#KES AND LUCAS SHE SAID IT SHE DID | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

writingcold · 8 months

Text

Hi there. Welcome to Chapter 14. The past few chapters have been rough. I know. But we got our Junebug to safety, right? So, without further ado…

If you are just joining us, you can find the Master List to the series here

A very huge hug and thank you goes out to @lvnterninthenight, @gardensgatedaisy and @whitesuitjake. Your support, ear, talent and just friendship means more than anything.

This is a work of fiction, and is totally mine. Please do not take it for your own personal use. I’ve put in hours of research, hours upon hours of writing, re-writing, screaming, yelling and vomiting over this epic of a story. But it is mine.

Content warning: The only thing I’m putting in here this time is it’s 18+ for a reason. That’s why there’s a mature label on it. Maybe I should put ‘romantic interlude’, blush and get on with the story.

Word count: approx. 4400

Chapter Fourteen: Safety, Falling Apart, Return to Love - Cora POV

Dorothy Baroski’s farm was six, nearly seven miles, north of Arbor Vitae, Wisconsin. Nestled amongst thick woods, she did well for herself on the one hundred and twenty acres that provided hay and corn and supported a few cows and sheep. She led an unconventional life. She refused to marry again after her husband died a hero in the great war, opting to run their small farm on her own. Though no children of her own, Dotty was known to take in strays; those souls broken or lost, until they were once again on their feet. The only one that stayed was Lucas. He was a young teen when his parents were taken by the Spanish flu and had no other family that would accept him. The young man was as close to a son as she could ever hope for in her busy life.

Dotty and Lucas had met them in town, despite the rains, with a cover on the wagon. The house was a rambling affair with lots of rooms of dreams that Dorothy and her husband never were able to fully realize. But each corner, each nook and cranny, were filled with the warmth that the woman provided to the world. Jacob was correct - he had sent them to a sanctuary that Junie could start again.

Cora walked with Marcus every morning, looking for whatever the man was searching for and never to be found. Whatever threat that may have been perceived did not trail them south. She knew her friend was to return to Kingsford once he was assured the women were safe. It pained her to say goodbye as it seemed to be her only current tie linking back to Jacob. She was struggling. Cora did not in any fashion believe that taking care of her sister was wrong, but the absence of Jacob was a bitter wound that was beginning to wear through her heart. Her lungs burned so much at times that she wanted to run right back to Kingsford. The idea of such selfishness pierced her. She needed to care for Junie. She needed to be strong for her sister. But how was she supposed to stay strong when her whole body was screaming at her return to a space that was nurtured by her love.

“It will be well, Miss Cora,” he said, his gruffness only adding to the unusual softness he conveyed. “You’ll see. Your fella won’t fail you. I’ve never known Mr. Jacob to ever not do what is right by his family.”

“But I am not family. Not truly,” she whispered to keep herself from shattering.

He merely grinned before rubbing her shoulder gently. “Maybe, but you are something better - his future. Perhaps his future needs to not follow what he says he thinks he desires, what he thinks is right.”

Chapter Fourteen: Pt. 2, Susannah POV

Cora had been gone a week and the family seemed shredded because of it. Jacob walked around in a daze or was yelling at Sam over the Moon or fuming over any little wrinkle in his day. He drank doubles and triples until he could barely function just to survive his nights. It was a heart sickness that she understood all too well. Joshua, focused on the bank and learning its operations, was short-fused while trying to keep his twin from imploding. Daniel and Molly rode the fringes, trying to be as quiet as possible. Sam seemed to fight everything and everyone just from feeding off of whatever the hell was going on between the twins. His short temper lashed out at her only to immediately regret his hard words, his harsh actions. To watch him struggle in the wake of events sent ripples of despair through Susannah.

Business needed to resume. Jacob and Danny were off on a run, a second sweep in the Moon. Time on the run nearly doubled in their efforts to skirt Marquette county as much as possible. Sam was a nervous wreck. He second guessed each modification he had made on the vehicle the entire time Jake and Danny were absent. It was all Susannah could do to provide him with some form of comfort and support.

She walked into Molly’s; the smell of coffee heavy in the air. Her friend sat at her table, head down and arms thrown over like she was hiding.

“What’s this all about, sweetheart?” she asked, touching Molly’s back to get her attention.

Molly sat up, her eyes destroyed and her skin pale. “Being stupid is all. Don’t worry about it. Coffee?”

Susannah waved at her and got her own cup before sitting down. “Mols, come on. This is not nothing.”

“Just having a moment, love. With all this shit, I’m just a little extra worried that Jake won’t be able to protect Danny,” she whispered.

“No word from Cora?” she asked, picking at the edge of the table.

Molly shook her head. “Marcus got in last night, though.”

“I saw that.” She debated if she wanted to breathe her next thought into existence. Sipping at the bitter liquid, she swallowed hard. “Do you think she’s really going to stay with Junie?”

“I wouldn’t blame her. What that fuck did to her sister was…” Molly inhaled sharply, her mouth a hard line. “If I ever see him, I’m going to cut his dick off and shove it down his throat.”

“There’s my Molly,” Susannah whispered.

With Jake and Danny gone, and Josh spread thin with the shops and bank, it was coming down to Sam to oversee the Lantern and the dancehall. Every night, she sat with him. Joshua would appear briefly, all smiles and professional talk with other heads of business, but would disappear the moment he could sleep and prepare for the next day.

Week two slid into week three. Jake returned enraged and drunk within the first hour. Danny had no words to explain. Jake said nothing the entire run and was already demanding that they only take a few days rest before heading out again to make up for lost time. The autumn storms were starting to turn colder. Sam worried over muddy roads and ice that they had no idea how the Moon would handle. Jake seemed to not truly care. He was nearly frantic to get those last few runs in despite the toll it was taking on himself, Danny, or anyone else involved in the operation.

Week three was grinding to a close. Molly joined Susannah sipping on gin rickeys and watching the crowd. Joshua was shaking hands and talking with a group of men on the other side of the room while Sam stood at the bar.

“Any word from our friend down south?” Susannah asked just to make conversation.

Molly shrugged. “It’s weird. Jake has made no mention of getting Rosemary and boys ready to head out. I don’t think Cora has reached out to anyone since leaving.”

“He’s going over there though, right? He’s looking after the family like he promised?” Susannah asked, concerned that perhaps Jake was not living up to his part of the deal with Cora.

“Danny said he’s over there every moment he’s not here drinking,” she answered. “Marcus is checking in with Rosemary when Jake’s gone, or like this…”

Susannah could not hide the relief she felt. Despite his heartache, she could not see him failing in the responsibility that he had accepted. They fell to silence as Sam moved to the piano. There were polite claps before he dug into some jazz that set the crowd on the dancefloor into a tizzy. Susannah smiled. To have a glimpse of a bit of normal felt good, but she knew it was not going to be long lived.

The first Saturday of October brought the first hint of early snow. Though only a dusting, the mood was unusually subdued with the notion that winter was going to be long for the year's end of 1926. Jake sat at the table, his face and body looking like he had been in a fight that he had not won. The glass between his fingers was largely ignored as he glared out across the room, despite its two fingers of rich amber whiskey. The unhappy radiated off of him like a fire storm. She wondered if his anger kept him from dulling his pain. She was unsure what was scarier - the sober bomb laying in wait or the drunken ire that threatened. Susannah’s heart ached for him, but she tried to stay in character for him and Josh as they nearly mirrored each other. Josh sat at Jake’s side, body heavy against the table, his own drink empty waiting for a refresh.

The entire table startled when Jake stood up suddenly, launching himself forward, his steps quick as he moved around carefree patrons. Susannah’s gaze trailed ahead, landing on Cora standing just inside the side door. The woman’s face was rosy with a joy that sparkled in her eyes and radiated across the space as if reaching out to envelop her love.

“I’ll be,” Molly sighed.

Even Josh laughed as Jacob fell into her, the door closing to hide their moment of reuniting. In the blink of an eye, the mood had shifted. Susannah saw the relief in Josh’s face as he lifted his twin’s glass to his own mouth to drink it down.

“Goddamn, I don’t ever want to do this again,” Josh said as the bottom of the glass smacked the table.

They toasted the sentiment as their smiles turned genuine and the happy slowly returned to their spirits.

Chapter Fourteen, Pt. 3, Cora POV

“You need to go home, Cora,” Junie had said as she poured out tea for the three of them. “I will be well. Dotty said I could stay forever if I wanted. Your heart’s not here.”

The tiny swell of her sister’s belly called out to her. Junie��s health had improved rapidly once they settled into Dorothy’s home. She was amazing, full of warmth and spirit and life. The woman treated them like family immediately. At Junie’s sentiment, she had smiled at Cora.

“Jacob has always been the kind of soul who puts those he loves before himself,” she stated thoughtfully. “He’s very much like my sister in that regard. Perhaps, for once, his needs can be put first, while you fulfill your own.”

Cora had tried not to run from the train station, but her feet would not listen. The night was thick with humidity and the air was heavy with mist, despite the chill. She stepped into the dancehall, sure that her face was flustered and reddened with exertion. She smiled at the few faces she knew as she pushed her way back to the employee door. In the hall, she stopped as Marcus turned towards her. After a beat, his face melted into a relieved smile. He took out his handkerchief for her to wipe at her face.

“Dear lord, it’s good to see you, Cora,” he said as they started walking down the stairs. “Do they know you’re here?”

“No,” she answered, trying in vain to catch her breath. “I just got off the train and I couldn’t wait another moment. Is he here?”

“Of course he’s here,” Marcus said with a nod as he opened the door for her.

The first glimpse broke her heart. The hardness; the anger that roiled from his form was palpable as Jacob stared off across the room. It was the man that she feared in the beginning: a Jacob that was angry without limit. Everything within her froze with a threat to shatter. In the span of a breath, his dark eyes strayed to her and he was to his feet and moving towards her. Pieces of anger fell away with each step like chunks of ice, replaced with warmth and surprise. As he reached for her, she laughed out, dropping her bag and folding herself against him as his mouth pressed against her in need. Her heart started to beat again. Her spirit moved and twisted around the man that quaked against her.

Jacob’s palm cupped her cheek as he wrapped himself around her. “God, you're beautiful,” he whispered before kissing her once more.

Cora hummed as he pulled away, only to bring her in her close, pulling her flush against him. She could feel him shaking beneath her touch. “Jacob,” she said against his ear, “take me home.”

He touched her face once more before reaching for her satchel and leading her up the stairs, with a nod to Marcus, he led them down the narrow hall and out into the alley. Jacob wrapped her arm with his own, but held tight to her hand as well. He walked forward, but she stopped when she realized that he was moving towards the house on Park. He looked back at her and she shook her head.

“Home,” she repeated, shyness coloring her cheeks.

She watched as he swallowed and hesitated for another moment. They walked quietly towards the Kiszka home. Her heart fluttered and threatened to jump into her throat as his presence excited her blood and brain and everything seemed to be warm under her skin. Inside, he helped her out of her coat.

“Do you want some coffee? I can-”

She shook her head. She watched as his eyes drifted closed. Cora followed him up the stairs, her fingers entwined with his and he gently tugged her along. He switched the light on the dresser as they stepped inside the familiar space. He set her bag down on the dressing table before turning back to her. She looked into his handsome face, her body finally calming enough as he reached for her once more.

There was a wholeness she felt as he kissed her, touched her, allowing her to breathe him in and absorb his strength. “I want you to teach me to make love to you, Jacob.”

His brow twitched as his eyes drifted to her lips. “It’s going to hurt at first.”

“I don’t care,” she whispered as he traced the line of her jaw. “It doesn’t scare me. I want you to make me yours. And I want to make you mine.”

He ran a hand through his hair and seemed to take a moment to collect himself. He moved close, planting a soft kiss against her mouth. His hands looped around her shoulders as he walked them back towards his bed. She deepened the kiss as he freed her hair to spill down her back and over her shoulders. He smiled against her lips as her fingers pressed against his bottom. They undressed each other slowly, each item set to the side with care. He took his time, relishing each piece of revealed skin with the brush of his mouth, the press of his fingertips, the graze of his eyes. She felt her chest begin to tighten as her hands danced across the planes of him, drawing her mark into muscle, scar, ridge of bone and skin. He reached over and pulled the covers back, before he turned and backed his way onto the mattress, pulling her along, never breaking their kiss.

She lay down on his pillow and he moved onto his side, rising up over her. There was no embarrassment over their nakedness. There was no shyness. Cora smiled as she reached to touch his face. His dark eyes shimmered in the low light of the room.

“Why did you come back?” he asked, brushing her hair back from her face.

She stayed quiet for a few moments. Though the truth was simple, she did not need the words to sound foolish. “My heart needed you.”

He dragged his knuckles down her cheek, seemingly overcome. He ghosted his fingers down her neck to dance across her collar bones. “I’m going to touch you, Cora. Tell me to stop and I will.”

She let out a sigh as his palm pressed against the top of her chest before drifting across to her side and down until he cupped the swell of her breast. He kept his eyes on her, watching her face. He drew her nipple between his fingers gently before leaning down to place an open mouthed kiss against the top of her breast. He kissed her, sucking in her bottom lip between his teeth. Jacob’s touch swirled down, following the curve of her hip and then back towards him, ghosting across the pubic bone to follow the path of her thigh to her knee. He pushed her right leg open and pulled her left to bend against his frame; the pads of his fingers pressing into the inner thigh as he shifted to rise up on his side more.

Cora’s breath started to quicken with anticipation. He bent again, this time, a deep kiss set her skin on fire as his fingers tucked into her folds in a single pass. His hand returned to the inside of her thigh, pushing further to expose her all the more. He circled her nub with a featherlight press of his middle finger. Her breath escaped in a soft gasp before he covered her mouth with a harder kiss. His touch grew heavier, more demanding as he withdrew, his attention caught once more on her breasts. He nuzzled his way closer to her frame as she opened further to him. His mouth was wet against her skin, hot and seeking until he landed his cheek against her chest.

Her fingers traced up the expanse of his back, the bumpy spine, the sinew of the muscle and sharpness of his shoulder blades until seeking out the soft vulnerability of his neck. He shifted ever so slowly to begin planting kisses across her chest and tops of her breasts. Cora’s sighs and coos became harder, deeper the more he touched and circled and pressed. As he moved to look into her face, she stared into his eyes, taking in the way his body responded to her, how it seemed to glisten and shine just for her. The redness of his lips made her swoon as he leaned into her, pressing his mouth against her throat.

“I’m going to…” he whispered before pressing a finger to her entrance.

Her body reacted by bowing into his hand, accepting him as he slid his finger in and out rhythmically, but at a pace that was languid as if needing her to settle. His kiss deepened more, his tongue mirroring his hand as he added a second. She sucked in a hard breath at the feel and he stopped but did not withdraw.

“Hurt?”

She did not know how to answer. It was more a sting that flashed across her insides but was already gone. Cora relaxed the tension from her frame and shook her head no. He started to move his fingers again, this time, the pad of his thumb rubbed against her clit when he pressed all the way in. Shockwaves pelted her brain as he patiently worked her body. The emotions that flooded her were unexpected. Joy. Euphoria. A bit of fear of what was to come. Loved. Each kiss. Each touch. Each move of his hand conveyed nothing but a pureness of love. Her heart hammered in her chest as she slid her arm from behind him, reaching down she hesitated only a moment as her fingers were met with his cock, hard against her hip.

“God damn,” he breathed as she wrapped her hand around him, giving him a little squeeze.

Surprised by his reaction, she stopped, eyes unsure. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, baby,” he whispered. “Do it more. Touch me more.”

Cora bit into her lip before taking him once more. He rutted into her palm, matching the slowness of his own hand against her. Her mouth dropped over the feel. Her brain was connecting the movements and her core ached for more. Involuntarily, she started to lean into his touch, moving her hips so that he pressed harder. He began sucking in her ear lobe, giving it a little bite. The sensations became overwhelming as he lapped at her skin, dragging his teeth across her. Little pauses in her thoughts felt like someone was turning on and off the lights as her body jolted with pleasure. Her legs were trembling as he sped his rhythm a fraction. A soft hum vibrated through his chest as he looked at her, eyes clouded with his own emotions. In a deliberate move, he withdrew his fingers and she gasped at the sudden emptiness she felt.

She was not going to let him go until he smiled. “May I make love to you?”

“I thought that was what we were doing?”

“Almost. But now together.”

Her brain stopped completely as he moved his body between her legs, gently making room for himself. Jacob propped himself up on one arm so as not to press her down with too much weight, but what she felt sent shivers through her that made her want to memorize the happiness that flooded her. He kissed her, slow at first until once more, he moved, this time guiding his cock into her body at a snail's crawl. Her jaw slackened before dropping. Her hands clutched at his shoulders over the sensation. It was not pain like she was expecting. It was a burst of rupture that subsided quickly, but stung as he continued before stopping at his hilt.

Every muscle quivered. Every thought was gone save for those of him. The touch and heat of him. The smell of him. The … the… the feel of him inside of her was not what she thought it would be. It was like a completion of her, somehow. A fullness that was meant to be. She had not realized that she was squeezing her eyes shut so hard that her face was bunched up. Her arms and legs clung to him so tightly that neither could move. Slowly, she relaxed, opening her eyes to find him searching her expression.

He kissed her as he threaded his hand into hers before bringing it up above her head so as to lower himself fully against her. Like with his hand, he slowly drew out only to return. Both gasped over the movement.

Her breath fought in and out of her mouth as he began to move in earnest. “What do I feel like?”

A soft moan fell from him as he looked at her. “The softest… The softest of silk wrapped all around me, Finch.”

At the sound of his pet name, her body spasmed against him. He smirked as a soft moan escaped.

“And when your body does that,” he whispered against her ear, “it’s euphoria across my whole body.”

He pressed a passion filled kiss to her mouth before pushing himself up. He slid both hands under the small of her back to lift her slightly, while keeping connected.

“Does it hurt?” he asked softly, before he started to move once more.

She shook her head, but the faint sting of each strike was still present, all the more so with his change of hold on her. Aside from that, Cora could feel her brain letting go of the fear, allowing herself to focus only on the sensation that he was sharing with her. Total adoration. It was the only thought that stuck as she looked upon him. It filled every pore and every sound that was shared. An urgency started to pull under her skin, hot and bright. Jacob slid one hand between their bodies and was rubbing that nub. Seeing him turned her skin to flame and her breath to catch on nothing other than frenzied passion.

“You’re doing so good,” he whispered as she felt like her entire being had been shoved under water and tossed into the air at the same time. No restraints. Nothing but love.

A look passed his face as he grimaced and tucked his chin. He shook his head like he was struggling.

“Finch - I gotta,” he started but suddenly pulled his body away from her, pumping himself rapidly. His cum scalded the skin of her belly. Her eyes widened as he finally slowed to a stop.

“No babies,” he said, his eyes closed. “Not yet.”

She looked at the opalescent fluid on her skin and it took a moment to realize what he was talking about. Her cheeks blushed over the thought. He let out a soft laugh as his breathing slowed. He held up a hand for her to stay and went into the washroom. She heard the taps turn on and he was fast to reappear with a couple of wet cloths. The first he wiped at her belly with. The second he held to her entrance. The action surprised her and she flinched.

“I didn’t mean to hurt-”

“No, no,” she blurted in embarrassment, seeing his dismay. “It doesn’t hurt. I wasn’t expecting you to, uh, care about … that.”

His brows pinched, but continued to just hold the cloth against her for a few more moments. “I cherish all of you. I’m running a bath. It’ll help.”

He stood straight, holding his hand out for her to take. Cora realized he was trying to care for her but in her ignorance was fumbling the situation. Modestly, she followed him into the bathroom and he felt the water to make sure it was not too hot. Turning the taps off, he stepped in first, holding his hand to her to help. She shyly stepped in as he sat, guiding her to sit with her back to him. She fit snuggly, finding a comfort she did not expect. His arms wrapped around her, seeking out her hands to hold as the steam of the water soaked into their bodies.

“Is it always like this?” she asked, allowing her head to fall back onto his shoulder.

Jacob trailed kisses against her cheek. She could feel him smile. “Sometimes. Did I hurt you badly?”

She shook her head. “It wasn’t what I expected. I mean… It’s not like I didn’t know what would happen, but… I…”

“Finch, did you like it?” he asked.

“I did,” she whispered, her cheeks a furious red that he tried to kiss away, but it only made things worse.

“I did, too,” he said as he wrapped their arms around her. “It gets better. It gets so much better.”

“Better?”

He hummed deep in his chest. “I will learn what you like. How you like for me to touch you, taste you, move you. And you will learn my body, Finch. You will learn how I like to be touched, tasted.”

“Like our own dance,” she sighed as he pulled her even closer against his body.

“Like our own dance.”

Cora felt the tiredness creep up from the soles of her feet to invade her brain. She watched as Jacob brushed his fingertips across her arm, back and forth, as if memorizing the little ridge of scar that was there. Loved. Her entire self felt the security of him as they washed each other, sharing soft adorations and touches. They wrapped around each other in quiet fashion as they lay in bed. Cora breathed him in as her cheek landed on his chest. Her eyes were closed when he whispered his love for her, sending her off to sleep.

Yeah. Am I ashamed that I’m posting this on my b-day? Not really. So raise a glass of your favorite preferred beverage with me - cheers to you all, lovelies!

I do have a tag list - you can find it here

@lvnterninthenight @doodle417 @luverleaver @jakesgrapejuice @fictional-duchess @whitesuitjake @milkgemini @positivegvfthings @songbirds-sweet @streamingcolors-gvf @gretavanbitches @samsurfgreenbass @gardensgatedaisy @babyhoneygvfarchive @myownparadise96 @josh-iamyour-mama @starcatchercarol @loveisonaroll @jakesstarlight @reesetrippingthelight @builtby-gvf @ignite-my-fire @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @wetkleenex-gvf @gold-mines-melting @starsasone @puzzle-gvf @mysticalstarcatcher @montenegroisr @takenbythemadness @way-to-go-lad @cal-a-bungaa @lightmylove-gvf @thewritingbeforesunrise @leftjudgeempathsuitcase @brokenbells11 @imborrowedshesblue @vanfleeter @sammysvanfeet @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @jaketlove @redsierra1960 @gvfmarge @becinabubblegvf @wildbluesorbit @sinarainbows

#greta van fleet #gvf #jake gvf #jake kiszka #josh kiszka #josh gvf #sammy gvf #sam gvf #daniel gvf #danny gvf #greta van fleet fanfic #greta van fleet fan fiction #greta van fleet fanfic au #greta van fleet au fic #greta van fleet x ocs #bootleggers and wildflowers

38 notes · View notes

azozzoni · 3 years

Text

VDS Week: Friends to Lovers Accompanies This gifset

Jens doesn’t know why Lucas has a Grindr. It’s not as if he ever goes out with any of the people who DM him, and Jens knows for sure because Lucas told him as much last time it came up. Still, Lucas still scrolls through the pictures of guys he’s never going to meet.

Lucas says it’s because the idea of hooking up with a stranger he meets on the internet is just too weird, too unsafe in this day and age, but Jens knows that’s not really the reason.

The real reason is Lucas’ unrequited crush on his best friend.

Not that Lucas has told Jens about this, even though they are friends as well, have been for almost two years. It didn’t take Jens long to figure it out after moving to Utrecht, the clear bond Lucas and Kes share, the way Lucas gazes at him sometimes when he thinks no one is watching.

