#It's hard also because I'm trying to stick to facts in my posts rather than going hard on the narratives
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Kira and Julian in Life Support
Feelings 1:
Bareil, as far as I can see, has never called her Major on screen, called her Kira a few times before they got together and then called her Nerys very consistently, notably in The Collaborator.
But in this episode, he doesn't call her by name once. But when he wakes up from the brain surgery, this happens:
"Bareil?"
"Yes, Major?"
AND I AM SO DEVASTATED FOR HER.
Feelings 2:
Just Kira and Julian's whole interactions with each other:
(For context: Julian usually calls her Major; "Kira!" has been used once when rescuing her, and "Nerys" once when he was flirting. Kira usually calls him "Doctor"; "Julian" has been used on three occasions, once under duress when he was flirting, twice when she was protesting his orders to take a break.)
Julian breaks the news that Bareil has died
"Thank you Doctor. I'm on duty in Ops. Excuse me."
"Kira. I think they can get along without you in Ops today."
Kira slides into her usual formality, since she's using work to distract from grief. Julian drops his usual formality and gently calls her by a friendly, but not intimate name.
When he is debating the first brain surgery with Kira and Winn
"I think she's right, Julian. I think Bareil would want the positronic implants."
"Kira, if I go through with this, the man who wakes up may not be the man you used to know."
"I realise that, but I know how important this is to him, and I know he wouldn't want to just be put into stasis indefinitely, waiting for some medical solution that may never come. Do the surgery, Julian. Let him finish what he started."
Kira begins to his name as she tries to persuade him. Julian continues to call her Kira; almost unthinkingly, he's more concerned about saving Bareil than about Kira's feelings here.
When Bareil is dying.
"It's the other half of his brain, isn't it? But you can still help him can't you? You can replace the other half of his brain with a positronic matrix."
"I'm sorry, Nerys, but this is where it ends."
....
"Julian, you can't give up now."
"Nerys, if I remove the rest of his brain and replace it with a machine, he may look like Bareil, he may even talk like Bareil, but he won't be Bareil. The spark of life will be gone. He'll be dead. And I'll be the one who killed him."
Kira continues to use his name to cajole him into saving Bareil - You're Julian, you're my friend, why won't you help me, Julian?
But there is no way for Julian to offer Kira comfort here, and he knows it. So he does the only thing he can, dropping every formality and identifying himself as her close friend by using her given name - even as he tells her he has to let the man she loves die.
#I can't write#This is all so much softer in my head#But I hope my meaning is conveyed?#It's hard also because I'm trying to stick to facts in my posts rather than going hard on the narratives I could imagine happening#It's hard also because I'm trying to stick to facts in my posts rather than going hard on the narratives#Man this episode was sad enough without it also being their first /real conversation with both given names being used#Kirashir#Kira Nerys#Julian Bashir#Julian & Kira#I love these two and this episode is too sad#Meaning: I love it#andi's spreadsheet project#my trek musings#WSB
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🔥 about each member of the mighty nein (instead of sending you a million separate asks lol)
Fjord - this is actually the only character from all of Critical Role where if someone does not like that character I am immediately done with anything they have to say. Ashton and Vex are my favorites from C3 and C1 respectively but I get not being particularly into what they're doing even if I disagree, but like, if you don't like Fjord you either have no understanding of the idea of characters being defined by their settings and narratives and vice versa and therefore you have no media analysis statements worth hearing; or you made a snap judgement based on like 20 minutes of campaign 2.
Beau - I wish the circlet had gone to Veth; I liked Beau's arc a lot but she started as one of my favorites and was later surpassed by a number of other characters and I think it was in part because I liked her getting things the hard way and also doing more with the Cobalt Soul and Dairon than she ultimately ended up doing.
Caleb - I think I kind of covered it with my post about his trauma recently, namely, I think he's a fantastic character and Liam did a great job and also whenever someone acts like Caleb is objectively correct at all times or should have murdered everyone in the assembly it's a MASSIVE red flag.
Veth - weirdly unpopular in this fandom but I like her more as a halfling. Also, I actually think arcane trickster was a phenomenal fit for Sam mechanically even though he wants more spells and would love to see him do another 1/3rd or half caster.
Jester - I feel I've covered my main one repeatedly (people LOVED to talk about her agency and the second she kissed the wrong person she was suddenly a stupid baby girl who didn't know what was good for her) so I think my other one is that as with all of Laura's characters she is much more fun, especially early on, if you lean into the fact that she does say a lot of shit that makes people really uncomfortable or annoyed instead of trying to turn this into a SHE LOVES SO HARD AND NO ONE LISTENS because both can be true, your love can come out in ways that people are very annoyed by, this is how cats feel all the time actually, and so much of Jester's arc is figuring out how to share this love in a way that other people can appreciate without losing her own personality in the process.
Caduceus - I've also covered this a zillion times but I will say it again, Caduceus deflected so many attempts to check in with him and he does not want to like, fix Molaesmyr, he was not neglected, he was built out to be a character who was more of a low-key support guy and Taliesin did an incredible job with that.
Molly - honestly my unpopular opinion remains that I simply found him very well built and a great concept and also irritating as hell, and the Nein's response to him was valid but the fandom's post-death lionization was very tiresome. I'm genuinely not sure the party could have bonded the way they ultimately did if someone who was throwing around "enthrall" like that were still around.
Kingsley - now, while I don't mind if you dislike Kingsley, acting like Kingsley and Molly are the same character is actually equal to the not liking Fjord thing; that's an instant "this person's interpretations of media are so bad I am blocking so as to not accidentally see anything they have to say."
Yasha - I'm not sure I have any unpopular opinions? I do think she is at times underappreciated but I also think specifically she is, like Caleb, a victim of the terrible and weirdly common fandom idea that the only way to move on from abuse and horror is by killing everyone and everything that hurt you rather than rejecting violence and finding your own path and your own meaning.
Essek - sticking specifically to his role in the Nein, again, I love Essek and he is a member of the party and also he is an NPC and acting deeply offended that he doesn't get the same treatment in terms of comic books or merch or appearances in one-shots is very childish.
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Knowing how much Ahsoka struggled to be Sabine's master --- would she get advice from Kanan when she visits Lothal? Most likely giant wolf to giant wolf??
Wellll see I kinda ditched the entire Jedi!Sabine narrative. Listen if they HAD to go that direction, I believe they could have done it well but they really did not (to put it generously), and while I've considered trying to do it better myself, at the end of the day I wish they just hadn't done that at all.
Tldr: Ahsoka and Kanan probably will have a giant wolf to giant wolf conversation but idk if it'll be about looking out for Sabine or searching for Ezra or what
So this is my tentative and unrefined interpretation of Ahsoka and Sabine's relationship for SWW Ahsoka, aka roughly how I imagined it would be like before that damn show ever came out (sorry in advance this spiraled all over the place. I meant to elaborate a little bit and then I couldn't stop. I tried to keep it concise but. There's a lot to unpack that I didn't expect to have to unpack in order to get to the point lol)
First and foremost Sabine isn't fucking Force-sensitive. Ahsoka teaches her a lot about the Jedi, and continues her lightsaber training, and I think Jedi teachings and excercises can have a lot of value to ordinary people! But she's not trying to be a Jedi. Ahsoka does feel mentorly instincts towards Sabine, partly bc she knows what she's going through as a very young veteren and genocide survivor. Partly bc she does feel the need to pass her knowledge on to someone. Partly bc deep down Ahsoka is pretty damn lonely too, and Sabine is very family-shaped. And also because wolfwalkers stick together.
They call her Ahsoka's 'practice padawan' as a joke. Huyang is like. You really ought to find a Padawan one of these days. And Ahsoka's like. Why would I need a Padawan I have Sabine. And Huyang is like. Listen I'm very happy to have Sabine with us but you ought to get a real Padawan.
