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#Lusi’s thoughts
lusi-raul · 5 months
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Currently going on a full stop at this aspect of my life. If anyone’s been waiting for me to drop new content here or on youtube I am so sorry there won’t be any for a good while. Don’t want to bore you with too much info about my personal life but it’s been tough lately for me and I need to prioritize other parts of my life rn.
Take it from an oldie, children! You are all ignorant! But rejoice for ignorance is bliss. Your innocence and naivety is precious. Cherish it because this world has no place for it once it takes it away from you. One thing I really regret when I was in my teen years was acting as if I know how the world works. I thought I was at the peak of awareness but I was simply not. I’m older now but the more I know things the more mysterious the world becomes. The more things I learn the bigger the questions that follows it. I feel so grown yet far too young. I feel so stupid yet so knowledgable it’s so strange. To those in the same age bracket as me (older GenZ), do you relate? Or am I just weird? lol
Stopping now with whatever that was, whoever might be reading this take it from me. Regret is such a painful thing to go through. Live your life now in line with the goals you’ve set upon yourself, in line with how you see yourself and your loved ones in the future and not on momentary instant gratification. Don’t worry about superficial things, Don’t worry at all! Worrying is a trick used to prevent and distract your brain into coming up with the most efficient solutions to your problems. Accept the fact that you don’t know much at all but what you know is enough to live the life you currently have, the life you want for the future and that even if you will continue to know more and more as you grow this will not change that fact.
I sound like I’m on my deathbed imparting wisdom unto my grandchildren lol. Anyway See you guys when I get back! Thank you for those who I’ve exchanged ideas with; To those who were willing to read my random opinions about things I barely know about; To those who got attached to pixelated cubitos and eggs with me. You guys have a special place in my heart. God bless you guys ❤️
- Lusi Grace Solafee
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lusigrace-solafee · 10 months
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Yeah sometimes there are just opinions of mine that others won’t care about. It’s a hard thing to deal with but its a good reminder for me to accept that it’s okay and that it doesn’t make my opinion invalid in anyway.
People see through life in different lenses and different angles. It’s fine, Lusi. You care. It’s enough.
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filthy-mudeoki · 10 months
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A perfect present
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A missing moment from the two year time leap before the beach proposal
Sang Yan’s bar is already quite busy when Jiaxu arrives. But it doesn’t take him long to find his friend in their designated booth. There’s food already on the table and he’s grateful because he’s had no time to eat all day. (He’s carefully avoided having to tell Sang Zhi this knowing it would only cause her to worry more.)
“You know once she moves back here you can’t keep this up. She’ll kill you if she finds out you’ve been skipping meals again,” Sang Yan warns him.
Jiaxu smiles. “Is that why you’re feeding me, darling brother?”
Sang Yan scoffs as he always does when Jiaxu teases him like that.
“Jiaxu,” his friend sighs and Jiaxu can hear the worry in his voice.
He places his chopsticks down. “It’s okay. I just worked a little extra now so I’ll have more time available later.”
Sang Yan nods, immediately understanding. “So have you decided what you’re going to get the little demon for her graduation?”
Jiaxu smiles and it does not go unnoticed by Sang Yan.
“Well?” His friend asks impatiently and Jiaxu only smiles a little more.
“I have an idea.” Jiaxu knows he’s probably got a bit of a dopey look on his face but he doesn’t care. These days he thinks he’s always got a dopey look on his face when he thinks about his girlfriend.
As he expects Sang Yan rolls his eyes; more in habit than annoyance. Secretly, Sang Yan has been Jiaxu and Sang Zhi’s biggest fan but he wouldn’t dare let them know that. He enjoys giving them a hard time too much for that. But he also knows that he’s never seen two people more in love and no two people who are so perfect for each other. He has always wanted the best for his sister and thought his best friend deserved true happiness. He just never thought they’d find it with each other.
“Fine. Don’t tell me,” Sang Yan whines and Jiaxu laughs.
“Why don’t you wait until graduation weekend?”
Sang Yan doesn’t answer him as some of their friends come to join them.
