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bungobble-my-balls · 7 months

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What if Fyodor possessed Sigma wouldn't that be crazy hahah

So with the Jesus allegory from the last episode he doesn't get completely reincarnated, but a copy of himself is made within Sigma from the information transfer, and it's almost like he's reincarnated.

OK hear me out

I don't think this is actually what's going to happen with the anime, but I DO think this plot is plausible enough that it could happen in one of bsd's many canon alternate timelines.

So you know how Fyodor did the whole 'help me I'm innocent and the real Fyodor has taken over my body 🥺' stchick to trick Sigma? OK so in this scenario let's say that's actually foreshadowing.

Fyodor's ability, although I'm not exactly sure what it is, based on theories seems to involve him being able to make another version of himself. Some people even believe he can put a version of himself inside of someone to kill them from the inside (I don't have the exact reasoning but there are theories just go with it).

After Sigma uses his ability on Fyodor to gain EVERY one of Fyodor's secrets and everything about him, he passes out from information overload as we know. What if in this coma state, Sigma and Fyodor's abilities are combining (Sigma gaining all of Fyodor's knowledge, Fyodor putting a version of himself inside of Sigma), and this creates a version of Fyodor created just from the knowledge Sigma gained of him. This version takes over the body, and when 'Sigma' wakes up its actually a new version of Fyodor (especially because Fyodor would be made of more knowledge than Sigma considering their lifespans, so Fyodor's consciousness could be more powerful).

So it's not like a ghost possession situation, it's an ability possession similar to what happened with Shibusawa.

So 'Sigma' walks out of Mersault, maybe during whatever chaos happens in the 2 hours, and sees Nikolai still holding the original Fyodor's arm.

Nikolai is shocked to see Sigma alive and awake, but then soon finds out that it's actually Fyodor (or a copy of him) in Sigma's body. Fyodor doesn't know about any events that happened before the information transfer, so he doesn't know about Dazai getting shot, Chuuya and Dazai's plan, or his original self dying. So Nikolai fills him in on that.

At that point, Fyodor realises he'll need to stay underground again for some time before he can get back at Dazai and continue his mission. It's helpful though that everyone believes he's dead and that he looks different, since people won't be looking for him.

So Fyodor and Nikolai go underground together this time, because with the DOA now in shambles Nikolai is Fyodor's only ally. And Sigma is currently trapped in his body, but in a limbo between consciousness and unconsciousness. His own conscious is in his body being relayed information over and over to keep him in an overloaded state.

Also for this AU Fyolai are still repressed homosexuals (Nikolai a little less after his post Fyodor death speech but still repressed enough), because even if I'm putting Sigma through a body possession plot I'm not gonna have his body be in the middle of Fyolai kissing I wouldn't do that to him.

Fyodor intends to find a way to get a body for himself, and they bring along Fyodor's arm and find a way to attach it to him again as a start (I thought about a Mary Shelley character having an ability to do this, but I forgot she already exists so I'm still thinking about how they'd do this).

I can also imagine Fyodor using Sigma's appearance to fuck with Dazai as a part of his plan later on. Maybe he takes more of his acting classes and even pretends to be Sigma at some point in the future.

#bsd #sorry Sigma my bbgorl I swear I love you but you have to suffer a little bit #obviously in a vary far of future in this AU Sigma gets his body back but this AU is a way for Fyodor to come back for some time and have-#-it fit with the current foreshadowing that we have #sigma #fyodor #Nikolai #decay of angels #doa #bsd spoilers #bsd season 5 episode 11 #bungou stray dogs

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g4rchomp · 1 year

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I internalized the "homosexual underground" thought at the funniest moment in disco elysium. I was almost done with it when unexpected trouble that almost cost me my life and changed the trajectory of the investigation happened. it made me gain some exp so when I emerged back to consciousness the first thing I was notified about was that I had a breakthrough abt my homosexual thoughts lol

#disco elysium #disco elysium spoilers #having a near death experience will make u think abt homosexuality. alrighty 👍#sorry i say me when i talk abt harry our personalities merge when i play but that's the least of his worries 😌

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stylinsoninnit28 · 1 month

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Justice for Queer Individuals in the Entertainment Industry: Behind the Glamour

It may often appear, that the entertainment industry, with all its glitz, glamour and bourgeoisie ideologies, is a beacon of acceptance and progressiveness. The short contradiction to that would be, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”. The long contradiction will be discussed in this essay that attempts to highlight the grave injustice meted out by various individuals, who take advantage of the hierarchies present in this industry, to members of minorities, specifically the queer community, who need just as much space, representation and respect in all forums as white cis-gendered heterosexual people do. Beneath the facade of the pretty people with all the money in the world, in a near dystopian illusion (referencing the Capitol from The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins, 2008), is the harsh reality of controlling charlatans who, through the means of contracts, lies and multiple inhuman methods, wield authority over the “idols” of today, owing to their avarice and desire to constantly gain, bearing no thought or sympathy to the people we see and falsely believe to be the luckiest in the world. Scratching just the shell of the history, the truth behind this surprisingly shallow image of glitter and allure is frankly terrifying and continues to shock all who research through the hidden depth of this industry, that such backward mindsets could be possible in spaces that are often seen as TOO liberal at times. In this essay, I will attempt to delve into the challenges faced by the people trapped in this industry and advocate for justice and reform to ensure they receive access to basic human rights and dignity.

A Brief History and the Struggle Against Power Dynamics in the Industry

A History of the Struggle for Justice for Queer Rights in the Industry. This struggle for LGBTQIA+ rights in the entertainment industry is not a recent phenomenon. This relatively new field has seen activists rising in rebellion ever since the introduction of the Hollywood Production Code (also known as the Hays Code) in 1930. This set of industry censorship guidelines, enforced by the Motion Picture Production Code, aimed to regulate the content of films to ensure they were ‘morally wholesome’ and acceptable to a broader audience. Homosexuality was explicitly prohibited and any portrayal would have led to censorship and blacklisting, forcing queer characters and stories underground, relegating them to subtext or coded language. If queer characters did appear, they were often depicted in a stereotypical and/or derogatory manner, portraying them as villains, sexual predators or as objects of ridicule. The silencing and erasure of queer voices and experiences from the most observed and followed enterprise reinforced societal stigma and discrimination against queer individuals, hindering significant progress towards acceptance and equality. Despite, or perhaps because of, its restrictive nature, the Hays Code spurred resistance within the industry which continues even today. Although the HPC has now been replaced by the film rating system, the continued struggle to represent the LGBTQIA+ community well and as fairly as heteronormativity, persists in trying to make the industry a safer place for queer-identifying artists.

Power Dynamics and Its Role in Injustice Towards Queer Artists. The entertainment industry is notorious for its power dynamics, where a few in power wield an immense influence over the careers of the professionals of today. Closeted queer individuals are often held at the mercy of their agents, managers and/or executives, a result of a glaring imbalance of power, who pressure them to preserve their ‘straight image’ to maintain their marketability (and hence keep their pockets full), especially male pop artists whose target audience generally consists of young teenage girls. Signed contracts are often the bane of these artists who could have anything from legal action taken against them to being blacklisted in a way that could lead to them being cut off from further roles, working with other individuals, or being able to continue in the industry in any setting, as a consequence for breaking even a clause on said contract.

The entertainment industry is interconnected in a way that all the biggest powers work in a coalition and cooperation, so standing in defiance to one would mean defiance to all, which would not be brushed away easily. Agents or managers are the ones who provide opportunities within the entertainment industry, controlling access to roles, projects, and promotions, resulting in their authority over the works of musicians, actors and other professionals, forcing these artists to conform to heteronormative standards, leading to them concealing their sexuality and/ or gender identities to prevent putting their success at risk. A perceived commercial appeal takes the forefront as opposed to genuineness or authenticity. To further their interests, powers in the industry encourage and/ or coerce queer artists into maintaining a more mainstream image to attract fans. Discrimination is still an unfortunate reality, and facing backlash from others, industry insiders or the general public, resulting in career stagnation, is still a fear for many. Threats of reputational damage, career disruption or exposure are some of the forms of abusive manipulation used to force professionals in the industry to comply with the will and authority of those in power.

