#PS. Not a meet-cute au.
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Seven years after the break-up.
#PS. Not a meet-cute au.#Yep. You get to decide how this headcanon goes#drarry#hpdm#draco malfoy#harry james potter#drarry art#kismet draws#my art#artists on tumblr
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𝐦𝐨𝐦 & 𝐝𝐚𝐝 𝐩𝐭2 | 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐨
✯social media au
✯daniel ricciardo x female reader
✯the nickname mom and dad finally has some ‘true’ meaning behind it 🫶🏻
✯ah this was a request so thank you so much!! this was very fun and cute to write, i hope you enjoy<3
part 1 part 3
ynricciardo
liked by landonorris, lilyhme, danielricciardo and 1M others
mom and dad really are about to become mom and dad, baby ricciardo coming soon🤍
tagged danielricciardo
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username IM SOBBING
username im so happy for my parents 😭
username someone check on lando
lilyhme congratulations you two!! can’t wait to meet them!❤️
landonorris i need 4-5 business days to recover😭
>ynricciardo me too, wanna come watch cheesy movies with me🥹
>landonorris on my way 🏃🏻
username lando and y/n kill me😭
danielricciardo i love you, so excited to have a little terror around!!!!
>ynricciardo if they are a terror, that’s from you babe😚
ynricciardo added to their story!
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danielricciardo
liked by ynricciardo, redbullracing, landonorris and 2M others
that is one hot mama, and she’s all mine😁😁
tagged ynricciardo
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username HOT MAMA😮💨😮💨
username oh she looks so beautiful!!!
username look at that bump!
redbullracing baby danny incoming!!!
>ynricciardo ❤️❤️
landonorris what size is baby ricc this week mom?
>ynricciardo they are about the size of an acorn squash apparently😂
>username lando calling y/n mom😭
ynricciardo
liked by danielricciardo, scottyjames31, francisca.cgomes and 989,000 others
this is life recently, all baby wants is gelato right now, which i won’t complain about. daniel and lando are like my full grown children half the time, and baby is the size of a cabbage now…which i feel the weight of 24/7🥴
tagged danielricciardo and landonorris
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username cabbage ricciardo!!
liked by ynricciardo
username ou gelato sounds so good rn
username lando and danny being actual kids in adult bodies 💀
landonorris i was your first child remember that😌
>danielricciardo yeah idk why we agreed on that
>ynricciardo are you saying i was stupid to agree that lando was our first child? 🤨
>danielricciardo NO never, you’re the smartest baby, i love you!!
username HAHAHAHA smart response daniel
username im dying right now
danielricciardo added to their story!
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ynricciardo
liked by landonorris, kellypique, redbullracing, danielricciardo and 2M others
how the night started vs how the morning ended up, a very surprise welcome to our little girl Mila Grace Ricciardo. You are so special to us, mommy and daddy love you so much already❤️❤️
tagged daniel ricciardo
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username oh i’m sobbing rn
username Mila🥹🥹🥹
username I LOVE HER NAME SM
redbullracing welcome to the world little Mila!❤️
liked by ynricciardo and danielricciardo
landonorris im still crying
landonorris i can’t wait to meet her
>ynricciardo we’ll be home tomorrow so come over whenever ❤️
username lando crying is so me
danielricciardo my girls forever❤️
landonorris
liked by ynricciardo, mclaren, quadrant and 1M others
i’m not crying anymore don’t worry, just couldn’t help but introduce Mila as my god daughter. i can’t thank y/n enough, okay i guess daniel too, for trusting me with this title. i love Mila so much already
ps. i’m moving in😁
tagged ynricciardo, daniel ricciardo
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username omg lando and mila😭
username why is this making me sob so hard rn
username lando is the best uncle and now godfather ever🥹
ynricciardo you’re family lando, Mila loves you so much already, you always have a home with us🤍
>username ‘you always have a home with us’ i’m unstable
>danielricciardo she means the garage
>ynricciardo 🤨🤨🤨
username HAHAHAHA this is sending me
mclaren welcome baby mila 🧡🧡
liked by ynricciardo and landonorris
username lando getting all the mila angles 😭
#daniel ricciardo fake social media#daniel ricciardo x you#daniel ricciardo#daniel riccardo imagine#daniel ricciardo fluff#daniel ricciardo x reader#daniel ricciardo x girlfriend reader#daniel riccardo x reader#daniel ricciardo x female reader#daniel ricciardo x fem!reader#dad daniel ricciardo#formula 1 masterlist#formula one#formula 1#danny ric#rueswrites#ruesanswers#ruesanons<3#ruesasks
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english love affair
social media au
kpop idol!reader x tom blyth
fc: jennie kim
i love making these and have some in my drafts so feel free to send requests/face claim requests/suggestions
(ps: i had to redo this bc the first time i posted not only did it not post, it didn’t save any of my changes so i had to do it again. 😭)
Requests are OPEN for both soc med aus and blurbs for Tom and his characters
yourusername
liked by zendaya and others
@calvinklein
hunterschafer beautiful girl
liked by yourusername
↪️yourusername that’s you babes 😘
taylorswift so proud of you hon
lola.tung can’t wait to see your pretty face all on the billboards AHH
tomblyth ❤️
liked by yourusername
↪️ user23 OH?
↪️ fan98 they know each other?
↪️ user9 and she liked!
user8 insert olivia wilde nodding meme
random56 when you’re that girl!
username7 y/n world domination she’s a singer dancer rapper songwriter producer model like what can she not do
ynfans
liked by randomuser and others
y/n has now followed actor tom blyth who has recently stared in the new hunger games movie the ballad of songbirds and snakes!
he has previously liked and commented on her recent post, and she’s stated previously that she’s a fan of the trilogy and has watched this new movie multiple times!
ynfan98 this is interesting bc she barely follows ppl as it is
user76 the way she’s barely active on social media and does this she’s so old lady coded 😭
user12 DID YALL SEE TOMS THIRST TRAP
↪️ user8 HIS WHAT?!
↪️ username6 YES SKDKDK not even a few hours since she followed now he’s like this
↪️ random87 real because i’d be thirst trapping to get her attention
tomblyth
liked by yourusername and others
outtakes from my recent vogue italia shoot
user1 ok thirst trap
ynfan NOT HIM POSTING THIS RIGHT AFTER YOURNAME FOLLOWS HIM BACK
↪️ random488 HES SO REAL
↪️ user978 IM CRYING HES SO HOT
↪️ user11 AND IT WORKED SHE LIKED BACK
rachelzegler you look okay i guess 🙄
↪️ tomblyth i’ll take it
mayahawke looking good my boy
↪️ tomblyth 👍
↪️ random5 his millennial ahh reply 😭
liked by mayahawke
yourusername stunning
liked by tomblyth
↪️ user12 not him acting coy after that thirst trap when she followed him 😭
↪️ user9 he thinks he’s slick when he’s probably fangirling she’s noticing him
user12 how did they meet not my worlds colliding
↪️ random1 probably rachel introduced them yk how rach is a social butterfly
liked by rachelzegler
↪️ user9 see? rach liking just confirms it she set them up
blythnation
liked by tbfns and others
tom’s now deleted story (1.12.2024)
user097 not him deleting this naurrr
tomfans wait my friends said they saw him in london what is he doing there if he ain’t filming anything?
user64 wait the shoes he’s holding look like something yn would wear at the recent gala in london hold on 👀👀
↪️ username678 you’re so right cause coincidence i think not
↪️ random75 maybe he went as her date! it’s a big night for her and her career. how sweet!
yourusername
liked by naomi and others
A huge honour to receive the Honorary MBEs and attend the South Korea-UK State Banquet at Buckingham Palace 🎖️💂♀️
onyourm_ark congrats y/nnie!
↪️ yourusername thanks markles im gonna cry omg
↪️ johnnyjsuh so proud of you y/n 🎉🥳
dualipa you’re one of us now 🥰🥰
↪️ yourusername kisses kisses hugs hugs
↪️ user87 one of us like 👀interesting
↪️ person97 cause she got an english man too
oliviarodrigo congrats my love!
liked by yourusername
↪️ yourusername thank you angel ✨
↪️ random97 wait both my girls booed up by english boys they’re on the same wavelength
username188 am i dreaming or does the shoes on tom’s deleted story match her dress
↪️ ynfan I SEE IT OMG did they go together
↪️ fan65 my cousin who works at the palace apparently heard he entered through the private back entrance to attend the ball and seated where he’s not visible by the camera
↪️ user97 so cute for her to bring him as a date! must be serious tho
↪️ randomuser7 great he attended and supported her during one of the biggest nights of her career but didn’t hog the spotlight
↪️ user121 a real man wouldn’t be threatened by a woman’s success
liked by yourusername
↪️ user53 exactly yn deserves someone who knows his place and that she’s a star and not to be jealous and try to stifle her talent and creativity and personality
yourusername posted a story
#tom blyth fanfiction#tom blyth imagine#tom blyth x reader#coriolanus snow#coriolanus snow imagine#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus x you#tom blyth#tom blyth x you#social media aus#kpop idol reader
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the feels - oscar piastri
kpop idol reader x oscar piastri social media au
a/n: if anyone has requests lmk! i’d love some inspiration
a/n: it’s a fun concept to think of the most normal guy in the world dating a kpop sensation. let’s ignore that dating is taboo in the kpop world and i fully made up an f1 calendar for this lol. face claim is sana from twice. 🫡 ps. we absolutely love seeing oscar win his first (sprint) race
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oscarpiastri
liked by landonorris, mclaren, y/nusername and 405,027 others
oscarpiastri: Japan has been great. (Yes, I had to go to Y/N’s concert.)
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piastrinorris: oscar is a kpop fan? not on my bingo card
y/nmaniac: it’s the Y/N impact 💕not kpop, Y/N
papayaworld: i am genuinely asking, who is Y/N? i don’t know her
sugarrushy/n: she is a japanese kpop idol who is very big, specially recently bc of her viral single OMG. you should listen to it!! she also has other underrated bops
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y/nusername
liked by oscarpiastri, alphataurif1, yukitsunoda0511, and 1,027,399 others
y/nusername: i didn’t know racing cars could be so much fun! thank you wearelenovo for the invitation to the formula 1 lenovo japanese grand prix, and alphataurif1 for receiving me so kindly!! 😺😺😺
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mclaren: You should come around our garage sometime, we know there would be people happy to see you in papaya orange 🧡
81lover: mclaren being oscar’s wingmen, we love to see it
ln4op81: LMAO, feeding on the oscar x y/n hype. in their defense, oscar’s post race interview didn’t help
himboscar: blud literally said “i almost hoped i wasn’t racing so i could go meet her but she saw me on the podium” and hoped we’d just let that go
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mclaren
liked by oscarpiastri, y/nusername, landonorris and 706,829 others
mclaren: We had to re-invite y/nusername to the Monaco Grand Prix for the McLaren experience. We think she’s having a great time and we have great results to show her.🫡🧡
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y/nusername: thank you for having me😽🧡
oscarpiastri: Hype papaya girl 👧
mclarenussy: u got this, rizz her up
therealpiastri: he doesn’t have it don’t lie
y/nheart: honestly it’s pretty cute how he references her songs lol
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y/nusername
liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, somsomi0309, and 1,037,824 others
y/nusername: the ETA world tour is over! 😿💕 i had the most amazing time seeing all bunnies around the world, and experiencing all the new things this beautiful planet has to offer. i’m looking forward to doing it all over again forever!!! i’m so grateful to everyone who made this tour possible, from all the crew, to the stylists, to the dancers, and as always my bunnies. here’s to the future!! 😻💕
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oscarpiastri: 🎊🎊
piastricutie: baby get up
y/nusername: tysm for coming✨😺
landonorris: actually upset i wasn’t invited
y/nusername: next tour for sure 🎟️😼
y/ngirly: she’s snatching mclaren boys like pokemons and we love that for her
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f1waggosip
liked by 104,027
f1waggossip: The streets are saying our Oscar Piastri has actually managed to bag his girl crush, Y/N L/N, and her recent Instagram where she is using the same outfit she was pictured with hugging the Aussie in Italy seems to confirm it. She also posted a story of a beautiful dinner date. We likely will see her in the Monza paddock this weekend, after months of reportedly beginning their relationship long distance due to her tour and Oscar’s races.
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maniacpiastri: holy FUCK
formulay/n: the fact that my worlds collided this hard what the helllllll how did oscar manage to bag that queen
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oscarpiastri
liked by mclaren, y/nusername, landonorris and 803,927 others
oscarpiastri: Pretty sure y/nusername is our lucky charm. Amazing P1 🏆😉
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mclaren: We are willing to add her as a plus one for the rest of the year 🤝
landonorris: be a keeper mate
y/nusername: i think it’s all u ✨✨💕😸
thunderousy/n: THE HARD LAUNCH? THE COMMENTS? THE LUCKY CHARMS? IM COMBUSTING
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y/nusername
liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren, hyunah_aa and 1,203,028 others
y/nusername: f1 duties got me in an airport looking like i’m in a second leg of a more tiring tour, while oscar is shining and i’m not the one driving 200mph! 🙀
view all 5,024 comments
oscarpiastri: Sorry, we can’t lose the lucky charm😛
oscarpiastri: Also, you look amazing.
81racing: PLEASEEEE😭
mclaren: It’s the orange hair for us 🧡
y/nusername: temporarily repping for best end of season good vibes 🧡😼
darlingy/n: i love this man, he’s so sweet to her and he makes her so happy
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oscarpiastri:
liked by landonorris, y/nusername, carlossainz55 and 890,024 others
oscarpiastri: Season ended, and P3 in Driver’s Championship isn’t too shabby. I feel like a winner anyway, and my lucky charm will bring us to the next level next year. Thank you mclaren and Papaya Army! 🧡
view all 4,034 comments
y/nusername: great things will always come ur way 🧡🧡✨✨😸😸very proud of u
theoscarpastry: i am so unwell he is saying he won because he got the girl
y/nnation: bunnies love oscar, he’s so ken coded and y/n is the prettiest barbie
landonorris: 👊👊
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f1waggossip
liked by 153,024
f1waggossip: It is now Oscar Piastri’s turn to be a lucky charm, as he is seen attending the Mnet Asian Music Awards with Y/N, who is nominated for several categories tonight. We wish her the best!
view all 924 comments
y/nloverboy: he looks so happy to be her accessory for the night, we love it for her
oscarbabes: ken loves barbie
y/ngoddess: i am still astonished at how oscar even got y/n to take a second look at him but the superstar and chillest person alive combo is giving
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oscarpiastri
liked by y/nusername, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 802,692 others
oscarpiastri: I love being the trophy boyfriend for the MAMAs’ Artist of the Year.👩❤️👨 Always proud of you, and always a pleasure to see you perform.😄
see all 3,733 comments
y/nusername: ur too sweeeet my baby 😿😿😽😽💕💕
y/nsbff: “my baby” sleeping on the highway 2nite
oscarwildflower: “trophy boyfriend” bathing with a toaster!!!
allmylovey/n: the most unlikely of relationships is giving everything that needs to be given
#f1#f1 au#f1 fanfic#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 x reader#formula 1#lando norris#oscar piastri#oscar piastri au#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri social media au#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri fanfic
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Hi! I was wondering if you could do a social media fic with nando where his gf/fiancé/wife comes to the paddock for the first time after they had their second child? And like the photographers are all oveeeer reader cuz of the cuteness and the other drivers are just soo happy nando found his person and started a family and just overload cuteness from the media and the fans and stuff like that 😊(ps: can you make the reader 10-12 years younger than alonso? I’m a sucker for a good age gap!) btw, looooove your writing and smau’s!! Have a good day 🫶🏻
-🦕
home is where the heart is — fernando alonso
genre. social media au pairing. fernando alonso x reader warnings. swearing
author’s note. hello anon! i wasn’t entirely sure if you meant first time after having their second child or first time ever, but i’ve gone with the latter so i hope you like it! also there isn’t a direct reference to the age gap in here sorry :( you can still imagine it that way though because that was my thought process when i was making this <3
liked by formulaupdates and 2,367 others
f1wags Fernando Alonso and his longtime girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N spotted in the paddock for the first time! Y/N has just given birth to their second child, María! What an adorable family 😍
view all comments…
username you’re telling me i’ve been waiting to meet the mystery that is Y/N for YEARS and then she turns up with TWO WHOLE CHILDREN IM GOING TO IMPLODE
username i can’t believe the mystery girlfriend nando’s been hoarding is THIS HOT
username he knows we’ll fight him for her 🤭
username what the FUCK
username two kids?? daddy alonso’s been busy 😳
username STOP 😭😭
username he’s officially a dilf now 🥳🥳🥳
username carmen and maría are so cuteeee 🥹🥹
username i knowwww �� and girl dad nando is SERVING
username look at how he’s got carmen on his shoulders AHHH 🦋🦋🦋
2h ago
liked by yourusername and 65,736 others
tagged: yourusername
fernandoalo_oficial Home race week with mis ángeles ❤️ So glad to have my three greatest loves with me for this special race. Y/N, Carmen y María, os quiero a todos más de lo que puedo decir 💗 / I love you all more than I can ever say. See you in Canada!
view all comments…
username i was NOT prepared to cry today
username stop because this is SO SIGNIFICANT as well?? like before y/n fernando was single for so long and now he’s finally found his person 🥹🥹🥹 i’m not crying u are
username i’m pretty sure ur crying
username don’t EXPOSE me
lancestroll it was so lovely to see y/n and the girls! hope you bring them to the paddock again soon 🤍
yourusername i think carmen would throw a fit of we didn’t 😅 how does canada sound?
lancestroll see you there! 😁
fernandoalo_oficial Do I get a say in this?
yourusername the girls will miss you if you go without us 🥲
fernandoalo_oficial Just the girls? 🤨
yourusername ok maybe i’ll miss you too 😉
username not y/n and nando flirting on main 🫣
lewishamilton So happy for you mate ❤️ Give Y/N and the girls my love x
*fernandoalo_oficial and yourusername liked this comment
fernandoalo_oficial ❤️
carlossainz55 the most beautiful couple 🤍 me alegro mucho por vosotros / so happy for you guys
yourusername gracias carlos ☺️ come visit soon, carmen and maría miss their favourite uncle!
carlossainz55 on my way as we speak
landonorris favourite uncle? am i a joke to you?
maxverstappen1 excuse me i think that title belongs to me 🤨
lancestroll not a chance. i’m their favourite
yourusername boys there’s no need to fight! you can share the title 😌
fernandoalo_oficial Lando is their favourite
landonorris HAHAHHA SUCK ON THAT
username nando really said fuck it let’s cause some chaos 😭
maxverstappen1 beyond happy for you guys (even though i should be the girls’ favourite uncle)
fernandoalo_oficial Keep dreaming, Max!
username yeah you’ve already won enough titles, let the others have this one!
