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tsvkishma · 3 years

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you wanna kiss me so bad, huh?

series: my hero academia / boku no hero academia

pairings: katsuki bakugo x reader

length: 5k words

warnings: swearing, mentions of making out (w/ a minor), breach of privacy??

tags: secret relationship, enemies to lovers, high school AU, reader-insert

summary: the mutual agreement between you and your bf to keep your relationship on the DL is about to be ruined when he makes the stupid mistake to leave his phone on the table for the whole class to see

author’s note: i’m so sorry! i really tried to make it gender neutral, but it was female leaning... i apologize! i’m still pretty new to writing dis homie so please be lenient when it comes to character accuracy lol. i also apologize for the messy, unstructured writing. also thank u to bae @izvkos for proofreading!

Just as you were getting ready to doze off, the school bell rang, startling you and making you jerk up from your comfortable position on the desk with your head in your arms. Some of your classmates got up to stretch, since it was the break time between classes. Unfortunately, it had only been the end of third period and you had a long school day to go through. You let out a low groan of disappointment. I guess I’ll have to keep myself awake just a little bit longer.

To be honest, you didn’t mean to stay up all night... it was just that you couldn’t help binge-watching your favorite show last night. You convinced yourself that you were only going to watch one episode before you went to sleep... then one lead to two... then three... and then before you knew it, the birds started chirping. But, hey! It wasn’t your fault that it was so addicting!

“Oi.”

You look up to see Bakugo peering over you with his hands in his pockets and a smirk on his face, “Tch, you don’t look so good today. Didn’t get enough sleep? How are you gonna be a pro hero with those bad habits of yours?”

You scoffed, “Oh, fuck off. Sorry I don’t go to sleep at 8 every night… grandpa.”

“Yeah, yeah. Make fun of me all you want, but who’s gonna be laughing when you fail your exams next week. I see you dozing off in class, you act like Aizawa-sensei doesn’t even notice,” Bakugo grunts.

You coo, “Awe, is blasty-boy watching me during class? I didn’t know you were this deeply in love with me! So cute.”

His face went red for a moment before his usual angry expression returned, “I DON’T HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU DAMMIT! I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR STUPID CRAP LIKE THAT!”

“Y/n! Stop teasing Bakugo like that! You know he can’t handle it...” Mina chimed in, joining the fun.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T HANDLE IT?! ” screamed Bakugo.

“Quiet down back there.,” threatened Cementoss as he entered the class to prepare his next lesson.

You and Mina were just laughing at your classmate screaming his head off, it was always an amusing sight if anything. Even though Bakugo denies having a crush on you, it wasn’t true. And you knew that. He had a fat crush on you, but it was more than that! He was your boyfriend.

You guys had kept your relationship on the down-low for about a month now, your relationship only became official about a week ago, but you guys had been going on dates prior. Bakugo wanted to keep your relationship a secret, you know, to protect his ego or whatever since there has always been a rivalry between the two of you and everyone in Class 1-A was painfully aware of it. He was too proud to let anyone know that he fell for someone he once vouched as his enemy.

There was always constant bickering between the two of you. Whether it be something minute or something that you would argue over for a couple of days. It’s not like the arguments were unintentional because they were started just to spite the other. Bickering would start about each other’s fighting technique in battle or even accusing the other of stealing their food from the shared fridge in the dorms.

The rest of your class was so sick and tired of the ongoing feud so one day, they set out a plan (led by Kaminari and Kirishima) to lock you two in a room just to sort out your differences. They set a date where they would trick you two into thinking that there was a class activity that everyone had to attend, but it would just be you two to show up and you would smash the beef between you two, and BOOM! Problem solved.

Just as the day came for the plan, something was weirdly off about you two. The morning of, you two both came into class at the same time and it was dead silent between you two. No bickering, no petty comments, and no evil stares. As more and more people were arriving, they would immediately notice the weird tension in the air. It was strangely quiet, not just because you and Bakugo were silent, but because everyone else was too. The thought of you guys not constantly at each other’s necks that morning sort of put off the rest of the class. It felt weird to talk over the dead silence when they were so used to your guys’ voices as ambiance while they were in conversation.

As the day went on, nothing changed and you guys were still silent and ignoring each other. Obviously, everyone was suspicious about what exactly happened between you two to make you ignore one another. There was no way that you guys were angry at each other because when you were, both of you made it clear by arguing and yelling loudly.

However, before anyone had the chance to ask why you guys were so quiet, Bakugo decided to approach you for the first time between class periods. At this point, the class was back to normal and having regular conversations with one another during break time, but all of their eyes were on you two, and their voices hushed to pay attention to the tense interaction shared between you two.

“Oi. Let’s talk,” said Bakugo bluntly.

You looked up at his crimson red eyes for a second before looking away as if his presence wasn’t even there. At this point, you didn’t know what to say to him, yet. This fired up Bakugo because within a second he started yelling again.

“HEY DUMBASS! YOU DON’T GET TO IGNORE ME LIKE THAT!” he screamed.

You turned to meet his glare annoyed, “Oh, shut the fuck up. I don’t owe you shit. Leave me alone.”

He tested, “The fuck did you say to me, idiot?!”

“Fuck off, dipshit, all you ever wanna do is yell! And might I add- you do it loudly. Are you such a fucking grandpa that you can’t even hear yourself speak? Can you ever jjust shut. the. fuck. UP!” you yelled back.

The arguing continued and the rest of Class 1-A continued with their previous conversations after seeing you guys back to normal. The tension between you guys soon left their minds as they continued with the rest of their day. Unbeknownst to them, the night before you two were arguing like usual in the kitchen area of the dorms before Bakugo made his first move on you.

The argument started with you getting angry at Bakugo for making a mess on the counter after spilling some of his water. It was late at night and no one else was around and you two happened to wake up around the same time to get a drink of water.

“You idiot, clean up your fucking mess. You spilled it all over the counter,” you said as you gestured to the spilled water.

“Tch. I didn’t spill shit. If it bothers you so much, why don’t you go clean it up yourself?” he groaned as he leaned against the counter.

Appalled, you grabbed the roll of paper towels and threw it at his head. He was caught off guard as the roll of paper hit his forehead. It fell and rolled out onto the floor. Now, he was truly annoyed.

“Fuck was that for, huh?!” he said staring at you, smoke practically coming out of his ears.

You laughed, “Just giving you a hand since it seemed like you were too fucking lazy to grab the paper towels yourself. Seems like the grandpa’s getting too old to do stuff for himself, boohoo.”

He growled, rage evident in his face. You laughed to yourself looking away from his face. The next thing you knew, he grabbed you by the shoulders and pushed you against the fridge behind you. You were pinned by his big, rough hands and he was closer to your face than usual, yet still enraged.

You tried to wiggle out of his grip, but it was useless, “Let go of me, idiot! You need to learn how to take a fucking joke.”

He didn’t respond, but he kept his eyes on your face. You tried moving away, but now his grip on your shoulders tightened, making your breath hitch.

“What the fuck is your problem? You want me to say sorry or something? Did the paper towel knock the fucking sense out of you? Let me go!” you argued.

“What happened to all your fucking hero training? Can’t get out of my grip, huh? How pathetic,” he growled in a low tone.

You felt his eyes piercing into your own and it was making you a little bit uncomfortable. He’s never been physical with you, even with the constant bickering between you guys. This was a side of him you’ve never seen.

You started, “Look, did I hurt your feelings or something? Did I hit you really hard on the head? There’s no point in holding me against the fridge. Plus, the handle is kind of hurting my back-”

“Shut up,” he stated plainly.

He looked away, avoiding eye contact with you. Okay.... suspicious much...

You tried moving once again, then he pulled you up from the fridge only to slam you back against it, but this time harder.

“Why can’t you just fucking stay still?!” he started yelling.

“Ow! Because you’re being a fucking weirdo! There’s something fucking wrong with you, it’s starting to creep me out! What the fuck are your intentions anyway, huh?!” you argued back.

His calmness fading, he yelled back, “SHUT THE FUCK UP! ALL YOU EVER DO IS GET ON MY FUCKING NERVES LIKE YOU KNOW EVERY FUCKING THING IN THE WORLD!”

His face was inching closer and closer to your face with each word pouring from his mouth. You smirked at this.

You laughed, teasing, “Oh, you wanna kiss me so bad, huh?”

He immediately froze after hearing that sentence spill from your mouth and avoided eye contact yet again. Oddly enough, he returned to his calmer self... If you didn’t know any better, it was obvious that that sentence held some truth with him.

“Look just-”

Before you could finish your sentence, his lips crashed onto yours. Your eyes shot wide open at the shock of the situation. Bakugo Katsuki fucking kissed you... Bakugo Katsuki. The Bakugo Katsuki who always argued with you. The Bakugo Katsuki who always got on your nerves. THAT Bakugo Katsuki.

Taking you away from your thoughts, he pulled away from the kiss. He examined your face for your reaction, but you were frozen in place with your eyes shot wide open. You didn’t know what to do, as if you were a computer and you were going through some code that you weren’t programmed to handle. He looked away and scoffed at himself, mumbling.

“Of course, she didn’t fucking like that, idiot...” he mumbled.

His grip on you loosened and his hands were brought to his side and he couldn’t bear to look at you in the face again. Breaking from your frozen state, you focused your eyes on him. He pulled his face away from your point of view and was scratching his neck in embarrassment and you could notice the light blush spread on his cheeks. You felt a little tug on your heart that you’ve never felt before when looking at him. At that moment, he was just so freaking cute.

Mentally telling yourself that you’re gonna regret this later, you grabbed his face in your hands and pulled him closer to you again. Your lips locked with his and you closed your eyes to bask in the moment. Only this time, Bakugo’s eyes were shot wide open, but only for a second. Relief soon spread across his face and his eyes rested on your waist, pulling you closer.

Both of you guys wanted nothing more than to stay in that moment forever, the rivalry between you two completely non-existent. As all good things must come to an end, you pulled away from him and your eyes made contact for a second before you both looked away, blushing. Realization soon hit you and you didn’t know what to do next.

“I-”

“Uh-”

You guys stuttered at the same time, making eye contact for a second before looking away. The atmosphere between the two of you was confusing. Before you could think of another thing to say, he spoke up first.

“Good night,” he said.

He walked away swiftly and turned the corner to the hallway towards his dorm. You stood for a few seconds not knowing what to think. You released the breath that you didn’t realize you were holding in and proceeded to walk towards your dorm room. Leaving the kitchen a bit of a mess for the night.

The next day it was Kaminari who was blamed for leaving the paper towel on the floor and some spilled water on the counter. Poor boy.

Now, the relationship that you had with ‘blasty-boy’ would probably seem complicated and confusing in the eyes of others, but you two were pretty content with where you guys were at. There was an unspoken agreement that you would keep your relationship under wraps. You knew how Bakugo always tried to upkeep his ego of being the best. You’ve always assumed that he didn’t want anyone to know he had a soft spot for you. And you didn’t necessarily mind not sharing your relationship out in the open, anyway. I mean, you guys only just made your relationship official, but it was a little hard to keep your mouth shut when you desperately wanted to gush about him with the other girls of Class 1-A.

Although, you guys have managed to maintain the rivalry between you guys in front of the others. It’s not like you guys were faking it, though. Only now, you guys saw it as fun, meaningless banter and meant nothing by it. The few times that you’ve got to spend with Bakugo alone were completely different from when you would be with him as a group.

On one of your more recent dates, he invited you to watch a movie in his dorm room and he was so adamant about keeping you close to him throughout the movie. At one point in the night, you tried to get up to use the restroom real quick and his arm around your waist pulled you back down, making you fall onto his lap and you stared up at him. He ignored you and stared at the laptop screen.

“Uh... I need to go pee. Let me go, please?” you smiled up at him.

He gave you a glance and reverted his stare to the screen again, “No.”

“What do you mean no? I drank so much water because the popcorn was too salty... come on. You want me to pee on you or something?” you joked.

He laughed, “So, what if I do?”

You sat up and his gaze finally met yours and his signature smirk was plastered on his face.

You grabbed one of his pillows and hit him with it, “Ew, you’re so fucking gross! I’m going.”

He laughed and finally allowed you to leave, but rest assured, he snuggled up with you when you came back.

Right now, you were hanging with the rest of your class in the common room. On Fridays, you guys all agreed to a movie night after a long week of classes. You were sitting with the rest of the girls, settled between Momo and Mina. The movie hasn’t started yet since everyone was starting to get comfortable and settled in. A few of your classmates were grabbing popcorn and other snacks in the kitchen while the rest of you guys were just chatting. Somehow, the conversation between the girls evolved into talking about relationships.

“Oh my god! There was this really cute guy that I accidentally bumped into at lunch and apparently he’s a third-year! I hope I bump into him again, he was seriously cute,” gushed Mina.

“That’s so cute, Mina! I wish I had, like, ANY romantic interactions. My life’s so boring...” groaned Ochaco.

“Same,” said Hagakure.

The rest of the girls sort of nodded in agreement, but you just sat there sipping your juice pouch loudly.

“Y/n? You’re awfully quiet,” teased Tsu as she nudged you with her elbow.

“Well, I mean-”

“What are you ladies talking about over here, huh?” said Denki as he and the other boys inched closer to the girls to join their conversation.

Momo spoke up, “Seems like Y/n over here has a crush!”

You covered your face in embarrassment, “No I do not! It’s... uh... look we’re just... talking?”

Kirishima teased, “Awe so who’s the lucky individual?”

“Yeah, I wanna know who captured our Y/n’s heart,” laughed Sero.

“It’s no one...” you said after trying to recover after digging yourself in a deeper hole.

“Hey, Bakugo. How do you feel about Y/n’s new crush, huh? Maybe your love for her isn’t reciprocated after all...” started Kaminari before Bakugo stood from his seat on the couch and grabbed his shirt to intimidate him.

He growled, “I don’t have a crush on Y/n. How many times do I have to tell you idiots that?!”

“You’re just jealous that Y/n’s significant other is probably hotter than you!” laughed Mina.

Visibly annoyed at the situation, Bakugo walks away rolling his eyes and mumbling, “Tch. Can’t believe I go to school with a bunch of idiots...”

“Awe, can’t take it anymore? Your love for me is so strong that it pains you to listen to this conversation, huh, Bakugo?” you teased.

“Shut up. I’m going to the bathroom,” he said plainly.

The rest of your classmates on the couch got a laugh in before the topic of your potential significant other died down into smaller topics within different people. Those who were in the kitchen preparing the snacks for everyone finally came back and everyone was finding their seats around the TV and your boyfriend had yet to come back.

You pulled out your phone to text him and right as you did, Iida turned off the lights.

“Yo, Y/n. Turn off your phone it’s too bright and the movie’s about to start,” nudged Mina.

You apologized, “Sorry. I’ll turn it off in a minute I just need to text someone.”