But how could Ahsoka ever take on a student while she's still wrangling with whether or not she wants to be a Jedi? Which, they never actually show her making a decision on that. Or rather there's really no transition between "I am no Jedi" and whatever she's got going on in the show which. Long story short, I hated it. Ass writing. In my personal opinion.
I think I’m just gonna lean into the idea that she feels like she can't truly be a Jedi whether she wants to or not bc she was trained to be a soldier instead, combined with the fear of Anakin's darkness manifesting in herself, distrust of his training, etc. Up until the point where she decides to put Anakin behind her for good and trust in her own experiences, during her WBW adventure (which goes way differently in my head but I will elaborate on that later. Maybe.) But for the purposes of this au, she doesn't even commit to being a Jedi again until dying for the 3rd(?) time and honestly maybe she still doesn't. Maybe it takes all the way to wet puppy Shin dropping in her lap that she sees her path as a Jedi path. Idk.
Ahsoka's arc is not an aspect of the story I expected to address in depth myself so idk how much I'm gonna get into it within the comic itself. It's hard to go over every issue bc lothwolfwalkers is just an anthology series adapting small chunks of the timeline that I find work well with the wolfwalking, and I'm trying not to make more work for myself than I have to, bc I already have plenty. Rewrite is maybe a strong word, when I'm just cherry picking what I liked from the ahsoka show and adjusting what I didn't like in a way that keeps the overall plot intact for simplicity sake. I will eventually write an official detailed ahsoka-from-my-head post, but the comics will just be little scenes based on that.
Anyway,
Regarding Sabine and Ahsoka's falling out. It doesn’t happen. In fact I think Ahsoka will take Sabine under her wing after the fall of Mandalore and they just immediately start looking for Ezra in the unknown regions, bc Sabine is like hey I have nothing left here can we go look for my brother now. They don't find anything. Eventually Ahsoka gets wrapped up in other business and Sabine ends up back on Lothal depressed as fuck (despite Kanan, Hera, and Zeb's best efforts to be there for her, infinitely more than what is depicted in the show) until Ahsoka finds the map and shows up for round 2. Or smth like that.
Side note: I am going to declare the Wrens MIA not dead. Because I hate hate hate that they were unceremoniously killed off screen and wasted the way they were. I guess I could just unkill them completely but well I am a sucker for that angst and something about the devastation of that reveal seared it so deep in my head that I can't imagine the story without it now (thanks for that Dave. Fuck you Dave.) So uh, they're trapped on Mandalore with those other survivors from Mando S3. After Sabine's already left for Peridea they manage to finally get off Mandalore due to S3 events and track down Hera and are like WHERE IS SABINE. Cue Clan Wren Ghost Crew team up to get their fucking kids back. Though everyone will probably make it back on their own before they figure out a way to hop galaxies.
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Hey there!
So our system is more prone to introjects, which makes me (host) feel invalid and oftentimes confused on if it's an introject or if I'm just having strong attachments to characters
I know the brain can't really make new people from complete scratch, it has to use things it knows (like certain traits from different people and things etc) and have heard being autisic can make introjects more common due to latching to media and stuff as comfort, but I feel like I've noticed more introjects than brainmade (though I'm not 100% aware of everyone who's in the system)
Is there anything that could be said to help reassure us possibly? Or anything?
Thank you so much, and hopefully this made some sense
Hi anon! Thank you for giving me an excuse to make a post about introject-heavy systems!
So firstly, yes, autistic and ADHD people are more likely to be introject(specifically fictive)-heavy since the presence of special interests and hyperfixations alongside DID's dissociation can easily lead to dissociating to media that is the object of a SpIn or hyperfix. Really any system who tends to dissociate to/fixate on media is more likely to have more introjects.
And yes, it's a very real and valid experience to have more introjects than brainmade alters. We personally have more introjects than brainmades by quite a bit.
Fun fact for C-DID systems; fragments can tend to be introjects in some systems because it's easier for them to mimic an existing identity to fill the gap of them not having a fully formed one already. We have a lot of introject fragments who essentially grabbed the first existing identity they could, which incidentally makes it rather hard for us to tell who is and isn't a fragment 😭!
(Also, some polyfrag systems may experience that their fragments will introject a certain identity for a bit, but it doesn't 'stick' for whatever reason, leading the system to believe they are rapidly forming and subsequently losing introjects, when in reality it's fragments trying on new identities like clothes until something fits!)
Introjects are not a sign of faking, no matter how many. I've met systems who are 100% introjects, and that's perfectly valid! Introjects aren't any less than brainmade alters, and there's no validity or lackthereof attached to them.
Yes, even systems full of DSMP/MCYT introjects are valid. I'd just like to put that out there.
Hope this helped, anon! If I missed anything feel free to lmk, my responses to asks will likely be less formatted and planned than my standalone posts.
#info sys asks#did#osdd#introjects#polyfrag system#actually traumagenic#endos dni#traumagenic did#tulpas dni
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Do you have any particular inspirations for your artwork?
Hello!
I will preface this by stating that I draw way less than before for multiple reasons, so it's come to a point where all my inspirations are fuzzy in my mind. My visual library has been fueled a lot these last years but it's become passive to the point of not really thinking about it much anymore. The few times I draw for myself I rely solely on my comfort zone so it's become a feedback loop of trying to stick to my own art and where influences per se get drowed out. But answering this ask I will try really hard to find what got me to have various visual "it makes sense alright".
I won't also mention the influences I have for professional related works because they change all the time and when I'm a technician I don't feel like my style has that much of an importance.
So, my Influences :
Style wise I had a before-and-after feeling when I discovered the art of Alexei Kallima. His works focus on various themes but I really am inspired by his paintings depicting hooliganism and violence. His compositions for his series of the team of parachutist women are simply incredible.
Speaking of hooliganism, the short film I Love Hooligans by Jan-Dirk Bouw is also an inspiration.
For my traditional art, I use mostly a gel pen freehand for my sketches, which is my favorite way of drawing all things considered. I use a bit of watercolour occasionaly to make my sketches more lively. My main influence in that medium has to be Gipi and his comic books. My favourite ones are Appunti Per Una Storia Di Guerra and S.
You can absolutely see how I shamelessly copied his lines and features on his characters, I find them absolutely delightful.
My friend showed me a short film which was very similar in style, it's called Yul et le Serpent by Gabriel Harel. I loved it.
youtube
In terms of linework, Taiyo Matsumoto was also a before-and-after experience. I discoreved him with Amer Beton and Ping Pong and absolutely got won over style wise with Number Five. I now usually get a bit rougher with my ink lines with my pen like him. He gets different levels of detail and varies style depending on the feeling of a panel or the distance to the viewer. I joke saying he pretty much doesn't give a fuck about the character model and I wish I had that intuition about my own drawings. The animated adaptation of Ping Pong is probably my favorite anime, and inspires me greatly for my animation work. Once again playing with the medium.
My main "intuition" in art has always been colours. I love colouring my art and choosing what goes well with what and do the colour scripts for my projects and all. Movie wise the main guy who gets me creative is Rémi Chayé. The Long Way North is one of my favourite movies and the colours there are insanely good.
Otherwise I'm a huge fan of abstract art, I will only cite Rothko because it's the only one where I've seen his artwork in the flesh and I Get how his colours works organically.
Other abstract artists who inspire me, but not especially related to colours for my art are the russian avant-garde artists, I love constructivism and suprematism (I even got a tattoo of a work by Iakov Chernikhov, the one pictured in fact). So obviously Malevitch (regarding of the period), El Lissitzky, Rodchenko, Varvara Stepanova etc.
