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anonymousewrites · 2 months

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Nature of the Human Soul (Book 1) Chapter Nine

Platonic! Hazbin Hotel x Teen! Reader

Father Figure! Alastor x Teen! Reader

Chapter Nine: Going Clubbing Goes Wrong

Summary: Angel's friend Cherri shows up, and Charlie decides that sending everyone for a night on the town is the best idea while she and Vaggie go to Heaven. It isn't the best idea. Not at all.

Warning: Valentino is very much Valentino in this chapter, even towards the MC. It is only a few sentences, but please use your discretion for what you feel comfortable reading. The MC does not get touched or hurt or approached, but they do get talked to.

“Oh, fuck,” groaned Angel as he nearly fell into the hotel. He looked thoroughly exhausted from his work. Valentino was making him work harder and longer every day, and Angel just wanted to crash and have the rest of eternity off to sleep.

“You look messy! What happened to you?” said Niffty.

“It’s who happened to me,” huffed Angel. “And the answer is everyone. Twice. Val had me working sixteen hours straight on a fucking whim. The absolute dick bag.”

“He sucks,” agreed (Y/N) as Angel threw himself onto the couch next to them.

Boom!

The wall (the same wall as usual) exploded. Everyone jumped and stared, ready for a fight.

“What the fuck is with that wall?!” said Angel.

“What up, hoes?!” said an Australian voice, and a woman walked in through the hole in the hotel’s wall.

Angel’s mood brightened. “Holy shit, Cherri Bomb?! Long time no see, baby!”

“Angie, ya bitch!” said Cherri in a very friendly manner. (Y/N) decided they liked her energy, and since Angel actually seemed happy to see her, they determined their feeling was right. “You been texting me depressing shit all day, figured we could tear shit up like old times. It’s been fuckin’ forever!” She tossed a bomb to Charlie. “Here, hold this.”

“Ah! Oh my God, oh my God!” said Charlie.

“Nope, gimme that.” Vaggie took it and threw it out the hole. It exploded in the distance (thankfully).

“I love seeing ya, Cherri,” said Angel. “But I’m too tired. I need to pass out.”

Cherri grabbed him before he could leave. “Oho, you can sleep when you’re double-dead, fuckhead. Come on, what you really need is a recharge, a reinvigoration, a re—”

“Responsible night on the town!” finished Charlie, smiling. “That is a great idea! Hi, I’m Charlie.” She shook Cherri’s hand. “That’s my wall that you just blew up. It’s so nice to meet one of Angel’s friends. Aagh, he never brings anyone around!”

Cherri snorted, but it wasn’t totally unfriendly. “Wonder why?”

“Yeah, me too!” Charlie was blissfully ignorant to the tease. “Anyway, Angel and everyone else have been working so hard. I think they deserve to have a little fun.”

“Wait, ‘they?’ ” said Cherri.

“Yeah! Hi, everyone!” called Charlie, grabbing everyone’s attention. “Angel and his friend are taking you all out for a night of fun and relaxation.”

“I don’t really think it’s going to be relaxing,” said (Y/N), but they were interested. This was another experience they’d never had in their life, so they wanted to try something new in death.

“Great,” huffed Cherri.

“Don’t worry, Cherri,” said Angel. “They’re not so bad.” He grinned at (Y/N). “You’re gonna like the kid.”

“Yeah, but I’m only here for yo—” Charlie shoved money into Cherri’s hands to cover everyone. “Ooh! Never mind! Let’s go! Come on, kid, I’m gonna make your first time out the best time.”

“Wait, are we sure we should let (Y/N) go—” Vaggie’s (rightful) concern was cut off as the portal to Heaven opened up in the lobby and Charlie squealed.

“Bye, everyone!” said Charlie, grabbing Vaggie and pulling her through. She couldn’t wait another second.

(Y/N) grinned. “Finally, I can try drinking.”

“I’m keeping my eye on you,” said Husk.

He needed to for two reasons. One, he liked (Y/N) and didn’t want them getting hurt. Two, he was certain Alastor would torture him if anyone happened to (Y/N) (which was an odd thought but Husk didn’t have the energy to really think through that, he just knew it was true.)

The portal to Heaven disappeared, and Pentious appeared in the lobby. He froze as he saw Cherri and straightened in an attempt to seem confident.

“Well, if it isn’t my archnemesis!” he said. “Have you come to meet your fate in battle, Cherri Bomb?”

“Apparently, I’m going out with Angel, and I got to drag your sorry asses along,” said Cherri.

Pentious brightened and slithered up to Cherri. “Oh, so, you and me are going out back for fun?” He tugged on his bowtie nervously. “I…I didn’t think this would ever happen. What? What do I do? What do I wear?” He put his hand on Cherri’s shoulder, and she grabbed it.

“Don’t fucking touch me, you munted dickhead,” said Cherri, walking off.

Pentious just blushed, staring at the hand she’d touched.

Wow, that’s a pair I didn’t expect, thought (Y/N), despite having only met Cherri two minutes ago.

“Come on, ya fucks! We’re heading out!” announced Cherri.

It was time for a new experience. ((Y/N) hoped they enjoyed this one. They wanted to make some good memories in their afterlife).

“Woo! Isn’t this place the fucking best?” cheered Cherri at the bar of the club.

(Y/N) stared at the drink in their hand and downed it. They had discovered they liked the alcohol in Hell and decided a little indulgence couldn’t hurt. (Not too much, though. They could feel a headache coming on, and the last thing they needed was to hurt their poor roses. That being said, doing something that would have made them angry made (Y/N) happy). And, hey, they were with friends, so it couldn’t be too bad. Right?

“I’ll admit, ‘Consent’ is a good name for a sex club,” said Husk.

Never mind, they brought me to a sex club. (Y/N) sighed. Whatever. I’ll just stay over here.

“Niffty, dear, what are you doing?” said Pentious, staring at Niffty as she swept the nightclub floor.

“I’m sweeping. Ugh, look how icky it is in here,” complained Niffty.

“That’s because we’re at a club, dear,” pointed at Pentious, not unkindly.

“Oh! I thought the hotel looked different,” said Niffty, looking around properly.

Pentious cleared his throat and looked at Cherri. Again, he attempted to seem cool. “Ms. Bomb, I-I’d like to buy you a drink,” he stammered.

“Why?” Cherri grinned. “Didn’t you say we’re arch-rivals?”

“Um…uh…because I’m buying everyone a drink!” A terrible excuse, but it worked.

Everyone in the club cheered and rushed up to the bar.

“Thanks, Sir Pentious!” said (Y/N).

“Are you seriously into this, kid?” said Husk, raising a brow.

“This tastes good,” said (Y/N), lifting their refilled glass.

Husk sighed. “Vaggie and Charlie are gonna hate this.”

“I did worse with the loan sharks,” they chirped.

Husk gave another, long-suffering sigh.

“I need a drink after today,” said Angel, sitting down beside them all tiredly. “You know, Val, he’s into this waterboarding shit now, I don’t know, it’s a kink.”

“Sounds like torture,” said (Y/N).

“It’s exhausting,” agreed Angel.

“No, I meant literally.”

“Angel, enough with the Val talk. He already ruined your day,” said Cherri. She squeezed Angel’s shoulder. “Don’t let him ruin your night, too.” She pulled out a few pills from her pocket. “Here, take one of these and you won’t be worrying about nothin’.”

(Y/N) frowned. They weren’t certain that was the answer.

“Here we go,” murmured Husk, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, look, the drunk and the kid are judging us,” huffed Cherri.

“I ain’t the one trying to get into Heaven,” said Husk. He looked at Angel. “Look, you want to fuck up all your progress? Be my guest.” He huffed, and his ears flattened.

“I just don’t want you to feel worse about yourself after you come down,” said (Y/N). They knew Cherri was just doing what Cherri thought Angel wanted, but they wanted to make sure Angel was alright.

“Buzzkills,” said Cherri. “Come on, Angie, let’s get fucked up! It’s been too long.”

“I, uh, I don’t know.” Angel didn’t want to disappoint Husk or any of his other friends. And…they had a point. “It’s been a long night, and I don’t need to go too wild.”

Husk smiled, not a little proudly, and took a sip of his drink. He kept an eye on (Y/N) in case they started having too much. He was a hopeless alcoholic, but he wasn’t letting the kid spiral into that.

“Come on, bitch,” said Cherri encouragingly. “If you’ve really been working that hard, you deserve a little R and R, and some THC, or maybe PCP with DMT. Aw, fuck it, let’s see where the night takes us, huh?”

“I…I guess,” said Angel, shrugging noncommittedly.

“Cherri, I bought you a shot!” said Pentious, having finally gotten to paying for her.

Cherri frowned at him, and Pentious panicked.

“B-Because I bought everyone another shot! Hooray!” said Pentious.

Angel downed a shot. “Aah…fuck it! Let’s do it!” He grinned at Cherri.

Husk rolled his eyes. Suddenly, this night wasn’t that fun to him.

Or (Y/N). “Be careful, Angel.”

“He’s done it before!” said Cherri optimistically.

“Yeah, that’s why I’m saying it,” muttered (Y/N), watching as Cherri and Angel grabbed another drink.

The drinks kept rolling. ((Y/N) had decided to stop as soon as Cherri and Angel got going in case they needed help with anything. Yeah, pissing off the spirits of the dead…people-(Y/N)-didn’t-like-to think-about was great and all by drinking, but they weren’t going to just let their friends wander around).

“Round twelve, motherfuckers!” cheered Cherri. “Heels are comin’ off!”

“Oh, yeah, keep ‘em comin’!” said Angel. “Come on, right here, right to daddy!”

“Oh, it’s wonderful to have friends!” said Pentious, laughing wildly (he was drunk, but he was still drinking to keep up and impress Cherri).

“Everything’s spinny,” said Niffty, grinning as she tried to reach for another shot.

“Ha, I think you’re done, tiny,” said Angel, lifting the shot away from her.

“No! Gimme, gimme, gimme!” she pouted.

“Oh, come on, bitch, she can handle a little more,” said Cherri.

“She’s ten pounds and tiny,” said (Y/N). “And we don’t need her any more unhinged than normal.”

“Shit, where’d she go?” said Angel, looking around. Niffty had made a run for it.

“I’ll help you find her,” said (Y/N), standing. Husk could look after Pentious.

It didn’t take a moment to spot Niffty, cleaning the nightclub by collecting everyone’s drinks in a garbage bag. The patrons were not pleased with it and growing restless.

“Dirty, dirty, make it clean!” she said maniacally.

“Dammit, Niffty,” said Angel.

(Y/N) picked Niffty up before she could do more while Angel tried to placate the angry men.

“Sorry, fellas, here, next one’s on me.” He put money down on the table and smiled while they began to fight.

“Shit, Niffty, stop—Damn!” Niffty, seeing a supply closet, had squirmed out of (Y/N)’s hold and ran for the cleaning supplies within.

“Shit, shit,” cursed Angel.

“Angie, the fuck are you doin’?” asked Cherri, stepping in front while Niffty collected bleach and chlorine behind her. “You’re supposed to be relaxing, not playing nanny. Roses over here seem to has that down.”

(Y/N) gave her the middle finger (playfully) while trying to keep an eye on Niffty.

“Look, neither of ‘em are used to this scene,” said Angel. “I just don’t want ‘em to end up in the gutter like I used to.”

(Y/N) looked at Angel. That was surprisingly heartfelt for him. Yes, he was always deep down a good person, but he usually hid it behind his hypersexuality and acting. This was actual care and honesty. (Y/N) nearly smiled. It was heartwarming and one of the reasons they really liked Angel.

Not completely getting the idea, Cherri shrugged. “Whatever, nerd. Just catch up when you’re done.” She walked away.

Angel grabbed Niffty from the supply closet. “Stop, you can’t take that.”

(Y/N) put the chlorine and bleach away. “It’s not ours.” And you might poison people to clean them.

Stressed and frustrated, Angel huffed. “God, Niff, why are you bein’ such a mess?”

Niffty’s eyes widened. “I’m the mess?”

“Oh, dear,” said (Y/N).

Niffty wailed, and tears poured from her eye.

“Oh, oh, shit!” said Angel, realizing he’d messed up. “Hey, hey, hey, calm down.”

“You’re not a mess, Niffty,” said (Y/N), reaching up as best they could to pat Niffty’s back. “We’re all just being, uh, silly right now.”

“Right, right,” said Angel, nodding furiously. “You’re not a mess. It’s fine, sssh. You, uh, wanna play with the kitty?” He hugged her, and (Y/N) patted her back.

Niffty’s sobs subsided, and she hiccupped. “Yeah.”

Angel and (Y/N) didn’t waste time putting Niffty back with Husk. She sat on his head, petting his fur, and Husk stared up.

“The fuck is this?” said Husk.

“She’s wasted,” said Angel, sighing.

“Just go with it unless you want her to start crying or pouring bleach drinks for you,” said (Y/N) cheerfully.

Husk huffed. “Fine, fine, whatever.” It wasn’t like he could stop Niffty now, and no one really wanted to see what angering her could do.

“Aaah…” Pentious fell over from his…well, he’d lost count, but somewhere near his twentieth shot. “Hey, wow.” He looked at Cherri, hauled himself up, and slithered over to her.

“Oh, boy, he’s got his confidence again,” said (Y/N). “Wonder what’ll go wrong this time.”

“Maybe nothing will,” said Husk.

He and (Y/N) exchanged a look and nearly burst out laughing. They both knew that poor Pentious was still too insecure to fully follow through if Cherri questioned anything.

“Hey, so…I see the club has a sex room,” said Pentious. “So, I was thinking, maybe you’d want to, uhm…do a sex with me?”

“Yikes, points for confidence, but minus several hundred for style,” said (Y/N).

“I’m sorry, why would we have sex?” said Cherri, smirking.

“Uh, uh, uhm…” Pentious shifted nervously.

“Here it comes,” said Husk.

“Because I’m having sex with everyone here!” declared Pentious.

“Wow, he’s really crashing and burning on this one,” said (Y/N), almost impressed by Pentious’s ability to get himself into trouble (everyone was cheering and far too excited for Pentious to be free for quite a while). Sure enough, several people grabbed Pentious, and he was carried away for a long night into one of the sex rooms.

Cherri laughed and walked back to the group. “You know, we can do this fucking shit every fucking night, Angie. You don’t have to spend all your off hours ‘working on yourself,’ you little bitch.”

“The hotel isn’t his problem,” said Husk, holding Niffty over his shoulder. “It’s—”

“Valentino,” said Angel angrily.

“Exactly,” said Husk, and (Y/N) nodded fervently.

“Yeah, that guy is a piece of shit,” said (Y/N).

“No,” said Angel. He pointed to a side lounge. “Valentino.”

The moth was demon was there, in the club. He lay back on a couch, two demons curled up next to him as he smoked and crooned proudly about himself. He smirked, clearly at home and in control at the club.

(Y/N) had seen pictures of him (unfortunately) around Hell, but seeing him in person made them dislike him all the more. He reminded them of the men they’d seen on Earth who only looked at others as pawns, as objects to be used and thrown away. Disgusted, (Y/N) narrowed their eyes.

“Yeah, I come here all the time. They know me,” said Valentino to the two demons currently with him. He smirked at one. “You’re gorgeous. Do you need a job? How many dicks can you suck? I could make you a star.”

Angel shivered as Valentino spoke and looked at his friends. “Let’s get the fuck outta here. Ok, ok.”

(Y/N)’s eyes widened. “Niffty’s gone.”

Husk looked at his shoulder, and sure enough, the bug demon had disappeared. “Well, fuck.”

“Shit, Niffty,” cursed (Y/N), spotting her running towards the lounge Valentino was sitting in.

They moved as fast as they could, grabbing Niffty before she could get too close. Unfortunately (but when was the hotel’s luck ever good?), a clubber dancing bumped into (Y/N), and they and Niffty fell forward into the empty space in front of Valentino’s lounge.

“Fuck, fuck!” Angel reached down and grabbed (Y/N) and Niffty, but it was too late, and Valentino had noticed him.

“Holy shit, Angel Dust?” said Valentino. “What are you doing here, baby? You didn’t get enough dick today?”

(Y/N) was disgusted just by his voice, and when Angel held Niffty behind him and pushed (Y/N) back with his other pair of arms, they didn’t resist at all.

Valentino leaned forward, leering down at Angel, Niffty, and (Y/N). “Who are these chiquitas? You bringing me fresh meat?”

(Y/N) felt bile rise in their throat, and they inched farther behind Angel.

Niffty, instead, tried to lunge and bite Valentino, who instantly jerked back. “I just want a taste,” she said, grinning.

“Eh, weird, but there’s a kink for that, I’m sure,” said Valentino. He tilted his head and regarded (Y/N) next, and they fought back a shudder, refusing to show weakness in front of him. “And that one looks sweet. I know a ton of clients with a thing for that~. A little young, but after a little time in Hell, eh, they’re close enough~”

(Y/N)’s eyes widened, and their stomach twisted uncomfortably at the implications of that statement. Angel protectively pushed them back, stood up, and glared at Valentino.

“Fuck off, Val,” he snapped.

“Excuse me?” said Valentino, narrowing his eyes.

“I said fuck off!” shouted Angel.

The club went silent, and everyone stared in shock at Angel.

“I may have to put up with your bullshit, but you ain’t fucking with any of my friends!” said Angel, hands curled into fists.

Valentino stood, towering over everyone. “You forget who you’re talking to?” He waved his cigarette, and the smoke collected into a chain. It wrapped around Angel’s wrist and pulled him to Valentino. “I own you!”

Angel’s face fell, but his anger welled up again, and he glared, refusing to back down. “Yeah, you do, in the studio, and you can do anything you want to me there, just like our deal says. But out here, I get to do what I want. So once again, fuck off!”

Valentino raised his hand and swung at Angel.

Snap!

A briar wrapped around Valentino’s wrist. The thorns sunk into his skin, and he gritted his teeth at the sudden pain. His eyes narrowed, and he looked at where the vine came from. Everyone was silent and turned their gaze on (Y/N), whose hand was lifted. They had summoned the vine.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” hissed Valentino, and the hotel gang’s eyes widened as (Y/N) was faced with Valentino’s complete fury.

“Telling you to fuck off like Angel did,” said (Y/N), refusing to cower.

Valentino’s eyes seemed to glow in the dim lights of the club. “You’re making quite the enemy, you fucking brat.”

“I certainly don’t want you as a friend,” sneered (Y/N), letting the vine tighten around Valentino’s wrist.

Valentino gritted his teeth and ripped it away with another hand. Standing at his full height, he glared at Angel. “Enjoy your night, bitch. I’m going to enjoy making you pay for it tomorrow.” He looked back at (Y/N). “And you…You better be watch your fucking back. You’re going to pay for that.” He turned, and his red wings/cloak swept around with him as he went back to his lounge, fuming.

“Fucking dickhead,” muttered Cherri.

“Fucking hell, kid, if he hadn’t been at the club and not been able to risk destroying it, he could’ve tried to kill you,” said Husk, looking at (Y/N).

They crossed their arms. “I wasn’t going to let him hurt Angel. Not when he’s here with us. Plus he made me feel fucking gross.”

Angel looked at (Y/N). “He deserved it. Only wish I could’ve been the one to hurt him.” And he wished he could’ve kept Valentino from speaking like that about (Y/N), but he knew (Y/N) had already seen that.

“Maybe one day you will,” said (Y/N).

“I hope so,” said Angel. His shoulders heaved as the adrenaline ran out. “Let’s go.”

Husk patted his back. “Proud of you.”

Angel smiled. “Thanks.”

“And you, too, kid, even if it was fucking stupid,” said Husk. “Valentino has got a lot of pull.”

“I’ve lived under enough people’s thumbs,” said (Y/N), their gaze darkening. “I’m not doing it anymore.”

Angel and Husk exchanged a look but decided not to ask (Y/N) what that meant. They looked upset enough.

“What have you done to Niffty?” said Alastor as the group returned to the hotel. He was grinning at all of their appearances.

Niffty was holding her head as Husk carried her, Angel Dust was ready to pass out at this point, Pentious was miserable since he hadn’t gotten a chance to “do the sex” with Cherri, and (Y/N)’s anger had worn off to disgust at their experience with Valentino.

“She drank too much,” said Angel, throwing himself down on the couch. “Don’t wake me. I’m sleeping here forever.”

“Move over,” said Husk, putting Niffty down to rest.

“My, my, I thought Charlie had instructed you to have a good time,” tutted Alastor in amusement.

“We did until Valentino showed up,” groaned Angel. “The dick tried to get Niffty and (Y/N) to work for him.”

Husk shivered as Alastor’s grin widened but turned sharp and deadly.

“Did he now?” said Alastor.

“And then the creep tried to hit Angel!” said (Y/N) angrily.

“And the kid stupidly made Valentino angry by hurting him with their thorns,” said Husk. “He threatened them.” Husk was proud of them for interceding when Angel had nearly gotten hurt, but he was worried about what Valentino would do now that he knew their face and disliked them.

“He deserved it,” said (Y/N) sourly.

“Hell yeah,” said Angel. “He was being a fucking creep.” His friends were off limits, and (Y/N) was seventeen. Not eighteen. Not an adult. Nothing like that. Valentino was a fucking monster.

“Well, if you have any further trouble with that lecherous demon, I’m sure a quick conversation with me will put an end to it,” said Alastor, his grin dangerously wide even as he tapped (Y/N) on the forehead with his staff with more fondness than any of the demons present were familiar with him expressing.

“I hope I never see him again,” grumbled (Y/N), completely oblivious to how protective Alastor’s words were.

The Radio Demon, however, was. Ah, well. It was the truth. He wouldn’t have such a disgusting demon getting near his protégé.

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nolita-fairytale · 9 months

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don’t want to walk alone | carmen ‘carmy' berzatto | chapter three: september

summary: the moment we've all be waiting for: you and carmy get married.

warnings: swearing, eventual smut, lots of tooth rotting fluff, marriage, no use of y/n, second person pov, she/her pronouns

wc: 7.1k

listen to: the official don't want to walk alone playlist. there is SO much music in this chapter, so per the playlist, it starts with 'it takes two' and ends with 'love story.'

a/n: ok so this chapter was a behemoth to write and i am in fact in love with it. it's taken me days, really weeks, to get what i wanted out of it and i still feel like i could've gone deeper. however, i'm also kind of just happy to have this out in the world and give these two the wedding they wanted me to give them. each moment was curated and thought out, down to the music selection so this chapter is really just a product of me stewing on this idea for quite a bit of time. this is a part of my make my heart surrender universe so check out the masterlist if you haven't read the series! next up? their long weekend at the langham where we really get carmy x reader and moments for just them. please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist.

part two | masterlist | part four

“It takes two to make a thing go riiiiight.”

You never pictured the night before your wedding like this, you think to yourself, as you listen to Fak sing, to the best of his ability in a somewhat-decent falsetto, along to the 90s hip hop classic.

Hell, you’re not sure you really ever pictured your wedding, but as you sit, surrounded by the people you love, you can’t see it going any other way than this. You watch as Richie rallies up as many people as he can for shots of Mallort, recounting that infamous morning at Ceres – a story he’s told over and over again, yet still manages to tell as animated and boisterously as the first time you heard it.

You groan as you watch Richie successfully convince Gary to take a shot with him, Gary’s face twisting into a look of disgust in response to the foul taste of the Chicago liquor, as Sugar reminds him that he should know better by now.

Carmy gives your knee a squeeze while simultaneously brushing off Richie’s attempt at shoving a shot in his direction. You laugh, a warm feeling filling you to the brim (could be the beer, could be being surrounded by your people), while Sydney jumps right into her best Rob Base impression.

It just so happens that your continuously put-off ‘let’s shoot for next month’ karaoke plans with a few staff members from The Bear coincided with plans to go out with friends before the wedding, which is how you’ve found yourself here.

After a lovely dinner at The Bear, your parents went back to the hotel for the night, insisting that you two go and have your fun. And as much as you would’ve loved to have brought your mother-who-has-a-doctorate-in-music-theory to karaoke night, she much preferred a good night’s sleep.

The crowded bar claps enthusiastically as Fak and Sydney wrap up their song, finishing their truly-made-up-only-for-comedy dance moves. You giggle, exchanging another glance with Carmy, as your friends take their bows, before shuffling off of the stage.

You hear the loud boom of the emcee’s voice through the microphone as he says:

“And up next we got… Tina!”

“Let’s go, T!” you shout through hands crowded around your mouth, in an effort to increase your volume of sound.

Carmy cheers, clapping his hands together as Richie enthusiastically chants Tina’s name while Tina makes her way to the stage.

“This is gonna be good,” Sugar nudges you, from where you are, seated in between the Berzatto siblings.

You nod your head in agreement before settling in a little closer to Carmy.

“The queen, herself,” Sydney remarks, gesturing towards the stage as she and Fak both return to your table. Sydney pulls up a chair next to where you and Carmy sit while Fak joins Richie on the other side of it. “And the ONLY act that could follow our exceptional performance.”

“Well, exactly,” you agree, playfully.

You exchange a laugh with Syd, while Carmy playfully rolls his eyes at the two of you.

The crowded bar room goes quiet as soon as Tina reaches the stage, smiling nervously as she grabs the mic.

“This one goes out to our favorite Jeffrey. And his lady Jeff,” she begins, earning a round of cheers and hollers from the group you’re with. Tina blows a kiss you and Carmy’s way, before nodding at the emcee to begin.

“I love you guys.”

You hear the beginning notes of the iconic Etta James tune, gasping in anticipation of her song:

“at last my love has come along my lonely days are over and life is like a song.”

You sigh in admiration, a hand over your heart as Tina continues to sing. Her voice is powerful, soulful – perfect for the song, really – as she continues into the second verse.

“at last the skies above are blue my heart was wrapped up in clover the night I looked at you.”

This time, it’s Carmy who steals a glance your way, his mind taken back to that fateful night at a bar in Hell’s Kitchen, when he spilled his drink on you so many years ago. You’re entranced, enchanted, with Tina’s performance, and he thinks to himself, that maybe this is the best it’s ever going to get: being here with you, getting to love you, on the cusp of promising you ‘forever’ tomorrow.

Never had he expected that you’d make it this far. You’d always been so much cooler than him – well-liked, talented, funny – in and out of the kitchen, that he had no idea how the hell he was supposed to talk to you without vomiting all over your shoes out of nerves.

He can remember that night so vividly: standing there in the restroom of the bar he can barely remember the name of, while you stood across from him with the kind of glare on your face he swore could kill him. But you didn’t, and after many attempts to push you away, you asked him to be your friend, deeming it the day that started it all – a friendship that would teeter the line of friendship and something more, one that would bloom into the greatest love he’s ever known. As much as he hates to give Nate fucking Walker any kind of credit, he’ll the be first in line to say he’s glad the jagoff pushed him into you, setting it all in motion.

You can see that Carmy’s become distracted, lost in thought as the song finishes, something behind your favorite pair of blue eyes as the entire bar ignites into a huge round of celebratory claps for Tina’s performance.

You look up over at him, setting your beer bottle down on the table before leaning over to whisper in his ear.

“I can hear you thinkin’ over there, Berzatto,” you tease him quietly, pulling him from his trip down memory lane. “It’s only the night before the biggest day of your life. Relax.”

Carmy rolls his eyes playfully in response, but before he can properly respond to your jab, the emcee has begun introducing the next karaoke singers to the stage.

“Alright. Looks like I’ve got uh… three singers here this time,” the emcee says, his voice cutting sharply through the crowd of remaining cheers. “Let’s welcome Sydney back to the stage with… Sugar and… the bride to be!”

“What!?” you exclaim, your eyes wide with surprise as Sydney jumps to her feet.

“But I didn’t-,” you begin to protest, as Sugar pulls you to your feet, tugging on your arm.

“Oh there’s no way in hell we’re letting you sit this one out,” Sugar orders you, as Sydney rushes to your side, ushering you towards the stage.

“Yeah this was your idea!” Sydney simultaneously reminds you.

“Babe! Help!” you call out to Carmy, only to be met with a shrug and a look that says ‘don’t think I could if I tried.’

“Oh, he’s in on this,” Sydney adds, which does explain why he didn’t even attempt to help you when your friends began dragging you out of your chair. “So don’t even think about asking him for help.”

“Wh-? But I don’t even know what we’re singing!” you continue to protest, looking from Sugar to Sydney as they push you onto the stage with them.

“Trust,” Sydney reassures you, her face serious, while Nat slides a sash over you (one you’ve refused to wear all night) that has the word, ‘BRIDE’ printed over it in huge gold lettering. You groan, sending a glare in Nat’s direction, even though you know it’s all in good fun.

You hear Richie shout, while Fak and Marcus clap loudly, and Carmy laughs, shouting words of encouragement your way.

You know there’s no use in putting up a fight, especially since this was your idea anyways, as you begrudgingly take one of the three wireless mics. Before you can ask once more, what the hell Syd and Nat signed the three of you up to sing, a distinct slide of piano keys comes in, lighting up the karaoke screen in front of you.

You grin immediately, in recognition, and to your two best friend’s delight, as they smile too, raising the mics to your lips to sing:

“friday night and the lights are low looking out for a place to go where they play the right music getting in the swing you come to look for a king.”

You laugh as your friends point towards Carmy on the last line. The three of you continue to sing the next part with reckless abandon, and all is forgiven.

You could care less about how the three of them conspired against you to get you up here. All that matters now is that you’re here, singing one of your favorite songs with your best friends, grooving and dancing to the ABBA classic, as you prepare to marry your best friend.

“you can dance you can jive having the time of your life ooh, see that girl watch that scene digging the dancing queen.”

"what good is love without any strings?" dayglow, 'close to me'

“Baby.”

Carmy groans in response, as soon as he hears the low hum of your voice.

“Good morning,” you say, a soft smile on your face as you watch him begin to blink his eyes open.

Carmy turns his head towards you, and he can’t believe he gets to wake up to this – to you – every single day.

“Hey,” he says back, a soft smile spreading across his lips. “Good Morning, sweetheart.”

“Guess what?” you ask him with the kind of glee and anticipation as a kid on Christmas morning.

“Hmm?” he hums, as you smooth a hand over his chest, your body pressed against his side as you look at your soon-to-be husband.

“We’re getting married today,” you grin, a giddiness that bubbles inside of you.

“‘S that so?” he mumbles, playfully.

“Uh huh,” you nod with a chuckle, this time playing along. “Don’t tell me you forgot.”

Instead of replying with words, Carmy swiftly wraps an arm around you, before flipping you so that you’re the one on your back this time. You let out of a shriek and a laugh as he leans down, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips before adding:

“How could I ever?”

You shrug casually, “Weeeelll…. you just have so much going on up there.” You reach up to where Carmy hovers above you, brushing a golden curl out of his eyes as you continue your little dance.

“You know, between the restaurant and all that time spent being a genius,” you joke, bantering with Carmy. “Don’t know how you have the time to remember silly little things like wedding dates and what not.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Carmy laughs, shaking his head incredulously, before pressing another kiss, this one much deeper to your lips again.

And this time, as he pulls away, he gives you one of those languid looks that pierces right through your soul replying much more seriously this time with:

“I could never forget you.”

The way he says it with such conviction takes your breath away, and you know that Carmy means it. The double meaning isn’t lost on him either.

It’s one of the reasons he called you all those years ago to come teach Marcus; it’s why you ended up in Chicago:

Because as much as he tried, as damn good at compartmentalizing as he’d always been, he really could never forget you. Carmy shakes his head once more, a playful smile on his face as he leans down to kiss you again, wondering when the hell he got this fuckin’ sentimental. As he places his mouth over yours, you’re more than happy to switch gears into doing this dance for a little longer.

Carmy traces light shapes against your skin, his mouth pouring love into yours with every kiss, with every drag of his tongue. You gasp as he grinds his hips into yours, making it clear where he’d like this all to go. You pull away, only for a moment, giggling cheekily.

“Babe, I-,” you begin to protest, as Carmy chuckles, continuing to kiss you with zero intention of stopping “We… we’re going to be late.” This time, you feel his hands snake underneath the t-shirt you’ve been sleeping in, sending chills down your spine.

“And-, Carm-, I-, I have to do my hair for-, … and what about-, my parents, they’ll-,” you stammer through, your thoughts becoming all kinds of disorganized with the way Carmy’s lips move against your neck this time.

“I’ll be quick,” he answers with an aplomb you didn’t know he had in him.

“I don’t know if that’s the flex you think it is,” you tease him as his hands begin to cup your breasts, your body responding with an involuntary arch of your back.

“How fast I can make you come? I think it might be?” he murmurs against your lips, cockily.

“Carmy,” you moan, as he begins to pull your t-shirt up higher, making it incredibly difficult to think of your to-do list for much longer.

“Oh fuck it,” you sigh, deciding that, perhaps there’s no harm in getting the honeymoon started a little early anyways.

“That’s my girl,” Carmy whispers against you, grinning like a Cheshire cat as you surrender to him.

And he’s right about this too.

How fast he can make you cum deserves all kinds of bragging rights, awards – a Nobel Peace prize, even – and you’re not sure why you thought getting a head start on doing your hair would’ve been the better idea in the first place. You spend the morning in the arms of the man you plan to spend forever with as he writes love letters, promises to give you the world, declarations of adoration with the pleasure he brings you. And besides, you’re not running all that behind on time anyways – something you realize, as the two of you get out of the shower (a round two, really).

It takes a little longer than expected – mostly due to the fact that you and Carmy can’t seem to keep your hands off of each other – but against all odds, the two of you pull up to the courthouse right on time.

It’s a sight for sore eyes: you, running hand in hand with your husband-to-be in a white, halter-cut wedding dress while Carmy follows along, in a classic black suit – no tie around the neck – as the two of you hurry into the courthouse.

Sure, you could’ve tried to get here early – saved a little time and stress – but where’s the fun in that?

The two of you approach your families, hand in hand, to the sounds of your heels clicking against the marble floors of City Hall. The actual ceremony at City Hall, you’d both decided, would be family only.

Since you weren’t making a huge deal of it, you viewed this part as necessary paperwork, while the party itself could function as the ceremony and reception. But as soon as you see the look on your parents’ faces, you know this is more than just a few signed papers. You watch as their faces change, from impatient, waiting, eager, to in awe and emotional as you walk towards them.

You hear Ava shout your name, immediately dropping her dad’s hand as she runs towards you.

“Ava!!” you exclaim, bending down in your heels and white dress to scoop her up into a hug. You spin her around, just for a moment, before setting her back down on the floor.

“You look like a princess,” she says, completely in awe, her eyes wide as she looks up at you.

“You look like a princess, sweetie,” you reply, before giving her another hug. “And you know I can’t wait to hear your song, right?”

“I picked the best one,” she grins, proudly.

“I’m sure you did,” you reply confidently, with a playful wink.

“Oh-ho! Pay up, Rick,” Sugar mutters smugly, to Richie, as Carmy busies himself with greeting both of your parents.

Richie groans, muttering something profane as he not-so-discreetly hands Nat a $20 bill, earning a quizzical look from both of your parents that travels from Carmy and then to you.

“Sorry,” Richie apologizes, this time directing this one towards your parents as he holds up both hands, respectfully bowing his head.

You send a playful glare Richie’s way, earning a sardonic laugh from Natalie, as you push right past him and over to your parents.

“Oh sweetie,” your mom gasps, pulling you in for a tight squeeze.

“Hi, Mom,” you grin, as you hug her. “Dad!”

“My God, honey, you look beautiful,” your dad says, as it’s his turn next. You hug your dad, exchanging a few words about the morning, asking how they slept, how the hotel is, as your mom and Carmy hug it out.

This time, he turns his attention towards Carmy, so you release him, letting the two of them have their moment.

Taking your chance, while your parents are otherwise distracted, you make your way over to where Sugar and Richie stand.

“What? You guys were betting on whether or not we’d be late?” you ask Sugar, an eyebrow quirked in Richie’s direction.

“Listen,” Sugar sighs, cupping your face in her hands, endearingly. “You and Carm are nothing if not consistent.” You exchange a laugh with your almost-sister-in-law because you know she’s right. “And for the record, I bet that you’d be-.”

“Just in time!” the judge says, as he approaches the six of you, slipping his judge robe over his shoulders, black leather fold pressed against his chest. “You guys ready to get started?”

Carmy looks over at you, as if he’s waiting for you to take the lead here, and you nod, before the both of you turn back to the judge.

“Yes.”

“Great,” he smiles, clapping his hands together once. “Then let’s get you two married!”

"sooner or later, you'll find yourself right where you were, on the corner went looking for her, she had somethin' to tell you, she can't quite remember, but wait for a second, it always comes back to her, you always come back to her." -- the japanese house, 'morning pages'

And after dotting all appropriate i’s and crossing all necessary t’s, with one signed marriage license later, you, Carmy, your parents, Richie and Ava, Sugar, and Judge Thompson find yourself on the green roof of City Hall.

Carmy stands across you, his hands in yours, offering you a lifetime with one look from the most expressive blue orbs you’ve ever found yourself in.

“If you’d like to say something, if you prepared any vows… now would be the time,” Judge Thompson says, offering you and Carmy both the space to do so.

“Oh I think we-,” you begin, ready to decline the opportunity since you figured you’d save it for the reception.

“Actually uh, yeah. Can we?” Carmen interjects, sending you a look of reassurance.

“Of course,” Judge Thompson nods, giving you and Carmy the floor.

“Carm, I didn’t prepare anything for-,” you begin, but he’s quick to put your mind and heart at ease and he interjects with:

“It’s okay. I did.”

“Oh.”

You hadn’t expected this, since you both agreed you’d save any kind of speeches that may or may not happen today during the reception. But as Carmy’s palms grow clammier, a nervous look in his eyes as he searches for the words he’s practiced over the last few days, it becomes clear that he’s been planning this.

“As you know… I’m not always great with words,” he begins, almost apologetically, letting out a small laugh as he looks to Richie for reassurance. In turn, Richie gives Carmy a sympathetic nod, and you’re practically melting over the fact that he probably asked Richie for help with this.

Let it rip.

“I just uh-,” Carmy stammers, because he really, really wants to get this right. “Well, I’ll keep it brief.” He takes a breath, letting all of his nerves out on the exhale before beginning again.

Let it rip, buddy.

“I have loved you for so long – I think maybe since the day you brought me soup after I uh… you know, spilled my drink on you,” he states, earning the sweetest laugh from you, your friends, and family that came to witness.

“-- so I promise to love you for even longer, for forever. You changed my life.”

You exhale, trying your best not to cry right here and now, thankful for the mysterious powers of waterproof mascara.

“Jeez, no pressure,” you joke, dryly, before taking another breath, this time approaching your words with much more seriousness.

“Carmen. I’m so happy… that I changed your life,” you begin, cheekily, earning a laugh from your witnesses once more. “Because you changed mine. And I promise to love you forever.”

‘I love you,’ Carmy mouths to you, before nodding towards the judge to signal that you’re both done with your vows.

“Alright then,” Judge Thompson smiles, looking from you and then to Carmen, before uttering the question that will change the course of your life forever.

“I do,” Carmy replies, his voice even, sure, ready.

Natalie steps up this time, handing Carmy your ring, and you watch, teary eyed and full hearted as he slides it onto your left ring finger.

“And do you take Carmen Anthony Berzatto to be your lawfully wedded husband?” Judge Thompson repeats the question, this time for you to answer.

“Yeah, why the hell not?” you reply, earning a groan from your mother and a playful chuckle from your father.

“Yes. I do.”

At Richie’s encouragement, it’s Ava this time who steps up, handing you Carmy’s ring, with the sweetest most excited smile on her face as she looks from you to Carmy. You thank her, before returning your attention to Carmy once more. His eyes search your face, and there’s something so soft, so genuine in them that you think you’re going to cry as you help him put on his new piece of jewelry as well.

“Then by the power vested in me by the State of Illinois, I now pronounce you, husband and wife,” Judge Thompson concludes, contently.

“Should we-, do we kiss?” Carmy asks, looking from you to Judge Thompson.

“I’m just a civil servant but you may, yes,” he answers lightheartedly.

“Let’s go for it,” you shrug, taking a step towards Carmy.

Instead of answering, he smiles, stepping towards you before planting one on you in front of your friends and family that were invited to this brief ceremony.

While Sugar claps gleefully, Richie claps along muttering a ‘get a room,’ while you remind Carmy to keep it PG enough for your parents. You giggle, slowly pulling away from the kiss that begins the rest of your life with the man that you love.

“We did it, baby. We’re married,” you chuckle, in disbelief.

“Finally,” Carmy sighs, and you can see his smile from his lips to the crinkles in the corners of his eyes.

It doesn’t take long for your mom to usher both you and Carmy over to a spot in the garden she thinks will be best for pictures, just as the photographer arrives. She wasn’t wrong when she insisted you hire one, that you’d want to remember this day for the rest of your life. The photographer, who is incredibly talented, gets the shots needed up here in the garden, then downstairs, and outside, before you’re all off to Sugar’s place for the reception.

As you and Carmy sit in the car, having taken a separate one than your parents, you’re giddy with anticipation.

It’s all so surreal.

Never in his life did Carmy picture it ever getting this good, but as he looks over at you, your head resting on his shoulder, he presses a kiss to the top of your head, smiling to himself.

“We did it, sweet girl. We’re married,” he says, repeating your words from earlier.

“Yeah,” you grin, lifting your head off of his shoulder.

“We are, Bear.”

"give your heart and soul to me, and life will always be la vie en rose."

“No, Sugar! That’s not supposed to go out yet. Everything’s goin’ out family style. Let’s just take out the apps for-,” Carmy exclaims, stressed over the execution of your wedding reception-slash-brunch, because he just can’t help himself.

“Fuckin’ Christ, Bear!” she snaps at her brother. “Will you calm down and let us handle this?”

“I just want everything to-,” Carmy begins, his face blushing a shade darker.

“To go right. We know. And we know we’re just taking out apps, alright? Everyone else is outside, and everyone’s having a good time so just… relax,” she suggests, her tone serious because she’s just about to kick Carmy out of the kitchen.

