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writingpaperghost · 3 years

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Ghost! It's a Game Against Doctor Pac-Man!

All's normal in the CR, until a new virus breaks out, this time taking the appearance of... Pac-Man? Joined by another Rider, known as Ghost, it's up to the CR to cure this disease. But Emu realizes he's met the so-called Dr. Pac-Man before. He was the one who separated him and his host! And who's Masamune's quiet assistant Mu?

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33393685

For those working the video game company Gemn Corp, it seemed like it would be a perfectly normal, average day. At least, as normal as things had a tendency to be. Sure, their boss was coming up with increasingly weirder logic for fighting the sentient computer virus and technically they weren’t supposed to know about that, but it was kind of hard to miss. But the point was, it was a very normal day.

Masamune’s errand runner (no one knew what the guy’s actual job was, he just showed up one day, but errand runner seemed like an appropriate guess. He was nice to people, if a bit nervous, so no one really cared for the details. Not to mention he wasn’t even always there, some days they didn’t see him at all. Besides they all had more things to worry about than the fact that there was someone allowed to run around Gemn Corp for the single purpose, it seemed, of running the president’s errands.) had just returned to his office, most likely to see what his next task may be, if any. A very normal day.

At least, until it wasn’t.

Because what was not normal – or ever really expected – at a company that makes video games, is for a trio of people dressed suspiciously in white, one wielding a sword, though they all had guns, to show up. So like, that meant they were probably something like terrorists. Armed intruders none the less. Then, after they got rid of Gemn’s woefully underpaid – and probably dead now – security guards, this fourth guy comes in also dressed in white, but the kicker was his mask. His mask was of some kind of demonic Pac-Man.

The four intruders quickly make their way to where Masamune’s office is located, with the first three in the lead and the man in the Pac-Man mask behind them. They don’t waste any time and aren’t really intercepted. Most of those working at Gemn, security or otherwise, were far too scared to try to do that. And again, the security staff is probably underpaid.

Over in Masamune’s office, he’s already received a notification that the intruders are coming and is in the process of putting the Prototype Gashats into a briefcase, hoping to get away before the intruders arrived. Notably, two are missing, the Proto Mighty Action X and Proto Drago Knight Hunter Z Gashats. He has also put a Bug Visor in the briefcase.

“What’s happening?” At one side of the door, in the corner farthest from the door, stands Masamune’s errand runner. A young man with messy brown hair that covers one eye and an eyepatch over his eye, being about shoulder length. He wears a hoodie of the Mighty Action X character Mighty, and a Drago Knight Hunter Z shirt underneath. Beneath his shirt is an orange shirt with sleeves that go down to his hands, having thumb holes. With one eye, he watches Masamune.

“Just let it happen,” Is all Masamune answers.

Just as Masamune is about to leave, the first three of the four intruders enter, the one with the sword raising said sword at him. The two others aim their guns. The errand runner watches from the corner unnoticed.

The woman speaks first, “Masamune Dan, it’s been six years since we last saw each other,” There’s a venom in her voice that would scare a normal person, though Masamune seems unphased. “Hand over the Prototype Gashats and the Bugvisor.”

Masamune doesn’t answer, not until the last of the group enters. The man in the Pac-Man mask. Despite the mask, Masamune seemed to recognize him instantly, surprised. “You shouldn’t still exist,” He finally says.

“But I am quite alive,” The man in the Pac-Man mask says, “And I’d like to complete my research.” The briefcase is snatched out of Masamune’s grasp and opened.

One of the men say, “Two are missing,”

Innocently, Masamune raises his hands and says, “I don’t have them,” Which was a true statement. He didn’t have them, though he certainly knew who did.

The four intruders turn to leave, only for the police to finallyshow up. Of course, they seemed to have planned for something like this – or were really good at improvising. One of the men grabs the Proto Gekitotsu Robots Gashat, activating it and becoming a Bugster himself, allowing him to break down the police’s barricade. The other three members followed after his destruction.

Staring at the carnage, the errand boy walks up to Masamune, “Uh… What just happened?” He asked, then looks at Masamune, “Who… Who were those people?”

---

It was what Emu would very much consider a normal day. He’s just finished helping one of his patients learn how to play this mobile game that was getting really popular, Hatesate Puzzle, and now the boy was having a really fun time playing it.

“Thank you doctor!” The boy smiles at Emu. That was always Emu’s favorite part. Seeing his patient smile. Whether in pediatrics or in the CR. It made it feel like everything that had happened to get him to this point was worth it.

As he looks up sees Asuna rushing towards him, “Emu, we have a large amount of emergency calls!” She grabs his arm, “We need to get to the scene of the breakout!”

“Right!” He called, attempting to follow with her, only to trip. Asuna sighs and pulls him up, dragging him to the hospital.

Finally, he and Asuna arrive outside a high school, where everyone was running in panic. The shocking thing was what they were running from: a large amount of small Pac-Mans were trying to bite people. It seemed like if you got bit, you got infected. So it was definitely a Bugster, if a weird one.

The news can be heard, being played from somewhere. The news announces that the Ministry of health has issued a pandemic alert, that everyone should stay home. Emu checked one of the victims who had been bitten by a Pac-Man. On top of the clear glitching from a Game Disease infection, they also had a terrible fever.

Searching for where the Pac-Mans were all heading, because they all seemed to be looking for something or someone, Emu ran through the area. He wasn’t sure exactly what he was looking for, since all he knew was that these Pac-Mans were probably the result of Game Disease, given how they were infecting people. They were probably looking for something that would stress out their main host, but he had no way of knowing what or who that is.

He’s not sure what leads him the way he ends up, but after a few minutes of searching, he finally sees a trio of people who look like their looking for something. One wears some sort of hoodie with a kimono like print, accompanied by a woman and a monk. Emu wasn’t sure if he was concerned because they were there, or because they stood out so much.

While the man in the hoodie begins to pull something out of his pocket, Emu retrieves his Gashat. He needed to start trying to deal with these Pac-Man, especially since he seemed to be getting closer to wherever they were heading towards. Only, he realized what the man had pulled out. Some kind of belt and a round-ish object.

What the… “Hey! You need to get out of here!” Emu calls out, holding his Gashat tightly. He’s ready to transform when he gets the attention of the trio. Yet before either of them can do anything, the man get’s bit by one of the Pac-Mans. That’s bad.

Still, the man attempts to use his belt and sphere thing, only for them to, presumably, not do anything. Since the man seemed surprised. “What?” The man startles, “Why can’t I transform?”

“What?” The woman echoed.

Now having reached the trio, Emu comments, “It’s probably because Pac-Man bit you,” Though it seemed intentional that it did so. Emu had his hunch about why and just what that belt and object did. “You’re… a Kamen Rider, right?”

The man looked shocked, “How did you…?”

Grinning, Emu activates his Gashat, holding it up.

Mighty Action X!

Let’s game! Metcha game! Mucha game! What’s your name? I’m a Kamen Rider!

Reaching out and hitting his portrait on the select screen, Emu introduces himself, “Emu Hojo,” He says, “Kamen Rider Para-DX.”

Level up! Mighty jump! Mighty kick! Mighty-Mighty Action X!

His red and blue armor appears around him, his weapon in hand, in axe mode. He looks at the trio, “I’ll see what I can do about getting rid of the Pac-Mans. Hopefully it’ll restore your ability to transform.”

He didn’t know much about this trio, nor this Rider, but he didn’t really need to. Obviously, he wasn’t a part of the same game as Emu, but he was still a Rider. There was no reason that Emu shouldn’t help him.

Despite Emu’s best attempts at fighting the Pac-Mans, it was like he wasn’t even hitting them. His axe was obviously making contact with them, but they weren’t taking any damage or anything. It was terribly frustrating.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the other Rider running over to a boy on the ground, probably a high school student. As the other Rider tries to help the boy, Emu sees a pair of people dressed in white. One holds what looks like a Gashat, but Emu can’t see what. But he can hear it.

Taddle Quest!

Utilizing the Gashat in a way not unlike how Graphite had a few days earlier, the person transformed into a Bugster. Did that mean they were a Bugster anyway, or was that what happened if someone just tried to use a Prototype Gashat without a Gamer Driver?

Rushing over to the other Rider and the boy, Emu intercepts the Bugster, slashing it with his axe, “You guys, get out of here with the boy!” He calls, then dodges out of the way of the Bugster’s attack, “I’ll deal with the Bugster!”

Though the Rider and the two with him attempt to leave with the boy, the other person dressed in white, a woman with a sword, intercepts them. The Rider attempts to fight her off. Despite the best efforts of both Riders, transformed and not, the Bugster and the woman were able to knock them down, causing Emu’s transformation to disappear.

A man appears, also dressed in white. But he stands out more than the other two did, as he wears a mask of Pac-Man. “You may call me Dr. Pac-Man,” The man says, “And if you can’t tell already, I am responsible for these Pac-Man you’ve been seeing.”

The other Rider examines Dr. Pac-Man, before asking, “Why are you doing this, though?” He gestures around them, “Having the Pac-Mans bite people?”

“Having them infect people with Game Disease,” Emu corrects, but he too is curious, “But yeah, why?”

“To get revenge on humanity,” Dr. Pac-Man answers simply, “Though there are a few in particular.” Apparently having felt that he sufficiently explained his evil plan, which Emu didn’t think he had, Dr. Pac-man and his allies leave.

Standing up, Emu runs over to the boy, who’s now showing symptoms of Game Disease. He must have gotten infected at some point. By now, Asuna arrives and Emu decides that he’s roping the other Rider and his friends into helping them get the boy back to the CR.

As their pushing the boys bed down to the CR, the Rider says, “I’m Takeru, by the way, Kamen Rider Ghost,” Then he vaguely gestures to the two with him, “This is Akari and Onari,”

“I’m Asuna, a nurse with the CR,” Asuna explained, “At the CR, we handle cases of Game Disease.”

“With Kamen Riders?” Akari asks.

Emu nods, “Yeah, turns out the most efficient way to deal with a sentient computer virus is to hit ‘em really hard,” Asuna sends him a glare, “Of course it’s never quite so simple.” He hastily adds, hoping to appease her.

Once they’ve finally gotten the boy to the CR, Asuna finds his file, “Togo Kiyomiya,” She reads, “According to his friends, he’s the developer of that mobile puzzle game, Hatesate Puzzle.”

Using his Game Scope, Emu scans Togo, only to find something odd. “He… isn’t infected?” He wondered aloud, “But he was showing signs of infection.” He fiddles with some of the machines in the patient room and gets the same answer. What the hell? He sighed and left the room, approaching Takeru.

“You were bit by one of those Pac-Mans, right?”

“Yeah,” Takeru nods, “Why?”

Despite that, Takeru seemed unaffected, other than his apparent inability to transform. It was odd, to say the least. “Are you feeling any usual symptoms?”

“No,” He responds, “I feel fine,” Emu’s hesitant to leave it at that, but if Takeru seemed to be fine, there wasn’t much he could do.

After a while, Director Kagami and Saki arrive, with Director Hinata on a video call. Saki is extremely worried sounding when she speaks, “One hundred thousand cases and counting,” She informs the group, “And no way to cure it. At this rate, there will certainly be deaths.”

At that moment, Poppy pops out of her cabinet, prompting the trio of newcomers to startle. “Those Pac-Mans,” She said, “They aren’t just some virus. They’re just poor game characters infected with the virus.”

“Emu, you said that your attacks had no effect on the Pac-Mans?” Emu nods at Saki’s question, “Then how are we suppose to defeat them?”

Emu pauses for a moment, thinking. Like with some Bugsters they’d faced before, the answer had to be somewhere in their game. Pac-Man wasn’t a very complicated game, though that assumed that the Pac-Mans came from the original game. As Pac-Man, you had to collect pellets, avoiding ghosts while you went. “Oh, ghosts!” Emu declared, earning himself odd looks from everyone, “The only thing that kills Pac-Man is ghosts! That’s probably why they targeted you, Takeru. Because you’re Ghost.”

Poppy blinked, “Well that’s a very literal interpretation,” But she doesn’t dispute the theory.

“It would also explain why they got rid of your ability to transform,” Saki nods, “So that you couldn’t defeat them. They seem to care little about actually infecting you, thankfully.”

While Director Kagami watched the conversation almost like they were all madmen, Director Hinata watched with a smile. “It seems you’ve already started on your efforts to figure this out,” He notes, “I’ll trust the CR to be able to handle it, alongside your new allies.” With that, he ended the call.

Akari frowned, “So now we just have to figure out how to get Takeru’s powers back,”

“We’re doomed!” Onari wailed.

Emu watched for a moment, trying to figure out what they could do. Maybe it had something to do with that Dr. Pac-Man? Not to mention… That Bugster that appeared, it seemed like it had one of the Prototype Gashats. But shouldn’t those be with Masamune? Well, except for the two that Gemn had has, the Mighty Action X and the Drago Knight Hunter Z that he took after they defeated Graphite.

As if on cue, one Masamune Dan arrives, followed by a meek looking young man, with Nico and a tall man with black and white hair behind them. Masamune seemed serious as he entered, while the man behind him looked nervous, his uncovered eye dashing around his surroundings. Nico seemed almost a bit excited, while the man behind her seemed annoyed. When Saki’s eyes fall on the man with Nico, she tenses.

Loudly, Nico notes, “Huh, so this is the CR? Not sure what I was expecting.”

The man beside her rolls his eyes, “I can’t believe you agreed to help.”

“It’s for research, right?” Nico responds smugly, “My own research.” The man just grumbles something that Emu can’t quite make out.

“Ms. Saiba has agreed to assist you with these… Pac-Mans.” Masamune began to explain, “Earlier today, four armed intruders came to Gemn Corp, stealing the eight Prototype Gashats in my possession. Ms. Saiba has also agreed to aid you in their retrieval.”

Nico shrugs at that, like it’s not that big of a deal. Maybe in her mind it isn’t. Emu’s eyes switch between the two unknown men. The nervous one and the annoyed looking one. “Who are these two?” He asks, pointing at each of the two.

Gesturing to the man beside her, Nico explains, “This is Taiga, he’s with me,” Taiga huffs, “He’s here for… moral support.”

“As if,” Taiga grumbles, “You dragged me here.”

“It might be helpful, you never know! Anyway, I help him with some research,” Nico waves Taiga’s grumbles off, “I figured he could be helpful with all these Pac-Mans around. Or something.”

Motioning for the man behind him to come forward, Masamune introduces him, “This is my assistant, you can call him Mu.” Mu waves slightly and hesitantly, “He’ll be assisting you in the retrieval of the Prototype Gashats. Or rather, he’ll be ensuring they’ll be recovered and returned to me.”

Mu says something that might be “hello” but it’s so quiet no one can tell.

Slipping past the two, Nico looks closely at Mu, causing him to shrink away. “He looks like a strong breeze would knock him over,” She says and strangely, Mu jumps slightly at it, though Emu isn’t sure why. “What happens with him when we gotta fight?”

“He’ll stay well out of the way of the fight, I assure you,” Masamune said, “He’ll simply accompany you, but stay far away from any danger.”

Emu supposes they’re not really going to be able to argue with Masamune about this, and if he’s right then it won’t matter terribly if they have this Mu following them around. Though Emu can’t help but think that there’s something… off about this Mu. Nico groans but doesn’t otherwise protest, Taiga says nothing, Director Kagami clearly doesn’t want to argue, and Saki doesn’t look entirely convinced. Poppy’s just studying the man and Takeru and his friends don’t seem to have an opinion.

Before anyone can say anything, though, Mu spots Poppy. His face lights up and he bolts over to where she’s standing, “You look just like Poppy Pipopapo!” It was the most and loudest they’d heard him talk yet. Emu thinks he sounds familiar.

Poppy seems startled by his sudden outburst and how quickly he made it over to her, but gives Mu a smile never the less. Behind him, Masamune clears his throat, “Mu,” He calls.

Mu sheepishly takes a step back and looks down, his hair obscuring more of his face. “Um, sorry,” He says quietly.

“He gets excited about anything to do with games,” Masamune explained, “Now I think that’s everything. I’m sure the CR will be able to handle this.” With that said, Masamune leaves.

“Well, uh, I’ll… leave you all to your jobs,” Mu says hesitantly, pulling a chair out from the table and sitting down. He becomes very interested in his sleeves and the hem of his Drago Knight Hunter Z shirt. “Don’t, uh… don’t mind me.”

Nico shrugs and looks at everyone, “So who’re these three?” She gestures to Takeru, Onari, and Akari.

The three quickly introduce themselves and Emu doesn’t miss how Taiga tenses slightly at how Takeru introduces himself as Kamen Rider Ghost. Nico doesn’t miss it either, “Hey, Taiga, what was that?”

“What was what?”

“You got all tense,” She pushes herself up onto her toes and gets in Taiga’s face, “Like you’re… scared. Of Ghost boy.”

“I’m not scared of some teenager,” Taiga scoffed, “What are you talking about, brat?”

But Nico was undeterred, looking at Taiga with perhaps a bit too much glee, “Could it be?” She wondered, “Are you afraid of ghosts?”

To which Taiga immediately shot back, “What? No, of course not-!”

“Taiga’s afraid of ghosts~!” She sing songs. Taiga groaned.

Watching the two, Saki sighed, “I swear they’ve both made decent Riders at some point or another,” She said, looking at Takeru.

Emu frowned, “Both?” He asked, “Nico’s Snipe but…”

“I’ll explain some other time,” Saki shook her head, “perhaps we should check on our patient?”

Of course, when Togo woke up, he immediately wanted to leave, but wasn’t exactly having much luck since he wasn’t strong enough to stand on his own, let alone walk. Joined by Takeru, Emu and Saki tried to determine why Togo had been targeted, though Togo wasn’t exactly polite in his refusal to answer. At some point Mu slipped into the room, watching from the back quietly, and Emu decides he’ll try talking about Hatesate Puzzle. That only seemed to make him more mad, since apparently he felt that he should be working on improving it and that he couldn’t do that in the hospital.

Obviously, Emu tried to convince him that improving Hatesate Puzzle shouldn’t be at the top of his priorities, given his infection of Game Disease. That he won’t be able to work on it if he was so terribly sick. Even Takeru agrees, saying that his life was more important than a game. Eventually, Saki says that if he will not accept their help, they’re nothing they can do.

Unfortunately, Emu knew that she was right.

So he and Takeru soon find themselves on the roof of the hospital. Which should have been odd, but honestly, despite having only known Takeru a few hours, the two got along pretty well.

“So you’re a doctor?” Takeru asks, glancing over at Emu.

“Yeah,” Emu responds, “Or, well, I mean I’m an intern right now.”

Takeru nods regardless, “Still, it’s impressive,” He smiles, “You seem to be pretty dedicated, too.”

Humming, Emu glances over at Takeru, “It’s… important to me. To be able to help people, not just as a Rider.”

Nodding in agreement, Takeru comments, “Just try not to die, it isn’t pleasant.”

“I can’t imagine-“ Emu cuts himself off when he realizes what Takeru said, “I’m sorry? What do you mean?”

“Erm,” Takeru sheepishly rubs the back of his head, “Well, when I became Ghost for the first time, it was rather literal.”

“You died?!”

“Yes?”

Emu stares at him for a moment. Takeru couldn’t be much older than Nico, if at all. “How old were you when you became a Rider?”

Hesitantly, he answers, “Uh, it was right before I turned eighteen?”

At that admittance, Emu just stares. Takeru… Takeru was younger than Nico was when he became Ghost. Takeru was younger than Emu had been when… And he’d died. Takeru had died and become Ghost. But he’d done all that and he was so young.

”Uh… Emu?” Takeru calling for him snapped him out of his daze with a flinch.

“Sorry,” He apologized, “It’s just… You were so young. You’re still so young.”

Something of an uncomfortable silence falls between the two, until finally, Emu says, “If it means anything, I think it’s amazing that you’re willing to fight for people like you do, even after you had died.”

“I definitely appreciate life more, now that I’ve died,” Takeru admits, “I’m lucky to have had the chance to gain that perspective.”

There’s something about his words that remind Emu of six years ago… It was hard for him to treat a patient’s life as anything less than a treasure to be safely guarded, sometimes. There were time when that exactly true, when Genius Gamer M particularly outweighed the rest of him, but for the most part… Takeru’s outlook on life is very unique, not something most people his age had.

“Oh, that reminds me,” Takeru fished something out of his jacket, holding out one of those sphere things, Eyecons, he called them. This was interesting though, as it was clearly connected to Para-DX, “This showed up at the temple a while ago.”

While Emu puzzled over the Para-DX Eyecon, eventually, Masamune greeted them, walking onto the roof. He asked to borrow Takeru’s Eyecon, the one he usually used to transform, hoping to be able to determine some way to defeat the Pac-Man with it. Easily, Takeru agreed, though some part of Emu wanted to stop him. After all… he still didn’t trust Masamune. Something about him was still very, very, wrong.

But he didn’t say anything. Not a word. He didn’t want to worry Takeru, figuring he could determine whether or not to trust Masamune on his own. He may have been younger than Emu, but he was technically more experienced in Rider business.

---

When Emu next finds Asuna, Togo, and Nico, Asuna is glaring at Nico. Nico is glaring right back, while Togo is a ways off, on his computer.

“Obviously their after him,” Nico said, “So let them come.”

“You want to use him as bait?” Emu asked, prompting the two to turn to face him. “Seriously, Nico?”

“Yes, M,” Nico groaned, “There are a whole bunch of people infected, aren’t you worried about them?”

“Togo’s our patient,” He counters.

“The CR’s patient,” She corrects, “I’m neither apart of the CR nor a doctor.”

She leaves, telling him to keep an eye on Togo. There’s not much Emu can do, so he waits. At least, until Togo, who had been working on that game for five hours straight, collapses. Now it was up to Asuna and him to get Togo back to the CR. Good going Nico.

But Togo wasn’t unconscious and just resisted their efforts.

Asuna was the first to scold him, “You can’t just work for that long and neglect your wellbeing,” She says, “Especially when we warned you about stressing yourself.”

“I’ll die when it’s time for me to die,” There’s something about Togo’s words that strike Emu cold. Who thought like that? Who would just care so little-

Shouldn’t I have reset? Why didn’t it reset? Did I load the last save point? But that wouldn’t be… here. That would be at home, maybe, or before I tried to cross the road. At least my headaches gone but… Where am I? Is this a hospital? What’s a hospital…?

Emu shakes his head, trying not to get too distracted by the memories. He couldn’t focus on those right now. He had to focus on Togo. Not that Emu got much time to do that, as Dr. Pac-Man appears. Some part of his brain thinks that Nico might have had a bit of a plan going, actually. Not a good one, but one.

But if Dr. Pac-Man was really after Togo, then they had to get Togo out of here. Picking up Togo, Emu looks at Asuna and the three begin to try to retreat. Before they can really get anywhere, more of the members of Dr. Pac-Man’s group appeared, leaving them nowhere to go.

Glaring at Dr. Pac-Man, Emu asks, “Why are you after Togo?”

“You see, the Pac-Man virus was just a tool for searching for a certain young programmer,” Dr. Pac-Man explained, looking right at Togo, “In the Pac-Mans is a program that detects a very specific strain of virus.”

In that moment, Togo clutches his chest and gasps, glitching began to appear on him. Despite his lack of symptoms, at least according to the machinery in the CR, he was showing signs of infection. Then, Emu noticed the strange feeling that always appeared when he was around someone who was infected and their infection would flair, or when there was a Bugster. At this point, he’d started tuning it out but… Surely Togo was infected. But why didn’t the machinery show anything?

