#Lee Jihoon Fanfiction | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

leejihoonownsmyheart · 2 years

Text

Car Crash

Genre: Fake dating, enemies to lovers

Tags/Warnings: idol!yn, idol!jihoon, gn!yn but they’re in a group with girls so interpret as you will (also sex), arguing, word count (all together) 35k words :(, Sungsoo exists which is always scary in fics, Jihoon’s kind of shy

Smut warnings: Reader is a bottom, dirty talk, teasing, Jihoon isn’t shy when they’re having sex, top!Jihoon, …mindbreak?, creampie, overstimulation, blowjob, fingering

Part One is here and after the very long wait of ten minutes here is the next part!

Part Two:

“Did you see this article?” You asked. You were lounging on Jihoon’s couch in his studio, just keeping him company while you waited for him to need you again to record the actual song. You two had been working on the demo for a few weeks and you finally had gotten the thumbs up from the company (and a glowing review from Bumzu) so now you two were recording the final version of it that would be on the single. Jihoon was mostly working on messing with what you two had already recorded and messing with the overlays.

“What article?” Jihoon asked. He didn’t look at you but he turned his head slightly in your direction as to indicate that he was listening.

“It’s about how long they think we’ve been together and what they think just started our relationship,” you replied. “We can tell from their adorable dates- chasing each other in the park and giggling over a shared plate of jjajangmyeon that the two are happy to finally be public about your relationship so we can assume that they might have even been together for years.”

Jihoon laughed, now turning his attention fully towards you.

“Together for years, huh?”

“And to think, Jeonghan kept saying we weren’t being convincing enough,” you agreed. “It’s so entertaining to read these. I learn a new thing about our relationship every day.”

Jihoon hummed; amusement still laced in his voice as he turned his attention back to the computer. You continued to read through the articles, trying to figure out what the media liked about you and Jihoon’s “relationship” and what they didn’t.

They had deemed you unabashed in the media. Claiming that you two were so proud of your relationship that the company didn’t dare give you any consequences. You were also praised for what you two were doing by coming forward with your relationship. Now in the ranks with that of Hyuna and Dawn and Momo and Heechul, people thought you two were brave for trying to normalize idols in relationships. It had brought both your groups more popularity overseas.

But you two were also condemned by netizens for being so shameless. Your dates were much too public in their opinions. But there were bound to be haters, you both had known that going in.

“Can you come over here? I want us to record the bridge again.”

You nodded, setting your phone down on the coffee table.

“Heard on that.”

“You’re obsessed with those articles- you know that?”

You glanced over at Jeonghan. He was laying on the shillings of the roof along with you, his arm dangling over the edge. Your eyes flitted back to the stars- the reason you two were up here in the first place, shutting off your phone.

“They’re interesting to read,” you replied. “It kind of sucks, you know? Reading all about this perfect amazing relationship I am in that is defying traditional Korean beliefs and it’s not even real.”

You sat up and pouted.

“I’m a romantic, Jeonghan. Romantics weren’t meant for fake relationships.”

“I guess you should have thought about that before-”

“Before I made a dumb assumption about a good man,” you interrupted, your tone mocking. “Haven’t I suffered enough for my transgressions?”

Jeonghan laughed and propped himself up on his elbows to look at you.

“Jihoon may have forgiven you, but as his friend I have to hold you accountable.”

You pouted and dropped yourself back down on the roof.

“I can’t believe he ever let me be his friend,” you said. “I was awful to him. I don’t deserve his friendship.”

“You don’t,” Jeonghan agreed, making a soft hey leave your mouth. “But I told you once and I’ll tell you once again. He likes you. Of course, he would forgive you.”

“He doesn’t like me,” you argued. “He tolerates me.”

“Wouldn’t you say that Jihoon is a romantic?” Jeonghan asked. You shrugged.

“He certainly comes off as one.”

“Romantics don’t just drop their feelings for someone like that.”

“Jeonghan, he wouldn’t have just dropped his feelings. I was consistently cruel to him. Those feelings died just the way that they should have,” you tried to rationalize. Still, as Jeonghan stared at you from across the roof you knew that he wasn’t convinced.

“Maybe you’re right,” Jeonghan said softly. He shifted next to you, laying down directly beside you so that your shoulders brushed. “I guess we’ll see.”

You two fell in silence again, mostly focused on just looking up at the sky. You wondered idly what Jihoon was doing right now. He was always so cooped up inside, it would probably be nice for him to get out for once, to look at the sky.

“We should probably get off this roof,” you said. “Before someone realizes we’re missing.”

Jeonghan sighed.

“I think we should just stay here for a second,” Jeonghan replied. “Up here things actually make sense.”

You mirrored his sigh.

“Yeah, they do.”

“I ought to punch Sungsoo in the face.”

You glanced up from your pancakes to look up at Chae who was staring at her phone in annoyance. You shot a confused look at Nari who shrugged, and Ai mirrored the action. All three of you looked back at Chae.

“Yeah...” You said hesitantly. ”I mean, none of us really agree with him on what he does-”

“But this?” Chae demanded. She waved her phone wildly as if any of you could see what was on it. “It crosses a line.”

All three of you stared at Chae, not sure what to say. She looked at you suddenly, her face red.

“How on earth does that idiot think you are supposed to promote two songs at one time?”

You blinked, staring at Chae with what you could only imagine to be a stupid expression on your face.

“What?”

“Haven’t you seen the release date for your single with Jihoon?” Chae asked. You shrugged.

“I’ve been trying not to stress about it while we try to choreograph,” you replied.

“It’s the third of November,” Chae replied.

Your eyebrows strewn further in confusion.

“Okay?”

“Wait-” Nari blurted. “I get it now.”

You turned sharply towards her.

“What? What’s the third of November?” You asked.

“That is our mini album debut date.”

You blinked.

“What?” You said, humor laced in her voice. “That can’t be right because that would mean-”

“You’re promoting two songs for one promotional period.”

You stared at Chae.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

You didn’t know what to say.

“Okay,” you finally settled on. All three of your group mates looked at you.

“Okay?” Chae demanded. “What does that mean. You have to do something about this. You have to argue with him about this. Move your debut of the single with Jihoon. Why is he acting like it’s so time sensitive?”

You thought back to when Sungsoo had showed you that article. You read over it in your mind, remembering how it had detailed Jihoon. At the time, you had thought it was harsh. Ridiculously cruel and at the time you had been as anti-Jihoon as it got. Now that you knew him, now that you were friends?

It took just one wrong move for that reporter to decide to release that article. It took one click for someone to ruin Jihoon’s career entirely.

“I’m sure that Sungsoo has his reasons,” you finally said. “How hard can it be to promote two songs during one promotional period?”

“I heard you’re doing something stupid.”

You looked up from the video of you and Jihoon dancing together. You two had finally gotten the final choreography down. Now you just had to practice it, and nitpick it, and make it perfect.

“Something stupid?” You asked. “No, I’m all dry of stupid. I used all my stupid up on hating you.”

Jihoon’s head quirked to the side as he looked at you, the corner of his lip turning up. You looked back down at the video, your face reddening a little. You liked being able to make him smile, much more than you had liked to make him upset.

“Amazingly it seems you have learned to do other stupid things,” Jihoon replied.

You pulled your legs underneath you and looked up at him, leaning back on your hands.

“Yeah?”

“Sungsoo is forcing you to promote our single at the same time as our groups comeback?” Jihoon asked. “That’s stupid.”

“It’s certainly new,” you replied. “And I’m sure it will be tiring but I wouldn’t say stupid.”

“Do you realize that means you will be doing two stages a day for weeks?” Jihoon asked. He shook his head. “No, three stages a day, because you’ll be promoting a b-side for your mini-album won’t you?”

You nodded which just made an expression of frustration cross his face.

“Why are you being so nonchalant about this?” He asked.

“Why not?” You replied with a shrug. “I like to work.”

“I’ve seen your comeback for your group. It’s too high energy, you have all been working on it for months and yet you’re still about ready to collapse after doing it full energy.”

“And?”

“And our dance is high-energy, and precise vocals. You’ll be promoting two songs a day that leave you exhausted.”

You shrugged.

“I could stand to lose a few pounds. It will be good for me.”

Jihoon’s expression did not change. “You’re like talking to a brick wall,” he said bluntly. “I thought maybe your stubbornness towards me was just a way to make me angry but I guess you’re just always like this.”

It had been a while since you had annoyed Jihoon, so the comment sent a ping of discomfort through you. He was right, you were stubborn. You weren’t mad that he had said it. No, there was something else there.

“It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Your health is a big deal to me.”

You just didn’t like to disappoint him, you supposed.

“It’s just one promotional period, seriously Jihoon, I’ll be fine.”

“Do you know what people are saying about me?” Jihoon asked. “The other guys keep insinuating that I should be able to convince you to change the promotional period of our single.”

“Well, you can’t,” you replied pointedly.

“Right. So I went to Sungsoo.”

Your heart stopped and that article flashed itself across your mind. You got to your feet suddenly, grabbing Jihoon by his wrist.

“You shouldn’t bother Sungsoo,” you blurted without really thinking about it. “Don’t you know that he’s doing this for you?”

Confusion shot through Jihoon’s eyes, causing you to drop his wrist.

“... For us?”

You weren’t very convincing.

“He said no,” Jihoon said bluntly. “So, as your fake boyfriend, I’m coming to you. Stop this madness before it starts.”

“There’s nothing to stop! The dates were already released. Our fans will be upset if the date changes,” you argued back. “Just drop it Jihoon, you’re making this out to be more than it is.”

“I'll turn off the computer.”

You stared at Jihoon.

“As fair as that is-”

“What kind of fake boyfriend do you take me as!” Jihoon protested. “I don’t want this. I don’t want to be the kind of boyfriend that judges you for your choices and expects you to do things just because I say so.”

He turned away from you.

“But that’s the kind of boyfriend that everyone expects you to have,” he said. “Dotting and attentive, so that’s what I have to be.”

Your mouth fell into an ‘o’. You stepped towards Jihoon, peaking around his shoulder.

“Is that what this is about?” You asked him. “You’re worried about being the kind of boyfriend that you think people expect me to have?”

“You know how much people talk about you when you aren’t around?” Jihoon asked, catching your gaze. “You’re perfect.”

You blinked.

“Perfect at fucking things up, you mean.”

Jihoon sighed, shaking his head.

“Perfect. Just in general.”

Jihoon waved his hands in the air.

“I don’t know, you’ve always been like that. Like, nice to everyone, huge smile, always willing to help people out. Everyone at Pledis knows that if they need something done and they need help doing it they should knock on your door,” Jihoon said. “Everyone loves you, everyone trusts you.”

“Not everyone-”

“Why does Jeonghan prefer you to like everyone else at Pledis?” Jihoon asked suddenly. “Why aren’t you fake dating Jeonghan? Why aren’t you real dating Jeonghan?”

“Woah-” You said. “You are all over the place-”

“He’s dotting, spends all his time with you, he’s always buying you food-”

“I’ve never wanted to date Jeonghan,” you interrupted, your eyebrows scrunching together. “Why are you bringing this up?”

“You two are just so close,” Jihoon said with a sigh. “You hated me when you first met me but you met Jeonghan and you two became best friends.”

You rolled your eyes.

“We aren't best friends,” you argued, even though… You kinda were. “My relationship with Jeonghan is...”

You trailed off, your brain trying to label you and Jeonghan’s relationship as something that made sense.

“You don’t want the same relationship with me as Jeonghan does,” you finally settled on.

“Yes I do,” Jihoon blurted. “I want to know you. Everyone else at this stupid company knows you in this different way but you just hang out with me because you have to. I wish...”

He trailed off.

“This is stupid. Do what you want, I don’t care just... Forget we had this conversation okay?”

You stared at him and for a while it was completely quiet between the two of you. He looked at you.

“Let’s get back to practice.”

“Would you call me emotionally stunted?” You asked.

“Undoubtedly,” Jeonghan agreed. “Why are you suddenly asking now?”

You glared at Jeonghan.

“Do you think our relationship is normal in anyway?” You asked next.

“If you have to ask that in a relationship it’s not normal,” Jeonghan replied bluntly. He glanced over at you, offering you the half of the sandwich he wasn’t eating. You sighed and took it.

“What does it mean if a man brings up your relationship with another man and says he wishes he had that sort of relationship with you?”

Jeonghan’s eyes narrowed.

“I feel like you answered the question in that question.”

You let out a loud groan and let yourself fall to the ground, the sandwich falling out of your hand. Jeonghan made a small sound of protest but you ignored him.

“I don’t get it,” you replied. “I was awful to him. How could he still like me? How could he want a friendship with me? How could he want a relationship like you and I have with me?”

“He likes you,” Jeonghan insisted. He grabbed your wrist and pulled you to sit up. “He likes you, and you just ruined half of a perfectly good sandwich.”

“He can’t like me, I-”

“He’s jealous,” Jeonghan interrupted. “He’s jealous because you’re stuck in a fake relationship with him and I’m still the one that you eat sandwiches on the floor with at four in the morning.”

“But we’re...” You felt frustrated. “Jihoon doesn’t want sandwiches on the floor with me at four in the morning. We’re just faking a relationship while trying to figure out what a friendship looks like for the two of us.”

“Have you never heard the enemies to lovers trope?” Jeonghan asked. “Isn’t it a dream? Someone who has seen you at your worst and still wants you?”

You weren’t sure what to say about that. You were quiet for a little bit, looking at the sandwich that had fallen on the floor. You picked up the top piece of bread and tore a piece of it off, putting it in your mouth.

Was that even what you wanted?

“Jihoon is too good for me,” you said finally. “He was trying to be the kind of boyfriend other people think that I need. How could he think about someone who hated him like that?”

You put another piece of bread in your mouth.

“He called me perfect.”

“He’s in love with you,” Jeonghan said with a shrug.

You wanted to scream at Jeonghan.

“He’s not in love with me,” you blurted. “He can’t be in love with me.”

“He liked you from day one, y/n,” Jeonghan said. “What more can I say?”

There was so much more that Jeonghan could say to make what he was saying make sense but he didn’t do anything of the sort. Instead the conversation switched to a different topic, and the subject of Jihoon didn’t return for the rest of the night.

And thus launched one of the most awkward phases of your relationship with Jihoon you would ever have. The no-talking because you were disagreeing phase.

When you had fought with friends in the past it had been different. Less frustrating. You knew the reason you two were fighting in the past. You weren’t sure why you were fighting with Jihoon. Not really.

You knew that you were annoyed at Jihoon for calling you perfect when you weren’t.

And you knew that Jihoon wasn’t talking to you.

He had postponed dance practice indefinitely, and when he saw you in passing...

You looked up when you heard his voice, your heart skipping a beat when you realized this would be the first time you had seen him this week. The debut was coming quickly, you knew you needed to say something to him. Your eyes shot to him, your brain completely forgetting what the topic of conversation was with Chae.

“Hey-” you said, taking a step towards him.

Jihoon glanced at you, up and down, and then turned to Soonyoung.

“You were saying?”

Soonyoung looked at you, his eyes wide, and apologetic.

“Oh, uh-”

Jihoon brushed past you, his shoulder bumping into yours. You felt warmth flooding your face, suddenly realizing that this was what it was actually like to be ignored. Not what you had thought it was before.

You tried so hard to get his attention, not realizing just how much you wanted it until it was gone. At least when you had hated him he said words to you. Now he made any excuse to even be out of your company.

Never a word to you. Always a glance at you and then just as soon as you had approached him he was gone.

You felt that sick feeling in your gut all over again. Not hatred but something similar to guilt.

If he thought you were so perfect why was he doing this?

“You and Jihoon fighting?”

Concern crossed your face as you glanced at Chae. The others were busy, looking over the dance practice video to see what still needed to be fine-tuned, but you and Chae had gotten a message from Sungsoo to check the upcoming schedule, so you two were occupied with something else entirely.

“Is it that obvious?”

“Not obvious,” Chae corrected. “Noticeable.”

You tried not to make it obvious just how worried that made you. You hoped nobody else picked up on your two’s behavior. You tapped your finger against your leg. Well, other than all of Seventeen who surely had noticed something was up.

“What’s up?” Chae prodded. You sighed.

“Same old,” you replied. “I did something stupid, and I’m the only one holding myself accountable for it.”

You chewed nervously on your bottom lip.

“Did you...” You trailed off. “Do you think Jeonghan and I have a weird relationship.”

Chae’s mouth dropped into an ‘o’.

“He’s jealous,” she said. Your eyebrows strewn together in frustration.

“To be jealous he would have to...” like me like that in the first place. “He’s not jealous Chae. I don’t know why he isn’t talking to me but it isn’t because of jealousy.”

Chae sighed.

“You’re impossible. I bet Jeonghan has been saying the same thing and you just keep saying the same weak argument.

“Hey-”

“Jihoon can’t ignore you forever.”

You sure hoped she was right.

You felt like you were going crazy waiting for him to start talking to you. It had been such a long time since you had felt something like this. When people stopped talking to you for whatever reason you were hardly that bothered by it. You knew that those people cared about you and that they would return, and if they didn’t return they didn’t care about you and you didn’t want them in your life anyways.

God, you could feel something tightening in the pit of your stomach. Why did it bother you like that? Why couldn’t you just move on and rationalize that if he wanted you in his life then he would talk to you again soon?

You could feel someone’s eyes on you as the song that you and Jihoon had written started to play again but you ignored it, figuring it was just Soonyoung coming in the studio to practice Seventeen’s choreography to their upcoming comeback.

Maybe even after this run through you could join him and give him advice on how the dance should go and give input on what you liked and didn’t like from what he was choreographing. One thing you really liked about Soonyoung was how serious he got about his choreography. You were used to seeing him mess around with the boys but he was never like that with when it came to his dances.

You hit the bridge of the song and a frown flashed across your face as you tried to imagine Jihoon being there with you. The choreography for this part was really dependent on Jihoon being there.

And just as you were thinking that, a hand found its way to your hip. You looked up in surprise, only to find that Jihoon was standing right there. He flashed you half a smile.

“Keep it up,” he encouraged.

It was a little clumsy, but that was only to be expected considering the fact that you two had only practiced together when making the choreography, but it was clear that just like you, Jihoon had been practicing without you.

The song came to an end, ending with Jihoon’s hands on your hips and your faces so close that you could kiss if you leaned just a little bit further. You felt your face warm up for reasons other than the exertion of the dance. You willed yourself to maintain eye contact with Jihoon.

“Hey,” you breathed uncertainly. “Does this mean...”

You wondered if you should even acknowledge that he had been ignoring you.

“You’re talking to me again?”

Jihoon pulled away from you, shrugging slightly.

“We have to practice the dance together.”

When you had spent all of your time hating Jihoon you had been so quick to getting frustrated at him. It was so easy to give him a piece of your mind and make him realize that something he had done had annoyed you.

What happened to the you that was mad at him for not talking to you?

“I’m sorry,” you said hesitantly.

Jihoon’s eyebrows shot up.

“Why are you sorry?” He asked. “I’m the one who just stopped talking to you.”

“But it was because...” You trailed off. “Okay, honestly I don’t know why you did.”

“When you’re upset you go to Nari,” Jihoon said. Your eyes widened slightly in surprise. How did he know that? “When you need advice you go to Chae. Ai is someone who can always make you laugh and when your bored and need someone to give you company you go to Jeonghan.”

Jihoon sighed.

“We’re fake dating and that’s the only reason that you see me,” Jihoon said. “It’s the only reason that you started to look at me with anything but malus in your eyes. It’s the only reason we are friends.”

“It’s a good thing,” you said. “We’re friends.”

“Barely,” Jihoon mumbled. “I just...”

There was a dull pounding in the back of your head that you just couldn’t ignore. Something about this situation made you focus even more on the tightening in the pit of your stomach.

He’s in love with you.

Your eyes widened in realization and your hand shot up, covering Jihoon’s mouth with your hand. Jihoon’s eyes widened at the sudden contact.

“Don’t-” You felt nervous. What were you supposed to say right now? Your heart was pounding in your chest so loudly you were worried that he was able to hear. You stuttered over nothing for a second, trying to find the right words. “Let’s practice,” you finally said, a nervous smile crossing your lips as you lowered your hand from his mouth.

Jihoon frowned slightly.

“You just want to...?”

“We have to practice,” you said. “And afterwards we can...” Your heart beat even harder in your chest, that gut wrenching feeling replaced by something akin to butterflies. “I’ll make more time for you. You won’t be Ai or Jeonghan, but you’ll be Jihoon. A friend for different circumstances then the others.”

A smile flickered across Jihoon’s face.

“I don’t really get you,” he said. “Do you hate me or what?”

“It’s to be determined,” you joked lightly.

With Jihoon talking to you again things were easier and awful all at the same time. For one you got back into the groove of trying to figure out where exactly you and Jihoon lied in your relationship. Despite not really being sure of how you felt about Jihoon you found yourself wanting to see him a lot and practices in the dance room simply weren’t enough.

You found yourself showing up in Jihoon’s studio more and more.

“Y/n!”

You smiled, peeking around the door of Jihoon’s studio to Mingyu. He leaned up on the couch, setting his switch on the coffee table.

“Hey Gyu! You were just the person I was hoping would be here!” You jumped around the door, holding your own switch in the air. If someone’s eyes could sparkle, Mingyu’s did in that moment.

“Jihoon, you have the best significant other.”

He excitedly pulled his legs underneath him and gestured for you to join him on the couch. You closed Jihoon’s studio door and rushed over to Jihoon.

“Hey, babe,” you said softly. Jihoon glanced at you like he hadn’t really noticed you had entered but you could tell by the way he was holding his pencil, much too tightly, that he had noticed you.

After your conversation about Jeonghan and your relationship you had learned that Jihoon got jealous very easily. It was never harmful, he didn’t tell you not to hang out with people and he was never mad at you for talking to others over him. But sometimes it made him tighten his jaw, or flex his fingers, and you knew that something was bothering him.

You let your hand fall into his hair and you gave him a short kiss to his cheek.

He had every right to be jealous, you thought. After all, you weren’t his.

Jihoon’s lips flickered into a smile and he glanced up at you.

“Wasn’t expecting you,” he said softly. He quirked his head up a little towards you. You couldn’t help the way your eyes flickered to his lips. You wanted so badly to just lean forward and...

You turned your head from him, as quietly as you could blowing out of your mouth trying to rid yourself of your suddenly very rampant thoughts.

“I thought I would swing by,” you said. You cleared your throat and wandered over to the couch with Mingyu. “Someone’s got to help Mingyu keep you company.”

You got used to Jihoon’s little studio. More than you had ever thought you would. You were starting to know every nook and cranny. You found yourself being comfortable all over his studio. The floor, the couch, his desk. Your mind echoed of a time when Jihoon would be mad at you for making yourself so comfortable there. But now Jihoon didn’t even blink twice when he found you on his desk.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Jihoon asked. He spoke like he had no clue that you were going to be there, but he handed you a little takeout container.

“Just thought I’d come see you,” you replied cheekily. Jihoon pressed his lips into half a smile, and he leaned in towards you. He paused before he had really closed the distance, something flickering in his eyes.

“It’s good to see you,” he said softly.

There were times when you forgot what it had been like to dislike him. Forgot how your stomach had churned just at the sight of him. Now when you saw him something else fluttered through your stomach, making you feel a little lighter than usual.

And that was the downside to all of this. The downside to perkily saying hi to him when you bumped into each other in the morning. The downside to being up at three in the morning eating noodles on his desk. The downside to thinking about him every morning when you woke up and texting him when you were bored at practice.

That feeling in your stomach. The one that had butterflies fluttering through you. Why did he make you feel like that?

That light feeling. You didn’t get it.

“We have to go on a date tonight,” you said excitedly. “Sungsoo says that the media is getting comfortable with us- That's why we don’t have to go on so many anymore- but even still we have to go on some.”

You leaned forward, placing your hands on his desk as you turned your head to look at him.

“We wouldn’t want break up rumors.”

“We’ll have a lot of interactions during our promotional periods,” Jihoon mumbled. “We don’t have to constantly go on these stupid public dates.”

You noted that even as Jihoon spoke, he had a smile on his lips.

“You don’t seem like you hate it that much,” you observed lightly. You turned around, your back to his desk now. “Besides it’s kind of fun to hang out in public. Your studio gets stuffy.”

Jihoon’s eyebrows rose.

“I thought you liked my studio.”

You hummed.

“What’s not to like?” You said, letting your tone of voice come off as a little sarcastic. Truth be told you had no issue with his studio. You loved the place, it was like a second home. But you were also buzzing at the idea of going on another date. “Where should we go?”

“Is it a crime that I rarely have patbingsu?” You asked as you two sat down with the dessert. He glanced up at you.

“I rarely have it too,” he commented. “I think it’s a good treat every once in a while.”

You hummed and took a scoop from the bowl, leaning forward as you put some into your mouth.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” You asked. You noticed some people had crowded around to see you both- some people were taking pictures from a distance- so you switched to sitting right next to him, as if you wanted to hide yourself. You two weren’t well disguised today- no hats, masks on your chins- but you didn’t really need to be anymore.

You weren’t pretending it was a secret now. This was just so that you could act a little shy to be with him. You leaned close to him.

“Kiss me?” You asked. You watched color spread to Jihoon’s cheeks as he looked at you.

“You’re shameless aren’t you?” He murmured. He leaned closer to you and as he closed the distance you couldn’t shake the airy feeling in your body. You felt your breathing coming a little shorter, your heart beating faster.

You ducked your head away from Jihoon, a nervous laugh leaving your mouth.

“I’m just teasing you,” you mumbled, noting that you sounded a little breathless as you spoke. You turned your attention back to the patbingsu and raised a scoop of it to Jihoon’s face. “Don’t you think the media will think it’s cute if they catch pictures of us feeding each other?”

“What if we all had a movie night this weekend?” Ai suggested, bouncing excitedly on the balls of her feet. You glanced over at her as you stretched your arms across your body.

“We have a movie night every week,” you said with a laugh. “You want to have another one?”

“Well,” Ai drawled out. “It’s just- I've been thinking. The girls and I don’t know Jihoon that well at all. What if this movie night you invited Jihoon?”

The simple mention of Jihoon had warmth rising to your cheeks and it didn’t go unnoticed.

“Ooh,” Chae teased. “Looks like our favorite couple isn’t fighting anymore.”

“You and Jihoon were fighting?” Nari piped in suddenly, surprise riddled over her face. You sighed, your face burning even hotter.

“A little,” you replied. “But we’re on the same page now, it’s all good.”

You looked back up at Ai.

“I can ask Jihoon if he wants to join us but he’s probably busy. You know how he is,” you said. Ai pouted at the concept that Jihoon might not come but either way you all agreed to plan the night.

You were honestly surprised by Jihoon’s answer.

“Oh, by the way, Ai and the others wanted to invite you to a movie night with us this Friday. Do you want to come?” You asked. “I told her you probably wouldn’t be able to so no pressure-“

“I would love to come,” Jihoon interrupted, he glanced over at you, his eyes a little wider than usual.

“Really?” You asked. “You really can say no.”

“I…” Jihoon trained off, eyebrows strewn together like he had been about to explain why he wanted to come. “I have the night off, so why not.”

And that’s how you ended up sitting smushed between Jihoon and Chae on the couch of your place, with the first Iron Man film playing in front of you.

Ai had done some research into the movie night as to make Jihoon enjoy it as much as possible. She got savory snacks she knew he liked and picked Iron Man because she knew he was a fan.

You idly thought she would make a better significant other to Jihoon then you did.

“Hey,” you whispered, leaning towards Jihoon. “Thanks for coming. It means a lot to Ai.”

Jihoon glanced at you, and you could just make him out in the soft glow of the television screen. He was so close to you.

“I’m happy to be here,” Jihoon replied.

It was weird really, you had grown so prone to spending time with Jihoon even behind closed doors. You wanted to justify it by comparing it to your relationship with Jeonghan but you couldn’t help but admit that what you said to Jihoon had been true. It was different.

You didn’t miss Jeonghan in the same way that you missed Jihoon when he wasn’t around. You didn’t have this urge to be as close to Jeonghan as possible. You didn’t look at Jeonghan and think that he looked really handsome with the light of the screen illuminating his face. And most notably, you didn’t get this unshakable feeling in your gut. Those stupid butterflies.

“We should…” you trailed before you could finish. Were you really about to say this? “We should hold hands. Ai would think that’s really cute.”

You thought Jihoon would brush it off, but instead, you felt his fingers intertwining with yours. He gave you a small squeeze.

“We’re starting to make a good fake couple,” he mumbled.

You nodded, suddenly thinking it was really hot in the room.

“We are.”

“You’ve got a lot going through that thick brain of yours,” Jeonghan observed. “It’s not really like you to keep it bottled up to yourself.”

You flipped over on Jeonghan’s bad, glancing up from your phone.

“It is actually exactly like me to keep it bottled up,” you corrected. “Do you know me at all?”

“Correction, you don’t tend to keep it from me,” he stated. “What’s going on in the Jihoon chapter of your life? Let me enlighten you with my unending knowledge of relationships.”

You grunted.

“You’re so fucking cocky,” you murmured. “It’s just…”

You trailed off, not really sure how to proceed. You knew that the solution to your raging thoughts was right in front of you, staring you in the face, but you didn’t want to acknowledge it either way.

“Do I have to say it?” You finally said. “You know. I know you know.”

Jeonghan’s lips quirked up into a small smile.

“You’ll believe it better if you say it.”

“Things have just been different with Jihoon recently. I’ve been really liking spending time with him, and getting butterflies when he says or does certain things, I’ve been wanting to be close to him. I just… I don’t know what it means I guess.”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes.

“You know what it means,” he drawled lightly.

You sighed.

Why did you ever bother lying to Jeonghan?

“I like him,” you relented. “ I like him. How did this even happen?”

Jeonghan shrugged.

“It could be worse,” he said unhelpfully. “It could be unrequited. Don’t tell me you think it’s unrequited still.”

You felt yourself bite down lightly on your bottom lip.

“No…” You admitted. “You were right. He likes me.”

Jeonghan nodded knowingly.

“It doesn’t have to be complicated y/n. Just tell him you like him. Enemies pretending to date? That’s complicated. Two people who like each other confessing. That’s easy.”

It was eating you from the inside out to think that you needed to confess to Jihoon. You’d never had to do this before. Had to tell someone that you liked them. You felt your heart pound in your chest every time you were around him. While you two were eating, or while you were listening to his music or when you two were just on one of your fake dates.

What if you were wrong after all? What if Jihoon didn’t actually like you?

Sure he got shy when you were teasingly flirting with him, and you felt the way his face burned when you kissed him on the cheek but even still...

You resisted the urge to shove your face into the notebook you were writing in as your mind reminded you of all the reasons you knew that Jihoon liked you.

You were being stupid. A coward.

“Are you okay?”

You looked up, surprised to find that Jihoon was staring at you from across the room. You shifted the way you were sitting on the couch.

“Me?” You asked as if there was anyone else in the room he could be talking to. You felt stupid. Why had you said something so stupid? “I’m fine.”

Jihoon stared at you, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Something’s bothering you,” he said softly. “I... I can just tell.”

You sighed. You should stop getting close to people. It meant that they could tell things you didn’t want them to know.

“I know that you have a crush on me.”

And it meant that you cared enough about them that you didn’t want to lie.

“Me?” Jihoon blurted, his eyebrows rising. He opened his mouth to deny what you were saying but as he did his cheeks reddened.

“I also have a crush on you,” you said before he could say more. Jihoon’s mouth gaped for a second, and then it closed. His eyebrows furrowed.

“But you... You hated me.”

“Past tense,” you agreed. “For the stupidest reasons.”

“Are we going to fight about this again?” Jihoon asked, pursing his lips in concentration.

“No?” But it sounded like a question. You got to your feet and walked over to Jihoon. “We don’t have to think about this.”

You placed your hands on Jihoon’s chairs arm rest, trapping him in his chair, you leaned close to him.

“I like you and you like me. It doesn’t have to be complicated.”

Jihoon’s cheeks blazed red and you would want to make fun of him if yours didn’t match.

You moved so that you were straddling Jihoon, loosely draping your arms over his shoulders.

“Do you like me?” You asked softly. Despite how embarrassed Jihoon looked his hands lowered to your hips.

“I do really like you,” he admitted. “The closer I got to you, the less you hated me the more I remembered why I’ve always really liked you. I’ve never actually entertained dating. When do I have the time?”

A smile flickered over your lips at the comment.

“But you make time for me. Even when you didn’t like me. You don’t expect me to always have time for you. I want to make this real.”

Jihoon cleared his throat.

“And you...?”

“I think I really want to kiss you,” you whispered back. You waited for some sign that Jihoon wanted that too, and this time the seeking of affirmation that you wanted to kiss Jihoon felt differently from before. Your heart was racing so quickly you could barely think about anything but him. He nodded.

“Okay,” he murmured. His head tilted towards you ever-so-slightly and you took that as your consent to lean forward and press your lips to his.

You and Jihoon’s kisses before had always been god awful. Your lips moved awkwardly against each other, your hands didn’t know where to be, you felt disgust spread through your chest but this time it was completely different. You had seen a million movies and read a million books about how when you kissed someone you truly liked you could feel a spark spread through your body and you knew that you were kissing someone you truly liked.

You felt yourself press closer to Jihoon, your chest closer to his then it had ever been. You could feel yourself too, deepening the kiss, so lost in it that your hips were shifting slightly in his lap. After a minute or so Jihoon’s fingers tightened on your hips, holding you still.

“Uh, y/n,” he mumbled. His voice was gruff as he spoke and it made you pull back enough that you could see his face.

“You’ve got to stop moving your hips like that,” he said softly. You raised an eyebrow.

“Why-”

And that was when you felt exactly why. Your face blazed red when you realized that you could feel something very hard pressing against your body. You looked down, mostly out of embarrassment.

“Oh,” you said.

“We should probably stop,” Jihoon said unsurely. “I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I’m not uncomfortable,” you said quickly.

“I mean, what are you going to do if we stop,” you mumbled. Jihoon sucked in a breath.

“I can just wait it out.”

Silence fell between the two of you.

“Can I keep kissing you?” You asked finally, your voice soft. Jihoon pressed forward, bumping the tip of his nose to yours.

“Yeah,” he mumbled. “If you want.”

You pressed your lips to his, this time brief and heavy.

“And you could loosen your grip on me if you wanted,” you said into the kiss. “It just feels more natural you know? To move a little while I kiss you.”

“You’re playing a dangerous game,” Jihoon mumbled, his eyebrow raising a little.

“I think I know what I’m getting myself into,” you said back. Jihoon’s head fell ever-so-slightly to the side.

“Are you sure about that?” He asked softly.

You honestly weren’t sure anymore. You couldn’t brush off the way his grip was actually tightening on your hips, and how dark his eyes had gotten as you suggested doing more. You had felt your body heating as soon as you realized that Jihoon’s hard cock was pressed into you (why had you thought straddling him was a good idea?) but the burning in your core had only grown the more that his fingers tightened their grip on you.

Instead of answering your pressed forward trying to kiss Jihoon again, but he quickly stopped you.

“I need an answer,” he insisted firmly. “Because I’m going to take this a step forward if you keep kissing me like that.”

You didn’t need him to explain exactly what he was insinuating doing, but the thought of where he wanted to take this made those nervous butterflies pop up in your stomach again.

“Your studio door is unlocked,” you mumbled lightly.

“I’m sure no one will come in,” Jihoon replied.

“Mingyu?” You brought up.

“It’s up to you,” Jihoon said softly. “I’m not going to do anything you don’t want to.”

His grip loosened on your hips and your eyes widened.

“No!” You blurted. You took the opportunity to roll your hips down on Jihoon’s dick. You bit down nervously on your bottom lip.

“I mean I can help after all,” you mumbled. “Why don’t you let me help?”

Just as soon as you began to roll your hips Jihoon’s hands were back on your hips, a low moan leaving his lips.

“You’re going to help?”

You nodded.

“You’re going to be useful, huh?” He continued. Your face blazed but you nodded again. You weren’t really used to Jihoon making you so nervous, but suddenly you were ready to do anything he told you to.

“Use your words sweetheart,” Jihoon drawled.

“Please Jihoon,” you said, your voice faint. Jihoon leaned forward, his lips brushing yours.

“What was that?” As he spoke his cool fingers dipped under your shirt, dipping beneath the waist band of your underwear. You shivered under his touch, placing your hands on Jihoon’s chest.

“Please fuck me,” you murmured, and that was all you had to say.

When you had disliked Jihoon you had tried to avoid any piece of media that you could about him but one day you had found yourself reading a few fans gushing about what Jihoon would be like in bed. Some people thought he was a bottom, others pushed him as a hard top, or a switch. They went into detail about how Jihoon had proved time and time again that he was very good with his fingers, and that he would be rough when he needed to in order to get out all his pent up energy. You couldn’t say for sure, of course, that Jihoon was or was not a bottom but you could say for sure that right now? In this instance? You were completely his.

He turned his chair so that he could press your back into the edge of his desk, frustration bubbling up from his chest in the form of a grunt as he kissed you. He pulled back.

“You have too much on,” he mumbled. His hands pulled from where they were caressing your skin under your clothes, and he pulled your shirt over your head by its hems. You were quick to help him undress you, unclipping your bra and letting it drop to the ground. You reached forward, pushing at Jihoon’s shirt as you did, pulling it off as well. You two quickly separated until there was a messy pile of clothes on the floor and Jihoon had you pressed against a wall.

“Let’s see,” he mumbled, his hot breath puffing against your neck. He pressed a few kisses to your skin there as his fingers slid across the slit of your pussy. You were hoping that you weren’t too wet- after all you hadn’t been this desperate to fuck someone in a long time- why would you be that horny?