If it was anyone else, Jens wouldn’t care. He doesn’t care that Jayden has a thing for Janna even though she doesn’t give him the time of day, or that Kes is still secretly pining after Isa. He doesn’t care about any of those relationship dramas. It’s Lucas’ desperation for Kes that gets on his nerves in a way he can’t brush away.

Kes, for his part, has no idea about Lucas’ feelings, even though Jens thinks it’s pretty fucking obvious.

Jens isn’t going to tell him, though. He just hopes Lucas might get over it some day, actually go on a date with a guy who’s not Kes, see that there are more fish in the sea.

Jens is not one of those fish, he thinks as he watches Lucas curled up on the arm chair with Ralph, scrolling through Grindr together. They’re at Jayden’s apartment, although Jens doesn’t know where Jayden disappeared to. He’d left once the phone came out, complaining that they never paid attention to him.

Curled up on the couch, Jens keeps his mouth shut as Ralph comments occasionally on the guys passing by on the screen and Lucas peers over his shoulder.

Jens has been in this exact situation before, with Lucas squished in next to him in his living room, showing Jens the guys on Grindr. It was fine at first, when Lucas had first learned that Jens was bi, had someone to share things with. It had been two friends commenting on the ridiculous photos, the bios that were clearly just bids for sex.

But lately, it’s gotten distracting, how Lucas curls up next to Jens, their shoulders pressed together, Lucas’ curls tickling his neck when he moves to look at the screen, the soft huffs of laughter at Jens’ comments. Jens barely remembers what he even says anymore, too focused on the weight of Lucas against him, his arm brushing against Jens’ when he reaches over to swipe through the profiles.

He’s kind of glad it’s not him today as Lucas leans in over Ralph’s shoulder to look at the phone.

“He’s cute, right?” Ralph asks, and Jens can’t see who they’re talking about, but he does see the way Lucas gestures, vaguely.

“If you’re into that.”

Looking away, Jens barely refrains from rolling his eyes. No one on that app is going to compare to Kes. No one is going to come close to whatever fantasy Lucas has concocted in his head about him and Kes. Maybe he thinks one day Kes will wake up and realize he’s not straight, that he’s into his best friend, and they’ll ride off into the sunset.

It annoys Jens, a prickle at the back of his neck as he slumps onto the couch. There’s crushes and then there’s whatever Lucas has with Kes.

Jens doesn’t totally blame Lucas—after all, he has eyes. He’s seen Kes, and who wouldn’t be attracted to his charming smile, his goofy nature? But is Kes really more special than anyone else? Jens doesn’t think so.

Ralph glances up from the phone, to Lucas. “Then what are you into?”

Lucas hesitates a second, looking surprised at the question as he laughs, slight.

“What? I don’t know,” he says, like it’s a weird question to ask. But it’s not, and Jens knows the exact answer.

It’s Lucas’ response, as though he doesn’t know exactly who he’s into, that makes Jens open his mouth and say what he does next.

“He’s into straight guys who don’t like him back.”

He feels both Lucas and Ralph’s gaze swivel to him as soon as he says it, can see the frown wrinkling Lucas’ forehead as Ralph glances between them.

“I’m gonna give you two a minute,” he says, as though the air in the room has not just gone from normal to awkward in the span of five seconds. He pushes himself out of the chair, handing Lucas back his phone, and Lucas watches him go for a second before glancing back at Jens.

“What the fuck was that?” he asks, and Jens wants to sigh, but fuck, he shouldn’t have said that.

“The truth,” he says instead, even if it makes Lucas’ frown deepen, as though he has no idea what Jens is talking about.

“What are you talking about?” Lucas asks, shaking his head, tucking his phone away, and Jens has to roll his eyes. Lucas isn’t that dense.

“You know exactly who I’m talking about.”

Lucas just stares. “What is wrong with you? Why are you being such a dick?”

He is being a dick, Jens realizes as he sits on the couch, leaned forward on his knees. He’s annoyed because Lucas likes someone who doesn’t like him back—who even cares? Does it even matter? It does, his gut tells him with a jerk on his navel. It does matter because it’s not Jens that Lucas likes.

When Jens had moved to Utrecht two years ago, he’d been sure he would hate it. Everyone had a weird accent and there were no canals and all his friends were hours away. But he’d met Lucas halfway through his second day, and Lucas had invited him to lunch with his friends. And from there, things hadn’t been as terrible as he’d predicted.

There have been parties, trips to cabins by a lake, plenty of hours getting high with Lucas in his bedroom, laughing at stupid shit, making life bearable.

It’s Lucas that has made it all bearable, and Jens doesn’t know when it went from Lucas being a guy he hangs out with to a guy he wants to…

Shaking the thought from his head, he brings his gaze back to Lucas in the chair, waiting for an answer to his question.

Fuck.

“I have to get home,” he says finally, abrupt, standing from the couch and heading for the door before Lucas can even open his mouth.

“Jens, wait,” Lucas calls after him, scrambling after him to the door. “What’s going on? Are you okay?” He gets himself between Jens and the door, practically bumping into his chest.

Of course Lucas is concerned, Jens thinks as he gazes into his amazingly blue eyes, the confusion from before replaced with worry.

Jens can’t process this right now, this realization that he likes Lucas, his friend, one of his only friends here. And Lucas likes Kes. Oh, yeah.

“I’m fine,” he lies, the words sour in his mouth, wishing Lucas wasn’t blocking the doorknob so he could just escape into the dreary street and be alone with the million thoughts swirling in his brain.

He’s so far from fine, he doesn’t even know what fine is. How did he not see it? The new uncomfortable feeling any time Lucas gets too close, the jealousy bubbling up inside him whenever he catches Lucas watching Kes.

“Jens,” Lucas says, reaching for Jens’ shoulder, but Jens ducks out of the way, getting his hand behind Lucas to pull the door open instead.

“I gotta go,” he says. He can’t have this conversation here, with Ralph in the next room, probably with his ear pressed up against the wall, with Jayden hovering around somewhere, ready to interrupt at the worst possible moment.

Darting around Lucas, he makes it into the hall, taking a breath as he hits the stairwell. He needs fresh air, clear air, somewhere he can process this and decide what he’s supposed to do now.

Jens has been in this situation before, with Jana, and it had ended terribly. Of course, they’d been a lot younger and made some stupid mistakes along the way, but he just remembers the bad parts.

Lucas is one of his few friends here, and he knows what happens when friends start dating.

Dating, he scoffs as he jogs down the stairs. He’s just realized he likes Lucas and he’s already thinking about all the ways they could fuck it up.

“Hey!” A voice on the stairs echoes down, and Jens turns at the clatter of footsteps behind him. “Stop.”

Cursing to himself, Jens wishes he didn’t have to, but he does stop on a landing as Lucas comes down, jumping the last few stairs.

“I really don’t want to talk right now, Luc,” he says, all but sighs as Lucas comes to a stop on the landing.

The truth of the matter is that even if he accepts that he likes Lucas, decides it’s not just his teenage hormones suddenly confused between affection of a friend and something more, there’s still the fact that Lucas has a huge, ridiculous crush on Kes that he won’t suddenly get over if Jens tells him about this new revelation.

“What did you mean that I only like straight guys who don’t like me back?” Lucas asks, and it’s not what Jens expects, and it’s not what he wants to talk about.

But Lucas isn’t going to let go of this, so he sighs, annoyed. “Kes,” he says, blunt. “That’s what I meant. Your stupid, obviously unrequited, feelings for Kes.”

For a second, Lucas just stares, as if he can’t even rebuke it. Jens knows he can’t.

“How-how did you…” Lucas says, shaking his head as though he doesn’t understand. Jens would feel bad for him if he wasn’t busy trying not to be angry about something he shouldn’t care about.

“It’s obvious to anyone paying attention,” Jens snaps, losing the battle to be nice.

Lucas pauses, a hand wrapped around his wrist, squeezing nervously, and it takes him a minute to raise his gaze to Jens.

“Does he know?”

It’s so pathetic that Jens sighs, some of the annoyance draining from him as they stand in the empty stairwell. “No, he doesn’t know.”

There’s still tension to Lucas’ shoulders as he takes a breath, chews on his bottom lip.

“Why are you so pissed at me?” he asks finally, and it catches Jens off-guard. “Is it about Kes?”

It is and it isn’t. It’s more that Jens has just realized he likes his friend and he doesn’t know what to do about that.

“I just think you could do better,” Jens hears himself say. “You know, maybe like a guy who’s actually into guys.”

Lucas frowns this time, a tiny scoff as he looks away. “You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t know how much easier it would be if I could find someone who was into me the same way?”

“You can,” Jens says, firmly. Because he is. Jens is into him apparently, has been for longer than he even knows at this point.

Lucas shakes his head. “All those guys on Grindr? I’m never gonna meet any of them. I don’t want to meet any of them. They’re all into hook-ups and shirtless selfies, and I’m just not that guy.”

“I know you’re not,” Jens says, feeling bad for snapping at Lucas earlier. It’s not Lucas’ fault that Jens can’t recognize his own feelings before they creep up on him.

For a second, they stand on the landing, and Jens wishes he knew what to say. As Lucas sighs, Jens bites down on his lip. Why has it taken him this long to realize? Why couldn’t he have figured it out two years ago? Before they’d become friends, spent late nights watching shitty porn, listening to Lucas talk about his mom, Lucas letting him complain about his sisters, his mom making them move over here.

That would make all of this so much easier. Because now, they’re friends, and Jens can’t just come out and say he’s changed his mind.

Lucas looks so defeated, though, tugging down the sleeves of his jacket and Jens doesn’t know what moves him to step forward and take Lucas’ face in his hands, pressing an unexpected kiss to his lips.

It lasts all of a second as Jens realizes what he’s doing, pulls back abruptly. He’d meant it to be a friendly thing, maybe, not an actual kiss that leaves his lips tingling, his heart racing as the weight of his action sinks in.

“What was that?” Lucas asks, and Jens shakes his head quickly.

“I don’t know—I—I’m sorry.”

That was stupid, he thinks. Possibly the stupidest thing he could have done right now.

He starts to turn, to head down the last set of stairs and escape outside where he can spend the whole walk home reprimanding himself for such a stupid action, but Lucas catches his arm.

Glancing back, Jens takes a breath as Lucas stares at him. If they could just pretend this never happened, that he never brought up Lucas’ thing with Kes or said anything about Lucas finding someone, that would be perfect.

But Lucas doesn’t suggest either of those things as he steps into Jens’ space, a question on his face that Jens doesn’t think he can answer, a nervous twitch to his fingers as he reaches for Jens’ cheek.

“What are you doing?” Jens asks when Lucas is too close and all he can hear is the rush of blood in his ears as his heart pounds in his chest.

“I don’t know,” Lucas murmurs after a second, and then it’s too late to stop him.

Lucas’ lips are soft, warm, gentle as he leans into Jens. Jens can practically feel the nerves pouring off both of them, even as he tilts his head to the side, lets Lucas in, kisses him back. It’s nothing special as far as kisses go, but Jens’ heart feels like it’s about to explode anyway when Lucas pulls back, much slower than Jens did before.

Jens lets out a breath, shaky, and swallows down the lump in his throat as he and Lucas stand there. What do they do now?

“Now what?” Lucas asks, as if he can read Jens’ mind, and Jens laughs despite himself.

“I don’t know,” he admits, and Lucas nods.

“Me neither.”

Maybe he doesn't know what comes next, but they’ve made it this far. And sometimes it works, doesn’t it? Friends become more and it works out? Maybe that could be them.

Standing on the landing, Jens doesn’t say anything and neither does Lucas, but he does smile slightly when he catches Jens’ eyes, and maybe, maybe they’ll be okay.

#van der stoffels #skam nl #wtfock #my fic

44 notes · View notes

moonylvi · 3 years

Note

Nct ot23 reaction to their s.o being really shy and blushing all the time 💗💞

A/N: Thank you so much for requesting this. It's actually my first ever reaction and I really hope you like it.💕 Also please tell me if I made a mistake, English isn't my native language. Disclaimer: This is purely fictional, means it's an AU and in no way meant to harm anyone. Pairings: ¹/23 memberX gn! reader Warnings: Cringe-worthy content and me trying to be funny and writing some reactions longer than intended. Genre: Fluff, partly crackish?

Taeil: Okay, I honestly think he would tease u. Gemini things, I don't make the rules. It was a super awkward moment because he told you one of his jokes, making you burst into laughter. And with that, you accidentally spit on his arm. Of course you immediately cleaned it, not being able to look at him for good 3 hours. When you finally reappeared from behind your scarf, he couldn't help, but to make another dumb joke, connected to you spitting on him.

Johnny: Would definitely bug you about, why you suddenly acted all shy and blushed everytime he told you to look at him. Started teasing you without knowing the reason, until you finally told him that you had walked in on him showering earlier. Broke out into a huge burst of laughter. "Oh, Y/N you already saw me naked before. What's the problem?" Taeyong: He would definitely try to comfort you. First he wants to know why you've been blushing so hard and acting more shy than normally. Then he would tell you it's not a big deal, generally making you feel more secure. Hugs you and maybe also pinches your cheeks. Yuta: I can see him not caring that much about you being shy. But when you are blushing, he'll chuckle, poke your cheeks, cuddles you and also tells you, how you look exactly like that cute girl in one of his Animes. Kun: Very mature about it. Similar to TY, he would make you feel safe. "Y/N there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Really, if you didn't dropped it, either Hendery or Leon would have and in contrary to them you at least cleaned up the shards." Doyoung: 100% him touching, poking and pinching your cheeks. He would most likely laugh at you without any problems, but if someone else laughs at you, he probably switches into protector-mode, hugging and comforting you. Ten: Annoyingly asks you why you were so shy and blushing all the time. Goes up to that moment where he tried to convince you that he will die, if you won't tell him. Naturally you can't let that happen, unlocking your phone and showing him a picture Kun sent to you. The two of were laughing at the dorm, looking like two maniacs. "Why are you embarrassed about it? It's cute. We should use it for our next Christmas cards." Jaehyun: Finally, our valentines boy! Thinks you're super cute while blushing. Actually likes your shy side a lot and cuddles you, while calling you new nicknames. "My cute little flamingo!" WinWin: Also kind on the unbothered side for most of the times. Just ignores your blush, knowing you want it to go away and pointing it out, wouldn't help at all. Sometimes he would blush too, especially if it is a situation where he is the reason for your blush. Jungwoo: In the past few months he's been confusing everyone. He used to be a shy and reserved puppy, but now he said his hobby is Netflix and Chill with a smirk... Either way I think I'll go with him being shy too, for no reason. You were playing with your hair, while watching him reading through new lyrics. When he looked up and met your eyes, you both flushed red and quickly looked everywhere but at each other. Lucas: I really don't know how he would act. He's embarrassing himself all the time, but mostly doesn't care and continues being weird. So for you, he'll probably laugh or at least chuckle a bit, crushing you in his arms. MAYBE, JUST MAYBE he's being shy too. Deep below I can see a very sensitive person in him, so that's where his enormous hugs come from. Mark: Mark is the king of shyness. You remember how he tried explaining some lyrics, yeah? Well, he would have no idea why you were blushing and hiding in your sweater palms. A bit confused at first, but after he knew what caused your cheeks to burn up, he'll chuckle awkwardly and ignore it, waiting for you to calm down. In very few cases, CUDDLES. Have you seen him with Winwin? Xiaojun: He would ensure that nothing serious caused your sudden shy behavior. Like you spilled a bit of water on the table. After a short chuckle by himself, he tries to get you to laugh over the situation and forget it shortly after. However if it was something serious, he would pull you into his arms and reassures you, everything is fine. Hendery: I can see him being the actual reason why you were blushing the whole evening. Every other minute he tells you cheesy, but cute pick-up-lines, not noticing what it does to you. Eventually he did and stopped, laughing at your behavior, but when you bid him goodbye, he couldn't resist telling you a last one."It's not 'see you tomorrow'. It is 'see you soon'

because I'll meet you in my dreams" At this point I want to add a cringe pick up line for Mark that I found. It's a bit mean but if you take it with humor, read it, if not, skip the note. Did you just fart? 'Cause you blew me away.... Renjun: I can't decide whether he would chuckle at you or try to make you feel less shy. He knows how it is to be teased about something embarrassing (geurae naegen neoppuniyAa), but he also teases the members a lot, so maybe it'll be depending on the situation. If it's about something big like cracking your voice on national TV he would comfort and reassure you, probably some cuddles. Also tries to make you forget it. If it's because of an unimportant situation he would laugh at you. The way you just walked into a closed door? Hilarious. He would bring it up weeks later, turning you into a shy mess once again. Jeno: I can totally see him being a safekeeper, inviting you into his arms and cuddling you, until you are ready to face other people again. Except for the cases where you stay where you are and mumble into his shirt what happened, making him laugh and squeeze you a bit more. Haechan: Definitely in team teasing! He is probably the most annoying one in Nct and with you? Good luck, he is even more annoying. When you spontaneously went to the store, to buy a new bottle of your favorite bodywash and your boyfriend decided to tag along, you hadn't thought it would end like this. You just picked the bottle, when he screamed "How on earth smells 'Fresh Mountain breeze. Or here, look 'Chocolate cookie cream tart'." The few people who were standing in the same row giving you weird looks, causing you to blush and embarrassingly trying to pull him away from the different bodywash's. "No, look here is one called 'hot winternight wood'. Why are there such stupid names?" His outburst making you blush more. "Haechan, come on. Let's go home." Finally he looked at you noticing the red hue covering not only your cheeks but your whole face and of course he started laughing more. "You are so embarrassed, aren't you? Actually it should be the person who chose these silly names. I mean how can you call a simple bodywash 'Sparkling Starlight Rain'?" You couldn't help the laughter that now flowed uncontrollably out of you, forgetting your prior flustered state and enjoying your happy boyfriend. Please ignore this being long af Jaemin: Would definitely tease you in a cute way. Means, he's chuckling and poking your red cheeks with his fingers, cooing something along the lines of "My Y/Nie. My little Angel is so cute when blushing." *cue you blushing more* YangYang: Most likely also part of the teasing line, but also comforts you. He and hyuck are literally best friends. You really wish you could turn back time at the moment. YangYang invited you to the WayV dorm for the first time, but you already knew the rest of the boys, so you were pretty chill, walking down the street, breathing the cold air in. Maybe a bit too chilled, considering the fact you had pressed the wrong doorbell and with that, got to know their old neighbor, who ignored your apologizing and accused you of pulling a prank on her, especially after she heard, you were the s.o of the 'loud screaming kindergarten-boy'. When you arrived at the right door, you were greeted by Hendery, Lucas and YangYang laughing loudly. "Did you really just rang the wrong doorbell?!" Making you feel the blood rise to your cheeks. "Come in, you need to tell us everything she said. We only heard the end where she called me a kindergarten boy." Shyly you sat on the couch, fiddling with your fingers, after you finished talking, waiting for the boys to stop laughing at you. Suddenly your boyfriend latched himself onto you, comforting you in a big hug. "If you want to, we can really pull a prank on her the next time, you visit." Shotaro: Similar to Jungwoo. I still need to figure this boy out. He made those tiktok's, but now he is the cutest little smiling otter. Anyway, I think it's depending on the situation. If it is because of something one of you

said or did, he'll get shy too, copying your mannerism and surely goes into 🦦mode. If someone else caused it, he probably tries to stay calm and gets you to calm down too. Sungchan: I get a comfortable and reassuring vibe from him, so he'll kinda be like TY. When he first wanted to introduce you to the rest of the members you suddenly became really shy and tried to hide behind his back. He was confused at first, but soon found out that you were 'just' nervous. "Trust me Y/N, they are going to like you. Please don't worry! I'm not going to leave your side, okay?" Chenle: This boy, honestly he would be laughing in his best dolphin at you. "Y/N you look like a tomato. What happened?" Which leads to you, trying to hide behind your hands. "Nothing." Of course he wouldn't believe you, switching his technique to tickling you. "Tell me what happened!" But you surprisingly stayed strong and instead settled for cuddling with your boyfriend to distract him and hopefully recover yourself from your heavy blushing. Jisung: I have a feeling it would be mutual. Like you two just accidentally bumped your heads together and immediately started apologizing. You are both super embarrassed and shy about the situation, but eventually you will forget what happened or just ignore it. UNTIL someone brings it up again and both of you are blushing like crazy AGAIN.

90 notes · View notes

infiniteiram · 2 years

Text

Shy Smiles and Soft Snuggles.

a vds one shot. you can find more on my ao3.

( @ apolloswords )

feel free to comment/message me any suggestions for one shot ideas!

Lucas takes Jens and Jana on a weekend trip to Utrecht. When Jana teases them about the status of their relationship, it has Lucas thinking about making it official.

Continuation of “ Buried Boxes and Bashful Booths.”

“The train!” Lucas yelled as he tried to keep up with Jens and Jana.

The three of them raced down the platform, lunging their overnight bags on their side or their backs as they tried to make it to the train to Utrecht. The train they had taken to Antwerp’s main station was delayed by five minutes, which meant they had to get to the train to Utrecht in the next ten seconds if they didn’t want to miss it.

Luckily, Jens practically flung himself through the doors, holding it open just in time for Jana and Lucas to hope on. They took a second to catch their breath, panting heavily as they tried to find their seats.

When they did, they threw their bangs down and sat. Lucas and Jens placed their bags beside Jana, so they could have a bit more room on their shared seats.

“I thought we were going to miss it.” Jana said, still catching her breath. “So much for thinking we had that five minutes to spare.”

“I hate running.” Lucas pouted, before letting his body weight fall on top of Jens.

Jens groaned, but shifted a little to make sure he and Lucas were more comfortable. Jana laughed at the frown Lucas had on his face for having to be shifted into a new position, and she shook her head.

“Are you excited for us to meet your friends?” She asked. “You get to introduce them to a sister and a boyfriend.” She teased.

“We aren’t boyfriends!” He and Jens said in unison, which only fuelled her amusement.

“Yeah right.” She crossed her arms and looked at them with a smug smile. “You guys are definitely more than friends.”

“Well what if we’re just doing it to fool you?” Jens teased back. “You’re the one who keeps teasing us, maybe we’re just putting on an act for you.”

Jana snorted. “Please, I would hope the both of you hanging around each other almost 24/7 isn’t because of me.”

“Should I ask you for permission first?” Jens teased again, matching her smug smile. “Have your blessing so I can date your brother?”

“I would hope my brother had better choices in boys.” She shot back, and Lucas let out a laugh.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure Jens knows you’ll kick his ass if anything happens to me.” He assured.

“So your friends,” Jens asked, turning away from Jana and raising a brow. “Have you told them anything?”

“They know as much as Jana knows.” He said with a smirk.

“I hardly know anything!” She cried, throwing her hands up in the air. “What did you tell them? That Jens was just some random kid we picked up and decided to bring along for the weekend?”

“Basically.” Lucas shrugged, now turning to wink at Jens. “I said you were a charity case.”

“Oh fuck off.” He snorted, lightly pushing him off. Lucas only laughed and fell on top of him again, only reviewing a chuckle and a roll of eyes as retaliation.

