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angellesword · 3 years

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MAGIC SHOP | JJK (04)

Description: You and Jungkook were best friends who were in love with each other. What would happen when Soojin, your half sister who you’re trying to impress, told you she’s in love with Jungkook too?

Alternatively:

“Would you believe me if I said that I was scared of everything too?”

Genre: childhood best friends to lovers, family drama, angst, fluff, idiots to lovers, pining, slice of life au.

Pairing: Architect!Jungkook x Architect!Reader

Word Count: 3k

SERIES: CHAPTER 3 | CHAPTER 5

Song for this chapter: I started writing right after watching Kook’s live 😭 my heart can’t handle his cuteness please 😭😭 so yeah enjoy his cover of At My Worst while reading this update. ty.

Warnings: violence, child trauma, infidelity.

"Yes," your heart cracked. "I will be happy if you date my sister."

Jungkook didn't say anything. He just scraped his tongue against his teeth, blinking dumbly at you.

You swallowed hard.

His reaction was frightening. Jungkook never looked at you using his dead eyes. His stare was normally full of adoration.

You wondered if this was how he was going to look at you when he started to date Soojin.

Could you handle it?

Your heart was barely surviving now that Jungkook turned away from you—like he couldn't tolerate your face, like it was driving him insane.

He walked away and tears fell down your cheeks.

It hurt.

You wanted to call him, to tell him you didn't mean what you said. But it wasn't necessary.

Jungkook looked back even though you didn't say anything.

He watched as fat tears rolled down your cheeks.

He gasped, eyes turning wide.

He made his way towards you.

"Too fucking bad," and then he engulfed you into a very tight hug. "Because it doesn't make me happy. I don't want to date your sister..."

You bit your bottom lip, tears were still filling your eyes. Jungkook could feel it soaking his suit. He released himself from the hug just so he could cup your face and wipe your tears away.

"I can't do it," he shook his head. He couldn't do two things. First, he looked back because he realized he couldn't walk away from you. Second: "I can't date Soojin. She's not you..."

Jungkook caressed your cheeks once more.

"Did you hear me? She's not you, okay? She doesn't even have to give me time to think because I already know what I want, and it's not her. Never her..."

You didn't know what to say so you only did what you think would best express your feelings.

You kissed him on the mouth.

Everything be damned. For a moment you didn't want to think about the consequences of your action. It's just you, Jungkook, the moon, and the stars.

He moved his lips, deepening the kiss, silently telling you that he wanted this too, that just like you, he was done pretending like his heart wasn't going to burst whenever you were around.

You completed each other. Broken or whole, you knew you needed him.

He needed you too.

"Just you, baby..." He pulled away from the kiss, but he pressed his lips on your forehead. "My tiger..."

You were still dazed because of the sudden turn of events. You expected this night to end with you alone in your bed; however, life was full of surprises.

Right now, you were inside an unfamiliar car, but with a familiar body next to yours. Jungkook wrapped his arms around your shoulders as he instructed the uber driver where to go.

He didn't care if he needed to pay double if it meant he got to take you to his home.

You ended up in Jungkook's bed that night. You didn't do anything aside from cuddling. Your best friend was warm and you were cold.

You enjoyed trailing feathery kisses along his jawline.

He was ticklish though.

"Hmm," Jungkook chuckled, craning his neck so your lips landed on the base of his throat.

"Big, bad Kookie is ticklish, huh?" You teased.

He pouted his lips, defending himself.

"I'm not a bad boy!" It truly surprised you how he could always snatch your heart when he acted like a baby boy. God. He was so precious.

"You are! Don't you remember threatening your father and my parents?" You wrapped your arms around him while he tucked your head under his chin.

Both of you reminisced about what happened seventeen years ago.

You just turned nine years old that time. As usual, your mother insisted that you should have a big party. Your father agreed even though he was one hundred percent sure that he couldn't attend.

You and his legitimate daughter were born on the same year and same day. Of course Taemin would want to celebrate Soojin's natal day more. It was why he never attended yours.

You were only nine, but you were starting to understand that your father wouldn't be available on your special day so you didn't really expect much. You weren't as clingy as you were when you were seven years old.

You still didn't know that Taemin had another family. You just knew that he was busy at work. However, this belief had been shattered when your mother realized that enough is enough.

She couldn't share Taemin anymore. She was fed up. He never gave you and your mother enough attention. She didn't understand why he couldn't be at your party just this once.

It was a beautiful day. Your mother decided to celebrate your ninth year of being alive in your mansion's garden. The place was decorated to perfection. There were decors inspired by different Disney films, there were also colorful balloons, and delicious foods.

Your mother didn't invite a lot of people because she didn't have many friends. Besides, you told her that you only wanted to invite Jungkook and his father. You liked uncle Jong-in since he was kind to you. He usually drove you and Jungkook home after school. He even did things your father was supposed to do in the first place.

Uncle Taemin would buy you toys, get your report card in school, and teach you things only fathers could do.

Jong-in didn't disappoint you. He was early at your party too. He helped decorate the place with Jungkook.

Their efforts were in vain though. You didn't get to celebrate your birthday. What was the point? Your father wasn't around and your mother was intoxicated because of both drugs and alcohol.

"Fuck you, asshole! I'm going to ruin your family! My daughter doesn't deserve this shit!" Your mother screamed, eyes bloodshot.

Taemin had an impeccable timing. He arrived at your house five minutes after your mother decided that the party was over.

You waited three hours for Taemin. You and your mother were miserable while he was having the time of his life being the best dad for Soojin.

"Hey," Jong-in lightly grabbed your mother's hand, pulling her close so he could shield Taemin from her violence. "Calm down. We can fix this without hurting anyone..."

She couldn't be stopped though. Taemin's presence brought the worst out of her. Your mother started destroying everything she saw.

She ripped the paper decors Jong-in and Jungkook spent time making. She also popped the balloons and broke the plates.

All Taemin could do was avoid the flying things towards his direction.

"Stop it! You're crazy! Your daughter might hear you!" Taemin groaned, looking around in case you were here. He wasn't a savage. He knew you were too young to understand what was happening.

Taemin was trying to protect you.

But your mother couldn't care less. She voiced it out.

"I don't care! Maybe she should finally know the truth!" She squirmed against Jong-in's hold. She wanted to attack Taemin. She would never understand why Jong-in's stopping her from getting back at the asshole who hurt her deeply.

Fuck their friendship.

"She should know that you're a piece of shit!" Your mother started screaming your name.

You were inside the house with Jungkook. The latter's father told you to get inside and never come out unless he told you so.

"Maybe we should just stay here..." Jungkook cooed, holding your hand gently so he could stop you from going to the garden.

You could hear your mother's scream. She was desperately calling your name.

Fear surged through you, aware that you couldn't just ignore her. What if she was hurting? You didn't know what your father might do to her. You had heard them argue before even though you were locked up in your room. Their fight was always messy. Taemin would tell you to just cover your ears and sing.

What if he told you to do this so that he could cover whatever pain he was causing to your mother?

"No. I need to see. My mother needs me, Kook." Nine year-old you said, rushing towards the garden.

Jungkook followed you.

Your mother stopped shouting your name, but she hadn't calmed down at all. She was still struggling to get away from Jong-in's hold.

"Stay here please." Jungkook begged, holding your hand once again. The two of you were hiding in the bushes.

You did stay, too stunned to move. You weren't sure how to react. Why was Uncle Jong-in holding your mother like that? Most importantly, why did she look like a zombie? You could barely recognize your own mother. Her face was so pale, but her eyes were so red.

"Let's stop pretending like we're a happy family!" Tears cascaded down your mother's cheeks, trying to reach for a plate so she could throw it at Taemin.

She didn't have enough energy to do it. Admittedly, she wasn't aggressive anymore. In fact she looked exhausted. Too broken to function. "Because we're not your real family. I'm just your mistress and you don't treat our daughter right. She doesn't matter to you. Just go back to your real family—"

You didn't get to hear the rest of your mother's words because Jungkook was covering your ears and blocking your sight. He stood in front of you, smiling gently like his grin could fucking break you.

"Let's go..." You watched his lips dance.

You didn't argue, letting him drag you out of that suffocating place. You were numb, not dumb. You were nine but you knew what a mistress meant.

You understood now.

You understood why your father wasn't always available. You were only an option, someone he could pick up and drop whenever he wanted to.

Wait. Were you even an option? Perhaps you were not. Perhaps you were just a mistake, someone who ruined his perfect life.

"Tiger," Jungkook blurted out, halting your train of thoughts.

You blinked. He brought you to the garage.

You still didn't move. You just watched Jungkook do all things for you despite the fact that he was shaking.

He was scared. Not for himself, but for you. The screaming frightened him. The look in your mother's face made him tremble. He never saw and heard something so violent his whole life.

He couldn't even remember the last time his father got mad at him. Jong-in was the kind of father who never raised his voice.

He was always so calm.

Jungkook wondered if your mother ever hurt you. How many times did she hit you? Screamed at you? Throw things at you?

Has it always been like this for you? Was your mother always so violent? Was she only going to stop screaming and breaking things when she didn't have energy?

No! Jungkook shook his head, refusing to entertain his negative thoughts any longer. He was shuddering just by the thought of you getting hurt.

"I'm gonna to keep you safe, okay?" Jungkook was striving to stay calm. He planned to get you away from your abusive and lying parents.

Jungkook spotted your bike. He pulled you closer to it, helping you put on the bicycle helmet and then fastening its strap.

"Come," He urged you to sit on the crossbar even if there was a carrier in your bike. Jungkook wanted you to sit on his front, where he could see you, where he could cage you in his arms.

He was so scared to let you sit behind him. What if your mother took you away?

You quietly sat on the crossbar. You felt uncomfortable. Not with Jungkook, but with your current position. Sitting on the crossbar hurt your butt.

You didn't feel safe too. Jungkook's cycling with wobbly legs. You just knew you would be crashing soon.

"Kook!" You suddenly screamed, closing your eyes tightly.

Jungkook lost control. The bicycle crashed into your mother's car, causing the both of you to fall.

The car alarm was going off. You panicked. Your best friend panicked.

He felt stupid. How could he escape with you now? Your parents and his father heard the noise. They were heading towards the garage now.

"Jungkookie?" Jong-in called, unsure. He was wondering why his son was trying to hide you.

"Stay back!" Jungkook's breathing was ragged. His butt hurt, his arm hurt, seeing you hurt hurt him too. Everything hurt.

Jungkook felt like crying. You were plopped down on the ground. He wanted to help you, to make sure you were okay. Unfortunately he couldn't. He had to deal with the adults first. He had to make sure that they couldn’t hurt you.

"We're leaving! Let us go! You're gonna hurt her!" Jungkook didn't sound sweet anymore. He practically barked at your parents. "We heard you talking! You will hurt her! I know it!"

Your mother was about to say something. She was probably gonna scream at Jungkook, but your father stopped her, burying her face to his chest. After that Taemin looked at Jong-in, nodding as if he was silently asking him for a favor.

Jong-in nodded back and then he caught Jungkook off guard.

"Dad!" Jungkook's comically wide eye made his father smile. Jong-in ignored his son and just carried you in his arms.

"What are you gonna do to her!?" Jungkook’s hands balled into a fist. He was thinking of a way to save you from his father.

"You said she's not safe here so I'm taking her away from here. Wanna go with us?" Jong-in extended his left arm for Jungkook to hold.

The nine year-old boy hesitated, but after a few seconds, he decided to grab Jong-in's hand. He couldn't trust your parents, but maybe he could trust his father. Jong-in never lied to him.

Jungkook's father was true to his words, his son didn't regret trusting him.

Jong-in brought you to his house.

He had your father's permission. Taemin knew you were shocked and confused right now. You probably didn’t want to see your parents. You had to be surrounded by the people you trust. As of this moment, you would only warm up at Jungkook and Jong-in.

"Jungkookie, stop glaring at me..." Jong-in chuckled. He was amused by how protective his son got when it came to you. "Just go get some ice packs and a first aid kid. Your friend is hurt, can't you see?"

Jungkook winced as his father touched your bruised arm. You got hurt when you fell from the bicycle. Jungkook was aware that it was his fault.

"How can I make sure you're not gonna take her back to their house?" Jungkook crossed his arms, raising his brow and pouting his lips.

"Well out of everyone she knows, I am the only one who hasn't hurt her."

Jong-in knew it was insensitive to say this, especially because it was obvious that Jungkook was already feeling guilty for being the reason why you had bruises on your arms and legs.

"Fine." But in the end, Jong-in's statement was what convinced Jungkook to finally leave you alone for a short while.

It was what Jong-in wanted. He wanted to talk to you alone, to explain to you what just happened.

And he did. He made you understand your place without trying to offend you.

"I can't believe it's been seventeen years," Jungkook said, snapping back to reality. He trailed his fingers on your arm as if he could still see the bruises you got when you fell from the bike.

"You know what they say, time flies fast when you're happy..."

"Are you happy, Tiger?" Jungkook brought your arm closer to his lips, kissing it.

"Very.” You replied.

For a moment you enjoyed the silence, but Jungkook never really liked quiet so he started humming.

You immediately recognized the song. It was at my worst by Pink Sweats.

It made you smile. The sound coming out of his mouth soothed you.

He always knew how to make you feel better. For years, Jungkook did nothing but protect you.

You should start being more grateful.

"Thank you, Kook..." You said all of a sudden, a smile gracing your lips.

He stopped humming.

"Hmm?"

"For protecting me," you kissed his cheek. "Always, especially seventeen years ago."

You ran your fingers through his hair. He never changed his style: short and black.

"I never thought I'd see that side of yours. You looked like you're about to eat my parents alive," you giggled. "You're a bad boy."

It was a joke. You simply wanted to tease him.

You guessed he teased you back and also responded to your thank you by singing a certain part of Pink Sweat's song.

"For you, girl, I swear I'd do the worst..."He laughed while singing the lyrics.

You shook your head.

"No, Kook." You smiled sincerely . "You always do what's best for me..."

Did he really?

What if you were wrong? What if you thought he was doing his best, but then it was only bringing the worst in you?

Yeah. That's right.

Jungkook brought the worst out of you because when Monday came, he promised that he would tell Soojin that he didn't like her in a romantic way.

It didn't happen. Jungkook didn't talk to Soojin, at least this was what you thought.

Because if he did, then why was the ugly, green monster back? Why was it consuming you as you watched the biggest news for today:

After years of building things, two great architects of today finally decided to build a life together: Head Architect Jeon Jungkook asked Corporate Heir Kim Soojin to marry him.

A/N: I know, I know I’m not letting you guys breathe. I’m sorry I have to end this chapter like this hehe <//3

#ficswithluv #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook best friends to lovers #best friend jungkook #jungkook x yn #jungkook x female reader #jungkook x oc #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x you #jungkook fanfic #armywriterssupport

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taetaesbaebaepsae · 4 years

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Blood Orange

This is a spinoff/sequel to Inferno, which takes place in the Brimstone universe, which has a whole bunch of sequels and spinoffs, but all you really need to know is this: Jimin is an incubus and fruit grown in hell has big aphrodisiac properties.

Summary: Being invited to a party in hell ends up a lot more fun than you’d expected.

Warnings: WELL, feral Jimin is a lot, aphrodisiacs like in Pomegranate seeds, incubus semen is like its own aphrodisiac so there’s that, oral sex (f. receiving, m. receiving, unprotected sex, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, it’s all feral

Word Count: 2541

Dating a demon definitely had its upsides and downsides.

Being in hell at a demon birthday party...might be one of the downsides.

Hell itself is a lot less terrifying than it appears. I mean sure, there's a throne that might be made of human skulls in the corner, decorated with party hats, and it's awfully warm despite the air conditioner in Taemin's mansion, but otherwise it's a pretty swanky place.

Jimin's friend, the one Taemin had called Persephone, was celebrating her 21st (well, 2100, but who's counting) and you're glad to see Taemin smiling with the pretty girl on one arm and a blushing boy on the other, since the last time you'd seen him he'd been a bit distraught.

But you're also feeling very out of place. Besides the boy, Jungkook, you're the only human there, and things feel a bit awkward.

Jimin stays by your side for an hour but you can tell he's restless, not having spent much time below since you started dating. You smile at him and encourage him to mingle, but when he does, you feel oddly adrift.

It's kind of fun to people watch (demon watch?) though, like catching a tipsy Taemin nip at Jungkook's ear and Jungkook turning a brilliant shade of violet. Jimin and Perspehone reminiscing about their younger years, you catching bits and pieces.

"Remember when you seduced Charon and we took a joyride on the ship?" and "That was you, not me!" being the most memorable.

You're smiling and sipping your extremely strong drink when Jongin sits beside you on the plush couch.

"Having fun?" He asks, and gives you a smile.

You flush a little, having flashbacks to the night you met. It's a little weird to be at a party with three demons who have seen you naked, but overall you think you're handling it well.

"I am. You?"

Jongin shrugs, and when you look over at him his body language is all wrong, shoulders slumped, stubble on his face.

"I'm trying."

You frown and lean closer. "What's wrong?"

Jongin sighs. "It's a long story."

"I don't think I'm going anywhere soon. Jimin wants to see his friends." You encourage, and Jongin gives you a grateful smile.

And that's how it starts, this night, and when it ends, you're so exhausted you can barely move.

🔥🔥🔥

Jimin's having a wonderful time, drinking firewhiskey and laughing with the birthday girl, and he loses track of you for a bit.

When he sees you sitting on the couch with Jongin, a hand on his knee, the drawback to bringing you to this party hits him all at once.

Incubi. Everywhere, and ones who you'd summoned specifically.

The one who'd gotten to be inside your cunt before he did, chatting you up on Taemin's couch.

