#Shouting into the void so I can get it out of my head for five minutes. Apologies.
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went to see the geneticist about that whole cancer thing today so. I’m gonna put a read more, because I tend to ramble, and then I’m gonna fucking shout into the void because American Healthcare would prefer if you’d be so kind as to just shut up and die quickly, please.
Sixty minutes. Sixty minutes I spent with this woman carefully explaining to me how this test would work and why she thinks I should do it. forty of those minutes she said things like,
“your family history is… a lot,”
“Family is only ten percent of the equation so don’t panic too much,”
“But your risk is still probably somewhere around 30% and if this test is postitive that bumps right up to EIGHTY—,”
(Insert in-depth but understandable explanation of genes and terms I only half remember now but was fascinating at the time tbh)
I loved her, she was fantastic. And then. And then.
She put down all her files and folded her hands on the table. This woman went from sweet and professional and kind right to the type of bone-deep sorrow that’s got nowhere to go so it builds.
“First, I need you to know that I believe in what we do here. It sounds like this test would alleviate a lot of your concerns, no matter what the results. I do feel that you should get this screening done, for yourself and your kids. However.”
And she stopped, and took a deep breath.
“The good news is, we’ve passed a law so that a positive test cannot influence your health insurance in anyway. We’re not even required to give them your results. The problem with that, is the law comes with loopholes. If you come back positive, we are legally required to give that information to certain places upon being asked. And if you do not have these programs already in place, it will be very difficult to get them after a positive, because a positive is considered a pre-existing condition. Life insurance companies. Disability. If you ever need long-term or in-home care. These places will look at that positive and, at the very least, raise your potential rates.”
“So,” I said, like an idiot who should’ve known better but was too busy focusing on how this test meant I’d finally fucking know just how worried I should be, “You’re saying that this test, which is preventative care, would make it impossible to get the programs I’d need, if and when I actually get sick.”
“They don’t see you as a person,” she answers. She sounds so fucking tired. She’s said this so often the words have carved grooves into her mouth. They probably don’t hurt anymore, but she looks like she wishes they would. “They’re a business first and only.”
“I’m aware of how capitalism works, yes. I’d apparently forgotten how much it would prefer I die without inconveniencing the system supposedly designed to help me.” Then I apologize for allowing the angry millennial in me control of my tongue.
She just shakes her head. “Honey. I’m right there with you.”
I don’t know what the right answer is here. I don’t HAVE life insurance. We can’t afford it. My partner gets his through the military, which means I’m only eligible if we get hitched. But if we do that, me and all three kids lose healthcare entirely.
Stars forbid something actually fucking happens to me.
“I can’t tell you the right answer here. All I can do is tell you what I’ve seen happen. There was a woman, not too long ago, who’s got a similar background to you. Small kids and all.”
The geneticist looks down at her hands. “I told her the same thing. She decided to go ahead despite not having these programs set up in advance.”
She puts both hands up, like she’s warding me off, but you and I already know how this ends. “I have to make sure you know, we did not anticipate a positive at all. At all. But she came back positive, and now she’s having a nightmare trying to set up some kind of life insurance to take care of her kids in case something does pop up.”
“You mean they’re turning her away, or asking for insane amounts of money, because they’d rather she die than help. Y’know. Like they’re supposed to. Because the healthcare part of this is caring for my health.”
“You’d think,” She said. I wonder how she sleeps, when she’s pulled so thin. How she can still go to work, when she knows exactly the potential, the help she’s offering, and how the system itself snatches it away from her over and over and over again.
I left with her card in my pocket, and the promise that they’ll get me in for that screening if I call for one. Now, a year, ten years. They’ll get me in.
So. Do I fuck myself over now, or wait until the threat of cancer becomes a reality, and get fucked over then?
I started this angry. It’s probably pretty clear when that drained right out into tired. I’m so tired. I want to cry. This was meant to give us a better way forward. This was meant to answer questions, and let us know how worried we should be about our kids.
This is such a small thing. This is SUCH A SMALL THING. One test. 36 genes. So many cancers, the breast and the ovarian I’m terrified will come for me next, like so many other of my family’s stellar gifts. What is the point of this, if I’m going to end up punished so severely I might be denied actual care over it?
I think, really, what’s got me fucked up the most is that I should have seen this coming. I should have known better. I should not have been waiting to put down all that anxiety because I was so caught up in ‘I’ll KNOW.’
Fucking fuck.
The middle kid’s waiting to hear back on whether or not the insurance has decided he’s allowed to have fucking braces, and I thought I’d get to just know my risks of getting sick without there being a consequence.
Specialists are telling me I should be so very worried about my cancer risks.
Ten years to even see her. And I’m back at square one, with a pcp who’s going to look at me in a few months, sidestep all my questions and go, “I thought you were going to try and lose a few pounds? What happened to weight watchers?”
What happened is, I’m counting points and counting calories and counting fucking steps and not losing weight, because the body doesn’t work like that. I might be teetering on developing a fucking eating disorder instead, but that’s between me and myfitnesspal/weightwatchers. But also: my weight is not the fucking problem.
This was such a small thing. If I end up actually with the cancer everyone’s spent so long warning me about, what then? When it’s not such a small thing? What are the consequences for us then?
THIS WAS MEANT TO BE A SMALL THING. QUICK. EASY. I’m not even fucking sick! THIS WAS A PREVENTATIVE MEASURE.
American healthcare is violence.
If it’s like this and I’m not even sick, how fucking awful is it for people who ARE?
Vote blue down the ballot, in the hopes that some fucking day our healthcare will actually fucking care.
#Momma talks#momma rants#delete later#i needed to pour it out soomwhere so boom. Tumblr.#American healthcare#Went from violent to teary to exhausted in record time.#this was meant to be a small quick thing. A nothing even.#Shouting into the void so I can get it out of my head for five minutes. Apologies.
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in love with the mess - day two
summary : Aubrey is going on tour and, for once, she's decided to focus on having as much fun as possible. Oli can be a little shit but he does nothing short of adore Audrey and... well, maybe Noah a little, too. Noah likes the flirting, as long as no one gets too close, emotionally. But what will happen when the three of them take it too far?
content : fluff, flirting and some compromising positions
length : 3.6k
tags (let me know if you want to be tagged!) : @veronicaphoenix @cookiesupplier @lma1986 @jilliemiw86 @bngurngheart @lacktoesandtoddlerants @narcissisticbehavior81 @flowery-mess @shilohrosechicken @justeli6 @starvingarsyn @floatinglikeaswan @somebodyels3
a/n : the story is picking up the pace, I hope you enjoy this chapter!! as always, asks, reblogs and comments motivate me to write faster 🥰🥰
•••
day two
I didn’t know how many tours Oli had been on, but I had figured it would have been enough to expect him to be on time for bus call. I was wrong. Which is why I was currently kneeling on the floor of his hotel room trying desperately to stuff his belongings into his suitcase as he was in the bathroom getting dressed in a hurry. It wasn’t even a terribly long drive from Cardiff to Bournemouth but the last thing I wanted was to make room for any rumours that I was basically just a nepo kid being taken on tour by him instead of actually doing a job.
“Is there any rules to how you pack at all?” I shouted through the closed bathroom door, because, honestly, I couldn’t make out any. Everything was randomly put together, mixed in ways that didn’t make sense at all. How did he find anything in there? I was glad his show outfits were being transported separately because I was sure they would get lost in this void otherwise.
“Don’t question it so much, just chuck it all in.”
I ignored the door opening behind me, shuffling his shampoo into a different spot to make room for the pile of clothes that was still refusing to fit into the suitcase at all. I didn’t mind going through his belongings - he kept his dirty clothes in a separate bag, luckily - but I didn’t expect to find what I did, either. The condoms weren’t that much of a surprise. He was single, after all, and I figured it was better he was prepared for any potential plans to come along than to be stuck without them. The whip was more unexpected.
“Please tell me this is for a photo shoot,” I said as I held the black leather in the air, a sturdy handle with soft tassels at the end. Oli appeared in a heartbeat, standing next to me, not half as embarrassed as I was.
I was still staring at the offending item, when I felt his hand on my chin, slowly turning my head toward him. My eyes wandered from the grey sweatpants, ignoring that I was perfectly level with his crotch, moving upwards to his bare chest. Why had he still not put on a shirt? We needed to leave, like, five minutes ago, and he was half undressed. Half undressed and half-
I wasn’t sure if I imagined the twitch in his sweatpants. I wouldn’t blame him if it was real. I was in a more than compromising position, on my knees in front of him, perfectly obediently allowing him to move my head however he desired, looking up at him with what I could only hope wasn’t pure lust.
“Do you want them be for a photo shoot?”
I choked so hard that the brutal cough immediately destroyed any idea of whatever dirty ideas were hanging in the air. Oli crouched down next to me, his demeanour completely changed as he patted my back, waiting for me to get my breath back.
“Sorry about that,” he said but he did sound highly amused. “It is for a photo shoot.”
Letting go of me, he picked up a shirt from the open suitcase to put it on, before grabbing the whip from my hands and stuffing it in, along with the clothing still left out on the floor. He did it much more graciously than I had been attempting to, finally shutting the case and getting up. He lent me a hand to pull me up along with him.
“I might try it on Noah beforehand though,” he commented. “He seems like he could be awfully submissive when he allows himself to.”
And just like that, I was lost in another coughing fit.
•••
“So, how come Oli got a rundown on your thoughts on the show last night and I didn’t?”
I hadn’t seen Noah coming, completely distracted by the fact that, somehow, chaos had erupted about the planning of which tour bus belonged to which bands and crew, so his voice behind me almost made me jump. He was leaning against the bus I was currently standing next to - he seemed to be leaning an awful lot, really - and I wasn’t going to lie, he looked pretty awful. It seemed that the jet lag still hadn’t lessened. He looked as tired as ever.
“Well, to start with, I actually have his number,” I replied. Noah hesitated for a second, but when he pulled his phone out of his pocket, he only took a moment to pull up his contacts and thrust the device in my hand.
“Easily salvageable.”
Typing in my number, I noticed he hadn’t set a contact name yet. So I let my impulsive thoughts win and noted my name as Oli’s slut, quickly shutting down the phone and handing it back to him. I wondered how long it would take him to notice. Or rather, to find my contact. If he started at A for Aubrey, it might take a minute.
“At least I still got a compliment out of it,” he remarked. I was confused for a moment, before remembering I had most definitely sent Oli a note about Noah looking pretty good in his mask. Well. It wasn’t like I’d been lying.
“Stop hitting on my girl,” Oli’s voice boomed out of nowhere. Noah visibly flinched, as if he had actually gotten caught doing something he shouldn’t, then Oli approached and deftly smacked Noah’s butt. It caused another flinch and - a slight blush on his face? “Nah, I’m just kidding, mate, make your move.”
“I wasn’t-”
“Don’t indulge him,” I advised as Oli continued walking past us, landing another slap but this time on my own arse. I was almost proud that it didn’t take me by surprise. I knew Oli well enough to have seen it coming. As soon as he was out of earshot I turned back to Noah, who still seemed adorably flustered. It was a gorgeous look on him, I decided, all shy in that massive build, tall and broad. “He likes to rile people up. If you show him that it works, it’ll only get worse.”
“I’m not sure if I can stop it,” he mumbled, a hand going to the back of his neck, awkwardly scratching at the skin there. My own hand reached out, briefly touching his biceps. It was meant as a reassuring gesture, but even through the hoodie he was wearing, I could easily feel his muscles underneath. It took all my self control not to reach out and grab onto it again.
“In that case, you have another two weeks of fun with that one ahead of you, big boy.”
“You’re not helping either,” he admitted, the blush deepening a little. Or was I imagining it in the morning light?
“Want me to stop?” I asked, in a teasing manner, but I was deadly serious if push came to shove. The last thing I wanted to do was make Noah uncomfortable with my… advances, or whatever my behaviour could be classified as. Even if staying away would be painful.
But he simply looked at me, brown eyes so kind and enticing that an earthquake couldn’t have torn me away from them. Then his hand was on my shoulder, a soft grip, his thumb ever so slightly running over my neck and my breath caught in my throat, right where he touched it. I swallowed, hard, and I knew he noticed. The smile on his face was telling enough.
“Don’t you dare.”
•••
I shouldn’t have been surprised at the level of comfort the tour busses would provide after seeing the hotel rooms management had put us all in, but I was still in silent awe as I walked down the aisle, up the stairs, and quickly chose the perfect bunk for myself. It seemed like an ideal hideaway for some privacy, even if we wouldn’t necessarily be sleeping here, minus the odd nap on the drive.
Bending down, I crawled halfway into the space to dump my bags with the most important stuff in a corner along with the pillow I took everywhere. I felt the presence behind me immediately, even though I hadn’t heard the footsteps coming up the stairs. He could be as quiet as he wanted, I’d still sense him, I realised.
“Don’t even think about it,” I warned, pulling my upper body back out of the bunk and turning to stand in front of Oli, who looked positively flabbergasted.
“How did you know I was gonna do anything?”
I shot him a look. “Oli, I’ve been around you for over ten years, I can see an assault coming by now.”
“Well, but you don’t know what kind of assault I had plan, do ya now?”
He had that glint in his eyes that told me he was bad, bad news, and yet I didn’t do anything but raise my eyebrows at him, a silent invitation to show me if only he dared. I wasn’t sure why I thought there would even be the smallest possibility he wouldn’t take me up on it.
Before my brain could catch up with what was happening, he had grabbed my hips, turned me around to face the bunks again, and pushed me against the hard wood which was awkwardly digging into my chest and legs, but that was the least of my worries. Protest words were already on my lips, but then his hands turned soft, carefully pushing the back of my shirt up, revealing skin and the tattoo I had there.
