Einstein's Theory of Relativity
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Fluff
Content Warnings: Large dog, mention of rabies, allusion to cheating, slight suggestive content, kissing
Summary: Spencer comes home to find you in a compromising position.
Author's Note: Decided to post a drabble I've had for a while, enjoy!!!
Feedback is always welcome!
Requests are OPEN
Usually, I was greeted by her face as soon as I got home, rushing to the door and
enveloping me in a warm hug that smelled of citrus and comfort. But today, I set down my things and looked around at an empty apartment. Even though it was illogical, my first thought
was to panic.
Did she leave? I knew I worked unpredictable hours and was hardly ever there, but I
always tried to make it up as best I could. Maybe she decided she couldn’t take it anymore
and left. Then my mind slipped into darker territory, worries I buried in the back of my mind and
refused to let out.
What if it wasn’t of her own volition? The BAU was no stranger to targeted attacks, especially on their loved ones. I kept a tight grip on my service weapon as I crept through the house,
using my training to carefully clear each room.
Finally, I reached the bathroom, where slivers of light were peeking through the door. I
sighed in relief, putting away my things when a noise caught my attention.
She clearly was not alone in that bathroom, and she sounded out of breath as she splashed with the other person in the bath. I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I immediately assumed the worst. I opened the door quickly, stepping inside and-
I stared in surprise at the sight of her wrestling with a large rottweiler, her t-shirt left soaked
from an unsuccessful attempt at a bath. She turned around to face me, offering an apologetic
smile. “Welcome home?”
I stood there dumbfounded for a moment before realizing what she had done.
“Where did you get it?”
She rolled her eyes at me, brushing off his concerns as if the 100-lb dog sitting in the tub was
just a guinea pig.
“It is a he, and he was wandering the neighborhood. I wanted to take him home and clean him
up.”
“You can’t just take dogs off the street. Up to 99% of rabies cases are from domestic dogs.”
She grinned, ready to dismiss my concern with a counterargument as soon as the words left my
mouth.
“He didn’t have a collar, so I took him to the vet. He’s not sick, but he’s not chipped either, which
means he’s ours to keep.”
I narrowed my eyes, not ready to give up quite yet.
“Well, where are we going to put him? Who will watch him? I’m halfway across the country most
of the week.”
She stood up, crossing her arms proudly at how much effort she had put into this.
“Our apartment is big enough, and pets are allowed. I work from home most days, so I can take
care of him just fine.”
I took a deep breath, running a hand through my hair as I tried to convince her that this wasn’t
the great idea she thought it was, but every time I came up short.
Despite trying to be rational, something about the dog made me want to just hold him close.
She sighed, pouting softly and standing up to move closer to him. “I just need a week to prove it to you. He’s the
cutest little thing. Please?”
I stared down at her, my resolve crumbling as she stuck her lip out slightly.
“Fine, we’ll see how this goes.”
She broke into a huge smile, wrapping her arms around me gratefully. I pulled her closer,
trying to take in as much of this moment as possible. I stepped back a few seconds later,
squinting my eyes at the dog in the bath.
“What’s his name?”
She grinned, clearly pretty pleased with her idea.
“I was thinking of Einstein.”
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[Image ID: Article from a newspaper reading: "how many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?" In the middle, there's a black and white picture of a longhaired dog.
The article reads:
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're worried about a stupid burned out bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeze let me change the bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeze, please, please, please!
German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
Jack Russel Terrier: I'll just pop it back in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Old English Sheepdog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a lightbulb.
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there...
Greyhound: It isn't moving, who cares?
Australian Shepherd: First I'll put all the lightbulbs into a little circle...
Poodle: I'll just blow into the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
The Cat's Answer: Dogs do not change lightbulbs. People change lightbulbs. So the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a message?
The bottom of the page reads "28 July 9, 2011"/End ID]
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11 years on and both Mango and I have come a long way. Mountains climbed, rivers walked, and all of the sniffs collected. Happy Birthday Miss Mango, 13 years young.
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