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spiked-tea-writing · 3 years

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and they were roommates?!

SapnapxFem!Reader

Summary: Imagine being in love with your roommate, couldn't be you.

Pronouns: She/her

Warning: Swearing

Word Count: 2.3k

A/n: I don’t watch or know anything, I just like these people and I had a concept. Also, he and Dream aren’t roommates in this for the sake of I can’t figure that out. Also also, my timeline is probably fucked but who cares

The dynamic in the apartment was...interesting to say the least

In the two years of living together, it had shifted a lot

In the beginning, you and Sapnap had been... less than cordial to each other

Both eighteen, fresh out of high school, off to college thinking that you knew everything.

There was lots of fighting, to say the least.

All of the “No it’s your turn to vacuum”, and “I swear to god Sapnap I will punt you halfway across the world if you eat my pineapple again”

The only reason you didn’t slit each other’s throats was that if the other person was dead, who would pay rent?

It was the summer before college started at the time, and you were working long hours minimum wage so coming]’/ home to an annoying prick caused a crap ton of conflict

After a few months of being little bitches to each other, y’all got piss drunk in the apartment and it all just sorta fell apart

Got that good drunk therapy, spilling your deepest secrets

(y’all were underage but shhh)

So by the time college started, the two of you had become actual friends and started enjoying each others company

A few months into the friendship, you encouraged him to post the video of “Minecraft, but it’s Raining Cats and Dogs” on a whim

Lmao little did you know what you had created (we’ll get to that later)

You mocked his train of thought constantly, laughing at the timing of it all.

“Ahhh yes, I am Sapnap, the genius who thought it’d be great to become a YouTuber while in my first year of college.”

He’d always just laugh and roll his eyes, playfully shoving you while stealing your chips.

The next few months were a haze of studying, work, and him.

It was truly a friendship of convenience since you guys were so busy, him starting his youtube career, and you working restaurants, then school on top of that, it was just easy to find friendship in your roommate.

Of course, he had his close friends which he spoke to over the internet, and you had your friends from back home, but as for college, it really was only him.

You guys had a fun time just hanging around the apartment, and it became so easy to be friends with him

And it WAS truly platonic (we’ll get back to that as well)

The best thing he brought to the friendship was his animals

You got on fabulously with Cash and the cats

They were all so cuddly and honestly loved you more than him lmao

You guys were just trying to get degrees and not be too stupid, was that too much to ask???

Well to a certain 2020, it was

The beginning of that year was great.

He was sorta realizing that he liked putting himself on social media, but on top of that, it seemed like a great start to a year.

February brought him to twitch, which you loved

You found it hilarious how he would just sorta play games and have people watch him live.

But you were incredibly supportive, as a friend, of course

He really liked it so, you tried to ignore the shouting at three am, and the loud anthems at night

Sure you’d give him hell in the morning, but why kill his fun?

March started great, as it was his birthday.

You got him a glittery lighter as a gag, but it was the perfect gift for a broke-ass college student

Then a certain pandemic came a-knockin’ on y’all’s door

It was a hard hit on both of you.

An executive decision was made that you two would stay put, but being away from your families was incredibly tough.

That spring was the birth of The SMP.

It brought him so much joy, which in turn made you happier.

The rest of the school year was a blur of zooms and test

Nick nearly killed you on multiple occasions when you made fun of the fact that he was learning computer science over the computer or made him help you figure out what the fuck zoom was since it was tangentially related to his major

“SAP HELP ME YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS ITS YOUR FUCKING MAJOR!!!”

“NO, IT’S- AHHHHHHHHH”

Yall got more than a handful of noise complaints shhhh

That summer was fill was spent trying to fill the time in weird ways

Note to self, he can’t cook (which you learned the hard way)

Yall spent so much time trying to cook and bake, then sweating off the calories working out with The Fitness Marshall lmao

As sucky as the situation was, that summer was so incredibly fun for the both of you, and truthfully the only arguments were about what music to blast

“Y/n I swear if I listen to Cosmicandy one more time I will drown you.”

“Well if I hear American Idiot one more time someone’s knee caps are getting harvested.”

(that argument was settled with Elton John.)

When school started up again that fall, something shifted

After a year of actual friendship, you guys were no longer just friends, and the tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife

You had watched every single one of his streams since day one, but within 2 seconds of his Love or Host, you felt the need to hurl for some peculiar reason

It was bizarre because there was no way you could ever like him, of course not.

Within the apartment, you guys suddenly got a lot more touchy, but only because it was getting cold with winter and all that jazz.

It wasn’t because yall were secretly in love, what is this, a romcom?

The number of times you guys woke up on the couch, definitely not cuddling was too many to count

You started sitting in his room while he streamed, definitely not watching him with heart eyes because of how excited he got

He always had a pot of coffee full and a 6-pack of monster in the fridge since he knew you ran on spite and caffeine, and definitely not so that he could spend more time with you in the early hours of the morning.

The laundry started getting all mixed around, resulting in just sharing any sweats, hoodies, or socks.

The same thing went for food.

No longer was anything labeled with a name, if it was in the fridge, it was fair game (unless there was a post-it because come on, yall weren’t monsters)

But no, y’all were just roommates, not dating, lets make that clear.

Feelings? We don’t know her.

This entire time, his friends have had to hear about you rip.

But they got front row seats to your relationship development

“OMG my roommate is the worst she ate all of the frozen strawberries”

“Y/n kidnapped Storm all day while she studied and I thought I lost the fucking cat asjvdk”

“I had to run down and talk to the landlord because we dropped a pot of pasta sauce all over the carpet and couldn’t get the damn stain out.”

“She is so nice in preparation for a family dinner zoom, she ran out to the local Filipino food place and pick stuff up.”

“Sorry I’m late I overslept and didn’t want to wake up Y/n.”

They weren’t stupid, and could clearly see how whipped he was.

Dream and Geroge teased him about it constantly.

“Woah, calm down Sap, you should probably tell her you love her before you propose.”

“Yeah Dream’s right, it’s kinda weird that you’re living together before ever dating.”

He always flushed and denied it with a shake of his head.

He wasn’t into you, are they crazy?

Quackity and Karl messed with him in more unorthodox ways

There are a solid number of clips where they are fake crying over how he’s cheating on them, and even more tweets to match

It only got worse when you met them accidentally.

He was chatting post-stream on a video channel with George, Dream, Karl, and Quackity, and just his luck, you came into his room.

Like of all the times you could walk in, it was the time he was with his five closest friends but I digress

“Yo I got some extra tips yesterday so I picked up some extra Red Bull if you want to do one of your weird all-nighter streams.”

“Y/n I’m on channel.”

“Oh shit sorry my b. Catch.”

All the guys heard was a thud and a groan from Sapnap as the six-pack hit him in the chest.

Dream was the one to recognize your name.

“WAIT IS THAT Y/N I WANT TO MEET THEM!”

You could hear Dream’s voice through his headphones

“Sap… who is that?”

“No one. I’ll be out in a sec to help with dinner.”

You could hear a British voice come through.

“Oh so we are no one now, huh.”

Another voice piped through.

“Common... ¿Qué intentas ocultar?”

You cut in.

“Your headset it shit my guy. I can hear everything. I’m down to talk to them.”

He let out a groan.

“Fine. But you’re gonna have to do the dishes tonight.”

“Deal. Now move.”

“What? No.”

“Fine bitch.”

You collapsed onto his lap, plucking the headphones off of him.

“Hello, Sapnap’s friends. I am Y/n. A pleasure to meet y’all. Can you hear me?”

You heard a series of laughs through the headset, and a voice came through.

“Yes, we can see you too. I’m Karl, it’s so nice to finally meet his girlfriend.”

A blush rose on both of your faces, and another voice came through.

“Yeah, we’ve heard lots about you. Plus we can’t see your face in that picture Sap sent us. I’m Quackity”

That remark stopped your embarrassment in its tracks.

“What the fuck? How do you guys know me? I’m not even his girlfriend? And what picture?”

Sapnap grabbed your arm to calm you down as another voice cut in, but his one you recognized as his friend Dream.

“Hey, it’s okay. He just talks about you a bit, and the picture I believe was of you holding like three cats with like a red bull can on your head.”

“Jesus fucking christ why do they have that photo??”

He looked guilty but chuckled.

“Because that photo is a damn masterpiece.”

Karl’s voice came back in with a giggled.

“Soooo, Y/n we’d love to hear about you. Specifically anything funny or embarrassing that you have learned by living with him.”

Sapnap let out a groan from behind you as you went off.

“WELL lemme tell y’all, he has no cooking knowledge, well I mean, now he does, but one time, about a year ago, I had I been keeping a pot of water boiling for about an hour, soft boiling eggs, cooing noodles, blanching bok choy, etc. but this fucking genius is like ‘oH tHe HaNdLe Is StIcKiNg OuT. LeMmE mOvE iT wItH mY bArE hAnD.’ Needless to say, he burnt the crap outta his hand and kept the bag of frozen blueberries on it for the entire night. It took me like a solid five seconds to actually help him because I was laughing.”

By the time you had finished that story, you had seen Nick roll his eyes like 5 five times while the rest of the guys were wheezing.

“Yeah, well remember the time you were trying to imitate Rapunzel after we had watched it over Zoom with my sister, and you swung the edge of the frying pan into our head and got a nasty bump on it? At least I moved quick enough to put some ice on it.”

“Ice? It was the damn leftover Slushy that I had been freezing.”

“True, but you got to drink it after, so it was a win-win situation.”

“Sap, I had a bump the size of a golfball coming off of my temple. There was no winning.”

“Fine, you’re just making me sound like such a shit roommate.”

“No that’s not true, you do all of the talking to the landlord, and you at least tried to muffle the noise when you stream.”

“I guess that’s true, but you do like 80% of the cleaning.”

“Yeah but only because you’re working. Plus in the past 6 months, you’ve made coffee every morning, AND made sure I was taking my meds.”

“Those things aren’t that hard and I do it to make sure you don’t die because I lo- care about you.”

“What?”

You heard Dream’s wheeze laugh and remembered that you guys were still on call.

“Smooth.”

You both went red, and Sap moved his arm around you to leave the channel.

The next few moments were complete torture, the two of you just sitting in silence.

You were wondering if he meant what he was about to say and he was scared that you had heard it.

He was the one to break the silence. (mind you you’re still sitting on his lap lmao)

“I’m sorry about that.”

You weren’t sure how to respond. Should you ask him if he meant it? Because that wouldn’t be that bad. Or just pretend it never happened. Nah that’d be hella awkward. Or-

“I love you too.”

“You what?”

Wow, okay your brain is being a little bitch rn, but fuck it. Balls to the walls baby.

“I love you, and I have for a while now. I just want you to know.”

You finally looked him in the eye, and he was grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

“Thank god. I love you, and nearly fucking told you for the first time in front of my friends accidentally. Damn, I’m smooth.”

You laughed and he smiled wider.

“Can I kiss you?”

After a quick nod he swooped in and holy hell his lips felt great. His arm wound around your waist and your hands made their way to his jaw as he pulled you closer to him.

The only thing playing in your mind was “and they were roommates”

#sapnap x reader #sapnap #sapnapxreader #sapnap fluff #sapnap fanfic #sapnap fanfiction #sapnap x you #sapnap x y/n

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onwater · 3 years

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stephanie brown-centric fic recommendations

hello! stephanie brown is my favorite character in Media ever and i feel like fics about her don't get enough love, especially since she's often kept as a background character, so i thought i'd compile a list of the best ones i've read and why i like them:

uptown girl, 60k word twist on stephanie's spoiler origin story. stephcass centric

this fic literally makes me lose it. i reread it at LEAST once a month. it's my favorite fic in general, i think it's written amazingly and i consider this The stephanie brown characterization. there's not much i can say about it without spoiling, but this is an amazingly steady take on stephcass with just enough detail to feel real without getting over the top. i'd recommend this over anything else.

hit 'em up with style, 2k word humor fic about bruce getting stephanie tampons

this is a really well known fic and for good reason! the bruce + stephanie dynamic here is perfect—this fic is quick, light, and hilarious.

we own the night, 3k word AU where stephanie gets pregnant way later in canon and is supported by the batfamily throughout it

if you're looking for some quality batfamily steph-centric content, this fic is the perfect place to start. it's both funny and sad, and every single scene Hits, highlighting stephanie's unique bond with every single member of the family.

touch the sky, 5k word AU where most of the members of the batfamily die and stephanie becomes batman

this fic's concept is heartbreaking, but impactful. almondrose is a wonderful stephanie brown fic writer with a lot of amazing works, but i think this one definitely has to be my favorite. stephanie brown learning to fit into the role of batman and her struggles with the people around her not having full confidence in her is really reminiscent of her time as spoiler and very emotional!

robin's roast, 17k word AU that's spoiler!stephanie-centric

i think this fic is best to go into without any previous knowledge because the concept is kind of wild and sets in gradually, but expect a great and realistic look into spoiler!stephanie with good characterization of tim, babs, and jason to top it all off.

burnout - the schedule and courseload of one stephanie brown, student at gotham university, 3k word batgirl stephanie fic about balancing college and vigilantism

hinn_raven is a well-known stephanie brown fic writer, and for good reason! this fic is a hilarious look into stephanie brown overworking herself and gradually being put back on track :)

quick, someone call batgirl!, 2k word humor fic about people in college knowing steph's identity

i Love reading stephanie being happy and a good batgirl, and this is a really funny fic that scratches that itch. casual and hilarious, as usuall hinn_raven has an amazing grasp on her character and a concept i wish they'd explore in the actual comics.

the hardest part is over, 7k word AU about robin!stephanie being a trans girl

AAAAAAAAAAA TRANS STEPHANIE

a mouth full of blood, 8k word AU about red hood!stephanie

an AMAZING au from hinn_raven (again) about stephanie dying for real at the hands of the black mask and coming back as a very angry red hood. wonderful, wonderful fic. i highly recommend the entire series.

allegro vivace, 5k word AU about stephanie never being fired as robin

i unironically think DC should take notes from this fic. i think all of us know stephanie deserved a long, steady robin run, and this fic is an amazingly written take on her getting exactly that. it's cathartic seeing her loved, cared for, and heroic.

the night is still young (and so are we), 8k word fic about stephanie having an eating disorder

a realistic take on an eating disorder and the consequences that would have on a vigilante. stephanie's voice in this fic is really strong, and seeing consistently written interactions with multiple members of the batfamily is great!

i used to be an adventurer like you, then i took an arrow to the knee, 9k word fic where bruce and stephanie get stuck in the past

it's not often that something with perfect bruce + stephanie dynamic characterization comes along, but when it does, you genuinely need to drop everything and read it.

graven children, 3k word take on batgirl!stephanie and red hood!jason running into each other and having a fight

this is a harsh take on jason's character and stephanie's trauma involving the family, and it's PERFECT that way. i love it, i love the juxtaposition between jason's trauma-induced moral compass and stephanie's trauma-induced moral compass. this fic feels like a good analysis of stephanie's character, if anything.

adventures in the elevator of despair, 4k word batgirl!stephanie + bruce centric fic

this is a really, really good take on stephanie confronting bruce about all his shit and the awkward conversation that'd result from that. read this!!!

unglorified hero, 800 word robin!stephanie fic about getting her first concussion

robin!stephanie is so fucking adorable. send tweet

#dc #batfamily #stephanie brown

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zillennial97 · 3 years

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A/B/O | Larry Fanfic Recs

Fucking Animals by pointerbrother | 116k | Explicit

“Just, off the record,” she says, voice lower, eyes sharper, crook of her mouth quirking up a little, “don’t you ever miss it? A good knot? You must.”

Louis blinks and then swallows, thickly. “No,” he exclaims, offended that she’d even ask, “I love my husband. And anyway, how could I miss something I’ve never had?”

---

Louis is the frontman of an equal rights-movement, author of a book about beta-omega marriage and the struggles of being born and boxed into a personality you don't necessarily feel you fit. The notion that an omega must want to be with an alpha or else he or she's just settling for less, is bullshit.

But, fucking hell.

Worth Dying For by whoknows for KrisStylinson | 44k | Explicit

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Louis says, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. In the center of the table, a set of three glossy photos stares up at him, mocking him.

“A security detail is non-negotiable, Louis, you know this,” his mum reminds him, tapping the middle photo with two fingers.

Louis doesn’t look back down at the pictures, gesturing towards them wildly, over-dramatically. “This is not a security detail!” he protests. “This is a lanky college student. In what world do you hire someone like this kid to protect me?”

Like Candy In My Veins by littlelouishiccups | 31k | Explicit

“Um…” Harry said slowly after a moment. “Okay. That’s… this is… Let me get this straight.” He lifted up a hand and swallowed. “You told your family that you have a boyfriend… and my name was the first one you thought of?” “Harry Potter was on TV, alright? It wasn’t that much of a stretch.” Louis pinched the bridge of his nose. He couldn’t believe he was explaining himself to Harry fucking Styles. He couldn’t believe he was stooping this low. “Forget it. I’m sorry I even thought about bringing you into this.”

Harry snorted. “What? Did you want me to pretend to be your boyfriend or something?”

(Basically the A/B/O, enemies to lovers, fake relationship, Christmas AU that nobody asked for.)

Welcome to The Rivalry by 2tiedships2 | 19k | Mature

“Welcome home!” Niall yelled, clapping his hands in excitement. “Isn’t it great?”

Louis looked between Niall and the house, unsure how to respond.

“I don’t understand,” Louis finally managed to say. “Aren’t we a little old to be living so close to campus?”

Niall scoffed. “You’re only twenty-four for fuck’s sake. There is still plenty of partying left for us to do. What better place than one street over from where a car was set on fire after the Michigan game last year?”

“Is there proof of that? Did the car have Michigan plates or something? Is there a photo I can send in a DM to Wolfie?”

As if on cue, a Twitter notification popped up on Louis’ Apple watch. He had tweeted again.

Or a reverse You’ve Got Mail au inspired by the Ohio State/Michigan rivalry. Featuring duplex neighbors, (kind of) enemies to lovers, and an anonymous Twitter feud between omega Louis and alpha Harry.

You'll Be Home For Christmas by 2tiedships2 | 15k | Not Rated

“Honesty, Lou, just ask Harry for help.”

Louis remained silent as he continued to scowl at the Christmas calendar Niall had hung on their refrigerator.

“And be nice to my calendar filled with holiday cheer,” Niall instructed. “You’re going to burn a fucking hole in it from the way you’re glaring at the innocent thing. It’s not the calendar’s fault that your heat is starting so close to Christmas.”

Anybody Have a Map? by 2tiedships2 | 13k | Not Rated

Niall rolled his eyes, “You two are weird. Fine. Me and Liam will go by ourselves. Party poopers.”

Niall got up to get ready but first turned to Louis and asked, “Lou are you still kicking me out next week? I’ll see if I can make plans with Liam.”

Louis cringed. Because of course Niall would say something in front of Harry.

“Yeah,” Louis stated. “That’s still the plan. Now run along my little Irish idiot.”

Niall skipped the ten feet to his bedroom to get ready. Louis steeled himself for Harry’s inquiry.

“What’s next week, Lou?” Harry looked down at him with a confused look in his eyes.

Or the one where Louis met Harry in NYC where they bonded as fellow Brits in the large city. Years later, with Louis' upcoming heat, maybe it's time for their friendship to become something more.

Waiting by allwaswell16 for LadyLondonderry | 10k | Explicit

Louis Tomlinson was Harry’s omega, of this Harry had always been sure. Unfortunately for Harry, Louis seemed to think they were just best friends. The six weeks that Harry has to live with Louis were going to be rough.

One Track Mind by rbbsbb | 9k | Explicit

“You have a lot of friends, huh?”

Harry nods again. “A few.” The muscles of his bicep flex under Louis’ touch, and the alpha looks a bit drunk from the feeling, his eyes blinking slower and lips quirking at the corners. He’s leaning in, his alpha scent surrounding Louis from all sides.

“Mm,” Louis hums, squeezing his fingers tight, just to hear the sharp way Harry inhales. Then, when Harry is least expecting it, Louis returns the earlier sentiment—leaning up on his tiptoes and pressing his weight into Harry for balance, drawing his lips up close to Harry’s ear, and whispering, “Why don’t you go tell them goodnight.”

And I Will Steady Your Hand by kiwikero | 9k | Explicit

All first year university students who had not yet presented were strongly advised to join the Fire Away meetings, a support group for so-called 'late bloomers.'

They were not, however, advised to fall in love with someone else at the meetings without knowing what they might eventually present as.

This Thing Upon Me (howls like a beast) by SadaVeniren | 8k | Explicit

Harry and Louis weren’t meant to be together. They’d met when they were put together through their university’s AO MatchUp, a program that set up alphas and omegas based on the schedules of their ruts and heats so they had someone to help them through it. It was pure luck that they were put together.

Whisk me off my feet by allwaswell16 | 5k | Explicit

When Louis locks himself out of his apartment in just a pair of novelty underwear, he hopes his new neighbor can come to his rescue.

hoping to discover a certain kind of lover by bruisedhoney | 2k | Explicit

He knew the basic idea of what was supposed to happen. It was the entire point of the film Zayn was working on. To match up unmated alpha and omega strangers and to film them as they kissed for the first time. The two of them shuffled awkwardly back and forth, unsure of what to do.

Enough was enough. “I’m gonna just go for it, yeah?” Harry suggested, and Louis nodded quickly, already leaning closer to him.

Everything was hesitant at first. Tender lips met, and all of it was soft and new, neither of them wanting to overstep. A little zing of anticipation and something unfamiliar shot down Harry’s spine as he swallowed the tiny sound of surprise Louis made. Neither alpha nor omega were pushing, but that was the point of all of this, wasn’t it? To see what happened when people let go and let themselves be? Harry figured he would try. For the sake of the experiment, of course.

Gently, so, so gently, Harry slid his hand up the side of Louis’s throat, cupping his jaw to hold him as close as he could. Their lips finally, finally, finally parted, and Harry could taste the hint of tea and honey lingering on Louis’s tongue. Suddenly and all at once, he couldn’t get enough.

#larry fanfic rec #larry fic #larry fanfiction #larry stylinson #a/b/o #louis tomlinson #harry styles #one direction #one direction fanfiction #larry fanfiction recommendations #a/b/o dynamics #alpha/beta/omega verse #abo

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moonlit-manifesto · 3 years

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Heartbreak Red Takeover 2021

Heartbreak Red’s “Delayed April Fools” 2021! This year the Heartbreak Red twitter Q&A session happened on April 3 instead of April 1. (Probably because Tsukino Productions dropped that huge 20 minute April Fools video instead lol). Heartbreak Red answers people’s tweets that have the hashtag #失恋ポスト (#heartbreak post) and are categorized as Advice, Message, Request, and Other.

Sometimes other characters from Tsukiuta or Tsukipro make an appearance too! Reminder that Heartbreak Red is Arata’s alter ego, so he’ll never refer to himself as Arata when he’s in character as Red. Since there are so many tweets, I’ll only be translating the interesting or funny ones. Read below the cut!

[MESSAGE] Heartbreak Red-san, it’s been a while! The weather was nice today so I went to an event at the Tobu zoo!! The cherry blossoms were beautiful too, and I had fun *sparkle sparkle*. I made some great memories. Thanks so much ( ´ ` *)

Heartbreak Red: “Whoa, thanks! Cherry blossoms, aaaaah I want to go see them too!”

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[REQUEST] I love Arata-kun and Aoi-kun as the childhood friend pair, so can you each tell us something that you did recently?!!

Heartbreak Red: “Eh~ Well, I’m not Uduki-san so here’s Aoi-kun!”

Aoi: “My childhood friend is too busy having fun playing a superhero right now (lol). Recently, Haru-san was telling me about that kaiju film he made [for April Fool’s Day].”

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[ADVICE] I’ve been wanting to feel some springtime refreshment as a break to my daily work grind. Eichi-kun, what kinds of things remind you of spring? I’d like your advice!

Heartbreak Red: “Eichi-saaaaaaan~~!”

Eichi (from QUELL): “Hello! I like cherry blossom viewing, but since we can’t gather this year I’ve been taking a lot of walks by the riverbank where they’re in bloom ♪ “

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[ADVICE] Hello! Right now I’m holding down two jobs and it’s hard to take days off... Please give me some encouraging cheers!

Heartbreak Red: “The force that keeps the economy going is: you----!!!! You’re a force to be reckoned with----!!!! Amazing---!!! But be sure not to overwork yourself, okay?”

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[ADVICE] I’m in love with Okui Tsubasa-kun from SolidS and I have a broken heart. But Tsubasa-kun is so cool, I can’t help but be in love again. What should I do? P.S. I look forward to this day every year, Heartbreak Red.

Heartbreak Red: “Gah~! Hmph!”

Tsubasa (from SolidS): “Hey, what was that, just call for me lololol. Anyways, to the you who is beyond my reach: we may be apart, but I will always love you. I put a lot of feeling into my songs, be sure to listen to them a lot ♪ xoxo”

Heartbreak Red: “As expected from Tsukipro’s best reader of women’s hearts...!! And thank you for supporting my activities!”

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[REQUEST] Yoru-kun! Tell us what you’re making for dinner today.

Heartbreak Red: “Yorurun~! What’s on the menu tonight~!?”

Yoru: “We’re having mapo tofu!!! Sorry it’s not anything super exciting to talk about!!!”

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[REQUEST] Please call Kisaragi Koi over (｡>_<｡)♡

Heartbreak Red: “Pink.”