Jimin doesn't realize he's gritting his teeth until his jaw starts to ache, and when Taemin tugs him aside, he protests.

"You've always been such a brat," Taemin scolds, and Jimin scoffs. "But he needs someone to talk to, so relax."

"She's mine," Jimin insists, the firewhiskey making his head fuzzy.

Taemin rolls his eyes. "Yes, yes, she's yours. You can show her that when the party's over, yeah? Have some fruit, make it tenfold." He gestures vaguely to the array of fruit on the table.

Jimin huffs, but the fruit does look appealing, especially the bright blood oranges. All fruit in the underworld was tinged with lust, his own father had a blood orange tree.

These are particularly delicious though, bittersweet blooming on his tongue as soon as he pops a section into his mouth, and before he knows it he's eaten all of it.

When Taemin sees Jimin holding the rind of the orange, his eyes widen.

"Jimin, please don't tell me you ate an entire orange."

Jimin blinks at him and Taemin heaves a deep sigh.

"Of course you did. You ate an entire orange from the royal fruit tree."

"So? My dad had a blood orange tree, I'm used to it."

Taemin pinches the bridge of his nose. "The royal tree is ten times the lust of other trees."

"Oh." Jimin looks down at the orange rind, skin beginning to heat already. "Oh, shit."

"I suggest you get her home before it kicks in. I don't want you fucking on my sofa, Jimin, I mean it," Taemin warns, before he's dragged off.

🔥🔥🔥

You're hugging Jongin goodbye when Jimin plops down on the couch next to you bonelessly, and after giving Jongin a smile as he leaves, you turn to him.

His cheeks are flushed, body sunk into the couch, and you laugh.

"Too much to drink, baby?"

Jimin pouts. "Didn't drink much," he insists.

You lean over to kiss his cheek, but he makes this sound almost like a moan and pulls you close, half into his lap, kissing your neck.

"Ah!" You cry, surprised but with heat spearing in your belly. "Not here, Jiminie."

"Wanna bend you over on this couch and fuck you in front of everyone," he mumbles, and your face burns.

"Jimin!"

"Want everyone to see you're mine, want everyone to hear you screaming my name," he continues, and you're choking on air.

When he grabs a handful of your ass, that's when you pull away, and he whimpers, looking almost devastated at the loss of touch.

"Firewhiskey is dangerous," you mutter, and Taemin looks over from where he's sitting on his throne with Persephone in his lap, seemingly asleep, one hand threaded in her hair.

"Oh, he ate an orange," he says, as if that explains everything.

You raise an eyebrow at him.

It's Jungkook who finally explains, sitting comfortably at Taemin's feet.

"It's like an aphrodisiac. A super strong one. I ate one pomegranate seed and…" he blushes. "It took a whole day to get it out of my system. It's like what they do to us, you know?" He explains.

You frown, confused, and then it dawns on you. The way you crave his touch and how insatiable you get, the way your head spins and there's nothing but Jimin.

"Um...how do we get home?" You ask as Jimin kisses up your neck, pushing him away with one hand.

"Best to stay in the guest room. Second door on the left." Taemin says this so easily, with his two lovers draped around him, as if this kind of thing happens all the time, and you feel a bit overwhelmed.

Jimin's hands are all over you as you lead him to the bedroom, and your eyes widen at the size of the bed.

Jimin tugs you down onto it before you can marvel too much though, planting hot kisses that almost burn on your collarbone.

"You're so hot," you say, concerned, putting a hand on his face.

"Mmm, you have to fuck it out," he explains, and you choke on air again.

"Or what?"

"Or you die, if you're human. I won't die, probably. Just be really sick for a few days." He mumbles against your skin, not in the least concerned.

"Jiminie, oh no, what do I do? How can I help?"

He's tugging off his shirt and you place a hand on his chest and he moans low in his throat.

Your breath catches, and you wonder if just a simple touch gets that kind of reaction…

"You need to cum," you say throatily, and he gasps, breathing hard.

"Need to fuck you, jagi, oh, please, I'm already so hard it hurts."

He takes your hand and presses it against the crotch of his jeans and lets out this guttural groan that makes your cunt pulse.

It isn't as if you hadn't planned on sex anyway, you had to every few hours, and he's so pretty like this, all flushed and eager.

"Oh fuck, jagi, please please, no one can fuck you like I do, yeah? You wouldn't want anyone else?" He looks so worried that it hurts your heart.

"Jiminie. Of course not. I want you so much, always. I love you."

He lets out a long breath like he'd been holding it, and kisses down your body, shoving your skirt up to your hips, ripping your panties off with ease and making you gasp out a moan when he pushes your legs apart impatiently and latches onto your clit, sucking hard right away, no finesse, no buildup.

"Ah, Jimin," you breathe when he hooks two fingers inside you and you're cumming around them in seconds, worked up.

Jimin peers at you from between your thighs, frowning. "That's not loud enough, jagi."

He trails little bites up your inner thighs, your hip bone, and kisses you hard, grinding against your bare pussy in his jeans.

"I want to fuck you so good everyone in hell knows it," he says, words slow and almost slurred.

You unbutton his jeans and he helps you pull them down, releasing his cock, already dripping precum.

When you wrap your fingers around the base he cries out. "Ah, ah, jagi, fuck, need to…"

He rolls his hips into your hand and you're fascinated by how he's turning red all over, the tip of his cock, his abdomen, his face.

"What do you want, baby?" You ask softly, and he looks down at you with his lip caught between his teeth, eyes glassy, as if overwhelmed.

You can't help but smile, leaning up to kiss him and you taste something bittersweet on his tongue.

"Wanna fill you up, wanna cum inside you, jagi, wanna mark you everywhere," he babbles into your mouth and you shake your head, pulling away.

"Not yet. One of us needs to be clear headed to get home tomorrow, and if you do that now I'll be as bad off as you are."

Jimin makes a frustrated sound in the back of his throat, but you tug him down to kiss him again, pulling him down to lie next to you.

It'd been a learning experience, dating a succubus, but you'd learned that you could do certain things without losing your capacity for rational thought, and you could put that to use now.

"Don't worry, baby. I'll take care of you."

Jimin is trembling, making these whiny noises in the back of his throat, his cock twitching against his belly. "Please," he whispers, and when you settle between his legs and lick just the tip of his cock he jerks, throwing his head back.

You can't help but do it again, loving the way he reacts, how the flush covering his body deepens and his hips buck up.

"Jagi, don't tease-" his pleas turn into a long moan when you take him into your mouth, working your tongue against the underside of his cock.

"Oh, oh, fuck, your mouth!" He almost shouts, thrusting into your mouth and making you gag a bit.

"Oh, jagi, I'm gonna cum," he whimpers, and pleasure shoots down your spine at how easily you're able to affect him, even with the hell fruit's help.

It's almost violent, his orgasm, and you milk him with your hand as he writhes beneath you, shooting cum down your throat, so much of it you choke a little.

When you lift your head he leans up to pull you up his body to kiss you slow and lazy, and you sigh in relief to realize he's broken a sweat, his skin cooled just a bit.

He shifts you on top of him and you realize he's still rock hard, pressing against the cleft of your cunt.

Jimin moans, sliding himself against your slick.

"You're so hot and wet, Y/n," he mumbles against your throat, sucking marks there over and over.

"Jimin, again? Already?"

As an Incubus he had an inhuman refractory period on the best days, but this is ridiculous.

"Want you so bad, jagi, please," he begs, rutting against you.

You groan, loving the pressure against your aching cunt. "Jimin….we probably shouldn't, yeah?"

"Mmm, I dunno, jagi, it's hard to think," he admits, reaching between you to cup your breasts, dragging his thumbs across your nipples.

You gasp. "I don't want to be as insatiable as you are, not here, not when anyone could hear us."

Jimin moves his hands from your breasts to your ass, rocking you against him.

"Want them to," he mutters, voice low and almost slurred. "Want all of hell to hear you're mine, jagi."

"Yeah?" You moan, the way his cock slides along your clit making you dizzy.

"Mmm, want them all to know what a slut you are for me, how you beg for my cock."

"Nngh, this is a bad idea," you groan, but fuck it, you're among friends even if most of them are lust demons, and you want it, want him so badly you can hardly breathe.

"Yes yes yes," Jimin chants, looking down at your pussy as you lift your hips, and when you slide down onto his cock his head jerks back so hard it thumps against the headboard.

When you rock your hips forward he grabs onto your ass hard, bouncing you on his cock, his mouth slack, this almost feral look on his face and it's so hot that you're near the edge in moments.

You're letting out these little breathy moans and Jimin huffs out a frustrated breath and flips you over,

His hips slow, harder and with purpose and you hitch in a breath.

"Why are you being so quiet, jagi?" He leans down to bite a mark onto your neck and you let out a wrecked moan, your skin feeling sensitive and hot all over.

"That's better," he says, voice low, and smirks at you. "I've heard you be louder, though, yeah?"

He leans down to take a nipple between your teeth and slides one hand down between you to press his thumb to your clit, pulling almost out of you and then ramming back inside, and you make an inhuman sound as you tumble over the edge, gushing around him, black at the edges of your vision.

Jimin is making this sound almost like a growl and he shouts your name when he cums inside you and as usual, it feels like it heats you from the inside out and you whimper.

He hides his face in your neck, panting.

"I think that's enough for a while, if you want to get some sleep, jagi," he says apologetically, lifting his head.

But it's too late, you're aching with need now, and you latch onto his throat, rolling your hips against him

"But I need you, Jiminie," you whine, head spinning.

"F-fuck," he groans. "Okay, jagi, I got you."

🔥🔥🔥

When you finally come down, your throat is raw and your body aches all over and you have no sense of time, you can't exactly see the sunlight in hell.

Jimin coos at you, at some point after you'd passed out he'd gotten dressed and brought you water and your favorite treat, a slice of cheesecake.

"How are you feeling?" He asks.

It takes you a couple of tries to get the words out. "No more hell fruit," you croak, and he laughs into your mouth when he leans down to kiss you.

#ksmutclub #park jimin x reader #jimin x reader #btswriterscorner #2k words #jimin smut #jimin imagine

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fyexo · 4 years

Text

200928 SuperM: Armed With The Power Of Hope

Chart-topping, history-making K-pop group, SuperM, are the heroes that music and the world needs right now.

Everyone needs hope – that bad days will end and that good days will last. It’s this very hope that K-pop septet SuperM have tried to deliver – and succeeded in -with their much-anticipated debut full-length album, ‘Super One’.

A collaborative project between SM Entertainment and Capitol Records, this one-of-a-kind group – which brings together SHINee’s Taemin, EXO’s Baekhyun and Kai, NCT 127’s Taeyong and Mark, and WayV’s Lucas and Ten- are superheroes in the own right. With an album that’s equally fierce and hard-hitting as it is cathartic and encouraging, Taeyong describes the album succinctly in one impactful word – hope. He says, “We want to bring people feelings of hope and positivity”.

Affectionately tagged “The Avengers of K-pop”, SuperM are using this hope to remind everyone that together we can weather any storm with their combined powers of impactful music, intricate choreography, and natural charisma.

It’s really no surprise that a band founded on the values of coming together as one in celebration of their individual and shared strengths picked a similar theme for their debut album.

Speaking of the inspiration behind the concept, Baekhyun says, “Everyone’s going through a tough time right now, and we wanted to do something that would provide hope and strength during these times. My hope is that’s what we will do with this album”.

Ten adds, “With this album, we wanted to talk about hope and uniting to overcome difficulties, and with our combined strength we can get through any obstacles. There are also so many genres on this album that we hope everyone finds a favourite”.

On the topic of favourites, the members delve into their personal favourite tracks from the 15-track productions with Lucas revealing his fitting selection, “Better Days”, which further elevates the band’s heartfelt hope for brighter, happier dawns after long sombre nights. He says, “My favourite is ‘Better Days’ because it’s a better day when you listen to it!” with Kai continuing, “I’d say ‘Tiger Inside’ because if you listen to it in the morning it will give you all the energy you need”.

As a group who are the epitome of the idea “finding strength in differences”, this endless energy they share with their fans is further enriched by their dynamics with each other. Talking about how they inspire and influence each other, Taeyong says, “We all come from different backgrounds and came together into one group, so we all have our experiences to share”.

“For me personally, I really like listening to the older guys in the band because they have so much experience and stories to share and it’s inspiring and I learn a lot from them. I think that’s our greatest strength, that we all share and learn from each other.”

With their focus so sharply honed in on sharing and learning in order to evolve, the band is acutely aware of their own growth. Delving into what stands out most about their growth as a band, Taemin states, “With the last EP, it was our debut and it was the beginning of SuperM. With this album, ‘Super One’, we are closer and know each other better,” he reiterates the powerful message of the record, revealing, “This album is also about the message that the world needs right now – positive energy to whoever listens to it, and a hopeful message”.

In spite of the hope they imbued in themselves and fans with this album, the band misses their fans just as much their global fanbase misses them. Baekhyun speaks on behalf of the entire group when he says, “We just want fans to know we miss them”.

In a move that’s highly relatable to any fan who might watch hours of fancam footage of their favourite artists to comfort themselves, he opens up, “I was watching clips from some shows the other day and I just really, really miss it and the moments we’ve had with our fans”.

Expressing genuine concern for his fans, he further adds, “Honestly, we miss performing for them, and we cannot wait to perform for our fans again, but health and safety come first, so until we can meet again, we hope everyone stays safe and takes care of themselves”.

As the first Asian artists to debut at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 with 2019’s The 1st Mini Album ‘SuperM’ EP, the band has so much to look forward to with this album and beyond.

Looking forward, the group revealed at their global press conference – which aligned with the release of their album – the collaboration that solidifies their position as the Avengers of K-pop… SuperM is partnering with Marvel Entertainment on a limited edition package collection, with further plans for co-branded content, products, and live fan experiences. As Marvel fans themselves, the band are understandably excited about the collaboration. However, what they’re most excited about is simply meeting their fans again.

Echoing Baekhyun’s statement, Mark speaks of their bucket list, saying, “We want to tour the world again and see all our international fans again. Really, that’s the dream right now”.

Being reunited is a dream that might seem far away for most of the world right now, but armed with hope as their superpower and positivity as their strength, the world is made a lot brighter with Super M’s presence in it.

United by music and beyond, they help the world rise from the shackles of sadness that holds it back.

Malvika Padin @ NOTION

#exo #baekhyun #kai #t: interview #200923 #e: interview #album: super one

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inspired-by-the-music · 4 years

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For You: 4 O’Clock

Taglist: @jineunwootrash @jamies-kpop-reactions

Chapter 14: A Fool

By the time Taemin’s lips parted from mine, the fireworks overhead had almost entirely ceased, and most cars had vacated the parking lot below.

Breathless, I was almost hesitant to meet the glittering galaxies gathered in Taemin’s eyes, all too aware of the likelihood that I would spend the rest of the evening or the rest of my life aimlessly wandering through them. However, as you know by now, I could never resist the allure of Taemin’s other-worldly beauty.

His eyes smiled at me as his hands moved to cup my cheeks. “Do you want to do it again?” His laughter dissolved all tension in the air.

Before pecking at his grin, I hummed, “Maybe later!”

Narrowly escaping Taemin’s effort to catch me in another thousand-year kiss, I grabbed my mask from its corner and frowned at the high heels that were entirely responsible for the dull ache in my ankle.

“You don’t have to put them back on,” Taemin said, following my gaze. “I’ll carry you to my car and drive you home.” When I hesitated to climb onto his back because I had been too tall for piggyback rides for as long as I could remember, he pouted, begging, “Let me give you one drama-worthy moment, jagi. Please?”

There was no way to deny him whatever he wanted when he looked at me like that— like I alone held the key to his happiness in the palm of my hand. Setting aside my discomfort, abandoning my fear of heights (or, more accurately, my fear of falling from a height), I secured my hold around him. Releasing a deep breath, I laid my head on his shoulder.

Quietly, as if he thought that I had fallen asleep in the span of just a few seconds and he didn’t wish to wake me, Taemin asked, “Are you sleepy?”

“No,” I whispered, although my blinking eyelids had gone heavy with fatigue in the aftermath of the party’s highs and lows. “You’re just really warm, so you’re a good cuddle buddy.”

The smile on his face was audible as he repeated, “Cuddle buddy?” I wish I had opened my eyes to admire his smile, to watch if it grew when I dropped a feather-light kiss on the crook of his neck.

Delighted by the subtle shiver that ran down his spine at the sweet contact, I hoped that my voice carried my smile to him when he couldn’t quite see me. “What’s gonna happen to the blanket and the lights and—” I gasped.

Taemin’s body stiffened. He glanced back at my widened eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Your rose—” tears gathered in my eyes with the sudden sharp blow of winter wind— “I left it behind. I must have dropped it when you kissed me. I must have been too happy to hold on, and now—”

As soon as he set me on my feet beside his car, Taemin kissed each of my cheeks. Before any tear could fall, he promised, “I’ll go get it.” He held his keys out to me. “I’ll be right back, okay? Please don’t cry. It’s our happy night.”

I parrotted the phrase, “Our happy night.” A smile broke across my face while I cursed myself for my embarrassing attachment to symbols like the rose. But then, it was easy to forget embarrassment when Taemin smiled at me.

Looking back, I think that he must have planned all along to return to our rooftop place to retrieve the blanket and the lights and his mask. In that moment, though, I was so giddy with the thought that Taemin had retraced our path just for the sake of the rose that I greeted his return with a broad grin that he hopefully appreciated in the two seconds before I caught his lips with mine.

“You kissed me,” Taemin gasped as if it were the first time. Holding the rose out to me, he asked, “Will you do it again in exchange for a flower?”

