#Jasmin XXX
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Guerlain La Petite Robe Noire Intense, Tauer Golestan, Clive Christian Timeless and others– Skin Time November 2022
Errr... I can't quite believe I'm typing these words... but we have YET ANOTHER Petite Robe Noire from Guerlain. But then there's also a new Dusita and a new Tauer. #perfume
Guerlain La Petite Robe Noire Intense
It’s no good asking whether we need another Petite Robe Noire*. Now that we’ve reached what must be at least the eighth or ninth flanker of Guerlain’s bestseller (not counting the many limited edition bottle designs), trying to view the growth of the range in terms of ‘need’ would surely be a case of missing the point. The black dress has become an…
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Was It Over? // Jake Seresin
-> Chapter Eleven: [The Man]
Summary: When Jake and Jensen go head to head over who means what yo you, things escalate to new heights, so much so that Jake lashes out and says something that may not be forgiven.
Warnings: Sick!reader. Breast cancer diagnosis. Jake Seresin x F!reader. Angst, hospital & medical inaccuracies. SLOW BURN ROMANCE/ Inaccurate medical information. Relationship turmoil. Mentions of religion. JEALOUS JAKE!
Word Count: 5.6K
Author Note: This chapter brings the total word count of this series to 50k....I cannot believe that an idea that began as a one-shot has turned into this. Thank you all so much for your support on this one. xxx
Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist
There was a brief moment right before your shower where Jake was able to step out into the hall to call his sister Jasmine. He knew the call he was about to make was going to be neither short, nor pleasant. But he also knew that deep down, you weren’t mentally prepared to tell your children you were sick. But the pair of you had to start somewhere. And that somewhere was Jake’s sister.
“What the FUCK is going on!” One single ring. One dial. That's how long it took Jake's sister to answer, hell, Jake thought it would have been sooner but he gave her a little good grace for potentially having to step out of whatever family dynamic she found herself in. “Mum said Y/n’s sick?”
“Did she say it like that?” Jake replied unamused as he found an empty chair to sit on in the waiting room area down the hall. He didn't want to stray too far away from your room. Although he knew that you were with the nurses, he couldn't find it inside himself to leave. If Jake tried hard enough, he could still see your bed socks at the end of your hospital bed.
“Uh–” Jasmine's apprehensive silence confirmed all Jake needed to know. “She may have said it with a little hope in her chest, mentioned the words dropped and dead in the same sentence of wishful thinking.” Jake couldn’t say he was surprised after the way Janeen had spoken so poorly about you directly to his face. He couldn't really imagine what she’d been saying to other members of the Seresin family. “But what's going on? I'm keeping an eye on the kids as much as I can but holy shit mum's just on a warpath–”
Fuck: Jake knew leaving the kids behind was a bad idea on his behalf. The guilt of running off on his children in the middle of the night was beginning to eat him alive. The idea of lying to them about your condition only made that guilt harder to rationalise.
“Okay, can you just promise me you won’t tell the kids?” Jake groaned into the phone. “Y/n doesn't want them to worry so she doesn't want to say too much.”
“Jake–” Jasmine's voice changed, the serious nature of the conversation at hand was beginning to shine through with ease. “She's alright, isn't she?” Jasmine asked as Jake let his elbows rest on top of his thighs. This whole situation, the newly found world of which you were living in was begging to give Jake the head spins. Keeping up was exhausting, but this wasn't about Jake now was it. “This is Y/n we’re talking about, she has to be alright.”
Unbeknownst to you, Jake had been reading all your files, all your reports, everything and anything he could get his hands on about your diagnosis. After all, he had been named your emergency contact not long after showing up. He’d made a convincing case. Jake knew a lot about your current situation. He knew the odds, chances, risks and possibilities.
“She's been diagnosed with Stage three A, triple positive grade three invasive doctoral carcinoma.” Jake explained to his sister who on the other end of the call, sat watching his youngest try to eat the sand from the sandpit Jake himself used to shit in as a child. “The oral chemo they had her started on caused a stroke, apparently it's a common side effect, to me they shouldn't be pumping people full of that crap if its gonna cause a fucking stroke forty percent of the time.”
Jake knew the silence on the other end of the line was due to an overload of information getting caught in his sister's cerebellum. It was a lot to take in, hell Jake still hadn’t really been given an opportunity to take it all in. since he found out he’d been go go go. He knew an impending moment of weakness mixed with overall exhaustion was coming. When that moment would come he wasn't sure.
“You’re lying–” Was all Jasmine said. Jake wished more than anything he could say he was.
“Fucked up thing to lie about Jas–” Jake responded softly as he listened to the hustle and bustle of the hospital wing his sat in. “She hadn’t been feeling well for a few months, Doctors say it's aggressive, feeds off her hormones and stuff.” Jake didn't understand a lot of it, but he was trying his best to navigate a field he wasn't an excerpt in. “She's in for a preventative double mastectomy on Christmas Eve. It would've been earlier but the strokes kinda set her back a few days.”
“Jake– I don't believe you, the kids–what about the kids, what do I tell them?” Jasmine couldn't comprehend the devastation this would cause on the already struggling family dynamic. You and Jake were meant to be, everyone knew that. But this whole separation, the miscommunication and overall fractures within your marriage were all major contributing factors as to why love just couldn’t be enough.
“Don't tell them anything, please, for the love of God Jas don't tell them anything, I just–” Jake let out a sigh of frustration as he ran his hand free hand through his hair. God he needed a haircut. “We just need a little time to process what's going on and Y/n–she's been doing this for too long on her own, I can’t keep letting her down so just, take a moment to breathe for me.”
“Holy fuck you aren’t kidding about any of this are you?” Jasmine with all her good graces and problematic marital issues of her own, looked over at where her husband sat with hers and Jake's father. The sight was enough to send a shiver down her spine. The man who raised her was not someone who Jasmine ever wanted her brother to become. Losing your wife to such a disease that was as unforgiving as it was inhumane could potentially be an origin story bubbling under the surface of Jake's skin.
“Jake–You don't get to turn into dad if this ends anything less than Y/n walking away from this cancer free Jake, your kids deserve to have a dad that won't treat them like burdens and mistakes.”
***~***~***~***~***~***~**
“Watch your step alright?” Our skulls are designed to cushion our brains. Our rib cages are specifically moulded to guard our hearts. The human body is built to protect our most vulnerable parts. At least, that’s how it’s supposed to work.
The way in which Jake helped to guide you out of the bathroom with his hand pressed firmly against the small of your back made your heart skip a beat. You held tightly onto his forearm with one hand and in the other? Was your IV poll, still pumping you full of antibiotics and fluids.
“I got it.” You tried to focus on just putting one foot in front of the other. That's what this whole thing was about right? This battle, this fight. It was all about putting one foot in front of the other. With Jake by your side, albeit with some underlying resentment still to be discussed, you felt as though those steps, small but meaningful in their own right, were made with intent and purpose to keep fighting. “Shit the air-con feels so weird on my head.” You chuckled to yourself as Jake shut the bathroom door behind the both of you.
“Yeah holy shit it's like–” As Jake's eyeline faltered from you to the figure standing over near the door, his heart sunk into his stomach. His face turned to stone as the green in his eyes, usually an emerald colour, darkened to something more pine-like. The half finished sentence that left your husband's mouth and tailed off into complete and utter silence was what got your attention the most. It wasn't like Jake to not say what was on his mind.
“What's up?” As you turned your head slowly, you saw the man who had been nothing but a pillar of support for you to lean on since your diagnosis. It was the man who had kept you above water when you felt like you’d been drowning in a sea of unprecedented mortality. “Jensen–” The shock and excitement in your tone was something Jake couldn't miss no matter how much he wanted to. “You came?”
Jake made no attempt to move as you shuffled forward, he stood still with his heart hammering inside his chest. He stood completely still as his thoughts carried him away into a world where nothing made sense to anyone. Into a world where he didn't have you, a world where for the last year he’d tasted of that very misery and hated every last second of it.
“I uh–” Jensen held out the bouquet of sweet peas, peonies and pansies he’d brought for you. The overwhelming colours and signature scents captivated the entire room with their freshness. “I wanted to stop by, see how you were doing, hope I'm not intruding?”
The body tends to adapt quickly to new circumstances and pressures it’s put under. It knows how to protect itself. But it can’t close off completely, or well—we’re not really living are we? Biology tends to override our fears, so we leave the door open, just a little…hoping like hell that it's worth the risk.
“Oh no, no we just finished up some DIY haircuts.” You beamed, the smile that ignited across your face was a smile Jake hadn't seen in years. A smile so pure and full of love that it couldn't ever be faked. “Jake, this is Jensen.” You introduced the two men who had played significant roles in your life, having no clue that they had both already met one another in the hall. “We met at the doctors office, as unfortunate as that sounds, it's been really nice to have someone who just, knows.” Jake slowly but surely aided you over to your bed before he made his way over to where Jensen stood watching idly. Assessing the situation unfolding before him. “Jensen convinced me to go to a few of those CCA meetings, although not my cup of tea–it's nice to know that that support system is there.”
Jake eyed Jensen and his bouquet of flowers off as he stepped closer and closer with a look Jensen couldn't quite read in his pine green eyes. The betrayal of love often has boundaries that people end up living with for the rest of their lives. For Jake, his betrayal and the consequences of his emotional ineptitude inside his marriage was starting to play out right before his very eyes.
He saw the potential that there was in fact another man. And oh boy did he hate it.
“And Jensen, this is Jake, my husband.” Jensen took subtle notice of the way you introduced Jake to him as your husband, not your ex-husband like you'd been referring to him as since the two of you first met. Something had changed, Jensen could sense it. But for as much as Jensen could sense the chemistry between you and Jake, Jake could see the way your eyes lit up with overjoyous surprise when you realised that the flowers Jensen held in his hand were in fact for you. “Are those, are those for me?”
“Oh–yeah.” Jensen beamed as he walked a little further into your room. “I thought they might bring a little light into your room but it seems that you have it pretty well decorated.” It was the small nod to the Christmas lights that hung around your room that made you smile even brighter as Jake made his way back over and helped you into bed. You could tell there was tension brewing just from his quietness alone. “And the new haircut suits you, good thing you don't have a weird ass head huh?”
“Hey Jarred–” Jake interrupted before you had a chance to reply, the way he intentionally called Jensen by a different name rubbed you the wrong way. The frown that cast itself across your face left little to Jake's imagination, but as he made sure you were as comfortable as could be in your bed, he kept going. “Nows, probably not a good time–”
Jensen looked around your room carefully, he knew the system well and what times were more common than not for nurses to do their daily rounds and check-ins. He knew that by the looks of things you had just showered and were probably settling in for the afternoon. If Jensen was correct in his assumption as he looked back towards where Jake stood at your bedside, he would assume that he couldn't have picked a better time to drop by.
“Seems like a pretty good time to me man, besides, why don't we let Y/n here make that call.” Jensen replied calmly as he went about finding a place for your flowers to go. Jensen could have played the safe card, he could have chosen to be the bigger person and not mention it, but he didn't really have a hell of alot to lose. After all, he was a dead man walking. What was the harm in stirring the pot a little where he still could. “Honestly, I didn't expect you to be here if I'm being completely honest.” Jensen smirked as he turned back to face Jake. You felt like your heart was about to explode right through your chest as you looked back and forth between the two men who had seemingly gotten into a mines bigger than yours contest on either side of your bedside. “Didn't think you knew your wife was sick–”
The silence was deafening as Jake thought about all the ways he could kill a man in one single motion. The rage he felt inside his chest was red hot jealousy. Jensen could practically see the steam spewing out of Jake's years.
“What my wife decides to share with me has nothing to do with you–” Jake growled, you could just see the way he was grinding his teeth. Jake's jawline had never seemed more profound. His knuckles were almost entirely white as he leaned against the railing of your hospital bed. Lowered down for convenience of getting in and out.
“It does when I’ve been the one listening to how much she wishes you loved her the same way she loves you.” Jensen shrugged. “Come on man, don't play this game, don't pretend that I don't know what been going on–”
“Enough!” You couldn't have shouted it slider if you tried. “Both of you, my god we’re all supposed to be adults here?” You sighed as you looked at Jake and then over to Jensen. Something was off with him, this wasn't the Jensen you knew. He seemed off, very off. “Can you two just back up, let's start over.” However, it was a plea that fell on deaf ears.
