#Parenting Tips for Dads
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Hi! would you by any chance have tips on how to get a binder when your parents refuse to buy you one? ☹️
That's definitely a sensitive and complex answer, and while I might not know of the best option for your unique situation, there are some ways you can go about this.
If it's a foregone conclusion that you cannot convince them of this, what I used to do is DIY my binder. The ways I primarily did this were:
Option One: Wearing a camisole that was one size smaller than I actually was (so, wearing a small instead of a medium, for instance), then folding it up over my chest. As a disclaimer, this may only work well if you are smaller in the chest
Option Two: Layering two sports bras in my size over each other. Some of the DIY tips I found before I got a traditional binder advised to wear one sports bra in your size, then wear another sports bra backwards in a size smaller. I would advise against this for potential safety reasons, but also because (at least personally), it can be ineffective and a waste of resources.
Some people have also had friends or other family members order their binder for them, but this can be risky, depending on your situation. While I don't know the ins and outs of your specific circumstances, risk management is important to me, so I would recommend this if it is a risk that is acceptable to make.
I understand what it's like to not have access to this resource, so what I will do is advise you against:
Binding with ace bandages (I did this before (multiple times, in fact, because of dysphoria), and believe me, not only did it hurt like hell, but it constricted my body so heavily that I may have done long-term harm)
Wearing a DIY binder (or any kind, for that matter) for longer than your body can handle
Doing DIY in such a way that even mimics binding with ace bandages. This means that your binder shouldn't constrict your ribs, breathing, or range of movement
Here are some general good practices that you should use to guide you for any type of binding, whether traditional or DIY:
When you start binding, only do so in very short sessions to begin with. While binding shouldn't outright hurt, it can be a weird transition while your body is getting used to that new sensation
Minimize heavy lifting or exercise while binding. If it is unavoidable, drink plenty of water and take plenty of breaks
Stretch after binding
Don't bind while sick or have inflammation in your lungs or chest
If you DIY, treat your binder like it is a traditional binder. Don't make the mistake of assuming you don't need to listen to your body because you aren't using a "traditional" binding method
Ultimately, listen to your body. If it is telling you that it needs a break, honour that. Your body isn't punishing you, it is trying to keep you (and it) safe, even if it doesn't feel like it
In the end, this isn't perfect. Sometimes, parents do come around, even in their own ways, even if little by little, they come around. When I first came out officially around 2016, I was convinced that my transition would be completely forbade by my family; I concealed a lot of it in the worst instances of this. However, now, I think most of my family has come through their own journey with the understanding of the reality of what and who I am. I tell you this, anon, because I want you to know that this, too , shall pass. You can make it. I know this might be devastating to you, and believe me, I know what that's like. But it won't be forever. These bridges aren't burnt forever, and I hope you can find your happiness and contentment wherever it may be.
#ask#anon#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#long post#if anybody has other tips or ideas then feel free to speak up#this is what i did before officially binding and what i have seen other trans people do in lieu of getting a 'real' binder#it did suck when i was coming out because i don't think my family had any idea how *their* hang-ups with... me as a person... affected me#and i think a lot of people get their preconceived notions or headcanons of you stuck in their head to the point that it is Reality#i think part of why my dad started actually *trying* to accept me was him realizing that i was actively hiding things from him...#...like he loves me and our relationship is fine now but i'm not going to pretend like he didn't massively blunder after i came out#and if it turns out that your parents don't ever come around (gd forbid) then you aren't obligated to keep them#you don't choose your parents but you can choose your family i think#i always always hope that parents come around to their child/ren and the reality of who they are but i recognize how messy it all is#anon i wouldn't blame you one bit if you feel many complex or 'negative' emotions toward them#i have many complex feelings about this and that's my own baggage. i hope i haven't put words into your mouth or assumed anything too much#i am sending you best wishes and care. this too shall pass💛
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how do garak and bashir feel about being grandparents?, also since theres a third elim (3lim) ((if i read tht right,,,,)
garak and bashirs parenting styles are reversed for grandparenting. julian's a total sap for his grandkids, taking them on trips and buying them elaborate educational toys. garak is the reserved victorian grandfather smoking a pipe in the study talking about The Old Days and ordering them around (especially in the garden, his knees aren't what they used to be.)
