Inspired by @ovegakart 's kick ass twilight princess and skyward sword robos. I couldn't get the idea of a mass shifting robo hero of the minish out of my head so I had to draw.

Ezlo, a tiny techno-organic being turned into his current form by his former apprentice, merges with the hero. This unlocks the ability to mass shift down to sizes thought too energy intensive to be possible. Link learns that wheels aren't much use at such a small scale and adopts a mulldozer alt mode.

Concept doodle drawn on a post-it note. kept most of it more or less the same with a handful of obvious changes.

More Than Meets the Eye #29 - The One Where Everyone Gets Super Shiny

Our issue opens up with Swerve laying down the Story So Far in the Exposition Dimension.

Fantastic, you funky little man.

If Swerve looks like he’s been tossed through the car wash a few dozen times, it’s because this is where our new colorist comes in! Everyone, please say hello to Joana Lafuente- known for her love of gradients and attention to light sources, this actually isn’t the first time we’ve run into her. Lafuente worked on colors for several issues of The Transformers (2009), Last Stand of the Wreckers #3, and a few issues of MTMTE Season 1. However, she was matching the styles of her co-colorists on a majority of these, so we haven’t seen her style properly until now.

Getting into the story proper, Cyclonus is busying himself with staring out the window at a PNG of space, as he is wont to do, when he hears the tell-tale sound of tires squealing down the hall towards his room. Oh, goodness, whoever could that be?

Nearly forgot about him, didn’t you? Yeah, it’s a little difficult to follow up on things like a character’s recovery from a horrific disease when you’ve got comic event contract obligations to deal with.

After getting tackled by Tailgate, who reminds us all about the time he stuck his dirty little fingers into a dude’s brain meat, Cyclonus takes the little nerd on a walk through the ship.

You’re not going to convince me to reread “Dark Cybertron”. I don’t care how much of a marshmallow you are, it’s not happening.

They’re passed by Megatron and a bunch of crew members carrying that coffin we saw at the end of last issue down the corridor, Tailgate has a moment, and we get a taste of Cyclonus’ distaste for the Autobots as a whole. Tailgate is mildly offended by this, as he gropes his chest in distain, showing off his shiny new Autobot badge- a gift for not dying a terrible, gruesome death.

Good job, Tailgate. Proud of you.

They’re also passed by an absolutely blitzed Jackpot and Mainframe, the former singing Tailgate’s Tyrest-stopping praises as the latter carts him over to the Medibay to deal with the almost alcohol poisoning he’s got going on. Cyclonus remarks that Tailgate was missed, though Tailgate can’t help but wonder if that’s really true.

Y’all like slowburn romance, right? Because these two dumbasses have been roommates for two years, and we’ve just gotten to the point where physical contact can happen without one of them needing to be dying.

Anyway, it’s been a good day for Tailgate so far. Let’s hope it stays that way for the little dude.

...And that’s a series wrap on Tailgate! Let’s give him a hand, folks!

Hopping back in time to Megatron’s trial, things get underway, as Optimus Prime takes a nap in the judge’s bench as Gripper- whose name you don’t need to remember, as he’s not actually important- tells everyone about how brutal the Decepticon Justice Division is, even to Autobots. Which isn’t really supposed to be their deal, given their, y’know, name, but I suppose nobody’s perfect.

Up in the stands, in an… opera box, I guess? Rodimus is watching the proceedings, when Atomizer walks in. Which I guess you can just do in a Cybertronian court case. Sure.

Atomizer, in case you forgot, is the dude who has a bow and arrow, and used to be an interior designer.

Say, didn’t Whirl has a bow and arrow in the last issue when he attacked Megatron? Mighty curious, that.

Rodimus and Atomizer briefly reflect on the DJD, recalling the horror that was Vos- not that Vos, the other one. Rodimus would really just rather this all be over with so the Lost Light can get back to finding the Knights of Cybertron, and it’s at this point that Atomizer breaks out a thing he really ought not have- the count for the vote on whether or not Rodimus should stay on as captain. Rodimus doesn’t want to look at it, because it was supposed to be anonymous for a reason, and tells Atomizer to destroy the list entirely.

Hm, that’s not a terribly determined face there, Rodimus.

Back in the present, specifically in Swerve’s, Groove is threatening to break Streetwise’s arm, as we get the downlow on just what exactly our Legislator buddy’s deal is. Turn’s out, Swerve got one of the things reprogrammed, so that he follows not the Autobot Code, but something else entirely.

Hey, Swerve?

I don’t expect you to know this, because I don’t think you were present when they revealed this information to the readers, but… your new bouncer is made of people. He’s a dude made of other dudes, namely the Circle of Light. There’s a chance that you reprogrammed a sentient being, my good bitch.

Anyway, Swerve’s in a fucking mood because his shoulder hurts, someone’s stealing his shit, and Megatron has joined the narrative. Over at a nearby table, Skids, Nautica, and Riptide take a gander at the tabloids. Trailcutter, who is positively smashed, to the point where he’s just leaking booze out of his face like it’s his job, isn’t terribly interested in that, however.

What an astute observation, Riptide. And people say you’re stupid!

Trailcutter wants to drink some more, because it’s very likely he’s got a problem, but the mention of “Megatron’s super fuel” makes him feel like it’s time to stop hounding Swerve and start performing crimes.

Back during the trial, we get to Starscream’s testimony. He’s wearing his crown. He’s acting like a self-righteous asshole, as he defends Megatron.

Well, “defend” in the technical, legal sense, I suppose.

But really it’s more about him insulting Megatron’s intelligence, strength, and courage, in front of a LOT of people, while also trying to make himself look better in the war crime department. Megatron doesn’t appreciate this very much, if his murder-face is anything to go by.

Megatron lets Ultra Magnus (his defender, if you’ll recall) know that he wants a private word, and court goes into a brief recess.

Back in the present, Nightbeat’s busy looking at a pin-up of Rung’s alt-mode, when someone knocks on his door. That someone is Chromedome, who’s trying to solve the mystery of The Missing Declaration of Love. Not that he says that specifically out loud.

You two were married, why- okay. No point in yelling at this digital copy of a comic book.

Anyway.

So, the whole screaming thing only happened the one time, and everything was back to normal on subsequent plays of Rewind’s message. Nightbeat seems to be leaning towards the depressive isolating getting to Chromedome, which Chromedome responds to by telling him to get the fuck out. Alas, someone’s blocking the door!

YO WHAT THE FUCK-

Back with Trailcutter’s subplot, our drunken friend is in the middle of breaking into the Medibay. Our trio of cool-colored pals watch him from back at the bar, by way of a laptop that looks like it was built the same year I was born.

As Trailcutter attempts to commit a crime, Megatron, Ultra Magnus, and Ratchet pass by, trying to figure out how to handle the whole coffin situation. Trailcutter’s about to punch the locks off a door, and Nautica decides that this is where she’s going to draw the line today, leaving the gaggle of fools to their shenanigans. Then Tailgate glomps Skids, throwing the computer to the ground and breaking it, as Trailcutter finds the door to the Medibay magically open.

If you don’t know what glomping is, there’s a 60% chance that you’re not old enough to vote in the US.

Trailcutter sneaks into the Medibay, we get a reminder that Ambulon is super dead, and Trailcutter commits theft from a food bank. What a guy.

This is the point where security shows up, armed with a great deal of guns, one of which is Megatron himself. Trailcutter, instead of feeling super powerful, actually feels positively awful after consuming Megatron’s rations of “super fuel”. Because he, as an Autobot, doesn’t want to be within 50 yards of Megatron, Trailcutter breaks out the forcefields the moment the guy approaches him. And oh, what a doozy this one is.

Trailcutter’s gotten himself a fancy new trick- this forcefield he’s broken out lasts for a solid half-hour, and he can’t turn it off. I’m sure that won’t bite him in the ass at any point in the near future, no-siree!

Back in the past, Rattrap is commending Starscream on playing the field and getting the public slightly more on his side, but Starscream’s too busy patting himself on the back to really pay attention. He knew damn well that Megatron wouldn’t like what he had to say on the stand, and now things are finally looking up for ol’ Screamer.

Over with Optimus Prime, Slamdance is showing off how the general public is really into this whole “folks being held accountable for their actions” thing.

In the present, Chromedome and Nightbeat seem to have remembered they have alt-modes and are driving down the hall back to Nightbeat’s room- wonder what the speed limit for the Lost Light is?- and discuss just what the hell happened. The current theory is that the Rewind they saw was a Data Ghost- a collection of information so dense, it had a not-quite-physical presence that wasn’t 100% removed when he died.

Which is a little fucked up, but let’s see where this goes.

Nightbeat undoes the 40,000 locks on his door while Chromedome bleeds guilt all over the shag carpet over the fact that he hasn’t been looking for Dominus Ambus like he said he would.

C’mon James, gimme that Chromedominus endgame.

Nightbeat finally opens the door to find a small problem.

Hm. That’s… not normal.

Over in the Medibay, Trailcutter’s bubble has burst, allowing Megatron to slap him in the back of the head. This head-slapping induces his FIM chip permanently, making it so that he can never get drunk again.

Weird party trick, Megatron. Kinda shitty, really.

Megatron then gives Trailcutter the job of director of security, because he needs direction in his life. Trailcutter just sort of takes what he’s given, because I suppose you can’t really argue with a guy who can literally slap you sober, and also threatens to destroy you if you fuck up even once. Nice, Megs. Nice.

MEGATRON THAT’S BEEN SITTING LIKE THAT FOR OVER HALF AN HOUR YOU FUCKING WET NOODLE

So, since there’s mystery juice all over the floor and no one’s died, Megatron assumes that the coffin ought to be fine to crack open.

Please note that Megatron is not a medical professional, and his views are now peer reviewed by medical professionals. Megatron is in no way endorsed by the WHO.

Anyway, Rodimus is in there.

Pretty fucked up.

Back in the past, recess is over, and Ultra Magnus comes bearing bad news- Megatron wants to change his plea to “innocent.” This gets about the reaction one would expect from just about anyone.

Well, except Rodimus, who’s too busy reading that list that he wanted destroyed. He’s very sad about it.

I know, what a bummer!

FGO Danmei Romani AU - Post Solomon Singularity

I’m still alive. Um, yeah. Have been more active on Twitter, sorry. But still check here for FGO stuff ever now and then.

Speaking of FGO, I made this AU when one of my twt friends shared a post with me and activated my muse. ((Full post edition))

Twitter Alt

-FGO SPOILERS AFTER UNDERCUT-

After Solomon uses Ars Nova, he wakes up on the side of a road in his Chaldea uniform, but with the addition of another set of clothing and a backpack that looks like what he used when traveling the world before joining Chaldea.

He checks out the bag and sees it has a mix of medical supplies & equipment, generic camping tools, and items that look like they belong ancient times of Asia (i.e. scrolls, brush & ink, talismans).  

Romani closes his bag and unfolds the bundle of clothing next. He is greeted with a green and white robe that is a traditional Chinese outfit similar to what Jing Ke wears.  

At that, he goes back to the bag and pulls out one of the scrolls.  

He takes a good long look at it and realizes that it’s ancient Chinese writing that he can understand for some reason. He puts the scroll back into the bag. While doing so, he sees a familiar ring on his finger. Romani freaks out.  

He remembers the end of the Final Singularity, but doesn’t know why he is here.  

By all means, he should have essentially ceased to exist once he cast Ars Nova. Yet he is here, wherever here is, very much alive and existing.  

Before he can freak out more, a monster pops up from the ground a good few feet away from him.  

Romani panics and is about to cast a Gandr, when an arrow comes out of nowhere and kills the monster instead.  

The doctor turns to face his savior and is greeted by a young teen of Chinese descent in traditional Chinese clothing, that he feels like he knows the name of, holding a bow & arrow.  

“Greetings, from which Sect do you hail from fellow Cultivator?” The young teen asks Romani after making sure no more monsters will pop out.  

“Excuse me? Did you say you were a Cultivator?” Romani asks in reply.  

Hey, would you look at that, the doctor can understand the spoken language as well. He has obtained Ancient Chinese language comprehension without doing anything.

As the doctor converses more with this Cultivator, he is slowly remembering something Guda has mentioned. A hobby that they enjoyed before the Singularities. 

What was it called again, dame? Wo shiya? 

Oh, now he remembers, it’s Wuxia Novels. 

Oh god, Romani has ended up in a Wuxia world all alone with no way to properly explain where he came from. He is a Transmigrator if he remembers from Guda’s rambling about it.

Worse, the young Cultivator (who is not a mage, yet might as well be) is looking at Romani in concern and- is that blood on the arm? Is the young Cultivator bleeding?  

Romani goes into his doctor mode as he takes the young Cultivator's arm and examines the wound. He glares as he realizes that it's a poisonous wound. The young Cultivator shows no signs of discomfort, so the poison must have some numbing effect. 

Romani quickly goes to work to extract the poison and treat the wound. Once he is done, did he realize that he essentially treated a patient without consent. All the time treating Guda's, made him forget about it.  

As he apologizes to the young Cultivator for treating the wound without consent, the Cultivator drags Romani to a rural village nearby. The young Cultivator doesn't stop until the two enter a big building. 

Once inside, Romani is greeted with a sight that can only be described as a battlefield to the doctor. Some of them are poisoned, others have laceration wounds, and then there are those that are coughing from the flu or a possible disease.

"Can you help them as you have helped me?" The young Cultivator asks. 

Romani looks at the people in the building, the young Cultivator with hopeful eyes, and to the growing crowd outside.  

The doctor has many questions he needs answers to. Mysteries to figure out on his arrival, then what is the purpose of being here. Among other things that he should be doing to learn more about this place. 

And yet, looking at those people suffering from wounds and ailments that can be easily treated back in his world, his answer couldn't be more clear.

"Yes, I will do my best. I can't promise that I can help everyone, but I will try and do what I can to make sure all who can recover, can. After all, it's a doctor's duty to help treat people whenever possible" Romani answers with a reassuring smile usually given to Mash & Guda.

The young Cultivator smiles and bows.  

After getting consent from the patients and relatives of the patients, the doctor gets to work on treating the people.  

And that is the start of Romani's reputation of being an almost legendary healer in this world, even though rumors have it that there are no signs of him using Cultivation.  

Romani decides to travel the lands and help those in need when the world's current medical knowledge fails them. Which is often.

Several 'incurable diseases' that would need legendary medicine are now curable since Romani shares basic homemade remedies and treatment plans that anyone can afford.  

The more he travels, the more knowledge he gains of the world, the more he helps heal people, the more the rumors of him spread until they reach the Cultivation World.  

When the Cultivators hears that Romani has cured several 'incurable diseases' that plague non-Cultivators, they wonder if he can possibly cure an 'incurable disease' that is affecting Cultivators. 

So a famous Sect declares that they will find Romani and bring him here. They send one of their own to find the traveling doctor. 

It has been quite some time since Dr. Romani has arrived in this world that he is surprised that he hasn't run into any Cultivators besides that young teen when he initially arrived.  

Thinking about it the monsters here are also wary of him. Which is odd.

While traveling, the doctor discovers he can still use his Magecraft & Magic Circuits here. He accidentally discovered it when he uses a simple healing spell on an unconscious farmer to prevent him from bleeding out of a head wound. The doctor didn't have his medical supplies, so using magecraft was his next option.  

When he was using the spell, he felt his magic circuits flare but also another sensation. He can't think of it more in the current situation but when he thinks back on it, he feels as though he is pulling from another source of power. Similar to how he used to as a Servant, but more mythic in nature (it's the world).  