Remember that impending moment of weakness mixed with overall exhaustion Jake mentioned earlier? Yeah– about that. Guess it was coming around the corner sooner rather than later.
“Nah–” Jake shook his head as he let out a sigh. This was bullshit, you really had him fooled. He really did think that there was a possibility here that maybe, just maybe, the two of you could fix what he had unintentionally broken while focusing on your health. “Nah, I'm not gonna put up with this dickhead.” Jake hissed as unclenched his hands from the railing on your bed. “I'm gonna go get a coffee, try not to catch each other's cancer cells while I'm gone.”
“Jake, don't leave!” You begged as you sat up a little straighter in your bed. “Please—“ The panic that followed was something otherworldly as you watched Jake round out of the hospital room that had become your home away from home. “Please!”
Jensen was if anything, enraged. He hadn’t helped the situation but he never would have left your side after making a remark so thickly lacquered with jealousy. He didn't think Jake would react the way he did, so quick to make assumptions. The small gift Jensen still held in his hand was quickly placed on your bedside table.
“I’ll go talk to him—“ Jensen pressed his lips together as he let his hand fall gently to your shoulder. “My fault, I shouldn't have said what I did, I'm sorry.” Jensen didn't pretend to not see how upset you truly were. He understood what it was like to feel the weight of the world crushing your spirit. “He didn't mean what he said Y/n.”
“He did–” You sighed as you wiped away your tears. “He asked me when he came to take the kids to his mum's house if I was seeing anyone–”
Ah, Jensen thought to himself as he stood by your bedside and listened.
“He wants to get back together, fix what's broken, change.” You sighed as you looked over to the open door that Jake hadn't long before walked out of. “He probably thinks you're more than a friend.” In another life, perhaps Jensen could have been more than just a good friend. In another universe somewhere he hoped that maybe you never had this unforgiving disease. But this wasn't another reality, this was right now.
“All the more reason to fight for his girl.” Jensen cooed as he leaned in to kiss the top of your now very smooth head. “I'll go talk to your husband.”
You caught onto the not so subtle subtlety of the way Jensen teased that title. Husband. Jake Seresin was still very much your husband. He was the very definition of a man who was supposed to be at your side through thick and thin. But right now? You were doubting his ability to fully comprehend what was happening to you. Jake’s focus shouldn’t have been on Jensen and who he was to you. But yet you couldn’t not defend him.
“He’s not a bad guy, he’s really not—“ There was an awkward silence that lingered in the room as Jensen chose to take in what you’d said. “This is all just so much for him to take in.”
“You don’t need to explain your relationship to me.” Jensen wanted to say that if Jake was such an alright guy, then you wouldn’t have left. He wanted to remind you of all the conversations the two of you had had over the past few months. All the times you’d cried about the man who didn’t value your time, your energy, your love. “But a woman like you should never have to beg a man to stay.”
“I left him.” You felt the need to remind the man who stood at your bedside with an ora surrounding him you didn’t recognise. “I stopped begging him to love me a long time ago and you know that.”
Jensen could have thrown the fact you just called out after Jake back in your face, that you’d begged your husband not to leave. But he wasn’t that mean. He was just looking out for you. Someone had to. Someone had to make sure this Jake guy had his priorities in check and that you were at the very top of that list where you belonged.
“I know—“ Jensen pressed his lips together into a fine line. “But that guy just walked out the second things got a little more complicated, what’s gonna stop him from throwing in the towel if your health declines more than it already has?” Jensen shrugged his shoulders like he wasn’t being nasty. It was his version of tough love.
“I’m sorry—“ You scoffed as your face contorted into that of a frown mixed with frustration. “Are you, are you testing Jake?”
“Cancer is one of the world's most leading causes of divorce.” Jensen added like it was a statistic you should have known. He knew you knew it. “I just wanted to see how well he handled a little external pressure.”
“You’re—“ Before you could finish your sentence, Jensen was smiling down at you from ear to ear.
“A menace, I know, but I’m a menace that only has your best interest at heart.” Jensen explained as he sat down beside you for only a brief moment. “Your fight isn’t with Jake right now, he shouldn’t be fighting you or anyone else in your life that may come and go.”
“Jensen—“ You knew Jensen hadn’t been well, but he hadn’t explicitly told you how bad it was. There was something in his eyes though, the way he looked at you like he was looking at you for the last time that had you worried. “What’s going on with you?”
“I’m just making sure if you’re letting that man back into your life that he’s gonna stick around when things don’t go the way he wants them to.” Jensen smiled softly as he picked up your hand to bring towards his lips. He left a fleeting kiss upon the palm of your hand and let out a sigh he wasn’t aware he was holding in. “I’ll go track down your sook of a husband, make sure he’s aware that you’re hopelessly devoted or whatever you wanna call it.”
“Please be nice—“ You pleaded gently as Jensen stood from your bedside. “Please.”
“Anything for you Y/n.” Jensen replied, he knew that this would be the last time he ever saw you apart from in his own version of heaven. “Anything for you.”
***~***~***~***~***~***~*
Jake Seresin had never been a fan of hospitals. That mentality first started when he broke his leg in kindergarten and needed a full cast, but it grew with him well into adulthood. Jake had never liked hospitals, even when all three of his children were born he still hated them. Not even the love he had for his children could override the hate he felt towards the sterile environment that gave far too many infections to people to be considered ‘normal’
“Seresin.” But Jake had never hated hospitals more than he did the second he heard his last name being called from just a short distance down the hall. Called by a man who Jake would happily like to never see again. “The hell is your problem?” Jake caught the sight of the man who’d brought you flowers coming right towards him with a fire burning in his eyes. The man you had kept somewhat a secret from Jake. Much like your diagnosis.
“My problem is asking me what my problem is.” Jake groaned as he took a sip of his shitty ass hospital coffee. “Don’t you and my wife have things to talk about?” Jake asked as he took a few steps away from where Jensen had stopped in his tracks. “Things I’m not privy to as it seems? Like her health or new love life?”
“You don’t even know who I am to your wife!” Jensen barked loud enough to have Jake stopping in the middle of the hall. The six foot something aviator turned slowly on his heels to give the almost matching in height bald dude the time of day he seemed to crave. “But I know all about you, because I’ve been there for Y/n while you’ve been busy playing part time parent across the country.” Jensen had nothing to lose, he was just a dying man who had no time left to cherish.
Jake wasn’t about to stand here and take this. He didn’t need some guy who’d stepped into your life to tell him what to do. You were the mother of Jake’s children, you’d always be that to him regardless if he could fix what he broke.
“Get out of my face before you need a plastics consult.” Jake growled through gritted teeth all the while Jensen grinned. He was standing his ground as Jake continued on his defensive. “Because so help me god, you may feel like god right now with your self-righteous heart and knight in shining armour attitude, but you sure as hell won’t feel all high and mighty when you meet him.”
Jensen didn't want to fight with your husband, but he did want to make it known that time was forever fleeting, and if Jake kept going the way he was there would be no time left to fix what he broke. You needed someone to be there for you, Jake had to be that person.
Because Jensen couldn’t be that guy for you anymore, he had no fight left to give you. He had no fight left in himself.
“You know I sympathise with you Jake, I do, it must be hard being the guy who broke your own marriage to a woman who loves so fiercely and so much.” Jensen started as he let his elbows rest atop his sweatpants clad knees. “And now having to deal with the fact that said wife is dying must be a lot to work through.”
Jake remained speechless as his eyes lingered down to the man who was almost out of breath from his walk through the halls. He held his half drunk coffee cup in his hand with enough rage coursing through his veins that Jake was actually surprised he hadn’t crushed the flimsy cardboard vessel.
“But you know what the worst part of all that is? Is that your priority isn’t your wife, or fixing your marriage—“ Jensen continued on. “No, it’s on the guy who your wife chose to confide in when you were nowhere to be found.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jake replied with a hiss in his tone that mimicked the deadliest of snakes. “I couldn’t give a shit who you are to her or what you want, because she’s my fucking wife—mine!”
“And yet here you are arguing that point with me in the hall when you could be at her bedside appreciating all the small moments you’ll be lucky to look back on one day.” Jensen grew more heated as Jake took a few strides his way, towering over where Jensen sat. “You threw a fit the second I stepped into that room without using any critical thinking skills you aviators claim to have in the heat of the moment.”
“She told me she wasn’t seeing anyone! Come to find out that that’s—“ Jake didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence before Jensen intervened that train of thought.
“She’s not! You’re wife fucking love’s you!! She kept her prognosis from you because she was so scared you didn’t love her back enough to fucking care! And you’re hung up on the idea she’s seeing someone? Me!?” Jensen scoffed as he stood, the few strides he took towards Jake were made with intent behind every single one. Enough to have Jake stumbling back every so slightly. “Here’s a concept for you man.” Jensen pressed his index finger into Jake’s sternum. “Maybe, just maybe, if I was sleeping with your wife, she’d remember her worth.”
“You really don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jake sighed, there was no way he was entertaining this delusion any more than he already had. “I think you should leave.” The idea of you being with another man sent Jake into a blind rage of jealousy that saw no reason. But at the end of the day, he was the one who walked out on you. He’d strayed too far from your hospital room and couldn’t see your bed socks anymore.
Fuck….
“Maybe, maybe I should—“ Jensen agreed. “And hell I don’t even know you at all, but from what I’ve managed to piece together? it’s that you're a crap husband who doesn’t have the emotional capacity to handle the fact his wife could lose this battle.” Jensen retaliated with a stone cold expression. “But something I do know is that no amount of prayer or candles or begging will reverse time, so put your ego side and focus on the fact your wife needs you now more than ever before and if you leave her side the way you did today ever again, trust me when I say you’ll regret it every day of your life.”
“Y/n isn’t dying—“ Much like Jensen was taking his fear of the unknown out on Jake, Jake was just about ready to let loose on the guy who was picking apart his very character. Sure, Jake recognised he wasn’t the best husband, but he also knew you weren’t dying. Not right now, not while he wasn’t by your side.
“I wasn’t either, but as it turns out we all have an expiry date.” Jensen replied. The atmosphere and energy surrounding the two men who were going head to head suddenly shifted. “Some sooner than others, but we all have one, and when yours is up yours is up and there ain't nothing you can do you extend it.”
“You’re—“ Jake couldn’t bring himself to say it.
“A walking corpse.” Jensen finished the sentence he knew Jake was trying to speak into existence. Although he didn’t care to beat around the bush. “So trust me when I tell you that wishful thinking does shit when your body decides it’s had enough.”
“Does Y/n know?” Jake's first worry was how this news, how this detrimental turn of events, would affect you. His heart forgot how to beat inside his chest when he watched Jensen shake his head in response.
“She needs to focus on her own journey, and before I go I need to make sure she has a support system because for a while there I was all she seemed to have.” Jensen explained. There it was, the truth of the matter.
Jake saw it clear as day, the care, the worry, the intention to make sure you had someone there for you because Jensen wasn’t going to be there anymore. You may not have slept with the guy standing before Jake but if Jake knew anything, it was the look of a man who was unequivocally in love with you. He saw his own reflection of Jensen's eyes.
“Go back, apologies, and you fix your marriage man because that woman? That electrifying woman who sees the good in everything doesn’t deserve to go through this alone—and you turning your back on her the second someone made things a little difficult for you isn’t a good representation of the husband she deserves.”
“You love her, don’t you?” Jake asked as he took a second to truly take in Jensens whole argument. The world seemed to go on around them, with doctors and nurses carrying out their daily duties and rounds. Family members walking to and from rooms visiting loved ones. But for Jake and Jensen? The world stopped when it came to you. “You’re in love with my wife, say it.” Jake couldn’t hide the pain in his voice. “Tell me you love her, then this all makes sense.”