The Mental Impact of Being Closeted in the Industry

There is no doubt that being forcibly closeted would result in profoundly negative effects on one’s mental health, as individuals grapple with the emotional toll of having to conceal their authentic selves in an unforgiving environment with literally everything that they have worked towards at stake. The pressure to maintain heteronormative standards is not an easy task, considering that one has to suppress one of the most integral parts of one’s identity. Naturally, anxiety and stress turn up in undercurrents as the artist navigates the delicate balance of authenticity and survival. Living in a constant fear of being exposed, ostracized or discriminated against will lead to the development of stress. Isolating oneself would also result from a fear of putting careers at risk from being too loud, which could exacerbate feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness which could, in turn, escalate into depression. For many closeted individuals, the act of having to conceal their sexuality or gender identity can create a profound sense of internal conflict, identity confusion and impostor syndrome. Questioning one’s worth, leading through a spiral of self-doubt and uncertainty about their identity or future is an unfortunately common happening. This internal turmoil could lead to them seeking solace in unhealthy coping mechanisms through self-harm (substance abuse or physically hurting oneself), providing a temporary escape or a means to exert control over one’s emotions or as a ‘punishment’ for their ‘shortcomings’ from the pain of having to hide and pretend to be someone that they are not. In some extreme cases, the psychological strain could even lead to suicidal ideation and behaviour. The feeling of being trapped and hopeless can become overwhelming, making suicide the only perceivably plausible method of escape.

Case Studies of Experiences of Queer Individuals in the Industry

Elton John

(The cover page of the edition of the Rolling Stones magazine, 1976, where Elton John came out as bisexual)

An example of someone who was forced to maintain an image of heteronormativity but then later came out and expressed his story of being a closeted gay man in the music industry due to societal pressures to conform is Sir Elton John. Throughout his early career, Elton John struggled with his sexual orientation, grappling with feelings of shame and self-doubt in a world that rejected and marginalized queer individuals. As part of his closeting, John was forced to marry Renate Blauel, amid widespread speculation about his sexuality. Blauel was his beard, the marriage, a façade, as John continued to explore his attraction to men behind closed doors. In 1976, in a now extremely famous Rolling Stones interview, Elton John publicly embraced his sexuality, then becoming a trailblazer for queer visibility and acceptance. Elton John has spoken on multiple occasions about the struggles of having to suppress his true self due to pressures from the industry and society at that time and thus continues to inspire generations of queer individuals to embrace their identities and stand proud of who they are.

Kit Connor

(Kit Connor, photographed for The Guardian in July 2023, speaking up about forced outing)

In many cases, an individual’s queerness is made their entire personality, leading to their image being seen as nothing more than their sexuality or gender identity, relegating them into niches, resulting in them being viewed in a stereotypical light and pigeonholed into ‘being queer’ with no other facet to their character. Many fear their queerness being seen as a liability and then again, on the opposite end of the spectrum, fear being accused of ‘queerbaiting’, two evils, one no lesser than the other, one pressurizing queer artists to remain closeted, the other forcibly outing them, in most cases when they are not comfortable enough to expose their identity to the world. Kit Connor, a young, up-and-coming actor known for his roles in various film and television projects, was forced out by individuals who accused him of queerbaiting due to his major role in the series Heartstopper, a gay teen high school Netflix show, as a queer Year 11 student, despite his efforts to keep his personal life private, becoming the subject of rumours and speculations regarding his sexuality which intensified when confidential information about his private life was leaked to the media without his consent. Forcible outing perpetuates a culture of fear and discrimination, where individuals feel compelled to conceal their true selves to avoid reprisal, severely undermining efforts towards LGBTQIA+ visibility and acceptance, reinforcing stigmas and prejudice against many in the community that continue to face backlash. In response to his ordeal, Kit Connor has spoken out against this practice, advocating for greater respect for individuals’ autonomy, serving as a rallying cry for the call to a change within the entertainment industry, urging the insiders and the public alike to recognise and respect the rights of queer individuals to live authentically and on their terms without having to fear persecution.

Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles (Larry Stylinson)

(Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles, photographed on stage at Sheffield on October 31st, 2015)

Arguably the biggest boyband in the world, One Direction, had and continues to have its fair share of forced closeting. Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles, two members of the group currently on hiatus, are widely accepted to have been in a relationship since 2011. From being saddled with a womanizing image to a fake pregnancy, the media portrayed images of the two men are far from being the truth. So, while Louis was imposed with the image of being in a long-term straight relationship, Harry was portrayed as a serial dater with a preference for older women. His first stunt was at the age of 17 when he ‘dated’ the then 32-year-old Caroline Flack, a relationship that was wrong on so many levels, a fact recognized by even those who did not believe in Harry’s closeting. Louis and Harry then took to expressing their love through complementary tattoos, obvious sarcasm and their lyrical prowess. Once the band went on their break, the two have never been seen together in public (discounting Styles’ presence at Tomlinson’s performance of his newly released single ‘Just Hold On’ on the X Factor in December 2016), and the portrayal of their relationship turned to ‘mortal enemies who mutually respect each other’ as opposed to the ‘bro dude-bro pal’ image that was being sold in One Direction. Besides the obvious stunting in terms of dating, Louis also ‘had a son’, another popular method by the industry to annul the possibility of questions concerning an artist’s sexuality arising. Odd coincidences that don’t seem to add up to the story of ‘his’ child have never been explained, leading one to naturally conclude that Louis is not a father, unlike the media’s propagation of the subject. Harry, in a surprisingly candid manner, once opened up in a Rolling Stones interview (circa August 2022), saying, “Sometimes people say, ‘You’ve only publicly been with women,’ and I don’t think I’ve publicly been with anyone.”

Speaking about lyrics, both artists have been rather explicitly pointing to each other through their songs in their current solo released albums. For example, in his 2020 debut album, ‘Walls’, Tomlinson sings “Come so far from Princess Park”, on the 7th track, ‘Habit’, which is in direct reference to the area where Styles and he first moved in together. Styles sings “I remember back at Jonny’s place”, a reference to Tomlinson’s good friend who became a mutual one through the years of their relationship, in his 2022 album, ‘Harry’s House’s’ 13th track ‘Love of My Life’. Louis, who is on his second world tour, consistently sings “I love HIM” during his song ‘Back To You’, despite the original lyric being “I love IT”.

Multiple incidents, that would make a thesis by itself, occur and have occurred in a way that does not leave room for doubt that Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles were and are in a relationship, but the injustice and aversion of the industry towards queer artists and queer-friendly spaces within the professional fields affiliated with their work leads to these two artists to have remained closeted for the past 13 years and counting.

Conclusion

At the heart of this journey towards justice for queer individuals in this industry, lies the need for a collective awakening, transcending the confines of conformity and tradition. Policymakers and other leaders in this industry wield the tools of legislation and could be architects of change for the better, crafting a framework that safeguards the rights and dignity of all individuals, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Yet, true transformation requires more than mere rhetoric or legislative force, demanding a radical shift in the consciousness of the general public as well. Embracing diversity and championing inclusivity must be the pillars of our collective identity and unity. Confronting the entrenched power dynamics that continue to perpetuate the closet despite the constant progress through the years, a culture of empathy and understanding, as opposed to judgment and hate, must be cultivated, recognizing that each individual, regardless of station or circumstance, possesses an inherent worth deserving of recognition and respect. Amplify the voices of those who have been silenced. Sow the seeds of empathy and compassion. Nurture authenticity and truth. This will become a reality, as a spotlight is shone on injustice and change is demanded once passive observation turns into a fight for justice in all sectors, active participation to aid in an unfolding story of human liberation and equality.

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wrvtchedhearts · 2 months

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ROHAN KOTHARE - the basorexic

Stats --

FULL NAME: Rohan Kothare

AGE & DATE OF BIRTH: 33 -- March 14th

OCCUPATION: underground fighter, singer

UNDERBOSS OF JADE TRIBE

GENDER & PRONOUNS: cis-man, he/him

SEXUALITY: homosexual, homoromantic

LANGUAGES: Marathi, Hindi, English

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single & lonely

FC: kapil talwalkar

Biography / Headcanons --

Born and raised in Khandala, Maharashtra, India. Rohan was adopted by the local fighter boss and his wife, learning from a very young age how to fight, and how to keep a group of people in check. His adopted father was a legend around the town, not leading a gang but definitely in charge. As a result, Rohan had to make sure to step out of his father's shadow.

[ murder mention tw ] He managed to solidify his name three times, once when he won a brawl against his father - with luck on his side - at age thirteen, a year later when he took revenge on all the five men who had participated in murdering his family, and even later when he took on the biggest criminal in town, ensuring that at twenty-four he was the one the criminals listened to, the one they were all afraid of. He knew he didn't need to look strong, he just had to beat up the right people. And he needed to value those around him, his friends and colleagues.

[ homophobia tw ] All of what he did was done to divert everyone's attention from his heart. He knew he'd been abandoned by his birth parents because they thought he was too weak, too feminine. His adoptive parents didn't care, but his father made it clear that boys like him didn't have the freedom to be who they were. So if he wanted to follow his heart, he had to do it in secret. His secret came out eventually, and once it did, it resulted in the retaliation from his own gang. Not even his friends could see past this, unable to see it as anything but a betrayal. Perhaps it was, perhaps if he'd trusted in them that they wouldn't judge him, he could've stopped it from happening.

