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fishyfishyfishtimes · 6 months

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What Is and Isn't a Fish: an Essay and Guide by Fishyfishyfishtimes

A simplified list of the animals I discuss can be found here!

Hello folks! I created this post to have a kind of definitive essay/explanation of what is and isn't a "fish", starting with defining the term and going over animals that fit and don't fit the bill. As other fishblr artists, writers and educators must know too well, some people are confused about where this term begins and ends, mistaking other aquatic animals for fish. I have my fair share of arthropods and cnidarians as fish fact requests in my own askbox, heck, some years back a friend of mine asked me if clams were fish. The event that finally made me decide to write this was someone requesting that a fish-only account draw a crustacean, pondering to themselves if they count as fish.

I don't want to hold it against these people. It's impossible to know something when you've never been taught! So that's what I'm here to do, hopefully achieving a pretty correct and universal view ^^' If I make any mistakes please correct me. I'm learning all the same as everyone else is.

Definition of fish

Immediately, we run into a bit of a problem with the definition of fish. See, what the term "fish" means has fluctuated for centuries! For a long time, pretty much any animal that lived in water was a "fish" — I say "pretty much any" instead of "every" animal because for a long time sessile animals like sponges or corals were thought to be plants. This is why we have such remnants in our language like shellFISH, starFISH and jellyFISH, they lived in water so they were called such!

Occasionally these definitions would be changed for cultural convenience too. Many Christian churches take part in Lent, and in the Catholic church red and white meat is forbidden on Fridays and Ash Wednesday. In the Middle Ages, in my own country, Finland, this abstinence of red and white meat could last up to 140 days! To make fasting easier, many animals were labelled fish for convenience so they could be eaten as well. These newfound "fish" included seals, beavers and swans, pretty much just anything that was aquatic or semiaquatic in nature.

Nowadays just going off of looks or behaviour won't do, though. There has been much more of an effort to define fishes coherently based on their anatomy and phylogeny, which is great! Problem is, that's easier said than done: fishes are an extremely diverse group, and uh.. not really a single group, either. I'll show you:

As you can see from this heavily simplified phylogenic tree, fishes are not a singular group like, say, mammals are! The animals that we group under "fish" are actually a part of several distinct lineages of animals, some more closely related to us than each other. Heck, tetrapods, which include amphibians, reptiles*, and mammals, are fish themselves! Phylogenetically speaking. Our ancestors were lobe-finned fish, and, well, you never stop being the previous taxon even when you evolve into something else. If you try to exclude tetrapods, no such unified group as "fish" exists. Still, when discussing fish, we tend to want to avoid talking about every vertebrate ever and instead focus on the very specific aquatic ones we mean when we say "fish". This is why many definitions of the term "fish" still exclude tetrapods, even if we share a common fishy ancestor. "Fish" describes more of a lifeform than it does a clade, much like the term "worm"!

(*birds are reptiles! This could be a whole post in and of itself, but I'm not here to write about that. Someone else has most likely taken up the task!)

Hooray, it's definition time! As stated previously, fishes are an extremely diverse group of thousands of species, and what terms might apply to the Atlantic cod may not apply to the yellowfin tuna or giant mudskipper, let alone a Pacific lamprey! Encyclopedia.com defines a fish as "an ectothermic chordate that lives primarily in water and possesses a cranium*, gills that are useful virtually throughout life, and appendages (if present) in the form of fins". Encyclopedia Britannica notes that "the term fish is applied to a variety of vertebrates of several evolutionary lines", instead highlighting five classes. These five classes are left partly unspecified, but ones that are mentioned are jawless fish, cartilaginous fish and bony fish (which still includes tetrapods, however), and the two classes left can be assumed to be two classes of extinct fish. Wikipedia defines a fish as "an aquatic, craniate**, gill-bearing animal that lacks limbs with digits". Tim M. Berra, an academy professor and ichtyologist, defines fish as "poikilothermic***, aquatic chordate with appendages (when present) developed as fins, whose chief respiratory organs are gills and whose body is usually covered with scales".

(*cranium=upper part of the skull **craniate=an animal with a skull ***poikilothermic=an animal whose internal temperature varies considerably)

From these more or less detailed definitions we can gather many defining features for fish: a cranium-having chordate, primarily aquatic, gill-bearing and uses gills as their main respiratory organ, lacking any limbs with digits, instead having their limbs be in paired and unpaired fins when present. Most fish are also ectothermic, meaning their body temperature is determined by their environment, but some can heat up parts of their body or their entire body in the case of the opah. Most fish also have scales, but not all, just like how most fish are fully aquatic, but some like lungfish or mudskippers can spend considerable time out of the water. Such is the way of these magnificent and diverse animals!

Finally, with all this out of the way, we can get into...

What is a fish!

Here, I will be detailing animals that are fish! Well, at least the broadest strokes; there are more than 30 000 fish species and if I listed them all we'd be here all life. I shall instead go over the major classes and list, in short, some groups that belong in them.

Jawless fish (Superclass Cyclostomi)

Jawless fish are often a topic of debate, especially in matters of their relation to each other and to jawed vertebrates. Evidence seems to point to hagfish and lampreys being closest related to one another and to lampreys being more closely related to jawed vertebrates than to hagfish (which would make hagfish craniates but not vertebrates). In the phylogeny tree above I decided to portray hagfish and lampreys as a monophyletic group, as molecular studies and microRNA analysis seems to point to a monophylegic superclass. Please note that this could go either way, though.

Jawless fish is a group containing two extant fishes, hagfish (class Myxini) and lampreys (order Petromyzontiformes)! Jawless fish are more "primitive" than other groups, for example both lack true vertebrae and scales. Still, they both have craniums and gills and they are aquatic, and so they have earned their place among fish!

Cartilaginous fish (class Chondrichthyes)

Surprisingly, I've found that this group has a lot of confusion surrounding it. I have received many a request confirming if sharks are fish, or asking if I'd cover a shark "even if it's not a fish". So I'll say it now: good news, sharks are indeed fish! So are their cousins, rays, skates and chimaeras, also known as ghost sharks! All of these fish have a primarily cartilaginous skeleton, tooth-like dermal denticles and lack gill covers and a swim bladder. Out of all the sharks, I also want to highlight that the whale shark, despite its confusing name, is a shark and not a whale. So, it is a fish!

Ray-finned fish (class Actinopterygii)

Name any fish, and there's a 96% chance the species name you said belongs to a ray-finned fish. Unless, like, you really like sharks. But this isn't about them.

Ray-finned fish are the biggest group of fish and incredibly diverse! It has your seahorse, your pufferfish, your bass, your tuna, your anglerfish, your clownfish, your salmon, your sturgeon, your lanternfish, your perch, your oarfish, your gar, your sardine, your moray eel... and this is only a tiny, tiny fraction of the groups that belong to this class! Defining features of ray-finned fish are that they tend to have a swim bladder and a bony skeleton (some exceptions though. Sturgeons, for one, have evolved a cartilaginous skeleton but they're still ray-finned fish). The largest group of ray-fins, the teleosts, also have leptoid scales, which are thinner and more flexible and grow with growth rings.

I want to bring special attention to some members of the ray-finned fish which tend to have a lot of confusion surrounding them and their heritage: eels and seahorses. Many people think these two are not fish due to their strange anatomy, like lack of scales or (many) fins and their elongated bodies, and I wouldn't blame them! Seahorses belong to family Syngnathidae, which also includes seadragons and pipefish. Eels, meanwhile, make up the order Anguilliformes. All of these long friends of ours are fish!

Lobe-finned fish (clade Sarcopterygii)

I shall merely focus on the fishy fishy fish individuals of this class, which excludes tetrapods. Lobe-finned fish house the two extant species of coelacanths, and six extant species of lungfish! These fish are bony and their fins are placed at the tips of fleshy, lobelike stalks, resembling the limbs of tetrapods. It is thought that the common ancestor of coelacanths and lungfish and tetrapods had similar structures that then became the four limbs the members of our clade typically have. Coelacanths and lungfish are wonderful fishes and deserve a lot of love and respect, not only because they're our closest cousins but because they're unique and we have so much to learn about them!