Bashir is still annoyed at the passage of time seeing fit to give his children (who, in his mind, are still kids) children of their own. Rude!
#dee s 9#garashir adoption au#julian w baby one like Oh what a dear! 1 yr later with baby 2 We call these Irish Twins on Earth!#a year after that with baby 3 like Lim don't you think this is getting a little excessive. You havent got any record to beat#a year after THAT with baby 4 like WAS MY EDUCATION ON CONTRACEPTION DEFICIENT? I THOUGHT I EXPLAINED EVERYTHING QUITE CLEARLY.#lim and his wife live just a mile or so away.. they can hang out with their grandparents in the countryside around lakat#julian is the Strict Dad and the fun grandparent. garak is the 'mischief if you can get away with it' dad and the stern old grandfather#HOOGH.. thinkin bout julian and miles bonding over their kids having kids... going on grandpa adventures#lim and molly swapping parenting tips..#molly drops her own kids off on prime when she's doing research in the quadrant n they rough it with their lizard cousins for a few weeks#3LIM!!!#u know garak uglycried in private when lim named his baby elim (III). he didnt specify which elim garak hes named after. dealers choice#thank YOUUUUU for always asking fun QUESTIONSSSSSSS!!! LOVA YOUUUU
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cleaned the bar today!!! i am sweaty :)
#MAKIN CASHHHH BABYYYY#i said i’d give my parents the money though because i’m taking over my dads side job lmao#feels good i need to move more#also got a $20 tip from last nights bartenders hehe
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🌿What is wrong with my houseplant? // how to diagnose your houseplant 🌿
✩ im definitely not a seasoned professional when it comes to houseplants, (i am a professional though) however a lot of basic plant care skills are transferrable, and i wanted to share my process for identifying "the problem" when i see a plant struggling, or my friends & family come to me for help✩
a) first identify the plant. take into account its natural habitat and what the growing conditions would be if it was in the wild. is it a tropical plant? does this plant come from the desert? does this plant usually live in the woods? if youre unsure, then look it up! this will help you get a bearing for what conditions this plant needs in order to survive.
- for instance, a tropical plant would generally need to be watered more often and cant stay dry for long periods of time, due to the natural humidity in that environment. a plant that naturally lives in the woods would likely need dappled or indirect light, due to the plant thriving under the coverage of trees. use logic to clue into the plants needs and research if you aren't sure
b) now that you have an idea of what this plant needs to thrive, compare that to it's current environment. is it getting too much sun? is it too close to the window during the winter and getting cold? is it too humid and keeping the soil too wet? try to match up the environment in your house/building to be as close to its natural environment as possible
c) ok, im pretty sure that its in the right environment, but it's still showing (x) symptom, what now?
i usually go through a mental checklist when diagnosing plants:
water—
- is it being watered enough? feel the soil with your fingers- is the soil bone dry? water it (you can't go wrong watering a bone dry plant, even succulents and cacti).
- is it soaking wet (dripping, pooling water, can be 'wrung out')? how long ago was it watered? a few hours ago, you're probably good. more than a day or two ago— there's a problem. plants need to dry out. check the container its planted in- does it have drainage holes? if not, repot that baby ASAP (and check for root rot)!! does the decorative planter it's sitting in have drainage? — if not you can remedy this by propping the plant up a few inches with a small piece of wood (or honestly anything you can find that's water resistant) so its not sitting in its drained water for days on end.