Instead he sought refuge abroad, attempting to get as far away from his home as he could, landing in NYC mostly by chance.

He has been in NYC for six years, and he's had to build himself up again through the ranks of the Jade Tribe. Something he saw only as a challenge, after all, he had to convince others of the skills he had. Keeping a crew in order, gaining loyalty, fighting. Rohan looked like an idiot, and he'd always used that to his advantage, appearing in the face of anyone like he couldn't possibly be taken seriously, and beating them at their own game in turn.

He likes to kiss people, not necessarily romantically, but just as a show of affection. Especially with friends, he tends to give them little head kisses. Three kisses on the cheek when meeting people, and so forth. He's called the basorexic for a reason.

Has a shiba inu called Walter.

He loves pancakes, weird sex, and doing renditions of bollywood movies.

Chaotic good.

tba

#lawlessintro #rohanintro #intros

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57sfinest · 1 year

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What do you think that Thoughts for characters other than Harry would be like? For example, what Thoughts would be in Kim's Thought Cabinet?

so the thing about harry's sheet build- the skills, the clothing modifiers, the thought cabinet- is that i personally think these are things specific to harry. obviously the discrete skills and thoughts are a gameplay mechanic to us, but we see gameplay mechanics contextualized to harry's lived experience: internalizing white mourning gives you an increased zoom distance, which is a gameplay mechanic to us, but it's justified in harry's world as a consequence of his dissociative disorder. so i think the discrete thoughts are a result of harry's mind compartmentalizing things to help him cope, and also in some circumstances as him ruminating on his perspective or new memories that are changing/being revealed after his amnesia. so because of that, realistically i don't know that anyone who doesn't have harry's special cocktail of mental illnesses + amnesia would really have a brain functioning in terms of "skills" and "capital-T Thoughts".

that's the boring realistic answer though. if you want the fun "what if everyone was like harry" answer then obviously everyone's thought cabinet is going to be very different, thoughts would be triggered by major life events or perspective shifts and occasionally some baseline stuff (concepts similar to volumetric shit compressor and one more door and homosexual underground. yknow. stuff pretty much everyone goes through or thinks about.)

i think kim's thought cabinet would be a lot less abstract and dynamic than harry's and it would take more for kim to de-internalize a thought. as for his specific thoughts i'd like to take some time to think and come back to it, but he definitely has one that's just like. kim meets harry, talks to him for 5 minutes, and is immediately rewarded with:

THOUGHT GAINED

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY

PROBLEM: No, like, seriously. You were expecting a pissing competition, not... whatever this is. Are they trying to make a joke out of you? Saddle you with someone useless so you can't do your job? That's fine, you can power through, except-- why won't he tell you his name? What the hell does he mean by "it is not yet time"? Whatever. Just call him detective until we get this all sorted out.

#kiwipost #this was fun to answer thank you!!#real talk harry's mindscape is the way it is because he has to compartmenalize everything to cope and not. yknow. kill himself 5x/day #but landmark events are different for everyone and i think that's what a thought cabinet would be characterized by #so it's interesting to consider!#unfortunately(?) for harry he was born 1 day ago so everything is landmark to him #ask #kk meta #hdb meta

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felicereviews · 1 year

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Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970) 109 minutes, Rated X

This movie was grand in the best way. Pretty boys and girls, crazy people, a big reveal at the end with some of the ultra violence. If I had to guess why I never thought to watch this before it would be because I always found Valley of the Dolls kind of sad and sometimes I hate sequels. But Beyond the Valley of the Dolls is not a sequel, it's not sad, and it's so zany that I watched it two times in a row.

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls shows up in both of my cult movie books that I have been working through - '100 Cult Films' and 'TCM Underground'. Also, John Waters does an interview on the Criterion release blu-ray that is full of accolades for the director and producer, Russ Meyer. He even gives a nod to the writer saying 'this is the best thing that Roger Ebert ever did'. I looked back at Ebert's film credits and yes - for sure - there's nothing better in Ebert's filmography than Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.

The story is about a chick rock band and their manager and what happens to them when they decide to come to Hollywood. They meet my absolute favourite character in any of these cult films so far, Z-Man, Ronnie Barzell, played by John Lazar. For real, Johnny Lazar could have just left his name alone - but I loved Z-Man and his Shakespearean dialog, lavish parties, succubus friends, and bold choices of evening wear.

The girls gain some success as musicians. The music is actually great in this picture. I'd love to have the soundtrack. The success brings changes and lovers and drama. There are two separate scenes where two different pairs of lovers run through a grassy meadow. I wondered, how come they are not falling? Oh - John Waters showed how he copied one of those running in the grass scenes with Divine and Tab Hunter in Polyester. It's a tribute more than a copy. He loved Russ Meyer movies.

All in all - I loved this picture and I think it's time you watched or re-watched it. Oh - don't ask me why it's rated X. John Waters' guess was the reveal at the end - which I won't give away. Roger Ebert said it was because in the early days of the rating system an X rating did not discredit a movie. It was a rating given to movies for adults and not relegated to hardcore pornography like it morphed into. There are plenty of homosexual and heterosexual sexy scenarios, there is plenty of drug use, and there is some good violence but an X rating? Nah.

Please watch it and tell me what you think. I don't want to be the only one humming 'Find It' at work tomorrow.

#beyond the valley of the dolls #russ meyer #roger ebert #dolly read #cynthia myers #marcia mcbroom #john lazar #michael blodgett #david gurian #cult movies rule #cult classics

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enriquemzn262 · 2 years

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Hey friend, I hope everything is going well with you and yours. Can you tell us a story?

Kind regards

Back when I was a novice driver, barely a few months after gaining my driver’s license, I was at this mall in Cucuta called Buenavista, doing some errands for dad. I had left my car in the underground parking lot, and was just heading back to it ready to go home, when I hear this horrible screeching sound followed by a hard break, and then a bunch of unintelligible screams of anger, so I got into my car and decided to drive towards the sound just to check it out before leaving.

Lo and behold, I find a fairly new SUV with a flat frontal tire, the whole side of said tire scratched and twisted to hell, as the car had driven into a pillar while attempting to drive off the parking spot it was in, basically the driver turned too much and used the pillar to unintentionally rip the car to shreds, with said driver and his passenger now trying to change the tire.

I thought it was funny but a bit sad, and I honestly intended to just drive off, but then I made eye contact with the driver and realized.

God damn, that’s my flamboyantly homosexual cousin and his partner.

So without saying anything I just parked right next to him, got off, and as soon as I got to him he began pleading and begging for my help, almost in tears, and neither of them actually knew how to change the tire, and he just wanted to go home after fucking up his dad’s car. I of course obliged, and spent the next half an hour recalling my driver’s school lesson on how to change a tire while the two only stood and watched me work, the first time I ever did so outside the one practical lesson we had.

I eventually managed to get the new tire in, and I distinctly remember than rather than thank me, my cousin’s partner was adamant that I washed my hands, now covered in grease, which I declined as I really needed to go home, my cousin did thank me, and as soon as I made sure he could actually get home, I left them here.

And so, 15 years later, every time I go to any underground parking lot and park next to a pillar, I remember that day and how easy it is to just fucking wreck a car by pulling out wrong.

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positivityforlesbians · 2 years

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Sapphic underground made a YouTube post about the pressure put on lesbians to be "inclusive" of males and opposite sex attracted people and the toll it's been taking in our community, and to my great surprise, the majority of the comments on that post are supportive! There's even bi and straight women and gay men showing some love. It's just so nice to see actual lesbian expressing their mind and not getting immediately silenced 🥰

Wow, so I've looked it up and I think you refer to this comment, there is indeed a lot of likes under it !

