#Profiles in Villainy
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Profiles in Villainy
Dr. Doofenshmirtz
Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz (better known as Dr. Doofenshmirtz, or simply Doofenshmirtz) is an evil scientist hailing from the country of Drusselstein. He is the head of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, and he tends not to be evil in the traditional sense, but rather overly dramatic, eccentric and generally clueless. His usual lair is an office building that he apparently owns, though he's worked from other locations when necessary for his plans.
Doofenshmirtz attempts to wreak generally "evil" havoc and assert his rule across the entire Tri-State Area. Despite true dedication to this mission, nearly all of his schemes have been thwarted by his nemesis Perry the Platypus. Doofenshmirtz has become so accustomed to this dynamic that he tends to feel empty or even upset on those few occasions where Perry does not stand in his way.
The cad is voiced by Dan Povenmire and first appeared in the debut episode of Phineas and Ferb, airing on August 17th, 2007.
#Profiles in Villainy#Phineas and Ferb#Dr. Doofenshmirtz#Perry the Platypus#cut-out#paper art#Villains!
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One who is not embraced by this world will burn it down just to feel its warmth...
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A Dash of Villainy within a Hero, Part One
Some warning ahead for attempted kidnapping, non-con drug use (not on the main character) and attempted murder, as well as being stuck under a collapsed building in the beginning, please take care of yourselves.
Edit because I'm a forgetful gremlin: This story was inspired by one of the prompts @entrophiceffects sent in. Thank you for that!
***
In all honesty, being stuck under a collapsed building with a villain was rather high on your 'would like to avoid' list, though it was just a tick above 'being stuck under a building alone'. At least you had your mandated mask with you to avoid breathing in anything bad.
Sadly, you weren't stuck with a two-bit villain or a newbie or someone you could have brushed aside. Instead, you were forced to try and keep your distance – as much as the small space allowed – to Madness.
Madness was a very dangerous, very high profile villain. The sort of villain that came with a file big enough to commit murder with. The sort of villain no hero was supposed to take on alone.
You stared at him as he shifted restlessly, the pocket the two of you were in just big enough for him to stand up. Neither of you dared to move much though, and you had to admit you had never seen the villain as tense as he was now.
Madness had never once bothered with a mask or helmet like other villains and heroes. He had always blatantly displayed his face, though no one had been able to find out anything about him either. Not his name or place of birth, not even a damn picture anywhere in any records.
If he ever went shopping he did so without being seen.
His face, right now, was a rigid grimace of badly suppressed fear and you had no idea if he had some sort of claustrophobia or if he was scared of the building collapsing the rest of the way. Which, fair enough.
The only reason you weren't visibly freaking out yourself was that your best friend was right outside. Song was guaranteed to have left to go get help, which meant you just had to avoid doing anything that would disrupt the fragile stillness of the space around you.
You just had sit tight and wait and not think about the building that could finish collapsing at any moment. Deep down, you hoped it would at least be a fast death.
So you hid your shaking hands by pressing them against your slightly trembling thighs and you forced your breathing to remain slow and steady despite your fearfully pounding heart. The way The Defenders taught all their heroes to handle themselves if they were ever stuck somewhere dangerous and had to wait for help.
It was weird, though. The building would have never crumbled had your fellow hero Quake not misaimed his powers. Which was strange, like all heroes Quake had gotten thoroughly trained by The Defenders to ensure he had his powers perfectly under control. They were meant to rescue civilians after all, not endanger them. Or each other.
That Madness had gotten caught in the line of fire had been...unfortunate, to put it mildly. Or maybe Quake had aimed for him in the first place and had just...what, overlooked you?
You had to admit that you didn't like Quake very much. He was clearly interested in your best bud Song and was trying to flirt with her. Song found him nice enough without being interested in more, but something about him rubbed you the wrong way.
Or maybe you were just a bit of a jealous twat, since he never wanted you around whenever he talked to your best friend.
"Sit down," you said after watching Madness twitch again. "Take a deep breath."
Madness' gaze snapped to you, sharp and dangerous as always. "What, are you worried I'm going to do something inadvisable?" Ho boy, he was high strung. Not that you could blame him.
The truth was, you didn't really worry about him lashing out. While you had absolutely no defenses against Madness' powers – barely anyone did – you actually had the upper hand in the current situation.
If Madness made you go, well, mad, you were liable to disrupt the space around you and kill the both of you by making this pocket cave in. You, on the other hand, only needed one touch and he'd be out like a light.
"I'm not worried about you," you said, trying to aim for reassuring and ending up sounding just a little tense and annoyed instead.
It was hard to sound nice and sweet and calming while being stuck under tones of concrete and steel and glass and wood. Besides, this was a man who had left plenty of your colleagues recovering from severe injuries. You weren't really interested in being nice to him of all people.
Madness raised a brow and studied you for a second, seemingly distracted from his intense tension for a moment. "Curious. I would have thought you heroes would pick fights no matter what. Even when it's ill advised."
You frowned at him. "Says the man who messes with anyone's head." Just this morning, before this entire awful situation, he had brought his powers down on an entire street, causing mindless panic and mayhem among civilians.
"Temporarily," he said with a careless shrug. "Oh, don't look at me like that. It's not like they'll remember the nightmares I put into their heads once they snap out of it."
While that was true, people never remembered why they had screamed their heads off and ran away in a blind panic, they still got hurt. Madness might not break minds, but he certainly caused his fare share of broken bodies.
It was nothing but dumb luck that people hadn't yet run into traffic in their mad, uncontrollable fear and desperation. Either that or he was calculating enough that the chance of such injury was low. Low but never impossible.
"But people do get hurt," you pointed out.
Madness smiled and it looked more like a baring of teeth. "Isn't that what heroes are for," he said sarcastically. "Saving all these innocents."
Dark anger sparked to life like the sudden fall of a hammer onto hot iron. It spread sharp and fast and you had always been bad at holding back when someone pissed you off. Song was always the one to either intervene or soften you back down from the jagged edges that rose to coat your tongue whenever you got furious.
"I don't want to always be saving people," you snapped out and for just a brief second Madness looked surprised and taken aback. "I don't want to clean up your messes just because you decided to be an asshole."
"Then why be a hero?" Madness asked, shifting to adjust his stance, the tension in his body ramping up. He was ready for a fight. "If you don't care."
"I do care," you answered with growing anger, words hard and fast, like an animal snapping its teeth. "But don't you dare push the responsibility of your actions onto me."
You were ready to act yourself, as stupid as it was to fight here, but the anger bit deeper and sharper, spilling out all the words you wished you could say when days were dark and grim. When villains gloated and blamed and gaslit and did anything but take responsibility.
When Song didn't get out of bed, fighting with lingering pain after a villain had shattered both her legs and it had taken both multiple surgeries and heroes with healing powers to get her walking again. When you wanted to shout at people to stop being at each other's throat. To stop making their quarrels your problem by targeting innocents.
A muscle in Madness' jaw ticked and his pale violet eyes became a dark lavender, his power suddenly heavy and cloying in the air.
"And yet you heroes insist on carrying the world on your shoulders," he sneered, voice growing low with his own anger. "You meddling, self-righteous pricks. Maybe you should have thought about what you are actually capable of before you took up the mantle."
"And you don't get to be a piece of shit and walk away saying 'oh, but I only was shitty because you didn't stop me'." You even ended up doing a mock-low voice as you snarled back at him, your voice coming out with an intensity you had only ever been capable of in emergencies.
Madness lifted his chin, looking ready to throw hands, when there was the grind of concrete and both of you fell silent, nervously watching the ceiling. He coughed as some more dust rained down between the cracks, grimacing at whatever taste was coating his tongue.
You had a spare mask, every hero did, but you didn't particularly want to hand it over. Not to him, not to this asshole. But Song would.
Taking a deep breath that came out more like an aggravated sigh, you grudgingly reached into your back pocket and pulled out the spare mask.
You knew Song would have offered it to Madness right away, but she was always the better one between the two of you. There was a reason why she was your anchor and lodestone. Your compass when your mind grew dark and your heart wavered. When you felt like you couldn't trust yourself to keep doing the good thing.
When, for once, you wanted to pay back every inch or hurt you and your friend had to endure. When you wanted to take your pound of flesh from the villains, instead of having it ripped from your mind and body by them.
You would never agree with others that being a hero meant sacrificing, meant burdening yourself and living only to rescue and protect others. And you would most certainly never bend and concede to villains.
"Here," you tossed the mask at Madness, who caught it with the sort of startled expression that told you he had expected something dangerous. You didn't bother hiding the way you rolled your eyes. "Now sit down and play tic-tac-toe with me, asshole."