---  

When the doctor treats people with his medical knowledge or magecraft, he leaves thinking that the people healed will be on a completely normal recovery process. What he doesn't realize is that those that he treats have a minor accelerated recovery a couple of days after he leaves.  

If the doctor knew, then he would be baffled since nothing like this has happened in his original world.  

---

Early in his travels, Dr. Romani was foraging herbs for medicine in a deep forest filled to the brim with a mystical feeling. As he is finished with his search, he stumbles across a strangely familiar wounded animal. He treats the wounds and cleans it up.  

Once clean, the doctor realizes that this animal looks like Fou. Then when the Fou look-alike wakes up, it is revealed to be Fou. This is done when Fou takes one look at Romani followed by pawing the man's face and snuggling up to his neck.  

(What Romani won't learn until far in the future is that this Fou is actually a counterpart that was born after the Beast sacrificed himself at the end of the Solomon Singularity.)  

Once the Fou counterpart is healed, he travels with Romani again...under a new nickname the doctor gave him,' Fou-Fou’.  

Fou-Fou gives the doctor a flying kick the first time he is called that.  

---  

With the addition of Fou as a traveling companion, the rumors of the doctor flares again in the Cultivation and Non-Cultivation Worlds. Rumors spread about a mythical creature of unknown origins traveling with the wandering doctor. Everyone now thinks that the doctor has been 'Blessed by the Heavens' so to speak.  

Romani is oblivious as always to any rumors concerning him since he doesn't know what people call him besides traveling/wandering doctor or healer. 

Fou-Fou, on the other hand, learns of these rumors and laughs. The Beast Counterpart is finding new humor in the future suffering the doctor will experience.  

For now, Fou-Fou headbutts the doctor in the stomach before he accepts half of the agreed payment from the shady village chief.  

Honestly, Romani is possibly more useless than before to the Beast Counterpart since Magical Mari isn't a thing in this world.  

---  

Remember that a famous Cultivator Sect sent someone to find Romani to make him cure a Cultivator's 'incurable disease'?  

Romani doesn't know that Cultivators are looking for him since he travels through nature instead of the normal man-made paths. It's an easy path to forage for herbs and he can get the exercise he has been missing for quite some time. Also, Fou-Fou prefers the nature paths instead of the other ones.  

While the two were traveling near a cliff, Romani slips on a patch of moss and fall down the cliff. Fou-Fou watches Romani fall and jumps after him shortly after.  

As the doctor falls, he can't help but scream. Thinking that this is how his life will end for the second time. He closes his eyes and thinks about those that he misses. Mash, Guda, Da Vinci, Magi Mari, Olga Marie, the Servants of Chaldea, and finally, his Master from the Fourth Holy Grail War.  

Apologies are sent and Romani braces for impact, only it doesn't hurt. Instead, he feels very much alive and held?  

Did someone catch him?

Romani Archaman opens his eyes and gasps at the face of his savior.  

Director Marisbury Animusphere's face is staring back at Romani, only it doesn't seem right. He seems different somehow. The doctor reaches his hand up and touches the other man's face  

"Ma- gah!" Romani chokes as Fou lands on his stomach. The last thing he sees is the out-of-character look of shock Marisbury gives him before he falls unconscious.

===

Senior Cultivator 'Marisbury Animusphere' is a well-respected and well-liked member of his Sect. He is rumored to be the next Sect Leader with Senior Cultivator 'Lev Lainur' as the runner-up. The two are good martial siblings to one another but aren't exactly close. They have similar Cultivations, but they are vastly different as well. 'Marisbury' even heard rumors that Lev is studying Demonic Cultivation as well. Which doesn't bother him, he has new disciples to train for the Sect.  

Only now it seems like he is sent on a mission to find and retrieve a legendary healer of the Non-Cultivation Realm. Which he humbly accepts.  

What the Senior Cultivator presumed to be a simple search mission, ends up being a long journey of chasing after what could be considered a divine being.  

Everywhere he looks, he sees the aftermath of a miracle happening. Any inquiries about the mysterious healer are met with hostility until 'Marisbury' promises that he doesn't wish to do any harm to the rumored healer. Even then, the information obtained is sparse and barely worth anything.  

'Marisbury' is at his wits ends when he gets some information that the rumored miracle-working healer is close. The Cultivator quickly mounts his sword and flies to the area that the healer is. He arrives at a path near the cliffs and walks in search of the legendary healer.  

He doesn't have to wait long.

For the legendary healer falls into his arms, literally.  

The Cultivator is going to ask if the healer is alright when the words get caught in his throat. For one look at the man makes 'Marisbury' think that he is breath-taking.  

The healer reaches up and cradles 'Marisbury's face with one hand.  

"Ma- gah!"  

Is the only thing that 'Marisbury' hears before the Divine Beast that travels with the healer lands on his stomach and knocks him unconscious.  

'Marisbury' stares at the healer's companion and is given a smug grin in return and-  

"Danmei-Fou"

=====

If you didn't get it, in the end, Fou-Fou realizes that he and Romani didn't end up in a Wuxia world, they ended up in a Danmei world.  

If Romani was more knowledgeable to distinguish the two, he would have realized it. But since he isn't, he thinks he is in a Wuxia until it gets through his thick skull that he is not.

Top Ten Expensive Transformers

The hiatus is over! Thanks for your patience with last week folks. Something a bit different today Tumblr! Not the long awaited project, but a fun little aside. A while ago, I was scrolling around on Google, and I saw a clickbait article that alleged to discuss ‘the top ten most difficult to obtain Transformers’. I was curious, and, perhaps foolishly, I clicked on it. To my disappointment, the article was merely a list of expensive MISB G1 figures, which is… Well, boring. So, today, I hope to correct that grave injustice with an article about, in a loose order, 10 Transformers that are difficult to obtain, even if you’re willing to lay out a lot of money. 

A couple of rules before we jump in; First, these aren’t the most expensive Transformers or the rarest transformers, because those questions don’t really make sense. How much a figure costs varies from seller to seller, so it’s impossible to establish a list of the absolute most expensive. Also, many figures that are famously expensive are not expensive in absolute terms, but for their price point.  Similarly, with an exception we’ll discuss in a moment, actual rarity can be quite hard to establish. As far as contents of the list go,  Takara Tomy will occasionally create special ‘lucky draw’ figures for contests in magazines and things. How many they produce varies from figure to figure, but it generally is between 50 and 10. These will be excluded from the list, because if they weren’t, the whole list would be lucky draw figures. (Although they’re cool as shit and you should go take a look http://www.luckydrawtransformers.com/)  Similarly, there are a ton of figures like Victory Leokaiser that command a lot of money on the secondary market just because they were japanese exclusive. These would also take up a ton of room on the list, so I’m going to avoid them unless there’s a really good reason to have them on here. Same for convention exclusives. Without further ado, let’s get started! 

10: Action Master Thundercracker 

Normally, when a toy is exclusive to somewhere, it’s Japan. However, as we’ll discuss later, in G1, Europe and other parts of the world saw some strange distribution. (NexusShard17) Towards the end of G1, “the European Hasbro branches continued releasing new toys which the USA would never get.”(NexusShard17) Perhaps the most notorious of these is Action Master Thundercracker, which has one of the most magnificent color schemes ever seen on a transformer. Where Thundercracker is traditionally blue, Action Master Thundercracker is neon pink, lime green, and a bunch of metallic copper paint and baby blue thrown in for good measure. (Geewunling) Because of the exclusivity of the figure, and it’s desirable, awful color scheme, it tends to command quite a bit on the secondary market. 

How do I get one? 

You can reliably find him on ebay in varying states of completeness, which of course impacts the price. For the figure itself with a few accessories, he goes for around 70-80 dollars, ranging to 150 and up for MISB. 

9: Dark of the Moon Wheeljack/Que: 

Who? 

Wheeljack/Que had a bit part in Dark of the Moon. He was mostly kind of around until he got shot towards the end of the film, for emotions or something. (SFH) He had a toy fully produced, but, when the DOTM line was prematurely axed, Wheeljack’s toy was left in limbo. Takara was eventually able to release Wheeljack in their markets, but he never saw an official US release. (SFH)  

How do I get one? 

Because the toy did actually see an official release somewhere on the planet, it’s not particularly rare, just expensive for a deluxe. You can generally buy one for around $100 on eBay. 

Notes: 

This fate is actually fairly common for toys. Most of the final wave of DOTM was eventually released by Takara. Similarly, although much of the tail end of Transformers: Animated was genuinely axed, figures such as Blackout did see release in Japan.(Abates) (And are also quite expensive.) I mostly picked Wheeljack because he’s the one I always think of. 

8: Masterforce Browning

Who? 

Browning was exclusive to the Japanese G1 line, Super God Masterforce. However, what really makes him difficult to come by is his alternate mode; Browning turns into a Browning M1910 pistol. (TVsGrady) Not only does he turn into a real model of gun, it’s a pretty convincing alt-mode from a distance; no orange safety cap, just sweet sweet chrome the whole figure over. Obviously, this would not fly in today’s toy market, and that makes a reissue of Browning extremely unlikely.

How do I get one? 

Between the reissue problem, the fact that his alt-mode is honestly really cool and novel, and his limited, Japanese release, it’s tough to even find an original Browning for sale on Ebay. Even when he is available, he tends to command a clean couple hundred. Your best bet would be dedicated trading forums. 

7: Hasbro DOTM Leadfoot 

Who? 

Much like Wheeljack, Leadfoot had a bit part in DOTM. He showed up for a few scenes with the Wreckers and built a spaceship and made Nascar jokes. Also like Wheeljack, Leadfoot was planned to receive a deluxe class figure, but with the untimely demise of DOTM, it was not to be. Takara did release a version of Leadfoot, and, like Wheeljack, this is expensive, but not unobtainable. What is excruciatingly hard to come by is one of the unreleased Hasbro two-packs of the character, which contained Leadfoot in a different deco from Takara’s, and a deluxe Topspin. Packaged samples are known to exist, but never officially saw release in any market. 

How do I get one? 

Takara’s Leadfoot generally commands $80-150 on eBay, and you can generally find one or two floating around. If you want the Hasbro deco, well… Good luck. The transformers wiki confirms that there was once one listed on eBay.(MSipher) Now, nine years after DOTM, your best bet would be to know someone, to know someone who knows someone, or to have an in at a place where things like this are discussed and trafficked. 

6: Rally Rhinox 

Who? 

Many of you are likely familiar with the Beast Wars character Rhinox. Many of you are probably not familiar with the promotional toy that character received at local American chain Rally’s. (S.H.I.E.L.D Agent 47) It looks nothing like Rhinox, or even really like a rhino.(S.H.I.E.L.D Agent 47) However, “Most people didn't realize the promotion even existed until after it was over, and the restaurant chain is fairly small and somewhat regional.” (S.H.I.E.L.D Agent 47) Because collectors are how they are, it tends to be quite expensive. 

How do I get one? 

The cursory ebay search I did recently didn’t turn anything up. However, a little more digging found some previous listings on old transformers forums. It appears to have gone for about 100 dollars, which is quite a bit, considering it’s a worse happy meal toy. 

5:Latin American G1 product 

What? 

G1’s international distribution was a bit of a mess. Hasbro handled the US, but “The earliest toys released in continental Europe (minus Italy) were distributed by Milton Bradley, which was in the process of being taken over by Hasbro at that point.”(NexusShard17, The Transformers) In Latin America, the situation was even more complex. No fewer than five licensees were producing G1 figures, often in unique and striking color schemes. (Whalermouse) With the passage of time, the exact scope of what was produced has become unclear; for example, “There are supposedly upwards of three dozen different mold/color combinations altogether, many of them unique to the Peruvian line, but the ravages of time have made samples stunningly rare and reliable information scarce.” (Whalermouse) The actual rarity of the figures depends on what specific piece you’re after, but all of them command outrageous sums. 

How do I get one? 

Many of these pieces are available to purchase on ebay. However, even the mini-vehicles tend to command on the order of 300-400 dollars. However, as you can imagine from the fact that it is uncertain what all exists, some individual colors and figures might prove exquisitely difficult to find. 

4: W Cassettebots 

What? 

Wouldn’t it be cool if Soundwave had some cassettes that turned into dinosaurs? What if they combined? Well if you lived in Japan in the 80’s, and preferred Blaster, you didn’t have to dream. There were two teams of cassettes that turned into dinosaurs, and that combined, albeit somewhat awkwardly. (M Sipher, W Cassettebot) At the end of the Headmasters, “there were a number of toys exclusive to Japan, most of which today command large sums on the secondary market due to rarity (or at least perceived rarity) in the West.” The W Cassettebots were solidly in that category. However, unlike other such exclusives, the W Cassettebots didn’t see a reissue until 2018-2019. (Interrobang; S.H.I.E.L.D Agent 47) For decades these figures could command 2000-3000 dollars for the pair. Even knock offs would go for several hundred dollars. Although these are expensive simply because of their exclusivity, their notoriety earns them a place on the list. 

How do I get one? 

If you’re a reasonable human being, you buy the reissue. It’s two orders of magnitude cheaper and you can actually play with it.  If you’re actually interested in the real deal, an accepted path is to buy some KOs to familiarize yourself with what those look like, and then… find the boys themselves somewhere? Likely by reaching out to an individual seller; I’ve never even seen a real pair on ebay. 

3: G2 Bomber Megatron 

A toy that essentially anyone can buy, but with a packaging variant that is next to unobtainable? Oh baybee, welcome to this version of G2 Megatron. “A planned-but-more-or-less-canceled redeco of Generation 2 Dreadwing, this two-pack of Megatron and Starscream was only released to test markets in Ohio in very limited quanities, and never saw a wide release… the toy was instead made available, with just a few small deco changes, in the Beast Wars II toyline as BB and Starscream.”(ItsWalky) Why do we care about how difficult this is to obtain? My god, because it’s there. Because it’s there. 

How do I get one? 

I’mma say you don’t. I’d guess less than 500 samples of any sort of this are around, and new in sealed box which is the only thing you’d care about? You’re at the mercy of Ohioese children of the 80s not playing with the cool toy they were bought. Good luck finding one. When you do, be prepared to break your wallet in half. 

2: G2 Defensor and Menasor 

These guys really should be number one on the list (but they’re not quite for a good reason). The place they occupy in transformers culture is legendary. It’s a newsworthy event when a set of these figures even becomes available to buy. Even Hasbro has lampshaded the rarity of these figures in the bio of one Shortround, a Cybertron toy. (KilMichaelMcC; Bronzewolf) Much as the first entry on our list, Action Master Thundercracker, had a phenomenally garish color scheme, Menasor and Defensor were going to be released that way in G2. However, between one thing and another, they were canceled. In spite of that, several samples are known to exist. Imagine it. A G1 combiner, unreleased, with this magnificent, gaudy color scheme, all those delightful little bits and pieces to lose or misplace over the years, a bare handful of extant ones in any event… The stuff of legends, to be sure. 

How do I get one? 

Know someone who knows someone. These tend to go for in the neighborhood of 20000 dollars. If you have the 20k to drop on one of these guys, you probably know someone who can put you in contact with one. They are also, rarely, listed on ebay. 

