#MewGulf au | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

emswindowseat · 3 years

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Good Night // A MewGulf AU

— a #MewGulf short one shot where Mew is still in love with his first love

Or alternately,

“Mew, I wonder,” the younger man started. “When the day comes that you meet me and him in heaven,” he trailed off. “Whose arms will you run to first?”

Enjoy my window seat thoughts, loves!

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Word count: 7.8k

"Hey, are you okay?" Gulf heard a voice behind him say. Smiling to himself, he turned around and faced the owner of the voice. The younger man's eyes sparkled at the sight of the man. "Hmmm?" The other man pressed, walking slowly to Gulf with a teasing smile on his face. "Yeah," he replied, voice soft and quiet as the latter stood in front of him and slowly snaked his arms around Gulf's middle, hand resting heavily on the younger's lower back.

The younger man relaxed in the older's warm and comforting embrace. It was Mew, his Mew. Just the warmth of his presence calmed him, appeased him. It made him forget what he was doing. "Aren't you tired?" Mew questioned him, tone hushed. The older man stared into his eyes intently... lovingly.

"No, I'm okay," Gulf smiled at him gently. "Are you sure?" Mew coaxed, removing one of his arms around Gulf's waist and cupping the man's cheek tenderly. "Yeah," Gulf replied, slumping his body weight on Mew's as he closed his eyes, soaking in the beautiful feeling on the older man's tender lips pressing against his temple.

"Do you need my help?" The light-skinned man once again asked, thumb caressing Gulf's soft cheeks. Smiling at the warmth of the gesture, Gulf shook his head blissfully. "I think my sister needs you to play with her kids for a little while longer," Gulf chuckled. As if on cue, the pair who were wrapped in their own bubble heard some sort of ruckus coming from the living room. They looked at each other briefly before laughing amongst themselves. "I should get back to the kids," Mew shook his head fondly and Gulf could only smile back at him in response and nod.

"Okay, holler if you need my help, okay?" Mew looked at him feigning seriousness since he knew that the younger man tended to keep everything to himself, and he isn't particularly the best when it comes to asking for help. "I will," Gulf replied, chuckling at the older's silliness. Mew squinted his eyes at the man as if he doesn't believe him. "I promise," Gulf chuckled, rolling his eyes. "Okay, tua eng, I love you," Mew replied, planting a kiss on Gulf's forehead once more. Gulf closed his eyes as he allowed himself to bask in the warmth that those three words brought throughout his entire system. He smiled at the younger man before starting to walk backwards to the living room in order to keep the kids preoccupied.

After a short while, Gulf could hear his nephews and nieces squealing excitedly because their Uncle Mew was back. The younger man smiled to himself as he thought of how adorable Mew must look with the little kids right now. The older man has always loved children and to see him having fun with them, is just enough for all the tiredness Gulf feels to wear away.

Snapping out of his Mew-filled trance, Gulf turned around to continue what he was doing. They were currently in his sister's house because today was his nephew's birthday. Little Alexander was turning two today and he and Mew came to their house earlier to help her prepare for the celebration. It's not something grand or anything, it was just a simple party with their closest family and friends.

The black-haired man was almost done cooking when his sister walked in. "Hey, are you okay here?" Grace asked, walking towards him. "Yeah, of course, I am," Gulf smiled at her. "Is everything ready for the games later?" He asked, opening the lid of the pot and watching as the smoke arose from the pot. "Do you need help?" She asked once again, peering a bit into the pot as well. "No, I'm almost done cooking," the younger man replied nonchalantly.

"You must be tired, you should just sit down," the taller man chuckled at her as he pointed at the nearest bar stool. "Stop hovering, Grace," he whined when the lady didn't leave. "Okay, okay, grumpy pants," she replied, playfully rolling her eyes as he started making her way to the said bar stool.

The younger man then took a whiff of what he was cooking then he proceeded to take the ladle and scoop out a bit of the food's soup and bringing it to his lips, tasting his food. Letting the flavor seep through his buds, he nodded, seemingly satisfied with his work. "Here," he started, scooping a little bit of the soup before facing Grace. "Taste this and tell me if it's okay or if I should add anything," Gulf said, knowing full well that he and his sister had different preferences when it came to food. He stood in front of Grace and brought the ladle in front of her lips while his other hand was positioned just below her chin. The older woman tasted the soup and nodded, "It's delicious, Nong."

"Thank you," Grace added, smiling gratefully at the young man. "Of course, Phi," he smiled before turning around and turning off the stove, and putting the lid back on the pot. "You should go relax now, I'll clean up here," Grace said, standing up. "I'll help you," Gulf replied, smiling warmly at her. "Nonsense, I can handle something as small as this," Grace replied, slightly pushing Gulf out of the kitchen. "Exactly, there isn't much to clean so let me help," Gulf replied, chuckling at her before turning around.

"Gulf," Grace groaned standing in his way. "Stop being so stubborn, you're not even supposed to be working," she added, crossing her arms. "But I'm family so let me help," he argued, looking down at his sister. "Still, you're my guest," Grace argued back, brows furrowing. "You've already helped enough. Just go and relax before everyone else arrives," Grace insisted, turning the younger man's body around before pushing his back out of the kitchen. "Fine," Gulf replied, raising his hands up in defeat.

"You're so stubborn, Nong. How could Mew even stand you?" His sister playfully asked, smiling up at him. Gulf knows it was just a joke and he knows that he shouldn't even take it to heart but it was hard. Gulf stiffened a bit in his place as thoughts began running endlessly in his mind.

Maybe he really couldn't. Maybe he's just pretending to. Maybe because he has to in order to keep someone else's memory ali--

Gulf's thoughts were interrupted when Grace placed her hand in his arm. "Nong, I didn't mean it like that," she told him gently, eyes soft. "I'm sorry," she apologized and Gulf could see that any second now, her eyes would start to water as well. "You know he loves you," the older of the pair tried to appease him.

Grace knew about his insecurities, he knew what sometimes made him quietly cry at night or what makes him shower a little longer as he turns on the water so that it could drown his sobs, just like he often drowns in his thoughts and insecurities and self-doubt.