Carmy shifts nervously, hyper-fixating on the happenings of the kitchen, his eyes tracking the movements of one of his caterer, Derek’s, sous chefs. It’s almost as if he needs to give himself a distraction as he asks, blankly:

“Do you uh… you think Mom is actually gonna show?”

Sugar pauses, the question throwing her.

“I… I don’t know. I called her yesterday. She never picked up. What do you think?” she replies, her voice quiet.

With your encouragement, you and Carmy had sent his mother an invitation to the brunch, only it’s been Sugar who’s followed up with her.

“We did what we needed to and if she doesn’t come, then she doesn’t come. I’m not pushin’ it,” Carmy had explained, justifying his actions, or rather, lack there of, to you.

She’s doubtful, but Nat can’t help the tiny glimmer of hope she has in her heart that Donna might show, even if she knows it’s unrealistic. In fact, her mom had barely been interested in stopping by as of late, ever since she’d told the Berzatto matriarch that she was pregnant. She keeps telling herself that it doesn’t matter – that it’s probably better if Donna doesn’t show – but it doesn’t help ease the disappointment she feels about the situation as a whole.

“Doubt it, honestly. Never even got an RSVP so,” Carmy shrugs, his eyes following one of the caterers as the woman plates a few Hors d'oeuvres on a large serving platter.

Before Sugar can say anything else about their mom, Carmy’s impulse takes over as he opens his mouth to give feedback to one of Derek’s assistants.

“Carmy!” she snaps, blocking his pathway with her body, before repeating one more time:

“Let. Us. Handle this.”

“I mean, are any of us actually surprised, Nat?” Sydney adds, as soon as she enters the kitchen from where she’s been outside in the backyard, in search of another plate to bring out. “He’s a control freak! We know this!”

“I-,” Carmy starts, knowing it’s no use protesting, as both Sugar and Syd begin guiding him out of the kitchen and into the living room.

“C’mon, Carm. Why don’t you go see what your wife is up to?” Sydney suggests, emphasizing your new title, earning a snicker from Natalie.

“Who’s wife? This wife?” you ask, as soon as your feet hit the bottom of the staircase.

“Woah,” is all Carmy says. He can’t help but stare, gawking at you in your new dress.

You’ve changed out of your near-floor length wedding dress into a sleeveless white blazer dress that’s much more friendly to hanging out with your friends and family outside, kept your hair the same, and put on one of those super stay red lipsticks that you’re eager to put through its paces.

It’s as if time stops when he sees you, and Sugar and Syd both notice, using this time to retreat back to their duties. The only thing that can break his focus right now is the way that you let a carefree laugh fly from your lips, as soon as you see that Natalie’s using the future baby’s baby gate that Nat must’ve purchased early, to officially block Carmy from coming back to the kitchen.

“What?” Carmy asks, only to be met with a gesture towards what Natalie is doing.

He frowns, immediately seeing the baby gate his sister has put up.

“You know, I’m not a baby,” he pouts at his sister.

“Then stop acting like one!” she parries right back, before disappearing into the kitchen to help out your caterer.

Quick to console your husband, you wrap your arms around your neck, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

“They’re only trying to make sure we have a good time, Bear,” you offer, sympathetically, only to be met with a heavy sigh because you know it feels near-impossible for him not to be in the kitchen.

“You trust Derek right?” you ask this time, referring to the caterer that Carmy hand-picked for your wedding.

“Yeah,” he nods.

“Okay. Then let’s go out there. Make our grand entrance,” you suggest, a playful smile on your lips.

“Yeah,” Carmy nods again, this time a little more sure about taking a step away from what’s happening inside the kitchen. You take his hand, leading him towards the back door that opens up to the backyard.

You’re truly amazed at what everyone involved has been able to do this morning, while you and Carmy were off at the courthouse getting married. Long tables pushed together and covered with tablecloths function as the main attraction of the you-and-Carmy-wedding-reception-brunch, filled with ceramic plates, printed menus, apps on serving platters, taper candles and flowers in all kinds of little to big vases.

The minute the two of you enter the backyard area that’s been transformed into a wedding venue, you’re met with cheers, ooo’s and aaaaah’s, claps, and congratulations by your friends and family.

“Sugar really knocked this out of the park,” Carmy says, in awe as he takes in the scene. “Okay, fine. I’ll just have to trust, I guess.”

You nod, happy to hear the confidence in his voice as you agree, “That’s my guy!”

There’s a banner that hangs across a much smaller table, the one that holds the stunning wedding cake Marcus has made for you that reads, Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Berzatto.

“See? I told you I couldn’t wait to be Mrs. Berzatto,” you joke with Carmy, as the two of you walk hand in hand towards the table.

“I think I like the sound of that more than I should,” Carmy smirks, a glimmer in his eyes that says ‘I can’t wait to get you alone.’

“Can’t wait for you to show me later,” you wink, referring to the long weekend you plan on spending with Carmy as a pre-honeymoon. “C’mon. We should probably go say hello.”

“So… you two married now or what?” Marcus asks, as soon as the two of you approach the table.

You hold up your left hand, showing off your new ring, earning grins and more cheers from your friends and family.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” he celebrates, while Tina simultaneously and enthusiastically cries out: “Congratulations, babies!”

The plan is to divine and conquer. While you chat with Gary, Carmy lets himself become enveloped in Tina’s arms and praise, as the two of you make your way down the table saying hello to your guests: your parents, Marcus, Tina, Ebra, Fak, Gary, a few others from the restaurant, while.

Carmy’s glad you decided to keep this wedding small: close friends and family only, because he’s not sure he could’ve done any more of this. It’s just close friends from the restaurant and your parents. You’d even decided earlier that this weekend would be chill enough that you’d celebrate with Maya and Liz a few months later when you and Carmy stop in New York before the official honeymoon, planning another celebration with your New York people for later.

Besides, you don’t mind celebrating you and Carmy a few more times, after all.

Finally, you’re both able to settle into the empty chairs seated right next to your parents in the middle of the table labeled ‘bride’ and ‘groom.’ It’s a Saturday well spent, being celebrated by some of your favorite people in the world on a day you made a promise to your favorite person in the world. It doesn’t take long for everyone in the kitchen to join you at the table: Sugar, Richie, Sydney, and Pete, and once the meal is served, family style, you’re pulling up chairs and insisting that Derek and his team join you as well.

The menu is perfect, and you can see why Carmy’s been trying to get this guy to come work for him for so long. Next to Carmy’s, this carbonara might be your second favorite carbonara on the planet. After all the eating, drinking, and merry-making, it’s Richie who steps up to start the speeches, gently tapping a butter knife against a champagne glass as he stands at the table.

“Can I get everyone’s attention?” he asks, his voice loud. Richie raises his champagne glass as he begins his speech with:

“Now as the best man and this Bobby Flay-motherfucker's cousin, I think I earn the right to kick this thing off, eh?” earning a laugh from everyone around the table.

“To Carmy and his much, much better half,” he continues, earning a laugh from everyone around the table. Your mom squeezes your hand under the table, and out of the corner of your eye you can see Sydney nudging Carmy softly as Richie addresses you.

“You once made me $150 richer.” You laugh, exchanging a look with your now-husband, as you fondly remember the day you returned to Chicago, only to learn that the entire restaurant staff of The Bear had been betting, not on if, but on when you’d return.

“You see, we all took bets – all of us – that you were comin’ back after that first week you spent here in Chicago, and you know why? I think it was obvious to any jagoff with a pair of eyes that what you and Cousin had was something special – something not to be missed, or overlooked, or skipped over. And thank God you two idiots woke up and figured it out yourselves. You did good, cousin. And I know your brother would’ve wanted to be here for this. I love you, man. I love you both.”

“To this very special day, and to the rest of your lives. Cheers.”

“Cheers!” everyone repeats, raising their glasses, clinking in celebration.

The upside to having a small wedding party is having a small wedding party, and the downside is that everyone who feels the need to get in a word does so. While Ebraheim waxes on about love as a metaphor, Marcus keeps his toast short, leading to the cutting of your wedding cake:

Vanilla bean cake, with a clementine curd, a swiss meringue buttercream, decorated with delicate flowers, citrus, and dollops of curd to finish.

Richie slips out with Pete momentarily, earning a few quizzical looks from both Carmy and Nat as she gets up from the table to make sure they’re not trading punches in the driveway. It’s not till Richie returns with Pete, carrying a rented little karaoke machine for Ava. Hand in hand, you watch as Natalie guides Ava up and out of her chair, and over to the head of the table, handing her the microphone.

“You ready, sweetheart?” she asks, earning a confident nod from Ava.

The beginning of the famous Taylor Swift begins to play, and you and Carmy exchange a knowing look as she begins to sing along.

“we were both young when i first saw you i close my eyes and the flashback starts i'm standin' there on a balcony in summer air.”

As Natalie and Pete watch on, Pete hugs his wife close to her, tears in his eyes as he whispers:

“This is going to be us very, very soon.”

“Yeah,” Nat nods, holding back her own tears as she notices how proud Richie looks, and how happy Ava seems to be.

It’s not that she wants Donna here. Realistically, she knows that it would be a nightmare, most likely descending into drama and chaos from the minute she walked in, but she can’t believe that her own mother didn’t come to her son’s wedding. She shouldn’t be surprised, but it hurts more than she imagined, doing this, watching Carmy get married, having this baby with Pete, all without her.

Ava finishes her Taylor Swing song to a resounding and enthusiastic round of applause. Marcus cheers her on while you and Carmy share a soft, chaste kiss, welcoming Ava with open arms as she runs towards you.

“That was so good, baby,” Richie exclaims, when it’s his turn to scoop Ava up into his arms as you get out of your seat. Allowing Richie to sit next to Carmy while the two gush over her performance, you get up, eager to help put the karaoke machine away.

As she watches, Nat reminds herself that this is what family looks like – this is the family she wants for her baby – even if it means something, someones, are missing.

And it’s as if she can’t hold back her tears anymore, excusing herself as she jerks her body away from Pete’s grasp, hurrying back inside so as not to cause a scene.

“What just-?” Pete begins.

“I’ll go,” you assure him, having witnessed the whole interaction. “I-, it’s not you, Pete. I’ll go.”

It doesn’t take you long to find Nat, though she’s not where you expected her to be, having run all the way upstairs when you find her sitting on the floor of the baby’s nursery – one you helped paint and get ready over a month ago.

“Hey, everything alright?” you ask, as you gently push the door open.

“Yeah, no, I’m fine,” she sniffles, wiping tears out of her eyes as she realizes she’s no longer alone.

“Nat, what… what’s going on?” you ask her, joining her on the floor.

But it seems as if your question only makes it worse as her face crumbles once more, beginning to cry.

“Oh no! I-, Nat, sweetie, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it even worse.”

“No, no, you didn’t. It’s just these… stupid pregnancy hormones!” she exclaims, frustratedly, earning a small laugh from the both of you.

She takes a beat, and then a breath, and then finally, she feels ready to tell you.

“It’s Mom,” she admits, even though she really doesn’t want it to be. “I just can’t believe she didn’t show. It’s stupid, I know.”

You nod in understanding, before scooting a little closer to her, “It’s not stupid! And I’m sorry. For the both of you, really. Carmy doesn’t want to talk about it but, I know he’s some combination of relieved and disappointed too.”

Sugar sighs, “Yeah that uh, that sums it up pretty well. About anything involving Mom these days.”

Nat takes another breath, and another beat, because she knows she’s safe to share this with you.

“I just… I’ve just been thinking a lot… with the baby and everything. About family. About motherhood. I mean, your parents are so great and I-. I’m just sad for us, you know?”

“I’m sad for you too,” you empathize, rubbing soothing circles on her back, before leaning back on both of your hands instead.

“God, I’m so sorry. It’s your wedding day and I’m causing all the drama,” Nat begins to apologize.

“Oh, you have nothing to be sorry for!” you interrupt her, quick to dismiss any notion of that. “You lent us your house and put together all of this in your backyard on top of accompanying us to the courthouse! You have nothing to apologize for.”

Sugar nods slowly, processing what you’ve just said, realizing that you and Pete have been such big role models of unconditional love for her.

“Wanna know what I think?” you ask, your voice a little more optimistic this time.

“What’s up?” she asks back, stealing a glance your way.

“I think… that now that I’m a Berzatto… and with your little Bear on the way,” you begin, painting her the picture. “We’ve got a whole new chance to write a new chapter for the Berzattos.”

She looks your way once more, because these are the words she didn’t know she needed to hear.

“And with that… we can make this… make our families anything we want them to be filled with love, and joy, and-, well, only a little drama because you know, you guys are… you. But… Sug. This can all start with us, you know?”

“You really think so?” she asks you, a hopeful look in her eyes.

“Yeah,” you answer, confidently.

She nods slowly once more, almost as if she’s letting herself believe them.

“Thank you. For checking in on me. For… this,” she says softly, sniffling again.

“That’s what sisters are for,” you repeat her words back to her, one’s that she’s said to you time and time again.

“We should probably get back out there,” Sugar suggests, sitting up a little taller this time.

“Yeeeaaaaahhhhh,” you sigh, disappointedly, this time making a joke as you continue with: “We don’t want to start any rumors about us running away together.

Nat snorts with laughter, thanking you for always making her laugh, as you stand up, making your way to your feet. You hold out your hands, helping Nat up to hers this time, before the two of you head back downstairs.

“Hey,” Carmy says, as soon as he sees the two of you. “Pete said you disappeared.”

“We were just talking about some stuff,” you reply, sharing a look with Sugar before releasing her hand.

“I’ll leave the two of you to it,” she says, before slipping out through the back door.

“Everything okay?” Carmy asks, his brow knitted together in concern.

You nod, “Yeah, she’s alright. How’re you doing?”

“Today? I’m the luckiest man in the world,” he replies, a smile on his lips that makes you melt.

“Damn right you are,” you reply, pressing your lips against his.

It’s a private moment for just you two, where you can kiss him like you want to, and you have to admit that the lipstick holds up. Wrapping your arms around his neck as his hands go to your waist, you propose a grand idea to your husband:

“Now that cake has been cut… what do you say… we spend a little more time with our guests, say our goodbyes… then we get our honeymoon started early? Think uh… our room at the Langham should be ready by now.”

“Thought we already did that this morning,” Carmy smirks, kissing you again.

You giggle, leaning your forehead against his, “You know what I mean, jerk.”

Carmy scoffs, shaking his head incredulously as he feigns hurt, “Married for a few hours and you’re already insulting me.” Instead of adding anything else, he simply pulls you in closer by your hips murmuring against your lips:

“Alright then, Mrs. Berzatto. Then let’s go say goodbye to our guests.”

“it's a love story, baby, just say, "yes" – taylor swift, ‘love story’

462 notes · View notes

fortheloveofwonderland · 4 months

Text

Rusty | Chapter 8 | S.R

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter Summary - You and Spencer come across the wild horse who was responsible for his accident and she takes a liking to you. Luke gets a call from his old partner and is sucked back into a case from his past.

A/N - the second half of his chapter will take us to the BAU and we start to piecing together the readers past and why she was on the run. And we are finally introduced the to fics namesake.

Pairing - Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader

Category - strangers to friends to lovers | angst | smut minors DNI

Warnings - swearing, very brief mention of horse castration, talk of male ejaculation, very brief mention of past Maeve and past addiction, slightly pining Luke, mentions of Spencer’s assault and details of medical records following the assault, vague spoilers for CME, gun violence, past abuse, slightly angry Luke.

WC - 6.3k

Chapter 8 - A Horse With No Name

“Wait a minute. Hang on. Stop! Stop!” Spencer practically yelled and you slammed on the brakes at his sudden change in demeanour.

The car screeched on the asphalt, coming to an abrupt stop. Spencer was already working his way out of his seatbelt and trying to open the door.

It had been an uncomfortable morning to say the least. You’d been alone in his bed when you’d woken up and not at all surprised by that fact.

You’d found him down at the stable, grooming Wilbur. He didn’t look at you but at the horse when he asked if you could drive him into nearby Pipe Creek for a new cell phone after his old one had been smashed to pieces.

You complied and the two of you took a drive.

He hadn’t once looked at you all morning, not even when you’d stopped for coffee after procuring a new phone. Conversation hadn’t been much more forthcoming either and after several attempts to engage him, you’d given up entirely.

Now on the drive back, his shouted words which caused you to stop the car were the most he’d said all day.

You hurriedly followed Spencer out of the car, recognising the stretch of road to be almost exactly where you’d found him on his back in the dirt a few days ago.

He was hobbling to the side of the road and as you followed hot on his heels, you could see what he'd made you stop for.

“That’s her! That’s the horse that frightened Willow! The one that caused me to fall and break my arm!” He faux whispered, pointing in the direction of the large steed as though you wouldn’t be able to see her.

She was almost as large as Willow with broad shoulders and thick legs. She was chestnut red, her coat practically glowing in the sunlight. Her mane and tail were a golden-blonde and they waved manically behind her as she galloped in circles.

“Okay…” you frowned at the horse. “So why did we stop?”

“I…I don’t know.” Spencer turned to you, mirroring your expression. “I’ve never seen a horse like her. I find her fascinating. But I don’t think she likes me very much.”

As if on cue the beast let out a loud and booming neighing sound before she started trotting closer. Your back went up, shoulders squared as if that would help against any potential onslaught.

She was looking right at you, large eyes staring into your soul. She slowed her gait as she drew closer and you held your breath to see what she might do.

What she did so surprised both you and Spencer. She nuzzled her snout into your chest, making little appreciative noises as she did so. You tentatively raised a hand and patted the side of her head.

“What is happening?” You hissed at Spencer.

“She’s bonding with you. She likes you.” Spencer shrugged.

“Why?” You continued to pet her.

“No idea, horses are curious creatures.” Spencer dared to move closer, inch by inch.

He brought his good hand up to touch her but before he could she reared her head back from you and made a noise of displeasure.

“See, I told you she doesn’t like me!” Spencer grumbled, shrinking back.

“Lucky you.” You pulled a face as the mare nuzzled into you once more.

“I think you’ve made a friend.”

“I don’t want a friend.” You hissed.

“I think it’s too late for that.” Spencer chuckled at the little happy sounds the horse was making. “Stay here.”

“What?” You frowned at him as he started heading back towards the car. “Where are you going?”

“I'm going to go and get some riding equipment, we can take her back to the ranch and check her over. I’m pretty sure she’s wild though, but we can have the vet come out and check if she’s chipped.” He opened the driver’s door.

“And if she isn’t?” You grumbled, scratching the side of her face.

“We’ll keep her. I’ve been in the market for another horse.”

“We? There is no we!” You spat but he was already getting into the car. “Should you be driving with your injuries? And when exactly was the last time you were behind a wheel?”

“It’s only a few miles, I’ll be fine. I can't stay with her, she doesn’t like me.�� He shrugged.

“Yet you’re proposing you keep her? Are you…” the door slammed closed and you rolled your eyes. “Good. Great, he’s gone. And I’m talking to a horse.”

Behind you the engine roared to life and after a few false starts Spencer pulled away. The rust coloured horse tilted her head and looked at you inquisitively.

You hated to admit it but she was completely intoxicating.

***

Some half an hour later, Spencer arrived back with the riding equipment along with a mounting block and your riding boots.

Of course you were going to have to ride her home.

Spencer helped you to saddle her up ready but when it came time to mount her you froze up.

“This seems incredibly dangerous.” You tensed, gripping the reins in your hand whilst standing on the mounting block. “I’ve only ever ridden a horse once in my life. And clearly she’s got an unpredictable temperament. I really don’t want to do this.”

“I cannot mount another horse right now.” Spencer winced at the sheer thought. “After I had to ride down to town to collect you when you were drunk, I am certain I will not be riding for the foreseeable future.”

Of course you thought it was just because of his knee and he wasn’t readily going to tell you that it was also because of the healing cuts on his thigh. He’d been lucky with your wandering hands last night that you hadn’t come across his bandaged thigh.

“Oh throw that back in my face why don’t you.” You wrung the reins in your hands. “Spencer I’m fucking scared.”

“I have every faith in you.” He smiled at you.

“Really doesn’t help.” You rolled your eyes. “I hope she’s worth it, I hope having another horse is worth my death on your conscience.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re incredibly overdramatic?” Spencer scoffed.

“Says the man that was convinced he was going to be eaten alive by desert critters?”

“That was a very real possibility. But only one in every ten thousand horse riders die each year in a horse related accident. Around seven hundred and ten a year.” He told you a little smugly.

“Why do you know that?” You frowned.

“I know a lot of things.” He shrugged. “Will you get on the horse already? You’ll be fine.”

“Hmm, we’ll see.” You grumbled, taking a deep breath and edging your left foot in the stirrup.

You braced yourself, readying yourself to balance your weight on the ball of your foot and swing up over the horse. Lower yourself slowly like Spencer had mentioned after you’d thrown yourself on Franklin.

Another deep breath and you pulled yourself up, using the reins to hoist your weight. You forced yourself to slowly drop onto the saddle but even still the mare jostled a little.

“Whoa, whoa!” You wobbled, petting her neck. “It’s okay girl. Are you sure she’s a girl?”

“Trust me, there’s a huge difference, if you know what I mean.” Spencer clucked.

“I guess the saying ‘hung like a horse’ had to come from somewhere.” You mused, slotting your other foot in the stirrup.

“I’ll drive alongside you, we’ll take it slow.” Spencer ignored your bad joke.

You waited for him to climb back in the car and roll down the window before you gave a gentle tug on the reins and the mare started forward.

Apart from the side of the road being uneven and feeling a few times like you were slipping this way or that, the ride was surprisingly smooth.

The wild horse obeyed your commands, didn’t trot too fast and seemed appreciative of the occasional pat on her neck.

Spencer parked your car and walked alongside you towards the stable, giving the flaxen horse a wide berth as she panicked if he came too close.

“You’re a natural at this.” He smiled up at you. “She’s really taken a liking to you.”

“I’d be lying if I said the feeling wasn’t mutual.” You leaned forward and rubbed the back of her ear.

She responded with a happy little huff.

Spencer felt his heart swelling seeing you atop the great beast. There was something so fascinating about the way you got the unpredictable creature to behave.

It must be your aura, Spencer had felt it himself. You had a calming presence and clearly he wasn’t the only one receptive to it.

He opened the stable and motioned you into an empty paddock. He encouraged you to fill a trough of food for her while he called the veterinarian in Bandera.

You fed and groomed her, making the introductions to Spencer’s three steeds even though they couldn’t understand you. An hour later the vet came to check her out.

Doctor Watts gave her a once over and deemed her to be healthy and approximately three years old. She scanned the horse for a chip and found none, as Spencer assumed she was wild.

The vet didn’t stay for long and soon the two of you were alone again with the four horses.

You were hand feeding her some chunks of fruit and brushing your knuckles through her mane and Spencer watched you intently. You could feel his eyes on the back of your head.

“Would you stop staring.” You grumbled without looking at him.

“Sorry, I just think it’s sweet.” He smiled.

“Sweet?” You glanced at him over your shoulder.

“A few days ago you hated horses. Look at you now, you’ve got your very own steed.” He beamed.

“My…mine? She’s not mine, she’s yours?” Your hands stilled and you turned to fully face him.

“Oh no, I am not the one she’s bonded with.” He chuckled. “That horse right there, is yours Y/N.”

You felt a pang in your chest and you looked back at the chestnut red beauty with a watery smile. You stroked her face again and she nuzzled into your hand.

“I guess she is.” You whispered to no one in particular.

“What’s her name?” Spencer took one small step forward, not wanting to agitate your new companion.

You didn’t even hesitate when you answered.

“Rusty. Her name is Rusty.”

***

Spencer helped you get all four horses into the enclosed field so they could all begin in welcoming Rusty to the family. Willow was, unsurprisingly, not keen on fraternising with the other mare after their encounter in the desert the other day.

Franklin seemed to abide her but Wilbur was positively smitten. He wouldn’t leave Rusty’s side and the feeling seemed reciprocated.

“Uh, Spencer?” You cocked an eyebrow at him as you observed them, leaning against the fence. “I’m slightly concerned Wilbur is being too friendly.”

“Don’t worry, he and Frank were both castrated before I brought them. He can’t do her any harm.”

“Ew, sounds painful. Is that a normal thing to do?” You grimaced.

“It’s no different to neutering a dog or a cat. It helps to eliminate aggression and uncooperative behaviour in male horses. It’s perfectly normal.” He replied with a shrug. “Are you implying Wilbur isn’t good enough for Rusty?”

“I’m implying that one horse is plenty for me.”

“So she is your horse?” His lip twitched.

“Well you’ve made it clear you don’t want her. And I can’t just release her back into the wild.” You huffed.

“Does that mean you plan to stick around for a while?” He asked tentatively.

“While this place does have its perks,” you mused, pushing yourself away from the fence. “Something has to give. I can’t keep…doing whatever it is we’re doing and then having to walk on eggshells. You either want to just be friends or you want more than that.”

You hadn’t meant to say that out loud despite the fact you’d been thinking about it all day. Judging on Spencer’s expression he hadn’t expected you to say that either.

“I, uh,” he scratched his head, looking out across the field. “I like you, Y/N, I really do. And I do like the idea of being more than just your friend. But I don’t…I can’t…I am not ready for an intimate relationship and I don’t know if I ever will be.”

“Will you ever tell me what happened to you?” You sidled a little closer to him.

“Honestly? Probably not. But if it’s any consolation, I’ve never told anyone, baring my therapist.” He sighed.

“What about Luke?” You questioned, seeing the way Spencer tensed at the mention of his name.

“Nope, not even Luke. Which is partly why our relationship fell apart.”

“How am I supposed to stay here when I know barely anything about you?” You were chewing the inside of your cheek.

“You know more about me than I do about you.” He countered.

“Fine,” you shrugged. “What do you wanna know?”

“What were you running from?” He was quick to ask.

He watched your jaw tighten and you turned away from him to look back at Rusty who was still sniffing around Wilbur.

“That’s not important.”

“It is to me. I told you about my ex, you know about my dissociative disorder.”

“And you know about my step dad.”

“That doesn’t make us even.” He scoffed. “Are you in some kind of trouble?”

Your back straightened and you folded your arms around your body, hugging your sides.

“Why would you think that?” You kept your eyes trained on Rusty.

“Deflection. Answering a question with a question. You are in trouble.” He watched you for more signs.

“Seriously, what did you do for work?” You turned back to him suddenly, eyes narrowed in questioning. “You sound like…no. No, surely not.”

“What?” His eyebrows pinched together.

“You’re talking like a cop. But I can’t see it. You don’t seem like the type.” You scrutinised him.

“I can categorically tell you I wasn’t a cop.” He folded his arms across his chest. “Stop changing the subject. What kind of trouble are you in?”

“I don’t wanna talk about this.” You shook your head and started over toward Rusty. Spencer followed you.

“Because I’m right, you’re running because you’re in trouble.” He limped after you.

“Look, Spencer,” you spun back to him, eyes wild. “If you don’t have to talk about why you don’t want to fuck me, then I don’t have to talk about this.”

Your words caused him to stop in his tracks, your tone angrier than he’d heard you before. He didn’t speak so you continued.

“You and I both know last night you came in your pants. But you said you didn’t want to talk about it and I respected that. Show me the same courtesy.” You turned again, taking a few more steps towards your new companion.

Spencer ground his teeth together furiously, watching you walk away. He clenched and unclenched one hand at his side.

“It was the first time I’ve come in almost four years.” He spat out, unsure why he was revealing this piece of information.

When you looked back at him, his face was beet red as were his ears.

“Excuse me?” You didn’t move any closer to him.

“I told you I have intimacy issues.” He huffed. “Well that extends to…self stimulation.” He turned even redder. “So yeah, that’s the first time in nearly four years. Maybe three and a half. Closer to four.”

“Jesus.” You shook your head. “You really are fucked up, aren’t you?”

Spencer let out a dry chuckle.

“Very much so.” He nodded in agreement.

“I guess you’re welcome for last night.” You winked at him and his blush, which had started to creep away, appeared again.

“You gotta stop that.”

“Stop what?”

“Flirting with me.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because I might just do something really stupid.”

You swallowed as the look in his eye grew serious. You took a few hesitant steps towards him.

“Stupid by who’s definition?” You got closer and Spencer was also moving nearer you.

“I'm not joking when I say I’m not ready for anything intimate, Y/N. I don’t want to lead you on.” He still stepped closer.

“And I don’t want to be let down.” You agreed.

“Trust me when I say I am the king of letting people down.” He sighed wistfully.

“So, uh,” you reached each other, just a foot between you. “Friends, then?”

“Friends.” He smiled a little sadly at you.

“Okay, friend. How about we do something fun?”

“Fun?” He frowned.

“Come on, even in the middle of butt fuck nowhere there must be something fun to do.”

“Bored of your new companion already?” Spencer chuckled.

“Bite your tongue!” You gasped. “I will never be bored of her. And I didn’t necessarily mean right now. How about tonight, we go out and get, like, absolutely wasted.”

“I, uh, I don’t drink.” He shrugged, voice meek.

“Ever?” You sounded incredulous.

“Not for a long time.” He scratched at the back of his neck.

“Well no wonder you’re so uptight.” You rolled your eyes. “A few drinks would probably loosen you up.”

Spencer’s vision faded in and out in quick succession. He rubbed his temple with his fingertips, swallowing around his dry tongue.

There had come a point, long after his addiction that he’d made the decision to quit drinking. After Maeve’s death he’d used alcohol as a way to cope with the overwhelming emotions.

But after a while the alcohol wasn’t enough and he’d found himself considering something stronger, something much less legal.

He almost relapsed. And if he had he knew he’d never have been able to stop. He was already drinking far more than he ever had and had grown a tolerance to it, he knew something had to give.

So before he could let himself fall further down a rabbit hole, he quit drinking and hadn’t touched a single drop since.

“It, uh, affects my medication.” He lied.

“Oh,” you softened. “Right, of course. Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He shook his head. “If you want to go drinking, then don’t let me stop you.”

“You think I’m going to have as much fun drinking on my own?” You cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Seemed to enjoy yourself the other night.” He shrugged. “If you really want I will come with you, but I am not drinking. I can be your designated driver.”

“Hmm,” you mused. “Certainly more fun than drinking alone but less fun than having a drinking partner.”

“It’s the best I can do.”

“Fine, let's do it.” You agreed, turning back towards Rusty. “You know the guys are all super curious about you down at 11th Street.”

You started towards your mare who was still being sniffed around by Wilbur. Spencer fell into step with you despite his limp.

“Curious? Why?” He frowned.

“Because you’ve never been into their bar, never spoken to them. You’ve lived here two years and never tried to assimilate with the locals?” You reached Rusty and she turned her attention to you, wary eyes casting over Spencer.

“I moved out here so as not to have to assimilate with anyone.” He kept a keen eye on Rusty, not appreciating the way she looked at him and didn’t get too close to her.

“They think you’re rude.” You petted the large mare’s head.

“What are you like best friends with them now?” Spencer scoffed.

“I’m just saying, it really wouldn’t hurt for you to make a little effort with them. They’re nice people, who knows you might even make more friends.” Your tone was teasing when you spoke the last word.

“I have plenty of friends.”

“Back in DC?” You scoffed. “When was the last time you saw any of them?”

Spencer’s eyebrows pinched together as he led Wilbur a little further away from Rusty, his chest tightening. He wasn’t exactly ashamed of being a hermit, but when you said these things it made him feel incredibly lonely out of nowhere.

“It’s been…a while.” He spoke under his breath.

“Would it really kill you to just try and make a friend? I might not be able to hang around here forever and if I have to leave I’d like to know you’re not gonna be alone for the rest of your life. If you died out here, it would be weeks, maybe even months before anyone ever knew.” You run your fingers through Rusty’s mane, a wry smile on your lips.

Spencer pulled a face, shaking his head at your candour.

“Wow, thanks for that. Really driving your point home.” He grumbled.

“I'm just saying,” you chuckled. “If, for whatever reason, I did have to leave, I’d hate to think of you all alone out here.”

“I wouldn’t be alone. I have three horses and cattle. Four if, hypothetically, you left and didn’t take Rusty with you. I’ll be fine. Let’s get them back to the stable and feed them, I’m worried Rusty is considering eating me.” He scowled.

“See, just another reason I don’t want you to be out here alone. Believe me when I say she would eat you.” You teased, a bright smile on your face.

It didn’t last long though before you frowned and were clicking your jaw, fingers coming up to your face to massage the muscles.

“You okay?” Spencer stared at you.

“Hmm.” You nodded, fingers kneading the side of your jaw. “Old injury. It plays up sometimes.”

He didn’t question it but he continued to observe you while you put on a brave face, turned back to Rusty and effectively shut any further conversation down.

***

After hanging up the phone and printing the contents of the email, Luke Alvez compiled a case file and flicked through the pages. He leaned forward on the desk on his elbows, fingers laced together, chin rested on them while he stared at the printouts.

He hadn’t been concerned when Phil called, the two spoke at least once a week and met for dog walks with Roxy and Lou as often as they could. Probably more often in the two years since Spencer up and left, clearly Phil didn’t think he was coping. Maybe he wasn’t.

In truth, Luke still thought about his ex every day. Perhaps that was due to the fact his desk still remained empty in the bullpen, Emily never having replaced him. Possibly it was because he still held onto some of Spencer’s things he’d left in his apartment; a few books, a pair of mismatched socks, a tie, even his old CalTech sweater which Luke still wore around his home more often than he liked to admit.

Phil was probably right for checking in on him frequently, even after two years Luke was still grieving that relationship.

Spencer had been the only person Luke had ever dated that he’d seen a future with. He’d known early on that he wanted to spend his life with the dorky, awkward doctor. And maybe they would have, if it wasn’t for Cat Adams and Spencer’s stint in Milburn.

Luke had seen Spencer’s medical records from repeated trips to the infirmary, although Spencer wasn’t aware of this. He also hadn’t let anyone else on the team see them to protect Spencer’s already fragile psyche.

On three occasions he was reported to have palatal petechiae, bruising and lesions, and even burst blood vessels near the back of the roof of his mouth. The soreness he experienced meant he wasn’t eating much as solid food probably aggravated his mouth.

It was something Luke and the team had seen before and he knew the most likely cause of these injuries was from extremely rough oral sex. It was indicative of sexual assault, but not entirely probative.

Of course he never asked Spencer outright, knowing his boyfriend well enough to know that he would shut down if asked such a question. He’d tried getting him to open up, especially after almost a year passed and Spencer still panicked every time things grew heated between them.

And when Spencer had grown violent, Luke knew at that moment that the two of them would never come back from this. With Spencer’s hands twisting and pinning his arm behind his back, he knew they were over.

He’d told Spencer he couldn’t do this anymore, that he didn’t know who Spencer was anymore. He still loved him, he probably always would, but unless Spencer sought some real help, Luke had to walk away.

A few weeks later the team had been called into the roundtable room for what they thought was another case. Luke had frowned at Spencer’s empty desk, wondering where he was and why they weren’t waiting for him.

He’d known something was amiss when Penelope took a seat with them and didn’t stand at the front to present the case. Emily and Rossi stood, their features unreadable.

“What’s going on?” Tara was the one to ask, brows pinched.

“Shouldn’t we wait for Spence?” JJ voiced Luke’s thoughts.

Emily and Rossi exchanged a look, Emily puffed out a breath and Rossi offered her a small nod of his head to encourage her.

Luke felt his stomach coiling. His heart was thrumming violently in his chest. The last time Emily had called them all together like this without Spencer, it was to tell them of his arrest.

He braced himself against the table, waiting for the blow. Something had happened, something had happened to Spencer.

“A week ago Reid came to me,” Emily began, her voice fighting back the sadness. “After Benjamin Merva, he, uh, he no longer felt that he was an effective member of this team. He made the decision for himself to leave the BAU.”

“What? That’s crazy talk!” Garcia shook her head frantically. “We talked about this when they were holding us! We said the team needed both of us!”

“He’s been through a lot, Garcia.” Rossi spoke with a hint of melancholy. “More than anyone should ever have to go through. He was still dealing with his incarceration, and then this? It’s too much for one person.”

“But why isn’t he here? He didn’t say goodbye?” Penelope whined, tears filling her large eyes.

Luke couldn’t speak, could barely breathe. His vision was obscured, maybe by tears he wasn’t sure. The voices around him grew more and more distant, as though he and the team were getting further apart.

His brain was coated in a thick cloud, inhibiting his thoughts. Dizzy, he suddenly felt so dizzy. His hands held the edge of the table in a white knuckle grip.

“He’s probably halfway to Texas by now.” Emily brought her hand to her lips and started chewing on one of her nails.

“Texas?” Matt spat out the word as though it were alien to him. “What the hell is he going to Texas for?”

Again Emily and Rossi exchanged a glance. Truthfully they didn’t have all the answers, as was his way, Spencer hadn’t told them all the details.

“I’m not entirely sure. He said he needed to get away, sold his apartment and he was going to Texas. That’s all I know.” Emily continued her chewing.

“Newbie?” Garcia turned to Luke, a few tears trickling down from beneath her glasses. Luke didn’t move. “Alvez?” She clicked her fingers at him.

He still didn’t move.

“Luke, man, you okay?” Matt’s hand was on his shoulder, Luke’s vision petered in and out.

“You must have known about this?” Tara’s eyes were on him now too.

“I…I…we broke up.” He confessed. “A few weeks ago.”

A collective gasp sounded out in the room but it still sounded so distant to his ears. Matt’s grip on his shoulder tightened but Luke barely registered it.

“Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t he say anything?” JJ whimpered.

Luke blinked several times to try and clear the fog hindering his vision. He tried to focus on just one thing, one single thing.

Emily.

As the fog started to clear the image of his Unit Chief gnawing on her nail came into view and she was looking right at him.

Everyone else in the room disappeared. For a moment or two it was just him and Emily.

He cleared his throat, sucked in a breath.

“He’s…he’s really gone?” His voice trembled.

“He’s really gone.” Emily nodded stiffly. “I'm so sorry Luke.”

Even two years after the fact Luke could still feel everything he’d felt that day, the crumbling weight of losing the only person he’d ever really loved. In reality, he probably lost Spencer the moment he was arrested, but this had felt so final.

Since Spencer’s departure, things hadn’t been the same and the team was still adjusting to a series of changes which happened in the wake of him leaving.

Less than a year later, Penelope made the decision to leave the BAU stating she no longer understood how any of this worked. Matt had been sequestered for special assignment, Emily had been promoted to Section Chief and Rossi now held the post as BAU Unit Chief.

Since the pandemic the team had operated differently. On any given day it was mostly only Luke in the office. Rossi was still struggling in the aftermath of Krystall’s death and he, Tara and JJ mostly consulted on cases alone as they were short on the ground.

That was until the discovery of the network of serial killers who had been operating online during the pandemic, now clawing out of the shadows to become fully operational once the world was no longer on lockdown.

Garcia was back in a temporary capacity and Emily was devoting more time to her old team. The six members were working tirelessly to bring this operation down. And then he’d received the phone call from Phil and had an extra weight added to his already overloaded plate.

He couldn’t catch a break.

He was lost in the file and didn’t hear her heels clicking on the floor as they approached and it was only when she perched on the edge of his desk that he noticed her arrival.

“Rumour has it you spoke to our elusive cowboy?” Penelope clutched her unicorn mug between her hands, steam rising from the top.

“Word travels fast around here.” He sighed, sitting back in his chair.

“I like to be kept apprised of all communication with our fallen comrade. I'm so worried about him. You know he spoke to Morgan too? Yet he won’t answer my calls. Not for weeks! You, I get, but Morgan? They haven’t seen each other since he was released from prison.” She spoke fast, words blurring together.

Over the years Luke had gotten fluent in Penelope Garcia.

“I wouldn’t get your hopes up, it wasn’t exactly a pleasant call.” Luke swallowed. “We argued, no surprise. But it was good to finally hear his voice again.”

“How did he sound?” She brought her mug to her lips and sipped the liquid, Luke could only assume it was some variety of flavoured tea judging by the vague scent of berries he detected.

“Tired.” He shrugged. “Frustrated. I don’t know.”

“You know him better than anyone.” She exhaled.

“Do I?” Luke scoffed.

“You dated for two years.” She shrugged.

“And three months of that he was in prison. And then for almost a year after he could barely look at me let alone talk to me.” He spat, harsher than he meant to, Penelope pouted and he quickly steeled himself. “I’m sorry. I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

Penelope took another sip of tea as her eyes glanced over the open file on his desk. There was a mugshot of a woman in the top left corner and what looked to be the kind of information she would unearth in a deep dive.

“You working on your own cases now? You haven’t got enough to do around here?” She nodded her head at the file.

Luke followed her gaze despite knowing what she was looking at. He ran his fingers over the sheet of paper in an absent mind.

“Uh, it's an old case from back when I worked with the Fugitive Task Force.” He sighed, seeing no reason to lie to Garcia.

“Do tell.” She made herself more comfortable on his desk.

“A few years back she was arrested for shooting a guy to death. Claimed self defence, which I might have brought if she hadn’t shot him twelve times. She killed him and then reloaded her gun so she could keep shooting him.” He grimaced at the thought. He’d seen the crime scene photos, the guy looked like swiss cheese.

“Jeez,” Garcia pulled a face similar to Luke’s. “How’d she end up on your radar?”

“She was a classic femme fatale. Pretty, young, played the innocent victim well. She worked the courtroom, I’ve seen the footage. She had the jury eating out of the palm of her hand. She got a reduced sentence, murder down to 2nd degree manslaughter. She was sentenced to seven years. Seven fucking years, can you believe it?” He baulked, incredulous.

“I can only assume if the FTF was called in, she did not even serve those seven years?” Penelope asked softly.

“Like I say, she was a femme fatale. Manipulative, overtly sexual. Men were puppets to her.” Luke raked his fingers through his hair. “Upon transfer to her facility after trial she worked her magic on the poor, naive guard. Fluttered her eyelashes, pouted her lips, that kinda thing. The poor guy dropped his defences and she managed to escape. That’s where Phil and I came in.