“Maybe—“ Jensen tried to play his love for you down into something that was just a social construct. “Maybe I love her, but I don’t get a chance to explore that, you do though.” Jensen was truly trying to hide the pain in his eyes, but Jake could see it all too easily. Jensen knew that. “So if not for yourself, for her, pull your head out of your ass man—“
“I never stopped loving her though.” Jake sighed out in frustration as he sat down on one of the plastic hospital chairs that lined the hallway. Jensen followed soon after, both men decided that the heat of the argument was settling into something more valuable. “I just—I lost sight of what I had.”
“That’s just not a good enough excuse.” Jensen replied as he let his head fall back against the wall. “Listen, I don’t plan on coming back after I leave today.”
Jake didn’t respond, he simply waited for Jensen to explain. But the explanation never came and Jake never pressed. If anything he was kind of relieved in a selfish way.
“If you truly want to fix what’s broken, if you really want to fight for her and be by her side when she needs you the most, you’ll get up and you’ll go back in there and you’ll be the guy who gets to hold her like no one else does.” Jensen pauses momentarily before he continued on. “Because there’s better guys out there Jake, and she shouldn’t have to settle for one who doesn’t appreciate what’s right under his damn nose.”
“Is this your way of telling me you’re a better man than me?” Jake asked cautiously, a part of him didn’t want the answer to be yes. But Jake needed to know what the man sitting beside him truly thought. You saw something good inside him, inside both of them.
“I’m not a better man than you Jake—“ Jensen sighed as he stood from his chair. It was getting late, he had said his peace, he had put the fear for a dying man inside Jake Seresin. There wasn’t much more Jensen could contribute to your life besides what he had already given.
The body tends to adapt quickly to new circumstances and pressures it’s put under. It knows how to protect itself. But it can’t close off completely, or well—we’re not really living are we? Biology tends to override our fears, so we leave the door open, just a little…hoping like hell that it's worth the risk. But for Jensen….He was ready to close the door and lock it shut.
“I’m just a man who’s run out of time and has nothing left to lose.”
***~***~***~***~***~***~
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amber alena
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Dadrius Week Day 5: Uncle Eberwolf
“You’re lucky today,” Eberwolf signed, “Tomorrow? I would have been taking ratworms out of town. Should have called. I almost didn’t see the scroll.”
“Yes, because I CLEARLY have ready access to a raven phone at the moment.”
Eber gave Darius a ‘really?’ face. “Your parents live down the street.”
“That is the problem, isn’t it? Can we just leave? I’m surprised Jasmin hasn’t already sniffed us out.”
Eber shrugged, backing up and yowling his species’ equivalent of ‘beep, beep, beep.’ He drew a circle, and two ratworms, one a usual greyish color and the other a rarer bright red, slithered out, curling around him. “One for Hunter. One for you.” Eber sniffed Hunter’s injured hand. “To the healer?”
“No,” Hunter answered, “Just home.”
Eber raised one eyebrow, but didn’t comment, just hopped onto Darius’ shoulder and leaned forward until Darius sat on the red ratworm, wrinkling his nose at the creature’s grimy surface. He knew they liked to wallow and dig, but really. Did Eber ever bathe them? Maybe that was where he was taking them tomorrow, although Darius sort of doubted it.
The moment Hunter climbed onto his ratworm (carefully moving the cape he still wore so that it didn’t touch the animal, Darius noted with some small amount of pride) Eber yipped, and the two worms took off, expertly bobbing and weaving through the streets. An abomination warp certainly would have been much faster, but the ratworms weren’t exactly slow, and they arrived at Darius’ house in minutes.
“Thank you, Eberwolf.” Hunter slid off of the ratworm and headed inside without another word, shoulders slumped. Darius watched him go, waiting until the blinds in Hunter’s room closed.
“I think I may have made a mistake,” he said in a rush to Eberwolf.
“You think?”
Darius twisted his gloves in his hands. “I didn’t give him enough warning. I let Jasmin of all people run off with him—”
“I like Jasmin.”
“Of course you do. But she’s a bit of a strong force for impressions, especially added on top of the stress of meeting my parents.” Darius pinched the bridge of his nose. “I pushed him too fast, and now I’ve scared him off. Something went wrong, he broke a glass, and it made him freeze up. I think I perhaps made it worse somehow when I tried to help? He got hurt, and he’s upset with me for taking him there—not that I blame him. I just… wanted to introduce him to my family. And now he’ll probably never want to go back.”
Eberwolf sniffed. “Sure about that?”
“Of course he won’t want to go back! The whole thing went sour from the beginning—Jasmin was right, I shouldn’t have expected to just show up and expect everything to be normal.”
Darius paced back and forth. “I should have patched things up with my family on my own before trying to drag Hunter into the mix. Things are still awkward between us, and adding a whole other person, especially one I’m also having an awkward time with… titan, he probably thinks they hate him and he was the problem. I was the one on trial; they probably already like him. Heaven knows my father was judging how I’m taking care of Hunter.” Darius pinched the bridge of his nose. “Which he… was probably proved right about. He got hurt on my watch—I’m supposed to be the adult in his life that protects him from injury, Eberwolf! No wonder he’s upset.”
Eber scratched his ear. “So tell him.”
“I’ve already told him it wasn’t his fault we left early, and he doesn’t seem to believe me. He’s…” Darius waved a hand in the air. “Catastrophizing.”
“And you’re not?”
“Well. It’s not catastrophizing if it’s true.”
Eber rolled his eyes. “I’ll tell him.”
“What? Eber, no, you’re—”
Eber scuttled halfway up the side of his wall, clawing his way out of Darius’ reach. “Too late!” He disappeared into an upstairs hall window. Despite his irritation and anxiety that Eber would aggravate the situation, Darius didn’t chase after him.
Maybe he’ll surprise me.
Xxx
Hunter unwrapped his hand, hissing as the bandages stuck to the wound. Yeah. That was going to smart tomorrow. But the bleeding had stopped, and the wound had already started to clot, so with any luck, they’d at least be scabbed over by tomorrow.
The door to his room opened, and Eberwolf scampered in, sniffing at his wounds.
“It’s fine,” Hunter insisted, but he held his open palm out to the demon anyway. “What do you think, jelly?”
Eber nodded. “Keep flexible,” he signed. Hunter was still learning the demon’s language, but he understood enough that he didn’t need Darius to translate anymore.
Eberwolf’s nose crinkled. “Bad day?”
Hunter eyed him. “You’re not going to just report everything I say to Darius, are you?”
Eberwolf crossed his heart. “Won’t.”
Hunter sighed, gently sponging dried blood away from the wounds. “I screwed up. I broke a glass, I had a—a panic attack in the middle of his parents’ kitchen, and I don’t think they were too impressed with me to begin with.” He expertly unscrewed the lid off of a tube of antibiotic gel with one hand, squeezing the substance onto his open palm. “I just wanted to do something with Darius for father’s day, maybe just… I don’t know, take some sort of step out of ‘person who lives in his house.’ And instead, I made everything worse.”
Eberwolf snuffled, pawing at his nose.
Hunter sat down on his bed with a whump. “He tried to introduce me to his family, Eber! It was a big deal! But I messed up. And now he’ll probably never want to let me near them again. I—are you okay?”
The little demon had been rocking back and forth, scratching at his face, but now he fell over backwards, rolling around and howling with laughter.
Hunter jumped up, flushing. “This is serious! Stop—quit laughing at me, I don’t have the same advantage you do where I’ve been on good terms with Darius for years, I—I what is so funny?!”
Eber shook so hard he couldn’t sign properly. He wheezed out a couple barks and growls through laughs, then gave up. The little demon hopped back to his feet, coughing for air.
“Thinks he made mistake.”
“Oh,” Hunter said softly. The festering worry that he’d done something wrong yawned open wider inside his chest, seizing his lungs. Darius thought bringing Hunter had been a bad idea. He really had messed up. “Okay,” he managed, “Thanks for telling me how he… how he feels.”
“No.” Eber hesitated, started to sign something, then snatched up a pen and one of the brand new journals Camila had gifted him for his first school semester at Hexside.
You’renot the mistake.
Hunter stared at him, uncomprehending. Then, slowly, slowly: “Wait, if I’m not the mistake—what he thinks—”
“Overwhelmed you.”
“What? No, it was my fault, I broke the glass, I freaked out, why would he think—I mean, his abomination slithering around my feet didn’t help, but again, that’s on—it’s not Darius’ fault!”
Eberwolf heaved a long-suffering sigh. “Wants to take you back. Thinks you don’t want to go.”
“I do! I mean, maybe not today, but if he wants to—if they want to—if we can…” Hunter paced around his room. “Eber, you know him better. Does he want—does he think—am I just—”
“Finish sentence.”
“I…” Hunter struggled for words. Did he want answers to any of his questions? What if the answer was no? What if Darius was just letting him stay in the house, and the adoption papers were only a formality? Did Darius even plan on signing them?
But he’d wanted Hunter to meet his family—did he want them to be Hunter’s family, too? Jasmin had called herself his ‘Aunt Jasmin’—although that had sort of seemed like something she’d do without much prompting.
“What am I supposed to be?” he said finally.
Eber tilted his head. “Hunter.”
“No, I mean—am I his coworker? Friend? Ward? Ch-chi—” Hunter couldn’t finish the word.
“Supposed be Hunter. Whatever is.”
Hunter sighed, flopping backwards onto his bed. “It was almost easier when he hated me. At least I knew what he expected.”
“Easier. Not better.”
“No. Not better,” Hunter agreed. He’d only gotten Darius’ respect recently, sure, but now that he had it, he never wanted to lose it. Whatever happened, whatever he and Darius ended up being, he didn’t want to go back to how it had been.
“You want…?”
“I don’t know.” Hunter rubbed his arms. “I don’t know what I want. I don’t know if I’m ready for—for—” He shuddered, remembering the cold, slithering feel of Darius’ abomination. It didn’t usually bother him; neither did Amity’s. But this time… “It was easier with Camila.”
Not that he’d put a label on what Camila was to him, either. But somehow, the stagnant unsureness was more comfortable with her. Simply a quiet state of being, rather than this volatile, dangerous thing that felt like the ground beneath Hunter was moving and swaying and could possibly explode at any moment. His hand went to his belt pouch, resting on top of the card inside.
“I don’t know,” he repeated.
Eberwolf shrugged. “Darius doesn’t either.” He patted Hunter’s arm. “Not fault.”
The demon stretched, then headed out the door, disappearing into the hallway. Hunter heard a scratching sound on the outside wall, and then nothing. He stared up at the ceiling, absentmindedly flexing and relaxing his injured hand.
If Darius doesn’t know what he wants, how am I supposed to figure out where I fit in here?
Am I just supposed to… figure out what I want and hope it lines up with whatever he figures out?
What if it doesn’t?
Darius wouldn’t kick him out, he was sure of that much, but still. There were dozens of ways his situation could go badly that didn’t involve displacement. He could list at least five off the top of his head.
They couldn’t stay in this awkward stalemate forever. He knew that.
But still. Thinking about what might happen when they left… Hunter would rather grab another handful of glass.
Xxx
Is Hunter okay? Mom and Dad are asking, too.
Darius’ fingers hovered over the keyboard. The last set of text messages between he and Jasmin was another rejected dinner invitation from three years ago—and scrolling up, he could see that their last real conversation that weren’t short courtesy invites had been ten years ago.
I really did drop the ball on that one. No wonder she was upset.
What did he tell her?
He’s fine, he replied shortly (a lie, maybe, but what was he supposed to answer?), then added thank you for the concern. I’ll let him know you asked.
Three dots.
We saved some cake. If you two want to come back.
Darius read and reread the message over and over again. Another invitation. A second chance.
Before he could send a response, Eber barked a warning, and Darius jumped up as he scuttled back down the wall, suddenly nervous. If he hadn’t screwed up with Hunter irreversibly, they could make this work. His parents and Jasmin were willing to try again—if only Hunter was on board. “Well?” he demanded, “How’d it go?”
Eber preened, grooming himself. “How did what go?”
“Don’t do this to me, Eber.”
A dramatic sigh. “I am the only one keeping this family together.”
Darius fought back the urge to pick the demon up by the scruff of his neck and shake him until he got answers. Still, his hands twitched. “Eber.”
Eberwolf stretched, whistling for his ratworms. “Promised not to tell you what he said. But I will say, you need to figure out what he means to you. Or you’re going to lose him.”