"Nong?" Grace called out, once again pulling him away from his head. "I'm okay, Phi," Gulf said, trying to smile at her. "I'm sorry, Nong. I really didn't mean it like that," she said, voice apologetic. "I know, Phi," he replied. "You should clean the kitchen up now so you can rest before everyone else arrives," he added, squeezing her hand, trying to let her know that it's okay because it is okay. Well, at least, it's supposed to be but his insecurities are eating him away. Gulf wants it to be okay but it's not.

However, it's not his sister's burden to carry but his and his alone so when she warily nodded at him, he smiled back at her and began to make his way towards the front porch where Gulf could hear his man's voice and his soothing laughs laced with the children's heart-warming giggles.

Gulf was nearing the door when he heard the little kids chant, "Storytime! Storytime! Storytime!" Gulf smiled to himself as he stood in front of the door. He had a clear view of them but he was still hidden from the sights of the people outside. Gulf was about to open it, his hand already starting to turn the knob when he heard it. "Okay, okay," Mew chuckled. "I'll tell you about my first love," he continued. Just the sound of that one sentence made Gulf freeze in his place.

It's still him, it's always him, the younger man thought as he stood there, nailed down in his place as his feet refused to move like it was telling him that he had to listen, that he had no right to be hurt. "Yay!" The kids exclaimed in chorus and Gulf could do nothing but allow the fear that made his stomach sink to spread throughout his entire body.

Mew and Gulf have been married for a little more than three years now. The younger man knew that Mew loved him, he does. He swears he does, but he also knows that it's only to some extent. He knows that Mew's heart could never truly belong to him because a part of that will always belong to his first love. He may be the husband but he knows that Mew will always love him, and Mew may love him but he knows that his husband isn't in love with him. He knows that no matter what he does, he could never replace the man's first love in his heart because he knows that the space he occupies in Mew's heart is much lesser than that of his first love's.

"My first love really loved horses," Mew started. He only said those six words and I can already feel my heart breaking, Gulf thought as tears filled his eyes. "Just like Mommy and Uncle Gulf?" The black-haired man could hear the innocence in little four-year-old, Nathan's voice. The man froze in front of the door then heard his husband chuckle.

Yes, Gulf answered in his head because he knew. He knew that Mew's first love absolutely loved horses. "Yes bud, just like your Mommy and Uncle Gulf," Mew answered endearingly. I was right, Gulf thought to himself as if there was any way that he could be wrong about it. "So I thought that maybe the best way to confess was by taking him out on a horse-riding adventure for a day," Mew chuckled. The sound of Mew laughing was really heart-warming and he wishes that he could laugh with him as well from the fond memory but he couldn't because he knew that it wasn't him his husband was talking about.

"So I texted him the night before telling him if he wanted to hang out or something since it was the weekend and I guess that was my definition of asking him out on a date casually," the younger man could see the smile on Mew's face as he shook his head while the little kids just stared at him in awe. "I was so nervous that night that I hardly got a wink of sleep," he continued, laughing at himself. "One moment I was just so happy and nervous that he had said yes to us going out and the next thing I knew, I was picking him up from his house and we were on the way to where we were going to have our not date," Mew said, making quotation marks in the air which made the older kids giggle since if he's honest, only two of the kids could really understand his story while the other two just sat there looking at their Uncle Mew as he narrated whatever it was he was remembering without really understanding.

"I talked the entire way there so he wouldn't realize how nervous I was that time," Mew chuckled once again. "So when we got there, of course, we rode the horses and we both just enjoyed that. He looked so handsome and cute just laughing and being happy about being to ride the horses again and I could spend the entire day just staring at him," Mew smiled but Gulf couldn't stop his chest from tightening. He really still loves him, Gulf thought as he could already feel tears welling up in his eyes.

"But to be honest, I was just trying to prolong everything because I was too nervous but then the sky started to darken and I knew I had to confess soon or else the day would be over without me actually telling him that what we went on was a date and that I loved him," the brown-haired man continued.

"Before I continue my story, who could guess who my first love is?" His husband asked the excited kids, unknown to him how that question was like a bucket of water was poured down on Gulf. "Me! Me!" Gulf heard Nathan excitedly exclaim. Fuck, Gulf cursed as the tears he's been trying his hardest to keep at bay come cascading down. Covering his lips, trying to muffle his sobs, Gulf turned around and walked away from the door.

He left. He left because he just couldn't take hearing Mew utter his name. He left because he just couldn't bring himself to listen to the person he loved the most tell his nieces and nephews that his first love was Gulf's twin, that the person that Mew truly loved was not Gulf but Kana, and that probably, the only reason why he married Gulf was that he resembled Kana so much.

Gulf found himself locking the bathroom door as he turned on the faucet so he could drown out his sobs. Everything just felt so familiar, although his scenery changed, the feeling and the sense of familiarity that the action reminded him that this was something that he does often, that this was something he had done thousands of times in their own house unbeknown to his husband. The younger man knew what was going to happen next in Mew's story, not because Kana giddily narrated everything to him that evening when he returned but because he was there.

He watched as his twin confessed his love to the older man on an impulse. Kana was going down from the horse's back and Mew helped him when he kissed the older man and told him how he felt. He could remember how wide his eyes were at the sound of the confession, but if he's going to be completely honest, the one thing he could not forget was the way Mew's lips slowly parted into a wide smile as he digested Kana's love confession. He remembered how Mew was speechless for a minute before he crashed his lips against Kana before pulling back and telling his twin that he felt the same way.

Gulf could remember the twinkle in Mew's eyes that day, as they continued riding the horses for another hour, his twin and his husband closer than they were. He remembered vividly how Mew's smile never left his face as he drove them home, Gulf in the backseat while Kana sat beside him as they held hands the entire ride home. He also remembers how happy Kana was that night, how he wouldn't shut up about how he could not believe that everything just happened -- how his long-time crush has feelings for him too and how they're officially dating now.

Kana and Gulf were so alike that they could agree on almost anything. However, oftentimes, Kana discovers his love for things through Gulf like how he learned to love riding horses because Gulf loved it. The thing about having a twin which is almost the same as you in every aspect is it sucks when you both have the same type in guys because just like how Kana has liked Mew for a long time, so did Gulf.