Then he comes to his realization, “It’s a new strain of Game Disease,” Which was very, very, bad.

“The strain that he has is very important to our plan,” As Dr. Pac-Man spoke, the glitching grew and soon Emu could see a Bugster beginning to form from Togo. Now they had another Bugster to worry about, as well as Togo.

Once the Hatena Bugster had appeared, Emu wasn’t sure what to do quite yet, though he was prepared to fight, about to take out his Gashat. Then, Takeru rushes in, followed by Akari and Onari. Emu wasn’t sure what they’d been up to prior, but he hoped they found something useful out.

“You’re Michihiko Zaizen,” Takeru points at Dr. Pac-Man as he speaks, “But how are you still alive? You should have died six years ago.”

“I am Dr. Zaizen,” Dr. Pac-Man nods in response, “And I am still alive, because I am a Bugster. Six years ago, in that experiment, I was removing a Bugster from someone who’d been implanted with Game Disease, when it infected all of us. Now, I simply want to finish what I started.” Emu tensed at what he said. Six years ago and it was all far too much to be a coincidence. Could Zaizen have been the one to…? But then that would mean…

“You call yourself a doctor,” Emu begins, “But you use those skills to hurt people?!” All he can recall is the pain that Emu felt six years ago. Then the thought of what everyone Zaizen had infected now was going through. It made him terribly mad.

“Anyone who gets in my way,” Zaizen says, “Will die.”

The still newly emerged Hatena Bugster attacks, most likely due to Zaizen, in some way. Falling from the sky were what seemed to puzzle pieces that exploded whenever they hit the ground. After a few minutes of dodging two more people show up. When is dressed in dark blue and black, while the other wears a bright green poncho.

Recognizing the two, Takeru greets them, “Makoto, Alain!”

His attention is quickly drawn to one of the falling puzzle pieces though, which was about to land on Akari. Takeru rushes over, shielding her from the block and its blast. She’s dazed though she quickly soothes Takeru that she’s alive, though Emu can slightly see glitching from the both of them. Akari soon passes out, prompting Takeru to begin worrying again.

It was then that the Hatena Bugster decided to tell them a bit about itself, “My infections have a time limit,” He said, which nearly caused Emu to groan in annoyance, “You only have twenty-four hours to defeat me before your friends and anyone else infected by me die.”

Takeru’s two friends, Makoto and Alain, look like their about to try to fight the Hatena Bugster, Emu figures that their probably Riders too, so he’s not too concerned there, only for a one of Zaizen’s goons, the woman with a sword, to stop them. Emu was about to take his Gashat out and try to fight Hatena, only for one of Zaizen’s goons to stop him. Unfortunately, this one was very good at fist fights, not giving Emu the opportunity to transform.

“Onari!” Takeru calls, “Get Akari back to the hospital.” Aided by Asuna, she and Onari work to carry Akari back to the hospital like Takeru asked. Despite the distraction from various members of Zaizen’s goons, the three other Riders could see that Takeru was heading towards Hatena. His two friends yell at him not to, since he can’t transform.

Emu can hear Togo pleading for someone to save him. Yet despite how much Emu wants to, he’s currently stuck in a headlock. For a moment, he contemplates using his best way to get out of it, he could probably get the three other Riders to not tell the CR… He could just teleport out easy, but that would also reveal to Zaizen that he was a Bugster – really he wasn’t worried about Takeru and his friends knowing, just Zaizen and his goons.

Despite their best efforts, Zaizen’s goons were getting the better of them. Using that strange device that they’d seen Graphite use, Zaizen somehow manages to capture Togo in it.

The guy who Emu was fighting was immediately kicked to the side. The perpetrator being Kiriya, “Gee Ace, should’ve told me you guys had a problem.”

“Kiriya!”

“Emu!” Following behind Kiriya was Saki and Nico. Saki holds a Gashat out to Emu, “From the president,” She said. It seemed to be a Gashat that was based on who he could only assume was Ghost.

Turning her attention to the now Giril Bugster, Saki transformed into Brave, joined by Makoto who also transformed – Emu was gonna hazard a guess and say his name was Specter. There was also a bunch of Bugster grunts aiding Giril too. Nico, Kiriya, and Alain turn their attention to the Doral Bugster from earlier. The three transform into Snipe, Lazer, and Necrom, ready to fight.

Takeru attempts to fight Hatena, prompting Emu to get up and try to join him. Given Takeru’s inability to transform at current, he wasn’t fairing well at all. When Emu was about to grab out Mighty Action X, Zaizen speaks.

“Without Ghost’s powers, it’s hopeless. You don’t stand a chance. Now…” Behind Zaizen formed a mass of glitches and pixel which quickly took form into the appearance of a demonic Pac-Man.

With a giant, demonic, Pac-Man chasing after them, Emu and Takeru were forced to leave the building. While everyone was distracted, Zaizen was able to escape with Hatena too. Still, they had more pressing matters to worry about at the moment.

But Takeru was hurt, especially after trying to fight Hatena. “You need to get somewhere safe,” Emu tells him.

“No,” Takeru shakes his head.

“You’re hurt-!”

“I’m scared to die again,” Takeru admits, like that wasn’t something anyone would be afraid of, even if they’d already died once. “But I’m more scared of seeing Akari die.” As he finished his declaration, his belt appeared around his waist once more. Something comes flying to him, the Eyecon that he’d given Masamune earlier. He stares at it for a moment, before realizing that he could transform again.

Ore! Let's go! Kakugo! Go Go Go! Ghost! Go! Go! Go! Go!

Given that Ghost has the ability to fly, he’s able to easily avoid the giant Pac-Man’s attacks. Watching Ghost fight, Emu wonders if he should even try to help. He’d hesitated enough earlier that Togo had gotten captured… But still, if Takeru was willing to risk his life for Akari, then Emu should be willing to at least try to help. He activates the Gashats.

Kaigan! Ghost!

Let's Ride! Metcha Ride! Mutcha Ride! What's your Ride? I'm a Legend Rider!

Choosing the character on the player select screen that greatly resembles Ghost, the armor begins to appear around Emu.

Level Up! Inochi moyasu! Kakugo Kimeru! Ore ga Ghost!

Joining Takeru now, the two attempt to fight Pac-Man. Eventually, Takeru calls out, asking Pac-Man to snap out of the virus’ control, though that didn’t do much. If anything, it might have made Pac-Man more upset, but it was hard to tell. After, Takeru pulls out the Para-DX Eyecon he’d shown Emu earlier, using it to transform into a form that looked a bit like Para-DX.

The pair enter Pac-Man’s mouth, finding a maze not unlike in Pac-Man’s games. Inside, their able to fight the virus controlling Pac-Man, using a finishing attack to destroy it. As they leave, they see that Pac-Man’s smiling at them, before he disappears.

---

Everyone made it back to the hospital in one piece, at least. While defeating the virus infecting Pac-Man cured everyone who’d been infected by the Pac-Mans of their Game Disease, Akari and Takeru were still infected by Hatena. The only way they were going to cure that was to defeat Hatena and that would probably also result in having to defeat Zaizen.

Zaizen, a man who Emu had never thought he’d even have to get near again. He supposed he was right about those involved six years ago getting infected and dying, though he’d have never thought that they’d come back as Bugsters. Though, he did wonder how Takeru learned who Dr. Pac-Man was. He’d ask, but frankly he was more hoping that Takeru would find a way to actually rest.

But still… that wasn’t exactly what was bugging him, either. What was bugging him was…

“Are you alright?” Poppy calls, which strangely prompts Mu, who still sits at the table, though now playing what sounds like Mighty Action X, to pause and watch the two.

“I couldn’t save Togo,” Emu admits, “I hesitated too much and now…”

“Emu…”

Shaking his head, Emu holds in his tears, “I’ll be fine, Poppy. You’ve got things to do, don’t worry about me.”

Hesitantly, Poppy leaves. Emu’s not even sure why he’s bothering at this point. If he’d just teleported out of the grasp of Zaizen’s goon… Then he might have been able to save Togo.

He can feel someone staring at him. Looking up, he sees Mu looking at him, though Mu quickly looks away when he’s caught. After a moment, Mu asks, “Para-DX,” There’s something that rings uncomfortably familiar when Mu says his Rider name, “Why did you become a doctor?”

---

Poppy’s trying to shoo Kiriya out of the CR, like the fact he’s generally not supposed to be there had ever stopped him. Which, honestly, confused Kiriya. They invite Nico, but not him? Not that Kiriya cared much.

Instead, he can’t help but wonder, “Wonder why Masamune tasked his assistant with making sure the Proto Gashats are retrieved?”

“Does it matter?” Poppy asked annoyed.

“It’s strange, certainly.”

---

Eight hours. The clock in Akari’s room read eight hours left before the twenty-four hours was up. If Togo was infected with Hatena’s virus then… They had eight hours left to save him, as well as Akari and Takeru.

Mu stands in front of him, “Ghost has left, you know. He told his friends he’s going to Zaizen’s hideout.”

Standing, Emu looks at Mu, “Thank you, I need to go meet up with him.”

As Emu leaves the CR, he hears Mu call after him and the sound of running footsteps, “I’m coming with you!” Mu says, “To make sure you get the Gashats back from Zaizen!”

Finally, Emu meets up with Takeru, Mu following behind breathless, and they head to Zaizen’s base. They’re greeted with a man, who Emu thinks is… odd.

“Took you guys long enough,” The man says. There’s something about the man that just seems a bit too off. Emu can’t quite place what, though.

But Takeru just smiles at the man, “Haruto,” He says, “What are you doing out here?”

The man, Haruto, told them his plan. He’d convinced Zaizen to let him be lookout for them. Emu thought that Zaizen was terribly gullible if he was so easily convinced to let a complete stranger be lookout, but he wasn’t going to complain. Easier on them.

“I’m Wizard, by the way,” Haruto says as he begins to lead them into the base. Emu wonders if he has magic too, because that would add to the list of “Riders with really on the nose names”. At this point, Emu would definitely believe in magic.

Glancing back at Mu, Emu tells him, “Mu, you should stay out here, it’ll be safer.”

“But the Proto Gashats-!” He tries to protest, before cutting himself off, “Ah, well, I guess I… yeah… you’re probably right… they might notice me… this time.” Emu wonders what he means by this time, but instead just gives Mu a smile and a promise that they’ll be as quick as they can.

Once their inside, Zaizen and his goons quickly realize they’ve been tricked, which they probably should have saw coming. The three Riders are forced to fight the goons, to varying levels of success. Takeru’s fighting some Bugsters that Hatena had summoned, only for them to get shot.

The one who shot the Bugster was a man in a suit, with a gun. Police, it seemed. Takeru seemed to recognize him too, “Shinnosuke!”

“Even though I can’t transform,” Shinnosuke says, “I’m still a Kamen Rider and I can still help!” Emu thinks this must be where Takeru learned his mentality earlier from.

The last of Zaizen’s goons appear, knocking down Shinnosuke. Takeru helps him up, but before either can try to fight him, a man in samurai armor themed around oranges crashes through the ceiling, holding some kind of belt.

“You’re here?” Haruto asked, “Didn’t think you would come.”

The orange samurai holds out the belt to Shinnosuke, to which the belt, surprisingly, cheered, “Shinnosuke!” The face on it’s display showing a happy face. Well that’s… something.

“Mr. Belt?” Shinnosuke wondered, “How?”

“Gaim came and retrieved me, saying my help was needed again.”

Shinnosuke blinked, then had a look on his face that meant that he’d gotten his answer, “Well what else should I have expected from a space god?” Emu paused for a moment at that. Space god? You know what? This might as well just happen. This is the crazy shit his life is now.

As Shinnosuke and Mr. Belt spoke, a bit, Haruto looked at Takeru and Emu, who were standing off to the side watching these interactions and said, “Takeru, Emu,” Then gestures to the fruit Rider, “This is Gaim. Gaim, this is Takeru and Emu, Ghost and Para-DX.”

Distracting them from… whatever they were doing now, Zaizen began to speak, holding up the Bugvisor in his hand, a terrified looking Togo in inside it. Togo was glitching, more so than any normal person infected with Game Disease should be. “I’ll combined his DNA with Game Disease,” Zaizen declared, “Creating a perfect lifeform immune to all disease!” That was crazy sounding, but given Game Disease’s… everything, Emu didn’t think it was impossible. “Then, I’ll give the treatment to everyone.”

“That’s not how medicine works!” Emu yells, clenching his fists, “You can’t just do that to people without giving them a choice!”

Zaizen doesn’t respond. Instead, his goons use three of the Prototype Gashats, Taddle Quest, Gekitotsu Robots, and Giri Giri Chambara, to transform into their Bugster forms. Behind them, Zaizen too transforms into Genomes. The four untransformed Riders pulls out their belts and devices, ready to transform.

Mighty Action X!

Drive Type Speed!

Flame, Please! Hi-Hi, Hi-Hi-Hi!

Ore! Let's go! Kakugo! Go Go Go! Ghost! Go! Go! Go! Go!

Level up! Mighty jump! Mighty kick! Mighty-Mighty Action X!

Drive’s armor was red and black, with a tire flying onto his shoulder and across his body. Wizard was primarily red and black, with a tailcoat and crystal like design on his helmet. Before any of the five Riders could do anything, Hatena uses a Stage Select to sends Drive, Wizard, and Gaim alongside Zaizen’s goons to different stages. That left just Ghost and Para-DX to fight Genomes and Hatena.

---

Mu watches from his position against the wall as Ghost and Para-DX begin to fight Genomes and Hatena. He knows he told them that he’d stay outside, but he really couldn’t care less whether Genomes was defeated, so long as he could retrieve the Prototype Gashats. Of course, three of them were being used by Zaizen’s lackeys, but he could still get the other five. Admittedly, though, he had been expecting someone to notice him sooner, but apparently the Kamen Riders weren’t very observant.

Ghost changes form and couple times and Para-DX levels up to Level 3, yet neither Hatena nor Genomes seem terribly effected. But the four are busy with each other, so Mu uses this opportunity to make his way towards a sort of desk area. There, he finds the briefcase with the five Gashats.

He glances up, seeing Para-DX use a Gekitotsu Critical Strike on Genomes, but Genomes just blasts him away, knocking him out of his transformation and to the ground. Mighty Action X skitters across the floor, prompting Genomes to walk over to it and pick it up. Against Hatena, Ghost changes form again and again, only for what was clearly supposed to be a strong attack to get blocked by Hatena. He changes form again, this time to a sparkly one and tries to attack again, only for Hatena to fire a beam, knocking him out of his transformation.

Still, Ghost rises, making his way towards Hatena. Even when so beaten and close to death, he still tried to fight Hatena. And for what? Mu wondered. For his own life? For his friend who was infected? He’d risk his own life for her. Mu supposed… If Mu were in his position, then he would too. So he can’t judge Ghost.

Yet when it seemed that Ghost was done for, Hatena firing a beam at him once more, Ghost just. Disappeared, only one of his funny spheres left behind. What? Soon Ghost returned in a flash, holding a new sphere.

Nobunaga, Hideyoshi, Ieyasu! Hatasunowa itsu! Tenka Touitsu!

Mu watches as Ghost began to fight Hatena once more, this time truly having enough power to stand a chance against the Bugster. Really, he seemed to be stronger than Hatena. Which Mu supposed was good.

Though he probably shouldn’t get so distracted watching the fight he wasn’t supposed to be anywhere near. After all, he needed to get these Gashats out of here. Before Genomes decides to do something… Speaking of… Where the hell was Genomes?

The chainsaw end of a Bugvisor is held to Mu’s throat from behind him. He can see the hand and arm of who it belonged to, realizing it was Genomes. A voice spoke from behind him, quietly in his ear. “I know who you are now…” He says, “At first, I thought Para-DX was you. But now I see. Masamune thought he was clever?”

With a terrible, sinking feeling, Mu realizes he recognizes that voice. He’d only ever heard it once but… He freezes, whispering, “No… You’re the one who…”

A dark room. Scientists and doctors, all dressed in white. They’re on the floor, writhing in pain, glitching. A confused teenager, waking up in pain and fear. The ever-present voice in his head, whispering, “It’s your fault”.

Snapping himself out of his thoughts, he pulls out his Gamer Driver and the Proto Mighty Action X Gashat. He had to hurry and transform, his mind told him in a panic. He knew he wasn’t strong enough to beat Genomes, but he could at least get away, at least-

Genomes grabs Mu’s hands with the hand that isn’t holding the Bugvisor, taking away the Proto Gashat.

Para-DX stands, glaring at Genomes. “Let Togo and Mu go!”

Behind Mu, Genomes scoffs, “Why would you go so far to try to save them?”

“Because they both love games. I want to share that with them and see them smile!” Para-DX declared, “I want Togo to be able to continue making games and smile!”

Inside the Bugvisor, Mu can hear something. He can feel it too, there’s a drastic change. Then, Togo somehow projects himself in front of them, from the Bugvisor. In doing this, he’s clearly weakening Genomes slightly.

“Thank you for trying so hard to save me,” Togo says, “I’m sorry I didn’t listen earlier.”

Shaking his head, Para-DX responds, “It’s fine,” He gives Togo a smile, “I’ll do whatever I can to save you.”

“Save me, please,” With that, Genomes forces Togo back into the Bugvisor, prompting Mu to wince. That couldn’t have been pleasant. Then he realized the next sounds he heard. Dual sounds of both the Proto and finished Mighty Action X Gashats being activated. What was Genomes doing?

He realizes what was happening as he sees Para-DX’s eyes widen in fear, calling out, “No!”

Mu looks down, seeing as Genomes placed the two Gashats into his Gamer Driver and flipped the lever. Genomes let go of him, causing him to stumble forward, gasping. It hurt. It hurt so badly. His body was glitching and glitching and there was something rising over him. He couldn’t explain it but-

---

Emu has no choice but to watch in horror as Mu stumbled and cried out in pain as his body began to glitch. The Prototype Gashats alone could cause the user pain, but both the Prototype alongside the complete on someone without the compatibility surgery? He was amazed Mu was still standing, though he wondered when Zaizen had gotten a Gamer Driver.

“When I awoke,” Genomes said, “One of my biggest goals, alongside completing my research, was to get revenge on the one who did this to me.” Emu couldn’t believe he’d go so far to get revenge on him. To harm someone else… Well maybe he shouldn’t be surprised.

The glitching around Mu changes, now oddly orange and blue. Then, something knocks Genome back, and the glitching around Mu begins to take a definitive form. They can’t deal with another Bugster right now… Only it’s not another Bugster. Instead, Mu splits and now standing is something that looks like two Kamen Riders. One blue, one orange.

Genomes is clearly shocked by the turn of events, Emu was too. Though Genomes didn’t have a lot of time to think on it, as the two Riders turned and began to fight him. While the two Riders fought him, Ghost continued to fight Hatena with his new form.

Finally, Takeru defeats Hatena, causing a Game Clear. That meant he, Togo, and Akari were cured now. At least he and Akari. The two new Riders defeat Genomes, knocking away the Bugvisor. Togo is freed of it, seeming tired but no longer infected.

Then, the two Riders combine together once more, leaving Mu on the floor. Emu and Takeru rush over, hoping that whatever happened hadn’t killed Mu yet. Mu squints at them, letting out a groan, “Ugh… what… what the… ouch.” He finally settles on.

The two help him up, “We need to get you back to the hospital,” Emu said.

Mu grumbles a bit, “’M fine…” He said weakly, “…Just… owie…”

Alongside helping Mu out, they help Togo. They encounter the three Riders who helped them and thanked them. Then they found Poppy, who was still carrying Akari, with Takeru’s friends with them.

“Akari!” Takeru smiled, then collapsed. Handing Togo and Mu off to the others, Emu immediately began chest compressions. He kept it up, even when Onari told him to stop. He wouldn’t let Takeru die. Even as he could hear Poppy start to cry, even as he began to cry.

Then, Takeru sputters to life. Emu gives him a smile, “I’m your doctor, I’m not letting you die.”

“Thank you,” Takeru says, though a bit weak, “I’ll make sure to use this life well.”

Groaning again, Mu says something that sounds a bit like “what about the Gashats?” before he promptly passes out himself, his glitching increasing. Emu remembers what happened and they rush to get everyone back to the hospital.

---

Takeru and his friends have gone home, though all of the CR Riders remained. They’re worried about Mu, who’s infection level is already incredibly high. They think it’s because of the use of both versions of Mighty Action X, but no one’s sure. They haven’t seen a Bugster, so there’s not much they can do about it.

“Doesn’t matter now,” Nico says, almost sounding sad as she looked through the window into the patient room.

Kiriya looked at her surprised, “What do you mean?”

She gestures vaguely into the room and answers, “He’s gone.”

Looking into the patient room, it’s clear that there isn’t a sign of Mu. They can only assume he succumbed to his Game Disease. And there’d been nothing they could do to help him.

Sadly, Saki sighed, “I’ll return the Proto Gashats to Masamune and inform him. Hopefully he can tell us how to get in contact with Mu’s family.”

“Are you sure?” Taiga asked, though he received a flat look in response.

“Yes, now you all should call it a day.”

---

Saki enters Masamune’s office with a grave look on her face, briefcase of Gashats in hand. Masamune is certainly surprised to see her.

“I was expecting Mu,” He said.

“He was infected by Zaizen,” She said, “Forced to use both the prototype and the complete Mighty Action X Gashats at once. He disappeared too quickly, there was nothing we could do. We did retrieve the Gashats, though.”

Masamune examines the contents of the briefcase, then says, “I see,” In a terribly unconcerned manner, “I’ll ensure his… family is informed.”

She’s startled by how little he seemed to care but… “Then I’ll be leaving you.”

---

When Mu had woken up, he’d been in the CR’s patient room. Which was bad. He hurt, terribly, but he couldn’t stay. Quietly, he retrieved his Gashat and Gamer Driver, thankfully unnoticed by the Riders and left. As much as he would like to do something to them, so they could understand his pain at Graphite’s death, he doesn’t have the energy. He’s in too much pain, even by his standards.

Somehow, he’d made it back to the hideout, though he stumbled the whole way. He just hurt and hurt. Even his thought hurt. It was terrible and he could never remember something so painful. When he’d gotten back, he’d made it into the room, well into the doorway, when his legs just. Gave out.

Kuroto, though startled, managed to catch him, “What happened?” He sounded horribly worried. Mu felt bad about making him worried.

“Uhm… well… the, uh… science guy… he… put two Gashats in… the uh…. Proto and the finished… and, uh… ouch.” Mu mumbled while Kuroto helped him to the nest, which was still pretty much his bed, “And uh… I dunno… pain? I hurt…”

Taking the Gamer Driver and Gashat from Mu, Kuroto pulls a blanket over him. “Rest,” He said, “I’ll hold on to these for now. I have a use for them, anyway.”

“Mkay,” Mu muttered, “I… hurt.”

Kuroto couldn’t help but watch for a moment, seeing all the glitching. He’s never seen Mu this bad. Still, he regards the Proto Mighty Action X Gashat thoughtfully, “The prototype and completed Gashats at once?” He sighs, “I’ll need to look more into that.”

---

“Yo, Ace!” Kiriya greets Emu at a park bench. Emu wasn’t in his usual appearance, instead letting his actual appearance be seen, rather than his Emu disguise. He smiles at Kiriya, though it doesn’t seem quite right. “Something wrong?”