I am a total fan of Sapphic Underground's channel, I posted one of her videos not as far as a few days ago but I cannot say I thought she would ever address this huge problem targetting our community. This goes to to show we are not making this up, being lesbians that would somehow invent a problem that so many people pretend is not there. I don't think she's super known on the internet, especially by those 2.0 lesbophobes who, let's be honest, generally really don't care about actual lesbian content despite trying their best to be like us, but they still can try to bully her out of her platform the second they all collectively find her to be a bad woman. It wouldn't be the first time. So because of that I think it's important to support her, that comment is brave. I'm glad she got so many likes there, I'm sure it was a positive sign for her to see we are a lot to think just like this and that she did well in speaking up. 👏

We cannot let non-lesbians dicktate to us what our words mean, what makes a lesbian a lesbian, how bigoted we are for not liking penises, how we are doing the worst of the worst for having this sexual orientation (being a lesbian, also known as being a homosexual girl/woman), how we should have our dating apps and in real life lesbian only spaces open to trans women (therefore males, a sex we will never be into) and thus ruining said spaces because even the kindest most gullible lesbians will get tired at some point and leave, seeing the most basic men use that as an excuse to also come in and make these spaces even more unsafe/ simply not lesbian spaces anymore, all of this is something we cannot ignore and so it makes sense she is talking about it. Being a lesbian Youtuber and video artist who focuses on making fun upbeat or poetic lesbian content doesn't make her blind to the modern western lesbian experience, this is pretty good to know ! So thank you for that message anon, more of the followers of this blog may open their eyes to this reality, since it's silenced, made invisible and gaslighted so often.

Why isn't lesbophobia taken any seriously while transphobia is nearly always considered with upper seriousness in lgbt spaces at large ? is the question we should all ask ourselves. It's not treason to think about it, to ask questions, to choose to prioritise our community, lesbians, after realising how much we've been made to suffocate and feel like second class citizens among people supposed to support and uplift us, not the other way round. More and more lesbians will speak out, because the anger keeps growing and nobody can successfully silence us, even if it cost us a platform, popularity, money, anything, we also have things to gain when finally speaking out. Defending lesbians, our reality, our history, our community, will always be a priority. ✨

#anonymous #my answers #lesbian safe #lesbians #lesbian community #lesbophobia #healing

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ziamhaze · 3 years

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My Future in Fic

Yeah, so, the 100k fic that I’ve been working on for the past six months? The one that was going to be uploaded to AO3 last week? Yeah, it’s accidentally getting published...

Where do I start?

I suppose with a massive thank you to anyone who’s clicked on any of my fics over these past two years. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. I never ever thought about writing as a career. I’ve never written anything prior to my Harry Potter AU Compartment 451. I didn’t even take an English class in undergrad or grad school. I genuinely just had an idea for a fic I wanted to read and since no one had written it, I had to do so myself. Since then, I’ve written every single day for 2 years. I left my job in the entertainment industry, got accepted to one of the best creative writing programs in the world on a scholarship, and now one of my stories is being considered at Harper Collins. Yes, the Harper Collins. It’s the longest shot in the world, but for legal reasons I was not allowed to upload the fic version on any website prior to submission. Even if they don’t pick it up, I’ve been advised to continue to shop it around to agents.

What I can do, however, is share the premise.

If you’ve been following my tumblr and watching my tags - I SEE YOU ALL OUT THERE - then you’ll know that this fic was meant to have Zayn with his signature undercut hairstyle and one more little thing...

Someone sent me an ask a while back about what this fic was supposed to be about. I believe I said something about it being an adaptation fic, but not from a film/tv show/other piece of literature, from a song. This next fic was meant to be an adaptation of the song Younger by Ruel. Later on, it also took shape with the help of Remember by Liam and a few others that you can find here.

The miniature summary is as follows:

When his father suddenly passes, twenty-nine-year-old Liam Payne is brought back to the Sydney suburbs where he grew up. He doesn’t plan on seeing his childhood best friend, Zayn Malik, at the burial service. They haven’t spoken since going from brothers to strangers one fateful day fifteen years prior. But Zayn puts an end to this when he approaches Liam after the burial, offering his condolences and asking if Liam can help his archaeological research team with photographing their newest project. The unexpected closeness forces each man to wade through uneasy emotions. For Liam, a mixture of grief, lost identity, and confusion over why he’s willing to interact with the one person he swore he’d never forgive. And for Zayn, a tidal wave of anxiety that comes from finally facing a part of himself he’s always chosen to deny. When We Were Younger is a story heavily rooted in blurred identities and exploring what loss can look like in two different scenarios: death and friendship.

For obvious reasons, their names will be changed. Liam, to Hutton. Zayn, to Cairo (his ethnicity will also be changed to Egyptian). As you can see, it was meant to be my big ‘enemies to lovers’ fic. Technically, it’s ‘best friends to enemies to lovers’, but you know.

Right, so what does this mean for me going forward?

I still have so much inspiration when it comes to writing Zayn and Liam as characters. I don’t plan on putting a complete stop to writing them, but with my career taking this large of a turn, I do have to prioritise my time. That said, as of now, I can’t afford to write long-form fic any longer.

Soon, I’ll be starting a PhD program where I’ll be writing another full-length novel for mass publication. For fun, here’s a little insight on the two ideas that I’ll be pitching:

1. Underground boxer (loosely based off Liam) falls in love with arms gang leader (loosely based off Zayn). Throughout their love story, the latter has to outrun the psychological trauma his father (the leader of Zayn’s rival gang) still throws his way.

2. Cold War AU. Paris, circa 1950/51. Ambassador’s son (loosely based off Liam) befriends new student (loosely based off Zayn) at the international school. Paris is a ticking time bomb; war is about to break out at literally any second. The two clearly have feelings for each other, but can’t act on them because homosexuality in the 1950s...yikes. When war does break out, the two are separated, and as Liam’s character goes out to find Zayn’s, he learns a secret of his that changes everything.

Whichever I don’t write for the PhD will be the novel I write following it.

In the meantime, I’m going to continue to write (and edit) like crazy. Ever since I randomly wrote C451, there hasn't been a day that’s gone by where I haven't written something. It may have only been a paragraph or two, but never zero. This is how you get better. This is the equivalent of going out and shooting free throws for 30 minutes a day. You have to put in the work in order to get better. I'm very lucky that I'm incredibly self-disciplined and I've been able to crank out as many stories as I have over the past 2 years.

That said, I’ll be writing shorter little oneshots. I have several ideas that I’ve been sitting on, but haven’t ever thought to write because I HATE writing short stories. Little ideas that don't have huge plotline/climax potential, but that I want to just see on paper, I'll probably end up writing. If I had to guess, I'd say they'll come out to around 10-15k. Also, sequels? Prequels? Haha, you never know...

I’ve also got a series called “Sleep Drabbles” that are, yes, you guessed it, a series of drabbles based around one theme: sleep. I also have a few scenes that I want to write which are based on ziam’s kids, not actually ziam themselves. If there’s enough demand for that, I can upload those too, but they’re quite niche, so I don’t think the general fandom would be very interested.

As far as frequency for all of this, I have no idea. I’ve always done things at my own pace and written stories that I want to write, for myself. That won’t ever change, so I don’t want to commit to one drabble a week or one short-length fic per month. It takes me weeks (months for this last fic) to research and interview the necessary people to get character arcs correct/believable. I love that part of writing, and so if I have a little story that I want to write that may only be 10k but takes me ages to put together how I want, then so be it. I will always be around to answer asks/messages and please, continue to tag me in your writing tag posts! But please, no prompts.

So, that’s my future with fic.

Again, I cannot say thank you enough to every single one of you. Every single thing that people tag me in (@malik-payne , @zqua1d , @zentiment , @liamisthesun , @redyellowberry I’m looking at you), I appreciate and love! The recommendation lists that people have put me on, THANK YOU! It’s wild to think that I used to look to rec lists for years and now I’m on them. @ziamfanfiction THANK YOU for always having my back with exposure! @paynefulperiods , my beloved beta reader, THANK YOU for always encouraging me and putting up with shit first drafts. @march-z5 , THANK YOU for always being on call for ideas and listening to me bang my head against the wall at 4 am.

Now, might fuck around and make a fake picspam for the fic that never was...

Also, all of the behind scenes pages for each of my fics are now public, so feel free to check those out here.

I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for making this journey possible. I know people say that a lot when they gain a following of any sort, but I truly truly mean it. You have to have talent in order to be an author, but you also have to have people who want to read your stuff. Proof of concept is a real thing.

So thank you a million times over.

Speak soon my friends.

#ziamhaze #my writing #ziam #ziam fanfic #ziam fanfiction #not sure what to tag this #also gonna be reblogging for a while bc I know people are going to be curious about where the next fic is and won't have seen this

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gutterinouterspace · 3 years

Text

The Stars - Patrick Wolf

Maybe Sprout Wings - The Mountain Goats

Familiar - Agnes Obel

Deep Blue - Ladytron

Counting Cards - Rainbow Kitten Surprise

Just Like Sleep - Passarella Death Squad

Nightcall - Kavinsky

Stardust - IAMX

Count Souvenirs - Junior Boys

Into the Black - Chromatics

Dominant Tones: Moody tending towards electronic, good music for going on night drives.