*yourusername liked this comment
username i still want to know how they kept this secret for so long 😭
landonorris i deserve a medal for not telling anyone tbh.
username PHAHAHHA LANDO
astonmartinf1 We’ll be seeing the full Alonso family around our garage again soon, hopefully? 👀
yourusername keep my boyfriend’s car fighting for podiums and then we’ll talk!
username SHE’S JUST LIKE ME FR
username iconic.
#request#fernando alonso imagine#fernando alonso x reader#fernando alonso x you#fernando alonso x oc#fernando alonso x fem!oc#fernando alonso x fem!reader#fernando alonso au#fernando alonso social media au#fernando alonso instagram au#fernando alonso twitter au#fernando alonso fic#fernando alonso fanfic#fernando alonso angst#fernando alonso fluff#fernando alonso smut#fernando alonso blurb#fernando alonso drabble#f1 imagine#formula 1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#f1 fluff#formula 1 fluff#f1 au#formula 1 au#f1 social media au#formula 1 social media au#f1 instagram au#formula 1 instagram au
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CANNELLEE'S MASTERLIST ★
౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ — tokyo revengers & naruto & the seven deadly sins omegaverse headcanons
𐙚 FOR THE REQUESTS : anything is fine as long as it's either about tokyo revengers, naruto or the seven deadly sins. I'm also only accepting omegaverse requests (yandere if you want too, but it needs to be omegaverse as well). and I only write about an omega!reader, with an alpha!character.
(PS : I'm extremely slow at replying but I do write all your requests, as long as it's not something weird).
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
*everything is alpha!tr x omega!reader* / *alpha!naruto au x omega!reader* / *alpha!the seven deadly sins au x omega!reader*
TR SOLO HEADCANONS (+ duos/trios...)
— CHIFUYU
☆ alpha! Chifuyu x omega! Reader
☆ alpha! Baji x alpha! Chifuyu x omega! Reader (+ alpha! Ryusei bonus)
— KAZUTORA
☆ alpha! Kazutora x omega! Reader
☆ alpha! Kazutora x omega! Reader (smut)
☆ alpha! kazutora x omega! reader (mikey makes his omega miserable so kazutora comforts her)
— BAJI
☆ alpha! Baji x omega! Reader
☆ alpha!yandere! Baji x omega! Reader
☆ alpha! Baji x omega! Reader (his reaction to a traumatised and insecure s/o)
☆ alpha! Baji x alpha! Chifuyu x omega! Reader (+ alpha! Ryusei bonus)
☆ alpha! yandere! baji x omega! reader (his reaction to a resistant s/o)
— MIKEY
☆ alpha! Mikey x omega! Reader
☆ alpha! mikey x omega! reader (how does he act during his ruts?)
☆ alpha! mikey x omega! reader (his reaction to a cute and extremely in love omega s/o)
☆ alpha! mikey x omega! reader x alpha! draken (their reaction to a tomboy omega s/o)
☆ alpha! mikey x omega! reader (his reaction to finding his omega asleep during a sleepover, ft. emma + draken / hinata + takemichi)
☆ yandere! alpha! mikey x omega! reader (mikey taking his omega with him during gang meetings)
☆ alpha! mikey x omega! reader (smut : mikey claims his omega friend while she's in heat)
☆ alpha! mikey x omega! reader x alpha! south (you move on from mikey and get courted by south. turns out mikey isn't over you and beats his rival up to get you back + smut)
☆ alpha! mikey x omega! reader x alpha! south : PART 2 (mikey's reaction to you being pregnant with south's kid)
☆ alpha! mikey x omega! reader (his reaction to having an omega shorter than him)
— SHINICHIRO
☆ alpha!loser! Shinichiro x omega! Reader
☆ alpha! shinichiro x omega! reader (smut)
— KAKUCHO
☆ alpha! Kakucho x omega! Reader
☆ alpha! kakucho x omega! reader : soulmate au! (you meet your soulmate, bonten!kakucho, while working in a brothel)
— RAN
☆ alpha! Ran x omega! Reader (smut)
— DRAKEN
☆ alpha! Draken x omega! Reader x omega! Emma
☆ alpha! mikey x omega! reader x alpha! draken (their reaction to a tomboy omega s/o)
☆ alpha! draken x omega! reader x omega! emma (you're dating emma and you both try to get the attention of your crush, draken, by courting him)
— MITSUYA
☆ alpha! mitsuya x omega! reader (his reaction to his omega acting like a mother to his little sisters)
— KOKONOI
☆ alpha! kokonoi x omega! reader (kokonoi with a gacha game addict s/o)
☆ alpha! kokonoi x alpha! taiju x alpha! inupi x omega! reader
— KAWATA TWINS
☆ yandere! alpha! kawata twins x omega! reader (oneshot)
— KOJIRO
☆ alpha! kojiro x omega! reader
— INUPI
☆ alpha! kokonoi x alpha! taiju x alpha! inupi x omega! reader
— TAIJU
☆ alpha! kokonoi x alpha! taiju x alpha! inupi x omega! reader
— SOUTH
☆ alpha! mikey x omega! reader x alpha! south (you move on from mikey and get courted by south. turns out mikey isn't over you and beats his rival up to get you back + smut)
☆ alpha! mikey x omega! reader x alpha! south : PART 2 (mikey's reaction to you being pregnant with south's kid)
TR GENERAL HEADCANONS
☆ how they act around their pregnant omega (mikey, draken, baji, chifuyu, mitsuya, kokonoi, kakucho & taiju)
☆ alpha! Tokyo rev x tall!omega! Reader (mikey, draken, baji, sanzu)
☆ their reactions to their omega feeling safe & happy with them (mikey, draken, baji, chifuyu, takemichi)
☆ what they would give you as a courting gift (mikey, draken, baji, chifuyu, mitsuya)
☆ how easily do they fall for the puppy eyes (mikey, draken, takemichi, sanzu, kokonoi, kazutora, ran, mitsuya, shinichiro)
☆ alpha!yandere! Tokyo revengers x omega reader (pairing : mikey, taiju, mitsuya, draken, kokonoi, izana, sanzu)
☆ their reaction to an omega who loves to do domestic things (pairing: taiju, sanzu, draken, mikey, takemichi, chifuyu, kakucho, inupi, baji, kisaki, hanma, kazutora)
☆ their reaction to an unstable s/o (pairing: kakucho, mikey, izana, hanma)
☆ their reaction to a cute and clumsy s/o (pairing : mikey, mitsuya, chifuyu, kazutora, baji, smiley, kakucho, izana)
☆ their reactions to an omega with a resting bitch face (pairing: kazutora, smiley, angry, shinichiro)
☆ their reaction to their omega being horny (pairing : shinichiro, mikey, izana)
☆ demigod! alpha! tokyo revengers x omega! reader : mythological au! (pairing: kazutora, mitsuya, baji, takemichi, mikey, draken, shinichiro, izana, ran, taiju, kokonoi, kakucho)
☆ medusa! alpha! tokyo revengers x blind! omega! reader : mythological au! (pairing : chifuyu, mikey, mitsuya, baji, izana)
☆ them having feelings for their friend's sister (pairing : chifuyu, mitsuya, kokonoi)
NARUTO SOLO HEADCANONS (+ duos, trios...)
— NARUTO
☆ alpha!naruto x omega! reader
☆ alpha! naruto x omega! reader x alpha! sasuke
— SASUKE
☆ alpha! naruto x omega! reader x alpha! sasuke
NARUTO GENERAL HEADCANONS
☆ what they would give you as a courting gift (pairing : naruto, sasuke, shikamaru, rock lee, neji, itachi)
THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS SOLO HEADCANONS (+ duos, trios...)
-
THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS GENERAL HEADCANONS
☆ what type of alpha are they (pairing : meliodas, ban, king, guilthunder, escanor)
𐙚 STRAWBERRY HEADER'S CREDITS: @astralnymphh
#a/b/o tokyo revengers#alpha tokyo revengers#cannelle★#tokyo rev x reader#omegaverse tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers a/b/o#tokyo revengers headcanons#tokyo revengers omegaverse#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyo revengers imagines#tokyo revengers headcanon#tokyo revengers harem#tokyorev x reader#omegaverse tokyo revengers headcanons#tokyo revengers omegaverse headcanons#alpha mikey#alpha baji#chifuyu omegaverse#draken imagine#mitsuya x reader#alpha kakucho#naruto omegaverse#a/b/o naruto#naruto omegaverse headcanons#alpha naruto#sasuke omegaverse#the seven deadly sins x reader#the seven deadly sins headcanons#the seven deadly sins omegaverse#omega!reader
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Comments and fic links below! (PS: click to see not crap quality photos/videos)
First finished ficbind for 2024, and first that I actually tried my hand at gold leafing (compared to previous use of gold inking). The gilding uses a hand-painted on glue and then the gold sheet overload and rubbed off; since the glue is put down not flat it adds a bit of texture to it, much like embroidery which I found cool. The design was based off a old cover design which I altered slightly to fit for the title of the book; been wanting to use one of the designs for a very long time now so rather chuffed to use one this time round, and (generally) well please with the typesetting. I actually painted the cover all in one long day with one piece running in the background during the holidays, lol. Two photos below are WIP photos and one including one of my su-purr-visors on my very cluttered desk. He's since passed due to being hit by a car, so the photos of him supervising me for this fanbind is something special to me.
The book itself contains mainly the Trigun vashwood fic Trillium and Ivy and upon remembering that there's a few other shorter stories involved, it became an impromptu anthology of the series. So overall it contains:
Trillium and Ivy (E, 80k)
Nick Wolfwood is the new director of Conrad-Chapel Funeral Home in May City, located across the street from Saverem Greenhouse & Landscaping. Over time, the owner, Vash, gets to know Nick and introduces him to the rest of the neighborhood, including local busybodies and married feminist bookshop owners Meryl and Milly. Vash and Nick are inexorably drawn to each other until they have to start admitting their feelings.
But Vash's brother, co-owner of the garden center, hasn't left his past as far behind as the twins had hoped when they started their lives over in May.
Raise a Glass to the Turnings of the Season (G, 7k)
A collection of small ficlets set in the universe of Trillium and Ivy, a modern AU in which Wolfwood runs a funeral home across the street from Vash and Knives' garden center.
Regarding the subjects of hospital visits, body image issues, adoption, laundry, and more.
I've seen all the demons that you've got (T, 8k)
The Hollywood-glam-slash-mad-scientist meet cute is going perfectly well, thank you. Except for all the anxiety, loneliness, insomnia, nightmares, body dysmorphia, identity struggles, poor communication, stalkers, arson, kidnapping, drugs, and concussions.
Other than those things... Knives might actually be onto a good thing in his life for once.
[A brief look into Knives' experience during Trillium and Ivy, a modern AU in which Wolfwood runs a funeral home across the street from Vash and Knives' garden center.]
#rose serpent press#rose serpent bindery#bookbinding#fanbinding#renegade bindery#fanfiction#vashwood#vashwood fanfic#vash x wolfwood#wolfwood x vash#wolfwood#nicholas d. wolfwood#vash the stampede#trigun#trigun maximum#trigun manga#trigun vash#nicholas the punisher
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Wedding + Holiday (Instagram AU)
Pairing: Carlos Sainz x Reader
All pictures from Pinterest, Instagram, and Tumblr
@/Y/N.Y/L Wedding and Holiday. Congrats to @/yoursister on the wedding! Hope you have fun on your honeymoon!
Tagged @/yoursister and @/carlossainz55
Liked by @/yoursister, @/carlossainz55, and 29,475 others
yoursister Thank you for coming! We'll have to meet up when we get back
Y/N.Y/L Yes, we should
carlossainz55 Congrats, @/yoursister! I had a great time, @/Y/N.Y/L. I love you! <3
Y/N.Y/L Love you, too!
user1 You two are so cute together! Also, congrats @/yoursister
user2 Congrats! Have a good time!
@/carlossainz55 Had a great trip, thanks @/Y/N.Y/L for the invite. Congrats to @/yoursister!
Tagged @/yoursister and @/Y/N.Y/L
Liked by @/Y/N.Y/L, @/yoursister, and 249,581 others
yoursister Thanks, Carlos! Glad you had a good time. Hope to see you again soon!
Liked by @/carlossainz55
Y/N.Y/L You're welcome! Love you! (PS: You look very handsome)
carlossainz55 I love you, too (PS: You look very beautiful)
user3 That's so cute!
user4 They are adorable and so in love... I want it
#carlos sainz#carlos sainz jr#carlos sainz imagine#carlos sainz x reader#f1#f1 imagines#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au
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Okay, I don't know how this works so bare with me. I was thinking about Hanji having a little sister and Levi is smitten by her right from out of the Underground? First off, I don't think the sister should be like Hanji but a bit more serious and not that 🤪. Secondly, Hanji not approving Levi at first but later on she knows her sister is in good hands and could rest in peace? I don't know if this makes sense but I would love to see this.
Anon also said: Sorry! I'm the same one from the Hanji's sister. And I wanted the sister to be a medic so she could be with the Survey corps and the storyline is basically from the start to finish with a bit of post-war Levi. Thank you! PS: sister has glasses like Hanji!
Message to anon: Hi! Thank you for the ask. I won't be doing the full storyline you want as it would mean I would be writing a full fic! For this, I will do their first meeting and post-war.
One meeting, life time of love
Levi x fem!reader
Canon Au, post-war, fluff, romance, becoming a couple, being a couple, reader wear glasses, Hange's sister.
Your first romantic meeting with Levi and your sweet romance after the war.
@ladycheesington @levisbrat25 @nyxiieluna @li-anne @galactict3a @youre-ackermine @thebobaprincess @2moth-anon2 @cypidity @notgoodforlife @demonsimp6 @nbinairyn
"SIS!" Hange poked her head around your door. "Hi!"
You smiled at her. "You're back!" You hugged your eldest sister and pulled back. "How are you?"
"Excited! Mike and Erwin came back with a new recruit and he's so cool!"
You hummed a laugh. "I'm glad you mad a new friend."
She turned a little. "Here he is! He needs a medical check up. Can you do that?"
"Sure."
"Come here, Levi. This is my sister." Hange said your name with pride. "Best medic out there!"
Levi grumbled a bit. "Tch, I'm fine four eyes. I don't need checking."
You smiled sweetly. "I'll make it quick."
He glared at you and then paused a moment. His anger washed away and was replaced with a very strong emotion of attraction and love. His cheeks burned red as he admired your beauty. He had never seen someone more beautiful in his life before.
He moved closer to you as if he was in his own world. "You're pretty."
You giggled. "Thank you."
"You can take your time with me."
Hange pouted. "Excuse you? That's my little sister!"
You ushered her out. "I'm not little, I'm only a few years younger than you and he is near my age, probably a year or two older." You shoved her out of the room. "He's cute. Give me a shot."
"He's a thug. You deserve better."
"You don't know what I want or deserve. I love you, Hange, but I'm giving it a go." You closed the door and walked over to Levi. "Hi, so, let's exam you."
He nodded and pulled his shirt off. "I'm all yours."
You felt your cheeks burn. "You didn't need to take your shirt off."
Levi blushed. "Tch, shit."