1: Chrome Optimus Prime

Okay, I know I said no Lucky Draw figures, but this one is special. There aren’t ten, or fifteen, or fifty of these. There are exactly two, as part of a single display. (MasterX224) “Won by TFW2005.com member James Zahn, this one-of-a-kind (well, two-of-a-kind) piece is an almost fully vacuum-metallized Leader-class Optimus Prime in red, silver and blue (based heavily upon Generation 1 Optimus Prime), presented with a custom display base with an embossed silver Autobot insignia and a perspex display case.” (MasterX224) The fact that there are two of this figure catapults it to the absolute stratosphere of rarity. It’s difficult to imagine what figure that actually exists could be rarer than this. Maybe a one-off thing for a valued Takara employee? Maybe the very first prototype of Optimus Prime? Even things like Menasor and Defensor have a handful of samples. What has just two? Well… this Chrome Optimus Prime. 

How do I get one? 

Well it helps to be James Zhan. And… yeah I think that’s really all. He’s certainly not going to give it up any time soon. Maybe if you meet him he’ll let you take a look at it some day? 

I hope you all enjoyed this loose list of some of the rarest/most expensive for what they are Transformers. There’s a ton of other super notorious lads, (cough G1 Raiden cough) that really do deserve to be on here. These are just a few of the ones I thought were interesting and, candidly, know about. I’m not in the circles of those folks who are collecting the rarest of the rare. If there’s anything you know about or would even like to spread rumors about, mention it! I’d love to hear about them. Also, if this caught your fancy, make sure to check out the lucky draw website. They have all sorts of interesting stories up there.

TVsGrady et al. “Browning” TFwiki. https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Browning Accessed 11/1/2020

SFH et al. “Wheeljack (Movie)” TFwiki. https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Que Accessed 11/27/2020

Abates et al. “Blackout (Animated)” TFwiki. 

https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Blackout_(Animated) Accessed 11/27/2020

NexusShard17 et al/ “Transformers: Dark of the Moon (toyline)” TFwiki. https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Transformers:_Dark_of_the_Moon_(toyline) Accessed 11/27/2020

MSipher et al. “Leadfoot (DOTM)” TFwiki. https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Leadfoot_(DOTM) Accessed 11/27/2020

S.H.I.E.L.D Agent 47 “Rhinox (BW)/toys” TFwiki. 

https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Rhinox_(BW)/toys#Beast_Wars Accessed 11/27/2020

NexusShard17 et al. “ The Transformers (European toyline)” TFwiki. 

https://tfwiki.net/wiki/The_Transformers_(European_toyline)#1985 Accessed 11/27/2020

Whalermouse et al. “The Transformers (Toyline)” TFwiki. 

https://tfwiki.net/wiki/The_Transformers_(toyline)#Mexican_.26_South_American_Transformers Accessed 11/27/2020

MSipher et al. “W Cassettebot” TFwiki. 

https://tfwiki.net/wiki/W_Cassettebot Accessed 11/27/2020

M Sipher et al. “Fight! Super Robot Lifeform Transformers! (toyline)” TFwiki. 

https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Transformers:_The_Headmasters_(toyline)#1987_.28The_Headmasters.29 Accessed 11/27/2020

Interrobang et al. “Graphy” TFwiki. 

https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Graphy#Vintage_G1 Accessed 11/27/2020

S.H.I.E.L.D Agent 47 et al. “Dairu” TFwiki. 

https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Dairu#Toys Accessed 11/27/2020

Geewunling et al. “Thundercracker (G1)/toys” TFwiki. 

https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Thundercracker_(G1)/toys#ActionMaster Accessed 11/27/2020

ItsWalky et al. “Megatron (G1)/toys” TFwiki. 

https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Megatron_(G1)/toys#Generation_2 Accessed 11/27/2020

Bronzewolf, “Unreleased G2 Menasor Prototype listed on Ebay again” Siebertron

https://www.seibertron.com/transformers/news/unreleased-g2-menasor-prototype-listed-on-ebay-again/36662/ Accessed 11/27/2020

KilMichaelMcC et al. “Generation 2 Defensor and Menasor” TFwiki.

https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Generation_2_Defensor_and_Menasor Accessed 11/27/2020

MasterX224 et al. “Optimus Prime (Movie)/toys” TFwiki. 

https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Optimus_Prime_(Movie)/toys#Leader_Class_toys Accessed 11/27/2020

TRANSFORMERS : CAR ROBOTS / RiD 2000

Ultra Magnus x human! female! reader oneshot (yep I decided to turn it into a oneshot)

Please all credits to Transformers belong to Hasbro and Idw and whichever company was responsible for this series.

I do not own Transformers (as much as I wish I did, I don't...I'm not that rich XD sooooo, yeaaaa)

Y/n = Your name

L/n = Last name

---kinda fluff that might lead to slighttttt angst---

《○•••••••••••••••••••○》

{ 3rd person's P.O.V. }

Ultra Magnus shook his head with slight disapproval.

You were reckless, extremely reckless. Climbing the tallest trees without giving any second thought as to how you'd be able to climb back down, skateboarding along the highway admist speeding cars and most of all, being at the wrong place at the wrong time. The latter, being the reason how you two met in the first place.

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

The day started out like normal, just how any other day would. It felt like a good enough day to go bike riding outside near the forest area, so that's what you did.

Ultra Magnus was doing what he usually did, watching the Autobot brothers fight against the Predacons. Since it was just the Predacons he didn't feel the need to interfere, besides the brothers were handling them quite well. The ruckus they were creating though succeeded in gaining your attention as you happened to be passing nearby that place.

Pulling the brakes on your bike you looked around trying to locate the source of all the chaos before you confirmed it's origin. Any other person would have thought of booking it outta there, but then again you weren't just 'any other person', you were Y/n L/n. With a determined look in your eyes you tightened your hold on the bike's handles and started making your way towards all the chaos.

Big mistake. Those were the only words running through your mind as you stayed there, frozen on the spot and staring up at the ginORMOUS ROBOTS FIGHTING EACH OTHER.

Thankfully, due to your small size as a human, they didn't notice you standing there admist their fight. Not so thankfully though, that became a problem the moment the Autobot brothers moved out of the way to avoid getting hit by their lasers, lasers that came charging towards your direction.

The Autobot brothers chased after the Predacons as you tried to move out of the lasers' path, emphasis on 'tried to'. You had ended up stumbling due to the sudden movement and watched as the lasers got closer, before covering your head with your arms and screaming bloody murder.

Ultra Magnus, on the other hand saw this as his optics widened. 'What in the world is a human doing over there?!', he quickly brushed aside that thought and rushed towards you, speeding up to make it to you.

As he reached you, no time was wasted by him in grabbing you in his servos and bringing you to close to keep you safe while he flew away from the blast radius of the lasers.

Upon reaching a safe distance he placed you down on the forest ground, as he tried to examine you over for any injury before his optics met your eyes in a staring contest. He thought you were scared of him, how he towered over you. But boi was he wrong.

When he had asked you for any injuries instead of replying you just stared up at him in awe.

Since you had gotten lost in the forest and had no idea where you were by now, he had agreed (albeit reluctantly) to take you back to the city. Once inside the cab of his alt-mode, you complimented how comfortable his seats were. He had just picked an alt-mode at random to help him get around this planet, never had he expected anyone to compliment him in any form. It felt...weird...in a good way.

Heh, this human was tolerable.

As you both reached the city, he opened his can door allowing you to step outside. Before he could drive off you stopped and asked him for his name, finding no harm and wanting to get going back to his work he quickly responded to your question.

"Ultra Magnus"

You smiled and nodded. "I'm Y/n L/n. Nice to meet you. Thanks for the lift and for saving me back there"

He revved his engine slightly as a sign of acknowledgement.

"Anyyyyways, I'll get going now. See ya around Mags." You lightly pat the top of his alt-mode's hood and go about your merry way leaving him behind to grumble out "Magnus not Mags" but you were already out of earshot.

Letting out another sigh he drove off to get back to his work of s̶t̶a̶l̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ watching over the others.

A few days later, he bumped into you again, quite literally.

You had heard of this amazing new cafè that had recently opened up, sooooooo you thought what better way to go check it out than to go there skateboarding. Grabbing your trusty skateboard off the shelf, you were enjoying yourself skating along the highway all the while listening to the music blasting through your headphones.

At one point when you tried to cross the road a fast moving vehicle suddenly pulled to a stop infront of you before it hit you. Removing the headphones from your ears you waited for the angry driver of the vehicle to step out and yell at you, only, no one came out. You thought you were off the hook until a sudden 'What were You THINKING?!' came roaring from the vehicle. About to make a run for it you suddenly remembered your new friend as you happily waved at him, completely neglecting how a minute ago you were about to be run over.

"Hiya Mags, how ya' doin?"

"It is ULTRA MAGNUS not MAGS!" Letting out a loud rev of his engine to provide emphasis on his anger at your reckless behaviour, he continued on yelling and nagging at you.

Later on he dropped you off at the cafè along with your skateboard stating he was preventing a road accident from happening due to someone's carelessness.

Weird as it was, he kept on meeting up with you at the strangest of places. When he met you while you were stuck on a tree after trying to save a cat, or when you almost drowned yourself by falling into the water while attempting to take a picture of yourself posing like a seagull on the edge of the local bridge. The list goes on and on.

At first it used to drive Ultra Magnus mad, hell it even annoyed him to some extent. How can someone be so reckless. But as time went on, he got over it after he came to understand that this was just how you were, these things just happened without you intending them to.

Aside from the usual..'incidents'..he found *coughcough* rescued *coughcough* you in.

You were pretty good company. How you sheepishly smiled and finger-gunned at him whenever he caught you in another 'incident'. How you used to have this sense of understanding, of..of empathy whenever he used to tell you of his relation with Optimus and how he wanted for the Matrix of Leadership to be with him instead of his brother. How you looked up to him in awe when he told you stories of his battles. How you laughed after making the silliest of puns, they were terrible of course, but he wouldn't tell you that, he'd rather see your rosy cheeks, you tumbling while clutching your stomach as you kept on laughing. He liked seeing you like that, hell he liked you.

Somewhere between all your reckless activities and calm moments of just relaxing in his alt-mode's cab. He had fallen for you.

He never made any moves cause duh, when you are trying to face off the Decepticons and the Predacons all the while having to watch over your friends, who would be able to.

Also, he figured it best to keep you away from it all. You were already so reckless, so prone to incidents, on top of that if the Predacons or worse the Decepticons caught a hold of you due to your connection with him, who knows what they'll be capable of doing to you. He couldn't let that happen to you.

So he buried his feelings and himself admist his work, defeat Megatron and his henchmen and get a hold of the Matrix from his brother. Besides, you were one of the only good things that happened to him in so long and he'd be damned if he let anything happen to you.

But with the luck he has, good things never stay with him for long, do they.

Never had he expected this to happen. No, he didn't want it to happen that's why he had worked extra hard in his missions, he even went as far as to stop spending too much time with you just he could keep you safe. So how..HOW....

He tried to keep himself together as those thoughts ran through his processor all the while cradling your lifeless body to his chasis.

It wasn't supposed to happen. How did it happen. How did he not know that you tried to follow him, how did he not notice you had been there.

You had been caught by one of the Decepticons to be used as a bait, to be used as a bargaining chip.

How could he let it happen...The tight grip of the Decepticon on you as you writhered in pain, only causing the grip on you to be tightened. He had frozen up on spot seeing you like that.

Magnus didn't see anything else but you, not the decepticon holding you with a gun aimed at him, not even the fellow Autobot who shot the Decepticon causing him to lose his balance and grip on you, allowing you to fall freely.

The only thing that snapped him out of his daze was your scream. He quickly rushed to get to you...Primus he never ran that quick before, but...it wasn't fast enough. He helplessly reached out for you, watching you fall and hearing you scream before it was all reduced to a small thud and crack of bones as the sounds of your screams stopped.

The moment your screams stopped, so did the world around him..and..so did his spark.

He fell to his knees before you as his servos hovered in the air above your unmoving, unresponsive body.

Finally he managed to hold you, and turned your head to face him.

Your eyes...the same eyes that held so much life in them, that always looked up to him in awe, now they were dull and lifeless. Your lips...your beautiful smile that used to warm his spark, your beautiful laughter...all gone and replaced with blood..YOUR blood.

He kept staring at you, hoping, WISHING that any moment now you would burst out laughing and tell him it was just a prank. That you would smile at him and this time look up at him with not just awe, but with the same amount of love that you used to before. The love he had seen but chosen to ignore so he could prevent seeing you like this.

But what does it matter, you still ended up like this. What an idiot he was. What A STUPID, SELFISH IDIOT HE WAS. He only cared about defeating his enemies, he only cared about getting that Matrix of Leadership. Admist all this...he lost you...How he would gladly give up anything, anything at all, be it the Matrix, be it himself, ANYTHING. Just so he could tell you how sorry he was for pushing you away. Just so he could tell you.."I..love y-you."....

○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○

He sighs as he gets hit with another feeling of nostalgia, before placing the wildflowers he had found on his way here, near your grave.

"It's over....We defeated Megatron." He paused as if waiting for you to respond.

"I didn't take the Matrix though...I don't think I even want it anymore, besides, Optimus deserves it anyway..."

"..We're leaving for Cybertron tomorrow...so I just thought..I just wanted to see you..one more time before I left...and..and...and wanted to apologize to you for pushing ypu away like that,...for not being able to protect you and for not being able to tell you how I felt.."

"..I'll always remember you and...I'll love you.. always..."

He kept staring at your grave as if trying to imprint a picture of it all in his memory banks before he finally transformers back into his alt-mode and makes his way back....

__________________________________________________________________________________

Sooooo yea...that was it for my first ever fanfic.

It's not that fancy or stuff anddddd I might probs have some grammatical or spelling errors, even dialogue errors.

But please do let me know how it went, I'm open to advices and suggestions, besides, a little constructive criticism never hurts ^_^.

Optimus Supreme TFA AU Part 2

for @lazyartist04  Part 1 here

Ratchet and Optimus have a father/son relationship. Ratchet was pissed about Omega’s body being used for an experiment, even more pissed to learn they are shoving a young academy bot’s spark into a large frame filled with slave and obeying coding all connected to him

After some time once Optimus’ spark filled to match it’s casing after the aid of the ASD’s injections, no one expected for him to wake out of stasis, but unable to transform, locked in alt mode, so Ratchet set him up with a holoform that matches his former self and together they don’t tell the others and they all assume they just got a new leader.

Prowl was suspicious from the start, he knew a holoform when he saw one, but couldn’t find out why or where the holoform was coming from, until after the bomb on Megatron went off, causing the holoform to flicker for a time, he confront’s Ratchet about it when Bee and Bulk are looking for their leader while the medic is focused on the ship to bring it out of stasis. after this, Prowl begins to understand Optimus more and helps him keep it a secret from Bee and Bulk

Bumblebee and Bulkhead found out after Sari found out, after using the key to fix the parts of the ship to stop the cons underwater, after too much, Prowl just told Optimus to drop the holoform and focus on shooting the cons, to which he did after some hesitation. Bee and Bulk are completely stunned and are given a short, “Optimus is the Orion, now don’t stop attacking!”

Bumblebee gets really excessive with all the questions for Optimus on what it’s like until ratchet and Prowl finally shut him up after explaining the slave coding, now he’s calmed down, but still thinks it’s very cool “Much better than any prime!”

Bulkhead is much more polite about the situation, but is curious none the less, but he likes to go to the ship to clean up the place, and made a promise to change the Orion’s paint job to match what Optimus wants, he really likes that, orange is not his color

Sari is trying to remove the code and get him out of his alt mode, but... it’s easier said than done, but at least it allows them for lots of bonding moments, Sari is like a little sister to him, and his sentinel coding agrees to let nothing happen to her.