“Alright, I want peace and quiet for the next hour.” Jana instructed. “Faoucci’s math test fried by brain during my last class. I need time to heal.” She eyes the both of them seriously, narrowing her eyes and pointing at the two of them. “If you both leave me here and abandon me at the stop, you’ll both be sorry.”

“Oh fuck no.” Lucas said, as he saw two familiar faces standing next to a small black car in the train station’s parking lot.

Both of the boys standing there waved at him, giving him mischievous smiles before they raced over. As much as Lucas wanted to pretend he wasn’t happy to see them, he felt a sudden burst of adrenaline shot through him and ran up a bit. When the three of them had gotten close enough, they enveloped into a hug.

“Luc!” Kes laughed, hugging the right side of him tightly. “We thought we’d never see you again!”

“It’s not the same without you!” Jayden dramatically cried into Lucas’ left shoulder, only to get snorts of laughter from the other two boys.

When they pulled apart, Lucas turned around and saw that Jens and Jana had caught up to him. Jana had a wide smile on her face, the breeze blowing her hair in the wind as Jens tried to look composed with his straight posture and confident grin.

“Hey guys, these are the people I brought.” He said, standing off to the side a bit so he could properly introduce them. “This is my sister Jana and my friend Jens. Jens, Jana, these are my friends Kes and Jayden.”

“The charity case huh?” Kes said with a smirk. “If I didn’t know any better, I would have figured he was your-“

Lucas shot him a glare which made Kes quickly shut up. Kes gave him a smug look, much to his dismay.

“Damn, does everyone in Belgium look like you guys? I might have to consider moving.” Jayden said, smiling at the both of them.

Lucas felt his face burn up as Jens and Jana chuckled, obviously flattered by Jayden’s compliment.

“Well it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Jana said with a smile, as Jens managed to give both Kes and Jayden some handshakes.

“Luc, we got a car so we don’t have to train back to Jayden’s place.” Kes explained. “It’s going to be a tight fit but I’m sure they’ll find a way to fit all of you in the flat.”

“Come on!” Jayden called out, pulling some car keys out of his jacket pocket. “I’m driving.”

“Oh we are so fucked.” Lucas muttered under his breath, causing everyone around them to laugh.

They all started to heard towards the car, with Lucas following slowly behind. Jayden, who seemed very interested in Jana, was walking beside her, as Kes basically lead the entire group. Lucas felt his face flush when he noticed Jens walking beside him. Feeling the familiar nudge to his shoulder, he looked up and was greeted by a satisfied smirk from the tall raven haired boy.

“So, do you think I’m cute enough to move countries for?” He asked, a smirk on his lips.

Lucas scoffed. “You’re cute for a Belgian.”

He continued walking, trying to hide a smile from his face as Jens took a pause, standing there and thinking about what Lucas had just said.

“Hey!” He called out, Lucas whipping his head around to teasingly grin the boy behind him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“We are going to get wasted!” Isa cried out, throwing her arms around Jana who was becoming a giggling mess.

“Aren’t you already?” Liv shouted over the music, groaning as she shook her head, following them across the room.

Lucas shook his head, laughing and knowing the two girls were probably going to find some more alcohol. He could already envision the horrible hangover that awaited them the next morning.

“Hey,” Jens nudged his arm gently. “I’m going to go smoke some weed. Come out with me?”

“Was that pun intended?” Lucas laughed.

“What pun?”

“Never mind.” He shook his head, while still chuckling. “Sure, let’s go.”

They headed outside of the house and towards the front lawn, leaning on the gates. Everybody else seemed to be inside. Lucas had already lost sight of Kes and Jayden about five minutes after entering the house. And if they weren’t outside smoking weed, it was a definite loss cause to even try to find them amidst the crowd of people.

Jens took out a lighter from his back pocket and a pre-rolled joint from the back of his ear. He lit the end of it, and Lucas couldn’t help but almost gawk at how attractive he found it. As Jens took a hit and let the smoke curl out of his lips, Lucas could feel his heart race and body go to complete jelly.

He passed the joint to him and he took it gratefully. The weed seemed to calm his nerves down a bit, and he was pleasantly surprised with its familiarity.

“Where’d you get Nederlands weed?” He asked Jens, who took the joint from him again.

“Your friend Kes gave it to me before we got here. He gave me a few actually.” He pulled out two more pre-rolled joints from his front pocket. “I hope he doesn’t think I’m going to smoke them all in one night. I don’t have that tolerance to this type of weed.”

“I hope he’s not doing that either.” Lucas scoffed.

He watched as Jens tilted his head back in a light laugh, more smoke coming out of his lips and making Lucas suck in a breath.

“Your friends are really nice.” He noted. “I can see why it was hard to leave them.”

“They’re chaotic as hell.” He snorted, but gave a small smile. “But I can’t believe how much I actually missed their chaos.”

“It must be nice to be back home at least. How does it feel?”

“Weird. I know in a way it’s still home but it’s weird to be a visitor.” He managed to look up and give Jens a small smile. “But I’m glad you came along?”

“Yeah?” He smirked. “I’m glad you brought me along too.”

Lucas knew his face probably had a light blush to it, and he looked down at his shoes to hide it. He felt Jens lean a little more to the gate, reaching out and letting the sides of their hands touch. Lucas felt something fuzzy inhabit his body, and it only made the blush on his face feel warmer.

“Have you ever thought about what Jana said earlier?” Jens asked, a little hesitation in his voice.

Looking at him, Lucas gave him a confused loo. “What did she say?”

“Well she mentioned us being boyfriends.”

“Oh.” He didn’t really know what to say. “I mean, I have.”

“Really?” He seemed rather surprised.

“Yeah, have you?”

“Yeah, I have.”

He widened his grin. “Really? Since when?”

“Probably since I met you. I looked at you and thought, wow, this guy has to be the one who puts up with me.”

“You’re kidding?” Lucas asked in disbelief.

“I’m not.” Jens leaned in forward and whispered to him. “I really thought that.”

Lucas smiled, blushing again and felt himself staring into Jens’ eyes. His eyes then lowered onto his lips, their soft pink colour looking down bright against the dim sky. He wanted to lean forward, to stand on the tips of his toes and wrap his arms around the other boy, finally doing what he had thought the second he had looked at him.

Just before he was going to do it, they were quickly interrupted by Liv shouting at them from the front steps of the house.

“Luc, Jens!” She called out. “We need you to carry Jana home, her and Isa just threw up all over the place.”

“Classic.” Jens laughed as he nodded at her. “Okay, we’ll be right there.”

Lucas bit his hip, a little disappointed that their moment had been ruined. Trying not to let it show so much on his face, he tried to crack a small chuckle.

“Looks like the party is ending earlier than we thought.” He managed to say, as they walked towards the house.

Jens laughed again. “Sorry us Belgians have a weaker tolerance than you Dutch.”

He shook his head. “Didn’t you hear Liv? It was both Jana and Isa throwing up.”

“Isa doesn’t stand a chance against that Dutch tolerance does she?”

“Nope. It wouldn’t be a party without her losing to it each time.”

They arrived into the house and were greeted quickly by the rest of this friends. Poor Isa was being held up by Kes and Jayden, her eyelids dropping as she groaned from her nausea. They found Jana being held up by Isa, her face pale and her voice slurred.

“Liv, Liv, Liv, look!” She exclaimed, pointing at both Jens and Lucas. “My rescuers have come to save me!” She pouted her lips. “My favourite pair of boyfriends.”

“In a different country but the party routine still commences, doesn’t it Jana?” Jens teased, ignoring the last part and walking towards her side. He slung one arm around him, letting her shift some of her weight onto him. He nodded at Lucas. “Come get her other side.”

“Oh yeah.” Lucas said, figuring to ignore what Jana had said as well. He walked over, Liv placing her gently onto him.

“Looks like Isa finally found her drinking buddy.” Jayden laughed, before opening the front door with his foot.

“Too bad she lives on the other side of the border.” Jens snorted. “She won’t be able to party like this every weekend.”

“Oh thank god.” Liv said from behind them, rolling her eyes as they all headed out the door.

“Even in a different country, I still manage to sleep beside you.” Jens chuckled as he slid into the empty space on the bed beside him.

Sleeping arrangements turned out to be fairly easy. The second they had walked into the flat, Isa and Jana both collapsed onto the two couches. Liv seemed decently pleased, knowing she wouldn’t have to share her bed. They threw some blankets on them, chilled out in the kitchen for awhile before eventually heading off to bed. Since Ralph was gone for the weekend, Lucas and Jens were able to crash in his room while Kes was forced to make do with Jayden.

“Some things never change.” Lucas said with a smile, instantly feeling some of Jens’ radiating heat off of him. Instinctively, he moved in a little closer, minimizing the space that laid between them.

“Hey.” Jens whispered in the dark, smiling brightly that his teeth shown like the stars.

Lucas giggled. “Hi.”

“You know, it’s kind of nice that I’ve gotten used to sleeping beside you.” He whispered. “It doesn’t make this place feel any different than home.”

“Does it feel different?” He asked, frowning a little. “Do you feel weird being here?”

“No!” He shook his head quickly, and chuckled. “No, of course not. I actually love it here. It’s a nice place to make a life out of.”

“Oh.” He paused. “I kind of want to move back here after high school.”

“For university?”

“Probably.”

“I’d come with you.”

He widened his eyes in surprise. “You would follow me here?”

“Sure, why not?” Jens shrugged. “It’s not that far away from Antwerp. Close enough for me to visit my parents and far enough that they have no control over me.” Now Jens paused. “To be honest, I think I would prefer the distance actually.”

“Are things at home not good?” Lucas asked softly and nervously, hoping it wouldn’t upset Jens.

But Jens only chuckled again. “No, it’s not that. Things could be better though. I don’t think I’ve ever told you this, but I’m also a child of divorce. Except instead of living with my dad, who by the way, moved all the way to Switzerland of all places, I live with my mom. And the second marriage brought some baggage, also known as my evil step sisters.”

“I thought it was going to be strange from going from an only child to having a sister.” He admitted. “But it’s actually pretty cool. It’s like having a permanent friend with you all the time.”

“Yeah, you got the lucky deck handed to you. I don’t think my sisters even tried being remotely decent towards me.” His voice lowered a bit. “To be honest, I almost got a little jealous over Jana. When she told me she was getting a brother and he was really nice, I was a little upset that I didn’t get a nice sibling.”

“Oh.” He paused again. “Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” Jens smiled. “I was lucky she got you. You ended up being one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, and now I have no idea what I would do without you.”

“Oh.” His voice went up in a delight as he smiled back at him. “I don’t know what I would do without you either.”

Jens looked at him softly, bringing a hand up to the side of his face and tucking some loose curls behind his ear. Lucas held his breath, feeling his heart race and the familiar fuzzy feeling take over. It was the same feeling he had gotten earlier, right before they were interrupted, just before Lucas was going to kiss him.

“Luc,” He said quietly, not taking his eyes off of him. “You do know I like you more than a friend, right?”

“I know. It, just.” He trailed off.

“Just what?”

“Well I haven’t asked you to be my boyfriend yet because I haven’t kissed you yet.” Lucas blurted out. “And I know I shouldn’t be scared to because I know you feel the same way I do and even if you didn’t I know you wouldn’t make me feel bad about it but I just don’t know when’s the perfect time to do it and then I panic and over think and then I miss my chance and then I-“

Lucas was quickly cut off by a kiss.

It took him a second for his brain to register it, but when he did, he instantly melted against it. Jens was holding his face firmly while still managing to make the kiss soft and gently. Lucas hummed into the kiss, almost having to hold his breath as he felt his chest tighten with so much euphoria. The space between them didn’t exist, and Lucas trailed his hand to Jens’ jawline, tilting it so he could have more of him. Lucas felt him smile against his lips, and it felt like a breath of fresh air. He could almost feel Jens’ own heart beating against his chest and he wondered if he could feel his.

He wondered why he hadn’t kissed him sooner. He wished he had. If he had known it was going to be like this then maybe Lucas wouldn't have felt so shy about his little crush.

But he also didn’t mind the waiting. He didn’t mind that he got to spend time with Jens before this, to really know him and understand him. To have had their shy glances exchanged for shy smiles to eventual shy affections.

Lucas didn’t mind the waiting. Because right now, the moment was perfect. And he wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Eventually they pulled apart, staring at each other in awe. Lucas couldn’t stop holding his face as he marvelled at the boy in front of him. The boy he had fallen so hard for, despite the short amount of time he had known him for. But with the way he was being marvelled at and also being held in the hands of Jens, he knew there was no more questioning between them.

“Now can you ask me to be your boyfriend?” Jens asked, his voice panting a little as he tried to regulate his breathing.

Giggling, Lucas leaned his forehead forward, pressing it against his.

“Will you be my boyfriend?” He asked in a whispered.

And he smiled. Because he already knew the answer.

Lucas was barely awake when he heard the bedroom door swing open. Groaning, he opened his eyes halfway and saw Jana standing there. She looked way better than she had last night, and based on the brightness on her face, she was definitely way more alive.

“Wake up.” She instructed them, flinging her hands everywhere. “We’re gonna roam around Utrecht today and we have to hit all the spots.

“Few more minutes.” Jens groaned, his eyes still shut and his head still buried in the pillows.

Jana narrowed her eyes at them. It didn’t take her long to realize the way they had fallen asleep. Jens hand one arm tucked under Lucas, his hand wrapped around to his back. Lucas was practically shoved into his chest, as one leg was thrown over him, peeking from the tangled blanket that halfway laid on top of them. Jens had his other hand thrown over Lucas’ waist, and it was unlike any sleeping position Jana had ever seen them in.

“Oh my god, it finally happened.” She squealed.

“What?” Lucas mumbled, trying to sit up but Jens only pulled him back down.

“Ignore her.” He mumbled.

He could hear Jana excitedly running towards the kitchen, which he figured everyone else was at based on where the sound of a clatter of dishes, smell of breakfast food and chatting voices came from. He wanted to sit up, to try to figure out what was happening but Jens’ grip was tight and firm. There was no escape to it.

“You guys!” He heard Jana exclaim. “I told you! I told you all! Lucas and Jens, they’re boyfriends!”

“I called it first!” He heard Kes yell, envisioning him scrambling through the kitchen to go declare it to them personally.

Knowing his friends were going to instantly swarm into the room and interrogate them, Lucas ducked underneath the blanket as Jens’ chest vibrated with a laugh. He felt Jens kiss the top of the curls that peaked out from out of the blanket as he pushed himself closer to his chest.

At least only one of their flushed faces would be given away.

4 notes · View notes

peaceoutofthepieces · 3 years

Text

meet me in another universe

I wasn’t entirely sure whether to post this or not (and I had some trouble getting it finished), but in honour of ‘meeting’ @dreamy-slytherin a year ago, here’s a fic about five ways VDS could have met, and one way they do :)

~^~

1. Evak/Davenzi Style

Jens is only sitting on the toilet for about two minutes when he hears the footsteps and quiet cursing as someone rattles the door of his stall. He freezes, looking up from his phone with wide eyes. He supposes it’s someone looking to use the bathroom, but then he hears the ruffle of the tissue dispenser on the wall rather than the door in the stall next to him.

He hesitates for a moment, then stands, stuffing his phone in his pocket and opening the door carefully.

Surely enough, there’s a boy standing by the sinks, fiddling futilely at the empty box. Jens only has time to take in ratty converse, light-wash blue jeans and a matching denim jacket before the boy is turning and glancing at him. Jens’s breath gets caught up in his throat at the sight of striking blue eyes and bronze curls.

He’s seen this boy, once. He had passed him in the courtyard earlier in the week, and the boy had met his gaze and continued walking, and Jens was left looking over his shoulder after him and wondering why. He thought it was the unfamiliar face. That could be the reason, now, that something curious and excited flutters in his stomach and urges him, this time, to interact.

“Fuck, sorry, you’re looking for tissues,” he says.

The boy only looks at him as Jens retreats into the stall long enough to tear off a strip of toilet paper. He comes out and hands it to the boy now stood stock still in the dim fluorescent lights, who takes it from him hesitantly. Jens only then notices the damp drips drying into the boy’s pink sweater. The weight of his eyes on the spot seems to be what snaps the other boy into motion, as he immediately begins dabbing at his clothes in an attempt to sop up the water.

“Fountain mishap, or something more embarrassing?” Jens finds himself asking, leaning back against the sinks.

“Uhm.” The boy glances up at him, cheeks tinted red. It’s cute. “Fountain. I didn’t know what I was doing.”

Jens shakes his head, smiling, ignoring that this is his first time hearing the boy’s voice and that it’s accented and pretty. “Nah, I’ve been using it for years and it still acts up on me, don’t stress. You’re new.”

It isn’t a question, because now that Jens has heard him speak and the boy had admitted his confusion, it’s obvious.

“That’s why I was supposed to be going to the group thing, but this didn’t feel like the best first impression.” He gestures at his sweater, where the stain has faded slightly but also spread in retaliation.

Jens shrugs. “I wouldn’t go in there, if I were you. They’re doing trust circles. Hand holding and all.”

When the boy looks at him curiously, Jens explains, “Whatever they’re doing in there is the reason I was in here.”

This earns him a huff of laughter, as the boy tosses his wad of tissue in the bin and glances at the door, then back at Jens. Jens pulls the joint from behind his ear and holds it up for the boy to see, raising his brows. There’s a moment of hesitation, and then Jens simply heads out the door and nods for the boy to follow him.

He leads them outside, and finally settles atop one of the tables in the courtyard with his feet on the bench. By the time the boy joins him, Jens has already lit the joint and taken a drag. The boy accepts it when Jens offers it to him and climbs up onto the table himself, shoulders curling against the cold as he brings the joint to his lips.

“What’s your name?”

The boy looks at him and passes the joint back, cheeks and nose red now. “Lucas.”

Lucas, Lucas, Lucas.

Jens lets the name settle for a second and then says, “I’m Jens.”

Lucas simply nods, but he’s smiling as he tucks his hands into his pockets and hugs his jacket tighter around himself. It’s obvious, looking at him, that he’s cold, but he radiates warmth all along Jens’s side. Jens allows himself to shift just an inch closer, imperceptibly, stretching a leg out as he does it in the hope that Lucas won’t notice. But Lucas remains unphased and silent, and Jens misses his gaze and his voice.

“So, who roped you into Amber’s cult?” Jens asks.

This time, Lucas’s laugh is full-bodied and beautiful, paired with a small but brilliant smile as he looks at Jens incredulously. “That would‘ve been Amber herself, but Luca was oddly more convincing. You know them well?”

Jens hums in confirmation, but doesn’t bother offering the story. Instead he says, “It only took me about thirty seconds to realise that’s why I should’ve known better.”

“Okay,” Lucas laughs again. “I feel kind of bad for skipping out. They’ve been very welcoming.”

“Are you in our year?” Jens questions.

Lucas shakes his head. “Sixth.”

Jens furrows his brows, suddenly intrigued. “Transferring in your last year?”

Lucas simply shrugs.

“From Amsterdam?” Jens guesses.

“Utrecht,” Lucas corrects. Then, with a glint to his smile, “I’m on the run.”

Jens whistles. “Amber would’ve loved you sharing that in her party games. She’s gonna be so jealous I got the gossip first.”

Lucas heaves a sigh. “And, test failed. Now I’m going to have to kill you too and hide somewhere else.”

Jens starts laughing in the middle of a drag and chokes slightly, but it doesn’t deter him. He just coughs into his fist and lets his laughter continue, loud in his surprise, smile stretched so wide his cheeks might split. He shakes his head in amusement while Lucas tries to keep his expression stoic, though his lips twitch at the corners. “Come on, if I’d known it was a test I would’ve passed,” Jens protests. “Give me a second chance.”

After an intense staring contest, in which Lucas slowly loses his unimpressed gaze and Jens does his best to look pleading, Lucas is the one to cave. He looks away from Jens with another sigh, smile finally breaking out. “Fine. Since you shared.” Lucas gestures to the joint, and Jens grins and offers it to him again.

Jens thinks the meeting might have been a good idea after all.

2. Elu Style

Lucas shakes his head at Kes and Jayden’s antics, stretching his legs out in front of him and reclining back in the chair, meeting Liv’s pointed look and resisting the urge to offer her a mocking salute. He does, however, allow a smug smile, and Liv simply rolls her eyes and tunes back into the conversation between the girls. Lucas has already blocked them out, and Kes and Jayden gave up their complaining after a mere few minutes, so he hasn’t had to listen to them either. Instead he lets them all fade into a buzz, and only curiously looks around when the door opens again and more students trickle in.

His heart jumps up and lodges itself in his throat.

Amidst the miniature crowd is a tall boy with raven hair and bright brown eyes, whom Lucas has definitely never seen before at this school but is possibly the most beautiful person he’s ever laid his eyes on.

The boy sits at the edge of the row behind Lucas, caught in conversation with the girl sitting next to him. However, as he settles, he glances around. It’s possible this description of his actions is inaccurate, because in fact his eyes seem to go straight to Lucas’s without taking in any other aspect of the room. Lucas freezes as the boy’s smile seems to grow just slightly, and quickly looks away, focusing his attention back on Engel, who has now begun giving some sort of introduction.

Lucas would be dishonest if he said he took in a word, but he hadn’t planned on it to begin with. He’d just thought it would be due to zoning out rather than an unexpected distraction.

But he’s raptly focused on the rapid beat of his heart, and he can’t help throwing another glance over his shoulder.

Throughout the whole meeting, it’s a repetitive process. Lucas glances over his shoulder and then away again, every time the boy meets his eyes and smiles wider and doesn’t avert his own gaze. Lucas’s cheeks are warm, the heat having crawled slowly up his neck and continuing to spread. He’s glad of the light tan he’d earned over the summer, hoping that it keeps the blush mostly secret. He doubts it, however, especially when he looks back to find the boy’s eyes already on him and his pulse rockets to a worrying speed.

“—cas?”

Lucas tunes back in as Kes elbows him, willing his blush down and letting out a hum. Jayden huffs a laugh, shaking his head, but the furrow of Kes’s brow belies his smile. “The girl, last night. What happened?”

“Yeah,” Lucas says, making Kes’s brows raise and Jayden make another noise of exasperation. “I mean, yeah, it was cool.”

Jayden leans in as Kes nods, expectant. “Did you get her number?”

Lucas murmurs a confirmation, and mostly blocks out their cheers and praises. He keeps his gaze on the girls, but still doesn’t know what they’re talking about, still only has one image fixed in his mind and his heartbeat loud in his ears. He glances over his shoulder one more time and the boy is no longer looking at him.

He avoids glancing back for the rest of the meeting and is dismayed to realise the boy has already left by the time he shuffles out with Kes and Jayden. The only saving grace is that they seem not to have minded the meeting much, and don’t give Lucas any shit on their way to the gate, rather talking idly amidst themselves and leaving Lucas lost in his own head. They depart once they make it onto the dark street, both offering him their traditional handshake and a wave, and Lucas turns towards the bus-stop on his own.

Lucas instantly recognises the lone figure beyond the stop, poised in front of the vending machine with his back to the street. The same boy from the meeting. He hesitates as he bypasses the bench and hovers a few feet away, leaving himself with a view of the boy’s side profile and the anxious tap of his fingers over his bag strap. He’s gazing at the vending machine in deep concentration, contemplating his options with more seriousness than Lucas has ever witnessed.

