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chuchayucca · 30 days

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Tbh I'm surprised nobody else has brought up the idea of Richard being abused too

It feels like a lot of potential for it and an explanation (aside from their status) as to why Roy never got help for it either -- Richard thought it was normal.

Now this is just making me imagine a scene where Carmen remarks that Roy will "grow out of it" (it being his behavior) like Richard did in front of the other Hatz and Ross and Robert just share a Look

Anddd now I'm wondering how much Carmen knows

TW for discussions of fictional CSA/SA and mentions of alcoholism

Me too, I thought it would be an obvious assumption but I guess not.

Exactly, I’ve seen the fandom explore Carmen and Roy’s relationship regarding his CSA but never with Richard. I think it’s ashamed because there’s a lot you can write for the relationship, even outside of their CSA.

Omg that’s a good scene idea. The Hatzgang are realized there is a deeper issue, and Roy has to unfortunately unpack that generational trauma. I can see how learning his dad is a possible CSA victim, like him, starts pushing Roy to tell his parents but also discourages him because basically Richard unknowingly knew Roy was SA but never recognized it because he doesn’t know he was SA too. I also believe Richard normalized his brother’s actions too. It’s truly devastating how Richard indirectly contributed to the normalization of Roy’s abuse but he doesn’t know it’s SA. He believes those fun “games” him and his brother played were normal family bonding activities and is happy to hear his son is getting along with his brother, a brother he admired when growing up.

These headcanons might change as the series continues and the deeper I get into research.

I headcanon Carmen doesn’t know anything but has suspected something was off a few times. She never thought anything of Richard’s behavior at first because he alway been this way. When they became adults, she started questioning as Richard still had issues with intimacy at that point in their relationship and his alcoholism was at its worst. (Short ver: Richard started drinking at a young age to cope with trauma of his SA and the Uncle encouraged this, buying him alcohol for various reasons. Modern day, Richard is a functional alcoholic but has gotten better with his drinking)

As of the moment, Roy’s parents are unaware of Roy’s CSA. The day the Uncle died, Roy did get in trouble but for separate reasons. Carmen and Richard were mad at Roy for hanging out with “plebeians” and sending them to one of his uncle’s private properties. Roy doesn’t feel comfortable telling them yet because they’re snobby, judgmental people, so he assumes they won’t react well.

#sorry if the length bothers you #This idea has been taking up my brain #There is so much to unpack about this idea like Richard’s life in the past. the generational truama. and Roy’s life in the present #I also want to apologize if some headcanons are poorly implemented. I feel there was certain headcanons I have that wouldn’t make sense-#without other pre-lore headcanons to explain them and I didn’t know to add them smoothly #I have so many thoughts for this AU they obviously focus on Richard’s youth and Roy in current #I’m currently interested in fleshing out Richard’s youth and how he dealt with the CSA without knowing it #Especially the social side of like being a boyfriend and having dumbass friends who also are dealing with their own issues. develop their-#own terrible habits. and encourage one another toxic behaviors because they were stupid teenagers #I do have a scene in mind when Roy eventually tells Carmen and Richard about his SA and have written a little for it #Like I’d mentioned there’s a lot of potential with this AU and I want to see the fandom talk about Roy and Richard’s relationship-#More so regarding their CSA experiences. I believe it can be a powerful story to write #Though one thing I don’t like about it is how I have to write for the Uncle and give him a character #just a awful character to write for #eugh #BTW I do have a sensitive reader for this AU but criticism is still very much welcome #spooky month #spooky month roy #spooky month carmen #spooky month richard #answered asks #ChuchaYucca.text #tw csa mention #tw csa #tw sa mention #tw sa #tw alchoholism

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bestagons · 5 days

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What Dan and Phil Text Each Other 4 + Familect (article)

#dan and phil #amazingphil #daniel howell #danisnotonfire #phil lester #this idea has been cooking in my brain for literally MONTHS but this weekend was literally the first day off i've had since JANUARY #which is so cruel and unusual don't get me started but anyways #and also the first time they haven't dropped something unhinged that i felt compelled to run through photoshop #also it took forever because originally i was going to do all the WDAPTEOs so like i pulled clips from 2 3 and 4 #and didn't end up using any of the ones i pulled from 2 and 3 so guess i just wasted some time there #so it didn't take me actually as long to put together the actual set but like i spent a solid 5 hours working on the general project #tbf though the videos are 20 minutes long so like an hour was just watching to get the time stamps #and i didnt want to miss one by putting it on higher playback speed bc some of them are really quick #well congrats if you made it this far in my fucking tags essay about this post #this is like a 'stick around after the episode for a look behind the scenes' segment #hexagifs

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hiso03 · 4 months

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what makes you ship halbarry, mine is the amount of symbolism and moments they manifest about them being compatible with each other and even the main lore knows theybare one😭😭

sometimes I wonder why these two aren't together yet since they are basically soulmates 😭😭

This is probably the question I have been waiting for the most and for which I have to have the longest possible answer. I will try not to go too far, but I will also try not to miss any points that I consider important.

I think I can start by saying that I love their dynamic, I've always liked it. To start Barry is a more serious guy, shy and introverted, always thinking about some situation and planning. And Hal is more outgoing, noisy and confident, he NEVER plans and is too impulsive.

