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aleksa-sims · 5 months

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RL Simself Story ( 18+)

CW: Pregnancy

We didn’t even manage to stay together for a whole month. How's this supposed to work with with N. & me? We're having a Baby soon. That means, I’m forever bound to him, whether I want it or not. But I wanted him! Maybe if I didn’t love him and didn’t care about him, it would have been easier? I wanted to make it work with us, but N. broke up with me. 😭... I think, Nico was actually right? This became clear to me, 2 weeks after he dumped me. I sat at my desk, to study for my exam. As I tried to concentrate, I noticed that Daniel’s photos above my desk distracted me.. Why can’t I just take Daniel’s photos off that damn wall to put them away, I asked myself?... The last days I’ve been thinking about, what’s wrong with me, bcs everyone’s letting me down. Now I got my answer! The moment I thought about all this, I was ashamed of myself! I let it happen again. 2 Men, you know? Agh, somehow I had to puke? 🙄🤮...... Was probably my first pregnancy nausea. I was to slow. Instead of puking in the toilet, I throw up next to it. Well, near-miss is still a miss! 🤦‍♀️

I have to file for divorce, I told myself. I can’t go on like this forever. D. was gone! But loved him, sm. 💔Still, I had to end this! No matter what happens to Nico and me, I had to draw a line, to finally accept that.... Daniel and I failed.😞

Back to the fight between N. and me 2 weeks ago. After finishing the conversation with my Grams, I went over to my bedroom. Nico was waiting for me. I was still thinking about my Grama and her twins... I started to tell Nico about it, but he didn’t listen to me? His phone buzzed. Constantly! I was annoyed, you know. I asked him, to put it away. But Nico didn’t react! So I went closer to him... I wanted to know what distracted him? He knew I was standing right next to him! I thought he’d try to hide his phone from me, to prevent me from seeing what he was doing? But he was totally relaxed. This encouraged me, to take a look at it. Damn, I saw Stephanie!! She sent him her fucking selfies. 😡

Me: You lied to me! You didn’t break up with her!

Nico: I didn't lie! I, don't lie!!! ... Hm, I need to change my number. 😕... But I swear, it's OVER!

Me: Prove it! Text her back! Tell her, you never want to see her again and you’re sick of her.

Nico: She already knows that! She knows I love you! She saw it herself! She saw us together. Or did you forget?

Me: She didn't saw us togehter! The only thing she noticed, is that I cried and left your apartment! You, didn't give shit about that! You didn’t try to stop me! And that’s exactly what she saw & noticed! ... You still fall for her pityscam.

Nico: No, I don't...😞😞...

Me: What happend to you, N.? I don't recognize you like this ... Why are you such a candy-ass with her?... Where is that mad asshole you used to be?

Nico: I don't want to be mad 😞 ... Come to me, babe. I wanna hug you.

Me: ???😦 ... NO! Get off me! Don't touch me!

Nico: I told you what I want and expect from you! You have to trust me!

Me: Did you expect or demand the same from Stephanie too? Or are you just playing your crazy mind games with me?

Nico: I’m honest! I demand those... certain things, only from you! I told you I chose you! But I see you still don’t quite understand me. That’s why you’re gonna listen to me now and do what I say. I feel like you’re not taking me seriously.

Me: Are you kidding???

Nico: Why would I kid you?... Agh, whatever! What interests me far more is.... Why are Daniel’s photos still hanging around here?

Me: I wanted to put them away! But Dilek was here. We were studying. And... I didn’t want her asking me stupid questions about D., so I didn’t do it in front of her.

Nico: You're always thinking up excuses, babe... Sit down! And listen to me well!...... I'll go. I don’t want to! Honestly not! But you leave me no choice....

Me: Are you ending this? Us?

Nico: Let me finish! When I’m done, you can talk.

Me: You got a lot of nerve, talking to me like this. You know?... You’re only leaving me, bcs Stephanie threatened to hurt herself or something.🙁😢

Nico: You don't get it!... It’s not about her! She’s with her parents! I don’t care what she does. She’s not my responsibility anymore. Agh, anyway! It’s no use debating for hours. I take off! You need to learn and understand me.

Me: And.... what about our Baby? You’re letting me down on this thing? It’s your Baby! You have to take care of your child too. That’s not fair that everything sticks to me while you continue to enjoy your freedom and your life. I thought I could rely on you...I always fall for the same shit.

Nico: I won’t let you & our Baby down. I keep my word, I’ll do my best for her or him. Just... you and I, won’t be together. But I’m here until september. I can support you in everything you need for our Baby.

Me: Sure. Like... Isabella & Philip did, right? I get why Isabella took off! Philip is an ass, just like you! 😠.... 🙁

Nico: I’m not like P.! But I don't want to say any more... just one thing! If you love me and want us to be together, as it should be! Get a divorce finally! Cut it with D.! Alone. Without me!... As soon as you get the divorce petition in writing, you’ll get me back, if you still want to. Your parents know about us. I even talked to your Dad. They all know about our Baby. There are no more excuses to postpone or wait for divorce. But you don’t care, you’re doing absolutely nothing to move this thing forward. Instead, you want to see Daniel’s brother. Anyway, do what feels right for you. I said what I had to say.

Me: I understand 🙁 .... but.. please don't go! Stay with me. I'm gonna do what you said.

Nico: I don't want to, but...agh, damn it!.. I have to go, or you won’t change anything. Don’t disappoint me! Do the right thing. I trust you! You come back to me, I know that. But now, I have to leave you alone. I'm so sorry. 🙁🤦‍♂️

He left! 😨In his.... sleepwear. I swear! Nico left in his shorts and a shirt. But okay, he just got in his car. He didn't have to take the subway or anything. I wasn’t feeling well afterwards. I had a killer Dejavu! It felt like when he left me a year ago... He said he talked to my Dad. Did my Dad talk Nico into some shit again?... However, I have to end my marriage to... finish this chapter and move on. 😞I also noticed that I never stopped loving N. I still loved him, as I did then. Now I was in love with two men again. I know, that sounds good to some. I’ve been asked a few times, why I complain about it? But trust me, it doesn’t feel good, it........hurts. We're running in circles, hurting each other, though we don’t want or intend to, it still happens....all the time.

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#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #rl story #myrlgameplay #cw pregnancy

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western-magical-girl-confessions · 8 months

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*Sigh…*

Hello everyone. I apologize for disappearing for a while. I know I promised to finish all the confessions and close them indefinitely, but with everything that has been going on in the past few months, I have just been reflecting a lot. After much consideration, I have made a decision:

On January 2, 2024, I am considering deleting this blog.

So with this said, I guess you might be wondering why, Well, I'll list the reasons. Been doing so for this long right?

I had been hesitant to admit it, but after some contemplation, I have come to the realization that this blog is becoming a negative experience for me. I've had to make confessions that I don't agree with and deal with anonymous hate for sharing confessions that I didn't even write. Trying to please everyone has also affected my own beliefs. Additionally, the lack of western magical girl shows has resulted in repetitive confessions. It's unfortunate, but my feelings about this blog may continue to fluctuate.

From then till now, I always said that not all the confessions made were by me, but I do admit that some of them were my own. I just want to be honest with all of you. I'm not proud of some of the confessions I made. Some aged like milk. Even though I know that I may still come across certain confessions that leave a bad taste in my mouth to this day, I just want to leave this part of my life behind me.

I have been a fan of several TV series, such as Miraculous Ladybug, She-Ra, Equestria Girls, My Little Pony, many others. However, some of the fans of these shows have given me negative experiences that I don't want to remember. Sometimes, reading these confessions reminds me of those bad experiences. Hence, I want to move on and forget about them. Nevertheless, I will cherish the good memories that these shows and their fandom have given me.

I need assurance that I won't be able to access this blog again, in case I give in to the temptation of making confessions once more. My desire is to move on and channel my energy towards other productive activities that will benefit me in my life. This has been a long-term aspiration for me, which I didn't do entirely.

I know I've said this countless times in the past, but I'll say this for the final time. I'm dealing with personal things that are just a real ongoing struggle, and I want to focus all my time and energy on them. Running this blog has started to feel like a chore, and I believe I've gotten all the satisfaction from it that I wanted.

Also, I've thought about moving on to focus on more original projects. I don't want to completely share these ideas publicly yet, but I've been having some ideas in mind.

Lastly, I'm just tired of constantly having to explain myself. I know that I don't owe anyone an explanation and I am not obligated to keep this blog active, but I did. I did it because I genuinely cared about you all and wanted to create something fun for fans of the magical girl genre. I wanted to provide a platform for others to express their feelings and thoughts without fear of being canceled. Unfortunately, I no longer want to do this…

Sorry guys for the redundant posts lol Let's just hope that this will be the last one until this blog closes (or goes inactive indefinitely). There’s no guarantee that I will delete this blog, but I’m just saying prepare for the possibility in the future. So if there’s anything that you would like to save or archive, then now’s the time to do so. I'm not entirely sure if I'm going to finish the remaining confessions in the box or not, because there's a strong possibility that I'll delete this blog anyway.

So if anyone has any thoughts or ideas or anything, feel free to say so. I have to admit, I'm going to miss this blog, but this is probably for the best.

Thanks again guys, and as always, stay magical.

If you wish to reach me (the mod), my main account is @misssakurapetal27

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djemsostylist · 1 year

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Having recently watched the Star Wars films again, I decided to also tackle the books again as well. I've read most of what Star Wars has to offer, but there are a few I haven't made it to and a few I feel like I don't appreciate the way I should.

I started with the novelization of The Phantom Menace by Terry Brooks, and I'll be honest when I say I didn't expect much. TPM as a movie was boring, and I figured the novel wouldn't be much better.

I was wrong. I was so wrong, in fact, that I'd say I highly recommend it. See, my chief problem with the prequels is a two-fold one: 1, George wrote a truly horrible story, and 2, George hired truly atrocious actors to be the leads. Ewan McGregor not withstanding, the actors he hired were barely able to handle the script he gave them, let alone bring something more to the characters.

Anakin's fall should be slow, steady, bit by bit and then all at once. He should be Anakin, of course, but he should also be Vader. Because that is the thing about Anakin--he was always Vader. He didn't have a nightmare once and wake up Vader, after having been a good man his whole life. Vader's selfishness, his single-mindedness, his fear, his fixations, his rage, and his desire for power and control were always a part of Anakin, as much as his supernatural ability with flying and machines and his visions of the future. Anakin could be kind, he could be selfless, he could be decent, but all of these aspects of Anakin were always entwined with Vader. And as time goes on, it becomes harder and harder to hide the Vader, to pull on Anakin's face and plaster on Anakin's smile and pretend that the fire that rages always is banked, is controlled, is not waiting to consume. So when he takes those final steps, when he kills Mace and kneels before Palpatine and takes the Temple, we should have seen it coming. Not because we've seen the original trilogy and we know that Anakin is Vader, but because we've seen the Vader in him all along. Because this was always how his story was going to end. He was always going to be Vader, forever.

The problem is that the movies don't really give us that, particularly in TPM. I think George sort of wanted to show this kid's super innocence, and it came across as grossly naïve and also almost cloyingly sweet. The Anakin we get in TPM has no hints of Vader, no darkness, no intensity, none of the vices which will plague him for a lifetime. He's sweet and innocent and pure, in a way that's almost annoying its earnestness. He has little to no agency in his own story--he isn't even a POV character. And Padme, who will one day become his future wife, views him with the same sort of feeling one would expect for a 14 year old girl and a precocious little moppet--she thinks he's cute and childish and that's about it. She likes him certainly, but so does everyone he encounters, because he's a caricature of childhood innocence and naivete. There's nothing to him.

Anakin in the novel comes across as older--I'd put him at 12-13, to the movie's 9. (The book does state that he is 9, but I teach 9 year olds--even an incredibly precocious one would not come across like Anakin). In this Anakin, we see shades of Vader. He lives in a constant state of hyper awareness of both his abilities (which he is fully aware of, unlike in the movie where he seems not to notice his skills at all), and he wrestles constantly with a gnawing fear of losing everything he loves. This Anakin is quiet and thoughtful, and though kind and outgoing, is also prone to fits of rage or moments of utter stillness. When Watto is screaming in his face, Anakin sort of checks out, blank faced and staring until Watto exhausts himself and forgets to scream, ostensibly because he knows that arguing is useless, but also because, I think, he isn't sure what will happen if he fights back. He dreams of a life in the stars, but he can't see a future without his mother. He knows that he has abilities others don't, and he knows enough to keep them to himself. He saves the life of a Tusken Raider in the desert because he feels its pain, but he also beats the shit out of a teenage Rodian (a young Greedo as it would happen) because he is mourning the loss of Padme.

And speaking of Padme, their relationship in this is intense. In the movie, Padme pays about as much attention to him as you would expect, given their age difference. It would be weird for her to be as immediately smitten and attached, and likewise Anakin's interest in her seems childish and unremarkable.

In the story, their connection and mutual interest is instant and intense. From the moment they first meet in the junkshop, they are almost always together, and Padme is as fascinated and drawn to him as he is to her. (Which, coincidentally, fits much better if she is 14 and he is only a little younger). They spend all their time together, and are often lost in deep conversations. Anakin can't stop thinking about her, and she doesn't seem to mind when he holds her hand or tells her that he is going to marry her someday (with a flash of foresight). He sees visions of her in his future, leading an army, older and sadder. She seems to have difficulty leaving him (when she climbs on the Eopi to leave, she doesn't make eye contact and refuses to look back) and Anakin is devastated by her loss. He ends up beating the shit out of Greedo for an unrelated offence, and doesn't even seem to realize what he's doing until Qui-Gon shows up to pull him off.

Later, when he finds out the truth about Padme being the queen, she goes out of her way to find him and make sure he still feels the same about her as he did before. She promises him, on the ship when he gives her the Japor carving, that she will never forget him, the way way she feels about him--even makes a callback to his assertion that they will one day be married.

And this works. It works in a way the movie doesn't, because you get these two people who are both more mature, more grounded than anyone else their age, and they immediately share this intense, overwhelming bond that sort of takes both of them by surprise. It makes sense then, why, meeting years later, they are just as instantly drawn back together.