You pulled up your boyfriend’s text log and typed in a message for him:

yo blasty boy why arent u back from the bathroom the movies starting

...also i saved u a seat next to me so we can cuddle (lowkey of course hehe)

After sending those two messages, you put away your phone in your pocket. Everyone was concentrated on the movie and you set your attention on the TV screen until...

PING PING

A phone on the coffee table lit up brightly while making two loud notification pings. Everyone lost focus on the movie and looked over at the phone on the table. No doubt that it was your grandpa of a boyfriend’s phone pinging. Before you could do something, Kirishima grabbed it.

“Who the hell didn’t turn off their ringer? And why is it so damn loud..” laughed Sero.

Kirishima’s eyes scanned his phone for a quick second before his eyes widened and he covered his mouth in surprise.

“Holy shit! Bakugo has a girlfriend!” yelled Kirishima.

You couldn’t help but cover your face in your blanket... Bakugo was about to be so mad at you. Your secret would be out and honestly, you were glad, but you know that your boyfriend didn’t want anyone to find out anytime soon. At least, not like this.

Everyone turned to Kirishima, suddenly losing interest in the movie playing in front of them.

“Oh my god, you’re joking!” squealed Yaoyorozu.

Ojiro claimed, “There’s no way that Bakugo has a girlfriend. Not that hothead.”

“Bro, I’m not joking! And guess what... it’s someone in this room!” exclaimed Kirishima.

Everyone starts looking around the class, silently accusing their classmates of being the culprit.

“Look what they said: ‘also i saved u a seat next to me so we can cuddle‘! Someone better start speaking upppppp!” said Kaminari teasingly as he got the phone from the red-haired boy.

“So, who is it?” grinned Ochako.

Sero peeked at the phone in Kirishima’s hands, “There’s no name, it just says ‘dumbass’. That’s so like Bakugo.”

You sighed in relief. You didn’t know that Bakugo didn’t have your contact as your actual name.

“G-guys! I don’t think Kacchan would want us to go through his phone...” protested Midoriya.

“Midoriya is right! This is not respectful behavior, we should respect our classmate’s privacy,” Iida said matter-of-factly.

Kaminari replied, “Aw, come on you guys are no fun! It’s harmless, anyway! If it really is someone in our class, we were bound to find out! It’s inevitable!”

You grab the phone from him and said, “Wow, Kaminari, I didn’t know you had the vocabulary capacity for the word inevitable! Now, let me see this...”

Lo and behold, your messages were shown on the screen under the name ‘dumbass’. You tried to analyze the situation and how you could use this small sliver of anonymity to your advantage. You concluded that just trying to play off the situation would be the best thing to do-

“Woah, woah, woah. What’s that as Bakugo’s wallpaper?” said Mina as she slowly grabbed the phone from your hands.

Right then, a horror scene played out right in front of your eyes. As everyone was standing crowded around the phone (whether they agreed with peering through your boyfriend’s phone or not), they were looking at the brightly-lit device in the pink girl’s hands and she deleted the notifications to show his very-telling wallpaper… you could say there was a slight miscalculation in your plan as you failed to notice earlier that his wallpaper was the two of you... making out.

You couldn’t bear to look at what was on his phone as everyone let out their gasps. It was too embarrassing, everyone seeing such an intimate moment on your boyfriend’s phone. Bakugo had taken that picture on a whim one night when you two were having one of your movie nights. When he did that, you were shocked because there was no way that Bakugo took pictures of himself ever. Honestly, you were shocked to see that he knew how to take a selfie. Nonetheless, you peeked through your fingers at the phone in Mina’s hand just for a bit.

To your surprise, he set the wallpaper to LIVE MODE. Live mode...... Everyone was watching you guys make out in action like it was a fucking movie.

That motherfucker...

The silence of realization was then disrupted as the girls let out their squeals and the whole class was causing a commotion while the boys high-fived each other as if they won a competition or something. Everyone was up and moving, a strong contrast from them mere minutes ago when they were lounging around on the couch and floor. Sero was shaking your shoulders as you covered your face in your hands. Your face was heating up from all the embarrassment and you couldn’t bear to look at any of your classmates after what they just witnessed.

You didn’t know what to think. Half of you were completely embarrassed that your friends just saw you in an embarrassing scenario and half of you were angry at Bakugo because this was all his fault! Who the fuck puts such an intimate moment as their wallpaper?! Why not something cute? And of course, it had to be a live photo…

You finally peered through your hands again to see the scene in front of you. Mina was laughing so hard on the couch that she was on the verge of tears.

“I CAN’T BREATHE! NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS WOULD I EVER EXPECT THIS SHIT!” she cried.

Most of the boys were still jumping up and down like some monkeys due to the sheer excitement and energy in the room. Uraraka walked up to you and smiled widely while placing her hands firmly on your shoulders.

“Wow! Who would’ve thought that you and Bakugo were a thing! I honestly didn’t see that coming… sorry that we all had to find out that way. I was a little too absorbed in the excitement to consider how you felt,” said the round-faced girl.

With your face still red, you said, “Don’t worry about it… it was bound to happen soon enough, right? Although, now I’m a little embarrassed, but I guess I’m kind of relieved that I don’t have to put much effort into hiding our relationship anymore.”

Yaoyorozu chimed in, “Honestly, this is more entertaining than the movie we were just watching!”

You laughed along with the other girls who were nearby. On the other side of the room, the boys were making a train throughout the room and singing.

“Uh, y/n,” interrupted Asui, “Look.”

The man-of-the-hour walked in the room with his hands in his pockets with his usual grumpy expression. He stopped to examine the room and stared quietly at the energetic group of boys.

He scoffed, “What are you nerds doing? Why aren’t you guys watching the fucking movie, huh?”

He looked around the room until his eyes met yours and you quickly looked away, which caught his attention. Your mind was racing a mile a minute trying to think of an excuse. Your gaze averted to the ground, but you could hear his footsteps heading your way.

“Since when did your socks suddenly get so interesting that you can’t look me in the eyes?” teased Bakugo.

He brought his hand up to your chin and lifted your face to meet his gaze. His playful smirk instantly dropped once he saw your expression. Your eyes were borderline teary and seemed lost, like a sad puppy.

He whispered so that only you could hear, “Baby… what’s up?”

You wanted to give in to his touch at that very moment and run into his arms, but you resisted because you knew that it would be too selfish given how you just broke your guys’ agreement. You didn’t deserve to be in his embrace right now, he was seconds away from finding out that your guys’ secret came out accidentally all because you sent a random text. You pulled your face away from his grip and moved away from him.

“W-wait, what-” he started.

“HEYYYYYYYYYYY, BAKUBRO!” said Kaminari and he wrapped an arm around him (much to Bakugo’s dismay), “How come you didn’t tell your buddies that you had a soft side to you, huh?”

Bakugo grunted, “What the fuck are you going on about?”

Kirishima chimed, “You know, you shouldn’t leave your phone out in the open like that… it makes you vulnerable!”

Still confused he said, ”Did worms get in your brains? We’ve been only one day off from school and you start lacking common sense?”

To his surprise, you walk up with his phone in your hand while keeping eye contact, unlike earlier.

“Sherlock, I thought you would’ve connected the dots by now,” you sighed, with a tinge of sadness behind it, “Your wallpaper… really?”

You hold up the phone up to his face and his reaction was almost humorous to you. His eyes widened and his face was painted with a light tint of pink.

For the first time in your life, you witnessed your boyfriend at a loss for words. The rest of your class watched the whole interaction and some restrained laughs were let out and they were all back to square one, laughing like maniacs. You were about to join in and laugh with them when you realized again what the situation at hand was. You were scared of how Bakugo would react since this would be the first rift in your relationship and you didn’t want to have a genuine argument with him, especially with how angry he could get. Suddenly, you felt a pair of hands grasp yours and you look up to see your boyfriend smiling at you.

“I-”

Before you could say a single word, he hauls you on his shoulder, and you yelp in surprise. You don’t know how you ended up in this position, but now you’re dangling off of him and now you’re staring at the ground. (Also, his face was dangerously close to your ass, but you didn’t mention it.) He starts walking away and away from the commotion towards his dorm room. Before you can protest, he leans his head on your body causing you to freeze up. You could feel his warmth from his body heat against your shirt.

“You know… I’m not mad at you. I could never be mad at you,” he says quietly.

Your brain took time to process that sentence… was Bakugo actually not mad? Most importantly, who knew such sweet words could come out of his mouth? You couldn’t help but breathe out a sigh of relief and you relaxed a bit.

Wanting to tease him, you said, “Sorry, you were too quiet. Could you repeat that again?”

He groaned, “I said… I’m not mad at you, I could never be.”

You giggled, “I know. I heard you the first time, but I thought my ears were deceiving me… Katsuki Bakugo is saying something nice for once? Whatttt…”

He shook you a little, “Forget it. You didn’t hear anything.”

Raising yourself a little, you patted your boyfriend on the head, “Nope. Remembering that phrase forever and ever.”

“Whatever.”

You smiled, “Whatever!”

2K notes · View notes

oddarin · 4 years

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It is one of the most meaningless thing I’ve done in time - all least-to-most ranks and just characters’ fact answers (those that with no pictures) from oficial Ask Arcana gathered in one place. Have no idea what that information could be used for and if it even useful but it kept me occupied and distracted from some life shit for a while, so let it be.

who is most to least likely to enjoy the movie Frozen? Lucio, Portia, Julian, Asra, Muriel, Nadia

Out of the cast, who is the most to least likely to be the jealous type? Portia, Lucio, Muriel & Nadia (tied), Julian, Asra

would you like to rank the characters from who cries most to least ugly? like from sniveling to shoujo manga tears? Muriel, Lucio, Julian, Portia, Asra, Nadia

who is the most to least superstitious Portia, Julian, Nadia, Lucio, Asra, Muriel

most to least excited to be at a WWE event Portia, Lucio, Asra, Julian, Nadia, Muriel

From worst to best at handling children Nadia, Lucio, Muriel, Asra, Portia, Julian

From worst to best for alcohol tolerance Muriel, Asra, Lucio, Julian, Portia, Nadia

Character ranking from best at keeping secrets to loose-liped gossip? Asra, Muriel, Nadia, Lucio, Portia, Julian

best to worst dancers? Asra, Portia, Julian, Nadia, Lucio, Muriel

Most to Least likely to slap you for stealing a mcnugget Nadia, Lucio, Asra, Portia, Julian, Muriel

Least to most likely to eat something weird (read: probably shouldn't be eaten) because of a dare? Nadia, Julian, Muriel, Lucio, Portia, Asra and not even on a dare

how old are each of the revealed characters? everyone is old, but in order of least old to most old: Asra, Portia, Muriel, Julian, Lucio, Nadia

Who's the best kisser? Who's the worst? Best kisser: Faust (good snake smooches) Worst kissers: Mercedes and Melchior (too much cronch)

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If the main 6 played MTG what color decks would they play? Asra: Blue Nadia: White Julian: Black (Portia made his for him) Portia: White/Green Muriel: Green Lucio: Red

How did cast look as babies? Nadia: The best baby, perfect in form and function Asra: A cute baby, always looking around Julian: Not the most handsome baby, a little gangly Portia: Round, squealing delightful baby Lucio: Red-faced screaming awful baby Muriel: Sturdy and well insulated for the long winter

Of the main six characters, which ones are capable of juggling and which ones would absolutely love doing needlepoint? capable of juggling: Portia, Asra, Muriel absolutely love doing needlepoint: Nadia, Julian incapable of juggling/ absolutely hate doing needlepoint: Lucio

what would the cast choose as their job in the mmo final Fantasy XIV? Julian: Dragoon Asra: Astrologian Lucio: Ninja, but he messes up the mudras Nadia: Machinist Portia: Summoner Muriel: Paladin

What would be the favorite attractions/rides of the cast at Disney? Julian: Pirates of the Caribbean Asra: Astro Orbiter Lucio: Tower of Terror (RIP) Muriel: Matterhorn Portia: California Screamin' Nadia: Carousel of Progress

What do the rest of the cast smell like? Nadia: Les Larmes Sacree Du Thebes by Baccarat Asra: Lord of Misrule Lush Shower Cream Julian: Leather seats in a rental car Portia: Cocoa butter and laundry soap Lucio: Fireball, Axe body spray & ass Muriel: myrrh

What board game would The Arcana gang be? Nadia: Clue Asra: Twister Julian: Sorry! Portia: Mouse Trap Lucio: Monopoly Muriel: Guess Who

Who do all the cast main in over watch? Nadia: Ana Asra: Sombra Julian: Reaper Portia: Zarya Muriel: Bastion Lucio: Genji

If everyone participated in a Winter Olympic sport, which one would they be in? Nadia: figure skate (singles) Asra: snowboarding Julian: alpine ski Portia: freestyle ski Muriel: luge Lucio: ice hockey

Main casts Starbucks orders? Julian: Black coffee and he flirts with the barista until it’s ready. Nadia: London Fog Latte. She comes in at exactly 8 every morning. Asra: Matcha latte unless there’s a new radioactive-looking Frappuccino flavor and then he gets that. Muriel: Waiting outside in the car, asks Asra to get him a water. Asra comes back with a hot chocolate and a cake pop. Muriel grumbles but accepts them every time. Lucio: Salted Caramel Mocha extra whip extra sprinkles nonfat no foam soy upside down actually coconut milk instead and then he yells at you if you get it wrong. Portia: Pink Drink and all the baristas get excited when she walks in because they love her and she always tips.

