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elysianholly · 2 days

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Why Spuffy

Decided to put this here so I can find it more easily. Originally answered on r/Fanfic: What is your OTP?

Why? There are a lot of assumptions made about Spike/Spuffy fans. Like, we're just whores for good cheekbones. We're blinded by Spike's abs. We're all just abuse victims waiting to fall in love with the wrong person. And honestly, after 2+ decades of this nonsense, it'd be nice to just say: "read this then get back to me."

So. What is your OTP?

Buffy/Spike from BtVS. They've owned my heart for more than 20 years and show no signs of slowing down.

At first, it was the enemies-to-lovers thing. I've always been a sucker for that. Especially for a villain who turns to mush for a hero in the falling process. That is still true, but my love for them has become more nuanced the older I've gotten. I just turned 39; I fell in love with Spuffy when I was 17. What I love most about them today is that their history as enemies means they know each other better than anyone, have seen each other's faults, have done the worst things they could do to each other, and have a very honest, non-rosy view of their relationship. Spike is also the only man in Buffy's life (on the show; I'm not counting comics) who owns the hurt he's caused without making it her fault or imposing his view of things and convincing her he's right. He shows her that loving her doesn't always mean sacrifice or suffering, the way it was with Angel or Riley, but that she can make someone want to be better. And he also knows her well enough to know she will assume the responsibility of the soul he sought for himself (the most effective and tortuous sentence for the demon who hurt her), so he first tries to hide it from her, then encourages her when she starts dating Robin Wood that she owes him nothing, that she doesn't need to consider his feelings. It's the first time someone she's been intimate with has not been petty or jealous at the thought of her moving on. And because he has seen the best and worst in her, when he says he loves her, it's with a view of the whole person Buffy is.

And for Buffy, loving Spike is about loving herself. He was her outlet for her depression, a representation of all the bad things she thought about herself when she was at her lowest, and she punished him for that. She was conditioned to believe her friends' acceptance of her had strings attached. By Season 7, after she has come to peace with the worst thing she went through, she is no longer apologizing for herself or making excuses. She is unapologetically in charge. Loving Spike means loving the parts of her she always thought were ugly or twisted or irredeemable, going all the way back to how she carried the burden of Angel having lost his soul when she was a 17-year-old girl in love and had no idea what was going to happen. Furthermore, how she was made to feel responsible (side-eyeing Xander here; Giles and Willow get a pass but Xander was the most egregious offender). She also assumed the responsibility for her relationship with Riley falling apart even after he negged, gaslit, and cheated on her. Spike showed Buffy that she is not the problem in relationships, and allowing herself to love him meant an acceptance of self she struggled to find throughout the course of the show. In the end, after bringing out the worst in each other when they were at their worst, they learned to bring out the best in each other. It's just beautiful.

And that's why Spuffy, friends.

#spuffy #spuffy is endgame #spuffy fanfic #spuffy prevails because we're better #buffy the vampire slayer #buffy #spike x buffy #spike and buffy #spuffy meta

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thevilqueen · 11 hours

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A misconception I see a lot about Vil is that his overblot was triggered by jealousy towards Neige but that is extremely reductive of his character as well as his hardships on top of being untrue. So I am going to dissect his overblot and what truly led to it.

1- Vil was never jealous of Neige’s beauty or individuality.

A lot of people believe that Vil is envious of the notion of beauty that Neige embodies but that is canonically untrue. Vil has always pursued a notion of beauty that spoke to him and was true to him. Vil and Neige have always been opposites and Vil has absolutely no interest in ever mimicking Neige. Vil is extremely confident in his skills and appearance. Vil doesn’t wish to be like Neige. He wishes to reach the heights that Neige has. Vil wants to be acknowledged as the fairest one of all as himself, as Vil Schoenheit. Vil is always true to himself and he makes a point of being authentic.

2- Vil’s true goal is to stay on stage until the end of the show not just being the fairest one of all.

Vil’s obsession with beauty is only a means to an end when it comes to his true goal.