Kana was just the type of person to tell Gulf everything when something happens while Gulf chooses to keep things to himself especially when he's not asked so when he found out that Kana had this massive crush on Mew, he couldn't bring himself to tell him that he also liked Mew, that he liked Mew for almost a year when the bomb was dropped so he just smiled at Kana and told him that he was happy that his twin finally found someone to like. So just like how Gulf couldn't forget the way Mew looked when Kana confessed, on that day, he also couldn't forget the ringing in his ears, the tears pooling in his eyes, the tightness he feels in his chest, that itchy feeling he has all over his body due to the anxiety, the lump in his throat as he tried to hide from the pair how he truly felt about the confession, and the painful sob he couldn't help but let out as soon as he got inside the bathroom.

Maybe that's where it started. Maybe after that day, it was no longer uncommon for Gulf to lock himself in a bathroom as he allowed the water to run so they could drown his sobs. Maybe he doesn't like the silence too, that the sound of the water running is like a blanket he could wrap himself in so he could lie to himself and say that it's okay, that he's not alone. Whatever it is, Gulf knew that the action will never stop being unfamiliar for all the years to come, that for each and every year that he's going to be with Mew, the person he truly loves, he knew that there would not come a time where he wouldn't cry in the bathroom.

As much as everything seems too familiar for him, he also knew that his time was almost up. The younger man could already hear the guests coming and he knew that any minute now, Mew would come looking for him so he composed himself. He willed himself to stop crying as he wiped his cheeks of the remnants of the hot fat tears that were previously falling down from his beautiful brown orbs.

Standing up, he looked at himself in the mirror. His nose was kind of puffy while his eyes were a bit red. He looked pathetic, to say the least. He could already see his insecurities looming over his head as he stared at his reflection.

"Gulf?" The young man whipped his head towards the door as he heard his husband's soothing voice calling for him. He cleared his throat before responding, "In here!" A few seconds later, the younger man could feel Mew's presence on the other side of the door. "Tua eng, are you in here?" The older man asked as he knocked on the door. "Y-Yeah, I'll be out in a minute," he replied, voice a bit shaky. "Okay, tua. I'll wait for you in the living room, okay?" Mew asked, almost pressing his ears against the door so he could hear. "Okay," Gulf replied as he opened the faucet and watched as the water hit the sink before cupping a handful of it and splashing it across his face.

Once he deemed his appearance fine enough for Mew not to ask him what was wrong, he unlocked the bathroom door. As soon as he stepped out of the comfort room, he could already see Mew's back. The man was sitting on the couch, little Nathan sitting on his lap. Taking a deep breath, Gulf started making his way to where his husband was.

"Uncle Gulf!" Little Nathan exclaimed as he raised both his arms, asking for Gulf to carry him. Smiling at the four-year-old kid, Gulf sat beside Mew as they both allowed their nephew to climb from Mew's lap to his. "Hi, buddy," Gulf smiled, ruffling his hair. "Are you excited about Alexander's birthday party?" He asked. The couple watched as the little kid nodded his head furiously. "Mama said there will be games and Uncle Mew promised to help me with the games!" He exclaimed, smiling at both of them. "Well, you better hold Uncle Mew to that promise then," Gulf replied, playfully squinting his eyes. "Make sure to ask him for a price if you don't win anything, okay?" Gulf added which made the kid's eyes widen as he nodded furiously. This made the married men laugh at his cuteness.

Their little bubble was cut short however because the sound of the door opening and more guests walking in made all three of them whip their heads in the direction of the entrance. As soon as Techno, one of his and Grace's cousin's son, walked in, Nathan scampered off of Gulf's lap as he sprinted towards the little kid, engulfing him in the tightest hug before running towards one of the many rooms in the house. Gulf could only smile to himself, endeared at his nephew.

On a normal day, or a day where Gulf isn't being consumed by his insecurities, he would bury himself in Mew's side as he tried recharged, because Mew was his rest, Mew has always been his rest. Today, however, was a completely different story because he couldn't help but wonder if Mew would find it annoying or if he's just trying to endure everything because they were married. He couldn't help but wonder if it was really him that Mew wanted to sit beside him or his twin. He wondered if as he said 'I do' to Gulf in front of their friends and family and of course, the Lord if it was really him that he wanted to marry.

Gulf knew the answers to all his questions and it wasn't him. It has never been him and he knew that so instead of scooting closer towards his awaiting husband, he moved a bit further to give themselves a little bit of space. Mew furrowed his brows a bit as he eyes his husband. Gulf sat there stiffly as he played with his ring, a habit he got from Mew.

The younger man was about to stand up when Mew scooted closer to him, snaking his arms around Gulf's waist as he buried his head in the younger man's nape. "Tua eng, is something wrong?" Mew asked as he planted a chaste kiss on Gulf's neck. Mew knew Gulf's tendency to keep all his problems to himself so as much as possible, he would urge Gulf to talk about his feelings. "Hmmm?" He hummed, coaxing the younger man for answers as he tightened his hold on him. "What's wrong?" Mew asked once again, voice serious as he removed his face from the man's neck to look at him straight in the eyes. Gulf could see the sincerity and worry in his husband's orbs.

The taller of the pair never said that Mew didn't love him because he knew that he did. Maybe he learned to love Gulf throughout the years but the younger man also knew that he would never love him as much as he loved Kana. Gulf also knew that he could never fill the void Kana left in Mew's heart.

"Tua eng?" Mew asked once more, using his other hand to cup Gulf's cheek, making him look at the older man while his other squeezed Gulf's waist encouragingly. The younger man stared into Mew's eyes and he wishes he could tell Mew exactly how he feels, how insecure he is of his twin, how he wishes Mew could just love him more than he loves Kana, how tired he is of silently crying himself to sleep almost every night, how painful it is to cry in the bathroom alone, how he wishes Mew could tell him that what he sees when he looks at him is Gulf and not Kana, that it's Gulf he loves, not Kana.