After a moment, in which the boy fails to acknowledge him, Lucas clears his throat. “Twenty-one is the best, in my opinion,” he offers.

He politely ignores the way the boy jumps, though has to purse his lips to stop a smile. The boy looks him over consideringly, then shrugs and slots some coins into the machine before pressing the buttons. The bar falls from the twenty-one rack and the boy repeats the process, watching the one remaining snack fall and then ducking down to dig them both out.

Lucas watches the whole affair in awe and mild offence.

Then the boy turns to him and raises one of the bars and his brows; a silent offering. Lucas simply stares at him, and the boy tosses him the chocolate without a word, and then nods towards the bench.

There’s no reason not to, so Lucas follows with the bar clutched in his hands.

They settle onto opposite ends of the cool seat. Lucas watches as the boy tears the wrapper and takes an experimental bite. He chews, looking out at the street rather than at Lucas, until he swallows and allows a nod. Then he turns to Lucas with the same smile as earlier and simply says, “Not bad.”

Lucas shrugs, letting a smile of his own surface and cataloguing the accent, rather than allowing himself to focus on the boy’s lips. He holds up his own bar and gives it a little wave. “When it’s free, it’s easy to enjoy even more.”

The boy huffs, accepting this with an amused nod before popping another square of chocolate in his mouth. The silence stretches in the time it takes him to swallow, and then he looks at Lucas with a squinty smile and says, “The meeting was kind of weird.”

“Yeah.” It’s Lucas’s turn to huff, his smile growing. “You’ll learn to expect that from Engel. Did you understand what the survey was about?”

“No,” the boy admits with a laugh. He tears the wrapper of his bar a little further and Lucas’s gaze is drawn to his hands. He shrugs and looks back up at Lucas. “Still, it’s cool.”

“The survey?” Lucas raises a brow.

The boy huffs another laugh. “No, but the common room. It’s a good way to meet new people.”

Lucas absorbs this, then tests out his earlier deduction. “You’re new?”

“Started a couple of weeks ago,” the boy confirms.

“Isn’t that a little weird?” Lucas asks. “Transferring a few months before graduation?”

The boy looks at him again, now with raised brows. “Do you just find everything weird?”

Lucas huffs, feeling some of his flush return, but he mimics the other’s expression. “Wasn’t it you calling the meeting weird first?”

The boy accepts this loss with a shrug, smiling at Lucas before setting a square of chocolate between his teeth. “I must be weird too, then.”

“I didn’t mean—“ Lucas begins the protest, but falters when he notices the amused glimmer in the boy’s gaze. Then he closes his eyes and lets out a breath, poking his tongue into his cheek in an attempt to control his smile. The boy laughs, and Lucas shakes his head. “No, I’m sure you’re great…”

He trails off, realising he hasn’t asked for the other’s name. Thankfully, the boy seems to understand, and simply says, “Jens.” He sets his now empty wrapper in his lap and brushes his hands off on his jeans, then holds one out towards Lucas. “I’m Jens.”

Lucas takes his hand somewhat cautiously, feeling the thrum of his heartbeat kick up again. He stashes the name away alongside the smile and the eyes and the accent. Then he returns, “Lucas.”

3. Crisana Style

Jens weaves his way through the crowd and towards the front door, where he’s immediately stopped by the bouncer. Jens holds up his free hand and whirls around to abandon his mostly-empty beer bottle on the nearest flat surface, then finally makes his way into the cooler air. He sucks in a breath and releases it on a sigh, moving along the side of the building to collapse on one of the benches. He leans back against the wall and lets out another sigh, closing his eyes in contentment as he enjoys the relatively silent surroundings.

Then someone says, “Hey.”

Jens starts, blinking his eyes open and turning his head to the left to find a boy sitting next to him. At first, Jens is slightly dubious, because meeting a stranger sitting outside a club in the dark isn’t often a good outcome. But the boy is young, at least, around Jens’s own age as far as he can tell. His eyes are clear, not bloodshot or misty, though he does have a joint between his fingers. There’s an amused, curious curve to his lips as he watches Jens. Jens swallows down the sudden lump in his throat and manages, “Hey.”

The boy raises his brows at him, and Jens swallows and blinks all over again. “I’m Lucas,” the boy says, still watching Jens closely. Jens just keeps staring. “We have literature together?”

Jens’s lips part, and then recognition shines through the alcohol-induced haze. “Fuck, sorry, you’re the new guy.” Lucas huffs, but he’s still smiling and he nods in acknowledgment, flicking some ash off the end of the joint. Jens follows the movement, then returns to gazing at Lucas’s face, and he finds that he’s smiling back. It’s not that he’s been waiting for this opportunity, but, well, he might have spent some time those first few days staring across the room at the back of Lucas’s head and the occasional tilt of his side profile. He hasn’t made any attempts at connecting with Lucas himself, but he’d heard all the stories and felt all the same curiosity. He can’t deny that he’s a little excited, now, to get the opportunity to interact. “I’m Jens.”

Lucas simply raises his brows, his smile widening. “I know.”

It doesn’t make it easy to continue the conversation, but it sends a few rivulets of warmth flowing through Jens’s chest. It’s a curious feeling, and one that he doesn’t want to think much about. Instead he keeps staring at Lucas and watches as he brings the joint back to his lips, taking another drag. Lucas is dressed much more stylishly and a lot less conveniently than Jens. He’s shivering in his dark button-down and jeans, and his hair attempts to flutter out of the neat waves he has lain over his forehead. Jens compares it to his own usual hoodie while realising he’s staring, and then quickly looks away.

He pats down his pockets, eventually finding the small bag in his jeans and pulling it out only to realise it’s empty. He blows out a sigh and stows the plastic away and hears another huff next to him. Lucas’s hand comes into his line of sight, joint held out in offering. “Here.”

Jens takes it gratefully, drawing a long inhale and then stiffening at Lucas’s sound of protest.

“Enjoy it while it lasts,” Lucas orders. “That’s the last of my home stash.”

Jens huffs in understanding, passing the joint back and ignoring the sparks of heat as Lucas’s fingers brush his. “And where’s that? You’re Dutch, right?”

Lucas nods. “I moved from Utrecht.” He flicks some more ash off the joint then hands it to Jens.

This time, Jens takes a small puff and blows the smoke upward, letting it curl into the space between them. Now Lucas’s eyes appear hazy. Pretty. Jens rolls the joint between his fingers and takes another drag when Lucas simply leans back and watches him. Jens looks at him curiously. “Why’d you do that? Move in the middle of the year? It’s a little weird, no?”

He waits for an answer, but Lucas has already lost interest in him, diverting his gaze past Jens with a raised hand. “Wait, this song.”

He looks at Jens excitedly. Jens looks back, listening. He can faintly hear the music filtering through the open doorway, but he doesn’t recognise it. He purses his lips and shakes his head, admitting his confusion. Lucas’s jaw drops and he nudges his shoulder. “Come on. From Romeo and Juliet?”

Jens slowly shakes his head again, biting down a smile as Lucas scoffs and snatches the joint back out of his hand.

“Seriously? You’ve never seen it?” At Jens’s denial, Lucas’s smile turns teasing. “I can’t believe you take literature and you’re this uncultured.”

“Hey,” Jens protests, laughing slightly. Lucas’s eyes are very blue. He’s got a ring on the index finger of his right hand. Jens watches it glimmer as Lucas lifts his hand to his mouth for another drag. The joint has dwindled down so far his fingers are almost brushing his lips. “I’ve read Romeo and Juliet.” Plus, he knows Robbe has watched it, and he had sat through a scene or two, but he’d never felt a desire to watch the whole thing. It didn’t feel like his kind of film. He hadn’t thought it would be Lucas’s, either, but he doesn’t know how he’d know that in the first place.

“Yeah, but everyone knows the Baz Luhrmann production is the best version.” Lucas points at him, both brows raised. “You have to watch it before you’re allowed to watch any other new film. Even just for this soundtrack. Look.”

Before Jens knows what’s happening, Lucas is grabbing his hand with the one still holding the joint and pulling it towards himself, pressing Jens’s palm to his own chest, over his heartbeat. Jens sucks in a breath.

Lucas doesn’t notice, eyes bright as he continues speaking. “Do you ever get songs like that? Ones that just move you and you can’t even explain why?”

Jens can’t answer, simply watching Lucas with rapt attention. He’s focused on the soft fabric of Lucas’s shirt crinkling between his fingers, and the thump of Lucas’s heart against his hand, quick but not overly so. He’s focused on the sturdy plane of Lucas’s chest and the soft touch of Lucas’s hand. His own heartbeat is loud in his ears.

Then Lucas lays his free hand over Jens’s chest, in the open gap of his hoodie, splaying slowly over his thin t-shirt. Jens holds his breath and looks up at Lucas’s smile.

“See,” Lucas says softly. Jens half expects him to sound smug, but he doesn’t. He’s just quietly pleased, eyes flicking between Jens’s as if he’s searching for something. “It’s not just me. Your heart’s going faster than mine.”

Jens feels like he should protest. He can’t lie about his heartbeat, because it speeds up even further at Lucas’s touch, but he can explain that it isn’t about the music. He can’t even hear it any more. It has all whited out in favour of the sound of Lucas’s voice and his own pulse. Maybe he had drunk more than he’d thought, or Dutch weed is stronger, but he feels lightheaded and loose. Floaty. Still, he has enough sense to know he can’t tell Lucas the truth. That it has nothing to do with the music and everything to do with him, and his proximity, much closer than it had been when Jens first sat down.

Instead of telling him any of this, Jens simply huffs again, but he’s unable to hide his grin.

4. Nicotino Style

Lucas drums his fingers over his knee and glances away from Engel to his phone. The boy in his peripheral laughs at whatever Janna says, and Lucas purposefully doesn’t look at him, swallowing the desire and getting to his feet. He holds up his phone to the girls in apology and points towards the door, putting the phone to his ear and uttering a greeting. He keeps it up as he wanders down the hallway, trailing his fingers along the wall as he goes, talking nonsense until he makes it into the small radio room and gets the door closed behind him. Then he mutters a curse as a ‘goodbye’ and drops into the lone swivel chair, setting his phone on the table next to the microphone.

He does a few slow rotations, taking in the small recording space with faint intrigue. He glances over the various buttons and tools as he completes his round, leaning forward and hovering his fingers over a few. He looks at the microphone in front of him and then picks up the headphones next to it, settling them over his ears. He leans forward hesitantly and speaks into the mic. “Testing, testing, one, two, three.”

As expected, nothing happens. He clears his throat and settles his arms across the tabletop. “Hallo,” he continues, smiling now. “This broadcast is coming to you from Radio Lieve. Today’s talk will be a lesson on how to grow weed from your closet, a highly recommended practice by our very own Engel Beekman, whom we thank. To start—“

He cuts himself off abruptly as the light flicks on across the window and he sees the boy from the meeting through the glass. He’s all dark hair and contrasting features; sharp jaw and nose, soft eyes and lips. They all morph with his smile, as he leans forward and raises his brows at Lucas. “Why did you stop?”

“Uhm,” Lucas says. His mind has gone blank. “I wasn’t recording, just...messing around.”

“Pity,” the boy sighs, sitting back. “I really wanted to see where that was going.”

Lucas can’t help but respond to his smile. His lips curl up involuntarily even in his surprise. He has seen the boy around, but only once or twice, all within the past week. He doesn’t know why he’s never seen him before that, because he’s sure he would have noticed. Now, though, the accent feels like a hint.

Lucas looks at the boy and the boy looks around the small space. “This place is actually kind of cool,” he admits.

“Yeah, well, the place isn’t the problem,” Lucas explains.

The boy laughs quietly. “What is, then?”

Lucas shrugs, slumping back and swiveling side to side in his chair as he thinks, letting his smile slip into a smirk. “Well, the food for one thing. I’m always up for something sweet, but that cake…” he trails off, grimacing, and earns himself a louder bout of laughter.

“And the discipline guide,” the boy points out. “Scheduled bathroom breaks and a dress code? It’s a radio show.”

This time Lucas is the one who laughs. He doesn’t know why he expected to feel nerves. They are present, faintly, but only as a mild flutter in his stomach and sweat on his palms. Overall, he feels pleasantly surprised and mostly relaxed. He’d half thought someone so pretty would be more intimidating, but the boy looks the exact opposite in his cuffed jeans and worn-out hoodie. Especially with the grin on his face.

He turns it past Lucas all of a sudden and brightens. “Is that the balcony?”

Lucas turns around and glances out the window behind him. “Uh, yeah, but I think it’s closed.”

The boy hums, pursing his lips and tilting his head to the side. “Do you think it also shows you how to break into that in this video they talked about?”

Lucas huffs as his smile spreads again. “Probably, but the wifi is terrible here.”

“My phone’s dead,” the boy admits, sighing. Then he raises his brows at Lucas, and holds up a blunt. “Shall we try anyway?”

Lucas raises his brows back and grins.

There are more obstacles than he expects, but the most difficult part is definitely climbing through the broken gate. There’s only one bar taken out, and Lucas thinks if they both weren’t quite as thin, there’s no way they’d make it through. It’s a tight squeeze for the other boy purely due to his height, though he manages with considerably more grace than Lucas. Once they’re finally through, it’s only a matter of trekking up the stairwell and walking out onto the balcony with ease.

The boy whistles as Lucas follows a few steps behind him, looking out at the view. “Damn, this is a pretty nice city.”

“Yeah,” Lucas agrees, vaguely impressed himself. “It’s probably better from up here.”

The boy shrugs and settles himself on the ground, reproducing his blunt and a lighter along with it. Lucas watches as he places the blunt between his lips and lights up, flame illuminating his face in a soft glow for just a second. He looks at Lucas as he’s tucking his lighter back into his pocket, blowing smoke out the corner of his mouth. “Do you already know Engel, then?”

“Kind of,” Lucas shrugs. “Mostly through my friend, Isa.”

The boy nods and passes him the blunt, which Lucas accepts with a quiet thanks. “You don’t seem overly excited about this radio thing, though.”

“It’s complicated,” Lucas admits. He takes a drag and it settles his racing heart a bit, but it can only help so much with the boy’s eyes still on him. “You can’t be that into it, either, if you’re hanging out here with me instead of in there.”

“Blame your friend, Isa,” the boy says with a laugh, before groaning as he tilts his head back. “I needed an extra-curricular and there wasn’t too many options. I figured if I could post dumb vlogs on YouTube I could speak on a school radio show.”

Lucas raises his brows and his eyes widen. He’s sure he looks ridiculous, can see it in the boy’s amused expression, but he can’t quite contain his shock or his desire to know more. “You post vlogs on YouTube? Who the hell are you and why don’t I know already?”

The boy laughs again. It’s an unfairly pretty sound. This time, Lucas thinks there’s a faint blush accompanying it. “I’m Jens,” he offers. “I lived in Belgium until a few weeks ago, so I wouldn’t expect you to know me.”

Lucas blinks. He’d already guessed as much, but it’s still strange to hear. “You moved mid-semester?”

“Yep,” Jens says. He steals the blunt out of Lucas’s hand. “I’m the talk of the town. Gotta say it’s a little disappointing you don’t know me, actually.”

“Plus you’re apparently internet famous,” Lucas says, lingering on Jens’s lips as he wraps them around the blunt. He wouldn’t be entirely surprised. That kind of beauty must have garnered some popularity, somewhere.

Jens shakes his head, amused. “I wouldn’t say that,” he dismisses. “But you’re probably going to stalk me anyway now.”

“Absolutely,” Lucas confirms. Jens shakes his head again, laughs again, and Lucas feels the nerves dissipate into an old, familiar warmth, and instead of squashing it down, lets it spread along with his smile.

5. Sobbe Style

Jens walks back towards the house and catches his first glimpse of the boy through the windows. He glances at Jens briefly through the glass, but doesn’t linger like Jens does. Jens keeps looking over his shoulder until he makes it to the door, and then he steps in just in time for the boy to turn around and look at him. They’d come back to the house Amber had rented previously for break, all the same crew with the addition of Senne, but definitely not this boy. This boy is unfamiliar and pretty and Jens would definitely have noticed if he was supposed to be standing in their kitchen.

“Hey,” Jens says curiously.

“Do you know where the sugar is?” the boy asks, ignoring him. “Or the coffee itself?”

Jens blinks. “Uhm.”

“Any food?” The boy huffs when Jens simply continues to stare at him. “Seriously, are you the manager or what?”

Jens is baffled, and he has no hope of hiding it. “What?”

The boy waves a hand, brows high on his forehead. “I made sure this place was a B&B. Honestly, how hard is it to stock a fridge at least? And what about the little free soaps?”

“Sorry—“ Jens starts.

“Are you so careless of your guests that you don’t even provide bottled water?” the boy cuts him off, seeming genuinely incredulous. “Well?”

Jens parts his lips a few times before actually managing to speak, entirely confused and slightly irritated. “Sorry,” he repeats, “but who actually are you?”

The boy holds his stare for another minute and then breaks into a laugh, covering his face with his hand. He peeks at Jens through his fingers. “Oh my god, sorry.” He chuckles. “You really should’ve seen your face, though.”

When Jens only continues to stare blankly, the boy sobers slightly and offers a hand. “Sorry. I’m Lucas.”

Jens carefully takes his hand and gives one shake, still feeling lost. “Jens.”

“Yeah,” Lucas smiles, then laughs again. “You probably forgot. I’m Sander’s friend. He told me he did this to Robbe last year, made a bet with me that I couldn’t pull it off with one of you guys, too.” Lucas shrugs. His grin appears only faintly apologetic. “So, sorry, you were just the unlucky target.”

Finally, the name rings a bell. Jens had forgotten that Sander invited anyone on this trip, because in his experience it was odd that Sander had any sort of attention span for anyone other than Robbe. But as Jens skims his gaze over Lucas, takes in the artfully ruffled hair and paint-stained clothing and old-fashioned converse, he kind of understands.

“What makes you think Sander will believe you?” Jens finds himself asking, narrowing his eyes at Lucas in a somewhat teasing gesture. It’s the best way he knows to gain back some traction, here, and settle more firmly on his feet.

Lucas is unfazed. “I have a trustworthy witness,” he says easily.

Jens holds his challenging gaze for only a few seconds before relenting, tucking his hands into his pockets and matching Lucas’s leaning pose against the wall. “Your little act was weirdly convincing, I admit.”

Lucas offers a small smile and bow. Jens doesn’t think he has quite the dramatic flair of his friend, but he has some of the cheekiness, the sparkle and the daunting aura. There’s something inexplicably cool and instantly likable—qualities Jens himself has always envied. Lucas had seemed a little embarrassed after his stunt, but he doesn’t appear shy, instead holding a quiet confidence not unlike Robbe’s.

“How do you know Sander?” Jens decides to question, because he really does get it but he also really doesn’t.

He’s surprised when Lucas simply answers, “The Academy.”

Jens raises his brows. He hadn’t thought Lucas was older than him. “You’re in college?”

“Yeah,” Lucas says, faintly amused. “Not just any college, though. Art college.”

“Yeah,” Jens muses, “that’s much better.”

Lucas instantly flips him off, and Jens laughs and instantly decides that he likes this stranger. He supposes that’s a good thing, considering Lucas is to spend the next week with them, and Robbe would probably be pissed if Jens decided not to get along with Sander’s friends. He can’t help thinking none of them have to worry. He’s actually a little awed by Lucas’s small prank and the guts he had to break it out immediately.

“I thought that meant I was supposed to be the pretentious one, but your hospitality is shit,” Lucas informs him. But he’s still grinning, so Jens thinks they’re probably okay.

“Your little joke was very pretentious, don’t worry,” Jens reassures, although he’s not sure he means it. Nothing about Lucas seems overly cocky or irritating. Pretentious isn’t quite a word that fits.

Lucas simply huffs another laugh and then makes his way around him. He grabs a denim jacket from the sofa and then opens the front door, beckoning Jens after him. “Alright, come on.”

Jens blinks, instantly falling back to his confused state. “Huh?” When Lucas simply raises his brows expectantly, Jens clarifies, “Where are we going?”

“You actually don’t have any sugar. Or water,” Lucas says. “We’re going to buy some.”

“But Sander—“

“Is still locked in that room and probably won’t be out for a while.” Lucas raises his brows pointedly as Jens tamps down a grimace. “Do you have anything better to do? Unless you want to stay around and listen, which,” Lucas pulls a face, and the start of a laugh bubbles out of Jens again.

“Robbe’s my best friend, so, no thanks,” Jens explains, mimicking his expression. “I’m in the same boat as you.”

Lucas nods, pleased, like this is information he already knew. Jens supposes he probably did. “So?” Lucas presses. “You coming?”

Jens glances at the sofa, where he could spend the morning lazing around on his own until all the couples emerge and let Lucas wander about the town on his own. Then he looks back at Lucas and the stark blue of his eyes now paired with his denim jacket, still watching Jens back expectantly.

Jens follows him out the door without another word.

Lucas is too lost in his own head to notice the person coming towards him until he collides with them.

The breath is knocked out of him and he stumbles off his skateboard with a curse. Another low voice accompanies him, and the owner’s quick reflexes are the only thing that stops him from tumbling out into the street. A hand grips onto his shoulder and steadies him, and Lucas lets the weight ground him until gravity regains its hold on him.

“Shit, sorry,” Lucas says, finally looking up at the person he’d barelled into. His breath escapes him again at the sight. It’s a boy roughly his age, but with a few inches on him, as well as an overwhelming amount of beauty. There’s no other way to put it—Lucas has long ago begun to acknowledge the attractiveness of every male he meets, and he has no doubt that this boy is utterly gorgeous.

It complicates all of his already messy thoughts. Especially since the boy still hasn’t released Lucas’s shoulder.

He’s staring back at Lucas, skimming his gaze down his frame as if checking for injury. “I think neither of us were watching where we were going there,” the boy admits, laughing slightly as he meets Lucas’s eyes. “You okay?”

Lucas has to take a moment to gather his words. “Yeah,” he breathes. Then he clears his throat. “Thanks.”

The boy huffs and finally (sadly) drops his hand. “What, for almost running you over?”

“No.” Lucas blinks, managing to shake himself out of it enough to smile. “No, I mean, for the hand.”

The boy nods, then tucks those hands in his pockets and curiously tilts his head. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Lucas nods, but the boy immediately continues, “I can’t find a way to make it up to you?”

“I thought it was a mutual collision,” Lucas points out, then immediately wants to smack himself. It’s not every day he sees a gorgeous boy, never mind bumps into one. Beyond that, this boy hadn’t immediately left, when he could have easily cursed Lucas out and left it at that. Instead he’s still talking, and offering more, and Lucas is stupid. He should not be trying to put the boy off. He has no idea what he is supposed to do.

It doesn’t seem to matter, because the boy merely shrugs. “Yeah, but you looked more in need of a hand than me.”

Even Lucas isn’t stupid enough to argue with that.

“Can I ask your name, at least?” the boy tries.

That’s usually a good place to start, Lucas thinks. “Yeah, sorry. Lucas. You?”

“Jens.”

Lucas tucks the information away with a nod. He almost expects Jens to offer his hand again, this time to shake, but instead he gets another curious tilt of the head.

“Where were you headed?” Jens questions.

“Uhm.” Lucas blanks. He isn’t out with a destination in mind—only the departure had felt necessary. “I don’t know,” he admits. “I’m not familiar with anywhere yet.”

