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makeste · 3 years

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BnHA Chapter 295: So How Are You Holding Up (Because I’m a Potato)

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi randomly and graciously decided to answer all of our long-standing questions about Mr. Compress, including “is he secretly hot,” “is he secretly related to that Robin Hood thief guy,” and “is he ever going to use his quirk to chain chomp a hole right through his ass??” with the answer to all three being “yes, of course.” As for our follow-up questions, “sir, is Mr. Compress going to die,” and “holy shit,” his answers were, respectively, “wait and see,” and, “I understand, really I do, but that isn’t actually a question.” Well, he’s got us there.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi finally ends the War arc with the speed and grace of an overworked college student scrambling to BS their entire midterm essay with five minutes left before the deadline. Deku’s Spidey Sense is all “what up, I exist, p.s. you’re in danger kid” like oh shit, no, you think?? Compress is all “I’m not gonna die but I am going to pass out and be captured” and honestly, at this point I’ll take it. Spinner is all “Tomura you can have this one last Souvenir Hand I found that was in the oven for too long” and slaps it on his face because HE’S JUST TRYING TO BE HELPFUL, SHUT UP. Dabi is all, “[currently in a marble].”Tomura is all “actually, I’m AFO.” AFO is all “hahahahaha” and summons all of the remaining Noumus to cart him and Spinner and Dabi off to safety. Deku is all “DAMMIT TOMURA I’M REALLY MAD AT YOU FOR KILLING, AND I QUOTE, ‘AN UNBELIEVABLE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE’, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, GET THIS, I TOTALLY WANT TO SAVE YOU TOO! LMAO ISN’T THAT WILD.” Fandom is all “OH MY GOD, NO WAY, is what we would say if we had literally never met Deku before, I guess.” And then the arc just ends, lol. See you in the new year, kids.

WAKE UP, LINK... I MEAN, DEKU

jesus christ Vestiges, not a one of you guys has got any chill at ALL. LISTEN TO ME. THIS CHILD IS DEAD. HE IS DECEASED. LOOK AT HIM. HE’S LYING THERE ALL DAZED WITH HIS ARMS AND LEGS TURNED INTO GREEN PUDDING AND YOU’RE ALL “GET UP LAZYBONES” LIKE I SWEAR TO GOD. CAN HE JUST REST?? CAN YOU ALL JUST CALL IT A DRAW WITH THE VILLAINS ALREADY SO WE CAN FINALLY END THIS TRAUMATIC ARC AND MOVE ON TO THE NEW “TRIAGE AND ROBOT LIMBS FOR EVERYBODY” ARC INSTEAD

LIE BACK DOWN YOU IDIOT!!

no you didn’t pass out because of a ~heatwave~, you passed out because he set you on fire while you were out here shooting Blackwhip out of your mouth with your SPINDLY ACCORDION LIMBS dangling uselessly from you like WINDCHIMES you RIDICULOUS BOY

“where’s Todoroki-kun” oh shiiiiiiit. right. god I hope someone caught him. BAKUGOU OWES HIM A FAVOR, HOW ‘BOUT IT

OH NEVER MIND HE APPARENTLY CAUGHT HIMSELF??

Todoroki Shouto has really highkey been the MVP of the entire fourth quarter of this arc. he deserves the world, and odds are all Horikoshi’s going to give him are lasting trauma, and a souvenir shirt that says “I survived this stupid arc and all I got was this t-shirt”

anyway now Deku’s being hit by a Lightning Bolt of Realization or some such? idk what’s going on, but I bet you it’s related to Tomura waking up again

OH SHIT??

LOL WHAT. THAT’S IT?? SPIDEY-SENSE?? I mean we all predicted Spidey-Sense being one of his quirks like ages ago, so Well Done, Us, I guess

but also, seriously?? all of that drama and intrigue about the fourth user’s quirk and this is what we end up with? what was All Might being so cagey about then? how did this dude die? I need answers goddammit. new, better answers lol

maybe it’s something to do with the fact that Deku keeps talking about how his head hurts?

I mean, for Deku of all people to be all “ouch that hurts”, it must really fucking hurt, you know? like oh my god Deku are you dying

lmao and SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO APPARENTLY DON’T FEEL PAIN

this man is out here FROLICKING, half-naked and half-torsoed, AND STILL FEVERISHLY RATTLING OFF HIS MONOLGOUE. YOU HAVEN’T EVEN ESCAPED YET YOU DINGUS. did watching Dabi pour bleach over his head inspire you to think of interesting new ways you could abuse your own body for the sake of Theatrics?? why are villains Like This

anyway so now Mirio’s punching him, because what else are you even supposed to do in this situation

I read this speech bubble three times in a row very carefully this time around just to make sure I was reading the words right. and then looked for a T/L note below. and there was none. whatever RHA, at least you all are out here enjoying yourselves

wait what?

I guess he hasn’t woken up yet after all?? so then wtf is Deku’s Spidey Sense getting all worked up about. I mean to be fair there’s danger all around them still so having a Spidey Sense in this kind of situation is kind of like bringing a smoke alarm to a BBQ

now what

wait did he put them back in the marble?? or is that panel just meant to show us how they were in the marble earlier?? Horikoshi please make this less confusing, I’m already having trouble staying focused as it is. and on top of everything else Compress is cascading blood like Niagara Falls right now and I’m starting to wonder if you really are going to kill him off

anyway so Mirio is still in mid-punch, and now he’s reaching out to punch Spinner with his other hand. heh. Mirio please be careful Tomura is right there, and I swear to god Horikoshi IF HE LAYS A HAND ON HIS SWIRLY BLOND HEAD SO HELP ME I WILL MAIL YOU A VIAL OF MY TEARS

okay seriously what the hell is happening

when you attach?? everyone?? to your body?? whose body?? who is this??

oh wait okay it’s a flashback to Tomura talking about his Hands

lmao this is so disjointed, I can’t tell what’s a flashback and what isn’t and whose thoughts these are lmao I give up. I’m just going to fire up a bunch of question marks until this starts making some goddamn sense. ???????

??????

????????

-- !!!!!!!!!!!

okay hold up. so did Spinner just slap Tomura’s last remaining Signature Fashion Hand onto his face just now for absolutely no reason?? is that what’s going on?? and fuck me but it actually worked too, lmao. is your buddy unconscious and unresponsive to stimuli?? no problem, just slap ‘em in the face with a burnt and shriveled severed hand. works every time

p.s. I SWEAR TO GOD HORIKOSHI. IF YOU TOUCH MIRIO!!! HE’S A GOOD BOY LEAVE HIM ALONE

??????????

OKAY WELL. I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WTF IS HAPPENING, BUT AT LEAST MIRIO’S NOT DEAD. KACCHAN GOT BLOWN AWAY THOUGH SOB. HOW IRONIC THAT THE GOD OF EXPLOSION MURDERS WOULD BE MURDERED BY AN EXPLOSION WHILE I WAS BUSY SAYING “OH MY GOD”

ohhhhhh, okay. so this is AFO’s narration

and that’s a partial answer to the question of “why did AFO bother raising Tomura up as his heir if he was planning on taking over his body the whole time.” apparently it makes it easier to control him. joy :’)

also this image of a potato wearing a Tomura wig is sending me fjkllkhl

oh my god he summoned all the Noumu to him like Aquaman and his sea creatures. this whole situation just keeps on getting better

-- oh hell no. oh fuck me, fucking shit

SHIT SHIT SHIT. I’M SORRY SPINNER, TOMURA CAN’T COME TO THE PHONE RIGHT NOW

oh my god. I fucking hate everything right now oh my god

I GUESS WE FIGURED OUT WHAT DEKU’S SPIDEY SENSE WAS WARNING HIM ABOUT, THEN ಠ_ಠ

fucking great!! so I guess nobody is getting a happy ending today, then. the heroes got their asses handed to them (sorry Compress, it’s a figure of speech, didn’t mean to be disrespectful); Deku and Kacchan died; Shouto’s evil brother came back from the dead to ruin his life; everyone and their dog lost various limbs; and the villains have now lost Twice (dead), Compress and Machia (presumably going to be captured), and now their fearless leader’s body has been completely taken over by AFO, which is such an unsexy development that it managed to completely undo all of the Mr. Compress Sexiness from last week. goddamn it

DAMN IT HORIKOSHI ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO END IT LIKE THIS

up close Hadou’s face is looking pretty rough. :/ that’s going to scar over isn’t it. at least she’ll look like a badass

meanwhile I appreciate that Horikoshi drew what looks to be a little puff of air next to Kacchan’s mouth, just to reassure us all that he’s not actually dead. that’s fine. you just lie there then. also his wound really is in the exact same place as All Might’s and it’s giving me all kinds of feels you guys but whatever I’m not gonna sit here dwelling on it all day

AND POOR SHOUTO. IS HE STILL CRYING OMG. AND ENDEAVOR, WAY TO DO NOTHING STILL. THE ALL TIME CHAMP OF SITTING AROUND AND STARING, GOOD FOR YOU

ARE YOU FOR REAL, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW

(－‸ლ)

lol

“peace out, loser.” “SHUT YOUR TRAP, HO.” quality encounter right here

anyway so he’s blasting Deku with something and Deku’s just flying back all unconscious-like. so then, what even was the point of all that, huh

oh I see, it was to lead us into one last Deku monologue to close this arc out

oh my god Deku if you say you’re going to save him I will turn around and do a cannonball into a ballpit of feels right now, don’t do this to me

OH SNAP I THINK HE’S GONNA THOUGH

DID HE LOOK LIKE HE NEEDED SAVING?? I MUST CONFESS YOU AND I ARE OF A MIND HERE, YOUNG BROCCOLI. YES IN SPITE OF ALL THE MURDERS. WHAT CAN I SAY IT’S COMPLICATED

by the way I just have to point out here, that after all of those impossibly pretty close-ups of Hawks’s unconscious face, Horikoshi really did my child dirty here lmao

he looks like a squished cockroach. THAT’S MY BABY BOY

and it looks like the cavalry is finally on its way too! took them long enough. so I guess they can take care of any of the remaining Noumu stragglers, but first let Deku finish his speech. listen up Deku I really need you to say something cool and iconic to cap off this thus-far admittedly underwhelming Last Chapter Of The Year, here

AHHHHHHH YES HE REALLY DID IT HE SAID THE THING

well he thought the thing, anyway. close enough. I’ll take it!

so this is really the end of the arc then! or at least I hope, good lord. anyways, all right then so let’s do a quick status check:

it looks like the Noumu are hauling Tomura and Spinner away to safety, but it doesn’t look like they managed to save Machia or Compress. this honestly might be in Compress’s best interests though. the heroes can get him some medical help along with Kacchan and Endeavor and everyone else

Dabi is apparently hidden inside Spinner’s scarf, but do they have any way of releasing him without Compress there to undo the quirk? will he be all right in there. like how is he going to get food and water and air and stuff lol. does it wear off after a bit? can Compress undo it when he wakes up, even if he’s in custody? is there a distance limit on it?

and Skeptic was presumably turned into a marble as well, but Compress didn’t bother mentioning him at all. nobody cares about poor Skeptic lol

and bonus AFO theories status check:

Dad for One - AFO called Deku worthless and hasn’t seemed to take the least bit of interest in him despite getting to see his fancy SIXQUIRKS up close and personal. so if he is his dad he sure as heck is a terrible one, that’s all I can say

All for One for All/Deku is a horcrux - well the Spidey Sense seems to offer an alternative explanation to why Deku could sense AFO’s presence, but on the other hand it doesn’t explain why AFO was able to sense Deku’s as well (seeing his dreams and such). still thinking there’s a connection there, guys, idk

AFO is the final villain - five words for you: “EVERYTHING IS FOR MY SAKE.” is that concrete enough yet lol. pretty sure this arc marked both the beginning and end of Tomura’s brief stint as the Big Bad. Deku’s got it in his mind to save him now somehow, and we all know what happens when Deku starts getting determined to save people. look out AFO

as for the heroes, they’re all varying degrees of Fucked and I think it’s honestly too much to even take stock of at this point. maybe if I get a rush of hyperfixation in the next couple days or so I’ll do a separate post analyzing the impact of this arc and where things currently stand and where they might be headed from here

but in the meantime, ngl, this chapter was kind of a hot mess lmao. but whatever, I don’t even care because at least he managed to get all of it done within the allotted 17 pages, meaning that next week (or rather two weeks from now, sob) we really can get moving onto the aforementioned Triage arc! BRING ON THAT ANGST. I am so fucking hyped goddammit

#bnha 295 #all for one #midoriya izuku #shigaraki tomura #mr. compress #spinner (bnha)#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #idk why but this chapter was so exhausting to get through lol #I've enjoyed this arc so much but I guess at the end the fatigue just hit me all at once #almost 40 chapters we've been doing this #that's one chapter for every year iida has been alive #still it sure was epic though #now bring on that angsty aftermath

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artificialqueens · 3 years

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Cause Though the Truth May Vary, This Ship Will Carry (Gigi/Nicky) - Campvanjie

AN: Based on the prompt: “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” - “Well, you shouldn’t be saying it then.” A slight AU Gigi/Nicky, little bit of unrequited crushing and a lot of fate, originally posted to my old AO3 account on May 24th, 2020. Edited as well to add non-binary pronouns for Gigi out of drag, as the original used male pronouns. Don’t worry, I’m the original author and only want all of my stories collected under one pen name.

Summary: Nicky and Gigi strike up a friendship online, but just can’t meet until the time’s exactly right.

CW: slight mentions of homophobia.

The sun’s almost setting on an August day when Gigi flicks through the games in their library, bored of sniping enemies from rooftops, set on finding something else that has a competitive mode, kicking underneath the bed to find their headset. It would probably be best to at least try to talk to other people, and maybe even count up all the times people call each other gay without even realizing they’re talking to someone, who’s made sixteen dollars an hour dressing up as a girl and working at the rock climbing wall for all of high school.

There’s gay, and then there’s Gigi Goode; with a closet hanging full of custom couture, not that they’d ever admit to their mom that her work isn’t the worst.

There’s only one player in the team’s group chat, as Gigi adjusts their headset so they can talk into the mic.

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

“Hi!”, laughs the voice in his headphones; crackling as Gigi shoots and blows apart a box in the game’s lobby. There’s an accent there he can’t quite place, not that it matters so much, since the guy on the other end easily guides him through the map and even cracks a couple of jokes as one of the other team’s players is booted off a cliff. Maybe he’s Spanish, or Russian, since there are lot of Russian people on the server at this time of almost- night.

They queue for another round, his player’s character stopping next to a poster of one of the girls in the game.

“I like her, do you?”, he asks, and Gigi cringes a little. Straight guys were fucking exhausting, but this was just embarrassing-

“Like, this coat, with the belt like this, makes her waist look like she is a wasp. The insect, not the white people.”, he keeps talking, and Gigi’s eyes widen a little.

“Yeah, I’d buy those boots.”, they joke, hoping that whoever it is, will take it in stride, and he won’t have to listen to someone who’d been cool for the past half an hour, suddenly start losing their mind over how gay that was to say out loud.

“The boots? I want this hair- I want just Mortal Kombat hair but like this color, and maybe instead of a gun I want the scepter, like Sailor Jupiter. You’ve seen that, yes?”

Gigi blinks a couple of times. He’s serious?

“Like, of course. Yeah.”

“She’s a Mugler bitch. Hm, aren’t you?”, the voice teases on the other end; kicking at one of the boxes in the game.

Gigi is silent, as their queue timer runs out, and their team join another game which is already active when they’re dropped in.

“It’s the Hermes winter collection.”

“What?”

“That jacket is a dupe from the Hermes winter collection. You said Mugler-”, Gigi repeats, blasting through a wall in the game.

“Oh- oh you’re saying- this past winter! Of course! Maybe someone on the design team is also a fan?”

“Maybe.”

The two of them finish the round, and Gigi eagerly hits yes; when a little box pops up to add TheNickyDoll to their friends list.

(Gigi adds him back on Discord, too- because they’re probably not taking the Xbox to college, and then, they can send pictures right away.

He’s not a serial killer, and he’s cute.

Gigi can’t help but wonder if Nicky thinks the same of them.)

They slowly knit together in between Gigi’s first semester, and when Nicky moves into a new apartment in the eleventh arrondissement in Paris, and pops a bottle of champagne against his camera on his phone, propped up in his new kitchen. He plays with the zipper on his hoodie, and Gigi still can’t help but be surprised with how simple his wardrobe is.

Gigi spends hours carefully curating their wardrobe, though they supposed in Europe, there were just better pickings.