Koi: “What’s with the lack of enthusiasm!? Anyways - hi there! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و I’m Koi-kun!! Thanks for calling for me! I hope you have a fun weekend!!”

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[MESSAGE] I really like Issei-kun and Ichiru-kun’s costumes from the Sweets Kingdom theme...!

Heartbreak Red: “Same~ It’s a double whammy of beauty and coolness.”

Issei (from QUELL): “Thank you so much!”

Ichiru (from QUELL): “I didn’t think the frills suited me, but when I heard everyone’s compliments I started to think they weren’t so bad (haha). Thanks!”

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[OTHER] That April Fools video was funny! By the way, how did Haru-san come up with the idea in the first place......?

Heartbreak Red: “The day after he slept a lot he proposed the idea for the video with a refreshed look on his face.”

Haru: “Yeah, I had slept well-!”

Kakeru: “It’s a given you'd ask about Haru-san’s peculiar sense of movie direction.”

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[MESSAGE] Whenever I’m feeling anxious or sad and I listen to Growth’s music, it always turns my mood around. I love the music that Mamoru composes and Growth puts out!!

Mamoru (from Growth): “On behalf of Growth, thank you very much! These feelings are like nourishment for the pachira of my soul!”

Heartbreak Red: “We’re looking forward to more amazing music!”

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[REQUEST] I’m not feeling confident in myself, and I’m worried about my future. I’d like to hear some words from Shun-sama so that I can live with my head held high!!

Shun: “Be proud that you were able to catch my eye with your request. Someone that is proud no matter their appearance, upbringing, or place is strong and beautiful.”

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[REQUEST] I’m worried about entering high school. I want to be encouraged by youthful SOARA!

Heartbreak Red: “Hey! SOARA!”

Sora (from SOARA): “Okay everyone, let’s go! Bursting~!!”

SOARA: “Youth!!!”

Morihito (from SOARA): “Be sure to make a lot of memories in high school!”

Heartbreak Red: “So refreshing!!”

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[ADVICE] Good evening, Red-san~ I’m a third year student at an overseas college. I study Japanese for six hours each day in addition to studying for my actual major, but I don’t think it’s a very efficient way to learn Japanese. I’d like to ask the two Six Gravity seniors if they know of a more effective study method.

Heartbreak Red: “Come on out, you two!”

Haru: “Six hours is a lot! Japanese seems like a difficult language to learn, but it makes me happy seeing you put so much passion info it♪"

Hajime: "I think you should study while having fun and use media you're interested in to help learn. Why not try watching movies with Japanese subtitles or reading manga as a study method? It will hold your interest and allow you to take a breather from regular studying."

Heartbreak Red: "Good luck with your studies!"

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[MESSAGE] Shou-san, every time I see you, your hair looks so fluffy! Do you have a shampoo recommendation?

Shou (from ROCK DOWN): "Thanks for your kind words. The shampoo I use is... whatever Haruto picked out... What was it called again...?"

Heartbreak Red: "Are all the white-haired people like this???"

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[ADVICE] I love Sakuraba Ryota-kun too much~ Help me, Heartbreak Red and Pool of Blood Red!! [Pool of Blood Red is Ryota's red alter ego] Ryota (from Growth): "I don't know anything about pools of blood, but if you're mind's made up about submitting your entire being to that deep sea I wouldn't mind."

Heartbreak Red: "So aloof, Pool of Blood R-"

Ryota: "That's not me!!!!"

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[OTHER] Good evening, Heartbreak Red-san! I've been waiting for this year's April Fool's Day! I noticed a lot of Uduki-san's visuals last year had his tongue showing, so I was wondering if this trend will continue? If Red-san were to do that too, it would be super cute~ Looking forward to supporting you in the future.

Heartbreak Red: "(´ڡ`)＜So you like me like this, do you?"

Heartbreak Red: "Ah, I'm not Uduki-san though."

You: "This is confusing."

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[REQUEST] Heartbreak Red-san! I want to ask what Dai-chan's favorite dessert he's had recently is!

Heartbreak Red: "Dai-chan-san!"

Dai (from SolidS): "Recently... Shiki brought back some souvenir snacks. It had cream cheese in it and since then I've been addicted to them. So those are probably my recent favorite."

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[OTHER] Roa-kun! Rei-kun! Let's have a remote flower viewing drinking party together!

Roa (from Infinit0): "Do you have any drinks on hand?"

Rei (from Infinit0): "While looking at the cherry blossoms..."

Heartbreak Red: "Cheers!"

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[REQUEST] I'm finally a college student~! Registering for classes is so difficult, but I'll try to fit in all my credits! I'd like to hear some encouragement from people who've already survived college!

Survivor Shiki (from SolidS): "College life aged me."

Heartbreak Red: "Please say something more supportive lololol."

Shiki: "The possibilities are endless. Make sure to enjoy the experience."

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[REQUEST] Good evening, Gaku-san! What's something that made you happy recently?

Gaku (from ROCK DOWN): "I went into this random restaurant on a whim yesterday and the pasta was really good... (beams). And the cherry blossoms I saw around town were pretty. It's those little things that I enjoy~♪"

Heartbreak Red: "Now I'm hungry..."

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[MESSAGE] To Hokekyo-kun: Thanks for healing me all the time with your cuteness! I love you! - From A Hokekyo-kun Fan

Heartbreak Red: "What an amazing fan mail!!"

Hokekyo (Haru's pet bird): "Ho~~~~Hokekyo!!!" [the bird is named after the sound it makes]

Haru: "That chirp was more perky than usual♪"

Hokekyo: "Hoo~ ❤️"

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(@tsukiuta1)

#tsukiuta #heartbreak red #april fools #twitter translation #my translation #ah yes pool of blood red #i stan

41 notes · View notes

rq-s · 3 years

Text

Title: Lucid Dreams - Chapter 1

Word Count: 2680

Warnings: Mingyu is featured heavily in the first few chapters and is directly involved in significant plot events. Due to recent events, I understand if reading these chapters may make you uncomfortable, but be aware that you’d be missing core story elements by skipping them. (Details)

Lucid Dreams Masterlist

Prologue |

It was an hour after dawn, the streets were busy with students and workers on their commute. Yn gazed out of her apartment window, forlornly missing when she would do that. Why wasn’t I doing that? I should still be in college, worrying about scores and my social life.

She was still slowly waking up, with unfocused eyes and bad balance, as she sat at her desk. She shifted in her chair and faced her journal again, with two blank pages staring up at her.

It started as a school project, but it turned into a habit that Yn kept through her youth.

Yn stood and left it open without having written anything, frustrated with herself. If she had dreamt last night, it was long gone from her mind, and she had nothing else to write. There were more days like this lately. Update-less, absent days.

Eventually, Yn left the apartment complex with her phone and wallet and walked the familiar path. For weeks she had been going on walks around town, and she’d always somehow pass by the same peculiar store. She found herself lingering there, wanting to go in just to have her questions answered, but something within herself always stopped her. Online searches turned up very little. Just some patents, an under construction website, a local news article, and a few social media postings by previous customers. Everything she found only made her more curious.

The town seemed quiet, though it wasn’t ever busy. It made the journey to Dream Store a peaceful one, even as Yn's nervousness began to bubble.

She arrived a few hours before noon, the sunlight warm and shining brightly past the cartoonish and fluffy clouds. The well-tended potted plants, power washed sidewalk, and neon sign all had a strangely comforting feeling to them that welcomed her. Even the grey layered siding was sweet, despite how it clashed with the surrounding architecture. Yn stood on the sidewalk, facing the front patio, and hardened her resolve. Today would be her first time seeing what it was like inside; she refused to put it off anymore.

Yn approached the door in quick strides and read the print on the window before entering. “Dream Store | keeping hold of our hearts.”

Her breathing went still as soon as she pulled the door open. It was more spacious inside than the exterior led on, having a pastel pallet and being well lit. It felt like the door way was more then just the entrance to a business.

The first thing to see was the bar. A fairly long one, taking up most of the far wall, yet was still tucked in the corner. From the left wall towards the center were eight different taps, and on a counter behind the bar were two large blenders, a sink, and a small ice cream station with five flavors. A small Bluetooth speaker on the end of the counter was playing instrumental lo-fi, and somehow the air itself felt light and bubbly against her skin. On the wall above the bar was a large LED menu with what appeared to all be beverages in narrow-necked glass bottles. On the little space that was left against the far wall was a freezer, decorated in stickers and notes. So it’s a juice bar? The tweets just mentioned ice cream. There was a hallway by the fridge, presumably leading to bathrooms and the staff area. In front of that and against the right wall were wood tables and chairs with mismatched cushions. There were similar tables meant for two on the left side, with what seemed to be medium sized square lockers, and two vending machines full of those same bottled drinks from the LED screen. It all felt surreal, it was too perfect.

“Excuse me?” Yn’s attention was brought back to reality by the voice of man, one she hadn’t even seen standing behind the bar until that moment. His fingers were intertwined and rested gently on the bar while he leaned forward, as if he’d been calling her for a while. Once he saw he had her attention, he stood upright and smiled sincerely.

“Welcome to our Dream Store!” It was as if the entire scenario was a prank, he was an actor and this business was a set. Everything was still and quiet, with nothing and nobody in existence but this store and the two of them.

Finally, Yn approached the bar.

Instead of a name tag, the name Mingyu was sewn onto the collar of his white dress shirt. He was very tall, and his uniform was clearly tailored for to fit him perfectly. His smile was kind and courteous as he spoke to her.

“Is this your first time here?” He asked gently, but with no less energy in his voice than before. Yn nodded.

“Gotcha, let’s find you a table then.” He chirped, and walked around from behind the bar, grabbing a physical menu from somewhere behind the register. “Do you like to sit by the window, or in the corner?”

“Anywhere that lets me see the exits, please.” She answered softly. Mingyu didn’t seem phased by her request and tapped his chin in thought while looking around. Only then did Yn notice one of the benches by the hallway was taken, where two teenage girls were fast asleep. It wasn’t uncommon to see college kids or overworked employees taking powernaps at cafés, but seeing them sleeping so peacefully while hunched over the table was something Yn found odd. Are those pillows matching the seat cushions?

Mingyu decided to seat her at one of the tables for two, the one closest to the taps on the bar. She could observe the whole store there, and had a clear view of the front door and the hallway, while sitting snugly in the corner by the vending machines. Yn sat down carefully as Mingyu set the menus in front of her. Sitting down brought her attention up, making her notice the peculiar ceiling with exposed beams, cords, pipes, and ducts, all painted white to match the ceiling itself. Something about the unconventional look of it was comforting for Yn, as if the establishment itself was being laid bare for her.

“First, thank you for coming in, we really appreciate your interest,” He smiled awkwardly for a moment before continuing, “I’m going to get someone from the back to watch the register for me, feel free to look at that menu in the meantime.” Mingyu lowered his head a tiny bit then swiftly headed down the hallway.

Thank you for visiting our Dream Store! All the staff here are proud of our beverages, passionate about our purpose, and excited to give you a safe, enjoyable experience when you spend time with us. We believe that we offer your community something special, not only with our drinks, but with our potential to give each visitor a unique and individualized experience.

Mingyu came back before she could read further, with another tall young man behind him, who promptly went behind the counter and washed his hands after smiling in acknowledgment to her. He seemed familiar, but she didn’t know why or how. Mingyu sat himself across from her with a sigh, feeling very nervous and struggling to act like he wasn’t.

“Alright, sorry about that. Did you get a chance to look at the menu?”

“Only the first paragraph.”

“Okay cool, the way the menu explains it is kind of weird, so it’s better that I do it.” Yn only grew more confused. She watched as Mingyu glanced over towards the other man, she wanted to look back to see what was going on, but didn’t. Instead, Yn watched as Mingyu squinted, shook his head in confusion, and then silently gasped in realization, all within a few moments. Mingyu swallowed and nodded to himself before redirecting his focus back to her.

“Is it alright if I know your name?”

“Uh, sure? It’s Yn.” He nodded formally and put on awkward smile.

“It's nice to meet you, I’m Mingyu. Like I said, thanks for coming in today.” He failed to fight the cringe on his own face and hurried past it.

“Essentially, we can offer you different kinds of drinks: juices, sodas, and smoothies. They’re all made by us, with our recipes, and you can either have them made for here or to go, or even from the coolers right here.” He leaned over and patted the cooler that had a variety of colored drinks in sturdy glass bottles.

“Why do you need to explain that to me?” She asked without thinking, having already picked up on the fact that this was a place that sold beverages. It was a selling point that they concoct them themselves, and that they can do all this seemingly without a big brand to fund them, but she doubted that it required introduction to every new customer. Yn heard the man behind the register chuckle, then try to hide it with a cough.

“I was getting there.” He stammered, his face flushing a soft red.

“If you’d like to have something here, there’s the option to make it a sleep aid. We call it a Sleepy. With those, we prepare the drink as we usually would, but instead of the liquid sugar we usually use, we use a mix of liquid sugar and drowsiness medicine. We’ve been able to use that in a low volume but effective dose to allow our customers to have a refreshing drink, followed by a recharging nap.” Yn watched him cringe again as he tried his best to explain it without making it sound as bizarre as it was. He continued as soon as she tried to comment, eager to get it the introduction over with.

“You don’t need to worry though! When a visitor picks one of our sleepy drinks, we give them a key to their corresponding table, and that key opens one of those lockers. You can put your things there beforehand so you know they’re safe while you sleep. We have cameras in here and outside, and there’s always at least one member of staff on duty who's trained to handle altercations of any kind, and all of us are trained in first aid and emergency procedures like CPR.” There was another chuckle from behind her, and he didn’t even try to hide it this time. Mingyu glared at him, and this gave Yn her opening to speak.

“So you take safety seriously, that’s good…” She was at a loss of what to say, having been bombarded with information, all of it outside of what she’d expected. She wasn't sure what the odds were leaning toward: him having a scripted yet speedy and thorough defense to any worries or questions she’d have, or that he’d flounder as soon as she asked for details.

“Of course we do. We know it’s a risk to just take a nap at a café. Especially one run but a bunch of young adult guys. But we’re trying something new that no one else in the world is doing, and we really believe in it.” Mingyu’s sudden sentiment was sincere, and his nervousness looked more like vulnerability now. Something compelled her to trust him. Maybe what he was saying about having something completely unique wasn’t true, Yn had no clue, but it might as well be for a town like theirs.

“You’ll notice that we have 13 distinct drink options available right now, each one named after a member of the staff.” Mingyu opened the menu and flipped a few pages till Yn could see depictions of each of the drinks. They were colorful, and beautifully presented on the pages, with descriptions of each one. He stopped on a page of cool toned drinks.

“Let’s say you come in and decide to order a Sleepy Mingyu, that’s this one,” He pointed to the deep purple iced drink and tapped its picture fondly. “It’ll come in a medium glass bottle, with a straw and napkin of course, along with a locker key that corresponds to whatever table you pick. While we’re making it, you can put your stuff in the locker, and inside the locker will be a small pillow, but you don’t have to use it if you don’t want to. We switch the covers after every use and wash all of them each night, so don’t worry about that either. You can decide to keep the key with you, or give it to whoever’s at the register for safekeeping.” He began to ramble again, wracking his brain to make sure he mentioned everything Yn could possibly need to know while to keep himself from growing too embarrassed. She sat there patiently, listening as he helped her understand. He seemed to grow more uneasy with each word.

“You’ll probably want to wait at your table till the drink is done, it usually takes less than five minutes. We’ll bring it to you.”

Mingyu paused and took a deep breath, biting the inside of his cheek in thought, picking his words carefully. He hadn’t looked at her since his sentiment about safety and now it seemed like he was actively choosing not to look up at her.

“The Sleepys only come in medium because the drowsiness medicine is fast acting, and we try to make sure that you’ll have enough time to finish it all before you fall asleep.” He looked to the man behind the counter, and this time Yn dared to look at him too. But he only looked at Mingyu, giving his coworker an encouraging, albeit aggressive, thumbs up. Mingyu shook his head.

“This is really weird, Jun. How do you guys explain this kind of thing without seeming creepy?!” He seemed deeply upset, frustrated and on the verge of tears. It suddenly felt like Yn was intruding on something private.

“Take a breath, okay?” The man came around the counter and spoke gently to his colleague, kneeling to the ground like a father would when speaking to a child. He was close enough now that Yn could read the name on his collar as Junhui. He put his hand on Mingyu’s knee and squeezed it a few times, urging him to relax. Then he turned to Yn.

“Once you finish your drink, you’re gonna fall asleep, and we’ll watch over you while you do. You’ll have a great dream, and we’ll wake you up at whatever time you told us to when you ordered, or after you’ve been asleep for 2 hours.” Junhui stood back up, and patted Mingyu’s shoulder while still looking at Yn.

“Mingyu is a really great guy. He cares a lot about people and about what we're trying to do here. And if you ask me, his drink is one of the best.” Junhui’s smile was warm and his tone of voice was calming as he praised his friend. Mingyu still couldn’t look at her, facing away from her entirely and looking downtrodden. Yn didn’t know what to say and instead decided to read the blurb about Mingyu's concoction.

A sweetly rich concord grape flavored soda! Mingyu’s soda brings one’s imagination to life, while remaining proud and inspired.

“I’ll try it.” She spoke casually, trying to imagine what such a drink would taste like. It had been so long since she’d had a grape flavored drink of any kind, and something carbonated sounded great in that moment.

“You don’t have to.” Mingyu said pitifully, assuming she chose his drink to help him feel better.

“The picture looks really pretty, I wanna see if it really looks like that.” Her bluntness stunned him, and he wondered if she was bluffing. Even so, he resolved to grin and bare it, standing up from the table. Junhui stepped back and smiled, leaving silently as Mingyu went back behind the counter.

“Alright… Let’s get it ordered then!” He bolstered, ready to reaffirm himself in the form of a fancy looking grape juice.f

#rq-s lucid dreams #seventeen #svt #seventeen x reader #mingyu x reader #kim mingyu x reader #svt mingyu x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #seventeen au #just a note: i'm not sure about hwo realisticly possible the concept of the slyy drinks is #i spent some time researching it but just remeber that this isnt suposed to refelt reality 100%#aka please dont get mad at me if it's weird logistically #id also like to say that in no way shape or form are th esleepys intended to be similar to a club drug or any other type of nefarious drug #im sorry if this makes anyone uncomfortable #please bear with me as things are explained farther in futuer chapters #but rest assured that that kind fo content isnt goign to be in this story in any capacity #ANYWAY this is the first chapter!#after this we'll start getting into more fanfictiony content with the boys but there will still be a bit more explanaton of things #but this is hopefully the most heavy handed that will be #im trying to integrate it better but this was the best i could manage for this section #i hope it wasnt too confusing and if you have any questions please feel free to ask!!#thank you for reading <3

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elichorph · 4 years

Text

ok hi i’m back with a second character ...

the member of the yale's elite, they're twenty three and a grad student majoring in film & media studies. they are as amicable as they are histrionic.

stats:

full name: gordon minjun teller nicknames: goose. gordon is for business only age: twenty three birthday: june 13, 1997 chart: gemini sun / cancer moon / leo rising gender: cis male pronouns: he / him sexuality: bisexual & biromantic height: 6′1 hair color: blue (now blonde) tattoos: none piercings: nose stud (right side), earlobes (always have silver hoops in them)

PINTEREST BOARD

blackmail:

while the public believes that goose’s family retired and moved to another country, this was actually released as a coverup because they went missing. goose withheld information from the court about their last whereabouts which could have prevented it from becoming a cold case.

he was expelled from high school after vandalizing a statue on campus and his uncle paid the school to go back on their decision.

he lost a third of his inheritance money to a cult he briefly followed in his sophomore year of college while looking for guidance.

backstory:

tw: implied death

right at birth, goose was adopted into the teller family who were pretty well known. his father was a young ceo of an oil company in texas. goose’s family eventually became public figures and tabloid favorites after a long riveting love story between his father and mother, who belonged to opposing business families. it really was a quick rise and fall to fame, starting when it was revealed goose’s adoptive mom, grace, couldn’t have kids, he was in her arms not even a month after and right out of them thirteen years later when she disappeared and the family really was never to be heard of again.

but as the only adopted child into a family who had to keep their public image up, goose’s dreams of being a fun loving kid were crushed. really, it was strictly gordon - gordon on the tabloids, you’d see his baby face like aw thank god grace got to have a kid of her own <3 he was posted up at galas, listening to his dad speak about oil and shit every weekend and going back to his small private school every monday and it was just the same routine conditioning to keep the image of the teller family spotless and to hopefully get gOrDoN to become the next ceo.

that all kind of went to shit though when goose turned 14. his parents miraculously went missing (don’t ask me what happened i don’t even know) one night when he was tucked into bed. seriously, he woke up one morning and they were gone and suddenly there were police storming the house and he was being questioned and things weren’t routine or safe anymore. in order to still save face for the family though, news was quickly put out that the family went on a private vacation while the investigation went on privately. it was taken to court, people signed nda’s, and all little goose knew was that he his parents were going to a party that night and hadn’t told anybody else and he was too scared to tell anyone. at one point goose became the main suspect and he had to put his freshman year of high school on pause, but he was dismissed months after even though he hadn’t shared the detail that they went to a party. if he had shared it, they literally would’ve been found. eventually, there were no new leads, the case was declared cold, and an official statement was put out that the teller parents “retired” and “moved” to a different country that wouldn’t be disclosed and gOrDoN would be under the care of his uncle.

gordon was like mad though haha. even though he’d gotten his family’s entire inheritance as a fifteen year old and should’ve been happy that he was basically a millionaire, he wasn’t used to things not being in the same routine and actually having to make decisions for himself. newsflash, but goose can’t handle emotions really well and he got angry and well i don’t know if you’ve seen donnie darko where donnie literally put an axe through the statue’s head and spray painted “they made me do it” below the statue? but yeah, that. goose wasn’t slick though, got caught by security, and his uncle paid the school to let it slide and then sent goose to a boarding school in maruland.

he spent the last couple years of high school trying to figure out who he actually was outside of the tabloids and the teller name and image, and eventually got the hang of it by the time he enrolled at yale. he started going by goose instead of gordon, went into film instead of business like his family wanted him to and slowly started to blossom into the weirdo he is today <3 his dad was in the elites so he was able to secure a legacy spot and reluctantly said yes to joining. he was kinda quiet the first year, but now he’s all gungho to do charity events and make people happy and shit like that.

his sophomore year though he kinda doubted the path he was on and his naive ass got roped up into a cult. anyways, he ended up trusting them a lot and donated 1/3 of his family’s inheritance to the cult and kinda blew it. goose was acting hella weird around this time though, i imagine people around him could kinda sense he wasn’t like alright for a few months. anyways someone ended up giving him an intervention about acting kinda whack and he realized and thankfully was able to leave the cult pretty unscathed. but he is deeply, deeply ashamed about his time in the cult though.

personality:

he is one gigantic deranged baby. like he is baby, but he’s also kind of crazy. if goose feels any normal emotion, it instantly bass boosts and he feels it in full. goose genuinely is so sensitive, he’ll physically flinch if you say something merely mean to him because he was used to growing up so perfect that he really can’t take criticism. however, he’ll do his best to patch things up by saying some incomprehensible joke right there and then. the only exception to this is the tabloids. goose has become so immune to them that he will straight up troll them back on twitter because he just doesn’t give two shits.

he’s incredibly kind. so so so kind (not really gentle though). the type to remember your favorite candy bar and hand one to you on a random tuesday. he’ll remember your name even if you’ve only met once and even if you didn’t give him your name, he’ll look it up somehow just so he knows next time. he loves to make jokes all the time. none of them ever make sense, but they’re funny to him and he won’t apologize for it. and he’s LOUD. you probably can hear his cackles and snorts and dramatic screams even when you’re on the other side of campus. he’s just a kid in a candy store excited to finally enjoy life, especially now that things have seemed to settle down. even though he’ll probably have a whole breakdown and a half the first time the blackmailer mentions his name.

yes, he actually believes he’s being haunted by jfk. goose had a string of dreams about him and witnessed some doors opening and closing on their own around the same time, and he quickly jumped to the conclusion and never thought twice about it. another strange belief that goose has? that he’s friends with a ton of a-listers. even though it’s mainly jessica alba, he won’t hesitate to tweet at extremely famous actors and thank them for getting lunch with him even if they’ve never spoke. multiple management companies have his twitter handle blacklisted. while he currently has blue hair, it’s always quick to change. for how much he dyes it, it’s surprising that it doesn’t feel like hay. if goose feels a mental breakdown coming or simply is bored or needs attention, his hair color will do a straight 180. he hasn’t had a natural hair color since he enrolled at yale.

things that are very goose: beat up yellow high top converse, getting to know every person in existence, having memes plastered over his wall to make him smile after a long day, wearing fancy cologne to the grocery store because one cashier said he smelled good and he thinks it makes them happy to wear that, throwing a shoe across a crowd at a party, going to sulk in the bathroom or leave the party early when a song plays that brings up bad memories, keeping every movie stub, restaurant punch card, and lost button in a little scrapbook just because he wants to remember the good things in life, thinking the karate kid is the best movie to ever exist despite being five years into a film major.

wanted connections

since he doesn’t have any pre-established connections, here are some ones that could kinda be fun

someone who protects his naive ass <3

an ex or old one sided crush who hurt him so bad lmao. they really wouldn’t have to a lot to do that, but it would be juicy if they did

roommate? maybe? he lived in a really shitty apartment his first few years, maybe they convinced him to move out or moved in

or neighbors? like he will knock on their door 3 times a week with half burnt brownies to offer or because he doesn’t know where his tv remote is and needs help

someone who gave him the intervention about like “you’re acting weird are you okay” that indirectly got him to leave the cult and he feels like he’s forever indebted to them

someone who just despises goose and he doesn’t understand why and tries to make things better even though it just makes things worse

family friends? maybe? when he was in ct and his uncle didn’t let him come home with him during the holidays he would go to their house or something like that

gentle romance <3 maybe. Please

he’s their secret admirer and sends them gifts and flowers and writes them bad poems and recommends them shitty romance films

someone who takes advantage of how naive he is

anything <3 come 2 me or i will dm you or venmo you and force u to plot with me

#intro

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paradisobound · 5 years

Text

Starstruck

Summary: Phil attends all of Dan Howell’s concerts. In fact, he makes it a rule to even record every one he goes to. You could say he was in love with Dan Howell and in fact, that wouldn’t be a lie because he’s actually Dan’s fiancé. Too bad Dan’s fans see him as the creepy guy at Dan’s concerts.