So, these are the fishes! There are also extinct groups of fish, namely class Placodermi (armoured fish) and class Acanthodii (spiny "sharks"). I'm moreso an extant fish account however, and so I shall move onto...

What isn't a fish?

Now we get into the real meat of this post. Without further ado, here are some aquatic friends of ours that can be mixed up with fish very often!

Crustaceans (subphylum Crustacea)

Many of our hard-shelled many-legged friends belong here! Crabs, lobsters, crayfish, shrimp, krill, isopods, triops, barnacles, copepods, you name it! Even though many crustaceans are aquatic or semiaquatic and have gills, you'll find that they're invertebrates that lack an internal skeleton (so no cranium, not even vertebrae)! We still love them though!

Mollusks (phylum Mollusca)

Creatures both soft and hard-shelled! Cephalopods like octopuses, squid, nautilus and cuttlefish, bivalves like clams, mussels, oysters or scallops, gastropods like sea slugs and snails and chitons go here! These friends of ours are also aquatic and have gills, some even have the suffix -fish (cephalopods used to be called inkfish, even!), but their lack of an endoskeleton is even more obvious than the crustaceans'. They're invertebrates, and therefore not fish!

Chelicerates (subphylum Chelicerata)

This group has many animals that are very hard to mistake for fish, namely spiders and scorpions, but horseshoe crabs and sea spiders are two groups of extant marine chelicerates! Both groups are aquatic, and horseshoe crabs have gills. However, they're both invertebrates, lacking a cranium or vertebrae. Other aquatic chelicerates exist, but they're usually very small, like water mites.

Cnidarians (phylum Cnidaria)

This phylum has the sessile corals and sea anemones and the usually more mobile jellyfish and siphonophores (includes the infamous Portugese man o' war!). I imagine corals and sea anemones are mistaken for fish less due to their sessile nature, but they're good to bring up nevertheless. None of these animals have a backbone, or, any bones really. They lack gills, they lack fins, they even lack the bilateral shape of fish. Jellyfish, despite the name, are indeed not fish! Some people suggest the name sea jellies be used for them instead, and I think it's much cuter.

Echinoderms (phylum Echinodermata)

Animals like starfish, sea urchins, brittle stars, sand dollars, sea cucumbers and feather stars go here. It seems that this pesky "-fish" -suffix is hard to shake off, as now we have the starfish. Once again, all of these slow-moving bottom-dwelling friends of ours are invertebrates, as they lack vertebrae or a cranium. Interestingly though, they are among our closest invertebrate relatives! So we ought to give them some props for that. I also want to mention that starfish can also be called sea stars, which ought to lessen confusion about their being too.

Comb jellies (phylum Ctenophora)

Comb jellies look a lot like jellyfish, but they belong in their own unique phylum! They have the same deal going on; they are invertebrates, they lack gills, they lack a cranium, they are simply aquatic.

Lancelets (subphylum Cephalocordata) and tunicates (subphylum Tunicata)

A double feature, because I wanted to save space didn't want these guys to be all alone! Lancelets and Tunicates, like sea squirts and salps, are chordates, which you can find in the phylogenic tree I drew all the way in the definitions section. They share many a feature with vertebrates, like a bilateral bodyplan, a notochord at some stage of life and a post-anal tail, but I'm afraid they're still not fish. They lack a cranium and their notochord does not develop into a vertebral column! Sorry friends, you tried. We can still hang out at the chordate convention.

Annelids (phylum Annelida)

The infamous bobbit worm, bone-eating worms, sea mice, giant tube worms, feather duster worms, spoon worms, bristleworms in general, leeches... many, many worms go here! Pretty self-explanatory: they are invertebrates, even when they live in water. They're extremely cool invertebrates too! I suggest taking a look at some of them, there's many interesting species.

Flatworms (phylum Platyhelminthes)

Flatworms are another very diverse group of worms, having many species both terrestrial and aquatic, however mostly I want to put attention into the free-swimming marine flatworms. They may swim beautifully (and fence with grace), but they are nevertheless invertebrates! Flatworms can live a variety of different lifestyles, from predators to parasites.

Amphibians (class Amphibia)

We've made it into vertebrates now! Amphibians include frogs, salamanders, and caecilians. While they have limbs with digits in their adulthood*, they can be easily confused for fish in their larval stages! This is no surprise, as they use gills to breathe underwater and tadpoles lack any limbs at all for a while. Many amphibians later transition into a terrestrial or semiaquatic way of life and lose their gills, not to mention gain their digit-having limbs.

(*excluding caecilians)

...Well, many amphibians do this, but not all. It's important to mention there are also species of aquatic salamanders which can bear great resemblance to fish with their elongated bodies! Amphiumas, which are sometimes mistakenly called "conger eels" (which is an actual species of fish), are aquatic salamanders with small residual limbs and both working gills and lungs. Giant salamanders and mudpuppies/waterdogs have lungs and gills as well, and lead an aquatic lifestyle — olms are close relatives of mudpuppies. Sirens, meanwhile, lack hind limbs and only have small front limbs, along with retaining their gills in adulthood. Among aquatic salamanders I also want to bring up one most often talked about species: the axolotl! They remain in their larval form, have external gills and lead an aquatic lifestyle. It can be hard to tell with aquatic salamanders sometimes, but these friends of ours are amphibians and not fish, even if they've rejected the land life.

Caecilians are a bit less known overall, but they can also cause a lot of confusion due to their long, limbless body. While most caecilians live underground, some are aquatic in nature, and can therefore be mistaken for fish! However, caecilians breathe via the use of their lungs and through the skin and don't have any gills at all.

Reptiles (class Reptilia)

Most commonly mistaken for fish in this group are sea snakes, sea kraits and water snakes, sea turtles, turtles, penguins, and other (semi)aquatic birds. Sea snakes and water snakes bear a very strong resemblance to eels, but they are indeed just snakes adapted to an aquatic or a semiaquatic lifestyle! The same goes for sea turtles, turtles overall, and penguins. They all need to breathe air and they lack fins, even if their flippers, webbed feet and built-in paddles may look like fins! They also have wholly different types of scales (or feathers!!) than what fish have, even if they share the feature. I assume that other aquatic reptiles, like the marine iguana and crocodilians are better read as reptiles thanks to their limbs with digits, but I want to give them a reptile shoutout anyway. They’re aquatic or semiaquatic, but they are air-breathers and fin-lackers all the same!

I also want to mention one specific extinct group of reptiles, ichtyosaurs! These marine reptiles were rather shark- or dolphin-like in appearance, which is actually a really good example of convergent evolution! Like all other reptiles, they also needed to breathe air and they had... erm... well, I'm not sure if I can call the bones in their flippers digits, but, that's what they used to be, so...? They were cool reptiles and among my favourites! There were many other aquatic reptiles too, but I will only mention just the ones now. A paleontology account would be better-suited to list you allll the marine reptiles.

Mammals (class Mammalia)

Our home class! Some of the aquatic friends we have in this class include whales like baleen and beaked whales, dolphins (orcas go here), porpoises, belugas, narwhals and sperm whales, pinnipeds like seals, sea lions, walruses, and sirenians like manatees, (occasionally known as sea cows) and dugongs! We also have some semiaquatic buddies like hippopotamids, otters, beavers and platypuses! Whales and pinnipeds especially often cause a lot of confusion due to their very streamlined, fishy appearance. They are, however, air breathers that feed their young with milk (some dolphin calves are even born with some hair), and their ancestors were land mammals! The same goes for pinnipeds and sirenians too. True seals, fur seals and sea lions still have fur even! Hippos, otters, beavers and platypuses are a bit more obvious as mammals with their fur and.. distinct air-breathing.. but I wanted to mention them anyway. Their adaptations to aquatic life are just one example of how fascinating evolution can be!

