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wonwooslibrary · 4 months

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svt as boyfriends ♡ joshua edition

member: joshua x reader genre: established relationship, bullet points word count: 738 summary: joshua's boyfriend things ;) warnings: mentions of food and i think that's it! let me know if i missed anything! author's note: y'all i am almost two whole days late with this oh god it keeps getting worse. i am...very tired haha i've been working a lot to build up some money while i'm not in school so yeah. i lowkey forgot about joshua/taehyung day until i opened twitter and saw people talking abt shua and i was like WAIT THAT IS TODAY anyway moral of the story i'm tired and need a break but here is the joshua fic we've all been waiting for! ily all and enjoy <3

He lowkey gives the vibes of like. The foreign exchange student bf with a relationship with a deadline

He’s the silly bf!!!

He’s also one of the members I see the least as a boyfriend so this is going to be interesting to write…

Quality Time

Mans is a fan of everything fr !!! He absolutely loves spending time with you and your shared group of friends

Loves doing silly little activities with you like making bracelets and painting

He might just be the artsy bf we all want

Joshua loves to go to different places with you like thrift stores, arcades, cafes, literally anything as long as he is with you <3

Loves the feeling of mixing his friend groups - the day you meet his friends aka his brothers he will be imploding with love for everyone

Is the “i get bored easily” bf so y’all gotta be doing like ten different things at once

Will totally ask you to dance or just close your eyes and be with him when a slow song comes on at a party / get together / playing music at home

Words of Affirmation

You totally call him Joshy or Shua and he loves every minute of it bc he thinks it’s cute

“Darling, would you like to get coffee with me tomorrow morning?” SCREECHING

Believes the relationship revolves around pet names (ie. baby, sweetie, darling) he's adorable

Is always proud of you and encouraging!!!

Likes to leave little notes for you around the house. Maybe by your favorite drink in the fridge that reads, “I got these for you. stay hydrated, love”

At the beginning of the relationship he was so formal with you, that it took him saying “I love you” for the first time to relax for five seconds LOL

Physical Touch

Joshua loves handholding ‼️

This man always wants to have some sort of contact with you, whether that be holding hands, linking fingers or rubbing your back

Loves having you sit on his lap or lay your legs across his

His go-to move when you are in public is linking your pinkies together (how cute :3)

Leans on you when he laughs because he cannot sit still

I feel like Joshua would like. move his fingers on your leg in the way of playing piano keys but with guitar if that makes sense? Like where the frets are? Idk

Is also the type to be scared of touching you in front of others until you explicitly tell him that it's okay

Acts of Service

Loves doing the chores for you

“Hey, baby, I'm gonna fill my water bottle. Do you need me to fill yours?”

Or even a, “hey i borrowed your car, but i filled the tank before bringing it back” we love a man who can afford to fill a vehicle’s tank at this point in time

Likes to bring you lunch once or twice a week --- he’ll make it himself and pack it in a cute little bag and everything

Helps you in little ways like folding the laundry or helping you pick out outfits on those days that you struggle to do anything

Is always there for you when literally anything happens. You need someone to help fix your car? He’s on the phone finding a shop. You can’t reach a high shelf or your back hurts too much to bend down to get something from a low cupboard? He’s right there ready to help

Gift Giving

I touched on this a tiny bit earlier but !! handmade jewelry omg he would make matching bracelets for y’all or even a necklace or earrings for you if bracelets interfere with your job

Always buys little trinkets that remind him of you or your relationship

“Hey I found this little glass rose decoration and it reminded me of the time i got you flowers when i asked you out the first time”

HE WILL ALWAYS HAVE THE CUTE SHY SMILE WHEN HE GIVES YOU SOMETHING TOO as if you’ll ever tell him that you dislike something he got for you

He would also love if you gave him gifts too like, “hey joshy I got this little container that can help you keep your beads organized” and he’s melt into a puddle of goo onto your living room floor

Also gets something for you (usually your favorite snack or drink) when you’re especially sad or stressed out - like a super gift instead of his regular daily gifts or something

Idk just know he’s really sweet and enjoys crafting

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scribbledghost · 7 months

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Respite

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader (no y/n)

Rating: G

Word Count: 1,010

Warnings/Tags: third person POV, Really corny jokes, possibly OOC Ghost??? idek, Ghost's love language is acts of service and telling shitty jokes. This is a hill I will die on

Notes: yeah, yeah, I hear you, I've got requests sitting in my inbox (that I promise I'll get to) and here I am writing for a completely different blorbo that also shares my own damn name. Let me have this. Depending on this fic's reception I may write another. Lemme know what y'all think.

He could tell she was angry the moment she walked through the front door. Could feel it before he even saw her face.

A barely-contained, match-lit fuse, dangerously close to an exploding payload filled with shrapnel and black powder. If he’d been anywhere except their shared home, Simon would have wondered why he wasn’t smelling smoke as she walked.

He followed her silently into the kitchen where she deposited her bag and jacket, offering only one quiet word as she mumbled something about a shower and retreated into their shared bedroom.

“Alone?”

She paused. It was a question she had asked him on many occasions. And just like all those times for him, it wasn’t meant as an invitation for something explicit - wasn’t meant as a double entendre or flirtatious means to an end. It was a simple question: did the other party want the asker’s presence, a wall at their back as they stood beneath a rain of hot water. It was an offer of calm, silent company.

“Alone.”

Yeah, she was pissed.

Simon busied himself making dinner while she showered. Something quick, easy, and simple for her to at least get something in her stomach after the day she’d had. If he knew her like he thought he did, he doubted she’d eaten much (if at all) that day anyway. Part of him hoped that between a meal and a shower, her fuse would extinguish at least enough to clue him in on what was going on.

She took her time. Much like him, she showered to separate herself from work. “Washing the day off”, she called it. He knew the longer she was under the water, the more she felt the need to wash away. And today, she was there for a good, long while. Long enough for her to grumble about the water getting cold when she emerged again.

“Dinner, love.”

“Not hungry,” she said as she walked past him towards the living room.

He followed her, gently placing his hands on her arms as he brought her back to his chest.

“When’s the last time you ate?”

She sighed, and he knew he had her pinned.

“Yesterday.”

“Gotta eat, love,” he said softly. “You’ll feel better. Already made it, all y’gotta do is eat.”

Another sigh.

“Go. Sit. I’ll bring you a plate,” he said as he released her with a light pat to her hip.

She did as he asked without complaint, and as he brought her food to her and sat next to her on the couch, he carefully logged her body language. Leg bouncing, hand pinching the bridge of her nose, head leaned back, a deep breath in through her nose and out through her mouth.

Dinner was a quiet affair, only the low sound of the television in the background breaking up the silence. Once they were finished, Simon took her plate and his back into the kitchen, then returned to his spot on the couch with an arm stretched across the back behind her head.

“Long day, pet?”

At first, he only received an affirmative grunt in response. He gave her time, gave her space to fill if she wanted to elaborate.

“Boss is driving me up a fucking wall,” she finally started. “Got too much on her plate and can’t keep up. I want to help, but I’m stuck doing two jobs as it is. Don’t have the time to take on any extra. So I sit and struggle to get through my own shit while she’s in her office bitching and moaning about ‘I can’t find this’ or ‘I don’t understand that’ and I have to listen to it. And all that’s on top of everything else going on that’s not work related. Feel like I’m getting pulled in a thousand different directions. Got a fucking headache, Simon.”

At some point during her rant, Simon’s hand had drifted down and he had begun to rub a thumb along the back of her neck.

“I’m not even getting decent sleep,” she mumbled.

“I know.”

By now, the tension had left her. Seeped from her lungs and drifted down through the carpet. All that was left was exhaustion.

“I feel bad for complaining,” she finally admitted. “It’s not like I’m getting shot at on the daily like… other jobs.”

“No,” Simon agreed, “but that doesn’t mean you can’t complain.”

She didn’t believe him. He knew she didn’t. In her mind, she was whining about office politics and a busy schedule to a man who was on leave from a job where being on the business end of a pack of explosives was a near daily risk. He knew from vast experience that there was little he could do to dissuade her on that front. So trying to cheer her up by affirming her need to vent was out of the question.

Simon was a man of many means, however.

“What do you call a pile of cats?”

She gave him a weary stare.

“...What.”

“A meowntain.”

Then, he caught it. Before she could hide it, a quirk of her lips, a grin that spread before her sour mood could dampen it.

“That was awful, Simon.”

“Another?”

She paused. Then she let a soft smile grace her features.

“...Yeah.”

“How do you count cows?”

“Uh… one, two, three, four?”

“No, with a cow-culator.”

This time, he received an approximation of a laugh from her. A puff of air through her nose, accompanied by a good-natured shake of her head.

“That one was even worse.”

“Made you smile though.”

She shifted closer to him, brought a hand up to his face, and pulled his face to her as she pressed her lips to his cheek in a gentle kiss.

“Yeah,” she murmured against his skin, “you did.”

Simon turned his head to nudge his forehead against hers as he closed his eyes. A quiet moment after a hurricane, a giving of permission to let go after holding on against the waves all day.

Tomorrow would be better. He’d make sure of it.

#simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost x reader #ghost cod #ghost mw2 #idfk what tags to use so hopefully that's good enough #ghost scribbles

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wrotelovelytears · 6 months

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They stare cause they know

IT Girl from ATL

👀Honestly I'm grateful for this Saturn in Pisces transit. I've learned so much about myself and the world around me from isolation. I'm not going to lie and say it's been easy because my mental health has taken various directions and without this time completely alone, I would never have the personal understanding I do now.