Vil believes that if he becomes the fairest one of all it will grant him the opportunity to stay the longest on stage, allowing him to finally play the hero. Vil has been convinced that he lacks something and that is why he can’t be the hero.

So he spent his life trying to make up for it until he reached his breaking point at the VDC and it finally struck him then that no matter how hard he tried he still couldn’t seem to reach his goal.

Furthermore, it has been made clear on multiple occasions throughout the game that Vil’s notion of beauty goes way beyond looks. Beauty is a lifestyle to Vil. Beauty embodies his body, his mind and even his soul which is specifically why he overblots. Vil cares about self-growth in every possible aspect of his life even if it seems to be driven by his looks. This also makes perfect sense when you think about these extracts:

Vil was conditioned since he was young to believe that something about his appearance gave off a villainous vibe. It is therefore very unsurprising that he would fixate on becoming the most beautiful. If villains are associated with ugliness/badness and heroes are associated with beauty/goodness then logically if he aims to become the most beautiful in every way he should be able to earn the hero role.

3- Vil didn’t overblot because of envy, Vil overblot because he couldn’t forgive himself for being ugly.

Vil’s overblot has never been about envy only. In fact, he only overblots after he realises how ugly what he is about to do is.

Vil has a strong moral compass and he hates cutting corners, it’s his pet peeve. Someone who would stoop as low as he did isn’t worthy of the fairest one of all title by his standards. Vil’s overblot is about him crumbling under the weight of his expectations and his downfall being witnessed by those around him. That is why at his lowest he believes that eradicating all competition will make him the most beautiful along with making sure that those who saw his ugliness can never tell the tale.

Vil is tired of having spent a life trying his best to still not achieve his dream so he took drastic measures in his desperation.

#vil schoenheit twst #vil schoenheit #twst #twisted wonderland #vil twst #vil analysis #vil schoenheit meta #vil meta #vil schoenheit analysis

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sweetsoona · 3 days

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Firestorm & Humanity

I have to say going into Firestorm I didn’t know what to expect from the new human characters. I initially just wanted more content about the apes, about Caesar, Koba, Cornelia, etc.

And don’t get me wrong, Firestorm definitely delivers on the apes. It was REALLY interesting seeing Caesar early into his leadership. He always feels so confident and self assured in the movies, so watching him not only stumble, but get scared or frustrated and handle some things “not so well” was fascinating. Not to mention the deep dive into Koba and his backstory, which I could write an entire essay on alone. And Cornelia has a lot of moments which was really nice!!! #JusticeForCornelia

But I didn’t expect to enjoy the human stories as much as I did. I was content with the “Okay the world is gone and is mostly apes now. The end!” transition from Rise to Dawn, but it was actually interesting seeing how it played out. The politics, the riots, the cults, the confusion and desperation of every human as they realize the fall of civilization is upon them. Everyone reacts differently. Every faction moves and believes different things. Some live, some die, some fear the virus, some worship it. Some hate the apes, some are willing to kill for them. It was a wild ride the whole way through.

Honestly it reminded me that the point of POTA as a franchise, is not actually to play around and see the apes as just a fun, fantasy race (although there is no harm in doing so!) The main point of the franchise is the apes are a mirror of humanity. They’re supposed to reflect who we are, who we used to be, and who we’ve become. The apes are written as so complex and multifaceted because they are us. As the apes grow, make mistakes, and learn from them, the audience is supposed to be doing the same. Learning from their mistakes as they learn from ours.

I think of the fans that are 100% pro ape.

That hate or have zero sympathy for the human characters, and think the apes “deserve” to become dominant and humans “deserve” to be wiped to near extinction.

The fans that wished Kingdom and for the rest of Noa’s trilogy to focus solely on apes with little to no human intervention.

The fans that were upset at “how little” the apes have progressed in 300 years. That want the apes to delve into sciences, mathematics, that dislike how some of the apes still talk with a bit of a struggle because they want them to talk fluidly. Familiarly.

I think of these groups, and now I think of this:

Why did they do this? Koba wondered. Make us do tricks for them, wear clothes?