“That’s new,” he mumbled, fingertips running up and down my spine, so high he almost touched the clasp on my bra. Goosebumps followed his every move as I felt him study the ornamental design covering most of my back. “When did that happen?”
My mind was a mess. Pressed against the bunks and his hands on me, causing a fire that rapidly spread through my whole being, begging my body to keep still, not to arch into him, not to show him how much more I wanted, begging my mouth to keep the moans inside, I hardly found the words.
“My-” I coughed, trying to get my brain to work. “My ex hated tattoos. So- um, so I got this as soon- as soon as we broke up.”
It was pathetic really, how much I was struggling to form sentences and there was no way he couldn’t tell. Still, he took another moment to run his hands over me, then they were gone and I could almost feel the tension escaping my body when I felt his lips press against my back, right at the centre of the design, and I didn’t even try to hide the gasp. He didn’t let me enjoy the feeling for long, peeling down the fabric of my shirt again to cover me before letting go of me completely. I felt cold and whiny, in desperate need of taking a few breaths before turning around again.
We didn’t exchange any more words. My breathing was still going embarrassingly fast, unable to keep my cool under his stare once again. I was loosing control fast. Whatever Lia had said, and however much I wanted to take her advice to heart, there was a massive barrier in my brain that didn’t allow me to move past it. The tour had barely started. What if I fucked this up? Oli was a flirt, alright, and he constantly had his hands on people, but there was a terrifying anxiety festering inside of me that he didn’t mean anything by it, that I would cross an invisible line and that I would never be able to take it back.
I couldn’t tell how long we stood there for, looking at each other, contemplating our futures, but whatever could or could not have happened was interrupted by Matt stomping up the stairs and roughly pushing between us to get to the front of the top deck.
“No flirting at work! At least not where I can see it!”
He was quickly followed by Oli calling him a fucking wanker and threatening to beat him, at whatever game they were planning to load up on the Playstation or in real life, I didn’t know. I simply crawled back into my bunk, properly this time, and pulled the curtain shut.
•••
It took Noah about an hour to notice.
Noah
I’m starting to think you’re actually enjoying being someone’s slut
My heart started to race immediately, eyes glued to the message displayed on my phone screen. My fingers were itching to type something inappropriate back, an itch I probably wouldn’t be able to ignore.
It was strange how differently flirting with Noah was. An hour ago, I’d fallen into a pit of overthinking over Oli’s and my actions, but with Noah I was simply calculating how far I could take it. Maybe it was the fact that there wasn’t a decade-long friendship at stake. Maybe it was the knowledge he was from another fucking continent and I’d be able to avoid him much better if everything went to shit. The absolution he gave me earlier about continuing to flirt with him definitely helped. That, and the fact that he wasn’t my immediate boss and I did, kind of, need the money from this run.
Aubrey
You’d like that wouldn’t you?
I pictured him lying in his own bunk, the same way I was, perfectly able to preoccupy himself with whatever in the world he wanted, but instead thinking of me. Thinking of me being a slut, thinking of me potentially being with Oli right now, doing whatever Oli wanted me to. Thinking of what I would be doing for him too? The thought alone had me pressing my thighs together. It really had been too long since I’d gotten any sort of action and those two around me had me in a constant state of yearning and burning. If I hadn’t been in a tour bus with several people around me and in constant danger of one of them pulling the curtain to my bunk back to talk to me, I’d have let my hands wander a bit.
No answer from Noah. The self-doubt briefly crept up again in me, but remembering our conversation outside earlier, I swiftly decided to double down on my approach instead.
Aubrey
Or is it that you want to be one
This time, there was less hesitation in his reply.
Noah
Can’t a man have a little bit of both
My thighs clenched, a searing hot fire emerging between them as several images flooded my brain. Noah on his knees, looking up at me with wide eyes. Noah begging, pleading. Noah at my mercy. At Oli’s. Tied up and willing to let us treat him the way he deserved.
Aubrey
You can have anything you want, big boy
I’m sure Oli would agree too
What followed was the blurriest picture known to mankind. I desperately tried to make something out, anything at all, zooming in and out and changing the brightness on my phone, but it remained hurried lines and dark masses.
Noah
Sorry about that
Meant to send you a middle finger as a reply
But Jolly threw the curtain to my bunk back and scared the shit out of me
Aubrey
Can I still get the picture
You know, just to think about where else I’d like that finger
Noah obliged.
•••
It was 7.40 and Noah was missing. Bad Omens had exactly ten minutes to go on stage. And no one could find the lead singer.
The crew's group chat was exploding with messages, everyone was checking off locations they had been and not seen any trace of him. The rest of Bad Omens reassured us that they had tried both the tour bus and the hotel. His phone must have been blowing up with messages, but no reply. I had split up with several people, each of us taking a different direction and checking every room, corner, and nook for him. Not only was the whole situation highly problematic - the venue had a strict curfew and no one could afford a band going on late - but worry was starting to appear on everyone's minds. What if something had actually happened to him? If he was in trouble or injured? Apparently, he wasn't the type to go missing without a trace.
Rushing down a corridor in the arena that should technically be deserted because it was unused this evening, I opened door after door, looking through rooms and closets, trying desperately not to let the hectic feeling that lay in the air take over. I cracked open one more door, spying inside the small room that seemed to house nothing more than a shabby sofa and a couple of blankets or jackets stacked on one end - when I realised the pile of fabric was moving. Rhythmically. Like someone's breathing.
Two large steps brought me to the sofa. I wasn't gentle when I pulled the blankets away, but it didn't seem to faze Noah, who was curled up in a ball much smaller the should have been possible with his broad frame and continued to peacefully sleep. I shook him roughly. There was no time.
“Noah!”
Finally his eyes snapped open. He sat up immediately, rubbing his face with his hands. Apparently he had no problem realising he was in trouble.
“Fuck, what's the time?”
“7.45.”
“Shit, shit, shit,” he chanted as he stood up abruptly. He seemed to regret the sudden movement as he swayed a little with dizziness. “Fuck, I need to be on stage. Do you have anything sugary by any chance? I need to raise my blood sugar immediately or I'll probably faint and make a complete fool of myself out there.”
I hopelessly patted my pockets as if I didn't know for sure there was nothing in there. My eyes darted around the room to figure out some way to get him to wake up properly, a snack, a cold drink, anything at all, but it was pitifully bare. Looking back at Noah I knew he needed the pick-me-up desperately. So I did the only thing I could think of.
Looping my arms around his neck, I pulled Noah down to my height and before I could second-guess my actions, I put my lips on his. The sleepiness was wiped from his system entirely. In an instant, his hands were on me, on my back, in my hair, pulling me so close to his body that it knocked the breath out of me. I gasped, surprised at the intensity, Noah took the chance to slip his tongue into my open mouth.
I was a mess. I was breathless and burning and about ten seconds away from going completely limp in his arms and he kept kissing me. I wanted to keep tasting him forever, keep exploring him, feel his hands all over me. Noah pulled at my hair, angling my mouth further toward him and I moaned so pathetically I would have been embarrassed if it hadn't caused him to press into me until I could feel the beginning of a hard-on. My fingers clawed at the back of his skull, instincts fully taking over, as one of his hands deftly gripped my arse and all I wanted was to feel him closer, lead his touch underneath my clothes, let him give me whatever he was willing to let me have.
The phone ringing in my pocket brought an abrupt end to our pending escalation. With a groan, Noah separated himself from me, once again rubbing his face, but this time in frustration and not out of tiredness. I figured that was better, at least. Quickly answering my phone, I let the person at the other end know I'd found him and that we were on our way to stage.
“Two minutes,” I informed him, nodding toward the door. He quickly walked ahead, adjusting his clothes as he went.
“If anyone at all comments on the state of my pants, I'll redirect them to you,” he complained.
I didn't mind all that much.
•••
“What did you do to him?” Oil asked as we stood backstage, watching Bad Omens take the stage with only a minor delay.
“Nothing?” My voice sounded a little top defensive. “Found him napping backstage.”
“Is that why you're both completely red in the face, you liar?”
I watched Noah for a moment longer, suddenly quite glad he always performed Artificial Suicide in his mask, giving him some more time to calm down before he actually had to show his face.
“We did run here, you know.”
“Did he have his dick in you while you ran?”
I didn't hesitate in smacking the back of Oli’s head. I seldomly hesitated when it came to touching him in general, but giving him a well-deserved smack was satisfying it itself. It made me wonder how he'd react to a spanking. He rarely complained about me hitting him. I figured he'd look good on all fours, head handing low, ass red. I felt like Noah would appreciate it just as much.
“You're a fucking knobhead, Oli,” I groaned, turning away from him. “You go watch Bad Omens, I'll be the dressing room figuring out your schedule for the next days. You know, doing my job. Not fucking anyone.”
Even while walking away, I still heard Oli’s last sentence loud and clear.
“Think I can still change your contract to make fucking someone part of your job?”
I didn't dignify it with an answer. I was too afraid of turning around and letting him see the re-emerging blush on my cheeks.
#Noah Sebastian fic#Noah Sebastian#Oli Sykes fic#Oli Sykes#Noah Sebastian x reader#Oli Sykes x reader#in love with the mess
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I love your writing
Can you write about reader having a fight with the judgment day about something that happened like they were partying and some people couldn’t stop flirting with reader but they were feeling uncomfortable for example but reader was in the right but they wouldn’t believe them so that lead to a huge fight and reader feeling completely alone until someone realised they made a mistake and try to convince reader to take them back please?
thank you!
tainted trust // poly!judgment day x fem!reader
warnings: angst, yelling, insecure!jealous!judgment day, argument, language, etc
Readers POV
"You're pathetic, you know that?!" Rhea bellowed as soon as she slammed the front door shut. "You think you need to flirt with every man who gives you the slightest bit of attention! Are you that much of a whore? Huh?" Her aggression and anger were the most apparent out of the four of them.
Rhea's insults cut into me like knives. "I didn't flirt with him! I already told you that!" I defended. The Judgment Day and I had gone to a bar with some coworkers after the weekly show had ended and at some point throughout the night, the four gothic members had left my side for a few short moments. Enough time for some creep who had kept his eye on me to make a move.
*Back at the club
"Hey, beautiful! Let me buy you a drink!" The man shuffled toward me and attempted to grab my hand.
"No, thanks. I'm not interested." I tried to keep my voice blunt and void of emotions in hopes of turning the man away. As I took my eyes off of him to search for my partners in the crowd, his hands gripped my waist and pulled me into him. "Get off me!" My hands pushed at his chest until he released me.
"Relax, babe. I'm just having some fun!" He gave me a gross smile and ran his hand down my arm. I shoved his hand away and scanned the crowd in a panic. The four of them weren't hard to miss. Where could they be? "C'mon! Let's go dance!" The man forcefully grabbed me and pulled me along with him to the dance floor. He turned me around and tightly held my hips against him, preventing me from pushing away. As I worked on slapping his hands off of me, I noticed a tense energy surround us. I looked up to see the four members of the Judgment Day fuming with anger.
Damian shoved the man away from me while Rhea grabbed hold of my wrist and dragged me out to the car. The car ride back to the house was insanely tense and silent.
*Back at the house
"Bullshit! You weren't even doing anything about it! You just let him put his hands all over you!" Rhea shouted back.
"That's not true! Guys? You saw me trying to get away, right?!" I attempted to get backup from the boys, but to no avail, they looked equally unhappy.
Damian threw his keys and wallet down on a side table before looking over at me with a glare. "Don't try and act dumb. We all saw what you were doing." His tone gave it away that he wasn't on my side.
"But I wasn't doing anything! I was trying to get him off of me!" I was exasperated at this point.
"We won't tolerate lying, and we definitely won't tolerate cheating. Either admit what you were up to and explain yourself, or find somewhere else to stay tonight." Finn sighed in disappointment and crossed his arms, waiting for my response.
My jaw dropped at his ultimatum. "What? You can't be serious-"
"Dead serious. You heard the man. Make your choice." Rhea cut me off and seeped her words with poison. I looked at them all, trying to determine if they were being literal. They definitely were. I shook my head in frustration, snatched up my bag, and stormed out the front door. I don't know if Liv is back from the club yet, but I'll wait on her front porch until she is...
Liv had actually gotten home only five minutes before I arrived at her place, and she immediately brought me inside and had me tell her all about the drama that just ensued. To say she was angry was an understatement. She was completely dumbfounded at how they had treated me.
The feisty blonde sent a lengthy text message to the group members about how they were in the wrong, I would never do something like this, how blessed they are to have me, and then followed up with some threats if they didn't apologize. She insisted we have a fun sleepover to forget the fight, and I couldn't say no.
***next morning
A harsh pounding on the front door woke the both of us up and Liv hurried to go see who it was. I heard her mumbling before she quickly came back to me. "They're here." She gave me a look of reassurance and allowed me room to walk past her.
I took a deep breath before opening the front door.
"Hey. We need to talk." Rhea demanded and motioned for me to step outside. I obliged, closing the door behind me. She sighed and raked a hand through her dark hair. "Tell us the truth. Were you flirting with that guy?" She asked, her face wore an expectant expression.
"No! I told you guys that last night, but you didn't believe me!" I was quickly becoming defensive, ready to pick up the argument where it had left off.
"We believe you, honey. Liv sent us a long message and helped clear everything up." Damian stepped in. "We're sorry. You tried to tell us and we wouldn't listen to you. It's our fault." He apologized.
I took a moment to think to myself, contemplating how easily my forgiveness should be handed out. I mean, they kicked me out of the house without even letting me explain.
"So," Finn interrupted my thoughts. "Are we forgiven, love? You ready to come home?"