But you could tell by Jihoon’s exhale that your arousal was more than apparent.

“Baby,” he murmured, lifting his eyes to yours. “You’re so desperate, aren’t you? Your pussy needs a cock in it, doesn’t it?”

Your face burned in humiliation at Jihoon’s words but even so you managed to nod at him.

“Please,” you whispered. Jihoon’s lips flickered with a smile.

“I like this side of you,” Jihoon mumbled. “You’re so vulnerable.”

For a second, Jihoon’s expression turned soft.

“You’re that comfortable with me now?”

For some reason, that implication made you even more embarrassed than Jihoon talking about how badly you needed to be fucked.

“Shut up,” you managed to get out. “Thought you were just talking a big game about how badly I needed fucked. What happened to that?”

Lucky for you, Jihoon was extremely amused by your embarrassment. His fingers slid across your slit again, and again, his fingers dipping between your folds a little bit more each time he slid his fingers. He was teasing you, and you didn’t appreciate it.

You reached, forward, intent on touching Jihoon’s dick which was standing very tall and very hard, but before you could Jihoon’s other hand caught yours. He shook his head, chiding you softly.

“Someone’s impatient,” he murmured. “Do you know how long I’ve been wanting to be able to do this to you?” He asked. His hand pulled away from your dripping cunt and he lightly smacked your inner thigh. “Open.”

You immediately spread your legs more for Jihoon.

“There you are,” he said, smiling even larger than before. “You’re so obedient. You always act like such a brat but when it comes down to it you like this don’t you?”

You whimpered as Jihoon’s fingers returned to your slit, going back to teasing you just as he had been before. Your core was burning with the want for Jihoon’s fingers to begin to fuck you to the point where it was almost uncomfortable. You felt your hand twisting around in Jihoon’s grasp so that you could wrap your fingers around his wrist and squeeze. You really didn’t have much patience at all.

“You want to touch yourself?” Jihoon asked. You screwed your eyes shut, shaking your head roughly. Jihoon hummed. “What do you want?”

You hated being teased. (At least, that’s what you kept repeating in your head as your body burned.)

“Your fingers,” you murmured back. You felt your eyebrows furrow and your lips drew together in a pout. Jihoon laughed at the expression.

“Can I get a please?” He teased. You groaned.

“When did our roles switch?” You asked. Jihoon’s fingers slipped between your folds, prodding at your entrance. “Okay, okay. Please Jihoon please.”

He snickered.

“You’re so good when you want to be.”

He pressed his finger inside of you, making the movement as slow and tantalizing as possible. It pulled a whine out of your mouth and your fingers curled against his chest.

“Jihoon you’re a fucking tea-”

Before you could finish Jihoon began to work his finger in and out of you. It wasn’t as slow as it had been a moment before but it certainly wasn’t fast either. Teasing he was still fucking teasing you.

You leaned forward, trying to capture Jihoon’s lips with yours. You wanted friction so badly. Wanted more than just one of his stupid fingers sliding in and out of you. Soft moans- correction whines tumbled from your lips as Jihoon pulled away from you, keeping his distance.

“You’re being annoying,” you bit out, hoping it sounded intimidating. You just sounded pathetic. “You know I want more than this. Least you could do is let me kiss you.”

Jihoon looked up at you, lips barely quirked up.

“You know where we’re going,” he murmured. “Why do you want to rush it so badly?”

You let your pout become more apparent and you were rewarded with a second finger being pressed into you. Your head dropped to Jihoon’s shoulder.

“Jihoon, fuck,” you mumbled. “Can’t I... Just a little... Touch you?”

“Touch me?” Jihoon asked. “You usually just do what you want, what’s stopping you now?”

“What do you think is stopping me?” you blurted. He hummed and pressed a third finger into you.

“You’re being good,” he crooned. “You’ll get rewarded for being good.”

“And that’s what’s stopping me,” you murmured back. You leaned forward again trying to kiss him, but he was still holding you back. “Jihoon-”

“Beg me for it,” Jihoon mumbled. He pressed his three fingers deep into you, making a whimper leave your lips.

“Jihoon,” you whined, actually completely intent on arguing with him, instead you said: “Please. Please let me kiss you. It’s the least you can do. Won’t let me touch you and you won’t give me more, at least let me kiss you.”

“It all comes in time,” Jihoon assured. “But since you asked so nicely-”

He leaned forward, dragging you into another kiss. You greedily pressed into it, enjoying every second of this kiss. You wrapped your fingers around Jihoon’s biceps squeezing as you pressed closer to him. Jihoon began to scissor his fingers in and out of you. You moaned against his lips.

“Jihoon please,” you mumbled. “Let me touch you. Just a little bit. I’ve been good yeah? I don’t beg like this for everyone, please.”

Jihoon nodded and you eagerly reached forward, your fingers wrapping around his dick. You ran your fingers slowly up his girth, coming to his tip. Your thumbed at his slit, enjoying the little moans that tumbled from his lips. You ran your fingers back down to his base, cupping his balls briefly.

“You’re so good,” Jihoon mumbled. Your lips quirked up. You raised your hand back to your mouth and spit into it briefly. You lowered your hand back down to Jihoon’s dick, rubbing your spit across his length.

You felt his cock twitch in your hand.

“I want,” was all you mumbled, and it was all you had to say.

“Want to show me how badly?” He asked. He pulled his fingers from you, slipping them into his mouth and sucking your wetness off of his fingers. You resisted the urge to whine again (you felt pathetic) and dropped to your knees. You wrapped your fingers around his thighs and your tongue flickered over the tip of his cock.

“You trying to get revenge?” Jihoon asked. Your face burned.

“No,” you murmured.

Yes.

You sucked the tip of Jihoon’s tip past your lips, hollowing your cheeks as you worked his cock into your mouth. Your eyes flickered up to Jihoon’s, an action you immediately regretted as his gaze on you was so intense it sent heat shooting straight through you to your core.

You lowered your eyes to his torso and sucked more of his cock into your mouth, working it as far into your mouth as you could. Jihoon didn’t have the biggest cock in the world or anything but his cock was bigger than any you had seen. Longer and thicker and it made your face burn at the thought that this was going to be inside of you soon.

You pushed his cock a little further into your mouth, only to feel yourself start to choke around it. You pulled off of his cock, trying to catch your composure. As you did so, Jihoon’s hand raised to your head.

“You good?” He asked, his voice laced with amusement. You shot him a glare.

“Shut up,” you murmured. You sucked his cock back into your mouth, and this time instead of focusing on deep throating him, you just worked what you could easily work in and out of your mouth. Jihoon’s fingers ran distractingly through your hair as you sucked him off, his lips parted as low moans tumbled from his mouth.

Each moan that left his mouth just sent warmth coursing through you, feeling yourself burn so much again it was making you uncomfortable. You mewled around his cock and lowered one of your hands down to your pussy, pushing two fingers comfortably into yourself.

“Poor thing,” Jihoon cooed. “You’re that desperate to get fucked?”

You popped off of Jihoon’s cock.

“Well, you’re not fucking me, so someone has to.”

Jihoon’s eyebrows rose in surprise, but a smile quickly crossed his face.

“Get up,” he mumbled.

“What if I don’t?” You challenged. “My fingers feel just fine.”

“Don’t be afraid to tell me if I’m too rough,” Jihoon warned. You opened your mouth again to argue with him (him being in charge was bringing back the part of you that always felt the need to argue with him) but before you could Jihoon’s fingers tightened in the strands of your hair and he pulled you to your feet.

Your mouth dropped in surprise as Jihoon pressed you into the wall, one of his hands capturing your wrists behind your back. You felt his cock brush your soaking cunt. You swallowed hard, trying not to push back against him. You wanted his cock in you so badly.

“You okay?” He asked. Your face burned in embarrassment.

“Just fuck me.”

Jihoon’s hands left your hair just long enough to guide his cock into your pussy. He was slow at first, just easing his cock into you. You felt a long whine leaving your lips as he pushed into you. You fingers flexed with the urge to grab onto something, but them being restrained prevented you from being able to do that. Which just made you desperate and impatient for more.

“Please, please, please,” you begged incoherently. “You’re going too slow.”

“You really are so impatient,” Jihoon chided. “I have to make sure I don’t hurt you.”

Jihoon pushed until he had bottomed out inside of you and then he slowly pulled himself out again. His pace was agonizing, but it felt so good regardless. You pushed back against Jihoon.

“You’re not going to hurt me,” you whined. “Faster, please.”

“Jeonghan was right you really do like to beg,” Jihoon commented off-handedly. Your eyebrows rose in surprise, and you glanced back at him.

“Why were you talking to Jeonghan about-”

Before you could finish Jihoon sharply thrusted into you. You cried out, immediately turning your head back to the wall. Your forehead pressed against it as you tried to catch your breath.

“Fuck, Ji-”

Jihoon pulled out and sharply pulled you back on his cock again by your captured hands, making you bounce against his body. You felt your knees buckle a little and you struggled to keep yourself standing.

Jihoon seemed to sense that and reached a hand around your body, placing his hand just under your breasts, holding you in place. He pushed deep inside of you again and began to set his pace. Now that your hands were free you pressed your hands against the wall, trying to keep yourself supported.

“Jihoon,” you blurted. “I can barely-”

“Barely what?” Jihoon asked teasingly. “Barely handle it? Barely stay up?”

You whined in frustration, so Jihoon just hooked his arm around your body, pulling you up, flush against his chest.

“I’m starting to understand why you used to like to tease me so much.”

He pressed his lips briefly to yours.

“You’re so much fun to make squeal.”

As if to prove his point, Jihoon sharply thrusted up into you, making your whole body shake at the impact.

You weren’t even able to put coherent words together as Jihoon began to fuck up into you, his balls slapping against your pussy as he slammed into you. You cried out with each thrust, the longer he thrust into you, the more that you stopped thinking about how embarrassing it was to be naked against him. All you could think about was his dick, and-

“Jihoon kiss me,” you whined pathetically, turning your head so that Jihoon could see your face.

“Oh, you’re so desperate, aren’t you?” Jihoon asked. “But you’ve been so good, you deserve to get what you ask for.”

He leaned forward and caught your lips with his, but the kiss was rougher than it normally was. You couldn’t help the way you panted against his mouth, pressing back against him as if it would make him push deeper into you.

“Jihoon, Jihoon,” you mumbled against his lips. “Need you to cum, please? I’m gonna cum, we gotta cum.”

“Yeah?” Jihoon asked. ”Where do you want me to cum?”

This was the part where you were supposed to turn red, and stammer and dance around what you really wanted.

“Cum inside of me, please, and then keep fucking me. And fuck it into me and just fuck me until I can’t cum anymore and-”

You didn’t have to say more, because as you spoke Jihoon began to spill his warm cum inside of you- You following suit- while your name fell from his lips in a guttural moan. And Jihoon didn’t stop there. As soon as you were finally coming down from your orgasm, he slipped his cock out of you and pulled you over to his desk before bending you over it and sliding back into you.

He fucked you again there until, once again, you were cumming all over his cock and then he dragged you to his couch and fucked you until you were both cumming all over again.

When his cock finally stilled inside of you, you felt like you were going to pass out you were so exhausted.

“That...” You trailed off, your words lost in pants. “That was amazing.”

“Yeah,” Jihoon breathed. He pressed a chaste kiss to your neck.

“You were amazing,” he mumbled. “But, uh, what does it mean when two people fake dating have sex?”

The reminder of what you two actually were to each other made you swallow thickly.

“Uh,” you weren’t sure what to say. “We could be real.”

You felt Jihoon shift against you.

“Real?”

You nodded.

“Really dating.”

You glanced back at him, face red from both the sex and what you were saying.

“That’s what I want.”

A ghost of a smile crossed Jihoon’s lips.

“I want that,” he agreed softly.

Jihoon had insisted you stay in his studio longer but after cleaning up and letting him hold you on the couch for a while you told him that you needed to go. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to stay with him, but you had to be up early, and you knew that you shouldn’t stay too late.

You tidied yourself up a little bit before you left. You combed your fingers through your hair and tried to straighten out your somewhat wrinkled clothes but as soon as you bumped into Jeonghan as you were leaving Jihoon’s studio you knew you were fucked. (Well, in a different way than before.)

Jeonghan raised his hands and began to clap slowly for you as you walked down the hallway towards him.

“Look at you,” he said. “Who knew you had it in you?”

You raised one of your hands to your face, hiding behind it.

“Shut up Jeonghan,” you murmured.

“I’m just surprised is all,” Jeonghan said. He wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close to his body. “I didn’t think you had it in you to confess to Jihoon. Much less fuck him all at the same time.”

You dropped your hand from your face and immediately regretted it when you saw the way Jeonghan was looking at you. That stupid shit-eating grin spread across his lips.

“Did he find out how much of a bottom you are?”

Sometimes you regretted how much you told Jeonghan about yourself. He always found a way to use that information against you.

“What are you doing around here anyways?” You asked, hoping Jeonghan would accept the subject change.

“I actually came to check on you.”

You were lucky.

“Check on me?” You asked, surprise crossing your face. “Why would you do that?”

“Your solo debut and group comeback is in two weeks,” Jeonghan replied. “It’s about time for you to hole yourself up in the dance practice room and completely disappear from the people who care about you.”

You snorted, but even as you did you noted that he was right. The pressure of two promotions in one promotional period had been building up on you. Being with Jihoon tonight had been partly a distraction from how stressed you were beginning to be.

“You worry too much,” you disregarded. “You’re really telling me that you don’t like the break from me?”

Jeonghan snickered.

“Don’t tease me with a good time,” he said teasingly. Then, a more serious expression crossed his face. “But seriously. You’re going to push yourself too hard.”

“I’m not going to push myself too hard,” you said, but you knew that it was a lie, and Jeonghan did too.

“I’ll tell Jihoon,” Jeonghan threatened.

“What’s he going to do?” You asked with a scoff.

“Well, if your hair is any evidence of how well you listen to him-”

You shoved Jeonghan into the wall, making him laugh.

“Seriously, if you need a friend. You’ve got me, okay?”

You nodded.

“I know Jeonghan.”

And thus, you shot into the next era of your life. Soon Kwonyoung, you and the dance room.

The hours you spent training before debut didn’t amount to this. You barely ate, you slept three hours a night and you practiced. Songs on repeat, over and over again, burning the choreography and lyrics into your brain so that there was no error for mistakes.

“You scare me when you’re like this,” Soonyoung said with a shake of his head. “You’re clocking hours in the dance room I’ve never seen before.”

“Just don’t tell Jihoon.”

You laughed when you said it, but you weren’t joking in the slightest. You were going miles to try and make it seem like you weren’t driving yourself too hard.

You pretended like you were going to bed early, and you showered before practices with him so that he didn’t know you had been at it all day and you had threatened multiple people not to rat you out, but sometimes even the most effort wasn’t enough.

“I’m off to bed,” you said, finally standing up from where you had been stretching on the floor.

“Yeah? Me too,” Jihoon replied. “I know we’ve never done this before but maybe you can stay the night with me? It’d be nice to be close to you.”

Your heart skipped a beat in your chest at the suggestion but the gnawing reminder that you needed to practice didn’t even let you entertain it.

“Oh, I promised the girls I would make them breakfast in the morning,” you replied. “Maybe another night? After the promotional period.”

Jihoon hummed.

“Or I could stay at your place, then you could make breakfast and we could have a sleep over.”

Fuck.

“My room is so dirty right now,” you lied. “I would hate to have you in there you can barely walk in it.”

Jihoon stared at you his expression serious and unamused. You sighed.

“Who told on me?” You asked finally.

“Who didn’t?” Jihoon replied. “Your group, Soonyoung, Jeonghan.”

He shook his head.

“Word on the street is that I’m the world’s worst boyfriend.”

You pouted.

“That’s not fair.”

“Well?” Jihoon pressed. “We start promoting in two days now and you haven’t slept more than five hours in two weeks.”

You knew that Jihoon was being highly hypocritical. He spent days straight in the studio when he was really focused on working. You knew that somedays he hardly slept, and his life revolved around his work. You opened your mouth to tell him just that- That he was a hypocrite that he did this all the time, but your words died on your lips.

“You know, you really changed Jihoon.”

You glanced over at Soonyoung, eyebrows furrowing.

“What do you mean?”

“He’s cut down a lot on those behaviors that made him... Jihoon.”

“That sounds bad,” you said bluntly. Soonyoung’s eyes widened.

“No, no it’s the bad behaviors. Never sleeping, staying up in the studio all the time. It’s like he’s that Jihoon we knew from pre-debut all over again. He knocked on my front door and invited me to eat noodles together last night before he went to bed. At 8!”

You stared at Soonyoung.

“That’s not thanks to me,” you replied. “All I’m doing is dating him.”

“Yeah, but it started because you cared enough to make him go home that day. Ever since it’s like he’s been thinking about how him not taking care of himself effects the people he cares about.”

Soonyoung glanced around the room as if someone might overhear him.

“He apologized to Mingyu for blowing him off so much recently.”

Soonyoung shook his head in disbelief.

“He really loves you y/n. He’s willing to do better for you.”

You really hated it when other people were actually good to you. It was so much easier when you didn’t have a standard to meet.

“Okay,” you relented. Jihoon’s eyebrows raised.

“Okay?” Jihoon asked.

“Okay, I’ll stop freaking out over this comeback debut thing,” you replied, your frustration becoming evident as you spoke. Jihoon’s hands raised, seeming to recognize that this was the sort of tone that usually led you two into an argument.

“I’m not saying that you’re freaking out,” he said softly. “I just want you to take a nap.”

His eyes trailed away from you for a second.

“Or just sleep in general. Eight hours.”

“I’m not trying to disregard my health and block everyone out-”

“Well, you’re not really blocking out Soonyoung-”

“I’m just stressed,” you admitted. “And I don’t really know how to deal with stress... So, I just push myself so hard that I don’t have to deal with stress.”

Jihoon nodded knowingly, which made the frustration that was budding in your throat cull just a little bit. The only reason that you were able to even tell him this was because you knew that Jihoon was the same in this regard.

You felt like everyone at Pledis knew that when Jihoon didn’t know how to deal with his emotions, he dug himself into his work. Maybe that was one of the reasons you had hated him so much before. In ways, you saw yourself in him.

“But I really like you,” you mumbled, and again that pressure made you want to pull the words right from your mouth. “So, I’ll do this for you.”

You wondered for a moment if Jihoon realized how much you really hated to say this. It was weird, just how much the frustration was crawling inside of you. Why did this make you so uncomfortable? Wasn’t this the sort of thing that you had always been wanting from a relationship? Someone who pushed you to be a better person.

What about being vulnerable was making it so hard to breath?

Jihoon cleared his throat, dragging your attention right back to him. He gave you half a smile.

“Stay with me tonight?” He asked. “Maybe being with someone will help you a bit.”

You nodded.

“Yeah,” you agreed. “I think it will.”

“Are you nervous?” Ai asked. You glanced over at her, noticing that she was messing with a stray ribbon on her outfit. You smiled softly at her and took the ribbon in your hands, securing it on her outfit.

“Of course, I’m nervous,” you assured. “But we’ve practiced like crazy, we’re going to do amazing.”

“I still don’t know how you’re going to do it,” Ai said, shaking her head. “Two promotions? That’s crazy.”

“It’s not crazy, it’s like a concert with three songs back-to-back and two costume changes,” you said, brushing off the comment. “It’s going to be fine. It’s going to be fun.”

“But-”

Before Ai could say more a hand found its way to your waist, you turned around, smiling at Jihoon who had a concerned expression spread over his face.

“Hey, you go on soon,” he said softly. You smiled gummily at him.

“And we go on soon after,” you reminded him. As you were looking at him, you noticed that whatever they had put on his lips smudged a little. You reached up and swiped it away with your thumb.

“You’re nervous,” Jihoon mumbled. You shrugged off-handedly at the comment.

“I’m sure you are too. But our song is doing really well. I told you it would be better if we worked together on it.”

Jihoon rolled his eyes.

“I only didn’t want to because we could barely interact with each other without arguing.”

You decided to ignore him. Instead, you just stared at him. He looked so good in his stage makeup. You thought eyeliner was an underrated look on him.

You wanted to kiss him so bad but you knew it would ruin your lipstick and his and your stylists would be mad. Besides…

“Places in five,” one of the stagehands said, placing their hand on your shoulder. They looked between you and Jihoon, shaking their head in disbelief at the two of you. “Idols openly dating…”

And then the stagehand was gone. You looked at Jihoon, rolling your eyes in reaction.

“I’ll see you soon,” you said. He nodded.

“Good luck.”

The thing about your dances was energy. The reason you had spent so much time in the studio running both dances wasn’t necessarily to make sure that you did the dance right, though that was part of it. You did them so much so that you would have the stamina to do both with full energy without dying.

Your comeback with your group was called Shimmer. It was poppy and lighthearted. It required the complicated choreography to seem effortless, and it required constant stage presence.

You had always been good at that stuff, but only because you had practiced it so much.

At the end of your performance of Shimmer you were barely winded and getting into costume and new makeup for your next performance only took fifteen minutes.

As you and Jihoon took your places on stage, Jihoon’s hand slid onto the small of your back.

“Ready?” He asked.

“Ready.”

Your song with Jihoon was darker, and less pop teen artist then your other song. It fit your age a lot better, but the steps were just as complicated as Shimmer and the partner work was just that much harder.

But when you and Jihoon ended the dance, inches from each other’s face, a huge smile spread of your lips. You waited a few seconds but before too long had passed you were jumping forward, wrapping your arms around Jihoon’s neck and dragging him into a deep, celebratory kiss.

“To one successful stage! Leading to many others!” Chae said. The four of you cheered in agreement, clinking your shot glasses together. You all took a shot at the same time, the soju spreading warmth through your chest.

You didn’t drink a lot, but when it was for something like this? You knew you had to. You wouldn’t be able to get drunk with your best friends in the world forever.

“You know, you did so well with your stage with Jihoon it was like you hadn’t just performed full energy with us.”

You waved a hand in the air.

“It was easy when I have four of the best dance partners in the world.”

The conversation of the evening quickly turned from talk of the stages that you had just performed, to talk of the stages that you would perform, to petty arguments about dumb movies you had all watched together before.

It was nice to let loose with them. Even with your movie nights it felt like your life with the girls primarily revolved around work. You hardly got time off as idols. It was nice to kick back and relax.

As Ai and Chae were going back and forth about a character that Ai had loved and Chae hated, Nari’s phone went off and she looked down at it. Her smile faded as she stared at the screen.

“Nari, what’s wrong?” You asked. She stared at her phone for another few seconds, garnering Ai and Chae’s attention. All three of you waited patiently for Nari to respond. Finally, she looked up, her eyes wide and trained on yours.

“You and Jihoon are faking your relationship?”

It was like time stopped. Your eyebrows furrowed, and you stood up, trying to lean over the table to see Nari’s phone, but she hid it from you. You felt your heart beating faster in your chest. Had Jeonghan texted her? That was the only thing you could think right now, but that didn’t make any sense. Why would Jeonghan text her something like that? There was no reason to expose you and Jihoon.

“How do you know that?” You asked. Ai’s eyes widened at that.

“Wait, you are?” She blurted. You raised your hand in the air.

“What? No!” You blurted. You felt that familiar feeling of frustration crawling up your throat. “Well, we were, but we aren’t anymore.”

The others in your group just stared at you.

“It’s complicated.”

“Why would you lie to us about that?” Ai asked, and the look on her face broke your heart.

“It wasn’t my choice,” you said softly. You looked around at your friends, noticing they were all looking at you with matching expressions of hurt. “Really! You were the last people I wanted to lie to. I love you guys! You were the first ones that I wanted to tell.”

They all looked away from you, making your frustration claw at your throat even more.

“Guys, seriously. It killed me to not tell you,” you insisted. “Sungsoo didn’t let us tell anyone, the only reason Jeonghan knew-”

“Jeonghan, knew?” Nari blurted.

“Jeonghan didn’t tell you?” You blurted back. Suddenly, a feeling other then frustration of your friends not understanding why you lied to them was filling the pit of your stomach. “Nari, how did you find out?”

“How could you tell Jeonghan?” Chae asked, her voice low.

“Sungsoo!” You exclaimed. “Sungsoo, said that we couldn’t tell anyone because if the truth got out it would ruin our careers.”

“But you hated Jihoon,” Chae pointed out. “Why did you care?”

“I don’t know! I just did. Wouldn’t you care?”

They were all silent.

“Guys, seriously, I’m really sorry. It killed me to lie to you. I wanted you all to know the truth so badly, but I really need to know how you found out that our relationship was fake.”

You directed your attention to Nari again. Her facial expression was softer.

“You really wanted to tell us?” She asked. You nodded.

“Of course I did. You were the first ones I wanted to tell,” you assured. “I love you. All of you.”

It was probably just the alcohol, but suddenly Ai blurted out: “We love you too.” Tears streaming down her face. You breathed out in relief, as the three girls got up, dragging you into a hug. It made you feel better, but only a little bit.

“Nari, I really hate to interrupt this moment, but seriously this could ruin Jihoon’s career. Please tell me that you won’t tell anyone.”

“I mean, I won’t say anything,” Nari replied innocently. “But by tomorrow just about everyone will know.”

She raised her phone into the air.

“There’s an article about it.”

“I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to bring you guys here for this,” Sungsoo said with a heavy sigh. “The truth is out. The article was posted.”

You glanced at Jihoon, but he wasn’t looking at you. His attention was on a small spot on the floor. You wanted to get him to look at you but neither of you had told Sungsoo that you two were actually dating now and it seemed like Jihoon was trying to make it seem as if nothing had changed.

“There’s got to be something we can do-”

“There is,” Sungsoo agreed. “We’ll have to pause your debut promotions. Jihoon, your activities with Seventeen are going to be paused while the company tries to figure out what to do.”

“What?” You blurted. “There’s nothing to figure out! You know that Jihoon doesn’t deserve to be paused.”

“You knew the consequences if this article got out,“ Sungsoo replied, sharpening his gaze towards you. “I’ll be honest Jihoon. Seventeen might become a twelve member group.”

“What?”

You shot up to your feet, knocking your chair onto the floor. Sungsoo closed his eyes in frustration.

“My hands are tied here.”

“No they aren’t!” You glanced at Jihoon, letting your frustration spill out of your mouth with your words. “You don’t have to do that. You can’t do that.”

You looked to Sungsoo and then back to Jihoon.

“Jihoon! Say something- Anything. You can’t just let this happen!” You insisted. Jihoon’s eyes finally rose to yours, a smile crossing his lips.

“You know what I’ve always found endearing?” He asked you, his voice small. “You find it so hard to keep your emotions in check when they’re too intense.”

He stood up, taking your hand in his.

“It’s okay. It’s over.”

“No-” You said. “No. You can’t just give up! Where’s Seungcheol? Someone get me Seungcheol.”

Jihoon squeezed your hand.

“And you’re so stubborn. It’s over. We don’t need to do this anymore.”

Jihoon dropped your hand and you felt your heart drop.

“What?” You asked. He looked away from you.

“I mean, there’s no need to fake anymore right?” He asked. “So we should... Take a break.”

You didn’t get hurt a lot, but this was something completely different then you had expected. You had spent so much time fretting over what kind of things would happen if things got out but you had never imagined that Jihoon would break up with you over it.

“Hey-”

“Thanks for trying,” Jihoon said. He turned away from you and Sungsoo. “See you.”

And before you could say more, he was gone.

You stood there, wordless, staring at the door that Jihoon had just left out of. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening.

You turned back to Sungsoo.

“It seems like you need a second to process,” Sungsoo said. “Your promotions won’t be paused. Your career is fine.”

“I’ll be back,” you said, your voice sharp. “With Seungcheol. And we’ll talk again.”

You placed your hand on the doorknob.

“Don’t go anywhere.”

“Seungcheol!”

You ran down the hallway of Pledis’ dorm rooms, staring at the numbers as you strained to remember which door was Seventeen’s leader.

“Seungcheol.”

You skidded to a stop in front of the one you thought was his. You slammed your palms against the door frantically.

“Seungcheol, Seungcheol, Seung-”

The door pulled open and you came face to face with shaggy brown hair and a tired looking boy. His eyebrows furrowed.

“Hey, what are you-?”

You brushed past him into his room, feeling relieved when you realized that Seungcheol wasn’t alone.

“Jeonghan, thank god.”

“Sure just come in,” Seungcheol breathed. “I’m sure Jihoon won’t mind that his significant other just barged into my room.”

“It’s important,” you replied.

You frantically pulled out your phone, shoving the phone article into Jeonghan’s face.

“The article got out and it’s worse then it was before.”

“Shit,” Jeonghan said, taking your phone from your hand. Seungcheol’s eyebrows furrowed.

“What article?”

“Jihoon and I were pretending to date because I hated him so much that it was going to ruin Jihoon’s career. But then we actually fell in love- Well I fell in love, and now he wants to take a break and-” You sucked in a breath. “Sorry, the break isn’t important. He’s being suspended from Seventeen. Sungsoo said he’s probably going to be taken out of the group completely.”

“What?” Jeonghan and Seungcheol blurted.

You nodded.

“Sorry, I was focusing on the wrong thing,” you mumbled.

“Sungsoo is taking Jihoon out of Seventeen?” Seungcheol repeated. “But he’s one of our leaders- He writes our music-“

“Despite the whole hate thing being my fault, the article that got released is slamming Jihoon’s career not mine.”

“Look, y/n, the solution to all of this is simple,” Jeonghan said, ignoring your partially distracted line of thought.

Now it was your turn to look confused.

“It is?”

“We have to stay on top of things. You need to do something now.”

Jeonghan looked at Seungcheol.

“Doesn’t Mina have a talk show she’s hosting tonight?”

Seungcheol nodded.

“We need y/n on that show.”

“What’s me being on a talk show going to do?” You asked.

“Just tell the truth!” Jeonghan insisted. “Admit it was fake, tell them it’s not now, tell them what you learned. That Jihoon is a great guy.”

“Yeah but that doesn’t stop Sungsoo from kicking him out of the group.”

“That’s what you were coming to me right?” Seungcheol asked. He looked confused… rightfully so, but he also looked determined. “I’ll talk to Sungsoo.”

He raised his phone.

“I’ll call Mina and get you on that show.”

You nodded.

“Okay, okay I should talk to Jihoon,” you mumbled. “Tell him what’s happening.”

You paused, mulling over what you had just said. For a moment, you stared at Jeonghan and Seungcheol. Jeonghan, who had an expression of pure pity written on his face.

There was something to be said about Jeonghan. When it came to you he wasn’t always good at hiding his emotions. Maybe it was something that you two had fed into each other.

Two people great at hiding their emotions, awful doing it to one another. Something that had fed into your relationship with Jihoon. You chewed uncertainly on your bottom lip.

“A break means I don’t need to tell him everything... Doesn’t it?”

You were used to Jeonghan telling you bluntly that you were an idiot when it came to relationship things. He had been so relentless when teasing you about everything with Jihoon.

“You should focus on clearing his name, I think.”

Seeing him tell you something like that so seriously made your heart stop.

“Yeah.”

You glanced at Seungcheol, wondering what he could possibly think of you now that he knew that your screwed up actions were the reason that Seventeen might become a twelve-member group.

You looked away, pressing your eyes tightly shut.

That was a can of worms to open another day. Now, what you needed to focus on was clearing Jihoon’s name.

You had an interview to get to.

“So, you know why you’re here, I know why you’re here. Does your company?”

You laughed along with Mina, but your heart was not on the same track as you. It was still beating out of your chest. You thought for sure that Mina could hear it but she just smiled at you.

“So you and Jihoon? Hate his guts, forced to date. Tell me what that was like.”

“Honestly?” You said. Mina nodded.

“Honestly.”

You could barely hear her over your heart. And it was hot. Why were these studio lights so hot? It was like they were burning your skin.

“I hated it,” you breathed. “Oh my god, can you imagine? You spend years hating everything about this guy. His attitude, the way he talked to you, the way he talked to others, how he spends all his time locked up in his studio neglecting his friends.”

You interrupted yourself to blow air out of your mouth briskly.

“To start I just... We couldn’t stop arguing. I kept picking fights with him. Actually, I always picked fights with him. He just walked in a room and I would find a reason to fight with him.”

“You?” Mina asked, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise. “You would pick fights?”

“All the time. Jihoon would do absolutely nothing just... Breath and I would find a reason to yell at him about something stupid. I was so unreasonable.”

You shook your head.

“No one really thinks I would be like that. But I was, for so long I was just so unreasonable towards him.”

“Yeah but... I mean we’ve all read the article. He deserved it. He must have and you had to fake date him over it!”

“I used to think that he deserved it too,” you said. “I used to think I was this poor tortured person who had to date someone who was absolutely terrible.”

You looked up at Mina.

“You know what the worst part about pretending to date someone is?”

Mina leaned in like you were going to impart on her some huge secret.

“What?” She asked.

“You get to know them,” you replied, with a slow nod. “Fake dating Jihoon was hard but only because I began to realize that I hated him for no reason at all.”

Mina scoffed.

“No reason?”

“None Mina. Jihoon is kind, and thoughtful. The sort of person who looks out for those he cares about. He’s soft-spoken with people he doesn’t know, but he is always looking out for the other trainees.

He’s dedicated to his work. To a fault really. He is so obsessed with being good, showing everyone that he deserves the position he has worked so hard for. I used to think he was cold, but seeing the side of him that I got lucky enough to be shown I know that I was wrong.

I didn’t deserve to get to know him.”

You shrugged, looking down at your hands.

“I was horrible to him. I yelled at him, accused him of awful things. He had a crush on me. I turned someone who had a crush on me against me for no reason at all.”

You looked back up at Mina, giving her a pressed smile.

“I know that article seems incriminating, and Jihoon is easy to hate, but know that he is really easy to...” You trailed off. You missed him. “Jihoon is really easy to love. Take it from someone who used to hate him because I didn’t know him. He is the best person I have ever met in my life, and I love him so much.”

Your trip back to your dorm was lonely. It was cold, and it was wet, and it was lonely.

So when you turned down your hall to your dorm and you saw a familiar figure leaning against the door to your dorm, you felt like you could cry.

Your arms fell limply to your sides, a pout spreading over your face. You stared at Jihoon from across the hall.

“Breaks are stupid,” you whined. Jihoon’s head popped up, and his eyes met yours. A small smile crossing his lips.

“We’ve been on a break for...” He trailed off and glanced at his watch. “Not even twelve hours.”

“And it’s stupid,” you replied. “Really stupid.”

You didn’t wait for Jihoon to give you permission, or to say anything more. You rushed across the hall and threw yourself against him, pressing your face into his chest.

“Stupid,” you mumbled into his chest. He laughed, wrapping his arms around you.

“Hey... Thanks for going on that show,” he said. You nodded.

“Yeah. It’s the least I could do.”

Jihoon was silent again for a while.

“Did you mean what you said on the show?” He asked. You looked up at him from his chest.

“Of course, I did,” you said. You thought back to what you said and suddenly warmth began to spread to your cheeks. You felt like you were burning against Jihoon. Had you really said all those stupid things? “Don’t be dumb Jihoon. Of course I meant every word.”

Jihoon scoffed.

“You always going to be like this?” He asked. “Resort to insulting me whenever you get embarrassed.”

Your face burned and you hid it into Jihoon’s chest.

“Yeah.”

“Good,” he mumbled. “Let’s get you to bed, okay?”

You nodded, and looked up and just as you did, Jihoon pressed his lips to yours, dragging you into a brief kiss.

“I love you too.”

#I hope you guys like this because I like it and it ruined my life for a week so that says something #woozi #woozi angst #woozi seventeen #woozi svt #woozi fanfiction #woozi fanfic #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen fanfic #svt fanfiction #svt fanfic #svt woozi #svt jihoon #svt lee jihoon #lee jihoon fanfiction #lee jihoon fanfic

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ahlovelightaflame · 10 months

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10:43 PM ~ *Lee Jihoon*

Summary: You know that when inspiration strikes, Jihoon will stop at nothing to see the project through. However, things take a turn when he starts to neglect his health. You have to do something about this.

Pairing: Painter!Lee Jihoon X G/N!Reader

Genre: Angstyish Drabble

Word Count: 776

Warning: relationship neglect, personal health neglect, hurt to comfort

Masterlist

Taglist: @foxwinter @rai-scutum

Jihoon was obsessed and you were starting to get worried.

Three weeks ago he was struck with inspiration in the middle of the night and left your shared bed to get to work. At first you were happy for him. He had complained to you before that his art was lacking focus and all he needed was a spark of inspiration. Now that he had it, he refused to leave his studio as he carefully sketched, erased, and redrew.

You would visit occasionally with food. You knew he wouldn’t eat otherwise, struck with the insatiable need to get whatever was in his mind onto the canvas. You also knew he didn’t like to show you what he was working on till it was done. So you would wait as patiently as you could, even though you were practically dying of curiosity. Nevertheless, you knocked on his studio door and waited eagerly while he covered his art and had a picnic with you in the studio.

However things were starting to change.

Soon he was just taking the picnic basket from you and kissing your forehead before retreating into his studio. You tried to talk to him but he wouldn’t hear you. He was far too busy with his art to speak with you. So with a heavy heart, you disappeared down the hall and worried about him until the next meal.

A few days after that began, he stopped opening the door, instead asking you to keep the basket at the door. For a week, you were relieved to see he was eating. But soon he left more and more untouched. Now, your worry is increasing tenfold. He needed to eat. He needed to sleep. He needed a break. But you knew he wouldn’t listen to you.