I don’t know what came over me. In all of my life, I had never been an excessively smiley, giggly sort of person, but my cheeks ached from smiling that night. My laughter seemed to have lost all meaning, but I kept laughing anyway. All I can say, I guess, is that Taemin’s kiss made me happy. Too happy. Happier than I had ever been.

Had there been a rational thought in my head that wasn’t centered around the boy in the diver’s seat, the boy determined to lace his fingers through mine as he drove down busy streets, the boy I trusted to lead me to new heights at any corner of the universe, I might have called myself cringeworthy.

At every point in my life, I had been prematurely fixated on the moment of goodbye. Maybe that was some sort of well-intentioned coping mechanism. I’m not sure. All I can tell you in hindsight is that I must have had no intention of parting ways with Taemin. Maybe in some corner of my mind— or in the entirety of my heart— I decided that the rest of the night would be spent in his company.

When he parked in the driveway of my house, I realized from the sheer number of cars that there was no way I would catch an hour of sleep. More importantly, there was no way I would have been able to lead Taemin into my room undetected. Within seconds, I pieced together that Super Junior had occupied my home to a.) celebrate the new year, b.) celebrate their years of friendship with Mom, and c.) to celebrate the union of Momhae.

When I relayed that information to Taemin, explaining what it meant for our sleeping arrangements, he suggested, “We can sleep together in my room at the SuperM house.”

From his smirk and the mischievous glint in his eyes coupled with the dropping of his jaw when I eagerly nodded my head, I figured that Taemin hadn’t been entirely serious. No, Taemin was always serious about falling asleep together. He must have expected me to place some boundary against falling asleep together in his bed.

Sinking at the thought that I hadn’t explained how much I loved sleeping at his side, I dropped the rose onto my lap so I could trace stars on his knuckles. “I’m sorry if this sounds too clingy or dependent, Taemin, but I— I want to spend every night with you. Even when we go back to living separate daily lives after the tour is over, I want to spend the nights with you. That time when I get to remove my mask and lay my head on your chest and just exist—”

Taemin squeezed my hand and raised it to meet his kiss. I had to smile at that sweet gesture as my heart swelled and overflowed with affection. The fond wrinkles that formed around his eyes encouraged me to continue to confess, “That time holds me together. I— to tell you the truth, I don’t know what I would do if that time were to end.”

Taemin said, “It won’t,” so assuredly that the lump growing in my throat dissolved. Shallow lines etched into his forehead as he asked, “Why did you tell me all of those beautiful things, jagi?”

I shrugged, startled by my total lack of embarrassment as I met his twinkling eyes. “I just thought that it would be kind of tragic if you never knew what time with you means to me. Earlier, you asked me to tell you what I feel, and I— I’m going to try, but you should know that I feel a lot, and— if you could, I would like for you to kiss me when I ramble, please—”

Immediately, Taemin took the hint. He kissed me like he planned to feel my lips without the invitation.

. . .

“I like it when you’re like this,” Taemin said on our way up the stairs to his bedroom.

From my place on his back, I bit back my giggles for fear of waking the SuperM members who, judging by the almost eerie silence and empty driveway, weren’t even there. “Like what, Taem?” I kissed his temple, careful not to drop the champagne bottle he looted from the party onto the hardwood floor. “All over you?”

“Well, yeah.” He smirked as he kicked open the door to his pure white room. From first glance, it seemed to be a place beyond earth. “But I actually meant that I like it when you’re honest with me. I love it when you trust me with everything locked away in here.” His index finger tapped on an inch of skin exposed beneath my bangs when he set me down on the small sofa by the window.

The cushions were as light and fluffy as clouds. Maybe with Taemin, every day, in one way or another, I enacted my dream of being something that belongs in the sky.

“You’ve always been easy to trust,” I told him as he filled the space next to me. “I just— it’s hard to unlearn the habit of holding back. Just know that I’m going to trust you with everything in time.”

Taemin took the bottle of champagne, beaming. “I know. Thank you for trying for me.”

I rose onto my knees, sinking ever-so-slightly into the clouds, to peel back the silky curtains and raise the blinds. Shining brilliantly over our garden amid a shower of golden fireworks, the moon stared back at me and stole my breath away.

“You can see our garden well from here,” I observed as I sat back, careful not to disturb my aching ankle. “If I had a view like this from my room, then I probably never would have snuck out of my house.”

Taemin said, “Flowers aren’t meant to be admired through a window.”

And when I glanced over at him, I found that he was watching the moon just as intently as I always had. A part of me wanted to ask if he also dreamed of a day when he could reach out and feel the moon’s kiss on his fingertips. The answer was obvious the next time he looked into my eyes, though, so the question died on the tip of my tongue.

“I like it when you’re like this,” I said, unable to lift my voice above a whisper.

“Like what, Lei?” After setting the champagne bottle on the floor with a gentle thud, Taemin leaned across the couch to lay his head on my chest, flush against my heartbeat. Hooking his hands around my waist, he fanned his breath over my collar bone. “All over you?”

My heart raced for him, but it didn’t hurt, and I wasn’t embarrassed knowing that he could feel it too.

“Well, yeah.” I smiled as I carded my fingers through his hair. “But I actually meant that I like it when you talk like a poet. I love it when you trust me with everything in here.” My index finger traced his heart over his collared shirt.

Taemin wrapped his fingers around my wrist and pressed my palm flat against his chest so I could feel it— the ever so subtle quickening of his pulse as he lifted his head to breathe against my parted lips.

I guess the night couldn’t have remained an almost perfect dream come true because I didn’t live in a fairytale. Sometime later, Taemin pressed his back against the arm of the couch opposite me. After taking a small taste of champagne, he asked, “Do you want to play truth or dare like we did the last time we drank together?”

Because I am a fool for anything with sentimental value, I nodded my head so passionately that Baekhyun’s flower crown fell off of my head. It landed on the space between Taemin and me. Before I could return the crown to its place atop my head, he swiped it and laid over his hair. Although the flowers weren’t his, they looked prettier on him. They transformed him into a vision of an angel.

Knowing the answer, Taemin asked, “Am I pretty?” while tucking a strand of hair behind his ear and winking as I tasted champagne.

I giggled at the bubbling sensation on my tongue. “You’re absolutely beautiful, Taemin.” He rejoiced at the compliment, and I asked, “Who gets to go first in this little game?”

He decided with the question, “Truth or dare, jagi?”

Obeying Taemin’s gesture to take another sip of the drink, I decided to be bold. “Dare.”

Taemin hummed as he caught his pretty pink bottom lip between his teeth. I do not doubt that he was deliberately employing the very on-stage tactics that elicit screams from full stadiums around the world. Tugging his phone out of his pocket and flashing the timer on its screen, he dared, “Kiss me for a whole minute.”

Although I was no longer a stranger to kissing Taemin, my cheeks burned at his instruction. “A minute?” I frowned. I can’t tell you if I was disappointed because a minute was closer to never or forever.

“A minute!” Taemin smiled before puckering his lips.

I trembled with anxiety during that first dared kiss, I think, because I was too aware of the passage of time. I wasted that first dared kiss by holding my breath, whittling away the seconds until the alarm permitted me to crawl back to my side of the couch.

If Taemin was disappointed by the minute he wasted with his lips pressed to mine in the most lackluster kiss of all time— if he was disappointed that I was still as shy in the field of physical affection as I was in verbal affection— I couldn’t tell. His lips curled into a smile that I could see through the champagne bottle.

In my embarrassment, I nearly forgot to ask, “Truth or dare, Taeminnie?”

He squealed as he almost always did when I called him by anything resembling a nickname. “Truth.” His voice was a gentle hum.

My eyes broke from his just long enough to glance out at our garden before returning to the pleasure of staring at him until every detail of his perfect face was a permanent memory that I could sketch out on paper given a chance. I asked, “What were you doing out there by the rose bush that night before I sat with you?”

“Waiting for you,” he answered without a moment of hesitation, without a moment of surrendering to shame. “I noticed you out there once or twice when I should have been sleeping. I knew that you were lonely because you didn’t know that we were looking up at the same moon at the same time.” While I traced the ribbon around his wrist, he said, “It was my dream to show you— to make you feel that you’re not alone.”

Even if I achieved my goal of learning every language in the world, would I have ever learned the words with which to respond to something so beautiful? I don’t think so. I believe there are some moments when the only response can be silence.

I almost wanted to ask how he knew that I would be out there on that particular night. I almost wanted to know how the flower he held had broken. I came close to asking if he held it together in his warm, soft hands long after it was unsalvageable because he hoped as much as I did that the universe had gifted him with the supernatural ability to mend gaping wounds with his touch.

I bit my tongue, though, because the concept of fate enchanted me as a mysterious force that should not have to suffer through questioning. It was romantic enough to hear from Taemin’s mouth that we were brought together by the moon that I turned the page on those questions without regret.

Taking my next drink of champagne, I again chose dare, hoping for another chance to kiss my Taemin’s lips after he made my heart flutter with his talk about the moon.

Perhaps reading my mind or maybe wanting to feel my breath as much as I needed to feel his to thank the universe for the gift of the time together, Taemin said, “Kiss me for two minutes, please.”

That time, when Taemin started his timer, I hoped that by some miracle or happy accident, the alarm would never send me back to my appropriate side of the couch. I wanted to melt into him, to lose myself in him. It didn’t matter if I should ever distinguish myself from him again. Here— with him— is where I am happiest.

That time, when Taemin whispered, “My Lei,” against my skin, I didn’t cringe at the thought that I— all of me, every thought locked away in my mind, every fear hidden in the darkest corners of my heart— belonged to him.

Maybe that’s not the best way to phrase it. Maybe I mean to say that I didn’t cringe at the thought that all of me, even the parts that I considered fruitless or dangerous or flawed, belonged with Taemin. I don’t know.

Setting aside the semantics that certainly didn’t matter to me at the time, my heart stirred at Taemin’s whisper. I took both of his hands in mine and laced our fingers together as if that would forever tether me to the moment.

Time ran out as it always does and always will. After Taemin silenced the alarm, I stalled in peeling myself away from him. As cliche as this sounds, I swear that it’s true: it was almost painful to be separated.

Taemin noticed, or maybe he felt a pull toward me too. Swallowing champagne, he chose dare. He probably expected me to dare him to kiss me for as long as he wanted because I was tired of the alarm jolting us apart.

I don’t know how to describe my excitement when he leaned forward onto his knees and laid beside me on my side of the couch. It was a burning sensation that crawled up from the tips of my toes, pooled in my stomach, spread from my chest to the fingertips that reached out to trace his smile, and heated every inch of my face.

I don’t know how long we kissed that time, but I know that there was no coherent thought in my head by the time Taemin left me with tingling swollen lips. Maybe he deprived me of too much oxygen. Maybe the alcohol caught up with me all at once as my pulse quickened with each of his lingering touches.

Taemin swears that I was drunk on New Year’s Eve, but I can’t tell you for certain because I never felt like that— hot, honest, uninhibited, stuck in slow-motion— since that one night spent in his room. Because these memories embarrass me still, I have sworn off alcohol just to safely avoid circumstances that yield reckless choices.

Almost laughing at my dazed open-mouth expression, Taemin wondered aloud, “What are you thinking about?” while running his thumb over my crescent moon earring that matched his.

If he expected me to say anything profound, he must have been disappointed when I asked through bubbling giggles, “Do you think it’s physically possible for me to drown in your kiss?”

No disappointment was visible on his laughing face. If he wasn’t affected by the alcohol, I don’t know what his excuse was for muttering, “Let’s find out,” before fitting his lips with mine for the millionth time.

I am bashful about relating these acts of affection to you. I am not in any way ashamed about having kissed Taemin. It’s just— you know that I don’t regularly engage in this sort of behavior. I never really considered that I would ever breathe in sync or move in sync with anybody before Taemin found me in that hour of loneliness in the garden.

It didn’t come to me naturally at first— succumbing to that eternal pull toward him, the one who set me alight with his tender touch— but once the habit developed, I would never break it. Maybe I couldn’t even if I wake up one day and decide to try.

Anyway, there is something inherently nerve-rattling about carrying what happens in the dark in the company of the stars into daylight. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m doing the right thing by telling you everything that happened after the rising of the moon, but I— I guess I want nothing more than to share my happiness with you. I guess I want you to know that happiness is him: Taemin, my star.

After all the nights of narrowly missing Taemin’s lips, I suppose that the damn burst all at once with the bursting of fireworks. I don’t understand it. I don’t understand him, but I don’t have to understand Taemin to know that I am in love with him. That’s why I’m trying to stop seeing the world in the logical way I have tried to add and subtract everything else in my life. I accept that some things— some emotions— some people are not meant to be put into words.

It’s beautiful that Taemin is one such person.

Undoubtedly drowning in Taemin’s scent of roses, I broke from the kiss to ask, grinning from ear to ear like an absolute fool, “Do you think I could get drunk from this kiss?”

And— I squirm at this memory— he said, “I think I already am.”

The very words that almost make me cringe in hindsight washed over me like a stories-high wave that swept me to the shore where Taemin’s lips molded with mine again, still not tired, still not bored, still so sweet and gentle but not at all timid. He convinced me that I was made for this— I was made for him— and I think I still believe that now that I am sober and the sun has risen and, for a blink in the universe, he is not reading over my shoulder.

I ruined what very well could have been a perfect knee-weakening memory by sitting up to suggest, “Let’s play strip poker!”

Taemin laughed out loud. He gripped his sides because they were splitting until he realized that I wasn’t joking. Likely rattled by my serious expression that contradicted the last several minutes spent giggling between kisses, he gasped. “Are you being serious?”

I must have been intoxicated. Had I been sober, that suggestion would have been a joke or, at the very least, I would have had the wit to pass off a genuine (humiliating) desire as an absent-minded attempt at flirting. Instead, I nodded, reaching out to card my fingers through his hair. “I’m always serious, sweet Taemin.”

“Sweet Taemin?” The broad smile that brightened his face now brightens my memories. Forcing his lips into an exaggerated pout, he said, “I don’t have cards, jagi, so we can’t play strip poker. I’m sorry.”

“Darn.” I frowned, brow furrowing as I traced my fingers over Taemin’s lips that pervaded my every blurry thought. “Oh well. I don’t know how to play poker anyway.” And then, when I should have dropped the subject before any harm was done, I asked, “Can we play strip rock-paper-scissors instead, Taeminnie?”

Taemin snorted. “Well,” he spoke in a soft hum that almost definitely meant no.

Being more shameless in that moment than I had been in my entire life, I felt my eyes widen pleadingly. “Please, sweet Taeminnie?” My bottom lip poked out from my frown, and my hands pressed together as if to pray.

He sighed, “Well, alright,” and then winked as if he planned to give me my way all along.

I squealed and clapped my hands as I sat upright on my arm of the couch. After I gulped another unneeded mouthful of champagne, Taemin took the bottle and set it behind his side of the couch so I couldn’t reach it without straining.

I wasn’t disappointed for long. Holding his fist out, Taemin wiggled his eyebrows. “Ready, jagi?”

Giggling, I nodded my head until I was dizzy and the game commenced.

It was fun at first because Taemin lost the first two rounds. I think he liked that I rolled my eyes and shouted, “Booooooooriiiiiing,” when he started by removing his black socks. Then, he laughed as air passed through my rounded lips— a poor imitation of a whistle— when he slowly unbuttoned his shirt.

Lowering back onto the couch, Taemin was careful to sit straight so that I could see each of his muscles. “Like what you see?” He smirked as if the answer wasn’t evident from my unadulterated stare and agape mouth. Like it tickled, he laughed when I reached to poke one of the muscles protruding in his abdomen because (even then) I needed proof that he wasn’t just a dream.

My winning streak didn’t last long. I was all too easy to beat, too compromised by alcohol and the mind-numbing sight of my boyfriend to even notice that I lost until he giggled.

After I shrugged out of Taemin’s jacket, dropping and forgetting it on the floor, I lost again. Without shoes or socks to shed, I stood and almost gnawed through my cheek as I reached for the cold zipper at the base of my neck. For the better part of five minutes, Taemin just watched me struggle with the zipper.

Maybe he thought I was stalling to remain clothed for as long as possible, but the truth— that’s too embarrassing to admit. Suffice it to say that, having suggested the game in the first place, I was not stalling.

When the sparkling midnight blue fabric fell at my bare feet, we both screamed.

Standing before him in only a nude bra and a pair of skin-toned Spanx, too stunned by my own action to look away from his widened eyes, I stuttered, “I— I can’t do this. Or can I?” Glancing down at myself, blushing just slightly, I realized, “I guess I already did, so—”

“No,” Taemin said as he stood. Although his eyes were closed, he walked to me without stumbling and draped his discarded shirt over my shoulders. Once I fit my arms through the silky sleeves that hung past my fingertips, Taemin opened his eyes to button the shirt most of the way up. He avoided my bewildered gaze, saying, “I’m sorry. I was just playing around. I didn’t think that you would actually do that. I’m so sorry, Lei.”

Because I couldn’t understand why he was apologizing when we had only played the game by its rules, I asked, “What’s wrong? Did I mess something up again?”

I must have cried. I can still feel Taemin’s thumbs brushing my cheeks just under my eyes. I hate that. I hate that I lost all inhibitions. I hate that I cried in front of Taemin just because his solemn expression terrified me to the core. I hate that I had no choice in whether or how to express the emotions I would have preferred to hide.

“No,” he whispered before enveloping me in a hug that was probably supposed to prove that nothing was wrong. He pulled my bangs out of my face and brushed his lips across my forehead. “You didn’t mess anything up. It just— if we keep going, I think you’ll regret it in the morning. I never want you to regret anything you do with me.”