“Don’t you have friends?”, Gigi jokes, shirtless against the white brick walls of their dorm.

“Everyone will be over later, but I just wanted to do a toast for your timezone. It will be like three am for you when everyone else gets off work.”

“So this is a private party? Well… okay let me get my card.”

“Seriously? Not that kind of party!”

“Didn’t say it was. Congratulations, by the way. I got you something! Well like, I found it, and it’s so you-“

Gigi flicks the camera to face forwards, swinging to a painting hanging in the closet.

“Aw, well you didn’t have to- what the fuck is that?”

“Putin! I painted him in like the eighth grade. My mom was dropping off some stuff last weekend and I can mail him-“

Nicky’s eyebrows shoot up, pots and pans clattering on the other end of the line.

“Bitch, I am trying to not be the victim of a hate crime.”

Gigi laughs a little bit, flipping the camera back to focus on their face.

“I never asked, what do you even do?”

“What?”

“Like you- you have a job right? What’s your job?”

“Ah, I’m working, well I worked at a makeup store, but now I have some contracts, and maybe, you know- this neighborhood is where all the bars and the clubs are. If there’s no work on the runways maybe some will be looking for new girls.”

Gigi’s cheeks run hot for a moment.

“Wait, you- you’re a girl?”, they ask weakly, hoping it won’t absolutely ruin their entire… whatever it is, when you’d rather have a private housewarming alone in bed, than pretend to enjoy the beers that are flowing through the rest of the hall downstairs.

“Only when I’m being paid. Do you know- well, you have to in America you have RuPaul’s show- it’s like that-“

“You do drag? Wait, really?”

“Shhhh.”, he stops them, pressing a finger between his lips. “It’s like, I haven’t got any bookings yet but some of the clubs are interested- some of the parties, too. I can be a bottle girl.”

Gigi simply blinks repeatedly in the screen.

“What- is that too gay? I thought we were both pretty gay.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Hey-“, Gigi keeps the camera on their face, their eyes flicking up towards the naked mannequin resting against the closet door. Most of Gigi’s things were still at home, but there was a black feathered swimsuit they’d been working on- if they took out the waist just a bit-

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Wow, we are getting deep in, Dr Phil.”

“Seriously, what is it?”

“I’m feeling pink recently. Usually just- something simple. Blue. Black. It’s soothing.”

“Black is not a color.”

“Then it’s my favorite not-color.” Nicky pours from the bottle into a flute on her counter. “Get something to drink, come on.”

“Uh-“

“Doesn’t matter what. Come on!”

Gigi reaches for Red Bull, yesterday’s alcohol mixed into it, tangy and stale in the metal can.

“Okay.”

“Pace a Salute!”, Nicky cheers, and they clink their drinks against the camera.

Two months later, there’s a wrapped package on his stoop, covered in foreign postage, wet at the edges like it’s been through- what Americans would call the ringer, the labels so scratched over he can barely make out the return address, when he cuts the cardboard open on his kitchen counter.

If this was that stupid Putin painting, he was deleting Gigi from his entire life-

Inside, is fabric folded in paper, a little cloth ribbon tied around where a card is tucked in.

“I dont know what your actual skin tone is because you need better lights but merry Christmas if it doesn’t fit or doesn’t match sell it on eBay and get better lights”,

Gigi has written, in neat, large letters.

Nicky carefully unfurls the rest of it, and there’s a blue and pink bodysuit inside, accented with green and yellow panels that glitter like the facets of a diamond, and a yellow jacket, the bottom cut off just below the ribs, hemmed in thick stitches so the fabric won’t roll up.

Had Gigi gone and had this made? Or was it off the rack?, he wondered, digging for price tags and labels in the fabric.

Nothing.

Shit.

He fires off a message to Gigi, who is still showing as offline, given it’s probably six in the morning where he is.

14:17

How much is this “gift” you got me? Wtf…

FaceTime me later.

There’s predictably no response, and that night; he paints carefully in the mirror in his bedroom, laying out the little black dress he had chosen for the performance on his bed.

At the very last minute though, it’s that little suit from Gigi that wins out, nude panels sliding over his tights as he shimmies in front of the mirror.

It’s not perfect, but it all looks very nice.

When later comes, Gigi is wearing a red wig with blonde streaks that she runs her long fingers through, winking at the camera.

“My mom’s actually a professional seamstress. It didn’t cost anything, babe.”, she says with a little shrug, a tight yellow dress barely moving around his shoulders. There’s always a party here; and Gigi can’t imagine hating it more, the little college town bigger than he was used to, and yet still- too small for what she really wanted.

“If you want other stuff, I’ll send it. There’s lots of stuff that I don’t really wear anymore and we kind of have the same style. It’s not like anyone can say anything, then they’d have to admit they’ve seen me out in public. Or I could even make you something, I’m bored all the time.”

“Why are you doing this?”, Nicky asks.

“I dunno. It’s not like you’re my competition. You’re my friend.”

19:41

Anyway, I’m dropping out of school, getting a nose job and moving out to LA.

Gigi types out on their phone, underneath the table at their family’s annual thanksgiving dinner.

19:41

Maybe not all at once.

Nicky’s reply comes lightning fast- making Gigi grin.

“Are you seriously getting nudes right now?”, one of their brothers asks, and their mother glares at the both of them over the table.

“I’m getting some new sketches from my atlier in Paris.”, they seethe, glancing back down at the floor. Nicky’s been trying to teach him French, like it’s something that occupies them so that Gigi doesn’t implode; in between sending him links to his favorite shows to watch, and YouTube links to makeup tutorials.

(He still hasn’t figured out if Nicky means it; or if he’s trying to be shady, and just doesn’t know how.)

“Atlier is where you get the clothes made, dumbass. Mom’s sewing room isn’t Paris.”

“Shut up!”

“All of you just stop-”

19:43

It’s a hard time in life in general.

Try not to listen so much to those voices in your head.

Nicky’s text pops up with a loud, mechanical pinging noise, three dots still hovering under the message as Gigi forces looks up from the screen and glowers across the table as they reach for more baby carrots.

19:43

Make mistakes, but not too many, haha. You’ll figure it out.

If it makes you feel a little bit better, I’m moving to San Fran

19:43

What? For real?

Gigi’s nails frantically tap over the screen.

19:45

Yes! I bought a ticket.

And my husband called an immigration lawyer, we’re going to get my green card situation set.

“Lawyer-”, Gigi gasps; and their entire family pauses, glancing over the table at them.

“Jesus Christ. You did it, didn’t you? You got arrested your first semester, and you weren’t even gonna tell us-”

“You weren’t supposed to hear that.”, they snap, flipping the bird at their oldest brother.

“Well, you shouldn’t be saying it then.”

Their whole table erupts in a discussion Gigi can’t pay any attention to.

19:50

Cool.

That means I get to see you soon.

It’s gonna be great.

They taps ou, and close the app with a smile.

They hadn’t known if Nicky even had a boyfriend, not that it mattered; until it did.

Apparently; he had been married, for almost the whole time they had known each other- a blow Gigi hadn’t quite expected, to leave them as breathless as landing in Los Angeles; the shock not setting in, not in full, anyway- until they are standing in a new apartment, looking down at a menu of instructions on how to set up the wifi in the unit, fingers hovering over everyone in contacts.

They can’t call their mom; not this soon, and their brothers would tell her, and the whole plan would crumble; just like everything had with Nicky; whose calls Gigi had declined for the past solid month; the nights they had spent with their phones propped up behind desks and dressing room mirrors fading into something beyond memory; that they refused to think about any more than they had to, the messages asking if they’re alright answered in curt, short replies.

How could they have been so stupid, thinking that they were talking-talking, teasing that Nicky and they were friends; when Gigi didn’t even know what his real name was.

(Unless it was Nicky?)

Shit.

Gigi waits for their phone to load into the app, and refreshes the friends list a couple of times, until they can see Nicky’s icon at the top, the side of the circle cut through with a little green dot, and taps twice to start a call.

“Hi?”

Nicky’s greeting floats in the air, between a breath and utter silence before Gigi swallows their pride, pressing the phone to the side of their face.

“What do you know about connecting a router to a tower if I live on the…um third floor?”

The line crackles, but soon there’s a tiny, familiar chuckle. “First of all, that is not how you do any of that-”

They talk a little more, every day; in between, Nicky moves to New York and Gigi cuts a tape that they put in the mail with a wink. They’re due for a visit home soon, and carefully proposes- maybe it’s time they meet Nicky. New York isn’t far at all, and a layover would make for a cheaper flight, anyway.

Their plans stack up in hours of calls; and Gigi think they’re almost back to normal. Until, three days before the flight is supposed to leave, there’s a call they had forgotten to wait for, and their fingers hover over the message box below Nicky’s name, vibrating with anxiety and excitement all at once.

09:22

Hey. I had a family thing come up.

Gigi types, and then erases the text, steeling themselves as they taps out another one that makes a little more sense, and doesn’t seem like such a lie.

09:30

I’m so so so so sorry about this

I had some things come up and my trip fell through.

They send this instead, surprised to see Nicky start typing back immediately.

09:35

You’re not going to believe this

I have some work things that started recently and so it would have been really shitty to have a guest over now.

09:35

No way!

09:37

Yeah. :(( But we’re gonna hang out someday, I swear!

09:37

Dont worry! You’re definitely gonna see me.

Real real real soon!

“-Where do I go?”, Gigi asks, pulling at the bottom hem of the ornate jacket she wore, fiddling with the gold telescope in her hands. The lights behind the set burned brightly, making the thicker bottoms of the outfit feel much warmer than he had remembered them being.

“Go to that green square on the ground, and wait there, when you see the little arrow light up, you can enter the Werk Room and then we’ll have you stop inside, get your opening line, and let you see the other girls.”

“Okay.”

He does as he’s told, prancing in and kicking his boots in front of him as the lights move to capture Gigi’s entrance, his head only snapping to the side when given the signal, so he can see the others who are already crowded around the pink tables he’s only dreamed of seeing for so long.

“Holy Shit…Nicky?!”

In reality; Gigi can see far more of the detail of Nicky’s face; of her eyebrows and carefully painted cheeks and lashes, of all the effort that they had only really talked about, his eternal summer tan and the long fringe of black hair that he’s always nudging across his forehead, or slicked against a beanie, gone behind a platinum blonde veneer that’s so much brighter than Gigi has ever seen. She’s thinner, and taller, careful breaths underneath sequinned shoulder pads, knees knocking together as she gasps.

“Gigi!”

Widow and Crystal glance at each other over the pink table.

“Hold up, you guys know each other?”

In the flesh; Gigi is impossibly small, the sharp angles of her face, and the dark brown hair that sticks up in angles which Nicky traces against the white of his pillows in his bedroom on the screen of his phone in the morning, taped underneath a gold-tipped pirate hat, and lush, wavy curls. She looks like a model on the runways where Nicky used to work; so close to him that he can feel Gigi’s breath on the back of his hand, as he tightens his grip around the epaulets on her shoulder.

“Gigi Goode.”, she repeats, and Gigi giggles a little at that.

“The Nicky Doll.”, she laughs, and her voice sounds so much more solid, than it ever has over every crossed wire.

Gigi’s hand swings, squeezing Nicky’s tightly as they swing around the table; like the others who are there don’t matter at all. She rests her head on Nicky’s padded shoulder, cocking it just slightly, waiting there, as Crystal’s eyes flash at the scene before them.

“…and may the best woman win.”, Gigi whispers, only for Nicky to hear.

#rpdr fanfiction #nicky doll #gigi goode #gigi x nicky #pre-ship #fluff #online friends au #s12 #on set fic #queen au #campvanjie #concrit welcome

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wigwurq · 3 years

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WIG REVIEW: THE UNDOING

You guys. Remember that time I said I was going to try to watch new movie releases and do more wig reviews in preparation for the weirdest Oscar season ever? Well instead I watched a lot of prestige TV. So. Here we are! Movies be damned, there are a lot of tv shows with women in bad red wigs and I watched them! The Undoing is one of those shows. Having already suffered through two whole seasons of Nicole Kidman in another David E. Kelley prestige HBO show (AND THE HORROR OF HER WIGS!) I wasn’t sure if I could stomach another one, but you guys - this one is TOTALLY DIFFERENT. It’s in NYC and her wig is curly not straight!!! Let’s discuss (and a whole lot more!) I will be going episode by episode...

Episode 1: The Undoing

First off, I love that this episode name is just the same name as the show. I can already tell we are in for some real creativity with this show! Anyway, we meet Nicole Kidman who probably has a character name but who cares! She is super rich and married to Hugh Grant which I absolutely love as a fan of the Paddington movies - she is the villain in the first one and he is in the second - and this show already feels like a villain supergroup movie because I definitely hate both of them. They’re both doctors, their palatial house looks like a magazine, and they have a seemingly well adjusted tween who doesn’t look like either of them (but he is the kid actor from A Quiet Place and Ford v Ferrari so ok I guess he can act?) Their one problem is that said kid wants a dog but they can’t have one because Nicole Kidman tells the kid that Hugh Grant once accidentally allowed his family dog to run into traffic and his family blamed him and that definitely sounds like a lie! A big little lie!!!

Speaking of which, Nicole Kidman’s wig. As we know from my harrowing journey through her Big Little Lies wig, David E. Kelley likes her as a redhead and I hate all her wigs. This wig harkens back to the 90s when she was still a scientologist and didn’t wear wigs all the time (what a different time!) Unlike back then, Kidman now has a new terrifying face to match her terrifying wigs. Truly, I don’t know what plastic surgeon she pissed off but her mouth is in a constant Joker grin and she is barely able to move parts of her face anymore? The wig is a tangled mess but the true horror is the seamwork - the part is from places not real and also imagined and the texture is something close to a Halloween fright wig.

Which brings me to the real theme of this show: Nicole Kidman’s addiction to midweight duster coats. She owns them all, y’all. We first see her in this green velvet number which looks like a robe, spans no seasons, and also carries you nowhere. BUT paired with this red curly mess, it does look like she is paying homage to Bette Midler in Hocus Pocus, and for that I say: amen. And also: PLEASE PUT A HEX ON THIS ENTIRE SHOW PLEASE.

Now to the plot??? Nicole Kidman sends her kid to a fancy schmancy private school and she is on some fundraiser committee with her only gal pal, Lily Rabe (praise be!) plus some other harpies that definitely won’t matter to the rest of this show at all. Also present is a new interloper of indeterminate ethnicity who has the audacity to be young, attractive, bearing curly hair WITHOUT a wig, and a small child who she has to feed from her own perfect bosom. THE HARPIES ARE SO PISSED BY BREASTFEEDING Y’ALL.

Anyway, this interloper chick is definitely weird and shows up at Nicole Kidman’s gym (where she does rigorous foot pointing exercises and somehow tames her wig back, kind of). The chick approaches Kidman in the buff with a combination of aggressiveness and openness that makes Nicole Kidman really uncomfortable though I definitely choose to believe that she’s mainly intimidated by bitch’s non-wigged hair.

Fast forward to the school fundraiser where Nicole Kidman switches up her midweight duster coat obsession for a friggin cape IF YOU CAN EVEN and all the harpies are present in their best dresses which could all definitely be worn to the Golden Globes and somehow the interloper is there also in a gown. HOW DARE SHE! THE HARPIES ARE PISSED! So is the vile Donald Sutherland (Nicole Kidman’s dad who just HATES Hugh Grant for reasons unknown).

But Hugh Grant leaves for a medical conference just as....dun dun dun....the interloper is murdered!!! ALSO NICOLE KIDMAN CAN’T REACH HUGH GRANT. Also he left his cellphone in a random junk drawer! I refuse to believe this magazine apartment has a junk drawer! Kidman’s wig magically stays halfway up without use of pins or elastics because that is just how horrifying this wig is! This show is so stupid!

Episode 2: The Missing

So Hugh Grant is fully on the lam and mainly NOT at that medical conference which may or may no exist but Nicole Kidman is not interested in googling it and that hot interloper remains to be murdered. Also Nicole Kidman’s wig is still a tangle of complete and utter nonsense AS IS THIS SHOW. Also this wig has two settings: dried out desert or oily sweat lodge. This episode starts on sweat lodge. Anyway, Nicole Kidman goes looking around for Hugh Grant and only finds more questions at his hospital and then goes to her job where she is kind of an ineffectual couples counselor. Also David E Kelley/Nicole Kidman prestige HBO shows I guess always require some couples counseling that is highly questionable.

