#I'M NOT SORRY THIS IS SO LONG GUYS IT'S WORTH IT IMO
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next // previous
august 25, 2021
9:00 p.m.
seoul
**TW: SUICIDE MENTION**
[grant] hey, not to bring up the previous conversation, but uh, i wanted to say i'm sorry you had to deal with me the same year you were going through so much. it wasn't fair.
[henry] it's okay, grant. i don't think your motivation for being an addict and attempting suicide that year was, "yeah, fuck henry, i want to make his life so much worse right now. his dad's dead, he may not have enough credits to get his degree this may, and now me!"
[grant] it doesn't matter what it was. the fact is that my problems hurt other people. i didn't just harm myself. and i was not a pleasant person that last year when you really needed pleasantry.
[henry] yeah, i'm not going to lie to you, that very last year of college, i thought the version of you i knew and loved was gone.
[grant] i was insufferable.
[henry] correct. you were an asshole.
[henry] for the most part. you did try to be good again and be there for me when my dad died.
[henry] it was weird. i hadn't seen you sober in years, but when i called you for the first time in a few weeks because there was no one else besides soobin i wanted to talk to about my dad dying, you showed up to my place kind of normal again.
[henry] i don't want to say "sober" because you probably weren't, but you were at least on fewer substances than i was used to at the time, so you seemed sober.
[henry] you weren't in a place to show up for people long-term because you were suffering, too, but you tried. you checked on me every day for a few weeks until finals hit and everything got crazy for everyone. well, no, until we threw that intervention for you right before finals. nonetheless, i appreciated the effort.
[henry] it stopped me from cutting you out, so there's that.
[henry] i'm not trying to sound rude either, please don't take it that way. it was just a lot. i would have regretted it if i cut you out, and i didn't want to at my core because i do not want to do life without you, but i didn't think you had it in you to get out of that spiral you were in for years. i really did not. i thought you were done for.
[henry] i'm sensitive, even if i never sound like it. i was mad at you for bad behavior, but i was also, um, really sad to see you like that. i love you. i've loved you as a brother and a best friend for almost my entire life. and i did not think i could stomach watching you die at your own hand. it made me sick.
[henry] and it probably makes me a bad friend to have felt that way. one, to have thought about cutting you out, and two, to have had so little faith left in you. you deserved more faith from me. if the roles were reversed, you'd never give up on me.
[grant] don't say that. everyone has their limit, and it's hard to know where it is until you finally hit it. i would have one, too.
[grant] and man, you were meant to feel that way. i meant it when i told you i pushed people away purposely.
[grant] whatever conscience and consciousness i had during that time always reminded me that i was terrified of hurting other people. i was very well aware i was probably causing, like, terrible amounts of pain to my friends and family, and i didn't want to do more damage when i killed myself, so...
[grant] yeah, i always meant to kill myself. i thought about it every day for years, honestly all the way back into high school, and i got super close to trying it about a billion times, but i only ever went through with any of my plans once.
[grant] and i'll regret for the rest of my life that you and my grandparents had to see what i did to myself on graduation night.
[grant] but anyway, i chose to have those awful behaviors because i felt like if i ran everybody off and made them leave, they'd be glad i was dead and wouldn't hate me for what i did and just forget me.
[grant] terrible, terrible strategy! like holy shit! i also entirely regret acting out like that, the much happier and stable version of myself from the last, like, eight years realizes that made everything worse and wouldn't have fixed anything anyway.
[grant] trying not to hurt people by hurting them upfront is a fucked up strategy. just entirely fucked up and counterintuitive.
[henry] no, it wouldn't have worked. you'd have left everyone traumatized by not being able to repair things with you.
[henry] so, whether you like it or not, people do like you. people tend to really, really like you. you have a very magnetic, charming personality that very few other people in the world share.
[henry] and people do want you around. i want you around.
[henry] i know what i just said, but i really do want you around.
[henry] but also, wow. i guess you did a great job at trying to run us off since it almost worked on me.
[grant] it was easier than acknowledging people care about me or worry about me. i'm not good at that.
[grant] oh, and in those rare early moments where i thought that i needed help, i was scared everyone would only ever see me as a fucked up shell of a human being. like if i got better, i would still be reduced to the guy with problems.
[grant] i'm glad that i regret trying to kill myself. there's a lot i would have missed out on, including the chance to be nice to myself. but i do worry that some of those things are true, that fucked up is the only way people see me, even strangers.
[grant] i feel like glass sometimes. like everyone looks through me and sees the worst in me and only the worst.
[henry] i'm sorry you feel that way.
[henry] it's a little ironic, though. the more you hold back from telling your loved ones these things or try to push us away so we never see you struggling with anything ever, the more we worry you have the same exact problems that almost killed you before.
[grant] i've really backed myself into a corner, eh?
[henry] there's about a million things i could respond to that with, but here's the most important one. you're worth worrying about.
[henry] you spend your life looking after people and telling everyone to care about others, like you just told me to worry about my future kids, but you seriously do not believe you deserve that in return, and i don't get it. no, i do, but i don't.
[henry] yes, your parents taught you that you don't deserve love, but then again...
[grant] i'm trying to believe. and i have gotten at least a little better. my birthday, you know? i handled that pretty well.
[henry] everyone has flaws. we could and should try harder to not emphasize yours so much. but i don't see those flaws first. and if i do think about them, it's because i don't want them to take you away.
[henry] you don't see my flaws first, do you? clearly, you don't. right? you don't act like you see them.
[henry] the person i see you as is the kid who became friends with me two decades ago. some random nice kid who approached the one new kid at the park sitting by himself and played with him even though they couldn't talk to each other yet. some random kid who learned the basics of my language on the internet to write me a sweet letter saying, "hi, i'm grant, i'm six years old, and i want to be your friend." it didn't even matter it was written poorly.