It’s not an unwelcome interruption. Jiaxu hasn’t seen his friends in a while and he’s happy to indulge them now with jokes and stories. He’s mindful of them too and notices that even Sang Yan has pulled back on the drinks tonight. At the end of the night he calls them a taxi and they rowdily get in waving their goodbyes. The bar’s quieter now, just a handful of workers, Sang Yan and himself.
His friend has been calling out instructions to his employees before joining Jiaxu at their table again.
“Sang Yan,” he says and there’s something in his tone that has his friend sitting up right almost immediately. “Are your parents free this weekend? There is something I’d like to talk to them about.”
Sang Yan raises a brow. “What is it?”
“Zhizhi’s graduation present.”
Sang Yan sits back, eyeing his friend closely. “Duan Jiaxu, what are you planning? You’re not moving back to Yihe are you?”
Jiaxu laughs. “No! Of course not. Nanwu is where we both want to be.”
“So?” And there’s a playful smirk that Sang Yan’s got that tells Jiaxu his friend might already guess at his plans.
Nevertheless he puts his hand into his pocket and pulls out the thing that has been weighing heavy in his coat all night. He places the soft grey box on the table and leans back to gauge his friends reaction.
Sang Yan looks from him to the box and back to him again. “Are you sure?”
Jiaxu doesn’t answer, merely tipping his head to the side a little. Of course they both know he’s sure but as a big brother, Sang Yan has to ask.
Eventually Sang Yan picks up the box, opening it to carefully examine the ring inside. He whistles as he brings it closer for inspection.
“I’ve always told her I’m going to be good to her and love her for the rest of my life. I’ve worked hard to settle everything here and make sure she’s going to live well when she comes back home. Everything I’ve done has been for her and ... darling brother,” he teases and Sang Yan scoffs, “I would like your blessing to continue loving her not just as my girlfriend but as my wife.”
Despite it all, Sang Yan is speechless for a moment. “You’re ... asking for my blessing too?”
Jiaxu sighs. “I told you before, I didn’t handle it properly when we first started dating. I don’t want this to be like that. I want to do this right.”
Snag Yan looks back at the ring. “I never thought anyone would ever be good enough for Sang Zhi. But I was wrong ... and I’m glad it’s you... so yes.”
Jiaxu looks momentarily surprised and Sang Yan huffs. “Ya! Did you really think I’d say no?”
Jiaxu does his best not to grin too wide. “I just didn’t think you’d agree so quickly.”
“It’s for Zhizhi and I’m not going to stop her from being happy like she deserves.” He leans forward and says his final piece. “Besides, I know your character Duan Jiaxu. I trust you with her.” He looks over at his friend who is grinning like a fool and it’s almost entirely too much bromance for him to handle.
Sang Yan hands him the box back, ring carefully tucked inside.
Jiaxu smiles as he looks down at it and Sang Yan knows these two are going to be unbearably sappy come post-engagement.
“You’ll be there when I ask her.”
Sang Yan pauses. “You want me there?”
“Hhm, and your parents.”
“Are you sure?” And because he can’t help but tease his friend he adds, “It’ll be so embarrassing for you if she says no and we’re all there to see it.”
Jiaxu laughs. “You think she’ll say no?”
“You think she’ll say yes?”
“Of course she will.”
Sang Yan laughs. “I hope your proposal is as great as your confidence.” An idea comes to mind and he leans forward, mockingly fearful as he says, “I hope you don’t plan to have us dress up in weird costumes or whatever.”
Jiaxu rubs at his jaw thoughtfully. “Actually I had a whole song and dance in mind for you.”
Sang Yan scowls and waves his friend off.
Jiaxu shakes his head. “Relax, darling brother. All you have to do is be there. I thing Zhizhi would love that the most.”
Sang Yan nods his head but can’t bring himself to say that he wholly agrees because once again, Jiaxu has proven just how well he knows his sister.
“So what do you have in mind?”
“Snag Zhi likes the beach and I -“ he’s cut off by his cellphone ringing. He glanced down and immediately grins. He can practically feel Sang Yan’s eye roll as he tells him to answer it.
“Wei.”
“Wei Jiaxu,” comes her soft reply and as it always does, it fills his heart with warmth.
“Did you eat?” She asks and Sang Yan gives him a knowingly look but doesn’t say anything. He sighs, and leaves the table as Jiaxu and Sang Zhi talk.