Blackarachnia, oh dear, first she can’t poison him, then realizes her attacks do nothing, but after running an electric current though him and fizzling out his holoform does she suspect something, she changes her demands from “give me the key” to “Tell me what that was!” and he does tell. and.... she doesn’t believe him, not at first, not without proof, and when she has proof... well even she doesn’t even know what to do, she feels bad, but she can’t let this get in her way of her goals

Sentinel, Has no idea what happened, everything continues on as normal, until Bee and his big mouth spills to Magnus and Sentinel about Optimus, all the bots face palm, but Bee is too angry at them for letting Optimus fall under such torture. Magnus and Sentinel are surprised and don’t believe it until given proof, then... Sentinel was quiet, not a word came out of him, not even a smart remark, Magnus had to do everything in his power to not break something. They eventually left, originally wanting to take Optimus with them, but he refused to leave Earth unprotected, so they left him, with a full plan to get to the bottom of what happened, Sentinel in a way, is like a jerky older brother, who suddenly realized that his younger brother has been suffering for years without him knowing, and he wants to try to help

Below from discord with @moonlightdeer739 :

Moonlightdeer

I had the idea that, before the crew finds out their captain is their ship, Bulkhead accidentally misses a recoil of his wrecking ball, this is back when they were a repair crew, and it instead crashes into one of the 'Orions' landing gear, leaving a significant dent.

Across on the other side of the space bridge, Op ended up shouting in pain and clutching his pede, a significant dent suddenly in the side of it, Ratchet is the closest and when the others come to investigate, Ratch is already over-riding the holofoms base controls to make it look like he's sucessfully pulling he dent out.

NekoNoKami23

yep!

I love that

Moonlightdeer

Op and Ratch claim one of the boulders lying around came loose and took Op off guard, and when Bulkhead brings up that he may of mangled one of the Orion's landing gear, Op sighs and says he and Ratchet will fix it.

NekoNoKami23

I was thinking Prowl figuring it out after the bomb goes off on Megatron and Prowl is the only one to notice Op disappear before reappearing with a visible show of pain

Moonlightdeer

And a good bit of shrapnel in him that look like exit wounds instead of entrance wounds, almost like the bomb went off... inside him?

NekoNoKami23

all the usual stuff happens, but after they crash, the Orion goes into stasis, and when the team wakes up they realize that Optimus is missing, and Prowl confront Ratchet as Bee and Bulk go to find their boss

Moonlightdeer

"Optimus isn't missing. Is he Ratchet?"

NekoNoKami23

"No... and I think I can't lie to you anymore, He's in stasis...."

Moonlightdeer

Prowl looked to the stasis pods. "And given he's currently not in one of the pods, as we've already ascertained, he... he is the Orion?"

NekoNoKami23

Ratchet nodded, "Yeah... Optimus is the Orion... locked in alt mode and filled with bad code..."

Moonlightdeer

"Is that why he acts so... by the rules?"

NekoNoKami23

"and why he does whatever I say, yes, he will die to protect a single autobot, he's unable to care for himself"

Moonlightdeer

Prowl nodded, solemn. "So... he's and Omega Sentinel."

NekoNoKami23

"Yes, but.... not always..."

Moonlightdeer

"Not... always? What do you mean?"

NekoNoKami23

"I mean he used to be a plain academy bot forced into a giant slave frame, and used as a just in case weapon"

Moonlightdeer

"Oh... and then I'm guessing they locked him in his alt mode and he never even complained? Never resisted? And just went on his way with us when he was made into a repair ship..."

NekoNoKami23

"It's not like he can resist or complain, and he came with us because I'm here!"

Moonlightdeer

"So you're the one he's imprinted to?"

(When the code gets removed. Op: That... that was so fragged up.)

NekoNoKami23

(yep)

"Not like that was my choice either!"

Moonlightdeer

"Oh? How do you mean that?"

NekoNoKami23

"I mean it just happened, I was involuntarily the mentor for Omega Supreme, and then they use his body and throw a young bot's spark into, and suddenly I have to be mentor again, do you really think this is my fault!"

Moonlightdeer

Prowl backs up. "Oh... I'm sorry, I assumed that Optimus was another Omega Sentinel, not Supreme."

NekoNoKami23

"Yes... just... for now help me bring him back online... as the young bots handle what's going on on the surface, and keep this a secret.."

Moonlightdeer

Prowl nodded, and followed Ratchet to do just that.

(might add more later so keep an eye on this post)

Nox verse HCs: Genesis

*kicks down door* Who wants to learn more about that Illegit Sibling of Nox and Noctis I mentioned forever ago? No one? Well TOO BAD HAVE SOME HCS ABOUT HER.

...

-Her name is Genesis. Her mother named her that because it means “Beginning”, which is fitting considering she was starting a new life in a totally new world.

-Her full name is Nedala Kikuli Genesis. Or- Genesis of the Clan Kikuli of the Village of Nedala.

-For obvious reasons, she tends to shorten her name to just Genesis Nedala or just plain Genesis (Call her Jenny and she will smile as she kicks you into the water).

-Yes, her mom was a l’Cie from ff13.

-Very pretty. Takes after her mom more than Regis in looks, so for once we have a Lucis Caelum who does NOT have black hair. She has pale blue eyes and thickly wavy long hair that’s a fairly even mix of brown and white-caramel. Few believe her when she tells them its natural and not dyed but there you go.

-Very laidback kiddo. Rolls with just about everything because nothing is weird to her anymore. Smiles easily. Seems like a very sensible person (this is a lie, she is the first to happily yeet herself out a window if the situation calls for it, she just is really good at making up logical excuses for her Stunts after the fact). Has few rage buttons but if you hit one prepare to be mauled because once her temper goes there is no stopping her. Can come across as naive as she will accept almost any crazy theory or story as … not truth, but not a lie either until she sees evidence to the contrary. Has a disturbingly loose grasp on the concept of physics, time, and legality but hides it well.

-Being the kiddo of a l’Cie and an LC makes for … interesting things. Namely she’s got her mom’s Crystarium powers and Eidolon all blended and mixed in with her LC magic, so look out she can do all SORTS of things.

-In FF13 Crystarium/Role terms she’s a pretty even mix between Ravager, Saboteur, and Healer. She also makes a decent Synergist, but LC magic is more geared toward destruction so debuffs come to her easier than buffs.

-Her Eidolon is Fenrir. He’s a warrior looking dude whose “vehicle mode” is turning into a giant semi-mechanical wolf. They are best buds. He summoned himself to meet her when she was like- 3 so their “battle” consisted solely of Fenrir spawning and snarling down at her and 3 year old No Fear Genesis zapping him with a bit of magic static to make him stop and then petting his fur while calling him Fuzzy Good Boy. Fenrir, terrible, inhuman Summon that he is, melted into a 10-12 foot pile of happy doggy goo. This is his person now. His. Do not touch unless you want to face down a snarling wolf with huge claws and sword teeth and enough magic power to make an Astral back off.

-In terms of LC magic, she was DEFINITELY an elemency bby. First thing she ever figured out how to do was make ice under her hands or feet so she could happily slide everywhere. Because she has her mother’s Crystarium folded into LC elemency, she also immediately learned a low level wind spell so she could GO FASTER.

-Has Nox’s/Noctis’s habit of slipping into other dimensions cranked up to fifteen. First time was when she was seven. She was only in the other world for three hours but it was the start of a trend. At this point she has food/water/medicine/camping supplies in her armiger 24-7 and a go bag always either on her shoulder or in her hand for good measure (just in case she goes somewhere that makes it hard to use magic, which hasn’t happened yet but you never know, it could happen).

-Lost her right leg up to the knee at 14 while in another dimension, got a kick-aft prosthetic replacement while she was there as an apology gift. That world was one of the longest stays she’s ever done, clocking in at a year to the day of her slipping into it. That world is also where she picked up several odd habits such as-

-Super mechanic skills and a love of learning engineering and stuff. If she ever meets Cid these two are gonna be a match made in heaven (or its opposite, depending on who is watching).

-Talking to whatever machine, car, or electronic she was fixing like it’s a living thing and then blinking in surprise when anyone acts like her behavior is odd because of course she’s going to talk to them and be polite, how would you like it if someone went rooting through your innards without telling you why.

-Swearing using terms like “aft” “slagger” and “pit-spawned fragging glitched out spawn of a toaster and a scrapheap”.

-Ability to yell at people in mechanical sounding nonsense.

-Firm belief in aliens, but only if they can turn into cars, trucks, boats, and the occasional tank.

-Tends to hide her kick-aft prosthetic to avoid questions and Imperial greedy eyes that would want the tech. The thing can fold in and out of armiger without issue because it was designed with her magic in mind, so in her day to day stuff she wears a normal, boring one made by an Altissian medical company. At least her normal prosthetic is a pretty blue color.

-Picture the looks on a bad guy’s face when he thinks that Genesis is the “crippled weak link” of whatever group she’s in and she just- pops off her normal prosthetic with a smile, there’s a flash of magic and BOOM epic metal leg with fighting claws for toes and a little afterburner thing in the heel for extra kicking/jumping power.

-Doesn’t have any desire to meet Regis at first because he’s a king and she figures he won’t care/won’t take kindly to an illegitimate kid but then she hears about Nox and part of her goes “hmmmm”.

-Still holds off on meeting Regis for probably a few years because Dimensional Shenanigans keep her busy and she honestly forgets about it. Probably meets Nox and Noctis first (I am laughing as I picture her being in the same alt dimension as them and meeting up and befriending them there and then when they “go back to their home dimensions” she’s RIGHT THERE and she’s like “oh. Never wound up outside Altissia when I came back before, hi again little bros.” and Nox and Noctis are like “??????”). Ends up liking these little brothers of hers and following them to Insomnia on their request to meet Regis.

-I want her Shield to be someone from another dimension that she befriended and who had no one else so she was just like- “wanna come live in my world?” and they were like “Yes.”. Still not sure who it will be or what dimension they are from but … that’s what I want.

The Sims 4 Moschino Stuff - Early Access Build/Buy Review

Huge thank you to the EA Game Changer Program for providing me with the opportunity to play Moschino Stuff early!

Ever since I saw the trailer for Moschino Stuff, I knew the Build/Buy content was going to be the part of this pack that I was the most excited for and interested in and for the most part I absolutely love a lot of it. But, like CAS, Build/Buy is not without it’s issues.

As always, if you have any questions about the pack, feel free to send me an ask!

See a preview of all the new Build/Buy items here

👗The Buy

I pretty much love all of the Buy Mode objects. The couches come in some very cool patterns as well as solids, the funky pop art mirror is fun, and I love that the end table is much lower than most end tables we have so it sits nice and flush at the same height as the couches and coffee table.

But my favourite things are probably, as always, the decorative stuff. More specifically the LiBEARian (the books with the bear book ends, get it!), the Simsational Style Stack (the magazine pile) and the Amp Stack (they’re all in the pics above). Even though the Amp Stack is purely decorative, it looks very cool sitting next to a guitar and adds a lot of character to any musician’s house!

I also really like the Repurposed Gear Chest (the trunk with stickers on it) that’s essentially a coffee table and looks very cool and retro, and the Tastefully Empty Bookcase which... is not empty at all? lol I do wish the bookcase came in different heights and widths as well, but at least this time it’s a short one, unlike the bookcases that came with Seasons and StrangerVille that I love but never get to use because they’re too tall for short walls.

Something that’s bothered me pretty much since base game released is that there’s no consistent colour palette for all build/buy objects. I get that each pack has specific themes and there might be colours that fit that theme better than others but I would love to see a consistent palette used throughout every pack — say like black and white obviously, 5 different wood tones, 5 solid neutrals and 5 solid “standard” colours (blue, red, yellow etc) — and have every single item that gets added to the game made in those colours, then if a new pack has specific colours for it’s theme they can be added on top of the standard palette. I like the colour palette that was chosen for the items in this pack but I found it really hard to find anything from other packs that matched it. It bothers me so much that nothing ever matches from pack to pack, half the time objects in the same pack don’t even match! And even now that the 350 new swatches were added to base game doors... they still don’t match anything else!

Sorry, I know I’m ranting and this has very little to do with Moschino Stuff but it just really bothers me that nothing ever matches because whenever I build I spend hours trying to find a floor to match the trim around the bottom of the wall I’ve chosen, then none of the doors match the floor and trim so I have to change it all, then none of the windows match the doors, floor and trim, and on and on until I’ve completely forgotten what I originally wanted the build to look like!

I really like the new frames we got for photos too, and the fact that they can now be placed on tables BUT I’ve had a couple of issues with them. First of all, it’s not possible to turn the frames placed on tables using the alt key, so you can only turn them in 45 degree increments and I hate that. I like to have all my photo frames slightly askew at different angles and it bothers me that these ones can only be places either facing straight forwards or angled by 45 degrees.

The second issue I have with the frames is actually more of a technical one but I’m not entirely sure if it’s the frames themselves, the photos, or the photography skill; I haven’t been able to work that out yet. When I have a sim take photos using the new tripod and camera everything is fine, but the second I exit out of the photography UI my FPS drops drastically.

I thought it was just my computer being stupid at first, until other Game Changers started reporting the same issue. I suspect it might be the photos and frames — specifically the new collage frame — because as soon as I remove the frames from the lot, the FPS goes back to normal. My game normally runs at a steady 60 FPS at all times but as you can see here, it drops down to 8-12 whenever there are framed photos on the lot and shoots back up when I delete them.

NOTE: This was with my game 100% CC and Mod free.

All of the new photography gear is so cool too! The fact that most of the items (like the tripod, camera, and tape markers) can be picked up in your sims inventory is so handy; your sim can just grab their equipment and head out into the world to take photos of other sims, landscapes, pets, and themselves literally anywhere they can plop the tripod down! And the backdrops have some really cool backgrounds for you to take photos in front of... or maybe... some other... uses 😈

👗The Build

I think the thing most people were looking forward to in this pack were the beautiful windows and doors; I’m definitely one of those people lol They are definitely gorgeous but as seems to happen every single time we get new windows and doors, the selection is limit in many different ways.

Every single colourway for both the windows and the doors is either white, black, red, or some combination of those colours. There are no colourways that match any of the other colours used on the furniture for the set (like blue, pink and yellow) and absolutely zero wood or neutral tones.

There are also no other heights for both the door and window other than for the shortest wall height, which absolutely baffles me because they’re clearly a set made to be used in lofts and converted warehouse type builds... builds that are generally made with either the medium or tallest wall height. They also didn’t bother to make single tile versions of any of the windows and doors, or even a closed version for the smaller window!

But what’s even more baffling (at least to me) is the way the door was made. I literally spent a full 30 minutes just sitting here in front of my computer, staring at this door, trying to figure out what could possibly have been going through the head of whoever made it when they decided that not only would it be shorter on one side, therefore also shorter than the windows, but also that it wouldn’t take up the full two tiles it was allocated and therefore wouldn’t sit flush up against the windows it was made to go with!

I saw a tweet by one of the Gurus that basically said “It’s the right height on the outside, just flip it around” but... that still leaves you with one side shorter than the windows, it’s just now on the other side, and there’s still gaps at the side! Why you would go to all the trouble to make the windows fit beautifully together like that and then not make the door exactly the same height and width! It bothers me way more than it probably should but I just don’t understand!

