#IMMA KICK MY OWN ASS INTO GEAR | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mellow-island7 · 9 months

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Twitter Drafts

was writing down my twitter drafts in a word document cause i'm gonna deactivate my twitter again cause i'm getting overwhelmed again by everything and thought i'd share some of these on tumblr lol

These drafts start from now (8/23/23) and go all the way back to i think like a year ago or something like that, some of the drafts are unfinished but yea anyways heres some of them

(pt 1)

(ps my bad i probably sound like an asshole in some of these, i was really sad and have been stuck in a perpetual shit cycle for the past 3 years)(but also i have to learn to stop apologizing for things that i don't need to be sorry for)

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Stuck in a body that isn’t mine,

Everything is a waste of time

Dumb yuppie mfkrs talking about being “broke” with a car, a house, gear that works and a house that has food everyday :|

Lol :|

We need a show in south florida for the Daniel Johnston fans all 5 to 6 of us

Mfkrs will literally kick you down and be like dude get up already, stop being lazy

Its funny hearing people talking about getting older and gaining weight and running out of breath and I’m like “dude literally all you do is smoke weed and watch shit on Netflix, what the fuck would you expect”

Lol you really not grown till you get sued for the first time

Mad respect and appreciation for anyone that takes the time to try and and understand themselves emotionally

In my head thinking about how it totally not cute to be this sad at my age

In my head counting all the people that hate me

I’m grateful for the people that I’ve been friends with since middle school

The online therapists are exploiting mental illness, places like b*tter help want you to think you are weak and they want you to think you can’t do it yourself so that you can pay them a good amount of money to talk you into fixing your own problems

Yea I’m probably gonna hold off on doing shit seriously till I have money again

I know where I am, I know where I’m going and I know how I’m gonna get there

You should be scared you fucking limp dick weasel, I hope you get everything that you have coming for you

Wtf you could bs nose slide? :o

I just wanna skate and make music with my friends, its not that complicated

This mini ramp is slowly but surely making my brain so much stronger

Don’t understand plus don’t care plus don’t wanna understand plus I gotta st

Do things for genuine reasons

I need to stop apologizing for things I don’t need to be sorry about

(added this in rn, wasn’t originally in our twitter drafts ^^^)

Nick is like the mike Sinclair to my billy marks

One day when I’m older and more stable with money and more in a place of comfort, I look forward to being able to smoke weed while playing playstation 2 games

Lifes moving in such a weird direction and I’m really happy and excited but also a lil sad also goddamn some of the things happening are so bizarre

Educate the yuppie jits, they don’t know any better

You are exactly like all the people you complain about and if you weren’t busy having your head so far up your own ass maybe you could see that

I love being an internet music nerd, all I wanna do is be on my computer and listen to music and make shit

I’m trying very hard to stay optimistic and keep working hard towards things that I think actually matter and if you are in any way trying to impede on that optimism (no matter how false you think it may be) then FUCK YOUUUUU just SHUT THE FUCK UP

Growing up means literally faking being happy every day

I can’t wait to turn 30

I need a job so fucking bad and I desperately need to leave this house

Steel reserve suicide? 👀

Fuck it lol I think imma finish as much as I can of the ruffans stuff and put it out as a demos album LOL (at this point that makes more sense than having this be an actual album)

Definitely gotta keep our friends humble cause :| some mfkrs are getting so prideful and arrogant :|

I think we need to start roasting our friends a bit more, so many specific people are getting way too prideful and arrogant, like there’s nothing in with feeling a sense of pride in your self but definitely gotta humble people when they’re getting out of pocket

Being in a car with people that drive like shit :| is so fucking annoying :| and then they wanna act like you’re annoying as fuck for being scared :| fried ass mfkrs :|

Too many people down bad rn, get it together

:| talking about these things with the people you love is :| so :| fucking :| hard :| life is moving and changing in so many directions in so many ways :| and

You will only come to realize this when it is way too late and you’ve done an insane amount of irreparable damage and then you will regret so much as we all come to do

Life at 17: I need to kill myself Σ('◉⌓◉’)

Life at 24: yea fuck this dude I’m out :|

Lol its funny to me that theres people that only like me because I’m so sad and that feels soo fucked up for some reason

I don’t care if it’s good enough because it is genuinely the best can do

(rn)

Phone password is **** and my computer password is ******, theres a lot of live video and audio recordings of peoples bands and maybe some photos and logos and art and other random bullshit, if anyone cares to go and try and find that, go for it

I tried, sorry, thanks

(anecdote: lol fucking dumb edgy imbecile thinking anyone would give a fuck to try and find any of that garbage

Thanks

Its fireeee :,| <3

Goddammit ramon just do it already, watching you get up and keep trying is humiliating it feels like watching a one legged dog keep tripping over himself tryna cross the street, its so fucking sadd

No I’m not doing okay why the fuck would you askme some stupid dumbass question like that, tryna be on some hold your head up king bullshit, like I’m glad that you’ve managed to convince yourself that you’re happy, that’s awesome for you I love that for you genuinely but what the fuck I am obviously not happy why the fuck would you ask me that like what the fuck am I actually supposed to say to that

I am not too fond of punk music or shoegaze music or metal music(as genres), theres specific bands and individuals that I like but in general sense most of those genres are so fucking boring

I feel like I haven’t had a real conversation with another human being in so long, I feel so detached from reality like as if I’m not real and I’m watching myself continue on autopilot from outside my body

I’m the kind of stupid where I’ll have no money, get $5 and decide to share it with someone so we could eat together

Sitting thinking about how many days will have to pass before have to sell my fuzzwar and amp and other belongings that mean a lot to me?

(something is wrong/broken)

One brain cell dimwit human being who is not doing anything to fix it or help in any way: “why are you not fixing this? What is wrong with you you useless irresponsible asshole?”

I wish I had what you had

(plural)

I’m getting real close to selling my fuzzwar, at this point in life I have no one I’m close enough that would know what that would mean to me or even care but maya gave me that for my 19th brirthday, it was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me ever

Jesus christ the way that asia argento looks at rip torn in marie Antoinette and just thinking about times in life when someone looked at you like that while touching your face

#me #words #3761 #twitter #sorry #asia argento

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amesstm · 3 years

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AOT boys with a badass S/O

Characters: Eren, Jean, Levi, Reiner, Armin, Erwin, Zeke, Porco,

A/N: Not me secretly wanting to enforce my top energy into my writin. P.S. I do not own literally any gifs because I do not have that talent so check these folks out!

Eren Yeager

You bet that this boy came to you for help with his ODM gear

“Y/N, can you please help me?” Eren would ask with a pout and puppy eyes.

Ngl, you enjoyed having him beg for you. Okay not like that but maybe later

You help him out and all that, growing closer because you’re just that good

Mikasa gets jelly because someone is getting closer to Eren with as much gains as she has – seriously, how does she have such nice abs with little protein??

HOWEVER, when he shows off his Titan powers and starts to edge towards your Titan kills? >.>

Don’t do this at home, kids

Well, you two would make it a competition to see who could have more kills after every expedition

Levi would promptly kick your butts, as he could, because he’s the only one who can

The only time Eren could beat you in a fight was Post-Marley. Sorry, I don’t make the rules

Jean Kirstein

At first, he’d be intimidated by how strong you are

Let’s all admit it, this boy had a bit of toxic masculinity going on so he’d probably be like “wtf, a girl can’t be this strong.”

Did I mention that you could get this lanky, tall boy into a chokehold?

Because you do :

Afterwards, he doesn’t make those comments for obvious reasons.

He’ll start to respect you much more. Soon, he might even like when you show off your skills

Toxic masculinity? Gone.

Simping? Fully.

If you were to get into a fight, Jean wouldn’t even be concerned lol. He’d just watch like “yep, that’s the girl I love landing a roundhouse kick” - super casual

He loves when you stand up against people, especially if you’re small. When you landed a blow on Eren, Jean might’ve gotten a nosebleed.

Levi Ackerman

At first, it’d start with respect until it shifted into something more than that.

Again, he wasn’t looking for much when he went into the Scout Regiment beyond just saving his friends from trouble.

But when his friends – uhh y’know, stuff – the emotional strength you also had?

Your ability to comfort healed him and brought you two closer

When you two started to date, it wasn’t much of a surprise. In fact, it seemed like it was the right thing to do because power couple much???

Honestly, everyone is intimidated by you two when you’re both on the field

Regardless of your personality – be it bubbly and dorky or stern and quiet – there’s a presence you both carry

Like somehow you and him can go toe-to-toe with each other easily

Titan kills? Almost equal.

Assisted kills? Close.

Ability to make Eren Yeager shut up? Definitely equal.

Reiner Braun

Because of Annie, he was already used to strong girls in his life

What he wasn’t used to was being put into a chokehold from what looked like an unassuming opponent

Where did you learn this??? It wasn’t even in the program???

He doesn’t understand but he likes it – you being strong, not the choking. Just for clarification.

Or does he?

After that, he’s asking to spar with you in the hopes of not being forced to submit to you

Unfortunately for him, you always have him in submission

What can I say? Natural top.

Even if you’re not a top, you certainly can make Reiner a bottom

Armin Arlert

He’d love it without a doubt. Literal simp since day one for you.

Armin would probably remember meeting you beating up these bullies because

Sure, Mikasa existed but... why like her when you’re there?

At the beginning, you’d basically be his bodyguard.

No one was allowed to make fun of his bowl-cut without the consequences. Periodt.

But after his glow-up???

Let’s just say ummm baby boy don’t need that much protecting anymore

Erwin Smith

Okay imma be real, he probably just sees you as a means to his goals

Hold up, hold up. But that’s because he trusts you to get the job done

His confidence in your abilities is so high because he knows you could kick anyone’s ass in the whole regiment – except for Levi’s, of course.

But then his time working with you led to more than just respect

Unlike him, his façade about caring for humanity was a stark contrast to your willingness to die for the people around you

You were everything he wanted to be. You may show off sometimes but you surely had the credentials to back it up. You had a strong will and moral compass

You made him want to be better than he already was

Why did he charge into death on that suicide mission? Because you would do the same. Or you had already done the same.

Zeke Yeager

Y’all, brains and brawns but make it a couple

Okay, you can have smart moments but that’s not the point of this

You were the only qualified kid that had little interest in being a Warrior

It’s not that you didn’t want to help out your family, but likeee your dad was the past Armor Titan. You didn’t like saying goodbye to him

So, when Zeke told you he was entering the program, you might’ve punched him in the gut

And you might’ve ran off crying

For someone so tough, seeing you cry showed Zeke a whole new side to you. Because you hated being vulnerable, you refused to cry in public

Cue Zeke and you having a moment uwu

“You don’t always need to be so strong. You know that right?”

Porco Galliard

You know that he’d make it a competition.

If you’re competitive, too, it’d be a daily thing where you try to out-perform one another.

If you’re not competitive, but still win??? Nah, he’d demand rematches

He loves your natural ability, but he also admires the determination to enhance your technique

Porco is the type of guy that loves strength and respects those that are better than him

He just loves a strong woman

You were the counterpart that he didn’t think he’d ever meet. Someone that finally meets his standards without even trying? Wow.

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zer0-is-me · 3 years

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Chapter 4 - Planning a Meet Up

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

A/N:

Hello! I dropped this for some time, but now I kinda wanna keep going, so have this!

And if anyone has an idea for the title, please tell me lol :’)

Previously:

Nakamura was slowly getting to his feet, when he heard a near-silent scrape of shoes on cement. None of the men seemed to hear it, but Izuku knew he had heard something. He looked up just in time to see a figure dodge out of sight from the rooftop overhead.

He made a split second decision and climbed the building, hoping to see who else had been eavesdropping.

He’d definitely try to turn these guys in, but curiosity got the better of him in that moment.

Katsuki was having a very rough night. Honestly, at this point he wondered why his mom even wanted a kid in the first place, if all she used him for was work in the house, to insult, and to hit. (Although, a voice whispered, maybe it was just him. Maybe he was the problem.)

He shook the thoughts away and focused on his hands and feet as they leapt him over alleyways and along rooftops. Action now, thoughts later.

He’d been catching onto leads for weeks now, trying to find and stop a particularly large quirk trafficking ring. He’d been on one when he’d adventured to the other neighbourhood - the time he’d met ‘Kibo’. Obviously, it hadn’t been much of a lead.

So, here he was, tracking yet another one in his own neighbourhood. This one did seem promising, but he did say that for every other lead he’d come across, so yeah, that didn’t really mean anything.

It wasn’t much; he’d just overheard a meeting between around three people a few days ago, discussing options to make them more popular in the Underworld - basically all the underground villains and criminals that trade and sell illegal things. Quirk trafficking came up in the discussion, and they seemed to think that it was a good idea. Naturally, when they planned the next meeting, Katsuki decided to tag along. They didn’t have to know, though.

“ Well it worked, didn't it?” Darth Vader rip-off was saying. The guy who choked demon-face telepathically.

“ Of course,” Stickman replied. “ Alright, I think meetings over, yeah? Let’s go.” From Katsuki’s spot on the top of the roof, he could just barely see the man smirk before they all started to disperse. Then a glint in the corner of his eye caught his attention.

There, looking around the corner with only a side of their face showing, was a figure. Katsuki wouldn’t have recognised them, had it not been for the shiny, toxic green lining on the sides of their large hood.

Kibo.

They would easily see him if they just looked up. And honestly, Katsuki didn’t want the vigilante to be interfering with this. He couldn’t be seen - and he was one of the best at stealth around here, save maybe Eraserhead. He could easily sneak away, no problem. He’d got what he’d wanted about the Olympians anyway.

Apparently the universe didn’t agree.

As he drew his foot back to escape, it scraped quietly on the concrete roof. Luckily, the villains hadn’t heard, but Kibo must’ve trained his hearing well.

Katsuki didn’t even try to run, he just ducked his head out of view and walked to the end of the roof, waiting for the other vigilante to come up.

Not a few seconds later, Kibo’s footsteps were nearing, cautious at first but then relaxed. Katsuki turned around after making sure his gear protecting his identity was on right.

“ Dumbass. Why’re you here?” he grunted.

“ I could ask you the same question, Valour,” they said.

“ ... I patrol here?” Katsuki said. “ Now answer my question.”

They shrugged and chuckled sheepishly. “ Dunno, actually. Just wanted a change, I guess.”

Katsuki sighed. “ Alright then. Suspicious, but I honestly don’t care.”

He turned and started to walk, preparing to jump to the next building.

“ Hey, where are you going? It’s rude to just walk away, y’know,” the vigilante said with a teasing voice.

“ I’m leaving, dumbass. Obviously. Got important shit to do,” he said. It was actually true. He needed to see Eraserhead and ask if he knew anything about any kidnappings or missing cases in a specific area - if he doesn’t try to capture him first. Then he’d need to find a potential base the Olympians could be at, and there he’d kick ass. Not all in one night. This would probably take another week or two, now that he thought about it.

“ And what would your ‘important shit to do’ be?” Kibo asked. They were really getting on Katsuki’s nerves.

He turned to the vigilante, scowling. “ My ‘important shit to do’ is none of your fucking business, ya prick.”

“ I’m very wounded,” Kibo said.

“ Good.”

“ Hey!” Katsuki could practically hear the pout in his voice. “ Well that’s not very heroic of you, Valour.”

He snorted and turned again, getting ready to jump to the next roof. “ It’s a good thing I’m not a hero then, huh?”

Kibo sighed. “ Well anyway. Are we just gonna forget that conversation I know you heard too or?”

For what felt like a gazillionth time, Katsuki stood up from his crouched position - about to jump - and turned to Kibo with a scowl.

He pointed at them, “ If you say a word about that to anyone I will kill you.”

“ What? Why? We’re talking about quirk trafficking here. This is important, if you really are a vigilante as you say you are, you’ll help-“

“ Look, Dumbass,” Katsuki hissed. “ This is my fucking case. I’m the one who got on it first. I don’t need someone like you screwing it up, you hear me? I’m doing it alone, and if you even try to interfere you’ll do nothing but endanger lives. Is that really what you fucking want?”

They were quiet. Katsuki huffed and turned back, finally free to jump onto the next roof. He managed to get across three when footsteps followed him again.

He slowed down, knowing that this very annoying and infuriating vigilante wouldn’t give up anytime soon.

“ What now?” Katsuki groaned, turning to Kibo as they caught up.

“ I get that you want to work alone,” they continued quickly, not letting him respond. “ But if you’re serious about this, about catching the Olympians or whatever, then you’ll make the right decision to let me help you.

“ I’ve been training as a vigilante for a long time, I know stuff and I can be useful. I’m also great at finding someone’s weakness and thinking up plans. I’m clever. I’m agile. Just- I can’t just leave knowing I didn’t make the decision to help those in need.”

Katsuki was quiet for a second, thinking, before, “ Did you rehearse that speech?”

Kibo’s body sagged. “ Is that seriously the only thing you thought of?”

He sighed and stared at the other vigilante. “ ... I’ll think about it. This doesn’t fucking mean that you’re definitely gonna help, though.”

He probably won’t think about it, actually, but eh. It'd get the vigilante off his back.

He could see Kibo grinning even under their mask. “ Thank you! Will I get my answer by, maybe, tomorrow?”

Katsuki turned and started walking, speaking over his shoulder. “ Considering I need to carry on searching as soon as possible, any later would just be fucking inconvenient. So, tomorrow.”

Kibo nodded. “ Meeting place and time?”

The answer was quick. “ There’s a bar close by. ‘S called God’s Broth. Meet on the roof of it at midnight. If you try anything, I won’t hesitate to take you down. Can you do that?”

“ Of course,” Kibo said. “ Will I have to, uh. Show my identity?”

“ Fuck nah. I mean, you can if you want, I’m not.”

They breathed out a breath. “ Cool. Cool, uh so... bye then? Thank you, again.”

He shrugged and stopped at the side of the roof. “ Bye, dumbass.”

As he leapt off into the night, he barely caught a muttered, “ It’s Kibo, asshole.”

Huh.

So the dumbass can swear.

A/N:

I’m back! Now, I doubt anyone is actually going to read this lol, but still. Imma try. So! We finally find out more about ‘The Olympians’ and Katsuki and Izuku talk again. Not that they know that they’re talking to,,,, well,,, each other lol. But will Katsuki let Izuku help, or will Izuku have to help without permission anyway (cos we just know he’d do that)?

I hope you liked this, reblogs are really appreciated! Have a great day <3

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cosmic-gemstone · 3 years

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Like for me to drop into your DMs to plot

Fuck the depression imma kick my own ass back into gear

#ooc #starter call

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 4 years

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THE SEEIN’ DEAD MOD IS A BAND-AID FIX

gearbox locked zane’s lazy fix behind a paywall

tl;dr: for the love of god, the seein’ dead class mod should be what the seein’ red capstone is and vice versa. also. MORE SYNERGY. also i redesigned all of Zane’s trees and augments for more synergy you’re welcome.

is 1am and i don’t want tomorrow and im angry and thinking about borderlands so this seems like the perfect time to immerse myself in remaking Zane’s skill trees (for the 5th time). mainly because some of zane’s skills are still irking me and i’ve written extensive essays for the bl3 subreddit about the seein’ dead class mod and just playing around with zane’s skills in general, but i don’t think i’ve ever posted here before about it. so here we are. i notice i usually save lore/theories/characterizations for this blog and meta/balancing/gear talk for reddit. not sure why that’s a split for me.

now i’ve remade zane’s skills a number of times, but honestly this was all before the seein’ dead mod was released. then, instead of fixing his skill trees, i wrote a lot of essays about why that mod was a terrible bad decision on gearbox’s part (you can read one of the shorter arguments in a comment from 5 months ago here). I’m just gonna remake the skill trees now with all his current abilities in mind.this post really should be titled: ALL THE PROBLEMS WITH THEIR BALANCING DECISIONS

so imma just talk for a bit about why i love/hate the seein’ dead class mod.