Warnings: A brief mention of sex but not explicit.

Word Count: 3.6k

Genre: Famous singer!Dan and present!phil

A/N: I thought of this fic after finding out Sophie Turner attends a lot of the Jonas Brother’s Concerts because of Joe and I thought it would be cute to write a fic with a slightly different side! Happy reading :)

**Read on Ao3**

“Dan Howell we love you!”

“Dan! Dan! Dan!”

Phil groaned as looked through the screen of his phone at the video recording of his fiancé up on stage. That was one thing Dan did make Phil promise to do if Phil was going to be attending every concert on his tour: record each show.

So, Phil, being the best fiancé he could be, made a bunch of storage onto an old iPhone he found laying around their flat and proceeded to record and attend each show on Dan’s United States Tour. Tonight, they were in some place called Buffalo and Phil couldn’t really make out what was even going on here besides the fact that Canada and Niagara Falls was literally on the other side of the city.

It was night 13 and although Phil knew Dan would never admit it, Dan was tired. Phil could tell on the screen as his body lagged a bit more than it did in rehearsals and his singing was a bit off key. Not like any of the screaming girls and boys could tell the difference but Phil had been to enough rehearsals and shows to tell with Dan was struggling a bit with his energy.

But, it was the last song before the encore. Phil’s phone battery was struggling to hold on and his arm was getting a bit tired holding it as steady as he could for Dan’s big ‘project’ that he wants the footage for.

“Remember that the footage has to be usable, Phil. That means I don’t want your shaky arm trying to focus on me.”

Phil laughed in his head as he replayed Dan’s words to him the night Phil told him he was attending each show and Dan told him about his master plans—which were also a secret…to Phil anyway. Phil hadn’t pushed the matter when Dan had made it clear he didn’t want to tell anyone his plan so Phil had just went along with it. Although he does in a way wish he could know why he’s getting an arm ache every night.

The music to Dan’s final song cuts out and everyone starts cheering. Dan’s smiling, Phil’s smiling back, knowing Dan can’t see him but he can feel it, and everything has gone perfectly once again for another night.

Dan walks off the stage and the band continues to play and Phil sees a few people begin to trickle out from the corner of his eye but he just shrugs it off as people wanting to leave early or wanting to beat the crowd. He tries not to feel a little bit hurt when he sees some people leave the show early even though an irrational part of his brain wants people to stay and see what his fiancé is doing on the stage.

Its radio silent in the stadium. Phil is still shocked that Dan managed to sell out a nearly 40,000 person stadium but he has. Just as people look defeated and ready to leave, Dan comes back out in an entirely new outfit and the whistles and cheers begin again.

Dan’s final two songs are Phil’s favorite. But that’s honestly because they’re about him. If people didn’t know the meaning of Dan’s songs, they would think they were about a childhood love or even a teenage love that blossomed into more. They wouldn’t know that they, quite literally, told the world about his and Phil’s long-term relationship.

As Dan belted out the lyrics about blue eyes and raven hair, Phil felt the hair on his arm prickle up a bit and goosebumps form. He always gets chills. He remembers when Dan first wrote the pieces and read the lyrics to Phil. Phil had cried so hard and just held Dan close as Dan just giggled and kissed his cheek.

“Why are you crying?”

“Because they’re beautiful, Dan.”

“Yeah, well, you’re just as beautiful too.”

It was cheesy. Of course it was. But in the words of another Dan lyric, “it was meant to be cheesy”.

Just as Phil’s phone gives the final battery warning, Dan’s set finally ends and a shower of sparks sprays up as confetti falls all over the floor. Phil reached out and caught a few pieces himself and pocketed them in his jean jacket. He was saving those for his own special surprise.

Dan left the stage and the lights slowly turned on and Phil waited for the mass crowd of girls around him to dissipate before he snuck around to the stage entrance and visited Dan in the dressing room.

Dan’s security guards knew him by face so he didn’t have to say anything when he walked behind the stage and ended up by a door that he opened to a long hallway. When he got the dressing room and saw Dan’s name on the door, he knocked once and pressed it open.

“Hey!”

Phil shut the door behind him as he walked in to Dan sprawled out on the couch, his arms flopped down by his side. “You did amazing tonight.”

Dan turned his head and smiled at him, his face red and a bit sweaty, his make up a bit melted. “You’d say that even if I fucked up every song.”

Phil walked over and sat down on the other end of the couch. Dan immediately sat up and scooted towards Phil before flopping into his chest and relaxing. Phil wrapped his arm around Dan’s upper body and pulled him close, bending down and kissing the top of his head.

Just as Dan’s body relaxed a bit further and Phil felt the rest of his muscles tense, the door opened and Dan’s manager walked in, her phone in head. “We’re going to have to leave within the hour to get on the road towards Pittsburgh.”

Dan just nodded and smiled at her as he pulled away from Phil and stretched. He was still fully in his costume—well, it was an outfit but it was pretty costume-like too in Phil’s opinion but the sparkles and glitter sequins on the black leather covering Dan’s arms.

“You should get dressed,” Phil says turning to Dan. “Tonight is going to be a tour bus night and I don’t feel like having you complain the entire time that your jeans are too constricting.”

Dan scoffed and reached out, slapping his arm. “That was once and you had no problem helping me get the jeans off so I don’t want to hear you complain, you twat.”

Phil just giggled and leaned over, capturing Dan’s lips in a quick kiss. He still gets butterflies in his chest when he kisses Dan and he loves that. He loves that Dan still has the same affect on him as he did when they were teenagers, meeting for the first time in a bar in Manchester. Dan was singing for a cover band and Phil was just a lonely college student looking to have a few drinks.

It was really like fate that they actually took each other to bed that same night but then both simultaneously decided that being together only once wasn’t going to cut it and nearly ten years and one proposal later, here they were. Phil supporting Dan on tour as Phil works from his laptop for the BBC.

“Maybe if you’re good we can celebrate in the hotel room tomorrow night,” Dan whispers before pressing another kiss to Phil’s lips. Phil just smiles into it and kisses back one more time for good measure.

“Hm…maybe.”

Dan shoves Phil back with a laugh as he finally stands up and makes his way over to his suitcase in the corner that was filled with all of his stuff. Phil watched as he took off his outfit and hung it on a hanger for the crew to grab later and then put on a pair of sweatpants and Phil’s baggy York University sweatshirt.

Phil gave that to Dan when they first started dating so when Dan went back home at night, he would still have Phil with him. Now, Phil would love to have that hoodie back but Dan quite literally growls when Phil even makes that suggestion so he lets Dan have it now.

They grab the rest of Dan’s stuff and then make their way out the back to their tour bus and get inside with minimal people around…thankfully. They take a seat on one of the couches on the side and Dan curls up onto Phil just as Phil wraps his arms around him once more.

They’ll go to the bedroom soon where they’ll sleep but for right now, they were just going to sit and relax for the ride.

***

Something surprising happens when Phil wakes up the next morning, a bit disoriented as he realizes he’s on the moving bus. He checks his phone and goes on Twitter and sees that ‘Daniel Howell Live’ is still trending on Twitter. He curiously checks the hashtag because hey, if he can find some good video and good photos for PR, he’ll have Dan’s manager ask the people for permission to use them. So he scrolls a bit and he scrolls a bit more and suddenly there is a photo of him, stood at his seat, recording the show.

Has anyone else noticed this guy is at every show??? What does a middle aged man go to all of Dan’s shows?? That’s creepy.

After that tweet, there was a thread and apparently there was a photo of him taken at every show and he legit didn’t know about it. He, in fact, had zero idea anyone was taking his photo and he genuinely was a bit freaked out by it.

He read a few more tweets.

He’s been at every show I’ve gone to! I’ve noticed him! Maybe he’s a stalker of Dan…how gross. Dan’s not gay.

Phil had to scoff at that, loud enough that Dan turned over in his sleep and settled his weight into Phil’s chest, knocking his phone slightly out of the way so his head could rest there. “What are you laughing at?” Dan asked, his sleepy voice so slurred Phil could hardly understand what he was talking about.

“Just some tweet I read saying you weren’t gay.”

Dan snorted and reached up, making grabby hands for Phil’s phone so Phil handed it over and Dan sat up a bit and looked at the tweets. “These are actually kind of laughable.”

“I know.”

“They think you’re my stalker.” Dan laughed. “Who even pays attention to whether or not someone is at a show every night?”

Phil shrugged because he genuinely didn’t know either.

Phil knew that fans speculated about Dan’s sexuality though. Really, it’s been a source of talk ever since Dan’s first big break a few years back when he opened up for Taylor Swift on her European Tour. But Phil also knows that Dan has made it completely clear that he wants to keep his sexuality and his relationship with Phil only for private. And Phil completely gets that.

They’ve been out since they started dating to close friends and family. Phil’s been out to everyone he’s known since university. But Dan has always had a bit more trouble accepting his sexuality and for that, Phil understands Dan’s hesitation when he says he’s not ready to share that side of his life yet.

But Phil loves Dan more than anything else. He loves his smile, his dimples, his laugh, and the way he insults him when they’re being silly. But he also loves the side of Dan no one sees. The side where sex and love and intimacy is involved. He even let a selfish part of himself think about that while they were in bed together the other night. A part of him that when he fucked into Dan, he thought about how no one else knew this side of Dan: this was the side that only Phil got to see.

“Hm…” Dan says, breaking Phil’s thoughts. “It’s quite amusing to me that so many fans are so adamant to say I’m straight. Like, I think it’s actually quite obvious that I’m gay in the same way that I know it’s obvious I like dick but…”

Phil squeaked and pushed a hand over Dan’s mouth to get him to stop that thought right there and Dan just opened his lips and licked a fat stripe over Phil’s palm that had Phil cringing and pulling his hand away.

“You’re easy to break, ya know.” Dan says, laying his head on Phil’s chest so he can look up him. His big brown doe eyes were like pools that Phil could get lost in.

“It’s because I love you too much.”

Dan kisses Phil’s chest. “Mm…love you too.”

They get off from the bus not long after to check into their hotel and put their suitcases in their room. Afterwards, it was straight to the venue to prepare and do the soundcheck and Phil was going to walk around and explore Pittsburgh a bit more, seeing as he’s never been before.

That night, he ends up in the same floor pit that he was in the night before, like he always is, with his phone fully charged and ready to go. He sends Dan a quick ‘good luck, i love you so much’ message before he puts his phone away and takes out the one to record.

The show goes smoothly and everyone is happy and the night ends the same way with Phil retreating back and visiting Dan just as Dan is getting out of his costume. He leaves with Dan to go to the hotel and when they get back into the room, he goes on Twitter again and happens to see the same thread but with new photos of him.

The man was at Pittsburgh too!! Does @danielhowell know he has a stalker?? Should we contact the police?

Phil rolled his eyes and showed Dan the tweets to which Dan replied with an eye roll and a “for fucks sake!” before he flopped onto the bed and rolled towards Phil to snuggle.

“Gonna have to get security after me apparently,” Phil playfully jokes.

Dan swings his leg over Phil’s hip and sits flush on his hips as he leans down and kisses Phil soundly on the mouth. “Maybe so.” He whispers with a smirk, placing his hand on Phil’s jaw. “Maybe I’ll have to tell security that a hot guy has been chasing after me since my uni days and he follows me to all of my concerts and he also happens to be my fiancé who is fucking great in bed and…yeah, I’d really like to continue the great in bed part right about now.”

So after a quick round of sex that left them both breathless, Phil fell asleep with the thoughts in his mind about what they were supposed to do. Dan had a two day break before his show in Albany so he hopes by then maybe everyone will forget about him.

But somehow, he fears they won’t.

***

Dan flubs up on accident in Albany.

Phil doesn’t realize what he’s done until the young girl sitting next to him on the floor is pointing out the silver band on Dan’s ring finger.

It’s his engagement ring and as soon as Phil sees it, his heart stops a bit in his chest because he knows Dan is gonna have to answer for this. He’s going to have to answer for why he suddenly is wearing a ring on that finger when he never did before…well, in the public eye anyway.

Phil proposed to Dan over three years prior but they both agreed on not planning any of their wedding until Dan’s done with his United States tour. Phil was completely fine with that but Dan wore his ring all of the time when it was just them or he was going out with friends.

He normally keeps it safe on the bus or in the safe in the hotel room but he must have forgotten to take it off.

And fuck other people are pointing now and he hopes to God Dan cannot notice what is happening.

At the end of the show, Phil practically runs to Dan’s dressing room where Dan is crying softly on the couch, his face scrunched up as he struggles to hold in the tears of guilt and frustration that he can read so clearly on Dan’s face. He runs over to him and gathers him tight as Dan lets them go and apologizes to Phil for wearing it.

“I forgot I had it on.” Dan said through strangled tears.

“It’s okay.”

“But it’s not!” Dan cried. “Oh my God I’ve fucked up so bad.”

And while that turned out to not be entirely true, Phil did reassure him as much as possible that everything was going to be okay.

***

The tabloids talk about it first.

Dan Howell Spotted With Mystery Ring on Left Hand in Albany Show.

That seemed to be the headline written everywhere like a slap across the face.

All of the fangirls were crying. What women is he secretly married to? What is that ring? When did this all happen? How could this all happen?

Phil felt like he had whiplash reading all of the comments.

“We’re going to have to address this,” Phil says softly.

“I know.”

They’re sat in a hotel in Boston now, waiting for the show to begin in a few hours. They had snuck away for a private talk and everyone had let them go. They needed to discuss this, no matter how hard it could be.

“I know you don’t want to out us…”

“No,” Dan says, biting his lip. “I…I think I have to.”

“You don’t have to,” Phil says. “You could always say you want to be private and…”

“How long is that privacy really going to last, Phil?” Dan asked, his voice defeated. “Is it going to last for a year or only for an hour? People are already commenting about you and you’ve done nothing…maybe we should just come out.”

“If that’s what you want.”

Dan bites his lip and bit harder and then looks Phil in the eyes as he nods. “It’s what I want.”

“Okay,” Phil says, leaning in for a kiss. “It’s what I want too.”

Phil wanted whatever was best for Dan and if this was best, then he wanted to go along with it.

They made their way back to the stadium and Phil opted for standing off the side of the stage instead of in the audience, just in case. He’d seen some of Dan’s earlier shows this way but never once has he seen him play such a sold out show from the sidelines.

They concert begins as normal and Phil notices that Dan is wearing his ring again, not taking it off and he feels his heart flutter a bit. Dan does his normal songs and routines and then before they know it, the encore is starting.

But right before it does, Dan asks if the audience can get quiet for a moment.

“As many of you all know,” he begins into his microphone. “The next few songs I have written are about someone very special in my life. I’ve been hiding them from you for a very long time now and I really just…don’t want to anymore. They’re such a massive part of who I am today and who I will be in the future and I don’t want to continue hiding them anymore. And it’s not fair to you guys either.

Suddenly Dan turns to where Phil is standing and Phil feels his heart give out a bit. Dan motions for Phil to walk out and Phil looks down at his black Vibes shirt and ripped jeans and feels like he’s not properly addressed for this but he starts walking out anyway and there are suddenly cheers and yells and Phil doesn’t know what’s happening.

“Everyone, meet my fiancé Phil.” Dan says, taking Phil’s hand and standing close to him. “You all have been talking about him quite a bit online so here is my apparent stalker who is actually just my fiancé and partner for the last 1o years.”

Dan leans over and kisses Phil on the cheek and Phil feels a bit flush at all of this. Like he doesn’t know what’s happening anymore but he also doesn’t entirely mind it.

“Okay, now get off the stage you dork. You’re stealing my show.”

Dan turns to Phil and wraps a hug around him and Phil hugs him back, holding him close as he kisses Dan’s neck once and lets him go, lingering their hands touching for a bit too long as he disembarks down the stage with Dan’s security guard and stands in the audience once again, looking up at Dan with all of the love in the world.

Social media went crazy that night, but really Phil didn’t mind. He went to the rest of the shows as promised and recorded all of them too. At the end of the tour, he finally asked Dan what the footage was for and Dan finally told him.

“It’s for our wedding.” He says, not adding anything more.

Phil just holds him tight and kisses his cheek some more.

Life is going to be a bit hectic for a while, but at least he won’t be seen as the stalker fan anymore, and now he’ll be treated as Dan’s fiancé: a title he is more than proud to have.

#phan #phanfiction #phanfic #fluff #smut #angst #princesslexi763fics

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wetwellie · 4 years

Text

somewhere in my brain there is a fully fleshed AU where Bitty is from an honest to god farm and is in charge of his family’s produce stand.

The produce stand for that farm outside of town has always been a more or less popular spot just off of campus. For those students who are really really sick of grilled cheeses and pizza and other bread+melted cheese based food products that make up nearly all of the dining options on campus, the stand offered delicious and in season fruits and vegetables. They are at a decent cost and outrageous quality. Students often came for the food, and stuck around for the drama.

For the first two years Jack was at Samwell, the stand was manned by two sisters. All that The Swallow’s unofficial guide to Samwell said about the stand was “If you want to see some honest to god entertainment, just ask about the Jam.” He tagged along with Shitty after practice a couple of times to see for himself. The apples were delicious, and Judy and Suzanne were so nice. ”Oh you two play Hockey? My son played on a Hockey team before we moved up here.” “Why doesn’t he play now?” Jack wants to ask, but he’s cut off by Shitty. “Which of these Jams does he like best?” “Mine” they both answer with a passion and fury that Jack has seldom seen off-ice.

Jack didn’t visit the stand much, though. He was much too preoccupied with Hockey and Being the Best and Never Failing to go out of his way just to be the one to get the fresh produce. Someone else in the Haus has always been the one to do that. Sometimes Shitty would burst into his room dumping all the “bounties of his travels” to the farm stand.

”Suzanne introduced me to her son as “Mr. Crappy” and Judy introduced me as “Shitty”. I swear to God man, the guy just sort of went through an entire debate in his head and just ended up calling me “sir”. “And this is important because?” “I got free pies” Shitty says, placing a the plastic container on the bed. “That kid is invited over any time” “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Isn’t the kid twelve?” “Eighteen next month, and gonna start running the stand full time starting in the summer” “Where are the sisters going?” Jack asks absently as he works to open up the container. “Expanding their farm empire it looks like” Shitty says as he passes him a paper plate and some plastic forks from their kitchen. “I didn’t tell you this, but there’s gonna be U Pick Apples in their Orchard starting next fall” “Why do I need to pick my own apples?” Jack asks. He takes one of the mini pies and brings it to his desk to eat. Shitty tries to get himself comfortable by one handedly shucking off all of his clothing. Jack gives him a glare, and Shitty decides to keep his briefs on before collapsing onto Jack’s bed. Jack turns to his pie and takes a bite. Jack isn’t one for his communication or flowy language. It’s suiting that the only thing he can do is turn to look Shitty in the eye and say “Holy shit”

“I know, right? It’s like eating love” “With a stick of butter and a cup of sugar on top” Jack notes. “And you said the kid made this?” Shitty nods, not able or willing to talk in between the pie he shovels into his mouth. Jack considers this, but says nothing else.

Bitty sends lots of calming videos to Jack from the farm

Jack talks about the classes that he takes He still takes the photography class Bitty shows up to his first game and ends up holding the sign for the Yo Marry Me Jack Zimmermann maker while she goes and gets popcorn. This, of course, is when the jumbotron hits him and jack can see and shit

“You’ve lived here for 5 years why do you still have your accent” “I don’t know, but it makes my road rage at people who cant drive in snow a lot more confusing for folks” Jack runs by in the summertime like…yknow that picture. Bitty tweets about it a lot. It’s worse when he actually stops by to chat with bitty in that condition. He asks him for some lemonade or water and he just…drinks it??? The fuck????? Or that one time he bought a peach and just ate it there with no care. Fuck you too Mister Zimmermann

And then there are the winters. The food stand is hardly ever open. Only twice a week. And its only honey and jams and preserved stuff. But god, Jack sees bitty all bundled up and still shivering.

He rallies the SMH to lend like, all of their scarves and warmest winter accessories for this boy. Bitty sees him come up with a huge ass bundle of scarves, and finds himself buried underneath said bundle. He’s warm, and thankful Jack can’t see the blush on his cheeks. Bitty in the winters does find himself at more games, and at the Haus a lot more often. He even sits in on some classes just for shits and giggles. But most of the time, he just makes friends

Bitty is made unofficial manager of the team. He can’t be official since he’s not technically a student of Samwell. Bitty is actually…pretty bummed about that. He wanted to be able to go to university and find himself and grow into his own skin. Shitty comforts him and says that he’s grown so much in the time that they’ve known each other. It really is astounding. And yeah, college isn’t for everyone. Sometimes it’s just…not in the cards. But don’t let that limit your grounds of success.

Bitty talks to jack about it, per the suggestion of shitty, and he says “when I was around the age to think about college, I never did. I never thought that was the plan. But it’s really helped and it lets me play. “ or something like that

Subplots is that Bitty tries to learn how to play hockey again.

Jack wont “waste his time” with it. He’s got his team to worry about. And he’s not even sure he’s allowed to. Shitty and Ransom and Holster, however, try to teach him. In exchange for teaching them “farm stuff”

(aka, he brings a horse to a Kegster and is uplifted into Legend status) (the horse is fine)

#check please #wipitgood #fic #au #please someone have a farmer bitty au #or like...stardew valley jack runs off to a small town and finds him there au

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stereksecretsanta · 4 years

Text

Merry Christmas, @snazzysterek!

I hope you enjoy this!

Read on AO3

*****

ready to start

“Goddammit,” Stiles said, and kicked back on his wheelie chair, banging into the wall of his shared office.

“What,” Isaac said, not even bothering to lift his head up from where he had it cradled on his arms, as he clicked through the latest issue of PNAS.

“R is not cooperating and I just need to get this analysis done before I can go home for the weekend,” Stiles whined, turning his chair around and poking Isaac’s head. “I need your R skills, man, help me out.”

“It’s 4:45 on a Friday,” Isaac said, shaking his head and dislodging Stiles’ hand. “My brain’s already offline. Why don’t you go get a drink and start the weekend early?”

“Ugh, but I just want to get this done,” Stiles said, and stared at his computer, willing R to just automatically glean what he wanted to do and put pretty graphs on his screen. “Finstock’s gonna kill me if I tell him that I’m still analyzing my data for the third week in a row.”

“Finstock’s out next week, remember? He’s going to that conference in England.”

Stiles…had completely forgotten.

“I love you, Isaac,” he said, patting Isaac’s curls even as Isaac snapped at his fingers like an overgrown puppy, and speedwalked out of the office, heading over to the shared cold room on the other side of the floor.

Technically, the cold room was only supposed to hold actual biological samples. Practically, however, it also held a stash of various beers and ciders and other drinks that was routinely restocked by the grad students and side-eyed by the undergrads. There was also a protocol in place for whenever Environmental Health and Safety decided to pop in for a surprise visit – the beer bottles would go in the drawers next to Isaac’s desk, the ciders in Stiles’ drawers, and the beer cans in Harley’s desk in the office she shared with Erica down the hall. So far, it had never failed them. The only time they’d gotten a warning from EHS was when someone (read: Isaac) had left a half-full can of beer on the very back of one of the shelves, which had started collecting some unknown mold, and no one had wanted to touch it so it had stayed there, growing more and more sentient with each passing day until EHS made them take it out. A pity, because Harley had been ready to take it away and figure out what species it actually was.

The point was, there were drinks in the cold room, and they were good. Perfect way to start off a Friday evening, or alternatively, drown your sorrows when your paper got rejected for the nth time. Not that Stiles was speaking from personal experience or anything!

Anyway, Stiles was really looking forward to trying some of the green apple cider Harley had brought earlier this week, and the thought propelled him forward to the cold room. He hummed tonelessly under his breath, ready to think about everything else other than his research for the night, but then he opened the door to the cold room, flipped on the lights, and froze in sheer horror.

The shelves which usually held the drinks were completely empty, except for two measly cans of PBR. There was absolutely no sign of any of the other drinks, not even the half-empty thing of boxed wine that had been sitting there for half a month and was probably undrinkable by now.

“What,” Stiles said, “the fuck.”

He took in the scene with narrowed eyes, and then turned on his heel and stomped out. It was time to investigate.

It being Friday evening, the hallways were fairly deserted, and Stiles was pretty sure the weedy undergrads he saw comparing notes on some exam or the other weren’t the culprits. For one, their backpacks were definitely not big enough to hide a whole bunch of cider in, let alone the beer.