Humans think apes funny when they act like stupid humans, Maurice explained.

Why? Koba asked.

It took so long for Maurice to answer that Koba thought that he had refused to do so, or had forgotten the question, perhaps lost in a reverie of his own. But finally the orangutan lifted his hands.

I think maybe they hate themselves, he said.

— Firestorm, Chapter 11

And this quote too:

“The thing is, whatever we do with apes—experiment on them, train them to perform, even teach them language—everything we do just keeps them from being what they are. What they’re supposed to be. We got kicked out of a paradise, not them. Yet we feel like we have to drag them out with us. I guess misery loves company.”

— Chapter 21

And finally this:

Beyond the burning woods, Caesar could see the city, the place that had once been his home. There were fewer steady lights than ever, but there was a new light—an orange, flickering glow, cousin to the flames that had nearly killed him.

Like the woods, the city was on fire.

He wondered what that could mean.

— Chapter 26

The apes in POTA are a reflection of humanity. Of the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly. They are written the way they are, whether it be in the original movies or the modern ones, with the intention that the very human audience see themselves in both the ape and human characters, and learn from the experiences of both sides. Because both sides are the same.

It’s very easy to get lost in the apes. They are written amazingly well and are so easy to sympathize with! That’s the point. They are YOU, me, us as people. Our humanity reflected back at us in a different shape.

And so when people go on about how they hate all the humans in POTA, and only want the apes to rule and prosper, or so on and so forth, I have to agree with Maurice.

Yes, humans do hate our own species. Historically, passionately, and excessively. But the way we all love and admire the humanity that’s intentionally written in the apes, makes me think that despite the loathing… we love humanity too.

And no matter how much people might whine or moan about how awful humans are, how much they wish they’d just go away, become simple-minded animals, die out, get nuked, etc., there is a love for humanity underneath all of that.

You look at the human characters and only see the bad. You look at the apes and only see the good. Whether you want one side to die out and for the other to rise or vice versa, it is all about humanity. Hate and love mixed into one.

#firestorm got my brain cooking like a lobster #there’s no firestorm spoilers in this btw. some quotes but not very spoilery #had ZERO intention of writing this essay when I first started lmaooooo where’d this come from #anywhoo yeah #the duality of man and all that #‘the apes are better than humans’ no they’re not #‘humans deserve to be wiped from extinction’ no you don’t #‘humanity sucks’ ‘I don’t want the next movies to focus on humans and apes. only apes.’ ‘the humans–‘#*grabs the sides of your face to make you look at me* the apes and humans are one in the same bestie #your hate & love for either side is the hate & love you have for yourself #planet of the apes #dawn of the planet of the apes #kingdom of the planet of the apes #pota #pota firestorm #thoughts #analysis

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thrailkxll · 5 months

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//Done this while I was painting this picture, lazy mans way of showing how he looks without a visor- painting him without it first then covering it XD

#significantly more spooky XD #Red's Rembrandt ☆》 Mun's Art #The Good The Bad and The Ugly ☆》 Self #Thrailkill #tf oc

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kinos-fortress-2 · 6 months

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i am aware that this looks nothing like them and i made them ugly af i just dont care anymore. and yes this is still tf2

#i think i should rest and take the artblock... this looks so bad bc i forced myself in this #i draw them so ugly thats why im still posting this but apologies for drawing them so... different at least im aware this is not good #tf2 #sniper #scout #pyro #team fortress 2 #kino art #YES THATS SNIPER IDC I WILL DRAW HIM LIKE HE IS MY OC FUCK IT #self indulgent sketch who cares all i do is sketch and never finish the others i have #i think i will delete this later to see if i can make some changes if i can

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anxiouscowboy · 7 months

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If seasonal depression is kicking your ass, just remember that your blorbo also suffered from extreme mental and physical unwellness for like the entirety of their story and came out of it ten times hotter.