ANYWAY! I forgot to mention that the lead investigator in this murder is Edgar Ramirez who is hot but also kind of shifty. He starts questioning Nicole Kidman about all kinds of crap involving Hugh Grant and then lays down some hard truths: HUGH GRANT SUCKS!!! He got fired from his hospital job curing children’s cancer after he got too close to one of his patients’ moms and DUH IT’S THE HOT INTERLOPER. Nicole Kidman has to gather a calming circle of midweight duster coats to even deal with this new development.

I really love that Hugh Grant is basically just starring as himself in the mid 90s (REMEMBER DIVINE BROWN?) and I’m kind of here for it. Regardless, Hugh Grant is now the prime suspect in this whole mess and Nicole Kidman’s beautiful magazine apartment is now being completely pulled apart and all she can do is look at her terrifying face and touch it with her terrifying talons and pack up all her midweight duster coats and get the eff out of there. BUT TO WHERE?!

DUH NICOLE KIDMAN OWNS A BEACH HOUSE OBVS. So she drives out there and is somehow able to braid her damn wig! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE. THE WIG IS VERY UPSET ABOUT IT AS AM I. She and her tangled tiny braid (she has so much hair in that wig - why is the braid so small??) stare out into the ocean a lot and ignore her child. Also new coat alert and this one is PLAID!!!

And then Hugh Grant shows up and is super creepy and chokey. He tries to explain his actions and confirms his affair with hot interloper which is basically just all a plot synopsis of Fatal Attraction but says that he definitely did NOT murder her. WE SHALL SEE ABOUT THAT. Nicole Kidman calls 911 anyway.

Episode 3: Do No Harm

OMG GUYS THIS EPISODE STARTS WITH EDGAR RAMIREZ SHOWING UP AT NICOLE KIDMAN’S BEACH HOUSE IN A HELICOPTER. How much money is the NYPD really willing to spend on Hugh Grant? All of it? Anyway, Hugh Grant ends up in jail (which is not as fabulous as his prison time in Paddington 2) and we find out that he fathered that baby the hot (murdered) interloper had and willfully breastfed in front of those harpies in episode 1. THIS SHOW IS WILD AND ALSO STUPID.

Speaking of wild and stupid, Nicole Kidman visits Hugh Grant at Rikers and we are led to believe that Rikers Island has a COAT CHECK?!?!?! Look: she shows up in one of her millions of midweight duster coats and in the visiting room she has none. ARE YOU KIDDING ME, SHOW?!?!?! THIS ALSO HAPPENS TWICE BECAUSE THEY CHECK BOTH HER AND HER SON’S COATS THE SECOND TIME WHAT.

Hugh Grant maintains his innocence and somehow Nicole Kidman’s bent ass wig is convinced and they hire a fabulous defense lawyer which the vile Donald Sutherland is none too thrilled about paying for and spends lots of quiet time at the Frick Museum about it also WTF show you’re willing to pay for the Frick and not frickin wigs. Also Nicole Kidman is confronted by the hot interloper’s husband and it does not go over well. No social interactions in this show make any sense, also.

In the end, Nicole Kidman gets ANOTHER midweight duster coat, Edgar Ramirez questions Nicole Kidman AGAIN but this time with video surveillance footage of her walking outside the hot interlopers studio...the night she was murdered and YES IN THAT DAMN CAPE. WAIT WHAT?! Also even in surveillance footage, Nicole Kidman’s wig is a mess.

Episode 4: See No Evil

This episode introduces the idea that Nicole Kidman really likes taking walks. Long walks, nighttime walks, sleepwalks? Nobody knows, especially Nicole Kidman. When asked why she was walking near the murdered interloper’s studio, Nicole Kidman just kinda shrugs and says “I take walks!” AND EVERYONE BELIEVES HER!!! WTF IS THIS SHOW. It should be noted that this long walks are taken in her usual midweight duster coats (WHICH ARE SUBTLY DIFFERENT COLORS AND FABRICS FROM OTHER MIDWEIGHT DUSTER COATS SHE OWNS) and very not sensible boots. Her walks can last between 10 minutes and 10 hours and who is to say where she even goes and who she is followed by? Maybe the interloper’s husband follows her around or maybe it’s in her head? Maybe she murdered the interloper and didn’t quite remember it? Regardless: it’s a lot of walking and it is EXHAUSTING for us all and finally Nicole Kidman just passes out in Central Park after minutes or hours of walking around and a bunch of kids form a literal calming circle around her and my eyes rolled into the reservoir.

This episode is also all about money, hunny! Nicole Kidman has a lot of it - so much that it was revealed in the last episode she didn’t even notice that a lot of it was missing from that time Hugh Grant lost his job and didn’t tell anyone for a few months except the vile Donald Sutherland who loaned him $500K AND NO ONE KNOWS WHERE THAT MONEY WENT!!!! Well I hope you kept your check book out, Donald Sutherland because now you need to pay $2 MILLION DOLLARS to get Hugh Grant out of jail. Ok? OK. ALSO DO YOU JUST OWN THE FRICK MUSEUM????

So now Hugh Grant just lives in his old magazine apartment which has somehow returned to magazine status after Edgar Ramirez and a thousand cops completely ransacked it. Also now Nicole Kidman and the son live at the vile Donald Sutherland’s house so all is...well? Well no not really because Nicole Kidman STILL HAS THAT DAMN WIG.

AND THAT ISN’T EVEN THE MOST HORRIFYING PART OF THIS EPISODE! That came when Hugh Grant, now free from jail and left to his own devices, visits the interloper’s widow and children! WHAT IS HE DOING!! Somehow, interloper’s husband lets Hugh in and lets him hold the baby which he fathered. AND THEN HUGH REVEALS HE’S MET THIS BABY BEFORE AND OFFERS TO TAKE CARE OF IT! WHILST ON TRIAL FOR MURDER! THIS SHOW!!!!!

Episode 5: Trial by Fury

WHAT IS EVEN DONALD SUTHERLAND’S APARTMENT?!?! It has a balcony, and it seems to have a balcony cover because no one gets wet when they go out on the balcony and it’s raining. Rich people really live in a different climate zone than the rest of us garbage people. Regardless, Nicole Kidman’s frizzy wig is at PEAK FRIZZINESS on this balcony.

Anyway, the trial of the goddamned century is finally here!! And Nicole Kidman’s wig part still remains an elusive mystery. What is being kept in there? NO ONE CAN SEE ACTUAL SCALP OR ANSWERS. Another question: why did everyone bring their kids to the trial where they could see very upsetting pictures (that I didn’t even look at!) of the murdered interloper. CHILD ABUSE! ALSO! WOULD EVERY SINGLE GODDAMNED CABLE NEWS NETWORK REALLY COVER THIS CASE SO CLOSELY??? I guess it’s not an election year in this alternate reality.

Which makes this scene where the whole family dines out and no one bothers them at all the more improbable. Also completely insane? At one point, Hugh Grant just storms out of the dinner and into the bar area of the restaurant (omg remember restaurants?) and Nicole Kidman follows him there and they have a very intense conversation about family secrets literally in the entrance of a busy restaurant. WHAT REALITY IS THIS SHOW IN?!?!?! The family secret? Remember that time Nicole Kidman told their son that he couldn’t have a dog because Hugh Grant accidentally killed his family dog? IT WASN’T A DOG IT WAS HIS 4 YEAR OLD SISTER. WHAT IN THE DAMN HELL!!!!

Nicole Kidman attempts to corroborate this insane story that she has never ever heard before with Hugh Grant’s family who don’t return her calls but do facetime her out of the blue in the middle of the night. Sure! And who is Hugh Grant’s mom? TONY AWARD WINNING ACTRESS ROSEMARY GODDAMNED HARRIS. WHAT. Not only does she confirm that Hugh Grant definitely accidentally killed his sister, but he also was never ever upset by it! Sure looks like Hugh Grant is a sociopath! MMkay!

Oh and then in the final moments of this episode Nicole Kidman finds the murder weapon - a sculpting hammer - in her son’s violin case. THIS SHOW IS A FRIGGIN LUNATIC.

Episode 6 - The Bloody Truth

So at this point in this show, I have fully gone. I don’t even know what is real or fantasy at this point: all I know is that Nicole Kidman’s wig is my nightmare. ALSO! She has a new midweight duster coat and it is the absolute most outrageous - a silk embroidered number you can literally wear NOWHERE EXCEPT FOR THE MURDER TRIAL OF HUGH GRANT.

The main concern in this episode is how Nicole Kidman’s son happened to get ahold of the murder weapon. So he just found it....in the beach house fire pit?!?!?! WHAT A DUMB PLACE TO PUT A MURDER WEAPON WHEN YOU HAVE AN OCEAN INCHES AWAY TO FLING IT INTO! Even dumber: this show wants you to believe that this 12 year old kid would have the wherewithall to put this murder weapon through the dishwasher - TWICE!! Vulture and I both say NAH to that.

Anyway, Nicole Kidman’s wig which is somehow pushed back with clips unknown spends a lot of time in a robe (or a coat? WHO KNOWS AT THIS POINT) making secret phone calls to Lily Rabe (who I am happy is back because she’s kind of the only fun part of this show). WHAT IS NICOLE KIDMAN UP TO?!?!?!

Much like Big Little Lies season 2, it all comes down to Nicole Kidman taking the stand. BORING! Hugh Grant is all but gonna win this thing and then Nicole Kidman gets up there and totally backs him up...until she is cross examined by the prosecuting attorney (WHO IS OLD PALS WITH LILY RABE) and magically knows all about Rosemarry Harris’s facetime! Now everyone knows that Hugh Grant is a child murderer and sociopath! AND HE IS PISSED!

The final sequence of this show is just far too insane to even fathom BUT basically before definitely being found guilty, Hugh Grant texts his son and they meet for breakfast but then breakfast turns into a car chase upstate! It is never explained how Nicole Kidman would allow her son out of her sight OR how Hugh Grant wouldn’t already be tailed by cops but whatever! Also not explained: how Nicole Kidman is able to issue an Amber alert for her kid and then get into a GODDAMNED HELICOPTER and follow Hugh Grant north and then land on the very bridge he’s about to jump off of but WHO CARES!! THIS WHOLE SHOW IS WHO CARES BECAUSE IT TURNS OUT HUGH GRANT WAS THE MURDERER ALL ALONG JUST LIKE WE THOUGHT IN EPISODE 1 AND EVERYTHING ELSE HAS JUST BEEN A MIDWEIGHT DUSTER COAT FASHION SHOW!!! ALSO THE WIG SUCKED! GOODBYE YOU TERRIBLE STUPID SHOW!

Verdict: Doesn’t Wurq

#undoing #undoinghbo #nicolekidman #hughjackman #donaldsutherland #helicopters #edgarramirez #midweightdustercoats #nightmarewigs

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usernamesuggestionsarefunny · 3 years

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Does it annoy anyone else that in book to movie adaptations casting directors seem to get the hair color right but not the eye color?

Or when the child actress/actor who plays a young character has a vastly different eye or skin color than the actress/actor who plays the same character as a grown up?

What universe do these people live where brown eyes suddenly turn blue upon your 18th birthday?

Or viceversa?

Why are little Margaret's eyes green and brown as an adult in The Crown?

Why do Lily Potter's eyes turn light from brown as a little girl in the movie wtf?

What is the point of even attempting to have the actor/actress resemble the book character or the grown up actress?

The funny thing is that eye color usually remains constant throughout one's life after the person becomes a toddler, while hair color can become darker as one becomes an adult. You can also dye the hair or have the actor wear a wig, while using eye contacts or cgi usually looks artificial or is very expensive, so casting directors are literally focusing on the least important stuff when casting the child actors.

Maybe casting directors just assume we the audience are stupid as hell and don't care for details, only obvious shit like hair color.

Maybe most people only care for hair color and that is enough for an actor to be "perfect for the role".

On my part, if both the eye color and hair color, or other physical traits like height described in the book, are not correct, I dont care for any particular resemblance. Just cast the best actor regardless of how they look like unless it is relevant (cough cough Lily's green eyes she is supposed to share with her son, they could have at least casted a little girl with blue eyes like Daniel's cough cough) or important for the context, regardless of how he or she is described in the book or was in real life.

#eyecolor #casting #hair color #movie adaptation #actress #lily potter #harry potter #the crown #eye color

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galaxina-the-pyro · 4 years

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Okay, stupid AU idea but hear me out (based off of that one comic issue about Zim putting Dib in an alternate reality where they’re brothers):

Basically some time after Dib was born/created and before Gaz was a thing and stuff, Membrane discovers Smeet Zim and raises him alongside his other children. And Zim basically grows up thinking he’s a human with a freaky skin condition and is still an asshole but is, like, nicer and stuff. But eventually Zim starts to wonder “hey, wait, I’m green and aliens are green and I wear a wig and contacts and stuff, this is weird, maybe I am an alien...”

And GAZ knew all along without anyone knowing, she just sorta accepted it and was like “really? Ya’ll didn’t know? Fucking moron”, while Dib, FRIGGING OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DIB, never actually considers Zim an alien in the AU because he has it in his had that all space aliens are evil and Zim is CLEARLY not evil - a lil’ SHIT sometimes, but DEFINITELY not evil. So yeah, a bunch dumb crap happens and eventually they’re like “shit, Zim IS an alien, wtf” and drama happens, I guess. X’D

This was a lot better in my head, I will admit, lol

#invader zim #invader zim au #au #zadf #zapmf #zagf #dont worry GIR is in thid AU too eventually

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sailorzakuro · 4 years

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SCD 2020 - Week 3: Movie Week Thoughts

I should have a witty line prepared before the keep reading line but I’m not that well prepared so...

Nicola and Katya - UH EXCUSE ME 19 WTF WAS THAT all my votes went to them cos of that stupid score 😂. They’re joint favourite with Bill for me so I usually give 2 to Nicola and 1 to Bill but after that all 3 went to Nicola I’m sorry I did not see a lot wrong with that 😂. All I thought were performance aspects, she seemed to lack energy in some places compared to Katya and looked as if she was concentrating a couple of places, but she had some really nice sharp dynamics, great timing and that 50s air about her she was so cool 😍. Although was I denied her in a Danny Zuko leather jacket maybe...

Maisie and Gorka - Wow that wig was a lot anyway it was good!! Mostly in her upper body she had really nice extensions and used dynamics well to create that softer elegant fluidity. I don’t think it was perfect, some bits didn’t look as smooth as they could have been to me, but overall it was definitely really good 😂. Random but Tess saying she loved Frozen since she was a little girl we were 12 and I mean personally at 12 I was in my grown out of Disney for that few years before you find it cool again phase (although me and my friends did watch Frozen in the cinema on a sleepover we dropped popcorn all over the floor we were wild) probably not the case of Maisie but she can’t have been that little 😂.

Caroline and Johannes - Aww I felt kind of bad for her she embraced the theatre aspect so much but it is still too placed and gentle 😭. She has no power in her moves, so while she gets all the steps right she needs to put in some dynamics and energy to, for this dance, give a powerful dramatic theatre-like performance.

Jason and Luba - Oh honey no 😭. My mum was screaming saying how brilliant this was just because it was Star Wars sometimes I feel like such a dance snob next to her 😂. Similar to Caroline’s Paso last week there was just no power behind his moves, he said it in his face (most of the time) but not in his body. And to add on to that his limbs were super stuff, and he had some timing and balance issues. Idk if the music was just too slow to make the routine work? Maybe if he were moving faster he would end up with cleaner footwork on some moves. Anyway not his best idek if we’re gonna see more of him oof.

JJ and Amy - YAY BALLROOM JJ IS BACK sorry I love his ballroom and this was so sweet 😂. His footwork made the whole routine feel so elegant and sweet, and his overall frame is still pretty solid. I think for ballroom he needs to start playing around with what sort of dynamics he can do in his upper body, have a swizzle around of his neck and see how he can move it as atm some of his turns look a little stiff, so hopefully if he does another ballroom he’ll get a chance to test the waters and see what he can do cos idk what else to fault 😂.

HRVY and Janette - K idk the thing with basic triple cha moves but it didn’t bother me 😂. It was overall pretty good!! He had nice footwork, good dynamics and really felt the rhythm of the music. Carrying on from his jive though he still needs to improve his upper body, his arms could be extended more to create nicer lines, and when he opens he needs to push his chest out more so that doesn’t look as lazy. But that’s it I thought it was really good 😂.

Ranvir and Giovanni - OH YES GO ON RANVIR YOU OWN THAT LEADERBOARD this was amazing I’m sorry 😂. Actually no I’m not sorry THAT WAS AMAZING 😂. Everything was perfect to me, she had excellent frame, beautiful extensions, great fluidity, bang on timing, smooth transitions, THIS WAS AMAZING I know I keep saying that but holy shit that was iconic I said it.

