having a hard time finding it on my blog right now, otherwise I'd link to it, but I'll try to summarize at the end of this post!
EDIT: You asked me to talk about the merits and limits of fantasy and I got carried away explaining why fantasy fiction is not outright evil according to the Bible. I moved that to the end of the post 😅 here's what I think the merits are:
All of Reality, our world, our timeline, was invented by God. That makes Him the storyteller, us His characters, and reality His narrative. Just like any storyteller, He made up a system of rules for His world: rules like, "humans sink in water," and "humans can't be cured of sickness by touching other humans," and "the weather doesn't change just because humans tell it to." Then God, the storyteller, broke His own world-building rules. On purpose. He wrote Himself (Jesus) into the story as a human who COULD walk on water and COULD heal other humans with a touch and COULD tell the weather what to do, and it obeyed.
In fantasy stories, when a character can break the established rules of the created world, we call that "magic." We call it "magic" when the storyteller brings in a supernatural element to show that this character is special, powerful, capable, set apart from all the others.
So that's what I think the merits are. Fantasy stories have a special kind of closeness to The Storyteller Who Invented Stories, because of that very element of "make the rules then bring in rule-breaking specialness" that He uses.
That's where you get Gandalf, or even the Fairy Godmother, or of course Aslan and the Deep Magic.
The limitations to the genre, I would say, is that fantasy stories are very tempting for storytellers' egos. Because of Tolkien, there's this generation of storytellers who think that inventing a fantasy world with rules and races and magical systems and cultures and, to sum it all up, a whole universe of their own design, is the POINT.
They think the themes and the message of their story comes second to how thorough and clever they can be with their made-up magical systems, or fantasy-race-relations, or made-up languages.
Basically, in no other genre have I observed storytellers getting so excited to play god-of-their-own-clever-world than in fantasy. Then they forget that the important part of a story is the message, not the brain that's capable of inventing worlds and languages and cool-sounding names and ancestries. What they have to say basically gets lost in how flashy and cool they can be while saying it.
But that's another soap box for another time. Those are basically the merits and limitations, I think, broad-strokes.
On to the Biblical worldview for magic in stories below!
"Magic" is mentioned in the Bible. It's sorcery. Specifically, the Bible is telling Christians to stay away from "real" magic...which is basically just "trying to connect with spiritual forces to accomplish anything supernatural." We were created to have relationship with one Spirit: God. Anything outside of that is like a fish trying to breathe oxygen: it hurts us. So the Bible says, "no real magic."
But.
"Fantasy fiction magic" is not "a real live human trying to connect with real demonic forces and accomplish something supernatural." Instead, "fantasy fiction magic" is just "a real live human making up a story. Playing pretend."
The Bible has no commands, no rules, against that. Jesus told stories. His servants tell stories. We're made to tell stories.
And the Bible has no commands against telling a story that includes magic in it.
Think of it this way: God said "do not murder" right? But then in Matthew 18 Jesus tells a parable where one man tries to choke another man. There's attempted murder in the story Jesus is telling: but just because God disapproves of the act of murder, does not mean He disapproves of telling a story that features murder.
Sin being in a story isn't a bad thing. It's realistic, because sin exists. What really matters is whether or not the story treats the sin like sin, and not like an admirable thing. Because the point of all stories is to tell the truth in a compelling way. If the story treats something sinful like it's not sinful, that wouldn't be truthful. But if the story treats sin like it's definitely bad, then it's doing what God invented stories to do: tell the truth.
Now here's where you might say, "yeah, but most fantasy stories treat magic like it's a good thing."
Right. But remember: most fantasy stories don't have what the Bible calls "magic" in them at all.
When the Fairy Godmother in Cinderella says "bibbidi bobbidi boo," she's not calling upon demons to give her supernatural power (which is what the Bible is talking about when it condemns magic.) She's using a pretend superpower that the storyteller made up, on the spot, for the story. Her "magic" is not what the Bible calls "magic," so it doesn't even matter if it's portrayed as "good" or "bad" morally.
Fantasy fiction is fine. There is no reason, Biblically, for Christians not to read fantasy fiction if their only reason for it is "well there's magic in it."
There's nothing wrong with telling a story that has a supernatural element in it. It's only a story. As long as it's not real humans doing creation-worshipping or demon-contacting practices, in real life it's okay to write and it's okay to read.
Let me know if that makes sense!
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Along for The Ride - Part 1
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Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
Summary: Transported to Middle Earth, you must Join Thorin Oakenshield's Company as they travel to reclaim Erebor! OR: My take on the classic 'modern girl in Middle Earth' troupe. With this first installment, we are following the first movie of The Hobbit trilogy, and falling in love with Kili on the way! Slow burn with this one y'all, nothing spicy till the next work I'm afraid.
Tags: Kili / Reader, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Modern Character in Middle Earth, During The Hobbit, How Do I Tag, Canon-Typical Violence, Kíli Is a Little Shit (Tolkien), wrote this while I had covid, in like 4 days lol, implied soulmates, Dwarf Culture & Customs, Freeform, Holding Hands, Cuddling & Snuggling, Sleepy Cuddles, Protective Thorin Oakenshield Company Members, Dwalin & Thorin Oakenshield Friendship, Fluff and Humor, Domestic Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Where In Middle-Earth Is Gandalf?, Hair Braiding, Dwarf Courting, My First Tumblr Fic, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fíli & Kíli & Thorin Live, Thorin Oakenshield Lives, Fíli Lives (Tolkien), Kíli Lives (Tolkien)
Word Count: 6,292
A/N: I was utterly appalled by the lack of Kili writers on here and Ao3. Y'all who write for Kili, I've been eating your crumbs like it's the shit (cause it is) for weeks, but one can't be sustained on crumbs alone so I've prepared a feast!! This is the first fic I've ever wanted to post, please be gentle. Comments, Likes, and Reblogs are loved and treasured!!
Tagging the amazing Kili writers I've been living off of for the past few weeks and who have inspired me so they might share in the feast as well lol go check out their stuff too: @mikathemonster, @cowboybeepboop, @littleenglishfangirl, @ethereal-inquisitor, @sweetpeakili
Photo credit: @immawriteyouthings
Divider credit: @cafekitsune
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You were having one of those days that made you want to run away from everything. Instead, you walked on the golf course behind your house after hours; no phone, no umbrella, no bag this time, just you. You had what you could fit from your hands in your jean pockets as you walked the grassy field. Something twinkled and caught your eye on the far side of the fairway, there was a sparkle in the ferns. You walked over and began looking through the underbrush. Your hand grazed a smooth stick with a mangled end that encased a gem. You picked it up hoping for a better look but were transported to another world instead!
You appeared in the new world holding the staff. You were standing beside an older fellow with a pointy hat and long grey beard. You looked around and saw many other gruff, burly-looking men sitting in an encampment. They looked as confused as you. You did the only thing you could think of doing at that moment.
You turned around and took off running as fast as you could.
The wizard whose staff you were running away with asked the younger dwarves in his company to fetch you for him. They ran after you as quick as the wind. You dodged trees and hurdled bushes, making an all-around great effort. You were slowing down though. You stopped for a moment to catch your breath and plan. A twig snapped in the distance; quick footsteps closed in on you. You took off again. You needed a place to hide, a moment to think for God's sake. You were afforded no such luxuries. They were gaining, you were tiring. In your drained haste, you tripped on a bush which sent you stumbling and struggling to regain your footing given your momentum. You finally fell and scampered to take cover behind the roots of a great tree. Their footfalls grew slower and drew nearer. They were so close you could hear their words now.
“…She’s hiding, Fili,” one said much closer than you expected them to be.
You tried your best to steady your breathing. Your heartbeat was so loud you knew they could hear it.
“Stop scaring her Kili,” The other chastised. “You know she’s got to be scared half to death”. He walked past you, studying the ground. The other came up the other side of the tree doing the same.
You gripped the staff preparing yourself to be found. They turned in unison following the same tracks and looked up at you simultaneously. They were both panting but not as hard as you. Fili, the elder and more experienced of the two knelt where he stood a few yards from your curled trembling form.
“My name is Fili” He put his hand on his chest and motioned to the man next to him, “This is my brother Kili. We mean no harm to you.” He kept his distance and showed his empty hands. You stayed firmly pressed against the tree trunk, your chest heaving rapidly and your eyes as large as saucers. They could have tackled you, beaten you, or done any number of terrible violating things, but they kept their distance and spoke softly.
“What’s your name?” Kili asked, with a charming smile as he crouched beside his brother.