“We chased her for months, eventually I got the call from the BAU and my services were needed elsewhere. ‘Bout a year ago they caught up with her and she was finally held accountable for her actions. And then just now, I got a call from Phil.”

Garcia wasn’t a profiler but she’d spent enough time around them to understand what Luke wasn’t saying and piece together the rest.

“She escaped?” Penelope exhaled.

“Yeah, a few weeks ago. There was a mass prison break at her facility much the same as the one at Scratch’s facility. She was one of ten women who escaped and now Phil wants my help capturing her.” Luke shook his head. “Which is obviously the last thing I need right now with everything else going on with the network.”

Garcia placed her mug down on the desk and leaned forward, picking up the top sheet of paper and scanning through the information.

“Abuse victim, father passed when she was young.” She mused out loud as she continued reading. “Precursors for violent crimes unfortunately. Who was this guy, Leon Sayers, the man she killed? Was he a random victim or…”

She looked up from the paper and at Luke who was shaking his head.

“Sayers was her abuser. Her stepfather. At her trial she insisted Sayers killed her mom but it couldn’t be proven. I think it was all BS, I think it was all part of a ruse to make the jury feel sorry for her.”

“You don’t think she was abused?” Penelope snatched up another sheet of paper and scanned. “I mean there were a lot of hospital visits in her youth, all chalked up to her being clumsy but…is anyone this clumsy? Jeez this one says at fourteen years old she was admitted with a broken jaw! She had to have surgery and her jaw wired shut for eight weeks!”

“I don’t doubt she was heavily abused but she skipped town at sixteen, and hadn't surfaced until her mom’s death. She could have stayed away but she sought Sayers out. Doesn’t that seem like premeditation to you?” Luke scoffed.

“Alvez,” she put the paper down. “I'm not condoning what this girl did but after my parents were killed by that drunk driver, it crossed my mind that I might like to take my own form of revenge. That kind of grief makes us go to incredibly dark places. And if he’d abused her before, it’s not to say she didn’t get into an altercation with him, it might have been self defence. Admittedly the overkill was a bit much, but it said she did have bruising indicative of defensive wounds at the time of her arrest, bruises in the shape of fingers on her neck! He tried to strangle her, Alvez.”

“You say you aren’t condoning what she did, but it sure as hell sounds like it.” Luke spat, pushing himself to his feet and slamming the file shut.

“Newbie, calm down.” Penelope stood too, putting a placating hand on his arm. “All I’m saying is that not everything is black and white.”

“Seems pretty black and white to me.” He growled. “Murder is murder, Garcia.”

“Except when it’s manslaughter.” She clucked.

Luke looked ready to blow his lid. If he were a cartoon he would have had smoke coming out of his ears. His jaw tightened and Garcia watched the way the muscle pulsed, in perfect time with the throbbing of the vein in his neck.

“Are you kidding me? You’ve been out of the FBI long enough now that your sense of justice has been warped?” He raised his voice, spittal flying from his lips. “I can’t believe what I’m hearing! Do you actually…do you seriously think-”

“Alvez,” a stern voice cut across the bullpen and Luke turned away from Penelope towards the sound. Emily stood up the top of the stairs, eyes dark and brow pinched. “Another container has been found. We’re meeting the others at the airstrip.”

Luke puffed out a breath, sucked another one in. He let his jaw relax and tried to quell his anger.

“Where we heading now?” He ignored Penelope still in his peripheral vision.

“Texas.” Was all she said before disappearing back inside her old office.

@kalulakunundrum @small-and-violent @voledart @katrina0-0 @bakugouswh0r3 @prettyboyandthefangirl @zooni92802 @marvellover1819

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x fem! reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

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matcha-kathrin · 1 year

Text

STRANGERS

Summary: You meet a stranger, share a smoke, and talk a bit about life in the chilly damp streets of New York.

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x reader. Now until these two actually introduce themselves you could literally imagine whomever you want, while I was writing i was thinking about Pedro (how weird!). So feel free to interpret this one however you want.

Word Count: 3k

Notes/Warnings: No warnings, this is all pretty mellow, a bit retorical and a bit philosophical. This is a standalone piece, I consider it to be complete and imo it proves what i was trying to say by itself. I will however, be posting other parts of this that in no way influence it, so if you want to know what happens next tune in!

~*~

STRANGERS - Chapter One

It was a chilly night. The sky dark with lights decorating the edifices above you. You had decided to take a night for yourself, leaving the comfort of your apartment to hit the small bar that stood a few blocks from it. Every time you walked by it looked so inviting, the rough old exterior and the colored lights inside made your heart buzz. It seemed like a speakeasy, a place where they would hold live music nights, any and every genre depending on which night of the week you happened upon it. So there you were, much later in the evening than you expected, standing in front of the bar to light a smoke.

You were relaxed. More relaxed than you had been in weeks, it seemed all you needed was a drink and some live music to give you some peace of mind. As you took out a cigarette from the pack hidden in your jacket pocket you heard the bar door open next to you, signaling someone had the same craving as you did.

You turned and acknowledged the stranger with a short lift of your brows, who raised his hand slightly in response. Patting down your pockets you searched for your lighter, not finding what you were looking for.

“Need a light?” The stranger asked next to you, not close enough for you to hear him clearly but not too far either. You gave a slight nod approaching him, keeping a good distance between you as you would with any person you didn’t know. He lit up his zippo lighter and offered it to you, you bent down, cigarette in your lips as you took a few puffs to get it well lit.

“Much obliged.” You said, taking a few steps back to get the same initial distance, though somehow it felt as if you two were standing closer than before.

You didn’t really get a good look at him, the one thing you did notice was he had sunglasses on, big and thick rimmed, covering half his face. You found it odd, but you found everyone odd in this city. Sunglasses at night was the least of it.

He also had a messy head of hair, a leather jacket with a loose fitted shirt, he looked tired that much you could tell. Either that or he was tipsy just as much as you were.

“It was stuffy in there, wasn’t it?” You said just a moment of silence later. You never really did initiate conversation but maybe since you had been sitting alone inside for the past few hours you needed a bit of socialization. A little couldn’t hurt right?

“Yeah, I was desperate for a cigarette break.” He groaned, feeling your sentiment immediately, you smiled, neither of you looked at each other but just stared at the empty street in front of the both of you. If it weren’t for the passerby cars driving a few streets over and the music booming from the bar behind you you’d be all alone in the silence.

“It always gets stuffy at some point. I think cigarettes are just an excuse to go outside and take a breath of fresh air without looking lost.” You continued without thinking, getting a bit too taken by the conversation solely about cigarettes “Don’t mind me, I’ll shut up now.”

“No, no I mean-“ he seemed to struggle to find the words “there’s something nice about talking to strangers isn’t there? People who know nothing about you.” He waved one of his hands slightly around as he spoke, he was holding a beer in his hand, the liquid sloshing around with his movements. You nodded in agreement, taking another deep puff of the cigarette.

“People who won’t judge you.” You replied.

“Actually, strangers are the ones that judge you the most.”

“You think?” You frown at him and he just shrugs “You don’t?”

“Not necessarily,” you tilt your head in thought “I mean since a stranger doesn’t know you they can’t be influenced by any opinions that they have for you- or feelings. They have no reason to judge you.”

“They don’t need a reason to.” He answered taking another hit from his own cigarette.

“That’s the problem with strangers, without knowing you they have every possibility to judge you without feeling guilty or mean, so wouldn’t it be easier for them?” He turned to you slightly as he gestured sluggishly, you could hear the slight playful tone in his argumentation. You were glad he was having as much fun talking nonsense as you were.

“Not really, sometimes it’s easier for us to feel entitled to our opinions when we know the person they’re directed to.” You tried to sway his mind but he just pressed his mouth in a tight line, not convinced.

“Take us for example. You know nothing of me, I know nothing of you. Yet we found common ground in our appreciation for smoke breaks. That being said it doesn’t mean I know you any more, meaning that your opinion on the matter of judgement does not faze me, therefore I don’t judge you for it.” You laughed when you saw his exaggerated confused expression.

He seemed familiar the more you spoke with him, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. The glasses and the dark lighting were definitely not helping. Plus, everyone looked familiar in this city.

“I mean we’re proving my point each passing second!”

“Mmmh I dunno, how can you be so sure you won’t judge me for-” he looked at himself trying to find something to use as an example “-how I stand?”

“How you stand?” You repeated, he nodded lifting his arms to the side to let you judge the way he stands. You lifted a brow, amused by his perseverance in proving you wrong.

“Why should I judge you for how you stand? You might have a bad back, or better yet you might be tired, or who knows maybe you even have a fake leg.” He gasped dramatically and you laughed, wondering if he was being serious.

“So you’re saying I stand in a bad way?”

“No! You just look tired.”

“See? You judged me.”

Rolling your eyes you frowned “That’s not judging that’s being observant.” You corrected.

He lifted his arms in a shrug once more, offering you one of his own cigarettes seeing you had finished yours, you happily obliged, thankful he lit it for you too.

“How do you tell the difference?” He mused, and you realized you had turned from being two people minding their own business to an unlikely pair. You didn’t know his name, didn’t know his age but he definitely looked older than you, and you didn’t really want to know. He was just another person living in this city just like you.

“Easy. Judging is always mean. If I say you look tired that’s not being mean, it’s being observant.”

“I’ll give you a pass on that just because I am actually tired.” He groaned; you laughed in agreement. So were you, you always looked tired. You couldn’t help it, you were working yourself to the bone, so of course you were dead tired the one night you decided to take some time for yourself.

“Tell me about it.” You mumbled, he just chuckled alongside you, then you turned with a frown. “Why did you come out? Why not just stay home and rest?”

“Careful now, the more you ask the less we’ll be strangers.” He warned playfully, you looked at him unbothered “I didn’t ask you why you were tired I asked why you chose to go out despite being tired.” You corrected him once more, for being someone easy to talk to he really did seem to need a lot of correcting.

“Aaaah and that makes a whole difference.” He teased, you shook your head at his tone.

“Of course it does, I won’t know any more about you if you tell me why you decided to come out here tonight.”

“There’s no going back.”

“I’ll take my chances.”

“You’re sure?”

“Positive.”

He scrunched up his face, giving you one more moment to stop him. But you didn’t, you just stayed there with one brow raised, waiting for him to reveal such a fundamental truth about him. Why he had decided to go out.

“I needed a break.”

“I feel like I know you better already.”

“Oh, shut up.” He chuckled and you laughed with him, shrugging when he gave you a look from underneath his sunglasses, he had brown eyes, that much you could tell from the split second he lowered his head to look at you from beneath them. Again a flash of recognition hit you, but you couldn’t pin point where or when or how you had seen him. You were sure you had never met him. Not to raise your ego but people usually took notice to you, rarely did people forget your face, you were more the forgetful one.

“I needed a break from…everything.” He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck and looking back out to the street. You hummed, waiting for him to continue.

“Remember how you said it always gets stuffy at some point?”

“Yeah that was 5 minutes ago.” You smiled, he just waved his hand as if to tell you to go with it, so you just nodded.

“That’s how I feel. Stuffy. Not just in nights out at bars but in general. Like I can’t really get away from where I am right now, no matter how many cigarette breaks I take.”

You hummed, but he just cleared his throat nervously, not sure if to continue or just shut up all together.

“So, you feel stuck?”

“Stuck- yeah. Like in a- in a box.”

“Caged almost.” You mumbled. That’s how you were feeling. Stuck, trapped, caged. You desperately wanted to resurface from the deep abyss you had swam down in, but it was harder and harder. You had almost forgotten all about it until the stranger brought it up.

“I guess…all I can say is you’re not alone?” He chuckled at your words and you pouted, you sounded so unsure you almost laughed at yourself with him.

“I mean, everyone says that. And a lot of times it doesn’t really help to hear that. But I do feel the same as you. Stuck, trapped, sometimes lost even. Am I doing all of this right? Or have I just been circling around it this entire time? Will I leave the routine I’ve inevitably found myself in or will it change? I don’t know if that’s what you feel but, that’s what it makes me feel.” You whispered the last part solemnly.

You didn’t mean to go so hard on it, but it was true, every word. It was weird how easy it was to say these things to him. A man you didn’t know, didn’t care to know. But he was staring at you intently, listening to every word, watching your eyes as they looked around as you spoke, as if you were unsure. But your voice was strong, clear, in the 10 or so minutes you had been conversing you had planted your feet on the ground, not being swayed in the slightest by every ridiculous notion he was throwing at you. He liked how you corrected him, he liked how your voice sounded. He could listen to it all night, no matter what you were talking about.

You didn’t seem to read all these thoughts he had as you waited for him to reply.

“It’s not exactly what I feel but…it’s close. Especially the part of being responsible for being stuck in the first place.” He sighed, sipping his beer he had almost forgot he had.

“I said inevitable, not responsible.”

“Same thing.”

“Maybe,” you lulled, taking out yet another cigarette, and he quickly took his lighter as he saw you. You chuckled, even if he was turned he noticed your cigarette, he was aware of you. That much you could tell.

Again you placed your lips on the cigarette, puffing a bit as he lit it, looking up to him from below.

That look made his chest do a summersault all of a sudden. You looked…divine. He hadn’t really taken much notice to you when he had stepped out for air, then you started talking and it grabbed his attention, but now he was fully immersed. Noticing how your hair framed your face, how your dark eyes looked at him, acknowledging his presence and help as he lit your cigarette. Then you got up from your slight bent position, blowing out the smoke that was in your lungs, giving him a nod in appreciation.

“Or maybe you can’t distinguish when something is inevitable or solely in your control.” You teased, he huffed shaking his head as he lit his own cigarette, already losing count of how many he’s had.

“Careful, I might think your judging me.”

“Maybe I’m just observant.”

“Then proceed, observant little stranger.”

His voice came low, making you shiver when he called you little. How dare he? You liked it, but how dare he? Strangers weren’t so familiar with each other; strangers didn’t make you shiver for any other reason than the cold. Yet he was. And all he had to do was laugh, tease, or call you a little stranger to make your heart beat even the slightest bit faster.

“You have control over your own actions,” you explained, gesturing your hands in front of you as if explaining things to someone oblivious. He loved it.

“not to be confused with your feelings. You have no control over those, unfortunately.” You mumbled bitterly; he raised a brow at your tone.

“Your actions on the other hand are solely yours. Complete control, even if you are driven by emotion you rationally always have the final say. What you don’t have control over, is others.”

“Others?” He mused, leaning against the brick wall of the bar, making you hesitate as you watched him lean in so casually, so intimately. You followed suit and leaned your back to the wall as well, not wanting to face him completely but still wanting to seem interested.

“Other people. You have no control over them, over their reactions, their choices. Let’s face it we have no power over anyone, sometimes we don’t even have it for ourselves. And once we accept that fact can we distinguish between the inevitable and what was purely our responsibility. So many times we’re defined by the things others say or think or do. Sometimes it’s…”

“Inevitable.” He finished, repeating the perfect words that expressed your sentiment. Your eyes fluttered to his sadly, feeling melancholy creep up in his voice as it was doing in yours

“Inevitable.” You repeated, staring into his glasses, knowing he was staring into your eyes too. And for a moment, it was just the two of you, not like it had been until then but even more. As if there was no music behind you, no cars in the distance, no lights on the street except for the warm one above both your heads. Again, he was a stranger, but when he looked at you, you felt…understood. As if by just lighting your cigarette and listening to your mindless thoughts it was enough. You didn’t feel so alone, even if you had gone out by yourself, even if you had wanted to be alone, at least you didn’t feel lonely.

“Well then stranger,” you whispered finally after what seemed like an eternity but was probably just a few seconds of a staring contest “I better be going. Time won’t stop just because I want it to.” Standing up from your leaning position against the wall you took out another cigarette, looking at him expectantly “One last time for the road?”

He was in a daze, after what seemed like the most beautiful conversation he had ever had with anyone in his life he was just about to ask you your name, but you had stood up, so nonchalantly, so calmly. As if you knew your night had come to it’s inevitable end, like all things did, and you both would have to part ways. Never to be seen again.

He didn’t want that.

“Will I see you again?” He asked, lighting your cigarette. Making you chuckle.

“Careful now, the more you ask the less we’ll be strangers remember?” You warned him, throwing his same words back at him.

“I don’t have to know you to see you again do I?” He teased, and you shrugged.

“Maybe this time your right.”

“Only this time?”

“Only this time.” You laughed, taking a few steps away from him, ready to walk the five minutes it took to get to your place. He didn’t offer to walk you back home, he knew what you would say, he could already tell what you were thinking. Maybe you weren’t that much of strangers in the end.

“See you around, stranger. I’ll be there the next time you need a break.” You called as you walked away, waving a hand, and turning your back to him as you slowly walked down the damp, chilly street.

“I’m counting on it!” He called out to you, but you didn’t turn, just kept walking, the fatigue of the day finally settling into you. He watched as you disappeared slowly until you turned onto another street.

He cursed, he should’ve asked your name, your number, anything. The city was huge; he might never see you again.

But that was the whole point. Strangers were supposed to never see each other again, they were supposed to meet at a random point in time, exchange a few words of wisdom to guide each other on their own path, and then part. That’s how it was. That’s why it was beautiful.

Nonetheless, you counted on seeing him again too.

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #x reader #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal imagine #fluff #flirt #the mandalorian #din djarin #matcha kathrin #pedro pascal fanfiction #matcha kathrin writing #writing #pedro pascal fluff #oneshot

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billthedrake · 10 months

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PRE-FROSH (CHAPTER ONE)

This story is a sequel to "Dad's New Life."

I was prepared to take a good amount of teasing, and maybe more, this weekend. But the guys in the Sig Ep house were cool, I had to admit.

I didn't think I was going to be able to visit. But my older brother Connor swore to my parents he'd keep a hawk's eye on me and keep me from drinking or doing anything I shouldn't. I got along OK with my brother, but growing up he was always kind of bossy, taking advantage of being three years older than me and more of the popular kid in school.

He was still that guy, only now I'd grown up, taller than Connor now, and had really bulked up. I'd say it was basketball and lacrosse, but a lot of it was just obsessively working out and keeping my growing teen body fed with enough protein to put on muscle. I still had a young face - and I had a good idea it would be a while before I could pull off a fake ID - but I was starting to get a strong build for my 6'3" frame.

I now sat in a big sofa in the rec room of the fraternity house, watching some dumb TV. Connor plopped himself next to me with a knowing grin. He had two beer cans in his hand and offered me one. "Not a word to Mom and Dad, Squirt," he admonished.

"Course not," I said, gratefully taking the beer. I took a few sips. It was cheap beer but I didn't care, I loved it.

"Hey O'Brien," one of the brothers said. Alan I think his name was. A senior and a stocky, goofy dude who I discovered was one of Connor's close buddies in the house. The Four Musketeers they called themselves, and Alan was the crudest of the bunch. "Is the pre-frosh gonna partake of Mike's services?"

I wondered if Mike was a drug dealer or something. I figured my older brother wouldn't be into anything too wild. He was the studious one in the family.

Connor got an uncharacteristically shy look. "Dude, it's my baby brother we're talking about."

"I'm not a baby," I objected. I'd turned 18 a couple weeks earlier.

This fraternity brother just gave me a sly wink before turning to my brother. "Like your brother doesn't get his dick wet. The young dude's a fucking lacrosse player fer Christsake."

Fuck, they were talking about sex. With a dude. I smirked, and Connor laughed when he turned to see my expression. "You don't even know what you're grinning about, Jase," he teased.

I shrugged, showing off as much teen bravado as I could. "I figured if it wasn't fun, you wouldn't be acting like I wasn't ready for it."

I could sense my brother was frustrated, cause he didn't object or act bossy, he just gave me a pale grin. "All right. Just remember. No talking about what happens this weekend. Promise?"

"Yeah, dude," I said, annoyed. "I fucking promise."

It was a half hour before Mike showed up. I heart his booming baritone voice coming down the SigEp house steps to the basement before I saw him. I don't know what I expected, but the guy was older, a lot older. Like, dad's age. And buff as hell. He didn't quite look like an ex-athlete, not like Coach Carson, but he was big and beefy and muscular, more of a gym-pumped build, but he clearly took real good care of himself. He wore a snug polo shirt and faded jeans and had a Chicago Bears ball cap on. His shirt was all filled out with huge pecs and big guns. I had jerked off to some bi and gay porn, maybe more than I'd like to admit. I never thought of myself as into older dudes, but something about this guy got me going.

Particularly since I was putting two and two together and realizing this buff older man really was somehow providing some kind of services to the fraternity brothers. Maybe just a handjob or something, and I wondered if he was actually a fucking hooker the way the guys acted so nonchalant.

"Hiya, fellas, how's it hanging?" he asked, giving Dale a fist bump. Dale was another one of the Four Musketeers.

"About six inches soft," Dale wisecracked.

It may have just been banter, but this was not what I was expecting for my pre-frosh weekend on campus.

Mike gave a soft chuckle and looked around. "Same room?" he asked.

"Yeah," Alan replied. "We set it up to make it extra comfy for ya."

Mike smirked but didn't take the bait of the taunt. He just asked. "Who's first?"

"Let the prefrosh have first dibs," said Kyle, a sophomore soccer player who had a whole stoner vibe about him.

I looked over at my big brother Connor, like he was going to object. He just shrugged in a "you wanted it," kind of way.

So I acted like I wasn't some dumb young high schooler and stood up. I felt the guys' eyes on me, almost giggling.

I followed the big guy up the stairs and down the hall. I don't know whose room we were using... one of the brothers', but Mike seemed at home, like he came here regularly. As we stepped in, I started to get nervous, my bravado going right out the window. The man caught on.

"I've not seen you around the house before," he said.

I stood awkwardly in front of him, shifting on my feet some. "I'm just visiting," I explained. "I'm still in high school actually," I added, then immediately regretted it. I was probably blowing my chance for a handjob right then.

But the man didn't seem fazed. His blue eyes twinkled beneath the brim of his ball cap and a smile formed on his handsome face. Up close I could now see the silver flecks in his stubble and for some reason I found that really hot. "Is that right, buddy?" he asked. "Not too young for me are ya?" he asked. Kind of flirty in his question.

"No sir," I replied. Feeling dumb for calling him that. "I'm a senior... just turned 18 a couple weeks ago."

He nodded with that sexy smile of his and now openly looked me up and down. "You're big for 18... you lift regularly I bet."

"Yessir," I said. I wished to hell my parents hadn't instilled that deference to elders thing in me so hard. I probably seemed like an idiot to this guy. "I'm a typical jock, I guess. Hoping to get a lacrosse scholarship somewhere." God, I was blabbing now.

"Nice," was all the guy said and like that he was crouching down in front of me. I'd lost any chub I had with the nervousness and the small talk, but now I knew instantly I wasn't gonna have a problem getting hard. I felt that horny tightness in my chest and throat as I watched this hunky guy get in position and run his hands along my legs.

Mike looked up at me. I tried to gauge his age. Late 40s to mid 50s. He was well preserved for sure, but also had a tan that made his face look more ruggedly handsome. "I bet you get a lot of attention from men."

I shook my head. "I wish," I replied. It was refreshing to be honest, even if I didn't even know this guy.

Mike's paw now massaged the growing boner in my shorts. "Just send out the signals, stud, and I can guarantee you'll get as much attention as you want." It was wild to hear his words in such a deep baritone of a voice, the Chicago accent thick as hell.

"Signals?" I asked. In addition to a handjob, maybe I could get some advice for hooking up. If I had the guts to back in my small hometown.

"Yah," he explained. "Eye contact, body language. Letting a guy know you're open to his advances." His fingers were now undoing my shorts. "I wasn't sure about you, actually. You seem the shy type."

"I've never done anything like this," I admitted.

"Na? Ever have your cock sucked, buddy?" he practically growled.

I shook my head. My heart pounded more. Maybe this was gonna be more than a handjob.

I watched as he pulled my shorts and underwear down. My cock flopped out, hanging in midair for a second before it bounded up into a hard upright position. I was hornier than I realized.

"Hot damn!" Mike gasped. "Cherry and hung as fuck." His hand wrapped around my meat, sending shock jolts of pleasure to my balls. The man's eyes seemed fixed on my dick. "Hell of a cock you got, buddy," he said. Then looking up, he asked, "You Connor's brother?"

"Yeah," I replied. Blushing some. I guess I figured Connor partook of Mike's services, but this was crazy to think about. My dick enjoyed the idea of my big brother getting sucked, though. It jerked in Mike's mitt.

He returned his attention to my crotch. "I could tell. Though you're even bigger than him.... fuck!" He paused and licked his lips. "God, I love virgins."

And like that I watched, almost as if in slow motion, as this middle-aged hunk leaned in and started taking me into his mouth. He used his mouth to wet me down at first, just an inch or two, but it felt incredible. Pleasure but also the novelty of sensation. I'd not been entirely truthful. I'd fucked a couple of chicks, that drunk fumbling at parties kind of fucks, and I'd dated one girl who let me feel her up and she'd give me a handjob. THIS, though, was another world. Mike knew what the fuck he was doing.

The kicker was when he pulled back a second and took in a breath then swallowed me all in one go. His throat felt snug and tight but it was the nastiness of the action which caught me off guard.

Not as much of a shock thought as a voice in the room.

"How is he, Pre-Frosh?" It was Craig, a fit, muscular junior, a kind of typical popular frat dude. The fourth guy in the Four Musketeers group my brother hung out with. I'm guessing he was sent in to keep an eye on things and make sure I was OK.

"Fuck," I gasped. Switching personalities now that I was trying to impress one of Connor's brothers. "Dude knows how work a cock."

Indeed, as I spoke Mike was bobbing up and down on me with slick sounding mouth strokes, his spit running down my balls.

I got a better view of Craig as he stepped up. He always wore his longish dirty blond hair under his ball cap and I saw his cute-handsome face examine my own. "You gonna nut soon, bro?"

I shook my head. "I could. But I want this to last." It was my first time out, and once I got over the fear of a quick trigger I'd settled into enjoying the rising and cresting pleasure without quite orgasming. Though I felt it could come any second now.

"You up for sharing?" he asked. Cautious. I had a sense if it was any other brother, he would have butted right in. But I was Connor's kid brother.

I pulled back and we both laughed as Mike tried to follow me, latching his lips on my meat before I finally broke free.

Craig was already pulling down his sweatpants to reveal his hard dick. He was regular sized, with a good looking cut cock. I enjoyed seeing it but also was proud I outmeasured this college bro.

"Hot," Mike gasped as he moved from his crouch to a kneeling position. Craig played host by offering a folded towel for his knees. The man pulled off his ball cap and tossed it aside. His hair was short and showed a good bit of gray on the temples, but he had enough length on top to give that matted-tousled look from his cap. Mike was still in his polo and jeans and his muscle looked pretty amazing as he scooted toward Craig.

"Fuck yeah," the fraternity brother grunted. "Suck my fucking cock dude."

Craig's eyes were down on Mike, eagerly watching the big guy do his work. Craig's smaller size meant Mike could go wild, battering his own throat with hard and fast movements of his skull.

I didn't know where to keep my eyes. On Mike and his slutty thrill in sucking cock. Or on Craig, who was clearly responding to the sexual stimulation in his face and whole body.

Craig finally reached down and held Mike's head, steadying it and slowly pushing him off.

"It's O'Brien's turn," he said with a chuckle. "I know you like the big ones, Mike," he added.

"I do," the man admitted without shame. He gave Craig's tool one more lick then watched as I stepped up to where Craig had been.

Somehow his BJ now had warmed him up for me. It wasn't just the deep throat that got me off. It was the swiveling motion of his head and the milking suction. Involuntarily I gripped the sides of his head to brace my body.

"Oh SHIT!" I cried. I was entering orgasm now, one that put my previous ones to shame. I saw white for a second and felt light headed. Like Mike was sucking out my consciousness along with my cum.

I heard Craig laughing. "Go for it, bro!" Then. "Niiiccce."

Mike finally spat out my prick. "If you want seconds, stud, you know where to find me," he winked.

Craig meanwhile was practically pushing me out of the way, eager for his turn, his dick reddened and leaking in excitement. "Tell the next guy he's up," he said as he thrust back in between Mike's wet lips. "It won't take me long."

I found my shorts and underwear and put them back on, taking one more view of Craig, who was actively fucking the big burly dude's face.

Everything about this was so crazy and so exciting. A couple of the guys on the team had bragged about gangbanging Kelsey Myers, but I think they were bullshitting. And here was an out-there gangbang happening in my brother's fraternity house.

I was still flush and breathing heavy when I returned to the den. "Who's next?" I said, as I plopped next to my brother on the couch and picked up the beer can, which hadn't warmed up too much. I took a sip of the cheap watery stuff, which for whatever reason tasted like the best goddamn beer I'd tasted.

I could tell Connor was watching me, trying to read me. I turned to him. "What, bro?" I asked, maybe acting more annoyed than I was.

"You OK, Jase?" he asked in a low voice.

I nodded. "Why wouldn't I be?" I said, trying to play it cool. "That was awesome."

He paused and took a sip of his own beer. "You won't mind if I go in there soon?"

"Fuck no," I said, getting the courage to make eye contact with my brother. We were two O'Brien men experiencing the same cocksucker. It was a strange bonding experience for sure. "I'd feel bad if you didn't on my account."

Indeed Connor's turn was next and he got up off the couch, a boner already forming in his sweats. I had never thought of my big bro like this, but indeed he had a pretty big tool.

He was gone about ten minutes. Good for him. When he came back he was flush like I was, the Irish genes making his cheeks rosy pink after sex. I could tell he was embarrassed to have done that with me there, and I enjoyed being the laidback one for a change.

"Seriously, bro," I whispered. "Thanks for letting me do that. You know, for not getting all protective and shit."

He shrugged. "Just don't tell Mom and Dad," he warned.

"What the fuck would I tell them?" I said with a chuckle.

Connor laughed. "You got a point there."

We were watching some dumb MTV reality show, but mostly my attention was on the brothers as one by one they got up to go partake of Mike's services. Alan might have been the last to do so, and when he came back he asked, "Anyone up for seconds?"

I heard the guys laugh as I stood up.

"Pre Frosh is going back!" cried one of the guys. I hoped I wasn't embarrassing Connor or anything, but I had tasted the forbidden fruit and wanted another bite while I still had the chance. I ignored the taunts and made a beeline back to that room.

The door was ajar and I pushed my way in. I saw Mike's polo shirt before anything else. It was on the floor, a few feet away from where that folded towel was, and his discarded jeans.

The man was lying on the bed, face down and ass up in a dreamy quiet repose. I underestimated how muscular he was. That ass alone jutted up in two round hard globes and his back dipped down then swelled up in an amazing mass of lats and rear delts. The back was tanned and totally smooth, a contrast to his pale but furry buns.

I was taking off my shorts and underwear when Mike turned and looked over at me. "I was hoping you'd come back, buddy," he said in his deep soft voice. "You eager for the full ride?"

I wasn't the brightest guy I suppose but it was dawning on me what he meant. At least one of the brothers had fucked him and Mike was now asking me if I wanted to fuck him too.

"Yeah," I said. Like it was a normal occurrence for me. My dick was rock hard again and I fisted it a little.

Mike gave a smile as he watched me get closer to the bed. "Damn, I'm gonna feel that in me good, aren't I?"

Somehow he knew how to be flirty as hell in a masculine way that got me rock hard. Before this weekend I would have imagined I'd enjoy having sex with one of Connor's fraternity brothers instead. Living out some SeanCody or CorbinFisher fantasy. But this older guy was pushing my buttons big time.

"Yep," I said, trying to act cocky like Craig or the other guys had. Only I didn't know where to start when it came to fucking. Surely it wasn't as easy as in the porn videos.

Thankfully Mike seemed to read my hesitation. "Just climb on buddy. Daddy's all lubed up for that big monster."

I wasn't sure what I thought of the daddy thing. But this man was so hot and so clearly in heat, humping the bed some and hiking his meaty ass up for me as I got onto the mattress.

His muscle felt warm beneath me as I stretched my body on top of his, trying not to put all my weight down on him, but just enjoying this. It was so different than fucking a chick, the complete lack of hesitation as Mike reached back and gripped my tool long enough to guide me in place.

"You have an amazing body, stud," he hissed. "Hot fucking high school senior."

My prick felt the wetness of the lube. Then as I pressed in past his recently fucked folds, I knew it wasn't just lube. I'd heard the phrase sloppy seconds of course but it was insane how sloppy Mike's ass felt. Tons of fraternity cum awaited my dick as I bored inside him. I knew not to just ram it in him, and in a way I savored the slow inching in and the way the man's cuts clung to me.

"You have a great body, too, Mike," I said, now letting my chest press more against his back muscle. A thought occurred to me. "You let guys do this a lot?" I asked.

He leaned his head back up against my neck. It took me a second to realize he was moving his ass back against my hips too, doing some of the work to penetrate his ass with my long cock. "Yeah, I do," he replied, matter of fact. "That bother you, buddy?"

"I don't know," I said truthfully. "I guess it's kind of hot.... thanks for letting me do it."

Mike let out a deep growl. "Anytime buddy... that dick of yours feels AMAZING."

I sawed some inches in and out then decided to go for it. Sending my hips forward I pressed all the way inside him. I'm thick and long and I know Mike really felt that.

"Oh FUCK YEAH, buddy!" he grunted, pushing his chest up a little as if to challenging me to press him back down to the bed. I did, accentuating my movement with another thrust into him. "Love that horse meat ya got."

I would have loved this anyway. Losing my virginity with a man. Having my first ass fuck. But Mike was gonna spoil me, I knew. The man just loved sex and his love was infectious. I held on to his shoulders and started fucking. Not hard but with a steady deep pump. Maximizing the pleasure on my cock but also aiming for that vocal response from him.

"Take that dick, man," I growled in his ear as my hips now worked faster. Mike was bigger and more muscular than me but I had the leverage position to hold him steady while I nailed him, as well as the sex adrenaline pumping in my veins.

I worried I was going too hard, but the harder I nailed him the more he seemed to get into it.

"GODDAMN! High schooler fucks like a porn star," he growled.

I worried the brothers could hear us mate. Then I hoped they could hear everything. I was riding that excitement of my first piece of ass, and I was rising to the occasion. I now knew why my lacrosse buddies were so excited by pussy, but this was even better.

His ass was slick and I could feel the wetness along my cock and balls and had a good idea all that cum was frothing up his furry crack. A few of the fraternity brothers had fucked and bred Mike's hole. Connor was probably one of them, I thought.

That idea I was fucking on my brother’s load made my balls tighten immediately. "Holy fuck," I gasped, my cum working up real quick. A part of me wanted to slow down and enjoy this more. That part of me lost out, though. I held on tighter to Mike's beef and just went to town, cumming deep inside the man's guts.

"Get it, buddy!" Mike cried, eager for my seed. I had no idea if he was going to get off. Maybe he did earlier. Right now it was just about my spurting prick and my pure need.

I rode out the cum and finally slowed my roll, now kissing along the man's neck and feeling up his body.

"Hmmm," the man muttered. "You sure that was your first, Stud? You fuck like a champ."

"Yeah," I chuckled. "Hell of a first time, too," I said. "I'm gonna remember this one for a long time."

"I'm glad, bud," he said. "Damn... it feels like I got a baseball bat wedged up inside me."

"Sorry... I can pull out," I said.

"Don't on my account," Mike said, softly, almost shyly. "I mean, I figure an 18 year old jock has another in the tanks, right?"

My dick wasn't going soft and while I wasn't 100 percent sure I could come again soon, I knew I wanted to get as much Mike time as I could. It might be a long time before I had a chance to fuck a man again. "Yeah," I replied.

I humped him some more, before Mike asked if I wanted to try some other positions. We didn't do them all, maybe, but I had a good number of firsts that afternoon. Missionary, cowboy, reverse cowboy, standing. But we finished in doggy, which might have been my favorite.

I felt like a total stud when I finally dismounted and saw how much cum I'd added to Mike's hole. I gave his rump a gentle pat which made the man laugh.

He watched as I got dressed again. "You around town for long?" he asked.

"Just the weekend," I said.

He grinned and looked me up and down. "If I give you my number, will you hit me before you go?"

This is not how I expected my college visit to go. "Hell yeah," I said.

Mike slid out of bed, his beefy body looking amazing all naked and some wiry silvery hair in his chest fur. His dick was pretty soft but I could see the trickles of fresh cum dripping down the insides of his hairy thighs. He found his wallet and fished out a card to hand me.

It read “Daddy Mike” with a phone number, Insta and Twitter handle and OnlyFans URL.

"Are you a porn star?" I asked in surprise. I now felt like a small-town hick for sure.

"Just like to have a little fun," he said. "If you're the jealous type don't look me up online," he said. "A couple of dudes learned that the hard way." He seemed weirdly apologetic to be warning me.

"If what we did just now was a 'little fun' I'd hate to see a lot of fun," I joked.

"The weekend is still young, Pre Frosh," he winked.

I was a little lightheaded and thirsty when I got back to the den. A couple of the guys razzed me for taking so long and I notice Kyle and some other dude get up to go into together.

Connor seemed quiet, not pissed off but in a strange mood. Later, after dinner, we found ourselves sitting alone. My big bro decided to check in with me.

"I guess I shouldn't have been so worried about you with Mike," he said. An edge to his tone, like maybe he didn't approve. I don't know.

I sighed. "I'm gonna call him up tomorrow, you know, go hang out with him." It was a weirdly euphemistic way to say I was gonna fuck Daddy Mike again.

That hit my brother the wrong way. "Come on, Jason. I'm supposed to be watching out for you."

"Dude, it's gonna be fine," I countered. I didn't know if I could convince him of that, or if he needed convincing. Maybe he just felt guilty things had gotten out of hand.

"You know," I added. "I'm into dudes, Connor."

"Clearly," my brother laughed. OK, he wasn't THAT pissed off at me if he was joking around.

That made me laugh, too. "I mean, like, I know that's what I want. I'm gay."

"Oh," he said. "That's cool." Then, "you know I still worry about you, Jase. It's what brothers do."

"Yeah," I conceded. I shot him a wry grin. "And thanks, bro. I wouldn't have it any other way."

#drakestories

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lost-walmartbag · 8 months

Text

Warning: swearing

Background: Kyle decides to speak to you after years of silence

Status: ongoing

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Peace by your side: chapter one

September is an awkward month. It's not insanely hot but it isn't cold enough to not want to die every time you see stairs that are more than three steps. Sometimes it feels like the world is taunting you telling you to suffer. One day it rains and you think it's okay to finally wear that long sleeve you've had saved up only to look like a sinner in church by lunch.

So why do I keep making the same mistake every single year? It's been this way since I was a kid, but apparently, my brain turns to jelly by summer and stays that way until winter because nothing sticks. It wouldn't be so bad if the walk to school wasn't adding to how uncomfortable I felt in my long-sleeve shirt.

It would also help if I didn't know Kyle was behind me. I knew I shouldn't hate him but fuck. He didn't even try to stay friends after 'the incident' with our moms happened. I don't know many details all I know is I wasn't even allowed to think of the name Broflovski within a 20-mile radius of my house, let alone be friends with one.

Just walk straight for another 7 feet. Turn left. Another 20 feet. Turn right and boom you'll be able to avoid him properly. You got this Y/N!

It sucks that it has to be this way. Kyle just had to make it awkward by keeping his eyes on my every movement. He thinks I don't know he's staring at me right now, but of course I do. And it fucking sucks.

Just as I was about to take that left turn Kyle decided that today of all days was the day to speak to me again after eleven years of pure silence. Of course, I didn't help that but that's beside the point.

As I try to turn the corner, Kyle catches up. He is now on my right side and I try my best to ignore him until he speaks.

"H-hey. Um, how have you.." He stammered out before clearing his throat. "How've you been?"

I cringe hearing him stumble over his words. He was always kind of shy. Of course, he knew how to stand up for himself and I'd even seen him get in a few fights in middle school, but for some reason even when shy he was open with me. He never stumbled over his words when he was with me. Well, at least he didn't use to.

He noticed I hadn't responded and even though I was looking forward I could see his once-shy smile falter. He cleared his throat again and looked down at his feet while still keeping up with my pace.

Which I increased on purpose. Take the hint dude.

"Did you have a good birthday?"

"I guess." I manage to let out.

"Oh cool. Cool." He said, clearly struggling to figure out what to say next so the conversation didn't die. Not that it was really alive to begin with. I decided to put him out of his misery.

"It literally rained last night why is it already heating up?" I muttered and out of my peripheral, I saw him crack a smile.

"Yeah Mother Nature is a bit weird, isn't she? Pulling a weird prank that you fall for every time." He said huffing out a laugh.

I couldn't help but smile a bit even though I tried my fucking hardest to fight it. "I'll get it right one day."

"You know it's not so bad. At least you aren't a daywalker?" He said basically forcing a laugh out of my throat.

He used to do that a lot. Whenever I was upset about something he would bring up how amazing it was that I wasn't a 'daywalker' like him. It was a term Cartman had come up with, that he absolutely hated but then coined it for himself. He was a hypocrite like that.

I looked up at him for the first time since he walked to my side and I felt my breath hitch. Fuck. Fuck. I knew I avoided looking at him for the last eleven years but how the fuck did he change so much since the last time I actually looked at him? When did he get tall? When did he cut his hair? When did he get so....hot?

I quickly looked away. Fuck. Yeah, real smooth Y/N. Apparently, he seemed to think so too because I could see his shoulders shaking in my peripheral. My cheeks heat up and all I want to do right now is push him into traffic, or more preferably, myself.

As we turn right he switches over to my left side.

"Is it already too hot for the long-sleeve?"

"Y-yeah," I say feeling the heat run up my neck to my cheeks. I just want this to be over. "W-why are you even talking to me right now?"

"Oh um, I." He started. My question seemed to really throw him off and I couldn't help but feel bad about how mean I sounded.

"Sorry um, that was rude. I just- I mean I-"

"No no, it's ok. We haven't talked in a while and I...I guess what I'm trying to say is.."