“You’re not from here?” Jens questions. He doesn’t seem surprised, though, as if the answer is already obvious, which it probably is. Lucas shakes his head anyway. Jens actually seems pleased with the information. “Let me show you around a bit, then. Might at least stop you from taking down anyone else.”

Lucas thinks he should feel mildly offended, but he can only smile in response. “If you can show me somewhere with good desserts, I’ll fully consider you a life-saver.”

Jens accepts this challenge with a small laugh, and turns around on the street to face the way Lucas had been heading. He leans down to pick up his board and collects Lucas’s while he’s at it, passing it over to him after a brief damage check. “No bodies or boards seem to have been injured, so that’s something.”

“Internal damage, though,” Lucas finds himself arguing. “Wounded pride that can only be healed by the unhealthiest mound of ice cream.”

“Seriously?” Jens laughs again. “Okay, I can manage that.”

They start down the street, and Lucas wonders if this is weird. He’d just crashed into Jens, and the boy is apparently taking him for ice cream. That’s not something strangers do, is it? Not even strangers in Belgium. Not anyone without an ulterior motive. He glances at Jens out of the side of his eye and tries a subtle examination, but it’s not as if he thinks Jens is dangerous.

He honestly just can’t quite believe his luck.

“Don’t freak out,” Jens huffs, and Lucas does his best not to blush. “I’ve seen you at school.”

Oh. “You have?”

Jens hums. “You’re in class with Robbe, right?”

Lucas is. The name instantly rings a bell, because Robbe is one of the few people that had bothered to introduce himself to Lucas over the past week. His first week adjusting to Antwerp. He nods.

“He mentioned you,” Jens informs him. “Pointed you out one day by he lockers, but you disappeared before we could talk to you.” Jens smiles over at him. “I was hoping I’d get another opportunity.”

“You were?” Lucas asks, disbelieving. “Why?”

“Well, I can’t have Robbe having first access to all the gossip,” Jens laments. “That’s supposed to be my job.”

Lucas still doesn’t quite understand, but he knows how to joke. “So you’re inviting me for ice cream because you’re nosy?”

Jens nods seriously. “That is exactly it.”

They look at each other for a minute, walking slower, before they both crack up in a laugh. Lucas wonders if Jens is actually telling the truth and it just happens to be funny, or if he knows how to work a conversation to alleviate all awkwardness and tension. Either way, Lucas is grateful. He’s also slightly disappointed in himself, for being so unsure of his new surroundings that he’d prevented Jens from being able to meet him sooner.

“I haven’t seen you around,” Lucas admits. He knows it’s the truth, because he would have remembered. “But I haven’t spoken to all that many people yet.”

Jens hums, frowning slightly. “It’s hard, moving this late, and especially after missing the first few weeks of the year. I’m sorry no one’s tried to make it easier for you.”

Lucas doesn’t bother mentioning that it’s probably his own fault. “Yeah, well,” he shrugs. “I guess now someone is.”

At this Jens grins, nodding in acknowledgement or acceptance; it might as well be admittance. Lucas decides that he doesn’t care, as long as it’s accompanied by that smile and Jens’s continued presence.

#van der stoffels #vds #wtfock #skam nl #vds fic #my fic

47 notes · View notes

kaypeace21 · 3 years

Note

i’m a survivor too, and i found that certain scenes/stuff will said just really struck me as ‘csa-survivor’-like? i felt a bit uncomfortable about headcanoning it happening to someone else, especially for a fandom as wild as this one, but your metas have really been a comfort to me because they’ve been able to pick out and explain things that i couldn’t necessarily find the words for myself.

and yeah, i would love to have a character like me that is powerful and who finds love and who gets a happy ending. the people who call the theory disgusting always kinda hit wrong with me because although csa is a difficult subject, we shouldn’t be ashamed about sharing it. they sound like they’re trying to say that it’s a bad topic to talk about and implying that it can’t happen to kids, which uhhhhh-

(i’m sure that’s not what they mean, precisely, but it’s still what they sound like, and i wish that they would stop implying that we can’t exist, especially in popular media. we do, and i’m not gonna pretend we don’t, and if they feel uncomfortable with the topic they can just use the block button. we deserve to have some well written representation just as much as anyone else. also, i really really hope that will gets a happy ending.)

anywayyyy i love your theories and i can see your post in the tag so i think you’re fine?? have a good day ❤️❤️❤️

SORRY, this ask took so long to respond to. It always warms my heart to hear other survivors speak and say they found comfort in my theory.

Yes, I think I and a lot of c*a/r*pe victims (subconscious or otherwise) were triggered by some of the symbolism/visuals in s1-3. And s3 made it hard for most of us to ignore the past imagery- since s3 wasn’t as subtle.

I get why people have reservations about the theory. But the debates to the contrary are usually just plain offensive. Or people trying to be respectful but being the opposite. There’s the obvious bad-apples . I got many anons after part 1 of my DID theory saying it “ruined/tainted byler”, and “if that happened to Will i’ll stop shipping byler” , or that it “ruins the best gay character” , and to “remove the post immediately”. And this was when I was open about being a gay c*a victim. I obviously blocked them. Many survivors don’t come forward because they’re afraid people will see them as “tainted”, “ruined”, “ just their trauma”, or blame them for what happened. So yeah, it pisses me off when people say similar stuff about Will (and thus other c*a victims). Not even diving into the messed up psychology about byler/mileven shippers (knowing i was a lesbian c*a victim) but purposely spreading bs rumors about me being a p*do that was into Will/Noah-all because of the theory. -_-

Then there’s the people who try to be “respectful” but literally do the opposite.

I’ve heard numerous times it’s somehow “less offensive” to just use r*pe imagery to make monsters scary. Rather than have the monsters have that imagery cause Will created the monsters from his memory/imagination-and st is a story of Will healing from that trauma. SORRY- I disagree. Using the worst experiences of peoples’ lives (and triggering their trauma) for no real purpose- except to make their monsters scarier to the normal/general audience who haven’t gone through it so won’t be triggered like us - is MORE OFFENSIVE to victims! NOT LESS! At least to me.

Then there’s the people who say “c*a should never be talked about (in stories).” Which I disagree with. V*ctims have already been told by ab*ser’s and enablers of the ab*ser- to never talk about what happened to us . So it rubs A LOT of us the wrong way when people say this. Because (subconscious or not) you remind some of us of the people who used to hurt/silence us. People say this -simply for their convenience (like ab*sers) and cause deep down they’re uncomfortable with our existence and equate the despicable act to us the innocent v*ctim ...or just want to deny the horrible reality of the situation (like many enablers who deny the truth and hurt us because they don’t want to accept reality) . And 1) It brings us back to a time where they told us to NEVER talk about it- and makes us feel like we did something wrong when we didn’t! 2) Every psych professional says with-holding/keeping the ab*se a secret is detrimental to our mental health.

Plus, there’s a HUGE difference between sugarcoating/minimizing trauma or WORSE glamorizing, condoning, or romanticizing C*A in stories (ex: pretty little liars) VS showing how the action is wrong, causes trauma, but showing recovery and happiness is still possible for v*ctims. if the story shows how accurately traumatizing it is (instead of minimizing/glamorizing it)- it’s incredibly rare for that character to get a happy ending. Having a story about recovering from that type of trauma and finding happiness despite such hardships would be amazing for US survivors! We rarely get stories with a happy ending- it’s more harmful to us survivors to never see ourselves get happy endings in tv/film/books. How can some survivors (in a dark place) think there’s a light at the end of the tunnel- if it’s never shown?Also if Will has DID too- it’s good mental health rep, along with queer rep (and survivor’s rep.) All 3 groups rarely are treated well or get happy endings in media. A lot of people may feel more heard, seen, and a bit more hopeful for the future - If Will (and other characters) get a happy ending.

And even though st has many themes- like say homophobia. To try and hand-wave all the disturbing r*pe imagery away as ‘Will is just gay so the monsters are like that”. IS SOOOOOO offensive. Trigger warning for examples. I’m sorry what part of Max saying when Billy had c*nsensual s*x it’s “good screams” but when possessed by the mf he causes Heather to do “bad screams” read as gay???! Having the possessed ch*ke/dr*g people before throwing them in trunks (like it’s implied Lonnie did to Will -since Jonathan checked Lonnie’s trunk for Will in s1)?Tying their arms and legs up/ g*ging them and getting on top of them and saying “stay VERY still it’ll all be over soon”-before a monster shoves it’s tentacle into someone’s mouth and inserts a goo - just gay??? Similar to the sentient vine/shadow monster forcing itself down Will’s throat. Let alone Will saying things like “he made me do it”, “i felt it everywhere”, or being tied to a bed and screaming “help! stop! it hurts! let me go!” While Jonathan is the only one who’s visibly triggered by this and has to literally turn away and hug someone . Or barb, billy, and El spiting up a white liquid from their mouth (similar to will spitting up a slug and lying to his mother about it ).El/billy touching a suspicious looking slime with their hand and looking at the substance confused . El drawing Papa with 3 legs (the middle one being shorter) , trying to undress in front of the boys , and Benny saying “I think she’s been ab*sed or something”.The theme of ab*sive dads- brenner , Lonnie, and Neil . Even when the demogorgan (called in d&d the “deep father”/ in the show “a man without a face”) attacked Barb it’s chopped up with scenes of Nancy having c*nsensual sex (the monsters are doing the opposite symbolically). There’s way more examples but NO- to try and hand wave /equate ALL OF THIS to just “gay imagery” or an “a*ds metaphor” is WAY more problematic. And just offensive (specifically to gay people) than just admitting what it may actually represent. R*pe imagery and gay imagery is NOT THE SAME THING!

Also ST has never been a kid show- maybe rewatch the show and see the rating of tv-14 . Goodness sake- s1 has a st*ged su*icde, k*dnappings, m*rder, discussions of physics, h*mophobia, and s*x (with stancy in s1 & jancy in s2-s3). S2/3 discuss at their finalies recovering from tra*ma . S2 had gra*ic de*ths, a man causing a women br*in damage/ and faking her m*scarriage, and a gang of vigalantes k*lling criminals. s3 had critiques on capitalism /media/s*xism, many d*eaths, and questionable imagery like the prior seasons. The Duffers constantly reference movies & events from the 80s (capitalizing on 80s nostalgia /subverting 80s motifs that middle age people from that time remember)! Those people were their intended age demographic . Most 80s centric refs go over most kids’ heads (heck a lot went over my head too since I wasn’t alive in the 80s XD).The Duffers even said in the book “worlds turned upsidedown” “it’s not a kid’s show despite having kids”. And maybe it’s a coincidence but when Lucas in s3 hands Will the “devil’s baby” firework (a hint about Lonnie) he says “18 and over only.” Which idk is a weird/random af line unless it’s foreshadowing that the show will get darker about various themes- and maybe even change ratings.

I get people wishing nothing bad ever happened to Will or Jonathan. And being apprehensive and not trusting the Duffers to do such a story justice (cause it’s difficult to do). But personally i trust them to do so tastefully with tact and not be exp*itative, (overly gr*fic) or offensive to v*ctims. You can disagree and think the show is about something else (or not trust the Duffers)- but it’d be great if people could stop using these other messed up talking points. While trying to appear ‘(fake) woke’ and like they care for victims- cause we see through it that you really don’t.

Have a lovely day anon ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Update- I just really agreed with and appreciate the tags in this reblog

#tw: csa #tw:r*pe

54 notes · View notes

sincerelyravens · 3 years

Text

WIP WEDNESDAY

It’s that time of the week again. This time, it’s another excerpt from my Hogwarts AU universe but different. I hope you guys enjoy!

When she first started to question it, Engel was sitting in the Hufflepuff Common Room—a celebration party for one of the games, Hufflepuff vs. Ravenclaw she thought. The entire crowd of students seemed to be crammed into the small room, bumping into each other as they danced away or sitting on top of one of the couches. Somehow, as Isa and Kes headed off to get them all drinks, Engel found herself next to Lucas—the friend of Kes—who was leaning against the wall beside her.

Lucas was a Slytherin. In all reality, he had no business being in the Hufflepuff Common Room at such a late hour—even with the Slytherin dorms close, especially for a game that he hadn’t participated in. But, Lucas’s boyfriend—a tall Beater with coarse black curls—was a Hufflepuff and he was in the midst of a celebration with the other six members of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, hooting, and hollering. In about two minutes, he would stride over and interrupt their conversation, pressing a kiss to Lucas’s lips, before asking what they were talking about and Engel wouldn’t have an answer.

Right now, however, the question slipped from her lips easily, partially because of the abundance of low-calorie drinks she had mixed together—and subsequently drank, “How did you know?”

Tearing his eyes away from his boyfriend in the crowd of people, Lucas stared at her with a confused look in his eyes. “How did I know what?”

“That you were attracted to him?” Engel asked. Even as she said out loud, leaving it hanging in the air between the two of them, it felt like a silly question itself. Would someone be capable of telling you? Was that even a real question that could be asked? Or, was that one of those questions that you could never fully have an answer to?

The question seemed to stump Lucas as well because he stayed quiet at her side for one long, pounding heartbeat before he turned back to Engel and asked, “Do you mean like when did I know that I liked men?”

#skam nl #engel beekman #lucas van der heijden #hogwarts au #brennahogwartsau #brennawrites

22 notes · View notes

inmyarmswrappedin · 3 years

Note

do you think that wtfock would be as popular as it is now if skam nl had its s3? to be honest, seeing how the reaction from wtfock s3 was so fetishistic towards sobbe, we can assume that the same behaviour would apply to nl (i mean just look at vander stoffels, yikes). but seeing that wtfock is the most popular in its own country, maybe that means that it would still outshinned nl. but then again wtfock had all this extra energy from the fandom since it was the only remake airing at the time.

Hi anon! 🩹 I mean, I can only speculate, I don’t think there’s really a way to know what would’ve happened.

I think a VDH season would’ve been pretty generous with the sex scenes. I say this because I’m pretty sure I saw Isa’s side boob in the cabin trip sex scene. Once I was given smelling salts to get over my surprise (lmao), I compared it with the way Lisa Teige kept her bra on for all her sex scenes with Jonas, and specifically how she had on a t-shirt for the equivalent scene. Isa and Kes’ final scene similarly kept the sex, while passing on like 95% of the original dialogue. And I don’t really see the team treating VDH’s sexuality more chastely. I think fandom would’ve enjoyed this.

Plus the season would’ve kept the usual prettiness and ~aesthetics~ of Skam NL. And I prefer the NL soundtrack to the Wtfock one.

That said, I think how popular a Skam is in their home country doesn’t really correspond to how popular it is in English-speaking fandom. I say this because eskam was unarguably very popular in Spain, and like, all the girl squad actresses plus the actors for Lucas R, Joana and Alejandro are all verified on ig (none of the Wtfock actors are verified, not even the Kato actress who already had a fanbase beforehand), but English-speaking Evak fandom did its best to bury it.

Also, I have mentioned this before, but by the end of Robbe’s season, Robbe and Sander had less followers on ig than Matteo and David had by the end of Matteo’s. This is despite the fact that many racists and transphobes failed to support Matteo’s season. I think this happened for two reasons: the Golden Era of Skam remakes was over (it was like January-June 2019), and Robbe’s season made a couple mistakes like introducing Sander on week 3, and the gay bashing incident.

So I think if Skam NL had provided fanservice, had an appealing Even actor, and didn’t make any major fuck ups, they’d have been more popular than Robbe’s season.

#ask #wtfock #skam nl #Anonymous

22 notes · View notes

ghosttotheparty · 3 years

Text

while the world ends around us (make believe with me)

6. I can’t even leave my room so I keep pouring AO3

And I've been looking for someone to put up with my bullshit I can't even leave my bedroom so I keep pouring And I ain't seen a light of day since, well, that's not important It's been long - Feeling Whitney // Post Malone

Lucas actually wakes up this morning.

It’s nice. Much better than laying against his wall all through the night, his eyes stuck on his laptop, watching Netflix or Youtube, or on his sketchbook, watching his pencil or pen or paint trailing across the page, leaving lines and smudges in its wake. And then looking up blearily when he realises he can see across his dark room because the sun is peeking through his blinds.

Today he wakes up when his phone starts buzzing and chiming next to his head, half under his pillow. It startles him, and he gasps as his eyes fly open, sitting up and muttering, “Jesus…” as he shuts off his alarm and tosses it to the floor next to him. It clatters against the wood and he winces, looking up at his door and running a hand through his hair.

He grabs food from the kitchen and eats it during his first class, scribbling the homework on a piece of paper he finds on the floor and doodling flowers and eyes as he forgets to pay attention. The teacher's voice turns into white noise.

- - -

He drifts off again in another class, and wakes up to a chorus of voices saying “Thank you,” and “Goodbye.” He doesn’t bother joining them, instead just clicking the hang up button and dropping his head to his arm, sighing and closing his eyes for a second before pushing himself up and groaning.

It’s the third red button he’s pressed just today.

He thinks about how many he presses a day.

Five classes, five red buttons.

Five days a week.

For weeks and weeks.

And weeks.

Christ.

Lucas huffs and pushes himself to sit cross-legged in front of the computer. He pushes it out of his mind, the remembrance that this is… it. All he has. This and a few texts from Kes and Jayden, usually about school or other kids from school, often complaining. Usually complaining. Sometimes he gets texts from Isa, silly selfies or pictures of birds. She knows he likes birds. Sometimes he gets texts from Noah, pictures of his art, drawings and paintings and doodles, or texts from Janna, which are never expected but always make him laugh. Sometimes Liv texts him just to check in.

It.

Homework and classes and red buttons and once-in-a-while texts from people he doesn’t see anymore.

And Jens, he remembers as his phone buzzes. And he smiles, but he really shouldn’t, so he pushes it away as he reaches to the floor and grabs the phone, reading.

guess what i’m making… 🥚🍳👨🏻🍳

He lets the smile push its way back onto his face (there’s no one to see anyway) as he shakes his head.

you didn’t give me time to guess, dummy

He lays on his back and holds his phone above his head, sighing as the bubble appears on his screen.

i’m impatient

Lucas scoffs, shaking his head again.

anyway good morning 😌, Jens texts a few seconds later.

good morning 🌞, Lucas responds even though it’s not really that sunny out. how are you today

well i woke up to my sisters arm hitting me in the face and i just burned an egg so that’s just kind of how it’s going so far you?

Lucas smiles again.

pretty dry so far but who knows

Like it’s a trigger, Lucas’s door swings open loudly and he tilts his head back, looking at his father upside down.

“...Yes?”

“You have to do the dishes, yeah?” he says flatly.

“But I did them last night,” Lucas says, still holding his phone above his head. He doesn’t look at it, even as it gives a short buzz with Jens’s response.

“And I brought dinner for you.”

“You brought chicken home and I cooked it.”

It’s true. Lucas had to Google how to do it, and it was the blandest, driest chicken he’s ever had, but it sufficed. There was nothing else in the kitchen he could have made. Back home, there’s usually things in the cupboard to micwave.

“Lucas—” His dad pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes, huffing. Exasperated, like Lucas is the issue here. “Just do it.”

“Fine, whatever,” Lucas mutters, looking at his phone, but he doesn’t get to read the message before his dad snaps at him.

“Don’t whatever me,” he says sharply.

“Fine,” Lucas says, stopping him. “Yes. I will.”

He leaves without shutting Lucas’s door.

Lucas takes a second, huffing at the open hallway. He hates him. And he knows he Shouldn’t, because He’s His Father, but he can’t not. It’s his face. Even before Lucas knew about how much of a dick he is, his face told Lucas everything. Always angry, disappointed. Always bitter, like he tried to sue the universe and lost. His eyes always look pinched. Especially when he looks at Lucas.

He doesn’t know why, honestly. It’s not like he even really knows Lucas. Anything about Lucas that’s actually important. Not that Lucas would tell him anything important.

(He has a list of things he doesn’t ever plan on telling him. His being gay is the top one. He’s never heard his father talk about queer people, but he doesn’t have to to know that he’s probably a bigot. His art is another thing. He doesn’t want to listen to his father talk about how it’s not a Viable Career Option, or how it’s a Waste of Time.)

He looks at his phone after a second.

😔 boring days suck wanna call later and do hw together?

Lucas exhales, trying to sigh away his frustration.

yes ofc you said you can do math right?

He shuts the door (quietly) while he waits for Jens’s answer.

i’m a math genius call me fuckin newton

Lucas scoffs, shaking his head as he sits back on his mattress, leaning back so his head falls off the edge, upside down.

great so that means you’ll do my hw for me

Lucas bites his lip, trying to suppress the smile that appears in anticipation as Jens types.

hmmmm what’s in it for me?🤔

uhhhhh moral support

Lucas grins as you amaze me appears on his screen, followed by oh i can teach you math, which promptly makes him roll his eyes and reply with an exaggerated uuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhhh.

Jens replies with oop i gotta go, and then, as Lucas prepares to send the eye-rolling emoji, see you after school🙃.

Lucas sends the emoji anyway, along with you’re the worst.

A few seconds later, his phone buzzes with love you too <3 , and his lingering smile falters. He sits up, swallowing and setting the phone down.

Because the pause in him, the skipped beat of his heart, the way the words tug at him even as he reads and rereads and rereads them, even as his brain knows the irony, the playfulness, the mindlessness in Jens’s saying it, can only mean one thing, and he hates himself for it.

Lucas is fucked.

- - -

So he ignores it, of course. It can’t be happening. It can’t. He’s known Jens for a few days. There’s no reason for his stomach to flutter the way it does when he gets a text from him, or when his name lights up his computer screen on Google Meets.

“He-ey,” Jens sings when Lucas answers, and a smile flickers across Lucas’s face involuntarily.

“Hey.”

“How you doing?”

“Fine,” Lucas answers, neglecting to mention the rest of his day, which was absolutely not fine. The door slams are still ringing in his head. “You?”

“Eh.”

“Hm,” Lucas chuckles. “Hey, who's your maths teacher?”

“Clark,” Jens says, looking at Lucas with his pixelated eyes. Even glitchy and blurry, Lucas can see that he’s beautiful.

“Great,” he says, ignoring it. “Have you done homework for lesson seven?”

“I absolutely have not,” Jens chirps. “I can do it and show you how to solve the problems.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Mhmm.” Jens puckers his lips, nodding and furrowing his brows. “Mhmm, mhmm. Well. I could do it and send you the answers.”

“That sounds great,” Lucas says, sarcastically sweet.

Jens snickers, reaching past his laptop, and Lucas watches as the collar of his shirt falls, a section of his skin exposed before he sits back, pulling a messy notebook, loose papers hanging out of it, and calculator with him.

“Wanna read while I work?” Jens asks, oblivious to the heat in Lucas's chest.

“Oh, yeah, I can do that.”

Lucas barely even processes the words he reads to Jens, his brain somehow paying more attention to the quiet, hushed murmurs of numbers coming from Jens.

He hears Jens mutter, “Divide by six…” and click his tongue in thought a few times just as Lucas reads, “‘...like moths against the whispering and the champagne and the stars.’”

He listens to Jens intently, even though half (or maybe just a quarter) of his mind is on the book, and even though he only catches every few words. Some words, sixty, sixteen, seventy seven, are sharp and cut right through their connection. His murmurs are nearly completely unintelligible, but Lucas listens like he’s actually trying to learn something.