"What." It came out flat, but he did put the mask on and once you folded your legs to sit cross-legged, he ever so slowly did the same.
You drew a little grid into the dust and after an incredulous look, Madness caved. It became obvious very quickly that both of you were competitive assholes and you upgraded from tic-tac-toe to checkers with little pebbles and at last chess.
You were shoddy at chess though and no challenge, so you went back to checkers. You were on your tenth round when there was a rumble in the air. You easily recognized the sort of shift in gravity and density that heralded telekinetic powers and you breathed a sigh of relief. Help had come.
At the same time, there was a dull whirring sound from below. A moment later, the ground shifted beside Madness and very slowly and very carefully, a little robot dug its way out.
"Found you!" the robot exclaimed with a voice you could identify easily enough as Doctor's. Huh, you hadn't known the two villains were allies. "Come on, let's get out of here."
"Is that safe?" Madness asked and the robot made a little pffft noise, already burrowing back into the hole. It was frighteningly fast in widening it far enough for a person of Madness' stature to squeeze through like a worm.
"I'll drag you," the robot said cheerfully, small arms extending to grab Madness around the collar. "Let's go!"
"Bye," Madness managed to say as he was pulled into the hole. Just in time as well, for the rubble shifted, power humming in the air, creating an opening for you to duck through.
You hurriedly left the space behind and the second you emerged from that little pocket, strong arms wound around you, crushing you against a soft chest and tough armor, while big wings wrapped around you.
"Hey, Nightingale," you said quietly into her shoulder, hugging her back just as tightly, breathing a sigh of relief. Your voice came out trembling, "Knew you'd get me out."
"Always," she answered and hid you with her wings until all the repressed fear and worry and tension shivered out of you. Since she didn't usher you into an alley or anything of the sort for privacy, no one was around to ask why the two of you were hugging for such a long time.
When at last you pulled back, she asked, "What happened to Madness? Did he hurt you?"
"No, he got away," you said, which was true enough. You cast her a look that told her you'd tell her everything later and she threw an arm over your shoulders, one of her wings coming up to curl around you.
Her wings were beautifully big, arching over her head and each one was easily as large as she was. She always kept them tight to her spine when she was walking outside, to avoid the ends trailing in the dirt. That was why the two of you kept your shared apartment very clean so she could relax at home at least.
She led you out from the rubble sheltered corner and you saw that only one other hero was around. Gravitos, who must have been the one to dig you out. She was on her phone, talking to The Defenders, you'd guess, saying that no one else was in the area and that crews could arrive to clean up and clear the street.
"You good?" she asked and when you nodded, offered a small smile. "I'm glad. Man, but Quake is lucky the building was closed for renovations. Otherwise we'd have a lot of deaths on our hands."
Which would most likely cost Quake his Defender contract and official hero license. You still had no idea if he had planned to hit the building like that, but either way, the way he had used his powers had been negligent at best.
Gravitos accompanied you back to The Defenders headquarter, the large hero hiring company where pretty much everyone was under contract. It was for the best really, the company protected heroes from lawsuits – unless it was proven they acted maliciously – and offered all the gear, gadgets and medical care they needed.
After a quick check-in in the med bay and debrief with your superior, you were ready to get out of costume and go home. Song didn't leave your side, staying close enough that you felt the brush of her wing every so often. It was reassuring and calming.
If she strayed too far, you suddenly felt the weight of the building around you and you felt fear seize your heart again. You just wanted to go home, where no one would look at you. No one would stare and judge and you could sit outside. Maybe even sleep outside tonight.
"Nightingale!" Quake's voice made the two of you pause and you felt a fissure of irritated tension wrapping around your spine. Quake was friendly and, well, fine, but something about him irked you endlessly. Aside from burying you under ruble, that was.
He offered Song a charming, hopeful smile and while you would never hold her back from a date, she wasn't interested and you hoped he'd get the memo one of these days. Besides, he had once said that he found it weird that you two were such good friends.
'It's almost like you're more than that,' he had once said. As if friendships couldn't be just as meaningful as romantic relationships.
Song was your family and she had been your best friend since her first day in middle school. After moving to the city and being the pretty, tall, winged new girl, she could have had any friend she wanted, but the second she had seen you being bullied, she had taken your side.
You still vividly remembered the large wings, arching to shield you and force your bullies to back up or get whacked in the head, feathers fluffing to make her look even bigger.
No one had ever stood up for you, but here she was, defending you with unyielding ferocity. She had remained at your side afterwards, one wing always slightly extended and for the first time, you didn't have to worry about anyone tossing anything at your back.
And there she had stayed throughout the day and there she had been the next day and before you had known it, you had your first proper friend since kindergarten. Elementary school had been fine, but you hadn't really clicked with any of the kids there and middle school had swiftly become your waking nightmare.
Until Song and her steadfast loyalty and fierce friendship. The two of you had stuck together through anything and everything and you were a package deal. Both of you had made sure to haggle for team contracts when The Defenders had hired you.
Besides, while Song was fast and strong, her true power laid in her voice. She was one of the few who could go up against Madness' abilities, but she needed a little bit of time for her voice to unfold fully.
Which was where you came in. You were fast and maybe you were a bit vicious and mean when it came to villains. You ensured nothing and no one interrupted her, that she wouldn't have to worry about protecting her own back.
Besides, if people focused on Song, they forgot to focus on you and you had possibly smirked a bit too much when you had taken those folks out. It wasn't your fault they forgot that, while Song could sing an entire street asleep, you needed but a touch to knock people out or leave them unable to fight with your electricity.
One of Song's wings arched to settle around you again as she stared down Quake. "Sorry, Quake, we're on our way out. Besides, I think you owe my friend an apology."
He suddenly looked chagrinned and bashful. "Sorry," he muttered at you. You couldn't help but think that he didn't really mean it. Then again, you were too tired to go and pick a fight, so you just hummed something that could be vaguely interpreted as acceptance.
Quake immediately turned back to Song. "I just wanted to ask if you'd like to meet up later."
So he was finally asking her out directly. It was a surprise that he had waited that long, considering is somewhat brash personality, but maybe he was just a little shy when it came to romance. Or Song intimidated him, she could be just as brash in return after all.
"Sorry, no," Song said, wing settling more firmly around you, surrounding you in warmth and softness and the familiar scent of fresh air and sunshine.
"The weekend, then?" Quake asked hopefully and Song shook her head, not even pretending to think about it. You almost felt bad for him. Almost.
"No, thank you," she said more firmly and you saw his smile flicker, before he shrugged, pretending to be unaffected.
"You know where to find me if you change your mind," he said and quickly stepped back, leaving with a wave.
Song gently pushed you onward with her wing. "I was hoping he'd give up on his own. Come on, let's go home."
Song ordered some takeout on the way home, which arrived a couple of minutes after you finally were back in your cozy apartment. It was bigger than most people would consider necessary for two people, but Song's wings needed space and you didn't want her to feel cramped.
Besides, a hero's salary at your level was nothing to sneeze at, so you might as well get a place where you both could stretch out and be comfortable.
You spent the evening on the couch with her, sheltered under a big, warm wing and your comfort movies playing on TV one after another.
"Madness was stuck with me," you ended up mumbling as, at last, you felt your exhaustion catch up with you. "He was an asshole."
"No surprise there," Song said and you slumped a bit more against her side, your head on her shoulder. "How did he get out?"
"Doctor came for him," you murmured, eyes falling shut. "Didn't know they got along."
If she answered, you didn't hear her as you swiftly fell asleep. You did have nightmares, but every time you woke up, gasping for air and terrified to see a building crumbled above you with the heavy weight of impending death, there were soft, warm wings.
You clung to the feathers and slowly calmed back down. Song wasn't holding you, but she was close and snoring softly, both wings wrapped loosely around you. They'd be sore in the morning, but you felt helplessly glad that she was here. Keeping you safe in whatever ways she could.
*.*.*
Quake, while having gotten the message that Song wasn't interested, now seemed intent to at least be Song's friend.
Just hers, though, not yours.
You only realized what Quake was successfully trying to do when you started to back off the moment he showed up, giving them space to chat. It was clear he didn't much like you. Song started to frown a little whenever she noticed you leaving, a wing getting extended as an invitation for you to stay.
Frowning to yourself, you wondered if you were too clingy. It wasn't like you spent every day, all day with Song, but you were a team out in the field, which was perfectly normal. There were other duos or even trios or bigger teams that never switched their members out.