“Y/N,” you said in a shaky freaked-out tone.
“Y/N, that’s our friend wizard’s staff,” Fili said, “If anyone can figure out how you got here, he can.”
“But you gotta come back to camp with us,” Kili said reaching out his hand as a peace offering. So many horrible things could happen to you in the wild of this new world, but even more on top of that could if you didn’t go with them.
“How can I trust you?” You asked them. They looked at each other.
“How can we trust you?” Kili threw back at you with a suspicious look and recoiled his hand.
“Touche” you nodded returning his look.
“Seems we are at an impasse then,” Fili huffed at his brother, “You want to get home, and our wizard can do that. The only way that can happen is if you come with us back to our camp. We can only offer you our word and promise on our honor as dwarven princes that you will not be harmed by any in our company.”
You thought for a moment and nibbled at your lip, “You promise?” you looked up at Kili this time.
Kili looked you deep in the eyes, and very seriously said: “No harm will ever come to you, on my honor as a prince.”
You nodded at this, “Very well”, and tried to stand up but were stuck against the tree. The 2 men easily lifted you back to your feet. You followed them back to the camp.
You tried your best to hide behind Kili as you approached the wizard smoking a pipe. You peeked from around his shoulder at the other men in the camp. They were looking at you.
“Please sit, my dear,” The wizard said to you, motioning to the rest of the long log beside him “We have much to discuss.”
Your legs wouldn’t move you from behind the dwarf. You were still quite afraid.
“She seems to have taken a liking to you Kili,” the wizard said to him. The rest of the company let out a soft chuckle of agreement. You couldn’t see it from your angle, but Kili smiled and nodded.
“Sit down child, we aren’t going to hurt you,” One of the dwarves sitting across the fire said. You took a deep breath to gather your courage. One false move by any of the others would have you bolting again.
You moved from behind Kili and sat beside the wizard still clutching the staff.
“May I take that from you?” the wizard politely asked. You handed it to him. He explained how this type of thing had happened to a couple of his wizard friends before, but he didn’t know the remedy or spell to undo it or how to prevent it from happening again. You sat quietly listening and nodding. He explained to you and the rest of the company that he was leaving to travel to his friend and inquire about your predicament. In the meantime, he convinced the company and its leader, Thorin you came to know, to keep you in the company as an innocent bystander to help around the camp and whatnot till Gandalf (the wizard) could figure out what to do with you. Gandalf gave you a small sack of coins, instructing you to get a bag, a bedroll, clothes, and any other necessities you’ll need at the next town.
As the fire died down so did the company. They got out their bedrolls and sleeping gear like a synchronized unit and as quickly as they started, they were all asleep snoring softly. Kili had first watch and was sitting on the ground next to you leaning against the log you were on. You slid onto the ground next to him curled with your knees to your chest. He looked over at you. You looked over at him.
“I don’t know what to do now,” you said not hiding the waver in your voice very well, “I’m so scared.” You couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. You cried into your hands as quietly as possible, so you didn’t disturb and anger the others. If you had looked at Kili, you would have seen him in a slight panic and at a loss for what to do, he didn’t know how to console crying women. You sobbed into your hands knowing you just needed to let it all out then you’d be fine. Kili looked at the fire and put his hand on your back. Physical contact of any kind back home was next to nonexistent, it felt nice to know he was trying his best to comfort you. After a few minutes of uncontrollable sobbing and hiccups wracking through you, you began calming down. When you were able to breathe properly, you wiped your face even though tears kept falling. You sniffled and rested your chin on your knees letting the tears fall silently now.
“Do you feel better?” Kili guessed in a soft tone and rubbed his hand on your back.
You nodded at him, “Yes” You took a deep breath and wiped the tears from your eyes as best you could, “Thank you” You looked at him and smiled a little. He smiled and nodded too, still concerned but returned his hand to his lap. You sniffled and looked at the fire.
“Really though I don’t know what I’m doing,” you said. “I’ve never been camping before,” you paused to think. “I don’t know how to fight or use a sword or make a fire or hunt or-or—” You were working yourself up and starting to cry again. Kili cut you off before you could start sobbing hysterically again.
“WOAH! Woah!!” alarmed, he put his hand on your back again, “It’s ok. Calm down.” he said harshly, “Take a deep breath, that seemed to help last time,” He mumbled the last part under his breath. That made you smile despite yourself.
“You don’t know how to console someone, do you?” You took a deep breath and wiped your eyes. He shook his head and took his hand from you. “Seems we’re both out of our depth then,” you said making the mood a bit lighter.
“In my defense, I was raised in a pack of manly men,” He smiled fondly “It’s a wonder my mother got through to me at all.”
“So, you do have a mother,” you said, making him look at you quizzically “I assumed you were raised by wolves,” You shrugged. He laughed and you couldn’t help but smile.
“You’re not completely wrong about that,” He smiled, looking over at the men across the fire. There was a momentary silence. “We’ll teach you those things, how to fight, how to make a fire, all that,” He looked over at you, “I mean who knows how long Gandalf will be, and you’d have to be pretty stupid not to pick up a thing or two even from this bunch.” You smiled and nodded; this calmed your nerves a little. A moment of silence fell between you again.
“Is it ok if I stay up with you?” you innocently asked, “I’m not very tired.”
“Sure,” he said casually, “May I ask about your life back in your world?”
“OK,” You nodded.
“What do you do?” he asked, you gave him a weird look. “Like for a living, how do you make money, how do you spend your days?”
“I’m a student at university at the moment.” He looked at you confused this time. “I spend my days studying at a desk, it’s boring and dull” You quickly summed up.
“Ooohh,” He said, “No wonder you couldn’t run for shit,” He laughed.
You scoffed, “So rude,” You huffed, failing to hide your smile. He was glad you were cheering up a bit.
“If it’s so boring and dull, why don’t you do something else?” He asked, naive to your world and its ways.
“It’s…complicated” you sighed “I have to study to do what I want to do for work even though I don’t want to work or study or do any of that, but I have to make money somehow because I need money to do stuff and buy things because the world I live in is shitty that way and it’s so frustrating sometimes,” you gritted your teeth to make your point.
“Well, what do you want to do then?” he asked, trying to understand your strange world.
“Sit on the beach,” You said without hesitation “…Listen to the waves…sleep on a blanket in the sun,” you sighed wistfully. “Die happy and rich.”
“That does sound nice” He agreed “I’ve never seen a tropical ocean before, the seas near the Blue Mountains are all frozen over.”
“Surely there’s a beach somewhere in this world,” You refused to believe the universe sent you to a world without a beach.
“There is! I’ve heard stories of Southern Gondor, where the sun makes the sand hotter than forges, and the water falls over the horizon in every direction.”
“That sounds like the beaches from back home,” You felt a little bad for him. You’d been practically raised at the beach because it was the only free thing to do in your hometown.
“May I ask a question?” you asked this time.
“Of course,” He shifted to lean against the log and face you.
“What are you guys doing?” you gestured to the camp around you.
“We are on a quest!” He said proudly, “A quest to take back our ancestral home from the dread dragon Smaug,” he said in a sinister voice. He explained about Erebor and the dragon and Thorin to catch you up. You listened, nodded, and took it all in, asking questions and giggling at his jokes. He was a decent storyteller.
“And I’m just along for the ride I guess,” you said deflated about your role in all this.
“If it’s any consolation, you’re quite good company,” He indulged; Kili always got so lonely on watch.
“Yay!” you said over a yawn, “I’d hate to bore any of you,” you replied, genuinely fearing your stories may never measure up to theirs. You leaned over and laid on the soft grass, curled in a ball with your arm as a pillow. You tried not to shiver from the cool evening breeze. You heard some shuffling of fabric, and then a blanket fluttered on top of you. You looked at Kili who smiled and said: “I’m quite the furnace at night, I’ll be fine without it,” he reassured.
“Thank you,” you said over another yawn. You didn’t expect to fall asleep but the next thing you knew it was early morning and you were awoken by the clanging of pots and spoons. You sat up and looked around to get your bearings.
‘Still in the same strange world’ you thought not fully awake. Kili appeared, greeted you good morning, and handed you a bowl of white goo he called porridge. You thanked him and ate your breakfast in silence like the rest of the company. While the men packed up the camp you were tasked with washing the dishes in a nearby stream. You were struck by the beauty of the incredible woods around you even in the dim morning light. You returned to camp and put the dishes in their bag, which was taken by one of your new companions. You felt out of place without a task among everyone who knew what to do. Balin saw you standing in the middle of the camp looking lost. He asked Thorin what they were to do about their lack of an extra pony for you. They decided you could ride with Kili seeing as he was the lightest (next to Bilbo) and his pony could take the weight and because you seemed the most comfortable with him. The old dwarf with a white-grey beard curled up at the ends approached you with as much of a nonthreatening air as he could muster.