‍💀This transit has been about learning to be alone and what it means to be oneself. I see this as a preparation for the Saturn in Aries transit which entails taking those lessons learned and helping others with it through leadership. And I will be starting my Saturn return then too

👀I've noticed as we get closer and closer to Neptune in Aries the world gets more and more... Violent. Like there's no other word to describe it but just pure malice floating in the air. While I could use only astrology to explain it, I'm not going to pretend like there's no big social things that happened that are also making the world this way. Ever since the beginning of the pandemic human behavior has taken a turn for the worse. Add in "forced" isolation from the masses and you get a world ripe for conflict. Yes Neptune is about illusions and honestly it shifting to a more active sign, yeah we might just have to take that L collectively.

👀 I also peeped we will have Aries ruling Neptune, the North Node and Saturn all at the same time at some point. Not saying the world gonna end or nothing, just saying prepare to see more of the current things you see.

👀 So are we gonna talk about how everyone was going the Age of Aquarius is gonna push society forward in good ways just to end up having degenerate behavior become the norm. I understand that Aquarius is the sign of change and "futurism" and it also is the sign of headassery individuality to extremes. Aries is more about individuals leading (ie group work) while Aquarius is more individuality rediscovered and using that to lead (being yourself and that making change). Unless we all course correct this newfound sense of hyper individuality the world is gonna get worse.

Y'all my sons

👀Since my solar return is coming up (this may or may not be posted around or on it), I want to reflect on my past solar return chart. (I will be using whole sign and sidereal chart as a heads up if your wondering why certain planets are in certain signs)

‍💀This time last year I was working two jobs at once, two separate times, I'm blaming my first house mars. Like I have never in my life made a decision so short sighted and yet I managed it because not only is my mars in my first house but Taurus as well. I'm stubborn already but when I was told it was impossible to do both, yeah I doubled down.

🤭That Taurus Mars also made me very conscious about my appearance and how I see myself. This wasn't a negative thing however, I've done so many things to change my appearance to fit the version of me I think is best. Including getting various piercings, doing another big chop (also didn't want long hair no more), buying clothes that made me feel attractive and saying more affirmations in the mirror. The biggest change (that I had little to do with) was finally achieving my body goals. With it being in a 29 degree, I believe this is almost certainly my final form.

‍💀I find it funny how my Moon is in the 22° (which is also the natal degree it's in) and in Cancer because when I tell you I fucking cried all the time and for everything. I did. I know I'm naturally very sensitive but it's like someone turned the dial up and broke it. This has led me to happy tears as well. I also did emotional eat a lot or vice versa. I think combining this with Taurus Mars did make me a little more suspectable to food and emotion related ups and downs.

🤭I also made a lot of progress in therapy due to just wanting to finally process and get over certain shit. I'm going to say the third house holding it is what made me more willing to talk. However this also led to me randomly remembering some tragic thing that happened to me at some random ass time and going "wow, that's kinda fucked... Whomp whomp".

‍💀The crazy thing about this entire transit year is starting it off with a head injury that's kinda led to some long-term neurological issues. Literally didn't even get a day into the year and got the shit knocked out of me because Aries wanted to chill in the 12th house.

🤭Even though I had to stop working due to multiple head and neurological injuries, I at least learned what jobs, bosses, and work environments I do and don't like. I also learned how to easily see when someone is not in my corner and rather be headstrong then correct.

‍💀My MC happened to be in Capricorn that year and yeah, I definitely worked my ass off. I wanted to focus on longevity and stability. That's honestly been my theme this year (and moving forward). That did mean I might've let my relationships struggle because I was working and constantly outside.

‍💀Back to appearance (let me be vain in peace), my Sun and Aphrodite transiting the 6th house probably played a big role in why appearance was so important to me. Having them being in Libra made it just double down.

💀As I am editing this I also have my Ascendant in the 6°, I already said my current sixth house is ruled by Libra so yeah. Being hot n sexy was my goal this year. I achieved cute and "uwu" in the end tho.

‍💀This has honestly been the first year (since I was like... 12) that I haven't had any type of romantic relationship, I think this leads back to Saturn being in Pisces mostly. I also think it's me having a Scorpio Venus (which happens in my natal chart) but in the seventh house. See that's squares my natal Venus despite being in the same sign. {Actually my whole chart this year squares my natal but that's not the topic at hand.} I honestly didn't know what to do in the beginning of the year, I wanted a relationship and understood how important they are to me (sorry I'm a romantic at heart, I love love and being in love. Transiting the seventh duhh) AND I did almost no work to seek one out partially due to things I had to work out from my past (there's that pesky Scorpio in me popping up). Anytime I was approached for a romantic partnership I automatically questioned the person's intent and if it was self fulfilling prophecy or my intuition being OP, I never had anything pan out. In the beginning that annoyed me and I realized one I wasn't done doing work on my lack of trust in people, two seventh house rules open enemies and them people did not have my best interest at heart.

‍💀My Jupiter was in retrograde which could've played a part in why I dropped most of the spiritual aspects of my life and tried to raw dog it. That was a terrible idea, I ain't never felt so lost before lmao. While I could have religious talks, the spiritual aspect was lacking. It was like belief without practice for me and that's not really believing. As the year is coming to a close I've been getting more "lucky" and spiritual again. I had to learn that certain aspects of my life just work and others don't. And that my definition of my religious beliefs are vastly different than what others of my faith might be.

🤭All in all I learned the lesson of the importance of individuality within community. Not community without individuality. Or individuality before community.

‍💀Another reason for my struggle with religion, spirituality and all that was Saturn being in my 9th house. My will to continue higher education and be involved in anything literally besides work was gone. Now my life long dream has been multiple PhDs but when I tell you I avoided any conversation around finishing my first degree, one PhD was looking real unattainable.

‍💀Saturn really beat my ass this year as it was also the ruler of current profection. Hopefully my luck will truly change (in literally every aspect of life at this point) by the time my Jupiter year comes around.

‍💀Another note about my third house Moon, I fell back in love with the things of my childhood. That included gaming, socializing (on my own accord), "weird core" related things like the backrooms and analog horror and so on. The moon transiting certain houses can honestly unlock new (or old) things about you that bring comfort.

‍💀I'm a fixed Dom in my natal chart so being a Cardinal Dom for a year has been very exhausting. I'm used to finishing and quickly learning things. The way I was constantly tested this year had me always on edge. I think it is a good thing however because even though I did end quiet a few things, I also picked (back) up even more things. This has been a year of change without bounds (thanks Aries Uranus ), change that was honestly needed.

‍💀My chart is also pretty evenly distributed. Like I wasn't lacking fire, earth, water or air which explain why change was whooping my water Dom ass. Yes I know water ain't still (even ice isn't unless absolutely 0), and damn how do the fire and air people live like this? I could barely take a break to process anything. I had to process on the move and always be on it.

🤭I'm hoping next year it's more relaxed and stable, I can't handle all this change and movement.

‍💀Funny how my PoF was in Leo fourth and I worked with kids. It was beyond rewarding because I witnessed everything from first steps and words to the start of public (or private) school.

🤭Ceres might have also played a role in how invested I was in my jobs and the children I worked with. However my ovaries might have been on one because I started wanting to have a baby myself and that really isn't a good decision at the moment.

🤭Ceres also might have helped me connect more with my own mother as well which surprised quite a few people but I'd say it's been worth it. Learning how to mother myself has been greatly useful and even helpful with understanding my own.

‍💀This year I found out that I'm Chinese, Japanese and Peruvian, through DNA testing (again). And while doing so caused both my parents to have an identity crisis, I knew of my Asian heritage and somewhat of an Indigenous one as well. Problem is the countries were all wrong from family stories. (At the end of the day I'm still Black, that hasn't changed at all). I find it unironic China and Tokyo conjunction in my 8th house while Inca (what I used as a Peru substitute) chills in my third (almost second). To further that China and Tokio trine my Ceres and yes it is my mom that's half Chinese Japanese (and Vietnamese but couldn't find nothing for Vietnam, we taking what we get). And Inca trine my Jupiter (which I personally associate with my Father because he's a Pisces). My parents on the other hand hate this news because it did bring up old things they wanted to bury in their past (8th house coming through). My only lasting question is how the hell-

💀See I had a strange aversion to taking pictures of myself and even moreso posting the ones I did take. Turns out my Photographica was conjunction my Saturn and opps with my Moon. Anytime I'd take a picture I'd automatically feel disgusted with it despite feeling "pretty". Self image has been difficult this year, despite a lot of improvement.

Asteroids mentioned: Ceres(4)(ur mom) , Photographica(443), Aphrodite(1388), China(1125), Inca(8275), Tokio(498)

This my first actual post in idk how long. This year was.. A lot for me on a personal and societal level. While astrology may not be my source of a ton of dopamine anymore, it's still an interest to me. There's so much organizing I have to do with this page, so please be patient with me as I try to get back into the swing of things.

(If you learned something new or would just like to support me you can leave a wittle tip via the tip button or one of the links in my masterlist. Kofi: nymphdreams🧸)

#astro tumblr #astroblr #astrology #astro notes #astro observations #asteroid astrology #solar return #nymph writes astrology #its been a while #saturn #Aquarius

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harlivycentral · 17 days

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Also can I just say I looooove Howard's Harley Quinn run so much 😭 From the beginning, Howard's run has brought back elements of Harley's character that I love and had missed. I loved the way her first issue leaned into the looney-tunes-esque element of Harley, the way we saw her pull out her big hammer again, the way Bud & Lou were back, the way it at once illustrated her tendency toward criminal mischief and her PhD credentials, etc. This most recent issue (#38) feels like it just cements everything I've loved about Howard's run, which is that she has obvious respect and love for all the iterations of Harley that came before and has used them to create a Harley run that is distinctly her own at the same time. Seeing the panel with all of her friends from various runs gathered for her birthday party made me so emotional--it really felt like not only a fun way to honor the history of the character but also to affirm how many people (in-universe and in her readership) love her!