I let out a huff. "I'm not happy about the situation and how I was treated last night, but I'm content for now. I can't forgive you all so easily right now. My feelings are hurt and I don't really feel like everything's okay yet. I just think we still need to talk about it a bit more when we get home?" I looked around to gauge their expressions.
"Sounds fair to me." Dom smiled.
I grabbed my stuff from inside Liv's house and headed to the car. While Damian loaded my bag into the trunk, Rhea gazed at me in the rearview mirror.
"Baby..." Her eyes flicked away, instead turning her body to face me. "Are we gonna be okay?" She motioned between us and then to the boys outside of the car.
I nodded with a small smile. "We'll be okay, Mami. Promise." Seeing relief flash in her eyes, I quickly kissed her cheek. "Everything will be perfectly okay."
#the judgement day#rhea ripley#wwe#damian priest#dominik mysterio#finn balor#wwe superstars#fanfiction#rhea ripley x reader#dominik mysterio x reader#damian priest x reader#finn balor x reader#wwe x reader#poly!judgment day#judgment day angst#wwe angst#request
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The Morning of the New Year (01/01/2024)
happy new year guys!! wish the best for 2024 <33
New year new me, we always say. As the New Years symbolises the fresh start of a new year after a period of remembrance of the passing year, and every year, there’ll be fireworks showcased by the sea. The variety of colours painting the sky, red, blue, green, yellow… they were everywhere. The light blinding as they fly up to the sky and a big sound of ‘boom’ right after its release. While all of the audience were either watching such a spectacular sight at home on television, or at the pier in person. No matter where they were, the moment of countdown was always very, and I mean very overwhelming. People cheer and jump up when the countdown finally hits 1, celebrating the joy of the beginning of the year, and it influenced everyone. And it was like this every year.
This year, I don’t think the joy they’re giving off influenced me. I was at the pier, holding a cigarette and a can of beer, leaning on the bar near the pier. It was 1 AM, everyone has left after all the hype the countdown has given them. Just an hour ago, everyone was surrounding me and I felt like I couldn’t breathe, all that happiness and the feeling of bliss, I couldn’t relate to it at all. Cameras flashing and the shouting were too much for me to bear, I didn’t even know how I made it through all that noise. The quietness surrounding me right now is much better, the noise and the hype belongs to another world which does not include me. I breathe out a mouthful of smoke, feeling the right amount of tar, carbon monoxide and nicotine hitting my lungs beforehand as I let out a sigh of relief.
“TEN!” The crowd roared, with the announcer hyping them up.
“NINE!” More people joining this moment.
“EIGHT!” Even more people feeling the hype.
“SEVEN!” The announcer screamed, and they followed.
“SIX!” As if this was a moment to celebrate, they cheered.
“FIVE!” I puffed on my cigarette.
“FOUR!” They screamed with even more excitement.
“THREE!” The children joined in.
“TWO!” Everyone looked happy.
“ONE!” They look ready to jump up.
“HAPPY NEW YEAR!” I exhaled the smoke as everyone jump up, congratulating each other about this new year.
Then the fireworks began, as the vibrant colours burst across the night sky, illuminating the darkness with their radiant splendour, I stood amidst the crowd, watching the mesmerising firework display that welcomed the arrival of a new year.
As the fireworks soared higher and exploded in a symphony of light and sound, each dazzling moment seemed to accentuate my own feelings of sadness and loneliness. As the fireworks painted the sky with brilliant hues, tears welled up in my eyes, blending with the vibrant display. Each shimmering cascade seemed to echo the emotions swirling within them: the explosive bursts mirrored my suppressed pain, the fleeting beauty mirrored my fleeting moments of happiness, and the fading trails of light mirrored the fading hopes I carried.
As the final firework illuminated the sky, showering the world with a resplendent glow, everyone clapped. With a bittersweet smile, I turn around to leave the venue, only to find myself there again after everyone left.
“What is a pretty lady like you doing here?”
A man said, I did not even notice his presence until he was only a few inches away from me. I could feel his breath on my neck when he talked to me. The alcohol and the cigarette must’ve been getting to my head since I couldn’t make myself push him away. Was it because I had an empty void I needed to fill in my heart? Or was it just because I wanted someone to be with me?
I turned around to face him, he was gorgeous. Had the prettiest eyes you could ever imagine, ocean blue like they reflect all the emotion he’s feeling, I feel like I could look at them forever. His hair stood out so much too, white and smooth, like you can run his fingers through his hair all night when you lay down in bed with him. And his face, he was even more beautiful than Brad Pitt, and no one is prettier than him. Oh he’s so tall too… In just that instant, all the delusions that I have kept hidden in my head has come out just from this man. My cheeks flushed a pink hue, I didn’t even know if it was the alcohol or if it was how pretty he was.
“Uh… I’m just here to enjoy the midnight breeze.”
He looked at the cigarette between my index finger and my middle finger, and the can of beer in my other hand. “With a can of beer and a cigarette? I doubt that.” He laughed, then he continued, “Mind if I take a sip from your beer?”
I hand him the can, and he gladly takes it. He takes a generous sip from the can and gave it back to me. “Thanks, I needed that.” I smiled, and took a sip from the can too.
“So, why are you here? To enjoy the midnight breeze too?” I asked him, he chuckled.
He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he leaned on the bar that I was leaning on, just with his back facing the sea and looking up at the sky. As if I could suddenly feel the misery radiating off of him, it’s like he could cry any second if he stops laughing and pretending to be happy, I grabbed him into an embrace. I could feel his body jolt from the shock, I totally understand, since who’d willingly hug a stranger… But he slowly responded to my embrace and hugged me back. He choked a few sobs into my shoulders as I tried to comfort him amidst his intoxicating scent. He smells like candy and bubblegum, it does fit his bubbly character, making him seem mature but not that much.
“How’re you feeling?” I whisper to him, trying to make my voice appear as soft as possible. He looked into my eyes after standing up straight again, I noticed the red stains around his eyes though he was trying his best to keep his cheerful character. “Never better.” I put my forehead on his chest, and I smiled without him seeing. “I’m glad to hear that.”
In the moment, I feel as if ‘Lover’ by Taylor Swift was playing in the background. Our souls were connected suddenly, his warmth radiating as he took the beer from me and drank from it. We didn’t speak at all, the silence was really pleasant. In the midst of a chaotic world, it was like we were in a gentle refuge that embraces the weary soul, offering respite from the ceaseless clamour of daily life. In the arms of silence, he takes a puff from his newly lit cigarette after wrapping his arms around me. The companionship he brings me makes me feel comfortable, it felt like my mother embracing me at night, asking me to tell her what happened to me after I came home crying.
I stand up straight after leaning on him for as long as I remembered. I take a big puff on my cigarette, and exhale towards the sea though the breeze blew the smoke right back into my face. He does the same. “I was here because the world seems too much for me.” I look at him, and he continued while remaining a faint smile on his face, “Lost a real friend last year.” I could feel my heart drop when he told me that, I didn’t know what I would feel about that if I were in his shoes. I choked out, “What?” And he looked back at me as I stared at him attentively. “Yeah.”
I want to give him a big hug again, though it may be inappropriate since we just met an hour ago. The moon seems even brighter it was as if all our worries were lifted up and we were the only people still at the pier, “Can I hug you?” he asked softly. I eagerly jump into his embrace, giving him the biggest hug he can even get. Feeling his warmth against mine and hoping that he’s feeling comforted right now, we stay like that for a moment.
As soon as he let go of me, I tell him my situation too. “You know I think we might be on the same boat, I lost my mother just a while ago, cancer took her from me. Grew up without my dad because he left for another woman. My mom raised me and treated me like a princess. My dad didn’t even come to the funeral…” I puff on my cigarette as I feel his eyes on me, it felt like he was going to pull me into his arms to comfort me. But he didn’t. Instead he puffed on his cigarette, then he exhaled the smoke and started talking, “I think we’re meant to meet, I’m glad I came to talk to you. My friend, he was killed. In fact, I killed him. Job issues you know? He was a murderer, but before that he was a kind man. The best I ever knew…” He didn’t speak anymore, but the emotions radiating off of him was a lot, so it was only appropriate for me to let him be, and respect his right to have his moment of silence. Though I don’t know if it was sympathy that I was looking at him with, or if it was just that I can relate to him.
“So much happened this year, not only did I lose my mom, I lost the person I trust the most too,” I spoke among the silence, “My boyfriend died in a car crash, he was such a brilliant man. We met by the pier too, just like you and me right now.” I let out a chuckle, he continued to look at me, “We started dating in the middle of April. It was like we were destined to be as Spring symbolises the resurgence of life after the inevitable challenges of winter. It was like he’s that rising energy that helped me feel more optimistic and driven to make the most out of our days. We were happy most of the time. But then we got into an argument in October, I thought he had another woman over at his house so I threw a tantrum at him though he kept saying it was only his sister staying over because of her divorce. Didn’t trust him enough so I left. He drove to my house to apologise but then got into an accident, then he died.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I leaned on him again. He wiped the tears from my cheeks and pressed a soft kiss on my forehead, as if he was trying his best to make me feel the comfort my boyfriend gave me. Then he looked at his watch — 3AM. The breeze at the pier felt even cooler and stronger than before. “Shall I take you home?” He gestured towards me, “I drove here.”
I gave him a smile, “Yeah, thanks.”
He walked me over to his car after we left our cigarettes on the nearest bin. As I take the seat next to him, he holds my hand while he starts the car. “You know, I think we make a good match, we should be friends. I feel like I can tell you everything when I’m just in your presence. Is this what soulmates feel like?”
The whole destined thing didn’t go well with me, after all everything that had happened with my boyfriend is still affecting me. But I sat in silence while he chooses the song to lift our drunken spirits. “Is One Direction of your taste?” He breaks the silence. I nod right after I turn to his direction. The car smells like him, the scent intoxicating.
As soon as he starts driving, as if on purpose, One Direction starts blasting on the speakers he had in his car. The whole ‘lift up our spirits’ thing is starting to work as he drives on the highway. I grab on his hand tight, because I didn’t want to lose such a good friend to the road again. The boyfriend flashbacks are getting to be again, but the One Direction songs keep distracting me from it, well thank goodness it did. I use my other hand to grab my phone to show him my address. He just simply put my phone on the phone stand he had attached on the car and starts driving towards my house.
The car ride seemed so long, and the One Direction seemed to get to my head. The strong beats hitting the correct spots in my head, making me slowly vibe to the music. “Thanks for being here for me today.” He says, with his cheeky grin back and he rubbed circles on my hand with his thumb. “Thank you too.” I respond, leaning my head on the car seat. The city lights painted vibrant strokes across the canvas of the night, creating a backdrop of urban enchantment when they finally got off the highway. As we gazed out at the starry expanse above, his grasp on my hand was even tighter. And as the car glided through the night, slowly arriving at its destination — my house.
“We’re here.” He spoke after he paused the music. And hands me my phone after putting his number in. “Call me, please.”
I thank him, for the drive, and for the time that he has spent with me today.
“See you soon, Satoru Gojo.”
masterlist
#jujutsu kaisen#drabble#jjk#gojo satoru#gojo and you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x you#one direction#taylor swift#lovers#gojo angst#jjk gojo#gojo x reader#satoru gojo#gojou satoru x reader#new years#2024#yayyy#gojo#gojo x y/n#jujutsu gojo#gojo fluff#pls send help my delusions are paining me
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Chains On Me
● Pairing: Patrick Bateman x Innocent!Fem!Reader
● Summary: A sad story of how you became Mr. Bateman's property.
● Warnings: 18+/ NSFW │dark content, non-consensual touching, kidnapping, misogyny, human trafficking.
● Wordcount: 1.5k
● A/N: Let the dark adventure begin! Many thanks to my dear @lissasharp for the contribution she made into this fic! I hope you like it!💗
● Useful links: [Shadow Lady Masterlist] [Main Masterlist]
A creeping fear and anger pulsated inside your chest, almost forcing your heartbeat to reach the maximum–you could hear it bouncing against your ear membranes.
Stunned as if you were hit with a hammer, you opened your eyes to see nothing but darkness. Breathing heavily, you flinched when you felt someone touching your hand.
“Hey, hey, relax!” a female voice called to you, but you kept fighting back. “You’re safe…For now.”
For now? What the fuck did that mean? With one hand clapped to the side of your head, you whimpered in pain as your temples were pulsating like an alarm clock.
“W-where am I?” You mumbled, looking into the void, thinking you might be hallucinating.
“We don’t know-”
“They are gonna kill us!” When you heard another girl crying, your blood nearly froze in your veins.
“Stop panicking!”
“No! I know why we are here…”
Silently, you managed to lean against the wall behind you, trying to focus your vision on the girl, who was literally writhing in hysterics; her cracked voice was only increasing your terrible headache.
“Shush! I think I heard something-”
A sudden blinding light made you shut your eyes, but when you opened them later, you were speechless. Beside you, there were at least five women, they looked as scared as you, but probably less stunned.
The light was caused by a door opening in the dark room. A woman stepped through the door holding a bag. She looked very prim and had steel blue eyes, sharp enough to cut through glass. You guessed she was the reason you were here.
"What is this place?" A girl beside you asked, sounding angry.
"Why are we here?"
"Who are you?"
The girls were shouting over each other trying to get information. The questions made your head hurt.
“Calm down, ladies,” her stern tone sent shivers down your spine. “Our potential customer will arrive soon, so I recommend that you freshen yourselves up.”
Everyone here, including you, was sitting in shock, as it was hard to believe what you just heard. Emotionlessly, the unknown woman threw her bag on the ground, looking attentively over all of you one by one.
“You have one hour, so you better hurry.”