Ukrainian mosaic artists but in particular Galina Zubchenko.
For my personal art including my OCs my main inspiration is the photographer Robert Capa.
Another photographer I love is obviously Robert Mapplethorpe (two Roberts mentionned!).
You'll get that now I mostly draw stuff related to post apocalypse and/or wastelands scenarios, so the books Metro 2033, Roadside Picnic (a lot of books and novels from the Strugatski brothers in general). I tend to stick with an artisanal vision of these settings rather than a fully militarized one. I think it makes everything more interesting.
I can't not include obviously real footage and photographies of modern conflicts I guess.
I guess that's all I can think of "precisely" and can name with certainty. I also have a pinterest board for art inspiration if you want to check it out.
I hope that's not too disappointing of an answer and that it's at least interesting.
#look mom I answered one(1) ask my 2k24 resolutions are DONE#asks#for the others asks i'm sorry if i haven't answered i'm just very bad at them <3#for the one about my ocs... we'll see if i find stuff to say
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Hiya! I'm trying to write a Jewish character, can I have some help please? I really want to make her good positive representation
Sure thing! Though do keep in mind that I am only one girl from one stream of a religion that has itself a history of over three millennia, so I can only speak for what I know, that being Orthodox Judaism.
(also this is getting quite long, but I don't know what I expected- the rest is going under the cut.)
So one thing to keep in mind is that Judaism is more than just a religion. It's also a culture, and even just being raised around it- even if your character is secular (doesn't perform the commandments) or atheist/agnostic (doesn't believe God exists/doesn't know if God exists)- it will very much affect your character's mindset and possibly show up in their life in other ways.
In fact, the reason why I separated secular from atheist/agnostic is part of that- Judaism, due to putting more emphasis on the doing than the believing, doesn't really care if you actually believe in God. There are people who very much perform Judaism as a cultural ritual more than as a religion, and they are just as valid as the people who believe that God is there in every corner.
Okay, so what kind of cultural mentalities can you add?
For instance, the idea of proselytizing is forbidden in Judaism. So the way charity differs from tzedaka can be huge. Tzedaka comes from the root word tzedek, justice, and is seen as a way to help someone who's down on their luck to get back on their feet. Not an opportunity to convince them to join your religion. *stares angrily at American charity orgs*
This has a massive effect on how Jewish people see the world. Giving to and helping other people makes us happy, and that in itself is reward enough.
On the more cultural aspect, the menorahs you always see on TV shows? Inaccurate. Those are specific to one holiday, Chanukkah, which is not only a rather minor holiday but is also sometimes viewed as the "Jewish Christmas" when it really isn't. Instead, what any Jewish household would really have is books, and lots of them. The way we view the Tanach is very different from how a lot of Christians view the Bible- it's rarely literal- and so often you'll find a lot of books about Jewish law hanging around. Also, prayer books and candlesticks. Adult Jewish men are supposed to pray three times a day, so someone is bound to leave their prayer book lying around. And the candlesticks are from the "ceremony" (I say, struggling to find a better word) where we welcome Shabbat on Friday just before sunset. A lot of families keep them out all week.
Food is also massively important. Do your research on what's kosher and what's not (though if your character is Reform this may not apply as much- again, I speak from my own experience only) and try to stick to that. That might involve a Jewish character avoiding eating outside the house unless it's a packaged item (which they might check for kashrut symbols), or whispering a blessing before they eat. Kosher meat and cheese are both very hard to find outside of places with a lot of Jews, so they might be vegetarian.
I can't think of anything else right now, so I'll tag @unbidden-yidden because as a convert, they have much more experience with the mindset distinctions between Christianity and Judaism.
Jumblr, feel free to throw all your additions at this post- I need all the help I can get.
I hope this helped at least a little!
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Your answer to that summarized all of my thoughts perfectly, Ace! I started planning for what was going to be my first whumptober this year because I finally had the time and then gave up because it was just too difficult and I ended up lacking the motivation for it in the end.
I think there was the assumption that the vague, abstract ideas would be fun and help and allow people to get creative but they really, really didn't! I don't want to have to spend time wracking my brain for ideas when you're already stretched for time to get everything done as it is. I mean, come on, polaroid, scented candle, playing cards??? What on earth are we supposed to do with that?
On the other hand, When the prompts are too specific it just really limits what you can make and it's not only a case of are there even any examples of that out there but is it something I want to gif? Like okay, if I thought hard enough or did a bit of research, I could maybe think up one or two examples for a prompt but it may not be from a show or actor I even like. Gif making takes a lot of time and energy, so do I want to waste time giffing something I don't even enjoy just to complete the challenge? With a prompt like stabbed there's so much you can do with that. Or even something like oxygen mask, I can think of a tonne of examples. Like give us "sweat(y)" rather than something super specific like "sweat drenched sheets",. because you might as well be giving us "sweat drenched yellow t-shirt with a purple unicycling tabby cat simultaneously juggling and eating a 3 cheese pepperoni pizza on the front."
And the dialogue prompts are always a struggle, the fact we had 31 of those for whumptober made things so difficult. I mean "I'm not as stupid as you think I am," that's just so specific! If we have to have those there needs to be less of them, or they should just stick to words like "stay" or "breathe" where we can use that as part of a larger dialogue. Making it more specific like "stay with me," "please stay," just makes it harder.
Also, the distinct lack of care and comfort prompts is always so saddening. The comfort is just as important as the hurt itself to me. Give me things like hair stroking, carried, held etc. or hell, just comfort in general as a prompt on it's own.
And as you said, less whumper based prompts! There are other ways for a character to hurt without involving a whumper! Sick, fever, withdrawal, whatever. And I'd like more emotional based prompts too, because I've always preferred that over physical whump anyway!
I get it's going to be difficult to cater to everyone's wants and needs but I'd just love for things to be made a little easier is all.
Yes yes yes!!! Exactly!!! All of that!!! 👏👏👏
Oh my, you have no idea what a relief it is to know I'm not the only with these feelings! That I'm not the only gifmaker having trouble with those kinds of prompts, who wants more comfort and whumper less tropes! Thank you. God I'm glad I'm not alone. They're just so hard to think of examples that it feels like I spend 90% of my prep time finding scenes and then frantically trying to make the actual gifs just before it's time to post. Which is the fun part! The making is the fun part! And this takes away all the fun of it.
I am so seriously beginning to think I need to make a gif making prompt month challenge thing. It seems like a lot of us are on the same page lately and it'd be so nice to have a challenge designed for gifmaking specifically.
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this might get me cancelled so i'm doing it on anon. i genuinely think people in this fandom have a hard time grasping nuance - a lot of the time everything is very black and white.
my unpopular opinion would be that i don't hc james as desi. i actually AM desi and it really annoys me when i go on tiktok and see people hating on edits with aaron taylor johnson/calling it racist. that's not how racism works??? this entire fandom was made out of thin air. the main fancast for james was atj in the past so obviously people are going to stick with it.
also i do find it cringe when people try to write him as desi or whatever and it's the most stereotypical, borderline racist thing ever. kinda understandable seeing as a lot of these people aren't actually desi and most of the microaggressions come from ignorance rather than actual malice but come on. do some research.
i'm pretty sure i've seen people mix up nepal and india a lot. that reminds me reiky de valk IS NOT DESI. he's mixed Dutch, Vietnamese, and Somalian. so stop using him as your desi!james fancast. it is literally racist. also reminds me of how people who hc that the black family are asian often use people from different parts of asia for the black brothers. i think thats worse than a microaggression because you're just saying all asian people look the same.
at the same time i usually see this on tiktok so maybe it's just the type of people found there? idk. sorry if this is rude i'm just in a hater mood.