I loved how Howard brought back Carmen & Bonny, mentioned their "sleepover days," and made them explicitly lesbian. Since the beginning, Harley's had this tongue-in-cheek gay undertone to her character, and revisiting a story line from her first solo run that felt soooo gay while being so not felt like a fun way to nod to that history; making Carmen & Bonny explicitly lesbian felt like a celebration of the fact that we don't have to dwell in subtext for Harley anymore!

I've really loved the way Harley & Ivy have been written in Howard's run. Obviously I think the breakup storyline in Phillips' run was probably more editorial than her own choice, but it's been so satisfying to finally settle into Ivy & Harley FINALLY being a canonical couple AND not instantly broken up. I've really enjoyed the way Howard has explored their relationship and at once explored the way Harley's past with Joker still impacts her while also showing that it doesn't define her. (As a side note, I think a lot of the Harlivy content in the Harley: Black & White & Redder series did an amazing job of exploring that too <3)

I really liked the conversation Ivy & Harley had about the whole concept of "hero vs villain" not making sense to them. I think that's been a pretty clear stance of Howard's since the start of her run, but it's nice to see her have FUN with the character, and I'm excited to see Harley hopefully unleash a bit in the next few issues. It's been fun to have her mallet and hyenas back, and now to have the return of her iconic original costume! Again, I feel like Howard has a real sense of balance in writing this plotline: it's clear that we're not going back to the same emotional place that Harley was in when she first went around in her jester suit with a big mallet and a couple of hyenas, and I'm sure we'll see her out of the suit/continuing to explore teaching as well/etc. I like that we get PARTS of Kessel & Doddson's run mixed in with others. I like that Howard also brought Kevin back in a significant role for the conclusion of this last arc, and I was so right to make this post honestly at the beginning of her run--I think she has expanded on the emotional kernels in Palmiotti & Conner's run.

Idk, Harley has just meant a lot to me personally, and I remember reading her comics not so long ago when it felt like so much of what I loved about her had to remain subtext, or was spread out disparately over so many different runs. I just love love love to see it all being so loving solidified and explored in this run! And it's FUN to read! And the art is pretty! I honestly got emotional reading issues 37 & 38 because Harley feels very much like a Real Person to me in a way that few other fictional characters do, and these past few issues have really honored all of that growth and complexity that used to feel more weaved together by fans! Love love love Harley and also y'all xoxo

#Harley Quinn #Harley Quinn 30 #honestly just came on here to ramble about all my feelings about the ongoing comics tonight apparently #would love to hear anyone's thoughts if ya wanna gab back via the inbox or dms etc #i keep gaining followers while i'm not posting but i'm not sure which of you are real blogs versus bots lol hiiiiiii

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nowmemoriees · 2 years

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HOPPER'S LETTER × BYLER

- season 3 finale analysis

Now that y'all are bringing up Hopper's letter again, it's time to reinforce byler coding affirmations here.

We know there are some parts of this letter that are related to Mike's feelings, and part of this has already been pointed out before season 4. But this new season made this make much more sense.

- "Feelings.... Jesus, the truth is, for so long I've forgotten what those even were."

- "Lately, I guess I've been feeling.. distant from you. Like you're pulling away from me or something."

Season 4 perfectly demonstrates this is about Mike's feelings about Will. First of all, at the end of season 3, Eleven said "I love you" to him, so how could Mike think she was pulling away from him?.

But then we remember he had a fight with Will, a fight he could never apologize for, a fight that messed up all of those years they've spent together.

"Listen, the truth is the last.... year, has been weird. Max, and Lucas and Dustin, they're great. It's just, it's Hawkins, it's not the same without you".

That's why Mike says "the last year." because they haven't seen each other for 6 months, but Mike already felt he was losing Will even before that. When he was dating El.

Season 4 starts and Mike finds out (through another letter 👀) that Will may like someone else and is painting for someone else. Mike tried to call Will so many times, but Will never picked up the calls, so Mike thought he had already lost Will.

"I feel like I lost you or something."

Then we keep listening to Hopper's letter.

- "I miss playing board games every night"

The focus is now on the abandoned cabin. In season 3, Mike and Will's fight was because of this. Missing playing board games. Of course is something deeper than that. -Missing doing the things you love with the one you love, as it used to be.-

In season 4, we saw that Mike joined a DnD club. He was doing what he loved again, but not with the one he loved. Lucas and Dustin were great, but it was not the same without Will.

And Will also says something about this.

"We could play DnD and Nintendo for the rest of our lives". He still wants to spend the rest of his life playing with Mike. Nothing has changed.

We are shown the abandoned cabin as the letter voiceover keeps going. It looks exactly how we see it again in season 4... with Mike and Will in there, having their last heart-to-heart until the catastrophe starts again.

- "I know you're getting older, growing...

...changing" (and the focus is on Mike again)

"I guess, if I'm being really honest, that's whats scares me....

Here we have the demonstration that Mike was thinking about Will. He was looking at HIS house. Otherwise, he could have gone through hopper's cabin. but he didn't.

... I don't want things to change."

- "So I think that's why I came in here. To try to maybe.. stop that change. To turn back the clock, to make things go back at how they were."

And this is the confirmation. This scene perfectly parallels the scene in season 1 where Mike thought Will was d3ad.

In both scenes Mike believed he lost Will.

So, Hopper's letter hinted Mike's feelings towards Will and it explains Mike's behavior in season 4. But people still believe that Mike could not be bi/gay because that idea came out from no where? sureee....

#stranger things #byler #st4 #mike wheeler #byler is endgame #theories analysis

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arcplaysgames · 1 year

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Breakin' the hearts of middle-aged cruise-loving housewives, Sojiro? I'm willing to walk but I guess you wanna linger around and remind me what a bad dude I am.

Reverie, we might need to speedrun the transformation from Quiet, Chill Dude to Absolute Fucking Menace out of spite. Fuck being a law-abiding citizen, i want to get a can of gasoline and set this dude's desk on fire.

squints

That's my student ID and what. She seemed kind of verklempt about it so I assume something risque.

Man, that'd just be the way of it, right? Everyone here giving Reverie shit for his trumped up charges and my teacher is doing something illicit on the side.

Bruh, this is less cold shoulder and more shoving my head into the arctic ocean. In my last life, I met a girl and within three minutes she'd kicked one of my classmates in the balls, and I feel like that'd be a warmer welcome than y'all been givin'.

One: I like actually seeing a portrait of our guy, it actually helps me feel like I know this sad sack.

Two: Why does every single thing I hear about this feel like Reverie is being set up for even more fall-guy-ification? Who the fuck asked you, Sojiro, and who the fuck paid you, and was it a guy with an enormous nose and voice like thunder echoing in a canyon?

Plot shit is happening. There are a lot of weird accidents around the city. Violent ones. It feels like something goopy is comin' out of the victims. Is that shadow goop or other goop? Time will tell.

Hey its our Seeker of Andraste, Sae, watching the news of the derailment. Apparently she thinks the weird incidents are connected. Which already means she Knows To Much and I bet her superiors will try to betray her later.

Also, THAT'S Akechi right? He looks like a beige origami towel decided to go to school, but Sae talks to him like he's knowledgeable. Naoto 2.0, This Time Not Hot?

Sojiro calls up the cafe to tell Reverie to lock up and turn the sign, and has this gemstone.

Dojima, hey, I'm sorry for comparing you to this guy earlier. Yeah, sorry about that, you didn't deserve it.

It's like trying to uninstall bloatware and it getting re-added every time you do a fucking security update, Motorola.

Sojiro does make us curry for breakfast, which would be thoughtful if I wasn't convinced he'd put us out on the street for vaping.

Also I love curry but curry for breakfast? I'm good, thanks.

YOUR PAL ARCHIE IS OFF TO A GREAT START. god this game doesn't give me a fast travel menu, I am Fucked.

Out in the rain, we spot a future party member. Her hair is incredible, look at that volume. Reverie stares for a while and I think he's just Super Awkward. Like, I've glimpsed Reverie The Cool Thief Guy in the opening sequence. It's like there's a Clark Kent thing going on here, where normal Reverie is such a Awkward Turtle you cannot imagine him as Sly Cooper.

... wait is she Moot? hey, girl, are you Moot?

fucking Evil Patrick Warburton drives by and offers Moot a ride in the rain. He also offers Reverie, and Reverie gives

THE MOST AWKWARD LITTLE WAVE

like oh honey. I'm trying to nail down his personality and so far I think it's I Got Audio Processing Issues And Rather Than Asking Everyone To Repeat Themselves I Just Make Affirming Noises And Wave. Boy howdy.

Oh and Moot looks about as thrilled to be in that car as I would be thrilled to sit on a knife. So this Kamoshida guy is not a safe dude I presume. Sorry, Moot, next time I'll come up with an excuse to get you outta there.

Already met another party member! Also, WOW your bleach job is AMAZING? Look at that texture you have, look at the fullness of the color. What are you using, bro, is that Ion Sensitive Scalp, I find that one is great for aggressive lightening without making shit feel like straw. What's your conditioner?

Also, king of the castle, huh. Given what's about to happen, that's an interesting 'coincidence.'

Then the story jumps back to the Framing Device all of a sudden.

"Psychotic breakdown incidents" wow, could you guys not come up with something that rolls off the tongue, like Apathy Syndrome?

Was Reverie ordinary, idk man, what do you think happens when you hear "hey you fucking suck and will be homeless if you so much as smoke a single solitary weed" 7 times a day?

I bet Reverie could use a weed tbh.