But how do you tell your husband that you're jealous of your dead twin who's the real owner of his heart? So he doesn't. He musters his best fake smile, the one he has mastered over the years as he looks at Mew dead in the eye, "I'm okay Teerak, I'm just tired from cooking."

"Are you sure, tua eng?" Mew asked him, gently caressing Gulf's cheek with his thumb. Gulf smiled at him politely before nodding, "I'm sure." His husband stared at him for a minute as he continued to caress Gulf's cheek lovingly before he gave in and pressed his cheek more on Mew's palm. He may not love me as much as he loves Kana but he is still my husband so it isn't too much to ask for me to savor this moment, right?

"Okay, as long as you're sure," Mew replied as he plopped down on the couch, his back resting comfortably on the back pillows. Gulf didn't even have any time to protest because before he knew it, Mew was already pulling him to sit comfortably beside him. The older man squeezed Gulf's waist lightly as he pulled him close to his body, making them press to each other impossibly closer.

The older man planted a kiss on Gulf's forehead as if he knew that Gulf was lying to him, that he actually isn't okay, that his heart was hurting, that his insecurities and self-doubt were getting to him. He pressed his lips on the man's temple as if he knew what the younger man was thinking about. Allowing himself to relax despite his thoughts, he laid his head comfortably on his husband's shoulder as he draped his right arm across Mew's stomach, hugging him. Gulf felt Mew relax at his gesture as he pulled Gulf much closer to his body -- as if that was possible.

Gulf wishes he could stay there forever because it feels as if Mew's comforting him. Even though he was still overthinking, he felt safe because he may have made himself believe that this is Mew's way of telling him that he loves him as well, that he feels the same for Gulf. He wishes he could keep this feeling in his pocket for safekeeping, for the next time he feels insecure.

A few moments later, Nathan came running inside and began pulling his Uncle Mew because, he quotes, "It's time for the games!" The pair could only smile at the young man as they released one another from their hold. They both walked with Nathan to the backyard where the games for the kids were about to begin. When they reached the place, Mew planted a kiss on Gulf's lips, surprising the younger man. However, he didn't have enough time to react because the next thing he knew was Nathan was already dragging his Uncle Mew to the center where the other parents were.

Gulf touched his lips gently as if it was the first time for him to kiss his husband. He felt giddy and happy inside and he prays his thoughts wouldn't wander but it does. He watched as Mew laughed and played with the kids. Gulf wanted to capture this moment, keep it safe so he could look back and see how beautiful Mew looked with genuine happiness written all over his face.

He takes out his phone and records his handsome husband. He watched Mew through his screen and even behind the camera, the older man still looked ethereal. Gulf really couldn't blame why his twin fell in love with Mew as well. Anyone would fall in love with the amazing man but for the third time in his life, Gulf wanted to be selfish. He knew that he should be thankful that in the end, they were the one who ended up together but why couldn't Mew just love him instead of his twin? Why should his heart belong to someone else that looked exactly like him? Why?

After those thoughts, Gulf felt disgusted with himself. How could he even think of being thankful that they ended up together when the cost of it was his twin's death? Kana had a weak heart. He died six years ago because of it. He and Mew had been together for around a year when it happened. Gulf watched with a broken heart how Mew broke down when his twin died. At that time, Gulf felt numb. Losing his twin felt like losing a part of him because Kana was always a part of him and seeing the person he loved so much hurt so much because of his twin's loss, made him want to disappear.

After that, Gulf and Mew had been in each other's company, trying to get over the loss they had experienced. He doesn't know why or how but a year later, Mew asked him out and he said yes. That day was the first time he ever wanted to be selfish. Kana's gone. Is it really so bad for me to want to be selfish? To want to try and get my happy ending too? To want to have a chance with the person I love? Kana, is it wrong?

The second time he was ever selfish was when Mew proposed to him. He and Mew have been together for two years already when the older man popped the question. Truthfully, Gulf didn't expect Mew to do something such as asking him to tie the knot because if he's honest, he knew that dating him was Mew's way of coping. He knew that it was his boyfriend's way of trying to get over Kana's death because what better way is there to let the memory of him live than date the only other person that looked like him, that liked almost the same things as him? He knew that for Mew, it was only Kana, but for him, it was only Mew so he said yes... because he was selfish enough to want to have the man his twin loved all to himself.

Gulf's mind wandered the entire duration of the party. He thought about how Mew and Kana were so alike, how they were both the life of the party, while he liked watching from the sidelines. He thought about how his husband and his twin were always so vocal about their feelings while he prefers to keep his problems to himself. He looked at the fact that they both liked eating sweets with ice cream being their favorite dessert while he doesn't appreciate dessert that much. Gulf knew that he and Kana were almost the same but like any other twins, they had their differences, the things that gave them their sense of self. Mew and Kana, however, were alike in the things that differentiated Gulf from his twin. Maybe that's the reason why Mew fell in love with Kana and not Gulf because they're so alike. Maybe the reason why Mew married him because he could live with overlooking their differences as long as in most aspects, he and Kana were alike.

The younger man was reminded of this when Mew snapped him back to reality. "Tua eng?" The older man asked, squeezing his hand. "Huh?" Gulf asked, blinking slowly before looking at Mew. "I said the Tom Yum Kung you made is delicious," Mew smiled at him. The younger man then realized that they were now at the dining table, eating dinner. "Thank you," he replied, smiling at his husband. "You don't have to force yourself to eat too much, though. I know you can't stand eating spicy food," Gulf forced out a smile as he remembered that like Mew, Kana also didn't like eating spicy food.

"It's okay, tua eng. It's delicious," Mew responded, planting a kiss on Gulf's cheek. "Are you okay, though? You haven't touched your food," Mew asked him worriedly, playing with his fingers under the table. "Yeah, I'm okay, I just got distracted. I'm sorry," he replied, smiling at Mew to reassure him, despite everything he feels. "Okay, tua, but you should eat now before your food gets cold," Mew replied. Gulf could only smile at him in response before turning his attention back on his plate, his fingers still intertwined with Mew's under the table as the older man refused to let go of it.