On the plus side, there are some base game doors that fit in with the windows (kind of) that I will probably use instead of the Moschino door... at least until someone makes a build add-on for them anyway lol

👗The Verdict

Overall, while I have issues with some of the build/buy stuff, this is where this pack makes up for the lack of CAS stuff in my opinion and what would make me want to fork over the $10 for the pack. To be completely honest, I’d pay $10 just for the LiBEARian though 🤣

All thoughts and opinions expressed in this review are my own. I am not paid by EA to “hype” their games; I am given the opportunity to review their games early in exchange for an honest review.

Click here for my Create-A-Sim Review

Gameplay Review coming soon

Crossthicc AU - base roster!

The fleet was originally a meeting of several smaller groups that joined together for survival, hit it off well, and opted to remain together indefinitely. They met some other groups, and over time, added more and more, and have reproduced and brought in more people until they have hit their current size.

Note that with the use of longevity treatments, the crew is a lot older than they look; some of them, otherwise normal humans, may be hundreds of years old. The fleet itself may possibly be that old, too.

These original groups include:

A group of humans called the Neon Deathclaws, comprising a number of characters from Total Drama Island, reimagined as Vault Hunter-style mercenaries and treasure hunters from an obscure human world. Their leader, a team mom and fangirl called Sierra, is the wielder of the Gestat and the champion of the fleet as a whole. Her fellow mercs include: Lindsay (mega-busty friendly ditz who’s smarter than she lets on), Leshawna (Mom-Friend and emotional tank), Jasmine (wasteland survivalist who likes extreme conditions far too much), Courtney (founder of fleet logistics on the grounds that SOMEONE has to), Gwen (in a relationship with Courtney and doing really badly at not being amazed at their strange adventures), Crimson (actually IS good at not being perturbed by weirdness) and many others who are in less adventurous positions. Since TDI has so many characters, a lot of their positions are unclear; go ahead and ask me if you want clarification on where someone may or may not be.

Sierra herself is, in a sense, the ‘star’ of the fic, or at least a central fixture. She is responsible for how the fleet can exist in the first place, and her mysterious magical artifact and newfound powers allow them to do things like periodic FTL travel and create the superpowers that let them reshape themselves as they please. She is the ultimate mom-friend and overly excited to mass produce tons of babies with every conceivable form of sapient life; if a named character exists and has any interest in potentially having children, assume Sierra has a crush on them and, with her complete lack of restraint, already had a dozen children with them. She does not know what a chill is.

The Expedition Hive Explorers, incorporating several of the trolls from Homestuck. As trolls are considered caretakers of humans here, they hit it off well with the Neon Deathclaws, becoming fast friends. Led by Terezi Pyrope, who uses her mental powers and prophetic abilities to help guide them through the planes of magic when doing FTL jumps, and she has also managed to incorporate the powers of all other troll castes into her; rust telekinesis, bronze animal communion, yellow psionics, whatever it is limes do, jade vampire-ness, cerulean mind control, purple mind alteration and influences, and the sea dweller ability to breath underwater, with a combined physical power of all castes. She hopes to one day work out how to do this for all other trolls and make them all as powerful as her.

There is some evidence that Terezi and several of her friends (as well as Vriska Serket, a rival of hers that leads a pirate fleet) are incarnations of ancient gods embodying concepts essential to the universe, such as Time, Space, and so forth, with Terezi embodying Mind. By adventuring, they may find a way to fully reclaim their lost power and ascend to true godhood, and work out how this happened to them in the first place.

Other trolls in the group include: Karkat Vantas (Terezi’s sidekick, boytoy and dance battler), Equius Zahhak (engineer and professional Sensible Guy), Feferi Peixes (biotech enthusiast, spooky medic and founder of the fleet’s medical specialists), Nepeta Leijon (monster hunter and cute patoot), Konyyl Okimaw, Bronya Ursama, Chahut Maenad, and many other trolls, at least a hundred. Several ancient trolls originally hailing from the troll’s lost homeworld, Beforus, have since joined up, most notably the Disciple, Dolorosa and the Handmaid following adventures when they were met.

The Awakened Ancient Autobots. A group of Autobots who survived the destruction of their homeworld and the persecutions by the wicked Decepticon Empire, searching for the missing Optimus Prime and seeking to honor his dream of a just society where all are free to choose their own fate. Led mainly by Grimlock and Elita-1, in a ‘Grimlock is their champion, Elita-1 is their military icon’, but also including a number of other important figures. This includes several sub-teams, including the Dinobots (of them, Swoop, Sludge and Snarl are hyper thicc amazon fembots) are female here, the Technobots (children of the Dinobots, all fembots here), the Raptoricons (maybe?), the Torchbearers, and perhaps the Monsterbots, who are most likely fembots in their robot modes. Individual Transformers include Blackarachnia (the Beast Wars version, with emphasis on the science-y), Arcee (Prime continuity, with some IDW), Strongarm from RID2016, as well as a collection of minor characters retooled to fit this AU, as well as the Maximals from Beast Wars who appeared in the toyline but not the series proper, and generally fembots here as well.

With the use of special powers by studying ancient relics of religious significance to Cybertron, most of the fleet’s Autobots have been modified so they can adopt new alt forms on the fly, even maintaining a stock of up to seven different forms they can switch up freely, though it is physically stressful to do so. Not all of them choose to do so; for instance, Grimlock prefers his T-Rex mode and while he can transform into a monster truck, tank and bomber plane, he really hates that. Beastformers like him or the other Dinobots instead adopt additional beast forms or ‘inbetween’ humanoid beast forms. Sludge of the Dinobots, for instance, can transform into a ferocious Spinosaurus in addition to her native Apatosaurus mode, and goes by Scorn in this state.

The flipside of all that is that any given Transformer can turn into whatever vehicles are required by their friends.

The final group was originally a rock band led by the last free Diamond of the Gem homeworld; the Gems, a species of sapient stones that process magical energy and that can manifest this magic into female-presenting light bodies measuring more than dozens of feet tall, had a long-standing conflict with the Transformers of Cybertron, culminating in a massive war between the Decepticon Empire and Homeworld. When it ended, Homeworld had ceased to exist, all surviving Gems had scattered to the stars, and all the Diamonds were imprisoned as living ornaments upon the claws of the Decepticon’s Emperor of Destruction, Lord Megatron. All, that is, save the Diamond that had been made wrong: Pink Diamond.

She had already left her fellow matriarchs after growing weary of their suffocating control and, to her, appalling treatment of all life that was not themselves, becoming a wander among the stars along with those of her court that proved loyal to her, as well as defectors from other Diamond courts that believed in her vision. AFter the fall of Homeworld, they hid their nature as Gems, living many thousands of lives as aliens, and in one such life time, Pink Diamond, now calling herself Rose Quartz after the protectors of her court she so wanted to be rather than a living goddess, met a human musician named Greg Universe who inspired her to start up a musical band with her closest Gem friends, and she fell in love with him, eventually having a child with him and surviving the process by gestating a new Gem within herself, though at the cost of effectively maiming her own Gem. Thanks to the power of the Gestat, her Gem has been restored, and all Gems with her have been granted the ability to gestate Gems by simply devouring mineral deposits, and the Gem population has exploded with this gift.

Even small Gems stand nearly thirty feet tall, and Rose’s true size is unknown; it is speculated that as a Diamond, she may actually be many hundreds of feet tall, or even planet sized, but she typically suppresses her power. Gems can fuse into more powerful composite forms, growing ever larger, and Rose can fuse with her Crystal Gems to become the mighty Obsidian, who along with the combiner form of the Dinobots, Volcanicus, are the heaviest hitters of the fleet. They’re also friendly rivals to boot. Apart from those, Rose has her loyal Gems (Ruby and Sapphire, who are NOT perma-fused here most of the time, Pearl, Bismuth, Jasper, Amethyst, LApis Lazuli, and Peridot), as well as a wide number of other Gems that either came with her or have gathered to her cause over the years. Additionally, Rose’s human lover Greg is quasi-immortal thanks to her efforts, and her now grown up son Steven has brought the family of his wife Connie (a statuesque, hyper curvy warrior in the likes of Rose herself) into their band, include Connie’s mother Priyanka.

Together, these four groups and their representatives - Sierra, Terezi, Grimlock, and Rose Quartz - founded a small interstellar caravan of all their respective families and friends, traveling through space in hopes of finding a new homeland for them all. They’ve made many friends over the centuries since, with more people being added to the fleet or being absorbed into it, and most of the newcomers being born into the fleet thanks to the many perpetually gravid mother-champions.

Smash Bros characters will definitely come into things eventually but I’m currently imagining them as their own entirely separate fleet but they’re closely allied and fully integrated with one another. Of those, Palutena, Rosalina, Samus Aran, Kumatora (as an Earthbound character, anyway) and some others would be involved. As would be Urbosa and the Gerudo as a whole.

Battleborn would probably be in this somewhere but I haven’t quite worked them out as yet? Perhaps not as crew members, but definitely people they know/meet/run into, as well as setting relevant events.

Some characters from different series who have likely joined the fleet on their own or do not have a definite origin in mind yet (or I like them but don’t have much information about their series proper) include: Cattleya (Queen’s Blade), Tifa Lockhart and Lulu (Final Fantasy), Princess Bubblegum (Adventure Time), Katara, Toph Bei Fong, Mai, and Korra (Avatar The LAst Airbender and Legend of Korra), Symmetra, Pharah, Bastion, Orisa, Zenyatta, Mei Ling Zhou and many Omnics (Overwatch), Hinata Hyuga, Mei Terumi and Konan (Naruto), Tsuyu, Mina Ashido and lots of other Quirky heroes (BNHA).

There are many species represented within the fleet, descended from individual who joined up and had scores of children. While by no means comprehensive, here is a small list of a number of species to join up in notable numbers: Asari, Krogan, Geth, Quarians and Turians, from the more well-established worlds.

Orcs, Eldar and other space-faring versions of common fantasy races, and serving as a combination of various series’ takes on those beings. Orcs, for instance, are a combination of Warhammer 40k’s Orks with the more benign aspects of Warcraft’s orcs. The Eldar are mainly a mixture of the Eldar from 40k and with the general attitude of Tolkien’s elves (with bustlines proportionate to their magical powers). Sci-fi versions of Tauren, Draenei and goblins (hyper buxom cowgirls, various levels of curvy, and hyper shortstacks respectively) are also present.

Pokemon and Digimon are present in huge numbers, taking the ‘fully intelligent sapient beings’ take on them. The Digimon mainly live in cyberspace in the ship databanks, running the automated systems, and can jack into robotic bodies to interface with the physical world, otherwise being like AI friends; rarely, they can manifest directly in times of great need. Pokemon are more like beings of elemental power given form, and can willingly diminish their power in order to transform into more human-like shapes, ranging from bipedal anthro-morphs to cute monster humans. These are invariably hyper curvy, to boot, and something similar applies to the avatars the Digimon can project.

From Final Fantasy’s various races, big contenders for numerous-ness in here include, among others, the Viera and Bangaa.

Autobots of all known alt mode variations, Gems of any caste, and trolls from a wide variety of blood colors all go without saying. Of note, due to the egalitarian culture of the fleet, traditional caste attitudes typical of Gems or trolls are not present, and somewhat unthinkable to boot, and as a result have little attachment to their people’s history; to them, the fleet are their people.

And many, MANY other aliens of all shapes and sizes, but mostly ‘hourglass’ shapes at that.

One final note is the God Squad, an informal name for a number of deities that have for some reason taken an interest in the fleet’s affairs, and no one is clear why; they seem to know that Terezi and her family were once gods but not the circumstances of how they fell, and they don’t often intervene on a daily basis, but can be summoned. Apparently this involves beating some kind of strange accord they have with malicious demonic forces. The most important of them is Lucoa from Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid, but hewing closer to her mythological counterpart, especially in looking more like an ancient Aztec woman; she is a spokesgoddess, of sorts, for the rest of the deities. There is also Palutena, the goddess of light who may have arranged meetings between the fleet and her own chosen champions in the Smash fleet as well for her own reasons. Onyx Prime, of the Cybertronian pantheon, is also present and may have encouraged the others to assist the fleet thanks to his strange visions. There are several other gods, but their presence is currently shrouded and of great mystery to the fleet.

PARAGON CAUSE

Paragon Cause is a songwriting, production and musical duo based in Ottawa. Members Marnie (originally from Southern Ontario) and Kirwan (hailing from Cape Breton) bring their love of Hip-hop, jazz piano, 80's synthesizers and 50's guitars to create music that is mysterious yet familiar. We caught up and discussed influences, the differences between Ottawa and their hometowns, and some of their favourite live shows.

VITALS

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ParagonCause/

Web: https://www.paragoncause.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ParagonCause

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/paragoncauseadvanced/

Latest Release:   Escape (Album, May 2018)

Upcoming shows: Sat, August 4 - Paragon Cause, Lethargicon. The Seahorse, Halifax NS Sat, August 11 - Paragon Cause and more TBD, Pressed, Ottawa ON Sat, August 18 -  Paragon Cause, O'Connels Pub, Ottawa ON  

SA: How did Paragon Cause come together? Kirwan: Well, I wish we had some story about meeting after a performance in a dark lounge after Marnie was singing jazz, but that would be a lie. I stopped playing music for a while after playing with some bands back in Halifax. I decided to start recording and writing again and spent a year or two making weird techno and house music, but I found it a bit unsatisfying. Marnie completed a music degree was trying to decide how to start playing live again. So, both of us put profiles up on a website called Bandmix, basically the on-line dating version of finding band members.

 Both of us met with other people, played with others but it never worked. I know for me, my music was always a bit too esoteric for most people. I would sometimes show up for a practice and just sit there and not play, the music was too…normal. Finally, I reached out to Marnie after seeing a video of her singing and playing piano. There was something in her voice that struck me. Although, we are lucky we ended up playing together. It’s a bit odd for some random online person asking you to come over to a stranger’s house to play tunes in their basement! She came over, we jammed on the Beatles Norwegian Wood. I knew within 1 minute, this was it. It was insane how we connected. The last time I was even close to that was playing with Rose Cousins and Steve Gates back in Halifax, but this was on another level. Right then and there, we started writing and learning songs. It was special.

SA: What bands or musicians would you cite as the biggest influences on your sound? Marnie: For me, it would be classical music, Mamma’s and the Papa’s and definitely the Beatles. Where I grew up, music like that was hard to find. Remind me in our next interview, and I’ll tell you more (laughs).  Kirwan: It’s a bit complicated I suppose, I basically want to be as cool as Tribe Called Quest or the Digible Planets, but I know that’s impossible. So, I draw from a lot of my favorite bands and musicians I think are special. The Cure, The Raveonettes, Janes Addition, The Suuns, Peter Green’s Fleewood Mac, Howling Wolf and of course Portishead. I think deep down, I want to do what Portishead did, create something different, unique. But in the end, we really just try to do what we love. We know ‘our’ music and sound when we play it.

SA: Thus far in your career, what has been your biggest success? Kirwan: To be honest, completing an album. When we first met, we said, “let’s make an album and print it on vinyl and give it to our friends and family.” That’s what we are doing. As for Marnie, I think one of her’s would be winning 1st in the Quebec School Choir as the choir director. Although, when we released the song Sunny, it was played during the traffic report at 4pm on CBC Ottawa All in a Day. I’m not sure you can get much bigger than that.