He stalked past them, ignoring their wide eyes and furrowed brows, and slammed open the door to his office (then closed it gently because probably the undergrads should not be privy to this conversation).

“Isaac!” he snapped. “What the hell happened to the drinks?”

“The drinks in the cold room?” Isaac said, spinning around on his chair, making the perfect impression of the surprised Pikachu face. “I haven’t done anything to them. Are they not there?”

“No!” Stiles resolutely did not wail. “Everything’s gone, even that gross old boxed wine!”

Isaac switched from surprised Pikachu face to his favorite grimace. Stiles sighed, and reminded himself to finally print out that “No Emotional Journeys!” sign and pin it up on his desk.

“Okay, well, there’s two PBRs left but we all know PBR is the drink of the devil,” Stiles amended, and Isaac waggled his eyebrows at him.

“A drink’s a drink, dude,” he said. “We can figure out where the rest of the drinks went later, just go get yourself one before those disappear too.”

Stiles groaned and gave in, heading back to the cold room. The undergrads had migrated to right across the office door, but Stiles didn’t care if they’d been eavesdropping. This was a serious problem! Pesky undergrads could shove it until he had an awful, awful beer in his hand…awful beers that had also disappeared from the cold room in the few minutes he’d been gone.

He resisted the urge to rattle the shelves. He was an adult, he was a graduate student, he was not going to whine about a missing PBR of all things. He slunk out of the room, debating whether to go see if the mice labs two floors down had any drinks hidden away, or if it was wiser just to give up and go home.

Going down to the mice labs had mostly won out when Stiles spotted two figures that had just turned the corner and were walking down the hallway, away from him. He recognized Scott’s end-of-the-day rumpled hair immediately, and was ready to go complain to him when he also registered the can he was holding, hidden in a violently red koozie, but definitely the same size as the missing PBRs. Stiles didn’t recognize the other person with him, but they also had a koozie in their hand – two cans. He couldn’t believe it, but it must be true – Scott had taken the PBRs from the cold room. The outrage!

“Scott!” Stiles yelled. Scott turned around, classic goofy grin on his face, but it faded as he saw Stiles barreling down the hallway towards him.

“What—,” he managed to get out before Stiles ran into him and started tugging on his drink.

“Scott, how could you do this to me! I thought we were bros!” Stiles said, knowing he was coming off as very strange but at this point, he was too far gone to care. “You pillaged the last drink!”

Scott tugged his drink back but Stiles refused to let go, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Scott’s mysterious companion take a slow step back.

“And!” he said, letting the drink go abruptly in favor of using his hands to gesture at the Mysterious Companion, while still keeping his gaze on Scott’s startled face. “And you bring this random person in and give them a drink instead of saving it for me?? You’re flagrantly violating the rules of our friendship, man!”

Scott stumbled back a couple steps and then raised his hands. “Stiles, I think you’ve got the wrong idea, dude.”

“I’d like to see you explain your way out of this!” Stiles said, agitatedly bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“The hell, Stiles, you know I stopped drinking like a year ago! This is just a La Croix!”

“Oh,” Stiles said, pausing. “Oh, yeah. I did know that.”

“Yeah, oh. I think you need to explain to me what exactly is happening and why you’re freaking out.”

“Uh, so,” Stiles began, glancing around as he finally let his brain slow down a little. The undergrads from earlier were huddled in a corner, and he was sure he saw one of them rapidly typing away on his phone. Probably live-tweeting his breakdown, titled “saw my TA having a breakdown, just another day in college.”

“So?” Scott said.

“Okay, so Isaac made me go to the cold room for drinks but there were no drinks! Like none, Scott, everything was gone except for these two cans of PBR and I went back to check with Isaac if he knew what had happened, and he said he didn’t, but by the time I came back to get the PBRs they were gone anyway!” Stiles blurted out, hands moving everywhere to emphasize the dire straits he was in. “The entire stash is gone without a trace, Scott, it’s so bad!”

He took a breath and then added, “Also, what the hell, you’re drinking La Croix? At least get a Coke or something man, you know La Croix tastes like someone vaguely described fruit to an alien.”

Scott rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I know, but we got them at this vet school mixer thing we were at and free stuff is free stuff. But okay – I see why you’re so stressed, but don’t worry, we’re here, we’re going to solve this mystery!”

Stiles grinned as they both fistbumped. Scott always came through.

A polite cough interrupted them and Stiles whirled around, remembering the Mysterious Companion.

“Oh!” Scott said. “This is Derek! He’s a PhD student in like the history department, and he was at the mixer because he wanted to talk to some vets about canines but anyway—” Scott waved his hand in the air. “Long story. Point is, he’s cool! Derek, this is Stiles! You know how I study gut microbiota? Stiles’ advisor is actually my co-advisor, that’s how we became friends!”

Some tiny part of Stiles’ brain noted that Scott was grinning and still prattling on about how he and Stiles became best bros for life, but the rest of it was focused mostly on Mysterious Companion Derek, and his green eyes and glasses and dark hair and solid body and the hint of a smile on his face, and the shirt that made a stupid joke about Shakespeare and also made his arms look very nice. Then he had the abrupt realization that he had just massively embarrassed himself in front of this very beautiful man and his stomach turned itself into a pretzel.

“Okay very nice to meet you but I just remembered I have a thing. In lab. That I have to do like immediately. Sorry see you later!” Stiles said, turned on his heel, and zoomed down to his office, even as Scott called his name. He could feel the heat coming off his face. It was time to die in a ditch.

“It is time to die in a ditch,” he said as soon as he was securely in the office and safe from eavesdropping undergrads and grads. He had his face to the door in the hopes that it would cool him down, but when he got no response from Isaac, he turned around to face an empty office.

“Dammit,” he said, and saw the bright yellow post-it on Isaac’s old Dell. Erica says she’s going to get drinks from somewhere (don’t ask), see you in the lounge at 5:30!! it read, and Stiles sighed. At least he could now successfully drown his sorrows in a drink, even if it wasn’t the green apple cider he had been looking forward to.

At 5:35, he was in the lounge with a non-PBR beer in his hand, and retelling his extremely embarrassing experience to Isaac.

“In conclusion, it is time to die in a ditch,” he said, winding up his story. Isaac just laughed at him, stuck another beer in his hand, and then pushed him towards Erica and Harley who had probably overheard most of Stiles’ sorry story.

“They’re having another argument about what the best model organism is,” he said. “Why don’t you go join in, it’ll make you feel better.”

“You can’t tell me what to do,” Stiles mumbled, but his heart wasn’t in it. Damn Isaac for knowing him too well. The argument would make him feel better. He drained his beer and went to preach the awesomeness of Drosophila to the plebes who hadn’t seen the light yet.

Two beers later, Stiles was flushed red again, but for a much better reason this time.

“C’mon, Drosophila have such a large suite of genetic tools! Can you even get optogenetic strains in zebrafish? I bet you can’t, they’re just transparent little fish!” he said, waving his pile of peeled off beer labels and scattering the pieces everywhere.

“You don’t even use optogenetic strains!” Erica said, swinging her own bottle of beer around. “That’s an invalid argument!”

“I don’t now, but I might in the future! What if I want to do like, optogenetic strains of gut bacteria—” Stiles said, blatantly making up stuff, and then stopped as his hand smacked against a solid object and dropped even more bits of paper everywhere.

He looked up and gulped. The solid object was Derek’s chest, clad in that Shakespeare shirt, and attached to the rest of his body. Derek, who he’d been avoiding ever since he saw him enter the lounge with Scott (which by extension meant avoiding Scott too, but sacrifices had to be made). Derek, who had seen Stiles make an absolute fool of himself not even an hour ago, and who now had paper bits on his shoes.

“Sorry, uh, hi,” he said, trying his best not to sound like an idiot who had been ranting about zebrafish. He could feel the flush climbing up his cheeks, and not for the first time, cursed his unbelievably pale skin.

“No, I’m sorry – am I interrupting?” Derek said, sounding almost shy. He was holding onto the can of La Croix he was still nursing with a white-knuckled grip.

“Oh, you’re not at all,” Harley’s cheerful, conniving voice chimed in before Stiles could say anything. He turned to her with a betrayed look, in time to see her wink at him and grab Erica’s arm. “You and Erica are both wrong, by the way. Obviously the best model organism is C. elegans. Bow down to the worm, dude. Also, we have to go now, have fun!”

Stiles gaped as she and Erica walked away giggling, abandoning him in his time of need. He was about to chase after them with a half-assed excuse when Derek reached out and lightly touched his shoulder. It felt like a static shock to Stiles’ entire system, but in a good way, and he swung his gaze to Derek’s equally startled face.

“So,” Derek said. “We didn’t really get time to introduce ourselves or talk earlier…”

“Yeah, haha,” Stiles said automatically, manners kicking in. “I’m Stiles, but you already knew that.”

Derek smiled at him without rancor and Stiles’ heart legitimately skipped a beat. “And I’m Derek, but you knew that too. So…” he said again, and trailed off.

Stiles’ tongue felt like it was tied into a hundred knots and he desperately wanted to say something so charming that the conversation would start flowing immediately, or alternatively, a perfectly timed excuse to leave. He caught Scott’s eye over Derek’s shoulder and Scott, the traitor, immediately turned around and started talking to Isaac.

He was so caught up in wallowing in the callousness of everyone around him that he almost missed Derek saying, “…what’s a model organism, really?”

“Oh man,” he blurted out and resisted the urge to smack his mouth shut. “Do you really want to get into this right now?”

“Hit me,” Derek said, and his smile tilted up into a smirk. Stiles grinned back, feeling warmth kindle in his chest, and launched into his love for fruit flies.

One empty can of La Croix and another beer bottle later, they were still talking, the conversation flowing easier and in a much stranger direction than Stiles could have ever imagined.

“Okay, but vampires could totally be real, just think about it,” Derek was saying. “You’re a biologist, you know vampire bats are a thing, why not actual vampires?”

“…fair,” Stiles said. “Plus I guess the whole thing with people drinking other people’s blood to stay young. Humans are a strange species. But I still disagree with you on werewolves. No way could werewolves be a thing – where the hell would all the mass go? Wolves are freaking huge!”

Derek slashed his hand through the air in a dismissive gesture, but Stiles saw the smile twinkling in his eyes. “Just attribute it to the magic! You can buy into the shapeshifting concept but you draw a line at conservation of mass?”

“Shapeshifting is fine if you’re still the same mass afterwards, so humans could turn into like, I don’t know, a giant were-sun bear. I would be totally fine with that!”

Derek snorted, and then started chuckling outright. “Sorry I just – a giant were-sun bear? That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.”

The warmth in Stiles’ chest, that had been growing through the entire conversation, sparked up even more at the sound of Derek’s genuine laughter. He stared, grinning like an idiot, and as Derek’s laughter calmed down, they both just looked at each other, smiles in their eyes and on their mouths.

A careful cough finally tore their gazes away from each other. Scott gave them a sheepish look.

“I didn’t want to interrupt, but it’s almost 8,” he said, and Stiles’ eyes widened. He surreptitiously checked his phone and yup, Scott was right, it was a quarter to 8. He’d been talking to Derek for nearly two hours. “Maybe you guys should….go somewhere else?”

He grinned at Stiles, mischief in his eyes, and Stiles tried his best to not roll his eyes back. Scott was a bro but he was also not subtle.

“There’s this Thai restaurant I really like,” Derek said, reaching out to get Stiles’ attention back. The same jolt of energy ran through both of them at the contact, leaving Stiles mildly breathless again, and he looked up into Derek’s hopeful eyes. “We could continue this there?”

Stiles smiled, and said, “Hell yeah, dude. I still have to convert you to the fruit fly side, after all.”

Derek beamed. “Oh, I don’t doubt that. I still have to convert you to the werewolf side, too.”

Stiles laughed, and grabbed Derek’s hand impulsively, pulling him to the exit. Scott gave him a huge thumbs-up (that Derek definitely saw) but Stiles just smiled again, his chest warm and light, and let himself soak in the way Derek easily followed him.

#snazzysterek #stereksanta19 #*fics19 #*gifts19

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loudlytransparenttrash · 4 years

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This Week Within Our Colleges: Part 22

Students at George Mason University spent days protesting the hiring of Brett Kavanaugh as a visiting law professor at GMU’s Law School. Some students complained to campus leaders, telling them students’ mental health is threatened by the Kavanaugh hire, despite the Law School being located 3,500 miles away from the university. “This decision has really impacted me negatively. It is affecting my mental health knowing that an abuser will be part of our faculty.” Another female student gave similar comments to the board, “As someone who has survived sexual assault three times I do not feel comfortable with someone who has sexual assault allegations like walking on campus.” A third female student told the board, “we are fighting to eradicate sexual violence on this campus. But the hiring of Kavanaugh threatens the mental well being of all survivors on this campus.” The next day, students marched around campus chanting “kick Kavanaugh off campus” and holding “cancel Kavanaugh” signs while some stuck blue tape over their mouths.

University of Colorado Denver brought back a 2016 course, “Problematizing Whiteness: Educating for Racial Justice.” Students will learn “the plight of people of color and how white people are complicit.” The course details explains, “The study of whiteness has always sought to challenge racism, racial privilege, white supremacy, and colorblind racism. However, to overindulge in the spectacle of ‘white racial epiphanies’ overlooks the ongoing work whites must do to participate in racial justice. Beyond the feel-good of momentary White racial awareness lurk enormous concerns about how to continually examine Whiteness in order to uphold antiracism, moreover the fruition of a more racially just society.” It also, understandably, tells students that recording any of the lecture is forbidden.

A State University of New York College at Old Westbury professor wrote an article which he states it makes him happy when he sees poor white people on the street begging for food and often wonders how hard he should kick them in the head. “White people begging us for food feels like justice. It feels like Afro-Futurism after America falls. It feels like a Black Nationalist wet dream. It has the feels I rarely feel, a hunger for historical vengeance satisfied so well I rub my belly.” White people, he says, are a Rorschach test: “I see in them the history of colonization, slavery and mass incarceration that makes their begging Black people for money ironic - if not insulting. You wasted your whiteness! Why should we give to you?” The professor admits that this isn’t a “good look,” however, when he thinks about Martin Luther King Jr.’s “be thy best self” and “show compassion to those who spite you,” he retorts “go f**k another secretary Martin!”

A University of Utah student reported her business professor to campus administrators for assigning too many books written by male economists and philosophers. “Many of these figures are of great importance. But at what cost do we continue to plant the seed of sexism in the minds of individuals? But especially in a course and college that is already deemed to be a ‘boys club,’ continuing those teachings, and those teachings being delivered by a professor of his character is dangerous.” The student also took issue in her bias report about a joke the professor made about how, “while all our jobs will be taken by robots,” he will be “retired living in Tahiti surrounded by 40-45 beautiful women feeding him grapes.” The student complained, “Not only did the professor willingly and openly objectify women, but he also objectified women of color. Women of another culture.”

University of Texas at Austin freshmen were threatened to be doxed if they considered joining the Young Conservatives of Texas or Turning Point USA. “Hey #UT23! Do you wanna be famous? If you join YCT or Turning Point USA, you just might be. Your name and more could end up on an article like one of these,” the tweet said, linking to previous doxing posts of conservative students at the school. “So be sure to make smart choices at #UTOrientation.” They went on to encourage other students, “if you begin to spot the young racists trying to join YCT or TPUSA, send us a tip so we can keep our reports up to date.” The anarchist student network have already released extensive personal information of pro-Brett Kavanaugh demonstrators at UT Austin, including their names, photos and contact information. It went so far as to post some of the phone numbers of the employers of students and urged them to be fired.

Webster University offered its white faculty and staff a chance to “witness their whiteness” in a program that seeks to eliminate racism. According to the event description, Witnessing Whiteness is about “white people voluntarily coming together to do work around racism in a supportive, non-threatening setting.” It’s also about “learning to speak about race and racism, exploring white privilege, and practicing allying with sisters and brothers of color.” White attendees also were taught how to commit to positive change in their lives, workplace and region and understand and practice interrupting racism and developing skills to act as agents of change.

University of North Georgia hosted several "safe zone trainings" to make the school a “safer, more inclusive environment for members of the LGBTQ+ community.” Students were given handouts which featured a ‘gender unicorn’ cartoon and encouraged attendees to use “LGBTQ-Inclusive Language” by giving them a list of “Dos and Don'ts.” They asked students to not use words such as “mailman” and “ladies and gentlemen” or phrases such as “both genders” and “opposite sexes,” instead suggesting that they use “all genders.” Attendees were also shown a YouTube video from Franchesca Ramsey called “5 Tips For Being An Ally,” which instructed them to understand their privilege.

Middlebury College were forced to soothe upset and angry students after Polish conservative scholar and politician Ryszard Legutko was invited to speak on campus about totalitarian temptations within liberal democracies. Ironically, the school canceled the lecture just hours beforehand after some students complained, then later held a reflection meeting with the student protestors, where administrators told them, “I hear you, and you should be outraged, and we should acknowledge that and apologize, because that’s the least we can do right now, because we can’t make it right in the moment. But in the future we will do everything we can to make it right.” As the safe space meeting was going on, unbeknown to the protesters, a political science professor allowed Legutko to be ushered into his classroom and address students in secrecy.

At University of Texas at Austin, a pro-life speaker’s event was disrupted after someone set off a smoke bomb, triggering the building’s fire alarm and forcing attendees to be evacuated. The event went forward in another building.

A Canadian University of New Brunswick professor said he is in favor of taking a variety of actions against “white supremacists” who speak on campus, including publicly shaming them, firing them from their jobs and driving them from restaurants. What’s concerning about this is the professor’s definition of white supremacists. He said the "Make America Great Again" hats will carry the same shame as the uniforms worn by the Ku Klux Klan. “Every time I watch a documentary about the civil rights movement and all the hateful violence they faced, I wonder what the white people who were doing those horrible things were thinking... We are living in an era with Donald Trump and the Republican Party and the right-wing movement in America where things of similar gravity are happening. The entire sentiment of 'Make America Great Again' implies that there was a time when America was great and it's not any longer... America for Trump and his supporters is no longer great because black people have too many rights or there are too many women in the workplace."

A City University of New York professor was interviewed on radio where she stated the “ideology of racialized terrorism” is the responsibility of every white person in the United States. She criticized America for building "mental health hospital beds for white home-grown terrorists, but concentration camps and high-level security prisons for Black, and Black and Brown immigrants.” She goes on to wonder why we pay tribute every September 11 to “the pillars of American capitalism,” but never to “the young Black and Brown” victims. She also claims she's suffered in capitalist America after being designated a “other, non-white" on her arrival into the country and "white America has damned this democracy into the hands of white terrorists.”

A University of Arizona student live-streamed herself on Facebook harassing two Border Patrol agents who were giving a lecture to Criminal Justice students. The female student stood near the door of the room, zooming in on the officers repeatedly while calling them murderers and saying they were an extension of the KKK on campus. “They allow murderers to be on campus where I pay to be here. Murderers!” In the second part of the video, the student follows the Border Patrol agents to their vehicle, repeating the phrase “Murder Patrol!” and also yelling at them in Spanish. At the end of the video, she films a protest apparently against the appearance of the officers. The student also launched into a rant about the “white woman” who attempted to talk to her.

Gonzaga University’s Women and Gender Studies and Native American Studies departments hosted a screening and discussion about Disney’s film, Moana, titled, "Is Moana about rape?" According to the flyer, the professor behind the lesson discussed how Western patriarchy and masculinity attack “the feminine,” indigenous cultures, and the environment and nature. “Layne will ultimately also suggest that the film is Neocolonialist. It excuses Western culture from oppressing women, degrading the environment and erasing/murdering indigenous people,” the flyer says. It also came with a trigger warning, stating that racism, sexual assault, genocide and colonialism will be addressed.

Tufts University decided to remove a historical mural after students complained that the paintings depicting only white people eroded the school’s commitment to diversity and inclusion. The Alumnae Lounge mural, which depicts “the great names of men” of the school’s history, does not include “a single image of a person of color" which has lead students to complain that “they don’t want to receive awards in Alumnae Lounge because they feel excluded.” Tufts Senior Vice President said. “We want to attract a diversity of people to the university. But no less important, when they arrive, we want them to feel they belong here.” Tufts Africana Center Director applauded the decision, saying “the murals create an unwelcoming space for current students of color.”

Also at Gozaga University, an assistant professor wrote an op-ed where he blasted one of his white law students and accused him of deliberate “racial antagonism” because the student wore a MAGA hat to class. Without naming the student, the assistant professor wrote, “From my perspective as a black man living in the increasingly polarized political climate that is America, MAGA is an undeniable symbol of white supremacy and hatred toward certain nonwhite groups. I was unsure whether the student was directing a hateful message toward me or if he merely lacked decorum and was oblivious to how his hat might be interpreted by his black law professor. I presumed it was the former. As the student sat there directly in front of me, his shiny red MAGA hat was like a siren spewing derogatory racial obscenities at me for the duration of the one hour and fifteen-minute class. As my blood boiled inwardly, I jokingly told the student, ‘I like your hat.’ Without missing a beat, the student mockingly grinned from ear to ear and said, ‘Thank you.’” The professor concluded by arguing that “‘making America great again’ suggests a return to the days when women and people of color were denied access to these very institutions.”

A George Mason University assistant professor took to Twitter to ask white parents across America: “Why are you producing so many young white male terrorists?” “What is going on in your households? How involved are you with your sons? Are you missing signs their racism is filtering out of commonplace household racism into ‘I want to murder strangers’ racism?” She followed up with a reply to the white parents declaring their devotion to making sure their child isn’t a white terrorist, “I appreciate the testimonials of white parents doing the work of raising anti racist children. You give me a bit of hope.”

The University of Michigan revamped its already transgender-friendly student health plan to include more services on top of sex-change operations. The school already covers mastectomies, genital surgeries, hormone therapy and counseling for transgender students. These plans now also accommodate “facial feminization surgeries,” as well as facial hair removal and “Adam’s apple reduction.” Another addition is “fertility preservation” for transgender students whose transition efforts result in infertility.

A Massachusetts school superintendent told a community audience that white people in our “systematically corrupt system that oppresses black individuals” need to “rewire their brains” in order to overcome their biases. The Pittsfield Public Schools chief (who is white) also blasted Trump, blaming the president's “daily hate” for the rise in racism and hatred on a national level. The event was planned to announce the implementation of African American history courses in local high schools. The course will delve into African American oppression and plans on stopping the normalization of seeing “black people being beaten on TV.” A teacher who worked on the curricula design at the schools said her eyes had been opened after participating in implicit bias training and reading the book "Waking Up White."

Hofstra University students protested a statue of Thomas Jefferson at an annual event, titled “Jefferson Has Gotta Go!” which was co-organized by local Planned Parenthood staff. For the past few years, students have defaced the statue with “DECOLONIZE” and “Black Lives Matter” in an attempt to pressure the university president to join the long list of schools removing or covering up “traumatizing” statues and artwork. So far, the statue remains.

An academic conference in Toronto focused on “Critical Becky Studies,” with multiple professors and faculty from American universities participating. “This session aims to characterize ‘Becky,’ a term specific to white women who engage whiteness, often in gendered ways,” the session description states. “Explorations of Becky and implications of educational practice from a variety of perspectives and contexts will illuminate the dynamics of power, privilege, and oppression tied to the gendered and raced mechanisms of whiteness enacted by Becky,” says the session description. Another paper discussed in the panel was titled “Border Becky: Exploring White Women's Emotionality, Ignorance, and Investment in Whiteness.” According to the description, the paper focuses on white women who must undergo a battle in order to extract themselves “from the white supremacist alliance.”

At University of South Dakota, a planned ‘Hawaiian Day’ themed event had to be changed to ‘Beach Day,’ due to a cultural appropriation complaint from a single student. The student group planning the party were told to make the name change and to ban handing out leis as it violates the school's policy on inclusiveness. The group posted, “It was determined that these (leis) are culturally insensitive by the administration after doing research based off of the essay written by the initial complainant.”

Williams College student activists demanded the Board of Trustees "commit to a complete process of reparation and reconciliation to indigenous peoples." The open letter states, “Many junior faculty of color are considering medical leave due to the unmitigating stress of living in an unsupportive and callous environment and to avoid the emotional detriment of existing here.” The students then demanded a “complete process of reparation and reconciliation” to the indigenous peoples, “approve a request of $34,000 as well as the increase of $15,000 additional funding for incoming Minority Coalition groups.” ”Offer free weekend shuttles for faculty and staff" and provide separate housing for black and queer students, as well as for all other marginalized groups. Lastly, “hire more therapists, especially trans and racial minority therapists.”

Dominican University in California has added a new major, wholly focused on social justice. The school created the major after a “growing number” of students became interested in social justice “careers,” according to the university news release. Students who major in social justice will have the chance to “examine the links between well-being, social justice, and diverse worldviews.” Additionally, students will “analyze social injustices and work toward positive social change.”

The State University of New York-Plattsburgh offered students the chance to de-stress with therapy donkeys during their Wellness Fair.

#college

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inyournightmares97 · 5 years

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Unsolicited (2/3) (M)

Jackson Wang is a perfect gentleman and he thinks it’s extremely vital that you understand… that is not his penis.

Warnings: Fluff. Crack? Adult topics, mentions of sexual harassment (but not too serious) and plenty of swearing. College!au. Please don’t ask when I’ll update. There are three parts and the next one will come when it’s ready.

Find the link to Part 1 in the reblog!