“Good morning, my dear!” He greeted you with a chipper smile. “My name is Balin”
“Good morning,” you replied. “I don't quite know what I’m to be doing,” you said sheepishly.
“That’s ok lass, it’ll come with time,” he reassured, “For now, you’ll ride with Kili so you can see if he needs help getting ready.”
“Ok,” You nodded and started walking in Kili’s direction. You stopped in front of his pony and petted its nose and down its neck. “I’ve been told that I’m to ride with you,” you said timidly looking at him adjust his saddle. Kili looked at you and nodded.
“I’ll be happy to have a lovely conversation again” He smiled and looked back at his saddle, making the final arrangements.
He turned to you and said, “I’ll give you a leg up,” And jabbed a thumb at his pony. You nodded and approached the animal. You put your hands on the ponies back and bent your leg waiting for him to help. He leaned forward so he could whisper in your ear: “Wrong leg”. You blushed quite profusely at that and switched legs. He heaved you with such strength he nearly threw you over the other side of the pony. You made yourself comfortable behind the saddle before he hooked his foot in the stirrup and carefully mounted so he didn’t knock you off.
“You ok?” he asked over his shoulder.
“Yep!” you smiled. He nodded. You were excited to see new lands even though you feared what they harbored.
“If you need to hold on to me when we get going you can,” he said, making you both blush despite yourselves.
A few moments later Thorin called out: “Company ready?” in a deep booming voice, “Aye!” They all replied in unison. “Company, move out!” He bellowed and urged his pony forward. The rest followed behind him one by one. When your animal lurched forward you grabbed Kili's waist for dear life. The company was silent till they got to the end of the forest. You had your cheek pressed against Kili’s shoulder and your chest against his back. The fur of his coat was very soft against your face as you turned your head to look over his other shoulder. You yawned but didn’t realize you did it right next to his ear and breathed down his neck. He determinedly kept his eyes on the pony ahead of him to keep the blush rising in his chest at bay.
“You can take a nap if you need to,” he said over his shoulder in a soft voice for only you to hear.
“That sounds like a good idea,” You yawned again. You buried your face in the soft spare fabric of the hood on his back and cuddled closer to him to rest your head on his shoulder. You closed your eyes and sleep swiftly took you. He knew this because he could feel your breathing slow on the back of his neck. He was happy you could sleep and couldn’t help his smile. You shifted now and then, turning your head one way then a while later turning it the other. Kili tried not to talk or move too much in fear of waking your delicate slumber. By midday, you felt very well rested. You took a deep breath and released your grasp on Kili to stretch your arms above your head, arching your back to wake yourself up. You quickly slipped your arms around him again, so you didn’t fall.
“Good morning!” He chirped, “Well afternoon really,” he corrected with a smile, “Sleep well?”
“Mhm,” You hummed against his shoulder “I haven’t slept that well in a long time,” you said thinking back on the restless weeks before your arrival in Middle Earth.
“Good,” He nodded. “Happy I could be of service.”
“Yes, you make quite the comfortable bed,” you replied.
An easy silence settled between you for a while. You contentedly watched the landscape pass by while he kept the pony on the path.
“What’s a good weapon for a beginner?” You asked knowing you needed to start wrapping your head around the fact that you could be stuck here forever and needed to protect yourself. He thought about that for a few moments.
“I’d have to say a bow,” He shrugged, “I don’t know honestly, lemme ask Fili,” he kicked up his pony to walk faster to be next to his brother. “What is the best weapon for a beginner?” He asked him. Fili glanced at you and thought for a moment.
“Hmm I think a sword would be easiest,” He replied, contradicting his brother.
“A sword?!” Kili said incredulously “No that’s one of the harder ones,” He swatted his hand as if to swipe the words from the air.
Fili scoffed “For you maybe,” he said barely keeping his teasing smile under control “But not to the rest of us, my weapon-challenged brother.” That made you giggle. Kili huffed and pulled his horse back, so he wasn’t beside his brother anymore.
“Are you that bad with a sword?” you asked, trying not to laugh too much.
“No!” he exclaimed, “I’m just better with a bow and arrows,” he pouted.
‘Awe he’s so cute when he pouts’ Your thought took you by surprise.
“Perhaps you can teach me, Archer,” Your voice was lower than you intended, making you both blush. Your breath ghosted over his ear making him shiver just a little. He turned his head to look at you over his shoulder, his face so close to yours. He looked at your lips then deep into your eyes holding eye contact.
“Maybe I will,” he said in a deep gruff whisper that made you gasp and goosebumps rush over your skin. He turned back and smiled; proud he could get a rise out of you. You huffed and distanced yourself from him by leaning back, needing the space to calm down.
As night drew closer, Thorin led the company to the edge of a forest and found a shallow cave, more like a cliff overhang to make camp for the night. He told Fili and Kili to take care of the ponies and Oin and Gloin to make the fire. After the meals had been handed out Thorin told you to take Fili and Kili a bowl. You walked through the forest and found them looking at a downed tree in panicked awe.
“Something took 4 of the ponies,” Fili said to you, hoping you’d have the answer to their predicament.
“Yes, and…” you nodded at them trying not to panic yourself “What are you going to do about it since it’s your problem?”
The brothers decided to see what took the ponies and if they could handle it themselves, no need to worry Thorin, right? You followed them as they tracked the pony-nappers. Kili hid behind a tree and peeked around, you hid behind him and peeked over his shoulder. 3 large trolls were something to worry about, and a sight that made that dreadful feeling drop from your chest into your stomach. Your grip on Kili’s coat tightened.
He turned to you and said in barely a whisper, “Go back to camp and tell Thorin”.
Fili was immediately against it, huffing and puffing from behind his tree. Kili shrugged and motioned with hands as if to say, ‘What else would you have us do?!’ Fili huffed again and snuck around the tree. He tried to cut the rope fence with his sword, but he took too long. The trolls caught him. They were deciding ways to eat him when Kili looked at you in alarm and told you to go back to camp. You ran as fast as you could.
“Ponies! Big grey troll things took the ponies!” You said out of breath pointing the way you just came “Fili…in…danger”. Thorin cursed in dwarfish and rallied the company. Balin told you to keep your distance, so you didn’t get caught in the fight.
The dwarves fought bravely but were captured. Bilbo bid for more time while you thought of a plan. You heard the trolls complain about daylight coming and that gave you an idea. You saw the trolls had made camp in the shade cast by a large boulder. You wedged a branch under the rock and used the leverage to try to roll it. It was very heavy, and you were not. It took everything in your power to push the branch to roll the boulder down the ditch edge it rested on. The trolls were washed in sunlight, turning them to stone and freeing the company. They cheered when you stepped over the branch and into the clearing. You helped them from their confines and smiled and blushed when they praised your good job.
Back at camp the company gathered their things and discussed what to do now. Fili suddenly hushed the company.
“Warg howls in the distance,” He whispered to Thorin “They are coming!”
“RUN!” Thorin yelled at the company. Following Thorin everyone started running. You all ran as fast as you could onto a hilly plane sprinkled with trees and boulders. You ran and ran till the Wargs finally caught up. They began to encircle you. The company fought the beasts, taking them down as still more came at them. You went to hide behind the rock formation but fell into it instead. You climbed out as the Wargs were closing in.
“Down here!” you called “There’s a passage this way!” you slid down to make room for the others. Thorin was the last one, as he slid down a horn was blown near the entrance to the passage.
“I can’t see where it leads, do we follow?” One of the dwarves asked.
“Yes! We follow!” Thorin barged through the dwarves and led the company through the narrow pass. You all walked for a few minutes, but then Thorin rounded a corner and slowed as he realized where he’d unwittingly led the company. The rest kept walking around him, but Bilbo stopped and said in admiration: “Rivendell”. You stopped as well to take in the view before you. It was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. A small town on the side of a mountain with water flowing from beneath some of the glittering structures.
As Thorin led the company over a bridge, you grabbed Kili’s arm to steady yourself as you looked around and took in the ornate statues and architecture of the front steps of a large building. A man much taller than you or the dwarves approached the group.