#Yes #this is a self callout #the dollars trilogy #the good the bad and the ugly #clint eastwood #angel eyes #lee van cleef #tuco ramirez #eli wallach #blondie #cowboyblogging

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dceasesd · 7 days

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stupid military ass haircut ugly outfit disturbing aura unsettling presence

#the outfit is SO bad #like so so bad #i miss leather jacket jason he was great #why do these people keep giving him ugly hair cuts #best recent jason hair imo was from the joker who stopped laughing run #actually that run was just pretty good in general because jason was his authentic loser self #no bitches no money just spite #how he should be #dc comics #jason todd #batman #dc #red hood #tuesday spoilers #batman 148

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beemintty · 8 months

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"I fear I will be ripped open and found unsightly."

- Anne Sexton, A Self-Portrait in Letters

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cigarette-room · 8 days

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[wip] comfort character :>

#i love blondie sm #the good the bad and the ugly #dollars trilogy #the man with no name #art tag #baby steps to drawing again #and for my own self :')

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whumpacabra · 2 months

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Session #7

Therapy, crying, speech loss, angst, referenced past character deaths, referenced nightmares, referenced self loathing, referenced derealization, implied past torture and captivity, implied violent intrusive thoughts, implied suicidal ideation, dubious psychology by fault of the author

[Follows Vigil]

“So, how has your day been?”

“Good so far. Went for a run this morning.”

“That’s new for you; did you enjoy it?”

“Yes - and the coffee we got on our way back.”

“‘We’ being…?”

“My housemate, Alister. He invited me along.” East was already craving another cup of coffee, the late afternoon exhausting in its cozy warmth. He had gotten better at keeping his voice in sessions with Judy, but she still kept a spare clipboard and pen for him. He wasn’t sure if he would need it today.

“Right, Alister - he’s in the room next to your’s, right?” East nodded, fighting to keep the soft smile on his face relaxed. He knew where she was going with this. “Have you considered what we talked about before, for the nightmares?”

“Yeah, actually.” East swallowed, focusing on his breathing. “Asked Nathan to get me up - I - Alister doesn’t know…Jackson trusts Nathan. I trust Nathan.”

“I’m proud of you for reaching out to him.” East could feel his ears flush with embarrassment; Nathan had said the same. “How has sleeping been?” Embarrassment was replaced with misplaced shame, another hard swallow to keep his voice from silencing itself.

“Bad - not worse, I guess.” East forced a deep inhale, breathing through an open mouth. “Nathan woke me up this morning. From a flashback.”

“Was it better than trying to sleep through it?” Judy’s eyes were gentle, note quietly scribbled on her clipboard. East shrugged, honestly unsure.

“I don’t know. Didn’t go back to sleep so it’s not like it helped me get more rest.” He knew the dark bags under his eyes weren’t going away anytime soon. He had made peace with what few hours of rest he could find in afternoon naps.

“And how did you feel, after waking up and realizing where you were?”

“Honestly worse.” The words tumbled past his lips, followed by a shaky breath to steady himself. “I - I can take the memories you know. I know I survived them. But waking up and - and not being there, but having just been there…” Judy nodded, encouragingly. “I’m scared it’s a dream. The waking part - like if I fall back asleep I’ll be there and it’ll be real.”

“That does sound worse. Do you regret asking Nathan to wake you?”

East considered her question for a moment. If he hadn’t gotten up so early, he wouldn’t have had a cup of hot cocoa. (He didn’t realize how much he missed it until tasting it again for the first time in…years, probably.) He wouldn’t have gone with Alister on that run, and seen the sunrise or heard the sheep and birds.

“No. I think the run helped. It felt…real.”

“That feeling you had, when waking up and not knowing what’s real, there are some grounding exercises you can use to help.” She wrote for a moment longer before looking up at him. “Try to focus on your senses - it may sound and feel a little silly, but try counting five things you see, hear, feel, smell, and taste. The counting forces your brain to slow down, and the purposeful recognition of the physical reality around you through your senses reminds you that you aren’t there.”

“I did feel better after Nathan made me drink some cocoa, warm and sweet.” The warm mug between his hands, the cold air against his face, the smell of manure and the glint of sunshine…East could remember the sensory details from that morning, alive and awake and real.