You giggled. "It's okay. It will allow me to do a deeper exam."
He gulped hard. "G-Good."
You walked around him and inspected him. You used different tools, made notes and summed everything up. "Well, handsome, you are very healthy after coming from out of the underground. You should be proud."
He buttoned up his shirt. "That's great news."
You nodded. "Yes. It's wonderful. I will say though, you are lacking sleep." You walked up to him and touched under his eyes. "Years of surviving, huh?"
He leaned into your touch. "Yes."
You smiled. "I know how to get some sleep."
"You do?"
You nodded. "Yes, it starts with you coming on a date with me."
Levi's cheeks burned. "I...uh..."
"Oh, I read the room wrong." You nervously laughed. "Well, shit. Sorry."
Levi hurried up to you and held your hands. "Wait. You caught me by surprise is all. I uh, I would like to take you on a date."
You giggled. "I look forward to it."
The sun was so warm on Levi's skin as he sat handing our supplies to families in need. After the war, he helped out at the camps giving food, and you provided medical support. Levi was so proud of you as you healed people and cared for children. Levi recovered quickly from his wounds because of you.
"How you doing there, handsome?"
Levi smiled at your voice. "I'm doing well."
You leaned down and kissed him. "Do you need a rest?"
"I guess I could."
You walked behind him and pushed his chair. "Let's go have a picnic. I made us some tea and snacks."
He felt his heart flutter. "Thank you."
You leaned down and kissed his cheek. "You're most welcome."
A bit of guilt crept into his heart when you placed him in a stunning spot. His eye tracked you as you moved around setting up the delicious lunch. "Um."
You looked over at Levi. "What is it, my darling husband?"
He lowered his head. "About Hange...I should have...stopped her."
You held Levi's hands. "Hange made her choice. She loved us, both of us. She wanted us to be happy. I know at first she rejected us as a couple, but she came around to it." You leaned over and kissed him. "Do not blame yourself for her death. I am proud of my sister."
He smiled. "She was a pain in my ass, but she was good."
You giggled. "She was."
"I'm glad you're not mad or anything at me."
"I'm not." You sat on his lap and showered his face in kisses. "I have the best and most handsome man in the world as my husband. I am blessed."
He squeezed you. "I'm the blessed one."
You leaned down and grabbed Levi's drink. You offered it to him and smiled as he sipped it happily. "I love you, Levi. I'll always love you."
"I love you forever."
You kissed him and hummed. "Maybe I should give you a full medical check up when we get home."
He frowned. "I feel fine. I don't need...oh...oooh, you meant." He blushed hard. "Yes please."
#levi ackerman#levi#aot levi#snk levi#aot fanfiction#levi x you#levi x y/n#levi fanfiction#fanfic#levi x reader#jelly fanfics#levi x reader fluff#captain levi ackerman x reader#captain levi x you#captain levi fanfiction#captain levi x reader#captain levi#levi x yn#levi ackerman fanfiction#levi ackerman fic#levi ackerman x female reader#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman x you#levi ackerman x y/n
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Kith
synopsis; in which Jin can’t resist the adorable toddler antics of his daughter, not even when he’s on a vlive.
pairing; dad!seokjin x mom!reader
genre; fluff, humor, drabble, idol au, domestic au, dad au, vlive au, married au
warnings; just Jin being the sweetest dad ever 🥹
rating; PG-13
w/c; 707
a/n; but like, can y’all picture it as much as I have? this is something he would most definitely do for his little one and I’m not SOBBING you are!!!! ps - kith is how I used to say ‘kiss’ when I was young as well as say ‘lippy’ when I wanted to wear lipstick/chapstick sooooo that’ll be incorporated in this fic. 😙
Jin could hear the shuffle of tiny feet and loud giggles before his office door swung open, only to slam back against the wall. He made an involuntary wince, nervous chuckle spilling out.
In an instant the vlive was flooded with the same topic of comments, more than well aware who the culprit was behind the noise from previous streams.
OMG WHERE IS SHE????
ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE SHE’S BEEN ON HERE!!!
You tried, you really tried.
There was only so much you could do to entertain your 3 year old daughter while her father did his vlive in the other room. From Barbie’s, to cars, to board games, to books, to arts and crafts, to dance parties, to glitter, to glam —
Which unfortunately for Jin, was the last thing you both did before your daughter decided that enough was enough and your makeover was complete so now she was determined to do daddy’s as well.
By the time your exhausted body was able to make it to his office, she had already made herself comfortable on his lap. She was waving at the camera and smiling wide, lipstick stained teeth being shown to who knows how many people tonight. Jin’s eyes flicker up to meet your apologetic ones behind the camera, mouth opening to assure you that it was okay, when your daughter decided she had other plans.
“Daddy, lippy!” She demanded, thrusting her small hands your way. You raise a brow at her, crossing your arms over your chest.
Your voice is calm, but stern.
“What do we say, love?”
She pouts cutely, bottom lip jutting out as she sinks into her father’s embrace at your ‘mom’ voice.
“Pwease, can I have lippy?”
“Well, baby, that depends on daddy and if he wants to wear lippy.”
All it takes is one puppy dog eyed look from his daughter and he’s sighing in defeat, nodding his head at you and putting his hand out towards you to grab the lipstick container from you.
You mouth the words ‘sorry, honey’ as you give it to him. He gives you a playful glare, but smiles to let you know not to take him seriously. Sitting off to the side, still behind the camera, you sit down on the large bean bag your husband insisted he needed in his home office.
You watch the chaos unfold with a content smile. Your daughter turns around in his lap, and once he hands her the uncapped lipstick, all caution gets thrown to the wind. Once she deems him to be done, she looks over at you with one last demand from her tiny, devious little mind.
She brings her hands out wide, to then quickly smash them together with a loud clap.
“Now, kith!”
You and Jin look at each other, having a silent conversation. In the end, he just shrugs his shoulders and leaves the decision up to you. You close your eyes, letting out a quiet exhale, before you heave yourself back up to stand, walking over to them the short distance and into the view of the camera for the first time.
The comments begin to explode over what they see, but not from the sweet kiss you have with your husband, no.
It’s because of your very obvious, pregnant belly that sticks out like a sore thumb. Something you both have kept secret for 7 months now.
When you pull away, he plants a kiss on your white oversized t-shirt wearing belly, leaving a perfect lipstick stain of his lips. You lean your body sideways against him, and his head lays on your belly. Your daughter gives a small kiss of her own and when you stare at the monitor of your perfect little soon to be family of four, your heart bursts with both warmth and love.
Your daughter lets out a big yawn, and Jin just laughs, patting her head.
“Alright, looks like it’s time to sign off. Thank you everyone for joining and all of the congratulations and well wishes for the new baby. Till next time, bye!”
As if all of you planned it prematurely, you all pucker your lips at the camera while you wave, and give the heart sign.
#kim seokjin x reader#kim seokjin x you#seokjin x reader#seokjin x you#jungkook angst#jin x you#jin x reader#jin fluff#jin angst#jin humor#kim seokjin#bts kim seokjin#jin drabble#drabble#short drabble#dad au#domestic au
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oh had a vivid plot idea for a celebrity destiel au where cas and dean don't get along when they first meet and on the first day of filming or whatever (idk how this works i don't know Hollywood) cas shows up at dean's like. hotel room or whatever. and he's like. we should totally do it. and dean's like wuh — HUH? and cas is like clearly we have a lot of unresolved tension and i would prefer for this shoot to go smoothly etc and he's also fully prepared like he has brought his little kit of paraphernalia and dean is just standing there like. head empty no thoughts steam coming out of his ears. and cas is like this is normal i do this w everyone great way to break the ice and dean is like. yeah. okay. we are not doing this. how about we like. just. idk have dinner and talk and get to know each other like normal people and we can decide to stop fighting and cas is are you sure that seems like a dubious method which will not yield positive results and dean's like mmhmm. yeah mmhmm I'm so sure pls get out of my room and take your bag of sex objects with you and cas is like. sigh. fine. but it's like. funny to Dean after he leaves and he's like aww this guy is dorky. and then they go have dinner and it's a mess that first night but they get along eventually and fall in love and then they have to deal with their feelings and then they do have sex but it's all sweet and cute and whatnot. the end.
oh ps: cas makes an allusion to dean's preferences in the bed room one time at the beginning and he's like yk i am up for anything you can just tell me and dean's like wtf and cas is like. Crowley. and dean's is like CROWLEY?! YOU AJD CROWLEY?! and cas is like. yeah. also he will totally be a third if we ask and dean just about passes out in public from the embarrassment. (oh edit; like basically dean and Crowley also and crowley just talks. about his exploits. that's what I was meaning to. convey.)
#this is CRACKY BTW IT'S STUPID#mdni#pls my brain is so stupid after midnight like you don't even KNOW#doe is talking again#spn headcanons#destiel celebrity au
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I had an idea that I think could be a cute fic! So basically the reader gets very nervous on airplanes but they randomly end up sitting next to Gunil and he distracts them by babbling about random things. Like a strangers to something vibe. PS: I absolutely adore your work and I always reread your fics when I have a bad day. I hope you have an absolutely amazing 2024❤️
This idea was cute! Thank you that means so much. I hope you don't have too many bad days 2024 💕
Goo Gunil
Summary: Flying always made you nervous, however the guy sitting next to you was pretty good at keeping you distracted. (idol/non-idol au)
WC:915
Warning:none
photo not mine credits to owner.
Your nerves increased the closer it got to your flight time. You woke up anxious in the morning and it only got worse when you arrived at the airport. Leg bouncing up and down in the uncomfortable plastic chair. Your flight was called to board and heart rate picked up as you picked up your bags. Taking deep breaths as you walk. Reminding yourself that you’ve only been on safe flights in the past and this one wouldn’t be any different.
Once you boarded the plane you made your way to your seat, wiping your palms on your knees as you sat down. You took a couple more deep breaths to help ground yourself.
“Hi, excuse me. That’s my seat.” A somewhat buff looking guy giving you a kind smile pointed to the seat beside yours.
“Oh uh- you know what it’ll probably be easier if I just,” you murmured about standing up and stepping into the aisle. Then you gestured for him to walk to his seat without having to worry about awkwardly bumping legs. He gave you a small nod still wearing a smile and walked to his seat with you following right behind him. You took a glance over to the guy to find him already looking at you.
“I’m Gunil,” he introduced himself.
“I’m y/n,” you took your turn introducing yourself.
“Nice to meet you,” he commented.
“You too,” you returned. You leaned back in your seat, starting to feel your nerves setting in even more.
Soon enough it was time for your plane to take off resulting in your nerves becoming the highest they have been all day. Hands shaking as you try to fasten your seat belt. Your shaking hands catch Gunil’s attention.
“Are you ok?” he asked you. You look over at him,
“Yeah, flying just makes me nervous.” you look back down at the buckle trying to click your seat belt together.
“Here.” Gunil places his calm, warm hands over yours, taking the seat belt from your shaking hands and does it for you.
“Thank you,” you tell him sheepishly trying to fight off the blush that’s creeping up your neck.
“No problem. You know I used to attend Berklee,” Gunil shares.
“Really? So you do music then?” you questioned.
“I’m pretty good at playing the drums,” he pronounced and drummed his finger against the armrest of his seat.
“That’s cool,” you said.
“Do you have any musical talents?” he prompts. You shook your head.
“I’m only good at listening to music,” you half laugh.
“That’s still good. Musicians need people like you to support them,” he says. You hardly even noticed the plane beginning to lift off due to Gunil proving to be a solid distraction. “Do you have a favorite artist?” You told him your favorite artist and surprisingly Gunil was a fan of them too. Which leads to you two having an excited conversation about what songs are your favorite. The plane is now fully up in the air and the flight is going smoothly, yet Gunil keeps talking to you. He was definitely good at talking. Being able to seamlessly tell one story right after another and jump from topic to topic with ease.
You couldn’t keep from laughing after Gunil told a joke, but the joke itself wasn’t really that funny. It was his laugh that made you laugh. You found out that Gunil is a person whose laugh is funnier than the joke. It worked to your benefit though since it kept your mind from being able to think about being miles high in the sky. That was until your plane hit a bit of turbulence causing your heart to drop and anxiety to fill your stomach. However Gunil’s hand easily slipped into your own. His thumb stroking the back of your hand soothingly. Your anxiety seemed to melt away with each stroke that you were focusing on more than whatever story he was telling you now. Even after you had calmed down Gunil’s hand stayed in yours and you were glad about it. Finding that you were quickly growing fond of the man you’ve known for about two hours now. Gunil seemed to be growing just as fond of you as he brushed some stray strands of hair from your face with his free hand.
When your flight was landing Gunil squeezed your hand extra tight while telling you a funny story about his dog. The two of you exited the plane together and waited by the baggage claim.
“Thank you,” you thanked him.
“It’s no problem. This was probably one of my favorite flights actually,” he states.
“Mine too,” you smiled at him. You picked up your bag when you saw it come around. Gunil’s came around shortly after and he grabbed his too. “I guess this is it,” you voiced.
“Could I get your number actually? I would like to get to know you more,” he asked. He sounds a bit awkward for the first time since he started talking to you.
“Sure, I wanna get to know you more too,” you told him, taking out your phone. The two of you exchanged numbers.
“Great, I’ll text you,” he says.
“I’ll be waiting,” you replied. With a wave goodbye the pair of you split. You had just settled your things into the car when your phone went off.
“Didn’t want you to wait too long :)” it was a text from Gunil and it made your heart flutter.
#xdinary heroes#xdh#xdh imagines#xdh x reader#xdinary heroes imagines#xdinary heroes x reader#xh gunil#gunil x reader#gunil fluff#goo gunil#koo gunil#gunil#xdh gunil#gunil imagines#xdinary heroes fluff
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i would love to hear any thoughts about the guys finding out damian’s paternity in the secretary au? how does everyone handle it? ps your writing is a refuge against all the canon typical jason and the fam angst and its so good to have a bit of cute jason centric goodness 🥰
When Bruce returns home from another late night at the office, the last thing he expects is to be confronted by what appears to be an intervention. Not an uncommon occurrence for this family, but definitely not appreciated given Bruce is already running late for patrol.
A patrol that Nightwing and Robin should have already gotten a start on, yet here they are. Dressed, ready, and yet still lingering for him.
Something dire must have happened. His only consolation is that Jason is safe. Bruce made sure of it, as he often does. Seeing Jason home. Leaving, only to double back and linger. Watching through a broken window and sheer curtains at a spill of golden light to catch one more glimpse of his darling boy.
Ah, it's most definitely an intervention.
To dawdle like he does, as often as he does — it's possible it hasn't been without consequence to his responsibilities. For as motivated and reinvigorated as he feels towards his cause now that Jason is returned to him, Bruce can't protect this city if he can't tear himself from Jason's side...
But also? Where better to stake himself than at the heart of this city?
"We were delayed at the office." Bruce defends himself like a child caught out and not the grown man he is, sweeping through the cave and towards his costume. "Given the hour, I chose to see Jason home safely."
No one says anything. Tim doesn't call Bruce out on the truths he stretches — how the only delay that kept them at WE was due to Bruce's insistence on having misplaced his keys and needing help finding them. Being distracted by playful ribbing and witty humor throughout; shared stories of Jason's misadventures in child care — forgotten diaper bags and missing shoes, a hat blown away on a breeze.
'Lost things have a way of turning up where they're needed.' Jason had said, content because that forgotten diaper bag helped a struggling mother that was down on her luck and the shoe Damian kicked off on a walk made a homeless man smile at memories of softer times and the hat became a nest for some birds—
'If we're lucky they make their way back to us.' Jason told him, with a firm pat to Bruce's breast pocket where his keys jingled together. And Bruce stood there, awestruck as he raised his hand. Fingers brushing over Jason's hand before Jason pulled away, smile wide and impish. And Bruce smiled back, head dipping to play at sheepish while really his chest was simply overfull with gratefulness.
Lucky, indeed.
Not so lucky is that his fortune only extended up until the point with this intervention. Even Alfred is here to badger him, it seems. It’s laughable, given the three of them would or have done the same as him. Hypocrites, Bruce thinks petulantly.
"Start your routes." Bruce calls to them, a hail mary to hopefully spare himself from whatever is coming. When no one budges, Bruce frowns. Sighs, "Unless there's something pressing?"
The question has everyone shifting their gaze away from him with uncertainty. Even their body language is closed off, though maybe their mirrored crossed arms are an attempt to self-soothe? Bruce's brows furrow. He turns his focus to Dick who meets his eye and Bruce's frown deepens at the wariness he finds there.
"What is it?" He prompts even as he turns to dress. A quick process for how often he's done it. Whatever intervention they have staged, whatever trouble has come their way — it will have to be resolved while they're on the move. It really is late.
And yet they continue to wait. It tests Bruce's patience, though when he starts to bristle, Alfred clears his throat and prompts him, "It would do you well to take a seat, Master Bruce."