Gulf tried his absolute hardest to push his negative thoughts at the back of his head for the rest of the night but he has been failing constantly. Even now as he and Mew lay in bed he just couldn't help but think of all the times Mew could choose Kana if he was only given the chance.

"Mew, what if I die before you?" Gulf suddenly spoke up, breaking the silence that enveloped their bedroom. "What?" Mew looked at him in disbelief, eyes tearing away from his phone almost immediately. "We're too young to talk about dying, tua eng," Mew pouted at his husband. "Where is this coming from?" The older man asked him as he looked down so he could see Gulf properly. The younger man was lying flat on the bed while Mew was sitting down beside him, back pressed against the headboard.

"Are you okay, tua eng?" Mew asked him as he put his phone down on the bedside table before lying down beside Gulf and wrapping his arm around Gulf's middle. "You can always talk to me, you know," he said when his husband remained silent. Mew was saying things so softly and reassuringly that Gulf couldn't help but feel loved.

"I know you've had something on your mind the entire night," Mew uttered, rubbing his nose against Gulf's cheeks. Mew, fuck, how can I not fall deeper in love with you when you're like this? Gulf talked to himself as he closed his eyes.

"Please tell me, tua eng? I can't help you if you won't talk to me about it," the older man pleaded once more as he tightened his hold on his husband before burying his face in Gulf's neck hoping that if the younger man wouldn't see his face, he would feel a lot better and that it would make it easier for him to talk about his feelings because his tua eng can be a bit shy.

"Mew, I wonder," the younger man started after what felt like an eternity of silence. Mew was almost convinced that Gulf had fallen asleep if not for the way he knew what Gulf's even breathing felt and sounded like when he's asleep. "What is it, tua eng?" Mew asked, encouraging Gulf to speak up. "If ever I die before you," he spoke up once more. "Tua eng, why do you keep on thinking about dying?" Mew asked as he retracted his hand from Gulf's waist as he lifted himself up and rested his weight on both his elbows, eyes trained on Gulf's face as he worried about his husband's thoughts. "Mew, whose arms will you run to first?" Gulf asked, looking up at Mew straight in the eyes despite his pounding heart. "Mine or Kana's?" Gulf added in a whisper, almost inaudible as his throat suddenly felt restricted.

The silence that followed the man's question was deafening and Gulf could feel his world crumbling down. The pit of his stomach sunk, his chest tightened, and his eyes starting to blur. He doesn't even know why he was asking such a thing when he knew that the answer could only destroy him. He doesn't understand why he even thought of letting those thoughts past his lips when he was absolutely terrified hearing Mew's answer roll out his tongue. He was afraid of actually hearing it from you.

Gulf couldn't stop the tears that fell from his eyes as he stared at his husband's eyes. Gulf could see the sadness and uncertainty in Mew's eyes and he knew that hearing Mew's answer from his own lips could destroy him. Instead of waiting for Mew to open his mouth to answer, he tries to smile at him despite the tears falling from his eyes.

"You don't have to answer that," Gulf said as he tried to chuckle while he wiped the tears o his cheeks. "Good night. I love you," he hastily said as he leaned up to plant a kiss on his husband's lips before turning his back on the man and turning off the lamp on his bedside table. Trying to escape from the moment as fast he could, he brought the blanket up to his shoulders. He then curled in on himself, trying to make himself as tiny as possible that maybe he could just disappear.

A few moments later, Gulf felt the bed shift behind him and almost instantly, Mew's entire body was pressed against his back and the warmth his husband brought should've calmed him but it made him tear up even more. The younger man then felt Mew's arm snaking its way around his waist and soon enough the weight of it on his middle was something he could not deny.

His spouse wrapped him tightly in his embrace, his palm pressed against his other waist, the one that was pressed against the bed as he buried his face in Gulf's nape. The younger man could no longer keep his sobs silent because he knew that this is Mew's way of saying that he was sorry. He was sorry because even without saying it, they both knew that it was in Kana's arms Mew would run to first.

Taking a deep breath, Gulf placed his hand on top of Mew's on his waist. "Good n-night," the young man said with a shaky breath as he shut his eyes tightly with tears still constantly falling from them.

"You were my classmate in Mister Suttinut's class during freshman year," Mew started speaking, lips still pressed against Gulf's neck while his arms tightened around Gulf lightly. "You were late on the first day of class and I remember thinking that I perhaps just saw the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on," Mew chucked. What did he just say? Gulf's eyes shot open at Mew's confession. "You sat beside me that day and strangely enough, my heart could not stop pounding inside my chest."

"I felt like I was in high school all over again like I just saw my crush and I couldn't believe that he was sitting beside me. Only I liked you the first moment I saw you," Mew continued. What's going on? He liked me since freshman year? "Then I got to know you better and before I knew it I was in love with you," Mew added. Gulf is pretty sure that Mew could feel his heart pounding. "What?" Gulf asked, brows still furrowed.

He didn't dare look back at Mew which was if he's honest is stupid because they've been married for three years yet here they were, confessing to each other as the younger tried to avoid his husband's eyes. However, Mew obviously had other plans because the next thing he knows is that the older man was already on top of him, both arms on either side of Gulf's head as he was laid on his back.

"I'm in love with you, Gulf," he said sincerely, eyes boring into Gulf's. "I have been in love with you since the first day I saw you," the older man pressed. Gulf couldn't believe his ears. He loves me? He's been in love with me from the start? Gulf could already feel the tears of happiness pooling in his eyes. This isn't just a dream, right?

Gulf blinked a couple of times before his lips parted to speak, "But what about Kana?" Sighing, Mew lowered his head, finding Gulf's chest more interesting than his face. "I might sound like a complete asshole for saying this but I thought he was the next best thing," Mew sighed again. Gulf waited patiently for the older man to continue as if his heart wasn't about to burst due to the sheer happiness he felt. "We've been friends for over three years when Kana confessed to me and I thought that if you had any speck of feelings for me, something would've happened by then."