#p5 #persona liveblog

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pampulonad · 10 months

Note

AGHSNAHANWAGAANAHSNA IM SO NORMAL ABOUT YOUR REPLY TO MY ASK,, @^@""""""""""""

also.. yesterday I spent 4. hours hard (/gender neutral) as fuuuuuuc b/c I ate ice cream + applesauce + fiber gummies + multiple glasses of water + fuit gummi (later in) and it made my belly SO. FUCKING. BIG AND ROOOOUND HOLY SHIT I FELT SO SO SO SEXY,,, I took SOOOOO many pictures of myself in tight clothes, different angles and some mirror pics, and I took some like progression photos ? and I am o b s e s s e d with swiping through them and seeing my belly bloat up bigger and bigger and oh my godddd. my belly was just fucking BULGING and felt sooo HEAVY and FULL and in the pics you can see the band of my lower belly puff up bigger and bigger and,,

hHHH I fucking groped and fondled and grabbed at my teenie littl belly roll and hips and thighs and ass for HOURS and I felt so fucking hot holy shittt I am actually in love with my own body bro I cannot lie ;; I've been trying passively lol to put a little weight on for the past few years, since (a) processing that I was underweight and (b) accepting that I am more attracted to big squishy bodies, b/c I realized I wanted a bigger squishier body

but yeah my tummy is still so so smol but I love it SOOOOOOOOO SO MUCH and I kept moaning that I have the sexiest tummy alive and moaning about my yummy roll(s) and squish and @~@"""""""" moaning that I'm so in love with my body as I made love to it and !!!!!! 🏳️‍⚧️ pleasure and self-intimacy (emotional and physical and sexual and mental and textual and medical and) ftw-

oghF and I haven't even gotten to how sloshy i was,, and later on that band of my lower belly got sooo gurgly~ and I recorded its grumbles and t-o-u-c-h-e-d-m-y-s-e-l-f to the playback and nngh..

and yeah this all took place over 5-6 hours @_@""

mMphhhhhhfUCK I am HORNIEE all over again for how fucking full I felt and how fucking sexy I was and the audio I captured and holy fuckkk I forgor to mention I recorded myself c-u-m-m-i-n-g for the first time (have never captured that before) and it is m e s m e r i z i n g ,, ? ?? I've never actually seen or heard what I'm like when I c-u-m and umhh.. to put it simply itttt VALIDATES the data is collected for 4 hours leading up to it so to summarize the results: in conclusion i am SOOOOOOOOO fucking sexyy,,,, I literally g-o-t off AGAIN to the video of me c-u-m-m-i-n-g in which I ram my fingers into my stomach to make my belly slosh all heavy and =@~@=""" in sync with myself just 30 minutes after..

but umhhh yea I wanted to share,,,, @~@""" I am still thinking about it and sweating profusely-

,.. ps I had some post c-o-i-t-a-l dysphoria afterward that I just distracted from eventually, but y'all got any advice or resources for handling that post-nut clarity? for me i know it's goin to involve some self acceptance, this is my kink and this is what I g-e-t-o-f-f to... i did some soothing affirmative self-talk that it's okay this is what I like and it's okay for me to love myself like this but. yeah if you or anyone has some words of wisdom I'd. take them

~ 💚💛

being comfortable with and loving your body? we love that here. i can confidently say that even with my intense voice dysphoria i still really find myself flushing hard at audios of myself when i jack off.

it’s poetic in a way to know how you sound during such an intimate moment because once you’re able to think and hear it for yourself, it feels so. idk? sexy???? mesmerizing as you put it

also for the last part: if you’re talking like “oh god i got off to this thing” i mostly just go “what the hell. everyone’s got weird shit they get off to and it ain’t right to be shaming others so why shame myself? bit of a double standard buddy” and then move on to whatever i want to do.

i don’t really bathe in the afterglow because my brain is quick to get distracted. the best i can say for handling it is that you are your own worst critic… just fuck yourself safely LOL

#anon saplings #sprite anon!#stomach kink #belly kink

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dogmomwrites · 2 years

Text

Incorrect Quotes Tag

There's a new game for writers floating around, and I got tagged to join in! I'm so honored y'all wanna see my stupid characters in this lol Thanks so much for the tags, @smzeszikorova, @blind-the-winds, @saltysupercomputer, @elijahrichardwrites, and @andromedatalksaboutstuff!

Since I had so many tags for this, I'm gonna do a lot of quotes so

⚠️ long post! ⚠️

(It's really long guys I got carried away i'm sorry)

I'll also be soft tagging @houndsofcorduff, @fearofahumanplanet, @bardic-tales, @penspiration-writing, @ghost-town-story, and and anyone else who wants to play to use this generator and join the fun!

Jimmy: I am in charge of this disaster! Luke: I have a name, you know.

Jimmy: Let me copy your homework. Steph: I was gonna copy yours. Jimmy: Well, shit. Steph: Guess I'm not doing it.

Steph: What are your three best qualities? Jess: I’m hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends.

Riley: I'm going to ask you to be respectful. Luke: I will politely decline.

Thomas: Don't ask me what I'm talking about. I don't know, okay? I'm just the vessel. The message has been gifted. I've moved on.

Riley: You’re drunk. Jimmy: Correction: drinking. Present tense. Grammar, Riley.

Jess: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon. Luke: Spear. Jess: BLOCKED.

Jess: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.

Jimmy: Don’t worry, I have a permit. Luke: ...This just says “I can do what I want”.

Luke: Well Jimmy, I have to say, I'm really disappointed. Jimmy: Well, you didn't HAVE to say it. You could've just thought it

Thomas: *eating a cinnamon roll* Aaron: Cannibalism. Thomas: *confused chewing noises* (This one is especially funny to me as Thomas really is a cinnamon roll)

Jonathan: I dare you- Thomas: Jess is not allowed to accept dares anymore. Jonathan: Why not? Jess: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say.

Jonathan: Thought I was meowing back at my cat for the past hour, but it was just me and Luke meowing at each other from different rooms in the house.

Luke: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.

Thomas: Jimmy... Jimmy: I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are disappointed. Alas, I must further disappoint you by affirming how little I give a fuck.

Jimmy: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong? Jess: Strong. Thomas: Weak. Jonathan: An idiot, is what you are.

Aaron: I’m not a doctor I’m a medic. Riley: What’s the difference then? Aaron: Well doctors actually save lives, medics just make you feel more comfortable as you die. Luke: Note to self; never get shot.

Jess, tearing up the room: Where are they? Jess, looking under a pillow: Who moved them? Who moved my children? Jess: Somebody moved my M&M's, and now I am going to start killing.

Steph: *standing on a balcony and sneezes* Jimmy: *standing on the roof* Bless you. Steph: God?!

Aaron: Are you having another depressive episode? Luke: A depressive episode? Luke: I'm having a depressive series and we're just on season one.

Steph: I could kill you if I wanted. Jonathan: Yeah? So could any other human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren't special.

Aaron: What’s your favorite color? Thomas: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something logical and mature. Aaron: How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP? Thomas: My favorite color is pink.

Jonathan: Do you think different paints have different tastes? Steph: They do. Thomas: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

Thomas: It was difficult, so you’ve just given up. You might fail, so why bother trying? Luke: Exactly. Luke, to Jess: I told you they’d understand.

Steph: *pitches an idea* Jimmy, impressed: Huh, there might be something here! Thomas, under their breath: Yeah, a lawsuit.

Jess, setting down a card: Ace of spades. Luke, pulling out an Uno card: +4. Jonathan, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you! Aaron, trembling: What are we playing?!

Steph: What time is it? Jimmy: I don’t know, pass me that saxaphone and we’ll find out Jimmy *BLASTS the saxaphone* Riley: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXAPHONE AT TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING Jimmy: It’s 2 am

Jess: And what do I get out of this? Jonathan: I will give you a dollar. Jess: What do you think I am? A chump? I would never do it for a dollar! Jonathan: How bout two dollars? Jess: You got yourself a deal.

Tried a couple with Avalanche in the mix and this was the first lmao

Jimmy: It’s time to turn this into a real business. Riley: What do you mean? Like, carry a briefcase, and wear a tie, and pay taxes? Aaron: Wait, have you not been paying your taxes? Avalanche: I handle our accounting.

Avalanche: What do you want then? Jimmy: Er… something work related. Avalanche: What department is this? Jimmy: Sorry? Avalanche: Well, if it’s work related you’d obviously know what department this is. What department is this? Avalanche: *looks at Aaron* Some sort of homosexual department?

Avalanche & Jimmy in the back of Riley's car: MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! Aaron: We have food at home. Riley: *pulls into the McDonald's drivethrough* Avalanche & Jimmy: YAYYYYYY! Riley: *orders one black coffee and leaves*

Riley: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?? Avalanche: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔 Aaron: Why were you microwaving a lemon??? Avalanche: I read boiling lemons helps cover up up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots. Riley: Did you burn an orange too? How??? Avalanche: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

*Riley drunkenly wanders around the house and Jimmy is drunkenly giggling* Aaron, completely sober: *sighs* Well, looks like it's just me and you against the wold, Avalanche. Avalanche, going to their room: Nope, just you. *shuts door*

Jimmy: What’s up with Avalanche? They’ve been laying on the floor for like….an hour now? Aaron: They're just a little overwhelmed. Jimmy: Why? Aaron: Riley smiled at them.

Jimmy: Blue M&Ms are the best. Riley: whAT IS THIS SLANDER? Jimmy: What about it? They are. Riley: I WILL NOT ALLOW SUCH LIES ON MY CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER! Riley: THE RED ONES ARE THE BEST! Jimmy: YEAH? WELL YOUR MOM'S A HO! Avalanche: They're all chocolate inside, the colors don't mean anything. Aaron: I like the yellow ones. Jimmy and Riley: SHUT THE FUCK YOUR MOUTH! (okay but Riley and Jimmy would definitely be dumb enough to argue over m&m colors)

Riley, teaching Jimmy to drive: Okay, you're driving and Avalanche and Aaron walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit? Jimmy: Oh, definitely Aaron. I could never hurt Avalanche. Riley, massaging their temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.