Ah. Bruce shoots a fleeting glance at the Batmobile, gauging if he can make a break for it before his sons tackle him and force his compliance. As that was one of the points of a prior intervention, Bruce decides to sit. If only to prove a point.
When he's handed loose pages, Bruce looks to Tim for a summary. Their usual routine, only this time his partner is not forthcoming. Tim looks pointedly down at the pages before looking back to Bruce, a somberness to his expression that has Bruce giving the report his full attention.
The report being... a paternity test? For Damian.
Bruce scans it, pausing when he comes across the results. Doubling back and rereading it properly because oh.
In no uncertain terms: it's Bruce.
A fine tremble in his hand gives away his nerves. The report shakes in his hold, worsened when Bruce slouches forward to read the results again, again, again. He hides the lower half of his face with his hand, brow furrowed as he tries and fails to wrap his head around such extraordinary circumstances.
Everything falls away from him. There's static in his ears, beneath his skin. Being a father is of no consequence to him — he has three wonderful sons already, he would be so lucky to have another, it's just...
"I have a son..." His voice sounds far away to his own ears. Soft-eyed, breathless, he marvels, "with Jason."
He thinks of Jason's romanticized views of being lost — of going to where you're needed and can't shake that Jason was lost to him to find Damian. To bring him home.
Maybe Bruce's luck hasn't run out quiet yet, after all.
Silence trails Bruce's proclamation, followed in short order by Alfred turning away from him — the bridge of his nose pinched between his fingers. Tim follows suit, head tipped back and hands scrubbing down his face, muffling exasperated gibberish. And Dick, who Bruce watches most pointedly, balks.
"That's not what the test says," Dick bristles, "Absolutely not!"
===========
What's tough is that Bruce can't up and claim to Jason that Bruce is Damian's father, either. That would hardly go over well. Jason is so protective of Damian that Bruce would be put in the ground for overstepping with his unconsented for paternity test — the authorities wouldn't even have a chance at him.
But also? Bruce can't go on like he knows nothing. He wants to be involved in Damian's life. He wants to be a father with Jason.
So. Baby steps. Which Dick and Tim are so petulant about because it involves them covering for Batman's patrol one night. Meaning they can't hang out at the manor with Jason and Damian when they come by for dinner. This is about a kid and their father though, so Dick and Tim begrudgingly lay low (and are grumpy about it all the while).
But yes, Damian being icy with Bruce because he associates Bruce with being the one to always take Jason away. And Jason has explained it's work, but Damian is peeved regardless.
To everyone's surprise, Bruce focusing more on Damian than Jason?? With Bruce kneeling to be more at eye level with this boy. And telling Damian that he can come with Jason to work whenever he wants; it's okay.
Which Jason is !!! about because what? Boundaries, boss. Not that he doesn't appreciate it.
Bruce insists though because "he does keep Jason occupied more than he should" but low-key...it's an opportunity to spend more time with his son if Damian visits, so...
Just Bruce trying to be a good dad even if he can't openly be a dad ;U;
Something something Damian bonding with Dick more though and Bruce gets it, but like (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
Extra odds and ends:
Going to the park together! And Bruce brings Ace and Damian adores him so much. The dog, not necessarily Bruce.
Just this sweet family walking together. With Damian holding the leash (that Bruce also holds on to) and ahhhhhh it's sweet
But also... the park is Dick and Damian's thing. So Bruce notices Damian looking around and questions it. And when Jason admits that he's looking for Dick, Bruce is so petulant and grumpy and jealous and ಠ_ಠ
Jason taking Bruce up on bringing Damian into the office one day. Because the assassin sitter got tied up on a job. Only there's an emergency with Tim so Jason has to attend to that and it's just Bruce and Damian.
And they probably sit across from one another at Bruce's desk and Bruce is all severe while Damian stares at him and clicks his tongue and insists on being difficult ahahahaha
Tim coming back with Jason later and both Bruce and Damian click their tongues at Tim for taking up Jason's attention and it's their first moment really connecting on something ahhhhhahaha
But yeah, the Talia reveal might come later and in a completely anticlimactic way. Where Bruce probably asks after Damian's mother and Jason casually name drops Talia. And Bruce is convinced it's a coincidence, but then Jason throws out the Al Ghul name and Bruce is ko'd, utterly o(-( because okay, he needs a minute.
==============
A big thank you for the sweet message, too! Sometimes I worry the way I write Jason is unlikable since my take on him is a little more soft/silly, so this was very assuring. ;/////;
#secretary au#brujay#words#this reads very batfam but I couldn't resist shipping undertones whoops //3//
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A/B/O Office AU Dream sneaking his used panties in Hob's workbag on the days he can't be there himself, so nobody doubts even for a second that he is happy, mated and a father to be (or afterwards, a father of three).
Basically a big "Fuck off, he's taken" to everyone in the vicinity and a nice treat for Hob. (Hob pretends he doesn't notice but. Nobody could ignore a cloud of pregnant omega pheromones this big and he is kinda into it, so. It also annoys Sharon, and Sharon hasn't yet got the memo that omegas no longer have to choose between being a stay at home parent and working, so it's a double win.)
🦒Anon
(ps: I hope you're well. Your blog gives me great joy.)
Ajajsjdjhf I love this omegaverse office au so much!! Thank you so much darling anon.
Ohhh just imagine Hob walking into meetings where people are gossiping about Dream and how "maybe he'll finally settle down and be proper omega now he's knocked up". Hob would usually go into protective alpha mode and start a major argument with his colleagues but this time? He just flips his bag open and lets those pregnant omega pheromones absolutely cloud the room. A very pointed reminder that Dream is going nowhere.
Dream absolutely loves the idea of his scent sticking to Hob like glue. The other omegas in the office are quite keen to flirt with the kind, gentle alpha while Dream is away, and he's determined to remind everyone that Hob is HIS. Dream is certainly the more dominant one in the relationship, and he'll also quite gladly send his alpha off to work covered in purple bite marks. That, combined with the fact that Hob has taken to carrying the dirty panties in his pocket? Pretty much wards off any competition.
The panties themselves are certainly a treat. They get bigger as Dream goes through his pregnancy, and the scent also grows more potent. Hob is secretly loving the way Dream is wearing these massive, leakproof, elasticated panties instead of the cute little thongs he wore in the old days. It's another reminder that he's got his omega good and pregnant. There's nothing more arousing than that.
He can't wait to see Dream back in his element at the office some day but for now Hob is very pleased to know that his precious omega is relaxing at home, leaking into another pair of underwear just for him <333
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Of Fathers and Sons 》 Baby Fever AU
Loki Laufeyson x fem!Reader
Request:
"Daddy! Loki idea❤️
Baby's first bifrost
YN and Loki are going to visit grandparents Odin & Frigga and YN is nervous about the bifrost. Loki comforts her.
Also bonus points for cute grandparents stuff!" - Requested by my lovely friend @lokisgoodgirl ! Thank you for the cute request! 😄💚
Summary: It's time for Ella's first travel with the Bifrost - and not just that... There's someone important she is about to meet...
Warnings: fluff, itsy-bitsy bit of angst, fluff!
Word Count: 2,4k
a/n: The first request for the Baby Fever AU - yaaay! 🥳💚 I had so much fun writing this! The request inspired me, so I added my idea to the fic. I hope that's okay, @lokisgoodgirl! 😊 It's quite a bit emotional - and I love it. 😁 Ps. I didn't want to spoiler much. That's the reason why the summary is so short. 😂🙈 The title just came into my mind and I kinda liked it. 😊
Tagging: @lokisgoodgirl @lovingchoices14 @evelyn-kingsley @jennyggggrrr @acefeather2002 @lulubelle814 @vbecker10 @theaudacitytowrite
If you want to be added to my Loki Taglist, let me know! :D
Find the Baby Fever AU Masterlist here! :D
"Do you really think she's going to be fine?" Y/N asked, biting her lip nervously. Her gaze was fixated on the small baby girl, who slept peacefully in the baby car seat; pink dummy in her mouth. "Darling..." Loki began, stepping over to his wife and placing both his hands on her shoulders, giving them a reassuring squeeze. "I promise you, Ella will be perfectly fine. The Bifrost is not going to harm her. Trust me." The young woman inhaled deeply, but gave her Prince a soft smile. "Have I ever not trusted you, Lokes?" "Have I ever given you a reason to not trust me?" The cunning Trickster winked with a smirk. Y/N rolled her eyes playfully at his repartee. "No." His hands travelled up to cup her cheeks, "See?" before he dipped his head to press a soft kiss on her lips. "Shall we leave then? I bet my parents are expecting us already." Y/N nodded, "Yes. Let's go." and grabbed Ella's changing bag, while Loki squatted down in front of the baby car seat, carefully unbuckling the straps, which secured her. Loki already felt bad for what he was about to do, but it was better that way... He slipped his hands underneath Ella's small body and lifted her up - what caused her to slightly stir already. Loki held her with one arm and bounced her gently up and down in order to somehow wake her up. They had both agreed, that it was probably for the best, if Ella was awake for her first proper travel experience with the Bifrost - not to irritate her or something.
Her face contorted in her sleep, a frown spreading on her forehead. "Come one, baby girl, wake up." He stroked her cheeks in addition and pinched softly - not to hurt her, her tiny feet, which were wrapped up in the footsies of the white, pink rompers she wore. That caused her to finally wake up, big blue eyes fluttering open. On an instant, the small girl started to whimper and whine, causing the dummy to fall from her mouth on Loki's arm. "I know, princess, I know..." Loki whispered, pressing small kisses on her head. "Daddy is so sorry, but it's better that way..." Those words didn't seem to reassure Ella. She was still upset that her sleep has been so rudely interrupted; small cries leaving her pouty lips. Not even a kiss from her mama could help... Loki grabbed with his free hand the baby car seat, continuously bouncing Ella on his other arm, trying to calm her down. "Ready, love?" Loki asked, looking compassionately at Y/N, knowing that she had been quite a bit anxious about that. Also, because the Bifrost made her throw up most of the times... "Yeah." "Alright. Hold on to me?" The Y/H/C haired woman nodded once again and wrapped her arms around Loki's waist, changing bag slung over her shoulder. The prince looked up at the ceiling. "Heimdall? We are rea-" He couldn't even finish his sentence, before the familiar rainbow light swallowed them whole. While Y/N let out a squeal and held on to her husband for dear life, Ella had stopped her crying, surprised by the sudden change of her surroundings. She looked around, before her wide blue eyes met her father's identical ones, tiny mouth agape. Loki smiled at his daughter, witnessed how her confusion turned into fascination. No second later, the tiny girl started to giggle, looking around in awe, watching how the rainbow lights danced in front of her eyes. Unfortunately, it was over very soon, as Loki and Y/N felt the Asgardian ground beneath their feet. "Oh gods, not again..." Groaned the woman, immediately turning away from her God to, well... Throw up. What else?
"Every time..." She whined, turning back, only to see Loki smiling amusingly. "Stop laughing! That's not funny!" Y/N slapped his arm. "I'm sorry, darling." Loki quickly apologised and kissed her. "But... Look! Ella's fine! She even had her fun. Giggled through the whole travel, right princess?" He teased Y/N a bit, kissing Ella on her head again. "You're being mean." Loki chuckled. "No, I am not." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Yes, you are." "No, I am not. I just stated the facts." Y/N pouted. "I love you. Now come on." He reached out his hand for Y/N to take. She sighed, but of course, took it. "Love you too, you cheeky, mischievous scamp." This caused Loki to chuckle again.
Together they made their way to the palace, passing by Heimdall, of course. "Heimdall." The raven-haired man greeted him with a nod. "Prince Loki, Princess Y/N... The carriage awaits you." He took a small bow and smiled at the couple. It was the third time for Y/N that she had the privilege to enter one of Asgards golden carriages, drawn by two white horses - and she was still totally enchanted by it, feeling like the princess she actually was. For Ella, it was the first time. Okay, strictly speaking it was her second time, but Y/N didn't count the one time when she had been pregnant. Loki handed Ella over to her mother and turned to open the golden door of the carriage for his girls, being the charming gentleman he was. "My princesses..." He said with a smile, gesturing inside the carriage. Y/N giggled and curtsied, "Thank you, my prince." before she climbed inside. Loki followed after, baby car seat in hands. When they were all seated properly, the carriage set into motion. Y/N couldn't help the giddy feeling inside her. She still quite couldn't grasp after all those years that she was practically speaking royalty. And yet she looked so 'Midgardian' - as Loki would put it. A normal summer dress and ballerinas. She suppressed a giggle. "What is it, love?" Loki asked, an amused smile on his face. "Nothing, babe. It's just... I still can't believe I am a princess and looking so... normal." He chuckled. "Well, I am not better, am I?" "You are. You're at least wearing a shirt and suit trousers." They had a laugh together, while Ella was in Y/N's lap, dummy back in her mouth and already half asleep again. "Seems like riding a carriage lulls her to sleep." Loki stated, smiling down at the baby girl. "Seems so, yeah..."
Once they had reached the big, spacious, golden palace of Asgard, they went straight for the gardens, where they had been already awaited for tea-time…
"Mother." Loki smiled, when he approached the golden garden table, at which Frigga sat, seemingly enjoying the sun on her skin. The prince's voice caught her attention, of course and Frigga stood immediately up, meeting her son on the way. "Loki." The Queen smiled and wrapped him up in a big hug. "Hello, mother." Y/N stood behind, watched with a smile. Her heart clenched at the sight. She adored the deep bond Loki shared with Frigga. Ella was in her arms, cooing away softly, still on the verge of entering the world of dreams. After Frigga had greeted Loki, she moved past him towards her daughter-in-law and granddaughter. "Y/N, my dear." The two women hugged each other carefully, not to hurt Ella. "Hey, Frigga." "It's so great to see you again, dear. It's been a while..." That was true. Frigga had lastly seen her and Ella in the days after the birth. "That's quite right... I am sorry that we are just now come to visit." Frigga shook immediately her head. "Please don't apologise. It's alright. I understand that you wanted to wait until Ella is a bit older to travel with the Bifrost and take her with you. Thor and Jane did the same with Eisa, didn't they tell you?" "No. We talked about a lot but not about the obvious." Y/N said, giggling softly. "Thank you for understanding." "Of course!" An adorable coo from Ella, attracted immediately Frigga's attention. She looked down, smiling. "Oh, hello, my sweet little princess!" Ella looked up at her grandmother, smiling, despite the dummy in her mouth. "May I hold her?" Y/N nodded, "Of course!" and handed the baby over. "She has grown so much..." Stated the queen. "But she still looks like her father." Her gaze wandered to Loki, who held a smile on his face as well. They exchanged a look who spoke more than words could do. The proudness, love and happiness in Frigga's eyes...
"Speaking of fathers... Where is the Allfather?" The God asked. "He had been delayed beforehand and had to do something important. But he should be here soon." Loki nodded and thought for a moment. "Do you know where he is?" "In our chambers, I think." Another beat of silence passed. "Mother, may I have Ella back? I'd like to... Go to him and, uh, do this alone." He gazed at his wife. "Y/N, darling, is that alright? I-I feel like I have to do this alone." Y/N smiled and stepped closer, taking his hand in hers, giving it a squeeze. "It's okay. I know how important this is for you." She kissed him softly, before releasing his hand. "Thank you." He whispered, before taking his daughter in his arms. "Mother, I-" Frigga just nodded and gave him a reassuring smile. "I know." See, it wasn't the first time Frigga saw her granddaughter... But it was the first time Odin would meet Ella. At the time of the birth, he hadn't been in Asgard. An important negotiation had forced him to make his way to Vanaheim that week and causing him to miss Ella's birth. The queen cupped her son's cheek. "Go to him." He nodded and made his way back inside the palace.
Loki's and Odin's father-son relationship hadn't always been the best - let's put it that way. There were difficult times and quite a lot of troubles they went through. Loki's heritage for example. Or that Thor had always been preferred over him by Odin. Luckily, they overcame those obstacles - together as a family and since Loki had Y/N in his life, everything had turned to the better for him anyway. By now, Odin and Loki's bond was stable. Not as deep as Loki's and Frigga's, but it was there. Loki had stopped proving to his father that he could be as good as his older brother or better and started to just be himself. He learned to accept his Jotun form; learned that a throne wasn't the glorious purpose he was looking for. His family was - and that was one reason why it was so important for the prince to have this upcoming moment with his father alone. Loki had grown, was more a man than he ever was before. He was a husband. A father. He had found the meaning of his life, without a doubt.