Word Count: 6.5k+

Environment Club meetings were on Fridays at 5pm. You were surprised that any sort of club activity would be scheduled on a Friday evening considering the university’s rampant party culture. Then again, the sort of students that joined the Environment Club probably didn’t have much going for them on weekend nights.

You entered the club room exactly five minutes before the meeting was due to start. A handsome and bespectacled man was standing at the front; dressed in a smart button-down and slacks.

“Hi, is this the Environment Club?” you asked him carefully.

The man blinked at you through his glasses and gave you a tight but reassuring smile. “That’s correct,” he replied. He glanced at the form in your hand before his smile widened. “Ah, the new recruit? Sorry, I almost forgot. I’m Park Jinyoung. President of the club.”

“Oh!” You shook his hand politely. “Nice to meet you.”

“Why don’t you hand me the form and take a seat? I’ll find a senior member to show you the ropes before the meeting’s over. You can just watch how we do things for today, we’re about to start.”

You nodded and hurried to find an empty desk, trying not to feel too flustered by Park Jinyoung’s handsomeness. You hadn’t expected to come across such an attractive man in a place like this. You found a seat in the corner and awkwardly glanced at the people around you. There were at least 20 people in the room but no familiar faces.

At least, not until a large man plopped down into the empty chair beside yours and gave you a dazzling smile.

“Well, well. So we meet again. Following me around to make sure I don’t send anyone more pictures of my junk?” Jackson Wang asked you cheerfully.

You stared at him in disbelief.

“You’re in the Environment Club?” you demanded.

“I’m a founding member, actually,” Jackson informed you with a charming smile. You couldn’t help but notice that unlike Park Jinyoung, Jackson was dressed comfortably in shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt. He evidently knew how excellent his tanned arms and shoulders looked in them.

And his thighs.

Fuck, don’t be creepy and stare at his thighs.

“Interesting,” you mumbled. You tried to keep your gaze focused towards the front of the room. You were terrified that you might end up looking at Jackson’s thighs and the significantly-sized bulge in his shorts. Not that his charming smile was any less dangerous. Jackson Wang was setting off alarm bells in your mind every second.

“We were going to be a health and organics club until Jinyoung got his way,” Jackson explained to you. He lowered his voice and scooted closer to you to continue speaking; Jinyoung was calling for everyone to take their seats and quieten down. “He’s a hard worker but he always needs things to go according to his plans.”

You stiffened at Jackson’s closeness and the smell of his deodorant. “Huh.”

“Jinyoung’s a bit of a dick, to be honest.”

“And you’re not?”

“I’m an easy-going guy,” he replied smugly. Jackson’s tongue flickered out and slowly licked his lips as his dark eyes settled on yours. His words sent a shiver down your spine. “Unless you need me to get hard then I can get pretty hard.”

You were saved from having to reply by the room falling silent and Jinyoung starting the meeting. He stood at the desk in the front with a binder. “All right everyone! Let’s get this meeting going so that we can all get out of here soon and enjoy our Friday night. We have a new member joining us today; does everyone want to say hi to her?”

Everyone turned to look at you and you forced a friendly smile as people waved. Somebody at the back of the room suddenly piped up.

“Hey! Aren’t you that chick who punched a guy at the protests last year?” one voice asked. Your stomach twisted in disappointment.

Oh god. Is that all people think of when they see me?

You opened your mouth to respond rudely but you were cut off by Jackson laughing and turning to face the guy. “Hey, we need that kind of passion when it comes to the environment. Maybe if we’d been willing to throw a couple of punches ourselves then the park officials wouldn’t have been able to shut down our clean-up drive last year.”

There were a few chuckles around the room and you allowed yourself to relax. Jackson’s eyes twinkled when he turned back to you; you realized that he had done it on purpose and you felt relieved. The last thing you needed was for people to hate you on your first day at the new club. Luckily everyone was still giving you friendly smiles.

Jinyoung sighed. “Okay, cut that out. We need an older member to be her mentor for the first few weeks. Since you seem to like her so much, Jackson, why don’t you take the responsibility?”

Jackson shot you a cheerful grin. “Sounds like a blast.”

“Now, onto our main agenda for today. Everyone is aware of the ongoing problem with the beach volleyball team. Our beach clean-up drive is scheduled for Sunday and they refuse to let us have the beach area. The volleyball court is one of the most polluted and littered parts of the beach. Not only are the team members not cleaning up after themselves, they’re opposing our clean-up drive since it interferes with their morning practice sessions. Obviously, we can’t just let them have their way.”

One girl raised her hand. “I’ve literally seen them littering plastic food wrappers during their practice sessions. Some of the plastic drifts off into the ocean when the tide comes in.”

“It’s disgusting behaviour.”

“We need to do something so they don’t interfere with our clean-up drive.”

“Agreed. Does anyone have any ideas on how to deal with them?” Jinyoung asked hopefully. You glanced around and saw that the room had fallen silent. Only Jackson’s arm had shot up in the air. Jinyoung looked disappointed. “Anybody other than Jackson Wang? No?”

Jackson pouted. “Hey! You haven’t even heard my idea yet, Jinyoung!”

“Fine. Tell us your idea.”

“Get this. We challenge them... to a duel,” Jackson announced dramatically.

The entire room stared at him in disbelief and Jinyoung looked as though he might murder him. Jackson hurried to defend himself. “Okay, hear me out! The beach volleyball team runs on pride. Those guys have a shit ton of pride because they’re one of the best volleyball teams in the state. They would never turn down a challenge. So we lay down terms. If we win, they let us conduct our clean-up drive in peace and stop littering. If they win we cancel our drive.”

Jinyoung frowned. “A duel? Like with swords in medieval times?”

“Come on, obviously something more modern. We could nominate champions from either side and have a wrestling match on the beach! What do you say?”

“I say the only one of us who stands a chance wrestling anybody from the beach volleyball team is you, Jackson.”

Jackson smirked. “It’s settled then. I volunteer to be our champion.”

“No, it’s not settled.” Jinyoung sounded annoyed. “We haven’t made a decision yet. Ideally, the entire club should be allowed to take a vote on this since you’re staking the future of our clean-up drive. Once the club agrees that your stupid idea is worth trying then we’ll decide who our champion is.”

Jackson cleared his throat. “It might be too late for that.”

“Excuse me?”

“I might have already tweeted this idea to the volleyball team and they might have already accepted the challenge?” Jackson began hesitantly. Your eyes widened as you stared at him in disbelief. Everyone in the room let out a collective groan.

Jinyoung looked furious.

“Jackson!”

Jackson beamed. “Don’t worry! I’ll make sure we emerge victorious, I promise! Have you ever seen a man that could beat me in a wrestle? I’m a state-level basketball player and a fencing champion, okay? Those volleyball nerds are a joke in front of my athletic prowess.”

Jinyoung snapped his binder shut.

“Fine. This is on you, Wang. You are fully responsible for making sure our clean-up drive takes place this Sunday.”

Jackson leaned back in his seat and let out a confident laugh. “Don’t worry, I know.”

“Then let’s move on to the next item on our agenda. We have to take a vote on what to do with the funds left over from last semester’s fundraiser. We could pay for the installation of new segregated garbage bins or we could carry it forward to the next clean-up drive. Assuming, of course, that Jackson doesn’t botch that one up for us as well…”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Waking up at 6 am on a Saturday morning to witness a duel had been the last thing you’d expected your duties as a member of the Environment Club would require.

Yet somehow you found yourself trudging towards the beach while the early rays of morning sunlight filled you with warmth. You had settled on a comfortable t-shirt and shorts and rode your bike down to the beach. The beach volleyball team was already practicing in their usual area. Jackson was standing a short distance away and watching them practice. He waved excitedly as soon as he saw you.

“Hey! Over here, over here!”

You couldn’t exactly ignore his enthusiastic waving so you crossed the sand to reach him. Jackson seemed wide awake and had his usual cheerful smile on his face. “Wow, you look like someone dragged you out of bed. Not much of a morning person?” he questioned.

You frowned. “I don’t usually come to the beach at 6am on Saturdays, no.”

“Lighten up! Today’s gonna be a blast.”

“Unless you lose.”

Jackson folded his arms across his chest confidently and grinned. “I won’t lose.”

“Are you really that sure?”

He leaned closer and lowered his voice. Jackson’s handsome face was inches away from your own and you had to swallow in order to maintain composure and not flush red. His cheeky grin had turned mischievous.

“I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. I’ve already got this all worked out. My buddy Jooheon is on the volleyball team and I paid him fifty bucks to lose the match with me.”

You stared at him. “This duel is rigged?”

Jackson looked offended. “Hey. When you put it like that then you make me sound like the bad guy. I’m doing this for the fishies, remember? I have noble motives.”

“The fishies,” you repeated in disbelief. Jackson Wang never failed to leave you bewildered at every turn.

“Yeah. Jooheon couldn’t convince the rest of his team to agree to the clean-up drive so we decided to stage this little duel and force them to cooperate,” Jackson explained. He looked smug. “What do you think? Not a bad plan, huh?”

You didn’t know what to say. It seemed like a slightly underhanded thing to do; but then again the beach volleyball team were the ones refusing to cooperate with the clean-up drive so maybe they were the real assholes in this situation. You shrugged and glanced over towards the group of men playing volleyball.

“So which one is Jooheon?” you asked.

Jackson followed your gaze. “Oh he’s… huh. Hold on. I don’t see him here today.”

“The guy you paid off isn’t even here?”

Jackson’s smile disappeared and he suddenly dug into his pocket for his cellphone. He lifted the phone to his ear and walked away from you. You stared after him, confused, but you were distracted by the appearance of Jinyoung and a few other members of the Environment Club. They were making their way towards you over the sand.

“... if Jackson messes this up, I’m going to kill him,” Jinyoung was saying to another man. He lifted a hand and waved at you. “Oh hey. You’re here early; I like your enthusiasm, new girl. This shit had better end soon because I haven’t even had breakfast yet.”

You forced a smile and greeted the other club members politely. “Hey.”

A large group of people gathered within a few minutes and the volleyball team also seemed to have noticed that they had company. They paused their practice and a couple of the volleyball players sauntered over towards you with smirks on their faces.

“Well, well, well,” one of them began with a smirk. “If it isn’t the Environment Club.”

Jinyoung folded his arms across his chest and stared the other man down. “I’d say it’s nice to see you, Minhyuk, except it really isn’t. Especially not this early in the morning on a Saturday,” he said, his tone acidic. You had to admit that Park Jinyoung’s gaze was intimidating.

Minhyuk did not look scared. He simply continued to smirk.

“I’m surprised you guys showed up at all.”

“Yeah, well we actually have some purpose behind our club, we’re not just throwing balls around for the heck of it,” Jinyoung retorted.

“Nobody cares for your moral superiority, Park. This is our part of the beach and the university gives the volleyball team exclusive permission to decide who can use it and who can’t. If you want to come pick up our trash then you’re gonna have to fight for it.”

Jinyoung chuckled. “We’re ready. Who’s your champion?”

Minhyuk turned back and yelled out a name. “Wonho, come out here!”

You watched in horror as one of the volleyball players stepped forward; he was huge. This man’s arms were thicker than most people’s entire bodies. Wonho’s shoulders took up more space than three ordinary people lined up. Even Jinyoung looked horrified and you could see the other Environment Club members murmuring among themselves in panic.

“What? Scared?” Minhyuk asked smugly. “Worried that Wonho will put your champion in the hospital?”

Jinyoung cleared his throat. “Uh, no. Our guy can handle him.”

“You sure?”

“Evidently you’ve never seen Jackson Wang fight.”

Minhyuk raised an eyebrow. “I’ve never seen Jackson Wang at all. Where is he?”

“He’s… coming,” Jinyoung trailed off. You looked around and saw that Jackson had disappeared from the beach completely. Did he just run away? Holy fuck. You signalled to Jinyoung that you would go find him and Jinyoung nodded gratefully before turning back to Minhyuk. “He’ll be here soon. You guys finish up your practice and we’ll meet back here in half an hour.”

Minhyuk scoffed. “Yeah. If your guy hasn’t chickened out by then.”

“Trust me. Nothing scares Jackson Wang. You better save your trashy pride, so that we can help you clean it up along with the rest of the garbage you guys have spread all over the beach.”

“We’ll see, Park. We’ll see.”

--------------------------------------

Jackson Wang was hiding behind the closed ice cream stalls.

You found him squatting on the floor behind the stall. He hadn’t been answering his phone for the past ten minutes and a furious Jinyoung had sent out a search party to find him. You were the one who finally came across him in this deserted part of the beach. Jackson blinked up at you with large eyes, looking like a puppy that had been kicked out of it’s home.

“Well, hello there,” you greeted Jackson calmly. You folded your arms and looked down at his sheepish figure. “Looking for chocolate ice cream at half past six in the morning?”

Jackson sighed miserably. “Sure, let’s go with that.”

“Let me guess what happened. This Jooheon guy stood you up?”

Jackson groaned and buried his face in his hands. “He took my money and ran. I’m going to die today. Have you seen Wonho? That guy spends more time in the gym than he does sleeping. He’s ripped. And he’s going to rip me to shreds, I’m going to die and my mother is going to be left all alone in this world because her only son got herself killed. Will you break it to her gently?”

You couldn’t help but snicker. “You got yourself into this mess.”

Jackson frowned. “Thank you for the support.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just kind of funny how confident you were earlier,” you admitted as you crouched down beside him. Jackson buried his face in his knees and you gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “You know that you have to go out there and fight somehow, right? Because if you don’t die in Wonho’s hands then I’m pretty sure Jinyoung will kill you.”

Jackson pouted. “God, I hate Jinyoung.”

“This is your fault, not his.”

“You know what would be really cool? If you could help me find a way out of this predicament instead of pointing out how I brought it upon myself,” Jackson whined. He looked at you pathetically and you felt a little bad for him. You certainly wouldn’t have wanted to fight Wonho and poor Jackson had only wanted to help with the clean-up drive.

You gave him an encouraging smile.

“You should just go out there and give wrestling Wonho a shot. I think you can do it,” you told him softly.

Jackson stared at you. “Wow.”

“What?”

“I’ve never seen you smile, you have such a beautiful smile,” Jackson told you with a sudden, dreamy grin. You flushed at the unexpected compliment and he leaned closer to nudge your shoulder with his. “It makes me want to make you smile more. What sort of things make you smile?”

You turned pink in embarrassment and cleared your throat. “Don’t you already have one impossible challenge in front of you?”

“Yeah but seeing you smile is making me feel better. I think if you gave me one more of those pretty smiles then I could totally go out there and beat Wonho up for you,” Jackson told you confidently. His dark eyes were twinkling as they stared at you. You squirmed. Nobody had ever looked you in the eyes and flirted with you as shamelessly as Jackson Wang. At least not without coming off as really sleazy.

But Jackson wasn’t sleazy.

He was…

kind of sweet?

You took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Okay. The fate of the beach was resting on this one man’s morale so the least you could do was give Jackson what he wanted and encourage him to go out there and try his best. You turned to him and gave him a warm smile.

“I think you can do this, Jackson. Just because Wonho has big muscles doesn’t mean that he’ll beat you in a wrestling match. You can probably throw him with strategy alone. All you need to do is go for his legs and keep him pinned down for a couple of seconds. How difficult can that be?”

Jackson bit his lip. “Yeah? You think so?”

“Absolutely. Come on, Wang. Do it for the fishies.”

He grinned. “Yeah, the fishies really do need saving, don’t they? Okay. I can do this. I can fight Wonho. It’s for a good cause and what’s the worst that could happen? I lose? Big deal. We’ll just admit defeat and hold a clean-up drive some other weekend.”

“That’s the spirit!”

“And let’s be honest. If I do get myself beat up then Jinyoung will probably feel too bad for me to kill me. And if I win, then he’ll have to admit I was right!” Jackson piped up.

“Good point! Besides, imagine how cool it’ll be if you win. You’ll be the guy who beat Wonho. Everybody is going to think you’re so amazing. You’ll be the talk of the university. You’ll be the guy who was willing to sacrifice himself for a noble cause. Are you going to give up this opportunity for glory?” you egged him on.

Jackson grinned. “Yeah, people will think I’m pretty cool.”

“They will.”

“Will you think I’m cool?” he asked.

You sighed and stood up, placing your hands on your hips. Jackson was looking up at you and his big eyes were extremely hopeful. God, he’s adorable. Why is he so cute? You’d thought that Jackson was just an extremely cocky asshole but the softer and childlike side of him was too sweet.

“I’ll think you’re really cool,” you whispered reassuringly.

“You know what would be dope? If you gave me a lady’s favour, like those handkerchiefs noblewomen would give medieval knights to show that they were rooting for them?” Jackson piped up eagerly. “And in the period dramas they go all please come back alive so that you can return this to me, oh noble knight, wow, I’ve always thought that was so cool.”

You blinked at Jackson. “You want a favour?”

“Yes, please.”

“But I don’t have anything on me except my phone and keys.”

Jackson pouted. “Oh, okay.”

You sighed and placed your hands on your hips for a moment, contemplating whether this was a good idea. Then again, maybe this wouldn’t be the worst decision you’d ever made in your life. You bent down to Jackson’s level and then beckoned him to come closer to you. What did you have to lose?

Jackson leaned forward hopefully.

You kissed his cheek quickly; it was over before you even felt his skin under his lips but he smelled heavenly and for some reason even that small scrape of his stubble and smooth skin against yours made you blush. You pulled away and looked at Jackson. His puppy-like eyes were wide in shock and you cleared your throat awkwardly.

“There. I’ve given you my favour. Now go fight.”

Jackson’s entire face lit up and he suddenly looked extremely enthusiastic. He leapt to his feet and beamed at you, wrapping you into a sudden tight hug. “You’re right. I can do this! I’m Jackson fucking Wang!” he declared.

You nodded, unable to speak because your face was pressed against his shoulder and he smelled really nice, of fresh soap and some masculine deodorant. Before you could pull away, though, Jackson released you himself. He looked down at you with a big grin and patted the top of your head fondly.

“You’re really adorable, you know that?” he demanded.

You flushed. “I’ve been told.”

“I’m gonna go wrestle with Wonho. Don’t forget to take a video of the fight so I can show everyone later, okay? Today is going to be the best day of my life!” Jackson sang happily before running off and leaving you behind. You stared after him in disbelief. You’d wanted to encourage him but you hadn’t expected him to do a complete 180 on you. Jackson Wang was just filled with surprises.

You sighed and slowly began your long walk back to the beach. Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted a vending machine. A large man was standing in front of it struggling to make the machine release a can of coke.

Wonho. You narrowed your eyes at him and as he banged the vending machine with a terrifying amount of force, you spotted a pink wristband on his arm.

Interesting.

You walked up to Wonho and gave him a polite smile.

“Hi. Do you need some help with that?”

---------------------------------

Jinyoung gave Jackson a dirty look.

“You traitor. Did you think you could just run away like that?” he hissed at him furiously. He wrapped an arm around Jackson and his fingers dug into the man’s shoulder dangerously. “If you ever pull anything like that again, I will kill you.”

Jackson laughed and slipped out of Jinyoung’s grasp. “Oh, come on. What are you all worked up about? I just needed a few minutes alone to prep myself for the fight, that’s all.”

“Yeah? You didn’t chicken out after seeing Wonho?”

Jackson puffed his chest out confidently. “What? Of course not. I’m Jackson Wang.”

The volleyball team wrapped up their practice and gathered around. A large circle was drawn in the sand for the two wrestlers to compete and all the spectators stood around it. Jackson was standing beside you and he suddenly reached for your hand and squeezed it. “Hey. Now is a good time to start filming,” he mumbled. You blinked and pulled out your cell phone just as Jackson stepped into the makeshift ring.

“All right, fuckers. You have thrown your last bit of plastic into this ocean. This ends today,” Jackson announced loudly. You watched through the screen of your phone as Jackson reached down and pulled his shirt off in one swift move. His muscles rippled under his smooth, tanned skin and you suddenly felt light-headed. He tossed the shirt aside and the flimsy cloth landed at your feet.

Jackson Wang is an idiot but fuck me, he’s hot.

The Environment Club members started up a cheer and you tried to join in while keeping the phone camera steady. “Jackson! Jackson! Jackson!”

Wonho stepped into the circle as well. He didn’t make such a big show of taking his shirt off but he did flex one of his enormous arms and send the entire volleyball team into uproarious cheers. Once the two men were staring each other down, Minhyuk stepped into the middle and lifted an arm.

“Okay, folks. We’re not pro-wrestlers so let’s keep the rules simple. First one to pin the other down onto their back and keep them down for five whole seconds wins. You have to stay inside the lines and no hitting the face, head or groin. We all want to have kids someday. Is that clear?

Jackson nodded. “Clear.”

Wonho bopped his head as well. “Yup, got it.”

“All right then! Let the match-begin!”

You were shocked by the ferocity with which Jackson boldly leapt at Wonho. Even Wonho seemed startled; he staggered back on his feet for a few seconds before finding a grip on Jackson’s shoulders and pushing him back. The two of them struggled to push each other back. You could see Jackson’s face turning pink and the muscles in his back tightening as he fought to stay standing under Wonho’s pressure.

“Fuck, he’s going to die,” Jinyoung whispered from beside you. You held the camera steady and glanced to the side to see that the club president actually looked worried. “Should we call this off? Should I tell him to come back?”

You smiled. “He’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I am. This match is totally rigged.”

Jinyoung stared at you in shock just as the match slowly began to turn. Wonho began to loosen his grip and Jackson actually managed to push him a few steps back. Now, Jackson. Go. Lunge for his legs. As if he could read you mind, Jackson suddenly released his grip on Wonho’s upper body and lunged down to yank one of his legs up. Wonho went tumbling to the ground and Jackson instantly sat on top of him, pressing him down.

“Yes! Jackson! Jackson! Jackson!” the Environment Club members cheered.

Minhyuk looked heartbroken as he slowly lifted his fingers to count the seconds. “1...2…3...4….5.”

Jackson beamed and climbed off Wonho with a delighted roar of victory. A couple of the Environment Club members ran to hug him, but Jackson instead reached down to help Wonho to his feet and gave his opponent a delighted bear hug. Wonho looked flustered but Jackson simply pulled back.

“Awesome match, man. Those are some amazing pecs. What gym do you go to?” Jackson demanded with a huge smile. You were shocked to see him chatting with his opponent so casually. Didn’t they just have an intense fight?

Wonho blinked. “Uh, the one over by the supermarket…”

“Dude, you have to introduce me to your trainer sometime. I’m gonna call you.”

“Uh, sure. Sure thing.”

Jackson grinned and lifted his arms in victory. Minhyuk was the only one who looked severely disappointed and he was about to slouch away from the scene silently until Jackson grabbed his arm and yanked him to the middle. “Hey! Don’t look so miserable, bud! Come on everyone! Let’s all go get breakfast together, coffee is on me!”

You couldn’t help but smile as you lowered the camera.

Jackson Wang is really something.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You had just grabbed a muffin and were about to sit at a table with the rest of the Environment Club members when Jackson wrapped an arm around your shoulder cheekily.

“So,” he began, steering you towards an empty table a little further away instead. His bare arm on your skin made you flush and he leaned close to you. “That was an interesting result to the match. Do you have any thoughts on why Wonho let me win?”

You flushed. “Why do you assume he let you win?”

“Maybe because he just came over and wished me good luck for my chemotherapy. I didn’t know I was starting chemotherapy. Did you know I was starting chemotherapy?” Jackson wondered cheekily. The shit-eating grin on his face told you that he’d already figured everything out so you simply rolled your eyes and flopped down onto an empty chair.

“Fine, I rigged your match. Happy?”

Jackson sat beside you and rested his elbow on the table, chin in his hand as he smiled at you.

“Tell me more.”

“I spotted Wonho wearing one of those pink bracelets that breast cancer awareness supporters wear. I figured if he was supporting a cause like that then chances were high that he was a really soft-hearted person so I made small talk with him and slipped in that you had just been diagnosed with breast cancer.”

Jackson blinked. “Can men even get breast cancer?”

You look at the outline of Jackson’s impressive pectoral muscles through his sleeveless t-shirt and raised an eyebrow. “I think there’s enough room in there for some cancer cells if they wanted to set up shop. Anyway, Wonho got super emotional because apparently his grandmother had died of breast cancer. I didn’t even have to ask him to throw the match. He said himself that you deserved some happiness before you started chemo.”

Jackson pouted. “Wow. This really kills the victory for me.”

“You got yourself into the whole mess. Wonho would have beaten you to a pulp if I hadn’t stepped in and done that,” you pointed out with a frown.

“Yeah,” Jackson had a mischievous grin on his face as he chuckled. “Little miss SHRC actually lied for me. I feel so special. I thought you were the goody-two-shoes self-righteous type. And yet you lied about me having cancer, tsk tsk. Were you that worried about my safety?”

You flushed. “I didn’t do it for you.”

“Oh?”

“Nope, I did it for the fishies. Remember?”

Jackson chuckled. “The fishies. Right. And I’m sure you also-”

He was cut off by a hesitant figure approaching your table. The man’s shoulders were slumped miserably as he lowered his head and glanced at Jackson. “Jackson, man… I am so sorry about today, I really and truly am….”

Jackson glanced at the man and grinned. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t Jooheon.”

