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papers4me · 3 years

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Fruits Basket Manga Review , ch 112 & 113 (part 2)

I hate that this chapter is cut... mainly cuz it deals with the most “ horribly presented” theme in furuba anime.... grief.

-The shame of grieving: “ Rarely discussed theme in Literature”:

When a love one dies... ppl differ in how they deal with it. Some cry their hearts out, some become depressed & painfully lonely, others get angry or cynical, some might deny it, some move on quickly, others move on but years after the realization crushes them, others stay still... Above all, you feel ashamed of yourself if you didn’t move on or if you DID move on.. “ Sometimes ppl around you judge you for it... for your grief”

The later is the theme of these two chapters. Rarely discussed themes & it saddens me that it is cut. You see, Furuba anime doesn’t get grief at all. To them, it’s a small part of the generic protagonist after she finishes her job of nurturing the real main protagonist. Mothers are strong, they help us cross the bridge between childhood & adulthood. Tohru, the show’s mom, did it so thoroughly & in slow visual & narrative details for yuki. Afterwards, the anime brushed whatever is left of her character, which the anime viewed as sheer suspenseful drama, & collected it thro 3rd person story-telling techniques in one ep “ se3, ep6″ & excessive monologue for 10 minutes in se3, ep9.

In this chapter, Kakeru, a side character, sheds light into this theme. Kakeru didn’t lose a parent by death, didn’t grieve, has no dependent familial bonds with either dead parents “ kyoko & komaki’s dad”. Yet, kakeru stood & judged tohru on how she “ should” grieve. Harshly tearing her down while she’s standing there lonely, trying to hide her shock at the loss of her only pillar in life, broken & traumatized, dealing with the pushed down traumatic feelings from her past where her mom abandoned her as a child..now her mom did it again, this time thro death.. & kakeru, rightfully not knowing all that, but wrongfully lecturing her on how to behave... kakeru isn’t a monster, but he only saw what he wanted: komaki & how the world should grieve with his lover, how he should be the hero protecting her. So self-centered, insensitive, horribly cruel & unbelievably conceited, but above all... what he did is so sadly common... it hurts.

-Judging Grieving People:

As I said many times.. grief is so personal, so unique to the person & as common as it is, so misunderstood. According to kakeru & many ppl I’ve sopken to lately, tohru should have acknowledged komaki. Komaki, the not-traumatized version of tohru, did the right “ tohru-like” thing. Not only felt sadness at the loss of her own dad, but found it in her heart to visit the other orphan, tohru, & give condolences & respect to the dead mother. Such kindness & purity. Very deserving of applaud: To not only see your pain but others’ as well. Tohru has always done the “ right, kind” thing to other ppl. When she can’t now, the author brought another “ tohru” to do the “ right, kind” thing.

Kakeru is so many ppl. During my brother’s funeral. I’ve heard so many gossip on how my mom should’ve stood tall & greeted the visitors.” Being silent , emotionless & non-responsive is not how you show visitors you value their kind words”, they said. How his widow should’ve collected herself & acted properly, respected his memory by taking proper care of herself & her kids. “Being a broken mess is not how you “ honor” loved one”, they said. Kakeru is indeed many ppl & that’s how you discuss a theme by creating characters who sin, screw up & be cruel, even if momentarily.

Kakeru is wrong. There is no “ you should have” in grief. There is no ounce of truth in his demeaning lecture to tohru & I respect komaki for her reaction to him so much. Kakeru did learn & grew from it, apologized to tohru even if he didn’t actually sought her to do so & even if she herself started the apology. But you see, these two chapters are 90% focused on kakeru as a character, his growth, thoughts, the mini focus on his relationship with komaki as an example of healthy relationship & all that is another lesson for yuki to observe & learn. He learned abt tohru’s past, kakeru’s personality & growth & got to observe another example of romantic relationship so yuki can grow as a man & approach machi healthily. But then again... nothing at all stops yuki/machi from being healthy, no past issues, no contradicting personalities “ they’re quite similar” & yuki is the only furuba character that doesn’t screw up big. He learns & teaches. He’s the personification of the author.

-Tohru.. stays a “ tohru”:

Tohru’s part is 10% of the this chapter which is fine as I think/hope it will lead into more tohru depth in the following chapters. But It is for this reason I’m glad this chapter was cut in the 13 eps season of furuba anime, cuz tohru doesnt have much depth in the anime due to the quick wrap up & the la~~~~st thing I want is another 3rd person story-telling flashback abt tohru in the anime. Honestly, one of the most frustrating aspect to me of the anime & I’ll hold judgement abt manga- tohru till I reach its end. So far~~~ Tohru’s depth & character exploration gets better one chapter, then regress the next one, then moves on, the... it’s a fluctuating process. It has nothing to do with tohtu’s feelings.

you’ see ... kyo himself as a character with issues fluctuates a lot, he does sth good, then does sth bad, chooses right words, then makes a horrible mistake & chooses wrong! which is one of the most well-done aspects of character exploration that is rarely attempted by authors! I highly respect Takaya-san for what she’s doing with kyo in the manga so far. Other authors show us a character doing one big mistake & then he/she learns from it in a dramatic way. But Takaya-san, nope! she decided to approach it in a very human way, making us be frustrated with kyo’s repeated mistakes yet understands where he’s coming from! kudos to her!!

But I’m not yet satisfied with how tohru is portrayed in the manga & this has nothing to do with tohru’s character. Takaya-san is discussing rare themes thro tohru’s character. But what I mean is how tohru is approached thro the viewers/readers eyes. I wont judge until the last chapter. but this is the part that is frustrating to me.

Side Notes:

The flow of the 2 chapters is little off. We go back & forth between the past & the present, between yuki-machi & komaki-kakeru. Again, I’m so glad the anime cut it cuz, nope! they can’t handle such narrative. they’ll reorder it in a such heavily monologing way & insert the comedy abruptly to lighten the mood. Just look at how the comedy is inserted in momiji’s se03 ep!

Komaki is such a tohru with a sprinkle of kagura’s very softened outbursts. lol. she’s fun!

I’m liking yuki-machi interactions a lot. no drama, which is why the anime cut it -_-’, but it progresses healthily. Machi is yuki’s third-stage growth after (1) leaving tohru’s nest (baby yuki), (b) making friends with kakeru/someone who gets him (young boy yuki), (3) finding romantic love (being a man). The anime was so interested in the 2 stages above cuz that’s where the drama is & cut the third. Honestly, the anime didn’t have to include everything as there is never a space in 13 eps, but they certainly could’ve squeezed few panels or even made brand new very short yuki-machi scenes. but the anime weirdly decided after yuki “ saved” machi from her trauma by talking with her in her apartment, he should just marry her.... lol.. that’s why next scene is ep 5 momiji’s ep intro montage where yuki was abt to confess!!! making yuki-machi the least developed couple in the anime!

I love all furuba’s characters, but yuki, tohru, kyo & akito carry the big themes, therefore, I not only analyze their characters, but how the themes are presented thro them & how their presentation affects such themes. This might make it sound as I hate them or am harsh on them. not at all. It is the anime director/ manga author that I’m positively or negatively criticizing most times. Most importantly, my criticism is not the law. It’s just my perspective & my consumption of the material. Feel free to differ with me. I dont mind it. It brings interesting discussions!

When it comes to tohru’s issues... his chapter introduced nothing new. We have seen/read in canon repeatedly that tohru hides her pain behind a smile (heck! even kisa knows that & told us), that she cant stand up for herself much, that she smiles for other ppl not for herself. All this was presented thro so many characters already, which is why I understand the anime’s decision to cut it. What’s new? that yuki didn know tohru’s smile is mostly a mask & that kakleru has depth.

I love this chapter for the grieving themes it discussed that are rarely touched upon in literature, but since such themes are rarely presented, the anime’s decision to cut it, ironically proves my point! lol . They don’t get grief & so, they reduced it to se03 content & two eps worth. sad.. but expected. The anime is indeed another form of “past” kakeru: seeing one side of grieving person. The happy side.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #manga review #fruits basket manga #manga spoilers #sad paper #I love you little bro #I miss u

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kewltie · 4 years

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terminally ill!izuky summons a demon to fulfill his wish but somehow got the archduke of hell instead & kaasktosuuki is livid that this mere mortal managed to ensnared him in a devil trap, so plans to make a deal & eat izuku's soul afterward but izuku is like,,, pls be my friend. look, when most ppl summoned demon it's usually for money power, status, love, etc but izuku who has been alone for so long & about to die soon want to spend the last few months on earth w/ someone. the more pure the soul is the stronger the wish and Izuku's soul is the purest and also the most delicious kaasktosuuki had ever seen on a mortal. eating Izuku's soul would grant huge powerups for demons so he actually luck out w/ Izuku, but Izuku's wish is sooo fucking weird & unimaginably stupid that it traps him here fulfill their contract!!!

kaasktosuuki, one of the pillars of hell, an archduke, ruler of the 7th realm, etc has to play friend w/ a terribly sick boy whose life is quickly burning out. he did not sign up for this shit, but a devil's contract is binding of blood & soul so they're stuck together. kaasktosuuki is then renamed kacchan by izuku bc it's easier on the human's tongue but names are power for demons so a mere human able to do that is kinda ridiculous???? katsuki doesn't know what the fuck is up w/ his charge but izuku from all appearances is wretchedly normal. yet he managed to call upon an archduke of hell, bound kaasktosuuki, and RENAMED HIM. kacchan would have kill izuku right off the bat if Izuku's soul wasn't such a delicacy only seen once every few hundred thousand years. so here he is watching over his human and playing house w/ him lmao.

it's only one year and izuku gonna die soon, so kacchan just need to wait it out that long but he underestimate what a troublemaking/trouble magnet this dumb izuku is bc other demons come after him bc delicious pure soul so kacchan got to defend & protect his food ok??? FUCK. the months passed by and kacchan & izuku settle into a some sort of routine where kacchan carefully tends & protect izuku bc it's kinda like how a human would raise a rare flower that would bloom every few hundred years. you take good care of it so one day it will bears fruit for you, so that's what he's doing or so he thinks.

in reality, kacchan takes his duty v v v v seriously as Izuku's guardian, making sure izuku eat the best food & not some frozen meal he had been eating, clearing out the hooligans hanging around Izuku's neighborhood, & making sure izuku always dress in the finest clothes.

basically, he's like a sugar daddy but waaaaaay better/worst bc he's a demon & can provide izuku w/ everything he needs but in exchange for Izuku's soul in the end. he takes the utmost care of izuku by providing him goods and services and ensuring Izuku's happiness while izuku is just his usual self. super ordinary, mid-manner, tenderhearted, and yet hidden behind those soft layers is a boy who tamed an archduke of hell & is fearless in the faces of all the demons that want to eat him now, but only bc he know kacchan would be there for him.

izuku was made orphan at a v v young age so he was always alone & he was terrified of being abandoned, left forgotten by the world that no one will even remember he existed so that why he made a deal w/ the devil that night bc he couldnt bear dying alone but now he knows that if he died today, it would in kacchan's arms and when he eat Izuku's soul, it would be a part of kacchan forever so izuku wont ever be alone again. he'll always be with kacchan even in death so he wasnt ever afraid of dying which made him reckless and fearless. even when he's facing down army of demons or the scowling face of an archduke of hell who is beyond pissed that izuku came home late from work even tho kacchan said izuku didnt need to do menial labor anymore bc he was gonna take care of all their expanses bc izuku just smile.

somehow he’d made a weird family with a demon, who turns out to be v v v good at chores and adapting to human ways as kacchan make sure izuku isn't deprived of anything: safety, a home, comfort, & all things frail human needs like he's an everyday devoted househusband lmao.

he cleans up neighborhood gangs, made himself their leader and force them protect Izuku's home and neighborhood, turning them into his army of violent guardians of the neighborhood?? built Izuku a vegetable garden bc izuku got to stay healthy bc he cant trust other ppl's food. He even fixed up Izuku's crumbling apartment bc it's a shithole & then killed the owner bc he's fucking corrupted & useless so now he owns the entire building & give everyone free rent as long as they swear loyalty to him & dont fucking piss him off bc wut does he need w/ human cash?

kacchan is a demon, but he does good deeds inadvertently bc he's taking care of izuku and honestly the world is crap so he gotta to remake it so it's better for izuku to live in lmao. he's not doing this out of goodwill or selfless act okkk it's for izuku's soul!!! or basically how an ancient and powerful demon got accidentally suckered into adopting and saving humanity bc of one human boy.

#bakudeku #not!fic

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akechicrimes · 4 years

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Prompt 37? Futaba and Akechi platonic/Futago siblings?

37. “Follow me. It’s okay, just hold my hand.”

after akira leaves tokyo, futaba does just fine without her key item, except for when she doesnt.

(one of them AUs were goro survives the engine room and rejoins the phantom thieves. no i will not explain. persona 5 canon AND persona 5 royal do not interact. for reference in this universe futaba and akechi are half siblings but only akechi knows that)

“Next time you see me, I’ll be a whole new person,” Futaba tells Akira excitedly on his second-to-last day in Tokyo. “I’m going back to school, I’m out and about by myself—oh! Oh! Did I tell you I said yes to Kosei? I told Kosei I wanted to go to Shujin and they offered me scholarship! And I went to the subway station by myself yesterday!”

They’re crammed into Akira’s Leblanc attic, sitting around a cake that literally none of them were capable of baking themselves, so they’d bought the thing from a bakery and decorated it with little black and red hearts. Ryuji is passing around his gross soda, while Ann is recounting some story that doesn’t matter with incredible enthusiasm. Makoto looks like she’s determined to enjoy herself and will hear no argument.

The whole thing is incredibly morbid, if you ask Futaba. It feels less like they’re waiting for Akira to leave Tokyo and more like they’re attending Akira’s funeral. Akechi in particular looks like he’s regretting attending, which honestly tickles Futaba more than it should, that the most dishonest Phantom Thief seems to be the only one looking as honestly put-off by the entire affair as everyone else is determined not to be.

That’s everyone else’s problem. Futaba might not be happy Akira has to leave, but she’s proud. She’s sad that Akira has to leave, but also she promised Akira that by the time that he had to leave, she’d be able to get around on her own, without clinging to him for support. And she is able. She kept her promise.

Tomorrow might be the day that Akira has to go, but today is the day that Futaba is Officially Recovered.

Akira does that annoying thing he does where he puts his hand on her head and messes up all her hair, like he’s a human cat showing affection by pissing everyone off. Futaba yelps. “Look at you. You don’t need me at all.”

“I told you that I’d be ready to say goodbye by the time you had to go back to your hometown,” says Futaba. “I haven’t broken my promises yet, have I?”

There’s a burst of laughter from Haru over something Yusuke said, who looks rather surprised to discover that he said anything funny. Both Makoto and Akechi snicker at him, and then stop immediately to glare at each other the second they realize they’ve accidentally wound up sharing an opinion.

Akira ignores them. “Well, you can still text me if you need me. Or call.”

“I’m trying to tell you I’m getting better and I don’t need you,” Futaba grumbles. “Also, what kind of psychopath do you think I am to call someone on the phone?”

“That’s what phones are for.”

“Calling people is scary.”

“I thought you were getting better?” Akira teases.

“I am!” she says, pointing a finger at him. “I am! Just you watch, Akira. I’m getting better every day.”

Six months after joining Kosei, Futaba locks herself in her room and does not reemerge for seven days straight.