And here we are! A hopefully comprehensive list of fishes and non-fishes, beginning with the ever-shifting story of the term "fish", phylogeny, and why some animals are called fish when they really aren't. I hope you have found useful and interesting information in this post, and perhaps learned something new! I bid you a farewell! :D

#fish guide #fish essay #fish #fish facts #fishfact #marine biology #biology #zoology #long post #jawless fish #cartilaginous fish #ray-finned fish #lobe-finned fish

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a-dinosaur-a-day · 11 months

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Why So Serious? This is a Dinosaur Blog?

So we live in a world that has built its entire mythology off of hierarchies. The idea that the rich are better than the poor. The whites better than people of color. Men better than women. Able-bodied and able-minded better than the disabled and neurodivergent. Straight, cis folk better than queers. christians better than any other people of any other religion. That's the society we in "western" places live in. Another fundamental component of that is that humans are better, more important, more "evolved" or "chosen" than any other living thing.

and that is just as false as all the rest of them.

you can't dismantle it without dismantling the others first, of course. since humano-supremacy is the one the rest is built off of, you won't properly unlearn it unless you unlearn white supremacy first. that's why we see countless vegans being real racist pieces of shit all the time.

but you do have to unlearn anthropocentrism, too. you do. because the biosphere is all fundamentally equal. we are one part of nature, of the ecosystem, connected to all the rest. we are partners in the evolution of life. understanding that is necessary: to combat climate change, to fight against ecofascism, to ensure the survival of our species and the world. we are not uniquely evil or uniquely good. we're just some naked apes that made a bunch of mistakes, but we can fix them, too.

I live with five parrots. every day they remind me that the idea humans are "more evolved" is ridiculous. they understand things I would never expect. and they remind me that they're dinosaurs every damn day. and that's just another type of tetrapod, something so close to us its easy to empathize with them. Now apply it to fungi. It gets harder, right?

But that's why we have to keep working.

And that's why we have to see the history of life not just as an interesting story, but the story of us. The history of all of us. and it explains so much! The quirks of geology lead to the geography of slavery in the united states. Humans wouldn't have even evolved if a rock hadn't randomly hit the planet at the right time. We have hiccups because we descend from fish. The list goes on.

We need to produce a human population that thinks ecologically and evolutionarily, so that we can tackle the real problems and move forward.

And that's why I'm so gd-damned serious about dinosaurs. Because dinosaurs, in that western mythos, are the "lumbering, dumb lizards" that went extinct because they sucked, so the cool mammals could come in and run the show - and we, the coolest mammals of all, took our rightful place as the leaders.

But that's not what happened.

Dinosaurs were well adapted for their environments, intelligent and active animals - and were thriving right until the end-Cretaceous. Nonavian ones only went extinct because of a giant space rock. And dinosaurs are STILL WITH US - as birds - and doing better than ever. There are more species of dinosaur alive today than there are mammals. and humans just kind of, happened, thanks to some lucky accidents. we are as much a product of random chance as the extinction of nonavian dinosaurs was.

All of our anthropocentric myths are just that - myths. frankly, how can we call ourselves "more evolved", when we're destroying the planet - gleefully and rapidly? We have to unlearn this myth.

And, in between crying about my thesis, I will do everything I can to help people unlearn that myth and see the true beauty that is the history of life.

so, yeah. come learn with me. it's the only way to liberate us all.

#palaeoblr #leftblr #anarchblr #sciblr #nature #sigh

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adam-sadmon · 6 months

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So to supplement by last post wherein I made an Armored Core AC based around Makoto (and might do some more for the Thieves) it's alternatively funny to instead imagine AC's not built by design aesthetics or combat styles/characteristics of the Thieves but literally made BY the Thieves, so here's how I imagine each Thief would build their AC if sat down in front of Armored Core 6:

Ryuji: Easy. Tank legs, dual miniguns and dual missile launchers on the shoulders. He hasn't optimised it whatsoever and with a build like that honestly he doesn't need to, he's Tokyo drifting at mach 10 turning the atmosphere into 90% lead. He will absolutely drive Futaba insane over how stupid his build is and how terrifyingly effective it is, especially when he turns her fully optimised meta build into a tin can.

Futaba: Futaba is a Gamer TM, and a toxic meta-slave at that, so she's running dual Zimmermans and Songbirds, at least when she's playing online. She likes to challenge herself in the campaign (which she's played though about 10 times now) and loves to flex on the rest of the Thieves in the Arena, usually by only equipping a single bazooka and turning on manual aiming to practise her Quake/TF2 rockets. OH, and she has in fact bugged Yusuke into making some waifu decals for her which she stickerbombs her AC with.

Yusuke: At first Yusuke was literally just using the first AC you play as during the first mission of the game since he spent a 100% of his time creating decals and re-colouring his AC, until eventually he started changing the AC parts to compliment his decals and aesthetic, and finally he actually went into the test range to fight... So he could spend 110% of his time in photo mode.

Makoto: Makoto, much to the fear and surprise of Futaba, is ruthlessly efficient when it comes to her AC build and approaches weapon and part stats the way she would an exam, going out of her way to build an energy-weapon based medium-weight AC, having ran the numbers on the various energy generators and the sheer DPS on quad-pulse guns, and much to her surprise has even beat Futaba on multiple occasions, even against her meta-slave build. Though nobody knows and she wouldn't hasten to tell anybody Makoto has secretly spent an inordinate amount of time away from studying to make Buchimaru decals for when she plays alone in the campaign.

Ann: Having little frame of reference as far as mecha go Ann failed upwards, instead trying to emulate herself in the metaverse by running with dual Ludlow SMG's and even adding the whip-like plasma thrower to her build and, inspired by the sleek femme-fatale villainesses of her childhood shows, built herself especially light with reverse-joint legs, not for the added jump distance or decrease in weight but because they look like high heels. She has accidentally outed Makoto's dark secret by telling Mako-Chan that she and her should hang out and make some more Buchi emblems and makes Futaba question her existence when she victory dances after turning her AC into Swiss cheese.

Haru: As bloodthirsty in AC6 as she is in the Metaverse Haru gets noticeably too into Arena fights especially when landing a fully revved chainsaw or by going wide eyed and shallow-breathed when flying 300 metres up in the air on hovering tetrapod legs while raining down 40 missiles at once, usually on Ryuji who can't reach her with his stubby little tank legs and who refuses to change his AC. She's attempted to make a lighter weight, more aesthetically pleasing and eloquent AC's but says fuck it when she realises she can't equip the chainsaw without being overburdened.

Morgana: Morgana doesn't have thumbs, however when hanging around Futaba he backseats and has gotten her to make a gentlemanly, lightweight AC with quad-handguns painted all black and white to emulate his stylish masculinity, which he then got to see melted by Sulla. He hasn't even got to Balteus yet.

#Persona #Persona 5 #P5 #Haru Okumura #Ryuji Sakamoto #Futaba Sakura #Yusuke Kitagawa #Makoto Niijima #Ann Takamaki #Morgana #Mona #Armored Core #Armored Core 6 #AC6

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cerastes · 8 months

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Any tips for dealing with Intercept the Redguns? Need to complete this mission in at least one NG cycle for the funny oscillator but horde battles in all games just kinda fry my brain.

It's a hard one until you realize it's not a horde and instead is a lot of enemies in very deliberate set ups. Then it's easy to break up into small segments and do it pretty comprehensively.

I like to separate the map in sections: The map is a huge circle with big chunks of debris in the center, making a sort-of-but-not-really donut, right? Ok, let's separate the map into Center, Inner Ring, Outer Ring.

Center is where the debris is. Inner Ring is the circle immediately surrounding the Center. Outer Ring is the circle in the edge.