They are opposing poles, not radically opposed as with other characters in the league, but they remain opposing enough to provide contrast to the relationship. There's also the fact that the two of them are fully aware of those differences, and even though they don't like some at all, they've never tried to change anything between them. Even when people constantly point out how different they are and how no one understands how they are friends. (Even they can't understand how they're so close if they don't resemble each other at all)

(Personally this panel is one of my favorites, as I love how Hal immediately jumps up to Barry's tastes, making it clear that while he doesn't like to do the same things Barry does, he doesn't find it as bad or boring as some might think.)

In general, the series of “The brave and the bold” I like because it allows you to take a close look at their relationship and give us lots of interactions of them, allows us to see a little more of their real character and their friendship.

There is also the fact that in that series they constantly show how well they know each other Hal and Barry manage to combine their skills to help each other. They always take advantage of each other's ability to resolve conflicts, and even when they fight or argue, they resolve them quickly. Another of my favorite numbers is the last volume of the series, when Barry falls into a terrible and painful depression and Hal is the only one who supports him.

Literally Hal tries to have some stability in his life to let Barry stay with him, helps him like Barry has always helped him and says one of the phrases I love the most.

“The poor man needs something to hold on to, so he will stay with me, maybe our friendship will be a comfort to him, he will always be able to count on that until the day we die.”

In this same comic is where Barry tries to sacrifice himself and Hal stops him, to that I add that in a previous issue we also show that one of Hal's biggest fears is losing Barry. The thought of seeing him die or get hurt is something that scares him.

Hal's not afraid to die, he's afraid that Barry will die and it's his fault, that I can't save him. And that point added to everything that's going on with Parallax and Crisis on Infinite Earths feels like a stab for both of them.

It's fucking tragic.

Generally in many moments of Hal as Parallax or The Wraith, Hal talks about Barry, continues to talk about how amazing he was as a person and a hero, talks about how he remains his best friend even though Barry is still dead. (That reminds me a lot of when I'm with my friends and some of them start talking about their boyfriends even though they're not there and we didn't talk about them originally)

And when they both revive, Barry constantly lets him know that everything that happened with Parallax wasn't him and tries to support him, try to be there for him for as long as he couldn't help him when his friend needed him the most.

We also have the fact that Barry has canonically been a blue lantern, and well, hope and willpower isn't exactly two opposing poles, on the contrary, it's likely that both entities are reciprocal forces. That they stick together and support each other, just like Hal and Barry do.

I also like to think that they had a somewhat similar childhood.

Both lost a father or mother, and that led to the loss of the rest of their family and childhood, they had to grow up faster than the other children, became more independent, and soon discovered that the world was cruel and unjust.

Although we also have other universes like:

The universe of Injustice where the two of them continue to support each other and remain together despite the mess that is around them, and there is even a panel where Hal as a yellow lantern is going to rescue Barry after Constantine abducted him.

Or we also have the fact that red and green in the chromatic circle are two opposite or complementary colors that are usually used when you want to create a harmony on a visual level. That is, from the choice of colors we can know perfectly well that they are opposite poles, but they complement each other so well that it creates a visual harmony when you see them together. (For some reason Christmas usually uses these two colors as its main ones).

There's also the fact that Hal and Barry met before the league was formed, and even when they met Batman and Superman, Hal wanted him and Barry to work it out on their own. (Barry refused because someone has to put prudence on their duo)

And we have the fact that in the story of how they met, Hal calls it his “first date”. (Let's pretend he didn't say that when he and Barry weren't literally on what looked like a date, where they went to dinner at a restaurant where there was live jazz music and Hal actually had a good time sitting on Barry's cell phone).

(Hal hates jazz, but he's still there with Barry at a dinner party while putting up with music he doesn't really like. That's pretty.)

I think it was also in this comic where Hal lets Barry use his ring to get you both out of there.

There's also universe 36 where we have two variants of Green Lantern and Flash that canonically speaking are couple. It is worth remembering that the two of them did not stay together, since in an event they participated in, the Flash of their universe dies. (It seems there can't be a crisis without a sprinter dying) Luckily at DC Pride they made the green lantern of their land look for their Flash, and they revived and were happy.

(They're supposed to be neither Hal nor Barry, but the truth, their designs and even their names feel like very inspired by them, so I scored it as a little extra point although I don't know if you can consider it).

We have DC vampires that although in that universe, Hal kills Barry because they won't let him turn him into a vampire because he would end up killing everybody. Hal finally gives us that line where he admits that he REALLY wanted to conquer the world with Barry, which kind of fuels his tragic gay romance.

Anyway, I would like to go longer, but I can't find some panels that I was looking for to explain me more, plus I feel that this is already long enough and meaningless to make it clear that I love them both. I just want to add that I think probably the thing I like most about them is that they both admire each other. Both their heroic parts and their civilian parts, and I think that's very sweet and nice, added to the fact that they're always there trying to support each other or show off parts of their personality that you can't appreciate with all their friends to the same extent. I like that they always have symbolism and like many times in the comics it refers to some moments that they have lived together. This makes me have the theory in my head that maybe some cartoonists and writers also like them in a sense beyond friendship, but since NOBODY dares to take the leap of faith and make them canon, they let us drop some crumbs so as not to lose faith.