(In my version of the Clones, with an exaggerated timeline, Anakin and Padme would be on Naboo for close to a year, carefully working to bring about an end to the blockade and invasion, Anakin being trained by Qui-Gon on the dl, and they'd grow ever closer. I'd probably even have their first kiss maybe, during this time--she'd be almost 15, he'd be almost 14 (assuming he's almost 13 when we meet him), and this would enforce their bond.)

My point it, that in the novel, Anakin is intense, smart, deeply connected to the Force, and already aware of his abilities, though not in control of them or truly aware of what they mean. He is kind and thoughtful, but he is also prone to rage and fear, and he struggles with both. He is already terrified of loss, and he struggle with it throughout the novel itself. He also has the intensity that Vader has, the fixation--he's obsessed with Padme from the moment he meets her, and though his obsession is reciprocated, it doesn't make it any less intense. The Jedi, too, are concerned about his rage issues in a way the movie doesn't make clear--so much so that in the book they not only defer making a decision about his training on Coruscant, they expressly forbid Qui-Gon from training him. It's the rage as well as the fear that give them pause.

Overall, the novel sets up an Anakin (and a Padme really) that are believable for the people who they will become. There is an obvious through-line from Anakin to Vader, and it makes for a more cohesive character overall. And having Padme be just as drawn to him from the beginning also helps--their relationship has never been sane or healthy, and that is the point. Two early teens sharing an intense bond that only strengthens with time makes a lot more sense than randomly falling in love with the weird teenager you first met a cherubic child.

I'm curious to pay attention the through lines of this as the novels go on. Up next: Rogue Planet and then The Approaching Storm. (collecting all the novels year ago really was a stroke of genius).

#star wars #anakin skywalker #djem reads star wars #padme naberrie #this is gonna take a while lol

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icharchivist · 2 years

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Mainstream anime has really made people forget what beefy anime men really look like I've noticed. Every now and then I see people going crazy over how ripped a Genshin Impact character and then I look at them and they have pretty much the same physique as Lancelot. It's pretty funny ngl

legit

tbh i haven't kept up with a lot of recent anime but like in my days we called those ikemen and we moved on.

also when it comes to Genshin Impact, it really has the worst case of that going on. Never have i seen this much denial to imply the twinkiest man you've ever seen is actually super buff/have an ass/is ripped.

i'll be honest but i feel also like this is kind of the "first" of many people. I jokingly call it "baby's first gacha" a lot because i really end up running into people who are completely new into the whole scene (it being gacha, rpg, anime/manga style, or Chinese media in general) who walk in with boasted confidence in everything they say.

And it reflects in that way they talk about assets like that and it's honestly pretty funny but also a little sad like man dude you're really that starved huh.

General anime, i think, are not really any better in that case, but it still cracks me up because it's not like beefy men don't exist in those same anime? like the list i saw, that included Dabi from BNHA, also included All Might and Endeavor. Men that technically do apply, but then you really put Dabi on this list? You saw what men with a bigger built look like and you include him? Likewise we were laughing with hxh fans that Illumi was on the list and not like, his father who has the built we would expect. Or what about Uvogin.

It's not like those anime are deprived of men with big built, there's jut a major type of denial going on and it's honestly hilarious.

Like if it was a Genshin only poll i would say they're grasping at straw but poor lads don't really have a real comparaison point when everyone except like 2 npcs, the antagonist enemies, and like, Itto (even if his abs are airbrushed on a thin sprite and it looks so sad i'm so sorry) ends up disqualifying from it to start with.

but in anime with actual diverse body built? what are you doing?

It really is if we made a gbf best tits award and we put Lancelot in it while Wilnas is somewhere else in the poll. The only thing you'd do is making him have an inferiority complex, look at him, this is so sad.

I think Granblue also kinda up the standards a lot bc the buff men aren't relegated to like, minor characters (like the hxh's buff chara i mentioned are so secondary that i can understand people forgetting them). There's a lot of buff, major characters so we're well fed and we have a decent range on what we can consider buff. Esp since there's a lot of different type of buff in granblue in general.

But it really is just. So sad.

I know there's a twitter account called "Pect of the day" who doesn't play Granblue but constantly posts Granblue men because "only Granblue gets me" and they post Reinhardtsar all the time because they find him peak design in that case. And i do remember some people trying to bring some Genshin chara to them (i do think it was Itto already) and them going "do you want me to starve." also if i recall it was around the same time as the dilf sauna event so whoever was behind this account was having a field day and this just took them like ????? seriously? in front of my salad?

I think Granblue just totally redefined my approach on that but it's genuinely so funny to see some pretty twinkish Ikemen in the list. you know a character is allowed to be extremely flat and still be considered sexy right. right. No need to put them through an imaginary inflation for it.

It's so funny. rip to people in saga without actual buff men but we're different, i guess?

#ichareply #infullmoon #sorry for the clowning if you are part of any of the category i'm teasing #godspeed it's just objectively funny #ichafantalks gbf

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cinnamonblueberry22 · 3 years

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I'm done with Adrien Salters. I'll give you the reasons why people salt him and explain why some of them are quite stupid, to say the least.

1. Adrien's advice to Marinette about Lila in Chameleon

Fans are saying that he was guilt-tripping Marinette and wanted to look like the good guy with his advice towards Marinette. Even though that's not the case.

If I'm being honest here, what he said wasn't even that bad IF you focus on his pov, which what you're supposed to do when you wanna hold a character accountable.

He told Marinette to just keep letting her lie to a corner because those lies weren't that effective. And don't say it is effective towards everyone because a lie about meeting a manga publisher isn't going to affect Nathaniel's job life in the future. However yes those lies really were effective to Marinette, but you Salters can't expect him to be eavesdropping on what Lila did to Marinette in the bathroom. She threatened her, yes, but does Adrien know that? No! And I assure you, if Adrien ever knew about it, he wouldn't guilt trip Marinette and defend Lila. That's not him.

Oh and I don't know if you guys seem to forget, but he really tried to speak up about it by being really nice at the same time (Cause he was taught to not get into arguments or bad situations).

"Lila, I'm perfectly fine with being friends with you, and I'll gladly help you catch up on your schoolwork, but please don't lie to me like you did with Ladybug. "

"Ladybugs the liar!"

"I'm not judging you Lila, but instead of making friends, you're going to turn everyone against you! You can tell me if something is bothering you, I can help, but you need to be honest with me. "

"Are you trying to be some kind of superhero by lecturing me like Ladybug did? Well thanks, but no thanks!"

There you have it. That entire conversation. Adrien wanted to help but also wanted Lila to be honest and not make lies, however, that didn't work out. So obviously he thought it'd be best if she lied herself to a corner thinking it wouldn't affect anyone personally but herself. Even though the audience, which is us, knows that Lila has affected Marinette personally. But Adrien doesn't know that! So why salt him for that?

2. Him defending Chloe in Malediktator

I'm pretty sure if you don't know, but Chloe is his childhood friend. He only felt bad because his first friend who wasn't much but really appreciated it left to a whole different location. How would you feel if that happened to you? Plus he didn't even know that she always bullied other people. He started knowing that she always was mean to everyone once he was allowed to go to school. But he didn't condone her behavior in any way possible, in fact, he threatened their friendship if she doesn't start acting like a decent human being. But when he found out that she just won't change, he ignored it. And who wouldn't? Because I would. Just constantly being annoying to everyone and when you try doing something about it but they don't actually listen, who wouldn't ignore them? Also, I don't really think Adrien is that friends with Chloe anymore, if you're still stuck on season 2 while we're at season 4, a time when Adrien knows Chloe literally joined Hawkmoth and he is probably against that.. Then this reason for you salting him is invalid.

3. He sexually harasses Ladybug and is obsessed with her

Now, I actually agree with this statement. I hold him accountable for that. He has tried kissing her countless times, got mad at her for a rose, has a whole gallery of photos of Ladybug, flirts with her, and always does physical touch with her. However, there is a reason why he keeps on doing physical touch when clearly Ladybug is not interested (Even though from the audience's pov, that's not the case). He has experienced this kind of behavior. Lila kissed him on the cheek when he is clearly not interested. Chloe is pushy and keeps kissing Adrien when he's clearly not comfortable with her doing that. All of these are examples of sexual harassment. So it would make sense as to why he perpetuates this kind of behavior towards Ladybug. Am I saying this behavior is okay and should be excused for the reason I brought it up? No. There's always a reason for everything, and this time, it's actually valid why Adrien does this. However, we deserve to see Ladybug somewhat be annoyed or talk to someone about his behavior and she eventually talks to Cat noir about it. And since Cat noir listens to Ladybug all the time, he would listen and understand. He has always been that way when Ladybug was stressed, annoyed, or upset about something.

But if I am okay with this reason as to why you salt them, why did I include this reason? Well, some of these people who acknowledge Adrien's behavior as Cat noir and salt him for that reason are the same exact people who love and stan Marinette. I am not one of those people, but if you are reading this post and you're one of them, just know that you're being dumb. Because Marinette has also done crazy, illegal, and wild things just like Cat noir, but do they acknowledge her behavior? No! But they do for Cat noir? That doesn't make sense. You can't just pick and choose which character you wanna hold accountable for. Hold both of them accountable, it's not a game.

Although if you aren't one of these people, and actually hold both accountable, thanks. I personally don't slander or salt either of them cause I'm not into that, but if you guys do that I don't really mind. Glad to have you here tho.

Overall, some of the reasons why some fans dislike or even hate Adrien are really something else and are probably not watching the show anymore or they are but just decide to ignore Adrien's character in the new episodes.

#miraculous fandom salt #adrien agreste #mlb #mlb fandom #lila rossi #marinette dupain cheng #ml ladybug #cat noir #no salt #adrien sugar

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bronftw · 3 years

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I came across this article, and it got me thinking about neurodivergence and platonic relationships.

Like OP I'd heard of the term aplatonic, but I'd resisted applying the label to myself. It made me kind of uncomfortable, like a flickering light that I'd refused to look at or focus on. I'd think 'that can't be me, I want friends' then move on before I could think about it too much. Because deep down this term struck a chord. One that felt too much like saying 'I'm a bad person who doesn't like their friends'.

But I am bad at maintaining friendships. Not super great at making them either if I'm honest. Most of this can possible be explained by autism, and my struggle with friendships was the primary reason why I'd started suspecting that I might be autistic. (But am I really autistic though?)

I'd heard other autistics explaining how they kind of lack object permanence when it comes to people. Not that they literally don't think that someone doesn't exist when they don't see them, but that they don't think of them. This mirrors my own experience with friends. I don't think of them that often. And if I do and realise that I haven't spoken or seen them in a while, then actually contacting them for catch up takes a lot of energy and mental prep before hand. Phoning people makes me anxious, even for people I talk to all the time and know that I can talk to easily. It's a huge mental effort to go 'I'm going to call Sally today'. Even then I'll probably tidy my bedroom first, do the laundry, vacuum etc., then decide it's too late and put off calling her for another week.

Recently I came across the term 'relationship degradation mechanics' by twitter user Khoshtistic. They described it in terms of their ADHD, but it also describes my own experience perfectly. The term comes about from video games which have a friendship meter for NPCs which either fills up over time, or empties, depending on how often you interact with an NPC. I frequently forget about my friends (that faulty object permanence), I don't message them, call, or organise meet ups. There have been times when I've decided to message someone and then realised that the last time I interacted with them was a year ago. In those instances I often feel so guilty about it that I decide against messaging them completely. Why draw attention to it? When I do happen to catch up with a friend, months or years after I last saw them, I'm often surprised that our friendship bar has degraded. I expect things to be the same as when we last met up, but they aren't.

My partner is always messaging his friends. He is the polar opposite of me in many ways, but especially in this. If he hasn't seen his friends for a while he gets sad and upset about it. When I ask him how long it's been, he'll tell me that it's been ages. But how long is that? A couple weeks, he says. For him those couple of weeks span a millennia, for me that feels like yesterday.

This type of conversation is not uncommon for us:

Him: We haven't seen Sally and John in ages

Me: But we just saw them. Remember? we played board games

Him: That was 2 weeks ago!

Me: Exactly. Only 2 weeks ago.

We both have a very different understanding of time.

His relationship with friendships is informed by his ADHD in a very different way to mine. He worries that if he doesn't stay in contact with people constantly, then they'll think he hates them and subsequently decide that they hate him too. Rejection Sensitivity Disorder (RSD) is a bitch. I'm glad I don't have that, but sometimes I wish I cared a little more than I do.

He cares so much for his friends and what they think of him. Sometimes I feel like I'm not really friends with anyone, and that I'm only preforming friendship. Sometimes I feel like an unfeeling robot, and the ace/aro community often (unintentionally) amplifies that feeling. The uncaring aro or ace person is a common trope that the aspec community rails against, usually by saying that one can still have strong and intimate platonic relationships. However this is something that I don't have either. I'm ace, aro, and at the very least bad at friends. So what does that make me?

#asexual #aspec #ace #aromantic #platonic #aplatonic #neurodivergent #neurodiversity

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

Text

"Not My Yacht" *Chapter 1?*

So this is interesting:

So "Not My Yacht" was my very first fic. Like, I'm talking VERY VERY first.

So when I started asking around about ideas for a new series, a few of my lovelies went through my one shots and this story and "Doodling" got some good votes.

So, I decided to include the one shot and just added to it for a POTENTIAL new series. We'll see how this chapter goes over.

Also I'll be including Rita Calhoun in this for the FIRST time ever, so I may need assistance from @storiesofsvu to get her voice right. I did my best here. I'll be honest I've never really watched her, just that one where that guy blackmailed her or something.

Also Also, if it wasn't obvious enough this is obviously the beginning of the SVU episode "Her Negations".

I don't want to give anything away because I haven't even really thought that far, but I'm 95% sure this is going to turn in a William Lewis situation fic. So...pretty dark. I'm just warning you NOW.

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

And yes, the results are in. There is a part 2!

You breathed in the salty air of the sea of the sunny South Hampton shore; It was a beautiful day for a yacht party.

You walked along the pier as you got closer to your boss’s boat: The Crime Wave. Her husband’s idea of a funny name she claimed as she had invited people from the office to this soiree. You were lucky to even get an invite, just being the assistant to the owner of the law firm. “Who else is going to help me dodge boring conversations with men who just wanted a "free ride” on the bosses boat?“ She had teased you; or at least you hoped she was kidding.