"So when Kana confessed, I thought that it was the next best thing to having you," Mew continued, meeting Gulf's eyes this time. "Don't get me wrong, I loved Kana but I just to some extent but I just couldn't help but wonder how things would be if only I confessed to you," Mew said, honesty written all over his face. "Because God knows it's you that I love the most," Mew added and Gulf couldn't help but reach up and wrap his arms around Mew's neck.

"But what about what you told the kids earlier?" Gulf pouted as the memory invaded his mind again. "What do you mean, tua eng?" Mew asked, cocking his head to the side in confusion. "You told the kids you would tell them a story about your first love and then you told them about the day Kana confessed to you," the younger man mumbled, eyes casting away from Mew's. "What? That was not the story I was telling them at all," Mew protested. "But I was there that day. We were horseback riding that day," Gulf responded with a small voice.

Smiling at his husband's cuteness, he placed a finger under the man's chin before lifting it up so he could see his tua eng's beautiful eyes. "But that wasn't the day I was talking about, tua eng," Mew chuckled. "Remember we also went horseback riding on the beach when I asked you to be my boyfriend?" Mew asked, looking at him expectantly. Gulf slowly nodded his head as he realized that yeah, they did go horseback riding that day. "And then we had dinner at this delicious restaurant there and then I asked you out through a cake and some singing waiters?" The older man chuckled once more at the cheesy memory.

"And then we spent the night at the beautiful resort," Gulf added as the memory of that night came flooding in. "You can even ask the kids if you want. That's the story I told them," Mew added, eyes and smile genuine. "I love you, Gulf Traipipattanapong-Jongcheveevat. I love you with all of my heart," Mew said and Gulf couldn't help but let his tears fall. "I love you too," Gulf replied, eyes boring into Mew's, trying to let his husband know that he too loved him dearly.

The pair stared into each other's eyes for a while before Mew leaned in slowly. The moment their lips collided, Gulf felt fireworks erupting in his chest from the pure happiness he feels. His heart feels so full of love and assurance. They kissed each other passionately until they needed to pull back for air. "I love you, okay?" Mew assured breathlessly as he rested his forehead against Gulf's.

"I'm sorry if I failed at reminding you that every day, tua eng," the older man added as he stared into Gulf's eyes. "I'm sorry, tua eng, but I hope you won't ever doubt my love for you ever again," Mew continued and Gulf couldn't help but feel his heart clenching. "You don't have to say sorry teerak," Gulf replied, cupping the older man's cheek before caressing it with his thumb. "No, it's my job as your husband to remind you how much I love you every single day and I'm sorry if I failed. I promise I'll be a better partner," Mew replied, rubbing their noses together. "Okay," Gulf whispered before he pulled Mew down into another deep, passionate, and love-filled kiss.

After what seemed like hours of portraying their love for each other through their lips, the couple laid wrapped in each other's arms. "I love you," Mew said as he placed a kiss on Gulf's forehead. "I love you too," the younger man replied, voice laced with sleep. "Good night, tua eng," Mew whispered once more once he felt Gulf's even breathing on his neck before he too allowed himself to drift off.

The next morning, Gulf woke up to the feeling of something licking his face. What? Gulf thought as his brows furrowed. Once last night's memories came flooding in, Gulf eyes shot wide open. Fuck, what if all of that was just a dream? Gulf asked himself as tears began pooling his eyes.

The young man was about to sit up when something licked his cheeks again. He turned his head to the side and found the culprit. Gulf furrowed his brows at the cute and furry Pomeranian that was standing near his head. "What, Chopper?" He asked himself, furrowing his brows more. "Good morning, tua eng," Mew said as he placed a breakfast tray on top of Gulf's legs. "Mew? What's all these?" Gulf asked in disbelief.

The older man smiled at him before planting a chaste kiss on his lips, unbothered about the fact that Gulf hadn't even brushed his teeth yet. "I just wanted to cook you some breakfast in bed," he smiled at him like it's the most normal thing to do. "And Chopper?" Gulf asked, gesturing to the fur baby that was lying on their bed. "Well, I saw you eyeing him when we were volunteering at the pound last week so I wanted us to adopt him since he seemed fond of you as well," the older man smiled at him innocently and if Gulf's heart didn't burst from the pure happiness he felt last night, it sure felt like it would today.

"I have been processing his papers since last week and we were supposed to drive down to the pound today to get him but I wanted to surprise you," he added and Gulf just couldn't stop himself from cupping his husband's face and kissing him. "Thank you," the younger man breathlessly said. Mew smiled at him before leaning back in to place a soft kiss on his lips, "Of course, tua eng."

They smiled at each other as they pulled back. "Just so we're clear, last night did happen, right?" Gulf asked. Chuckling at his husband's silliness, Mew cupped his cheek. "It did. I love you, Gulf," he said looking at Gulf straight in the eye before leaning in to plant a kiss on the man's forehead. Gulf closed his eyes at the sensation. "I love you too, teerak," Gulf replied, happy.

"I know you do. Now, let's eat before the food gets cold," Mew replied. He then took the utensils from the tray and scooping a spoonful of food and feeding it to Gulf before eating as well. Gulf smiled at his husband to which the older man returned and Gulf thought to himself, Starting today, my good nights aren't going to consist of crying myself to sleep but rather, sleeping peacefully in Mew's arms. The young man smiled at his husband before thanking the gods because now, he's finally truly happy because he knows that Mew loved him with his entire heart.

Thank you for reading, loves!

Likes, comments, and shares are really appreciated :)

Find me on Twitter @emswindowseat

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piprocrastinator · 3 years

Text

‘Rawr’ But Make it Cute

Gulf.. Type fic

Gulf baby sits a child Type. Mew does show up as well. It’s just some cute stuff.

Length: 2525

Gulf blinked and wide brown eyes blinked back. Gulf huffed and the tiny boy let out an equally tiny huff in reply.

“I don’t think I can do this,” Gulf says to Mew not taking his eyes of the tiny human in front of him.

Mew snort a chuckle before swooping the boy into his arms and into a hug. “Type's a great kid. You’ll be fine. I’ll be right back.”

“Four to five hours isn’t exactly ‘ right back ’” Gulf mumbles but it’s more out of nerves than sass and Mew can see it. Mew squeezes Type a bit too tight and the boy laughs loudly at the action, squealing about not being able to breathe.