(If anyone got here, thank you so much for reading all this even though it doesn't make much sense in some parts, I apologize for that and make up for it with some panels of them two)

#hal jordan #barry allen #green lantern #dc comics #halbarry #i love them #sorry for the bad English #Mentions to 80s comics #Mentions of parallax and some comic book or comic book events #sorry if this doesn't make sense in some parts #but my brain has been a little fuzzy lately and I'm having a hard time thinking clearly.#but I really wanted to answer the question because I am very excited to talk about them.#maybe later I will take up some of the ideas I mention or redo this post with more clarity and detail.

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r26yz · 2 months

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white day for @0t0nai

#procreate #type : fanart #genshin impact #gi #diluc ragnvindr #kaeya alberich #kaeya #diluc #kaeluc #modern diluc meet canon kaeya but not a lot of drama #kinda #up to you #i read your prompt and the idea has been rotting my brain since #please take responsibility

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emmafallsinlove · 1 year

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you're a bandit like me eyes full of stars

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thegreathomestuckreread · 9 months

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the worst thing about doing Arts and Crafts is when you have a very specific idea and you do not have the supplies to make it Right Now Immediately

#my brain has been distractingly buzzing about this idea for like three days now because /i can't start it yet/#don't have the yarn #but this one project is taking up at least 50% of my thought real estate every fucking day #i have prepared about as much as i can without having the yarn yet #but i am going to Michael's Arts and Crafts Store tomorrow to get specifically the yarn i need for this project #and then i'm on a moratorium from Buying Things because i am fucking unemployed and i need to Stop #personal

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b4kuch1n · 5 months

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what if I stream tonite. for dragon business

#bakuspeech #taking one (1) day break from comm bc my brain was starting to melt outta my ears #and try to figure out some lunar new year stuff instead #it is now a new year and the red envelope duty has come around once again #second year. I drew cats for the niblings last year. its dragons this time around #and since its like 20 red envelopes I can Probably fix up and assemble the myself #I dont. like the idea of buying red envelopes. esp since there will be like A Doller inside lmao #I'd rather use the card envelopes with something scribbled on top rather than buy red envelopes. idk Im a weirdo abt this #but yeah. dragons first. and then I'll see if the shrink film I have is printable #if not I'll do stickers. I still have sticker paper #thats the plan. I'll probs bring up all the shit that happened to or around me in 2023 on stream lmao #and see if my friends are good to hang out on stream with me #okay. alright. uhhh probs I'll try and be live at 8pm (in 3hrs)? been a slow day Ive done nothing but walking very slowly around the house #mmm. have a good day guys. perhaps see u on stream. lets have fun

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merrilark · 1 month

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!!!!!!!!!!!

Gonna!!!!! Have my first Japanese class this Thursday!!

#you guys have no idea how long i've wanted to take a proper japanese course #i wanted it in highschool but had to take spanish bc that was all they offered.#then i wanted to take it in college but they didn't have it there either so i took french.#and!! don't get me wrong spanish and french are fun but japanese has always been a language i've been super interested in.#hiragana / katakana / kanji really lights up the artist part of my brain i think. i love how it looks.#sdfklsk that is not the reason i want to learn it. i genuinely just think the language & culture is lovely & i would like to visit japan.#tried to teach myself for years through w/e books or free apps i could find but i don't think my brain is made for self-teaching language.#esp one that is so different from english. spanish? okay fine. it's easy and i think i can generally guess how something is pronounced.#japanese?? i could maybe teach myself to read but i think i'd butcher speaking.

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puhpandas · 9 months

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Take Me Home 1, 2

(to see new chapters release, sub on ao3 :))

(3227 words)

When Cassie wakes for the second time, it's not with a pounding head and limbs as heavy as iron. No. This time, her awareness of the world rolls in smoothly, and all she feels when she wakes fully is faint buzzing throughout her body.

She revels in it; the fact that theres no pain. She doesn't think too hard about why, she just shifts, moving to stretch her limbs, but hisses when going to move her arm sends a wave of soreness pain up her arm.

She grits her teeth, yelping and suddenly re-entering the world fully when the pain throws her into alertness.

Her eyes shoot open, and she moves to sit up in bed, heart racing when all she can remember is last being in the dark, dingy, falling apart Pizzaplex, but she calms when all she can see is someone's bedroom.

"...Huh?" She mumbles, her mind still not having fully caught up to her yet. She glances around the room, painted a pale blue, with furniture tucked against the neighboring walls and flowing curtains covering most of the sunlight filtering through the window, a light breeze ruffling them.

Movement catches her attention in the corner of her eye, and she glances over just in time for Gregory to snort awake, eyes trailing across her, not really seeing her, until they blow wide in recognition.

"Cassie!" Gregory exclaims, rushing to stand up from the position he was in where he had been sitting in a chair, laying his head in his arms, hunched over on the bed. "You're finally awake!"

Cassie feels her heart warm when she realizes that Gregory had been waiting for her to wake up by her bedside, never leaving her prescence. Long enough for him to fall asleep. Her heart slows to a normal rate when she sets eyes on him, immediately feeling at ease, and she breaths a deep breath, shifting to sit up more and allowing Gregory to help her when he rushes over.

She hisses when the movement jostles her leg and arm, and she finally takes a good look at them, realizing that at some point, in her sleep, her cardigan had been taken off, leaving her in her button-up, and her shoes and socks had been discarded, leaving her in her dark purple tights and shorts.

Gregory notices her staring at her foot, which is propped up on a pillow, peeking out from under the thick comforter, with some sort of makeshift splint made from cloth wrapped around the ankle.