You really wanted to just relax and mingle among the elite lawyers of NYC, seeing as you wanted to be one of them someday.

You saw your boss, Rita Calhoun waving you down as you reached the dock space.

"Ah! There you are, for a minute I thought I’d have to mix my own drinks!” She laughed with a wink. You laugh nervously, unable to discern if she was kidding.

“Calm down sweetie, I’m a big girl. Besides, I like to make them myself, strong,” she laughed again, patting your shoulder. Crap had your face looked that panicked? Keep it cool!

“Go ahead, enjoy yourself. I’ll be here, making sure none of those damn punks tries to sneak on here for free booze,” she scoffed, nodding to a group of highly dressed teens playing chicken on the shoreline.

You nodded with a half laugh, stepping onto the yacht. It was a decent size, a second level deck and a very spacious main level. Not a lot of people had arrived yet, so you decided to pick a spot on the yachts back bench area before all the seating was taken. You began removing your over clothes revealing your swimming wear when you hear Rita greet someone else.

“Ah, Barba. You know we have flare guns on board,”

You turn to see the ADA of New York, Rafael Barba. He’s dressed in a windbreaker and what could be either a dark red or salmon polo. You realize Mrs. Calhoun is referring to the almost neon yellow color of the windbreaker, and you can’t help but giggle. It must have been way too loud because they both turn to you which caused you to immediately shut up and go back to undressing and laying out your towel, but ever so slightly still honed in on the conversation.

“You can never be too careful Rita, who knows how many enemies I’ve made in this town; someone might throw me over,” he smirked.

“And anyone here could make it look like a very convincing accident….even my aspiring protege over there,” Rita nods over to you, knowing full well what you were doing.

Barba turned and looked at you, your body frozen in mid towel thrust. You didn’t know whether to throw it over yourself or just run off the boat right there.

“I know it’s an awful jacket dear, you don’t have to keep staring at him.” She called over to you. God why did she have to be so….her.

“Jesus Rita give the girl a break, or did you invite her just to torture her on unbillable hours?” Barba scoffed with a half smile, walking over to you.

“Is it really worth the minimum wage to put up with her?” He asked.

“Mmm…it’s more for the experience, honestly.” You replied surprisingly smoothly.

“Oh….well I mean I could give you the experience without–” He started but was interrupted by your boss’s loud exclaiming.

“Yeah I’ll BET you’d give her experience Barba! Stop hitting on my intern and mingle with the adults.”

If you could dig a hole straight through the boat into the ocean you would do it right then and there.

“…..Without THAT.” He rolled his eyes, lightly flipping her the bird behind his back. You see her respond with a laugh then turns her attention back to the guests boarding.

“She’s probably been drinking since she got on the boat, yeah?” He asked you.

“I…I don’t know I just got here….” You managed to squeak out as your towel strayed from your hands. Barba grabbed it and helped you reposition it on the bench.

“Kinda windy for a yacht party, but Rita will take any chance to celebrate anything remotely resembling a boost to her ego. Am I right?” He chuckled, before sitting down on your towel.

“Just to keep it from blowing away, do you mind?” He asked, gesturing for you to join him. You nodded a boisterous “NO”, plopping next to him on the bench.

“I’m Rafael Barba,” he extended his hand to you, which you took and shook gently, praying to God he didn’t notice you were literally shaking. You had probably had the biggest crush on him since you started working with Mrs. Calhoun, he was constantly in her office challenging her with warrants and favors.

“Oh yeah I know,” you blurted out, mentally facepalming immediately.

“I see….” He raised an eyebrow. “And you are….?”

You were about to answer when his phone went off. He answered it putting one finger up and mouthing the words “one second.”

“Barba. Yeah….what? Seriously, Olivia? On a Sunday?!” He groaned into his phone with an exaggerated eye roll. He raised his hand and ran it over his face begrudgingly as he talked.

“Yeah….alright, fine. Yeah I’ll be there, give me an hour. I’m in the Hamptons. Because it’s my day off, Liv! Do you think I lock myself in my office over the weekends like a vampire in a coffin? Yeah…I’m sorry, I just…” He glanced at you.

“I was enjoying my Sunday.” He gave you a small sad smile.

“Yeah. Ok. See you soon.” He hung up the phone with an exasperated sigh.

“I’m sorry, I gotta go back to the city. Don’t let Rita push you around too much, okay?” He chuckled, rubbing the top of your head like a puppy. You felt your face scrunch up in annoyance, seriously? He thought of you as a kid?!

He obviously noticed, and quickly held out his hand again very sternly.

“Sorry, future counselor.” He said in an overly serious tone, and you couldn’t stop yourself from giggling. Again. Like an idiot.

Relieved he had fixed his faux paux, he gave you one last beautiful Barba grin as he jogged over to Rita and told her something before nodding to you once again, then walked off the boat and disappearing down the pier.

Your boss sauntered over to you, a shit eating grin across her face.

“Well Cinderella, you sure kept that cool.” She gestured for your phone beside you.

“Be sure to tell him your name this time,” she winked, handing it back to you. You glanced down at it as she walked away; she had added a number to your contacts.

“BHole Barba.” You laughed out loud. Nice. Maybe she wasn’t such a horrible boss after all….

--------------

By Monday you still hadn’t had the balls to text Rafael Barba. You had just stared at the number in your phone, imagining all the possibilities contacting him would lead to. You may have gotten so far as planning your summer wedding in the Hamptons, but nobody needed to know that.

But you had chickened out and left it alone, and now you were sitting at your desk typing up a memo for Rita when you saw him come waltzing through the door.

“Ah, Cinderella!” He smiled at you.

“Hey…” Your mind went blank, you couldn’t think of words. Wait, had he already given you a nickname?

“Cinderella?” You blinked in confusion.

“Well I never caught your name-- But I guess I shouldn’t even push it, you’ve clearly moved on and I must seem like a creep,” His train of thought proceeded out loud as he realized you hadn’t taken his number and here he was still flirting with you. Rita had given it to you, he had seen her type it in your phone. Obviously you weren’t interested, why was he pushing this?

“What? NO!” You said a little louder than you intended, actually a lot louder than you intended. You slapped your hand over your mouth after your little outburst, but to you relief he was still smiling.

“Oh? Well I suppose that’s good…” He was obviously fishing for your excuse as to why you had waited until he popped back in your face to talk to him.

“No, I um--” You racked your brain for an excuse that wasn’t “I was busy planning our lives together”.

“I….couldn’t think of something interesting to say,” You finally admitted with a pitiful sigh. You were not a good liar, and under pressure, forget about it.

Again, he still smiled-- but this time he laughed along with it.

“I mean, ‘Hello’ is always an option,” He chuckled. “Or...your name?”

“Oh!” Idiot. You hadn’t even given him your name, how was he supposed to fall madly in love with you without a name?

“Y/N,” You stuck your hand out awkwardly, Was this a ‘shake hands’ moment? Hadn’t you already met before? You stared at your hand as you moved it slightly back and forth, arguing with yourself whether or not this was necessary. Luckily, Rafael settled the argument by taking your hand and shaking it firmly.

His hands were so soft, his long fingers enveloped yours in them. You lost yourself in the moment, and before you knew it he was making an uncomfortable cough, snapping you back to reality. You dropped his hand and snapped yours back into your body like a zip cord, your face in a horrified stare.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry, that was so weird. I’m weird. I’m--”

“Well I don’t know what you were so worried about Cinderella, you’re clearly a chatterbox,” He gave you a tongued smile, referring to the word vomit you just couldn’t help spill all over him.

“Oh yeah, I’m a total word machine,” You laughed nervously. A word machine? What the fuck was that?

“...Word machine. Right,” He nodded in amusement. “Well word machine, would you mind shooting some words to my phone, or do you just enjoy this face to face thing?”

“With that face? Definitely the latter. But you can have my number anyway,” You typed a quick message and sent it to his number. Damn that was smooth! How did you do that?

Rafael made an impressed face with your line, but when he opened his phone his brows furrowed.

“Hit?” He gave you a curious look as he read the text out loud.

“Fuck it was supposed to be ‘hi’-- stupid autocorrect,” You muttered angrily. Yeah, that was more like you.

“Oh yes, the dreaded autocorrect,” He nodded while saving your number. “Turning fucks into ducks since 2011,”

“Oh I didn’t have a phone in 7th grade but I’ll take your word for it,” You laughed, but stopped when his face twisted into a mix of horror and discomfort when he realized how young you actually were.

Dammit. Why...why would you do this?

“....Right, is Rita in?” He quickly shoved his phone back in his pocket and headed into Rita’s office before you could answer.

“...Idiot!” You yelled at yourself as your hands went over your face and your face planted into your desk.

Well, that was nice while it lasted. All 2.5 seconds of it.

-----------------

“Well Barba, about time,” Rita smirked as Rafael abruptly burst into her office trying to get away from you. “Done flirting with the intern are we?”

“Shut up,” He rolled his eyes, though his face was a deep shade of red.

“Oh no, what happened? Did your dentures fall out in front of her?” She smirked.

“I’m younger than you!!” He scoffed.

“Yeah but I’m not the one trying to boff a 25 year old,” She smirked harder, making Rafael angrier.

“Can I just get the warrant I came here for, Rita?” He huffed.

“Oooh, struck a nerve there, did I?” Rita chuckled as she grabbed some papers from her desk and started to hand them to him. “Barba, for the record I’m really not judging you. If I were 20 years younger, I’d hit it too,”

“Excuse me?”

“I had a lot of ‘cats’ in college,” She winked.

“Wow,” Rafael held up his hands. “Rita, we really don’t need to be that personal.”

“Fine, but all I’m saying is if you like the girl, don’t let a stupid thing like age deter you. Don’t tell her I said this, but she’s actually very competent and organized. I would almost prefer her not to graduate, unless she'd come work for me. She’s going to be a hell of a lawyer,” She gestured outside to your desk.

Rafael looked at the ground as he mulled over what she was saying, a small smile crawled across his lips as she complimented your potential.

“I’ll take that under advisement, Mrs. Calhoun,” He nodded as he walked towards the door with the papers in his hand, a huge smile across his face now.

He walked out to find you cursing at yourself and whimpering in embarrassment at your desk. When you heard the door shut you snapped to attention and stared at him, shocked he hadn't sprinted out of the office like Usain Bolt. Even more shocking was that Cheshire cat grin now upon his face.

“I-I’m sorry, I totally meant I was--” You tried doing math trying to make yourself reasonably older.

“It’s fine,” He chuckled as he put a hand over your counting fingers. You blushed at the touch of his skin on yours again, but quickly shoved your hands under the desk nervously as you tried not to look him square in the eye. His eyes were so gorgeous you were positive staring straight into them would actually get you pregnant.

“So does Rita ever unchain you from this desk?” He smirked as he was now very aware and very amused at how nervous he made you. He may be old, but clearly he’s still got it.

“Oh yeah, if I ask very nicely she let’s me--” You tried to think of something witty, but it wasn’t coming with him staring at you with those eyes. “....Yes,” You wanted to put your hands over your face but you didn’t want it to be a ‘thing’.

“Well, maybe if you’re an extra good girl she’ll let you off your leash early tonight,” He winked.

“....Am I a dog or a toddler in that situation?” You were genuinely asking, but Rafael clearly realized how insulting that must have seemed.

“Oh no no no, I just, shit,” He tried to backtrack but if he was being totally honest, you made him nervous. Maybe he didn’t have ‘it’ as much as he thought.

You noticed he was the one blushing now, oh my god were you making him nervous? QUICK, BE SMOOTH. BE SMOOTHER THAN YOU’VE EVER BEEN IN YOUR LIFE.

“Are you asking me out, counselor?” You did your best “sultry “voice with a bat of your eyes. Were you batting them too much? What was too much? Oh god you’ve done it for too long now. STOP BATTING.

“...I don’t know, guess you’ll have to wait for me to text you, future counselor,” He was impressed by the line, and decided to bow out before either of you made idiots of yourselves again. He gave you a wink and sauntered out of the office.

Great. Now he’ll probably make you wait two days for a--

*BEEP*

Your phone went off in your desk. You pulled it out to see a text message:

BHOLE BARBA: Dinner? Tonight?

You really needed to change his contact name. But that wasn’t the point right now. He just asked you out. Rafael Barba just asked you out. You stared at in your hands, unsure of what to do. Then you realized you couldn’t do this again, you couldn’t just sit there and imagine things, this required an immediate response.

You nervously typed a reply and hit SEND:

Sire ;)

“DAMMIT!!!” You cursed your autocorrect. You instantly sent another text.

Sure***

Before you could lecture yourself again, your phone beeped again:

BHOLE BARBA: Play

Play? What did that--

BHOLE: Okay** ;)

You typed the word ‘okay’ into your text reply bubble, ‘play’ came up in the autocorrect word list.

He was joking with you. He was flirting with you. RAFAEL BARBA WAS FLIRTING WITH YOU.

This work day could not end fast enough.

#rafael barba #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba fanficton #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction #not my yacht #raul esparza

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acklesterritory · 3 years

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That Kind of Love Never Dies_Chapter 1

Hey guys, Now that more voted to split my fictions in 2 parts, I'm back with the first part. I hope you like it. Don't forget to leave me feedbacks. I'll always appreciate them. Love you all.

This is for writing event @tvdspngirl314

My quote is "That kind of love never dies"

Dean x Reader series (just 2 parts)

This chapter words: ~5k

Series warning:

Angst, fluf, smut, angry Dean, hurt Reader, hurt Dean, there's some more but I hate spoilers so I insist on "Angst & Hurt"

It all started with a stupid argument at home. What was it? Three months ago? Sam couldn't remember the exact date but after years, it was the first time this awkward coldness between Dean and Y/n had started to build. He could remember the first time he and his brother came across Y/n like it was yesterday, they were hunting a very nasty creature who used to kidnap young and lonely women at night, then got them wrapped in ropes and ties on a bed in a warehouse to rape, torture and feed on their blood until the victim either died or accepted to turn into one of his kind.

Sam could remember the helplessness in people's eyes too. The pain of the victims' families, the frustration and anger on cops' faces when no one could find the criminal yet, even after the sixth missing girl.