Jooheon looked miserable. “I didn’t mean to bail on you, I swear, but Minhyuk-hyung figured out our arrangement and he made me stay home today so that they could send Wonho as the champion to beat you. I promise I didn’t want to leave in you in the lurch or anything but I had no choice and-”

Jackson grinned and patted the man on the back lightly. “Yeah, yeah, it’s all forgotten. Go get yourself a coffee and sit down with us. You can buy it yourself, using the fifty bucks you cheated me out of, eh?” he joked.

Jooheon smiled. “Really? Thanks, man.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Jooheon hurried off to the counter to order a coffee for himself. You raised an eyebrow at Jackson. “That’s it?” you wondered. “The guy left you to get beat up by our university's Thor without so much as a heads up and you’re not even gonna take five minutes to get mad at him?”

Jackson blinked. “Why would I get mad at him? He’s my friend.”

“Yeah, but he ditched you.”

“I know, but holding grudges never helped anyone. I have a simple policy. Forgive… but never forget.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I’m not gonna waste my time getting mad at Jooheon but I also kept a mental note of the seventeen times he’s ditched me since we first met a year and a half ago, and that information is always at my immediate disposal,” Jackson told you with a grin. He poked your shoulder lightly. “Anyway. I wonder if it’s time for me to return your favour to you.”

“My favour?”

“Yeah, the little kiss you entrusted me with before the duel?” Jackson reminded you playfully. Your face flushed red as you remembered your bold move and Jackson’s smile became a little more serious. His dark eyes pierced into yours as he reached out and placed his warm hand over yours. “I’m gonna be honest. I’m really attracted to you. I love how you don’t seem to take any bullshit but at the same time your smile is just fucking adorable. I really want to buy you dinner and get to know you and see if I can make you smile.”

You swallowed. Oh fuck. Oh fuck, oh fuck, why was Jackson Wang looking at you like that and shamelessly telling you he was attracted to you making you so flustered? You’d heard people say you should smile more a million times but never had anybody told you that they wanted to make you smile. The softness of Jackson’s brown eyes was killing you.

“Uh….”

“Can we go out on a date sometime?”

You cleared your throat. “I… I would, but it’s just… um…”

Jackson blinked. “Is there a problem?”

“I kind of have a picture of your penis in my inbox, remember?” you mumbled.

Jackson’s smile fell and he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly after he removed his hand from yours. “Ahh. Right. I forgot. You still think I sent that girl pictures of my dick.”

You hesitated. “She claims you did.”

Jackson sighed and looked upset. “Wow. I wish there was some way I could prove this to you but that really isn’t my dick and I’ve never sent any girl messages like that. You say you’re not even allowed to tell me who she is. How am I supposed to prove that it wasn’t me?”

“I… I don’t know, Jackson.”

“Right.”

“I’m sorry. But I’m supposed to take the victim’s side unless I have solid proof that they’re lying…”

Jackson frowned. “Yeah, no, I get that. You’re just doing your job. It’s up to me to prove that I didn’t do any of it.” He glanced up at you and gave you a sudden, enthusiastic smile. “You know what? I can do this. I’m Jackson fucking Wang. I’m gonna prove to you that that is not my penis and I’m gonna clear my name.”

You bit back a smile. “Okay.”

“And you are going to be so charmed by my sincerity that you’ll go on that date with me.”

“Okay,” you giggled.

“Get ready to be hit by the full force of Jackson Wang, expert sleuth!”

---------------------------------------------

When you got home Bambam and Yugyeom were sitting on your couch. You wished they would both just go and get girlfriends so that they weren’t constantly burning holes into your furniture, but perhaps that was too much to hope for considering their combined idiocy.

“Where were you?’ Bambam whined as soon as you entered the apartment. “You’re out of coffee.”

“This isn’t a coffee shop.”

“I know, but shouldn’t you keep the bare minimum available for when you entertain guests?” he complained. You noticed that he and Yugyeom already had a giant-sized bag of cheese puffs open on the sofa in between them. You dreaded the amount of sticky orange powder you’d have to clean off your couch cushions later. “Honestly, you have no manners.”

You ignored him and flopped into the armchair. “Do you guys want to come to the beach clean-up tomorrow morning?” you asked, pulling out one of the flyers that Jinyoung had given you earlier. “We’re gonna go pick up trash from the beach and the club is always open to volunteers.”

Bambam winced. “Yuck, no.”

“They usually hand out free beers afterwards.”

Yugyeom reached over and swiped the flyer from your hands. “Give me that. I’ll be there. Bambam might not because he has to go to the basketball court and wait for that chick to walk past on her way to the library like a loser.”

“You haven’t seen her since then?” you wondered.

Yugyeom snickered. “Oh he’s seen her. Plenty of times. He just keeps chickening out so he won’t go talk to her.”

You stared at Bambam. “Wow. Since when have you been afraid to ask girls out, Mr. playboy? I thought you were the most confident one out of all of us. You can’t even approach this girl and ask for her number?”

Bambam flushed and folded his arms across his chest with a pout. “Hey. You haven’t seen her so don’t talk. At least I can actually get girls interested in me and don’t have to wait until victims of sexual harassment come and show me unsolicited dick pics to even see the opposite sex’s genitalia, okay? You don’t get to talk.”

You cleared your throat. “Actually, uh… Jackson Wang asked me out today.”

There was a shocked silence. Yugyeom and Bambam both stared at you with wide eyes. The bag of cheese puffs fell off the couch and landed on the floor so you let out a groan. You reached out to pick it up. “Guys, not on my carpet…”

Bambam grabbed your arm. “Jackson Wang asked you out? Bitch, don’t lie to me.”

You frowned. “I’m not lying.”

“Please don’t tell me you turned him down, I feel like your stupid ass turned him down.”

“I have a picture of his penis in my email inbox, Bambam, I can’t exactly date him until I know whether or not he sent it to Nari,” you pointed out. Bambam looked distraught and even Yugyeom slapped his own forehead. You pouted while the two boys stared at you as though you were a complete buffoon. It felt odd to be on the other side of that stare.

Yugyeom sighed at you. “Jackson Wang is the most amazing guy ever.”

“Yeah. He’s awesome. He’s nice and chill and everybody loves him because he’s such a cool guy. Not to mention how insanely hot he is. He’s so fucking awesome that even straight dudes can’t hate him.” Bambam grabbed your face and forced you to look at him. “Listen, babe. If Jackson Wang asked me to suck his dick, then I would suck his dick, okay?’

You winced. “Thanks. I didn’t need to know that.”

“Do not ruin the opportunity to date a god like Jackson Wang because some stupid bitch got her dick pics mixed up. You are going to regret it.”

You sighed.

I really, really hope I don’t.

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softyoongiionly · 5 years

Text

Fear and Dumplings: Chapter Five

Confronting your fears for a final grade sounds unappealing but, with Yoongi as your partner, things might not be so bad.

Summary: You’re in your final semester at University when your Abnormal Psychology professor assigns you a partnered project surrounding your greatest fears. Lucky for you, your partner just so happens to be a cute boy named Min Yoongi.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Genre: College Au, Underground Rapper! Yoongi, Soft!!! Yoongi, Fluff!!!, some moderate angst (later), smut (later later), slow-ish? burn

Word Count: 5.7k

A/N: AHHHHH the overwhelming tension! I hope you guys like this one😊

Warnings for this Chapter: mentions of fear, anxiety, swearing (obviously), suggestive language, gut wrenching tension, slight angst.

Warnings for the Fic: mentions characters confronting their fears, characters in uncomfortable situations, emotional moments between characters, mentions of bad parenting, explicit language throughout the fic, moderate angst, and very explicit smut later in the story.

Chapter 5: Ferris Wheels and Friendship?

The next morning you woke up to an incessant buzzing that seemed to come from underneath your pillow. Squinting away the morning sun and cursing yourself for not shutting the window before you fell asleep; you take a look at your phone and, see that Jimin is calling you.

“Morning.” You croak, pulling your fuzzy throw blanket up over your figure.

“Morning Sleeping Beauty,” Jimin’s fairy voice twinkles through the speaker, a giggle on the tail end of his words “Did I wake you up?”

“Always.” There’s a bite to your tone but, Jimin’s knows better than to take it seriously. “What’s up?”

“It’s Friday.” He sing-songs and your eyes shoot open in alarm.

“Oh shit, Jimin! I’m sorry!” You flip the covers around, disturbing a sleeping Marzipan in the process, your feet meandering about on the floor as you try and look for some clean clothes. You and Jimin had a Friday tradition that involved crepes and the best iced coffee in the entire world. It was definitely something worth waking up for.

“Jagi, you’re good!” He calls through the phone, since you had to put him on speaker. “I’m at your door though, let me iiiin.” He whines and you rush to the door, not bothering to hang up his call. Swinging the door open, you are met with a giggling Jimin casually leaning against the doorframe. He looks amazing as usual, his pink hair effortlessly swept back, his rose colored cheeks dewy: his outfit is simple but jaw-dropping as usual. Tight grey skinny jeans, a pink oversized sweater, several gold earrings, and black leather boots adorn Jimin’s figure as he holds his arms out for you. Jimin always puts a smile on your face and, he is one of the few people you can confidently say that you never get tired of. You wrap your arms around him, pressing your cheek to his chest, a smile warming your features.

“I’m sorry I slept in.” You mumble against his sweater, and he lets out another giggle.

“It’s fine Y/N, I knew you’d never miss a date with me so, I showed up anyway.” His honeyed voice assures you as you pull away. It’s then that both you and Jimin realize that you don’t have pants on. “Yah! What are you doing answering the door in your panties, someone can walk by and see you!”

You giggle in response to his change in demeanor, pulling him inside as you shut the door.

“Calm down, I’m sure everyone on this floor has seen my underwear at some point.” You confess, still giggling lightly as you hand Jimin a water bottle and, his eyes narrow in your direction. Listen, sometimes I don’t feel like putting on pants just to run to the mailbox and back, I’ve actually gotten pretty good at making it back before anyone sees me.”

“I don’t want to hear about my best friend running around with her ass out, unless I’m there, also running around with my ass out. Someone could literally put you in their pocket.” Jimin admonishes with a pointed look, drinking from his water bottle but, his eyes reflect a bit of the normal playfulness that they always have.

“Look who’s talking.” You play back before running for your life and into your room. Jimin boils over as he picks up a pillow from your couch and throws it in your direction, the pillow nearly missing your head.

“Don’t be fucking rude!” He calls, attempting to sound angry but his giggle escapes his lips anyway.

———————————————————————————————–

“So that’s it? He just got up and left?” Jimin asks around a bite of strawberry crepe, his eyes wide after listening to you recount your night with Yoongi.

You nod, your lips pursed as you wipe your hands on the cloth napkin that lay over your lap.

“Yeah,” You replied casually, taking a sip of your iced coffee. “I don’t know, maybe I misread the situation. I get why he left I guess but, I was a little confused by him leaning away from me. I’m probably reading too much into it, I mean he was there for our project. He wasn’t there cause he wanted to hang out with me.”

“I mean, that’s true but, from what you are telling me, he doesn’t sound put off by you, he sounds like he might have been nervous. I mean odds are, you probably had your chest right in his face while you were fixing his hair.” Jimin smirks lightly, his eyes twinkling with suggestion.

You scoff, rolling your eyes as you toss your napkin his way and, forever the dancer, he dodges it swiftly, giggling.

“Shut up.” Your laugh eventually leaves your chest to bubble through your lips as Jimin holds his hands up.

“You’re hot; I’m just speaking the truth.” He defends a sweet smile on his lips.

“You flatter me kind sir” You conclude, patting his hand as you both giggle once again.

A few moments of comfortable silence passes before Jimin’s eyes light up in remembrance.

“Wait! Did you see Kookie’s tweet?”

Your eyes widen back at him as you brace your hands against the table, leaning forward slightly.

“Oh my god yes, what was that about? Do you think he’s seeing someone?”

Jungkook had posted a particularly out of character tweet this morning. The exact tweet read, “You’re the cause of my euphoria.” Jungkook was definitely a romantic little softy at heart but, it wasn’t like him to post cryptic things on social media: mainly because most of his posts were usually meme/sports related.

“Should we ask him about it? I’m sure he knows we saw it.” Jimin’s voice is hushed despite the fact that the man in question was 300 miles away.

You purse your lips in thought before shaking your head.

“No, I don’t think so; I think we should wait until he comes to us. Knowing him, he will probably downplay it anyway.” You conclude, smiling fondly at the thought of the secretly shy little bean that was your best friend.

“Ugh but, I want to know who my Kookie is seeing.” Jimin whines, slumping back into the chair, causing you to giggle.

“Trust me, so do I but, I think he’ll tell us when he’s ready. Besides, he might not even be seeing anyone yet; you know how he gets around pretty girls.” You try and reason with the man before you, who seems to be getting more and more flustered by the second.

“But I want to know now.” Jimin’s accent decorates his whine perfectly and, you curse him for being so adorable. “We’ve been best friends forever, he always tells me everything. I bet Taehyung knows.” He concludes bitterly and, you nudge his leg with your foot.

“If he did, he probably pried it out of him.” You assure him, fighting the laugh that’s brewing over Jimin’s tantrum.

“Fine, I won’t say anything.” Jimin surrenders, his features etched in a prominent frown. “I’ll just stalk his twitter.”

“You already stalk his twitter.” You point out, giggling, savoring the last sip of your iced coffee, the waiter coming over to collect the check.

“Well, I miss him!” He defends, his puffy lips pouted in frustration.

The two of you leave the café and, Jimin heads off to his showcase rehearsal while you catch the subway back home. As your nearing your stop, your phone buzzes in your hand. Glancing down, you see it’s from Yoongi and, you unlock your phone to open it. Your heart stalls in your chest for a moment as you look at the picture before you. It’s Yoongi but, with bright blonde hair. He’s parted it off to the side, exposing part of his forehead and, although the color wasn’t a shimmering platinum, it was definitely blonde. He has a little bit of a smile on his lips and, he looked like he hadn’t been up for too long. The picture was sent with a text that read: Yoongi: I guess you should change majors?

Fuck. He looked really good. You tell yourself to chill and, instead of responding right away, you wait until your back at your apartment.

You: I’ll let my student advisor know on Monday lol. Do you like it?

A few seconds pass before he replies.

Yoongi: It’s different but, I don’t mind it, I’m just happy I still have all of my hair.

You: Trust me, so am I.

Yoongi: Do you like it?

Your brows furrow at the new message you receive, your fingers stalling on the keyboard. Why would he care if you liked it?

You: I think it looks great, black to blonde is usually a rough way to go so, I’m happy it worked out.

Yoongi: Me too. Thanks again.

You: No worries.

A sigh leaves your lips as you lean back against your couch. You thumb presses into the power button on your phone, as you place it on the arm of the couch. Man, Tuesday could not come quick enough.

—————————————————————————————————-

“Ok so, the next one is easy, you put roller coasters and, I put heights, we can definitely combine those two.” You begin; you’re desk to desk with Yoongi, in the middle of your Tuesday lecture, trying to figure out the next part of the project. Yoongi had been late to class that day but, boy was he worth the wait; blonde messy hair, camouflage hoodie, black torn jeans and, of course his many silver earrings.

His chewing his lip as he nods in your direction, a slightly drawn out breath leaving his nose as he looks at his paper.

“Yeah, that makes sense. We should probably go to an amusement park or something.” Yoongi suggests, his lips hovering over the straw to his Americano. He looked immaculate as always but, you couldn’t miss the puffiness under his eyes that alluded to a night of very little sleep.

“Do you actually want to go on one of the rides?”

Yoongi shakes his head immediately, his dark eyes lighting up slightly in alarm.

“No, I’m good. We can just walk around or something.” He replies, his hand coming up to scratch behind his neck.

“Is it the height for you too? Or the movement?” You inquire, curiously, your eyes meeting his.

“It’s all of it. I don’t like being jerked around…well, not jerked around…like moved around, I guess. I don’t like it.” He fumbles out the last part of his sentence and, you have to stifle the giggle that wants to pass your lips. You nod, putting your pen to your paper, writing down the plans so, that you can turn it in to Professor James.

“No, I get it; you don’t like being jerked around. I’ll keep that in mind.” You reply casually and you feel an eraser being thrown your way.

“Shut up. Don’t be gross.” Yoongi admonishes but, his cheeks are pink and the amused smile on his lips has already presented itself.

“I’m just trying to get to know my partner.” You defend, the flirtation in your voice subtle but, clearly suggestive. Your eyes meet Yoongi’s for a moment and, you can sense that he’s in some kind of discomfort. He shifts in his seat, his hand at the back of his neck once more before, he takes another sip of his coffee.

“I’m busy for most of this week but, I can probably do Thursday night again, I think the park closes at 10 so, we should have plenty of time to get what we need.” He changes the subject, his gaze growing slightly stern as he glances around the room. Yikes.

“Thursday works for me. I have review session from 2-4 for my final but, I’ll be free after that.” Your returns to its normal cadence and, you couldn’t help but feel a little bummed out by Yoongi going all business on you again. You figured it was time to stop hoping that he would see you as something other than his partner for an inconvenient project.

“Alright, cool, I can meet you there; I’ll try and leave a little bit earlier to avoid the traffic.” He notes, nodding.

“Ok, we should get there around the same time then.” You reply, your eyes not really meeting his gaze any longer, your notebook suddenly becoming very interesting.

“What final is it?” Yoongi asks suddenly, his voice slightly softer than before.

“Hm?” Your eyes flit up to his and you find him staring back at you curiously.

“Your final, that you’re reviewing for?” He clarifies, taking another sip of his coffee.

“Oh, yeah, it’s my International Relations final, it’s one of my final grad requirements so, I need to ace it.” You explain, Yoongi nodding along, his eyes holding a bit of interest for once.

“What do you plan to do with your degree?”

“I want to work as an international advocate of some sorts. I’m interested in improving international relationships and foreign affairs, stuff like that. I’d really like to work in human rights as well but, that’s something I’ll probably have to work up to.” You reply, passion lighting up your voice as you speak about your passions. Yoongi’s face lights up slightly, a small but, genuine smile gracing his features as he nods along.

“That’s cool; the world definitely needs the help.”

“Yeah, I think so too. What about you?” You inquire, your body leaning forward slightly. Yoongi’s expression lights up further as nods to his laptop.

“Well, if I actually get my final composition project done, I plan on staying in the city to work as a producer. I have a friend who owns a small studio in the west province who said I have a job when I graduate.” He explains, his tone one of pride and certainty.

You smile, your eyes lighting up intrigued.

“That’s really cool; it’s nice that you have something lined up already. Do you make your own stuff or are you just looking to make beats for other people?” At this question, Yoongi shifts his posture again, growing smaller in his seat.

“Uh I make my own stuff sometimes but, I usually just sell beats to aspiring SoundCloud rappers.” He smirks slightly as you giggle, stretching your limbs before nodding to your phone.

“Are they any good?”

“No, they’re trash.” He scoffs his eyes playful as his long fingers fiddle with the end of his paper. “But, I have rent so; I do what I have to do.”

“I get you. Do you sing or?” You’re attempting to milk as much of the conversation as possible, as this is probably the most genuine verbal encounter you’ve had with Yoongi. Yoongi cringes at your inquiry, his face wrinkled in distaste as he shakes his head.

“No.” He chuckles as he leans back in his chair, the soft column of his throat visible as continues. “I rap…sometimes, just for fun though.”

You smile playfully, tilting your head, as Professor James calls for your planning papers. “Let me know when your mixtape drops.”

At this, Yoongi rolls his eyes but, you can’t miss the blush that once again graces his cheeks.

“Not going to happen.” He bites back, as he slips his laptop into his bag.

The two of you drop your papers on Professor James’s desk before, weaving through the crowd of people towards the exit. Usually Yoongi leaves you behind to head back into the main part of the campus but, this time he lingers beside you, his thumbs tucking into the straps of his backpack.

“I’ll see you Thursday?” He asks, his voice soft, his doll-lips pouted as he tilts his head towards the direction he plans to walk.

“I’ll be there.” You smile in assurance as you begin to part ways. Your back is almost completely turned before you hear Yoongi’s voice again.

“Bring a jacket, it’s supposed to be cold.” He calls; hands pulling the sleeves of his hoodie back down over his wrists. You nod, biting back a smile at his request.

“I will, thanks.” You call back before turning back and going your separate ways.

———————————————————————————————-

“Y/N likes Yoongi, Y/N likes Yoongi!” An annoying course of voices echoes through your screen as you roll your eyes, flipping off your webcam.

“I don’t like Yoongi; I just think he’s cute!” You insist, through the choir from hell that’s currently berating you.

It’s Wednesday night and you’re in the middle of a skype session with Jimin, Taehyung and, Jungkook. Jimin and his big mouth had slowly started to bring up the idea that one of you was seeing someone. Jungkook had started to look visibly uncomfortable so, you decided to shift the focus onto you. You had mentioned Yoongi and, his new hair and, how literally everything he does was endearing and, this obviously opened you up to a barrage of teasing from your friends.

“You never talk about boys this way Y/N, you definitely have a thing for him.” Taehyung points out, his smirk prominent as the other two boys finally settle down.

“Seriously, she mentions him all the time; it’s starting to make me jealous.” Jimin pouts, causing Taehyung to chuckle. Jungkook, who would normally be memeing the hell out of you right now, decides to quiet down, not wanting to risk his own love life being questioned.

“You guys, even if I had a thing for Yoongi, it wouldn’t matter. He’s made it obvious that he isn’t feeling it, trust me.” You explain, playing with the ends of your hair, whilst Taehyung and Jimin roll their eyes.

“You don’t know that, have you tried flirting a little?” Taehyung asks, his expression doubtful as he deadpans the camera.

“Yeah, actually I have but, I think it makes him uncomfortable and, I don’t really want to do that.” You’re trying to keep your tone casual, not really wanting to reveal your disappointment to your friends. Yoongi wasn’t interested in you, that much was obvious but, so far, he seemed like a nice guy so, you really didn’t want to make things awkward for him.

“I don’t know Y/N, you don’t exactly have a good track record when it comes to knowing if guys like you or not. There were at least half a dozen guys in high school that had a thing for you and, you had no idea.” Jimin points out, shrugging as he throws back some of the pink wine in his glass. Taehyung nods in agreement, pointing towards you.

“Jiminie’s right, maybe you just make him nervous. You have that effect on men.” Taehyung smirks as he leans back in his seat. You roll your eyes and shake your head, your hand reaching over to pat Marzipan who has plopped down next to you.

“I think you should keep going the way you are. Hyung is right, he might just be nervous but, if you don’t know for sure, maybe it’s best to just keep going with the flow.” Jungkook finally pipes up, his demeanor much calmer than normal and, you really have to stifle your desire to ask him why he isn’t being the walking meme that he normally is.

“Thanks Kookie. I think you’re right.” You smile sweetly in his direction as he nods almost shyly in return. Taehyung and Jimin roll their eyes causing both you and Jungkook to laugh.

“I think you should say something to him. Take charge, let him know how you feel.” Taehyung encourages as Jimin nods along to his sentiment. “ He might surprise you.”

“He’s my partner guys, if he’s not into me, it’s going to make the whole thing a lot harder to get through. Look, I promise to say something if he gives me good reason to but, right now, I’m going to take Jungkook’s advice and, go with the flow.” You state and Jungkook smile’s proudly in return before, sticking his tongue out at the screen.

“Ha! I win, suckers.” He announces to the other boys, causing you to laugh at his antics. “Best advice goes to me, Jeon Jungkook, the love expert.”

Ah, there he is.

—————————————————————————————————-

Thursday finally arrives and, you’re rifling through your closet, desperately trying to find your favorite hoodie. Its black and 4-5 sizes too big, which basically means it hangs below your knees. The inside is lined with thick fleece that is easily the softest material you have ever felt and, you could have sworn you hung it up the last time you did laundry. Your face lights up in victory as you spot a mass of black fabric hanging off of one of your shelves before, slipping it on over your bra and leggings. You opt for some comfortable shoes since, odds are, you‘re going to be walking around the park for a while. Marzipan scurries into the kitchen as she hears you pouring food into her bowl, her chubby body almost sliding across the floor as she reaches her destination. You giggle fondly at her, patting her head before, grabbing your things and heading out the door.

The subway ride was longer than you’re used to but, eventually you’re dropped off near the main entrance of the amusement park. When you finally feel the frigid outside air, you thank your lucky stars that Yoongi had reminded you to bring a jacket. You honestly don’t know what you would have done if you had opted to wear anything else. Moving through the crowd of people, you eventually move off to the side to pull your phone out.

You: Hey, I’m here. Have you made it yet?

Yoongi’s reply takes a few minutes before a new message lights up your screen.

Yoongi: I just parked. Meet me at the ticket booth.

You: I bought our tickets already, do you want to just meet at the main entrance?

The chat bubble moves around for a long time and based on his short reply, you assume he was unsure of how to respond.

Yoongi: You didn’t have to do that.

You: You promised me I could get the next round so, I did just that.

Yoongi: I meant the next round of food…

You: Don’t worry about it.

A few moments pass before you spot Yoongi walking towards your direction. He’s wearing the same outfit he wore during your AM lecture: black Nike sweats with a dark gray utility jacket. He’s also sporting a disapproving expression, his hands tucked into his pockets as he approaches you. You push off of the wall you were leaning against, strolling over to meet him half way.

“I wish you wouldn’t have wasted your money on me.” He announces as the two of your paths finally meet. “I could have paid.”

“You’re welcome Yoongi.” You reply simply, nudging him towards the main entrance. He side eyes you, his posture stiff but, he allows you to push him towards your destination.

“Thank you.” His voice is soft and you almost miss the small smile that appears and then vanishes on his mouth.