"Hey," Song approached you just as you got ready to clock out and head home a month after the collapsed building incident. "Would you mind waiting? Quake said there is a problem with some of the ceiling panels in the training room. Two fell down and one nearly nailed a training newbie in the head."
She pointedly flexed her wings. "I'll take a look and check if any others are liable to fall, so the training hall can still be used until someone can come in to fix them."
You would have waited for her any other day, but the two of you were low on groceries and depending on how long this took her, the stores might be closed by the time you went home. "I'll head out first and get our fridge stocked back up," you said. "Anything you want for dinner?"
She perked up at that since she hated cooking, but you loved it. "Anything you want. Your food is amazing." Your friend had let you know more than once that she would fully support you if you wanted to switch careers from heroism to being a chef.
"This shouldn't take me too long, hopefully," she said and with a brush of the tip of her flight feathers against your shoulder, she was gone.
You left swiftly and you were already two streets away from the hero headquarters, when you realized you had left your phone in the locker room. Groaning, you turned around and trudged back towards the building.
Instead of taking the main doors and dealing with people you took a side entrance, swiping your card to be let in. The side entrance was usually reserved for people who wanted to avoid attention, especially paparazzi attention.
Quietly slipping through the hallways, you took some backdoors and an old staircase to avoid running into any of your colleagues. You just wanted to dip in, grab your phone and get out without anyone stopping you along the way.
There were plenty of heroes who didn't hesitate to ask others for help with their paperwork. You could freely admit that most of your colleagues sucked at the whole bureaucracy part of the job.
There were always a couple of heroes stuck in their offices after hours, despairing over documents. Everyone who was done for the day or, god forbid, was actually good at paperwork, learned to get out of dodge fast.
Your quiet path brought you past the communication room and you tip-toed to avoid distracting the people inside accepting calls and alerting heroes about any disturbances or attacks that needed dealing with.
"Dispatching Quake and Nightingale," you overheard a voice say and you paused. "They are taking care of a minor disturbance."
Your nose wrinkled, feeling sorry for Song. That's what happened to anyone who didn't clock out in time. Though, in all fairness, if there was an emergency or a all-hands-on-deck situation, then everyone was called in, no matter what.
You snuck away, lest these guys noticed you and thought you could be dispatched too. You'd make sure to prepare a big dinner for your friend once she came home. You reached the locker room and got your phone without running into a single soul.
You were sneaking down the hall again to leave when you heard a heavy thump and grunt. One of the doors to a small break room was tossed open a moment later.
"Fuck, didn't know she'd be that heavy," a too familiar voice hissed. Quake. Pausing, you frowned and a bad feeling unfolded its wings in your gut. The same bad feeling that had helped you avoid villain attacks in the past. The sort of sixth sense pretty much every hero developed pretty early on.
Shouldn't Quake be heading out? Furthermore, shouldn't Song be with him?
You ducked closer to the wall, just as Quake stepped through the door backwards – dragging your unconscious friend with him. He was grunting and struggling, a wing catching in the doorframe and your heart leapt into your throat. You were moving without much thought and before he could notice you.
All it took was a charged touch to the back of his neck and he went limp, slumping down silently. You caught him and winced as Song fell from his limp arms.
"What the fuck," you whispered, hoisting him over your shoulder to deposit him off to the side. You were quickly checking Song, finding her breathing and heart rate steady. A glance into the room showed two glasses on a side-table, one empty the other mostly full.
Had...had Quake laced her drink? No, surely not. He was a hero. Then again...being a hero didn't mean people couldn't be massive pieces of shit. There had been scandals in the past, after all.
You heard more steps approach from the old, rarely used staircase and you were about to shout for help, when you heard a voice speak up, "He should have waited until she agreed to let him give her a lift home and he had her in his car. How are we supposed to get her to the underground garage with those fucking wings?"
What the fuck was going on here?
You hoisted Song up and back through the door just in time to close it as people rounded the corner.
"Song? Come on, wake up," you hissed, lightly zapping her, but she didn't react. Shit, she really was drugged.
You stared down at your best friend and realized that you had no way of dragging her away before that door got opened by the people outside. Song was heavy, for one. You only came up to her shoulder and she was muscular from long hours of training and flying and her wings were heavy too.
Each wing was as big as she was after all, and right now they were slumped, lying half open. Just alone getting her through a door would take minutes.
Of course you had trained until you were strong enough to drag her anywhere in an emergency and you knew how to deal with her wings when they were flopping all over the place, but that didn't mean it was a particularly fast process.
Mind made up, you swiftly laid her down her beside the door and hid on the other side. The door opened, swinging in your direction and you had ducked around it and had gotten your hands on the two newcomers before they could spot you or call out.
They thudded to the ground and you stared down at two people you had never seen before. They were not fellow heroes.
Pulling them fully inside and ducking outside to get Quake, you left them tied up and muzzled. They'd be out for a bit, but it was better to be safe than sorry. Rooting through their pockets, you found no ID, but a general keycard for the Defenders building, along with a phone on Quake.
Pocketing that, you went back to Song, gripping her and dragging her outside. You were covered in sweat by the time you managed to, ever so carefully, pull her down the stairs and past the communication hub.
You got Song all the way outside the building and into an alley unnoticed, panting heavily. Your first instinct was to bring her home, but...what was going on here? What if your home wasn't safe anymore? Hissing a curse, you pulled out the phone you had nicked from Quake and opened it.
The instructions you found on it were chilling.
Quake had tried to kill you when he had collapsed a building onto you. Quake was to isolate Nightingale if he didn't succeed in killing you, drug her and contact this number once she was down for the count.
Quake had done so, which was when the communication center had gotten the message that they were sent out to deal with a problem. Communications never questioned orders if they came from high up, but only then.
Nightingale was to be handed over and this device destroyed. Quake was to head to the spot where the fake mission was supposed to take place and plant all the necessary evidence, as well as blow enough things sky high, that people believed Nightingale had died.
That they had run into a new, too powerful villain unexpectedly.
It was recommended to kill you first if possible, so no one would question the story. So no one would look into it any further.
You stared at the phone in complete and utter disbelief. Your mind was blank and still for a long second, then something ugly and panicked rose. Something angry.
You pulled out your own phone, snapping pictures of the conversation, of the instructions, before closing your fingers around the burner phone and frying it so viciously it started to catch fire. Dropping it to the ground, you hoisted Song up again and started dragging her further.
You could not return home, but that didn't mean there weren't other spots you could hunker down in. You hotwired a car in a camera-free zone two streets from the headquarters and stuffed Song in, wincing at the cramped space for her wings. There was a reason she had never bothered with getting a license.
By the time you had Song safely in a little hiding spot the two of you had scouted out a year ago, you were exhausted and your mind had run over everything at least a million times. You watched her closely for any signs that something would go wrong as she laid on her side, wings a bit awkwardly draped.
Something was going on here. Something big and bad and it itched at you to go back and find out more. To question Quake.
When Song stirred, you felt ready to sag in relief and maybe cry a little, but instead the anger amped up a bit. When her eyes peeled open, you were perhaps crackling a little, so charged with electricity that you didn't dare touch her.
"What?" Song slurred and you leaned into her view, her tense expression immediately easing with visible relief.
"Take it easy," you said when she slowly managed to sit up, shifting her wings and nearly knocking one into you. Then her eyes widened and you saw the moment memory flooded back. Her gaze snapped up to you, alarmed and horrified and confused and you pressed your lips together grimly for a moment.
"I think something very bad is going on, Song."
*.*.*
See, most people probably wouldn't go straight back to The Defenders headquarters, but neither Song or you were normal. No hero was, you had all lost your sense for normal levels of danger long ago.
Song was landing on the roof, gliding down the last bit to make the descend silent and smooth. She knew exactly which part of the roof was a camera dead zone.
"Be careful," she whispered, reluctantly pulling back. Song was great at an amazing number of things and you loved her for that, but her wings were not made for sneaking around. She was just too big. "I'll stay close by, so don't hesitate to jump out of a window if necessary."
In case someone caught you, she didn't say. You squeezed her arms before stepping back and she took flight again, while you zapped the keycard pad at the door, carefully controlled, which caused it to swing open.
You were so glad you had trained and trained a stupid amount of hours to be able to do that.
The good part was, accessing the building from the roof meant you were closest to the offices of the higher ups. And someone there had to be involved, in order to inform communications about sending heroes out without consulting them first.
Imagine your surprise, therefore, when you slipped through the door into an ostentatious hallway and you saw a very familiar person skulking about. You had no idea how Madness of all people had made it into the hero headquarters, but he was either going to be a problem or...perhaps you could work together.
Just this once and no more, he was an asshole after all.