Before he could finish speaking, a soft hand grabbed my arm and pulled me further away from his side. I look to my right seeing Heidi, pulling me away from Kyle. Heidi knew as much as anyone why I hated Kyle and she both loved and hated him for it. Loved because she happily filled his 'best friend' role when we stopped talking. And hated, because she was there to see how torn up about it I was.

I still am some days but I won't tell her that. She tapped me two times on the arm as her way of asking if I was okay. I tensed my arm in my way of telling her I wasn't.

Did I want to know what Kyle wanted? Yeah of course. But did I want to stay here trying to awkwardly fumble a conversation with the dude who has been ignoring me for almost 12 years? Fuck no.

She cleared her throat and I let out a silent groan as she prepared to act her ass off.

"Oh my god! Y/N I found this really cute bag at the mall yesterday you totally have to come with me it would totally go with that outfit you got last month." She said in an exaggerated valley girl voice as she practically dragged me away.

I looked over my shoulder to see Kyle start to reach out but stop himself. He watched me for a moment before hanging his head and kicking a small rock in front of him.

It's better this way. I used to miss Kyle and seeing him today just made things hard. If that's not a sign that we should keep this 'pretending the other doesn't exist' thing going I don't know what is. We both know it'll end badly if we don't.

I turn to Heidi who once out of earshot stopped talking about shoes and makeup and let out a deep breath.

"The things I do for you." She said dropping the weird valley girl voice.

"I appreciate it."

"Why was he talking to you anyway? What did he say?" She asked pulling her hand away from my arm.

"He asked about my birthday and-"

"Did you tell him about it? About the...thing?" She interrupted.

"N-no I just said it went well and then I asked him why he was even talking to me and then you came."

"How do you feel? He hasn't said a thing to you since you were what? Five?"

"Six." I corrected her.

"Six. And now outta nowhere, he wants to act all buddy buddy?"

"Look I don't know either ok?" I said with a sigh and leaned my head back as we walked to class.

"OK ok. How do you feel about it?"

"Fine? It's not like I died."

"No Y/N. How do you feel about it?" She repeated and I knew I wasn't going to get out of this easily.

"I feel...I feel. Not good? My face was on fire when I looked at him. I didn't notice how much he changed since the last time we talked and fuck when he laughed or smiled or breathed I felt...fuck I don't know."

"Was it purring?"

"Heidi! Ew gross!" I said putting my face in my hands as she laughed.

"I hate him if you hate him. I just wanna make sure we're on the same page. Do you still hate him?"

I bite my lip. Yes of course I still hate him. Is what I wanna say but is it the truth? His smile was so warm. He really didn't change that much. I used to love the person he was and if he's still that person does that mean that I still love him? Platonically of course.

"Hey~ Earth to Y/N~" Heidi said moving her hand in front of my face and stopping outside of our class.

"Yes of course I do. He abandoned me. Didn't even try not to. I hate him."

"Are you telling me or yourself?" She asked softly and I could tell she was serious. I look into her eyes and sigh.

"Both."

"That's ok. Let's go do math."

"I'd rather die." I grumble as we walk into the room.

"You will one day just after math."

A/N: Yo. Thought I could post since I had some free time to finish up this chapter. Hope It was to your liking cause I did like writing it. Also if you guys have given me a request don't worry I will get to them......eventually. Hey don't hate me please I just need some time and I really hope you guys can accept that and support me for that. I will get to them promise promise promise. So if you're thinking about sending a request I will do it but don't expect it soon. Especially if you can see and want it to be long. Anyway, enough of that. Thank you for reading I hope you enjoyed it. I love you all 🩷🩷🩷🩷

#south park #south park x reader #fanfic #south park x you #x reader #kyle broflovski #kyle broflovski x reader

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thesith · 2 months

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— Chapter Six: Reunited

Bedtime Story Masterlist | Main Masterlist

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“Echo?” Omega asked, looking at her brother, “What are you doing here?”

Echo allowed a small smile to grace his lips, “I’m here to continue the story, of course.”

Omega’s eyes widened with glee at the implication - Echo would finally be making an appearance in the story; how exciting!

“Master,” You started, now a year into your training under Mace Windu, “What happens if we don’t take back Anaxes?”

“We’ll lose the war, Padawan.”

A few moments passed before Captain Rex noticed a figure behind you, immediately walking to speak to him. It felt familiar to you - resulting in you zoning out, thinking of the various possibilities.

Your Master’s words snapped you out of your daze, “If the trooper has a plan, I’d like to hear it.”

Someone you believed to be long gone stepped up to the holotable - Echo. A gasp escaped your lips at the realization, but you needed to keep composure in front of your Master - if you hadn’t needed to, you would’ve ran to him immediately.

Echo’s idea was risky, to say the least. Taking a small unit to Admiral Trench’s ship was risky in itself, but feeding him information was even more so.

“Master, if I may,” you interjected, “I’d like to be part of the team that goes to Trench.”

Echo’s eyes finally made their way to you - eyes of admiration and determination, “I was also going to suggest that, General Sir.”

Windu took a moment to think, “Fine.”

You nodded and walked after Echo, a smile tugging on your lips, “Echo!” You called more emotionally than you’d preferred.

The clone stopped and turned to you, teary eyes blinking, “Commander. It’s good to see you.”

“Are you kidding, Echo? I thought you were dead!” You looked at where Master Windu stood and deduced you were out of his line of vision, before opening your arms to him, “I’ve missed you so much, Echo. Are you doing okay?”

He hesitantly walked into your arms, accepting the embrace, “I’ve never been better, but I’ve been as good as dead for the past couple years, so that’s not saying much.”

“What happened?” You took a step away from him, still holding onto his biceps, “I mean, after the Citadel.”

“I was sold to the Techno Union - they used my brain against the Republic,” He paused, taking a sharp breath, “I was only rescued from Skako Minor a couple rotations ago by Captain Rex, General Skywalker, and a special-ops Clone Force.”

Could it be?

”I’m glad you’re alive, Echo. I never forgot about you - I could never forget about you.” You looked around for any gazing eyes before pulling up your robes, “You’re a part of me.”

His eyes widened at the ‘1409’ tattooed on your flesh, “I’ve missed you too, Commander.”

“Echo! Commander!” Rex’s voice called from afar, startling you, “Time to go - General Skywalker and Clone Force 99 are already on the ship.”

Ah, so it is.

“We can talk more later.” You offered before jogging to the familiar ship, Echo in tow. You smiled as the ramp laid itself down for you, as it did on your departure from the Batch, “Home,” you whispered to yourself.

“Good ‘ta have you back!” Wrecker’s jubilant voice boomed throughout the Marauder at the sight of you.

A voice came from behind you, “Home is right, Commander.”

“Should’ve known you’d be so desperate to see us again.”

“I see BD-99 is doing well.”

Your family surrounded you - your full family, “It’s old home week - first Echo, now you four.”

“Commander, did you receive the image that I sent to your inbox a few rotations ago?” Tech asked, “We had an assignment on Yalbec Prime, hence the Yalbec queen in the photo.”

You nodded, “I did see it, Tech. How interesting that the male Yalbec tried to mate with you after Wrecker cut off the queen’s stinger! Did you know it’s a delicacy on various planets?”

“This is why you are my favorite.”

Wrecker was next to speak, “How’ve ya been treating Lula’s kid? I mean, how has Lula’s kid been treating ya?”

You laughed at his attempt to cover up his concern for his tooka doll, “Lula the Second is great, Wrecker. I think she misses you, though. She’s in my quarters on the Endurance currently - I’ll return her to you after the mission.”

An ‘ooh’ escaped his mouth, “You did remember!”

“I could never forget, Wrecker.”

“Nice to see you haven’t gotten yourself killed. Or maimed.” The velvety voice of Crosshair filled the air.

“Aw, so you do care!” You retorted with a laugh, “I’m glad you’re alive too.”

Anakin cut in, “Sorry to break up this heartfelt reunion guys, but we have to go.”

“On it, General.” Tech made his way to the cockpit, starting the engines.

“You know this lot, Commander?” Echo asked you, surprised at the less-than-cordial interaction.

You nodded, “I worked with Clone Force 99 for a year after Master Umbari…” You trailed off, leaving Echo’s mind to fill in the blanks.

“They weren’t just working with us,” Hunter interjected, “they were part of our squad. Always will be.”

“I remember when you were assigned to their squad,” Anakin reminisced, “They were odd circumstances.”

“That they were,” You replied, “The Council thought it best to assign me to Clone Force 99 while they found me a new Master.”

“I expressed interest in taking you on as my Padawan,” Anakin started, “The council declined, regardless of how desperate they were.”

“What happened to Ahsoka?” Echo asked, a new conversation spurring between the two.

You left them to their conversation, heading to the cockpit with Hunter trailing right behind you.

“Just like old times,” You spoke to the four clones that surrounded you, placing a hand to your heart, “It’s nice to be back in the Marauder. The Endurance is…”

“Awful? Terrible? Horrible?” Hunter replied, “It’s nice to have you with us again, Commander.”

Tech called Echo to the cockpit, as the ship was nearing Trench’s. Echo plugged in his arm, transmitting Separatist transport ship codes to disguise the Omnicron-class shuttle you were on. It was a genius plan, but you could tell the Batch didn’t trust him.

“Let him do this,” You said to the group surrounding you, “He spent so long unwillingly helping the Separatists, let him do this. For the Republic.”

That seemed to get them off Echo’s back, as they allowed him to lead the rest of the way. The mission was going smoothly until Echo was scomped into their database, receiving a new order that Trench activated a bomb on Anaxes. Echo notified your Master as he tried to decipher the sequence numbers.

“If you can’t get the sequence, maybe Trench will give it to us.” You said before running out of the room, feeling for Trench’s presence in the ship. You ignored the voices behind you calling your name, instead trusting your gut. You ran through the ship, finding Trench in the command deck.

After taking out his droids, you found yourself with your green blade at his neck.

“You won’t kill me. It’s not the Jedi way,” He clicked, very sure of himself.

You sliced off his artificial arms, proving that you indeed would kill him, “You had my best friend taken prisoner and used his mind to your advantage. Don’t tell me what I won’t do.”

Trench begrudgingly gave you the last digit to the code - 7. You adjusted your comm frequency to Master Windu’s, hearing them discuss the sequence.

“Let me take the guesswork out of it, Master Skywalker,” you said into the metal device, “Try seven.”

After your master successfully disarmed the bomb, you felt an excruciating pain in your left arm, accompanied by a thump coming from the floor. You groaned in pain before looking the culprit in the eye and stabbing him with your ignited lightsaber.

You turned your comm frequency to Anakin’s and called him for help, which he rushed to give you. After seeing a dead Trench on the floor accompanied by your missing hand, he tapped a few buttons on a nearby console, a hand-held detonator popping out of it.

“You’re okay. You’re alright, Padawan.” He consoled you, “I know what it’s like. Everything will be alright.”

You felt a sharp pain in your head, followed by your eyes closing. Before you could fall, Anakin caught you - “I gotcha.”

#xena’s bedtime story #xena’s fics #the bad batch #bad batch #sw tbb #tbb #tbb hunter #bad batch hunter x reader #the bad batch hunter #bad batch hunter #hunter x reader

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streaminn · 9 months

Note

Enid’s been having a pretty shitty day. She overslept, which lead to her getting chewed out in her first class…again. She bombed a pop quiz in a different class, which in her defense was unfair considering it was about next week’s chapter. Her gothic solace personified was unfortunately absent, something to do with her brother, so Enid was without her primary source of comfort as she trudged her way through their broken education system.

To top it all off, Enid now finds herself in a sewer system she doesn’t wish to be in, wearing broken web shooters that she just fixed, and fighting her dad in a battle she wants to be over. Enid is tired.

“Dad,” Enid says with such resigned energy, one would think she’s about to give up, “please, I need you to stop.”

She dodges yet another attack from her dad’s scaly tail, but gets clipped by his claws, leading to the spider knocking her head against the sewer wall. She rubs her head, only to look at her hand to find new blood. Through her damaged mask, her left eye is exposed, and compared to the more animated remaining “eye” of her mask, her real eye is a melancholy blue, tired, and in need of sleep.

“You told me you had this figured out. You promised me it wouldn’t happen again. How many more times are we going to have to do this?” The Lizard simply growls in response, the outburst echoing into oblivion. “Please Dad, I’m-“

Enid finds herself in her dad’s clutches, claws slowly digging into her sides. The spider pries open his fingers, but just as she jumps out of his reach, he whips his tail around and slams her against the wall with a booming thud.

Enid’s head rings as she struggles to get her bearing. She looks up to see the giant reptile barreling towards her. “Alright Dad, I’ve had ENOUGH!” At the last second, the spider dodges the attack, landing one right hook to the Lizard’s head, without holding back her strength like usual. The punch instantly knocks the reptile to the ground; he’s down for the count.

As her father slowly but surely begins to shed his scales and morph back to his normal self, Enid stands over him, with tears fighting to fall from her eyes. “We’re going home.” Once he’s small enough, Enid throws her dad over her shoulder and begins her trek out of the sewers.

As she shuffles on, the spider takes out her phone, chooses a contact, before putting it to her ear. After a few rings, the person on the other end picks up.

“Yes?”

“Wednesday? Are you busy?” The spider tries once again to keep the tears at bay, at least for a little longer. “I’ve had a bad day.”

Enid tries to breath, heavy and controlled even with the ache pressing against her side. "and like I totally get if your busy but-"

"I can talk," Wednesday cuts in and Enid allows herself a break because if she goes out there, she knows that she'll keep running and running and she doesn't know how much more she can handle. So she lays her dad down with shaky hands and slides next to him.

Enid watches him, eyes the way his chest still moves and it hurts to see him this way, covered in dried scabs and blood but he's alive.

That's what matters in the end, right?

"thank you," she whispers and presses her face deeper into the phone because she really wants a hug right now. "can you talk about something? Just about your day?"

When no reply comes, Enid accepts it. Wednesday was never the type to ramble on her day especially to a phone.

But then her voice trails through, soft and Wednesday. It's all Enid needed to allow herself to rest.

#wenclair #jdwicked #Spider Enid au #Writing #ITS AMAZING BUD TY!!!#angst

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animeniacss · 4 months

Text

So Close Yet So Far - Mingyu x Reader - Chapter 11 - What Happened Last Night...

Synopsis: Your college friend, Kim Mingyu, has had a grip on your heart since the first day you met. Over the past few years, as you acquired more friendships and memories, those feelings only grew. However, recently, Mingyu has seemed a bit more distant, at least when it comes to any ideas of romance. It only gets worse when rumors fly that he's off to Japan to receive a marriage proposal! Unsure what to do, you wonder how you can keep Mingyu by your side without jeopardizing your friendship or your growing feelings. You never expected that waking up one drunken morning next to two hot angels would be your ticket into Mingyu's heart.

Genre: Romance, College!AU, Friends to Lovers, Modern Fantasy, Comedy, Angsty

Length: approx. 5.9k words

Chapter 11 - What Happened Last Night

The entire kitchen onto the back patio was quiet, only able to share glances as they tried to make heads or tails of what was going on. You looked at Hoshi, who still seemed stunned to silence. Jihoon stepped closer, seemingly wanting to say more. However, Hoshi’s expression stopped him. Hoshi, unable to manage himself, simply pushed past Jihoon and headed up the stairs that led to the bedrooms. Jihoon looked in his direction, letting out a sigh.

“I expected that to happen.” He said softly. When he looked at you, he smiled. “Sorry.”

Before words escaped your mouth, two people were standing in front of you and Minnie. When you looked up, you saw Joshua and Jeonghan.

“What are you doinghere?” Joshua asked. You couldn’t see it from your spot, but a protective flare was burning in each of their eyes.

Jihoon smiled. “Nice to see you to, Hyung.” He smiled. “I was invited. That’s all.” Joshua and Jeonghan immediately turned to you, eyes wide in shock. It spooked you, and you stepped back.

“What?” you asked. You felt a hand on your back, and when you looked up, Mingyu was there.

“Where did you meet him?!” Jeonghan asked. You shrugged.

“I- I uhm.” Despite no reason to feel nervous, the almost angry expression they were giving you made you fall silent. “At the store when I got you snacks.” You finally managed to say. They looked back at Jihoon, who simply stood with his hands in his pockets, nodding his head to assure them your statement was correct. “What’s the problem?"

“The problem?!” Jeonghan sighed, shaking his head as he calmed his voice. “The problem is…”

“Hey.” A deep booming voice approached. You looked over, seeing that instead of Minnie, Mingyu was at your side. With the situation seemingly solved, the spooked persona he just had melted away so he could support you. He put a hand on your shoulder. “Don’t yell at her because you have beef with the guy…” The duo turned back to Jihoon, who stood unphased before them. Mingyu looked down at you. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay.” You assured. “I don’t know what’s going on….”

“Why don’t you go find Hoshi? We’ll settle all of this.” He assured, giving your shoulder a supportive squeeze. You nodded.

“We got him.” Jeonghan said. Before anyone could question the abrupt statement, Joshua and Jeonghan approached Jihoon. He looked a bit stunned as the duo looped their arms through his, much as they usually do with you, and led him out the front door. You blinked, watching as Jihoon didn’t even fight back, matching his pace with the other two as they disappeared from sight.

“Okay…” Mingyu said. After a moment of standing in the kitchen, he turned to the rest of the crew. “Let’s go eat for now…” he shuffled everyone back outside. “Let them figure it out.” As the group returned to the patio, he turned to the stairs you had just raced up.

You quickly hurried towards the stairs, looking around for Hoshi. It didn’t take long to find him, as he sat right on the top of the stairs, hands raking through his hair over and over again. It seemed he was trying very hard not to cry. You immediately hurried up to him, finding a spot on the step below him. He caught your gaze, and his attempt to wipe his eyes only increased. “Ugh, sorry.” He said.

“Don’t be sorry. What happened?” you asked gently. “Do you know him?” Hoshi nodded, looking over at you. It was very unusual to see such a bright energy so distressed.

“Yeah. Remember that guy Seungkwan keeps teasing me about?” It seemed a chuckle felt natural at this point as he covered his mouth with his hand. “Him.”

“Oh.” You recalled the multiple ‘Hoshi’s boyfriend’ comment he has made in the past. “Is that him?” Hoshi nodded, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. “I’m sorry, I-.”

“Don’t be sorry.” Hoshi said. “You didn’t know. When he and I stopped talking, I didn’t mention him anymore. You didn’t know who he was. It’s ok.” He chuckled a bit. “It’s just such a small world. I really was shocked when I saw him.”

“Heh. I said something similar when I first met him.” You commented. “He actually saw me at the café a few days before, after I met Mina. When I was sad, and tried to help me.”

“Really?” Hoshi seemed shocked. You only nodded.

“Want me to ask him to leave?”

“What?” Hoshi shook his head. “No. It’s your birthday, you should have who you want here.”

“But-.”

“It’s ok. I promise. I just didn’t expect to see him. It shocked me.” Hoshi nodded. “That’s all.” You watched Hoshi rise from his spot on the stairs, offering you a hand to help you up. You reached up, wiping the threat of his tears away as he laughed at you. “Oh jeez, I’m okay.” He shook his head. “I’m alright, promise. Let’s have a good time this weekend, yeah?”

“Yeah.” You sounded a bit unsure, patting his shoulder as the both of you headed down the stairs. He put his arm around you as well, seeming to need the comfort in the moment, which you had no problem providing.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

Meanwhile, Joshua and Jeonghan had managed to take Jihoon on the outside front porch, closing the door behind them. “Seriously, what are you doing here?” Joshua asked.

“I told you already. I got invited.” Jihoon said. “Does that shock you?”

“How did you just so happen to get invited to the party of the girl we’re in a contract with, Jihoon? It’s a bit suspicious.” Jihoon’s eyes widened, when a smirk formed on his face.

“You’re helping her? Oh man.” Jihoon laughed a bit. “I had no idea. Then again, I had no idea the ‘evil twins’ finally got their punishment. I don’t speak with any of our family much anymore.”

Joshua crossed his arms. “You can’t be here.” Jihoon laughed.

“What do you think I shake hands with the devil now?” He sneered. “I’m not going to do anything. She invited me. Why the hell would I want to interfere?” Joshua and Jeonghan looked at one another. “What? Oh. You think I want to watch you two end up like me? Stuck here?”

“That’s not going to happen.” Jeonghan said. Joshua pursed his lips together, forcing an agreed nod. Jihoon seemed to catch it, snickering to himself again.

“I’m not leaving.” He repeated simply, shrugging his shoulder. “Not unless she tells me to, anyway. So, are you going to be angelic and agree to a truce? A get-along period, if you will?” Again, Joshua and Jeonghan shared a glance with one another. “For her, if not for your brother.”

When neither of them responded, Jihoon simply nodded. The duo suddenly caught a look of hurt in their younger brother’s eyes as he diverted them to the sea. A quiet moment fell over the trio then, Joshua and Jeonghan sharing a side glance. Jihoon finally looked back at them, patting them both on the shoulders. “By the way, it was nice to see you.” He said, before making his way back inside the house, footsteps muffling the closer her got to the porch.

The duo shared a look of concern. “What should we do?” Joshua asked. Jeonghan shrugged.

“I never thought we’d run into him again. Much less, like this.” Jeonghan rubbed his hair, an exasperated sigh on his lips. “I thought this whole thing was supposed to be easy. I’m already exhausted from it.” Joshua patted his friend on the shoulder, the duo listening as everyone now rejoined on the balcony, the sound of Hoshi’s attempts to eagerly energize everyone again working as the group cheered at the sight of the food. The duo made their way inside, watching as Jihoon stood at the door to the patio, leaning against it with his arm crossed as he stared out at the rest of the crew. Joshua and Jeonghan stepped closer, Joshua putting a hand on Jihoon’s shoulder. He looked up at the taller duo.

“Just don’t start anything.” Jeonghan comment. Jihoon nodded his head, before being led by the duo to the food waiting on the table. Jihoon stood at your side, seeing you already making up a plate with sparkling eyes. Other than mutters about how delicious the food looked, silence lingered as everyone tried to figure out what to say. Hoshi took another drink from the cooler, popping it open and taking a sip. You sat beside him, plate in hand, as Jihoon plopped himself by the railing, resting his back against it with a few little scoops of the different options. Hoshi immediately avoided even staring his direction by looking at Seungkwan, the duo falling into a routine conversation.

You were sticking a bite of meat into your mouth when Mina sat beside you. You looked over, setting your chopsticks down. She seemed nervous.

“Are you okay?” she asked. The question confused you, and she seemed to be able to tell when she elaborated with: “That was a bit dramatic. You all looked so shaken up.” She motioned to Jihoon, who was resting against the balcony frame and eating quietly. “I’ve never seen Mingyu so scared.”

“Oh. It’s ok, I think. It seems they have a bit of history together. I didn’t know that.”

“Wow…” Mina said. “So, you inviting Jihoon seemed to stir up unwanted memories.” Guilt washed over you at her comment. She looked at Mingyu, who out of the kindness of his heart and the fact that he was hosting, approached Jihoon in an attempt to make some sort of conversation. He seemed a bit put off for a moment, but soon the duo fell into pretty simple first-time meeting conversation. “He’s so kind.” Mina smiled.

“Yeah.” You said gently, trying to brush off her last comment. “He is.”

“He’s been so excited to throw this party for you.” She said. “He’s worked hard for it.”

“I know. I’m grateful.” You assured. “Usually, we just all go out to eat, or spend the night at someone’s house. We drink and watch TV and play games until we all fall asleep. I appreciate those times, too…”

“I can imagine. I hope to be a part of those in the future.” You felt unsure about the context Mina was putting herself into these situations, but when she smiled at you, you had to smile back. “I heard he has a lot planned for you.”

“Yeah...”

“It must have been expensive for him to do.” Mina added.

“I…think he can afford it?” You cocked an eyebrow. Mina looked at you, nodding.

“He seems to think you deserve it.” She added, looking down at the food in her hands as she took another bite. You looked over to Joshua and Jeonghan, who were chatting amongst their food. Another moment of silence before Mina spoke again: “When we went to the café, did I say something to upset you?” In that moment, the entirety of that conversation came crashing into your heart like a tidal wave on the coast of the beach. You blinked, falling silent with no idea of how to respond to that. “I left in such a hurry but you looked so stunned. I only wanted to be honest. I’m so sorry if I upset you.”

“N-no.” was all you could sputter out. “It was just a shock, I guess.” You watched Mina smile a bit. Desperate to change the subject, you looked around: “Mingyu told me you had helped set some stuff up.”

“Yeah, but we were so busy all on the beach and unpacking and cooking yesterday time got away from us.” You nodded. “Seungkwan and Hoshi versed Mingyu and I in chicken. We totally beat them.” she laughed a bit. “So, we’re going to have everything ready for you when you wake up on your birthday.” Mina reached out, gently putting a hand on your arm. It seemed she had no intention of letting the original conversation end just yet. “I’m just glad to know that we’re on okay terms. I was worried but I didn’t know how to ask.” Mina slowly rose up. “I’m going to get a drink. Want anything?” When you motioned to the drink beside you, Mina nodded, before heading off to the cooler. Your eyes scanned the area as everyone continued simply eating and chatting amongst themselves. Joshua and Jeonghan were talking, constantly shooting looks at Jihoon as they seemingly discussed what to do. Minnie, Hoshi, and Seungkwan were all sitting together. With Mingyu trying to be a good host and talk to a hesitant Jihoon, that left you to simply people watch. As you continued eating and drinking, you hoped that within a few hours, drinks would help loosen people up and allow everyone to come together and start interacting again.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

“Dance, Kwannie! Dance, dance, dance!” Hoshi shouted in between claps. Loud music was blasting through the porch, alcohol and food loosening each person up just as you thought it would. You sat beside Mingyu, both of you clapping your hands and cheering him on as well. Seungkwan, cheeks red with a mixture of embarrassment and liquid courage, shuffled to the front of the group as one of his favorite songs began playing. He wasted no time breaking into the choreography, earning drunken laughter and cheers from the entire group. “Go, Kwannieeee!” Hoshi cheered.

You laughed, taking the last sip of your drink as you cheered your friend on. When you noticed you were finished, you looked over to the cooler that sat behind you. Just as you were about to get up, you felt a hand on your shoulder hold you down. Looking over, Mingyu offered you a smile before getting up. “I got it.” he said. He walked to the cooler, grabbing another drink and tossing it to you. He turned his attention to the rest of the crowd. “Who else before I sit down?”

“Me!” Minnie said, catching another.

“Me too!” Hoshi called with a grin. He caught his too.

“Me!” Seungkwan said, not once stopping his dance. When Mingyu mimicked the motion of throwing it, Seungkwan stumbled. “Woah, wait, wait!” he shouted. The panic in his voice made everyone laugh as Seungkwan hurried to Mingyu, taking the drink. Mingyu walked back over, sitting down on the log as Seungkwan pulled you and Minnie over front and center, you now being the one encouraged to bust a move to another song that began to play. Frantically, you tried to get out of it, pulling your arm back in drunken laughter as you were brought in front of everyone.

Mingyu looked at Joshua and Jeonghan, who were grinning and trying to encourage you to the front in order to complete the dance.

“No, no! Don’t encourage them!” You begged, the duo only laughing harder in their attempts to convince you. Mingyu smiled a bit, reaching back over to the cooler and grabbing two more drinks. He looked over to Joshua, who seemingly caught his attention as Jeonghan continued to get you up to dance, the song already starting.

“Want one?” he asked. Joshua shook his head.

“We don’t drink.” He said. Mingyu seemed shocked. “Thanks, though.”

“You don’t?” He asked. Joshua shook his head. “Wow. How come I never noticed?”

“We don’t go out drinking together.” He said simply. Mingyu nodded, setting the two drinks at his feet before reaching back into the cooler. He pulled out two sparkling waters, motioning them in his direction instead. Joshua looked up at Mingyu for a second, before taking them into his hands. “Thanks.” He said.

Jihoon walked over, catching both Mingyu and Joshua’s attention. “May I?” He asked. Mingyu quickly passed one of the beers to Jihoon, and with a quick thank you, he popped it open and took a long sip. Joshua’s eyes went wide as he turned his view from the black-haired individual. Mingyu, unphased, looked back over to you as you finally readied yourself to dance at the start of the second chorus. He smiled, clapping his hands.

“Let’s go!” He said in between laughs. You gave him a shy smile, stumbling as you tried again to steady yourself, the drinks seeming to hit you as well. Joshua handed one of the waters to Jeonghan, before shooting another quick glance to Mingyu as words he himself uttered in the recent few weeks played back in his mind.

I don’t even know what she sees in you.

Joshua put the drink to his lips immediately in an attempt to distract himself from that absolutely selfish thought. As the second chorus erupted out of the speakers, you, Seungkwan and Minnie broke into the most unsynchronized dance moves seem thus far, and again, the entire porch erupted into laughter. Hoshi leaned forward, holding his stomach as he cackled in glee. Jeonghan covered his mouth in amused laughter, and Mina did something similar, turning her head a bit to try and collect herself. Mingyu continued clapping his hands in between laughter. “YEAAAA! GO, GO, GO!” He continued to cheer. When he started belting the lyrics, both you and Minnie fell to the floor, unable to contain your laughter.

“Stop singing, oh God!” you laughed, before quickly coughing for a second to catch your breath. Joshua laughed a bit to himself as well, setting the water on his lap and watching as the both of you tried to stand up and rejoin Seungkwan, who was drunkenly yelling.

“Are you serious!? We practiced!”

“No, we fucking didn’t!” Minnie said, holding your arm to contain her laughter.

“Yes, we did! Taste that PINK VENOM! Taste that PINK VENOM!” Seungkwan shouted, only allowing the two of you to start laughing harder. “I can’t believe I’m left ALONE!” Beyond the laughter, you looked to your small yet very enthused audience. Your eye fell to Mina, who had her phone scanning the rest of the crowd, including you. It seemed she was watching the entire event from her camera. Immediately, you called her name.

“Mina.” Her eyes snapped up, flustered as if she was caught doing something naughty. You smiled, offering a peace sign in her direction. “At least get my good side, please.” Her nervous frown tilted up a bit, nodding as she angled her camera. Seungkwan pushed through, offering to guide the both of you through the rest of the song as you continued to laugh uncontrollably.

As the song came to an end, you plopped yourself down in between Joshua and Mingyu, taking a second to catch your breath. Joshua gripped his water, his instinct saying to pass it over. However, he stopped himself when Mingyu handed you one first, earning a quick thank you as you took a sip of it. Joshua smiled a bit. That smile quickly ended, however, when you turned to him.

“Your turn.” You beamed. Joshua’s confused gaze was matched by Jeonghan’s, but you only smiled more, repeating: “You’re turn.”

“…What?” They asked.

Not wanting to go for third time being the charm, you simply motioned to the make-shift stage in front of them. “I had to do it. Now let’s see what you got.” The entire group start cheering their names, some of it being slurred together amongst one another the more they drank. Joshua and Jeonghan shared a glance.

“No.” they said. A pout which seemed to only alter Joshua’s expression formed on your face.

“Please.” You said. You took another sip of your drink, stumbling behind them. With a gentle – at least you thought it was – push up to the front, the both of them looked around at their small, and very drunk audience. “It’ll be fun!”

“Go Shua-Hyung! Go Jeonghan-Hyung!” Hoshi cheered. Seungkwan immediately began the chant, and Mingyu was not far behind. The both of them looked at Jihoon, who had an amused grin on his face as he motioned to them to start.

“Can we play a ballad at least?” Joshua asked. Minnie snorted. “I think we’re more vocally suited to a-.”

“Are you fucking kidding?” She asked. “No way. Play something that has a lot of ass-shaking.”

“WHAT?!” Both angels shouted among the sound of cackling hyenas around them.

“Play something everyone knows. You two should know some popular music, right?” You said. Grabbing Seungkwan’s phone, the one who controlled the music, you skimmed through the options until you finally landed on a pretty well-known pop song. As it began playing, Mingyu scoffed.

“Seungkwan do you only have girl groups on your playlist?”

“AND WHAT IF I DO?!” Seungkwan laughed as he got out of his seat, playfully waving a threatening fist. Mingyu laughed more, amused by Seungkwan’s drunken attempts to be threatening, before everyone turned to the duo. Hoshi sat Seungkwan back down, a deep belly laugh behind the rim of his half-empty bottle. Joshua and Jeonghan looked at one another, Jeonghan shrugging.

“Come on. You guys did so good at karaoke last time!” Minnie called. Jihoon’s eyebrows raised in surprise at the comment.

“Karaoke?” He called.

“Don’t ask.” Jeonghan begged, but Jihoon only laughed. Finally, the chorus dropped, and Joshua once again completely straight face, began busting a very dramatic move that in no way matched to the beat of the song. Jeonghan tried to copy his movements, though with not nearly enough gusto, and he immediately turned his head, covering his mouth at his friend’s antics. The entire porch once again roared in laughter at the sight before them. Jihoon clapped his hands, amused at the sight before him.

You immediately turned to Jihoon, grinning. “You’re next, Jihoon!” you said.

Jihoon caught sight of Hoshi looking in his direction as you called out to him. He scoffed, shaking his head.

“No thanks.” he said. However, he had no intention of giving in to your pout. It did not faze him in the slightest. It was the grin in his peripheral that he couldn’t bear to look at.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

The sun was long asleep, the moon taking its place for hours when you all finally decided it was time to go to sleep yourselves. As everyone made their way inside, their bellies full and their heads swimming, you rested back on the couch outside, looking up at the night sky. The stars were splattered paint drops across the sky, your eyes trying to find the different constellations that were painted because of their perfect placement. It was hard when you were still pretty drunk, and starting to fall asleep. The sound of your name caused you to tilt your head, seeing a blurry figure beside you. It was Josuha, smiling in amusement.

“You’re not sleeping out here, are you?”

“Mmm, no I don’t think so.” you said, rubbing your eyes. “I’m hoping to sober up before going to bed.”

“Ah.” Joshua sat down beside you. “I’ll wait with you then.”

Your eyes were already closing as sleep threatened you. “Okay.” You looked back up at the sky, letting out a deep sigh.

Joshua leaned forward, poking you in the cheek like the button on the back of a toy, the sound being a string of gargled giggles. It made Joshua smile. “Are you still drunk?”

Another giggle alerted Joshua to the answer. Maybe it was also the half-closed eyes as you spoke to the blurry figure beside you. Joshua figured he had to keep talking to keep you awake. “I had fun today.” Joshua said. You nodded; eyes half-lidded. “We keep each other entertained back home in similar ways. I think Jeonghan and I overdid it too much though. Hence why we’re here…” When he did not get a response, he looked over to you again. Immediately he saw your eyes closed as you rested your head in your hand. Joshua watched patiently as your chest rose and fell with every gentle breath you took. He reached forward, steadying you just when your body squirmed a bit in its spot. Brushing some hair behind your ear, he sat his back against the couch again. The nighttime sounds of leaves rustling in the summer breeze seemed to match in harmony with your soft, slightly staggered breathing after a while. Joshua continued to study your sleeping form, your hair strands almost getting whisked away in the breeze but you were to drunk and asleep to care. “You really are causing me a lot of trouble, hm?” he mumbled to himself, turning his body to face you completely. “I didn’t expect this…”

A sudden groan from your throat made Joshua’s blood run cold, eyes wide. Like a deer in headlights, he waited still as a few more gurgles rumbled through your mouth. It was as if your body was deciding if it wanted to wake up right now. Deciding it should, your eyes fluttered open, tucked away behind heavy eyelids and thick lashes. You still looked drunk, despite your small nap. “Hey.” He said softly, reaching out to put a hand on your arm. “We should get you to sleep…”

“Mhm…” you mumbled. You saw the figure before you rise from his seat, and your breath caught in your throat, his touch on your arm slowly slipping away. “Wait.” he stopped when you reached out, entangling his fingers in yours. Despite still feeling tipsy, you managed to slur out: “Will you forget about me when you leave?” Joshua looked in your direction, confused. Your eyes were shaky, but they stared directly at Joshua with each word that left your lips.

“Huh?” he managed to choke out, though it was forced.

“You do so much for me all the time. What will I do when you leave?”

A soft smile. “I’m sure you’ll be just fine.” Joshua assured. “The point is for me to leave.”

Your brows furrowed. “Point? No. The point is to stay here with me. That’s what I want…I won’t ever see you again if you leave. Promise you won’t….”

Joshua smiled, sitting back at your side. He could feel the warmth of your fingers intertwined with his like a little spider’s web, leaving him trapped at your side for the time being. “If you keep talking like that, you’re going to make me not want to leave.” The minute that left his mouth, he bit his tongue, mentally cursing himself. You looked over at him, a lopsided smile forming on your face.

“You won’t leave?” You asked. Joshua blinked. He was confused by the entire situation, quiet until he figured out the right thing to say. Your eyes were still slightly half-lidded as you tried your best to turn your entire body towards him. When your body swayed like it was on a boat, Joshua reached out and grabbed your shoulders, steadying you. He blinked, watching as your head lolled around for a second before finally looking up in his direction. Despite having those glossy eyes filled with tired drunkenness, he couldn’t help but feel a bit overwhelmed.

Come back to us. He heard Seungcheol’s voice in the back of his head.

If Hyung says he won’t do anything, then he won’t. Seokmin’s eager optimism pierced his ears like daggers.

“We should get you to bed.” He sputtered quickly, reverting back to his original statement. You nodded, taking hold of his arms gently. Joshua fought his feelings of embarrassment as he helped you stand up. You walked up to him and wrapped your arms around his torso. “Eh, uh. Wait a minute. What are you-?”

“When are you going to finally tell me you love me?”

Joshua’s eyes widened. “Wha-?”

“Because I totally feel the same.” You jerked your neck up towards Joshua, a drunken grin still on your face. The both of you stood in silence for what felt like eons. Joshua stammered for something to say, his cheeks flushing a dark red he had no idea he could even experience. Your hands reached from their spot on his back, pressing his cheeks together like playdoh and causing his lips to pucker out just a bit. “Totally.”

The two of you stood there for another silent minute. Joshua eyed you, wondering if you could feel how hot his cheeks were getting with your hands stuck to him like glue. When the door behind them opened, Joshua sighed in relief. An angel had come to save him.

Well, an angel came, but when Joshua saw Jeonghan walk to his side, his expression showed he was probably in more danger now that he was a few seconds ago. His friend didn’t even look at him beyond a very disapproving look, before reaching out and gently taking you into his arms.

“Let’s get you to bed.” Jeonghan cooed softly. You groaned in annoyance as Jeonghan took you from Joshua’s grasp. Jeonghan rubbed your arm. “You’re going to end up with the worst hangover. I have water for you.”

“Alright, fine.” You said, taking the bottle that was offered to you. You looked over at Joshua once more, smiling. “Night, Mingyu. I had fun today.” You said. Joshua blinked.

“What?” Joshua looked at you as you were led inside the house by Jeonghan, who made sure to tell you that was not in fact Mingyu, but Joshua. As Joshua walked towards the door, he heard you gasp in shock.

“Oh. I think I just confessed my love to him then.” Joshua heard Jeonghan laugh a bit, the nervousness in his voice obvious.

“That’s great practice for the real thing, then.” He assured, before the both of you disappeared up the stairs. Joshua closed the screen door, a very labored and stressed breath escaping his lips. He ran his hand in his hair, tangling it in the strands as he paced the kitchen. Just then, he heard a voice from the large kitchen table.

“That was almost romantic.” When he looked over, he saw Jihoon stand up from the table, crossing his arms. “If it wasn’t the most stupid fucking thing I have ever seen.”

Joshua scoffed, shaking his head. “Mind your business, please.” He demanded.

“Then don’t have your little love confession on a balcony in front of a window, dummy.” He sneered. Joshua groaned, leaving the conversation before it continue as he walked away. Jihoon crossed his arms, shaking his head. “Idiot…”

Jeonghan helped you into your bed, pulling the comforter to allow you room to crawl inside. As you nestled into the sheets, feeling the comforter overtake you, you looked at him. You were still half-awake, rubbing your eyes. “Did I just tell Joshua I loved him for real?”

Jeonghan looked at you. “Maybe.” He said softly. “Don’t worry about it, okay? He knows you meant it for Mingyu.”

“Okay. I wouldn’t want to make him upset with me.” You said. Jeonghan smiled softly, lying you down and covering you.

"He’s not.”

“Okay. Thanks for being so good to me.” You hummed, nestling into your pillow.

“Of course.” He said. “Now, get some sleep. Snap if you need anything.”

“How do I do that, again?” you asked, setting your hand beside your head and pressing your thumb and index finger together. Jeonghan laughed a bit, taking your hand and setting it back under the blanket. Your eyes fluttered closed after a few moments, and Jeonghan quietly tiptoed out, closing your door just enough not to disturb you. Once alone, a groan of annoyance slipped passed his lips.

“Perfect. This is perfect.” As if on cue, Joshua headed up the steps, the duo looking at one another in silence. Jeonghan sighed. “Jisoo-.”

“Don’t start. I didn’t say anything.” He said. “She thought I was Mingyu.”

“You’re lucky.” A pause, before Jeonghan finally asked. “When did this whole thing start?”

Joshua went silent for a moment. His mind fell back to everything about you. The stunned expression you gave him bundled in your covers when you both first met, the way you smiled when he offered you banana milk. The way you listened behind drying tears as he comforted you with stories of America. The way you curled into his chest as you sobbed in the cafe, as if only he could be the one to squeeze the worries out of you completely. But, though he wasn’t, the feelings never left. “I really don’t know how this happened.” he said softly.