Nevertheless, you knew what you had to do.

So one night you waited outside of the studio, pacing back and forth, listening intently. Eventually you heard his music turn down lower and you made your move. Taking the spare skeleton key that opened every door in the house, you unlocked his studio.

Your heart ached at the sight before you. The studio was a mess of spilled paint and ripped pages. The tarp was half covering his current piece, but you couldn’t make out what it was. Jihoon was dozing on his stool, one hand propping up his chin and drool starting to collect at the corner of his mouth. He looked just as bad as his studio. His hair was a mess, dark bags accentuated by his pale skin, and his frame thinner than the last time you saw him.

Taking one of his thin blankets, you draped it over his shoulders. Then you got to work organizing his utensils and trash. You knew he worked best in organized chaos, but you couldn’t let him work in absolute filth. You filled the garbage can twice and were about to take a third bag out when he woke up.

Before he could speak, you grabbed the picnic basket full of food and water. Taking his hand, you led him to his couch and put a sandwich in his hand. He was about to protest when you fixed him with a sharp, yet loving glare.

“Eat.”

And so he did.

You finished cleaning up the studio and finished eating with him. When you were done, you wrapped him in your arms, holding him tight. He completely unraveled, dropping almost his full weight onto you. This just proved how exhausted he was.

“Thank you.” He murmured in your ear.

“Of course, my love.” You whispered back, kissing his temple. “I hate seeing you do this to yourself. You don’t deserve this. I know you’ve been struck by inspiration but it cannot get in the way of taking care of yourself. I want to eat with you again and I want to sleep next to you again. Can you do that for me?”

He nodded. “I can do that.”

“Thank you.” You smiled and pulled away to press a soft kiss to his lips. You then added, “Also I need you to take off your shirt.”

Jihoon pulled back, confused and slightly suspicious. “What? Right now? Baby, I love you but I’m too tired for anything-”

You smacked his shoulder. “Not like that, you weirdo! You have paint stains all over the sleeves! I need to do some stain removal before it sets.”

“Alright, alright.” As he began unbuttoning his shirt, he added with a sly smirk, “You know, when I’m feeling better, maybe you and I can-”

“Finish that sentence and I’ll cut up your canvas.”

“You’re evil, you know that?”

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nixtape-foryou · 4 months

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✿ SHOP LOTUSES

The lotus flower, a symbol of purity, overcoming adversity, and rebirth, carries positive meanings across various cultures and religions. Thriving in swampy and unpleasant waters, its symbolism is rooted in the plant's ability to produce beautiful flowers amidst challenging conditions, which remind us that beauty can emerge even when life looks ugly.

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Bouquets = Series | Stems = Oneshots | Seeds = Drabbles | In Shipment = Ongoing

STEMS

On Film by seungcheolownsmyheart (14.0k) || Strangers to Lovers || You don’t think you’re ever going to get used to being in the spotlight. You secretly loathe the feeling that you get when somebody is watching you. You aren’t very keen on people taking your picture when you aren’t looking and don’t want it. But for some reason, whenever you see him, your whole word view flips. After all, what’s the harm in a few measly pictures?

Give Us A Chance by mxxndreams (1.8k) ☆☆ || College AU, Exes to Lovers || After your roommate ditched you at a party you didn't want to be at, your only way to get home is to call someone, and that someone happens to be your ex, Jihoon.

A (K)night & Consequences by mxxndreams (5.3k) ☆☆ || Supernatural AU, Angst || Finally, Y/N gathered the courage to ask him out. What she wasn’t expecting was what would happen afterward...

Second Life by chocosvt (9.2k) || Angst || Freedom was a word that had completely lost its meaning - unable to escape from a toxic relationship, you can only find happiness upon confiding in Jihoon, the spirit of a writer who died a century ago.

#nix reading nook #seventeen #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen fanfic #seventeen oneshot #seventeen recommendations #seventeen recs #woozi #woozi fanfiction #woozi fanfic #woozi oneshot #lee jihoon #lee jihoon fanfiction #lee jihoon fanfic #lee jihoon oneshot

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idyllic-ghost · 1 month

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I've been thinking about woozi aftercare 😫😫 like after an intense session imagine him taking care of you and giving you so many compliments especially if you haven't seen each other in a long time (reader she/her)

ohhh i can see that! i do see him as a very shy person, the type of guy who wouldn't be able to speak his mind in the moment when it comes to love (i do think he's good at communicating love, his songs are his track record, but that he has to sit down and think them over first), but in that moment with so much going on i definitely see it🤭

warnings: not proofed, implied smut, aftercare, MDNI

Your legs are still tangled together, your heavy breaths synchronizing in a harmonious rhythm. He's still inside of you, keeping the close proximity for as long as possible, and your arms are still around his neck - softly playing with his hair. Jihoon lets out a sigh that almost sounds like a whimper as he leans his forehead against yours. The bedsheets are clinging to your sweaty limbs, but you can't bring yourself to start cleaning up.

"Thank you," he whispers before giving you a chaste kiss.

The energy changed in a matter of seconds. Animalistic grunts turned into soft panting, violent movement turned into gentle touches, and the look in his eyes turned from lust to pure love. You had missed this, you had missed him - both of these sides of him. Jihoon had been gone for months on tour, and now he's finally with you again - not just over the phone, or on a face time call, but here with you, in real life.

"Why are you thanking me?" You brush away the hair hanging in front of his face, a playful smile appearing on your lips.

"I don't know..." He huffs and hides his face in the crook of your neck, where he presses a few loving pecks. "You're so beautiful... I just can't believe that you're with me. I've missed you so much."

You wrap your arms tighter around him, the small amount of movement had both of you wincing. He got home two-to-three hours ago, you couldn't quite tell, and the two of you had been at it ever since. It was surprising to see him like this, but you shouldn't be surprised considering the amount of racy photos you had sent him for the past few months. Safe to say, you are more than sensitive right now.

"I've missed you, too," you murmur and then, almost brittle, say, "You don't have to leave soon, do you?"

Jihoon moves to look at you again, his eyebrows slightly furrowed. He reaches out to your face, brushing something off your cheek with his thumb - you don't know if there was something actually there, or if it was an excuse to caress your cheek.

"If you're thinking about that now, I didn't do a good enough job." He frowns, a soft pout forming on his lips - it's been so long since you've seen him act cute.

"I just don't want to fall asleep now if you'll be gone in the morning," you say.

"I won't be gone," he quickly replies. "I'm staying with you- I've taken a few days off."

It's almost cute how much he's trying to reassure you. His flushed face and his messy hair, combined with his wide eyes, makes you laugh - any worry about the next day disappearing completely. Jihoon quiets down and a smile settles on his lips. He presses a final kiss on your cheek before moving to get up.

"I'll clean up, okay? Wait here," he says, as if you're capable to move at all.

"Hurry back," you chirp as you pull the covers tighter around you.

In a matter of seconds, Jihoon comes back with a warm towel to help clean you up. He can't meet your eyes as he brings the towel to your thighs, so different from how he had treated you a few minutes ago. The shyness has apparently not hit him just yet, as he soon crawls back into bed and moves you to lay on his broad chest. One of his hands are on the top of your head, keeping it in the crook of his neck, while the other is on your back - drawing circles on your sensitive skin with his fingers.

"You're so good for me," he says. "I'm sorry for being away so much."

"It's fine," you answer, "as long as I get to experience you like this every time you come back."

"Noted." The chuckle he lets out almost sounds more like a scoff as it is quickly cut off by a yawn.

His fingers subconsciously drum against your back to some unknown melody. You find yourself wanting to ask what song it was - if it was something old, something new, or an old unreleased track - but Jihoon seems keen on not talking about work tonight. You can't blame him.

"I'm happy you're back," you murmur and nuzzle your face closer to him. "The bed is always cold without you."

Jihoon smells like the laundry detergent you told him you usually buy, his skin radiates the kind of warmth that seeps into your soul, and you can hear his heartbeat quicken at your words. You don't have to look at his face to know that he's turned red.

"I should get you a heating blanket," he grumbles in an attempt to hide his fluster.

"I like this more," you counter.

He removes his hand from your back to place over his eyes as a soft breath leaves his lips. You look up at him with a teasing smile and, as you expected, his ears are bright red.

"Jihoon." Your voice gets his attention and he removes his hand from his face to look at you. "I love you."

His flustered expression changes to a warm and much softer one. You shuffle around until your face is right above his, and you press a kiss on his lips. It's short, and Jihoon must think it's too short as he tries to chase your lips when you pull away.

"I love you, too." His eyes stay closed, as if he can't bring himself to look at you or as if he's still expecting you to kiss him again.

You give into him, pressing another kiss on his lips as your hands cup his face. Jihoon smiles against your lips as he gets what he wants, and takes you by surprise as he manhandles you onto your back. His eyes, although not as intense as before, has a lustful spark in them again.

"Again?" you ask incredulously.

"I have to make up for lost time," he argues and presses a kiss to your cheek.

"It's late, aren't you tired?"

"I'm never too tired for you," he murmurs before turning his attention to your body for the umpteenth time that night.

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sluttywoozi · 20 days

Text

Moving Out | ljh x reader

Rating: sfw (still 18+) | WC: ~1.7k | Pairing: ljh x reader | Genre: fluff

Warnings: allusions to sex, mention of birth control, unplanned pregnancy, allusion to possible abortion

Reader Notes: can get pregnant

You’ve always loved Jihoon’s apartment.

It’s spacious yet homey, flooded with natural light from the south-facing windows, and it has the most beautiful original hardwood floors you’ve ever seen. The building doesn’t have many amenities but the elevator works and the owners are a kind older couple who practically adopted Jihoon as their own.

You met them the first time he ever invited you over and you could tell they were being intentionally embarrassing, but his red cheeks and fond cringes only made him more endearing to you. They visited often, genuinely happy to see the both of you and often bringing some kind of food or baked goods for you to share.

You spent more time at his place than you did your own, and they always teased you about it, always asked you when you’d be putting your name on the lease, and you always laughed it off. You didn’t want Jihoon to feel pressured; you knew he appreciated having his own space and you appreciated having yours, but you also knew that you would love it if those two spaces became one.

You weren’t sure if he felt the same until they stopped by about a year into the relationship. They asked you that familiar question and he took the opportunity to answer it, not even looking at you as he said, “When I finally ask.”

Their smiles were too big to be contained and you found yours was the same, your heart skipping in your chest as he glanced over at you and grinned softly, his arm coming up to wrap around your waist and his hand squeezing your hip. They seemed to sense the shift in the air and excused themselves, citing a trip to the farmers’ market and disappearing down the hallway hiding giggles behind their hands.

He gently closed the door behind them and turned to you, his ears flushed and his eyes nervous as his hand migrated to your back and pulled you closer to him.

“I was going to ask you next week, but… Move in with me?”

You didn’t think about it for long. You hadn’t resigned your lease yet and you wanted to wake up with Jihoon every day and fall asleep next to him every night. It was the easiest yes of your life.

He made space for you in both big and small ways. His closet wasn’t full to begin with because he wears much of the same clothes and many of them can be folded instead of hung, so your wardrobe fit without issue. His skincare routine was spartan, just cleanser, toner, and moisturizer, so he didn’t need to clear off the vanity for you to lay out your products, the left side becoming yours and the right side becoming his.

He did have some art up on the walls but he rearranged his pieces to look more cohesive with yours, your styles blending together effortlessly. He wasn’t as attached to his furniture as you were, having bought it new instead of scouting second hand like you did, so he sold the couch and armchair to make room for yours without you even asking.

The biggest change was in his home studio. You told him your desk could fit in the bedroom, that you didn’t mind spending your work from home days in there, especially with the big window and cozy feel. He respected your wish in the beginning, but after one too many times waking up to you typing away at your computer in the midnight hours, he moved his keyboard to the second level of his desk and hauled yours into the studio. He said that if he wasn’t allowed to work in the night, neither were you, that your bedroom was a place for rest and relaxation, and you couldn’t disagree with him.

That change brought you closer together than ever. For some, the repetitive sounds of him creating music could be distracting, but for you, it was music in and of itself. The beats settled into your brain and you found yourself typing in time with them, humming along to the tunes that he sang, knowing he couldn’t hear you with his noise canceling headphones on. Getting to be privy to his process was a privilege, an honor, and even though you didn’t speak much in the time you spent working in the same room, you still felt connected.

Then there were the nights spent cooking together in the chef’s kitchen he barely made use of before you. Jihoon enjoyed cooking, but he didn’t often have time for it, and he didn’t see a reason to put in so much effort if he was just feeding himself. When you moved in, you created a shared pinterest board for recipes and a shared note for meal planning. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it, pinning more recipes than you and constantly suggesting things in the note. Soon enough, you had an arsenal of tried and true dishes that you could rotate throughout the month, adding in some new ones just for variety, just to keep things fresh.

You think you kissed more in that kitchen than anywhere else in the apartment. Lazy makeouts while the pasta was boiling away, quick kisses between chopping veggies, pecks as you passed each other ingredients, smooches as you stirred sauces. You kissed a lot in the bedroom too, of course, but those kisses almost always led to more. The ones exchanged in the kitchen were kisses just for the sake of kissing, just to enjoy each other and show your love.

You shouldn’t discount the kisses in your bedroom, though. Heated, messy, loving, with wandering hands and pounding hearts, Jihoon’s weight on you, your hands in his hair, his tongue in your mouth. Every kiss was different yet somehow the same, overwhelming to the senses but soothing to the soul. And when they would evolve into more, into flashes of heat and his skin against yours and his arms cradling you while your body cradled him, it was raw, it was passionate, it was perfect.

Maybe a little too raw, you think as you tape up the last box with a sigh, your hand coming down to cover your belly where a little foot or elbow just thumped.

You didn’t plan on getting pregnant. But birth control isn’t foolproof, and you can’t exactly take emergency contraceptives when you don’t remember that you forgot a pill or two in the first place.

You figured it out early enough to be able to pursue not having this baby, but you knew that wasn’t an option when the both of you teared up just discussing it. It wasn’t long before you and Jihoon were fully on board, ecstatic about every development and already aching to meet your child.

Which is why you’re here now, feeling that familiar burning behind your eyes as you reminisce on all the days and nights spent in this apartment, the one that started out as Jihoon’s then became yours too. You’ve loved this place for the past three years, but it’s not big enough for your soon to be growing family, and you’ve already put a down payment on a townhouse with rooms to spare in a great school district.

You hear Jihoon’s footsteps down the hall and swiftly blink away the saltwater welling up in your eyes, sniffling slightly and trying to keep your bottom lip from wobbling. He doesn’t ever mind when you cry, but you told him you were done and you refuse to become a liar.

The hormones don’t care, unfortunately.

One more memory puts you over the edge - the first time Jihoon ever told you he loved you. It was in this apartment, about five months after you made things official, and he walked in on you singing one of his songs while you were washing your face. You had suds all over, a fluffy headband holding your hair back, and were wearing the rattiest, comfiest pajamas you owned. He stopped short in the doorway, shook his head, and murmured, “I fuckin’ love you,” through a smile.

You froze in place, your eyes wide and filled with tears, and you asked, “Do you mean that?”

He just said, “Yeah, baby, I do,” before reaching around you to grab his toothbrush and begin his own nighttime routine. The suds were swiftly cascading towards your watery eyes so you had to rinse before you answered him, but as soon as your face was clean and relatively dry, you wrapped your arms around his waist from behind and smushed your cheek to his shoulder. Your voice was wobbly when you said, “I love you too,” and you don’t know what his face looked like but you can still remember how all the tension in his body flooded out, his muscles relaxed upon hearing that you felt the same way.

You hiccup in a sob, your hand pressed to your stomach as you think about how far you’ve come, how many memories you’ve made here.

“Baby, you alright?” Jihoon asks from the doorway, coming closer when you can’t hide the shaking of your shoulders or the hitching of your breath.

“Yeah,” you sound just as wobbly now as you did then, and it’s not a surprise when he settles behind you and tugs you into his arms. You go easily, sighing with relief when his hands slide beneath your belly to hold the weight for you, his toned chest warm against your back and his heart beating next to yours. “I’ll just miss this place.”

“I know you will, and I will too, but think about everything we’ll do in the new house. We’ll get to decorate the nursery and bring our baby home, watch her grow up, maybe give her some siblings. We’ll make that place our own just like we did this one, okay?”

“Okay,” you sniffle softly. “But let’s see how having this kid goes before we start thinking about having more.”

You feel his chest rise and fall as he laughs, and the kiss he presses to your temple has your lips quirking in a small smile.

“Deal.”

AN: i'm not officially back but i'm getting there!

#woozi fluff #woozi x reader #woozi imagines #woozi scenarios #lee jihoon x reader #lee jihoon x you #lee jihoon imagines #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen fic #seventeen fluff #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #svt imagines #svt fluff #svt fanfic #svt x reader #svt x you #✨emily writes✨

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dirtysvthoughts · 3 months

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very random thought that occurred to me this morning (and also because i miss you guys) - some studio!jihoon for all the feels 🤍

quick tags/warnings: boyfriend!jihoon, facetime sex, one mention of lingerie (she got the ruby), dirty talk, mutual masturbation, pet names (daddy, baby, pretty baby, good girl), not proofread yet cause again i missed you guys <3

imagine surprising jihoon with a late night facetime while he’s working, adorned in the sexiest red lingerie he bought for you. you touch yourself sensually across your body, your left hand groping your breasts and your fingers gently touching your clit over your panties. you can’t help but moan out your lover’s name as you pleasure yourself, knowing he was enjoying the show you are putting on for him.

“mmm, my jihoonie,” you sigh, biting your lip enticingly. “i miss you so much, daddy, my fingers can’t do half of what you can do,” you lowly moan at the feeling of inserting two fingers inside your panties now, slightly tilting your head back and giving jihoon the perfect view of your neck.

“fuck baby, keep touching yourself like that for me, shit,” he groans, his own hands palming his crotch through his shorts. “so fucking pretty, you’re so fucking pretty.. god, i need you here with me.”

“i need you here with me too daddy, i wanna feel you holding my waist, kissing me.. clenching around you like the good girl i am. aren’t i a good girl for you?”

“mm, of course you are- you’re such a good girl for me. why don’t you continue being a good girl and rub that cute little clit of yours even faster, m’kay?”

you nod as your two fingers begin to speed up, tiny, breathless little whines and whimpers leaving your lips, each noise sending a twitch to jihoon’s dick.

“d-daddy… i need you, i need you in my pussy so bad, can’t you hear it? just thinking about you touching me and making me cum.. i don’t think i can take it anymore, baby.. i-i need you.”

“well you better keep touching yourself like that pretty baby.. cause you’re gonna be in for a very long night..”

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hcuyk · 10 months

Text

SYNOPSIS : jeonghan loves you. the happier ending to kidult

PAIRING : daycareworker!jeonghan x genderneutral!reader

GENRES : established relationship, daycare au, angst, fluff, features seventeen as children

WARNINGS : mentions of car accident and child neglect

TEASER WORD COUNT : 329

ESTIMATED WORD COUNT : 7-10k

ESTIMATED RELEASE DATE : within the next week. i lied its coming out when i get time cause why tf is my college doing sm

TAGLIST : lmk if you want to be added!

A/N : this is for kidult jeonghan reaching 1k notes. i love you all

K. COLLECTION [Y.JH] ONE | TWO

Tears began to stream down your face, unable to hold them back, and you were thankful Jeonghan missed it, but when you heard him apologize, you turned around and snapped at him.

“What the hell do you even want?”

“I want to talk to you.”

“You had two weeks to talk to me!” you yelled, fighting the loudness of the rain. The stream of tears ran faster down your cheeks as you brought a hand to your forehead, shielding the rain from getting into your eyes.

“I tried!”

“By knocking on my door for an hour straight at two in the fucking morning?! You could’ve called! You have a key!”

“Well it’s not like you tried either—”

“I got hit by a car!” you screamed, storming towards him as the sky reflected your mood. The thunder was just as loud as the pounding in your heart, and the rain poured just as much as your tears. You pushed Jeonghan, and behind him you saw a crack of lightning. Your vision started to blur as you didn’t hold back your sobs, wanting to show him the pain he’d inflicted on you ever since he left.

“I got hit by a car, Jeonghan! What about you? Were you hit by a car?! A truck? Perhaps a plane?” You forced out a manic laugh before continuing. “Wait, no, don’t tell me. Let me guess,-”

“Y/N—”

“-mauled by a bear?”

“I can explain-”

“Tell me I’m goddamn overreacting.” You took a step forward, and instead of pushing him again, you stared, making him look at the pain he created. “Tell me I’m overreacting, Hannie. Look me in my eyes and say it loud and clear.”

“I knew you’d be there for me.”

“I missed you, I needed you-”

“I know.”

“The day I lose you is the day I lose myself.”

“I don’t want you to wake up and realize I’m not the one for you. I don’t want that for us.”

hopefully the svt readers see this 😔

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sweetiesicheng · 5 months

Text

woozi - late night

word count : 724

the line answered and you heard a familiar voice speak. "yea?" woozi answered.

"how much would i have to convince you to let me stay at your place tonight?" you immediately asked him.

you were currently sitting in your car, hoping that your boyfriend would be at his apartment.

"not a lot, but i'm not home, baby. i'm working on stuff," he mentioned.

"damn," you mumbled. "are you going to be home soon?" you asked.

he huffed out a sigh, "no. probably not," he answered. "come to the company building, and i'll give you my key."

"but last time that happened, i didn't wake up when you called," you said to him, recalling the last time you had taken his key from him to sleep at his place.

"i can sleep here if anything. just come here, okay?" he said to you.

"okay," you replied. you drove out of your parking lot and started driving towards hybe.

"so, what's broken in your apartment this time?" woozi asked you.

"water leaked from the floor above so they have to tear into part of my ceiling to fix something," you explained. "i already moved stuff out of the way, so everything's everywhere, and the heat's barely working still."

"you need to just move out of that place. your landlord sucks and the building is literally in shambles," woozi responded. you could hear him clicking and typing every once in a while. "just move in with me already," he suggested.

"i wish i could, babe, but the rent is too much for me, even if i pay for half," you said to him.

"i'm already paying for it. you wouldn't need to pay me at all," woozi replied to you. "as much of a deal your place is on price, it's not good if there's constantly problems happening."

you sighed, "i know. you're right," you said to him. "i'll think about it some more."

"are you almost here?" he asked, changing the subject.

"yea. just a couple of minutes," you replied.

"okay, let me work on this beat. i'll see you in a few," he said to you.

"okay. see ya."

—

you made it to the company building and parked your car in the garage. then, you went upstairs and made it to woozi's studio. you knocked on the door before opening it. woozi peeked his head into the doorway and smiled when he saw you.

"hi."

"it's so late. why did you call so late?" he asked you.

"i thought i could handle the cold, but i just couldn't sleep after all," you explained as you walked in, closing the door behind you.

"come here," he said, beckoning you to him. you walked up to him, and he hugged you tight. "you okay?" he asked.

you nodded, "yea."

"here, take these," woozi said, reaching over for his keys. he grabbed them off of his desk and took his house key off of the key ring. he handed you the key, which you held tightly to ensure you wouldn't lose it.

"can't you come with me?" you asked with a pout.

he kissed you. "i have to work," he claimed.

you hugged him tightly and hid your face in his chest. "no you don't. you can just come home with me," you said, sounding a little bit muffled. woozi hugged you tight, and you felt him kiss your cheek.

"sorry, baby," he apologized, which meant that you got your answer. "i'll call you when i'm done, okay? if you don't answer, then i'll sleep here. it's fine."

you sighed, "okay. i'll do my best to wake up."

woozi smiled at you as you stood up straight.

"drive safe, okay?" he said to you. you nodded with a hum.

"don't stay up too late," you said to him.

"you know this is my prime work hour," he said with a chuckle.

"and you know this is my prime sleep hour," you replied to him with a chuckle. "okay, i'll see you later," you said to him, "and i better wake up with you by my side."

"well, you're going to have to wake up to let me inside before you can wake up to me beside you," woozi said, making you roll your eyes while he chuckled. "love you."

"love you," you said, kissing him before heading out.

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rinsuniverse · 11 months

Text

[7:26]

kisses with woozi!

here are two scenarios i imagine kissing woozi would be like

imagine he's about to leave for tour

you're sitting on his bed and he's scrambling around the room, putting things in his suitcase and double checking his checklist

he's muttering to himself things like, "did i pack my charger for my laptop?" or "shit, i forgot my toothbrush. one sec."

in the midst of the mess, he glances over at you

you're just sitting there with your phone in your hands, but you're observing him as he packs last minute

his stresses melt when he sees your big questioning eyes as soon as he made eye contact with you

you mouth "what?"

and he chuckles. "i should just pack you so you can come with me"

"as if" you counter, laughing at him "oh, i have a surprise for you"

he puts down his stuff before sitting down besides you on the bed

you go to your bag and pull out a shoebox of thoughtful, short letters for different emotions he might have on tour

"surprise!" you hand him the box and he's smiling at you

"you're so cheesy"

"there's one for when you get to the airport-"

and he kisses you on the cheek interrupting your train of thought

he's looking away, his eyes tightly closed and his ears turned red

"you're welcome, ji."

he'd fall more in love with you when you do thoughtful things like that

i imagine he'd spontaneously surprise you with thoughtful gifts, too, so whenever you reciprocate, he can't control his feelings for you

another time woozi would kiss his s/o!

imagine you're at his studio (surprise, surprise)

you suggested you wanted to make a song for him and he was all over that idea, already making some demos for you

when you finish recording and he's sitting there quietly, editing the song

you smile at how focused he is

the way he bops his head and gets lost in the music

you cant help yourself

"i love you. can i kiss you?" you say, making him physically pause

"what?"

"i want a kiss."

he laughs, hiding his smile behind his hand

"come onnn, i deserve it after being scolded for my singing and rapping."

"i didn't scold you, i was just correcting you."

"can you just kiss me?"

"no." he deadpans

your jaw drops and you begin laughing

but he gently places his hand behind your neck and head, pulling you closer

and he kisses you for a moment before going right back to editing

he's so cute, literally 🫶

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hoshiputa · 6 months

Note

omg if ur requests are open.... phone sex with woozi.... only if it sparks joy for u ofc 🫶

what if I say you ACTUALLY READ MY MIND bc I was thinking about writing EXACTLY WHAT YOU ASKED! so here we go I hope you enjoy it

#seventeen smut #svt smut #seventeen fic #svt fanfiction #svt fic #svt x reader #svt x you #woozi #woozi x reader #woozi x you #lee jihoon #lee jihoon x reader #request #tumblr only

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leejihoonownsmyheart · 2 years

Text

Car Crash

Title: Car Crash

Genre: Fake dating, enemies to lovers

Smut warnings: Smut is in part two, Reader is a bottom, dirty talk, teasing, Jihoon isn’t shy when they’re having sex, top!Jihoon, …mindbreak?, creampie, overstimulation, blowjob, fingering

I split this into two parts because it is so stupid long.

Part One:

You watched in quiet amusement as Jihoon slipped into his studio, clearly not knowing yet that you were there. To announce your presence without being too startling, you pressed your hand against the computer keyboard on the desk surface beside you, making it squeak a little in resistance.

Jihoon jumped at the noise, his eyes growing wide and his mouth falling open when he saw you. You laughed at the reaction and raised a hand in the air.

“Calm down, it’s just me,” You assured him softly. You watched him visibly relax, his shoulders dropping as he set the plastic bags in his hands down on the studio floor.

“What are you doing here?” He asked you, and you would be stupid to not notice the small hitch in his voice as he spoke. You didn’t pay it too much attention. You just kicked your dangling feet more through the air, humming as you lowered your eyes down to your toes.

“Just thought I would come check up on my dear Jihoonie,” you replied, your voice dripping with a sweet tone that you didn’t even know that you were capable of. When you looked up Jihoon was just standing there staring at you, clearly wanting to know why you were really there.

“The company wants us to go out. Jeonghan tipped off the press that we have big plans tonight,” you explained with a grunt. “So, we’re going on a date.”

Jihoon didn’t say anything to that- to the point that his silence made you a little bit anxious. You raised your eyes to his again and noticed that he was just staring at you. God you didn’t understand him. Why was he so surprised by something so simple?

“Get off my desk,” Jihoon finally said. “I told you not to touch my things.”

You and Jihoon were in a rather peculiar situation with one another. It wasn’t exactly complicated, but it also wasn’t simple. The basics went like this: You and Jihoon had hated one another since the first day that you were just starting as a trainee at Pledis.

You took one look at one another and knew that you two wouldn’t work out. It wasn’t anything that really made sense. Everyone said that you two would get along and liked all the same things, but you two had decided either way that you would be enemies from day one and it was the only thing that you two agreed on.

If Jihoon decided that he wanted to do something, you decided that you wouldn’t be caught dead doing it. If Jihoon heard you were the one preparing dinner for everyone that night, he ordered take out. If you found out that you would be recording with Jihoon in the studio, you made a point to be as late as you could justify.

The only problem with your little feud was that it wasn’t really good on the company.

“Rumors are getting out that you two hate each other,” Sungsoo said pointedly, his eyebrows raising as he leaned forward on his desk.

“Rumors are true,” Jihoon replied just as bluntly. “What’s next?”

“We can’t have these things get out,” Sungsoo grunted with a slight roll of his eyes. “We try to pass ourselves off as a company that is more like a family then a group of strangers.”

“Family fights,” you replied, reaching across the room and lightly hitting Jihoon over the head. Jihoon jumped slightly and made a sound of protest as he hit you back.

“I can’t believe you would hit me!” Jihoon protested

“You’re hardly a human to begin with!” You shot back.

“This is exactly what I am talking about!” Sungsoo interrupted. You turned to look at him, immediately regretting your actions. Sungsoo was so angry he was red. “We can’t tolerate this behavior, why do you two even hate each other so much?”

Silence filled the room.

“Alright, that settles it. Too much is happening because of you two. People are starting to make video compilations addressing the rumor. Luckily, it’s nothing substantial,” Sungsoo continued. “What do you think we should do? Hmm, how do you guys propose to start stamping out these rumors?”

Still, silence was all that could be heard.

“You two are going to start dating.”

“What?!” Both you and Jihoon exclaimed at the same time. Sungsoo shot you both a look and you sat back down.

“You can’t be serious,” you mumbled. “Surely a dating rumor is worse than one that we hate each other.”

“It’s a risk,” Sungsoo agreed with a small nod of his head. “But a risk that I’d rather take then let people think that the trainees under this company don’t like one another.”

“I won’t do it,” Jihoon protested. “I won’t even pretend to date someone like-”

“Then I’ll postpone your comeback, and suspend you from the group,” Sungsoo said. “A hate rumor leads to bullying rumors, and bullying rumors can ruin your groups reputation and lead to disbandment. A dating confirmation just means that everyone under our company gets along and we gain the respect of a lot of foreigners.”

You looked over at Jihoon, shocked that you were hearing what you were. It was clear that the decision for you two had already long been determined and that no wasn’t really an option. You couldn’t believe that this was the solution they had come to when faced with the threat of a bullying rumor.

“There has to be some other solution,” you said, turning back to face the President. “Any solution. I promise we’ll behave from now on-”

“The date is already planned,” Sungsoo interrupted. “You either agree or your careers as idols are over. I love you guys, and I know this is harsh but this- it’s for the best.”

You couldn’t help the way that Sungsoo’s words echoed through your head that day, and the days after. You couldn’t really wrap your head around the fact that you had somehow gotten yourself dragged into this impossible situation.

Looking back on it you were beginning to regret being so public about your distaste for Lee Jihoon, but now... It was a little late to go back on that.

You stood in front of your mirror, absolutely fuming at the fact you had to go on this date at all. Everything about this felt wrong to you, even the outfit that you knew you would normally love to wear. Why were you dressing so cute for Jihoon anyways? It was just stupid Jihoon. There was a soft knock at your door and before you could answer it, the door was being pushed open.

“Look at you, you know mom is so proud that you’re going on your first date,” Jeonghan cooed. You glanced back at him over your shoulder in time to see him propped against your door frame. “Dad’s not too excited about it.”

“Don’t you have dance practice?” You asked, aggravation creeping into your voice. Jeonghan shrugged.

“This is much more entertaining.”

You weren’t really sure how Jeonghan had managed to figure out that you and Jihoon weren’t actually dating. The minute the article came out he was knocking on your door, that characteristic look on his face that told you that Jeonghan didn’t believe a single lie coming out of your mouth.

“So you and Jihoon,” he drawled. You were staring at him with your arms crossed over your chest in nothing but your pajamas. You wouldn’t put up with this from just anyone. If Mingyu had barged into your room at two in the morning he would have gotten an earful.

But Jeonghan was Jeonghan. He did what he wanted, he didn’t care what others had to say about it, and he was quite honestly one of the least judgmental people you had ever met in your life. So, when it was him, you didn’t really mind, no matter how annoyed he seemed to make you.

“It’s two in the morning Jeonghan,” you said bluntly. “Do you have anything important to say or not?”

“Depends on if you are going to lie to me or not.”

You stayed silent. Just stared at him.

“I know you and Jihoon aren’t actually dating,” Jeonghan said. “You’re telling me that the same person that was complaining yesterday about the fact that Jihoon drinks americanos has been dating him?”

You shrugged.

“It was a secret,” you said. “I had to make up something convincing. I made up that I hated him.”

“Right.” Jeonghan stared at you, practically daring you to keep the lie up.

“Jeonghan, can I go to bed?” You asked. He hummed.

“Sure.”

He turned away from you and began to close your door.

“But we aren’t done talking about this.”

And true to his word Jeonghan had not dropped the topic.

You gave said boy a pressed expression.

“Can’t you just pretend you don’t know?” You asked. Jeonghan’s eyebrows rose in amusement.

“Know that you two aren’t actually dating?” He asked. You wanted to scream.

“Know that we are dating,” you corrected. “It was easier when no one knew.”

Jeonghan hummed.

“Didn’t take you for the type that enjoyed lying.”

You wondered if ignoring Jeonghan would make it easier to resist his badgering so you pushed past him, trusting him to close the door to your room. Walking into the living room of the dorm you shared with your group members you saw Ai and Nari sitting on the couch. They must have heard the chains of your platforms clanging against your shoes because they both turned away from the drama they were watching to look at you.

You huffed, placing a hand on your hip.

“I have a boyfriend,” you said bluntly. “You can’t just let strange men into my room.”

A puzzled expression crossed Ai’s face.

“We didn’t let a man into your room, we let Jeonghan into your room.”

Nari giggled softly, hiding her smile with her hand. Nari and Ai were the two youngest members of your idol group. Nari had chestnut brown hair that fell just above her shoulders, while Ai had long black hair that fell past her lower back. They were both about the same height just barely shorter then you and-

“You act as if any of us have control over what Jeonghan does,” Chae said with a laugh. She was the eldest of your group with dark hair that matched Ai’s and the roundest cheeks of anyone that you had ever met. Between Nari and Ai; Chae undeniably looked the most innocent, but in reality she was even more ruthless than you were.

“I’m just here to see you off on your date,” Jeonghan said innocently as he joined your side. You shot him a glare and began to walk around.

“See you around,” you called over to your dorm mates. They all echoed farewells and you distantly heard their conversations turn to that of what movie to watch for the night.

You hated to miss movie night, in fact, you had been secretly really disappointed when the company had scheduled your first public date on a day that was reserved solely for you and your group mates but there wasn’t much that could be said to change things.

“You sure did get dolled up for our little Jihoon,” Jeonghan teased, falling it step with you again. You groaned.

“Jeonghan! Seriously leave me alone.”

“I’ll do what you wish just as soon as I see you and your boyfriend off.”

On a different day you might actually fight with Jeonghan for your privacy. Despite being one of your best friends he did get under your skin quite easily, but he only ever pushed you as far as you let him. You knew that if you changed your intonation and the way that you were looking at him you would be able to get Jeonghan to leave you alone.

And you knew that Jeonghan knew that as well.

But trying to convince the people closest in your life that you had been convincingly hiding a relationship with a man you openly hated had your heart in your throat. And as much as you knew he shouldn’t, you really wanted Jeonghan to know that this was all fake. You really hoped that he didn’t drop this.

When you two rounded the corner to the front door you felt your chest tighten even further. Jihoon was standing at the end of the hall, his hands shoved in his pockets and his eyes on the ground. He had a white button up on and a pair of jeans. Nothing special really, but more form fitting then he normally wore. As you and Jeonghan approached he raised his eyes, first looking at you and then looking at Jeonghan. His eyebrows furrowed.

“What are you...?”

“Mazel tov!” Jeonghan cheered mockingly. He pushed you towards Jihoon, forcibly closing the distance between the two of you. As soon as you regained control of your body you put your hands on your hips, fixing your glare back on Jeonghan.

“He’s insisted on seeing us off,” you replied. “He thinks we’re lying.”

You had to give credit where credit was due. When Jihoon heard you, his eyes widened just so and he turned his attention fully to you.

“Why wouldn’t he believe us?” Jihoon asked you. You shrugged. He glanced at Jeonghan, giving him a weird look. “Go back to your room Jeonghan.”

As he spoke he held his hand out to you. You looked at it, for a second too long. You didn’t want to touch him. You had gone a really long time not having to touch Jihoon and you didn’t want to start now. The thought of touching someone who hated you as much as you knew that Jihoon did made your skin crawl.

You took Jihoon’s hand and pressed your lips into a smile.

You would just have to get used to your skin crawling.

“I know you two are faking,” Jeonghan practically sang. “Have fun pretending like you can actually stand one another.”

And like that you and Jihoon slipped out into the cold night air.