SA: On the other hand, what is the biggest challenge you have faced, and how have you dealt with it? PC: Hands down,  a tie between navigating the new method of music distribution in an online and social media ruled age as well as learning to let go of a song and move on. With respect to navigating the system, trying to get your music heard is hard. No one ever writes you back when you write them. However, we are lucky, we both come from a place in which we can invest the time, learn and figure out how to distribute music without the help of a label. We both have formal music training and thus writing music comes pretty easy, but that leads us to the next issue, we are SUPER picky about things. We probably write about 10 songs a week, but maybe pick 1 or 2 a month we like. For example, the song Next Time and Fear took over a year to finish. I was never happy with them, we have about 20 versions for each song, some with completely different arrangements, live drums, synths, etc, etc.  So in the end, navigating the system and letting go and moving on are tied.

SA: How do you guys approach the song-writing process? Kirwan: With some good craft beer, guitar pedals and plans to order pizza with pineapple. I think we have three ways. Marnie usually will write a song on piano, a complete arrangement from start to finish. She has all the melody, harmony everything done and usually recorded with a running commentary recorded on her phone.

For me, I start with a riff or a beat and a rhythm. Then, we usually take it to the other person. For me, when she shows up with her song, I say, ‘ok let’s record it, regardless what you think of it.” She always thinks her music is not good enough, but I’m usually blown away by it. Then, we usually record the piano or synth and vocals in one take together.

Both Fear and Next Time were recorded in one take, vocals and piano. Then, I usually spend some time thinking about it, the feel, the emotion and the melody. She and I spend about 30 hours with the song, playing along, writing guitar parts and drum beats. I’ll often alter it a bit by changing the mode of the song, which is akin to changing key, but different. Next Time was a very happy sounding song at first, but by adding the bassline, it gave it a very dark feel. To us, that is what is amazing about music, the key didn’t change but the method and way you play the chords did and that completely changed the song.

When I bring a song to her, I play it and she kind of goes into a trance. She will sing melodies and then quickly write words. Often, I can’t even snap her out of it! She just goes into another world and writes the entire melody…Consequence and Away from Me were like that. Away from Me was originally called “Acoustic Song” as I wrote it all on an acoustic Guitar, start to finish and she wrote the lyrics and melody and made it something special.

After that, I usually spend weeks producing, mixing and editing. We like to write, record, then play live. It gives us an idea what works and what doesn’t. I then take the final version to her for it to get constructively criticized. In the end, we work extremely well together. Did I mention we also enjoy craft beer during our sessions? We also have a great desk to work at.

Finally, we jam. We can play songs and improvise for hours. There have been times, were we start playing and stop an hour later and just look at each other, speechless. We are off in another world. Although once, we recorded a 20 minute song that was our best ever. It was recorded on webcam, but I forgot to turn the microphone on, so we only have a video, no sound and we can’t remember the song.

SA: Both of you are transplants to the National Capital region. What are your thoughts on the Ottawa music scene? Kirwan: Well, for me it’s very different than Halifax. I think I can speak for both of us when I say, we are still getting used to it. The people we met from bands like The Pale Light, Sol the Violinist and superstar guitarist Lee Jessom have been extremely helpful and friendly. I think in Ottawa however, it’s harder to get involved. Back in Halifax, everyone talked, everyone knew each other all the bands would be out supporting other bands. We are still trying to find that here.

We still play at open mics around the city. We love doing that. We are both strong believers in supporting song writers, musicians and performers regardless of their skill level. We have no shame in showing up at Irene’s or O’Connels Open Mic and play some Fleetwood Mac, Nancy Sinatra, Amy Winehouse and some Raveonettes. We even play some Portishead. The open mic scene is super friendly in Ottawa. But, the music scene so far has been challenging. We should have played more metal, the metal and punk scene seems to be amazing here. Halifax was very folk oriented and alt/indie style so it was a bit easier to get involved. But who knows, perhaps we just need to write better songs.

SA: If you guys could choose a 'dream tour' with currently active artists, who would you be sharing the stage with night after night? Kirwan: The Raveonettes, The Suuns and Geoff Barrow’s new band Beak>. Although, Portishead and The Cure would be dreams come true. Marnie: Tough question, but the answer would be to sing in Les Miserables.

SA: If you could narrow it down to one album that has been influential on your life, or even your musical path, which would it be and why? Kirwan: Super hard, so many, but I have to say, The Low End Theory by Tribe Called Quest. When that album was released, It made me appreciate writing, jazz, hip-hop, rhythm and why the feel of music is something that sets good music apart from bad music. That album with songs like Vibes and Stuff just puts you in a place, from the first noises you hear. It changed my life as a kid and made me obsessed with hip-hop. Number 2 is a tie between Pornography by the Cure and Ritual de lo Habitual by Jane’s Addiction. Marnie: Les Miserables.

SA: Have you been to any concerts recently, in Ottawa or elsewhere, that have been particular inspiring? Kirwan: For sure, a few years ago I saw The Cure life in a small theatre in New York. It was called Reflections Tour. They played their first three Albums, start to finish then 2 more sets up rare and old tunes with the original line up, including Lol Tolhurst. It was mind blowing. Robert Smith is a God, people need to realize how good he is. I also saw Guru (of Gangstarr fame) and I saw one of James Browns last concerts. Polica and The Suuns are great live as well. Oh, I saw Portishead and The Breeders, during their last tours, amazing and beyond inspiring. Marnie: Seeing LCD Soundsystem last year at Bluesfest was insane. My god they are good. 

SA: What can we expect from Paragon Cause moving forwards in 2018? Our best wishes for your continued success! Kirwan: Well, you will see some surprises I hope. We are writing and recording our next album. We also want to do more soundtracks for podcasts and film. We currently do some of the music for a big Canadian Podcast called The Night Time Podcast. We love just playing ambient stuff and making sounds. We also want a cello player and perhaps some sort of percussionist. Also, a French Horn would be nice on our next album.

How a Horse Ruined My Liver

An incredible true story!

The Players: Me My best friend Amanda, sitting with her horse below My perfect pony Mocha.  Age: 23.  Size: 13.3 hands (135 cm, or 4′7″), about 700 lb, the little spotted guy in the background here Amanda’s off the track Thoroughbred, Regal.  Age: 13.  Size: 17 hands (172 cm, 5′8″) about 1300 lb, the horse laying down

The Scene: A trail in the middle of the woods that runs along a reservoir in scenic Stafford, Connecticut.

Regal had been out of work for a while due to an injury.  One sunny morning in late June, Amanda and I decide that it’s time to get him back out on the trail.  Amanda has some anxiety, and I’m the more experienced rider, so we swap horses for this particular ride.  This was not unusual, and I know Regal almost as well as I know my own horses.  

The horses are having a wonderful time as we ride first about a mile down the road to the beginning of the trail, then along the trail itself.  The footing is good, the horses are trotting along well, everything is glorious.  We come to the place where the trail began to run along the reservoir, which is to our left and very low despite rain we had gotten a few days earlier.  There is a large pond to the right of the trail, which has two shallow (3-4” deep, about 3 feet wide) ditches dug across to allow any overflow from the pond to end up in the reservoir.

So, the thing about Regal is, he’s a lovely, athletic sweet horse, but he has about 3 brain cells and they argue.  Frequently.  So when he comes to the first drainage ditch - that he could step over easily - he freezes, convinced that there were crocodiles hiding within.  Now, remember, horses have poor depth perception, but can see about 300 degrees around them.  This means Regal can see the possibly-shark-filled pond to his right, and the possibly-crocodile-filled ditch in front of him, but can’t see the very low reservoir to his left because the water is about 7-8 feet below the grade of the trail.  It just looks like safe space to him.  So he plants his front feet at the ditch, and swivels his butt towards the drop so he can keep his eye on the water.  

At this point I realize that this ginormous horse is about 6” from a sizable drop into water of unknown depth, and I ask him to move his butt over.  He says no.  I ask again, and he flips me the hoof, convinced I’m trying to get him murdered by water-dwelling predators.

At Amanda’s request Mocha, my sensible man, walks calmly through the ditch to prove that there were no crocodiles.  Regal doesn’t believe him.  Mocha walks back through the ditch.  Regal still doesn’t believe him.  Mocha walks through a third time, and Amanda rides perhaps ten yards further down the trail, but Regal still will not follow, even though he follows Mocha everywhere.

Finally, I’m starting to get nervous, as he keeps tossing his head and inching backwards.  I haul off and kick him as hard as I could, just needing him to move far enough over that I could jump off of him safely.  He takes one step to the right, and I get ready to leap off, but before I can he swings his big butt back and his hind feet slip off the trail.

Now, if you ever want to know fear, ride a 1300 lb horse backwards off a sheer drop of unknown height.  Thankfully, I’ve ridden so many crazy horses that the second his butt drops below his shoulder, I automatically throw myself up his neck and grab mane, looking straight up between his ears.  I’m not sure at this point if he’s going to end up sliding all the way down and ending up on all fours in the reservoir, or if his back feet are going to hit bottom soon, or if he’s going to end up flipping over backwards (in which case, bye bye me).  Finally, I feel his hind feet hit bottom.  

Amanda, up on the trail, can only see Regal’s muzzle, his front toes clinging desperately to the trail, and the top of my helmet.  Regal is nearly vertical, and let me remind you, he’s a seriously enormous horse.  I sit there on him for a second, trying to figure out what to do next when almost any movement on my part will almost certainly cause him to fall over backwards and kill us both.  Then I felt him gather his haunches as much as he could without losing his grip on the trail, and launch us both upwards.

He ended up sprawled on his belly on the trail, me still sitting on him, his hind legs dangling off the drop.  Before I can get off, he pulls his right hind leg up onto the trail and uses it to launch us forward, where we end up - you guessed it - in the pond on the other side.

So now, I’m on a down horse in a couple feet of water and mud, and because his three brain cells are now in full-on panic mode, he can’t figure out to lift his head out of the water and he starts to drown.  I get off of him, get my feet stuck in the mud, and fall on my ass, while he starts thrashing, trying to get his head above water.  He succeeds, and ends up swimming out into the pond, but not before he kicked me half a dozen times while I was sitting in the water, unable to  get out of the way.

I struggle my way out of the pond, and Amanda calls for Regal a couple of times before he turns around and swims back and we get him out of the pond.  At this point, the doctor part of my brain kicks in and I assess myself and the horse.  He’s holding up his left hind leg, which has a huge deep scrape down the inside of the knee (stifle) joint, but the far more serious issue is he has torn the skin of his left front cannon bone and peeled it down towards his foot.  It’s called a degloving injury, because it looks like the skin is a glove being removed.

I have been kicked in the thigh, but though it hurts quite a bit the bone isn’t broken.  My helmet was shattered from when he kicked me in the head (message: always wear a helmet, kids).  But the thing I’m really concerned about is that my radius - the thicker and shorter of the two bones in my forearm - is jutting about half an inch out from where it should be.  The skin isn’t damaged, thankfully, but I can’t move or feel my left hand.

In my best possible “I’m a doctor and know what I’m talking about” voice I tell Amanda, who is about to go into hysterics over Regal’s leg, to get back on Mocha and ride home as fast as she can and have the barn owners get the trailer hooked as I’m not sure how far Regal can walk and I think my arm is broken.  She takes off, and I begin the long, slow process of getting Regal the mile or so to the road.  

Now, I can’t drive myself to the hospital and don’t want an ambulance, and my husband is 2 hours away, so I sit at the barn and wait until the vet gets  there and assesses Regal.  He takes one look at me and ordered me to get someone to drive me, which is how about an hour or so later I’m getting my arm assessed at the emergency room.  

My elbow is basically fixed in a flexed position and I can’t rotate my wrist or hand, so they order x-rays of that plus my shoulder, which it turns out had two massive bruises over the collar bone and the upper arm where I had also been kicked and hadn’t realized it.  The very nice young radiology technician is trying to get my arm in the right position, but I can’t rotate my hand the way he wants it, so he grabs my wrist to help me.  One loud click later, suddenly I can feel my hand and lo and behold, my elbow straightens.  I meet the poor young man’s terrified eyes as he realizes he just reduced my dislocated elbow by mistake, he excuses himself, and runs down the hallway, presumably to either vomit or tell a doctor, or both.  I really wish I was around when he told his family that story that night.

The final tally of my injuries is: I tore the labrum and shredded the joint capsule in my shoulder, and crushed the ulnar nerve in the same arm.  After several months of unsuccessful physical therapy, I have the shoulder repaired.  That goes well, and I rehab fine, but my left hand is still numb a lot of the time.  So, since I need feeling in that hand in order to do my job well, I have another surgery to have my ulnar nerved moved out from under the scar tissue from the dislocation, so it now runs along the inside of my forearm.

Now, given the title of this, you’re probably wondering how any of this has anything to do with my liver.  Well, about a month after my elbow surgery, I start having profound fatigue and joint pain and swelling.  I go to the doctor, thinking I have Lyme or something, and she runs a bunch of blood tests.  My liver values are off the charts.  One value in particular, the ALT, is nearly twenty times the normal value.  So they run more tests, try some treatment, keep running tests.  It keeps being elevated, anywhere from 10 to 20 times normal.  Finally, I have my liver biopsied, and I have a very rare form of autoimmune disease.  The most common trigger?  Inhalant anesthesia, which I had now had twice to repair the damage done in that 30 second catastrophe.  

So that is how a horse ruined my liver.

Eugenesis, Part One, Scene Five: Papa’s Got A New Set of Wheels

Death’s Head makes a return to the story, with his sexy, midlife-crisis-worthy new ride, courtesy of his Hybridian employers. They were surprised to see he was alive, seeing as- thanks to time-travel nonsense- he’d been assumed dead for the last four years.

He’s headed for Aquaria, where the novel first started, to find who killed our dive team, all to the tune of ten billion shanix- that’s space money, for anyone who isn’t familiar with the term. He gets to the water planet, and is immediately attacked.

BACK ON EARTH, Ratchet’s taking a gander at the Decepticon medical bay, and needless to say, he’s less than impressed with the slapdash farce he’s presented with. He gets lost in the sauce for a minute thinking about how awesome his own medi-bay is, so much so that he has to be called back to the present by Hound. Trailbreaker finds the cold storage chamber, and cracks it open to find their lost ‘bots. Ratchet finds a plus-one, and wakes Centurion up- the man-made Transformer who was last seen exploding over the Thames twenty years prior.

Centurion spits out a string of binary- which translates to absolutely nothing, trust me, I checked- and asks what the hell’s going on. There’s no time for exposition, though, because we still need to find our bio-signatures. They walk like ten feet down the hall and find the what they’re looking for, peeking into the stasis pods to find three ‘bots, all sporting Decepticon insignias. Curious.

I’ve got a bad feeling about those bubbles.

So, we’ve got three ‘Cons who were left to rust for unknown reasons. Nobody really wants to let them out, but it’d probably be a good idea to figure out why they’re still here. The boys find a terminal and start downloading what’s left of the files, only to set off a cluster bomb that’ll detonate in T-minus three minutes. They high-tail it outta there, briefly turning into a Scooby-Doo chase sequence, then jump all their alt-modes off a cliff and land outside the fortress.

The bomb doesn’t go off.

Hound, being the smart cookie that he is, managed to slow down the computer terminal’s chronometer, allowing them more time to escape. Great! However, meddling with the terminal also set loose the Decepticons, three triad jets who shoot off into the sky. Not so great. Trailbreaker’s pretty injured, so they don’t even entertain the idea of pursuing, instead heading back to their shuttle.

The bomb goes off.

BACK ON AQUARIA, Death’s Head is getting lit up- guided missiles wreck his sweet ride, forcing him to hit the water in the sea-pod attached to the bottom. R.I.P. Bitchin’ Space Camaro, 2012-2012. He briefly wonders if he’s going to make it out of this mission alive, but then is distracted by more important matters, like the fact that the ocean is made of nitric acid, something most mechanical beings wouldn’t be able to survive. Death’s Head is not most mechanical beings, by his own admission.