He was distracted enough that you actually managed to sneak up to him and when he did notice, you were close enough to press a hand to his back. A silent warning, to keep his powers well away from you. Considering the way he tensed all of a sudden, his muscles flexing beneath your palm, he got the message.
"Not sounding the alarm, hero?" he sneered down at you and you realized belatedly that the moment you'd open your mouth, he'd know exactly who you were. ...well, you had already dug your grave, hadn't you?
"Tic-tac-toe," you ended up whispering back, watching his eyes widen briefly. "You don't fuck me over, I don't fuck you over, deal?"
He paused, frowning, "Why are you sneaking around in your own place of work?"
You smiled grimly. "I guess that happens when someone tries to kidnap my friend from the inside."
He stilled, his head tipping slightly to the side and it became impossible to read his face. You could only tell he was thinking rapidly from the way his gaze was flickering between your eyes.
"Alright," he conceded and you cautiously, carefully, removed your hand. His eyes remained pale though, which was a relief. Then again, if he made you go mad, he'd just blow his own cover.
"Do you know if anyone's still here?" you asked and he actually stepped aside a bit to let you sidle up beside him. Which was so weird. You knew that sometimes villains and heroes worked together briefly, but you never had.
"No," Madness whispered back. "Everyone's home as far as I know."
"Then why are we whispering?" you asked quietly and he sent you a look like he thought you were daft. You rolled your eyes and straightened from your crouch beside the wall.
You knew where the cameras were in this building, because maybe you had been involved in a little prank war last year and you had memorized all the camera positions for the sole purpose of not getting caught.
Madness seemed to have decided to stick by you, for he followed you when you wove your way through the hallway, ducking into the first office. There were six in total, each double the size of your apartment, which was just ridiculous.
"Ugh, rich people," you found yourself muttering as you beelined for the desk and the computer.
The moment you sat down in the chair, Madness braced one hand on the backrest and leaned over to watch what you were doing. As the computer booted up, you reminded yourself to not be an asshole to the person willing to not rat you out.
"What are you looking for?" you asked as you were logged in. The higher ups had their passwords saved by default, it seemed. Either that or they were just lazy. And a little bit careless. "I'll help you look."
Madness was silent for a long moment, then he answered, "I'm looking for the Phoenix Project."
You had never heard of that, but you were willing to look. You found no information on either the project or Song on this computer, so you moved on to the next office.
You had to try all of the computers, before, on the very last one, you finally found something. There was one mail, exactly. It had been sent around the time Quake had contacted the person on the other end of the burner phone that he had Song drugged and ready for pickup.
And without Madness, you would have never discovered the mail. It was sent to an anonymous person, with only one sentence: 'The Phoenix has gained its wings.' Below it was the same time and place for pickup that had been on Quake's phone.
"Is that all?" Madness asked, still hushed. He sounded less than pleased. "Are you certain?" But his tone of voice said he knew this was it, he had looked over your shoulder the entire time after all.
"I think we may have to talk," you said quietly, mind whirring. There was something going on, something big. You leaned back a bit to look up at him. "What say you to a temporary truce?"
"Why?" Madness asked with an undertone of sharpness. His smile was unfriendly. "I thought you didn't like me."
You smiled back just as sharply and humorlessly. "I don't." Your mock-smile fell away. "But whatever you're looking into, they were trying to kidnap my friend and sell her as dead to the rest of the world. They tried to kill me too, back when that building collapsed, so no one would look for her."
Madness grew serious, the tense antagonism falling away. "And here I thought it was just my pretty head they wanted dead." He tipped his head again, peering down at you, weighing how honest you were. How willing he was to exchange information.
He stepped back. "Alright. Truce." He then smirked at you. "Let's see if your cute little hero heart can take the truth."
You wondered if it was too late to snap at his throat like an enraged woverine. "We'll see if your lying villain tongue is capable of telling the truth."
His eyes narrowed and you stared back at him, once again in a stalemate where you were close enough to knock him out before he could use his powers. You knew he was the more powerful one between the two of you, normally. That he could leave you a screaming, sobbing mess and you could do nothing about it.
But right now, you had an edge you wouldn't have otherwise.
"We'll just have to see, won't we," Madness muttered back.
The sudden clack of a door opening down the hall and voices filtering in made both of you flinch. You reached out to yank out the power cord of the computer, making it go dark.
Madness shifted beside you, looking ready to fight. "How do you plan to get us out of here?"
You tipped your head towards the window and smiled. "Afraid of heights?"
"Not in the slightest," he said, stepping back to let you stand up. He didn't look away from you and neither did you take your gaze off of him. "Why?"
You forced yourself to break eye contact and head to the window, yanking it open and hopping up onto the windowsill. You hesitated, then held out your hand.
"Are you willing to trust a hero?"
He stared at your hand, then glanced over his shoulder at the voices coming closer. It was impossible to overhear individual words, but it sounded like an argument. He looked back at you, his face impossible to read.
He didn't answer, just reached out to grasp your hand back. He allowed you to pull him close and it became a very squished situation, with both of you crouching on the windowsill. The ground was very, very far away. He was tense beside you, staring down, while you scanned the sky.
The voices in the hallway grew closer still and his tension ramped up. That was when you spotted Song ever so faintly and jumped, pulling him with you.
To his credit, he did not let go of your hand, not as you fell and not when Song swooped in to catch you, carrying you away into the night.
You were surprised that he had been willing to trust you at all and maybe, grudgingly, you respected him a bit for that. Still, you could admit that holding a villain's hand was definitely a first for you.
And, well. Maybe, just maybe, you weren't going to regret offering him a hand when it was all said and done.
Part Two
*.*.*
Tag List:
@those-damn-snippets @the-cash-cache @queenofbooknerds @14-lizards-in-a-trenchcoat @fern-writes-whump @bexterbaileyw @setsailforthestars @piperjistic @addrai @catloverlawyer @permanentlydepressedpigeon @tama-on-vetta @marateleam @transparentdiplomantlandgoth @cheesecakev2 @myst3rious-figur3 @warriorofbooks @aprilraine
#my writing#long story short#heroes and villains#pre relationship#superpowers#I hope this story turned out okay!#it was a lot of fun to write#so I hope someone has a lot of fun reading it!#this is a two-part story#we'll see where the road goes with these two#they both think the other is the asshole#song is just a ray of sunshine#ayo fair warning this is long again#but this is me we're talking about#so are any of you really surprised about that
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Hey guysss, this art is the first installment of a series of profiles I wanna make for each of my self inserts! I figured I would start with R. Marie, seeing as they're probably the s/i I've put the most thought and development into! A bit of backstory info (as well as the tag list) will be under the cut, and once more profiles are created, they'll also be linked with this one! Any reblogs and comments are all seen and appreciated!! 💜🥺💛
Other Profiles: Nurse (Team Fortress 2)
As a child, young Ruby Marie was lacking in the characteristics that begin most villains' tragic backstories; she came from a loving, middle-class family in a good neighborhood and made friends easily. Not only that, but she excelled in class and always had a good rapport with her teachers and fellow students. If things had continued the way they did, she may have been on her way to growing up to benefit society with her inventions, maybe even winning a Nobel Prize or two.
But all of that changed in the third grade, when the science fair project Ruby Marie had worked for three weeks on came in second place to a first-grader's potato battery. A potato battery, the most basic of science projects!! From that traumatic, devastating day forward, the young scorned genius swore that the world would never made the mistake of believing there was anyone more intelligent than her.
She immediately threw herself into the studies of evil, and the more she learned of its ways, the more she convinced herself that she was made for it. After years of self-taught villainy and perfection of deadly robots, the young kind Ruby Marie was long dead, and the cold-hearted, ruthless R. Marie was born.
R. Marie quickly figured that making their genius known across the world could easily take decades of their life - which were decades that they would rather spend enjoying their reign over humanity - so they devised a plan to get to the top in record time; they would simply ride the coattails of someone who had already been working for decades to take over the world, and as soon as that poor sod succeeded, they would overthrow the fool and take their rightful place as ruler of the world. And R. Marie had just the sod in mind...