Sang Yan is back as the bar, checking with his employees when he glances over at his friend. His best friend who is sitting with the happiest look on his face as he talks quietly into his phone. He knows then that no matter what they’ll always be happy. They’ve already proved that things like age and time and distance are no problems for their love. He catches Jiaxu playing with the ring box as he talks to Sang Zhi, that smile on his face that is reserved strictly for Jiaxu’s Zhizhi.
He returns to the table when he sees that Jiaxu is die with his phone call.
“Did the little demon give you a hard time?”
Jiaxu laughs and says no. Sang Yan knows it’s the truth - at least in Jiaxu’s eyes. Because nothing is too much or hard or impossible for Jiaxu when it comes to Sang Zhi.
“Do you think she’ll like the present?” Jiaxu asks him.
For a moment Sang Yan is surprised. Mostly because Jiaxu never doubts himself when it comes to dotting on Sang Zhi. He does it so instinctively that there is never any room for complaint or doubt. But he understands that maybe this is a little different.
“Yes. I think she’s gonna love it. It’s a perfect present for the little demon,” he tells his friend.
Jiaxu visibly relaxes at that as he looks back down at the ring box. He sees the excitement in Jiaxu’s eyes and Sang Yan finds he shares some of that as he imagines what his sister’s reaction will be.
He knows what Sang Zhi’s answer will be. Despite what he told Jiaxu earlier, he has no doubt that Sang Zhi will say yes because he is quite certain he doesn’t know any two people more perfect for each other.
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mytalemyworld · 2 years
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My Thoughts on Cheng Shaoshang & Ling Buyi (First 24 Episodes )(*contains spoiler*)
So if a Byronic hero and a female Harry Potter were a couple...
Well that seems to be a crazy fanfiction idea but this is real.
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So the female lead, Cheng Shaoshang (Niaoniao), had been left behind by her parents who had to go to a military expedition, and thus she had been brought up by abusive family members. Since she had nobody but herself to depend on, she learnt only one thing. How to survive. When finally her parents came back to home after 15 years she thought her life would be different, but then her mother started giving her a hard time under the disguise of parental education and she no longer believes that there will be someone who really cares about and protects her. Her only aim is to escape her mother's clutches and strict manners and be free enough to do what she wishes. Which leads her to make very heartbreaking choices.
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And the male lead, General Ling Buyi (Zhisheng), has a tragic backstory. His mother's family had been massacred because of a treacherous act in the army, his mother went insane to the point where she no longer knows her own son, his father who thought his son and his wife also died in the massacre, got married with his cousin and didn't divorce her even after he found out his son and his wife were alive. So basically he loathes his father too much that he even goes against him in front of the strangers (I must remind you this is Confucian society) and turned into a war machine even though he used to have hemaphobia when he was a kid. This tells you enough what kind of person whom he turned into. He seeks justice -but more like revenge- and tries to find the mastermind behind the massacre.
She learns how to be cunning and street smart, he learns how to be ruthless and cold as ice.
Ling Buyi fell for first and then harder. He was in this for the long haul however he lost his chance. Because he is too late to confess his feelings. Also she doesn't know him and finds fim a little scary. She clearly states that she doesn't want to live in a violent and suffocating environment, has no desire to carry more responsibilites so being a militarist's wife is not even a desirable choice. And he knows this. So that's why he is out of the picture. But is he really?
The thing is although she wants to stay away from responsibilites and harshness because of the way she was brought up, the same reason causes her to listen to the voice of conscience. She can not tolerate any injustice or bullying. Also since she has strong survival skills, she is excellent at making the right choices under fatal circumstances. She is born to lead and yet to see this simple truth.
So this is deifinitely not a smooth sailing. They are kindred spirits but she needs to realise this by herself: what she really wants, with whom she will walk on the road she chooses, who she is. As for him, he already knows what he wants but I think we’ll see how much he needs someone to fight for him as well.
I am gonna write “My Top Ten OTP Scenes” below.
10) The way he understood her plot and helped her.
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They are match made in heaven.
9) Third time’s a charm! Their third meeting was one of the most memorable scenes for me!