A date at night was actually a bit of a dream for you. There was something magical about going on a late night stroll with someone. It made everything seem so quiet.

When you were alone at night with someone you loved the huge, loud world suddenly felt just a little bit smaller.

“Your hand is clammy,” Jihoon mumbled. You sighed, your appreciation for the night broken. You pulled your hand from Jihoon’s making a point of wiping your hands against your pants.

You two walked together in silence, both keeping a good amount of space between each other. You knew that you should probably say something to him but you really didn’t want to and clearly Jihoon didn’t want to talk to you either.

And yet the silence was overbearing.

“So the paparazzi show up at the restaurant thirty minutes in?” You asked. You knew that the answer was yes but you were sick of this awkwardness.

“Congratulations you know how to listen,” Jihoon responded immediately. You felt a strand of your hair fall in your face and you pushed it back out of your face a little more aggressively than you normally would.

“You don’t have to be a dick about everything,” you mumbled. “After all-” You swung your body in front of him, pressing a wide, cocky smile on your lips, leaning close to his face. “We’re dating now.”

Jihoon didn’t even flinch. He stared at you for a moment, no emotion spreading over his face. Then his face scrunched in disgust and he brushed past you.

“Get serious,” he mumbled. You huffed out a breath of air and jogged a second to catch back up to him. “This is the absolute worse thing that could have happened to me this year.”

“I’m not thrilled about it either,” you responded sharply. “I could be on the couch rewatching the Saw movies with the girls.”

“And I could be working on the next title track for Seventeen’s album,” Jihoon bit back. “We could both be doing better things if it weren’t for your mistake.”

“My mistake?” You blurted. You were about to go off on him because the idea that this whole situation was solely your fault was laughable, but even as the anger boiled up into your throat you forced it down. “What got us into this was exactly this. Us fighting. We won’t make a convincing couple if we keep fighting.”

Jihoon fell silent for a few moments.

“I hate you.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

When you got into the restaurant the time between when the paparazzi arrived and when you two sat down dragged along for what felt like hours. And it was some of the most awkward hours that could have passed. You felt bad for your waitress who could practically feel the tension between you two.

When the paparazzi finally arrived and you saw the first flashes of cameras out of your peripheral, you leaned forward, holding out your hand for Jihoon to take.

“I hope you’re a good actor,” you whispered.

His eyes flickered to yours and you pulled your mask down, reaching across the table to take one of Jihoon’s fries. You smiled cheekily at him.

“Your fries are better than mine,” you said innocently. Jihoon’s face briefly flickered with disgust, but when he pulled down his mask his facial expression was one of amusement.

“My fries taste just the same as yours,” he insisted. You reached over to take another one of his and he playfully swatted your hand. “Eat your own.”

You whined playfully and began to write a story for him, telling him about your day and your friends animatedly. Jihoon actually managed to feign interest in what you had to say even though you knew that in reality he hated every second. He nodded when he needed to, laughed at all the right parts, and he never expressed anything other than pure devotion towards you.

“Do you hate me?” You asked, interrupting your story. Jihoon’s eyebrows shot up- genuine surprise riddled over his face.

“Why do you say that?”

You waved your hand in the air.

“You won’t hold my hand.”

Jihoon’s laugh sounded natural. He reached forward and intertwined his fingers with yours. His eyebrow quirked.

“Happy?”

If it hadn’t been Jihoon you thought maybe your heart would flutter.

“You have to make it up to me,” you replied coyly. Jihoon tilted his head to the side, his hair falling into his face.

“And how can I make it up?”

You stood up, pressing your body over the table. With your free hand you brushed the hair out of Jihoon’s face. You two hadn’t discussed this. The fact that you two were going to have to kiss in order to really sell this façade but you could tell by Jihoon’s face that he had seen it coming. He leaned closer to you, his lips quirking up even more. It was a clear invitation to close the distance.

“I think you know how to make it up to me.”

Jihoon pressed closer to you, his lips teasingly brushing against yours. You felt disgusted having to kiss him, but even so you pressed even closer to him completely closing the distance between you two.

The worst part about kissing Jihoon wasn’t kissing Jihoon. As an idol, you had been training since you were thirteen to debut and, that being said it left you with little time to have an actual life. You didn’t get to do clubs after school or go to the mall with friends. Your earliest memories were those of your time with Ai, Nari, and Chae. You three had spent your childhood together.

The only normal memories that you had were ones that you all had crafted together. Sneaking out to the park, and flirting with boys there until your manager found you all and dragged you back to the company. You wanted to smile remembering the punishments you three had endured when you were just trying to be kids.

All that to say, the worst part about kissing Jihoon was that he was your first kiss. A moment that people treasured in their minds so dearly. Looked forward to having so much. Fantasized for so many years snatched away from you by the man you hated the most.

When you pulled away from Jihoon there was still a smile on your lips, but you felt like a little piece of you had died.

“Are you happier now?” Jihoon asked teasingly. You sat back in your seat, squeezing his hand.

“Yeah,” you said. “Can we get dessert?”

The rest of the date flew by. You held Jihoon’s hand the whole time and you whined until he fed you some of the chocolate cake that you two shared. When the waitress brought over your check you both fought over who was going to pay like a couple in their honeymoon phase and before you left the restaurant you took Jihoon’s hat from him and put it on your own head.

It wasn’t until you two slipped back into the dorms that you both roomed in that you were finally able to drop the act.

You felt a relieved breath leave your mouth at finally being out of the view of the paparazzi’s camera lens, but your relief was brief. Jihoon snatched his hat from of your head, looking clearly aggravated as he situated it back on his head.

“Don’t steal my stuff,” he asserted.

“I had to be convincing,” you replied shrugging it off. “You thought I wanted to wear your hat?”

He didn’t respond to you. He didn’t even say anything in farewell. Instead, he turned on his heel and wandered away. You felt frustration bubbling in your stomach but you didn’t get the chance to fully express it as moments later a hand was on your shoulder.

You yelped at the touch, throwing your hand over your mouth.

“Relax, it’s just me.”

You thought that it was almost worse that it was Jeonghan standing there. You let your hand drop from your mouth and you fixed Jeonghan under a glare.

“Han, I’m tired,” you murmured.

“I just want to know how the date went,” Jeonghan replied, feigning innocence. You didn’t fall for those big puppy dog eyes.

“It was nice,” you said, a fake smile flitting across your lips. “Jihoon and I don’t get to go on dates a lot. It’s nice that we can go on more now.”

“Wow,” Jeonghan said, and for a brief second you thought you had convinced him. “You are a really bad liar.”

You rolled your eyes and turned away from Jeonghan, determined to ask him why he was so confident it was fake when you heard something starting to play behind him.

“Don’t steal my stuff,” Jihoon’s voice repeated. And then you heard your voice, clear as day.

“I had to be convincing. You thought I wanted to wear your hat?”

Your shoulders slacked and you looked back at Jeonghan.

“Did you wait around for hours just so you could record us and prove we aren’t dating?” You asked him. He smiled cockily.

“It was 100% worth it.”

The pro to Jeonghan knowing that you were in a fake relationship was obvious. You got to complain to someone about Jihoon all over again. Even if it was someone who was actually quite close to Jihoon no matter what you said.

“I hate this,” you blurted. “Have I said that yet? I have to kiss that jerk. Kiss him.”

Jeonghan just smiled at you as you rambled about your most recent date with Jihoon.

“You’re not being nearly convincing enough,” Jeonghan warned softly.

“Are you kidding?” You argued. “We hold hands, we kiss, I steal his clothes-”

Jeonghan was clearly completely ignoring what you had to say. Instead he opened his phone and slid his phone across the table.

“Does this really look like a happy couple to you?”

It was a picture of you and Jihoon, holding hands from one of your dates. You two had gummy smiles, and you were laughing at something he had said. To a passer-byer you and Jihoon did look like a happy couple. But under a trained eye- Even just the eye of a dedicated fan- you could see the tension between the two of you.

“We’re doing our best,” you said. “How are two people who hate each other supposed to convincingly act like they like one another?”

Jeonghan hummed softly, not seeming too affected by your excuses. He turned his attention back to the latte that was in front of him, nursing the straw as a way to divert his attention. You pressed your lips together firmly.

“What would you do in my situation?” You asked. He glanced back up at your from beneath his eyelashes.

“Try to get to know him,” Jeonghan replied pointedly. “It’s easier to fake something if there is a little bit of truth in it.”

“I don’t want to get to know him,” you replied stubbornly. “This is so stupid. How is a dating scandal better than it getting out that we hate each other?”

Jeonghan sighed.

“What is up with you? Usually you are so adaptable,” he mumbled. “But it’s like when it has to do with Jihoon you completely lose sense of what is reasonable.”

You grumbled but let your attention turn back to your phone. You slid it open, scrolling through your emails when Jeonghan peered over your shoulder.

“Have you changed your lock screen yet?” Jeonghan asked. You glanced up at him.

“Hmm?”

“You don’t have a picture of your boyfriend as your lock screen on your phone.”

You stared at him blankly for a few moments.

“I hate you,” you finally said. Jeonghan shrugged innocently.

“Isn’t that what normal couples do?” He asked. It was moments like these that made you wonder why you liked Jeonghan’s company so much… But then again you supposed any relationship was better than your one with Jihoon.

“Okay I think that we should be good for the day,” you panted softly, your chest rising and falling with the anticipation of having to run this dance again. While Nari and Ai practically fell to the ground in exhaustion, Chae just propped herself on you. You stood there panting and as you two were catching your breath the door to the room opened. You glanced over at the door as three people walked in. You felt pure exhaustion pump through you as you forced yourself to dip your head, all of the others following suit.

The three that had come in were Hansol, Wonwoo, and... Your aggravation almost made it so that you missed the smiles and hello’s that Hansol and Wonwoo gave you. Almost.

You scoffed loudly, causing the third person in the room to look up suddenly. Then without a smile or a nod or any type of acknowledgment he looked away, saying something to Wonwoo.

You couldn’t help the way that the pressure built in your chest at something so simple as him not acknowledging that you were there. You weren’t sure why it made you so angry- if it had been someone else you probably wouldn’t have cared- but it wasn’t somebody else. It was Jihoon.

“Do you think that you’re better than us?” You demanded. Everyone in the room seemed shocked by your outburst. Nari and Ai ran up to your side, grabbing at your wrists.

“They’re just busy-”

“It takes two seconds to acknowledge us,” you blurted. “Wonwoo and Hansol both said hi, but Jihoon thinks just because he’s the star producer of Pledis-” Your fellow members were urgently trying to hush you but it wasn’t cooling you down at all. You only stopped because finally Jihoon seemed to deem you worthy enough to acknowledge. His eyebrows furrowed and his head cocked to the side.

“I say hello to people I care about and people who deserve it,” Jihoon said pointedly. You scoffed and started to pull away from the others in your group but they stopped you before you could get very far.

“Calm down.” “Sorry about this.”

“It’s been a really tiring day.”

You protested them pulling you away but all you ended up doing was causing a bigger scene and the whole time Jihoon was just staring at you as if he had done nothing wrong at all.

You knew that today was going to be awful when you looked up from your stretches to see Lee Jihoon standing at the door to the practice room. When Ai followed your gaze, a smile spread over Jihoon’s.

“Hey,” he said softly. “Want to go out tonight?”

You forced yourself to smile back at him, trying to make it seem more real by turning your head from him a little. Ai made a really excited expression towards you and pulled you into a slightly hushed excited squeal.

You cleared your throat and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, nodding at him slyly.

“I suppose I have the time for it.”

After getting ready you finally left your dorm room to Jihoon leaning against the wall of the hallway. He looked you up and down.

“Took you long enough.”

You rolled your eyes.

“And here I thought you asked me out because you liked me.”

This date was different from the first. A walk in the park. You both went out dressed similarly to the first date, matching baggy clothes and hats and masks to hide your identities. Still the tipped off press were able to spot you two quickly and you and Jihoon did your best to put on a good show.

Despite his warnings you made a point to steal Jihoon’s hat again, laughing as he chased you around the park. You both fell to the ground and Jihoon smiled down at you, both of his hands capturing you beneath him.

“I hope love doesn’t actually make me act like this,” he whispered to you, that fake smile still spread over his face. You snorted.

“You think anyone is going to fall in love with you?” You asked him. You could tell that he was resisting the urge to sneer at you.

“Do we really have to kiss?” He groaned.

“I wish we didn’t.”

You leaned up, pressing your lips to his chastely.

“Unfortunately, we do.”

“Holy water isn't enough to get that man’s touch off of me,” you complained as the hot water splattered across your skin, washing the body soap off of you for what felt like the millionth time. Jeonghan hummed from the other side of the curtain.

“You’re being dramatic. He’s just a man.”

You peeked out at Jeonghan from around the curtain.

“If you’re going to be in the bathroom while I shower you might as well agree with me,” you grumbled. He raised an amused eyebrow at you.

“Well, I could join you in the shower.”

You snorted and slid your head back into the shower.

“That would make things easier,” you replied. “I’m sure the netizens would love it if they found out I took showers with Yoon Jeonghan along with dating Lee Jihoon.”

You whistled.

“The media would say I’m a slut.”

“Why else would you let me do wordle in the bathroom while you take a shower?”

You coated your body with soap once again and then began to wash it off.

“You barely leave me alone as it is,” you replied. “Why fight it?”

You heard your phone ding and before you could ask Jeonghan what it was he was speaking.

“The boss wants to see you and Jihoon in five.”

You groaned, letting your head hit the shower wall dramatically.

“I’ll see myself out. Have fun with your boyfriend.”

“You two are not being convincing.”

You and Jihoon glanced at one another from where you two were sitting... Practically across the room from one another. At having caught your gaze Jihoon scowled and looked away from you. You sighed.

“How are we not being convincing?” You demanded. “We kiss, we laugh, we hold hands-”

“Yeah and it’s not enough. Your fans think that this is some company ploy,” Sungsoo said.

“They have common sense,” Jihoon commented bluntly. Sungsoo glared over at him.

“You know what is one thing that you two have in common?” Sungsoo asked. You both stayed silently. “You both love music. And writing music. And expressing your feelings through music.”

You didn’t understand what this had to do with anything and Sungsoo seemed to sense that.

“You brats...” He mumbled. “You’re going to write a song together.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you both blurted. Sungsoo sighed.

“Can’t you two just be good? It’s your fault for being so unreasonable. Why do you two hate each other so much anyways?”

You both fell silent, neither of you willing to say anything. Sungsoo just sighed, rubbing his face with his hand.

“Do you know how hard it is to run this company?” He asked you two. “I have so much shit to deal with and now I have to worry about you two ruining your reputations.”

He looked back up.

“I’m not doing this to torture you two, I’m doing this because it is what we have to do in order to protect your careers. Why are you making me the bad guy?”

You and Jihoon were both silent.

“Just write a stupid love song okay? You two are good at that.”

You glanced at Jihoon at that, and Jihoon glanced at you. He seemed conflicted, stuck between angry and helpless. He didn’t let the interaction last for long. He stood up and looked from you to Sungsoo.

“Fine. One song.”

He looked back at you, his expression still unreadable.

“Let’s just get it over with.”

And then without any further dismissal he let himself out of the office.

Sungsoo was clearly frustrated. He shook his head letting it drop into his hands again.

“In all my years..” He murmured.

You sighed.

“Do we really have to do this?” You asked him. “Sungsoo, it’s just us.”

“That doesn’t change my answer,” Sungsoo said firmly. “Do you not understand how serious this is?”

“It’s just a stupid rumor about two idols disliking each other. Do you know how many rumors there are like that in the idol world?”

“You don’t-”

“Minho and Key used to hate each other, Kino and Hui, Jae and YoungK-”

“All of those are in the past tense,” Sungsoo insisted.

“So? They still actively hated each other at one point- Some for years. People understand people hating each other.”

As you spoke Sungsoo made a point to ignore you. He turned to his computer beginning to mess around with it.

“Are you even listening to me?” You blurted. “There’s literally a legendary JYP trainee fight and your worried about it getting out that Jihoon and I- two trainees in different groups- don't like each other? Mark Tuan threw a laptop at Bambam once and-”

Sungsoo suddenly turned his computer screen towards you. You faltered.

“What-”

“Just read it.”

So, you did. It was an article. It started off describing Seventeen’s career, specifically going into details about Jihoon’s image. They talked about the positive attributes that people usually attributed him with- you rolled your eyes- and then it started to talk about you and-

You couldn’t help the way your aggravation at having to read this disappeared from your face. This article wasn’t there to slander the both of you. Instead, it zeroed in on Jihoon himself. Going into reports of Jihoon making you- someone notorious for being kind and patient- suddenly angry and argumentative. Whoever wrote the article clearly had a bias towards you. It painted you as someone who could do no wrong, and Jihoon as a monster for having gotten on your bad side.

You cleared your throat, feeling suddenly pale.

“So-”

“I lied when I said it would ruin both of your careers. It won’t. In fact, it might boost your career. It will solely ruin Jihoon’s career. There are key witnesses in this talking about your interactions, blaming him for each and every one.”

Sungsoo turned his computer away from you.

“I know you hate Jihoon,” he said. “But I’m hoping that this article that depicts you as this perfect idol has the right idea of you.”

Your brain felt fuzzy.

“Has the right idea of me...?”

“If this article gets out it’s over for Jihoon,” Sungsoo said. “Are you willing to ruin a man’s career over some petty feud?”

You stood in front of the door to Jihoon’s studio, feeling like kicking the door in frustration. Instead of doing that you took a deep breath and knocked lightly on the door. There was only a second before the door popped open and you were met with the face of a tall, disheveled man. When he saw you his lips turned up into a mischievous smile.

“Your favorite person is here!” He called back over his shoulder. He looked back at you, his eyes full of light. “Hope you weren’t hoping for a fun date night with Jihoon. He’s working.”

You smiled.

“Hi Mingyu,” you greeted softly. As you spoke, he opened the door wide enough for you to slip into the studio. You had never been in Jihoon’s new studio before. You had been in his old studio a few times. He had helped produce a few songs for your group when you first debuted. But with you and his growing feud, your group began to work with Bumzu a little bit more closely, so you had never seen his new one.

It gave you an overall cozy feeling. There was a slightly messy area clearly just for his group mates to hang out. You only said messy because of the stray blanket on the couch, a switch on the little coffee table and the takeout trash scattered across the floor. The actual studio aspect of the room was organized chaos. There were instruments strewn about and papers littered over the countertops.

Jihoon sat in the middle of the mess, his hand buried in his hair in frustration. You cleared your throat, and he finally turned around. A smile crossed his lips.

“You’re here,” he said. You smiled back at him, and crossed the room so that you could press a kiss to the corner of his lips. In some ways, kissing him like that was better. You felt disgusted every time your lips touched. But the aspect of kissing the corner of his lips felt more intimate and personal, and you hated that almost as much.

“Ooohhhh,” Mingyu teased. “Look at him getting all gummy.”

Aggravation crossed Jihoon’s face- for once not aimed at you.

“Get out Mingyu, we have things to do.”

Mingyu’s teasing grin dropped immediately.

“No!” He protested. “I’ve been quiet!”

“You made a mess,” Jihoon disagreed.

Mingyu pouted, turning his attention to you now.

“You can convince him right? I just want to play my switch and hang out! Everyone else is busy.”

You had always liked Kim Mingyu. He had a really good heart. He got accused pretty often of doing things he shouldn’t. You couldn’t name the amount of times that you had heard that he had done something wrong. Always accused of leading girls on but you had never seen him like that. He was just social and desperate for attention.

If you were willing to pretend for the next couple hours that you were in love with Jihoon you would certainly barter for his company in the room. You knew how much he loved to just be in the same room with people he cared about.

But, unfortunately, you weren’t willing to pretend that you liked Jihoon for that long.

“I don’t get a lot of alone time with Jihoon,” you said apologetically. Mingyu gave one more helpless look to Jihoon who didn’t step down from his earlier stance. Mingyu sighed.

“Fine,” he said softly. He began to pick up his things, making a point of sulking while doing it. The whole show kind of made you want to laugh. You had known that when it came to the other members of Seventeen he was clingy, but you never realized he was this clingy. He reminded you a bit of Ai. She was always willing to do anything just to be in the same room as one of them.

“Bye Mingyu,” you called out as he walked out of the room. The minute the door was closed you hummed contently. “I like him.”

Jihoon turned in his chair, facing his computer again.

“Something we can agree on,” he said softly. “Anyways, this song.”

He gestured towards a chair near his and you took a seat, leaning forward to look at his computer.

“I was thinking maybe I could write it and produce it and then we can just pretend we did it together,” he commented. ”Better than actually working on it together.”

You rolled your eyes.

“My fans will notice if I don’t help,” you turned down immediately. “I don’t want to help you out but Jeonghan and Sungsoo say we aren’t being convincing. This has to be convincing. Besides I don’t want my name on something you did.”

Jihoon glanced over at you.

“So what do you propose?” He asked.

“We do what Sungsoo said,” you replied with a shrug. He scoffed, but you leaned forward. “So, let’s talk about this song. A romance?”

“It would have to be,” Jihoon agreed, but you noted that his words were a little forced. “What are you thinking?”

“Something light? Pop-y like your stuff used to be,” you suggested. “Kind of like my groups stuff is right now. First love type things.”

“First love is overused and Seventeen alone has outgrown the concept. We’re too old to write about first love again,” Jihoon denied immediately. “Besides, we aren’t first love. It doesn’t make sense for us to sing about first love.”

You felt a pressure in your chest as Jihoon shut down your idea but you screamed at yourself to stay civil. He wasn’t trying to be contrary, he was just trying to be convincing. You were both just trying to be convincing.

“Okay, no first love,” you agreed, unable to hold back the bite in your voice. “So what idea do you have genius?”

“Anything is better than first love. What are we in kindergarten?” He retorted.

You knew full well that he knew that a huge part of your groups concept was first love. Your whole group was to mirror that of the perfect fantasy. Four perfect, sweet idols that are marketed in such a way that you could almost genuinely believe that you had gone to school with them and had once upon a time almost fell in love with.

“Saying anything is better isn’t coming up with an actual idea that is better,” you said shortly. “Our song could be about how our love is so powerful it feels like first love all over again.”

“First love hardly ever actually comes true.”

You laughed.

“Who was it that said: ‘Let’s not believe that first love never comes true’?” You argued back.

“Oh I see what this is now,” Jihoon replied dryly. “You’re a fan huh? What were you in love with me and then you got angry because you realized I would never like you?”

“Just because I know the lyrics of one of your most popular songs doesn’t mean that I am a fan,” you snapped back, your voice rising.

“No need to get embarrassed,” Jihoon cooed, leaning towards you with a mischievous expression on his face. He knew that he was winning this argument, he could see in your eyes how hard you were trying to stay civil. “You must secretly be thrilled that we are in this situation. Finally you get to see what it would be like to date me.”

You stood up suddenly, the chair you had been in falling to the ground at the sudden action.

“God you are so fucking conceited,” you blurted. “The whole world doesn’t revolve around you Jihoon.”

Before Jihoon could respond- and you knew he wanted to, you grabbed your phone.

“Write whatever you want today it will be a waste of time. We are writing this song together so get your head out of your ass and actually work with me.” You turned away from him, storming out of the room before he could say so much as another word. You willed yourself to calm down as you walked back to your place but your whole body was on fire. Where did he get off accusing you of being in love with him? With him?

The statement itself was too ironic for you to even entertain. You were, after all, the only one who saw Jihoon for who he was. Conceited, spoiled, cocky.

You shook the negative feelings off of you but they clung to you like glue.

You decided it didn’t even matter to cool down and you just walked into your dorm, slamming the door closed behind you. Ai’s head popped up from the couch.

“Hey,” she said, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “Bad day?”

You turned to her, giving her a frustrated look.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

That didn’t push away her confusion.

“I thought you were hanging out with Jihoon today?”

Yeah, that was the problem.

“He’s busy,” you replied with a wave of your hand. “Don’t start dating a workaholic. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”

Ai sighed, falling back on the couch.

“Dating itself sounds like such a dream,” she whined. “You’re so lucky you managed to find someone like Jihoon.”

You didn’t like lying to your group members. You four were supposed to be each other’s best friends in this world. The three people you could trust the most were the ones in your group. You told one another everything. That alone should have caused suspicion in Ai, Mari, and Chae, and yet they loved you so much that they just accepted the news and your half-hearted explanation as to why you had never told them that you two were dating in the first place.

You felt like you were letting them down.

“You’ll find someone,” you said softly. “Who knows, maybe the love of your life is just around the corner.”

Ai sighed dreamily.

“Maybe.”

You slipped your shoes off as a yawn ripped through your body. Arguing with Jihoon always did take the energy right out of you.

“I’m going to sleep, don’t stay up too late Ai.”

“Don’t worry I won’t!” She called back, and with that you retreated into your room.

Asshole of the Year: If we have to write this song you might as well come over today.

Try not to be so sensitive this time

You groaned as you let your eyes trail up to the time. Eight in the morning... You hated being an idol.

After finally dragging yourself out of bed and getting dressed you made your way into the kitchen to find the others already up. Chae was standing at the stove cooking what smelled like pancakes. You let a content hum vibrate through your body and you pulled yourself a chair next to Nari. She glanced over at you, a teasing smile on her lips.

“Up last as always,” Nari commented. “You would think after all those punishments during our trainee days you would get up earlier.”

You shrugged and reached over to her plate, grabbing a grape from it.

“Can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” you said, plopping the grape in your mouth.

“Good morning Sunshine,” Chae said to you. You smiled at her brightly as she brought you a plate of pancakes.

“Thank you, Chae,” you said pleasantly. She hummed and picked up her own plate of food before joining them at the table.

“Chae was just saying that she thinks we should go to the gym more,” Nari said. You hummed through a mouthful of food.

“You think?”

Chae nodded surely, her fork bouncing in the air.

“Just to define our features a little more. By next year we should be finally adopting a bit more of a mature concept and it’ll be much healthier if we start now rather than later.”

Nari nodded her agreement, her cheeks stuffed with food, but Ai pouted.

“But our fans like Chae’s chubby cheeks,” she whined. You smiled and reached over to Chae, pinching her cheeks teasingly.

“We all love her chubby cheeks,” you said pleasantly. Chae just swatted your hands away. “Chae’s not saying we have to she’s just suggesting we do.”

“It doesn’t hurt to try,” Nari agreed after trying her food.

“What do you think?” Chae asked. The gym in an hour?”

You sighed, your thoughts tracing back to what Jihoon had texted you this morning.

“I can’t this morning,” you said, trying your best not to look too disappointed. “Jihoon and I convinced the company to let us put out a song and we agreed to work on it today.”

Ai let a dramatic pout cover her lips.

“You’ve changed!” She protested. “Choosing him over us.”

Even as she spoke, you were getting up, your food already finished.

“I’ll be there tomorrow, I promise,” you said. There was a shared displeased look among your roommates but you did your best to brush it off with a smile.

“Fighting!” You said, and then quickly ushered yourself out the door.

Today on your way to Jihoon’s studio you made sure to wear a baggy shirt that you had been seen in a million times, and you pulled on Jihoon’s hat (which you still hadn’t returned to him). You made a point not to mask up, and kept your head up so that your chance of being caught on your way to Jihoon’s studio were higher. You knew that there were always a lot of people waiting to catch people’s pictures at the studio, and just as you had hoped, you found yourself half covering your face on your way in just to make it seem like you didn’t want to be caught.

When you got to Jihoon’s studio you decided that being hesitant was a waste of time. It was nearly 9:30 at this point… Too early.

You knocked on the door and after only a second you heard a soft: “Come in.” echo from inside.

You pushed open the door and set your bag on the ground. Jihoon glanced over at you from where he was seated. He pressed his lips together at the sight of you.

“Round two?” You asked him as you went to take a seat where you had the day before. Your chair was still on the floor.

“Yeah,” he agreed.

Working with Jihoon was like trying to write on a chalkboard with black chalk. There was no point because absolutely nothing was going to come from it.

You two spent ages going back and forth about what the general song concept should be. When you couldn’t agree on just one thing you both decided to try and decide what the song should sound like, but even there you two were butting heads.

“I’m the producer, why won’t you say yes to my suggestions?”

“You’re not the only one who knows about producing Jihoon. I don’t like the sound of this, choose a different one.”

Lunch came and went and still nothing had been agreed upon. All you both knew for sure was that you two were going to write a song together.

Which meant you were practically at ground zero.

“This is pointless,” you groaned dropping your head on the table “You’re impossible to work with.”

Jihoon grunted his displeasure.

“Don’t slam your head on my desk.”

You peeked up at him, with a dumb smile on your face.

“Don’t want me to hurt myself?”

“Don’t want you to break my equipment,” he said back. “It costs more than you’ll ever make.”

You scoffed.

“Right I forgot. Lee Jihoon, Pledis’ own crown prince, yeah?” You said dryly. You sighed. “God, you’re so spoiled.”

You could see Jihoon clench his fists from under the table so you sat back up.

“Look. Concept. You don’t want first love? Fine. You don’t like honeymoon stage? Whatever.”

You racked your brain for something you two hadn’t thought of yet.

“What about a couple on the brink of a breakup.”

Jihoon opened his mouth, surely to shoot you down, but the words never came. He closed his mouth.

“A couple on the brink of a breakup,” he echoed. He seemed to ponder the idea, much more heavily than any of the other ideas you had offered up. “Is that convincing?”

You hummed.

“It gives off the air of a couple that has been together for a while,” you mumbled. “And it makes us seem a bit more real. We’re handling heavy topics. As long as we make it seem like we have some sort of resolution by the end... I’d say it’s relatable to long-term couples.”

Jihoon’s hand twitched over his keyboard.

“It’s not awful,” he said.

You felt your heart pick up its pace for just a second. As much as you hated him, Jihoon was a legend in the song-writing world. People praised him for how much he had been able to accomplish in such a short amount of time, never releasing a song that didn’t do well.

It felt exciting to get his approval.

“It’s a bit more mature than I would expect from someone like you.”

And there it was.

“Okay, what story are we trying to convey here?” He asked, changing the topic before you could start an argument with him. “What are our lyrics?”

Lyrics came about as good as one could expect. Thirty minutes and one argument later and you were storming out of the studio just like you had the first time. This time as you barged out you about ran into someone.

Your eyes widened and you opened your mouth to apologize but the words died on your lips when you saw who it was.

“Jeonghan?”

He didn’t look surprised to see you at all.

“Hungry?”

You and Jeonghan set up in a convenience shop not far from the studio and the company. A place you two came often as a result of the two of you never haven gotten caught there before.

You didn’t say a word to him until your instant ramen was ready and half hanging out of your mouth.

“We made some progress.”

Jeonghan sighed.

“Don’t eat with your mouth open,” he murmured. “Were you raised in a cave?”

You swallowed the rest of your noodles and stuck your tongue out at Jeonghan.

“It’s good you two are getting along,” Jeonghan hummed. You couldn’t help but notice his attention was focused on you- not his noodles.

“We’re not getting along. We made progress.” You took another large bite of your noodles and before fully swallowing them you added: “There’s a very big difference between those to distinctions.”

You swallowed your noodles.

“I just don’t get what’s up with him. He’s always like that with me. So stuck up and unapologetic.”

“That’s just how Jihoon comes off,” Jeonghan protested. “He’s like that with most of the people he doesn’t know.”

Jeonghan didn’t often defend Jihoon to you. Mostly because it was next to pointless. You had to admit your distaste for Jihoon was somewhat childish. You didn’t really listen to the good things people said about him. It just went in one ear and out the other.

“That’s bullshit Jeonghan,” you said. “To the other members he’s polite and conversational when he needs to be. But with me? He never even used to meet my eyes.”

Jeonghan looked away from you, a frustrated expression covering his face.

“Yeah but that wasn’t because he hated you.”

“Then what else could it be?” You challenged. “Because it sure felt like he hated me when he complimented everyone else in Starlight other then me.”

“He clearly got tongue tied,” Jeonghan argued.

“Because he had nothing good to say!” You said right back.

“That’s not what it is,” Jeonghan said. “You just don’t get it. You don’t know Jihoon like I do. You don’t know him at all.”

“What is there to know?” You asked. “All I need to know is that from the moment his eyes laid on me he hated me.”

Silence fell over Jeonghan. He still looked frustrated. He still clearly wanted to argue but he just looked away from you, down at his untouched noodles.

“Sure.”

At first you thought maybe he was finally frustrated by your distaste of his friend, but no… There was something else there. Something he was holding back.

“Jeonghan,” you started leaning towards the aforementioned boy. “Is there something you know that I don’t know?”

Jeonghan’s eyes flitted back to yours and he laughed.

“What would I know that is relevant to your relationship with Jihoon that I would hold back from you?” He asked you. It was convincing, for a second you actually almost dropped the topic. But there was something you caught in his eyes. Something that told you something wasn’t quite right.

“I don’t know. What are you not telling me?”

Jeonghan was not any easy person to beat in a battle of the wits. If Jeonghan wanted to keep something a secret there wasn’t anybody who could get him to come out with whatever he was hiding.

But something you also knew about Jeonghan was that if he had a secret that you wouldn’t be able to get out of him you wouldn’t know he had a secret anyways. You were his best friend. If anyone could get it out of him, it was you.

“Look you hate Jihoon, he hates you. Let’s move on,” Jeonghan said. You continued to stare at Jeonghan, watching as he feigned interest in his noodles. He picked up his chopsticks and toyed with the noodles.

“Jeonghan,” you said softly. “I won’t tell anyone. Come on. I’m your best friend.”

“I’ve been friends with Jihoon for much longer than I’ve been friends with you.”

You would have pouted had it not been for how revealing that statement was.

“So it’s a secret about Jihoon specifically. Something that he wouldn’t want to get out?” You pressed.

“It’s not my place to say,” Jeonghan replied but you could hear the strain in his voice. He was starting to crack under the pressure.

“Please Jeonghan. Who knows, maybe it will change my opinion of him even just a little.”

That was probably the biggest lie you could have told in that moment, and you knew that Jeonghan knew it was a lie, but despite that it ended up being the thing that broke Jeonghan’s resolve.

“It’s just...” He sighed. “I really shouldn’t tell you this.”

You smiled at him innocently, waiting for him to continue.

“Jihoon treated you differently then the others. Yes. But did you ever think about the things he did in a way separate of him hating you?”

Your eyebrows strewn slightly in confusion.

“Separate...?”

“He couldn’t make eye contact with you, yeah? He didn’t talk to you- in fact went out of his way to not to talk to you. He didn’t like interacting with you, he never knew what to say to you when he did talk to you-”

“Get to the point Jeonghan,” you interrupted. “I don’t need a reminder of how shitty he treats me.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Jeonghan continued, giving you a sharp look. “At least he didn’t used to.”

You scoffed.

“Then what could have possibly warranted the way he treated me?” You demanded. Jeonghan’s expression softened, and he shrugged.

“Jihoon used to have a crush on you.”

You stared at Jeonghan, looking for any trace on his face that he was joking. His expression stayed scarily serious.

“No, he didn’t,” you said pointedly. Jeonghan didn’t back down.

“Yes, he did.”

“No, he didn’t,” you argued. “He-”

You scrambled in your memory to find any behavior that Jihoon had exhibited early on- Something that proved that he had hated you from the beginning, but you were drawing blanks. Now that you thought about it, you had been the most confrontational to begin with. He hardly ever started things with you. He just fought back when you said something to him that was rude.

“I...” You trailed off. “He never said anything.” You looked up at Jeonghan. “You never said anything.”

“It wasn’t my place,” Jeonghan said with a shrug. “Besides you dug your own grave. I’ve never seen you lose your patience with someone as fast as you lose your patience with Jihoon.”

Finally, Jeonghan actually turned his attention to the noodles in front of him. You should have felt satisfied too, but instead you felt this heavy pit in your stomach that just wasn’t sitting right with you. You forced yourself to turn your attention back to your noodles, and tried to ignore what was bothering you.

Sleep was impossible and you knew exactly why. You couldn’t stop thinking about what Jeonghan had said.

Jihoon had liked you when you two first met?

You replayed all your interactions over and over again in your head and you hated that with both conclusions it made sense. If Jihoon was as introverted as everyone said it would make sense for him to be less extroverted towards you. If he was nervous he would naturally avoid you and- God, you hated to say it- Jihoon had always been a good idol. He kept his nose clean, stayed out of scandals. He was probably doing his best to avoid a dating one when he liked you.

You flipped over in your bed, smothering your face in your pillow.

God, wasn’t that why you hated him in the first place? Lee Jihoon. Mr. Perfect. Mr. Do no wrong. Everyone’s favorite golden child and you despised him for it. His fans fluffed his ego, his group mates boosted it, and this dumb company treated him like some untouchable man.

You groaned loudly.

What kind of reasons were those to hate someone? You hated him because people liked him? Because people believed in his abilities and their actions reflected that?

People pumped you up; Your fans talked about you like you were a literal angel from Heaven and nobody hated you for it.

Well, there was no one that outwardly hated you for it.

You turned back around staring blankly at the dark ceiling in front of you. You didn’t have time for some stupid existential crisis about stupid Lee Jihoon.

You hated him. You hated him. Nothing was going to change that.

And that’s why you told yourself. Again and again and again until finally your alarm went off and you had gotten absolutely no sleep at all.

For once you were up first of everyone in the Starlight dorm. You tied your hair back, putting on workout clothes and then wandered into the kitchen. You thought the least you could do if you were up this early was make breakfast.

It only took ten minutes before Chae made her way into the kitchen. Her appearance matched yours- hair back and workout clothes adorned. Her eyes widened when she saw you at the stove, taking in you and the sizzling eggs.

“You’re up early.”