Sensing Joshua’s sincerity, Jeonghan’s furrowed brows softened. “Well. You got lucky. Anyways, I’m going to bed. Babysitting a handful of drunk college students feels like I’ve been sent to the first layer of hell.” Joshua forced a laugh as the both of them headed to their room, hoping to put the entire night behind them.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

The next morning, Hoshi staggered out of bed. His head was pounding a bit, and he groaned Morning was just trickling in behind the pulled curtains, only beginning to worsen his headache. “Ugh. Coffee.” He grumbled to himself as he headed down the stairs. It seemed most of the house was still asleep, the sound of deep snores emanating from each room he passed by. Only the sound of his footsteps was enough to overpower that noise, as he made no attempt to quiet them. As Hoshi turned into the kitchen, however, coffee immediately filled his nose. A sigh of relief escaped his lips, before he looked ahead to see Woozi standing at the oven. It seemed he was flipping some pancakes, unaware that anyone was entering until he heard footsteps. When he looked over, Woozi blinked. His hair was tugged up into a little mini bun.

“Good morning.” He said.

Hoshi offered a hesitant “…Morning.” He walked into the kitchen, turning to the fridge and quickly opening it. He crouched down, scanning the contents. The cold air from the fridge blew on his face, but despite it, he refused to close the door. Woozi was behind it, and he didn’t want to look at him right now. Footsteps were heard, but Hoshi refused to close the door. When he heard a cough, he turned his head, and Woozi was standing right there.

“Can I get the milk? Coffee is almost done.” Hoshi grabbed the handle, handing it to him with a brief ‘thank you’. Woozi simply walked back to the pot, setting the milk down beside it. “Hungry? These are almost done and I don’t know if anyone else if going to wake up in this century.”

“No, I’m okay.” Hoshi said softly, finally standing up and closing the fridge door. Woozi chewed on his lower lip, nodding his head. “I’m going to sit outside.” Without another word, Hoshi made his way to the balcony. Woozi stared at the pancakes sizzling under him for a second, listening as the footsteps behind him staggered towards the back door. When he looked over again, he finally spoke up.

“Hoshi.” Hoshi stopped, gripping the wall. He looked over his shoulder at the black-haired man in the kitchen. After a moment of trying to find the right words to say, Woozi sighed. “I’m sorry.” Was all he could force out.

Hoshi’s eyes seemed to squint a bit, as if he was going to hold back tears. He didn’t reply right away, he didn’t smile. Woozi, in that moment, wanted to curl up and die. He wished he was dragged to hell on that fateful day, it would have been a more merciful end to him than being left to wonder the same earth as him.

Hoshi opened the door and stepped out, only muttering a distant: “Okay.”

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naughtyneganjdm · 1 year

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Mine - Chapter 9

Summary: When things start feeling like they are going back to the way they were before, Y/N feels conflicted in her thoughts about both Joel and Negan.

Characters: Joel Miller, Negan, the reader (OC, third person), Tommy Miller, Ellie, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45115177/chapters/115659571

Warnings: Swearing, super angst, smut, depression, etc.

Notes: This is a long chapter, but a lot of stuff happens. I can't promise you that it will make everyone happy and I apologize for that, but this is very angsty. Thanks for reading to those that do! Gif Credits: @joelmjller & @jdmorganz

Over the last few days, Y/N did her best to erase the memory she shared with Negan from her mind. It was something that happened in a moment of weakness and she didn’t want to go back to that knowing that both Joel and Negan meant so much to her. So instead, she pretended like everything was the way it was before her birthday. She had feelings for Negan, but she pushed them down and away. After Joel had opened up to her on a personal level, she saw that as a step in the right direction. It meant he was willing to open up to her and that was something that took a lot out of him. It was him breaking down his protective wall piece by piece and she was hoping that meant their relationship would progress more between the two of them.

Since they shared the night by the water together, Joel really hadn’t opened up to her much more. That night had likely taken a lot out of him and she understood that. It was going to take time and she was going to do her best to give it to him.

One thing that did surprise her was the lack of conversation about her ‘special day’ that Joel had insisted on having for her after her birthday fell to shit. It was something that he really stressed originally, even to the point of her actually switching patrol with someone. Maybe after the night they shared by the water, he thought he made up for everything and he didn’t have something actually planned for her. Regardless, she was doing her best to keep her head up and not try to hold too much against Joel.

It was Friday and without Joel really talking things out, she just assumed he was really going all in with this surprise that he was setting up for her or he just had forgotten. With Joel working as hard as he was at the powerplant, she decided to make him a nice lunch to bring him while he was at work. On her walk there she had realized that she hadn’t been there since the accident happened. It would be interesting to see how things were now with Joel working as hard as he had been.

When she entered the powerplant, she was surprised to see all the construction that was being done to it. It was like they were updating things in general after the accident happened. It took a while for her to walk around and it felt like people barely noticed her or even acknowledged her. They had definitely gotten more people working there to fix things compared to when her job was permanently there and it was hard finding Joel.

That was until the familiar laughter boomed through the air catching her attention. Looking up toward the second floor, she saw a group of people on the second story platform that had been surprisingly fixed already. Tipping her head to the side, she knew that the laughter belonged to Negan. Searching him out, she saw that Negan was talking with Joel, Tommy and a few others. All of them were laughing about something and she felt her throat tensing up. Negan’s arm was hooked around Joel’s shoulder while they stood next to one another and Joel seemed completely relaxed with Negan touching him the way he was while they talked with the group of people that were with them.

Heading for the stairs, she felt strange feeling a sense of jealousy over the fact that Joel seemed so relaxed with Negan in comparison to how he used to be with her. Joel would have cringed over her hanging all over him in the past, yet there Negan was hanging out with everyone and Joel didn’t seem to mind that Negan was clinging onto him like that.

Shaking it off, Y/N knew it was a ridiculous thought to begin with and approached the group. It absolutely shocked her when she heard Negan crack a joke that made Joel burst out in laughter. His laugh was loud and he was so entertained that it made her stop in her tracks. Never in her time in being with Joel had she ever heard him laugh like that. Even the smile he had on his face afterwards took her breath away. Joel reached up to wipe at his eyes from how hard he was laughing. Why the hell was she getting so upset about this whole thing?

The sound of her moving must have drawn Tommy’s attention because he was the first to notice her and he gave her a big smile, “Hey there sister-in-law.”

“Shut up Tommy,” Joel slurred smacking his brother upside the head in a playful whack making her throat go dry. “Don’t say shit like that.”

“She might as well be my sister-in-law,” Tommy waved his hand in the air dismissively prior to throwing his arms out to Y/N to offer her a big hug. Accepting his gesture, she hugged Joel’s younger brother thinking about how Joel’s immediate response was to smack his brother at the idea of her being married to him. That was something she knew would never happen considering how Joel couldn’t even bring himself to tell her that he loved her. “It’s so good to see you. What are you doing here?”

“I brought lunch for Joel,” she answered and the group of men that were around them made a mocking awe sound that made Joel’s face flush over with red. Negan teasingly brushed his fingers through Joel’s hair messing it up before shoving Joel playfully over toward Y/N. “What are you doing here Negan?”

“My shifts are a little all over the place at the dining hall. I had breakfast shift this morning and I’m doing dinner tonight,” Negan answered her with a wink giving her a big smile. “I decided to come in and visit the people here while I had some free time.”

With a nod, she knew that everyone loved Negan so that made sense as to why everyone was surrounding him. When she showed up there, she completely went under the radar. No one cared. It was hard not to be jealous of how easily people flocked to Negan. Yes, he was the hero in their accident, but no one really ever cared if she was okay or not. It reminded her of how Negan complained about people and their fucked up ideologies. Everyone came to give him gifts for saving her, but no one came to see how she was. It really made her think that people cared about Negan and Negan hurting himself. That they only cared if he would have gotten hurt or not. No one cared what happened to her or that she almost died. When she showed up at the powerplant today, she realized that she wasn’t missed at all. These people didn’t care about her.

“You didn’t have to do this,” Joel looked to her hand to see that she had packed an actual lunch inside of a bag for him. “You know that I could have just grabbed something quick here Y/N. It was no big deal for me.”

“You really didn’t have much to eat this morning, so I wanted to make sure you had enough in you,” Y/N tipped up on her toes to kiss Joel and she felt her heart sink when he turned just enough for her to kiss him on the cheek. She thought they were over this whole not wanting to show affection thing in front of other people. Yeah, there were a few people from town in the group they were talking in, but Negan and Tommy were there. Everyone knew that they were together. There was no question that other people would have noticed him denying her that kiss and it made her feel pathetic.

When she pulled back, she felt a lump developing in her throat. The way that Negan’s eyes were staring out at her, he had picked up on what happened. Negan nudged Joel who looked to him with a shrug of his shoulders and Negan shook his head, “What?”

“Here, I don’t want to interrupt all of you. It sounds like you were all having a good time together before I showed up,” she pulled the bag off her shoulder to hand it over to Joel who looked it over before accepting it. “It was nice seeing everyone again.”

“Why don’t you stay for a few minutes? I’ll walk back with you when you leave,” Negan proposed making her shake her head. The people here didn’t want him to leave and she was just making everything feel awkward. The energy in the group changed as soon as she showed up. “No, hey, it’s completely fine. I’m sure people miss seeing you around here too. It wouldn’t hurt having you stick around.”

“I for one miss seeing you every day,” Tommy’s arm hooked around Y/N’s shoulder giving her a squeeze that pulled her in closer to him. At least Tommy tried to make her feel welcomed. “You are so much smarter than the people we have working here.”

“Hey, I take offense to that,” one of the workers exclaimed with a wink at Y/N making Tommy’s snicker. When she showed up, Joel had suddenly gotten very serious and the relaxed man that she had seen from afar seemed uncomfortable to have her there. His head was lowered, his jaw flexing when he pushed his right hand into his pocket while his left arm remained hooked around the lunch bag she brought for him. “No, we do miss you here. You were the most adult person we had here taking care of things. You leveled us all out.”

“Thanks,” she knew that they had all just been persuaded to say that because Negan said something. “I really should get going though. I have…things to do.”

After the accident, Joel made it clear that he never wanted her working at the powerplant again. It left her doing odds and ends around Jackson. It really didn’t feel like she had a place where she belonged. With Negan, Maria was sure to place him in jobs that he actually liked and appealed to him. There was nowhere she really fit in. The one job she actually enjoyed was working with Negan at the library. Part of her wished they would just let her work at the dining hall with him too. Negan was really the only place where she felt like she belonged in this town. Negan didn’t work here either anymore and that was a gift from Maria, but honestly sometimes she missed it because she used to be able to be with Negan five to six days out of the week. And she was always around Joel even if he rarely acknowledged that they were together in front of others when they worked together at the powerplant. Things were so much lonelier even though she understood that Joel was trying to keep her safe.

“I’ll see you tonight,” she whispered to Joel and she gave Tommy one quick hug goodbye. The group was hassling Joel and she could hear it as she started to walk away.

“Hey,” Joel called out to her swiftly moving across the second story platform to meet her at the top of the stairs. Joel turned away from the group and his eyebrows furrowed. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine,” she muttered, her eyes searching his. The only thing she could imagine is that Joel ran off to make sure she was okay because Negan had pushed him to do so. It wouldn’t be the first time that Joel did something after Negan told him to. “I just wanted to see you.”

“Today?” Joel’s right eyebrow arched in curiosity making her feel anxious having him asking her like that. “I mean, you pick today to come down here. Why?”

“I have to have a reason? I was lonely,” she tipped her head to the side seeing his chocolate brown eyes gazing over her fiercely. “Did I do something?”

“No?” Joel seemed confused and she didn’t exactly know how to respond to him.

“Why are you acting weird?” she questioned seeing the way he shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. “I feel like I’m bothering you by being here right now.”

“You’re not,” Joel answered with a shake of his head, a weak smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I am always happy seeing you.”

“You don’t seem it,” she breathed out in a quiet exhale, her eyes looking down at her feet and she shrugged her shoulders. “It was stupid for me to come here. I can just take the lunch back if you want. I’m sorry for embarrassing you.”

“Whoa, hold on,” Joel shook his head, his hand reaching out to curl his fingers in underneath her jaw to get her to look up at him. “I’m not embarrassed. Why would I be embarrassed? I’m with the most beautiful woman in the town. If anything, everyone should be jealous. You don’t see their significant others coming up here with lunches for them, do you?”

It drew a small smile from her lips making Joel nod his head slowly, “I’m just quiet in public. You know that. I don’t like gatherings and I get weird in them. It’s not you. I promise you that.”

“Sure,” she nodded knowing that she didn’t exactly believe that considering he was all laughter before she showed up and he knew that she was there. Joel reached out to give her a one-armed hug that felt more like something a friend would do in saying goodbye instead of someone you had been with for over a year. “I guess I’ll see you at home tonight.”

Joel winked at her and headed back to be with the group that he was with originally. Standing there for a moment longer, she watched Joel’s posture completely change when he moved between Negan and Tommy again. Maybe he didn’t pick up on it, but it was obvious and it was there. The walk back home made her wonder if she made a mistake even going there.

Maybe it was her self-esteem kicking her ass lately, but she didn’t feel good about things. The people here didn’t make her feel good or seen. Joel was really good in certain situations, but the one they were just in made her feel like he was old Joel again and not the one that had completely opened up to her the other night.

When she got home, she felt incredibly alone to the point she considered seeing if she could find Maria to see if she needed help with anything. But she knew Maria had better things to do. While Y/N was close enough to Tommy and Maria, at the end of the day Y/N was just the woman that Tommy’s brother was with. Nothing more. The two of them would have had nothing to do with her if she wasn’t with Joel.

So, she sat to herself until Ellie got back from school. Ellie was the one thing that kept her grounded. There was no question Y/N was depressed with how unimportant she actually felt to the world around her. It was doing a number to her self-esteem that sucked already, but Ellie helped. With Ellie’s positivity, Ellie was the one person that could pull her out of things other than Joel or Negan. After school Ellie was hungry, so they made something quick to eat together before she went out in the back with Ellie to her apartment area. Ellie convinced her to play a video game with her and Y/N was eager to do it.

It surprised Y/N because she was there for hours. Many hours and Joel hadn’t come in search of her or anything. Ellie had been falling asleep and they could only have so much of a girl’s night before Ellie finally passed out. Ellie had insisted that she could stay awake, but Y/N told her that it was okay and she headed back into the house. Things were quiet and she only assumed that meant that it was a really busy day at work for Joel.

Heading up the stairs, she let out a shocked sound when she opened the door and saw that Joel was already in bed sleeping. Clearing her throat uneasily, she stood at the door of the bedroom and wondered how long he had been there. Part of her thought he would have come to find her when he got home from work, but it looked like he had been home for a while.

“He’s just tired,” she whispered to herself wondering if she had done something to make him cold toward her again. This was something that the old Joel would have done. What had caused him to revert like this? In her mind she was just hoping so much that it was just a one-day thing and it wasn’t much more than that.

So after she got dressed for the night, she crawled into bed with him and noticed the distance between the two of them. Sliding across the bed, she hooked her arm loosely around Joel’s waist and pressed her forehead against the broadness of his back. With the sound of his breathing, she knew that he had woken up enough to know that she was finally in bed with him, but he just got comfortable again and went back to sleep.

Today was just overly emotional and she knew that she needed to knock that shit off. It was for the best that way. She was probably just thinking to deeply into things and needed to get over herself. Cuddling in closer to Joel, she knew that she wouldn’t be able to sleep unless she had the warmth of him close to her.

It took quite a while for her to fall asleep and in the morning, she was awakened by the feeling of the bed shaking when Joel had obviously woken up. With a tired sound, she turned over onto the bed and noticed that Joel had grabbed a bag that he was packing. It made her smile realizing that it was Saturday and maybe this was him starting the day off like he promised her.

“Are we going somewhere?” she yawned, rubbing at her tired eyes when she lifted up on her elbows to stare out at Joel with a small smile. It was sad to admit, but she was actually excited at the idea of them potentially going on a journey together since they never really left Jackson.

“Uh no,” Joel stood straight, his jaw tensing when he cleared his throat and rest his hands at his hips. “Tommy needed to go on a run today and he asked me to go with him. I should be back by tomorrow. It’s just going to be a quick day run.”

“You’re…you…” she felt her heart sink when he brushed his fingers through his graying hair and started to pack a few more things in the bag that was at the bottom of the bed. “Joel, it’s Saturday.”

“Yeah?” Joel’s eyebrow arched up almost like he was confused when he lifted his head to stare out at her with his dark eyes. “And tomorrow is Sunday.”

“Joel,” she let his name linger on her lips when she pulled her blanket in closer to her body. He forgot again. With a shake of her head, she sighed and lowered her head to stare down at her lap and she nodded. “Okay.”

“What is it?” Joel sat down on the edge of the bed obviously picking up on her disappointment that she had flooding through her body.

“You can’t have someone else go with him?” she confirmed, lifting her head up to stare out at Joel with sadness in her eyes. More than anything, she wanted to believe Joel when he told her he would be giving her something special today, but once again she was just being let down in the end. “We can’t spend Saturday together?”

“We spend every day together,” Joel pointed out with a faint smirk making her drop her head again, her chest aching with how he wasn’t picking up on things. Reaching out, he placed his hand in over her leg and shook her. “I’ll be home tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow you have to work,” she reminded him seeing the way his eyebrows furrowed. Searching for some kind of way to make herself feel better, she tossed her hands up and flashed a fake smile. “Maybe I can come with the two of you? We can have a big family adventure?”

“Come on,” Joel snorted with a shake of his head, reaching out to palm in over the side of her face. “I’d feel much better knowing that you and Ellie were safe here.”

Deep inside of herself, she wanted to yell at him. She wanted to lecture him for not remembering his promise about today. Yet, she just knew it would make her the bad guy in the situation and she knew she didn’t really deserve a special day in the first place. In this world, there was no need to look forward to birthdays and she was really just expecting too much from Joel, “Forget it, Joel. Just please, be careful.”

“Are you okay?” Joel inquired when she lowered back down in the bed and laid down knowing that there was no point in even moving for the day. “Y/N?”

Part of her wanted to tell him what he was doing. That today was the day he promised to make special for her, but instead she just kept silent. There was no point in bringing up something that he didn’t even plan or care about. Maybe she was expecting too much from him and he already thought he made up for himself that night by the water.

“I’m just not feeling very well, so I’m going to lay here for a little while,” she pulled the sheets up and over her body, cuddling in closer to the pillow again hating that she felt so bad about this whole thing. There was a lump at the center of her throat and her body felt like it was on fire while Joel got himself dressed for the day. Why was she so damn hurt over this whole thing?

Joel dropped his bag by the door and looked back over his shoulder at her. Trying to hide her face from him, she heard him sigh loudly and turn back toward her. Joel crawled in over the bed and tugged faintly on the covers. Leaning down, he pressed a kiss over her temple and stroked his fingers through her hair, “I’ll be back soon. Okay?”

“Yeah,” she nodded her head hating that she was getting emotional over this whole thing. When Joel grabbed his things and left the bedroom she almost wished she was dreaming still and this was something her brain conjured up during the night since her self-esteem had been so low. Or maybe it was a joke he was pulling on her because he knew that this Saturday had meant so much to her based off what he had said.

When she heard the front door open and close, she felt her throat getting tense. God, she told herself not to get her hopes up, but she did. For a while she just laid there. Hell, she didn’t sleep often so maybe it was for the best if she did just sleep. But she couldn’t.

Getting up, she didn’t even bother getting dressed when she headed over to Ellie’s. She was hoping that she would be able to just spend time with Ellie and get over herself, but Ellie’s place was empty too making her realize that she was completely alone to herself.

It took a while for her to gather her thoughts before she headed inside and grabbed a jacket. Absolutely lost in her own mind, she left the house and headed for the dining hall knowing that Negan was working a shift there today. When she entered the building, she got some weird stares. Yeah, she was still wearing her pajamas, but she didn’t care if people were judging her right now.

Heading into the back, she knew that she wasn’t interested in food right now, she just had one person she wanted to see and it was Negan. When she saw him checking on something he baked, she reached over to place her hand over his shoulder surprising him when he saw her.

“Can we talk?” she pled of him, her eyes damp while Negan looked her over. “Please.”

“Hey, can you finish this up for me?” Negan asked of the woman that he was working with allowing Y/N to grab a hold of his hand to pull him out of the kitchen toward the outside. She went to the back of the building knowing they were less likely to run into people there. There was a picnic table for those that wanted to go outside and she headed over to it to take a seat on the table part while bracing her feet on the bench. “What are you doing here? I thought you would be doing something with Joel since today is your redo birthday.”

“He forgot again,” she responded making Negan’s head tip to the side, his eyes narrowing out at her when she was on the verge of having an absolute breakdown without meaning to. Damn it, there was that single tear burning at the side of her face. “I woke up this morning to him packing and he’s going on a run with Tommy today where he will be back tomorrow. He had no idea what today even was.”

“Y/N…” Negan’s arms lowered at his sides and she could see that in his mind that he was trying to come up with something to say, but he was at a loss. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what is going through his mind right now, but he really has to be overwhelmed if he forgot again.”

“What is it about me Negan?” she wondered looking for an answer making his eyes narrow when he tried to think about what she was asking him. “Why am I not good enough for him?”

“Who says you’re not?” Negan blurt out, his eyebrows furrowing when he heard her start to break down and he stepped forward unsure of what to say or do. “Y/N?”

“Every step forward we take, Joel just takes five more back. I thought he was changing and in the last twenty-four hours he has been more like the old Joel,” she informed Negan with a whimpering sound feeling his arms wrapping around her in attempts to comfort her while she was crying. “I know I shouldn’t care and get my hopes up, but I have. I should just tell myself that he is who he is and I shouldn’t expect anything from him.”

“Y/N,” Negan lowered his head to nuzzle his nose against the top of her head, trying to hush her into calming down. “Joel cares very much about you. It’s nothing to do with you, I promise you that.”

“No one likes me here. I have Ellie and I have Joel, but no one could fucking care if I was here. I just exist. And the person I’m with…I don’t know anymore,” she confessed making Negan’s chest ache hearing her having a meltdown before him. “I try to be friendly. I try to get along with everyone. I just don’t fit in anywhere. And with me, he acts completely different than he does when he’s around other people. I have tried so hard with him and it just…it gets me nowhere.”

“People are self-centered Y/N. You shouldn’t care what other people think about you,” Negan declared with a firm shake of his head. “People treated me like shit for as long as I could remember.”

“Everyone loves you here,” Y/N rolled her eyes, pulling back enough to stare Negan over. “And Joel, he is so comfortable with you. With me, he doesn’t let me touch him in public. With you, he laughs. I’ve never heard him laugh like that around me. I’ve never made him smile the way that you have.”

“This sounds so eerily familiar,” Negan confessed, his hands finding their way to his hips when he thought about Joel saying something very much the same to him. “I think both you and Joel are a little lost inside of yourselves and you don’t realize that the both of you feel the same way. There is nothing I’m doing. Joel cares more for you than you could ever imagine. You and Ellie are everything to him.”

“It doesn’t feel that way Negan,” she reasoned with her best friend knowing that he loved Joel too so he was going to say whatever it took to keep both her and Joel happy. “Yesterday, the way I saw him with you and the others, he’s never like that with me. I never make him laugh like that. And you get to put your arm around him, touch him in public. I never get that with him. If I touch him in public he just freezes up and he hates it. Yesterday he was acting like the old him again. Not wanting to show any kind of affection around people in the town. I waited for him to come home at Ellie’s and instead of coming to find me, he went straight to bed. Then this morning he completely forgets what we were supposed to do. I don’t feel special. I just don’t. I don’t know if it’s the people here too that make me feel worse or what. I walked into that powerplant yesterday and not one fucking person cared. It made me think about how I got hurt. I almost died. And no one gives a shit. Everyone was just worried that you almost died saving me. And I know my feelings about Joel make me a bad person because I started this relationship with Joel knowing what he was like, but I was so arrogant that I thought I could make him one way that he’s not capable of being.”

“Listen, we both know that’s not true,” Negan moved forward to place his hands over her shoulders to caress over them in a tender sweep. “We both know that Joel has changed in some ways. He’s tried to be better and do things that he wouldn’t even think of doing in the past. It just takes time and sometimes we all fall. All of us make mistakes.”

Y/N simply nodded and lowered her head, attempting to wipe at the tears over her face making Negan feel bad. Lowering down, Negan reached out to sweep his thumb in over the side of her face to wipe away the tears that were there.

“I tell you what…” Negan began with a long sigh, his thick eyebrows arching up when his lips parted. “Go home, relax a little bit. I have to work, but tonight why don’t you come to my house around five. I will do my best to have a little birthday celebration for you. We’ll have dinner first. It won’t be amazing with as little time as I have to prepare for it, but I will do my best. What do you say?”

“I couldn’t do that to you,” she shook her head letting out a nervous breath when he bit down on his bottom lip and shook his head. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure,” he tipped in enough to press a quick kiss over her temple. “I have to get back to work though, okay?”

With a weak smile, she felt Negan squeeze over her shoulder before heading back inside. Doing what Negan suggested, she went home for a while. She took a shower and got herself cleaned up. She did things to keep herself busy until she knew she had to get ready for Negan’s. Part of her thought that she should have brought something to Negan’s for dinner, but what the hell were you supposed to bring someone who already had been given plenty of alcohol and can cook better than anyone in the town?

On her walk over to Negan’s, she knew that she would be early, but she had nervous energy and hoped that if she came over earlier enough maybe she would be able to help Negan with dinner. With a knock on the door, she waited until she heard something knocking over behind the door and it made her smile. Negan pulled the door open with a nervous smile looking back over his shoulder when he shrugged his shoulders, “You’re early.”

“Is that okay?” she inquired watching him pull the door open further for her to come into his house. Negan bent down to pick up some Legos that were on the ground. With a big, cheesy smile Negan looked up at her and snorted.

“I fell on blocks again,” Negan informed her moving over toward the corner of the room where there was a box that he tossed things in. “I hate those fucking things.”

“Something smells good,” she commented making Negan nod and motion her to the kitchen to follow him.

“I was making a white chicken chili and some biscuits with the ingredients I have and could quickly throw together,” Negan headed over toward the stove and when they entered the kitchen, she saw that there were three place sittings at the table. Suddenly, she felt her heart sink when she thought about the third person that would be there with them. Guilt suddenly ate away at her when she thought about what she had done with Negan before. Negan looked back over his shoulder to see Y/N’s face had turned pale and she looked like something horrible had happened to her. “What’s wrong?”

“I should leave. I don’t know what I was thinking,” she announced, hearing Negan calling out to her when she went to head for the door. When he managed to grab her wrist in his hand and pull her to him, she felt like the worst person in the world. “I forgot about Morgan. I forgot that you belong to Morgan and I did what I did with you…”

“Y/N,” Negan snickered, his head shaking when he let out a long shallow breath. “Morgan! Would you come down here please?”

“Negan, no…” she shook her head knowing that it would be the worst possible time to meet someone that was special in Negan’s life. With the sound of footsteps quickly moving down the stairs, Y/N lifted her head and let out a confused exhale when she saw the little girl moving out to Negan. Negan bent down to wrap his arm around Morgan to pull her up into his arms.

“Y/N, this is Morgan…my daughter,” Negan finally introduced the two of them watching the way that Y/N’s thoughts started to spiral inside of her mind and it made Negan shrug his shoulders. “Morgan is my five-year-old daughter.”

“Almost six,” Morgan whispered correcting Negan again on the age making Negan snort before nodding his head about. Morgan reached her hand out making Y/N freeze up when she realized that this whole time she had been incredibly wrong about Morgan and who she was in Negan’s life. How the hell did she not realize that Negan’s Morgan was his daughter? “It’s nice to meet you. Daddy talks about you…all the time.”

“Not all the time,” Negan smirked when he saw Y/N finally accept Morgan’s hand to shake it.

“Most of the time,” Morgan pointed out making a flush of red flood into Negan’s cheeks when he lowered his head getting embarrassed by his daughter. The dimples that accented Morgan’s adorable smile made it hit home even more that the little girl in Negan’s arms was his daughter. If that wasn’t enough, her matching glowing hazel eyes sold it even more. “I wondered if you were real.”

“Hey now,” Negan frowned making Morgan giggle when she hooked her arms around Negan’s shoulders to pull herself in closer to him so she could rest her head against the inside of Negan’s neck.

“Well, you talk about your best friend all the time and I never met her,” Morgan pointed out making Negan chuckle under his breath when a small smirk pressed in over Y/N’s features. “Maybe she was make believe. But now I know she’s pretty and real.”

“That’s sweet,” Y/N noticed the way that Morgan looked to her and smiled brightly. “You’re very pretty yourself.”

“Thank you,” Morgan gave that same big cheesy smile that Negan often gave when something made him happy. Negan reached up to caress his fingers between Morgan’s shoulders and pressed a loving kiss over Morgan’s forehead.

“Why don’t you go finish up what you were doing? Dinner is going to be done soon,” Negan carefully set Morgan down who gave another big smile before heading back upstairs. Negan turned on his heel and he could see that Y/N felt horrible. “I thought I made it pretty clear that Morgan was my daughter. I just could tell that you thought otherwise. Then when Joel mentioned he thought she was my significant other, I realized that must have come from you. I just waited for you to finally realize it. Maybe that makes me a dick, but I got a kick out of it.”

There was a silence that flooded over them and she wanted to say so much, but she didn’t know what to start with. Negan pushed his hands into his pockets and gave her a simple shrug, “You asked what my secret was with Joel, there it is. That’s why he likes to be over here. That’s why he likes to be around me so much. If you look at my daughter and you think back on Sarah, they are remarkably similar. I think it helps Joel relive some of his past memories getting to spend time with my daughter.”

“I can’t believe Joel never told me,” she whispered damning herself for being so blind to things. “Negan, I’m so sorry. I am such a bad fucking friend. I should have known…”

“You were distracted. Which proves my point about Joel,” Negan reached for her wrist to pull her toward the kitchen again. Pulling out a seat for Y/N, he motioned her to sit down so he could talk to her while he still cooked things. “Joel is distracted and he cares about you very much. I like to think that you care about me a significant amount, but you never realized that Morgan was my daughter.”

“I should have put it together. When we talked about you losing your wives and the child…I just assumed you lost your daughter too,” she confessed feeling so incredibly guilty that she had never realized that in all the time she had been close to Negan she never picked up on the fact that Morgan was his daughter. And she knew that he had to have mentioned Morgan being his daughter, but she had to have blocked that part out. “Why do you even like me? I’m a terrible friend.”

“You’re not. You’re just distracted and I realized that,” Negan insisted with a tip of his head when he heard a timer go off and he pulled open the oven to look at the biscuits he was making. “I couldn’t hold it against you because you had so much going on in your life that was overwhelming you.”

“Yeah, but that makes me horrible Negan,” she declared hating that she was so blind to the world around her because she was so lost inside of herself. She was mortified to find out that Morgan was Negan’s child. It should have been obvious the whole time. “I don’t even deserve to be your friend. That makes me a numbskull.”

“No, it makes you someone who was so emotional that they were lost within themselves,” Negan gave her an out, excusing her behavior when he used something to pull out the biscuits from the oven. The sound of footsteps were heard again and Y/N felt her face get hot when Morgan hopped into the chair that he had prepared for her. “There is my beautiful little girl.”

“Daddy was really nervous about this,” Morgan leaned in closer to Y/N so she could gossip about her father with Y/N. It made Negan look back over his shoulder at them and smirk. “When he picked me up from my friend’s house, it was all he could talk about.”

“And why is that?” Negan turned to face his daughter, resting back against the counter when he heard his daughter giggle.

“Because it’s for her birthday?” Morgan tipped her head to the side and her curls bounced when she did it making Y/N smile. Suddenly Morgan’s hazel eyes got wide and she gasped. “Oh! Happy birthday! I made you a card!”

“You made me a card?” Y/N couldn’t help but smile watching Morgan hop out of her chair to run out of the kitchen making Negan snort. “My God Negan, she is so fucking cute.”

“I know,” Negan agreed with Y/N with a shake of his head, his dimples showing that he was proud of his daughter. “I didn’t think I’d be able to make something so damn cute. Yet, there she is. Her mother was gorgeous and so is she. She’s really sweet too. Has a bit of a smartass attitude to her, but she’s mine, so what should I expect?”

“I got it!” Morgan called out making Y/N turn the chair out to her when Morgan held out the folded paper that she had made for her. Y/N accepted the homemade card with a smirk looking at the unicorn that was on the front of it. “Daddy said you liked unicorns, I hope you like it. I’m more of a dinosaur and dragon girl myself.”

“I love this,” Y/N boasted finding herself completely charmed with Negan’s daughter knowing that she was so incredibly happy to be giving her this card that was colored. “I like dragons and dinosaurs too. They are awesome.”

“What’s your favorite dinosaur?” Morgan was so entirely excited to hear that from her and it made Y/N smile. Morgan was a lot like Ellie because Ellie loved dinosaurs too and she could only imagine what those two were like together. Now she understood why Ellie spoke so highly of Morgan. The more she learned, the more ridiculous Y/N felt that she never understood that Morgan was Negan’s daughter. “I like the triceratops.”

“That’s a very good favorite! My favorite…” Y/N thought hard about it before tipping her head to the side. “I think the brachiosaurs is pretty cool.”

“That’s the one with the really long neck, right?” Morgan confirmed with a happy squeal making Y/N laugh before nodding. “It’s so cool! Daddy likes the T-Rex. He does a great impression of it. Daddy…do it.”

“No,” Negan chuckled from where he was standing scooping the chili into the bowls that he had grabbed from the table.

“Daddy come on,” Morgan begged and Y/N turned in her seat staring out at Negan expectantly making him flush over with a bright color of red. “Come on daddy, it’s so funny. Please.”

“I can’t tell you no,” Negan grumbled, pushing the bowls further back on the counter before walking out of the kitchen. It made both of them follow his movements with their eyes. A loud stomping sound was heard making Morgan immediately burst out in laughter before either one of them could even see Negan. Another loud stomp filled the air, followed by another when he finally reached the kitchen. With a boisterous laugh, Y/N couldn’t contain herself seeing that Negan was leaning forward, his arms pulled back. Another loud stomp filled the air when Negan shook his head back and forth before dropping his head back and roaring. It made both of them laugh while Negan moved their chairs, side eyeing back and forth between them before roaring again. Hearing the deep belly laughter from Morgan made Negan stand up straight and shake his head. “Now that I’ve completely embarrassed myself, I’m going to prepare dinner.”

“You shouldn’t be embarrassed, that was great,” Y/N couldn’t help but laugh further when Negan went back to filling the bowls. “You even had the small arms thing going on there.”

“That’s why I like the T-Rex. They think they are the biggest baddest dinosaurs out there and they have these tiny little arms that can’t do shit,” Negan explained making Morgan drop her head and giggle into her arm. It made Negan happy to see that he had both girls laughing, but he knew he was a goof for doing what he did. “You didn’t see the inside of your card yet, did you?”

“No, I haven’t,” Y/N managed to muster enough strength to push aside her laughter to look inside of her card. When she opened it, she could see that it was another drawing of what she assumed to be Negan and Joel.

“Daddy told me that you liked unicorns and that you liked him and Joel,” Morgan slid in closer to Y/N reaching out to point to the drawings that she did. “Can you tell which one is daddy and which one is Joel?”

“Well, I picture the one in the plaid shirt is Joel and the one holding the middle finger up is your dad,” Y/N’s nose wrinkled in amusement seeing Morgan bob her head excitedly with Y/N being able to realize who was who. “This is a beautiful card. It has my three favorite things in it.”

“See, I told you she would like it,” Morgan looked in the direction of Negan who was bringing a bowl and a small plate to the table one at a time setting it before them.

“I do. I love it,” Y/N admitted looking to the card with a proud smile. “I’m going to put it up on my refrigerator when I get home.”

“Do you know Joel’s favorite dinosaur?” Morgan questioned hearing Negan groan out. “What?”

“This one doesn’t stop talking about Joel,” Negan informed Y/N, turning on his heel to circle his finger out at Morgan. “From the moment she met him, all she does is talk about him and Ellie.”

“But they are so cool,” Morgan stressed with her expressive eyebrows making Y/N smirk. “I like the way that Joel talks. And he gets me extra desserts when we have dinner with him!”

“Your boyfriend and Morgan hit it off really well,” Negan finally made it to the table with his food and pulled his chair in closer to the table so he could eat dinner with the two of them. Looking at Morgan, Y/N understood why Joel liked coming over to spend time with Negan as much as possible. Negan wasn’t wrong, Morgan looked so much like a younger version of Sarah and she could see how Joel found comfort in being around her.

“They are best friends. Joel taught her how to skip rocks on the water,” Negan added emphasis to his words making Y/N grin when she realized that there was a sense of jealousy in the way he said that. “I mean daddy knows how to skip rocks, but nope. It’s cooler coming from Joel.”

“Yeah, but Joel showed me how to do it right,” Morgan reasoned with her father reaching for the spoon that was beside her bowl that Negan had set there for her. “Daddy is cool too though. He snuck us a pie for dessert tonight!”

“I did,” Negan looked back over his shoulder at the pie that was on the counter. “I baked an extra one today at work in hopes that you would enjoy it.”

“Your daddy is one of the best bakers here,” Y/N informed Morgan noticing the way that her stomach rumbled with her now smelling the chili that Negan had made for them.

“Oh! That reminds me,” Morgan looked to Y/N with big eyes. “Did you like the cake that daddy made you for your real birthday? We worked so hard on that thing together. Well, I sat here mostly. But I helped talk him through it.”

“You helped plenty,” Negan acknowledged with a wink making Y/N nod. “I couldn’t have stayed awake if you weren’t here to keep me up.”

“True,” Morgan took a big bite of her food that Negan put out for her.

“I loved it. Joel and Ellie thought it was great too,” Y/N answered doing her best not to let out a pleased sound when she took a spoonful of the chili that Negan made. It was incredible how good Negan’s food actually was considering things. “Between your card and your dads cake, I can’t think of two things that made my birthday more special.”

Through dinner and dessert, Morgan spent a lot of time asking Y/N questions about her life. When they got done, they headed downstairs to the basement after Negan insisted they had a night full of ‘fun’ planned for them. When she saw the basement, she instantly understood why Ellie liked coming here. From the video game area to the comics to the pool table and the ping pong table it was definitely a place someone could get lost in for hours. Even with the bar that was set up in the corner, it was certainly a place where someone wouldn’t have to feel like they had to leave in order to have a good time.

First, they played ping pong together where she teamed with Morgan. Then they watched a movie together before they pulled out the game Twister where Morgan had her and Negan playing together while Morgan controlled the spinner.

“You know, this was probably stupid on my end since this is killing my ribs and my shoulder,” Negan announced gazing back at his daughter who seemed to be giggling with the way that him and Y/N were tangled up together on the floor before her.

“Are you quitting?” Y/N looked over her shoulder at Negan who grumbled to himself when Morgan made the next spin.

“Right hand green daddy,” Morgan explained making Negan groan out when he reached across Y/N in attempts to use his hurt arm to stretch out over her. At this point Y/N was underneath Negan and Negan was over her. When Negan managed to get it, Morgan spun it again. “Right foot blue Y/N.”

“Oh come on,” Y/N groaned out hearing Negan snicker when Y/N attempted to do what was instructed of her before falling making Morgan giggle out. Negan had won, but the moment she hit the ground Negan laid down beside her and huffed out loudly. “I remember that being easier as a kid.”

“Lots of things were easier as a kid,” Negan grumbled out with a groan when Morgan hopped in over him and he wrapped his arms tightly around his daughter. “I think you get joy of your daddy getting his ass kicked.”

“You’re just funny,” Morgan acknowledge with a shrug. With a gasp, Morgan clung to Negan’s wrists when he lifted her up above him making her burst out in laughter.

“You know, she laughed just like this when she was a baby. I’d hold her over me and make airplane sounds and she’d just have a hoot.”

“I still do. Now it’s just super Morgan,” Morgan stroke a pose making Y/N burst out in laughter at how much personality Negan’s daughter visibly had. Negan brought her back down to bring her down over his chest to hold her tightly in his arms. “Ellie said she was going to draw a comic of me as a superhero.”

“And I have no doubts that she will. You’d make a striking superhero,” Y/N turned on her side to stare out at Morgan who cuddled closer into Negan. “You have the cutest dimples. You know that?”

“I get them from my dad,” Morgan yawned, cuddling her head in closer to Negan’s chest making Y/N smirk when she realized that Morgan was getting tired.

“Nah, you’re so much cuter than dad is,” Negan stroked his fingers over the back of Morgan’s neck, pressing a quick kiss over her head before laying back on the ground again. “I think you’re falling asleep little one.”

“No, I’m just resting my eyes,” Morgan frowned, cuddling in closer to Negan’s chest. “I don’t want to go to sleep. This is the first time that Y/N is here and I don’t want to miss out on her birthday.”

“If you’re tired honey, you should go to sleep,” Y/N reached out to brush the hair that fell in front of Morgan’s eyes out of it to brush it behind her ear. “I promise you, this won’t be the last time that I come here. Now that I know how things are, I’ll try to come over as much as possible.”

“I guess if you guys want to take me to bed, you can…” she reached up to rub at her eyes making Negan snicker. Negan sat up carefully and Morgan wrapped her arms around Negan’s shoulders. It took a minute for Negan to manage to get up with his daughter in his arms. When he finally did, she cuddled her head in closer to him while he headed for the stairs. Y/N followed them feeling awkward at the idea of being left alone in Negan’s home. They headed upstairs and Negan got Morgan ready for bed. When she was snuggled in, she gave Negan a tired smile. “Tell me a story.”

“What kind of story do you want to hear?” Negan caressed his thumb in over the side of Morgan’s face, glancing back over his shoulder at Y/N from where she was standing in the doorway.

“How about you both tell me a story about a unicorn,” Morgan snickered making Y/N step forward into Morgan’s room when Negan looked to Y/N wondering if she was up for something like that.

“A story about a unicorn? Hmmm…” Negan noticed the way that Y/N knelt in beside Morgan’s bed and Morgan reached out for Y/N’s hand. Y/N accepted it and stroked her thumb over the back of Morgan’s hand. “Once upon a time there was a lonely unicorn. The world was changing all around her and she was the last remaining unicorn.”