"We had to improvise." He informs her, that lopsided grin Cassie'd always see in her dreams and on her homemade missing posters stretched on his face. "Ness cant exactly take the chance of getting involved with authority."

Cassie furrows her brows, her mind still kind of foggy from her -what she guesses- long sleep. "Ness?"

Gregory perks up. "Oh. It's a nickname we use for Vanessa a lot. Y'know, that blonde girl that was with us in the pizzeria?"

Cassie nods in recognition, remembering her blonde ponytail with rainbow streaks. "Yeah, um... how exactly did--"

She gets cut off when the door clicks open, and speak of the devil. "Oh, you're awake." Vanessa peeks her head in the room, a smile on her face when she sees Cassie sitting up and awake. "We were just making dinner, and I wanted to see if you were up."

"Um..." Cassie trails off. "Dinner?" She settles on.

Gregory senses her uncertainty, and settles a hand on her shoulder. "Vanessa's makin' chicken alfredo. And since you're awake, now you can finally eat."

Her stomach rumbles as if on queue, and her cheeks redden. Gregory has no problem laughing at her. "How long has it been?"

Cassie tries to think. "A few hours before you came and got me, since I ran to the Pizzaplex as soon as I got the message. So... that plus however long I slept for."

"Eighteen hours." Vanessa supplies helpfully.

Cassies eyebrows shoot up to her hairline. "Eighteen hours?!" She exclaims.

Gregory laughs, and Vanessa just looks at her with a crooked smile that reminds her of Gregory's. "Yup. You were exhausted physically and emotionally, and were injured, kiddo. The fact that you slept for so long checks out."

Gregory giggles. "Remember when we first got back, you slept for twenty-one."

Vanessa rolls her eyes. "I think I had a perfectly good reason to sleep the whole day away. Unlike you." She points two fingers from her eyes to Gregory. "Its not my fault you have the same amount of energy as a hyperactive dog."

"You mentioned a dog! So is the dog talk working?" Gregory asks, smugly. "Come on, Ness. Just concede. Its only a matter of time before you cave."

Cassie just watches, unsure of what to do when Gregory and Vanessa talk. Theres a grin on Gregory's face, not one she's used to. Not like the mischievous, pointed ones when Gregory was brewing something up, or the slight, hopeful ones, when Cassie would talk about when they got older, and she and Gregory could work towards getting a car and finally being able to give Gregory a life where he doesnt have to worry, and they can just live. Just a few more years, they'd always say.

This one is easy. Its gentle, with no kind of edge to be detected, and it looks so right on his face. It doesn't look forced, it doesnt look rare. Cassie can tell just by looking that Gregory has smiled like this often, and hes been allowed to be used to it. To smile without the quirk of worry.

It warms Cassies heart, to see that theres been change. But it also hurts.

Because he'd been away for so long, and although Cassie is so, so glad to have him back, she can't help but wonder why he never reached out to her. If he'd been able to smile so easily like this, while she couldn't muster one at times, too empty from his absence.

"I can barely take care of you and Freddy, kid." Vanessa points out, and Cassie is thrown back into reality. "And now I got another destroyed animatronic to fix and another kid. Not even mentioning a dog."

Cassie gasps, big and sudden at Vanessa's words. "Roxy!" She exclaims, and she winces when her voice rasps, and her dry throat burns from dehydration. "Roxy! Where is she? Is--Is she okay?!"

When Cassie starts to shift, arms moving to roll the comforter off of herself and somehow leave the bed, Gregory and Vanessa both rush to gently push her back down.

"Its okay, Cassie." Gregory says in that soft voice of his where it feels like it's only reserved for Cassie. "Shes in parts and service. While you were asleep, we wanted to fix her up a little, so we took turns watching you and fixing Roxy up."

Cassie feels the tension melt off of her body when she hears that Roxy is here, and has been fixed a little, but she still furrows her brows in confusion at 'parts and service', because are they not in a house right now?

Cassie can see Vanessa roll her eyes and go to explain. "He means that shes in one of the spare rooms we use to work on animatronics." Vanessa tells her. "We used it to build Freddy a body, and once Freddy started calling it parts and service, Gregory jumped on it, and it just stuck."

Cassie nods slowly, taking in the influx of information that she cant fully sort through right now. "So thats why Freddy didnt have a head."

"Do you want to see her?" Gregory asks. "Roxy, I mean. I'm suprised she hasnt barged in here already. I had to fight her to get her to trust me and Ness enough to work on her and watch you."

Cassie smiles, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. Because Roxy is so worried about her, and Cassie is happy that she cares, but shes upset that Roxy and Gregory are so hostile towards eachother. "Yeah. Um. I would like to see her."

Gregory nods, and smiles. "Kay. She wont look the exact same, since I tried my best to restore her some, but at least she isnt about to fall apart."

Vanessa leaves the room with a curse, and Cassie ignores the slight burning smell coming from outside the door. "...Okay. Just... when you get her, can we have some alone time?"

Gregory nods, halfway out the door. "Okay. Sure. I'll be right back, okay?"

"Okay." She says, and then Gregory is gone.

Cassie breathes deep, playing with the frayed edges of the comforter when theres nothing else to do. She can hear the clattering of kitchen utensils from further in the house, and hushed voices.

The silence stretches further in her room, and when Gregory doesnt return, not right away, Cassie can feel her chest tighten, and something grip her lungs.

