the thing about deanbenny is that they were canonically in “a relationship.” like that is REAL CANON DIALOGUE, INDISPUTABLY, labeled as such by Dean himself. and their whole vibe is that they are not only comrades in arms but also 2 grieving widowers finding comfort / camaraderie in each other. Benny loses Andrea, and Dean loses Cas. so while Dean and Benny are not the loves of each others’ lives and they know that, they’re also not platonic either. they may not be in love, but they do love each other, and the natural Forbidden Nature of their untraditional relationship just enhances the queer themes at play.

and the thing is… the way that all of that nuance is made so very clear in canon makes me go bonkers. they did that ON PURPOSE!! season 8 is propelled by multifaceted bi narratives ON PURPOSE!!! AAAAA

and I say “multifaceted” because of course—of COURSE—a big part of deanbenny’s dynamic is that while the love Benny had for Andrea and her humanness becomes reoriented to Dean… simultaneously, the actual love of Dean’s life keeps coming back. or, alternatively: Dean keeps bringing the actual love of his life back through blood, sweat, and tears. on purpose.

it’s all sooooo good it’s so fucking good

I’m obsessed with deanbenny and they were insane for that entire season

i genuinely cant develop this further but simon fucks you so good and so hard and so much (it lasts for many hours) before every mission because hes scared that this is his last time he’ll get to fuck you. it’s all inadvertent when he got you addicted to his cock and his love-making because, to be honest, these sessions are more for him than for you. his grunts and his pleasured rumbles and his dirty talk? theyre not to make you dizzy with pleasure, theyre to make him cum. he gets so lost in his own euphoria that its truly but an added bonus that you cum with him.

he doesn’t tell you this though

Enstars sure is an experience. Did I miss anything?

(32:11) Say, "The angel of death who has been assigned for you will take you in full." ۞ قُلْ يَتَوَفَّىٰكُم مَّلَكُ ٱلْمَوْتِ ٱلَّذِى وُكِّلَ بِكُمْ ثُمَّ إِلَىٰ رَبِّكُمْ تُرْجَعُونَ

Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad

Some magma doodles I did last night :)

the confession scene when dean turns around and his eyes are full of tears and then it cuts and his eyes are clear again what if. what if they fell. and castiel wiped them away

"What do you want?"

KISS x KISS x KISS. ATELIER KISS (2023).

ok so

the instructions were for Wally, not the whrp/qa/You. which is especially interesting, because I think we all assumed they were instructions from Wally - after all, he's the one telling the whrp that they have work to do, he's sending envelopes (assumedly), he's sort of the driving force behind the whole in-universe project. he calls the shots, in a way. he's the one with the phone.

so who the hell is giving Wally instructions?

is it related to the distorted "extra" voice under Wally's in some of his hidden record audios? is it related to Sally's "monster"? is there someone else in Home?

just... there's a whole 'nother layer underneath Wally that i think is really scary. there's something else there, i feel. i Fear. i wonder if Wally is aware of it, or if he isn't quite as aware as we all - including him - like to think. how aware can a puppet be if they can't see their own strings (so to speak)? it's one thing to know what you are, and another entirely to understand what that entails.

i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo

can you even imagine.

Hey, being trans can be hard. be nice to a trans person :)

sometimes i think about how the acotar books could've been a great way to show that "love doesn't heal trauma" rather than whatever points sjm was trying to make about abusive relationships and sa. instead of tamlin being abusive, she could've written that feylin's individual traumas kept them from reaching out to each other. or that feyre felt suffocated by the perfect, idyllic and alive spring court when she felt the opposite on the inside. or that tamlin felt overwhelmed by the sudden influx of responsibilities as he's trying to rid himself of the nightmares from utm. they try to make it work. they try to replicate some of the dates and dances from book #1 but there's an almost tangible shadow over their relationship now. and maybe one day feyre sees a memorial for andras or a likeness to one of the high fae living in the spring court to one of the high fae she killed utm, and has a panic attack. and this serves as the catalyst that severs feylin's relationship and reveals that yes, their love broke a curse, their love saved prythian but it couldn't (and shouldn't) heal them.

ZANZO FANDREG ZANZO FANDREG RAAHHHHH

Am I annoying? /gen /srs

community was such a crazy show. i don’t even mean the wacky concept episodes, i mean the throwaway jokes about how, for example, troy lost to abed in basketball bc he kept getting distracted staring into his “gentle & mysterious” eyes. like what even WAS that

im just thinking about texting osamu wishing him a happy holidays.

he’s your former employer who signed your most recent paystub. you’ve moved on now to better opportunities. onigiri miya closed down for an evening yet still full and warm and bright with employees rejoicing the change in your life and mourning you leaving the team.

and you’re out with your friends. lights have been strung up overnight and the city feels different. it’s lively, beautiful. your friends are hilarious and yet, as you pass by a restaurant that serves nothing remotely close to onigiri, you yearn.

it must be the mop cleaner they use, you reason. that familiar scent is unmistakable.

the night goes on with karaoke and fried goodness and gifts exchanging. you find yourself tucked in the back of a cab close to midnight with your friend’s mouth resting right above your ear, bringing in small snores.

to pass the time, you scroll on your phone through old photos. there’s your friends who’d taken your device captive while you went to the restroom, a selfie of you all in front of a sprinkling fountain. a smile adorns your lips until you scroll too far.

the sight of a thick armed man beside you as you blow out congratulatory candles makes you yearn. it’s cold all too sudden and not even scooting closer to your friend for just a smidgen more of body warmth can soothe you.

and life truly is good. you are so thankful for the fun you’ve had and for the impenetrable routine of changing seasons that you must say something.

you pull up osamu’s contact and the history alone shows your previous relationship. it’s littered with shift requests and warnings on your end that you’re running late. never did it go deeper because that relationship has been established.

but you’ve gained distance and for once, it’s a good thing. his last correspondence was one week ago.

i’ll miss having ya but i know you’re amazing. good luck out there

you take that luck and hope the he responds in kind.

i’m out here and i’m doing great! happy holidays osamu!

read: 12:44 am