The areas that need most of our attention are the Outer Ring and the Center. These are areas where cannonfire will come from, making the Inner Ring particularly risky since you'll be sandwiched between the cannoneers. However, the Inner Ring is the most optimal place to actually fight in. So, the game plan is simple:

Start the mission by rushing Center, kill the snipers (we'll call the cannoneers this from now on), and then comb the Outer Ring to kill those snipers. After you make sure all snipers are down, then start mopping up the MTs that actually pursue you around, without fear of getting sucker punched by cannonfire. Any time there's reinforcements, repeat this process, prioritizing the part of the Outer Ring you're closest to at the moment, moving onto the Center again, and then clearing the reminder of the snipers from there. The Center snipers tend to be less dangerous because they are surrounded by debris, which limits their field of vision to some degree, unlike the Outer Ring snipers, who have a clear shot practically everywhere.

When a Tetrapod appears, deal with snipers that pose an immediate risk first, then kill the Tetra, and then mop up the snipers.

Once Michigan appears, again, deal with the snipers that pose an immediate threat, and then engage him. You ideally clear a few machine gun MTs first so they don't potshot at your ACS while fighting Michigan, especially since Liger Tail is equipped with a minigun and cannons that can max out your ACS easily with MT support. Michigan comes with Pulse Protection, so keep that in mind. Focus Michigan until he's dead, and if you take long enough for more reinforcements to arrive, switch to killing snipers first, and then Michigan. Ideally you kill him before the next Tetrapod arrives, but if you don't, then you'll have to do a little bit of running around. If you have good burst, kill the Tetrapod, otherwise, adjust accordingly to your fighting style. You have enough time to kill Michigan, though.

And that's that, the main issue is the fact that if you don't kill the snipers first, they can deal a lot of damage with stagger in the worst of moments and get you finished off. Without them, it's a lot more manageable.

#armored core

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rxttenfish · 19 days

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Vampire hater? I that vampires were objectively perfect metaphors for predators?

I've always thought there was a lot of fun stuff they can be used for. Can your tirade be today?

lol. lmfao. i think vampires remain god awful metaphors for predators the second you know anything about predation or how it happens in nature.

okay lets start with the parasite bit because thats easier for me. parasitism is also a little bit of a... non-definition too, and technically is just another form of predation too (much like how we should probably define herbivores as predators too because plants are alive and just as alive as animals and the actual mechanics of herbivory is better understood that way but Oh Well i cant even get people to understand that reptiles are alive so plants are a no-go), so all im really talking about is disputing a certain idea of how they behave as predators. for the purposes of this, lets define parasitism as a form of predation that consumes prey in units of less than one.

for one, in a significant chunk of media, a vampire preying on a human usually kills that human. im assuming for this that the amount of blood they need is just equivalent to one human, rather than getting into the supernatural weeds of why this kills the human. you could also just assume the vampire is incompetent and dispatches the prey due to not know how to feed on blood and NOT, but thats bad for the species if all vampires do that.

this is BAD for a parasite. parasites do not actually want to kill their hosts. why would they? for most parasites, the host is not only their source of food but their HOUSE, their source of everything in the world. sure, never leaving the host makes reproduction a complicated mess, but thats the price you pay for getting literally everything handed to you on a silver platter. a parasite is not designed to leave the host, or not for long, and usually makes use of intermediate hosts to do so anyways, minimizing non-host time. did you know most parasites dont actually have any adaptations to manage their body temperature? because if they live inside a host body, then they can just use the hosts body temperature in the first place, nice and perfect for them.

high parasite loads in single hosts are not actually good for the parasite, anyways. anything that effects host health isnt good for the parasite, actually, because they run on such a fine line of "host is healthy and happy = even better food and house for me!" and "host cannot be TOO healthy and happy, because then their immune system has an even better chance to kick me out and kill me (at the same time ofc)"

vampires that just... kill their host upon first contact with said host are not being very good parasites. theyre bad parasites actually. why are you burning your own fields. the blood comes BACK.

but this is when you say, ah! but what if theyre like mosquitos and vampire bats and other forms of parasites that dont live inside their hosts body!

one, you still have the issue of STOP KILLING YOUR DAMN HOSTS. stop removing food sources for yourself in the future!!! but also, theres a reason vampire bats are so fucking weird for deciding to become obligate sangivores as tetrapods, and its because blood is a pretty shitty source of nutrition. its high in certain things, sure, but also it is crucially missing several different things necessary for life to Function, and this is a pretty extreme way to live if you cant just find ways around that. ie: is a vertebrate.

lack of detection is also the name of the game here. you do not want your prey to even notice that you are there, you do not want them to dislodge you, you want to get in and get out. why are you being the exact same fucking size as your prey. thats how you get immediately noticed. and you LOOK like how your prey looks???? in a social animal???? good job getting marked as 1. OUTSIDER TO INSIDE GROUP and 2. POTENTIAL THREAT. theres so much back and forth, pros and cons, competition and collaboration, in social species, that you shouldnt get wrapped up in that if you can help it (which you shouldnt, because you are trying to eat these people, not have your own feeding attempt thwarted because they pulled you into their social dramas and now you cant get close enough to any of them without getting noticed or possibly attacked anyways)

honestly the size thing is one of the big things for me. it makes no sense. theres a reason predators as a rule are smaller than the prey that they hunt, and thats because the 10% rule of tropic levels still applies here. you are operating at an energy deficit. the energy it takes to capture and kill and feed and digest (because you have to have energy to even begin eating something!! even if you dont catch it yourself!! digestion consumes energy!!!) something the size of a human will NOT be made up for by the energy you get from that human if you are ALSO the same size as a human. you are so much more likely to get caught and found out (and no i do not care how op your vampires are, getting outnumbered is far more powerful in real life than it has ever been in fiction because fiction solely runs on "rule of cool" and it kills me when people then try to apply it to real life) (see also: STOP KILLING YOUR SOURCE OF FOOD YOU IDIOTS) (YOU DO NOT GO INTO THE FIELD AND START KILLING ALL OF YOUR HERD OF COWS BECAUSE ONE BULL GORED SOMEONE) (YOU HAVE TO EAT TOO) and to have your feeding attempt botched if you are the size of a human. theres a reason all the sangivores we have are all fractions of a size of the animals that they feed on, AND this is already counting sangivores who eat OTHER stuff too (a lot of blood-feeding insects will also be important pollinators who eat nectar!! vampire bats are weird by only eating blood!!!)

theres also the issue of timing. vampires ALWAYS eat way more often than they should. like, okay, blood is garbage food and it has no fat meaning no extra stores of energy to prevent immediate starvation if you miss one feeding. but these are also animals that are taking a little bit of blood from an animal far larger than them who will not miss that amount of blood taken. they can afford to double-dip, because they arent killing their prey. sure, they can kill their prey in massive swarms, but not only does this primarily effect the young/small/weak and less so for the adults (a fair enough price to pay, babies are cheap and animals always seem to have a higher mortality in their early life than adulthood), but also this is a pretty rare situation to begin with and the bust/boom suggested would be beneficial enough alone to make up for the cost of these losses.

but no. vampires are killing their prey, they have to take a large amount of blood at once (one whole human the same size as them), and they only specialize into ONE TYPE OF PREY. yes, i know theres recent talk of vampires who eat animals, but no. im going pop vampire, the vampire that most people will first think of when thinking of a vampire, basic as shit.

humans are bad prey, okay? this is what all these stories dont understand. humans are really, really bad prey. first of all, we are apex predators to begin with (do not come at me and argue with me about this, an apex predator is literally just one of the largest predators in its ecosystem, can (not necessarily will) eat nearly any other type of animal in said ecosystem, and is rarely predated upon as adults. lions and bears and tigers and sharks are all regularly eaten by other animals when they are cubs. like i said. infant mortality is universally pretty high), so thats a bad call. even in cases of maneaters that exist, theyre nearly all animals that have had their natural form of living interrupted in some way. habitation is the least damaging option (aka why you need to STOP FEEDING THE WILDLIFE), but also if the animal is injured, or sick, or very old, or nursing cubs. aka, all the cases where we would expect an animal to start taking on riskier prey that cannot pan out. the lions of tsavo could not eat their regular prey due to injury and already were feeding off of bodies left behind by the human atrocities of the railroad being constructed. humans both remember and hold grudges. this is a bad strategy, and vampires have made the fatal mistake of absolutely needing to be in absolutely tiny populations just to make the numbers work and also being large enough to actively target. you cannot squish every mosquito, but one vampire already requires such a massive population to support them that you can easily drive them to localized extinction by just killing one.