“Uncle Mew.” Type says, voice high pitched and a tad screechy. GUlf frowns. “Too tight.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Mew not sounding sorry in the slightest but loosens his hold, pinching one of Types fluffy checks. (Gulf doesn’t feel the slight bubble of jealousy because Mew is fawning over someone else’s cute checks. Because he's not jealous of a child.) “But you’re just so cute I could-“ whatever Mew was going to say was cut off by more shrill laughter as Mew tickles Types sides.

Gulf watches unsettled off to the side. Mew finally sets Type back down, patting the boy on the head before Type shuffles off, an angry pout on his face, to his coloring book on the floor again.

Mew leans in and kisses Gulf's temple. “I promise it’ll be no time at all before I’m back.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Gulf tugs at the end of Mews shirt between his pointer and thumb desperately.

Mew smiles softly and Gulf feels some of his nerves settle. “Don’t worry baby. You’ll be fine. We’ve watched Type loads of times before, you know what to do.”

“You’ve watched Type, I just tagged along.” Gulf pouted. Mew's face softened as he leans in to kiss Gulf's forehead. Just as Mew pulls away his phone screams to life in his pocket.

“You’ll do great. If you need anything- I mean anything at all- call me.”

“What if you're busy?”

“Call Mild. Or Tong. Or your mom. Or my mom. Sweetie, call anyone and they'll help you but I promise,” Mew drops a quick reassuring peck to Gulf's lips. “You’ll be fine.”

Mew steps away to ruffle Type hair, the boy grumbling a goodbye as Mew leaves.

“Just us now kid.” Type turns to look at Gulf with a blank stare. It’s silent -heavy and tense. Gulf blinks. Type blinks. Then Type turns back to his coloring book without a sound. Gulf can feel the stress building and it’s literally not even been a minute.

He’s never babysat before. Technically he has but Mew had always been there with him when he had before. Mew had always been the one to take charge of the care and protection while Gulf just stood back and lent a hand when Mew needed it. He's never been alone with such a tiny human, his sole responsibility to let the kid not get hurt. The pressure.

It’s not that Gulf wasn't opposed to kids. He wasn’t. He just wasn’t... familiar with them. Mew had mentioned, on more than one occasion -read all the time- that he liked kids and wanted one (or two) in the future. He seemed to talk more and more about it when Tong adopted Type a year ago.

Mew was great with kids, probably because outside of work Mew was basically a kid himself. But what did one even do with kids? Gulf couldn't remember anything from the times before when they had babysat Type.

It was a couple of minutes of Gulf just staring at Type before Type turned to look at him again.

“Uncle Gulf." Gulf hummed in reply. "Why are you staring at me?"

Gulf shifted awkwardly in his seat. He hadn't meant to stare. "I uh...."

"Do you want to see my coloring?"

"Yeah?" Type held up the book, he wasn't very good at keeping in the lines nor choosing what colors fit well with each other. "Very nice," Gulf says instead of what he's thinking.

"Uncle Gulf?" Gulf hums again as Type sets his book back down. "I don't want to color anymore."

"What do you want to do then?"

Types face scrunches up in thought. It's very cute and Gulf can't resist reaching out and brushing some of Types hairs from his forehead.

"Football." Type exclaims jumping up.

Gulf blinks then smile, "Alright." He could do football. He helped Type into his shoes and lead him to the back yard where his ball sat by the door from a few days ago. Type immediately kicked it before running after it. Gulf followed. The makeshift goal was two sets of trees and Gulf ran in tiny steps to make it more fair for Type and his tiny legs.

Type had a particular pension for finding all the tiny rocks and uneven spots in the yard and tripping over them so Gulf spends most of the time panicking that Type was seriously hurt until the kid jumped back up to start running again. The game was mostly Type running from Gulf with hints of actual Football rules included. They played for hours, Type winning but only because he found a muddy area left by the rain yesterday and decided that he could run through it. He couldn't, he tripped and was now covered in mud. Gulf proclaimed him the winner so the game could end.

"Alright, little buddy. You won and now it's bath time." Gulf helps Type stand back up. The mud globs plopped off his shirt as they waddled out of the puddle.

"Not done yet." Type squeals, his tiny feet trying to kick at the ball but Gulf still held him up by his armpits. "Let's play."

"I think we're done for the day." Type huffs all tiny and angry, feet wriggling. "You're a mud monster buddy."

Type rawrs, hands going up like claws. "Monster."

Gulf sets the boy down away from the mud before grabbing the ball as Type tiny stomps towards it, growing. "Such a scary monster." He comments.

"Rawr." Type grabs onto Gulf leg, looking menacingly up at him. "I eat human for ball. Rawr."

"Oh no," Gulf plays along trying to wiggle his leg out of Type grasp. "The monster's going to eat me." He manages to waddle them towards the house a few steps from the door. "How about we give the monster a bath and we can eat since the monster is hungry."

"Monster hungry." Type makes some more growling noises, tugging on Gulf pant before he stops suddenly looking up at Gulf with a look of excitement. Gulf blinks at the sudden emotion change.

"Dino outfit?" He yells bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"Dino ... outfit?" Gulf asks and Type nods enthusiastically before running to the door, his dirty hands sliding over the glass as he pushes it open.

"Wait, Type."

Type stops to look back, tiny huff in his direction as if annoyed with him.

"Your dirty." Type tiny eyebrows pinch together before he squeezes through the small opening he made with the door, inside the house. The next thing Gulf knows, Type is stripping in front of the door, his dirty clothes slapping wetly against the floor by the door as he dashes through the house.

Gulf jumps out of his shoes to chase after him. Type runs through the corridors, down the hall. They pass the outside door at least three times before Type slides into Mew's room. Gulf mildly panics as he throws open the door. silently praying Type isn't on Mews bed. Instead, he finds Type pulling open the bottom drawer of Mews dresser.

"Type what are -" Type flops back as the draw slides open all the way before he pulls out something green. "-doing?"

"Dino outfit." Type holds out the outfit happily, bouncing on his knees staring at Gulf.