Obviously it’s a god tier mod, and you see almost no zane builds without it, and no top tier, can solo m10 true takedown builds without it (unless ur like, the 1% of masochistic players, in which case i salute you). and while that obviously means its a good mod, it also shows the problems with all his other class mods and his skill trees in general.

They all kinda suck. and that wouldn’t be a problem, bc, hey, the seein’ dead mod is ez to get, just pop on over to the casino and kill a few baddies and they’ll drop like candy. Which is really awesome!

slight problem.

the dlc is locked behind a PAYWALL

now this is a problem because if zane was a top tier character BEFORE the dlc, and everything was hunky dory and people weren’t on their knees begging for gearbox to fix Zane, then him getting a new badass class mod wouldn’t be such a big deal. but the problem was this was gearbox’s solution to giving Zane a buff.

they literally locked a buff for a character behind a pay wall.

I recommend Zane is every single person I try to convince to play bl3, but i always have to add this like, commercial-esque asterisk. you know, terms and conditions or, side effects or whatever. *you probably want to get the seein’ dead mod if you’re looking at end-game play because unless you wanna struggle that’s his only viable play style.

what if they don’t want to buy the dlc?! for real...

There’s also the point that this class mod makes his (arguably) BEST capstone obsolete. so we have distributed denial which literally no one uses because its broken, double barrel which is always traded for seein’ red or more points in other skills, and seein’ red, WHICH WAS MADE USELESS BY THIS CLASS MOD

gsfdhjikdhgdaskjfhgaskdfjh

okay and it wouldn’t even be so bad

IF THEY DIDN’T CHANGE HIS ENTIRE SKILL SET BEFORE RELEASE

like they lowered ALL his kill skills, then they turned Seein’ Red into his capstone instead of Death Follows Close, meaning they nerfed Death Follows Close so it could fit as just a game changer. my poor boy was g u t t e d.

so, imagine this, everyone is reaching the end-game content of bl3. it’s a month or 2 weeks or whatever after the game dropped and people are finally hitting level 50. and moze/fl4k/amara are all killin’ it, and the zane players have to work their ASSES off to do like... 50% of that damage output (now, they did also eventually nerf the crap outta moze and fl4k but the point stands).

so instead of gearbox going: “oh... shit that pre-release nerf was an awful idea, revert the changes guys” they decided to keep him gutted and then they released what was, in my opinion, a kick in the nuts with the maliwan takedown (aka the antifreeze mod, alongside the spiritual driver) ahahahahahaha. what good times it was. (I say this sarcastically.)

man i remember people were soooo livid with that class mod release. well, both of them. zane mains were pissed off (for good reason). “yes, let’s make the people who are begging for a straight damage increase jump through MORE hoops (LITERALLY) for a pitiful amount of damage. oh, also, let’s give their 28 skill point build to the strongest character in the game for free and also make it 10x better”. because it was 10x better than violent momentum (driver didn’t have a damage cap) until they fixed both the spiritual driver and the violent momentum skill. it was the worst of times.

i will note here they did, around this time, let zane have stackable kill skills, but it was only 2 stacks and also it was still *incredibly* difficult to achieve stacks because zane just. struggled to kill anything. I still remember when i grinded the shit outta an antifreeze class mod and it took me over 20 minutes to kill Wotan my first time solo on m4. Not the fight UP to wotan. literally. just killing wotan.

then the seein’ dead mod dropped and i had. a fuckin. 15 minute decrease to my time on killing wotan (5 minutes!!!!). now i am not perfect, and i 100% believe i could’ve lowered the time even more. but that... that shows a VERY CLEAR problem.

they never actually fixed zane, they gave him a class mod that’s stupid OP just to make sure he could hang on next to the other Vault Hunters. it’s just a bandaid fix. you remove the class mod, and he’s back to pre-jackpot power levels (which will NOT hold up at m10, let me tell you).

all his pre-jackpot problems are still here, and that’s why people are not using any other class mod of his. I bet we could have some really fun builds with the conductor mod! but nobody will ever use it because it’s just... not even close to the seein’ dead mod.

So what does the seein’ dead mod do that makes Zane so good?

IT BRINGS HIM BACK TO PRE-RELEASE VALUES

this mod, plus Death Follows Close, brings Zane back to pre-release zane. and i don’t understand how gearbox isn’t putting two and two together and going “Oh.”

it also is a BETTER VERSION of Seein’ Red!!! something players could have had at, like, level 15, but instead had to wait until they hit a capstone! the capstone is completely obsolete at this point. There is nothing seein’ red can give you that seein’ dead doesn’t do but better. Getting that capstone is a w a s t e of skill points.

AND they locked this fix behind a pay wall!!! i cannot say that enough. you don’t wanna get the handsome jackpot dlc?? guess u don’t wanna play zane at endgame then. too bad, so sad.

have i stated that enough? because it still blows my fuckin mind. THEY LOCKED A CHARACTER FIX BEHIND A PAYWALL

djhdgakjhakjdah. imagine playing without any prior knowledge and being like, aw man i love this zane character. can’t wait to get to max mayhem end game like all my favorite youtubers and friends!! then finding out you gotta drop 15 bucks or whatever it is just to actually be able to play at max mayhem level. that is not a skill difference, that is A BALANCING PROBLEM MY DUDES. like. my favorite zer0 build was still viable without the story DLCs. obviously grog > rubi, pimp > lyuda, rapier > law but, it was still fuckin viable.

guh. gufhgufhsdgkfjsdh. it bothers me.

ok so there’s a lot i just went over: my main issue? is that by making Seein’ Red a capstone, they did nothing to make it an actual legit capstone. They definitely nerfed Death Followed Close to make it a gamechanger, but they never gave Seein’ Red a buff to move it from a gamechanger to a capstone. It was the same exact skill. Seein’ Dead is what Seein’ Red SHOULD be and that’s what angers the crap outta me. they locked this obvious fix behind a pay wall (AND a gear slot!!!!!) n ur probably thinking ‘but cruddy this WAS really nice of them to try and fix zane... they could’ve just let him be suuc’ and like, yeah, they could’ve, and it is good they’re TRYING, but also, they’re leaving the people who DON’T buy the DLC high and dry.

keep in mind i DO own the dlc. have the season pass and everything. IM STILL MAD!!!

Zane should be strong no matter what class mod the players want to use. Same with Amara, same with Moze, same with Fl4k. FFS, it is not that hard. CHANGE THEIR SKILLS!!!!!

so im gonna be taking the time to go over all of zane’s skills and shit just to put him more on par with the others (WITHOUT THE SEEIN’ DEAD MOD)

imagine the seein’ dead mod doesn’t exist for this. we’re gonna make a balanced character since apparently THAT’S TOO HARD FOR A TRIPLE-A BALANCING TEAM

first things first, the tree with the most fuckin problems:

Under Cover

oh god this tree is a fucking train wreck what the hell were they thinking. good god. my eyes. they’re burning.

not actually, but it still kinda sucks.

Action Skill: Barrier is fine. I would not add the ‘picking it up decreases benefits’ when Zane’s whole schtick is running around fast. You get the full bonus no matter what form it’s in. also, you can hold down the action skill activation button to deploy the barrier directly on yourself.

Tier 1: Hearty Stock is a trap. never get this. so dumb. no synergy with his other skills. Adrenaline is okay, but not really great during end game. Ready For Action is similarly okay. Just a very MEH start to this tree.

Adrenaline: Zane gains increased Action Skill Cooldown Rate. 10% per level, up to 50%. this shouldn’t be tied to his shields being full because if your barrier is down (cooling DOWN)... your shield is taking damage. c’mon now. THINK GEARBOX T H I N K

Hearty Stock: (maxed) Zane and his clone gain 5% magazine regeneration while an action skill is active. This skill stacks. In it’s original state, this skill is such a trap skill. for real.

Ready For Action: i mean, it’s fine. We’ll keep it. +30% shield recharge rate and -29% (why????) recharge delay

Tier 2: ech. Stiff Upper Lip is not that good. Brain freeze is what u really want. Rise to the Occasion is also okay.

Brain Freeze: keep the same.

Stiff Upper Lip: when Zane is damaged with a hit that would break his shield, he gains (max) +20% bonus gun damage on his next shot through the barrier.

Rise to the Occasion: Zane and his clone gain health regeneration. +5% max health/s. Not determined by shield availability.

Tier 3: `screams in confident competence` oh lawd. this skill is good. the accuracy thing is kinda laughable. i tell you, i always thought that zane was originally meant to be the sniper with the Under Cover tree but they decided to swap Zane and Fl4k’s skills. which is why Zane has soooo many accuracy buffs.

Confident Competence: fine the way it is. I would also add, since this IS a game changer, that the Barrier’s damage amp is now 40%.

Tier 4: ew. tier 4. Really Expensive Jacket is literally the only skill you might want to get and EVEN THEN. ugh. Best Served Cold is so pointless. and so is Futility Belt. YOU TAKE MORE DAMAGE WITH IT

Really Expensive Jacket: Elemental Status Effects have reduced duration (-50%). Additionally, Zane is not slowed by Cryo anymore.

Best Served Cold: Remove the cooldown. Buff up the damage at least 200%. Make it an AOE Brain Freeze. That is, the cryo novas stack and if overkill damage is high enough, enemies hit with the novas freeze. Kinda like a discount Frozen Heart.

Futility Belt: HA. Ahahahahaha. Ha. Zane gains resistance to non-elemental and cryo damage (+15%). Futhermore, after killing an enemy, Zane’s barrier gains additional cryo damage (+20%) for 8s.

Tier 5: is oki. My only real complaint is with Nerves of Steel. Like. Seriously.

Refreshment: god tier skill actually. Keep the same.

Best Served Cold: also keep the same. The only change I will make is this: resetting your action skills’ cooldowns counts as action skill start and end.

Nerves of Steel: The longer Zane’s barrier is active, the more stacks of Nerves of Steel he gains (a maximum of 15). For each stack, Zane gains 2% shock damage, 2% cryo efficiency, and 1% damage to frozen enemies. (why shock damage? cryo doesn’t do well against shields.)

Tier 6: *cries in the worst capstone in the entire series* WHO DID THIS. WHY. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU???

Distributed Denial: no. just. no. scrap this whole damn thing. IT DOESN’T EVEN WORK!!!! either fix it COMPLETELY or do something else. My recommendation? Whenever Zane throws down his barrier, his shield instantly begins recharging. If Zane’s shield is already full or recharging, enemies with no shields (or freeze immunity) that touch Zane’s Barrier for the next 10s are instantly frozen.

Augments: why the hell do i gotta place my barrier down when my entire fuckin’ character is about RUNNING. ALSO JUST AS A BLANKET STATEMENT: ALL THESE AUGMENTS WORK 100% EVEN IF HIS BARRIER IS PICKED UP. SO DUMB. a fully pointless restriction.

that last sentence immediately fixes Charged Relay and Nanites or Some Shite.

Redistribution: If his shields are full, Zane can sacrifice 50% of his shields to have his next shot deal 100% bonus cryo damage by holding F.

All-Rounder: Fine as is. Only thing I would add: whenever Zane melees an enemy, his shields are drained by 50% and his sliding augment is added to the melee attack.

Deterrence Field: Fine as is. But! I would add: whenever Zane sprints into an enemy, his shields are drained by 50% and slam augment is activated.

THAT WAY we can have both slam/sliding relics actually DO SOMETHING. because my god they’re so useless rn.

alright, moving on.

Hitman

Tier 1: is okay. nobody ever takes cold bore. ever.

Violent Speed: fine as is, but we’re taking it back to pre-release values. Max: 30%. can stack 2x.

Cold Bore: Zane gains (max) 20% bonus cryo damage to all shots fired while moving.

Violent Momentum: fine as is, but taking it back to pre-release values. 30% gun damage at default walk speed. Additionally, Zane can now shoot while sprinting.

Tier 2: my boy zoomer needs more fun.

Cool Hand: fine as it is. I would buff his base reload speed up to 20% and kill skill reload to 20% as well. 17 and 13 are such weird numbers.

Drone Delivery: fine as it is. Additionally, Zoomer’s base shots now take on the element of Zane’s grenade mod.

Salvation: fine as it is. I won’t mess with this bc life steal is messy business (coughs in grog)

Tier 3: hhhynf.fdsg.

Death Follows Close: Kill Skill Bonus: +30%. Kill Skill Time: +7s. Additionally, enemies targeted by Zoomer take 5% more damage from Zane.

Tier 4: these two skills are actually p dope by themselves. it can stay as it is. I would MAYBE increase the violent violence max buff up to 20% but that’s just me.

Tier 5: ahahahaha. this skill. just remember, we’re pretending Seein’ Dead doesn’t exist, so imagine how this skill looks next to calm cool n collected. so pointless.

Good Misfortune: Killing an enemy with a critical hit adds (max) 10% efficiency to Zane’s kill skills for 8s. This does not stack.

Tier 6: WE’RE GONNA MAKE YOU RELEVANT AGAIN BOO HANG IN THERE

Seein’ Red: Zane has a (4%) chance to activate his kill skills upon dealing gun damage to an enemy. Additionally, enemies targeted by Zoomer now take 15% more damage from Zane.

so why didn’t we make good misfortune the infinite action skill build?? BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT CCnC IS SUPPOSED TO DO!!! why have 2 skills that do the exact same thing AT THE EXACT SAME TIER except ONE IS OBJECTIVELY WORSE!!!!!

what happens to the Seein’ Dead class mod if we’re giving its perk to this capstone? I’m so glad you asked. “Zane activates his kill skills when activating his action skills. Additionally, the kill skills activated this way have 15% more efficiency”. look how much better balanced that is!!!! that’s a class mod!!!!!!!!

Augments: these aren’t THAT bad, but they could be a lot better.

Winter’s Drone: Zoomer gains 20% bonus cryo damage to all shots.

Bad Dose: pump these numbers up. Fire Rate: +7% per affected enemy. Movement Speed: +10% per enemy. everything else is fine.

Boomsday: just make this more beefy. fr. It’d be a good choice if it were stronger.

Static Field: also fine. I would again give it better damage output, but that’s just me.

Almighty Ordnance: remove the build up honestly. Like i get the vibe and it’s really cool, but in combat it just DOESN’T WORK. maybe if Zoomer is targeting an enemy, he will unleash the missiles if they are above 50% health after 30s or something. I honestly think these should have a debuffing factor instead of a damage factor (you know, to not get in the way of boomsday). maybe something around 15%? the 1x per action skill activation thing would be easily subverted with CCnC with the changes we suggested, so it could work.

Doubled Agent

ahhh, Blane. Blue Zane. Love ya, buddy. One change: he prioritizes pinged targets. That way you can kinda get him to fight specific people. Also, lower the teleportation timer. pls.

Tier 1: actually p good. could be better, but its not bad.

Synchronicity: Zane gains 20% bonus damage per active action skill. While Zane has an action skill active, he gains a stack of Synchronicity. Max Stacks: 10. For each stack of Synchronicity, Zane gains 5% Action Skill Cooldown Rate and 2% Action Skill Damage.

Praemunitus: Zane and his digiclone gain (max) 30% magazine size.

Borrowed Time: For each action skill active, Zane gains 30% action skill duration. The longer Zane’s action skills are active, he and Blane gain a higher Fire Rate and faster Reload Speed, up to 20%. (the idea is you choose between this or synchronicity bc... either permanent action skills build or fast paced action skills build)

Tier 2: Donnybrook is fun. Fractal Frags is fun. Duct tape mod is a GODDAMN DISAPPOINTMENT

Donnybrook: fine as it is. I might buff the max numbers up to 20% gun damage and 3% health regen. But that’s really it.

Fractal Frags: Blane will periodically toss a grenade from Zane’s stockpile at his targeted enemy (cooldown: 20s). Kill Skill: Blane has a 45% chance to throw a free grenade.

Duct Tape Mod: this skill... why... No cooldown. NONE. Zane has a 1% chance to also fire a grenade from his gun. Kill Skill: This is increased to 15% for 8s (stays at 1% for the whole time, but the kill skill will increase by 3% for each tier)

Tier 3: Actually Quick Breather is one of my favorite skills. this can stay.

Quick Breather: Same as is. Additionally, Zane and his clone gain 25% Gun Damage after swapping places for a short time (8s). I really wanna promote swapping places. It’s really underutilized. they’ve ADDED stuff to this skill already!!! even tho it didn’t work until the next patch. BUT THEY SHOW ITS POSSIBLE TO ADD TO SKILLS!!!

Tier 4: actually a really good tier. a few minor changes.

Pocket Full of Grenades: Kill Skill: Zane gains (max) 15% grenade regeneration for 8s. If Zane’s grenades are full, any excess grenades are shot from his gun with 25% bonus damage.

Old-U: If Zane falls into FFYL while his digiclone is active, he can press the action skill activation key to destroy his clone and gain a second wind. When he does this, he takes the place of his clone. His clone will also drop a grenade when it is destroyed.

Supersonic Man: Zane gains increased movement speed for each active action skill: (max) 15% each. Additionally, teleportation is considered to be Zane’s maximum speed for its duration and 5s after.

Tier 5: oh god oh fuck oh god.

Like a Ghost: Oh god why. Zane and his digiclone gain a (max) 15% chance to ignore all damage while teleporting and for 7s after.

Boom. Enhance: actually a pretty swell skill. I would probably add Health Regen +3% per grenade tho. Blane needs help a lot.

Trick of the Light: bring back the shock damage. Zane deals 40% bonus shock damage for 7s after swapping places with his clone.

Tier 6: oh ngl I actually love this capstone lol

Double Barrel: Zane’s digiclone gains a copy of Zane’s current gun when it is deployed (and all the anointments work and he actually fires it like a reasonable person). Zane’s clone now deals damage equal to Zane’s base weapon damage. Upon swapping places, both Zane and his digiclone deal 50% bonus damage for 7s.

Augments:

Binary System: is okay. Kinda uhhh underwhelming tho. Buff up the damage and also maybe reduce teleportation time.

Schadenfreude: I like this one a lot. Zane’s shield is restored by 100% of the damage his digiclone takes and vice versa.

Dopplebanger: lower the waiting time. I get that u don’t wanna override the teleportation, but it’s really annoying. Buff damage and don’t make it dependent on action skill duration. If this explosion kills an enemy, the clone is reactivated with 50% action skill duration.

Which One’s Real?: I’ve never actually felt this work. Maybe for like 2 seconds? Make it work more like Zer0′s hologram or Timmy’s Jack clones or smth. Maybe give an activation cue? im v lost with this one. Enemies targeting Zane take 30% more damage from the digiclone.