"Father?" Loki said after taking a deep breath, knocking at the big, pretentious door of his parent's chambers. The door got opened by a guard. "Prince Loki." He bowed. "Is my father...? Can I...?" Loki stammered, quite a bit nervous. Why was he nervous? "I'll ask the king." With those words, the guard disappeared again. Ella seemed to feel her father's nervosity. She started to whimper, tiny feet kicking against Loki's arm. "Hey, p, don't cry. Shhh, it's okay." He started to rock her gently, peppering small kisses on her chubby cheeks. "Your daddy is just a bit nervous, 'cause you're going to meet his daddy." To hear her father's calming voice seemed to reassure Ella a bit again and she got quieter. Moments later, the guard returned. "The king would like to see you." The guard stepped aside, granting Loki access. Odin stood on the majestically balcony, looking over his kingdom. Of course, he heard his son's approaching steps. "My apologies, son. I'd have loved to join you, Y/N and my wife sooner, but there was this incident I needed to take care of and-" By now, Odin had turned around and froze immediately mid-sentence, when he saw Loki standing only a few steps behind him, with a soft smile on his face - and his granddaughter in his arms. A shaking breath left the older man's lips. "Son, is that...?" Loki nodded quickly, "Father... Meet Ella - your granddaughter." and stepped closer, so that Odin was able to see her properly. Big blue eyes, meeting his eye. The tiny girl looked up at the other man in awe. It was a face she had never seen before. So, they just stared at each other. Was the Allfather... speechless? "Would you... Would you like to hold her?" Loki asked, quite a bit clumsily. Odin just nodded without saying a word. A few seconds later was Ella in his arms, eyes still locked on the older man she didn't know. It took her a few moments to feel comfortable, knowing that she was safe and that nothing was happening to her. Maybe she sensed that Odin was her grandfather? The familiarity? Ella started to smile and coo softly, reaching up her tiny hand to touch the Allfather's cheek and beard. It was a heart-warming moment. Loki felt it, saw the adoration in his father's eye - and was that a tear, rolling down the old man's face? The young God's heart threatened to break through his ribcage, it was beating that fast. Once Odin was able to tear his eye away from the small baby girl, he immediately looked at his son. "She is absolutely beautiful." He said with a smile, before he reached out and placed a hand on Loki's shoulder. "I am so proud of you, my son. Now you understand the true meaning of life. Protecting and caring for this small creature in my arms. Look, how far you've come. You're not the man you've been all those years ago. You found love, have a wonderful woman by your side and now you're a father. You are wiser, stronger and much more mature. Better... You are happier. I couldn't be prouder as I am now, in this moment." Odin smiled - genuinely, proudly and patted his son's shoulder. Loki couldn't believe his ears, had to suppress the upcoming tears. His father never said something like this before - and it made the young God incredibly happy. It meant a lot to him. "Thank you, father." The Allfather nodded and patted Loki's shoulder again. "Now let's join our women. I'm sure they are awaiting us already. It's tea-time after all." He watched his father turn around and leave, Ella still happily gurgling in his arms. Loki smiled. What more could he want for his life?
#loki laufeyson x female reader#loki x reader#loki laufeyson x reader#loki x female reader#loki x y/n#loki x pregnant reader#loki x you#tom hiddleston x reader#tom hiddleston characters#the baby fever au
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busy streets and busy lives • ralph penbury x reader
A strange day at work gets even stranger when you meet a man who claims he's from 1926. With no certainty as to when he can get back, you decide to take him in until that time arrives.
masterlist | prev. | next
Tags: Timewasters (series), modern!au, slow burn, mutual pining, idiots in love™, fluff, some angst, swearing and mentions of adult themes throughout, eventual adult content, alcohol content, drug content, penbury is a fanon surname
Word count: 14.2k
A/N: Jesus. H. Christ. Thank you for your patience. This chapter broke me. Goodnight.
(Also please note there is a new content warning in the tags! There is slight drug use in this chapter.)
PS i know, it's a lot of angst, and you guys are here for the cute fluffy timey-wimey boy. i promise next chapter is far nicer, i just didn't want it to get boring, is all. <3
It had been so long. He’d been doing so well. You thought you could just happily leave Ralph at home and he could stay out of trouble. But several missed calls from your friends alerts you to the incident that the group chat were talking about:
With a heavy sigh, you text your co-manager, asking them to cover for you so you could leave for what you call a “family emergency”. Thankfully, you’ve had to do it often enough in the past that they just assume you’ve got a really chaotic younger sibling or something, but it still gets a little frustrating that it’s his third month of living with you and you’re still having to be on call 24/7 for him. Surely by now, he could have googled whether it was safe to microwave a whole egg. And how on earth do you accidentally go live?! There are steps to it, it’s not as though it’s a button he can accidentally press. Only Ralph, honestly.
Still, you can’t stay mad at him. Not when he’s sat on the kitchen floor, muttering to himself in exponential anguish as he reads every cleaning product label to try and determine which one is best for the task at hand.
You spot his phone still resting on the counter and look at the screen in confusion. “How are there still three and a half thousand of you watching my wall?!” You ask into the camera.
Ralph sits up on his knees to look at his phone, too, and you hold back laughter at the camera’s shot of just his hair and eyes above your kitchen counter. “What do you mean, watching?”
“You’ve been broadcasting for hours, mate. Say goodbye to your followers!” You chirp as you hover over the button to end the feed.
Ralph sinks back to the floor with a defeated, “Oh, fiddlesticks,” and you stop the livestream.
You look at the bottles he has surrounding him and hold your hand out, “Here, gimme the green one.”
He hands it over to you, and gets up quickly, moving over to sit on the sofa in silence. You sigh in resignation, looking over at him as he hugs a cushion to his chest. Quickly wiping down the inside of your microwave, you tidy up the rest of the kitchen after him and sit on the other end of the couch, cross-legged. “Hey.” You crane your neck to try and catch his gaze, but he refuses to. “Hey. You know I’m not mad at you, right? It’s just all the stuff I’ve had going on today all balled up into one big outburst. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”
“I suppose you shall be on your way back to work now,” he mutters into the cushion.
You shake your head, “Nah, already forfeited the rest of the day as unpaid because the other manager’s covering. Usually I’d swap it for another shift, but we’re going away next week, so…” You shrug. “No chance there.”
Ralph looks up, the pillow obscuring everything but his sad puppy-dog eyes. “G-going away? Wher- who wi- how lo-”
“Where, Brighton,” you tap one finger. “Ever been?” He shakes his head. “Ah, you’ll love it.” You tap another finger, “Who with, please, like I have any other friends,” you scoff, “so don’t worry, you won’t be meeting anybody new -”
Ralph’s eyes widen in a double take. “Wh- I’m going, too?”
“Well, I clearly can’t leave you here with me, can I?” You ask pointedly, jerking your head behind you towards the now clean microwave. “At least the sofa in the Brighton house pulls out into a proper bed size. How long,” you tap a third finger, “we leave here tomorrow afternoon, leave Brighton next Saturday morning.”
Ralph suddenly finds all his energy, “And just when were you planning on letting me know to start packing?!”
“Well, tomorrow morning, I thought, it’s just a case of shoving some clothes in a bag for a week. It’s not like we’re going to the Ritz or anything,” you shrug. “But we’ve got time to get a head start now if you really need it.”
“If I need -” Ralph scoffs at you as he leaps off the sofa and into the bedroom. All you can do is sigh as you watch him sprint across the room.
~~~
You probably should have figured out, with six of you taking three cars, that it wasn’t going to just be six of you. Grace’s new boyfriend - who you barely recognise yourself until Ralph, of all people, informs you that they’d met on his first night out with you all - and Scott’s partner, who Ralph is thrilled to be reunited with.
It does raise some questions to you about everyone’s sleeping arrangements, since usually Grace and Anna share the biggest room, leaving the three other bedrooms in the house for the rest of you. You’re about to suggest that you sleep on the sofa here, too, to give Ralph the bedroom, when instead you watch Connor throw his bag down on it.
You frown, “Oh, I was gonna stay down here to give Ralph a-”
“No, no, absolutely not,” Anna interjects, shaking her head. “I already worked out, it’s better if you two take the biggest bedroom, the two couples share a bedroom each, and then I tried to fight my case for the sofa, but Connor insisted on it.”
“What a gent,” you comment jokingly. You wonder if Ralph saw it that way, but daren’t look in his direction, in case he takes that the wrong way and assumes you want him to react.
“So - so this bedroom that we’re staying in, is - is there -?” Ralph stammers, his eyes squeezing shut and opening at a rapid pace. You’ve been able to recognise that as a nervous reaction of his.
“Pretty sure there’s one bed, yeah. But if that’s too scandalous for you, I’m sure I can get a fold-out or something,” you explain, but Ralph’s eyes quickly look around the room before he shakes his head. He can’t quite make eye contact with you.
“No, no, it’s quite… Nothing wrong with being bedfellows, right?”
You shake your head, “Sure, whatever you say. Let me take our bags up - Connor, since yours are there, why don’t you show the newbies around the house and the rest of us can get our rooms set up?”
Connor agrees and you sling the strap of your duffel bag over your shoulder and pick up the suitcase Ralph’s using to take them both up the two flights of stairs to the biggest bedroom in the house.
You really should make work on unpacking yours and Ralph’s clothes for the week, or at least getting your toiletries out, but the bed calls to you like a siren from the deep seas. Throwing the bags on the floor, you launch yourself onto the bed. Oh, sweet spongy mattress! An actual duvet that covers all of you and then some! Pillows without an armrest digging into the back of your head!
The drive down was tiring enough that you can feel your eyes getting heavy. You try to get up again, to fight the urge to sleep too early and miss out on your first night traditions.
You’re awoken by a gentle pressure shoving your wrist down into the bed. And then your elbow. And then your shoulder. You eventually figure out that the sound that accompanies it is Ralph calling your name. “Ah, you’ve awoken! Welcome back.”
You sit up suddenly, “Oh Christ, I’m so sorry! I didn’t want to do that, oh god, what time is it?!”
“Not to worry! Everybody is waiting to go to dinner, they said this is the time you all go anyway,” Ralph assures you. You notice that he’s stood bolt upright, but with his head turned almost upside down to look at you. You let out a sleepy chuckle as you start moving out of the bed, and Ralph quickly darts out of the room. You try not to read into that too much.
You’re greeted with a chorus of, “Alright, sleepyhead?” “It lives!” “What time d’you call this?!” You flip your friends off and fake going back up the stairs before running ahead to the front door.
Once you’ve all got your food, you sit where you always do - a bench that overlooks the pier, all its illuminations making it obvious against the dark sea beneath it. Knowing you’re finally on holiday, surrounded by the people you love most in the world, in your most favourite place, enjoying one of your favourite traditions as your lap cradles the bundle of warmth that is your portion of fish and chips as you hear the gentle crashing of waves. Knowing that all your troubles are currently almost a hundred miles away. You feel a sense of contentment, a rare zen moment. You can’t remember the last time you felt this calm.
And then, ironically, a voice laced with disgruntlement interrupts your train of thought. “Is this really any way to spend a night? You can barely see anything, this is by far the least dignified way to eat, and I fear I may come down with pneumonia before the night is through,” Ralph complains.
“Eat quicker, you’ll warm up quicker,” you prompt him. “This is why I wanted to get you a hat, but you didn’t ‘trust me’,” you mock with a smirk.
“That’s ���cause I’m your favourite to shop with, innit, Ralphie?” Connor calls from further down the bench.
“The guy who bought him clothes that feature an Angry Birds and Star Wars crossover does not deserve bragging rights,” you scoff, to laughter from most of the others.
“Ignore that lot, mate, here, have mine for now!” Connor takes his hat off and puts it on Ralph’s head. There’s something rather endearing about Ralph wearing a hat with ear flaps, but even more so when they’ve folded back on each other enough that they stick out to the sides.
“Are you quite sure?” Ralph asks, eyes wide and pleading.
“Yeah, shoved my hand in my pocket earlier and realised I had a beanie in here, too,” Connor grins as he puts another hat on his head.
“You’re such a twat,” Grace laughs, and Connor acts offended.
“Excuse you! I was merely looking out for my best mate here!” Ralph’s face lights up at those words.
Trying not to focus on how cute that is, you grin, “Did you wanna share the bed with Ralph, then?”
Connor’s mood shifts at that. He suddenly shakes his head and goes quiet as the others hurriedly change the subject. They tell Ralph about how you’ve all hired out the same house from Airbnb for years now, how the tradition of visiting every year came to be, asking Ralph if he’d ever been to a beach before. He vaguely recalls going to “a sandy beach” when he and his sister were very young, for a few years. You’ve had a few heart-to-hearts with Ralph about his father’s death and his mother’s admission to rehabilitation, but he doesn’t bring it up to the group. You still give his hand a gentle squeeze, to let him know that you understand if he’s getting upset. He wriggles his hand against yours until your fingers interlock, and he squeezes back, using his free hand to pull the ear flaps of his new hat down to cover his.
You keep hold of Ralph’s hand as you walk back to the house, just to let him know that you’re still there for him - though you’d be lying if you weren’t also letting yourself indulge in the idea of you both taking a romantic late-evening stroll along the beachfront, just a little. Of course, usually when you allow yourself these small delusions, it ends up warping the little grievances the two of you have into something far more infuriating than they probably actually are - something’s got to bring you back to reality, after all. But you can’t see any reason why you’d possibly get far enough to snap while you’re on holiday.
Once you’re back to the house, and you and Ralph are making your way upstairs, you tell him to get himself changed in the bedroom while you do so in the bathroom. You grab some pyjamas from your bag, as well as your washbag, and head in to get yourself ready for the night. A quick silent pep talk with your own reflection to remind yourself that your walk back with Ralph was strictly platonic, and you’re ready to go back out to the living room for some games with your friends before bed.
As you step out of the bathroom, you hear a short, shrill shriek. Your eyes dart immediately to Ralph sat on the side of the bed who, despite the fact that he is wearing an undershirt, still censors his chest from view with his pyjama shirt, staring at you with wide eyes.The shade of his ears is unusually deep compared to when he’s usually surprised. Assuming you’re paying far too close attention to such a minor detail for no reason, you snort out a laugh, tell him to meet you downstairs and go to meet the others.
Though Ralph doesn’t understand a lot of the games you all play that rely heavily on pop culture knowledge, he’s a big fan of those that rely on skill and/or general hilarity, since his cluelessness usually helps him there. You advise that he take a backseat upon the suggestion of Jackbox, much to the others’ chagrin - you just feel as though he isn’t quite ready for that, yet. You’re proven right when he constantly asks you for clarification on just what makes a particular answer funny, or when his ears burn up at a particularly racy answer. Connor had expressed interest in showing Ralph the ropes when it came to some games, and you tried to encourage him to go over there, but Ralph insisted on you being his teacher. You assume it’s because you know better than anyone how to explain things to him, but internally your imagination is playing a very dangerous game.
When you awaken in the bed the next morning, Ralph is still sleeping soundly next to you. He’s almost at the edge of his side of the bed, back turned to you. You slowly make your way out of your side and sneak past him, out of the room and down to the kitchen.
“No Ralph?” Scott asks as you walk in.
“Hello to you, too,” you jokingly flip your friend off and he smiles sweetly in return. “Nah, he’s still sparko. Dunno why.”
“Didn’t he sleep well?” Anna frowns.
You shrug. “Couldn’t tell you, I slept like a log!”
Ralph stirs from all the way upstairs, assuming from the open door that you’d already left the room but still staying still just in case. He slowly starts to roll around to look, allowing himself a sigh of relief as he sprawls out on the bed. He’d only slept once he’d finally exhausted himself from trying to stay as deliberately far away from you as possible.
His mind would wander, of course. How peaceful you must look when you sleep. How wonderful it would be to awaken with his face a mere touching distance from yours. On occasion, he’d hear you take an extra deep breath and he’d get giddy at the realisation that he was breathing the same air as you!
That’s when he’d rein it in. Stupid Ralph. That’s exactly what scared Lauren off. It’s been months since that week, and still he hasn’t learned. In the present moment, Ralph pushes the heels of his hands into his eyes and bares his teeth in frustration at himself. Desperate to think of anything other than the thought of waking up next to you just as the sun shone against you in the most perfect of ways, making you appear even more radiant than usual. Of your eyes slowly opening as you wake. Ralph finally gives into temptation and indulges himself in the idea of your sleepy smile, in this dream universe where you’d be happy to wake up to see him. And what a perfect sight that would be.
He takes himself to the bathroom, picking up his razor and twirling the handle around between his fingers and thumb, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. He’s already shaved his facial hair clean off on several occasions. It keeps him remembering who the real Ralph Penbury is. You and your friends always complain when he does it, though. They tell him that he’s not Our Ralph when he looks like that. He’d love nothing more than to be Their Ralph. Especially to you. What was the point of being the other Ralph? Going back to a penniless, friendless, loveless, overall fruitless life?
But you’re always reminding him, this isn’t his era. This isn’t permanent. You’re always preparing him to go back to his own time at any point. A part of Ralph - the stupidly optimistic, nay, deluded part - hopes that it’s simply a fear of the unknown, that messing with time in such a way could cause devastating effect. Though what a stupid thing to think, in what universe would Ralph have such a massive impact?!
With a heaving sigh, he tidies his facial hair up to a minimum while keeping it intact. A part of him still hesitates, still debates going further. It's what you'd want. Except also it isn't, because you always tell him he looks better with it. Ye gods, you're a confusing one.