- is it moist up to a few inches down? it is being watered sufficiently 🌿 check if it needs to be watered when the top few inches are dry and go ahead and soak that baby if it does.
common symptoms of watering issues: drooping leaves/wilt, shriveled up and dropping dry leaves, rotting leaves (for succulents being overwatered especially), yellowing or browning on the edges
light- are the leaves turning a light yellow color? are you noticing leggy growth (where the stem grows long without producing a lot of leaves)? it's not getting enough sun! if its in low light move it to indirect or diffused light, and if you're still having the same issue after some time, move it into a spot where it will get hit by a sunbeam.
are the leaves turning a brown color? do they look burnt? are they getting dry and shriveled up? are they getting dull/dusty? could be too much light, move it to indirect light and see if that fixes it— if not, look for other symptoms.
potting space/ root issues:
DO NOT i repeat DO NOT repot your plants in autumn/winter
check your roots, like physically take the plant out of the pot or flip it over.
are the roots coming out of the bottom? not necessarily a bad thing, if the plant likes being hugged— definitely check for plant specific needs at this point and keep an eye on it. if you notice it dries out unreasonably fast, youre going to want to repot it. (ONLY if its spring/early summer). the plant doesnt have any room to absorb water. find a pot two inches in diameter larger than its current pot and, yk, repot it. plants get overwhelmed if its any larger and it wont have room to spread its roots if its too small. 2 inches is the sweet spot.
are the roots brown? take it out of the pot and smell it, does it smell rotted? most likely root rot. an easy fix— remove the plant, remove the soil, rinse it off, cut off rotted roots, repot it in new soil, and make sure its getting adequate time and drainage to dry out in between watering.
nutrients:
if you've checked for everything else and your plant is still wilting, it could need more nutrients. a really big tell of this is that its not producing new leaves or flowering, its staying stagnant and conserving it's energy. you can easily fix this by getting fertilizer sticks, powder, etc. from the store.
pests and fungi:
this one is the hardest and most complicated to identify.
if it's growing brown spots in the middle of the plant or you notice leaves rotting, there could be a fungus or mold issue. you can try spraying the soil with neem oil or hydrogen peroxide! if that doesnt work you're going to want to take steps to repot it in clean soil. a common cause of this is overwatering and humidity, so make sure youre letting your plant dry out (and even wilt a bit) before watering it again.
if youre noticing bugs, little brown or white spots on the back of leaves or stems, excessive wilting and misshapen leaves, holes/damage that you cant find the cause of, or what looks like little cobwebs (spider mites), you're likely looking at pests. you're going to need a chemical (or natural nonchemical) pesticide treatment. if youre unable to identify the pest on your own i recommend taking a sample or picture to your local nursery and asking someone experienced for help and recommendations! your best option for the time being is neem oil spray, as there's no chance of accidentally pesticide burning your plants.
✩ again houseplants aren't my specialty, and a lot of figuring out any issues a plant is having is trial and error and being observant of symptoms. you cant always identify one issue by one symptom, you have to be patient and see how the plant reacts to changes you make!
if youre a beginner, dont get discouraged!! taking care of plants is a learned skill and it takes time and experience to be able to notice patterns.
good luck :) i hope your prescious plant baby survives! feel free to ask me questions if you need help, but no promises I'll be able to. ✩
🌿
#plants#horticulture#plant tips#bloomy's tips tag#plantblr#plant parent#plant dad#plant info#plant care#horticulturalist#horticulture tips#botany#botanical#cottagecore#cottage aesthetic#plant aesthetic#houseplants#houseplant#houseplant aesthetic
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curious question:
what is your favourite club that came with get together? why is it your favorite club?
If you have created clubs yourself, what kind of club did you create?