She breathes harshly through her nose, and notices how her hands begin to shake slightly.

Something grabs at her chest, something akin to panic, feeling like a giant hand and squeezing.

Gregory. Is all she can think about. He said he'd be right back. Where is he? He shouldn't have been gone this long, right?

Have I lost him again?

She squeezes her eyes shut, trying really hard to keep still, to keep calm, but her brain is jumbled, like its tied itself in knots, and all she can think about is how Gregory isn't here with her.

She has half the mind to get up, to tear through the house to search for him, to make sure she hasnt lost him again, that she wont have to look for him again. But one look at her ankle thats wrapped in cloth and she knows it isnt possible.

She makes a pitiful noise, breaths huffing out of her mouth now, short and heavy, and Gregory hasnt come back yet, and she cant do a thing about it.

It's only when Gregory pops his head back through the door, nudging it open with a creak that Cassie is ripped away from her thoughts and actually realizes how much shes panicking.

Gregory steps inside, a smile on his face, mouth open ready to speak, but it drops right off as soon as he sees Cassie.

Cassie cant find it in her to speak when Gregory rushes over to her, asking if shes okay. Her brain feels like its fogged over, or like its signal is blocked, and she cant think enough to respond to his questions.

All she can do is reach out to him when relief overwhelms her, enough for tears to slip past her lashes, and Gregory pauses in his rapid fire questions, seeming to understand something.

"I'm here, Cassie." He tells her, getting on the bed with her. He let's her wrap her arms around him and squeeze him as much as she needs when she moves to. "I'm not leaving again, okay? I'll be here with you. Nothings going to take me away from you. You arent going to lose me."

Cassie relishes in the reassurance. It reaches past all of the fog into some part of her brain, and it's like hosing down a wildfire. Her breathing slows down as she soaks up the feeling of Gregory right here, with her, and not going anywhere.

The panic that gripped her heart loosens some, and shes finally able to breathe, breathing deep breaths when Gregory does too.

"Sorry." She says after a moment, wiping at her eyes. "I dont... I dont know why that happened. I, um..."

"Separation anxiety." Gregory says, and Cassie startles. When shes finally able to unfuse herself with Gregory enough to look at his face, he has a knowing, serious expression on his face. "I had my rodeo with it, too... me and Freddy didnt have too good of a time with it."

Cassie furrows her brows, and it feels like she has ten thousand more questions added to the pile to ask, but Gregory stops her before she can speak.

"I'll tell you another time, okay?" He says, gesturing to the door where Roxy stands, waiting patiently for someone who was, when she last checked, willing to rip apart the guy Cassie just hugged to death. "Just... I promise I'll help you with it, okay? I dont think I'll be too different from you, after trying to reach you all night, and also..."

His eyes glaze over some, looking like a thousand different memories are playing over them, but he shakes it off, offering one more smile. "Itll be fine, okay? I'm gonna go make you a plate, cuz I think dinners ready, and you can talk to Roxy. Sound good?"

Cassie doesnt know what's wrong with her, because she almost tears up again at Gregory's words, because hes being so kind, and so understanding. She shouldn't be surpised, she guesses, Gregory had always found a way to catch her off guard with kindness when she'd been so used to being brushed off or disliked.

She nods, smiling back ag him, and he offers a thumbs up, moving past Roxy and shutting the door behind him.

It's only now that Cassies able to fully pay attention to Roxy, and she gasps, almost not recognizing her.

Before, she hadn't had anything resembling a face. Just her endoskeleton skull exposed due to broken casing. But now, she somehow has her face casing back. The colors are a little off, and it looks dusty and unused, but she looks like herself. Her last remaining strands of hair are fuller now, some new strands added. They've been shifted, too, styled to look adjacent to her old style, just shorter.

Her body isnt much different, one of her arms has its forearms back, a bright, clean purple compared to her filthy leg warmers, and she has her other foot back, just a larger size and different color.

But the most prominent change are definitely the eyeballs, glowing blue LED's, stuck securely in their sockets.

Cassie laughs disbelievingly, joyously, putting her hands up to her mouth with a wide smile.

"Roxy!" She exclaims. "You have eyes again!"

It's only now, when Roxy laughs along with her, that Cassie realizes her voice box has been replaced, too. Cassie laughs even more when Roxys voice filters through, sounding happy, instead of angry, no warbling or static to be found.

Roxy heads to her bedside, and shes walking much more surely, now. Not like her long, wide strides, always careful to not collide with something. She sways from side to side, ever confident in her looks.

"How do I look?" Roxy asks, fluttering her eyelashes now that she has some again and fluffing her new hairdo up with her hand. "The brat gave me a makeover."

Cassie giggles. "You look beautiful, Roxy."

"I know." Roxy says, but then turns her attention towards Cassie. "How are you doing, Speed racer?" Roxy asks, voice soft. "That elevator couldnt have felt good."

Cassie shakes her head, gesturing to her splinted arm and ankle. "Nope, but... Gregory and Vanessa fixed me up pretty good. I'm not hurting that much."

"I'm glad." Roxy smiles, because she can now.

It's just Cassie and Roxy, now. And like with Gregory, everything she'd been feeling, all the thoughts she'd been having all bubble up to the surface, and now that everyones here, and safe, she just wants to get it all out.