“See? It’ll start to come naturally.” Judy’s soft laugh wasn’t mocking or cruel, but the smile in her eyes dimmed as she continued. “How are the other dreams? The ones that wake you up?”

“Still happening. Tried thinking - the way you suggested - last time it happened.” East tried not to think about that nightmare, the blood between his fingers, Tierney’s green eyes glass with death, his handler’s voice whispering saccharine praises -

(“Good boy. You’ll do better next time.”)

He inhaled slowly, trying to practice the breathing exercises Judy introduced a few sessions ago. She held out the tissues to him, and he released a shaky exhale as hot tears slipped from his eyes.

“It’s - you - you don’t know - I’m not a good person. I - I - I should be, I shouldn’t be - ”

“I don’t know you, East. Not the way you know yourself. And maybe you weren’t a saint when you were back there, but you were doing what you needed to do to survive.”

East scoffed, breathing watery and voice dying in his throat. He took the clipboard and pen set aside for him.

“Why should I have? Survived? If I let him,” he scratched out ‘fuck me to death,’ “kill me I wouldn’t have killed those people for him. They’d still be alive. But I didn’t. I killed them because I wanted to live more than I wanted to let them live.”

“Or he would have found someone else to torture. To kill for him. East…” Judy sighed, eyes brimming with compassion that he still flinched from. “You are not a uniquely evil person. You are not selfish for listening to self preservation instincts in a horrible situation. He wanted to see someone die, someone suffer for him. And if that someone wasn’t you, a man like him would have made it someone else.”

East shook his head, frustrated and drowning in the oily well of self loathing that had opened in his heart. Judy didn’t understand. The Wolf was a project - he was unique, special - they would have killed him otherwise. He could have leveraged that. Refused to kill because they needed him alive for…whatever it was they recorded and reported to their superiors.

But he didn’t - he killed for his handler. He followed rule number one without hesitation because he was a selfish bastard scared of pain. He was an idiot who should have kept pushing back until he was more trouble than he was worth. Maybe he would have gotten out of that hell quicker, executed and shoved in the incinerator with the other failed projects.

“Even if you were uniquely awful, you didn’t deserve what he did to you.” His frustration choked in his throat with a sob. He just couldn’t fathom that notion - of course he deserved it, if not for what he did for Smith than for…whatever he was Before. “Right now, you are not hurting people. You don’t have to and you don’t want to.”

East almost picked up his pen again, the impulse to refute his innocence so ingrained. What if he did want to hurt people? What if he was too used to it? What if these dreams were proof of that - he was a time bomb, a threat to everyone around him?

“You told me once that you think you’re a good actor, remember?” He had, when she asked him to try and reflect on his positive skills. (Outside of fighting and fucking.) “So act.”

He looked up from his tissues and shaking hands, eyes tired and bloodshot and confused. Act? He was always acting. Always pretending to be someone he wasn’t; it was exhausting and terrifying. The Wolf was starting to blur with East - had been for a while, bleeding into how he watched people enter a room and the way he shrank from touch. How he laughed when Tierney lost at cards and how he relaxed on the couch while the others played pool.

“You need to fake it ‘til you make it.” Judy was looking down at her notes, brow furrowed and lips pursed, but she looked up at him, sheepish but eyes warm. “Trust me, it’s something everyone does. Humans are social - we all want to fit in, to seem intelligent and likeable and many things we don’t actually believe we are. Pretending to be a good person doesn’t make a difference to anyone but you. No one knows you but you.”

“So I lie? To everyone?” (What was one more dirty secret? One more straw on the camel’s back?)

“Everyone. Including yourself. Is it a lie if even you believe it?”

(Yes.)

(…)

(Right?)

[Concurrent to The Agent]

(Part of my Freelancers: Changing Tides series)

Taglist: @stargeode @sacredwrath @genuineformality

#whump #angst #recovery #therapy #past character death #nightmares #self loathing #suicidal ideation #intrusive thoughts #derealization #freelancers #not dead just. prepping a multivariate statistics presentation that is SO mediocre. ough. my nmds….so ugly....#this chapter felt very good - I’ve got the next few lined up and we’ll be done with the changing tides arc before you know it!#(Then things get Bad again. but better in some way. well. for some people.)#as always just ask to be added/removed from the taglist!