The cast as Kanye songs Nadia: Power Lucio: No Church in the Wild Asra: Love Lockdown Julian: Heartless Portia: Paranoid Muriel: Coldest Winter

Which characters would be in the fire, water, earth, and air nations? Slightly different from what you asked, but: Asra - waterbender Nadia - airbender Julian & Portia - non-benders Muriel - Earthbender Lucio - Firebender

What kind of parents are the cast at their child’s soccer game? Nadia: standing on the sidelines in sunglasses and heels biting her thumbnail and watching every move on the field because she doesnt trust the ref Asra: cheers whenever anything happens, takes as many kids as can fit in the car out for ice cream but doesn’t check with the parents Julian: chats up the other parents relentlessly and isn’t watching when his kid gets hit in the face with the ball Portia: “cmon cmon cmon cmon cmon cmon cmon AW WHAT WAS THAT” Muriel: watching from the parking lot inside the car Lucio: yelling on the phone the whole time, spills all 24 oz of his salted caramel mocha on the bench and doesn’t do anything about it

Which Disney movie is the favorite of each of the cast? Nadia: Fantasia 2000 Asra: The Emperor’s New Groove Julian: Muppet Treasure Island Portia: Muppet Treasure Island Muriel: The Fox and the Hound Lucio: Cinderella 2: Dreams Come True

what kind of youtube channel would each character have (letsplay, cooking, craft, etc)? Asra: very unstructured mostly-cooking channel that also features videos of him just eating weird things, and videos of Faust existing and being cute Nadia: beauty guru with very polished high-end editing Julian: doesn’t know how to use youtube but Portia made an account for him and uploads her shaky/blurry phone videos of his jazz performances Portia: likes and comments on all of Nadia’s videos while occasionally posting cute cat vids Muriel: does not have an internet connection Lucio: extremely loud letsplayer, mostly FPS

What would the cast be as animal crossing villagers? Muriel: Cranky Bear Julian: Smug Eagle Portia: Uchi Cat Nadia: Snooty Ostrich Asra: Lazy Wolf Lucio: Jock Goat

What Fire Emblem Fates' classes would each character be? Asra - Diviner Nadia - Priestess Julian - Adventurer Portia - Maid Muriel - Wolfskin Lucio - Berserker

if the arcana cast were naruto characters, which ones would they be Portia: Naruto Muriel: Gaara Lucio: Orochimaru Julian: Itachi Asra: Kakashi Nadia: Fancy Shikamaru

If the characters of arcana watched rupaul's drag race who would be their faves? Nadia: bebe, raja, peppermint Asra: yara, aja, adore Julian: nina bo’nina, sasha, raven Portia: chichi, bob, ginger Lucio: willam, kimora, mimi imfurst Muriel: Latrice Royale

WHAT ARE THE CHARAS PREFERRED FLAVOR OF ICE CREAM? Nadia: Lavender Lemon Asra: Rainbow Sorbet Julian: Pistachio Portia: Cookie Dough Muriel: Rocky Road Lucio: Red Velvet

Please please arcana cast as mcr songs Lucio: It’s Not a Fashion Statement, It’s a Deathwish Julian: Thank You For The Venom Asra: Welcome To The Black Parade Muriel: House of Wolves Nadia: You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison Portia: Give Em Hell Kid

What are the characters going to be for Halloween? Asra - glow-in-the-dark mermaid Nadia - [elegant ballgown interpretation of] a swan Julian - tortured vampire/werewolf hybrid Muriel - sheet ghost Portia - ninja turtle Lucio - slutty angel Faust - a very long hot dog

If you had to assign the characters from the Arcana to characters from Labyrinth who would they be? Nadia: Jareth Asra: Sara Julian: Sir Didymus Portia: Hoggle Muriel: Ludo Lucio: The Chilly Down birds

What's each character's favourite fruits? Nadia: Concord Grape Asra: Blue Raspberry Julian: Fig Portia: Banana Muriel: Lemon Lucio: Pomegranate

what's everyone's favorite season? Asra - spring Nadia - summer Julian - autumn Muriel - winter Portia - spring Lucio - summer

Who would the Arcana cast be in a cliche Noir Film? Nadia: boss with kinetic ball bearing desk ornament and brandy in the drawer Asra: first love turned old flame that you run into halfway around the world Julian: haggard scientist with an unbuttoned shirt scribbling on the walls Portia: wisecracking secretary who takes a bus a train and a ferry to work Muriel: ominous farmer that lets people use the phone after a car breaks down Lucio: raging starlet shattering a vase after being blacklisted by every studio

The Arcana cast as Michael Jackson songs? Nadia: Man in the Mirror Asra: You Are Not Alone Julian: Smooth Criminal Portia: Will You Be There Muriel: Ben Lucio: Bad

What would each character be in cats? This probably wasn’t supposed to be Cats the musical but if you think i’m gonna pass this up Nadia: None they’re all awful/ Munkustrap Asra: Mister Mistoffelees Julian: Macavity Portia: Jennyanydots Lucio: Rum Tum Tugger Muriel: Grizabella

what would their favorite emojis be? Asra: 🌚 Nadia: 🍷 Julian: 🎷 Portia: 👀 Muriel: 👁 Lucio: 💃💸😏👑

What panic at the disco songs describe each character best? Julian: Death of a Bachelor Asra: I Write Sins Not Tragedies Portia: She’s a Handsome Woman Nadia: Northern Downpour Lucio: Victorious Muriel: From a Mountain in the Middle of the Cabins

What stereotypes for a super cliché highschool do the characters fall into? Nadia: Valedictorian who has been doing independent study and hasn’t set foot in the building for the past two years Asra: Shows up late every class with loud ass Sunchips, does homework in glow in the dark gel pen Julian: Eats lunch with his teacher so they can keep talking about mitochondria Portia: Gets really hype about dances, always ends up fighting at dances Muriel: Puts away all the folding chairs that everyone left behind Lucio: Gets on the intercom to talk shit about the teacher who gave him a D+ on his plagiarized essay

What sports would the characters play? And would they be any good at those sports? Muriel: Any solitary sport. He likes track and shotput. Nadia: Swimming. She isn’t on a team, she just likes the water. Portia: Wrestling. She’s got a few championship belts. Julian: Grandma Devorak forced him to take One Sport in high school, and he chose long-distance running. Asra: Beach volleyball and snowboarding. He’s just there to have a good time. Lucio: Ice hockey, but he spends it mostly punching other players.

what dragons from books/movies/games match each character best, would you say? As for dragons, one of our writers plays Flight Rising obsessively so here’s every character as a Flight Rising breed. Asra: Fae Nadia: Imperial Lucio: Wildclaw Muriel: Guardian Julian: Skydancer Portia: Snapper

What is each character most likely to do with the mc when they're feeling 'unusually affectionate'? Nadia: feed them champagne grapes and engage them in conversation so she can watch them try to talk with their mouth full Asra: stare at them and stop acknowledging anyone or anything else Julian: preen and spoil them to the point of being a public embarrassment Portia: constant cuddly contact Muriel: follow them at a respectable distance Lucio: belt out an aria at the sight of them

What's everyone favorite manga if they read any in this world? Nadia: Rose of Versailles Asra: Yugioh Julian: Blackjack Portia: Ranma ½ Muriel: Hunter x Hunter Lucio: Berserk

how much does faust like all the characters? like, who does she like the most/least? does she like the main character at all? Faust adores the main character almost as much as she loves Asra. But if she had to choose from the rest: Most good smelling: Nadia Most fun to squeeze: Julian Most too big to eat: Muriel Most hard to hide from: Portia Most attackable: Lucio

what kind of drunk is everybody? Nadia: capable, professional drunk on the move. Never in the same room twice Asra: touchy-feely but won’t leave the couch, still somehow manages to catch on fire Julian: morphs into The Storyteller, everyone in earshot ends up caught in a dramatic reenactment of his life story waiting for him to take a breath but he never does Portia: makes 6 new friends in the bathroom line Muriel: moody, talks to no one, keeps taking everybody’s empty bottles out to the trash Lucio: the loudest, the drama, the legend, the first to dip out when the cops show up

Of the Characters: Who tells a dirty joke? Who doesn't understand it? Who is disgusted? Who laughs? Who hides a smile? Who gets annoyed? Lucio: tells a dirty joke Muriel: doesn’t understand it Julian: is disgusted Asra: laughs Portia: hides a smile Nadia: gets annoyed

What are the characters usual reactions when subbing their toes? Nadia: It Does Not Happen Asra: hops it off Julian: hissing, closes his eyes while he savors the pain Portia: (string of curses) “ok………. i’m fine” Muriel: doesn’t notice because his toes are too far away Lucio: shrieks, revenge kicks the wall, shrieks harder

what you think everyones deadly sin would be? the deadly cliches: Nadia - Pride Asra - Lust Julian - Wrath Portia - Envy Muriel - Sloth Lucio - Gluttony

On a scale of good to bad, who sings karaoke? Nadia has a silky voice with impeccable vibrato. But she only sings karaoke alone in the bath. Asra has an airy, intimate voice. He’s the worst at karaoke because he doesn’t even get up off the couch. Julian has very limited singing ability, but he will talk sing the whole way through if he has to. He’s great at duets, somehow. Portia has a throaty, powerful voice. She brings the house down with Heart and Bonnie Tyler ballads, even if she squeaks on the high notes. Muriel has a gravelly grumble that he is convinced is useless for singing and if you hand him the microphone he’ll drop it and go stand in the corner. Lucio has an overdone musical theater voice but he is tone deaf. He will shout out the high notes and power through the rest and if you try to skip his song there will be hell to pay

which social media platform which each character Prefer™ ? Asra - twitter (RTs a lot of memes and shitposts, posts incomprehensible dril-like tweets at 3am) Nadia - instagram (flawless makeup and aesthetic™) Julian - yahoo answers Portia - snapchat Muriel - what is social media Lucio - LinkedIn (you will NEVER stop getting email notifications from him)

what dnd classes would the cast be (like mage, assassin, cleric etc)? Nadia: Paladin Asra: Warlock Julian: Rogue Portia: Bard Muriel: Fighter Lucio: Barbarian

what would each characters spice girl name be Asra: Mystery Spice Nadia: Boss Spice Julian: Suffering Spice Portia: Sassy Spice Muriel: Surly Spice Lucio: Spicy Spice

how complicated is each character's personal hygiene routine? Nadia’s personal hygiene routine: an exact science and takes a practiced team of servants to execute. Julian’s personal hygiene routine: splashing his face 5-7 times and gargling with his famous mint vodka peroxide formula Asra’s personal hygiene routine: sticking his head underwater until he’s awake Portia’s personal hygiene routine: putting her hair in a bun and scrubbing herself with a cloth and bucket down by the frog pond Lucio’s personal hygiene routine: milk and caviar bath every 13 hours Muriel’s personal hygiene routine: standing in the pouring rain

What's everyone's favorite alcoholic drinks? Asra - St Germain, tequila, blue curaçao, lime juice, hibiscus syrup (serve in a champagne flute or martini glass, garnished with a wildflower or tiny umbrella) Julian - whiskey, Kahlua, Grand Marnier, lemon juice (serve in a highball glass) Nadia - Chambord, white wine, seltzer (serve in a wine glass, chilled or on the rocks) Portia - beer & apple cider with a shot of rum (serve in a lowball glass) Muriel - Baileys, butterscotch schnapps, hot chocolate (serve warm, in your coziest mug) Lucio - Jägermeister & Goldschläger topped with overproof rum (serve as a flaming shot)

what would be each of the characters' favorite genre of music? Asra: Bossa Nova and EDM Nadia: Obscure Opera and Calming beach sounds Julian: 20 minute tracks of Quality Jazz Portia: Reggae and dad rock Muriel: New wave and white noise Lucio: Top 40 and Dark Funky Disco

who would the arcana characters be from mean girls?? Asra: the guy who asked what day it was Nadia: cady Julian: gretchen weiners Portia: janis Lucio: regina george Muriel: damian

Which Hogwarts house would each of the Main Cast belong in? Asra & Julian - Ravenclaw Nadia - Slytherin Portia & Muriel - Hufflepuff Lucio - Gryffindor

What would the characters modern!au job/career of choice be? Lucio owns and manages several nightclubs and has a trashy daytime talk show Asra does really low-budget magic shows at kids’ birthday parties by day, and DJs at one of Lucio’s clubs at night Nadia is the city mayor, an international chess champion, and concert pianist Portia works at Home Depot (used to be a waitress at Red Lobster but the tips were terrible), but she wants to be a zookeeper Julian is a doctor at an underfunded hospital with lots of drama Muriel lives off the grid in a broken-down van in the woods

Just due to mild curiosity what would be the casts favorite musicals? Asra - Legally Blonde: The Musical Nadia - Chicago Julian - Les Mis Muriel - Wicked Portia - Cats! Lucio - Phantom of the Opera / Kinky Boots (it’s a tie)

what cryptid is every character Asra = Chupacabra Julian = Mothman Nadia = Nessie Portia = Loveland Frog Muriel = Bigfoot Lucio = Jersey Devil

how would the game's characters celebrate the MC's birthday with them?? Asra would take them on a long journey without telling them where they were going (but would keep them entertained with riddles) to a scenic oasis, where he would pretend to drown so MC has to dive into the water and at the bottom is a magic flute that can summon a swarm of bees (their favorite!) Nadia would throw a tastefully brief festival in their honor. MC would be lavished with pampering (by professional pamperers) from dawn to dusk and when the clock struck midnight, they would be presented with seven bejeweled eagles (one for every day of the week) Julian would meet them for dinner in a shady tavern, bring them heaping plates of food and offer unsolicited advice for the coming year. About halfway through the meal he would have to scramble out the back door because law enforcement arrived on the scene but he’d put it an order in the kitchen to bring them something for dessert Lucio would declare the day a holiday and call it Day of the Beloved One of Lucio. They would have to sit uncomfortably still while a master artiste painted their portrait and a mile-long line of peasants laid gifts at their feet. Muriel doesn’t celebrate birthdays because time is a human construct Portia would throw a big loud party with a barbecue :D

Since it is soon, what would the characters do for Valentines day with us (the MC)? Nadia would take you on an elegant river cruise stocked with 130 varieties of tiny cake and a private crooner hired to serenade you but she would end up throwing them overboard for not hitting the high notes Asra would take you to the mall and splurge on all the stuff you both can’t afford but wait way too long to get lunch so you get into a fight and he proposes in the food court Julian would show up on the 15th after with all the candy he scored at 75% off, pretend it was on purpose that he got the day wrong, and wake you up at 3 am to come clean because the guilt was eating him alive Muriel would light some scented candles, cook up a sensual meal and throw a bearskin rug in front of the fireplace for you to enjoy alone while he escapes into the woods Portia would pack a picnic of chicken and tortilla chips, take you to the beach where you could splash around until the sun goes down and lull you to sleep on the sandy blanket with her acoustic guitar Lucio would have servants fill your room with floor to ceiling flowers while you sleep and wait impatiently for you to wake up like

Would you roommate with any of the characters? it’s hard to decide, so here are some pros and cons Asra - pro: never home / con: leaves dishes in the sink for weeks Nadia - pro: your home will be spotless / con: it’s spotless because she orders you to clean it for her Julian - pro: medical professional / con: half of your apartment is now this

rate the characters on how #extra they are Muriel: 4/10 Lucio: 13/10 Everyone else: 10/10

Which character could be best described as "tender"?? "Spicy"??? “tender”: Muriel “tender”/“Spicy”: Asra, Portia “Spicy”/”tender”: Julian, Nadia “Spicy”: Lucio

what the favorite Pokemon of all the characters were. Asra - Ekans, Delphox, Espeon Nadia - Noctowl, Gardevoir, Musharna Julian - Absol, Bisharp, Murkrow Portia - Chansey, Politoed, Hoothoot Muriel - Pangoro, Aggron, Wigglytuff Lucio - Houndoom, Pyroar, Skarmory

#what I spend my life on #the arcana #the arcana game #asra alnazar #nadia satrinava #julian devorak #muriel #portia devorak #count lucio #asra the magician #the arcana muriel #ask arcana #I just like to organize information too much

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thattimdrakeguy · 3 years

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Okey! Some Autistic Timmy thoughts, coming right up! (Most of these are self projection lol😅)

1. HATES chalk. Like really, really hates it. The texture is the WORST it gets on his hands and he HATES it so so so much. He touches chalk and immediately has the urge to rip his skin off. The first time he touched chalk as a toddler he actually started crying.