You shrugged.

“What can I say? I didn’t sleep.”

She nodded.

“Makes sense.”

Chae came into the kitchen sliding past you to open the fridge. She peered at its contents, a hum leaving her mouth.

“We should go shopping,” she commented. Despite the fact she wasn’t look at you, you nodded.

“I noticed we’re running a bit low on supplies,” you agreed. She pulled out of the fridge and brandished a carton of cherries.

“Want to finish these with me?”

When Ai and Nari wandered into the room you were just finishing the eggs, and Chae was sitting on the kitchen counter, a empty cartoon of cherries and a napkin full of cherry pits the only thing between the two of you. Neither Ai and Nari looked bothered by that. “You’re already up?” Nari asked you.

“And you cooked breakfast!” Ai piped up. You shrugged off-handedly.

“Have to pick up the slack somehow.”

You were starting to wish you had never prodded Jeonghan to tell you Jihoon’s secret in the first place.

It was easy to hate someone that hated you too. That, in itself, gave you a justifiable reason to hate them. If for nothing else, for defense. But now- Knowing that to start he had never hated you at all you felt wrong. You felt mean and it was all you could think about.

From breakfast, to your workout with the others, to your dance practice, vocal lesson, and then all the way to Jihoon’s dumb studio to finish out the day you were replaying all of your interactions with him, over and over again until it made you dizzy to think about.

How had you been that mean to him all the time? Why had no one stopped you?

In your knowledge you had never had someone like you in a romantic way and the one time someone did you had decided you hated him?

You couldn’t help it. You felt bad.

You walked into Jihoon’s studio; this time failing to knock. You slowly cracked open the door and pulled it shut behind you. When Jihoon glanced back and saw you a grimace crossed his face.

“You shouldn’t just walk in here like you own the place,” he grumbled. You didn’t respond to him, you just walked over to him, which brought his attention up to your head where his hat was sitting. “And what have I said about touching my-”

Before he could finish you had plopped the hat securely on Jihoon’s head, doing your best not to look him in the eye. You wanted to apologize to him for all you did, but you still couldn’t shake this burning feeling in your chest when he talked to you like that.

Was it deserved?

… Apparently. But regardless it hurt your pride.

“What’s gotten into you today?” Jihoon asked. His eyes wouldn’t tear away from you. You bit your tongue. Be nice.

“Nothing,” you mumbled. “Shouldn’t we get to writing this song?”

Jihoon apparently disliked you being quiet more than he disliked you being mean. A smile crossed his lips and he leaned towards you.

“I never thought I’d see the day,” he said in awe.

You looked at him.

“See what day?”

“The day you finally shut up.”

You may have been apologetic for how you had behaved before but you certainly didn’t feel bad now.

“Are we going to get something done with the song today or are you going to waste your time in another dumb argument with me?” You demanded. Jihoon raised an amused eyebrow at your outburst.

“There you are,” he hummed. “Thought you had started to see me as a human or something.”

You scoffed.

“Can we focus so I can get out of here faster?” You asked bluntly. You grabbed a piece of paper and tapped a pencil to it. “Lyrics.”

There was one thing that you two could agree with when it came to these lyrics. The song was going to echo that of Shawn Mendes and Camillo Cabello’s song I Know What You Did Last Summer. An overlapping duet showing both sides of the story and being able to match similar emotions between the two during the chorus.

“We both have to agree about how the two feel about each other,” you said softly.

“I’m not the one afraid to agree with you on something,” Jihoon retorted. You took a large breath in and then let it out.

“I think that despite feeling the pull to stray from one another they ultimately love one another.”

“Pull to stray from one another?” Jihoon asked with a wrinkle of his nose. You sighed heavily.

“What’s wrong with that?”

He shrugged it off.

“Just sounds like a toxic relationship.”

“I never said it was going to be a healthy one,” you retorted. “Besides it’s not toxic sometimes people think and do stupid things they don’t mean when they are desperate. I think the two are desperate for one another’s love and something is drawing them apart and causing them to want to do things they shouldn’t.”

Jihoon stared at you.

“You’ve clearly never been in love with someone before,” he commented. Your face blazed red.

“Lee Jihoon I swear-”

There was a knock at the door and as quick as you had been to raise your voice at Jihoon you pushed yourself into Jihoon’s lap, wrapping your legs around his torso.

“Come in!” You called, making sure to make your voice ultra-giggly. When it was Jeonghan who opened the door, you breathed out in relief.

“I fucking thought-”

You stopped yourself from talking and instead focused on climbing out of Jihoon’s lap, making a point to dramatically wipe yourself off as if to get his germs off. He rolled his eyes.

“You climbed into my lap, may I remind you.”

You shot him an unamused glare and turned to Jeonghan.

“What are you doing here?” You asked him. He shrugged.

“I was bored,” he commented. “How’s the song going?”

You and Jihoon both glanced at each other, and that glance must have told Jeonghan everything he needed to know.

“You two are hopeless,” he said with a sigh.

Dates with Jihoon weren’t getting easier, in fact being around him at all wasn’t getting any easier. Every time that you tried to just go back to the way things were- the more you tried to find amusement in teasing him, or say that something he did was stuck-up like you used to it just died in your mouth.

You had been too hard on him in the past. He wasn’t that bad.

You hated to admit that. You wanted to go back to just blindly hating him, but you were starting to see him differently than you were used to.

Your chest heaved up and down as you slid down the wall of the practice room, placing your hand dramatically over your chest.

“Wow, you are giving up first?” Chae teased, amusement dancing in her eyes. “Usually you’re the one pushing the rest of us to do better.”

You gave her half a glare.

“I was up late with Jihoon last night. No wonder he’s always so tired. He was still in the studio when I left. Does he do anything but work?” You asked. Chae laughed.

“People always say that he’s a working machine. Haven’t you heard the jokes that he would never have a dating scandal because he’s always locked up in his studio?”

You had heard people saying he would never be caught in a dating scandal but you had never realized that was why. Your brain scrambled back to all the times people had muttered it and you had just completely ignored the second part of the statement, mumbling that clearly he was heartless for never giving his friends any of his time.

You had actually learned in the last few days that Jihoon made a lot of time for his friends. Whenever you came over he was kicking Mingyu out of the studio for it, and it wasn’t uncommon for one of the other boys (Soonyoung, mostly) to come in while you two were working to offer you two food. Jihoon had even once ended you two’s brainstorming session (incessant arguing) to go and have a dinner with the entire rest of the group.

You had always thought he was cold to other people- Another reason you had disliked him, but now you were starting to think that had been a rash conclusion to come to. Observations when your groups interacted (now that you had to actively pretend like you didn’t hate him, you were forced to recognize things he did that didn’t make you angry) had brought you to the startling realization that he wasn’t cold- he was just as Jeonghan had hinted at. He was shy. An introvert. He just didn’t really open up to people unless it was his boys.

This was easy, so much easier before. It was fucking Lee Jihoon. You didn’t like Lee Jihoon.

You and Jihoon walked, hand-in-hand down the sidewalk, both holding your silence as you headed to the restaurant you were crashing today. Normally the silence would have your blood boiling but this time you were filled with something you were getting uncomfortably used to... Guilt.

“You know, this is stupid,” you mumbled. Jihoon glanced at you.

“You’re the one always saying we have to be convincing. You think I want to hold your hand?”

You suppressed your urge to scream. Your anger towards him at the statement being consumed by your guilt.

“It’s not that. It’s stupid that we are always dead silent when we’re hanging out,” you said. “What’s the point in that? How long are we going to be fake dating?”

Jihoon was silent for a few moments.

“Exactly. I know all we do is argue but we might as well... Talk.”

Another few seconds passed before Jihoon replied.

“You want us to be friends?”

This time there was an edge missing in Jihoon’s voice. You felt like his tone had become softer than you were used to. His usually curtness gone. It felt, sincere. You forced out a laugh.

“No,” you blurted out before you could stop yourself. ”God, no, I just think that we could be like... I don’t know enemies that can confide in one another.”

God, that sounded stupid.

“Okay.”

Jihoon shrugged.

“Better than silence I guess.”

Unfortunately, he didn’t start the conversation. You two walked a few steps as you forced yourself to start the conversation.

You couldn’t help the way you internally cursed Jihoon for being entitled, thinking that you needed to start the conversation, but even as you did you criticized yourself for the thought. Why did you blindly dislike him so much? Was it just because you were embarrassed to have been wrong all this time?

“Uh, how was your day?” You started. He looked at you.

“Creative,” he commented. That in itself made you want to take back the question but before you could he was talking: “It was fine.”

You waited for more and when he didn’t continue you felt the fingers on your free hand curl into a ball.

“Tell me what you did today,” you suggested.

“Uh, slept in until Seungkwan woke me up for practice,” his tone of his voice was annoyed but a glance at him told you he didn’t really mind it. “Practice was fine. There were cameras so Seokmin and Soonyoung were goofing off a lot.”

“Cameras at practice?” You asked.

“For behind the scenes stuff,” Jihoon elaborated. You nodded in recognition, falling silent again so Jihoon could go on. “Then Mingyu wanted to play some games, but I had to work on music…”

He trailed off and a smile crossed his lips.

“But sometimes Mingyu wins so we played games until I had to come here.”

It took a second to process what he had said.

“You didn’t work today?” You asked, your eyebrows furrowing. He hummed.

“No.”

He didn’t elaborate on it, making it seem like it was something that happened often but knowing what you knew about him you didn’t think it was. Still, you didn’t want to press it or call him a liar. You had to stop jumping to conclusions with him. You didn’t know him.

“What did you do today?” Jihoon asked, seeming to want to shift the attention away from himself. You sighed.

“Chae wants us to start working out in the morning,” you said. “So I have to wake up early and go work out and it’s so exhausting.”

Jihoon laughed.

“Ah, can’t handle a few push ups?” He teased. Usually when he said things like that to you there was an edge to his voice, but this time it wasn’t there.

“Look, I’m no Wonwoo,” you replied. “I wasn’t built to workout.”

You let a smile cross your face, one that was actually a little real.

“Today I really just spent time with Starlight. I mean, no cameras on us but we had practice and things. Felt like I was a trainee all over again.”

“There’s something to be said about our trainee days,” Jihoon said. “I am glad to have debuted but we spent so much time pushing for debut that we didn’t really appreciate how fun it is to be a trainee.”

You looked over at him to see a contemplative expression on his face. You turned away from him, warmth crawling up your face.

“Yeah,” you agreed. You looked up, relieved when you saw your destination. “Great we can stop holding hands.”

You pulled your hand away from his abruptly, and picked up your walking pace.

“Let’s get this date over fast, I have to be up early again tomorrow.”

Jihoon rolled his eyes at your sudden behavior. You heard him murmur something under his breath but you weren’t sure what. You just focused on reminding yourself that just because you shouldn’t hate him didn’t mean you needed to like him as a person.

Indifference was okay.

“How’s this?” You held up the paper you had been scribbling on, a few lines scripting out how you thought the first verse (your verse) of the song should go. Jihoon fell silent as he read over the lyrics.

“You know...” He trailed off and you watched his eyes read it again. “This is actually pretty good. I was actually going for a similar idea in my verse. The concept of the relationship feeling so broke the temptation of cheating is present.”

“Oh, can I read what you have?”

Jihoon nodded and slid the paper towards you, his eyes still on the lyrics.

“The halls of this house echo when you aren’t around. When I’m at the club I get the attention I crave,” he read a loud. “I really like this part but maybe omit the club for something else? The club takes me out of it for some reason.”

“I like the club,” you replied. “It’s like I’m going radically out of my way to get attention. Different than just going to dinner with friends and feeling tempted there. Only desperate people go to clubs.”

Jihoon nodded.

“Maybe.”

“It’s interesting to compare your anger to a flame,” you commented as you read through his verse. “A flame is so often akin to desire, do you think that would be confusing?”

Jihoon blinked.

“Maybe.” He was silent for a few beats, seeming to try to think about what else to put there. “I like the idea though, that thinking about you while I’m at work not only unlocks my desire for you but also others. It shows I still have affection for you even when I am pulling away.”

You didn’t respond just ran your eyes over the words.

“Let me-” Jihoon leaned closed to you, his shoulder brushing yours. Normally you would yell at him for getting so uncomfortably close to you but after all the time you two had spent holding hands and sitting close to each other on “dates” you had gotten used to being close to him. “Here at the end I’ll tag on I look in those eyes and I forget what I promised to you. It repeats how you finish your verse and we can segue both verses into a pre-chorus which we can alternatively sing.”

As he spoke he grabbed your paper.

“Something that echoes with itself. Like...” He thought about it for a few moments. “I wish it wasn’t this way and I echo How did we get here?”

For some reason, your mind immediately filled what you thought should be next.

“Oh! Do you miss my touch? And you echo It’s been too long to say.”

Jihoon didn’t argue with you like you had briefly thought he would. Instead, he immediately began to scribble what you had said down.

“That’s good,” he praised, and again your heart sped up a little at the words of affirmation.

“I want to feel bad but there’s nothing there,” he continued.

“Wish you were here,” you added. Jihoon stopped writing after he wrote what you had said. His eyebrows strewn in concentration as he read over the verses you two had written along with the chorus. As he read over it, his pencil bounced between his fingers.

You were so on edge about what he was going to say, you were afraid to speak.

“This is good,” he finally said. “Maybe we’ll think it’s worse tomorrow, I think we should take a break and come back to it.”

Even though Jihoon was often trying to cut your brain storming sessions short, you felt a little disappointed. You thought that you two were doing good bouncing off of each other, but you didn’t complain. Anytime away from Jihoon was good in itself.

You nodded and began to collect your things.

… Right?

“So, I guess we have to work together on this again tomorrow?” You said, forcing a sigh out of your lips. Jihoon didn’t look at you- God, you hated when he didn’t look at you- And instead set aside the lyrics you two had been working on to turn his attention back to his computer.

“Whenever you want.”

And before you could say more, he was slipping his headphones on over his ears, and had turned his attention completely to his work. You watched him for a moment, noticing the way his entire demeanor changed now that he was able to work alone again. His shoulders slacked, his attention turned... You felt like you could start screaming and he wouldn’t even register the action he was already so focused on his work.

You had always admire hard working people. You had spent so long chasing something to be passionate about that people who knew what they were meant to do in their lives made you something akin to envious.

You forced yourself to turn your attention away from Jihoon again, murmuring a goodbye to a boy who wasn’t listening as you slid out the door.

You and Ai giggled as you snuck down the halls of the dorm to the community kitchen. She clicked the door open and you shushed her as you two pushed into the room. You rushed over to the pantries and slid open the door, starting to grab a few of the snacks from the pantry and shove them into Ai’s arms.

“Soda, please grab soda,” Ai hissed. Your mouth dropped into an ‘o’ and you ducked down, trying to find four cans of soda. As you scrambled to grab all the items required for a well-deserved movie night with your absolutely favorite group of people in the world you heard voices.

You and Ai turned to each other, eyes wide.

“Shit,” you mumbled. You grabbed a grocery bag and thrust it towards Ai. She immediately knew what you wanted and dumped all of the things in her arms into the bag. Just before the door opened you and Ai turned to face it, the bag stored safely behind you in your hands. The door opened and you were surprised to find a familiar mop of hair dip into the room.

“Oh, Jihoon,” you said suddenly unable to hide your astonishment. Jihoon’s eyes widened a little at the sight of you.

“Hey-” His eyes flitted towards Ai. “What are you two doing here?”

He gestured for you to come greet him but you just smiled at him, pretending to not notice as to keep the bag in your hands a secret.

“We were just walking around, thinking about snacking,” you said innocently. Ai nodded next to you over exaggeratedly. Behind Jihoon another face ducked in- Soonyoung, and you and Ai forced even bigger smiles on your faces.

“Oh, hi Soonyoung,” you greeted ducking your head. He smiled back at you.

“You two are up late,” he commented. “Jihoon said that you have workouts early usually, not planning to get much sleep?”

You couldn’t help but be stuck on that.

Jihoon said that you…

That was such an odd statement for you to hear coming out of anyone’s mouth really. The thought that Jihoon talked about you in a positive manner, the thought that he would say something about you in such a casual manner as such as talking about how you workout in the mornings.

Your nose scrunched.

“Jihoon said...” You trailed off, despite the fact your voice was hardly loud enough to be heard in the first place. After a few more seconds of you trying to figure out what it meant that Jihoon had said that to Soonyoung Ai was elbowing you in the side.

You blinked.

“Oh, uh, tomorrow’s our break day,” you said. “So we don’t have to get up as early.”

Soonyoung seemed a little taken aback by your statement (that being said, so did Jihoon but you were trying not to look at him), but nodded regardless.

“That’s nice.”

Silence fell between the two groups and your mind raced as you tried to figure out how to get you and Ai out of this kitchen.

“What are you two doing?” You asked. “Jihoon’s not spending the night at the studio?”

“Don’t worry I dragged him out today,” Soonyoung said with a wink. “Jealous of his relationship with his music?”

You let a very serious expression cross your face.

“Extremely,” you said. You forced yourself to look at Jihoon, a pout crossing your face. “I see you’ll leave the studio to go on a date with Soonyoung, but not with me.”

Jihoon’s briefly let an air of surprise cross through his eyes.

“I’ll make time for you if you want,” he said softly. “I didn’t know you wanted to go on more dates.”

God, you two were doing a great job at surprising one another tonight. You took a sharp breath, your eyes darting back to the ground.

“We should probably leave you two,” you said, giving Soonyoung an apologetic smile. “Don’t want to intrude.”

“You’re not intruding,” Soonyoung assured. “We’re just getting Jihoon’s favorite kind of noodles.”

He hesitated and for a second time stopped. You could feel the air in the room go stiff as everyone in the room waited for you to fill in the details of what Jihoon’s favorite kind of noodles were. Your mind raced, sure that you had heard it before.

“I keep telling you that black bean noodles are not a dessert food,” you cooed teasingly. A small smile crossed Jihoon’s lips.

“You won’t let me have anything will you?” He asked.

It was funny, how you two had fallen into this odd relationship. One where you two were able to act so much like you actually did have a relationship with each other. To you (you couldn’t say if this was the same for Jihoon at all) your interactions still felt clunky at best. It was like the things that you tried to make cute with one another were so forced that it was obvious that you were faking.

But despite that feeling an excited sound left Soonyoung’s mouth. He threw his arm around Jihoon’s shoulder and teasingly rubbed Jihoon’s head.

“You want your significant other to feed you instead of me?”

“They’re busy,” Jihoon negated. His eyes turned back to yours. “I’ll see you soon at the studio.”

You nodded.

Finally, Ai began to make her way up to the door of the kitchen and you followed. She squeezed past the two boys and as you passed Jihoon you leaned forward, pressing a frantic kiss to Jihoon’s cheek.

“Okay, love you,” you said briefly. He mumbled it back to you and you two pushed back into the hallway. As soon as you two were far enough down the hall Ai began to laugh.

“Thank god it was just your boyfriend,” she laughed. You forced a laugh to come out of your mouth too, trying to focus on what she said instead of the fact that you had just kissed Jihoon’s cheek. You would never get used to kissing Jihoon. “You distracted him very well.”

“Well, he is my boyfriend,” you said cheekily. “If I can’t distract him, who can?”

“What have you got for the chorus?” Jihoon asked. You groaned, shoving your face into the desk.

“I just got here, I don’t know!” You complained. You lifted your head up and shot Jihoon a dramatic pout. “What do you have for the chorus?”

Jihoon raised an unamused eyebrow.

“You were the one who made a big deal about actually collaborating on this song,” he commented. “What did you say again? Your fans-”

“God, you’re so annoying,” you murmured back. “You think you’re right about everything?”

Normally, Jihoon would get frustrated when you made blanket statements like that, but you had noticed that recently the statements just made him roll his eyes.

“You’re quick to resort to insults,” he commented. You bit back the urge to prove his point. It was hard not to insult him when talking to him recently had made your heart act so erratically. You had gotten to dislike being around him so much that it made your heart race when he spoke to you. Insulting him was the best way for you to deal with the way he made your heart feel. Made you feel less helpless.

You leaned forward and took the paper from the last time you two had been together and began to look at the lyrics. You began to softly murmur the lyrics under your breath, trying to figure out what to add next.

“Wish you were here, happy you aren’t,” you said. “What about something about the amount of space between us? The divide grows and this becomes comfortable.”

Your nose wrinkled at the lyrics but Jihoon was already writing it down, so you assumed that meant he approved. In the pit of your stomach you, once again, were feeling a bit annoyed. If he liked it after all, he should say something about it.

“All of this space, were we ever really meant to be?” You were mostly trying it out, but again, Jihoon was writing it before you were even sure that you liked it. Was that a good thing?

“It was so easy to forget you,” Jihoon said. “I miss you. Do I even really miss you?”

You hummed.

“I like that. I like how a lot of the lyrics are contradictory,” you murmured. “I think unreliable narrators are interesting. Makes you think a lot.”

Jihoon glanced up to you, eyebrows furrowed.

“Unreliable narrators?”

“Like Nick Carraway,” you replied. “The Great Gatsby?”

“You’ve read the Great Gatsby,” Jihoon said, surprise sprinkled in his voice. He turned his body towards you, letting his pencil dip down to the paper. Your heart jumped again. Probably because he clearly didn’t think you were educated enough to have read The Great Gatsby.

“Of course, I have,” you said indignantly. “You think I don’t read?”

“I’m surprised because it sounds like you like it,” Jihoon wrote off. You nodded, glancing away from him.

“I did like it. Nick being an unreliable narrator is just really entertaining to me. You don’t know if what he says in the book is completely true or not,” you said.

“That’s what I don’t like about it,” Jihoon agreed. “His perspective is so biased that it doesn’t give us sufficient details of the story.

“Exactly, in real life you never get every detail of every story. That’s what draws me in so much. What would I think about the characters if the story was told by Daisy or Jay?”

You stretched out your arms, your muscles aching from all the pushups that Chae had made you do today.

“That’s what I like so far about this song,” you continued. “We’re both unreliable. We don’t really know what we want, but we are the ones who know our relationship best. If we don’t even have reliable feelings how are we supposed to have a reliable relationship? I’m curious to see if our fans will really root for us.”

When you looked back at Jihoon he was still staring at you intently. There was no trace of annoyance or disagreement in his eyes. Simply a curious look. You cleared your throat.

“So, the bridge,” you said. Jihoon’s eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly, but he didn’t say anything.

“Right, the bridge.”

You sat in silence as you watched Seventeen run their most recent song again. The song concept was darker than some of them. The dance moves rapid, but deliberate (something that fans had come to expect from them). The minute the cameras were on them the boys looked like they were doing the dance effortlessly. If it weren’t for those moments when the cameras weren’t on you would think that they were inhuman.

“How do they do it?” Nari asked in awe. You glanced at her.

“They’ve got so many years on us,” you replied softly. “It makes sense that they would be like this.”

“Perfect,” Ai said dreamily.

“Driven,” Chae corrected. “Like we should be.”

As the four of you spoke the boys broke apart for a break. You watched as Jihoon and Hansol stepped away from the group, looking exhausted. You noticed the other boys getting water but Jihoon was too busy talking to Hansol about something to do it.

Before you could really think through your actions, you were getting up from the floor. Your fingers grabbed at the water bottle that you had barely touched and you rushed over to Jihoon.

“I think that if we switch on the third count instead of the fourth count it...” Jihoon trailed off as you came into view, a confused expression crossing his face. You didn’t want to offer him any explanation. You didn’t even know why you were over there.

You pushed the water bottle into his hands.

“You’re doing amazing,” you forced yourself to say. Jihoon’s lips quirked up into half a smile.

“I must be lucky to have you dotting over me,” he said. Again, he was using that tone that made you want to curl up in a ball and scream, but as you forced yourself to ignore the color rapidly rising to your face you also forced yourself to notice that there was no malintent in his eyes.

In fact, you dared say he actually seemed to be a bit happy.

He unscrewed the water bottle.

“Thank you.”

You nodded and turned away from him, catching Jeonghan’s gaze in the meantime. Your face blazed even darker in color but you knew avoiding him would only make this more embarrassing.

“Want to catch a snack?” He asked you as you approached. You nodded.

Once you two were in the hallway, Jeonghan’s trademark teasing smile was spread all over his face.

“Playing the dotting partner, hm?” Jeonghan observed lightly.

“You said be convincing,” you said, noting that your voice sounded a little desperate. Jeonghan shrugged.

“I could be off base here,” Jeonghan said. “Though I rarely am… It seems to me you don’t really hate him anymore.”

You were silent for a minute and at first your mind just raced, trying to come up with convincing ways to negate what he had said. When nothing convincing came to mind you had to settle for what you desperately didn’t want to admit.

He was right.

“Why did you let me hate him for so long?” You asked with a sigh. “He’s nothing like I always claimed he was.”

Jeonghan shrugged.

“You’re stubborn,” he said pointedly. “You wouldn’t have listened to reason.”

“It was stupid,” you mumbled. “I’m so stupid. Why can’t he just be a terrible person like I always thought he was?”

“Maybe you should voice that to him,” Jeonghan suggested. “He’s so nice he would probably pretend just for you.”

A dumb pout spread over your face fast.

“What am I supposed to do now Jeonghan? I’m supposed to hate him.”

“You’re being dramatic-“ Jeonghan gave you a look of frustration. “Does the world end if you don’t hate Lee Jihoon?”

You toyed anxiously with your fingers, your eyebrows strewn in concentration as you tried to sort through your thoughts.

You were hopeful that your immense concentration wasn’t that concerning. After all, you had been informed recently that you needed to beginning preparing for your groups comeback along with preparing the solo song for your group.

And yet, that wasn’t the reason your mind was racing and unfortunately, that was evident.

“Busy thinking about Jihoon?” Chae tore you out of your thoughts, your eyebrows raising in surprise.

“What?”

“You haven’t seen him in a few days,” Chae said before you could completely misconstrue the question. “Well, not in private at least. Is he not making time for you?”

Truth be told, you were avoiding Jihoon as best you could. While he had approached you a few times about meeting up and finally figuring out what your song was going to sound like, you had promptly named any excuse you could to get out if it.

He was clearly confused by your sudden behavior… Probably because it clearly wasn’t due to distaste for him. It had been a while since you had actually treated Jihoon like you hated him. Insults towards him died on your tongue or didn’t come to your mind at all. And in times where you would normally be short with him- when he didn’t pay enough attention to you, or when you two weren’t agreeing on something- you had been patient. You had grown accustomed to trying to live more on his pace.

You knew that he knew your attitude towards him had changed and that’s what made it all worse.

The world didn’t end when you stopped hating Lee Jihoon. The world ended when you had to admit to Lee Jihoon that your behavior over the last few years that you had known him had been childish and unwarranted. You hated to be wrong.

Jesus, that was childish too.

“Jihoon’s been fine,” you said reluctantly. “Great even, he’s always so nice and understanding and perfect.”

You were doing a bad job at hiding your frustration.

“I’ve just been stupid about something and I’m going to have to own up to it at some point and I don’t want to.”

You couldn’t help the way that you sunk further into the couch, your lips turned down in a pout. Chae laughed, elbowing you in the side.

“You? Own up to someone?” Chae said, not even bothering to hide her surprise. “You must really love him or something. You’ve never been that emotionally mature.”

You shot her a glare making her laugh.

“I’m kidding,” she admonished. “Geez, why are you so worried about it? If Jihoon is so nice and perfect than he’ll be understanding.”

She shrugged.

“All relationships have their ups and downs, you’re only human. I’m sure Jihoon doesn’t care.”

And thus launched your next mission.

“What kinds of things does Jihoon like?” You asked. Jeonghan looked up at you from where his head was in your lap. His eyes narrowed towards you.

“That’s a weird thing to ask.”

You let a pout cross your lips.

“You think I like this?” You demanded. You looked away, your face burning red. “I hate apologizing. I’m never the one in the wrong. This fucking sucks.”

Jeonghan snickered.

“Starlight’s golden child,” he teased. “What’s apologizing got to do with knowing what things he likes? Why don’t you just look it up on member profiles?”

You groaned burying your fingers in your hair.

“That’s what fans know. You’re his friend, you can tell me the intimate details!”

“It’s not easy to win over Lee Jihoon,” Jeonghan replied. He sat up from your lap and pulled his legs under himself as he turned to face you on the couch.

“You’ve got to help me,” you pleaded, turning to face him as well. You took his hands. “Please please please please you’re the only one that can help me! You’re the only one who knows.”

Jeonghan sighed.

“I can’t promise it will help. I never hear Jihoon talking bad about you but it can’t be exactly comforting that his first real crush since idol-hood hated him.”

You felt that guilt ping through your chest again.

“Jeonghan,” you whined. “Help me.”

You pulled your legs under your body.

“I’m pathetic. I’m helpless. I hate this. Help me.”

Jeonghan chuckled, shaking his head.

“You know I love it when you beg.”

You were so hopeless you didn’t even care.

“You can win over Jihoon the same way that you would win over anyone. Show him you care. His top receiving love languages are gift giving and words of affirmation. You’ve spent all this time tearing him down, yeah? Start building him up. When you gave Jihoon that water bottle, that was perfect. You gave him a compliment and you gave him something. Showed you care. Keep that up and he’ll be wrapped around your pretty little finger.”

You weren’t supposed to meet up with Jihoon today, but you had your blood pumping with excitement towards getting him to like you that you couldn’t help but show up at his studio today.

You were nervous- standing there in front of his studio door with an americano in your hand but what better did you have to do anyway? The girls were all doing things today and Jeonghan was refusing to hang out with you until you figured shit out with Jihoon because he was tired of him being the only thing you talked about.

You sucked in a sharp breath.

Here goes nothing.

You pushed open the door to Jihoon’s studio, popping your head in to see if anyone was there. Luckily, the usually present Mingyu was missing and the only one that was in the room was Jihoon. Normally, he didn’t notice when you showed up in his room, but Jihoon’s headphones were noticeably absent.

“Mingyu I told you-”

His head turned and his eyes flickered to you, his words dying on his tongue.

“Oh. Hey, what are you doing here?” He said. He set down his pencil and turned his chair to face you more fully. You smiled nervously.

“I brought a peace offering.”

You held up the cup of coffee you had brought.

“I know that we hate each other but...” You trailed off. But what? Why did you start this that way? Why did you bring up the fact that you two hate each other? “Well, everyone likes coffee.”

You stood at the door unsurely, not really sure if he would even want you in his studio or not. After all this time, did you really deserve to spend time with him? You had been awful.

“Everyone does like coffee,” Jihoon agreed. “I need a break anyways. The music isn’t really writing itself.”

You closed the door behind you and wandered over to Jihoon, setting the coffee on the desk.

“You mean music prodigy Jihoon has trouble writing music?” You physically flinched. “I don’t know why I said that.”

Jihoon looked away from you, picking up the coffee. You noticed that he did have a small smile on his lips.

“Why don’t you let me hear it?” You asked, taking a seat next to him. “What’s wrong with it?”

Jihoon took a sip of the drink and then set it down.

“It just sounds wrong,” he replied. He turned his attention back to the computer. He clicked a few things and then handed you his headphones. You stared at them, unsure of what he wanted you to do with them. He looked at you, raising his eyebrow. “Put them on?”

“Oh-”

You took them from his hands and slid them over your ears. As soon as they were secure music started to play in your ears.

There was something to be said about Jihoon. You had always avoided listening to his music- simply on the principle that you hated him and thus should hate everything he stood for. But when you had listened to his music it had just made you angrier. How could someone so awful be so talented?

And now, without the buffer of actively forcing yourself to hate his music, things were different.

“You think this is bad?” You asked, sliding the headphones off your ears. Jihoon’s eyes widened.

“You haven’t finished.”

“I don’t really need to- Jihoon this is amazing.”

You lifted the headphones back to your ears.

“Play it again.”

He obliged, and the second time around it sounded even better. The music was soft, the notes working their way in your ears so delicately it was like you were being embraced in a hug. How he had managed to capture such an intimate feeling simply with sound was beyond you.

“What’s the song supposed to be about?” You asked. He shrugged.

“Falling in love?” He replied. “But not that complicated, you’re not really sure how you feel type of thing. Falling in love when you both know right from the start that you like each other. Falling in love when there’s not question where you’re going.”

You put the headphones back on again, your eyes flitting to the ground. Jihoon didn’t have to be asked to play the song again, and this time you could feel it like a buzzing running through your body.

“You’re amazing- Did you know that? This is amazing,” you said and you meant it. You weren’t just saying it because you thought you needed to win him over. “This is insane. How could you write something so amazing- So perfect- And think it wasn’t good enough?”

Jihoon’s face reddened a little and he looked away from you.

“It could use some work,” he said. “Aren’t you the one always saying that I’m not perfect?”

“Maybe I changed my tune,” you replied.

This was it. This was the perfect opportunity. You could do it right now. Just apologize. Just apologize.

“I should get going,” you replied. “The coffee delivery was the goal.”

You stood up, handing Jihoon back the headphones.

“Good luck.”

The next time you decided to visit Jihoon, Mingyu was in his studio. This time instead of coffee you had decided to bring along some tteboki thinking it would be a good snack.

“You didn’t bring me any?” Mingyu asked with a pout. You rolled your eyes lightly.

“You’re not my boyfriend,” you said pointedly. “Jihoon is.”

Mingyu still whined as you took the food over to Jihoon, setting it on his desk. Normally Jihoon would yell at you as you shifted his papers around.

“What’s this for?” Jihoon asked. You shrugged.

“Jeonghan says you’re always so busy working all day that you forget to eat.”

Again Jihoon’s eyebrows shot up at your words.

“So, I thought I could make this a reminder. You should eat.”

Jihoon’s eyebrows were strewn in thought as he poked through the bag to see what you had brought.

“Black bean tteboki?” He asked.

“You love black bean noodles.” You glanced back at Mingyu. “I don’t know why I’m justifying what I bought you. I know you’ll like it.”

There was a really awkward silence that filled the room. So you cleared your throat.

“I’ll get out of your hair,” you said. You walked back to the door sending a wave towards Mingyu. “I’ll bring you something too next time.”

“Don’t bother.”

Your eyes ripped back to Jihoon who was already bringing out his chopsticks to eat what you had brought him.

“Things like that are wasted on Mingyu.” He smiled. “Thanks.”

You nodded and left the room, smiling at the protests that were escaping Mingyu’s mouth at the prospect of you not buying food for him and definitely not smiling because it felt nicer to have Jihoon smile at you then it did to make him upset with you.

“Your boyfriend is staying up late in the studio again,” Soonyoung complained. You looked up at him from where you were stretching.

“Come again?”

“Every night this week, Lee Jihoon has slept in the studio. Mingyu is getting insufferable. He spends every night with me.”

You snickered at the prospect of Kim Mingyu staying the night with Soonyoung, but Soonyoung’s expression stayed serious.

“You’ve got to get him out of there.”

“Me?” You blurted. “What will I be able to do?”

Soonyoung gestured towards you.

“You two are dating!” He replied. “If anyone can get him to get out of the studio you can.”

You knew that wasn’t true. You and Jihoon were fake dating for crying out loud.

But Soonyoung didn’t know that, and you had to make this be as convincing as possible. You had been so grateful when you two got to cut down the amount of fake dates that you two had to go on. The media was long convinced your relationship was real after all- what self-respecting idols faked a relationship in this industry. The worst part about this was that you had to keep this charade up to everyone else too.

You couldn’t just tell Soonyoung that Jihoon would never listen to you. So instead, here you stood, right outside of his stupid studio door for the millionth time this week.

You had brought him food, and coffee, a trinket for his desk. You had been here everyday and it wasn’t even to write the song with him.

And here you were again. Fuck.

You peeked your head into Jihoon’s studio, again not even bothering to knock on the door. Jihoon was sitting at his desk, headphones on his ears, spinning a pencil around his fingers. You closed the door quietly behind you and walked up to him, tapping him on the shoulder.

Jihoon jumped, taking a sharp breath at the sudden touch. He looked back at you and his eyes shut.

“It’s just you,” he breathed. He lowered his headphones. “What are you doing here this late?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” You asked. You pushed aside some of his things and hopped up on his desk. He raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment on it if he didn’t like it. “What are you doing working so late?”

“I’ve only got a little bit more to do,” he replied. He gestured towards his computer making you chew on your bottom lip unsurely. Jihoon was going to kill you if you did what you needed to do. He was going to kill you.

“How does this program work? Does it save as you go?” You asked. Jihoon shook his head.

“No, but I just saved it a few seconds-”

And before Jihoon could finish seeking you ran your fingers around the edge of the desktop and clicked the power button. Jihoon’s computer screen flickered to black, and there was a few seconds that felt like years in which neither of you said anything.

“Y/n.”

Was it hot in here? It felt hot in here.

“You have to go to bed!” You protested immediately. You started to back away from Jihoon. “You said that everything was saved! It’s okay I didn’t ruin anything and now you can get up and go to bed-”

“You can’t just turn off my computer!” Jihoon exclaimed. “What made you think you could just turn off my computer?”

“I had to resort to drastic measures,” you hissed back. “You’re unreasonable when you’re working.”

“I’m unreasonable?” Jihoon asked with an indignant scoff. “How am I unreasonable? You are the one who turned my computer off.”

You had been certain that you had seen Jihoon mad before. You had been certain that all of those times that you two had been fighting before he had been angry but seeing him right now? You realized whatever emotion he had then was completely different then what you were seeing in him now. His face was red, his eyes were wide, you could tell that he was struggling to keep his voice to a reasonable level.

At least he was trying not to kill you.