So Cassie furrows her brows, and goes to tell Roxy I'm sorry, I didnt want to, I shut you down and you still saved me, why? But before she can, the door clicks back open, and Gregory steps inside her room, balancing two plates on his hands.

"Dinners ready." He tells her, smiling, and Cassie doesn't know why shes suprised when after Gregory hands her her own plate, he crawls up on the bed with her.

So she doesnt voice it. She just smiles, a big, wide one, but still small and soft.

Vanessa walks inside the room with her own plate, and Freddy, looking everything like the home-built animatronic he is, follows behind her, extra pillows and blankets in his arms.

"I was thinking we have a movie night." Vanessa says, sitting in the same chair Gregory was when she first woke up. "Better than you having to sit in here bored, right, kid?"

Cassie nods, and her mouth waters when she catches a whiff of the chicken alfredo sitting in her lap.

Gregory snatches the remote from Vanessa, holding it away from her arms when she tries to take it back. The TV in front of them that she just now notices is in the room comes to life, Disney+ appearing on screen.

Gregory hands the remote to Cassie when Vanessa finally gives up, and shes able to pick the movie, putting on a happy, animated movie, where all the characters have their happy endings and nothing bad really ever happens.

The chicken alfredo was delicious, and they sat in her makeshift room, pillows and blankets built up like jenga around her to make her as comfortable as possible for hours, laughing together.

Cassies cheeks hurt by the end, and although shes so thrilled after hanging out with Gregory again, just having fun together like they used to, she cant help but notice that Roxy was really quiet the whole time. Really quiet.

Cassie doesnt think shes very good at reading animatronics yet, not like Vanessa and Gregory seem to be able to with Freddy, but Cassie cant help but feel like Roxy wasnt really able to relax this whole time, and shes surrounded with people she feels unsafe with.

By the end of it all, when the suns long set and Cassie feels tiredness drag her eyelids down, she cant rest, even when Vanessa's retired to her room, Gregory's left, and Roxy and Freddy went to parts and service.

She feels the same panic as earlier grip her heart. It's not like a panic attack; she's had a few of those, it's more like any chance of relaxation has left her body, and all that's left is feeling tense, on edge, and like something bad is going to happen. Like Gregory isnt going to be there when she wakes up.

But she needn't have worried, because it isnt too long until Gregory re-enters her room, wearing pajamas and Roxy and Freddy plushies clutched in one hand, with a night light in the other.

"This helped me and Freddy when it'd get bad, too." Gregory explains, tucking the Roxy plushie into her own arm as he lays down with her, clicking the night light shaped like Sundrop on. "That way, you can see me if you get scared that I'm gone."

Cassie can't put into words how grateful she is, or how glad she is that Gregory's back, and that she finally has him again, so she just doesn't, even though she wants to. Instead, she just clicks the lamp off, and when she lays down, wraps her arms around his middle.

Once Gregory is pressed up against her, with her forehead against his collarbone, and she can feel his slow, calm breaths, she feels relaxed. She finally feels herself slip into dreamland, and has no nightmares.

2nd ao3 link

#heres my ao3 notes #just wanted this chapter to be them chilling for a second #because this big talk cassie keeps wanting to have with gregory and roxy and just everything keeps getting delayed #but itll happen eventually #oh trust me #also hope you enjoy the gregory and cassie backstory crumbs! i dont really have anything in mind but ill see where my brain takes it. im ki #but right now i think im going for the idea that gregory was homeless and friends with cassie #and while unable to do anything because gregory makes her hide the fact that hes homeless to her dad #she has him stay at her house to get fed and sleep somewhere safe #and their unusual circumstances plus how sweet their meeting was makes them really close #i also wanted to hammer in the idea of gregory #vanessa and freddy already going through the healing process. like its been an uphill battle and taken a long time #but theyve had time to grow and heal together and know eachother pretty well by now #so i think cassie having seperation anxiety with gregory (and vice versa just less because of his experience + other circumstances)#and gregory having gone through that with freddy (and still is) would be interesting. 3 star fam wants to help cassie + roxy heal #wont be posting chapters on tumblr from now on #so if you wanna keep up sub on ao3 :)#take me home #tmh #my fics #pandas writes

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opens-up-4-nobody · 10 months

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...

#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog #didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move #across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s #so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help #with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the #location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright #colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird #like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the #southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December #it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but #i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and #jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen #im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and #the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier #for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy #but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked #up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents #r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes #better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book #like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated

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iamunabletothinkofablogname · 27 days

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god fucking damn it

#i hate feelings #so fucking much #anger especially #what am i angry at?#no fucking idea #go ask the guy who runs the body #i certainly dont deserve to know #but you know what i do deserve #to feel it #i dig myself into holes and then expect to get out no trouble #its always worked #my brain is too fucking loud #pipe down bitch #tw vent #i wish i could explain this #sounds narcissistic but #i would be such a fucking good person if nothing happened #but now i have to deal with shit that was never my fault #kys kys kys kys kys kys kys kys kys kys kys kys kys #and one of the most annoying parts #is that i could have stopped half of it #but instead #i decided to listen and say nothing #i should've been suspicious when i was told every fucking day #'dont tell anyone/they'll take you away from us/they don't know anything/they're trying to trick you into taking you away'#if you never did anything wrong why do you want to hide it?#but of course hate has to be met with contradictory feelings #i cant physically hate anyone without also feeling pity/love/whatever the fuck you call it #why does it feel like im pretending to be a good person #honestly im growing up into the people i hate the most