#toh#the owl house#dadrius week 2023#day 5: uncle eberwolf#dadrius#darius deamonne#hunter deamonne#eberwolf the huntsman#toh eberwolf#my writing#toh fanfiction
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Adam Film World XXX Movie Illustrated Vol. 12 # 7 featuring: Jasmin St. Claire
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The Highland Fox and The English Rose
Read on AO3. Masterlist (with fic summary)
NOTE: Rating for this chapter: E
XXX
Chapter 4: The Highland Road for Me
Lucien woke, as he had every morning since the day after his wedding, hard as his dirk.
Sighing, he threw his quilt off his heated body and leaned up on his elbows to stare at his cock, a slight frown on his lips. He had hoped his body would have gotten the hint by now that it wasn't going to have any company other than his hand for a while. Apparently, his little tryst with Elain last night had convinced it otherwise.
He looked over to his window. The window was slightly ajar, and the thin, gauzy curtains framing the glass fluttered softly as the gentle breeze brought the earthy scent of the loch into Lucien’s room. The sun was out with hardly a cloud spoiling the bright blue sky overhead. It was going to be a beautiful day, and he really needed to get out of bed and begin his long list of tasks.
That could wait a few minutes, though.
Lucien reached down and palmed his aching cock. Gingerly wrapping his hand around his shaft, he began stroking himself to an all too familiar beat.
Elain looked beautiful last night under the moon and stars, especially as he slowly moved towards her and lowered his lips to her face. She hadn’t looked frightened or repulsed by his scars and eyepatch; on the contrary, she looked excited by the thought of him touching her, her gaze hazy with lust even as she told him off for how horrible he had been to her the past several weeks.
Her skin was so soft under his lips. Elain had become pliant, like her bones had transformed to water when his lips danced across her face and neck. Her scent—honey and jasmine—zipped across his lips like he’d been struck by lightning. Lucien groaned at the memory—what he wouldn’t give to have her tongue on other places of his body.
Lucien would much rather get his hands and tongue on her, though. Lucien could already see it, the first time they’d lay together. He would whisper sweet nothings in her ear and kiss her until she was breathless and sick of it. Her neck, shoulders and collarbones would receive the same treatment. She’d be soft and willing, wanting, under him.
Lucien brushed his thumb over the head of his cock, smearing the bead of precome around, shuddering as his hand picked up its pace. If Elain were here, he would guide her hand up and down his shaft, letting her explore his cock to her heart’s content. Soon, though, he would have to move her hand off him, so he wouldn’t finish too early and because he’d need all his attention so he could worship her body.
If he remembered correctly from their wedding night—and Lucien could recall every breath he’d taken that evening—Elain’s breasts were the perfect size for his hands, her nipples pink and proud. He would spend ages licking and sucking and learning what she liked and didn’t like. Maybe Elain would like having her breasts being bitten and squeezed—maybe she wouldn’t care one way or the other. Lucien would do whatever she wanted him to do.
He would still tease her for a bit, kissing his way down her stomach, licking and nibbling her hips and thighs. Perhaps by then Elain would be so desperate she’d cry out for him to do more, touch her, end the agony between her legs. Only then, when she’d beg him, would Lucien spread her legs and truly look at his wife.
Lucien gripped the base of his cock and squeezed, taking several deep breaths, willing his impending orgasm away. He wasn’t done imagining what his wife would be like in bed quite yet.
After a few moments, his hand resumed its lazy pace up and down his shaft. It all felt so good—where was he at again?
That’s right—between Elain’s thighs. She would be pink and absolutely dripping for him, his fingers gliding through her slit with no resistance as he stroked and touched her lower lips. He’d be gentle as he touched her—Lucien knew from prior experiences that his length took lasses some warming up to take—before sliding a thick finger inside her.
Lucien threw an arm over his eye, his hips moving in time with his stroking hand. Elain would be so tight around his finger. He’d thumb the small bud at the top of her lips, working her open gently as his fingers brought her to release, his name on her lips.
“Fuck,” Lucien murmured, adding a twist of his wrist over his cockhead on each upwards stroke of his length. “Fuck, Elain…”
Yes, that’s what he’d rather be doing right now. Before that, though, he’d need to prepare his wife for his cock.
One orgasm wouldn’t be enough; no, with the tremors of her first release still wracking her body, Lucien would lower his face between her thighs and finally taste his wife. Maybe she’d taste light and floral, her honey and jasmine scent more intense, or perhaps altogether different, more musky and spicy. Regardless, Lucien would spread Elain wide and feast between her thighs.
He could already imagine her gasps and groans as his tongue delved between her slick lips, her cunt still pulsing with her first release. Lucien would lap up her juices and luxuriate in the taste and smell and feel of his wife as she thrashed above him. Her bud would be straining and though he’d try to tease her, make her wait, Lucien knew himself and knew he’d be unable to prevent himself from licking and sucking her small pearl.
Lucien would add another thick finger to her quim—it was still nothing compared to his cock. Elain would moan at the unfamiliar stretch but Lucien would soothe her by telling her how good she was doing and laving her bud with his tongue.
Lucien grunted. His hand was now slick with precome, his cock harder than it had possibly ever been before.
Elain would come again on his tongue, Lucien would make sure of it, her scent flooding his mouth until all he could see and smell and hear was her. Her walls would tighten around his digits and her cries would only make him harder and more needy for his wife.
He’d kiss Elain again, her wetness soaking his face, to let her know how much he wanted her and how desperate he was for her. She’d be ready, spreading her thighs wide to welcome him in the cradle of her hips, his cock brushing against her delicate folds.
And when he slid inside her tight, silken heat for the first time—
Lucien gasped, his back bowing off the bed as he found his release, his fluids splashing on his stomach and dribbling down his hand. He groaned, working himself through his release, gritting his teeth as the sensations turned from pure pleasure to overwhelming the more his hand moved. Slowly, his hand stopped pumping his length and he lay on his bed, breathing hard.
If he was able to come at the mere thought of sleeping with his wife, how would he fare when he eventually won her over and consummated the marriage? He might be no better than a green boy about to tup his first lass, coming as soon as he pushed inside her.
Lucien closed his eyes. He shouldn’t be imagining what Elain would be like—she might be cold and stiff in bed, only laying with him as her societal duties as wife and Lady command. She might outright refuse to lay with him.
Based on the hurt and devastation in her eyes when he’d turned and left her in the garden last night, Lucien wouldn’t blame Elain if she wanted nothing to do with him for the rest of their lives. She was completely right: he had neglected her in favor of another, inadvertently toyed with her, then played with her body and emotions on the eve of temporarily leaving her, which she didn’t even know was about to happen. But something told him that if he managed to convince Elain that he could be a good husband and lover, that she would be just as fierce and passionate as his partner as their arguments have been.
Lucien pondered his wife as he cleaned himself and got ready for the day. Why was she outside last night? Had she somehow known he was planning on departing in the evening, when the moon was high and bright to guide his way?
He doubted it. It was probably just his bad luck that brought Elain to the garden last night.
Well, perhaps bad luck was a bit dramatic.
He should have been more insistent on escorting Elain back to the castle and leaving then and there. But seeing the anger and fire in her eyes was like a glass of the finest whisky straight down his throat: unexpected and thrilling and arousing, all in one. How could he turn away from the raw emotions his wife was displaying? Elain’s clear desire for him was infectious, spreading throughout his own body at the first graze of their skin against each other and rising to match hers. How could Lucien do anything but touch more and more of his wife, her large doe eyes drawing him in, making him forget everything else but her?
And she had gripped him back with as much longing as he had for her. At the very least, it was clear they each fiercely desired each other. If they had to be married for the rest of their lives, it was a good sign that they thought the other attractive.
Lucien sighed, heading directly for his office. He had a lot to do: go over his maps and notes, retrieve his pack from the bush in the garden he’d thrown it under when Elain chanced upon him, and get new water and some fresh provisions.
He had only been working for a short time when someone knocked on the door. “Come in,” Lucien said distractedly, rolling up a map.
Tamlin strolled in. Lucien looked up, surprised. “What are ye doing here?” he asked, not unkindly. “I thought ye were leaving early this morn.”
“I wanted to discuss something with ye,” Tamlin said, shutting the door behind him.
“Oh? What’s that?”
Tamlin paused. “What’s Mr. Archeron, Feyre’s father, like?”
Lucien snorted, going over to his large bookshelf and selecting a recent publication on Scottish waterways and lochs. “A right bastard. The epitome of an Englishman, right down to his greedy little belt buckles.”
“So does he no’ view us Scots favorably? Even landholders?”
“The only person he views favorably is himself and anyone he can squeeze a bodle out of,” Lucien said, looking through the book. It was actually quite informative—he should make room and bring it along. “He’s the devil in disguise and I pray every night that I never have to see him again.”
Tamlin pursed his lips. “I get the impression that Feyre is verra independent, that maybe she might no’ care if her father approves or disapproves of her actions, or who she spends time with. Would ye agree?”
“Aye, sure,” Lucien mumbled, looking through his book. It had a detailed map of the lochs in Clans Mackenzie and Munro to the North—if he could charter a boat across the lochs, rather than having to go around them, he’d shave days off his schedule.
“So, since her father isno’ around, and yer technically her nearest male relation, would ye object if I began spending more time with Feyre?”
“If it suits ye,” Lucien muttered. Or perhaps he could avoid the roughest roads altogether and take a boat along the northeastern coast, avoiding the worst of the clans, especially Clan Sinclair.
“Yer a right friend,” Tamlin beamed at Lucien, pulling him in a one armed hug. Lucien stumbled—Tamlin wasn’t the most emotional man, so he must be pleased with something.
“I’m off, then,” Tamlin called, practically running out of the office. “Need to prepare my estate. I’ll call on ye and Lady Elain later, aye?”
“Aye,” Lucien replied in a daze, confused at Tamlin’s outburst, glancing back down at the book in his hand.
“It seems, for a man who should be nearly 10 miles away by now, that you’re looking quite comfortable in your office this morning.”
Lucien swore—why was everyone constantly interrupting him while he was in his office? “How long have ye been skulking about there, Jurian?”
His friend shrugged, stepping into his office and closing the door. “Just when I saw Tamlin step in. I thought you’d both be gone by now.”
“Aye, well, there was a bit of a mishap last night. I wasno’ able to get to the stables.”
Jurian furrowed his brow. “And what was so large a deterrent that you weren’t able to leave during one of the clearest Scottish nights I’d ever seen?”
“Elain.” Lucien answered simply.
“Ah,” Jurian said slowly, sitting in the chair across from Lucien’s desk and propping his feet up. “Yes, I can see why you’d be so reluctant to leave her for so long.”
“It wasno’ that—she was outside in the garden at night and she caught me. Like she was waiting for me.”
Jurian’s eyes widened slightly before he relaxed his features. “Well, that’s unfortunate. You’ll be leaving tonight then?”
“Aye, regardless of what—or who—I see on the way.”
Jurian hummed. “It wouldn’t hurt to tell Elain where you’re off to, in case there are problems or delays.”
Lucien scoffed. “Ye sound just like Eris.”
“Your brother is a very smart man and excellent at planning military maneuvers.”
“That wasno’ a compliment!” Lucien snapped.
“Perhaps you could have learned a thing or two from him when it comes to your wife,” Jurian shot back. “Vassa says she's clever, and far fiercer than you think.”
“Why is everyone so obsessed with Elain?” Lucien muttered to himself, ignoring how his own pulse quickened at hearing someone else tell him what he already knew about his lovely wee wife. “I’m no’ changing my mind.”
“Have you at least talked to her, like you promised Vassa?”
“Er, aye, in a way,” replied Lucien, thinking less of the words he and Elain had exchanged the night before and more of their bodies moving against each other.
“Good,” said Jurian, nodding. “Vassa will be happy to hear that. What’s that book you’ve got?”
Happy to move on from talking about Elain, Lucien showed him the book on lochs he’d discovered. With any luck, he wouldn’t see Elain today before he left. His heart suddenly ached at the idea, like it protested being away from the sassy Englishwoman who had quickly taken over his thoughts and dreams.
XXX
“… and then I hit the wolf right in between the eyes! It was amazing!”