2. Needless to say, his life is pretty unstructured. This doesn't really bother him, HOWEVER, if his "suiting up in the cave" routine is interrupted it WILL mess up his entire day. If he's suiting up at home or anywhere else it's fine, but for some reason he's particular about the cave routine. Luckily Bruce is also a very routine oriented person so it's not a big deal, but when someone else is in charge and it changes it bothers him. He can still function perfectly well, he just gets more anxious than usual.

3. Kraft mac n cheese is his comfort food. He measures out the ingredients exactly so it will taste the same every time.

4. Watched a documentary about ocean creatures when he was 8 and memorized the whole thing. Can and will tell you the creepiest and most disturbing facts from it if prompted to.

5. Rocks in his chair when he's sitting and thinking, to the point where the floor around his desk has scratch marks. He's fallen over and bonked his head many times and it drives Alfred insane.

6. This one is actually supported by canon to an extent but I think he really likes labelling things with the Robin symbol. It's fun and easy to draw and it gives him a little serotonin boost every time he see's one of his things labeled like that. Bruce noticed it and always makes sure to label all of Tim's new gear before he gives it to him. To make things easier to distinguish, of course. Because it would definitely be so easy to mistake the primary colored xx small clothes and gadgets for belonging to anybody else.

Sorry, not all of these are directly related to autism I guess. I just put things that I see commonly in myself and other autistic people that I thought he might also do. Love your blog btw!

I honestly really love these to be honest, cause I can really easily picture Tim doing all of these kinds of stuff. Like it fits in amazingly well with his personality. I mean I don’t know about the chalk and Mac and Cheese, but that’s purely because I don’t think you could tell that from a personality, but you can get what I mean lol. It’s all great.

I actually had the Robin one myself too, at least kind of. Maybe not a label specifically on everything, but I can picture him just having a Robin symbol of everything that’s his rather it was bought that way like the symbol on his shirt or a backpack, to the labels and tags on other things because Robin just means so much to him.

Now it’s got me imagining it on LITERALLY everything, like Dick, Cass, Babs maybe even, and Timmy himself all having a sleepover party in the living room or cave or something, and someone nearly grabs Tim’s pillow and blanket and he gets jumpy like “Hey, no, that ones mine!”, which isn’t even tellable at first because this ones just his plain pillow and blanket, not his merch one. But he yoinks it out of their hand and shows them a personally made label in the form of a little tiny tag on them both.

If you put out all of the Batkids stuff in front of you (I’m imagining like all neat and folded and each person’s stuff is in their own little group next to the other people’s stuff’s also grouped), it’d be so obviously Tim’s (I mean besides no one else being able to fit into his tiny tiny clothes). Like “Okay, Robin flashlight, Robin lunchbox, Robin jammies, Robin blanket, Robin socks, Robin shirt, Robin labeled short pants, Robin cap, Robin band-aids, Robin sweater, Robin jacket, Robin briefs, Robin wrist watch, Robin nightlight, Robin label on the grappling hook, Robin label in the boots and as a shape on the sole, Robin toothbrush, Robin hairbrush, Robin--okay hmm. Who’s is this?”

Not that he wears all of it at once, but just having the option makes him unreasonably happy, and he can’t even really explain it to a Dick or Cass who may ask, but it just does.

Dick sarcastically asks him: “Was the Robin identity and costume not enough?”

When there’s a mess somewhere, you can always tells what’s Tim’s to be able to give it to him.

I also really like the one about his routine cause it feels like that thing that would just nag at Tim and he can’t really explain it. Like everything's going well, he has everything, but the school changes the schedules for everyone and Tim’s just uncomfortable for the rest of the day. He just doesn’t like it.

Ends up making him do these little checks to make sure he has all of his gadgets too, and Bruce could’ve sworn he checked like twice already on everything, but Tim just has to do it or else he’ll be upset for the rest of his night.

Same with Y.J. when he goes to Mount Justice he also had to do these routines and Bart and Kon catch on and try to mess it up sometimes when they’re feeling extra pranky, but I figure either Cassie or maybe even Slobo of all people figures out why Tim always seems perpetually grumpy or upset at them afterwards, so they eventually knock it off. Included with an apology even if it does sound half-assed at first.

Like I could go all day with the little visions popping in my head with the headcanons, but I really like it.

Oh! And thank you for enjoying my blog! That's amazing of you.

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desdraws · 4 years

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Comic update 01.01.2020

My goal for 2019 was to finish my comic prologue for David’s Gate and an Owl corps book, but I didn’t meet either of these goals.

First of all I just want to talk about comics for a little bit, particularly shounen.

The shounen genre of comics had always been my favourite genre for the wacky and fun premises it managed to get me invested in when I was new to manga. Despite the fun I’ve had reading the genre, as I’ve grown, it’s become harder and harder to suspend my disbelief for crazy powers and plots that seemingly pop up without rhyme or reason.

I began to find that the shounen I stayed very fond of were those with structured spiritual systems for superpowers (Hunter x Hunter [Nen], Magi [Rukh], and even Naruto [Chakra] come to mind). I also loved having something that would let me in a little bit on how the world I was getting invested in worked, like a set of rules I would be able to go back to if things got too complicated. I still had my cravings for cool and wacky fun, but I think my value for intention, research, and writing levelled up beyond some of the initial stories that got me into the genre.

This craving for cool ideas that touched on aspects of spirituality in a way that still made coherent sense within a large ecosystem is part of what drew me into writing and creating. It gave me a goal, to fill a gap I saw in my favourite genre, with themes, powers, stories, and characters I desired to explore, knowing that they could only be taken seriously if the crazy world they were made in allowed for it.

This brings me to back my own work.

For the past few years I had been developing a structure for the powers in my setting, and it was largely based on my interests in ancient mythologies, theology, cosmogony, psychology, and general engineering, but I had no way to visualise them under one umbrella for the sake of intuitive coherence. I studied a bunch, and last year I thought I had something I could build on, but as it turns out, theory and reality are two different things. My attempts at realising these Ideas (aesthetic dreams -> intelligible representation in this case) kept resulting in dissatisfaction, failure, and a great sense of self loathing. I just found myself drowning in a sea of chaotic ideas for the larger part of 2019, it made me unable to commit to anything, in fear that I might create something that fell into that category of unstructured shounen comics I couldn’t suspend disbelief for, and as a result, not fully enjoy.

I couldn’t afford to stop creating however, so I shifted my focus towards Owl Corps content.

The Owl Corps play an important role in my setting, but at this time in my mind, it was largely a self indulgent distraction from the headache of trying to figure out the fundamental rules of my setting. Throughout the time I spent on Owl Corps content, I always called into question my purpose for this shift in focus from something so vital to my comics’ creation, but since I kept finding myself back here, I decided I had to make sure I put in my best efforts, even if at the time the Owl Corps shouldn’t have been my priority.

Don’t misunderstand, I love all my Owl Corps characters, and I don’t regret the time I spent working on them, as I still plan to going into 2020. I just wish I knew how to express what I was struggling with a lot better.

Thankfully for me, I had a bit of a breakthrough in my latest addition to the Owl Corps.

5V-Eta and Grischa the Harriot.

I had a few goals in mind that lead to Grischas’ visual design. Yes of course my self indulgence wanted it to compliment 5Vs’ big bum, but my other aim was to build her a single seater on-road vehicle with hovering capabilities for fast off-road travel. It took me 3 months of studying, and numerous online videos/lectures on engineering and electricity to finally understand how I could practically (or believably) make it work.

What I didn’t anticipate was for the studying I did on Grischa to turn the cogs in my brain, and give me the practical insight I was missing in my struggle to unify my settings’ cosmology. I could finally make sense of my scattered jigsaw puzzle of ideas, and it was all thanks to my devotion in creating a functional vehicle for 5Vs’ fat arse. Unbelievable. Embarrassing.

Maybe I sound a little crazy, who knows. I’ll just sum up my feelings and takeaways from recent developments.

My visual output in 2019 has been quite dismal, hardly inspiring for the grant I won in 2018. The grant has been invaluable, especially for the time it has given me to be able to just sit down, study, and think. I have a much stronger grasp of everything I’m trying to make, and while my setting is a very ambitious one, I finally have the tools and knowledge to move flexibly and create intuitively within it without having to worry about breaking my own rules, because I found new understanding.

I guess the main costs throughout all this has been, a lot of time, lack of content, broken deadlines, and failed expectations. For these things I’m truly sorry, but I’m also happy about what I can create from here.

To those of you that reach out to me, or still secretly support me from the shadows, thank you so much. I hope you all had a good christmas, and I wish you a happy new year. My schedule is still a mess, but I’m a mixture of anxious and excited for 2020.

#there is method to my madness please believe me #thank God for ass #progress post #ramblings

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lostinthewinterwood · 3 years

Text

Worldbuilding Exchange 2021

Hey there friend!

Apparently you share some of my taste in obscure novels with gaps in their worldbuilding—impeccable, truly. I’ve got some expansion on all the tags I’ve requested below, though if you want to just get started feel free to ignore all that; some of them are distinctly longer than others, but don’t worry, just because I didn’t use as many words for any given prompt doesn’t mean I want it any less!

Anyway, thanks for writing for me! And if any of you lovely people are inclined towards treating, I will happily accept treats in any medium for any of the fandoms, including media I didn’t actually request there :D

General DNW

· non-con/dub-con;

· explicit sexual content;

· incest (incl. adoptive/chosen family);

· a/b/o;

· mpreg;

· non-canonical permanent major character death;

· complete downer endings;

· hurt no comfort;

· heavy angst;

· on-page deliberate self-harm*;

· on-page suicide;

· gore;

· graphic physical trauma;

· character bashing;

· cringe comedy;

· fic-as-writer-soapbox;

· setting AUs**;

· unrequested identity headcanons;

· romance as the main plot.

*I don’t include things like, say, punching a wall in a fit of emotion under this. However, something like cutting would not be appreciated.

**This doesn't mean that I'd expect you to hew very narrowly to what we know for sure in canon; after all, this exchange is for worldbuilding. However, for this exchange I'd prefer not to have anything that fundamentally alters the character of the world--eg elements like a/b/o, or things like a post-canon zombie apocalypse in a canon where that doesn't really fit in with the established tone/genre/world, that sort of thing.

General Likes

– I really like plotty fics

– A focus on family and/or friendship, especially characters realizing they’re not nearly as alone as they think they are, and just generally characters who like each other and enjoy spending time together

– Found family; families of choice

– Character studies

– Worldbuilding (obviously lol)

– Canon-divergence AUs and missing scenes; things set pre- or post-canon; wriggling into canon and poking at it to see what it spits back at you, if that description makes any sense at all.

- for a list of unconventional media/formats I’ve requested before, along with some commentary on them, please see my fic in a box letter.

Mother of Learning - nobody103 – in-universe meta

Any or No Characters (Mother of Learning)

Kirielle Kazinski (Mother of Learning)

Original Character(s) (Mother of Learning)

Original Eagle Shifter Character(s) (Mother of Learning)

Xvim Chao (Mother of Learning)

Zenomir Olgai (Mother of Learning)

fandom-specific dnw: romantic and/or sexual Zach/Zorian; physical parental abuse within the Kazinski family; significant exaggeration of canonical emotional neglect/abuse/general family dysfunction

WB: aranean languages (Mother of Learning)

So, we get at best a very vague description of the aranean language in canon; I’d love something that somehow expands on this! A brief grammar? Some other kind of profile? An attempt to turn their idea-morphemes into words, or outline what they are more explicitly? Up to you!

WB: Folklore and Literature (Mother of Learning)

Over the course of the story we learn plenty of things about the world and about their magic system; we learn a lot less about specific cultural things that aren’t directly relevant to the plot, and that includes folklore and literature—they have novels, we know that much, but that’s about it. So tell me more!

WB: how language and gesture and mana interact to form spells (Mother of Learning)

For all that the novel tells us about many different spells, we never really get to see the mechanics of spellcasting, or the underlying form of the mana—tell me how it works! And there’s also the fact that when you know the spell better you can cut parts out; how does that work in combination with all of this?

WB: Ikosian as spell language: how comprehension affects outcome (Mother of Learning)

Unless I’ve embarrassingly forgotten how canon actually goes, they use Ikosian (possibly a more specific dialect? I don’t remember, I’m sorry) for their incantations, but iirc they don’t speak that day to day, and even if they do not everyone does—so, you know, how does comprehension of the incantation affect the outcome of the spell?

WB: Oral Traditions (Mother of Learning)

If we don’t get much of literature, we get less of the oral traditions of… well, anywhere, tbh. So tell me more there! If you’re looking for something more specific, I’d love to hear about witch, Khusky, morlock, or shifter traditions, but really anything would be great.

WB: the development of unstructured magic and shaping exercises (Mother of Learning)

We know that way back in the past, human magic users were less adept with unstructured magic; now, if they want to be, they can be very good indeed with it. How did we get from Point A to Point B? How did that develop, who discovered all this?

WB: the Winter Mountains (Mother of Learning)

There’s very little to be heard about the Winter Mountains in canon; all we really know is that the eagle shifters flew off there, and the place is Very Dangerous. So… what are they like? How are the eagle shifters doing out there? What else lives there?

Mother of Learning - nobody103 – in-universe meta, fanart

Any or No Characters (Mother of Learning)

Kirielle Kazinski (Mother of Learning)

Original Character(s) (Mother of Learning)

Zenomir Olgai (Mother of Learning)

fandom-specific dnw: romantic and/or sexual Zach/Zorian; physical parental abuse within the Kazinski family; significant exaggeration of canonical emotional neglect/abuse/general family dysfunction

WB: Architecture (Mother of Learning)

We get a little bit of the architecture in Eldemar, mostly in Knyazov Dveri, but not too much of it; I’d like to see more of it, and from anywhere in their world really.

WB: Artistic Traditions (Mother of Learning)

If we only get a little bit of the architecture, we get less of the art—we know that they have carved doors and Kiri does pencil sketches, and realism is a style they have (or Zorian wouldn’t be thinking about how realistic her drawings were without any hint of that being unusual were she not nine) but what else can you tell me? What does their art look like; where do these traditions come from; is there some art that’s respectable and other art that isn’t?

WB: Clothing and Fashion (Mother of Learning)

Now. We get a bit of architecture, less of art, and approximately three lines in the whole 800k about clothing, and none of it very specific, so you’ve got pretty much total freedom here—show me what’s going on!

WB: how language and gesture and mana interact to form spells (Mother of Learning)

See above section—I just thought this would lend itself well to art as well as meta!