And then, she disappeared as abruptly as she appeared, leaving you completely lost and dejected. Irresolutely, one of the girls crawled to the bag to check what was hidden inside. First, you heard the unzipping sound and then she blurted out:
“This is-”
“What?” You almost jumped in your place from your own voice.
“Some stuff for self-care… Hairbrushes, makeup…”
To be fair, you didn’t know how to react or what you were supposed to do. You sat there contemplating and finally crawled over the bag. The girl was right. There was makeup, hairbrushes, lingerie… and collars. Collars with names on them, and it looked like one belonged to you.
Wordlessly, you and the girls pulled the items out of the bag and got yourselves ready. Ready for what? You didn't know.
An hour later all of you were ready.
Now, you were sitting in dread waiting for something to happen. It was too loud and too quiet all at once. Some girls were crying, and some were sitting with a blank expression. Finally, the door opened.
This time the woman wasn't alone. She had someone accompanying her… a man. The first thing you noticed about him-his insanely beautiful appearance. He had an angular face, a strong, lean body, and hair that was a mix between blonde and brown. The second thing you noticed about him was how dangerous he seemed.
“Get up, ladies!” she clapped her hands, hurrying you up. “Stay in line, so Mr. Bateman can have a proper look at you.”
Touching a leather collar, you took a place between two blondes, whose hands were shaking erratically, hitting you from both sides all the time.
“Are these the only girls you brought?” The man asked, roaming across the room as he came closer to the first girl in the line.
“Unfortunately, yes. Only these fit your requirements.”
“I see,” unconcerned, Bateman grabbed the girl by her chin, she sobbed right away. “How much do you want for her?”
“Ten thousand,” the woman replied cynically, walking back and forth on the opposite side of the room. “Good choice, but we’re not in a hurry, Mr. Bateman. You can check out all the ladies.”
“Just wanted to know the local prices,” he let the poor girl go, scowling a bit in disgust. “I really like this one… But alas, her nose is so ugly.”
All this time, you were trying to suppress an unendurable urge to vomit from how disgusting this man was, treating all of you as if you were chunks of meat. With no second thoughts, you looked at him with sheer scorn when he was examining the girl next to you and he accidentally glanced at you. His hazel eyes pierced through your body like a fan of knives, slicing you from the inside. To your great surprise, you didn’t break the visual contact, watching how harshly he squeezed the blonde’s jaw, as you seemed to make him angry.
“This bitch has a pretty face, but no tits at all,” he turned to the girl beside you. Her fear was almost tangible. “What a waste!”
Finally he got to you.
Once Bateman tried to touch your face, you instinctively flinched away, almost pushing everyone near you in different directions.
“Hey, you! Calm down immediately!” the blue-eyed woman shouted at you from behind his back. “I’m sorry, Mr. Bateman.”
“It’s okay,” he suddenly smirked, staring at you from above with unhidden dominance. How pathetic. “I’ll come back to this untamed kitty later-”
“Take me!” slightly shocked, everyone looked at a red-headed girl, the last in the line. “You can take me, sir…”
Humming out loud, Bateman strolled away from you to reach the girl, whose eyes were literally eating him alive. “Why should I?” He rejoined with interest.
“I… I don’t want to stay here any longer, please!” She whimpered, and you were about to close your ears as you couldn’t hear this miserable bullshit anymore.
Chuckling, he pressed a finger to her lips, outlining their shape and in return, she gave it a small lick, showing her actual submission. Almost all girls were watching this nasty game as if spellbound, and you were the only one who turned away, praying that soon this nightmare would be over.
“You want me to choose you, only because you don’t want to be left here?”
“No! Not only because of that…You…You are so…”
“‘So’ what? Rich?” He almost laughed, actually mocking the girl.
“And handsome…” She bit her lower lip, paying no attention to all hateful stares she was getting right now.
“You seem really sweet,” he crooned, petting her cheek, but then he moved away from her, causing a loud gasp to erupt from her chest. “But sadly, I already made my choice.”
Right away, everyone started to look at each other in panic.
Smugly, Bateman walked across the room on a short distance from all of you when he unexpectedly made a step towards you and before you knew, he was already holding you by your neck.
“How many does she cost?”
After small coughing, the ‘boss lady’-how you called her in your mind, responded: “Twenty-five thousand, sir.”
A small hint of surprise ran through his face from hearing that. “Mm-mhm, and what’s so special about her?” He asked without looking at the blue-eyed woman as his gaze was fully focused on you.
After a few seconds of searching for something in her notebook, she added: “Well, she’s a virgin,” a sudden pause forced you to close your eyes from weird embarrassment. “And she’s absolutely clean and healthy.”
“Interesting,” he murmured very close to your ear, as he was twisting your head to watch you from all sides. “I’m taking her, but before that I want to inspect her body for any flaws and check the documents to make sure she’s really a virgin.”
With these words, he squeezed your cheeks, and then finally released you, returning your ability to breathe.
“Of course, Mr. Bateman! You can wait in the room we were talking before,” she glanced at you unkindly. “We will join you briefly.”
Bateman nodded, looking over the girls for the last time and sending the red-head an air kiss before he exited the room.
“I’m so sorry!” The blonde whispered, grabbing your hand.
Shocked, you didn’t even realize what just happened… Not yet.
“(Y/N!) Come on, we need to go!” The boss lady stated as she was already standing in the doorway.
Slowly, you made your way to the door, feeling your heart racing inside your thorax, attempting to break through it. Before leaving, you turned around to see the ladies, whose future destinies were uncertain, and say, barely audible: “Goodbye.”
#american psycho#patrick bateman x reader#patrick bateman imagine#patrick bateman#patrick bateman x female reader#patrick bateman x you#slasher x reader#slashers x reader#slasher x you#slasher smut#patrick bateman smut#patrick bateman headcanon#christian bale smut#christian bale x reader
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July Kinkfest Day 1
The Sandman || Dreamling (Dream of the Endless/Hob Gadling) || Rated E || 559 words
Prompts: Begging | Degradation | “You have to tell me what you want.” (I'll call this inspired by all three prompts, but the first is the big one here.)
Warnings: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hob gets to be dark (as a treat), D/s (if you squint), would be eventual D/s if I kept writing, Hob uses magic, what if dark!Hob is the one who captures Dream in 1916?, what if Dream is already thinking about planning for the events in The Kindly Ones?
Author's Notes: Eh, a day late. This went a completely different direction as I was writing it. Like, screeching tires change in direction. But I like it, despite it only being kinky if you squint. Don't worry, Day 2 will be kinky enough for both of the posts.
“Never.” His Stranger snarls, leaning forward to pull against the bindings on his wrists. The runes carved into the simple leather cuffs burn gold and the captive sinks back against the wall with a hiss.
“Never say never,” Hob sings, purposefully off-pitch and off-putting. “Over five-hundred years you have made a fool of me – no more, darling.” He shakes his head as he paces. “No more.”
Stars in the void-black eyes follow Hob back and forth, but he says no more. Pity, that.
“You are the one who gave me this gift. You are the one who spurned my friendship. You are the one who will suffer the consequences.” Hob stops and turns to stand facing his Stranger. “This is, in no uncertain terms, your fault, my dear.”
The captive lifts his lip in a sneer and his rage radiates off of him in tangible waves. They crash up against the darkness seething out of Hob and create visible sparks.
Hob takes a half-step towards the captive and his darkness expands, curling along the floorboards, seeking out their target. His power pushes against the aura around his Stranger, eating away at it, like acid. Those black-space eyes narrow at him.
Another half-step forward and more of his Stranger’s aura is degraded. It is a slow erosion, but he has time. Hob has nothing but time.
Another half-step. Then another. Successive constricting circles of power ring around his Stranger and Hob is honestly surprised it is this easy to trap an Endless.
Unless…
Hob inches forward once more and inhales sharply. Now that he is feeling for it, it is obvious.
It is Hob’s turn to snarl as he surges forward, closing the distance and grabbing his Stranger by the hair, pulling with enough force to snap his head back so that he has to look up at Hob from where he is forced to kneel. “You are letting this happen, Dream of the Endless!" He was hoping to extract that name from his Stranger by force, but his anger overwhelms his plans. "You allow my power to gnaw away at yours. Tell me what your game is!”
They stare at each other, Hob panting with the physical exertion of maintaining his hard-won magicks. The panting means that Hob’s lips are already parted when Dream surges upwards and covers Hob’s mouth with his.
For a moment Hob gives in, swaying into everything he has ever wanted, and then he stumbles backwards with a shout. “What the fuck?”
“Capture me.” Now Dream is panting, body trembling with emotion. “I don’t want this any more. I can give you the power.” He strains against the cuffs again, tilting all of himself towards Hob, and while the runes light up once more, Dream does not hiss in pain. “The ruby around my neck. Take it. I will show you how to master its power. I will show you how to use it to master me.”
Hob has no idea how long he watches with wide, unbelieving eyes as his Stranger tries desperately to get across the floor to him.
Eventually even the Endless sags down, arms held limply aloft by the cuffs chained to the wall. The sound Dream lets out is something Hob absolutely refuses to believe is a sob.
Except then Dream, his Stranger, whispers, “Please, Hob. Please take me away.”
#Dreamling#dark!Hob#Hob can be dark (as a treat)#Hob Gadling#Dream of the Endless#The Sandman AU#Pavonis writes#julykinkfest2023
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Madness Made Sane
Part One (REWRITE)
For @deafeningsharkslimeempath @jacelion
I’ve seen universes collapse. I’ve seen heroes fall and robot overlords rise. A fortune teller told me that my powers lined up with an old prophecy.
The Scarlet King, a nexus being. A king would rise to fight a witch clothed in scarlet. It was never said who would win in the end. I was destined to be a champion to protect worlds from Chthon, the destroyer. Some protector I turned out to be.
My world fell to the might of Ultron. I was only saved by the Watcher right as my world was destroyed. He told me my fate was bigger than one world. Whatever that meant.
I lost track over the countless worlds that I traversed. I barely found a place to lay my head before I had some monster tracking me. Not exactly easy living.
With time I met up with another multiversal traveler. America Chavez, AC as I grew to call her. It felt like I had a sister in her, and to her, I was her protector her guardian. We looked out for one another. We ate together, fought together, told each other terrible jokes. It was a blast.
Eventually we met up with some sorcerer who called himself Defender Strange. Apparently he was part of a team called the Defenders.
And so that leads us to right now in my tale. Strange, Chavez and I were running. A mummified looking being of pure destruction on our tails.
"Keep going!" Strange yells to Chavez as him and I worked to hold the monster at bay. The monster's reddish pupils stared daggers into mine.
I hurled a slab of sharpened concrete into it. The monster lost its footing but only momentarily.
"Y/N!!" America called out to me. The monster slammed its linen tentacle into a chest, knocking all the air out of my lungs and off the edge of the precipice Strange and I had found ourselves on.
Strange tried to catch me but it was too late. I fell further and further into the void. The last thing I heard was America's screams as it all faded to black.
Or so I thought.
"I think he's dead" a young voice called out in the darkened void.
"So are we going to poke him with a stick or not?" another similar voice asked.
I opened my eyes to find two twin boys standing over me, their attention was on one another, arguing. I was in the backyard of a two story suburban home. Did I fall into Pleasantville?!?
"I'm not gonna poke a dead body, Tommy!" the one in red and blue argued, "Mom would kill us if she found out we poked a dead-"
His brother, clothed in a green track jacket, screamed, "Billy!!! He's not dead!"
The boys screamed. I couldn't help but scream too. I tried to get up but I ended tripping on a metal slide.
"Where am I?" I tried to get my bearings. "Who are you?"
"You fell from space" Billy answered, pointing up to the sky.
"Spaceman. We. mean you. no harm" Tommy tried to pronounce each word to me.
"It's okay guys, I speak English" I tried to pacify them. "All I remember is-"
I was cut off by a burst of red magic. Chaos magic. It picked me up and lifted me a couple feet in the air.
"Who are you?" A female voice called out from the nearby house. And out walked her. Five foot six, long reddish hair, dazzling green eyes. Red hoodie and yoga pants that fit her just right. She was gorgeous. The most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
I wasn't one to believe in love at first sight. But seeing her, I could start believing in it.
"Mom! Don't!" Billy shouted to the woman. "He's friendly."
I could feel her. Her essence probed my very being.
"I can hear your thoughts of me" her ethereal self giggle and blushed. "I'm Wanda. Wanda Maximoff"
"(Y/N)" I answer back as she set me down gently.
"I haven't met another magic user in a long time" she walks up to me and shakes my hand. "Where did you come from?"
"Earth 96. It no longer exists." I answer back. "Do you know of anyone who might be able to help?"
"I think I might know someone" Wanda answers back. "Would you like to stay for supper? I have paprikesh on the stove."
"Paprikesh sounds wonderful" I answer back with a smile.
Dinner was nice. The first real meal I had around a table since I lost home. The boys relegated me with tales of their lives, their powers, and even their dreams of someday joining their Earth's Mightiest Heroes: the Illuminati.
"On my world we had Avengers. Iron Man, Cap, Hulk, Thor, the Black Widow. They were great" I sadly reflected on the team I lost.
Wanda reached across the table and gave my hand a gentle squeeze. Her eyes told me of immense pain and yet there was a resolve there, stronger than my own.
Wanda put the boys down for bed in their rooms. I quietly sat on the couch as she tossed me a pillow and a blanket.
"I can write down the directions for you and you can head out after breakfast tomorrow. If you want." She smiles at me.
"Thank you Wanda." I flash a small smile at her. "you know Billy and Tommy are amazing."
"well they had me for a mother" she jokes. We couldn't help but share a laugh. "Is it true?"