I said that I wouldn't be responding to asks until later but this one is important so I'm gonna do it now because it's just right
And whenever people do write desi James, if his characterisation is really stereotypical, you can already tell that Effie's is gonna be AT LEAST 10 times worse
I'm honestly on board with any James fc as long as they have the right overall energy but I've also seen loads of people refer to Reiky as their desi fc when he literally can't be 😭
Not-So-Fun fact: I am yet to see a video for Asian Black family fcs where more than 3 of them are from the same country, if you go onto tiktok and search it for yourself you'll see
I'm not gonna say too much on this bc I don't want to post to get so long that people just skip right past it without reading but THIS IS IMPORTANT can we talk about it more please because for a fandom that pride themselves on being really accepting in comparison to the source material, racism, misogyny, fatphobia, and transphobia are RAMPANT
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@vaynglories replied to your post “10, 14, 16, 17 for the writing q's!”:
I AM ASKING NOW. TELL ME ABOUT THE USES OF "BAD WRITING" (if you want to) (also hardcore agree on the first person thing. so many oft-hated-upon devices can be used to good effect, it's all about the manner in which they're used!)
okay sorry to only get to this [checks timestamp] twelve hours later BUT i have so so many feelings about this so thank you for encouraging me.
for this post, i'll be talking about the generally hated styles/types of writing, the ones that people always so to NEVER DO, that i can remember off the top of my head. (if i miss one that you want to hear about, let me know!!! i love talking about this subject.) i'll list them off very quickly so you have a general idea what i'm talking about: second person pov, first person pov, "excessive" italicisation, stream-of-consciousness, lack of dialogue tags, grammatical errors, repetition, "overly" detailed/purple prose, and omission of information.
(this got long, oops. sticking it below the cut for readability.)
as a brief preface, i'll say this: i think that a lot of these things are hard to pull off in a way that works. it takes a lot of experience, skill, and understanding of both the medium you're working with, and what each of these things conveys. but so often i see people warning authors away from them entirely, which is, in my opinion, shortsighted at best, and stunting of creativity at worst. now i'll give an explanation for each of these, and how i've used them/how i think they can be used effectively.
second person pov: this is arguably the most "intimate" pov, because you're making the reader an implicit party to the narrative, moreso than usual. that doesn't mean the narrator is the reader, though! second person pov can also help to create, paradoxically, a distance from the actual narrator. you can see this in the harrow the ninth novel, for one example, and in another, i've used second person a couple times in my recent works; here's an example of it:
You didn’t bother trying to answer. You knew well enough that the best option in the battlefield of pain was silence. They, you thought, perhaps, were waiting for you to make a sound; to groan, or grunt, or moan, or wail. They forgot you were as Zhang as they were. This was not a smugness; this was a fact you knew as well as the length of your fingers had been burnt into you.
here, the second person pov blurs the lines between the reader's experience, and xiaoge's experience, but does not make the reader the narrator; not that that would be a bad thing, but in this case, that's not what i was going for; you can tell who the narrator is based on details that are given. the second person pov also makes the narration feel more factual—it is being experienced rather than being observed.
first person pov: very common in YA novels, but adult novels have first person povs as well! you just don't hear about them as much. i would say first person pov is one of the harder things on this list, because it can be hard to characterise the narrator without making them feel too much like a self insert/audience insert. that said, first person pov is a great way to convey mystery, suspense, and have an unreliable narrator! to keep with giving examples, the main dmbj novels are told in first person form; they, therefore, are necessarily filtered through what wu xie deems important, and as you go further along, it becomes clear that someones—maybe even often—he's bending the truth, giving a very biased account, or just straight out lying or forgetting things, not to mention that, necessarily, there are things he just doesn't know that you don't learn about until either a. someone else states them upfront, or b. npss writes a third person pov novel that mentions the fact. some other novels with first person povs: the tiger's daughter, the employees, the murderbot diaries. the first two are epistolary, and the second two have mystery elements; in both cases, the first person pov has a specific purpose, which it fulfils well.
"excessive" italicisation: this is a complaint i've heard less often, but i have heard it, so it's going on the list. oftentimes people tell you to reserve italics for special occasions, not much unlike the way older generations would have told you to restrict your exclamation mark usage. it's a matter of stylistic preference, i'll be blunt, and carries with it a lot of implication that are culturally specific. for example, if you're writing in chinese, you necessarily cannot italicise—but i digress. italicisation is good for drawing special, specific emphasis to things; i've used it in my writing to indicate altered mental states before, as i have personal experience with my mental state being altered by psychiatric episodes that cause me to give undue attention to seemingly "trivial" things, changed my speech patterns, etc. from a very old pacific rim fic, where the narrating character is still suffering under the effects of being possessed and having his mental state altered by it:
This time, the guards don’t protest as Hermann dismisses them—a quick jerk of his head and they’re gone.
“They gave me thicker socks this time,” Newt says conversationally, part of him wanting to shift from foot to foot, but he remains still.
as you can see, the italicisation gives the dialogue a strange, almost jarring, artificial quality. it's as if it's being read off by an autogenerated voice, rather than a human—which, considering the fic touches upon the experience of humanity, is fitting.
stream-of-consciousness: not a very common thing, but in my opinion, good for showing altered mental states—be it due to extreme fear or stress, mental health issues, or tense situations. i've used this a couple times, in a sha hai fic where li cu is experiencing a sudden realisation of what, exactly, is sharing his body with him, and the conflicting thoughts between him and the parasite, and i've also used it in sunrise more recently, describing xiaoge's experience hiveside, in a place that cannot properly be comprehended by the human mind:
The stone scrapes against the wall. Li Cu breathes, and blinks, and you are not alone in this body the other has noticed you the other must not be allowed to Li Cu wants to run wants to drown himself until the sensation leaves the panicked sparrow in his chest the body will listen to you and you will return to It because that is the only way this can end one foot before the other move slowly move steadily don’t harm this body it is all you have until It do not let the other do as it wishes Li Cu wants to yell wants to scream Li Cu wants to flee Li Cu is a rabbit in a snare Li Cu is a deer’s neck snapping beneat the force of a tiger’s jaws Li Cu is a sparrow Li Cu is a mouse Li Cu is fucking done no he is not fucking letting this thing do whatever it wants with the body is no longer listening the other has grown too strong a flameburst a flash of fangs the other has noticed the other should have been excised Li Cu is not fucking letting this be his end Li Cu is not fucking dying down here Li Cu is not, Li Cu is not, fingers clumsy on the zippers, fumbling as they shift through the contents, tubes and papers and they’re heavy on the hands they fit so nicely isn’t it strange it’s never been thought of before that excision isn’t always cutting isn’t it strange that excision can be burning too that you can cauterise an infection can cauterise an interloper can cauterise
and
in this place in this space he will have no moment to breathe no moment to blink no moment to slow in this place he will have no self no other only IT and ALL ELSE because that will be the truth of IT that it will see not in terms of differentiation but in SELF and OTHER and he will be OTHER and he will fight it better than anything or anyone before because he will be the only one who has the memory of before the only one who won’t corrupt at its touch though it will burn though it will sing and oh it will be blinding oh it will be vibrant oh it will paint the hollow of his mind in beautiful beautiful colours no other will be able to comprehend in this moment he will for a second become not OTHER but rather IT become not OTHER but SELF and it will be this that he fights mostly this that he battles the longest SUBSUMATION INTO THE WHOLE that he dances away from will be the CONSUMPTION that he holds the walls against firm will be this that he will try and summon the memories of THEM and this that will succeed but not for yet not for now NOT JUST QUITE NO NOW IS NOW IS NOW IS NOW IS
lack of dialogue tags: as long as you know what you're doing, it's actually not that hard to make it clear who's speaking even if you're not using dialogue tags. i haven't seen this in a published novel, but i've both used and seen it before in character study-type fics, and in remembered conversations, where the focus is less on a conversation happening, and more on the experience of the conversation. it also, in my opinion, tends to add a surreal atmosphere to the section it's being used in—more like an image than text. there is, of course, also the lack of dialogue tags in speech when talking about telepathic communication, but i don't think that that's usually what's being talked about when it comes to this.