“We would like to speak to Lord Elrond,” Thorin said through gritted teeth. He was swallowing his pride for the betterment of the quest, that much was clear through his clenched fists and tense shoulders.
“Lord Elrond isn’t here,” The elf said regretfully.
“Then where is he?” Thorin’s patience was growing thin. A horn was sounded on the other side of the bridge you’d just crossed. Everyone turned to see a group of horses galloping towards them. The dwarves began shouting in dwarfish and closing ranks with their weapons ready for battle. You were pushed into the very center of the circle as tall horses and riders circled you. They stopped suddenly and the one on a black horse dismounted.
“My Lord Elrond,” The elf who first approached you said with a bow.
“Lindir” Elrond bowed his head at him then turned to the leader of your group, “Welcome Thorin son of Thrain,” He looked over the dwarf “You have your grandfather's bearings.”
“I’m afraid I know you only from the stories my grandfather told me,” Thorin was doing his best to be polite. (You were later informed that the stories were mostly about him being a ninny.)
“I’d like to offer you and your company a taste of our elfish hospitality,” Elrond said with a warm smile.
“Does that mean we’ll eat?!” Bombur called from the back. The company chuckled at him.
“Yes Bombur, that means we’ll eat” Dori replied. The company cheered at the prospect of a full belly and a warm hearth.
Not long after, you were sat next to Bilbo and Kili at a large table. The salad appetizers were very good despite the dwarves not liking green food very much. You giggled at their jokes about how bad the music was or how they wanted chips and meat. Thorin was sat at another table across from Elrond discussing something you couldn’t hear, but you could tell it pained Thorin to be in the other man's presence.
You turned to Kili beside you. “Thorin looks constipated,” you said in a low voice barely containing your laughter “He can’t even pretend to be enjoying this”. Kili looked over at his uncle and laughed with you.
When the meals were served there was boisterous laughter and general dwarfish shenanigans, the usual at any merry dwarfish gathering. Bilbo looked like he was having PTSD from when they were doing the same at his house at the beginning of the quest. At the end of the meal, Thorin and Balin disappeared with Elrond to discuss a map. You asked Kili if he would escort you to the markets with as much innocent girlish need as you could muster to solidify your security. He agreed and walked with you through the corridors and to the market. He helped you get a fair price on a bag, a blanket, and a bedroll. The next thing you needed was clothes to blend in.
“What do the women around here wear exactly?” You asked him. He shrugged.
“It depends, I guess” He had his hands shoved in his pockets as he followed you around the clothing stalls like a puppy.
“Gee, that’s a big help.” You teased.
After some more wandering you found a stall selling clothes that looked your size. You purchased a dark blue form-fitting tunic that stopped above your knees and had slits on the sides that went up to your hips. It paired very nicely with the brown pants and brown coat with dark blue highlights you bought as well. Kili helped barter with the merchants since you didn’t know the fair price of things here. In another section of the market, you bought spools of black, blue, and pink thread. You put your belongings in your new bag.
“Are we done?” Kili asked, sounding slightly annoyed. He was ready to go back to the others and be away from so many elves. You sighed and rolled your eyes playfully and nodded. He led you through the busy crowded markets by holding your hand. You were thankful he was in front of you so he couldn’t see your blush. You made it back to the group, who had set up camp in a courtyard garden at the end of a hallway. Just as you arrived two female and two male elves came down the hallway.
One of the males stepped forward, “The bathhouse is ready for you now” he said to the group.
“Bath?! We don’t need no stinkin’ bath!” Exclaimed a dwarf from behind the fire. The rest heartily agreed, not ready to drop their pants on elvish soil it seemed.
“I’d like a bath” you timidly said, not wanting to make a fuss but very much wanting to be clean.
“Very good mistress dwarf, if you’ll follow us,” one of the female elves said. You were tense as you followed the four elves down the corridor, not sure what you were doing.
“You best go with her lad,” Dori said to Kili, “You never know what an elf might try to pull.” He glared at the back of the elves as they walked away. Kili nodded and ran after you.
“Y/N!” He called making you and the elves stop.
“Oh, change your mind, Kili?” You asked with an innocent smile, happy to have his company.
“Yeah, I guess so.” He smiled too.
You were led to a large door that opened into a covered hot spring that flowed over the balcony to create an assumably gorgeous waterfall. Columns lined the outer edge of the room which was split down the middle by a cloth partition. The male elves walked to one side of the divider with Kili in tow, while the females walked to the other. The elves asked that you wash under the heated shower of water off to the side before entering the hot springs. They left you to your own devices.
“I’ve never seen anything like this have you?” You asked Kili across the large room.
“No” He smiled at the wonder in your voice from seeing new things and making discoveries. He thought it was very cute.
You placed your bag and new clothes on the vanity in the corner. You undressed and stepped under the warm shower. You used the bar of soap you found to wash your hair and body. It was the best-smelling soap you’d ever had the pleasure of experiencing.
“Hey, Kee?” You hollered.
“Yeah?” He yelled back.
“Do you plan on keeping your soap?”
“No…Why?”
“I’ll take it then. I’ll need extra anyway,” And you were so happy you did. That soap made your hair silky smooth and stronger than ever. You rinsed the suds away then stepped into the hot springs.
It felt luxurious. You couldn’t help but moan a little as the heat pulled every knot and tense muscle from you. Relaxed, you floated in the steamy water.
“You still there Kili?” you asked suddenly nervous he’d left you.
“Yeah, I’m here” He replied, “We shouldn’t take too much longer though, Thorin could be back any minute and who knows what kind of a mood he’ll be in.”
That made you enjoy the bath a little faster. Not long after you began drying off and getting dressed. You took the hairbrush and beads and other miscellaneous hair trinkets that were on the vanity. You looked in the mirror at your new outfit. It fit as you thought, though a little snugger in some places than others, hugging your curves to allow for movement yet still baggy for breathability and insulation. Overall, a nice ensemble.
“Ready Y/N?” Kili asked from across the partition.
“Yeah, you can come over, I’m just packing my things.” You replied, folding your old clothes, and putting them in your bag with the rest of your things.
“Here’s the soap” He handed it to you.
“Thanks!” You smiled at him; you simply wrote his flushed cheeks off to the hot water. When you stood, he was able to get a much better look at you in your new clothes.
“A perfect fit I see” He smiled, looking you up and down. He couldn’t help but imagine what you’d look like wearing nothing but his tunic. A line of thought he blushed at and quickly willed away.
“Does it look alright? I don’t know how it’s supposed to fit” You fussed with the hems and the folds trying to make them lay better. He grabbed your hand to make you stop fidgeting.
“You look great,” he said with a genuine smile. You smiled and nodded your appreciation.
You walked back to camp, making moneyless bets on what mood Thorin would be in when he returned.
As you approached Fili saw you in your new outfit and said, “Well look at this…” Making the rest of the company look at you too, “Our wee lass looks like a bona fide middle earther now!” They cheered at your near-complete indoctrination.
“Now she just needs to learn how to fight like one.” Bofur quipped from beside the fire.
“Then I wouldn’t need any of you to protect me!” You put the back of your hand to your forehead feigning a damsel in distress, making the company laugh. You sat on the ground beside the long chair Kili was now examining his weapons in and leaned against it. You held out a stone fish figurine to him.
“As a thank you for helping me” you cleared your throat “…And for being my friend.” You couldn’t meet his eyes, but you knew he was smiling a little around his reed pipe. He took it from your open hands. You know it wasn’t much but it’s all you could offer.
“Maybe one day you can return it to the ocean,” you said, referring to your previous conversation.
“Maybe I will,” he smiled down at you with genuine fondness.
“Bombur!” Bofur called before throwing a sausage to his cousin. The table, which took skilled elfin craftsman months, even years to craft and carve out of solid wood, collapsed under the massive weight of Bombur. Everyone erupted in laughter, it was nice to be part of the group and share in the merriment.
~~
Thorin stopped Balin on their way back to the camp, “We should leave her here,” He said, “She is a liability.”
Balin had a terrible sinking feeling in his round tummy when he thought of splitting you up.
“So what if she is, Thorin?” Balin said near pleading. “Have you ever seen your nephew that happy or open with a girl that quick before? I’ve never seen the lad so engaged in a conversation that didn’t have to do with weapons before last night. So what if she dies on our quest, at least we gave them a chance to happen, and if fate finds their pairing favorable it will all work out!” Balin was desperate to keep you and the young prince together if only to keep the sinking feeling at bay.
Thorin huffed, “Very well, but her blood is not on my hands,” He walked away and into the camp.