Switching over to Castle characters!

Aero: Why did you leave Wrestlemania on for the cats? Saben: They need to learn how to protect us.

Nuka: Hey, McKenna you're smart, tell me what would happen if I chugged 3 gallons of chloroform. McKenna: Have you ever been to a mortuary? Nuka: Yea, my grandma lives there. Arial: That is the worst response to that question.

Nuka: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff. Arial: I witnessed the dumb stuff. Aero: I recorded the dumb stuff. McKenna: I joined you in the dumb stuff. Saben: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

Saben: Are you listening to me? Aero: *nods* Saben: What did I just say? Saben: *nods* Saben: ...

Seen: *slowly pushes a cannon into a 17th century bank* Okay everyone, be cool. This is a robbery.

Raavi What do you call disobeying the law? The Squad: A hobby. Raavi: *crosses their arms* The Squad: That we do not engage in.

Chase: Relationships should be 50/50. Mickey cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty. (they're not in a relationship but ig it slipped through and i'm leaving it cuz it's funny)

Ryder: And I’d love to be sorry for that, but we all know I’ve done much, much worse.

Blue: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve. Raavi: I think you mean cards. Mickey: They did not. Blue, pulling out knives: I did not.

Seen: Why shouldn't you put a toaster in a bathtub full of water? Blue: Because your toast would get soggy!

Lukalt, working at McDonald's: Sorry sir, we don't serve a McFuck here, so either you throw that one slice of pickle out or we're gonna have a McProblem.

Neal: How did none of you hear what I just said?! Raavi: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Lukalt: I got distracted halfway through. Hank: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Seen: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "thank you" is all I need. Seen: Not all this "how did you get into my house" business.

Hank: *sharpens knife* We've got ways of making people talk. Hank: *cuts piece of cake* Ryder: ...Can I have some? Hank: Cake is for talkers

Hank: How long do you think it'll take? Chase: I don’t know, three or four. Hank: Three or four what? Days? Weeks? Months? Chase: Yeah, maybe five. Hank: Five what?!

Raavi: If I stay in bed I'll be warm. If I get in the shower, I'll also be warm. But the distance between the bed and shower? No. That is not warm.

Ryder: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it. Ryder: And I started thinking. Ryder: Like, it was just trying to get food. Ryder: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck? Seen: Are you ok?

Seen: Well, needless to say. Uh-oh Spaghetti-os.

Lukalt: It’s nice to be wanted, you know? Blue: Not by the law!

Lukalt: Everything’s fine, Raavi. Raavi: Lukalt, I know your relationship with the english language is strictly casual, but you- I- *deep inhale* ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU WHAT’S NOT FINE.

Raavi: My expectations were low but holy fuck.

Mickey: You use humor to deflect your trauma. Lukalt: Awww, thanks- Mickey: That’s not a good thing. Lukalt: All I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny.

Blue: I warned you. Blue: I'm perfect.

#writer games #tag game #tag games #incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes tag

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the-writing-mobster · 2 years

Text

So... This is a fucking rare pair and a half but...

They're kinda... They kinda have chemistry in “You're What I Want” — y'all... NO! HEAR ME OUT!!!!

HEAR ME OUT!!!!!!!

—

“Oh, what do you know about what I'm dealing with, Undyne?” he spat back before storming out from the room and groaning into his hand.

Asriel trailed out, closing the door softly behind him and frowning at the sight of Papyrus, standing, shoulders slumped, before him. “The great and terrible Papyrus never has bad posture,” he teased half-heartedly.

Maybe hoping Papyrus would be good company was over estimating how stable he was compared to himself. Papyrus was dealing with so much… but maybe that would make it all the easier.

Papyrus grunted and straightened his spine, clearing his throat awkwardly before turning back around and narrowing his sockets at the porcelain form of Asriel Dreemur.

“And what do you have to say about all this?” Asriel shrugged. He yawned and stretched his wings and arms out. He wasn't going to lie. There was no point in lying to Papyrus. What would he do? Nothing. There was nothing Papyrus could do, nothing he could say, that would hurt Asriel anymore than his instability already hurt him.

“That I'm, quite frankly, tired. Of all of this. I've never felt a more kindred spirit with Frisk until now. You would think with all the power granted to me by the seven souls that I'd just be filled with energy but… no. I guess even gods need their rest,” he sighed. Papyrus chortled wryly at the words.

“Well we're all tired Asriel. I'm tired of being sidelined by Sans… tired of him making decisions for me.”

Asriel swallowed his words and held his arms behind his back to force himself not to give him an affirmative squeeze on the shoulder. Then he'd see all of his turmoil. Feel it. Experience it firsthand. It was all too much for him, truly. He hoped to the dead gods that he could be like Frisk. That he could get used to it after a while. Adapt to his new powers and body. “So… what do I think?”

Papyrus hummed and nodded curtly. He didn't know why, but he genuinely wanted to hear his opinion. Asriel had always been such a reasonable person. So logical in everything he said. Always made pointed critiques. Was quick to call out injustice. In a way, Papyrus admired him, even if it had taken him transforming into a more… respectable form than his plant self had been for him to realize that.

Asriel scrunched up his nose and sighed. “You know if Sans works himself ragged down there he'll turn into another Alphys… and I think he knows that too. I think he also… fears becoming like your father. So, I don't blame him for wanting to escape. And you know, Frisk… she's dealing with a lot. Just let them have each other. It's all they have right now. And as for Undyne…”

Asriel faltered, remembering the fear he'd experienced from Papyrus when he'd gotten stuck in mud of all things. A claustrophobic terror that had seized him completely. He wondered what his father must've done to him.

He could find out. He knew he could. All he had to do… was touch him…

His hand hovered over his shoulder and Papyrus glanced at him weirdly, moving away with a suspicious twinkle in his eyelights.

“What about Undyne?”

Asriel faltered before he smiled sheepishly and stuffed his hand back into the pockets of his robes. “Uh, nevermind…” he trailed off and shrugged his shoulders in a poor attempt to disarm him.

Papyrus scanned down him before scoffing and marching down the hall. Asriel stumbled after him dutifully. “Is Undyne going to be fine?” asked Papyrus. Asriel nodded and Papyrus gave a satisfied grunt.

“Yeah. Seriously, Sans did a good job of not killing her.”

“Well good. That's good.” he hesitated, blinking his eyes to ward off his frustration. “You look shabby in those royal robes.”

Asriel snorted with surprised laughter as Papyrus abruptly changed the subject to avoid talking about his feelings. Truly the Gaster brothers were more alike than they'd like to admit and it was scary.

“Then I guess you're gonna have to buy me new clothes. I may be a Dreemur, but I don't have access to the royal coffers.”

Papyrus shrugged. “Fine by me. I need to get my mind off of all this hogwash. You know, Sans always stresses me out.”

“Family is stressful.”

Papyrus smiled softly at him, before his eyes darkened at the reminder of his father. Yes. Family was stressful… but they were still family.

...

I... I DONT KNOW I THINK THEY COULD BE SWEET!

#underfell #wdyw #ywiw #fanfic #underfell frans #underfell Papsriel?#might Papsriel become a thing?#a slow burn on that one because I genuinely don't know #underfell papyrus #underfell asriel

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whumptober · 1 year

Note

I just wanted to thank you for running this event ❤️ it's been so nice to find a community that is uplifting about following our joys in fic, even and especially when it takes us dark places. Whump has always been my very favorite (the first fic I ever wrote, in crayon, circa age 6, was a whump fic actually 🤣) but people have always been judgemental and rude about it, to the point that I've felt weird about liking it even when there's no external censure to reinforce that feeling. It's nice and all to see random psa's floating around Tumblr with reminders that darkfic is good actually, BUT it's different and really cool to see a community be uplifting and affirming of our shared interest ☺️

I also really, really wanted to personally thank you for how chill y'all have been running this event. The inclusive attitude of how to use the prompts in the way that speaks to you most, how much you get done and when, etc, has been really wonderful.

I'm gently easing myself back into writing after a decade plus hiatus where it just... didn't work?? for some reason?? And there's stuff I have to cope with now that I didn't before, like brain fog and much more pronounced memory issues that can make writing quite frustrating. So I've really been focused on writing for me, and doing what makes me happy, and being very gentle about the times I can't accomplish as much as I want to, etc

I decided to participate in Whumptober this year (only finding out about it I think last year and the year before). I had a whole plan, that I still think could have worked, for completion. I only ended up filling one prompt though 😅

Thanks for being so chill, and affirming, and inclusive, with this event. It was pretty easy not to beat myself for not doing more because of that. It was a really fun event for me, even so. Thanks for fostering an environment where just whatever I could accomplish was plenty and I can still count as a participant 🖤

Hi Anon! Thank you for the ask, it is always very lovely to hear about people feeling welcomed in the whump community! And, in my opinion, that's one of the best things about Whumptober - the community coming together to create, share their work, cheer each other on and have fun!

We also really love to hear about people who have been away from creating for a while and are now coming back to build up those creative muscles. It's also important to us to be as encouraging as we can be - we know that Whumptober isn't easy, no matter how many prompts you aim to fill. It's a challenge, and we're here not only to organise the event and to answer questions, but to cheer everyone on!

Congratulations on participating in Whumptober, we are very happy you enjoyed it!

Happy Halloween and happy whumping!