grammatical errors: while annoying when made because an author doesn't know better, in the hands of an experienced writer, these can be very effective at conveying altered mental states, giving a sense of foreboding or surrealism, or for characters that aren't human or for some reason have no experience or memory of being human. i forgot to add this to the list, but grammatical errors also blend a bit with formatting errors—formatting is a great way to build a certain atmosphere, be that ascetic, horror, etc.
repetition: can be annoying, but has genuine applications! if there's a truth that a character holds particularly firmly, that might show up in repetitive narration. on top of this, if there's something particularly strange, eye-catching, or an overwhelming emotion or experience, this can also show up in repetition. repetition pressed closer together can give the sense of a stifling, claustrophobic atmosphere, or that a character is experiencing something overwhelming, and spread out, it can be used to establish themes and characterisation.
"overly" detailed/purple prose: i am a purple prose defender until the day i die. just because some people who don't know what they're doing make purple prose a slog doesn't mean that it's inherently bad. prose that's "excessively detailed" can be a good way to establish character—they may pay particular attention to detail due to, for example, constantly needing to be aware of their surroundings for safety or political reasons, etc—, and a good way to establish dynamics between characters, convey emotion, and give the world of the writing a more "realistic", vibrant feel to it. i especially appreciate detailed prose for its ability to convey emotion—as someone who's a character writer, i rely a lot on the prose to convey the character's emotions, and thus, characterise them, and carry the narrative.
omission of information: sometimes the narrator won't tell you things and that is not only okay, but also good! it can be a great way to characterise a character—what do they focus on? what do they avoid? what does this say about them? are they omitting these things only from those around them, only the reader, or both? how does the reader's perspective change if/when they find out what's been omitted? in my opinion, a lot of great usages of omission come from them being only omitted in one or two ways—as in, there are hints as to the omission, that the reader could have pieced together, but they trusted the narrator, or just didn't notice them because they were paying more attention to what was being said directly rather than what was being alluded to by the other characters. omission is similar, in my opinion, to plot twists—it works best when the reader had enough tools to figure it out, but for whatever reason, didn't.
okay that's the end of my very long rant. i hope this makes sense!!! and if there's things i missed let me know and i'll talk about them :)
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You ever started off thinking that Mick was a sweet guy and Keith was the bad one before reading books and seeing documentaries on The Stones, then knowing that Keith was actually VERY SWEET! Keith was always such a gentleman.
No, actually! Lol I always kinda knew Keith was a gentleman. I mean, when have you ever heard any woman bad-mouthing Keith or writing tell-all books about what a shitty ass lover he is. Keith may have been a damn drug addict, but he's actually really sweet (when it comes to women). Many of the women he's dated has said that including Ronnie Spector and Anita Pallenberg. I think one of the reason's he's like that is because he was raised solely by women. Mick Jagger, even though he may not want to admit it, is a womanizer who's emotionally and financially abusive (he likes to lie, cheat, and hold the women in his life financially hostage), Brian was the beater and cheater, Bill (who was married) fucked any and everybody....but you can't really say anything bad about Keith or Charlie. They weren't like that at all. I think Keith likes women a lot. He respects women, you know? He won't dog you out or humiliate you like Mick would. And look, he's been with his wife for almost 40 years!
Also, here's an interview he did back in 1995 with Loaded Magazine talking about women which I thought was interesting:
Q: What was your attitude to sex in the early days of the Stones?
K: Well, it's always been the same really. It boils down to the fact that I've never just been interested in a lay. If I'm going to be with a woman, even if just for a day or two, then we've got to have a laugh. And then, if we get around to screwing, that's wonderful. But I've never started a relationship just for the purpose of wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am. Chicks are too precious for that. I mean, I love chicks. I love them too much to just roll over and stick it in.
Q: You were never interested in notches on the bed post?
K: Not at all. I could never understand the whole attitude with Bill. You have to understand that he'd do it with anything and anybody. The worst bags you could imagine. Anything. I was only interested in real women. Not someone you dragged in, gave her a quick one, kicked her out and chalked it up. If I'm going to get into bed with someone, I gotta like 'em. Otherwise, I'd rather go into a quiet corner and jerk off. My attitude has always been that ladies are ladies and chicks are chicks. They're not things to be chalked up on a score cards.
Q: What kind of women always attracted you?
K: I never really had an ideal woman as such. I simply love the ones who love me. I've never been the sort of guy who only likes blondes or whatever. I like them all. I mean, chicks are endlessly fascinating to me. They're always an education. I can have a load more fun with chicks than with a bunch of guys. When men are left to their own devices, they're always jousting, trying to put one over on each other in a boring, macho way. But women have a different point of view on things and they're not afraid to point out that I've been behaving like an arsehole. And I kinda like that.
Q: How would you summarize your feelings for women over the years?
K: Well, if I look back, I'm kinda happy about the fact that I never needed to be pushy when it came to chicks. I was in the kind of position where I could walk into a room and basically have my pick. It's a hell of a lot easier to get laid if you're famous. But that always seemed like a cheap shot to me. Far too easy. No appeal. I just never had the attitude that a lot of guys have. I mean, a lot of guys will just fuck anything, y'know? Just because it's there. And these same guys ... they never seem to learn anything about women. Y'know, they'd be hard pushed to tell you where the clitoris is. Now if a guy doesn't know where that is situated, then he's got a big problem cos he ain't gonna satisfy any woman.
All I know is that I can't help guys like that. I'm not a doctor or a gynecologist. All I know is that the chicks come back to me and say 'He was an arsehole. He didn't have a clue' and I lend them my shoulder to cry on. Now that's all I'm prepared to do. I'm not going to spend my time drawing maps for guys who haven't learned to find their way around. All I can say is that I haven't had any complaints. I never left a woman feeling pissed off. I never had any woman chase me and tell me that I'd let her down. There's an art to that and it's an art that has to be learned.
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Ya boy woke up in the middle of the night so uhhhhhh
How's about he drops some Summer Stuff.
So what I need to preface with is!!! I write Summer in a pokemon discord server I'm in, and when replayed through GS back in/around September, I would pause at certain points to make a solo post, as my friends who hadn't played GS were excited to see me do it, even encouraging me to pick Summer as my protag in game. Below the cut are my three flashback solos. I had to stop after these because after that I couldn't really keep it objective due to ship bias and having a hard time writing without dialogue as I only had Summer and I obviously picked important story scenes so lmao on my part.
One day I may get enough courage to dump about my personal Summer. The biggest thing to note for the Solos is She's selectively mute and will only speak verbally if the situation calls for it, or she's like deadly serious. Otherwise she uses sign or a notebook and pen to communicate!
《☀ Summer: Memories, memories 1: 🎶 》
She'd been....content. The young girl pulling her along--Nema was her name, daughter to the Area Ranger, Rand-- she was energetic and had a spark in her eyes, one visible nearly immediately to Summer when she ran up to her, requesting help with getting one of the "UFOs" out of the water. That, along with her other requests, Summer took joy in doing. Playing along, she decided. She really didn't know how true the three requests thing was, but she couldn't find herself to care.
Besides, she couldn't let that fire burn out of control, nor could she allow Nema to look for her father alone. Really, she was extremely greatful she'd gone along with Nema, all things considered. The pokemon weren't dangerous, no. What she found herself most worried about looking back were the Pinchers there to block the way up to the Wireless Tower.