@ava-ships @bee-ships @beetleboyfriend @canongf @clawfull @cloudyvoid @derelictdumbass @discountwives @dissonantyote @edencantstopfallininlove @final-catboy @gible-love-nibles @halsdaisy @hoppinkiss @hotrodharts @hyperionshipping @iyamifucker @lex-n-weegie @little-miss-selfships @little-shiny-sharpies @loogi-selfships @lovebugexe @mandrakebrew @mintpecks @mrs-kelly @nameless-self-ships @nerdstreak @paper-carnation @patches-and-her-selfships @p-i-t-s @reds-self-ships @rexscanonwife @ship-trek @spacestationstorybook @squips-ship @scroldie @tiny-cloud-of-flowers @toogayforthistoday @winterworlds
#yayyyyyy so it beginsssss (my project i mean heehee)#i actually have another one already ready to post#ill just wait a day or two to let this one settle heehee#anyways here yall goooooo im very happy wif this 🥺💖💖💖💖#🍒🧠: evil does it better#💜: the man of my schemes#self shipping#oc x canon#self ship#self ship community#self insert#self insert community#fictional other#crash bandicoot oc#neo cortex#my art
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"Probably the only other guy who has this kind of melodramatic diva villainboy property is Dirk. He never gets quite as nakedly malevolent as this, but many of his behaviors (performative suicides, intellectual aggression/pretension, self-martyring rhetoric) put him in the same category as Eridan in terms of potential for villainy in their profiles." -Andrew Hussie
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LMAOOO
Okay, he is full villain now. There is nothing left but villainy in that head, look at him.
...he's just now realizing that? They been said they wanted to save the people in Mantle, Ironwood, keep up man.
This is so funny for a variety of reasons, but the main one is Neo's profile pic looks like Cinder took it without her consent.
why would she do that
"You know what you owe me"? Ruby?
After all the shit Neo's seen and heard, she gives absolutely zero fucks and still just wants Ruby dead. Okay, sure, lmao.
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An Unknown Fan
Authors Note: I have been dead for the past couple months due to school just hounding on me and finals are coming up. I hopefully can get back to writing during the summer and next semester.
Request: Yes by anon
Pairing: Vil x Fem! Reader
Warning: Female Reader, you/your, she/her, & so forth
Sitting on set, Vil was scrolling through Magicam and somewhat listening to his manager go on about his schedule before checking the trending list to see a new name.
Clicking on your name, he was presented with different posts involving you like fan edits, photoshoots, interviews, and movie posters. The most recent one he saw was of you sitting in a chair while resting the side of your head on your knuckles with a confident smirk on your face. While sporting a tasteful outfit, you had a playfully confident aura.
Rising actress making villainy look good. This young actress climbs the ranks of well-known faces in the film industry for her acting skills, making her movie villain roles iconic and well known. With being an upcoming name, most put her together with Vil Schoenheit, a well-known actor who has always been called to portray villains.
Vil didn't read the rest before noticing you were tagged in the photo. He clicked on it to see your Magicam profile. You had a decent follower account and he carefully scrolled through some of your posts. It was a mixture of your personal and professional life. He decided to keep an eye on you, resulting in him following you with his secret account.
Over the next couple of months, he watched some of the films that you've acted in, and he thought you had excellent acting skills, bringing your characters to life. He thought the first post he saw was lying about you only playing villain roles, only to find out that your career was built off of playing villains. He believes that you have more potential than just playing the villain.
Vil was invited to do a Q&A for a recent movie that he was a part of which was taking place at a convention. While checking the venue out, he also noticed that you were also going to be there and checked what time your panel would be at. He had his manager buy him a ticket so it wouldn't raise any suspicion. He would get there early and hide himself in the crowd with a disguise.
When the day came, he arrived at the convention and was accompanied by his manager and one of his bodyguards in case there was an incident. They all waited in line before being let in, the seats Vil got were decently in the middle of the two sections. He sat between his manager and bodyguard then browsed on his phone until the announcer came out and started talking to the crowd.
When the announcer said your name, you came out to a roaring cheer of people and waved to them. You wore a nice casual outfit, not too professional or casual, and you sat down between two of your co-stars. Vil kept an eye on you as he watched the rest of the cast come out. Once everyone was seated, the announcer made small talk with the cast for a bit then the Q&A panel started. Vil watched as you interacted with your cast, being friendly, and as well with fans who asked you questions.
“Have you ever been offered roles that weren’t villains?’
“I have been offered other roles that were not villains, I had a director recently ask if I could play the leading hero in their upcoming movie, but I respectfully declined the role since it would clash with another project.”
"Mind sharing with the class?" The announcer questioned.
"I am sworn to secrecy until given more instructions."
“That’s something I wanted to know,” one of your cast members asked, turning towards you. “Why do you only play villain roles?”
“Playing the villain is more fun than the hero, there is so much more you can do to drive the story."
“Was there someone who inspired you to do this, or do you just want continuous villain eras?” one of your costars questioned.
“Yes, to both, Vil Schoenheit has played many excellent roles, but he is mainly known for playing villains that get overshadowed by the hero. As much as the hero is great, the villain drives the story further and basically makes the hero.”
“Are you trying to hide your love and admiration for Vil?”
“I will not deny that Vil is breathtaking and drop dead gorgeous, but I appreciate his skills more.”
“She didn’t deny it!” One of your costars yelled, causing the crowd to go wild as you smiled then shrugged.
Vil felt a little moved by your explanation of why you always play the villain, but that doesn't change his opinion on you having more potential than just being stuck in a typecast role. He continued to see as the panel went until the end came and then the signing panel started. He told his manager and bodyguard he would be fine, but the bodyguard told him that they would watch from afar. Vil thought that it was a decent compromise before entering your line.
He waited in line, holding a small piece of paper, and silently watched you interact with fans before silently laughing at how friendly yet professional you were with fans. Once he finally reached you, you greeted him with a smile and gently took the piece of paper Vil handed to you.
“Who do I make this out to?” You ask, ready to write.
“Put whatever you want” he said before watching you write something before pausing, waiting for who to make this autograph to. “Vil Schoenheit.
He watched as you froze and lifted your head up as he took his glasses off and gave you a smile, causing you to malfunction a little. He enjoyed seeing you fangirl a bit as your costars saw this and were having the time of their lives as they watched you freak out. You both shook hands and exchanged niceties before your manager asked if you both wanted a picture together which he at once agreed. You both posed as your manager snapped a picture of you both. You thanked him for coming again and bid him farewell as he left, dodging the fans in the lines who were trying to get a picture. Every celebrity has moments when they want to walk around in public. Once he reached his bodyguard, he looked down at the signed photo to see if you wrote something at the end.
PS I think you’re pretty cool.
Later that night there was a bunch of coverage about the earlier interaction from fans and the convention themselves talked about it. Vil scrolled through your tag to see you wearing sunglasses, but you had napkins underneath the glasses to cover your face.
The last picture of the collection was of you shooting a peace sign towards the camera, making Vil chuckle a bit. Once he clicked on your profile, he followed you and sent you a message.
The director I am working with is interested in offering you a part of their movie. Would you be up to it?
He watched as three dots danced around before seeing the message you sent.
Depends on, maybe we’re already going to be working together. Who knows I may end up being your villain? Can you keep up with my pace?
This was going to be an interesting friendship.
#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland x mc#twst x reader#twisted wonderland#vil schoenheit#vil schoenheit x reader#fem!reader#vil shoenheit#twisted wonderland vil#vil x reader
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What golden members look like?
Villainous Theory: Golden Rule Headcanon PlaceHolder Members and Real Life References, And What Might Happen In The Clash Between The Golden Rule and Team Black Hat based on that:
It's not revealed yet. I made some headcanon placeholder members for my fanfics based on the Villains in the show.
I also theorized that The Golden Rule Members are Seven Nobles but not all Golden Rule Members are Seven Nobles. (As Miss Heed probably would have bragged about it on her social media profile like her Golden Rule Member Status (refer to theory below for more details)
Villainous has reference real life events to shape their show. For example P.E.A.C.E is based on the United Nations. Alan mentioned actual real life events happen in Villainous.
(I also made this theory on Flug awhile ago.)
I theorised that Ringworm's Statue references the Angel of Independence in Mexico City.
(Image Source: 1, 2)
Hence based on this, it might be far fetched or I might be reading too much into this 😂 but, I theorised that The Seven Nobles might be a reference to the Seven Nobel Houses in Brussels.
I kinda imagine The Seven Nobles having their own table similar to The Justice League but it looks something like this logo from The Seven Nobels of Brussels, but instead the middle logo has P.E.A.C.E. logo, their own unique Seven Nobles Logo, or The Golden Rule's logo and each logo surrounding it represents their crest.
I also made a headcanon in article format based Seven Nobel Houses in Brussels on the wiki article on:
How The Seven Nobles of P.E.A.C.E Started,
The Power they have,
Their actions, attitudes and rule before the new P.E.A.C.E. Administration. (refer to this report on Adelita) (more details here)
Their actions, attitudes and rule after the new P.E.A.C.E. Administration and after the Golden Rule became members.