Hesitantly, Emu answers, “I was thinking about Mu,”

“Yeah,” Kiriya agrees, “It sucks what happened to him.”

“Not just that,” Emus says, “But it’s what happened when we were fighting Genomes. He put a Driver on Mu and put both of the Gashats in… But then Mu split and became two Riders. He – they – they were the ones to defeat Genomes and save Togo.”

Kiriya looks at him in shock, “No way,” He peers over his sunglasses, “You’re joking.”

Shaking his head, Emu can’t agree, “No, that’s what happened.”

“…But how?”

“I don’t know…” Emu fiddles with the cords around his jacket, “But also… This isn’t the first time I encountered Zaizen.”

“It’s not?” Kiriya didn’t really see why Emu would have ever met Zaizen before.

Glancing at Kiriya, Emu begins to explain, “He was the one… he was the one who separated Emu and I six years ago,” He rushes to finish his explanation. “I didn’t realize at first, not until he’d said what had happened to them.”

“It would line up with what you’ve said,” Kiriya can’t help but admit that it lines up scarily well. He wonders if it’s all coincidence that Zaizen returned now or what. And what about Mu? He’d have to look more into him, especially since it sounds like Masamune wasn’t too concerned about his apparent death.

He’d asked Nico to look into Mu, but Nico couldn’t find anything, not with just Mu. By the looks of it, Mu wasn’t his actual name. Then again, Masamune had never said it was. It was just strange. He’d have to go to Gemn Corp himself and ask around.

But that was for later. Right now, he was spending time with Ace.

“Cheer up,” Kiriya says, resisting the urge to throw his arm around Emu. “These things happen. There’s nothing we can do about. Besides, you saved Togo, Akari, and Takeru, alongside all those infected by Pac-Man.” A phrase he’d never have thought he’d have to say.

Still, Emu didn’t seem entirely assured, “Yeah, I guess so,” He sighed still, “I’m just… that form that Genomes created with Mu and the two Gashats… It was so strong, but why? And how come Mu wasn’t immediately killed?”

“Hell if I know,” Kiriya sighs, “But as it is, we aren’t going to get much in the way of answers.”

At that, Emu smiles, “I guess,” He looks over at Kiriya, “Thanks for that. And for being willing to spend time with me… like this.”

“No problem, Ace. When you’re not suspicious, you make good company.”

Emu rolls his eyes and laughs, “Sure, Kiriya, sure.”

#kamen rider ex aid #kamen rider exaid #kamen rider #kamen rider ghost #my writing #there is a me who can become strong

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moodysnowflake · 4 years

Text

Hello there!

Warning guys, nasty SPOILERS ahead, both of FFVII (+ Remake) and FFVII Crisis Core.

The severity of spoilers is arguable, it depends on the level of involvement you have or you got in the series, so please be aware that what you're stepping onto might be a wildflower lawn as much as a war minefield.

I saw, read and heard a lot of people complaining about Cloud's dancing scene/minigame, grumbling about how:

1. Stupid it was;

2. Degrading it has been;

3. Zack would have been disappointed.

Let's take it in strides, shall we?

1. Stupid? I'd rather say silly, more than stupid. Stupid means doing something that you've no idea how/why you're doing. FFVII never made that a mystery: there was a goofy vibe in the original too, and that was on purpose. You couldn't handle the story otherwise, it would just have been a mess of violence, death, tears and blood. Light moods are needed for you to recuperate, recharge batteries and balance. Otherwise, we all would've ended up like Sephiroth.

Character perspective wise, Cloud might not have understood from the beginning (as much as I love him to the bottom of my essence, he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer - that's also why Sephiroth can do what the fluff he wants) what the hell Aerith roped him into, but when he gets the idea he accepts it (in his very Cloud way) and faces it with one of the most determined look he has ever sported. He's willing to let himself be dragged on and about the stage by Andrea, because he knows this is for Tifa, so it doesn't matter if he has to shake is ass in front of a bunch of strangers. He never really cared about his reputation since Crisis Core; he doesn't care about what people think, he's doing it for the woman he loves (shut your trap, he loves her as much as she loves him, he just needs time to untangle himself from his nightmares - and someone smacking him on the head really hard).

Secondly, player perspective wise, is it really such a stupid section? How many did manage to get a perfect score on the very first try? Camera speed, moves and angles pulled some interesting stunts, didn't they? Tricking your depth perception, together with the lights going bananas. Even if they weren't; everything has been coordinated and perfectly synced with the music. If you'd refrained for two seconds from blabbering insults you would have noticed that you could've actually used lights as another cue to help you sync, with the music and Cloud's movements. It's called peripheral vision, you need to expand your focus as much as you can and split it both on the background and the forefront. That gives your brain the capacity to better throw information at you so you can react faster, 'cause you're actively trying to remain perceptive of your surroundings too. Just like in battles.

If that shooting dynamic would have been present during battle, nobody would have survived, not even a doomrat.

2. Talking about degrading. Did Cloud strip naked? Did he have to put on a honeybee outfit? As much as he was very uncomfortable, Andrea (a.k.a. the game) pushed him only up to the limit that still felt secure enough and over which it could have been really perceived as abusive. Andrea could have done that and Cloud would still have obliged (because Tifa) but his objective was not humiliating him. He wanted to play with the dangerous SOLDIER, over which he, paradoxically, even for a tiny bit, had the power and control. Still, he didn't overdo nor overuse it (that is some good representation of a BDSM Dom, btw).

Moreover... I mean... Did you really look at him? Those were not exactly noobs moves, he nailed that too (but that's something I'll talk about next).

About the dresses: are you seriously complaining about them? I admit that the black/white one is not exactly the best (but it's your fault for ditching all Wall Market's quest... you had it coming), and I prefer the blue corset one over the lilac/black silk.

Point is: you have to sneak a guy who's built like a fucking BRICK WALL into Corneo's audition. How in the ever-loving hell are you supposed to do it? The only things playing in Cloud's favor are his facial features and his height: he's the smoothest skin I've ever seen, light jaws and is compact enough not to stand out too much among average-height girls, but that's it. He has shoulders and muscles for days. You have to cover him as much as you can, and how would you do that, if not with a broad gown, puff-sleeves, and a corset? If you're wondering about the chocker/high neck+thick necklace: it covers the Adam's apple, genius... And all the frilly, shiny laces of the lilac dress and the extensions are needed to divert the attention from his neck, clavicles and forearms, otherwise, you'll notice the buff.

That's why he had to look like a Victorian maiden.

Putting him in a catsuit, with latex or leather stretching over every inch of skin, or a sundress, with arms and legs on display... That would have been a bad idea.

Andrea is talking about not being afraid, and that's an awesome message: if you feel comfortable and beautiful, why not doing it? If you're happy, do it. It's not your problem if other people are insecure about themselves and try to pick on you because they're afraid and, most of all, jealous of your confidence, identity, and fortitude. They're just disrespectful and sad, and you should avoid them like the plague.

And again, Cloud doesn't seem that much fazed about it. I think he's more annoyed than anything; having to move in that huge-ass skirt, squeezed in a corset which is not letting you breathe and turn around would make everyone who's not used to it lose their shit. Women or men, regardless, it's a pain either way, especially if you're a fighter and need to move freely. Also, if you notice, the heels he's put in are not that much higher than his combat boots... Sure, they're thinner, but that's why he's not wobbling like a newborn calf. Did you see him swaying through the streets? That was some awesome heel-walking.

What ended me was how he was moving after he woke up. Have you seen how completely ungraceful he is, and at the same time fluidly stands to check on Aerith and doesn't trip over his own feet? In a dress like that, being that agile is shamefully amazing. Then, he swings like he's in the SOLDIER uniform, spine blocked because of the corset, moving his center of gravity too much because of too broad steps, awkwardly bobbing, switching too much weight from feet to feet, getting his stance rigid. That's precious. And hilarious af.

He has to held still as much as he can to try and convey the feeling of being scared, but we know he's just trying really hard not to wreak havoc in the audition room and slaughter everyone.

(Despise lighting, which being warm oriented would have mingled with the blue of his irises and shift them to green, I still believe that in that scene his eyes were going mako. In some millisecond-split moments, they seem to really flash out. That's hella relatable: you're using all your self-control not to cut open the scumbag who's lusting and sniffing and drooling and being awful to your friends. Plus, you're being groped and talked down too? The only thing you can do is look, and boy does he Glare™

(Cloud is not afraid/disgusted of other men touching him, but people seem to forget it. He just doesn't want Corneo to touch him. He doesn't move when Andrea touches his lips nor react when he swings him around in the dress, he doesn't move when Biggs pats him on the head on the pillar (I bet he would give everything to have Zack do that again, just one more time...dammit [I know what happens in the final cutscene of the Remake, but the post below this one explains why I think this]), he doesn't pull away when he grabs his hands, and not only he grabs it back, but grasps with the other one too. [Captain Levi vibes, anyone?])

He didn't have control over his eyes and I firmly think he didn't even intend to; he let them glow on purpose, just because that was the only thing he could unleash and nobody would have noticed.)

Cloud dancing is not stupid, nor offensive. Cloud is a loyal, caring friend, who doesn't have prejudices and is comfortable (as much as he can be) with his sexuality and identity that he's not questioning it nor getting scared (and violent) at the situation.

Do I have to dance and dress like a woman to help my girl? If it's the best way, so be it. She needs my help, I'm not gonna let her down. Gonna be a pain in the ass to fight, but I'll manage. I'm not that insecure of myself that a dress is going to make me have an existential crisis.

If you're a man or a male, and your friend/lover/person you cherish would ever be in a life-threatening situation (and this is, 'cause if they were on their own, they would have died), and the only option would be for you to dance and put on a dress to save them, but you refuse because you have to dance and it's a dress... Just a fucking dress... Well... You're not that decent of a friend, nor human being...

3. So. About Zack. If you think he would've been disappointed/disgusted... Are we talking about the same character? 'Cause I think we're not.

Zack Fair, SOLDIER 1st class (previously 2nd), 6 foot and a ladder, black hair, blue eyes, scar on his left jaw. Droll af?

Just because he's a legend, a powerful, passionate and strong-willed person, doesn't mean he couldn't be a quirky dumbass.

The first line said to him in Crisis Core is "Get serious" by Angeal... Angeal who described him to his mother as a PUPPY.

The same guy who jostled his mentor, a fucking SOLDIER 1st class, in front of their boss, when he knew he recommended him.

The same guy who tried to get Aerith on a date after 5 minutes.

The one who grabs a parasol to fight troopers without breaking a sweat.

The one who faked defeat by sixth-grade-Yuffie in Wutai.

The one who dances with the Cactua he summons?

When Angeal discusses the plan and tells him to charge the front gate of Wutai on the first game mission, he's jumping like an over-excited dog.

And, most importantly, the only living being who actually managed to:

- Make Sephiroth care (after Hollander with implanted Jenova cells escapes, he tells Zack Genesis’ copies had been seen in the slums... And with that frigging Knowing™ look, and a smirk, he tells him "Permission to return... Granted", Seph's gentlemanly way to say 'I know you have a girlfriend down there, you should go check on her':

Then Sephiroth says goodbye first

And fucking smiles (Zack wasn’t able to see it ‘cause he was already walking away)

- Yell at him over the phone and live;

- Pull a GENUINE laugh out of him. When they're trying to locate Angeal and Genesis, Sephiroth calls him. The conversation goes as:

S:"You and I are gonna find them [Gen & Angie] before they [Shinra] do, and..."

Z:'And WHAT?!?!' *angry bark, to which Sephirot pulls the phone away*

S:"...Fail to eliminate them"

Z:'For real?!'

S:"[AMUSED HUFF] Yes, for real" *playful mocking of Zack's words*

Okay, that was a huff, BUT STILL... Not even Sephiroth (when he was still a human being...because yes, he was, and a pretty decent one too) was immune to his Puppy Dog Energy. Look. At. That. Smile.

So this is what I think.

The only thing Zack would be disappointed about would've been Cloud not dancing enough.

Heck, he would've jumped on the stage as soon as given the signal and dragged Cloud along, yelling in his face to be heard over the music "This is gonna be great! Let's show them what a SOLDIER can do! We're gonna put all these cute bees to shame!" ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

Then again... If Zack would've been there...if we think about it, a part of Zack was there.

During his childhood and infantry training, I seriously doubt Cloud had any occasion to dance or learn how to do it.

Plus, he couldn't have done it during his 4-years mako-comatose state.

This doesn't leave that many options.

It is very likely that, like his fighting ability, his dancing moves were coming from Zack's memories too.

In a way, we can say that Zack, in the end, was there on stage with him.

Gosh, I'm gonna cry so much... ಥ_ಥ

#ffvii remake #ffvii theories #cloud strife #honeybee inn #cloud dancer #zack fair #me gongaga #ffvii crisis core #ffvii compilation

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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15 Hardest PlayStation One Games of All-Time

https://ift.tt/3o3aW0n

The PlayStation is fondly remembered for its classic collection of revolutionary games, advancements in 3D technology, and CD player functionality that let you easily play the Men in Black soundtrack whenever you wanted. As you’ve probably guessed from the title of this article, though, it’s also the home of some of the hardest games of the ’90s.

The PlayStation may have helped move us out of the arcade era and its notorious difficulty levels, but with the challenges of 3D game design came a new set of in-game challenges that tested a generation of gamers in ways that they simply were not prepared for.

Even after we’ve grown accustomed to the machinations and expectations of 3D game design all these years later, I suspect that many modern gamers would struggle to beat the 15 hardest PlayStation One games ever.

15. Crash Bandicoot

One of the funniest things about the release of 2017’s Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy was watching everyone suddenly remember that the Crash Bandicoot games were absurdly difficult.

Despite their linear design, the Crash Bandicoot games demanded a level of platforming perfection that proved to be elusive enough at a time when modern video game graphics, cameras, and controls made the remakes of the Crash Bandicoot games much more accessible but was nearly impossible to achieve in the early days of PlayStation gaming.

The later Crash Bandicoot games made things slightly easier, but the first title’s combination of intentionally challenging obstacles and a few questionable design decisions make it one of the most truly difficult games of its era.

14. Fear Effect

The original Fear Effect games are awkward to play today for a lot of reasons (casual racism and strange “softcore” cutscenes, for instance), but if you find yourself struggling to make it through these titles, it’s not just because they haven’t aged especially well. Fear Effect was an incredibly difficult game even for its time.

Essentially a blend of Resident Evil-like controls, point and click adventure puzzles, and awkward stealth sequences, Fear Effect is like a Hall of Fame for the most challenging and infuriating gameplay concepts of its era.

Fear Effect 2 might even be harder than the first game, but the nod here goes to the original for featuring one of the most uniquely difficult gaming experiences the PlayStation has to offer.

13. Driver

22 years after its release, I’m still convinced that Driver is a prank. How else can you explain developer Reflections Interactive’s decision to make this game’s tutorial mission one of the hardest levels in video game history?

Driver’s first level requires you to complete a series of complex maneuvers in a confined space while racing against a way too short time limit. To make matters worse, the game often fails to recognize when you’ve properly completed a maneuver, which means that you might not pass the test even if you’ve somehow mastered the game’s most complex movies the first time you’re ever asked to perform them.

If you’re one of the many who has never beaten Driver’s opening level, you may be shocked to find that there are difficulty spikes later in the game that are even more difficult than its notorious opener. At least this game is still better than the sequel.

12. Oddworld: Abe’s Odyssey

Oddworld’s unique puzzles and strange core mechanics would have made it challenging enough for players just trying to figure out what’s expected of them, but this game goes one step further by employing some of the most unforgiving level design tactics in PlayStation history.

Your margin for error in this game rarely rises above zero as gunfire and traps constantly threaten to end your fun. While that kind of unforgiving gameplay makes sense in something like a bullet hell title, it can be frustrating to work with in a puzzle game where your trial and error attempts are hindered by an additional series of wrong moves.

Oddworld: Abe’s Odyssey is clearly meant to be a difficult game, but knowing that doesn’t make it feel any less unforgiving.

11. Rayman

As strange as it may seem given the evolution of the franchise over the years, the original Rayman is by far one of the hardest games of the ‘90s and arguably one of the hardest platformer games ever made.

Unlike other platformers that challenge you with rewarding gameplay that requires precision movements, most of Rayman’s challenges can be best described as “bulls***.” The slippery slopes and spiked pits spread generously throughout levels might kill you, but the game’s bizarre enemy spawning system that makes it practically impossible to anticipate their placement certainly will.

If Rayman isn’t one of the hardest games ever made its certainty among the most frustrating.

10. Vagrant Story

For years, fans have called Vagrant Story one of the most underrated PlayStation games and one of the most overlooked RPGs ever made. It deserves both those titles, but I think Vagrant Story also deserves to be remembered as an absurdly difficult epic.

Initially, the challenge of Vagrant Story comes from learning its unique combat system that often leaves you feeling helpless. Even after you’ve made sense of the basics, Vagrant Story’s brutal bosses, clever traps, and even “basic” enemies will constantly make you wonder whether or not you can ever really master what this game throws at you.

Like Dark Souls, Vagrant Story’s difficulty is very much part of what makes the game work as well as it does. Appreciating that doesn’t make the game any easier, though.

9. Heart of Darkness

Never heard of Heart of Darkness? I’m not surprised. Even for its time, this was a relatively obscure title that is now fondly remembered for its visuals, excellent story, and interesting gameplay. Mostly, though, Heart of Darkness is remembered for its nearly unrivaled difficulty spikes.

In fact, Heart of Darkness could give Driver a run for its money in the battle between games with the most absurdly difficult opening levels. Enemies swarm you in this opening section like you’re playing a bullet hell shooter, but the game controls like a particularly clunky FMV puzzler. Even if you know what you’re doing, it’s incredibly difficult to respond to the on-screen action in time.

Things get slightly better from there, but I’d still say that most gamers will not have the patience for this game’s labyrinth levels, bewildering puzzles, and often painful controls.

8. Blasto

To be fair to Blasto, this PS1 action game was probably released a generation before technology could properly support it. In another timeline, it might have turned out to be as good as the first Ratchet and Clank game. To be even fairer to Blasto, it starred the late Phil Hartman who always went above and beyond for everything he did, including the voice work for this game.

With all of that out of the way, let’s focus on Blasto’s real reputation as one of the PS1’s most reliable sources of broken controllers. It’s bad enough that this game’s slow movements and dodgy camera make even basic sections challenging, but the fact that many levels have no barriers to speak of means you spend most of your time falling to your death while trying to complete even simple jumps.

This is a truly painful gaming experience that snared many unsuspecting gamers with its charm and front-loaded good ideas.

Games

15 Hardest Sega Genesis Games of All-Time

By Matthew Byrd

Games

15 Hardest SNES Games of All-Time

By Matthew Byrd

7. Einhander

While not the most difficult 2D shoot ‘em up ever made, Einhander was high-profile enough to lure in many early PS1 adopters who were completely unprepared for its retro difficulty level.

Rather than throw as many enemies at you as possible and call it a day, Einhander increases the health pool of the average enemy while requiring you to navigate some truly devastating death zones. The impact of that design decision really comes thorugh in the game’s boss fights which task you with taking down massive foes who employ complex and shifting attack strategies.

This is a truly great game that stands the test of time, but don’t let its looks and sounds convince you that Einhander is anything less than a classic example of “NES hard.”

6. Irritating Stick

Yes, the game’s title gives its difficulty level away, but to truly appreciate how frustrating Irritating Stick is, you’ve got to play it for yourself.

Irritating Stick is like a blend of Super Monkey Ball and the board game Operation. It requires you to guide a small ball through a series of themed mazes that leave you almost no room to safely maneuver. To make matters worse, you have to race against a constantly ticking clock that’s absurd restrictions essentially require you to truly master this game within a few levels. Of course, true mastery may not be possible for most players as each level seems to add a new wrinkle that makes you wonder how you will ever get through in time.

Oh, and I have to give a special shout-out to the game’s announcer who screams “Watch out, you’re too close to the edge!” whenever you’re near the game’s barriers. Yes, I know I’m too close to the edge, now kindly leave me the **** alone.

5. Incredible Crisis

Remember that scene in Metal Gear Solid when you had to mash the Circle button to survive the torture device until it felt like your wrist was going to break? Well, imagine that scene stretched out across most of a full game. That’s Incredible Crisis.

Incredible Crisis is a collection of eclectic minigames that often require you to mash buttons as fast as humanly possible. Actually, I take that back. No human can be expected to survive this gauntlet of finger destroying terror. Oh, and if a minigame doesn’t require you to furiously mash buttons, that means it’s only going to destroy you in some other strange way.

The bizarre set of skills required to beat this game means that it may even frustrate gamers who otherwise seek such challenges.

4. Tomb Raider 3

Yes, the first two Tomb Raider games are difficult. However, part of their challenge (especially today) stems from their ambitious design which was often ahead of what you could reasonably expect from video game technology at the time.

Tomb Raider 3 is on a different (difficulty) level, though. Even if the game didn’t add a ridiculous number of spikes, boulders, pits, and traps waiting to end your run before you know they’re there, its bewildering level design that tried to recreate the experience of having no idea what you’re doing in the middle of a dark tomb has broken even diehard series fans.

Despite its better moments and incredible pedigree, it’s genuinely hard to recommend this game to anyone but masochists. I genuinely don’t know if it’s possible to beat this game without a strategy guide or walkthrough.

3. Nightmare Creatures

There’s a degree to which early PlayStation games were fundamentally unprepared to handle the challenges of 3D action/adventure game design. That means that any additional difficulties added to that underlying level of challenge make some games of that era nearly impossible to properly play today.

I guess that’s just my way of saying that Nightmare Creatures is indeed the nightmare it bills itself as. What would already be a challenging romp through a hellish world of monsters is made that much worse by the presence of an adrenaline system that effectively serves as a time limit and forces you to kill enemies as quickly as possible despite often being unprepared for them in every conceivable way.

Some games throw you into the water to teach you how to swim. Nightmare Creatures holds your head under the water as you lean because it fundamentally doesn’t want you to succeed.

2. Tenchu: Stealth Assassins

The “fall” of the stealth genre from mainstream gaming in recent years has long disappointed genre fans who rank such games among their favorites of all-time. Yet, it has to be acknowledged that even the best stealth games were often difficult in a way that could immediately dissuade even tested gamers.

While difficulty is a given in many stealth titles, Tenchu sometimes abuses the privilege by going out of your way to remind you that you are weak. Maybe it’s because many of us were just excited to play a game where we were a badass ninja assassin, but the way that Tenchu required you to play it safe and employ trial-and-error tactics to survive its various challenges left many burying their hands in their face as they tried to understand what they were doing wrong.

Even after you appreciated Tenchu for what it was and even discovered what the game expected of you, it always found a way to force you to make that little mistake that would instantly end a run.

1. King’s Field

Is it cliche to name a game from eventual Dark Souls developer FromSoftware as the hardest PS1 title ever? For the sake of argument, let’s say it is. That doesn’t change the fact that even Dark Souls veterans will find themselves surprised by how difficult this game truly is.

King’s Field was pretty revolutionary for its time, which means that many gamers simply didn’t know what they were supposed to be doing when they booted up this title. What the most patient PS1 gamers discovered, though, is that King’s Field is basically a rough draft of Dark Souls combined with an especially difficult dungeon crawler. Even if the game’s ambitious 3D visuals and the jank they produce didn’t create additional challenges, this title’s brutal combat, a parade of traps, confounding controls, deliberately slow pace, and complete lack of direction even made hardcore PC RPG fans wonder what this game was and why it hated them so much.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

King’s Field doesn’t hate you, but it’s a testament to what the game was going for that it’s both clearly an early look at the next 25 years of gaming and a title that will likely still challenge generations to come.