Ralph gets himself dressed and makes it downstairs in just enough time to catch breakfast being dished up. You whisper something to Scott as soon as Ralph approaches, and Scott hands him a plate with a warm smile alongside everyone else eating, before setting everything up to make another portion for you. Ralph wants to frown, but he doesn't want to draw attention to himself, either. Why would you immediately sacrifice your breakfast for him, when he's the one who came downstairs later? Why would you see him being fed first as more important? Why not let him make that decision? He would have been happy to wait.
You feel Ralph's eyes boring into you as he scarfs his eggs down, but the one time you try and look back at him he acts as though he's trying not to get caught. You wonder what he could possibly be thinking, until Anna starts talking about the day's itinerary. This is good, this is distracting from the awkwardness, this is what the holiday is all about.
All wrapped up for a brisk November morning, you all head out to the pier, as per tradition. As Ralph gets face to face with the rides, he looks up at them, horrified, and you frown. "Are you scared of rides, or something?" He looks back down at the pier floor, watching the waves crash beneath a gap in the planks, with more fear in his eyes. "Hey, hey," you soothe, "eyes up." Ralph eventually tears his gaze away to look at you. "I promise it's all safe. It's not like those travelling funfairs where everything gets wheeled in and out, everything's built to stay here. Alright?" He still seems distracted, and before you can stop yourself, you blurt out, "Wanna hold my hand again?"
Stupid. What happened to not feeding the delusion? What happened to distancing yourself? What happened to being realistic? You know exactly what happened. Those damn baby-cow eyes. Hopefully Ralph'll say no. It'll be too scandalous for him to hold hands in public with people all around, surely.
But no. His fingers very carefully slide between yours yet again as he squeezes your hand gratefully. You keep both of your hands relatively tucked away from the others' view - they've already got you two sharing a bed, the last thing you need is having to constantly try to convince them all that you and Ralph aren't an item. Despite the fact that it would certainly be a good thing for you, a constant reminder to you that it can never happen, you know your friends well enough by now to know that they’d only take it as denial. That they’d keep pressing to ‘uncover’ whatever they believe you’re hiding. And you’ve gone this long keeping your one big secret from them, what if they keep digging until they find that out?!
Your train of thought is interrupted by a loud giggle from Ralph. He sees the photo op cutout of a cop and robber chase scene and he’s delighted by it. “Wanna pose?” You let go of Ralph’s hand to take your phone out and hand it to one of your friends as you both run behind the photo stand. Ralph finds the resulting picture absolutely hilarious.
“I always wanted to do one of those,” he muses as the pair of you hang back for him to once again hold your hand, to your own chagrin. Why couldn’t you have offered to link arms? That’s friendly enough. Can’t really be misconstrued. His smile, small but contented, melts your frustrations away, if only to add to them later on as you’re walking with him.
“Did they not have people taking your photo for you, even, in those days, then?” you ask quietly, so as not to be overheard.
Ralph half-shrugs, “There were cameras, you know. Far bigger than those little pocket ones everyone has now!”
“Yeah, I think I know of them. Big box things, someone would have to stand under a curtain and hold out a thing to press to take it, right?” you ask.
Ralph holds back his laughter as he replies with amusement, “By a thing to press, do you mean a button, by any chance?”
You pull a sarcastic face at him. “I’m leaving you stranded here,” you joke, tugging him in a particular direction to show him you’re not serious. “You’re spending too much time around me, I think. Starting to sound like me and everything,” you shake your head.
“Is that such a bad thing?” Ralph asks in a small voice.
Trying not to overthink what else that could mean, you shrug, “Well, I s’pose if I’ve a part to play in you being able to tell your sister to shove it, then not really. But using my own brand of sarcasm against me?” You tut, again shaking your head. “I’ve created a monster.” Ralph laughs gently at you as everyone stops at their first ride: the Turbo roller coaster.
Everyone laughs at the shade of green Ralph turns. “I promise you, mate, it’s far scarier down here than it is up there,” Connor tries to reassure him, but Ralph is fixated on the loop in the track.
“Honestly, Ralphie babe, that is the tiniest loop you’ll ever go on. It’ll be over before you even know it, and by the time it is over, you’ll love it, promise!” Grace holds her little finger out to Ralph, who stares at it with fearful eyes for a few beats before linking his own, to everyone’s cheers.
You allow your hands to be a little less obscured, under the guise that Ralph is only scared of the ride and so you are providing a temporary comfort. Anna also rests her head against Ralph’s arm, and Scott places a comforting hand on his shoulder, at your invitation. “The more of us that comfort him, the better, right?” you explain. “Plus, if there’s any… Prying eyes…” You look around anxiously. “At least they can’t assume that Ralph and I are dating just ’cause we’re stood together,” you roll your eyes exaggeratedly. “I don’t need that sort of attention, it’s bad enough on socials.”
You don’t see Ralph’s change in demeanour. What was a quiet excitement mellowed amongst the fear of the ride, turns to full-blown dejection. Of course you’d be embarrassed to be associated with him. Who wouldn’t be? No matter what era he’s in, he’s still Ralph.
Anna interrupts his train of thought by rubbing his arm, “You alright, Ralph?” He nods, pushing a smile up his cheeks. “Nervous?” She asks, and he nods silently. She hugs his arm tight. “Honestly, there’s nothing to it.”
“Yeah, you’ll be a thrill-seeker like the rest of us in no time!” Scott grins before nudging you and Ralph each. “You two should get a photo on the Crazy Mouse for the flat!”
You shake your head, “Come off it, like either of us would want a photo of us being flung around like that! Right, Ralph?” Again, he nods without saying a word. Your brow furrows, “Are you okay? Did you want to sit this one out?” He shakes his head. “Sure? We can just go get food if you would rather watch this lot go round first and then we can go later,” you offer, but he shakes his head again.
“Besides, it’s not like it’d be the worst photo of him out there,” a completely strange voice from the other side of the queue barrier makes you jump.
“Excuse me?!” Scott exclaims.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you all! We just saw Ralph, and then you, and really wanted to get a photo, if that’s okay?” They ask you. They seem innocent enough, just asking for a picture, but you still can’t help but stand there awkwardly.
“Oh, I’m not really into that side of things, I only got my socials to make sure people are being normal about him,” you shrug them off before adding, “and to reward you all with some extra content if you’re all behaving!” They laugh, and you turn to Ralph. “What do you say, do you wanna take a photo with some of your fans?”
Ralph approaches the barrier and leans over it to pose for the photo, pressing his lips together into a smile as he holds an arm around his first in-person fan. “My friends and I just think you’re absolutely hilarious!” They smile up at him.
“Oh, please,” he laughs, flustered. Though he has his new hat on, you can guess what’s happening beneath it. “My lack of knowledge of technology doesn’t necessarily make me hilarious, anyone could do that.”
“Nah, there’s a sort of… Natural charm about you. Plus, I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you this, but you’re really cute. Even in that photo that’s going around.”
Ralph sputters nervously as the rest of you exchange glances. You manage to hide your seething rage from your friends, though you feel it boring through your eyes as they fixate on this person. “Ah, don’t be so silly! You’re far too kind. Um, is that your friend over there waving you away?” He asks as someone approaches, thankfully dragging their friend away while talking about spotting a Twitch streamer as they head in the direction of some poor sod wearing a black and white face covering. You wonder whether that’s their ‘thing’ or if they’re doing it to avoid detection. You wonder if you’ll have to do that with Ralph at some point. His internet fame is becoming less and less of the laugh it first seemed to be with every day.
“You alright?” Anna again checks in with Ralph, who looks slightly bewildered still.
“Should I have responded differently there?” He asks.
You’re quick to answer, “No! No, I think you did the right thing, there.” You then hurriedly follow it up with a, “I mean, dating fans is never a good idea, right?”
“Yeah, not gonna lie, that made me uncomfortable,” Connor cringes. “You handled it way better than me, mate.” Ralph feels a sense of pride at his words. The line starts to move and soon enough, you’re all getting into carriages yourself.
You make sure you and Ralph are in one near the middle, so he feels safer. Once you’re all strapped in, and the attendant is sure Ralph is, too, you see him already squeezing his eyes half-shut in anticipation. You poke him gently and hold your hand out again. “It’ll be here if you need it, okay?”
“Oh, it’s quite alright, I wouldn’t want to be a -” Ralph starts, but as the coaster jolts into motion he quickly grasps your hand tightly.
Ralph’s half-laugh/half-scream serenades you throughout the whole ride, especially at the loop. Once the ride brings you back upright again, you look over at him. “Was that so bad?”
“Boy, that was exhilarating, wasn’t it?!” He beams, and everyone else cheers for him from their own seats.
“You did it, Ralphie!” “We’re so proud of you, babe!” “Reckon we’ve awoken the thrillseeker in you?” Ralph’s too giddy to answer any of those.
You can barely get him to stand upright without his legs turning to jelly, unless you get him to hold your arms while you hold his. He falls into your arms with a giddy laugh, and you gently shove him onto his own gait. “Easy, tiger!” You giggle. “God knows what you’re gonna be like on the other rides.”
Once he sees the Crazy Mouse coaster in action, that green hue in his skin returns, so you decide to build his courage up a little more. His face simply turns white when he sees the ghost train. Scott notices and rolls his eyes, “Oh my god, Ralph, don’t even worry about it, this is literally the least scary ride on here.”
His partner pipes up, “Yeah, there’s scarier creatures on the merry-go-round than there are in there!”
“I wonder if they’ve put the face back on that animatronic from last year or not?” You ask, before looking over to Ralph, who looks horrified. “It’s unintentionally the scariest thing there, and it’s not even that bad. Trust me. Remember?” You hold your hand out, wiggling your fingers. “If you need it.”
“What if… People assume?” Ralph asks, trying not to spit the word out with the venom that wants to follow it.
You shrug, “I think your face justifies your need to have someone hold your hand. If you’d rather, you can sit with Connor or Anna, I was just suggesting -” He takes your hand again in silence, and you walk him over to queue up at the ghost train.
The moment the ride takes you into a dark hallway, Ralph buries his face in your shoulder, and you pat his cheek comfortingly. However, as he starts to see the quality of the animatronics (“Was that one being held up by -” “Duct tape, yes.”) and experience how poorly timed the “jump scares” are, he relaxes far more.
You take him on the twister next, which only ends up throwing your body into his at every convenience, a consequence you’d forgotten in the year since you’d last been on it. Still, he seemed too invested in the adrenaline rush that came with being thrown around in circles to notice your proximity.
After a quick pit stop to eat, and reassurance to Ralph that you weren’t going straight back onto any rides, you go into the arcade. Ralph’s face lights up along with all the games as you explain what ones are. He excitedly tells you that he recognised the fortune teller machine and a strength tester game from his own youth.
You let the others go on ahead as you and Ralph pay for a go on the fortune teller. It tells you, “A smile is worth a hundred frowns in any market!” You look at Ralph with the biggest smile you can muster, and he returns with one of your favourite expressions of his, the big fake animatronic-style smile that could rival the fortune teller. “And lucky for you, the great Zoltar sees much happiness ahead for you!” You bite your lip at the irony. Does that mean Ralph's happiness, that he’ll be returning home soon? Your happiness, that he’ll be staying? Or is it just a randomly generating machine?
It prints off a fortune and you read it together: You may be riding the winds of change. Things may at times seem to be out of touch. Soon they will come to a better order. As the blessings of health and fortune have a beginning, so they must also find an end. Everything rises but to fall. To make sense of all this, you will find the answer is to be found in how well you relate to people. Looking at the big picture will help shape your long range plans. If things are not always smooth remember that he who could foresee affairs but three days in advance would be rich for thousands of years.
You blow out a long breath of disbelief at how weirdly on the nose that seems to be for you both and quickly pocket it to find the others. Grace is trying to get her new boyfriend to win her a stuffed toy on the cranes. Scott is trying to finesse a coin-pusher game while his partner and Connor play a dance mat game behind him, and Ralph leaves you to watch in awe as Anna plays a pinball machine. She tries to explain the mechanics of it all to him, but it seems to be going entirely over his head.
You play your favourite game for a while, trying to win as many tickets as possible, when Ralph soon joins you as well. “Any luck with pinball?” You ask, and Ralph shakes his head.
“I wasn’t sure how to play it, I didn’t really seem to be doing anything, rather just pushing an awful lot of buttons for the sake of it,” he answers.
“Sounds like you were playing it right to me!” You laugh. “What do you wanna do now?”
“Well,” he says, excitement obvious in his voice. “I saw one of those photo booths around there…”
You gasp, “Yes! Let’s do it!” before looking around with disappointment. “Ugh, how are we gonna fit everyone in, though?”
“Perhaps we can get individual ones with people across the week?” Ralph suggests.
“Alright,” you nod. “Wanna get some practice in, just us?” Ralph nods back at you, and you both head into the booth.
Once you’ve paid for it, Ralph asks, “Now how does it all work, again?”
“Right, it’ll tell you when - oh, for fuck’s sake,” you groan as it takes a photo of you mid-sentence, and Ralph stifles a laugh. “Okay, quick, when’s it taking anoth- ahh!” Another snap takes you by surprise, and Ralph doesn’t attempt to hide his amusement this time. You throw your hands up in disbelief, “Well, this is a waste now, isn’t it,” before collapsing into laughter yourself.
“I am sorry,” Ralph frowns at you once all four are taken, and you wave him off.
“Don’t be! I should have set us a game plan from the beginning.” You decide on your poses: a normal, smiley one; a goofy-grinning one; one with both your tongues sticking out; and one where you kiss his cheek. You promise him that it’s not at all scandalous to pose in this way, and that between Grace and Scott, at least one of them would want a photo with him like it anyway so you’re simply getting him geared up for that. You’re promising yourself that more than him, if you’re being honest with yourself.
You end up posing for the first one with your heads touching as you smile gently into the camera. He’s not giving his usual uncomfortable smile, or his disappearing-lip act. It’s just a nice, natural smile. Which is immediately replaced with a fake smile so big, he has to hold himself up on the bench with both of his hands to hold himself at an angle worthy of the grin on his face, which you mirror. When you tell him, “Tongues out!” yours pokes straight out towards the camera, but he lets his loll out to show off the flat of his tongue to the camera instead. You remind him to look ahead for the last one by pointing at the screen, and then holding the cheek furthest from you to push it closer to you, feeling his freshly trimmed down stubble scratch at your lips as you feel them press against the warm flesh of his cheek beneath.
Once all four are done, you quickly get out to make sure both strips are still there to collect. Thankfully, nobody else has seen them, and you pick them both up to study them. You try not to focus on the bottom photo of the second strip, instead looking at the total disaster that is the first strip. Most of them are blurry and far from flattering, but the final one. What is it with the last photo with you two?! You’re laughing, as is Ralph, but the way Ralph is angled, you could just as easily fool yourself into believing that he’s looking at you as though he’s madly in love with you.
As he emerges, he asks, “So, were those first ones completely unusable?”
Quickly tearing off the bottom photo to pocket it, you crumpled up the remaining three and throw them in the bin. “Yeah, pretty much! Here, hold onto these ones, though, and we can put them on the fridge when we get back home.”
Home. Do you mean that to mean your home is Ralph’s, too, or are you speaking on your own terms? Neither of you know, to be honest.
Your friends reconvene around you, and you tell them of yours and Ralph’s plan for each of them to get a mini photoshoot with him, what with it being his first time on this holiday with you all. Everyone happily accepts getting their own photo ops in with Ralph, and you love watching how everyone poses with him. Your personal favourites are Anna teaching him how to throw up deuces as they pull funny faces, Connor teaching him how to make hand horns as they stick their tongues out, Scott and his partner both kissing each of Ralph’s cheeks, and Ralph’s feigned disgust as Grace drapes herself over her boyfriend.
After all that excitement, you decide you’ll return to the rides another day. Instead, you find a nice little Italian place to eat that’s taken over an old cafe you had used to love coming to, but this new restaurant has an even better vibe than its predecessor. That, and Ralph learning how to eat spaghetti through trial and error is hilarious, especially when he decides that the best way is to simply find the ends of as many strands as possible and slurp them all up. The rest of you make a game of picking a strand each and seeing which one lasts the longest.
On the way back, Ralph gets recognised again. Thankfully, this person knows better than to flirt with a total stranger, though Ralph still seems astounded at the whole experience. This fan says something about being able to replace their icon from “the explosion photo”, and so, remembering the one from earlier mentioning an unflattering picture, once you’re all back at the house you look through Ralph’s follower list and burst into laughter.
It seems as though his fans have taken a screenshot of his disdain after microwaving the egg and made it their profile pictures. Some have left it as is, with your kitchen in the background. Some have added further explosions and other phenomena in the background. Ralph is the only one who doesn’t see the funny side, the disappointment returning to his expression.
With a sigh, you promise him, yet again, that there is no need to be upset. You’re not upset with him, the flat was easily cleaned, the microwave remains functional. You understand that this comes from years of being raised poorly, but having to constantly remind Ralph that you aren’t mad at him, is ironically the thing that frustrates you the most about him.