- mod claire

#asks #anonymous #whumptober2022 #mod claire #congrats anon!#end of whumptober

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 2 years

Text

reading update

hey gamers, happy Pride Month Eve. I don't have any more time to make small talk, I've read so many fucking books since the last time we did this and I need to get started immediately.

what the fuck have I been reading?

The Memory Librarian: And Other Stories of Dirty Computer (Janelle Monáe, 2022) - I don't know if you guys know this about me, but I am... obsessed with Janelle Monáe. Dirty Computer, the album, changed me as a person. I have a bisexual pride flag hanging in my room that I can never wash because she touched it one time. my living room contains more than one decorative cushion with their face on it. a couple of years ago I almost willingly went broke to bid on a pair of the vulva pants from the Pynk music video when Mx. Monáe raffled them off. I love Janelle Monáe in a way that I rarely let myself love artists, and going into this book I really only had one fear: what if Janelle Monáe's book is bad? well, fear not: the book is pretty good, probably because Janelle Monáe was smart enough to hire actual experienced science fiction writers to collaborate and help her build out her world from song and screen to literature. the result is stories that are still sitting heavy in my mind even though it's been approximately a very busy calendar month since I read them, with new meanings crystalizing and arriving all the time. I will freely admit that the collection feel a little uneven in places, but then I'll immediately follow that up by talking about how hard it rips that there's a story about [spoilers] an idyllic little queer refuge from the evil authoritarian government being betrayed by a cis woman because she doesn't trust the AFAB nonbinary member of the crew, and decided that selling out the whole commune to a violent attack would somehow make all the "real" women safer than just letting someone use they/them pronouns in peace. Janelle had some things to say, y'all.

Short Talks (Anne Carson, 1992) - this is going to seem so short after all the rambling I just did for Janelle Monáe but it feels right. literally all I have to say is that I wish all poetry read like this. devoured in one sitting, delighted in every single page of it. Anne Carson, you deserve the hype.

Complaint! (Sara Ahmed, 2021) - I was lucky enough to get to watch Ahmed give a virtual lecture about this book before reading it, and as always her principled feminist rage was a delight to behold. Complaint! details research conducted by Ahmed after leaving her university position due to mishandling of student complaints, talking to other people about their experiences making institutional complaints - about professors, about bosses, about students, about policies that furthered deeply entrenched biases and hierarchies. her results were often disheartening, but Ahmed never gives in to despair. her work affirms injustice's existence but also the validity of raging against it; as someone working in a university setting and frequently unhappy with it, I felt more reinvigorated reading Complaint! than I have in a long time.

Before the Coffee Gets Cold (Toshikazu Kawaguchi, trans. by Geoffrey Trousselot, 2020) - I was really looking forward to this book, which sounded like exactly the sort of cozy, low-stakes fantasy slice of life shit I love. there's a café in Japan where people can have conversations with people from their pasts, but they only have as long is takes for their coffee to cool down - isn't that fun? I was prepared to really love it, and also cry a lot. in the end, I didn't love Before the Coffee Gets Cold as much as I hoped I would - maybe because it was adapted into a novel from a play, and the transition doesn't feel especially smooth? as I've already said on this blog, I would really like an opportunity to see this performed as a stage show if anyone ever does it in English - especially the ghost woman who lives in the café, I want to see that.

Rethinking Sex: A Provocation (Christine Emba, 2022) - oh man you guys, this one was a DOOZY. a friend alerted me to this book's existence months before it was published, and the premise sounded intriguing enough: Emba posits that the simple model of "yes means yes, no means no" isn't a sufficient sexual ethic, and fails to provide a reliable framework for treating sexual partners respectfully beyond obtaining basic consent - and she's right about that! I do agree with Emba on that particular statement; I think current understandings of consent are a very rudimentary baseline and frequently fail to account for the many nuances of human interactions. that is pretty much where Emba and I stop agreeing on almost anything. this book takes some stunningly regressive stances on sexuality in the name of equity, gang. Emba insists that some sexual desires are inherently worse than others, although she conspicuously fails to elucidate on what these might be while suggesting that porn is to blame for normalizing such "risky" kinks as anal sex and polyamory, which hilariously (and sadly) seems to suggest that she isn't clear on the difference between polaymory and group sex. she states in her intro that the book is absolutely meant to be inclusive of gay and trans readers, then goes on to spend a chapter talking about how silly it is to pretend men and women are the same when their innate biological frailty and predisposition to pregnancy makes women inherently more imperiled by sex. she insists that it's unlikely anyone actually enjoys "casual sex," providing choice quotes from interviews that support this stance, and upon encountering a woman who maintains that she did enjoy a shallow sexual relationship pivots to question why a person would even want such a thing in the first place. this book is a hot ass mess, y'all, and while I did take a certain perverse pleasure in sending the yikes-iest segments to a friend to scream in mutual horror, I cannot say I'd actually recommend it.

The Halloween Moon (Joseph Fink, 2021) - hey, one of the Welcome to Night Vale guys wrote a middle readers book and it's really cute. The Halloween Moon has the same unhinged energy as Disney Channel Halloween movies from the nineties and early 2000s - you know, the ones where everything going on was really silly but also holy shit someone might kill that 11 year old for realsies? think Hocus Pocus, that's the right vibe. yeah that was my SHIT as a kid, and remains my shit as a weird adult. if you know a weird kid, I'd strongly recommend passing this along to them.

Batman: The Long Halloween (Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale, 1996) - I didn't mean to read two back-to-back Halloween-ish books in May, it just happened. life is weird that way. anyway yes I DID read this because it was specifically cited as a heavy inspiration for The Batman (2022), no I regret nothing. I've been avoiding Big Two comics for years, but like... fuck. I missed this. this is so fun and dumb. every other page is Batman emotionally taking a deep drag on a cigarette and monologuing about how rancid Gotham City is followed by someone getting murdered on Saint Patrick's Day and having a leprechaun statuette left on their corpse. it's ridiculous it's noir out the ass I loved every second of it. it's perfectly self-contained and I cannot recommend it enough if you don't mind grisly murder. consider yourselves warned that I'm getting back into comics in a big way.

Hench (Natalie Zina Walschots, 2020) - you guys might recall Hench as the winner of my second-ever reading poll, beating out three other books on my TBR. and you know what? you guys were fucking right. Hench is the story of Anna, a temp who does data entry for supervillains - it's a living, you know? until she gets horrifically injured in a fight between her latest boss and a guy who's, uuuh, he's definitely not Superman. don't worry about it. Anna develops a metric to calculate how much property damage and loss of human life superheroes are actually causing - and a huge, HUGE grudge. she finds a new, cooler evil boss and gets to work ruining superheroes' lives, and oh MAN is she good at her job. I don't often pine for sequels, but if one happened to come along for this book I would NOT be disappointed. frankly Anna's boss Leviathan is the monster boyfriend that dreams are made of and I think she deserves a second book purely to try to kiss him on the mandibles. let a bitch live vicariously.

Time Is a Mother (Ocean Vuong, 2022) - one thing about Ocean Vuong is that he's going to reliably fuck me right the fuck up, emotionally, and there was approximately a 0% chance that a poetry collection meditating on the death of his mother wasn't going to be ruinous. what can I say, I was raised by a single mother who currently lives very far away and has complicated health problems that seem to get worse with each passing year! some things are going to set me off! I returned this book to the library before writing down the names of specific poems that got to me, like an idiot, but there's one that's very simple in its devastation: a collection of things Vuong's mother ordered from Amazon, detailed month by month, showing a woman's attempts to continue living a normal life even as her health worsens to the point of preparing for her own funeral. I love a poem that's just a list of shit given meaning, and it took me right out.

Nightmare Alley (William Lindsay Gresham, 1946) - "oh like the Guillermo Del Toro movie" yeah exactly like the Guillermo Del Toro movie, this is the book it was based on. this probably won't shock you if you've seen the movie, but oh my god this is fucked. like, significantly more than the movie, Mr. Del Toro was really sparing our delicate feelings with his adaptation. if you watched Nightmare Alley and said "I just don't think Stan was enough of a fucking freak bastard," oh boy do I have good news for you. also if you watched Nightmare Alley and thought "this is interesting but I wish we devoted a lot more time to Stan developing his career as a phony spiritualist and we got to see him spend several years running a full fucking church while claiming to commune with the dead" hey, we've got that too! Stan spends most of this book running around doing terrible things while Yakkety Sax plays behind him, all the while running an internal monologue about power and manipulation that's truly vile. if you like a book about a wretched guy having just a terrible time (one of my favorite genres, btw) you're gonna love this.

Yoke: My Yoga of Self-Acceptance (Jessamyn Stanley, 2021) - I'll freely admit that I was very hesitant going into this one. Jessamyn Stanley is a very cool yoga instructor who I first learned about in a way that was pretty much "check out this fat Black queer yoga icon!," and I've sort of passively admired her ever since. I was worried that reading her personal essays would be a bit of a case of "don't meet your heroes" - what if she has some stupid ass phony influencer opinions that leaves a sour taste in my mouth about her whole deal? SHOULD NOT HAVE WORRIED. first off, this bitch is a good personal essay writer and funny as hell. secondly, she devotes a good chunk of time to dissecting the burden of being The fat Black yoga icon, the difficulty in unlearning to urge to seek approval from white audiences, and how the necessity of viewership inherently taints and complicated her relationship too her craft. she also has some very real and gorgeous thoughts about the American yoga industry's problem with cultural appropriation, and where she fits into that as a Black instructor teaching a Indian practice. she's inspired me to take another crack at meditation (not easy!!) and has some thoughts on posture and breathing that have really shaken up my whole relationship with yoga for the better.

