Laundry Day (in which Anakin is allergic to water)

✨🌙 ART LOG -> @404ama

Obi-wan immediately after he and Siri rescue Ferus from being kidnapped: Why doesn't Ferus smile at me when I walk in a room like Anakin does? Why doesn't Ferus tease me and make snarky quips like Anakin does? I miss Anakin so much, I need to find him right now immediately, I sure do hate being separated from him.

A happy Valentine’s Day to our favourite tragic boys!

To Obi-Wan especially who has never stopped loving his dear Anakin, despite everything💔

Book excerpts from Revenge of the Sith by Matthew Stover and The Last One Standing by Jude Watson

[Padmé] took his hand and laced her fingers through his. "I offered to go because I knew I would be safe. I knew the best Jedi in the Order would be there to protect me." [Anakin] groaned. "Now don't start flattering me." She grinned at him. "I meant Obi-Wan." He tossed a pillow at her, and she shrieked in surprise. She threw it back, and he held it suspended in the air with the Force. "Are you still trying that same trick on me?" "It's worked in the past." She lay down beside him. They faced each other, almost nose to nose. "I'll be careful," she said. "I won't leave your side," he said. "Don't," she said, drawing him close. "I don't want you to."

[Jude Watson's Secrets of the Jedi]

“I never lose my focus, Obi-Wan. Or my commitment.”

Young Obi-Wan and Siri Tachi ✨

" They had tortured Anakin’s mother for a month. Just to test her resolve. Was it any wonder that Anakin had been left with such a deep, festering wound?" " He could do this for Anakin. His Padawan was dead, his brother, his son, his friend. He could give him this. A fearsome anger unleashed. Vengeance."  " He felt his anger rise, and he took pleasure in it. It was growing inside him and obliterating everything else. He wanted to be overtaken. He didn’t want to be careful. He wanted only the white heat of satisfaction." -The Last One Standing - Jude Watson

Jude Watson for Star Wars Insider, 2001

Jedi Apprentice Obi-Wan

Software: ai + ps

Discord server: The Room of a Thousand Fountains

This was created with the Jedi Apprentice/Jedi Quest/Last of the Jedi books by Jude Watson in mind so we can all suffer from that very special kind of Star Wars Legends brainrot together, but all Star Wars is welcome!

Invite link here! EDIT: here is a link without expiration.

She could not be taken. She could not be hurt. The core of her was strength. She could keep them both safe. That was his reality.

Jedi Quest: Path to Truth, Jude Watson

I've got a lot of complicated feelings on Jude Watson's writing in Star Wars, both positive and negative, but occasionally something she writes just... hits. And this quote? This fucking HITS.

This is from Secrets of the Jedi, the novel that discusses Siri and Obi-Wan's romantic relationship that has now been de-canonized. This particular scene is after their relationship has been discovered and they're breaking up in order to remain Jedi because they've been told they cannot do both.

But the line that hits me the most is Siri saying "I was so afraid of what lay ahead that I wanted to let go of my own will" because... WOW. Wow is that Star Wars to its core. That is literally EXACTLY what Anakin and Padme do in their own relationship, Anakin in particular. It's his FEAR of the future, even one that might not even happen, that causes him to let go of his own will and do things he KNOWS are wrong just to try to prevent it. Padme ignores a lot of her own boundaries and morals and better judgment in order to be in a relationship with Anakin. She lets go of the fact that Anakin makes her uncomfortable, she lets go of the fact that Anakin straight-up claims he's a fascist, she lets go of Anakin massacring the Tuskens. If we take TCW into account, then she also lets go of Anakin's possessiveness and sexist demands as well as the fact that he SCARES her sometimes and nearly beats a man to death in order to punish her for what he believed to be a lack of fidelity on her part. She lets go of a LOT of her own will in order to love Anakin.

And Siri asks the question afterwards, is that what love is? Obi-Wan doesn't have a response, but I think the novel does have a stance on the issue. It's a little muddied by a lack of understanding of what attachment is, but I think the answer within Star Wars itself is that this ISN'T what love is. This is what love can LEAD to if you allow it to do so, and it's not an uncommon thing to happen, but this isn't actually love itself. This is what ATTACHMENT is. This is the precise definition of attachment, this fear of what MIGHT happen to something that makes you feel good that it causes you to give up your own will in order to keep it and avoid the feeling of loss. But love is selfless, love is compassion, love is about letting go of your own desires in order to prioritize someone else's happiness.