The next day, after again waking up to Ralph practically on the edge of his side of the bed, you decide to go to the Lanes to explore some of the vintage shops. Mostly, for your own amusement, you want to watch Ralph react to what is considered “vintage”, but you know you’re going to have to rein it in around everyone else. The day flies by in a montage of trying on ridiculously old clothes, ones that even Ralph turns his nose up at, trying to find the most cursed old toys in every shop, and Ralph trying desperately to stifle his excitement every time he recognises something from his own time period. Ralph gets recognised again by a young, tall blonde boy and his shorter brunette friend, though those two soon get accosted themselves, which allows you to get Ralph away to the safety of a quieter shop.
After your shopping excursion, you return to the pier to play some more games, this time from the attractions around the pier. Thankfully, Ralph seems far more confident walking on it, so there’s no need for you to offer any hand-holding services - although it does already feel strange walking around with both hands empty. You manage to win a stuffed animal on a throwing game, and Ralph decides his skill set is best utilised playing hook-a-duck - though he throws the person running the game off of their rhythm when the prize he asks for is to keep the duck itself, as Ralph personally has no use for stuffed animals. The person running the game, totally baffled, ends up letting Ralph keep the rubber duck, which he seems thrilled about, placing the hook over his finger and letting the duck swing from it with great delight.
“I think I get why cats like him so much,” Connor comments from where he’s stood just behind you as you watch Ralph. “You know how you can buy them all the expensive toys they want but they just wanna play in the box?” You snort with laughter in agreement. “He’s just one of them.”
While Ralph insists on everyone referring to the duck by its name, Clarence, he apparently draws the line at your joke of offering to pay for him to shoot a photo booth reel with his new friend. He looks at you with disapproval at that one.
You still utilise Clarence in his own way, though. Everywhere you go from that point onwards, you take a photo of the duck in that area, and then post it to Ralph’s Instagram story for him, though you only do so once you’re no longer in that place, for obvious reasons.
That evening, at the house, Connor tells Ralph he’s got a surprise for him, and to close his eyes and hold his hands out. Your heart swells when you see that Connor, who had excitedly spent the best portion of an hour in a music shop, has bought Ralph his own ukulele. Ralph looks close to tears at the gift. “Oh, Connor, I couldn’t possibly -”
“None of that, you can and you will,” Connor states simply while pointing at him, and Ralph shrinks down in defeat, opting instead to look at the ukulele with marvel. You all spend the night listening to Ralph play his chords, everyone occasionally offering lyrics to the tunes he was playing. God, he fits in so well with you all. It’s going to be so heartbreaking to tell them all when it’s his time to leave.
You wonder if the window of opportunity will only be open while you’re away. It’s a risk you’ve had to take to make sure he stays safe, since he literally only proved days ago that he still can’t be trusted unsupervised. What if you miss it? Would he resent you? Would it cause some insane rip in the time-space continuum? There’s really not a lot of solid research into this whole time travel business.
The next morning, you’re shocked to awaken to Ralph’s face dangerously close to yours as it rests on the inner half of his pillow. You could count his eyelashes, they were that close. You could connect his freckles, they were that close. His lips twitch ever so slightly in his sleep as you’re studying his face. His face that’s so close to yours. His lips that are -
You quickly take yourself out of that trance and practically throw yourself down the stairs, you’re that quick to leave the room, and those thoughts.
Ralph awakens, sadly, from a dream where you’re happy to have him in your arms to find himself near enough in the middle of the bed. He wonders exactly how he got there. You’re already awake, because of course, you always are. You don’t lie awake for almost an hour every night trying desperately to stay as rigidly far away from the centre of the bed as possible.
When Ralph arrives for breakfast, the group have already decided that today is more of a lazy day. They’ll go out later, of course, but there’s no rush. Just a day spent at the house, playing more board games and listening to both Connor and Ralph playing the ukulele as Connor teaches him how to teach himself actual songs. You even post Ralph’s first photo dump to his Instagram account:
As fun as it is to get out and experience another city, especially getting to do so with Ralph for the first time, you make just as many memories on this rest day. Memories like Ralph not only playing Jackbox for the first time, but somehow winning several games. Memories like watching Grace and her boyfriend playing board games as if they’d been married for years, even though she wrongfully accuses you and Ralph of playing the same way.
In the last hour of sunlight, you realise something. “I haven’t found my rock for this year, yet!”
Ralph looks at you strangely. “Your what?” Before answering his own question. “Do you mean that shelf full of stones in the bedroom has a purpose?”
“Yes! Every year, I find myself a cool-looking rock to take back. It’s tradition,” you explain with a gesture. “Plus, it gets us all out of the house at least once.”
“W’re all goin’ out la’er,” Connor groans from where he lays across the sofa he’s been sleeping on, beneath a mountain of crisps he’s been making his way through.
“At least twice then, lazybones,” you comment, but almost everyone else is happy to stay home.
Everyone except Ralph, who hurriedly gets his shoes on. Of course, it’s just you and Ralph. Alone. Far away from home. Nothing could possibly go wrong, here.
Thankfully, you’re on a mission, here. You can distract yourself with the task of finding the best looking rock on the beach. It can’t just be the first cool rock you see, oh no. It has to be the best one. That’s always been your rule.
Ralph tries to help, but honestly, a puppy would be less excitable. He keeps grabbing the first rock he can, running up to you to ask, “Is this useful?” to which the answer is almost always “no”, and so he simply throws it back to the ground and looks again. There are three separate occasions where he shows you ones he’s already asked you about. But he’s having fun, and he looks adorable, and maybe tonight you’ll be able to delude yourself into a happy little dream where Ralph’d be happy to do anything for you. Though perhaps not quite anything, that sort of dream would have to be reserved for a time when you’re not sharing a bed with him.
You thump the side of your head with the heel of your hand, as though you’re trying to knock the idea out of your brain. There is absolutely no time and place for those kind of thoughts.
At one point, Ralph sees a young child throwing rocks one at a time into the sea, with great delight. Ralph also seems highly entertained by it, and when the kid looks over at him, he decides to join in by grabbing a whole handful of rocks and throwing them all into the water at once. The kid thinks this is the most hilarious thing they’ve ever seen before. Ralph seems happy enough to keep doing it until the kid’s parents take them away. You’re happy to just sit back on the ground and watch Ralph, taking photos and videos of this moment.
Ralph soon joins you where you sit, laughing breathlessly. “Oh, what a joy that was!”
“You certainly looked as though you were having a blast,” you simper. “Though if you threw away the ultimate rock amongst all of that, I may never forgive you,” you add in a sarcastic deadpan.
“I would completely understand,” Ralph nods back, unable to keep up any monotony for any amount of time before snorting with laughter. He looks out at the horizon, pointing out how the sky looks now that the sun is starting to set. “Don’t see that very often in London,” he frowns.
You shake your head, “Nah, it’s usually too cloudy. Not that different here, we’ve just caught a good moment. Looks nice, doesn’t it, all reflecting on the water and that?” You cock your head to the side and sigh happily. “Could sit here for hours watching it.”
Ralph tenses up, trying desperately not to think of how your head just rests against his arm, the weight of it still pressing down on the padded sleeve of his coat enough for him to feel it. He swallows hard, “Yes, it’s too bad that the sunset doesn’t last long at all, isn’t it?”
“You’re telling me,” you add with a soft smile before sitting up. “That’s why I wanted to try and get to the beach now, to get to see it at least once. ’m glad you came with me,” you muse before suddenly realising you’re treading into dangerous territory here. To save yourself, you quickly add, “Y’know, so that you get to see it too, while you’re still here. Since you were saying you haven’t been on a holiday like this since you were a kid. Maybe you can go on more of them once you’re back.”
“Maybe,” Ralph replies emotionlessly.
You sit in relative silence as you watch the sky together. You get a “golden hour” selfie with Ralph, mostly to teach him about it, though he says that he doesn’t see much difference between that photo and most of the others you’ve taken in the past. After realising that he’s brought it with him in his pocket, too, you spend a good few minutes laughing along with Ralph as you try to find the most photogenic angle of Clarence the duck to add to his photo collection.
Once the view stops being quite so aesthetically pleasing, you stop off at the pier again to buy some sugared doughnuts to share with Ralph as you make your way over to the pub that you plan to meet your friends at. You love this pub as another of your holiday traditions, because Wednesday nights are karaoke nights. You wonder whether Ralph’ll feel confident enough to sing along to any modern songs. The mental image of Ralph taking to the mic to sing along to Taylor Swift with his entire chest is enough to make you laugh out loud, which confuses Ralph, but you opt to not tell him, merely shaking your head and covering your mouth instead.
To your disappointment when you get there, the pub no longer does karaoke, but Wednesdays are now pub quiz nights. You still stick around for dinner, and after a couple of drinks, you end up signing up for the quiz, for a laugh. None of you expect to get very far, but Grace’s boyfriend really pulls through with sports questions, and even Ralph ends up answering the question that ultimately wins the whole quiz for you, one about a specific style of shoes that had rendered the rest of you clueless.
Everyone ends up watching your group celebrating Ralph. The leaders of the second-place team, an older blonde man and a dark-haired woman he refers to as his wife, even join in with their own congratulations.
A pair of young women offer to buy Ralph a drink, to which Connor starts encouraging Ralph to go with them. You very quickly make conversation about the rest of the week’s plans with Anna and Grace to distract yourself, but Ralph doesn’t seem interested, much to your confusion. You look around at your friends, who all seem to be exchanging their own looks to each other, but none of them seem to want to look at you. You shake your head and make your way to the bathroom, scoffing indignantly at the two men who barge past you to get to the door next to you.
After a few minutes of silent pep talk to remind yourself that you have no right to feel bad if Ralph expresses interest in someone else, Anna comes in specifically to find her. After promising her a full eight times that you’re absolutely fine, you both head back out to the group, where Scott had brought along a game from the house that you can all play together. You notice Ralph isn’t there, but you don’t bring it up. You’re not his keeper, after all.
~~~
“Ah, ladies, this is quite an honour, obviously, but I am out with friends and it would be rather impolite to just leave them!” Ralph explains hurriedly to the two women who have approached him to congratulate him on his efforts.
“I dunno, your mate there seems pretty keen for you to come over,” one smirks in Connor’s direction.
“I must insist, I could never live with myself for taking advantage of such generous women as yourselves, though I am deeply grateful that you should wish to spend your night in my company! I’m afraid I’m very much not from around here, and so I would get frightfully lost without my friends to guide me home,” Ralph blabbers, getting more and more flustered.
“Maybe you can come back to mine, then?” The other asks, looking suggestively at him as she touches his arm. It’s a gentle contact, but it electrifies Ralph at high voltage as he yelps, pulling it away.
“Truly flattered, but I am a gentleman first and foremost and so I simply must decline such an offer, and I shan’t be staying long enough to court you appropriately, but I wish you both very well in your endeavours!” Ralph practically shouts as he turns on his heel and quickly makes his way to the toilets.
Ralph walks in on quite a sight. Two men, reasonably bigger than himself, bent double over the sinks. “Pardon me,” Ralph calls out, with the intention on simply throwing some water on his face as a wake-up call of sorts, but the men jump up in surprise at the sound of his voice.
“Ain’t nothing to see here, mate, jog on,” one says, trying to square up against Ralph.
“Sorry, gents, just wanted a quick go at the sink, and then I’ll be out of your hair, I promise!” He smiles brightly, completely oblivious. He catches sight of a line of white powder along the counter and chuckles to himself as he recognises it as cocaine, thinking back to previous parties he’d held at Penbury House.
The first man growls, “Find something funny?”
“Oh, just reminiscing. It’s been a while since I’ve seen… You know,” his eyes flash over to the substance on the counter. “Just fondly remembering old times.”
“Oi, ain’t no way this toff’s a user,” the second man shakes his head.
The first one snarls with a smile, "You a copper?"
"Heavens, no!" Ralph laughs. "Not to worry, gentleman, I'm no telltale, your secret is safe with me!"
"I'm not buying it," the second one looks at Ralph with an upturned nose. "I reckon he's a snitch."
"Well, only one way to prove it, innit," the first one grins uncomfortably at Ralph as he gestures towards the counter. "Care to join us?" he asks in a voice that mocks Ralph's.
“Well, if you insist, I - straight from the counter?” Ralph asks in disgust, but the chorusing snarl answers him quite adequately. “I suppose beggars can’t be choosers!”
Just as he finishes the first line, he’s interrupted by a loud, “RALPH! Fucking hell, get your head out of there! What the fuck is wrong with you two dickheads?!” Connor grabs Ralph by the back of his jumper and throws him back. “You alright? How much have you had?”
“Oh please, it was barely even a full line, it’s nothing,” Ralph insists, to both Connor and Scott’s baffled expressions.
“We don’t have time to unpack that right now,” Connor throws Ralph in Scott’s direction at the emphasis, causing Ralph to trip over his own feet through both of the steps it takes to get there, and Scott catches him, trying to get a good look at his eyes. Connor turns to the two men. “Alright, look.”
“Don’t know that I feel up to much talking,” one snarls.
Connor pulls a sarcastic expression. “Oh yeah, beat a guy up in the same room your coke’s still out for the world to see, good one(!) Shut the fuck up, yeah? We didn’t see anything, neither did you. Just - I mean, what the fuck were you thinking, giving your shit away for free, to him?!”
The man shrugs, “Had to call his bluff, innit? Thought he was a narc.”
“Well, you thought wrong, didn’t you,” Connor sneers, remaining sarcastic as ever. “Just… Clean up and get the fuck out of here, yeah? C’mon,” he gestures for Scott and Ralph, who’s already starting to bounce on the balls of his feet, to get out.
~~~
Once you finally see all three boys re-emerge from the bathroom, as you’d asked the other two to check on Ralph, you notice something off amongst them. Ralph seems in far higher spirits than the others. You get up to meet them halfway and notice something white and powder-y on the edge of Ralph’s nostril. “The fuck is that?!” You ask incredulously.
Scott looks over and quickly pulls his shirt sleeve down to wipe at Ralph’s nose with it. “Nothing!” He lilts, though his expression as he flashes his eyes at you confirms your worst fears about it. Scott mutters, “We need to get him to a hospital.”
“No!” You and Ralph chorus loudly. You shush the man and hurriedly lie, “No, you’ve not seem him in a hospital, he’s fucking useless, faints the second he gets in, he hates it all, honestly. Give him here, just - I’ll take him back to the house, I’ll keep an eye on him.”
“I promise you all, I am fine, I’ve done far more than that in my years!” Ralph states. “Can we please just return to our night?”
“Respectfully, mate, you don’t know what this shit’s been laced with,” Connor warns. “I’m with Scott, I think hospital’s the best place.”
“And I’m telling you, it really fucking isn’t,” you hiss back at them. “He just needs to get back home so he can’t make any more bad decisions.” Ralph frowns at your words, but you ignore him.
“Alright, we’ll pack up,” Scott starts, but you stop him.
“No, no.” You sigh, “Look, it’s still your holiday, too. I’ll take him back, I’ll keep you guys updated, but you lot just enjoy the night without us, okay?”
“We really don’t mind,” Connor shakes his head, but you persist.
“Honestly. Just…Hang on a second.” You return to the table, spinning a tale of how Ralph’s got a migraine and so you’re going to take him home as you put your outdoor clothes on. Everyone still at the table calls out well-wishes for Ralph as you make your way back to him, informing the boys of what you’ve said, and you lead Ralph out of the door into the brisk evening air.
You walk in silence, not knowing what to say. You’re concerned about Ralph, obviously, but you’re also just so mad at him for doing something so stupid. Who accepts some rando’s offer of coke off a random pub sink?! What the fuck was he thinking?! And now, everyone else is enjoying their holiday while you spend it the way you spend every single day - babysitting a 25 year old man who acts without consequence because he doesn’t bear them, you do. You may as well be at home with him.
“You know,” Ralph finally breaks the silence as you walk up the street that the house is on, “I’m not a child. I knew what I was doing.”
You sigh, “Free drugs is a massive red flag, Ralph. You could have gotten into some serious shit.”
“Well clearly not if we��re just going straight back to the house,” he points out.
“Okay, Ralph, what do you want me to say when we get to the hospital? ‘Hi, I’ve got a man here who needs drugs pumped out of his system. Name? Ralph Penbury. Date of birth? February 1st 1901. Oh, what’s that? You’ve got him marked as being dead for the last 96 years? Then what’s he doing stood here?!’” Ralph goes quiet up until you get to the front door, where you press your hands into your face and groan. “Ugh, I’m sorry, Ralph. I shouldn’t have snapped like that, that wasn’t fair. I know you can’t help… That bit. But you can say no to drugs, surely?!” More silence. With a sad sigh, you unlock the door and let Ralph go ahead. “Want me to make you a cup of tea?” You ask, and he nods before running up the stairs.
You kick yourself internally for upsetting Ralph before then arguing with yourself. Why should you be apologising? You were right. It’s your holiday, too, and he should have thought more carefully. You have every right to be upset, yourself. But you’ll forgive Ralph for that, the way you always do, because you already know you’re going to lose him at some point, and that’s going to be painful enough, and if you can put it off for as long as possible, you’re going to.