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You know he is not a gentleman when it comes to other ladies, he has like no-shit-given attitude, he doesn't follow etiquettes or some social norms, HOWEVER after she had lied in front of everyone by saying that he admired her but she never reciprocated his feelings, and came to face to face the man whom she talked about confidently a few seconds ago while trying to make a dramatic exit, the only thing he did was to smile (which is a rare sight) without correcting her lie.
He’s the heartless general to everyone else, but completely whipped and adoring around her. 
I am going weak at my knees.
8) Being confidants 
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He doesn't find her annoying or see her as a person who should be disciplined, on the contrary he acts like they are peers, he entrusts her with finding a secret map, shows her respect.
Of course he teases her a lot but in the manner of a lover. Cute.
7) Cliche but who cares.
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I mean I've seen worse slow burn romances than this, I have a tough skin when it comes to angst, but this doesn't change the fact that his agony goes deep.
He accepts harsh reality but never stops loving her which brings them to this point: He asks for the emperor to give her a praising (very well deserved btw) so people will show some respect to her and then reads the imperial edict at her engagement banquet. 
Peak level angst.
Well, selfless love is something like this I guess.
Later she trips and he holds her...*Katy Perry E.T.  starts playing in my mind*
Meanwhile everybody at the banquet: *le-scandale*.
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Everbody just knows. Or feels something is going on.
6) The execution scene and later all the dialogues in his carriage
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The man has strong spidey-senses or more like Shaoshang needs me senses maybe? 
Even if it’s a little controversial to see Lady He has enough strength to behead someone, I’ll overlook realities.
5) His going feral after finding out she got ambushed.
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I will never get over this.
4) JUST ALL OF THIS
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Damn. You can clearly see that they are just so compatible.
She is smart, determined and doesn’t give a shit about what is ominous or not. Even after the surrenders try to scare her she doesn’t waver. She has strong beliefs about justice. To her, justice isn’t something to be sacrificed for some traditions, you must act immediately even at the cost of breaking some taboos.
That’s why he admires her and knows he found his lifepartner.  
3) His farewell 
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The whole scene is so heartbreaking but you know what hits me hard? After watching the peaceful scenery in front of him he says “I just remembered that I never earnestly listened to you playing the flute since we know each other.”. 
This is a perfect way of telling how late he is to be with her. Even though I dislike her mother, she is right about one deduction, he is always on his duty, busy going after the betrayers, solving the cunning plans made by some traitors and he missed his chance to be with her under some normal and peaceful conditions. 
When she hopefully says she can play it for him later, it's just another hit. After the mission which seems to be fatal. If they have a chance. Which he thinks they will never meet again.
2) The public love declaration
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CSS: General Ling. The wife you get in the future will be a lot better than me. I am stubborn since young. I won't be educated and won't listen to you. Will you still marry someone like me? LBY: Of course. I never knew how wonderful I am to you. Similarly I am sure you don't know that in my eyes, Cheng Shaoshang is the best lady in the capital. Everyone says to marry a gentle and virtuous lady. Madam Cheng is fierce in battle and doesn't lose to men on the battlefield. But off the battlefield, you're also in love with General Cheng. It's clear to see that every couple is different and not as everyone says. Shaoshang might not be an obedient lady in everyone's eyes. But to me, she is the whole capital and the whole world's best lady. Indeed. She is pure and decisive. She dares to love and hate. She is the only one who can walk alongside me in this world. I will only marry her in my life.
I HAVE NO WORDS.
1) Her removing arrow from his chest
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I think this is way too intense not because of the process, just because of his whole demeanor and starings...also man has to sort out his priorities because-
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Yeah buddy you are just about to lose your arm or worse your life and your only concern is if there is someone special in her life or her hands hurt. It's just freaking too much. Maybe the first question is to make her relaxed but come on he really asks what he is curious about. The first part of her answer makes him upset even. I can’t with him.
This is the main dish then the dessert is served.
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CSS: *Casually talking about the mastermind behind the ambush like a strategist* LBY: *Proud husband look* His men: *gasp*
She is like "oh god i didn't hold my tongue again and now they will think i am not normal" but she has no idea, doesn’t she?