"Sammy, he just kidnapped another girl. And I think I know where he's gonna take her. Let's hunt this son of a bitch."

When Dean was saying that, Sam never expected him to fall in love with the woman they would save that night. Well, unfortunately they weren't fast enough to prevent any harm to the girl. When they arrived and Dean killed the nasty creature, Y/n was almost dead. The monster had already raped her, tortured her … and when he felt the hunters enter the place, he drank almost all of her blood, to gain more energy to fight. So as always, Dean was up to blaming himself. Of course only in his own eyes, not anyone else's.

"Call Cas to come home. Tell him it's an emergency."

Dean told his brother when he finally could get Y/n out of those ropes. And Sam knew he was right. At that point, no one could save Y/n unless God or his angels. Maybe she was not so lucky coming across a nasty supernatural creature like that but she was lucky enough that Cas arrived just on time and healed her. However, angels can only heal physical wounds. But Y/n was hurt much more than that. She couldn't just move on from the things that the bastard had put her through. Even after Cas tricked her brain to forget some certain things, she still had bad nightmares and had this dark shade of hopelessness in her eyes. Soon, she started to eat and talk less and less. And Dean just couldn't let her go. He really wanted to fix all of that for her but she kept shutting him out… until the depression hit her. It was so bad that Cas felt the need to tell them to prepare themselves for her death. Because after all those days and unlike everything else in their lives, The Winchesters were already used to her presence around them; like the way a lonely person can get used to a wounded cat more and faster than anyone else.

"I'm not gonna hunt until I'm sure she can live her normal life." When Dean stated that, Sam really thought he was joking. But after a few days he started to believe it. Dean truly would do anything to keep her alive. From cooking vegetables to laughing at his own dad jokes in front of Y/n to make her smile. That was when Sam started to feel that they can be more than a random hunter/rescued victim relationship! It felt like his brother had finally found his motivation in life: "Saving Y/n."

Gradually Y/n started to respond to this special attention from Dean with trust and smiles. Soon they became a power couple that could motivate each other so easily that sometimes Charlie would call them out. And honestly Sam had no problem with it. In fact Y/n had become his other sister.

"My God, Dean! You're burning up!" It was two day after a werewolf hunt in which Dean had got hurt. At first it was just some scratches on his arms and chest. Yet as the time passed, more symptoms started to appear: headache, pain, fever, cold sweat, even nose bleeding and before they could figure it out, Dean fell unconscious. Apparently the claws of the werewolf were poisonous. However Sam wasn't sure. The only thing he got no doubts about was the fact that it was already too late. Dean couldn't make it to the hospital. So either Sam had to do anything possible to save him or Cas should've picked up his God damn phone.

"No. no, no, no, no. Dean … Dean!!!"

That was when Sam got to hear Y/n's helpless cry and see her true feelings. She was already in love with his brother.

Luckily, unlike typical love stories; no one died that night. Sam's antidote worked. And Dean opened his eyes an hour later.

"Sammy … Y/n?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Y/n grabbed his face and put her thirsty lips on her beloved hunter's, letting the tears stream down on her face… and then his.

"Never do that again." She begged, breaking the kiss, her trembling hands holding Dean's face so she could look into his eyes.

Sam couldn't stop his smile remembering how cute they were. Y/n literally had Dean wrapped around her little finger, to the point he accepted to teach her how to hunt and soon she was part of their team too. Until … a few months ago. After two years of them being constantly close to each other, Sam could tell something was off when Dean started to go out without eating breakfast with Y/n. Of course she got suspicious after the third time and that was when their endless arguments started.

"Why don't you just tell me what's wrong?"

"Because nothing is wrong, Y/n."

Actually there was. Something was VERY wrong. Anyone could tell that just by the change in Dean's eyes whenever he wanted to look at Y/n. Day by day he was getting more quiet and cold. Now they didn't even eat pie together or watch movies late at night. And Sam couldn't ignore his brother being grumpy or drunk on hunts, not anymore.

"Ok man, I've had enough. You either tell me what's wrong with you or next time I won't make any excuses so you can leave Y/n out of our hunt plans. I'm serious, Dean, I'll tell her the truth." He finally said, when they were alone in the impala, on their way to do their next hunt.

"She wants more."

"More?"

"Yeah. Sometimes it's like she sees more in me. She thinks we can have a different life. There's no need for any saying, I can see it in her eyes whenever we accidentally come across some family at a diner that try to feed their kids or people's wedding photos whenever we go to talk with some witnesses or whoever during the research! Sometimes she even looks up wedding dresses or kid stuff on the net!" Dean blew his anger out of his nostrils and sighed, shaking his head.

"Wow." Sam couldn't find the proper word to say but he couldn't hide his surprised face either.

"What?" Dean gave him an annoyed look.

"I mean …" Sam chuckled. "… are you telling me you're actually angry with her for imagining the things you always dream about?!"

"Sam …"

"No, really. I'm just curious. What's wrong with you, man?" Sam asked genuinely, waiting for an answer.

"What's wrong with me?! You think something is wrong with me just because I'm the rational one in this relationship; who's actually able to see the difference between a dream and the reality?"

Yeah, anyone could take that earnest speech, but not Sam. He'd seen and knew enough about his brother.

"What's the reality? Aren't you and Y/N living that dream life already?"

"What?! No. No … that's not the same." Dean shook his head.

"Really? How is it not? It's been two years, Dean. You two are constantly with and/or around each other. Always worried when the other one is in trouble and still looking at one another like there is nothing in the world that can make you happy as much as this relationship. So … excuse me if I won't buy your pretty speech; man ." Sam said, Rolling his eyes.

"Ok, let's say you're right but ... is it gonna be like that forever? With all the supernatural crap that we have to take care of … and the constant danger and chaos in this hunter life we have… I …"

"You what?" Sam asked when Dean didn't finish his sentence. He was lost in his thoughts, staring at this unknown point in the depth of the road. Finally he blew out his despair.

"I just can't let her fall for the things I know I can't provide for her. It's not fair, Sammy. It's not fair to lock her up in this dark life with me just because she loves me … especially while I know there is a whole bright future out there waiting for her."

"Here we go, the old Dean's self-doubt" Sam thought to himself as he took a deep breath before finding the best words to wake his brother up from this nightmare

"Yeah, I know but I don't think it's your call. If Y/n wants to go to hell with you instead of living in heaven with someone else, it's her choice. Not your responsibility. Right?"

Dean shook his head while his lips curved up a little to fake a smile but he never answered or said anything about that conversation ever again. He kept his silence for like three weeks … until someone new showed up: "Gary Smith". A tall man with the most stylish haircut and the most perfect teeth and smile.

They saw him for the first time at their hangout bar, as the new bartender who almost jumped in Y/n's way as soon as they entered the bar.

"Oh my God, bunny! Is this really you?" He said, pulling her in his embrace. Like she was the long time missing piece of his beloved puzzle!

"Bonny? You're wrong. Her name is Y/n." Dean said, pretty annoyed by the way Gary tightened his arms around Y/n's little shoulders, making him chuckle.

"No, uh … it's just a nickname." Y/n said as soon as the guy let her go.

"Yeah, actually the most fitting nickname that I could think of. I mean … you have to agree. She got the most cute little ears in the world." The guy explained, chuckling and pulling on her little star earring. Well, if Sam wanted to be honest, he had to agree with him. He never paid any attention to it before but now that Gary mentioned it, he could tell Y/n's ears were truly small.

"I see … So … I guess this means you were close friends?" Dean said, already hating the way Y/n e's blushed with hearing her old nickname.

"Uh … well, no. Actually more than that." The guy grinned, ruffling his own hair while he was awkwardly laughing and looking at Y/n. Just like a proud embarrassed teen!

"We used to date." Y/n said.

*oh* Sam tried his best not to let that stupid grin sit on his lips but Dean's frown and his sudden heavy silence didn't let him do so.

"Yeah. We are kinda each other's first. Like … you know? prom date." The man added, giving Y/n a wink while Dean's gaze was still locked on his large arm around her shoulders.

"Yeah. It's been years, Gary."

"I know. But believe me, bunny. you still look the same." He said, bending to put a kiss on her right cheek.

Dean would kill him. Sam just knew that. Because his brother's eyes were already burning with jealousy.

"By the way, don't you wanna tell me who these gentlemen are ?" The guy asked Y/n, giving her his softest smile.

"Of course. This is Sam and this is Dean. My colleagues who are my friends now. I live in their place."

After they met, everything got even more complicated. Y/n, the girl who was still trying to get old-happy-days Dean back suddenly stopped whatever she used to do. No more complains, no waiting at nights to see Dean before going to bed, no more effort to get involved in hunts, no nothing. And despite what Dean had claimed before, it was making Dean even more frustrated. Day to day he and Y/n were getting colder towards each other and there was nothing he could do to fix it. That was what made him even more furious. Sam already knew all of that and he still had to live with both of those grumpy faces. So last night when they began to fight, he could see this was coming: Y/n left the bunker after Dean let some hurtful things out of his mouth, just because he didn't know how to deal with all the heartache anymore. He now was convinced that Y/n didn't love him anymore. Yet the next day after drinking whatever strong drink they had, he begged Sam to come with him. Apparently Jodie texted Dean about Y/n being in her place for that night. Just to make sure that her crazy step son won't sell his soul over a tracking spell! So Dean almost begged his brother to be there with him, cause Dean believed that as much as Y/n didn't care about him, she still respected Sam and cared about him. Like a little sister and her elder brother.

So here they were, In Jodie's living room, in front of her and Y/n.

"Considering your sleepy eyes, I think we caught you at bed time, huh?" Sam asked, checking Y/n's obvious eye bags.

"Who says that? I'm totally good, Sam."

She said with a small smile, looking much more in control and stronger than before. So Sam knew it was a lie. Y/n Just had made her peace with what had happened last night. The realization۹ kicked Dean in the gut. Y/n always used to be stronger and bolder when she got hurt.

"I'm gonna make some coffee for us. Why don't you guys take a seat till I come back?"

Jodie interrupted, to ease the heavy and sharp silence that suddenly had fallen over all of them.

Y/n gave her a smile.

"Of course."

It was so fake. Her smile didn't even curl her lips completely. She was still badly hurting.

Sam swore in his head when he looked over his brother who sank silently into the nearest seat at the end of the table like a broken shell that he was too . One of Dean's hands was in the pocket of his jacket, the other formed a fist on the table. Sam was sure Dean knew it too. He knew everything was almost past saving. "Almost". Sam tried to stick to their small chance.

"So …" He cleared his voice before he put some (semi fake) hope into his words."You're … you're gonna come back home today or did Alex and Claire made you promise them otherwise?" He laughed and tried to make it funny but the truth was he asked this for Dean's sake, knowing he already was struggling to find the words … to let Y/n know how much he wanted her back … to ask her to come back.

"To be honest … I don't think I can live in the bunker anymore." Y/n said and as Dean's head snapped up to look at her in horror, she raised her hand to stop his (likely) protests.

"I applied for a job 3 weeks ago and to my surprise they called me this morning to tell me I'd actually got it."

*What?*

No one had to ask it. The question was already hung in the air. She snored mockingly in her nose. "Perfect timing, right?"

She moved her gaze from her interlocked fingers on the table to Dean's eyes.

He didn't answer, he didn't move but he got tense. Still staring back at Y/n.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Sam asked, once again saving Dean from asking the question he was itching to ask with some other words that for sure couldn't be nice.

"I wanted to but I didn't think I could actually get it and even if I did, I never figured out how to tell you. Besides, I never considered the "move out" option before..." She looked at Sam for a second before she turned her gaze on Dean. "... But I actually appreciate that you bring it up. I think now I can take the advice. I'm gonna move on."

Sam's heart dropped in his stomach when he heard those words. Because he knew what this meant. It felt something like having to watch Dean get stabbed in the heart.

"Is this … because of that Bartender?" Dean asked, staring deadly at Y/n with his bloodshot eyes. He was already chewing on his bottom lip. And Sam knew a heavy storm was on its way to hit them.

"I don't want to answer that question."

*shit*

"Why? Because you can't just simply say no?" Dean scolded and Sam could see how it pushed on Y/n boundaries.

"No. Because it's not your fucking business and it's not Gary's business either. But at least he knows his limits."

*well, fuck*

"By "limits" you mean when he drools on you just because for God knows whatever the reason, you started to wear leather jackets when we go there?"

"WHAT?!"

*Oh, fuck* Sam thought to himself, watching Y/n rise from her seat.

"You think … you really think that I …" she laughed nervously and Sam could tell she would punch Dean in the face if she wasn't a sweet, super nice person.

"How you can even …"

"I can even what, Y/n? Are we now going to pretend like I'm a blind man who can't see how you got attracted to your ex again? Did you really think I couldn't see how your hands were shaking when his filthy face lighted up by seeing you for the first time after all these years?"

Sam wanted to interrupt him or at least leave the room but everything was happening so fast.

"So what? Why and since when you care about my private life?"

"Since you stopped drinking bunker's beers just because you rather drink those crappy poisonous cocktails he makes at the bar!"

Dean was on his feet now as well. And despite his will, Sam couldn't stop his smile. He never saw his brother this jealous before. It was fun.

"Poisonous? … You … of all people, you are the one who says this? cause as much as I know, you're the one who puts dormitives in my guest's food so the poor guy gets tired and can't spend his time with me!"

"Yeah, because your poor guy is not welcomed in MY PLACE!" Dean yelled, punching the table with so much power that made everyone almost jump out of their skins.

"Dean!" Finally Sam interrupted but as soon as he stood up, someone rang the doorbell and Sam could hear Jodie welcoming someone inside.

"Guys … I know it's not my place to interfere but you two really need to sort things out somewhere private … of course that's when both of you can be much calmer than this."

"No, we have nothing to say or to talk about, anymore. Your brother was clear enough when he said he wants me to move out, so I'll move out. And that's it."

Y/n declared, looking at Sam to resist any eye contact with Dean, probably to make him even more crazy.

"And that's it? You wanna ignore that part where you were too eager and ready to accept that suggestion and leave the bunker instantly like your pants were on fire?!"

Dean retorted while Y/n was shaking her head like she couldn't believe him.