The Rhianna Chronicles - Dave Luckett – in-universe meta, fanfic

Antheus Northstar | Serenir (Rhianna Chronicles)

Any or No Characters (Rhianna Chronicles)

Arwenna Songsinger | Arwenna the Wise (Rhianna Chronicles)

Eriseth Arwensgrove (Rhianna Chronicles)

Original Character(s) (Rhianna Chronicles)

Original Male Eldra Character(s) (Rhianna Chronicles)

Rhianna Wildwood (Rhianna Chronicles)

Worldbuilding tags:

WB: academic magic and spellcasting techniques (Rhianna Chronicles)

We don’t see a whole lot of traditional spellcasting that actually works—mostly we see Rhianna’s attempts, which tend not to go all that well, lol. Other magic we see is primarily from people who know what they’re doing and aren’t explaining things in detail. Show me some that actually works! How is it different for schoolchildren and old archmages? What are the rules and mechanics—they don’t make sense to Rhianna, but clearly some things work and some things don’t, so there’s something going on there at least.

WB: Eldra magic (Rhianna Chronicles)

Since our main Eldra character is Eriseth, we don’t see much of their magic—tell me about it! How does it work? How do they channel it, what do they use it for?

WB: Eldra society (Rhianna Chronicles)

Again, we don’t see a lot of Eldra society—we see a few characters outside of their social group, and the one meeting thing, but not a whole lot of their day- to-day life. What’s it like? What’s the role of men in their society; we know they don’t do magic, so what do they do?

WB: Wild Talents and wild magic (Rhianna Chronicles)

To be fair, we do know a fair amount about how wild magic is worked from canon; I’m interested in going farther—go deeper into things! What can or can’t be done? Why are some people wild talents—how does this happen?

WB: Wizardly College (Rhianna Chronicles)

We only see Wizardly College through Rhianna’s eyes; she doesn’t get all that much of a look at it, either. So tell me more about it! What’s it like if you’re actually involved, not just a visitor?

The Farwalker's Quest - Joni Sensel – in-universe meta, fanfic

Any or No Characters (Farwalker's Quest)

Any Storian(s) (Farwalker's Quest)

Ariel Farwalker (Farwalker's Quest)

Ezekiel Stone-Singer (Farwalker's Quest)

Misha (Farwalker's Quest)

Original Character(s) (Farwalker's Quest)

Scarl Finder (Farwalker's Quest)

fandom-specific dnw: works that rely on knowledge of later books in order to make sense--i'm not gonna care all that much about spoilers? but i haven't read 'em, so.

WB: Essence and the Trades (Farwalker's Quest)

In some ways, Essence—or at least how it’s presented in relation to humans—seems kind of like an inborn specific magical talent, but in other ways it isn’t; Zeke’s tree talks to him, and then later the stones, but the tree talks to Ariel too, if only a little. Scarl was a Storian before he was a Finder; Ariel’s feet drag her where she needs to go, but she can also learn the basics of Finding and could have been a Healtouch if she’d not messed up the plants. So how closely are they tied together, Essence and the Trades? How much of an affinity do you need? How much can you make up for lack of affinity with desire and skill?

WB: Folklore and Fairytales (Farwalker's Quest)

We know a fair amount about the history of this world as people know it, but less about their folklore and fairytales—they have trees that talk and telling darts and Essence and ghosts, they definitely have folklore about those, or other things too. Do they tell children stories of what lies outside the village? Do they have spirits or Good People who may or may not actually exist? Who tells these stories—is this still a Storian’s job, or is it the purview of anyone who knows them? Did there used to be more, before the Forgetting?

WB: ghosts and how they work (Farwalker's Quest)

Misha’s dead, has clearly been dead for quite some time, and he can do a weird assortment of things—can other ghosts do them? He’s the only one we really see, so we don’t know if he’s special or not. And how common are ghosts anyway—how do they come to be? What’s up with them, overall?

WB: how Tree-Singer Abbey came to be (Farwalker's Quest)

Clearly, Tree-Singer Abbey is very old. If I had to guess, I would say it must have been made either before the Blind War or right after the sight came back—but most likely, given that it contains the Vault, it’s from before. But Essence, as far as the characters know, wasn’t discovered until afterwards; nor were the Trades. So who built this abbey, up there in the mountains, with all the trees? Why build it there in the way they did? Was it never widely known that it was also the Vault, or was that forgotten somewhere along the way?

WB: the nature of trees (Farwalker's Quest)

…so. What is up with the trees, anyway, and have they always been this way, or did the used to be normal trees? How sentient are they; how much can they move; what are they like, especially among each other? Zeke’s tree tries to catch him, so we know they can move on their own; is that typical? Can they do it whenever they want, or only under duress? Idk man, I just want to know more about the trees, y’know?

Star Split - Kathryn Lasky – in-universe meta, fanfic

Any or No Characters (Star Split)

Darci Murlowe (Star Split)

Lana | The Prima (Star Split)

Max Lasovetch (Star Split)

Original Character(s) (Star Split)

Original Umbula Character (Star Split)

Vivian (Star Split)

fandom-specific dnw--all of this is for the narrative level (not addressing it is fine; having characters who believe or do these things is fine): eugenics apologetics; segregation portrayed as good for society/the people living under it; infantilization of disabled characters; portrayal of low-prestige dialects as being "bad grammar" versions of higher-prestige dialects

fandom-specific note: the “setting AU” dnw is here amended to “surface-level setting AUs” and is expanded on as follows: This is a pretty loose dnw for this fandom, given that the canon leans very hard on the line between straight scifi and science fantasy; it acts like it's grounded future dystopia, speculative but not fantastic, but... well. Based on canon events, I can't fully consider it as such--so as long as you keep the surface elements more or less the same, no matter what the underlying justification for them is we'll be good. Is your explanation Aliens Did It? sweet, go for it. or anything else in that vein. this world is your oyster.

WB: "tears in the mind"/ancient word memories in masked chimeras (Star Split)

Okay. Okay. So. Most of this book’s worldbuilding is plausible, you know? If not real-world plausible, at least future scifi dystopia plausible, right? But. The word thing. There is no reasonable connection as far as I can see between the genetic condition of masked chimeras and having sudden, unexplained epiphanies about the meanings of words—since the relevant aspects of language are arbitrary, and Darci doesn’t have any particularly detailed knowledge of Modern English (being herself presumably a speaker of Future English, although I have to assume that Future English is surprisingly similar to Modern English given the time scale since the poetry fragments she’s reading don’t seem to have needed any translation for her to understand them, which would generally not be the case with Modern vs Old English—and that is the time scale we’re dealing with here—anyway, let’s move on), there’s no way for her to come up with this? So please, just, explain how all this works to me?

Really don’t feel you need to stay within the scifi world conventions here lol, especially since this element pretty much… doesn’t.

WB: disability in the Bio Union (Star Split)

We don’t see much of how disability works here—Darci doesn’t seem to consider herself disabled, and there’s no other character who could really be interpreted as such. Given how very eugenicist the Bio Union is, I have to wonder how they deal with disabilities they can’t engineer out of existence—tell me how it works!

WB: divergence/difference between Genhant and Original dialects and mannerisms (Star Split)

So we can see the effects of a long-term social separation here; the dialects used by Genhants and Originals seem fairly different. Darci observes that Originals’ grammar “might not be as good” but obviously that’s her perspective, being a kid who speaks the prestige dialect; the grammar within their dialect would be no better or worse than Genhant grammar in their speech. And the Original dialect seems to also include more specific nonverbal communication; if they’re talking less, but (presumably) communicating similar amounts, then they must either be able to convey more information in the same amount of time through their speech, or their dialect includes informal signed elements—Vivian doesn’t seem to parse it as such, but although Darci observes less dialogue from the Original kids, Vivian’s conversations with her uncle aren’t presented any differently than Darci’s conversations with other Genhants. A tragically unused opportunity, in my opinion.

Show me how these two dialects differ, in more specific ways, rather than just telling me they do! Tell me about potential miscommunications! Is there a lack of documentation of the Originals’ dialect due to its low status? How does this affect scholarship on it? Are the hand gestures elements of the language in some way, or are they nonlinguistic?

WB: growing up as a Laureate's umbula (Star Split)

So… how does this work? They try to replicate the childhood as closely as possible, but obviously it can’t be perfectly done. Do the kids grow up knowing they’re clones, that they’re meant to be Important Person The Second, Just The Same, or is that hidden from them? What happens if a Laureate’s umbula decides they don’t want to follow in their predecessor’s footsteps; what if they want to forge their own path in life? Is that allowed? No one forced the Laureate into being what they became, after all.

WB: growing up as an Original (Star Split)

Things that are not entirely clear in this book include the answer to the question of how much of the high degree of segregation we see is socially and economically enforced, and how much of it is legally enforced. This is interesting—clearly, the original divergence was economic, with the wealthy being able to afford genetic enhancements and the poor not being able to afford them; however, it strikes me as slightly unrealistic that there would be no Originals in Genhant schools or at non-scholarship Genhant summer camps, etc, if there was no segregation on a legal level. Of course it would be more difficult for Originals to become wealthy enough to afford these, but the fact that none of them seem to have reached that level is very revealing; that tells me there’s far less social mobility than we have in our modern society (which isn’t very mobile, much as we may like to think otherwise) or there’s legal discrimination and segregation keeping things this way or both.

…and with all that being said, I’d love to hear something about what it’s like to grow up in the underclass of this society. We see most things from Darci’s point of view, and she, being a thirteen-year-old who’s basically comfortable in her own life, doesn’t really see that much. What’s it like, being raised as an Original? What sort of expectations do Original parents and schools have for their children? What sorts of jobs do they typically do? Do they go to university? Can they go to university? Are there summer camps for them, or do they only get to do things like that on scholarships? What’s it like, being the Scholarship Kid due not only to your family’s finances but also your very genetics? How does that change your dynamic with your other Original friends, when you got a scholarship and they didn’t—what do they think about that? I’d assume they have less obsession with Genetic Predetermination, since they don’t get a map of their probable life at conception… how does that work, in this society that runs on genetic predetermination for so many things?

#exchange letters #worldbuilding exchange #requested: mother of learning #requested: the rhianna chronicles #requested: the farwalker's quest #requested: star split #requested: art #requested: fic

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haltandcatchfiretothemax · 4 years

Text

FEMSLASH FEBRUARY 2020 #6: In which Cameron and Donna acknowledge an anniversary

[CN: food mentions; major SPOILERS for s3 and s4 of Halt and Catch Fire]

“Wanna come in anyway?” Cameron had accepted Donna’s invitation. And then she wound up staying at her house for the rest of Fourth of July weekend.

They spent most of that weekend lying next to each other in Donna’s bed, alternating between talking, sleeping, and kissing, and in that order. On Friday afternoon, lying on her side in pajamas Donna had gotten her for Christmas, Cameron had noted, “It’s really weird how little we’ve actually talked.”

Donna grinned at her from her side of the bed, just a few inches away. “Right? We talk all the time, and not just about work, but we’re always so focused on work, we never just get to exist around each other.”

“Yeah, exactly,” Cameron had nodded, “like, we’d sort of start to relax around each other, but then it was always time to get back to work, or to go home, or whatever. Or we’d be busy with some holiday thing or a party. And now…we just get to be. In the same place. And without worrying about it being a date!”

Tucking a strand of hair behind Cameron’s ear, Donna said, “Well, I liked going out with you. But it’s nice just hanging out with you. It’s really nice.”

Cameron wrinkled her nose fussily. “I liked going out with you too. I just hope I get better at it some point.”

Donna snorted. “I think you did okay, but, I take your point.”

They spent the rest of that day in their pajamas, having a long, unstructured conversation, mostly in Donna’s bed, pausing only to order takeout. They spent all of the next day talking too, but they also eventually got dressed and continued their conversation during a long walk, a trip to the diner, and a late evening by Donna’s pool.

And then on Sunday, Cameron was suddenly quiet.

Donna noticed it as soon as she woke up. When she noticed that Cameron was also awake at 9am, she asked her, “Hey, are you alright? Did you sleep okay?”

Staring straight up at Donna’s ceiling, Cameron sighed, “It’s me and Tom’s anniversary today. It would be our ten year anniversary.”

Donna couldn’t read Cameron’s tone. “Oh.” As soon as she said it, it suddenly felt as if all of that had happened yesterday. “That was a really long week at the office, with you missing and all.”

Still not looking at Donna, Cameron said, “I guess it probably seemed like I was missing when you didn’t hear from me. I’m sorry. And I’m also sorry that I didn’t apologize until just now.”

“That’s alright,” Donna inched closer to Cameron’s side of the bed. “I’m really just glad you weren’t missing or lying in a ditch somewhere.”

Cameron rolled her eyes. “You really thought I was a such a mess that I wouldn’t be able to survive a week where I grew up by myself, huh?”

Hesitantly, Donna replied, “Well, you kind of were!”

Cameron smiled glumly over at Donna and gently said, “You didn’t have to act like you knew how much of a mess I was, though.”

Sighing with relief, Donna said, “You’re right, I didn’t. I’m sorry I worried so loudly that it made you feel bad.”

Cameron looked back at the ceiling. Quietly, she admitted, “I was thinking about you when I married Tom.”

Donna’s face suddenly felt warm. She felt that strange, gut-burning anxiety that only seemed to happen when something went terribly wrong with a crush. She hadn’t felt that since she’d had to go out to Cameron’s trailer after getting kicked off Rover. “What do you mean, you were thinking about me?”

“When he said he’d move to California for his wife, I thought, oh, okay, he’s willing to marry me, that works out, if I’m married then I won’t have to be this weird third wheel in Donna’s marriage, and maybe things with her will finally be, like, good, or at least normal.” Sounding very young, Cameron said, “I really just wanted you to love me. I mean, I wanted that from everyone, but, I also really wanted it from you. I wanted you to be proud of me.”

Donna’s anxiety ebbed away, or most of it. “I didn’t know how much my opinion mattered to you. Sometimes I still can’t believe how caught up I was in my own problems, and how many things I didn’t notice about you then.” Taking a deep breath, she said, “I am proud of you. I was proud of you back then, too, I was just too busy worrying about you and fussing at you to say it. You’re amazing, Cameron. And I promise I’m not just saying that because we’ve been on a date for the past three days.”

Cameron nodded. “I know. I knew that before our three day date.”

“Good,” Donna grinned at her.

“I wish I’d known better than to marry Tom?” Cameron said. “I mean, even he knew that I should be with you, and not him?

“Well,” Donna sniffed. “Broken clocks, and all.”

Cameron squinted over at Donna, confused. “Wait, what?”

“Broken clocks? It’s an old expression, even broken clocks are right twice a day.”

Cameron looked at her for a moment, and then said “Ohhhh. Okay no, I get it now.”

Unable to contain herself, Donna giggled affectionately at her, and then closed the gap between them, and kissed Cameron’s cheek.