Elain hummed noncommittally, trying to let Feyre’s words go in one ear and out the other. She and her younger sister were sitting outside in the courtyard on a large plaid blanket, enjoying a simple lunch of bread, cheese and meat. The clouds that had just rolled in above them hid the warm sun that Elain knew was dying to peek back through.
“I wouldn’t have ever been able to make that shot if I was using my old bow and arrow. Tamlin’s gear is much better quality than mine, obviously.”
“You’re spending quite a bit of time with Laird Stewart,” Elain observed.
To her surprise, Feyre blushed. “Well, it’s not like there’s much else to do here, is there?”
Elain had to give her sister that. Before last night, when she and Lucien had touched each other, Elain felt like she would die of boredom.
But last night…
Last night, with Lucien so close to her, and touching her, and whispering sweet words in her ear, Elain finally felt something for the first time she’d arrived in Scotland. Passion, desire, want. And not just from her, but from Lucien as well.
Elain awoke that morning with the sweet dreams of their touches lingering in her mind, and an aching dampness between her legs that she quickly remedied. Her joy fled her as soon as she reached her release as she recalled what Lucien had said to her: I shouldn’t have let it get that far.
Elain huffed. Perhaps it was the curse of all women to suffer idiotic men.
“Well, it isn’t proper to be spending so much time alone with an unmarried man, unchaperoned,” Elain said to Feyre at last.
Her sister snorted. “No one from England will ever know what we’re doing up here, unless we spread rumors about ourselves.”
“That is one benefit to being up here—not having to worry about gossip.”
“Well, you don’t have to worry about that, anyways.”
Elain furrowed her brows. “What does that mean?”
Feyre paused. “Well, Tamlin’s told me some… intriguing stories about what happened to Lucien. You know, with his…” Feyre gestured to her face. “And his family.”
Elain’s stomach clenched. “What? What have you heard?”
“Has Lucien not told you?”
“No! He hasn’t told me anything!”
Feyre winced. “I shouldn’t have said—“
“You’ll tell me everything you know right now, or I’ll tell Nesta what you’ve been up to with Tamlin!”
Her sister scowled. “Scotland has changed you already. Fine, don’t go repeating this, but Tamlin said Lucien was caught… fraternizing with a servant girl at his family’s castle. The servant girl’s husband beat Lucien nearly to death and took an eye to boot. Brought a bunch of shame on the family, so his father disowned him so he could no longer claim to belong to Clan Vanserra.”
Elain felt like she was sinking. “An affair? Disowned?”
Feyre nodded. “Apparently his mother was so embarrassed by his actions she sent herself to a nunnery to repent for his sins.”
That would explain why his parents weren’t at the wedding. “Oh goodness,” Elain gasped, clutching her chest, her heart and lungs suddenly on fire. What type of man was she married to?”
“Oh fuck, I shouldn’t have said anything,” Feyre said as Elain stared vacantly at the blanket in front of them. “Calm down, please, it’s just gossip. Even Tamlin admitted he didn’t know the full story.”
“Every rumor begins its life with a thread of truth,” Elain gasped, too distraught to reprimand Feyre for her rough language.
“And by the time we hear of it, it might be all wrong,” Feyre said soothingly. “Please, forget I’ve said anything.”
“How do you expect me to just forget that my husband is possibly an interloper?!”
“Quiet! We may not know Lucien that well but Tamlin has had nothing but positive things to say about him besides this. Come on, let’s get our minds off of this by going for a walk along the walls.”
But Elain couldn’t get Feyre’s story out of her thoughts, even hours later as she paced in her bedroom alone. Had Lucien truly ruined someone else’s marriage? What would it mean for her own marriage if she couldn’t trust him not to stray?
Elain had to be missing something. She had to talk to Lucien, right now.
Gathering her courage, she marched out of her room and through the halls. She wasn’t sure where he might be, but thought his office near his room would be a good place to start.
The door to his office was closed but Elain didn’t let that stop her. Gathering the worry and anger that had been gnawing on her all night, she burst into his office. “We need to talk—what are you doing?”
Lucien was bent over a large traveling rucksack on his desk, trying to stuff a thick hardcover book into the overflowing bag. His eye widened and his mouth opened like a fish as he took in Elain before him.
“Er, hello,” Lucien said awkwardly, carefully moving his pack off his desk and out of sight. “What can I help ye with, Elain?”
“What are you doing? What’s that large bag for?”
Lucien didn’t answer. He stammered as she stared at Elain, panic overtaking his eye.
“And why are you dressed like that?” It was the same outfit Lucien wore last night, including his weapons. This wasn’t something someone wore for an evening around his castle or even a midnight stroll around his garden, Elain realized. This was the outfit of someone going away.
“You’re leaving,” Elain said quietly, studying Lucien’s attire and the guilty look that came over his face. “You’re leaving me .“
“No—I’m not leaving ye, Elain,” he whispered. Lucien looked wrecked, though whether it was due to him abandoning her or being caught doing so, she had no idea.
“Sneaking off in the dead of night with a bag, and you say you’re not leaving me?” She laughed bitterly. “Then explain to me what you’re doing. Something is going on here, I know it.”
He paused. “It’s complicated.”
“Good thing I have nothing but time on my hands.”
Still, Lucien didn’t answer. He swallowed and eyed the door behind Elain.
Elain slammed the door, and the entire wall seemed to shake with the force of her actions and fury. “Go on, husband. It’s just us now.”
Lucien hesitated again. “I’m going… north, further in the Highlands.”
“Oh? And what’s there that’s so secretive that you couldn’t tell me, your wife, where you were going?”
He flushed. “Don’t,” he warned. “Don’t ye dare say—“
“What? That I’m your wife? Are you that ashamed of me that you can’t even stand to hear the words? Are you embarrassed of me?”
“No,” Lucien snarled, storming up to her and glaring down at her. “Never think that I’m ashamed or embarrassed of ye.”
“Then what is it? Why won’t you tell me what you’re doing?” Elain snarled back, craning her neck up to glare back at Lucien.
“It’s dangerous, what I’m doing and where I’m going. The less ye know, the safer you’ll be.”
Elain shook her head, disgusted. “Don’t you dare say you’ve been thinking about my safety as you’ve ignored me the past two weeks in order to leave me in the middle of the night.”
“It’s true—I ken I havena’ been acting like it, but as yer husband, it’s my responsibility to keep ye safe and this is the best way for that.”
She couldn’t help the incredulous giggle that escaped her mouth. Ignoring her was his version of keeping him safe?
"You had better start being honest with me right now,” Elain warned, “or I am going to scream so loud at you, I’ll wake up everyone in the castle.”
He tsked. “Yer being dramatic.”
“I’m being dramatic—!”
“Alright! Fine, fine, keep yer voice down,” Lucien winced, looking back at the window, like he was afraid the sound of her yelling had permeated the glass. “I’m going to a small island called Sangravah,” he said reluctantly, quietly.
Sangravah? She’d heard that before. Elain cocked her head and wracked her brain and remembered the book she’d looked at only yesterday: Sangravah, a small island off the northeast coast with some type of lighthouse or monument drawn on the landscape.
Why would this blip of an island, an afterthought on the map she’d studied, necessitate such secrecy? What was there that Lucien was so desperate to obtain?
There were so many moving parts and veiled truths and statements she’d gleamed since arriving: Lucien and Eris being brothers but swearing allegiance to different clans, Vassa’s reluctance to discuss Lucien’s past, his lack of family at the wedding, Feyre’s claim for what led to Lucien’s disfigurement and banishment…
Something clicked in Elain’s head. Perhaps it was not a what, after all.
Elain stilled. “Who’s at Sangravah?” she asked quietly, and Lucien paled immediately.
“How did ye know?” he asked, sounding almost scared.
“Just a guess. There’s enough unanswered questions going around that make this seem personal.”
“Aye, well, good job,” Lucien said awkwardly. “Now that you know where I’m going—“
“But not who you’re going for,” Elain said shrewdly. “Tell me who’s worth traveling through half of Scotland on a dangerous mission of some sort.”
“That’s private! I’ve already told ye where I’m going, that should be enough!” Lucien snapped.
Elain narrowed her eyes. Definitely personal, based on how defensive and scared he had turned when Elain partially guessed the truth.
Her stomach dropped. “Do you have another woman at this Sangravah?” Elain whispered. “Is that what this is? You’re rescuing your lover?”
Lucien’s eye widened. “No, of course not! How could ye think that?”
“Why else would you be going through all this work?” Elain felt lightheaded, then rage filled its place. “Is it the servant woman who got you banished from the Vanserra clan?”
Lucien’s face froze. “Where did ye hear that?”
“You’re going to get her out so you can send me away, aren’t you?” Jealousy like she’d never felt before flared, bright and hot, inside her. “What’s she like?”
Lucien pursed his lips. “Stop talking.”
“Is she prettier than me? I bet she’s not.”
“Be quiet and shut yer mouth,” he breathed heavily, his nostrils flaring.
“Does your manhood get as hard as fast as it did the first time you saw me naked as it does for whoever this wench is?”
“I’m going to rescue my mother!” he yelled. “My mother is at the convent at Sangravah against her will, and I’m going to get her back!”
The silence in the room was deafening. Elain felt the righteous anger flowing throughout her body ebb away like the tides. “Your… mother?”
“Aye,” Lucien sighed, running a hand over his weary face. Now that he had confessed his ultimate destination, he looked exhausted. “Her husband, Laird Vanserra… discovered something that my mother had done in her past. It doesn’t matter what,” Lucien said, seeing Elain start to ask another question. “He discovered what she had done and needed to be rid of her. There’s no divorce, and he wouldna’ risk the shame he would have brought on his clan by abandoning her. He forced my mother to give up her title as the Lady of Clan Vanserra and dedicate her life to the church, then sent her to the harshest convent in all of Scotland to live out the rest of her life alone.”
“Goodness,” Elain breathed, too stunned to say anything else.
“It’s a heavily cloistered convent.” Lucien looked like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders, his body relaxing as he confessed his secrets like a man at confession, his words tumbling out of his mouth like he didn’t realize what he was saying. “Once women enter the monastery, the only way they can ever leave is a white shroud around their cold bodies. The only exception is the Mother Superior and her Prioress, who are allowed to leave to conduct church business and get supplies.”
“That’s dreadful.”
“Aye. Worst part is that the convent was established by the English Crown as a way to exert control over the Highlanders. If any Lairds or Lords get any ideas about rebelling, the English will kidnap their wives or daughters and take them to Sangravah, to be held as prisoners in all but name.”
Elain swallowed. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”
He chuckled dryly. “Bit much to drop on yer wife, no? Besides, there are some parts of the plan that aren’t as… well thought out. It’ll be dangerous. If it’s discovered ye knew what I was doing, some of the Lairds won’t look too favorably on ye.”
“I could have helped you with… something,” Elain said lamely.
“Ye really couldn’t. There’s lots of parts that Vassa and Jurian have been helping me with.”
“Vassa and Jurian know all this?”
“Aye. They’re the only ones—besides you, now—who ken where I’ll be and what I’ll be doing the next few months.”
Elain stuttered. “Months? You’ll be gone for months?”
“It’ll take me a while to get to Sangravah, get my mother out, and get back, so aye, a few months. But I’ll be back before you realize, and we can start our marriage properly, like it should have been.” Lucien said this soothingly, like he was talking to a skittish horse or upset child, and not his fully grown adult wife.
That was it. The resentment and rage she’d felt for Lucien coursed throughout her body. He had spent the past two weeks since their wedding ignoring her, then spent a lust-filled evening caressing her, working her up only to deny her, and now he was leaving her alone, with only her sisters for company, in his castle for months, on some type of half-planned rescue mission?
Over her dead body.
“You’re taking me with you!” Elain hissed.
Lucien’s eye widened and he scoffed. “I am no’!”
“Oh yes, you are! You’re taking me with you on this little… adventure you’ve planned!”
“This is no ‘little adventure’! And why would I do that?”
“Because if you don’t take me now, I’ll, I,ll… I’ll follow you around forever! You’ll never have a moment alone and you’ll never be able to sneak away and rescue your mother!”
Lucien tsked. “I’m sure I can manage to escape ye for a moment.”