Spotify // Youtube

Liner notes under the cut; this is a pre-canon playlist! The title is from the commonly used fanon Kim skills attributed to this fic on Ao3

Back at it again with another Disco Elysium playlist; this one spans from Kim Kitsuragi’s early days as an orphan in Revachol to the beginning of canon. I got the energy to jump into these notes after the advanced jacket Lore dropped. So let’s get to it, shall we?

I will begin by saying -- I am absolutely shameless about Kim + Stars imagery. Something about the distant yet comforting light of stars in the night, cool and apart yet constant evokes him in a big way. So we open with young!Kim’s mindset in his days at the orphanage with Patrick Wolf’s The Stars. An early memory colored by looking up at the stars and gaining peace. In terms of specifics I love the way the line “Cannot recall where I drove // An empty lane, the lonely road // home” hits for Kim as a reflective memory on now vs. when he hardly had a home/freedom.

I am chronically unable to make a playlist without dropping some Mountain Goats, but this pull is a Kim+ aerostatics escapism one for me: Maybe Sprout Wings. Allow me to convince you with this:

Ghosts and clouds and nameless things Squint your eyes and hope real hard Maybe sprout wings

The mirror imagery evokes parallels with Harry in a way that I like, mostly I think of coming-on-teenage Kim; wishing desperately for an escape.

The next song, Familiar was my longtime favourite on this playlist -- it has a sense of peace yet roiling energy underneath that I associate with Kim. I match up calm piano and iciness with Moralism, so this song speaks to Kim finding peace in that order to life that he aspires to in his youth. There’s another dimension to this though -- my main feeling for Kim is that he’s been longtime at peace with the idea of being gay and the chorus/lyricsreally speak to that...quiet but comfortably “homosexual underground” vibe he has.

And our love is a ghost that the others can't see It's a danger Every shade of us you fade down to keep Them in the dark on who we are (Oh what you do to me) Gonna be the death of me It's a danger

Specifically the slippage of the way the line “Gonna be the death of me” sounds almost like “going to be the devil me” in some passages -- wow, like. Hmm the associations of homosexuality with something evil, the rueful acceptance and peace of the danger with who he is? Yeah.

I pivot into a more electronic sound with Deep Blue which I think of as the entry to Kim joining the RCM -- the rhythm of “deep blue I want to give it all to you // deep blue I know that scares you” and the line “to pretend to be strong” vibe for me in a strange way with the idea of reaching for an early grit in his starting days.

The choice of Counting Cards serves twin purpose -- canonically I think of it as Kim’s own experiences watching gambling/trying to help juvie cases under a backdrop of poverty+despair. The second is a reference to an ongoing fic updating in the tag, Blackjack Boogie, where Kim has a criminal history. I included it because I liked the thought of Kim seeing himself at moments in the juvie criminals and pushing that away hard being something that haunts him.

Just Like Sleep is another intense driving mood. Fifteen years! You ever think about Kim, intensely talented and professional (terminal) cop (acab) stuck in the juvie department for fifteen FUCKING years? God. Same. This is meant to evoke that vibe of “oh god I’m stuck in this. I’m stuck in this and there’s no exit”. I chronically add Nightcall to lonely gay yearning driver types; but there’s something about the chorus’ natural self-isolation that’s so very Kim:

There's something inside you It's hard to explain They're talking about you, boy But you're still the same

Like a wanting desperately to know himself but then feeling like he does *know* himself and trying to hold his pride close while also still giving his best effort and hope that his work in the RCM will be recognized ...wow yeah. This is also my pull for if you favour a Kim that has a fair amount of casual sex; it’s got that kind of “untouchable yet beautiful” vibe.

Stardust is the pinball backstory -- there’s something about the franticness that evokes the flashing lights of a pinball machine, the weird ridiculous grit that it took Kim to do that. I think of the line “The devil in the wires, the data eating up my brain” as a very my god this pinball thing will be the death of me franticness.

Count Souvenirs is the aftermath. Kim has what he wants, and that puts him at peace-- but it’s a hollow, quiet sort of peace, steeped in dark and violent cases. The haunting “please don’t touch” speaks to a kind of deep rooted isolation at this point in his life. I don’t really see Kim as someone who has a lot of friends. Just. His work and his grit.

We lead into Martinaise with Into the Black. There’s a few moments that I could resonate on in the beginnings of Harry and Kim’s partnership to the end of THE HANGED MAN CASE (/ NO TRUCE WITH THE FURIES); but mainly I think a lot about -- Kim in his hotel room, the second night after he meets Harry. Maybe he’s seen Harry shove a gun into his mouth or gotten the creeping feeling that this case goes way, way deeper than he first though. Either way the line “there’s more to the picture // than meets the eye” carries me through a number of tones and flavors for meeting Harry.

If you’ve gotten this far, as always, thank you! May this inspire Kim-writing and/or art in you :)

#disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #fanmix #sybil song recs

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hljournal · 4 years

Photo

Today’s author is suspendrs / @suspendrs ! Don’t forget to give the fics kudos and leave a comment!

to the cloud and the cold (2k)

Or, Louis is a Summer Fairy, Harry is an Autumn Fairy, and the autumn equinox is the best day of the year.

fearless (97k)

“You’re my best friend, Louis,” Harry says, barely above a whisper. Even if he was yelling, Louis wouldn’t be able to believe his ears. “And I know it’s been a while, but you’re still the person I consider my best friend,” Harry says.

Louis blinks, and then blinks again. “I honestly cannot say the same, Harry,” he says.

Or, Harry left home without a word after high school, and a lot can change in ten years.

just a little dance (1k)

“Keep your head up, love,” he says, pulling away and grabbing Harry’s hands. “Dance with me.”

“I don’t want to dance,” Harry pouts, but he lets Louis pull him into the center of the dark kitchen, anyway.

“Just a little dance,” Louis says, tugging Harry’s hands until he’s flush against his front.

Or, a tiny drabble based on the cutest lyric from perfect now

ferricadooza! (65k)

Harry can’t even fathom the idea of surrendering; he’d fight ‘til he died, if he had to, anything to keep from surrendering.

Or, the year is 1963, homosexuality is illegal in the UK, Louis owns a gay bar, and Harry’s an underground boxing champion with an unfortunate enemy.

at last, at last (41k)

“Come with us,” Tommo says, stopping at the other end of the gymnasium, near the doors. “Don’t let them make you suffer any longer. Come with us, and be human.”

Before Harry has even finished thinking it through, he’s on his feet, gaining the attention of every single person in the gymnasium. What has he got to lose, anyway?

Or, Harry is born into a cult in a post-apocalyptic world, and Louis is the leader of the rebel group tasked with the mission of shutting them down. Together, they make a rather effective team.

the act of making noise (32k)

“Oh,” Harry frowns, waving him off. “No, I could never. I respect myself too much to sing for a living.”

It feels like a slap across the face, but Louis does his best not to stiffen, blinking once and then frowning. “What?”

“Those people are always so miserable, you know?” Harry says, hopping down off his stool and straightening his sweater. “There’s so much pressure on them, and they have to work so hard to keep up appearances, I can’t even imagine how difficult that is. I can’t even stand to listen to pop music today, let alone watch TV or read the magazines. It makes me so sad, thinking that those people, you know, the ones who actually went into it with heart, they only ever just wanted to make music and instead they got turned into things on leashes being paraded around to make money for other people,” he says. “Anyway, you can have the stool.”

Or, Louis's famous, Harry has no idea who he is, and they get snowed in together at a ski lodge in Vermont.

walls (20k)

The thing about having been on the move so much for the past five years is that now, once they’re finally able to sit down and rest for a bit, they don’t really know what to do with themselves. Louis loved the pace of the band, for all he and the others complained about it; he isn’t very fond of sitting still, and he absolutely loathes boredom, and there was very little space in their lives for either of those things while they were so busy putting out an album every year and touring more often than not. Being in the same room as Harry while neither of them are under the pressure of keeping up appearances feels like being in a room with a total stranger, and the amount of trouble they’re having trying to get to know each other again is really rather alarming.

Or, a love one whole decade in the making, inspired by Louis's debut album.

fine line (22k)

There’s still a lot of things they don’t talk about, a lot of things they don’t bring home with them at the end of the day, and a lot of things that don’t even need to be said. The world is the world and it sucks sometimes, but it’s far away when Harry’s at home and Louis’s here with him and none of it needs to matter when it could just as easily be ignored. Harry tries to open up sometimes, tries to bring Louis into his world, but Louis’s got a world of his own to tend to, and it feels like more often than not they are on two separate planets and the universe just keeps expanding.