"Ok, buddy." Gulf nudges Type off the ground and pushes him towards the bathroom. "You can wear the ... dino outfit but only if wash up first."

"Okay." Type gives him a tiny salute.

"Do you need help?"

"No, I'm a big boy I can wash myself. Silly uncle Gulf."

Gulf watches him skeptically as he tosses the dino outfit onto the sink and steps to the shower. Gulf waits until it seems like Type knows what he's doing before he slips off to gather up the boy's clothes from off the floor, throwing them in the washer so that hopefully they will be clean and dry before Mew gets home, Gulf checks the clock, in two and a half hours. He hadn't realized how long they had been outside.

He cleans up the mud drippings by the door, down the hall, and off the window before going to check on Type again who was scrubbing himself down. Letting out a breath that he wasn't drowning. A thought he wasn't entirely sure why he was having because Type was taking a shower not a bath but it was still a thought he was having nonetheless.

Gulf reheats some noodles and puts the bowl on the table as Type dashes out of the bathroom clad in his green Dino onesie. The dinosaur hood flopped over his dripping wet hair.

"I'm a Dinosaur."

"You are. A clean one too." Type nods happily, tiny stomping towards Gulf. He pretends to be scared until Type is in reach before he swoops in and plops Type into the chair. "Dinosaur needs food."

Type growls happily, "Dino is hungry."

Gulf ruffles his hair before going to check on the bathroom. He grabs a towel to rub over Type's hair as he eats. Type isn't happy about it and swats at his hands grumbling between bites.

"Uncle Gulf." Type calls, "Dino is done eating."

"Very good." Gulf clears the bowl as Type hops off the chair. "Can we watch a dinosaur movie?"

"Sure."

"Wait." Type tugs at his pant leg point towards Mews room. "You have to wear a dino outfit toooooo."

"I don't have one though."

"Yes you do." Type says exasperated. "Uncle Mew wore it with me before."

Type pushes him back into Mews room, pulling open the drawer again to pull out a much bigger piece of green cloth. "See."

Gulf plucks it from his fingers to look at it. It was almost an exact replica of the one Type was wearing, just bigger. Gulf is confused because he didn't even know Mew had this tiny outfit for Type much less a bigger one. He's not really surprised because it's very Mew to have something so cute and childish. He probably looks great in it too. Now Gulf wants to see Mew and Type in matching dino outfits.

"Dino dino dino." Type chanting knocked him out of his fantasies of Mew.

"Okay." Gulf sighs, "Let's get the movie set up and I have to shower first or Mew will ... -" He stops checks his words before saying, "-be very mad at me for wearing something of his while dirty."

"Obily." Obviously . Type hadn't learned to fully say yet but his attempt was cute. "Uncle Mew says that's how you stay healthy."

"Uncle Mew is just weird, isn't he?" Gulf taps Type nose, earning him an annoyed sound.

"To the Tv." Type tiny stomps out of the room growling as he made his way to the living room. Gulf follows and starts up Jurassic park for him, setting a blanket next to him.

"I'll be right back." Type nods, already thoroughly entranced by the movie.

Gulf watches Type as he backward walks towards the bathroom. He showers the quickest he's ever showered. Drying off enough to pull on the dino onesie. It was.. adorable. Now he really really wanted to see Mew in it.

When he made it back to the living room Type was nowhere to be seen. For a second He felt nothing than the panic hit. "Type?" He yelled. Dashing into the next room, sliding into the kitchen. "Type."

"Soda." Type calls from the counter. His little feet swinging, the fridge door open and a can of soda clasp between his tiny hands.

"Type." Gulf sighed in relief, helping Type off the counter and shutting the door, "Next time just let me know buddy. That's dangerous."

Type shakes his head, "I can do it."

They walk back into the living room, the sound of the T-Rex screeched through the speakers. "I know you can but maybe next time just in case, ask for help."

Type doesn't answer just crawls back up on the couch, soda can left on the coffee table in front of them. They settle in and type sits close to Gulf, part of the way through the move his tiny body slumps over fast asleep. Gulf smiles leaning him to lay on the couch, tucking the covers up to his chin. Gulf moves lean to the other side of the couch watching the movie until he falls asleep as well.

"Gulf," Mew says in a hushed tone. Gulf grumbles, peaking open his eyes when he feels tiny fingers wiggle against his side. He can hear Types (attempted) stifled laugh.

Gulf lets out a tiny fake loud laugh, rolling away from the wiggling fingers as Type laughs loudly, proud of himself for tickling Gulf.

Gulf blinks open his eyes to see Mew smiling down at him. "I told you it would be fine."

----

It was a couple of days later when Gulf pulls on a pair of boxers before closing the drawer with his hip. He glances down the bottom drawer.

"Mew." He calls and he gets a muffled grunt in response. "I think I've decided."

"Decided?" Mew responds then appears in the doorway looking at him with a raised brow.

"We should adopt."

Mew chocks on his saliva, coughing for a moment. "What?"

"Adopt." Gulf pulls open the bottom drawer pulling out the dino onesie in Mews size. "I want to see our kids wear these matching outfits with us."

Mew's eyes get all teary and Gulf can see the emotions already stirring up in Mew. so emotional. Mew steps forwards wrapping him in a hug. "I think that would be great."

Gulf lets Mew get to hug him for a moment patting his back, consoling him before pulling back slightly, "Do you know what else would be great?"

Mew hums trying to pull Gulf back to him. Gulf snickered at Mews grumbling for snuggles.

"We should wear this while we..." Gulf wiggles his brow pointing over his shoulder to the bed.

"You wear it or I wear?"

Gulf ponders it for a minute, looing between the outfit and Mew. "I'd let a T-rex eat my ass any day."

Mew grains squeezing his eyes shut. "Don't say that."

"Godzilla can take me to pound town?" Gulf tries and Mew pushes him away and onto the bed.

"Stop talking or I'm not wearing it."

"You can tricera-top me." Mew slaps a hand over Gulf mouth, damping the laughter spilling out.

#MewGulf au #MewGulf fic #Gulf being a good babysitter #fluff fic

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