She tells Sojiro that she’s sick. Sojiro tells the school that Futaba told him that she’s sick. She definitely fakes a hell of a good cough, and the school lets Yusuke send her her all the homework that she was supposed to be doing in the first place, but Futaba already knows it’s only a matter of time before Sojiro rats on her, and she won’t even blame him because it’ll be for her own good.

In the meantime, she has stashes of crackers and peanut butter from back when she was a full-time hermit. She hates the taste of peanut butter within three days. Her bed is a relief, soft like a home she never left, up until it isn’t anymore. It’s too soft. No matter how she lies on it, no matter how soft it is, a mattress just isn’t comfortable when you’ve been lying on it for seventy-four hours. It’s hot. Smothering. She feels like she’s going to drown in the blankets and they’ll have to fish her moldy, sweaty corpse out of the bottomless quicksand pit of her too-soft mattress.

The thing about being a shut-in is that you don’t actually like your room very much. It’s not a relief, or an oasis, or even a place you enjoy. You’re just terrified of everywhere else more.

She plays a lot of video games that she doesn’t even like. She watches a lot of Twitch streamers she doesn’t even like. She doesn’t do her homework. She ignores Sojiro. She pretends she’s alright to everyone who texts. She wakes up and goes to sleep and thinks about going outside and goes to sleep and wakes up and wonders if the whole last year and her cautious baby steps back into the world outside was all just a hazy dream.

There aren’t a lot of Thieves left in Tokyo, weirdly. Haru and Makoto both graduated, off doing business and law junk that honestly makes Futaba’s brains want to crawl out her ears, but all the numbers check out and Haru’s not in the red yet, and Futaba’s looked at enough people’s dirty laundry to appreciate Haru’s clean ledger. Akira’s back in his dinky hicktown, where there’s barely anything electronic connected to Wifi worth breaking into for surveillance, which is really boring.

Ann’s been doing so many modeling gigs that she might as well not be attending Shujin anymore. She’s practically surrounded by electronics, and all of them are connected to the internet. On any given day, Futaba can snoop through the internet trail of electronic file cabinets full of images of her face, emails about her face, paychecks for her face. Futaba sends Ann more than one email about creepy old dudes making gross comments about her, along with a bunch of other illegal shit they’ve done, plus their offshore accounts full of cash if Ann wants Futaba to sic a lawyer on them.

Ann looks like she’s having fun. Ann looks different on the other side of the computer screen, like she’s less real. Like she’s not someone Futaba really knows. Like Ann’s not someone Futaba’s literally cried on at one point in her life.

Ryuji is definitely attending Shujin, but between physical therapy, catching up on a whole year of track, athletic scholarship hunting, and studying for college admissions tests, Ryuji seems to have been swallowed whole by Shujin, really. Out of boredom, one day, Futaba went down that rabbit hole of researching what it takes to get recruited for track in college, and holy shit–apparently Ryuji’s coach was supposed to be helping him with that whole process, but of course Ryuji barely has a proper coach ever since Kamoshida left Shujin’s track program in pieces. The amount of networking he’s doing is insane, especially for one teenaged boy who barely remembers his homework every night.

Sometimes, when Ryuji’s forgotten to check his email in a while and there’s a message from a coach sitting in his inbox, Futaba will send him a text to make him check it. And then it’s all, What were you doing looking at my emails, Futaba and Which of my other passwords do you know, Futaba, as if Ryuji doesn’t just use the same password over and over and has literally nobody but himself to blame.

So it’s really just Futaba, Yusuke, and–weirdly–Akechi, who’s off doing his gap year and said he was going to go abroad, but then he never did. Not to be a huge snoop, but Futaba went digging through his junk for about five seconds and then she never did it again, because she felt really weird about finding out that the guy that killed her mom is looking into social work, volunteerism, and reforming the justice system.

Like. The man who killed the Thieves’ leader is now literally out there saving orphans. It’s wild.

She might’ve been the one to tell Akechi that he can start over again and do better, but she reserves the right to at least feel weird about it.

She does not call Akira. She talks to Yusuke at school, but she refuses to ask him to accompany her on the subway. She should be recovered by now, shouldn’t she? She was supposed to have gotten over all that when Akira left Tokyo. She’s doing fine. She’s just looking out for her friends. Her, living vicariously through her friends, who’re growing up and growing away, flourishing into young adults? Never.

Everything is the same.

Didn’t she help kill a god last year?

Didn’t she work so hard to get out of her room, to make friends, to reconnect with Kana-chan?

Didn’t she work so hard to change herself?

Didn’t she help change the world?

Everything is the same.

Tuesday, 1:43 PM

YUSUKE: Futaba?

FUTABA: yo inari

FUTABA: u got more homework for me or what

YUSUKE: Ah, no.

YUSUKE: I think your teacher finds it suspicious that I’m sending you homework when I’m not in your grade, as it is.

FUTABA: oh no

FUTABA: what a shame that we didn’t have an entire year of experience with getting away with wildly illegal magic brain crimes without raising any suspicion

FUTABA: truly emailing me like four pieces of paper a day is far too difficult

YUSUKE: Well, I can’t get your homework from your teacher, but I can give you more homework if you’d like.

FUTABA: ok bucko that wasn’t a challenge

YUSUKE: There’s a math problem set that’s been incredibly dull to get through when I have more important pieces I could be working on…

FUTABA: inari im sorry to say but

FUTABA: me literally doing your homework for you is about a thousand times more illegal than you giving me my homework when ur not in my grade

YUSUKE: Oh, is it?

FUTABA: wh

FUTABA: are y

FUTABA: what do you mean OH IS IT

FUTABA: did you not KNOW ur not allowed to have other ppl do ur hw????

FUTABA: inari have u been making other people do ur hw for u so u can have more time to do art?????????

FUTABA: no shut up i dont want to know

FUTABA: i will not be ur accomplice

FUTABA: i see ur little speech bubble thingamajig yusuke i said stop typing forever and ever

YUSUKE: I can’t invite you to the art gallery tomorrow if I can’t type.

YUSUKE: It also seems impractical for you to outlaw me from texting forever.

FUTABA: i literally did not say that

YUSUKE: You said, and I quote,

YUSUKE: “Yusuke, I said stop typing forever and ever.”

FUTABA: ok i know it looks like i said that but please im begging u it’s literally just an exaggeration

YUSUKE: As Makoto would say, it’s hardly an enforceable law.

FUTABA: u literally texted my sick and crusty ass just to give me a hard time

YUSUKE: Are you about recovered from your cold?

FUTABA: and now u have the nerve to ask me to go to ur art show thing

YUSUKE: I didn’t say that.

FUTABA: oh really

FUTABA: what were u gonna ask me about then

YUSUKE: The art show, naturally.

YUSUKE: But you could have done me the courtesy of letting me ask.

FUTABA: all that on the day of my daughter’s wedding and now u want me to do u a solid

FUTABA: well i have news for u

FUTABA: the answer

FUTABA: is yeah

FUTABA: sure why not

YUSUKE: Oh, excellent.

YUSUKE: I thought that you might decline on account of your illness.

FUTABA: i’m not a punk bitch

FUTABA: i’m going

FUTABA: u were only working all those paintings for like two months i wanna see their oily faces in person

YUSUKE: Just because they were made with oil paints does not mean that they are oily.

FUTABA: cant wait to see my oily boys

YUSUKE: Unfortunately, I have to set up the event beforehand, so I will not be able to accompany you on the way here.

YUSUKE: Will you be alright by yourself?

FUTABA: uh

FUTABA: hmm

FUTABA: how oily are these boys in case i need to call a rain check

YUSUKE: Hmm.

YUSUKE: Perhaps someone else can go with you.

YUSUKE: Let me see if I can find someone.

FUTABA: what like one of ur art friends

FUTABA: i’m not going with anyone i dont know sry

YUSUKE: I’ll keep it in mind.

Tuesday, 1:59 PM

YUSUKE: Unfortunately, Ann and Ryuji were not available. Both of them will be coming late to the art show.

YUSUKE: Fortunately, Goro is.

FUTABA: whomst

YUSUKE: Goro Akechi?

YUSUKE: Crow, in case you know multiple Goro Akechis.

FUTABA: no like why u callin him goro

YUSUKE: I asked him if I could and he said yes.

YUSUKE: There’s not many people left in Tokyo who were part of the Thieves.

YUSUKE: I’m not exactly popular at school myself, so I thought it prudent to hold onto the connections I already had.

FUTABA: hhhhhhhhhhhhh

FUTABA: but why him……………………………………….

YUSUKE: Has he done something wrong?

YUSUKE: Well.

YUSUKE: Besides the obvious.

YUSUKE: Last I heard, you were quite vocally supportive of Goro making a change for the better,but have you prehaps reconsidered?

FUTABA: i mean he’s always been nice to me

FUTABA: like even before he was on the team as crow

FUTABA: and then later after he like lost his shit and tried to kill us

FUTABA: he was also like weirdly nice

FUTABA: even if he was dressed as a tokusatsu villain

FUTABA: but

FUTABA: i

FUTABA: ok this is gonna sound really weird but like

FUTABA: you know how i said that the person to take me to the art show has to be someone that i know

YUSUKE: Yes.

FUTABA: even though akechi was one of the thieves at the end

FUTABA: i feel like i dont really know him

FUTABA: he like had that whole breakdown where he spilled all his kylo ren sadstuck junk and then he peeled his dumb ass up off the floor and then we beat up his dad in a dark alley

FUTABA: and then i guess akira likes him a bunch and hangs out with him and i guess probably talked to him about all that stuff that happened

FUTABA: and also i think ann talks to him

FUTABA: and also haru i think for some reason……………………..

FUTABA: but like i feel like. we as a group. never really uhhhhhhh

FUTABA: got to know him very well i guess

FUTABA: because he spent like the whole year being a fake ass bitch

FUTABA: and then by the time he wasnt, the thieves were busy literally fighting god, and it was all business business business

FUTABA: ughghfhg i guess this is just a really long way of saying that like yeah ok i guess i do know him but i dont think i really do

FUTABA: even when he was off the shits in the engine room it was like

FUTABA: somehow that was not……………………………….. really him

FUTABA: idk maybe this is just my Thoughts but like

FUTABA: idk some people are like “your true self is who you are at your worst” and

FUTABA: yeah maybe you are some PART of urself when youre at your worst but like

FUTABA: also not???

FUTABA: that can’t be it

FUTABA: that’s not ALL of you

FUTABA: so all i ever saw was him when he was being a fake ass barbie prince and then when he was like actively losing his shit

FUTABA: and both of those were like. two types of fake ass barbie prince

FUTABA: except obviously the one where he started screamin about murder and trying to kill joker was like, fake ass serial killer barbie prince

FUTABA: anyway i dont buy it for a second that seeing akechi at his worst means that i know the first thing about his “”“”“”“”“true self”“”“”“”“”“”“

FUTABA: like i know that i technically met him but also at the same time i dont think ive ever really actually met this dude

FUTABA: uh tldr what’s the truth crowboy

FUTABA: second tldr do you got anyone else i can go to the art show with because im not unpackin all that junk in the trunk while also trying to fend off a panic attack in the subway

YUSUKE: Well, to speak to "what’s the truth, crowboy,” I’d say he’s actually really funny.

FUTABA: WHAT

YUSUKE: Yes, actually.

FUTABA: YOU TRYNA TELL ME YOU SHARE A SENSE OF HUMOR W AKECHI

YUSUKE: As everyone knows, I don’t have a sense of humor.

YUSUKE: But if I did, that might not be inaccurate to say.

YUSUKE: Either way, we could ask Boss if he’ll take you to school.

FUTABA: no

FUTABA: im not makin him shut down leblanc for the day just cause i cant get my shit together

FUTABA: and i go to school by myself all the time now i dont need to be walked there by my dad like a four yr old

FUTABA: r u sure u dont have anyone else who can take me

YUSUKE: You said it had to be someone you know.

YUSUKE: I can take you.

YUSUKE: But I’ll be getting to Kosei early to prepare.

FUTABA: how early is early

YUSUKE: Four in the morning.

FUTABA: PLEASE INARI

YUSUKE: The people you know is a quite limited pool, Futaba.

FUTABA: shut the hell ur face i dont need u tellin me to make kosei friends too

FUTABA: i get my butt to school every day i’m already a hero

FUTABA: ok alright

FUTABA: crow-san it is

FUTABA: hhh

FUTABA: no shut up stop typing i’m fine

FUTABA: i already saw his dumb ass get inflicted with Horny from Yaldy God Himself i ain’t afraid of no crows

FUTABA: actually now that i remember that that was pretty funny mwehehehehehehe

FUTABA: OKAY send me the who what when where why

YUSUKE: There’s a PDF flier. I’ll send it to you.

YUSUKE: But I will have to type the email to send it to you.

FUTABA: oh my GOD inari

FUTABA: i swear to god ur not actually this dense and youre just pretending u dont know what an exaggeration is just to drive me up the wall

YUSUKE: Oh, that is a possibility, isn’t it?

FUTABA: WH

YUSUKE: Ah, last period is starting. I’ll have to talk to you later.

FUTABA: WHAT

FUTABA: NO WAIT

FUTABA: HELLO????

FUTABA: YUSUKE NO COME BACK

Tuesday, 2:53 PM

FUTABA: YUSUKE HAVE YOU BEEN MAKING AKECHI DO UR HW FOR U SO YOU CAN DO MORE ART??

FUTABA: IS THAT WHY UR ON A FIRST NAME BASIS W HIM

FUTABA: ANSWER ME STRINGBEAN

In Futaba’s opinion, there’s an infinite amount of more embarrassing reasons to pull yourself out of your depression pit than “I needed to yell at my friend for being a snotty bastard,“ and there’s worse escorts to have than the weird guy who went from being a professional murderer to their weird awkward friend. Firstly, if there’s anything that can motivate Futaba Sakura, it’s the primal urge to dunk on her friends for spite and memes. Secondly, there’s no chance in hell Futaba’s going to have a breakdown in front of Akechi.

She can do this. She got herself out of this grave once; she can do it again. Even if Akira isn’t here. She’s getting better. She promised him.

On the eighth day of her almost-return to hermithood, Akechi texts her:

AKECHI: I’m here.

AKECHI: Are you ready to go?

Futaba is wearing only an old shirt, no bra, sweats, and vaguely greasy hair from all the showers she’s skipped.

FUTABA: i’m SO ready

FUTABA: the readiest

FUTABA: ultra mega super ready

FUTABA: featherman ranger code name Ready

AKECHI: Oh.

AKECHI: Alright.

Hell yes alright. Time for Futaba to save her own life from her gravesite of a room.

With… Goro Akechi. Wow, life is weird, huh?

She drags on her Kosei uniform like a skin discarded long ago. It feels stiff. Maybe because it feels wrong to wear school clothes like a functioning human; maybe because she just hasn’t washed it in a week. The very idea of explaining herself to Sojiro stresses her out, so she doesn’t do it. The idea of not explaining herself to Sojiro, when he deserves an explanation and also would probably have a heart attack if he realized that she’d disappeared from her room without his knowing, also stresses her out, so she still doesn’t explain herself to Sojiro.

I told Akira I’m better now. I can do this. I did this for more than six months. I was out of my room in the real world, I went to the school festival, I changed my own heart…

She creeps down the stairs like a thief in her own house and pokes her head out the door. Goro Akechi is fiddling with his phone in the sun outside her house, looking like he, too, has only just managed to pull on his Human Suit and look like a guy who didn’t make shadows beg for mercy for fun, so it looks like this whole expedition is going to be a lot of fun.