The post 15 Hardest PlayStation One Games of All-Time appeared first on Den of Geek.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #297

“crushed, damned, and broken; lost, sick, and left unspoken.”

When was the last time you did clay work/pottery? Not since high school when I made an anatomically correct heart. Do you like art, hate it or just not mind it? I adore it. Is crime a big problem in your area? Oh yes. What's the scariest story/urban legend/creepypasta etc you heard? Maaaan, as a cryptic fanatic, that's hard. Maybe the Rake. What personality trait does nearly everyone in your family seem to have? We're some resilient motherfuckers. What is your favorite soda? Well, it's technically strawberry Sunkist, but I do NOT let myself have it because I will fucking chug it and binge on them if available to me. So, I just consider Mountain Dew Voltage my fave. When you're on the beach, do you throw beached sea creatures back? I've never even seen a beached animal. I would, though. Have you ever thrown food at someone? Yeah, small food fights as a kid or joking with a friend. Have you ever been to a bonfire? Yeah. Do you like orangutans? I love them; such fascinating, enchanting animals that act more human than people half the time. When you see a bug flipped on his back, what do you do? It depends on what it is, but I usually try to help it. Is cereal good? Yeah, I love cereal. Do you like spaghetti? Love it. It was my favorite food as a kid. Is there any kind of weapon in your bedroom? No. Do you like snow globes? I love 'em! Be honest, did Fifty Shades of Grey arouse you in any way? I didn't read it and never will. What does your sibling(s) call you? "Britt" or "(little/big) sister." Do you have any close friends that are the opposite sex that your significant other dislikes? N/A Do you honestly believe everything happens for a reason? Why or why not? Nope, because I want you to explain to me why a child dies of cancer. Why the 11-year-old was raped and forced to bear the child. Why a partner is beaten to death by their s/o, etc. etc. Things just... happen. Do you believe in reincarnation? Why or why not? No, mostly; I DO kinda wonder about it, I just find it unlikely. It would be kinda poetic, though: being given the chance to experience so many unique things. But, I kinda want a conclusion to my mortal life. The Hunger Games or The Maze Runner? I read the first HG and loved it; I started the latter novel while I was in the psych hospital for a while, but I never finished it or got that far in. It did sound pretty good, though. Has anyone you’ve known claimed to be psychic? Well, they believe(d) in tarot readings; does that count? Idk. Did/do you believe them? I wouldn't. Is anything annoying you right now? "Annoyed" is a fucking understatement when it comes to what transpired at the capitol a few days back. Have you ever been ice-skating? No. Does the sound of rain at night help you sleep? It can, depending on how heavy it is. Have you ever seen an albino person, in person? Albino, no, but I knew a guy and his sister in high school who had vitiligo. Have you ever worn a pair of scrubs? Yeah, at the ER and hospital. Have you ever walked into a massive cobweb? I don't believe so. What would you say is your strongest felt emotion right now? Rage. I'm not over "the event." I'm just tired of humanity. Are you talking to anyone at the moment? No. Do you have trust issues? Oh yes. Have you ever found an arrow head? No. Who is with you? My mom's home. What can you not stop thinking about? *points upwards* Then there's Jason because PTSD, that's very normal. Do you forgive easily? I forgive very easily, honestly. In what part of your life so far, have you learned the most about yourself? 2017, when recovery began. I think... or maybe 2018, idk. I've truly come to discover myself quite a lot the past few years. Have you ever been in a fist fight? No. Are your ears pierced? Yeah: my earlobes twice, and then my right tragus has a stud. I want to get my others back... I had to take them all out in the psych hospital, and a lot of my piercings closed up. The only one I don't wanna re-do is my anti-tragus, because mine was *always* inflammed and aggravated. What did you last say out loud? "Okay" to Mom. What are you waiting on? Right now, an opportunity to go to the parlor I'm getting my tat tidied up at to get a price range on it. They just need to be open while we're out of the house. Do you tell people when they get on your nerves? Not really. Are your feelings hurt easily? Yep. What's the most expensive piece of clothing you have? Did you buy it yourself? I dunno... I very rarely get new clothes, nevermind expensive ones. Who is your closest platonic friend of the opposite sex? His nickname is Girt. He's been my best male friend since high school; we even hang out sometimes, but it's been a long while. How do you think your first relationship shaped who you are as a partner now? As a partner, it taught me to not fall head over heels and love more realistically and in a healthy fashion. I don't put my faith solely into them, but myself, too. I also accept "forever" is not always true just because they promise it. Who is your favorite protagonist of the same sex? Oh god, this is hard. I suppose maybe Tyrande Whisperwind from WoW. I love her dedication to her people and that her story has become more interesting in her finally "breaking." I could list so, so many "faves," tbh. Were you popular in high school? What was your reputation like? No; I was just the average teen. Have you always known your sexual orientation or did something happen to make you realize it? Somethings happened. There were a lot of hints building up before I even began to consider the possibility, but a daydream solidified it as fact. What was the hardest part of your last break up? Realizing I still wasn't "ready" or "fit" for a successful relationship. What brought you out of the hardest period in your life? As strange as it sounds, my suicide attempt put it into action. I was obviously hospitalized for a while, and then I was brought into a month-long partial hospitalization program that has a fucking genius psychiatrist, and I also had daily therapy as long as school days during the week. It was the intense help I needed. What's your favorite kind of smiley face? (: Does anybody know your deepest darkest secret? My old therapist and maybe my mom; I can't remember if I told her. Did you ever watch Rugrats? (the babies) I LOVED that show! I even had two of the video games. What about Hey Arnold? Ugh, I hated it, but I think my little sister did, or we just watched it if we couldn't find anything else. Do you like pep rallies? NO. NO. NO. My teachers always understood that they really stoked my anxiety and allowed me to opt out of going. I'd just stay in the classroom and read or something. Have you ever had pneumonia? No. What do you feel about surgeries? Do they worry you? I fear anesthesia awareness, but not to a debilitating degree or anything that makes me panic beforehand or anything like that. Do you play Minecraft? if so, feelings about servers? Never have, and not interested. Do you read creepypastas? Nah. Do you think vlogging in public is scary? It seems awkward as FUCK to me. Even alone. Have you been to an escape room? Was it a success? No. What social class would you say you're in? I think we're actually near the poverty line (or were, idk anymore, Mom slipped it before), so definitely lower. Have you ever recorded a cover of a song? No. How do you feel about guns? They scare me. What's the most traumatizing event that ever happened to you? A very abrupt and poorly-executed breakup while being madly in love to the point of obsession with the person. Are you faint to the sight of blood? No. Do you like spicy food? Yes. Do you have good dreams or nightmares more? Well, considering I was woken up by myself shrieking my lungs out this morning, guess. It seemed for a little bit that my nightmares were chilling out, but I guess not. When was the last time someone insulted you? What was the insult? Does my mother telling me I'm saying too many "f-bombs" count? I dunno otherwise. What’s your second favorite color? Maroon. Do you ever wish you lived in a different country? Hey Canada, mind adopting me? Who’s the last person you “pounded” fists with? Ha, I think my nephew. Have you ever been involved in an affair? No. Wait, maybe? Does the Joel thing count? We never even physically met each other, we were just being idiot kids flirting over text messages. You be the judge, ig. How many times a week do you speak to your boss? I don’t have a job. What do you want for your birthday? Just donate to my tattoo fund lmao. Having to get my laptop fixed fucked up my plans yet again... Have you ever been to a masquerade? No. Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? A handful, yeah. Who in your phone has a heart after their name? Just Sara does. Anything you’re avoiding? Always. After breaking up, what’s the worst? Letting go if you're the one who still has feelings. Does your sibling have a significant other? I don't know if my brother does, or the half-sister I've never met. Another sister is engaged, and two are married. Nicole is single, though. She's smart as hell about who she dates; she's probably pickier than me. Do you use Skype? Just to talk with Sara. Are you a fan of acrylic nails? I wouldn't wear them, but they look fine on some people. Except when they're square shaped. Name one happy song that describes you better than any other. "Get Up" by Mother Mother comes to me first. Name one sad/mellow song that describes you better than any other. Haha I connect with a lot of sad songs and would honestly rather not dig through 'em right now. What is your most used pick up line? None, they're all awful. Do you like the taste of alcohol? Noooooo no no. The only alcoholic drinks I like are very weak and sweet. What kinds of food make you sick? So this probably sounds so stupid, but "fancy" foods, like stuff with a lot of ingredients my body isn't used to, I guess. My stomach is very finicky with foods, so it's easy to make this list.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''creatures x: to the grave'' by motionless in white

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adora2723 · 5 years

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Supercorp

It was a precarious situation. Lena wondered how she always seems to find herself in the middle of those. Right now, Supergirl was tied to a wall, barely conscious due to the Kryptonite conveniently placed all around her; just the right amount to subdue her yet keep her aware of her surroundings.

Lena had just come to after being knocked unconscious by Eve in her office. She should have seen that coming, she thought to herself. Her head throbbed in sync to the beat of her pulse. She watched her brother pace back and forth in front of a screen, replaying what seemed like every interaction she ever had with Supergirl on a loop. Something wet and warm trickled down her forehead, and when she reached she found her fingers sticky with red, hot blood.

“Ah, finally! You’re awake. We’ve been waiting for you to wake up for 13 minutes Lena. You know it’s rude to keep people waiting, I taught you better than that. Sit up straight! Respect is built on the foundation of propriety and composure. Show your big brother some respect! Then again, it is not entirely your fault is it? Miss Teschmacher may have been a tad bit... overzealous in her execution.”

“What am I doing here Lex?” Lena bit out.

“Yes of course, straight to the point as usual. You see, I told you, Lena, to always mind the company you keep. And sure, I can disregard many things... you sending me to jail: sibling rivalry. Changing the company name: petulant yet expected. But, working together with that alien scum to take me down is a betrayal I wasn’t expecting from you!” Lex’ voice started out as mild taunting but by the end had been consumed by rage. He was living up to his reputation as a mad man; wildly gesticulating, spit flying everywhere. If he had had hair it would be sticking out in all directions. So much for composure.

Of course Lena knew what this was about. She’s known for three weeks, ever since Lex escaped from prison, that he was going to come after her. She wasn’t really worried about herself; she knew their confrontation was inevitable. Neither could live as long as the other survived. If only her life was as magical as these novels. Unlike Harry though, she was all alone. No dependents who would suffer from her proximity, no family to mourn her untimely and cruel death, and no friends who would miss her during random lunch dates or impromptu game nights. Well, one friend. Kara. Kara was her solace in an otherwise dreary existence. Kara who she had come to care for as more than the best friend she pretended to be. Kara who she should have cut ties with as soon as she received the first foreboding letter. The letter, sent anonymously by Lex, that seemingly was just fanmail by a devoted admirer, sweetly relaying his adulation through Ancient Greek song. Turns out she could have avoided a tragedy, but she was Icarus flying too close to the sun, incapable to resist. She will pay the price for this.

“Let her go. Please! It is me you want. Take me!” Supergirl feebly tried to fight off her restraints. Her voice barely audible, rough and scratchy from exhaustion. Lena admired her perseverance. Supergirl’s sense for justice never seemed selfrighteous, a feat her cousin couldn’t quite pull off. Despite their dissent Supergirl didn’t falter in trying to protect her; maybe in a promise to Kara? Wishful thinking.

“There won’t be much of you left to take, Kryptonian! Besides, you have no value to me, no. This is personal. This time I came here to quench my thirst for revenge. You see, most people think we Luthors don’t have emotions. And usually they would be right in their assessment, however limited it might be. Average brains produce average results. But nothing about us Luthors is average. We are eminent, exceptional, extraordinary. And so are our feelings. And you,” he turned his burning eyes to Lena, “hurt mine. It is not just that. It is a matter of respect, isn’t it. How dare you drag our name through the mud-”

“Me?! I wasn’t the one who went on a suicidal mission-”

“How DARE you use MY company, my brain, my knowledge, my tech for the empowerment of those roaches ?! HOW DARE YOU. Everything you have is because of me. Everything you built, every business deal you closed, every prestigious award you got, the recognition, the applaud, the esteem. EVERYTHING you are, is because of me. Without me you are nothing. I made you who you are and you go against me.” He closed his eyes and exhaled sharply, seemingly gathering his composure. “How dare you betray me like that, sis?” He turned his back to her. Supergirl was stunned speechless, deliriously following Lex’ tirade. Lena used this opportunity to scan her surroundings. They were being held in what looked like some sort of cave. It was dark and moist, and the air smelled of sulfur. Against the confinements of the cavern Lex had constructed his head-quarters. The only exit was a tight tunnel, pitch-black and not very promising to aid them in their escape to daylight, it was also very inconveniently located on the opposite end of where Supergirl was tied up. And Lena was not leaving without her. Their future seemed dismal.

Lex took a deep inhale. “It is vile. What you did to me... I want you to feel it to. Before I kill you, I will see the same betrayal in your eyes and on your dying breath you will realise, that you were alone all along, just like me.”

“She is not alone! And she will never be like you. Don’t listen to him Lena.” Lex laughed hysterically. “Oh, that’s rich coming from you, Supergirl. See, I realised some while ago that people with feelings tend to be more concerned about their loved ones. Indeed, they care more about those who are near and dear to them, completely disregarding their own self in the act, which turns out to be the grounds of their demise. And, unfortunately for you, Lena, you are as selfless and tempestuous as they come.” Lex paused for seemingly no other reason than dramatic effect. For a guy so aversed to theatrics he had a flair for ostentatious performance.

He side-eyed Supergirl surreptitiously. “Say, how is that reporter friend of yours? Kara Danvers?” Lex smirked mischievously. Supergirl began fidgeting frantically. Lena’s brain whirred to life. She started working through all the ways that this could play out at a highspeed. “What about her?” She chose nonchalance. She knew she had been putting Kara at risk by befriending her, but staying away seemed impossible. If anything happened to the bubbly reporter just because Lena wanted to indulge in a hopeless little crush, Lena would never forgive herself.

It might have even been more than a crush. Lena remembers the night vividly that she realised she was in too deep. They had known each other for a little over a year by then. Eventhough they were colleagues now (well, technically, she was her boss) the acquisition of Catco brought with it a shitload of paperwork, board meetings, and late-night phone calls that had to be dealt with, and Lena was stretched even thinner than usual. They hadn’t seen each other for a month after their reconciliation, and Lena was just happy to spend some quality time with her best friend who finally seemed to be over her ex. When Kara had initially invited her over Lena wanted to decline. Abstaining that long from Kara’s cheeriness had made her revert back to old customs. Lena had resigned herself to go back to being lonely, writing Kara off as a shooting star that briefly flew by to illuminate her firmament for a precious while, too good to last. But Kara had insisted and she couldn’t resist her pull.

So she had made herself comfortable on Kara’s couch, dressed down in comfy clothes that no one was allowed to see her in except for Kara. She had ordered Chinese food, knowing Lena’s taste by heart, and while Lena was animatedly telling her about her childhood before she was adopted, Kara not so sneakily stole some chicken from her box. There was nothing new about that; Kara was known to be a voracious eater and often snuck some food in from foreign plates. What she did next, however, was unprecedented: she replaced the chicken with a potsticker from her own plate. She had spent enough time with the Danvers sisters to know that Kara sharing food had near-apocalyptic implications. But for her to do it so casually, while keenly and earnestly absorbing every word of Lena’s most treasured tales, that’s what made Lena’s heart simultaneously expand and implode at once. In the warmth of the fairy lights, lounging on the snuggly sofa, Lena lost her heart to riveting eyes and giddy laughter.

Now, she wished she would have closed her eyes and made a wish. Letting the shooting star take its destined course. Now, that star was gonna crash and burn, diminishing all hope in its wake, all because Lena could not stay away. Because Lena was selfish. “Don’t play dumb now, sis, inanity doesn’t suit you. We all know how you feel about that bimbo. Though I have to admit, you always had a keen eye for beauty. Unfortunately, you never bothered to look beyond what’s on the surface. Well, how do they say? ‘Love is blind.’ Isn’t it right, Supergirl?”

If they weren’t in a situation of life and death Lena would have been petrified. She was very careful to never show even an ounce of her overwhelming affection to anybody. Least of all people who she knew were connected to Kara and might tell her about Lena’s deplorable feelings causing Kara to finally abandon her, kindness be damned. Least of all people who had a unyielding sense of rectitude and might believe Kara had a right to know about what Lena was so desperately hiding. Least of all people like Supergirl.

Alas, she had more pressing matters to attend. “Don’t you dare touch her! You hear me, Lex, you go after her and you will regret the day you were born!” Lex’ grin turned from smug to wicked. “Oh, don’t worry little sis, I won’t even come near her. You see, it just happened to be the case that you, dearest Lena, embraced the provenance of your own demise. It just happens that delay is the deadliest form of denial. And you’ve been in denial for so long. We Luthors, we do feel emotions. Just not all of them, no, only the crucial ones. Avarice, pride, rage, and betrayal. Fuelling our power. And once you feel that betrayal, Lena, you will kill for me two birds with one stone. You will drive yourself to death in your quest for revenge and you will take that pathetic Supergirl with you. Feel the rage Lena. Feel the betrayal.”

Lex turned towards the screens mounted on the cave walls just as Supergirl tore free of her restraints in an anguished scream.

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albapuella · 4 years

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How to Lose a Lover in 10 Days or Less: A Comprehensive Guide to Becoming a Future Romantic Failure (Chapter One)

AO3

Fandom: Homestuck

Summary: How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days AU Dave needs to win a bet; Karkat needs to write an article. Shenanigans ensue.

Tags: Humanstuck, alternate universe - no sburb session, POV switches galore, implied/referenced child abuse Author’s note: This story is the result of a jam session I did with aceAdoxography on the davekat thirst federation discord server. This one's a little out of my usual wheelhouse, but I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. New chapters every Saturday/Sunday.

I also tried to be fancy with the html, but it didn't come out right (you will see what I mean). However, I'm leaving it as is for now.

Chapter 1: Inciting Incidents

Day 0:

“I'm smooth as peanut butter,” Dave protested, his coffee sloshing in its cup as he swung his arm out. “Choosy moms might choose Jiff, but I ain't in the market for an older woman at the moment. Just call me Skippy, because that's how smooth I am.”

Rose looked both unimpressed and unconvinced. “Really?” She took a small, dignified sip of her tea.

“Yes!” Dave frowned. “I'm like super suave. Fucking James Bond over here.”

She squinted at him for a moment. “You do realize that James Bond is characterized by his inability to keep any woman with him longer than the length of one of his movies.”

“That's only because he's too much man to be tied down,” Dave said. “And that's not even the point: the point is that the fucker's suave. He can have any girl he wants.”

“And I suppose you can get any boy you want?” It sounded dismissive. “It would be wonderful if you managed that feat before my wedding. You know how mother worries about you, and I would rather not spend the first day wedded to my wife listening to mother wailing about how her poor little Davey's going to be all alone in the world.”

Dave felt the flush creeping up his cheeks, and he wasn't sure if he was experiencing his future humiliation already or if he was getting mad. Just because he couldn't keep a relationship going for long, that didn't mean he wasn't smooth. It wasn't his fault that up until very recently he'd only pursued girls because he hadn't wanted to admit he was gay... Okay, yes, that actually was his fault. The point was of course those relationships had failed. His relationship prowess had never been given a fighting chance. “Yeah, I could. In fact, I could make any of the guys here fall for me.”

“Very well, brother of mine,” Rose said, smiling that particular smile which tended to portend bad things for the person it was directed at, “how about that one?” She pointed to a man sitting alone at a table on the other end of the cafe.

Dave looked over at him without making it obvious he was doing so. Damn, Rose. The guy was a snack, obviously, but his expression indicated that the whole world had pissed in his cornflakes one at a time and had made him miss the bus to his job at the blow job factory. Still, it was too late to back out now. “Fine,” he said, setting down his cup just a little too hard. “I'll see you in two weeks, Rose, and I'll have him on my arm in a matching tux. We're going to be the hottest, gayest penguins you've ever fucking seen.”

She laughed at him. Which was fine: he was going to have the last laugh here. And there was no time like the present. He stood and strode over to the other table, curving his mouth in his smoothest, suavest fucking smile.

The man had noticed Dave's approach and looked up from his coffee, the ire on his face now joined by confusion. “Can I help you?” His voice was rough but not unpleasant. His tone was less pleasant, but Dave had expected that from his expression.

“I sure hope so,” Dave said. He put one hand on his hip and held the other out to the man. “I've just lost my name: can I have yours?”

The man blinked. Then he laughed—less amused and more disbelieving. “Seriously? You're seriously going to open up with that? That has to be the cheesiest fucking pick up line I've heard in my life. And I've heard a lot of them.”

Dave only grinned. Breaking the ice was just one of Dave's many talents. “What can I say, dude, I'm a connoisseur of fine cheese. Premium, aged in wooden crocks or whatever.” He waggled his hand. “Don't leave me hanging.”

The man looked from Dave's hand to his face and back again before heaving a sigh. He shook Dave's hand, his grip solid but not crushing. “Karkat.” Then he frowned. “What do you want?”

“Thought that was obvious, Karkat,” Dave said, trying the name out. He liked it. “I want to ask you out. On a date. I'm Dave, by the way,” he added quickly. It probably would have been smarter to open up with that. It also occurred to Dave that there were a lot of other variables he hadn't considered until this moment. “If you're single. God, I hope you're single. And into guys. Otherwise, I'm going to feel pretty stupid.”

Karkat opened his mouth but didn't speak as something too quick for Dave to pick up flashed across his face. Then he grinned, perhaps a little too widely. “You're in luck,” he said. “I am in the market for a date.”

Oh. “Cool. Cool, that's—” Dave broke off with a fake cough into his fist. “Yeah, uh. So, are you free tomorrow? Night?”

A slow nod. “Yeah. Sure. Sounds great.” He dug through his bag and took out a small notepad. “Do you use Pesterchum?” he asked as he scribbled something down.

“I think everyone and their grandmother uses Pesterchum,” Dave said, still kind of surprised that this was going as well as it was. “Not my grandmother, I don't have one, but you know, grandmothers. Or the tech savvy ones anyway. I think your average grandmother might have some trouble—the text is kind of tiny, isn't it?”

Karkat looked up from his writing. “Right.” He ripped the page out and held it out to Dave. “Message me, and we can set up that date.”

Dave took the paper. “Thanks, I'll, uh, message you soon!” Without waiting for a response, he turned on his heel and made his way back to Rose. He knew his face was burning, but he decided to believe it was the flush of victory rather than anything else. She was still smiling at him, and he held the paper out in front of her face. “See? I've already got his chumhandle. You're going to eat your words, Rose. I hope you like the taste of humble pie.”

Rose laughed behind her hand. “Nice work, Dave,” she said once she'd recovered. “Try not to break his heart, won’t you?”

“What?” Dave shook his head. “His heart is going to be wrapped in three layers of bubble wrap and under ten pounds of packing peanuts.” He shoved the paper into his pocket. “I got this thing on lock.”

---

Karkat tore his eyes away from the retreating Dave to jot down some notes on his notepad. Looked like he'd be able to write this article sooner rather than later. Unless Dave had been dared to come over and get his phone number. That had happened before. He scowled into his coffee. Well, if Dave never got in touch with him, then he'd just use his last disaster of a relationship to base his article on. That was what he'd planned to do originally anyway.