“I wouldn’t regret it.” Suddenly too flustered, too ashamed to meet his eyes, I looped my arms around his waist and leaned forward to put my ear to his heartbeat. What once had been slow, confident, unaffected by my proximity was now rapid, anxious, all because of me.

“Please,” Taemin begged, “don’t say things like that when I’m trying to do the right thing.”

Before I could continue to childishly argue that there was no reason to pace ourselves or resist each other if we wanted the same things, Taemin tightened his grip around my waist and pulled me flush against his warm body. He held me there in the silence for what felt like eternities before swinging me, as if I was as light as a feather, toward his bed.

He sang, “Let’s go to sleep,” and smiled his smile that grew more familiar with each passing second. A beauty of my memories and my present confined no longer to photographs and my wildest dreams.

He pulled back the plush white blanket to expose white sheets, and he tugged me along toward the head of the bed, where he collapsed against soft cloud pillows.

“But I don’t wanna go to bed,” I whined, refusing to lay with him. “I’m not tired!”

Taemin laughed when I reached for the champagne bottle. His hand wrapped around my waist, tickling me through his shirt, and pulled me to the center of the bed so that my back pressed against his side. “Let’s cuddle, then. Come here and talk to me.”

I mumbled, “That’s my favorite thing to do,” and rolled onto my side so I could see him.

As I started to trace my name onto his chest with my index finger, Taemin chuckled. “What’s your favorite thing? Cuddling or talking to me?”

“Both,” I answered without hesitation. My eyes flickered up to his face. He was so beautiful that I had to tell him. “Do you know why?”

“No.” Taemin shook his head, which he propped on the arm resting atop his pillow. “Why, jagi?”

“You’re my favorite person,” I told him plainly, “because you’re beautiful.”

“I’m beautiful?” Taemin gasped like he never before received the compliment.

“Didn’t you know?” I removed my hand from his chest to cup his cheek, which bulged under the weight of his sparkling toothy grin. “You’re so pretty, Taemin. You’re the prettiest person in the whole world. You’re prettier than the sun and the moon and all of the stars. You’re brighter than all of them, too, and I love you more than them and—”

True to his earlier promise to silence me with a kiss whenever I ramble, Taemin used both hands to pull me atop him and, resting one hand at the nape of my neck, he brought my lips to his.

“This is my other favorite thing to do,” I confessed, looking down at him with a smile I hope rivaled the radiance of the sun. “I never want to stop kissing you.”

Taemin breathed, “Then don’t,” so sweetly that I kissed him over and over again until the sun rose or my eyes fluttered closed in a deep sleep— whichever came first.

My stomach didn’t knot at any of the night’s events until the morning sun broke through the window, unobstructed by blinds or curtains, and pried my eyes open with a dull headache. When my bare legs brushed against the fabric of Taemin’s dress pants, I flinched away from him, sat upright, and choked on a gasp.

I glanced at his sleeping form, barely getting to admire the half of his face that wasn’t buried in the cloud white pillow before my eyes zeroed in on the fact that his back— his entire upper body— was bare.

He was shirtless and right next to me. I was pants-less (except for my shapewear) and right next to him.

And in those few seconds before the previous night’s events came back to crush me under the weight of utter humiliation, I think my instinct was to run before Taemin could notice. I hate admitting that after I swore in champagne-induced honesty that I would regret nothing.

A confession: I was not trying to run away from regret. I was trying to run from a terrifyingly unfamiliar sense of desire that I— well, just use your imagination or something.

I swept Taemin’s jacket off of the floor and pulled my phone out of the pocket, only to be greeted with a wall of missed calls from Lucas. Because it wasn’t even nine o’clock and we had no set schedule, to say that I was worried that Lucas was awake— let alone blowing my phone up— was an understatement.

I wasted no time in calling him back on my tiptoed sprint into Taemin’s bathroom.

Lucas answered as I set to removing last night’s smudged eyeliner with a cloth I found in a cabinet. “Where are you?” he asked in place of ‘hello.’

While I had been cognizant enough pre-champagne to text Mom that I was crashing at the SuperM house— careful to exclude the part about sleeping in Taemin’s bed— I hadn’t thought to check in with Lucas.

“The SuperM house,” I replied, sinking at the thought that he might have been worried about me. “Specifically, I’m hiding in my—” I was going to say ‘my boyfriend,’ but my mouth couldn’t quite form the word— “Taemin’s bathroom.”

“Your Taemin’s bathroom?” From the wave-like inflection in Lucas’s voice, I could envision his wiggling eyebrows. I imagined that his bright, teasing smile faded into a frown before he asked, “Wait, hiding? What are you hiding from?”

I was hiding from the fact that I had woken up half-naked in bed with a half-naked Taemin. I was hiding from the truth that had he not drawn a line in the sand, had he not been the first to close the door, I would have given him everything. All it took was a little bit of champagne for me to lose all sense of dignity, and I— why couldn’t I regret anything?

There was no way in hell I was going to say any of that to Lucas, though. Instead, I said, “I don’t want to wake Taemin while talking to you.” I was picking among truths.

Lucas’s silence carried his belief that I was hiding something, but I clung to my secrets. “Why did you call me a million times?”

“Oh yeah. That.” Lucas chuckled. “Heechul and Donghae—”

At their names, the two men felt compelled to bicker within Lucas’s earshot.

Lucas sighed, “Well, you’ll just have to come home to get a clear read on this situation.”

Eager for an excuse to race home before Taemin could see my scarlet cheeks and tempt me into lovesick decisions, I asked, “Do you need me to come home now?”

Lucas’s response was delayed. He probably knew that I was trying to run, so he took his time in carefully structuring his response. “I think Heechul and Donghae will still be here long after you spend time with Taemin.”

As if stirred awake by the most recent utterance of his name, Taemin knocked on the door. “Lei, jagi, are you in here?” His voice was raspy with fatigue.

“I’ll see you when you get home,” Lucas said before hanging up, leaving me to confront the tension that set butterflies ablaze in my gut.

Setting my phone down on the counter, I told Taemin, “It’s unlocked.”

When he walked through the doorway, I couldn’t look at him for long. He was still shirtless and much prettier now that he was awake and smiling at me. I couldn’t breathe.

While my gaze averted toward the white marble counter, he filled the space behind me, wrapped his arms around my waist, and pressed a soft kiss to my temple. He stood so close that the warmth of his bare skin radiated through the back of my (his) shirt.

“I thought you left,” he whispered, tightening his embrace, “before I could tell you again that I love you.”

The intimacy of this entire scene— being this close to Taemin after sleeping in his bed, wearing only his shirt over my undergarments, having spent and continuing to spend time in this place that was neither a hotel nor my bedroom but his space— burned me alive.

I said, “I love you too,” because I did even when I trembled like a leaf tempted to flutter away from the life-giving branch.

Taemin must have sensed my anxiety. His touch softened as his hand reached my chin, urging me to meet our reflection. “Look at us,” he breathed, and my eyes opened.

Our faces were swollen from sleep, and Taemin’s eyes were smudged by faint traces of makeup that he hadn’t wiped away the night before— the first night that he hadn’t prioritized his skincare routine— and my eyes were wide with some emotion that I can only describe as fear— but Taemin said, “We’re beautiful.”

Then, I saw the gentle, angelic smile that curved his lips— the lips I kissed a million times to claim as mine— and I saw the spark in his eyes, and I felt the way his chest rose and fell against my back. I saw that the blush burning my face was a pretty rosy pink that matched the color spread across every visible inch of his skin down to the fingertips, and I saw that the same spark in his eyes was alight in mine, and I felt that trembling at Taemin’s presence was okay. Trembling in Taemin’s embrace was the appropriate, proper, natural response.

He was right: we are beautiful.

“I’m happy,” I told him in case it wasn’t apparent from my sigh as I melted into him. “You should be the first person I see every morning.”

Taemin smiled before releasing me and walking to his cabinet. He returned to my side, offered me a toothbrush, and winked before brushing his teeth. “I usually am these days, aren’t I?”

His wink made my stomach do somersaults.

Tingling as I fit the toothbrush into my mouth, I shrugged. I thought long and hard before spitting into the sink and filling the morning air with the declaration, “I’m talking about forever, Taemin.”

Taemin blinked at me so many times that I thought the suds from his facewash had fallen into his eyes through his thick lashes. When he continued blinking after his face was rinsed and dried, I clarified, bold in my convictions despite his silence, “You should be the first person I see for the rest of forever. Or at least that’s what I think. At least that’s what I want.”

“I—” Taemin wheezed.

That’s when I started to panic: when Taemin fell into uncharacteristic silence. Leaning against the cold counter, I closed my eyes, rubbed my temples, and replayed all of our conversations. I knew that I hadn’t been the first to mention forever. Taemin was. Just last night at the party, just before he kissed me, he said that he would love me forever.

Had that been a sweet nothing with which to fill the silence? I knew that a lot of people say forever without meaning it, but I— I never have. I thought Taemin was like me: someone who feels the weight of forever. I didn’t think that he would say something like that just to say it, just to hear it said back, just to make me fall in love with a fairytale illusion.

I think I know enough of broken hearts to tell you that mine was shattered before Taemin wrapped his arms around me. His touch filled every void, healed every wound, and I knew how happy that rose was to have been held by him that night in our garden.

“You made me so happy just then,” he whispered in my ear, “that I forgot how to speak.”

Just like that, he mended and melted my heart. Just like that, he opened my eyes to his sincere smile, and I had to tell him, “You hold all of my heart in the palm of your hand, Taemin.”

He told me, still in a whisper pressed to my ear, “You hold all of mine too, Lei. Forever.”

Staring forever in the face didn’t seem so scary anymore.

Before I could even try to comb through the bird’s nest on my head, Taemin tightened his grip around my waist and lifted me off of the cold tiled floor, not quite high enough to trigger my fear of falling.

“Come on, jagi.” Once we stood in his bedroom, he motioned for me to climb onto his back. “ Let's make breakfast downstairs!”

Knowing well that— combined— Taemin and I had a total of about fifteen minutes’ worth of experience in the kitchen, I decided that it would be fun to visit unexplored territory with him. It would be like playing house, a game that hadn’t interested me since early childhood years in Grandma’s kitchen in Atlanta.

My ankle healed almost entirely overnight, so I didn’t need Taemin to carry me. I think I never needed him to carry me in the first place, but maybe I wanted him to. Maybe I liked having romantic k-drama moments with him when nobody could see and laugh and point out that I looked out of place in such a scene.

Because Taemin giggled loudly every time I dropped a kiss on his cheek, neck, or shoulders while descending the stairs, I didn’t hear any signs that Ten stood in the kitchen. Given that I was a guest in the SuperM house, I guess I should have been prepared to see another member at some point, but I would never have expected to see an outsider— a girl!

Before I hid my burning face in the crook of Taemin’s neck, I watched the girl trail her fingers down Ten’s arms, bare under his ruffled pink apron. I watched her long black hair fall over his shoulders as she tried to distract him from the sizzling stovetop with open-mouth kisses pressed to Ten’s jawline. All at once, I realized that both of them were almost completely naked.

All I could think was that the girl, even though I couldn’t see her face, was stunning in the way that she carried herself without any degree of shame.

Why couldn’t I be like that? Is shamelessness an inherent trait, or can one learn it and call it confidence?

I stifled my surprised gasp against the skin of Taemin’s shoulder, but Ten must have heard anyway. He somehow must have turned his eyes away from the girl long enough to find me clinging to Taemin at the foot of the stairs.

He said, “Hey, Lei!” in a bright tone that didn’t imply the embarrassment that would have seized me should anyone catch me in an intimate act with Taemin. “Have fun ringing in the new year?”

Although I couldn’t bring myself to meet Ten’s teasing gaze, I knew that he believed that a scene similar to the one playing out in the kitchen had played out in Taemin’s bedroom. Too embarrassed to speak even to try to correct him, I kept my eyes fixed on Taemin’s back as I straightened my legs, relieved by his willingness to let me go.

I hoped that Taemin was the only person who watched my dash through the front door, clad in only his shirt that— thankfully— reached my mid-thigh.

“Goodbye,” Taemin called after me through laughter. I was glad that he wasn’t offended that I left without breakfast. “I’ll call you later!”

To my further humiliation, Ten laughed too.

. . .

Had I been thinking clearly, I would have entered the house through my bedroom window instead of running around to the front door, shivering in the cold. It’s a miracle that I was greeted only by Lucas, who was too busy scribbling on a piece of paper on the coffee table to notice me until I closed the door with a soft click. It’s a miracle that Mom, Donghae, and Heechul were too involved in their discussion in the kitchen to notice that I stood in the living room, cheeks painted red by the winter wind and the vulnerability of existing only in Taemin’s shirt.

Rubbing at my temples, where a headache formed at Heechul’s sudden increase in volume, I groaned, “And here I thought we were finally at the happy ending.”

Lucas’s brow furrowed. He chewed on his chapped bottom lip as if he hadn’t heard me.

My frown was instinctual, a natural response to the absence of my best friend’s smile that accompanied every hello and brightened every day. “Are you okay?” My voice was gentle as I tiptoed to sit by his side. Reaching for the paper, the focus of his glare, I asked, “What are you drawing?”

No matter how intently I stared at the list of names and lines and hearts penned in rainbows of crayon colors, I couldn’t make out any picture until Lucas replied, voice raspy from a lack of sleep— maybe he tried and failed to fall asleep during the Super Junior New Years Afterparty— “Our family tree.”

At the top of the page was Mom written in pink, sandwiched between orange Donghae and red Heechul. Lines connected my name, a pretty shade of blue that reminded me of a daytime sky, and Lucas’s, a deep purple, to Mom’s to mark us as her children. Then, a line accented with hearts linked my name to Taemin’s, and almost illegible yellow, to define us as soulmates.

Below my name and Taemin’s was an unfamiliar title: “Lucas Tue,” written in green.

Cocking my head, I pointed to that foreign name. “Who’s that?”

The relief that overwhelmed me when Lucas broke his concentrated scowl to grin from ear to ear was shortlived. I choked on my breath when he explained, “That’s yours and Taemin’s baby! See how I wrote his name in green? That’s because he’s the perfect blend of you— blue— and Taemin— yellow!”

It was kind of cute that Lucas spent just as much time as I did (if not more) imagining a future with Taemin.

Rather than reminding Lucas that there was no baby or insisting him that there wouldn’t be one for quite some time, I asked, “Is this supposed to be an alternate spelling of, like, Lucas 2? As in, you expect me and Taemin to name our child after you?”

Lucas nodded eagerly. “I think it’s pretty clever. To make it less confusing, I propose we call the little ray of sunshine ‘Tue.’”

I blinked at Lucas, nearly on the verge of laughter. “If it’s really important to you, I’ll talk this over with Taemin, but my vote on this name suggestion is a resounding no.”

The wide-eyed offended expression that dashed across Lucas’s face easily gave way to a goofy grin as he swung his arm over my shoulder and ruffled a hand through my knotted hair. He laughed in my ear. “Aw! You want a baby with Taemin!” He cheered so loudly that Mom, Donghae, and Heechul should have heard.

I guess they didn’t, thank God, because none of them came barreling out of the kitchen.

“Cut it out!” I blushed as I wiggled out of Lucas’s embrace, inciting more teasing laughter. I flipped over the family tree so it couldn’t fluster me further. “Why are you drawing family trees anyway?”

“I’m trying to make sense of the world around me.” Lucas shrugged, staring blankly at the SpongeBob episode playing on the television. “Donghae is Mom’s boyfriend, but Heechul is the one who’s almost always here for dinner and dramas. Now that they’re both competing for roles in Mom’s life, I’m wondering which one is our dad.”

I gawked at Lucas. I was amazed by his genuine sense of confusion.

“Neither is our dad,” I said, thinking that should have been obvious. Instead of reminding Lucas that Mom was my Mom like I probably did at the dawn of our friendship, I told him, “Family units don’t need strict clear cut roles, you know. All that matters is that we’re happiest when we’re together. Donghae and Heechul should realize that they don’t have to compete for a place in Mom’s life and ours by extension.”

Lucas folded our family tree into a paper airplane as he considered my perspective. Pursing his lips, he conceded, “You’re probably right.”

I tugged my knees toward my chest. Crossing my arms and laying my head against the bend of my elbow, I breathed in the scent of roses on Taemin’s shirt. My shirt. The shirt I would keep (probably) forever.

“I’m almost always right,” I boasted, sending Lucas an uncharacteristic wink. I don’t know what was wrong with me. Happiness makes me weird.

“Yeah, yeah.” Lucas rolled his eyes even as he grinned. His eyebrows pinched together as he gathered the fabric of my sleeve between his fingers. “Hey, where’d you get this shirt?”

The resurfacing memories — the memories that I admit never once sunk below the surface, if I’m entirely honest— of Taemin from that morning and last night and every night passed that he had stolen my heart piece by piece struck me speechless. I couldn’t explain that the shirt once belonged to him while my heart swelled in my chest, knotting my throat and stomach and everything in its path.

While I struggled to breathe, Lucas’s eyes trailed down to my legs. His eyes nearly popped out of his head, and I almost wanted to laugh at his expression, but I was suddenly far too embarrassed to do anything but hide my face in my cloud-soft sleeve.

“Lei!” Lucas shrieked in a whisper because he didn’t want to attract attention from our parental figures. “What happened to your pants?”

All I said was, “Shut up, Lucas,” too mortified to meet his gaze.

Rather than staying to endure his interrogation, which I knew even in the darkest depths of embarrassment was genuine well-intentioned curiosity, I stood, pulled the bottom hem of Taemin’s shirt as far down my thighs as it would go, and ran upstairs to my bedroom. Somehow, I went undetected by Mom, Donghae, and Heechul.

