Wizard: A spy is giving away every one of our battle plans. Rogue: You look surprised, Sorcerer. Sorcerer: I certainly am. I didn’t realize we had any battle plans.

DUALSCAR, looking at a map: god. its a barren, featureless desert out there isnt it

MINDFANG: Other side, Dualscar.

DUALSCAR: [turns map owvver] ...oh

(Aragorn, Eowyn, and Faramir, all giving speeches to their troops before battle.)

Aragorn: Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more! Consign their parts most private to a Rutland tree!

Eowyn: Let blood — Blood — BLOOD! — be your motto! Slit their gizzards!

Faramir: Now, I’m afraid there’s going to have to be a certain amount of, well, violence. But at least we know it’s all in a good cause, don’t we?

Alison, playing Trivial Pursuit: Okay, next question, what event kicked off the First World War?

Robin: Oh! Man name Archie Dook shot ostrich 'cause he hungry.

Captain: I think you mean the Archduke of Austria-Hungary was shot.

Robin: No, definitely ostrich involved.

Incorrect Loki Quotes [128/?]  

della: i may have the body of a 'weak and feeble' woman. 

della: but i have the heart and stomach of a concrete elephant.

Lan Jingyi: *takes out map* God, it’s a barren, featureless desert out there, isn’t it?

Jin Ling: The other side, Jingyi.

Lan Jingyi: *turns map over* Oh.

Jean Passepartout, holding a map: It’s a barren, featureless desert out there, isn't it? Phileas Fogg: Other side, Passepartout...

I can’t be bothered to hit you. Here is my fist, kindly run into it as fast as you can.

Lothor to Zurgane, Power Rangers Ninja Storm

Schneizel: A spy is giving away every one of our battle plans. Kanon: You look surprised, Suzaku. Suzaku: I certainly am. I didn’t realize we had any battle plans.

Rogue: A person may fight for many things: Their country, their principles, their friends, the glistening tear on the cheek of a golden child. But personally, I’d mud-wrestle my own father for a ton of cash and an amusing clock.

CONDESCE: exshellent work dualscar

CONDESCE: as a reefward u can take a short holiday

[Two-second pause]

CONDESCE: did u enjoy it? gud. LMAO 💯

Elfhelm: So you’re a ‘chap’, are you Dernhelm?

Eowyn: Oh yes, sir.  

Elfhelm: You wouldn’t say you were a girl at all?

Eowyn: Oh, definitely not, sir. I understand cricket, I fart in bed, everything.

Elfhelm: Let me put it another way, ‘Dernhelm’, you are a girl. And you’re a girl with as much talent for disguise as a giraffe in dark glasses trying to get into a ‘Polar Bears Only’ golf club.

Eowyn: Oh sir, please don’t give me away, sir. I just wanted to be like my brother and join up. I want to see how a real war is fought….so badly.

Elfhelm: Well, you’ve come to the right place, Dernhelm. A war hasn’t been fought this badly since Olaf the Hairy, Chief of all the Vikings, accidentally ordered 80,000 battle helmets with the horns on the inside.

Kitty: Captain, might I ask you something?

Captain: Of course, Kitty. So long as it isn't that one about where babies come from, again.

Kitty: No it's not that.

Kitty: See, what I'm curious about is that, while you were alive, there was a war on, correct? But before that, there wasn't a war on. Therefore, what I've come to realise is that there must have been a turning point where there not being a war on went away and there being a war on started. So, to summarise, what I'm interested to know is; how did they go from the one state of affairs to the other state of affairs?

Captain:

Captain: Are you asking me "how did World War II start?"

Kitty: Yes!

[The Council is meeting with the Chancellor]

Palpatine, walking in: Sorry I’m late.

Plo: No, don’t bother apologizing.

Plo: I’m sorry you’re alive.

keefe: [looking at a map] god, it’s a barren, featureless desert out there, isn’t it?

fitz: the other side, keefe.

keefe: [flips map over] oh.