It wasn't a secret around the office that Karkat Vantas, despite being a font of romance wisdom, was dead in the water when it came to dating and keeping a boyfriend. He attributed this mostly to his abhorrent personality and lack of self-control. Whenever the opportunity came up for him to stick his foot in his mouth, you could find him there, furiously chewing on his toes. He'd lost count of how many times a date had ended because he'd said something he shouldn't have. Or rather, screamed something he shouldn't have at the top of his lungs with more profanity than was warranted in retrospect.

So, of course, the boss knew about Karkat's lackluster love life, too. The assignment had been one of her little jokes. One of her little mind games. “Oh, Mr. Vantas, please write an article about how to fuck up a relationship in less than two weeks—it should be easy for you seeing as you're such an expert at being so noxious that no one but your handful of friends can even stand to be anywhere around you, never mind a stranger who doesn't know your history or has any reason to want to stick around and deal with your bullshit.” Paraphrased, of course. Her version had been much less honest.

He re-read his notes.

* Dave, no last name given. Terrible pick up line. Rambles. Idiot or awkward. Or both. Dresses like a color-blind douche bag. Obnoxious sunglasses. Vision impaired? Hot. Attractive. Moderately attractive.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he set down his notepad to fish it out. He frowned down at the screen. A notification from Pesterchum? His heart rose a little despite himself until he saw the name. Kanaya. He sighed. While he was happy she was happy, he couldn't handle being gushed at right now. He put the phone on the table and finished his coffee.

---

Dave dithered for hours before he finally decided on the perfect message to open communications with.

TG: this is dave from the cafe TG: wanted to say hey TG: and ask what you want to do Saturday

Okay, so it wasn't the best rap ever, but he was stretched for material here. Also, it probably wasn't a good idea to blow up this guy's phone before Dave got some confirmation that this was even Karkat's chumhandle. It wouldn't be the first time someone had given him a dud. At least the messages were going through: that was a good sign.

CG: ARE YOU RHYMING ON PURPOSE? TG: hell yea dog TG: mc strider here by popular demand to lay down the jams TG: ive got all my adoring fans just waiting for me to shower them with stanz- TG: -as like youve never seen its a dream come true straight to you

That was enough; he had to give Karkat some time to respond. Assuming this was Karkat.

TG: this is karkat right? CG: OH I CAN TALK NOW? CG: YES THIS IS KARKAT. CG: AS CHARMING AS THIS IS (AND I AM SO UTTERLY CHARMED RIGHT NOW), DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO GO ON A DATE WITH ME? TG: totally i totally do i knew as soon as i saw you yea im taking this total snack on a date

Which was not a lie, technically. Yes, Dave liked how Karkat looked, but he probably wouldn't have gone over to his table without Rose egging him on.

TG: where do you want to go skys the limit TG: but not really TG: cause no offense but i just met you TG: and i dont think were at the stage where id be willing to sell one my kidneys TG: to make your dreams of jumping out of an airplane onto the back of a narwhal or some shit like that come true TG: thats like after at least date number 5 and id expect some kind of thanks TG: at least a tongue kiss or something TG: not that i think you need to pay for dates physically TG: thats all kinds of gross TG: forget i said any of that please CG: … CG: HOW ABOUT DINNER AND A MOVIE. LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE. CAN WE DO THAT?

Dave grinned with relief. He'd thought for sure he'd just blown this.

TG: sounds great nothing beats the classics

With that sorted out, the rest had been easy. Dave closed his phone, feeling accomplished. He was really doing this. He was really making this happen. But first, he had some clothes to throw in the shower!

---

Karkat slid his phone back into his pocket with a sigh. Well, now he had a date for tomorrow. He looked down at the new set of notes he'd written during that 'conversation'.

* Last name Strider? Raps without provocation. Definitely visually impaired. Goes off on wild tangents. I'm going to be murdered. What the hell am I doing?

It had been difficult not to react in his normal way to the frankly bizarre things Dave had said, and he knew that was only going to be more difficult to manage in person. Still, he had to 'hook' this man as best as he was able before he could fuck it up like always. After all, he couldn't 'lose' a guy he never 'had', right? He idly entertained the thought of what 'having' Dave might be like. He was clearly crazy, but there was something endearing in his total inability to communicate like a regular person. The way he'd been so obviously nervous and out of his depth when he'd come over to ask Karkat out. The way his cheeks had flushed when Karkat had accepted. The way his body had moved when he'd walked away.

Shaking his head, Karkat tucked the notepad into his bag. No point in even thinking about it. Even if he weren't getting into this just to ruin the relationship for his article, the end would have been the same anyway. Honestly, he was doing Dave a favor: at least this way, Dave would only be wasting ten days worth of his time rather than torturous months of dealing with Karkat's bullshit before finding an excuse to cut him loose.

#homestuck #fan fic #humanstuck #my fic #wip #the html looks fine on my end #don't know why it's messed up when it goes live #*shrugs*

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syzygyzip · 5 years

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Solaire is the Sandworm and Other Apocrypha

What follows is an essay about Knight Solaire, a character from Dark Souls 1. The essay discusses his metatextual influence, his symbolic import, and a few theories about his supposed fate in Dark Souls 3.

On the Nature of Headcanon Canon as a concept adopts different rules when it comes to videogames. More concretely than in other artforms, the content of the game changes according to its witness. You can’t account for another person’s playthrough, so you are obligated to trust their story—within reason. A player can tell you that they beat a boss without taking a single hit. That’s reasonable. A player can say that they saw an enemy clip through a wall, placing it in an otherwise empty environment. Could be true, might want to see footage, but reasonable. Further out, a player can tell you that a completely unprecedented game-object appeared out of nowhere, started flying around and corrupting objects. This is unlikely, but, like some crytptozoological encounter, could be explained away by the witness’ misapprehension (maybe a hacker invades the game and thwarts the rules).

Just like witnessing the mothman or other spectral phenomena in real life, the person’s impression of the event is real. To borrow Jung’s term, it is a subjective fact of the psyche. Because it is “of the psyche,” it describes the psyche.

Physical is not the only criterion of truth: there are also psychic truths which can neither be explained nor proved nor contested in any physical way. If, for instance, a general belief existed that the river Rhine had at one time flowed backwards from its mouth to its source, then this belief would in itself be a fact even though such an assertion, physically understood, would be deemed utterly incredible. Beliefs of this kind are psychic facts which cannot be contested and need no proof.

[…] The psyche is an autonomous factor, and religious statements are psychic confessions which in the last resort are based on unconscious, i.e., on transcendental processes.” (Jung, Carl pars. 553-555).

Unusual things will happen in games, and still more unusual things will be perceived to happen. What happens “off-screen” in the game world has no true authority, not even from the developers, because every player acts as a co-author. Some fan theories are formed by mentally structuring objects and events. Other fan theories seem to spring forth fully formed from the inky off-screen unconscious; in this case, for the theorist it feels more like a discovery than a construction. But most headcanons are a composite. Theories and headcanons are also informed by the meta-culture—by what a game and its characters have become in the eyes of “the community.” Black Iron Tarkus, for instance, has no lines of dialogue in any game, but has developed a personality and prestige from his interpretation by the fandom. Such occurrences are almost a matter of course. Games, especially when they reach franchise-level popularity, spawn stories and memes. The game reveals content not programmed by its developers. It is doubtful that anyone at FromSoft foresaw Tarkus’ fandom. Nor would any on the staff have guessed that a few discrete game items (Giant’s Armor, Havel’s Ring, the Mask of the Father, etc) would cohere into a folk hero called Giant Dad. I say “folk hero,” though he is a scourge to many. This “character,” who is really just an exploitative blend of game mechanics, would be made, remade, imitated, elevated to memetic and then iconic status. Most other archetypes in Dark Souls are divided into their attributes: Helm of Artorias, Sword of Artorias, etc. Giant Dad is the reverse: he is constellated by his attributes; none of them alone hold his pneuma.

The Knight Solaire is more famous than either of these figures. Like Artorias, he is a character specifically designed to appeal and to exist in relation to; and yet like Giant Dad, he is a fan-fueled nexus of meme. Beyond both of these capacities is the degree to which he emanates himself beyond the franchise. His catchphrases “Praise the Sun!” and “jolly cooperation” have taken on a life outside of Dark Souls—a scope of renown unreached by Giant Dad. Especially noteworthy is his corresponding emoticon \[T]/ How many pop cultural icons can be summed up in 5 pieces of unicode? He has also been coagulated into an Amiibo, which is another ontologically ambiguous prestige, occupying a strange corner between meatspace, the virtual, and the symbolic apparatus of capitalism. But he is not quite so easily as commodified, as a Squid Kid or an Isabelle. He is not moe like they are. He does not have a face. But that is not say he is featureless: he has a personality and a mystique that coheres throughout his diegetic presence, his cross-cultural memetic tendrils, and his various costumes in headcanon. What force accounts for this coherence? No archetype can be summed up into a single definition or personality, but the style by which they draw attributes and myths around them allows us some understanding.

The Knight of the Sun When encountered in Dark Souls 1, the character of Solaire presents a rare locus of optimism. He is standing in the sunlight, staring into the sky in quiet appreciation. He is immediately friendly and encouraging to the player, and gives them the tool of “jolly cooperation.”

I want to emphasize how much Solaire’s demeanor stands out in the milieu. Though he is encountered at an early point, the game has already introduced the player to an extremely dismal and unforgiving world. They have likely met many overpowering obstacles and dejected NPCs, and begun to realize how scarce is the refuge of the bonfire. It doesn’t take much exposure to Lordran to take on its infectious loneliness. Solaire’s optimism cuts through this bleak fog like a lighthouse, and he literally gives the player the key to online collaboration. From another gameplay standpoint, consider how the player has become conditioned to dark corners, to ambushes, and fatal surprises; to visually scouring the environment like a rat, wary of predators and keen to spot a glowing treasure. For a moment, Solaire stops the desperate scavenging to direct your attention to the skybox. These contemplative silences have become a signature of the Souls series, but this is perhaps the first directed instance.

This is to say that Solaire is the first personification of goodwill that the player meets, so early into their journey, and is thus easily wrapped up into that symbolism. As the player’s relationship to the world takes on new dimensions (not simply new game areas, but entirely new spheres: online play, community discourse, lorekeeping), the symbol of Solaire follows them. In online play, he pops up as someone’s cosplay—and spectacularly, most of these sunbros, these independent actors, will reflect his behavior accurately! In Souls communities, Solaire is almost omnipresent, as people will post his slogan or his emoticon as a way of communicating affirmation, respect, or pure joy. There are other things to like about Solaire, like the fact that he is relatively powerful as an ally in boss fights, that he has the cool lightning move, or that it is revealed his armor is “average,” and that his strength comes from some inner source. Another element that should not be underestimated is the psychological potency of his implicit longing for a father. It goes without saying that the motif of the absent father has been especially compelling in the 21st century, ubiquitous in mass media, and often exploited by advertisers, etc. Beyond that, Solaire is searching “for his Sun,” an object which can be interpreted countless ways; suffice it to say it is a timeless and recognizable symbol of purpose and wholeness.

For all these reasons and more, Solaire is an easy point of projection for the player. He is an image both relatable and aspirational; he is average and exceptional. He is savvy, strong, and kind, and never in hyperbolic measure. He realistically represents a player’s best traits. The quality of his goodness is unspecific and broad; it becomes an anchor point for any virtue a player may value, as can be seen in the varied mutations he takes on in the subculture, becoming in turn funkier, wiser, more heroic. This trait of mutability, in itself, is generous! In a game that is by now famous for its therapeutic value in treating depression, Solaire’s influence should not be disregarded. Here is an illustrative example of the potential effect of Solaire on a player, posted to reddit by user unsuppressedYay:

Like most, when I was playing Dark Souls, I was in a very bad time of my life (which was incidentally only a couple months ago). I was at a college that I hated, with roommates who were not accepting of me, and many friends who had stopped hanging out with me. The only joy I would have is going home on the weekends, playing Dark Souls until I accomplished something and then going out to see my friends from back home. In this dark time i had isolated myself from most people during the week and was lonely and didn’t accomplished much, as such my grades also suffered. it was a bad time.

By playing dark souls, I felt accomplishment after getting through a particularly tough area or beating a boss. It gave me a reason to go on, that I would continue in the doomed world of lordran where i had to reach a fire with no good ending. It gave me encouragement to continue in my own life and applying to a different college and get my life back on track.

So to the point. I had accidentally spoiled what happened to Solaire. but I was still unable to stop it. I thought the chaos bugs were the big bugs in the lava after lost izalith. I felt so guilty and like I actually lost someone I cared about. I felt the obligation to wear his armor until the very end of the game. It made things significantly harder because of how weak it was compared to normal armor, but I stuck with it. The item description from the armor was something along the lines of saying that Solaire had no special power or magic, like we did. He made the armor himself, and was strong through his dedication and work ethic and never willing to give up to get his sun. So thanks Dark Souls and thanks Solaire for reminding me that optimism is the best way to go about things.

tl;dr cheesy story about dark souls helping me get through tough time, and feeling obligation to beat the game with solaires armor due to his wonderful optimism, and guilt over his death.

Even if a player doesn’t specifically don Solaire’s armor in tribute, they likely integrate some aspect of his character in other ways. It can be as simple as performing the Praise the Sun gesture before a boss or upon victory. Miraculously, the gesture conveys the attitude quite plainly. The phrase “what happened to Solaire” alludes to the tragic fate that befalls him if the player does not intervene: he goes hollow in Lost Izalith, loses his enthusiasm and direction, and apparently mistakes a Chaos Bug for the sun which he seeks. After this point he will be hostile to the player, and will be wearing the cursed thing upon his head. This piece of headgear, formed from the body of a chaos bug, emits a lighted orb resembling the sun. If the player follows an arcane route through the game, they can avoid this outcome, and bring Solaire as a helpful ally in the final fight against Lord Gwyn.

Solaire as Gwyn’s Son For a long time, the battle at the immemorial kiln seemed like a fitting resolution to Solaire’s arc, as Gwyn was assumed to be his estranged father. Complementing Solaire’s recognition of an affinity between the Sun and the Father, we are told that Gwyn had a long-lost firstborn son. While essentially disproved by the apparent revelation of Gwyn’s actual first-born in Dark Souls 3, this lore speculation continues to live on in the imagination of the Souls community. It remains as another fact of the psyche, and thereby further illuminates the nature of Solaire. To understand why this is significant, we have to go a little bit into the symbolism of the Sun. You may be surprised to hear that people have been aware of the Sun for a long time now, and it has accrued significations far too numerous to list in full. So we will just mention a few of its rays, those that coincide with Solaire’s virtues: generosity, joviality, light, warmth, and cooperation. It also symbolizes the gift of life, vitality, will, and essence. Then there is that important attribute: obviousness; there is simply no denying the Sun in the sky, as it illuminates everything around you, and your planet circles it incessantly. But this principle of “apparentness” follows the sun to its cultural correspondences, like the lion, who is known to be named Leo. Which chakra does the sun relate to? Why, the solar plexus. Guess which metal the Sun corresponds to. It’s gold. You don’t have to be an occultist or a psychologist to notice the sun’s dignitaries: they have a way of exuding themselves. So it is with the conspicuously named Knight Solaire and his undeniable presence. It is simply one of his attributes: the ability to beam out from the Souls world, through the metatext, and into broader strata of culture.

The solar principle is also a consciousness principle. To “shed light” upon something is to become conscious of it. Thus the Sun describes both the ego and the Self (the inner image of God). The ego can be thought of as a low-res isomorphism of the Self, or as an inner, inextinguishable “divine spark.” It seems that this spark is the source from which Solaire derives his boundless optimism. Solaire ambivalently identifies with the Sun, and marvels at it outside himself, terming it as a “magnificent father.” Though he is a source of light for the player, he humbles himself before the “gross incandescence” of some higher power. This ego-Self dynamic, so essential to human experience, triggers a (conscious or unconscious) question of reconciliation. So players may wonder, “Who is the father of Solaire? To whom does he defer?” and the natural affinities between Solaire and Gwyn present themselves. Aside from the fact that it is later contradicted, this genealogy is also simply too concrete and anthropocentric to satisfy the greater mystery. The Solaire-Gwyn interpretation remains as a psychological fact, but it is just the beginning. It is the exoteric story, revealed to players of DS1 not as deception, but as an inaugural step for constellating a much more complex archetype. Now that we have taken a good look about how well the figure of Solaire invites a player’s projections, we will move on to a few other lore theories, far stranger and more infamous.

Solaire Has Become a Worm Who was Knight Solaire and what became of him? Some say he is the great Carthus Sandworm, writhing around the Smoldering Lake in the ruins of Hell. While apparently originally suggested in earnest, the Sandworm story has come to be known as a meme theory. As we have discussed, a meme won’t exist if it’s not compelling on some level.

Here is the apocryphal myth as commonly understood. Canonically the player fails to save Solaire after he wanders into Lost Izalith in search of his Sun. He discovers the Chaos Bug (or slays it and discovers its corpse), and mistakes its gentle glow for his personal sun. Worn as headgear, it becomes the Sunlight Maggot, a “loathsome parasite” that is “completely immobile, yet still lives.” Solaire goes hollow, losing his identity and sense of purpose. He despairs. We don’t know whether the parasite produces this abject condition in Solaire, or whether it is symptomatic, or coincidental. Therefore speculation begins here. Assuming the player does not destroy the mad Solaire, he wanders around the underworld for a very long time. As the years go by the vast hellscape of what was once Izalith disintegrates. Its army of demons becomes hills of corpses. The land itself is now nothing more than a small maze of ruins, and a warm puddle—the so-called “Smouldering Lake.” During this time, the theory suggests, the parasite has completely consumed Solaire, turning him into the “Carthus Sandworm” an enormous, Dune-esque burrowing worm that spits lightning.

So because Solaire was overtaken by a Chaos Bug, it is assumed he never left Carthus and became the worm. The further justification(?) for this theory is as follows. The worm spits lightning as Solaire does. The worm drops Lightning Stake, a miracle that mentions lost dragon slayers, who are affiliated with Warriors of Sunlight and thus Solaire. The worm also has human appendages sticking out from its body, and drops an undead bone shard, which are seen as clues that the worm was once human. (It is also suggested by some that Solaire’s might and indefatigable nature are the reason that he was not consumed by the parasite, but instead transformed into an enormous creature. But this point is often glossed over in the meme-theory variant.)

We can see that the diegetic evidence upon which the case for Solaire-as-Worm rests is rather thin. So what accounts for its popularity? Why does it make some kind of intuitive sense? Why does it generate enough interest to be passed around, albeit ironically? Let’s examine the origin point of the story: Solaire venturing into Lost Izalith and losing his mind to a Chaos Bug. The story of a solar hero venturing into the underworld has—once again—existed for as long as people have been staring at the sun. Each day the Sun goes down, and comes up again reborn. Psychologically, the descent into the underworld symbolizes the journey of the ego into the unconscious. The principle risk of this journey is possession by the contents therein; re-absorption into a state of dependent unconsciousness. For this reason among others, it is associated with the great and destructive Mother in her negative aspect. The motifs of “the devouring mother” and the “belly of the whale” are likely familiar to most people. The loss of a sense of a separate self is a much-feared thing, and this story arises perennially and across cultures. Izalith too is full of (negative) Mother imagery, with the mother of pyromancy at the center, portrayed as a small bug, not dissimilar from the Sunlight Maggot which consumes Solaire. We should of course not reduce the Mother to some Freudian positivism. She is called the Mother because she represents the matrix of the world, which engenders, sustains, and decays all forms. In her fullness she is the divine feminine principle. Her fearsome aspects, such as the devouring mother, are constellated by the ego’s fears and rejections. The mother is the first being from which an infant must differentiate itself, and so there is this necessary period in which the mother becomes the abject, the locus of all that is disavowed and detested. When stories tell us about “slaying the dragon,” it is not about conquering the feminine, or defeating chaos; it is about overcoming a false view of the Divine Mother born of fear and prejudice. It is this view, cohered into a monster, that must be slain, as the Chosen Undead does in Izalith in Dark Souls 1. According to tradition, how is this accomplished? In psychological terms:

The slaying of the mother and identification with the father-god go together. If, through active incest, the hero penetrates into the dark, maternal, chthonic side, he can only do so by virtue of his kinship with “heaven,” his filiation to God. By hacking his way out of the darkness he is reborn as the hero in the image of God, but, at the same time as the son of […] the regenerative Good Mother. (Neumann 165)

The “father” in this case corresponds to the solar principles of Logos, order, and law. Swords and lightning-strikes, Solaire’s preferred tools, refer to the capacities of discernment and insight necessary for differentiation. This identification/alliance with the father in this task is only temporary, for the Father too must be destroyed: he is the old order, the ego deteriorating into an oppressive and petty tyrant. This is why Gwyn is underwhelming and ailing when we find him. So it appears that saving Solaire, and bringing him to defeat Gwyn, is a relatively psychologically healthy outcome. That is—if Solaire is the new ego!! But think about it: when playing a game, is it not the player-character who is most representative of the ego? It is out of the Chosen Undead’s eyes that we see, it is their actions we control, not Solaire’s. We have already established that for many players, Solaire is an ideal image, whose full potential is necessarily unknown. Does this mean that Solaire is meant to be abandoned here? Is he, like Gwyn, an outdated self-conception that must be discarded so that something new can be born? The moral judgment of this situation is more complicated than it first appears.

Let’s look at the steps one must take in order to save Solaire: one must join the Chaos Servant covenant and collect humanity for the “Fair Lady.” This witch of chaos is a pale and deteriorating spider-woman meshed into the wall of her lair. She speaks a language incomprehensible to the player, unless a special ring is worn, which reveals that she mistakes the player for her sister. If she is given a whopping 30 humanity, the Chosen Undead rises to a rank of prestige in her organization, and a special door opens which allows passage to the site of Solaire’s fall. This is the only way to arrive at the scene and destroy the bug before Solaire finds it. So the key, in essence, is offering your humanity to a mysterious dying witch over and over again. Or, as reddit user JotaBarra puts it:

To save Solaire of Astora you have to give 30 humanity to someone who you don't know, that doesn't understand you and the only thing you know is that she put herself in pain trying to fix something that she doesn't did. If you help her, the games give you the opportunity to save your friend. The only way to save Solaire is by being like him. Friendship is exactly like that. You help the only one that help you everytime he can. He will fight alongside with you against the final enemy. It represent what a relationship is. We don't build relationship with our direct actions but with what the actions mean. You dont help directly to your friend, but you do what he could've do for you.

This interpretation makes a good point about how it is necessary to become Solaire, to take on his attributes, in order to save him. Does this therefore mean that by the time the two of you get to Gwyn, you are the same person? Or were you the same person all along, and Solaire was just projected into the external environment, just as he both embodies the sun and seeks it outside himself? That light, whether the anglerfish lamp of the Sunlight Maggot or the Sun itself, compels the body forward, because that compulsion is the Sun.

Specifically, compulsion is the Sun in its chthonic state. It is synonymous with the ever-burning fuel of sulfur, replete throughout the realms of hell.