Believe me: I appreciated that freedom while it lasted.

Until I was alone behind the closed door, stepping into white pajama pants that were a little too big because they once belonged to Lucas, it didn’t occur to me that my silence might have been damaging to my reputation. Yes, I thought of my reputation even with Lucas. No, I really hadn’t changed from the paranoid principled person I had been at the start of this tale. I’m sorry.

My silence implied that there was a scandalous reason why my dress laid on Taemin’s floor. Whatever scene Lucas imagined when I ran up the stairs was probably similar to whatever Ten imagined when he found me at the foot of the stars.

I can’t tell you why I squirmed at that thought. I should have been comforted by the reality that a.) nothing that scandalous happened beyond eternal kisses and an embarrassing game of rock-paper-scissors and b.) I wouldn’t have taken it back for anybody if something that scandalous had happened beyond eternal kisses and an embarrassing game of rock-paper-scissors.

But I wasn’t comforted. My stomach coiled with the realization that people thought I threw away every rule and reservation for Taemin.

It was true. With ease, Taemin walked through every door, even the ones I swore I locked. He made me want to fall face-first into the sky, but you probably couldn’t tell from my forced grip around the safety rail, ever submissive to the fear of falling alone, still scared that he couldn’t catch me even if he fulfilled his promise to try.

No longer consumed by the tension between Mom and Donghae because I could hear their laughter interrupting Heechul’s rant about who-knows-what, no longer distracted by the demands of the tour, my only thought was Taemin. And it wasn’t because we finally shared our first million kisses or because he was unashamed to lay shirtless by my side or because he set me on fire with his touch.

Taemin pervaded every idle daydream because of those moments when he made me feel safe. Maybe all I ever wanted was security, and I found it in his steady heartbeat. Maybe I found it in the way his shirt hugged me and made my skin smell like roses. Maybe I could never let go.

Maybe I hated that Ten could pervert pure love with his playful smirk. Maybe I never bothered to correct him by explaining that bond formed in the garden— which exceded the limits of all words anyway— for fear of misunderstanding or seeming as vulnerable as I had always been behind my mask.

Maybe I was shy, and maybe I always would be, but there was— is— there is a part of me that wants to shout from every rooftop that I will be forever in love with Taemin because every moment is like that first in the garden. A part of me wants to tell everyone that everything else, every hand held and kiss shared and love-stained word whispered in the dark has been an act of gratitude because he saw me.

Taemin saw me. Taemin loved me.

And sometimes, I realize that I still don’t know how to thank him or God or fate or the universe or whoever I’m supposed to thank for miracles.

I was contemplating this, my blooming garden of miracles, when Taemin’s voice filled my quiet room. “I have something for you, jagi.”

My scream would have brought Heechul and Donghae racing up the stairs (likely bickering about who gets to obliterate the demon serial burglar who dared to burst through my window in broad daylight) had Taemin not silenced it with a long kiss as he climbed onto my bed, where I had been laying with my eyes closed.

“Here you go.” He dropped a rose— the fragmented one from the party, which I must have forgotten somewhere again— onto my pillow. It landed by the crook of my neck and tickled my skin with its petals.

“Thank you,” I smiled.

Before Taemin could secure me in the embrace I never wanted to wake from, I walked over to my vanity. Catching my cheerful blush in the mirror, only briefly meeting Taemin’s gaze through the glass, I fit the rose into the vase with all of the others. “What about Baekhyun’s flower crown, my dress, and my heels?”

“They’re in my room.” Taemin kicked his shoes off onto the floor and rolled onto his back to lay his head on one of my pillows. “I can only carry so much when I scale up the side of your house.”

Something in his childish tone made me laugh as I crossed the distance back to him. “Noted, Taem. If climbing is such a struggle for you, why don’t you just come in through the front door?”

It was impossible, unrealistic, the dream that we could ever love out in the open, but I think I wanted it. I wanted to live in the world where we didn’t have to watch our shadows, look around every corner, lock every closed door. I just didn’t know how to get there, and I couldn’t ask Taemin to lead me to a place that didn’t exist.

Taemin winked. “Isn’t it more fun this way? Sneaking around like we have something to hide—” he sat up to whisper in my ear, unable to see the goosebumps that formed down my arms concealed by his shirt— “isn’t it exciting?”

My face burned, but I didn’t shrink away from Taemin’s voice or the kiss he placed on my cheek as my gaze fell onto my hands pressed flat in my lap. Breathless because of his proximity, I was almost too bashful to admit in my faintest whisper, “Everything is exciting with you, my Taemin.”

“Look at me.” His command was more of a desperate plea.

When I couldn’t obey, not even to see his brilliant smile, because all of me was on fire, Taemin dropped to his knees before me as he had in one of our American hotel rooms once upon a time.

It couldn’t have happened just a few months ago. A few months is too short to contain an infinity. And yet, my love for Taemin existed outside of time, perhaps owing to the years of admiring him as an idol from afar, or the decades of secretly dreaming that somebody like him existed and was bound to come my way on some unforeseen river rapid, or maybe—

Maybe owing to the soul bond signified by the blue ribbon on his wrist.

“Lei,” Taemin said my name so beautifully, “there’s no reason to be embarrassed. You can look into my eyes and call me yours because it’s true.” His hands cupped my cheeks like he expected me to burst into tears.

I didn’t want to cry, though. I only wanted to smile. So I did.

“Really?” I probably looked like a baby staring down at him with eyes blown wide with wonder, but I don’t mind. I don’t mind being vulnerable with him. “You don’t think I’m moving too quickly or being too clingy, or—”

Taemin’s peel of laughter made me laugh too. He said, “Honestly, I think you should move as quickly as you want. You can be clingier. I told you, I like it when you’re like this. Do it more, please?”

It was almost impossible to deny him when he looked at me like that, like I was his favorite part of the world. I crumbled. I fell a little deeper. I wanted to be anything he wanted, knowing that all he wanted was me unrestrained.

I told him, “It’s hard to hold back from you.”

Returning to my side to hold me even though the sun was casting its rays across our faces, he urged, “Then don’t.”

But I— I had to hold some parts for myself, right? I had to keep some things locked in that internal box so they would be intact should a storm blow through and destroy everything or— worse— should he gather his things, including the pieces of me, to continue on his separate way. I— I had to at least be able to tell my future self that I tried to prepare for the worst.

“Please,” I begged, reaching for the television remote on my nightstand to downplay my reference, “don’t say things like that when I’m trying to do the right thing.”

I tried to ignore the ensuing silence and distract myself from Taemin’s stare by flicking through a thousand boring channels.

Taemin didn’t react well to losing my attention. He moved to sit before me, deliberately blocking the television so that there was no choice but to meet his eyes despite the resurgence of butterflies.

“So,” he laughed bashfully when I raised my eyebrows. His hand rubbed at the back of his neck. “You remember— um— that?”

I nodded, blushing mainly because he blushed first. I picked at a button on my shirt. “I remember well enough to quote it.”

All he said was, “Oh,” before he crawled back to my side and pressed his back to the headboard.

I didn’t know what to say or what to make of his “Oh,” which was over too quickly to carry any tone with which to gauge his thoughts. Turning my gaze, which followed Taemin everywhere, to the television, I hoped (as always) that the tension would disappear— or at least stop growing— if I didn’t acknowledge it.

It was like I hadn’t learned anything from my journey of self-discovery. And why? Because I was blushing? Was my hard-won strength really so fragile?

No.

Having outgrown foolish, childish coping mechanisms, I rolled my eyes at myself and admitted that it was unfair to leave all silences for Taemin to break just because I was afraid to accidentally shatter something that never should have been mine. I read once that progress isn’t always linear, so I kept that in mind when meeting Taemin’s eyes.

He had gotten there first. He was watching me. Waiting for me. Quietly. Patiently. Maybe he knew that it was my turn to speak first.

“I don’t regret anything that happened last night,” I admitted in one breath. “Maybe I should because I have never kissed anybody like that before, and I’ve definitely never taken my dress off in front of anyone before. I don’t know how much I should blame the champagne, but I know I acted like a fool. The problem— if you can really call it a problem, and I know you wouldn’t— is that I don’t mind being a fool for you.”

If Lionel Ritchie and Diana Ross could sing that in “Endless Love,” then I could say it to Taemin. Or at least that’s what I told myself.

Taemin beamed at my honesty as he always did. Sensing that it was safe to do so, he draped an arm over my shoulders and pulled me into his side. Normally, nobody lies to feel small, but I was comfortable sinking into his embrace.

He said, “I don’t regret last night either,” apparently forgetting his apologetic efforts to get our night back on track after we screamed. “I never regret any moment shared with you. I kinda thought you were adorable, to be honest.”

“Adorable?” I scoffed through my grin. “You define things weirdly.”

“Nuh-uh,” Taemin argued with the shake of his head. “It’s cute when you cling to me and tell me that you love me more than the sun, the moon, and all the stars. Adorable!”

Blushing at the restatement of my ramblings, I said, “I’m not arguing with you. Things like cuteness and beauty are subjective, so—”

I was going to say that he just had weird taste by my standards, but Taemin interrupted. “Not this time! Objectively, my composed, dignified Lei is graceful— my emotionally expressive Lei looking up at the moon is beautiful— and my carefree, affectionate, drunk-on-kisses-and-champagne Lei—”

Composed and dignified once more, if even for a fleeting second, I interjected, “I was not drunk.”

But Taemin didn’t so much as dignify that with a pointed argumentative look. “You were precious last night. I was happy to see you without a worry in the world even if it was a once in a lifetime event I play over and over again like our first kiss or meeting in the garden or receiving your ribbon.”

Oh, I smiled, so he revisits our memories too.

Because I had been dying to know for as long as he wore my ribbon and I couldn’t remember if I was ever brave enough to ask, I seized the chance to wonder out loud, “Why do you love me, Taemin?”

I didn’t doubt him. At that point, I would have believed any beautiful lie he wanted to tell. I just— maybe this is vain, but I loved to hear what he thought of me spoken into the world.

Taemin glanced away from his ribbon, which I traced with my free hand, or at our interlaced fingers— whichever he was studying— to fix all of his attention on my curious stare. His eyes didn’t widen in surprise; they crinkled joyfully like I had finally stumbled upon the question he longed to receive because he held the perfect answer.

“Come close,” he said, feeling as I did that sitting hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder, was not nearly enough, “and I’ll tell you.”

At his command, I leaned closer like I wanted to all along.

A shiver ran down my spine when he whispered in my ear, “Beauty aside, you’re the gentlest spirit in the whole world. You always walk on your toes, and you look both ways before crossing the street, and you’re sensitive to every change in the wind, and you burn brighter than the sun, but you never try to mark anybody with your flame.”

I hummed, perplexed that anybody could equate me, the girl who found her reflection on the moon, with something like the bold and beautiful sun. I didn’t argue with Taemin, though. I was too lost in his voice to find mine. I thought that his worldview was more beautiful than mine, and I imagined that by holding him and hearing him I could live in his world.

Deep down, I think I always wanted to live by the sun. Maybe Taemin didn’t see me how I was— he definitely didn’t see me as I saw myself— but he saw me as I wanted to be.

He continued, “You think you’re as mysterious as the moon and stars. Sometimes, I want to let you believe that because they’re your idols and I know why. It’s because they taught you how to shine in the dark. I understand, but— even if you’re a mystery to yourself and the people who haven’t been lucky enough to hold the sun— you’re not a mystery to me.”

“Taemin,” I wanted to say, but I couldn’t speak.

“I see you clearly,” Taemin boasted, wearing this smile that was childlike in its beauty like seeing me in this figurative sense gave him an advantage over every other person in the world. “I always have. How could I not love you with all of my heart?”

“Taemin,” I finally breathed raggedly because his name was the only thing to say.

Still, he wasn’t finished speaking. He could have talked forever, and I would have listened forever. He pointed out the window. Because he drew the curtains on his way in, I had to squint through the blinding light to find our garden off in the distance.

“Notice how I told you all of that in the sunlight?” He tugged me closer and sat me between his legs, clad in black sweatpants, so that my back was pressed to his chest. Holding tight around my waist, almost squeezing the air out of my diaphragm because it wasn’t enough to steal my breath with his words, he laid his head on my shoulder and hummed, “We’re not a dream. We don’t melt or fade in the sunlight, so you don’t have to be afraid for the night to end anymore. I mean it when I say forever, and I don’t mind saying it again and again until that word doesn’t scare you.”

“Taemin,” I breathed again. I was tempted to lie that I wasn’t afraid— which really wasn’t much of a lie when he held me. I almost wanted to tell him that I wasn’t afraid of a forever with him; I was afraid of anything less.

Because there was no room in the air for my fears, I said neither of those things. Cutting my eyes at him, holding absolutely no malice or genuine desire for him to stop, I said, “You’re making my chest hurt. I can’t breathe when you talk like this.”

“Last night,” he reminded me with a smile and the subtle raising of his eyebrows, “you said that you love when I talk to you like this.”

I did. I do.

He would never forget anything that I said on New Year's Eve, and I wouldn’t either. I’ve read that major life events result in a new perspective on life. There is life before the incident, and then there is life after. The incident shines a new light on everything that happened prior, and the incident is woven intricately into the understanding of the present.

Giving Taemin my ribbon was one such incident. Crying with him in the garden was another. New Year's Eve, with all of its kisses and clumsy attempts at intimacy, carried the latest collection of incidents.

True to who he had been since he started wearing the ribbon, Taemin didn’t stop pouring his heart out on me in overflowing portions just so I could catch my breath. He laid us down, holding me flush against his body so I couldn't shiver because of the winter wind blowing in through the open window; I couldn’t hide should the compulsion strike again; I couldn't mistake his sincerity; I couldn’t think to the future beyond his palms pressed to mine and his heart pounding with mine and his lips dancing with mine.

I never thought that anything could better express the soul than words, poetry, a diary addressed to a most beloved friend, a metaphor, music, the piano, the violin, a voice in a foreign tongue that carries your darkest fears into the light that recolors them dreams, a lifelong glance at a sky of moon and stars, watching the sea run and return to the shore at the moon’s command, but Taemin’s kiss. Taemin’s kiss.

It’s strange to say that I found more of myself there than anywhere else. Is that what it means to be soulmates? I don’t know, but I’m going to believe that the answer is yes even if that makes me a fool. Don’t tell me if I’m wrong or delusional or walking in a dream.

e.e. cummings was right: ‘kisses are a better fate than wisdom.’

My thoughts were tangled and blurred, but I remember thinking that I couldn’t breathe, but it would have been harder to breathe if he should ever go away. I remember sighing, relieved that we laid on my bed (that wasn’t nearly as cloud soft as his) because my legs were jelly and I almost certainly couldn’t stand. I remember thinking that this— being with Taemin— was what it felt like to fly.

And I didn’t know how to stop— I didn’t want to stop— so I flew with him until the sun descended and the stars and moon, my old friends, ascended in its place.

And that’s how Mom found us: impossibly close and still, still too far apart.

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i-think-i-luv-ya · 4 years

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Gunshot - KARD M/V Review Rant

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I’m at it again with another so called review, when in reality its just a whole essay on my thoughts of my favorite artist’s comebacks, aka a rant lol. If you haven’t seen Gunshot, GO WATCH IT! I promise it’s amazing and this is one of their best songs/videos/comebacks etc. I have attached the video so no excuses! Also this is a lot of spoilers so don’t read this first it will ruin the shock and awe that is this video. And putting the “keep reading” to contain said spoilers and so ya’ll who don’t wanna read this don’t have to scroll endlessly to reach the end of my rambling.

Hi! Hello! Thank you for continuing reading! Lolol my Taemin 2KIDZ review actually got notes which was surprising, so hope you guys like this. I have a lot to say so here we go...

So first I wanna start on the meaning of the song. On his VLIVE BM said the song is about verbal abuse and how detrimental it can be to your mental health. Considering many pop songs, especially kpop, are all very cheery and upbeat I applaud them for covering such a serious topic in a way that’s not sad and slow. PLUS BM is creating new merch called healers where everything will be donated to an organization that fights against bullying (including homophobia and racism) which is incredible so be sure to check that out when it’s dropped.

So on that note I wanna get into the song itself. Let’s start with lyrics. The song starts with the words “LOVE damn 4 letters” like what a perfect way to start a song. Also the way they blend a lot more English into this song is something I love as a non-Korean speaker. Plus the parts in English are so powerful? Well so are the Korean lyrics. Like KARD you guys just went hard with this whole song. The chorus is literally “You words are like a gunshot, I’m bleeding love”. Just wow. That definitely describes verbal abuse perfectly, especially coming from those you love because it’s those cruel words from loved ones that hurt the most. I mean “the words you spit out kill me like bullets”, how else is there to describe that pain because it fucking sucks. Other lyrics that just show the words are coming from the one you love: “As long as you love me, the good or the ugly, everything is okay” as well as “I won’t surrender my darling”. And this relationship is obviously toxic with words like “Selfish I will never be enough even when I pour out all of myself” and “It’s like you control me, without you I’m lonely” and “So far you’ve concealed the true color” and “Without you dying slowly”. And they clearly have had enough with this abuse with lyrics like “Need to drag myself out of there, remove you from my life, take off the tag you” and “They hit me like a gunshot, I’ve bled enough”.