Smiling tentatively, Cameron looked at Donna, “I’m really glad I’m here. And I’m glad that I’m not married anymore. I think that’s all I was really trying to say, I didn’t mean to be so dramatic about it.”

“I’m really glad you’re here, too,” Donna whispered. “I mean, it took us long enough.”

Suddenly frowning, Cameron asked, “Do you remember what I said to you when I finally got back from Texas? You anchor me.”

“Of course I remember that. I’ll never forget how guilty I felt, and also how confused I felt.” Cameron gave her another puzzled look, and Donna sighed, “I’d wanted that kind of acknowledgement from you for a long time, but it didn’t feel as good as I thought it would. Partly because of my own mistakes, and partly because by that point, it was like, I wanted more, but I just…didn’t know what, exactly.”

“You always anchored me, though,” Cameron blurted out. “Even when you were lying to me, even when I was thousands of miles away, even when I was secretly writing your browser’s algorithm. Even when I was angry at you and never wanted to see you again, and even when I stopped being really angry at you because I was preoccupied with ruining my marriage and getting divorced. You were the first person who ever really saw me.”

“And I don’t feel like that’s some kind of insult, or like it makes me The Mom, anymore,” Donna grinned at her. “I’m happy to anchor you, Cameron. I’m proud to anchor you. I wanna anchor your brains out.”

“‘Anchor my brains out’? Donna Caroline Emerson,” Cameron whisper-exclaimed, “you kiss your mother with that mouth?!” Donna rolled her eyes, and then Cameron said, “That’s okay though, because I totally want you to anchor my brains out. Even though that sounds really violent. Thank you for always anchoring me.”

“Thank you for letting me,” Donna smiled brightly.

#pleased with myself for inadvertently scheduling cam and donna's 2nd date for the weekend of this anniversary!!!#even if i don't feel like this turned out as great as it could have?#it happens though! they won't all be great #femslash february #femslash february 2020 #fic #fan fiction #cameron howe #donna clark #donna emerson

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bonesandpoemsandflowers · 4 years

Note

Hey! I am asking for advice. I fucked up a few years ago at the telling apart ghosts and gods and would rather not go through that again. Could you help me out? I really want to get back into it but that was a very bad experience so I'm anxious. Thank you!!

Anon, I love this question and if you're willing to drop some more details in my inbox, anon or not, please do. I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience, but take heart, maybe, that everybody does this at SOME point, and taking a few years off to process is actually a pretty snappy turnaround time.

(spooky occult people only pls)

(scroll along, the rest of you)

It IS a tricky question, though.

Tough love up front: there is no entirely safe, entirely pleasant way to do magic. Fundamentally magic is transformative and therefore often uncomfortable. There's fears and negative emotions to work through, and there's also just some straight up tedium and drudgery, and no matter how cool you are, no matter how sure you feel about your place in the grand scheme of the universe, you will eventually question everything and get some things wrong. There will not only always be risk: sooner or later there will be pain.

But! Is it worth it? ABSOLUTELY, anon, and I'm not gonna try to persuade you because if you're asking, you've already made up your mind. You just want to not make the same mistakes over again. You want to make brand new mistakes! It is the only way to move forward.

There is a difference between the merely uncomfortable and the truly dangerous, so ultimately it's a game of knowing when fear is a just a trial to get through versus when fear is a warning keeping you safe. The first time I tried to answer this question I made a quick list of protections, but that's not really the issue. You're wiser than that. You're asking about something diagnostic.

Discernment is the greatest occult skill and one that’s difficult to quantify. It's one of those paradoxes of inexperience, nigh impossible to hone without practice, yet a skill you need in order to get out there and practice.

whatever your prior experience was: what did you learn from it? what was the point where you started to feel something went wrong? identifying that moment, how it felt, how you felt it, will help you more than anything I or anyone else can tell you.

I am, honestly, not the best person to describe how to increase your psychic sensitivity or whatever. The good news, maybe, is that you don't have to be great at discernment before you start. Yes, you can put all your effort into sharpening your senses before you even go out there, which is a noble way of doing it and maybe it will eventually even work, OR—you can put on some safety gear and wade out into the swamp wearing your little floaties so that you don't sink.

Your metaphorical swimming wings here are protections and banishments and the preemptive assistance of something bigger than you on your side. This answer is mostly going to focus on that last part, because "ghosts and gods" implies, I think, that you are ready to work with gods, or at least eager, which is, like, at least half of the process.

However, even then, I do wanna say—while I don't want to discount your negative experiences at all! I don't know anything about them, but I'm sure it was awful!—you, all by yourself, can probably banish most ghostly things you're likely to run into. There's a lotta bark, and usually not that much bite. I wrote up some less formal banishing methods and posted them here on ye old witch blogge, but really, you can mostly just yell at stuff to leave.

(there is a fair amount of repetition between this post and that one! I apologize. I mostly typed these late at night over the course of several days)

Now! Assistance. An ounce of prevention vs a pound of cure and it’s good to pack light.

So much of magic across time and cultures is about negotiating with spirits of some flavor or another. Maybe it's worship or maybe it's bindings or maybe it's strictly transactional, but as beings made of flesh we are forever making pacts with beings made of something else, and hey, it usually works.

The complication here is that the distinction between ghosts and gods maybe isn't that simple. Mess with the wording a little and Catholic saints are basically both. And so are some orisha, some loa, and so on. Baron Samedi (lord of the cemetery, best bang since the big one, etc etc etc) in particular, out of the vodou pantheon, may or may not have been human once, depending on who you ask.

Further: the most readily available spooky occult forces you have are your ancestors. So you'd file that under ghosts, maybe, except that with ancestral veneration practices and all, we inch closer to god territory, in a sense. At least—the rituals start looking the same from an outside perspective. Santeria, Vodou, Epiritismo and many more practices that the ones I'm familiar with involve working with your ancestors to accomplish your worldly goals. We don't consider them ghosts when we work with them; that's not the word we use. But arguably—why not?

So the trick here isn't necessarily how to sort ghosts from gods as much as it is to hang out with some NICE (to you) ghosts and/or gods.

How do you do that?

If you have a good relationship with your ancestors, then you start there. If you, like me, or lots of other long disowned and disinherited magicians, have a disconnect there, then—welp. Consider getting over it by going back further in the family tree (this is what you will inevitably eventually do). Somewhere in there you have someone kind, I promise. But that's not advice I could have followed ten years ago, so I'll get to the alternative in a minute. Let's assume, for the moment, that you accept the logic that your ancestors have a vested interest in protecting their line, and in fact having an active magic user willing to work with them probably makes their afterlives much easier.

There's tons of guides online about how to work with your ancestors. I think sincere, unstructured prayer and a glass of water are the simplest and most powerful of offerings. A candle, if you have one. Just flipping on a lamp or a light switch if you don't.

(I travel with a little LED tealight and a mala made of skull beads carved from ox bone, but I am unnecessarily spooky and dramatic. If anything, my ancestors prefer the plain obsidian mala I first started with. But the aesthetic.)

I'm very, very informal in my ancestral practice. It still works.

Tell them you want to establish a working connection, talk to them about what's going on in your life. Keep it short and don't worry about whether or not you feel anything yet. It might take weeks before you feel something, and that's okay—discernment is, like I've said, the most important but also hardest skill, and it usually takes time and repetition. Offer them something—anything, really, and honestly the plain glass of water is traditional—and ask for their protection. They will almost certainly give it to you.

"But Flowers," you might say. "Fuck that and fuck 'em. I'm not ready to fuck with my family yet."

Alright, little one! I feel ya. It took me ages to warm up to the idea. I promise that it's worth it when you're ready, but having covered ghosts, let's move on to

GODS

Step one: ask yourself if you need to fuck around with gods in the first place.

Step two: fuck around and find out.

Step three varies depending on who you're looking for. There is a great deal of anxiety about this in occult circles, especially among people who use the term "baby witch." People are terrified of making the wrong choice. They want it to be PERFECT. They want to be correct. "Who is calling me?" ask a thousand seekers, across forums and places. "I saw a butterfly the other day. IS IT A SIGN?"

(shit, dude, I dunno, probably not, but potentially maybe. Nobody can know but you. just keep in mind that butterflies etc exist on their own and go around doing their own thing and this has absolutely nothing to do with you the vast majority of the time)

You don't need to be wait to be called by a god to offer worship and/or develop a working relationship. I would argue that most people aren't really called, and if you are, you will KNOW. Tumblr likes to say gods need consent and I think that's fucking hilarious. There is no folkloric precedent for that. If you are Called, capital letter Called, you will know, and whatever happens next is between you whatever bizarre shamanic experience you end up having, because you WILL have it, good luck.

But probably that's not the issue here! Moving on with our hypothetical.

You're not waiting around for divine intervention. You're being proactive. You're not waiting for The Call, or even a mild call. How do you choose what god you're petitioning for protection? I doubt you're entirely neutral about it. You probably have a god you identify with or just find really friggin cool. That's a fine and dandy place to start.

The working relationship need not be forever.

Which brings me to my next point. If you are absolutely undecided about what direction to go in, consider going to one of the liminal gods. Your crossroads gods, your messenger gods, often trickster gods. Your between spaces gods. Your portal opening gods.

In Santeria and Vodou, which I keep on referring back to because those are the systems I was raised in, your messenger gods get called very early on in the ritual. Why? To open the way for everybody else. There's a suggestion here that certain gods are closer or more easily reached, so if you want an opener—ask somebody with keys, yeah?

(also technically there's spirits called before then like the rhythm/dance/drums but let's not complicate things. Broadly speaking: key holding gods first)

Catholic saints wise, you've got Saint Peter, right? Santeria has Elegua. Vodou has Legba. Vodou also has the Baron as a crossroads god and yer liminal spaces god and sometimes he also has keys and hey by the way, he's really great, but where was I?

Hermes is another option. Mercury.

There's a bunch of American indigenous options I don't know enough about to confidently say.

SPEAKING of indigenous american, right, there's always Quetzalcoatl—technically—sky god, wind god, messenger god.

There's Odin and I'm actually a big fan, but the Norse magic community is often kind of garbage these days because we've got too many nazis running around, which is a shame.

My point is: there's gonna be somebody who feels close, either because of your cultural background or your aesthetic, and you might as well ask.

Settle down. Call their name. Offer water and a prayer and ask for protection, tell them what it is you want to do, ask for their help on this new life journey.

Worship isn't really complicated unless you want it to be.

Again, don't worry about "feeling" anything. Don't expect anything dramatic. Just offer something, every day or every week or whenever you have the time and headspace for it. Do the motions and mean it even a little bit and with time the rest shall come.

Because EVENTUALLY, you will feel something. It will probably be a mild sense of peace. The ritual feels calming. Something about it feels cozy. Presence is often subtle, but that counts.

Once you feel solidly good about your ritual, I would say that means you have at least some degree of protection, and it's time to wade around the swamp and see what's up. What do you do next? I dunno! I don't know what your goals are! But you have your ancestors at your back, or you're on a god team, or maybe BOTH—go explore!

Confidence isn't everything. But confidence, my friend, is a LOT. There's more to it, of course, but especially early on: fake it till you make it and dream it and you'll be it.

Best of luck, anon. <3

#ask box #occult only pls thx

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gimmeyoon · 5 years

Text

Drink About [1]

↳ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader x Jin

↳ Setting: College AU

↳ Word Count: 4.3k

↳ Warnings: mentions of binge drinking, language

↳ Songs: Waste It One Me by Steve Aoki ft. BTS and Hands by the Vamps

❝you just wanted to get drunk and dance and now he’s all you think about❞

| Next

There’s nothing quite as humbling as vomiting in a fraternity bathroom with two people getting it on in the stall next to you.

Sana hits at the stall wall as if that will stop the wild animals from doing exactly what they came here to do. Joy tries to sooth you as she pulls your hair out of your face, but she’s so drunk and it’s clear she wishes she was anywhere else at this point. You have to agree with her on that.

If your life was a cheesy teen romantic comedy, a record would scratch and an older, wiser version of yourself would say, ‘I’m sure you’re wondering how I wound up in this mess.” Though, you figure no one would stay to watch a movie that starts this utterly disgusting. The prop department could have at least mopped the floor before letting your bare ass sit on tiles hopefully made sticky by spilt alcohol, though the moment of sobriety that comes as one is barfing up their brains tells you that’s only one of the residues at best. You suppose the fashion department wouldn’t have let you walk on set without underwear under your dress the way that Joy and Sana had.

“Honestly, _____, fuck him,” Sana says, abandoning her attempt to stop the actual fucking happening right next to you. “If he’s already with Chaeyoung, then he’s an even bigger fuckboy than any of us thought, and we do not cry over fuckboys.”

You wonder if you’re supposed to respond as you dry heave next to your friend, but figure Sana will understand. She does have a point though, your makeup is absolutely ruined at this point, which is more than he deserves.

It’s a process. Sitting in front of your mirror on a Friday night, you carefully beat your face to the gods in preparation for your favorite part of the week. It’s the same every time, the plans slightly different, but the process the same. Your shift at the gym’s reception desk ends at 5:00 and you head back to your apartment where you become slightly jealous at the sight of Joy napping on the couch and head back to your room. You stare at your closest until you figure out which of your outfits sparks joy, Marie Kondo style, and then you grab your tools. You turn on one of your favorite beauty guru’s videos and then the craft begins.

Joy never misses a chance to tease you about the pure time commitment this process is, but you haven’t been late to a pregame yet.

Now in your second year of college, you can say without a doubt that this process is the highlight of your week. Sure, occasionally something happens that outshines it, but it’s a constant. You have three hours secured to yourself where it’s just you and tasks that at the end of the day mean very little, but when finished, you have something to show for yourself. It’s about the only productive thing you allow on Friday night.

You surprise your friends back home with how often you go out, but you promised yourself after a failing your first class Freshmen year due to the sheer amount of time you spent with your friends that you would focus completely on school work during the week and that on the weekend you would let yourself be free and unstructured. Joy and Sana knew better than anyone how hard it was to get you to deviate from your color-coded planner for even the tiniest thing. They liked to joke that if they didn’t schedule getting fries at McDonald’s with you three weeks in advance, there wouldn’t be an opening. They weren’t that far off.

The weekend was different. It was the only time you let yourself give into the part of your soul that screamed to live life on the edge.

That was how you had ended up at Beta Tau Sigma months ago with Joy and Sana by your side. You were standing in the kitchen talking to the one member of the fraternity that Joy knew when you saw him for the first time.

Well, for the first time in person. You had followed Jungkook on Instagram after one of your friends had tagged him in their photo. He had followed back, and you could always count on a like from him on your posts.

You grabbed Joy’s arm when you saw him, drawing everyone’s attention towards yourself and the deer in headlights look you could only imagine was on your face.

“What,” Hoseok asked as he followed your gaze. “You look like you saw a ghost. Do I need to kick some asshole out?”