Nitric acid is also known as aqua fortis, which means “strong water” in Latin. Language is fun.

The pod goes into the abyss, and is met by hundreds of metallic creatures, who instantly go for Death’s Head. He breaks out and gets away just in time to see the pod be devoured.

Now, because our dear peacekeeper is made of metal, he doesn’t float, and therefore cannot swim. He walks around the seabed for hours before hitching a ride on an errant submarine, which takes him to some sort of underwater docking station. Mysteries!

BACK AT AUTOBOT CITY, Jazz has seen better days. His head’s missing. At least, most of it is; he’s been reduced to a brain on a rope and a lower jaw. Those triad jet ‘Cons made their way over to the city, just as Wheeljack had turned off the security systems for repairs. Wheeljack, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were a double agent. Outside, it’s begun to rain, signaling bad times ahead.

Heh. Ahead.

Sorry, Jazz.

Our search-and-retrieve team is back, having just missed all the fun.

Not sure how one would do that, but okay.

The triad shot Jazz in the face and stole a shuttle. It’s about time we found out who these flying fucks are, and what their whole deal is.

MEANWHILE, ON CYBERTRON, Nightbeat’s doing his thing. There’s nothing out of place, or even all that interesting in the missing Longtooth’s room, save for the horror that is a Pretender shell being left open, unblinking and unfeeling as a mannequin, waiting to be filled by a metal body. That’s normal, though.

Doubleheader’s really upset about his friend being missing, and Nightbeat doesn’t have anything to say that could comfort the poor guy, because he’s misplaced his compassion. They leave, turning out the lights, and completely missing the glow-in-the-dark figure-eight burned into the floor. I’m sure they’ll find it later.

MEANWHILE, ON THE STOLEN AUTOBOT SHIP, the triad is zipping through hyperspace, which is just like regular space, but in photo-negative, and therefore strange and dangerous. Our Decepticons know nothing, not even their own names. All that resides in their minds is the need to be somewhere- Aquaria- and a vague sense of betrayal.

BACK ON AQUARIA, Death’s Head gets blasted through a sewer system and tries to figure out just where the hell he is. He works open a vent with his fingernails, that he apparently has, and starts climbing ladders.

Don’t worry, Death’s Head, god is with you in this dark time.

He enters a corridor, finding written language, but not one he can understand- an impressive feat, seeing as he knows several thousand of them.

Oh my fuck, they’re space Satanists.

He finds a room filled with glowing circles on the floor. Now, where did we just see some of those?

He spends ages just wandering around trying to find another living soul- literal miles are covered before he finds just who lives in this giant underwater structure.

It’s Quintessons.

Thousands of them.

And they’re getting ready for something big, from the looks of things.

OH SHIT.

OH

SHIT

rambling;

i have nothing good to post, so i thought it might be fun to compile some answers to various ffxiv- and rp-related memes and questionnaires i’ve done on my private accounts! please enjoy my screaming.

8. Is there a character that embodies your good traits, or traits you wish you had? Several characters? Which ones and what traits?

i wish i was handsome and suave like all my characters thanks

13. What’s something you’ve never thought about your character?

a certain someone recently decided to remind me that francel's house has no bathroom... and i had honestly never considered, in two whole years of playing him, where he goes to pee?

"do you mean poop" francel is a delicate maiden i will not consider this

(we figure there’s probably an outhouse... somewhere...)

3. What’s something that surprises you about your canon?

Wiltswys: You think me cold? Well, fie on what you think! I wanted something better than tilling salty fields and spilling small fry out the nets, and occasionally taking a passing sailor into my bed for more o' the same!

LISTEN THIS IS THE MOST VULGAR LINE IN THE GAME I SWEAR TO GOD

i have done this quest at least... 4 or 5 times now and it never fails to make me scream. and every time i do it i have to zoom in on her and look at her face because she is a really cute roe girl, so i wonder what her taste in sailors is...

19. Give me an appearance-related headcanon of your choice.

LAUGHS OK hmm what have i never said before...

i have definitely mentioned that i don’t think francel likes his appearance very much — he especially wishes he had lighter-colored eyes like stephanivien and aurvael...

i personally want to think that chlodebaimt looked very different from francel BUT, although i have never datamined the necrose knight (i really should), a friend of mine took screenshots and his eyes at least look like francel's eyes

...but they might very well have just used a generic house haillenarte knight model for that, so who knows what chlodebaimt looked like?

i also like to think that baurendouin (francel's father) persists in the belief that his youngest son will do great things because he at least superficially resembles driancoin de haillenarte (the haillenarte founder you see in the haldrath flashback scene). i mean, i doubt portraits of driancoin survived or anything, given the nondescript statues of thordan's knights, but i’m sure comments about him did?

"he was fair of face and fair of hair" idfk some shit like that

5. What do you hate about your canon?

i am always, ALWAYS so tired of hearing people complain about how “no one ever” treats the wol like they’re “a normal person” ah, yes no one no one ever has treated you nicely never mind the fact that people regularly apologize for turning to you in their hours of need, and for asking you to kill things, and you usually just dismiss their applogy no one!!! has ever!! been nice!! to the wol!! i know the entire arc of my francel writing career has been bitching about similar things but at least i find new ways to do it

ok wait i have to vent more about how people still persist in the NO ONE WAS NICE TO THE WOL BUT HAURCHEFAAANT!!!!! delusion like tataru fucking made you clothes recently IS THAT NOT THE ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF LOVE? YOU'VE FINALLY BEEN REWARDED WITH SOMETHING PHYSICAL AND TANGIBLE!! STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW YOU DON’T HAVE FRIENDS!!

24. What’s a song that reminds you of your character?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1B7VKiJhU_s “Dear Jack,” by Jack’s Mannequin.

lately, i’ve been listening to this... i don't like every part of this song, but lyrically, it is such a perfect francel song

dear jack, i write you as a friend dear jack, i write for fear the end is coming soon to you it's not so clear it's clear to me it's clear as glass

dear jack, wherever you are, hold tight wherever he is, shine light right there be strong i dare

i had songs for you i had all your music written out the words came when i heard you screaming i had plans for you until the plans fell through now there is no turning back, my dear jack

11. Something you like to look at.

i have complicated feelings about haurchefant these days, but sometimes i go and look at this mug and cry about his handwriting

like from a lore perspective i know he can't be writing in english because they write in eorzean but until then, my friend...

14. When writing for specific characters, is there anything you have to do to get in the specific mindset?

yes! but it depends on the character. for ramza... i either read shakespeare (for real — i have lifted quotes wholesale from hamlet and the tempest) and/or listen to "rather be" by clean bandit? seriously, that is my most strong ramza association... which is weird because the song and the game are like 20 years apart? or i listen to the FFT ost...

for francel i have a whole playlist, but most importantly i either go on twitter and look at wolchefant fanart or read bad wolchefant fanfic on ao3... (don’t judge me; it keeps the bitterness alive)

18. Is there anything you really wish you could do that you feel is outside your current ability? A concept that you wish you could pull off but are uncertain about?

UMMM... hmmmmmmm...

i dont know... i don’t really think any plots are outside of my current ability, but i admire my friends for being so consistent and on the ball with their dignified prose? i can be dignified too, but at some point i'll crash and start writing intensely silly tags

i would like to do more plots where francel is a badass for whatever reason, but that’s just wish fulfillment

17. Which character is the easiest to write? Why do you think that is?

francel is the easiest to write because he has the ugliest emotions

ramza is the hardest because he is always so virtuous

everyone else has varying levels of self control, but with francel i can usually succumb to base impulse reactions. i like his unguarded nature...

6. When writing a character, do you find it easier to work on their external or internal ticks first? oh, internal, definitely. i think my tags suffer from the fact that i often don’t describe what my characters are doing or what is around them? just... just assume on my behalf lmao.... so IF FRANCEL IS CAUGHT UP IN INTERNAL TL;DR there's a 90% chance he's doing that kicked-puppy stare at the floor

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you? XIV, hard mode: no Haurchefant/WoL.

LMAO THAT HARD MODE...

xiv's fandom has rarely "ruined" pairings for me, as in "i liked them before but i hate them now solely because of fandom"... that said, i think i kind of liked the idea of zephirin and aymeric as a rivalry ship, but i hate when fandom takes the "oMG ZEPH RAPED AYMERIC WHEN HE WAS HELD CAPTIVE" route...

i think this perception of zephirin as this horrible awful evil man comes from the fact that the information on the ward happened after the game was released, so... in the span of time between "zephirin killed haurchefant" and "wait actually zephirin is a virtuous man," people formed their opinions, you know?

but it's still really annoying, and to some degree the misconception persists...

i was also okay with guydelot and sanson at first, but i’m a little annoyed by them now, too... it’s not for any particular reason — i just think the fandom is annoying in the "THEY'RE SOOO MARRIED!! EVEN THE OTHER QUEST NPCS SAY THEY'RE LIKE A MARRIED COUPLE!! THEY’RE SO CANON!!!" way and i’m like Please Shut Up. that said, i guess it’s mostly jealousy because none of my pairings are ever canon, but whatever...

so i guess i'm going with zephirin/aymeric, guydelot/sanson... and oh btw like. urianger/moenbryda to a degree? i remember when the wind-up moenbryda item came out and the english item description was like "you don't want to know what urianger did to this" or something like that, like, i just took it as — like urianger probably dressed it up in a little maid outfit and had it serve him tea or something equally otaku-like?

but the entire fandom was like OMG HE JERKED OFF TO IT OR USED IT AS A SEX DOLL OR SOMETHING and i was like ... okay. like if that's how you're determined to see it, fine, but fandom always takes the worst possible interpretation of something i swear to god

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

LAUGHS WELL I GUESS MY USUAL TIRADE: i don't think of haurchefant as the perfect cinnamon roll angel and actually he annoys me a little...

my friend just finished running coerthas quests on her balmung alt and like... even she commented on how brusque and condescending he seems to francel? and she has no reason to be tainted by my perception of him, it's just... it’s just that he is brusque and condescending.

back when i liked haurchefant/francel, i told myself that it was just how he acted in the heat of the moment and i was sure he was gentler later... but now we’ve seen so much of haurchefant that from the way he treats francel it really feels more to me like francel was just a friend of convenience. i don’t know. i’m bitter. maybe i’m just bitter because it’s easier to cope that way.

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

um... well, i think everyone in the ffxiv fandom also agrees that the fandom is annoying...

something i sometimes worry about, but which is not exclusive to ffxiv, is like... people who rp wind up with such a different impression of things than people who just play the game? 

i'm not judging either side on this but... i have rp friends, and i observe the rp community on tumblr/balmung, and i also have friends that are just gamers? and you know, like. sometimes rpers get carried away and invent all these narratives, like i know some tumblr rpers had a bunch of "plots" where a murder mystery happened in ishgard and it was all full of like noble OCs and intrigue or something?

but my gamer friends will sometimes be like, “ishgard is so boring.” so they... see it differently? you wind up viewing the game differently based on what you do in it.

there's also the divide between the english version of the game and the rest of the world, which i bitch about a lot but

just as an example, in english the nobles of ishgard are kind of broadly characterized as being unintelligent and shallow and foppish, whereas the other versions of the game really take a much more neutral approach?

or well i can really only speak for the japanese, but in general the german and french versions of the game are loyal to the japanese, however, 2.0 content was often based on the english...

so, for example, 2.0 content was EN->FR, but ever since 3.0 most of the patches have been JP->EN/DE/FR

however, the EN version continues to make changes, whereas DE and FR don't really change many things!

so i worry a lot about the different perceptions people have of the game, and what that means, like, when i write fanfic...

does my interpretation of coerthas align with other peoples' interpretations of coerthas? probably not. that’s something that’s deeply distressing, as a writer and as someone who prefers to have control, but i don’t know...

17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen...

STARES INTO THE VOID it's it's too late for any of this

2 years ago i would have told you without hesitation that i wanted haurchefant to be alive and for him and francel to have eloped together, but now i just...

i've learned to play with the cards i've been dealt

2018 Alfa Romeo Stelvio First Test: Italian for Bandwidth

Let’s be honest: when you heard Alfa Romeo was building an SUV, you expected it to be a one-trick cavallino, no? Then, when you saw it, you were convinced it would be just a jacked-up Giulia, not a Jeep. You were wrong. We all were.

Alfa Romeo makes sports cars. Always has. It wasn’t unreasonable, then, to assume such a company hopping on the SUV bandwagon would build the sports car of SUVs, the Alfa Romeo of SUVs. You’re right. They did. But they also built something much more.

Let’s start with the stats, though, because they’re impressive. The Stelvio Ti Sport we tested came equipped with a heavily turbocharged 2.0-liter four-cylinder banging out 280 hp and 306 lb-ft of torque. It spins a ZF eight-speed automatic, which in turn drives all four wheels. It’s the same powertrain as an all-wheel-drive Giulia sedan.

For a four-cylinder premium SUV, it’s pretty potent. Witness the track results: 5.4 seconds to 60 mph followed by a standing quarter-mile trap in 14.0 seconds at 97.3 mph. Going the other way, it stops from 60 mph in 127 feet. Turning, it’ll pull 0.82 average g on the skidpad and post a 26.9-second figure-eight lap at 0.67 average g.

Less than 6 seconds to 60 mph used to be V-6 territory, but not anymore. The Stelvio is quicker than every other four-cylinder SUV in its class, even the twin-charged XC60 T6 (and tied with the twin-charged and electrified T8). The GLC300, the X3 xDrive 28i, the Q5—they’re all slower. In fact, the Stelvio is even quicker than some of the V-6 competition such as the XT5, the RDX, and the RX 350 F-Sport. Turbocharging your six won’t save you, either, unless you’re serious about it. The Stelvio is quicker than the Levante Q4 and the MKX EcoBoost.

No, if you want to stoplight drag a Stelvio, you’d better pony up for the extra boost. An F-Pace S just barely takes the Stelvio, and an X3 xDrive 35i is looking at a photo finish. You need a Macan S, a Levante SQ4, an SQ5, or a GLC43 AMG if you want to show the four-banger Alfa your taillights. Good luck getting any of those at the Stelvio’s $55,420 as-tested price. Its $44,990 starting price is even harder to touch.

It’s right quick in a straight line, but you expected that. It’s also quick in a corner, more so than the numbers suggest. Going purely by the skidpad and figure-eight numbers, you’d rightly infer that all the SUVs in this class are pretty evenly matched in a controlled environment. On the street, though, the Stelvio leaves them all for dead.

  Here’s where that assumption about it being a lifted Giulia is correct. The Stelvio scythes through a canyon better than some legitimate sport sedans. It flows around curves like massage oil over bare flesh. The steering responds immediately and precisely as the body leans in like a star running back changing direction. Both the steering and the car feel light and delicate, dancing down the road with the slightest effort. The transmission is always in the right gear, and the engine is surprisingly linear in response. After every corner, you marvel at how fast the Stelvio was able to take it and resolved to take the next one even faster.

Where the Stelvio really blows your mind, though, is in boring, everyday driving. Given the power and the handling, you and I both expected it to be jerky at low speeds and ride like a track toy. It does neither of those things. Left in “N” mode, the Stelvio is more than happy to loaf gently through town. You have to try to make it spill your coffee. It’s as easy to drive in traffic or on a long highway commute as any luxury SUV.