Now into the sound of the song. It has all the classic KARD elements: it has a powerful sound with the instrumentals, it’s faced paced, it’s something you can dance to, and it has that chorus that slows down then just picks up again. But this song just sounds very different than anything they’ve released before? Not in a bad way, since this is probably one of their best songs. Between the lyrics, the vocals, and the overall sound where the music just doesn’t completely take over like in some of their other songs. Don’t get me wrong I love songs like BOMB BOMB, but it was very loud and a lot happening in the song at once. Which isn’t a bad thing, cuz that’s like the perfect club song. But with this song (and the whole album really) it shows them refining their sound. Also they had a lot more involvement with this song, especially BM who did everything from lyrics to producing which probably has a lot to do with it. The music itself just goes perfectly with the vocals. Just the flow is really nice, and the beat is fun, and them gun shots really just add to it. And can we talk about that breakdown when BM is like “1 shot, 2 shot, 3 shot, 4″? Like what??!! Those sirens and everything just ramps up just before it ends, like yaasssss.

Now the music video! It starts with Jiwoo zipping up a body bag...which just sets the tone for the video cuz it’s like ok this is how it starts lets see how tf we got here. Then you find out at the end it Jiwoo zipping up the body bag of...well Jiwoo lol like WHAT THE FUCK?! (I’ll get into this here in a sec). Anyway in terms of the video it also has some classic KARD elements like the choreography that’s very intense and dramatic, the bright colors, the flashes and lasers, some crazy stuff happening, and some really cool props and visuals (not just the members lol). Other common stuff is the piles of technology surrounding them, especially J.seph. Like in Red Moon, there’s cameras and old televisions around them. This time the video starts with them being surrounded by cameras and J.seph has a pile of old computer monitors. There may be some meaning with this, but I don’t get it but think it’s an interesting theme. Perhaps its an analogy for them being constantly watched and put on every screen, like showing a darker side of being a celebrity (also will get into this in a minute when I talk about interesting interpretations and theories).

Also this video gave me suicide squad vibes. Like Jiwoo with them pony tails and the way her makeup was done resembled Harley Quinn. And idk BM gave me Joker vibes (may be due to the coloring of his teeth), BUT he also gave me Harley vibes with the blue and pink coloring of his blonde hair (which is just an amazing look for him). Then BM was just covering everything in black, Jiwoo is just fucking shit up, Somin is ready to cut a bitch, and J.seph is burning shit up as usual (just like BOMB BOMB, so another parallel). Everyone looked good in this video...like they are all such great visuals. Somin looked like a queen as always with the jewelry and everything (they always do that and she looks stunning). Jiwoo pulls of that outfit with those threads everywhere, like that would drive me crazy yet she looks amazing. Blonde BM is truly a look. And J.seph? I think this was the best he’s looked in any video...maybe its the dark hair and clothes paired with those light contacts that just make his eyes stand out. Idk but looks good, all of them! Even with all those slashes to their faces! Also this video is a lot less sexualized, especially with the girls but that’s a whole other topic for another day.

So we know this song is about verbal abuse. I talked about how it could be from someone you love. Obviously the cuts on their faces are caused by the words and pain inflicted on them, until eventually its more than just lashes but a full on gunshot killing them completely. An interesting theory I read is this is a song to their fans, or really people just leaving hate comments. Again you can draw from the cameras and screens how their whole life is recorded, and how they are trying their best pouring their heart and soul into their music when they get all this hate and criticism. So these “shots” hurt the most when it comes from their fans. Also going with this concept, Jiwoo shooting herself could be killing who she is to be who they want her to be. Although there’s so many interpretations, especially to the ending. Like it could be her killing the weaker and darker part of herself (like the part of herself willing to put up with the abuse out of love), so by killing that part of her she is free. BUT, could this “winner” be that dark part of herself killing who she used to be? This could also be killing that pain, but by embracing it and letting it morph you into something darker like a person embracing that evil and using it to make themselves stronger and protect themselves. OR she is causing this pain on herself, it’s her own words are the insecurities and lack of love to herself that is affecting her until she ends up just killing herself (not literally but figuratively). Idk so many ideas and interpretations to the ending alone. Plus we have them all just spreading this darkness and anger (like BM literally painting everything black, which is symbolic into spreading darkness). But ya this video was amazing, the visuals were stunning and the song is just great.

The rest of the album (all 2 songs...hope they release more) was just as incredible. Hold On is a farewell to J.seph who will be enlisting soon, and omg that made me cry. So J.seph you better keep your promise and return soon because we’ll be holding on and waiting for you babe! This song was also really slow (at least for a KARD song) which just shows you they can be diverse in their music. Plus just the contrast of the verses (which are just super powerful) with the chorus (which is very melodic) was great. And with AH EE YAH, like that was so nice to listen to and its a cool mix between old music with that beat it starts with, to newer music especially with the way they rap. So, shows they have a lot of influences and it also shows a different side to KARD.

Overall I think it’s a great comeback (idk what else they have planned but hoping for some new stuff because I’ve missed them so much). Please go show support and stream Gunshot and listen to the mini album! They are so talented and deserve so much more recognition. They have such hope with this comeback, but yet they still are like “we’re never gonna be number 1″ and that just breaks my heart. So show your support, hopefully they can get a win this year or just something big happen for them because they deserve it!! So that is the end of my rant...back to watching this video for the 100th time we go!!

#let me know what you think if you read my entire paper lol #alyssa kpop rant #BM #j.seph #jeon somin #jeon jiwoo #kard #hidden kard #kpop #gunshot #gunshot kard #kard comeback #bm kard #j.seph kard #jiwoo kard #somin kard

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dailyexo · 4 years

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[INTERVIEW] Baekhyun, Kai - 191217 Vice: “SuperM are the Avengers of K-pop”

"It’s a November evening at New York’s Madison Square Garden. Even though the house lights are still on, the excitement is palpable in the voices of twenty thousand fans singing along to every background track as though it were the main attraction. The reason for that enthusiasm is currently underneath the stage: in a few moments, K-pop supergroup SuperM will rise, veiled in smoke and clad in black and silver, to finish the first leg of their sold out We Are The Future Live tour.

Formed by SM Entertainment (one of the ‘Big 3’ record labels in K-pop) in partnership with Capitol Records, the group -- quickly dubbed ‘the Avengers of K-pop’ -- is made up of seven members from four other already wildly successful groups SHINee, EXO, NCT 127 and WayV. SuperM’s eponymous debut EP, with its lead single “Jopping”, dropped on October 4th, followed by a Los Angeles showcase that shut down Hollywood streets and was live streamed worldwide. Just a week later, they celebrated a historical no.1 on the Billboard 200 -- making them the first ever K-pop artists to hit the top spot with a debut release.

It’s worth noting that SM has experimented with supergroups and ‘special units’ before, but these are typically temporary and Korea-centric -- a live performance here, a special single there. SuperM, as you’ll likely have noticed, has been aimed directly at the international market since the very beginning. In harnessing their individual strengths and fandoms -- all members maintain their roles in their original groups as well as their solo careers -- SM have formed a group with effectively 14 million collective albums sales and almost four billion music video views to its name before it even started. United in this way, the artists bring a new kind of energy that fans are lapping up. Just two months on from release, the video for "Jopping" already has over 47 million views.

So who are these seven members?

Taemin, the 26-year-old industry veteran among them, debuted in 2008 with SHINee. Fans watched on as he grew from a shy teenager to a fearless artist who is now famously looked up to by his peers. Baekhyun, the eldest and designated leader of the team at 27, is one of EXO's lead vocalists, known for his cheekiness. Then there’s Kai, also from EXO, who happens to be spellbinding, ballet-trained performer. Taeyong, one of NCT's main rappers and lyricists, is something of an enigma. His full-time bandmate Mark, the youngest of the supergroup at 20 years old, also helps out on the rap front. Completing the line-up are two NCT members who are also part of their Chinese subunit, WayV: Ten, a multitalented Thai artist, and Lucas, a Hong-Kong born heartthrob.

We caught up with the group to discuss how they deal with nerves, feeling like rookies again, and the new releases they've got planned for 2020.

Hi SuperM! During your debut showcase back in October you mentioned being nervous. Has the US tour been less nerve-wracking?

Taeyong: First off, it’s been so great to be back as SuperM to perform in front of all our US fans! We’re having so much fun. It was less nerve-wracking because now we’re a lot more comfortable with each other and had much more time to practice and perform together than we did for the debut showcase.

How was the process of connecting with each other, since you come from different groups but have known each other for years?

Kai: I think all of us were very open to each other, wanting to get closer. Despite already having a senior-junior relationship, we were all open to teaching each other and we had a lot of great conversations. I personally tried to connect to the rest of the guys like an older brother from the neighbourhood. We joke around a lot and have fun together.

What's one thing you learned from each other so far?

Ten: We’ve been learning so much from each other in many different aspects, but if I had to choose one thing, it’s probably music. We all come from distinct music styles, so it’s cool to learn from each other when we’re together. It makes me look forward to every day.

Can you tell us how you prepared for this tour?

Mark: Our preparation time was more limited than we would have liked, so we were very committed those sparse days we got together. We rehearsed in various ways: for example, we built a replica of the stage at a gym to rehearse, and of course we rehearsed at the actual venue as well. The energy was always really good.

What was your first impression of "Jopping", both as a track and as a word?

Mark: The strong SMP [SM's signature genre, a blend of pop, rock, R&B and hip-hop with bold choreography] vibe struck me the most. I could feel how vast the track was just by listening to it, including the depth it held. I honestly believed that it was the right song for SuperM's debut. As for the word, I thought it was a good idea. It fits the energy we wanted to deliver as a message and it felt cool to be introducing the world to a new word of our own.

You all perform solo stages at the concert. Which is your favourite and why?

Ten: Everyone is obviously so amazing, so it’s hard to choose one. But if I really just had to choose, I’d choose Taemin’s solo stage. In just five minutes, he showcases his vocal abilities through “Danger”, then kills it for the choreography and overall performance aspect during “Goodbye”. As I watch him perform, I can’t help but to think that he is one of the most impressive all-around artists out there. I hope to be an artist like that someday.

You guys have clearly launched with a unique strategy. What other innovations do you want to make in the industry?

Taeyong: It’s been really cool to be given the opportunity to be part of something new and innovative like this. As a team and as individuals, we all want to showcase new and innovative stages and performances to our fans. It’s been a fun journey working together and figuring out how to showcase our styles within our performances on this tour, both as a group and individuals. We hope to continue to bring fresh new ideas as artists who perform on stage.

You all have years of experience behind you, but with SuperM you are technically rookies again. What advice would you give to your younger selves?

Baekhyun: I do think of us as rookies again as SuperM. And the synergy we’re able to create with this specific combination of members makes for a whole new set of charms. If I were able to give advice to my younger self, I’d definitely tell him to continue to work hard, because people will notice you as long as you try your best.

Can fans expect another official release from SuperM soon?

Mark: I don't want to give out any spoilers, but we did perform two new songs during the tour already. Fans may already be expecting another comeback and I want to assure them that we are currently working on new things to show our fans. We are trying our best to create something that will meet or maybe even exceed our fans' expectations. Hope they like it.

What are your expectations for 2020?

Taemin: Because we’ll be back in the U.S. promoting for the tour, I’m excited about experiencing all the different cultures and famous spots at the different regions we’re headed. And of course I’m so excited to see all our fans there!

Mark, in NCT 127's recent interview you jokingly said that you came from the future. Now SuperM's tour name is We Are the Future. What does this mean to you?

Mark: I believe that "future" is and has always been the motto and the mindset of everyone at our label. Whatever it may be, we all try to focus on the next step and make plans for what's ahead of us. Our aspiration is to lead the generation through our music and art.

SuperM have just announced their European 2020 tour, stopping off in Paris on 26 February and London on 28 February."

Credit: Vice.

#EXO #EXO K #Baekhyun #Kai #191217 #t:news #fs:vice #comeback:Obsession

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onewfantaesy · 4 years

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I imagine that once he's in high school Taemin is quite a celebrity himself. Maybe by doing part time jobs as model. Or winning national competition in programming or something. Or he has a line of toys released, where the ideas came to him as the byproduct of tinkering his (and Minho's) tools and gadgets since long time ago.

Taemin has done some modeling in super bats au, but it was mainly in the form of posing for magazine shoots he was in with Minho. He wasn’t an actual model by any stretch of the imagination. But then when he’s in high school and he’s finally allowed to have a cell phone, he creates an Instagram account that blows up overnight. And suddenly agents are contacting Minho to get him signed, to do this promotion, that promotion, these commercials, those magazine spreads. He had always been a little celebrity, but before he had been so unattainable.

Taemin even starts posting sponsored ads on Instagram. It’s mainly for clothes or shoes or snack foods or sports brands. But it’s insane. Minho’s own publicist takes Taemin on as an official client. Everything goes through her and Minho before Taemin is even allowed to look at an offer.

It makes tons of teenage girls around the country lose their minds, Miss Martian included.

“Oh my gosh, he is so adorable!” she squeals one afternoon. “Didn’t I tell you guys he was so adorable? Look at him now!”

“Do you follow him on Instagram?” Amber teases, knowing that Taemin is currently trying to hold back a blush.

“Obviously.” Then she pulls out her phone to go sit between Amber and Aqualad and show them Taemin’s Instagram. “Look at him! Adorable. They grow up so fast.”

“Is every single post an ad?” Aqualad scoffs. “What a sellout.”

Taemin can’t help it - he scoffs. Everyone turns to him. He starts stammering and stuttering and holds his hands up.

“Maybe,” he says slowly, “he just doesn’t post a lot in general?”

Kai snorts.

“I’m leaving,” Taemin announces, fumbling to get off the couch. “See ya guys next week.”

“What about Friday?” Miss Martian asks, sounding sad. “You’re gonna miss training again?”

“School stuff,” Taemin says quickly. “You know how the bat is about that sorta thing.”

“Oh, alright,” Miss Martian sighs. “Have fun then!”

“Oh yeah, loads of fun,” he scoffs, purposely dragging his feet all the way to the zeta tubes.

He does not have a school thing on Friday, actually. He has a photoshoot and a filming for his parents’ cafe, which he is now officially the face of. Taemin is a bit weary about filming an actual commercial with an actual script, but Minho (who’s been in many) assured him it’s not really that bad.

Taemin and Naeun also become their class’s student ambassadors for Gotham Academy. They’re in multiple commercials, newspaper and magazine ads, as well as online ads. This includes multiple YouTube ads that play at the beginning of videos, as well as Spotify and other music streaming ads that play between songs. Taemin absolutely hates hearing his own voice in the middle of training when someone free Spotify account goes to an ad. It’s usually Amber’s, since hers is the only one that makes sense to get an ad for Gotham Academy. He can’t believe Miss Martian - or any other teammate, for that matter - hasn’t recognized his voice in the ads. Although he does tend to make his voice little more gravelly when he’s Robin (a trait he picked up early on from mimicking Batman).

When the commercials for the cafe come on every so often at Mount Justice, though, Miss Martian always giggles.

“Amber! You should take me there one day!” Miss Martian insists. “Do you know where it is?”

“Yeah, I’ve been there a couple times,” Amber says. “It’s pretty good. They have the best pastries, actually.”

That makes Taemin smile. A real, genuine little smile. All the pastry recipes had been his mother’s. He thought they were the best, too.

“Oh, and Kai! You know Taemin, right? Can you get him to meet us?”

“I dunno about that,” Kai admits. “He’s a busy guy.”

“Please?”

“I’ll ask him,” he says. “But no promises.”

“Oooh, thank you!”

Taemin doesn’t show up to meet the team as himself for obvious reasons. But his face is plastered all over the cafe, but not in the way Miss Martian had expected. There’s a wall of family photos, newspaper clippings about the cafe, all that cute family owned type thing. They’d been there for as long as Taemin could remember, adorning the brick wall on the right side of the cafe. It was sweet, if not a little sad when people realized the parents were both dead. But there were a few pictures of Minho and Taemin at the cafe: standing outside of it together, making a drink together, baking together. It was nice. Added to the family feel of the cafe.

“So how was the coffee shop place?” Taemin asks the next time he meets the team.

“Oh, it was wonderful!” Miss Martian gushes. “The coffee was great, the food was great, the whole place is just the cutest! You’re from Gotham, haven’t you ever been?”

“Maybe once or twice,” Taemin shrugs. “Maybe I’ll check it out again.”

“Oh you should! It really was great. They even have live performances on weekend nights, we got to see one!”

“Oh, that’s cool!”

Taemin is glad they all enjoyed it. It gives him a strange sense of pride.

#taemin #shinee #minho #kai #amber #hello anon #super bats au

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kpopplayroom · 4 years

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The Guest || Taemin (S)

"This annoying motherfu-"

"Hello sir how may I been of assistance" she tried your hardest not glare at the man who stood in front of her

"Could you bring me up lunch?" her smile fell slightly but she quickly composed yourself

"I'm just a receptionist, I'll have one of the wait staff assist you" he frowned

"I prefer you" he smirked

Her head fell with a nervous chuckle. She took a small breath and looked up at him again.

"I'll have to ask my boss" he leaned over the counter

"I'll ask him" she cocked her head ro the side

She stood at the back of your boss fuming, this man actually called your boss. Knowing her boss she'd be stuck with this man for as long as he wanted

"You're job is to keep this man happy, whatever he wants give it to him. I'm counting on you" her face fell

"This isn't my job" her boss glared at her

"It is now" you took a few deep breaths and walked over to her hell

"I'm all yours" he looked around the lobby

"Let's go back to my room" she raised a brow but followed him hesitantly

This was the first time you'd ever been in the penthouse suite. She'd never really had any reason to go into the rooms.

He dropped himself onto he couch and patted the seat next to him. She strolled sluggishly towards him and sat at the far end of the couch.

"What's one place you would recommend to have lunch at?" She furrowed your brows

"There's this really nice barbeque place a few blocks from here" he smiled and leaned closer to her

"Let's go" she leaned away from him

"That's not a good idea" she remembered when he first came here, they had to shut the hotel down for the rest of the day.