Jamie and Karen - Wow that was... okay 😂. He’s definitely improved but I don’t think I’d go as far as the praise he was getting from the judges. It still all feels a bit stiff to me, and while he was definitely getting the whole greek god motif correct sometimes there could have been a bit more flow to me? I think his posture and arms could have looked nicer, but that is pretty much it. He had nice swivel, some nice dynamics (not all the time) and he definitely had the energy for it 😂. Definitely his best dance but idk about ALL the praise 😂.

Clara and Aljaz - Complaining about a disco tango Shirley what do you expect from Lady fucking Marmalade 😂. I thought it was really good!! Her shoulders have come down from last week thank fuck her frame was great! Her tango hand could have been a bit cleaner but I’ll take what I can get 😂. Her timing and footwork was good, she had such a sharpness to her moves and really nice fluidity, it was great 😂.

Max and Dianne - OH HERE WE GO OKAY who green lighted this idea anyway it was okay 😂. I think maybe the hype of what the dance actually was may have overshadowed his actual dancing... IT WAS GOOD he put a lot into it and definitely got into the character and vibe of the dance but it still all looked a bit messy to me. He still needs more energy and dynamics to make all his movements look cleaner, but everything else was pretty good. And he did the floppy fish so... gotta give him that 😂.

Bill and Oti - OKAY WHAT DID I SAY COMEDIANS ARE AMAZING AT PASOS AND AM I WRONG AM I WRONG 😂. Okay, the good: amazing stance and posture, brilliant dynamics, timing all correct and kept up with the energy and vibe of the dance. Oh and guitar solo. The bad: Hands still need work, and a couple of timing and balance issues. The ugly... idk that eyeliner was a bit funny 😂.

GOOD WEEK I think everyone has made improvements in some way and they’re all up to a really good standard 😂.

#strictly come dancing #strictly come dancing 2020 #yes i watch strictly

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jcams88 · 4 years

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DAVID ROSE IS A GOOD BIG BROTHER HE LOVES HIS SISTER

OH GOD wow was not expecting that

LEXI? Lexi? Thanks. I hate it.

LOL DAVEY

Stop calling her LEXI I HATE IT

Oh whoops Pat did that slip your mind? Communication friends

Hearing David say the word “Bazongas” is something I didn’t know I needed until it happened

OH hi Sassy Pat

Arthur………. I hate him

You know what I don’t hate? THOSE SLEEVES THEY ARE AMAZING

Johnny Rose loves his daughterrrrr

Poor Annie’s ears with all those giant earrings

It was… JARRING, to say the least, hearing Alexis call someone who wasn’t Ted “Babe”

Is that… an Owl? Is it a Cat? Is… is it both?

SO MANY MOIRA WORDS

LOL Stevie is one of those people who wants to egg David. I know she is.

I LOOOVE the subtle color in his Moira wig!

Ya… ya just gonna leave that cart there Stevie?

Have I mentioned I hate this guy? Because I do.

And yet another quality Twy story

YEAH JOHNNY GET HIM OUT OF THERE I HATE HIM

Fuck you and your pool, Artie. ALEXIS IS NOT YOUR ARM CANDY SHE DESERVES MORE THAN BEING SOMEONE’S TROPHY NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU BITCH

AND STOP CALLING HER LEXI

Just run, Stevie. Just go.

Oh it’s the lady from the grocery store!

Do you not want to rub salt, Patrick? Because I think you do, Sassy Pants

How many times do you think David has brought up that slot machine?

SHE BROUGHT THE BELL FROM HOME

Oh noooo Alexis you deserve better than stupid Arthur you’re worth more than that bb.

Johnny Rose loves his baby girl and wants only what’s best for her

But he also doesn’t understand emotions but he’s trying

Patrick cannot wrap his brain around why someone wouldn’t want to work in his perfect store that he spent so much time building from the ground up with the love of his life like wtf is wrong with her how dare she???????

LOL those fake laughs

Now it’s David’s turn to be Sassy Pants but LOOK AT THAT KOALA HUG

ASKJDFHKJ THIS TOURISM VIDEO

Catherine O’hare is a genius

LOL THE BOYS IN THE BACKGROUND

And we get yet another Green Pat Shirt!

“If heaven had a creek, it would be this one” THIS IS THE TRUTH

OK so this was obviously a funny buffer between the heavy storyline of last week and I think it was well needed.

#schitt's creek #schitts creek #sc spoilers #spoilers

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pyotatochip · 5 years

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just like dancing | hyunjin x reader

what’s up losers. this one goes out to @starhhj thanks for always hurting me so good <3

just like dancing | hwang hyunjin x gender neutral reader wordcount: 4k inspired by: sidekick by walk the moon summary: meeting up with a photographer for a day of modelling turns into making a maybe forever friend.

ur a model

well. aspiring model.

ur instagram is a buncha pictures that u make ur friends take of you whenever y'all hang out

u have booked a couple photoshoots and submitted them to magazines

u even got published a couple times!!!!

not in anything big, just photography journals and portraiture mags

BUT IT'S SOMETHING!!!!

photoshoots are hella expensive tho fuckin. rip ur wallet

so u join a facebook group, which is something u never thought u would do

the idea was that aspiring photographers and aspiring models would meet up, get experience, and maybe make professional relationships

you? young and cute

all these photographers? 36 yr old dudes

they always invite you to their studios in their houses

to do artsy half nude shoots

so u were pretty unwilling to meet up with most of them

(understandable)

but then this one schmuck posts in the group, just when u so happen to be looking for weekend plans

“looking for a model this saturday, autumn themed shoot at han river. the leaves are really pretty right now, i wanna catch them before too many fall”

han river was a pretty public place, so u DEFINITELY felt safer

and like, ur school is pretty close to there, so ur familiar with the area

u comment “i'm free all day, give me a time and i'll meet you there”

after it posted, you clicked on his profile and

fuck

he was not 36

and he was CUTE

u freaked the fuck out

this kid looked like he was ur age. and he was hot.

should u delete the comment?

why would u do that?

bc ur nervous?

why are u nervous?

bc the photographer is a hottie?

is that really a good excuse?

before u could debate with urself much longer, ur comment received a like and u got a private message

hyunjin: hi! u look great! meet at the main gates of yeouido park at 9am?

“u look great!”

“U LOOK GREAT!”

(jooe sunbaenim is quaking)

screech

you: so early! okay! what kinda look are u going for?

hyunjin: haha i wanna get that fall morning light!!! i’d like it to be pretty autumnal. warm colors, maybe a sweater/scarf/jacket combo? if u have something like that. minimal makeup & hair, if you're into that stuff. hopefully that's all okay (^ム^)

you: sounds good! see you saturday!

you spend the next few days at school literally just thinking about how ur meeting up with a cutie on saturday

u rlly dont know what to do with urself

i show ur friend a pic of him and she's like “HOOYKY FUXKJGN GODJ”

which was basically your initial reaction too

but then shes like “he looks familiar??? is he a model too???”

u have literally no idea but it's completely possible

like, it's a waste to have that face exclusively behind the camera

and suddenly the two of u are like. obsessively going through his instagram bc WHAT THE FUCK he’s like….. REALLY GOOD

like, he does a lot of portraits, but the focus isn't necessarily always the person in the photo

the composition and background are just as important in every shot and it…. shakes u

there’s a few pictures of him too, all of which are v aesthetic

but how could they not be??? have u seen his face????

he also tags literally every person in his pictures whether they’re models or just his friends while they’re hanging out

and he photocreds everyone who takes pics of him!!

you are literally…. fallin’ in love

because he was cute and had a good eye and wrote cute captions and was so humble!!!

ur friend is like “wow we stan a pro”

“he looks seriously familiar tho, right?”

she's like “yeah i'm confused why have i seen his face before”

and ur shook bc like… if u had seen this boy irl there's no way you would forget how cute he is

finally,,, it's the weekend

you get on the train and head to han river early in the morning, dressed up and made up for your ~autumn photoshoot~

as soon as you get to the gates ur like.. holy fuck

it's so pretty

the leaves are a mix of orange and red and green and there's a couple dusting the ground too

no wonder hyunjin wanted to shoot here

ur kinda aimlessly wandering around the gate when u suddenly spot

him

he’s wearing a bomber jacket and has a camera bag over his shoulder

and his neck is literally at a 90° angle while he's looking at his phone

ur like…. that cant be ok

u get a notif while ur walking up to him and its a message from him asking if u were on ur way

“actually, i can't make it”

he looks up and immediately laughs. “hi! y/n?”

u wave. “hi hyunjin!! nice to meet you!!”

y'all exchange pleasantries and he's suddenly like

“your outfit is literally perfect” he steps back to look at u. “exactly what i had in mind”

u put up a peace sign. he laughs again.

uh oh

u really like his laugh

and his smile

and his everything

uh oh

he leads you further into the park where there's less people and more trees

“i brought another jacket and a couple of scarves in case u wanted something different” u say as he's helping you take off ur backpack

“oooooo a professional”

“not even”

he asks you if he can take a boomerang of u for his instagram story and u do a lil twirl

he gasps

“that was cute!!!!”

he giggles while he's posting it

what is with this kid and his giggles

u cant

if he keeps doin it at this rate, it'll probably be the death of u

which is

cool

he puts your backpack on and pulls his camera out of his bag. “let's take some pics in this outfit and then i'll peek at the other options. i like this look a lot”

and then… he just starts taking pictures

u literally laugh

“where do you want me?”

“wherever,” he goes, checking the pics real fast. “i tend to go for candid shots”

suddenly,,, his entire instagram flashes in your brain

the pictures of people laughing and mid walk and reading books

u thought all the models were just. really comfy and professionals and shit

IT WAS ALL A LIE

“so uhhh…” u literally dont know what to do

u have Never done a shoot Like This

“just walk,” he said. “look around. i'll follow”

you: no fear

hyunjin: just walk

you: one fear

u nervously laugh again and he's hitting his shutter like A MILLION TIMES A SECOND

“okay…… i guess i'll walk then”

u push his shoulder while u walk past him bc he's cheesin at u way too hard for u to handle

“ow”

“that didn't hurt”

“it hurt my heart :(“

ur walking backwards and laughing and he's just. only looking at you through his camera.

so. u wander.

u take a lovely morning walk down the pretty paths at han river

u really were so scared that u would be completely directionless, but hyunjin ends up asking you to do specific things also

“go up on those rocks”

“i'm literally wearing slippery ass boots do you want me to die”

“do it for the shot, y/n”

sIGHHHHHH

so ur up on some rocks trying not to fall into a fucking river

and when hyunjin shows u the pics he takes….

okay

yeah

he was right

the entire time he was shooting, he would just strike up conversation to make you comfy

asking how long you've been pursuing modelling

if u wanna do it as a career or if its just a hobby

about ur family

about ur pets

(he asks a lot about pets)

ur sitting on a bench and he's crouched a few feet away to get those ~angles~ when he asks

“where do u go to school?”

“kyunggi”

hyunjin gasps. “no way! me too!”

you fuckin ALMOST DIE

because u fuckin brainblast and have a recovered memory of seeing hyunjin In Your School's Uniform in the lunchroom and suddenly IT ALL MAKES SENSE

you hop up from the bench and like. YELL.

“OKAY I THOUGHT YOU LOOKED REALLY FAMILIAR ARE YOU KIDDING”

he stands and literally screams and u are. so shocked. “i thought you looked really familiar too!!!! i figured i just had seen your pics on the facebook group!!!! i highkey stalked ur instagram bc i couldn't figure out where i knew you from!!”

okay, wig

he stalked you also which is….. great

“what year are you???”

“i'm a junior!”

you push him.

“boi what the fuck! me too!”

“no way!!!” he's laughing “that's crazy!”

he literally pulls out his phone and opens instagram

u have never seen a person use instagram stories as much as this bitch

like, he intermittently pulls out his phone to get shots for his story

u almost threw hands when u were sliding around on some stupid wet rocks bc he was like “JUMP AGAIN I NEED IT FOR A BOOMERANG”

he does this cute lil hair flip and adjusts his bangs before he starts recording and u…. kinda wanna cry

“I KNEW Y/N LOOKED FAMILIAR”

he spins so ur in the shot with him and puts his arm over your shoulders

“WE'RE LITERALLY IN THE SAME YEAR AT THE SAME SCHOOL”

u laugh out loud

he laughs with you and u have to cover ur mouth so an uwu doesn't fall out

u try not to focus on his literally perfect eye smile as he hunches over his phone to post to his story

like,,,

those crescents

are so cute

and he has this lingering grin every time he laughs

and like. wow. lips. amirite. ladies and gents.

“i cant believe u go to kyunggi,” u say. bc u cant.

“what are the odds. out of all the people in that group, we end up meeting up”

u almost made a joke about it being destiny but then u were like oo no thats creepy dont say that

then hyunjins gasps

and u look at him

and he just looks at you wide eyed

and fucking

whispers

“destiny”

you scream laugh

he's laughing too

but on a real level ur like why would that have been super creepy if u said it but it was cute as hell (and a little heart fluttery) when he did?

he goes on saying it's crazy that you had never had any classes together over the years

“or any clubs,” u said

“yeah!!! what clubs do you do??”

“photography! which is why i'm shocked!!!”

hyunjin gasps again

wtf is up with this boy and his gasps

“i was gonna do photography but they meet the same days as dance!”

BITCH

WHAT THE FUCK

“I DONT DO DANCE BC THEY MEET THE SAME DAYS AS PHOTOGRAPHY”

his entire jaw drops off his damn face

“YOU DANCE TOO?”

“I’M JUST AS SHOCKED AS YOU ARE”

u literally can't believe

“we've been barely missing each other all this time when we could have been best friends :(“

oh ow

ouch hyunjin

that got u right in ur weak heart

like literally u might have a heart condition now bc he just hit u with the “we could have been best friends”

“sorry i already have a best friend”

DGDGSH WHY DID YOU SAY THAT

then he's laughing and ur like… oh fuck wheew

“well, sorry, i'm replacing them now. we have to catch up on lost time.”

and honestly………. he's right

number 1: y'all are both photography nerds

even tho you have begun to skew on the modelling side of it, u always loved taking pictures of scenery and u knew way too much about how cameras worked

and hyunjin really was like a pro

u had watched him adjust settings on his camera for white balance and exposure and everything

and judging by his instagram, he set himself up for some flawless editing too

number 2: y'all are both dance nerds

he tells u basically all his friends are in the dance club and have formed a lil dance crew bc of it

u say u used to take classes when u were younger but now u just go to the gym and hide in a practice room for a few hours every week

he does hip hop! which is so predictable but u still act all surprised

u tell him u used to do ballet but ur much more into urban dance these days

number 3: y'all both don't know how to stop laughing

like literally if either of you do anything remotely funny the other one is fucked for five minutes

ur pretty sure 90% of the pics hyunjin was taking were of you covering your face because ur literally GUFFAWING

and like, y'all ain't even that funny

but the more you laugh the less funny shit has to be for you to be crying

hyunjin told u to stop making him laugh bc his fingers were getting weak and he didnt wanna drop his camera

you, trying not to giggle: its ok u have a strap around ur neck u can drop it

hyunjin, tears flowing freely: PLEASE LET ME BREATHE

number 4: y'all both LOVE UR PETS

like idk man he tells u about kkami and u freak the fuck out because he's just SO EXCITED ABT HIS PUP

and hyunjin almost ditches u right then n there when u say ur more of a cat person BUT he forgives u because ur cat is literally named hot dog

this is highkey the most fun you've ever had on a shoot

like, you feel so comfortable with hyunjin

and every time you take breaks to peek at the pictures he's been taking

u like … literally stop breathing

he's so talented ;;

you eventually swap jackets and scarves and wander around more

and literal hours later hyunjin's like

“are u hungry”

u stare. “always”

he laughs. “do you wanna go to the convenience store and make ramen”

“i thought you'd never ask”

so y'all go to the conbini and pick out ya fave ramen packets

(and some chips and candy bc u have literally no self control)

hyunjin really tries to buy your food for you but you yell at him while ur checking out bc Boi. No.

the cashier: watched the two of you look at food and bump into each other constantly, touching each others arms and giggling the whole time

you: leave me the fuck alone hwang hyunjin or i'm calling the cops!!!

the cashier: ????????

u make ur ramen at the handy dandy hot water dispenser and carefully bring it back to a seating area in the park

“be careful it's hot!!!”