What’s more, that sports car suspension doesn’t assault your kidneys and teeth. The Stelvio rides shockingly well over the worst pavement when you consider how well it goes around a corner. The ride is firm—firmer than a luxury car and similar to a sport sedan but purposefully so. You know what you’re getting in return, and it’s a beautiful bargain the Alfa engineers have struck between ride and handling demands.

Seeing as most SUVs just drive around town these days—that’s all well and good—but it’s got all-wheel drive, doesn’t it? It does, and it’s not just for show. We took the Stelvio down dirt roads and through deep sand, the latter of which also approximates deep snow and mud. Natural mode got it through well enough, and All-weather mode performed even better. Still, we’re mystified by the total inability to turn the traction and stability control off. Given how drastically the computer cut the throttle and how slow we got in the deep stuff, we’d like the option to overrule when the conditions demand it. And really, this is an Alfa Romeo. We ought to be able to turn it off.

There are some other weak points to talk about, as well. The foremost takes the form of electrical gremlins. At one point, the Stelvio displayed warning messages about nonfunctioning turn signals and taillights. Both were working fine. At another, the sunroof stopped working. Throughout the test, pushing the cruise control button would prompt a message that adaptive cruise control was temporarily unavailable, but then it would activate if you pushed the button again. For a brand with a history of electrical issues, this is not promising.

We were likewise unimpressed with the automatic engine stop/start system, which took a worryingly long time to restart the engine once you released the brake and stepped on the gas.

Also drawing the ire of some editors was the lack of feedback from the brake-by-wire brake pedal and the cheap-feeling knobs for the infotainment system. “They spent the entire metal budget for the interior on the paddle shifters,” editor in chief Ed Loh quipped, “which is great, except they probably don’t get used often.” The infotainment system itself received mixed reviews, with praise for its seamless integration into the dash and grumbles about its lack of sophistication versus the best in the class. Similarly, the release handles in the cargo area for the rear seats seem handy, but editors questioned their usefulness when the seats don’t automatically fold down and have to be pushed, either by climbing into the cargo area or going around the side. There’s also some low-end turbo lag when you’re accelerating gently from stoplight to stoplight.

In that way, the Stelvio is everything we’ve come to expect from an Italian car. It’s shamelessly good-looking and drives with a passion normally reserved for expensive sports cars, but it’s got quirks you’re going to have to be willing to put up with. As always, they seem to be the price of the passion, even in 2017 when we probably should’ve moved past such things. Companies such as Porsche have long proved you can do both, though they don’t do it at this price. You’ll have to decide if these trades are fair. I’ll let international bureau chief Angus MacKenzie summarize the rest:

“Refined, sporty, the Stelvio is a 21st century gran turismo that can take you along all roads in all weathers, at speed and in comfort.”

2018 Alfa Romeo Stelvio Q4 (Ti Sport AWD) BASE PRICE $44,990 PRICE AS TESTED $55,240 VEHICLE LAYOUT Front-engine, AWD, 5-pass, 4-door SUV ENGINE 2.0L/280-hp/306-lb-ft turbo SOHC 16-valve I-4 TRANSMISSION 8-speed automatic CURB WEIGHT (F/R DIST) 4,018 lb (51/49%) WHEELBASE 111.0 in LENGTH x WIDTH x HEIGHT 184.6 x 74.9 x 66.0 in 0-60 MPH 5.4 sec QUARTER MILE 14.0 sec @ 97.3 mph BRAKING, 60-0 MPH 127 ft LATERAL ACCELERATION 0.82 g (avg) MT FIGURE EIGHT 26.9 sec @ 0.67 g (avg) REAL MPG, CITY/HWY/COMB 17.9/28.8/21.6 mpg EPA CITY/HWY/COMB FUEL ECON 22/28/24 mpg ENERGY CONS, CITY/HWY 153/120 kW-hrs/100 miles CO2 EMISSIONS, COMB 0.80 lb/mile

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minecraft pc

Minecraft cheats & more for PC (PC)

Cheats

Unlockables

Hints

Easter Eggs

Glitches

Guides

Achievements

Get the updated and latest Minecraft cheats, unlockables, codes, hints, Easter eggs, glitches, tricks, tips, hacks, downloads, achievements, guides, FAQs, walkthroughs, and more for PC (PC). AllCheatsCodes.com has all the codes you need to win every game you play!

Use the links above or scroll down to see all the PC cheats we have available for Minecraft.

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Genre: Strategy, Persistent World Real-Time Developer: Unknown Publisher: Mojang ESRB Rating: Everyone Release Date: May 17, 2009

Hints

Tnt Cannon

This is for V 1.6.2. Supplies: any build block, a bucket of water, redstone, redstone repeater, lever or button, a stone slab of any type (half), and TNT. How to build: make a 3 by 9 you shape. The open end will be were the TNT goes. Now make an overhang over the unopened end. But make sure there nothing behind it. Then put water under the overhang. If you did this correctly it shouldn’t go past the 9 block on the open end. After that, put the half slab between the open 9th blocks. Place your lever/button on the over hang. Then wire the right side with red stone until there’s one space left. Then wire redstone until 2 spaces are left on the end of the left side. Put 1 more level of blocks in the two empty spaces. Put redstone on top of those too. Then put a tnt over the half slab. Then on the left side replace for redstone space in a row with red stone repeaters. Set the repeaters to 2 clicks or less. Then put tnt in all of the rest of the spaces until there’s none left. This doesn’t count under the over hang. Hit the button or lever and the cannon should fire a tnt off. TIP: stand back when you test it for the first time.

Easy Diamond Find

First go on creative, make a portal to the nether, then in the nether dig down till you hit bedrock, then make another nether portal, and it will take you to the realmworld underground and you can find diamonds, coal, etc.

Unlimited Water

To get unlimited water, dig a straight line (IT MUST BE STRAIGHT!). Dig three holes in the straight line and put water buckets on the sides. The hole in the middle will refill forever!

Make Coal From Wood

If you put normal wood and white wood in your furnace and burn it, you get charcoal out. This can be used like normal coal.

How To Duplicate Items Such As Enchanted Stuff (Easy)

If you have a mouse, press the scroll button while the mouse on the screen is on the item. Then you get a duplicated item. Only works on CREATIVE MODE.

How To Find Diamonds In The Newest Version (1.2.5)

First you will need at least 7 stone pickaxes, some food, (not including cake, since you have to place it down then eat it), a shovel is optinal, and an iron pick to mine the diamond. If you will mine for a long time, take 2 extra iron picks in case your stone picks break. Taking some armor is recommended, as is a weapon and a stack of ladders. Now, first you will dig the block that is right in front of you, the go inside of that lil’ hole. Then, dig the block that you were first satnding on. Then dig down one more block for each one but don’t stand on the block that you are mining. Repeat this until you arrive at level 12 (also place your ladders as you go down. ) the you dig a 1 block space on every side. *except for the block that has the poening above it* then, make a shaft on the front, left and right of the space that you have created. You will need to make these shafts really long. After you’re done that, simply make smaller shafts on the left and right every four blocks. What I mean by that is count 1, 2, 3, then make another shaft on the fourth block. Now, once you get as far as you want in the shaft, dig 4 blocks to the right. Then, on the fourth block, start digging towards the first shaft that you made until you find yourself back at the shaft. Then you just go to the opposite side of the shaft and make another shaft. Repeat this, and you will be going in sort of a zig zag thing. But, after you start digging on the shaft on the opposite side, dig 4 blocks to the left instead of the right so you go further down the shaft instead of in circles. After doing this for a while, you should find some diamonds. Happy mining!

Get An Effective Start

To make a effective start push, you need to know how to dupe (see Rhinomeat’sdupe glitch) First, toggle difficulty to Peaceful. I know that it may seem nooby, but this toggles on the “creative”.Now, get 19 logs. Put 3 logs into crafting, and make 12 planks, craft 4 to a workbench and on workbench, make a chest.Put the chest down and start duping the logs until you have two stacks of 64 of those logs. Easy as pie, now make a nice little set of tools, and get somecobblestone, dupe it again and build a nicer little stone house. Now do something better on it, and then you have a shelter.

Keyboard Shortcuts

F5 – Toggle the view F1 – While the third person moves the view to the front of your character / While first person makes the tool/hand/etc dissapear, but NOT the landscape F2 – Takes a screenshot of the current view.

Video Tutorial (part 1)

Unofficial Trailer (Video)

Cheats

Make Duplicate Items (Single-Player-Mode Only)

1: Place items that you want to duplicate in a chest. 2: Close the chest window and select “Save and quit to title”. 3: Go back into your world and take the objects from the chest. 4: Close the chest window and exit the game using Alt + F4. 5: Open the game again and you will have your items in your inventory and in the chest.

Minecraft Keyboard Command List

ascend – Moves you to the next platform above your position atlantis – Toggles atlantis mode on/off biome – Tells you what biome you are currently in bind COMMANDPARAMS – Binds a command to a keyboard button. bindid ARGS – Binds a command to a keyboard key using the key id bring [ENTITY] – Brings the specified entity to you. cannon [STRENGTH] – Shoots a primed TNT in the direction you are pointing. chest – Allow access of chests clear – Clears the console clearwater – Toggles water clarity on/off clone [QUANTITY] – Clones the NPC which you are looking at config – Allows you to set the global configuration file as your current configuration confuse [DISTANCE] – Confuses nearby mobs confusesuicide – ? cyclepainting – Cycles through the painting which you are pointing at damage – Turns player damage on/off defuse [all] – Defuses any TNT nearby which has been hit, drops 1 tnt in its place descend – Moves you to the next platform below your position destroy [all] – Destroys the current item difficulty – Sets the difficulty to the specified level (0-3) drops – Turns item drops on/off, having them turned off will make the game run a little bit faster, and also stop your inventory from filling. dropstore – This command transfers everything in your inventory into a chest that it creates next to you. duplicate [all] – Duplicates and drops the currently selected item stack explode [SIZE] – Sets off an explosion in your current location. exterminate [SIZE] – KillNPC with style, kills the NPC you are pointing at extinguish|ext [all] – Puts out all nearby fire (or all fire) falldamage – Turns fall damage on/off firedamage – Turns fire damage on/off flammable [CATCH] [SPREAD] – Sets the specified block at the flammability level fly [SPEED] – Allows you to turn flying mode on/off, speed specified your flying speed freeze – Freezes mobs so that they cannot move or attack you goto – Goto a waypoint grow [all] – Grows all saplings/wheat on the map. heal – Heals a player the specified number of points health – Sets the health of a player to pre-defined figures help [COMMAND] – Gives general help when COMMAND isn’t specified, gives specific help when COMMAND is specified. Same as /h helmet [ITEM] [QTY] [DAMAGE] – Specifies the helmet the player wears home – Teleport to spawn point infiniteitems – Toggles infinite items on/off instantkill – Instantly kills any NPC you hit instantmine – Turns instant mining on/off instantplant [grow] – Instantly plants saplings into the ground, if grow is specified the tree will when instantly grow item [QUANTITY] [DAMAGE] – Gives player item, if quantity isn’t specified maximum amount of that item. Same as /give and /i itemdamage – Turn item damage on/off. This means you will never have to repair an item again itemname – Use this command to discover the itemname and ID of your currently selected item. itemstack [QUANTITY] – Gives the player the specified quantity of maximum item stacks of the item. jump – Moves you from where you are to where your mouse is pointing. Note: This command is buggy and may put you in the block you move to. keepitems – Turn this on and you will keep your items when you die. kill – Kills the current player killall – Kills all of the specified mob type killnpc [all|monster|animal] – Kills all living creatures nearby. light – Turns permanent lighting on and off listwaypoints – Lists all waypoints. Same as /l longerlegs – Makes your legs longer so you can walk up 1 block high macro – Runs a macro maxstack [ITEMID|ITEMNAME|all] [STACKSIZE] – Configures the maximum stack size of that item between 1 and 64. mobdamage – Mobs cannot give you damage msg – This commands adds a message to the console. music [play|pause|skip|stop|VOLUME] – Requests a music track to be played, there is a limitation of at MAX 2 tracks per day. Set the volume by specifying VOLUME. noclip – Turns no clip on/off. output – This just toggles SPC messages on/off, useful for macros/scripts. phelp [COMMAND] – Provides help for plugins platform – Puts a glass square under your feet plugin – Lists all loaded plugins and also allows you to enable/disable plugins pos – Gives current player position. Same as /p reach – Sets the player reach distance. refill [all] – Re-stocks your items in your inventory to the maximum ammount rem – Removes the specified waypoint removedrops [all] – This command removes item drops from the world. rename – Allows you rename a command to a new name repair [all] – Repairs the currently selected item to full health reset – Resets the player settings reskin – Reskins the NPC which you are pointing at to the specified skin return – Moves the player to the last position before teleport ride – Allows you to ride any NPC which you point at sc – Added scripting support (more information coming soon) search – Allows you to search for items using a name set – Mark a waypoint on the world setjump [JUMP|reset] – Sets the height that you jump. Note: Turns fall damage off if the jump is configured to move than 1. setspawn [ ] – Set the current position as the spawn point, if X Y Z are specified sets that position as spawn point setspeed [SPEED|reset] – Sets the speed that the player moves skin – Change your players skin to ANY minecraft player slippery [SLIPPERYNESS] – Makes the specified block slippery spawn [QTY] – Allows you to spawn an individual creature. spawnportal – Spawns a portal nearby the player spawnstack – Spawns the specified creature a few blocks away from your current position (use “/spawn list” to get a list of creature names and codes). superheat [all] – Turns items which are furnace-able into their furnaced form superpunch [DISTANCE|reset] – Hit that NPC with a punch like no other tele – Teleport to X Y Z coordinates. Same as /t time [set|get|day|night [minute|hour|day [TIME]]] – Set and get the time within minecraft. timeschedule > – Sets a period of time (HH:MM format), this will make minecraft always within this time. unbind – Unbinds the specified key from a command. unbindid – Unbinds a command from a keyboard key using the key id useportal – Instantly transfers you to the nether, use it again to go back. waterdamage – Turns water damage on/off weather – Toggles weather on/off world – Allows you to explicitly, have control over your world. world load – Loads the specified FILE, this allows you to play ANY save on your computer, not just World1-5, and can have any name world save – Explicitly saves your game then returns to it world seed [SEED] – Allows you to see and change the seed of the map, so it will generate custom terrain world new [FILENAME] [SEED] – Creates a new map at the specified location world exit – Lets you exit a game without saving (perfect from when a creeper blows something up) world list – Lists all the saves which you can load from “.minecraft/saves” world backup – Allows you to backup your current world into .minecraft/backup

Make A Backup Of Your Minecraft World

You can save a backup of your entire minecraft world and settings by making a copy of the “save” folder on your PC (or MAC). The default location on windows is: C:UsersYOUR-WINDOWS-ACCOUNTAppDataRoaming.minecraft (Note that because the directory starts with a period, it is “hidden”, so your folder options must be set to allow you to view hidden directories.)

On MACs, the default location is: /Users/USERNAME/Library/Application Support/minecraft

Then, once there, you just need to make a copy of the “saves” folder.

Unlockables

Currently we have no unlockables for Minecraft yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Easter eggs

Metroid Easter Egg

You just need to put a pumpkin in the helmet section of your armor. Your HUD will turn into the HUD of the galactic bounty hunter Samus Aran from Metroid.

Glitches

Currently we have no glitches for Minecraft yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Guides

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Achievements

Currently we have no achievements or trophies for Minecraft yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.