“Well that’s sad,” Morgan frowned making Negan smirk, his smile tugging at his lips when Y/N cleared her throat. “It should be a happier story.”

“It was sad, but it gets better. The unicorn had lost her family and she traveled a very long distance before a group of horses accepted her into their family,” Y/N stumbled over her own words, seeing that there was amusement in Negan’s eyes while they tried to come up with a story together. “At first, the unicorn didn’t feel like she belonged in the family of horses because they were all so perfect. It made the unicorn feel even more alone…”

“Until she met the local donkey that the horses had also invited to be in their family,” Negan interrupted making Morgan giggle and Negan made a donkey sound. Lowering down, he nuzzled his nose in against the side of Morgan’s face making her laughter grow louder.

“That donkey was the funniest, sweetest creature she had ever met. He was unique, just like her,” Y/N continued on with their story making Negan’s eyebrow arch up in curiosity. “Unlike the horses that invited her into their home, the donkey made her feel at ease. Like she belonged in the world.”

“Did they fall in love?” Morgan inquired making Negan let out a long exhale.

“No baby, they were just friends. You see, the unicorn fell in love with a stallion that was part of the horse family. The stallion had gone away for some work and when he came back the unicorn was smitten,” Negan responded with a shake of his head. “This stallion was incredible. Handsome. Everyone in the family of the horses looked up to the stallion. He was strong. He took care of the family.”

“But wasn’t the donkey the one that made her feel like she wasn’t alone?” Morgan repeated what they had said making Negan’s jaw lower and he looked to Y/N for her to finish the story in some sense.

“The unicorn loved both the donkey and the stallion,” Y/N responded for Negan with a shake of her head. “You see, the stallion made her happy, but the donkey was the one that brought back the magic that she once had. The donkey was once a unicorn himself, but there was a witch that put a spell on him. Made him think he wasn’t special like the stallion. You see, when the unicorn got her magical powers back, she could see the donkey for what he used to be.”

“Beautiful? Like the other stallion? But even more beautiful because he was a unicorn too?” Morgan looked between the two of them noticing the way that her dad was staring out at Y/N. “Daddy?”

“Yeah. She saw him for who he really was. But there was no way of breaking the curse. The donkey was going to forever be a donkey. There was nothing that could change him back to what he once was,” Negan finished up, leaning forward to nuzzle his nose in against Morgan’s. “But here is the thing, the donkey was happy with that. He wanted what was best for the unicorn.”

“How did he know that he wasn’t what was best for her?” Morgan reached up to rub at her eyes showing that she was getting more tired as it went.

“Because he knew the stallion she was in love with would always protect her and keep her safe,” Negan responded, reaching out to lovingly stroke across the side of Morgan’s face. “And what the unicorn didn’t know was that the stallion she fell in love with actually had unicorn blood in him too. So when they fell in love, they had babies and their babies were unicorns too. So the unicorn was no longer the only unicorn left in the world.”

“That’s cute,” Morgan yawned, lifting up enough to give her father a quick kiss, cuddling the stuffed animal that she had in her arms tighter after. “But I think the donkey deserved to be happy too.”

“The donkey was happy,” Negan whispered, leaning in to press a kiss over Morgan’s forehead. “Goodnight baby.”

“Goodnight,” Morgan gave a tired smile before looking to Y/N. “It was nice to meet you Y/N. I’m glad daddy has a friend like you.”

“I’m glad that I have a friend like your daddy,” Y/N admitted standing up from where she was knelt, waiting for Negan to finish talking to Morgan before following him. When they made it back downstairs together, Negan shoved his hands into his pockets and shrugged. “You want to talk for a few?”

“If that’s what you want,” Negan motioned her to follow him back downstairs, closing the door behind him when the headed back down. She sat down on the couch and he dropped down beside her. “Thank you for being so good with Morgan.”

“She’s adorable,” Y/N stated with a shrug of her shoulders letting out a tense breath while she gazed over at Negan. “So tell me donkey, what was it that made you like the unicorn to begin with? Because as far as I can tell, this unicorn his very self-centered and kind of a shit.”

“Nah, you’re not,” Negan shook his head letting out a snorting sound. “I don’t know if you remember the first time we met. The first thing you ever did was correct me. Thing was, you were wrong and I thought it was cute as hell. You were so confident you were right, I didn’t have it in me to tell you that you were wrong. So I just agreed with you and let you think I listened to you. You were just too cute and determined for me to tell you that you were wrong.”

“Come on, that’s not true,” she laughed making Negan shake his head. “Why would you do that?”

“I didn’t have it in me to tell you that you were wrong. So I just ran with it and then after that day I was so charmed by you that I kept harassing you every time I saw you,” Negan reminded her with a long, extended sigh. “The first time we really hung out was at that movie. Morgan was with her friend, so I came over and sat next to you. I stole your popcorn.”

“God, I thought you were so rude,” she chuckled resting her head against Negan’s shoulder while they talked about their history together.

“Yet you still continued to share your popcorn with me,” Negan thought back, cuddling his head in next to hers. “After that day, we both just kept annoying each other. I was smitten with you. Do you remember that party that we went to together? It was a few weeks before Joel showed back up with Ellie?”

“Vaguely,” she lifted her head up after she heard Negan snort. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, the two of us ended up drinking. A lot,” Negan recalled, his eyes searching hers when she sat up straighter. “I’m bigger than you so it didn’t fuck me up as much as it did you. You kept telling me how good looking you thought I was. Asked me to take you home.”

“I don’t remember this at all,” she confessed, her eyebrows furrowing when Negan nodded his head.

“I figured as much. As soon as I walked you home, you jumped into my arms and you were desperately trying to get me to sleep with you,” Negan informed her, dragging his tongue out over his bottom lip. “I mean we were sitting on the couch together and you crawled in over me. You dry humped the shit out of me.”

“Oh come on,” she was obviously having a hard time believing him making Negan shake his head. “I did not.”

“Oh you did. I was trying to get you to relax and you just kept rubbing up against me. I was surprised you didn’t make me come in my pants since I hadn’t been with someone in so long,” Negan confessed making her let out an embarrassed sound when she dropped her head into her palms. “I convinced you it wasn’t good to sleep together that night since you were so drunk. You still asked me to stay with you and I told you I couldn’t because of Morgan. That was the first night I told you about my daughter. So I took you to bed and walked home with this incredibly raging hardon.”

“Negan,” she scoffed making Negan chuckle at her response. “The sad thing is, I think I remember you mentioning Morgan because that’s when I started to think she was your significant other. I just didn’t remember the rest of any of that.”

“Oh well, after that day I thought maybe you were uncomfortable trying to hook up with a single father because you acted like that day didn’t happen. At all,” Negan informed her with a long sigh, shrugging his shoulders. “Which is fine. I know single fathers aren’t for everyone. That’s a lot of baggage for someone to take on. And then when Joel came back to town and all you could talk about was Joel, I knew that the two of us were never going to be anything more than best friends.”

“Jesus,” she brushed her fingers through her hair hating to hear that she made such an ass of herself in the past. “I swear, I didn’t even make a move on you because I thought Morgan was your girlfriend. I even told Joel when I first met him that you weren’t even an option because you were taken. I was so fucking attracted to you, but that night when you told me about Morgan I told myself that I couldn’t be with you.”

“Ah, I see,” Negan got more comfortable on the couch again. “Regardless, you were meant to be with Joel anyways. So it’s good that things ended up the way that they did.”

“If that was supposed to be how things are, why is it that you make me feel better than Joel does?” she pushed making Negan turn his head to look at her. “I feel horrible Negan. You and Morgan helped me smile today and laugh. But I am in so much pain that I can’t even explain it. You’re the only person that alleviates that pain for me.”

“Y/N,” Negan sighed out feeling her leaning forward to pepper faint kisses over his jawline. “Please…I love you. This isn’t fair.”

“You love me and Joel. I love you and Joel,” she whispered kissing down over the side of Negan’s neck. Caressing her hand in over Negan’s thigh, she tested the waters when she caressed up and over the center of Negan’s pants. “You were so much more than I thought you were. Seeing you tonight with your daughter makes me realize you are perfect Negan. Watching you be an incredible father to her makes me swoon more than you will ever know. I’m sorry I didn’t see things sooner…”

“Y/N,” Negan’s breathing got louder when she worked open his belt with one hand, her other hand grabbing a firm hold of his jaw to get him to look at her with his heavy-lidded stare.

“You should at least let me repay you for those blue balls that I left you with,” she whispered, skimming her lips in over Negan’s when she managed to get his slacks parted enough for her to snake her hand beneath the material. Curling her fingers around his shaft, she felt the warmth of his lips hovering over hers and she could tell that there was tension in Negan’s body when she started caressing over his flesh. “Please Negan…make me feel better.”

“It’s only going to be temporary,” Negan faintly brushed his lips over hers and she could tell that he was doing everything in his power to hold back. “I want you to be happy. And whatever could happen right now, it would only be a temporary feel better because of how things are.”

“Please,” she begged of him, letting out a whimper when Negan claimed her lips with his. Each stroke of his lips over hers was passionate, his fingers stroking over the side of her face leaving her breathless when he pulled away.

“Stand up,” Negan growled against her lips, nipping faintly at her bottom lip. Tipping her head to the side, she didn’t know where he was headed when she pulled her hand from his pants and slowly stood to her feet. Sliding to the edge of the couch, Negan wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her in closer to him. Negan’s big hazel eyes gazed up at her before he deposited a kiss over her abdomen. “Are you sure?”

“I am,” she breathed out feeling Negan’s fingers brushing up underneath the material of her shirt. His rough fingertips grazed over the flesh of her abdomen making her eyes come to a tight close. Pushing the material up, Negan’s lips brushed over the area beneath her navel making her hum in appreciation. Sinking her fingers into his hair, she tipped her head while he took his time peppering hot, wet kisses over her lower abdomen toward the top of her pants. Stretching his hand out, Negan dragged his palm down the length of her abdomen before reaching the top of her pants to unhook the material. It seemed like Negan paused to think about things before looking up at her again. Stroking her thumb over his bottom lip, Negan parted his lips and took it into his mouth nibbling faintly at the pad of it. “It’s okay.”

Taking those words as encouragement, Negan worked to pull the material down her body helping her step out of it. It surprised her how much she was genuinely shaking while Negan dragged his hands up and over the outsides of her legs toward her thighs, “Take your shirt off.”

Listening to him, Y/N shakily reached for her shirt to tug it from her body before dropping it with her jeans. The way that Negan looked at her made a chill run through her veins. There was something in the way that his eyes looked at her that made her feel incredibly seen and wanted. With a swallow loud enough for Negan to hear, she felt his fingers hooking at the top of her panties before pulling them down with ease. Negan’s mouth followed the movement of her panties, kissing down over her leg before allowing her to step out of the material.

“You are so fucking beautiful,” Negan slurred, his words vibrating against her flesh when he started kissing back up over her leg toward her inner thigh.

Closing her eyes tightly, she felt Negan’s large palms caressing over her hips before pulling her closer to him. A shuddering breath fell from her throat when she felt the warmth of his breath etch over her before his tongue dragged out over the length of her sex making her gasp. Almost instinctively, her fingers hooked into Negan’s salt and pepper colored hair while he pressed wet kisses over the most intimate parts of her body. It had her heart hammering inside of her chest with his talented tongue caressing over her body followed by wet sucking, kissing motions. It had her pants filling the air while his fingers caressed over the backs of her thighs. Dropping her head, she admired how passionate Negan seemed to be in pleasuring her while the long strokes of his tongue traced over her. His lips circled her clitoris, sucking faintly varying between his tongue and his mouth. It had her shaking and bucking her hips in closer to him while he pleasured her doing exactly what she asked of him. He was making her feel better.

Clasping tightly to Negan’s shoulders, she could feel her legs shaking with what he was doing making him pull back with a wet sound. Tipping his head back, he licked his lips using his thumb to stroke over her sensitive bundle of nerves making her whimper out.

“Sit down,” Negan instructed, helping her into position when he knelt before her on the ground. Pulling her closer to the edge of the couch, he carefully placed her right leg over his shoulder. Stroking his fingers over the length of her sex, Negan’s eyes raised to hers and he smirked when she arched her hips in closer to him. “You’re not at all enjoying this, are you?”

With a whine, she saw the wicked smirk that he gave her before circling his fingers over her entrance. Inserting one finger made her let out a whimper when he lowered his head back between her thighs. His mouth and tongue focused heavily on her clitoris when he added a second finger and thrusted his fingers inside of her at the same tempo his tongue made over her.

“Negan,” she cooed out his name, snaking her fingers into his hair again to hook tightly into it. Her moans along with the wet sounds he made while pleasuring her surrounded them. It didn’t take long before he had her a shaking mess before him. Knowing that she was close, the strong strokes of his tongue over her body continued and his hazel eyes raised to watch her when she dropped her head back. A cry escaped her when her body shook against his face, her fingers pulling him closer to her while he continued to pleasure her through her orgasm. With his long fingers inside of her, hitting all the right spots she was left breathless when he finally pulled his mouth away from her. “Jesus.”

Pressing faint kisses over her thigh, Negan growled and nipped at her flesh before leaning back on his knees, “Did that make you feel better?”

“We’re getting close,” she muttered feeling an ache in her head when she reached for Negan’s shirt to pull him up from the ground to make him stumble in beside her. Being careful didn’t matter to her when she eagerly worked to get Negan’s pants down his hips. A deep rumble of a groan fell from his throat when his solid cock sprung free from the material showing how much he truly enjoyed pleasuring her. Lowering herself in over his lap, her fingers hooked around the base of his cock before she started pressing faint kisses at the swollen tip.

“You don’t have to…” Negan moaned out, dropping his head back when the warmth of her mouth surrounded him taking him back into her throat. Tensing up beneath her, Negan didn’t know where to put his hands while she dragged her tongue out over the underside of his cock on her pull back before circling her tongue around the sensitive tip. “Fucking hell Y/N…”

Stroking his fingers through her hair, Negan knew that it had been so long since someone had done this for him and it had him melting in the palm of her hand. With her head bobbing over his length, Negan caressed over her shoulders and licked his lips knowing that he should have stopped her, but his heart was hammering inside of his chest. It felt like the room was spinning around him with the wet sounds she made while she gave him a blowjob.

“Fuck…,” Negan moaned out drawing a chill to flood her body at the sounds he made. It was so rare that Joel was a verbal lover, so having Negan being like this was unlike anything she was used to with Joel and she liked it. Pulling her mouth away from his body, she caressed her saliva over the length of his girthy shaft. Pressing wet kisses over the sensitive tip, she could hear Negan’s breathing growing louder. Pulling her grasp away, she felt brazen in the moment when she stood up from the couch and worked to get Negan’s pants from his long legs. Reaching for his shirt, she could feel tension in his movements after she deposited the material and then unhooked her bra so they were both naked before one another. “Y/N, I don’t…”

“It’s okay,” she hushed Negan crawling in over his lap making his long eyelashes flutter. His wet lips parted and she placed her hand in over the center of his chest to brace herself. “I know it’s been a long time, but I promise not to hurt you…”

“You can’t promise something like that,” Negan responded with a groan when her lips skimmed over his and she reached between the two of them to caress over his rigid length. “I need to know that this is what you want…”

“It is,” she pressed faint kisses over his lips, enjoying the grasp that Negan’s hands had over her hips. Just the way he looked at her made her feel incredible when she adjusted over his lap even further. Leading his tip to her entrance, she traced it back and forth over her wet length making him moan out. There was a nervous tension in Negan’s body that excited her all the more when she finally started to lower herself over his length making the both of them let out a moan in unison. Pressing her forehead to his, she enjoyed the way his arm hooked around her hips when she took him further into her. It was a sweet, stretching feeling that made her feel incredibly full. Negan’s other hand was caressing up and over her hip when his lips claimed hers in a desperate kiss that was so full of passion that it took her breath away. “Negan!”

Taking her time, she hooked her arms around Negan’s shoulders and brought them closer together as she started to slowly lift her hips up toward his tip before lowering down. Each movement was careful while she got accustomed to him inside of her. It was amazing how connected she felt to Negan during this moment with his hand palming up over her body to caress in over her jawline.

“I love you,” Negan breathed out making her heart hammer inside of her chest. Having this incredibly cocky, arrogant man beneath her being so passionate and loving had her swooning more than she should have ever been but she couldn’t help herself. With time her movements became more confident, her fingers sinking into Negan’s hair while they kissed. It felt like Negan wanted to keep a connection between them while she rocked her hips over his taking his cock into her time and time again.

“I love you too,” she purred against his lips, her cries becoming more frequent when her movements grew in strength over him. Bracing her hands over Negan’s shoulders, she purred when Negan dropped his head down to press kisses over her breasts with his hands cupping softly at her flesh. Having Negan filling her repeatedly drove her crazy with how good it felt with him inside of her while she attempted to quicken their movements making Negan groan out against her flesh. “You feel so good inside of me.”

Gasping out, she felt Negan rolling her over onto her back making her heart pound inside of her chest when Negan rest on his knees above her. It made her throat go dry seeing his slender abdomen contracting and relaxing while he gazed over her. Curling his arm around her waist, Negan adjusted her so she was more comfortably laid out on the couch before lowering carefully in over her, his nose nuzzling in against hers.

Looking between them, she saw Negan stroking over his length, leading himself back toward her entrance. With a wince, she tipped her head back feeling him entering her at an agonizingly slow pace. It made her lips part and Negan’s mouth hovered over hers. Whimpers fell from her throat when Negan started to roll his hips back and forth drawing the length of his cock inside of her in addictive motions leaving her wanting more.

“You know…” she nibbled at Negan’s bottom lip, stroking her fingers over the lengths of Negan’s back. One of her hands cupped his small bottom enjoying the way his muscles flexed and relaxed underneath her touch. “You read like the dominant daddy type that will fuck you until you are screaming his name, but you’re so fucking romantic.”

“I can be both,” Negan smiled against her lips, his forehead pressing against hers while she purred beneath him with him working to build a tempo between them. “But you deserve to be made love to. Because you are so fucking gorgeous. And maybe I’m a romantic at heart…”

“I couldn’t tell,” she moaned out feeling a rush to her head when Negan angled his hips a certain way leaving the tip of his cock to rub against her g-spot continually making her cling tightly to him. “Fuck Negan…please…please don’t stop…”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan rumbled his hips smacking up against hers using the same strength that he was using previously. Her nails bit into his shoulders making his deep, raspy moan fill the area surrounding her. With a wail, she claimed his mouth with hers knowing that she needed to silence herself since his daughter was sleeping upstairs. Shaking, she found the friction of his groin rubbing up against her adding to the sensation that was building up inside of her. When her next orgasm flooded through her, she pressed her hand into Negan’s abdomen to get him to stop when she cried out against the side of his neck.

“Fuck, fuck…” she bit down on her bottom lip knowing that if she sounded like she wanted to she might wake up Morgan and that was the last thing she wanted. There was a proud sound that fell from Negan’s throat while he kissed at the side of her neck allowing her to take the breather that she needed. “You don’t have sex like someone who has been celibate for five years.”

“Should I apologize for that?” Negan chuckled, his thumb and index finger clasping her jaw in his grasp so he could bring her lips to his.

“Never apologize for…that,” she purred out against the kiss feeling like the world was still spinning around her. Pushing her hand into the center of Negan’s chest, she adjusted their bodies so that she was in over him. Crawling in over Negan, she rest her knees at his sides and enjoyed the way it felt to have him caressing up and over her body in awe while he laid stretched out beneath her. “You amaze me.”

“In a good way I hope,” Negan stammered when she reached for his cock again to bring them back together. It made his lips part when she braced her hands over his chest and confidently rolled her hips over his taking her time to enjoy the feeling of him being inside of her left her with. Negan’s palms caressed up and over her back before cupping her breasts in his large hands. “You are so fucking beautiful.”

“Negan,” she gasped when he pulled himself up into a seated position, curling his arm around her waist to help her control her motions over him. Bringing their mouths together, Negan kissed her passionately while she purred against his kiss knowing that she was already so incredibly sensitive after the two orgasms he had already given her.

“Fuck…” Negan bit down on his bottom lip when he pulled his head back to look between them watching her taking his cock again and again inside of her. His body started to tense up, the muscles in his abdomen flexing when he panted. “I’m going to come…”

“Good…” she brushed her tongue in over his feeling the throbbing of his erection inside of her while she bounced her hips over his more enthusiastically hoping to get him to the same high that he had gotten her to multiple times tonight.

Their breathing became uneven, their kisses more desperate and demanding when he moaned out. Negan’s fingers dug into her hips when the first line of his cum spilled out inside of her making her purr out with the warmth it left her with. Powerfully bouncing her hips over his length, she didn’t miss a beat in continuing to ride him and when the sensation of his thumb connecting with her clitoris was felt she purred out into his mouth. Negan’s tongue brushed over hers while her fingers hooked into his wet hair. With a whimper she felt her body shake over Negan and she dropped her head in over his shoulder after she came.

Holding her in his arms, Negan stroked his fingers over her shoulders and she couldn’t believe how comfortable and at ease she actually felt in his arms. Even the way he was holding her was incredibly romantic. Each kiss that was placed over her neck made her whimper out knowing that being with Negan felt better than she could have ever imagined.

“I love you so much,” Negan covered her lips with his, his tongue brushing out against hers before she lowered her head to cuddle it in against the center of his chest. Laying back, Negan brought her with him so she could lay in over him. The sensation of him going soft inside of her was something she enjoyed while she stroked her fingers through the thick curls of hair over the center of his chest. It took a minute for Negan to gather himself but as she pressed a kiss over the side of his neck it made him let out a nervous exhale. “This isn’t going to change our relationship, is it? I can’t lose you. I just can’t.”

“Of course you won’t lose me,” she assured him, tracing over the tattoo that covered Negan’s pectoral muscle. Kissing at his chest, she bit at his nipple making him hiss out when she looked up to him with her bright eyes. “I can’t live without you.”

“Promise?” Negan stammered and he looked genuinely concerned now that they had slept together that he would lose her from his life.

Crawling further up, she pressed loving kisses over Negan’s lips enjoying the way his arm curled around her waist in a protective manner, “I promise.”

----

Humming a song to herself, Ellie headed for the front door of Joel’s home assuming that he would be gone for the day with Y/N for her birthday. After spending a day with her friends, Ellie was hoping to come home and grab herself something to eat from Joel’s place before heading to bed. Entering Joel’s house, Ellie let out a surprised sound when she looked down to see that there were flower petals on the ground making her tip her head to the side. Pulling the headphones that she had on slowly from her head, she cleared her throat and found herself confused.

The sound of a guitar being strummed filled the air and she walked into the living room to see that Joel was sitting on the couch with his guitar in his lap. When the sound of her walking in was heard, she saw Joel lift his head up and she threw her hands up in the air, “What the fuck Joel? I’m gonna guess I’m not the one you were expecting? Where the fuck is Y/N?”

“Uhm, I think I fucked up,” Joel explained with a loud swallowing sound, his dark eyes upset when he pointed over toward the kitchen. “I’m clearly not good with surprises. This morning, I woke up and I told Y/N that I was leaving for the day to be with Tommy on a run. I asked Maria to come and snag Y/N during the middle of the day so she wasn’t here while I set this up. And uh…she’s never come home.”

“I’m sorry, you told her what?” Ellie pushed at the flower petals that were on the floor and she grunted to herself. “These are going to be a bitch to get up Joel.”

“I acted like I didn’t remember it was the day I was supposed to celebrate her birthday. I told her that I was leaving for the whole day and I wouldn’t be back until tomorrow,” Joel confessed, strumming at the guitar that was in his arms before carefully setting it aside. “So I think I really fucked up and upset her because she’s never come back home.”

“Well why the hell would you say that? Of course you upset her you idiot,” Ellie noticed the way that Joel glared up at her, the wrinkles in his forehead growing. “Why would you even pretend that you didn’t remember?”

“I was trying to get her out of the house so I could set all this up…” Joel swirled his finger around and Ellie took a look to see that there were candles lit all around the living room making Ellie wonder how long he had this whole thing up. “I thought it would surprise her more if she thought that I wasn’t here.”

“You likely crushed her Joel,” Ellie pushed making Joel huff loudly before brushing his fingers through his hair. “You forget her birthday. Then you promise her this big grand day and you end up telling her that you are leaving acting like you forgot. Where in that brain of yours did you think that was a good idea?”

“I was nervous and I probably wasn’t thinking clearly,” Joel admitted standing up from the couch and reaching for something from his pocket to hand it over to Ellie.

“What is this?” Ellie looked to the small box that was in her hand and she opened it seeing the ring that was inside and Ellie threw her head about. “Joel, is this what I fucking think this is?”

“Yeah, I was going to ask her to marry me,” Joel threw his hand around in the air making Ellie let out a shocked breath. “I had a song where I planned to tell her that I loved her and I grabbed that ring weeks ago. I just was gathering my nerves in order to do it. I was going to give her the guitar after I sang to her. I was hoping to have her turn the other way and when she turned…”

“Joel, you idiot,” Ellie moved across the living room to hit her father figure in the chest hearing him grunt. Closing up the box she tossed it back to him and reached up to press her hand in over her forehead. “There were so many ways to get her out of the house. Ask me to take her somewhere. Say you had to go run to work really quick. If you were planning to ask her to marry you, she should have been pampered from start to finish. Not made to believe that she wasn’t important enough to remember, again.”

“I thought it would make her happier when she came back to see that I was actually here and I didn’t forget,” Joel reasoned with Ellie, dropping back on the couch with a loud sigh. Reaching up, he stroked down and over the side of his face. “Apparently, I was very fucking wrong.”

“You think?” Ellie headed over toward the other end of the couch to drop down on the couch with him. “Damn it, Joel.”

“I know,” Joel huffed, throwing his hands about. “All I can do is wait and hope to apologize whenever she gets here because I fucked up. I fucked up bad.”

----

Tags: @jennydehavilland @de-gabyconamor @ibelongtonegan @smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan @redmercysugar @caprithebunny @tuttifuckinfruitty @emoryhemsworth @a-girl-interupted @akumune @stoneyggirl2 @xsarcasticwriterx @insertneganhere @haleygreen23 @xhannahbananax03 @sanctuaryforthelost @burningredaffair @killaweiser @dead-of-niight @ayumi-wolf @hollyismentallyillhelp @tone-stark @chloepricerk800 @thesapphirequeen @wonwoosthetic @misskittydenoire @casangel1986

#Jeffrey Dean Morgan #Negan #Joel Miller #Pedro Pascal #negan x reader #joel miller x reader #The Last of Us #The Walking Dead #negan fanfiction #joel miller fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #twd fanfiction #negan x you #joel miller x you

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daisies-daydreams · 11 months

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The First Step - Chapter 2 (Simon Riley x F!Reader)

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x F!Reader Category: Fluff & Angst Warnings: Swearing, Some Sexual References (No Smut), Mentions of Drinking/Trauma, Nightmares Word Count: 2.4k+

A/N: As requested by several people, I wrote a second chapter for The First Step! Not much happens much in this chapter, just some set-up for what’s going to happen next. 😉 Stay tuned and thank you for reading!

The First Step (Ch. 1)

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI

“Alright. Everything seems to be settled for now. You’re both dismissed,” Price said with a nod. The meeting after the incident in your office was a long process, though Price's usual gruff voice was more soft when he asked ran through the standard questions with you. You glanced over at Ghost as both of you rose from your seats at the same time. He looked at Price, who was giving him a knowing grin. Ghost's cheeks burned as he cleared his throat. He motioned his hand out as he opened the office door.

“After you,” he stated. You grinned.

“Thank you, Gho-Simon,” you quickly corrected yourself. You smiled at him as you stepped through the threshold. Ghost closed the door behind him, relieved that the meeting was over.

“I see you, MacTavish!” your voice suddenly boomed as you strode down the hallway. Ghost’s head snapped up as he watched you poke your finger at the Scotsman’s chest, his dog tags jingling at the rough contact. Soap raised his thick brows.

“Ah dinnae ken what you’re talkin’ about,” Soap said with a slight smirk. You scoffed.

“You know damn well that I won that drinking game last week, Soap!" you accused. Soap’s eyes lingered over to Ghost, his bright, baby blues pleading with him to do something. Ghost just stood behind you, his arms crossed as he watched with a hidden, amused expression. You turned, your eyes lighting up when you saw him behind you.

“Ghost! You were there that night. Tell this rapscallion that he owes me twenty-five dollars,” you said as you turned back around and eyed the man across from you. Soap rolled his eyes.

“Rapscallion? What are you, ninety?” Soap gawked. You scowled at him. “Listen, we both know that I had just ‘this’ much more liquor than you. So if anything, you owe me twenty-five dollars,” he claimed as he nearly pinched his fingers together. Both of you looked over at Ghost. He sighed and shook his head.

“I’ll pay you both twenty-five dollars if you can be at peace for at least five minutes,” Ghost rumbled. Your jaw dropped as Soap snorted.

“I don’t think that’s possible with this lass,” Soap chuckled as he raised his hand to pat your back. Your eyes widened as you quickly covered your arms above your head. Soap’s cheeky grin fell as he studied you. Ghost’s throat tightened as you nervously laughed.

“Sorry. I’m just kind of…jumpy today,” you muttered as you straightened yourself. Soap’s face remained blank as he looked over at Ghost. The lieutenant stepped over to him.

“I’ll tell you about it later,” he whispered. Soap looked back over at you and nodded.

“Right,” he replied. Ghost grunted before staring down at his watch.

“Nearly dinner time,” he stated. You nodded. He noticed your eyes lingering on him before you looked down at your feet. Soap shifted his gaze between the two of you before a wry grin made its way on his face.

“Oh no,” Ghost thought.

“You know, there’s that new place that opened up just a few minutes from base,” he suggested while nudging Ghost’s arm. Ghost glared at him through his mask as Soap took a careful step back. Your eyes lit up.

“Oh! That Italian restaurant? I’ve been wanting to eat there since they announced it,” you beamed. Ghost’s jaw clicked when Soap raised his brows.

“Really? Me too! We should all go check it out tonight,” he said. Your face fell.

“I-I don’t have a ride. He’s…not available,” you said, your voice strained and tears welling in your eyes. Ghost’s nostrils flared. Just the thought of that bastard made him want to punch his fist through a brick wall. Soap almost raised his hand again, yet lowered it.

“That’s alright. One of us could drive you,” his eyes flicked over to Ghost. Ghost sighed, wanting to run his hands down his face. Your lips tilted into an unsure expression.

“I don’t know. I’m actually feeling pretty tired,” you said. Soap shrugged.

“That’s alright, doc. Some other time then,” he smiled softly. You nodded and slowly turned to Ghost. He met your gaze, his cheeks still burning and throat tight.

“Could you drive me home?” you asked.

“Sure,” he replied with a shrug. Soap patted him on his back.

“That’s good-cause my car’s in the shop!” he chuckled. You laughed while Ghost groaned quietly. “See you two later!” Soap called as he turned on his heel.

“You still owe her twenty-five dollars,” Ghost raised his voice slightly. Your shoulders bounced as you watched Soap’s brows raise and jaw drop.

“WHAT?!” the Scotsman bellowed. You laughed. Ghost felt his heart soften at the sound of your giggling, Soap’s ranting fading out. He leaned over to you.

“Let’s get out of here, yeah?” he whispered. You nodded, then gasped when he placed a hand on your lower back. He flinched it away. “Sorry,” he murmured.

“It’s alright,” you sighed.

“-and in other words, you can-“ Ghost scowled at Soap. Even though the mask, the Scotsman could see his patience wearing thin. His mouth snapped shut as he waved his hand.

“Ah, whatever. I’ll get the money to you by tomorrow night,” Soap replied. You grinned.

“I’ll hold you to it, MacTavish,” you grinned while pointing your finger at him. He chuckled and rolled his eyes. Soap whistled as he made his way down the hall. You turned back to Ghost while he pulled his car keys out of his pocket. You parted your lips.

“Simon,” you said. He looked down at you, his dark eyes softening as you came close to him.

“Yes, (Y/N)?” he asked, his voice somewhat lower than he intended. You kept your gaze down before you closed your mouth.

“I-Thank you. For today,” you sighed before taking a step back. His heart cracked slightly.

“Of course. You-“ he quickly shut his mouth. You tilted your head up.

“I’m what, Simon?” you asked. Ghost’s heart began to race in his chest as he fumbled with his keys. A lump formed in his throat.

“You matter so much to me”...is what he wanted to say. He gripped his keys, the words stuck on his tongue as his heart tightened into a knot. Ghost sighed.

“You…should definitely go see the psychologist on base. If you think it would help,” he strained. Your face fell and you nodded.

“Yeah,” you sighed. Ghost picked at his keys.

“C’mon, love. Let’s get you home,” he said. You gave him a small smile and followed him down the hall.

The walk there was rather quiet, save for a few comments here and there. Your hands brushed over one another as you rounded a corner. Ghost’s breath hitched, the simple touch sending a spark through him. You seemed to react just as viscerally, your eyes widening ever so slightly. Ghost’s hands twitched as the two of you continued through the exit doors.

The sun was low in the sky. Thunder rumbled in the distance as you walked to his black Jeep. He watched you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. The last glimpse of sunlight glowing across your face as you looked up at him with a gentle smile. Ghost hummed as he pulled out of the parking spot.

"Alright, where am I taking you, doc?" he asked. You rubbed your hands over your upper arms.

"It's straight out the gate for about ten minutes, then you'll turn right at a stoplight down Sanderson Street. There should be a row of townhouses where you'll take a left," you explained.

"Sounds easy enough," Ghost said. An awkward silence lingered between the two of you. You eyed the car radio.

"Mind if I turn something on?" you asked.

"Be my guest," Ghost replied. You grinned and turned on the radio. A classic rock sound blasted through the vehicle, making you jump before turning the volume knob down. You blinked and laughed.

"Sorry about that," Ghost chuckled. You shrugged.

"It's alright. I like to listen to loud music, too," you said. Ghost quirked a brow.

"Yeah? What kind?" he asked. You hummed to yourself.

"It's kind of hard to just pick one genre. I like all sorts of music, you know?" you smiled. Ghost nodded, his hands drumming on the wheel.

"I'm more of a classic rock kind of bloke," he said.

"Different strokes for different folks," you shrugged. Ghost cracked a small smile as you swayed your head along to the sound of a guitar.

"You like Ozzie?” he asked. You hummed again.

"Kind of. I'm more of a Mercury fan," you said. Ghost nodded, though apparently even his mask couldn’t hide his jubilation.

"What?" you chuckled. Ghost glanced back to the road.

"Nothin'; I'm just a fan of his, too," he said. Ghost slowed the car down, nodding at the guard before passing through the gate. He shifted gears and sped forward.

"Okay, then. What’s your favorite song by Queen?" you asked. Ghost scratched his chin quickly before resting it back in the stick.

"Anything but Bicycle," he mumbled. You laughed.

"Well, now I know what your least favorite song is," you chuckled. Ghost glanced over at you again, your bright smiling warming his heart. You patted your hands on your thighs as the song faded out. Another one came on, prompting you to wiggle a little in your seat as you sang along. Ghost didn't even notice the grin that was pulled ear to ear across his face.

"I kind of regret not going to that restaurant now," you suddenly pouted, ceasing your dance. Ghost pulled up to a stoplight and glanced over.

"Why's that?" he asked. You sighed, your hands folding over your lap.

"I don't know. Just something to keep me distracted from..." your eyes became glossy as you pressed your lips together. Ghost's hand gripped the stick as he felt another bolt of anger strike through him.

"Hey-it'll be okay," he tried to assure you. You nodded, though you avoided his gaze, opting to stare at the rolling clouds outside the window. Ghost sighed as he tapped his fingers against the steering wheel. “We could still go, if you wanted," he muttered. Your head spun around as blush filled your cheeks. You didn't look angry perse-just shocked. Ghost cleared his throat. "Sorry, if you're uncomfortable-"

"What about Friday?" you asked. Ghost blinked, his heart starting to thrum against his sternum.

"Friday?" he repeated. You nodded, the tears fading from your eyes.

"I-If you're busy though..." your voice trailed off as you wrung your hands together. Ghost shook his head.

"Friday's good with me. Besides, Soap will be there to keep us plenty distracted, yeah?" he replied. Your shoulders sank slightly as his response.

"Y-Yeah," you sighed as you leaned back in your seat. Green light spilled over his Jeep, prompting the lieutenant to shift gears again. The rest of the ride was a quiet one, the music humming lowly as a few raindrops began to bounce against the roof of Ghost's vehicle. Another crack of thunder erupted across the landscape.

“Just turn right up here,” you said as you pointed towards a collection of townhouses. Ghost nodded, biting the inside of his cheek as he turned his steering wheel. Something strange struck through his chest when he pulled up to your place. Several plants were sprinkled across your front lawn, a small table and two chairs resting on the small, concrete patio. Wind chimes danced in the breeze as you opened your car door. You paused when you went to unbuckle your seatbelt.

“(Y/N)? You alright?” Ghost asked. Your hands were clutching onto the seat belt as you licked your lips.

“I-I’m fine, just…” your voice trailed off as your fingers played with the buckle. Ghost tilted his head. You sighed and shut the door.

“Love?” Ghost said calmly. You bit your bottom lip.

“Simon,” you said as you turned to him.

“Yes?” he asked. You swallowed thickly as you shifted in your seat.

“Could you…maybe come inside?” you asked sheepishly. Ghost felt his heart flip. Time stood still for an eternity before he finally nodded.

+++

Another buzzer rang on the television, a woman leaping up in the air as she waved her arms around wildly. Ghost never quite understood how people could get that excited over something. You yawned, your head falling onto a nearby pillow.

"Why don't you get some sleep?" Ghost suggested. You shook your head.

"No-I still want to stay up for a little bit longer," you sighed, your half-lidded eyes glued to the screen. Ghost hummed and nodded. It's been a few hours since you invited him inside. Usually for him, this meant the start of a long, heated round of sex...only for him to slip out the door in the middle of the night. But there was something about you and him; quietly sitting and watching gameshows on your couch that just felt right. Your eyelids fluttered a few times before your head slumped onto his broad shoulder.

Ghost tensed and gazed down at you as you snuggled into his side. He couldn’t help but feel heat rising to his ears as your warm body was pressed flush against his. The lieutenant eventually relaxed as he felt your weight on him, resting across his side like a blanket. He carefully brushed some hair out of your face, the gameshow long forgotten. You began to mumble in your sleep as your brows furrowed.

“Simon,” you mewled. Ghost’s hand twitched. He blushed furiously as his mouth grew dry.

You were dreaming about him?

You sighed before nuzzling your face into his chest. His throat constricted as your lips caressed his collar bone.

“Fuckin' hell,” he thought. He tried to distract himself from the blood rushing to his cock by looking out your front window. The storm had calmed by now, only a few low rumbles of thunder coming every now and then. Something suddenly struck Ghost when he saw his Jeep parked next to your smaller car in your driveway. His mind began to wander: what would it be like to park next to your car every day? What if you shared a car? A house? A bed?

Ghost’s face flushed as he shook his head.

“No-just stop,” he told himself as he continued to run his digits through your hair. That kind of life could never happen for someone like him. What has he ever done to deserve a domestic life like that? He's saved lives, sure, but he's also taken them. He closed his eyes as he tried to push the peaceful fantasy deep down, hoping it would just suffocate inside of him. Ghost deserved a life of detachment-not whatever his heart was yearning for at the moment.

You suddenly whimpered and stirred in your sleep. Ghost's eyes shot open as you started to cry out.

“No! Please! Stop it, please!“ you sobbed, your body shaking as your face twisted in pure horror. Ghost's heart sank into his stomach as he watched the nightmare ravage you. He cautiously wrapped his arms around you, his lips close to your ear.

“It’s okay, love. You’re okay now,” he murmured softly. Your face began to relax as he stroked his hands over your arms. “You're safe,” Ghost cooed. You sighed as your breathing began to steady. Ghost nearly kissed the shell of your ear as you rested the side of your head against his shoulder. He patted your arms a few times before yawning. His own eyelids began to grow heavy, the warmth from your body lulling him closer to a deep sleep.

"It wouldn't hurt to rest for a few minutes," he thought. Ghost shut his eyes and drifted off into a quiet slumber.

+++

Ghost was woken up by a woman gasping. His eyelids fluttered open as he met your gaze. You were resting right on top of him, your chest pressed against his. His hands were panted on your lower back, his mask pulled up just enough to reveal his slightly scruffy face. Your cheeks were bright red as you slipped away from him.

“I-I’m sorry,” you stammered. He grunted as he felt your warmth dissipated from beneath his palms.

“It’s alright,” he yawned. Ghost looked over at the clock in the kitchen.

7:12 AM

The lieutenant was tempted to just flop back down on the couch and fall asleep. He rubbed the crust from his eyes before stretching. You stood in front of him, feet planted to the floor as you avoided looking at him.

"I should be the one to apologize, love. Didn't mean to crash at your place," he said as he pulled his balaclava back over his lower face.

"Oh, you're fine," you waved. Both of you remained in another bout of awkward silence. Your head perked up when you heard your phone alarm screeching. You cursed as you scrambled to find it. Ghost looked down, pulling it from a crack in the center cushion. You smiled sheepishly as you took it from him and turned it off.

"No rest for the weary," you sighed as you rubbed your eyes.

"Or the wicked," Ghost added. You chuckled softly, your hands falling to your sides.

"There's some cereal in the cabinet and milk in the fridge if you'd like some. Sorry, I haven't had the chance to go shopping this week," you admitted. Ghost's throat tightened. You tilted your head. "You okay?" you asked. He nodded as he rose to his feet.

"Yeah-just not used to-" he cut himself off. He rubbed the back of his neck while gazing down at his black socks. You offered him another smile before nodding slowly.

"I have to get ready for work. You can...you can stay, if you want. Or go-it's totally up to you," you offered as pink dusted your cheeks. Ghost lowered his hand.