“You have to go to bed,” you said, your lips falling into a pout. “Please everyone thinks I can get you to bed and I can’t exactly tell everyone that I have no real say over what you do because we aren’t really dating! You’ve left me no choice.”

Jihoon stood up and pointed at his black computer screen.

“You had a choice.”

You stared at Jihoon, not really sure what you needed to do next. You didn’t have a mask that you could put on. You didn’t have a lie you could tell or an insult you could throw at him to make him change trajectory. You just stood there, clasping your hands behind your back giving him the most pathetic pout you could muster.

“I know that I haven’t done much for you,” you said softly. “But let me do this? Just this one thing, right now. Come with me. Go to sleep.”

Your voice dropped a little quieter.

“Don’t be mad at me?”

Jihoon held his air of anger for a few seconds, still staring at you like he wanted to hit something and then, his shoulders dropped. He raised his hands in the air in surrender.

“I’m not mad,” he said, turning his eyes away from you. “How could I be mad? If the boys wanted you to get me to sleep you had no choice.”

He reached over to a notebook that laid opened on his desk and flipped it closed.

“You win. I’ll sleep.”

He picked up his phone and slipped it into his back pocket. When he turned back around his eyes met yours again.

“Turn off my computer again?” He asked. “I will not be this understanding.”

You nodded.

“Learned my lesson,” you said, but you couldn’t help the smile that crossed your lips. “Got what I wanted.”

Jihoon sighed.

“If we weren’t in a fake relationship, you wouldn’t be getting treated this well.”

You two walked over to the door, leaving his studio.

“Well, no one’s around,” you said cheekily. “And you’re not telling me no.”

You said it as a jest, but it was as if as it left your mouth, you were realizing that it was true. When had you two started being reasonable even behind locked doors?

“I suppose not,” he agreed softly. He glanced at you.

“You know, you’re not half bad when you’re not yelling at me,” he said softly. “I actually enjoy your company when you aren’t driving me up the wall.”

This was it. Your chance to finally apologize to him. To mend bridges.

Swallow your pride, just apologize.

“I think the exhaustion is getting to you,” you said. “You’re saying things you don’t mean.”

You laughed.

“When are we going to finish this song?”

If Jihoon was thrown off by your change of topic, he didn’t comment on it.

“This Friday?”

You cleared your throat awkwardly.

“Yeah, sounds like a good idea.”

“What about this?”

You turned your chair around to face Jihoon, reaching out blindly for his headphones. Before they hit your hands he was slipping them on your head over your ears. You (luckily) barely showed your surprise.

A melody began to play in the headphones. One that you had been listening to different versions of it for the last five hours. You sighed.

“I mean-” Your head fell to the side. “It’s better? What if we tried to add something to the back? Drums?”

Jihoon nodded.

“Drums.”

His fingers drummed thoughtlessly on the desk.

“Drums,” he repeated. He concentrated for only a few moments before he was playing the song again in your ears, this time with the added backtrack. It sounded better. A smile crossed your lips.

“Hey, we’re making progress. I think we’re almost finished!”

Eight hours and three separate orders of chinese takeout later and you finally were, you were finally done.

“Well?” Jihoon asked, his eyes flickering to you.

“It’s good,” you replied. You laughed. “It’s really good. Do you think they’re going to like it?”

“I can’t say for sure,” Jihoon replied, looking at you with amusement dancing in his eyes. “You sure do have a lot of energy for 13 straight hours of this.”

You shrugged.

“You can do it, I can do it,” you replied. “You know I admire that you can do these things. You’re the whole package Jihoon.”

Maybe it was the lack of sleep. Maybe it was the amount of chinese takeout you had consumed. Whatever it was, you felt like your whole body was buzzing. You were so excited to have finally finished this song.

“I can’t believe I actually like this! When Sangsoo told us we had to do this I thought I would hate it,” you admitted. “But this might be my favorite song to perform to date.”

Jihoon wasn’t staring at you so you took it as the opportunity to talk more.

“Can you imagine us? On stage, side by side. We’re going to double the time in this studio in the dance studio trying to figure out this choreography.”

Jihoon shifted his weight, resting his chin in his hand.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you replied excitedly. “And all thanks to your musical genius. You Jihoon are the best producer that our generation of singer-songwriters has ever seen. You-”

You froze in the middle of your sentence.

“You’re making fun of me?”

Jihoon laughed.

“I’m not making fun of you,” he said. “I’m just relishing in the moment. It’s not everyday that I hear you building me up. I’m too used to you screaming insults in my face.”

And there it was. How were you not getting accustomed to this? This pang of guilt that went through your gut when someone reminded you of how you had been treating Jihoon before you had realized that you were such a fucking idiot.

How could you make this go away?

“Yeah.”

You knew how to make this feeling go away. You knew what you had to do. You just so desperately didn’t want to do it. It didn’t have to be this hard, did it? All you had to do was tell him what you had been thinking for weeks now. You were good at telling people how you felt, weren’t you? You told Jeonghan how you felt all the time.

“I was really mean to you,” you said before you could think about it. “Like really mean.”

Jihoon’s cocked his head.

“I didn’t make it easy not to be mean to,” he said.

“No- No, don’t say that,” you protested. You pointed a finger at him. “I was horrible to you. Are you joking? I was mean to you for no reason.”

Jihoon didn’t seem stressed by the topic. Dare you say he looked amused. Maybe he knew that your guilt was killing you and he thought you deserved it.

“I mean, you seemed to have plenty of reasons at the time.”

You did deserve it.

“I’m sorry,” you said and as soon as the words left your lips it was like a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulders. Finally.

“You’re sorry?” Jihoon asked, his eyebrows furrowing a little.

“For being so mean to you, for hating you for no reason, for getting us into this mess.” You shook your head. “This list goes on and I’m sorry. For all of it.”

Still Jihoon looked a bit confused.

“Why are you... Apologizing?”

“You’re a good person,” you replied. “My reasons were dumb, and now I like you a lot. I don’t want to be enemies.”

God, were you really about to say what you thought you were? “I want to be friends.”

Holy shit, you were.

The space between you saying that and Jihoon answering was an amount of time that felt like an eternity. You two just walked in silence together while you anxiously waited for his response, your fingers fidgeting with themselves in front of you.

“I thought we already were friends,” Jihoon said with a shrug. “It’s been a while since our last screaming match. Seemed reasonable to me that you regretted what you said even without you saying it.”

And just like that the air returned to your lungs. No pressure, no tight chest. Just complete and utter relief.

“Yeah?” You asked, risking a glance at Jihoon.

“Well, you don’t hate me anymore. I don’t hate you. Might as well be friends.”

You turned your head to hide your smile.

“Might as well be friends.”

Part Two

#Happy Lee Jihoon month in thirty minutes!#lee jihoon #lee jihoon seventeen #lee jihoon svt #lee jihoon fanfiction #lee jihoon fanfic #woozi fanfiction #woozi fanfic #woozi svt #woozi #woozi seventeen #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen fanfic #svt fanfiction #svt fanfic

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ahlovelightaflame · 9 months

Text

Unnecessary for Survival ~ *Lee Jihoon*

Summary: Jihoon hates the mafia. But that’s to be expected when he owes them a life debt. Though he’s paid off a good portion of it, he still has a long way to go. However, someone has taken twenty years of his sentence. Who could it be?

Pairing: Lee Jihoon X Fem!Reader

Genre: Angstyish Oneshot

Word Count: 2479

Warning: Swearing, mentions the black market and weapons, threats, toxic behavior

Mafia Masterlist

Even from down the hall, you could hear it.

Jihoon was making new music.

For a moment, everything was right in the world. Music was his sanctuary. Everything made sense, and if it didn’t, it was an equation he could easily solve. The melodies and bass drops blended perfectly. It was slowly becoming one of his better songs. However, he had more work to do before it was perfect and ready for release. But he wasn’t going anywhere. He could spend all day and night here if he liked. And he was going to do just that.

There was a knock at his studio door.

Knowing that a knock was never a good sign, Jihoon groaned and turned everything off. Whatever it was, it better not be that important. He had a song that was just begging to be finished.

Opening the door with a scowl, he sneered at you. “Can I help you?”

“The Big Boss wants to see you.” You exclaimed. “She said it was urgent.”

He sighed. “Alright, I’ll be there in a minute.”

And he shut the door in your face. Of course it was urgent. If it was you, it was almost always the Big Boss asking for him to see her. It was kind of cruel to send you to him, especially when you were busy with your own work. But everyone knew he couldn’t say no to you, and it bothered him.

Jihoon sighed, his hands rubbing his face. So much for getting work done today. He couldn’t avoid the Big Boss. Whenever she needed to speak to someone on the team, which was pretty infrequent, you were expected to be there as soon as humanly possible. So there was no point in him delaying the inevitable.

The walk to her office was short and the door was open when he arrived. Upon shutting it, she gestured for him to sit in front of her. But he remained standing.

“I need you and your team to hack into the city’s archives and expunge the records of these people.” She handed him a list of names, most of them new recruits who would be spying for them. “I want their identities completely erased.”

He sighed and took the list. “Is that all?”

“No. I want you to do them all by yourself.”

Jihoon narrowed his eyes on her. “I thought you wanted my team to help?”

“I did but I also want you to prove yourself loyal to the team.” She sighed and sat back in her chair. “I know you’ve been having loyalty issues lately. Something that has been hitting quite a few of our upper subordinates. But you’re one I really can’t afford to lose. You’re the leader of the support team. I need your support here, Jihoon. Can you do this for me?”

“What makes you think I’m having loyalty issues?”

She sighed, leaning back in her chair and closing her eyes. “I know the real reason why you hide yourself and hole up in your studio every day. Making music isn’t your only excuse. You were brought here because of the debts your parents had with us. You don’t want to be here so you only do what you have to to survive. Am I correct?”

He didn’t want to admit it, but she was. His parents had made a lot of bad decisions when he was younger. When the debts became too much, they gave away his freedom in exchange for help. He had no say in the matter, which made him bitter to both his parents and the Big Boss. Every so often his parents would try to contact him, but he would brush their attempts off. He had no interest in speaking to people who’d rather give away their own son than fix their bad habits.

“If it’s any consolation,” She continued. “Your life debt has been shortened, so you’re only here for another twenty years. I know that seems like a lot, but time will fly by.”

“Yeah, sure.”

The Boss stared at him for a brief moment before sighing again. “I know I can’t convince you to do this job and I hate using force, but I need you to do this. If you don’t, I’ll extend your life debt back to where it was originally, forty years from now.”

Jihoon gritted his teeth. Even though he knew her about as well as Seungcheol did, it still infuriated him that she was threatening him. Now, he understood why she wanted to keep him around. It was never good when someone left a gang, as you could never tell if they were going to divulge secrets to enemies. But Jihoon was almost a complete shut-in, spending most of his time in his studio. It didn’t matter that he was an Underboss; he didn’t care much for gang secrets. So he didn’t appreciate being threatened by the Boss.

“So to make sure I’m crystal clear, I want you to expunge these records and clear them off the face of the Earth. And when you return them to me, I have a different database I want you to hack.” She explained, her tone final.

“And what database is that?”

“The CIA. I have some unfinished business to attend to with them.”

He didn’t care so he didn’t ask. Instead, he snatched the folder from her with more force than was necessary. Stomping down the hall, he tried to calm his temper. If it wasn’t the Big Boss always reminding him about his life debt, it was the other members disturbing him and making his life a living hell. The sooner he got this done, the sooner he could calm himself down in the blissful world of music making.

Because of the large order, Jihoon took the file to the database room. It was full of far more computers than in his office and were more high powered than his. That way he could expunge multiple datasets at the same time. With a disgruntled sigh, he cracked his fingers and got to work.

While setting up the fourth expunge program, the door to the database opened.

“Minghao, if you’re trying to message your girlfriend, you have your own computer. Don’t bother me.” He snapped, not looking up from the computer he was working on.

“Sorry, is it a bad time? I can come back.” You answered.

He glanced over at you. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, well, a week ago, my computer broke and I brought it to Joshua to fix. But he’s been pretty preoccupied with getting his girlfriend relocated and all that. So I bought some black market weapons and I’m just checking to see if they’re still on their way.”

Jihoon rolled his eyes. “Well, yeah. It is a bad time. So come back in six hours.”

You chuckled. “I doubt it’ll take you that long to clear twelve sets of data. What else are you doing here? Something naughty?”

He glared at you. “No, nothing disgusting like what Hoshi or Seungcheol does. The Big Boss wants me to crack into the CIA. It’s not hard, just a long, time-consuming process.”

“Can’t hook up a hack function to a button? Don’t they do that in the movies?”

“The movies greatly exaggerate the complexities of hacking.” He snapped. “I’m sure Minghao has mentioned that on multiple occasions, given how passionately he feels about the topic.”

“He might have mentioned it.” You shrugged before sitting precariously on one of the desks. “Well I’m in no rush, so take your time.”

Jihoon didn’t respond. He kept typing away, setting up programs to do the deleting and cleaning for him. Even if he couldn’t connect a hack function to a single button on a keyboard, he could run programs to do smaller tasks for him. It made the whole process much easier.

“Are you sure I can’t just snag one computer? I’ll be quick, I promise! Twenty minutes top!” You begged, your bottom lip jutting out slightly in a pout.

He scoffed. “No. Not till this data expunge is done. When I’m done, I’ll let you look while I hack into the CIA. Fair?”

“Fair.”

“What did you even buy that got you this on edge?” He asked, curious. “You’re never this anxious about a new shipment.”

You chewed on your lip before answering him. “It’s not so much what I got, but who I got it from. We’re running low on sniper rifles, and the best I could find were out of the country. It’s a new vendor and I’m afraid he’s going to stand me up. We need this shipment since Mingyu’s front has been working too well. I don’t want this to fall through.”

He couldn’t understand it. How could you care so much about a gang that seemed to take more than it gave? Your kindness and optimism always baffled him.

“It’ll be fine.” He muttered. “Just quit freaking out and take a deep breath.”

You did as he instructed, making the corner of his mouth twitch. Damn you for always making him soft. “You’re right. And I know you’re right, but I can’t help but worry. I just don’t want to let anyone down or hurt anyone.”

He scowled. “You won’t. You’re good at what you do. You’re incapable of doing anything bad.”

“Right of course.” You gave a joyless laugh. “You’ve known me for only a couple of years. You’ve been doing this for twenty years and you have twenty more to keep being amazing at what you do. I-”

“What do you mean twenty years?” Jihoon’s voice became deadly, as he stood up and stalked towards you. There was murder in his eyes as he glared into your soul. “How do you know about the twenty years.”

Fear flashed in your eyes as you shrunk away from him. Granted he felt a little bad for scaring you, but he was more furious than anything. No one but the Big Boss knew about his life debt and she just told him today about the cut back to twenty years. So how did you know? Did you have a hand in this?

“I-I didn’t-”

“If you even think about lying to me, I will not hesitate to erase your very existence from the face of the Earth.”

Tears in your eyes, you came clean. “Seungcheol was drunk. It was an accident. But the Boss asked me to help her bring him to bed and he mentioned the life debt, saying how bad he felt for you. The Boss made me swear to secrecy and I agreed, planning to take the secret to my grave.

“But, Seungcheol is right. I don’t understand how someone’s family could be so heartless and cruel to give away a child like that. After thinking it over for several months, I went to the Boss with an offer: I take twenty years of your debt. You’ll get your freedom sooner. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have meddled and I should have just left well enough alone. But I couldn’t let your talent go to waste. You deserve to have your music heard by the world. I just wanted to give you your dream. I even planned on taking on the rest of it after proving to the Boss I was more valuable than you.”

His teeth ground together and unshed tears stung his eyes. How could you? How could you be so selfish and horrible? He didn’t need this and he didn’t need you. He was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. He didn’t need you to be “looking out” for him.

“I don’t need your damn pity.” He snapped, his hands in tight fists. “Tell the Boss you give it back. I can handle a life debt.”

You shook slightly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interfere and get in the way-”

He growled. “I don’t need your pity. Give. It. Back.”

“No.”

His eyes widened at your defiance despite the curious fear you were showing. “What?”

You shook your head. “I won’t. You don’t deserve it. You did nothing wrong. I was the one who fell into the wrong crowd. It’ll be my punishment for the poor choices I’ve made. I’m not doing this because I pity you. I’m doing this because I’m trying to make life a little more fair. I deserve it, you don’t. So I won’t give you your life debt back. You’ll have to kill me first.”

Jihoon paused. Again, he couldn’t understand you. Why did you have to care so much all the time? Who gave you the right to care about him as much as you did? Why did you think you had to be some martyr and take the punishment his parents gave him?

“Well?”

He glanced at her. “Well what?”

“Are you going to kill me or not?” You huffed, folding your arms over your chest. It appeared your fear was replaced with haughty defiance. “I don’t have all day.”

Jihoon couldn’t stop himself from giving a small laugh. “I thought you said you weren’t in a rush.”

“Well I’d like to have a quick and painless death.”

“That’s kind of hard to do when you’re in a gang.”

“I can hope.”

He sighed. “I’m not going to kill you.”

You blinked in surprise. “And the debt?”

Pausing again, he thought it through. He couldn’t ask you to take on his life debt. It wasn’t fair. Even if you made bad decisions to get here, you didn’t deserve to have your freedom stolen as well. He hated that you already took so much. He couldn’t ask her to take the rest. Yes, he hated it here and he hated everything about this gang, but that didn’t mean he needed to sacrifice you to get what he wanted. He wasn’t that heartless.

With another sigh, he answered, “Don’t take anymore. Twenty years is fine. I don’t want you in the same position I was in.”

“But-”

“Don’t argue. I’m an Underboss, so you have to do what I say.” He shot back.

“The Big Boss outranks you.” There was a slight teasing lilt in your voice.

He put his arms on either side of you, a playful sneer on his face. “Don’t you dare go over my head. You’re not going to like me when I get angry.”

“I can guess.” You chuckle before adding, “By the way, your datasets are cleared.”

Glancing behind him, he saw all of the programs had completed. Twelve people no longer existed. A small, dull ache thudded in his chest, but he pushed it away like he always did.

“So, can I steal a computer now?”

He gave you a sideways glance. “I suppose. Just don’t take all day.”

“I won't, I promise.”

“But don’t leave right away either.”

“Why?”

“We have unfinished business.”

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gomapda · 2 days

Text

sidewalks we crossed [side B: him.] (pt. 2)

this is broken into parts because tumblr has a limit of 1000 blocks.

side A found here! | side B (part 1) found here!

author's note:

part two of side b!

the final installment.

it's been a long journey to get here, and any messages or words i read in the tags of the reblogs were a source of comfort for me during these times. i'm glad that my words resonated with even just one of you.

and of course, thank you for being here.

✧⋆°｡☾☼꙳ ੭ * ‧ ⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ‧ ⨯ ς(>‿<.). ⁺ ✦ * . ˚ ⨯ ੭ * ‧☼☽⋆｡°✧

pairing: lee jihoon/woozi (seventeen) x f!reader

genre: romance, fluff

summary: an accidental like, an off-chance comment, a purposeful message. you were in an unrequited love with your childhood best friend and decided to run away from him and your feelings and years later you find yourself in the same city with the same feelings when he stalks your instagram.

rating: 13+

length: 30k (bro WHAT LOL)

tags: idol!jihoon, childhood friend!reader, unrequited love (but not really), reconnection through instagram, this is just different scenes pieced together (including a ton of flashbacks), reader’s nicknames are all bug-themed, reader has depression and it manifests as suicidal ideation sometimes, this is basically real life (aka seventeen exists and debuted 150526), but the years are a little bit off for the trainee period, jihoon left busan later and trained for shorter for the sake of my story hehe, cursing, pining, mamamoo + ateez are the besties of reader, member x member pairings, jihoon and reader are both dumbasses, reader is extremely book smart but has one brain cell when it comes to romantic feelings, jihoon writes music like he’s been divorced 12x, word genius lee jihoon, idk how doctoral degrees work, i only got my masters and it was a non-thesis track lol, also idk how trainee auditions work either, miss communication is a lady we all know too well, super cute soft shit too tho tbh, no beta we die like men, i spent 5 hours trying to format this for tumblr and i’m still unsure

inspired by “drivers license” by olivia rodrigo and “what kind of future?” by woozi

inspo spotify playlist found here!

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“Noona, I need help.”

Immediately, the older girl closed the book she was reading, a young adult romance novel and turned her attention to him. “You never ask for my help. What’s going on?”

“I… I like Y/N.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Yes.”

Jihoon balked. “What? Does everyone know this already?”

“Y/N doesn’t.”

He groaned loudly.

“Are you finally wanting to tell her?”

“I mean, yeah. I—I just don’t know what to do.”

“Well, I got just the thing for you, Jihoonie.”

Jihoon spent his time trying to come up with some elaborate and dramatic confession (per the advice of his noona). They sat in cafes, picking out different foods that the two of them knew you’d enjoy, scoping out different restaurants, going to the library and her handing him too many romance novels.

After a few weeks, “Noona, you sure this is going to work?”

“Nope.”

“What?! Then why am I doing this?”

“I was just curious to see how much you were willing to do for her. She deserves nothing less than the best, you know,” the girl grinned, now revealing her mischievous side, one that he has never seen before. “Jihoon, you really think that she’s going to want anything that’s a grand gesture?”

“Well. No, but I thought you would know her—”

“Jihoonie, there’s no one that knows her better than you, I think. You probably know her and see her for how she really is. More than she can see herself. All you have to do is just tell her the truth. That’s it.”

“…this was a waste of time.”

She hummed. “Hm, nothing came up for you?”

“What do you mean?”

He could see that she was fidgeting with her fingers. She let out a nervous laugh as she said, “I actually wanted to see whether you still liked me. Whether spending time with me was going to change your mind. Not that I wanted it to! But I didn’t want you to be wishy-washy. She needs stability. She’s already chaotic on her own.”

“You knew I liked you?”

“Just a tiny bit.”

He let out a dry laugh. “Would you have given me a chance?”

“Would you have tried?”

The two of them sat there for a moment, mulling over the weight of the words said between them. But they both knew that there was someone else in their lives who mattered more, who they truly yearned for. If Jihoon and his noona ever pursued something, it would’ve just been them trying to find comfort in each other because they couldn’t have who they wished for. They would’ve tried to shape each other to fit the missing puzzle piece, losing the essence of themselves.

Jihoon and his noona were only mere reflections of who they actually wanted, the illusion created because of how much time was spent together. And that image would’ve faded fast.

“No, I don’t think I would have.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Good luck with him.”

“Yeah… good luck with her. It’ll work out.”

──────────────────

Plenty of people could say that his noona was childish, that she should have picked another route to go down. That it all could’ve been left unsaid. But Jihoon was grateful for her choice to do what she did. Because you didn’t deserve that “what if?”. Neither did he. You both needed to be sure.

And he felt it, walking into the restaurant.

He immediately recognized you, even with your head down. He was so used to seeing you from afar that this was a sight that was unfortunately so familiar to him. He walked forward in hopes of closing the distance between the two of you.

“Jihoon! Hey!” Your cousin said, frantically.

Jihoon held back his laughter, the sight of his hyung flustered a rare occurrence. “Hey, hyung.”

“Oh my goodness, it’s our Jihoonie! Hi!”

He could see that her eyes were screaming: save us. Jihoon wondered if he’d be able to. “Hi, noona.”

Ah, there you went.

Your eyes finally met his.

God, so beautiful.

“Hey, firefly.”

“Holy fuck.”

Jihoon was startled. Since when did you curse? And the fuck word too? But it must be a new development considering the other two were making a huge commotion over it. But even in the midst of chastising, you didn’t break eye contact.

“It’s been a while.”

You blinked. “Um. Yes.”

He couldn’t help but smile. This was happening.

His brilliant and warm and fiery sun.

The reason behind why his own light exists.

His guide, his inspiration, his hope.

His firefly.

Close enough to reach out and catch.

But not quite yet.

“So, are you all done eating?”

“No, not even close! Only ordered one pajeon, but feel free to order anything that you want! Oppa will be covering,” his noona responded as she motioned for him to take the seat next to you. He did and immediately felt you tense up beside him. Jihoon mentally cursed at himself. He should’ve asked.

He decided to lean back in his chair to try to mimic the body language he hoped from you: relaxed. “Hyung’s the best.”

“One day, I’ll make you spend that idol money of yours.”

“Alright, it’s a deal.”

You must have recovered from your shock, since you piped up with a, “Wait. Shouldn’t you be careful about eating out? What if someone sees you here? Couldn’t something happen?”

Aw, you were worried for him. “This is a restaurant that’s frequented by SEVENTEEN. This specific table is so far removed in the corner that it’d be hard to get a good look at my face, especially since my back’s to them.”

You looked around and scanned the area, probably noticing the boisterous environment of hweshiks overpowering the casual dining you were partaking in. “Hm. Okay…”

“You worried about me?”

“No, I’m worried I’m going to end up in Dispatch with message requests from sasaeng fans.”

Jihoon felt the color drain from his face. “If you’re uncomfortable with me being here—”

You immediately shook your head. “That was a joke, I guess it was too serious of a reality for it to seem like one. Jihoon, thanks, really. But I’m scary good at ignoring people. Uh… I’m… I’m glad that you’re here. Seriously.” You paused for a moment, probably noticing the tension that he was too aware of. “Because we’re with two weakass eaters so it’s up to us to finish the job. Will you join me on our noble mission?”

He snorted out a ‘yes’ and the table laughed. Your cousin brought up a time where you were crying because you hated wasting food but the dish was too spicy but you were too stubborn to stop eating. You quickly reminded him that he was the one who tapped out first and left a 9-year-old to solve the issue (“Wouldn’t have been a problem for me if you didn’t create one, oppa!”). The four of you spent more time catching up than thinking about what to order until you were all brought back into the reality that you were at a restaurant and ordered nothing but a pajeon and drinks.

The older two let you and Jihoon decide, as you were both pickier eaters than they were. Once the food arrived, you fell into a rhythm of years’ practice. You pushed your portion of fish and beef onto his plate and he pushed his portion of bean sprouts and japchae onto yours. You both split the pork belly serving evenly between the two of you.

His arm would (accidentally) brush against yours but none of the tension remained from earlier. You didn’t retract, you didn’t run away. In fact, you poked his arm for his attention midway in the conversation and he never thought such a small thing could evoke such happiness.

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Physical touch was never something that Jihoon craved. In fact, in most cases, he felt negatively towards it. So, the experience of being touch-starved was not something he knew anything about.

That is, until you were gone for two weeks at an academic competition.

Why the hell was an academic competition half a month? And during summer break? What did they expect middle schoolers to do? Solve world hunger with pi? (The number, not the food.)

You were spending your school vacation for the sake of more school.

What a stupid concept.

And you were on the same team as Baek Yunho, the star player of the baseball team and chemistry league. Jihoon saw the way that Yunho would try to come up to you after a game, but you only ever made a beeline towards Jihoon.

He didn’t realize just how much the two of you gravitated towards each other. Between class periods, he’d pinch your nose or flick your forehead or you would attempt to bring him to his knees by pushing your own into the back of his and fail miserably and he would roundhouse kick you in response. If the two of you had the time, you would go over to his house and dig your toes into his ribcage when he totally owned you during a game of Super Smash Bros. And during the summer, usually, you would be sprawled over him, back to back, as he would watch anime or play games on his phone and you would read your summer reading list.

But normal people wouldn’t consider that physical touch.

And yet here he was, genuinely touch-starved, because you were in Daegu with a whole seven days left.

He grumbled under his breath. Another day has gone by without seeing Baek Yunho during practice which meant another day that you were gone. Something that occupied his mind, as he opened the door to his bedroom, swinging his baseball bag onto his bed.

And he heard a loud, “ow!”

He saw you rubbing your knee on his bed, with a pout on your face. “What the hell are you doing here?”

That’s one way to say he missed you.

“I came back from my competition today to apparently get assaulted by my best friend.”

“I thought it was two weeks long.”

“The whole thing is, but I opted out of the award ceremony. Plus, I only competed in the writing and foreign language portion because that’s all they needed me for, which all happened in the first week.”

Jihoon’s mind didn’t catch up with his body as he reached for you. You yelped and threw a pillow at him, “Ew. No, you just got back from practice and you’re sweaty!”

“Firefly, you’re missing out on a rare opportunity.”

You paused for a moment, possibly recalling all the times he’s rejected a hug from you and realizing this indeed was very rare. “Can you at least wipe off your sweat?”

“Nope, not at all,” Jihoon snickered.

It was now a competition to see who would be the faster one, you rushing for the door or his arms. And of course, the athlete that he is, Jihoon won.

“You smell like the sun! Stop!”

He decidedly rubbed his neck into the shoulder of your shirt and you did your best to wiggle away, but failed. Your look of disdain was met with Jihoon’s satisfied one. “Lee Jihoon, you’re the worst.”

“I’m glad my punching bag is back.”

You pushed his hair back only to immediately retract. “Ugh! How does so much sweat just come out of you?”

“Does it matter when I have a towel right here?”

You pinched his ear as he pushed his sweaty forehead against the other shoulder of your shirt. You burst into a fit of giggles when he found your ticklish spot in the middle of your thigh, but soon enough, your ankle found purchase around his and pushed him onto the ground as you clambered away and into his closet, probably to find a shirt to change into.

He was left there on his bedroom floor, listening to your ramblings about his sweat, almost deliriously happy.

He was satisfied, no longer a starving man.

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After the food was finished (thanks to the two of you), the four of you walked out of the restaurant, the couple saying they were so full they wanted to walk it off on the way to their hotel. They offered for the two of you to join them but you declined, saying the hotel was in the opposite direction of your home.

Your cousin felt uneasy leaving you to walk home on your own. But you pointed at Jihoon with your thumb and said, “Jihoonie can walk me home, if you’re so worried. But even if he can’t, I’ve lived here long enough. This isn’t anything new.”

As if your cousin completely ignored the latter half of what you said, he glanced at Jihoon who gave a quick nod. “I’ll walk her home. Don’t worry. Then I’ll take a taxi back myself.”

After much long-winded convincing, the two headed off to the hotel while you and him were left walking down the street, his own face masked up and covered with a baseball hat in case of anything.

“You know, you don’t have to walk me home.”

“I’d like to, if that’s alright with you.”

He noticed you adjusting the hem of your shirt. “Okay. It’s a little bit of a walk from here. Maybe 30 to 40 minutes or so.”

“That’s 30 to 40 minutes I’d like to spend with you.”

“…yeah. I’d like that too.”

This felt almost surreal. You by his side.

But also so natural, almost inevitable.

As if this was all just waiting to happen.

After a moment’s pause, you asked him what he was doing for the coming months, if there were any plans.

“There’s a concert that Bumzu’s holding in Busan, and he’s asking some SEVENTEEN members to perform, so I’ll be doing a solo piece for that one.”

“Oh, SIMPLE?”

You immediately made a face as if you got caught admitting something embarrassing and Jihoon grinned. “Ah, you know my solo song?”

“Hm. Maybe…” You trailed off, looking everywhere but at him.

Cute.

“It might’ve possibly made it as my top song of the year in 2016.”

Agh, even cuter. “I’ll tell Yoon Jeonghan that he’s not actually your bias and you’re actually a Woozidan.”

“You can call me a Woozidan, you’d just be exceedingly and astronomically incorrect, like always. Unlike me, who is right, quite literally 100% of the time.”

Jihoon laughed. “Hey, I’ll have you know I’m one of the brains in SEVENTEEN, alright?”

“That’s because you were forged in the fire that was your friendship with me. Of having to deal with my illogical thinking.”

“Ain’t that the damn truth.”

The mood between the two of you was solid and Jihoon felt his resolve flare up within him, gathering the courage to ask, “If I invited you to Bumzu’s concert, would you go?”

“Oh. The one in Busan?”

“Yes.”

“Uh. When is it? I’m supposed to start work in three weeks.”

He wondered how big of a Carat you were because he knew that most would jump at the opportunity, but he felt oddly reassured that you weren’t a fan who would skirt on your responsibilities. “It’s in two weeks. You can… uh, bring Hyejin?”

You blinked up at him. “You know her?”

“She, uh, is always on your Instagram.”

“That’s very sweet of you and she’s gonna freak out that you know her, but she’s actually going to be in Jeonju that entire week with Wheein-unnie because they’re visiting their family. And then none of my other friends know about me knowing you. But. You know what? What kind of Carat would I be if I turned down this offer?”

Great minds think alike. “So… I’ll see you there?”

“Yeah. Yeah, you will. I’ll sing the chorus of SIMPLE so loud I’ll overpower even your vocals.”

“You know, I never said I was singing SIMPLE.”

“Oh, what? What are you singing then?”

Jihoon grinned. “Guess you’ll have to come and find out.”

You let out a low whistle. “Wow, what an idol. Using your charm to convince me to use up my time and money.”

“You think I’m charming?”

“Enough that my wallet is in constant danger.”

“You know, I can always give you free things.”

“It’s okay. Buying your albums and merchandise and concert tickets have been the only way I can support you. And, well, I did promise I would be your number one fan.”

“‘S alright. That’s all in the past.”

Jihoon noticed you flinching at those words. Your voice was barely above a whisper, “…Is it really all in the past? It’s not that simple, is it, Jihoonie?”

He remained silent.

So did you.

You both walked, the evening stroll accompanied only by the artificial lights of the city, the sun having long since gone to rest and the light of the moon nowhere to be found.

You reached the doorstep of your apartment and you turned back to face him. “I think… We probably have a lot to talk about. But maybe the timing is off right now. I know I need to sort myself out, if that’s okay? I’m trying to do this thing where I think before I talk instead of just diving in and regretting something, you know?”

Jihoon nodded. He was all too familiar with that.

“But I just want to let you know that I still want to be a part of your life. And we can navigate how that will look like when we’re both not caught up in living our lives. Is… is that okay?”

He wanted to cry. “More than that.”

You smiled. “I’ll see you at the concert, Jihoonie.”

“I’ll see you, firefly.”

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After that night, he was thrown back into his and SEVENTEEN’s work. Outside of Bumzu’s concert, they were working on their next album, aiming to release it in just two months, the theme centered around a youthful infatuation blossoming into a mature love.

He wondered what you would think of it.

One night, he was in his studio with Soonyoung again who looked over Jihoon’s latest solo for Bumzu’s concert.

“Jihoon, this is the saddest shit I’ve ever read.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Are you sure that this is what you’re wanting to perform? That this is what you want her to hear? In front of hundreds of people?”

“It’s… the most honest I can be. Yeah, it could scare her off. But I don’t think we can keep moving forward without addressing what happened between us. But I didn’t make this song to make her feel bad. I made it so I could let go of the pain I associate with the old her to be able to make space for the new her, you know what I mean?”

Soonyoung spared no expression. “Whatever you think is best, Hoon.”

“I’m just going to take a leap of faith,” Jihoon sighed. There really was no predicting exactly how things would turn out. You were different, he was different. There were too many unknown variables with the situation. “Hopefully she’ll be there to catch me.”

“Mm.”

“What’s up?”

“I’m thinking about how you’re going to be singing a ballad, pouring your true and genuine feelings, and I’ll be performing Hurricane in a tiger print shirt.”

Jihoon paused for a moment. “Duality of SEVENTEEN.”

──────────────────

You must have also been busy, as the only notification he got from you was on the day of the concert. It was a selfie of you at a gas station in the wee hours of the morning, no doubt filling your tank before your 4 and a half hour car ride, with a message saying, “i’m on my way to you! fueled by overpriced gas and cheap snacks!”

You were on your way. To him.

There was an electricity that was coursing through him that went beyond just nerves before a show. No, there was so much more riding on this, and as much as he wants to believe and trust that everything would work out in some way or another, there is the deep part of him that yearns for it to work out for the best. The most ideal cut.

He pressed his hands against his chest, as he tried to mimic compression.

But there was just too much bursting out of him to truly contain.

“Jihoon-ah, you alright?”

He must have looked like a crazed man to Jeonghan because the latter had an incredulous look on his face as soon as they made eye contact. “Do I not seem alright?”

“No.”

“Hyung.”

Jeonghan let out a low chuckle and moved behind him to squeeze the shoulders of the stressed man. “It’s okay to hope, you know.”

“It feels like hope is the reason I can’t breathe right now. If it weren’t for hope, I wouldn’t care this much. If it weren’t for hope, I wouldn’t be in this position.”

“You’re right. You wouldn’t be. Without hope, you wouldn’t be in SEVENTEEN. You wouldn't have become an idol, be our unit’s leader, become a producer, written songs, or even had the chance to reconcile with her. All of what you are would’ve been impossible without hope”

Jihoon bit his lip. “I feel like I’m going crazy, hyung. I keep going back and forth between whether it’s worth it. I haven’t felt anxiety like this in years. I know that lo–love–” Jihoon realized he never said that word so directly about her. He always found more poetic ways to dance around the word. “–can be a lot of work. But this? It makes me think that it’s not meant to be. When I see her and when I’m with her, it feels so right. But when she’s not in front of me, I feel like the best thing to do is to just run away.”

“Yeah, but you ran away last time, right?”

“And I wouldn’t be in SEVENTEEN if I hadn’t.”

“But you’ve still pined after her for all these years.”

“Maybe that’s just me being stubborn.”

“Yeah, and? What about it?”

“What happens if I’m pining after her because I regret hurting someone I cared about, my best friend. What if I don’t actually love her–”

Jihoon’s voice caught in his throat.

Jeonghan answered in a low whisper, and Jihoon is sure that if he turned around, he would see pity in his older member’s eyes. “Jihoon–”

“No, I know,” he quickly cut him off, sighing. “Ridiculous notion. Hyung, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. I don’t understand myself at all. Just yesterday, I was talking a big game about how I needed to trust her and take a leap of faith and now it feels like I’m going back on it.”