"Oh come on. I've been couped up in here for the past 3 days. I want to go out" he stretched out on the couch, laying his head on her lap

"You're too bold for your own good" he winked at her

"Oh come on live a little" she rolled her eyes

"I'd like to keep my job" he sat up, came face to face with her and took her hand into his

"How about I take all the blame for this? We can make up some story that makes me look like the bad guy" she sighed

"Fine but wear something less flashy and a hat"

Her brain was screaming at her, she shouldn't be doing this, they should have just asked the restaurant to make some barbecue or just order it but her she was sneaking out a celebrity through the kitchen to her car.

"Nice" she snorted

She thanked her friend mentally for convincing her to tint her windows.

"How are we even going to get into there?" You started put of the window

"You're my date so we go in and ask for a nice table in the back" she chuckled

"What's your name but the way" he furrowed his brows

"You've dealt with me shouldn't you know?" She shrugged

"I deal with a lot of people through out the day"

"Taemin. I thought the screaming fans would have imprinted that in your head" he was quite chatty, asking her questions about herself and he had no problem answering the questions she threw his way.

He took her hand in his as they walked into the door and took a table in the back of the restaurant where they could be seen properly. He took off his hat and fixed his blonde hair.

"Why did you want me to take you here?" He shrugged

"I'm hungry and you're pretty" she were taken back, she couldnt tell whether or not she liked his boldness

"Um thanks" you both ate in silence. He laid his hand on her upper thigh, she tried her best to not stiffen

"A-Are you ready to go back now?" He nodded with a smile, your body was failing from just a touch to your exposed thigh. Of all days she chose to wear a skirt, it had to be today

The ride back you kept to yourself as much as possible. She ignored the fact that he was very good looking and most importantly the fact that his hand went back to your thigh.

A comfortable silence was shared before them. She sat on the couch and stared at him as he was on a call, her eyes never left him as he placed back and forth.

He hung up the phone with a sigh and dropped himself next to her and planced his chin on her shoulder.

"Have I told you that you're really beautiful?" He gently placed his hand on her cheek. He sat and leaned to towards her, he pressed his lips to her and she tugged his shirt, pulling him closer.

He pushed her down softly onto the couch and unbuttoned her blouse, his hand trailed the top of her breasts then pulled down her bra to free them. His lips moved from her own and drifted down to her neck.

He pushed up her skirt, shifted her panties to the side and pressed his finger against her clit. A gasp left her lips

She tried her best not to think about how wrong this was, she was enjoying this too much to care about what her boss would do to her if he ever found out.

The sound of his zipper made her bite her lip, this was really happening.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" She shivered as he whispered into her ear

"Y-yes" he pulled her closer to himself and hovered over her.

He rested his forehead on hers and pushed into her. She gripped his arms and arched her back.

There was no being gentle, his thrust were rough and quick. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer to her chest. She felt him latch onto her neck, she didn't care about the marks he'd leave, she was in ecstasy.

She untucked his shirt and her hands drifted up, caressing his torso. She bit his slightly exposed shoulder gently, earning her a groan from him.

The sudden knock at the door was drowned out by her hushed moans. He felt her tremble as she orgasmed, his thrusts quicken and her moans grew louder. He placed his hand on her mouth, his thrust slowed as he found his own release.

He stood up and glanced down at her with a smile.

"I should answer the door. Can you get rid of this" you got shy at the sight of the condom. You made your way to the bathroom while he fixed his closed then answered the door

"Mr. Lee, I'd it possible that I could have my employee for a moment. We're really packed downstairs and I need an extra hand" He stared at the man for a moment

"I don't know, I feel like I need her more. Don't you think?" The man cleared his throat

"Where is she?" Taemin leaned against the door frame

"Bathroom" he nodded curtly

"Could I speak with her?" Taemin shrugged

"I don't know, can you?" It was clear that her boss was beginning to lose patience

"It would just be for a moment then she's all yours"

"I'll think about it" Taemin closed the door

"You're a dick" taemin glanced over to where he heard he voice

"Look at my neck! I can't go down there like this" he walked behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist and placed a kiss on her cheek

"Then stay"

NYX

#Taemin #shinee #superm #Taemin fic

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just-some-random-blogger · 5 years

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I Don’t Understand

Understand This II

SHINee Choi Minho x Reader | Part 1 Characters: Choi Minho, mentions of Kim Kibum (Key) and Lee Taemin Summary: Minho wants to know why you’re crying and learns something else along the way. Word Count: 1k+ Warnings: Angst, screaming, cursing, typos probably, etc.

A/N: YO SOMEONE FINNALY REQUESTED SOMETHING SO HAHAHAHAH HERE IT IS SAHODHASDASH

actually, i already had a part two to this, i just didn’t write it down. it wasn’t how this one came out, but you know.

thank you @kunkunandtenten <3

gif is not mine

Minho was on his bed thinking about what had just happened. I mean it wasn’t like he was dumb or anything... but how could he not see that? ...when it was all he had ever looked for.

How could this have happened?

He rolled over to his stomach and screamed.

Minho stilled and turned his back around. My best friend... loved me? He huffed. For how long? I can’t believe this! He threw a pillow and grunt, clenching his jaw and hitting the cushion behind his back.

How... how is this possible... when all I’ve ever done is try to get that naive dummy to fall for me?

Minho thought about the exact moment he decided he definitely didn’t just feel friendly feelings towards his best friend. It was actually on the day Minho bought that teddy bear.

In truth he didn’t buy a teddy bear for your tenth birthday at first, and the money Minho asked from his mother was spent on the ugliest stuffed toy he saw. He thought it would be a funny gift, that was until he got to his best friend’s party and saw the dazzling smile and equally dazzling attire on your being. It took a literal minute of Minho staring from outside the window of your house to understand that that, that was you, and was really his best friend.

He didn’t understand why... why you looked so... pretty suddenly, when after all, he had seen you just yesterday and looked UGLY-- okay maybe not ugly, but definitely not like that.

And so Minho turned to the... stuffed toy in his hand, to this monster stuffed toy and ran all the way home. He threw the stuffed toy at his younger brother, Taemin, directly hitting him in the face, got some of the money he saved, and ran back to the gift shop to buy a much cuter stuffed toy. The man he bought the toy from asked where he put first thing he bought. Minho replied that it was back home and he was no longer going to give it to his friend.

“Why didn’t you just have it replaced?” the man asked, giving the newly purchased toy to a 10 year old Minho. Minho tilt his head in realization. Huh, in hindsight, that would’ve been wiser, cheaper, and less tiring.

But Minho had no more time, he was already late to the party.

When arrived, he was out of breath and everyone was already singing the birthday celebrant a happy birthday. The moment you saw him, your smile magnified and you blew the lit candles on your cake.

Suddenly Minho’s stomach had butterflies and his heart was beating so fast.

“I thought you weren’t gonna show,” you nudged Minho when he walked over.

Minho wanted to say something smart and mean, but somehow, he couldn’t. He instead shuffled where he stood before you, and just nervously held the bear behind his back, looking at you.

He examined your face, wondering what was different. You started to blush and feel conscious, “Eomma put a bit of makeup on me.”

Minho recoiled slightly, thinking he got caught staring. He brushed it off, “Ah, that’s why your face looks weird.”

And although he said that, he didn’t mean it, as the rest of the days from then on he would spend looking at your face. Your face wasn’t at all different from the very minimal makeup you had worn on your birthday, and so at first, when Minho looked at you, he was just trying to figure out what was so different suddenly. Eventually, it turned to him just simply wanting to look at you.

You made a face at Minho’s comment, “Actually, I was thinking you may have just gotten hit by a bus, that’s why you weren’t coming.”

Minho grit his teeth and raised his hand, “YA!” At the same time, he exposed the gift he had gotten.You beamed and quickly got the soft bear from him.

“OOOOOH, GOMAWO!” you spoke, hugging the bear. Minho hissed, “Ya, who told you that was for you?” With that he stole it back.

You pulled a face, “Uh, me? It’s MY birthday.” And you stole it back again.

You looked at the bear fondly and Minho couldn’t find it in him to fight you again. He coughed and looked away, awkwardly, “Kure, it’s ugly anyway.”

You scoffed and stuck your tongue out, “Yeah, as ugly as you.”

Minho sighed at the memory and turned to the shelf where the actual ugly stuffed toy rested, the one he had originally gotten that day. “Ya, you did voodoo on me that day, didn’t you?” he asked the untouched thing. Minho pulled the covers on him. Why did he have to be in love with his best friend?

Why was the world so cr--

Wait.

Minho sat up from where he lay.

Why was that a problem?

He turned to the ugly stuffed toy and started laughing. He sprang up and took it, hugging it tightly, coughing when he inhaled some dust from it.

It wasn’t a problem. Minho started cheering. He then saw a group photo of you, him on football match. You were snuggled up to Key in that photo, oh-so-lovingly. He deflated once more. But then again, maybe he lost his chance.

The next day, Minho went to school early and waited for you to come around, but when class already started, he began to worry that you wouldn’t show.

He found out later during lunch that you were simply avoiding him, meaning you skipped all the classes you shared together, all five morning classes, and got to school only now. You were laughing with Jinki in the cafeteria where you always hung out. Minho inhaled sharply, and went up to you.

“Can we talk?” Minho spoke.

You and Jinki stopped talking and turned to him. Jinki looked between you two unknowingly and somewhere along sensed the tension. After a moment of awkward staring, Jinki pursed his lips, “I’ll let you two talk, I’ll be over there with Jonghyun.”

You both watched Jinki walk off. Minho sat down beside you.

“Listen--”

“You don’t have to say anything, Minho.”

Minho tilted his head in frustration and turned to you, “Will you just let me speak, for one goddamned second?”

“I know what you’re going to say!” you whisper-yell, eyes glossy.

Minho clenched his jaw.

“I get it, y’know. You don’t have to tell me anything. You don’t have to fake anything for me, just because you feel bad.”

Minho wanted to burst out, wanted to tell you you were truly by far the biggest idiot he knew, second to him, but he was alerted when you stood up. “I really get it. I don’t expect you to do or say anything, so can we just leave it at that, because I really don’t want to lose a friend too.”

Minho looked up at you and rubbed his thighs in contemplation. This wasn’t the right time...

“As much as I’m embarrassed by yesterday... I,” your voice began to crack, “really need my best friend right now.”

With that, Minho didn’t hesitate and stood up from where he sat. He immediately enveloped you in an embrace. You started sobbing on his shoulder. Minho released a sigh.

Not today... or at least not right now.

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minyo129 · 6 years

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[trans] 180606 MBC FM4U Yang Yoseob Dreaming Radio

Minho said Taemin made friend with Kikwang, he said Taemin is happy because he doesn't really make a lot of friends with celebrities. Yoseob also said that Kikwang showed off about him being friend with Taemin

Yoseob mentioned that Minho is close with MBC Radio. Minho said it's been a while since he last visited MBC Radio too

Onew said he is currently into reading essays and he just bought self-improvement books!

Minho: We put our opinions into choosing title tracks and tracks, what kind of performances we want to show, and also mv concept. We had several meetings

(About Good Evening performance for intentionally not looking to the camera) Minho: We usually put attention to audience in front of the fans but for this time we want to put attention to audience from all directions

Minho: Although all MVs haven't been released, but the connection of all MVs will show how fans and also how general public see SHINee

What's the most SHINee-like to you? Onew: The way we capture attention is different from others as we have tried various of concept. So I think what we call SHINee-like is 'being new'

*(Talking abt how they would not see the camera) Minho talks abt how the audience isnt just in front but 360 and the original plan to even have camera behind too.

(Testing Onew and Minho's match)

Q: People SHINee feel most thankful for O & M: Shawols Q: SHINee's most loved song O & M: Replay Q: SHINee's most memorable stage O: There are some M: Debut stage

Why Shawols?

Minho: Because they're the people that have stayed with us for a long time to the point I'm thinking 'Do I deserve to receive such love?' and it makes me feel I have to do better

Did you choose Replay with a meaning?

Minho: The song is meaningful and makes me think a lot of debut days. I still sing the debut song. Although the song is cringey after 10 years, but I still can perform this song with confidence

Onew: No matter how SHINee create a stage that's SHINee-like, if there are no Shawols the SHINee-like stage won't come true

Replay as the most memorable stage

Minho: The reason why I chose debut stage is because although its been 10 years, I still remember the atmosphere. It's still fresh in my memory. I don't only remember it in my mind but also in my heart

Minho: Other than 'Let's keep shining', I also want to hear word 'Stay healthy' because it would be hard for us to do activities if we are sick

Q: The person SHINee is most thankful to? M & O: Shawol

*Minho: Unchanging towards us. I would think if "do I hv the right to receive these love..." 10 years is not a short time. even though we hv many ppl to thank.

* Onew: no matter what kind of stage we do, without our fans, it will be nth

Q: Song they cherish the most M & O: Replay

*Minho: We cherish it a lot n we hv practice a lot. We r singing it until now even though its a lil cringe. Y: Do u guys sing Replay at concerts? Minho: Other than once, we sang it at every concert. Y: Bcoz we don't sing Bad girl that much... Minho :Y? Y: we forgot the choreo.

*When being asked abt some spoilers for their upcoming release, Yoseob was saying how he understand that Minho and Onew weren't able to say anything before the release but Minho say all of them or linked to each other.

*When being asked about how is it to be preparing 3 albums together, Minho replied that he would have did it with a fighting spirit but he is sure that its bcoz of the age that it's tiring now, with the 3 MVs.

*Minho came after Inrang's post synchronization recording and that he will be going into his promotions for the movie right after SHINee's promotions.

There's no old video / footage that Onew&Minho are embarrassed of.

Minho said, "if i'm embarrassed i'd be embarrassed, but if i act it's nothing then it won't be embarrassing'. That's just what I'm thinking, but inside I'm actually 'Ahhhh so embarrassing'" LOL

What would you want to do for your 20th year? Onew: I think just being together for 20 or 30 years is the most important

trans cr: bysagyehan & *@iheartshinee_

#minho #onew #onho #dreaming radio #translation #180606

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fyjjong · 6 years

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🌟💖 to jonghyun: my sun, my moon, my stars, someone who i'll love forever 💖🌟

i don't know how to start this properly so i'll do so by saying i'm coping the best i can be given the circumstances but it still feels like there's this void in my chest.

when i first started listening to k-pop i figured it'd just be a fun pasttime for me and, for the most part, it has been. i just didn't think i'd get as attached as i did to an idol as i did jonghyun because i'd never been the type to get super attached to celebrities to begin with but i was really drawn to him from the get go. i remember the first time i saw him in the "lucifer” mv. i was like: "wow, who is that dude" so i started looking into him and grew to like him quickly. this was before he started to show more of himself to shawols / the world. after that point he made his twitter and began to interact more with fans by showing how clever, intelligent, fun loving and socially conscious he was. and his sense of humor was so strange - which was something that i could relate to. that's probably when i knew he was going to be my ult for a long time. i remember when he supported kang eun ha back in late 2013 and i was so relieved because i was just starting to really come to terms with the fact that i was queer and it was comforting to know that my ult would accept me for that. in the short time that followed we were able to see him grow and develop as a person. he started to bare his soul to the world through blue night, always more than he was obligated to, and he was always graceful and thoughtful in doing so. i remember at shinee's fifth anniversary party when he debuted “beautiful tonight” to shawols. i was so proud of him because i knew that it'd always been his dream to make his own music and that was the FIRST time that he was able to share something with us that was completely his.