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omarfor-orchestra · 9 months

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FUCK

#i wanna scream in a forest #this is gonna be a rant post. just so you know.#last month i went out with a girl i met in the summer theatre course #we stayed outside wandering the city for hours #we talked about our lifes (jesus Christ we were getting to know each other? what else should we have talked about?)#she stopped texting me after that #(she had told me she had a great time. she thanked me for sharing my story)#i texted her today and told me how bad she actually felt after our meeting and that i am too negative for her #because we didn't joke or laugh #i do remember joking and laughing btw #and i get that we can't be liked by everyone but it was the first time in YEARS that i actually opened up to someone #and boy I'm so not taking this well #i was finally feeling good enough but now? now???#I'm trying not to take this too personal because she said 'i'm too sensitive for you' so this might be a problem of hers #even because. you know. it's not like my story is that bad. i just told her about m #my father and what's going on in my family right now which is just annoying yk? not traumatizing #but also. how is it that when i show my true self to someone no one seems to really like it?#do i have to keep pretending I'm someone else? now that i finally know who i am?#i did say I'm an ugly person didn't I #i was already stressed out about uni starting tomorrow #and now this #it will never get better will it #i will always be this messed up thing no one wants to deal with right?#fuck #i was trying to go to therapy less frequently but I definitely need it this week

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thrailkxll · 1 year

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ScrunglycowboyWIP.PNG

#Red's Rembrandt ☆》 Mun's Art #a work in progress ive been dragging along for weeks #months maybe #Im just so llaaazzyyy #anywho #The Good The Bad and The Ugly ☆》 Self #I'm gonna take out alot of the red glow itll all be blac #but I just use like oil paint textured brush #and it'll mix in #LISTEN ITS A PROCESS I PROMISE I CANT EXPLAIN #I gotta add black back around his visor too #tf oc

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the-acid-pear · 2 months

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Something that always pissed me off about DSaF is how it acts like your physical exterior is a moral failing, which is echoed by the characters but only ever reinforced instead of subverted. Biggest L from the writing imo.

#luly talks #started thinking of this again bc someone pointed out word of god said henry looks like that in the game's style (despite being a Normal #White Man) as a representation of how evil and non human he is which is like WHAT THE HELL MAN!!! THAT'S MEAAAN #like changes in looks to represent someone is evil isnt an issue when its 1) A WILLING CHANGE 2) ACTUALLY TIED TO THEM BEING EVIL #see: jack in pure evil doing his jack o lantern shit #like how are Jack or Dave Bad People™ for just DYING.#''the outside always ends up matching the inside'' BABYGIRL I LOVE YOU BUT STOP TALKING BULLSHIT!!!!#like tje only case where i dont mind this is w Davetrap bc the bnnuy shit is a direct consequence of his actions #like a mark of shame if you squint you'll see me wag my tail because im remembering one of my favorite blonde men #im not gonna specify bc its a tasteless comparison if you think of it too long but its basically the same #he was only put there bc of what he did and bc he wouldn't stop it was not an accident or a tragedy #but hell this shit of hating ppl based on their looks extends to ANYONE like Dee is straight up A Good Woman and is hated cuz she. weird #MATT TOO like okay. matt isnt a good person. he has some shady shit going on. BUT IT DOES NOT WARRANT HOW HATED HE IS BC HE'S ''CREEPY''#and pf course the phoneys esp Jake w ''i was a monster'' though that's the only case i can think of where its like #self perception and not some bloke going holy shit you're so ugly i dont trust you #prob more examples but i havent played the game in too long so Y'know.#dsaf

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daz4i · 9 months

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i know aging isn't the end of the world and 24 isn't that old and life isn't a race etc etc etc. however,