"Is what true?" I looked at her confused
"That you think I'm the most beautiful woman you've ever seen?" I was left dry mouthed. She giggles, "I read your mind when we met."
"well I mean...uh...um" this woman left me speechless.
"Good night Y/N" she walks up to her room, a saunter in her step. A lesser man would've followed her right up those steps. If I could stay on this world, I would've.
But Chavez needed me. The Scarlet Witch was still hunting her.
I set out the next morning. Giving the Maximoff clan a hug before I left. I flew to the coordinates Wanda gave me.
A large stone building in the middle of Central Park. No markings no signs. Just a large slab of concrete.
I approach the only door in to the building. I didn't even knock and the door opens on its own.
"Welcome to the Illuminati" a polite English voice calls out to me.
"Thank you, Mister..."
"Xavier. Charles Xavier" the voice answered as a hover chair bound man floated out to greet me.
This should be interesting.
To Be Continued...
#marvel#madness made sane#multiverse of madness spoilers#wanda maximoff x male reader#wanda my beloved#wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff imagine#wanda maximoff x reader#scarlet witch imagine#scarlet witch x reader#scarlet witch#doctor strange in the multiverse of madness#doctor strange#america chavez
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Teen Wolf fanfiction recs — Chris/Peter/Stiles
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"Anchors" (E) by TriDom | 115,736 | Stiles falls in love with a married man twice his age. He doesn’t have daddy issues. He doesn’t have a kink, but it still happens. Little does he know he’s about to step into a failing marriage between a hunter and a werewolf, becoming just as entrenched in their shit as they are.
"So Well Suited" (E) by Bunnywest | 111,578 | Chris and Peter run HA Menswear. Stiles works at Gamesworld. They strike up an agreement, sharing kitchen and bathroom access. Stiles would like to share more, but Hot Suit guys are a couple, so he knows it will never happen. Never. Right?
"Warning: Contents Are Under Pressure" (E) by Shey | 68,690 | Recent NYU grad, and new law clerk, Stiles Stilinski is sixty-five hours into a very long work week, the latest in a string of very long work weeks. He’s suffering from a terrible case of no-time-to-jerk-off, and a shared apartment with painfully thin walls. To top it off, his entitled bastard of a boss seems to have missed the memo on personal space. If he doesn’t get some quality time with his right hand, and soon, he’s going to end up fired, or evicted. Unfortunately, his roommate is forever getting in the way of his plans, and it turns out his boss is just plain trouble with a capital T.
"It's an F12" (M) by TriDom | 1,453 | Stiles should be very grateful he's cute. That's why Peter excuses the things that come out of his smart mouth.
"smells like love" (M) by Areiton | 2,419 | They smell like warm love and want. That isn't the problem. The problem is they smell like sex.
"The Pumpkin Patch" (T) by luulapants | 956 | Behind him, Chris heard Peter shove Stiles, who stumbled into their little red wagon of pumpkins. He turned to make sure they hadn’t fallen out, snapping, “Careful!” “Yeah, Stiles.”
"There Is No Handbook for This" (E) by Whreflections | 5,686 | Stiles would have never, ever imagined he'd be at a place in his life where hiring an escort to get some decent sex and feel out how deep his attraction to older men really went was a legitimate option- and he can imagine a lot.
"it's not right (but it's okay)" (E) by DarkIsRising | 24,122 | Two years post-Nogitsume and Stiles Stilinski is Not Okay. It just so happens that Peter is around to make a suggestion.
"we never stopped burning" (E) by forpony | 366k+ WIP | Peter wakes up sane thanks to the remaining Hales taking care of him, Chris is divorced and hasn't gotten along with his family in years and Stiles and Lydia get dragged into werewolf drama by a semi-sentient tree.
"Conduit" 🔒 (E) by DarkIsRising | 52,408 | It could very well be the easiest money Stiles has ever made. A cool 10k to spend a weekend with some rich guy getting plowed in his familial estate during some hoity-toity engagement party for Rich Guy’s niece, with an extra 2k on offer if he can make his ex-husband visibly seethe with jealousy. And all that right there—sex, money, annoying the shit out of people— are some of Stiles’ most favorite things ever.
"Sense Memory" (T) by Shey | 1,452 | Chris goes through the motions, wondering if anything will jar him loose. He leaves the house, runs errands, works with the pack, fights monsters, everything exactly like usual. Routine. The kids argue over the bad guy of the week. Bicker. He doesn’t have the energy to be the adult in the room, the voice of reason. He tries, but he’s shouting into the void.
°°°°°°
"Madness" (E) by spqr | 13,208 | “This is a very awkward way to have a conversation,” Stiles says. “I really wish you would put some clothes on.” “Stiles,” Peter sighs, “I’m not going to contort myself into one of your t-shirts just so you can pretend you’re not lusting after my godlike body.” “I’m really more worried about the pants,” Stiles says, “also what the fuck, I am not lusting after your godlike body—” “Ah,” Peter grins, propping his head up on his hand. “So you admit the adjective is appropriate.”
"Torture Most Vile" (T) by aurevell | 1,896 | As a werewolf, Peter's above such trivial things as communicable diseases. Which is why it's a pity that he loves two humans prone to catching them.
More to be added.
#fanfiction#fan fiction#fanfic#fic recs#teen wolf#teen wolf fanfiction#teen wolf fics#ao3#stetopher#stiles stilinski#chris argent#peter hale
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So I saw a post you made a long time ago of hs shennanigans and there was one idea where hs Sammy went on vacation and during the time he wasn't at the studio, it was chaos at the studio as the ink was searching for a new victim to be it's new "lightning rod" I found that so funny XD I ain't sure if you take requests but it'd be hilarious to see some small/short fic out of it!
(I've pretty much never stopped taking requests, it's just that I haven't gotten a lot of them lately.)
It didn't start with a flood, but an obnoxious and persistent dripping. Minor inconveniences; a puddle of ink that made itself known only after the Janitor put his mop and bucket away, a pipe that broke the second the one across from it was fixed by the mechanic, a frame that had to be redrawn by the artist because a certain imp swapped the normal pens with black ink for pens that wrote in pink, sparkly, strawberry-scented ink...
Things that normal people in a normal animation studio would dismiss as a normal day with a bit of bad luck. Things that at first, the normal and abnormal people in the VERY abnormal animation studio dismissed as a normal day with bad luck...
...Until Joey looked at the calendar and paled in horror.
"IT'S JUNE 15TH!" He shouted at the top of his lungs while barging into as many rooms as quickly as he could, attempting to warn as many as possible. "EVERYBODY! IT'S JUNE 15TH! RUN AND HIDE WHILE YOU STILL CAN!"
"Joey, deep breaths..." The animator put his hand on his boss's shoulder in an attempt to steady him. "What's the problem with June 15th? I thought that the Inspectors were coming over on July 15th."
"Henry! The inspectors are nothing compared to this!" Joey exclaimed. "June 15th is the first day Sammy's left for his vacation!"
"Ooookay..?" Henry looked at the worried man, blinking owlishly as he still didn't grasp the severity of this dire situation.
"So? The Banjo man's out for a few days, big whoop." Bendy shrugged nonchalantly with an eye roll as he hopped over Henry's desk. "It's not like we have any tight deadlines on songs or anything, and even if we did, Mr. Fain's not *that* bad of a songwriter in his own right, so what's all the shouting and running around for?"
"It's..." Joey looked around and gestured the two to come close, as Henry and Bendy humored him, he whispered to the both of them. "The I-N-K..."
"Oh ^$@!ing son of a @*$%# we're completely #$@&ed..." Bendy's eyes went as wide as dinner plates before shaking his head and glaring at the loony cultist. "WHY DIDNTCHA SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THIS SOONER?! WE COULD'VE SENT LETTERS WARNING PEOPLE!"
"It completely slipped my mind!"
"Oh geez... well too late now..."
Bendy rubbed his temples in an over-exaggerated fashion while Henry stayed calm on the surface.
"Guys, I think we just need to stay calm and not feed into it. It does like it when people freak out, so if everyone pretends everything is normal, it won't mess with anyone. It works just like the toon logic thing where you only fall when you look down."
"Henry, that's only how it worked before we hired Sammy." Joey started to explain "But when it messed with him, he messed back and it had fun so now it gets bored and 'lonely' when he's gone, and when it gets bored and lonely, it tries to find someone to fill the void Sammy leaves, someone who has the same 'angry-spiteful' reaction to its antics, and to do that it starts causing problems ranging from mildly annoying to-"
SPLOOSH!
"...Destructive..."
"DANG IT! I *JUST* MOPPED DAT FLOOR!"
Wally shouted from right outside Henry's office door, prompting the three of them to peek out and see him confronting Thomas.
"I THOUGHT YA SAID YOU'D FIX DIS DANG THING!" The janitor rapped the broken pipe with the handle of his ink-soaked mop. "WHAT THE HECK IS ALL OF THIS?!"
"I FIXED THAT DAMN PIPE FIVE GODFORSAKEN MINUTES AGO! IF *YOU* WEREN'T KNOCKING THINGS OVER AND HITTING ALL OF THEM WITH MOPS AND BROOMS, *I* WOULDN'T NEED TO SPEND ALL MY TIME RUNNING AROUND FIXING EVERY PIPE YOU MANAGE TO BREAK!"
"WELL MAYBE THEY WOULDN'T BREAK EVERY TEN SECONDS IF YA USED SOMETHING STRONGER THAN TINFOIL! I'VE USED STRAWS STRONGER THAN YER PIPES!"
"OH, SO YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST BLAME *ME* FOR THIS?!"
As the ink started to drip on both Wally and Thomas, Joey, Bendy, and Henry gave each other a concerned look before looking back at them.
"I think it just found *two* replacement Sammies..." Joey murmured as he adjusted his glasses.
"...Should we warn them?" Henry asked the man and the demon.
"Well we could..." Bendy rolls his hand. "...But it's funnier for us and the ink if they find out themselves."
#bendy and the ink machine#fanfic#joey drew#bendy the dancing demon#henry stein#thomas connor#wally franks#hells studio#ficlet
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Whiskey, owed.
((I had a random idea so ah.... here's a Silco drabble.))
“Twenty years ago I would have burned this place down around you. Ten years ago I would have dragged your wife, and daughter in here so you could have company while the fire enveloped you. Five years ago… it’s not that hard to make a man kill his own family. The right dosage of shimmer, the right situation, the right amount of fear; panic, aggression and a nightmare is created no one ever wants to wake up from.” Stepping past the bartender, and owner of the tavern Silco was in he reached up taking down a bottle of whiskey to consider it. “I’ve had worse than this. Do you mind?” Glancing back to the man who was ghostly white in that moment Silco nodded before pulling out two shot glasses. As Silco poured two shots worth of whiskey Sevika stood in the middle of the tavern arms crossed as her eyes flickered around ensuring no one was about to make a fuss not that it would have done them any good if they had.
Pushing a filled shot glass into the hand of the man who owned the tavern Silco raised his own. “Cheers to every valiant miner; As he is surrounded by night and horrors.” A faintly sinister smile was on Silco’s face as the tavern owner echoed the toast with a distinct shake in his voice. Both downed their respective shot before Silco put his shot glass down. “Now tell me, do I need to introduce you to the horrors that can so easily invade a man’s life?” Turning a bit he stepped in close leaning in so his eerie eye blazing fiery in a void of blackness could seem as though it was practically staring into the other man’s soul Silco studied him. “Or do you understand what it takes to keep those horrors at bay? Do you have the wisdom to offer the appropriate respect?”
Swallowing the tavern owner nodded quickly. “I, I understand. Silco. It was a mistake that’s all, I promise! My son in law… he’s young, he didn’t, doesn’t understand. Please, Sir, I’ll make sure he offers the respect owed in the future.”
Quiet for a moment Silco stepped back than nodded to Sevika. The tavern went quiet as Sevika shouted for one of Silco’s people, and suddenly the son in law the tavern owner had mentioned was shoved through the main door of the tavern sputtering through the gag keeping him mostly silent. Paying little attention to the young man Silco reached for the whiskey, and poured himself another shot downing it quickly. “Youth, and stupidity only excuses so much.” Voice grim Silco let out a faint tsk before shrugging. “Still. Mistakes do happen.” Reaching out he grabbed a clean napkin, and pulling out a pen wrote down a few quick lines before putting it into the tavern owners hand. “Don’t let him make the same mistake again, and I expect a delivery of your best whiskey to The Last Drop. The best, not the swill you let me drink today. Something actually decent.”
Seconds later Silco was gone, and the tavern owner undid the gag keeping his son in law silent which quickly proved to be a mistake. “Who the fuck he thinks he is just walking in here, and shoving us around like that!? I should,” the young man found himself suddenly on the ground with his jaw aching. The tavern owner tossed the napkin down onto his chest, and shook his head. “Oh shut up before I drown you, and apologize to my daughter for failing her by letting her marry an idiot. You’re going to be delivering the whiskey. This weekend. Now get up, and go take inventory in the back.”
The young man looked vaguely confused, but nodded slowly as he stood. It wasn’t until he headed into the back, and took a moment to look at the napkin he finally understood at which point the blood drained from his face.
It was a list of addresses. For the home the tavern owner shared with his wife and youngest son who hadn’t left home yet, and also for the son in law who had married the tavern owners oldest daughter. There was also a third address, and that one belonged to the sister of the son in law. Silco clearly knew where all their loved ones lived, and until they got home they would have no idea if their loved ones were in fact still alive and if so how long they would stay that way. The one thing they did know was that they had attracted the chem-barons attention, and that was seldom a healthy thing to do.
That night each member of the family prayed.
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Another fic I found in my old WIPs from last year.