~~
Thorin and Balin returned, and the tone became slightly more serious—slightly. The company settled and laid their bedrolls in the grassy parts of the garden. You laid yours out as well and prepped for sleep by removing your shoes and coat. The night was warm enough that your blanket would suffice. You looked up at the stars wondering if any of the constellations were the same as back home. You cuddled your coat to your chest relishing the feel of the soft fabric. The low conversation between Fili and Kili, while they sat on watch across the fire, lulled you to sleep.
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solmarillion · 10 months
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i know there's some people out there who think that silvergifting, specifically sauron falling in love with celebrimbor, is out of character for him. i'm gonna rant about that a little and talk about why it's not true.
we are told sauron didn't start out as evil. tolkien doesn't believe in inherent evil. and there is something human about sauron, in how much of a perfectionist he is, the way that he grew frustrated with all of the disorder in the world. these were things that he couldn't control, supposedly- but what if he could? he never would've been satisfied just working for aulë, not when all of the imperfections he saw became an obsession for him. and here comes melkor, giving him all of the power he wants to make that dream a reality for him. sauron is said to have "adored" melkor.
these are actual human feelings that real people experience. i have autism, ADHD, OCD, bipolar disorder and multiple anxiety disorders and a lot of the feelings sauron experiences about perfectionism, wanting to have control over things you just can't- these are feelings i deal with every single day!! it's just that sauron, being 1.) one of the ainur and 2.) a villain, takes these feelings to such an extreme that it warps him, and it shows how damaging you can be to yourself if you don't have a good support system, if you don't have people in place who genuinely want to help you and understand you. it's pretty clear to me that sauron is capable of experiencing human emotions, so by extension he is absolutely capable of love.
with these things in mind, it is PERFECTLY in-character for sauron to not only fall in love with celebrimbor but also to feel guilty about torturing and killing him. because celebrimbor is just another one of those things that he can't control, but he loves him. even if he wanted to just be annatar, he couldn't- celebrimbor would find out the truth eventually, and most likely reject him. and he couldn't just abandon all of those plans he sacrificed everything for. he left aulë and betrayed him, left melkor behind after so many years serving him, everything was building up to this moment. sauron was too transformed by all of his experiences and to just give up on everything would be giving up on who he had become. melkor became a part of him. but celebrimbor did too, and that's why it hurts so much. sauron is literally killing off a part of himself when he kills celebrimbor- the part of him that could've become annatar. it's fascinating to think about, what could drive someone to kill the person they love, and even more interesting when it's someone with as much potential for character exploration as sauron.
the rings of power would not have been made without celebrimbor. annatar and celebrimbor worked together in close partnership for 300 years, and the act of subcreation is said to be intimate. celebrimbor is part of the story of the one ring, and there's something special about celebrimbor and sauron's relationship, so much potential to be explored, even if you don't ship them romantically. i'm so tired of people shutting down the possibility of sauron experiencing love and being emotionally vulnerable just because "he's evil". tolkien didn't write a whole essay on sauron's motivations and complexities only for them to be dismissed like that. let's embrace the nuances in tolkien's villains instead of ignoring them.
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thelordofgifs · 17 days
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20 questions for fic writers
Thank you @sallysavestheday and @grey-gazania! I was eyeing this one and hoping for a tag, some great questions here.
1. How many works do you have on AO3? 51, although one's a podfic.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 250,683. More than half of which is from last year alone!
3. What fandoms do you write for? Currently exclusively the Silmarillion, with the occasional little LoTR ficlet.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos? the fairest stars, Inflection, an ancient song, all those that follow, Ilimbë. I'm always surprised by an ancient song's popularity – it was a pretty low-effort ficlet – but a solid list nonetheless!
5. Do you respond to comments? Yes, always! (Glances nervously at the pile I've accumulated in the last couple of weeks of travelling). I love replying to comments, though. It's so nice to be able to engage with all my lovely thoughtful readers and their excellent thoughts!
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? ever an anguish that pursued is pretty bleak. before the black gale is also a tragedy of sorts, though I'm not sure that makes it qualify as angsty as such.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Ilimbë ends quite joyfully, although while writing the final scene I did have the shadow of their unhappy future in mind! I think the cleaving's ending is also quite happy, or at the very least cathartic.
8. Do you get hate on fics? No, thankfully! All my readers have been very kind and appreciative <3
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Three fics so far! All of which were gifts for friends, and made me push my boundaries a little. I'm proud of all of them, though! Smut is less scary than I used to think :)
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? No, never! If I did, it would probably be more of a retelling/AU than straight-up having characters from different fandoms meet.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not to my knowledge!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No – I fear I am rather too much of a control freak for this, and would rather not inflict myself and my pedantry on an unsuspecting co-writer.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Russingon... it's the forbidden romance and the doomed nature of it all and the fact that love wasn't enough to save them :( also the murders, of course.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? boats against the current, the "Maedhros doesn't swear the Oath" AU I blithely started back in 2022, is simply not going anywhere at any sort of speed. Perhaps this is the year! Let's see.
16. What are your writing strengths? Dialogue and characterisation! I'm good at emotional beats, I think.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? Description... I tend to write VERY minimally and then have to go back on edits and add in some descriptive language so that the entire story isn't just two talking heads in an empty room. Always very pleased when people compliment my descriptions for that reason – they take conscious effort!
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Fine if it's footnoted, I think. I tend to avoid it on the basis that all the dialogue I write has been "translated" from one of Tolkien's languages anyway; and I don't know any real languages well enough to write fic in them.
19. First fandom you wrote for? Harry Potter, although I've soured on the fandom now for obvious reasons :/ For a while I used to think that I could still enjoy the books I loved so much growing up while separating them from the author, but she's so continually hateful and bigoted that I just... can't gain any enjoyment from the franchise anymore. Which is painful, but I'm glad I have the silm fandom to absorb all my creative energy now!
20. Favourite fic you’ve written? the fairest stars! My weird gremlin baby, I love it so. I never expected to care about this fic as much as I did, but I've poured so much thought and heart into it that it was perhaps inevitable. And it's taught me so much about writing cliffhangers :)
No-pressure tags for @eilinelsghost, @searchingforserendipity25, @welcomingdisaster, @that-angry-noldo, @swanmaids, @echo-bleu, @jouissants, @tanoraqui and anyone else who, like me, was eyeing this one hoping to be tagged – @ me and say I tagged you!
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ent-maiden · 4 months
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Were you aware that Bilbo Baggins wears boots in the wilds during his adventure?
Here are Tolkien's illustrations of Bilbo during the Hobbit:
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By the way, my favorite illustrations are canon illustrations.
Too bad he didn't draw many of the LOTR characters. To be fair, though, I basically draw every character EXCEPT my OCS. And we all have our weak points. Mine happens to be backgrounds.
Anyway, here is proof that the boots really did happen, written by Tolkien himself in Letter 27
'There is in the text no mention of his acquiring of boots. There should be! It has dropped out somehow or other in the various revisions -- the booting occurred at Rivendell; and he was once again bootless after leaving Rivendell on the way home.' JRRT 
Yes, he really did wear boots! Even though it seems the hobbits in LOTR never wore them. I guess their soles are as tough and warm as that you might see on a hare.
I can only imagine this is how it went.
*Bilbo arrives in Rivendale*
The elves: You can't cross the Misty Mountains without boots! You'll hurt your feet!
Bilbo: No really, there is no need. I can't take those.
The elves: But we made them just for you! They are just your size.
Bilbo at this point in the story is too polite to refuse and learns how to wear boots even though he doesn't need them to avoid offending the elves.
When he starts living in Rivendale at age 111, he tells the elves about the incident and they all have a laugh about it, swearing never to offer a pair of boots to a hobbit again.
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sallysavestheday · 18 days
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20 questions for fic writers
Thanks very much to @nocompromise-noregrets for the tag! This is always an interesting exercise and I haven't done it in a while.
1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 182, but a goodly subset of those are collections of very short works (drabbles, my beloveds!).
2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 137,372. I average around 700 words per ficlet (counting those that are collections of drabbles). I have only two works over 2,000 words -- one at barely 2,100 and one at 5,600 by dint of TRSB last summer.
3. What fandoms do you write for? Tolkien only. Mostly Silmarillion but occasionally Lord of the Rings, as well.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos? I'm splitting this by fandom because the older LoTR stuff has more kudos simply as a function of time.
