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comradekatara · 9 days

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sokka, katara, and the paradox of “the gifted child”

something i’ve noticed is a tendency to (mis)characterize sokka as someone who is dismissed due to being a nonbender, when that’s only partially true. sokka is certainly dismissed by some for not being a bender (namely, by benders), but i think there’s a key difference between being dismissed and not being valued in one specific way. katara was valued by her tribe for being a waterbender for the very crucial reason that she was the last one left. had she been a dime a dozen in her tribe, which would have been the case were it not for the systemic extermination of her people, she would not be valued as highly for possessing this skill. that said, while sokka clearly does hold some resentment over his lack of bending ability, calling himself “the guy in the group who’s regular,” i think it’s folly to assume that this means that sokka was dismissed and discarded as “average” while katara was put on a pedestal for being special. because while katara obviously was considered special, sokka is also clearly considered special by his family, merely in different ways. and if anything, sokka embodies the archetypal struggle of the so-called "gifted child” far more than katara does.

while sokka clearly believes himself to be disposable and intrinsically worthless, i don’t think that he was actively neglected by his family. even if katara was clearly marked by her bending as embodying the last hope of their tribe, that doesn’t mean that she was seen as more gifted than he was or was designated as her family’s obvious favorite. for example, the way hakoda talks about sokka (saying he trusted him with leading and protecting the tribe when he was thirteen, calling him a genius, and other such insanely high praises to heap on a child) shows that he clearly views his son as particularly exceptional and has never been shy about showing that. sokka is distinctly insecure around his father for assumptions he makes regarding hakoda's faith in his abilities and his insecurities when it comes to his perceived failure in not measuring up as a man, but from the second we meet hakoda, it's evident that these insecurities are entirely internal and completely unfounded, at least in terms of his father's perception of him. hakoda is nothing but incredibly proud of sokka, constantly emphasizing just how capable and brilliant he believes him to be. whether or not sokka is capable of internalizing it is another story, but it's clear that hakoda is not stingy in his praise and affection, not even a little bit.

moreover, while katara is clearly kanna’s favorite on an emotional level, she nonetheless affords sokka far more respect. she admonishes katara and tells her to do her chores, and notably, she also impresses the importance of “listening to her brother,” and backs up sokka’s decision to banish aang from the village. you can claim that sexism plays a factor in how sokka views his own supposed position of authority, but kanna is a woman who traveled the entire globe as a teenager because she wanted to escape patriarchal impositions dictating her life. she’s simply far too smart to treat sokka as any sort of authority within their village if she did not fully entrust him with that responsibility. she treats sokka almost like a peer, as if she is legitimately co-running the village with a fifteen year old boy.

katara is only a couple years younger than sokka at most, but her dynamic with kanna is very different. on one hand, kanna clearly sees more of herself in katara, can identify with her sense of adventure and rebellious spirit, but on the other hand, it means that she views katara as a child to be taken care of, who needs to be reminded to do her chores and bailed out when she gets herself into trouble. sokka doesn't want to be viewed as a child, and so he does everything in his power to position himself as kanna's equal rather than her grandson. he takes his duties and responsibilities very seriously, and is obedient to a fault whenever he is submitting to any authority he actually respects, especially his father and grandmother. to be honest, a lot of what katara considers coddling is probably just sokka never being bossed around by their grandmother because she never actually has to tell him to do his chores. because despite katara's claim that he simply faffs about "playing soldier," sokka's problem is actually that he takes himself too seriously for her liking. and with the exception of kanna saying "be nice to your sister," which is the kind of teasing a parent says to their child, she clearly respects sokka's position in the village. when katara tries to run away with aang, kanna takes sokka's side and forbids her from acting impulsively, but when sokka is the one who packs supplies and plans to save aang, kanna gives them both her blessing.

katara is the only person who takes umbrage with the notion of sokka running the village and telling her what to do all day. and those frustrations have likely accumulated up from a lifetime of being told to “do as her brother says” and “why can’t she be smarter and more responsible and levelheaded blah blah blah.” she clearly thinks that she’s punching up when she yells at or mocks him, which may seem crazy to anyone who understands that sokka’s entire identity and existence revolves around being katara’s protector, but katara doesn’t actually know this. in her mind sokka is merely the perfect child who has always represented this impossible standard of “genius.” and what's more, he's absolutely insufferable about it.

and to be clear, this isn’t to say that katara herself isn’t highly intelligent, capable, competent, and skilled. she’s not only an incredibly talented waterbender, but also clever, quick, witty, creative, resourceful, practical, mature, and thoughtful in other ways. at one point, toph calls her a genius (“a stinky, sweaty genius”). and she is, indeed, an extremely powerful and innovative waterbender, both due to her hard work, but also because she is genuinely brilliant. that said, she’s smart in the realistic way that a kid is smart; she works hard to be good at what she cares about (and she has an existentially devastating reason to care about being a good waterbender, mind you), and she’s also good at thinking on the fly when she needs to. however, unlike sokka, or even toph, her intellect may be impressive, but it isn’t astonishing. sokka’s mind functions completely anomalously. i wouldn't say he's unrealistically intelligent, because i do know some people in real life who are similarly adept at processing all kinds of different information with the ability to deftly apply it near-immediately, but it is certainly abnormal, both for real world standards and within his universe.