“Or maybe I’ll just tell everyone all about your little mission,” Elain snapped. “Everyone at the castle—Dougal, Alis, all your minor lords and yeoman. I’ll tell them you’ve abandoned your title and wife, that you’re no longer interested in even being a Laird anymore.”
Lucien glared at her. “Yer far too nice to do any of that.”
“You don’t know me at all—who’s to say what I will or won’t do?” Elain shrugged. “Maybe I’ll even write to some of the Lairds…” She paused, another dot connected. “That’s the real reason you established these trade routes, isn’t it? For access to clan lands and roads you wouldn’t normally have, so you could pass unbothered to Sangravah.”
All of the red flush that had gathered on Lucien’s face over the course of their argument vanished instantly. “Eris was right—yer far too clever for yer own good.”
“I wonder how they’d take the news that you brokered contracts with them all under false pretenses,” Elain said thoughtfully, tapping her chin. “If you lied to them about this, what else have you misled them on?”
“I’ll lock ye up in the castle!” Lucien exclaimed desperately. “I’ll, I’ll keep ye confined in yer chambers day and night, until I return!”
Elain leveled a cold glare at her husband. “You’re rescuing your mother from the same situation you just threatened me with. I know little about you, husband, but I know you’d never lock a woman up and throw away the key.”
Lucien deflated at her words. “Aye, yer right,” he said tiredly. “I could never do that to ye.” He sighed and ran a hand over his face, groaning into his fist. “Fine. Ye want to come with? On yer head be it. It’ll be verra hard and dangerous and rough—they’ll be no niceties like warm meals and sleeping in inns. Ye’ll listen to everything I say and follow my orders. Find a bag and pack light. We leave tonight.”
Elain’s heart jumped in her throat. “Truly?”
“Aye, I said what I said. I’ll gather more provisions. Go on, pack!”
“And you’re not going to leave me behind?” Elain asked suspiciously, already moving towards the door.
“As ye so kindly pointed out, it appears ye have me by the bollocks,” Lucien grit out. “So no, I won’t be leaving without ye. Ye may need to pass as a boy on the road at times—too many questions and too unsafe for a bonnie lass like ye to be on the road with just me. I’ll have to find ye some pants.”
“Er, no kilt? I have some simple wool dresses—“
“Bring those, and whatever else is plain and will keep ye warm. No kilt for ye—ye’d never pass as a man with those shapely legs. Pack the simple things ye do have, I’ll get the rest. Be back here in ten minutes.”
Elain rushed out of the room without a backwards glance. Finally , she was leaving the castle and doing something.
And she had only needed to coerce her devilishly handsome and difficult husband into letting her accompany him on a mission to rescue her mother-in-law.
Throwing open her wardrobe, she hastily packed several plain wool dresses, a few long skirts and some long sleeved tops, long socks and her traveling cloak. It was probably for the best that Lucien hadn’t gifted her anything with his clan’s plaid, she thought bitterly, as she wouldn’t be able to bring it. Elain had a well-worn pair of tall brown boots that she pulled on, along with some simple bonnets.
She looked around her room. Everything else—her fine dresses, her jewelry, her makeup—couldn’t come with but she wasn’t upset about that. It was a shame she couldn’t fit any of her books in her bag—what was she going to do to pass the time?
Glancing at her desk, a leather bound journal, given to her by Father the morning after the wedding, peeked out at her from under some discarded clothes. Grabbing the journal and the few rough-hewn graphite pencils that came with it, Elain wrote a quick message to her sisters explaining her abrupt absence simply as needing to tour the lands and trade routes with Lucien. Content that that simple missive would hold them over, she stole out of her room and back to Lucien’s office.
“Did ye pack just what you need, nothing else?” Lucien asked as soon as she entered, closing the door behind her.
“Yes—plain clothes and boots. Did you find some pants for me?”
“Aye,” he confirmed, gesturing towards a haphazard pile of brown clothes of various shades and materials on his desk. “Had to ransack the keep for different sizes. Try them on to make sure they fit.”
“Er, where?” Elain asked. There was no privacy screen in the room, nor a separate room for her to change.
“Right here.”
Elain scoffed. “I’m not changing in front of you!”
“It’s nothing I havena’ already seen, after ye offered yerself so nicely on our wedding night,” Lucien reminded her, briefly glancing up and down her body, a single eyebrow raised. “And we’re married, are we no’? We’ll have to get used to seeing each other bare if it’ll be just us two on the road together.”
Elain flushed. “Fine. Could you… look away, or something, while I change?”
Lucien leaned back against his desk, a smug smirk on his lips. “I’m comfortable here. Go on, we doona have much time.”
Gritting her teeth, Elain reached behind her to begin untying the lace ties on her dress. She huffed a breath. “I can’t reach—can you—?”
Elain felt Lucien’s warm body behind her suddenly. “Aye,” he said, his voice an octave deeper than usual. Elain shivered as his large hands deftly untied the back of her dress. She bit her lip to contain a sigh as his fingers trailed down her now exposed back.
Gripping her hips, Lucien spun her in his arms. His eye was filled with fire, a heat that Elain felt in her own body between her legs. Just like last night, it would be so easy to give in and become enraptured by Lucien. His gaze dipped to her lips and he began lowering his head to hers…
But he needed to work a bit harder for her, Elain thought, especially after last night. Darting under his arms towards his desk, Elain grabbed the pile of trousers, a smirk on her lips. “We don’t have much time, right?”
Lucien released a deep sigh. “Aye, yer right,” he responded, leaning against his desk again and crossing his legs. “Go on, let’s see how they fit.”
Elain took a deep breath. Be direct, bold and vicious, just like her brother-in-law had counseled. Dropping her dress and shift so she was only in her undergarments, Elain kept eye contact with Lucien as she struggled with the first pair of pants, unused to anything other than dresses. She tugged on the pants but they stopped mid thigh.
“A little small, I think.”
“Aye,” Lucien answered hoarsely, his eye now focused on her bare legs. “Just a wee bit.”
“Where did you get these?” Elain asked, reaching for the next pair and beginning the process again.
“Some stable lad,” Lucien said distractedly, watching Elain raptly as the next pair barely cleared her hips.
“Well, these fit,” Elain said, looking down at the material covering her lower half like a second skin.
“Ye’ll convince no one that yer a lad wearing those,” Lucien muttered, staring at her body. “But they’ll have to do. I have other clothes ye can borrow if needed. Get changed and let’s go.”
Lucien didn’t wait for Elain, rushing out of his office and letting Elain trail behind him. He led them to the garden and the same wall she had found him at last night.
“The way to the stable will have too many people about,” Lucien explained at her confused look. “If we go over the back garden wall, we can sneak to the stable and avoid everyone.”
“So I caught you as you were leaving last night?”
Lucien grunted his confirmation. “Come, I’ll hoist ye up.”
After they climbed over the stonewall—Elain with Lucien’s help—they quietly crept across the castle grounds to the stables, where a small donkey laden with bags and a sturdy, chestnut horse were waiting. The horse glanced at Elain and stomped a single hoof on the ground, casting an annoyed glance at the inevitable extra weight that would be on his back for the foreseeable future.
“This is Ajax,” Lucien said, giving the horse a solid slap on its hindquarters before moving to the donkey. “He can be a bastard when he feels like it and doesna’ take kindly to strangers so go gently. Don’t tell me ye’ve never been on a horse before,” Lucien groaned, seeing the trepidation on Elain’s face.
“Of course I haven’t! It’s completely un-ladylike!”
“Not sure that’s how I’d describe ye,” Lucien muttered. “Yes, yes, yell at me all ye like later—for now, just get on the damn horse so we can be off.”
Glaring at her husband, Elain cautiously approached the horse, quietly yelping when it gave a warning snicker to her as she approached. She hooked a foot in a stirrup and glanced at Lucien helplessly. “Do I just…?”
Sighing, Lucien walked over from where he was securing the donkey and firmly gripped her hips, lifting her up and swinging one leg over the horse. Elain clung to the reins for dear life as she settled on the animal.
“This isn’t so bad,” Elain remarked lightly. “Where’s your horse?”
“Only the one.” Lucien hopped up behind on the horse, sitting in the worn saddle and pulling Elain flush to his front between his thick thighs. “We really doona have any more to spare.”
Elain gulped, turning to look at Lucien. He was so close to her. “So we’ll be riding like this, all the way to Sangravah?”
“Aye,” Lucien smirked, reaching around Elain to grab the reigns. “Just ye and me, all alone, for months. Hope yer not regretting yer decision.”
Elain tilted her head up, refusing to give Lucien any satisfaction. “Not at all. Lead on.”
Lucien raised an eyebrow, then began guiding the horse out of the stable, the donkey following. His large hand settled on Elain’s hip, keeping her steady on the swaying horse. His powerful thighs guided the horse out of the castle walls and down the road, towards the forest, with only the bright moon overhead to guide them.
This was all so ridiculous and dangerous and so unlike Elain that she pinched herself to make sure this wasn’t a dream. It wasn’t: she was on a horse traveling through the Scottish Highlands with nothing but some borrowed clothes, her mysterious and strong husband, and her own determination and stubbornness.
Elain could imagine her sister’s reactions. Nesta would surely panic if she heard the true nature of her sudden departure, and Feyre would be sullen and jealous that she wasn’t invited.
But that’s what was so great about all of this, Elain realized. Her sisters weren’t here. It was just Elain and Lucien. Before, the thought of being alone with her husband would have filled her with dread. But now, after it was clear they were at least attracted to each other, the prospect didn’t seem so terrible.
There was nothing ahead of her but the wild Scottish highlands, and Elain knew whatever she had been looking forward to her entire life was out there somewhere.
#elucien#lucien vanserra#elain archeron#pro elucien#acotar#acotar fic#acotar fanfiction#a court of thorns and roses#fic rec#my fics#starting this chapter with a bang lmao
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the day i died,
i didn't tell
my body.
- jasmine mans [ xxx ]
#oc: briar lockwood#a break from our regularly scheduled bg3 ocs for my vengeful soft baby#my little half-turned vampire gorl#mine*#mine*briar#unholymilf
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PROJECT HALF-A MASTERPOST
Government Experiment AU where the Dan's (Dan/Danny/Dani) are created in a GIW lab to investigate the Ghost Zone after Jack and Maddie create the Ghost Portal. In this AU the GZ is radioactive and slowly kills any humans who venture inside so the GIW decide to create human ghost hybrids in order to further their research and capture additional subjects for their experiments.
Story told through GIW quarterly reports similar to SCP lab journal stories.
QUARTERLY REPORT 001
GHOST PORTAL OPENED, REQUIREMENT OF CONTAINMENT, AGENTS VOLUNTEER FOR EXPLORATION MISSION
GHOST PORTAL INCIDENT REPORT 00001
DR. MASTERS OPENS GHOST PORTAL
GHOST PORTAL INCIDENT REPORT 00002
THE BOX GHOST BREACHES THE PORTAL
QUARTERLY REPORT 002
CREATION OF FENTON THERMOS & SPECTER SPEEDER, FIELD TEAM THETA FORMED, ADDITIONAL REPORTS ATTACHED
FIELD TEAM THETA DOSSIER
FIELD TEAM THETA PSYCH EVAL
MISSION REPORT GZ-001
FIELD TEAM THETA REPORT ON THE FIRST GZ EXPLORATION MISSION.
AUDIO LOG 001
Planned posts below:
MEDICAL REPORT XXXXX
VLAD REMAINS COMATOSE, EFFECTS OF PORTAL EXPOSURE, TREATMENTS
QUARTERLY REPORT XXX
AGENTS REPORT ON DISCOVERIES IN THE GZ AND SIDE EFFECTS OF DIMENSIONAL TRAVELS
INCIDENT REPORT XXXXX
AGENTS DEVELOP ECTO-ILLNESS FROM GZ EXPOSURE
INCIDENT REPORT XXXXX
COMPILED REPORT OF DEATHS FROM ALL AGENTS ON THE GZ EXPEDITION
QUARTERLY REPORT XXX
START OF PROJECT HALFA, DRS. FENTON VOLUNTEER GENETIC MATERIAL
MEDICAL REPORT XXXX
VLAD RESPONDS POSITIVELY TO ECTOPLASMIC STIMULUS, REMAINS COMATOSE BUT SIGNS OF IMPROVED CONDITION
QUARTERLY REPORT XXX
CREATION OF FIRST HYBRID SUBJECT D.A.N. (DUAL APPARITION FOR NAVIGATION). APPOINTMENT OF PSYCHIATRIST JASMINE FENTON TO THE TEAM TO MANAGE SUBJECTS OF PROJECT HALFA
PSYCH EVALUATION XXXX
DR. JASMINE FENTON'S REPORT ON D.A.N.