It’s not until Jens says, “Lu?” softly, that Lucas realises he’s stopped reading completely, the book fallen shut in his lap with his index finger holding the page loosely, and he startles, looking directly into Jens’s eyes. His face burns up at the nickname, and at the fact that he had been so enraptured by Jens muttering maths to himself that he had forgotten completely to read.

“I— Yeah, sorry,” he says, looking away and opening the book, hoping Jens can’t see how hot his face is.

“Why’d you stop?” A smile is spread across Jens’s face. Like he knows.

“I—” Lucas stutters again. “You seemed to focussed, I didn’t wanna distract you.”

“Aw.” Jens tilts his head. “That’s sweet.” There’s a pause, and he looks down, flipping a paper that’s out of Lucases sight, before he says, “I’m almost done, I can send you pictures after so do this one.”

“Yeah,” Lucas says, trying not to let out another stammer. His face burns again. He hadn’t realised how long he’d been listening.

Jens clicks his tongue as he thinks again, and Lucas hears the clicking of his calculator and the scratch of his pencil on paper.

“Add on both sides,” he says quietly, and then, “Oh, that’s not right,” flipping his pencil over to erase it.

Lucas snickers.

“Don’t you laugh at me,” Jens says, a smile playing at his lips. “You know you can’t do better.”

“You’re not wrong.”

When Jens finally finishes the problem (he has to try again two more times; he’d skipped the problem to leave it for the end when he’d started) he texts pictures of it to Lucas, and Lucas closes the book, folding the corner of the page.

He can feel Jens watching him as he copies down the answers.

“Number four is seventy three?” he says, zooming in on the photo.

“Thirteen,” Jens says, his voice softer than Lucas expected.

“Oh, that makes more sense.” Lucas writes it. “Why the hell do your ones look like sevens?”

“I don’t know,” Jen says defensively, making a face. “It’s never been a problem before.”

“It’s weird.” He’s met with silence. “If you’re making a face at me, I can’t see it.”

Jens lets out a laugh, and Lucas grins. If sunshine made a sound, it would be Jens’s laughter.

“How do you know me so well?” Jens asks, still laughing.

Lucas giggles, snorting and shaking his head as he looks up to see Jens’s face brightening even more.

“That was so cute,” Jens says lightly, and Lucas feels like he’s on fire.

“Shut up. What’s number seven? It’s cut off in the picture.”

“Oh, shit, sorry. That’s…” Jens’s brows furrow. “Six, four… one—”

“You thought it was a seven, didn’t you?”

“Shut up. One point three two.”

“Thank you-u-u.”

Jens is quiet as Lucas copies the rest of the answers. He shakes his head at how messy Jens’s work is, shocked and honestly impressed with how his brian works, numbers and lines scattered across the page, the answers in neat, little boxes.

“Do any new drawings?” Jens asks abruptly as Lucas copies the last one.

“Huh?”

“Have you drawn anything new?”

“Uh..” Lucas finishes writing the final answer and boxing it like Jens’s. “Yes?”

“Oh?” When he looks up, Jens is resting his chin on his hands, smiling. “Tell me.”

Lucas pauses, biting his lip. He’s only done one, and it’s ripped and crumpled and shredded in the corner of his room in a plastic bin.

“I did one, but it was shit, so it’s in the trash—”

“What was it?”

“Uh, that’s not important.”

“...Okay.” He says it softly. Lucas is grateful. “Can you show me a drawing? Or like a sketch, or…”

Lucas smiles. Jens is clearly out of his element. But he’s trying.

“I might have a picture,” he says, moving the maths homework away. “Most of my sketchbooks are still in boxes.”

“You haven’t unpacked yet?” Jens asks as Lucas scrolls though his camera roll, photos of Utrecht mainly, with a few of homework and screenshots of messages from the guys scattered in there.

“No,” he says simply.

“Why?”

“Eh.” Lucas finds one of a drawing and looks at it, contemplating. It’s a sketch of Noah that he did a little after moving. He’d meant to send it to him, even considered mailing it with a little letter and some Antwerp souvenirs like a post card or something, but he never did. He sends it to Jens. “I don’t really plan on staying here that long, just until this summer.”

“Oh. Oh, woah.”

Lucas beams without wanting to, watching Jens’s head duck as he looks at his phone.

“That’s so good, Lucas.”

“Thank you,” Lucas responds, his voice small. He shifts in his seat on the mattress, fidgeting as Jens looks up at him.

“That’s so good.”

“Who is it?” Jens looks back down, moving his fingers across the screen, and Lucas can tell he’s zooming in on the photo.

“My friend from Utrecht, he’s an artist too.”

“Oh!” Jens looks up again. “Speaking of artists. I have a friend I think you’ll like.”

“You think I’ll like him because he’s an artist?”

Jens drops his phone.

“I think you’ll like him because he’s a cool guy, and you already have something in common.”

“Okay, that’s fair.”

“You wanna meet him?” Jens asks, almost excitedly.

Lucas stares at him, tilting his head.

“Not in person,” Jens says. “Obviously.” He makes a face. “Sometimes we have, like, a group Zoom call with the guys, do you wanna join sometime?”

Lucas pauses, hoping Jens can see the despair in his face.

The guys.

“Uh— Yeah, why not?”

Jens beams.

It makes the screen glow brighter.

#hes in looooooove #:')#remember to drink water yall #and eat something #and take your meds #stretch your wrists and neck #i love you #<3 #wtfock #skam nl #wtfock fic #skam nl fic #jens stoffels #lucas van der heijden #vds #van der stoffels #while the world ends around us

11 notes · View notes

chappedandfadedvds · 3 years

Text

Jan 22nd, Friday 18:30

note:

I know you just want to read, but I would just like to say that I am really curious to know how many see these posts. so... if you read this and enjoyed this, no matter when you stumbled upon this story of mine:

could you maybe just leave a like on this one?

you don’t have to, no worries. and if it is just the same names, that are already showing me their love through likes and retweets, then that is absolutely fine as well. Because I wrote this for you great souls, who enganged and made me believe that I could finish this.

thank you!

oh and if you liked my writing thus far, please check the last masterpost for this week, which I’ll post later.

__ __ __

Faint music in the background. Them on the bed, stretched out on top of the blankets. On their backs, phones in hands. Each of them caught up in their own digital world as they almost inaudible hummed along the lyrics of the song.

All the beats fell in between the silence that they shared.

Jens stared a little longer at Jana’s answer. He had felt worse with each day that had passed without his reply, which had only taken him a moment of his time, yet so much more. He turned off the screen, his phone placed next to him, before he turned his head to look at Lucas.

The younger boy was still occupied. His fingers typing away, his lips mouthing words, that Jens couldn’t hear. He had missed this so much. Had yearned to wake up again next to this boy that had struck him one bleak october morning. Remarkable how fast he had fallen, how gentle the landing had been in the end. So easy to accept and cherish.

The harder it had hurt to loose the thight grasp on him. Though perhaps he never truly had.

They didn’t even had a plan from here on out. Jens had brought it up on a call two nights ago, but had been cut off by the younger boy. The plan is to hold my hand tomorrow and never let go, Lucas had told him. The smile present in the soft pitch of his voice. Mellow. Calming.

Enough to stop his worry for a little while.

Lucas sighed and lowered his phone to his chest. The moment he faced Jens, his lips curled up and his eyes crinkled at it’s corners, the older boy forgot to breath. Still, after all these weeks.

„Hey, there. You good?“

It was barely above a whisper, yet it felt intrusive, too loud.

„Good enough.“ Jens replied vague, his gaze dropped in the second he spoke, before he was searching for deep blue eyes again. Perhaps this was his ocean to devote himself to.

„Well, Ies texted me that they should be here in, like, half an hour. I can still take them to my place. In case you don’t feel to well and need some quiet. That’s fine.“

„No, don’t worry. I’d rather have you here.“

Lucas huffed amsued, as he shifted closer, leaning in to kiss the older boy, eager to feel the lips on his. He tasted like bitter tea. And Jens loved it only for the times he got to taste it on Lucas’s tongue.

„Ies is so dumb though.“ The younger boy said, as he couldn’t help but chuckle and break off their kiss. Only to press his lips back with even more force a second later. Jens’s fingers tangled in brown locks of hair, as a hand run over his bare chest under his shirt.

„What?“ Jens whispered when he had halted for a moment to gasp for much needed air. He felt like he had missed a part of a conversation, trying to push away the pleasent fog clouding his senses.

„As if we would just make out for hours, when Lotte is around.“

„Sorry, what?“

„That’s what she implied when she texted me. Perhaps a bit more than just making out.“ Lucas explained. His expression graced by a brilliant smirk that needed to be kissed off his face, Jens thought. However it actually made him realise that Isa may not have been so wrong after all. And that wasn’t quite something he wanted in his mind right now.

He threw his head back onto the mattress, his eyes back on the ceiling. He needed his heart to calm and his blood to stop rushing down his vains. The tips of his fingers burning.

The sound of broken glass certainly did the trick. Jens suddenly sobered from his longing thoughts, as he instantly sat in bed, straightened up, listening past the music and past the rustling of sheets from Lucas moving behind him.

„JENS! JEEENS!“ The whine that followed already closed in as feet stomped up the stairs in rapid motion.

Alarms went off in his head, expecting the worse. The imagine of his mom, on the floor, hand bloodied and in tears, inmidst shards of glass and red drops.

He was already on his feet a second later, and by the door in a heartbeat after, quick to push it open.

His sister, almost infront of him, had just reached the last step. She looked fine. Unharmed. And yet a little shaken, while big eyes were staring at him in shock.

„Are you okay? What happened?“ Jens asked, a little more at ease with the knowledge that it probably wasn’t as bad as he had feared.

„I pushed the glass of the table and it broke and spilled all the juice over my homework before it fell. And now I have to write it all again.“

Jens wasn’t sure if he wanted to cry or laugh at the near heart attack and panic that he had been through just a moment earlier. Perhaps he wanted to just scold Lotte for scarying him that much.

But his little sister still looked rather frightened and close to tears herself, even if it only stemmed from her ruined homework.

He took a deep breath, not trusting his voice to sound reassuring otherwise.

„Alright. I’ll be down in a sec. Maybe you can already get the mob from the bathroom, so we can clean this before Kes and Isa are here?“ Jens suggested and watched his sister trotting back downstairs, after she had nodded and agreed.

Lucas’s arms wrapped around his middle, as he pressed his body against Jens’s back, The younger boy rested his chin on his shoulder, not without dotting his neck with a dozen tender kisses.

„This child, I swear.“ Jens laughed lightly, already feeling better again. The last couple of weeks had proven to have been a constant up and down. He could only hope that it would begin to settle now that he believed to have find some security in his friend’s and Lucas’s company. He would be fine.

Not now. Perhaps not next month. But one day.

„Okay then, let’s get this done.“ Lucas decided, while he pushed Jens forward and followed Lotte down. The two boys even managed to throw a brief glance into the mirror by the entrance, sorting their hair and smoothing their clothes out. To look decent, as the younger boy had put it.

It had made Jens look at him with a confused expression, only to be met by a shaking head and a soft giggle.

Sometimes he didn’t understand his boyfriend. And he wasn’t sure, if he ever could. He hoped he would, though.

„Look, it’s all gone.“ Lotte cried in her despair, as she hold up the three sheets of paper, dripping in apple juice. Jens had to agree, that this didn’t looked too good for her, but his main concern laid with the glass on the floor.

So while he was busy to clean that mess to their feet, Lucas and Lotte put their attention towards the table and his sister’s scattered school supplies.

They had gotten it done just in time. Right before the doorbell rang. The mop was put back. The papers on the heater next to the sofa. To hopefully dry them, and leave at least the text readable enough to copy from later.

„Bonsoir!“

The cheery voice from Isa hit them, as soon as they had opened the door. Kes next to her shouldering two large bags, while he somehow still waved and said his own greetings with a breathless smile.

„You are here!“ Lucas declared just as excited, while ushered his two best friends in. Jens was glad he had agreed to have them all spend the weekend together. He adored to see his boyfriend this joyous.

Jens was briefly enwrapped in a loving embrace by the girl, until Lotte shouted her name. And in an instant he had been forgotten.

„Aw there she is, my favourite eight-year-old.“ Isa proclaimed right next to him, before she scooped up Lotte into her arms. Both of them busy talking in rapid fire, about how much they had looked forwards to this.

A hand on his shoulder that pulled him into another hug, ripped his eyes away from the two girls. Kes had apparently rid himself from the weight of the luggage to be finally able to arrive fully and greet Jens personally. It was a little more than that, though.

„You are lucky, that this stupid boy loves you so much. I was this close to come and beat you up last weekend.“ Kes said, while he only left the tiniest space between his thumb and index finger as he gestured to Jens just how narrow he had escaped his fate, his tone light and playful. Jens, however, felt rather assured that there wasn’t an ounce of a lie to be detected behind those words.

He fortunately managed to smile through the realisation, vowing himself to better not fuck up ever again in the future.

„What, you love me? Cringe.“ Jens decided to joke instead, a cocky smirk stretched across his face. He turned his head towards Lucas, who immediately flipped him off without any hesitation.

„No. I don’t. Kes lied.“

„Shit, that hurts.“ Jens pouted in jest, his eyes blinking up at the grinning boy next to Isa.

„It should.“

That was all that Lucas had replied, before the five of them headed into the living room. All in order to give the newly arrived couple a quick tour of the house. Lotte darting right to the front to take on the role of the guide, eager to give too many details about everything that caught her eyes.

„I love you so much.“ Lucas had said a little later, when they followed the other three up the stairs, with a bit of distance between them. His fingers quick to grab Jens’s hand into his to squeeze them for emphasis.

Jens stopped them halfway up, stealing a kiss and then also a second.

One day he would feel like this, right here in this moment, at any given time. Be it when the sun was up and Lotte was ignoring him in her room, or when the night covered him in darkness and he would be missing their mom. One day he would be okay.

„I know,“ he whispered, „I love you, too.“

-End of Chapped And Faded (Jens’s Season)-

__ __ __ tagged: @odi-et-amo85, @tayspots

last note:

I can’t believe that for thirteen full weeks I kept writing and uploading this story. I have always written and almost never had found the energy or determination to finish even one of my projects.

this wasn’t easy to do, but it was all worth it to force myself through some days of it.

I did this.

I hope you all don’t mind, if I just take this moment to be proud of myself.

And I hope the more that this end is satisfactory to you.

I love you all.

Thank you.

Oh and I may have a little bonus clip on sunday.

I need to revise it, but I definitely want to take a day off.

It’s gonna jump a bit forward, but it gives a little idea on where they are heading.

#week 13 #wtfock #skam #vds #jens stoffels #lucas van der heijden #chapped and faded #the last clip #the end #i did it #wow

17 notes · View notes

ravenbrenna09 · 4 years

Text

Jij Verliest - Chapter Five: Clip 5

...

master list previous

...

Woensdag 21:45

All throughout the day, Robbe kept reaching for his cell phone.

Earlier in the morning, he had reached for his phone, hoping and praying that it would somehow start working again, that all it needed was to dry out, but that hadn’t been the case. It wouldn’t turn on and Robbe was certain that it wouldn’t budge. Once he got back to Antwerp, he would get a new phone. It was no big deal. But Robbe still reached for his phone, hoped with all of his might that it would flip on, and he could text Sander.

But his phone didn’t respond and the black screen taunted Robbe with its blatant inactivity.

To Robbe’s immense relief, Jens let him use his phone to check in with his mama the next morning. Even though she insisted that she was fine with him being away, Robbe still worried all the same and wanted to make sure that she was all right. His mama had teased Robbe lovingly and made Jens promise to watch out for him in the same breath.

Before Robbe surrendered the phone back to its owner, he sent a quick message off to Sander, wishing him a good morning. Robbe didn’t expect anything back at least for a while. It was likely that he was already at the parlor, hard at work, and wouldn’t look at his phone until later. After waiting for several seconds, Robbe handed the phone back over to Jens, who slipped it into his pocket without looking, before he continued his conversation with Kes.

Unlike his other friends, who would’ve teased him immensely, Jens didn’t bat an eye at Robbe messaging someone on his Instagram. When he handed over the phone, Robbe had seen the quiet question in his eyes but Jens didn’t ask. He didn’t push the information out of him. Jens would wait until Robbe was ready to tell. The only thing that Jens had insisted on was not logging out of his account, on the basis of him being unable to remember his password. Robbe had teased him but he did as he was told.

Without his phone, the day flew by in a breeze. Once the group had breakfast—made especially by Kes—they had gone out to the carnival on the pier. Naturally, Robbe had won all of the carnival games with Jayden on his heel, while Aaron spent a lot of money on food. After riding a few rides, they headed back to the beach house and immediately went surfing. Robbe had beat them all to the ocean, scoring the first wave, and fell into the water just as much as the rest of them.

But as he watched his friends argue over who was next, Robbe couldn’t stop his brain from thinking about Sander and wishing he were here to hang out with them.

Once the sun dipped beneath the horizon, they all climbed out of the ocean and took turns in the shower. Kes headed into the kitchen to cook, followed closely by Moyo and Lucas, and the rest of them went outside. While Jayden and Aaron smoked a joint with Jens, Robbe started a fire, lightly adding tissues to kindle the spark. Robbe leaned back and braced himself against the sand, keeping his eyes on the center of the fire.

When Jens’ phone hit his lap, Robbe jumped three feet in the air. His best friend laughed loudly as he sat down in the sand next to him. As Robbe forced his heart rate back down to acceptable levels, Jayden asked, “Are you okay, Robbe?”

Robbe nodded. “I’m good, Jayden.”

Jayden cackled, turning back to the laughing Aaron to continue their conversation.

“Thanks for the heads up,” Robbe said. His comment was directed toward Jens, who was laughing behind his hand. Unable to form a coherent sentence, Jens simply shrugged, falling back further into laughter in the sand. Robbe turned to the phone that he collected from the sand. Robbe expected to see a text from his mother, but his heart fluttered faster at the instagram notification.

earthlingoddity sent you a message

Robbe opened it instantaneously.

earthlingoddity: It’s ‘good evening’ now, isn’t it?

“Thanks,” Robbe said.

“No problem,” Jens said. He sat up in the sand and crossed his legs beneath him. “I didn’t realize that you were seeing Sander.” Robbe bit down on his lip, glancing over at Jens. Seeing the look, Jens added, “You don’t have to tell me anything else. I’m just being nosy.”

Robbe laughed before saying, “Yeah, I’m seeing Sander.” Jens smiled over at him. “I don’t know if you remember. But he was the guy that I was talking to at the bar where we saw Thomas.”

“No, I don’t remember,” Jens said. “Well, I remember you talking to someone. I just don’t remember it being Sander.”

Robbe nodded. “Anyway, when he showed up with Senne and Noor the night we met Jana and the girls, we talked outside and smoked. Then I ran into him at a café the next day. After that, we started talking on Instagram and meeting up.”

Jens nodded. “If you don’t mind me asking, why haven’t you mentioned him before?” Jens asked. He raised and tilted his head to the side. “I mean, we all know Sander and he’s a pretty good guy. When you started dating Thomas, we heard all about him.”

“That’s why,” Robbe said, letting out a sigh. Jens turned to him, confused, and Robbe continued. “When Thomas and I started dating, our relationship felt so real and I couldn’t wait to introduce you and the Broerrrs and the flatshare to him. But, with Sander…” Robbe trailed off, biting down on his lip.

Stripped of everything else, Robbe’s relationship with Thomas was safe. In the early months of their relationship, Thomas had been warm and open. He talked about his sister’s struggles and his own. Thomas got along with his mom and most of his friends, save Jens, in the final months of their relationship. Whenever they were together, Thomas made Robbe feel safe and warm and accepted.

But with Sander, Robbe still felt all of those things. The only exception was Sander made him feel like that all the time. From the first moment that Sander had seen him outside that bar, he had been able to look past Robbe’s defenses and see the real him hidden behind the wall. Even through texts, he saw Robbe and listened to what he needed and did his best help him. It was intense and enlightening. Their relationship, still in the newfound stages, was far more accepting and warm than his relationship with Thomas.

And it thrilled and terrified Robbe in one certain swoop of his stomach.

“It’s so much more intense,” Robbe said, turning to Jens. “In like, every good way that you could possibly think of. But…” Robbe trailed off again, turning to the fire. “I just don’t want to rush things this time. With Thomas, I rushed into it because it felt real and I felt accepted. With Sander, I feel all that and so much more and I just don’t want to fuck it up.”

“That’s okay, Robbe,” Jens said, patting his shoulder. His expression turned serious as he continued, “And you’re not going to fuck it up. If you want to take things slow, you can take it as slow as you need to.”

Robbe nodded. “Thanks, Jens.”

“You’re welcome,” Jens said, smiling.

Robbe turned back toward the fire, his eyes trained on the embers. In the past few minutes, it had grown stronger than ever, nearly overcoming the twigs that he had gathered. On the opposite side of the fire, Moyo towered over Aaron and Jayden, holding the withering joint to his lips. Robbe could still see Kes in the kitchen, working at something on the stove, and Lucas walked to the two of them, running a tired hand through his hair.

Without hesitation, Lucas sunk down into the sand on Jens’s other side. Jens wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him against his chest. Lucas sunk into his boyfriend’s grasp, resting his head against his chest and let out a sigh. Robbe could see the strained look on his face and he wondered, fleetingly, if everything was okay. However, Robbe could see that Lucas didn’t want to talk about it. Trying to force a smile, Lucas asked, “What are you talking about?”

“Boys,” Robbe deadpanned.

Somehow, a bright grin spread across Lucas’s face, brightening his features. The mere movement was enough to return one to Jens’s face as he cuddled Lucas further against his chest. Grinning over at Robbe with something akin to his Cheshire-Cat-Grin, Lucas said, “Oh! My favorite! Are we finally talking about your mystery guy yet or is he still a mystery?”

“He’s still a mystery,” Robbe said. “But, hopefully, he won’t be a mystery for much longer.”

“Good,” Lucas said. “I’ve been wanting to meet the new guy you’re so crazy about.”

...

Woensdag 21:49

#wtfock #wtfam #brenna writes #jij verliest fic #sobbe #robbe ijzermans #sander driesen #rosander #fanfiction #jens stoffels #jayden #aaron jacobs #lucas van der heijden #vds #van der stoffels #the beach house #is the hotel from wtfock or the house from nl?#who knows?

96 notes · View notes

all-things-skam · 3 years

Text

Jens’ season | Chapter ten (finale)

Saturday, March 7th

They arrived late in Utrecht. Or, early.

Lucas’ father had refused to make the drive but allowed him to go and take the train if he wanted to. Jens get that they were divorced, but still. She was his ex-wife, the mother of his child. She must still have a place in his heart.

Apparently not.

Lucas had been fidgety and tense during the whole train ride, biting his lip and checking his phone every ten seconds in case there were any updates from his dad - who was in contact with the clinic -, but there weren’t.

Jens felt helpless. He didn’t know what to do or even say, having never been in this situation before. A part of him wanted to comfort Lucas, tell him everything’s going to be okay, but he wasn’t a psychiatrist nor a doctor. He didn’t know shit.

So, he stayed quiet, his head pressed against the cold window of the train, his right hand holding onto Lucas’ tightly.