i normally bristle at this term and its applications (for multiple reasons), but since it is explicitly stated multiple times across the show, it is important to acknowledge that sokka is referred to as a genius multiple times, including by his father. katara is referred to as being a genius by toph for using her own sweat to waterbend (which, as hama points out an episode later, isn't even that clever because you can literally bend water from the air around you); conversely, sokka is referred to as a genius for helping to invent hot air balloons and for figuring out multiple escape routes from the world's most secure prison in less than a day. we don't know the exact timeframe under which katara trained with pakku and earned the title of master, but she clearly worked incredibly hard to earn that title, not only as a master, but as the greatest waterbender in the entire world. i assume it was any time between a few weeks and a little over a month in which zhao would organize a fleet to arrive at the north pole, which is, of course, extremely impressive in itself and a testament to her passion and determination. however, on the other hand, piandao claims that sokka has basically mastered the sword and is ready to make his own within less than a day. it's important to remember that katara is also brilliant in her own way, and possesses great skills that sokka lacks: not only bending, but also midwifery, and an ability to locate her own emotions and allow herself to be vulnerable with others, two skills which should never be looked down upon for their association with womanhood and femininity, and are also particularly impressive considering just how young katara is. she is brilliant in her own right, and in any other family, katara would easily have been "the smart one." and yet, sokka is simply in a league of his own.

so, yeah, he can stand to get thrown around and yelled at; everyone her entire childhood just kept on impressing how special and perfect and brilliant he is, he can handle it. she has no idea that he is depressed, depersonalizes, loathes himself, and thinks he’ll never be good enough, because he never actually communicates any of that to her. the closest he ever comes is admitting that he’s jealous due to not having bending abilities, and even that shocks katara, even though it’s such a small and obvious admission in the scheme of things. she has no idea what’s going on with him psychologically, how he views himself in relation to others, and specifically in relation to her, so she kind of just assumes he’s entitled because surely he must know how special he is and thus feels owed accolades by the world at every turn. he deserves to be humbled, and she is in fact righteous for humbling him.

when she makes fun of him for being stupid or miserable or paranoid or cynical, she thinks she’s owning him the way a righteous underdog fights against an oppressor. it's similar to how zuko wants to "put azula in her place." in katara and zuko's minds, they are both the valiant underdog siblings who had to fight and struggle against the siblings for whom everything came so easily. and in katara’s mind especially, she is always punching up, and she always has a moral justification in lashing out at anyone she pleases. so she couldn’t fathom that the reason sokka puts up with her antagonism without complaint isn’t because he’s so above her that he can simply ignore her taunts and gibes without a care (if that were the case, he wouldn't bother to taunt and gibe in return), but rather that he feels so detached from his own personhood that he would never think to actually explain his feelings to the person whom he has defined himself through since childhood. and if he did ever, somehow, communicate that to her, she’d have to reevaluate their whole entire lives and dynamic. but he never will communicate that to her, so she’ll never actually have to do that.

moreover, even though katara often does tease sokka and cast doubt upon his competence and abilities in low-stakes situations constantly, whenever they are actually facing a real problem that requires an immediate solution, katara seems to forget that sokka is supposedly an unhelpful, lazy, immature idiot because she immediately turns to him to fix all their issues. and then once that issue is resolved, katara goes back to finding his existence bothersome. sokka, on the other hand, falls into this role of problem solver instinctually, with the one exception that when they actually name him as the idea guy, he jokingly complains that it’s a lot of pressure to be one who is always expected to come up with solutions. and while he is joking during that conversation in “the drill,” he’s being honest to an extent, because his perfectionism and fear of failure is truly dire.

when katara is faced with failure, whether as the consequences for her own actions or otherwise, she simply gets back up and tries again. she can’t be knocked down, she can’t be deterred from achieving her goals. she has a very healthy approach to making mistakes, and while she doesn’t always learn from them in the longterm, she does always try her best to fix them and amend the situation as immediately as possible. katara is someone who is incredibly resilient and is constantly demonstrating the sheer magnitude of her inner strength, especially in particularly difficult moments. she has the ability to fail as many times as it takes without letting that failure affect her own self-esteem or desire to keep striving for what she believes in.