"Futaba-chan?” says Akechi, only just noticing her lurking in her own doorway. “It’s been a while since we last saw each other. How are you?”

Futaba opens her mouth. No noise comes out.

Akechi’s eyebrows slowly begin to knit together.

“I’m good,” she says squeakily. Clears her throat. Holy shit, she’s not afraid of Akechi after all that junk they went through in the Metaverse. She saw him as a rat. She saw him visibly want to break his father’s face when Shido tried to apologize to him on live TV. Once, Makoto and Akechi got into an unironic, passionate, hour-long argument about whether or not it’s beneficial to color code your notes.

“I’m alright!” Futaba announces louder, maybe a little loudly, considering the way he looks only more concerned. “L-Let’s hurry up and get this sidequest over with!”

She pulls her hoodie over her head and jams her hands into the pockets and makes herself as small as possible and inches out of the doorway. “If you… say so,” says Akechi, and eventually matches her incredibly slow pace as she shuffles her way towards the main street.

When the noise of Yongen-Jaya’s street hits her, her heart rate (already high as hell) spikes even higher like the first day she’d come out of her room, but the old coping mechanisms come back like second nature: Breathe slower, avoid eye contact, remember her mission, stick to the sides of the streets. Breathe slower. She’s still got it. It’s still hard, but she’s got a whole arsenal of ways to deal. She can do this. She will kick Yusuke’s ass for being a dick, if only out of sheer spite.

If Akira were here, I could hide behind him and…

No, shut up, shut up. All she has is her hoodie and Goro Akechi. Akira’s not here. She can do this by herself.

Akechi makes precisely two attempts at small talk (“How has Kosei been?” “Have you seen the pieces Yusuke submitted to the art show before?”) before he realizes that Futaba isn’t going to respond by virtue of barely holding onto her shit by her fingernails. He shuts up and sticks close by. Futaba makes her way down the streets towards the subway like walking on a tightrope. The subway station isn’t busy, but she puts every step in front of her like she’s going to fall. Getting on the subway might as well be a highwire. Futaba and Akechi wait for the train in mutual silence to the sound of other commuters murmuring amongst themselves, like a toothless echo of Mementos’s depths.

When they get on the train, people around her are quiet, thank god, but all of a sudden she’s convinced that she smells because she hasn’t taken a shower in literal days, and she tries to pack herself into her seat as tightly as possible. The guy in front of her is scrolling through something at a ferocious pace and his thumbnail keeps hitting the screen with this incessant clack, clack, clack noise. The subway voice announces their next station as the doors begin to close, and a girl suddenly sits bolt upright, having realized that this is her station after all, and bangs Futaba’s knees hard as she passes. Futaba wants to curl her legs to her chest, but she’s wearing Kosei’s uniform skirt and it’d just make everyone stare at her if she did that on the subway. She curls her fingers into the skirt hem. She stares down at her knees and lets her hair drape around her like a curtain. She can do this. She can do this. Breathe slower. Even slower. I did this for more than six months, I told Akira I’m better now, I changed my own heart…

Akechi pulls out his phone. Futaba’s phone buzzes.

AKECHI: Are you alright?

FUTABA: i said i was ready dude

Akechi types and retypes an answer, which technically Futaba could just look over his arm and read, but instead Futaba flips through apps on her phone and pulls up a shitty mobile dungeon crawler. She dies four times before Akechi puts his phone away without sending anything.

They pass multiple stations like that. Futaba sure as hell hopes that Akechi’s watching which station they’re on, because she isn’t. After the millionth time she dies, Futaba just closes the app altogether. Concentration’s shot. Can’t focus on anything. Heartbeat’s too loud. Breathing’s too loud. The guy next to her is breathing too loud. Everything is too loud.

New text:

AKECHI: Yusuke said you’d recovered from your cold, but you still look a little unwell.

Futaba doesn’t respond to that. She doesn’t need Negative Nancy over here telling her she’s gonna crack. Because she isn’t gonna. The subway starts to slow, and the voice announces the station for Yusuke’s school. She’s literally almost there, she’s right there, she might die in three seconds because her heart is going to pound of her chest but at least she’s going to make it, she promised Akira that she was alright—

The subway doors open. Passengers stand to get off. Akechi stands up. Futaba drops like a rock.

“I can’t,” Futaba’s voice says. She sounds like she’s crying. “I can’t, I can’t do it, I—”

“Futaba—”

“I’m can’t do it, I—”

She buries her face in her knees on the dirty subway floor. Oh, she really is crying. “I’m sorry,” she says, “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t…”

Around her, people’s feet stop moving. They’re staring at her. She’s crying on the subway and everyone is staring at her. “Shh,” says Akechi, like Futaba doesn’t know she’s being a loud and irritating pest, but then he takes off his winter coat and covers her with it. Suddenly everything goes dark. It’s a huge coat, too; it wraps around her whole torso with enough room to spare to cover her entire head. Inside, it’s like she’s back in her room, only listening to the sounds of real life somewhere on the other side of a computer monitor, where it can’t hurt her. It’s so surprising she hiccups to a stop. Two hands pull her up by the shoulders and guide her to stand. “Up. Let’s go.”

“Is she okay?” says a voice.

Futaba’s entire body seizes with fear. She ducks into her own knees, trying to disappear.

“Hey, little girl, are you alright?”

“She’ll be fine,” says Akechi’s friendly, super fake ass barbie prince voice. “My sister just had a hard day. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

“A hard day?” Now the stranger’s voice is accusatory.

“For your information, our dog was recently brutally run over in front of her eyes.”

“Young man, are you serious right now?”

“Oh, yes. There was blood everywhere. Its intestines squelched horribly under the tires less than six feet away from her,” Akechi goes on. Futaba chokes, and then hiccups in what she realizes is almost a laugh. “Please excuse her. Thank you.” And before the literal complete stranger can follow up on that awful statement, Akechi takes her hand and pulls her up.

Futaba stumbles to her feet. If she has to take the coat off right now, she will actually die.

“It’s okay. Just hold my hand and follow me.”

Blindly, she lets him lead her out of the subway, weaving through people with only minimal contact with other people’s shoulders. There’s a whole awkward period where Akechi has to walk her up the stairs out of the subway station while she can’t see anything, but eventually the noise and bustle of other people around her seems to die away, and the air grows cooler in the way it does in the shadows between city buildings. Then they stop walking altogether. When Akechi lets go of her hand, she almost tries to grab it back before she catches herself.

“Okay. There’s nobody else around, now. It’s safe.”

Futaba doesn’t come out of the jacket. In the dark, her eyes dart back and forth, trying to see even as she blinds herself.

“Sorry for grabbing you so suddenly like that,” Akechi’s voice goes on after it becomes obvious she’s not going to come out.

Futaba wipes snottily at her own face. Oh, this is so gross, she’s got snot and tears on top of five days worth of grime and body juice because she hadn’t taken a shower. She’s disgusting. She really actually wants to die right now. She can’t show her face like this.

“Er,” says Akechi. “Do you want…. water, or…?”

Futaba folds up right there on the city pavement, probably dragging Akechi’s nice coat all over a dirty alleyway. She tucks her face into her knees, where she feels safest, and pulls the coat flaps even tighter. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be.”

“I’m sorry for not being okay,” she mumbles.

There’s a short silence. “You really don’t have to be.”

“I do,” Futaba says. She feels like she’s nine years old again, a petulant kid who needs to hold people’s hands and be escorted around Tokyo. “This is—it’s stupid, and I can’t believe I-I’m still doing this, a-and even a-after everything that h-happened last year, I’m still just a… I’m still…”

“It’s fine,” says Akechi. Even he sounds overwhelmed, and at the first sound of weakness, she pulls the coat off her head and glares at him furiously, red-faced and covered in tears and snot and gross depression juice crust and all.

“I’m not supposed to be this way anymore!” she says miserably. “I’m supposed to be better! Moved on! Doing literally a-anything else but crying over t-taking a subway! It’s stupid and nobody else is like this and I just want to be over this already and I just want to be better already and—!“

She covers her face with her hands again. God, even when she says that, it sounds pathetic.

After a moment or two, she hears Akechi moving again. She peeks at him. He’s crouching in almost the exact same pose as her, looking like he’s resigning himself to neither getting his coat back, nor moving from this spot any time soon, nor getting to Yusuke’s art show on time, but also looking archly and entirely unperturbed about it. Actually, it looks like he’s writing a work email on his phone.

Futaba was right about being in an alleyway, but it’s so cold because they’re shielded by a trio of vending machines selling canned coffee and wrapped sandwiches. "Our dog was recently run over?” she says.

“People can mind their own damn business,” says Akechi in his Pleasant Boy Voice, without looking up from his email.

“He was just trying to help.”

“Oh, yes, let’s help the crying girl by crowding her and suffocating her in a crush of public transit.”

Futaba snorts. “That was really mean of you.”

“Oh, absolutely,” says Akechi.

Futaba sucks a truly disgusting gob of snot into her nose. “Ugh. I wish I could’ve seen the guy’s face when you told him that.”

“It was like I’d spat on his shoes. I should’ve kept going. Or had a camera.”

“Futaba giggles wetly into her forearms. "Like one of those—those prank videos online… Get Yusuke to film it.”

“Yusuke, as the cameraman? I’m not trying to make a documentary.” Akechi flips to a different screen on his phone. “I already texted Yusuke about our poor dead dog, by the way, so don’t worry about it.”

Suddenly Futaba feels like literal garbage again. “Why are you always so nice to me?” she mumbles.

Akechi makes a weird face, like he’s trying to do his old Pleasant Boy shtick while having swallowed a lemon whole. “You say that like me being nice is somehow unusual.”

“Uh, yeah. Because it is. You literally were just being a huge asshole to a guy you’d never met over a fictional dog.”

Akechi has this increasingly disgruntled look on his face like he kind of wants to punt Futaba down some stairs, which, frankly, is the best sort of reward, in Futaba’s opinion. “I’m working on it,” he says grumpily.

“How’s that been?” says Futaba.

“Which part?”

Futaba has one whole moment of self reflection on this idea as maybe not a good course of action before she barrels on anyway: “The part where you’re turning your life around. Starting over. Trying again.”

“It sucks dick,” says Akechi.

“Oh, right on,” says Futaba, and then before she can stop herself: “Wait, I thought you liked dick?”

Akechi makes a noise like a strangled cat.

Futaba cackles. “Dude, incognito mode when you’re browsing for porn does not save you from people like me.”

“Have you been spying on me?”

“Uh, yes? Obviously?”

“You know you could get arrested for that sort of breach in privacy.”

“Oh, boo hoo, so sorry I know all about your weird orphan-saving night job and your smutty Featherman doujinshi collection. You’re not gonna narc on me.” Futaba stops. “Are you?”

“Stop looking at my internet history.”

“No. You better not narc on me.”

“Then stop looking at my internet history.”

“You had to google how to change a SIM card last week, crow-boy; you couldn’t stop me if you tried.”

“I will narc on you.”

“No you won’t. You’re the one trying to not be an asshole.”

Akechi makes a face like a cat being slowly submerged in cold water. Futaba laughs in his face.

“If you’re quite done,” says Akechi grouchily.

“No, never. You’re made for being made fun of,” says Futaba. “I’m gonna be making fun of you for years and years, crow-boy; you’re never going to get rid of me.”

“Great.”

“Gonna be creeping on your weird orphan-saving night job until the day you die.”

“Wonderful,” says Akechi without inflection whatsoever.

“Mwehehehehehehehehehe.”

“If you’re quite done.”

“I will take a well-deserved break from my endless duty to troll you both on and offline,” says Futaba. “Because I really really really wanna go to the art show.”

Akechi has the nerve to look relieved that he no longer has to squat in a dirty alleyway listening to a high school freshman bully him. “Then let’s go.”

Futaba hugs her knees tight. “But I wanna keep your coat.”

“Aren’t you wearing your own coat?” says Akechi, trying to look like he isn’t shivering. “Aren’t you getting hot?”

“I’m keeping it.”

“It’s my coat.”

“I’m keeping it.”

“Fine, then. Keep it. It’s dry clean only.”

“Oh, ew. No, take it back, gross, gross,” and Futaba peels the snotty, tear-stained, dirty winter coat off and dumps it back in Akechi’s arms, who looks at it with the expression of someone long-suffering and without hope of escape.

“And,” says Futaba, “I wanna see it if you tell anyone else that our dog got run over.”

Akechi smirks. “You’ll have to film it, then.”

“Oh my god, like I wouldn’t.”

Futaba scrubs her face one last time. She still feels like she’s covered in a grimy layer of slime, but maybe she can wash her face at Kosei. When she gets there. Because she’s gonna get there.

“Uh, one more thing,” says Futaba.

“Not like you’ve bullied me into doing literally everything else you’ve wanted,” says Akechi.

“You can’t laugh at me.”

“Good thing I don’t have a sense of humor,” says Akechi, which horrifyingly confirms to Futaba that Akechi and Yusuke, of all people, really do share a sense of humor.

Futaba hesitates. “Please, um… please don’t tell Akira about this.”

“Why would I tell Akira?“

"Nice. Good answer.” She smooths her hair down, trying to make herself presentable, or just have something to do with her hands. “I… told him I was gonna be okay without him and all that, so… I don’t wanna let him down, you know?”

Slowly, almost shyly, Akechi smiles. “Oh, yes. I know.”

“Our secret. Secret-keepers.”

“Secret-keepers. Are you ready?”

Futaba takes another deep breath. Pushes herself up, brushes herself off, and sighs. “Absolutely not. This is gonna suck so much dick,” says Futaba. “Let’s go anyway.”

#mine #slams hands on table FUTAGO SIBLINGS #futaba's dubious mental health cw #Anonymous

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schaefferisqueen · 4 years

Text

Twisted Song Ranking

OK ITS FINALLY HERE I SORRYYYYYY. So this took forever cuz SCHOOL and I needed to watch Twisted again cuz I can’t buy the sound track. so. long time. ANYWAYS AJ and Kaley KILLED IT I love the soundtrack so much it so good..... but not my fave oops. so ya this show is amazing and my ranking is slightly controversial (as always) so sorry oops.