which is another thing. if you are killing a human every time you eat, and you are eating often, then the humans are not replacing themselves. humans take at least 9 months to make another human, and even that is basically useless without a good decade and a half more of just waiting for them to grow up and get to a decent size which might then be useful for you. if you target the infants to begin with, then thats way less blood, not going to be enough, and youre going to make multiple kills in one night just to make up for that absence, and then some because you need even MORE to make up for the extra energy you just spent obtaining all of said infants. not to mention the time lag itll take for the same humans to make more humans to replace those, AND humans have a limited reproductive window to begin with. this is very bad if you have to eat more than once a week. hell, this is bad if youre even doing the regular predator thing of eating a single large prey maybe once a month (and they supplement their diet with other, smaller prey items to make up for the energy deficit). do you know how long it takes a wildebeest or a zebra to go from calf to reproductive adult? its not 18 years, okay.

and again i just sit here and fume thinking about every excuse made that vampires are using mimicry to look like humans to get close to them. first of all, thats not how most aggressive mimicry works. most aggressive mimicry is looking like something appetizing to your prey item, something it wants to get close to, or something it wouldnt even notice at all. usually if youre looking like a specific animal, its not actually FOR that animal, and aggressive mimicry to begin with is rarer than you think. the only example i can think of is the (small!!!!) fraction of ant-mimicking jumping spiders that do prey on ants, but not only is this rare due to how scary ants themselves are, but it cannot really be just copy + pasted onto humans, who have an entirely different reproductive setup and no queens that churn out hundreds of offspring a day (more than any spider could eat in the one single community of ants) and are mammalian megafauna that have extremely high energetic needs and physical effort required just to kill a single one of those bastards, let alone repeatedly doing it more than once, AND being obligated to navigate space in the same way that they do.

all of this is nonsensical because i am very sick right now so you know. unpolished vampire rant.

#beddragin #all the care guide says is 'biomass'#asks #bangs my head on the wall. I HATE VAMPIRES I HATE VAMPIRES I HATE VAMPIRES #WHY ARE THEY SO FUCKED UP WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP CLAIMING THEY ARE SUPERPREDATORS #WHY DO THEY WANT TO RULE HUMANITY WHY WOULD THEY NOT ALSO FEAR US #DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH EVERY PREDATOR FEARS ITS PREY #YOU CANNOT LIVE FEED SNAKES BECAUSE THE MICE WILL TEAR OPEN THEIR FACE AND CHEW THEIR SKULLS #THERE ARE HORROR STORIES OF PET TARANTULAS GETTING EATEN BY MEALWORMS #AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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thechillsquid · 1 year

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Hexapods

Sniffers, Striders, and Ghasts

Ender dragon

The hexapods are a group of highly weird ass mobs that are known currently from a handful of organisms with the most recently identified mob being the Sniffer. They are known specifically for their abnormal lungs/respiratory systems and for the fact that all members within this group have six true limbs.

The sniffer has its notable six legs while the ender dragon has its four primary legs and then its two muscular wings; despite the ghast seemingly having some eight or nine legs and the strider seemingly only having two, they also have six true limbs.

The ghast’s only true limbs are their feeding claws and their directory flipper-like fins. The other so-called limbs are actually their rudder-like tail which is used to help direct them while drifting with the other two limbs being their sensory organs which often are seen flailing about whenever they run into anything or just as they drift. These are constantly scenting and collecting information for the ghast.

The strider on the other hand often hides its two other pairs of limbs within the soft downy feathers along its chest area. These limbs are almost exclusively used for preening and holding newborn young. However since this means almost the rest of the time these limbs are not in use, tucking them away is usually the default for the strider, often giving the illusion that they only have two muscular legs. These said back legs possessing very large and widespread webbed feet that allow for the strider to stabilize on the shifting surface of lava. Though they would not be able to do so it it weren’t thanks to their unusual lungs.

You see the hexapods are also known for their highly pecuilar respiratory system. Large air sacs on the lungs allow for these hexapods to hold in air for longer and allows them to more effectively take up all available oxygen they can in a single breath, similarly to a bird in a sense. However, unlike a bird these air sacs are highly unusual in the sense they can be utilized independently of the lungs when necessary.

This allows sniffers to hold their breath longer while foraging for food, the ghast to utilize its air sacs for the creation of buoyant gases which are released and built up independently of the lungs taking in oxygen, the strider to ‘float’ slightly and thus allows it to be light enough to ‘walk’ along on lava, and the ender dragon to fly as well as use these air sacs for the creation of its ‘breath attack.’

It is uncertain how exactly these air sacs function independently of the lungs they are attached to, but with the introduction of the sniffer some understanding of the basis constructions can be grasped due to the sniffer’s relatively unchanged physiology. Either way, while the tetrapods out competed the hexapods in most regions and dimensional plains, these air sacs have allowed them to adapt to very odd niches.

The ender dragon, for example is thought of being one of the most powerful mobs besides the wither and warden. Though this is most likely due to the fact that prior to its ancestors introduction to the End, most other organisms were struggling to survive due to the post-End disaster event. The ender dragon ancestors were able to utilize gliding and their air sacs to travel from island to island in search of food, it was able to grow to larger sizes with limited predation, and grew into the powerful being it is known as today. It’s air sacs later on being utilized to create a violent mixture of gases that can be expelled in a ball of energy from a chamber in the throat.

The ghast as well is known for a more violent ‘breath attack’ which is derived from is air sacs and projected through a specialized chamber in the throat, similarly to the ender dragon. The ghast’s fireball however is highly more explosive and damaging, but a similar spread of the energy contained is witnessed in both. Speaking of the ghast, it is known that the ghast and strider are related, though it is unknown if the strider derived from ghast’s that begun to re-develop powered limbs or if they derive from an ancient lineage of currently undocumented, elusive hexapods that are also ancestors to the ghast. Either way, it is known that this family group of ‘drifter nether mobs’ are as successful as they are due to the ability to separate the usage of the air sacs from the lungs, allowing for increased buoyancy. The ghast adapted this into a lifestyle spent drifting and constantly hunting for food (making them a highly aggressive mob due to their opportunistic behavior, these mobs even being witnessed hunting and eating younger ghasts when they can) while the strider took to the lava and a highly nomadic yet communal lifestyle when searching for any food such as mushrooms, tree roots, smaller organisms, etc. The strider often has a more curious nature and thus is unafraid of players and may even be utilized as transportation, the organism simply increasing its buoyancy to take on the added weight.

The ghast and striders afterall share abnormal gill-like slits that enter into the lungs and air sacs (the gill slits are often unnoticed under the strider’s downy feathering while the ghast’s gill slits, seen along the sides of the head are commonly mistaken for abnormal patterning), specialized air sac chambers solely used for the regulation of buoyant gases, and utilize tendril-like sensory organs (the odd frilly tendrils seen along the strider’s head and back).

However, because almost all hexapods are known from trans dimensional mobs, with the sniffer’s rediscovered origins being highly disputed, this brings us to the possibility of a third odd feature of this group. However this is still very much a theory and based on drawn up conclusions rather than facts.

I believe the hexapods are capable of, somehow, causing disruption and weakening of dimensional barriers. I am uncertain how this would be possible, but I think it could be similar to the enderman’s teleportation. However, unlike enderman who travel through space and may accidentally clip through dimensions as a result (this being more utilized and developed prior to their civilizations collapse), the hexapods were somehow able to do this purposefully.