sokka, on the other hand, is very physically resilient (he gets beat up a lot), but his emotional resilience is actually quite pathetic. he has no tools for coping with failure. from even the slightest mistake, like not actually being able to open the doors at the fire temple with his makeshift explosives, to a catastrophic one, like his failed invasion, sokka immediately retreats inward. in “the boiling rock,” sokka demonstrates how his first ever real failure that rests squarely on his own shoulders is so devastating to him that he becomes totally irrational and suicidal in an attempt to “rectify” the situation. he does not know how to cope with failure, because he expects himself to be perfect at all times. and it’s not because sokka is overly proud, but rather that his guilt complex is so profound that he blames himself for every single thing that goes awry at all times, even when it isn’t actually his fault whatsoever. so that guilt and shame is magnified a thousand fold when sokka is actually culpable for those losses.

one of many ways in which it is evident that sokka is the older sibling is that he clearly lives with the mentality that if katara messes up or gets herself in danger due to her own impulsive inclinations, it’s always actually sokka’s fault for not being a better, more attentive brother. when she sets off the booby trap in the banned ship, sokka banishes aang from the village so as to protect katara from herself. when katara experiences the consequences of heedlessly blowing up a factory, sokka gets mad at her for her recklessness, but also immediately finds a way to help her fix this situation, because that’s his job, and in fact, his primary purpose on this earth. this is a dynamic sokka has probably internalized even before he was assigned the role of her sworn protector, because that’s just how being the eldest is.

sokka’s tendency to take responsibility for everyone else’s mistakes and his desire to shoulder everyone else’s pain at all times, coupled with his implicit belief that he, uniquely, cannot afford to mess up ever (if other people make mistakes it’s fine and he can help them fix it, but if he makes mistakes he no longer has a purpose on this planet, goodbye cruel world), definitely indicates that he was held to an incredibly high standard all his life. he expects himself to be able to handle a lot of responsibility with perfect ease because he always has. he isn’t used to making mistakes of any kind. if he puts his mind into learning a new skill, he always masters it within a couple of days, whatever that skill happens to be. unlike katara, sokka is used to things coming easily to him, and what he isn’t used to is failure.

katara and sokka are both exceptional, of course, but in very different ways, and for very different reasons. katara grew up with a lot of external pressure to excel as a waterbender, because she needs to embody her cultural legacy and prove that her mother’s sacrifice was not in vain. it’s an unfathomable burden to place on a child, and the rate at which she improves her waterbending once she is actually given the resources to hone her skills is a testament to her perseverance and untiring dedication. katara becomes the greatest waterbender in the world not because she is a natural prodigy (which is something she bristles at when aang does display prodigious skill), but because she is incredibly determined and no one can outmatch the strength of her heart and unshakable commitment when she is pursuing a goal. as pakku even says, raw talent isn’t everything, and katara’s abilities prove that despite not being “naturally gifted,” hard work and determination is far more important when it comes to excelling in any given domain.

however, if katara’s motivation to be excellent is externally imposed by the tragic circumstances of her life, sokka’s motivations are, at the very least, internally maintained. as aforementioned, i have no doubt that he received a lot of external validation and praise from the adults in his life as a child with a dazzling, brilliant mind. as has been established, sokka is constantly displaying an ability to synthesize new information at a staggering rate, which likely means that before katara had even discovered her ability to waterbend, sokka was probably being fawned over for the impressive rate at which he was picking up new skills as a baby. since pretty much everything (cerebral, at least) comes easily to sokka, i can only imagine that hakoda, who never hesitates to express to his children how proud he is of them, would constantly affirm sokka’s intellect. and by boasting that sokka takes after himself (hakoda also refers to himself as a genius, completely sincerely), he unwittingly plants the first seeds in fostering sokka’s belief that he must be exactly like his father in every way, and that any deviation from hakoda’s image would prove him unworthy. but he will never be the spitting image of hakoda the way that katara is "the spitting image of kanna" because sokka is already the spitting image of kya, if not – perish the thought – his own person entirely.

unlike katara, who spent her whole childhood trying to waterbend by herself with little success (beyond, of course, isolated instances demonstrating her sheer raw power when her bending was being influenced by her incredibly strong and passionate emotions), sokka always felt like he could handle the amount of responsibility he was given, because everything came easily to him. until the day that his life changed forever, and suddenly the stakes were no longer abstract, but tangible and personally devastating. sokka had never learned that it was okay to fail as a child because he never had a reason to, and then suddenly, he could not afford to fail under any circumstances. failure of any kind went from being a (purely hypothetical) blow to the ego, to being something that could directly endanger the lives of his loved ones. and so sokka decides that the only way to not be culpable for his potential failures is to be a martyr.

of course, there are instances in which sokka is proven to be inept, such as on kyoshi island or with piandao, wherein his humility and open-mindedness are put on display and sokka puts aside his own standards of perfection to learn from a master, but i don't think these instances qualify as failures. for one thing, sokka happens to master the forms he is being taught in less than a day, at an unprecedented rate, and thus these initially humiliating blindspots in his knowledge become victories as sokka absorbs new knowledge. sokka is always eager to learn, and willing to acknowledge his lack of expertise in area, humbling himself to learn from others any chance he gets. no, what i mean by "failure" as it relates to sokka's self-perception and ego is not a lack of knowledge, but an inability to protect another. to sokka, his existence is defined by his ability to provide and protect, and thus, a failure is, specifically, when someone gets hurt under his watch. that is what it means to not be able to afford to fail. he is not overly proud (if anything he is overly insecure), but he also understands that the stakes of failure – real failure – are tangible.