Or, a love three more years in the making, inspired by Harry’s sophomore album.

out for a duck (2k)

“Well, once I got control of Clifford, I took him right back to the house and changed my clothes and gave him one hell of a dressing down, let me tell you,” he scoffs. “And then I felt so bad I went back out to see if the duck had gone back to her eggs, and that Clifford hadn’t damaged them or hurt the duck at all. She wasn’t there when I got back, and I sat there for hours waiting for her, but she never showed her face! She just up and abandoned her babies, just left them there cold and alone, all because a dog barked at her,” he sighs, shaking his head.

“Still not sure why the eggs are now in my kitchen,” Louis frowns.

“I couldn’t just leave them there!” Harry says. “It was my fault they were abandoned! Well, Clifford’s fault, but whatever. I couldn’t live with myself if I just left them there to die. So I came back to the house and got a bowl and some gloves and scooped them up so I could bring them home and keep them warm until they hatch.”

Or, Harry accidentally adopts two duck eggs.

what’s inside your imagination (is as real as anything else) (3k)

“Hey!” Niall shouts suddenly, scaring Harry nearly out of his hat. “We like your costume!”

The ghost turns to glance at Niall, producing a hand from under the sheet and giving him a thumbs up. Harry can’t help but laugh a little more, the casual gesture adding to the entire vibe of the sunglasses-wearing ghost.

The ghost looks at them for a moment longer before turning and disappearing into the crowd again, and Harry sighs. “I love Halloween,” he says thoughtfully.

Or, Harry's a witch who likes to pretend he's a human pretending he's a witch, and Louis's the human in a not-so-clever costume that keeps catching his eye.

satellite (100k)

“It’s been three years since I’ve had a proper hot meal,” Louis says finally. “I have no idea where my family is, or if any of them are even still alive. The only reason I’ve been able to keep myself alive for as long as I have is because I keep to myself, stay guarded, stay hidden. It’s the only way I know how to live,” he says.

Harry wants to cry, but he tries to put on a brave face when Louis finally meets his eyes. “You’re safe here. You don’t have to be so guarded around me,” Harry says quietly, earnestly.

“That’s very sweet of you,” Louis says, putting his fork down. “But yes I do. Especially around you.”

Or, Harry finds out that someone's been living in his house without him knowing, but instead of kicking him out, he falls in love with him.

sugar in a plum (4k)

“I’m your dad,” Harry says softly, extending his hand to Plum for her to have a sniff. Plum considers for a moment, looks up at Louis, and then bites Harry’s finger.

“Ow!” Harry shrieks, pulling his hand away quickly. He’s not bleeding, but Plum’s teeth are incredibly sharp, he feels like he’s been stabbed with ten tiny needles. “Jesus, Lou, I thought we were getting a cat, not a demon.”

Or, Harry's new kitten is out to ruin his life.

there are no atheists in foxholes (64k)

“Do you think we’ll ever see it again?” Harry asks after a minute. “London?”

Louis blinks, looking down. They very well could spend the rest of their lives on this island, and they’re both very aware of that. Everyone probably already thinks they’re dead, anyway. Their flats are going to be sold, and their families are going to have funerals, and life is going to go on without them. Even if they do get rescued, it’s already been days. The news of the shipwreck has definitely reached London by now. They don’t know if there’s been any effort to look for survivors, but they also don’t know how far away from the wreck they are, or how far people are going to go to look for them, or if anyone even knows that this island is here and, like, it’s very possible that they’ve already looked and stopped looking for survivors, and no one knows they’re out here-

“I don’t know,” Louis says, before he can start spiraling. “I hope so, but I don’t know.”

Or, the sea takes everything from Louis, but it gives him back more than he ever could’ve asked for.

it ain’t right, but isn’t it amazing (7k)

It’s all Niall’s fault, as most things are. Niall’s the one that made the bloody Tinder account in the first place, and the one that added every decent looking photo of Louis he could find on his phone, and the one that swiped right on the first fifteen guys that popped up. Yeah, Louis might have done the rest of the work that landed him here, in the men’s toilets of a Japanese restaurant in west London with vomit dripping down his chin and down the very, very attractive chest of the very, very attractive man in front of him, but Niall started it.

Or, Harry takes Louis for sushi on the first date. It doesn't go well.

keep this love in a photograph (48k)

“I could never forget a damn thing about you, Harry Styles, not even if I wanted to,” Louis says. His hair falls into his face when he glances over at Harry, the moonlight reflecting off of it and making it glow golden, like maybe Louis himself is the sun.

Harry thinks of how dark and cold his life got once Louis went away, how Harry got a taste of the sweetest sunshine imaginable and then was plunged into the longest winter of his life. He feels like he’s been buried under mounds of snow for months, years, and he’s finally made it to spring, finally getting another taste of how wonderful life can be.

Or, it’s 1919, and Harry’s been falling in love with his best friend for his entire life.

thrills don’t come for free (4k)

The night before comes back to him slowly, puking in the toilet at the club and then falling asleep in his car in the parking lot. He closes his eyes again for a moment until he realizes that the car is on and moving, and someone is driving it that isn’t him.

He picks his head up and peers between the seats, catching sight of a perfect stranger sitting behind the wheel, singing quietly and driving Louis’s car.

Or, Louis has a bit too much to drink and falls asleep in the backseat of Harry's car.

not even the gods above (25k)

The thing is, though, this isn’t good enough for Harry. Sure, he has the rest of his life to be a notable king, but he wants to be notable now. He wants to bring the two kingdoms together and he wants to do it early on, wants to be the one to facilitate the merge until it seems like the two kingdoms were one all along. He doesn’t want to wait, but everyone he’s turned to thinks waiting is the right choice, so he supposes he has to trust them.

That is, of course, until a declaration of war from the Kingdom of Tomlinson shows up at his palace.

somewhere far away from here (12k)

“Harry,” Louis says, squeezing his arm. “Do you know her?”

“My sister,” Harry mutters, eyes glued to the screen.

“What’s she saying?” Louis asks, voice quiet. “What does she want?”

“Me,” Harry murmurs, hardly a breath. “She knows I’m here.”

Or, Harry's sister comes to Earth to bring him home, but Harry's got a few things keeping him here.

i’ll take your pain (2k)

It’s kind of romantic when Harry thinks about it, feeling all the pain of the person he’s supposed to love for the rest of his life. Sure, it’s rather inconvenient when he’s in class and his soulmate gets kicked in the balls, or when he’s sleeping and his soulmate knocks his head or his knee off something. It’d be nice if the function helped them to find each other, but Harry supposes he can live with knowing that they’re destined to run into each other someday.

Or, soulmates have the ability to feel each other's pain, and Harry finds his after getting his arse waxed. (Or, the soulmate au crack fic I can't believe I actually wrote.)

the pink album (31k)

They don’t really discuss how hard it is to be in this situation, or to be doing the things they have to do to continue being together. It’s just something they don’t talk about, and that’s alright. Or maybe it isn’t, but they’ll cross that bridge when they get to it.

Or, a love seven years in the making, inspired by Harry's debut album.

i’ll make this feel like home (41k)

It’s nerdy, much nerdier than anything Harry would have engaged in back home. Perrie and Ed are singing some song from West Side Story and Stan is just giggling along, and it’s almost weird how weird Harry doesn’t find it. Liam and Niall would be running as fast as they could from this interaction, but somehow, Harry finds himself giggling along as well.

Maybe it’s because no one in this group seems like they should belong in this group, but Harry feels like he fits right in. He feels more himself than he has in weeks when Louis plops down beside him for a couple moments and throws out another title to add to their movie marathon. Even though he can’t contribute to the conversation about musicals and he has no idea whether The King and I or Oklahoma is more important, he never feels like an outsider.

Or, Harry is new to Plymouth and has had a rough start, but Louis won't rest until he makes it start to feel like home.

dirty laudry looks good on you (19k)

“So um, Niall mentioned you haven’t lived here long. What brings you to London?”

“What is this, an interview?” Louis smirks, stealing Harry’s drink and taking a sip. “Wanted a change of scenery. Dunno.”

Harry hums and takes his drink back, narrowing his eyes playfully at Louis as he takes a long sip. “Can I buy you a drink, or would you rather keep sharing mine?”

“You most certainly can buy me a drink,” Louis grins, grabbing the bottle back out of Harry’s hand, “but I’m still going to be stealing yours.”

Or, Harry is jaded and sad and resigned to be forever alone, until Niall sets him up with a friend of his whose broken pieces may just fit pretty well with Harry's.

we’ve got to get away from here (23k)

“It is my understanding that you are the most comprehensive member of this agency in the field of extraterrestrial life, is that right?” the agent asks. He’s trying to sound calm, but Louis can tell he’s shaken as well.

“Um, I guess so,” Louis says, glancing over at the man in the blanket again.