QUARTERLY REPORT XXX
RESULTS OF DEVELOPMENT OF D.A.N.
MEDICAL REPORT XXXX
DR. MASTERS AWAKENS FROM COMA. DNA HAS BEEN PERMANENTLY ALTERED DUE TO EXPOSURE FROM THE PORTAL. HYPOTHESIZED HE MAY BE ABLE TO SURVIVE CONDITIONS IN THE GZ
PSYCH EVALUATION XXXX
DR. JASMINE FENTON'S REPORT ON DR. MASTERS FOLLOWING HIS ACCIDENT
INCIDENT REPORT XXXXX
D.A.N. BREACHES CONTAINMENT, ENCOUNTERS VLAD
QUARTERLY REPORT XXX
DR. MASTERS REASSIGNED FROM RESEARCH TEAM ALPHA TO NEWLY CREATED FIELD TEAM EPSILON TO DIRECT OPERATIVES IN GZ
PSYCH EVALUATION XXXX
DR. JASMINE FENTON'S REPORT ON D.A.N. AND DR. MASTERS FOLLOWING THE ESTABLISHMENT OF FIELD TEAM EPSILON
MISSION REPORT XXX
FAILURE TO SUBDUE ECTOPLASMIC ENTITY DUE TO INSUBORDINATION
QUARTERLY REPORT XXX
WORK BEGINS ON THE CREATION OF D.A.N.N.Y. (DUAL APPARITION FOR NETHER NAVIGATION YOUTH).
QUARTERLY REPORT XXX
ANNOUNCEMENT OF SUCCESS ON CREATION OF D.A.N.N.Y., EXPECTED TIMELINE FOR INCORPORATION INTO FIELD TEAM EPSILON
PSYCH EVALUATION XXXX
DR. JASMINE FENTON'S REPORT ON D.A.N.N.Y.
Basics on Danny’s behavior, interactions with Dan, interactions with Vlad, etc.
QUARTERLY REPORT XXX
RESULTS OF EXPANDING FIELD TEAM EPSILON, ADDITIONAL EXPANSION WOULD PROVE BENEFICIAL, SHORTCOMINGS OF CURRENT TEAM
PSYCH EVALUATION XXXX
DR. JASMINE FENTON'S REPORT ON FIELD TEAM EPSILON FOLLOWING INTRODUCTION OF D.A.N.N.Y
QUARTERLY REPORT XXX
CREATION OF D.A.N.I. (DUAL APPARITION FOR NAVIGATION AND INFILTRATION)
PSYCH EVALUATION XXXX
DR. JASMINE FENTON'S REPORT ON D.A.N.I.
#project halfa#danny phantom#dani phantom#dan phantom#danny phantom au#H.A.L.F.A. = Hybrid Apparitional Life Form Agent#The Dans (Dan/Danny/Dani) were created in a Ghost Investigation Ward lab after the invention of the ghost portal#anything I have listed for planned is either outlined or drafted already#roadmap included but subject to change as I finish final drafts#cause of post character limits something outline as single entries may become multiple#danny and dani are the same age#cause i like them as twins#literally no other reason#can anyone think of a better word starting with y for Danny cause let me say I fucking struggled#danny fenton#phandom#dark danny#jack and maddie fenton#jazz fenton#ghost investigation ward#phanfic#danny phantom fanfic#non canon compliant#dp au#fanfic prompt#fanfic#dp fanfic#Government Experiment AU
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I’ve been sharing snips from these stories on discord and I mentioned most of them to @austennerdita2533 and I know @crazychicke is also a fan of this ship. And I’m excited these are the first multi chapters I’m doing for this ship. I don’t know when they are going to come out but I’m currently working on them.
Story number 1: while slaying something happens and Buffy falls unconscious. Luckily spike was slaying with her and caught her when he takes her home. dawn wants him to move in with them cause he promised Buffy he would take care of dawn. Buffy is unconscious they are using spike as a heart rate monitor. Willow calls Wesley to help and team angel shows up to help. Season 6 is still going on even though she is unconscious. Buffy is in a dream world where she is a popular teenager in LA high school there are no monsters or demons. Everyone is there including but not limited to human teenage spike, Angel, darla, dru, Cordelia, oz.
“Forever is a long time, what if something happens or…”
“Or we break up.”
Buffy nods as they enter the cemetery. Her and spike have been dating for a couple weeks now. Last night after they had sex Spike had brought up the topic of claim. Saying they could claim each other.
Spike turns towards her and she is looking around the cemetery. He takes her hands in his. “I love you and I know you like me too.”
Buffy avoids his eyes but can only avoid his look for a minute then looks at him. “You’re right I do like you, why do you want to claim me? Do you do that with all your girlfriends.”
He raises an eyebrow and smirks. He never realized just how much that word would mean to him. “Girlfriend?”
A vampire comes up behind them and before Buffy can respond to spike she turns around and stakes the vampire in the heart. “What no…. I mean.”
He laughs as he stakes another vampire. Can’t they wait to rise until he and Buffy finish their conversation. It’s a matter of respect these baby vampires know nothing, even when he was evil he still had manners.
“Shut up spike.” Buffy kicks a vampire trying to attack her as she stakes him.
He laughs again and she glares at him taking a punch in the jaw from another vampire. “I never have with anyone else. Not even with Drusilla, harmony was never my girlfriend.”
She jumps up from the ground still shocked by what he said about how he has never claimed someone not even Drusilla. She punches the vampire coming at her then stakes him.
Spike dusts the vampire that was trying to fight him when he looks over at the slayer he sees that she has dusted hers too but is wobbling. He runs over to her and thankfully gets there just as she passes out. He catches her and picks her up bridal style. “I got you luv. We’ll go back to my crypt and see what’s wrong.”
Buffy moves in his arms as he carries her she doesn’t even try to object to him picking her up. She lays her head on his shoulder. Her breathing is being shallow, he doesn’t smell any blood on her so he knows she is not injured but something is wrong with her.
Xxx
Story 2: Buffy gets pregnant during season 6 doesn’t know she’s pregnant just thinks it’s stress. Spike is the father. Dawn finally gets Buffy to go to the doctor and when they find out she is pregnant. She’s scared to tell spike, when she does tell him he decides to get his soul. Buffy and dawn deal with her pregnancy. They find spike in the school basement and Buffy takes him home. He doesn’t have a trigger. During her last month shit hits the fan the first takes spike. Giles comes with potentials. The night she rescues spike and kills an Uber vamp she goes into labor. Together as parents they decide to send their baby to angel investigations to protect. La is safer then a hellmouth, bringers, Uber vamps, and Caleb. What they didn’t know angel investigations is dealing with angelus in a cage, and Cordelia/jasmine. And now they have to take care of spuffy baby.
Glass breaking, the noise of not only two bodies slamming into each other with a powerful force, the moans, cries of ecstasy and growls, but also them banging against bookcases and shelves occasionally hitting and scratching each other all echo through out the cavernous downstairs of Spike’s crypt.
Spike rolls off Buffy, both of them breathing heavily, for Buffy it’s necessary after a workout like that, for spike some human things have stuck and he breaths even though he doesn’t need the oxygen. Both of them are on the floor under and on top of multiple carpets. She can’t feel the cold earth underneath her. She looks back at the untouched bed it’s the only thing that was not messed up in their latest sex marathon.
“We missed the bed again.”
Spike still laying down glances behind him at the bed. “Lucky for the bed.”
Buffy lets out a little smile as she leans up up on her elbows. Spike leans into her shoulder. Memorized by her he always is, he always make it a point to compliment her after every round. “You were amazing.”
“You got the job done yourself.”
“I was just trying to keep up, the way you make it hurt in all the right places.” He leans further into her shoulder.
Buffy changing the subject knowing this conversation can’t end well. “You did a good job fixing this place up it’s cozy.”
“I ate a decorator once maybe something stuck.”
She can’t help the chuckle that escapes her lips. “I’ve been thinking of doing something with my room, you know new life, new hair, new sex, why not new bedroom.”
It’s a hit or a miss if they talk after sex sometimes, sometimes they do and sometimes it’s a quickie and then she’s gone. They usually do it in his crypt or that one time in that building they brought down. He likes when they talk after because when she runs off right after it feels like one of his daydreams he is just waking up and instead of Buffy he’s still with Harmony. When they talk after they see a different side to the other. They are coming down from their highs and they are vulnerable in front of each other.
Spike’ fingers graze her arm as he looks up at her. “And you want my help picking out furniture?” There’s a teasing tone in his voice, and his cold fingers grazing her hot skin is making her crumble. She wish she knew why they have this effect on each other. They say they hate each other but they can never stay away from each other. Since she’s been back it’s like she sees him differently, she really does believe he loves her and she likes him. They get each other in a way nobody else has before.
She looks up at him through hooded lashes, looking all innocent when they both know she is far from that, he still has the bite marks to prove it. Plus they’ve been trying to make it to the bed for the last five hours.“Well you did eat a decorator maybe something stuck.”
In an instant Spike Is hovering over her leaning down and attacking her lips. She moans into the kiss and pulls him even closer. Her legs are still not working from the last couple of rounds they had.
Xxx
Story 3: before Buffy came to sunnydale spike stumbled upon her and turned her into a vampire and making her his Childe. He is still working on curing Drusilla from what that mob did to her in Prague. While teaching baby vampire Buffy how to be a vampire. He is not going to do what angelus did to him. He is not torturing buffy or making her prove she is vampire nuff for him. He is tender and understanding to her. When spike and Drusilla do go to sunnydale Buffy comes with them for one spike is her sire and he’s still teaching her second she can help with Drusilla after all that is her grandsire. Kendra is the slayer on the hellmouth. Buffy never met Giles. Or Willow or Xander. She doesn’t know who Angel is other then spike does not like him and Drusilla does. Buffy helps spike cure Drusilla. Spike and Buffy’s relationship is more then sire/Childe he loves Drusilla but he also loves Buffy.
Spike opens the door of his DeSoto and he puts his hand out for Dru to take, once she is out of the car she looks around and in her quiet voice says. “Angel.”
He looks over at her he didn’t feel Angel around but maybe her sense is stronger because he turned her. “He’s here too? I’m getting us something to eat.”
She leans into him and says dreamily. “I’m a princess.”
“That you are.”
Before he can say anything else Dru leaves he knows exactly where she is going, she thought she smelt her precious Angel. He just worries about her. She hasn’t been the same since Prague. Spike smells blood and fear and it’s Intoxicating. He follows the smell to Hemery high school. As he is walking up to the school he looks back and swears he faintly smells Angel. But the blood is more potent in the gym. Where lothos was feeding from a blonde teenage girl in a white dress.
When lothos sees Spike he drops the girl. “Spike! it’s been while how are you?”
Spike shrugs his shoulders as he looks around everyone here is already dead it’s disappointing. “Good kinda hungry.”
“Welcome to my buffet. You’re welcome to have anyone.”
As Spike looks around his eyes come across the blonde in the white dress she is still alive and looking up at him with pleading eyes. Her beauty is astonishing. He’s never seen someone so beautiful she glowing the poet in him wants to use the word effulgent. He feels horrible for this thought but she might be more beautiful than his dark princess. The way her green eyes have locked on to his and there’s so much emotion there but there’s also a will to live. He can’t let a beauty like this die and rot.
He bends down to the young woman and puts his arm under her neck to bring her to a sitting position. He asks her the same thing Drusilla asked him over a hundred years ago. “Do you want to walk worlds the others can’t begin to imagine?”