14. Orphaned at Thirty-three (Ok so I love Jeff but I don't like this song oops. it makes me uncomfy and Jeff is creepy but like that's his brand so I get it. but also rlly don't like oh well)

13. One Thousand and One Nights Reprise/Finale (ok so this is good its just way too short for me and I feel like it lasts .5 secs lmao)

12. Take Off Your Clothes (Ok so this is a good song and it doesn't make me uncomfy I just like more songs better and I don't rlly jam to this one like others)

11. Everything and More (ok I LOVE Rachel no hate I Stan her she's amazing but I think the songs in twisted were out of or at the edge of her range and she sounds kinda strained so it kinda hurts to listen sometime. but no hate I love her she's amazing and hilarious especially in twisted shut up she's amazing)

10. Happy Ending (ok I love this song its so good especially at homecoming its amazing and Jeff going crazy at the end is so relatable I cant. also.... this is end of first act,,..... there are only 5 songs in act 2???? lmao but ya amazing we Stan harmonies I love)

9. One Thousand and One Nights (ok this is great go OFF Dylan/Meredith u r too good for this world. their voices together so good and they have so many starkid characters that r a thing lmao but honestly so cute amazing vocals their love story is great we ship and Stan)

8. I Steal Everything (ok I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONGGGGG amazing intro to scumbag!Aladdin and his mentality. he also rlly fucking funny and the choreography kills meeee GO JAMES KINGGGG James Tolbert choreographed he DESERVES the recognition and Jeff is hilarious and Lauren as monkey is great too. also rip Robert lmao)

7. Sands of Time/Golden Rule (yayay so this song is great and so good and it SHOULD be the 1st act closer or smtg but its not so rip oh well. ANYWAYS we love when the ppl appreciate j’afar but go apeshit later and hate him its hilarious contrast. ALSO dancing duet Robert/Lauren PART 2 we love them sm the two dancers killing it. and Laurens a boy again lmao)

6. If I Believed (GO DYLANNNNNNNNNNN ok so I know I will prob get hate for putting this ‘so low’ cuz its normally in top 3 for most rankings but oh well. I love Dylan and this song breaks my heart BUT I LOVE OTHERS MORE IM SORRY OK anyways Dylan slays and hits THAT NOTE and kills it I cant I want the sound track purely for this song (and the top 5))

5. Power in Me (yessssss I know this song gets a lot of hate but I genuinely love it tis amazing and heartfelt and Dylan/Racheal duet is WHAT WE NEEDED the only thing better would be Dylan/jaime duet and I will advocate for that until the day I die FIGHT ME they need to sing together. ANYWAYS I love this song it so emotional and great closer for j’afar as djinn and ugh EMOTIONS so ya)

4. Golden Rule Evil Reprise (yesssssssssssss this songgggggggg GO JOE GO JOE KING OMG U KILLLLL ITTTTTT I cant this song is so good and way too short it should be so much longer but omg amazing. also. CHOREO EXCUZE ME GO OFF JAMESSSSS. sry I love this song I cant its so clever the lyrics I cant GO OFF KALEY its amazing we stannnnnn)

3. Dream a Little Harder (ok this song is hilarious and Alex and Robert GO OFFFF they kill it and fun fact Kaley/aj have said that the song would be completely diff if they weren't in the cast sooooo that just tells u how amazing they areeeeee. also the fuck you and the belle parody and Jaime as bell and Denise as the parrot is so funnyyyyyy and Jeff at that one part where everyone is saying that their mom died is amazing I loveeeeeeee we Stan this song so much and it was almost higher BUT just wait lmao)

2. No One Remembers Achmed (OK I KNOW SHUT UP IT SHOULD BE NUMBER ONE BUT ITS NOT SO DEAL I love achmed and the soldiers (especially #3) steal the show like H E F U C K E D A T I G E R is so good and Jim is amazing and Jim harmonizing w/ Lauren in the beginning is also amazing and this song just SLAPS so hard I love so muchhhhh the ensemble just goes off and so does Joe and its amazinggggg w eloveeeeeeeee)

1. Twisted (OK SO YES THIS IS FIRST IT IS MY FAVE DONT @ ME. I love twisted so much firstly cuz GO JAIME YES URSULA GO YESSSS and Nick as scar and Robert as Gaston and Lauren as maleficent and Alex as Captain Hook and DENISE HOLY SHIT DENISE UR SO FUNNY I CANT ALSO did u know that Jim was going to be hades but the costume was too complicated and too much so they couldn't im sad that would have been hilarious. AND LETS NOT FORGET DYLAN OMGGGGGG he's amazing and he kills it and again GO JAIME GO OFF QUEEEEENNNNN GO OFFFFF I LOVE UUUUUUUUUUUU also jaime has said multiple times that ursula was her fave starkid role ever and yes so accurate its so amazing and iconic like the voice the costume the body movement the SPLIT AT THE END YES SHE SPLITS WHEN SHE DROPS INFRONT OF J’AFAR GO OFFFFFFFF I LOVE HER HAND THIS SONG EEEEKKK)

OK so once again if u actually got thru all of that (especially the last one lol) u r my fave person and I love u sm u absolute queen. so ya again im sorry it took so long school sucks and so does senior yr and college essays and screw that shit. so... next is avpsy. imma have to watch other ranking vids to get the songs cuz there is no soundtrack that I can find and I DO NOT have the time nor energy to watch the whole thing so I sorry in advance. BUT I have already ranked HMB AND STARSHIP I just need to add commentary so after AVPSY it should go fasterish. oops ANYWAYS

luv u all

<3, alimay (lmao it autocorrected to alimony lol I cant that's hilarious)

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sleepymouses · 4 years

Text

tagged by @littlepetbee, thank uuuu <3 i spent way too long thinking about htis lol,

Rules: pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions, tag a bunch o ppls to do it too (if y’all want to, supes no pressure or anything!)

Natsume yuujinchou (a teenage orphan who sees spirits/monsters sets out to free the spirits who were bound in magical contract by his grandmother after he inherits a powerful book, aided primarily by a spirit who appears as an exasperated fat cat (who is just as fun as he sounds). Titular character is like my Fave boy in the whole world, he’s so kind and soft despite all the hardships he’s faced, the series has very gentle pacing/character development, and each episode is a carefully crafted lil story that have often moved me to tears, chuckles, or outright chinhands of fondness as u watch natsume slowly find a home in the world and amongst the humans &spirits around him. big focus on friendships, there’s like no romance with any of the main characters, lots of cool different creatures (most of whom arent all that scary once u get to know them), its just literally everything i could ever dream for in a show and it exists! <3)

Leverage (team of modern day robin hoods ruin rich peoples’ lives via delightfully crafted spy cons to give back to the regular folks the rich people hurt. Extremely good, strong found family vibes, and v cathartic)

Brooklyn 99 (follows diverse cast of character who make up a NY precinct. Hilarious, immensely wholesome & groundbreaking, & probs the most lighthearted crime show besides like psych tbh)

Blackspot/Zone Blanche (spoopy french/belgium crime series set in a small village way out in the mountains surrounded by misty, mysterious and murdery woods. eerie and atmospheric, but also like one of my fave characters (everyone calls him teddy bear) keeps a pet guinea pig at work, so it’s not entirely grim and bleak)

Longmire (a modern western crime drama centering around the titular sheriff and others in their small town wyoming county, well written and lot of chracter development revealed alongside some really good case mysteries bc i love trying to figure out whodunits apparently based on a book series well adored by dads btw)

who is your favorite character in 2? (leverage) ahhh,,, this is hard... Eliot maybe? like Hardison is baby ofc, but i relate to elliot a ton (i think if i was on a team i would want to be the hitter tbh?) and love the subversion of so many action hero tropes that he is, also endlessly amused by how very put upon he is despite all his rad/random skills

who is your least favorite character in 1? (natsume yuujinchou) oh seiji matoba for sure, he can go eat a mouldy tree stump. absolutely evil nasty dude

what is your favorite episode of 4? (blackspot) the end of the road. great opening, didnt end up too devastating unlike a lot of the cases, Hermann was gr8, cool twist i hadnt super expected in the plot which was neat.

what is your favorite season of 5? (longmire) probs 1, walter reeally started to piss me off being Such A Man in later seasons, also me being extremely anxious about Henry and his life choices later, that creepy stalker storyline starting up with Someone and when Someone else in the main cast got died really suddenly and upsettingly later on as well, also when a weird relationship started between some of the characters that i really aint feeling so. before all that happened was nice (also sorry if this is super vague, im trying to avoid spoilers)

who is your favorite couple in 3? (B99) Besides Jake/Amy and Holt/Kevin (bc oviously theyre gr8) uh.. i know it was a long time ago and didnt last very long, but i thought rosa and marcus were really sweet? it brought another layer out to her character, even when they broke up that helped rosa starting to show emotional vulnerability and all, even tho it ended it was still just, idk, i liked them.

who is your favorite couple in 2? (leverage) Does trio count, cos Parker/Eliot/Harding 4 life yo

what is your favorite episode of 1? (natsume yujinchou) i have sooo many faves ahhh!!! i dont think i could pick just one on pain of death, every episode is acrefully cosntructed gem all on its own and i have too many that i love and adore to pick jsut one :((

what is your favorite episode of 5? (longmire) Dog soldier!! ive rewatched that one a ton, so so many good bits, really satisfying resolution of the case despite the shitty system that was revealed, and i rmr getting chills by the end the first time i saw it.

what is your favorite season of 2? (leverage) i guess season 1? just, idk, everything being set up and watching all these grumpies/less grumpies who have no plans to stay together start working together as a baby team, and just the joy of seeing their first heist together with the first plot twist, just.. such a delight, but all seasons that ive seen so far were all excellent, it’s a stellar show

how long have you watched 1? (natsume yujinchou) oh idk exactly, like years and years man... defs the longest out of all on this list

how did you become interested in 3? (b99) i think it was just on netflix way back in season 1 and i started watching it, loved it and never stopped? i think that might have even been before it got rlly popular lol

who is your favorite actor in 4? (blackspot) i dont rlly know any of these french peeps? but teddybear’s one of my fave characters, so hopefully the person who plays him is also cool, in which case hubert delattre (if not, Suliane Brahim does a v good job as the lead)

which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5? (natsume yujinchou, leverage or longmire) um... real torn between natsume and leverage here, they’re both such lovely gems that do found family so, so well.. leverage is a team of modern robin hood-esque spies with brilliant writing and exciting heists and multiple delightful plot twists every episode and great character building and so much catharticism in ruining evil rich peoples lives.

but natsume’s title character is one of my very favorite characters ever, hes been through so much but he becomes the most kindest and thoughtful boy ever, and its so, so soft and gentle in its development of characters and their slow build of getting to know each other and becoming friends, and the interactions with the paranormal world are very rarely entirely malicious/scary, and there’s pretty well no romance, at least like no romance for plot/with the main characters anyways, and there’s lots of female characters who have important roles but arent sexualized/killed off for man feels/exist for romo (which sadly cannot be said about a lot of media, especially manga/anime tbh, even leverage does not win entirely on that front).. its defintiely my favorite anime ever (i dont watch loads, but literally no other one can ever come close to topping its perfection),

i guess tho, leverage is over, and natsume is still technically ongoing, so i guess for that then i have to go with natsume?

which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3? (natsume yuujinchou or b99) Natsume for sure, they’re so short its easy to power thru like half a season in an afternoon

if you could be anyone from 4, who would you be? (blackspot) i would probably want to be someone who didnt live in villefranche actually haha uh, it’s a pretty spoopity place.. even some of the characters i do like make some Bad decisions that are v bothersome. Dr. Leila barami seems to have a good head on her shoulders tho, so if i Must be a character here then let’s go with her

would a crossover between 3 and 4 work? (b99 or blackspot) oh god... the cheery upbeat department at the 99 meet up with a grim, misty tiny mountain forest village with bleak day to day life, solving crimes amidst small town paranoia and weird maybe cult-related conspiracies and honestbhly something/s paranormal and menacing going on in the woods?? i just... cant see any of the characters even interacting lol, im just picturing jake’s confused befuddled face when he hears something weird but like x 10000

pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple? (natsume yujinchou) hm... i mean, one of the things i love about Natsume is that there arent really any romo relationships tbh? at least not with any of the main characters in the main storyline (so far), just like the odd one-off of minor characters (and takashi’s adopted parents ofc, but that’s different). so, yeah, i cant really think of one (although i think the big fandom fave ship of takashi and his worst enemy is rlly.. nope, and i dont know what’s going on there? takashi and tanama however, that would make sense, tho it is not unlikely so i cant answer this question with them)

overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5? (b99 or longmire) b99! cos ya know my annoyances with some of the stuff happening later on in longmire lol, b99 just got better n better as it went along, and it’s still going :’)

which has the better theme music, 2 or 4? (leverage or blackspot) blackspot has a real good eerie atmospheric theme which is gr8 and i love it <3 (leverage’s tune is like, elevator music/cheesy jazzy spy tune, which does suit it tho lol)

and idk, anyone bored and stuck at home who wants to do this? no pressure if ur like nah but if u wanna go ahead.... @creepy-friend-of-darkness @anna-wa @rhinky-thingz @rexbasileus @aeolian-harp @warrenkoles @softbrobarnes @damnitttana @cluelesswolf @moondoggiestyle @blloodorangeisthenewblack @my-nail-beds-suck @frankiecolours @savvylikeyeahhh @lake-effectkidx @justhugharry @casualmisandry @j4ya @galaxygalpals @thesecondwarm @dealwright @knipperdollin @curlycombover @kaspbrakeddie (and if i didnt tag u and u still wanna do this, consider yeself tagged)

#littlepetbee #long post #littlepetlouis #thank u for tagging me in these <333 sorry im rarely here to do them but i appreciate em and try to keep track when im on #heather watches things #also this was a fun thing to think about bc urgh i am so tired of same old shit day in and out these days oof #natsume #k now im real emosh about natsume ahh #leverage #also come scream at me if u watch any of these ahh #longmire #askables #black spot #b99

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sasukebarmitzvah · 5 years

Text

watching every naruto opening and discussing my opinions because im bored liveblog

original

took me a little while to warm up to it idk why maybe because its not as up tempo and its a shonen and i want to get hype but i love it now. love the part where the camera pans around team 7 fighting randos they are babies… also its so funny when sasuke holds out his hand to naruto to help him out of the lake and he jsut fist bumps him. gay boy

Haruka fucking kanata baby!!!!!!!! a fav. like we all know this. i listen to the song just regularly a lot and every time it comes on shuffle im like Oh my god its haruka kanata. read the english translation of the lyrics… sns

this one got stuck in my head for a while lol. i like seeing everyone babie and i like naruto shaking his head at the end to dry off like a dog

DDMnanannaddnnaaaaa naaaaaaaaa nda aaWE ARE FIGHTING DEAMERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOLI OLI OLIOOOOoohh!!!!! very fun very good also a very good time in the show, hello tsunade

**edgy shonen opening where theres something important in front of a chain link fence**

lol skipping 6-9 bc thats the huge chunk of filler which i didnt actually watch most of

shippuden

heros come back is SO GOOD absolutely one of my favs. banger first of all. i love how its actually choreographed and naruto sakura kakashi are like moving to the beat and i love the part where the animation is like pencil sketchy and theyre running and their bodies warp bro its just cool. the part where everyone dramatically reaches for gaara is fun, also love deidaras moment. anyway i shake my ass to this song eveyrday

distance oh god oh fuck. YOU ARE MY FRIEND!!! the sasuke and naruto stuff where they are little baby at the beginning at the end we return to the same place theyre there and like about to stab each other i’m going to scream. i lvoe the song of course. hello sai! i love team 7s little spotlight moments where they get to pose to the music its so cute. why is sasuke snake jesus? DO you remember that long lost DREAM!!!!!!!!!!