so when it comes to failure that carries grave consequences, he would rather be dead than fallible (or, responsible for not adequately protecting his loved ones), one million times over. and so every time someone makes a sacrifice for him, he feels as if he has failed on a fundamental level, because simply being exceptional is not enough, he must also bear the entire world’s suffering alone – as (in his mind) hakoda instructed him to when he left him behind to protect and provide for the village. otherwise he has failed in his promise to be needed, which is his raison d’être. sokka’s complex is very obviously not informed solely by his upbringing as a “gifted kid,” and in fact largely informed by the dehumanizing logic of war as it necessitates sacrifice, but his inability to accept his own fallibility as a product of his self-dehumanization is, at the very least, compounded by his debilitating perfectionism.

thus, katara and sokka's dynamic within their family isn’t “gifted kid and neglected kid,” but rather “two gifted kids who are gifted in different ways, one of those ways being valued more on a cultural level due to its scarcity as a byproduct of genocide.” while katara was put on a pedestal her entire life due to her ability to waterbend, it doesn’t mean that sokka wasn’t put on a pedestal in other ways. if anything, the reason hakoda entrusted a child with the burdens he did was specifically because he put his son on a pedestal. sokka assumes that hakoda didn't think he was capable enough to join his army, but that couldn't be further from the truth. hakoda trusted his thirteen year old son so much that he genuinely thought it best to leave him alone with this duty to defend his village and protect katara at all costs. he didn't leave a single man behind, not even the other teenage boys, because that's how much faith he had in a child to take his responsibilities seriously and perform them competently. and if that decision gave sokka one million different complexes and fucked him up for life, it wasn’t because he wasn’t valued for his abilities, it’s because he was overvalued and given too much responsibility at too young an age.

both he and katara struggled to live up to the expectations placed on them, forced to fulfill the roles of their parents instead of being allowed to exist as children. but crucially, katara sees the injustice in that, and clings to her childhood even as she strives for greatness, and sokka simply doesn't. he's long accepted that injustice, and in fact feels guilty that he cannot better live up to the impossible portrait of an idolized father, an idealized masculinity, an illusory model of the infallible, unshakeable warrior. despite all his achievements and natural giftedness, he nonetheless feels totally inadequate, deeply flawed, and ontologically worthless. perhaps, in a world beyond the pressures of war and its dehumanizing logic, sokka would have internalized the praise he was constantly receiving his whole life for his gifts. but since he was only ever a prodigy in ways that didn’t matter (within that colonized paradigm), he doesn’t actually care about how clever and brilliant and creative and talented and unique and special he is, because that would first require him to see himself as fully human, and he can’t even do that.

#analysis #sokka #katara #katara&sokka #hakoda #kanna #kya #hakoda&sokka #kanna&sokka #kya&sokka #kanna&katara #whew...! 20+ paragraphs about sokka and katara’s childhood. it’s more likely than u think (highly likely at all times)#see but this is why sokka is so clearly a mirror to azula to me #like not just in terms of crippling perfectionism and devastating fear of failure and being a child prodigy who is put on a pedestal #but simultaneously dehumanized etc etc #but also the fact that like. zuko treats her the same way katara treats sokka #he clearly thinks his immediate hostility and aggression towards her is like. him nobly fighting the battle against his tormentor #when that is literally his little sister and she is struggling so much and desperate for support from LITERALLY ANYONE #katara and zuko are like ‘let’s put azula in her place’ and high five #and that’s just so fucking apt because they truly do believe that it’s their duty to put their perfect prodigy siblings ‘in their place’#but those are truly two of the most miserable people on the planet #so to any outside observers it’s just like………. why are you being mean to them they’re literally suicidal and shaking like a leaf #but also everyone already knows that azula is the prodigious gifted sibling bc zuko says it like one million times #so there’s rly no need to argue that #whereas katara loves calling sokka an idiot so i do believe that some clarification is in order #but like. yeah there’s no way sokka was dismissed or neglected as a child #he’s dismissed and neglected by the world at large #but within his tribe he’s like a mini celebrity . he’s their young sheldon (sorry)#anyway im running out of room to write tags but um. perfectionism is a disease get well soon xoxo bye

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aimseytv · 1 year

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#screenshots from my last stream #i thought it was pretty #i like to imagine oaimsey placing the camera behind them on a 10s timer and sprinting into position so it captures them against the light #and then retaking it twenty times because 'it doesnt look right'#but taking a picture of the night sky only once #because the sky is always perfect #and they will never get sick of the sky in the overworld #sleeping under the enderian sky is mundane to them now #but there are nights where they just stare up at the night sky in the overworld #counting the stars and tracing patterns #and #wait i just realised as i was writing this every one of my characters has an obsession with the sky #and the way in which the planets move and the stars and the sun and the sunsets #what have i done #continutity #is key #hahahaha #okay im done #sorry