“hyunjin please, u act like i'm not a ramen pro”

“i just didnt want u to burn ur cute lil mouth, damn”

ur entire being goes WEE WOO WEE WOO

u literally almost choke on nothing and you just cough to try to play it off

hyunjin is having none of it

he's laughing his ass off

“wow that got you better than i expected”

“fuck off hwang”

he stands up to leave and u laugh and grab his sleeve

he's giggling before he even sits again

y'all eat ur ramen and chat more about school and hobbies

he tells u about this one time he almost got admitted into a cult

you: wow… pretty AND dumb

hyunjin, flustered: h-hey!

you tell him about how your cat is a rescue and his heart melts

there's a minute where you're staring at nothing in the distance eating chips

and hyunjin is just staring at you

his brain: hoe dont do it

his heart: doki doki

his brain: oh my god

“hey… are you still free all day?”

u look at him. “yeah, why?”

he opens a bag of gummies. “i'm supposed to meet up with some friends to go bowling in like an hour but i wanna keep hanging out. wanna come?”

you groan. “i'm so bad at bowling”

“we can be on a team,” he offers you a gummy bear and you take it. “i'll carry you.”

pls explain why an image of him holding you bridal style popped into ur head sgdhhf

“haha okay. as long as ur friends aren't lame.”

“they are, but i'll be there so it's fine”

“fair enough. i'm in.”

so y'all hop on a bus and head to the bowling alley that (apparently) hyunjin and his buddies frequent

(he's playing pickles with you in the back of the bus and you're giggling so hard that ur struggling to tell him to cut it the fuck out so you don't disturb the people sitting next to you)

((but also feeling his entire body press against you isn't the worst))

you've been to this bowling alley before

it's popular among younger folks because it's cheap lol

the two of you walk in and one of his friends immediately starts yelling

u freeze “dude i thought u said we were gonna be early”

he looked at his phone “we literally are”

this blonde kid is yelling hyunjin's name and ur wide eyed while u follow

“UR LATE”

“I'M NOT”

“IT'S 2:20”

“WE SAID 2:30!!!”

“TELL THAT TO LITERALLY EVERYONE WHO SHOWED UP AT TWO!!!!!”

hyunjin looks over to the group of his friends already bowling a game “oh”

u bust out laughing

hyunjin gets all flustered like “i-i thought it was 2:30!!!”

“who's ur friend, my perpetually late son”

“o-oh,,, this is y/n”

his friend sticks out his hand for you to shake. “hi, i'm chan. were you the model today?”

you grin “are you saying i look like a model?”

“OKAY!” hyunjin grabs your shoulders and you giggle when chan stutters without responding while hyunjin drags you to the counter to rent shoes and pay for a game

hyunjin is: flustered

he's all embarrassed because he was late and got yelled at by his fake dad

and then u went and,,,, u were so smooth with chan

he wondered if you had been flirting with him all morning because you actually liked him or,,, ur just a flirt

he grabbed your wallet out of your hand and shoved it in his pocket so that he could pay for your shoes and game for you.

“hyunjin!!!!!”

“you wouldn't let me buy you food and you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me if you argue i swear i'll throw you down a lane”

you pout but you let him pay

and ur heart,,, it goes off, dude

like,,,, maybe,,,,,,, u would let him throw you sgdgshsh

y'all walk over to the lane his friends are on, bowling shoes in hand

“y/n!”

your face lights tf up. “seungmin!!”

hyunjin looks between the two of you probably six times while you hug before finally going “w-what”

you and seungmin look at each other, then at hyunjin

hyunjin: you know each other

you and seungmin, in sync: photography club

hyunjin: alright, well,

he announces to everyone your name and you were his new best friend and that if any of them had a problem with it they could talk to his fist

you, softly, but with feeling: f-fuck

y'all change your shoes and watch as his friends finish up their game

while they play, hyunjin points each person out and tells you their name, helping you learn all these new people

since u guys were twenty (20) minutes late, they were already almost done with the first game

they were all pretty good.

well. most of them were.

the guy hyunjin pointed out as jisung kept getting gutter, but he was having fun

everyone else kept getting strikes or spares and u were like oh god

you keep telling hyunjin that ur really bad at bowling

hyunjin: i'll teach you. it'll be like ghost.

you, softly, but with more feeling: f-fUck

you, realization washing over you: wait how would you even-

hyunjin: *giggles*

hyunjin's giggles.

send tweet.

the entire time you were entirely too conscious of how close he was to you

you could feel the burning on your shoulder, thigh, knee - all the contact points where his body bumped into yours

your knee bobbed involuntarily while you watched the game end, nervously anticipating your turn to hit the gutter

and suddenly, hyunjin's hand was gently placed on your knee

it stopped bobbing

you looked at his hand, then at him

he smiled, but kept looking forward

“relax. even if you're bad, i'll hype you up.”

it was barely above a whisper so you wondered for a sec if he was even talking to you

hhhhHHHHH THIS BOY

yall start bowling.

he was. not all talk.

like who the fuck is good at bowling

hyunjin, apparently

he fuckin. chucked that ball down the lane

it made a smooth curve and took out. every. pin.

you stared at the empty lane in disbelief as hyunjin got a couple high fives from his friends making his way towards you

"not bad, right?"

"bro what the fuck"

he laughed and held out a hand to help you up "we bowl a lot"

you didnt even process fully that he was pulling you out of your seat because it was your turn.

ur hands: sweaty

ur arms: spaghetti

ur vomit: on ur sweater already

not actually

u picked up the ball hyunjin had helped you pick and looked at him like a deer in headlights

"bro i havent bowled since i was six"

he giggled. "you can do this"

he walked with u and showed you his starting stance, gently adjusting the way your wrists twisted and patting your hip

u. tried to not blush. no word on how well you did.

he guided you through your walk up and when u let go of the ball..

…

……

YOU DIDNT HIT GUTTER

you SCREAMED

"BRO I HIT A PIN!!!!!!!!!!!!"

hyunjin gave you a Sick High Ten, laughing "now you gotta hit the other nine!"

you froze

fuck

the others were starting to calm down from the excitement of your first half-frame, anticipating your second hit

you watched your ball return from the lane n went over to grab it

hyunjin looked at you Once and was likr….. is that caspar the ghost

the color had DRAINED from you

u…. u hit a pin…… thats like the best u've ever done

n now you gotta TOP THAT?

"its like dancing," he said suddenly. u looked at him, desperate to hear advice in terms u understood. "even if you can go through the motions, it doesnt necessarily make you good. you have to trust your body to remember the motions, give it a little finesse, and that's when you start to get Really good."

you blinked at him

"was that supposed to be helpful"

"can you Shut the Fuck Up and Bowl"

you took a deep breath, adjusting your stance as hyunjin reminded you of the steps you needed to take

another breath

steps

swing

let go…..

roollllingngg…………

*HIGH PITCHED WAILING*

"I HIT FOUR PINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

hyunjin scoops u up in a hug, spinning you around

ur too busy SCREAMING to register whats happening until he puts you down

u stare at him a second

he stares at you

"GOOD JOB Y/N!!!!!"

you turn to seungmin, who also scoops you into a hug, the rest of the boys crowding around you

you didnt even have a chance to be embarrassed about the weird eye contact you n hyunjin made

or about how. everyone in the bowling alley was staring at you guys.

because like…… suddenly

you just made a bunch of new friends

and one of them

helped you hit a pin for the first time.

and maybe….

he was still holding your hand

and maybe that felt really nice.

#hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #stray kids #skz #stray kids scenario #stray kids imagine #stray kids fluff #hwang hyunjin scenario #hwang hyunjin imagine

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boymeetsweevil · 6 years

Text

Alien!Reader crashing in Jimin’s backyard - brainstorm

Possible Genre: Comedy, Fantasy/Sci-Fi, Smut????

draft word count: 3.2k

Beginning/Context:

1[ (Alien!)You try to get support from superiors to visit earth and make a few human connections and form ambassadorship (is that a word idk) to create allies between people of earth and people of your planet. Superiors reject the proposal, writing humans off as barbaric and saying they have nothing to gain from a relationship with them even after you spent your whole scholarly life researching humans and poring through previous documents collected by other people who were researching them before humans became thoroughly taboo, so your latest knowledge is like 1999??? Funding gets cut off or something so you high jack an observation-pod to continue to study earth but end up crashing it when colliding with space debris. You land in the field one night behind Jimin’s gym in the mall while he’s closing. He investigates because he’s inquisitive, was a boy scout and a bit of a space nerd when he was younger and goes to see what happened. Finds what’s left of you encased in the slightly cracked safety orb that deploys when the pod is going to be destroyed by impact and he uses sheer brawn to crack it open.]

2[To minimize trauma and preserve brain and vital organs, your body takes on a neutral looking gumby-ish form. Still two legs because Earth and your planet and all other planets in that specific cross section of the galaxy are bipedal]

A) Jimin carries you back to his apartment and worries you’re dying because your skin starts changing in reaction to the environment once you’re exposed to the air after he breaks the vacuum seal in the safety pod.

3[the landing takes place around mid-summer???]

Your Appearance/Mannerisms:

4[in your home atmosphere, skin is rubbery opaque seafoam green texture]

B), but with the source material of Jimin’s hands initially after the crash, when your body realizes its no longer in danger, it restarts and adjusts to earth’s atmosphere and uses DNA from Jimin to create a analogous form for you

5[on earth your skin is translucent so can see blood]

6[has adaptive skin, can change at will if have copy source nearby]see 5+ B

7[black stripes appear over skin when aggressive]

8[thick blue pearlescent blood with tons of flakes of silver floating in around from heart]

9[pulse looks like a purple lightning strike when it gets fast enough]

10[a plum heart with silver lining inside that shed into the blood, but is constantly being repaired and regenerated so not to worry] see 8

11[sharp retractable teeth, vertical pupils perches on everything never sits normally EVER]

12?[hates jimin’s cat because Jimin’s cat reminds you of a breed of people from a different part of the galaxy who came and tried to invade your planet about a decade before you were born and your people just barely managed to kick them out recently and so there’s a lot of anti-cat alien sentiment on your planet and even though Jimin’s cat isn’t mean or anything, like its lazy and indifferent towards you but loves jimin, you still flip it the bird once you learn what that means]

13[Can only eat fruit and drink water with like a shit ton of table salt in it.]

14[All bodily fluids contain the silver sparkles although at much finer size than what can see in blood. Spit and sweat are translucent barring the silver and roughly same consistency as that of humans but pee and blood are deep black with the silver flakes] see 8 and 10

First Encounter:

C)You don’t wake up until 3 days later, when your body has finished completely reacting. When you wake up, he’s coming through his front door with groceries and you make really tense frightened eye contact for a super long time until he finally just shuts his bedroom door and sleeps on the couch. You thinks he’ll kill you because his muscles indicate he’s a warrior on his planet and you’re indeed trespassing (so like why not kill you amirite???). When you learns he’s peaceful, you walk up to him and slowly put your (new)thumbs in the center of his forehead to gain access to his thoughts and learn his language. He can feel you in his mind, inexplicably. First thing you says is “why do you think about breeding so much”.

First Meal on Earth:

D)Later you ask if he’s instead a breeder, because his voice is good for mating calls. He says no...but like confused. During the first few days you’re really weak and starving and he tries to give you so many things but you throw them up every time until he gives you a mango ( because he HATES them and he’s been trying to get rid of it since he bought it to try it and see what the fuss was about but, didn’t like it). And you don’t throw it up so he tentatively tries giving you broccoli and you throw it up, but he has some bananas he bought recently and you eat all of those and follow him around the kitchen but don’t talk (obvi) and soon you get really dehydrated and you’re like “take me to your ocean, human” and he’s like “the ocean is hours away what about this”. And he does some major googling and then wordlessly goes to the kitchen and dumps a half cup of salt in a gallon of water and shakes it for a while and then hands it to you and you tentatively sip at it and then chug it because THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED.

15[Mating is very simple topic where you come from and nudity isn’t really a thing since you only wear robes during special ceremonies, so you’re very open and always embarrass him by not knocking and/or walking in on him. HOWEVER, mating is also very perfunctory/not anything mindblowing which is why you can be nonchalant about it with him. Intimacy is really different from what it is on earth]

CLothes shopping:

E)The huge elephant in the room is that you’re naked way too often and Jimin is running out of sheets to throw on you whenever you walk into the room completely bare but every time he tries to get you to wear his spare clothes you’re like SORRY I don’t like you like that (see 15) and he’s like??? Just ??wear ?the clothes???? And you’re like still no, so then he goes and buys a wig (because you’re bald lmao i forgot to mention that) for when you both need to go out and makes you wear something so you can go to the thrift store and buy your own clothes because it’s weird that you kiiiiinda look like a woman and you’re naked (and frankly speaking he likes your body). You wear the wig but also skinwarp!!!! and you’re walking around with a wrinkled nose in a goodwill or something and you find some really ugly swimming trunks that probably belonged to a 15 year old boy from the 80’s and they’re oddly shiny and a weird material (but you love it because there is no fashion where you come from that is ever going to be compatible with current aesthetics) and you pick up like 4 pairs and then you see a stack of those dramatic retro shirts with wolves howling on them (or something) and you’re like “wow look at this beautiful artwork” and he’s like…REALLY? But he buys it all quick before you change your mind and now you walk around the house looking like a 10 year old boy in a wolf shirt and plastic-y swim trunks, but you still walk around naked sometimes its just less often.

???:

F)Jimin steps on your bare foot once with his socked foot lightly and you freak out and tell him the equivalent of “you’re not that type of girl” (see 15 + 16)

16[making contact with clothes on is really special and something you do with your betrothed or whatever not between acquaintances. You don’t like the idea of hookup culture because it seems like two people aren’t taking sacred oaths created by the “elder aliens” seriously]

F.5) when Jimin brings a girl home, you act very pitiful for him the next day thinking that she rejected his mating proposal because she went home and he’s like wtf no

17[You learn stupid phrases from earth tv. You love infomercials for their colors and loud voices and the weird ingenuity and often write down the ideas and whisper “I can’t wait to tell my superiors”. You also love watching daytime wine mom soaps.]

?Copmutre:

G)Eventually when you learn to use the computer. You’re still kind of childlike, so Jimin leaves a sticky note on the side of the screen with the url to a soap opera forum and you type with two pointer fingers very slowly the exact same thing on the keyboard every day and you learn to read and write via communicating with people on the forums about the shows

18[that’s the only work-unrelated thing you do on the computer]

G.5)You decide to use this as an advantage to further research and gather enough data to prove that humans are intelligent lifeforms worth allying with. Unfortunately...No technology on earth is advanced enough to record data for your superiors like you need to, though. You try to make do with writing by hand, but you hold a pencil like a dog and write like a two-year-old. Then you try to make observations using a fountain pen because it looks like the recording device you used back home. but obvi that doesn’t work :/

Gym :

H)Your muscles are weak and new from having just reformed and from only having walked around his apartment. He suggests you come to his gym one night and have you work out with him. You go but you’re sore the day after and whiny the whole time during.

Meeting Taehyung:

I)Eventually you get bored in the house one day while he’s working from home and you manage to skin-warp yourself into him, although you’re a bit shorter. You all decide that when you get bored you can go out in the streets in his image if you keep it cool. You run into Tae while you’re at a grocery store with money Jimin gave you for fruit, and he’s like “hey bud” and tries to chat you up like you’re jimin and you’re like “who are you” but also think he’s very beautiful and when he touches your shoulder in a friendly manner you squeak and must remind yourself that contact between adults wearing clothes is platonic on earth. You run off without saying anything and he’s like hmmm but doesnt’ think too much of it. When you come home you tell him about it and mention how beautiful Taehyung is and Jimin’s like “he’s okay, I guess” and you’re like “wow you’re not gonna make a move on that?” So you ask him would it be alright for you to court him using Jimin’s image and he says no!!! and you’re like seems like a waste but okay >.>

19[Whenever you go shopping at a new place, you visit the store first and catalogue all their merchandise with your memory and find out things like tax and tip and when you figure out what you need. Then you go to Jimin very seriously and ask for the exact amount down to the 10 won and he obviously never has exact change so he rounds up and gives you like 20 bucks or something and you’re like “wow extra moneys”]

Frog:

J) the first time you see something you want but don’t need is when you see a frog in the window of a pet shop and you fall in love even though it’s actually the ugliest thing and you come to Jimin with big eyes trying to lie about buying more fruit even though you both know you don’t need more (maybe because you just went shopping and you gave him a way bigger number than normal) and he’s like “I know you’re not buying fruit” and you freak out like ‘I thought you said humans didn’t possess non-verbal data transfer abilities’ and he’s like “um well I do, what are you trying to buy” and you’re very ashamed for being caught in a lie so you confess with your head hung in shame ‘a frog’ and he’s like wtf um why don’t you tell me what’s going on and in the end he skypes you from his phone and goes to the pet shop and is like tell me what to do, so you tell him which frog as he angles his phone at the tank and he buys the frog and brings it home and you cry sparkly tears of joy (see 14). You try to name the frog Jimin because “he’s nice” but Jimin is so disgusted by the ugly frog that he’s like lol no what about swamp boy ™ and you’re like “WOW a great idea even though this species would technically not live in a swamp they’re truly found in…”

Computer:

K)After a few months of staying with him, you notice that he starts to get stressed out whenever bills come and you ask him about it and he’s just like “I don’t really make enough to live in this nice apartment and pay off my gym AND support and extra mouth” but he can’t kick you out and he can’t really move to a new place because he lives far enough from the gym as is and you can’t exactly go out and get a job. You feel bad for a while and try and look for answers when you come across an online gambling site. You’re not the best at technology, not like the people you know back home, but you manage to breach the site and find the game’s algorithm and then you ask Jimin to tell you the basics of poker when he gets home and he’s like…um okay I guess and then you basically hack the server so that you can always read what other players have in their decks and see what the computer’s deck look like for each game. After more research, You make a bunch of different accounts and make it so that it doesn’t look like the winnings are being wired to the same bank account even though they are and then win a few high stakes games with each account. Jimin checks his account semi regularly and when he checks it the next time he sees that there’s way more in there than there should be, he gives you a look and you’re like…just go with it and he’s like “...yeah actually. Okay.”