BLUE BIRD YA BANGER ok the whole symbolism. when naruto falling next to sasuke rising is positioned like yin and yang lol. when naruto is falling from the sky but then sasuke comes to mind and he springs into action lol. ok random people from the fillers i dont care about. naruto fell in the lake he picks up the bird feather interspersed with a couple shots of sasuke horgh. additional reading: paper bag by fiona apple

closer is one of the ones where im like eh its ok its not my favorite and then it gets to the chorus and my dumb ass is jsut screaming YOU KNOW THE CLOSER YOU GET TO SMETHING THE TOUGHTER IT IS TO REACHIT. the funniest part where narutos moping and thinking of sasuke and then he just perks up and smiles at the camera like. gay boy. like getting to see the asuma fight scenes in this op, also it was so funny seeing him get all the screentime in this op knowing hes about to die like yeah very subtle

SHA LA LA!!!! LOVE IT i love it i love it soooo much first of all banger second of all naruto looking into the water and his reflection is sasuke. lollllll. metaphor m-e-t-a-p-h-o-r the little prechorus bit in the middle gives me chills. love sasuke walking into the purple pool like a smug motherfucker thats my boy. at the end zooming into sasukes pupil zoom out it’s narutos eye oh the poetry..

signs another one of the ones where im like eh whatever its fine but not my fav but by the chorus i am standing on the table freaking out. like fuck jiraiya but this one got me a lil. the lighting and choreography of the sasuke itachi fight bit is sooooo nice and pretty, love getting to see all the new players in the story. baby ame orphans fading to the shot of yahiko as pain.. :(

this one literally makes me cry. i get chills what the fuck. definitely one of my favs. am i a bitch? maybe. i like the song by itself but like the way the rise/general shape of the melody flows with the visuals its like oh god oh fuck. again fuck jiraiya but like the role his character serves as a link between these disparate groups of people and the way thats used in this opening… how it starts and ends with him writing and this is the arc where naruto reads tales of a gutsy ninja and he learns about how he got his name and jiraiya wrote the book and hes WRITING and im going CRAZY!! i’m starting to tear up watching it rn. the shot of konan and the pains in that moment just before they leap forward. Sayonaaaaaaara aa lksasldfkwpoeifjhnuerIELFeuiertekdjsnlfweiourbg kakashis moment is cool in this op. also love to see the girls getting fight scenes in this op cus they sure dont in the actual show LOL anyway yeah im at the part where the melodys just hitting sooo different oh my god naruto frog eyes

DIVERRRRRRR. FAV literally like naruto is drowning. hes drowning and everyone is pushing him up so he can breathe again everyone is fighting to save him and thnen he s ouf ot the water and then he sees sasuke drowning and he JUMPS BACK IN. FOR ONE PERSON EVEN THOUGH ALL THESE OTHER PEOLE were working to help him out he dives back in for SASUKE whos drowning in the eyehole of obitos mask which is cool. ok yeah this is another one where im like tearing up because THe cymbal is em….. the way The movement of the visuals is choreographed with the song is so much. nico TOUCHED the fucking walls.

this one kinda annoys me i dont know why it just wasnt my favorite. love the sasuke and naruto staring at each other intensely moment though, would this be a shippuden opening without that. also the part at the end where sakura holds up her kunai and it like slashes and covers sasuke and naruto… inch resting…

newsongs so weird i love it. like what the hell is going on. why is naruto running like hes from some weird gmod video from 2013. love the LITERAL choreography, everyone dancing to the song like this is a musical. theres just a lot of weird moments which is fun. love sai naruto and sakura making the seal together to shoot lightning. raikage leaping gracefully across the beach

i do not enjoy this one. i just dont. it just feels like we’re bootlicking which of course we are because this is the war arc and everything is a nightmare

i remember seeing the first episode with this opening and i was excited bc its like… great another naruto pining for sasuke one this is what im here for. a light banger. minato manlet monday. ohh right this was the one where gaara sees his dad again and his OH I SEE SASUKEE

Banger! nico did indeed touch the walls again. i like that this one is like visually thematically consistent thru the whole thing, i like the nighttime dimly lit atmosphere with the bursts of brighter colorful lighting, also whenever i see tsunade i freak out. narutos cute at the end

SUCH A BANGER!!! also very cool visual style, appreciate it for that like the last one, its got that pretty consistent aesthetic with the red sky and the high contrast black blocking its fun and cool to watch. did i mention the song is a bit of a banger. obito passing thru the rock is cool too bad hes an idiot

ok from this one there were two lines i remember always seeing in the english sub that made me freak out. and one of them was like “this red hot love burning my heart” and it was over kakashi and obito fighting like damn OK. also the “i put the candle out with my finger” thing sticks in my head idk why. hate that we have the narutos big meaty claws i mean manly hands moment though. omg its hashirama and madara and then it CUTS TO SASUKE AND NARUTO IN THE SAME POSE LOL OK…

SILHOUETTE IS a banger… not as much so as some of the others but its a lot of fun. very colorful op, we got some naruto pining for sasuke, classic. also love the thing where ppl are running and they age as they do and they sort of grow into their present selves, a fun visual bit. the end where narutos like obito be nice now look at all these people behind me who think youre a meanie please be nice :(((((((((

another one with a really good visual principle ugh i love how the style of the show is integrated w the styles of more traditional printmaking its very swexy and nice to look at

LINE uugrgh i love this one, maybe a fav… naruto chasing after the light and sasuke trying so hard to snuff it out as they both reflect on their memories of each other oh god oh fuck… also i love the bits where it just has all the characters in a row like it reminds me of that one post about how in the endgame trailer they had a shot of all the female characters together to be like Girl power!! and someone was like yeah thats them showing u exactly how many women theyre going to disrespect LMAO but yeah i do love this op. also the song itself being slower w/ the triplet tempo is a nice change of pace

blood circulator hee hee… the version of this with naruto and sasuke moments is A Lot but even just the generic first version is fun. the part where narutos like knocked on his face hes sinking into the tar and hes not even trying to save himself hes just staring at sasuke, but then he sees sasuke distressed and he goes bijuu mode immediately like What did u say about my mans? there is some homoeroticism

i really hate everything about this i hate it all. sasuke is cute. thats it. ok first of all why did choji cut his hair his long hair look was so gooooooood. hinata bimboification? i mean if anything it was fun to watch these fillers just cus it was fun to watch kakashi be the hokage but really goofy and also the Crumbs tossed to the kakairus… but yeah i hate everything temari got bimbofied too like ugh please let her be a dyke :( this isnt even me talking necessarily about the opening this is me just being like i hate the naruto ending. LOL SASUKE AND NARUTOS NO HOMO BRO HIGH FIVE AT THE END LOLLLLL

ok im done

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yvngbin · 5 years

Text

hello i’m arriving to the party an entire day late and this is Not Surprising at All to anybody who knows me slightly well because i’m late to everything. said late writer is ya boy , felix ! i’m 20, i use he / him pronouns, annnd you don’t wanna know about me, you want to know about actual Nerd incarnate , yongbin .

his stats are here , bio is being rewritten because my dumbass deleted it from my drive , and all i have left to say is that you can like this if you want me to message you on here or discord to plot instead, since i’m usually faster on there … usually …

note: talks of surgery / birth defects, & kinda nsfw

⦑ felix. / 20. / gmt. / he/him. ⦒ woah ! tell me i did not just see cho yong bin walk past us, they’re the child of the cho family right ? they’re twenty three now, so i wonder if they’re here training to become an anarchist hacker. i heard they’re really intuitive & vexatious, so i’d say stay away from them unless you really wanna try your luck. no wonder they’re so notorious though, with the face of byun baekhyun i’d be interested in them as well. anyway, back to what i was saying. - yongbin, pain in the ass, and his most common sobriquet, zero ( name’s inspired by binary code btw ) , was a self taught anarchist hacker , but he sure as hell hasn’t been doing it for free all this time. he’s immensely adept and writes concise code and thoroughly enjoys annoying people and wreaking havoc in that precise order.

- hacker is kind of a blanket term, bin’s speciality was in blackmail, identity theft, exploiting vulnerabilities in various networks and systems, and causing all sorts of chaos online. when he was younger and before he was intimately familiar with the academy, he offered out his services to online rebel groups ( both good and bad ) and wasn’t officially apart of any system or group.

- this was subject to change a few years later when he was caught out on a slight mistake tracing back to his ip, assessed by an official representative of the school, who was impressed by his abilities and offered him an ultimatum: to join the academy or go to a detention camp.

- behind the screen bin was born with a pretty serious congenital heart defect. he needed surgery to survive, if only temporarily. every ten years or so, he’d have to do the same, with more or less no guarantee that they would all be successful. ( i would like to think that when he joined the academy some sort of technology maestro has helped him w / his respiratory issues so lmk if there’s a potential plot link there )

- bin is also an orphan who went through a very jaded system . he never knew his parents and frankly doesn’t care to know them, but little does he know that they have been tracing him from birth and were the sole reason why he got his place in the first place, ultimately unable to take care of him when their careers, both arms dealers, were too dangerous for a kid. his craft and experiences with life has made him instinctively cynical about his parents’ generation so like.. trusting an institution full of teachers their age was not and would never have been an ‘ideal’ for him.

- his part time job used to be at a pc repair shop and he liked working there a lot, most people would question why he’d ultimately then go on to ruin a life he was happy with just to constantly risk getting into trouble. yongbin’s answer ? Because he’s Chaotic Neutral Thats Why

- socially, surprisingly unlike how most hackers are portrayed as nerds w sellotape on their glasses n a pocket protector ( he has a pocket protector but thats besides the point ) zero is outgoing in school and onwards, liked seeing what other people were interested in, pushing boundaries and keeping up with his friends just by listening and absorbing information.

- he isn’t exactly well liked, because his brain to mouth filter malfunctioned a lot of times which caused friction, But he definitely knows how to make and maintain friendships if you can handle him vanishing off the face of the earth and replying to your text from two weeks ago at 4 am like wyd

PERSONALITY

- zero’s life has mostly been not very fun, and he definitely realises this, but he’s not really the type to sit around and cry about it. mostly, he tries to take it with a stiff upper lip and a good sense of humour. he’s snarky and dry and enjoys getting into cyber-wars with other comp nerds in his limited friendship group. he definitely also enjoys sending lil viruses to other ppl in hearst just to let you know just how much your firewall sucks

- he’s got a real bad habit of getting wayyy in over his head with things. he’s like, a lil bit of a troublemaker — a back-talking, muttering under his breath, sneaking into places he shouldn’t, kind of troublemaker, but nothing too offensive. however, he sometimes gets into Actual Trouble because he makes the world’s worst choices and follows the world’s worst people’s advice. his personal motto is, “oh fuck. why?”

- he can be affectionate and immensely appreciative of anyone who’s genuinely kind toward him, even if his pride won’t let him come right out and say so. he’s p creative and resourceful — definitely can think you out of a pinch, even if he’s not so great at solving his own shit.

- friend wise, he’s attentive and thoughtful; sharp as a tack, funny as anything, and would totally rather help you out with your problems than get into deep discussions about his because opening that big ol book of issues is not gonna be fun for Anybody - romantically he’s inwardly pansexual for a long while but to people around him that probably.. wouldn’t be that big of a surprise. don’t talk to him about real love though he really is a computer machine with 0 emotions in that realm

tinie headcanon list because ive been slowly gathering them in my head for Days

- has a handful of piercings on his ears , but the one he’s known for most is his labret piercing

- has a chameleon called cookie and donates to a dog shelter wherein his favourite stray dog ( known as flash ) lives. and yes he’s naming them after computer terms. no he wont Reconsider

- proud owner of 1 terabyte of hentai stored on his external hard drive that he’d gladly d*e for n is not ashamed of it in the slightest this zone is kink shame free !!!!

- loves to go exploring around the grimier parts of the academy and places you rlly wouldn’t expect him to be to clear his mind. abandoned classrooms, warehouses, etc.

- talk to him about conspiracy theories about alien life forms for a friend

- has absolutely awful hand eye co-ordination despite it playing in to a big part of their training so just know he’s probably dying first, or just teach him to throw a punch and not somehow hurt himself ? Blease

- sticks his tongue out while he’s hacking or doing anything that requires concentration. can’t multi-task and will ignore everything in his general surroundings to give 110 percent to whatever he’s doing.

- is a scorpio so sorry u cant trust anything he says i dont make the rules the astrological gods do

that’s all i’ve got up to now and i hope this gives you a bit of background into what he’s about. i think i’ll finish here before i write more trash so [ hacker voice ] im out

#hearst.intro #now to completely revamp my theme bc its ugly #this is also embarrassingly long #hnyways #we in this bitch.. finna get crunk !

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lvtvr · 7 years

Note

I... kinda wanna hear the klahnce tropes you hate...

ok since i can never resist a chance to Vent i’m gonna share them under a cut but first some disclaimers

1) honestly oh my god if somebody else likes or enjoys this stuff i dont care!!!! i really do not care!!!! as long as you aren’t shoving it in my face or claiming that any alternative interpretations are Wrong™, i really really do not mind!!!! people like different things and that’s okay!!!!!! my intention truly isn’t to make some 15 year old w a fluffy fantasy feel guilty just bc some random person on the internet doesnt like the way they do things kdsjgsjdgskjdg so pls read this w a grain of salt

2) i’m not even really that passionate in my dislike of these things bc it’s just shipping and it literally doesn’t matter at all so this is basically just a list of my preferences

phew ok here we go

the kind of k/l made by lovers of l@ngst that makes the whole story about lance, and him just needing to be reassured of how incredible he is

this almost always has keith tenderly holding lance and saying something along the lines of “you are the most beautiful boy in the universe and i will never let you go :) i love you so much lance :) to me, you are each and every star in the sky :)”

KEITH WOULD NEVER SAY THAT WHAT THEUF CK

this bothers me bc the dynamic they are portraying is closer to h@nce, sh@nce, or even she!th. both hunk and shiro are kind and loving people who are quick to verbally reassure their friends. but keith, the way i read him, prefers action to speech. he has other ways of expressing how deeply he feels about someone without waxing poetic

please don’t make discount h@nce, make actual h@nce instead i beg of u

also ppl editing the “br0gan3s hug” replacing shiro with lance and now suddenly it’s romantic and not familial lmao… just admit that u love the beauty of s/k and its passionate star-crossed lovers bound by fate angle and stop projecting it onto k/l which is a different beast entirely

“keith and lance have been in love with one another all along/are in love with one another at this current point in canon”

ok while i do admit i can appreciate some cute pining-at-the-garrison fanart, this one bugs me bc if we just look at canon……… they don’t like each other. they just. they don’t.

there’s definitely an admiration-jealousy thing going on from lance’s side, but not an outright crush

and lets be real while i understand the appeal of a headcanon where keith has crushed on lance since forever………………….. in canon, he literally had no idea who he was

i dislike this bc to me it sounds far too much like a love at first sight kind of thing, where they had crushes on each other without even really knowing one another

the appeal of k/l for me is the potential for growth they have AFTER they’ve spent months in space working as a team and getting to know who the other person really is, beyond first impressions

two people who are incompatible at first, developing and maturing until they can see new sides to each other, learn to work with one another, and choose to put their differences aside so that they can be together? that’s much more romantic, at least to me.

the “keith and lance are in love and shiro and keith are brothers and also shiro is dating allura :)” clusterfuck that mostly died after the vague statement about allura’s age that gave antis a collective bout of hives

im not saying there are no good fics with this constellation but there are 392580968230698409683478 fics that copypasted this relationship matrix. it is a fanon thing but ppl started treating it like canon which always gets me a little squinty. also i’m not all that into s/a so there’s that

keith and lance getting married. this is entirely a personal thing but it’s my biggest fucking squick and i have an irrational hatred for it it just fucking bothers me so much NEVER talk to me about it

this includes kidfic it makes me feel almost ill

marriage/domesticity/kids is the opposite of a romantic fantasy for me and thinking about it makes me really uncomfortable

while im more ok with it with some other pairings, i just cant see it happening w keith and lance

this is also where i see them start to clash, with lance’s big family and probable love of tradition and keith’s orphan-loner lifestyle. they’d probably want very different things

and it’s really stressful for me to think about so i’d rather just not lol

basically just fucking miss me with them wearing rings or anything like that unless u want me to let out bloodcurdling screams for 8 consecutive hours

anything making them too soft, squishy and blushy. while i totally get why people want to look at this kind of content it makes me want to die

this is usually paired with “everyone else exists just to support their relationship”

i’ve also seen their rivalry reduced to “yeah but i love you more asswipe” “no i love YOU more” “umm excuse you i clearly love you the most :/” like… lmao pls stop this they’d still argue about exactly the same things as before

while they’d definitely tell each other i love you and be soft with each other, it’d be in quiet, private moments. ultimately, they aren’t a gross sappy couple… they just aren’t…… they’re those friends who argue a lot about inconsequential things but also kiss each other when they’re alone and would die for each other without hesitation but will Never admit it

okay phew i think those are my Top Shitty K/L Tropes, and from what i’ve heard there are a lot more like them being shoved into ridiculous yaoi archetypes (eg keith is a blushing flower of a sub instead of the vers power bottom we all know he Actually is) but since i read very little fic i’ve managed to avoid that stuff. sorry this turned into an essay lol this always happens

#ask #long post #wank //#i really don't know what to tag this bc i don't want anyone to come across it and feel uncomf #ship negativity #??#ask me to tag #and i will!!#also your mileage may vary as always #it's not like my opinions are correct #they are just opinions #and like i said i dont actually care that much its not that deep #but dont fucking show me any content of them getting married #just dont #merrimyuu

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lacnunga · 7 years

Text

due to the recent attention quincey and my strange love child has gotten, i’ve decided to do a post of my ‘character building’ aka ‘me just aimlessly rambling at Q in tumblr chat and getting overly invested in our hopeless little loser’. enjoy (or dont idk idc)

Naruto oc Gear

· platonic bff w/ kankuro

· i feel like they deserve a mullet. they're completely oblivious to why other people Hate it. they think it's cool.