"Whose pants are on fire?" Jodie interrupted as soon as she re-entered the room with the coffees she'd made, this time a man was with her. Y/n's guy. The famous bartender.

*Oh, No!*

Sam sighed, closing his eyes for a second so the guy couldn't read his face.

"Obviously not mine." Dean hissed through his teeth, looking first at the guy and then at Y/n with such a disappointment and rage that no one could ignore.

"Hey, what's wrong?" The guy asked, choosing the worst spot to stand on: right next to Y/n.

"My typical life I guess. Nothing's new." She mumbled in reply to him but her eyes were still on Dean.

"No, nothing is wrong with your life, Y/n. It's about your choices. That's what's wrong with you. As always." Dean said bitterly. As sharp as a knife, as cold as ice. Sam could see how it drained color from Y/n's face.

"You better watch your mouth, buddy." The Gary guy warned Dean and Sam could tell that if it wasn't for the sudden thud sound that stole everyone's attention, Dean would throw a fight right there. But …

"Y/n!" Jodie almost screamed. Y/n was laying on the floor, seemingly unconscious.

"Oh, God." Sam said as Jodie rushed to her.

"Y/n? … Y/n can you hear me?"

As she sat next to her, Gary's fingers already were on Y/n's carotid pulse point. So Sam couldn't stop himself from looking up at his brother, who was still standing where he was. In shock.

"Oh, shit!" Gary's worried voice made Sam check Y/n's pale face again but Jodie was the one to dare ask the question which was on everyone's minds.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Her pulse ... too faint." He said before turning to Dean: "Is she bleeding?"

"Bleeding?" Dean blinked and mumbled in confusion.

If it was up to Sam, he'd ask *What bleeding?* & *Why are you asking this from my brother?*

"Oh my. You still don't know. Do you?" Gary sneered.

"Know what? What's happening?" Jodie was freaking out now and Sam actually felt the same. He didn't like the way this stranger pretended like he knew her better than them. However what happened next was much more unexpected. And … rude!

To everyone's surprise, the guy reached out to Y/n's jeans and drew his hand between her legs but before anyone could react, he spread her legs open so it could be possible for everyone to see that big red stain there. Then he raised his hand. It was all wet and red in blood!

"She's having a miscarriage." He revealed.

Sam's gaze instantly caught Dean's ... Burning. Dean was burning inside with his heavy silence.

"Don't you worry. It's not mine." Gary added more fuel to that hell with such a mocking tone, staring right back at Dean's eyes.

Now Sam could feel it. The storm was there: rising in his brother's roar!

Before Sam could've moved any muscles, Gary was already pinned to the wall, Dean's hands on his now-ripped-out collar.

"Dean, no!" Sam jumped in, trying to catch his brother's arm before his fist make any contact with the guy's nose but all he could do was changing the direction of the punch which landed on Gary's shoulder, making a painful cracking sound.

"I said no … Dean, stop it." Sam had to literally cage Dean in his arms so the furious man couldn't tear Gary apart.

"Get off me, Sam. This son of a bitch has to learn his place."

"Enough!" As Dean just broke himself free, Jodie's scream stopped everyone in their tracks.

"It's enough!" Jodie warned all three men, pointing at them one by one.

"You want to fight? Not here. Not in my house!"

"But ..."

As soon as Dean opened his mouth to protest, Jodie cut him:

"And you … you should know Y/n is pregnant with your twins. So … you'll be a responsible man who will try his best to save them or you can get the hell out of here and never come back!"

"What?" Sam was too shocked to suppress his reaction while Dean couldn't even find any words to say. His confused look darted between Jodie's face and Y/n's figure while his parted lips kept moving without making any noise, just like a dying fish on the shore!

"I promised her not to tell anyone but it was a promise under normal conditions, not this." Jodie sighed, struggling to keep her emotions under control. Sam saw the worry in her frown. Like a real mother, worried for her children. However it was nothing in comparison to his brother's blank eyes and pale face.

"Dean, It's ok. We just need to take her to hospital. … it's ok, man. I promise."

He had to grab Dean by his jacket, as his brother was struggling to process all of these in his head.

"Come on, man. We got no time. Do I need to do this alone or you'll …"

"Get the car, Sammy."

It was just a simple sentence. Yet it had enough power to make Sam's heart sank. Since Dean had put the car keys in his hand saying that, Sam couldn't stop thinking about that tone. Dean never had called Baby a "car" In years. And Sam had never heard that crack in his voice since their Dad's death.

"You ok?" He finally let himself ask, two hours after they arrived at the hospital.

"I want to be." Dean closed his eyes and put his head against the cold wall, letting the dim light to darken the shadows under his eyes.

"I'm sure she'll be good. She's strong, Dean. You know that."

He smiled and Sam looked away not to watch him. He knew that smile. Dean used to give him that, whenever everything was gone so wrong that Dean couldn't promise him anything good. Like when both of them were still kids. Hungry, cold and all alone in a rusty motel room where John had left them on their own for a one day long hunt but then a heavy snow had crashed the roads and kept them apart for half a week. So Dean had to wash the dishes and do the laundry in the motel to rent the room for another day and provide some snacks so they wouldn't starve to death. But after three days, the hotel managers didn't want them to be around. And Sam could vividly remember that smile on his brother's face when he asked: *Where should we go then?*

"You were always such a father material. You know?"

Sam admitted with a broken smile on his face.

"You were always responsible, kind and caring with me as a kid. And I can't imagine anyone who deserves to be a father more than you."

Dean took a deep breath and opened his eyes without looking at him: "But I don't want ... I really can't, Sammy."

All, it certainly wasn't the response Sam had expected. He used to believe that Dean would never turn down any chance to start a family with Y/n. Especially after everything in the world was back to normal.

"Are you kidding me? You always wanted this."

"No …" Dean finally turned his gaze to meet his brother's confused eyes. "No, Sammy. Not like this. I don't want to raise another kid without his mom. I'm not that strong anymore."

Dang. Once again Sam's heart dropped in his stomach. Dean was really helpless.

"Mr. Winchester?"

Dean was on his feet as Sam just realized the doctor's presence.

"It's me."

Sam prayed for any good news as doctor took a glance of Dean and fixed his glasses on his face …

"To be continued …"

READ CHAPTER 2 HERE

tag list:

@jay-and-dean @adoptdontshoppets @akshi8278

The next and also ultimate chapter will post on Sunday, April 25. Thanks for reading.

Feedback are always appreciated.

#dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean x ofc #dean x you #dean winchester #allyswritingevent #Acklesterritory #dean winchester x ofc #dean x y/n #dean winchester x you

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nexyra · 3 years

Text

RWBY's Love Language - Part 2

Hello friend ! I'm back at it with a second part and whatever character I can think of ! (Among which best boy Oscar because he deserves it, and also more adults)

Let's go !

***

Oscar Pine

So ! While I love Oscar with my whole heart, honestly guessing his Love Language is no easy feat. One thing for sure : touch isn't is thing even if it's how everyone else chose to communicate their love.

I saw a post a while back detailing how Oscar is always putting his hands up as a barrier when he's scared or uncomfortable and that makes me cry a little instead but it's true TT. Anyway...

In the latest volumes we've got quite a bit of comforting Oscar-talks but I have to wonder how much of that is due to Ozpin's influence really. As a result I've decided to settle on... Acts of Service or Quality Time ! This is based on a few details : when people are upset with him in one shape or form, Oscar was always very eager to prove himself useful, give some aspect of concrete help (such as cooking a Casserole, ringing any bell ?). Plus I imagine that's the exact brand of help his Aunt would have needed most on a farm. Added to that, he always seems fairly happy to be included, be with the others no matter what's going on. Training ? Yay ! A movie with Jaune & Weiss ? Smiling puppy look. Fancy party ? Shenanigans together ! So yea, I love seeing my boy loved and hugged but please everyone settle for the loving he's most comfortable with <3

“She made a choice! A choice to put others before herself! So do I.”

“Oh, uh, yeah. I thought you guys would appreciate a hot meal after... spending all day looking for me, apparently.”

“No, it's okay. These past few days, I've been scared of the same things you were. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be... me. But I did some thinking, and I do know that I want to do everything I can to help with whatever time I have left.”

- - - - - - - - - -

Ozpin

For our favorite immortal wizard aka not quite dead Headmaster... I think the answer is rather obvious. When you're so careful with your words, but also so fiercely devoted to humanity, Words of Affirmation is a must. Ozpin constantly does his best to calm, to reassure. He's good at controlling the conversation and getting people where he wants... Except he more often than not use it to make them think and help them reach an healing ore motivating conclusion. This man is so insisten on giving and cultivating hope, so painfully aware of just how much words can change... There's no doubt in my mind that it's through these very same words that he tries to fight the darkness in others' mind, even when they don't want to let themselves be persuaded. And with some help from the farmboi, Ozpin is gaining in honesty and earnestness. And that can only help in giving comfort.

But to be honest... If you offer him a hug I doubt he'd refuse, and he definitely deserves one. Also therapy. For Oscar too. Everyone in therapy 2k21.

“Ruby. I've made more mistakes than any man, woman, and child on this planet. But at this moment I would not consider your appointment to leader to be one of them. Do you?”

“It's not every day that friends are able to come together like this. Time has a way of testing our bonds, but it's nights like these that can help keep them stronger than ever. Nights like these are ones we'll never forget.”

“Don't worry, Mr. Arc. Your journey is far from over, and the same might be said for all of you. Unlocking your Semblance isn't the end. It can still grow and evolve. Providing you are willing to put in the work, who knows what could happen?”

- - - - - - - - - -

Emerald Sustrai

Now here I'm gonna go ahead and say that the way Emerald has been taught to express her love and the way SHE would rather preffered to be loved most likely do not align. At the side of someone like Cinder, and even Mercury who isn't exactly the most emotionally vulnerable person; the only brand of love that gets an easy pass is Acts of Service, and that's probably what Emerald is the most used to. I can go on a mission with you. I can help. We go right back to the "I can be useful" mentality and I'm not sure she's been shown any other way honestly. Let's be real though : if someone offered a hug or some gentle words ? She'd probably pout & fuss but I hardly doubt she'd object.

“I don't care about Salem! But I owe Cinder everything. You want to fight her that bad? Be my guest.”

“I just... Cinder was the only family I ever had. She cared about me, taught me things... But without her here, I don't know if what we're doing--”

“I've been working on my Semblance. I can help. I won't tell anybody.”

- - - - - - - - - -

Pyrrha Nikos

What's with everyone and dedicating their whole love toward just helping their teammates anyway they can ?! Stop ! But any way, you guessed it. I'm pretty sure one of Pyrrha's top way of showing love is Acts of Service, and nothing means quite as much to her as Quality Time. For someone who's been put on a pedestal and has a hard time relating to people; both touch and words can be a bit awkward. But if they're wrapped up neatly in a training session or semblance explanations ? Well that's already a more familiar area. Pyrrha gives her whole to her friends and those she cares about. And in exchange, if anyone can simply... be there and spend time with her... May it be at the ball or simply sitting in the courtyard... I'm sure our girl would be delighted.

“Jaune, you know if you ever need help, you can just ask.”

“I'm constantly surrounded by love and praise; but when you're placed on a pedestal like that for so long, you become separated from the people that put you there in the first place. But thanks to you, I've made friendships that will last a lifetime.”

“I'll do it. If you believe this will help humanity, then I will become your Fall Maiden.”

- - - - - - - - - -

Qrow Branwen

If I say Gift Giving for the corvid, is someone gonna hit me ? Come on it's fun ! Okay, more seriously... I think this kind of love conversation is kind of a necessity for Qrow. With a semblance such as Bad Luck, making everything complicated... Qrow tries to keep his distance from those he cares about. And since he's an emotionally repressed (but caring) asshole on top of it... Well that kinda narrows down his option. You know what DOESN'T put anyone at risk but can still bring smiles on their face ? GIFTS. Shiny things, souvenirs from his missions all over the world to give to 2 smol nieces. Sounds safe right ? That said, as any good emotionally unavailable character in this show, I gotta say Qrow probably has a thing for helping out and making himself useful in relation to Oz, Tai or the rest of the inner circle. So you know what that means *whisper* Acts of Service.

That said ! When it comes to receiving some love back... Qrow probably likes everything he doesn't allow himself to have. Soft touches, loving & comforting words, spending time with a friend without his semblance making everything complicated... We know that's all he wants.

“You idiot. I know you didn't do this.”

“Look, pal, I'm not sure who you are, but you need to leave my niece alone.”

“No one wanted me... I was cursed... I gave my life to you because you gave me a place in this world... I thought I was finally doing some good...”

- - - - - - - - - -

Clover Ebi

And among our newbies (and gone too soon) friends we have Clover ! Clover was a very good contrast to our dusty old crow but also a great help. Kind-hearted, perceptive and honest; he knew just how to put Qrow's self-loathing in his place and push him to give himself some credit. He always had a nice word or a joke for everyone, and visibly the rock of the Ace Ops : an expert a keeping the moral up and the mood companiable. Evidently, Words of Affirmation was his expertise. Had things gone differently, I'm sure we'd have had time for many more earnest and helpful conversations with this teal-eyed fisherman.

“It's a good thing they had someone to look up to and get them through it. Not everyone is so lucky.”

“I meant deflect a compliment. Those kids wouldn't be where they are without you. You've had more of an effect on them than you realize.”

“We don't have to fight, friend.”

- - - - - - - - - -

Winter Schnee

And today in the "emotionally unavailable" category we have... Winter Schnee ! TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS PEOPLE ! Just - I would say look at Ruby but even she doesn't talk about her bad vibes... Nor does any of the "Words of Affirmation" peeps. Honestly what's wrong with y'all people ? Anyway Winter cares so much. Is it hidden behind professionalism and a stern *big sister* demeanour ? Sure. But it doesn't negate just how much she loves her closed ones. She's fiercely loyal, and even if she doesn't let her personal feelings get in the way of her duty and doing what needs to be done, no one is allowed to say she doesn't care. Countrary to Weiss, Winter doesn't seem as good nor as aware of the love that exists in simply *being* with people. Rather, she's dutiful and ready to help any way she can when given the chance. You guessed it, yet another Acts of Service kind of love... Maybe I'm doing this wrong XD. I'm on the fence about Words of Affirmation as well. Despite her standoffish looks, Winter has always been very open & reassuring during her discussions with Penny. But she's more stern when it comes to Weiss so I dunno x)

“I don't recall asking about your ranking, I'm asking how you've been. Are you eating properly? Have you taken up any hobbies? Are you making new friends?”