Again, I’m uncertain how, but this seems like a plausibility due to the fact that hexapods, despite being pushed out of the overworld and most niches by the tetrapods, are still noted within all dimensions as being ancient residents (or at least in the case of the strider which is a relatively newer species, ancient roots). As the newer (I say in a comparison of some hexapods being around for some millions of years possibly to certain tetrapods being around for only some thousands of years) tetrapod dwellers of both the end and nether dimension are less notably adapted specifically for said dimension, for example, the piglins and hoglins originally started from overworld swine ancestors coming across the ancient civilization portals. The enderman, while they are believed to have indeed originated from the End dimension, lost their connection to this home realm due to dimensional separation caused by the post-End disaster event (enderman once being widespread through the other dimensions until said disaster separated the numerous groups and caused disruption of their society and species stability.)

Otherwise the hexapods were able to then move to more niche open dimensional dwellings and through absurdly rapid evolution, became highly adapted. This could be due to the way dimensional travel for some species and mobs can cause an increased rate of genetic mutations that are passable to future offspring and generations. Or more loosely grasping, the possibility of hexapods being able to manipulate their genetics?

Again this is highly theoretical and loosely structured needing further observation and study. Either way, hexapods found some success in other dimensions they traveled to through currently unknown methods. Furthermore their evolutionary history is highly obscure and difficult to pinpoint when compared and contrasted with other mobs and dimensional residents.

Either way, this group is highly curious and I will be returning to discussion about them again in the future as new information is gained regarding their capabilities and origins.

#my art #traditional art #minecraft speculative biology #minecraft mobs #minecraft #speculative biology #my designs #minecraft biology #minecraft strider #minecraft ghast #minecraft sniffer #minecraft ender dragon

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iamthekaijuking · 1 year

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youtube

The Barioth skull for the newest unnatural history channel video which was available for early viewing on my patreon. Thanks once again to @krmoaten-blog for the references I used.

I used parave anatomy like I do with all flying wyverns, but honestly I don’t think there’s any tetrapod with cranial anatomy that can fix Barioth’s issues. Along with the problem of its tusks looking slapped on (and also being angled outwards which actually makes them incredibly susceptible to breaking) the back of its mouth is especially bad. I followed the proportions of the new world Barioth to show this. Whenever Barioth closes its mouth, the back of its mandibles clips into its cranium. Barioth also doesn’t need such huge brows to shield its eyes from light, as this could be accomplished by malar stripes, which would have also looked pretty cool with its tusks.

UHC and I also talked about how Barioth would hunt massive prey, how the breath attack might work (with his idea of it being a bile and me suggesting it’s specialized fats from its diet), me explaining the dilemma of if Barioth lays eggs or not (probably does), and how Barioth processes carcasses, with us both coming to the conclusion of it using its tusks to cut open carcasses but also possibly using them to cut off strips of fat and muscle too.

Barioth also runs like a vampire bat

#monster hunter #monhun #monsterhunter #monster hunter biology #unnatural history channel #uhc #barioth #skulls #speculative anatomy #speculative zoology #speculative evolution #speculative biology #Youtube

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bsaka7 · 2 months

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in other more important sports news i have my MARATHON TOMORROW!!!!!!!!

#everyone wish me luck im worried im going to need it bad.#Tetrapod runs

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merge-conflict · 2 months

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𝄆 on repeat 𝄇

tagged by @luvwich <3

Shuffle your on repeat playlist and share the first ten songs. Following the example by posting YT links and then spotify links under the cut.

Mary (alternate) by Yellow Ostrich

Outside by Bill Wurtz

No Rain by Blind Melon

Lesson 51 (A Tailchaser's Waltz) by Pilote

Ten Feet Tall by The Devil Makes Three

Ooh La La by Run The Jewels

Hast Thou Considered the Tetrapod by The Mountain Goats

Uncle Vern Might Wear Wool by St. Cinder

Hoist that Rag by Tom Waits

Dance Music by The Mountain Goats

Tagging @another-corpo-rat and @corpocyborg

#i wanna go out-out-out-out-out-outside #sdlkfjsl I think it's funny I do most of my tmg listening on bandcamp #but the sunset tree always ends up in my repeats on spotify #tag game

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semi-imaginary-place · 10 months

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In Stampede plants are paralleled to embryophyte/landplants in their ability to colonize barren environments, terraform, and sustain human life. The dependent plants are further compared then to red geraniums in glass cases, only able to bloom inside glass greenhouses or how Knives connect Tesla's dissected remains suspended in a glass case to a geranium. Stampede interestingly extends this imagery to Vash and his red coat and Knive attempts to capture him. There's the the further connection of flowers as reproductive organs with the fertility imagery in Stampede including the final sequence at the end of season 1 where Knives causes Vash to impregnate a bunch of plants and to create a city sized bloom. This also adds a layer of meaning to the SEED ships as just like how angiosperms have seeds which are used to disperse offspring away from the mother plant, humanity is also attempting to expand their range. The terraforming in particular puts into focus the resource scarcity driven conflict of the dessert planet. The embryophyte imagery puts the current plant based survival strategy in direct comparison with Luida's plans of terraforming Nomans Land with actual embryophytes to modify the planet to better suit human life, which is also in ideological competition with Conrad's plan of modifying humanity to better suit the planet.

In Maximum plants are paralleled to power plants, giant mechanical infrastructure that are a part of the cityscape and skyline. The plants are structurally a part of the cities, seen from every corner but also sentinels watching all the humans. Something monstrous, eldritch, and enormous contained within a glass shell. There's also the lightbulb imagery. Maximum leans much more into body horror and angel imagery. While Stampede compares plants to petals or leaves, the manga has the plants manifest with feathers and rotisserie chickens. Plants are compared to and worshiped as the Divine and it's easier to see in Maximum. But there is also so much more body horror, plants in the manga unlike in Stampede do not conform to standard tetrapod anatomy so you have like a girl's head connected to 3 human bodies connected to 7 wings and 5 plucked chicken bodies all connected together in a row that's connected to a fleshy blob with random limbs and eyes growing out of it. In Maximum we see the plants connected to hundred of tubes pumping out meat which the humans shovel into carts to carry away. Plants are way freakier in Maximum (so far).

Because of the black and white format of Maximum its very easy to see how the dependent plant's hair going dark during her Last Run is the same as Vash's hair going dark after Junai and Knives getting a black strip after his freakout. In Maximum when a plant goes berserk into a Last Run their hair turns black and her abdomen swells to form a similar structure to the angel arm. In Stampede I wonder how they will handle this since the angel arm imagery was absent and the plants turned red for their Last Run which connects them with the red geranium motif and Vash's coat but would remove the connection if they choose to keep Vash's black hair.

I don't think one is better than the other especially since Stampede is at most only 1/3 done but I do see it as a series of trade offs. Stampede (so far) chooses to highlight certain aspects like the resource scarcity and ideological competition to survival, colonization, and fertility. Maximum meanwhile emphasizes the Christianity and eldritch horror aspects of the series.

#trigun #trigun stampede #trigun maximum

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danbensen · 1 year

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An Extrusian, for Fellow Tetrapod.

Pictured is a pyramid made of layers of crystallized mucus, atop which sits a clear globe like a fish bowl. Curled inside the bowl is the actual Extrusian, a long, thin, scale-less creature like a hagfish or lamprey. Its eyes are large and its mouth is a vertical slit running down the middle of its snout.

If you want to read about it now, its chapter in Fellow Tetrapod has already been posted on my Patreon. If you want to read it for free, go to Royal Road and wait until Wednesday.