[henry] i see a lot of good things in you. remember, i was just telling everyone about how nice you were to help me save the first dinner i hosted for soobin. a day ago, you helped me get over failure, one of my lifelong biggest fears, for an hour or two.
[henry] but i think our beginning sums you up nicely. i don't know anyone else who would have gone to such lengths for some nobody new kid. you didn't owe me your time or your respect and yet you gave it to me. and that was a weird time in my life. everything turned upside down when i moved. to have a friend like you then was...
[henry] and of course, nothing's changed. you're still a kind person. you're funny. you're smart. you're just you. you're one of the only people on earth who isn't fake. the kid i remember isn't gone. i'm glad he survived. i'm glad i didn't lose him.
[grant] despite everything, it's still me?
[henry] yes. but so we're clear, you don't have to do nice things to be worthy of being liked. you're likable on your own. i'm only saying that your kindness stands out to me, and i know that you value that trait, so it bears mentioning. you've been very good to me. i can forgive the times when you weren't. i've been a jackass before, too. i've probably been a jackass to you.
[grant] i feel like we've said thanks a lot today but thanks for sticking with me. don't feel bad that you thought i couldn't get better. that was my fault. but you're still here. and you showed up on graduation night for me. i'm beyond sorry that you had to see any of that, like i cannot repent or apologize enough in my lifetime, but thank you.
[grant] i owe you my life.
[grant] i owe you a lot but that first.
[grant] i've said it before but it should be repeated, you know? i definitely would have died if you didn't come that night. aside from my uncle, you're the only one i know who can pick a lock.
[henry] just do not make me do it again. i would show up a second time, but it would be better on my psyche if that was unnecessary.
[grant] it won't happen again. i've been good for a long time, but i'm great now and most of all, appropriately medicated for bipolar disorder. it's all going to be okay.
[grant] we're going to go home, continue being best friends forever, you're going to be a great dad one day.
[henry] and you will get your job back!
[grant] great minds think alike! now, how much longer until the arcade? i promise i'll let you win a game of air hockey for once.
#tw suicide#tw suicide mention#tw drug mention#ts4#the sims 4#sims 4#sims 4 story#sims 4 storytelling#simblr#hlcn: everything the stars promised#I'M NOT SORRY THIS IS SO LONG GUYS IT'S WORTH IT IMO#ALSO THE GRADUATION DAY INCIDENT I'VE WRITTEN ABOUT FOR YEARSSSSSS IS FINALLY BEING EXPLAINED#this is a sad post in many ways but i'm excited to be tying up some of these storylines i created a long ass time ago#also i was trying to be extra safe about the tws here because i never know if the tags alone are enough#post x100 script: sometimes we don't get to see grant's flaws bc this story is through his perspective but here we go here's a look at them#holocene.docx#holocene.png#hlcn: grant#hlcn: henry
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(Warning this is super long I'm so sorry) Absolutely mcfreaking reeling from that charged backfist of a chapter. I have no words. Yang what. What is wrong with you. He really slaughtered five schools' worth of students and masters, killed his adoptive father, orchestrated the murder of his little sister, secretly went back and raised said little sister from the dead, decided to let her wake up ALONE IN A POOL OF HER OWN BLOOD SURROUNDED BY THE BODIES OF HER FAMILY, left her to fend for herself at the ripe age of 11, and then fucked off to the mountains to be a super-doctor. BROTHER. Like yes Yang, it was really cold of Sifu to not let you save your family with the talisman, and your feelings of heartbreak and betrayal are absolutely valid (I would even excuse the attempted theft of the talisman honestly, he was just trying to save them!) especially when he saw you as a son, BUT HOLY SHIT YOUR RESPONSE WAS TO BECOME A MASS-MURDERER! Yin and all those disciples didn't know anything about the talismans, you could have just killed the masters in a slightly less public way and have been basically fine! Jinfeng literally has Infinite Money Glitch: The Talisman, you guys can pay off anyone! I'm so flabbergasted at Yang I can't even express it fully. How do we come back from this bro 😭 I know Fajar actually did kill Yin and now they're besties, but Yang literally left her in a wuguan full of bodies!!!! She could've died or gone insane and Yang just allowed it! How tf was she supposed to turn away from vengeance when that's literally all you left her with! And the fact that she managed to do that anyway and you're just???? Punishing her for it in every way besides physically attacking her????
You know what? I'm gonna go fight Yang a bunch until I get an achievement or something, he deserves it!
Hehehehehehhh XDDD This was me while reading through your message lmaooo:
That said, I think you're probably the first person I've seen who's gotten this angry at Yang (aside from a few other characters in the fic)! 😂 Game-wise, him reviving Yin in the prologue made the most sense to me out of all the other theories (not that there are a lot imo), and it also works with the implications of the post-credits scene, so I was more than ready to add it to the fic with maximum angst! XDD
Of course, this all means Yang is an even bigger douche than before 😅 There were a million other ways he could've gone about stealing the talismans without ruining Yin's life, but ah well, I had to stick to that part of canon for this fic 😂 I personally think he didn't have this mindset eight years ago; like, how much of his current thinking is actually him and how much is part of the talisman's influence? But even then, it was still a horrible move to make, especially where Yin was concerned (hence why I came up with the Dawn!AU where she lives! hehe). And his entire arc overall was one of my struggling points while writing, because how DO you come back from this? How do you have the happy ending with all the fluffy rainbow and unicorn feels?? Would a happy ending for this even be happy for Yin and Yang's relationship after all he's done to her? So that was quite interesting and tricky to work with XDD
All in all, I'm happy you enjoyed this chapter!! Though I'm sorry it got you worked up loll 😅 Hopefully beating Yang to a pulp helps! 😁 And no worries at all about the long messages; I really appreciate you taking the time to write all this!! Thanks again! 💗💗
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Hi guys!! It's been a little while! As usual, I'm back for the new season...mostly for the mice :D I missed you all!
If it's okay, I'd like to ramble and share my thoughts. But I'll warn you now, they may not be what you expect...