“You've grown up a bit, haven't you? You're not the little girl clinging to the family name anymore.”

“You can't just buy trust like everything else! You have to earn it!”

And that's it for Part 2 ! I might do some other characters if people suggest some but I don't have a pressing need to right now. I have many ideas of songs to apply to various characters however so that's prob what my next posts will consist of (or fun templates)

If anyone has tips to create RWBY gifs or links to download the eps in good quality I'll take it ! Good day everyone !

#rwby #oscar pine #emerald sustrai #ozpin #winter schnee #qrow branwen #clover ebi #pyrrha nikos #love language #fair game #love langauges

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dangertoozmanykids101 · 2 years

Note

In honor of my beloved @joyfullymassivewhispers asking me these interesting questions, I thought I would do the same with some of my favorite writers. So, darling @dangertoozmanykids101 could I trouble you to answer questions #6, #11, and #9?

The Happy Fic Writer Ask Game

1. What part of the writing process is the most enjoyable?

2. Talk about a favorite comment you received.

3. Have you received any bookmark notes? Which is your favorite and why?

4. Which comment has had the most impact on your writing?

5. Have you had a writer you admire comment on your fic? What was that like?

6. Describe what you do and your feelings after posting a chapter. (For example: When do you usually post a fic/chapter update? How do you celebrate a posting? Are you the type to refresh constantly?, etc.)

7. What do you love most about being a fic writer for your fandom?

8. Talk about any friends/connections you've made as a fic writer.

9. What inspired you to write your first fic?

10. Why do you continue writing fics?

11. Who is your favorite character(s) to write about and why?

12. What is your favorite theme/subject matter/trope/ship to write about? Why?

13. Describe your writing style. If you were to participate in an anonymous fic writers guessing game (like The Masked Author), what writing habits do you have that would be a dead giveaway that it's you?

14. Share a snippet.

Oh my Beloved @caffiend-queen !! For you, I shall answer this!!!

Not that I wouldn't answer for others as well, but my ratio of follow-through versus half-finished sitting in my drafts is a bit lopsided toward the latter.

But for you my dearest @caffiend-queen

**** TODAY **** I shall finish an answer to an ask and actually post it!! WOOHOO!!!

#6. Describe what you do and your feelings after posting a chapter.

So I have a very difficult time finishing anything. I have so many half started and almost done fics just begging for that final polish. Unfortunately they just sit there. *sigh.

BUT WHEN I DO POST.....

I am on top of the world and can't resist telling everyone that "I did it!!" including a household of people who couldn't care less. They're no fun at all.

Validation and praise is so ADDICTIVE! Ever since the first time you, @caffiend-queen , said you thought I was funny — I've been hooked ever since!

Did anyone see it? Did anyone see it? I'll be honest. If one or two friends read and comment, then my heart is filled up to the brim. Everything comes up roses!

#11. Who is your favorite character(s) to write about and why?

Initially I wrote a few Fassbender fics - RPF or AU. I was obsessed with the idea of him in scrubs as a nurse. Nurse!Fassbender - can't you see it? (Haven't posted anything of those yet.) I was head over heels for him at the time.

Then I started seeing Hiddleston in a zillion different AU, as well as a couple RPF. I couldn't get enough reading and couldn't stop writing down thought after thought after thought. Laing and Sharpe talk VERY loudly in my brain.

@redfoxwritesstuff , @alexakeyloveloki, @devikafernando, @bambamwolf87, @nildespirandum as well as you @caffiend-queen listened to hours and hours of me throwing ideas around. Thank you sooo much!

@thewidowlaufeyson-blog truly boosted my confidence. I'll never forget how much fun we had knee deep in a humid murky southern AU story. Again never finished, but a huge part of my heart.

Loki has always intimidated me. But I've been pushing myself since I started hanging out with Loki's Library on Discord. They've been an excellent inspiration and so supportive, especially @latent-thoughts who showed me how exciting it is to write WITH someone and @boredbrooder, my partner in crime more often than not.

Recently I can't get enough of Sebastian Stan's characters. I've lost interest in RPF, and just choose one of his incarnations to star in the AU flavor of that day. Omg. TRULY can't get enough of him!!

I have a couple Chris Evans incarnations. But nowhere near ready to post.

#9. What inspired you to write your first fic?

I'm a voracious reader, especially with fanfiction. I can't get enough! I came for the smut and stayed for the amazing writers here. Such talent!!! And so welcoming and fun to talk to; to spitball and brainstorm with: to joke and laugh together; and share our dreams and nightmares completely free of judgement.

I started writing because I wanted to play too! I wanted to give back. I wanted to share my insane crazy wild ideas with these amazing people I met here.

I WANT TO PLAY TOO!

@mooncat163 taught me how to do a read-more break on the phone app. First time ever that it worked!!!! BLESS YOU!!!

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retphienix · 3 years

Text

youtube

I'm not sure if I should make this the finale post or not to be honest because I plan on playing some of the DLCs soon, so I'll make this a 'light' finale post because I'm sure I've said more than enough through my playthrough.

Morrowind genuinely surprised me. I heard all the oldguard TES fans saying it's way different and some claiming it was miles better.

Specifically I remember when Oblivion came out I heard from somewhere that Oblivion was just "dumbed down Morrowind" and kid me was like "What the heck are you talking about, Oblivion is the best game in the world (right now)???"

But man, they weren't wrong, but that's hardly what I'd point at in Morrowind in comparison.

Then again my memory of Oblivion is all rose tinted nostalgia and half memories.

What Morrowind is to me today is a fantastic fantasy game with some really interesting lore, a villain I love, a world that feels alien, troubled, imperfect and intriguing, and a gameplay cycle that felt really satisfying to me from the very start to roughly level 20 or so.

I REALLY like how pitiful and overwhelmed I felt at the start of this game- it felt fucking awesome to me and I know for some that's a weird statement and others it's the most obvious thing in the world but man is it true.

Level 1 in Morrowind as a newbie who doesn't know up from down is like waking up in the woods naked with the sound of hungry wolves all around you.

It's brutal, and exciting- every little victory- a potion, a new dagger, a new piece of armor- feels like the world to you.

I LOVED the early game in Morrowind, more than I ever liked it in Oblivion, Fallout 3, Fallout NV, Skyrim, or Fallout 4 (yeah I'm looping the bethesda engine NV in).

Because I constantly felt like I was punching up at a behemoth but I was getting away with it from time to time until I started to feel more on par with the behemoth, and eventually I overcame and hit end game and really became the behemoth and that was fun in its own right.

But I've been "mega end game god" in like 900 dang games at this point, it's always fun! And feeling like I earned it (like here) makes it feel better! But the journey often beats it and Morrowind's journey was so fun to me.

But yeah, beat the main quest. I did a lot in this game, and barely scratched the surface.

Beating it immediately made me think of how fun it would be to challenge myself to beat it- or another objective- right from the start without dumping hundreds of hours into leveling because that early game is a treat.

About the only things I didn't fully love were most of the quest designs showing their age.

Nothing super egregious, but there really was a lot of extremely simple "fetch thing" "Kill thing" "Walk to place" quests that didn't hold additional story value to make up for it.

Not to say simple is bad, but to say having a LOT of my playtime being killing various creatures for no real story reason beyond being asked to makes some actions feel pointless and like busy-work.

There were also quests that DID tie story in, which was really nice to see- things like inter-guild relations becoming a thing for some quests, or some quests having consequences further down the quest chain depending on how you completed it, and of course (as implied) some quests having multiple solutions with some of those solutions being interesting in how you find out about them.

I mean I think it's really neat how the fighter's guild has like 4 quest givers and if you blindly follow them you'll be doing all kinds of questionable stuff with questionable end goals, but if you talk to each of them you'll find that one of them is much more trustworthy and honorable than the rest, and it becomes a common loop to be sent on a quest for the FG and swing by him to ask if the quest sounds legit- AND MANY AREN'T! AND HE OFFERS ALTERNATIVE SOLUTIONS! THAT'S COOL AND LET'S YOU MAKE THE MISTAKE OF BEING TOO LOYAL AND FORGETTING YOUR MORALS BECAUSE YOU ARE "JUST PLAYING A GAME" BUT REWARDS YOU FOR QUESTIONING THAT LOYALTY AND SEEKING ALTERNATIVE SOLUTIONS! THAT'S AWESOME! Though the solution almost always being "just talk to the good guy before you do the quest" was slightly lacking, but such a cool idea.

But there wasn't a ton of this, but there also wasn't not a lot of this- it was an idea they clearly considered playing with and did when they could- I just wish there were both more and that it was used more on the menial tasks you're asked to do as well. I'm a sucker for multiple solutions is all, and consequences appearing later and altering how events play out or quests line up is always cool and I think it only happens a couple times in some guild quests if I'm not mistaken-

But again, I didn't do much in the grand scheme of things lol.

A TON of time invested and still, a metric fuckton to do including 100% of both expansions lol.

So- Morrowind. I really like this game :)

I think it's my favorite TES game, though I might change my mind whenever I revisit TES4, but I can at least say it's my favorite early game BY FAR and PROBABLY my favorite TES game.

I wonder if I can get buff enough to kill Dagoth Ur with like potion abuse. I haven't looked into it, all I know about him (and I knew before this gameplay also, I was just attacking out of curiosity) is that phase 2 rapidly regens health at like 2 billion a second or something, so you have to one shot him if at all possible.

Also I knew that he was supposed to be weaker depending on how many ash vampires you killed, but that that wasn't properly implemented (and I don't think the morrowind code patch bothers fixing it?).

Anywho- great game. I've been playing a lot of good games lately now that I think of it. I mean most of this blog is me playing good games, but I feel like, and I could be mistaken, but I feel like there was a stint there where I was playing "complicated" games and "games I don't enjoy but want to see the merit of so I'm being a sourpuss while I play".

Now I feel like the last 10 dang games were strictly good and or great. Can't say that's a bad thing :)

If you haven't ever played Morrowind before but you're familiar with say Skyrim, I'd honestly say give it a look. A look first- because it's a thick game to begin and you might be able to discern it's not for you based off a look- but a look none the less.

It's Skyrim with more RPG nonsense going on and a more brutal "rags to riches" hero story for your protag. Might be up your alley as much as it ended up being up mine :)

So up next is EITHER an entirely different game with some ocassional Morrowind posts as I touch on the expansions, or more direct Morrowind content as I emphasize the expansions until I finish them, but I'm leaning towards the former.

I think beating the main quest has earned Vaksten the Idiot a short break.

#RetPlays #Morrowind #TES #The Elder Scrolls #Also maybe I should make a new character for the expansions so I'm not OP but I dunno #might just crank the difficulty to max instead of leaving it unaltered and say that's good enough :P #Youtube

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shyrose57 · 3 years

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It works very much like illusions. Ranbob can see him but can't touch him. While Dream can touch him (though it feel like more of a faint touch). The entire time Ranbob feels like he's dreaming but due to physical evidence, like notes left by Dream, he knows it isn't a dream. He's just kinda existing. But in actuality he's not completely "there", sometimes he is aware of what's going on (though he never remembers more often than not) but that's when Dream allows it, other than that he's either floating aimlessly in the void or dreaming. Not aware of what's happening.

Definitely, Enderman tend to be 7 ft+. Infact when traveling and Enderman spot Ranbob, they always voice their worry about him being so short. They know he's a hybrid so he was always going to be shorter than them, but he shouldn't have been this short. His growth is permanently stunted. Its a miracle he even got those 2 inches to be honest. Ran was definitely caught off guard seeing Ranbob so short. But quickly dismissed it in favor of attacking him. But later on as time passes, he can't dismiss the unease and concern he gets when he thinks about the difference so easily as he did eailer. The Gladiators notice right away but don't comment on it, the Fishermen think Ranbobs height is normal so when they meet Ran and learn Enderman hybrids typically grow that big and bigger their caught off guard, Cletus and Charles attempt to question Ran what its like to be so tall but Benjamin stops them.

He did, the Dream Mask has a small bit of it broken off due to it being dropped (Ranbob didn't break it. He suspects maybe when it was being transferred it got dropped in its holding box and thats what broke it). Ranbob picked it up because he meant to throw it away, but he forgot too. Giving Dream more time to get a hold on him. They talked about whatever came to mind at first since Benjamin didn't want to start off with the rough questions. But eventually the two did start to talk about what happened to Ranbob and who/what Dream was.

Dream does not consider it important enough because he thinks he's never going back there. So it falls into disrepair and gets all dusty with some mold even growing in the room.

Dreams petty and likes being in control of everything. But Dream would just kinda wander, making sure no ones alive. Every now and again he'll get bored and just destroy something. The fishermen explored and read about the history of Mizu while they were there, then after Ranbob attacked them spent most of the time arguing about what to do with him.

It just leads to Cletus being mean/rude to Ranbob and taking much longer than the others to be comfortable around him. If that's what you mean.

-------------------

Yes! When it was down to just 4 people left alive in Mizu, Ran stumbled upon the 4th person dead, then it all kind of clicks in his head, as the only other person currently alive is a Council Member, that it has to be his brother. So he rushes off to find the Council Member so they can stop Ranbob, only to find Ranbob standing over his dead corpse. Thats when the chase around Mizu ticks off that ends with Ran fleeing Mizu.

Cause while spiders are passive in daytime, creepers aren't, and don't burn in the light. Plus they are loud with their explodes (yet oddly quiet) which can give his position away.

Eh I'll say. Their not really super common because mixing them can cause serious side effects during and after mixture. But the healing, sleep aids, and infection mixtures are common as they've been figured out and can safely be made. Fun fact: Subbin actually has an entire community and an official place in the government for figuring out potion mixtures, making new ones, and making the mixing process as safe as possible.

The group doesn't really use the mixtures much, expect for Rans sleep aid and a every now and again healing mixture when a Pit match goes wrong. Cause Grievous used to intern in a potion shop and learned all about them then.

He really did.