Suddenly, Louis’s blood runs cold. There’s something off about the man, something in his gaze, something Louis can’t put his finger on. It’s terribly unsettling, but excitement bubbles in his gut.

Or, Louis is an FBI agent who likes to think himself a paranormal expert, and Harry is the alien that somehow ended up in his office.

in midnights, in cups of coffee (15k)

“Sorry about the sugar,” Louis says, backing toward his own flat. “Bundle up before you go out.”

Harry smiles so sweetly then that Louis can’t imagine he’ll even need the sugar, if the muffins aren’t sweet enough just because they were made by him. “Thanks,” he says, eyes lingering a little longer on Louis before he lets himself back into Gemma’s apartment, and then Louis is just standing in the hallway by himself.

Or, Louis is overworked and cold, Harry is stressed out, and they might be in love.

come away with me (80k)

Or, Louis has to pick up the pieces of his and his daughter's life after his wife dies, and Harry is a beautiful stranger that just wants to help.

in the night (19k)

Or, the self-indulgent reversed pov and slight continuation of come away with me.

my song has not been sung (2k)

Or, Harry is watching a protest from the sidelines until a boy with a rainbow flag and a pretty smile drags him right into the middle of it.

i’ll be home for christmas (12k)

Or, Louis and Harry can’t decide where to go on Christmas.

autumn leaves (27k)

Or, Harry is an American soldier in France during World War II, and Louis is a French waiter that doesn't mean to fall in love with him.

we’ve got unfinished business (7k)

Or, there’s a ghost in Harry and Louis’s apartment that seemingly just wants them to date.

falling in love with you again (4k)

Or, three times in which Louis fell in love with Harry all over again.

heading for a small disaster (20k)

Or, Harry drives an Uber and Louis’s life is falling apart.

don’t stop to worry (4k)

It was just supposed to be a trim today, to skim off the dead ends of his hair. He had no idea it’d end the way it did.

Or, Harry cuts his hair. It's kind of a big deal.

diamonds, they fade (1k)

The cold does nothing tonight but remind Louis of the boy he left inside, the boy that’s curled up under the blankets by himself right now, the boy that’s probably going to come looking for him soon when he wakes up and Louis isn’t there.

Or, Louis has insomnia.

maps can be poems when you’re on your own (19k)

Or, Harry falls in love with the guy his best friend is fooling around with.

we could be enough (4k)

Or, Harry runs an anonymous crush confession column in the school newspaper and Louis has quite the crush to write in about.

no place to call home (22k)

Or, Louis isn't Peter Pan and Harry isn't Wendy and Neverland is nothing like Harry thought it would be, but it's perfect anyway.

show a little mercy (3k)

Louis hates him so, so much. But then again, he’s never loved someone quite so fiercely.

Or, Louis and Harry try to break up. (Or, a drabble based on Love You Goodbye)

kiss me on the mouth and set me free (17k)

Or, Louis is a gamer and Harry is a beauty guru, and VidCon is a good place to fall in love.

sing me like a choir (17k)

Or, Harry is nervous to do actual makeup on his channel, until his boyfriend Louis helps him out.

please don’t bite (21k)

Or, Harry releases his own line of beauty products, and Louis feels abandoned when Harry’s newfound fame gets the best of him.

underneath the christmas tree (17k)

Louis sends Harry on a scavenger hunt on Christmas Eve.

to be loved and to be in love (50k)

Harry and Louis' first year as a couple, as captured by snippets of home movies.

hope your heart is strong enough (4k)

Prompt: Set in the US, Harry spends Thanksgiving with Louis' family, or vice versa. Chaos ensues.

to watch you fall (16k)

Or, Harry is lonely and Louis is engaged to be married.

give me your hand and i’ll hold it (18k)

Prompt: Harry (9) moves in next to Louis (11). They have little roofs under their bedroom windows and like to sit there and talk. Seven years later, Louis has to leave for college.

you make me strong (14k)

Louis comes home from war with a few more problems than he left with, but Harry can't find it in himself to let him go.

#faaw #fics

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chisanluv · 5 years

Text

Schadenfreude (Overhaul/Kai Chisaki x Reader) Chapter. 1

Based in the movie Saw

I will post this chapters in Wattpad too!

( Please keep in mind that this contains explicit violence and gore. Also, my native language isn't English but I do the best I can ! )

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The three tall men walked inside of 'The Casino's Life', one of the most appreaciated casinos in Japan, full of alcohol, cigarette and strippers. Some people were on the machines, while the other part was playing cards. The Yakuza boss from the group scoffed and ajusted his mask, the toxic air was enough to make him upset.

Not so far away from them, Shimasu Damasu (also, more known by the name of 'Card's Master') was sitting on a big but plain chair, surrounded by women and some men that had their faces red thanks to anger. He was pretty known because of his high status and 'good luck' with Casinos in the 'normal' life, while in the underground he would be one of the best people to ask for 'clasificated' information. His work wasn't cheap, thought.

He simply smiled after he had eye contact with some amber eyes.

-" You came pretty early, Overhaul. "-

-" I could say the same thing "- stated Overhaul, taking a chair in front of the table. -" So, how many information do you have about the new one ? "-

Card's just sighed, it was one of those weird occasions where he felt fear and danger about a new wanted person.

Three months ago, twenty-six people went missing in the same day; twenty were important people, both women and men. The other six were middle class people.

The problem was that all of them disappeared in the blink of an eye.

The first one that was noted was the most famous and important of all the twenty-six people, this man was described by his people as a selfish, ungrateful, cold and racist man. He would normally make racist comments and also offend many of his costumers.

The second one, was more pleasant at least. He was a layer, had good reputation and a really good life. The problem was that the infamous layer would always make his best to protest against homosexual people, and support pedophiles. Of course, he kept all of this in secret, but everything went to the light after his missing.

Most of the other missing people were alcoholic, thieves and drugs addicts. In addition of that, all the women in the list where prostitutes who worked in various casinos ( including The Casino's Life ). Obviously, this caused a huge impact, sending waves of terror in the city.

At first, the police and heroes that were working on the case thought that the kidnapping of the victims was for gaining easy money, but days after the incident there was no call or any proof that could hold the theory.

No investigator or hero had a clue, but afterwards of important searching the missing people's life, they saw a patron on it.

From star to end, all of them had done illegal things, 17 could be considered villains of low level but the most notable thing was how ungrateful and brats they were. The common sense hit the heroes like a truck.

The time was very curious, it went from exactly 7am to 6pm. It was like the kidnapper knew how many time would cost to the assistants or bosses to take note about their disappearance.

The case was extremely hard to pick parts and proofs.

After the news were spread, one man from the cell decided to speak. Normally, prisoners who want to give information would ask for a reward, but he didn't ask for anything, so it was like a plus to the police. The information given from the thief wasn't a lot, but it kind of helped.

The man who talked simply said that it was the kidnapper's fault of why his teammates were dead. Just because they tried to sneak up into their place for robbing some guns and knives.

Somehow, the base were this person keeps people had an 'air poision' that made everybody who smells it quirkless for 24 hours. Making everyone really weak, specially because many of them never went to train or cared about their strength, thinking that their quirks would 'keep them safe'.

After explaining many parts of the case, Damasu decided to make a disappointment face, it was the first time that there wasn't any explanation or description of the kidnapper.

But the worst part was when the Heroes found all the lifeless corpses of the missing people.

It was so disgusting.

Some of them didn't even have their faces or skin; You could literally see all the putrefact bones, flesh and organs that were cut and ripped apart from the bodies. Hell, one of them had all of his body intact, but his chest was stabbed 12 times and in his face, one of his eyes was out, with his mouth all wide open without any teeth.

Every single soul was disgusted. The heroes were literally speechless, frozen and scared, while the villains were quite surprised. Sure, they weren't good people but that was reallly repugnant for them. Never in their life they saw and/or heard such cruel and bloody torture. Just what kind of monster could do something so inhuman like that ?

It may be a coincidende, but half of the tortured and death people had a debt with the Yakuza. And that's why Overhaul got a little spark of interest in this new criminal.

Everyone was asking the same question:

What kind of quirk could they have ?

Because you obviously need help to do such torture.

Apart from that, the searching of this criminal was exahusting; no clues or good information were found. Obviously, many investigators left the case because there was nothing to do about but pray. Pray so this massacre wouldn't happend ever again.

━「₪」━

There you were. Sitting in your black chair, staring into the screens while you took a bite of your hamburguer.

Everything that you could see and hear throught the cameras was pathetic.

The heroes were discussing with the police about you, and how they must continue with your case.

How?