"Thanks, love,” he replied. You nodded before slipping towards what Ghost assumed to be your room. He sighed and clenched his jaw.

Why can't things be easy? Why can't he spin you around and just kiss you on your sweet lips? That way, pulling his feelings out of his chest would be more like a dance and less like getting his teeth removed. He looked around your living room and kitchen. The place was comfortably quiet, though he felt himself yearning to check on you. He gazed down the hall, hoping that you'd pop back out. A few minutes passed before Ghost sighed. He muttered under his breath as he pulled his boots back over his large feet.

His chest felt a little more fragile and empty as he glanced back into your apartment one last time before heading out the door.

Ghost replayed the scene of you sleeping on top of him over and over again as he drove back to the base. The sun peeked over the horizon, shrouding the rolling hills in an soft ochre. He turned up the radio as he pulled his Jeep up to the stoplight. His right hand slipped into his pocket for a cigarette. Ghost paused when he felt a piece of crumpled paper brush against his fingertips. He pulled the parchment out and unfolded it.

His eyes widened as he read the number listed on the paper…your name clearly scribbled underneath it.

___

Thank you for reading! ❤️

@notthatfanfictionwriter @mrswhitethornbelikov

#call of duty #cod #call of duty modern warfare 2 #reader insert #ghost x reader #ghost cod #ghost call of duty #ghost x y/n #ghost x you #simon riley x y/n #simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #cod angst #cod fluff #task force 141 #call of duty fanfic #mw2 x reader #cod modern warfare

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mariaofdoranelle · 5 months

Text

Look at Us Now - ch. 21

I had to break the chapter in two for length reasons, so the scape room scene I posted is next chapter. But I added some smut with what I secretly hoped would happen in QoS to make up for it. Have fun!

Warnings: language, NSFW, hypoglycemia

Words: 3,7k

“And what’s the only bird you can’t eat?” Rowan’s voice boomed over the feeble sounds of the nature surrounding him.

“Monkey!” One of his students replied, the one who looked paler than usual even under the night sky. Too many years working here made it easy to tell who could faint soon, so Rowan made a mental note to keep an eye on this one if he didn’t ask to go to the ambulance stationed nearby. The instructors were in a rotation of sorts, but these kids have been here for more than thirty hours nonstop. It’d be odd if someone didn’t faint.

Before he could reply, Cairn, the other instructor, emptied the kid’s water bottle on his face, consequently leaving him thirsty for the next few hours. Not exactly what Rowan would do to someone who’s showing signs of hypoglycemia.

In his line of work, you’d think it’s hard to tell if the instructor is teaching how to survive in harsh conditions, or if he just enjoys being cruel. It’s not. And from Cairn’s reputation, Rowan might even think he was holding back.

“Tell me, what’s the only bird you can eat?” He repeated himself, wanting to see if someone wasn’t tired enough to confuse birds with mammals.

“P-penguin.” Nothing more than a mutter.

“A what?” Rowan shouted. “I can’t hear you with all these leaves ruffling.”

“A PENGUIN,” multiple people answered this time.

“Finally! Now twenty on the floor. Thirty for Stutter Boy.”

About five push-ups in, the kid he was keeping an eye on fell on the grass. Cairn was on his way towards him when Rowan stopped him.

“Lieutenant!” He called, trotting his way. “Can you prepare the sounds? I’ve got this one.”

The next class would be about every sound they needed to know—nature, gunshots, spotting an enemy. Rowan usually liked teaching this one, but he didn’t trust Cairn with the babysitting part of the job.

Maybe Fenrys and Lorcan were right. Maybe Rowan did go soft after Maisie.

“Hey, dickhead! Are you with me?” He kneeled by the side of the collapsed kid, bending down a little to see his face.

He blinked and moved to get up. Way too feeble, way too slow. Rowan joisted him up and draped one of his arms across his shoulder.

When he realized they were going away from the class and towards the ambulance, the boy said, “I’m alright, sir, but thanks.”

“It wasn’t a question.” Rowan rolled his eyes, never loosening his grip. While some kids came up with every excuse under the sun to take a break, some others refused to leave the training field even when their bodies were begging to. “You wanna get back there? You’ll faint before you even finish the push-ups. Fucking genius—are you sure you went to college?”

He snickered a yes, sir and let Rowan lead him to the area where the ambulance was stationed.

The Doranelle Air Force’s property is far more extensive than what they actually use, which means that the training facility disposes of a small woodsy area that resembles the forest well enough to hold some classes. Rowan might be working in the middle of the night, but Lorcan wouldn’t send him to a boot camp in the middle of nowhere, he wasn’t that much of a jackass.

Being friends with the boss never gave him any special treatment, though. What lets him get away with most night classes is his high rank. As much as Rowan loved teaching amidst nature and showing how to navigate in such conditions, he’d rather spend the evening with his little girl. And now Aelin too, the reminder left a fluttery feeling in his stomach.

“Thank you, sir.” The boy disentangled himself from his grip when the ambulance became visible.

Rowan cocked an eyebrow at the kid. They usually tried to look good for him after the doctor, not the other way around. “Are you feeling better all of a sudden?”

“I’m trying, sir.” He swayed while trying to stand up, but still managed a lazy, shameless grin only a boy in his early twenties could muster. “The guys said there’s a different doctor in the ambulance today. And that she’s extra hot.”

“Oh, did they?” Rowan’s muscles went rigid, his head tilted while he glared at the recruit. “I was gonna give you a break, but if you’re not too tired to hound the doctor, maybe you should go for a run.”

“W-what?” The newbie’s eyes went wide with his instructor’s sudden change of demeanor, his mouth hanging open.

“You’re waiting for dicks to fall outta the sky? RUN!”

And run he did, in a zigzag and swaying more than anything, but the boy ran for his life. His steps over the humid grass were the only sound, other than the insects buzzing and trees creaking in the wind, which was why Aelin jumping from the ambulance was so clear.

She ran towards the recruit instead of Rowan, and the boy only stopped running when Rowan gave him permission to, as he should. He granted it immediately, though, since he didn’t want one of Aelin’s lectures about being too hard on the trainees.

Despite her offers to help, the kid managed to stumble to the ambulance on his own. The reminder of why he did it, that he didn’t want to ‘look bad’ in front of Aelin, sent his blood boiling—

“Captain Whitethorn,” she chastised with her disappointed mom voice, then lowered it so no one would hear her talk like this with someone who outranks her, “I am so angry at you right now. There’s a good chance this kid—my patient—has low blood sugar, and you send him running alone at night? Gods!” She threw her arms up and walked away from him, to the ambulance.

It was all right.

Ten minutes later, he had her pressed against the ambulance, one arm caging her in on the side that didn’t face the training field.

“And how’s the class?” she asked, her hand on his chest.

A fine was about to slip from his lips when he remembered the boys were commenting on Aelin. Hell, maybe even a girl or two. Then, Rowan remembered he was going to kill all of them. “You’re about to get a lot more patients.”

Snorting, she slapped his chest, but her hand went back to its initial position on it. It was just then that Rowan noticed Aelin’s idle fingers playing with the name tape on his uniform.

He gave it a pointed look. “You like it?”

She tilted her head, a silent way to tell she wasn’t following.

“I can make that happen, if you wanna wear a ‘Whitethorn’ in your uniform too.”

Aelin didn’t say anything, just wore a smile too big for her face, and damn him if he didn’t feel that smile everywhere. His heart, his stomach, his cock. Everywhere.

Rowan was using every willpower he had to not kiss her right now.

It was supposed to be a surprise, her popping up in his class like this. Manning an ambulance in the middle of the night to aid a bunch of newbies isn’t exactly a desirable task for the medical personnel, it was easy for Aelin to assume this for one night. And her plans to surprise him here were going perfectly well, until Lorcan found out and called him to his office.

Apparently, Rowan has a history of improper sexual conduct with Aelin at work that sends his boss on edge whenever she’s near him.

He might not be able to touch her now, but Lorcan didn’t say anything about flirting with her.

“You came in the ambulance, right? That means you left your car at home?”

“I drove to the hospital, then the sergeant drove me here. Why?”

“Because…” Rowan trailed a finger on the collar of her uniform. “You won’t need a car after this, when I take you home. Or tomorrow, when I take you out.”

Because working until the early hours meant they were dismissed from work tomorrow, and Maisie was taken care of with Sellene until they had to pick her up from school. As much as he loved having family time, Rowan would be damned if he let a child-free day go by.

Aelin’s breath hitched, her eyes darkening. “I thought you’d want to stay in.”

“I always want to stay in with you.” Rowan licked his lips, hers were so fucking close. He felt this pull, as if Aelin had tied an invisible lasso around him, luring him further each second his eyes were on her. “But I haven’t taken you out yet, and I really want to do that too.”

“Oh my God, you asshole,” Aelin breathed, her little bubble of desire popped. “You have never, ever, taken me out on a proper date.” The gape in her mouth turned into a cackle, but she still swatted his arm. “You’ve fucked me in every single posi—“

“I know.”

“We have a five-year-old together, Rowan.” Aelin’s tone was full of mock-indignation, but he didn’t feel as playful as she did right now.

“I know,” he repeated with a tight chest. When Rowan said he hadn’t taken Aelin out yet, he didn’t realize he hadn’t ever done that. They’ve gone out, yes, but never as a proper date. And this was one more thing to his ever-growing list of things he fucked up by not doing. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise,” he said, with a deeper meaning than what he let on.

Aelin had a bright grin on, clueless to the guilt weighing on the back of his mind. “You better.”

˜˜

They arrived at his house at dawn, when another ambulance and team of instructors took over the same trainees.

He replayed every moment with Aelin on the way home, while she dozed on the passenger side. He stayed at the ambulance with “the trainees” (i.e., Aelin) longer than usual, but not enough Cairn could make a reasonable complaint. And Sergeant Allsbrook, the driver, definitely saw them flirting by the side of that ambulance, but Rowan’s touches were barely bordering the line between proper and not.

He’s not the type to worry about such things, but he couldn’t help it this time.

The trip through memory lane Lorcan dragged him to today wasn’t pleasant, and it weighed on his mind. Theirs is just one of the many sex scandals inside the Air Force—they happen every time, regardless of sexuality, age or rank. It never made anyone forget about his, though.

Rowan never minded it. It was such a scandal back then, the drill instructor’s suicidal affair with the Brigadier’s niece that led to imprisonment and a baby. Still, he wore the whispers surrounding him like an insignia on his uniform because he’d never feel ashamed of his own family.

But being a female officer, Rowan knows what happened five years ago impacted Aelin’s reputation differently than his.

She always played it cool and said she didn’t care, and he believed her, but still—

He banged his head against the steering wheel with a low groan, which made the car horn despite his efforts to keep it quiet.

Aelin jumped on her seat with the honk, her hand flying to her chest as she was brutally woken from her nap.

“I’m sorry.” Rowan kissed her cheek, his self-reproach making his throat even thicker because he was planning to carry her to bed.

She lazily shook her head and said, “S’alright. The drive’s over anyway.” Aelin pulled his lips to hers, but before he could deepen the kiss, she pulled away with a wrinkled nose.

“You stink.”

Rowan tried to keep a straight face at the sight of her mock-disgust and sleepy eyes, but couldn’t contain a snort.

“It’s almost as if I was training forty people in the mud,” he said, releasing her only to flick her nose.

“I’m only hearing excuses.” She undid her seatbelt and squinted her eyes at him. “What I want to hear is the shower running, or…”

“Or?” He raised an eyebrow, not bothering to hide his smirk.

Aelin crossed her arms. “You don’t even even want to hear it, Officer.”

Unable to restrain himself, Rowan smacked another kiss on her—this one she didn’t protest—and ran to the shower.

If Aelin wasn’t used to his state after work, it’s because he usually showers there, before coming home. But she was with him today, and she looked so tired after their shift Rowan just wanted to take her home with him.

In the bathroom, he was even faster than usual. If military training made his showers quick, Aelin waiting for him in his bedroom was even more effective.

Not quick enough, given the way she knocked on the door.

“I’m almost done!” Rowan called, but it didn’t stop Aelin from opening it.

“Pity,” she said by the threshold, with her head tilted and body fully naked. “I was going to join you.”

His mind short-circuited, like it always did whenever Aelin took her clothes off.

Her smirk grew, like it always did whenever Rowan looked dumbstruck because of her.

“I can’t believe you’re letting a tub this big go unused,” she said while making her way to him.

Rowan didn’t have the heart to tell her he couldn’t even remember the last time he laid in that bathtub. It just came with the house.

Still, nothing was keeping Aelin from her tub bath. Not even the expired bath bombs she found in the back of his cabinet.

“You have to admit how nice it is,” she said after everything was ready and they were tangled together in it.

Rowan would never say it out loud and ruin the experience for her, but the only thing about this bath that undeniably appealed to him was the naked lady on his lap.

She sat straighter, looking around with a frown. “Where’s the body wash?”

Without a comment, Rowan outstretched his arm and grabbed it for her. He wouldn’t point it out and be a jerk, but it was the only bottle there.

“Not the shampoo.” She pointed at the bun that kept her hair dry. “The body wash.”

“That’s it.” Gods, he felt like such an ass to point out the obvious. Felt like… menlucidate? Mensplain? Elide taught it to Lorcan and Lorcan taught it to him. Rowan watched out for it ever since, and he wouldn’t stay on the subject if Aelin weren’t the one pressing on it. He pointed at the label. “It’s for the head… and shoulders. It’s both.” His finger trailed down to the description. “It’s 7 in 1.”

Aelin blinked one, three, too many times. Her mouth opened. And closed. When her chest and shoulders began to tremble, she clamped her mouth shut, biting the inside of her lip. But then she opened her mouth to speak, and it was like opening a dam. Her laughter boomed inside his bathroom, its sound ricocheting on the dull tiles as Rowan soaked it up into his every pore. She leaned into him after a moment, and he supported Aelin’s shaking body as he felt her wheeze against his neck.

He squeezed her waist and murmured, “What was that about?”

With no small amount of amusement, Aelin gave him a long explanation on why his soap not only didn’t work as a body wash, but was actually bad for the skin. She even bothered to read all the seven functions in tiny letters and, indeed, all of them were related to the hair and scalp.

“You’re telling me I bought a 7 in 1 soap… and not one of the seven functions is soap?”

Aelin shook her head and planted a kiss on his cheek. “You silly Buzzard.”

She put a little product on her hand, but Rowan stopped her with a hand to her wrist. “I thought it was bad for your skin?”

He could still find something else for her, even if it were Maisie’s baby soap. Rowan himself might be lacking in this department, but he followed Aelin’s every rule on how to take care of their daughter’s skin and hair.

After gently pulling her wrists free, she scrubbed her arms and shoulders. “Just this once won’t hurt.”

“Alright, then.” He dropped some shampoo on his palms as well, softly rubbing it over Aelin’s sides and tugging her closer with both hands on her ass.

With both arms loose around his shoulders, she gave him a lazy kiss, her tongue teasing his with slow strokes that didn’t match the pace of his heartbeat.

He broke the kiss. “Which soap do you like?”

“Don’t worry about me.”

Oh, but he would. Rowan frowned.

Her head tilted as she chuckled. “I mean it. I can bring one for myself.”

Well, that wasn’t an option. If anything, he could just go to one of the frilly shops at the mall he always mocked and get some lavender somethings for when she’s here.

Things with Aelin had been so easy lately, it was in moments like this that Rowan got the painful reminder that this was a trial test of sorts. And if she decided she’s actually better off without him, he just hoped to survive the crash. And in the meantime he’d be the most reliable, supportive partner because Aelin might think he deserves this second chance, but Rowan has yet to believe it himself.

“Hey.” She smoothed the crease between his eyebrows with her thumb. “Where’d you go?”

Rowan swallowed, his eyes fixed on her. “I love you.”

She leaned closer, stroking his cheek with a smile. “I love you too.”

He didn’t object as she dumped some of the shampoo into his short hair. Rowan closed his eyes as she scrubbed his scalp, melting away the tension in his shoulders. He didn’t even fight the goosebumps, just surrendered to Aelin’s fingers.

“You’re no better than a house cat,” she said, massaging his head. He let out a low noise in his throat that might very well have been a purr.

She pushed down on his shoulders, beckoning him to dunk under the water. When Rowan surfaced, he sat down straighter and pulled her for a kiss.

Aelin was soft and sweet as she opened her mouth to let him in, melting into his embrace. But then the mood shifted, her kiss as hungry as the fingers that traveled down his torso.

“I thought…” Rowan had to restart his brain as she shifted on his lap, teasing his cock. “You’re not tired?”

They hadn’t slept at all in the last 24 hours, so he wasn’t expecting—

“A quickie?” His mouth on her neck made her whimper, her voice faltering before she asked, “Please?”

“So polite,” he murmured and moved down to her wet breasts, giving them attention with either his mouth or hands, making Aelin quiver under his touch.

Since they were alone in the house, her loud moan when his mouth closed around her nipple was a small luxury for both of them. Aelin for letting loose, Rowan for what those sounds evoked in him.

He tangled his fingers in her hair to bring her mouth to his, and she didn’t protest at his damp fingers on her safely dry hair. Rowan groped the outline of her frame until his hand landed on the apex between her thighs, his fingers finding their way in her body blindly.

However, Aelin stopped him, increasing the distance between their hips as she broke their kiss, maintaining her face a breath away from his.

She grabbed his cock, handling it with such certainty one might think she was holding her favorite sex toy. Aelin gave it one, two pumps under water before guiding his tip to her entrance.

When she was about to sink down on him, she froze.

“Um.” Aelin cleared her throat, giving their hips a pointed look. “Do you mind if I…?”

“You don’t have to ask, baby,” Was all the warning Rowan gave before snapping his hips up, water sloshing out of the bathtub while she held onto him.

Aelin’s moan was long and the most delicious sound to hear, and she only needed a moment to adjust before riding him like a dream.

She held on tight to him, the roll of her hips and consequent whimpers were intoxicating, and Rowan could very easily lose his mind with the pressure of her walls squeezing his cock in. The water from the bath was already cold, but it didn’t stop the heat spreading under his skin, or the tension coiling in his already taut muscles.

Not used to the passive role Aelin put him in, Rowan held on to the side of the tub and thrust from underneath her, making her cry out from the added pressure.

“Fuck,” she panted, “Rowan—”

He turned her face to his by the roots of her hair. “Say my name again.”

A troublesome glint flickered in her eyes. “Fuck me like that again.”

And that he did, pounding his hips up with abandon while she took him with an arched back like the good girl she was. The sight of it alone was maddening. Water sloshing everywhere from Aelin’s hungry rhythm, her breasts bouncing as she did it, and her face contorted with pleasure.

Aelin’s hand disappeared underwater, between their hips, around the time Rowan noticed his own building pleasure was becoming too much. He swatted her hand away and replaced it with his own, rubbing her clit with slow circles.

He didn’t stop when Aelin’s hips stuttered, nor when her walls spasmed around him. Rowan could barely comprehend the strangled noises she let out before falling apart on top of him, because he was the one being pushed over the edge now. His tension snapping was the last warning he got before emptying himself inside of Aelin, and his body dissolved into pleasure while he pulled her for a hug.

“We’ve been in this tub for so long, I’m probably just a big wrinkle by now.” She held up one hand to make her point.

Rowan chuckled, took that hand and kissed each wrinkled fingertip. “We should go to bed.”

“I hope you didn’t plan a brunch date. I think I’ll be dead by brunch time,” Aelin said while detangling herself from him, reaching for her towel.

Rowan followed her, a funny feeling in his stomach while he watched her get ready to bed. With him. “We can do anything you want.”

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#rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #aelin ashryver galathynius #throne of glass #rowaelin fanfiction #rowan x aelin #look at us now #aelin x rowan #rowaelin fanfic #throne of glass fanfic

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littlebitsmile · 5 months

Text

in flames [C.L.] | Chapter III

Welcome back! This took me a bit longer than usual, but it's still Sunday, so I'm glad you decided to join me (: Hope you all had a nice first week of 2024 - only 55 more days until we see our munchkins driving in circles again - hope this makes the wait a bit shorter.

As always, have fun (:

story: in flames driver: Charles Leclerc [C.L.] trope: #haterstolovers summary: Always working three times as hard as everyone else, Emma does not intend to blow her chance of driving among the best of the best in her very first season in Formula 1. Concentrating on first and foremost getting ahead of her brother, she does not even notice that there are some people even in her own team who think she does not deserve this spot and would rather see her fail. And one driver in particular seems to have a need of always reminding her of that.

────ʚ C H A P T E R III ɞ────

Music booms from the headphones in my ear, my feet float over the treadmill, drops of sweat run down the sides of my face. Next to me, all I can hear is Max's heavy breathing and the occasional quiet "f*ck" as another intensive interval approaches. My calves gave up the ghost ten minutes ago and have been cramping ever since, but my pride won't let me stop.

I actually wanted to squeeze in an extra training session this morning before Max woke up and wanted to hang out and do some off-season stuff, but unfortunately, he was already at the coffee machine when I decided to roll out of bed. He then followed me into the fitness room of his apartment without any comment.

He has been kind enough to let me stay with him, Kelly, and Penelope for a few years now so that I can avoid living with our parents and even worse, letting them decide what happens next with my accommodation situation. As the eldest son, he has probably had his experiences and learned his lessons, always being the one to take the blows, and although he always pretends to give me a hard time, I'm sure that deep down he doesn't want me to go through the same hell he did. The fact that I can never come close to his golden boy in our father's eyes anyway is a different story.

I breathe heavily but try to concentrate on the view. Monaco's harbor landscape is one of the most beautiful I have ever experienced. A little too much lifestyle of the rich and famous for my liking, but Max loved it here right from the start, when we first visited a few years ago. Maybe because he can live right next to the racetrack, waking up every morning and sipping his breakfast coffee with his brain already imagining those cars on the streets right in front of him.

"You're quiet," he presses out between his lips at some point. I don't look at him but concentrate on a small yacht that is about to leave the outer jetties. He gets a kick out of seeing me suffer, I’m sure of it. If I don’t let myself get distracted by the pain in my legs, I can do a few more minutes on this torture device.

"I'm dying," I reply, trying not to fall down at the same time. My diaphragm starts to painfully remind me that I'm not my 26-year-old racing brother, who has been doing this for years and years, never losing sight of his goals, exceeding his limits.

He reduces the speed on his treadmill and starts to jog slowly before continuing: "When are you flying to England? For simulator runs and so on?"

I'm still running at the same pace as before. I try to show February 15 with my hands, holding all of my ten fingers up, then five and the peace sign as a two, but I'm not sure if he immediately understands what I mean.

In the time between the end of the season and the first pre-season tests, the world stands still in my head. I enjoy visiting friends for once and not feeling bad when I see photos in our group chats of everyone getting together and me missing. Max, on the other hand, never leaves his zone - his racing set up in his study glows for hours every day. When he's not training, eating, or sleeping, he lives and breathes motorsport, whether it’s on or off track. Maybe that's why he's such an exceptional talent. Or maybe he is just stupid, for not living his life during his prime time and will fall into a pit of self-despair when he’s 40.

"Excited?" he interrupts my thoughts. I can’t remember what we were talking about, and he notices. “For the UK, I mean? Rain and cloudy weather?”

I nod. My lungs are burning, and I don't know who exactly I'm trying to prove something to. I keep running, my thighs are starting to burn like hell. A few of my fingertips go numb, and my head starts to feel dizzy. There are a few black dots here and there, but it isn’t the first time something like this happens and it won’t be the last.

"What number are you going to start with?" Max asks. I shrug my shoulders, not wanting to give too much away about whether I'll keep my number from Formula 2 or change it. Mostly because I haven’t thought about it and I would love to have a number with a deeper meaning.

"You could take 69."

When he says this, I almost stumble on the treadmill. I hold on left and right and hop onto the side edges as the mechanical noise belt continues to run beneath me. Although everything inside me hurts like hell after the last hour and a half of running, I must laugh out loud. Max grins sheepishly at me. Sometimes I am not sure who of us is the older sibling.

"I think that would be more your thing, don't you?" Out of breath, I put my hands on my hips and lean my upper body against the treadmill display. I try to calm my heartbeat, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth.

"I've already got the 1; that's enough for me..."

“You won’t have it forever, though," I interrupt him before he falls into another monologue of self-congratulation. I wiggle my eyebrows and grin mischievously at him. Then I stick my tongue out at him, and he rolls his eyes before hitting me on the shoulder with his fist.

"The only one I'm afraid of is you,” he admits openly. I look at him in disbelief. Where has this recognition suddenly come from? I almost choke on the sip of water I’m taking. “But you're in the wrong car anyway, so at least I don't have much to fear this season.”

"I don't need your false assumptions, Max. We've never lied to each other." I look into the distance, back to the harbor. I wonder what my life would be like if I wasn't the person I am.

"I'm not lying, I promise. I'm more afraid that this team will take you down with them."

"Aston Martin won't drag me into the abyss. They're giving me a fair chance."

"You would have had a fair chance with me and Red Bull."

"Fair, Max? Really? As number two? How well did that turn out with the last team partners? Lewis and Nico? Lewis and Valtteri? You and pretty much everyone who came after Sebastian? The only off-track friends who were in the same team and still get on well are Carlos and Lando. I don't want that for us." Now I turn to him. A furrow forms between his eyebrows, and he looks down at the ground. He knows I am right, and I think that causes him greater pain than what I just said about us not being able to be proper teammates.

"If you don't perform at Aston Martin, if you even get the chance to show what you are capable of in that sh*tbox of a car, then no other team will take you. There is only one chance to be part of this grid, and I just can’t believe you would rather not drive at all than have me as your team partner?" He is frustrated, I can feel it in his voice. So I try to soften my voice and understand him from his point of view.

"Max, I love you; I really do. You're the coolest brother in the world, and I'm not saying that because I get to live in your cool penthouse in the middle of Monaco.” There is a chuckle, and I know he wants to reassure me that he loves to have me here with him. But before he can speak another word, I continue. “But I've been compared to you my whole life and I will continue to be. This hasn’t been easy, for any of us. But for a change, I can decide for myself whether to confront it or if I just leave my phone off and not read the news, because no one in my own team will compare me to you." The conversation has taken on a serious tone, but I know he understands what I mean.

"I get it. I still would have liked you to be the wing woman. Pretty sure we’d be great. With you keeping all those madmen away from me." He winks. Then he looks straight ahead towards the panoramic window. It's quiet between us for a while.

I think back to his first victory with Red Bull. How he threw himself into the arms of his team afterward, so proud and so full of emotion, as if someone was finally accepting him for who he is, no ifs, ands, or buts. He doesn't talk much about his relationship with Christian Horner, but I'm 90% sure that Christian is in many ways the father figure for Max that our father could never be for him. How he has grown with this team and gone from a really misunderstood driver to a three-time world champion. He wouldn't leave Red Bull until they cut him out from inside with a digger and chainsaw and shipped him to the other side of the world. He lives, breathes, and burns for this sport and for the people in his immediate surroundings, a quality that I greatly admire in him and that not everyone is able to appreciate.

"If you could be someone else or do something else, what would it be?" The question catches him off guard. He is confused for a moment, then looks thoughtful and shakes his head.

"I don't think I want to be – can be - anywhere else. This is where I belong."

I believe him. But suddenly I'm not so sure if my answer would be the same.

As the plane lands in London, I grab my backpack, put on my cap, and hide my face a little better. I'm almost certain that some paparazzi is waiting for me in the arrivals hall because I seem to be the only one from the F1 paddock not traveling by a private jet. I wonder why.

I quickly get through security and baggage claim, so it feels like no more than 30 minutes before I step through the airport doors and out into rainy UK weather. To my right, an elderly gentleman with a sign saying "Emma V." walks towards me and takes my luggage. I thank him, get in the car, and then we make our way to the Aston Martin headquarters. I fall asleep unplanned and only wake up when we arrive.

I am overwhelmed by the polished floors, the glass structures of the building, how everything looks as if this is not the headquarters of a Formula 1 team but of Iron Man and the Avengers.

Mike Krack, the team principal, comes to meet me, shakes my hand, and welcomes me to the hallowed halls. I'm then given a tour, starting with the departments I'm least interested in, such as budget and logistics. I know these people are as important as anyone else, but I am a driver, so the technical departments will be my home base.

"But you're certainly not here to look at the view. You want to go to the simulators, right?" Mike states correctly at some point. I nod vigorously. "Then that's our next destination."

And no matter what I was expecting, it wasn’t that. As I step into a room with a screen as big as the panoramic view back at Max’s apartment, I immediately want to leap into the seat in front of it. I wait for a nod of approval from Mike before I hop into it and feel the leather beneath my hands and notice the smell of something new. I shriek. If this is a dream, I never want to wake up. And before someone can stop me, I’m already turning the machine on and getting ready to drive my first laps in the simulator.

────ʚ [Masterlist] [Chapter II] [Chapter IV] ɞ────

#f1 #f1 fanfic #formula 1 #charles leclerc #slow burn #f1 imagine #haters to lovers

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cheesy09 · 7 months

Text

[CN] Kiro's Absolute Match Mind's Quest (Part 1)

🌸 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date that hasn't been released on the EN server yet! 🌸

Note: This date explores some very suggestive themes, so if you do not meet the game's required 16+ age rating, I'd suggest to avoid reading this date.

[CHAPTER 1]

MC: There isn't much time left to prepare for the this issue of "Youth Cheerleaders". Willow, tomorrow, please hurry up and follow up on the progress of the costumes and venue layout.

Willow: Don't worry, boss. According to the current schedule, we'll definitely be able to make it in time!

MC: That's great... does anyone else have anything to report?

Anna: I have one here.

Anna: Next month, Loveland City's Culture and Sports Bureau is planning on hosting a celebrity charity baseball game. The other party's taken a fancy to our company's publicity abilities and planned to talk to us.

Anna: However, their guests have not yet been completely finalized. Among those currently confirmed to be participating is this year's MLB super rookie Carol.

MC: Carol...

I vaguely felt that I had heard this name just recently, but with how hectic my work has been, my thoughts were all over the place.

Kiki: Carol... Isn't he that he that star player that Xiao Zheng's supposed to be interviewing today?

MC: Oh, yes! I almost forgot, Carol happened to be in Loveland City these two days.

If it hadn't been for the tight workload for "Youth Cheerleaders", I would've been happy to conduct such an interview. But if there was going to be a baseball game next month, there would definitely be more opportunities for contact.

The remaining work got sorted out, one after another. After the meeting, I sent a text to Xiao Zheng and asked him about the situation of the interview there.

After a while, Xiao Zheng replied back.

Xiao Zheng: The interview went very well! And boss, guess who I ran into backstage?

A group photo popped up before my eyes.

Xiao Zheng's black hair, Carol's platinum-blonde hair, and was the blonde-haired person with a smile on their face Kiro?!

When did Kiro get there?

While I was pondering over it, a message popped up on the pinned chat and as soon as I opened it, a familiar bright voice rang out.

Kiro: MC, you've seen that group photo, right? Hehe, I plan to introduce you to a new friend today. Come here when you're done!

I looked at the address he sent, which was an indoor baseball stadium in Loveland City, and then contacted him for a photo...

I sent him a little rabbit-like emoji, picked up my bag and quickly walked out the door.

Perhaps it was because the stadium was reserved, but the baseball arena was empty, and I spotted the most dazzling figure at a glance.

He held a bat in both hands, his eyes fixed on the ball machine and did not notice my arrival.

Boom!

I could barely see how Kiro swung his bat, and the ejected baseball had already been hit firmly by him into the scoring area.

MC: That's amazing!

Kiro caught onto the compliment I blurted out and he immediately turned his head.

Kiro: MC? Why did you come here so fast?

The next second, he put down the bat and walked towards me.

I was about to throw myself into his arms, but he suddenly stopped and raised his hands.

Kiro: Wait a moment.

MC: Eh?

Kiro: ...Hmm... Okay, okay...

He relaxed slightly, then stretched out his hand to hug me back, placing a light kiss on the tip of my nose.

Kiro: I thought it would take at least half an hour for you to get here. I'd planned on showering right after my workout to welcome you refreshed.

MC: Pfft, are you still afraid that I'd dislike you for smelling like sweat?

Kiro hummed twice in acquiescence.

MC: Why would I dislike it? I want to smell you more!

My grin grew wider, so I just hugged him and nuzzled against him a few more times.

MC: By the way, where's the new friend you wanted to introduce to me?

Kiro: He went out to take a call. Didn't you meet him at the door?

MC: No, I didn't see anyone else the entire way... Is it Carol?

Kiro: Mm, that's him.

Kiro: He was a teammate of my high school baseball team. He rarely comes to Loveland City, so we got in touch.

MC: Wow! Your former school teammate is now in the MLB! Was he that good before?

Kiro: Just so-so. Not better than me, anyway.

Kiro wrinkled his nose, his expression so proud and arrogant that I couldn't help but kiss him as well.

MC: I know. You are the Ace of your school team!

??: No no no, he is not.

??: The Ace of our school team was Raymond. Now he works overtime everyday on Wall Street and he's even gone bald.

A voice with a foreign accent interrupted from the side. I looked back and saw a young man with platinum hair holding a bag of cornflakes, munching on them as he looked at us with interest.

It was Carol.

[CHAPTER 2]

We didn't know when this guy had reached next to us. We both quickly let go of our hands, and Kiro coughed twice in embarrassment.

Carol: Why don't you continue holding each other? Don't mind me, I'll just enjoy watching.

Kiro: .....

Kiro: Can you please stop sneaking up on people all the time?

Carol: Little did I know that just when I'd decided to go to the convenience store to buy some cornflakes, a beautiful woman would show up at the venue.

Carol patted his hands on his pants and stretched them towards me.

Carol: Hello, I'm Carol, an old classmate of Kiro's.

MC: Hello, I'm MC, Kiro's...

Carol: It's what you Chinese people call 'Airen', 'Na Kouzi', 'Duixiang' (lover, fiancée/wife, object of one's affection). I get it.

Carol spoke fluent Chinese and quickly took over my words, winking at me teasingly.

MC: .....

Kiro: .....

I glanced at Kiro. He understood what I was getting at and smiled helplessly at me.

Kiro: He's mother's Chinese, so he speaks Chinese fluently. As for your other doubt... well, he's been this arrogant ever since high school.

Carol: Wow, the two of you could actually communicate so much with just one look. I've only seen that kind of thing is spy movies!

Carol: Boohoo, Kiro, it seems that I'm no longer your soulmate!

Kiro: You've never been my soulmate, okay?

For the first time on Kiro's face, I saw the feelings of "lost", "tired" and "when will this conversation end?". There were so many expressions combined together on that handsome face that if he had a tail right now, it would've been wagging around impatiently.

MC: Pfft...

I suppressed my laughter and quietly poked Kiro with my hand, but he keenly grabbed my finger.

However, after such banter and teasing, the atmosphere between them had relaxed a lot.

Carol: By the way, Kiro, have you thought about what I said before?

Kiro: The charity baseball game?

Kiro: It's possible to make place in my schedule to participate, but I haven't played a game in a long time, and I'm afraid it'll take too long to practice.

Carol: What's there to practice? Just play the way you played at the Dodger Stadium in your sophomore year of high school.

Kiro: Dodger...

Kiro recalled the match and shook his head.

Kiro: Didn't I lose that game? I don't even remember what I was playing at the time.

Carol: How could you not remember?

Carol's eyes widened in surprise and he gestured excitedly.

Carol: I was on first base, you were the batter, and they'd already thrown two strikes. One more pitch and we'd be struck out. As a result, you hit a perfect outfield ball, allowing me to safely return to home base!

Carol: Yes, we lost that game in the end and were eliminated...

Carol: But your most critical point allowed us to go into overtime. That's why I still remember it to this day!

Carol's eyes were shining while narrating this to us, as if he had returned to that arena again.

Kiro probably hadn't been expecting a failed game to be so deeply remembered. His lips twitched and then curled upwards.

Kiro: Well, now that you've said it, I remember.

Kiro: But I'm not sure I can still hit such a perfect shot now.

Carol: Why don't you try then?

Carol put down his bag of snacks, picked up a bat from the side, and pointed at the scoreboard.

Carol: Let me re-experience the majesty of "California's Little Devil"?

Kiro: Sure.

Kiro nodded, but raised both of our hands to Carol.

Kiro: My girlfriend is also going to participate.

After going to the venue to rent a set of equipment, I stood in front of the ball machine. As a novice with no clue of the basics, I was worried about trying to do everything in front of two super baseball masters.

MC: Is it difficult to get started with this?

MC: I remember the last time I went to Hitachi High School to watch you play, I spent a long time looking up the rules for baseball, and ended up getting dizzy...

Kiro: No, those rules are only required on the playing field.

Kiro: For now, you just need to swing the bat and hit the ball to win. Easy, right?

Kiro: Don't worry, I've slowed down the speed of the ball server so you can get familiar with it first.

MC: So, what about the batting posture? What are the standards?

Kiro: No, that will happen later. Now, I just want you to join in and have fun. Being able to be happy is the basis for getting started with something, right?

Kiro winked at me, his words calming my emotions. I nodded at him, raised my bat and aimed at the server.

Boom--

Without giving me any time to react, the white ball slipped away from my stick.

MC: .....

Kiro: Hahaha, lower your arms a little, and there's no need for you to face the tee hole, 'cause the trajectory of the ball's a parabola.

MC: Okay!

Boom--

Kiro: Mastering the position in just one shot is awesome! You can swing the bat a little earlier for the next ball, and I guarantee you will hit it!

MC: Okay!

Boom.

Under Kiro's guidance I hit the ball on my third shot.

Although I didn't have much strength that the ball just landed softly on the grounds, and even the score didn't pop up on the scoreboard, it was enough to make me cheer.

MC: Kiro, look, look, look, I hit it!!

Kiro: I saw it. That's great. MC really is a little genius! Then, our next goal is to score a point!

MC: Gogogo!

With Kiro's unremitting praise, I seemed to really feel the joy of playing baseball.

Or it could be said that, not limiting to any sports, as long as he was participating in anything, I would always feel twice as happy.

I looked at the five points I finally got on the scoreboard with satisfaction and waved my hand towards Kiro.

MC: I want to practice by myself again. You can go and play too.

I lowered my voice and winked while suppressing my laughter.

Carol, who was peeking at us not far away, saw someone looking at him. He immediately straightened his neck, turned around and pretentiously swung the bag.

MC: ...I suspect that if you don't compete with Carol, he'll be so sore that his teeth will break.

Kiro also glanced at Carol and raised the corners of his mouth proudly.

Kiro: Who told us before that he enjoyed seeing us show affection? Well, of course we have to blind him more!

Having said that, Kiro still carried the bat and went to Carol's side.

The other party stopped looking at the fun and raised his eyebrows at him.

Carol: Are you willing to have a go?

Kiro: [In English] Uh-huh, as usual?

Carol: As usual.

The ball machine made a low buzzing sound, and the two men lined up on both sides, both raising their bats.

Boom!

A crisp and harsh sound rang in my ears.

Unlike the slow ball that the machine threw at me, Carol and Kiro's ball machines were set to the highest speed. When the bats were swung down, the ball hit the scoring area hard like a beam of light reflected back.

Second ball, third ball...

The two of them hit every shot and scored very hard.

I was no longer in the mood to complete my exercises, so I just held my breath and watched the game.

At the eleventh stroke, Kiro suddenly frowned and paused while twisting his waist.

MC: ....!

I suddenly remembered that Kiro had sprained his waist filming an MV last week. Had it relapsed?

Just that moment of stagnation caused the speed of his swing to be half a beat slower that Carol's. And that slight difference made his swing fail.

Kiro: .....

Kiro's movements stopped and Carol also put down his bat. He glanced at the data plate and shrugged.

Carol: Your swinging speed is 113km/h, and your outfield score is 14... You've regressed a bit, Kiro.

Kiro: No, you've gotten a lot stronger.

Carol: Oh, of course. After all, I went through hell in order to join MLB~

Carol stretched, walked over and patted Kiro on the shoulder.

Carol: But you can't say that.

Carol: I'm afraid that kid Raymond doesn't even remember how to swing a bat. If you can maintain this level, you definitely would be able to dominate the charity game in a month's time.

Kiro: Are you using Raymond to provoke me?

Carol: Not really, I'm just stating facts.

Carol: And because this is a fact, I decided to balance the combat power - when the time comes, I'll be your opponent. Otherwise a one-sided game would be too boring.

After Carol finished speaking, he waved at me and walked out the door.

Carol: Bye, Kiro, and Kiro's girlfriend! See you in a month!

After Carol left, I walked over to Kiro and pulled his wrist.

MC: You seemed uncomfortable when you swung the bat just now... Kiro, are you okay?

Kiro: I want...

MC: What?

His voice was so low that I was unable to hear him clearly.

Kiro turned his face, his cheeks puffed up angrily, and his blue eyes burning with fighting spirit.

Kiro: I said... I also want special training from hell!

[CHAPTER 3]

Apple Box: Woo...

Cello: Meow...

The air conditioner pumped out air-conditioning at full power, but the lazy scent of a summer afternoon still covered our entire home. Even Apple Box and Cello, who would usually be playing together, each occupied a cushion and fell asleep.

The only energetic one was Kiro, who was standing in front of the big screen.

Kiro: 33, 34, 35...

After competing with Carol that day, Kiro kept his word and immediately formulated a set of "Kiro-style hell training" for himself.

He couldn't frequent the baseball stadium, so he simply compiled a baseball physical program that he could practice at home, from swinging to catching.

MC: ...69, 70! Stop, it's time to rest!

As soon as the number jumped, I immediately raised my hand and asked Kiro to stop. Kiro calmed his breathing and turned to pitifully look at me.

Kiro: Can I do another set of exercises?

MC: You can't.

I pretended to be serious and decisively refused.

MC: Who applied for two extra sets of training yesterday? Then at night, he was complaining that his back was sore and asked me to help with a massage and the application of medicine?

Kiro: Yesterday, it was because I overestimated myself, so I'll only do one more set today...

MC: N - O. NO.

Kiro: [cute disappointed whine] .....