· "it feels swishy kank. kank. feels like Wind Country style. kank why are you laughing?"

· nobody understands why someone 'cool' like kankuro hangs around with this dork

· its like kakashi and gai. kankuro just shrugs - "dude is a good listener. and they write valentines cards to karasu. they're a weirdo and i love them so back tf off'

· gear:: nyah

· kank: what?

· gear, staring at him through their souless glasses: you know, nyah *makes kitty motions*

· *gear proceeds to be drop kicked all the way to fire country border*

· also, nobody know whether gear is male or female or...other?? except their doctor, who enjoys keeping it a secret from a frustrated kankuro.

· gear has promised him a years worth of buying hi hamburger steaks if he manages to find it out, so kank has some incentive

· its been nearly ten years...no luck

· temari doesnt understand the friendship, but its not the weirdest thing her fam is involved in so

· gear is v scared of gaara though, especially when gaara, in a bid to 'understand his family better' tries to get to know him. gear tries to avoid gaara, but he's. always. there.

· kank in the end tells gear to Just Talk to Gaara, there's like a 50% chance he won't kill them (if only for kank's sake)

· wind forwards to a v awkward interrogation session where gear tries to explain the appeal of fireworks and the concept of second hand embarassment

· no wait

· i just had a brilliant idea

· gear is the pioneer of light up ninja sandals

· are they practical? no way

· are they weirdly satisfying? hell yeah

· (when too many shinobi got caught in the field bc their sandals lit up, by decree of the kazekage they can only be worn in the village

· and preferably never, according to Temari)

· also gear is a big fan of shino. why? (because I love shino) but Actually because kankuro is still bitter about losing to him

· so when gear meets shino they make it their mission to become Great Friends, aka the Hoopiest of Froods

· Rub In That Salt. Can You Taste It Kank? All That Salt.

· their name is now Gear, or in the japanese version, Giya ギヤ (aka just Gear in katakana - hell, if it works for Lee.) fter visiting konoha kank is sulking bc gear went on and on about how shino was a Cool Guy and had Flair and a certain je ne sais quois ( doesnt know what that means, but it sounds adoring and he Hates it. Gear is his friend, not Shinos)

· Especially when he remembers that Shino kicked his asssss

· eventually gear gets ticked off and commisions a cake with big writing on it 'STOP SULKING, KITTY'. kank is weirdly frustrated that gear has remembered his favourite flavour cake

· gear makes him sarcastic friendship bracelets

· though gear and shino bond over the fact that nobody knows what their faces/eyes look like. its sort of like an Achievement Unlocked.

· Gear is then integrated into the Aburame family as a honors member

· Gets home made pies when ever they visit

· Kankuro is jelly as usual but does not argue over the pie

· when shino demonstrates his kikaichuu technique, gear waves their arms around making obnoxious buzzing noises. shino sniggers.

· hell most things can be forgiven for pie

· gear actually becomes very good at mimicking the kikaichuu noises so when they go back to suna gear makes the noises when kankuro is least expecting it. the suprised punches to the nose are so worth it.

· I can just see kankuro just spazzing out before just decking this nerd in the face!

· Ok but Kin adopts them and loves them but just...just hates their fashion sense more then anything in the world

· she just eyes their mullet with a twitching brow. gear is holding onto their visor with all their might and watching out for any kunai that might come close to his fabulous mane.

· lets face it, if shino and gear had a bit of a 'snip snip' training accident, kin wouldn't be disappointed

· and of course if gear becomes friends with shino, they gotta get along w/ team eight as well. kiba is eyeing their hair with a strange mixture of envy and incredulity. hinata draws gear up some new face-masks. they love them, even the pink floral ones.

· hinata, handing over the masks: d-do you like them?

· gear, choked up and holding back sobs: they're fine

· Gear has a habit of coming to Kank in the middle of the night with the weirdest shit. They knock on his door at three in the morning looking like they're about to cry.

· G: Kank I've done something awful I'm a murderer

· Kank is basically ready to help bury a body

· K:okay okay don't panic what did you do?

· G: *whispering* I eat eight spiders a year kank. EIGHT SPIDERS. HOW MANY SPIDER ORPHANS HAVE I LEFT TO GRIEVING SPIDER WIDOWS KANK. I'm a MONSTER.

· K:...go home.

· K: Spends the night googling 'is it true you swallow eight spiders a year?')

· i have the idea that gear was a really plain child. you know the kind that never really got noticed and people just realised they were there when they tripped over them.

· and they finally got sick of it when they graduated the academy like

· 'well now im just going to be so Extra you wont have a choice but to notice me fuck you'

· now thats not to say they realise the mullet is a bad idea, however it does have the extra incentive of people going 'oh hi- DEAR LORD WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR HEAD'

· plot twist, they look so completely ordinary under the glasses and mask that even the people who saw their face don't remember it the second they look away

· surprisingly gear makes an excellent undercover operative

· Just take off the mask and goggles and visor, fashion their hair a lil, and put on a plain kimmon and BAM Gear is an under cover cop

· exactly. kankuro is really weirded out by the idea that any of the sort of twenty yo people he passes on the street could be gear

· Kankuro was terrified of gaara but boy o boy does Gear just raise the steaks a lil

· They could be anywhere

· Behind that bush, near the bush, IS THE BUSH

· one time gear was on a mission with their team and they got separated. in the fight, gear lost his mask, broke his glasses and his visor got tossed. when they returned to their team they had to spend the whole journey back convincing them that 'YES this is me i swear see? im wearing the same underwear!' 'how would we know what underwear you started out wearing?' 'I THOUGHT WE HAD A BOND'

· they meet kankuro on the way into town and gear is just like 'here, kank is my buddy, he'll tell you im me'

· 'well kankuro-sama, is this Gear?'

· K:...im gonna be honest i cant fucking tell

· K:but are they wearing blue boxers with ducks on them?

· Squad captain: WHY DO YOU-???

· Kankuro: THINGS HAPPENED OK THEYRE WEIRD AND JUST- DO THEY OR DONT THEY?

· Gear: *shit eating grin*

· Temari actually thought those two were together for a long time and they both just missed her euphemistic references to their ahem 'friendship' until Gaara mentions they couldn't put romantic partners on a team together and Kank just

· ucking falls off his chair like

· K: Wait what? Since when have we been romantic partners?? News to me??

· When he talks to Gear about it they seem unfazed just straightfaced tell Kankiro that 'you make my kokoro go doki doki'. Kank doesn't speak to them for a week

· Aka Gear is once again relegated to the sofa

· Gear seems to say 'so worth it' a lot

· Most of the time it really isnt

· Gears surprisingly good a dancing, specifically the fancy pants type dancing.

· So bc Kank is the kazekage's brother he's invited to a fancy do somewhere and he brings along Gear as his +1 bc hes a loser w/o a bf/gf. before the do he's just pointedly asking Gear like 'look do i need to teach you how to dance? because there will be dancing. fancy dancing. it will be Expected of You. do you want a dance tutor. are you sure? Are You SURE?'

· Gear is just waving him off 'Relax kitty, its cool' Kank is just mentally preparing apology speeches for Very Important Peoples' crushed toes

· the night comes along and Kank is making awkward small talk with some girl who roped him in when suddenly he's yanked away from the convo by Gear

· before he knows it they're on the dancefloor and SURPRISE gear is waaaay better at dancing than kank's stiff penguin shuffle

· gear takes great pleasure in dipping him really low at the end

· and they never let kank forget about it

· so i dont know if kankuro went to the ninja academy but lets assume he does

· *did

· so he and gear are in the same class

· but gear is of course always forgotten

· until one day kankuro notices them because IDK he runs into them and knocks them over or something

· so somehow they hang out that day and kank realises 'yeah this kid is a good one i could hang out with this dude like forever. mine now.'

· and the next day kank tries to find Gear except

· the fucker is so Unnoticable

· kank is just standing in the middle of the room scratching his head trying to figure out who the fuck he was talking to yesterday. gear of course doesnt have their sparkling personality yet and so is too shy/embaressed to go up to kank and remind him that 'hey this is what my face looks like'

· eventually they do hang out again though

· and the same thing happens

· kank gets fed up and brings in his face makeup and like draws reminders on gears face

· gear is fine with it, just wandering around all day with purple paint on their face

· except ppl keep making fun of them so kank wears the paint as well as like a solidarity thing

· of course gear finds his own look at the end of their academy days but kank carries on wearing the paint from then on(also gear used to be the kind of person who cried really easily and the paint showed it ALL up. they weren't too keen on walking around with tear tracks and smudges on their face, so mullet it is lol)

· sad idea

· gear is kankuro's first and best friend

· sure, kankuro has other friends, but no real Friends outside of his fam later on, bc when he was smaller every interaction with other kids was coloured by him being related to the Sand Demon

· kids didn't want to be friends with him bc they were scared for their lives (and kank threw himself into his puppet making for something to do bc puppets werent to emotionally fickle as kids)

· so he latched onto gear and they became integral parts of their lives without even realising it

· one day, gear leaves on a mission. they dont come back. they're declared MIA

· it varies between villages but generally its one-two months before a MIA ninja is declared KIA

· kank isnt worried about gear. gear is a tough dude, they'll come back.

· a week passes and kank isnt worried

· two weeks passes, and he's getting twitchy, spending more and more time hunched up in his studio, tinkering with his puppets

· three weeks passes without a sign from gear, and he's wrecked seven puppet prototypes in senseless death battles and he doesnt want to think about why he's become so snappy and easily frustrated

· (temari pops in on him every so often, forcing sandwiches and energy drinks on him even as he ignores her, whittling down a wooden ball joint with singular concentration)

· the fourth week draws to a close and kank is visiting the mission room every day, lingering inside the doorway, scaring returning genin teams with his impatient aura. he's making trips around the hospitals in case they had an unidentified body turned in (he knows gear by their scars even if their face just wont stick)

· saturday rolls around and kankuro is dragging himself down to the morgues, the crematoriums, clamping down on the threatening waves of despair - he asks by name, by description, by the rate of decay on any bodies returned by scavenging teams sent out across the sandy oceans

· there is no sign of gear, not a peep as the fourth week draws to a close, the deadline for Suna mia operatives

· he goes to the records office to bear witness as they change the status on gear's paperwork, and he feels hollow, like karasu as the red ink is drawn through the status box

· he returns to his house, silent. temari is there, waiting, with a worried furrow between her brows (he thinks he even saw gaara, who was so changed since the chuunin exams, peer at him through his bedroom doorway opened just a crack, that emerald stare assessing, before retreating again)

· he closes the door to his workshop with a calm firmness, blocking out temari's questions

· kankuro stares at his puppets, propped up on various stands and in the corners, half assembled carapaces that seemed to mock him with their glassy stares

· he snaps

· kankuro thinks this is what gaara must have felt like, pulled under by the whirlwind of emotions as he rampages, trashing models and ripping up drawings and smashing incomplete headless, armless bodies. it feels like there isn't enough destruction to match the hole gear's death has left in his own chest and he only stops when his fist pulls its punch instinctively, barely an inch to karasu's face, those lovingly sanded planes and features carved with years of practice and patience

· now karasu is left, his friend before, during, after Gear, and he never thought there would be an 'after Gear' - gear was only a chuunin, they didn't leave the village on any dangerous missions, not like the sand siblings

· kankuro doesnt leave his workshop for three days

· on the third he comes out, with karasu and gathers his supplies. he leaves for the funeral, to send off his friend

· when they had visited konoha, he's seen their Memorial to the dead - a great stone slab, with their names carved into it, the oldest names almost worn away with time and touch. suna doesnt have a memorial - the souls of their shinobi are memorialised at the Oasis

· the spirit oasis lies a few hours run outside of the city of suna, towards the east - once, or so the tales go, the oasis was part of a giant aquaduct that fed the blooming gardens of a wealthy empress, a long time before the establishment of the hidden villages. now, the oasis is a forest of crumbled stone and faceless statues, a giant pair of stone legs, broken at the knee marking the entrance. past there runs a river, mysterious in its crystal clarity - many suna scientists have tried to find the rivers origins and where it disappears to, but it remains one of the sand's greatest mysteries

· it became known as the spirit oasis by the first kazekage, who saw the electric blue lights bob and weave above the rushing waters at night - he took it as a sign, and saw, from the top of the tallest ruin, the great crater that he would build his village in.

· it is to the oasis that the suna shinobi go to remember their dead, and to let them go. it is where kankuro went. it is where he ended up kneeling beside the gently gurgling river, amongst the offerings of food and sake left behind from the visits of other shinobi. bells tinkle melodious in the soft winds, accompanied by the flutter of the shimenawa papers. he looked into the water, so clear he could see the mosaic tiles on the bottom of the aqua duct, and tried to imagine the corpse of his friend, buried somewhere under the grains of sand, lost, decaying until only his bones are left, to be collected one day many generations down, or simply to be forgotten until the gods reclaimed their peoples. kankuro imagines gear's spirit, their soul, instead, bobbing along in this river, laughing and dancing in the night, blue, bright, electric

· "I- Geez, I can't believe you're making me say this, you idiot. I guess, I miss you. It hardly feels like you're gone. It's been, huh, i don't know how long. For me, weeks, since you've died, but I guess it only really hit me some days ago. You- urgh, you really always need to have the last word, don't you, G-"

· Kankuro froze as the wind moaned. It was the wind, right? He knew the reports from the shinobi who had visited this place - odd sounds like groans and moans of the deceased spirits, and the embittered jounin who simply waved the tales off as the sounds the wind makes as it howls through the archways and pillars of the ruins.

· he strains his ear for any other sounds and- there, again. It doesn't sound like the wind, he decides. it sounds like a person, a flesh and blood person. he rises to his feet, slowly pulling a kunai silently out of his pouch. he's ready for an attack as he makes his way through the labyrinth of ruins, following the sounds of grunts and pants of pain. he turns a corner and finds his quarry.