Body:

L)You hear him sing in the shower once he gets comfortable with living with you and you’re so drawn to the sound that you walk into the bathroom and slide open the door to hear better and he’s like what the hell and you’re like what? and then you look down and you’re like “hey, where’s your vagina and what is that thing, it looks like these animals we have back home”. And he’s like trying to be assertive about space but then he’s too curious and he’s like “if you guys don’t have this, how do you mate” and you blush and you’re like um….and then basically describe french kissing and he’s just -.- And then you’re like “wait what is that thing for” and he’s like “…its for mating???? and peeing” and you’re like that thing???? How? And he tells you and you’re like it goes inside???? and so you awkwardly try and take a look at yourself to see how something could go inside you and he’s like go do that somewhere else please and you’re like okay :) and when he gets out of the shower he feels like he should explain himself and he goes to the living room to talk to you he hears you making shocked sounds and is like ok and goes and plays music in headphones really loudly and then 10 moinutes later you come and find him and you don’t have any pants on and you’re like guess what and he’s like maybe we should talk.

Seaon Change:

M)In the fall he packs up his jeep and drives you both out to the field behind the mall where you crashed that night and you walk around so you can get fresh air and chat and he has you bundled up in more ugly kids clothing from the thrift store and he thinks you’re weird but cute.

M.5)Winter comes and you’re not really equipped for it because 1) your body didn’t account for winter when it reformed and 2) it doesn’t really matter anyway because your planet doesn’t get that cold. ever. and you can’t keep sleeping on the couch. Jimin doesn’t have a pullout couch because it’s a nice apartment but minimally furnished for 1 person so there isn’t really space for that. And you’re cold-blooded (sort of) so you become really heat seeking in the cold months, which means you whine about being cold all the time and sit by the tiny radiator for hours at a time until he sits you down and turns on the tv and cuddles you and you’re about to freak about and be like “I’m not your wife” (see 15,16, F) but he calmly talks you down and talks about how humans are social animals and touch is important and this will keep you warm blab la blah and eventually you’re like…okay.

20[In the winter its slower at the gym so he takes more days off which means he takes naps a lot and he can afford to do this with your extra income] see K

Nap:

N)You end up getting in bed one day during a blizzard and you mention that watching the snow outside the window was putting you to sleep and hes like “yeah” cus raining and stuff like fireplaces or snow always put him to sleep and when you get into bed your heart starts beating really fast and you both ignore the implications of that but anyway so your pulse flashes and the lining of your heart sheds more (see 8-10) so its like a blizzard and a thunderstorm combined under your skin and he watches the flow underneath your skin and reaches out to trace it and falls asleep and you fall asleep too and this becomes a pattern after lunch. You both like each other but no one wants to make a move because the alien/human thing feels like it would turn the other off

HankyPanky:

O)You’re watching TV one day and he comes home and sits down and joins you and you see actors kissing on your soap and you’ve watched enough soaps and had THE TALK™ (see 17 and L) so you’re both painfully aware of the tension in the room and your skin is full of silver flakes and flashes (see 8-10) and he kisses you but afterwards you’re like what if I get pregnant!!! (see L) and he’s like…if your new body is made based off human blueprint wouldn’t you get pregnant the human way and you’re like ummm I guess so you wait a few days because that’s how long it takes to show and usually it would mean that your skin would become opaque but it doesn’t and you’re like oh…we can do that all the time then :U

End:

tbc

OKOKOK this is really long and I’ve been sitting on it for so long and IDK like I’m going to try and turn it into a full blown fic but this is still an idea i want to keep so like please respect this for all it is

FYI:

things with numbers in brackets are pieces of context I want to establish to motivate certain vignette thingies

things with letters are the little vignette thingies

both have references to other vignettes or context points as needed to guide me

56 notes · View notes

tellywoodtrash · 7 years

Text

ishqbaaz ep 400 - 404 lb

now, let’s see what fresh hell my idiot children have raised in the one week i left them unsupervised!

ep 400 (30.10.17)

ok you know what, i reallllllly do not care about this lameass shivika plot. i didn’t care one week ago when i was watching in real time, and now one week later, i literally couldn’t give less of a fuck. ugh. already disgruntled at having to sit through this garbage.

YOU FUCKERS SHOULD BE CONCENTRATING ON RIKARA, PAR NAHI, IDHAR BHI APNE AINVAYIII KE ISSUES. HONESTLY. THINK ABOUT SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOURSELVES FOR 4 MINUTES. AND IF YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT YOURSELVES, THINK PROPERLY LIKE NORMAL MARRIED COUPLES, AND GO BANG. GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

ugh ok i really don’t care about anika’s nonsense mental issues when there’s literally so many other problems. fwding this bs.

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas, rikara!!!!!!!!

i am honestly so emosh rn. 😭😭😭

yaaaaaaas baby girl! call him out on his bs!

ok can’t help but feel a little bad for kunal’s kamar in this scene. is it just me or is he ladkhadaayiing a bit?

UGH GTFO SHIVIKA I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU TWO RN UNLESS YOU’RE FUCKING.

anika has legittttttttttttt lost her goddamned mind. honestly, what the fuck have they done to my girl????

IS THIS HONESTLY AN ISSUE???? LIKE???? I CAN’T EVEN WITH THESE TWO ASSHOLES RIGHT NOW. JUST GTFO MY SCREEN BEFORE I RAGE QUIT WATCHING THIS EP.

lmao ok kunal ki saaas phul rahi hai, someone give the poor boy a sec to catch his breath.

YAS GAURI ASKKKKKKKKKKKK HIMMMMMMMM

pffffffft, don’t even talk about shivika’s ishqbaazi rn gauri, coz... i just can’t.

“WOH DONO EK DUSRE KO NEECHA NAHI DIKHAATE KABHI.”

ok someone needs to sit gauri down and tell her all of bade bhaiyya ke puraane paap.

and rudra’s just going snip-happy on ajay’s car like a toddler in crafts class. best.

ok ruvya nonsense is what i care about least in this show so fwd fwd fwd.

this trope of shit getting stuck in each other’s jewelry and what not is literally the worst.

OK RUDRA NEEDS TO BE GIVEN ONE TIGHT SLAP. WHY THE FUCK IS BHAVYA EVEN PUTTING UP WITH THIS BS? SHE JUST NEEDS TO TELL SHIVAAY WHAT’S UP AND GTFO THE STUPID “BOND” CLAUSE.

god i’m just so mad at heterosexuality rn. all these ppl just need to leave each other alone already, coz together, they just make each other and everyone else miserable as fuck.

YAS GAURI. TEAR THAT DUPATTA. FREE YOURSELF FROM THE SHACKLES OF THE HEGEMONIC INSTITUTION THAT IS MATRIMONY IN THE DESI SOCIETYYYYYYYYYYYY

why am i being forced to watch this utter TRASH that is this shivika plot? it’s literally worse than the ruvya plot. #bloodyUNSAHIKKABLE (something for my southie peeps there.)

never thought i’d relate SO MUCH with shivaay during an argument, but hey, here we are. matlab facepalm kar kar ke mera toh mooh hi laal ho gaya hai.

ok what even is this editing? ffs, kuch toh transition effect daalo scenes ke beech mein.

oh gauriiiiiiii, my baby girl, don’t cryyyyyyyyy. mera dillll jaltaaa haiiiiii. i can’t bear to see you like this. 😥😥😥😢😢😢

ok i can’t bear his crying either, but he deserves to cry a little, so dil pe patthar rakh ke seh loongi main.

GOD SRSLY ANIKA YOU NEED TO GROW UP.

great. usko bhi pakad ke taana and issue. shivaay just leave her be. let her go eat something and she’ll calm the fuck down in time and come find you. 🙄🙄🙄

i’m just fwding this garbage, because after EVERYTHING they went though, if she still doesn’t trust him, phir mujhe kuch nahi kehna. honestly, so done with this.

ok just in case i didn’t hate men enough in this episode, ajay’s here to MAKE SURE ki koi kasar reh toh nahi gayi. 😒😒😒

okay fuckkkkk offf shitty ajayyyyyyy, with your crappy unibrow.

OMFG HAATH LAGAAYA, SAALE KAMEENE HIMMAT KAISE HUIIIIII KAAAT KE GANDE NAALI MEIN NA PHENK DOON MAIN

ok this grownass man has been TOLD the issue to his face and he’s still like “idk why she’s mad at me?????” why are men like thisssss?????

god why won’t this shitty ass episode enddddddddddddddd??? 400th episode my ass.

waah, bhavya’s gonna solve the mysteries of the feminine mind for bhaiyya.

lol this little golu molu baby sardar. what a cutie.

this show really nails their casting of kids. highly surprising how all of them are non annoying.

YOU KNOW HOW YOU CAN BRING BACK HER KHOYA HUA CONFIDENCE? BY SEXING HER. SO PLEASE. GET TO IT. MATLAB, TUM AADMI HO YA PAJAMA?!!?!

GOD FINALLLLLLLLLLY THIS DAMN EPISODE IS FUCKING OVER. HALLELUJAH.

ep 401 (31.10.17)

aaaaaaaand golu molu is back.

shivaay, don’t you have enough issues in your life???? ek aur issue ke beech mein taang adaa rahe ho???? go talk to your stupid wife.

... is there a reason he got outta costume for this????

and god the ugly blue filter. hate. HAAAAAAAAATE. WHY DO THEY USE IT EVERY TIME THESE TWO HAVE A SCENE IN THIS LOCATION????? IT’S SO FUCKING UGLY.

man do i haaaave to watch this???? he’s just gonna be all i promise ill love you when you’re old and blah blah blah physical looks don’t matter dil matters and blah blah.

“i’m not trying, i AM cute.”

pffffffffft. ek toh overconfidence ki hadh. you’re not even that cute. doosra, bebe!Anika is this close to taking off her chandni and beating all the cute outta you.

my god i cannot be gladder than i am to be utterly single rn, coz jesus above, being in a relationship looks fucking exhausting. yahaan mujhse apne emotions aur issues jhele nahi jaate, and you have to be deal with someone elses’ neuroses too???? no thanks.

i am baby!sardar and he is me. utterly sick of these ppl and screaming “meri jaan baksh do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

called shivaay’s nonsense speech almost down to the word. not feeling particularly proud about it tho, coz that just means the writing of this show is just thaaaaat thakela.

OMG ANIKA WHICH OTHER WOMAN WOULD EVEN WANT THIS STUPID GODFORSAKEN DEMON OF A MAN?????????? HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF THAT????????? THAT LITERALLY NO OTHER WOMAN IN ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH CAN TOLERATE HIM?????

ok i swear to god rudra needs to get hit by a bus or something. #freeBhavya

WHY WON’T THIS STUPID SCENE END OMG

fwding. don’t care. gimme gauri. NOW. NOWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

OOOOH. WHY’S BULBUL COMING TO OMKI????? is she realising that she’d rather be married to repentant hottie shaayar rather than ugly unibrow handsy fucker???

ok. clue has been given that richa is the reason. use your goddamn brain now, omki.

god his sexyyyyy agony whisper voice. it’s doing things to meeeeeeee. 😍😍😍

haaaaaye his face. be still my beating heart.

of course. ajay is daksh 2.0, but not even half as entertaining.

i miss daksh, man. after svetlana, he’s the most lolz delivering waala villain this show has ever had.

OK WHAT EVEN IS THIS OUTFIT GAURI IS WEARING LORD ABOVE NA SAR HAI NA PAIR, JAANE KAISE TEEN CHAAR CHICHDE JOD DIYE HAI AUR USKO “OUTFIT” BULA RAHE HO

angsty sexyyyyyyyyyyyyy eyes are being maaaaaade. 😭😭😭

and ugly ajay is noticinggg and grinding his teeth all shivaay-style.

ughhhhh ajay you’re the fucking worst. i really fucking hope the oberois go to town on you and repeatedly kick you in the nuts.

ok shivaay’s outfit has actually made me go blind and i’m now watching this episode with my mann ki aankhein. 😣😣😣

shivaay still can’t understand the concept of consent and free will. honestly, i think this idiot needs to have the point beaten into him.

aisi time par bhi isko shayari sooj rahi hai. emo!maxxxxx only my son is.

“mujhse vaada karo hum aur kuch nahi karenge.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BOY DO YOU NOT KNOW YOUR OBEROI KIN AT ALL??????? SHAADI KHUD KI HO YA KISI AUR KI, TAMASHA TOH KARNA HI HAI!

omfgggggggg anika, COZ PYAAAR (woh bhi aisa ek number ka ghatiyaaaa “pyaar”) ISN’T EVERYTHING IN LIFE OK????

ok anika just don’t give a fuck anymoreeee.

aaaaaaaaaaaaand the wig is offfff.

why’s gauri shocked? she fully knew anika was here? they slept in the same bed???

ajay is the shivaay of bareilly. all authoritative and shouty and shiz. pity that the real shivaay is here, and about to teach him how it’s really done.

LMAO MAAAAAAAAAA IS LIKE “I DIDN’T KNOW NOTHING! MAIN TOH ALLAH MIYAAN KI GAAAIII HOON!!” 😂😂😂😂

shivaay’s having a haaaaaard time controlling himself. teeth grinding and eye rolling to the max.

lololololololol looks like ajay’s maa itself shall be cockblocking him.

“THA NAHI. HOON.”

daaaaaaaaaayum son!

LMAO SHIVAAY’S FACE LIKE “I TRIED, MAN. I TRIED.”

styyyyyylish and tadi-filled removal of pagdis and wigs.

god kunal, tumhe koi haq nahi banta ki tum itne khoobsurat lago. NOT FAIR! 😫😫😫😫

lol nakuul’s champu hair, compared to the other two’s faaaaaahbulous, totally-unaffected-by-pagdi hair.

obligatory ‘haaye my beautiful boys!’ waala shot. 😍😍😍

gauri be like WHY ARE MY SASURAAL WAALE SUCH FREAKSSSSSSSSSSSSSS OMG

EP 402 (01.11.17)

LMAO like whaaaaaaaat trip is ajay even on? she’s HIS wife, not yours. what “cheeeen lega” and all??? kuch bhi. chal hatt, chutiya kahinka.

can’t wait for obros to hand ajay’s ass to him. coz he’s quite honestly asking for it.

hee hee hee, i shall always get a kick outta shivaay jumping men who have like at least half a foot on him and trying to fight them. my smol fighty baby.

OMFG OMKARA KO CHAANTA. AB TOH NAHI BACHEGA TU BETA. AB TOH TICKET KATAA HI LE WAAPSI KI.