#i think a big reason i feel so bad abt being this age is ppl told me this is when things start to get better #and i still feel the same way i did as a teenager so. well. is it really 😐#(being on t probably isn't helping but it's been over 3 years already so... not an excuse i think)#but I'm also physically aging like the reason i barely upload selfies anymore is i see myself getting uglier every day #despite fighting for my life to at least take care of my face and hair...... can't fight the passage of time 😔#+ ofc. my (younger) friends being way more sorted out than i am on every level #again ik life isn't a race but. it can't help but hurt to know I'm still behind literally everyone i know #and my excuses for that aren't even good. bc other disabled ppl my age are also more sorted out than i am #other depressed ppl other borderlines other autistics etc etc. hell these are also my irl friends 😭#and it's dumb. bc feeling like i wasted my life isn't really pushing me to change that now. just makes me want to die even more #(bc i mean what's the point. i will never catch up. I'm still at the starting line AND i move so slow it doesn't even count)#(i don't have a single milestone ppl my age have not even finishing high school which is like. the bare minimum)#(and it sucks bc i also know i have potential i KNOW i can do shit in theory i know I'm smart and got skills. but i can't put it to use)#(and now this is turning into less of a thing abt age and just generally me talking abt how i wasted the last 24 years)#this was more of a stressed rant abt how I'm turning ugly and feeling super old but well. it all boils down to self loathing at the end 👍#vent #negative //#ask to tag #sorry for being so depressing all day oof ik i already said it before but it's been a rough couple of months #(nothing happened my brain just needs to get flushed down the toilet ^_^)#edit: i think. part of my panic about aging. is bc as a kid i was used to being the youngest everywhere #i was the youngest in my class bc i started school a year early. i was the youngest in acting school bc they don't normally accept teenagers #and in addition to that as an adult but before starting t i was always told that i LOOK young too #but now ik i look like I'm in my 20s. and it's killing me that i aged this much in so little #i wonder if shaving my beard will help but i don't wanna get misgendered 😐😐😐 and rn it's the only thing guarding me from that

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bylertruther · 2 years

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the day that fandom realizes that pointing out writing choices, the negative effects those choices have on other characters, and the less-than-kind actions of a character, aren't a personal attack on you, a call to arms for everyone to hate this character, or even a hate post in and of itself is the day that we will finally know at least a crumb of Peace in these e-streets 🤦‍♂️

#we can point out tht the narrative has made it so tht a) will brought forth his self-fulfilling prophecy b) mike comes off like an ass even #when he's right and c) that el has been powerless for some actions in the story and an active participant for others #you won't explode and die from acknowledging every part of the story presented to you not just the ones that paint your fave in a kind #light lol. and acknowledging ur fave's wrongs or actions doesn't make u a hater #nor does it make this character bad evil mean or irredeemable #good characters (in my opinion) are nuanced and capable of good and bad and the in-between #the byIer fandom is such a culture shock for me the way tht it can be so like . rigid n sanitized n set in its own way sometimes abt #certain things. n tht isnt unique to us obviously but im used to being in fandoms where the 'ugly' is embraced #and here it's like NOPE 🙅‍♂️ NO NUANCE NO GRAY AREA EVERYONE IS PERFECT KIND GOOD N FAULTLESS 100% OF THE TIME N EVERYTHING #IN THE STORY IS EQUAL AND THE SAME AND THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE IN ANYTHING EVER N UR A SCUMBAG IF U POINT TO THE CANON SCENES #THAT SAY OTHERWISE 🔨🔫⛔️🚫👎🔇🚮🗑#like ..... ok then. ... i gues. .s...#makes me wonder how u can appreciate the show in earnest if ur not acknowledging wht it shows u but ok . .. .

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haemosexuality · 3 months

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i got catcalled td

#this only happened to me like one other time when i was 14 #not usual #i didnt realize it at first cuz he walked past me and my cousin like ''hi good afternoon''#so we went ''hi good afternoon :D!!'' and then realized he was very pointedly looking down at my body #and then i just kinda froze until he went away and my cousin looked at me like “what the fuck???''#wasnt so bad considering. note to self being fat and ugly is apparently canceled out if you wear smth that shows ur mid drift a bit

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