Digital Distribution: 75% of the health damage Zane takes is distributed to his clone instead. The digiclone gains 5% Health Regeneration/s and sends out 3 [level specific damage] shock spikes to enemies that attack it.

literally all Zane needs is SYNERGY. if they can change a few skills, pump up a few numbers, and ffs fix the seein’ red/dead capstone/mod, they’d be in FUCKIN BUSINESS

but no instead

THEY LOCKED THE BUFF BEHIND A PAYWALL.

WHYYYYYY

#>:(#borderlands #im not redirecting my anger im legitimately angrey about this wat u mean #bl3 #zane flynt #but actually this is such a frustrating thing to deal with

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dayasbun · 5 years

Text

Fame - Angus Cloud (3)

Summary- a luckily timed audition leads to you falling for your new and unexpected co-star.

Warnings- okay HI welcome to my first multi chapter series woah?! this is actually so exciting for me like wow especially since angus doesn’t have any fics yet im just really really excited- so warnings! smut for sure, bad words, lotsa fluff, angst- everything in one basically. here comes a ride and I hope you enjoy :)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3 {reading now}

Well, needless to say you got the role.

The final run through with Drake was successful, he started spewing off about how talented you were. You did your usual which was smile and nod, and Angus told you to "Stop being so shy mamas. You gotta get used to this."

Time flew as you turned in forms, focused on moving closer to set, and grew your social media audience. It was all exciting but also overwhelming, however you already loved it.

You and Angus seemed to be getting more comfortable with each other, the tension was wearing off and a simple friendship was forming. The luxury apartment you were moving into for when filming ceased was conveniently just a few doors down from his apartment, you two were going to be in the same complex. You talked quite often and filming hadn't even started yet, and you almost felt silly for feeling intimidated, if that was even the word, by him before. He'd offered to come over to help you move in- and even though the tension had faded, your {sometimes} inappropriate thoughts of him hadn't.

But today was the day everything kicked into gear, because today was the first day of filming.

You and Angus decided to meet up at a small, locally owned coffee shop before heading to set. You could both go together, and since he offered to drive, you could save some gas.

You got there early, you two were to meet at 7:30 am, you were there at 7:25 due to leaving time to dodge the traffic. Angus came through the door yawning at 8:17- due to oversleeping.

"Do you always do this?" you laughed sliding a donut over to him as he sat down across from you in the booth.

"Do what?" he asked, eating half of the donut in one big bite.

"Are you always late- like on set? Because most of my scenes are with you and I-"

"You think ahead a lot, I just like sleeping, you should like it too you feel what I mean? Sleep is just that bitch...if there was a girl like sleep then I would have a girl."

Half of the time the things Angus came up with made zero sense to you, but you always just agreed and moved along. For example, yesterday night he called you at 12:32 am just to let you know that the Frosted Flakes box had 'of corn' in small writing under the bold logo. You said you'd never noticed that- which was the truth, and then that led to him telling you the complete history of Mandela effects. You didn't get back to bed until 1:54.

"And to be fair Y/N, you kept me up last night with that Mandela effect shit." he said with a smirk as he finished off the donut.

Your mouth fell open as you rolled your eyes "Boy as if! You wish I-"

"So you quoting 90s movies now? That's new, don't really know how I feel ab-"

"Lets go," you shook your head standing up and tossing your coffee cup into the garbage.

You two walked out and into the warm LA air. "You read the scripts at all?" He asked you as you headed to his car.

"I did! We have a lot of scenes...some are quite different."

"What you mean? Not boutta lie I didn't read anything past the first episode cuz them other shits too far away."

"Well, sex is always a given in Euphoria."

"Yeah them nude scenes finna make me feel a bit violated if you know what I mean."

"You'll be fine, all you show is your ass but I have to-"

"Oh shit I gotta show my cheeks? For real? On television- aw nah I gotta talk to somebody about tha-"

"I have to show everything except my baby maker so...who really has it worse?"

"Yo' baby maker? Is that them gorgeous eyes cuz it sure does make me want to make a baby wit' you."

Was that a joke-

He did this alot. You never knew if he was actually flirting or if it was just him joking around, but you always assumed it was the latter.

"Was that a...was that a joke from you Angus? How rare!"

He flipped you off with a goofy grin at the next red light and you laughed. "No all jokes aside though Gus, I gotta show my whole body, titties and all. Like my parents are going to watch this how do I? Explain?"

“Well we can fuck wit’ all that when we get to it.”

“Oh baby...” You said sarcastically. “You didn't actually read the first episodes script did you?”

“What you mean?”

You pulled the script from out of your tote, clearing your throat before you started to read. “Jess looks at Fez with a gleam of interest in her eyes. ‘Its been awhile tiger’ she says in a certain way, a way that makes Fez adjust his- yeah I’m not reading that- ‘It has’ Fez says biting his lip. He wants her, but he doesn't know if she wants him too...he thinks she doe-”

“We gotta have sex the first episode? Nah you lying.”

“Episode 1, 3, 5, 7 and 8.”

“Holy shit what?! Aint nobody have that much sex last season...”

“Yeah but its because of our storyline. Jess and Fez constantly want each other and they think the only way to let it out is through sex- they are both terrible with commitment and Jess is afraid of Fez’s dealing; even if she wants to be with him that's keeping her away.”

“Damn, my manz Fez gettin’ the short end of the stick.”

“Jess is the only one getting a short stick Angus.”

It took him a minute to understand what you said, but as soon as he comprehended it his eyes widened. “Girl no you didnt- you know I’m packing- how you gon’ do me like that?!” he said defensively as he parked. You couldn't help but to laugh as you hurried out of the car. “Imma get you back for that!” He yelled after you. You shook your head and walked to the main trailer where everyone was to gp.

Walking in you saw only Z and Storm, Queen Bey played softly in the background showing the girls in front of you were in their element. “Hey girl!” Z said giving you a quick side hug. “Dont worry about being late, its all good. You came with Angus didn't you?”

You nodded whilst rolling your eyes and took the key she was holding out, walking back out and to your trailer.

The trailer was cozy, comfortable and not too small. It had quite a modern look to it, and the look on the outside didn't match the inside at all. You smiled as you sat on the sofa, seeing a white envelope on the glass table. On it was scribbled ‘Angus and Y/N’. Before you could get up to go over to his trailer, he walked in- no invitation, no knock, no anything. “Gee!!!! Good thing I wasn’t naked!” You said sarcastically as you glared at him.

“Yeah whateva. We gotta read this letter together I guess.” He said plopping down beside you.

“Yeah yeah okay, I can read it out loud.” You said cracking open the envelope and pulling out the bright white printer paper. “Okay here we go...it's from...Drake?”

“Ah shit.”

“Don’t worry yet, it's probably just- let me just read.”

Angus nodded and got more comfortable on the sofa as you started to read. “Angus and Y/N. On behalf of your upcoming roles I wanted to tell you guys to loosen up. Theres alot of sexy time to film, and I don't want the viewers to feel the sexual tension from Angus and Y/N, I want them to feel it radiating from Jess and Fez. Make kissing casual, make being naked around each other casual too. Don't make that shit weird. And Angus, make sure you can get it up. If it takes...oh-” you stopped for a moment.

“What?” Angus looked at you and you cocked your head to one side still inspecting the letter.

“Okay- here, he said: If it takes walking around each other unclothed then do it, take care of that tension between you two. I could feel it in the final run through, meaning that the viewers would be able to sense it as well. I'm only saying all this cuz its your first time filming together. I need art, not high school production shit. You guys have the passion, and you click. But there's something missing. Make the fuck out and get this show on the road. I'm always a call away if its not working out-- Drake.”

“Well damn. What he tryna say?”

“Angus it's clear what he's saying- I mean come on I feel the tension between us too, and I don't know what it is but hes right, whatever it is we need to get over it, and move on from that. This is business- an art form we have to work through. Ight?”

“Ight. So what I’m hearing is we gotta make out and get naked.”

“We aren't doing anything until ya girl takes a nap.”

“How you sleepy we just got here and you woke up 3 hours ago?”

“Listen man it is not my fault I only got 4 and a half hours of sleep-”

“SO you tryna say it’s mine?!” “It is! With your mandela effecr loving ass.”

He chuckled under his breath. “Okay okay, fair. But lemme sleep wit’ you.” “What? Why?”

“You the one that read the letter, we gotta drop this tension lil mama. And if we legit just sleeping, ion see nun wrong wit’ it, do you?”

You thought it over, and he had a point. There was nothing wrong with it, sleeping is sleeping...and besides, you two would have to do much worse.

“Whatever, come on.”

“Let’s go to my trailer though.”

“What? Why? Ion wanna walk come on Angu-”

“I can carry you then. But my place more homey, you just got here and your bed ain’t even got sheets.”

Damn, why is he always right? “Okay fine but carry me.”

He hunched down in front of the sofa “Get on my back and we can go.”

You grabbed your phone getting onto his back and holding on tight, your arms around his neck and your thighs squishing his sides. “Go go go!” You giggled, feeling safe as you rested your chin on the top of his head.

He ran to the trailer, causing you to laugh and hold on even tighter. Dropping you onto the bed, he looked around the small trailer-bedroom for more covers.

“You know girl,” he said looking into the closet “You kinda cute. How you was laughing out there had my heart beating fast and shit.” He found a throw and turned back around to ask you if it was good, but you were already out, completely sound asleep, and cuddled into a pillow. “Damn so you ain't hear none o’ that huh?” He sighed. “Probably better on my end. Can’t be catching feelings and shit.” He covered you over and lay beside you.

In your sleep your body detected the body heat, so you unknowingly turned over, cuddling into his chest. A smile formed on your lips as you moved closer, practically wrapping yourself around him.

The man sighed placing his lips to your forehead and leaving a light kiss. “Yeah. No catching feelings.”

taglist:

@nikkixostan @melaninmarvel @celiajrs @siriuslycollins

#fezco #fezco fic #fezco euphoria #fez euphoria #fezco fluff #fezco x reader #angus cloud #angus cloud fic #fanfic #hbo euphoria #euphoria

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granddaughterogg · 4 years

Note

Hey not sure if you did this before but... How would the horsemen react to their s/o having the flu. (I'm sick and crave affection) 🤒🤒🤒

Sorry that answering to this one took me so long! You’re probably all better by now.

But anyway:

You woke up one grey autumn morning and even before you’ve unglued your eyelids - everything was terrible. Your head was throbbing with a dull ache. Your bones felt as if filled with lead. You opened your eyes, made the heroic attempt to sit up - and groaned when your whole body spasmed with a violent shiver.

“Oh, for fucks’ sake”, you mumbled and then called out…

1. “War!…”

Your voice sounded ridiculous - nasal, scratchy and weak, as if someone has stuffed damp cotton wool inside your sinuses. That confirmed your grim suspicions.

But he heard you anyway. The whole house trembled with the reverb of the Red Rider’s heavy steps. He stomped into your shared bedroom, filling it completely with that transatlantic frame of his. You noticed that War had already put on his battle gear. It made him even chunkier.

“What’s wrong?” He fell close to you, his body taut, his head low, lightning blue eyes scanning the room. Always on the lookout for enemies, that one. Always ready to protect you.

But this enemy has attacked from the inside.

“War…” you groaned, putting one hand on his iron arm. It was pleasantly cold to the touch. And you were burning.

“No one’s here, baby. I’m just sick.”

“Oh.” The Big Guy relaxed from his battle stance and looked you in the eyes, those wide silver eyebrows scrunching in worry. “Is it…your monthly affliction?”

This guy grew up with a sister, yet he was still such a Victorian when it came to phrasing those things. You would probably laugh if you didn’t feel so weak.

“No, War. But I’m hurting all over and I’m pretty sure I have a fever. I feel bad asking you this since you’re all dressed up for work already…but could you be a darling and get me some Tylenol? And maybe Vitamin C as well?

“My mission can wait”, War stated, making your heart aflutter. “Are you sure that those concoctions will suffice though? What else do you require?”

You scratched your head.

“Hot tea, I guess? A whole jug of it would be nice. Squeeze a lemon in it, will you? Just leave the peel outside…if you can.”

“I shall do my utmost”, said your boyfriend solemnly (you fought the urge to giggle again) and left the room.

2. “Strife!”

It was a weak cry. He obviously didn’t hear it. So you tried again.

“Strife!”

Still nothing. What was that giant doofus doing at such an ungodly hour anyway? He should be lying next to you, snoring like a woolly mammoth.

“STRIFE!!! GET YER ASS HERE, PRONTO!”

That worked. You’ve hear some penetrating, metallic noise coming from inside the house. What followed was a yelp, than a shuffle of feet - and some muffled curses.

He stuck his bed head through the doorframe.Technically speaking, it’s always been a bed head. Gravity happened to other heads of hair. Strife’s was just…defiantly spiky.

“You awake, babe?”

“Nope. I’m hollering your name in my sleep”, you snorted.

He flashed you a toothy grin. “Aww. How romantic!”

“Please come back to the trite reality, Strife. I really need you to.”

“No worries, pumpkin. Your screaming made me drop Redemption on my foot! And I was really getting somewhere with that improvement, too - “

“Earth to the Horseman”, you sighed. “I am ill, Strife. And I feel like shit.”

His whole face changed in a heartbeat.

“Oh, babe.” Suddenly Strife was all up in your grill, the revolver forgotten on the floor behind him, wide black eyebrows pulled together, his large fingers framing your face. Which was hot.

“Oh, bubbles. You’re burnin’.” Strife’s touched your forehead a few times, just to be sure - and left a generous amount of gun grease behind. “You’re burnin’! Is this something humans do?”

“Well, we’re not supposed to…” you murmured.

His yellow eyes went round with panic. “Will you die?”

“What?”

“Please don’t die on me!”

You stifled a long, hearty sigh.

“I won’t kick the bucket that easily. But I need you to bring me tea and some meds. And stop being such a drama llama. It’s not helping.”

He did. And after that he went under the duvet and enclosed you in a firm embrace, refusing to let go until you get better. The fever made your head swirl; you were sleepy. Your consciousness drifted away. The whole world was just Strife’s earthy smell, mixed with the tinge of gun oil and then nothingness.

3. “Death!…”

“There’s no need for making noise”, a gravelly voice observed. “I am right here.”

“Death…” Your head snapped to the left and indeed, there he was. Sat cross-legged on the floor next to the window. A streak of dim morning light glimmered in his tar black hair, bringing out the purple undertones. He was sharpening one of his smaller scythes. His large hand swiftly moved up and down its blade, producing a tiny, piercing grind. You’d probably hear it earlier if your ears weren’t so clogged.

“Yes?” His voice was as level as his movements. It soothed you, this steadiness.

Death can take care of this. Take care of you.

“I am sick, D. Down with some bloody flu. My whole body aches.”

His face darted upwards; two blazing eyes met yours and then slid along your whole frame. There was nothing lecherous about it. Not this time. He simply assessed your state. Took it all in; the bleary gaze, the dark circles under your eyes, your unnatural paleness.

He silently put the weapon away. Stood up, leaned over you and cautiously swiped one damp streak of hair away from your sweaty face.

If two years ago someone told you that you’ll consider the literal Grim Reaper a comfort-inducing sight, you’d ask them if they’ve hit their heads.

But so much has happened during those two years. Like the whole Apocalypse.

“So it seems”, he said. “Which is unfortunate. What do you need me to do?”

You told him. You swallowed some pills (unlike Strife, D didn’t need to be instructed twice about where they’re kept), you had a cup of intensely lemony tea with ginger and some acacia honey, which he threw in in for good measure - and then you flopped onto the bedsheets.

“Imma gonna lie back down now…” you mumbled, your eyes already closing on their own.

Death sat close, his broad back pressed into the side of the bed, and reached for his scythe.

“Rest as long as you need to. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Death?…”

“Yes?”

“Could you…read me aloud for a while, maybe? I really like listening to your voice, you know…” Your own was hoarse, girly and helpless. Pathetic. It’s hard to sound like a sultry vixen when your nose is full. But your Horseman didn’t seem to care.

His siblings went back home some time later and were taken aback by this unusual sight. You lying flat, transformed into an ailing burrito - and the Reaper on the floor with a small, old, worn-out book in his hand. His deep, raspy timbre sounded loud and clear, weaving the tale.

“One morning - it was the morning that Moomintroll’s pappa finished building a bridge over the river - the little animal Sniff made a discovery. (There were still plenty of things left to discover for them in the valley. he was wondering in the forest when he suddenly noticed a path he had never seen before winding mysteriously into the green shadows. Sniff was spellbound and stood gazing at it for several minutes. It’s funny about paths and rivers, he mused. You see them go by, and suddenly you feel upset and want to be somewhere else - wherever the path or the river is going, perhaps.”

War was the first to put a finger on his lips and stalk closer, but his siblings followed suit. They all sat around, enthralled by the voice.

#ask answered #darksiders #darksiders war #darksiders strife #darksiders death #couldn't be bothered to write one for fury tbh #i like her #but I'm just really straight y'all LOL #ask me anything!

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illicreatxm · 4 years

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Can you believe it’s been seven years? Seven years?! Since I entered the rpc??? (I mean I made my first rp blog in 2012 but didn’t rp fully until 2013 lmao.) And I’ve never ever made a follow forever or official thank you thing ever??? I guess I answer memes but I’ve never officially gone out and made a thing to properly thank people lol.

So here’s a thing! Since I came back to the rpc this year, I’ve honestly felt more appreciated than ever, and even though I’ve recently done a meme for this kind of thing I want to do an official kind of thing to thank you guys for following me all the way to the end of this year! Also, I’ve made it to the end of 2019 and uni hasn’t killed me yet so we might as well celebrate that whilst we’re at it.

I’m going to start off by thanking all of my wonderful followers for actually following me upon my return to the rp world! It really feels like I was gone forever and part of me was worried that I’d come back to nothing or very few of my old partners, but you’ve all honestly welcomed me back with open arms and I’ve even met some new people! You’re all so kind and friendly and have such wonderful characters/canon depictions that if I had the mental energy or time (or, you know, the ability to be social without being awkward around new people), I would be threading with more of you! But I am an exhausted fool so obviously that isn’t happening yet. But I just want to let you know that I love you all and am so thankful for you guys making it to the end of 2019 with me!

And now for the special mentions! (Got kinda long so under the read more!)

To my rp partners (the nerds who put up with my craziness and scattered brain/weirdo ocs):

@mirror-image-rp – You know what I’m gonna start with you because I love you a lot and you are my longest remaining rp partner. Honestly, honestly, this sweet bean is so kind and funny and I just want to thank you for sticking by me and being my close friend all these years. Even when I’ve been awkward, or overexcitable, or just irritating/clingy (because I know very well that I can be). As I’ve mentioned before, I wouldn’t have all these children I do have now if it weren’t for you – both Jodie and Jake came to life through you, and everyone else through them, and it’s all of these muses together that have kept me in the rp world. Thank you, thank you, thank you for being so creative and sticking by me and creating worlds with me and just plain talking with me; I am so proud of you for everything, and honestly, I look forward to all of these children reattaching themselves to yours (lol Rachel’s already started) in the New Year. Love you lots!!!

@a-simple-rper – Nyra!!! My bean!!! My broski!!! There is so much to thank you for!! We’ve been real close friends for almost six years, which is so crazy to think about, and every single one of those years has been full of crazy fun times! Thank you so much for having such a huge impact on my children!! The little family we started forming way back when with Jake and Sam and Rick has grown so much over the years, and now I honestly can’t imagine my muses without yours – to the point where our verse is really my main verse and Kat and Laura now have distinct types that they fall for and won’t go for anything else! Thank you so much for every single conversation you’ve had with me, and I 100% look forward to letting our little family grow bigger and bigger as we add more and more muses to it!!