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kyokutsu-sama · 3 months

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Violins Playing

A/n: This was one of my first works for him that I post here, I'm posting more in a collection I'm writing on ao3 if you want to read it too. (To be clear, I'm a Chrollo stan and I dedicate this to those who love him too🤭)

Before you start reading, I recommend that you listen to classical music in the background please😊

Tw: Nsfw content below

Of all the things Chrollo had given you in life, this would definitely be one you'll never forget. Watching an orchestra play, that sounded good, you loved classical music and everything that involved hearing the wonderful sound of violins playing. This night would unique.

It was a windy night, you couldn't wait for him to arrive soon because it was getting cold outside. You looked at the clock and a short time later, you saw the headlights of his car approaching you.

"I'm sorry for the delay, the city traffic didn't make driving easier" He explained as you opened the door and got into the car

"It's okay, I'm glad you're here now" You smiled and he smiled back

He looked so beautiful, the way his well-pressed and clean black suit fit him perfectly, his hair down and the smell of perfume that man was wearing that entered your nostrils and left you dizzy.

The man's charm was something to behold.

"Shall we?" He placed his hand on your thigh and looked at you.

"Yes, let's go" You agreed

He turned the car around and drove to the concert hall. The lights of York New shined and illuminated the long streets full of cars and people walking from one side to the other.

He parked right in front, opened the car door for you and took your hand to let you out, a chivalry that you loved . You wrapped your arm around his and went inside. You found it a little strange that there was no one there, not even at reception, it was completely empty.

"This way"He signaled and you followed him

There was a large hallway, well decorated and very chic, the walls and floor red and pictures framed in gold to contrast. He opened the door and you were dazzled by the view of the large performance room, and because he had gotten the highest seat in the audience, you went down the small stairs to the two seats next to the low wall and managed to see the band about to playing on the stage. Once again your confusion returned due to the fact that it seemed like you two would be the only ones there.

"We have the highest place and the one with the best view of the orchestra, do you like it?" He asked, coming to your side and putting his arm around your waist

"I couldn't be happier about this, I confess but...How did you manage to find this place and why isn't there anyone here?" You frowned looking at him

"Y/n, I wanted to make this night special and I had to ask the Troupe for a little help to make it happen"He explained."They took care of the people at the entrance and thanks to Shalnark's manipulation, the band will play for us the as much as we want. What do you think?"

"Chrollo...I'm amazed, you're a genius" You smiled and gave him a kiss which he responded to

"Thank you" He smiled. "Come on, let's sit here"He pointed to the red padded seats

He sat down and you sat next to him, after you were sitting next to each other, the maestro started making gestures with the stick, starting the concert. The instruments playing, forming a pleasant and classic melody that you couldn't contain a smile at the satisfaction of the sounds of each note played by those gentlemen's agile fingers. They played different songs and they all had your approval and Chrollo's, he had a soft spot for classical music just like you.

You seemed so lost watching the band that when his hand rested on your thigh you didn't even feel it, but as soon as his hand went up and reached the hem of the dress you were wearing, you looked at him and he gave a mischievous smile. Of course that invitation had ulterior motives, you knew.

"Don't bother with me, keep watching" He whispered next to your ear, causing a shiver to run down your spine and the hair on the back of your neck to rise

His scent again penetrating your nose, so fragrant that you wanted to drown yourself in the crook of his neck where the smell was coming from. His fingers started lifting the fabric of your dress and slowly going to the middle of your thighs where you shivered. He was happy that you followed his instructions of not bringing anything underneath, all the more reason for you to realize that tonight it would be full of other plans on your part. Not that you didn't want that too.

You opened your lips a little, letting out a light sigh when his fingertips brushed the sensitive spot a few times, you could already feel things heat up and get a little damp down there.

"Does classical music do things to you?" He teased as he ran his fingers through your newly wet folds

You couldn't respond especially when you were trying to stay focused on the band as he had ordered before, but then he asked again.

"Y/n, who causes this to you?" He brushed his lips against your neck and then the shell of your ear

"Y-you...it was you"You said, closing your eyes for a moment and letting out a low moan that was music to his ears

He chuckled and placed a kiss on the curve of your neck, pushing one of his fingers inside you, burying it deep in your viscous heat. Your hand grabbed the arm of the chair and clenched as his fingers moved in and out, opening you up and making your body shiver. His mouth didn't let go of your neck, sucking your skin while his fingers worked between your legs, he was enjoying every moment of it.

Even if no one was going to show up there because that place was in his possession now, you didn't let go of the idea that someone could come in there and come across that scene, he probably wouldn't give a damn.

And by the way his fingers were penetrating you, you couldn't care less about others either.