Your right! Not many people traverse it. Because he was a Technoblade follower, and they typically get taught the bare basics of surviving in environments like the Nether, deserts, snow, caves, etc in their teachings. He got da book from his Idol teachers, everyone in his Idol group got a book as well.

You can ask! I welcome any and all questions.

There's gold coins (I forget the actual in-game name oop) ore deposits in the Nether, so he mines that. Not any specific ones, cause there is still a language barrier and a mostly gesture barrier (expect for the universal ones like wait, ok/good, no harm, etc).

They made a group decision to try to check the Nether on a whim. Though mostly cause one guy just wouldn't shut up about it. They found a broken portal and managed to repair it enough to enter.

The Fishermen and Ranbob where kinda confused (cause Ran hadn't fully told them about his time on the run.) But expressed sympathy at his house being burned down. Jackie and Grievous wanted to search it for anything usable, Ran didn't let em cause he thinks there's nothing left. Watson shoots Ran a sympathetic look and declared that he wants to keep moving to find shelter. Benjamin quickly agreeing and the group moves on.

---------Tip of The Iceberg-----------

He does not expect in all of their times he's still the God of the world.

Honestly, most of them were fine. Bad was the only one who was mad and wasn't ok with it. The Masquerade, The Pit, Sam, Sapnap, Quackity, Foolish, Ranboo, Skeppy, Tubbo, Tommy, and Karl all say the Egg wrote it because they all have had experience with the Egg. The Haunted Mansion, The Wild West, George, Fundy, Eret, Jack, Niki, and Puffy all say XD because they've either had no experience with the Egg or believe in XD's existence. Philza and Technoblade actually go both ways. (If I forgot someone, oops).

Technoblade, Phil, Niki, The Pit, The Wild West, Puffy, Sapnap, and Sam are all on the Frontline. While the others are all split between research into the egg (The Masquerade is in this one of course), and running tests. Fundy is a runner, delivering orders, requests, or new information. Foolish is on both the researching, testing, and frontlines, he is on the frontlines when needed but otherwise is researching and testing. Karl is typically somewhere with one of the many Traveler groups. Quackity, Eret, and Sam (when not on frontlines) are on planning duties.

The Egg is strong enough to propose a real and constant threat to the groups. Everyone is typically on the move to avoid the reaching of the Egg and its Eggpire.

Bad hasn't gotten what he wants, which is Skeppy. And as he has "opened his eyes" a bit he sees the hypocrisy, manipulation, and lies that surround the Egg and wants out.

----------------------

Ye ye Brothers AU sorry.

The fishermen get to their home, wake up the next day, and Ranbob is already making a field for wheat and potatoes. Benjamin fucking squawks and races out to make Ranbob stop. And Isaac eventually has to come out and help cause Ranbob is refusing to leave. Cletus laughs at Ranbob and makes fun of him but stops when he sees Charles sadly staring at him. A silent ask to stop.

He does but Porkius is chill and let's the Gladiators do whatever they want as long as they are still in fighting condition for matches and gives them money every week. Plus he's chill and is kinda friends with them. But sometimes Porkius has them go to extravagant parties with him. They all hate going, not just Ran. Mostly cause the rich people are snobs and either 1. Constantly insult them in conversation than act surprised when they get mad at them and report it to Porkius. 2. Talk with them but talk exclusively about themselves and are insensitive to the Gladiators. But sometimes there's actually people at the parties who are genuinely curious and kind and want to get to know the Gladiators. Those conversations are pleasant and the Gladiators, no matter who it is, actively enjoy the conversation.

Ran has always been mischievous. Even witnessing murder, being traumatized, hunted constantly, and fighting non-stop hasn't changed that. If anything he got more mischievous over time.

Something extra I wanted to share:

-There is music in world and the player the Gladiators share get brought on the trip so they can play music the entire time.

-Ran and Grievous fight over who gets to pick music often.

-Fun fact about why I did this: Every single part of this story and all others has been either created by or inspired by music. For example the Tip of The Iceberg AU was solely inspired by the song True North (by Vocal Line), while Brothers AU was made from Ruler of Everything (by Tally Hall) and partly Mind Electric (by Miracle Musical). So I wanted to include music somehow. (I actually have a entire playlist with music that I've used for certain parts of the Brothers AU.)

Brothers AU:

Interesting, interesting. What triggers these 'dreams'? Can Dream do it, or is it like just something that happens?

I'm assuming only the brothers would know what the Endermen are saying, but there's also body language, so how does everyone react to that behavior? Do one of the brothers ever tell them what's being said, or? What's everyone's thoughts on Ranbob's height, seeing as the Fishermen were surprised, and the Gladiators immediately noticed?

How does Benjamin feel about what he hears? Is he a bit skeptical at first, or fully believing Ranbob's words?

So the room's in disrepair, interesting. At some point, it's mentioned that they go back there, I think, so does that strike anyone as odd?

He destroyed stuff? Like just general items or artifacts? How did Ranbob feel, if/when he was aware?

------------------

Why didn't he assume it was the Council Member? What clues led him to his brother instead?

Understandable.

Oh, that's really interesting!

World building galore, fantastic!

Who was the one guy?

He thinks? Was there something left then?

-----------------

Tip Of The Iceberg AU:

Still the god? He didn't expect that? Was someone else supposed to be? If so, who? What's his reaction to learning such?

Bad seems to be straying from the egg, does he intend to leave it? Or does it have a way to keep him?

Do we have any particular groups here? People who fight or work well together, and kind of drift to one another? What sort of dynamics do we get with all of this, especially since everyone's on the move constantly to avoid the Eggpire.

------------------

Brothers AU:

Benjamin: Whatcha got there?

Ranbob: Excessive labor when I should be resting.

Benjamin, gasping: NO!

What are the parties typically like? Do they behave or cause havoc? Switch it up? Anyone in particular they don't hate talking to there?

Always mischievous, just better at hiding it. Wait, that means Ranbob would have known he was like that, wouldn't he? He'd know exactly what to expect. Would anyone else? Either way, that should be amusing.

------

What kind of music do they have, and what does everyone prefer to listen to?

(Time to go on a song-spree!)

#dream smp #dream smp au #Brothers AU #Tip Of The Iceberg AU #tales from the smp

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xpao-bearx · 3 years

Text

LET'S PLAY A NEW HAIKYU!! GAME \(☆o☆)/

I dunno if this will flop or not, I just thought of this and wanted to do it for funsies 😅

Anyhoe, the game is simple: Think about all of the HQ characters and choose only ONE of them (I know it's hard, ya sluts) that you think will most likely be the best romantic partner for you. The one you choose doesn't even have to be your fave, just be honest and share who you personally think will be most compatible with you and why!

I'll go first~

I think the character that will prooobably suit me best is Bokuto! I'm a pretty shy and quiet person, but I also have a really crazy and silly side if known better. So I think that maybe with someone like Bo who's so social and outgoing, he can really push me to be more open and comfortable with myself/my surroundings and other people as well as help me gain more confidence just like him.

I also think he'd be a super fun boyfriend! He really gives off those "your boyfriend is your bestfriend" vibes, if ya get what I mean. I wanna be in a relationship where we have lots of fun, but establish a deep trust as well. So I think that whenever Bo is having one of his emo moods, I'd really love to cheer him up or really just listen and be there for him and he'd be the same for me.

Plus I think our relationship would be...interesting LMAO xD Just 2 dummies constantly supporting each other and overcoming obstacles together *cough* tAxEs *cough*

And I don't even think we'll fight a lot, but if we do then both of us will probs just quickly forget what we were upset about in the first place and literally take a moment to pause and be genuinely confused 😂

Most of all, I'm actually so touch starved and dying for attention and I just KNOW that Bo would be such a cute doting puppy boyfriend that I'd be sooo happy to spoil and I'd 9999999% enjoy getting spoiled by him in return 🥺💕💕

#Haikyu!!#Haikyu #Haikyuu!!#Haikyuu #HQ!!#HQ

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toomanyfandoms02 · 4 years

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Family Reunion // Luke Alvez x Reader

Blurb request for @hotchocolateandpillowforts but turned into a long one.

Summary - Reader is so tired of her family patronizing her for not having a boyfriend. So she begs her best friend Luke Alvez to fake date her for a day at her family reunion.

Word Count - 2.6k

Prompt - "These heels are peeling off my **skin**. But yes, keep complaing about your tie you whine ass."

Luke and I did everything together, this included shopping, like we were doing right now.

"What do you need a dress for anyway? Don't you have enough dresses." Lyke commented, sitting out in the sitting area of the changing rooms.

"I have a family reunion tomorrow, and since we always go to my rich aunts lake house, I have to have something extra nice. I would look dumb if I wore the same dress." My voice bounced back at me in the small fitting room. I cringed at the sound of it.

"Is it like some chardonnay party?" He questioned.

"Is that even a thing?" I stepped out, adjusting the dress in the full size mirror.

"It looks great on you." Luke pointed to the flowery and poofy dress.

"I would agree, if I was going to prom." I sighed. "But alas, my teen days are over." I made a fake swoon, causing him to laugh. "I have one more to try on, and if it doesn't work out, I'm not going." I stated, dramatically walking back into the small space. I began to slip on the last dress.

This dress was a light tan color. It was short and poofed out towards the bottom. Dark blue embroidered flowers bloomed every which way starting at the middle. I waltzed out again, not having to adjust anything on the mirror this time.

"Now *that* one is smokin'." Luke looked me up and down, causing my cheeks to heat up and an undeniable smile to appear on my face. Just as he said that, a younger girl, I would assume a teen, came from the room adjacent to mine.

"You guys are such a cute couple!" She gushed. "I need to find me a man who compliments like you do." She said, pointing to Luke.

"We actually-" we said at the same time.

"We aren't-" We were now pointing at eachother decoded to give in.

"Thank you!" I smiled at her, smoothing the dress down.

"Of course!" She left the area with a few dresses in hand, leaving us alone.

"I don't want to go to this party anyway." I let out a groan, remembering my hardass family.

"Why not? Don't like your family or something?"

"They are always passive aggressively calling me a prude for not having a boyfriend. They think I'm incapable of holding a relationship and constantly patronize me for it. It's complete bullshit!" I threw my hands in the air in frustration. "Now the worst part is, I've been lying and telling my mom that I have a boyfriend for like 2 months now. I figured 'how hard could it be to fund a temporary boyfriend in two months?' Prettt damn hard for me apperantly." I vented, now sitting next to him on the small leather couch.

"How about I help you out. I'll be your fake boyfriend for your little reunion." I looke dup at him with what I could only assume was puppy dog eyes.

"You would do that for me?" I was silently cursing myself for how desperate I was sounding. But I really needed this to be completely honest.

"Yeah of course!" His hand sat between my shoulder blades. "I have one question though. This isn't a dealbreaker, but I really want it."

"Oh no." I chucked.

"Would I be able to bring Roxy? Lately she's been having separation anxiety." This wa absolutely perfect.

"Actually that is probably doable. My whole family brings their dogs to these things. My aunt may be rich and kind of a snob, but *boy* does she love dogs. I'll text her right now." I pulled my phone out, feeling excitement bubble up inside me. Finally, my family will shut the hell up about my relationship life, and it was going ti feel so good.

Even if it was fake.

*Hey Auntie! I'm bringing my boyfriend tomorrow and he wanted to know if he could bring his dog? Shes a well trained German Shepard, Roxy.* I eagerly awaited a reply, surprised to see her immediate text back.

**You're bringing a boyfriend this year! Hell, he could bring an elephant and I wouldn't say no to a boyfriend! Absolutely. Bring 10 dogs!** I could feel her enthusiasm through the phone, she was a very excitable lady.

"Alright, Roxy is all clear for entry. And if you have 9 more dogs on hand, you can bring those too... Apperantly." I shook my head ta my phone. Luke looked at me quizzically and I shook him off too. "Okay first of all, I'm buying this dress." I stood swiftly, gesturing to the beautiful piece of clothing. "Second of all, after we check out, I need to tell you about my family so you don't walk into the line of fire blindly!" I changed from the dress into my regular shirt and pants again. I slung it over my arm and headed back out to Luke.

I paid for my dress, heading out to his car.

"So, first things first, auntie Jess, the womans house we are going to, has been waiting for me to have a boyfriend for quite a while now." He nodded with an amused smile. "My mom can be a little overbearing, but I'm sure she will love you so don't stress. Bring a bathing suit with you just in case my family so graciously suggests that we play a giant game of Marco Polo. I think that's it!"

"I'm honestly excited." He rubbed his hands together mischievously. "What should I wear?"

"Kind of specific, but can you just wear a white button up with rolled sleeves, a blue tie to match my dress. I know you have one. And just some slacks. Don't forget to wear your swim trunks under it though!"

"I dig these specifics. I'm gonna live *completely* up to your fantasy." He winked. I rolled my eyes at the silly man.

"Thanks Luke. You're sure you're okay with acting like my boyfriend? We have to be all lovey, and believable." His hand was placed on my shoulder.

"Of course, anything to get your family off your back. I get it." I'm so thankful for this man.

I fluffed my dress at the end, twirling around in the mirror. My hair was tied up in a simple ponytail that continued to bounce as I spun around the room. I didn't bother putting on any makeup because I knew we would be swimming today. I ran down the stairs at the sound of a knock on my door.

The other side showed Luke. He was pulling at his rolled sleeves to perfect them. He came looking just as ai imagined, we were truly going to look like a power couple.

"Alright, let's go." He looped his arm through mine and led us to his car. He opened the passenger door for me once we got there.

"Keep acting like such a gentleman and my moms probably gonna like you more than I do." I snickered as he started the car.

"I'm just playing the part!" He grinned. I turned to the back of the car, petting Roxys head as she panted.

"Are you excited to see other dogs prettt girl!" She made a soft bark in response. I I forward and kissed her snout, then sitting properly and buckling up.

It was a short drive from my house to the lake house, once we got there we sat for a minute.

"I'm a little nervous." Luke confessed, facing me with a concerned look.

"I would comfort you, but I'm nervous too." I patted his arm and exited the vehicle, looking back to see Luke giving me an 'unbelievable' look. My hand pulled open the back door to let Roxy out.

"Roxy come." I pointed to my side. She lightly hopped out and placed herself beside me. As Luke came from the other side of the car, he held his hand out to me. I grabbed it and headed into the house.