@astrologicallyperfect – Dearest pure bean Hanna, you deserve so much love, omg. I still remember you from way back and, honestly, thank you for still coming back to these idiots I call muses? Thank you for sticking with me and creating a million AUs and creating a whole world with all these muses we have that I love so much – all these ships and friendships we have just make me fall more and more in love with this world with powers that we’ve created and I honestly thank you for putting up with my crazy and my dumbassery for all this time, sweetpea. I honestly get so excited creating universes and AUs and headcanons with you and I just can’t wait to create even more!!!

@thegallantspirit – If I were to say that Lux was one of my relatively newer friends, even I wouldn’t believe it. I honestly feel like I’ve known you for so long, and I just want to thank you so much for becoming my friend and basically being an all around kind and sweet person! Thank you so much for actually rping with me, even when I’m spotty and a little bit manic at times, and for loving on my less-loved children! Thank you also for pulling me into your rp group and introducing me to so many wonderful people! You are honestly so kind and sweet to me!

@damagedbyfate – Patty!!! I honestly don’t think I thank you or appreciate you enough for all you’ve done for me. One of my newer friends, I was definitely real shy when I approached you for the first time because you had all these muses, but really you and your many muses are wonderful! You’re so kind and friendly and open and thank you so much for still being kind and friendly to me even when my brain isn’t wanting to cooperate with me as much! Honestly some of my muses really look forward to forming closer relationships with yours, and I look forward to threading and rping with you more in the new year!!

@lokitheliesmith – Okay but, Z, you’ve been one of my longest rp partners and I am very much glad that we started threading way back when Allie had her own blog. You are honestly such a kind person and even if I seem awkward, I very much enjoy chatting with you ooc. Heck, even Allie looks back fondly on our first thread together. Thank you so much for (still) rping with me and chatting with me and even offering to keep me accountable for my sleep schedule! You really help me out a lot and have generally been a sweetheart and I just thank you so much for that. Have a wonderful New Year, and my muses and I really look forward to continuing to thread with you!!

@hermosa-pesadilla/ @tattedasshole – Jess, you are, honestly, so kind whenever I do end up chatting with you that it makes me wish that I kicked my ass into gear and chatted with you more. Thank you so much for being kind to me and for threading with my sweet boy, Obed! Not many people actually thread with my sweetheart and I’m glad that he’s found a friend in Abby! I honestly wish all the best for you in the New Year, and thank you for being so wonderful! Obed and I definitely look forward to threading with you more!!!

@natvralforce – Imma be honest with you Rey whenever I think of you I feel like a uni grandma and just want you protected and buried in blankets and love. You are an absolute sweetheart and I love your sweet child and!!! Thank you for shipping with George!!! He usually exhausts everyone but he really loves Ali a lot and I feel like I’m holding him back a lot of the time lol. Thank you so much for following me and threading with me and accepting my hyperactive danger boy who is literally a walking hazard. I really look forward to threading with you more in the New Year!!

@thexcourageous – Honestly, Rosie, I can’t believe I’ve been threading with you and Bailey and Alex for so long! You’re a sweetheart and a joy to chat and thread with, and thank you so much for still putting up with my dumbass muses. I honestly love the fact that we still thread in the PJO world because I rarely venture into that fandom anymore but I love that I can throw my muses into their demigod verse with you and continue to explore that side of them! Thank you for rping with me and sticking with me for so long! Good luck to you in everything, and I look forward to rping with you more in the New Year!

@sxilingthegalaxy – Aaaaaah Briana! I know we thread only a little bit, but thank you so much for even that! I very much like your muse, Elayne, and throwing Alex into a situation where he feels so awkward gives me so much life you don’t understand. (He’s so egotistical half the time!) I honestly very much look forward to threading more with you in the coming year!

To those I don’t thread with on here (at the moment):

Also, thank you so much to these people! We may not thread on tumblr/may not thread at the moment/may not have started threading properly yet, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still appreciate you! (You guys are still here following this blog so I must be doing something right...) Thank you so much for chatting with me and being so friendly and sweet, whether we’re just plotting or having a general conversation, and if we haven’t started threading properly yet or even come up with a plot for our muses, I look forward to eventually threading with you in the New Year!

@detholmes @musesofthenight @sunshinexwritings @standfortheangels @angry-nobleman

And to all you beautiful people! (A.k.a. my followers!):

And you know what, I can’t end this post without giving another general thank you to all (39) of my followers! I know there aren’t many of you, but I’m grateful to you all, and just want you all to know that I am very much open to chatting with you, getting to know you and loving on you all! You’re all so wonderful for allowing my little dumbass self exist on your dashboards.

I hope you all have an absolutely wonderful New Year, and I look forward to continuing to chat with you guys and thread with you guys in the new decade! Love you all!

~AJ out *dabs*

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phantomphangphucker · 5 years

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Ectober Week Day 4: Artifact - Realities Little Joke For Infinity

A semi-vanquished ally is here for the end game, but way more confusing and completely unable to be taken seriously.

Strange looks to Wong, “is that everyone?”. Who squints back at him, sounding a bit incredulous, “what, you wanted more?”.

AntMan punches down a ship, the small slowly forming portal behind everyone going largely unnoticed. Before massive missiles start slamming into the ground and a little ugly brown van blows up.

Captain Marvel faces Thanos with a harsh desperate glare. Grabbing his hand and struggling to hold it, to stop him from snapping his fingers. Hearing Strange gasp, slightly started, and both her and Tony turn their heads slightly to look. Blinking, firmly confused, they didn’t have anyone who made green portals did they? As a kid? Teen? Just hops through, smirking slightly and sitting down on the rim of the portal. Followed by a blast knocking Thanos back and one of the stones flying away. The kid swings his legs, carefree, “yes he wanted more”. Then the kids blue-eyes look around at everyone, before he hops to the ground and starts walking forwards, swinging his legs wide and silly as he waves slightly, “what’s up? Was told some crazy shit was going down and, this is a quote by the way, ‘lose the stars to gain the stars. In a clashing of gold fists against one who consumes life’. So, uh, care to explain?”.

Captain Marvel gestures with her hands at the fighting going on. Thanos punching Thor as they clamour over the drooped stone, makes for pretty good added emphasis. The black haired kid tilts his head slightly, hums, and nods, “okay yeah, giant fight and giant purple asshole seems rather self explanatory”.

Hawkeye shots arrows at one of Thanos’s goons as it charges at the damn kid, what the Hell is he even doing here? Blinking a bit in disbelief as the kid just sidesteps a goon and then kicks it in the head, sending it flying. Hearing the kid snicker, “well that was easy”, before siding over to Tony.

Tony glances between the fight and the kid repeatedly, blasting at a goon while trying to figure out what’s going on. He’s all for more help, pretty actively desperate for it actually, but how old is this kid? He doesn’t even look all that bothered by what’s going on. Screwing up his face as the kid just hops around a little, “battle suit, nice. Looks for all the after-world better than Skulker’s. I’m Phantom by the way, from the future. Here to fix your shit, cause apparently you need it”.

Tony squints at him as he blasts away another goon, “how old are you? Better yet, who the Hell sends a random unarmed kid to a battlefield?”. At least Peter had his damn suit. This ‘Phantom’ looks like he just got out of school. But hey, the name implies he’s probably a hero of some kind.

Phantom smiles toothily, “oh that’s easy. Sixteen and some sixty billion year old dead guy did. So what’s going on here? Obviously these army beasts are problem pests, like skeletons, and purple nasty is, well, nasty”.

“Kid, this is the middle of battle. Not really the time for chit-chat and debriefing”, while sending Strange a ‘what the Hell look, will this work out?’.

Phantom laughs and uppercuts a spaceship with a massive mouth, it exploding apart, “naw! Fighting's the best time to open your yap. I mean Zone, talking while getting or giving an ass kicking is basically my shtick!”. Danny kicks another goon, “back in blacks get ready for a heart attack because my dead-ass is here”.

Making Tony shake his head, obviously this kid was extremely strong, “Christ kid. Purple guy’s Thanos. Removed half the life in the universe, trying to stop that. Used the thing on his arm to do it. Infinity Gauntlet, super powerful but needs some stones, just snapped his fingers and we all lost someone we goddamn loved. Now he just wants to destroy everyone, so don’t goddamn waste my time kid. If you’re gonna help then help”.

Phantom chuckles, “tsk tsk tsk, touchy are we?”, tapping his chin dramatically, “though yeah, that’s pretty fucking bad. Gonna take a gander and say this shit can be undone and stopped?”.

Tony groans calling Strange over and pointing at the kid, “is he useful?”. While a few other magicians take over dealing with the massive waterfall.

Phantom just tilts his head as Strange looks him over, before Strange furrows his brows, “I can’t see him in any timeline”.

Tony blinks, “what?”, being distracted enough to get slammed in the side by a rock.

While Phantom waves Strange off, “expected, cape boy”, lifting up the gear shaped necklace he’s wearing, “‘tis a Time Medallion. Basically excludes me from time. Technically this past isn’t my timelines past, so if I take this off I’ll be transported back to my own timeline. But I’m here to make this past my timelines past! So hooray! Complicated time shit to stop the world from ending”, back handing another goon and putting that hand on his hip, “so how’s we gonna stop this crap?”.

Strange sighs, ‘complicated time shit’ was one of the banes of his life. “That makes you an unknown to me but fine. Wearing the gauntlet allows the wearer to have one wish, regardless of what it is, granted. At the expense of losing one of the things they care for most or self-sacrifice. But the person must also be able to bear the power of it, though this power could be shared”.

Tony grunts as he flies by, “which is our plan! Now stop being a distraction!”.

Phantom tilts his head and laughs, “well that explains that! So basically this guy’s a strong SOB and doing some reality bending shit with a hunk of arm metal. But he’s doing it like a dick, probably over some weird philosophy”, Phantom slides to the side, avoiding a goon, “don’t worry your pretty little heads. Imma be an ironic copycat and I always did need to lose the one thing I cared for most”.

“Kid, we need help fighting right now, not for the later hand joining circle! Help stop people from dying and let the grown ups handle Thanos!”.

Phantom swings off his back pack and shoves his hand in it, “oh you misunderstand”. Standing up with a massive shit-eating grin, something looking concerningly similar to the Infinity Gauntlet on his arm.

Strange eyes this kid, obviously that wasn’t actually the same gauntlet, other wise paradoxes. Just so many paradoxes. Not even having to ask as the kid speaks cheerily, “this is the Reality Gauntlet. If you know how to activate all the stones, it grants you control over all of reality. Everything really. No limits. No down falls. Purple grape ‘bout to be my bitch”.

Multiple people around cough or choke. There was something even more dangerous and powerful? And some random kid had it?

Watching as the kid waves erratically, with a goofy smile, at Thanos. Who glares with at first anger then deep confusion. Grumbling out, “though I’m unfamiliar, that is nothing but a cheep imitation. Nothing surpasses my grand design and purpose”.

Phantom snorts and laughs exaggeratedly. Flicking his wrist, which somehow seems to result in a bunch of the goons turning into ducks and piles of worms? Twitching his hand again, the trees and rocks seemingly coming to life and chasing after the ducks.

Everyone stops and stares around for a beat, highly confused. Antman muttering, “well what the fuck”.

Tony blinks at this random kid, “thanks?”.

Thanos glares, punching away Captain America and grabbing the stone off the ground. Before charging at Phantom, not about to be seriously harmed by another small creature he doesn’t even know, who laughs and flips in the air. Most watching as Phantom just starts floating before transforming into a glowing black and white kid. Thanos grumbling, “you are a mortal yet dead. Interesting but no matter. I will crush you all the same”.

Phantom laughs and it echoes. Flicking his wrist again, followed by spaceships turning into hundreds of bouncy balls. Phantom flipping in the air slightly, “halfas the word!”, turning his legs into a freaking tail and simply flying out of the way of the titans punch, blasting a green energy ball out his hand as he goes; stopping Thanos from attempting to snap, “so you’re Thanos. You honestly don’t seem all that good at this. I mean nice army and all. But hey, I guess I’m just used to stronger opponents”. Phantom kicks away a random goon, “but props for all the dramatics!”.

Thanos grumbling, “you are foolish to think you can stand against or face things above me. For nothing exists above me”.

Phantom laughs again, “oh I’m something far above you. For you see, I am Phantom. Future guardian of the land of the dead and Earth. Long after all of these fucks, and you, have perished. Even the king of ghosts has fallen to me. If you really want to speak about the most powerful being in the universe. Well then”, giggling, “it’s a sixteen year-old half dead kid and you’re a just a grape”.

Phantom waves his hand and suddenly Thanos turns into a bunch of grapes and falls onto the ground unceremoniously. Infinity gauntlet clattering down next to it.

Tony blinks, “you...you have got to be kidding me”.

Phantom shrugs and sticks out his tongue at the pile of grapes, picking up the Infinity Gauntlet and putting it on. Looking his arm over with a little smirk, watching the power flow through it with mild amusement, everyone else too stunned to move. Phantom chuckles and holds out his two gauntlet covered arms, “too bad they don’t truly match. But hey, this aesthetic is still fucking sick”.

Tony walks up in front of the kid slightly, “do you even know what you’re doing? How powerful that thing is?”.

Phantom hums and spins in the air, “Of course I don’t. I never know what half the crap I do is. That’s the fun of it”, floating upside down and cross legged, “I realise you all seem to take this hero shtick pretty seriously and with heavy hearts. I may be a battered one whose lost plenty myself, and seen worlds destroy and life fall to perish. But I’ll never be weathered and beaten down. Imma a little shit basically”, looking around, “anyway, any o’ y’all know how to fix all the shit? Or should I just start trying random shit or hitting it. That usually works out for me”.

Strange steps up, “are you intending on using the gauntlet alone?”, sighing, this was suitably strange but if it works then it works, “you simply have to push your will into and snap your fingers”.

Captain America frowns, “are you sure you’re willing to give up something dear to you? This is our fight”.

Phantom smiles and for once it seemed more soft and serious even, “oh of course. I figured out that riddle. See for me to exist I must partly die. Lose half my life and the one thing I held most dear. My desire to become an astronaut and see the stars. Sacrificed in the name of fulfilling the role of a hero in a world were no others exist. Damned to exits forever more and ensure protection of everything and one. Yet unable to ever fulfil my one deepest dream and wish”.

Tony blinks, firmly stunned, that was incredibly depressing. But Phantom seemed to be implying that he had to use the gauntlet himself. And that he knows exactly what he’ll lose, that it’ll half kill him, and the fate it’ll force upon him. That was a lot of sacrifices.

Everyone gets stunned again when Phantom laughs, “it’s a blessed half-life indeed! Gaining the best thing by losing the best thing. What beautiful irony”, sighing happily, “ahhh life just loves playing jokes on me. Nothing like a good joke at my expense”. Watching as the kid simply holds up the glove, waits for a beat and snaps his fingers. The people around gaping over the complete nonchalance and watching the mess clean itself up. The people they care about returning in earnest and others appearing in flashes before going back to where they had been before all this. Orange portals slowly closing in the background.

Tony tears up ever so slightly and hugs Peter, whispering, “kid”. While Peter nods rapidly and squeezes back.

Phantom sighs, “ahhh I can just feel and see myself getting 6 billion electrical volts to my whole being now. Sweet sweet tingly nostalgia”.

Antman squints at him, “you have issues”.

Tony walks up closer with Peter, a smiling Phantom floating to land on the ground; hair swaying around untethered to gravity. Tony clears his throat, “thank you. I mean it”.

While Peter awkwardly waves, “hi, um, I’m Peter”, smiling slightly, “nice to see a teen owning the old folks huh?”.

Phantom gives Peter a silly thumbs up before laughing and waving off Tony, “‘tis what I do tincan. Self sacrifice for the betterment of everyone else, is what I see and know day in and day out”, bowing dramatically, “I’m in the sheets with broken bones, bloodied wounds, and never enough sleep”, standing back up straight, “but you know what you could do for little o’ me? A smoothie. I could really use a smoothie. One of those ones with all the little crushed berries. The good shit. Then I can head back to school”.

Half the people asking, “your in school?”. While Tony nods, he really had just came from school...like this was some sort of everyday thing, “whatever you want kid”.

Phantom waves everyone but Tony off, “course. No one actually knows I do what I do, so I’m treated the same as any other teen. The whole secret identity shtick”, shrugging and speaking thick with humour, “but hey, if the world knew they’d experiment on me so I think I’ll take my parents shooting at me instead. Dissection is honestly not that glamorous. Kind of boring after the third time”.

Tony breathes out, “Christ that’s messed up”.

While Strange disappears and reappears with a smoothie, extra large, and shoves it at Phantom. Feeling both humbled and disturbed. Especially being the most familiar with what exactly would go on in any kind of dissection.

Phantom nabs it looking eager and innocent. Like getting a nice drink was the biggest worry he had. Everyone watches him sip it and smile happily. Sighing with contentment, “ah yeeeeeeessssss that’s nice. Been a few days since I’ve had the time to drink or eat anything”, before looking at the Infinity Gauntlet and it promptly exploding into dust. Smirking, “there, problem solved. TimeDaddy will be tickled green”.

Everyone just gapes as he spins around in a little circle, looking cheery and waving at everyone, “whelp been nice and I’ll be taking the drink with me”.

Tony puts his hand on Phantom‘s arm as he grabs the medallion and starts the motions to remove it, “are you sure there’s nothing more you can use or need? You seem like you need it honestly”.

Phantom shrugs, “naw, I’m good. I’m a plenty suffered thing. Which is good”, smiling bright and wide, “so long as I’m suffering then others suffer less”. And like that the medallion is slipped off and the glowing teen is gone.

Everyone standing around feeling awe, shock, respect, and a sense of grief. Happy to have everyone back properly but unable to get the strange oddly mirth-filled Phantom, one who seems to live an existence that’s basically torture, out of their heads.

End.

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descendantofthesparrow · 5 years

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Part of Your World- Harry Hook x Reader – part 8

a rewrite of @bluediamondsevie x reader that they wrote for me

summary: a who doesn’t love the Disney World, well, (y/n) especially loves descendants, and one day, as she dances in her kitchen getting ready to head out. 17-year-old (y/n) becomes part of that world, now a certain blue-eyed pirate meets the girl from a world where he is a fictional character and he has an actor named Thomas Doherty.

Key:

h/c- hair color

e/c- eye color

h/l- hair length

s/c- skin color

y/n- your name

your stuff

----

You awoke to harry curled up next to you, face buried in your shoulder, arms around your waist, and legs tangled. You pulled slightly back and mentally made a ‘daww’ sound, Harry was so cute asleep!!! From his messy bed head to his curled up shoulders.

You smiled and untangled yourself from him and grabbed your clothes and rushed into the bathroom, fifteen minutes later you emerged fresh-faced and fully geared.

You walked to the door, but glanced back at Harrys sleeping face, biting your lip you walked back to the bed and shyly kissed his forehead. Blushing furiously you rushed out the room, not seeing Harry flop onto his back, face crimson and hands covering his face. He groaned out in frustration.