It was just him and you there. Those musicians were now nothing more than temporary puppets to play the background music for the dirty scenes happening at the top of the audience.

The way the wave of adrenaline coursed through your body and the butterflies in your belly fluttered without stopping when you had reached your limit and spilled your heat onto his fingers, made you let out a loud moan. He removed his fingers and took them to his mouth, tasting you, your head was still reeling from what he had just done to you. Your eyes turned to his as he licked his fingers seductively, looking at you with his eyes carrying insatiable desire.

"You taste great, Y/n" He said removing his fingers from his mouth and kissing you then

You responded to his lips and his velvety tongue tangling with yours and spreading his saliva and your taste throughout your mouth. If you were standing at that moment you would probably fall because your legs were numb and weak just from the wonderful kiss he was giving you. He pulled away from your lips, his panting breath hitting your face and those damn bright gray eyes on yours.

Would there be anything more beautiful than that view?

"The music is still playing, which means we can still enjoy the show" He knelt in front of you, took off his blazer and ran his hands down your thighs as he looked at you. "Open up for me, baby" He ordered and you obeyed promptly

He pulled your body to the edge of the chair and hugged your thighs over his shoulders while his mouth devoured your still sensitive slit. You brought your hands to his hair, pulling when his tongue passed your little bud and sucked it, making you arch and whimper. The sound of the violins and the moans you let out mixing in the air and echoing the walls of the large luxurious room lit by a huge crystal chandelier. He was hungry for you, for your taste, for what you let flow towards his lips.

"Chrollo, please...ahhh more"You moaned as you rubbed the hips lightly against his face

He sucked you even harder, his tongue licking you and not leaving a trace of a drop that came out of your slippery hole. The butterflies started moving again as your orgasm approached and at the same time the violins played the highest note, your eyes filled with pleasurable tears and you fell apart again in his mouth. Silence filled the room, the musicians had stopped playing, falling to the side lifelessly, your tears ran down your face and Chrollo extended his thumb to wipe them away after causing a mess between your legs. The care of his fingers smoothing the skin of your cheeks contrasts with the warm desire he had just minutes ago. He got up and extended his hand to you, who took it and stood up with some difficulty due to the tremors in your legs. He hugged your body, helping you stand and pulled your dress down, adjusting it.

"Did you like the show, dear?" He combed your hair with his fingers, looking at you

"They were both great" You laughed and he laughed along

"I'm glad you liked it, I think we should come here again, don't you think?"

"Whenever you want"

"Good, now let's go. The night is still beginning" He whispered

#hunter x hunter #hunter x hunter fandom #chrollo lucilfer #hxh chrollo #chrollo x reader #smut writing #The perfect date fr #He would definly take his s/o to places like this

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jimmyspades · 3 months

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James Spader and his friend John F. Kennedy, Jr. at a party in New York City, December 1977

#ik these have been posted a million times I just wanted em all in one place he’s so cute 🫶#little babyface #james spader #john f. kennedy jr.#*#1970s #ummm I could write a novel in these tags but #it’s so funny he is. exactly the same #of course you have perfect skin and your shirt unbuttoned 🙄

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always-ghosting · 1 year

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just want an irl pack where we can all wear tails and ears and whatever gear we feel most comfy in and go into a small hidden area in the local park and just dance and camp out and stargaze in a clearing and hide away in the small caves while we chase each other and do vocals and completely unmask around each other without any judgement . is that too much to ask for </3

#I know the perfect place in my local park too #stimmed like mad while writing this #tail is WAGGING #want an irl pack so bad #one day i'll find them </3 #listening to losing face by wilbur soot makes me shift i've realised #idk but something about that song makes me shift #its in my happy shifting playlist whatever it does to me #foxkin #therian

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tennessoui · 4 months

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In the assigned married fic, has Anakin even begun to process Padme saying that both of them will be moving to Naboo together? Like, they spoke earlier in the chapter about Anakin moving in with her on Coruscant, but Obi-Wan apparently spilled the beans about a much more permanent relocation to Naboo, and I am looking forward to Anakin's response to that, once he gets through processing everything else and remembers that part of the "conversation"....

i think padmé views moving to naboo more as a possibility than a future concrete plan -- the offer to be a permanent advisor on naboo is something she'd like to discuss with anakin as her husband before taking it or rejecting it. she says there's a lot of work she still wants to do in the senate, and she's probably thinking that it will be a few years before she would be able to go anyway. definitely after the war, but in her mind, she thinks anakin has every intention to leave the order after the war's over....because he kind of told her that. at least, in her mind he did: (from chapter 1)