Animaniacs reboot season 3 spoilers ahead!!! Please, please beware :>
I apologise first for my absence. Honestly, I've been oddly hesitant to return to this fandom since Friday, despite it being the loveliest I've ever been in! And that's because, well...
I didn't really like the new season, mouse-wise. I know that's maybe a controversial thing to admit.
I promise I don't wish to drag anyone's joy down with this—gosh knows I wish and wish I could celebrate like everyone else!—but I just want to share how I feel, if that's okay. To people who can maybe understand. I'm sorry D:
There were some segments I enjoyed, and lots of moments and little jokes that made me smile. The concepts themselves rocked! But I just kept getting...this feeling...that something was off? Like the characters were very much, to me, misunderstood, particularly Pinky. I still can't explain it properly.
It might come from all the years I've spent analysing these characters, perhaps a little too seriously. Watching them portrayed (seemingly) without their fully-developed spinoff characterisations in mind always kind of bothers me, and that was an issue I saw in S1 too. S2 mostly evaded it, but it seems to have returned. I don't know.
To be clear, my issue is with the dialogue and dynamic—the script. Something felt off. I could go into this but I'm scared of rambling or making people mad.
What I think saved this (imo) unsatisfactory script was the truly wonderful storyboarding and animation. It managed to express patb as characters who actually LIKE each other and have a bond of decades.
But to find out a lot of the heart from these storyboards was cut too? :( I don't know. I guess I'm feeling a bit down and anticlimactic about this whole thing.
I've poured my heart into this pair for so, so long. I've spent soo much time analysing their characters, their relationship, every line of dialogue. Writing about them. Thinking about them. They helped me through some very hard times. They've been a special interest for years. I know these things are true for many of us.
And I'm so very grateful for those sweet memories. I'm so grateful Brinky is finally canon :'D I suppose I just wish it could have been under some kinder circumstances...
As it stands, Brinky can only be considered canon because someone heroically put their heart into showing it through some really, amazingly clever boarding. If not for that person, it would have ended up as a (by definition) queerbait. I suppose I'm just sad that's still how it has to be in 2023 🥲
On the bright side, I feel creatively inspired! I might put these weepy feelings on paper and punch out another fic. If I can make someone happy, my sorrow will be worth it, I think. 💗
Thank you for reading :)
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because of your url i associate you as the ATLA person :P Anyway I just finished rewatching the show so I am curious: Have you read any of the tie-in comics, and are any of them worth reading? I read the search a long time ago but I dont think I read anything else
lol yeah I started out as mainly an atla blog so~
I have read some of them. I've read The Search, The Promise, The Rift, and Smoke and Shadow, (i possibly also read the Toph one but some stuff like crosses over between stories so i'm not certain). I have mixed feelings about the comics because sometimes the plots can seem out of character a bit?
Like i think it's in The Promise Zuko asks Aang that if he ever turns bad for Aang to PROMISE TO KILL HIM???? and eventually Aang is like sure thing?????????? And then Zuko makes a decision that other nations don't like and Aang's past lives are like "guess it's time to kill Zuko bestie" and Aang is eventually like "i mean i don't wanna but if it's for the good of the world"..... like it's WILD. Everything ends up resolving itself in the end but I'm sorry but the guy who wouldn't even kill Ozai is NOT gonna even AGREE to killing his friend???????
Like the over-arching plot I thought was interesting bc it's very much about post-war politics. But just the way some characters reacted to the situation was wildly out of character imo.
Like they're worth a read if you're interested but idk how i feel about them. I think I've heard good things about Suki, Alone but I haven't read that one. And I think there was an Azula centric one that was supposed to come out at the end of last year but I haven't heard much about it.
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https://at.tumblr.com/randomfoggytiger/mulder-would-never-let-scully-walk-away-with-words/iv9mcjoe64a6
Great post! I loved your perspective on Mulder’s reasoning for not addressing some things while not being afraid to address Scully’s misconceptions or misunderstandings.
I've seen different reasons for why Mulder doesn't open up on certain topics in fanfic. One is the one you described in your post. The other one seems to be that he doesn't feel “good enough”. That always seemed a bit ooc imo. What do you think about that reason for Mulder to not address certain things? Could that be a reason for being so cagey when it comes to some topics but not others?
Sorry for waiting so long (had to go to sleep~)
Hmmmmm, I don't think that last theory holds canonical water. (It could, of course; correct me if I'm wrong.)
Mulder's low-points of self-esteem only crop up when he's "failed"-- Ascension, End Game, Gethsemane, Fight the Future, One Son, Sein und Zeit, Three Words, etc.; but they're immediately paired with him reaching out and taking whatever escape route or victorious next step is handed to him, so he never truly gave up. The only time he came close to canonical suicide was in Gethsemane when there was (seemingly) no other route to take; but it took a massive effort to get there, and his self-recrimination washed away with the hope of a cure in his grasp. Then what does he do? Recruit the one person he can trust while avoiding the fact of how ill she's gotten in the hopes that her cancer will all go away, that it'll be worth it for them to do this, if if if if if.
I believe that Mulder cannot be a man with low self-esteem and escape his childhood as unscathed as he has.
His father, for one, brow beats him; but Mulder doesn't fold, taking it on the chin like a disciplined child and not like a person whose self-confidence has been shredded again. His mother withdraws her affection when he pries into her personal life; but Mulder doesn't internalize that rejection, cornering her, yelling at her walls, and plowing ahead to uncover the Truth on his own (and collapsing in grief at her suicide, since it robbed him of all the years on the X-Files to right the Mulder family wrongs.) In FTF, we see Mulder has heard all the rumors he'd missed in Squeeze; and while it frustrates him, he doesn't internalize it so much as wallow in pity that Scully's leaving. Then, when she walks out his door, he pursues her instead of taking her rejection as personal, getting to the bottom of her listlessness.