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dramasauce · 8 months
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Jiaxu biting into that burger that Jiang Ming brought the morning after Zhi was drunk. LMAO
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tianmijun · 2 years
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A COUPLE DAYS LATER...
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Love like the Galaxy Ep.41 (or S2E14)
a night of heartfelt pain for a pair of very nice chicken mandarin duck wings
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machinefetishist · 9 months
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Top 5 megadeth songs go!!
OH OK OK SO
MECHANIX, IN MY DARKEST HOUR, ADDICTED TO CHAOS, THE KILLING ROAD, SHADOW OF DETH
currently going through the biggest she-wolf brainrot i love it sm
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saladv · 1 year
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wow its these guys
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depressingxthings · 11 months
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Hidden love is such a good cdrama, i'm going to miss it already 😭
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xbethelight · 2 years
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Who Rules the World 且试天下 (2022)
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tintatpapel · 1 year
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I used to cringe hard when seeing something like this on facebook but now I don’t know what changed or maybe this perspective goes along with getting older but now I look at it with nothing but fuzzy feelings and nostalgia. I’ve long lost contact with this friend of mine but this post brought back memories with them. She was such a great friend to 11-14 year old me.
I don’t remember writing this though, but reading through the comments brought context. I probably wrote this on the cusp of being 12 or just after my 12th birthday, apparently I wrote it as per her request about her and her crush. I don’t remember ever writing it but I’m 100% certain I was thinking about my crush when I wrote it haha. I may or may not still like and think about the guy yeaaaaaars down the line with absolutely 0 communication ha.ha.ha. Help.
It never made sense to me how I came to love literature and poetry but looking at this now it started early. I don’t even remember my parents ever reading a book or quoting literature or poetry. The first book I ever read that I 100% chose to read out of interest were the HP series when I was 11 after begging for my parents to buy it but my dad resolved the matter by downloading pirated pdf copies of the series for me. I never owned physical books (aside from those required for school) until other extended family noticed I liked reading books and started gifting it to me in my late teenage years.
From a child who was shamed for not knowing what the word “Religious” meant at grade 3, I grew up to love discovering new vocab each day and writing stories and poetry. I also grew up to have such a strong faith for our Heavenly Father and Yeshua. How ironic.
If by some improbable chance, this friend stumbles upon this:
Hi! I hope you are doing just as well as I have been seeing on your socials. I am proud and happy for all you’ve accomplished and for the woman you grew up to be. I may or may not reach out to you after this. It really has been way too long since we’ve last interacted. Since I see that you’re doing well in your life, I will not disturb it but know that you have impacted young me so much in terms of my standards in gaining friends along with others in our friendgroup just by being a good friend. Thank you so much ❤️
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brain-dump-of-lucy · 1 year
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Soon enough I’ll stop saying “I should…” and say “I’ve done…”
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thewertsearch · 2 days
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Damn. Well, it's not like you actually needed it to fly. Hope you made a note of its code!
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I love that WV is just chilling with John now, as he meanders around the Battlefield. The Vagabond is a bit of a wanderer too, so they make a good pair.
AG: Your guardians are not here! EB: oh… EB: dang it! EB: do you know where they are? AG: Yes, they are in another castle. Don't worry, you'll find them later.
Sorry, John. According to gaming tradition, you'll need to explore seven different castles to find what you're looking for.
AG: John, are you mad at me? EB: um… no?
He genuinely isn't, is he?
If any of the other kids learned of Vriska's role in their session's downfall, they'd be ready to throw down - but for John, it's no biggie. He's practically forgotten about it already.
Nothing really fazes this kid, from life-threatening situations to startling family revelations. At least, nothing appears to faze him - but he can't no-sell the game's trials forever. Maybe he's just putting them all in the Vault.
AG: Then what's the matter? EB: i guess i just miss my dad. i was hoping he would be here, but apparently i won't see him for another few hours or whatever? […] AG: I still find it a little hard to understand the sentimentality you attach to these adult humans. […] EB: i guess you just have to think of them the way you think of your lusus..ses? Lusi? […] AG: Except I never liked mine that much. ::::\ AG: Even after I prototyped her, things were pretty chilly 8etween us! I spent most of my adventure avoiding her. Haha.
Fuck, I've never really thought about that. Vriska was stuck with Spidermom for the entire game - and now she could abuse her verbally, too.