“[Obi-Wan] asked me if I planned to leave the Order after the war,” he tells his wife. “And I lied, and then I think he began to support me. That’s what he looked like, anyway.” Padmé blinks at him, eyelashes falling slowly onto the jut of her cheek and then rising. “That’s good then,” she says, sounding hesitant. “That he supports us.” “Yeah,” Anakin replies, raising his hand to tuck a tendril of hair behind her ear. “Though…I’m sorry you had to lie,” she says, pressing forward until their faces are only a hand’s width apart. “Hopefully…” she trails off, biting her lip. Then she shakes her head slightly, and her mouth turns up into a smile as if she cannot help herself. “Hopefully he will not take the truth so hard.”

so anakin never says what lie he told obi-wan, he just says that he lied when asked if he was going to leave the Order, and that lie made obi-wan support him.

from an outsider's perspective, especially a biased outsider who is married to one of the insiders and believes them to have a future together, padmé's immediate understanding of this is that obi-wan asked if he was going to leave the order and anakin lied to him and told him he planned to stay and obi-wan began to support their marriage because he thinks he won't be losing anakin (padmé, who has three braincells, has long since realized obi-wan's obsessed with her husband)

and that's why she's smiling at the end (and also why they have sex at the fade to black) -- she believes anakin has just told her that when the war ends, he'll leave the Order to be with her and build a future together <3 so the offer to go to naboo is an option she can talk to her husband about, but she knows that anakin is going to no longer be a jedi....and if he's not a jedi, and she's not a senator....what's keeping them on coruscant?

BUT it's not just obi-wan that's feeling a bit catty during that dinner party scene, so i intentionally wrote padmé as putting this idea forward as less of a possibility and more of a done deal that she knows anakin will accept -- she talks about it like it's great big BACK OFF signs picketed around anakin because obi-wan is the biggest threat to their marriage in the entire galaxy and she's always known that

(but also no anakin has not begun to process that whole thing - but padmé, who now realizes they're NOT on the same page, is absolutely going to bring it up post-haste in the next chapter)

#asks #a more perfect union #obikin #sorry for all the words no one's really asked about padmé's perspective in this and i jumped at the opportunity to talk about it lol #i really have enjoyed writing these characters being their worst selves #like padmé isn't the bad guy in this story but she's definitely a wife who is in love with her husband and WILL fight to keep him #theres a moment ive written in the next chapter where shes like i put my husband above the republic and you should put your wife there too #because she did she would she said she did in canon asking vader to run away together as the republic burnt around them #her priorities when pushed against a rock and a hard place are very much: anakin then the republic #and the crux and tension of this fic is that anakin's are very clearly: obi-wan then the republic (which is just obi-wan again)#then padmé then the jedi order

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esmeislewd · 3 months

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I read a really hot TLT fic earlier and now I have some really fun ideas, using flesh magic (or sufficiently advanced tech) has some wonderful possibilities in feederism~

Imagine spiking someone's ghrelin production whilst blocking off their leptin receptors to make them hungry but prevent them from feeling full.

Intercepting nerve signals along the vagal nerve that the stomach is stretching out and rerouting them as if they were coming from the pudendal nerve instead, tricking your body into attributing the feeling of full to the sensation of someone stimulating your genitals.

Manipulating your metabolism to make gaining just that bit easier for you.

Sculpting your fat into an idealised shape for you, turning your body into the one you always dreamed of when you started gaining.

Repurposing nerves in your stomach to turn it into another erogenous zone.

Gosh there's so many absolutely devious things you could do that would make the experience of gaining just so much more perfect.

#esmes loods writings #i'm honestly low key addicted to the idea of someone taking control of my body and puppeting me into being their perfect little fatty.#not a behaviour or instinct or reaction out of place as they utterly remake me on a biological level to be the best feedee possible #female feedee #make me fatter

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halcyone-of-the-sea · 3 months

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I know you probably get asked this a lot, but do you have any tips on writing? Especially when it comes to organizing so many series, reaching such a huge wordcount, and things/details/habits you found that helped you improve your skills? I honestly aspire to reach your level someday.

The best tip I can give for overall improvement, etc., is just to keep consistent. Even when looking back at the first few fics I posted on this blog, there's a very clear difference in skill/ability to form plot details/descriptions/word usage. Everything truly comes along the more you work at it and have the drive to improve.

The important thing to tell yourself is that you're not going to like everything you write, but the point is that you are writing and noticing the things that might need to change in the future.

Organization, for me, is mostly just a bullet-pointed doc with vague directions I want a series to go in - I like to imagine my writing like tree roots: always spreading out and growing! And for habits, I'd say writing with no distractions really lets me get into the zone of my fics - no TV, no shows, no music, (though I know many people love writing with music, it just gets me thinking about other things, lol. To each their own!), just a quiet room if it's available.

Thank you, this might not be super helpful but I hope you can glean something from it!

#halcyone answers #also I don't really find wordcount that big of a factor when I'm actively writing #long or short it's still an extension of your imagination and wherever it ends up ending is irrelevant #as long as you enjoy what you've done and can find a place to stop without much turmoil on your own part is perfect #don't worry about it!