And their Downfall:
The Seven Nobles formed, since the start of P.E.A.C.E. and are a group of heroes who have civil, military and economic leadership over all the heroes in P.E.A.C.E.
Members of The Seven Nobles are responsible for defending one of the seven important P.E.A.C.E. cities which they are assigned to.
In addition to their judicial, administrative and military functions, the heroes in the Seven Nobles were also benevolent and concerned about the needs and well-being of the lives of citizens, leading them to even sacrifice them to sacrifice their lives in order to save countless lives and protect their city.
The long lived and rarely threatened authority of the Seven Nobles was based on a multitude of common interests they shared with P.E.A.C.E. as well as their selfless dedication to protecting the innocent.
However ever since the new administration of P.E.A.CE. , the current members of The Seven Nobles are reserved exclusively for the members of The Golden Rule and the leader of Seven Nobles is the leader of The Golden Rule (aka GoldHeart)
Similar to their predecessors, The Seven Nobles are responsible for defending one of the seven important P.E.A.C.E. cities which they are assigned to, as well as the additional Golden Cities under their rule.
GoldHeart asserts his team's advantage and authority on P.E.A.C.E due to his teams' memberships in The Seven Nobles, allowing him to have participation in the city's government and power and authority that superseeds P.E.A.C.E. authority and cities government, in his The Golden Cities which extends onto his onto his Golden Rule Team not bein Seven Noble Members. (such enforcing secure restrictions to as not allow the P.E.A.C.E. officers into their Goldne Cities without The Golden Rule's permission and having a reputation that the officer knows that SunBlast won't make it out there alive)
(comic translated by nightfurmoon)
However in 20XX, since the terrible events that occurred in the City of Cosmopolis, Villainy has increased at an alarming rate throughout the country new cases of villains committing robberies and atrocities for no apparent reason appear on a regular basis.
The super hero Goldheart continues his efforts to raise awareness about the dangers of villainy by leading a series of demonstrations in the most important cities in the world. (Golden Cities, I theorised)
But the fight against villainy continues everyday by these brave heroes.
The increased efforts against Villainy (including arresting several of them in Mictlán) led to an eventual clash between The Seven Nobles and Team Black Hat in the members respective cities.
The eventual results led to the downfall of The Seven Nobes and The Golden Cities.
The defeat of P.E A.C.E's top heroes caused shift in balance of power towards the Villains led citizens to fear the downfall of P.E.A.C.E. is next.
General Falchion is taking drastic measures to ensure this will not happen.
#villainous#villanos#dr flug#dr kenning flugslys#goldheart#gold heart#herbert leth#flug#villainous headcanons#villanous theory#villainous theories#villainous falchion#villainous missheed#miss heed#cecilia amanda kelly#villainous ringworm#villainous headcannon#villainous black hat#blackhat#black hat organization#villainous sunblast
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Vague Age Swap au WIP
Somewhat prompted by this specific ask!!!
Jason sees Tim's case file for the first time when he's 12.
It passes by as a glimpse while Bruce is combing through possible links between two separate attacks on City Hall, but Jason latches onto it. It's a kid his age between middle-aged crooks, and the idea they're put on the same level rankles something in Jason's gut.
Newly christened Robin-status be damned, he kicks the back of the Batcomputer chair and forces Bruce to turn and face him.
"What the fuck, B?" he exclaims, jabbing a finger at his face. "Are you arresting kids?"
Bruce, for his part, looks perplexed for one moment before it smooths out to impassivity. "I do not."
Jason takes to the console and switches back to profile he saw. "What's this, then?"
And a twitch of Bruce's brow betrays annoyance, one surprising enough that Jason pauses, head tilted to the side.
"Bruce?"
"I've never arrested him." he says, tone carefully neutral. "He's not linked to any crimes."
Bruce then leans back, allowing Jason to read the file for himself. He takes to it with a gusto, filled with curiosity on what would incite that kind of reaction.
The face that stares back at him is young, in a polished smile the way Jason imagines rich kids are thought to be on their father's knees. The photo itself might have been from a yearbook- at one of those fancy-schmancy schools that got a uniform with a fucking blazer.
With those impressions alone Jason still has no idea why this prissy kid embodying the crust of Gotham elite would be on Bruce's radar.
Curiosity gets the better of him. Jason skips through the personal information to go straight to case notes.
Seen above Club Vesuvius on 11/24
Seen outside container yard unit F302 on 11/17
Seen exiting S.T.A.R Labs on 11/05
Seen at Giordano Botanical Gardens on 11/01
Alleytown sightings on 10/18, 10/19, 10/20, 10/26, and 10/28
Crown point sightings on 10/04, 0/06, 10/10, 10/12, and 10/15
Seen at Trigate bridge on 09/14
And it goes on, and on. Appearances around rogue attacks, on the edge of weapons trades, just on different streets- always linked to one Batman takedown or another.
Jason notices the dates too, never a week without the kid popping up somewhere, listed out months before Bruce even found him. Present but unattached to any of the events he's seen in.
Like a distant spectre following the Bat's every move.
He scrolls further down, to any assessments Bruce might've made on this, because a teenager stalking Batman seems an awful lot like something nefarious building up to chaos, but he's hit with an extra authorization prompt for a code he doesn't have.
Bruce takes over the computer console before Jason can attempt to crack it, minimizing the tab back to the video coverage of Neil Murphy's shirt in a rapidly growing puddle of red.
"Who isthat?"
"Tim Drake." Bruce replies, in a sardonic tone that would irritate him if he bothered to catch the name before.
Jason still lets out a huff. "What's his deal? How is he following you so often?"
That brow of his twitches again, paired with a frown Jason's only seen when someone mentions Nightwing. Fingers tap on the console in a language unknown to the teen. Bruce tersely says, "He knows."
A pause, heartbeat spiking as Jason absorbs what that means. But even then- "Still doesn't explain why he's stalking you."
Bruce's exhale could be a sigh. "Not just me. He has a camera."
"Information broker?"
The frown turns contemplative. "No, not quite."
Then what? Jason's brain tries to piece it together, the image of a figure that knows Bruce's- all- of their identities, actively tails them, and takes photographic evidence of every fight they have. He tries to come up with any logical reason a teenager might do that. Then narrows those down to non-evil purposes. There aren't much.
Is he dangerous? Jason wants to ask. Everything here is a pretty big neon sign to the road of villainy. But Jason is still hung up on the age- this kid looked younger than him for fuck's sake! It doesn't make sense for him to be acting this out alone. And if there is a larger perpetrator behind this- Jason's thoughts go back to the kid's placid blue eyes, the plastic smile and steel posture- what comes out of his mouth becomes. "Is he safe?
It's evidently not the question Bruce expects. Another silence with that constipated frown of his. Jason's feet tap restlessly on the floor in the meantime.
It stops silent with Bruce's pointed stare.
"Stay away from him."
#jaytim#tim drake#jason todd#bruce wayne#roppie tries to write#this will not be out for awhile so i will post the entire scene here dhsbshsbsbsbs
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tuesday again 1/30/2024
a good 60% of my brain is screaming in unemployment terror at all times so these will be somewhat abbreviated until that situation resolves itself
listening
sleeping on the ceiling by friday pilots club. this is a song by a five-piece alt-rock band from chicago that could EASILY open for mid-aughts fall out boy. i would like to think it is from the point of view of a freshly-turned vampire. listen this slot isn't about the best song i heard this week it's about the one that got stuck in my head the most
Hey, I swear I'm okay
Honey, I been sleepin' on the ceiling all day
Yes way, like hey
I swear I feel great
Looky, looky, love the feeling of being okay
Yes way
spotify.
youtube
reading
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider and the Amulet of Power by Mike Resnick. it was in a dollar book bin and i got it as a joke gift for a friend. mike resnick is a remarkably prolific writer who's done a lot of tie-ins. i don't have anything particularly notable to say about his star wars books but they are a sort of minimum viable product? they feel star warsy and don't annoy me on every page.
this book was published in 2003 and treats the people of the Nile delta and their beliefs with all the delicacy you might expect from a 2003 video game tie in novel. i do think the twist is being telegraphed way too hard. perhaps i should say instead of sending a telegram mr resnick has simply set the telegraph office ablaze as a signal fire. the titular triangle-pointed woman herself ms croft is VERY insistent she's just as good as the boys. this is pretty on par for my experience of 2003 empowering womens' feminism AND my experience in a male-dominated field so i can't really ding it too hard? aside from the racism, in the notably racism-free fields of archaeology and video games and archaeology video games, this book is aging a little strangely overall. i do not know if i will finish it before i mail it out to my friend, but despite its sins it is a very fast read.