“I am’ so doomed”

You walked into the chip shop and deposited your sword into the check and made your way to the long table, walking around sitting in between gil and Desiree, Uma came out from the back and tossed a tray in front of you. You immediately devouring it, you were starving after the events of yesterday.

“(y/n)” Uma called you, you hummed and held up a finger, telling her to wait a moment. You swallowed your fish sticks and looked over at her.

“yeah, Uma?”

“I need you to go on Harry's pay route, I always have one of the other crew members go when…you know what happens”

“kay, I’ll be back soon”

You stuffed the rest of the fries in your mouth and retrieved your sword setting on Harrys Wednesday pay route. As you enter the market place, you noticed all the isle people staring at you with worry, fear, and awe. And every step you took, people jumped out of your way, not wanting for you to chop off their limbs, raising an eyebrow you looked around, all the adults, they were afraid of you!

You twisted around and saw gonzo making a deal with a market dealer, trying to get the fresher apples, you strutted over to him and the dealer paled and pushed the apples into gonzos arms, hurriedly backing away and looking at his apples.

You and gonzo glanced and each other and shrugged. Both of you walked down the alleys, you stopping to grab money for the route. As you saw more and more people staring at you in fear, you asked gonzo a question.

“yo Gonzo, why is everyone looking at me like that?” he chuckled and tossed you an apple, you caught it and bit into it, the chip shops food not doing enough to fill your stomach.

“Captain Hooks cabin boy just spread the word that the (h/c) girl with a crimson jacket in Uma’s crew dismembered his captain, as you are the newest member, people have assumed and you’re officially the most badass girl on the Isle.”

“why would they say that?”

“girl, you took down captain hook, one of the most feared villains on the Isle, you deserve that title” you made an ‘oh’ sound and nodded, continuing the pay route with Gonzo trailing behind you.

“though people are saying you should take Uma’s place” you made a face at the suggestion, you would never do that, you respected Uma to much to take her place, besides she was much scarier than you were.

“uh, no. not happening, Uma is way more suited for leadership, also! She's a fucking sea demigoddess! I not going to try to challenge her, shed fucking kick my ass!”

“pfft, good point! Haha! …wait Uma’s a demigod?!”

You stopped in your tracks, staring at gonzo as if he grew two heads, but he kept staring at you with a confused face, you realized that even Uma probably didn’t know she was the granddaughter of position.

“By Odin's beard, yall know nothing!” you threw your hands in the air and walked away, gonzo cackling all the while,

“by Odin's beard? When did you start saying that?”

“shut up it’s a thing I picked up from Harry! He's Scottish remember”

Gonzo snickered and waved you off, heading in the other direction. You pouted and looked around, you made it to the last destination on your route, curl up and dye.

You smiled, today was Dizzy’s shift, well at least her hairstyle shifts, this was gonna be easy.

“Hey, Dizzy!” you smiled at the hyper 13-year-old, she squealed at the sight of you and almost knocked you over with her tackle hug

“hi (y/n)! did you come for a haircut?!”

“Sorry sweetie, but something happened and I have to do Harry's route, you know the drill.”

“ *sigh* I know, but at least your nicer about it, Harrys…mean” you giggle with the girl, yeah that’s Harry to a T, at least to most people.

“he can be”

Dizzy fished out the money from the cash register and handed it over to you, you took about 70% of it and handed the rest back to dizzy, she giggled and placed it back in the cash register.

“you wanna know something?”

“Ohh gossip, do tell”

“Harry always stares at you when you're not looking! I think he has a crush on you~!” your face flushed pink, Harry? Having a crush on you? Not possible.

“im having a hard time believing that diz”

“whatever you say~ he loves you~!”

“keep telling your self that, I gotta go, stay safe!” you ruffled the girl's hair and turned to exit the salon, hearing dizzy’s teasing behind you

“Harry and (y/n) sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-“

Her voice faded into background noise, you sighed sadly, you wished Harry was crushing on you, but…he liked Uma, a demigod, daughter of Ursula, he would rather her over you, a human girl, daughter of (mother/father) and (mother/father), just a boring human girl with no exiting back story.

‘if only Dizzy, if only’

---

You re-entered the chip shop, heading over to Uma and giving her the money, she nodded and pocketed it.

“nice job (y/n), did you enjoy your walk around?” you shrugged and scratched the back of your head.

“I guess, people literally jumped out of my way when I was doing the route”

“well consider-“

“I know I know, I amputated captain hook limbs, it makes sense why’d they do that” you and Uma laughed for a moment, before moving into a comfortable silence.

“(y/n)?” you hummed and softly smiled at her, she smiled back.

“thank you, I think people are going to be leaving both Harry and my crew alone from now on” you ginned and tugged on her arm, surprising her with a tight hug, she was stiff for a moment before melting into your warm and safe embrace.

“it was my honor Cap’n”

---

You and Harry sat in the shared room, you sitting on the bed, Harry in the hammock, Harry glanced at you every few seconds, trying to gather courage.

“lass?” you hummed and looked up at him, he was twidling his fingers in nervousness.

“yeah harry?”

“could- could I sleep in the bed with ye again? I don’t feel…” you mentally cursed Hook and gave a reassuring smile to harry

“I know, and sure, I don’t mind” Harry grinned at you, and you both sat in silence for about 30 mins, and you walked into the bathroom to change, but when you came out, you saw scars rippling across Harrys back, your breath hitched, Harry turned to you, fear and shame forming on his face. He back away from you.

“(y/n)! yer weren’t supposed to see-“ you rushed forward and crashed into Harry's chest, burning hot tears streaming down your face

“what are ye-“ you hugged him tight and spoke in a broken voice

“I will never let this happen again, to you or anybody else” your voice cracked with emotion, making Harry realize something, his own tears came, and you both sunk to the floor and sat in eachothers embrace

“…thank ye (y/n)”

‘fuck I’m definitely in love’

--end of part 8--

Comment or message me for part 9

taglist:

@namelesslosers

and imma tag @crazybutconfidentaf because you seem to love the fic :p

#Descendents #descendants #disney descendants #harryhook #harry hook #harry hook x reader #harry hook imagine #harry hook descendants #uma daughter of ursula #dizzy tremaine

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artificialqueens · 5 years

Text

don't make me wait another day, chapter 3: good as hell (kamasia) - holtzmanns, writworm42

A/N: Last chapter, Kameron and Asia continued their flirtation over text and agreed to have another session. This chapter, Kameron prepares for their second session before being Very Distracted in it. Thank you Bean for beta-ing, we love you!!!

Title from Good as Hell by Lizzo

The week creeps by far too slowly for Kameron’s liking. It doesn’t matter how many clients she sees, how many hours she clocks, how many appointments or errands or other things she fills her personal time with. By Monday, everything starts to meld together, a blob of meaningless, tedious chores.

Well. A blob of meaningless, tedious chores, except for one small detail.

On Thursday, at 3 p.m. on the dot, she’s going to see Asia again.

“That’s all very romantic,” Kameron’s coworker, A’keria, interrupts her story with a roll of her eyes, “but if you tell me how sick you are of waiting for Thursday one more time, imma have to go drown myself in the pool.”

“Oh, leave her alone, Kiki!” Another of Kameron’s friends, Vanessa, pipes up from her place at the front desk. “You just bitter ‘cause you ain’t got no man.”

“Please, bitch, you ain’t any better than miss Kam over here. Where’s Brooke Lynn, anyway, you finally separated her from your clingy ass?” A’keria grunts, glaring daggers at Vanessa as the other woman blushes deeply.

“She’s cleaning the pool,” Vanessa grumbles under her breath.

“Excellent, so she drownin’ herself already, too.”

“You’re both the worst.” Kameron grumps before a gym member comes by to ask Vanessa a question, breaking up their conversation. It’s not that she doesn’t think she’s being annoying–she knows she is, she’d probably be fed up too if she had to listen to herself. But at the same time, she can’t help it.

Asia O’Hara, the gorgeous woman with the white teeth and the amazing sense of humour, is going to be spending time with her again in less than a week. In just a few days, she’s going to be spending a whole hour with her.

A lot can happen in an hour.

Her phone buzzes beside her, interrupting her thoughts. Before she can grab it, though, a long, pale hand swipes it up for her.

“Oooh, Asia again?” Brooke grins, waggling her eyebrows over the top of Kameron’s phone. “You guys text a lot for girls who’ve just met.”

“Give me my phone back.” Kameron snatches it away from her hands, furiously keying in her password as Brooke snickers fucking lesbians under her breath. “And go fist Vanessa while you’re at it.”

She looks up her phone just in time to see Brooke thrust her fist in the air as she walks away.

A: Say, I was thinking…

K: Yeah, I do that a lot too

Kameron smiles to herself as she sends that text off, hoping that as cheesy as it is, it’ll make Asia laugh.

A: BITCH

Mission accomplished. Before she can enjoy the moment though, three dots pop up on the screen, and her heart stops for a moment.

A: Seriously. I was thinking

A: I probs need new workout gear. I don’t have much.

A: Just a sports bra and some shorts maybe

A: I want something with good support tho.

Kameron’s throat goes dry, all thoughts in her mind suddenly scattered like ping pong balls. Asia’s flirting with her. This is a clear, blatant display of trying to turn Kameron on, trying to get her to imagine Asia in tight spandex shorts and a sports bra that puts just a little cleavage on display. Isn’t it?

Kameron is Asia’s personal trainer, and she’s texted Kameron for advice on things like how to do a particular home exercise in the past. Maybe she only wants a recommendation of where to buy new clothes, that’s a possibility too, and there could be no flirtation at all-

“Bitch, she’s flirting with you.” Vanessa’s scratchy voice over her shoulder makes Kameron jump. She’s about to chew Vanessa out for reading her screen when another text comes through, and Vanessa smiles wickedly as they both turn to look at what it says.

A: How d’you feel about something like this?

The attached picture nearly makes Kameron’s mouth go dry. It’s a mirror shot, Asia twisted slightly to the side. Maroon leggings hug Asia’s ass perfectly, and she really doesn’t even need to do the crap ton of squats that Kameron always forces on her clients.

Asia has one of those body types that’s naturally muscular, naturally defined, the kind that usually makes Kameron grumble out of jealousy because she has to actually work for her own. Asia, though, with the slight indentation of abs that peek out above her high waisted shorts, makes Kameron feel more lightheaded than anything else. Asia’s matching bra crisscrosses over her shoulder blades, tracing around the muscles of her back and framing her breasts in a way that makes Kameron dizzy, her eyes moving frantically to pick a spot to focus on first ( how is she supposed to pick a spot to focus on first?).

And if there’s any doubt that Asia knows exactly what she’s doing, another text follows up, one that’s almost mocking in its blatancy.

A: So you think these will have enough support?

Kameron lets out a laugh in disbelief, because Asia’s really trying to kill her, she is, and having a grand old time while doing so.

Though two can play at this game.

K: Mm, tough to say. We’ll have to test that out together, won’t we?

There’s no response for a moment, enough time for Kameron to come dangerously close to spiralling, wondering if she’s said too much, too soon.

“Still texting her?” Brooke taps her fingers on the other side of the counter and Kameron jumps, nearly dropping her phone in the process.

“Nope! Nope. Why do you guys care so much, anyway?” So what if she’s texting Asia? Especially if she hasn’t replied. Why hasn’t she replied yet-

Bzz.

“Bitch, look at this!” Kameron is pulled back sharply as Vanessa materializes behind her, grabbing onto her shoulder for support as she cranes up on her tiptoes to peek at the text message that pops up on her screen.

A: can’t wait to see how you like them in action ;)

“Damn, I know you’re lesbians, but y’all move fast!” Vanessa’s voice is gleeful as she dances around to the other side of the counter, leaning against Brooke’s side and beaming when she wraps an arm around her.

“Your girlfriend is literally beside you right now.” Kameron points between the two of them.

Vanessa flips her ponytail over her shoulder. “And?”

Kameron rolls her eyes, turning away from the others with an exasperated sigh. “I don’t have to be here, I got a session to get to.”

“At two-thirty? Huh, A’keria, did you know we were doin’ sessions on the half-hour now?”

“Hm, you know, that’s funny, ‘cause I’m lookin’ at the schedule right now, and Kam doesn’t even have anything until four…”

“Prep time!” Kameron fires back over her shoulder and flips the others off as she hurries away, but she’s unable to keep the smile off her face as she goes.

____

Kameron spends a bit longer than necessary choosing her outfit on Thursday morning. Sure, the muscle tee she goes for shows off her arms, though she’s most definitely not wearing it for a specific reason, nor is she wearing the spandex shorts to get a certain someone’s attention.

Most definitely not.

Lo and behold, Asia is wearing the sports bra and leggings from the picture that she had sent earlier in the week, the one that feels like it’s branded onto Kameron’s eyelids because she can’t stop thinking about it. Kameron can feel herself swallow hard while she tries to keep her eyes up, waving at Asia as she walks in and drops her duffle bag on the counter.

“Hey, Kam.” Asia’s voice is sugary sweet and the toss of her ponytail over her shoulder would almost make Kameron laugh, if it wasn’t fucking hot at the same time.

“Hey.” Kameron can’t help the slight curve of her lip. She’s been looking forward to this hour more than she wants to admit. “Ready for me to kick your ass in the gym again?”

“ Bitch, first of all, I’m fit as hell-”

“That you are.”

“-and - wait, hey .” Asia pokes Kameron’s side. “Second of all, you really should kick my ass outside of the gym. I mean, what?”

Asia spins on her heels and walks to drop her duffle bag in the change room before Kameron even processes what she says, her mouth dropping open when she sees the way that Asia winks at her before disappearing behind the door.

Kameron wants to take it back. She’s not ready for the mini heart attack that Asia will mostly likely be responsible for causing.

Asia returns and Kameron rolls out her shoulders, gathering her thoughts because she is at work, and Asia is her client, and she can’t exactly do anything stupid while on the clock, no matter how much she wants to. And no matter how much Asia is hinting that she wants the same.

That can wait. Kameron’s patient.

Kameron tries to keep her cool as Asia starts her warm up, running through the exercises that she’s going to take Asia through in her head. They’re things that she’s done a million times with clients, but with Asia, it feels different - Kameron really wants to impress her, get her to come back. Catch her interest.

Asia wipes the sweat from her brow as she rises from her last burpee, panting. “I will never, ever forgive you for making me do these. Never. It’s been two minutes and my legs are already jelly.”

Kameron passes Asia her water bottle, her eyes trailing along the curve of Asia’s jawline as she grabs a drink. “That was only our first exercise.”

Asia groans. “Remind me why I come to your sadistic ass for personal training again?”

“A part of you enjoys it, I can tell.” Kameron grins. It’s unfair, really, that Asia still looks good after breaking a sweat.

“Pfft.” Asia grumbles underneath her breath as she tucks a stray later behind her ear. “As if.”

“Admit it, you do.”

“Make me.” Asia grins at her with a wicked gleam in her eyes, her tongue peeking between her lips which is distracting enough to make Kameron’s eyes flit downwards.

“Okay.” Kameron smirks, noticing Asia’s slight raise of her eyebrows. “Let’s do five more burpee reps then. C’mon.”

“Bitch.”

Kameron’s proud of herself, really, for staying professional throughout their warmup and the beginning of when Asia begins lifting. At least, until she has to spot Asia.

Her fingertips ghost along Asia’s bare sides, along the small strip of midriff showing between her sports bra and the top of her leggings. Kameron can see the goosebumps rising along Asia’s skin as she shifts her hands to support her back. It’s a contrast from the way that they’re sweating underneath the almost suffocating heat of the gym, the stuffiness not quite overbearing enough to keep Kameron from feeling a shiver run through her system.

“Next one, I’m going to have you squat while holding the bar above your head.” Kameron lifts the bar, handing it to Asia who grunts.

“No extra weights on it?” Asia lifts the bar up above her head, arms beginning to tremble, and Kameron snorts as she lifts her own hands up to the bar to stabilize Asia’s grip.

“Gotta start with just the bar first. It weighs fifteen pounds on its own.” Kameron brings her hands down slowly as Asia’s grip on the bar becomes stronger.

“Fifteen? Damn, I don’t want anymore weights on top of this.”

“Now squat with it.” Kameron has to hold in a laugh when Asia makes a face of disbelief.

“Bend my legs? While holding this shit? I’m not going to be able to get back up.” Asia huffs, her grip tightening on the bar.

“Just try. If you get stuck, I’ll help you get back up.” Kameron can’t help herself, really, from the wink that she sends in Asia’s direction. Especially because it makes Asia blush, before she lets out a scoff.

“You will, huh?”

“I’m very supportive.”

“Yeah, I bet you are.”

Kameron’s not sure if she’s imagining the way that Asia’s glance flits from her eyes down to her lips, then back up, the way that her tongue peeks out from between her lips. She distracts herself from the fact that all she wants to do is lean in, kiss Asia, maybe bite on her lower lip and see if it makes her moan because-

She’s still at work.

So she takes a step back, coming to stand behind Asia before she starts her reps. Her hands hover near the bar without quite touching, should Asia need the support. Asia’s warm in front of her, the beads of sweat dripping down the back of her neck showing the effort that she’s putting in to keep bar up, along with her shaky hands.

By the time the session is over, Kameron’s absolutely twitching. It doesn’t help, really, when they finish and high five and Asia takes the opportunity to lean on Kameron, an elbow on her shoulder. Asia’s wiping the sweat from her brow, the muscles of her taut stomach lightly shifting as she breathes, and somehow it’s fucking hot. Kameron’s parched, and it’s not for water.

“So, do I get a reward or something for surviving that session?” Asia tilts her head as she looks over, the gleam in her eyes making Kameron’s mind travel a million miles an hour.

“Depends on what what you want.” Kameron doesn’t miss a beat, doesn’t hide the way that she slowly drags her eyes from Asia’s face down her frame, knowing that Asia’s watching.

“You should come and find out.” Asia lifts her elbow from Kameron’s shoulder, turning on her heels to flounce towards the changing rooms, the very ones where Kameron knows there are rows and rows of showers.

The wink that Asia throws at her before letting the door swing closed behind her is enough to get her to follow, after dropping her clipboard behind the front desk without a second thought.

Good thing Asia’s her last client for the day.

#rpdr fanfiction #kameron michaels #asia o'hara #vanessa vanjie mateo #brooke lynn hytes #akeria davenport #asia x kameron #lesbian au #fluff #dont make me wait another day #holtzmanns #writworm42

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letstalksymphogear · 5 years

Text

Symphogear, EP.7 (Cont.)

“i have not now, nor ever, liked this creepy ass church elevator.”

“kanade please get out of my head, just because im hungry doesnt mean you have to tell me every time i am”

Hibiki finishes getting a full body X-ray. She’s fine.

“that anime protagonist immunity is really kicking in well!”

“by the way, your wife is here! and she’s looking mighty miffed., as opposed to me, mighty milfed.”

“you dont strike me as a mother figure but ill play along for now”

“i just hope miku’s okay...”

“oh, she’ll be fine! see, i’ve seen these kinds of plots before. big secret revealed, another lover is shown, the victim watches as they’re thoroughly cheated on, and they get to lik-”

“please stop breathing”

Genjuro’s wasting away again in Margaritaville. Looking for some daughter to adopt. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THERE’S A, WOOOOMAAAAAN TO BLAAAAAAAAAAME, BUT HE KNOWS

XYLOPHONE RIFF

THAT’S IT’S ALL HIS FAULT

XYLOPHONE RIFF

“i hate it when he gets like this. jimmy buffets not a good look for him.”