Din Djarin x unnamed female.
Smut.🔞 Sex pollen vibes. Bad language.
Din's visor whipped around scanning the room. She had been right next to him as the fight had broken out. He had managed to knock out or scare off most of the quarry's associates. The quarry in question was now cuffed to the bar shouting at Din in his native language. Even if Din had spoken that language, he wouldn't have cared what was being said, she was his priority.
Moving down a dark corridor at the back of the bar he finally heard her familiar grunts of exertion. As he kicked open the door he took in the scene quickly. Two men were already on the floor. One was spralled out face down unmoving, the other groaning and holding his arm in the corner. The third she was exchanging blows with before Din could react she swiftly span, connecting her foot squarely with the man's chest sending him backwards, crashing through a window, on to the street below. Luckily for him, it wasn't far. She stumbled back a little and Din moved to her side holding her arm to steady her.
"Woah, I must have spun faster than I thought." she joked half heartedly shaking her head in an attempt to clear it.
"What's that?!" Din gestured to her left leg where, to her shock there was currently a syringe sticking out of it.
"So run that by me again?" Din asked once they were safely back on the Crest.
"Binary drugs." she winced propping herself up against the wall. "That's why there were so many people coming from all over. They were transporting single components. The drugs come in two parts, plus an antidote. Each one is undetectable on it's own. They only become a drug once they mix in your system."
"You only had one part so you'll be fine." he mused.
"Er, no. Am already feeling the effects. If I don't take the next dose..." she trailed off.
"What?" Din pushed up off the crate he was leaning on, closing the space between them, his fingers flexing at his side.
"Things could get rough. Painful. Maybe even death." Before the last word fully left her lips, Din was ready with the second syringe. She felt flattered by how quickly he came to her aid.
"Wait!" She put her hands up to stop him. His helmet tilted quizzically at her. "Am not saying I want to chance dying. Not now I know am not one of the people who can't just ride out the first dose but you need to hear everything first. The second dose will kick in in about 20 minutes. The antidote needs to be administered when my core temperature starts to drop, not before. I'll hook myself up to a med pad. That rules out putting me in carbonite until it's over."
"Why would you need to be put in carbonite?" the black void looking down at her never normally bothered her but since she was about to broach a difficult subject it made her want to shrink away.
"The appeal of these particular drugs is that they increase arousal and libido. The urges can become painful if not dealt with. I may say and try to do things that I wouldn't normally." 'Not that I wouldn't want to normally, I just wouldn't say or do them' she finished in her head.
Din moved closer then paused for a minute "It's ok. I'll know it's just the drugs." he murmured before sinking the syringe into her thigh.
Din sat, stone still on the floor next to her cot. Not even five minutes after getting the injection she fell fast asleep. He listened intently to every breath, watching for any change. The med pad linked to the sensors on her chest and head, showed that everything was normal. Din was starting to tire himself. Soon he was pulled under by after effects of the adrenaline from the day.
As he groggily blinked awake, the world filtered back into Din's awareness. A rapid beeping. The medpad? Then an overwhelming chill down his spine. His hairs stood on end. His flesh pricked with goosebumps. Her finger tips slowly trailed along the hairline at the nape of his neck. His cock instinctively began to harden.
"Din?" Her voice was soft and low. Quickly he straightened his head, letting his helmet fall back into place before standing.
"How are feeling?"
"Relaxed." She stretched, slowly arching her back, her breasts straining against her shirt.
He distracted himself with checking her vitals.
"I can see why people like this. It feels good. The touch of everything on my skin. Mmmm. Makes me tingle." Her hand came up, her fingers traced his chest plate. "Makes me wet."
He hoped she didn't feel the stutter in the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. His breath caught in his throat at her words. He shifted away out of her reach. It seemed like a good idea. Until he realised it just freed up her hand to touch herself. Her fingers trailed down the v-neck of her shirt, exposing the swell of her breasts, before she traced a line to her nipple.
"Stop." Din compelled her. He shouldn't be seeing this.
"But it feels so good. Don't you want me to feel good?" The innocent honeyed tone made his cock harden further. "Don't you want to feel good?" The data pad in his hand creaked under his grip. Her hand ran up the back of his thigh. He hadn't be touched like that in years. "I think about you, you know. Those hands, those broad shoulders. That voice. I could come from the sound of it alone.
Help me feel good." Her hand was moving up his inner thigh now. A few inches higher and it would be very difficult for him to deny that he wanted to make her feel good.
"Fine. I'll help you." Din finally snapped. His voice was rougher than she'd ever heard. The way he easily hoisted her over his shoulder and carried her up to the cockpit did nothing to ease the need between her thighs. Opening the door to the cockpit he dumped her unceremoniously onto his seat. Before she could touch him he span on his heels and left.
"You bastard! You said you would help me!" She screamed, flying forward, banging on the metal door. Huffing she dropped to the floor.
A speaker on the console crackled. "I will." came Din's voice. It was sounded different, it was still rough but different. Lighter? Smoother? It was at the point she realise what was different.
"Did you take your helmet off?" She asked. He didn't answer. Could he hear her through the thick door?
"You want my help? I'll help you. Sit up on my seat. Don't talk, just listen." he commanded. Dragging herself up to climb on his chair took some effort. Her body was so tense with need.
"I've lost count of how many times I've sat in very seat and touched myself thinking about you." His words shot straight to her core. If she wasn't already wet she would be now.
"I've wanted you so badly. You're so beautiful, so confident but so adorably self conscious too. So kind hearted but such a temper. It's like you're two people, warrior and nurturer. I want both. I want to fuck you roughly and satiate you when you're running hot after a fight. I also want to spend hours touching you gently, making you come over and over, taking care of you when you are done taking care of everyone else." He must have been able to hear her moans. As soon as he started talking her hands had made their way to were she needed them. She hoped he could hear her, she hoped her sounds were having an affect on him.
Din was used to restraining himself in so many ways. Avoiding the temptation to remove his helmet. Trying to kerb his temper when dealing with a difficult quarry or thieving Jawas. He felt awful to admit to himself that throwing her into the cockpit, instead of taking her there against the wall of the Crest, took all his self restraint. He would never take advantage of a someone but the thought of making her feel good when she needed it, pulled at him for a moment. A moment that he was ashamed of. Even what he was doing now felt wrong but it was the best he could think of. He couldn't see or hear her. He was at the back of the ship with the comm relay on. He'd locked the door and the med tab was sending him alerts. He just has to hope she was lucid enough to cover herself when he had to go in. He had given her all the privacy he could. He knew she was desperate for him, or maybe just desperate for anyone, but he was the one here and you said you liked his voice. Plus he'd never be able to tell you how he felt normally. Maybe this way, if you rejected him, he could pass it off as an act. An elaborate effort to ease your pain.
"When you make me so hard I can't stand it anymore. I wait until you're asleep and lock myself in there. I take off my helmet, recline in my seat and think about you. When I take my dick in my hand I think about you straddling me and slowly sinking down onto it or you taking me in your mouth." The med pad next to him started to beep. Your heart rate was speeding up.
"Either way I always end up fucking up into my fist roughly because the thought of you is too much." The pad beeps faster.
"When I come all over myself, I think about what it would feel like to feel your sweet little cunt come around me." Her heart rate spiked. Various chemical levels in her blood elevated. He knew she must have came.
"Fuck." Came Din's unfiltered voice through the comm. "Am going to let you speak now. I only want you to answer my questions." She was so wrecked from her orgasm she nodded in reply before realising.
"Are you okay?" His voice was full of concern, it made her heart swell even in her lust fuelled haze.
"Yes." She breathed.
"Do you need...more?" he asked there was still concern in his voice but something else crept in there. She hoped his resolve was breaking.
"Yes. I need more. I need you. Want you to fill..."
Din quickly shut off her comm. He didn't want her to be any more embarrassed that she would already be tomorrow. He ran his hand over his face. Maker, he'd already put her in an embarrassing position. For what? To help her? Or to help himself? To let her know that he would do anything for her? He ignored the throbbing in his trousers. He wasn't going to touch himself over her like this. This was for her, not him. The med pad beeping picked up again. Shit, she was going to come again. He couldn't help thinking about how she would sound as she reached her peak or about how her beautiful face would look contorted in ecstasy, head thrown back moaning his name.
When the beeping subsided he spoke again. "Am going to let you speak again. Remember just answer my questions. Be good." His cock twitches at that. He'd always wanted for her to be a good girl for him. To follow his orders. To only come at his say so.
"I'll be good Din." Came her reply. She very rarely used his name. Too afraid that it would become habit and she might let it slip in public so she preferred Mando or whatever nickname came to mind in the moment. His name sounds so good from your lips, he wanted to spend hours making her say it.
Before he could think he spoke. "Good girl. Always so good for me."
The moan that came for her almost had him coming there and then. He gripped the base of his cock harshly, willing his erection to subside.
"Are you okay?" he choked out.
His voice sounded wrecked. She wondered if he was touching himself now. Were those strong hands working his shaft and thinking about her? Those hands had gripped her body a couple of times. Once he wrapped one arm around her waist, pulled her flush to his armour to get her out of harm's way. She could still practically feel his cool Beskar pressed into her back. She'd spent entirely too much time think about how it felt and how it would feel pressed against her while Din was inside her. The other time, she had knocked Din to the ground in the middle of an ambush. She ended up on top of him. His hands gripped her waist, hard. Long enough to roll her so his amoured frame could protected her. As he loomed on all fours above her, she had sat up, pressed her chest into his to see over his shoulder. Whipping his blaster from it's holser she shot the attacker on the roof top. Din stayed perfectly still as she returned the blaster before slowly moving off of her. That was the only time she'd cursed his oath. She swore that without that helmet he would had kissed her instead of mumbling a thank you. She was aware that he had abruptly turned off her comm last time so she was careful about her words this time.
"I still need help." There was a pause. "I'm helping you in the only way that I can." He sounded rueful.
"I understand why you won't touch me...but you could touch yourself for me. I want to hear you. Want you to hear me." The slight static signaled that he had turned off her comm again.
This was his punishment for letting things go too far. She was asking him to touch himself for her. So far the only thing you had exchanged were some words. We all say things we don't mean especially under duress. But if he left the comm open, listened to the sounds she make in her most intimate moments, that would be crossing a line. At this point he didn't care if she heard him. The only problem was it felt wrong that he was getting so hard from her in her altered state. The only solace he was taking was that in hindsight their attraction to each other was obvious. He tried not to think about it because it gave him hope for more but it was blatant. He saw the way her eyes travelled up him as he walked towards her. The way they lingered on any flash of skin. The way her breath quickened when he was close or how she subtlety licked her lips when he was close enough to kiss. Even with the protection of his helmet he wasn't good at hiding it either. The way he'd stumble over his words when she would have to be close to him. The times he couldn't help but lean into her touch when you cleaned his wounds up or had to touch him. The way he let his hands linger on her body longer than necessary. One time you she tackled him to the floor in an alleyway moments before they were shot at. After pulling her safely underneath him, he let the hand that wasn't bracing himself over her rest on her waist while she shot their attacker. The way she stayed so calm, expertly grabbed his weapon and effortlessly made the shot turned him on. If the sound of more enemies approaching hadn't jarred him out of his thoughts he wasn't sure if he would have been able to stop himself from lowering himself down between her legs and grinding into her.
The hand that had been trying to calm his hard on was now running up his length over the fabric of his trousers. He just needed a little friction he told himself. Just a little relief to help him focus. He pressed harder against his shaft, the edge of his palm catching the rim of his tip as he moved his hand over the head. He groaned and his knees buckled slightly as the sensation.
"Din?" came her voice. His eyes flew open in a panic searching for you. "Mechanic remember?" She panted over the comm. Kriff! If she was able to get to the comms she could open the door.
"It's ok. I know you've been trying to protect me from myself. I'll stay in here." He didn't even know how to respond. Of course she knew. She always knew what was going on with him.
"Heard you...before...in here...moaning. Heard my name...too." He tried not to think about why her words were coming out in short bursts.
"Only for a moment...I walked away...touched myself in my bunk, thought about you." The moan that left her lips had him freeing his solid dick from it's confines. He pulled on it, rough and dry, a couple of times just to feel some relief. A long, low groan came from his throat.
"That's it. Wanna hear you." Shit, of course she'd unmuted his comm.
"I want to know you want me too. That it's not just wishful thinking when I feel you looking at me." Din forgot about all the other physical urges pulling at him. That pulled at his heart. She sounded like she wanted the same reassurance that he did. When he finally spoke he tried to convey that he wasn't just wrapped up in the moment, that he always wanted her, always would. "I want you, always have. Want you next to me, always. By my side. In my life. In my bed..."
"Always." she repeated the trace of her smile in her voice. "For now...tell me what you're doing? Are you touching yourself."
He hesitated before answering honestly "Yes."
"Good. Are your gloves on or off?" she probed.
"Off." he answered through gritted teeth. The way she was with him was making him jerk himself harder.
"Am still on your chair like you told me. Am straddling it...while I ride my fingers. Imagining am riding you." She panted.
Din spat on his hand, coating himself thinking about how wet she would be around him. He groaned deeply as he worked himself harder. He could hear her moaning and panting now. Her heart rate was climbing again. He wanted to talk to her. To tell her how good he felt, to have her tell him what she was doing. He wanted to know every detail but he couldn't even speak. Instead he used his imagination. Thought about how wet and tight she would be. How soft her skin would feel against him. How beautiful she would look on top of him. He was broken from his thoughts by the sound of her screaming his name. That sound alone had him coating the metal floor with his come, grunting her name as he did so.
The med pad beeped again this time it was different. It was indicating that it was time for your final dose.