I don't believe his albatross is self-esteem because he has a healthy amount of it. It's on full display whenever he talks with TLG, Skinner, any of the Arthur Dales (The Unnatural being a key one), or Scully as she's tearing apart his newest blind-faith theory (E.B.E., Gethsemane, Field Trip's "I'm right 99% of the time"); and the only time it deflates is if Scully (seemingly) rejects him or if the people he trusts have exploited him again. But even then, he bounces back without any internalization. Often it's referred to or stretched to its extremes by other characters (Bill in Redux II, Maurice in The Ghosts That Stole Christmas, Arthur Dales in The Unnatural, etc.) And when other people mock him and not his ideas, he gets snippy and caustic, not internally wounded (Squeeze, The Jersey Devil, Mind's Eye "You're one skeptical guy", Folie a Deux was a big example, Drive "Jew FBI", etc.) It's what makes him that fond mix of irritating and charming: he doesn't intend to hurt when he hangs up on Scully to "water the seeds of doubt", when he smiles and dashes off into the Detour woods unknowingly, when he readily forgives his parents' thinnest-apologies-known-to-man, when he bristles at Scully's guidance that have steered them both right before. Because he's Mulder: a man blindly passionate to the exclusion of everything else, including himself. His Achilles Heel isn't self-esteem: it's that he'll be yelling the Truth for years (FTF monologue, all conversations with Doggett in S8, etc.) and no one will listen (interesting how Scully parallels that in Revelations.)
That's also, imo, why he was so good at the VCU: Mulder is a man that knows human nature inside and out, turning the screw on a villain psychologically until they confess (Conduit, Arcadia, Hungry, etc.) BUT that's only when he's given that person or that case 100% of his mental energy. That's why he misses some of Scully's signals unless they're screaming in his face (Irresistible, the cancer arc, Emily, etc.); the other times he nails her to the wall on her avoidance is when she has detoured his attention away from the case long enough for him to notice. In fact, the cancer arc is the most keyed-in of all the series; because he knows she keeps so much of her ailments to herself and is constantly on paranoid alert.
Why does he avoid certain topics? Because he doesn't want to address them. It's the yin-yang between Scully wants a life (since The Jersey Devil, heavily in Dreamland and Arcadia, and referenced constantly up to All Things) and Mulder thinks this is a life (same episodes.) If he opens that door of acknowledgement, will Scully want more? He was ready to walk in Requiem, but that was because her health was on the line. But that wasn't until after his closure with Samantha, her change in All Things, and their new, uninhibited relationship that endured En Ami and the humiliation of Hollywood A.D. She had proved to be the same even in a relationship-- not asking more of him than he needed; and Mulder could let go of what was left of "his life" for her sake, because she became his new one. :)
So, that's my thoughts! :DDDDDD Thank you for asking for them; and sorry I didn't get around to them soon!
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"the bdsm is just a part of that that imo doesn't stand on its own without the emotional devastation. thank you for coming to my ted talk"
Exactly! Fucking this!! Like Vegas didn't fall for Pete because he found no other suitable partner sexually. If that's the basis of their relationship, how long would it take for Vegas or Pete to move on when they encounter someone more compatible ( and there always can be someone more compatible).
Also so so true about the pool scene. Pete could have said million other things ( I am not too mad about the "I am hungry", kind of like it) but then he chooses I am your pet, aren't I? And my god I wanted to slap someone. Like whenever I sent asks to people regarding this, they were like oh no no it was to steer Vegas away from harming himself. And I was...like that?! I also wanted more of an ambiguous ending. Like Pete torn between what happened at the safehouse ( the abuse , the talk, the romance, then the devastating day when Gun came etc) and his current feelings ( Vegas risking in to say that he is sorry, Vegas can't make himself shoot at Pete, Vegas confessing and wanting to die by Pete's hands, Vegas being shot at and the horror of losing him). I also think that if Pete was Kinn's most trusted to the point of actually him choosing Pete over Big ( just how?) for the mission...there should be more dilemma on Pete's part. He loves Vegas, might have been the one looking after Macau but there's still his loyalty for the main family. Wanting to be with Tankhun out of his sense of duty. Wanting to be with Porsche ( you know the guy for whom he took on the risky mission?) after his discovery of the not dead mom. And yet Pete isn't now just someone who feels like his purpose is to fade...he has finally been seen.
If that's the basis of their relationship, how long would it take for Vegas or Pete to move on when they encounter someone more compatible
*shouts this from rooftops, blazes this with tumblr blaze* bcuz yes. that's exactly it. you cracked it open everyone else go home
and yes, I'll rectify and say I liked the 'I'm hungry' bit and i love and understand their ongoing hunger motif. it's the pet thing that leaves me..... confused? for lack of a better word? like what does that resolution mean for their third act conflict? if Pete said 'I'm just an object to project your feelings on,' what does it mean that the only ostensible reason for Vegas not killing himself is their pet-owner dynamic? what does it mean for Pete's self-worth statement? how does it make any sense with the later hospital scene, when Vegas admits that Pete is not his pet anymore, but the most important person in his life? these all feel like threads of a conclusion for the pairing, almost as if there were several possible endings in the writers room and Pond said. actually let's just have them all :)
And yet Pete isn't now just someone who feels like his purpose is to fade...he has finally been seen.
let's caveat this with: kinnporsche is a show powered primarily by trope, shock value and melodrama. I try as much as possible to meet it at its own level, but that doesn't mean there can't be good faith critique of what it tries to achieve. your point is exactly why I was left frustrated by much of the latter half of the show. as a viewer you feel gaslit: Vegas claims Pete is the most important person in his life. we get Pete screen time galore. we have Pete go through trials and tribulations, yet why does Pete still feel like an extra? rather than creating a meaningful arc for him, the writing continues treating him as an afterthought.
compare that with Vegas, whose love arc with Pete is beautifully intertwined with his primary internal conflict (his positioning by his father as a competition object to the main family). while Vegas drives the Tawan pinch point and the safehouse arc, it's Pete's own decision to kiss Vegas and start their sexual relationship. his agency doesn't stop there: Pete also makes the decision to escape Vegas and then later on to punish Vegas physically and stick with Vegas as he gets shot and recovers. the reasoning behind these choices remains, however, nebulous to the viewer.