“for once you and i agree. seeing the commander sulk like this like a middle aged perma-tourist is genuinely miserable”

“hey homies! im back and i brought some bitches! oh, jesus, why does this place smell like mistakes in miami?”

“its me. im sorry. every time i feel like i failed as a dad, my anti-dad energies manifest. imagine every midlife crisis rolled up into a single ball, smacked into the face for eternity. thats the depth of my pain for failing this girl.”

In a moment of positivity, the friendship between Tsubasa and Hibiki is cemented.

> Tsubasa has joined the party.

“FRIENDSHIP!”

“fweindship.”

“uuuuhhhhh... dadship? yeah thats close enough.”

“WE’RE ALL GOOD FRIENDS!”

“ya tiddies are ringing again, better go get it”

Ryoko also points out that Hibiki’s relic is fusing with herself at an alarming rate. This is important to keep in mind.

Meanwhile, at night.

Miku is posing in the motherly “you done fucked up, where have you been young lady” position. A cold scolding is coming.

“.........................hey miku......”

“you can come in. are you worried im gonna bite? you suplexed a car. that shouldn’t be an issue anymore.”

“miku, i.... i wanted to tell you.... but.... the plot wouldn’t let me, miku....”

“should’ve told the plot to fuck off anyway. now you’re gonna live with that. you’re sleeping... on the bottom bunk.”

“b.... b..... b...... b.... b...... bottom bunk...?”

They slept separately that night. God, this is so stupid. All of this is so goddamned stupid. “I’m so mad at you even though you saved my life.” This is just so. AUGH. THIS IS DUMB. KANEKO WRITE BETTER ANGST THAT MAKES SENSE THAT ISN’T THIS.

Meanwhile, far away from this garbage...

Chris, having been evicted from Fine’s McMansion, wanders the streets of mumblemumble aimlessly. Don’t be fooled by her new fancy dress. Basically, she’s a combat-competent hobo.

“no food. no home. no victories. this sucks. whyd you do it, fine? we coulda been great together. but no. ya fired me. now i look like im prancing the red light district with a highly advanced superweapon around my neck.”

“no... hibiki’s to blame. ever since that genderbent little mac showed up to fight me, it’s been all downhill. fine thought me a laughstock because i couldnt take out her oversized boxing gloves, and now she beat me while i had nehushtan. god... i wish i never met that damn hamster faced chubby cheeked nerd.”

“wait, whats that crying”

Chris spies two kids talking to each other, one of them crying. Chris immediately makes an assumption, believing the big bro is bullying his sis.

“hey! stop nicking her lunch money, twerp”

Chris currently is a firm believer of corporeal punishment.

But the sister deflects the blow. Chris can’t even defeat children right now. Truly, this is a record low for her. You know you blew it when even kids are schooling you on basic morality. She then tells the little girl to stop crying, ironically mirroring her brother.

The infamous double T-Pose maneuver. Chris, you might as well get a shovel and start digging your own grave.

“i keep doing bad things badly, and now im doing good things badly... when fine said i was bad... did she just mean im not talented?”

Chris, finally, does a good thing and helps these kids find their parents.

“yeah. hibiki saved a kid when she got her gear. guess what? bam! im saving two! that’s fifty percent more kid per kid saved. take that, weirdo.”

The kids call her out on Chris singing unconsciously, and Chris gets flustered over it. Dawwwwww.

Chris manages to get them to safety to their Dad...

...while brutally lying about it, making Chris look like a predator. There’s a very crushing irony at play here, given who Chris used to serve.

“ugggggggggggggggghhhhhh hes not even gonna payyyyy meeeeeee why the fuck did i dooooo thiiiiiiissssss”

“hey, you know. you kids have a really nice relationship with one another. care to give me tips on how to be an empathetic human being capable of making friends?”

“maybe we’re born with it”

“maybe its maybeline”

“maybeline...”

Meanwhile...

A cold wind blows through Lydian Apartment 69-L. (I don’t actually know if that’s their room number, I just made it up.)

“jesus take the wheel, because i’m jumping out the passenger seat to save this current wreck of a relationship”

“miku please i saved your life, doesnt that count for anything”

“you already killed me the moment you lied. also im taking the bottom bunk so i dont have to see your face coming down the ladder.”

“miku you cant hide in this depression den forever. i know i hurt you and im sorry for it, but please understand i literally couldnt do it. you saw there were punches and violence and stuff... i didnt want you tied to that...”

“what was that? i cant hear your apologies over my incredibly loud snoring. SNOOOOOOORE. SNOOOOOOOORE. SNOOO- fuck, i just swallowed my spit, fuck”

“i hope this cocoon of displeasure you’ve made for yourself lets you erupt into a butterfly of acceptance so i can fly with you again.”

“......thats not fair. you cant say those beautiful metaphors and get away with it. let me be mad... sniff... let me be mad...”

Sadness wafts in the den of lies Hibiki has been forced into.

No music plays. There is only heartbreak, and woe.

In the midst of this pain...

Ryoko loredumps about how the Symphogears work and are immune to the noise on her blog, ‘hornyonmainforscience.org’, her hybrid science journal slash kink zone. It’s mostly a recap with some pretty good soft techno beats in it.

“i made a custom brew of red bull, five hour energy drink, coffee, and cream. i call it gamer girl piss.”

“damn. that’s some good piss.”

She muses about how Hibiki has managed to break the limitations of her Symphogear, making her a totally unique specimen. Wait, where have we heard this before...?

Hey... Ryoko... let’s just... cool it a bit with the Hibiki pictures... come on...

Ryoko touches upon the Custodians and the Curse of Babel. We ain’t touching that shit until later, because that’s another shitfuck box of crazy just ready to jump us in a dark alleyway to rob us of our wits.

Back to Lydian:

“miku whats the answer to the first three multiple choice questions”

“B. A. D.”

“oh, thanks. huh, BAD.”

“yeah. you are.”

“mmm. taste likes dissapointment. just like my life.”

“hey table for two haha get it cause there’s two chairs and miku for the love of god, please, forgive me”

“ive surgically removed my eyes and drew eyelashes over them with sharpie so i dont have to see your bird bangs.”

“thats very rude to both me and my hair. also, wig.”

Even Hibiki’s meal is judging her. Mainly for not eating it. Fucking look at this. God, that looks amazing. Fuck, why did I write this while I was hungry.

“miku you cant do this forever. i might die and youll end up crying on my tombstone going ‘oh god, why, oh god’, and really, i cant live with myself if that happens. mainly because id already be dead by then”

The Anime Janai crew show up to break some icebergs with a goddamn sledgehammer. As the self-aware Gods of this realm, they got very tired of this poor display of angst, and have decided to directly intervene.

Nevermind. They came for her kneecaps, and they most certainly got them.

PLEASE. I’M BEGGING YOU. END THIS GARBAGE PLOT THREAD.

“look. imma lay down the facts. yall are gay. yall are in love. yall are angry for the wrong reasons. its nobody’s fault here but the writer. so please kiss and make up. pretty please.”

“kaneko... you fool... we all know what the original sin is. its your hack writing making this stupidity in the first place. let the pencil go, asshole!”

They bring up the fact that Hibiki isn’t doing her work and wonder if she has a job on the side, which isn’t allowed by the school. Miku gets annoyed and bails, with Hibiki running after her. Unfortunately, Miku runs faster...

“oh god miku not the rooftop whatever you’re thinking just dont do it! please!”

“no. i came here to angst, since this is the Maximum Angst Zone.”

“i..... okay! okay, that’s fair! rooftops are the perfect place to look sad while getting proper air ventilation, thats fine”

It really would have been better played if it was played off that she felt hurt not because of the lie, but because she felt like she could have helped her better having known the truth, and it being a self-loathing sort of scenario for not being there better for her and not fully understanding the risk at play.

But no, instead, we get this.

youtube

Absolutely obliterated. A heart ripped, shredded, and sent to the Shadow Realm.

The episode ends on that note, but has a post credit scene.

Naked. On an old timey telephone. On a computer. Wearing stockings and long gloves.

The main antagonist of the series, everybody.

She’s talking the best English possible to some random-ass American when suddenly bursting through the scene is none other than:

“I WANT WORKERS COMPENSATION YOU BITCH, BEFORE I UNIONIZE YOUR NAKED ASS”

“AND I WANT A GOOD REFERNECE FOR MY FUTURE EMPLOYER, AND ALSO A SEVERANCE PACKAGE SINCE I’M FUCKING HOMELESS”

“i paint my eyelashes with mascara made from the tar of freshly carbonated corpses manufactured through noise, what on gods green earth compels you to think id give a rats ass about you?”

“so you never cared, huh! you’re just a nasty naked hedonist trying to- trying to- what the fuck are you even trying to do?!”

“i want to live the dream every spicy little fossil like me yearns for.”

“I WANNA FUCK GOD!”

“how- what? what? how do you even- what? are you- do you want to be the pope? is that it? does the pope get to fuck god? are you- is this a larping thing? you’ve really been into larping lately! i don’t like this!”

“youve never read the old testament, have you. ass out, pussy bare, hips up and barefoot. that’s how god’s always liked it.”

“now get lost, punk. you tipped off my hand to genjuro and now you being here is going to ruin everything. if you still feel any semblance of devotion, eat one of your own bullets and call it a day.”

“it’s 2012 bitch, if the mayans dont get you, I WILL”

“what god gives, He takes away, and so do i. i built you from the ground up. your relic, which was good for jack shit on you. the nehushtan, which you failed to do anything with except zap a couple hundred people. stop wars? you’re a walking war, waged by me, for me. and your cartridge has just run out of bullets.”

“uh oh! hand’s acting up again! better bail before i send you back to smacktown where all the bitter little shittalkers like you strut around spending their lives being useless as hell.”

“ah fuck, im not dealing with no manos: the hands of fate bullshit again”

“and guess what else i got on motherfucker”

“i see the union efforts have officially been busted. understandable, have a nice day ma’am”

“LEAVE.”

“I’M GOING, I’M GOING”

#symphogear #symphogear season 1 #anime #recap #comedy

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fictionerd · 5 years

Text

Good to see you, Friends!

I bring to you the tale of how one doctor, a specialist in prosthesis, went about crafting a weapon. A weapon to surpass DEMON GEAR!

Synopsis: In large part this is the story of Jukai’s life, or rather his second lease on such. He once worked for a warring lord. Driven to despair by his duties on this lord’s behalf Jukai threw himself from a cliff into the sea. He later reveals that he survived by being found by a foreign ship. He went with them to their homeland and it was there he learned to make his miraculous prosthesis.

He worked in peace for several years he worked in relative peace assisting those grievously injured known primarily as “the doctor”. He even had an apprentice in a young man named Kaname whom he’d given a new leg when he found him orphaned by the near-constant wars. One day Kaname brings in a young boy whose arm had been cut off by a spiteful samurai. Jukai treats the wound and promises to do everything he can to help him. On their way home the boy’s mother reveals to Kaname the rumor of Jukai’s sordid past.

Turns out that the lord for whom Jukai once worked was responsible for the death of Kaname’s father. Enraged at Jukai for his part in this, Kaname makes an attempt on the doctor’s life. Jukai begs Kaname to do whatever he must after this job is done, but to let him keep his promise to the child. Kaname concedes to this, and decides ultimately not to take Jukai’s life, but leaves his prosthetic leg behind and swears that Jukai will not be his savior.

Jukai is obviously grieved that his past has caused Kaname such pain. He is walking, most likely in solemn contemplation when he slips off the side of the road coming to a stop on the side of the river. He basically seems to give up on life, the pain of his past sins and the price he and others must pay as a result of them the most likely cause.

After who knows how many hours just lying there on the riverbank Jukai is awakened by the sound of a boat bobbing just off shore. He stands and checks inside to find our boy Hyakkimaru still in skinless baby form. Realizing that he has yet again been denied death in service to a greater purpose he takes in the infant whose tenacity to survive is so strong that he’s doing so without many major organs and bodyparts... and senses...

As we know Jukai outfitted baby no-face with a prosthetic body and mask so he could lead a normal-ish life. One day while they were out gathering... gathering, Young Hyakkimaru was attacked by a Kamaitachi, and Jukai quickly learned that monsters of all shape and size were drawn to Hyak’s insatiable desire to live. So he undertook the task of training the boy, and apparently it went well since after a few montage stills to represent the passage of time we find that Young Hyakkimaru is able to start slaying Yokai with a freaking STICK!

This kid does not fuck around. It is at this point that Jukai begins to have misgivings. He realizes that along with everything else that Hyakkimaru has had his ability to feel pain and fatigue taken from him. Without the fear of pain he is able to attack ruthlessly and without hesitation. Jukai ponders if teaching this unflappable child to fight was really the best decision, but ultimately sees that there’s nothing for it at this point. Then one day he makes the discovery that defeating monsters like this has the potential to give Hyakkimaru back his lost bodyparts. So he constructs the sword-arms that we’ve seen in the first two episodes and sends Hyakkimaru off on his grand adventure.

Back in present day we see Hyakkimaru awaken, presumably from his collapse in the previous episode. He walks toward the group’s campfire and is about to just casually step in the thing when he feels the heat and recoils from it. This seems to piss him off. How dare this inconvenient sensation make him hesitate!? So he stomps his foot down in the campfire and Dororo has to stop him before he really hurts himself. This is our reveal, that in the end, despite Jukai’s fears, Hyakkimaru has ultimately regained the ability to feel pain, and is going to have to learn how to live with the hesitation this fact brings with it.

Thoughts: From what I’ve seen Jukai is very much a man filled with regrets. A man who believes it is impossible to atone for his past sins. He sees the flaws in everything he’s done more strongly than any virtue he may possess or any good he has done. True he was compelled to commit heinous acts in service to his lord. True he kept his dark past hidden from his apprentice. True, he saw Hyakkimaru attacked by a demon and his first instinct was: “Boy Imma teach you to kick they ass!” All of these things, however, have their reasons. As a man in service to a feudal lord Jukai didn’t have a lot of choice in what he did, but ultimately he did make the choice that if staying true to his loyalties meant committing atrocity he’d rather take his own life into his hands. As a doctor trying to live a peaceful life to drive away his past if not redeem himself he did not see any reason to burden a young man struggling against his own trouble with the bleak history of a man running from the past. Yet ultimately he did not deny or refute the truth when he was confronted and placed his promise to help a young man well above his own life. As a man faced with the problem of what to do about hungry demons attacking a young man he did what any man raised in feudal wartime would have done: Taught the boy to defend himself. It should be obvious that despite the fickle whims of circumstance this was the best call. Not only would Hyakkimaru have the tools he needed to survive, he could also use those tools to help others evade the malevolent attentions of demons.

I think Jukai is my favorite character. He’s an old man broken by the sins he’s heaped upon his own shoulders who refuses to accept any redemption offered to him. He bears the consequences of his actions valiantly, even if he takes on more responsibility than he is due. Most importantly, though, he cares. Not in the way our other protagonists care, but deeply cares for those who have lost something to the cruelty of the world. This is exemplified in what he has chosen to do with his life now that Hyakkimaru has left it. He wanders battlefields affixing prosthetics to the dead who have been dismembered. He repairs them after a fashion so that they may be laid to rest, if not precisely whole, then at least not wholly broken.

This has been the story of Jukai: The man cares.

Until next post keep talking fiction, friends! I’ll see you soon.

#Anime #Let's Talk Anime #Dororo #Dororo 2019 #Fictionerd #In-Character #Winter 2019 #Winter Season 2019 #Winter Anime 2019

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merlinthoughts · 6 years

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Season 1 Episode 2 - Valiant

- ik for a fact that this one is the episode with the asshhoole. not bc i recognised it from the title but perhaps it was because i recognised it from the title u got me there

- i always go to mr clean too when i want protection, val, ur not alone

- yeah, this is harry potter l ma o

- the next thing u know theres a stone that makes arthur live forever and the snakes start joining into one and growing bigger until a phoenix (im dibbing on kilgie here), pops their corneas out

- DAMN DON'T KILL UR DEALER WHERE U GONNA GET THE NEW SHIT FROM NEXT TIME SMH VALIANT

- okay but who names their son valiant

- he was probably named valerie and didnt like it so he said “woah imma be valiant like courage, thats sick”

- that was probably his superhero persona as a child ngl

- no, shev, no respect for val stop doing this

- merlin in armour, what a fucking bLESiSNG GIVING ME THIS RIGHT ON THE SPOT BBC KNOWS WHATS GOOD

- ok a y but hear me out, merlins a servant. i have not seen any of these servants been asked to train with the royals??? like in the sense where it helps the servant train as well?? and the FIRST thing arthur does with merlin as his servant is train with him. not only is arthur a huge JOCK, he’s not using his manservant properly

- neverfuckingmind “most servants collapse after the first blow”, so it seems to be arthur likes to train with his servants. now that in itself is a question to be asked, but is he the only royal who trains with his servants??? how did this man survive on his own without a personal servant until merlin??? did he have a personal servant??? was it just regular servants?? who are those other servants he trained with??? did arthur just say hey lets go to the field in the morning, put on armour and let’s have a fun time?? UNLESS merlin literally just took someones job away from them kmao

- also my mind went right to the gutter guys, ngl, it sounded like an innuendo. it had me quaking i wish i was one of those servants

- “we all have our duties, even arthur” “it must be so tough for him, all the *hesitates* girl, all the glory”

- so we probably get at least 1 out of every 2 episodes where there’s a scene with merlin dressing arthur in his armour. bring the popcorn, lads.

- MORGANA LOOKING LIKE A FRICKEN SNACK

- the reigning champion is arthur, wonder fucking w h y

- valiant is in fucking mustard, while arthur is fucking ketchup idk why i thought of that but it happened. my literature teacher always told me to look for symbolisms. guess we found one guys.

- merlin after hating on arthur for the past episode is literally just cheering arthur on like a good husband he is

- did ARTHUR JUST SNICKER AT MERLINS “CREEP” LMAO DON'T TRY AND HIDE IT BY HUFFING AT HIM AFTERWARDS YOU FUCKING GOOF

- omg he hid it by telling merlin to do a full novel of chores

- AND MERLIN DOES IT WITH MAGIC A PAIR OF GOOFS

- “are you using magic again” “no” merlin ffs he just saw you use magic, while the items fell and landed right in front of him while you didn’t move at aLL. they are nOT BLIND

- “very aggressive style” I MEAN SURE UTHER

- valerie be fuckboying morgana lmao with a “i saw you watching” and a, “then i will give everything to win the tournament”

- i wish this show was set in the early 2000s so i can see val in low sweatpants, a backwards cap with gelled spiky hair and cheap neon sunglasses (maybe even some gold teeth just for kicks), while hes trying to rap 50 cents or make a mixtape of brit pop songs. bc yes.

- honestly im loving my 2000 fuckboy au. gonna make an ao3 after this.

- of course merlin would be the one to find out the magic shit in valiants room, it just lures him. AND OF COURSE VALIANT IS THERE

- i'm so fucking glad arthur looks confused as to how merlin did what he asked. when u have this kind of hubby, arthur, its amazing what things he can do.