“So, you don’t trust her?”

“That’s… not it.”

“Then what is it, Jihoon?”

“I… I can’t…”

“It’s just you and me here.”

Lee Jihoon and Yoon Jeonghan.

The very two people who were in that room together when that fateful encounter on social media occurred.

Yoon Jeonghan, the island of SEVENTEEN.

“What if she doesn’t love me back?”

Jeonghan felt Jihoon’s shoulders tremble underneath his grip. The older began to rub gentle circles and stood there in silence as the younger buried his face in his hands. “...She could.”

“What if she doesn’t?”

“What if she does?”

“That’s not–”

“–How it works? Why are your worries more likely than your hope? Are they more logical? More based in reality? Listen, they’re all just thoughts driven by feelings. They both have an equal chance of happening, and yet you are convinced your worries are true. And maybe that’s your fault. Your fault because you keep suppressing your hope in fear of pain and rejection. So that later down the line, you can tell yourself that you knew it anyway. But guess what? This isn’t a game where you’re trying to come out of this as the least hurt.”

Jihoon felt lucky that Jeonghan couldn’t see his face.

“Just think of it as finally being able to let out the entire truth that you’ve been hiding for years, the truth that has been found in your lyrics, but is now finally going to reach the person you’ve hoped for so long that it would. She’ll be right there, listening to you. You’ve wanted it for so long. Don’t try to convince yourself all of a sudden that it’s not.”

“...Yeah.”

“Plus, they already have the line-up and backing vocals set up, so. It’s not like you can change it now. Go put your in-ear in. We’ll be in the audience. All of us.”

“Thanks, hyung.”

“...I’m not sure if it means anything, but you’re a good man, Lee Jihoon. I’m proud of you.”

Jeonghan patted the younger’s shoulder before exiting the small space, leaving Jihoon to his own thoughts. Ones that no longer swirled over the possibility of pain or even the potential of reciprocation. Instead, he thought about his members. The ones he’s told he’s loved, both in teasing ways and genuine utterances.

And then he thought of you.

He’d like you to hear the same from him.

At least once.

(And hopefully more.)

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Busan’s driving laws were nothing like the rest of Korea.

Luckily growing up in Busan, you were aware of the way that the drivers swerved in and out of lanes, making illegal (?) turns any chance they got. The flow of traffic in Busan is so aggressively different from Seoul, that it felt as though you had to flip a switch to reorient yourself into the version of you that learned how to first drive in Busan.

Not long after the person you were driving to see had stormed out of your home.

You sighed.

You weren’t sure what to expect at the concert.

It felt almost embarrassing how much you daydreamed over him potentially singing a song to you. The reality is dangerously close to overlapping with the delusion that you found yourself trying to literally shake away the thoughts.

But how could you not be a little hopeful?

The love of your life invited you to a concert, with him singing a solo song.

Maybe he’d confess–

The honk of the car behind you pulled you out of your thoughts. You groaned loudly, slapping your forehead. “Get it together, Y/N!”

Jihoon had told you to enter the concert hall through a certain entrance, and that you wouldn’t need to wait amongst the lines. He recommended waiting until everyone else was seated, so you would still have 20 minutes to kill before entering the venue.

You drove, mentally fighting yourself every kilometer of the way, until you finally reached the venue. You showed the badge that Jihoon had given you and was directed towards the back lot where staff parked. You cut the engine and sat there, attempting to calm yourself down.

You immediately get a request for FaceTime on your phone.

You answer it.

“Bumblebee!”

“Unnie, I can feel myself eroding away.”

Hyejin rolled her eyes. “You’ll be fine.”

You heard Wheein’s voice in the background. “Is that Y/N?”

Hyejin answered, “Yeah. Wanna say something?”

Wheein popped into frame. You gave a weak wave. “Are you gonna confess today?”

“What? No. That wasn’t in the plan.”

“Okay? Then change the plan,” Wheein said, as though it was the most obvious thing.

“I just want to be friends.”

“Forever?” Wheein asked.

“For now,” Hyejin supplied.

You rolled your eyes. “Listen. All I know is that I want to be in his life, and whatever that looks like is still to be determined, alright?”

“But what do you want in the long run?”

“You know I can’t plan for the long-term. Let’s just take things day by day, alright?”

“Okay, but what if he confesses today?” Wheein asked.

“He won’t.”

“What if he does?”

“I–”

Hyejin tapped Wheein’s thigh off-camera. “She’ll handle it if it comes up. No matter what happens, we’ll be here to pick up your call, okay? Whether it be to sort out your feelings or to just fangirl about the concert. We’ll be here to listen to whatever you’re willing to share. There’s not much to do here in Jeonju anyway, so. Just hit us up.”

“Go eat Jeonju bibimbap.”

“We did,” they answered in unison.

You let out a short laugh. “Alright. Well. Regardless of everything, time will continue to pass. I’m going to just bask in the fact that I was invited by a member of my favorite idol group to watch his performance.”

“And that’s already cool as hell,” Wheein nodded.

The three of you chatted about their plans for the week while you did your best to focus on the conversation while still paying attention to the time left until the concert. Not long after, you bid them farewell to once again sit in silence in your car, pressing your hands against your chest.

It was time.

──────────────────

Bumzu’s concert started off as nothing less than spectacular.

You always admired his musical prowess, knowing that he was the one who helped Jihoon form his own identity as a producer and songwriter. Bumzu was a titan in his own right, his lyricism and musicality rivaling plenty of others in the field.

Although his talent is impeccable, the venue itself was small. His transition from performing towards writing and producing had a hand in influencing the number of tickets sold. You also realized belatedly that the concert wasn’t advertised to include the SEVENTEEN members that you were promised.

Regardless, it felt like such an intimate space, you were thankful for it.

You were in the upper gallery, away from the rest of the concert attendees. There wasn’t anyone else nearby you, and you assumed that would stay the case.

That is, until you heard someone sit right next to you.

You glanced over, not wanting to be overt in noticing them (although, Korean culture lends itself to staring at others outside of Seoul and Busan), and you felt your breath hitch.

“Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.”

“I–yeah.”

“I recorded a video for you for your graduation,” the most beautifully ethereal man on this side of existence said. “Do you remember?”

“I–yeah.”

He flashed a brilliant grin. “Yoon Jeonghan.”

“I–yeah.”

“Congratulations on graduating.”

“I–” This time, his voice overlapped yours. “Yeah.”

You flushed. “Sorry. I’m just– I’m kind of taken aback.”

“I heard I was your favorite member, your bias.”

“Mm. That’s true.”

“Why is that the case?”

You paused for a moment, the vocals of Bumzu drowning out the sounds of your conversation. “They say that your bias is the one who’s most similar to you. And your bias wrecker is the one that you’d most likely want to date or be romantically involved with.”

“Oh, so, we’re similar?”

“In the way that we love others, I think? From what other members have said about you, the way that you love is both wide and deep. You love others in a way where you can be a home for them during times of hardship,” you said, sheepishly. It felt almost strange to claim you were as loving as you were, but. You knew yourself. You knew your heart. Even the bad parts. “Also, we both would cheat at games.”

“It’s the only way to play.”

“Winning is too easy otherwise,” you added.

“Exactly,” he chuckled. “Well. That makes me feel better.”

“That I cheat at games?”

“No. That you love in the same way that I do. Because if you love Jihoonie as much as I love him, I think I have absolutely nothing to worry about.”

“I do.”

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow at you. “I’m sorry?”

“I do love him,” you said, unhesitantly. Perhaps it wasn’t the wisest decision to tell one of Jihoon’s closest confidants this information. But, it wasn’t a secret. It wasn’t ever meant to be a secret. It was simply a fact. “There’s no way that I wouldn’t.”

“You… You haven’t doubted your feelings?”

This time you raised an eyebrow at him. “Why would I? He’s easy to love.”

Jeonghan laughed. “You’re so right, Y/N. So. Is he your bias wrecker?”

“You mean the one that I want to date?”

“The very same.”

You saw the mischief in his eyes, and you felt yours bubble up inside. “I wonder.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m surprised you cheat at games, you don’t seem like a great liar.”

“Who said I was trying to?” You flashed him a toothy grin.

“It’s rather strange to see just how different the two of you are. And also, how human you seem. The way that he talks about you, you’d think otherwise.”

“Unfortunately, being human is all I know,” you said, trying to shove down the feeling of butterflies in your stomach at the mention of Jihoon speaking of you to his precious brothers.

Bumzu was now giving a ment, but you were still so focused on the man next to you.

He crossed his legs and looked out at the stage. He pursed his lips. “Y/N. He’s a bit of a handful sometimes, you know.”

“I’ve got two hands.”

He smirked at that. “Right. That you do. And if you and I really are similar, then. Well. I hope you really listen to what he has to say to you, even if it can be hard to hear. I hope you try to understand him even when he doesn’t make sense. And, of course, I hope you enjoy the rest of your life loving him.”

You felt some tears well up in your eyes. “I’ll try my best.”

Jeonghan looked at you softly and patted your knee. “That’s all I ask.”

He stood up and you gave a slight bow. He smiled and said, “Enjoy the show.”

Bumzu’s voice rang out: “And now, a special guest: WOOZI from SEVENTEEN.”

Your eyes snapped back towards the stage, barely noticing the figure of your bias move back out into the shadows of the concert hall. You were transfixed by the man walking out on stage, his pale skin glowing underneath the stage lights, his black collared shirt hanging loosely on his frame. The cheers could not distract you from the way he gripped and ungripped the microphone in his hand as he sat down on the stool.

He lifted the microphone to his lips and began speaking.

“Hello, everyone. I am SEVENTEEN’s WOOZI.”

His eyes were darting around, but only looking downwards, barely looking at the crowd. “Today, I’m going to sing a song that I’ve only ever sang once. Um. And that was by myself, in my studio. Not even the other members have heard it.”

The crowd were wowed at the prospect of hearing an entirely new song from a genius producer. Seeing the spotlight shine on him, you realize how bare he looked without his other members surrounding him. His vulnerability was amplified by the closer proximity of the space.

You knew he was the kind of person that would lessen the amount of lines he had solely to allow others to shine more. He wasn’t like the sun, the blazing fire that consumed the day. No, he was so much more like the moon, the one that would reflect others’ light, but in such a way that was never accosting.

Even on the stage in front of you, he glowed so ethereally, you wondered if he was always the fae that you believed lived near the winding tree at Old Man Park’s home. He was the guiding light in the midst of night, always present, but in a less overt way than its celestial partner.

The sun was stunning in its own right, life-giving, even, but the moon provided comfort to those who tread in the darkness.

And you’ve seen the way he has done just that.

Not just for you, but for millions around the world.

“This is, uh. A very personal song,” you couldn’t help but notice the way that his grip around his microphone tightened. “I’m not sure if many of you out there have been unsure about what the future holds. But, this song… captures that, I think. This is ‘What Kind of Future’.”

Your reaction to grab your phone to record was immediately cut off by the piano playing.

This… melody?

Your throat tightened. It sounded so similar to the lullaby he would sing–

As if nothing happened I told myself that it was all a dream. When I closed my eyes and opened them again, I wanted to wake up with a relief.

The melody was so familiar, but because of that, you could focus solely on the lyrics he sang.

Was this song… about you?

No, your mind supplied. Don’t be delusional.

But what if it was?

Your heart began to pound loudly in your ears, and you had to take deep breaths so as to not miss anything that he had to say.

Our past that didn't line up If I could go back in time Rather than roughly, but warmly Would I be able to let you go?

Your eyes widened.

You thought back to that moment in your house.

Could it be–?

When we weren't over As I held onto whatever was left You let go of me as I refused Although I don't wanna see you, I miss you Although I hate you, I miss you I don't understand myself so well

You immediately recall the desperation on his face and the hurt in his voice that you couldn’t see until it was too late. It was shrouded by his anger and your desire to look away. To run away. Because, to a teen on the cusp of adulthood, that was easier than being honest.

This waiting It's not easy to endure If I forget that someday As if nothing is wrong Our future will be empty and It's not that I want to forget you

You never wanted to forget him.

You couldn’t.

He surrounded you at every turn.

The best parts of you were things that you learned from him.

He softened your rough edges, quieted the inner criticisms, pacified the burning flames.

The idea of him never being a part of your life again was one that you could not fathom, even with all of your imagination. Because there was no way for the current you to exist without him. Not in a way that deemed him necessary, but in a way that his friendship, his love, for you shaped you into becoming someone you, yourself, learned to love as well.

Your future might have been filled with joy and happiness.

His, just as likely to.

But yours and his, as he said, our future, would be empty.

We were happy about us You, who isn't me anymore Although I don't wanna see you, I miss you Although I hate you, I miss you I don't understand myself so well

You tried to quell your tears as much as you could, in fear of missing even another moment with him. Because you realize now that the feelings you had were not one-sided. Of course, they couldn’t have been. The way that the two of you stuck by each other through thick and thin.

Why were you so adamant that it couldn’t be true?

What kind of future is coming before us? Even if the Heavens don't give us an answer I'm too stupid until the end So I don't know the answer

The love you had for each other was so simple.

It was so direct, so straight-forward.

But the two of you made it complicated.

Why?

You also didn’t have an answer.

The both of you, burdened by the decisions of the past, anxious about the potential of the future.

As his vocals rang out, as he cried out, the tears finally streamed down your warm cheeks. You buried your face into your hands, listening to his voice, but unable to withstand the sight of him holding his microphone with such gentle, yet firm, hands. The same ones that trembled at his side that fateful day. Your breath staggered as you wept for the past versions of you.

The ones who struggled and constantly questioned whether you were loved by the person you longed for. The ones who somehow convinced themselves that you weren’t, rather than trusting in the obvious truth that you always had been.

And still are.

As the song concluded with his smooth vocals, the crowd erupted into cheers. You raised your head and found him looking longingly up in your direction, and if you weren’t mistaken, at you.

But how could he?

The stage lights were so bright, you were sure it was impossible to see beyond the stage.

But with the way his gaze softened as your bottom lip trembled.

Maybe, just maybe.

As soon as the crowd settled down to a reasonable level, he began speaking again. “Thank you all for attending tonight. Bumzu-hyung is an artist that I admire a lot, so I feel really honored that I was able to share my music here. This song is… both personal and special. And I hope that, maybe, someone out there can understand what I was trying to convey.

“Carats, thank you always for your support. Remember to stay healthy; I’m always wishing for your happiness. We hope that you continue to love and support SEVENTEEN. I’m always humbled by Carat’s love for us, and I really wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.”

He began to fiddle with the microphone in his hands.

“Did you know that…” He trailed off for a moment before he glanced up in your direction. Your breath hitched. “...If you dream of fireflies, they’re supposed to represent guidance and inspiration? Because they’re kind of like a beacon of light in the dark. And according to some, they’re also meant to represent taking a chance at an opportunity that’s right in front of you. And I, uh. I’ve been dreaming of fireflies for a long time. So, I think… that means that it’s time to try and take that chance. I’m not sure what it’ll look like, but…”

He shut his eyes for a moment, tilting his head backwards, looking as though he was allowing the weight of his words to really sink into him. He brought the microphone back up to his lips.

“Thank you again. I hope our future together is one of happiness.”

He gave a slight bow to the audience who cheered loudly for him. He, once again, looked up in your direction. You weren’t sure whether he could see your expression, so instead you lifted your phone screen at its highest brightness, open to the phone dial screen.

If he gave any semblance of acknowledgement, it was imperceptible.

Bumzu was welcomed back to the stage and squeezed Jihoon’s shoulder before the latter excused himself off of the stage.

Almost possessed, you followed suit, leaving the upper gallery to rush towards the restroom, out of earshot and view of anyone else.

Not even a minute later, your phone starts vibrating.

You answer immediately. “That was fast.”

“We’ve wasted enough time, don’t you think?”

“Are you… running? You sound like you’re out of breath.”

“Meet me outside. Staff parking lot.”

“I–”

“Security cleared it out.”

“Jihoon, I’m not fit like you! I’m not a runner.”

“I’m not asking you to be. I’ll wait for you as long as you need.”

Your heart swelled. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“I’ll see you soon, firefly.”

The sound of his smile filled your senses as the call ended.

Despite your complaints earlier, your feet were carrying you at a pace you haven’t attempted since your required physical education class. Your eyes were darting around, searching, searching, searching. The adrenaline rushing through your body was enough to keep up your strides. You were rushing forward, and then–

You saw him.

He pushed his hair back, his chest rising up and down, attempting to catch his breath. He was definitely winded from the running. But there was no rest for the weary as your eyes locked. You found yourself barreling forward, not even really thinking of anything other than: him.

And his arms caught you with ease as you slammed yourself into his chest. He spun you around to lessen the impact, but tightened his grip on you. “Firefly–”

“Jihoonie.”

You held each other for a while.

Long enough for both of your breathing to even, for your heart rates to synchronize.

As though making up for lost time.

He adjusted his face just slightly away from the crook of your neck to speak. “Let’s go.”

“Where?”

“Anywhere you want.”

“Yeah, well. I’m the driver, so no shit.”

Jihoon laughed and squeezed you closer to him. You let out a grunt. “You call the shots, firefly.”

You disentangled yourself from him and pulled out your car keys from your person. “Alright, get in, my passenger prince. Let’s take a trip down memory lane, hm?”

──────────────────

“Hi! My name is Y/N. Here’s a seashell!”

The young boy’s expression contorted into one of confusion. You were completely unaffected. He looked around at the empty playground, save for a few pigeons here and there, before pointing to himself. “Are you talking to me?”

You knew for a fact that he was someone that the CU convenience store auntie would call a ‘cutie’. You’d agree! “I’d like to!”

“I’m… I’m Lee Jihoon.”

“Okay, Jihoon! Can we be friends?”

“S-Sure.”

“Awesome!” You clapped your hands together. “I don’t really know what friends do together, but let’s go on the swings! You can sit first and I’ll push you. I’m very strong.”

“No, it’s okay! I can push you—”

“You don’t think I’m strong enough?”

“No, no. That’s not what I said—”

“Get on the swing, Lee Jihoon!”

“O-Okay.”

──────────────────

“Do you remember when I pushed you on the swing so hard that you lurched forward and got a nosebleed from falling onto your face?”

“That was the first day we met, firefly.”

“Well, I wanted to know if you remembered.”

“To the point that it haunts me.”

“You were so small and cute back then. So shy.”

You half expected that the two of you were going to drive in silence, just basking in each other’s presence. But, remaining true to the dynamic you two always had, there was still so much to talk about. You told him about the drive down from Seoul and how Busan really needed to up its driving laws to match the rest of the country. He told you about how Soonyoung just finished performing “Hurricane” on stage and Jeonghan sent him the video.

You told him about how Jeonghan actually approached you.

“Aha.”

You couldn’t turn to see his expression, so you asked, “Why? Is that a bad thing?”

“He, uh. Might’ve witnessed me have a bit of a mental breakdown backstage, so.”

You took his nervous laughter as a sign to not push further. “Honestly, me on any given Tuesday.”

“What, your grad program?”

“Oh, man, I gotta tell you.”

And so the two of you exchanged both stories and banter until you finally saw the shoreline coming into view. Just a couple of moments later, you parked your car along the sidewalk at the edge of the beach. This was a more local area, far away from tourist spots.

“Ah, this place.”

“Lotta memories here,” you said. You shot him a big smile as you turned off the engine. “Let’s go make a new one.”

The two of you exited your car and threw your socks and shoes into the trunk of your car, just like you did with his parents’ car, when you were children.

As you both walked towards the edge of the water, you were very aware of the silence that had fallen onto the two of you.

There was an instinct in you that told you to remain quiet.

“You know,” Jihoon broke the silence. You smiled to yourself. “I’ve always admired how you were able to be so honest about your feelings, without worrying about what other people think.”

“That’s the nice way of saying that I don’t think before I speak.”

He laughed and you relished in it. “Maybe.”

You skipped forward a bit more, letting your toes dig into the now cooled sand, the sun long set. You had your back turned to him as you waited for him to continue speaking.

“I was always someone who kept to himself. Who never really shared my heart with anyone.”

You hummed as you turned to face him directly. “You did in your own way, I think. You just needed people who knew how to read between the lines.”

“I was never honest about the hard stuff though.”

“What do you mean?”

“I constantly asked myself if I was worthy enough to love you.”

You opened your mouth to retort, but he continued.

“You loved me in such loud ways. You honestly left no room for doubt, and yet my brain managed to squeeze in some anyway. But… you know what I eventually realized?”

“What?”

“I realized that if I were to give myself to anyone, to be safe with anyone in the world, it would be okay if it was you. You’ve always been honest. Your sadness. Your joy. I know I can trust it. Maybe that’s naive considering how long we’ve spent apart. But you’ve never been anything but honest. So this is me trying to do the same. Y/N, my light, my firefly, I love you.”

In his eyes you saw him searching for something, anything. He might’ve not been able to interpret the expression on your face, but there was no need to. You pulled the collar of your shirt down to reveal the ink forever etched into your skin, placed over your heart.

Art that was drawn on a paper towel a decade ago.

You knew even in the dim light of the street lamps high above you, he could see it.

His jaw dropped. “Wait. That’s—”

“I broke one promise in my life. Just one. And I told myself I would never do it again. No matter how stupid the promises were, no matter how mundane, no matter how old they were. I would never break another promise. Because breaking that one promise ended up breaking me. The promise that I’d always be by your side.”

“What are you—?”

“Because it’s you, it’s always been you. Ever since I gave you that stupid seashell from this very beach,” you gestured at your surroundings. “And it was stupid because you could easily get your own, but you kept it. Like it was a precious treasure.”

The rampant beating in your chest matched the rhythm of your words.

“I don’t know what the future holds, Jihoon. I have no idea and I’m terrified. I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know anything. Years at Yale, years at Seoul National, years spent in higher academia only taught me that I know so little. But you, oh, you were the worst reminder. I don’t get how you can make me feel so empty and filled at the same time. I don’t understand how you can make me feel at home with just a smile. I don’t know how you have such a hold on me. You’re just this strange enigma that I can’t seem to place, a riddle with no way to solve. But God, I so badly want to try. You’re a question I want to spend the rest of my life trying to answer. Because it’s you.”

He bit his lip and you wondered if you overwhelmed him.

“I’ve spent years, you know,” his voice barely above a whisper.

“Doing what?”

“Hoping that you would hear me. That my words would reach you,” he breathed out. His eyes softened as he recalled, “‘If a second life that’s different from now is to come to me, will I be by your side? Will you be by my side? I imagine things like this. Even if they’re words I mentioned as a joke. Will you believe me? Even if it’s a funny imagination. On a sudden day when I’m left alone, I’ll take my steps towards you again.’”

He stepped forward, hands reaching for yours, and you immediately took them, as soon as he was an arm’s length away. Physically, this wasn’t the closest he’s ever been, but it was the closest you’ve ever felt.

“‘You did this once before. Only by looking in your eyes I can tell. Whatever may happen, I want to know this emotion. When walking by my side, I don’t even want to let go of your hands. That flattering feeling is because of you, everything is so good.’”

He took another step forward, his voice dropped to barely above a whisper, hoping you could hear his words above his heart hammering in his chest.

“‘What can I do? Without you, my heart stops and it’s always cold. What can we do? Without me, you’ll struggle just as much, so what can we do?’” He paused, before recalling later lyrics. “‘I don’t wanna let you go like this. I don’t want to be scared with a broken heart. I’m the place you can come to. You’re the place I can go to.”

Tears formed in your eyes, but he brushed them away easily, now cupping your face within his hands, the tips of your noses brushing against each other, and you could have sworn he felt the fluttering of your eyelashes against him, dampened slightly by your watery eyes.

“‘I couldn’t express my feelings because I was too young. I wanted to be your tomorrow, so I lived today. Ever since the first day I saw you. In my heart, it’s always been you. These typical words, I’m only saying them now, but I hope these typical words will reach you.’”

You looked at him, your entire being filled and your senses flooded.

With him.

It was only him, him, him.

How could you not have realized?

His words, his feelings were so clear.

He had the kind of love for you that brings forth a melody.

His gentle voice drew you away from your own thoughts, “Thank you, firefly. For choosing me.”

“Always, Jihoonie. Always.”

He leaned in to close the distance.

You met him halfway.

──────────────────

Your hands were intertwined with his as you swung them lightly, back and forth, ebbing and flowing, like the waves almost reaching your feet on the coastline of the local beach where you would laze away during your adolescence and find adventure during your childhood.

The two of you fell into a comfortable rhythm, the sounds of the ocean and lull of the town around you, just basking in what felt like the stars finally aligning.

Jihoon squeezed your hand for a moment. “You know, I thought you left because you realized that I had feelings for you and didn’t want anything to do with me.”

“I’m sorry, what?” You stopped in your tracks and turned to face him, still not letting go of his hand, the sea breeze weaving itself between his and your hair.

He raised an eyebrow. “I thought I was pretty obvious. Hyung and noona thought the same. They figured it out pretty early on.”

“Um.”

He blinked. “You had no idea?”

“I—I thought you were in love with noona—”

“Hey, I might’ve thought she was pretty, but you were the one that turned that into something it wasn’t.”

“What! What about the times we went to try and find out whether the mini golf place was fun enough for a date idea? Or whether the food stand near the beach was romantic enough?”

“Please tell me you’re hearing yourself.”

“I’m—”

“Jesus, firefly. Are you serious? Did I end up ever taking her there? Did I even try? All of those places, all of those times, those were meant for you. You were the one who kept bringing up noona and what she would like while I was trying to figure out whether it would’ve been weird to reach out and hold your hand.” His grip tightened on yours.

You flushed at that. “Okay, but like—you spent so much time with noona before I left.”

“Because she was trying to help me plan something to get it through your thick skull just how in love I was because obviously none of the other things I did was enough.”

“I—you—she’s better than me.”

“I just confessed that I was in love with you, and you’re focusing on her right now?”

You blabbered out incoherent sounds and he merely laughed in your face at your reaction.

(Or maybe at himself.)

“Dozens of songs of writing my feelings for you into the lyrics, and you still didn’t get it. So. I’ll try and say it as clearly as possible. I love you, Y/N. What can I do to get you to notice me? Because I’ll do it, firefly. I swear I will.”

You bit your lip.

“I got my driver’s license.”

He wasn’t expecting that. “Uh… recently?”

“No. A month after you left, a month before I did. I got my driver’s license and I so badly wanted to call you to tell you. Because we talked about late night diner specials and how uncrowded the park was at six in the morning and you said I’d be your chauffeur forever.”

“Yeah, why should I have to learn?”

“Jihoon.”

“I’m doing alright without one, thanks.”

You rolled your eyes, but continued, “I drove around the neighborhood several times, passing by the mailboxes we used to Sharpie, the stop signs we tried to run up and slap, the sidewalks we crossed after hagwon, the sewer where we were convinced a clown lived.”

“That was a you thing, don’t drag me into it.”

“And I realized that none of it mattered if you weren’t in the passenger seat.”

“So, what are you saying? That I’m just good company?”

You eyed him and knew he was teasing, but there was a hint of insecurity underneath it. Because he said those words you had yet to acknowledge, let alone, respond to. The corner of your lips upturned. “Yeah, that’s it. And if it’s alright with you, I’d like to be in said company for at least one lifetime. I love you, Lee Jihoon.”

“You’re missing the ‘too,’ since I said it first.”

“You’re annoying.”

“It’s been one of the only ways to get you to look at me, firefly.”

“Mm. I’m always looking.”

“Respectfully?”

“Most times. Have you seen the ‘Good to Me’ choreo?”

He bumped your shoulder as you burst into a fit of giggles, choosing to let go of his hand to wrap your arms around his waist as he pretended to stomp off. He stuck his tongue out at you, calling you a pervert, and you said, “Hey, you’re the one that’s in love with me, alright?”

He swept you up into his arms and rather than carrying you princess-style or even in a piggy-back ride, he threw you over his shoulder and you yelped loudly.

“Jihoon!”

“Y/N!”

“Let me go!”

“Nope. Never again.”

You made a gagging noise. Who is this shameless kid?

“I’ll put you down though, my shoulder hurts.”

You smacked it once you were on your own two feet and ran as much as you could with the weight of your feet sinking into the wet sand with each step. He quickly closed the distance between the two of you and tackled you to the ground. You fell back, with his hand behind your head, ensuring no damage to your person. You giggled up at him.

The edge of the waves were mere centimeters from you, but seeing him against the endless night sky, with glittering stars, him, your moon, you could not bring yourself to care.

You had so many questions you wanted to ask him, about his life as an idol, about his pursuits and his struggles and his hopes and his dreams. You were so excited to fall in love with him again. You hoped that he would be just as excited to love the person that you’ve become, the one that is so wholly you, but has been transformed by him.

Leaving things left unsaid was a burden the two of you beared for far too many years, believing that you deserved the painful yearning of each other, to make up for the choices made as teenagers.

You breathed in the salt of the sea, as you thought about how, years ago, you were in the same city, letting this very person walk away from you. Shame washed over you, as it has for years, like the waves that were ebbing and flowing right beside you, and tears began to form in your eyes. It was almost embarrassing, how easily you let him slip away. He deserved so much.

“I’m a lot,” you choked out.

He smiled softly as he cupped your face gently, not moving to brush away tears that were threatening to fall. He simply held you, wordlessly accepting all that you were.

“Never too much, and always enough, firefly.”

You wanted to thank whatever higher power was out there.

Whatever one compelled Jihoon to search your Instagram page and accidentally like a post from years ago, a notification that could have been swiped away accidentally in the middle of the night by a bleary-eyed and half-awake you.

Because what kind of future would’ve come otherwise?

Would you have reconnected in some other way, more purposeful and intentional?

Or would you have convinced yourselves that living apart was something that was inevitable and it was better to have simply let the past be the past?

Or would you have yearned for each other in ways that even the potential of running into each other would lead to an eruption of nerves?

You breathed in slowly as you wrapped your arms around his middle, breathing him in, letting his heartbeat drown out even the sound of the crashing ocean beside you.

It didn’t really matter.

This future will be one that you build.

Together.

[끝.]

50 notes · View notes

idyllic-ghost · 4 months

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title: Forever Yours, Faithfully pairing: lee jihoon x fem!reader genre: romance, fluff, slight angst, smut warnings: mentions of food (sushi) and alcohol, mentions of clothes not fitting (jihoon buys reader something new, but one of the items are uncomfy bc women's sizes are weird), nsfw content (make-out in hot tub, fluffy smut, unprotected sex (don't do this, wrap it up pls), oral (f receiving), slight overstimulation) synopsis: Ever since you had Valentine's day ruined for you by an ex, you decided to never pay the holiday any attention ever again. However, when your new boyfriend finds out about this, he just has to do something for you and change the connotation you have with the fourteenth. wordcount: 9.7k taglist: @enhacolor, @shuabby1994, @junhui-recs, @dkakapizzaboy, @just-here-to-read-01, @loviehan, @userjunhuii, @novalpha, @bubblymoon, @aaniag

a/n: breaking my hiatus for a moment to post this valentine's fic! this is a @svthub fic swap for @wooahaeproductions! happy valentine's day, i hope you enjoy!🩷 and a special thank you to @wongyuseokie and @strawberryya for proofing this!

see the rest of the posts for the collab here

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✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

“... I hate it. I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh. Even worse when you make me cry…”

A knock at your door interrupted Kat Stratford’s monologue on your TV screen, forcing you to look away from the movie and put down your bowl of ice cream. Pausing the romantic comedy, you listened to see if you were just hearing things - secretly hoping that was the case. However, there was another knock. It sounded cautious rather than angry, so you had no real reason to worry about who was on the other side of your door. You reached for the tissue box to dry your tear-stained cheeks and adjusted your clothes to make you look at least halfway decent. Before you had even stood up from the couch, there was yet another knock at the door.

“I’m coming!” you shouted and stood up.

You weren’t expecting anyone and silently hoped it was just your neighbor needing something and not one of your friends trying to take you out for drinks. Valentine’s Day was tough for you, it had been for a couple of years now, and you knew that your friends were only trying to cheer you up. However, when you opened the door, you were met with someone that you hadn’t anticipated.

“Hi.” Jihoon stood in front of you, fidgeting with the strap of a bag.

“Hi,” you said, trying to hide your disheveled self behind the door.

“Have you been crying?” He asked with furrowed brows.

“Oh, uh… I was just watching a movie.” You wiped your face with your sleeve. “10 Things I Hate About You… the ending always gets me.”

“Right, I’m sorry I interrupted… I know you said that you didn’t want anything for Valentine’s Day, but…” He sighed and looked down at his feet. “I talked to Soonyoung, and he…”

At the mention of your mutual friend’s name, everything fell into place. He wasn’t a bad friend, not at all, but sometimes he found the most particular ways to get in your business. You knew it came from a good place. However, a warning would be nice.

“He blabbed, didn’t he?”

“Yeah…” He looked back at you. “I know it’s only been a couple of months or so, but I don’t want our first Valentine’s to be… well, this…”

“You’ve got something planned?” You couldn’t hide that you were pleasantly surprised, your joyful tone giving you away.

“It’s a bit last minute, but yes.”

You look into your messy apartment, internally fighting with yourself over whether or not letting him in was worth the embarrassment. When you look back at him, he seems patient - Jihoon always had a way of communicating without having to say a single word, his feelings coming through his expressive eyes or his gentle smile. You didn’t need to worry about making him agitated. He was always patient with you. Moving to the side and opening the door ever so slightly more, you silently invite him in.

You met Jihoon a few years ago, when you were still with your ex. The two of you never talked much, as a result of Jihoon being so introverted and your ex being a possessive jerk. The time spent with your ex wasn’t all bad, but the good times were drowned out by the bad times - such as your last Valentine’s together. Neither of you planned anything for the day, but you decided to do something last minute: dinner and a movie. When you told him of your plan, he exploded at you.

“I hate Valentine’s, okay!? It’s not my fault you think one day of pampering will fix our problems! Just go out with one of the other guys you’ve been texting- I’ve seen your messages!”

The words rang in your ears every time the holiday came, creeping back each year. Throughout the relationship with your ex, your needs were never met when you were with him. Things were different with Jihoon. Once you had broken up with your ex and a few months had passed for you to heal, Soonyoung introduced you to Jihoon again. It started slow, the two of you stayed friends for a little over a year before even considering dating. Mostly because you were still hurt but also because neither of you seemed to figure out what you both felt for each other. You remember your mutual friends’ reaction when you told them you had started dating; “Finally… we can stop pretending that you don’t make googly eyes at each other whenever you’re in the same room”, or something along those lines.

Now that you had been together for a couple of months, you didn’t understand what took you so long. Even though he was busy most of the time, he always put all of his attention on you whenever the two of you were together. However, when Valentine’s Day rolled around yet again, you didn’t plan anything. You didn’t ask or hint at anything that you wanted to do. You just let it be. That way, your heart stayed safe. Valentine’s wasn’t meant for you, or so you thought. Soonyoung had been with you through it and had been a shoulder for you to cry on from time to time. You swearing him to secrecy about the meaning of the day didn’t work when it came to Jihoon.

“What’s in the bag?” You asked and tried to take a peek.

“You’ll see.” Jihoon smiled proudly and pulled the bag behind his back, away from you. “Go get some things packed - just enough for one night. I’ll wait here for you.”

“Do I need to get dressed?”

“Whatever makes you comfortable.”

You looked at Jihoon in his usual attire - an oversized t-shirt, big pants, and slippers - and decided you could leave as you were. While throwing a few necessities in a bag, Jihoon stayed in the hallway and watched you. His proud smile never left him, and it made you all the more excited. Just the fact that he wanted to do something with you at all, and pulled himself out of work on his own accord, made you happier than you had ever been on any other Valentine’s.

Your happy jitters turned into nerves when you saw where Jihoon was driving you. A five-star hotel. Suddenly, the idea of staying comfortable over being dressed up didn’t feel very smart. It was an expensive part of town; people dressed to the nines walked up and down the streets, and you slowly sank further into your seat. As if he could sense your anxiety, Jihoon put a comforting hand on your thigh.

“We’re going in through a back door. Is that okay with you?” It was his way of reassuring you without pointing out your insecurities. “I want it to stay private. Going in through the main entrance could cause a scene.”

You nodded, although you were mostly happy to hear that you didn’t have to walk around in your sweats amongst people with thousand-dollar suits. Usually, you would’ve considered this a negative side effect of dating someone famous - but this time, it was welcomed.

“... why don’t you take a look in the bag now?” he suggested.

“I thought I wasn’t allowed to.”

“Just take a look,” he said, “I think it’ll calm your nerves.”

The bag sat between your legs, so you pulled it up to sit in your lap. Inside the bag was a beautiful green fabric. It felt expensive to the touch. When you pulled it up, you saw that it was a dress - a gorgeous, designer dress. Looking at the bag again, you finally recognize the high fashion brand.

“Jihoon…” You were at a loss for words.

“You’ll have time to freshen up inside, then you can put it on for me.” His eyes stayed on the road, but his ears turned red. “And there’s something else in there too… but you probably don’t want to pull it up in front of the window.”

You rummaged through the bag, seeing something lacy at the bottom of it. Turning to Jihoon with wide eyes, he still didn’t meet your gaze but was smiling. The two of you weren’t necessarily an innocent couple, you were not abstinent, but this was something that he hadn’t done for you before. Any nerves that you had felt before were now replaced with pure excitement. If this was just the beginning, then what else did he have planned?