#nonsims#let's discuss#i don't think i have a fav#but i have played a lot with the paragon sims#and have had sims be invited to the avant gardes club#however it annoys me a bit how often they need to use the bathroom#i created a poker club for bob pancakes where he gathers all the dad in his man grotto to play poker#bob eliza nancy her husband bella and mortimer are part of an old club named copperdale class 00#i imagine they were a friendgroup bavk when they went to copperdale and decided to stay in contact after graduating...#they friend group exist but a lot of them have grown apart#then i made a voidcritter club with some kids#and a parent club for moms who like to meet#gossip about other parents have their kids and toddlers interact and share parenting tips#and jesminder has a small private cooking group with one of my ocs... they make ethnic delicacies together#and because it annoys me how most sims have no relationships outside theor family and household i made career groups so sims with careers#would at least know their coworkers
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I am watching miraculous(because I've been infected, get help), and it's that episode in the wax museum, and Manon is complaining about no one paying attention to her, and she gets akumatized, and Hawkmoth says that children need attention and that he'll pay attention to her, and like.
GABE YOU ASSHOLE YOU DON'T EVEN PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR OWN CHILD
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hot take (maybe??? idk how much of a "hot" take this is lmao):
out of the two of them: dave's good at cooking, but shawn's better at baking
#given my hc of his distant parents it makes sense that dave's learned how to cook as a necessity#(either from extended family or older siblings or watching his mum cook)#but baking isnt his forte; he isnt the best with things that leave him sticky and messy#plus he doesnt think it's all that helpful for him in the long run (you cant survive purely off sweets or baked goods)#dave does appreciate cooking though more than as a necessity. he likes experimenting with different foods#and few times he likes to explore various ethnic dishes#cooking isnt a hobby of his or anything but he doesn't mind it. he thinks its better than baking#shawn on the other hand is a pro baker. partially bc of his job as cake decorator he learned tips from his supervisor/boss#also his dad loves to bake#so does his uncle#but for the life of him he doesn't have the patience to make actual food#if he lives alone he'd be living off on instant soup/noodles or to-go heat-up packs etc#he just...doesnt know how to cook lmao he doesn't care much for it#for baking he likes paying attention to the details and the idea of creating smth different from various ingredients#but cooking just tests his limits lmao#td dave#td shawn#total drama#noahtally-famous#kit stuff#tdpi#total drama pahkitew island#dashawn#i guess?? but it can be looked at as individual characteristics as well not just a ship dynamic#after writing that dashawn oneshot for today's rarepair prompt i'm in a dashawn mood lmao
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This Father’s Day I want to acknowledge all the fathers out there who, like me, are willing to make the sacrifices and difficult decisions necessary to give their children a better life.
Every time I read about another absentee or neglectful father, whether it be one who abandons his child at the circus or one who thinks of his child more as a roommate than a daughter, it breaks my heart. Children deserve better.
So thank you to all the dads and fathers who take the initiative to step up and be a good parent. Especially all the step-parents and adoptive parents, who fill that role for a child that’s not biologically their own. I myself grew up without a father (or a mother), and I can’t express enough how important and valuable your sacrifice is.
#happy father’s day#fathers day#parenting flex#Curtainparentingadvice#protective dad vibes#good parenting#parenting tips#ld curtain#dr curtain#dr. curtain#ledroptha curtain#Dads#Fathers#fathersday#the mysterious benedict society#mysterious benedict society
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yeaaaahh
#soooo anyone know how to write in an abusive parents birthday card#i can't physically bring myself to write the word 'mum' let alone like. birthday wishes#but if it's not good enough it'll set her off and i don't want that#but for some reason I can't make myself lie either#which is weird because I'm the best liar ever usually#it's taken me half an hour and I haven't even drawn a line on the card#my dads an asshole I know she's going to have a shit day and my card will really be the tipping point for her if it's not good enough#and i can't watch her cry and crumble#i hate this so much#normally I just buy her a present and avoid the whole card thing but this year she specifically requested money#and she'll be mad if it's not in a card#and she'll notice if I don't write in the card and be hurt#I'm going insane rn#mine#abuse#sorry I just. don't know how to win this
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Dude me and my family were talking about the submarine that exploded, and then my dad pulled out his phone saying "imma search it up", because we were all confused with the specifics and everything, and this motherfucker pulled fucking TIKTOK and searched about the News THERE
Like??????? Wasnt Google better???? Did we really nedded to watch 20+ tiktoks of the same thing being said over and over again while the white boys begged us to follow them???????????