WHY’S RUDRA STOPPING SHIVAAY???? BRO, YOU’RE SUPP TO JUMP AJAY TOO???? MY GOD, NIKKAMMA KA NIKAMMA ONLY THIS IDIOT BOY IS. WHEN YOU GONNA START PULLING YOUR DAMN WEIGHT AROUND HERE, ASSHOLE???????????????

awwww man shivaay’s face is making me cryyyyyyyyyyyyyy. 😭😭😭😭

OMG OMG OMGGGGGGGG BULBUL CALLING OUT TO BADE BHAIYYE #MYBROTPLIVES #shivriHameshaAmarRahe

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAS BITCCCCCCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

ab baby bulbul ne aadesh diya hai tohhh...

lol bulbul’s bloodlust will not be satisfied with just the one obro. she wants them ALL to go to town on these bareilly bastards. and that’s allllllllll the encouragement hubs needs.

how awesome is this shot of bulbul and her three protectors tho! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

gimme some shots of anika and bhavya kicking ass too plz???

ugh no, they’re relegated to cheerleaders. how lame.

LMAO GAURI’S HAPPINESS AT THE CHAOS, FADING AWAY AT RICHA/MUKESH’S WTF FACES HAHAHAHA

shivaay’s like bro i’ve had enough of this small town bs. can we gtfo here pls?

god i realllllly hate gauri’s outfit. it’s drowninggggg her tiny frame.

“hum waapas nahi jaa sakte.”

lmao everyone’s faces like “behen itna maar dhaar karne se pehle nahi bol sakti thi???? phukat mein energy waste.”

i really love how shivaay is having waaaaaaay more of a devastated reaction than om at gauri not coming back.

protip to shivaay: just legally adopt gauri (like you did sahil), so she’ll be your sister no matter what the fuck goes on in the rikara marriage.

... we’re back in OM?

oh yes we are. unless shivaay authoritatively makes hot chocolate for ppl in others’ kitchens as well.

ok that sleeved vest looks really bad under THAT kurta, shivaay.

shivaay, ever heard of giving someone (anyone!) personal space? no? ok cool.

CAN A MAN ANGSTILY MOPE IN THE DARK ABOUT HIS WIFE MARRYING SOMEONE ELSE IN PEACE? PLEASE???!?!?!!!!!!

heavy vibes of post-ishaana kadhi-chawal scene no?

still one of my eternal fave obro scenes. (“main iss baare mein baat nahi karna chahta!” *talks about it for 2 hours*)

“hota hai.”

haan is ghar mein toh aksar hota hai, ki biwi kisi aur se shaadi karne chali jaati hai, lekin NORMAL LOGON KE SAATH aisa nahi hota.

oh boyyyyyy, shivaay ke khurafaati dimaag mein idea.

meanwhile gauri is doing full intezaam of bhaagna from there.

gosh gauri, since when are you such a terrible liar???

maa is doing everything she can to cover bitiyaa’s ass. love it.

ajayyyyy doesn’t even wanna marry her???? then why’s he so insistenttttt?????

STOP LYING TO HER SHIVAAY. FOR FUCKS SAKE HAVE YOU LEARNTTTTTTTTT NOTHINGGGGGG. GOD.

“shankar ji apni chiraiyya ka dhyaan rakhlenge.”

YUP. IN THE FORM OF BADE BHAIYAAAAAA. WHO’S FLYING OVER AS WE SPEAK TO SAVE HIS BABY BIRD.

omg how daaaaaaare he LIE TO HER FACE LIKE THIS. BITCH, ONE. YOU A HELLA SUCKY LIAR. AND TWO. SHE KNOWS YOUR DUMB ASS BETTER THAN YOU KNOW YOURSELF.

“WE GOT OURSELVES A BULBUL TO KIDNAP.”

god this asshole really going to fucking kidnap gauri. srsly, it’s like he learned nothing from his first wedding.

“yaar hum raat ko ghee lene jaa rahe hai????”

LOLOLOL

fuck, my hearttttttttttt. god i love these stupidass boys so much.

ooooooooooh gauri is overhearinggggg.

YAAAAAAAAAS BULBUL YOU BEAT THE F OUTTA THIS ASSHOLE.

pffffffffft, oh nowwwww she wants to call omkiiiiiii.

of course he won’t pick up. girl, this is why you should depend on no man.

ugh the cgi for the helicopter is so terrible.

lol gauri has emptied her whole wardrobe into making escape waali rassi. she’s seen golmaal (puraana waala, not the chutiya new ones) one too many times i think.

pffffffffffft waise toh bada kidnapping ka plan bana raha tha??? karne ka time aaya toh shivaay is just standing there frozen and other two just pushed him to side and moved on.

LMAO HER INNER MONOLOGUE I LOVE GAURIIIIIIIIIII SO MUCH

LOLOLOLOL HE WAS GONNA BUST INTO A SHER AND RUDRA’S FRUSTRATION

“YEH KAISA AADMI HAI???? BHAABI MUBARAK HO, HUM AAPKO KIDNAP KARNE AAYE HAI.” LMAOOOOOOOOOO

be still my beating heart! 😍😍😍😍

omfg ommmmmmmmmm you idiot her headdddddddddd!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand great. ajay and minions are here. ugh.

obros exchanging “it’s go time!!!!!!” faces.

wow. that was hella easy.

ep 403 (02.11.17)

wow, gauri still hasn’t regained consciousness? maybe you shoulda taken her to a doctor for a ct scan or something first.

“bhaiyya, aur koi illegal kaam karna hai ya main sone jaaon?” LMAO

anika’s detective dimaag is on during half-sleep also. AMAZING.

but never fearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! billu’s here to romance it outta her. haaaaaaye.

ugh. fuck these two ridiculously attractive assholes who won’t bang and insist on killing me with sexual tension.

uh ohhhhhhhh, billu made a boo boo! wife is on to him!

omg look how tiny shrenu’s feeeeet are!

ugh my heart. can these two just be happy now... pleaseeeee. they’re the life raft i have to tie myself to now that shivika are... just... idk what.

snort. fucking idiot.

“japan mere zehen main hai kyunki it’s my favt. country. wahan ki jo mount fuji hai na, it’s a really good mountain! mujhe wahan ka khaana bhi bohut pasand hai!”

LMAO WHAT IS THIS A NIBANDH HE WROTE FOR INTERNATIONAL DAY AT SCHOOL?????

omfggggg “sabudaana vada khaaya hai tumne japan ka???” hahahahahahaha

I NEED SPACE?????? BITCH GO MAKE AN OBEROI COLONY ON MARS THEN. BADA AAYA SPACE MAANGNE WAALA.

IDGI???? WHY CAN’T YOU JUST TELL HER GAURI’S IN THE HOUSE???? WHAT DOES IT EVEN MATTER?????

goddddd anika, why must you discuss all your marriage matters with some other person????

lol anika calling bhavya out on knowing rudra wasn’t home last night haha

ouffffff anika, you really need to get a hobby. like, take up watercolours. or knitting. maybe get a pet. horseriding?you need SOMETHING to distract you from the fuckery that is this house and your weirdass marriage.

LMAO RUDRA “usually kidnapping ke baad phiroti ke liye call karte hai. main karoon kya???”

“BIWI HAI MERI, GHADDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 😂😂😂😂

“we have to keep it under wraps”... MAYBE START BY CLOSING YOUR DAMN DOOR?!?!!?!?

lolololol man i’m loving the return of omRu scenes. i reallyyyyy missed these two together.

OMFG OM EK TOH SHE’S UNCONSCIOUS UPAR SE YOU’RE WRAPPING HER AND STASHING HER IN A CUPBOARD????

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand the sisters are here. with their shak waali nazrein.

the face on an honest man who isn’t lying his pants off. amazing.

oh hooooooo anikaaaa, you’re so annoyinggggg when you get like this.

pfffffffft. brothers are here. ab hoga tamasha.

LMAO AND TAMASHAAA IT IS. THE WAY HE FAINTED ONTO THE BED HAHAHAHAH

ouff the amount of nautanki.

LMAO THE WAY HE GOT UP ALL FINE AND THEN REMEMBERED HE WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE AND FELL AGAIN LOLOLOLOL

lol for first time rudra is doing bagaavat against his eternal master bhaabi

OMFG THE WAY RUDRA JUST PICKED HIM UP AND TOOK HIM I AM DYING HAHAHAHAHA

ohhhhh boy she’s going back into om’s room.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand caught!

OMFG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA “DEKHO KAUN AAYA HAI!!!! GAURI! AA GAYI!” HAHAHAHAHHAHHA I AM FUCKING DYING OMG HAHAHAHAHA

ok, what exactly is anika’s problem here? she also wanted gauri to come back? matlab... i really don’t get her newfangled issues these days.

kabhi nahi socha tha ki yeh din bhi dekhne padenge where i’d be on shivaay’s side during arguments. waah re prabhu, teri leela.

gauri’s having a legit “main kahaaan hoon?” moment.

great anika has taken her lecturebaaazi outside to the devars. she’s really getting on my last nerve these days.

like i get her point and all, but behen, tum apne buddhi waale dhong se kaunsa usko izzat-o-aabroo se lene gayi thi???? matlab kuchhhhh bhi.

lmao anika ki toh tain tain phisssssssssssss ho gayiiii.

and lolololol look at this idiot boy who’s not even hugging her back, he’s just like OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO SOMEONE TELL ME?!?!!?!?!

lmao shivaay’s look of triumph. he’s literally likeeeee

ouff ok gauri, heavy on the mythological references this early in the morning.

lmaoooo shivaay knocking om on the back for the patti thing. matlab, when sso thinks you’re being a little extra, know you’ve gone truly overboard.

ugh ok she forgave him already??? itnaaa bhi lightly nahi jhaadna tha matter ko.

anika be like behen, y u no tell plan? ainvayiiii mein moral science lecture diye phir rahi thi.

ok i really thought the anika learns about gauri title was about the chutki secret, but siiiiiiiiigh.

aaaaaand these two are fighting.

“aise hi rehna hai???? sudharna nahi hai???”

lol 1 crore ka sawaal pooch diya tumne anikaaaa

god you two, this relationship is fucking exhausting and i’m just a passive witness to it. I CAN’T EVEN IMAGINE BEING IN IT.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND THERE GO THE PHONES.

ep 404 (03.11.17)

servants of the house be thinking ‘itne din se kitchen achcha khaasa saaf-sutra tha. lo aa gaye phir gandh machaane.’

godddddddddddddd rudra’s besura singing.

shivaay’s being hella relatable these days.

ok i really don’t like this shakki biwi nonsense of anika’s. like, stop ruining my girl pls.

awwww my chiraiyya and her bhaujai.

um, why is this person dressed literally in pinky’s clothes???

ok i don’t caaaaaaaaare about this nonsenseeeeee. fwding.

what even is happening?? you two have been married for like 3 hours and are still fucking up on a minute by minute basis. bade aaye rudra ko marriage advice dene waale.

I HATE THIS GARBAGE TROPE OF MEN IN DRAG ON INDIAN TV. DAMN YOU KAPIL SHARMA FOR STARTING THIS NONSENSE. A PLAGUE UPON YOUR (ILLEGALLY CONSTRUCTED) HOUSE!

lol shivaay and om inspecting the custard in the bg as if it’s some huuuuge lab experiment or something.

..... god anikaaaa, you’re a fucking idiot.

lmao bhavya’s such an enabler.

ouffff gauri, not you toooooooooooo.

anika idiot, custard toh lekar bhaagti.

he’s not gonna catch her. and this is gonna create a huge big raita. *siiiiiiiiiigh*

calllled it.

bhavya, my sweet, please find yourself a better man. you deserve sooooooooooo much better.

OMFG SHIVAAY PUT THE FUCKING PLATE DOWN. FUCKING IDIOT.

GOD THIS IS THE STUPIDEST PLOT EVER ITS FUCKING 4 AM WHY AM I WATCHING THIS GARBAGE

NOWWWWWWWWW WE TALKINGGGGGG 😏😏😏😏

oooooooooooooooh the chutkiiiiiiii photooooooooooooooo.

SHE’S IN THE SAME HOUSE WITH YOU. SHE’S MISSED YOU TOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BABIESSSSSSS!!!! MY TWO GIRLSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

EVERY TIME I THINK OF THEM BEING SISTERS FOR REAL, MY HEART OVERFLOWS WITH FEELS

abbe, seedha seedha custard deke jaa na; yeh senti waala lecture kisko sunna hai.

that custard is fucking LIQUID. matlab, set hone tak toh sabrrr karta bro????

GOD I HATE THIS NONSENSE OF THE GIRL SAYING SOMETHING WHEN SHE MEANS SOMETHING ELSE. I KNOW WE DO THIS SHIT A LOT BUT WE REALLY GOTTA STOP. MEN DON’T UNDERSTAND IT THE WAY OTHER GIRLS DO. THEY JUST DON’T. SO STOP IT.

“400 episode ho gaye lekin anika abhi bhi yehi keh rahi hai ki SHIVAAAAY AAAP KYAAAA KAR RAHE HAI???”

i would laugh at the meta but i am too angry that you haven’t as much as made outttttttt yet. what the everlovingggg fuckkkkkkk. you ppl better bang before ep 500 so help me god. SO HELP ME GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ouffffff rudra, ever heard of personal space? you’re the worst. dafaaaa ho!

oh haaaaaaaaaai abhayyyyyy, you hotass demonchild. how you been???? actually, fuck you, where’s my girl tanya and how’s she been????

THIS IS LITERALLY DOODH AND JAM THAT HE’S FEEDING HER. LIKE.... IT’S ANNOYINGGGGG ME YOUGAIZ. IT’S ANNOYING ME SO MUCH.

dayummmm, omki making sex eyes at wife. will i get my tharak fulfilled here first????? will omki shomki and chutki maarofy baazi first?!?!?!

OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!! I JUST MIGHTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!! 😯😯😯

OMG FUCK YOU RUDRA MAY YOU NEVER HAVE ANOTHER ORGASM IN YOUR LIFE EVER AGAIN YOU STUPID COCKBLOCKER 😡😡😡😡

lmaooooo om’s glee when rudra finally left. i love this idiot child so much.

UGH BAATEIN?!?!?!!? WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT BAATEIN?????GET BACK TO THE MAKING OUTTTTTTTTTTTT YOU STUPID NERDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#ishqbaaz #ishqbaaaz #ib episode liveblogs #episode liveblogs

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johnlarens · 7 years

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my great comet experience (act i + intermission)

okay so I wrote a lot so it’s gonna be split into two posts and I’ll edit this and provide a link to act two!

BEFORE THE SHOW

- So where you stand in line waiting be let in (and where you pick up your tickets) is decorated in Russian propaganda to make it look like a war bunker/safe house! And on one of the doors it says “strobe lights and haze!” (a pre warning for the show I believe?) with a hammer and sickle underneath it

- the theater is so beautiful

- decorating the walls were tons of russian paintings and my god it was absolutely stunning - okay so the lady who showed us to our seats was hilarious!!! My mom and I spent a good chunk of our time before the show talking to her- her name was Marylin! She was a cranky old lady who took her job so seriously but hey, she’s quick and efficient and I liked her! - okay so Brad Giovanine came around with dumplings and was like “who wants dumplings!” and honestly, i don’t think I’ve ever shot my hand up so fast

- i was the first one to get a dumpling in my section,,,,i feel blessed - Brad came back around and started telling us about the strobe lights and all! But the other cast member who was talking the section in front of me was all: “if strobe lights bother you then just close your eyes!” *closes his eyes* still to bright? *covers his eyes with his hand" - when the show started war sirens aired and it was such aN AMAZING TOUCH MY GOODNESS!!!! - And then the announcer with a deep Russian accent goes: “ladies and gentlemen, attention please! Cellphones!” - Cast: NYET! - announcer: texting! - Cast: NYET! - And one guy who was sitting in the section in front of me STILL had his phone out???? Even when the cast in my row pointed to him!!!!! - Announcer: googling? - Cast: NYET!

- Announcer: tweeting, photos, videos!

- Cast: NYET! NYET! NYET! - Announcer: no talking during the show! Violators are moved to security guards and KGB. Repeat offenders are sent to Siberia.

PROLOGUE - during the sick accordion provided by Pierre there’s a heart wrenching ‘NO!’ from Natasha as she’s seeing Andrey off to war - Andrey gives her a golden necklace and places it around her neck before going off through #the door - “what about Pierre?”