When they got to the train station, someone was there to pick them up. He had blond hair and a darker beard, and seemed older than them. An old friend, Lucas said. He dropped the two teenagers at the clinic and told Lucas to call him if he needed a ride before driving off.

The door of the clinic was unlocked despite being the middle of the night. They walked in and the lady at the front desk frowned, seeing Jens and Lucas walking into the building. ‘’Hello. How may I help you?’’

‘’My...my mom’s been admitted here a few hours ago,’’ Lucas replied, his voice strained. ‘’I’m here to see her.’’

‘’I’m sorry, visits have ended hours ago. You should come back in the morning-’’

Alas, Lucas wasn’t taking no for answer tonight. He was scared and worried for his mother and wouldn’t calm down until he sees her.

‘’No! I took a train all the way here. I have to see her,’’ he insisted, hoping the woman will make an exception for him. ‘’She needs me, I- Please.’’

Still hesitating, the desk lady glanced at them, noticing the tired look on their faces and the backpack on Lucas’ shoulder and sighed, giving in. ‘’Patient name?’’

‘’Lieke Van Der Heijden.’’

She typed in the name in her computer, giving Lucas an apologetic look when reading his mother’s file. ‘’I can’t let you go in the room past visiting hours. But, I’ll call up the psychiatrist on shift and he’ll be able to give you details about your mother.’’

You could see on Lucas’ face that he wasn’t completely satisfied with the bargain, but it was better than nothing.

Jens smiled at the woman. ‘’Thank you.’’

Jens didn’t go in.

He waited on a couch in the waiting area of the clinic while Lucas went to talk with the doctor, not wanting to intrude Mrs. Van Der Heijden’s privacy. While Lucas wanted him by his side at the clinic, it didn’t mean Jens had to be all up in their businesses. And, if Lucas needed him, he’ll come to him.

Having nothing else to do, Jens checked his phone, seeing the group chat blowing up with unread messages and a few personal ones from Robbe, asking what was going on and where the hell he and Lucas went.

Did you guy ditch us to fuck? Moyo had bluntly asked.

In another situation, Jens would’ve rolled his eyes and laughed - maybe he would’ve told him to fuck off -, but not tonight. Instead, he he simply told them that Lucas had a family emergency and had to go home - sparing them the whole details for privacy purpose.

Half an hour later, Lucas returned and filled the empty seat beside Jens. His hair was a mess from touching them so much - a habit he picked up when he was stressed or anxious. Jens slipped his phone back in his pocket, giving his attention to his boyfriend.

''How is she?''

''Sedated,'' Lucas responded, forgetting to laugh at his own bad joke. ''Sorry.''

Jens shook his head. ''It's okay.''

‘’A neighbor called the cops. They said she was acting like a lunatic, throwing out my father's last belongings on her porch since 6am and was planning to redecorate the whole house to 'clean it from his bad energy'. The doctor said it was a psychotic episode. She hasn't been taking her meds for a few weeks.’’

Lucas's parents' divorce was messy and heartbreaking. She truly loved Lucas' father - he was her high school lover -, but the man didn't want anything to do with her after being diagnosed although he had vowed to love her in sickness and health.

‘’I don't understand. She sounded very lucid last week on the phone. I should’ve gone home-’’

Shaking his head, Jens didn’t let him finish. ‘’Don’t do that. Don’t guilt yourself for something you can’t change. You’re here, now. It’s all that matters.’’

‘’If I had been here, I could’ve made sure she was taking her medication. I always do. Sometimes, she forget...and other times, she doesn’t want to take them. When she’s off her medication for too long, things gets bad and she has psychotic episodes. Dad and I tried to have someone from the clinic to come and check up on her, but it’s really expensive and we can’t afford that. That’s what he said. Maybe he doesn't want to pay for her, I don’t know.’’

It was simply an assumption, but Jens hoped it wasn't true. If so, Mr. Van der Heijden was a very shitty person.

Feeling a wave of tiredness hit him, Jens glanced at the clock in the waiting room and then to Lucas who's head was resting on his shoulder, trying to control his anxious riddled brain.

‘’It’s late. Should we head...home? You need sleep.’’

Lucas shook his head stubbornly. ‘’No. I need to stay here. I need to be there when my mom will wake up.’’

''The clinic had made an exception for a short visit and a conversation with the doctor. You'll have to wait till visiting hours to see her. We can't wait seven hours here.''

The night had been long and stressful and Jens couldn't wait to head to bed. He understood Lucas' want to stay at the clinic, but sleeping in those uncomfortable waiting chair would only make him feel sore and shitty in the morning. Lucas needed rest. Good rest.

‘’They gave her medication. She’ll be out for a couple more hours. We’ll come back in the morning.’’

‘’But-’’

‘’We can ask the office lady to call you when your mom is awake. How about that?’’

To Jens' relief, Lucas agreed.

It was almost 10am when the doorbell rang, stirring Jens from his deep, dreamless sleep. He groaned, the noise keeping going again and again - unable to ignore it. Who the hell could be at the door so early? He almost yelled at Lotte to go open, but remembered he was in Utrecht, at Lucas' house.

Fighting sleep, Jens opened his eyes - keeping them open was the real challenge here - and saw Lucas still fast asleep beside him. He smiled, soft snores coming from Lucas' slightly parted lips. It took Lucas over an hour to fall asleep this morning, constantly checking his phone every five minutes to see if he had any missed calls from the clinic. Jens had pulled him into his arms and played with his hair, knowing it worked as a kid when his mom would do it.

Now, the doorbell was getting on Jens' nerves and he wanted it to stop.

Carefully removing himself from Lucas' grasp, Jens got up and searched for his pants from yesterday, not about to answer the door in his boxers. He was barely awake enough to function as he walked down the hallway to get to the door, not caring that he was looking like a mess right now. That’s what a middle of the night bus ride and falling asleep at 4am does to you.

Before opening the door, Jens checked through the peephole and saw a short girl with curly hair and a boy with darker skin and messy hair whom he recognized as Isa and Kes.

A frown formed on Isa’s forehead when the door opened, confused why someone else was answering and not her friend. ‘’Who are you? Where’s Luc?’’

‘’Erm, I’m Jens. You’re Isa, right?’’

She nodded slowly, still a bit confused until she realized who Jens was. ‘’Oh my god! You’re Luc’ boyfriend aren't you?’’

Jens nodded, eyes squinting at the brightness outside. ‘’Does Luc knows you were coming? Did he tell you about-’’ He interrupted himself, uncertain if Isa and Kes knew about Mrs. Van der Heijden’s mental illness.

Isa hummed. '‘Yeah. I figured he’d be here in the morning.’’

Jens didn’t have to invite them in, the two walking right in and making themself home in the living room.

‘’Where’s Luc?’’ Kes asked, looking around for his best friend.

‘’He’s sleeping. The night has been long.’’

Kes hummed. ‘’How is he?’’

‘’Not good,’’ Jens honestly responded as he sat down in the armchair.

The trio didn't have time to engage in much of a conversation, footsteps coming from the hallway a few minutes after sitting down. They tried to be quiet to let Lucas sleep some more, but failed. Or, maybe it was the emptiness in the bad that woke him?

‘’What are you guys doing here?’’ Lucas asked, seeing his friends and boyfriend in the living room. He was wearing Jens' hoodie, finding the comfort he lacked of when he woke up to an empty bed.

Isa stood, meeting Lucas halfway and pulled him into a hug. He hugged her back before going to sit with Jens in the armchair, unbothered by his friends' presence.

Kes, on the other hand, wasn't as nice as Isa and looked at Lucas with hard eyes laced with deception. ‘’Why didn’t you tell me about your mom? I had to learn from Isa who heard it from Liv who was talking with Ralf. We’re best friends, Luc.’’

‘’Sorry you weren’t the first thing on my mind when my dad called me to say my mom was in a clinic.''

Kes sighed, changing his tone. ‘’You know I didn’t mean it like that...’’

‘’How is she?’’ Isa asked, switching the conversation.

‘’She’s in a clinic, Isa. How well can she be?’’ Lucas responded, his tone a little too harsh.

Unhappy with the way he spoke to his friend, Jens put han hand on Lucas’ thigh, a silent way to tell him to not get worked up. Even if Isa’s question was stupid to him, it wasn't a reason to talk to his friends like that. They came here because they cared about Lucas and his mom, not to get yelled at.

''Have you seen her?'' Kes asked, blaming Lucas' attitude on stress and morning grumpiness.

''No. Visiting hours were over long ago. I'll be going today.''

''Do you need us to come with?''

Although Kes' offer was nice, Lucas already had an emotional support. ''No. Jens is here.'' He leaned into Jens' chest and Jens kissed Lucas' shoulder over the hoodie, confirming his words.

‘’Tell your mom we say hi, okay?’’ Kes said.

‘’Will do.’’

Sunday, March 8th

The past two days had been difficult and emotional for Lucas - and Jens, by bias.

Lucas had spent hours at the clinic at his mom's bedside, just sitting there and watching her sleep most of the time, too high on meds to stay awake. Sometimes, she'd talk to him, but never for long. She was happy that her son was here, but also felt guilty that he had to come home just because she went off her meds again. Lucas denied her wrong assumptions and promised her that he had come here on his free will, that he wanted to be with her, but she still insisted that she was disrupting her son's life and being a burden to him like she was to his father. Lucas knew it was the depression and meds talking, but it still hurt.

When Lucas left his mother's room with tears in his eyes, Jens decided it was enough for the day. Taking care of someone didn't mean allowing them to disturb your own mental health. You need to know when to take some space from them, even if it's just for a few hours.

Back at Lucas', Jens made them dinner while Lucas took a shower. He was a terrible cook so pastas will have to do - not that there was a lot of options to cook with in the pantries and fridge. Ten minutes later, Lucas came out of his shower and Jens brought the bowls of pastas to the living room.

''Talk to me. I need a distraction.''

''Okay...'' Jens racked his brain, trying to think of something to talk about when he remembered that he hadn't told Lucas about the move yet. ''My parents are separating. My mom, sister and I will be moving.''

By the look on his boyfriend's face, Jens realized he should have added more details in the first place. Now, Lucas must be thinking he's moving from Antwerp. He was supposed to distract him, not make him sadder. Well done, Jens...

He shook his head, swallowing his bite of pasta. ''I'm not changing school, don't worry. We are just moving to a new neighborhood where the apartments are cheaper.''

Relief washed over Lucas' face. ''Hopefully closer to mine.'' He smirked and Jens hummed.

They lived relatively close to each other, but they could be closer. Living closer would mean easily meeting up in the middle of the night when one of them couldn't fall asleep instead of texting or take the bus together to school.

''That would be nice, wouldn't it?''

Lucas nodded before snickering. ''As if we don't see each other almost every day already.''

Jens laughed. ''Wanna watch a movie?''

The brunet shrugged. ''If you want.''

''Any preferences?''

''No, you can choose.''

''You trust my movie taste? Be careful what you wish for. We might end up watching the Notebook or some other chick flick shit.''

A small smile curved on Lucas' lips for the first time since Friday and Jens took it as a win.

''I know I must not be fun to be around right now and this probably isn't the weekend you had planned, but I...I’m just not in the mood to do anything. All I can think about it my mom and-’’

Jens shook his head, understanding. ‘’It’s okay. I don’t mind. I like chill nights too. As long as I’m with you.’’

Lucas wrinkled his face in disgust. ‘’Ew. Don’t say that. I’m gonna vomit.’’

‘’You don’t like cheesy?’’

‘’No. Jens?’’ He hummed in response, but didn’t budge. ’’You might think that you aren’t helping, but you are. By making sure I get enough sleep, eat and don’t get stuck in my head too much. You distract me with movies and cuddles - lots of cuddles. All of this helps me a lot, I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend.’’

''Look who's the cheesy one, now!''

''Shut up. This was supposed to be cute, but you ruined it...''

Monday, March 9th

Goodbyes, even temporary ones, always hurt.

Jens’ arms were around Lucas, holding him tight, dreading the moment they’ll have to part. If it hadn't been for his mother’s request, Jens would’ve stayed longer, but Fenna wasn’t too happy to learn that her son had left the country without any warnings and skipped school. She understood the situation, sending well wishes to Lucas and his mom, but still wanted him to come home.

Lucas sighed, sad blue eyes looking at Jens. ‘’I don’t want you to go.’’

Give it to Jens and Lucas to make their departures dramatic and seem like they were parting for war when it was only a couple days. They had been standing at the train station for half an hour, clinging to each other and being one of those couples.

‘’I don’t want to either, but I can’t disobey my mom. She’s already mad that I left without warning. Lucky for me, she loves you or else I’d be grounded for weeks.’’

Lucas smiled before pushing his face in Jens’ shirt, not caring that he was behaving like a baby at the train station. ‘’I’ll miss you,’’ he said quietly.

‘’That’s why I gave you my hoodie. It’ll feel like I’m with you when you close your eyes,’’ Jens explained. He kissed Lucas’ temple, his face hidden from view.

‘’I still prefer the real thing...’’

‘’Me too,’’ Jens agreed. ‘’But, it’ll have to do for now.’’

A voice echoed through the station, warning travelers of the trains that will be leaving soon and, sadly for them, Jens’ train was in the list. Lucas recognized the number and clutched the back of his boyfriend’s shirt, refusing to let go.

''My train is here,'' Jens announced, trying remove Lucas's grip from him but also not wanting to part either.

Tuesday, March 10th

After dinner, Jens sat on the floor, surrounded by the mess of his bedroom. He was folding and packing clothes, getting ready for the move when a text from Lucas came in and distracted him, abandoning the pile of clothes.

Lucas: I don’t know when I’ll come back

Jens: That’s okay. Take your time. Your mom needs you. I’ll be here waiting ❤

Lucky for him, his mom was there to keep her children on track with the packing. They were moving the following Friday and the whole house had to be packed up. It was a small delay, but doable if everyone helped.

''Have you started packing yet?''

''Yes.''

Fenna looked around the room and raised an eyebrow, not seeing much progress since she last came here to check - which was two hours ago. ''Quit talking to Lucas and pack your bedroom, it won't pack itself. Even Lotte has started putting her toys in boxes.''

Jens frowned, raising his eyes from his phone. ''How do you know it's Lucas I'm talking to? Why not Robbe or Moyo?''

''Because you have that smile on your face when you talk to him. Others might not notice it, but I'm your mom. I see these things.''

A light blush coated his cheeks.

Jens: Gotta get back to packing...😞

Lucas: 🥺

Jens: We'll facetime tonight, okay?

Lucas: I'll wait for your call. Love you ❤

Friday, March 13th

A mix of laughters and shoutings filled Jens' bedroom as the four boys battled at video games. They were in the middle of a heated competition between Jens and Moyo when the doorbell went off, forcing them to pause the game.

Jens handed the controller to Robbe, being the only trustable person out of them, and went downstairs to answer the door. A confused frown and a wide grin shared space on Jens’ face, surprised to see his boyfriend on the other side.

''What the-''

''Missed me?'' Lucas asked, a small grin on his lips, interrupting Jens.

Jens' grin broadened and he pulled Lucas into a hug after getting him inside, shutting the door behind. Lucas returned the embrace, snaking his arms behind Jens' neck, missing the closeness of his boyfriend.

''What are you doing here? You couldn’t get away from me for long, uh?’’ Jens teased instead of pointing out Lucas’ tired look, the bags under his eyes looking darker than at the train station on Monday.

Lucas rolled his eyes. ‘’Yeah, I missed your pretty face too much.’’ He squished Jens’s cheeks with his hand, making him pull a fishy face, and laughing at how ridiculous he looked.

‘’I knew it, you can’t get enough of me.’’ Smug look on his face, Jens leaned in to kiss Lucas.

Sooner than usual, Jens’ tongue pushed past Lucas’ lips and Lucas slipped his hands under Jens’ shirt, feeling the warm skin under the grey cotton, catching a soft sigh of content from the taller boy.

They hadn’t had a lot of occasions to kiss more than a quick peck since last Friday and it felt good to share a longer kiss. The weekend had been emotionally difficult for Lucas and his head wasn’t in a mood to make out despite having the house to themselves all weekend.

For a moment, the two boys almost forgot that they were standing in Jens’ entry.

Lucas pulled away, but kept his hands on Jens. ‘’I’m only here for the night, I’m going back tomorrow morning. I came to pick up a few things from my dad’s...and see you.’’

Jens hummed and leaned to kiss Lucas again when loud arguing was heard from upstairs, catching Lucas' attention and making him frown.

''You're having people over?’’ he questioned, feeling bad for taking Jens away from his guests. ‘’I can come back later if-''

Jens shrugged. ''It’s just the boys. We were playing video games. Come.’’

Lucas toed off his shoes and let Jens pull him upstairs.

As they got closer to Jens’ bedroom Lucas’ stomach knotted, worried Jens’ friend will ask questions after the way he left last week at the party. He never gave them an explanation and he was hoping Jens hadn’t told them what happened to his mom. He might be okay to share this personal information with Jens and his own close friends like Kes, Isa and Ralph, but he didn’t want everyone to know.

‘’Now we know why he was taking so long to come back,’’ Aaron pointed out when he saw Lucas behind Jens.

Jens flipped him off and went to the empty spot on his bed, pulling Lucas onto his lap, taking advantage of having limited seating space in his cardboard boxes filled bedroom.

Robbe handed Jens back the controller, ready to get back to the game.

''How are you gonna play with Lucas sitting on you like that? You can hardly see,'' Aaron pointed out.

Jens smirked, feeling confident. ''Don't worry, I can still beat your ass.''

#jens's season #van der stoffels #vds #lucas van der heijden #jens stoffels #wtfock #skam nl #vds fic #last chapter #i'm not entirely happy with the chapter but it's the best I could do right now #sorry for the LONG wait

25 notes · View notes

azozzoni · 4 years

Text

restless & wreckless ch3

“Well, I didn’t want to move to this fucking town in the first place!” Lucas shouted as he yanked open the front door.

“Lucas, come back here!” his dad yelled, but Lucas slammed the door behind him, stalking down the hall to the stairwell and taking the steps two at a time.

His dad wouldn’t come after him, he knew. He’d stay in the apartment and Katelijn would soothe him, tell him that Lucas was just ‘acting out’ and that it was a phase that would pass. Rolling his eyes, Lucas burst out the downstairs door, yanking his jacket closed against the chill, fingers closing around his phone.

It was full of texts today, from his friends back home—Kes and Isa and Jayden—and it vibrated again as he strode down the sidewalk, having no particular direction, just needing to get as far away from his dad as possible.

Happy Birthday, Luc! was the text from Liv, and Lucas glared at the screen before closing out of the message.

His eighteenth fucking birthday. Some birthday.

Pushing back his hair, Lucas sighed as he finally slowed once he turned a corner to an unfamiliar row of houses. He hadn’t expected it to be a good birthday since any friends he had were far away in Utrecht, but he’d at least hoped he could get through the day without feeling like this, like something heavy and unpleasant had settled in his stomach as he kept walking.

On top of the fight with his dad, which honestly, Lucas didn’t even know what it was this time—his clothes or maybe the nose piercing he’d gotten yesterday as a present to himself, or maybe it was Lucas missing curfew (curfew—Lucas rolled his eyes) for the third day in a row—on top of that, there was the fact that when he’d called his mom, the Center had said she wasn’t in a position to talk at the moment. Lucas knew what that was code for, and he couldn’t go see her because even if he did jump on a train, they wouldn’t let him in.

He could always just crash with Kes, he thought as he slunk down the street. Just leave his stupid dad and Katelijn and this whole damn place.

Fuck, he needed a distraction.

Pulling out his phone, Lucas opened up Instagram, scrolling through his feed, but there was nothing interesting there, so he clicked on the search button, typing in a name he knew well enough by now.

Jens’ profile came up, and Lucas frowned as he clicked on his stories.

“We’re at the skate park,” came Jens’ voice from behind the camera, shaking as it swerved to show one of his friends. “And Moyo’s gonna attempt the Nail Slide. I’ve got ten euros that he boffs it.”

“Fuck you!” the guy on camera said and the story ended.

The skate park. Lucas had seen it wandering around town, a rundown park where guys with too baggy jeans hung around smoking weed and trying tricks on skateboards.

Well, it wasn’t as if he had anything else to do, and he certainly wasn’t going to back to his apartment any time soon, so Lucas shoved his phone in his pocket and turned around on the sidewalk, heading in the opposite direction.

It wasn’t exactly impressive as Lucas frowned at the skate park, the sunken cement pit in the ground filled with guys who had never seen an over-sized shirt they didn’t love.

Pulling out a cigarette, Lucas lit it as he surveyed the park, searching for a familiar mop of dark hair, a red hoodie, an annoyingly upbeat laugh. It didn’t take long to spot Jens, on the other side of the pit, his phone still out as he filmed his friends. As he turned the camera in Lucas’ direction, Lucas saw him pause.

Lucas didn’t move, pulling the cigarette from between his lips and exhaling the smoke as Jens’ phone fell, eyes fixed on Lucas. As Lucas watched, the little one said something to Jens, apparently trying to get his attention, and Jens said something in return. Apparently it wasn’t enough as the guy’s head twisted to follow Jens’ gaze.

From this distance, Lucas couldn’t make out his expression, though he doubted it was good.

Jens seemed to shake his friend away, though, and Lucas tapped ash off the end of the cigarette as Jens headed toward him, glancing over his shoulder carefully as if to make sure no one was watching. Lucas ignored the twist in his stomach as Jens reached him finally.

“Hey,” he said, looking confused. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I didn’t come here to skate,” Lucas replied, and Jens nodded.

“Obviously. You don’t have a board.”

Lucas took another drag, smoke filling his lungs, calming him as they stood there, so out in the open, though he could see the tension in Jens’ shoulders as he waited for Lucas to speak, to explain himself.

“I stole fifty euros from my dad,” Lucas said after a second. “How about we go spend it on something stupid?”

“Right now?” Jens asked, frowning slightly.

“No, next week.” Lucas rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

Jens hesitated, still looking confused. Lucas wasn’t sure what was so confusing about it. He had money and time to burn, and Jens was as good as anyone to do it with. At least they’d probably get to make out at some point, and Lucas wouldn’t have to think about the fact that it was his birthday, and all he’d gotten so far were empty text messages and his dad calling him a delinquent.

“I can’t just ditch my friends,” Jens said, glancing over his shoulder at the three guys who were watching them now. As Lucas glared at them, they turned away quickly.

“Since when?”

“Since I’m here with them?” Jens said, frowning, head tilting to the side.

Lucas scoffed. “Just thought maybe you’d wanna have some real fun,” he said, suggestive as he let his gaze slide down Jens’ chest.

Jens almost looked like he was contemplating the offer as he paused, but he shook his head. “I can’t now, but maybe later?

Annoyed, Lucas flicked ash off the end of his cigarette. He was annoyed at the look Jens gave him, almost hopeful, as if this was something they could just pick up later. He was annoyed at Jens’ friends all muttering together behind Jens’ back. He was annoyed as his phone vibrated with what was probably another pointless birthday text from someone he didn’t care about.

“Sorry, this offer won’t keep,” he snapped, eyes narrowed. “Enjoy skating with your friends.”

“Lucas,” Jens said as Lucas turned, and he didn’t turn back. Jens had nothing to say that would stop him, and Jens seemed to know it too as he didn’t say anything else and Lucas left the stupid skate park behind.