The two of you approach the gate and, you reach out to hand your tickets to the clerk who is sporting a brilliant smile.

“Enjoy!” She chirps and both you and Yoongi thank her before you head inside.

The park is buzzing with activity, twinkling lights adorning nearly every structure, the air is scented with tantalizing flavors that resemble cinnamon and freshly baked bread, children are eagerly tugging their parents towards various shops and rides and, there’s probably around a half a dozen giant roller coasters that stand proudly towards the back of the park. You can’t help but smile at the scene before you and, this doesn’t go unnoticed by the man standing beside you.

“What?” His brows are raised, as he glances between you and whatever he assumes you’re smiling at.

“Nothing.” You reply, your smile fading slightly before jerking your head towards the back of the park. “I’m guessing we should head that way?”

Yoongi takes a deep breath, nodding in response as the two of you start to make your way to the metal fortresses that await you.

You observe the coasters from a distance and, you feel yourself getting slightly nervous at the thought of riding the tallest one that protrudes in the middle of the group, the top of it looking as if its about to touch the sky. Roller coasters themselves didn’t really bother you but, the idea of being up so high without any control over when you are able to get down, really freaked you out. Yoongi stayed silent for the most part as you meandered your way through the eager patrons. You felt some level of disappointment as the tricky part of your brain reminded you that you wished you were here with Yoongi for different reasons.

“Which one scares you the most?” You ask him after the two of you finally reach the cluster of coasters.

Yoongi’s eyes shift around for a moment, his lips pursed in thought before he nods toward a black coaster that looks it spins and flips about a thousand times.

“That one, I can’t understand why anyone would find that fun.” He replies, wrinkling his nose in distaste. You laugh lightly before you nod towards the giant colorful Ferris Wheel dominating the right side of the back lot.

“What about that one?” You inquire softly, your eyes lighting up with an idea. Yoongi ponders your question for a moment before shrugging.

“That one isn’t too bad, I’m not a huge fan of the height but, it’s probably the only one I would consider riding.”

“I’m going to ride it.” You say suddenly, nudging his shoulder with your own. Yoongi’s brow furrows as he looks over at you and then back at the ride.

“Wait why? I thought we were just walking around.” He reminds you but, you already start making your way towards the Ferris Wheel, your heart starting to pound in your chest as you do. Yoongi struggles to keep up with you as he looks at you with concern.

You shrug as you take your place in line, “You actually dyed your hair and it turned out alright, I think I should confront a fear or two directly too. You don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to though.”

Yoongi looks at you for a moment, still alarmed as his eyes regard the behemoth wheel before the both of you. He shakes his head, his gaze once again disapproving as he sighs out through his nose.

“I’ll watch your stuff, I guess, just…” He pauses, his eyes scanning over your frame as you hand him your purse. “Be…safe…”

You giggle lightly at his demeanor, pushing down the anxiety and disappointment that’s brewing in your chest.

“I’ll be strapped in Yoongi, don’t worry.” You assure him, before, making your way to the entrance of the ride. What were you doing???? Were you crazy??? There was literally no reason to confront this fear directly but, honestly, why not? It was a Ferris Wheel. Yes, it was unnerving but, what’s the worst that can happen?

Right before you approach the front of the line, you hear a soft murmur, that sounded like your name, making its way through the group of people before you notice Yoongi shuffling over to you.

“What’s wrong?” You ask with a tilt to your head. Yoongi lets out a frustrated sigh, his face turned up in discomfort as you both approach the ride operator.

“You shouldn’t ride it alone.” Yoongi mumbles, regarding you with his cat eyes.

“Yoongi, I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.” You assure him, your eyes soft with concern.

“Well I don’t even want to be here but, I can’t afford to fail this class so, let’s just get this over with, I guess.” For the first time, you sense actual irritation in Yoongi’s voice and the tone makes your face fall.

You nod robotically as the woman ushers the two of you into a massive structure that looks like a carriage. As the two of you step inside, you pull your seatbelt over your lap, keeping your attention on the material. Yoongi has his eyes on you and, you can feel it but, you have no intention at meeting his gaze. As the ride rumbles to life, you grip your seatbelt a little tighter in an attempt to calm your nerves while Yoongi scans over you warily. The two of you don’t speak for some time, your eyes trained on the window of the carriage as it slowly starts moving.

“Are you ok?” Yoongi’s soft voice finally breaks the thick layer of silence between the two of you, his cat eyes regarding you.

“Yeah. I’m good, you?” You jerk your head in his direction, your voice smaller than you want it to be. Yoongi isn’t convinced but, he answers your question anyway.

“Yeah, I’m ok.”

Silence fills the carriage again as you shift slightly on the cushioned seat. The view from the window is revealing more and more of the twinkling city lights and, you once again feel a twinge of sadness that you aren’t here with someone you wants to be there with you. Jimin would love this ride, you note, wishing he was here to make you laugh.

“I’m sorry that you’re here with me instead of some pretty girl or something, you got to admit though, this view is amazing.” You attempt to lighten the mood, smiling slightly as you look out the window. Yoongi’s brow furrows in confusion but, you miss this as you’ve purposefully chosen to avoid his gaze.

“What do you mean?” He mumbles, his voice smaller than normal. You look over at him to see him fiddling with the end of his hoodie, as he stares back at you.

“I just mean that this is actually kind of cool and, I’m sure you’d rather be here with your girlfriend or something.” You explain, keeping your tone as casual as possible.

“I don’t have a girlfriend.” He retorts, his eyes regarding you, a ghost of a smirk playing on his mouth. “and you are…pretty.” Yoongi seems to force the last part of his sentence out and, you can’t help but giggle in response.

“It’s ok Yoongi; you don’t have to say that. I know you aren’t into me like that.” You smile reassuringly, waving him off almost, trying to move the subject along.

“No, actually, you don’t know that.” He mutters, confusion and faint irritation flashing across his face.

“Well, maybe, I’m wrong for assuming but_”

“You are.” Yoongi cuts you off, his voice calm and annoyingly monotone but, his gaze holds something you can’t quite identify. “Why would you think I wasn’t attracted to you?”

“Your body language, the way you constantly avoid eye contact with me, just stuff like that. It’s no big deal Yoongi; I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, it’s just something I’ve noticed.”

“You’re wrong.” His cheeks are pink and you feel an unsettling flutter in your stomach as you lock eyes with him.

“Fine, I’m wrong. I’m sorry for assuming.” You concede, smirking lightly as you regard his flustered frame. “Would you kiss me? Hypothetically?”

You don’t know what’s come over you, you’re not normally so brazen but you really wanted to know what went on in that pretty blonde head of his.

“Yeah…”He swallows around a dry throat, his hand coming up to scratch the back of his neck, his eyes avoiding yours for the first time during this conversation. “I would…hypothetically.”

Your smirk is unwavering as your teeth nibble on the inside of your lip.

“Where?” The inquiry passes your lips as your voice drops to a low murmur, the flirtation that you’ve suppressed creeping back into your tone.

“Where?” Yoongi repeats, his shaky voice confused momentarily as you watch his gaze flicker between your chest to your throat and, then finally settling on your lips. “I…I don’t know…your lips…maybe…other places too…”

The fluttering in your chest doesn’t seize and, you really try to reason with yourself but, you can’t help but want him. Before you can reply, another confession tumbles passed his lips.

“I’d kiss you everywhere…if you’d let me.”

The ride jolts momentarily ripping you and Yoongi out of your moment, you look around, concerned that something was wrong before a voice crackles through the speakers.

“Attention Ladies and Gentleman, the ride is experiencing some minor technical difficulties and, will resume shortly, please continue to keep your hands, arms, feet and legs inside the ride at all times, we will have everything moving in no time.”

The two of you settle down and catch each other’s gaze once again; Yoongi’s cheeks still pink, his hand resuming its favorite spot behind his neck. He chuckles lightly and, you can’t help but follow suit, his eyes twinkling in amusement.

“You….uh” Yoongi begins his sentence but, he seems to lose his words for moment as he stares at you. He takes a breath, his head turning to the side slightly before continuing. “We can’t.”

Your brow furrows as you cock your head, your eyes holding his.

“We can’t what?”

“We can’t do anything.” He explains further, his voice decorated with hesitation, his deep chocolate eyes unsure. You fall silent for a moment, your eyes softer than they were before as you hold his gaze.

“Can I ask why?”

Yoongi’s lips are drawn up into a half smile and you think for a moment you detect a hint of fondness in his eyes before he answers.

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea.” He admits, your face falls for a moment as you look out the window. You nod as you chew on the inside of your lip before Yoongi pipes up again. “It’s not because I don’t want to. I just think it’s a bad idea… right now.”

You nod your head again, smiling warmly, aiming to conceal your disappointment.

“I get it, don’t worry, thanks for the ego boost. For the record though,” Your smile turns into a smirk, your eyes playful. “I’d kiss you too. Everywhere.” The tone of your voice is dramatic and overly seductive causing Yoongi to roll his eyes and flip you off, despite your comment clearly flustering him. A giggle erupts over your lips as the ride resumes motion towards the ground.

Maybe Jungkook wasn’t a “love expert” after all.

421 notes · View notes

theartofmedia · 5 years

Text

The Art of Review: YIIK: A Postmodern RPG

I have been sitting here for about two hours with this tab open, trying to find out how to properly introduce this. At the time of writing this (May 7, 2019, 10:02 PM), I have just finished watching YIIK several hours ago. However, I have been doing just about everything to avoid actually writing about it, because I have no idea how to ease the reader into this.

YIIK is so reprehensible that I created this segment--”The Art of Review”--because I needed to talk about this game. I needed to explain just why this game fails on every single account, and is so blatantly offensive. Initially, I was going to do a piece on something creator Andrew Allanson had said about games and his protagonist, Alex. It had to do with character development, and a common criticism was Alex’s sheer lack of it; naturally, I decided to watch a walkthrough online in order to see this for myself first-hand.

I was not prepared for what I saw. I have never had to take as many breaks from any media before due to sheer anger at what I was witnessing. I have never seen a game that fails in every single sense, that is regarded as such high art by its developers. Except maybe David Cage, but he’s a topic for another day.

YIIK: A Postmodern RPG is one of the worst pieces of media I have ever had the displeasure of viewing... probably in my entire life. I wish I was exaggerating.

Before I go any further, I would like give immense credit to GrandmaParty and the others at the Something Awful forums for doing an LP of the game with commentary and cutting out the fights. GrandmaParty graciously linked the thread to me--which is full of sources that I will also be linking to throughout this piece--and made the entire game tolerable enough for me to power through. It wouldn’t have happened without you guys, so thank you very much for extending a hand to a small creator trying to get her footing in the world. <3

I will also be linking to the various episodes of GrandmaParty’s LP with timestamped links to show particular scenes or dialogue. I’ve heard that one Andrew Allanson likes to say that people doctored screenshots of his game to make him look bad. Sorry, but I don’t like being accused of forgery, so I’m going to just preemptively strike that claim down.

Now then. This is going to be a big, long review. Allow me to tell you how we’ll be separating this.

We’re going to have two main sections: a non-spoiler review, and a spoiler review. This is mainly due to the fact that a lot of the game’s issues come from its mess of a story, one that can only be understood fully if you’ve seen it through to the end (and its multiple endings).

But let me be clear here.

DO NOT BUY THIS GAME.

Don’t buy it for a laugh. Don’t buy it to see how bad it is. It’s broken, it’s offensive, and the creators and proven themselves time and time again to be genuinely awful and prejudiced people. Do not give these people money.

The non-spoiler and spoiler sections will be divided into subsections, which may also have subsections of their own.

With that said... let’s begin my review of YIIK: A Postmodern RPG.

Non-Spoiler Review

Plot:

The plot of YIIK (it’s pronounced like Y2K, but I’m going to pronounce it as ‘yick’ personally) follows Alex, a freshly-graduated college student, and the strange events that begin to occur once he returns to his hometown of Frankton. He follows a cat to an old factory/hotel, where he meets Sammy, a young woman who appears to live there. When she is taken by some mysterious creatures in front of Alex, he begins a journey to try and find out what happened to her, and begins to make discoveries that could endanger the very fabric of the universe. In theory, at least. In reality, the story is an absolute clusterfuck of vague metaphysics, and the rules of the world were never clearly established, so everything just becomes an incoherent mess.

Characters:

The characters are bare-bones at best and absolutely insufferable at worst. Alex especially is infamous among critics and detractors of the game for his arrogance, ignorance, underlying racism/sexism we’ll get to that, and lack of properly-written development. I’m not going to go into full detail with Alex just yet--there will be an entirely separate post on him. Something also to keep in mind that general consensus appears to be that Alex is an author-insert for Andrew Allanson. Whether that is or isn’t true is frankly up to the viewer, but there’s no definitive proof of it.

(Oh!!! Quick thing!! This image here keeps circulating around--this person is not Andrew! That is someone named Cr33pyDude on both Twitter and Reddit! He just so happens to look like the main character. Don’t rag on this guy, everyone, he doesn’t have anything to do with this shitshow. <3)

Most of the other characters are bland and underdeveloped, but all have potential to be better (Rory especially, in my personal opinion) if they were in the hands of a better writer. The female characters, though... either they are fawning over Alex, being written as nagging and overbearing, or having so little significance that taking them out entirely would change nothing. Don’t worry, we’ll get to that. Other NPCs are forgettable, and enemies are out-of-place monsters that hold no consequence to the story.

Writing:

And the writing--dear god the writing. The writers don’t know the phrase “show, don’t tell.” So frequently would Alex monologue about nothing. Upon coming back from seeing a woman get taken by supernatural creatures, he goes home and reflects--only to go on a tangent about his mother. Immediately after that, he goes on a rant about p/o/r/n/ when sent an email and how girls that he used to go to school with wouldn’t be doing “particularly unladylike” things. And the entire game is like this. Alex will go on pseudo-philosophical rants to himself, and they reveal nothing about his character except that he thinks he’s better than everyone else. He’ll also frequently describe things as though talking to someone--while this does get explained later, it still is completely frustrating when the narrative says “I said this and she said that” instead of just having dialogue or actions between characters. A lot of the dialogue doesn’t exactly... sound like anything a human would say. It’s stilted and unnatural.

Graphics:

The graphics are... bad. Really bad. The style is supposed to be a throwback to old-school, very polygonal games, but environments lack any and all actual texture, making them incredibly flat and uninteresting at best and painful for the eyes at worst. Everything is extremely colorful, but in the sense of neon colors. Everything is so bright and vibrant, and there is barely a place where someone’s eyes can rest--it’s balance in art. Brightness like this needs to be contrasted with darker, more muted shades, or else it just hurts to look at. The viewer’s eyes need places to rest, and the muted shades allow them that reprieve. You don’t get that with YIIK. It’s just a constant bombardment of colors and lights, to the point where if you are sensitive to these kinds of things, you may not want to look even at game footage unless you’re prepared. The character portraits are fine, even if some expressions are odd, but the in-game chibi-esque models are... bad. Really bad. They’re so uncanny and unsettling, and their expressions almost never change. (Also Alex has detailed teeth and it’s just as horrifying as you might think.)

Music/Audio:

The music is. Awful? It’s awful. It’s genuinely really bad. Case in point: one of the boss battle themes. You can hear this poor guy trying so hard to put power behind his voice, but it just sounds unnatural and strained. (Also he clips the mic at some points, and the balancing in general is. Bad.) He’s out-of-tune and occasionally off-beat, and it just makes for a very unpleasant listening experience. And a lot of the music is like this, being just an assault on the ears. The one real exception to this is the track “Into the Mind” made by one Toby Fox, presumably before he made Undertale and was doing freelance work. (He has since deleted his tweet promoting it. Screenshot of the tweet here, courtesy of @GameTheoryRejects.) The audio in general is poor, with irritating sound effects, occasional distorted audio that’s supposed to be scary but is so poorly done that it just hurts to listen to, and voice acting that’s lackluster at best and utterly emotionless at worst.

Gameplay:

Full disclosure: I did not personally play the game. But just looking at it shows how irritating, slow, clunky, and repetitive it is. Each character has a minigame that you play in order to attack, defend, use special attacks, and even run away. These minigames, unlike in something like the Mario & Luigi series, are slow, drawn-out, and completely break up the flow of the fight. And none of the other characters matter then anyway, because turns out if you max out your LUK stat, you can use a particular move that hits all enemies and completely one-shot them from critical damage. (And this move can even glitch out the game in some cases!) The menus are crowded and visually uninteresting, making everything sort of meld together. (Another minor criticism: YIIK has a tendency to put the player in unwinnable fights. You are never aware of what fights are winnable and which fights are designed to kill you. More on this later.)

Speaking of gameplay, the leveling system is... bizarre and tedious. You get EXP, but you don’t gain the ability to level up (yes that is an ability you have to gain) until a couple hours into the game. Leveling up is done in the Mind Dungeon, which you access from save points, and you have to go through doors that increase the stats you assign it. There are four doors per floor, and when you go to the next floor, you and all of your teammates (even if you haven’t met them in-game) level up. Sounds simple, right? Well. It’s slow and repetitive, and NOTHING HAPPENS. You walk in a door. You walk out the door. Rinse and repeat for 70 floors. (280 doors, by the way.) Here’s GrandmaParty doing this for an hour to get an idea of the tedium that this induces. You get to play a minigame when you banish certain enemies, but that serves less as ‘spicing up the gameplay’ and more of ‘adding more steps to this already-boring section.’

So to recap: Flat characters, word-salad plot, painful prose flat-out ugly graphics, backwards gameplay and leveling system.

Tl;dr: Game bad. Don’t buy it.

... This ends the non-spoiler portion of the review. And also the section where we start to talk about some... sensitive topics.

As such, I am going to issue a legitimate trigger warning: the following pieces talk about suicide/depression in detail, as well as physical & domestic abuse situations.

And a small content warning for those who aren’t legitimately triggered by these subjects but still feel uncomfortable reading about the following: homophobia/transphobia; sexism; racism; and the actual use of a real-life woman’s death as a plot device. No I am not fucking kidding about that last one.

So. Let’s get into the real shit about YIIK.

Spoiler Review

Plot:

Let’s start with the plot. There isn’t really a driving force for this plot; initially, it’s finding Semi “Sammy” Pak (well, everyone except Rory says “Park,” even though all of the written lines say “Pak,” so that’s great) after she is taken by mysterious figures. However, as the game progresses, the search becomes less about finding Sammy until she’s just a footnote, and becomes more about... meandering around the world going from one goal to another while fighting things. (The game points this out, but self-awareness doesn’t excuse the fact that it happens. Especially considering the upcoming plot points...)

Then the metaphysics start--people have been trying to decipher this world’s rules for a while with little success, so bear with me, I’m going to try to make as much sense of what we’re given as possible.

There exists a “place between places“ known as the Soul Space. It exists between parallel realities. A person can actually will themself into the Soul Space via... depression? One character, Vella, says that another character, Rory, left his body when he “surrendered himself to his misery” following the death of his younger sister, and explained herself that she fell into a deep depression as well before entering the Soul Space... but it’s not dying? Or it can be? Here Rory asks The Essentia 2000 oh we’ll get to her don’t you worry if dying means you enter the Soul Space. She says that it’s complicated. Her explanation boils down to, “if you care only about material goods and not about your bonds, when you die, you will cease to exist. If you don’t care about materialistic goods when you die, then ehhhhh???”

Also, if your reality is destroyed but you go into the Soul Space, you can become a Soul Survivor (aka the not-Starmen, seen in the cutscene with Vella and Rory linked above) and get stuck in other’s realities as you try to find a physical body. Also, people share a Soul across parallel realities--meaning, parallel versions of yourself would share the same Soul. But they’re not the same people. They have different lives, races, genders, names, but they share the same “Soul.” Only one person with that “Soul” can exist in a reality at a time, hence the form that the Soul Survivors take if they enter a reality where another person with that “Soul” lives. If, however, that person with your “Soul” is no longer in that reality, you can retake physical form and essentially take their place--though not as them, but as you.

And if you go into the Soul Space you apparently understand the secrets of the universe and are beyond normal human follies.

Confused yet? Me too, and I wrote this damn thing. The worldbuilding is so vague, and the players aren’t given set rules that the world plays by. Even when the more surrealist elements of the game start to appear, there should still be rules. Perhaps nonsensical rules, but rules nonetheless. Instead we get talk about Souls and parallel realities, scenes of bright colors and strange imagery that never gets explained or really acknowledged (other than a mention of them being “breaks in reality” like, once), and some plot twists that imply... a lot.

Let’s talk about the characters before we get to the ending.

Characters

Besides Alex, there are five major characters in YIIK:

Michael, who is Alex’s childhood friend and who doesn’t really have much relevance between the beginning and the end of the game. No, really, for the middle portion of the game, he doesn’t really do anything. He hangs around, that’s about it. He gains relevance again during the end of the game where he goes into the Soul Space and becomes Proto-Michael, and that... happens, I guess. I think it contributes to the revelation later on about reality breaking.

Vella is... a strange character. A strange character forced to contradict herself because the plot demands it. She’s shown to be a character who takes no shit, but also bends at the first flimsy apology Alex gives her. She is compassionate to someone like Rory, but spends most of her time calling out Alex. (And yet, somehow, they fall in love???) These notes I took previously on Vella’s first appearance show how what kind of walking contradiction that Vella is as a character:

”Stop creeping on me while i’m at work”

”Okay I’ll go to the house of two strangers who i just accused of perving on me, in the middle of my work shift, to look at these pictures of me on this website i’ve never heard of that can’t go wrong”

”So let me tell you about this traumatizing experience i had with a supernatural creature, saying how emotional and painful it was without any emotion in my voice”

”also i’m not going to tell you how I got to where the supernatural creature was because it’s very personal and I don’t know you and revealing that would make me vulnerable”

”By the way I’m going to give you my number as well as this other number for a training dungeon basically because I like you two”

... yeah,

Rory is probably my favorite character out of this dreck, and he deserves so, so much better than being in this shit. He’s a quiet scene kid who initially gets roped into the plot with the disappearance of his 12-year-old sister--turns out, however, that she killed herself, and Rory struggles with the resulting grief, trauma, and depression that follows. He’s a sweet kid who’s a pacifist, is teaching himself how to make games, knows a lot of random bits of information about many things, and overall deserves so much better than this game. Sorry Allansons you’ve lost your Rory privileges he is My son now

Claudio and Chondra... are just kind of there? Claudio’s a stereotypical weeb. Chondra is the “sassy black girl”/little sister type (which is later revealed to be even stranger, because she’s apparently a graduate student). They don’t have much outside of that, and that’s a shame, since they had a lot of potential to be really good. However, they also seem a bit... tacked on and included for diversity’s sake, as both of them mention racism at some point, and... yeah. The game isn’t very graceful with that topic, as I’ll soon get into.

There is also the character of Panda, who appears out of nowhere in the factory/hotel and is never questioned. It becomes very clear that he’s a figment of Alex’s imagination, and is Alex personifying him as his sort of “conscious“ when he is, in reality, only a stuffed bear. He only talks when Alex is alone. A lot of people really don’t like him, but I will admit that I got mildly emotional when he drifted away in space near the end--but only because I myself make stuffed animals and dolls, so nearly any stuffed animal holds a place in my heart. However, I can very much see why people wouldn’t like him at all.

Anyway.

The Fucking Ending:

So everyone just kind of meanders around for the middle portion of the game until surprise! On New Years’ Eve the world is going to be destroyed. Not just the world--the entire reality. And it’s going to be Alex’s fault, somehow. Also Sammy--who Alex becomes obsessed with--Vella--who is an explicit love interest for Alex--and an android--the previously-mentioned The Essentia 2000, who Alex has a dream about and immediately becomes infatuated--with all turn out to be the same person! Why pick between love interests when they can all just turn out to be the same person?! Also, Sammy was taken by apparent demons because her Soul was in the process of going into the Soul Space, and the creatures the took her were actually the other 2/3rds of her Soul that had already gone into the Soul Space and they were just collecting the last piece. I think.

The game turns into a watered-down version of Persona 3, where you have about a month--from Thanksgiving until New Years’ Eve--to train and get strong enough to stop whatever is going to destroy reality. (The actual Y2K thing is mentioned about halfway through and serves little relevance other than to mark when the end of the world is, since Y2K isn’t actually the cause of the world ending). Then there are some weird plot twists about how reality has been breaking for a long while (this was briefly foreshadowed in Alex going to Michael’s house only to be told that Michael doesn’t live there, and then going to another house where Michael is) and it makes a lot of things really confusing?? And then New Years’ Eve comes where everything is really breaking. Turns out the end of this reality is caused by a meteor with Alex’s face on it a la the moon from Majora’s Mask, no I am not fucking kidding. And it moves around like an inflatable arm-flailing tube man, no I am not fucking kidding.

And then everyone dies. No, really, this is an unwinnable fight. You die. Your entire party dies. Their reality is destroyed.

Alex wanders around the Soul Space for a while until he finds other versions of himself, and various “dark versions” merge together to create the Proto-Comet (’proto’ being the suffix to describe the end product of parallel selves merging together to form one entity). Alex follows the comet around as it destroys reality after reality until...

He finds one that hasn’t been attacked.

And gueeeeeeess what?

You, the player, are a parallel version of Alex. So he enlists you and another party of parallels (using the names you were supposed to input in the beginning) to destroy Proto-Alex. Here, you meet a spectre who is very obviously Sammy Pak, and she says that she’s sorry that Essentia “used her to get to you,” and you hug her.