· a fellow suna shinobi, judging by the tattered dull flak vest. brown hair matted to the head with crusted blood, the shinobi is slumped over a large piece of the ceiling that had fallen down centuries ago. as kankuro approaches, the shinobi gestured weakly with their own kunai, dripping blood onto the weeded tiles.

· "who..." the shinobi rasps out

· kankuro doesnt have to hear any more than that word - he recognises the voice, knows it because it's been cycling around his head with endless quips and puns and sarcastic riddles over the past few days. it was a voice he didnt think he'd ever hear again, and now that he has-

· he dropped his kunai with a metallic clutter and swiftly crouched in front of the shinobi, casually brushing away the brandished knife that couldn't have speared a paralysed mouse. slowly, his hands grasped the drooped chin and he straightened the slumped head, so he could look the shinobi in the eyes.

· they were brown and bruised around the edges. they stared back at kankuro for a moment, almost dead, before a spark of recognition lit up in them, and they crinkled up. the blood-tinted mouth stretched up too, showing a set of battered teeth. one hand come up to tug at kankuro's hair.

· "...hey kitty. was the service...good?"

· kankuro laughs and leans forwards, so his forhead touches the other.

· "you're- you're a fucking idiot. you asshole-"

· Gear just grins.

· ………..

· also i had an idea about gear's family

· since they're hoity toity ima imagine they're an Old Clan

· they were maybe friends of the first kazekage, and howsabout they built the water delivery system for the village

· sooo even though they're not really relevant anymore (especially with the rise of more modern technology etc) they're still trying to regain that 'friendship'/allience whatever they had with the first kazekage

· they consider themselves one of the village founders bc of their water systems but they're Not Really. basically the family is pretty stuck up and gear's parents are pretty peeved that Gear doesnt care more about his family history/doesnt conduct themselves with dignity

· Gears parents are snooty plumbers

· family name = 水瓶座/mizugameza

· aka Aquarius/water bearer

· not their original name but they rebranded themselves all fancy like after doing the village plumbing lol

· gear is actually kind of embarassed about their family's attitude which is well known (and sometimes mocked) around the village

· they prefer to just be known as Gear minus family name hence Kankuro didn't actually know which family Gear was a part of until quite a bit into their friendship

· Gear ur a beautiful child I'm glad u were made

· gear deserves all the happiness

· the only reason im glad they're not canon is so they're spared the boruto ending

#theres like a little angsty ficlet in the middle but mostly its gear being a Total Adorable Loser #naruto oc #gear mizugameza

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papers4me · 3 years

Text

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 8 (part 1)

“ I hate myself, so much, so intensely, so completely, I wish I just go away, disappear for good, & yet in the end, I always protect myself, instead of taking responsibility, I run away every damn time, like now, I’m too scared to even look at your face”. The real kyo under the layers of trauma.

This quotation is why this ep is not abt romance. Instead it is abt: Extreme self-loath, faulty coping mechanism, self-awareness & inability to make correct decisions due to suicidal thoughts & non-existent self-worth.

This is a guy who’s literally seen death TWICE at the age of 4 & 15 (his mom & kyoko), is trying to avoid the THIRD (tohru’s) & is questioning why the FOURTH isnt happening (his own death).

-The layers of a broken self: Excellent writing:

I applaud the writer for choosing fitting methods to portray her characters’ own trauma. Yuki “ prince” mask & tohru’s “i’m okay” mask were fitting to hide their trauma & uncover the real personalities. However, since kyo would be the character to hide secrets & carry guilt, the viewers need to feel he’s hiding sth w/o knowing what it is. It was done cleverly to (a) tie the plot together, (b) build kyo’s character, (c) fit the climax, (d) suit his trauma of severe guilt & self-loath. Some of the things he does can fit two genuine layers: Both layers are true:

His initial refusal to open up to tohru in early se01. (Surface layer): he doesn't know how to interact with ppl who accept him as he confessed to shigure, (Deeper layer): he avoided tohru cuz he knew her!

He initially refused to join leisure activities & trips: hot spring & kyoto trip (Surface layer): he didn’t want to go with yuki (Deeper layer) he didnt want to spend time with tohru as he was unconsciously feeling that he’s stealing from her.

It killed him to see her true lonely self behind her fake mask & approached her with advice. se1, ep5 (grandpa house), se1, ep23 (sick tohru), se2, ep 8 (hiro’s remarks) & other instances. (Surface layer): he was noticing her issues, & genuinely wanted to help her cuz he’s kind (Deeper layer) he was falling in love w/her & unconsciously wanted her to be happy with HIM.

There were times when there was ONE layer, such as: kyoko’s 1st grave visit. He was so off, rigid, unresponsive, & completely shut down. Everybody read him. Yuki, tohru, Arisa & hana. they just don’t know why he behaving like that. his trauma manifested itself deeply that he apologized to tohru in her sleep cuz he was “ too scared to even look at your face”.

- Kyo’s trauma takes physical shape: (Clutching his heart: PAIN, clutching his stomach : DISGUST) :

While confessing to tohru, kyo’s features spoke volumes. You can see disrepair, guilt, broken soul, sadness & surrender. His body reflected his emotions:

wide eyes (disbelief), Cat eyes (utter fear)

trembling body (overwhelmed with toxic emotions)

clutching his fists (anger at self) , opening fists (surrender to darkness)

hand covering face (shame), Hand around neck as he finished confessing abt kyoko & yuki (desire for death: the final judgement)

The most focused physical appearance was his fist clutching his heart: he was in so much pain as he narrated how he loved kyoko & found a friend in her, desired to make her happy, to find tohru for her, how his his mom withered away out of fear of him & how pitiful & sad he felt towards tohru for loving someone like him. It broke his heart to see them all suffer after knowing him. All the love he felt for them squeezed his heart tight, he wanted to pull it & rip it away. Above all, he was sad to loose them all. Sad he can’t be wit them.

Then he clutched his stomach: representing the pure disgust he felt at himself. As he realized that there is no escape from being responsible for their death, as he admitted he illogically blamed yuki, his disgust with himself boiled in his stomach. What kind of disgusting horrible person does that? blame someone illogically? I’m horrible, hateful & utterly undeserving to be forgiven. Being disgusted with one’s own self! oof! it was so well-done with animation!

-Tying Mature Themes with Child Trauma:

Through kyo’s story, there were different mature themes that excellently dictate his behavior, mentality & emotional well-being: Excellent writing!

(1) The desperate need for self-worth: To be good for once!

by constantly destroying his self-worth thro contempt (the sohmas), rejection (his mom), hate (his father), pity (kazuma/ kagura, initially), kyo searched for an outlet to be a worthy human. Someone who deserves to be loved for who he is. He found that in kyoko. It is brilliant that kyo didn’t look for a mom in kyoko. He called her “ old hag”, she told him unflattering facts abt herself “ neglecting her daughter”. she was his first real friend. He found comfort being with her. He wanted to return the intimate feeling he felt deep down, kyo is so hung up on giving as much as taking as it contradicts the notion of pity. The opportunity came! Helping her find her daughter! being someone who does good! Return the daughter & feel worthy of being a true friend, a man (aka a person). “ i’ll help her, I’ll protect her for sure! it’s a man’s promise” The promise in its core is abt kyo wanting to be a person. Not a monster, or a cat. A true real boy. Away from all the toxic past emotions. Being a man: means being a big boy (person) with good achievements! All this shattered when a better boy beats him to it. The boy who was always praised, loved & respected! kyo’s self-worth diminished greatly & all the toxic emotions came back!

(2) The downfall of faulty coping mechanism: Creating a Bad Guy:

I stated before that one of my fave scenes of kyo was in se02, ep23 when kyo lashed out at yuki on the stairs upon seeing the hat & how yuki felt nothing but pity towards kyo as he was stuck in the past while yuki moved on. Brilliant scene that explains why one moved on & the other didn;t. Yuki’s faulty coping mechanism was being withdrawn & shutting himself. This coping mechanism didnt make him feel better at all!!! Also, he doesn’t have regrets nor sins, he dealt with his faulty coping mechanism with tohru’s help & the school council & healed gradually. Forever loving the writer for writing the distinction between kyo & yuki logically without painting any as monster in reality. Kyo couldn’t do as yuki for the following reasons: ( remember the old theme of everybody heals on their own pace? love it )

(a) He was addicted to shifting the blame as it made him feel better abt himself!! he shifted his thoughts from “ I wanna go away for good” “ mom, why didn’t you kill me instead” to “ it’s not my fault at all, it’s yuki” No match between the two feelings! one leads to suicide, the other leads to feeling like a mere victim. The two feelings are wrong tho & He knows that! he isn’t ready to stop the drug. He can’t face himself. “ the bad guy, if he isn’t as awful as you think, who you’re left to blame”.

(b) nothing around him can make him feel better. Tohru? but she’s kyoko’s daughter! she’s a lonely orphan, carrying her mommy’s pic taking to it! why? cuz you didn't save her! Loving tohru? is good & I wish we can run away far & be together always! wake up! why would she wanna be with a disgusting monster like you?!! You dont deserve her! you who caused his mom to die, caused her mom to die, blamed an innocent guy! Yuki? yeah, look at yuki, you can never be like him, watch as his true kindness gets noticed by tohru, the school & everybody!! he’s everything you cant be!! he should be with tohru! not you!! Master kazuma? poor guy! you brought him nothing but misery! you see his sad smile, don’t you? he’s disappoint in you. Kagura? she pities you!

(b) Kyo can’t fix his mistakes. kyo watched as yuki got back with his brother, befriended haru again, goes back to the sohma estate for the holidays. he feels he cant have similar reweds as he cant bring the things he needed. his mom, kyoko, his bio dad’s affection, kazuma’s pride in him, tohru’s love & his own satisfaction at himself. kyo just hates kyo “so much, so intensely, so completely”

(c) his fault coping mechanism mirrors his dad’s. Kids pick up toxic habits from parents all the time. Even his suicidal thoughts mirrors his mom’s! brilliant writing!

3- running away from responsibilities: perfectly constructed theme!

Who didn’t? I’m guilty! ugh! one of the best themes in furuba hands down! Any other writer would have made kyo do it once, or twice & have him face it in climax & then deal with it. but NOT takaya-san! She excellently took her time with kyo repeating this exact mistakes over & over to better portray the theme & take it out from the boundaries of story-telling to realistic depiction & logical gradual progression:

kyo ran away from being accused of killing his mom (he’s completely innocent & isn’t responsible for his birth’s deformity/curse nor his mom’s suicide)

kyo ran away from accepting kyoko’s words that yuki isnt bad & most importantly that kyo is good. He had found relief in blaming yuki, now you wanna tell me I should look into myself? I’m bad! i dont wanna look. your words are weird “ no bad or good” Everybody says otherwise, the sohmas, dad & mom! kyo angrily ran away (completely guilty but excused as child would be).

kyo ran away from facing kyoko’s body & wanted to punish himself with death. Depression took over him as “ master tried to get me to keep living”. (completely guilty in his own eyes, if only he tried to safe her, even if he transformed, Even if she still died regardless!!! he hates himself for choosing the disgusting kyo over the kind kyoko)

kyo ran away from telling tohru the truth upon seeing her, pretended not to know her, slowly dying each time she smiles, slowly falling in love & wishing for a chance with her, a chance he believes doesn't deserve.

Kyo ran away in se01, ep14 when remembering the accident as shigure triggered him. Tohru consoled him & he lost the chance to come clean.

kyo is running away now. Unable to face her “ too scared to even look at your face”. “ I cant forgive me! I dont want you to fogive me either”

So, after running away the first time, kyo should’ve learned better, right? now in the climax, he shouldn’t have run away? Yes, he should. cuz simply, he isnt ready. We dont learn from our mistakes cuz someone told us. we learn when we fix the core issue. A guy who thinks he deserves a chance in life would stand tall, confess his sins, argues, talks, tells the story unbiased, then waits for verdict. kyo thinks he doesn’t deserve to be alive, thus, tells the story with server bias towards judging himself as unworthy. HE decided the verdict & didnt wait for tohru: “ I cant forgive ME! I dont want you to forgive me either” That’s why toru’s words fall flat. “ why cant you see the truth: I love you” he can’t tohru!! cuz right now it is NOT abt love. It is abt trauma!

4- Sever guilt & desire for disappearance (death):

As adults our mistakes loom over us & we’re constantly reminded of the “ what if I had acted differently”. This ties with kyo witnessing his mom’s horrible death at 4 years old. Death in itself is scary. A loved ones death is devastating. Watching it unfold in shocking unprepared way is destructive. kyo was destroyed. Not enough: he gotta carry the guilt as his dad & the sohma hammer the accusations. He gets another chance & loves another person. Only to watch the blood splash reach his shoes. “Guilty” whispers the past. “Guilty” confirms the present. He stands in front of the most precious person to him. Now what? If tohru forgives you, the pain goes away???? You wouldn’t repeat the ultimate mistake of killing her, would you? you ominous creature. Her mom warned you. The nightmare stands hovering over kyo’s head, waiting to come true. IT WILL COME TRUE!!! OMG!!!

if Akito does it. It wouldn’t be kyo’s fault, right? If the car hit kyoko, it’s not my fault, right? if my mom did it herself, it wouldn’t be my fault, right?

But if only kyo didnt ran away, tohru would be alive. If only I pulled kyoko, she wouldn’t have died. If only I wasn’t born, mom wouldn't have killed herself.

The “ if only “ that killed kyo’s mom as she lamented “ if only I gave birth to the rat” will eventually destroy kyo! ugh!!! AMAZING WRITING!!!

5- The Right Time to Heal (self-desire or outside help?):

When yuki was trapped in Akito’s room, haru visited to help. did yuki accept it? NO. yuki didnt even remember much of it. Why? cuz it wasn’t the right time & yuki was too deep into darkness to notice, to accept & to change. It wasnt until he was out, in co-ed school, rebelling against akito, when tohru came, he accepted her, then it lead him to accept School Council & haru. Tohru had Arisa & hana, but never went to them in her darkest moment, hiding she was living in a tent, they were hurt & confronted her, still she kept hiding her fears, sadness & darkest thoughts, interfering in Arisa’s life to provide help, but never allowing them to interfere, until kyo came & broke her mask, she started to complain, talk, show true emotions & want things! She opened up to Isuzu, too. Arisa & hana weren’t the right ppl at the right time for tohru to heal. Kyo had kazuma to teach him better, kyoko to make him notice his mistakes, tohru to love him unconditionally, the right ppl, but all that was in the wrong time cuz he’s in his darkest moment now like yuki was, unable to see or accept. Healing requires self-desire & outside help, but it gotta be in the right moment, when you can see beyond the abyss & into the faint light of dawn. That’s when words will reach the heart. Kyo need to fall so hard, in order to stand up again. Today, he unloaded his burden, threw up the disgust he felt towards himself, spewed all the hate against the real bad guy: himself! Kyo is kyo’s bad guy, has always been. He needs to let go of hating himself & accept the kind gentle kyo that kyoko & tohru saw ~

Side Notes:

This ep is why furuba wins & deserves 20 years of recognition among manga-readers! this story is real! it is NO sweet fairy tale of two lovers. It is abt one’s self & desire to live. All of them struggle with this particular desire: kyo, tohru, yuki & the rest.

kid kyo was looking for young tohru all night! T_T

this ep of kyo confessing/ narrating his past , reminded me of yuki’s 3 eps of him confessing/ narrating his past!!! ugh! I wish tohru had that! ahhhh.