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trans-axolotl · 3 months

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I'm a psych survivor & want to find community in general or join conversations on here but it seems like no one really cares what I have to say & a lot of the conversations on here about mad liberation etc. are so academic that I feel alienated & shut out by them, and afraid of being talked down to & made fun of, even though I was (barely) able to master's degree and thought I was fairly intelligent. it seems like the academics mainly want to talk amongst themselves. idk. it's like the more I try to connect the worse I feel. I guess you probably don't have an answer to this but I appreciate your blog & how accessible your writing is

💜💜💜anon i think you have SUCH an important point. for me, the most meaningful mad community that i've found has always been when I've been institutionalized and just talking with other mad people, where most of them don't have any experience with mad liberation politics or antipsychiatry or any of that vocabulary. But like--time and time again those are the people who just get it the most, and are some of the most insightful people I've met. And I know that if some of my psych survivor friends came on tumblr, I think they would be judged for not having the "right" language or not communicating clearly enough or whatever. Which makes me so fucking mad, especially considering how many of us are disabled in ways that impact our communication, processing, and language. and how to me, it feels like such an important value of mad liberation to celebrate different styles of communication and all the different ways we're going to show up and exist as mad people! I'm sorry that you haven't been able to find a lot of welcoming community on tumblr--I know how exhausting and isolating it feels to not be able to connect with the people that are Supposed to actually understand and support you.

and it's not that I hate academic stuff about madness--I'm currently at university studying disability studies and really appreciate disability scholars. I think it's super fucking important + there's a lot of really talented people doing cool work. But I think that especially in disability studies, there needs to be a LOT more of an effort put in to actually make research + writing accessible. If half our community can't access any of the writing about our community, that's fucked up, you know? I'm always getting into arguments at university lmao when I talk about how we should do more to translate academic work into plain language. especially since i think it's a form of injustice when we are kept away from resources and knowledge that would let us build a political understanding of our experiences. it just feels super important to me to think about accessibility and what that means in mad spaces and psych survivor spaces, and who feels welcome to participate in our spaces and who feels left out of them.

and i also don't really have answers or solutions for How to Make That Happen on Tumblr--if you or any followers have any suggestions i would def love to hear them. i know that a lot of people are going to come on tumblr to do a lot of different things and that some people see this mostly as an academic space for them, where some people just come on here to talk or create art or a million different things.

For me, I use tumblr as a space where I want to talk and connect with a lot of people about all kinds of topics and hear psych survivors opinions on a ton of stuff. a lot of my posts are pretty casual, but when i make longer educational and political posts i spend a lot of time thinking about the best ways to translate really academic concepts to a wider audience. when i sit down to write out a long post i try to incorporate as many accessibility features as possible like using bullet points, putting in summaries/ Tl;DR sections at ends of posts, adding in real life examples when I'm defining complicated technical concepts, adding content notes, and more. Before I post, I read through my posts and highlight every time I use a more academic or technical term. Then, I think through whether that vocab is necessary for people to understand the post, or if there's better language I could replace it with. A lot of times I do end up keeping in some technical terms in my posts because it is honestly the most direct way to explain some of the stuff I want to talk about, but it's been super valuable for me to go through and really think about it, even when some terms stay in my writing. that's just my process and what works for me and I really don't think that other people need to write the same way I do lmao, but if anyone ever wants to talk about writing in plain language & easy read PLEASE come into my inbox bc i love talking about this and want to chat about it with more people.

other things i'll say is that i've found that virtual/in person psych survivor/antipsych support groups are often times a lot more welcoming and accessible and are just like, people talking about things and hanging out together. I've heard really good things about Wildflower Alliance's support groups, and also recommend the Hearing Voices Network. Project LETS has been running an exceptional psychiatric survivor support group for almost a year that is more casual and is a really great community, I'm hoping that they're going to open up availability again in the spring so that might also be worth checking out in the next couple months. Campaign for Psych Abolition in the UK runs a mad art space that seems super fun. i wish there were a lot more existing groups cause it sucks how few things there are tbh.

anyway, know that you + anyone else are always welcome to chat in my inbox or on any of my posts and you will not face any judgement from me. i genuinely love talking to other psych survivors so much and want to hear what people have to say. the only people i get annoyed at on my posts are psych students and other mental health professionals who leave really bullshit stuff on there lmfao.

sending you all the solidarity, anon <3

#asks #psych survivor #surviving psych #psych abolition #mad liberation #accessibility #sorry for going on a tangent about plain language in the middle adsfjkhjkfsh i just like. am very passionate about plain language writing #and tumblr is one of the main places in my day to day life where i practice writing in plain language #i am not perfect at it but i really enjoy doing it and keep wanting to get better at it #also want to get better about writing in easy read. i'm not very good at that at all yet #ik that wasn't like directly related to your question tho so sorry!! i started getting excited about plain language #and then was like no okay i should just go post about plain language on a diff post that isn't ur ask askfdjhfjdkah #ANYWAY. sending all the love u way anon

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