watching
watched the four dungeon meshi episodes. it's cute! ProzD was an unexpected delight! it made me want to make something fancy for dinner but alas i still have to go food shopping!
some posts on my dash were talking about how the episode with the mollusks inside the living armor really got them hooked and i have to agree. i also saw the full potential of the show's speculative biology unspooling before me. i don't know if i currently have the brainwidth for the manga but it is going on my reading list for after i finish berserk. which is kind of like saying i'm going to watch chopped after i finish up hannibal
playing
forgot i had an original gen switch, given to me through a complex series in a complex series of friend barters back in uhhhh late '21? early '22? i got through 3/4 of the divine beasts the first time around and then could not crack the camel. it was well past time to create a new switch profile so i could start a new game without losing the old one.
omg twinnsssssssss
i did forget how goddamn big the map is. i have just now unlocked the camera and the memory quests, i have not really. done much more than basic tutorial and beginning of game stuff.
making
anxiously junebugging between a whole bunch of shit. finally figured out the correct charger/extension cord setup for my bedroom. replaced all the fluorescent lightbulbs and took them to be recycled. fixed the hall door enough so it latches closed and an irritated cat can't claw it open. tidied up the balcony and patio and repotted the surviving houseplants.
in textile news, started this cross stitch. this is a Bless This Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy Star Wars themed sampler, i have made two as gifts and had to throw out a mostly-completed one i made for me bc of the moths. but i now know exactly where this will go in this apartment and i already have the frame and i bought all the floss pre-being fired, so might as well? the real bitch of the situation here is backstitching the buildings. it's so start and stop. it's so much tan. i talked about this on the weekly siblingchat facetime and now my brother has requested one lmao. that's his christmas gift settled. i suppose.
i had somehow forgotten how loadbearing textile crimes are for me. i haven't done much of anything since the moth debacle, and that was almost two years ago. last night i found some suspicious holes in a camisole and i'm really really hoping it's just cat claws and not moths or carpet beetles or any other fun things that eat clothes.
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That’s why I roll my eyes when I see Team Black/Targ Loyalist say they’re disappointed with the direction the writers took for show!Alicent because they “removed all her agency” and “made her soft”, you don’t care about that at all. They absolutely hate when Alicent does occasionally show her teeth. They go from wanting her to have agency to spewing the most vile misogynist things about how she needs to know her place and stay in it, which to them is beneath Rhaenyra, Viserys and Daemon.
They hate it because she’s not a two dimensional, cartoonishly evil woman. She’s one of the most merciful people on the show- out of all the main players probably the most forgiving, forgiving to a fault at times. She’s one of the only people on the show who actually shows remorse. She loves her children and her Grandchildren and she served her husband until his last breath even if he didn’t deserve it. They hate that she is a multifaceted character. I saw a post on Twitter today where someone who hasn’t watched this show or GOT said they need to watch for Alicent, to support her and you just see all these Rhaenyra, Daemon and Daenerys profile pictures trying to convince this person that they’re choosing wrong, Alicent is a usurper and Rhaenyra is Taylor Swift coded (yes they actually said that), if they watch the show they’ll change their mind and some even being insulting. They ironically act as fanatical as the Faith militant, it’s funny.
They act as if Alicent being a likable and sympathetic character is a threat to Rhaenyra’s character. And they hate that Olivia kills it every time and looks beautiful while doing it, so both the character and the actress end up getting unnecessary amounts of hate.
You spilled 💅. no comment on my end.
Taylor Swift coded 🤣 Ijbol. Quick someone ask the environment how they feel about Ms Swift. Lmao choice feminism really did a number on us 😓
Nah but seriously we could have a conversation on the writing and how Alicent AND Rhaenyra were both really failed by it at times in Season 1 but not when it’s clearly soooo disingenuous and despite some season 1 issues, Alicent’s entire agenda is pretty spelled out in the Green Trailer and it’s tragic but people can’t really grapple with it because then they’d have to realize she’s not someone they can purely project villainy on and it all falls apart in their head when they can’t have a clear cut good character and a clear cut bad character.
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Profiles in Villainy
The Kaonashi
Sometimes known as ‘No Face,’ The Kaonashi is a denizen of the spirit realm possessing tremendous and destructive powers. It devours other spirits and can absorb their emotions into his own soul, causing him to take on their attitudes, especially negative ones.
When The Kaonashi happened upon the lost human girl, Chihiro, he followed her around, attracted by her feelings of loss. Chihiro had been made a servant at the spirit bathhouse and when she inadvertently offended Kaonashi, the dark spirit went on a destructive rampage.
He ended up trashing much of the bathhouse, consuming everything and thus transforming into a massive inky blob. He only stopped after Chihiro offered him a dumpling which caused The Kaonashi to regurgitate everything he had eaten. With all of the gluttonous, greedy, and wrathful influences out of his system, he returned to a docile, calm state, showing remorse for his actions. He followed Chihiro to the good witch Zeniba's house.
When Chihiro prepares to leave, Zeniba requests that The Kaonashi stay with her as a helper and stay away from the negative influences of the Bathhouse that could set him off again. The spirit agrees, and stays with her as a humble and kind servant.
Though he never truly speaks, his moans and coos were performed by Akio Nakamura in the Japanese version, and Bob Bergen in the English dub version. No Face The Kaonashi appears in the 2001 animated feature, Spirited Away.
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Eggman Has Always Had Redeeming Qualities: Masterpost
Eggman’s always had noble traits. He’s still a bad guy, I’m not arguing that he’s a hero by any means. But he’s not some irredeemably evil character without any nuance.
1992 - Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (8-bit)
At the end of Underground Zone, Sonic falls headlong into an unavoidable lava pit. He’d have met certain doom... if he wasn’t saved by Dr. Eggman.
Yes, Eggman immediately drops Sonic into a boss arena where he squares off against his latest Badnik, the Pit Master. I’m not arguing that Eggman was trying to save Sonic’s life in the long-term. But this action does display a sense of sportsmanship and respect for Sonic, as if to say, “No, I won’t let my arch-nemesis die by falling and tripping into lava. He, and by extension I, am too good for that.”
2001 - Sonic Adventure 2
“As a child, I looked up to my grandfather because of all the great things he accomplished in his life. He was my hero! And I wanted to be a great scientist like him. But... Did he really mean to destroy us?”
Eggman opens up in a rare moment of emotional vulnerability to Tails in this scene, revealing an important piece of his past: That he’d always looked up to and admired his grandfather, Professor Gerald Robotnik, who inspired him to get into science in the first place.
But here, for the first time, Eggman has misgivings about his childhood hero. Gerald, it turned out, wasn’t the great man he’d always imagined him to be. He went mad and tried to destroy the world - a fact that Eggman contemplates somberly. He comes off as disillusioned with Gerald, and disappointed that he would ever sink this low.
2003 - Sonic Heroes
“Eggman is a romanticist, a feminist, and a self-professed gentleman. Sadly, his charms are often difficult to spot through the abominable laughter that accompanies his maniacal declarations of world domination.” - Sonic Heroes instruction manual
Sega themselves outright say it here. Eggman, despite his villainous qualities, has these positive qualities as well, which the manual admits can be difficult to spot because of his villainy.
Lest anyone think this was the addition of a cheeky localizer, and not canon to the Japanese portrayal of Eggman, there are Japanese character profiles that say the same thing.
2005 - Shadow the Hedgehog
When Eggman learns that Professor Gerald formed an alliance with Black Doom, he fears the worst: that his grandfather betrayed humanity in the name of mere research. This shows that, while Eggman wants to conquer and rule over humanity, he still sees humanity’s value. He still sees fundamentally selling them out to alien invaders as wrong, and morally objects to what he thinks his grandfather did.
Fortunately, his fears are assuaged when he learns that Gerald created the Eclipse Cannon to stop Black Doom, which he declares is brilliant. But there’s more from Shadow the Hedgehog:
youtube
Here, Eggman - thinking this may be his final moments alive - confesses the truth to Shadow about who he is.
Eggman has nothing to gain from doing this. There’s no selfish or villainous ulterior motive that could possibly be applied here. He tells Shadow the truth about his past, giving him closure - for perhaps one final time, during his battle with Devil Doom.
He does a good thing for someone else, and gets nothing in return for it.
2008 - Sonic Unleashed
Chip worries that Eggman might be starving Professor Pickle.
Tails quickly assures him that he wouldn’t do that, because he’s “not that cruel.” And considering Tails himself has been kidnapped by Eggman (back in 8-bit Sonic 2), he’d know from experience.