Lost Izalith, the Hell of Dark Souls, has been reduced to very little in Dark Souls 3. It appears quite plainly that the kingdom has deteriorated. What were once oceans of lava is now a knee-high lake of simmering water. However, among the ruins and heaps of demon corpses, there is indication that new life is growing. Roots of world trees coil around the stone and new forms of demons are singing living flames into being. Most significantly, there is also the presence of crabs, which are a timeless symbol of birth, and present at the other two places of world-regeneration in Dark Souls 3 (the forest and the painting). Beneath the desolate surface of Smouldering Lake, there is the beating heart of new life.

It is on the surface that the pseudo-Solaire worm confronts us. It could be that it is protective of this nest, or maybe it is a crude image of the unborn life in incubation within. The fact that it is coiled here, in a pool of water at the base of the world, suggests the kundalini serpent. In psychology and metaphysics, the kundalini is the libidinous upward force catalyzed by the primal energy (shakti) at the base of the spine. Alongside its physiological manifestation, the rising serpent/worm is one of the oldest mythological motifs:

The Gnostics related the serpent to the mysterious energy of the primordial waters symbolized in the waves of the undulating serpent as well as the stirrings within the serpentine spinal cord of man. The stirrings surface from the abyss of the unconscious, sometimes unexpectedly and with peremptory and terrible effects. (Valborg)

Its undulating path upwards is called “The Serpent’s Path” as it traces a parabolic shape as it climbs to ever-higher degrees of refinement (this is what the player does, you may recall). This journey of upward undulation, often felt by the individual as an electric current, is sometimes preceded by the “Lightning Flash,” the original impetus, which strikes downward from the crown to the lowest point, thus awakening the serpent, which makes its ascent. So these images come together quite conveniently in the figure of this lightning-spewing sandworm. You may remember that the worm drops “Lightning Stake”; not some other miracle, but the one that forces lightning down upon the earth. To see this electric serpent coiled up within a hot, subterranean chamber teeming with life—it is hard to imagine a more direct depiction of the kundalini.

We have talked about Solaire as a symbol of the Self, that was at one time appropriate but now needs to be refined, and it is therefore appropriate that he should find himself consumed in the flames of the underworld. The fiery hells of Buddhism are sites of purification; the fire that rages and torments the victim is their own unbridled affects, but they eventually exhaust themselves. What remains after is purified ash, synonymous with the “white foliated Earth” of the alchemists. It is this type of “environment” in which the “gold”—the personality—should be sown, in order to reach its potential. This is assumedly what has already happened to the Ashen One of Dark Souls 3, given their title and the fact that they have arisen from ash; it also seems to be descriptive of the process at hand for the kingdom of Lothric.

It’s easy to imagine that players might unconsciously project the image of Solaire’s rebirth onto this worm. For reasons related to Solaire’s story, as previously discussed, and for these perennial myths. At another point in the journey, the player is also confronted with Rosaria, the Mother of Rebirth, who “respecs” people—reallocates their stats and qualities. The only risk this refinement brings is that the person may become a worm! A few casualties of this process are seen or implied elsewhere in the game. These “mangrubs” are quite revolting, and yet at least a few are linked to the highest divinity. This should not surprise us:

Typical of the paradoxical imagery of the unconscious, the despicable worm can turn into the supreme value. Thus the messiah is equated with a worm in the messianic Psalm 22, verse 6: ‘But I am a worm and no man; a reproach of men, and despised of the people.’ (Edinger AoP 158)

For the full renewal of the image of the Self, it is necessary that the old king(/sun) dies. The body decays, and at its most revolting, it becomes the bed and the feast of maggots. Because Smouldering Lake is beneath the Catacombs, it can be said to be taking place within the body within the grave. The entire scene can be read as allegory of the processes within the body in the midst of its resurrection. The “messiah” here is invoked because Christ is another euphemism for the Self. And just as the dead king’s body is diffused into the bellies of the maggots, so too does Christ’s flesh become the object of consumption during the Eucharist. This takes us conveniently into our next bizarre fan theory.

Solaire Has Become Soup Slightly more arcane than the theory of Solaire’s transfiguration into a worm, is the notion of his transubstantiation into the Estus Soup, which is found in a few cauldrons throughout Lothric. The justification for this theory was handily summarized on a reddit by a now-deleted user:

Consider the room you get the sunbro badge in undead settlement. It also contains an estus soup bowl...

The sunbro badge is found on a device for dismembering corpses. We know this becasue we see the same device being used to cut up bodies later in the undead settlement just before the stairs down to the lower area with the ravine

The sunbro badge is simply a rag of cloth sitting on the device, which heavily implies that a sunbro was cut up on this device and his badge was left over as a part of the cutting up process

Underneath the cutting up device are an absolute ton of small bowls, receptacles to contain fluid. What fluid will the cutting up device produce? blood and human bodily fluid.

These same bowls can be seen all around the main estus soup pot....

The blood of the dismembered sunbros/other undead is extracted in the cutting process into the small bowls. These bowls are then take to the main pot and their essences poured into the main soup pot which is boiled and the estus fluid is extracted from the blood of the chopped up sunbros. This is what forms the radiant estus soup.

The player is in some sense conditioned to think this, because the entire Undead Settlement is oriented around the disposal of corpses. Moreover, Estus Soup is found at two more places, one of which holds Solaire’s talisman, and the other near paintings of Gwynevere (saint of the sunbros). Now, the more reasonable interpretation of the presence of these Sunlight artifacts near Estus Soup is that Siegward, who is later shown to be the one concocting the soup, leaves them behind in his absent-mindedness. Siegward’s attitude and behavior are very reflective of the “jolly cooperation” ethos, and thus we naturally assume that he is affiliated with the Warriors of Sunlight.

This, however, does not disprove that the Estus Soup is Solaire! Not to say that Solaire was butchered by Siegward, and bled into the soup via the grisly method described above; rather it is more likely that a faithful Warrior of Sunlight has consecrated this special drink in a manner similar to the Christian Eucharist. To understand the concept of the Eucharist, here is an excerpt from the Gnostic Gospel of Thomas:

The cup of prayer contains wine and contains water, being established as a representation of the blood over which thanksgiving is offered. And it is full of the holy spirit, and belongs entirely to the perfect human being. Whenever we drink it we take unto ourselves the perfect human being. The living water is a body.” (Gnostic scriptures p347)

In other words, “the Eucharistic blood represented the Soul of Christ.” (Jung & von Franz 93). The fact that “the conception of blood as soul prevailed in the middle ages,”(ibid. 93) is visually quoted by Dark Souls periodically, and further prepares the player to respond to such symbolic signaling within this fantasy setting.

Now, Solaire as a Christ figure who becomes the subject of a Lothric Eucharist is probably not a theory that anyone would thread together without the specific intent of performing a Christian reading of Dark Souls. The reason that I discuss it now is because the existence of the Solaire-as-soup theory seems to have arrived at a similar situation unconsciously, and slightly rephrased into a secular materialist framework (more palatable to the conscious mind). We have examined how Solaire is an uncommonly strong draw for projections of the player’s better nature. It is also a fact of our world that certain Christian concepts—such as Christ representing a fully realized being to whom we should aspire, or the mysteries of the Eucharist—are present in the background of the unconscious. These stories and motifs were so ubiquitous for so long in the western world, that even if we live fully secular lives, this material continues to radiate its influence through the thinnest, unassuming little cracks in our speech, our aesthetics, and our stories.

So without any intention on the part of the player, their experience of the character Solaire receives some influence from the Christian world. This effect is aided by a few other elements. There is his resemblance to common depictions of knights from the Crusades, whose defining associations are Christianity and the fact that they were seeking something. Of course we also have the fact of his signature gesture which is similar to the pose of the crucified Christ. This essay has already described this gesture’s prominent contribution to the memetic potency of Solaire, but it bears mentioning that if the player joins this covenant, they perform the gesture automatically upon being summoned—any active sunbro is quite literally forced into imitating this pose! And of course, a third reason for this unconscious association of Christ and Solaire is the factor of the mysterious and divine parentage.

Which is Canon? So of these two fringe headcanons, which is the more valid? Is Solaire a worm or is he soup? Taking anthropology into account, we must recognize that the death and resurrection of the Sun-god naturally predates Christ, and Christian myths are often studied in that context. It is just as natural to see Solaire as a personification of the Sun, of goodwill, or of the Logos … although Christ also covers that ground. Whatever the case may be, the dismemberment and consumption of this embodied principle seems to be a common feature of these stories. Both the worms who feed on the king’s corpse, and the Eucharistic wine/blood, are images of this concept—and perhaps both images are necessary. The feast of the worms is the profane image, and the Eucharist is the sacred and civil version. After all, for the dissemination of this quality of consciousness to be complete, it must extend to every level. Edinger gives us another broad summary of the concept:

[The Golden Man] represents the microcosmos or monas, the initial matter, which also contains the goal of the work. His dismemberment signifies a new conscious ordering of his initial chaotic nature.

It is difficult to consider terms like “initial matter” and appreciate the fullness of the concept. In nitpicking over the details of the specific images, we may begin to lose sight of the importance and universality of the basic story. This is why it is so important that there are multiple histories, multiple headcanons. If Solaire was only the worm, or only the soup, he would be less complete and less adequate as a symbol. And there are many headcanons besides these, of course; they merely represent two aggregations with a mythologically fertile tension between them. By the incredible multivalence of the Sun’s many arms, he means something different and individual to each player.

And speaking of the “goal of the work.” The return of the Sun in the morning is not considered a triumph merely because it has survived. Withstanding the night in itself is hardly an achievement! It is a triumph because something has been earned in the descent, and the same is true of the story of Christ’s incarnation. When the Sun-god rises again, something has been purified, refined, or to use the preferred Christian term, redeemed. The personal stories of players also seem to follow this trajectory. Dark Souls doesn’t treat depression simply because players are enduring its difficulty, it’s because some special quality of attention is polished through their struggles. We ought also to remember that Solaire willingly became Undead so he could visit Lordran and find his own Sun. The descent into incarnation for the purpose of refinement is a journey that should only be made consciously, with optimism and good cheer, for that is the Sun’s native condition.

Edinger, Edward. Anatomy of the Psyche. Open Court Publishing Company, 1985. Jung, Carl. Psychology and Religion: East and West. Princeton University Press, 1969. Jung, Emma & Marie-Louise von Franz. The Grail Legend. Sigo Press, 1980. Layton, Bentley, ed. The Gnostic Scriptures. Yale University Press, 1995 Neumann, Eric. The Origins and History of Consciousness. Bollingen Foundation, 1954. Valborg, Helen. Great Symbols Series: the Serpent. Theosophy Trust, 2013.

Solaire is Pump-a-Rum Actually, you are this fledgling.

#dark souls #dark souls lore #solaire #knight solaire #dark souls 1 #dark souls 3 #solaire sandworm #carthus sandworm #gwyn's firstborn

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sapphiretrams · 5 years

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Get to Know Me Tag

I was kind of tagged by @intricately-silly? Like, I have a notification that I was mentioned??? Idk, but thanks if you did!

Rules: Post a pic of your simself with your traits and answer the questions!

Traits: creative + good + music lover

1. What is your full name? Riley, and that’s all I’m gonna say

2. What is your nickname? I kinda gave myself the nickname RPS? You can also call me Trams cause of my url, I don’t mind.

3. When is your birthday? September 5

4. What is your favorite book series? Favorite book series... probably Harry Potter. I’m not obsessed with it (cause J.K. is kinda not a good person) but it’s one of the few series I remember reading.

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Sure. I’m not a hardcore believer, and when I watch Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural, I’m DEFINITELY a Shaniac, but I’m definitely not closed to the idea.

6. Who is your favorite author? Probably Charles Dickens or Shakespeare. I’m a sucker for that classic literature stuff.

7. What is your favorite radio station? Eh, I don’t really listen to the radio.

8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? Lemon! It’s just SO good in all candy flavors, and I love it so much.

9. What word do you often use to describe something great or wonderful? Rad, awesome, cool, the usuals and occasionally terms that are super dated like tubular.

10. What is your favorite song currently? God that’s hard cause I love music so much... maybe Planetary (GO!) or Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na) by MCR.

11. What is your favorite word? Petrichor

12. What is the last song you listened to? The Cage by Genesis

13. What TV show would you recommend everyone to watch? Forensic Files, it’s fascinating to me

14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? I haven’t been one to watch movies when down so I don’t really have one

15. Do you play video games? Yep! I’ve been playing them a lot

16. What is your biggest fear? Being abandoned. It’s happened to me so often by friends that it’s just sort of become common place and I’m terrified of it.

17. What is your best quality in your opinion? My optimism!

18. What is your worst quality in your opinion? My inability to talk alshdafsdf I’m such a klutz at speaking

19. Do you like cats or dogs better? Dogs, though I do love cats.

20. What is your favorite season? Spring! Everything is turning green and flowering and it’s so refreshing to feel the rain on your face!

21. Are you in a relationship? Nope, I am tragically single

22. What is something you miss from your childhood? Having my parents read stories to me and my brothers, it was such a fun time in my childhood.

23. Who is your best friend? My friend Elli, a super cool nb person who’s been my friend for around 2 years now.

24. What is your eye color? Hazel

25. What is your hair color? Dark brown, though it’s been bleached and I would love to have green hair again.

26. Who is someone you love? Myself 💕

27. Who is someone you trust? My mom. She’s on my side no matter what, and she’s the first family member I told about my sexual and gender identity.

28. Who is someone you think about often? My ocs

29. Are you currently excited about something? Not really, I’m just kinda drifting atm

30. What is your biggest obsession? The Adventure Zone. It is SO. GOOD. I love the McElroys, and they mean a lot to me.

31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? The 1994 Spider-Man series. That SM has always been my favorite and he always will be.

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to? What’s a gender?

33. Are you superstitious? Sorta I guess

34. Do you have an unusual phobias? I HATE arteries and tendons. HATE HATE HATE them. They freak me out and I have to cover them up when I start getting freaked out by them. I’ve had this fear since I was a child.

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? Both baby!

36. What is your favorite hobby? Drawing!!!

37. What is the last book you read? Pieces of Happiness by Anne Ostby

38. What was the last movie you watched? Thor: Ragnorak

39. What musical instruments do you play? Violin, a little guitar, some piano?

40. What is your favorite animal? It’s hard for me to pick, but my favorite since I was a baby is a tiger.

41. What are your top five favorite Tumblr blogs? @viper-fish @berrybloomsims @lunacysims @mellindi @sim-borg

42. What super power do you wish you had? The power to refill stuff.

43. When and where do you feel most at peace? When I’m driving. There’s something about the freedom that just makes me feel so at peace, and I love feeling like I’m not restrained by anything.

44. What makes you smile? My dog. Everything about him just makes my heart swell

45. What sports do you play? I used to be a soccer champ when I was young.

46. What is your favorite drink? Diet Peach Snapple or Dr Pepper

47. When was the last time you wrote a handwritten letter or note to someone? When I was in like, 8th grade

48. Are you afraid of heights? Not really, though I was when I was younger.

49. What is your biggest pet peeve? I’m a very patient person, so probably when people talk to me when I wanna be left alone tbh.

50. Have you ever been to a concert? Yep. Maroon 5 was the last one. I hope to go to more too.

51. Are you vegetarian or vegan? Nah

52. When you were little what did you want to be when you grew up? A wild life veterinarian. I would throw my stuffed tiger down the stairs and “rescue” her.

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? The Adventure Zone: Balance world.

54. What is something you worry about? My dog since he’s getting up their in years, finding a college to go to and what I want to major in college, my bf’s safety, occasionally my parents when I’m paranoid and worried something might happen.

55. Are you scared of the dark? Nah. It’s nice. I’m more paranoid something might be in the dark, but,

56. Do you like to sing? Yes! I’m pretty decent at it, too, so I love it.

57. Have you ever skipped school? Yeah. I got really depressed when I was in high school and I stayed at home, calling in sick. Which I was, but it wasn’t entirely honest.

58. What is your favorite place on the planet? My desk, it has all my stuff on it and it’s cluttered to my liking.

59. Where would you like to live? Germany, or maybe France if I can learn the language. Maybe split the difference and move to Switzerland.

60. Do you have any pets? Just my baby boy TJ whom I adore.

61. Are you an early bird or a night owl? Night owl, though I’ve been making more of an effort to wake up early. I also get more done when I wake up early, cause it feels like I have more time to do things before noon.

62. Do you like sunrise or sunsets better? Sunsets, mostly cause I’m able to see them from my house.

63. Do you know how to drive? Yep!

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? Earbuds. I have headphones, but you can’t really wear them in public cause they get in the way.

65. Have you ever had braces? No, though I did have a chin strap when I was younger cause I had (and still have) an underbite.

66. What is your favorite genre of music? My music goes all over the place, but showtunes are my jam.

67. Who is your hero? 1994 Spider-Man. I specify because he’s really different from other versions, and he’s so smart and such a klutz and I grew up with him. I’ve been playing the new Spider-Man game for PS4 and I almost started crying from how close he is to MY SM, and he just reminds me of my morals.

68. Do you read comic books? Nah

69. What makes you the most angry? Politics atm. Don’t even talk to me about them. I don’t like being angry and any talk about the current political situation is just infuriating.

70. Do you prefer to read real books or on an electric device? Either, though real books hold a special aesthetic to them.

71. What is your favorite subject in school? English. Like I said, I’m a literary nerd.

72. Do you have any siblings? Two, an older and a younger brother.

73. What was the last thing you bought? Ariana Grande’s song No Tears Left to Cry

74. How tall are you? 5′ 7″, perfectly average

75. Can you cook? Eh, I can do the basic stuff, and if I have a recipe in front of me then sure, but otherwise? Don’t ask.

76. What are three things that you love? My dog, myself, my mom.

77. What are three things that you hate? Politics, White™ people, being expected to know things I was never told about (cough cough @ my boss)

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? Honestly, I have more nb friends than either

79. What is your sexual orientation? Pansexual

80. Where do you currently live? The Midwest

81. Who was the last person you texted? My mom

82. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday because I was laughing so goddamn hard

83. Who is your favorite youtuber? Game Grumps and you can fight me on that

84. Do you like to take selfies? Yep! I’m hot and I know it. I’ve hated myself for 5 years, I deserve to be infatuated with myself.

85. What is your favorite app? Monster Girl Creator. It’s so fun.

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? My mom and I are super close, but my dad and I... eh. It’s kinda damaged, though it’s better than it was when I was in high school. He doesn’t understand LGBT stuff or depression so he was just... awful.

87. What is your favorite foreign accent? Probably French, but the funniest to try and do is Russian. I suck at it and it turns into Italian after a while.

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to but want to visit? God I want to travel so bad. I’d love to go to Puerto Rico, France, Germany, Italy, Brazil, Vietnam... so many beautiful places.

89. What is your favorite number? Three

90. Can you juggle? Not for my life

91. Are you religious? I’ve kinda been burned out of religion cause my childhood church was really just... bad. I came out as bi to them when I was a sophomore and it caused a HUGE scene with the church. I was called ‘a slap to the face,’ people left the church, it was just bad. I’m spiritual, but not religious, though my life’s not over yet, so who knows.

92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? Space. Space space space. Do you know how badly I want to go to space? I almost became an engineer just so I could go to space.

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? I’m pretty tame, in all honesty, though I do some stupid shit every now and then.

94. Are you allergic to anything? Bullshit, any and every kind of body soap known to man kind, and pollen.

95. Can you curl your tongue? Yes! I can do the double fold think with your tongue where it looks like a scoop chip, you know what I mean?

96. Can you wiggle your ears? Nah

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? I come from a really stubborn household, though lately I’ve been trying to make more of an effort to be humble and just admit I’m wrong. It’s hard.

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? Forest. I’ve only been to the beach twice in my life so it’s not really my scene.

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? Do what makes you happy

100. Are you a good liar? I’ve gotten very good at it. I’m not proud of that fact, but I’ve gotten very very good at it.

101. What is your Hogwarts house? Slyterin. No, I’m not joking.

102. Do you talk to yourself? All the time.

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? I’m an introvert, though I think I’m more of an ambivert.

104. Do you keep a journal or a diary? Nah.

105. Do you believe in second chances? Yes, but you really can’t give them out really freely. You have to judge who you want to give them to.

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? Check for an ID and try to contact the person it belongs to. But if there’s no ID, probably give it to the nearest business or police station.

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? With most things. If they really wanted to.

108. Are you ticklish? Ye

109. Have you ever been on a plane? Yeah, but not many times. My first time on a plane was 4 years ago.

110. Do you have any piercings? Just the basic earlobe pierecings, but I really really want more.

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? Shiro from Voltron, aka my husband.

112. Do you have any tattoos? No but I want so many

113. What is the best decision that you have made so far? Learning to love myself. It took a lot of time, but I’m so happy I did it

114. Do you believe in karma? Not entirely, but I think there’s some truth to it.

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? I have bad eyes, so yeah, I wear glasses. I tried contacts, but they got irritating to put in after a while.

116. Do you want children? SO badly. I want a little girl so fucking bad

117. Who is the smartest person you know? My little brother. He wants to be a freaking accountant when he’s older.

118. What is your most embarrassing memory? I went to a museum one time, and they had a cool dinosaur tour or whatever, and I wanted to know what the dinosaur Parasaurolophus was called, but I forgot the name and only remebered like, Ducky from Land Before Time, and Phineas and Ferb had just started airing, so I asked the guy if a platypus was a dinosaur and that haunts me to this day

119. Have you ever pulled an all nighter? Yes. Don’t do it.

120. What color are most of your clothes? Blue cause it’s always looked good on me, but now any color looks good on me cause I know how to own it.

121. Do you like adventures? Yeah man! I love them!

122. Have you ever been on TV? Not that I know of

123. How old are you? 20

124. What is your favorite quote? “When someone leaves your life, those exits are not made equal. Some are beautiful and poetic and satisfying. Others are abrupt and unfair. But most are just unremarkable, unintentional, clumsy.” -Griffin Mcelroy

125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? Sweeeets!

I tag @viper-fish @berrybloomsims and @lunacysims

#rps speaks #tagged #nonsims

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acrobaticcatfeline · 5 years

Text

Rebuilding a Broken Mind, an Orphan Sanders fic

Word Count: 6484

TW: swearing, only a little bit, death mention, murder mention, doctors? patton is a veterinarian, idk if doctors is a trigger but you know better safe than sorry, i wrote thomas as bi and married to a chick but hes dead so like? also patton is pan and likes a chick. patton gets overwhelmed and cries a lot.

Notes: This is my orphan au and i cherish it they’re all such goods.

Pairings: uh none really, thomas and valerie, patton is crushing on my OC.

Summary: “Oh! Um, hi! My name is Patton Sanders, nice to meet you! Um, I’m 20, a veterinarian, and well, I’m an orphan.” Patton lost his parents when he was 15 and had to raise himself and his three younger brothers on his own. hes 20 now, and hes got a job and hes starting to get his life together. Of course with reminders of his parents constantly surrounding him, it makes it hard to really move on.