Now, she knows the extent of how reckless Nema could be, but also how much of a genius she is. While she couldn't doubt Nema's ability to get up to the Tower, shed be terrified to think what could have happened should things have gone awry.
However, one of the two or three the memories that sticks out the most of that day in particular was the conversation she'd had when she finally met with Rand.
The Ranger Union told him two rangers were coming. So, why was there only one? Now he wasn't harsh or angry in the slightest with his question, in fact she'd dare say he broached the topic rather gently for someone who she had just met.
However, something about the question....hit her. It hit her harder than she expected.
Probably because it just...cemented the fact Ben hadn't made it safely to land. Meaning she really had no clue what had happened to him.
In the few moments it took her to raise her hands and give her explanation, so, so many thoughts raced through her head. Had he gotten shot down to? Did they have him captive, tied up with ropes a smidgeon on the tight side? What if it had been worse?
Despite her racing thoughts, she raised her hands and took a deep breath.
I do not know. We had an encounter with the Pinchers in the sky. I had seen them trying to shoot down a pokemon, so I went to stop them. My partner came to assist me. He was going to be shot down, so I knocked him out of the way. I fell into....the ocean....
She had paused a moment, trying to recall. It had been...a blur.
The capture styler got disattached within the fall. I had to get it back. Then there was a strong current. I then awoke on D-O-L-C-E.
She took a deep breath a shook her head. From there, she recounted his she'd met Ukulele Pichu and Booker, before going to find Arley in Rasp Cavern, mentioning the monument being broken, and Raikou chasing the pinchers. Then whet she got to the point she met Nema, the young girl excitedly recounted from there.
Then, before long she had a new mission. Work with Rand, and free the Wireless Tower from the Pinchers
《☀ Summer: Memories, memories 1: END 🎶 》
《☀ Summer: Memories, memories 2: 🎶》
Raikou had been calmed down. Summer took a few deep breaths as she stared at the legendary beast, who stared back at her. After a moment, it stepped forward and roared loudly. What followed was a bright flash of light.
She heard the crackling of lightning as she stared unblinking, unable to move her hands to shield her eyes, at the light that now enveloped Raikou. She continued to hear the crackling as a shape came into view within the light. It looked…like an hourglass. Once the light subsided, her Styler beeped, which she barely managed to hear over the crackling in her ears, and slowly she lifted her arm, and barely managed to drag her gaze to her Styler.
"The Legendary Pokemon has shown you a shape. Please register the shape."
Slowly, she moved her finger over top her Styler. Start in the top right, making a backwards Z, then up in a diagonal line.
When her Styler beeped in satisfaction, her arm fell, and her gaze was drawn back to Raikou, who then left.
A hand on her shoulder brought her back to reality. The crackling died out as she heard Rand. He was trying to check on her, as she'd been staring off into space.
She blinked twice, and brought a hand to her head, before shaking it.
I am fine. Did you see it? The shape in the light?
///
He hadn't seen it. Had…. She seen it? Or was it really just a trick of the light? She didn't know. They made it down the Wireless Tower, where Leanne and Nema awaited their return.
A very brief conversation was interrupted when some pinchers were brought over and interrogated, at least until they pulled one over on the lot of them and made a mad dash away. At which point Summer and Rand gave chase.
Up until the Big Booker Bridge.
She heard him before she saw him.
Red Eyes.
She wasn't the only one to have that moment of recognition either. He knew who she was.
So, so many things wanted to fall out of her mouth. None of them related to the mission. Selfish as it was her only concern was if Ben was alright in this moment. Before she could raise her hands, Red Eyes expressed his shock that she had lived her fall.
And then Rand took the words from her: Where was Ben?
Summer stared at Red Eyes. A mixture of fear and worry in her eyes. She had every right to fear this man; he'd attacked and she went plummeting to protect Ben. The worry came from what he could possibly answer of what happened to Ben.
Would all her worst thoughts come to fruition? Or would he be okay…?
Then her world crashed.
He couldn't–no, wouldn't– tell her. All because she was a Ranger. Her fists clenched at her sides, and she shakily took deep breaths, trying to keep herself calm.
But, then he continued. One thing? He'd tell her one thing out of pity….? Fine. Whatever.
"He's Safe."
She nearly collapsed right then and there from the nearly overwhelming wave of relief that washed over her in that moment
She was so caught up in her own relief, she'd zone out the last bit of the conversation…mostly. She heard what was being said back and forth; the joke about the rope, that Ben put up a fight, even that he was being treated with some form of respect.
She only really came back to reality when she heard the Voltorbs dropped, and she moved back right before they exploded, leaving the bridge unpassable.
For now, with the knowledge that Ben was safe, she returned to Rand's house with him to think of a new plan to progress.
《☀ Summer: Memories, memories 2: END 🎶 》
《☀ Summer: Memories, memories 3: 🎶 》
Blue Eyes had been captured in the basement of the old mansion with the help of Pichu. Now she was aboard the Union, and Summer had to give Rand a report, and then give a written report to Murph.
Once the Report had been handed over, the next course of action was going to be decided. However, before plans could be made, Red Eyes showed up, expressing his surprise that they'd managed to capture Blue Eyes.
However, he needed her back, and so he proposed a swap.
Blue Eyes for Ben.
//
When she heard that sentence, she felt so many emotions. Rage that Ben was being used as a bargaining chip, but also hope. Hope and relief that she'd get to see her partner again. Relief that he'd be safe.
Would there be any repercussions for this course of action? She frankly didn't care. What she cared about was getting Ben back. She clenched her fists as she watched Red Eyes fly away, and then she made direct eye contact with Murph.
"Give me Blue Eyes."
Really, she was surprised at how easily Murph was swayed, really he didn't need to be swayed it seemed, he went to get Blue Eyes, and so Summer and Blue Eyes were off to the Daybreak Ruins.
Summer would get Ben back safely today, or she'd raise all hell until she did. Consequences be damned.
//
With Blue Eyes in tow, Summer made her way to the last room of the Daybreak Ruins. Along the way Summer had been stopped countless times by pinchers under Blue Eyes's command, doing all they could to get their leader back without exchanging their captive, however, Summer did push through them.
And at the end of the Ruins…. There was no Red Eyes in sight.
However, a monument was there, and when Blue Eyes went to investigate, a loud roar caused both Summer and Blue Eyes to step back and stare as Entei came down, breaking a rock on it's landing.
Quickly, Summer took to capturing it to calm it down.
Entei had stared her down then roared, and Summer could hear the roar and crackling of a blazing fire as a bright light engulfed Entei. Within that light, she saw Entei's emblem, and just like with Raikou, her Styler beeped.
"Please register the sign in your styler!"
Slowly, she brought her arm up, and over the top of her Styler, she made a straight line down, then crossed like an upside down, closed four, and continued the line over to mirror what she'd just drawn.
As the light faded, so to did the crackling and roaring of a fire. As she blinked a few times, she brought her hand to her her head and shook her head as Blue Eyes grabbed her attention and thanked her for saving her from the situation.
That's when she heard Z.Z. Flyers overhead and stepped back.
Red Eyes was here.
And she could have sworn her heart forgot how to beat for a few moments as she saw Ben. He really was okay. He was okay. She hadn't completely failed in protecting her partner.
Before she could properly respond to Ben. Red Eyes, Blue Eyes and the other pinchers were leaving.
And….of course Red Eyes left the two of them a goodbye present. Electrodes that go boom.
She pushed Ben down, and grabbed pichu and held the mouse to her chest as she threw her arm up to protect her head from the explosions.
She looked around after the ringing in her ears stopped. They were stuck. But that wasn't important.
She instead turned her attention to Ben, who thanked her for her help and mentioned how relieved he was when he'd heard she had been safe.