#fellow tetrapod #daniel m. bensen #speculative evolution #specbio #science fiction #serial novel #royal road

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spidermanifested · 8 months

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returning to the concept of greed playlists: im actually really proud of the one ive been working on. its not "done" yet, in the sense that i like to make my character playlists go in chronological order and theres still comparatively few songs representing the latter half of his arc, but what ive got so far is very solid in my humble imho. so. heres a big post with all the songs ive got in it so far, particularly relevant lyric excerpts, and explanations for how they fit into my Grand Vision

act i: greed the avaricious

softy by kiltro

there's a boy who stalks these halls, he never leaves and when he talks, he talks a lot always by mistake there's a man who runs the show you never see and where he walks, all our breathing stops, how he quiets things

i figured this was a good one to start off the playlist, it sets up the quiet unease of greeds existence. also starting with a song called "softy" on a playlist about the Ultimate Shield and building everything else on top of that is a move of genius i think

shadow's keeper by black rebel motorcycle club

what is the purpose if you feel so incomplete? what is the reason if it beats you to your knees? what do you keep? your eyes were wide but there's a world that keeps you blind a painted serpent turning water into wine seeking light

hes starting to acknowledge how unfulfilled he feels, and the shadow/light motifs are an extra treat considering he uses the metaphor himself. ive done my best to continue that theme throughout the playlist. especially fun if you take the "painted serpent turning water into wine" as the "world that keeps (him) blind" AND the thing "seeking light", aka father, and combine that with the later verse:

you're begging for the truth but now you've seen too much you're living in your head but never feel their touch and everything was buried by the deep blue sky help me to breathe 'cause I don't wanna see the light just tell me to breathe 'cause I don't wanna be denied

he doesnt want whatever grand plans father has in store, he wants a family that cares about him. truth mentioned also, as well, give it up for the truth

willard! by will wood

i've never understood what humans do and want it's quite confusing to me to try to connect never learned how I should feel, instincts somehow stunted just seem haunted by my stupid urge to protect

replace "humans" with homunculi and you have a whole song about how his chimeras are the only ones who really get him. "being haunted by (his) stupid urge to protect" is also such a greed line

hast thou considered the tetrapod by the mountain goats

and alone in my room i am the last of a lost civilization and i vanish into the dark and rise above my station

he, father and the other homunculi quite literally are the last of a lost civilization. also

held under these smothering waves by your strong and thick-veined hand but one of these days i'm gonna wriggle up on dry land

^these lines make me cry on their own already and when i place them in greedcontext it has an effect

what's a devil to do? by harley poe

oh, when the saints go marching in i won't be there, 'cause I love my sin am i so bad that you hate me? there was a time when i could see my hopes and dreams, they are no more i'm not a rich man, but blessed are the poor oh man, forgive me, i turned away i won't come back, so i'll have to pay

i dont think i have to expound on how this relates to greed very much do i. entire song about your inherently sinful nature making you unfit for your home

act ii: taking on the world

could have been me by the struts

don't wanna live as an untold story rather go out in a blaze of glory i can't hear you, i don't fear you i'll live now 'cause the bad die last dodging bullets with your broken past i can't hear you, i don't fear you now

the tiger! he destroyed his cage! the tiger is out!!!!

i by kendrick lamar

and i love myself (the world is a ghetto with big guns and picket signs) i love myself (but it can do what it want whenever it want, i don't mind) i love myself

hes seen how much pain society has in it at this point, but he still has no regrets about leaving home. for the first time in his life hes starting to fill the void in his soul

i want it all by queen

i'm a man with a one track mind so much to do in one lifetime (people do you hear me) not a man for compromise and where's and why's and living lies so i'm living it all, yes i'm living it all and i'm giving it all, and i'm giving it all

the first of several songs about Wanting Everything because you have to have songs about wanting everything in a greed playlist. but thats not the only reason this one fits, youve got the "not wanting to live a lie" part, as well as talking about giving instead of just taking

raise hell by dorothy

young blood, run like a river young blood, never get chained young blood, heaven need a sinner you can't raise hell with a saint young blood, came to start a riot don't care what your old man say young blood, heaven hate a sinner but we gonna raise hell anyway

hes way past young at this point but theres always room for a Fuck You Dad song

emperor's new clothes by panic! at the disco

welcome to the end of eras ice has melted back to life done my time and served my sentence dress me up and watch me die if it feels good, tastes good, it must be mine

this is maybe The classic greed song. everybody knows its about him. the only difference in opinion with the masses i really have is that even though emperor is in the title it really fits more as a pre-nest wild party era greed song than a greedling era song because at no point during the winter road trip does he get to engage in the songs brand of lavish hedonism. hes too busy being depressed

also its fun that it has the word decapitated in it. when, you know

the man by the killers

i know the score like the back of my hand them other boys, i don't give a damn they kiss on the ring, i carry the crown nothing can break, nothing can break me down

obligatory Toxic Masculinity Song. some of the lines about not taking advice dont really apply here because this is greed "looks to his minions for social advice in the middle of a kidnapping" the avaricious but he does have his weird chivalry thing and also a lot of baggage around his own vulnerability. i also think its funny to put in a song where he brags about his dick

thrift shop by macklemore

imma take your grandpa's style, imma take your grandpa's style no, for real, ask your grandpa, can i have his hand-me-downs?

unfortunately this is definitely a greed song.

mr. pinstripe suit by big bad voodoo daddy

now he strolls through the city like a big ol' alley cat with his pinstripe suit and a big bad voodoo hat i don't believe i ever saw him without a kitten on his hand and no one swings as hard to the big bad voodoo band

the time period doesnt quite line up but the Vibe is there. hes making a name and a reputation for himself and hes looking good doing it

busy earnin' by jungle

you think that all your time is used too busy earnin' you can't get enough

a more uncertain interlude. the melody doesnt falter but the lyrics ask if this is really what he wants out of life. after all, he has a long time, but he doesnt have forever.

everybody loves me by onerepublic

don't need my health got my name and got my wealth, i stare at the sun just for kicks all by myself, i lose track of time, so i might be past my prime, but i'm feelin' oh so good, yeah

this answers the question the previous song posed with a "psssh, ill think about it later"

i want it by viv and the revival

in the stores make it rain 'cause it's wet like a dream (a-wooo) cars, boats, big house, everything in between (a-wooo) i don't know i don't care i don't give but i can share, so i'll make you scream make you believe that you can have anything, anything!

another "i want everything" song that stands out by mentioning wanting someone else to have things too. still not really addressing the uncertainty yet in favor of continuing to fuck around

gimme! gimme! gimme! (a man after midnight) by abba

gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight won't somebody help me chase the shadows away? gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight take me through the darkness to the break of the day

well? give him a man after midnight

i'll rust with you by steam powered giraffe

i'll rust with you i'll rust with every one of you nostalgic nights have got me feelin' its all gone, gone, gone to rust

song about being immortal and watching all your relationships fade away before your eyes as the decades roll past? dont mind if i do

highwayman by the highwaymen

i was a highwayman along the coach roads i did ride with sword and pistol by my side many a young maid lost her baubles to my trade many a soldier shed his lifeblood on my blade the bastards hung me in the spring of '25 but i am still alive

by this point hes been living among humans long enough to have racked up a considerable number of deaths. but hes still around. he'll always be around. Or Will He

act iii: coming together

red right hand by nick cave & the bad seeds

you don't have no money? he'll get you some you don't have no car? he'll get you one you don't have no self-respect, you feel like an insect well don't you worry buddy 'cause here he comes through the ghettos and the barrio and the bowery and the slum a shadow is cast wherever he stands stacks of green paper in his red right hand

the tone of the song is sinister. within the context of this playlist i am envisioning it as entirely literal. whats up with this weird guy and his red right hand. well he got me a new car so he cant be all that bad. he definitely casts a shadow wherever he stands but you know itd be kind of weird if he didnt

this marks the beginning of his quest to find lasting friends minions. clearly just bribing them wont really work

evil friends by portugal. the man

it's not because the light here is brighter and it's not that I'm evil i just don't like to pretend that i could ever be your friend

return of the light motif and the cataclysmic collision of greeds refusal to lie and his refusal to accept the most basic truth about himself. hes gotten to the point where hes able to recognize that who he is isnt a bad thing, but he still cant connect the dots and understand that he was lied to from the start about who he is at all. so he says shit like this with full confidence