For LoTR: Deep in the Ancient Forests of the World; Light a Little Fire in Me; I Do Not Grudge You the Game; Rash Words and Bitter Hopes; Sing, O Stone and Air. These are all Legolas/Gimli ficlets.
For Silm: When All Other Lights Go Out (the aforementioned TRSB Feanorian family drama); What We Make, Makes Us (Caranthir and Feanor); What Keeps Us Here (Celeborn and Thranduil); Still Plenty of Good in the World (Sam Gamgee fixes Feanor and Nerdanel); and It Is the Opinion of this Reviewer (Finrod critiques the research of his peers).
No method to the madness here, it seems. Some shippy, most not. Some angsty, some humorous, mostly canon compliant. Range of Silm characters. Interesting to see the variety, actually.
5. Do you respond to comments? Always. Usually within a few days. Comments are a great way to get to know other people in the fandom, and it's always a pleasure to see familiar names pop up. It's nice to know I have a bit of a following. But I also love seeing new people appear, and I welcome everything from a single emoji to a full blown rant. I reply to them all.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Only one? Impossible to choose. I love an angsty ending. Killing Fingon off is always a delight (like this, or this). Sending people off to their dooms (like this, or this) is another. Making them consider might-have-beens, too (like this, or this, or this).
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I do also like happy endings! I write many happy post-canon returns, to tie up all the loose ends. Also happy moments within canon, but you usually have to pretend you don't know what comes next (blame the Professor, not me). For LoTR, These Our Braided Lives has a very happy Gimleaf ending. For Silm, try In These Altered States, Rejoice.
8. Do you get hate on fics? Spitting over my shoulder on this one, but no. Even the people who don't agree with my takes on particular characters have always been polite. Thank you, kind readers!
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I don't write anything explicit. I'll read a wide variety but am more restrained in my writing. I've snuck a little bit into the mature range for a few things recently, but I prefer allusion and metaphor, really. It's the spirit of the intimacy that interests me, not so much the mechanics.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Nope. Canon compliant or canon adjacent always.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, I've had a few requests. My Thranduil seems to be quite popular in other languages.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I haven't but would be happy to explore the possibility.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Can't pick just one. Legolas/Gimli, Glorfindel/Ecthelion, Maedhros/Fingon, Finrod/Edrahil. The much rarer Egalmoth/Rog. And I'm pleased to have originated the tag for Amrod/Aredhel. Spitfire fans, get on that! (thanks to chestnut_pod for the horrible, wonderful ship name)
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Not a WIP, even, just an idea that I've mentioned before: an AU in which Fingon, returning from Thangorodrim with Maedhros, can't hold onto him, and he falls from the eagle's back into Lake Mithrim. I won't write it, but I sure hope someone else will.
16. What are your writing strengths? Brevity, ha! Condensing a great deal of emotional development into very few words. Figurative language. Ripping your heart out and stomping on it, tidily.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? Dialogue. I don't write much of it, and it takes a long time to get it right.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I'm not likely to do so. I don't like the way it interrupts the flow. I'd rather indicate the language that is being spoken than try to craft compelling dialogue in it. This is especially fraught in the Tolkien fandoms, where the linguists WILL come for you if you get it wrong, lol!
19. First fandom you wrote for? LoTR. I've only been doing this for a couple of years.
20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Impossible to choose! But my comfort series is The Flower and the Fountain: 16,000 words of Glorfindel and Ecthelion in 32 vignettes. I love those guys.
Thank you so much for the tag! @polutrope @eilinelsghost @melestasflight @tathrin @thelordofgifs @zealouswerewolfcollector, what about you? And anyone else who'd like to share, hop in!
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middleearthpixie · 19 days
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Thank you for the tag, @i-did-not-mean-to!!
And.... we're off...
1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 36
2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 2,583,909 (just about everything i write tends to go novel length and when my muse cooperates, look out!)
3. What fandoms do you write for? Tolkien - The Hobbit and LOTR, and most of the characters played by Richard Armitage.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos? After the Fire, More Than Meets the Eye, Brilliant Disguise, Where I Belong, In This Moment
5. Do you respond to comments? Almost always. It might take me a while, but I try to respond to every one.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? That would be The River which was a short piece of about 3k words that takes place right before Thorin starts out for the Shire and the Quest to retake Erebor.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Pretty much everything else (Where I Belong is more bittersweet than flat out happy). I write romance and one of the hard and fast rules is an ending that is either happy or happy for now. And I am an absolute sucker for a happy ending.
8. Do you get hate on fics? Not so much hate, but useless criticism (and yes, unless a writer has specifically asked for a critique, criticism is useless so save yourself the time and trouble and don't bother with it. Don't like something, don't agree with it? Write your own story how you want it. I'm not even nice about that any more.)
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Sure. I write steamy in general, but Good Trouble, The Chance You Take, Playing with Fire, Damaged Goods, Miss Fortune, Seven Days, and Better Days are the smuttier of my fics.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I've written crossovers for Richard Armitage characters - Guy of Gisborne/John Porter
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I doubt my fics are good enough for anyone to steal, so I'm thinking no.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I'd be very surprised if I have.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, and I don't know that I'd be able to do it, either. I'm far too set in my ways and doing things the way *I* think they should be done and telling the story the way *I* see it.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Thorin x OFC
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I don't have any. I almost never orphan a story. It might take me literally years to finish it, but it will be finished.
16. What are your writing strengths? I write fast and clean (meaning my edits/revisions are usually minimal) and judging by a lot of the comments I receive, I write very good and natural dialogue
17. What are your writing weaknesses? I sometimes have trouble slowing action down, as I usually want to get right to the meat of the story. I also can't always translate the images in my mind to the words on the page.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I write using other languages sparingly - usually just enough to give the reader a feel for the character. It's too easy to fall into linguistic stereotypes otherwise.
19. First fandom you wrote for? Marvel. Loki, specifically.
20. Favourite fic you’ve written? This one is a three-way tie between More Than Meets the Eye, After the Fire, and Something in the Night, (my current WIP) because all three have heroines who are very unique - Arielle is not only trying to pass herself off as her twin brother, but she rambles when she's nervous, Jasna is a medical student who stutters, and Nina is a bounty hunter seeking revenge against a certain dwarf king. All three were and are fun to write.
And now for the no-pressure tags!
@evenstaredits @sotwk @fizzyxcustard @frosticenow @glassgulls @sunnyrosewritesstuff and anyone else who'd like to answer! :)
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swearyshera · 8 months
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Advance apology for the long ask in a likely sea of 'em. A lot of people talk about wishing they could experience something they love again for the first time, this series was genuinely as close to that as I've ever felt. Just given the span of time my attention flucuated on and off but once the latter half of s4/s5 began my attention was absolutely nailed to your feed. Its up with Dragon Ball Z Abridged as parody series that become so dramatically effective they become a valid or definitive way to experience the series. Goddamned sensational.
Your portrayals of the characters soar. They provide a hilarious, cruder take on each that still cuts right to the soul of who these people are and lays it bare, which I think is the mission of any good-natured parody. Adora, Catra, Glimmer, Scorpia, Bow, Prime etc. There is not one that does not shine. It tackled a ton of issues and misgivings I had about canon, and even elevated or clarified many scenes and arcs through addressing them a more direct fashion. You took full advantage of not having to dress up and dance around the dark subjects canon was sort of doomed to handle inadequately given its age bracket and thematic priorities. Many scenes were jawdropping. Ive raved about it before, but your scene with Glimmer actually talking about her mom with Catra still leaves me gobsmacked every time I reread it. Your big moments towards the finale btwn Adora and Catra are obviously sublime and tie their wonderful arc off fantastically, but in my heart of hearts that cell talk will be the crown jewel of this project. Loved seeing the LGBT message take center stage in way canon had to hold back. To paraphrase Tolkien, I'm can't count myself among those gifted people, and youve def got a target audience in mind, but if youve ever worried if your stories resonate on a quote unquote "more universal" level, I promise you can put those worries to bed. Since becoming an adult ive intentionally sought out more and more queer-inclusive/created stories and I havent regretted it a bit, and the rising tide of fascist sexist/homo/transphobic bile in politics gets more and more frightening. But I've also seen how strong and resilient LGBT people are in the face of it, empowering themselves in no small part thru stories like yours. Please don't ever give up on your art. The world needs artists like you. Sorry if I come off pretentious or condescending, I feel like that when I try to get everything I think out at once. I'll be among the first to come running if you ever start another project like this or make something on an even grander scale. Thank you a thousand times for this. Also writing a wholeass sitcom pilot based on an offhand quasi-joke I made is the most weirdly touching thing I think anyones ever done "for me" (at least nominally cuz of me), especially a stranger. So thank you for that too.