Oh! Um, hi! My name is Patton Sanders, nice to meet you! Um, I’m 20, a veterinarian, and well, I’m an orphan. I have three little brothers named Virgil, Logan, and Roman! They are so super awesome! Virgil is the sporty guy at his high school, he’s 17 and the captain of like, all of the schools’ sport teams! Logan is my little genius! He’s only 14, but he’s a whole two years ahead and in high school with Virge! Roman is my theatre kiddo, he’s in every arts program at his school and knows how to play just about every instrument at only 9!!! Now, as for me, I’m nothing special, I just try really really hard, so my brothers are safe. I triple timed high school and college so that by the time I turned 18 I had my degree in veterinary medicine. Logan claims I pulled an Aaron Burr by doing this, which I don’t fully understand, but I assume it’s a cool thing. I only did what I had to though, we were already orphaned by the time I started high school, which meant we had no money for college. My high school said that it would pay all my college expenses if I followed the guidelines set, and so I super dashed through school. I managed to ace just about all my classes with some help from my friends and siblings. But that isn’t what this is about. I’m not the focus in this story, I’m just the narrator and eyes. This is a story about 4 kids forced to grow up far too fast. This is a story of the children of the most amazing people. Because when it comes down to it, we’re broken minds, struggling to put ourselves back together.

Now, to start, we have to explain what happened first. Our parents, Thomas and Val Sanders were out at a college play that a friend of theirs was a part of. Unfortunately, they never made it out alive. One of the people attending the play started a shoot-out with about 5 others helping him. Nearly the whole auditorium was killed. Including them.

We had no living next of kin, so a family friend took us in for a short while before dropping us all off at the orphanage. I will never forget that day. I remember them letting us grab our important things from our old house. I remember crying while holding all my siblings close. I remember having to be dragged out of my home. I remember the looks of pure pity from the orphanage staff. I remember them trying to separate me from my brothers. I remember almost punching them. I remember the name of the staff member who was the only one to understand and let us stay together, his name was Terrance. I remember hugging him before we were ushered off. I remember the confusion from Roman when we told him we weren’t going home. I remember Virgil carrying him around telling him that this was home now, with faux excitement and a plastic smile. I remember Roman thinking mom and dad were still coming back, and none of us having the heart to tell him otherwise. I remember Logan not speaking at all for the next month. But most of all, I remember the broken parts that got littered everywhere we went.

I was 15. Roman was only 4. We were broken beyond repair. At least, I thought we were. I thought for sure that we were going to go straight from the orphanage to the homeless shelter. But I did it. I managed to do something, and it changed our lives forever.

The day before I turned 18, I went through with my plan. I have friends named Joan and Talyn who already had a house due to Talyn’s parents having money to spare. They let us stay with them for as long as we needed. We brought all of our things over and we explained the rules of this new situation. My bros were quick to follow instruction. The next day we officially moved out of the horrible child prison we were owned by. I was already well into my job as a vet tech and was able to fully become a veterinarian the next month due to my boss seeing that I was at least twice as competent as the resident vets. And so, it began.

It was bittersweet when we got our own place, as Joan and Talyn had grown to adore my little brothers in the short year we lived there. But I had finally earned enough money to rent a house, plus the orphanage contacted me, telling me about a very large inheritance we apparently had, which was somehow enough to buy said house. We ended up moving in and used the money I earned for beds and a couch.

Over the next year we bought more furniture and accessories as we saw fit. At the present moment, my room is bright blue with animal posters and pop culture references sprawled about randomly. Logan and Roman’s room is split in half. One side is meticulous with dark blue and black walls and a few nerdy posters, mostly of doctor who and Sherlock Holmes. The other however, was messy as all get out, had musical posters everywhere and usually had the mess all the way up to the metaphorical line. Logan never complained unless Roman’s things crossed it. Now Virgil confused me. I was planning on him sharing a room with me, but he refused, claiming that I needed privacy and rest since I was working full time and he wasn’t. All he wanted was a couch, some bedding, music, and some makeup. Because I’m a stubborn mule, whenever he lets me buy him things, I buy him the most bestest makeup and all his favorite albums, as well as some of the best headphones sold. He gets mad at me, but he deserves the world and more.

Okay, now we’re in the present! So, I might as well start the actual story now. Ok well then. Its Friday morning, today the big game at the high school is happening, which means Virgil has to leave early for practice. By early, I mean about the time that I leave for work which is 6 am.

I get up and make food like I normally do, only doubled because Lo and Virge usually sleep for another half an hour. Ro always gets up with me because I’m his ride to school. Virgil has a motorcycle that he drives himself and Logan to school on. I start up some friendly conversation as we eat, Virgil still groggy from sleep.

“are you ready for the game today? Isn’t it against the school rivals? I hope you guys beat them again, but I’m sure you will with such a good captain!!!” I wink at him as he chuckles.

“yeah, we’ve got this, if anything, I’ve got this, and that’s really the point. Yeah, it’s our rivals, the panthers, today. Not that they’ve ever been a challenge. We’ve swept the floor with them for countless years. And thanks for the poorly concealed compliment. Do we have anymore coffee?” he rambles off answers to my questions.

“yeah, but I don’t get paid til tomorrow and there’s only a cup worth left. Proceed at your own risk.” As soon as I say it, Logan zooms to the coffee and brews it for himself, cackling maniacally (giggling cutely).

“HAHAH!!! You will never get a drop of the saccharine nectar!!! Tis mine, forever and always!” he brushes his hair back with his hand and smiles at us. Roman beams and stands up in a fighting stance.

“thou shalt not loot this poor pauper of his deserved libation!!! Come at me thy villainous fiend!” and quickly the two start playing mock sword fighting. Me and Virgil laugh as Logan gets vanquished and the cup of coffee gets given to V. Logan ends up stealing some still, to my amusement.

We end up splitting up as the kiddos go to school and I head to work. I walk in, put on my coat, and then the place blows up. There is a half dead dog on my table and another 2 that are at least stable waiting. I’m apparently the only actual vet that showed up today. Great. Today’s gonna be fun.

I’m not gonna go into what happened at work, because honestly, not much happened. It was an average day at work, but now is time for the interesting part!!! So, the big game at the high school is happening today right? Well, let me talk about it!

So, I go and pick up Roman from school and head over to the high school while asking Ro about his day. He learned a healthy amount of animal and plant biology, so I talk about some of the things he didn’t understand and made a few biology puns which were received quite well luckily! When we get to the school, I call Logan to figure out where he had stationed himself. We meet up and find a nice spot on the bleachers. Not long after, the teams came out and started playing. Virgil is easy to spot, not to mention the announcers are constantly shouting about him as he keeps running the ball the furthest of either team. The game is pretty average for the most part, up until the very end. Virge takes the win but not a second after, he gets tackled full force to the ground. I stand up and look over the crowd as I see him up again, shoving the other guy away. The guy gets up close to his face and I think Virgil is going to punch him-oh god please don’t punch him. The guy gets dragged away by the referee and Virgil has a bunch of teammates coming to check on him and I feel much less on edge. I shouldn’t though. As soon as I think it’s done the announcers go quiet and the stands go crazy as Virgil uppercuts the guy and then knees him in the stomach.

“what just happened there?! Kyle, why did Sanders just risk his high school career like that?!”

“Fitton insulted sanders’ younger brother.” Oh. Oh no. Oh HELL NO! Logan stands up and looks in the direction of the guy and visibly shudders. Oh, he’s lucky that V got to him first. Oh, I might be going to jail guys! The rest of this story might be told from prison!

“Logan, do you know that guy?” I ask calmly. He looks at me before turning away.

“um, yeah. He uh, he’s an ex of mine…” I tense up. He’s never told me about him having been in a relationship! He tells me everything! Ugh, that’s not important right now…

“is he a freshman? I haven’t seen him on the team before.” Lo nods.

“yeah, we met at the local library. I didn’t tell you cuz I didn’t think you’d want me to date someone and um, never mind… Anyways, we broke up cuz he was trying to pressure me into doing um, bad things.” I twitch. Oh, I might kill him. I shake my head and take Roman’s hand and start walking down towards the team to pick up Virgil. We get down there and I check up on Virgil, checking for medical issues; he very well could have gotten another concussion. I get distracted when Virgil hisses at something behind me.

“oh, calm down parselhead. I wasn’t even coming over here for you” I hear in a low drawl behind me. “how’s it hanging bookie?”

“first off, I’ve told you what that actually means and that that nickname bothers me, please cease this instant, and second, I’m doing fine how are you Loki?” I hear Logan say calmly. I tense slightly and turn around with an angry look on my face.

“Logan you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. I know for certain I wouldn’t if I were you.” Logan looks at me but shakes his head.

“I can converse with an ex and still be civil about it Pat. It’s no problem.” he smiles softly at me, but I can’t help the anger that swells in my chest seeing the huge smirk that this guy is wearing.

“yeah Patton we can be civil here, no need for this hostility. Anyways, I’m doing fantastic Logan! Thank you for asking! I even have a new boyfriend, one who doesn’t try to keep me a secret.” His voice is contradictory to his words.

“it was two years ago, and I was twelve and still in an orphanage, I didn’t need my older brother worrying about me anymore than he already did. Plus, I barely understood my emotions, how do you think I would deal with my brothers’?” Logan crosses his arms and looks up at him accusingly.

“I dunno, I sorta thought you were enjoying the relationship, but you just ended it for no reason, citing your brother as too intimidating to cross, and neither of them look that scary to me.” He says and I look over to Logan in confusion. He walks closer to him and starts talking again, harsher than before.

“you and I both know that wasn’t what happened. You got pissed off that I didn’t want to go smoke and bang you arrogant prick. Also, I’d watch what you say about my brothers if I were you.” He just smirks while he backs away.

“okay then, I see I’m no longer wanted here. See you round bookie.” He walks away, and Logan shakes his head and face palms.

“every fricking time… I try to be civil but he always… ugh never mind it doesn’t matter. V are you okay? I don’t know what Loki said, but I can almost guarantee it was a lie. Also, he has a ridiculously hard skull, don’t ask how I know that, are you bleeding? Concussed?” Logan looks up at Virgil with a worried smile.

“yeah, I’m sure it was a lie, didn’t make it any less enraging. And no, I’m not bleeding or concussed. You dated him? How?! He’s such a prick!!!” Logan laughs.

“I don’t know, he was interesting. He told good stories and listened to me when I needed to vent. He’s also an incredibly good pillow. Really, he was just, the person I needed at the time, I guess.” He shrugs. Virgil is still watching him leave with an angry glare fixed on his face. I decide to change the topic.

“hey guys, you want pizza for dinner tonight? Food for champions!” the other three smile and cheer. V changes out and we head home, and I hand make three pizzas from scratch the way that we usually like it. Dad loved pizza and he said my pizza was the best, so I usually make it for celebrations or as a pick-me-up. It seems like its serving as both tonight. While its baking I make a couple of announcements.

“okay, so I’m going shopping tomorrow morning, but when I’m done with that, I thought we’d go visit Joan and Talyn? They have some presents for you all.” All three of them look up from what they were doing with wide eyes and smiles.

“YEEEEESSS!!! JOAN AND TALYN ARE SUPER AWESOMAZINGSAUCE YAAAAAAYYY!!!” Roman screams. I giggle as Roman jumps around and hugs me. Logan laughs along with me as he pulls Roman away.

“calm down Ro, Pat is cooking, you can’t be that close to the hot oven. I’m excited too, yes Ro.” Virgil looks at me questioningly.

“why do they always get us gifts? It seems like every time we see them, they have stacks of presents for us.” I shrug.

“well, I sort of introduced my lifelong friends to my 7, 12, and 15-year-old brothers who were sort of helpless at the time. They like me, but they adore you guys. Some kind of cool grandparent syndrome I guess.” Virgil laughs loudly at this as the pizzas beep. I pull them out to cool and tell some more puns to pass the time. The evening goes on without a hitch, we play a round of word association games as we eat our pizza. I pack up the leftovers in lunch bags for the 4 of us and then clean up the kitchen. As I finish with that, Roman shouts for me to tell him a story.

I tell a story of a brave prince who has to protect his kingdom from a fierce dragon witch. The dragon witch had stolen away the princes soon to be bride. The prince fought through many trials to save his fiancé, however he was beaten to it by another beautiful princess who had won the maidens heart instead. The prince was of course fair, as the princess had fairly bested him, and so he went on a mission to love himself before he went around looking for a fitting bride-or groom, again. Roman sleepily cheers and snuggles into a black cat plush V gave him.

The most difficult to get to sleep is Logan, who just wants to read all night. He changes to a different book just as I walk over to his desk. “Lo, you need to go to bed. You want to be well rested for tomorrow kiddo. You can read your book tomorrow, I promise the ending won’t change, and it won’t leave without you.” He yawns, he has had a long day.

“if I go to sleep will you sing for me? Please?” he looks at me with puppy dog eyes.

“of course, Lo. Bookmark your page and go get ready for bed and I’ll sing for you.” He smiles and rushes off to get ready. He’s back in a few minutes.

“can you sing dads old lullaby? If not its ok but-” I cut him off.

“of course, I can Lo.”

“somewhere there’s someone who wants you to be

How they want you to be, their opinion

They’ll paint you the colors that they wanna see

And to them, its Monet,

But to you, it’s a gray, silhouette

So, pick up a pencil, a stencil, a crayon,

The picture is not finished yet

You can let someone else tell you your story,

You can let someone else tell you what’s true

Or you can set yourself free,

Climb the tallest highest tree,

Or maybe sit back and take in the view,

You can let yourself, let yourself do

Anything.”

By the time I finish the chorus, Logan is sound asleep, snoring softly and cuddling an owl plush. I get up, tuck him in, turn off the lights, then head into the living room. Virgil is laying on the couch with his headphones on full blast. I grab his sleep meds and a cup of water and hand them over to him.

“hey, you shouldn’t listen to your music that loud, it could damage your hearing. You don’t have to listen to me, but I just wanted to let you know. I worry about you guys, you know?” he smiles and takes the meds. He turns down the volume on his headphones and nods.

“sorry Pat, I didn’t realize they were that loud. And, we worry about you too. You do way more for us than you have to. Anyways, thanks for the meds and sleep well okay? Don’t stay up all night again.” I giggle and nod before giving him a quick hug and going to my room.

I do a few pieces of paperwork that I wasn’t able to do before the end of my shift and send a quick text to my vet tech Elenora, checking in on her, as she’s been off on vacation and she’s supposed to be getting back tomorrow, and she has some things she needs to pick up at the office. She’s also absolutely amazing and sweet and beautiful and I love talking to her so so much. But that’s beside the point. After I get all of that done, I check the time, realizing that its now 11:45 and I should have been in bed an hour ago. I quickly fall asleep soon after luckily.

The next day is super-duper hectic so like, hold onto your horses, this is gonna be a wild ride! Okay okay, so I get up at 8 and go shopping, blah blah, tons of coffee because my boys and I have a problem. I unload everything by 10 which is when the kiddos are waking up. Virgil apologizes for not waking up to help but I wave him off as I start to make a small lunch because three meals a day, but Joan and Talyn are probably going to take us out for lunch knowing them, so I don’t want us to lose our appetite, that’d be rude! Anyways I set out the 4 plates and eat mine before going to take a quick shower. By the time I shower and change, all three of them are conversing around the table. I smile fondly because, hey, I helped raise these fantastic kiddos! LOOK AT MY BROTHERS!!! Okay, I’m good now. I walk up to the table and they all smile happily at me before going back to their debate.

“listen, if you have straight caffeine you die, therefore this stuff is totally deadly and like, we’re slowly killing ourselves by drinking it.” Virgil says, being devil’s advocate per usual.

“well yes but that’s like chlorine and sodium!!! They are both deadly elements on their own, but together give us salt! Not to mention that even too much water can kill a human! And! Another point, coffee is a natural occurrence just like water!!! In reasonable quantities, coffee is perfectly safe!!!” Logan rants passionately making me glad that I invested some money into speech and debate for him. Roman grins.

“but if water, coffee, and salt could kill us, does that mean that the world is trying to kill all life on it?!? are we living on a death rock?!? LOGAN IS THE WORLD GONNA KILL US?!?!” his grin slowly gets sadder and more scared as he continues. Logan flinches slightly.

“I mean, technically humans have been killing the earth for years so I wouldn’t put it out of the question that that is the reason that everything on earth is potentially deadly to humans. That would make sense… gosh darn it why do you always send me into steadily collapsing bouts of existentialism?” Logan shakes his head likely jumping into one of his existential crises.

“do I want to know the opening remarks?” I ask and they all shake their heads no. I grab a mug and make myself some creamer with a hint of coffee. Heheh!!! Caramel coffee is very good, but caramel mint coffee is even better! Roman runs off to get changed right as Logan goes to take a quick shower. V asks to change in my room which I am totally ok with because of course!!!

Oh! I should say what we’re wearing shouldn’t I? okay okay, so I wear my favorite pair of khakis, which are quite worn from wear. I wear a pun-ny shirt about dogs, and a tan cardigan with black white and purple plaid shirt underneath. I also have some nice black boots. When Roman comes out, he’s dressed in a red theatre shirt, white jeans, and a white fluffy coat, with his favorite white fluff boots. Logan comes out with his talk nerdy to me tee, black ripped skinny jeans, a black fluffy jacket, black boots, and a snap back. Virgil ends up wearing his nirvana shirt, black ripped skinny jeans, leather jacket, and black converse.

Logan sneaks up behind Roman and puts one of his Disney caps on him. Roman gasps because Lo never shares his hats. He tries to give it back but Lo tells him not to. “I got that one just for you Ro, keep it.” I think RoRo almost cries as he dashes into a cute embrace with Lo. Logan giggles as he sees his baby brother smile. It really is the best feeling ever when you can be the cause of a smile.

Soon after the scene of pure wholesomeness, we head on our way to Joan and Talyn’s house. We are greeted by happy faces and a stack of gifts. This is normal I guess, like V mentioned, they always have piles of gifts for us.

“hiya!!! Glad you could make it! We decided to make a big meal instead of going out, I hope you guys don’t mind?” Talyn grins sheepishly. “and we also invited a couple more people. Sorry we didn’t tell you it was a surprise!”

“a surprise? Who’s here?” I ask, looking around them both to see. There are more gifts than usual. And they’re gift wrapped. Oh gosh what did I forget? Wait… what month is it? oops. I might’ve said that out loud.

“its January Pat.” Joan states simply with a growing grin. Oh god, it’s my birthday soon isn’t it.

“happy early birthday Patton-cake!” Talyn yells happily. Yup. Oh, I’m an idiot. I facepalm.

“I’m glad Joan called me on Monday, otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten your presents from us and brought them over!” V smirks as we walk in. of course they were all plotting against me, I should have known! As I walk in, I see Leo, Jamahl, Dominic, Dahlia, Kenny, Derionna, Rafaela, calypso, and oh god, how did they get Elenora?!? I don’t think I’ve ever even talked about her to them!!! Not to mention that she must be horribly jetlagged!

“oh my god no way!!! I love you guys so much aaaa!!! How do you even know Elie?!?” I say as I go around giving hugs to my friends from back in high school that I’ve missed so much.

“dude, Els is in a bunch of my classes. She never shuts up about work, so it was easy to find out that you guys knew each other. Not to mention her constant fawning over ‘doctor sanders’” Elie punches Joan in the arm.

“listen here bean boozled, are you gonna keep outing me or are we gonna start this party? I estimate the time between now and when I fall unconscious from exhaustion and jetlag is t minus 4 hours.” She states matter of factly. God, I love her, I’m so far gone.

Joan and Talyn attack me with a hat while I’m fantasizing, and they laugh mischievously as they drag me over to the table. Joan’s saying something in one ear and Talyn’s saying something else in my other and I’m confused as heck, but all my friends surround me as well as my baby brothers and start singing at me. I don’t even comprehend what they’re saying because my brain can’t remember the last time I had a surprise party, and its actively making me remember my 14th when my dad and mom threw me a giant birthday bash and it was all day long and we fell asleep in a pile on the couch and before I can stop it all the voices start freaking out and I touch my face and I finally notice that I’m crying, and gosh I just ruined it of course gosh darn it they all went out of their way to make this and now I’m just sad and crying. I feel a thud and finally pay enough attention to see Roman hugging me tightly and apologizing. I pat his head and smile at him before kneeling down and reassuring him.

“Ro Hun, it’s not your fault I’m crying, I just remember mom and dad that’s all. I was caught up in my head but I’m fine. I promise ro. Do you wanna help me blow out the candles?” Roman smiles widely and nods. I pick him up and we blow out the candles together. The others all smile and cheer. Joan stands next to me with a smirk. Oh gosh they’re going to have me do something dangerous and I’m gonna agree because its going to be fun and d a n g e r o u s.

“you realize we are stealing you tomorrow to go barhopping right? Els even offered to dd for us! I mean of course, she’s sorta still underage for a few more months, but yeah, you, me, Talyn, and els are going to have birthday bash part two and its going to sick as Fu-” I cover their mouth before they can finish their swear.

“my baby brothers are here!!! No swearing!!! It’ll hurt their poor innocent ears!!!” I see Virgil and Logan give me a skeptical look before I gesture at Roman and I see their eyes widen in realization, before they nod furiously in agreement. Roman obliviously drags Logan off to play with the bubbles that Joan had gotten to keep the little ones occupied. I uncover their mouth and shoot them a look before giving it up for a smile as I hug them.

“thank you for this Joan, it’s kind of you. You didn’t have to really, haven’t even seen you guys in a few months!”

“that’s exactly why we did it. We don’t need a reason to give the littles gifts, and if we have a reason to give you gifts you won’t turn them down. You never have been one for spontaneous presents, but you know what, I love ya man, and you deserve to get shit on your birthday you oaf. I always felt bad that you wouldn’t let me help you and the kids when we were still in high school. God its been so long now, we’re old pat! You know my mom always tells me that they’d be so proud of you whenever I tell her what you’ve been doing. She actually wanted me to give you something, its wrapped in the pile of gifts.” They winked and nodded over to the living room where far too many gifts in my opinion, were sitting. The rest of my friends were there too, keeping themselves entertained one way or another, and I saw that Logan and Roman were running around outside chasing bubbles.

I go over to the stack and feel immediately intimidated. I hear the door open and Roman and Logan come inside. They sit behind me and I grab the first present that I can reach. The wrapping is purple plaid and Virgil’s name is scrawled on the tag. I open it up and look at my brother with a mocking look as I pull out a pale blue lab coat with dog face emojis.

“oh my gosh you dork I love it!!!” I pull it on quickly, seeing how it fits and beam at him.

“I’m glad. You’ve got another one somewhere from me” ugh of course that’s how there’s so many gifts.

I grab the next one with the same wrapping and rip it open only to see a new surgical kit, which I had been desperately needing to get but had been avoiding. They’re ridiculously expensive and I haven’t had the money to spare. I don’t know how vee could have managed to get that much money, and I don’t understand why he would spend it on me. I feel tears welling up in my eyes for the second time today, and launch myself at Virgil, picking him up and twirling him around. I see Elenora look at the tools out of the corner of my eyes.

“holy crap how did you afford these? This set is worth almost a thousand!” Virgil gives a feeble look as I set him down.

“I’ve been saving up for a few months, no big, you had mentioned you needed a new set a while ago, and I know you wouldn’t let anyone give you one. You can’t give this one back otherwise it’d be wasted so ha I win.” He ends with a smirk, and I punch him in the arm for calling me out on my OCD about work.

I grab my next gift which is a deep red with a matching bow. I peel off the paper and see a Pooh bear onesie and I smile down at it before laying back to smile at Roman who is giggling loudly.

“Lo helped me find it!!! I know you love Pooh, so I thought you’d like it!!!”

“he had tried to get you a size that fit him at first it was really quite adorable. We got him a Tigger one to match but we told him he had to keep it hidden until you got yours.”

I reached out for a hug and instead Roman kissed my nose then pushed me back into a sitting position. I huffed dramatically before grabbing my next gift, from Logan. I rip open the striped paper and see a book called animal madness, about animal mental health, and I feel my smile widen. There’s another book, by Jackson galaxy called total cat mojo and I might have squealed a little bit?