That’s... incredibly shitty, actually. Most Sburb Players get to leave their oppressors behind, but Vriska’s became her guide.
EB: why would i be mad at you, vriska? AG: 8ecause I tricked you into getting killed!!!!!!!! EB: oh. right. EB: i… actually almost forgot about that! AG: Would it help if I said I was sorry?
Something very strange is happening to Vriska, here.
She’s killed before – countless times – and she’s never shown anything close to this level of remorse. Sure, she tried to make things up to Aradia, but that never got very far. Vriska just wanted to 'fix' things with her apology gift, and didn't seem to care about Aradia's own feelings. It was too self-centered to be a true apology.
For the first time ever, Vriska's not making an apology all about her, and she isn't ruining it with the insults that are normally so ubiquitous among the trolls. I think it's the first time she's apologized and meant it, and it might signal the beginnings of an actual change.
Among her many crimes, Vriska’s 'murder' of John is relatively mild - but I think it's hitting her much, much harder than the others. She's so worried about ruining things with him that she's apologizing like a human.
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mytalemyworld · 2 years
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The Emperor: Zisheng your fiancee is not bad. I shall reward you a fief of 200 households.
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LBY: Do you know? Everyone in the royal court is envious of me. They say I'm about to marry a graceful woman.
My realistic inner voice says those snobbish people around him are envious of him because she can bring home the money. And also she is the recycling queen! 
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LBY: People always say you're stubborn and cold. That's because they don't know you at all. When you decide to treat someone well, you mean it. You'll do everything. Even at your expense.
You know this is just so lovely, because he always sees her true self but the other people didn’t. She proved them wrong. And he is happy, not because he will get their approval (He never gives a sh.t about that, he already knows he chose the right person for himself.) because he knows that people will give credit to her. Because she needs to be appreciated more.
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Ughhh. Still can't get over it.
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She said she missed home, he didn't buy her lie but did not persist, just smiled lightly and tried to make her feel relaxed first.
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CSS: Other than Mingmen, can you teach me something else? At least if someone ever bullies me, I can fight back. LBY: I'm here. No one will bully you. CSS: What if you're not? LBY: Okay. What do you want to learn?
Did he sense something here? Because she seemed to be on the verge of tears again, didn't look him in the eye and looked thoughtful, unfocused a little?
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Honestly if she hadn't been outnumbered or hit from behind, she’d have fought back. So no wonder she asked what she could do if someone attacked her behind.
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What kind of self defense method is this? Sir, are you sure she must do things like this with other people?
Joking aside, I love how he tried to lighten the atmosphere. He may not have any social skills but knows what to do with her.
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LBY: From now on my life is yours. Niaoniao, can you tell me what exactly happened?
He was stroking her hair. It's a shame that we could only watch it from this angle. Uggh Mr. Director I want an extended version, please!
By the way this is interesting. Since they are in the palace now, there are not many people who can bully her easily. It's like he was saying "if the reason you're not telling me is your concern about me, just don't be scared. My life belongs to you. Just use me. I can be your soldier too.”
If someone did something to her, he clearly doesn't want them to get away with this. She shouldn't learn self defense, at least not for this purpose, they should directly destroy the origin of the bullying.
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CSS: Can you promise me something? LBY: Yes. As long as it's about you.
Her face tells you everything. She is in love with him. She fell in love slowly and completely.
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lolitaari-bjd · 9 days
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Just thought I'd make a first post. Here's my very favorite girl Kiki🩷✨️
Kiki is a hybrid bjd. She's a Unoa lusis decent on a dust of dolls roze msd size body. 🎀
Faceup by tonocha. Tops by gyhm skirt and wig by me.
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damistrolls · 13 days
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A greasy blind nerdy rustblood psiionic. He has a bat lusis. I made him a decade ago so forgive me for some of the stylistic choices, but it was fun coming back to him bc i remember designing him to be the opposite of what i thought alternia might consider conventionally unattractive. Looking back through old pics it really feel this fantrolls grown with me, and while im not in the tumblr rp scene much anymore it was nice to feel inspired to draw him again.
yeeeeess YEESSSS!!
thank u for showing me <3
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