Eventually you do get to Proto-Alex, as well as a different form of Essentia. Turns out that Essentia lied to you about Sammy and Vella--turns out, Essentia IS you. Well, Essentia is part of Alex, and she tricked Alex into destroying Proto-Alex in order to free herself from the “Soul” that they share. So you can choose to fight Proto-Alex, and if you do, you lose. Again. The boss fight in unwinnable.

And then this... really weird section happens with the character of Roy from Two Brothers, Ackk Studios’ previous game that got pulled from Steam due to bugginess and crashing. Roy basically says that people were “trying to stop his quest” (aka critics) and that Alex shouldn’t give up. (Note that this is a complete non-sequitur to anyone who doesn’t know who Roy is, where he came from, or the story behind the game being pulled.)

After that, you control both the player avatar given and Alex in order to “unplug” Proto-Alex and Essentia, which will make them “whole”? It basically means that all the versions of Alex will merge together into you, the player.

Then the game ends.

At least. Kind of. There’s more than one ending.

But... we’ll get back to that in a bit.

There are many questions the game raises without answers. Why was Sammy bleeding and screaming for the Soul Survivors not to take her because “you promised you wouldn’t move me again!”? Who actually is Vella? Why did no one question Essentia and Vella being in the same space if it was already said that they couldn’t be? Who actually is Sammy? Why is she a ghost and not a Soul Survivor? Why were Proto-Alex and the other “dark Alex”-es trying to destroy realities? Why does Proto-Alex look different than the other Alex-es, who look relatively similar? Who actually was the voice on the phone--it was implied to be Proto-Michael, but he didn’t exist when those phone calls were made? Is Claudio and Chondra’s missing younger brother actually a version of Alex, as this clip implies (esp. w/ the anime shirt)?

Good luck getting answers, because we sure as hell don’t get any.

Also--glad to know that the entire month of training that you spent the latter half of the game doing was all for naught, since the last two major fights you’re in are unwinnable. There are four minibosses to fight, so it isn’t all for nothing, but still. You don’t even get the satisfaction of killing the final boss. You pull a lever and he and Essentia get weirdly electrocuted.

One more thing: the twist of “Essentia lied to you” made a metric fuckton of exposition in her Mind Dungeon utterly pointless, and also feels like a flimsy excuse to absolve Alex of blame for the shitty actions of his parallel selves--more on that later.

So let’s touch on some controversy now that we have gone over the rest of this incoherent mess of a plot.

Elisa Lam

One of the most famous controversies of YIIK is the use of Elisa Lam’s death to propel the story. This is true--the creator admits that he “was very moved” by Lam’s death.

For those not in the know, let me give you a brief summary of the case of Elisa Lam. (Yes this is going to be primarily from Wikipedia but it also has news sources cited for it.) Elisa Lam was a 21-year-old Chinese-Canadian student who was reported missing at the beginning of February 2013. On February 17th, the workers at the Cecil Hotel in Los Angeles (where Lam was visiting) discovered her nude body in one of the hotel’s water tanks after guests complained about the taste of the water. The police released footage of Lam, from the day of her disappearance, acting strangely in an elevator, appearing to be hiding from something, pressing elevator buttons, and gesturing and talking to no one. There was controversy surrounding her death, as people wondered how she could have locked herself in the water tank, and how the police could rule her death as accidental. People have suspected that it was due to paranormal activity that she was acting like that, or others said that she could have been having hallucinations (as Lam was diagnosed with bipolar and depression). Her death was quickly spread through internet circles as some paranormal myth.

YIIK incorporates this as a huge part of its starting plot.

Semi “Sammy” Pak is very clearly inspired by Elisa Lam. The two bear striking resemblance to one another, being young Asian women in their early twenties with straight black hair (even parted in the same place)--and this photo from the LA Times shows that Lam wore rounded glasses, like the ones Sammy wears. (Lam is Chinese-Canadian, while Sammy is stated to be Koren-American. Sammy is also 23 when Lam was 21.)

This photoset from JamJamJamJamuel shows the biggest criticism of YIIK: the recreation of the elevator video. It’s obvious by the angle and some of Sammy’s movements that this was, in fact, meant to emulate the elevator video of Lam. The game also shows that people are less concerned about Sammy as a person and more about the mystery of the elevator, like the internet stopped caring about Lam as a person and more of a supernatural myth.

However, there’s more than just this.

There’s a weird... almost fetishistic nature when the in-game protagonist talks about Sammy. Alex describes his meeting with her as “intimate” (they met for like. an hour), calls her “my Sammy” when comparing his story to the story of the news, says that he “misse[s] her. I didn’t know her really, but I felt like I did.” And the very next line is uh. “In the unreal twilight hours, in-between sleep and waking, she slipped into my dreams, got tangled in my thoughts, like the blankets tangled between my legs, her brain melting with mine.”

... Gross, to say the least.

And yes, by the way, Sammy basically becomes a love interest. That’s not completely disrespectful and disgusting to the actual human woman that the devs never met or anything at aaaaaaaall.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE.

Rory basically goes on to describe a “creepy urban myth” about the water tower near his town. You can imagine what that leads to. It’s a beat-by-beat retelling of the finding of Elisa Lam’s body, except they make it a “nameless girl,” and the writers basically insert their opinions of how it was definitely a murder and the police called it an accident.

More tasteless than a fucking saltine.

OH BUT WAIT THERE’S EVEN MORE.

Near the end of the game, you find the ghost of Sammy Pak. Since she’s not a part of Essentia, it seems that Essentia used her form to get to Alex. She says that she’s sorry and that she’s going to go back ‘home’ now, and you hug her.

But that’s not even the worst of it.

Allow me to tell you about the second ending.

Second Ending:

YIIK has more than one ending--both are considered canon. Ending 1 is the one described above.

Ending 2, however...

Just before leaving the house for the last time, in order to get this second ending, you have to look at the computer in Alex’s house and read this post. It implies that you need to go find Sammy. (It also has some things to say about postmodernism but that’s for another day.)

You go outside... and she’s hiding behind a tree outside your house. No I’m not kidding. (Granted, this is the part of the game where reality is beginning to break apart, so.) She also says “I love you” which, given her “inspiration” by Elisa Lam... yeah. That’s not creepy and tasteless at all. And it also doesn’t make any FUCKING SENSE BECAUSE ALEX KNEW HER FOR AN HOUR AND NEVER SAW HER AGAIN.

Okay, okay, anyway, if you go back into the house and leave through the back entrance, you’ll be taken to the world map. Your destination is the KNN--the Korean News Network, where Sammy had been employed before she vanished. The faceless NPCs only refer to Alex as the name you put in at the beginning of the game, so presumably, everyone from this point forward is now talking to you, the player. (Also everything is pink. Really pink. For no real reason unless it’s “””symbolic””” of something?) You wander around for a bit, doing menial tasks, until you finally get to a pink version of the room you first met Sammy in. She calls you on a phone and tells you that she’s sorry for dragging you into this mess (because Alex/the player went looking for Sammy in the first place), and that she “has a solution” to prevent Essentia from using Alex any more.

You find yourself in front of an elevator, the same elevator that you rode with Sammy when she disappeared. She calls you on the phone again and says that if you go through the elevator doors, there’s no turning back. If you step through, you see the spectre of Sammy again, and she wants to show you where she’s been. You hug her, and she says that she’s so glad that she met you, “even if it was just a game. We’ll be together in your waking reality one day, I’m sure of it. For all I know, we may already be.”

... Roll credits!

No. Seriously. That’s the second ending. You, the player, (presumably) go into the Soul Space with Sammy for eternity, and Sammy basically gives you a love confession (after all she says “I love you” before anyway).

Need I remind you all that she is based off of a REAL-LIFE WOMAN WHO DIED THAT NEITHER OF THE ALLANSONS KNEW?!

Hi, yes, sorry, I’m fucking livid about this. Not just because of the disgusting use of a real-life woman’s death in your game, not just because they fetishized her and turned her into a love interest, not just one of the endings--which is a canon ending--had her telling you she loves you and having you go off with her...

... but because this game has been in development since 2013.

Elisa Lam wasn’t even dead for a fucking year.

Yes, other media has cropped up about Lam’s death, and I think it’s just as tacky and tasteless as this. But these guys had so much time to change it, to have someone say “hey maybe you shouldn’t do that,” and it happened anyway. The sheer lack of respect that the Allansons have for not just Lam but also her still-grieving family is astonishing, and it genuinely makes me sick. My thoughts and condolences to the family of Elisa Lam, having to deal with the press, internet conspirators, and people like this. I hope that they all can still find some sense of peace, even with all of this going on.

Racism:

So this game can be really, really fucking racist sometimes. Let’s start with the more explicit dialogue.

In the very beginning, Sammy calls Alex a ginger, and he says “that’s our word.” He’s equating “ginger” to a derogatory slur.

Here’s the next instance, with Alex referring to Vella--an Asian woman--as “vaguely ethnic” and “exotic.” (He doesn’t face consequences for this, either. Just a slap on the wrist of “don’t talk about race.”)

Later on, Chondra talks about race in an actually not that bad rant about how “I bet if [my brother] had been a beautiful white woman, everyone would have cared that he vanished.” This actually is somewhat insightful, as... well, it’s rather true. POC, when it comes to investigations, are often pushed aside, ignored, or given the least amount of effort. And then Chondra also calls out Alex’s lowkey racist fantasy of “being the white knight swooping in and saving the exotic Korean girl.” However... that’s it. Alex doesn’t get any insight from that, or rethink his reasons on why he wants to save Sammy.

And that’s where we get into Claudio and Chondra and the more implicit racism in the game. Neither of them have much in terms of personality--Claudio likes anime, Chondra is there for quips. Neither of them have any significant arcs, nor do they serve much story purpose beyond being extra party members and talking about race--which feels racist in and of itself, just to have characters of color there to talk about race. (Claudio even goes into an extensive rant about how it’d be racist to think that he knows how to pick locks, but he does know how to pick locks, just not the type that they need open. It comes out of nowhere, is utterly unwarranted, and is completely against the rather chill persona that Claudio has had up until then.) Their characters had a lot of potential to be good! However, much like every other character, they’re very underdeveloped.

(Also, if you have either Claudio or Chondra in your party when you get attacked by cop enemies, they will only shoot at either of them, you know, the only black characters in the main party, and my god I wish I was kidding.)

And then... the love interests.

Sammy is a Korean woman. Vella is an Asian woman of unknown descent. The Essentia 2000 has shown that many of her parallel lives are women of color. All of them are love interests for Alex, the white hero. Yeah. And the game calls it out, but no actual repercussions are given!

Speaking of these ladies...

Sexism

This game is really fucking sexist. Like, genuinely, it’s really sexist.

I think a lot of Vella’s contradictory character comes from this sexism and seeing her as a love interest rather than a character. Though she calls out Alex and is upset with him most of the time, she still accepts his weak apologies very easily--apologies that seem very manipulative and insincere when almost immediately after, Alex tries to convince her to let him into her Mind Dungeon, and if you take that as a metaphor than it gets even worse.

As well, Vella’s backstory includes her being used by a much-older man. What can you do after she tells this traumatic story about her being used by a man? Kiss her. And she doesn’t even get upset or angry with you; she just blushes and says to head back to the others. Because that’s not gross and manipulative or anything. That’s not taking advantage of a vulnerable woman at ALL.

The only female characters of importance that aren’t lusting after Alex are his mom and Chondra--I’ve already mentioned that Chondra has little story importance and personality, and Alex sees his mom as nagging for asking him to get groceries, gets angry at her when she says that she lost her job and asks him to get one to support the house (please note that she paid for his and his sister’s college educations in full, including semesters she didn’t plan for), and gets annoyed with her freaking out when he went missing for five days.

So yeah. The game doesn’t have the highest view of women.

But let’s talk specifically about Essentia. Essentia mentions that Alex has hurt her in parallel realities--but it’s okay, because they’re parallel versions, not actually him! And Essentia reveals that Alex’s parallel was the person who hurt Vella! But it’s okay, because she’ll love him unconditionally no matter how much he hurts her. It’s... really reminiscent of domestic abuse. And it frankly doesn’t matter that Essentia turns out to be a part of Alex and that any of the story of Vella or Sammy isn’t true; the game frames it as perfectly okay that it might have happened. It’s okay that parallel versions of Alex have hurt parallel versions of Essentia, because she loves him. It’s incredibly twisted, and it’s honestly a dangerous message to be sending.

(Also, in a very weird instance of sexism against men, out of all of the parallel selves that Essentia shows Alex, the only man is extremely hostile and violent towards Alex. It’s... kind of weird, honestly.)

Depression/Suicide:

Oh boy. Oh fucking boy.

A little background on myself.

I’m two years into my undergrad for a Psychology/Criminology double major. Classes I have taken include classes about pathologies of the mind and mental health (Psychopathology of Childhood, Developmental Psychology, Personality Psychology, Seminar on Positive Psychology, and of course Basic Psychology to be specific). I have also been clinically diagnosed with anxiety/depression, and both of these are genetically based, meaning that I have lived with them my whole life and will continue to live with them. (I am medicated, for anyone wondering. The meds are the only way I can function at a normal level.) I have felt suicidal before, I have had friends who have been suicidal before, and I have talked others down from self-harm or suicide. I’m not an expert, but I know a thing or two about mental health, depression, and suicide.

This game... this game doesn’t fucking get it at all.

(Just a quick thing: the game makes an OCD joke. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder jokes aren’t funny, folks, since people who have it are affected by it all the time to the point of it often being debilitating. Just wanted to mention it a) to give you an idea on how the game handles mental health and b) because it really doesn’t fit anywhere else.)

Most of this surrounds the character of Rory, as he clearly suffers from depression and suicidal thoughts, as well as feeling grief surrounding his sister’s own suicide. When this is revealed, you know what Vella says to “comfort” him? “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. I understand what you were feeling. 'This depression is unbearable.' 'I can't take it anymore.' The 'depression/pain' part is an unavoidable reality, but whether or not you can overcome it is up to you. You decide if you're going to keep going. Your sister is dead. Nothing can change that. [...] You can't help but feel the pain, but you can get through the suffering. That will go away. Look, I understand that it's easy for me to say. I'm not the one whose sister is dead. But you have to understand that I am telling you the true reality of the situation. You're playing with some otherworldly dangers here!“

Let me break this down to show you why this is not something to say to someone who is traumatized and in a deep depression due to the loss of a loved one.

“[W]hether or not you can overcome it is up to you.” This puts full responsibility of overcoming grief and depression onto the person suffering from it, which is not okay, and not true. Rory lost his 12-year-old sister to suicide! Very recently in the game’s timeline, as well!

Vella is basically telling him “it’s your job to get over your grief and depression.” Putting full responsibility on someone for feeling depression and grief is disgusting. If someone is grieving, what they should do is reach out. If they aren’t, reach out to them. Don’t let them suffer alone. Suffering like this is not a choice. People don’t choose to suffer.

By saying that suffering is “optional,” it subtly blames the person suffering for their own suffering, which makes their chances of getting better plummet. So frequently will people suffering from mental disorders put the blame on themselves for “not trying hard enough” or “being broken” or “not being good enough” because they think that this is all their own fault, and they won’t seek help, because “it’s all my fault.”

Now, when someone is in recovery? Yes, they should definitely try--even if it’s in small bits at a time--to to learn to cope with their disorders in healthy ways. However, when in recovery, the person is assisted by therapists, friends, family, and possibly medications. They aren’t alone. They aren’t alone, and are often guided by those who know how to help them and want to help them. The responsibility isn’t pushed solely onto them. One doesn’t “get over” being depressed. They learn to cope. They learn to accept it as a part of them, rather than all of them, and learn that they are more than their depression. The suffering never truly goes away; it can lessen, though, and a person can learn to live with it.

Some people may defend this by saying that the Allansons lost their mother very recently, and this is how they handle their grief. I lost my father in February of last year. I know this type of grief. And just because that’s how they handle their grief, that doesn’t mean it’s a healthy way of coping, nor the type of coping mechanism you should promote in your game. (I will admit that my own methods of coping weren’t great, and that I’m trying to improve on that now.) There’s a quote that I heard somewhere that goes something like, “grief never really goes away. We just learn to live with it.” That suffering doesn’t ‘go away.’ It ebbs and flows, some days being bearable, and other days not.

But that’s not the end, friends. Oh, far from it.

At one point, you can flat-out tell Rory to “stop being depressed. Being depressed is a choice.” It is noted to be the “wrong” choice, however, Rory barely reacts to it, making it not seem like the wrong decision. I don’t feel like I need to explain why “depression is a choice” is a take colder than the depths of space. Depression’s not a choice, folks. Hell, I would love it if it was, I would love to stop the fatigue, the emptiness, the lethargy, the lack of motivation, the irritability, the messed-up appetite, the fucked-up sleep patterns, the fits of crying. That would be fucking great. But I can’t. BECAUSE IT’S NOT A CHOICE, YOU WALNUT.

Okay, okay, sorry, back on topic. So let’s say you’re mean to Rory. You wanna know what happens?

He kills himself. And according to this user, the story doesn’t change and barely acknowledges Rory after his death. (Obviously there’s not footage out there of the characters mentioning that Rory committed suicide. However, the developers themselves commented on the previously-linked Steam forum post confirming its legitimacy. This is so unbelievably fucked up. Suicide is already a topic that should be handled with care, but having a main character commit suicide and have that death have no impact on the story? I don’t even have words for how deplorable that is. (Doesn’t help that the game basically pushes whether Rory lives or dies onto the player, which is also disgusting, because I don’t think the developers had the insight into suicidal ideation to know that it’s a multitude of factors that lead to suicide, and not just one person being )

(Sidenote: here are the links to the National Suicide Prevention Line and the Crisis Text Line in case anyone needs them. Please take care, friends. <3)

[Addendum: as I was working on this review and listened to the podcast linked a little further down, Andrew Allanson had this to say at 2:08:47: "When you make an unlikable character, people expect Sherlock Holmes or Dr. House. They want flawed heroes, but only to the extent that they’re beautiful and intelligent and slightly Asperger-y."

Thank you for basically saying that having Asperger’s Syndrome is an unlikable trait or makes people unlikable.]

Anti-LGBTQ+

So let’s talk about the prejudice against non-straight and non-cis people!

Andrew Allanson has been rather fucking clear about his prejudice against trans people and non-straight people. In the “The Dick Show” podcast, starting at 1:45:45, Andrew Allanson was interviewed by the commentators. I will be providing timestamps of quotes since I can’t directly link to them.

(Sidenote: I was listening to this podcast and waiting for Andrew’s pa rt to start, and one of the commentators was talking about Women’s History Month, and saying “If a woman doesn’t have a man, she’s going to expect the government to be her man. That’s just the way they’re wired.” [1:44:24 - 1:44:31]. Yeah. That tells you the type of people who run this podcast and the type of people that Andrew decides to associate himself with.)

[1:52:15 - 1:52:] “... we made the mistake of asking the player, ‘what name did your parents give you?’ And it turns out that that is a very offensive question. Because some people, um, are trans, and don’t use the name their parents gave them. So immediately the game is targeted as being transphobic. [...] So we wanted to basically create a character off of the player in the game, the first thing we ask you ‘are you a boy or a girl,’ ‘what’s your name’, and people were so bent out of shape over this. Look, I’m sympathetic to trans people, I understand why it upset them. But the problem was when we apologized, that wasn’t good enough. People then took it and said ‘what else can we find in this game to prove that it’s offensive?’”

So here’s the thing: that... is lowkey transphobic? Because it’s like you said, these people don’t use the names that their parents gave them. You’re asking them, intentionally or not, to deadname themselves. There’s a reason they call it a “deadname.”

Later on they ask, “which of these do you identify with?” and show a male figure and a female figure. Which frankly, is alright.

And then they changed it in an update to “what do you look like?” which feels like a very direct jab at trans people, especially the ones who were upset by the initial question relating to names.

Oh, and then there’s this part (I only know DIck and Andrew’s voices, I’m afraid I don’t know the third, sorry m8).

[1:54:35 - 1:55:10]

Andrew: So you play as this guy, Alex, you just come home from [college, audio cut out here], you’re an entitled asshole--

Dick: You get points for stomping queers, as I understand it, that’s the game, right? You go around and--

Andrew: The goal is to establish the white ethnostate.

[unintelligible as others laugh and talk over each other]

Dick: --you have a little ‘gaydar’ in the corner and it points you to the nearest homosexual, and then you go, y‘know, “Hammer [X]”

Andrew: It’s - it’s - yeah, it’s a hack-and-slash.

Dick: If you buy the game they send you a special overlay you can put on your controller that turns all the buttons into ‘K.’ So it’s not ‘A’--

Andrew: Yes!

Dick: --Just ‘K,’ ‘K,’ and ‘K.’

Andrew: Just ‘K,’ ‘K’--yeah, exactly, exactly.

So we not only have the mockery of gay folk, but also mention of murdering them (whether in a joking fashion or not, this still isn’t fucking funny and not something to joke about, especially if you are not LGBTQ+ yourself. And to my knowledge, none of these men are).

And that’s just from the creator himself, as well as the first few minutes of the game.

Let’s talk bout The Scene.

What is The Scene? Well, it’s the scene where Alex and Rory talk, where you can tell Rory that “depression is a choice.” Should you be kind and supportive to him, you know what you can do? “Try to kiss [him.]” And there’s art for it. There is literally no reason for this to be here other than “haha it’s a guy trying to kiss another guy, gay people are funny!” It seems to be an attempt at humor, but it fails... rather miserably.

The Legendary Third Ending

I call it “legendary” because no one knows if it actually exists or not, because people can’t find it, regardless of the hints given by the developers.

Andrew, while doing “The Dick Show” interview, mentions that he put DIck Masterson (the host of the show) into the game in the third update [1:45:56] , and that you have to give Dick a pair of aviator glasses, where he will give you a red pill [1:47:15 - 1:47:33]. Dick is also found in Chapter 4 of the game [1:47:40].

The devs also tease it on Twitter, saying that it’s “sad and challenging to complete”, and they give vague and unclear hints that don’t seem to help even the fans of the game--after all, no one has found it, apparently. Even the YIIK Discord (though this is just hearsay) has been losing steam in trying to find this ending.

I think it’s a testament to the quality of the game when one of your major three endings is nigh-impossible to find. (For the record, I feel the same way about how PT went about its ending, and how arbitrary it felt to do these very specific things that the game barely tells you about.)

Miscellaneous Other Things That Don’t Fit In The Above

There are a couple other things that irk me about this game, so time for a rapid-fire round!

You can kiss Rory, who’s implied to be a senior in high school (due to this talk of college). So he’s, at best, 18. Alex had 5 and a half years of college (the game says “five and a quarter” but unless I’m mistaken colleges work in semesters not quarters,), so he’s probably 23-24. Yeah. (There’s also the issue of consent--when you kiss Vella she just blushes and acts more docile, while with Rory, he rather vehemently rejects it. So women just accept an unwanted kiss? Hm.)

You fight a flasher as a miniboss. Because sexual harassment is hilarious. (And if neither Michael nor Rory are 18 yet, then there’s the possibility of minors being involved. YEAH.)

The title card is intentionally glitchy af and it hurts the eyes, honestly.

If you go through New Game+ and go to the 70th floor of the Mind Dungeon, Alex will basically talk to himself about some things:

It mentions that “crows are ugly.” You fool. You absolute buffoon. Crows? Excellent. Very intelligent birbs.

This is basically “hey we suck, but so does everyone around us, it’s fine”

This game unironically uses Wonderwall lyrics in an emotional scene, like I know it was popular and not a meme in the 90s but my guy, you gotta think about the connotations with the audience you’re releasing this for,

“I sighed as the elevator began to shake, vibrating with motion.” Thank you for using three words to describe the elevator shaking,

The One Thing That I Liked

Surprisingly, there is something I liked about this game. Not solely in concept, not in its potential, but in its actual execution.

It starts on the day of New Years’ Eve. It’s dark outside and inside. Alex suddenly starts getting many random calls, some from people he knows, others he doesn’t. Some voices are distorted, some aren’t. Some are talking to him, some aren’t. And they’re quick little calls before they hang up, and Alex barely says a word. He can’t leave the house, and keeps getting phone calls that get more and more distorted as time goes on.

That? I think that actually really works.

It’s a more subtle way of showing reality breaking: getting calls from people, both friends and strangers, that are slowly getting more and more broken, and you can’t do anything. You’re trapped in your house, you can’t see outside, you don’t know what’s going on. You can’t help your friends, even when Michael screams for your help. The slowly deteriorating stability of the calls are your only indication of what’s going on outside.

And for me, that works. It was the one section of the game that I felt legitimately invested in. So, kudos to the devs for that one.

Conclusion

YIIK isn’t just bad. It’s offensive. It’s ignorant, it handles serious topics incredibly clumsily, and the worst of it is that Andrew Allanson considers it to be ‘art.’ (If you’re wondering why I didn’t talk about the “video games aren’t art” quote, don’t worry. That’s going to be its own essay.)

YIIK fails on every level, from technical to storytelling. Please, I beg of you, don’t give this game money. Just go watch the LP.

You may have noticed that I didn’t talk much about the “postmodern” aspect of the game, nor much about Alex as a protagonist.

Both of those are going to be their own separate essays.

This wild ride still ain’t over, folks. Hang on.

#yiik a postmodern rpg #yiik: a postmodern rpg #yiik #andrew allanson #yeehaw #holy shit this one is SO LONG but im so proud of it

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