The two of you made your way up to your suite rather easily. Jihoon got the keycard from the reception and helped carry your bags to the elevator. There weren’t many people around, seeing as you had just missed rush hour, and you ended up getting the elevator all to yourselves. The eleventh button was glowing. You couldn’t remember if you had ever been in a hotel room so high up. While you were lost in your thoughts, Jihoon snuck up right next to you and wrapped his arm around your waist. The bags were on the floor right by your feet, right next to the bag with your dress. The memory of the silky fabric made you smile. He had found something to your taste just for this occasion.

“I’m going to order some food when we get up,” Jihoon said. “But there’s a very nice bathroom with a waterfall shower so, if you want to freshen up before we go out later, I can postpone dinner.”

“We’re eating dinner in the hotel room, but still going out after?” You turned to him with an intrigued look. “What do you have planned?”

“It’s a secret.”

The suite was huge - which, to be fair, is what you should expect from a suite. When you walked in, you were met with the king-sized bed, its headboard against the wall. To the left of it were the windows and balcony, and if it hadn’t been for the cold, you would’ve stepped out on it immediately. To the right of the bed, the floor dipped down one step. There stood what seemed to be a jacuzzi. It was covered with a gray sheet, but the nozzle was still visible. On the other side of the jacuzzi was another small step up and a door - which you assumed was the bathroom.

“Where do you want your things?” Jihoon asked after putting his bag next to the bed.

“I’ll take it to the bathroom,” you hummed.

Jihoon gave you a small nod and a smile before handing you your bag. You carried your bag across the room to the bathroom. Once the door closed, Jihoon’s smile faded. He hated that he had to figure all of this out through Soonyoung. The history between you and your ex, the meaning of Valentine’s Day for you, and even what you wanted. It felt like he didn’t know you at all, even if you had been friends before you started seeing each other romantically. A big clump of sorrow had grown in his throat ever since he talked to Soonyoung about you earlier that day.

He was in his studio, working like any other day of the week. You had told him that you’d rather not do Valentine’s Day. That it wasn’t your thing, and Jihoon had taken that at face value and respected it. He thought it was what he was supposed to do as your boyfriend. If it weren’t for the city's decorations, he would have completely forgotten the holiday. In fact, he had forgotten that it was the fourteenth already. It was only when Soonyoung burst in with a cute bouquet that he remembered what day it was.

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” Soonyoung had shouted jokingly as he handed him the bouquet.

There was a small pink note attached to it. It said “Be Mine?” in curvy red letters. Jihoon scoffed at the gifts but still put them somewhere he wouldn’t forget them. The flowers had a small plastic bag with a wet paper towel wrapped around their ends, so they could make it another few hours before he put them in a vase.

“Where did you even find a floral shop right now? It’s only eight in the morning.”

“I have my ways.” Soonyoung shrugged. “What do you have planned for tonight?”

“Nothing,” Jihoon said nonchalantly.

The sudden silence from his usually loud friend made Jihoon push off one of the ear cushions of his headphones and turn to him.

“What?” he asked.

“You’re not doing anything for Valentine’s Day?” Soonyoung was unusually serious.

“Y/N said that she’d rather not do anything,” he answered. “Am I not supposed to respect that?”

“Did you ask her why?”

“I just assumed she didn’t like this kind of stuff. She doesn’t like those cheesy things.” Jihoon tried to brush off the sudden feeling of stress that he had done something wrong, but Soonyoung’s sad face only made him worry more.

“Maybe not, but you didn’t plan anything at all?”

“What?”

Soonyoung sighed, before going to make himself comfortable on Jihoon’s couch. Jihoon followed his friend’s every movement, suddenly feeling like it was hard to breathe. Had he really done something wrong by just respecting your wishes?

“I’m going to assume you don’t know anything,” he said.

“Know what?” Jihoon started getting frustrated.

“Okay, well… do you remember that guy Y/N was with a few years back?”

“You don’t have to remind me…” Jihoon sighed and leaned his head back. “Yes. I know what happened between them and that she hasn’t seen him since.”

“Yeah, but you don’t know about Valentine’s,” Soonyoung explained, “She broke up with him the day after- I don’t know all the details, but they fought about what to do on Valentine’s. She was trying to keep the relationship together, and he just snapped - said he didn’t like the fourteenth and basically made her feel like a burden for trying to patch things together.”

Jihoon put his face in his hands, trying to navigate how to handle this new information. How could he have known? Maybe he should have asked, but he didn’t want to intrude on her privacy… Everybody told him that communication is key, but nobody warned him that it would be this difficult.

“Y/N loves Valentine’s Day, as long as it’s not some cheesy thing- she didn’t lie to you about that,” Soonyoung said, “She’s just scared that if she put pressure on you about it, you’d blow up on her.”

“Why would she think that?”

“Because everyone’s not always rational.” Soonyoung stood back up and walked over to him. “Like you right now, you’re probably worrying about her not feeling safe around you. She does. She just has her problems to deal with. Instead of worrying, you should do something.”

“What? Like dinner and a movie?”

“No-” Soonyoung cleared his throat. “No. That’s what she wanted to do with her ex. Find something else.”

“What do people do on Valentine’s?” Jihoon’s eyebrows furrowed as he tried to find the answer to his question in some corner of his mind.

“Wine tasting.”

“Wine tasting?”

“She’s always wanted to go, and I know a place- and the owner…” He paused and quickly added, “Well… Mingyu knows the owner, but you get my point.”

“And you think Y/N wants that?”

“Definitely. Go find Mingyu and ask him to help you out.”

“I will, thank you.” Jihoon stood up and walked over to the door but turned to face his friend again. “When did you start acting wise?”

“I’m a man of many mysteries.” Soonyoung joked. “You can thank me by letting me borrow your studio.”

“... fine.”

“Yes!” He quickly got up his phone and started tapping. “If you see me go live, no, you don’t.”

Not even wanting to think about what that meant, Jihoon left the studio with a huff.

The sound of the water turning on in the shower brought Jihoon out of his thoughts. You seemed happy, albeit nervous, so he shouldn’t have anything to worry about… but he couldn’t help worrying about you and your feelings. He would do anything to make you forget about your past connotations with today. Jihoon got out his phone and looked at his messages. “Do you know that Soonyoung’s in your studio right now?” sent in different variations from many different people… he would have to worry about this later. Tonight was supposed to be all about you, so he turned off his phone and put it back in his pocket.

You were blissfully unaware of Jihoon’s troubles as you stood in the stream of the waterfall shower. The warm water created a comforting barrier around your body. The steam from it created a mist that seemed to silence all sounds except the water hitting the floor. You could close your eyes and forget everything around you for a moment. Letting the water run over your head yet another time before turning the nozzle off, you let yourself have a moment of pure silence. Without the water running down your body, the cold air started tickling your skin. You reached outside the shower and grabbed your towel, drying yourself off before wrapping it around you.

The bathroom of the suite was as luxurious as the rest of it. There was a window, currently fogged up from the steam, facing another part of the city than the windows in the bedroom. The toilet seemed to have different settings, given the many buttons you didn’t dare touch, and the sink had a wide marble top. In a box on the sink, there were a plethora of travel-sized sample products - and you looked through their assortment before doing your skincare. You could hear Jihoon talking on the other side of the door, probably ordering the two of you room service, but his voice was too muffled for you to hear what he was saying. You wondered just how much Soonyoung had told Jihoon for him to act this way. Jihoon wasn’t neglectful. However, he didn’t always know how to express how he felt through acts of service or coming up with cute dates. The two of you spent most of your time together the way you had when you were just friends, with some changes of course. Your most precious memories with Jihoon were from the simple times; watching movies together, going out to get coffee, or laying in bed together during the morning when neither of you could get up. He knew he didn’t have to do something like this, you had told him yourself, but he decided to do it anyway. You smiled to yourself as you put on the fluffy hotel bathrobe.

When you got out of the bathroom, you looked to your left to see an entire area of the room that you seemed to have missed. Your want for a luxurious shower was bigger than your want to explore the room, it seemed. The unknown area of the hotel room had a couch with a TV in front of it and a lonely armchair standing in the corner. There was a small bar with a minifridge, and on the coffee table stood a pink, heart-shaped box and a bouquet of red roses in a vase. Beside the coffee table stood a very flustered Jihoon, looking puzzled at the sight of the box and flowers.

“Are those for us?” You asked, making Jihoon look at you.

He paused for a moment at the sight, forgetting the box of chocolates on the table, his jaw first going slack before he started smiling. Clearing his throat, he looked back at the coffee table and picked up a note to show you.

“It looks that way,” he said.

You took the note from him; “Enjoy the evening! Happy Valentine’s Day, from the staff of Prestige View,” it said in bold golden letters. You turned it around in your hand, but there was nothing else on the back.

“I told them it was a Valentine’s getaway. I didn’t think they’d do something like this so last minute,” Jihoon said and took another look at you. “Did you enjoy the shower?”

“It was the most wonderful shower I’ve had in a while.” You put down the card and approached him with your arms open. “Thank you for doing this. It’s very sweet.”

“You don’t have to thank me… I wanted to do this,” he assured you as he wrapped his arms around you.

Jihoon nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck, and you could feel his cool breaths against your warm skin. You squeezed him tighter as he whispered how beautiful you looked. It was barely audible, and you silently acknowledged it by pressing a kiss to the side of his head. He pulled away from you with a small smile, his eyes sparkling with adoration. Your moment was ruined by a knock at your door and a voice shouting, “Room service!”.

“I’ll get that; make yourself comfortable.” Jihoon left your side.

You sat down on the plush cushions of the couch, practically sinking into the fabric - almost like floating on a cloud. Just as you put a blanket over your legs, Jihoon comes back with a big tray. You let out a delighted gasp as he put it down on the coffee table.

“You still like sushi, right?” Jihoon joked as he went to grab two bottles of water from the mini-fridge.

“Yes.” You looked over the large tray and the many different kinds of sushi bites.

Quickly, you patted the space beside you for him to sit down. Jihoon put the bottles on the table and sat down. You captured his face with your hands and brought your lips to his cheek for a thank-you kiss. The sudden act of affection had the man beside you stumped - barely moving while you reached for the tray with your chopsticks.

“You’re being ridiculous,” he chortled with a reddened face.

“No, am not- dish ish amashing,” you said with your hand over your mouth to hide the piece of sushi you were still chewing.

You looked over at Jihoon, who had still not touched the food. He was still stuck looking at you as if he was trying to memorize every detail of how you looked at this moment. With one hand, he reached over to your head and ruffled your hair despite your grunts of protest coming from you.

“Eat well,” he said and started eating himself.

Once the food was finished, at least as much as you could muster, and after a food coma nap on the couch, the two of you started getting ready for the mysterious evening. Whatever he had planned, Jihoon wasn’t telling you. All you knew was that he wanted you to wear the dress he had gotten you, so while Jihoon was in the shower, you picked up the bag and looked at the garments inside. It was a silky dress and lingerie with a matching color. The thought of your boyfriend knowing exactly what you were wearing under your dress throughout the rest of the evening felt exciting in some strange way.

Your fingers grazed the green fabric of the dress - you were almost too afraid to put it on. It looked expensive. A part of you wondered how he had gotten it so fast. Had he gotten someone else to get it for him? Had he gone into stores himself? Picturing it in your head almost made you start laughing. You could see him furrowing his brows at the sizes and different shapes. Mustering up the courage to put it on, you sadly find out that the underwear doesn’t fit very comfortably. And although you want to wear it for him, it would just not work. So you put on the undergarments that you had brought with you - which were not as luxurious as the ones he had bought, but they were still pretty. You had packed it at the last minute, just in case you needed it. More importantly, the dress fit you perfectly to the point that you questioned how he could pick it out.

When Jihoon got out of the bathroom, he was already dressed. His hair was still slightly damp, it was slicked back to the best of his abilities, but a few strands of hair still fell over his face. His all-black suit made you think of one of those dramas where the main female character gets together with a demon.

“You look beautiful,” he said, but his eyes drifted over to the bed where the lingerie he bought was still lying. “Are you…”

“It didn’t fit,” you answered quickly. “I put on something that I brought. I hope that’s okay.”

“Of course, it’s okay.” He walked over to the bed to return the garments in their bag. “I’ll just get you a better size next time.”

“Next time?” You raised your eyebrows in surprise.

“Sure, why not?” He put the bag down on the floor and turned back to you. “I liked getting you these…”

“Well, I won’t stop you.” You walked up next to him and held onto his arm. “You look very handsome, by the way.”

Jihoon put his hand on top of yours, still holding onto his forearm, and gently squeezed it as a silent thank you. A soft squeeze of your hand was his usual way of communicating things to you that he didn’t know how to express verbally. The casual compliment proved too much for him; he avoided eye contact, and you could see his ears turning red. You would never think that this man could get so flustered the first time you talked to him. He was quiet then too, but he was calm and collected. Maybe it was a front, and maybe he was good at hiding these things from strangers - either way, you were happy that he felt a little more comfortable now.

The two of you made your way to the hotel restaurant, and you were looking for something that could tell you what you were in for. Dark hallways and furniture, lit up by elegant chandeliers in the ceiling and sleek lights on the walls, made the hotel seem endless. You and Jihoon walked in comfortable silence, mostly because you were trying to focus on finding signs. There were other people around you dressed in visibly expensive clothes, so you knew that it wasn’t a private event. However, you had no idea what kind of thing Jihoon could come up with.

At the entrance to the restaurant, you were greeted by a tall man with a slim mustache. He was dressed in the colors of the hotel and had a small name tag. You neither had the time nor energy to read what it said, as it was written in complicated cursive, and the man quickly opened the door for you after Jihoon said his name. In the restaurant, there were round tables placed in a half-circle. By each table stood two chairs, and the man by the door brought you to one by a large floor-to-ceiling window. Out the window, you could see the entire city. It wasn’t very late, so most of the windows in the buildings surrounding you were lit. The man pulled the chair out for you, and you sat down.

“Thank you,” you said, and the man walked away.

A tall candle, a small plate and knife, and a myriad of wine glasses were on the table. In front of you was a small card, and on the front of it said “Menu” in the same kind of cursive as on the man’s ineffective name tag.

“Are we eating more?” you asked with a worried glance at Jihoon.

“Open it,” he answered simply.

You opened the card and read a list of French and Italian names, most of which you couldn’t pronounce.

“Wine?” You looked back up at Jihoon with big eyes. “Is this a wine-tasting event?”

“Do you like it?”

“Are you kidding? I love it,” you said with a big smile. “Thank you, honey.”

Jihoon didn’t have time to respond as another man, dressed similarly to the man by the door, stood in the middle of the half-circle and began speaking. The murmur of the people in the room died down as everyone turned their attention to the man.

“Welcome to our Valentine’s wine-tasting event,” he said with a clear and loud voice, “I will be presenting the wines for you all tonight, along with the assortment of refreshments that go along with them. To start the night, our servers are currently providing you with an extra dry Prosecco.”

A server approached your table and poured the sparkling wine into your glasses as if on cue. The murmur started up again as everyone began talking about the wine. You thanked the waiter, and he walked away.

“This 2022 sparkling wine, made of the Glera grape, has hints of apple and honey,” the wine presenter said. “This is produced in the province of Trieste, Italy…”

The man kept talking, but you started to tune him out when he started saying words you didn’t recognize. You carefully sniffed the wine before taking a sip of it.

“Good?” Jihoon asked.

“Very good.” You put your glass down and opened the booklet of wines. “I don’t know how much I should drink of it… how many glasses are on the menu?”

“Six,” he answered. “Including the Prosecco.”

You looked at the list; Pinot Grigio, Chardonnay, Merlot, Nebbiolo, and Vin Santo… yeah, you’d be drunk by the end. The glasses weren’t extremely big, and they certainly didn’t fill the glass all the way, but there was no way you’d walk out of here just barely tipsy if you drank everything.

“Drink as much as you want, okay?” Jihoon brought you out of your spiraling thoughts. “I’ll take care of you- even if I have to carry you out of here.”

You chuckled at his joke and comfortably brought the glass of Prosecco to your lips again. Jihoon was still looking at you when you put your glass down. He had a certain look in his eye that you had only really seen a couple of times before. Mischief mixed with something sentimental - playful and romantic.

“What?” You asked.

“All of this…” He motioned to your surroundings. “It suits you… it’s sexy.”

“Sexy?” You raised your brows as you raised your glass to your lips again. “Good to know.”

Jihoon looked away from you, one of his hands coming up to hide his reddened face. He let out a huff and straightened his back.

“I just mean that-”

“No, I heard you,” you teased.

Before Jihoon could get another word in, the servers came out with the next wine; Pinot Grigio, paired with small crackers with goat cheese and apricot jam. The presenter began speaking about the wine again, but your head was already buzzing, and you were far too distracted to listen to him. One of your feet was running up the inside of Jihoon’s calf. Your hand was resting on the table between you, and Jihoon quickly put his hand on top of yours.

“What are you up to?” He asked with a strained smile.

“Hm?”

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” You picked up the second glass of wine as you brought your foot up higher.

You brought the wine to your lips, letting out a delighted hum before putting the glass down again. Jihoon squeezed your hand as your foot was now brushing against the inside of his thigh. Instead of backing down, you let go of Jihoon’s hand and picked up one of the crackers. A little bit of jam got on your finger as you put the appetizer in your mouth. You locked eyes with him as you put the tip of your finger in your mouth.

“You’re insatiable,” he said.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You shrugged and grabbed your drink again.

Jihoon shook his head slowly, picking up his glass. However, just as he started to enjoy teasing, you brought your foot back down. He gave you a confused look, trying to figure out your motive.

“Did you like the wine?” You asked, ignoring the tension growing between you.

After each glass, the soft buzzing feeling in your head grew more prominent. You got giggly and touchy - you couldn’t seem to let go of Jihoon’s hand across the table. The restaurant offered you bread and other refreshments along with your drinks and played romantic ballads over the speakers. It wasn’t like anything you had done with Jihoon before, but it was just perfect for tonight. Your teasing under the table had stopped, although you sometimes nudged your foot next to his, but the tension it had left between you didn’t break. At this point, you weren’t listening to the wine presenter nor taking his advice on how you should drink the wine. Maybe some of the wine-tasting experience was gone because of it, but you were more than content with the night still. When they brought out the Vin Santo, they also came out with a dessert; a tiramisu shaped into a heart and two spoons. Jihoon quickly picked up one of the spoons and let it sink into the dessert. The spoon dipped into the creamy dessert, ruining the layer of cacao powder laying on top. Picking the spoon back up with a perfectly bite-sized piece on it, he held it up to your mouth.

“Are you feeding me?” You asked with a giggle.

“I want you to have the first bite.” He smiled and urged the spoon toward you again.

You opened your mouth and as you closed it around the spoon, you were hit with an explosion of flavor - the strong espresso, the bitter cacao, and the sweet lady-fingers and cream. The two of you laughed, for no real reason, as Jihoon pulled back the spoon.

“This has been so nice,” you said and motioned to the last glass on the table. “But I won’t be able to finish this drink…”

“That’s alright,” he hummed. “Do you want to… go back to our room?”

“Yes, please.”

After, not so carefully, sneaking out of the restaurant while the wine presenter was talking, you walked through the long hallways towards your room. Jihoon's hand was at first only placed on your lower back, but eventually snuck around your waist to keep the both of you upright. The two of you had been drinking a lot, but the long walk helped sober you up just a little. You'd definitely get a headache in the morning, but it wasn't something you couldn't handle. As the two of you finally got to your hallway, you were ready to throw yourself in bed - but Jihoon apparently had other plans.

“I still have another surprise for you, you know.” He held your waist firmer, keeping you close to his side. “They should’ve set it up for us in the room by now.”

You excitedly giggled as you watched Jihoon fumble with the keycard before unlocking the door. As soon as he opened it, the smell of roses hit your nose. By your feet laid a trail of red rose petals, which was leading you into the room. You followed the trail with careful steps and looked up as they came to a stop. The jacuzzi was now turned on and bubbling. In the water, even more rose petals were floating. Jihoon came up behind you and wrapped his strong arms around your waist.

“Is it okay?” He whispered next to your ear.

“It’s perfect,” you answered softly and with a warm smile. “If this is last minute, I can’t even imagine what you could do with time on your hands.”

“You could find out,” he suggested and pressed a kiss to the area where your neck meets your shoulder.

Jihoon’s words, although softly spoken and barely over a whisper, sent a shiver down your spine. His hands played with the fabric of your dress, and you leaned back against his chest to fully welcome his embrace. The soft kisses he was placing on your shoulder and neck didn’t stop, and you leaned your head to the side to allow him more access.

“I’d love to keep this going,” you whispered. “But I don’t want to waste all this.”

Your boyfriend sighed and let you go, the absence of his arms leaving a chilly imprint around your waist. You went to take off your shoes. After putting your feet on the floor, you looked up to see Jihoon taking out his button-up from his pants to unbutton it. You watched in anticipation as he shrugged off the shirt, watching the muscles in his back move as he did. He threw his shirt on a chair before unbuckling his belt, all while being unaware of you ogling at him. When his pants had been unbuttoned, he finally looked back at you - at your fully dressed form.

“Are you going to make me get in alone?” He asked.

“I…” You paused to find an excuse. “Well, since I didn't have time to get you a Valentine's Day present, I thought you could unwrap me instead.”

"Ah, so that's the only reason you were just standing there looking at me?" Jihoon teased.

"Definitely." You nodded, content with your answer.

Jihoon motioned for you to come over to him, which you quickly did. You had no trouble unzipping yourself from this dress but getting a little help never hurt. His hands made work of your zipper, slowly dragging it down your back. The soft touch of his fingers tracing the edges of your lingerie had your head buzzing more than the amount of wine you had been drinking.

“Thank you,” you murmured and let the straps slide off your shoulders.

It always felt a little nerve-wracking to get undressed in front of him - being vulnerable with him like this was still somewhat new to you. Nevertheless, the feeling of him embracing you again comforted you.

“You look beautiful,” he said. "I thought it'd be fun to buy lingerie for you, but letting it be a surprise might be better..."

You got out of his grip and turned to him, putting a hand on his chest to prevent him from wrapping his arms around you again. Jihoon was grinning like a love-sick fool - an expression that you hadn’t seen much of before, but that you could definitely get used to.

“Stop fooling around,” you said. “We haven’t even gotten in the hot tub yet…”

"Then let me finish unwrapping my present," he argued with a flirtatious tone.

You let your hand fall to your side, allowing Jihoon to approach you again. His hands went behind your back, playing with the edge of your lingerie again before unhooking the bra. He took his hands back from behind you and gently, almost innocently, pulled the straps of your bra down. The garment fell to the floor with a soft thud. Jihoon brushed your hair to the side, pressing a few kisses on your neck before trailing them down your clavicle; down between the valley of your breast, over your stomach. When he was down on his knees, he looked back up you - silently asking for permission as he played with the hem of your panties. You nodded, and Jihoon pressed a kiss to your hipbone before pulling them down.

After getting fully undressed, and after Jihoon grabbed the box of chocolates and two bottles of water, you sat down in the jacuzzi. With one hand, he opened up the box and put the lid on the floor. He picked up a random piece and put it in his mouth, making a weird grimace.

“Not good?” You asked.

“No.” He shook his head. “Could you hand me the water?”

You picked up one of the bottles for him, unscrewing the top and handing it to him before you grabbed the second bottle for yourself. Drinking the cold water contrasted nicely with the hot bath. While it didn’t help you to sober up completely, it helped you clear your head a little.

“Sad to let them go to waste…” you said as you put the cap back on your bottle, and he hummed in agreement.

“I’ll take them with me, maybe someone else likes them.” He put down the water bottle and offered to put yours down as well, which you gladly accepted.

Jihoon let out a sigh and leaned his head back, while you moved over to sit beside him. One of your hands caressed his chest and landed on his shoulder, while your head rested on his other shoulder. Jihoon wrapped one of his arms around your frame, trying to pull you impossibly close.

“Tonight was perfect,” you confessed.

“You’re talking like the night’s over.” He turned his head to look at you.

“It’s not over?”

“It doesn’t have to be.” Jihoon cupped your face in his palm, bringing your face closer to his.

The two of you looked into each others’ eyes before he suddenly broke out into an embarrassed fit of giggles. His forehead leaned against yours.

“Sorry… that was cheesy, wasn’t it?” His thumb was caressing your cheekbone, slowly going back and forth over the soft skin.

“It was sweet,” you assured him. “But a little bit cheesy, yes.”

He let out another short laugh and turned away from you, suddenly very shy. Your hand left his shoulder to turn his face back to you. The way that he looked at you drowned out all sound, even the sound of the hot tub jets, and for a moment you let yourself be engulfed by bliss. It wasn’t how you had imagined spending Valentine’s Day - it was better than you could have imagined. You wrapped your arms around Jihoon’s neck and brought him closer for a kiss. At first, it was gentle, practically just a peck, but then you grew hungry. In a sudden need for more, you pressed your lips against his again. Your lips danced for dominance, all the while Jihoon gripped your hips to maneuver you to straddle his lap. Everything was spinning, you found yourself completely lost in his kiss - only for Jihoon to break it, the feeling of him smiling against your lips making you smile as well.

“What?” you asked, out of breath.

“Nothing,” he said. “Just you.”

You rolled your eyes at his comment, but couldn’t help your smile growing wider. Jihoon pressed another kiss to the corner of your lips, then on your jaw, down your neck, and on your clavicle. Exploring every inch of you that he could reach, Jihoon pulled you in closer. The action made you come closer to his already hardened cock. Testing out the waters, you started slowly grinding against him. Between lingering kisses against your skin, Jihoon let out soft groans and whimpers - it wasn’t even in his head to tell you to stop. Your fingers raked through his hair, silently urging him to keep going.

“Jihoon.” You let out a shaky breath. “Baby…”

“What?” He pulled away and looked up at you, pupils blown out to double their normal size and hair messy by your doing. “Is something wrong?”

“Yes,” you whimpered. “I need you.”

“In here?” He looked amused at your sudden desire. “Right now?”

“I don’t care-”

In a split second, Jihoon manhandled you to sit with your back against his chest. Water splashed around the tub, possibly spilling off the edge as laughter spilled from your lips. One of Jihoon’s arms was wrapped around your waist, while his other hand was spreading your thighs apart. His lips were back on your neck again - his kisses and his fingers drawing patterns on the inside of your thigh were making you dizzy.

“Is this okay?” He asked.

“Yes.”

At this point, you were aching - the simple touch of his hand where you needed him most had you falling apart. While his middle- and ring finger circled your clit, his other hand ran across your body. Jihoon was everywhere, there was no way you could escape him - so you let yourself be engulfed by all of him, slowly sinking into your body. Your mouth hung open, and your moans and whines were impossible to hide. His hot breath fanned against your neck, teeth grazing against the delicate skin before his soothing tongue made contact with it. His other hand reached your chest, fingers circling your nipple. Suddenly, in desperate need to ground yourself, you grabbed his hand. Your breath hitched in your throat as his fingers plunged inside you, his palm still grazing against your clit. The grip you had on his hand tightened, and you could feel him smiling against your neck. Jihoon’s hand moved expertly as if he already knew every crevice of your body - and where his touch would drive you mad. Your hips stuttered against his hand.

“There you go,” he murmured in your ear. “Fall apart on my fingers, baby, you can let go.”

The feeling of him lightly biting down on your earlobe, and the persistent thrusting of his fingers, made something snap in your lower stomach. A wave of pleasure washed over you, your body moving on its own against his hand. You could hear water splashing on the floor, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care about it at that moment. Jihoon left his hand in between your legs, letting you ride out your high against it. His other hand lovingly held onto yours still, not even planning on letting go unless you did so first.

“Are you alright, darling?” His velvety voice brought you back to the real world.

As soon as you tried to move, Jihoon helped you to move your legs to sit across his lap. Leaning your head against his shoulder, you finally found your voice.

“I’m more than alright,” you answered.

One of Jihoon’s hands rested on your back, while the other held your legs. In his arms, you were safe - you had a feeling you always would be. You snuggled your face into the crook of his neck and closed your eyes. However, the feeling of something hard pressing against your thigh had your mind drift off to other things.

“Jihoon?”

He hummed in response.

“Could you help me get to bed?”

“Tired already?”

“Not a chance.”

The two of you managed to get out of the hot tub and dry off quickly - not caring about being completely dry before moving over to the bed. Plush pillows and covers welcomed you as you practically jump into them. You held out your arms to Jihoon, and he quickly came to your embrace. Leaning over you, his hair fell in front of his face - but he didn’t seem to mind. Instead of brushing it to the side, he leaned down and placed a kiss on your lips. Clearly, he had a more important objective, and so it was up to you to brush his hair away from his face. You held it back, intertwining your fingers in his locks, and he let out a delighted sigh as your nails gently scratched against his scalp.

“Let me take care of you too,” you suggested as you broke the kiss.

For a moment, Jihoon considered it. He couldn’t deny that he loved having your lips wrapped around his cock, or even just your hand, but he couldn’t forget why he was here in the first place.

“Tonight’s about you,” he reminded you. “Just relax and let me take care of the rest.”

You couldn’t exactly say no to that kind of proposition. One of Jihoon’s hands traveled down your body again, separating your legs for a second time tonight. You wrapped your legs around his hips, pulling him closer. The soft and slow was nice, but now you were getting antsy. A smile flashed across Jihoon’s face, which he tried to hide by biting down on his bottom lip. Showing him your unabashed want for him was something he’d never get used to. As he lined himself up with your core, you moved your hands to grip onto his shoulders. The stretch of him entering still managed to feel like the first time you had been with him like this. As he bottomed out, you let out a guttural moan - still sensitive from your earlier orgasm.

“Fuck, you feel amazing…” Jihoon rested his head in the crook of your neck.

Having struggled through the entire night, trying not to take you on the couch earlier or even on top of the restaurant table, this alone was almost too much. The sting from your nails digging into his back cleared up his fogged-up head slightly, and he started moving. Jihoon’s movements were slow, agonizingly so, but if he moved any faster he was afraid he might cum on the spot. This entire night had been a tease for him, and now that he finally got what he wanted he didn’t know how to act. Jihoon lifted his head and looked at your face. Your eyebrows were furrowed, your eyes shut tight, and your bottom lip slipped between your teeth. Brushing his thumb against your cheek, and cupping your face in his palm, your eyes fluttered open to look at him.

“Please, Jihoon,” you whimpered. “Just a little faster?”

How could he say no to you? His hips picked up their pace, while his head was back in the crook of your neck. You let out a surprised moan as his teeth dug into your skin, as he tried to contain himself. How could you look more beautiful every time he laid his eyes upon you? Jihoon swore that you’d kill him someday if it continued like this. He leaned back up on his arm. The hand that wasn’t holding him up went to grab your thigh, pulling one of your legs up to rest on his shoulder. A string of swears flooded out of his mouth, and he switched positions so that he was sitting up. Your hips were pulled up on his thighs, your back arched up from the bed, and your jaw went slack as Jihoon’s hips pistoned into you - hitting a spot inside you each time that made you see stars. Your hands went to grab something, anything and landed on the sheets. The white fluffy sheets creased under the pressure of your grip. You couldn’t hold it in anymore - between managing to hit your g-spot with each thrust and your previous orgasm, you were getting all too close to the edge.

“Oh- shit,” you moaned. “I’m gonna cum-”

“Cum for me, baby,” he groaned in response.

Your body twitched as you let go, cumming a second time this night. Jihoon, filled with a sudden determination, didn’t stop. He switched positions to lean over you again. The more intimate position allowed you to grab onto him again. Even when you had come down from your orgasm, he didn’t stop - and you weren’t about to tell him to to do so.

“Give me another one,” he practically begged.

“I can’t-”

“Yes you can, darling,” he growled. “Just let go of everything, just focus on me.”

Your legs were around his hips again, and your arms wrapped around his neck. Jihoon leaned his forehead against yours, his eyes staring into your soul. One of his hands slipped between your bodies, messily rubbing your swollen clit. You felt like you were about to explode, spasming at his movements.

“Fuck- I love you,” he groaned, “Cum for me again, darling- cum with me…”

At his command, your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you came for a third time. Jihoon followed shortly after, pulling out to cum on your stomach. He threw his head back as he pumped his cock with his fist. Your limbs were unmovable, falling to the bed with a thump. His words rang in your ears. “I love you”. Was it a slip-up? Something that just happened in the heat of the moment? Or did he mean it? You didn’t have much time to think about it. Jihoon placed a kiss on your forehead, mumbling something about getting you cleaned up, before he got off the bed and went over to the bathroom.

Jihoon came back with the forgotten water bottles from before and a warm, wet towel - cleaning you up with a gentle touch, making sure that he wasn’t too rough with your aching body. When he was done, helped you under the covers before he got in himself. The water bottles were standing on the bedside table, waiting for you tomorrow morning when you’d need them most. You lay on your side, and Jihoon curled up next to you - his arms wrapped around your frame. The words he had spoken never left your thoughts. Jihoon, unaware of your spiraling thoughts, cuddled closer to you, but your stiff body caught him off guard.

“Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?” He asked quickly.

“No- no… I’m fine,” you said. “It’s just… did you mean that?”

“What did I say?” Jihoon’s eyes widened.

“When you-… before-… you said ‘I love you’,” you mumbled.

With his body lying so close to you, you could hear his breath hitch. A moment of silence passed between the two of you. Jihoon’s fingers were nervously drumming against your back, you could almost hear the gears in his brain turning to think of something to say. He stirred around the bed, moving to look at you. There was no regret in his eyes, only worry.

“I’m sorry-”

“I love you too.”

Jihoon let out a short breath, which turned into a relieved laugh. The sound of his laugh made you relax, melting into his embrace again. You were struck with a sudden wave of embarrassment, hiding your face in his chest. He put his chin on the top of your head, wrapping his arms tighter around you.

“I didn’t mean to let it slip out like that,” he murmured. “I mean- I was planning on telling you, just not… like that.”

“I know,” you said and adjusted yourself to look back at him again.

Jihoon’s body relaxed under your hands, his muscles releasing any sign of tension. There was a little voice in your head, anxiously asking “What now?”, but you decided to ignore it for now. At this point, you had no reason to worry. You had an entire future ahead of you, and you got to spend it with the man lying next to you. It was more than you could ask for. Suddenly, Jihoon got a weird look on his face - as if he had just remembered something important that he had forgotten to do.

“Shit… did I forget to ask you to be my Valentine?” he asked.

You thought back to the day, trying to remember if he had ever carried out the silly tradition, and couldn’t recall that he had asked you.

“I think so,” you hummed. “You have to hurry, the day’s almost over.”

There wasn’t a clock nearby that you could check, it might have already been the fifteenth, but you couldn’t find it in you to care. Jihoon cleared his throat ceremoniously and tried his best not to burst out laughing again.

“Will you be my Valentine, Y/N?”

“I’ll always be your Valentine, Jihoon,” you answered.

Quiet laughs echoed through the big room, as the two of you lay in bed talking until you fell asleep.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . ⁺ 　 ✦ B O N U S ✦ ⁺ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . ⁺ 　

"Sooo?"

Jihoon hadn't even noticed that Soonyoung had approached him, or that he was even in the building, and jumped a little as the man came up beside him.

"So what?" Jihoon kept walking towards the elevator.

"How was the date?"

"Good."

"Just good?"

"Yeah."

The two of them stood in silence, both of them waiting for the elevator to reach their floor. Jihoon adjusted his sunglasses and hoodie, trying to not avoid the bright lights as much as possible. He had wanted to stay at the hotel with you, to spend a quiet morning in bed together was all he wanted. However, when he's suddenly called into an important meeting he can't just ignore it - no matter how much he wanted to. Jihoon let out a quiet sigh. You were probably still in bed right now. He had paid the hotel to make sure you could take as long as you wanted to get up, all you had to do was leave the keycard in the reception before you left. As Soonyoung started whistling, Jihoon seriously started to regret not giving into your pleading to stay in bed with you. He'd kill to get to still be under those covers - he'd even let you press your cold feet against his warm body if it meant that Soonyoung would just stop whistling.

"Would you stop that?" He hissed.

"Damn... you woke up on the wrong side of the bed." Soonyoung huffed. "Poor Y/N... she probably can't even walk, right?"

"What?"

"Because of the hangover," he explained. "If you're like this, I can only imagine what it's like for her. How much did you drink last night?"

Jihoon stayed quiet.

"Wait, what did you think I meant?" Soonyoung asked with a knowing smile.

"Shut up," Jihoon groaned.

"I'm just joking, come on!" He poked Jihoon's arm. "Did you bring me back a souvenir?"

Jihoon, struck with a sudden wave of evil genius, reached into his bag and took out the weird-tasting chocolates. He handed them to Soonyoung, who giddily accepted them.

"Chocolates? For me? Gosh, you're such a romantic!"

Finally, the doors to the elevator opened with a pleasant ding. The two idols walked in, still completely silent. Seokmin came running down the hall, holding his hand out and shouting at them to hold the elevator. Jihoon held his hand out before the doors could close, and the younger man managed to get in just in time.

"Thank you," he said breathlessly.

The elevator started going up, while the three of them stood in silence. However, Seokmin quickly took note of the big pink box Soonyoung was holding.

"Who gave you chocolates? Isn't it a little late."

"Jihoon got them for me," Soonyoung bragged.

"Is that true?" Seokmin looked over at Jihoon who nodded. "Wow, I almost thought you'd bite his head off after Soonyoung's live yesterday... I mean I know it was Carat Day, but I didn't expect you to do that in..."

Soonyoung tried to shush the younger man, but it was already too late. Jihoon sighed, and turned his head to the elevator doors again. Maybe turning off his phone for the night wasn't the best idea, even if it was worth it to spend a quiet evening with you.

"Soonyoung," Jihoon said with a stern voice. "What did you do in my studio?"

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