Man this old generation do be wild
#my dad watches a lot of tiktok#of hes getting his news there i cant even think what else hes getting there#if theres a god please please dont turn my dad into an alpha male toxic tiktok podcaster#what next he gon get there? parental tips?#because my man do need some#nanarants
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a lot of fic: what if Hopper took Steve under his wing
me: what if Hopper took Nancy under his wing, though
#like i get it. i do. but also. this is the 'jim hopper plus teenager' duo *i'm* most interested in.#they're so alike personality-wise. and post s2 especially i think any lingering 'she's a girl an needs protecting' has completely left him#i am very interested in where that dynamic could go from there#at the very least nancy could maybe get some proper tips on responsible gun care and ownership#'mary you're just reinventing the hopper-and-el dynamic' no see i'm not bc nancy Has parents. she is not looking for a surrogate dad#and he's not looking to her for a surrogate daughter. they're on a footing that's closer to equal#(more mentor-student than father-daughter maybe?)#take out that element of protectiveness and you get him encouraging her to do dangerous shit but Be Smart About It#when karen finds out she nearly has an aneurysm#there are just so many opportunities for this to be golden!#please let's collectively make use of it more!#stranger things
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Cartoons from the 80's had a lot of anti-drug/anti-drinking messages, with plots surrounding the consequences. I saw these when I was really, really little, so some of the lessons probably stuck.
Even though I've been drunk, I've never driven. I knew not to way back when I was a kid, because media pounded into our heads not to do that, and I have real life and family examples of what happens if you do.
I've also never smoked anything, or done any drugs because I never really wanted to. Truth be told, the lessons were probably in my subconscious (along with real life examples of what happens) helping me make the right judgement calls.
It obviously didn't work with every Millennial, but it got through to a few of us.
This cartoon even tackled prescription drug abuse, and how it negatively affects people and those around them. It also hit on issues of elderly loneliness, how little lies can lead to big problems, owning up to your responsibilities (wherein Henry Bigg -yeah, the human - leaves a baby he volunteered to babysit with the Littles so he could play touch football with his friends across the street and fire breaks out because of the actions of an unsupervised baby. And also Plot.).
80's cartoons went hard with these messages.
This cartoon from my childhood I'm binge watching, The Little's, had a good idea at the end of one of the episodes that showed the dangers of being drunk, how it effects people and themselves, and drunk driving with an incident that almost killed one of the Littles:
A contract between kids and their parents.
Both parties write up a contract that states that kids will call their parents to come pick them up rather than driving, or getting a ride with someone who could be drunk, or otherwise compromised.
Parents agree to go pick them up; no questions asked. Period.
Not a bad idea, honestly.
If I had kids, I'd probably do this. It gives the kids freedom to go out and have fun with friends, while also giving both a sense of trust that the other will abide by the contract.
Trust from both sides is insanely important.
#a helpful tip for parents and kids#what cartoons can teach us#80's cartoons#I was born in '81 so I barely remember them. And yes I am a Millennial. I'm at the beginning of that generation. Mentally I'm in the middle#but it was an era huge with the 'Just say no' messages#probably holdovers from the bullshit people got into in the 70's#Personal bit#Drugs ruined my older sister's life#and drinking and smoking killed my grandpa when I was 7 years old. 1985 or 86.#He was in his late 50's.#I never got to know him. My memories of him are vague#but I remember his funeral#I remember seeing his body in the casket during the viewing#and I remember my mother breaking down in tears and hugging me and my siblings#First my sister cried then my brother then I did because everyone else was crying and I felt that.#I remember my mom saying 'he looks like he's sleeping.'#I never got to know my grandpa on my dad's side either because of the same reason.#The grandparents I remember are technically step since my grandma on my mom's side remarried#I never got to know my biological grandparents aside from my mom's mom. Not even my grandmother on my dad's side#whom I was told I met once when I was 4 before she died.#I was too young to understand death#and that my grandpa wasn't coming back.#I'm an empath. I feel things at a higher level. I cried because everyone around me was grieving.#I didn't know why but I knew they were all in pain.