“No, sorry. I-I thought I saw someone, but I was wrong.”

“You sure? Taehyung’s too nice, he’ll just let anyone in.”

You smiled as you released your grip on Joy’s arm. “Seriously, it was nothing. I think I just need a drink.”

Hoseok nodded and motioned upstairs. “We keep the good stuff upstairs, and since Joy is the only reason I’m going to pass the human machine, you guys are welcome to it. Consider it my penance.”

“Oh, so you know penance, but an introductory biology class is too much?” Joy teased as you followed Hoseok.

“My dad’s a literature professor so he used big words at dinner and made us figure them out. I learned penance when I hid my sister’s laptop in the attic.” Hoseok leads you into the first room on the right and pulls back a curtain to reveal a fully stocked bar. “Jimin’s really into mixology and also showing off his money. So, help yourself,” he said with a dramatic bow.

“Hoseok, when I say you’re my hero, I want you to really hear me,” you said. “You are my hero and two shots from now, I will tell you that repeatedly.”

“She’s a very nice drunk,” Sana confirms as she pulls a bottle of tequila from the bar. She pours four shots from the bottle and after those have been forced down, she pours another four.

That’s how you find the courage to move onto the dance floor, an act that normally doesn’t require much liquid confidence. It’s also an act that doesn’t usually include being as close to Jungkook as it currently has you.

“Joy,” you start with a giggle. “How many times do I have to look at Jeon Jungkook for him to get the message that I want to put my ass on his dick and pose on that shit?”

“Firstly, if you ever quote a New Boyz song in presence again, you will be excommunicated from our apartment. Secondly, I think it’s going to take more than a look to communicate all of that.”

“Not if I have very expressive eyes,” you say with a wiggle of your eyebrows.

“If you do that, he’ll file a restraining order with the college,” Joy laughs.

“Joy,” you whine.

“_____,” she teases. “Seriously, you are a 21st century woman, just tell that boy that you want to dance.”

“If he says no, I can never show my face here again, you know that, right?”

“We’ll throw the whole fraternity away if we have to, babe.”

You decide that a sensible person would at least wait for the song to change before making their move, so three songs later you turn to acquire your target. He’s standing with one of his friends, Jimin you think, and you hate how good he looks. He’s in all black, like he usually is, but the dance room is so hot that his normally straight hair now frames his face in waves. You push back the thought that this is what his hair would look like after sex and make your way across the floor. He’s just a boy, you remind yourself the closer you get. Then you’re there, and you realize you probably should have practiced what you were going to say to him during the previous three songs. And now as Usher guides your movements, it’s too late.

He looks over as you approach and he offers you a smile, which you know is meant to be inviting, but he looks so damn good that it makes your arms break out in goosebumps.

“Hi,” you manage with a smile.

“Hi.”

You think you might let the silence fall for a beat too long, because Jungkook’s friend that may or may not be named Jimin has the time to look between the two of you before you continue.

“I follow you on Instagram,” is out of your mouth before you can stop it, and you can feel your ears visibly redden once you realize how stupid that sounds.

He laughs and you pray to whatever god might be listening that he wasn’t laughing at you.

“I follow you too,” he says.

“Thanks for that,” you cringe. It’s silent again for a beat too long, but then you think some god must have been listening, because his friend becomes your second hero of the night.

“He’d love to dance with you,” Maybe Jimin says as he pushes Jungkook in your direction, and that’s exactly the intervention you need to reach out for his hand.

You pull Jungkook through the crowd of people and begin to dance with him as soon as you find a spot that doesn’t make you feel claustrophobic. You think for a second how ironic it is to find an open space when you place your hips flush with his and begin to dance to whatever overplayed song the fraternity brother playing DJ has chosen.

He’s a better dancer than you would have guessed, his hips moving heavenly with the music, and the way he hardens beneath you helps heighten the confidence the alcohol gave you. His body is strong behind yours, and for a moment you wish you hadn’t had so much to drink because then you might have invited him back to your place to see what his body felt like on top of yours.

It’s four songs later when the sound of his name breaks your heart.

“Jeon!” Someone yells, from across the room, causing Jungkook to pull away from you and search for his friend. He must find him when he grabs your hand and pulls you with him. The culprit is smiling as you meet him and motions for you to follow him. “We need two more for beer pong and it’s time for you to put your money where your mouth is.”

Jungkook looks back at you, “Do you want to play?”

Considering your options appear to be leaving Jungkook to writhe around in the dance room with some other people that you are absolutely no longer interested in or play a drinking game with Jungkook and potentially speak to him about something other than the fact that you follow him on Instagram, you do not hesitate to say yes.

You find out two things about Jungkook very quickly. Firstly, he is very good at beer pong and secondly, he is very competitive, which the first thing helps.

“Taehyung is going to regret asking us to play,” Jungkook smiles as he hands you a ping pong ball.

“Less trash talking, and more playing, yeah?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow.

“Don’t rush my partner, yeah?” Jungkook copies Taehyung’s stature, and you can’t help but laugh at how theatrical he is.

“Patience is a virtue, young Taehyung,” you say as you aim for a red solo cup.

The ball lands in the drink with a satisfying slosh and Jungkook high-fives your success. It’s five more games of this and then your stomach betrays you. No longer are you focused on winning. No, now you are focused on feeding whatever beast entered your system with the alcohol.

“Jungkook,” you start. “How do you feel about shenanigans?”

His head tilts to the side as he looks at you. “Shenanigans?”

“Do you trust me?”

He smiles and nods his head. “Lead the way, Captain,” he says with a salute.

Your fingers intertwine with his as you lead him out of the fraternity house and onto the streets.

“Shenanigans,” you say turning around to look at him, continuing to walk backwards, “are what happens after the party. Anything can be a shenanigan if you really set your mind to it.”

“And what does tonight have in store for us,” he asks.

“Well, Jungkook, I hope you’re hungry. Because it’s waffle time.”

“Lucky for you,” he laughs. “I’m always hungry.”

You laugh as well as you turn in a circle. When you stop your whirling, you find Jungkook’s arms braced, clearly ready to catch you.

“You’re going to fall, drunkie.”

“Please call me by my government name, Drunkard Joseph Montgomery Alabama the third.”

“Wow, that is a name.”

“Thank you, it was my father’s and his father’s before him.”

“Thus, the third.”

“Thus, the third,” You laugh.

The fluorescent lights of your local Waffle House should make Jungkook look slightly worse for wear as you know they are doing to you and as they do to most humans, but clearly Jungkook is not like the rest of the mere mortals that roam this Earth, because you swear to god his eyes sparkle as he looks at the plastic menu before him. He keeps switching between the breakfast and the lunch/dinner side of the menu, mumbling under his breath that his not sure which he’s in the mood for at the moment.

You do not face the same problem, as you order the All-Star breakfast every time. There has never been a moment where you have sat in these yellow booths and not wanted waffles. You figure if the establishment is named after a specific food, you should probably order that food, and you’re just about to tell Jungkook as much when he sets his menu down and looks up at you.

“I have decided,” he said, his tone serious.

“Do tell.”

“Burger,” he smiled.

“Wrong.”

His face falls at this. “Wrong?”

“We’re at Waffle House, the only right answer is waffles.”

“Wrong,” he responds, copying your tone from before. “They sell more than just waffles; therefore, you are meant to order things other than waffles as well.”

“Okay, IHOB.”

“What did you just call me?” he asks, his face breaking into a large smile.

“IHOB, as in the International House of Burgers,” you stick your tongue out, which earns a laugh from your companion. “When in Rome, order waffles.”

“I don’t think that’s the saying,”

“I don’t think this is a burger establishment.”

The waitress approaches your booth at this moment, and Jungkook quickly places his burger order, sticking his tongue out at you as she writes his burger on the ticket.

“And since I’m a responsible adult, I’ll be having the All-Star breakfast,” you said when it was your turn to order.

The waitress nods as she writes down your order, “Bacon, sausage, or ham.”

“Sausage, please.”

“Wrong,” Jungkook responds as the waitress walks away. “The only valid choice when bacon is an option is bacon.”

“Oh, grow up,” you roll your eyes. “Sausage is a valid option.”

He shakes his head, “Only when bacon isn’t available.”

“Pretty bold talk from a guy who might be asking me to choose his sausage later.”

He reddens at this, his eyes widening, but never leaving your face. The words were out of your mouth before you could think better, and you’re pretty sure the only reason you don’t get up and leave is because you’re still pretty drunk.

Jungkook shakes his head, as a smile spreads across his face. “I don’t think any bacon will be present at that moment, so sausage would be a valid choice.”

You can’t help but laugh at this, and Jungkook joins you. You talk about school after you calm down, and you’ve started to talk about your hometowns by the time the waitress brings your meals. You both shake your heads at the other’s order, causing the laughter to return, and it takes a few moments before you can actually begin to eat.

You’re almost finished with your waffle, when you realize everyone else in the restaurant is focused on the staff behind the counter. Jungkook is telling you a story about his older brother, but you can’t focus as you try and figure out what has everyone’s attention. You’re not sure if it’s the fact that you’re drunk, or the fact that talking to Jungkook comes so naturally, but you’ve completely missed the altercation brewing between the staff. Their voices get louder with each word, and before it can get any worse, you take money out of your wallet, quickly making sure that it is enough to cover both meals plus the tip and stand up. You reach for Jungkook’s hand, while he stares up at you dumbfounded, and you make your way for the door. You’re just about to make it out, when one of the employees finally makes contact with the other. You freeze at the action, and stand stunned, not sure if you’re waiting to see if he’s okay or if anyone will do anything to stop it. The next thing you know, the punched employee, is grabbing the other by the shirt and throwing him against the counter.

Jungkook takes action at this, pulling you out the door with him and through the parking lot. You turn to look at Jungkook with wide eyes, not sure how your shenanigan ended up quite like this.

“Holy shit,” he breathes, as he rakes a hand through his hair. “I guess that’s Waffle House at 2:00 a.m. for you.”

You can’t help but laugh at this, though you feel a bit of guilt considering how awful the situation is. Jungkook smiles at this and for that alone you’re glad that you laughed.

“Come on,” you say, as you look at your surroundings. “There’s a river around here, I want to show you.”

Jungkook follows, not having dropped your hand yet, and you walk like this in the direction of the park you like to go to sometimes. It’s pitch-black as you near the location, which causes you to grip Jungkook’s hand a bit tighter than before. If he’s as nervous as you, he doesn’t let on, but he does pull his phone from his pocket and turn his flashlight on, which you are thankful for. Your pace quickens after this, the excitement of showing Jungkook the river driving you forward, and when you arrive, you drop his hand before skipping towards the bank.

You turn around to face him, positively beaming as you stretch your arms as if to say here it is, the grand finale, and Jungkook matches your wide smile. He walks towards you, as you bend down to take your shoes off. When you look back up, he’s looking at you with confusion on his face.

“Well, I’m not going to wear my shoes into the water,” you answered.

“We’re going in the water?”

“Shenanigans, Jungkook. They’re not done yet,” you said, as you turned around and made your way into the river. The silence of the night is inviting, and you find yourself closing your eyes and leaning your head back in relaxation. You hear Jungkook wade in behind you, and you only open your eyes when his movement stops.

He’s looking at you and he smiles when your eyes meet his. “How did you find this place?”

“I used to babysit these kids freshmen year, and their mom took them to this park.”

“I haven’t really left campus that much,” he admits, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’d be nice to run here though.”

You nod in agreement, turning to look up at the few stars above. Jungkook reaches for your hand in the dark, and you reach back, feeling comforted by his presence here. You think for a moment that it’s nice that you two can just stand here in the silence like this, and you’re about to say something to that effect, when suddenly Jungkook sends a wave of water hurtling towards you. You’re shocked when you look down to see him crouched, ready to splash you again.

“Shenanigans,” he says, simply, as he launches another attack on you.

This time you’re prepared, and you block your face, though it does very little to help. Quickly, you’re crouching as well, not one to go down without a fight, and soon both of you are soaking wet and breathless. Jungkook’s hair hangs heavy around his face, water dripping from his black locks onto his cheeks, and you hate to even think about the state that your makeup is in now.

The smirk on Jungkook’s face, tells you all you need to know, and you shake your head in response. “I look like a monster, right?”

“You could convincingly be cast in a horror movie.”

You give him the middle finger at this, before trudging back to land. You’re about halfway back, when you hear Jungkook running after you, and as you turn around to see what he is doing, he’s wrapping his arms around your middle and picking you up.

“Jeon Jungkook!” you scream, as you pound at his back. “Put me down.”

He only laughs in response, carrying you the rest of the way to the shore. He finally complies with your demand, placing you underneath a tree. He sits down, and when you don’t immediately follow, he pats the space beside him, looking up at you with big eyes.

You chuckle as you join him at the base of the tree, and he smiles triumphantly.

“Maybe it’s too soon to call, but I think I might be better at shenanigans than you.”

You scoff. “You made me look like the grudge. That is foul play and not allowed during a night of shenanigans.”

“Oh, excuse me. I was under the impression that there was only one rule and that was to have fun.”

“I am not having fun.”

“You’re not?” he frowns. “I don’t know, seemed like you were having fun.”

“Nope, not anymore. I spent too much time and money on this makeup to consider this fun.”

“What a shame,” he smiles. “I kind of like this look.”

“Really?” you deadpan.

“Yeah, it says ‘just know that if you ever break up with me, I will murder your ass.’”

“Oh, good. That’s the energy I want to be putting out into the world.”

Jungkook laughs. “You’re very welcome for helping you achieve your truest form.”

You’re silent for a beat after this, both of you smiling widely at each other, and you think that you are in no rush to get home. You think that he may lean in and kiss you, because he keeps looking down at your lips, and he moves slightly forward, but his eyes completely leave yours, and he’s reaching for something on the ground instead.

You’re about to stand up and leave, your new found sobriety horrified that you might have just embarrassed yourself, but then Jungkook is looking at you again and smiling.

“A geode,” he said, bring a rock between the two of you. “My dad and I used to collect this when I was little.”

You nod your head, not sure what to say because your brain just keeps screaming about how much of an idiot you are but also how cute he is, and it’s too much for you to come up with a reasonable response.

“For you,” he smiles widely, as he reaches for your hand and places the rock into it. “Never forget our shenanigans.”

“Never,” you agree, bringing the hand holding the rock to your heart.

He beams at this and then stands up. “We should probably try and get home before the sun rises.”

You nod your head, though you don’t agree. You would stay out here until the sun set again if you got to keep talking to Jungkook. You begin the walk back to campus, showing Jungkook a shortcut you had found a few months ago, and when Jungkook should veer off to head back to his fraternity house, he keeps going straight with you. You try to fight the blush that creeps up your neck as you realize this.

He’s talking animatedly about something Taehyung did a few weekends ago when you finally make it to your apartment. He seems to hesitate for a moment, but then he’s smiling and staying firmly on his side of the hallway.