It was the two of them, the way it was supposed to be from the start.
Now, Summer knew she could handle whatever the future of this mission held for her, now that she had her partner back.
《☀ Summer: Memories, memories 3: 🎶 》
#pokemon ranger guardian signs#long post#my summer has such a complicated relationship with the eyes man#i dont talk about it much but she has varying degrees of anxiety with each of them#but she's also convinced that they're good people at heart especially if they try to change#one of these days i should try to get over my anxiety that ranger Tumblr will come after me and actually dump about my summer shes my blorbo#i love writing her so much#I'm going back to sleep now loves you all /platonic#pokemon ranger summer#guardian signs
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Hi! I've been following Lets Get Burgers since it first started and love it to bits (the rest of your art as well, your style is lovely). As for questions: I'm also an artist and have for many years wanted to make little comic strips of my own, but always find it hard to find a workflow that's both not super intensive and slow to work on, making real tedious. Did you run into similar issues before or while making Let's Get Burgers? If so how did you get over this?
Hello, and thank you so much for supporting my work for so long! It's truly appreciated :)
Before making let's get burgers, I'd been wanting to make webcomics for a while. However, none of my ideas would ever stick, and I'd often give up before I ever even drew anything. I now know that this wasn't because I was "lazy" or something, I was just way too focused on making a webcomic that I thought people would like vs one that I would actually enjoy working on.
The first strip began as a stream-of-consciousness scribble in my sketchbook that I decided to turn into a comic simply because I thought it'd be fun to draw. After I posted it on twitter, I was surprised with a very loud and positive response to it, and while all the likes and shares I received definitely helped fuel me to make more comics (i'm VERY influenced by positive feedback haha), more than anything the fact that I had fun drawing them helped me keep going.
It wasn't always fun working on them though! Since I start to regularly post these strips on social media, inevitably I began to compare the amount of likes/retweets one strip would get over another. Obviously more "relatable" ones would usually do really well, while the weirder and more out there ones would receive a more lukewarm response. That would in turn make me try to make comics that I thought would be successful on social media rather than ones I personally thought were cause I often couldn't help chasing that high of getting a whole bunch of likes/retweets on my art. That was the most draining part of maintaining a webcomic, and was usually the reason I took hiatuses and breaks. Usually after my breaks the comics I came out with felt more honest to myself but the cycle would continue after I'd inevitably get fixated on numbers again.
I'm ultimately happy with how let's get burgers came out, but after I finished the comics for the book release, I made a vow to make comics for myself and no one else. I'm still making let's get burgers comics, but I don't post them on social media anymore, and I only share them with close friends. I think the result is comics that are undiluted by the desire for attention and validation on social media and are ultimately more true to myself. I'm excited to show them to the world once I feel ready to! :)
I guess what I'm getting at is the most exciting and least exhausting way to draw comics for me was
to make comics where the writing/drawing process itself is fun and not too intensive or daunting and
to put safeguards in place in order to not get so fixated on and stressed out about social media performance.
I hope this helps and that my answer wasn't too long-winded haha, I'm wishing you a very happy comics-making!
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Hi, Em! I wonder if you could help me figure out my enneatype. I’m probably a heart type, but I’m having a hard time deciding which one fits better. Thanks for your time!
I grew up as an insecure kid, so I used to (and still do, tbh) dream about the moment things would finally take a turn for the better. I’d indulge in fantasies where I’d return to my hometown years later, looking better than ever, just to prove a point to others. To make them envious.
My relationship with envy also started when I was pretty young. I saw my colleagues being prettier, having friends, and having lives I wanted for myself. I guess that my revenge dream comes from the wish to make people feel about me the same way I used to feel about them. I learned how to control my envy once I got older (I’m currently in my mid-twenties), but I still struggle to not constantly compare myself to others.
I’m about to finish college right now, and I’m scared. I’m afraid that once I finally start to chase my dreams and focus on my career, I won’t be good enough. I’m afraid that people will continue to see me as a failure, as someone who didn’t make it. Ever since I got into this crisis, I’ve been avoiding to act. I got into a comfort zone, where I feel like not acting at all is a better option than doing so and not ending up in this perfect place I idealized. As an example, I tend to avoid posting things on social media because I’d rather be seen as "mysterious" and "low-profile" than risk being seen as someone not as interesting as I’d like to be.
I also feel like there’s a constant battle going on inside of me: one side pushes me to be good, to do the "right thing", to be a "good person," because that’s what I’m supposed to do if I want to be loved; the other side just wants to prove everyone who underestimated me in the past wrong, it wants to become the queen bee who everyone’s envious of. In the middle of this mess, I can’t seem to figure out my true desires. Do I really want to be at these extremes, or would I be able to find peace somewhere in the middle?
Finding love is also one of my main motivations. Of course, I do have this idealized vision of the "perfect" relationship (one that would also make people envy me), and yes, I want to make an impression, but I also want to love and be loved, deeply and truly. I don’t want my significant other to think that I’m a bad person just because of my attention-seeking tendencies. When I care about people, I care deeply and honestly, I know I have pure intentions towards those I care about —but "good" people shouldn’t focus so much on how others see them! It all ends up with me blaming myself for seeking attention, then trying to be good/perfect/better, then realizing that I want to be perceived a certain way —and the cycle repeats itself on and on.
The overwhelming desire is wanting to elicit envy and to be impressive and an ideal, so I would absolutely say 3. The fact that your stress response is to stick in a comfort zone and not act also points to this, as a 3 disintegrates to 9. I think a 2 wing and a 1 fix somewhere in there would cover the fact that you do also very much want to be loved for being good, and to be good in the abstract. I'm not sure on your head fix though.
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Got tagged by the bringer of amazing headcanons and provider of gorgeous, jaw dropping interpretations @mr-laveau to assign some ships songs. Did my best here and 100% picked songs I already associate with other ships and characters because listen, sharing is caring. Let's get into it!
[D.A.M.N. Polycule]
This is all the boys @ FL and simultaneously FL @ all the bots. All of them are grateful to be in each other's lives and wouldn't have it any other way. They can't imagine things being different. Lyrics that specifically stick it: "It feels so good to know ya"
[Sam/Darlin']
It's a tad upbeat from what I envision the vibe of this pair to have but the lyrics fit to me. I'm also a sucker for any song that's like "I'm scared to love you but I love you too much not to try" so here we are /pos
[Huxley/Damien]
If there's one thing you need to know about are the blueprint to me. Alright, this is my top ship, can't be beat. I like to think that this song is from Damien's perspective once they get together. In general, I think they bring out the best in each other and this song fits that.
[Avior/Starlight]
LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN (/LH)— Avior is one of my favorite characters. Starlight is one of my favorite listeners. Their storyline is one of my favs overall. That being said, I also love a little pain and this song cuts me deep. It feels like it sums up where they're both at mentally when it comes to the meridian stuff.
[Cutie/Geordi]
Much more from Cutie's perspective, but I feel like this captures their inner turmoil and how that conflicts with their love for Geordi. I love them and their story in general, and I think this song shows a certain will for their relationship to work out while still highlighting how Cutie has their own stuff to work through.
[Vincent/Lovely]
This specific version. The almost quiet feel to it compared to the original draws you in, pulls you close. Gendering aside, it's even more fitting post-Inversion.
[David/Angel]
Reminds me of quiet nights and healing as you go, which I feel is a major part of their relationship development. To me, this gives off "I want to be there for you and help you when the darkness clouds your mind". Again, always a sucker for.
[Vega/Camelopardalis]
This is an ultra specific pick based entirely off of the fic "And That’s Why We Broke Up" by @dominimoonbeam (your writing is >>>). I get that it's canon divergence, I get that this ship ain't for everyone, I get that I'm 99% certain it'd never happen in canon. That doesn't change the fact that this is 100% what I think of when I think about this pairing in the context of this fic.