"Should we bring Roxy with?" He asked.

"Absolutely."

Right as we came in the door, my auntie saw us.

"Hi sweetie! How are you?" She peered down at our joined hands.

"I'm good. This is Luke." I looked over at him, he was giving a charming smile.

"You must be the man she keeps talling about!" She was practically bouncing with excitement at the mention of me having a boyfriend. She was quick to crouch down to a lower level. "And you must be Roxy!" She was using her typical baby voice. Roxy sat quietly by Luke's side. "You are quite obedient."

"She's a trained military dog." He commented, petting her ears.

"How cool!" Jess stood from her previous position and began walking farther into the house. "Come meet the rest if the family Luke."

We were dragged into the livingrook as he gave me a worried look. Before I could comfort him slightly, we were already standing in front of my family. I started introducing everyone.

"That's my mom, uncle Jeff, my brother Mike, and my cousin Nick. These are the only people I will know here." I laughed, pointing to the large amount of people that were outside. "I will not know anyone outside. So we will be experiencing the same thing." This earned a chuckle from everyone.

"It's nice to finally meet you Luke." My mom came up and hugged him. He accepted and hugged back tightly. Everyone else just sat and waved and I could feel an awkward silence coming on so I interjected.

"Luke and I are gonna head outside with Roxy so she can meet the other dogs." I rushed us out the door and huffed. "I don't know if I can do this." A sigh slipped from my lips.

"What do you mean? Did I do something wrong?" He looked like a sad puppy, one that had just chewed up a pillow.

"No! No, I don't know, I feel bad that you have to lie."

"I really don't mind, I promise hermosa." He used the Spanish word for me a few times. *Beautiful*.

His hand grabbed mine and dragged us into the yard.

"Let's get Roxy to meet some new pups." As we entered the yard, I could see 2 dalmatians, 1 chihuahua, 1 pitbull, 2 Rottweilers , and a Husky. Roxy calmly walked to the other dogs, soon prancing around them. I looked over at Luke to see him pulling at his tie.

"This tie is tight."

"These heels are peeling off my **skin**. But yes, keep complaing about your tie you whine ass." I giggled, reaching up and loosening it for him. Time to go into a swarm of people I don't recognize.

I guess I was wrong, I *did* recognize some of these people. One of which was my distant great aunt who was a little nosy but meant well. We had all been talking for a few minutes before she dropped a question that Luke and I had not prepared for.

"How did you two meet?" My face paled, I sure as hell was not going to tell her the truth, which was that we met on a crime scene when my college roommate was murdered. I squeezed his hand, signaling that I would answer this. I'm going to have to wing it.

"I was dog sitting actually. When I was taking the girls dog for a walk, I stumbled upon a dog park and she got really excited. She ran straight into Roxy." I pointed to the happy German Shepard who was laying in the grass next to the other dogs. "They tumbled over eachother and I came over to apologize to him, and her."

"I saw her and I thought, 'wow, beautiful and a dog lover? Sounds like an angel to me.'" He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer, kissing my forehead.

"How sweet!" She squealed. "I'm so happy for you dear. He's a keeper." She whispered loudly to me, walking towards her husband now. I elbowed his arm and gave him a playful smile.

"Well aren't you a master improviser!"

"*And* I'm a keeper." He teased, pulling me towards Roxy. Then we heard shouting.

"Alright everyone! If youbroght your swimsuits you are legally obligated to do the annual giant game of Marco Polo!" My mom shouted from the porch. I bounced a bit while dragging Luke to the lake.

"Take off your clothes!" I egged him on.

"This isnt the circumstance that I thought I would hear you saying that in." He replied, pulling his tie off. The tips of my ears were burning at this.

"Was there a circumstance that you imagined me asking you to take off your clothes." I wiggled my eyebrows at him and he just rolled his eyes.

"The world may never know." He was rid of his shirt now. His toned chest shone in the sun.

*Damn he is actually ripped.*

I could feel myself ogling but I couldn't stop myself. I was still fully clothed.

"Why do I have on less clothing than you." He complained. "Turn around." He commanded, I did so with confusion. He pulled the zipper of my dress down and pulled at the straps. Now I was the one thinking not-so-clean things.

*What did you get yourself into Y/n?*

I let the dress slide from my shoulders to show my bikini. It had a yellow sunflower top and plain white bottoms.

"No way." He deadpanned, not hiding how he was looking at my body.

"What?" He pulled his pants down to show sunflower swim trunks with a white background.

"Oh my god we look like a cringy couple." I held my hand over my mouth, trying not to laugh like an insane person. Sooner we were in the cold lake, beginning the game.

"Alright, newest family member is it." Jess pointed to Luke and I shrugged. Everyone shifted around the area and the game began.

"Marco!" He shouted. A chorus of voices responded with Polo. "Oh God." I could hear him mutter with a snicker.

I swam silently beside him, hoping he wouldn't yell Marco.

But we know what kind of luck I have.

"Marco!"

"Shit." I whispered right next to him, attempting to go under to avoid being tagged. But his reflexes were too fast. He grabbed me with both arms, pulling me to him and opening his eyes.

"You're it." That's when I felt it, I knew I would remember this feeling for a long time.

The spark.

And before I knew it, he kissed my lips quickly. He pulled away and let go of me.

"Don't cheat! Close your eyes." He left me completely in the dark on the situation that just ensued.

I'm gonna kill this man.

The game ended after 45 minutes. I was it twice because I'm kind of a slow swimmer.

I jogged up to Luke, who was coming out of the lake. I pulled him aside, bringing him down to my level.

"What was that." I whispered exasperatedly.

"Well you said you felt bad that I had to fake this. To be truthful, not much of this is faking for me. Is it for you? Do you wanna keep this a fake thing?" His finger gestured between us. My brows furrowed at the question.

*Of course not.*

"Are you sure?"

"How many times are you gonna ask me that." He laughed, bringing me into another kiss.

*This is going to be quite the story to tell people.*

#luke alvez #luke alvez x reader #criminal minds cast #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fic #criminal minds #spencer reid

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arreisstorm · 5 years

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HAPPY SUGA DAY!

Disclaimer:

****I meant to get this post up on Yoongi's actual birthday but due to Tumblr completely deleting my first draft and having to deal with some crap at work, I haven't really been in my right mind to do so, so unfortunately I wasn't able to get it done in time. Even if it's a little late I hope you guys still enjoy this post!****

So I've been thinking all day what I can say about Min Yoongi that I haven't said already and sadly I'm drawing a blank.

I think everyone knows by now how, underneath that hard and standoff-ish exterior, Yoongi is truly one of the sweetest, most caring members in BTS.

He may be the designated "grandpa" but he can give Jin a run for his money as the "mom" of the group with the way he dotes on every single member in his own way. So instead of me doing a long winded post that loses it train of thought a million times I think I'll expand on how much Yoongi truly loves his brothers:

▪JIN

So when it comes to the relationship these two share, "opposites attract" is the best way I could describe it. While one is outgoing and loud, the other is more reserved and quiet. This duo loves to annoy each other and you can see that every time Jin cracks a face-palm inducing dad joke, and vice versa whenever Yoongi makes fun of Jin for his "old" age. I mean it's obvious to ARMY by now how extra Jin can be at times, but even through all the cringe-worthy moments and second-hand embarrassment, at the end of the day, Yoongi still has great appreciation and respect for him.

▪JIMIN

Like Jin and Yoongi, Jimin and Yoongi are also quite opposites when it comes to their outlook on life. Where Jimin sees positivity, Yoongi is more about realism. It's not that he doesn't want to see the world as a happy place, but he also doesn't want to be blind to the truth either. That's why these two work so well together, one is the lifts the other up while the other protects them from harm.

▪TAEHYUNG

It's no secret that Tae marches to the beat of his own drum, but it is because of this fact that Yoongi finds him so endearing. During an episode of BV the two were partnered up to spend time together and even when everyone else said they would never agree on anything, Yoongi had the perfect solution. He cares a lot for Tae and he knows how hard the past few years have been for him after losing precious loved ones, so he's kind of been the one looking out for him behind the scenes.

▪JUNGKOOK

When it comes to emotional vulnerability, I would say Kookie and Yoongi are two peas in a pod. Neither one chooses to wear their hearts on their sleeves, but on the rare occassions when they do, you can guarantee you will find yourself crying along with them. There's a lot of pressure and uncertainty that goes alongside being the maknae of the group, and even more so when you're the golden maknae, and that's why I think Yoongi has taken it upon himself to help shoulder those burdens by taking care of him. Whether it's sticking up for him, encouraging him, or simply offering to buy him a proper meal, Yoongi has always been a great hyung to Kookie. And who could forget the iconic moment of "Friendship is Irish Bomb"? Haha

▪HOSEOK

Ok, so there's a lot with this relationship. We have day meets night, dark meets light, and cynicism meets positivity. These two contrast so much but still connect on the same level in countless other ways. Both are 2/3 that form one of the best raplines I've ever seen. Both are very passionate about what they do (J-Hope: dance, Yoongi: music) and they have worked their butts off to reached the point they're at now. Because Yoongi is such a realist, he is constantly overwhelmed with the state of the world, and he desperately needs to see the happier side that he might be missing...that's where Hobi comes in. There's a reason he was given the nickname he was given, he provides everyone around him with hope and happiness when they need it most, and that especially applies to Yoongi.

When you constantly find yourself in the limelight it can be hard not to lose yourself within it. You might even forget your sense of self and instead be reduced to nothing more than a preconception told from a cameras perspective; that's when friends are the best cure, and Hobi just so happens to be that friend. These two are important for one another because whenever they're together it seems to be nothing but laughs and genuine smiles. They are carefree and able to be themselves around each other. To have that sense of freedom is probably a rare occasion for BTS in general, but even more so for the one who's know to be the "cold-hearted" and I'm happy he can find it with Hobi.

▪NAMJOON

Finally we have these two: Namjoon and Yoongi.

I've decided to save this one for last because to me they have a bond that completely differs from all others previously mentioned. These two have known each other the longest, have lived together the longest, and have seen each other at their worst points. Before debuting these two would fight constantly, both due to genuine disagreements, and also because of the countless hardships and pressure they had thrown at them. They have grown with each other and have been there to strengthen each other every step of the way.

Yoongi might not be one to express his feelings so openly, but every time I see the clip of him crying with Joon after receiving their first MAMA award It's obvious how much he does care and how much this all means to him.

To be honest, Yoongi never fails to show his love and support whenever his brothers are feeling down, and that especially goes for Joon. With him being the leader of BTS there is so much added pressure and expectations to live up to that it can be overwhelming, and on top of all of it, being the designated translator, writing and producing most of BTS' songs, and also trying to learn the choreography to go along with said song can seem next to impossible; Yoongi sees these struggles and he does all he can to help lessen the weight.

These two honestly do share one of the most profound bonds and I believe nothing could severe it completely. They might still have their fights, I mean they're human, it's bound to happen, but the respect and admiration they have for one another wins out every time.

As much as they love each other, these two also love to screw with each other too. Yoongi constantly makes fun of Joon for his clumsiness and Joon makes fun of Yoongi for his laziness, but in the end these two wouldn't be who they are without the other.

Yoongi once said in an interview that Joon is one of his favorite people he's ever met and if he had to pick a person to spend his last day with he would pick him. Then Joon in a different interview mentioned how Yoongi is basically his mirror and he takes care of the thing that Joon is unable to. These two compliment each other so well, and musically speaking, their backgrounds come from very similar places that they just know how the other runs. If Hobi allows Yoongi to act himself and to let loose physically, then Joon is his emotional release. They know how to have those deep heart-to-heart conversation without worrying what the other might think. Yoongi is able to use his words and is able to open up to Joon about any doubts, fear, or anxiety he might be struggling with, as well as using them to provide Joon with the assurance he needs that he is doing a good job as the leader; and in return, Joon gives Yoongi that sense of comfort and stability whenever he needs it.

Min Yoongi and Kim Namjoon.

Yoonie and Joonie.

Suga and RM.

AGUST D and Rap Monster.

Lil Meow Meow and Killer Dimples.

These boys are one in the same: two overall geniuses who started as underground rappers possessing skills of insane flow and destructive lyrics, then forced to become idols, who eventually helped redefined what idols are, and now are global superstars that have created the golden rapline (with Hobi), are living their wildest dreams yet still remain humble, as well as unapologetic about incorporation crucial social topics into their songs.

There's a reason these two get along so well and that's because of years of being around each other, having the same deep, philosophical thought process, and knowing that hard work, sleepless nights, and finding growth within personal struggles are what it takes to reach your ultimate goal.

The point is, if you're still with me that is haha, is that Suga tends to have this reputation that he is cold-hearted and aloof when it comes to the rest of the members, but honestly who wouldn't be exhausted and not wanting to participate in different events after having not slept for days on end and pouring their blood, sweat, tears (not intentional btw) into their creations?! Suga is one of the hardest working, passionate, individuals out there and if he didn't sacrifice so much for us, far beyond what this post can tell you, then BTS would not exist the way we know it now. It because he is willing to put his own health and well-being on hold --despite ARMY and the boys wishes-- and take on this almost altruistic behavior that I have so much respect and admiration for Yoongi. And anyone who says that this man is cold or that he hates his members...Have you not seen this man's precious, gummy smile when he's having the time of his life with his favorite people? There's a reason he chose to call himself "Suga" and that's because underneath that hard outer shell, deep down Min Yoongi is nothing but pure sweetness who isn't afraid to dream big and wants to see those he loves succeed to their fullest potential.

He is our resident grandpa, a musical genuis, and can spit fire while roasting people with the highest level of savageness you can achieve. He is the 2nd oldest, the hyung who tends to show his love when the cameras aren't rolling, and he is the backbone of BTS who slaves away in the recording studio to produce these insane tracks we all love so much. He is the only one that I've noticed who mirrors and compliments Namjoon's own thoughts and feelings and he is a huge reason why BTS has been so successful like they are.

We love you

Min Yoongi

Suga

AGUST D

Lil Meow Meow

Grandpa Yoongs

I hope you had a great birthday and thank you for everything you have done for BTS in the past, everything you're doing in the present, and everything you will do in the future. You are one of my biggest inspirations and I wish you all the best!

화이팅! 💜

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