when it comes to shinee .. i haven't been here since the beginning. i became a fan during the summer of 2011 but i've always felt like i was present during the timeline that was the most pertinent in his growing as a human being. blue night was always so special to me because it opened us up to a side of him that he had been careful to share before then. people had these fixed stereotypes about him and, while some have lingered on, he was able to blow most out of the water through the show. without blue night we wouldn't have been able to hear a large percentage of his beautiful solo work. looking back i can see that this was a burden to him and it makes me ache knowing something he loved became such a weight for him but i'll always cherish the work that he gave to us. he was always trying so hard. it doesn't take what happened to know that. he never shied away from telling us when he felt lost or lonely or upset and he never made fans feel as if they were wrong to feel that way either. honestly he never made fans feel like they were in the wrong for anything. he'd support them through even their most ridiculous (and some of the funnier stories he got on blue night were proof of that) and the love he had for us was undeniable. you could see it in his eyes whenever he was given the chance to be face-to-face with us: at events with shinee, for blue night, for himself. it always looked like he was ... ridiculously content just breathing the same air as his fans. this extended to international fans as well. he didn't speak up on it often but it was obvious he knew about the disconnect / distance that we've always felt in being so far away from him and shinee. we got “selene 6.23" to show for that one. it was also thanks to jonghyun and the rest of shinee that i was able to make most of the close friends that i have today. that, and they were also so charming that i was able to have my older friends become a fan of them as well. they also gave me a reason to be able to travel twice in the last year and a half: once to chicago and another time to los angeles. i'll always be grateful that i was able to see them twice - that i was able to see him twice. i'm starting to feel too introspective so i'm going to switch over and talk about a few of my favorite things about him: 1) he wasn't perfect. he made mistakes but he always apologized and tried to make amends for them in the end. he was constantly trying to better himself and become education / sensitive to a variety of issues. i feel he excelled there, really. 2) his love for roo. i think it goes without saying that a good deal of the funnier content involving him was related back to roo. and remember the time she photobombed minho taking a picture of jjong with his music show trophies? yeah. 3) how much of his life he dedicated to making his mom and sodam feel loved and appreciated. i really don't know what else to add here that isn't obvious already. 4) he wasn't afraid to show the world the side of himself that was what most would regard as being "childish" or in geeking out about things that made him happy like naruto or how much he had fallen in love with (and been touched by) kimi no na wa. 5) when he wanted to cry he cried and he made sure that others were aware that it was alright to cry too, to be weak sometimes because to be "weak" is to really be strong. 6) he was such a great and caring friend. he just ... was. there's no denying that. he was always nonjudgmental and willing to be there for his friends at the drop of a hat when they needed him (like when he drove two hours to pick up dongwoo when he needed a ride home from a random location). 7) jinki. he was always a pillar of strength for him and this worked both ways. he took the spotlight for him when he wasn’t able to do it himself and he was always the first to understand his strange jokes and puns and play off of them. 8) kibum. he was kibum's first friend when they became trainees. we'll never know what kind of connection they had in full but it was obvious it was something special that went beyond words. 9) minho. minho is probably his biggest fan. he could read him like an open book and he was always the first to be there when he needed him most and it's obvious that hasn't changed even now. 10) taemin. he was HIS biggest fan. we all know that. he wasn't just his friend and brother but his baby and you could see how proud he was to see him develop as both an artist and person. i'm glad he got to see up to now even though it hurts me he won't see all he is capable of achieving. 11) the relationship he had with his blue night family - listeners included. they helped him so much. they gave him stories to use that helped broaden his work as a singer-songwriter and he developed meaningful friendships with both regular guests and pds. 12) taeyeon, suho, yoona, krystal, heechul, donghae, jungmo. all the friends that he made within sm when they began training who he knew for just as long as the other members of shinee. and all of those who have left sm since that were close to and meant a lot to him at a point as well, like luhan, jessica and tao. plus those that he became and stayed close to after debut. yeri, lee jonghyun, hongki, crush, zion.t, jung joon young, younha, tablo, wheesung, minkyung, gray, zico. i know they're all hurting too. 13) he wrote a beautiful book where he used all main characters as a template to show different sides of himself to readers. he was writing another book too and i'm glad he was at least able to share his idea for it with us. 14) he was able to release four amazing solo albums in such a short amount of time and i honestly feel like he helped to break some of the bias sm had toward allowing their artists to release their own work. 15) he wasn't afraid to gush over other men that he found attractive. looking back on his fanboying over gong yoo is always going to make me laugh. 16) i really loved how much he loved the moon and stars and space and mythology and all that whimsical stuff because he could be pretty whimsical himself at times. 17) how much of a dork he was for poetry. remember when he sent that wreath to wheesung with that bertolt brecht poem? iconic. 18) he really admired and looked up to prince. you could see his influence in both the sound and styling of his solo work and that makes the stereotypical minnesotan in me happy. 19) more of a random anecdote but how excited he was when he was dying his hair pink for "she is” promotions. the story about how he'd kept on showing the other members a photo of the shade he was trying for excitedly will always be one of my faves. 20) he was the kazoo king. 21) random little physical traits of his like his blingspot and all his pretty moles and birthmarks, his bottom teeth, how his legs were bowed. 22) how he pretty much laughed with his entire body and how his nose scrunched up when doing so. how expressive he was. how you could pretty much see every emotion he was trying to convey in his eyes and they'd sometimes sparkle like there was an entire universe in them (i used to say that a lot). i'll move on from the facts from now but this is ... a lot. emotionally. (death tw, suicide tw) honestly i feel like i can't say much else that hasn't already been said and that i won't be able to completely do justice to who he was as an artist, bandmate, brother, son, friend, colleagues, so on and so forth. but you can feel it at least. i guess words?? aren't really needed always?? you can feel it in how many people have went to pay their respects to him in the last day. he was SO loved and he left such a mark on the industry, not just of his immense and unique talent but because of how kind, generous, soft and understanding he was. i've said this a few times already to close friends of mine but as much as it kills me to know that he's gone and that he was in as much pain as he was i'm also relieved that he isn't feeling that pain anymore. what else can you really say in situations like these. he hurt more than anyone deserves to and maybe it's cheesy to say but a part of me feels like he was too good for this world. i've never really been religious but i hope that if there is an afterlife that he feels content, warm, happy and comfortable for once. maybe now he's a star, hanging around the moon, or maybe he's a star pup. that'd be wild. he'd probably love that. or maybe he's jamming out with his favorite musicians who've passed. who knows. anyway. i think that's all i'm gonna say for now. in the future i may revisit this post - maybe i’ll add on to it or maybe i’ll use it as a template to make a new one. who knows but the only other thing i can say before closing this off is that he'll always have a special place in my heart and i'll never forget him.

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stratus-skye07 · 6 years

Text

Sense Of Love [Finale] | Minho

Visions of a brighter side.

[Masterlist] [Nine]

MINHO

The minutes that passed once we arrived at the hospital were the worst. I got separated from Y/N when the doctors went to take her into surgery. Hours had gone by as I waited for the doctor to come back with information. In that time, Jonghyun and Onew arrived shortly after, followed by Taemin and Key once Onew called them. All of us pacing around waiting and with no way of calming our nerves.

Eventually, one of the doctors came out of the operating room. He seemed exhausted but had a calm expression on his face.

“Are you all here for Y/N?” He asks the five of us.

I nod, “Yes, is she gonna be okay?”

He smiles and nods, “There were multiple contusions and lacerations on the left side of her body along with some head and spine trauma. It was push and pull for awhile but she’s stable now.”

“You said head trauma? Is there a possibility of her loss of vision?”

He shrugs, “We won’t know much more until she wakes up.”

“Can we see her?”

The doctor has taken us to the room. Upon entering, I had to hold onto Onew and Jonghyun for support or else I would’ve collapsed on the floor from the sight. Y/N was lying in the bed with a neck brace on along with bruises, a cast on her arm, and a bandage on the side of her head from where she was bleeding from earlier. My heart breaks from how much pain she must be in. All because of me.

It seems like so much time goes by as I sat at her bedside watching her and waiting for her to open her eyes. Her hand resting in mine without any movement each time I squeezed it. I told Onew and Jonghyun to head home since there was nothing more for them to do. I stayed along with Key and Taemin.

With my eyes feeling heavier, I get a tap on my shoulder. Looking up, I see Key gesturing towards the door.

“Come on, let’s get some coffee.”

I shake my head, “I’m fine.”

“It’s okay,” Taemin adds, “I’ll stay with her.”

I hesitated to leave her side but ultimately stood to walk out of the room with Key. The aching feeling of leaving Y/N made me want to run back into the room but I needed to get myself together first.

Key puts a few coins into the coffee machine. We stay silent for a moment until a thought comes to mind.

“Was she okay the last time you saw her?”

He sighs, “You mean after you crushed her heart? No, she was trying to put up a front but I could see that it was destroying her on the inside.”

“I love her. I love her so much that I had to make sure she didn’t get mixed up in my bullshit. I never thought that her feelings were mutual.”

“She took a car for you. If that isn’t love then I don’t know what is. I know that Taemin and I have given you nothing BUT shit but we only did it because she means a lot to us. We only want what’s good for her especially since she’s been through so much crap growing up that she never deserved. When she got involved with you, I was worried but then I saw how much happier she was and thought that maybe this was her time. It was time for her to love and be loved.”

“I’m sorry for how I’ve treated her. If she loses her eyesight again I will gladly give her mine without hesitation.”

He shakes his head, “I don’t wanna hear apologies about what you did. What I want to know is are you gonna be there when she wakes up? No more bullshit on your part?”

“Yes. Vision or no vision, I’ll take care of her.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that.”

Time continued to pass as the days kept going. It had been a week since the accident. Police came to talk to me about Hyun-Ki and I told them everything they needed to know in order to get him behind bars. Him and his friends won’t be an issue for me anymore since they already have numerous charges against them from not just me but other people they blackmailed for money. Plus, Hyun-Ki was getting a harsher sentence for attempted murder on me along with a hit-and-run charge for Y/N.

Onew has been holding off the media from following up on everything. I haven’t done any interviews about my win or any media things since the fight. Key and Taemin keep assuring me that they would stay with her but I don’t wanna leave Y/N for anything.

We were just waiting at this point for her to wake up. Doctors have taken scans of her brain and they look normal but they don’t know why she hasn’t woken up yet. They say that there’s nothing to worry about but each passing day I’m scared the worse might happen.

It’s the middle of the night as I stay by Y/N’s side with her hand in mine. Key asleep on the pull out bed and Taemin dozing off on the armchair in the corner. Or so I thought.

“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. I mean you were an ass but I understand that you did it to keep Y/N safe.”

I shake my head, “Some plan. I wanted to protect her but she ended up protecting me.”

Taemin ruffles his hair, “Never thought I would say this but I’m actually jealous of you.”

“I’m used to it.” I say jokingly.

He scoffs, “It’s not for anything physical. Since I’ve known Y/N she’s never sparked any type of interest in anyone. Then you came along and all that changed for her.”

“How long have you had feelings for her?”

He smiles reminiscing on the past, “Since she started training me at the cafe. Key was less helpful training me so she took it upon herself to teach me the right way. She took her time to make sure I understood everything without any worry.”

“She’s always been caring.” I say looking at her sleeping face.

“Never changed and she’s always stood her ground against anyone so no one could ever take advantage of her.”

“I can see that. You and Key have been with her for so long. Your friendship being the most valuable to her. What do you have to be jealous of?”

He smirks before looking at Y/N then back at me, “The way she looks at you is how I’ve always imagined her looking at me someday.” He sighs, “The sad truth is that she only sees me as a little brother and I’ve slowly but surely come to terms with that. As long as I can see her be happy then that’s all that matters to me.”

The next day, Taemin and Key leave the hospital to deal with some business related things with the cafe. They didn’t want to leave Y/N but knowing her, she would’ve been upset if they let anything happen to the cafe.

I just finished cleaning up around the room when I sit at her bedside. I stare at her sleeping face with my eyes begin to well up again. Since bringing her in to the hospital, I’ve been holding back the tears. Now that I was alone with her I felt that I could let it out.

“Another day gone by and you’re still sleeping.” I chuckle to myself thinking back to the time when she woke me up early in the morning, “You hassled me to get up the first time you came to my house. Now it’s my turn to get you up. Right?” I ask as if she was gonna spring up to shoo me away.

Wanting so badly to hold her, I slide into the bed at her side and wrap her arm around me with my head lying on her chest. “Don’t you think you’ve slept enough?”

The silence continued. The only thing I could hear was her heart beating.

The tears begin to slide down across my eyes, “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m sorry for being an asshole to you since the beginning. You never deserved to get treated like shit. I just kept pushing you away once I realized how much you really meant to me. I hurt you so much but you still went and took a car for me. Once you wake up, I’m gonna give you so much scolding for doing something so dumb especially for someone like me. Then when that’s done with, I’ll kiss you like crazy and make love to you. I’ll give you everything you deserve because I love you.”

I begin to sob in her chest when I feel something run through my hair. I reach up to grab it to feel that it was a hand.

“You still talk a lot.”

I look up to Y/N’s fluttering open, “Y/N?” I sit up to take a look at her to be sure that I wasn’t imagining things

She hums, “Did I miss the afterparty?”

I cup her face as I cover her face in kisses, “I was so scared that you wouldn’t-” Before I could finish, she places her fingertips over my mouth.

“I’m okay but are you okay?” She asks with a smile.

“Physically, thanks to you but emotionally, not so good.”

“Don’t worry.” She smiles. “I’m a trooper.”

I begin to think that all my worries about her vision are put aside until I start to realize that familiar gaze she had.

Y/N

I wasn’t surprise when I woke up to see nothing. My vision wasn’t completely dark but it was foggy enough to not be able to see anything in detail. Even though I couldn’t see anything, I knew that Minho was the one at my bedside when I woke up.

Soon after waking up and a couple tests were done on me, I was discharged from the hospital since I had no major injuries to my body besides a couple fractures and a broken forearm. I was confined to a wheelchair for some time since my body was still recovering from the hit.

With a lot of arguments from Key and Taemin, they wouldn’t let me come to the cafe because they knew that I would try to work with them. They knew nothing could stop me from working, even vision.

I’d visit the school a few times but not as much as I’d like since I was still pretty weak to be able to spend time with the kids. Minho took my place in playing around with the kids as I sat nearby to hear the laughter and fun they were having. I loved hearing his laugh while he played with them. I could hear the joy return to his voice since waking up.

Minho’s been the most supportive since getting out of the hospital. He never lift my side for anything. After being released, he started staying over my apartment since he’d get worried leaving me alone. I suggested being together at his place but he argued by saying that my apartment was where I knew it best to get around. So he basically moved in helping me with anything that was too difficult for me to do. Being blind was almost like riding a bike after ten years.

Eventually, the feeling of guilt ended up occurring since he just won the championship belt. He should’ve been celebrating his win with parties, doing interviews, and filming commercials, but instead he was stuck with me. He quickly set it straight that being with me all the time was the biggest reward than any championship win.

Once I was able to leave the hospital, I came to see Dr. Park for a diagnosis on my eyes. Minho came with me as well. He ran the usual test on my eyes that I was used to but something tells me that I was going to be getting a different opinion than usual.

I hear him sigh, “I wish I could say that everything looks normal but this time I can’t be sure.”

“What do you mean you can’t be sure?” Minho asks slightly raising his voice which causes me to search for his hand to calm him.

“There’s still some bruising in your brain which makes it difficult to determine whether your blindness is temporary like Minho’s case or if it’s permanently damaged from the accident.”

“Your saying there’s still a chance for recovery?” I ask.

Dr. Park is silent for a moment before he answers, “To be honest, in any other case, there’s a low chance of regaining your vision after already having surgery done.”

“And in my case?”

“I’d say anything is possible since we’ve already been here once before when you were a little girl.” He adds, “If you would like we can schedule for another check up once the swelling in your brain has gone down to see if anything can be done.”

I shake my head, “That’s okay, Dr. Park.”

“Y/N?” Minho calls out to me with a worried tone, “It’s not okay.”

I stop him before he could go into a whole lecture about it all, “No, really. I’m fine. I was given a second chance to see and I feel like I’ve gotten to see as much as I wanted in that time, including the most handsome man that I fell in love with.” I smile picturing his face staring at me. “I can continue living in happiness with that.”

MINHO

As time past, I was concerned for Y/N. She was fully accepting of losing her vision again but I got worried that she might begin to fall into depression after a while. To my surprise, she was as happy as ever. As much as I wanted to take extra care of her, she would constantly take me by surprise with how well she could take care of herself. After awhile, I was able to let go a little bit.

A little over a week goes by when I surprise her with a weekend getaway. Y/N has felt bad about me not having the chance to celebrate my title win so I made this vacation the excuse. I also wanted her to get away from home for a while.

Once we arrived from the airport, it was still dark out since it was early in the morning. I rented a car and drove to the hotel while Y/N took a nap. Before we head to the hotel, I decide to take the opportunity to do something for Y/N.

“We’re here.” I say guiding her out of the car.

She smells the air, “I don’t recall our hotel being near the ocean.”

I chuckle, “Of course, I wouldn’t be able to hide anything from you.”

We arrive to the beach where the sun would be rising soon. Even though she couldn’t see it, I knew that she would be experiencing it through her senses. Before reaching the sand, I kneel in front of her to take off her shoes and socks.

I lead Y/N through the sandy opening until we reach the shoreline. Once we stop, she takes a breath of air when she smiles then leans into my side. Soon enough the sun started to rise lighting up the entire ocean in front of us.

Y/N grips my waist tighter, “Thank you, Minho.”

I kiss her temple, “Anything you want I’ll do everything I can to make it happen for you.”

“What about you? What do you want?” She asks.

“Being here with you is everything I’d ever want. To be honest, I wish you still had your vision. Not because it’s hard but because I feel like I’m the only one enjoying our time together since you can’t see every bit of it happening.”

“Minho, I’m happy. Just because I don’t see everything that doesn’t mean I’m not aware of how much you love me.”

“I just keep thinking about how it should’ve been me to get hit by the car. At least with me, I would’ve been fine.”

She smiles shaking her head, “You could’ve risked your career. I had nothing to lose but you. When I took the car for you, the last thing I was thinking about was my vision.”

I shake my head, looking down at the sand. “I just can’t accept that.”

“Can I tell you something?” I nod as her hand strokes my cheek, “Not to ruin the moment or anything but I’ve been holding it in since we got off the plane?”

I nod, “What is it?”

She points at my eyes, “You have some crusties harboring in the inner corners of your eyes.”

“Oh, I didn’t even bother to check that. It was a long flight and-” As I’m rubbing my eyes the statement starts to hit me, “How did you…?”

She smiles as her eyes look deep into mine differently than before, this time they knew what they were looking at. “Surprise.”

My heart begins to race as I pull her into a hug, “How long have you had your vision?”

She shrugs, “A few days. Things started to get clearer day by day until I could see everything again then that day we went to the school, I could see you playing with the kids. I wanted to surprise you during our time away from home and now seemed like the best time to do it.”

The joy I was feeling was bursting in my heart. I lift Y/N into my arms and swing her around. “Let’s get married.”

“Huh?” Her eyes widen. “Don’t you think that’s a little soon?”

“Not at all but I just wanna top this happiness.”

Dr. Park was right. Y/N’s case is different than any other person. She’s been through so many things over her life that nothing could ever bring her down. She faced death twice and still came back with a positive outlook on life. Before meeting her, I had no care in the world for anyone. My only objective in life was to fight. When Y/N came to me, I found that I don’t always have to fight on my own. At this point, I can’t see myself without her. She saved me multiple times and for that I owe her my whole life. I plan on making it up to her by marrying her, having kids with her, and growing old together. I plan to love her until the day I die.

[Epilogue]

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