[Elliott/Sunshine]
Beginning of the song reminds me of Elliott showing Sunshine dreams dreamscapes and stuff. That mixed with the friends to lovers vibes from the beginning of their relationship/dynamic and overall energy this song has made it fit for me.
[Alexis/Sam] (LET ME EXPLAIN /LH)
This ship isn't for me and I debated adding it at all, but this is one of the first songs I thought to add for this. I think it absolutely fits from Alexis' perspective and, if you view her as a more complex character rather than one dimension, it makes you hurt in a "It is what it is but damn" kind of way. Especially the line "strangers to friends, friends into lovers, then strangers again". Like come on, it fucks me up to imagine that pain after everything that transpired between her and Sam.
[Bonus Honorable Mentions]
Hit my audio limit whoops but Friendly Dark by Ollie MN for similar reasons as Die Trying assigned to Avior/Starlight. Also Our Love by Curtis Harding and Jazmine Sullivan from Arcane for Milo/Sweetheart (gendering aside). The girls that get it get it, and the girls that don't don't (/lh).
This was a lot of fun, even if I had to rack my brain a bit. I hope you enjoy my selection~ Tagging @thefablefoxart because I'm always in love with your musical suggestions (and don't know anyone else to tag /lh)
#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted fandom#redacted damn polycule#redacted freelancer#redacted gavin#redacted lasko#redacted huxley#redacted damien#redacted sam#redacted darlin#redacted avior#redacted starlight#redacted cutie#yall better behave /lh#redacted geordi#redacted vincent#redacted lovely#redacted david#redacted angel#redacted vega#redacted cam#redacted camelopardalis#redacted elliott#redacted sunshine#redacted alexis#redacted milo#redacted sweetheart#damn that's a lot of tags again lots of thanks for tagging me that notif had me shook /pos
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Hello! Can I ask about how Kofi works for writers? I am thinking about starting one, and the main hurdle is that I don’t seem have enough readers (or they just don’t want to interact)?
Hello!
Idk if I'm the right person to ask for this, but I'll have a crack.
The short answer:
You should do it! (Just don't link it directly to AO3!!!*) The reader count doesn't matter so much as the passion of your readers. Having said that, I don't see it as a consistent or significant stream of income for myself. I also don't engage with other writers/communities with money or engagement numbers at the forefront of my mind. That's the quickest way to make yourself sad.
The longer answer:
For the mechanics of things, Kofi has a whole post about how writers use their service. Other services out there function similarly. Think about why you want to create a Kofi. That will help you noodle out whether it's just going to be an casual thing your readers can contribute to, or whether you need a posting and subscription plan for a more professionalised approach. For example, since I don't write to any human-identifiable schedule, I stick with one off payments, but you might be different!
Since I'm on a fandom blog answering this, and since I know people will have opinions, I just want to say upfront: fandom is gloriously free for good reason, and should forever remain that way. I don't expect to get paid for writing anything that I'm posting on the internet on an already freely-accessible site, and I actually don't think I'd have bothered making a Buy Me A Coffee** page if I was just writing fic and posting it.
I had two encounters that convinced me to make one. The first was someone reaching out after reading one of my original pieces asking if I had a Patreon or something similar (that was v flattering - in fact, I still freak out about it!). The second was one of my mutuals saying, "I wish we could have a coffee IRL!" This is not a significant stream of income for me at all, and I don't think I would want it to be because engagement is key with stuff like this, and that can be a bit soul-sucking if you don't have it and are trying to get it. I suppose it's the same as the reads/bookmarks/kudos/comments ratio on AO3 - you can get caught up in those numbers, and that's never fun, so my advice would be not to stress out too much about it. Putting energy and love and time and attention into the work rather than the stats has always led to better outcomes for me.
How to get engagement probably deserves it's own separate post, but I find that, generally, what you get out of a community is proportional to what you put in. Interacting fairly frequently (and genuinely ofc) with a wide set of other creators/fandomers will usually lead to more genuine engagement on your own work.
At the end of the day, I'd say go for it!
Just have realistic expectations about what you'll get out of it, especially at first. Like all things, there's no cheating the clock on engagement.
That was very rambly. I hope it helped!
*Lawsuits - this is how AO3 gets lawsuits.
**BMaC is a similar service I chose after finding it hard to retain my anonymity on Kofi.
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350 Works on AO3 Check-In
I've now got 350 works on AO3, so time for another check-in.
Some background, since I have some new followers. These check-ins started because I kept on encountering fan descriptions of fandom that were stuff like, "If you ship X ship, you'll get harassed by Antis!" or "if you write dark content, you'll get harassed by puriteens!" Not exact quotes, but you get the idea.
But the thing was, these warnings weren't matching my experiences, even if I wrote the ship in question or dark content. And, sure, I was only one fan, but at that point, I had dozens of works up on AO3, and I was in a number of fandoms. So what was up with that?
As a result, I decided to start keeping track of my experiences, checking in every 25 works. The first time I got hate on a fic was a little after 200 works, in the This Is How You Lose the Time War fandom, when someone on anon told me I'd ruined my fic by making the dog in it a pit bull.
Which, okay, "Pit Bull Anti" isn't exactly the archetypal fandom menace.
Not too long after that, in the Our Flag Means Death fandom, I got a harassing anonymous Ask telling me they hoped I got shanked for being an Izzy Hands fan. (I was one of several Izzy fans that got an anon Ask like that, and OFMD remains the fandom with the most amount of harassment from Antis that I've witnessed.) This was still not quite the archetypal experience with Antis I'd seen described - the hate was about liking a character, rather than a ship - but it otherwise fit the mold of fans minding their own damn business and getting harassment from someone justifying their harassment on moral grounds. (The Anti-Izzy Anon believes that Izzy Hands as a character is racist and that Izzy fans are thus racist for liking him. And also that Izzy is abusing Ed and that liking Izzy is thus abuse-apologia.)
I've also had the experience in fandom of having people dogpiling and being shitty towards me for talking about racism. In fact, Talking About Racism is the thing that is most likely to result in me getting an aggressive and hostile response from my fellow fans, although this does not at all fit the common fandom perception as all hate being from Antis angry over ships.
Anyway, that's the backstory for these posts.
For this check in, I have nothing new to report. I haven't received any harassing asks or angry comments.
But I do want to talk a bit about why I tend to keep the scope of these posts so narrow to my experiences.
And that's because it's really hard to get a big picture grasp of fandom. I mean, I've got 350 works up on AO3. That's a lot!
AO3 as a whole now has over 12 million fan works!
I'm the Spiders Georg of fan fic writing over here, and my works are only 0.0029167% of the total works on AO3!
If someone wanted to get a big picture of fandom and answer a question like "What percentage of fandom is Antis?", "What is the age range of Antis?", or "How common is harassment in fandom from Antis?", there's a lot that would have to be taken into account.
To start, they'd have to define Anti, since the exact definition can vary depending on who you talk to. Are they only Antis if they're opposed to a ship, or does opposition to a character also apply? What about opposition to pit bulls? What if someone calls themself an Anti but doesn't harass anyone? Etc.
Then you run into all of the issues that come with surveys. What platform do you conduct your survey on? Mastodon skews older in its user base than, say, TikTok, so you'd get different results surveying one than the other. You've got issues with 'How to get the most honest answers out of people?' and 'How to account for the fact that survey results are biased towards individuals that respond to surveys?'
There are people trying to tackle those questions, and I applaud them, as they've got their work cut out for them.
But that's why, for these check in posts, I generally stick to my own personal experiences. It's a narrower scope, but it's one I can speak to with confidence.
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