She can’t speak blood has begin to pool in her throat she nods her head. And Spike’s demon come out and he slides his fangs into the holes left by lothos he draws her blood and it tastes different but familiar. He hears her heart slowing down even more and on the last beat he pulls his fangs out.
He takes one of his fingers nails and makes a slice at his neck then brings the limp girl to his neck. He softly says. “Drink luv and come join the world.”
Barely alive she musters all the strength she has and sinks her human teeth into his neck and drinks his blood she can’t believe it it’s so gross but she can’t stop.
After a couple mouthfuls she dies in his arms.
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book recs that aren’t super difficult to find?
You know what anon fair ahahaha 😂
I’ll do my best!! (But also keep in mind I haven’t read all of these - so I can’t say much in terms of trigger warnings or how good they all are )
(But also if this about Galveston 1900: Swept Away and The Grass Widow , you can currently get kindle versions of them!) the same goes for other ones on this list , if physical copies are hard to find i either read it online or had a kindle copy (especially for the graphic novels - many have been read online or via apps that offer them )
< lesbian and bisexual women >
- Manga/Graphic Novels
* Kase- San and Morning Glories
* Beauty And The Beast girl
* goodbye to my rose garden
* our teachers are dating
* ring my bell
* love lily /love lily (depending on the site)
* impulse
* Magan and Danai
* dykes to watch out for
* jane’s world
* collectors
* renai idenshi
* tamen de guishi
*moonlight garden
* the two of them are pretty much like this
* bittersweet con panna
* still sick
*on a leash
* you are always crafty
* Sora haena
* doughnuts under a crescent moon
* a joyful life
* girlfriends (this was my first one 🥺)
* secret of the princess
* pixels of you
*roadqueen : eternal crush
* motorcrush
* always human
*kiss it goodbye
*thats Ms Bulldyke to you
* Amongst Us
*pregnant butch : nine long months in drag
*fun home
*giant days
(I’m going to stop here because I feel like it’s getting kind of long ahaha)
- Fiction books
* stuff by Bridget Essex / s.e diemer (if you want some light , cheesy and some easy reads)
* Annabel and I
* Roses and Thorns
* Crossing The Wide Forever
* sword of the guardian
* lily of the tower
* in the distance there is light
* Lancelot : Her Story
* the better to kiss you with
* she gets the girl
* backwards to Oregon
* tell it to the bees
*anne on my mind
* fire logic (it’s a fantasy series)
* luminous dead
* around the houses (I think? I don’t know if it’s OOP or not)
* love at cooper’s creek
* whiskey sunrise
*awake unto me
* shaken to the core
* water’s edge
* a hole in the world
* courting the countess
* survival instincts
* my secrets your lies
* the fate of stars
* the jasmine throne
* architects of memory
* notes of a crocodile
* legends and lattes
* princess of dorsa
*the space between worlds
* written in the stars
* the abyss surrounds us
* honey girl
* passing strange
*the lilac mines
* everyone in this room will someday be dead
Not a complete list but I’m hoping I was able to get a few different genres in there ^_^
< gay and bisexual men >
- Graphic Novels and manga
* our dining table
*restart after growing hungry
* secret xxx
* never understand
* my brother’s husband
* I think our son is gay
* check please
* fence
*bloom
* tipping over you
* the less then epic adventures of Tj and Amal
* koisuru barairo tenchou
* joou to shitateya
* zankoku na kami ga shihaisuru (definitely very intense and triggering)
* letters for Lucardo
* taproot
* what did you eat yesterday ?
* Fake
* other boys
- Fiction
* Honesty
*bear , otter and the kid series
* anything by Ginn Hale
* luck in the shadows
* all that’s left in the world
* wonders of the invisible world
* the man who fell in love with the moon
* Aristotle and Dante discover the secrets of the universe
* the stone prince
* the way you are
* the prince’s boy ( by Paul Bailey)
* the god eaters (last time I checked the author had a version online you could read for free)
* survivor stories by JP Barnaby
* the living one
* brute
* when skies have fallen
* confessions of a mask
* memorial
* this is kind of an epic love story
* wolfsong
* the last Romeo
* young mungo
* Beijing comrades
* swimming in the dark
* less
* the page turner
* hide
I think I did an okay job of spreading across genres for this one too aha.
But thank you very much for the ask! I hope maybe you are able to find some on there that interest you! But as I said I haven’t read all of these so please be sure to look up revised and trigger warning lists if you are worried :)
I hope you have a great day! 💕
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Any Questions?
So I've been writing for going on five years now! I know for a fact I'm not the best writer around, but I think my stuff is pretty decent! I was wondering if anyone had any questions, whether it be about writing advice, spelling, proofreading, or if you want me to read something you've written to give you more confidence in your skills! Let me know if that's something you're interested in and send me a message or an ask! Love you guys! Xxx
EDIT: I'm sorry to the people that see this looking for a fic, I just tagged the fandoms I write about or want to write about, sorry again!
#advice#writing advice#writing#help#writer stuff#fanfiction#proofreading#editing#spencer reid x reader#bnha headcannons#x reader#teen wolf#criminal minds
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Hey Isa! For the cafe asks, could I have: Jasmine Tea, Iced Cafe Mocha and Green Tea, please? xxx
Thank for the ask, Alex 🤗
🫖 If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
The Bodleian Library at Oxford. The place is simply magnificent and a paradise for any book lovers.
☕ Favorite thing to do on rainy days?
Read. I'm a basic YA protagonist 🤣
🍵 How tall are you?
1.65m I have no idea how to convert that to inches 😅 But hey, i'm shorter than Cill 🤭
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Oh you have no idea Jasmine how silly my smile looks when we talk. It's ridiculous.
Awww tysm xxx I always smile when we talk aswell
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LIVE WIRE SERIES ✨
↳ fruity four -> the mixtape (x)
i. don’t stop me now. ii. wake me up before you go-go. iii. the power of love. iv. killer queen. v. take on me. vi. africa. vii. don’t go breaking my heart. viii. twist and shout. ix. holding out for a hero. x. girls just want to have fun. xi. come on eileen. xii. livin’ on a prayer. xiii. escape (the pina colada song). xiv. i’ll be there for you. xv. i wanna rock. xvi. welcome to the jungle. xvii. you give love a bad name. xviii. cherry pie. xix. the final countdown. xx. back in black. xxi. master of puppets. xxii. eye of the tiger. xxiii. separate ways (worlds apart). xxiv. we’re not gonna take it. xxv. live wire. xxvi. old time rock & roll. xxvii. girls, girls, girls. xxviii. rock you like a hurricane. xxix. wanted dead or alive. xxx. hells bells. ( click here to listen )
tag list 🧚🏻♂️: @genyazafin @moirei @dio-nysvs @kiara-carrera @fleetwoodmcs @daisyjohvson @aaudace @jessiemieli @chlobenet @iron-parkr @reyskestis @luucypevensie @princes-jasmine @julianblackthcrns @darkwolf76 @megdonnellys @delicateblackrose @bravelittleflower @lepetitchoux @fiercefray @misshiraeth98 @itsjustgracy @fragilestorm @notanannoyingfangirl @phoebestarks @ichorwithwine @darkling-er @starlightocs @lovehermioneforever @eddiemunscns @stanshollaand
mitch’s taglist 🧚🏻♂️: @marisurmommy
[ want to be added/removed? click here! ]
#fyeahstrangerthingsocs#ocappreciation#allaboutocs#queerocs#mitch munson#live wire#stranger things oc#robin buckley x oc#my ocs#my edits#the first image took over FOUR FUCKING HOURS#and it's literally bc i had ZERO pics of eddie so i took a picture off joseph. got rid of his facial hair. AND had to literally torture...#myself to get his shag right bc holy fucking hell i will never ever do that kind of sorcery again#but anyways enjoy the gays playlist
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may flowers
"can words describe the fragrance of the very breath of spring?" - neltje blanchan
༺♡︎༻
Hello and welcome! This event may be starting late, but alas I wanted to host it either way! Come frolick in the fields with me!
༺♡︎༻
Running time: 12 March - 21 June
Event type: drabbles (by prompt and request!)
Guide: simply send in your request with one of the 55 prompts and add a character! There will be no limit to the drabbles I will write, and you can request for multiple! I may however, decline your request if I am not inspired.
The characters for this event will be all of the characters from bungou stray dogs, vanitas no carte, twisted wonderland, castlevania, and tears of themis! I am expanding my rules for this event since I would like to become well-versed in the majority of characters!
༺♡︎༻
prompts (based on flower language):
i. - ambrosia: "your love is reciprocated"
ii. - apple: "temptation"
iii. - blue rock bindweed: "repose; night"
iiii. - pink carnation: "i'll never forget you"
v. - cyclamen: "resignation; goodbye"
vi. - daffodil: "unrequited love"
vii. - enchanter's nightshade: "witchcraft; sorcery"
viii. - evergreen thorn: "solace in adversity"
ix. - everlasting pea: "lasting pleasure"
x. - fern: "magic; fascination"
xi. - forget-me-not: "memories"
xii. - gardenia: "secret love"
xiii. - dark geranium: "melancholy"
xiv. - gloxinia: "love at first sight"
xv. - hazel: "reconciliation"
xvi. - heliotrope: "devotion; faithfulness"
xvii. - purple hyacinth: "i am sorry; please forgive me"
xviii. - hydrangea: "thank you for understanding"
xix. - iris: "your friendship means so much to me"
xx. - ivy: "wedded love"
xxi. - spanish jasmine: "sensuality"
xxii. - jonquil: "desire for affection returned"
xxiii. - lily of the valley: "sweetness"
xxiv. - lotus: "eloquence"
xxv. - magnolia: "nobility"
xxvi. - marigold: "jealousy"
xxvii. - mistletoe: "kiss me"
xxviii. - orchid: "beauty"
xxix. - pansy: "thoughts"
xxx. - blue periwinkle: "early friendship"
xxxi. - persimon: "bury me amid nature's beauties"
xxxii. - petunia: "resentment; anger"
xxxiii. - pomegranate flower: "mature elegance"
xxxiv. - white poppy: "consolation"
xxxv. - primrose: "i can't live without you"
xxxvi. - raspberry: "remorse"
xxxvii. - rhododendron: "beware; danger"
xxxviii. - dark crimson rose: "mourning"
xxxix. - tea rose: "i'll remember always"
xl. - white rose: "i am worthy of you"
xli. - moss rosebud: "confessions of love"
xlii. - sweet scabious: "widowhood"
xliii. - snowdrop: "hope"
xliv. - spider flower: "elope with me"
xlv. - starwort: "afterthought"
xlvi. - stonecrop: "tranquility"
xlvii. - yellow sweetbrier: "decrease of love"
xlviii. - tamarisk: "crime"
xlix. - variegated tulip: "beautiful eyes"
l. - vine: "intoxication"
li. - blue violet: "i'll always be there"
lii. - viscaria: "will you dance with me?"
liii. - water willow: "freedom"
liv. - winter cherry: "deception"
lv. - yellow zinnia: "daily remembrance"
#2022 may flowers event#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd x reader#vnc#vanitas no carte#vnc x reader#twst#twisted wonderland#twst x reader#coff writes for bsd🥂#coff writes for vnc🍷#coff writes for twst🍸
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Hi babes, how are you? I've not caught up on all the Livy x Alfie drama, but I adore what I've read so far and I'm endlessly fascinated by your OC!! Would you please answer sunflower, violet and jasmine?
Hello Lee! Eek … thanks so much for asking about Livy and indulging my obsession! 😂🙈
Sunflower - What name(s) were you originally thinking of calling your OC?
Livy is short for Olivia and that was always going to be her name, but when I started writing the nickname just came to me! (And now I can’t imagine calling her Olivia — too proper!)
Violet - Do a voice claim for your OC
I imagine Livy looking like Christina Hendricks, but never thought about her voice! So I just went and googled some scenes from Mad Men and I think she’d be perfect. Just add a British accent 😜
youtube
And as a little bonus, this is the dress I imagined Livy wearing to the fundraiser in On Your Best Behaviour.
Jasmine - If your OC had a tumblr blog, what would their URL be?
Hmm 🤔… how about bladesandbellinis 🔪 🥂
Livy loves knives and champagne cocktails!
Thanks again for the ask xxx
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