Sitting cross-legged on the bench, Lucas stared out at the river. Rain clouds gathered overhead, puddles already formed on the cement walkway, and he huffed as he unscrewed the cap on his bottle and took a swig, vodka burning his throat as it went down.

It wasn’t a birthday without a party, right?

Lucas grimaced as his phone vibrated again. He stopped himself from throwing it into the river as he pulled it out. But it wasn’t a text from someone in Utrecht or even his dad demanding that he come home. It was a DM on Instagram, and Lucas frowned as he opened it.

Where are you?

It was from Jens, and Lucas scoffed to himself as he closed out of it.

Jens wanted to know where he was. Jens had probably finished with his friends and thought Lucas would just be up for a booty call. Hadn’t that been exactly what Lucas had hoped for a few hours ago, though? Annoyed, Lucas took another swig from the bottle. He should have known better than to go to Jens earlier, to hope that Jens was into him enough to ditch his friends.

He’d let himself believe for a second that this was more than what it was.

So why was he denying Jens the chance to make out with him now? Lucas couldn’t disagree with the thought and he took out his phone again.

<i>Guess</i>, he wrote back, taking a quick picture of the walkway, the water, a little boat rental stand, and sending it on. Either Jens would figure it out or he wouldn’t, and that wasn’t Lucas’ problem.

Settling back on the bench, he took another drink of vodka, wiping his mouth and grimacing at the taste. The couple strolling past shot him a concerned look, but they walked on, arm in arm, and Lucas rolled his eyes.

If he was home, in Utrecht, he’d be with Kes and Jayden, and they’d be getting drunk together. Kes would have bought him something stupid like cookies shaped like dicks, and Jayden would have teased him endlessly about the nose ring, called him a wannabe E-boy.

If he was home, he wouldn’t have been sitting out in the cold, watching the way the wind rippled the surface of the water, too angry to go home, nowhere else to go, rejected by a guy who thought skateboarding was actually fun. Shaking his head to himself, Lucas contemplated his bottle. If he went home drunk, his dad would surely kill him, but did it really matter? What could be more punishing than having to live here?

“Having a party?”

A voice interrupted Lucas’ thoughts as he took another drink, lowering to bottle to find Jens at the end of the bench, hands in his pockets.

Looking away, Lucas shrugged. “Wouldn’t be my birthday without one.”

“It’s your birthday?” Jens asked, sitting down next to Lucas, eyebrows furrowed as Lucas shrugged again.

“Does it matter?” he asked, setting the bottle aside and reaching for Jens, hands on his shoulders, dragging him forward by his hoodie until their mouths met, soft and wet, a little cold.

“Wait,” Jens said, getting his hands in between them, and Lucas sighed as he sat back.

“If you didn’t come here to hook up, then why did you?”

“Lucas, it’s your birthday and you’re here, alone, drinking.”

“So?” he asked, frowning, staring at Jens. What did any of that matter? Jens shouldn’t have cared. Jens didn’t know him. Jens was just the guy he’d decided he wanted to make out with a couple times. Jens probably still thought he was completely straight.

“So, are you okay?” Jens asked, sounding concerned, and Lucas huffed, chewing on his bottom lip as he looked away from Jens, out at the water.

“Jesus, I didn’t tell you where I was so you could make this into an after-school special. I just wanted to make out with someone.” He paused, glancing at Jens. “I thought that was what you wanted too.” He scooted in closer again, leaning in to press his mouth to Jens’ neck, lips gliding up to his jaw, gentle kisses that he knew Jens wouldn’t be able to resist.

“I-I do,” Jens breathed, sounding sufficiently distracted, and relief washed over Lucas.

He didn’t want to talk about why he was out here, alone, getting drunk on his birthday. He didn’t want Jens to ask, to care.

“Good,” he murmured against Jens’ cheek as his lips grazed against his skin, teasingly soft as he reached Jens’ mouth, tongue sliding along his lower lip, a careful nip as he felt Jens exhale, warm against his mouth,

“But,” Jens said a second later, and Lucas didn’t let him go on, kissing him hard instead, pressing against him on the damp bench, following the slide of Jens’ tongue against his own, breathing through his nose as he drank in Jens, kiss deep and sweeping.

Jens seemed to forget what he was saying as he kissed Lucas back, hands coming up to his neck, thumbs sweeping over his cheeks as he tilted Lucas’ head up to his.

This was what Lucas needed—to not think about anything at all, to focus on Jens’ mouth, his hands, the warmth of his body, how easy it would be to climb in his lap and get off, even right here, with people walking past, completely exposed.

“But if you’re not okay,” Jens panted when Lucas moved to suck on his jaw, and Jens’ fingers curled into his hair, “You can tell me.”

Jens was just saying it to be nice, Lucas knew, even as his stomach clenched. Today was just a bad day, and Jens wasn’t going to capitalize on it.

“Shut up,” he said instead, kissing the concerned look off Jens’ face instead. He was fine. And he’d be more fine if Jens stopped saying things like that. They’d be perfectly fine the way things were.

#wtfock #skam nl #van der stoffels #my fic #happy monday

40 notes · View notes

ayellowcurtain · 4 years

Text

I love the noor/engel ship so much! Could you maybe write something about them?

Engel looks around her, the airport is so crowded it makes her uncomfortable. What if Noor wants to kiss her right there? In front of everyone? Engel never did that, but she might not be against it, it’ll just be...new. That would be a good world to describe what Noor brings her: all the newness in the world.

Noor once told her about her favorite chocolate that she hasn’t eaten in years since she moved to Belgium. Engel thought it would be the perfect gift as a welcome back home type of gift.

She looks around more carefully when big groups of people start walking out of the door that’s supposed to be of Noor’s flight. She knows who she’s looking for, but maybe Noor is taller, shorter, maybe her hair is not as dark as when they facetime each other. Engel starts doubting everything that she remembers of Noor’s appearance.

When she’s finally there, Engel stops because there’s no way she wouldn’t have recognized her. Noor is so much prettier in person and the way she walks so certaintly towards Engel makes her knees weak.

Engel hods the chocolate bars a little tighter while Noor stands right in front of her and Engel is already giggling like a child.

“Hi...”

“Hi!” She answers way too quickly and Noor smiles quietly, at least someone is having fun and not a panic attack.

Noor is so confident and cool. Engel feels like she’s the one in a complete new place, not Noor. She’s so at ease, suggesting them renting a bike to go back to Engel’s place.

She didn’t ask the girls, her best friends and also rommates, but they all found a place to stay for the weekend. Or her way back home, sitting behind Noor, carrying her bag for her, with her arms tightly around Noor’s small waist, Engel lets herself indulge.

She lets herself hold Noor as tightly and closely as she wants. The wind hitting their faces is a little cold, but Engel doesn’t care, quietly looking at Noor’s profile, smiling, with her cheeks getting red from the cold.

She’s so pretty.

“You’re so pretty,” Engel lets it slip when Noor has just parked the bike in front of her house. She looks at Engel and she almost apologizes for saying it, Noor seems a little taken by surprise and the last thing Engel wants is to make her umcomfortable.

This is not the first time that Engel said that to Noor, but when it’s in person it feels a lot more meaningful.

“Thank you...”

They walk in silence to the apartment and Engel isn’t thinking much about her words, she meant every one of them, but the silence between them is still a little heavy and awkward.

She walks inside first and quietly watches as Noor follows, getting inside and stopping a second later.

“I’m sorry.” Engel turns back around, a little lost and Noor is there, still beautiful, looking at her, “I was stupid. You’re so very pretty too. It’s actually a little bit disorienting, I should have said it when you said it to me.”

“You don’t have to say it back...it’s ok. It just came out of my mouth, no pressure.”

“But I mean it. I was just nervous and guess my brain didn’t know how to form phrases anymore.” She smiles and Engel laughs, waiting for something she doesn’t even know what it is, “Your house is cool...very big. And your friends...?”

Noor looks around them, but she’s still close to the door, close to Engel, not really seeing much of the old apartment they rented almost a year ago, a few weeks before Engel found Noor on one of Kes’ old photo on insta. And suddenly she decided to add that stranger girl that she thought was so her type. Engel didn’t even know she had a type, but Noor was it.

“They left. Liv and Jana are with their boyfriend and girlfriend and Isa is with Kes and Lucas again, I think...maybe she and Kes are back together.”

They’ve been talking for over a year, so Noor knows all of them by name (and Kes and Lucas from when they were all kids, living close to each other) and she nods her head, smiling and Engel blushes, thinking she should shut her mouth already.

“Sorry.”

“For what?”

“Talking non-stop...”

“No need to be sorry. I like hearing you talk.”

Noor walks slowly closer and Engel’s brain stops working completely. Noor’s whole attitude is intimidating and mesmerizing to her so it’s hard to know what to do now that she’s actually around, looking straight into Engel’s soul, probably discovering all her dirtiest secrets.

And she’s obviously the first girl Engel ever got actual feelings for, if something really happens between them, it’ll be the first girl Engel ever kisses. And she’s more than okay with that, could die happy if Noor was the only girl she ever kissed, because this is all that she has been thinking about for months.

They talked about it, more times than Engel can remember, but it’s totally okay if Noor changes her mind now that they’re seeing each other in person. Engel knows she can be a little naive sometimes, and a little too much. Too loud, too girly, too silly.

She doesn’t have time to think about anything else anymore, because suddenly, Noor’s lips are against hers. Gently, but they’re definetely kissing. Engel hears herself softly moaning against Noor’s lips and Noor smile, Engel meets her soft, but strong eyes looking stairght at hers when she opens her eyes and Noor smiles, leaving one last quick kiss on her lips.

“Your lips are so soft.” Engel’s no filter brain says it again and her heart beats faster when Noor smiles even wider, brushing their lips together.

“Thank you. You’re so cute.”

#wtfock #noor bauwens #engel beekman #skam nl #noor x engel #skamnl

30 notes · View notes

peaceoutofthepieces · 3 years

Text

Sink Or Swim

tag list: @cleocc @feeling-kinda-so-so @hopelessromanticvirgo @dreamy-slytherin @adora8 @lockerfivethreefive @painfully-oblivious @poeticinemaa @jjustonemorething @sassy-sara @wedarkacademia @coolguyssyndrome @hischbabe @suckerforsobbe @tayspots @starmansander @theah0lt @zoenneforever @invisibleme @chibibanane @odi-et-amo85 @watermelonlover-123

~^~

Saturday, 13:20

Song: Benny - Boys Will Be Boys

Jens watches the story again, watches a redheaded girl he doesn’t know wrap her arm around Lucas’s neck and pull him into the frame. The two of them grin cheesily at the camera, Lucas’s eyes squinted exaggeratedly, happily, as the girl hollers a ‘happy birthday’ and presses a kiss to his cheek. Next is a full shot of the party, reposted from the same girl, then a recording of Lucas’s own, with a shorter girl with a head of curls who Jens thinks is Isa, and then the boys he recognises as Kes and Jayden. All of them giving Lucas the same cheerful, enthusiastic wishes.

Happy birthday.

He had woken up to Lucas’s post, with the balloons leaving no doubt as to its purpose.

He’s startled from examining further when his door opens and Moyo slips inside, smiling easily at him and instantly flopping onto his bed. “Hey man. Oh, is that Lucas’s party? Why the fuck didn’t we know it was his birthday?”

Jens stares at him, brows raised and lips slightly parted. “What are you doing here?”

Moyo raises a brow back. “You invited me?” He gives a small laugh as Jens continues to look on in confusion. “Dude, where is your head at these days? Remember on Thursday at lunch when Lucas was talking about going home and you got all pouty so I asked if you wanted to hang out? And you said to come here?”

“Right,” Jens eventually allows. It does poke vaguely at his memories, but it’s quite unclear. Still, it isn’t as if he’s going to turn Moyo away. He has no reason to. It’s better than staring at his phone any longer. “Cool.”

Moyo snorts. “Okay, cool. I also texted you when I was leaving my house. And you didn’t reply. Which is why your mom had to let me in.”

Jens furrows his brows before drawing down the notification bar on his phone. He purses his lips when he sees the text from Moyo, wondering how he had taken on such an absentminded focus that he missed it completely. “You did.”

“But I can see you were preoccupied,” Moyo raises his brows. “Didn’t you already see them when you woke up?”

“Yeah,” Jens mumbles.

“So what’s the obsession?”

“I’m not obsessed. Just, trying to see who I know.”

Moyo snorts again. “If you know anyone other than Lucas in those dark, blurry ass shots, I think that’s a little bit obsessed. I know he’s your new favourite toy but surely you can survive without him for one day.”

Jens feels angry, suddenly. He isn’t sure if he’s right to be, knows that Moyo probably doesn’t mean anything by it, but he’s already upset and so incredibly tired. It leaves him wrinkling his nose in distaste and sitting up and away. “Why do you always have to make it out like everything is so gross? You know there’s a way to make a point without fucking making fun all the time?”

It feels surprisingly good to get it out, and where he expects regret to claw through his chest, a small stream of relief flows through him instead.

However, it leaves Moyo’s brows shooting towards his hairline. “Sorry, man. What has you so pissy?”

He sits up next to Jens, bumping his elbow gently, and now he begins to feel a little bad. Still, the upset hasn’t quite run out. “Why do you think it’s so wrong for me to care about Lucas?”

“What?” Moyo frowns. “I never said that. Lucas is cool, I’m glad we’re all friends with him.”

“He’s not my friend.”

The words slip out before Jens can stop them, and then there’s no taking them back.

Moyo’s frown melts away in his confusion as his brow furrows again. Then he lets out a small, somewhat nervous laugh. “What, are you that pissed you didn’t get to join the party?”

“I am,” Jens agrees easily, then has to pause, has to center himself. He thinks of Robbe yesterday, so happy and understanding, and of Lucas just before he left, so happy and excited, and of Moyo a year ago, laughing at the idea of anyone being bi, nose wrinkled at how ‘gross’ it appeared to him.

Then he thinks of how that was a year ago.

Then he says, “I am pissed, because my boyfriend didn’t even tell me it was his birthday and I don’t know why and because it doesn’t surprise me that the first thing you did is make fun of it.”

Moyo’s lips part, and he simply stares at him as they fall into silence. Jens looks back, trying not to let himself falter, trying not to let his fissures show or crack any further. It’s difficult, more so than he thought it would be, and he puts it down to the tumultuous feelings already raging through him after the surprises this morning. It also feels somewhat more terrifying to be voicing it in this room, under this roof. Perhaps this is where it should feel easiest, that it should be a safe place, but he finds his eyes flickering towards the door instead, making sure it’s shut tight. It’s not like it had been, wrapped up in Lucas’s warmth in their own little universe or under Robbe’s gentle gaze in a familiar setting. It’s nerve-wracking and nauseating, to listen for footsteps and watch Moyo look away from him.

Jens is inches away from pulling his hair out when Moyo finally turns back, appearing cautious as he licks his lips. “So you’re...you’re bi, or something?”

Jens’s heart clamours as he nods.

“And you’re with Lucas?”

“Just for about two weeks,” Jens says quietly.

Moyo’s brows raise, but he nods, once again licking his lips and averting his gaze. He focuses on a spot on the duvet as he speaks again. “Like...you’re into him? Like you would want to have sex with him, and everything?”

The little flicker of irritation returns. “Yeah, man, maybe, and I don’t need you telling me how it disgusts you or whatever, okay? Just—“

“I don’t think I ever want to have sex. With anyone.”

Jens snaps his mouth shut as his friend meets his gaze, surprised to have been interrupted.

He certainly hadn’t expected to be interrupted with that.

“What?”

Moyo makes himself small, hunching his shoulders slightly, but he keeps his gaze on Jens. It’s oddly full of nerves, alive with apprehension, overcast with doubt. Below it all, there’s a small hint of relief. Jens suddenly understands what’s happening.

“You don’t like sex?” he carefully pushes.

Moyo curls in on himself further, shrugging without opening his shoulders back up. “I’ve never had an actual experience to base it on, but the idea of it doesn’t actually appeal to me, no.”

All of this is admitted quietly, almost tersely as Moyo picks a thread loose in the sheet. Jens lets him, watchful and thoughtful, wondering where it is he’s supposed to take it from here. He hadn’t been prepared to come out to anyone today, but he hadn’t even considered the possibility that someone else would come out to him.

He has to admit, however, that he’s a little confused.

“But you talk about it all the time. About getting with girls, about what you’d do, and all your shitty dirty jokes?”

“That’s what we all talk about,” Moyo points out. “Aaron was whining over getting laid for months before Amber and it’s not like you’ve ever been shy about it. It’s what we’re supposed to talk about. Even Robbe isn’t as shy about it now. Like shit man, what else am I supposed to say?”

Jens eases up, letting his expression soften as he shifts slightly towards him, setting his phone aside entirely. “The truth,” he says gently. “Anything other than digging yourself into a deeper hole.”

“Yeah, because I wouldn’t have been the butt of the joke, the prude, if I just said I didn’t want to join in right?” Moyo scoffs, shaking his head as he turns to lean back against the headboard. “Don’t give me that.”

“Moyo,” Jens tries, but the words aren’t there. He knows, no matter how much it disappoints him, that his friend is right. They would have joked, and Jens would have been the main instigator.

He realises, with a sort of derisive amusement, that he’s as much the reason Moyo hadn’t come out to them as Moyo is the reason Jens hadn’t come out himself.

“I didn’t even realise what was wrong with me, why I revolted against it even while making dumb jokes or random passes. I thought it was just like, frustration, or jealousy even, that I didn’t actually have the experience. I knew that talking about it, wanting it, was the normal thing, the guy thing.”

Jens’s heart twists, and he’s instantly shaking his head back. “Bullshit. There’s nothing wrong with you.”

Moyo snorts, shaking his head. He still won’t look at Jens. “Isn’t there? Fuck, I didn’t even understand it until Noor came onto me and I had to literally shove her away.”

This is another new surprising piece of information.

“Noor? Seriously?”

Moyo closes his eyes, nods his head, doesn’t say anything else. Jens remains quiet, as well, absorbing the information and giving Moyo room to think. It’s a dead sort of silence, not comfortable or awkward, but heavy. It’s only when Jens realises that Moyo isn’t going to offer anything else that he pushes a little further.

“When was that? I mean, the thing with Noor?”

Moyo shakes his head slightly, shrugging again. “Like two months ago maybe?”

“Two months?”

“I know.” Moyo purses his lips, picking at his nails as he stares down at his lap.

Jens thinks. “You’re not...forcing yourself to do anything, are you?”

Moyo finally looks at him, head whipping around as his brows knit together. “What? No. It’s not like that. Since then, she’s been helping me figure my shit out. Because I...I don’t know, I went into like this panic mood. It wasn’t even about kissing or sex it was like I realised I wasn’t attracted to her at all. Not physically. Like I know that Noor is beautiful, but it’s like I didn’t care. My mind could understand it and my body just didn’t feel it. And then I started to think about it and I’ve never actually been attracted to anyone. Not just Noor, just in general. Girls or guys. It confused the hell out of me, because I thought I did like her but I just...don’t think I can like anyone like that. Sexually.”

“Okay,” Jens nods slowly. “I’m still just not really understanding all your talk about something you have no interest in.”

“I’ve already told you. That’s what’s expected, y’know? That’s how you be a man.”

“Where is that shit coming from? Because I know it’s not your parents, and I hope it isn’t us.”

“No, not my parents, but what about the rest of my family? My uncles and even some of my cousins, I don’t know, it’s like fucking ingrained in them. I’ve ingrained it in myself. Even with you and Robbe, it’s different. They’d see it as like this minor error, but at least everything still works the same. With me it’s like...I don’t work, like this thing just isn’t there at all and—“

“Hey, hey, Moyo, woah,” Jens cuts him off, laying a placating hand on his friend’s shoulder. He waits for Moyo to steady himself, taking a deep breath with a clenched jaw, and then he gives a light tug to his shoulder. He has to do it again before Moyo actually gives in and looks at him, and then Jens keeps his expression serious. “Everything about you works whether you have sex with someone or not. Look at it like this. Your dick could be chopped right off, never able to use it, and you’d still be Moyo.”

He makes a cutting motion with his hand and then a sweep to the side as he makes a ‘phew’ noise through his teeth. It has the intended effect of making Moyo crack a smile even as he cringes, slapping Jens’s hand down with a shiver.

“And you said I make everything fucking gross, man. Jesus.”

Jens cracks, too, letting a small laugh escape as Moyo’s smile widens and his shoulders relax just so. “But it feels better, right?”

Moyo shrugs again, drawn-out and ashamed. “Still abnormal either way.”

“You’re not. You’re just asexual, I think.”

Moyo’s brows instantly shoot upwards. “You know what that is?”

Jens blinks at him. “Do you?”

“Dude, it’s been the only word in my head for weeks. Why do you know about it?”

“I kind of researched into everything when…”

He trails off, letting Moyo pick up on the implication himself, watches him purse his lips and give another nod. “Have you told anyone else?”

“Robbe, and only yesterday,” Jens admits. “You? Apart from Noor?”

Moyo purses his lips, shakes his head. “I’m sorry I didn’t react better to you actually...I mean, Jens, you know I have no problem with it right? What I said last year, it was really stupid. That’s not how I think anymore. Or at least, I’m trying not to think like that.”

“It’s okay,” Jens says softly. “I think I definitely understand a little better now. I’m sorry I haven’t made it easy for you to tell me, either.”

“We can circle back to me, okay? Right now we’re gonna talk about Lucas. You really didn’t know a thing about his birthday?”

Jens kind of wishes they could continue talking about Moyo, because in the last few minutes, he’d forgotten all about his own predicament. Now he’s forced to face it with a groan as he drags a hand over his face. “No. And I was telling myself it wasn’t that weird, because maybe it just hadn’t come up or he didn’t like celebrating or something, but now that you’re asking I feel like it’s weird.”

“Well maybe it is that. It looked kind of like a surprise party,” Moyo offers. “Maybe he just didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. Not with a new relationship.”

Jens isn’t quite sure why he flushes at that, but it makes Moyo’s lips tick slightly upwards. “Yeah,” he blows out a sigh, “but he also hasn’t messaged me. Like things were good yesterday before he left, and he fell asleep on the phone to me last night, and then like an hour later,” Jens makes a vague gesture, only waving his hand back and forth, but Moyo nods with a grimace.

“Maybe he’s stuck in bed. Hungover.”

“Maybe. It just freaks me out, ‘cause I know this is what he does when he’s pissed, or when something’s wrong. Gives me this radio silence. And I can’t go see him at his flat when he isn’t there.”

Moyo hums, then simply says, “Fuck. I’m kinda glad I’m not in this relationship game.”

Jens snorts, rubbing his hand over his face again as Moyo locks an arm around his shoulders and gives him a brief squeeze. “I thought Luc was going to be easier. These past few weeks have been, but,” he breaks off on a sigh, slumping back against his pillows as Moyo slips his arm out from behind him.

“You know what I think?” Moyo says. He waits for Jens to look at him before producing an unopened bag of weed. “I think you need some of your chill back.”

Jens only hesitates for a second before grinning and snatching the bag out of his hand.

#van der stoffels #vds #wtfock #skam nl #sink or swim #vds season fic #sos clip #thank you again sarah you’re an angel 🥰

78 notes · View notes