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🌤️hey!! i have a tip for you if you often find yourself at your local nursery trying to find plants with specific lighting needs! ☀️
LOOK UP!! or down. If the nursery has the means, it will place plants in conditions it needs to thrive.
🌥️do you see a shade mesh net hanging up anywhere? do you see any shade on the ground? the plants that are sitting under it are most likely shade plants! 🌥️
☀️Is the plant sitting right next to or up against the window? is it in a sunbeam? is it directly under a skylight that is facing east or upwards? that plant is a full sun plant. ☀️
🌤️is it in the middle of the store, away from any direct light, but not sitting in direct shade? that's gonna be the part sun-part shade or indirect light plants. 🌤️
☀️‼️ disclaimer, this isnt a hard and fast rule, some nurseries have limited space and light and have to get creative with placing displays. if youre not confident you can check the tags or ask someone (or google) for help! this tip is just to get you started and make the process of plant shopping easier ‼️☀️
#plants#horticulture#plantblr#plant parent#gardening#gardenblr#horticulturalist#houseplant aesthetic#houseplants#plant tips#plant nursery#plant nerd#greenhouse#garden#cottage aesthetic#cottagecore#plant aesthetic#plant dad#plant mom#bloomy's tips tag
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turns out if i recontextualize a task as a necessity for survival my brain will be more likely to do it
#i texted my parents 😱😱😱😱 and also denvers dad for driving tips#i gave myself a one month deadline 2 get a license AND a car good luck asta
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Since Little Miss is now working on her 7th tooth (!!!) I decided to schedule her first dental appointment.
#from what the website says#it should just be a glorified 'meet the dentist'#they'll take a look at her teeth#and give me tips on caring for them#i want her going early so she isn't dealing with 'new place anxiety' when she HAS to go#hopefully she gets her dad's teeth (and takes good care of them) so she won't have to visit often#mine#parenting#TEETH TEETH TEETH
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The way my dad and I can calmly debate whether anal sex is not okay for gay men but okay for straight people or not (I obviously don’t think there’s anything wrong with anyone having anal, he’s just a fucking homophobe) but then he gets triggered by the word “person” and starts yelling and then storms off telling me he loves me but I need to “wake up” is so ridiculous like I wasn’t even using “person” to specify a non-binary or non-gendered person, I just meant person in general because I was giving an unspecified example without any kind of person in mind. It’s a fucking noun that everyone uses, he’s just a dumbfuck.
So yeah, the one person who I thought might stick by me if I came out turns out to be just as bad as the rest of them.
Maybe before trump’s administration he would have, but now he’s been brainwashed by the conservatives and watches The Five every night like it’s fucking mandated.
#i’m fucking 27 i shouldn’t have to deal with this#i want my post-trump and post-alcoholism dad back please#he just ends up yelling at me and i won’t get into it but there’s so many reasons he shouldn’t yell at me#like he managed to stay calm and respectful when i said the the bible has been mistranslated in the newer versions that are homophobic and#but somehow the word person tipped him over the edge wtf#neither of us went into the conversation expecting to change anyone’s views#and he said himself that we could calmly talk about this#and he did not stay calm#homophobia#tw homophobia#homophobic parents#it fucking sucks#and i wish i could afford to move out but this is the fucking bay area and even having a good job isn’t good enough
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