And within this exact same novel, we actually see a perfect example of this kind of love, showcased through Qui-Gon and the way he feels about Obi-Wan. They're separated partway through the story and Qui-Gon is constantly thinking about how much he misses Obi-Wan and wishes Obi-Wan were with him, but he's capable of recognizing that their mission could save many lives from being lost and that's more important than his desire to be with someone he cares about. There's a moment where Qui-Gon discovers that Obi-Wan is in some kind of danger and he has to choose between trying to rescue Obi-Wan or continuing on with his mission, he CANNOT do both. In his thoughts, he recognizes that losing Obi-Wan would be devastatingly painful, equally as painful as losing Tahl had been, but he still chooses to continue with the mission because there are TWENTY lives on the line and his love for Obi-Wan cannot cost those twenty people their lives. THIS is what love looks like, THIS is genuine selfless compassion for another person. And nothing in the novel ever condemns Qui-Gon for how he feels about Obi-Wan or indicates that he needs to change or end his relationship with Obi-Wan, but it also doesn't shy away from showing just how deeply Qui-Gon DOES care for Obi-Wan.

And while I can believe Siri and Obi-Wan's feelings for each other were genuine, it turns into a selfish attachment VERY quickly. They nearly immediately decide to start living a lie and wanting to change an entire culture just so they can have something they want, despite the fact that Siri at least says that these rules exist for a reason. Their personal happiness becomes more important than anything else momentarily. They both claim that they'll be able to do their duty still, that they'll be able to balance both, but they're also both very ready to deceive other people who care about them in order to keep this thing that makes them feel good. The hurt they are willing to cause to others is small, but it's also something that could continue to grow and snowball into something more and more selfish. What happens when they can't see each other for a really long time and start to get desperate to find a way to be together? What happens when the lies start piling up and cause misunderstandings in their other relationships? The more they cling to each other, the more willing they will be to do the next selfish thing until eventually those selfish choices stop being so small.

This is what attachment does, this is the danger of that kind of love. It's not that all love is always like this, but just that this is an incredibly common thing to happen, especially in romantic relationships. Siri and Obi-Wan literally get to the point of losing their sense of self and their own will INCREDIBLY quickly because neither of them wants to have to make a choice because they're too afraid of losing either their relationship OR their status as Jedi. But, inevitably, they HAVE to choose. They would always have had to choose, regardless of how long the lie lasted or whether it was even discovered at all.

But love does not HAVE to be like this. Love does not inevitably steal your sense of self or your willingness to make your own decisions. It is absolutely possible to have a healthy love that does none of those things and this novel 100% shows that. Just because Obi-Wan and Siri's feelings for each other are genuine does not automatically make them selfless or free of attachment. And while I have my issues with this novel and the way it handles this storyline, including the fact that I'm like 85% sure that this isn't the intended message, I really like what it says about what selfish love can do to you and the way it subtly shows what true selfless love can look like.

Back home after a quest.

✨🌙 ART LOG -> @404ama

"These were things it was not proper for a Master to share with his Padawan. Yet Anakin wanted Obi-Wan to share everything."

!!!!! - The Trail of the Jedi by Jude Watson

still can't believe they recanonized obi wan's brother. what else from the jedi apprentice books should star wars recanonize next? I'll go first it should be TAHL

"Then what is my flaw?" Obi-Wan asked.

There came a silence so long that Obi-Wan wondered if Qui-Gon had fallen asleep. Then his voice rose out of the darkness, soft and deep. "You will be a great Jedi Knight, Obi-Wan Kenobi. I know that with every breath, with every beat of my heart. You will make me proud I was there at your beginnings. If you do have a flaw, perhaps it is simply this: You wish to please me too much."

Obi-Wan had never understood the meaning of Qui-Gon's words. He had meant to ask him after the mission was over. He had puzzled over the words, forgotten them, remembered them again, pushed them away only to have them reappear in his mind. And now, they haunted him.

The Clone Wars had begun. The galaxy had fractured and the Republic was threatening to split apart. They had discovered that the former Jedi, Count Dooku, was leading the Separatists. Many Jedi had lost their lives on Geonosis six months earlier. The tragedy of that battle infused the Temple, made every Jedi walk with a heavy step. Their vision had been clouded for so long. They realized this, yet their vision did not clear.

It was as though a dark curtain was draped over the Temple. And something had changed within Anakin Skywalker.

Something that made Obi-Wan uneasy. And now a worry had been pushed to the forefront of his mind — had his love for Qui-Gon blinded him to the faults in Anakin for too long?

The uneasiness he felt about Anakin, the sense of dull dread that had the power to wake him up from a deep sleep, now had a partner: the conviction that it was too late to do anything about it.

His Master could not have foreseen all that had taken place. Yet he had placed a sure finger on the spot that was most vulnerable in Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan had opened his heart to Anakin because of Qui-Gon's belief that Anakin was the chosen one. Had he tried too hard? Had he overlooked what he should not have overlooked?

Love had never blinded Qui-Gon. But it has blinded me.

[Jude Watson. Legacy of the Jedi]

What would we have been?