Cultish: The Language of Fanatacism (Amanda Montell, 2021) - definitely one of my favorite nonfic books I've read this year that isn't an essay collection/memoir. Montell (the daughter of a man raised in the Synanon cult, it bears mentioning) takes an engaging look at the way cults use appealing, exclusive language to bind people and ensnare them, making it difficult to leave. the approach to cults is sharply critical, but Montell looks at cult members with an empathetic eye, reminding readers many times that there's nothing to back up the idea that those who fall into cults are less intelligent or more ignorant than the general population. instead, she examines the ways in which charismatic leaders cleverly use words to present an image of something desirable - and then make it difficult to back out. to me the most interesting part of the book is way Montell draws comparisons between real, well-known cults to groups such as CrossFit, multilevel marketing schemes, and the followers of "wellness" influencers on Instagram. Montell makes clear that she's not accusing, say, Tupperware salespeople of being exactly as harmful as Jim Jones, but that she thinks there are similarities worth examining - and she's right! a smart, easy read; strongly recommend for anyone seeking something curious and fun.

Little Rabbit (Alyssa Songsiridej, 2022) - a book about a relationship, which Sonsiridej herself calls a coming of age story and one of my favorite writers Carmen Maria Machado calls a "horny love letter to bottoming." it is indeed both of those things, and it's very good at both of them! the novel follows a 30 year old writer in her pursuit of a 51 year old choreographer, and the struggle to make sense of their power dynamics once she gets him. what does it mean that he's so much older? that he's divorced from a rich wife and has resources she can't imagine? should she be flattered or affronted that he wants to help her advance her career? does dating an older cishet man mean she's turning her back on her queerness, as her roommate keeps insinuating? what does it mean that he feels uneducated compared to her and her literary friends? and what is our protagonist supposed to do about the fact that she's just discovered she's one hell of a sub? isn't it problematic to want an older man to hurt her? maybe so, but she's enjoying the hell out of it. this is a coming of age story like I've never seen before, but I hope to find a lot more like it because it was simply exquisite.

Portrait of a Thief (Grace D. Li, 2022) - the premise is simple: five Chinese-American college students get hired to heist stolen art out of five Western museums and return it to China. the reward? 10 million dollars each. the stakes? oh my god, astronomical. all of their lives could be absolutely ruined - and it's not a spoiler to say that absolutely nothing goes how they expect it to. a fun and fast-paced book, one that I would definitely recommend for, say, a day of reading on the beach or on an airplane.

#bookblr #reading updates

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softguarnere · 2 years

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Hi, Dove! I saw that you’ve been doing ships, and I wanted to try it! I've never done this before, so I'm a little nervous, but this seemed like fun and I’ve had a tough week at work soooo yeah (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

I’m Amber, she/her, from Louisiana. I’m around 5’8 and I have brown eyes and curly brown hair.

I’m an introvert, and it takes a while for me to feel comfortable around people, but once I do I’m pretty talkative and full of sarcasm and pop culture references. I’m also a terrible procrastinator (even with things that I want to do??? Idk) and a perfectionist; if i don’t think I can do something perfectly I just don’t do it at all, which is something that I’m really trying to work on. My love language is words of affirmation. If someone pays me a genuine compliment I will think about it for days! I’m an Enneagram type 9 (Peacemaker). I have a VERY hard time telling people ‘no’ and sometimes agree to do things just to keep others happy, another thing that I’m trying to work on.

I spend my free time watching tv/movies, reading, and making gifs. I always carry a book with me, in case I have a spare minute to read. I’ve been told that I’m a dramatic reader, I can’t keep my reactions to myself and I end up with people asking me what’s happening in my book! However, I’ve mastered my poker face when I read fanfiction 😌 I love driving places because I can have concerts in my car, although I’d rather have someone drive me around and just let me sing… I buy new journals and planners every year, sometimes multiple a year, but I’m not the best at actually using them….I just love how pretty they are and how put together they make me feel when I do use them!

I’m a teacher of two year olds at a childcare center, so my day is full of loud/energetic toddlers! I love my job, and while I do hope to be a mom one day, I’m also very happy when I get to go home to the quiet and my cat! I attend church every Sunday, and I also teach children’s church on Wednesday nights.

Ok, that’s all I can think of to put about myself….I hope this rambling is somewhat coherent! Thank you for taking the time to do this and for sharing your writing!! 🥰

Hi Amber! Thank you so much, I'm so glad that you've enjoyed what I've shard so far 🥰 I love your gifs, so I feel like I'm talking to a celebrity rn hehe 🙈 I'm sorry that you've had a tough week, and I hope it gets better soon! Sending some positive vibes your way ✨

I ship you with . . .

Joseph Liebgott!

I am once again on my introverts with extroverts agenda because I stand by it! When y'all first meet, he would be so determined to see if he could bring you out of your shell. And when he does he would just immediately be so head over heals for you. You guys would have so many inside jokes, and he's thrilled that someone finally gets all his witty references

He would be so supportive of all your endeavors, especially if it's something that you want to do but keep putting off (as someone whose executive dysfunction constantly holds her back, I really feel your pain babe!) One of his main love languages is touch, so if you need it he'll just kind of hold you and softly tell you positive affirmations until you feel like you're at a good place to get going, or at least to start

And omgggg, this man would be throwing compliments at you left and right, especially when you first meet, just because he knows it gets to you and he loves the way you light up when he does it

No but Joe is actually pretty good at communicating what he wants and needs, and that's the hill I will die on. If he sees that you're having a hard time telling someone no, he would be so willing to step in for you and make sure that you don't agree to something that you don't want to do

We all know he likes to read comics, but when you get together his favorite hobby becomes reading comics while he holds you. (Actually, maybe just holding you is his favorite hobby) Either way, if you're lying together on the couch to read, he feels like he's on cloud nine, just because it's so peaceful and makes him feel content. Sometimes he doesn't even read -- he just watches you read because he loves watching how expressive you are

He's a great driver. Does he sometimes get a little angry at everyone else on the road? Yeah, but he drives for a living, so we'll let him have this. Sometimes he gets fed up with driving and wishes that he could just stay home instead, especially if he has to drive out of his way for something on one of his days off. But if you're in the car, he can't even get mad at anyone, because he's too busy trying to sing duets with you, or letting you put on your own personal concert for him. Those are the moments when he thinks he might actually like driving, just because he gets to have fun with you

Okay but I feel like one day you pick up a journal, determined to finally use it, and your heart just drops because omg there's writing in it? Did I accidentally buy a used one somehow? But then you realize it's Lieb's handwriting, and he's written down little notes and drawn little doodles/comics so that you can enjoy them while you're working

Omg he would love your job and how passionate you are about working with kids. After all, he knows that he wants to be a dad some day. He definitely listens to you tell stories about funny things your kids have said and done and it just kinda makes his heart glow because he knows that if you guys decide to have kids that you would be an amazing mom, and he would be so excited to go on that journey with you

Thank you so much for the request! I hope you liked this 💕🕊️

#me 🤝 Liebgott #🤝 = getting super angry while driving lol #I really hope this next week is kinder to you love!#band of brothers ships #band of brothers #band of brothers x reader #tumblr friends #joseph liebgott #joseph liebgott x reader #joe liebgott #joe liebgott x reader #band of brothers headcanon #my writing

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notallwonder · 2 years

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I watched CM s3ep4 "Children of the Dark" again.

Somehow, it only just now occurred to me to watch this episode with Declan in mind. I'm sure the writers had no clue about this facet of Emily's backstory when this episode was made. But it's fun to think about, and in the case of this episode it fits in pretty well.

Emily's urge to take in Carrie Ortiz, and her disgust about returning the other kids to their foster home, are that much more poignant.

Hotch's line about remaining objective in the job vs. Emily's "and I need to know I can be human" hits harder, or differently. All that she risked to get Declan out and keep him hidden, and later all that those actions would cost her... She did all that not only to save Declan, but also perhaps to hold on to her own humanity in a job that required her to sacrifice so much of herself. With or without Declan in mind, I love this convo with Hotch bc she is taking a risk, showing vulnerability, and then she tries not to give away too much more when it turns out Carrie's family showed up. We can practically see it hit Emily that maybe she *wanted* to take Carrie in more than she realized. Not just for Carrie's sake, but for herself too.

I wonder, did she ever let herself think of Declan as her own son, either undercover or after? Did she ruthlessly compartmentalize away that maternal instinct and tell herself she did all that for Declan merely because it was the right thing to do? Maybe "maternal instinct" isn't quite right, but certainly a protective emotional attachment - maybe more of a need to provide the kind of protection and love she didn't get as a child.

I wonder how much the rest of JTF-12 knew about Declan (I can't remember if that comes up later). Did they have anything to do with getting Declan to America? Did Emily orchestrate that all by herself? They had to have helped. Did Emily have to hide her feelings away even from them, to further protect Declan from becoming a pawn?...and/or to protect her "objectivity"/detachment from being called into question?

This apparent dichotomy between "objectivity" and "humanity" is fucked up in general, and especially so considering the deep cover situation Emily was in as Lauren. I've never been sold on the idea that Emily as Lauren actually loved Ian Doyle, but perhaps if you're in that dangerous a situation you do have to believe what you're selling, at a certain level. She kept that gimlet ring necklace. Maybe only because the writers needed a tangible clue for the team to make inferences about the nature of her relationship with Doyle? Maybe not?

This exchange with Hotch shows how far she's come since "Revelations" in terms of relaxing that compartmentalization a bit and trusting her team. But it could also function as a marker of how far removed Emily is now from her days at JTF-12, how much safer (?) or more *herself* she feels.

And then my favorite moment: at the end of the episode, on the jet, with JJ.