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dragonanon · 6 months

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Me: *Trying to go about my day like a normal person *

My brain: “What if we made a TADC OC that’s basically a slime monster girl, but she’s based on the kind of toy slime that has a bunch of cutesy objects in it?? And when she was a human she was a highly skilled and respected Intensivist working at an ICU?? And as a doctor, she was known for being gentle and compassionate to all her patients, and she treasured the staff members working under he?? And she saw all her staff as members of her family, and was fiercely protective of them?? But also while she always appeared extremely confident and well put together, deep inside she struggled daily with a massive inferiority complex and imposter syndrome?? Because she never believed she deserved any of the praise she received despite her work, and constantly felt the need to prove herself by going above and beyond in her work?? And all the plays into why she’s a slime girl now, because even though she always appeared as strong and confident in the surface, inside she’s soft and anxious??

And while she doesn’t remember her life prior to entering the Digital World, during times of crisis or when someone’s injured or at high risk of abstracting, suddenly doctor mode activates?? She quite literally pulls herself together and becomes completely solid like plastic, and gives off a strong aura of confidence and authority?? Thoughts, terminology, and emotions that are foreign yet seem SO familiar surge through her, and without really thinking about it she talking and acting just like she did as an ICU doctor; leading her to quickly take control of the situation with firm confidence before gently tending to the injured/abstracting individual. She doesn’t understand how she knows any of what she’s saying as she gently tends to, and or talks the individual back down from the edge, but it feels so natural to her! It’s like she was MADE to do this, and had actually done it many times before despite having no recollection of doing anything like this previously?? And as she slowly helps the individual ground themselves in reality once more, she’s still maintaining a perfect composure during the whole ordeal, not once showing just how afraid she really was and instead just remaining laser focused on helping the “patient” in front of her??

And it’s only when her “patient” has finally stabilized somewhat that she finally notices everyone staring at her in awe, and then she starts barking orders to everyone to get the “patient” back to their room so they can be admitted into the hospital for surveillance, and that she wants a full blood panel and PHQ-9 assessment completed while she fills out an incident report for the hospital’s records. And everyone is so taken aback/still in shock that they just kinda go along with it because she sounds so sure of herself no one knows how to argue otherwise.

It’s only when someone breaks out of their stupor enough to ask her how she did all that/what the heck happened that she snaps out of it, and she softens into her goopy self again as she tries to clumsily explain she has no clue what happened but was just overwhelmed by these sudden thoughts and emotions, and despite not knowing where any of it was coming from it felt like she just instinctively knew what to do and how to do it.

Someone points out to her that she looked and sounded just like a doctor back there, and that maybe that’s who she was prior to entering the Digital Circus. She doesn’t believe it, insisting that there’s no way someone like her could be a doctor, but everyone insists that she absolutely could be and that what she did was incredible?? And now she’s kinda the unofficial doctor of the circus despite still not believing she was, or could ever be, a doctor??”

Me: *Sitting on the couch letting my brain hyperfixate* 👁️👄👁️

#this…this ended up being WAY longer than i intended #but my brain has literally been CONSUMED by this idea #that trope of ‘amnesiac somehow instinctively knows how to do the the thing because they did it previously’ is a fav of mine #she might not remember her old life but the caregiver instincts and knowledge is still very much ingrained into her #and it comes out full force when someone is in need of medical attention #she orders caine to go prepare a hospital bed and he’s like ‘yes ma’am!’ before taking off to do that #he makes it 2/3s down the hall before realizing what just happened and poofing back #in his defense she was so confident and authoritative his coding went ‘ah a doctor. you should always listen to medical professional.’#shitpost #tadc #long post #the amazing digital circus #tadc oc #haven’t quite figured out a name for her yet #but i’m tryna name her in a way that would allow the nickname ‘squish’ to be acceptable #because squish as a nickname for a slime lady makes me laugh

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crossbackpoke-check · 6 months

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56 and any Yamo pairing! 🫶

i just wheezed so hard when i saw what the song was i almost snorted coffee out of my nose i am so sorry for this one

#56 - kyoto phoebe bridgers + yamo

the story of how this song ended up on my wrapped is too long so it’s going in the tags but. let me set the scene for you.

2026 NHL GLOBAL SERIES™️ JAPAN - Presented by YPPI

November 13 & 14, 2026: Dallas Stars, Montreal Canadiens, Seattle Kraken, Vancouver Canucks

Saitama Super Arena, Saitama, Japan

It’s a pitiful excuse of a consolation prize for not being able to go to the Olympics, but Kailer’s not going to look a vacation horse in the mouth. The arena’s cool. It’s huge. The people are cool. There’s so many more of them than he thought there’d be with jerseys that have his name on the back, and a lot more that have the familiar orange and blue. He takes a picture of the fifth Oilers Yamamoto jersey he signs—this one’s the good Reverse Retro—and texts it to Connor, says,

no one here has even heard of mcjesus

and gets a moon face emoji in response. Leon’s influence. Kailer’s still never really deciphered what that one means, and he doesn’t think Connor knows either.