“Thanks for walking me back,” you said finally.

“Of course,” he nods. “I’ll see you around, yeah?”

You nod your head as well, a bit disappointed that yet again he isn’t attempting to kiss you, and you think for a moment that maybe this meant way more to you than it did to him.

“Tight,” he said. “Then I better get going. Goodnight, _____.”

“Goodnight, Jungkook.” You watched as he walked down the hallway towards the exit, and once he was out of sight you unlock the front door and make you way inside.

You sigh as you kick off your shoes and make your way further into the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of water. You’re taking your first sip when there’s a knock at the door. You check quickly to see who it is, and your heart races as familiar doe eyes stare back at you. Goosebumps cover your arms as you open the door.

“Sorry, I just-” he nervously rubs at the back of his neck. “I forgot something,” he said, as he closed the distance between the two of you and pulled you into a kiss. Your damp clothes rub awkwardly against your body, and Jungkook’s burger breath catches you more off guard than the kiss itself, yet still you melt in his arms, and you think this is the kind of thing people write songs about.

And when he’s pulling away, you think you want to capture the way he looks at you in a photo and look at it all day long.

“Goodnight again, _____.”

#Drink About #Jungkook fic #bts fic #bts writing #jungkook fanfic #jin fic #jin fanfic

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childrenoflight-darkness-nothing · 4 years

Note

Can you tell us 3 things about you? (Then send a similar ask to the last seven person in your notifications anonymously or not, if you feel like doing it) Let's get to know the person being the blog 💙!

Hrrrrm, three things

I’m terrified of heights, like full blown panic attack, hyperventilating, etc. terrified. And I often have to fly (mix fear of hieghts with general mistrust of everything and I am a mess on airplanes)... face your fears they said, it’ll be fun they said...

I couldn’t pronounce ‘Uncle’ when I was little, so my grandmother tried to get me to call my uncle, ‘unckie’ which led to me instead calling him monkey and it’s stuck to this day. The backstory of why my Uncle Tom will forever be given monkey related gifts at Christmas (not from me but my grandmother) and I’m really really really sorry

I used to absolutely hate writing, like even creative unstructured writing. But starting writing poetry to try and impress a boy, and have since fallen into a hole I can’t escape from. And no, please don’t rescue me I love writing.

#just the first random facts to pop in my head #thanks for the ask

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demyrie · 5 years

Text

On Comment Culture (fandom/fanfic/AO3/I’m an old)

It’s so fascinating to see the change in comment culture in fandom and the different stigmas or expectations associated with responding to comments over the years. In this essay? In this essay.

(Disclaimer: obviously creators and platforms had different subcultures of communication as well as social norms -- this is my experience and could help inform others of my ilk why some stuff is confusing them!)

Back in My Day! (Early Ots)

On FF.net, we responded to comments in the Notes but it was a hot mess. ohhhhh what a mess, shit, we had it pulled up in two different web browsers and were copy-pasting complicated screen names and ... wow. It was peak shout-out culture, keyboard smashing, and it was a thrill to see your s/n and get a WHATS UP OMG THANKS ^_^ ^_^ XD XD LOLZ in the Notes section. Wow. WowOmgLOL!!11111

Though I missed the boat on that platform, I know on LiveJournal it was a bit more back and forth because of the blog/thread structure and a hearty “thanks!” was always appreciated, and it was definitely a good way to find friends with common interests, but it was all super happenstance and unstructured. Just folks havin’ fun with few expectations.

Between Now and Then (and Including Then)

Look, fandom olds back me up on this. Responses were nice, but you still DIDN’T want to be the person who responded to every single comment because it showed ego -- you were obviously trolling your own page and leaping thirstily at every little keyboard smash, just wanting attention etc etc and you had to like ... chill. Author responses to big, overwhelming comments were appreciated but by no means expected.

Authors who responded to every single comment were childish and cared more about the attention than anything, and/or were wrongfully inflating their comment counts (which is commonly seen as a more "accurate" rating of a fics quality than likes). That kind of cult popularity status, and the diva creators, became tiring really quickly because this was about STORIES damnit. Give me your STORY stop making this about YOU and clogging up the A/N with nonsense responses longer than the actual CHAPTER! AHHHH! (Fandom olds back me up on this? Or maybe just ... old Virgos...?)

Now

As a fandom old reintroduced to the fanfic environ a year ago, I realized there’s a comment/discussion culture in AO3 where responses to comments are more or less expected and discussion is super common, where it’s never been before.

We never had the “facilities” for back-and-forth discussion on most fanfic servers (lj excepted) and so, as a fandom old, I get perturbed when I see a “[AO3] Response to your comment!” in my inbox because I’m scratching my head like ... that was for you. I made those words and gave them to you because I loved your writing. Why are you saying something back???? Did I say something wrong??? Why would you take the time to ...???? ***CONSTERNATION****

99% of the time it’s literally just people being jubilant and appreciating my appreciation, and of course I get really jazzed whenever 1) a personal friend yells back at me over their fic because then we’re just fuckin’ stanning in public or 2) a writer I really admire waves at me, but it still throws me for a loop because the expectations are just so different now. It’s more like a chat room than an "altruistic" (right word?) review based solely on the content/enjoyment of the fic, where people actively expect and then become disappointed or feel jilted when they don’t receive personal feedback from the creator. It seems to be a strong enough social expectation that, when unmet, it may determine whether the person comments in the future. So, like, to me, that is wild, but I’ve also been absent for about 7 years so ... life (fandom) finds a way, right?

With that culture shift in mind, I wanna say that I can’t respond to comments pretty much ... ever now, and for a variety of reasons :(

Mostly, it’s time and energy, because I’m SO GODDAMN BLESSED and have so many sweet folks reading my BNHA dad trash and OH I’m so lucky but also, wow time management and stress and Not Very Adult but Try So Hard OK. It’s definitely fun to play that way, and interact, but it takes a staggering amount of energy over time and quickly becomes an unmet expectation in my mind that triggers my anxiety like Boy Howdy when I’m already juggling stuff. Which in turn affects my ability to write, which in turn affects my ability to participate in fandom, which in turn ... [that whistling noise that accompanies Warner Bros. characters falling off a cliff]

So! Just because I don’t respond directly to your comments doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate your appreciation, young fanfic folks!

I understand that we’re speaking different languages sometimes. I was not part of your culture and i don’t have the resources to assimilate seamlessly, but I do hope you enjoy my work in your own way! Go for it! Read and then fap, read and do the dishes, talk about it to your friends or just smile and log off and go to sleep! Fandom, for me, is about enjoying things, so enjoy enjoy enjoy <3

That’s why we do this, after all. We tell stories that we want to see and delight in others delighting, and for those who are inclined, comments are always SO inspiring to your fandom creators -- long essays, keyboard smashing, all of the above <3 <3 They are crack. They are the most likely chemical reagent that will lead to a product of More (excited) Content. They help us feel appreciated for the work that we do, they help us feel motivated to continue to do that same work, and they make us scream real loud, and we love you for even the weirdest, 3am, redbull rant ... even if, per expectations, we don’t get to answer all of them.

Thank you for reading, thank you for commenting, thank you for fanning with me!!! I love writing BDSM dads and have had no fewer than 1.3M comments of people spilling their hearts to me about their personal experiences in a way that makes me ugly sob and just feel so crushingly grateful???

So thank you. I’m so happy in this fandom and appreciate you all so much! So!!! THANK YOU <3

I dearly hope you and I cross in a tumblr or twitter barrage someday and I get to personally thank you for reading and/or commenting, but for now, take this utterly accurate depiction of my love for you (you’re the one biting my face, sorry to @ you but it’s true):

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diabolik-lovers-box · 5 years

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Hello! Could I have a matchup please? I’m an INFJ, Scorpio and I’m 1,54! I can be really pessimistic about my own life but I always try to cheer my friends up and even though I have really low self esteem and can’t really take compliments I’m always complimenting my friends and lifting their spirits! I can be quite rude and cold if I don’t like the person but I like to believe I’m sweet and caring to my friends! (Even if I might be a bit cold to them too because I’m a mess at expressing and understanding feelings and emotions) I also love silly puns, memes and vines! I really love dancing, cosplaying and acting! I dislike studying and school and what it represents in general but I force myself to itAlso my least favorite brother is probably Reiji! ^^’ (I’m so sorry if this got too long ;;)

Your first match: Ayato Sakamaki!

I really think Ayato needs someone who can offer emotional support and fun while also put some structure to his pretty unstructured life. You seem to be someone who can do that. You’re a pretty emotional and insightful person, but you also have the ability to make a plan and stick to it. I think that would make you a good partner for Ayato. In addition, I think he would find your lighthearted nature and interests as entertaining and amusing. I don’t really think, on his own, that he spends much time on the internet or stuff like that, but I think he would find it pretty entertaining if you introduced it to him.

Your second match: Kino!

First things first, Kino’s probably one of the only brothers who keeps up or knows about current trends. He’s always on his phone playing games and stuff like that so I think the two of you would be able to bond over funny stuff you find on the internet. I really think he tends to get lonely so I think he needs someone who give off a very compassionate, companion-like feel to them, and I think you do just that.

Your third match: Kou Mukami!

I think your ability to patient and understanding of people will play a key role in your relationship with Kou. I think he needs someone who can be both serious and playful. Also, I think he would find your height adorable, since you’re on the shorter side. He pretends to be optimistic, but I really think he’s more on the pessimistic side, so I think it would be good to have you around, someone who can truly better his mood!

#diabolik lovers #dl #match ups #ayato sakamaki #kino #kou mukami #submission

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pentacop · 6 years

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Scenario: Realisation (Shinwon)

Genre: Shinwon x Reader, Fluff

Tw: Anxiety mention

Summary: You've been dealing with anxiety and have stayed home for a few days. Your boyfriend's communicative competences have levelled down.

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"I'm busy rn. I'll text you later, okay?"

You're eyes glossed over the received text message and you let out a big sigh. Your body felt thousand of kilograms heavier than it really was, while your head was as unbearably abundant. You rolled over on your back staring meaninglessly at the ceiling of your messy bedroom. Plates, cutlery, coffee mugs were stapled unstructured on your work table as you hadn't done the dishes yet. Clothes were hanging of the work chair and the fabrics that couldn't uphold themselves due to gravity hung of the chair and some were scattered all over the floor. You put your cold, puny hands on your eyes and sigh a little more.

You lay there, completely angsty and exhausted just from thinking about the turmoil that had healthily infested itself in your home and yourself. You lay your hands on your stomach that has become quite hungry. The day was nearing its end as darkness succumbed the brighter pink and purple hues in the sky. The text message popped into your head again, while removing the heavy blanket from your now sweaty body. You sigh, this time more annoyed as you closed your tired eyes. The sudden vibration from your mobile phone gave you a small fright but it didn't hinder your quick reflex or urge to check the notification.

"Omw, you need anything?"

"I don't need anything, when will you be here?"

"Within a 30 min or so, see you soon"

You got up from bed rather hastily while searching for a towel. You hadn't been out of the apartment for some days and you hadn't bathed since the end of the previous week. As you hurried you slipped and fell, very ungracefully, scraping you left knee. You cursed and hissed as you grabbed your wound, you quickly recovered and sped into the bathroom.

You legitimately jumped out of your clothes, put it in the laundry basket as you waited for the shower to turn to the right temperature. You stepped into the shower and let the water hit you for about a minute. The water made a beautiful curve along your back as you took time to collect your thoughts and emotions. You combed your hair quickly, which made it kinda rough. You put shampoo in your hair and put a shower cap over your hair as you were in a hurry to wash you body with soap.

The shower itself took about 7 minutes since you wanted to be able to clean the apartment before the arrival of your significant other. But just as you wrapped yourself in your towel you hear the front door close.

"Fucking shit." You murmur quietly.

"Honey? Where are you?" The door to the bathroom opens and there he stood, glancing right back at you in his outerwear he had yet to remove. You fidget nervously, feeling a bit awkward.

"Hey babe, I'll put on some clothes. Just wait in the living room for me, okay?" You give him a sweet smile while cupping his cheek. He returned the smile and proceeded to kiss your forehead. "Cool, I brought you pizza. Thought you were hungry." He closed the door behind him and you started drying and dressing yourself.

As you were getting ready you heard his voice through the wall. "Y/n? Why is your room so dirty and what's with all the dishes?" You answered him in a pointy tone. "Shinwoniiiee! I thought I told you to wait in the living room!" You slung the bathroom door open and went into the bedroom.

"What's wrong? Me being in your room isn't usually a problem?" He raised his brow in confusion. The thoughts and emotions you thought were collected came up like a raging typhoon. In anger and fury you threw the towel and shower articles on the bed.

"Because you haven't even been here for a month, Shinwon! You've been hard to get ahold of and you wouldn't respond to neither my text messages or my phone calls! Hey Mr. Know-It-All, maybe if you knew what I've been going through and how hard I've had it, just maybe, it would all make sense?! I've been so anxious all this time and you just didn't care! But I guess, Mr. Idol here doesn't have any common sense to contact his girlfriend at all!"

Your yelling echoed throughout the home, you were so furious that your sight became blurry from the tears that had spawned from your weary eyes. Your boyfriend stood in front of you mildly shocked and to say the least, speechless. You sat down on the end of the bed and stared down at your feet without saying anything. You felt the bed move, he now sat right beside you.

His hand slowly made its way towards yours and then you felt a warm presence on the back of your cold hand. He squeezed your hand while finally breaking his silence.

"I'm sorry for neglecting you, darling. You're absolutely right, I could've done more to make some time to contact you at the very least." His voice was very hoarse, you decided to look at his face. He too was teary eyed and he broke down crying. "I didn't mean to leave you lonely or make you anxious, the new promotions just had me worn out. I'm sorry, I promise I'll do better in the future. Please, forgive me. I love you more than anything." He almost couldn't finish his sentence without hics and sniffs. He leaned his forehead against yours, wrapping his arms around you for a tight hug.

You reach to cup his face, staring adoringly. You pull him in for a kiss and kept pecking his face with litters of kisses. "Shinwonie, you're forgiven. I love you too, dear." Reassuringly said, you wipe the tears of his face and grab his hands. The grieving expression left his face as he let out a laugh. He returned the amount of kisses you had given him and pulled you up for a longer hug.

"Jagiya, I might be the messiest person you know. But I'll help you clean this mess up, okay?" He gave you the brightest smile you've seen in a long time. Quite honestly it made you weak in the knees, so you leaned your weight against him for support. Burying your face in his chest you quietly utter thank you.

#pentagon #ptg #pentagon shinwon #ptg shinwon #go shinwon #shinwon go #ko shinwon #shinwon ko #tw: anxiety mention #pentagon fluff #pentagon scenario #pentagon fanfiction #kpop fanfiction #kpop boys #kpop scenario

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