Pete deciding to escape the safehouse after starting a sexual relationship with Vegas--how does it integrate into the larger history of who Pete is? why is a bdsm relationship with his captor appealing to Pete to begin with? why does Pete decide to "take Vegas back" after Vegas's love confession and the parking lot punching during the coup? is this reflective of Pete's values as a character? was that enough for him to consider the conflict resolved?
these are all questions unanswered by the show. Pete feels like an extra because the writing treats him as such: unlike every other protagonist, we don't have a single benchmark for his inner conflicts except a violent past under his father's boxing abuse. at the end of the day, all of his actions are actually re-actions: to Kinn ordering him to follow Vegas, to Vegas's abuse, etc. to me, the only real, fully agentic action Pete takes (as I, as a viewer, understand what exactly powers his choices), is when he offers Vegas his own life story in episode 11: I see you and I recognize your pain and suffering. here is how I surpassed mine.
#asks#sorry i could go on about this forever but i really really appreciate ur thoughts like plz#KEEP EM COMING#(actually i should be working on my wip so don't)#(but do)#(but also dont) <- me to myself
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I... have been very irritated lately by the sudden discourse or debate (depends on how amicable these sort of discussions ended) over the Ink Demon design in both Batim and Batdr.
Now on a usual day, I'd say "They're both great and everyone's entitled to their own opinion" but today is not such a day. What triggered this you may be thinking?
The whole notion of one demon being scarier than the other.
That..... hmmmm.... that got me.
So I have decided... to do a thing. I would like to say beforehand I really do like the Ink Demon the character. Both Batim and Batdr (Even if I'm more biased to DR). But all this talk of who is better is really irritating. And it repeats over and over and in such a medium-small, relaxed fandom on its way to sleep mode rn: that's something akin to a broken record.
And I hate being told the same things over and over and over again.
So I'm gonna, perhaps quite harshly but at best, just criticise and at very worst completely trash both the BATIM and BATDR Ink Demon's designs and mechanics because as much as I love this character and his flaws, I'm two bad takes of "one is scarier than the other" away from just never interacting with anyone in the Fandom again.
If you haven't caught the vibe already, I don't take anyone seriously who says one Ink Demon is scarier than the other.
Are you seriously trying to convince me that Batim's Ink Demon is scary? BATIM? The guy whose head looks like a crescent-shaped stress ball smacked onto a malnourished human body? The guy who can get stuck to a crate during a chase? BATIM? Ink Bendy?? Gtfoh
BATDR Ink Demon ain't very scary either. Grotesque, maybe, certainly more than stress ball. But the gross does not scare me very much
Almost like horror is pretty subjective and its not worth fighting over what's scarier
BATDR: The hunchback ain't it chief. Why couldn't we see him in full size, back straight in places where his height wouldn't be restricted. Your posture sucks babe.
BATIM: The legs. The fucking legssss. Need I say more
BATDR's thighs are stick thin and honestly no way will his lower body be able to support his gigantic upper body. I'm not willing to "cartoon logic" reason him out of this.
You cannot tell me that between DCLT and the first cycle of Henry's newborn hell that the Ink Demon is still limping from the injury Buddy gave him. What happened to invulnerability
Ways to incapacitate/kill the Ink Demon (Guarenteed to work): Go for the Legs Apparently (on both of them).
Look: getting chased by a monster is scary and slightly distressing in certain situations, but if the monster constantly gets stuck/glitched in the stairwell and amongst the crate and debris while you're trying to run away from him, he loses intimidation and a lot of it.
Also does not help if a good amount of his chases are scripted. Also does not help if his story presence is next to nothing in the most lore heaviest chapters.
Speaking of glitch: The glitch of the Ink Demon being able to get you in the vent. Makes my eye twitch.
"But Precious these are game glitches that's not fai-" I know
Honestly the nature of being chased by the Ink Demon on both games is relatively the same. It all ends with you hiding from him. Why does it matter that he chases you vs appears in front of you after a certain amount of time. You're still experiencing the same anxiety of trying to find a place to hide before he can kill you.
BATDR's claw length is annoyingly long. Honestly a lot of his body proportions are annoying. If he insists on walking on his hind legs holding his hands like a Jurassic Park Velociraptor, he best prepare to fall flat on his face. His balance must be so off holy fuck.
I still find BATIM's zombie walk wack, I'm not sorry.
BATIM's design just isn't all that visually interesting imo, this I am sorry for.
BATDR's design is interesting but it's both too little and too much. I'd list what I like but this is meant to be a negative post. I'll keep my positives in different post perhaps. I think Dark Revival's would benefit from some cartooniness but not as much as BATIM's ugly stress ball head.
This felt good to get out.
#ink demon#I'm tired of the Batim Ink Demon vs Batdr Ink Demon discourse and debates#so this is going to be scathing to some who really likes one over the other#batdr#batim#bendy and the dark revival#bendy and the ink machine#the ink demon#batdr ink demon#ink bendy#long rant#was trying not to be based honestly#i had to put aside my nostalgia for batim and my crush on batdr to make this#was this petty? yes#do i care? no#will i really leave the fandom if it ever gets bad? i left Animaniacs for less so yes yes i will#will still enjoy the game but i will not fandom interact again
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Deku has never solo fight the entirety of the series why do people make that up then call him a mc-sama like an insult even when he made his grand entrance and fault muscular again he thanks shindo cause shindo quirk help the only solo fight is gentle and that not really a fight even in the movies he had help too like lying with there whole chest
Whooaaaa guys- take a step back. So, you know, a lot of the bnha blogs follow each other lol. That being said, no we won't aways have the same complaints, and that's fine. Just be mindful lol.