They don’t have a lot of time off between games, but Kailer’s trying to be a good tourist. His dad had been so happy when Kailer had told him about the series that Kailer’d had to stop him from trying to book a flight a year in advance, and his mom’s been just as bad, sending him every article she sees about Best New Spot in Tokyo! Cool Restaurant! Have You Seen This Japanese Cat Café? that she scrolls across on Facebook since June. Suzy’s in the same boat, so they’ve been crossing off their compiled travel-guide list together, looping in as many guys as they can. Everyone’s been pretty game. All the teams are crammed into close quarters at the same hotel, which means everyone wants to spend as much time as possible outside of it, and it helps that Kailer’s gotten pretty close with all the other guys that the NHL picked up as Global Series figureheads. Robo’s memes? Absolutely fire. The groupchat loves them.

For every item he crosses off the list, Kailer takes a picture and keeps it tucked in his phone notes. It’s like speed-running a scavenger hunt—they’re only here for four days—but he’s doing a pretty good job. His favorite so far has been all the gardens. They’re stunning, trees shining bright red and yellow, and every vendor has been selling maple candies, maple cakes, and even fried maple, though the official maple festival doesn’t start until next week. The second garden he visits, he does it on his own after practice, buying two cakes from a cart near the gate and walking until he loses the bustle outside. It’s easy to get lost in the winding pathways, heading deeper into the quiet, and there’s dozens of benches underneath the burnished leaves where young couples are tucked away on dates, or old friends are laughing and catching up. In some of the little clearings, there’s small shrines where people leave offerings, a prayer for good luck or good fortune.

Kailer stops at one without any people and sets the second maple cake on top of it, then sits and scrolls through all the texts that he’s missed. His mom gets replied to with a picture of him outside the garden gate, grinning and surrounded by other travelers. He sends his brother a picture of a trashy graphic I Love Japan t-shirt with the threat that he’ll buy one for him, and Kailer’s dad gets a picture of the meticulously arranged and cut bonsai that are across from the bench where he’s sitting. The Seattle groupchat gets a recycled meme from Robo, and he gets two thumbs up and an “LMAO” before he can even exit the thread. Finally, Kailer takes a picture of the half-eaten maple cake in his hand, holding it next to a fallen maple leaf on the bench, and gets halfway through typing another message before he thinks better of it.

(On the plane over, Drieds was reading them a story about how when they first introduced the high-speed railway, people were afraid to use it because they thought it would be too fast for their souls to keep up.

“Bro, if that were true, you just left your soul in the middle of the Pacific,” Ebs had laughed. “Planes are faster than trains.”

“Are they?” Matty asked. “Isn’t the train in Japan the fastest in the world?”

Drieds couldn’t make it through the rest of the story over the sound of everyone ripping Matty to shreds, so Kailer didn’t get to ask whether or not they found out anything about planes. Kailer’s not worried about his soul, but the logic makes a strange kind of sense; after all, he traveled 429 miles in five and a half hours once, and that was a little too fast for his heart to keep up.)

Fuck it. Kailer’s been trying to write a response for the past ten days, and he’s sick of swiping in and out of the message, staring at the keyboard so long he starts to see swirls in his vision.

Kailer drafts the text again and sends it, no context, no caption. A text travels faster than a high-speed train or a jet. Maybe it’ll pick his heart back up on the way.

#I don’t know how this song ended up on my Spotify wrapped because phoebe bridgers is too emotionally damaging for me to listen to like.#at all unless i am In It HOWEVER. there is this one silly video that brings me so much joy and made me feel semi-reasonable about listening #to kyoto & it’s the one video of the two painter guys painting the room & the lil guy is being a menace & the other guy just looks at him s #fondly & so lovingly & is that not the thesis of kailer yamamoto. be small be a menace be beloved by everyone. ANYWAY #liv in the replies #look this was going to be such a different thing and then. my brain went HEY BUDDY GUESS THE FUCK WHAT kyoto is a city in Japan.#day off in kyoto. guess who’s Japanese. guess what the nhl loves to do as HIFE publicity. also growing the AAPI audience is HUGE and i thin #they should. like originally i had NO idea what this was going to be (i’m so lying. the line ‘i’m gonna kill you’ but incredibly fond a la #the two painters video kept replaying in my head and i was like l m a o. klimmer & kailer. no plot all vibes it’s klimmer & Kailer that’s i #there is no real plot there is no actual idea the amount of googling that i did to write just this is UNREASONABLE i would love to be norma #about anything ever but i ALSO invented so much backstory to this that has no way of appearing in the actual fic and also jokes for ME #for instance. YPPI is the american manufacturer for yamaha motorcycles and. suzuki. yamamoto. (it’s not my brainworms it’s due to a fancam)#respectfully also i cannot write this fic. i have never been to japan and i think it would take me eight years to google enough #to be relatively comfortable like y’all have never seen the extensive research i put in to fucking phiLLY and a whole other COUNTRY???#where the premise of the fic is learning how to be a tourist in your life and sometimes you have to grow out of things?#yeah i AM going to make something with the idea of Momijigari and life is ephemeral. is that a plot? no it’s vibes.#kailer goes to japan in the fall and realizes he’s a liar. who lies. (he misses [redacted]) (the redacted is because i haven’t decided)#also also. the garden reference is because a) i spent WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON GOOGLE and found out things to do in saitama and also that #kailer’s grandpa had a meticulous garden and i just think that’s neat #hiding-from-reality-56 #random ficlet is unbeta’d un-anything’d i don’t know WHERE this came from or the real plot of it at all. ok thanks byeeeee

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