- i dont know why theres dramatic music as merlin put armour on arthur but im living for it

- “is it my imagination or are you beginning to enjoy yourself?” merlin doesn't know what to say to that bc he’s turning gay and doesn't know if that counts as enjoying oneself when the one you are gay for is the asshole prince

- typically enough, valiant and arthur never fight except for the finale. like with all conveniences in place, youd expect them to have at least fought at some point with as much knights as there to determine the final two but no, just the finale. k.

- this poor fucking purple knighted bloke didn’t need to be fucking demonstrated on, val. like you didn't need to kill him?? that could have blown ur cover

- DID NOBODY SEE THAT??? DID NOBODY SEE THE FUCKING SNAKES???

- oooh merlin found out what happened everyone gonna be fucked. nobody harms arthur is he has something to say about it

- if someone starts off a sentence with “i just saw someones snakes on their shield come alive” nobody would fucking believe you, merls. but given the fact that magic exist… mhh maybe it wouldn’t be too absurd. but ppl apparently are thick as hell

- “why were you in his chambers” well i know how id explain if i was in valiants chambers ;)

- jk i dont fall for this toxic shit

- imagine getting paid as an actor just just lie down there like this poisoned kid. “yeah, id like to audition for ewan’s role???” “why are you lying on the ground?”

- i hate those tropes where it's like “i know how to tell someones bad, here’s proof” and then nobody believes you and tells you you’re lying and should die or whatever but then you kNOW IT'S THE FUCKIN TRUTH BITCH that trope gives me damn anxiety >:((

- yes merlin, fucking slash the shield with your sword. i'm sure that's how it works. im sure it will kill the snakes.

- HOWA RE THE SNAKES ALIVE WITHOUT VAL SAYING “ISHNAHASHAHI”

- i think val would know that you cut off the snake’s head, merls, just saying. ur were the oNLY ONE.

- TELL ARTHUR WHAT??? “I CUT A SNAKE”

- EXACLTY ONG THAT'S WHAT MERLIN FUCKING SAID I WAS RIGHT LMAO

- ARTHUR BELEIVED HIM I'M FUCKING LIVING BUT IK WHAT HAPPENS AND AHH

- uhhh the anxiety is rolling up boys

- ewan is mcfuckingdead

- snake be sliding in like a hoe on a business

- bfehfjdjfskf i hate this part

- arthur's pride, merlin’s pride, fuck me

- i'm not even gonna write this part, it breaks my fragile heart when arthur sees the look of people not believing him, especially his dad, and merlin seeing how arthur doesn't trust him anymore like prepare the eulogies girlies

- okay but if arthur is struck and gaius has the antidote?? arthur aint gonna die technically

- but now val knows merlin knows

- AND MERLIN INTERVENES

- why are royals so bitchy towards servants. like they do their best to help you??? they are loyal to you and are paid there to serve you and are often very kind, generous, passive, understanding people??? yet merlin interrupts uther and he fucking sends him to the pit

- VAL YOU ASS LMAO DON'T HURT MY SON’S PRIDE

- he said allegations like four times, yes uther we know ur vocab is shining with intellect but seriously, there’s other synonyms that could still be acceptable and still sound fancy

- quick search on google bc my mind doesnt roll fast enough: claim, assertion, charge, accusation, declaration, statement, contention, deposition, argument, affirmation. see daddy uther, not hard to look up.

- forget they didnt have internet whoopsies

- :((( arthur doesn't trust merlin anymore

- the husbands FIGHT

- not just a banter petty fight, this is a huge fight

- SACKING MERLIN DON'T FUCKING SACK MERLIN YOU GOOF

- TRUST UR HUBBY

- FUCK

- I'M GONNA CRY AND IT'S ONLY EPISODE TWO

- I'M HAVING EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS CONCERNING MY TWO BOYS

- GUYS IM NOT OKAy

- its been 2 minutes after i wrote that last sentence, and i am now okay

- “a half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole” iconic as hell. so many things could be said about that quote. either for innuendo purposes, love purposes, destiny purposes, how long it took me to say it right, just so many purposes man. it’s just iconic.

- merlin looks absolutely done with kilgaharama’s shit

- “just give me a straight answer” seems like kilgarass here is being too gay for merlin

- gwen already knows merlin’s the heroin of the series, saying everyone knows it's merlin who will save the day. but same tbh

- i dunno if this is like me or not but it says her nickname is gwyn in the subtitles but im typing it as gwen which i thought was how u wrote it, even if her full name is gwynevere but like gwen has a ring to it while gwyn sounds like gwin or smth and i dunno which one is right so ill just leave it alone ahjsjfk

- MORGANA HAS VISIONS WE ALREADY KNOW WHERE THIS GOES SHES MAGIC ISNT SHE HAHAHAHAUHD

- merlin trying one last time to convince his husband not to die, but at least this time arthur knows he’s up for val’s magic and is like “k iloveyou but i have to do this for the country not just bc of pride and thinking val is not magic”

- staring into the fire like he’s hoping it would suck him up into the void, not only is merlin a now confirmed emo, so is fucking arthur it seems. perfect for one another i'm telling you

- eerie music as morgana enters… wha suddenly i can't read

- i thought at first morgana and arthur were gonna end up together cause of the fucking weird tension going on and i was prepared to be disfuckinggusted but no! the show and producers actually put my expectations away and helped me see that it wasn’t going in that direction! thank fucking god!

- k but arthur looks majestic in his gear im just a huge bi

- “don’t go into my room” he says then gaius peaks in and almost gets mauled by a large chihuahua

- me too val, id step on someone's toes then fuck them up with an undercut. thats the bad bitch way to go. unless it for arthur, then val hahaha you can go fuck yourself

- no one sees mErLin??

- but they now see the snakes smh fakes

- “what are you doing? i didn't summon you” i don't think that will work val cause you didn't say it with a serpent tongue, it has to sound more like “shhashhwhat ahhssare hiisssyou iisshhaadoing?”

- okay but i thought arthur was impaled for a half second until he started to talk then i screamed that he was aight and he would now believe merlin

- uther better give merlin an apology

- arthur just said he wouldnt

- but still uther BETTER APOLOGISE TO FUCKING MERLIN

- “yknow i wish valiant was escorting me” “me too” i thought for a fricken moment arthur wished valiant would have escorted HIM. i'm dying.OMG

- “i wanted to say i made a mistake. it was unfair to sack you.” “don’t worry about it. buy me a drink and we’ll call it even.” DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THINK YOU JUST SAID MERLIN YOU SLY DOG OMG

- “i can’t really be seen to be buying drinks for my servant.” so if he wasn’t ur servant?? you’d say yes?? they are so fucking gay i can't anymore

- yeah, i literally fucking can't

#merlin #merlin bbc #merthur #s1 #this is early bc well it was already written #peeps up for the next one boys #tho its not done #expect it in a few days oop #s1.2

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mercurytail · 6 years

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Shifting Sands Chapter 4

:D I proudly present Chapter four! Thanks to @the-hallowed-lady for betaing.

Please be aware that this chapter contains Sexual content.

Please Leave comments they keep me going <3 I Love you all!

Enjoy!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15223778/chapters/35309981

Shifting Sands Chapter 4

(Important: The weapon later in the story used by the bounty hunter in Mexico is a modified bolo tie, it is made of wire and the pendant is a heating fixture, it enables the tie to decapitate and cauterize when cinched.)

McCree stirs just as the first light kisses the horizon, turning the sky into an array of blazing orange, vermillion, and lavender; the shy blue basking amongst them. McCree stands and looks to the other room, Hanzo lies on the bed, chest rising and falling steadily. He turns to the cabinet and grabs a bottle of painkillers; god knows he’ll need um. ‘So much for a ‘good night’s sleep’’, He downs four pills with a glass of water.

He peels off his shirt and leans over the sink to wash his hair. He then cleans up his face in the mirror. Satisfied with his priming, he briefly considers grabbing a clean shirt but decides against it so as not to awaken Hanzo. He tosses his old shirt in the corner with the rest of his dirty clothes. He peels off the gauze from his wound and treats it, then dresses it with clean dressings.

When finished, he stows the kit away and returns to the kitchen. He doesn’t have much in the ways of food, but with the rye bread, dried heirloom beans, bacon, leftover avocado and peach preserves, there is the makings of a decent meal in his opinion. He sets his beans to soak and looks over the route they’ll take to his supplier in Santa Fe.

He occupies himself while the beans soak with a cigarillo outside. A couple hours pass and he walks back in. He heats a pan and cooks up the bacon, while two slices of bread tick away in the toaster. He takes the beans from the water and fries them in the leftover bacon grease. Once they're cooked to his liking he mashes them and smears some on half a slice of toast, he lays avocado over them. He spoons a dollop of peach preserves on the side and calls it good.

*grunt*

McCree hears Hanzo stir in the other room. He smirks to himself and scoops up the plates.

***

Hanzo wakes to the sunlight streaming from under the door, he sits up with a groan. The smell of bacon wafts through the air. Hanzo turns and places his feet on the floor, but before he can stand the door opens.

“Mornin’” McCree greets him. Shirtless.

“Good Morning,” Hanzo nods briefly stunned by the man’s soft-toned muscular chest. A water droplet glides down McCree’s chest from his still slightly damp hair.

“Figured’ you’d be mighty famished, what with the day you had yesterday,” He places the plate down on Hanzo’s lap. Then quickly returns with two glasses of water. He sits down on the floor across from Hanzo with his own plate in hand.

Hanzo’s takes in the meal on his lap. The golden preserves are nestled up against the glistening crispy bacon. Hanzo soon realizes just how starved he feels with the pain that blossoms in his gut, he drools slightly. He snaps from his trance and wipes the drool on the back of his hand. He picks up a strip of bacon and scoops up the sweet preserves onto it. The sweet and salty flavor is heavenly in his mouth.

He notices McCree waits kindly till he’s nearly done with his beans on toast to speak.

“So, if you were headed to Gibraltar, How’d you end up here?” McCree says as he finishes chewing a strip of bacon and reaches for his water glass.

Hanzo takes a strip of avocado, chews and swallows it before answering. “As I stated before, I do not know. I had been on a job in Germany when they double-crossed me, I was forced to flee and the last I remember is being confronted with a bomb. I destroyed it. After the explosion, I found myself here.”

“Did you use your lightning to destroy it?” McCree inquires.

“Yes…” Hanzo now finished eating, sips at his water.

“Sounds to me like you might a’ made a rift, what with all that energy being concentrated in one place.” McCree shrugs.

“Rift? Like a kind of space rift?” Hanzo furrows his brow in ah that McCree would have this type of knowledge.

“Yeah, had it happen to me once back in my service days. One second, I was facin’ off against some baddies in Russia, the next, I’m laid out on my ass in the middle a flock of sheep in New Zealand. Helluv’ a ride. Took Winston two weeks to figure out what had happened.” McCree stands and motions for Hanzo’s plate.

“I see…” Hanzo hands the plate over and leans back on his arms on the bed. “By any means, the coincidence of my appearance here was a blessing in disguise for the both of us it seems.” McCree flashes him a wide smile and walks to the kitchen. Hanzo follows.

McCree places the plates in the sink and gives them a quick rinse. “I’m assumin’ you’ll want to shower before we head out. Imma’ pack up some things and get my bike ready.” McCree walks into the bedroom, Hanzo hears him rustling around. The man returns carrying a bundle of clothes and a sleek grey duffle bag. “Help yourself to anything ya’ see.” McCree motions to the soaps near the shower and then proceeds to exit the shack leaving Hanzo to himself.

Hanzo looks at the door for a short moment, He then walks over to his bag and pulls out his comb, razor, and tea soup bar. He lays them on the floor by the wall mirror. He peels off his remaining clothes and folds them individually, laying them over the back of the leather recliner. Lastly, he pulls the yellow silk tie from his hair; it cascades over his shoulders. He reaches up and runs his fingers over his scalp, savouring the release. He turns the knob and allows it to heat up before stepping under the spray.

Hanzo’s sharp cheekbones glisten in the light. He scrubs his hands over the hardened edge of his abs and hip bone. His hard-toned body feels good under is touch. He takes his razor and runs over every inch of himself; he trims up his unruly lower bush, and then trims his beard. He washes his face and hair then rinses off. He towels off and wrings out his hair, then ties it into a high ponytail, his hair and silken ribbon drape down his back. He slips on a black cut-out tank and his Aztec designed pants and puts his gear over top, he then sits in the leather chair to lace and buckle up his boots.

He moves over to his bag and checks its contents. He will need to replace his missing knife, as well as a heady set of arrows and arrowheads. He reaches for Storm bow and gives it an once-over. His bow could use tuning when there was time for it. He repacks then straps on his bag and quiver and places Storm bow over his shoulder.

He then walks out into the morning sun. It’s not hot quite yet but Hanzo senses that will soon change. He talks off his jacket and ties it around his waist. He then turns and makes his way to the back of the shed, where he hears McCree scuffling about.

***

McCree walks around to the back of the shed and opens the hatch. He climbs down into the basement and walks over to his workbench. He places the duffle bag and change of clothes down. He turns and strips, then slips on the clean Shirt and brown suede pants, he rolls up the bottom a couple loops. He folds and places the dirty clothes in the duffle.

He then takes his chest armour off the wall and straps it on. He turns back and takes the chaps off the wall from where they’re hanging and folds them; placing them in the duffle. He takes his holster and straps it on placing Peacekeeper in her place. He unzips a side pocket of the duffle and places spare bullets and flash bangs in it, as well as essentials such as painkillers, sterile wrap, a flashlight, granola bars, and a tin for water.

He places the packed duffle in the saddle bag of the Atlas and buckles it. He slips his switch knife and the bike keys in his pocket, then wraps on his serape; topping it all off with his beloved hat. He takes his bike and pulls it up out onto the packed desert clay then closes and latches the hatch.

Hanzo walks around the corner.

“All packed and ready to go.” McCree tips his hat at Hanzo and winks. “You look refreshed.”

Hanzo ignores the gesture, “The shower was agreeable. Is this the only mode of transportation you have?” Hanzo motions to the Atlas, less than pleased.

McCree cocks his head and looks from the bike to Hanzo and back. “If you’re hatin’ on her, you can just walk. Or we could travel by Sand,” McCree looks Hanzo in the eye. “Or lightning in your case.”

Hanzo bristles, “That would be unsafe and impractical for energy conservation.”

To that McCree moves to the bike and mounts it. He turns and pats the back seat, grinning at Hanzo. Hanzo walks over and saddles the bike behind McCree.

McCree starts the bike and looks back at Hanzo. “Hold on Darlin’,” McCree kicks the bike to life and guns off. Hanzo flails back but finds his hands soon clasp securely around McCree’s waist. He frowns slightly to himself from how much he likes it more than he should. McCree grins to himself all the while. They fall into a comfortable silence.

***

They make it to the supplier in Santa Fe by the late afternoon.

McCree pulls into the alleyway and knocks on the side door of a redbrick apartment building in a rundown part of town. Hanzo stands beside him. A cat walks out from behind a dumpster, completely black all over except for two small white dots just above its brow arches. “You have horns, my friend.” It mewls at him; Hanzo bends down and calmly strokes it. The small hatch at eye level on the door slides open and McCree exchanges words with the man.

Soon the door swings open and they are let inside. The cat follows. The room inside is small, each wall of redbrick possess a fluorescent bar light. The wall across from the door has a waist-high counter, above that are bars to protect the seller; flaking green paint hanging from them. On the left wall is a pair of Iron doors, their glass windows fogged with years of grime. One door is cracked, showing a training mat and small target range inside. The cat leaps up onto the counter and squeezes under the bars, there is a small red pillow on a stool on the opposite side, it jumps up and rolls over on the pillow, all four paws in the air stretching languidly. The man who opened the door seals it and sits down on a padded chair in the corner. He picks up his newspapers and resumes reading it. He’s bulky but seemingly unarmed. But they all know that is a lie.

McCree makes his way up to the counter and knocks on it. “Melanie, you here?”

“Jesse, what brings your sorry ass to my shop?” A thin woman with bright purple shoulder length hair and a septum piercing walks out from the shadows among rows of shelves, she’s tan with black lipstick; a small gold chain hangs around her neck. She wears all skin-tight white clothes. “Oh! And you’ve brought company.” Her eye peruses Hanzo, “Mmmmm, and what fine company it is.”

“Don’t you got a man back home Mel?” McCree raises a brow.

“Just because a girl’s on a diet doesn’t mean she can’t browse the menu, and maybe taste test a little. Now, are you here for business? Or pleasure?” She places her hand on the counter and leans toward Hanzo accentuating her chest.

Hanzo sneers disinterestedly and looks to McCree.

“Sorry Mel, we’re here on pure business. I need a case of bullets and a bottle of gun oil. Also, whatever he needs.” McCree motions with his thumb back at Hanzo.

Hanzo moves forward, “I require a set of arrows, arrowheads, and a serrated pocket knife.”

“’humph’, aren’t you both needy.” She grins at them, “give me an hour and I’ll have it ready for you.” She waves them off and disappears back amongst the shelves, her bladed heels clicking in the darkness.

McCree turns to Hanzo, “you wanna’ spar to pass the time?”

Hanzo huffs amusedly, “I doubt you will present much of a challenge.”

McCree grins wickedly, “Hey now, don’t knock me till you try me.” He flicks his nose with his thumb and saunters into the training room. He removes his armor, hat, serape, and boots. Hanzo follows and removes his arm guard, bag, and boots. They both face each other on the mat and Hanzo bows then ready himself. “Now Darlin’ don’t you feel you have to take it easy on me.” McCree brings his fists up.

McCree swings forward with his left hand. Like a whip, Hanzo flashes out grabs McCree’s arm, curls into him and flips him over his shoulder onto the mat. “I never take it easy.”

McCree grunts on the mat, he rolls over and stands back up. He looks up at Hanzo with a wolfish grin. “Again.”

They ready themselves once more. Hanzo strikes out, going yet again for a disarm and takedown. McCree responds my fanning away. He surges back with a fake left jab when Hanzo responds he then glides his right arm around Hanzo’s head and pulls it back straight against his spine and forces him to the floor. Hanzo collapses and stares up at McCree standing smugly over him. He gets up and readies himself once more.

The next hour consists of both men equally being thrown, pulled, flipped, and driven into the mat. Both with a permanent grin on their face.

A bell rings from the other room. “’Ahem’ Gentlemen I hate to interrupt your date, but I have your items ready.” Melanie spouts from the other room. Hanzo scoffs and walks over to his things to redress. McCree grins and does the same. They both walk out and pay for their items. “Farewell, my dears!” She waves goodbye from her side of the counter. They walk to the door and out into the alley. McCree packs away his items and Hanzo stashes his things in his quiver bag.

“Do you want to stop for the night?” McCree flashes a raised eyebrow to Hanzo.

“That might be wise.” Hanzo joins McCree on the bike and they ride off.

Soon they pull up in front of a rather nice-looking hotel. McCree parks and turns to his duffle. He takes off his hat, and slicks back his hair. He removes his serape and folds it into the duffle. He straightens the wrinkles from his shirt; buttons it completely and tucks it in his pants. He pulls out a pair of thin frame glasses from his bag and places them low on his face. He then places the grey duffle on his shoulder and motions for Hanzo to follow. They make their way inside and to the front desk.

“Hello, a double king suit please, if you don’t mind.” McCree flashes a bright smile with a cheer Hanzo has yet to see from the man. His accent is completely different, and he exudes an arrogant energy.