You used one of your last victims to hack into security cameras of the city and the police that was trying to investigate you. Sadly, the man didn't past your test and died in the process. Huh, he could have been a good tool but he wasn't good enough, so he getting a painful death didn't affect you. Actually, he deserved it, even if he passed the test he'd try to charge back at you with anything that he could find in your base and that would have end up with his blood everywhere, and you didn't want that.

Just the first time in a long time that you decided to open up a little and you got betrayed. Idiots. They got involved in your traps and ended up killing themselves.

Your work is pretty dangereous, thought. But you don't really need help in kidnapping other people, so it's better if you work alone.

But lord help'em

All people faces that you saw when they found the bodies were priceless. They are 'heroes', aren't they supposed to be used to see things like that?

The thought alone made you chuckle. If they can't stand that they won't be able for the next time.

You decided to select heroes in this round. The list is of only 10 people, but that doesn't matter. After all, they must experiment your traps and see if they are worh living or not. This time, you could take an assistant ! Of course, it can be impossible because they are of low level, but you'll teach them many things.

It was weird how people couldn't see from another point of view. Everyone had the same idea, that you were the one who killed them.

That was a horrible lie.

You didn't kill them. Actually, they were so deseperated to get out that they ended up killing themselves, such as stabbing, betraying each other and more things.

And it finished in their deaths.

Basically, or they get stuck/committe an error in your traps and kill themselves in the way, or they betray each other. Not even caring about listening your instructions.

Mentioning betray made you think about that guy.

He almost gets it. He scaped his first test, helped 3 other people but in his half way his teammates decided to use him. All because they didn't listen to the instructions.

You almost feel pity for him.

Almost.

What kind of trap could you use the next time? Huh, maybe the buckets are a good option.

Finishing your hamburger, you started to move with your chair that has small wheels between traps being worked on, broken dolls, and unfinished books, leading to your photo's section while you slowly hummed a sweet lullaby.

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I know this is short but this is just the prologue so yeah

Chapters will have between 3.000 and 9.000 word

I hope you like my story!

Started 20/July/2019

Finished 00/Month/0000

Next chapter: In progress

#mha kai chisaki #chisaki kai #kai chisaki #overhaul x reader #overhaul bnha #overhaul #kai chisaki x reader #chisaki kai x reader

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divinefelt · 5 years

Photo

❝ i have cried all my tears . all that’s left is anger . ❞

― pin board.

STATISTICS.

name : zahra azhdeha kabiri.

age : 2,581 years , appears mid 30′s.

gender : cisfemale ( she & her ).

orientation : homosexual , demiromantic.

species : dragyn , ethereal dynasty.

occupation : performer ( fire dancer ) at the haus of millennium.

residence : sherman lofts in sioux falls - 1 bed , 1 bath. lives alone.

// more statistical info found here.

BIOGRAPHY.

zahra was once a meek girl born the bastard daughter to the king of the persian empire. she’d be sold to an egyptian general older than even her father as soon as she was able as a token of good faith. with the birth of her three children and their safety on the line , she took a dagger to her husband. she’d then travel home and slit the throats of the king and every male heir. she’d be crowned empresss and would rule with a good heart. but another being would turn his eyes towards her and turn her into a horrendous dragyn. zahra would have fire and blood for her enemies , but while she attempted to be good towards her people , some still only saw her as a beast.

so , appearing as a divine saviour , a macedonian king would gather an army and look towards the persian empire. at the peak of which , she’d be chained and thrown beneath a mountain. zahra would spend nearly two millennia trapped underground before she’d awaken to find the chains unfettered. it’d take years for her to gain a semblance of her previous strength back while at the same time looking upon a vastly different world. her children , previously transformed into gargoyles , surely hadn’t survived. yet she searches for them anyway. one journey had her run into the performers of the haus of millennium , and with a heart needing family , she joined them.

the troupe has just moved to south dakota , though zahra is restless in this place. there is a familiar sense pulling at her that she’s only felt twice before. it’s naive , but she’s hopeful that this may be the place where she’ll reunite with her children , and follow that sense towards the one who put their lips to her hand all those years ago and started her on this bloody journey.

// more biographical info found here.

CONNECTIONS.

GENERAL SPECIES VIEWS

the gargoyles / the dominion : zahra considers gargoyles friends , unless personally shown otherwise. her first glimpse into the world of the supernatural started with the knowledge of such creatures. her bias for them only grew as she became friends with astarte and as her children were turned into gargoyles so they could stay together for eternity. as for the dominion as a whole , zahra knows little about the organization save that they are very influential and that several of astartes’ children are in it ( as well as her own son , but that’s not known to her yet ). i’m sure that members , or at least high - ranking members of the dominion have heard rumors of zahra floating around. so whether or not they see her as a threat , or an asset is up to the organization and the individual. i’d love any connection from friends to enemies , to using her as a weapon or all banding together to kill her idk but i want it all

the weyrs : way back when , when she was still learning about the supernatural world , zahra first thought that perhaps she was related to the weyrcreatures. they both had other animalistic forms hidden beneath a human visage and perhaps by learning about them , she could learn about herself. little came of it though besides a shared camaraderie in hiding who one truely was behind a passable visage. ( though zahra doesn’t know this yet , her eldest daugher , nazli , was killed by a weyr pack like 1500 years ago. the pack is probably extinct by now , but if there’s some connection there ya can think of , hmu. also , when she learns of that she isn’t going to be too friendly to them 0.0 )

the wytches : when her possible relation to the weyrs didn’t pan out , she sought out wytches next. though hesitant , she had several ancient rituals performed on her to figure out her origin , but all pointed towards the heavens. this was interpreted different ways by different casters , but zahra eventually came to the conclusion that whatever cursed her was something divine.

the meyrfolk : zahra hates large bodies of open water with a passion. she hasn’t met many meyrs due to this reason though she still finds them fascinating. basically someone needs to convince zahra to go for a swim or take her to the aquarium or smthng

the dieties : she had turned her mind away from the heavens after she’d become the beast she is today and a frutiless search for the one who’d done the deed. but they have not turned away from her. her master , father , creator ; whatever you want to call them , is still watching. they were the one who gave the usurpers the chains that were able to bind her , and the one to release her a mere century ago. though she doesn’t know , his eyes watch on from afar , though coming closer and closer , and surely other dieties have noticed the beast walking their earth and the way their sibling is always watching.

the hunters : in the eyes of hunters , dagyns are actual mythical creatures. or at least , they’re so rare there hasn’t been a proven sighting in several hundred , perhaps thousands , years. apart from otherworldly beings , dragyns are the creatures to kill if you want your name to live on forever amongst other hunters forever. so , i’d love if a crazy , foolhardy , valiant hunter came after zahra. either to actually hunt and try to kill her , or maybe to just do research on her species to write down in some hunter field guide !

INTERPERSONAL CONNECTIONS

the haus of millennium : true to her nature , zahra is a fire dancer. when she performs , she feels some semblance of her old life again. the worry and memories that plague her stop for the few mintues that all eyes are on her. the only time she can breathe is when being bathed in her own inferno. so if there are any characters that are in the haus , or patrons coming to watch and notice her on the street , ect , ect

the secret : she may be millenna old , but anger is still alight in her veins. a persistant fan follows her home after the show. she yells at them to leave , but steps continue in her direction. a shout comes from the small woman , a hand is lifted and then the fan is alight in an inferno. it burns for only a few mintues before nothing is left behind but ashes on the wind and scorched asphalt. the woman shakes her head and continues on her way , not knowing another was watching from afar with a camera in hand and an impossible event captured on photograph.

a diety : they’ve noticed how the olympian watches their creation from afar. they know they are prone to death and destruction , so what better way to deliver such than a creature of fire and blood ? whether this diety wants to urge on the olympian’s plan , or as taken a liking to zahra , ect , ect

a friend with benefits : needs are needs , especially after a hugely disorienting rest under the earth’s surface for two millennia. they were acquaintances first and fell head first into something more physical. whether or not her partner feels the same , zahra is struggling with maybe feeling something more ?

a budding romance : it’s not truly a feeling she’s ever felt before. sure , she holds love for her children and the wind beneath her wings , but a romantic love isn’t something she’s too familiar with. already , it’s all-encompassing and she can’t get your muse off her mind. it’s annoying , but she finds she loves it. and now awkward flirting and dated courting will ensue.

++ everything else y’all throw at me cause i actually suck at plotting and connections so pls come yell at me

#shiver.gang #▸▸ zahra kabiri : headcanon ‟ — ˢʰᵉ ʷᶦˡˡ ᵗᵉᵃʳ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃᵖᵃʳᵗ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵗʰᵉ ᵍʳᵃᶜᵉ ᵒᶠ ʳᵒʸᵃˡᵗʸ. „#i wrote wayy too much #i sorry but im so excited ?!?!!!.

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