It's no stretch to imagine Emily thinking of Declan as well as Carrie as she looks out the window - both children she is unable to care for directly, but whom she nonetheless did what she could to protect, from a distance. I like the extra layer Declan adds to this scene. I like that JJ sees and affirms Emily's need to be human, her moment of vulnerability. I love the way this episode rewards Emily's tenderness rather than punishes it. Emily's little "...yeah?" in response to JJ always gets me - again, Emily lets herself *want* to love and care for someone. It's not just a fantasy she has to lock away behind a facade of unperturbed mission-oriented objectivity.

Whew y'all, I'm never going to be over that exchange on the jet. The way JJ looks at Emily............♥️.

#emily prentiss #some thinky thoughts #not sure how coherent this is but i don't care and I'm hungry #anyway no surprise i love Emily Prentiss an awful lot #i didn't even get into anything about her abortion or her parents lol #also i feel like this desire to have kids gets lost as the show goes on though I'm not sure when #i appreciate they don't make it the centerpiece of Emily's character (like they kinda did with JJ!) and it remains a private thing for her #does this count as meta?

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dionysiospsychas-photography · 4 months

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MOUNT PLEASANT PHOTO WALK

… Well, hello again readers. Firstly, Merry Everything and Happy Always! I wish everyone a cozy end of the year, and here's to starting over with new plans in the new year.

How are you? Good? Great. I'm glad, if that's actually the case. But this is just me talking to myself, hopeful and positive tho. Sincerely, I wish y'all are doing well and mildly happy. Me, I've been flat emotionally and creatively the last while. And it's been a bore. I get this way often because I'm bored easily, am constantly thinking of some concept or fear, or hilariously spending too much time writing about them.

But seriously and importantly, I realize it stems from inadequate sleep, which has been terrible lately, and acknowledge it's also because I don't go out for a walk often enough. The latter exacerbates the former, and round and round, which makes for a scattered mind, a mind that can't focus, a mind that can't be quieted, and sometimes brings to the front a random worry or a negative notion about myself, which then makes me doubt myself, which… AAAARGH! It becomes a general malaise and I don't know what to do next.

Typically, I would drop what I am working on and go for a walk to change ideas. When I'm observing my surroundings, scanning for a frame, being surprised by the new things I see, focusing on something interesting, other than myself, composing a frame and making something meaningful is meditative and calms me. Taking walks and photographing help me relax and refocus, feel ready for the next thing, sleep better, and not feel like plywood.

For the larger picture of my life, taking walks and photographing help me deal with my dyslexic overload, professional stress, general anxiety, and severe depression.

Wendy D, in one of her recent YouTube videos titled "Using Your Camera to Stop the Noise", talks about the negative voice in us. It takes over and makes us feel inadequate, creatively and personally. And to let that go, she goes for a walk in nature. She is narrating the video from a Vancouver beach, sitting on a log, sighing in realization and wisdom. She says being in nature and looking with her camera changes everything for her; she is in wonderment and it eases her mind. She gets into an art mode and acts with intuition, and that settles her down and gets rid of the chatter. (I concur.) Doing that also allows her to regain perspective and remind herself that she is good enough, that it doesn't matter what others are doing, and that photography is for herself. And it's a big relief. And for more insights and positive affirmations, please watch her video.

Likewise, my friend and photographer Sharon Wish has mentioned numerous times, especially while we're walking in a forest, how being in nature makes her feel so good. For her, it is an emotional refreshing and mental health renewal. Here is what she had to say.

"As someone who has a 9 to 5 work week at a stressful job, I find that walking in nature really grounds me and relieves stress and anxiety. When I am photographing and walking in nature it's a form of mindfulness for me. I notice I am breathing deeper and more freely, and completely focused on my surroundings and what I am photographing. It's the simple things that bring me peace, and being in nature with my camera is such an important part of my life. Nature photography is the greatest gift, and for that I am grateful."

For me too, the sights, sounds, and scents of the forest are wondrous stimulations and they rejuvenate me. But for relief of stress with photography, the locale is less important. It's going out that is more important, breathing in fresh air, seeing and finding something different, and stretching my ankles.

So, when you're feeling tense and scattered just drop what you're doing and go for a walk. And better yet, go with camera! Yup, there's nothing better for our mental well being and our artistic projects than to go for a photo walk.

For our photo walk in Mount Pleasant I won't say much. East of Main Street you can find lots of grimy and new things, varied architectural types and details, and an urban make up that has cool, interesting things and scenes to photograph. So, I totally recommend doing a photo walk there with a friend. And to be inspired, see the nice photos of Mount Pleasant below by the sympathetic photogs who joined us on that nice, fortuitous, fresh day.

Thank you much Brenda, Colin, James, John, Nina, Sharon, and Syd, for joining our photo walk and making the day fun.

The sympathetic photogs

The vengeful, blinking photogs

Photos by Brenda \ IG: @brendamw15

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Photos by Colin \ IG: @funktionalphotog

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Photos by Dionysios (your host) \ IG: @thephotogeniccity

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Photos by James \ IG: @jameshouston.arts

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Photos by John \ IG: @mac1054

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Photos by Nina \ IG: @nina.wood

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Photos by Sharon \ IG: @bluechameleon

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So, from your friendly neighbourhood photo guide, thank you for reading and see you at the next photo walk. And as I always say, to find new angles and experience different atmospheres of places, you just got to keep being there. I find there is pleasure in photographing together, getting to know each other, and conversing about this and that and photography. Importantly, we can be inspired by each other to keep making meaningful photographs. And it is hoped that these experiences will inspire local photographers to explore the city on their own.

So, how about you; have you explored Mount Pleasant? What do you do to relieve stress or anxiety? Send me an email and tell me what you think.

DP, 2023-12-17

Are you getting value out of the photo walks and the blog? If so, you can help support these by sharing them with others or thru Buy Me A Coffee. Think of it as a tip jar and an easy way to say thanks. Thank you for your support, I sincerely appreciate it! Merci beacoup!

#exploring #photowalk #mountpleasant

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blacklodgemusictx · 1 year

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2.5 hrs? I thought "down here" south from home, Abilene, all cities were right next to each other and required no time or effort to get between.

I have the magical, if annoying ability to sleep the second I'm in a moving vehicle so the trip from Houston to Austin takes no time to me.

I've picked all our hotels for this trip with proximity to venue in mind, but Austin is two shows so apparently I picked it for distance to the second show... we're accidentally 20 miles away from the first show.

We hang out at the hotel. Doug sleeps. I write, mess with my pictures from Houston, get Doordash (Michi Ramen, y'all, accept no substitute! Though I apologize to anyone who met me after as I am now a walking garlic glove.)

I don't know if needs will change in the next few days, but right now I'm so delighted NOT being at work, I'm happy as a clam in bed surfing for the ubiquitous episode of Forensic Files. Updating Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram, TikTok, my own website that I don't even know how to access right now because of hosting issues and my own virtua-ignorance - I'm emailing entries to an extremely tolerant gentleman I met on Fiverr: just update everything now and I"ll learn to internet later, please? Ok.

I've taught myself basic graphic design, marketing and literally created an internet presence purely to try and amplify the presence of these musicians I've come to love so much.

In the back of my mind, a tiny voice keeps whispering: these are skills. Skills people might want. You could parlay this in to a job that doesn't kill your soul, makes you look forward to waking up every day... but I've also never been the type of person who just believes; takes for granted that good things will happen. I'm trying to change and I would love to believe that if I gaze in to the future, I'll see myself happy, doing something I love that fulfills me spiritually instead of just paying the bills... but some lessons hammered in to my head as a child (life, work is to be endured not enjoyed) stick like cement and feel impossible to break.

But I will keep trying. Things change. One of my Zox affirmational bracelets I've taken to adorning my wrist with recently says: 'Just Breathe.' As long as there is breath, there is hope. If you are still here, if you are ALIVE, you can change.

The first Austin show is cold.

The audacity of having an outdoor show in January! But this is Texas. My Rocky Horror troupe at home performed in the cold, I was Janet is the pouring rain once (actual splashing during the swimming pool scene, can you imagine?)

There are heaters, but occasionally the musicians still stop to flex and wiggle life back in to cold digits.

Olivia has borrowed a black throw from the lady of the house and knotted it about her shoulders. A simple knot, a careless/careful draping and suddenly that throw is any stylish piece off a Paris or Milan runway.

Joe and Salim are in layers. I'm layered too, but Salim still lends me his coat while he performs. I wear it like a lap blanket. Wool. Cozy.

I pull up my hoodie. Run inside. Steal some cheese from a charcuterie. "Leave the moon alone" one gentleman, also enjoying the cheese, comments. That's what my hood says. It's an inside joke from the Jimmy Newquist Zoom COVID shows. "Remember Caroline's Spine?" Head shake. "Sullivan? The song about the brothers in the navy who died together? It's the story 'Saving Private Ryan' was based on" He doesn't remember. Normally, I pull out my phone and play the song when I have a captive audience like this, but I shrug and head back outside.

Marty banters. Marty poses like Robert Plant.

Some day, bless them, my musicians will learn that I'm here to document... and that includes the silly stuff too. I have pictures of all of this. I love it though. I love Marty being silly with us. I love that I can talk to him and he will smile and joke. I've met so many who can't be bothered - one of Marty's previous group of contemporaries comes immediately to mind. So many whose self importance takes up too much room. Leaving no room for a fan to squeak by and pass a word of admiration or two.

It was a cold, beautiful night.

I'm already so aware though that the trip is speeding by. Tonight is the Cactus Cafe. Tomorrow is San Antonio and hopefully a friend or two or three to see. Then leg one is over.

Salim brought up a term at the show last night that I am now trying to keep in my head, "Hyper presence." Just be here. Be here now.

Eyes open. See everything. Experience. Be here. Eat the food. Hear the music. Love the companions.

Be alive for this.

Live.

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