The 4 months in the mountains weren’t training!!!!! they were depression & suicidal thoughts! ouch!!

Perspectives are what dictate our feelings: Through yuki’s eyes, kyo was so happy with a loving father, friends around him & a house outside the sohmas. Thus, yuki envied him & wished to die not knowing kyo was living in trauma & feeling utter contempt & self-loath. Through kyo’s eyes, yuki was so happy with a living loving family, friends around him & a house with respect. Thus, kyo envied him & wished to die Not knowing that yuki was suffering abuse & neglect!

I love the pacing of this ep!!! It gives room to feel pain & understand the situation!!! I didn’t feel the headache of the bullet train!! THANK GOD!!! SO SATISFIED!!! I was invested all the time!

kyoko’s “ I’ll never forgive you” really destroyed kyo & went beyond it to destroy her own daughter! AAAAAAHHHH ~ T_T

I have some issues with the “ I forgot” part. It makes no sense that they make him forget the accident only to do the cheap cliff hanger in ep 6, then lazily weave it into his confession to tohru in ep. 8. He always remembered the accident. Apologized to tohru in her sleep in se01. ep14 for that exact accident, Then in se02, ep 9. It was ALWAYS in his mind! ALWAYS. Sorry Mr. Director. very lame try. lol.

The only thing I didn’t like is the music! very weird choices throughout the ep! especially at the end. Why a happy music over kyo’s “ I’m disappointed in you? lol!! its sad & tragic?! weird!!!!

I will talk abt Tohru will be in part 2. (her choice, kyo’s answer to her & the need to let go of her mom, the sohmas & of... kyo.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #GREAT EPISODE #satisfied paper #final season #Part 1

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papers4me · 3 years

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Fruits Basket, Se3, ep11 (part 1)

Breaking toxic bonds & accepting healthy ones isn’t a miracle. A bond that started with love could end up chained & toxic, another that started wrong could’ve become the joy of a life time. You can do it. Break the cycle of abuse & stand up for yourself, it is easy yet so difficult, you aren’t alone, tho, loved ones stand nearby cheering. Be kind on yourself, otherwise you’ll throw your life away. Life isn’t just happiness & joy, it’s also sadness & loneliness. Break free from the shackles that held you down. Embrace life & Live.

-Tohru’s “ I’m okay” mask is finally shattered! (the Importance of kyo’s rejection for her development):

This is the last part of tohru’s character development! The last few eps were abt her role in Akito’s redemption & their similarities. she staood up for herself & choose a path away from her mom while keeping her mom’s memory in a healthy manner. No more planning my life according to mom’s wishes, no more talking to mom ‘s picture 24/7. Now, I’ll plan my life & move forward even if it is with the guy mom said she cant forgive. even If it is without him, I’ll move forward. I love him so much, yet I won’t force our bond & let go. So easy yet so difficult!. tohru doesnt know anything abt kyo after her fall. All she remembers is his heart-broken face as he wept beside her. Those tears on his face, she caused them. He cried cuz it is too painful to see her hurt. She was a burden to him! tohru restored to her old coping mechanism of pretending “ i’m Okay” & smiling. She did so numerous times before. Always worked. No one noticed. Except him. Se02, ep7. he urged her to show her true fears. Now, she’s faced with a pain so big she can’t pretend no more. the pain of loosing him. She cried in front of yuki! The smile & chatting abt chores couldn’t conceal the running tears! Yuki’s first time seeing her like that. Se01, ep14, yuki wondered how could tohru smile after her mom’s death. She can’t pretend no more! She’ll have to wear her feelings on her sleeve! cuz it IS ok to do so! She tells kyo to give her a moment to compose herself. She couldn’t lie & pretend like she did with yuki. Here she either run away or just try to compose myself! I LOVE THAT! This way, whenever kyo/tohru fight or have any misunderstanding in the future as a couple, you’ll know tohru won’t just bear it & pretend, “ i;m okay” No! she’ll talk to kyo & express herself! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! It gives her so much strength as a human & I’m happy all the obstacles & set backs in kyo/tohru’s romantic journey has led them to be better ppl little by little to build healthier & more realistic love!

-The mechanics of writing a compelling slow-burn romance:

1. Igniting the romantic feelings slowly: Slow burns don’t work with love at 1st sight. It must first sparkle naturally, slowly & subtly. Both kyo & tohru repeatedly stated they don’t know exactly when they first fell in love. The author’s decision to create an environment where the two live together is a genius way to start & nurture their romance quietly & subtly. Kyo was tricked to stay in shigure’s house while tohru had to stay cuz she had no home, Natural reasons that force the two to spend days together & get to know each other gradually.

2. Dynamics of their personalities: For slow burns to work, the two characters need to be similar yet opposites! Kyo & tohru are both kind, endearing, innocent, good at chores, independent & hardworking. They both have history with their mothers that is filled with love yet traumas. However, tohru is calm yet prefer maneuvering around subjects, can’t stand up for herself, reads ppl easily, tends to trust ppl easily & disregard herself. Kyo is fierce, strong, tends to distrust ppl, despite ppl loving his spontaneous character, he has hard time figuring out if they’re mocking him or teasing him, very straightforward with his words & actions. The similarities helps them understand each other, however, the differences creates chances to clash & come even closer thro various situation. Ex, se01, ep2, kyo apologizing for hitting her head with the table which created the situation where she needed to confess she always loved the cat zodiac! It is HER gush of emotions that struck kyo. ppl really want my friendship? the cat is loved? Thro those difference they learned to better themselves so they won’t hurt the other, kyo toning down his anger for her, tohru desiring to know him even more as he becomes even more awkward.

3. Creating natural, realistic & convincing obstacles that prevents them from being together: This is the most important part! Slow-burn is two characters in love & cant be together despite everyone wanting them to be! if the reason that stops them from uniting is trivial, stupid, one-sided, can easily be solved, then the slow-burn would be a fillery & no one would cheer for it! Takaya-san is a genius!

Kyo can’t be with tohru cuz he thinks (a) he killed her mom! we saw thr flashback, he could’ve saved her & couldn’t save her. It was a split of a second difference & he hates himsef for NOT trying! that split of a second also prevented from thinking of better ways to save her than holding her! it happened to fast, he couldn't think of a better alternative cuz this was his 2nd time loosing someone (b) his mom’s sucide being pinned as his fault created this immense guilt & defeated feeling that “ no matter what, I just cause death & misery! There’s (c) too!, he knew tohru! thinks she deserves the world & cuz he didnt save her mom, he watched tohru talk to a freaking picture for two years! heck! he is the only one who can see thro tohru’s “ i;m okay” mask, so in se01, ep 14 in the grave yard! kyo wasnt the only one who is sad! tohru was too! & kyo could tell! (d) her mom’s death is the reason tohru is accepting shigure’s offer to stay with them rent-free in exchange of doing housework! (e)? he saw her confess crying her heart out abt missing her mom so much that she imitated her dad! so tragicly sad! (f) he saw her die in his nightmare!! how can he accept her love,now? Perfectly orchestrated obstacles!

Tohru, unfortunately, in the anime it wasn't that clear due to shortening her backstories & trauma in se03, ep6. But she too couldn’t see herself confessing love to kyo. Tohru is has low self-esteem, always thinks she’s a burden to others, an orphan who just wants her mom, so scared, lonely & sad! we the audience believed the mask! we saw her work her motherly charm yuki, isusuz, kisa & believe her issues are not that deep. tohru wont cry for herself but shed rivers for others! grief is so ugly it broke her! I cant let go of mom, must keep her always in my heart, such a hard emotions to write & I believe 100% the director couldn’t understand her grief & decided to split ep6 between her, kyo, isuzu & shigure. But Tohru struggling to confess to kyo is no laughing matter. ppl who are grieving find it the hardest to live after the loved ones die. they wont mostly commit suicide, they are alive, but they arent living. they just go thro the motions & live for the sake of those around them but not themselves. Tohru deciding to confess to kyo is her deciding to live for herself.

4. Writing a perfect psychologically & emotionally packed climax: I dont need to explain how perfect kyo’s rejection of tohru in se03 ep9 was. How much we felt for him yet were mad at him. He we were “ ugh! kyo no!!!! I mean I get why you do that , but you idiot no! come back! poor kyo! He was just so sad & broken! OMG he’ll kill himself after finding tohru’s injured body!! he totally would! his nightmare came true! But Tohru reached him! she wanted him to be okay! he wont kill himself but still feels hella guilty! but so utterly in love with her that his instinct upon seeing her come to life after near death is kiss her! Perfect display of psychology & emotions! filled with right, wrong, sad, happy, guilty, innocent! basically so human~ As the audience you MUST have this mixture of feelings of wanting to hug him so bad cuz this boy has been killing himself for years now yet want him to stop & just see that he was a good boy afterall. Tohru is THE best girl & if the audience are cheering for kyo to be with her, kyo really deserves her! The only problem is for kyo to see that now.

5. The Perfect wrap up of all romance: If you make your audience suffer the slow-burn this long, you gotta reward them good! & Takaya-san delivered! Just like how the entire romantic story is realistic, the reunion must be as realistic too! Tohru is hurt by kyo;s words. Facts remain his words were hurtful to her. I love that was addressed! tohru gets to tell her side, too! If you love someone, you are bound to be hurt by them as much as be happy with them. Simply cuz they matter so much to you! you arent one person, but two ppl coming together. Kyo must work hard for this confession. Must run & chase her. Must earn her proper! He gets on his knees, I cant express how important that is! he is way taller than her, Imagine apologizing while she looks way up & he looks down? He gets on his knees & apologize like a man, for every mistake, all while not loathing himself. He aint going back to that deep abyss again. He did wrong by her & he is owning up to his mistakes. Give me one chance. I’m not gonna force you with persistence or guilt you into taking me. Give me ONE chance cuz i deserve it & no more. The choice is yours. She asks to confirm, he shows her, they kiss, they hug, they are rewarded with a blessing from the heavens! One of the most simple yet emotionally fulfilling confessions in anime!

- Hugs over kisses: (And her kiss hugs her & the curse was lifted):

Prince charming kisses the princess & she wakes up~ they live ever after~ except furuba is all abt “ eternal ever after is not true, real life is where the real love is”

Kyo kissed tohru once, she didnt wake up, she didnt even think he loved her back. didnt even remember the kiss.

Kyo hugged tohru once. se01, e024, He initiated it, tohru was all in tears, surprised, happy & so utterly in love. he called her name for the first time ever, for a brief moment, they both connected, they both comforted each other. The rain stopped, he became a man not a monster, she got him back. She got her kyo that she fought for with none other than kyo himself.

kyo hugged her again, se03, ep6. They both initiated it. He made the first move, pulling her just a little closer, she made the second move & hugged him hard, he transformed, it was a moment were they both connected, both so sad & broken, both feeling needy for the other, both desperate for the other, both just living the moment. the result is them coming closer, her wanting him more, him realizing her love, there is no escape. Admit it. she loves you. You can tell.

Kyo hugs her again today. He asks permission. No spur of the moment feeling. But a long lasting permission to be together. To hug. He wants to hear her acceptance of his cursed body. “ is ok to hug you? this body will cause you pain as it wont be able to fulfill your wishes of constant hugs & intimacy”. She responds, permission granted, for love, for hugs, for a life long acceptance of you as a whole. weakness & strength, sadness & happiness. I accept you all in better & worse! we’re invincible. Why? cuz we understand love isnt magic. It is a path for us to walk together~~~ reward curse break!

Every time kyoru are closer it is a hug. The one thing the zodiacs cant do. A hug. They can kiss. But cant hug. comes this Zodiac Ruler girl so lonely, away from ppl, so sad, meets a cat boy who comes to the house she’s living in, a house away from ppl, the boy is drawn to the girl, However, when the boy needed to leave, the girl was able to let go despite loving him, the boy comes again, this time wanting to stay, the girl accepts the boy. They both accept the realistic reality of life. Embrace the obstacles & the achievements, celebrates the weakness above the strength. Both so imperfect. Both so endearingly dumb! that’s why the girl’s hug broke the boy’s curse. The girl’s acceptance of the cat broke all curses.

Side Note:

Kyo’s confession is so kyo! so straightforward, so direct, & so physical. He’s on his knees, holding her hands, looking at her eyes. “ i want to be WITH you. If I’m gona live, I want to to do it with you & no one else! cuz I love you” that’s it. That’s all. So sincere & so romantic!

it is crazy how different tohru & kyo are now after the confession! she stood confidently & happily & said “dont you know, I love you!” all while teasing him, her giggle is so girlish & cute! my girl is a happy woman in love! long buried the angelic mother image of se02! YES! also, kyo’s happy face is love! Dude! when was the last time he smiled so freely? Did he ever do that? He smiled in se01, ep4 with kazmua, but not like this! T_T. my son is healing~

Kyo’s “ i wont ever feel afraid if you’re with me” is a huge growth from his “ I want to protect her” mindset. Now he realizes it is two-sided mutual desire. She gives him strength as much as he does! <3

I dont like open eye while kissing, but here it is so perfect for tohru in this moment! cuz she spent days thinking kyo rejected her & even ran away as soon as she saw him, now he’s not only confessing, apologizing, admitting she is his life, but also kissing her signaling they’re romantic couple. kissing on lips is so personal, what more evidence she needs? still, her thoughts? “ it’s like a dream?” aww~~~ tohru~~~ my precious girl! she just cant believe all her suffering is over, now? She was just practicing “ i’m okay” smile & now she’s an official girlfriend to the man of her dreams? He just bent da kneeee~ go for it queen!

yuki’s face when tohru cried is exactly what I meant of “ allowing yuki to have strong facial expressions”! XD these types of faces humanize yuki so much into the teenage boy he is! Unfortunately the anime team only sees him as the pretty prince in most times. That’s why fave yuki is when he’s with kakeru. He becomes so un-princly as he should be.

Speaking of yuki, I see you anime team~ postponing his moment into next ep so him & machi wont be overshadowed by the long awaited kyoru!! While this defies the perfection of all cursed zodiacs breaking on the same ep making akito’s breakdown less perfect & poetic, I take it as the anime team admitting they underdeveloped yuchi & decided let’s give them more screen time & not putting them in close distance from any couple. A week later ep is enough with lots of time. I dont mind at all, I’m just saying more time after/while confession is not what i was hoping for~~ sigh~ At least I hope yuki would say sth along the lines” all this time I was looking at you, i realized i love you” to imply he was thinking of her as a lover not his kindness for someone he helped. I just dont want their love to be sudden simply cuz yuki needs happy ending. oh well~ I’m sure whatever it will be, the anime will give it utmost attention.

That sad moment when kagura wasnt allowed a moving image. lol. girl was given a still image that didnt even move with the breeze! T_T

Not gonna lie... the scene with kazuma & kyo was underwhelming. Why the wide shot? I mean you dont need budget for that. Just give me a closeup from the waist up with kyo head buried in kazuma’s chest. Dont need to waste budget on kazuma’s face, either.... do the old trick of hair covering eyes & show me glittery tears~ why the awkward shot of kazma towering in his own house! how tall is this man & why cant he he fix his roof?...lol

Also, shigure, you got scars man... who can hurt shigure? akito? gotta be her. I dont think hatori scratches...lol.. Aya? nah~ too busy with Mine! yup, akito... another steamy night? could be, she’s changed as he wish now. But scratching a face is weird while..um..kissing? a quarrel? but why? I bet she wants him now & we know he wants her....

More on part 2! especially abt the curse’s lore~

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #happy paper #final season #part 1

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