Okay--on the Deku entrance:
I mean, I wasn't expecting it yet but it's here, so we have it. I'm excited for what's to come. I'm concerned about him seeing Bakugo because that was really a nightmare scenario for me, because god forbid Bakugo develop without Deku going rage mode over him. Which quite frankly has no impact on me by now. But instead of talking about something that hasn't even happened yet, I'll mention other things that have:
I think by now it's obvious that this fight clearly existed just to develop Shigaraki. That's the only thing that's come out of it. Bakugo's death developed Shigaraki, Mirio's challenge about his friends developed him, this current chapter developed him a tiny bit and showed us that Midoriya arriving brought his eye back to Tomura. Cool stuff, I love it and will never complain about it.
NOW rant time. I'm gonna talk on some common complaints---I care about the villains and the kids associated with them, mostly in this manga. I had the luxury of only picking this manga up in 2020 and reading straight through and not having to wait for a long time to find out what's going to be important and what's not. SO:
Personally, for me, it became pretty obvious once we got MVA that the 1A kids, as a class, will not be the focus of this manga. But that's a hefty amount of arcs and chapters into the manga to change that up, especially because right before that the awful JTA just happened. But, once I saw how important Toga and Shigaraki were going to be later on, I mean, I figured spending time on the class wasn't worth it. And so far...I was right to make that assumption. But, that's the perspective of someone who had the luxury of not waiting. There is no doubt--the 1A kids are the main draw for so many people. So I can't say I blame people for being upset about them being sidelined. Honestly--given that the first 200 chapters focused on them.
Unfortunately, imo this is one of Horikoshi's flaws. He puts weird focus on characters who previously never had it or needed it. Lifts up hopes and expectations, and then doesn't follow through. Basically, he uses certain characters to fill up time when it's convenient, then moves back on to the main cast he clearly intends to focus on. Kirishima? He's the biggest, and most unfortunate example of this, I gotta say. He's gonna get a tad bit of focus in this final arc, but look at the importance his fight is getting right now (*cricket noises*......). So, yeah.
On the pro heroes and side characters, specifically the Big 3:
For me personally, this specific subgroup of characters are what slow this manga down. Badly. Yes I like that there are pro heroes. Fun designs, powers, fights, etc. We need the adult characters to work in tandem with the kids. What I don't like is random pro heroes like Edgeshot, Best Jeanist, and Mirko getting so MUCH focus they never, ever, ever, needed to have (Mirko is another conversation). As I said above, the kid characters in this manga have always been the biggest draw for the series and franchise itself. The big cast (even if not utilized well) is what drew people in. So--these past few chapters, despite the amazing Shigaraki moments, imo have been a real drag. Again--not because of my fav (I'm biased, yes) but because this fight could have reached it's ending point (ending as in time to switch to a new POV) SO. MUCH. QUICKER. if we hadn't wasted time on the pros and Big 3. I'm sorry but the Big 3 have never lived up to their "hype" as characters. Neijire is basically just *there*, Tamaki has anxiety, cool, and Mirio is high school senior version of Deku except less interesting. Not everybody feels that way about them though, which is fine.
But as I said above, I think it's obvious this fight was to develop Shigaraki--who is quite frankly given the best treatment within this manga by the author. He's clearly got the most attention from Horikoshi, so I'm not surprised that all these side characters are being used to develop him. I don't necessarily have a complaint about that, more so I have a complaint about how long it's taking and how unnecessary some of it is. I don't need a Neijire backstory at this point. I don't need the Edgeshot/ Best Jeanist bff backstory when they've literally never been relevant before this. Just develop the characters you wanna develop, quickly, and move this manga forward. Please.
"The story of how we all became heroes."
I think it's too early to say this is being ignored. There is still a final final showdown that we haven't even gotten to yet. Yes the battles are split up, but that was necessary to address the members of the League. I think it's too early to say this hasn't been followed up on yet--because one of the long term things i've always expected was an all-hands-on-deck battle at the end, League and other minor villains included, with the UA kids and pros. And given the developments with the spies at the shelter where all the FAMILIES ARE? I'm still pretty confident in the manga going that direction. So yes, I think "how we all became heroes" is still the direction we're going. Right now, certain main characters have to play their role.
No, I don't think Deku is going to solo this fight and wipe the floor with Shigaraki. IF Midoriya gains the upper hand, I would hope that it would be because of some emotional circumstances messing Shigaraki up on his end, like it has been in past fights, and this entire fight? It would make sense as it's been happening this whole time. Midoriya vs. Shigaraki isn't a power up contest. Maybe it'll be treated like it at times to please the fight lovers, but it's not at its core. There is an emotional component to it that I think will obviously take precedent over the power up side of things. So I'm not worried there. I'm really excited actually. People who don't vibe with their stuff aren't gonna like it and there's nothing to be done about that.
The second ask:
Yeah. This take actually does annoy me. Look--I've had my reserves about Midoriya's writing. I have. I haven't hidden them or acted like there aren't issues. Compare his character now to the character we had from chapter 1 up to Kamino, there's quite a big difference. He was more thoughtful and reflective. After Kamino his inner world became so focused on the OFA lore that Horikoshi forgot to develop him and make him think about things. I absolutely hated the Rogue Arc but I will say at the very least, we saw the inside of his head for a bit and there was some reflection going on there. However, notice that currently it's been quite some time since we saw what he was thinking. His conversation with Ochacko was the most insight we'd gotten in a while, and we've gotten nothing since. I suspect that will change starting with this fight, because it literally has to. I'm not concerned about it--I think he's going to be thinking, wondering what to do, what to say, how to go about this with Shigaraki etc. But I can't deny that Midoriya hasn't been as thoughtful as he was initially characterized in the beginning.