2013 - Sonic Lost World
During Eggman’s truce with Sonic and Tails, Eggman immediately and without hesitation leaps into harm’s way to save Tails’s life after a rogue Cubot-Crabmeat attacks him.
This isn’t some master gambit to gain the heroes’ trust, since he leaps into danger at the spur of the moment without any time to think it over. Furthermore, Eggman really only needs Sonic to stop the Zeti, not Tails. You could argue that losing Tails might have put a damper on Sonic’s confidence and made him less likely to defeat his and Eggman’s mutual enemy, but that’s not the kind of complicated weighing-of-options that Eggman would have had any time to think over in the few seconds it took to protect Tails here.
Later, he also rescues Sonic from falling into lava (weird that that specifically has happened twice!), and after faking his own demise even takes the time to swoop down and rescue Orbot and Cubot as well (despite his constant annoyance with them, he does care).
But why would he do this? Even discounting needing Sonic to stop the Zeti, he didn’t need Tails. And after all, Eggman gleefully tries to kill Sonic and Tails in other games, right? The answer is simple: They had a truce, and Eggman has enough decency to honor his terms of the truce.
“Ah, but didn’t Eggman betray Sonic in this game?” you might ask. After all, he did show up at the end as the true final boss after Zavok was defeated. But nope! No betrayal whatsoever took place, and I’ll tell you why:
Sonic and Eggman agreed to work together until the Zeti were defeated and the energy-sucking machine was turned off. Eggman didn’t show up in his Great Eggrobo to fight Sonic until both of those conditions had been met. Meaning, strictly speaking, Eggman didn’t betray Sonic or dishonor the truce. The truce was simply over, and he wasted no time attacking immediately afterward.
2022 - Sonic Frontiers
And finally, we’re here.
In Sonic Frontiers, Eggman creates a new AI program, Sage. Initially Sage is merely a tool, designed to protect Eggman and interface with the Ancients’ technology.
However, Eggman and Sage bond over the course of the game, culminating in Eggman coming to view Sage as his own daughter. That’s right: Eggman loves Sage, and sees her as more than just another expendable minion. This is by far the most blatant example of Eggman having a heart, despite his evil ambitions.
What does any of this mean?
Well, I’ll tell you what it doesn’t mean: It doesn’t mean that Eggman’s a hero. It doesn’t mean he’s not a villain. It certainly doesn’t mean he’s a good or even morally neutral figure in the Sonic franchise.
Eggman is a bad guy, and I’m not trying to downplay that or whitewash his misdeeds. What I am saying is that Eggman’s better qualities have always existed. Frontiers didn’t invent them out of whole cloth, nor did non-game adaptations like X or Boom (though they did certainly expand and focus on these qualities more than the games usually do).
Game Eggman has everything from in-game cutscenes to official profiles spelling out that he is - to use his own words - a complicated guy.
And to me, that makes Eggman more interesting as a villain, not less. I’m looking forward to seeing more of Eggman - his good and bad traits alike - in future games!
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Wait a minute, I just thought of something
So heed takes over the entire city in the series, a Villainous and manages to make everyone not fight for a couple of days.
 In the final chapters of the recent comic, it starts off with a guy in a chair, watching miss heed kiss Flug and he orders some operative on the phone to block out the entire city, so that no one can get in or out.
I was always wondering why peace would let heed get away with mind controlling everyone around her especially if they could’ve stopped her at the early stages, saving everybody’s time and emotional damage. And what was weirder about this was at the higher-ups didn’t want heed to get hurt in anyway. Which really didn’t make sense to me considering she brainwashed an entire city to worship her. Why wouldn’t they want this girl to have a single scratch after what she did?
but when I was about to complain about it on Twitter, I realized something;
Miss heed managed to get every villain in one place and golden hearts whole plan (or at least we know so far) was to eliminate villainy forever. What if this was all apart of the plan for peace? What is peace was using heed as a means to get some of the highest ranking villains in one place? 
What if Miss heed taking over the entire city was preplanned to get high profile criminals in one place so it was easier to manage the resources and time and managed to get most of if not all of the villains in a single city, rather than trying to get them all the old fashion way.
So when he does in solitary confinement, waiting for golden heart to rescue her, I think he already did. Considering there was an entire cities worth of people who wanted her dead for brainwashing them so putting her in a secluded area with no access to social media is probably the best thing for her considering it was most likely more harmful than good for her mental health
#I really hope this leads to something and isn’t just dropped in the series#villainous#villainous theory#villainous cn#villanos
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me gender envying demons in zoot suits fr
Penny Dreadful: City of Angels (left) — Natalie Dormer plays Rio, a ginger in a patterned zoot suit over an old rose shirt, and short hair styled in stiff waves on the right side of her head. She is one of several disguises of the demon Magda, in this case the one who riles the Los Angeles pachucos into revolt and fallout.
Good Omens (right) — a promotional still of David Tennant as Crowley in profile view, wearing an all black zoot suit (except the dark grey shirt and red necktie barely visible) with shades for his snake eyes and a fedora he adjusts on his head as he seems to check himself out in a dressing room mirror.
I also think
Magda and Crowley would set an entire country on fire if they were ever in each other's presence, thanks to Magda being the traditional temptress type who brings the evil out in human beings and Crowley just being a literal minor god who wants to enjoy life but was trapped in demonic villainy instead
pachucos and pachucas were clearly onto something when they decided on the zoot suit and global warming has robbed us all of the convenience of bringing this fashion style back
#good omens#penny dreadful city of angels#natalie dormer#david tennant#fashion#zoot suit#pachuco#pachuca
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Saul Wrong?
I have many controversial BrBa/BCS opinions, but the one that I always come back to is that Saul Goodman worked way better as a comic relief supporting character than as a protagonist of his own show.
I actually found him more likeable when he was an unapologetic sleazebag, it was when they tried to make me feel sorry for him in his own show that I lost sympathy. His pathological criminality brings out my inner Howard/Chuck, I guess. It's like....dude...why are you like this? And I don't necessarily feel like the show does a very good job of explaining it. At a young age he sees his father getting taken advantage of by conmen, and apparently accepts the (deeply morally cynical) attitude that the world is separated into hustlers (wolves) and marks (sheep.) His parents seem to have been totally normal people for whom he felt affection but no respect, because he can't stand rubes, and that's what they were. His brother Chuck is not a rube and is the family member whose affection and respect Jimmy seems to covet the most, though it's not clear whether he has any awareness that the very quality that makes his brother's esteem worth having (his commitment to an objective standard of morality—the fact that he can see through Jimmy's bullshit) is the one thing that prevents them from understanding one another.
Somehow the fact that Walt lived a (basically) normal life until his cancer diagnosis, and everything he does is predicated on his awareness of his own mortality, makes the character's moral fall from grace...more understandable to me? He obviously has a bunch of bottled up petty resentments and a sense of having wasted his potential, but I find his pathology way more coherent than Jimmy/Saul's. I think this is really because he was always the main character of a show, and Saul got a gigantic retconned deep backstory for the spin-off which, while enjoyable, was very obviously not the point of that character when he was created. BCS had to answer the question, "why would someone become like this?" but I wonder if there really is a particularly satisfying way to explain why a comic relief criminal lawyer would choose to work with a person like Walt.
I think BrBa did a better job of showing how Walt self-justifies his awful behavior (compartmentalization, projection, guilt) but Jimmy/Saul seems to have something missing (a sympathy chip? He's capable of feeling compassion for people he relates to, but no sense of seeing value in any abstract principle.) Why are you so obsessed with breaking the rules, dude? His brother is basically correct in their final conversation when he assesses Jimmy as behaving like a child who refuses to acknowledge the consequences of his actions beyond how they hurt him. Every moral consideration is made in terms of his subjective feelings. Him feeling entitled to a high-profile job at his brother's law firm when his brother had to bail him out of serious legal problems is really kind of insane.
Maybe the real problem for me is that Walt is obsessed with gaining respect and Jimmy is obsessed with being liked, and at the end of the day as a motivation for villainy in a man, I.....kind of find the latter more pathetic than the former.
#breaking bad#better call saul#saul goodman#jimmy mcgill#walter white#breaking bad meta#better call saul meta#this isn't exhaustive but i've been thinking about this for awhile#even the courtroom scene with kim just reads as him wanting her to not hate him#i will give him credit for admitting he is responsible for his brother's death however#i think i might've realized jimmy reminds me of my dead father in not a good way lol#i don't think i have a super high tolerance for really emotionally needy men#with walt at least it's usually played for laughs more than sympathy
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