“Of course, sir, May I have the name and duration of stay?” The receptionist chirps back typing away at the holoscreen.

“Joel Morricone for a single night.” McCree takes out his wallet and pulls out a credit card. It reads Joel J Morricone in the name slot. They pay and are given a room number. In the elevator, McCree is eerily quiet. Once they are in their room McCree shakes out his hair, takes off the glasses and returns them to their case in the duffle. “Which bed you want?” he asks as he simultaneously lays down on one of the two.

Hanzo lays his bag against the wall; he then smirks at McCree who has one eye open at him. “I will use the bathroom first.” Hanzo proceeds to grab an undershirt and a pair of sweatpants from his bag and locks the door to the bathroom behind him.

McCree rolls over and strips down to his underwear, taking a pair of sweatpants from his bag and slips them on. He lies down on the bed and tucks under the top downy comforter.

He smiles to himself. A feeling of fondness blooms in his chest. Not having to explain Joel to Hanzo was comforting. Hanzo knew the need of such alter egos, the requirement to be a different person when the time called for it. He turned over on his side and closed his eyes.

McCree was asleep when Hanzo came out of the bathroom. He pulled back the layers of his bed and crawled in. He turned off the shared porcelain lamp and folded into himself. His breath slowed gradually as he drifted off.

***

They wake at sunrise and travel all morning, they make it to a small Texas town about six hours from Dallas by lunchtime and they decide to stop and eat. Hanzo picks a classic looking diner. McCree comments that it looks a lot like the panorama Diner from back home. “Let’s hope the coffee’s at least drinkable.” They walk in and are seated into a red faux leather booth.

They are both given menus, McCree orders coffee and a glass of water, Hanzo requests mineral water. “I’ll get your drinks and you can order with me when you’re ready” chirps the waitress. She returns with their drinks and they shoo her off till later.

McCree looks over to Hanzo and seems about to say something when a ring echoes out from his pocket. McCree retrieves his communicator and looks at the ID. He furrows his brow and answers.

“Hello Mrs. Shewmore, I’m afraid I ain’t home right now so if you need help….” McCree pauses, his eyes widen. He takes the earpiece out from the communicator and hands it to Hanzo. Hanzo places it in his ear.

“Jesse, I needed to tell you. There was a man that came to my home searching for you.”

“Are you alr...?” McCree starts.

“I am fine, a bit worse for wear but alive, Son I need to know your safe. Ease this old lady’s heart.” She interrupts him and pleads.

“I am fine Mrs. I am off pretty far with a friend,” McCree says with a soft voice.

“Good.” She seems soothed.

“Can you tell us what happened?” McCree ducks his head into his hand propped on the table.

***

A knock sounds from the front step. Mrs. Shewmore scuffles to the screen and raises her eyes, her smiles drops. A Large hulking man stands on the other side. His skin is dark, presumably of mixed descent, freckles scatter across his face. His short, auburn red hair is shaved short. He wears a black short sleeve jacket with a white chest plate over it, military-grade pants with several large pockets adorn his legs; mid-calf boots on his feet.

“Hello Ma’am,” The man pushes open the screen door and forces his way in, “I’m looking for a man by the name of Jesse McCree. I hear tell you might know where he is.” He leans forward a bit casting a shadow over her.

“I am sorry but, I must ask you to leave.” She moves around him and toward the door. The man spins and grabs her by the throat thrusting her up against the wall. He continues normally. “You see, he took something real’ important from me. An’ I plan to make him pay for it.” Mrs. Shewmore grabs the vase on the side table near her and attempts to smash it over his head. The man grabs her arm however and bends it back, breaking it with a sickening snap. She screams out in pain. “Now, you either tell me where his little shithole is in this godforsaken dead land, or I can drag you around behind my truck with me till I find it.” He reaches into one of his pockets and pulls out a large chain.

***

A Shadow busts in the door of McCree’s shack. No one is home. The man angrily kicks the side table; it shatters into pieces against the opposite wall. A glare of light catches his eye. He walks over the holoscreen and presses it on. The figure smiles viciously. “Don’t you worry Sammy, I got him.”

***

“After that, I gave him the coordinates of your shack and prayed for your safety. I know you can handle yourself Jesse, but I still worry.” Mrs. Shewmore quips.

“Thank you kindly for the warning Ma’am, I’ll keep a sharp eye out. You get yourself to the hospital now you hear me?” McCree says his pleasantries and hangs up.

He looks at Hanzo as a mixture of emotions crosses his face. Anger, yes, but fear too. Soon, they all melt away and a solemn mask takes their place. “We might have company.”

Hanzo nods, “Do you know if the hunter that made an attempt on your life two days ago worked alone?”

McCree gives him a quizzical eye. “I don’t rightly know.”

They finish their meal and rent a motel for the night. All afternoon they spend researching If Sammy had any recorded partners. Only when searching through a deleted social media page do they find a single name that catches McCree’s eye. Garrett Hazel. The profile shows a single picture of Sammy and Garrett kissing with a caption at the bottom that reads: “To the love of my life, I am hopeful for our bright future.” beside it there’s a wedding ban emoji. Hanzo finds an article on him, “Garrett Peter Hazel, ex-military SEP soldier, he turned to bounty hunting after the programs fall out. His success rate is 96%”

They decide to rest and rise early. They leave in the morning before the suns first rays taint the black sky. They make it to the station before the sun even separates from the horizon. The train is due to depart later in the morning. McCree stows his bike in a garage. They board the train from the back and sneak into the rearmost cabin. Not until the train finally starts to excel down the rail does either man relax. McCree sits back and takes a nap as the train crosses state after state. Hanzo busies himself with his holopad.

“Dear passengers, we will be making our planned stop at Charlotte in ten minutes. Please buckle and have a wonderful day.” The intercom announces overhead. They pull into the station and come to a halt.

McCree stands, “Imma’ take a leak.” He opens the door to their booth and stops when he enters the hall.

Their car is strangely quiet.

McCree reaches for Peacekeeper but has no time to draw before a black bulk slams into him. Garrett nails him in the jaw with a flying punch and knocks him to the floor. Peacekeeper flies down the hall. He pulls a heavy chain from his pocket and goes to wrap it around McCree’s neck.

Hanzo reacts instantly; he lunges forward and grapples around his neck, slinging his legs up over his shoulder and pulling Garrett to the floor. He gets to McCree and pulls him to his feet, but Garrett recovers and grabs for McCree’s ankle, “So weak you can’t even take me alone? Gotta’ have a bodyguard?” Garrett taunts. McCree kicks at his face bending it obscenely back breaking his nose, blood runs down over his lips. Hanzo gets him to his feet as the train is beginning to move again. McCree grabs Peacekeeper from the floor. They make it to the door of the car and attempt to move to the next car up when Garrett catches McCree’s serape and nearly pulls him over the side of the now blindingly fast speeding train. Hanzo scales the train to the roof and pulls McCree up. Garrett soon follows.

“Nowhere to run now,” Garrett whips out his chain and stalks forward. The train is extremely unsteady. They are forced to near crawl to keep footing as they move toward the engine.

McCree turns to Hanzo, “I can’t use my sand at this high a speed, I’ll get ripped away, and Peacekeepers out of commission if I can’t aim.

Hanzo nods and quickly unleashes an arrow into the behemoth of a man. It lands solidly in his shoulder, but the man doesn’t falter. Hanzo releases another, it lands in his neck and still, the man does not slow. His eyes are bloodshot and he’s breathing heavily, seemingly running off pure fury and adrenaline.

Garret roars at the two men, now gating toward them as they clamber up the train. “My arrows have no effect!” Hanzo yells.

McCree looks back at Garret now merely two meters away. “Use your lightning!” McCree shouts.

Hanzo stares at McCree and hesitates. “I can’t”.

McCree looks at him confused, “Why not?!” at this moment Garret closes the distance and throws himself into McCree. They roll, violently trading blows. They topple over the edge and McCree catches the rail bar just barely, Garret clings to him.

Hanzo moves swiftly to the edge and grabs a hold of McCree’s hand. “You are coming with me, you son of a bitch!” Garret bellows from below.

“Hanzo! Use it!” McCree pleads. Their grip slips just a bit.

“He’s too close to you - if I do you’ll get hit by the current!” Hanzo exclaims.

Times stills when Hanzo catches the smiles on McCree’s face, “I trust you.”

Hanzo stares at him for mere seconds, a searing white light lifts from his tattoo and his eyes sprout small arks of electric blue. A bolt lifts from his back and strikes Garrett in the chest, sending a current ripping through his body. Both men scream in agony. Garrett slumps and falls from McCree, His body hits the fast-moving earth below soon out of sight and sooner forgotten.

Hanzo immediately pulls McCree back up on the car. He’s unconscious. Hanzo moves them both back to their cabin and lays McCree down on the floor. There’s no pulse. Hanzo tries CPR on him to no avail.

He screams. Lightning shatters off of him, shattering the glass around them. McCree convulses when he’s hit. Hanzo’s eyes widen with an idea. He grabs for McCree’s prosthetic and grips it tightly. Hanzo sends a shock through it, nothing. He tries again, McCree sucks in a gasp of air. Hanzo feels for a pulse, it’s erratic but most definitely there. Hanzo breathes a sigh of relief and slumps back against the seat.

When the Train reaches the New York station the sun is nearly gone. McCree is awake when they arrive; they exit the train and find an old abandoned apartment building to hold up in. They both feel safer in a no-name place like this. Hanzo moves a heavy desk in front of the door. The only pieces of furniture in the dilapidated studio apartment are a mattress in the corner and industrial spool meant to as a table. Hanzo helps McCree lay down on the mattress.

It’s quiet; aside from the club music weakly bubbling in through the crack in the window.

“Thank you,” McCree breaks the silence.

“I nearly killed you.” Hanzo is facing away from him. He isn’t angry with McCree but feels the need to distance himself. If the man harbors any ill-will toward him, he will bare it. He deserves it.

“Yeah, but you also saved me….twice.” McCree sits up. “Look, Hanzo I know what it’s like to be scared. To not want to use a part of yourself.”

Hanzo whips around staring daggers at him. “How would you know? Sand is slow and child’s play compared to lightning. Do you have any idea how much constant focus I am forced to maintain to keep the lightning contained? To keep it from destroying everything around me? To keep it…from hurting anyone..,” ‘From hurting you’. Hanzo curls in on himself. His lightning has always been unruly, even as a child he excelled at everything else. The elders would prod him, cajole him to master it, he had tried. When he was told to confront Genji…things had gone too far…he had only meant to use it to hinder him…but… Hanzo crouches; he cups his head between his hands making him look even smaller.

“Hanzo,” McCree crawls off the mattress and over to him, “Hanzo, you don’ have to…you don’t. Gaw!” He holds his prosthetic out in front of him, “you see this?” Hanzo nods. “It was about two years after I’d left Overwatch; I got caught by a hunter down in Mexico. Back then I was still green around the edges, still used to being taken care of, I had a hold on my sands but I thought I was untouchable. All I’d ever really used em’ for was to dodge bullets and Deadeye. He caught me real close, and it came to blows real’ quick. We were tradin’ punches left and right when the guy got his weird bolo wrapped around my arm. I turned to sand to try and slip out of it but it hurt so damn bad I couldn’t see straight. Next thing I know I’m lyin’ there bleeding out with my arm turnin' to dust on the ground in front of me. I managed to slither away but when I tried to reattach my arm I couldn’t. It was like it wasn’t a part of me anymore. I passed out in an alley and woke up in a kind old ladies house two days later.

“After that I got scared. Nearly died countless times taking bullets I could a’ dodged because I was too afraid to use my sands again, scared I might lose something else. It was one night at a bar, I was drunk and rambling on, that I met this old man. I don’t even know his name. He told me; “Sounds to me like you’re just waitin’ to die. If you can do something, why don’t you do?” After that I realized I’d given up on myself, I decided I’d learn my sands all over again find my limits and what I was capable of. I started using them every day. I got better; I found my strengths and my weaknesses. I also became deadlier because of it.” McCree leans into Hanzo and wraps his arms around the man. “Look, I’m not saying you have to like it, but caging it’s only gonna’ make it worst, you already know that. You got to find your limits and learn um.” McCree pauses and looks down at Hanzo, a single tear runs down his cheek, he’s staring at the cement below. McCree huffs dismissively.

He stands up “Get up,” he looks down at Hanzo offering his hand.

Hanzo looks up at him, looking to his face then his hand, a confused look on his face.

“This kind a’ sorrow is enough to kill a man… an’ I ain’t gonna’ let that happen tonight.” McCree reasserts his hand. Hanzo slowly stands, placing his hand in McCree’s.

McCree then steps into his space; he holds their hands out to the side and wraps his other arm around Hanzo’s waist. He begins to pull Hanzo along, making small circles around the room. Soon a waltz forms from the slow movements.

Neither man says anything as they continue to make sweeping motions. A slow hypnotizing beat drifts in through the window from the nightclub below. At some point they slow, their breathing is thick between them.

Hanzo gradually lifts his head. McCree surges in to meet him, Lips tangling, its intense as each man tries to soak into the other, both men finally allowing themselves to have what they’ve both yearned for, for so long. Each man needing the intimacy far longer than they’ve even known one another. Their lives don’t leave room for pleasures like this.

****Smut start****

McCree’s hands begin to explore Hanzo’s frame, lightly tracing over his waist and abs. Hanzo reaches up and pulls his hands down McCree’s back savoring the dense muscle underneath. They walk backwards and collapse onto the mattress. Hanzo crowds into the space between McCree’s legs. He slowly lifts McCree’s shirt and follows it with his lips, trailing soft kisses and licks all the way up until they meet in a soft kiss. McCree tugs at Hanzo’s jacket and it is soon gone along with his shirt. They barely break long enough for Hanzo to get it over his head. Their shoes come off somewhere along the way.

Hanzo sucks McCree’s earlobe and traces his teeth down McCree’s throat where he nips. Hanzo suckles one nipple in his mouth, drawing a deep moan out of the man below him. He fondles the other pebble nipple. McCree tangles his hands into his hair, pulling the tie loose. Hanzo grazes his teeth over the nipple as he switches.

After a bit, McCree shivers and sets up pushing Hanzo over to his back. Hanzo goes willingly. McCree crawls over him leaving bites up one arm, across his shoulders, neck, and chest then down the other arm. He squeezes Hanzo’s ass firmly. They kiss once more, tongues sliding deliciously. Hanzo tastes sweet. McCree tastes earthy. McCree reaches for Hanzo’s belt cautiously; Hanzo nods and breathes a silent ‘yes’. Both move to lick and nibble at the other's neck as McCree slides off Hanzo’s pants, underwear coming with them. Hanzo fumbles with McCree’s waistband. McCree chuckles and releases the ridiculous buckle for him, his pants and boxers slide off easily. Their thighs glide over each other as they slide closer. McCree grasps his hands and pins them above his head as they drown in the sensation of skin against warm skin

When they finally touch the friction draws a brisk inhale from both men. Hanzo fumbles for his bag and pulls out a small bottle of lube. McCree raises a brow, “Mighty prepared.”

The corner of Hanzo’s mouth tilt up, “A man has his needs.” He pops open the top and squeezes a bit onto his hand. He warms it a bit before he takes them both in hand, gliding his thumb over their heads. Their breathing hitches. “Han,” McCree slips his hands into his hair. Neither man is anywhere near small, McCree is just a bit longer than Hanzo, while Hanzo hangs thicker. McCree leans in close and bites into the muscles of Hanzo’s shoulder a deep, rumbling moan leaks through. Hanzo arches back and cries out in the mix of pain and pleasure. Hanzo sets a punishingly slow rhythm. Lips connect again in a hot embrace, as both men rut into Hanzo’s tight slick tunnel. Each pull sending heat up their spines.

Soon McCree breaks for air. He pulls back to look at Hanzo and briefly looks away. “Can I…?” McCree doesn’t finish because Hanzo takes his fingers and trails them over his puckered hole. McCree exhales and reaches for the lube with his other hand. Hanzo releases him and he crawls down to mouth at his thighs. He coats his fingers with lube and slides them over Hanzo’s entrance.

Hanzo’s sharply inhales from the chill but soon relaxes as McCree presses in the first thick digit. As McCree works him open, he breathes heavily. Each stroke delicious against his walls. McCree trails light nips and suckles over the skin, leaving marks over his thighs. He soon presses in a second finger and begins to scissor in him. McCree presses into the soft tuft of hair around Hanzo’s length and inhales. He trails his tongue over each ball rolling them one at a time. He curves up his fingers and circles that bundle of nerves over and over that leaves Hanzo a sweating, gasping mess.

“Let me hear you,” McCree whispers, he licks up from base to tip and suckles the head. He takes Hanzo in his mouth all the way down, only gagging once. He works in a third digit and spreads experimentally. He pulls off and pants, “I can’t…can I...” he begs.

Hanzo leans up and grabs McCree’s hair pulling him up for an open mouth kiss. He grimaces at the loss of fullness. He nods vigorously and wraps his ankles around McCree’s thighs coaxing him closer.

McCree lines himself up with Hanzo’s slickened hole and presses in. Hanzo savors the stretch. It takes a few patient thrusts for McCree to sink fully into Hanzo.

McCree kisses him, “Tch’ you feel so good, so hot, so tight around me.” He pulls out and back in just a bit; both men breathing heavily.

Hanzo tightens around him, “Get moving.” He smirks.

Without warning, McCree pulls all the way out to the tip and slams back into him, Hanzo claws into his back and curses. McCree looks more than pleased with himself.

McCree sets a fast and deep pace. Each thrust deeper than the last, Hanzo cants his hips up to meet McCree.

Both men quickly building to their end sooner than either would admit.

“I’m close,” Hanzo’s exhales, to that McCree takes a knee in each hand and bends him over almost in half and pounds into him. Each thrust strikes Hanzo’s prostate; it only takes a handful of strokes to send him careening over the edge streaking white over his chest and stomach. As he cums, he constricts around McCree inside him and the man spills inside Hanzo. “Fuck, Hanzo.”

McCree pulls out and falls onto the mattress beside Hanzo his arm resting over Hanzo’s chest. Both bask in the post-coital high.

After some time, McCree grabs his shirt to wipe them both off and lays down into Hanzo’s arms.

****Smut End****

As He slowly drifts off into a peaceful sleep he hears Hanzo whisper in his ear.

“Thank you.”

NOTES

(The song that plays while they are dancing is Martin Garrix Ocean. And the song earlier is The Weeknd’s Call out my name, and Martin Garrix/David Guetta’s So far Away)

(Hanzo’s outfit from after his shower: https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQXCyj74kfv3gaoRQJK7JtAySlna_2WWIlldJMLntddXH4MFtFg

https://gloimg.rowcdn.com/ROSE/pdm-product-pic/Clothing/2016/03/22/source-img/20160322103105_32428.jpg )

(McCree’s outfit: https://smhttp-ssl-33667.nexcesscdn.net/manual/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/loose-style-long-sleeve-denim-shirts-men-washed-vintage-men-s-casual-jean-shirts-summer-lightweight.jpg

http://www.kinnaird-guesthouse.co.uk/images/large/bblnet/ByH2F8uANfccccceeeee_LRG.jpg )

#shifting sands #mchanzo #mchanzo au #hanzo #hanzo shimada #jesse mccree #mccree #smut #my writing

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