WITH THAT BEING SAID---
I'm sorry but Shouto and Ochacko didn't earn their right to save their villains any better than Midoriya did. I mean, call it easy or streamlined or whatever but Midoriya can literally repeat the same line from chapter 1 toward Bakugo and say it toward Shigaraki. That shows that, hm, the idea he will save people who need it--REGARDLESS of who they are (Bakugo being a real piece of shit at the time)--has been ingrained in his character for a hot minute.
Shouto would NOT give two shits about Dabi if he wasn't his brother. I mean ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ there is nothing to suggest otherwise. SO--how that is more deserved or earned than Midoriya making the conscious choice to change gears, despite having no ties to Shigaraki or obligation to do so, is beyond me. Same with Ochacko.
All the kids needed a MOMENT to be like "Oh shit" with their villains. That doesn't make it undeserved. It had to happen. If they started this manga with a perfect world view that everyone should be saved, even the ones who hurt others and threaten their way of life for (seemingly) no reason, then we wouldn't have a narrative challenge in this final arc.
The challenge is changing their thinking, and applying their dedication to save innocent people in the streets, to saving people who won't be so easy to save. Even if they want it (which, the League does, badly) it won't be easy.
So no, while I have my reserves about some of Midoriya's writing, I certainly don't think his desire to save Shigaraki is undeserved. I think all 3 of the kids needed that wake up and smell the roses moment with their villains before they could do anything. They got those moments, and now they're moving forward based off of that.
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why, buzzdriessen, of course, for the otp questions. All of them
THANK YOUUU SO MUCH SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG
um i'm gonna end up putting most of this under a readmore bc i typed up 5 pages worth of response in google docs
What is each member’s love language?
ngl i’m not a huge love languages guy but van d’s is verbal expressions of love with a dash of physical touch (“i love you i love you i love you” while being all clingy) and buzzcut’s is just. being soft with van driessen while being hostile or at best apathetic toward everyone else. his love language is love
What would they describe as their perfect date?
bradley’s is doing one-armed pushups for an hour while dave sits on his back reading a magazine and fawning over how strong he is. david’s is them going camping, doing edibles and stargazing
Who made the first move?
buzzcut! van driessen waited sooooo long...he didn’t want to ruin their work relationship and he’s the most patient guy in the world so he just suffered in silence until buzzcut finally asked him out. i like thinking that they both had feelings for each other but were oblivious to the other’s feelings and the students had a bet as to when something would Finally happen
Who is more sentimental?
daviddddd. but bradley’s more sentimental than he lets on
Which member calls the other in to kill the spiders?
generally dave will take the spiders outside if he’s alone, he’s not really bothered by them, but if they’re in the same room together brad will take them out. the exception is shit with too many legs like centipedes, dave will fucking shriek until brad kills them
Who falls asleep first?
most of the time, van d. buzzcut’s always like “dave, if you fall asleep on the couch i’m NOT carrying you to bed this time”...and then he does anyway cuz he’s a big softie >:)
Who wakes up first?
most of the time, buzzcut. military habits die hard. occasionally van d will wake up earlier and make breakfast in bed for them :)
Who is more relaxed/carefree?
i mean...van driessen, obvs. buzzcut is ready to kill anyone who looks at either of them the wrong way
What’s one way their personalities complement one another? (Is it opposites attract or are they pretty similar?)
well. not to state the obvious but they’re incredibly opposites attract
Who is always cold?
omg i hc that david’s always warm, he’s like a little radiator, and bradley’s always cold
Which member is always trying to bring home stray animals and which member always has to say no?
van d is ALWAYS bringing home stray critters and nursing them back to health. buzzcut thinks it’s cute to an extent; at some point he’s like “puddin’ i love you but if you keep this up you WILL get rabies”
Who worries more?
they both do in their own ways, but i think bradley worries just a little bit more since dave’s been through SO much on the show. dave’s more vocal about it, though, he’s like “do you have your coat? scarf? gloves? wallet? keys? is your phone charged?”. brad’s more like “i don’t think [XYZ] is a good idea” and if he’s really worried he insists on tagging along with dave
What are some non-sexual activities they do together?
they spend a LOT of time cuddling on the couch watching pbs. they also like camping, david for all the cool nature stuff and bradley cuz he gets to go fishing. he’s a fishing guy. they also like. idk what the adult phrase is but parallel play. david reads while bradley whittles, imo he’d be into woodcarving. they just enjoy the silence and each other’s company
Who would be able to talk their way out of a speeding ticket?
buzzcut wouldn’t even have to talk; he’d just make eye contact with the cop and they’d let him go. van driessen doesn’t really speed but he’s so genuinely apologetic about jeopardizing other drivers they also just let him go
Who is the better cook?
bradley. david is competent but bradley is better and he likes it more, so he does the majority of the cooking
What are some things they don’t agree on?
BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD. buzzcut kind of admires van driessen’s patience for them but he also dislikes his lenience and thinks it enables them; and after they start dating he reeeeally hates how they walk all over the one person who gives a shit about them and how dave just lets himself be treated that way. david, of course, thinks he’s being way too hard on them, they’re neglected 15 year olds who shower once a month and live on nachos
Which member is more physically affectionate?
they’re both pretty physically affectionate, bradley’s always got an arm wrapped around david and david’s always holding onto him. when they lie on the couch together dave’s usually leaning on brad’s chest or resting his head in brad’s lap
Which member is more verbally affectionate?
lmao i gave it away earlier but van d. constant “i love you”s; but buzzcut has so, so many sappy pet names for van driessen...puddin’ is my favorite cause it’s so cheesy and honestly kinda ooc but others include prettyboy, little pansy (both originally used derogatorily but now they’re terms of endearment), babygirl, little dove...i have more but i’m getting embarrassed just saying these ones
How does each member feel about PDA?
van driessen likes light PDA, holding hands, a little kiss on the cheek, etc. buzzcut pretends to dislike PDA and he rarely initiates it but will definitely escalate it. if van d gives him a kiss buzzcut is ready to full-on make out in the middle of chili’s or wherever the hell they are
Who’s the safer driver?