PIERRE - “I used to be better” he’s so upset with himself and who he his - he’s so sad and he hates himself and I love Pierre so much - “I’m married but not in love” the light shines on Hélène who’s looking down at him - “he is charming! he has no sex!” the ladies dance around him in a circle almost as if they’re making fun of him :-( - “you empty and stupid, contented fellows, satisfied with you place!” he makes a sharp turn and practically jabs his finger at Anatole - he just wants to do more and be more and do SOMETHING with his life I love him

MOSCOW - Natasha and Sonya are dressed in pretty white coats and hand warmers I love them - Grace McLean played such an amazing Marya, she looked to happy to see them - “then a game of Boston, and you’ll read to me while I knit!” Natasha and Sonya look so,,,,shook and 'no thanks’

THE PRIVATE AND INTIMATE LIFE OF THE HOUSE - those in favor of keeping Mary away from Prince Bolkonsky and loving her forever say 'I’ - As Bolkonsky is yelling at Mary she shrinks away in fear and is shaky - Andrey’s father was hilarious (minus the yelling at Mary part - “Everyone enjoys me” and he nods to an audience member - when he pats his powdered wig powder flies in the air ajdbdkdbdk - Abskdbdk this man is so shaky as he wobbles about the stage - And his servant,,,,honey I’m cackling he’s shuffling around the stage, bent over in the shape of an L

NATASHA AND BOLKONSKYS - Natasha’s 'hello’ to Marya is too abskdbdkd the way Denée delivers this line is so humorous - “says the mean old man in his underthings!” I cackled - as Natasha tries to leave, Marya follows her about the stage :-( she just wants a friend

NO ONE ELSE - natasha misses and loves Andrey so much I cry - the blue is so beautiful Denée is so beautiful I love her and her voice - the fake snow is such a nice gentle touch - Standing at the bottom of the steps, Andrey is reading (I’m assuming) Natasha’s letters and looking off in the distance, probably eager to get to her - Close to the end of the song, Andrey starts to walks off and Natasha chases after him before coming to a stop - At the end she positions herself next to an audience member and says “maybe he came today and he’s sitting the drawing room, and I simply forgot” :-( she misses him so much - but that doesn’t last for long :/

SUNDAY MORNING - when Sonya and Natasha do the candle in the mirror and Natasha sees a man lying down, she looks away, but the ensemble member that’s holding the mirror, follows her for a moment. Excellent touch - after Marya finds out how rude Bolkonsky was to Natasha she got SUPER angry and stormed off - and abskdbdk as Natasha is getting undressed, Hélène walks in and it’s gay time

CHARMING - Natasha is so shy and blushy when Hélène compliments her it’s so cute - for a little bit Natasha struts around in Hélène’s green coat and she looks so tiny in that big furry thing my goodness - When Hélène says “you will be the prettiest there” Pierre nods - When Hélène takes off the necklace that Andrey gave Natasha, and replaces it with her string of pearls, she dumps Andrey’s necklace on Pierre who fiddled with it and is like “what am I supposed to do with this??” until placing it on his desk - “She knows that I’m engaged, yet she talks to frankly, so it must me alright :-)” my mom called Natasha a dingbat and I snorted

THE OPERA - “Natasha smooth your gown” she looks so offended when they say that, my poor girl!! - I’m not sure what it symbolizes (or if it’s just part of the outfit), but as Natasha is saying how she’s not a little girl anymore, she puts on some lacey white gloves and they’re so pretty I love Denée so much I’m so gay - okay let me just take the time to say just how much I love Dolokov???? I’d let him assassinate me - before offering his hand for an audience member to kiss it- he kisses his own hand ajdbdidbdk, and then kisses her hand - “-Pierre the cuckold sits at home, the poor man!” from his desk, Pierre does a 'raise the roof’ motion before saying that he’s enjoying himself at home - Natasha is so enchanted by Hélène before Marya comes over and talks about Pierre before pulling Natasha away and brushing away Hélène - The satanic hooded figures??? A mood. The strange performers??? A big mood - Natasha’s response to the opera was hilarious ajsbdkfn first she’s roasting it then she’s praising it saying it’s the best thing ever - When Anatole enters through the door striking in different poses with the bass I nut right there right in my seat - Andrey’s guts spilling out is a good representation of me nutting over the intensity of this song

ANATOLE AND NATASHA

- first off Anatole is a soggy crocodile and needs to stay away from Natasha >:-(

- Natasha is feeling herself when she knows Anatole is enchanted with her - “when looking into his eyes I am frightened.” Natasha them kinda runs away from Anatole to try and regain herself - abskdbfkfbfkfbf kkay when Anatole grabs Natasha and kisses her on the neck, it’s so loud wtf it was a real deal kiss like, I bust a nut for that shit - when Anatole takes Natasha’s flower she looks so offended like girl!! - Anatole and Natasha’s kiss was,,,,,w ow

THE DUEL - so many strobe lights. so many colors. so amazing!!!!!!! - the ensemble was amazing oh my goodness - Grace McLean in the suit and the whip………dare I say…….mommy - when Pierre refers to Natasha as 'dear andrey’s betrothed’ Anatole shrugs and makes a 'yeah, sure, whatever’ kind of face while doing the so-so motion with his hand - “ I have known her family for years, and long carried affection for her” he puts his hand over his heart - when Anatole asks for 50 rubles Pierre coughed up a wad of cash, hands Anatole 50 and just leaves the rest (which is way more that (50 rubles) in his other hand, only to have Anatole take the larger sum of money from his right hand ! - again,,,,I love Dolokov he just saunters on in with a tray of glasses and starts pouring drinks - some (most?) of the ensemble had those light up bottom sneakers and were dressed like teens at their first rave it was cute! - pierre was drinking through the first good couple lines of it and he’s a funny + sad drunk - when Pierre is proclaiming his 'I used to love I used to be better!’ the demeanor in which he shouts it is so heartbreaking and hélène’s response is so twisted and gnarled - Dolokov is feeling all up on hélène and then they kinda made out and pierre EXPLODES - After Pierre realizes that he’s actually hit Dolokov he looks absolutely - during Dolokov’s turn to fire at Pierre, Pierre stand there arms wide open, head hanging low, waiting to be shot, and when Dolokov fires and misses, Pierre just stand completely still for a good couple moments, before realizing he’s alive - Anatole is so fucking andkdbdkbfkf as he’s saying “we love to love another day” he’s like……prancing around aND HE GIVES PIERRE FINGER GUNS until he goes off stage I’m!!!

DUST AND ASHES - I said it once and I’ll say it again: Scott was an AMAZING PIERRE - When Pierre goes “and if I die here tonight-” he picks up the gun that he used to duel Dolokov with and fiddled with it for a bit, “-I die in my sleep” and my heart broke - he’s so upset that he just slams down his book when he talks about not knowing a thing - “was a happiness within me the whole time?” he’s finally realizing that he can be who he wants to be - “they say we are asleep until we faALL iIN LOOOOOOoOoVVVVE! aaAND II’M SO REEeAADY, TO WAAaaaAAKE UuuuUUP NooOooOOWW” let me tell you I was fucking close to tears - when the song ended the crowd went crazy it was truly stunning

- i love scott

THE BALL - “Oh how I adore little girls, they loose their head at once!” Anatole you little nasty soggy crocodile get away from Natasha!!!!!! >:(((( - when Anatole presses Natasha’s arm and she says that he’s hurting her I wanted to bite Anatole’s hand off :/ - the kiss they have is insane like, it felt like it lasted forever like……..how they breathin???? - “I love you. how else could we have kissed? How else could this have happened?” - “I wiiillll loooove youu, Anatoooole,” Denée’s voice……………me? bust a nut? yes. - Abskdbfkf Anatole does a 'hell yeah! good job, anatole’ face after she says that and I……

INTERMISSION

- not much to comment about during intermission, i just stretched my legs some and walked to the merch table

- i wanted to buy a shirt but lmao i spent all my money on the ticket

- when the three minute warning was called, the war sirens sounded and it was so amazing

okay so that was part one of my great comet experience! get ready for part two (act ii and stagedoor)

#my post #the great comet

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sambart93 · 6 years

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2018.01.07 Tomito Sho’s 36th Birthday Event - Second Show [Report]

So I got the opportunity to go to Tomita Sho’s birthday again which I was super happy about! I went last year too!

If you don’t know Shosan (as I call him), but he’s such a good actor. He’s been in quite a bit of big stuff (Super Sentai, TouStage etc.) but he’s never the main but he is DAMN good at what he does! I highly recommend his Honno no Mirage series and Toei Hero from last year! He’s in the same Ent Company as Aramaki Yoshihiko, Baba Ryoma, Tamaki Yuki etc and he’s SUCH a great guy! Anyway, I’ll stop blubbing. Onto the event!

But first things first:

HAPPY 36TH BIRTHDAY TOMITA SHO!!!

PRE-SHOW

I did kinda feel like I was imposing because it was very obvious a lot of the fans know each other, especially one older lady; I’ve seen her at ALL of the Shosan stuff I’ve been to (Honoo, TokiEnta Events, His Birthday) and I feel like she doesn’t like me. As if she sees me and thinks ‘ugh this casual fan’. It was so strange this day because it was like she was the MC; she was going around and knew and was talking to pretty much everyone! Also I felt really bad because by coincidence I ended up being right next to where the line to go in was by chance and I almost asked if she wanted my spot but I felt she was giving me death stares.

Also, I always forget how much older (than me) the Shosan fans are… not many early twenties or under 30s here and a few always bring their kids along. It’s so interesting seeing the difference between Sho’s fans and Maki’s fans. Also I much prefer just how small of a group Sho’s fans are compared to the ridiculousness of Maki’s fanbase now (but we’ll save that rant for another day).

Just before the show started, the Shachou (he owns and runs TokiEnta, Sho’s entertainment company) came on stage with Sho’s eye mask on and green wig from the school PE uniform bromides (more about that later) and explained the rules of the show, but because he ahd the eye mask on, he couldn’t see which was he was facing (obviously the wrong way) and Sho came over the speaker and went 'you’re facing the wrong way’ we all cracked up laughing including the Shachou himself.

Also one of the the producers had ALL of Sho’s bromides and chirashi stuck to his jacket, shirt and hands. So he was a walking advertisement for Sho xD also he was the time keeper for the show.

GOODS COMMENT

Unfortunately I had already made the decision to ONLY pay for a cheki but I was super upset when I saw how amazing his bromides and calendars!! Seriously, he’s got a school kids PE uniform on and bright green hair in some of his bromdes! He teased about his bromides weeks ago and it was shots of him in different coloured wigs but damn when I saw he also did a school one! I died! Seriously Sho’s Bromides are amazing! I hope TokiEnta do their (what seems to be an) annual ritual of having an event where the past goods stock is there so I can pick them up!

THE SHOW

I lost my breath when Sho came on stage because he came on in this Date-like outfit and he looked amazing!!! He had a long black wig and red eye contacts in too! He looked SO DAMN GOOD!

ANNNND this is why I always go to Sho’s stuff! As usual he was absolutely hilarious and I did nothing but laugh the entire time! Also he’s super laid back! The show was only supposed to be 90 minutes but he’s like 'is everyone okay for time? Yeah? Okay! We’ll just keep going!’ and his producer couldn't stop him nor did he mind so much xD

He got so many birthday videos during the second show; Takasaki Shouta, Maki, Baba Ryoma (Alongside Kawaharada who introduced himself as Chanel xD), Tamaki Yuki, Nakamura Seijiro, and Ino Hiroki. And when they just kept coming, he was like 'ANOTHER?! AGAIN?!’ and of course, with most of the videos, he couldn’t take them seriously!

Baba Ryoma’s was so stupid and was essentially him and Kawaharada promoting their stage to which the video got caught off half way through so we all died laughing, and Sho said ‘what’s he doing now? Mobsaiko 1000? 100? Has anyone seen it? …*no one puts their hand up*… not one hand’ everyone died laughing xD

Ino’s video cracked me up so hard. Ino asked ‘why didn’t you invite me as a guest (to your Birthday Events)? I invited you to mine…… SHO! (no 'san' which makes it super casual and impolite) Let’s hang out next time!’ And Sho was like ‘I can’t invite someone who’s in such a big jimusho (entertainment company)!’ XD

MakiChan’s video was also promoting his stage, Ensemble Stars, and he said 'akemashite omedetou (happy new year)’ instead of 'tanyoubi omedetou (happy birthday)’ xD

Tamachan’s was ‘lets drink next time’ and Shosan is like ‘I don’t even have your number!!’ XD Nakamaru was like ‘I only know drinking Sho so...’ and Sho was like ‘you went to the TokiEnta event with me last Feb! Did you already forget?!’ XD

Shouta was DRUNK during his video to him and he got a random (Sho knows him) guy to pretend to be Shouta while Shouta was behind the camera laughing so hard and Sho was just like 'wtf... why would I ever expect anything from you anyway'

ALSO! Jo-ji (they did TouStage together) turned up half way through the event and yelled ‘I went to the wrong venue!!!’ he first went to the event hall in Shinjuku (of a similar name) and then had to track all the way back to this venue. Also Sho was super surprised when he turned up because Jo-ji had been writing on his twitter that he was still in his home town and Jo-ji went 'yeah, I was lying so I could surprise you. I got back to Tokyo DAYS ago!' Also he brought Sho some Date Masamune Sake (apparently it's sake that Date loves and Jo-ji went all the way to Sendai for it -- I want to try it!). Sho was so funny opening his presents; he threw the wrapping and boxes down like a little excited child.

In usual Sho Birthday Event style, we went through his calendar of 2017 and looked at what he did on different days and what his schedule was like and we could just put our hands up and ask questions, because (and I paraphrase Sho) 'this ain't an event if you don't get involved. It's only interesting because you guys are here'. So here are some of the questions and stories:

*(About TouStage) Apparently GingaGekijyo’s Backstage is tiny compared to the stage used for TouStage in Fukuoka, so during the Fukuoka Kouen Sho was running freely backstage because there was space to between his scenes.

*Sho went and saw PuriStage and said he’d like to be in it because he likes to move around but then saw how tired KishiTaku was and was like ‘nah I’m good’ xD

*Also they talked about the one time Jo-ji made him an American Dog and how good it was. Of course us fangirls were going crazy with our imagination on that one haha

*He showed us a VTR of the Gekidan Handsome from last year and Sho asked who hadn't seen this series and there were quite a few of us and he cracked up 'how weird this must look like to you who haven't seen this series,' because it really did look ridiculous. One scene literally had Sho in this skin-type black short jumpsuit with a wind machine in front of him and toilet paper wrapped around him while he sang; what the hell xD

*We also got an exclusive look of the new Game of Laplace visuals, weeks before they were released, when he started talking about GoL from last year and asked the producer if it was okay to show it. Also the producer was like 'we used mannequins this time around and now I have about 30 mannequins in my house! I'll give them out (to fans) if you want one! I'll look like a mad man if anyone comes to my house' xD

*If I remember anymore, I'll add them here.

Some extra things; Whenever someone late came to the event Sho went 'okay... se----no! (after 3) IRASHAIMASE! (welcome!)' and the whole crowd would say Irashaimase to the late commer and every time the fan got super embarrassed but that's what Sho is all about xD

Also at the end, as requested from fans, he recited some lines from plays he's done. So he did some Date lines from TouStage and of course he did the Bai from Honoo no Mirage and a few more lines from Honoo. I think he did a Gekidan Handsome line too. During his Date line, Jo-ji came running back on stage (still with the damn wig on) to join him and continue the scene. And when that finished Sho went 'why are you still here?!' to which Jo-ji replied 'I can't leave until I've taken a picture with you!' and Sho replied 'then pay for a cheki!' XD also a bit later Jo-ji yelled 'lets go drinking already!'

CHEKI

So it came to the chekis, and Jo-ji did sweep in before the fans to get one with Sho xD this time around the poses were set so you could either choose from handing hands, hugging, arm wrapped around the shoulder or this silly o_o/(_)\o_O movement where you make a circle with your hands touching. I can't explain it. It was stupid. It was ridiculous!

Anyway, I got nervous during and before and after my cheki of course. So I got the arm over the shoulder pose with him and he said it was okay if I did it back to him so our arms were wrapped around each other ^_^ and at the end as usual we got a hand shake and he said (HE SAID!) 'またね / see you later' I just effing DIED inside because that means he remembers me!!! SHHH I know I'm crazy but it definitely felt like he remembers me!

And as usual I said thank you to the staff who did the cheki, she always does it, and as I came down the stairs, the Shachou was against the wall next to the door so I did my usual greetings to him too. And then, I left.

GOODS

Sho always makes plaques with his kanji for the year painted on, by him, which we get for free at the end of his event. I almost forgot to it pick up because I was so dang nervous xD

It was so much fun! I was so upset when I couldn’t go to his 15th Anniversary last year so I was happy I could make it up to him by coming to this one! I love Sho. He’s such a great guy and he’s so funny and he’s very intelligent too! He’s just the best! And I kinda hope he does a 16th Anniversary Celebration this year so I can go!

Did I persuade you to become his fan?!

#tomita sho #report #tokienta #toki entertainment

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