“LOGAN, I LOVE THIS THANK YOU SO MUCH OH MY GOSH OH GEEZ THESE WILL BE SOOOOO HELPFUL!!!!!!” Logan smiles and chuckles softly.

“I had imagined so, you have said that a couple of your patients have had mental issues more than physical and you’ve seen them more often due to their owners not knowing how to treat them, I hope the books hold deeper insight than google.”

I give him a big hug, and then grab the next presents, opening one after another all very sweet but also rather irrelevant gifts including coffee, cooking ware, and fandom stuff. I eventually get to Elenora’s gift though, which I was slightly scared about opening if I’m being honest? It could be anything, what would she get me? I open the rose gold box that holds a few different items. The first I notice is a necklace with a four pawprints on them, each a different color, red, navy, cyan, and purple, and each with me and my brothers’ names. I smile softly at it as I put it on. The next thing in the box is a new stethoscope that matched my light blue theme at work. After that is a build a bear Alolan Vulpix plush with an absolutely adorable cloak and a spare outfit. I squeeze it and it sounds so cute??? I’m so glad I share my obsession with Pokémon with her it makes work that much more enjoyable. The next thing I pull out is a dual sapphire and ruby pop head set and I let out a laugh at it, she knows me so well, I had mentioned I loved their characters and that they reminded me of my mom and dad once offhandedly, and yet she’s gotten me ruby and sapphire things three times now. I pull out a gift card to pizza shop I adore, and the last item in the box is a card that says read later, so I throw a glance her way as I put the card in the pile.

I thank her, and give her a hug, before turning my attention to the last present remaining, the present from Joan’s mom, who was basically my second mom growing up. I pull apart the wrapping hesitantly, and I almost let out a choked sob at what is in the package. It’s a letter from my parents. I cover my mouth as I grab the letter and read it.

“dear Patton, we hope this letter reaches you in good health, and that we are still in contact when you reach 21.” I make some odd strangled noise and my eyes start filling with tears. “no matter how our relationship is, we have a present for you. Patton cake, we know you’re only a year old now, but when you get this, we want you to know that no matter what we love you so so much and we want you to be happy no matter what. So, if you’ll forgive us if we’ve hurt you, we want you to have this glass and drink. Your mom made that glass right after you were born. She believes that the essential gift for a 21-year-old was a wine glass and a nice red wine. This wine is the same one I had on my 21st with my father and I saw it fitting to share it with you. I love you so so much son, and I hope you know that you’re in my heart wherever I am. The same goes for your mother. You know me and how paranoid I am, so this will probably be given to you by my best friend who I don’t doubt will grow close to you. In case anything happens, not that it will.” I don’t think I can breathe anymore oh my god this is from my dad- “but anyways ill stop rambling” no dad please keep talking don’t go please! “happy birthday Patton, you make me and your mom so proud. I love you so much” I wheeze and double over, I can’t breathe my dad, it was almost like he was there again, my dad was there and I-

I open the wrap on the glass, the crystal glass has an imprint that has the words “you’re capable of anything” and me and my parents’ names inscribed in it. Etched in, not just printed, its won’t fade, it will always be there. I look up at the roof to stop my tears, and to hopefully tell my mom and dad I love them if there is an afterlife. I wish I could see them one more time and be able to say goodbye. I can’t, but god it hurts so bad, I miss them so much its not fair they should have been able to come home they should be here they should have been here to see Roman and Logan and Virgil grow up it’s not FAIR GOD DAMN IT!!! I need to calm down, its in the past its over I can’t change it I can just keep going. I take a few deep breaths and wipe my eyes. I set down the glass and look at Joan.

“Joan, I need you to thank your mom for me, I-I owe her so much for this I can’t even properly explain just how much this means to me. If she ever needs anything let me know, I will do anything to help.” Joan nods and smiles at me softly.

I breathe a few more deep breaths before standing up.

“now, that’s enough of that. There’s cake and games!!!”

#tw swearing #tw cursing #tw death mention #tw murder mention #Orphan AU #my writing #my fanfiction #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #joan and talyn #others but just mentioned #my oc #elenora #lots of crying

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swans-anime-ramblings · 6 years

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In defense of SAO

I recently watched SAO for the third time? I think? and I’ve decided that I should write a blog about why I love this show, and why I don’t think it deserves all the hate it continually gets. A lot of my friends, who are lit majors, writers and other kinds of storytellers love this anime. We love talking about it, too. Contrary to many hater’s viewpoints, loving SAO doesn’t mean you have bad taste in anime. This is a great show and it’s one of my personal favorites. So, let’s talk SAO!

Let me start by staying that even though I think SAO is a great show, I don’t think it’s the best anime I’ve ever watched. If I were to rank the anime I’ve seen objectively, it wouldn’t even make my top 10. So for anyone thinking I’m going to make a case that “this is the best anime ever”, I’m not.

One of people’s biggest complaints about SAO is that Kirito’s super strong. “He’s so OP!” and he gets this way “without much effort”. Long-time anime fans expect SAO to play out like a typical battle shonen with the whole “starting at the bottom, train, beat foe, triumph, train, get stronger, beat foe, triumph” cycle. SAO is a shonen anime, but is NOT a battle shonen. Battle shonen stories are about the main character getting stronger to achieve some kind of personal goal with aforementioned cycle. For some heroes, their goal is to be the strongest. For others, it’s to be King of the Pirates or Hokage. As you can plainly see, SAO doesn’t belong in this category.

So let’s knock-out this idea that Kirito is “OP without much effort”, because that is absolutely not true. As a solo player, Kirito is constantly grinding to become strong enough to simply survive. When Kirito joins the Black Cats guild, one of the members looks around for him and doesn’t find him. The next scene shows Kirito fighting monsters alone at night before he runs into Kline. Kirito’s strength isn’t just because he’s “good”. Yeah, Kirito is obviously a very skilled gamer and is above average (as are all shonen heroes, I might add), but he’s CONSTANTLY working to level-up so he can stay alive. The anime just doesn’t show you this. Why? Because as every RPGer knows, grinding is boring AF.

Seriously, nobody wants to watch an anime of a guy grinding to level-up. As a gamer, I don’t want to see Kirito constantly grinding because hell, I don’t want to grind my own characters. Kirito talks about how he’s constantly having to “fight monsters to level-up” because he’s a solo player, and comments on his grinding throughout the anime. Kirito also talks about how leveling systems in RPG’s are unfair…aka, if he constantly grinds, he can be strong. “Strength in an MMO RPG is just an illusion,” Kirito says. So, it’s not as if the show doesn’t address how he gets his power, it’s just not in your face.

If SAO isn’t about a dude getting stronger like a typical battle shonen, what’s it’s about? There’s a couple themes. One theme is about Kirito’s journey as a selfish player to becoming someone who’d risk everything for the people around him. SAO abridged turns up Kirito’s obnoxiousness to an 11, but it isn’t baseless. Level 1 Kirito is awkward. He doesn’t want to make friends and he doesn’t want to help Kline and his friends. Instead of acknowledging that his skills could help a small group of people survive; Kirito simply leaves Kline behind. During the level 1 boss fight, Kirito reflects on his selfish choices.

It’s not that Kirito’s a bad person per-say, but he doesn’t want to be responsible for anyone else (hence the reason he’s a solo player). As SAO progresses, Kirito begins to open up by helping people, joining a guild, clamming up after everyone is killed, until his character development culminates with him falling in love with Asuna and putting his life on the line. It isn’t about Kirito winning through the power of friendship or the whole “nakama” plot point. Love is the most vulnerable relationship, so if Kirito’s character arc is about him making real connections, it makes sense that’s where his arc ends. Every encounter Kirito has in the Aincrad arc is to move him forward on this trajectory.

SAO’s larger arc which goes beyond Aincrad is about how technology affects our world. The good, the bad, and the ugly. This is why Kayaba himself is such an interesting character. He creates a death game, yet later we find out his technology was given to hospitals to be explored with patients who are suffering. There’s always this interesting balance between the positive and negative effects of advancement. In SAO’s latest arc which just concluded in the light novels, a “bottom-up AI” is developed, true artificial intelligence. There’s positives and negatives to artificial intelligence.

Asuna and Kirito’s relationship is one of the best in all of anime, and as a female character, Asuna is written very well. In SAO, she’s the second-best player in the entire game, just behind Kirito (Heathcliff doesn’t count since he’s the GM). Some of her skills are better than Kirito’s as well, which Kirito talks about fondly in a later arc. Their relationship is based on mutual confidence and trust. After they’ve gotten together, Asuna says, “don’t worry Kirito. I’ll do everything I can to protect you. Make sure you protect me too, okay?” That’s the basis of a healthy relationship, and in my opinion, a way better ship than most others.

Where SAO falls short

Earlier I talked about how as much as I love SAO, it doesn’t make my top ten best anime I’ve ever watched list. Because even though I think it’s a great anime, it has shortcomings which prevent it from ranking it among the best.

The first and biggest problem, is the way in which the story was created. Despite this information being readily available, it isn’t something many people know: SAO was written by Reki Kawahara for a contest. While writing, he went over the page limit so instead of submitting it, he published it online under a pseudo name. Later he submitted Accel World, won the contest, and his work was officially published. The publishing company then requested SAO and he took it offline. In some ways, this scenario is a writer’s dream. You write-up a story for a competition, and suddenly, a publisher comes to you and wants to publish your work. I’m salivating just thinking about it. But because of the competition, Kawahara wrote his novel in an a-typical fashion. And as much as I love SAO, it hurt the story to be written this way.

There’s this frustrating sense that SAO should be much better than it is. Kawahara knows a lot about gaming. There’s so many jokes and callbacks specific to gaming and the premise of SAO as a game is awesome. I want this game to be real (minus the whole death part). I want to play it. I wanted to watch what happens in Aincrad for much longer than I did. I think everyone is agreed; the anime moves too fast.

I think Kawahara himself understands and recognizes this, and that’s the reason he’s writing SAO Progressive. In this series, Kawahara’s re-writing the story of Aincrad floor by floor. But he’s also changed the story a bit, because Asuna and Kirito don’t end their party after level one. Instead, they continue traveling together. And he made the change because the story would be boring otherwise.

SAO also has that harem thing going on, and it’s really annoying. Kirito collects women. Some are more interesting than others, but at the end of the day, it just feels…blech. It feels cheap, and it’s a terrible trope. Can you tell I hate it? Haha.

There’s also the bit that comes after Aincrad, Alfheim Online, and that arc just…well, it’s not good. Asuna becoming the damsel in distress sucks. I don’t think I’d mind it as much if she managed to log-out the other players who were being held captive before being re-captured, but sadly that’s not the case. Asuna, the Lightning Flash and badass of SAO does so little and it was disappointing.

So yeah, SAO has some issues, but this anime is still great. It’s got a wonderful story, an awesome romance, and at the end of the day, it definitely doesn’t deserve all the hate. I think that it’s trendy to dislike popular things. There’s a reason SAO is popular, and that reason means no matter how many anime I watch, SAO will always be one of my favorites.

Hope you enjoyed 😊

#sword art online #sao #sword art online light novel #sword art online anime #kirito #asuna #kirito x asuna

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captainspite · 3 years

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Ruslan (Rus)

Ruslan was born in the heart of Kyzyl, 26 minutes before his twin sister Alexandra. Right into one of the most dangerous mafia empires in the world. His father’s empire took part in everything - drugs, weapon trade, the black market, fortune, murder, gambling. However, his family was most skilled in black-mailing and murder. Ruslan was not in the spotlight often, he was rather unrecognizable. People did not run from him in the streets. This made it especially easy for him to do several jobs. Being a stealthy killer/hitman, taking the heads off of people before they even know he’s there. Slipping into other’s beds in order to get access to top secret information (an escort, if you will). He had a taste for men, but a job is a job.

Ruslan can’t deny that he had his fun with the mafia - power, alcohol, gambling, luxury, and ending those that had wronged his loved ones.

But he had no loyalty to his cruel father, the mafia boss. His father was a horrid wretched man who only had children so that they could do his bidding and eventually take over his empire. His wife was nothing but a trophy to him, and she stayed with him because she knew he would kill her otherwise. She became emotionally dead in order to survive. Smoking, drinking, constantly disassociated. He didn’t care about the lives he had ended or the families and businesses he had ruined. People were just numbers to him.

His father believed he always got what he wanted. Which meant a constant intake of innocent hostages for black-mail. Poor poor innocent people, which Ruslan and Alexandra did not agree with. This was the start of their revolution. Stay under the radar, help as many hostages as possible to escape. They couldn’t save everyone, but they had to try. They were coined by the escapees as guardian angels, given the name when the escapees lived to tell the tales to outside sources. This frustrated their father and other members, so they tried their hardest to keep up the act. Keep up the murdering, some sacrifices had to be made or else they knew they would meet their own unfortunate fate for betrayal. If they escaped, they knew the whole mafia would be chasing after them forever, as they knew all their secrets of the family.

Then came the meeting of Aspen. Sometimes Ruslan would be tired, anxious, plagued by his own guilt. He needed an escape. He would go to his favorite coffee shop in the city. The quiet nice part of the city, but still with enough people where the mafia wouldn’t dare try to interact with him. Ruslan was scrolling through his phone as he walked away from the shop and towards the train station when he bumped roughly into Aspen. Aspen who was in a rush and was running as fast as they possibly could across the city. Ruslan spilled his coffee all over Aspen, and was about to be pissed until he realized how attracted he actually was to Aspen, lmao. They both tried to apologize profusely but to no avail since Aspen spoke German and not Russian, and Ruslan spoke Russian but not German. This resulted in them communicating in mostly broken English to each other. Ruslan took an interest in Aspen and gave them his phone number so that he could buy them another coffee the next day. Which then became almost a daily occurrence of them meeting up to chat, and Ruslan was building up the courage to ask Aspen on a date. The only thing that kept him from asking was the fear of what might happen to him if someone found out.

And someone did find out anyway. But it was a rival crime family that wanted info out of Ruslan. Aspen was kidnapped and taken hostage, tied up in a chair in the middle of an abandoned warehouse. Pictures were sent to Ruslan, as blackmail to catch Ruslan. Ruslan could have ignored it and kept going with his life and family unchanged. But the guilt would have been too much for him. He showed up obviously, and with his sister as backup because she wouldn’t let him go alone. Partners in crime. Aspen was in plain view in the seemingly empty warehouse with the giant doors open. Rus saw Aspen, Aspen saw Rus. Aspen saw the fighting and them opening fire on the rival gang. Someone had moved close to Aspen to try and stop Ruslan from shooting the gang, knowing Ruslan wouldn’t keep shooting if Aspen would get hurt. Somewhere in the middle, everything went wrong. There was smoke, and movement, and chaos. Aspen had been moved. Ruslan heard the impact of his bullets hitting in the chaos. Then, there was silence. They were successful in claiming blood from the enemies that didn’t escape… but he had also killed Aspen. He knew that stupid blue hair anywhere. He had killed Aspen and he was going to have to live with that guilt for the rest of his life. That Aspen knew they had been brutally killed by Ruslan.

Not that the rest of his life was that long anyway. Someone had discovered one day that Ruslan was one of the ones freeing people, and his life ended at the hands of his own father. Blah blah blah he ascends to the afterlife, finds out all the secrets of the afterlife. That the myths are true. That he had lived his last life but it was chosen in his destiny that he was an Angel. Once he had (barely) learned to carry himself, he felt his gut calling him. Telling him what he needed to do. He didn’t know who, he just felt that he had to protect someone. And where he was. So he took off, flying until he quite literally crashed into someone. Someone with stupid blue hair.

Aspen

Aspen was honestly just an unfortunate victim of casuality. He had been visiting Russia with his whole family for a few weeks, met a cute boy, and was… then murdered by that boy. When he had been taken hostage, he had no idea what was going on. Didn’t know it had anything to do with Ruslan. When he saw Ruslan he was filled with mixed feelings. Angry and betrayed because that meant he was here because of him, but also relieved because he knew Ruslan had showed up to try and save him. He had hope. Then there was chaos. And then Ruslan’s gun aimed dangerously close to his direction. And then nothing.

Then reincarnation.

In his next/last life he was.. Normal. Leading a normal life. Or so he thought. He had an average life, his parents were assholes and wanted him to become a doctor or something important, but he wanted to make art. So he had done everything on his own, moved into a city and got his own apartment to go to art school. He made a friend named Alex who was a manager/groomer at a pet shop in town and eventually gave him a job there. He became best friends with her!

Then one quiet day he was out walking an empty field to relax when someone literally dropped from the heavens and crashed into him out of nowhere. Freaking Aspen the fuck OUT. Once Ruslan had regained consciousness and composure from his crash, he was met with Aspen screaming profanities at him in German that he didn’t really understand. He realized how much Aspen was probably freaked out. He couldn’t really understand Aspen, but he caught a few English obscenities such as “wings”.

Anyway blah blah blah, eventually Aspen understood that Ruslan was trying to say he only spoke Russian and Aspen was able to translate himself into Russian for Ruslan but not the other way around because he didn’t know Russian characters or spelling to decipher Ruslan’s pronunciation. They played word games with English until Ruslan eventually got it across to him that he was his Guardian Angel. Of course Aspen didn’t believe him and thought that maybe he was seeing things, maybe he had finally lost it. Aspen went home with his angel trailing after him, and slammed the door in Rus’ face when he got home. Could Rus use his powers to be able to open or pass through the door? Maybe, but he was still a baby angel learning how to use his fucking wings so that’s what he did. He flew onto Aspen’s balcony. Aspen freaked out more, and decided to sleep it off, maybe it was sleep deprivation causing hallucinations. He woke and realized they were not sleep hallucinations and this was something he was going to have to deal with, starting with inviting Rus inside. Besides, if it was just his imagination, at least he wasn’t hurting anything - and if it was a creep pretending to be an angel, they DEFINITELY wouldn’t be able to fly.

Aspen was so distressed that he took a week off from classes to try and cope. He couldn’t deal with the situation very well anyway, considering him and Rus couldn’t really understand each other.

Rus was one of the most intimidating and rude people he had ever seen, it was so hard for him to understand how such a dick became a Guardian Angel. Rus had seemed scared and startled when he crashed, but now Rus was just cold. It was clear he didn’t want to be there any more than Aspen did. Purposefully pretending not to be able to hear Aspen. Making snide comments about how they should stay out if each other’s way since he knew Aspen didn’t want this either. Rus made it seem like he was only there because he had to be. Half of it was because Rus was struggling to deal with his guilt, and the other half was because that was all he knew. Growing up in the mafia in a traumatic household where he had no option but to be ruthless.

Eventually he understood Rus was a permanent part of his daily life. Everywhere he went, Rus followed like a puppy. To class, to grocery stores, on walks. Surely he could handle a walk on his own? But he just couldn’t shake Rus, with him insisting literally anything could happen. Rus freaked out and got mad at Aspen when Aspen burned himself on the stove!! Forcing Aspen to sit as Rus tended to his almost non-existent wound as if he had been stabbed.

Rus and Aspen

Back to Rus. Rus realized how fucked he was when he realized who Aspen was. And that his sole purpose was to protect him. Even though he literally fucking killed him in his past life, and he was reminded of this every single day when he saw Aspen. What he had done. How he was a murderer and surely the heavenly gods made a mistake. And soon all of his thoughts were just filled with Aspen. The way he carried himself. The way his hair fell into his eyes. How gracefully his hands moved when he created art. His stubbornness. His baby snores. The way his laugh sounded exactly like it did in his past life, and his dimple that was now on the opposite side. God, Rus was gay. He knew he needed to knock it off, he was there to protect him without distractions. Besides, Aspen deserved a human, mortal partner and he was going to steal him from that. He needed to disconnect. Aspen resumed his classes, even picking up English classes since he knew Rus would follow him and they could learn how to communicate better, in English.

And then, he finally decided to try and return after a month. After ghosting his only friends for a month. Inviting Alex out for a walk to hang out, since he desperately needed to talk about this crazy situation, or just to be distracted since he probably didn’t want to sound crazy to Alex. You would not BELIEVE the earful he got when Alex spotted him across the field. Yelling and waving her arms as she marched across to Aspen. But she got startled and asked Aspen why there was a tall scary dude behind him who had WINGS.

Rus stopped dead in his tracks. And choked when he recognized her. Alexandra. But she clearly did not remember him. Aspen was so relieved that he could talk about what was going on. So they all talked. Alex was way more willing to believe and understand the situation than Aspen was after days. Rus had explained that only people he had been in contact with in their past lives were able to see him, but wouldn’t elaborate on what their relationship was. Until they got home and Aspen wouldn’t stop asking, so he told Aspen that Alex was his sister and nothing more. No matter how much he begged. Aspen then also began asking what his relationship was with Rus in the past. Rus just seemed uncomfortable. The dude seemed like he could barely stand him now, there was no way they were anything more than acquaintances. Surely.

Slowly, through the following months, Rus started dropping his guard. Becoming more comfortable. Speaking more, asking questions more about the modern world. Sharing small stories from his past. Aspen even got a few small laughs out of Rus because of stupid jokes, which he considered a victory. Then eventually, Rus caved. He explained to Aspen that he didn’t want to tell him because he didn’t want Aspen to know what a monster he really was. Rus told him all about his past life - his family, the mafia, the hits he had carried out. But he still refused to tell Aspen about how he knew him, and insisted he didn’t know how Aspen died.

Aspen didn’t even seem that worried about having a literal murderer in his apartment, but Rus couldn’t make eye contact with him out of shame. Aspen listened patiently, and was silent for a while afterwards as he collected his thoughts. He thanked Rus for telling him. Then eventually told him that he wasn’t scared or upset. That he still.. Trusted Rus? He felt there was a reason Rus was assigned to be a literal Guardian Angel, so he couldn’t have been all that bad. Maybe he was just doing what he would to survive.

Aspen wasn’t the happiest person in the world, either. He struggled with bouts of depression and minor self-harm. He had family trauma. He struggled keeping friendships. He wasn’t too thrilled when Rus came along either, and it took him a long time to come around to being okay with the way things were. A long time to realize he was stuck with Rus for now and he had no option other than trust him. And he didn’t like that. He didn’t want a friendship. Until all that time passed.. They got more used to each other. Then Rus told him about his mafia past.

Their bond only grew stronger after that. Rus still taking a little longer to come around because of the guilt he carried, but they got comfortable with each other nonetheless. He even found himself enjoying hanging out with Aspen more and more. Aspen would openly come to Rus for reassurance when he felt scared and like he wanted protection. Protection physically at night, in creepy situations, when he visited his terrible parents, or even just… bad mentally. Rus of course always vowed to protect him and offer any words he could, keeping an eye out for people following him, where to go or what to do if something were to happen. It was nice.

Until Aspen started having nightmares at least once a week. Rus caught them before Aspen did. At first neither of them thought anything of it, Aspen not even mentioning it because he thought they were just nightmares. But Rus started listening to Aspen when Aspen started talking and yelling in his sleep. Yelling about… him? Something about guns or people capturing him? Oh no. He realized. These weren’t just nightmares, they were memories. Aspen was reliving memories. Memories about the life that Rus ended. Aspen kept getting them, and then realizing they were recurring. And how on edge Rus seemed when Aspen brought them up. They didn’t feel like normal nightmares… they felt real. He got a sudden distaste for coffee.

#TSFRusAspen

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