Aw, you'll make me cry, you know! I think you've understood everything I wanted to do with this strip (or at least, when I started thinking beyond just 'characters saying fuck'), and... yeah, it's been an incredible journey, both for the blog and for me personally.
I've always tried to keep the parody good-natured. You can often tell, particularly in parody, when the creator dislikes one particular character (I mean, Horde Prime was probably the exception here), but I love all of them, so it really comes from a place of love. It's quite odd because I never set out to "fix" the show, and I wouldn't want to, but some things I've done seem to have had such an impact that a lot of people think I have done just that.
The Glimmer/Catra conversation is absolutely one of my favourite things I've written from this. It's such a pivotal moment in both their stories and character development, and I am truly humbled that multiple people have called it 'better than canon'. Like... I'm just some person trying to be funny and occasionally serious, and people are saying something I wrote is better than what a team of experienced professional writers did? Give over, no... But it's still a moment I can be proud of.
I won't be stopping writing things. This whole blog has given me a new lease of life and something to aim towards. I've got an excellent pilot script pretty much finished, and I do want to bring Hellspawn up to that standard too (thank you for suggesting someone make a Sweary Frosta sitcom - I'm someone!). That may well involve a complete re-write, but I'll be sure to share it.
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your kind words along the way. It really keeps me going :)
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agentrouka-blog · 1 year
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My favourite thing when anons want to stir trouble is that like, inevitably they have consistent misspelling habits which mean you know exactly who it is sending repeat asks. So unself-aware.
Anyway, I do think there is a balanced path between the text and what the author says. GRRM's comments about Sansa are about as light as they could come. I love when people want to ungenerously frame the debate as if she's tantamount to Tyrian or Daenerys, come on. Girl took a steak knife to see a drunken knight in the godswood. The most harm she's going to inflict is driving Jon crazy with the incest. I'm trying to be lighthearted here.
Anyway, Rouka, what's your opinion on author vs. text? How much is too much, relying on the former? On the other hand, with the Daenerys is a tragic hero fandom, there's a lot of outright twisting of the text. Does relying on the author's comments provide some clarity or just make the conversation harder, since one would want to reason based on the text? Thank you for your time and your graceful handling of us terrible anons 🥰
(The posts referenced: one and two)
(I'm chronically bad at recognizing these individuall spelling patterns. Unless they make it obvious, every anon is a newborn dawn to me.)
Hello and thank you!
For me, the actual text of the books should always be central when it comes to actually analyzing the books. (You know. Obviously.) Interviews can be nice, but should be absolutely optional to any of it. If you NEED an interview to support your position, you're not analyzing the text.
Perhaps I am biased because I can't be bothered to follow GRRM interviews, let alone dig up ancient ones - unless I am feeling especially motivated.
But also, most of the time we don't have a lot of good context for GRRM's quotes. How exactly a question was phrased, what direction the conversation went before it, how distracted or rushed was GRRM when answering, how likely is it he actually managed to get across exactly what he meant, and how easily can it get twisted around? Who edited and published it? Worse, did it go through a translation process?
Take the "Aragorn's Tax Policy" quote that still has people frothing at the mouth. People hear him mention Tolkien and lose all sense of nuance. No, he's not describing how his endgame king will be elected on his tax plan. He's giving context for parts of ADWD. That's it. Still people wail about what an evil hypocrite GRRM supposedly is because Bran was crowned king in the show without a single published treatise on his taxation policy.
Same with some commentary on the show, specifically Dany with Drogo. I've had people in my Inbox arguing for Rhaegar/Lyanna because GRRM is obviously okay with adult men preying on teenaged girls based on that interview. Which... you know, actually read Dany's chapters? Please?
The books, on the other hand, were not blathered out in a hurry. They are not a commentary on a text, they are the text. A labor of many hours of writing, editing, rewriting and more editing. They are complete and fully intentional in their form. They are the message.
So, while I admire how someone who knows what they are doing is able to create a brilliant body of supporting evidence on book content by compiling quotes in a meaningful way, often with good sources and context - looking at you here, @kellyvela - these lovely metas should never be considered necessary to understanding the text, and they should certainly neither replace nor supercede it. They augment the experience of it.
Knowing GRRM approved on the Meereenese Blot essays is nice.
But you don't need to know them, nor what GRRM thinks of them, in order to arrive at the same conclusion.
Knowing GRRM agrees with the statement that "Brienne is Sansa with a sword" is nice.
But you need never have heard of that quote in order to understand the similarities between these two idealistic, dutiful female characters.
He called Tyrion a villain, which is nice.
But you can arrive at that same conclusion by reading the books.
On the other hand, you can take one quote about the Key Five Characters from a decades-old outline that deviates from established plot in multiple significant instances, and then try and justify dismissing the importance of other characters. You just need to ignore the published text in order to do it!
So I just can't take that anon seriously when they gesture wildly at some quote about Sansa while ignoring the way it's entirely contradicted by the actual body of the text.
And if some members of the fandom have a habit of very selectively reading the text then this makes their analysis suspect, so what's really the point of arguing with someone who isn't really interested in analysis in the first place?
If "she burned a slave alive" or "she is ordering her servant to please her sexually" or "she condons torture even while she knows its useless" or "she ordered the murder of children" isn't going to convince them, an interview snippet isn't going to do it, either.
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lonicera-edulis · 2 months
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Yknow how in isekai it's always truck-kun who isekai's the protagonists? Who or what would isekai the hobbit characters :0 (also, saw a reverse isekai au drawing and i think it was you, but i have horrible memory aH. But it was very cute :D)
I am afraid I didn't watch much of isekai stuff (it must be a big thing for anime and I don't watch anime, so I am unaware of truck-kun thing; and for other stuff I can only mention The 10th Kingdom or Voyage of the Unicorn and suchlike stuff where it is usually some magical portals/vehicles between two worlds).
• In my first reverse isekai AU I thought that the characters just went though invisible barrier that got broken for some reason (I don't know what reason yet and if it is even needed to be explained in the story).
I will put the rest to make post shoter as usual and if anyone is interested in these at all since I already kinda answered your question.
Before that I need to explain that these forms of characters are not them originally, but reincarnated or after-life forms, and they live in secluded places where modern Men can't get to. And thus Bilbo would be lured (by a distant song through the forest) from the after-life place of the hobbits, and dwarves would dig from below (in legendarium it is said that dwarves digged deep uderground and they were never seen again; could be that they also got instinct, while hobbits were hunted down, but I made it so that dwarves just lived all these eras very deep in earth).
I had some sketch for the beginning actually (from summer 2022 when I only got into fandom). This is how Bilbo reunited with his dwarves, but no one of them remembers their past lives, and they will be finding some puzzles while trying to get back to their homes.
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I even made a rough draft of a map, need to redraw it some day to look pleasant. The other thing I like in this AU is that Gimli and Legolas are already in this modern world (made Gimli immortal, ok, I can't separate him and Lego, they are a set now forever; and elves were allowed to return to this world, but with a good set of rules for them to live among humans; plus Thranduil never left the place, imagine how cranky he has become after living through so many years and not having 'elven therapy'). Also in my mind (yet) there is just a such bittersweet scene between Gloin and Gimli (because this time Gimli wasn't born to him). This AU is actually a huge thing because I could still focus on a big story with many characters, unlike current time (I need to patch my mental health up first to continue working on any of my AUs).
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• My second reverse isekai AU is where only Bilbo appears in a modern world. (Here is a first sketch explaning about dwarves in this world and elves are like in a previous one.)
Here it is his after life form, put in earth (under the oak, heh) to sleep until the end of times. Thorin digs him out accidentely, and Bilbo then is 'reintroduced' to all of The Company. There will be problems of course, since he is supposed to slumber and modern world is kinda depressing him, but all my stories have good ends as usual.
Also in none of these stories there is a good explanation why all these characters meet each other again and again, and not living new lives with new people. Can only explain it by their connections from past lives, although it can be not in favor to some who will decide to check on these AUs.
• I had an isekai AU too actually, where Bilbo is a writer, and gets into his own story he is writing. Not sure I will elaborate further on this idea though.
And these are just my alternatives for modern AUs, so they are imperfect and silly of course. Breaking many rules of Tolkien/'movieverse in some cases too' world (I do like when there is maximum of original rules, although I myself can't keep them in my head when thinking of AUs), and making up some unexplainable nonsense. So don't take them serious.