He pads back into the kitchen in his pyjamas, looking at you with his big doe eyes as you hand him a hot mug full of tea. “It seems to be the ordinary stuff,” he states, “because it’s only just about affecting me. Same way it always does.”
“Did you… Do it often?” You ask slowly. “To cope with stuff?”
“Heavens, no, it’s no coping mechanism!” He shakes his head. “Cocaine’s always been a staple at Penbury socials. It’s… Acquiring and using it was always the thing people liked having me around for,” he explains quietly as he takes a big sip from his mug. “It barely affects me these days, just makes me… More likeable, I suppose.”
Of course there’s a dreadfully sad story to go along with this. Just more fuel for you to feel bad about snapping at him. You walk over to him and wrap your arms around his shoulders as he continues drinking. “You know how much we all like having you around the way you are, Ralph. I mean, we might be able to make a citizen out of you yet if we just claim you as Scott and his partner’s adopted child!” You joke, and Ralph lets out a small, breathy laugh.
“It’s… Hard to believe, still. Sometimes. Sorry,” he mutters, leaning down to rest his head against yours.
“You have to trust us, Ralphie,” you squeeze him gently, “that’s part of having friends. You like having us around, right?” He nods violently. “Right! So part of making sure we stay around is knowing we want to. If you don’t trust that people wanna be your friend, they’re gonna assume you don’t want them to be.”
“Is that what Scott and Connor will think of me, now?” he asks sadly.
“Well no, because they don’t know… That, what you’ve just told me.”
Even more quietly, he asks, “…Do you -?”
“Are you really asking me if I want you around?” You ask, raising your eyebrows at him. “Have I not done enough to prove my case there?!”
“More than,” he admits, still quiet. He takes another long sip and asks, “Does the TV here have all the films that we would have back at home?”
“Wanna watch Little Shop of Horrors while you come down?” You ask, amused, as Ralph nods in response. You let him curl up to lay his head on your lap as you both watch the film from the sofa Connor’s been sleeping on, Ralph’s foot tapping against the arm of it along with each song.
The rest of the gang return just before the movie ends, and they’re all happy to see that Ralph looks in relatively good condition. The pair of you retire to the bed soon after. Too tired to change out of your day clothes, you simply crawl into your side and sleep, forgetting to wish Ralph goodnight in your exhaustion.
You all decide that Thursday shall be another day on the pier, with Friday being a packing-up day due to the night out you have planned, so that you don’t have to worry about packing with a hangover and can head back as soon as you’re feeling well enough to on Saturday.
You start the day out in the arcade again, firstly making sure that you, Anna, Grace, Scott and Connor get your annual photos in the booth as per every year for as long as you can remember. You show Ralph and the others photos you have on your phone of reels from years past, to which they take great delight in seeing you all in younger years. “It’s nice to have friends that last,” Ralph smiles, and it makes your heart sink. Comments like that help your brain to justify keeping Ralph around regardless. He needs to be here, with his friends, with the people he loves and who love him. There’s been no major consequence so far. You start to wonder if there ever would be.
You quickly pull yourself from that train of thought, instead opting for the certainty of being out with your friends. Grace pulls Ralph towards the dance mats, itching to teach him, and you allow yourself to stand back with Grace’s boyfriend to watch them. Ralph may stomp on each arrow with such force that the ground shakes beneath you, but there’s no way you can comment on that when his face is lit up that much.
You lose track of him when Connor pulls him away to show him a shooting game, instead opting to go for one of the coin-pushers yourself. It seems as though Ralph also didn’t last long with that particular game, nor does he have the patience to wait for your tactical plays as he starts grabbing coins from your pot and placing them in the slots from behind you excitedly. You giggle uncontrollably as he keeps putting coins in and smugly adding the occasional, “See?” when a whole pile drops.
It’s only when you feel your back collide against his chest that you’re brought back to your senses, and you tug at his arm until you’re standing beside him instead, trying to keep your tone playful with an, “Alright, then, if you wanna play that way, don’t let me stop you!” as you find another game that’s easy ticket fodder.
Eventually, you tell Ralph that it’s time for him to face his ultimate fear, that you’re all going to ride the Crazy Mouse roller coaster. He nods, still agreeing to go on it with you all, though he remains quiet. Once you’re in the line for it, you try and brush your hand against his again to let him know you’re there for him, but he makes no attempt to hold it. You hope it’s because he’s getting braver, but his stoic expression doesn’t exactly give you that impression.
Since today is warmer than the others, none of you had really decided to wear hats today, which makes the state you all end up in after being spun and thrown around the roller coaster track all the more hilarious. Ralph’s curls especially are in full force, sticking up in all directions, which the fans who recognise him today point out a lot. You notice there are more today than ever before and check his name on Twitter to see your suspicions confirmed - people are starting to publicly announce sightings of Ralph in the wild, which is leading to people congregating with the sheer hopes of seeing him out in the wild. You’re not sure how many more of these appearances you can take.
You return to the hook-a-duck stall so that Ralph can proudly show off Clarence to the man running the stall. A young man with a mullet pouts about how he was told that he wasn’t “allowed” to keep a duck, even though it matched the red beanie his friend is wearing even today. The man behind the stall simply explains that Ralph was more charming, to the hat-wearer’s amusement.
You go back to playing more games until the people working the arcade inform you that it’s nearly closing time. All of you band your tickets together and divide them fairly to redeem a prize each, though Ralph insists that he doesn’t get a share. He is more than happy with Clarence alone. If only you’d known sooner that the best way to placate Ralph would be to stick a hook in a rubber duck’s head.
Connor picks a box that contains fuzzy car dice, “for a laugh”. It certainly does raise a lot of laughs when he opens the box to find that the ones he’s ended up with are pink, but he shrugs it off. Scott and his partner pick out as many Pokémon cards as their tickets will allow them to, Grace gets a toy monkey with magnets in its hands and feet while her boyfriend picks out an inflatable guitar. Despite having already won a rather large teddy at the can game the other day, you take pity on another soft toy that clearly looks like it got into a fight with the manufacturer and came out losing, opting to take it home with you. Ralph looks at it fearfully, and you shake it at him jokingly.
Friday holds the weight of being the last full day away. Everything feels as though it's happening in slow motion, that it isn't in real time. It doesn’t entirely help that the day is filled with the mundane act of packing until the real thing to look forward to later tonight, which now feels eons away.
When it finally reaches lunchtime, you talk the others into getting delivery. “Whatever happened to the ‘we should get out of the house, lazybones’ mentality, eh?” Connor teases.
“Do you feel up to being there while Ralph gets accosted by fans again?” you ask bluntly. “Besides, you should see Twitter today, it’s obsessive,” you pull a face of disgust as you scroll through posts to show your friends.
“These people need Jesus,” pipes up Grace’s boyfriend.
“You said it, babe,” Grace herself adds. “Surprised they haven’t realised he’s staying here and started camping out.” Scott tentatively looks out of the window, but nods in relief to confirm that nobody’s waiting out there.
You decide to make it the feast to end all feasts, each of you ordering food from different places and all sitting amongst your plethora of food to talk about your highlights of the whole trip, compare photos and overall just enjoy each others’ company. Even Ralph seems to perk up, which you’re glad about. He’d been pretty reserved all morning, which makes sense given how dull the day’s events have been, but you’re glad to see that there isn’t something else keeping him quiet.
Finally, the night is upon you. Everyone’s promised that they’ll all be on watch in case anyone tries to approach Ralph, either weird fanatic or potential danger, so that you can just switch off and enjoy your last night before returning to London.
You feel as though you may get to really enjoy it when you catch the attention of a man who’s far from unattractive. He keeps making eye contact with you from where he’s stood at the bar and flashing his eyes in invitation. After a few pep talks with the girls, who seem a little hesitant at first but soon warm to the idea of you having a night where you finally get to flirt and be flirted with, and just get to feel special for a night. And who knows, maybe that’ll be all it is. Maybe you won’t even spend your last night back at the house. After all, what’s a holiday for if not to live totally differently to how you would at home?
When you finally approach the bar, he smirks, “Look who finally made a decision!”
“Look who’s already blowing their shot!” you reply in the same lilted tone, making him laugh. You exchange names and he offers to buy you a drink. This is everything you’ve been needing to fill your confidence gauge - mostly banter, with the occasional ice-breaker question and the more than occasional compliment thrown your way. And honestly, the way he already matches your wit without you constantly needing to explain yourself, or reassure that you’re joking, just makes him even more attractive in the moment.
Ralph watches on from a distance, absolutely seething. Of course, you deserve to be happy. He knows that. He knows that you clearly wouldn’t be happy with him, and that’s why you’ve been keeping him at arm’s length, constantly putting the time travelling situation between you and him. But Ralph absolutely cannot stand to see it happening in front of his eyes. And so, with nothing stopping him, he marches over to you and taps your arm. “Hello!”
Not expecting any interruptions, you jolt, “Jesus, Ralph, you scared the shit out of me! Uh, yeah, this is Ralph, my - flatmate,” you explain.
“That’s right, we live together back at home as well as here!” Ralph beams falsely at the other man. “So, what are we talking about?”
The man laughs awkwardly under his breath as he shuffles in place and you say through gritted teeth, “Uh, Ralph, do you think maybe Connor wants to talk to you?”
“Oh, heavens, no, he’s got a pair of young women on the go himself, the dog!” Ralph scoffs.
“Seems as though two is an awful lot of people for just one of him to manage. Think you could take one off his hands?” you ask, again trying to make it very obvious that you want him to leave.
He doesn’t seem to be taking the hint, though. “Oh, I’d only interrupt them!”
“How terrible that would be.” You deadpan, before addressing the man you’d been talking to. “I’m so sorry, I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll be here,” he tips his glass to you. “Don’t forget, it’s your turn to buy the next round!”
You shoot him a flirtatious smile and grab Ralph’s wrist to tug him away. “Listen, Ralph, mate, I think maybe… You should spend tonight more around one of the others, than with me. Yeah?”
“But what if I slip up and mention something about… The situation at hand?” he asks, gesturing at himself.
You tut exasperatedly, “I dunno, then maybe… Just really try not to bring it up? It’s not that hard, you haven’t done it yet. I just… I really needed this, Ralph. Please?”
“Are you going to leave me in the bed alone tonight?” he asks quietly. Sadly.
You sigh. “I dunno. Maybe? We’re all adults here, Ralph, you’ve spent long enough being able to sleep in my bed by yourself, I’m sure someone else’s won’t be too different.” You find Grace, who’s with her boyfriend and Anna, and park Ralph with all of them before returning to your date for the evening.
Ralph’s only half-listening to whatever everyone else is talking about. His attention is laser-focused on that man. His hair is the same colour as Ralph’s, and it’s curly just like his, but there’s more of it. His eyes are the same colour as Ralph’s, but they’re obscured with glasses. He’s taller than Ralph, and he makes you laugh more than Ralph does, and if the cup he’s holding was made of anything other than glass, Ralph would have certainly squeezed it out of shape by now, if not broken it entirely.
While the girls take a momentary bathroom break, Grace’s boyfriend nudges Ralph. “You alright, mate? You look like the nerves are taking over. Wanna do a couple shots with me? It’ll take the edge off.”
Ralph agrees, hoping that perhaps the blanket of numbness over his brain that only alcohol causes will keep it quiet. Grace’s boyfriend has already paid for the shots when Ralph looks at them in horror. The last time he saw a shot glass filled with clear liquid, it resulted in all kinds of emotions. Still, perhaps it’s another clear spirit. Perhaps it won’t make Ralph feel the way he did that night.
Or maybe this is also vodka, and once both the shots that Ralph takes hit, perhaps he’s on his way back over to you. “Hello, again!”
You look at your date with resignation. He looks back at you with sympathy. It’s him who regards the new third wheel in the conversation, “Alright, mate? Ralph, isn’t it? How you doing?”
Ralph pays him no attention at all. “I fear I have once again gotten myself into a predicament,” he tells you.
“You’re a big boy, I’m sure you can get yourself out of it,” you flash warning eyes at Ralph to get back to literally anyone else.
He shakes his head, “No, no, it’s, um. It’s something you had explained to me. What are the different drinks that make me feel different things, again?”
You hold your hand to your head. “Ralph, mate… Do you feel as if something’s been put in your drink, or…?”
“I’m not sure what that would feel like,” he frowns, “but you know these things better than I do!”
“Here, look,” the man you’d been talking to stands up straight. So tall. “This has been great. Really great. But I think your flatmate needs you tonight, so… I’ll see you around, yeah?”
You shake your head dejectedly. “We literally go back to London first thing in the morning.”
He frowns at you sympathetically. “You’ve got a phone though, right?” You take it out to find that it’s out of battery.
You curse internally, “Knew there was something I forgot to do tonight. I’m so sorry.”
“Well. Perhaps in another time. It was lovely meeting you.” He looks Ralph up and down with a slight look of jealous defeat. “You too, mate,” he adds to Ralph through gritted teeth before stroking your arm once more, letting it linger for as long as possible until he walks away.
Something in you finally snaps. Every part of you is just… So done with Ralph right now. And he has the audacity to perk up again once it’s just the two of you?! “What the fuck was that about, Ralph?!”
“Well, I was just going to say that Grace’s… Gentleman friend had bought me some of those shots and I think they’re the sort that have the effect on me that you remember better than I,” Ralph explains with a slight shrug.
You shake your head. “Nah, nah, there’s more to it than that. I made it very clear that I was hitting it off with him, and I just wanted a night where I could -” You cut yourself off, but Ralph feels the tension, soaking it in himself.
“Oh, go on and get it over with, won’t you?” Ralph asks, once again playing the sad card. “It’s obvious there’s things you want to say to me, just say them to my face, please.”
“Okay, you know that’s not fair when you pull that shit, because then it makes me feel bad when I am allowed to be pissed off at you!” you snap. “You want me to say it to your face?! Alright, how’s about this, then. Having you at my ankles 24/7 is fucking exhausting, Ralph. I can’t even go on one night out and talk to one person that isn’t you, I - I didn’t sign up to be some random guy’s mother -”
“I do not see you like I would Mother!” Ralph defends, offence very obvious in his expression.
“Then why am I the one always cooking for you, always cleaning for you, always fucking working overtime because I’m paying for your bills and your food and your clothes -”
“Because, as you keep telling me, I’m not a real person here!” Ralph hisses through his teeth.
“It’s not just that, though, it’s the attitude that comes with it. You are so used to your little rich boy life that you don’t see how much I’m going through. My back is in constant fucking agony from months on that godawful sofa. I don’t get a single day off to myself anymore. I mean, fuck, you’ve had more dates than I have since you got here! I supported you putting yourself out there, even though it was one of the stupidest risks you could have taken -”
“Well, it’s a good job that didn’t work out then, isn’t it? Because once again, nobody wants anything to do with Ral-”
“Here it is again. I can’t just feel something, you have to also be feeling it twice as hard so that you’re the focus here, I - I can’t have anything for myself anymore!” you shout exasperatedly. “Not even one night where for once, I get to feel wanted. I - y’know, everyone fucking falls at their feet for you, you’ve even had people ask you out while we’re here! And nothing was stopping you if you wanted to! But the moment I want to indulge in the idea that maybe someone out there would show an interest in me -”
Ralph scoffs, “That man was only interested in one thing to do with you, and it’s much too vulgar. You deserve to be courted in the appropriate -”
“We’re not in the 1920s anymore, Ralph!” You press your fingers to your temples. “It’s not a bad thing for someone to just… Want you like that. And even then, let’s hash this out. Let’s say I could have been courted by him. You think someone like that is gonna think I’m worth sticking around for when I’ve got another man constantly in my shadow, fighting for my attention? I mean, fuck, what are you gonna do without me when you go back, eh?”
“Ah, again with the going home!” Ralph’s voice is audibly slurring by now. “It’s all you ever want to talk about with me, just tell me the truth already, it’ll hurt less. Tell me you can’t wait to be rid of me.”
“For fuck’s sake, Ralph, I don’t want you gone! Far fucking from it! But I’m not gonna mess with shit we know nothing about, and putting everything back where it was is logically the best thing to do.”
Ralph looks on the verge of crying. “So, that’s it, then. I’m not even worth a -one, I’m just a -thing now.”
“No, that’s not -” You take a deep breath. “Look. We’re going off on tangents that don’t even make fucking sense now. I’m going back to the house. To the bed, don’t worry your fragile little head, I’m not gonna go stand on a street corner like the harlot I am,” you pull a face, blinking back your own tears. “Thank you for ruining the one week a year I actually look forward to.”
You storm away from Ralph, though you find most of the group congregated together at the bar. You stop by them to explain that you and Ralph got into a fight, that you don’t want to talk about it but could they please just make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. They promise that they will, and so you head out of the bar, straight into one of the parked taxis and finally let yourself cry as it drives you back to the house.
next chapter
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