Kiro drooped his eyebrows and finally turned off the training program on the screen, and sat down next to me.

I knew why he was struggling with the amount of training, but I didn't want to interfere. I just recommended the cut up watermelon to him.

MC: The fruit shop owner told me that the one I picked was the sweetest. Try it?

Kiro: Is that so? Let me try.

Having said that, Kiro turned his wrist and handed the intact piece of watermelon in his hand to my mouth.

MC: Kiro, I want you to eat first...

I swallowed it halfway and thought of a better method.

I lowered my head and bit of the reddest piece on the triangular tip of the watermelon, but I didn't swallow. Instead, I held it between my teeth and looked at him intently.

MC: Mm?

Just a deliberately soft nasal sound was enough of a suggestion.

Kiro's eyelashes trembled, and the next moment, he had already leaned over.

The tip of his tongue rubbed against my teeth and swept away the watermelon. After just a slight squeeze, the abundant juice overflowed between our lips.

The strands of fruit fiber were torn apart in the entanglement, and were swallowed up with the bright pink juice and colorless body fluid.

I pursed my moist lips and smiled triumphantly.

MC: How about it? Am I right? Isn't it particularly sweet?

Kiro gave me a more cunning smile in return.

Kiro: Mm. The first bite was indeed sweet.

He took another bite of the unfinished piece of watermelon, and the vague sound mixed with the sweet fruit covered my breath again.

Kiro: Now, I want to try other places to see if it's just as sweet.

The dormant computer was still humming, and the room was quieter than during training. Our rapid overlapping breaths did not affect Apple Box and Cello's sleep.

After we playfully demolished the fruit plate, Kiro lazily held me in his arms and suddenly squeezed my fingers.

Kiro: [With a soft sigh] Were you feeling bored this week?

MC: Why do you ask?

Kiro: Because since I've been in special training this week, I've hardly spent time with you...

MC: Who said you were hardly with me?

I grabbed my phone and turned the photo album over to him.

MC: You train and I take photos. That's also a way of you being with me.

The photo album not only showed Kiro focusing on training, but also the profile of him watching a video of the game, and a short video of him looking for Apple Box to complain when he was tired...

There were even shots of me catching someone eating in the middle of the night because he had consumed too much energy.

Kiro looked at them one by one, and burst out laughing.

Kiro: I've gotta say, why are you always taking pictures of me with your mobile phone recently? You already have so many pictures. Are you going to make a special training documentary for me?

MC: Uh-huh, that's right~ Do you want to look further?

Kiro moved his thumb forward twice more and clicked on the next video.

Kiro: [In the video] So, not bad right?

Kiro: I can tell from your expression that you love me in this uniform, Miss Chips!

The camera was shaking a little under the scorching sun, and it took a few seconds to focus on the protagonist.

The blue and white baseball uniform, the Japanese banner in the distance; everything in it was obviously from a long time ago, but it seemed like it just happened yesterday. Kiro suddenly opened his eyes wide.

T/n: This is a reference to Kiro's Heatwave Date :>

Kiro: Ah! This is--

Kiro: Isn't this the video you took of me when we went to Hitachi High School to play?

MC: Yep. Because you're playing another game, I found the video of the last game to compare it with the current Kiro.

Kiro: Compare?

Kiro: So what are your comparison results?

MC: Hmm... I'd like to hear your thoughts on shooting the main character first?

Kiro: Well... I felt like I was too young and immature at the time.

MC: Huh, is that so?

By the time the video was played, Kiro was already on the field, running and swinging the bat with ease.

MC: I feel like you were already very mature at the time.

Kiro: ...You're so silly, Miss Chips.

MC: Huh?

Kiro looked at me, a little helpless and a little amused. He pointed at the Kiro on the screen and then at himself.

Kiro: I mean, couldn't you tell how I felt when I changed into my baseball uniform and went to find you?

I shook my head honestly. At the time, my whole heart seemed to be hanging on the upcoming game, and I honestly couldn't tell. How did Kiro feel when he came to see me?

Kiro: Okay, but I'm a little embarrassed to say it now. At the time, I probably... really wanted to "spread my peacock feathers" in front of you.

MC: "Spread your peacock feathers"?

Kiro used such a gorgeous adjective that I found it difficult to combine it with his refreshing appearance in the video.

Kiro: Just... I just try my best to show off in front of you, wanting you to praise me for my awesomeness, wanting your eyes to fall only on me...

Kiro: Isn't that just like a peacock spreading it's feathers?

MC: Yeah?

I rewound the progress bar and watched that section again.

I watched him hold up the brim of his hat, quietly take off his glove and talk about his high school baseball level...

MC: Now that you've said it, I find it seems to be true, hahaha!

I looked at Kiro in the video and then at the Kiro in front of me and couldn't help but poke his cheek with my finger.

MC: Why didn't I see at the time that even our famous superstar had such embarrassing acting skills sometimes.

Kiro: [laughing] That's why I said I was too immature at the time.

MC: So the Kiro of now is a mature enough Kiro?

Kiro: Of course.

His breathing suddenly came closer, and the intensity with which he was rubbing my fingers became a little heavier, and slowly climbed upwards.

Kiro: Because now I will directly "spread my peacock feathers" and express my appeal to MC.

With a click, the phone slipped from the palm of my hand.

Cello suddenly let out a long cry. I subconsciously held his restless hand and nuzzled it.

Kiro deliberately pretended not to understand what I meant this time, and his lips were already touching the corner of my mouth.

Kiro: [whispering] Ignore them. I'm "spreading my feathers".

There was still some residual sweetness of the watermelon on his lips, which was addictive in the heat of summer. The numb stroking was like a feather caressing my body, a little ticklish, and arousing a fine shudder.

The air conditioner seemed to be turned on lower, making me instinctively seek out a hotter embrace and dye myself the same temperature.

In a trance, as if something really bloomed in front of my eyes, I murmured.

MC: So... you haven't said what exactly you want.

In the confusion, Kiro seemed to be smiling.

Kiro: Come and praise me for my training efforts with practical actions. I'd like that very much.

[CHAPTER 4]

Director: The sound is in place and the lights are ready!

The sneakers made a slight squaking sound on the wooden floor and the young girls were already in position holding colorful pompoms. The moment the music started playing the youthful and energetic cheerleading dance blossomed in front of the camera.

Willow: Compared with the first run, the players have made great progress! The filming of "Youth Cheerleaders" has now reached its final phase.

Everyone was very pleased to see the contestants on stage growing up step-by-step and was infected by their enthusiasm.

MC: Yes, it makes me want to learn cheerleading...

Willow: Boss, you can certainly learn.

Willow: Isn't is going to be your Kiro's game in a few weeks? Won't it be great for you to wear a cheerleading uniform and cheer him on?

MC: ...It's not that simple, is it?

Willow: Why not? Look, we have coaches, clothing, as well as promotional and cooperation channels for charity matches. Aren't they all readymade?

Willow said it so confidently that I couldn't help but be moved.

On that green field, just as I have been watching him, he would only look at me among thousands of people.

When that picture appeared in my mind, my face felt a little hot.

Willow was called away by the staff. After standing still for a while, I walked towards the professional consultant teacher for this program.

MC: Hello, I have a new cooperation opportunity. Could we chat after the recording?

Maybe I could indeed give Kiro a surprised.

After my discussion with the consultant, I sent a message to Kiro and rushed to the agreed location.

Starting from this week, Kiro's hell training has entered the next stage, with actual practice in the outfield and base running.

He hired a professional coach, rented a baseball field, and practiced every day.

Because I'd been busy recording "Youth Cheerleaders" for the past two days, this was the first time I was going to the baseball field to find him.

As soon as I walked to the door, the doorman greeted me cheerfully.

Doorman: Are you the girl that Kiro mentioned?

MC: Mm. What about him? Has he finished training?

Doorman: Your handsome boy has finished practicing today and should be changing clothes in the locker room now.

I thanked the uncle and hurried to the locker room.

Because Kiro had reserved the entire baseball field when he signed the lease, I opened the locker room without much care.

MC: Kiro, I'm here! How was the effect of your practice? --Why do you have so many injuries on your body?

Kiro: ....!

Kiro seemed startled by my voice and hurriedly put down his half-undressed clothes.

Kiro: MC?

I rushed to Kiro in two steps. He had been wearing loose home clothes after returning home for the past two days. I didn't notice that he had so many minor scratches.

Upon closer inspection, there were red marks on his face too.

MC: How did this happen?

Kiro: It's nothing. In actual combat training, these are just minor injuries. When I was practicing rugby in high school, I suffered a lot more injuries than I do now.

MC: Did you practice rugby in high school?

Kiro: Mm. [Loud exhale] At the time I wanted to learn everything and compete in everything. I even trained for a while to win a game.

Seeing that he wanted to change the subject again, I quickly grabbed the first aid kit from the glove cabinet.

MC: I can help treat your wounds while listening to your memories. So you sit tight now and don't move.

Kiro: It really doesn't matter to me - hiss!

I just gently poked him with my fingertips, and Kiro immediately retracted his arms in an exaggerated manner, blinking pitifully.

Kiro: Mm....

MC: Hmph, didn't someone just say that these were minor injuries?

Kiro: It can't withstand your poke. If you poke me, I'll be "seriously injured".

Kiro whispered with a smile, but took off his baseball uniform, revealing the black lining.

The semi-wet lining fit tightly on his thin waist. I swallowed inexplicably and suddenly, and quickly lowered my head to apply the iodine.

MC: We-were you always hit by the ball?

Kiro: There were also cases where I'd fall while running the basses, and get hit when blocking someone...

Although I knew that he had been training a lot during that time, I still felt a little sad when I heard him say it so casually. I half-crouched in front of him and carefully smeared the scratches on his arms with the medicine.

His fair complexion had just been burned by the scorching sun and was glowing with a beautiful layer of pink. When the dark medicine was applied, it seemed like little flowers were dyed on his body.

Kiro: Is this okay..?

MC: It's early. Since you still want to hide your injuries from me, I'm going to be thorough in my checking this time.

MC: Hm, lift up your shirt.

I ordered sternly and gently poked his chest with a cotton swab. Kiro chuckled lightly and rolled up the corners of the lining with his hands.

Kiro: Enough?

MC: [serious blushing face] Higher.

Kiro: Why not take it off?

MC: ...No need?

Kiro: [pouting] Nurse Chips is so mean today.

Kiro trailed off and rolled up his clothes.

A thin layer of wet sweat gathered along the texture of his skin, and every time his chest rose and fell, water droplets would meander downwards along the lines.

When the medicine soaked into the wound, I could clearly hear him taking a shallow breath.

Then he let out a long sigh of relief, and a stream of air blew through my forehead, like a teasing kiss.

Kiro: Could you be gentler?

He must have done it on purpose. I was obviously already very gentle.

My heartbeat sped up inexplicably, and I bit my lower lip, not wanting to reveal my breathing.

The cotton swab was obviously applied on him, yet, for some reason, I felt my body tighten up with slight impatience.

MC: [blushing] Mm, okay, the inspection is over. It seems like these are the only two spots on your body...

Kiro held the hand that I was about to retract.

When my fingers fell, the cotton swab hooked his loosened belt, making an ambiguous dull sound.

Kiro: [in a dangerously low voice] Why are you so perfunctory all of a sudden?

MC: H-how am I perfunctory?

Kiro: [in a ridiculously sinful whisper] 'Cause the wounded hasn't been examined yet.

The next second, I was lifted by one of his hands.

I gave a short exclamation, but my back was already pressed against the bench in the locker room. The sunlight leaking from the skylight separated us, making it difficult for me to see Kiro's expression clearly.

Feeling guilty, I wanted to sit up, but he had already held my knees down.

MC: Wait - wait a minute, Kiro...

Kiro: I won't wait.

MC: [blushing hard] --There's a phone call!

Indeed, there was a buzzing vibration coming from my bag at the moment.

Kiro pursed his lower lip, then picked up the phone and handed it to me.

The call came from the professional consultant teacher of the cheerleading team. It was inconvenient for me to hang up, so I had no choice but to pick up the call.

MC: He-hello?

Consultant: I thought about what you said during the day. Although time is tight, it is not impossible.

Consultant: I've heard that you have some background in ballet and ballroom dancing. When it comes to choreography, we won't do any difficult movements. We'll focus on beauty and neatness to produce effects...

I replied politely, but I honestly didn't think about most of my words at all. I just wanted to end the phone call as soon as possible.

In my daze, all I felt was that Kiro seemed to have stood and left once. There was a clicking sound from the door, and then he came back again.

MC: Okay, Miss Yu, let's arrange it like this...!

A kiss landed on my collarbone without warning. I was so surprised that I almost bit my tongue.

Kiro: [whispering seductively] Hurry up.

My subconscious struggle was firmly restrained by Kiro, and the second urging kiss continued to climb upward. My heart was beating so fast that I didn't even know what I said to the consultant and quickly hung up the phone.

MC: Kiro, you...

The rest of my words were rolled away by the tip of his tongue.

The desire that had been interrupted by the phone call was reignited in the entanglement, and became even more passionate than before.

The afternoon sun is too bright, I thought in a daze.

The sunlight fell on that soft golden color, and it was so bright as it swayed back and forth, that I couldn't help but close my eyes.

The touch was amplified more and more. The back was hard and the kiss was soft.

His breath was scorching, and the bodies touching each other were scalding hot.

My last trace of reason still led me to make one final struggle, and I spoke intermittently.

MC: Didn't you say you wanted me to continue checking? How can I check now...

Kiro: Why can't you check it?

Kiro took my hand with one hand and put it on his shoulder.

Kiro: Actually... there's only one spot on my body that I haven't applied medicine to yet.

Kiro: But it wasn't from me falling here, It was you who left it yesterday.

Several thin scratches were entrenched on the back of his shoulders, and several thin protrusions fit perfectly with my fingers.

Kiro: So help me.

Part 2: HERE

Translation Masterlist: here

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc kiro #THIS DATE IS JUST ASDFGHJKL INSANE #VERY VERY INSANE #MC WASN'T KIDDING WHEN SHE SAID THAT THE TWO OF THEM WERE “ADDICTED” TO EACH OTHER

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robinbuckleysfringe · 1 month

Text

There's No Place Like Hawkins

pairings: steve harrington x oc, steve harrington x henderson!oc

warnings: nothing beyond anything that happens within canon of the show, slow burn?? they don't get together for a while

word length: it's a long first chapter, 5k

notes from the author: I picture Catherine Henderson as a mix between Saoirse Ronan and Alyson Hannigan (specifically her Buffy era), but feel free to picture Catherine as whoever you would like :)

Cast of Stranger Things as themselves, unless stated otherwise

Chapter One (episodes: S1.Ep.1)

prev. chapter | next chapter | series masterlist

The Vanishing of Will Byers

November 6th, 1983

Hawkins, Indiana

Catherine Henderson was sat in the basement of the Wheeler's house, watching her brother, Dustin, and his friends play their game of Dungeons and Dragons. "Something is coming." Mike Wheeler, the younger brother of Nancy- one of Cat’s best friends- announced, leading the game as the dungeon master. "Something hungry for blood. A shadow grows on the wall behind you, swallowing you in darkness. It is almost here."

Cat focused her attention back on her book, hardly paying attention to the game. Despite having babysat the majority of the boys’ games, she still didn’t have a clue as to how it worked. She would rather be hanging out with Nancy upstairs while she waited for her brother to finish his game, but the brunette was busy talking on the phone to the third friend in their group, Barbara Holland. This didn’t upset Catherine too much, she wasn’t Nancy biggest fan when the girl spoke about boys, Steve Harrington in particular. It just reminded her of bittersweet memories.

"What is it?" Will asked quietly. He was also the younger sibling of another one of Cat’s friends, Jonathan Byers.

"What if it's the Demogorgon?" Dustin suggested.

"The what?" Catherine asked, lifting her head from her book to look over at the group. She hadn’t heard them mention this particular creature in previous games.

The boys ignored her, continuing with their game. "Oh, Jesus, we're so screwed if it's the Demogorgon." Dustin added, shaking his head.

"It's not the Demogorgon." Lucas told him.

"An army of Troglodytes charge into the chamber!" Mike yelled suddenly, placing a mini figure onto the game board. Cat sighed, turning back to her book. She understood very few of the words that the kids spoke during their Dungeons and Dragons sessions.

"Troglodytes?" Dustin questioned.

"Told ya." Lucas chuckled, smug as he had been right about the monster not being a Demogorgon.

The boys chuckled for a moment before Mike whispers, "wait a minute." He paused. “Did you hear that? That… that sound? Boom… boom…” He yelled again, slamming his hands down onto the table. "That didn't come from the Troglodytes. No, that... That came from something else." The boys all looked at Mike expectantly before he slammed a figure onto the table and exclaimed, "The Demogorgon!" He yelled as the others all groaned in annoyance.

"We're in deep shit." Dustin pointed out.

"Language!" Catherine chided her brother. Dustin simply responded by sending her a glare, knowing hers was always a lot worse.

"Will, your action!" Mike told the small boy.

"I don't know!" The young Byers cried, shaking his head.

"Fireball him!" Lucas suggested.

"I'd have to roll a 13 or higher!" Will pointed out to him.

"Too risky. Cast a protection spell." Dustin suggested.

"Don't be a pussy. Fireball him."

"Cast Protection."

Mike slammed his hands down onto the table. "The Demogorgon is tired of your silly human bickering!"

"I'm tired of your bickering too." Catherine muttered. "But at least the whatever it is isn't real and gets a break from hearing your voices." She rolled her eyes.

"It stomps towards you." Mike continued. "Boom!"

"Fireball him Will!" Lucas yelled.

"Another stomp, boom!"

"Cast Protection." Dustin yelled.

"He roars in anger!"

The boys all continued to yell over one another, telling Will what to do.

"Would you all shut up!" Catherine cried out, having had enough of the racket. At the same time, Will yelled, "Fireball!" and rolled the dice. They all watched as it rolled off the table and onto the floor.

"Oh, shit!" Mike exclaimed as they all stood up to look for the dice.

"Where'd it go?" Lucas asked as they began to search on the floor. "Where is it?" Catherine sat back on the couch, content now that they'd finally stopped yelling.

"I don't know!" Will spoke, answering Lucas's question.

"Henderson, help us look for it!" Lucas yelled, turning towards the eldest Henderson.

"Nope. I wasn't playing and therefore I don't have to help you." Cat retorted, not even bothering to spare a glance from her book.

"Kit, please help us." Dustin begged, pausing his search to look over at her. "Please, please help us look for it."

Cat rolled her eyes, sitting up in her seat. She looked down by her legs, peering at the small area of floor by her feet. Upon seeing nothing, she sat back on the sofa and turned back to her book. "There, I've looked, and I can't see it anywhere near me. You're welcome."

The younger Henderson rolled his eyes at her behaviour. "Is it a 13?" He asked, turning back to his friends.

"I don't know!" Will replied, shrugging his shoulders. “I didn’t see it before it disappeared.”

"Where is it?" Lucas asked again, becoming increasingly frustrated.

"Oh, my God!" Dustin repeated over and over again while he paced the floor of the basement.

"It's just a dice." Cat snapped. "You're panicking over nothing."

"Nothing?! This isn't nothing, Henderson." Lucas shouted at her. "It's a life-or-death situation."

"It really isn't, Sinclair." Cat retorted, just as Mrs. Wheeler yelled Mike's name from upstairs.

The boys continued panicking about the dice while Mrs. Wheeler opened the door to the basement. "Mike!" She called and the boy looked up at her from where he was stood at the bottom of the stairs.

"Mom, we're in the middle of a campaign!" He complained her.

"You mean the end? Fifteen after." Mrs Wheeler told him, pointing to the watch on her wrist before walking away from the basement, Mike running up the stairs behind her to try and plead for more time to finish their campaign.

"Oh, my God! Freaking idiot!" Lucas yelled to no one in particular. After a few more minutes of searching, Will announced to the group that he’d found the dice.

Cat dramatically threw her head backwards against the sofa. “Finally!” She cried, throwing her arms up into the air. “Does that mean we can leave now?” She asked, watching her brother start to grab his jacket.

"No!" Lucas snapped, to which she just rolled her eyes.

"Does the seven count?" Will asked, looking to Lucas.

"It was a seven? Did Mike see it?" Will shook his head. "Then it doesn't count." Lucas told him.

"I believe that's called cheating," Cat stated, marking the page of her book with her bookmark, and putting it in her backpack.

"No one asked you, Henderson." Lucas snapped at her.

While the boys gathered up their belongings and started to head up the basement stairs. Dustin stopped, noticing the pizza box only had a couple of slices left. "Yo, hey, guys." Dustin called to them, and Will and Lucas stopped on the stairs for a moment. "Does anyone want this?"

"No." They both responded, shaking their heads and hurrying up the stairs.

Dustin turned to Cat who had just finished zipping up her backpack and had started putting her arms through the sleeves of her jacket. "You want this, Kit?" He asked, holding the pizza box out towards her.

“No, that’s alright. Thanks though, Dusty. Just leave it here or throw it in the trash." She finished putting her jacket on and started to walk up the stairs, Dustin following behind her.

“I’ll meet you outside. I’m gonna see if Nancy might want it.”

Cat shrugged her shoulders at him. “I doubt it, but that’s sweet of you Dusty. Just make sure you hurry up, alright? Mum wanted us home…” She looked at her watch. “Oh shit. She wanted us home at least an hour ago.”

Dustin nodded, leaving up the stairs to the second floor of the house while Cat headed towards the front door. She made sure to stop in the kitchen and thank Mrs. Wheeler for allowing the boys to hang out in their basement, before heading outside to wait for her brother.

Catherine was just climbing onto her bike when Dustin walked out of the Wheeler's house. "There's something wrong with your sister." He grumbled to Mike who was standing outside while the others got their bikes together.

"What are you talking about?"

"She's got a stick up her butt." Dustin explained.

"Yeah." Lucas agreed. "It's because she's been dating that douchebag, Steve Harrington." He rolled his eyes.

Cat couldn’t help the scoff of agreement that left her lips. Ever since Nancy had started dating the most popular guy in school, Steve Harrington, she barely spoke to Cat about anything else. Every conversation ended up relating back to Steve and it had started to get on Catherine’s nerves.

Steve Harrington used to be her best friend up until he dumped her for popularity when they started high school, and unfortunately, he happened to be the guy that Cat was totally head-over-heels for. A fact that she wouldn’t admit to anyone except her best friend Barbara Holland, and that was only because the redhead had figured it out before she had.

"Yeah," agreed Dustin. "She's turning into a real jerk."

"She's always been a real jerk." Mike argued.

Cat shook her head. “Not true. We used to be able to have conversations that didn’t always involve talking about her boyfriend.”

"Exactly.” Dustin agreed. “She used to be cool. Like that time both she and Kit dressed up as elves for our Elder tree campaign."

"I told you never to speak of that again." Cat muttered as she started to cycle to the end of the Wheeler's driveway.

"That was four years ago!" Mike called out as the boys began to follow Cat down the drive.

"Just saying." Dustin called back as he cycled after his sister, who was now cycling quite fast down the road.

"Later." Lucas called back to Mike with a wave as he disappeared down the hill.

***

The three boys and Cat had been cycling for a short while before they approached Lucas' house. "Good night, ladies. And older Henderson." He called, starting to turn into his driveway.

"Kiss your mom 'night for me." Dustin called to him as they continued to cycle down the road. "Race you back to our house?" He asked Will. "Winner gets a comic."

"Any comic?" Will asked.

"Yeah." Dustin confirmed and the two boys began racing on their bikes down the street.

"You know I could just buy you both one?" Cat called to them, but she didn't get an answer and she began cycling faster to catch up to the two boys she was meant to be looking after.

She cycled as fast as she could down the hill, catching up to Will who was winning the race.

"You sure you don't want me to cycle with you to make sure you get home safely?" She asked him, slightly out of breath from the cycling.

"No thanks, Cat. I think I'll be fine." Will told her.

Cat nodded. "Okay then. Be safe." She called out to him as she stopped her bike next to her family's mailbox. She watched him cycle away, waiting for Dustin to catch up with her before the siblings walked their bikes down the driveway.

***

The next morning, Cat awoke with a bad feeling in her stomach. Deciding that it was probably just irrational anxiety about the upcoming school day, she decided to ignore it and instead just get ready for the day. She threw on a black and white stripped t-shirt and a pair of overalls that she had painted yellow stars onto the front of. Grabbing her toothbrush from the bathroom, she hurriedly squeezed toothpaste on it before shoving it in her mouth to brush her teeth. As she started brushing her teeth, she ran back out of the bathroom and ran down the stairs to the phone. She grabbed the phone off the wall and dialled, pacing back and forth while she waited for the other end to pick up. After a couple of rings, the person at the other end of the phone picked up.

"Jonathan!" Cat greeted her friend down the phone, although you could barely make out what she was saying as her toothbrush was still in her mouth.

"Hey, Cat. What's up? That is you, right?" He asked through the receiver.

Cat ran over to the sink to spit the toothpaste out of her mouth, phone still in hand before she answered. "Yes, it is me. Sorry." She placed her toothbrush next to the sink and begun to run the tap. "For the record, I was brushing my teeth. Also," She stopped running the tap and picked an apple from the fruit bowl, taking a bite from it. "Am I cycling to yours this morning?"

"Yeah sure. I'll give you a lift to school from mine, like usual."

"Sweet. I'll see you soon Byers."

"See you soon, Henderson."

Cat hung up the phone, took another couple of bites from her apple before throwing it in the trash and running back upstairs to her room so she could get her shoes. She grabbed her trainers, shoving her feet into them as quickly as she possibly could before running back out of her room, calling out a goodbye to Dustin and her mom. She shut the front door behind her and hopped onto her bike before racing down the street to the Byers's house, not noticing the porch lights flickering on and off behind her.

***

Roughly twenty minutes later, Cat reached the Byers' house and hopped off her bike. She leaned it against the wall next to the door. Her fingers pushed the doorbell, signalling her arrival. "Its open," called a voice from inside the house, which Catherine recognised as Jonathan's. She pushed open the door and saw her friend standing in the kitchen cooking breakfast.

"Well, that smells nice. What 'cha making?"

Jonathan turned around and smiled at his friend who had perched herself on the kitchen counter next to the back door. He was about to reply when Joyce Byers' voice rang through the house. "Where the hell are they?"

Cat looked at Jonathan in confusion. "Keys." He simply said and Cat nodded her head in understanding.

"Jonathan?" Joyce called out from the living room.

"Check the couch!" He suggested.

"Ugh, I did." It was silent for a moment before Joyce announced that she'd found her keys. She walked into the kitchen just as Jonathan started dishing up the breakfast he had made.

"Hi Mrs. Byers." Cat greeted.

"Oh, hi Catherine. I didn't hear you come in." Joyce walked over to the teen and gave her a hug. "And call me Joyce. You practically live here, anyway, might as well call me 'mom'." She chuckled and Cat let out a short laugh.

Joyce picked her bag up from the table, saying goodbye to her eldest. "Okay, sweetie, I will see you tonight."

"Yeah, see you later."

Joyce went to leave but stopped, realising that Will wasn't in the kitchen. "Where's Will?"

"Oh, I didn't get him up yet." Jonathan turned around to face his mom. "He's probably still sleeping."

Joyce sighed. "Jonathan, you have to make sure he's up!" She stressed.

"Mom, I'm making breakfast."

Joyce shook her head and walked off down the hall towards Will's room. "I told you this a thousand times." Cat heard Joyce say, "Will! Come on, honey. It's time to get up."

"I think it was pretty late when they left last night so he's probably still really tired. I think Dustin was, although I didn't really see him before I rushed out of the house this morning." Cat told Jonathan, raising her voice a little so Joyce could hear her too.

Joyce walked back down the hall to the kitchen. "He came home last night, right?"

"He's not in his room?" Jonathan asked.

"Did he come home or not?" Joyce asked her son.

"I don't know." He replied, placing the plates on the table.

"You don't know?"

"No." Jonathan stammered. "I got home late. I was working."

"You were working?"

"Eric asked if I could cover. I said yeah. I just thought we could use the extra cash."

"Jonathan, we've talked about this." Joyce told him.

"I know, I know."

"You should have called me. I wouldn't have minded babysitting him until you guys got back." Cat spoke up, quietly so as to not involve herself in the arguing.

"You can't take shifts when I'm working." Joyce continued at Jonathan. "Or at least ring Catherine and ask her to babysit. She wouldn't mind." She gestured in the direction of the girl.

"I honestly don't mind looking after Will. Or any of the boys, really." Cat added.

"Mom, it's not a big deal. Look, he was at the Wheeler's all day. I'm sure he stayed over."

Both looked over to Catherine who was still sat on their kitchen counter. “Um, well, not to my knowledge. I cycled with them all home. I even asked Will if he wanted me to cycle back with him to make sure he was okay. He didn't want me to, said he would be fine. But maybe he came back here and grabbed some stuff and headed back to the Wheeler's for the night." She shrugged. "I didn't see his bike outside this morning."

Joyce sighed. "I can't believe you." She mumbled; the words aimed at her Jonathan. She walked over to the phone and dialled the number for the Wheeler household.

Cat had another thought. "Or maybe he left extra early this morning and that's why I didn't see his bike out front." Jonathan shrugged in reply as Joyce started speaking into the phone.

"Hi, Karen. It's Joyce." There was silence for a moment as Karen Wheeler spoke on the other end of the phone. "Was that Will I heard back there?" She asked. "Will didn't spend the night?" She was starting to sound worried. Cat shared a look with Jonathan as if to say, 'I told you so'. "Um, you know what? I think he just left early for... for school."

Catherine threw her hands up in the air as she whispered to Jonathan, "That's exactly what I suggested." Joyce thanked Karen and hung up the phone. She looked really worried.

"I'm really sorry Joyce." Cat hopped off the counter and walked over to the woman to give her a hug. "If I'd just have followed him back here, you would know where he is."

Joyce wrapped her arms around the teenager, "It's okay. We'll find him. It isn't your fault."

Cat pulled away from the hug and looked at the clock. "Shit. I've got to go. Jonathan, are you still able to give me a lift today? I mean I could always cycle to school today. Or... or I could stay and help you look for Will?"

"You get to school dear." Joyce told her. "I'm sure if Jonathan drove you, you'd get there in time."

Jonathan nodded his head, grabbing his car keys and headed outside to his car, telling his mum that he'd be back soon.

"I'll come by after school. I'm sure Will's fine. He's got to be." Catherine gave Joyce one more reassuring hug before rushing outside and jumping into the passenger seat next to Jonathan. She pushed down any guilt that started to bubble up. She should have insisted on walking Will home, then they'd know where he was.

***

A little while later, Jonathan’s car pulled to a stop in the carpark outside Hawkin’s High. Catherine’s hand hovered over the door handle as she undid her seatbelt. “Thanks for giving me a lift, Jonathan. You didn’t have to. I know you’ve got a lot going on today.” She grabbed hold of her bag from between her feet, pushing the door open slightly.

“It’s no problem, honestly. Besides, it’s our routine and I was gonna drive into town anyway.”

Cat hummed, pushing the car door open further and placing one foot on the tarmac. “I take it you’re not coming into school today.” She turned her head to look at him and the boy shook his head. “Well, I’ll pass on any work that you miss.”

Jonathan smiled at her. “Thanks, Cat.”

Catherine nodded at him. “No problem.” She gathered her belongings into her arms and stepped out into the chilly November air.

“Hey, do you need a home this evening?” Jonathan called, just as she was about to shut the door.

“Oh shit, I left my bike at yours.” Cat sighed. “Yeah, I probably will. But if you can’t, I’ll get the bus. See you later Byers.” She waved with her free hand as she slammed the car door shut.

"See you later Henderson." Jonathan called, sending her a wave as he drove off.

Catherine took a moment to herself before she turned and began heading into the school. Spotting Nancy just a few feet in front of her, she called out for her friend. "Hey, Wheeler!" She called, shoving past people in order to reach the girl. "Hey, Nancy! Wait up!”

Nancy finally heard her and stopped walking, turning around to face Cat. "Oh, hey Cat. I didn't see you."

"Or hear me, apparently.” Cat chuckled.

Before either of the two could say anything else, Barbara fell in line with the two of them and began walking on Nancy’s other side. "So, did he call?" She asked.

"Did who call?" Cat asked them, not understanding.

"Steve. And keep your voice down, Barb."

“Ah, yes. Of course, Steve.” She sighed, rolling her eyes. When were they not talking about Nancy's significant other, Catherine's ex-best friend and secret crush?

"Did he?" Barbara asked, nudging Nancy’s arm.

"Yeah, Nancy, did your pretty little boyfriend call?" Cat asked, clearly mocking the girl. She didn't mean to, but it was becoming annoying with how often Nancy talked about Steve Harrington.

"I told you, it's not like that." Barbara gave Nancy a look, knowing she was lying. "Okay, I mean, yes, he likes me, but not like that."

"Then like what? How does he like you if it's not 'like that'?" Cat asked. "I've seen him look at you and it's very clear how much he likes you."

The three girls approached Nancy's locker. "We just... made out a couple times." Nancy told the two other girls as she opened her locker. Catherine leaned on the locker next to Nancy's, watching her friends.

"'We just... made out a couple times.'" Barbara mocked Nancy, using a dreamy voice. "Nance, seriously, you're gonna be so cool now, it's ridiculous."

"No, I'm not." Nancy disagreed.

"You are. You totally are, Wheeler." Cat told her, looking completely bored as she leaned on the locker next to her friend’s.

"You better still hang out with us, that's all I'm saying."

Cat nodded her head. “Yeah, I can’t afford to lose another friend to the popular asshole clique.” She half joked.

"If you become friends with Tommy H. or Carol-" Barb started, being quickly cut off by Nancy.

Nancy shook her head, waving her hand at the pair. "Oh, that's gross. Okay, I'm telling you, it was a one-time..." Both girls raised their eyebrows at Nancy. "Two-time thing."

Cat rolled her eyes as she watched Nancy pull a note out of her locker. "What's that you got there, Wheeler?" She teased.

Both Barbara and Cat leant over their friend’s shoulder to read the scrawny handwriting: “Meet me. Bathroom. -Steve.”

“You were saying?” Barbara asked, a hint of sarcasm in her voice. She smiled teasingly at the small blush forming on Nancy’s cheeks.

Catherine excused herself from the two girls. "I've got to go. See you two later." She couldn't help it, she couldn't help the feeling of jealousy that was bubbling up inside her. She hated it. She hated how jealous she was because Nancy got to date Steve Harrington, the guy Cat had been practically in love with since they started high school (even if he did dump her for popularity). It was ridiculous, feeling like this when her friend was just simply being happy. But, Nancy was getting a better status while Cat was still being picked on and bullied by everyone else except her three friends- Jonathan, Barbara and Nancy. And though Steve wasn’t one of the people that picked on her, he didn’t exactly stop his friends who did. Hell, most days he didn’t even acknowledge her existence.

Cat pushed her way through the crowds of students to the bathroom on the opposite side of the school, not wanting to be anywhere near where Nancy was meeting Steve. She shoved open the door to the stall furthest from the entrance and sunk down to the floor. She locked the door before burying her face in her knees, forcing herself to not let the tears fall from her eyes. They would be stupid tears anyway. It’s not like Nancy knew of her crush on Steve, the poor girl wasn’t doing anything wrong. She was simply going after a boy she liked, and Cat was trying so hard to be supportive of her friend, but she couldn’t sit through any more conversations that circled back to being about Steve. It was becoming too much.

But the tears began to fall anyway, and pretty quickly she found herself crying in the girls’ toilet. Her thoughts drifted to poor, small Will Byers and she couldn’t help but feel guilty for his disappearance. She was supposed to have cycled him home. That was her job as the group’s unofficial babysitter. But she let him cycle home on his own against her better judgement, and now his family didn’t know where he was. How could she visit their house again, how could she show her face to the Byers knowing it was her fault that Will wasn’t there with them.

She let the tears fall until the bell rang to signal the second period of the day. She ripped off some of the toilet paper, making sure to wipe both her eyes and her nose, before picking herself up off the floor. “Pull yourself together.” She whispered to herself, hand hovering over the door handle. “There’s no need to be jealous of Nancy. They’re gonna find Will. He’s gonna come home. They’ll find him.” She repeated the last phrase in her head over and over as she unlocked the stall door and washed her hands. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”

***

“Ah, man. This is it.” Lucas sighed as the cycled down the hill towards the woods. After being pestered by the boys once they’d all arrived home from school, Catherine had agreed to come out and help them look for Will. It didn’t take much to get her to agree to help. The guilt was beginning to eat her up inside and she didn’t want any of the other boys to disappear while looking for their friend, especially not her brother. It would kill her. The only problem was that she had unfortunately forgotten to grab a jacket before Dustin had dragged her out of the house to meet the other two outside Mike’s house.

They came to a stop at the edge of the woods where there was a piece of police tape strung between the trees. Cat let out a sigh as she dismounted her old bike. "You three stay close. Okay? I'm not having any more of you kids going missing. Not while I'm around. You got it?" They all nodded. "Especially you Dustin.” She pointed to her younger brother. “Mom would kill me."

Dustin nodded his head at her, jumping off his own bike. "Hey, guys. You feel that?" He asked the others as thunder rumbled in the distance. "I think maybe we should go back."

"No." Mike said, determined to find their friend. "We're not going back. Just stay close, like Cat said. Come on. Just stay on channel six. Don’t do anything stupid." He parked his bike before starting to walk through the forest and the rest followed, leaving their bikes behind.

"Hey, Mike." Cat called out to him after a few minutes. "Did Nancy have any plans tonight? It's just, she rarely hangs out with me outside school anymore."

The younger Wheeler shrugged his shoulders, glancing back at her. "Um, all I know was that I saw Steve climbing through her window when I left." Cat couldn’t help the frustrated sigh that left her lips.

"Do you have a crush on him, or something?" Lucas questioned her. She simply rolled her eyes at him, deciding to give a verbal response.

"Kit's like totally in love with him." Dustin blurted out.

"I'm gonna kill you, Dustin." Cat muttered angrily, shaking her head disappointedly at him.

Mike pulled a face of disgust as he looked over to her. "You're in love with Steve Harrington? He's an asshole." He pointed out to her, rolling his eyes.

Catherine sighed softly. “Yeah, I know. I know he is.” She turned sharply towards her brother. “Dustin, you are so dead for telling them. That was a secret.”

"How was I meant to know it was a secret?!" Dustin argued back to her. “You never specified!” The two siblings began to bicker as the group walked further into the forest.

***

The rain had begun to fall a lot harder with the sound of thunder growing louder the deeper they walked into the woods. Drenched head to toe, Cat was cursing herself for forgetting to wear her coat. With each step the group took, they yelled out the name of their friend. And the more that their voices echoed around the dark trees, the more the that Cat’s worry grew.

"Guys, I really think we should turn back." Dustin spoke up after a while of finding no sign of Will.

Cat nodded her head, wiping drops of rain from her face. "I agree. It's not safe out here." She wrapped her arms around herself in hopes that she would be slightly less cold. She wasn’t.

"Seriously, Hendersons?" Lucas snapped at the siblings, annoyed they were already willing to give up their search. "You wanna be a baby, then go home already!"

"We're just being realistic, Lucas!" Dustin yelled back while Cat simply scowled at the younger boy.

"No, you're just being a big sissy!" Lucas shot back.

“No! You’re not being realistic, Lucas. It’s dark and it’s beginning to storm.” Cat shouted over the noise of the rain and thunder. “We’re not gonna have a good chance of finding Will like this. There’s more chance of us ending up like Will than finding him by wandering around the woods at night!” She stressed to him.

"Do you ever think Will went missing because he ran into something bad?" Dustin asked them out of the blue.

"Don't say that. God, please, just don't suggest that." Catherine pleaded, hoping that wasn't the case and he was just seriously lost. She didn't think she could live with her herself if something seriously bad had happened to him. If only she'd just insisted to walk him all the way home... She leant her back against a nearby tree, holding her head in her hands.

"And we're going to the exact same spot where he was last seen?" Dustin continued.

“This is a bad idea.” Cat muttered into her hands, shaking her head. “This is the worst idea any of you have ever had.” She straightened herself, grabbing hold of Lucas’ arm and beginning to turn around with the intention of heading back to where they’d left their bikes.

"Henderson, what the fuck are you doing?" Lucas shouted, yanking his arm out of her hold.

"I'm taking you guys back. And you're all going to go home." She ran a hand through her sopping wet hair. "I knew this was a bad idea. God, why didn't I stop you three? Why didn't I just cycle home with Will and made sure he got home alright? Ugh, this is all my fault. This is all my fault."

"May I remind you that we have no weapons, or anything. At all." Dustin pointed out as the boys ignored Catherine’s demanded to turn back.

"Dustin, shut up." Mike said to the curly haired boy as they continued to walk further into the woods.

"I'm just saying, does that seem smart to you?"

"Dustin’s right. This isn’t smart.” Cat voiced her opinion. “Why don’t we come back in the morning when it’s light out and hopefully not raining. Or, you know, let the police do their jobs and look for Will themselves.” She shrugged her shoulders sarcastically.

"Shut up. Shut up." The group finally stopped bickering and they heard what Mike had been trying to listen for. Somewhere nearby was the rustling of leaves. “Do you guys hear that?" More rustling could be heard, and the group quickly pointed their torches at the trees. Cat stood in front of the boys to make sure whatever was near them couldn't harm them. There was more rustling, and the group sharply turned to their right to see a girl stood in a long, drenched t-shirt, eyes wide with fear. At least, she looked like a girl- it was difficult to tell between the dim light and her shaved head.

#stranger things #steve harrington #steve harrington x oc #there's no place like hawkins #stranger things season 1 #steve harrington fanfic #nancy wheeler #barbara holland #dustin henderson #steve harrington x henderson!oc #mike wheeler #lucas sinclair #will byers #jonathan byers #joyce byers #friends to lovers #sort of enemies to lovers??? i guess #ex best friends to lovers

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