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lesbiansforboromir · 9 months
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SPOILERS FOR LOTRO's KING'S GONDOR AND THE NEW BOOK QUESTS BUT as always I have a gripe with the major storyline, which is this mirroring of Arwen and Vidumavi. I understand the point of it, to inspire this xenophobic backlash that drives people to look to the heirs of Castamir in the first place and give us a reason to go to Umbar and I also get that the whole concept of middle men vs high men vs men of darkness has been somewhat scrubbed from the game's concepts of race and racism but STILL I JUST... Gondor didn't disapprove of Vidumavi because she was nebulously 'foreign'!!!
She was of a 'lesser' race of men, the movement against her in Gondor was a eugenicist one, they did not want to 'soil' the line of the kings with lesser blood that might incur issues like smaller life spans. This was an upper class southern dunadain issue! And in-text, Tolkien says essentially 'no don't worry, dunadain blood is stronger so it didnt effect their lifespans', as if we need that reassurance! As if the concerns were justified and needed to be assuaged for us! And Arwen, being both an elf of royal descent and literally the niece of Numenor's founder, is just fundamentally not the same.
Eldarion and Eldacar are not in the same position of mixed 'lesser' blood, the introduction of Arwen into the King's line is meant to 'reinvigorate it', what is the beef that gondorians have for her? If the common gondorian populace was looking for a 'foreign' figure to insight their ire, then why isn't Aragorn himself a target? He is just as foreign as Arwen is, both geographically and racially. The rohirrim are a descent of Vidumavi's people, why isn't Eowyn an issue?
If we're going for a mistrust of elves as the root cause, well that's also an issue for me since Gondorians do not need to call upon xenophobic prejudice to have an issue with elves. Couldn't their worry be the precise opposite? It has been a long time since Gondor was a majority dunadain country, most if not all people are 'middle men' by SOME descent, and now here we are with a 'pure' dunadain king whom was born to an isolationist cult that spurned the company of the common folk and associated mostly with the high-beauty eldar.
What will these new rulers think about their subjects? How will this effect their politics, their plans? Aragorn is no Steward he has all the rights of a King including the DIVINE right, what will such a glut of power be used to do? And how will a previously-immortal queen relate to her very mortal subjects? These are all very pertinent questions, especially considering that Gondor was expecting Boromir 'the rohirrim are true and valiant, our allies' II to rule them once Denethor was gone. It's a big and unexpected shift towards Dunadain and elven supremacy for Gondor, would that not inspire political concern?
Like here;
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Aithil mentions that an elven sense of superiority over humans is something she has encountered! Which could be a lie, if it wasn't for the player having been through in-game Lothlorien and witnessed the way elves treated Nona. So it just kind of feels like an a-historical loss to position Arwen as recieving the same animosity as Vidumavi, relegating it to undeserved bigotry when the issue of elven superiority is real and believed by many characters, including Aragorn himself! And also minimising the bigotry Vidumavi and her children suffered to just 'oh they just didn't like foreign people', there was a very specific reason they did not like her!! It frustrates me.
Though admittedly I understand LOTRO can't go too far into these issues, lest Aragorn's kingship begin to look a little less like a beautiful and noble thing that will bring peace and happiness to all middle earth. And in any case I want to go to Umbar so whatever it takes to get me there comrades, I'll kiss Aragorn on his dumbass baby head if I have too. BUT STILL!! I wish there had been some other way to do that.
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Eucatastrophe and Doctor Who
I have probably had this post sitting in my drafts folder since like 2014, but I think I'm finally going to finish it now for a bit of a belated Moffat Appreciation Day 2022. When I was originally writing this post I was thinking of this concept in regards to New Who as a whole at the time, but I think that I would like to instead focus on on specific story in Moffat's era now that I have had the chance to get a firmer grip on both the concept of eucatastrophe and the overall tone of both Davies and Moffat's eras.
So first of all, the concept of "eucatastrophe" was discussed by JRR Tolkien as being "the sudden happy turn in a story which pierces you with a joy that brings tears". Tolkien also argues that this effect of eucatastrophe is "the highest function of fairy-stories to produce".
Essentially, it is a point in the story where all hope seems lost but then out of that hopelessness, something magnificent occurs. To be clear, a eucatastrophe is not necessarily a straight forward happy ending and it also isn't necessarily without tragic elements. It almost requires them, actually.
I think the absolute clearest, though not the only example, of Moffat using this same concept is in "World Enough and Time/The Doctor Falls".
Right from the start in this story the doctor, Bill, Missy, and Nardole discover that they have entered into a situation that is incredibly fraught with tension. It quickly deteriorates with Bill being shot and moved away from the main group, casting her into extremis, as the episode might call it. But even in the deep pits of the ship, Bill remains hopeful and full of goodness. She believes and hopes that the Doctor will come for her. And he does. But as we all know, he is too late by mere hours to save her from what appears to all the characters to be a hopeless situation from then on.
And the situation only deteriorates further with the unveiling of the Master and the plans of the Cybermen. By the time we get to The Doctor Falls, the story has so many tragic elements to it that it is difficult to see how it could have an outcome that is anything but tragic. The Cybermen are not primarily trying to conquer, simply trying to survive under horrible, inescapable conditions on a ship far too close to a black hole. Without access to the TARDIS, the doctor can do nothing for the villagers aside from buy them time. Missy's entire arc of growth is under threat of totally unraveling due to the appearance of her former self, and Bill is utterly trapped as a Cyberman. Oh, and the doctor is dying but holding back his regeneration so that he can help everyone else survive this desperate situation as best as he can.
The fleeting moments of hope offered in this episode are also almost all either snuffed out very quickly (such as when Missy chooses to stand with the Doctor, solidifying her arc, but is quickly taken out by her former self, leaving them both to die) or seem like they are nearly foolish to hope for at all given the circumstances (the doctor is given a small degree of hope by Bill's crying real tears as a Cyberman). The most realistic hope that they have and what the doctor, nardole, and Bill are working towards for most of the episode is the hope of moving the villagers a few floors up and slowing down the cybermen, even if they can't stop them for good. This small kindness is what the doctor's whole speech to the master and missy is about. He knows he can't win. He knows he is trapped and will die here. But he is going to do what he thinks is right regardless, without hope, without witness, without reward. Bill by this point has also lost all hope that she can be saved and make it out of this tragedy and she plans to go down fighting the Cybermen as well alongside the Doctor because she doesn't want to live if she can't be herself.
However, as dreadful as all that may be, the absolute most hopeless and tragic part of the episode comes when the doctor appears to have died in the explosion that takes out most of the Cybermen, choosing not to regenerate. He utters possibly the saddest line the doctor has ever said and the next time we see him, Bill has found his body in the wasteland left behind by the explosion. Bill is in complete and utter despair at this point, crying over the doctor's body, looking up at the "sky" (really the top of the ship) practically begging, nearly praying for help with her tears. She has nothing in this moment. There is nothing she can do and as far as she knows there is no help coming.
But then, suddenly, help does come. At the point where the episode reaches peak despair, a corner is turned. Bill is saved by virtue of exactly the doctor's earlier foolish hope. Her tears have called Heather to her and Heather takes Bill from the cybersuit and reforms her, giving her new life and even the choice to be human again in the future if she wants. They save the doctor and bring him back to his TARDIS and while it is unclear to them whether he will survive, Bill continues to hope that she will see him again and leaves him her tears as a reminder of that hope.
When I first watched this episode, I very much experienced the feeling that Tolkien describes in his definition of eucatastrophe. Bill had been through so much that seeing her be saved by Heather and save the Doctor in turn brought me to tears. I mean, I was already in tears because of the peak despair moment, but these were different tears. They were hopeful, nearly joyful. And something that solidified the way I feel about this story was Moffat's later interview where he says quite plainly that "Doctor Who is a big hearted, optimistic show that believes in kindness and love and that wisdom will triumph in the end. I don’t believe it’s the kind of show that says there are bitter, twisted, nasty endings because it’s not. It’s not gritty; it’s aspirational. It says, ‘It can work. And wisdom and kindness will triumph. And love will always come through in the end.’ I think there aren’t enough people or enough shows saying that and I’m damned if Doctor Who is going to join in with the general chorus of despair."
Moffat masterfully managed to produce the "highest function of fairy-stories" in this episode. It is a masterpiece of emotion, tragedy, ethics, and hope against despair and even 5 1/2 years later I still cry about this episode every time I think of it. We need more stories with these kinds of endings in the world.
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