"Hey." Din's voice came softly through the comm. "Time for the last dose. Is it okay to come in?"
She lay back on his seat catching her breath. Looking down she rearranged her clothing so she was decent. She weren't sure if that's what he meant or if he was asking was it safe for him to open the door. She took stock. The throbbing between her legs was manageable. She wanted Din not more more than she normally wanted Din. Not that that was ever a low or reasonable amount. The man drove her insane. He prompted her with a call of her name.
"Come in." she answered turning the chair to face him. He stepped through the door. Helmet in place. Clothes straightened. The only thing out of place were his gloves. In his hand he held the last syringe. She wondered if she put his fingers in her mouth if she'd be able to taste his release on them. That thought kept her occupied as he silently knelt down next to her, gripping her knee firmly before jabbed the needle into her thigh. In her current state even that was erotic. He leaned over her to recline his seat back further.
"Rest." He told her as he gently pushed her back into the seat. He left the cockpit for a moment then came back with a blanket. For a while she wondered if he would act like the last few hours hadn't happened until he gently cupped her face in his large, warm hand. He hovered over her until he finally brought his visor covered face down to hers. Before she could fully comprehend what was happening he tipped his helmet back slightly, just enough so she could vaguely see his lips out of the corner of her eye. He pressed them lightly to hers. The kiss was over too soon for her liking but perfect all the same. "Sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."
Tags @kirsteng42 @babydarkstar @prolix-yuy @thegreenkid @hquinzelle @fangirl-316 @gracie7209 @jedifarmerr @doommommy @scorpio-marionette @sturkillerbase @harriedandharassed
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BETS AGAINST THE VOID - a chosendark playlist
(...edit, the embed seems to be wrong?????? i recently edited the song order and cut some songs but its not reflecting it for some reason. maybe itll be fixed later or smth but for now heres a static link to the actual thing: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/09ZLrgwE8pp0RQltFBCevE?si=2555ac48895a452f)
Los Campesinos! - We Throw Parties, You Throw Knives
when you play pass the parcel with human bodyparts / somebody might get head but someone will get hurt / and i’ll sing what you like / if you shout it straight back at me
The Wombats - Walking Disasters
and flowers may wilt when we walk past / and self-help might help when it makes us laugh / only finding questions in answers, / you and i are just walking disasters
The Front Bottoms - Everything I Own
but i won't stop this, and you won't stop this, / it'll probably go further than either of us wanted it / it all comes down to the fact that i don't care to / sacrifice a good time 'cause someone says I have to
Of Montreal - We Will Commit Wolf Murder
anti-human armies spring from every angle / you're the only soldier i don't want to strangle / i can see it's a dolorous fate (so don't expect us to cooperate) / anyway it's five lives too late /
(and there's blood in my hair)
The Scary Jokes - Jeanine
guess it doesn't really matter if you're open or not / i'm verbose enough for the both of us / and we can't all be open floodgates after all / but you don't have to be a dam for me
Stars - We Don’t Want Your Body
the window blinds are drawn / you flash some trash to turn me on / i sigh and frown and start to cough / your hunger starts to turn me off
The Front Bottoms - HELP
on some nights there's something cool to do / on some nights there is nothing to do at all / i guess it's cool for right now / just like everything else
OK Go - The Writing’s on the Wall
it seems like forever since we had a good day / the writing's on the wall / but i just wanna get you high tonight / i just wanna see some pleasure in your eyes / some pleasure in your eyes
The Front Bottoms - Be Nice To Me
what's it matter anymore / if you believe the lies i tell / there's no meaning to the words but we still sing these songs well / if we all left it alone i'm sure it'll work itself out fine / we keep playing with the numbers, we are running out of time
Spoon - Rainy Taxi
and when you stand beside me, i feel something stronger than i ever could / but if you leave, you better run away for good
Kim Petras - Tell Me It’s A Nightmare
be careful when you love me / i'm only out for blood / you know i’d be the end of you / but you always wanted more
DECO*27 - アンドロイドガール
is it alright to indulge in "sentimentalism"? / am i allowed to long for those days, even now? / is that a yes or a no? / tell me clearly
Spoon - Shotgun
calling for blood with your battle song / i'd rather not, got my own thing going on / i never wanted to take it outside / you're the one that had to go bring that fight
The Wombats - Our Perfect Disease
let’s not talk about hate when there’s hell to pay / for my cowardice and your bad timing / we don’t admit it but we’ve never seen eye to eye / and it’s not due to lack of trying
WALK THE MOON - In My Mind
the phone is off the hook, the keys are down the drain / just an empty book with nothing on the page / i no longer have the voice to say goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Grimes - Pin
dirt in your fingernails, blood on your knees / but did that ever make you happy? / i think you were my best friend / gentle, do not reprehend / i know it hasn't been a dream / but if you pardon, I will mend
The Scary Jokes - Bets Against the Void
will you remember me when our spirits scatter off? / i know i'm an artist cause i just can't stand the thought / that a love as beautiful as ours could be / forgotten
#nyagrounds original#ava the chosen one#ava the dark lord#chosendark#animator vs animation#idk man i felt like i should post this ive been thinking abt them too much lately#Spotify
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Can you please translate this and include the photos?
https://www.aftonbladet.se/sportbladet/fotboll/a/wAzLgP/fotboll-mot-soft-hooligans-damlandslagets-storsta-supporters
"Call us lame if you want"
Meet the Soft Hooligans: "Not us who are stupid in the head"
GOTHENBURG. They want to support the national team with joy and love.
So when they received hate for their support, the Soft Hooligans were surprised but not surprised.
It's Friday afternoon, it's past 2 p.m. and there are a few hours left until kick-off. The rain hangs in the air and Sweden will host Switzerland in the Olympic qualifiers, as well as the Nations League, at Gamla Ullevi.
All around Gothenburg, supporters put on their yellow shirts and get ready. One of them is Emma Holmquist. She was in Brussels to watch the men's national team when two supporters were murdered by a terrorist.
- A national team is always valuable, but since that happened, it is priceless, she says.
Alba and Emma met in Sheffield last summer and have been friends ever since. They meet in stands around Sweden and the world. Sometimes they cheer for the same team, sometimes for different ones.
- To share this love for the national team with others. It's priceless that you can do that and that everyone is 27 regardless of the year they were born, says Emma and continues:
- I love my fellow supporters in Soft Hooligans. Even though I really wish that their team would lose when I meet them in the women's league, but that is also what is the key, that you can differentiate on that part.
But it all really started four years earlier, when a frustrated Estrid Kjellman was at the European Championships in the Netherlands with her mother, sister, cousin and cousin's friend.
- It was so very quiet in the arenas. When you shouted and cheered, you really stood out, she says.
The five women wanted to change that.
- I still had an image of what it might be like to go to football. How much it can sound, how powerful it can be. So then I felt that this is how I want it when I go and watch my favorite team, the Swedish women's national team, too.
Some inspiration was taken from what they had experienced in the stands around Sweden and at men's national matches while growing up and some from the Dutch fans during the EC.
- Even then they had such orange marches to the matches and it really felt organized while we Swedes sat scattered in different places in the arena. We didn't get any pressure and I want it to be more fun to go and watch football. So if no one else has taken this, we probably have to do it, says Kjellman.
It was also then and there that the supporters club's name was born: Soft Hooligans.
- People looked at us like we were hooligans and then it became an inside joke that we are not like other hooligans. We are soft hooligans.
Since then, the supporters' club has grown and now they have over 4,000 members on Facebook.
- I mean it really was a void, a hole. There was nothing. People wanted this and it wasn't there. And it was kind of only positive until the last month.
What Estrid is referring to is the hatred that came after the match in Gothenburg last time. A clip of the Soft Hooligans marching with a megaphone, drum and chant was mocked in the comments section. They were told it was lame and the name was ridiculed.
- I was a little shocked. There are still men who kind of really look down on women's football and the supporter culture that exists around it, she says and continues:
She is supported by Emma Holmquist, who herself is active in Linköping's supporters club Lejonflocken in the women's league. For over ten years, she has stood in the stands and she too has received both hate and threats for the way in which she supports.
- There are those who anonymously threaten us that when there is a derby, then you don't bring your flags and you shouldn't support in your way because it's lame. So I just ask who is saying this? Well, it's up to you to figure it out. But why shouldn't we support with our flags? We've been supporting this way since 2016. Yes, but it's for your own safety and they don't even want to tell you who they're from.
For both Emma and Estrid, being a supporter is about lifting your own players, cheering for your team and not shouting excuses.
- I want to be able to stand straight and know that the way I support doesn't hurt anyone. On the other hand, I can have all kinds of emotions at the match, but it is my responsibility how I express it, says Emma.
She feels that some people see the stands as a sanctuary where you can behave however you want, where you can let out more emotions than usual.
- And so it is. We release more than usual. You get that. I can't go into town and behave like I do in the stands. There must be reasonable limits and frameworks for that as well.
And there will be a lot of emotions today too. Not only because it is an important Olympic qualifying match, but also with everything that happened in Brussels in the bag. When Emma tells about the mourning ribbons at the collection and what the money will go to, it is immediately a man who, with the beer in his right fist, stretches out his left and says:
There is no one here who has hesitated to put on the yellow jersey. It is more important than ever to show the love for one's country, for one's team and for one's fellow supporters.
When Emma Holmquist talks about the community she has found thanks to the supportership and how she has seen the supporter group grow, it is with pride in her voice.
- Because we are part of it. We are part of that growth. The way we behave in the stands, the way we bring in supporters who are there for the first time. We take them under our wings. Just sit down at a table. Everyone here will take care of you.
Most recently, there was almost a fight over who would get to take care of the girl who showed up to attend her first soccer game.
- We won, we had her all night then, says Emma and smiles at the memory.
Despite the comments last time, they are marching to the arena this time as well. However, they do so in silence. Not because of what happened to them last time but out of respect for the victims in Brussels.
Kajsa Aronsson, Estrid's mother and one of the co-founders of Soft Hooligans, thinks it's obvious to go quietly to the arena. But when they enter, they should cheer as usual.
- That's why we're here, because we love them and we want to get to the Olympics together.
Unlike six years ago, the Swedish supporters are now united behind the one goal. The drum is included, as is the megaphone.
If you look out over the supporters, there are both young and old, men and women.
- This is not some small exclusive club, but this is for everyone who loves our women's national team who wants to be in the stands, and we also want most of all for you to want to be in the crowd, but you can sit on the long side too, that is okay.
The reason why the women's national team attracts such a diverse audience, both Emma and Alba believe, is due to the players and how they have built their profiles by standing up for what they believe in, for daring to take a stand. They are role models.
- Yes, I think that is super important, says Alba and Emma adds:
- I think it is also very brave to do that. When you come from clubs that are sometimes criticized for being funded by nations or people who have values that are less similar to our values and the players' values. Nevertheless, they dare to stand up. Some say it's a double standard. I say it's courage.
She raises Magdalena Erikssson as an example, another is Kosovare Asllani, who before the World Cup was asked about her time in PSG and Manchester City after she herself thought that the men's players should be better at taking a stand.
However, Emma understands that the men do not do it to the same extent.
- So it is difficult to be the first to break that pattern.
She points out that it has always been standard for the ladies to stand up for their values and use their platform while men's football exploded at a time when sport and politics were supposed to be kept separate.
- Do your job, play ball. But don't speak on matters you know nothing about. It's a challenge so I'm impressed as soon as someone does it.
In the stands this evening, it is Emma who takes care of the drum.
- Can we run something with smaller drums, I have to rest my arms a bit, she says to Caroline Gunnarsson, who is holding the megaphone.
But there are more who stand out, such as Per-Arne Svensson. He's standing there with a big yellow inflatable banana, like he's been doing for the past year.
- Opposite was a Butterick store and there they had a banana. I inflated it and drove it the whole trip to England. Wait a minute, it will be finished soon.
But it won't be. Sweden misses and after a disappointed "oooh" he continues to tell.
- Then it became an image and then we have run it at the WC this year. I bought a big banana, but today it died.
It has started to leak and for the next collection he has to buy a new one. He doesn't have much to spare for that criticism about the women's national team's supporters being lame.
Alexandra Carmblad has not been around for as long. This is the second football game she is watching live. The first was against Spain just over a month ago.
- It's fantastic, you can't help but be excited by the environment, by the energy, says Alexandra Carmblad.
She also prefers to go to women's football. At the same time as "Forward, forward, forward Sweden. We're going to the Olympics this year" chanted in the heels, Carmblad explains why.
- I think they put too much effort into the field and I think that supporters and cheerleaders are usually too aggressive. It's not really what I'm looking for when I watch football.
Sweden misses a goal chance. It is Stina Blackstenius who misses, but what follows is not a shout, but they run steadily: "Stina, Stina, Stina".
It is no wonder that the Swedish players love their fans. After the game, they go out to say thanks. Caroline Seger takes an extra lap past, Magdalena Eriksson likewise.
- I don't think they need to thank you like that, but it's absolutely incredible, and it means so much to a great many in the heel, and like everyone, they do this for some love of the sport and love of the team. So that they show that it means something to them and is really huge, says Estrid.
But they do and the players are happy to pay tribute to the fans who stand there through thick and thin. The ones who travel all over the world to support their team and who are always there at the home games.
And before the supporters leave Gamla Ullevi, they make sure to clean up after themselves. Candy bags and popcorn boxes are picked up before they wander further into the Gothenburg evening with a Swedish victory behind them.
- The Olympic dream is alive, but it is scarce, states a woman with walking sticks before she disappears into the darkness.
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what are some of your favorite rammstein songs? what album would you choose to recommend to others? if you're able to choose (i know it can be difficult to do with favorite bands, lol) i grew up only hearing one of their songs and your reblogs make me curious to branch out!