let me bathe in demonic light by the mountain goats

someday the old flesh will give way to the new find a functioning mirror inside and slip right through and there, there i'll be and who, who's coming with me? to show me my one true face when i arrive at my preordained place

the light theme continues, and illustrates the fact that in starting to seek out immortality he's retreading the same ground as father-- making the same mistakes. the hunger, as the lyrics explain, runs "deep in the bloodline". just like father, he cant do it alone, and calls on others to join him, while the lyrics run in direct contrast to the past song by saying the word "friend" multiple times. this will continue

amy aka spent gladiator 1 by the mountain goats

i hide down in my corner because i like my corner i am happy where the vermin play

i might wind up relocating this somewhere else on the playlist at some point but right now the sound fits well in this part so. song about Coping, and not necessarily coping healthily or well. but hes surviving, with his little crimelord hobby

if i lead by kiltro

show me the ways that you talk and all of the places you walk if i lead would you follow? let me at the corners where the light don’t touch colors, figures sway love, they might lift you away from the street to what’s under and everything that scatters by the light of day

weve got light again folks! this ones (very plainly i should think) about recruiting the gang. he asks for their trust and brings them down into the underbelly of dublith.

modern jesus by portugal. the man

don't pray for us we don't need no modern jesus to roll with us the only rule we need is never giving up the only faith we have is faith in us

the Greed Crucifixion jokes are hilarious but this song i think fits very well as a refusal by the nest to treat him as anything but an equal, at least in terms of his being a homunculus. they dont want a god, they want a boss and an ally and a friend.

bourbon street by jeff tuohy

every night we throw this little soiree i'm gonna turn her head until she's mine, all mine every night I breed a new disaster might be right, might be wrong try to get away and i will bring you right along

another party song, this time with hints that being on his side isnt totally safe, and he might not be as in-control as he makes himself out to be. everyones having fun, though. for now!

guys on every corner by the mountain goats

with your tabloid stars and your unmarked cars with your special forces and your inside sources with your radar fields and your riot shields and heavy horses i'm coming to swat you down like flies 'cause i got guys

come at him, government. hes got guys.

act iv: the downfall

alligator teeth by mother falcon

i will turn my friends to gold for the treasury to hold them safely while they dream

a sudden shift in musical style to something way more... i dont quite know how to describe it but its soft at first and then turns frantic and its generally not the kind of music i would typically listen to for Fun but in the context of the events leading up to the raid i think the sound works to illustrate the confusion and fear. immortality, i think, was never just for greed. he wanted to protect his friends too. the lyrics start to repeat "i don't wanna ever dream", and then "'cause all it ever leads me to is bad things, bad things"-- this desire is exactly what gets them all killed.

king rat by modest mouse

we spun like birds on fire right down towards the residence, and i i took all that I desired, even crooks have to pay the rent we swam like rats on fire right, right down the reservoir we took all that we could carry, but we tried to carry more and you know, you know, you know it all went wrong

the musical panic continues into the next song, which describes a burglary gone sideways and perfectly captures the raid. greed tried to bite off more than he could chew and paid the price for it. plenty of the lyrics can be directly associated with the situation-- the "king rat" who "has (greed) on his list again", the "deep water" he's sinking in, the claim that he was "honest even when he cheated them". i dont think id be able to find a more fitting song for this part if i looked for a year

going to hell by the pretty reckless

father did you miss me don't ask me where i've been you know i know, yes, i've been told i redefine a sin i don't know what's driving me to put this in my head maybe i wish i could die, maybe i am dead and he said for the lives that i fake, i'm going to hell for the vows that i break, i'm going to hell

barring any better future options this song has provided the title for the whole playlist-- "redefine a sin". the in-context priest being called father really elevates this one, if the whole premise wasnt enough to begin with. a+ greedsong

heretic pride by the mountain goats

and i start laughing like a child and i mark their faces one by one transfiguration's going to come for me at last and i will burn hotter than the sun

maybe greeds emotional state is a little different from the narrator here, but overall this is a certified Song to Get Put in the Soup To

act v: rebirth

still feel. by half alive

floating in outer space, have i misplaced a part of my soul? lost in the in-between, or so it seems, i'm out of control floating in outer space, have i misplaced a part of my soul? lost in the in-between, but it can't keep me asleep for long 'cause i still feel alive

i can so vividly picture the animatic to this one. greeds little soulface flipping around in the stone. zooming in on fathers weird eyeball as he cries him out and puts him in different guys. the last verse being him coming to life again in lings body. why dont i have 7 million dollars

same man i was before by oingo boingo

i'm not the same boy I was before but I haven't changed my desires i've not extinguished the fires i haven't lost wide-eyed wonder i haven't lost, haven't lost, haven't lost that stupid fear of thunder

AND everyone keeps telling him everything he does is wrong. cut that out

ドーナツホール ft. GUMI by hachi

いつからこんなに大きな | When was it that I got these memories, 思い出せない記憶があったか | These big ones I can't remember? どうにも憶えてないのを | Out of what I just can't recall, ひとつ確かに憶えてるんだな | There's one thing I remember pretty well もう一回何回やったって | Try one more time, a hundred times, 思い出すのはその顔だ | All I remember is your face それでもあなたがなんだか | And yet you yourself, I'm not sure why, 思い出せないままでいるんだな | But I still can't remember you…

this is the bido song. look up the rest of the lyrics its about bido. i searched bido on japanese twitter one time and saw somebody else saying this song reminded them of greed and bido. its about greed and bido

act vi: memories returned

stronger by the score

set me on fire set me on, set me on fire (whoa, whoa-oh) i'm still alive i'm still a- i'm still alive (whoa) bet you didn't think that i'd come back to life

every single line fits him perfectly. youve all seen @humming-fly's animation right you dont need me to explain. if you havent what are you doing

long way down by black rebel motorcycle club

don't you cry to yourself just to feel like someone who's hit bottom? but you can't run away 'cause the hole that remains will follow don't you care just enough? don't you feel your heart stop? but you can't know what you want

after the emotional high of 'stronger', representing the anger overtaking him as he goes to attack bradley, 'long way down' takes us, well, Down. hes is so fucking sad. but he cant know what he wants! now more than ever! because to admit it would mean admitting he lost it!!!

clean slate by the mountain goats

rest until you're rested, climb back onto the caravan remember at your peril, forget the ones you can and then just when you think you've learned how to forget you learn it's just the ones who haven't risen to the surface yet

this is The Roadtrip Song. hes sorting through his memories and struggling the entire time. i owe john "the mountain" goats my life for continuing to make ten million songs about extremely specific situations. ideally id have so many more songs in this category but until i find more this is it for the time being

act vii: final sacrifice

human heart by thao

god damn your crooked mouth and lean your fear is a bullet in the wing is it so brave? tell me, is it so brave? the private posture of the self homemade

with this, we skip ahead to the final fight and the moment when he decides to sacrifice himself. shout out to whoever transcribed "eat and won't you be hungry" as "ethan won't you be hungry" on the spotify lyrics for this one, i dont know who ethan is but i hope he has a good lunch. what was i talking about. oh right

children play with fire by mischief brew

children lead us to the lake of fire (fire!) children lead us to the lake of fire (fire!) and as we drive down into the flames maybe I'll let you hold the reins

change da world... his final message. goodb ye

epilogue

just one more by mad caddies

no necesito la vida rica (i don't need the rich life) estoy contento contigo (i'm happy with you) 'cause in the end we all go the same place, yeah so i'll be happy with what i know

like the title says: just one more. because whatever form it takes, he IS partying it up in that shitty bar in the sky. and all his friends are there too.

like i said i would very much prefer to have more songs in the latter parts so if anybody has recommendations. please rant at me about the songs you associate with greed. and if i can fit them in i will. this post took me all day to make i have got to get some follower interaction out of it

#fullmetal alchemist (fullmetal alchemist)

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