Hi there!! I'm always happy to talk about bands I love haha right now since I've yet to really become a part of the fandom and I only know one or two people irl that like the same music as me I feel like I've been shouting into the void lately so like, I am gratified to know someone's listening XD
I'm by no means a Rammstein expert as I'm fairly new to the fandom and the band overall (been listening for about a year), that's my disclaimer. But I've furiously been trying to catch up with their 30-odd years of history!
I'm guessing the song you know is probably Du Hast? That is the song that I grew up knowing as well and for a very long time was the only song I heard from them. It's a very... mainstream? song, I suppose, for their standards; catchy, simple lyrics that non-German speaking audiences can sing along to, pounding repetitive militaristic beat, great to introduce international audiences to this Neue Deutsche Härte genre that was quite distinct from American metal at the time (I moved over to European metal genres about five years ago after exhausting my interest in American metal, there really just seems to be a lot more creativity going on there). While it's a good song it's by no means my favorite nor representative of their level of technical skill nor lyrical poetry. Plus it was a fairly early song in their discography, and their sound has evolved multiple times since then, as all bands do.
It's definitely hard to choose favorites as I really love all of their albums and all of the various sounds the band has gone through. They continually reinvent themselves and remain relevant and fresh, and that sustained passion always comes through in their art. There's also like, songs-that-are-my-favorite and songs-I'd-recommend-to-new-listeners which aren't always the same. I have bolded my recommendations here so you don't need to sift through all this haha.
In my opinion, their overall best album is Liebe Ist Für Alle Da (2009). It is incredibly solid as a total package; their musically heaviest era I'd say, high production quality, long tracklist and they're all jams. Rammstein doesn't half-ass anything, but LIFAD is like a self-contained universe and the concerts that go along with that era had some of the coolest stage productions & costumes. 'Rammlied' and 'Ich Tu Dir Weh' are two iconic, classic songs from this album that I couldn't recommend enough. The latter is imo one of the best songs they've ever done and the music video is killer, and is an excellent representation of the sort of enchanting darkness mixed with beauty that characterizes so much of their appeal. It was the first song of theirs I learned all the words to, and the song that made me want to listen to more Rammstein. If anything, listen to that song first out of all of these recommendations! I hope it can do that for you too. It remains an absolutely mesmerizing song for me to this day. Rammlied is one of a number of songs they have about the relationship between band and fans, great for live performances but also just a fun heavy metal song to headbang to. The chant in the beginning is so good, I’ve got it on a t-shirt haha.
While I think that's the *best* album, my personal favorite is Mutter (2001). A solid collection of impactful songs that flow in tone very well. It just has a special place in my heart! 'Sonne' is a must-listen, also I think one of the most iconic songs they've ever done. You'll never be able to get it out of your head, and pretty easy to memorize lyrics too - it was the second full song I learned. 'Mein Herz Brennt' is a dark, intense, heavy-hitting ballad with a spine-tingling music video, a great example of one of their 'dark fairytale' type songs that are common in their work. Till Lindemann specializes in these sort of speak-singing melodies that weave a twisted children's bedtime story (others like this are Wiener Blut, Spieluhr, and Puppe, I highly recommend the latter). My personal favorite from that album besides Sonne is Adios.
Literally tho all their albums are great, and I don't know your personal preferences for rock genres so you may like their earlier or later work better;
Their 90s work is more raw, less polished, as I think I could say for most bands that began in the 90s when these genres were fresh and members were young with a lot of angst and energy! Those albums, Herzeleid (1995) and Sehnsucht (1997), are absolutely worth listening to. I would recommend the songs 'Engel', 'Sehnsucht', and 'Du Riechst So Gut', to get a sense for how that era sounded. (Hardcore fans don't get on me here, I love all the songs from then, 'Laichzeit' and 'Eifersucht' are among my personal favs).
Then there are the two mid-2000s albums Reise, Reise (2004) and Rosenrot (2005), which again are just, high quality, solid pieces of work. You notice I say solid a lot here, and that's because everything that Rammstein produces is of high quality; they're true professionals who strive to perfection and I think they really put out their best in everything they do. Three classic songs from these albums are 'Mein Teil' (dark and intense, about a real life cannibalism case, music video does not mess around lmao), 'Rosenrot', and for funsies, 'Benzin' (one of their classic blow-shit-up songs you can't help but love). I think some of their deepest, most poetic songs are from these two albums. personal favs include Dalai Lama, Hilf Mir, and Ein Lied (the latter is probably my favorite song they've ever done, but it's by no means a hit or anything, just one of those quiet little 'when you're lonely we're here for you' melodies)
Their two new albums, Untitled (2019) and Zeit (2022) definitely move into a new musical era for them, and again demonstrate their dedication to consistent high production quality. I cannot recommend the song and video 'Deutschland' high enough - you absolutely must watch the video, preferably as your first listen of the song. It's more of a short film, and I think it changed me on a genetic level lmao. Deals with the conflicted feelings and politics of national pride in a country with blood on its hands, and the video is one of the most aesthetically stunning things I've ever seen. 'Zeit' is of a similar vein in terms of being the powerful ballad on the latest album, also with a great video, a very moving, sad song about the inevitability of loss and the passage of time. (again, I love everything on these albums too, I already mentioned Puppe, which is A++. Schwarz and Lügen have risen to the top on Zeit tbh, but that's between you and me).
I'm going to stop myself there, as I could just keep telling you to listen to everything they've ever done, but hopefully you will take that upon yourself at some point ;D Till has an incredible baritone voice with a fantastic range of styles that he knows how to use to full effect to weave moving tales that will stick with you. It got me off my ass to learn how to pronounce German! I hope you enjoy the recommendations, they're very much classic singles but still decent examples of their various eras.
#rammstein#it only took me two hours to write this LOL#do i ramble? yes. but im also just desperate to talk to people about my latest obsessions and i got no one here bruh#how long before the fandom absorbs me pls#i really can't say i like one era over another tbh they're all worthwhile in their own right#but fuck i do love mutter
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Counting The Ways and Counting on You
This is a fill for today's @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt [#FFF166 Count the Ways] as well as my @tonystarkbingo Timeloops square.
Fandom: MCU/Marvel -- Pairing: Tony & Clint -- Rating: Teen -- Word Count: 1026
Clint knew that Tony Stark was eccentric - the rich guy equivalent of ‘pretty fucking weird’ - but he had reached new levels of weirdness this morning. First off - he was wearing one of the armor gauntlets as they gathered for breakfast in the common area of the Tower. Okay, maybe he was testing some new feature of the armor, which – considering the exhaustion plain on Tony’s face – was probably the result of an all-night engineering binge.
Secondly, he was muttering something under his breath; Clint turned up his hearing aid to try to catch what Tony was saying. “First come the scouts. You’ve got to get all seven before they can phone home. If not, then comes the rift - you’ll need Thor to tag team. Grab Barton first, though.”
The mention of his own name spurred Clint to action. “Uh, Tony? You okay?” He put a hand on Tony’s shoulder; he startled violently, nearly spilling his mug of coffee before turning his haunted eyes towards Clint.
“Yeah, I uh…” Tony trailed off; something his talkative teammate rarely did.
“You didn’t get much sleep last night, did you?” Clint kept his voice light; he didn’t want to sound like he was lecturing Tony. He’d seen how well that worked when Steve did it - in other words, not at all.
“Can’t remember the last time I got some shut-eye, to be honest,” Tony replied with a shrug. “But hold that thought and follow me.” He started heading towards the outside deck area despite the cool drizzly weather outside.
Then, out of the corner of his eye, Clint spotted something flying over the city skyline, moving fast right toward the Tower. Not just one something either - he counted seven. Tony quickened his pace, and so did Clint.
Although he could have sworn he’d taken his equipment back to his room after yesterday’s target practice, Clint spotted his bow and quiver leaning against the glass wall right next to the door, tucked up under the overhang and out of the weather.
Tony was already firing blasts from his gauntlet at the weirdly-shaped drone-things heading their direction “Oh good, you found your stuff,” he called out over his shoulder. “Take the ones on the south side, would you?” Clint shot down two of them, but the third one disappeared right before his eyes. Tony cursed bitterly from behind him. “I really thought we’d get them all this time.”
Clint noted it was the second time Tony had used that phrase. “What do you mean ‘this time’?”
“I’ll explain later, I hope,” Tony answered grimly. “Go get Thor and meet me on the roof. You should have five explosive arrows. Use them wisely.”
By the time Clint and Thor made it to the top of Avengers Tower - thankfully, Thor didn’t ask for any explanation, because Clint had no idea what to tell him – Tony was wearing his full Iron Man armor and shooting two continuous beams of energy at what looked like a tear in reality, its edges glowing an eerie green around a pitch black void. “Okay Point Break,” Tony shouted, “unleash the fury of the skies right where I’m aiming.”
Thor held his hammer above his head and Clint’s skin started to prickle; hoping his rubber-soled sneakers would provide enough grounding, he pulled out one of his Big Boomer arrows, and sent it right at the widest part of the rift. The moment it was in the air, he had another ready to go, but a great flash of lightning shot out from Thor’s position, temporarily blinding him.
His vision cleared a moment later, and not only was the rift gone, but the rest of the team had joined them on the roof, looking around in confusion. “Well done, my friends!” Thor cheered. “Unless I miss my guess, that was a portal to Muspelheim, ruled by Asgard’s sworn enemy, Surtur. If any of his fire demon minions had broken through –”
“I know… trust me, I know.” Tony panted, having opened his faceplate. “Chaos and carnage. Death and destruction.” He stumbled as he stepped down from the edge of the building, nearly falling before Thor caught him.
“Tony, what in the hell is going on?” Steve asked. Clint was wondering as well; clearly Tony knew something the rest of them didn’t.
“You want the long answer, or the short one?” he answered wearily.
“Short for now.” Clint broke in, knowing that Steve would want every detail. “We can wait for the long answer til you’ve gotten some rest.”
“Okay. Basically, I was stuck in a timeloop.”
“A time loop?” Steve repeated with a skeptical look.
“Yeah - those scout thingies showed up and buzzed around the tower. Then a time-space rift ripped open the sky and magma monsters burst through, followed by their boss. Probably that Surtur you mentioned, Thor. Giant glowy guy with horns and a flaming sword, right?” Tony waved vaguely. “They took everyone out, every damn time. But that Surtur bastard saved me for last. The moment he killed me, everything started over.”
“How many times, Tony?” Clint’s heart clenched at the thought of fighting, losing his teammates and then dying not once, but over and over.
“I don’t even know anymore,” Tony shrugged. “Dozens of times, maybe?”
“I apologize that I did not sense whatever magic held you in its clutches, my friend.” Thor was genuinely distraught, Clint noted; perhaps he suspected his brother had something to do with Tony’s plight.
“Not your fault, big guy.” Tony patted Thor on the shoulder “And now that the spell is broken, I’m gonna go sleep for - oh, maybe a month or so.” As they made their way back inside, Clint fell into step next to Tony.
“Why’d you pick me to help?”
“You’re our marksman and the best choice for downing the scouts.”
“Was this the first time you brought me in?” Clint asked, not sure what answer he wanted to hear.
Tony shook his head. “Afraid not. But it is the first time you had explosive arrows to work with. That made the difference. Thank you.”
“Pretty sure that was thanks to you, Tony,” Clint replied warmly. “Now go get some sleep.”
#writing stuff#fanficlet#flash fiction friday#mcu/marvel#Tony Stark#Timeloops#Clint Barton#Shameless Self Promo
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I checked on a trans subreddit I've been apart of for like, five years, and going over some of the threads reminded me why I've taken a leave of absence from the community for as long as I have.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the community and seeing how far people are coming up in their journeys or getting support with their struggles. However, some threads and posts just catch me off guard; namely guys asking for tips on how to "be a guy" or feeling torn about wanting to do things seen as "traditionally feminine" without getting shit for it. It has me scratching my head and feeling both confused and tired that we're still in a place where people feel the need to conform to a box or deny themselves something they like.
It makes me want to just groan, and just shout from the rooftop that gender is a scam and you should do what makes you happy (as long as you aren't hurting anyone). If someone has a problem with that, then fuck 'em. They aren't worth your time or energy. This goes for sticking to the binary if that's your jam too. As long as you aren't being an asshole by enforcing toxic roles and standards, be the best damn person you can be. If someone tries to force their toxic roles and standards onto you, they can get fucked. You don't need that energy bringing you down.
Just, what does it even mean to be a man or a woman anyway? I've been managing my transition for almost 12 years now and I still don't get it sometimes. I don't get why some people are so insulted by the idea of another person living their own life as authentically as possible that they need to be a bunch of assholes about it. Plus, what the fuck is gender anyhow?
No clue! Some days it's a blind bag of random knickknacks. Sometimes it's just specific, yet indescribable feeling. Sometimes it's an ice cream buffet with a bunch of flavors and toppings to choose from. Sometimes it's a dumpster full of dazed and confused raccoons. It sounds like a load of shit to me these days. Who has time for that? Not me! I'm not even fully sure where I'm going half the time and you expect me to know what's going on? No thanks!
That's why I'm just at that fork in the road with being over it, maybe apathetic in a way. Yeah, I know at the very least I'm not cis. Cool beans. Beyond that though? Gang, I just identify as chronically tired and a trash gremlin. Just some guy. A whole new type of guy. A weird little fella. That's me. Maybe. Yes. I think. Probably. I dunno. This probably explains that post I made a few months ago about pondering if maybe I'm somewhere on the non-binary side of things and that would explain a lot.
No clue. This probably meant nothing beyond calling out into the void.
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