dave...but he also dislikes driving. brad has the worst road rage ever but dave’s willing to put up with it if it means he can stare out the window
What’s each member's flirting style?
after their initial mutual-oblivious-pining they’re both pretty direct. dave drops a lot of compliments while brad keeps trying to do favors for him
Which member borrows (steals) the other one's clothing?
van driessen borrows buzzcut’s clothes; i don’t think buzzcut could fit in any of van d’s. one time after van d spends the night at buzzcut’s, brad walks into the kitchen to find dave making breakfast while wearing one of his gym shirts and he stops for a moment because it’s the cutest damn sight he’s ever seen
Who is the cuddle initiator?
they’re 50/50, buzzcut loooves doing that “yawn-turned-arm-around-shoulder” thing and van driessen loves cuddling up with him
Are they an introverted couple or an extroverted one—AKA would they prefer to go out to a party or event together or would they rather stay in?
they’re both pretty introverted, they attend some things out of obligation but they’ll stand in the corner and quietly bitch the whole time
Who is the big/little spoon?
vast majority of the time buzzcut is big spoon and van driessen is little spoon but they occasionally switch
Who is more likely to make an impulsive decision and who is the voice of reason?
they both make different kinds of impulsive decisions. buzzcut has to stop van d from playing in the rain cause he’s gonna catch pneumonia and van d has to stop buzzcut from fighting people all the time
Who’s more likely to laugh at their own jokes?
dave. brad laughs at how cute he thinks this is
Who takes longer showers?
also dave. like i said, buzzcut’s military habits die hard. dave convinces him to shower together after giving some bullshit speech about conserving water and the environment and all that. brad immediately sees through it and is like “you know...you can just ask”
Who is “more loved” by the in-laws?
all of their parents suck so they’re not really involved but in my liddle backstories i made for them, bradley has 2 older sisters who LOVE david, they’re so excited to have a new baby brother who does all the “girly” stuff bradley wouldn’t let them do with him as kids (they’re in their 50s now but that doesn’t stop them). they braid his hair and do his nails and stuff and brad’s like “dave you don’t have to put up with this if you don’t want it” and dave’s like “no bradley i like it :)”
if tom (david’s deceased older brother) was still alive i think he and brad would get along; imo they’re both into more “masculine” hobbies than dave is so they’d often talk about those. ofc tom dying in the gulf war and brad being fucked from his time in the military definitely (and rightfully/correctly) contributes to van driessen’s sheer loathing of the military
Who is more likely to get jealous?
yknow last time i thought abt this i said buzzcut but i’m changing my mind. i loooove jealous girlfriend van d. if any of the moms try flirting with brad during curriculum night dave starts getting all clingy
What was the most surprising thing they learned about one another once they started dating?
brad is surprised to learn that dave swears quite a bit and also eats meat (but only from one of his hippie friend’s farms). dave is surprised at how damn good brad is at cooking and that he smokes
Who stays up way too late and who tries to drag them to bed?
they’re both guilty of staying up way too late. like i said earlier, bradley ends up carrying david to bed if he stays up too late. if brad’s up too late, david insists on staying up with him, but he’ll start softly humming and trying to cuddle with him until brad gives in
Who’s messier?
dave, but he never sets out to make a mess, it just happens and then he finds himself surrounded by clutter
Which member is more likely to accidentally spend $300 at Target?
i think they’re both pretty mindful of their spending, but probably van driessen
Who wanted/would want kids first?
neither really wants kids since they spend so much time around them at work. they have a kitty that dave finds as a stray and brings home
Who gives piggy back rides to the other?
they don’t really do piggyback rides but sometimes buzzcut carries van d around bridal-style
Who fell in love first?
between the two of them, david, but everyone else noticed they liked each other and wanted them to get together first. definitely a major point of gossip in the teacher’s lounge when neither of them were in there
#THANK YOU AGAIN I LOOOOVE THINKING ABT THEM#beavis and butthead#buzzdriessen#david van driessen#bradley buzzcut
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1 and 14 for the smut asks!
(oh my god I'm sorry for sitting on this FOREVER and I know I have at least one other ask from you that I've sat on for even longer OTL I promise I am not ignoring you, my brain just doesn't work!!)
1. Share your philosophy of smut. Why do you write it, and what does it mean to you?
I would honestly love to know from anyone who has read my smut what they think my philosophy is, haha, because I'm not sure I know. Like: in general, I write it because it's fun. It low-key turns me on and/or gives me happy comforting feelings. But I'd say that the reason I would include a sex scene in a specific part of a specific fic is to explore what the characters are seeking, emotionally or psychologically? And I know there's always ~discourse~ around whether sex scenes need to serve a purpose or whatever, but for me--well, yeah, every scene needs to serve a purpose and sex scenes don't get an exception, or to frame it another way... if it's not accomplishing SOMETHING, even if that's just more characterization, it's probably not a very good sex scene, lmao. I mean we joke about 2000 word blowjobs as character studies, but IMO they should reveal a lot about the characters, from their basic preferences and what they find pleasurable to a world of emotional layers.
(Fittingly, I was just interrupted by two raccoons fucking in my back yard. GET A ROOM, YA HOOLIGANS.)
Maybe The means by which I waken and Choice in my hands are good examples to talk about because they're in the same continuity? In The means, it resolves the mutual pining so it's meant to be a release of emotion or a bit cathartic? I actually don't think it does a good job of answering what they're seeking emotionally, though, other than they both want to be loved (if I were writing it now, I'd probably say that Daniel is seeking to be valued for something other than his day job). But I definitely did not come to that fic with as strong of an idea of what I wanted to SAY, I dashed it out in a three-week-long fugue state after having been in this fandom for like a month. I plead temporary insanity. Anyway, in Choice, on the other hand, the main sex scene is in the first half of the fic, and it's very squarely about Daniel seeking security but not knowing how to ask for it.
14. What are your favorite smut tropes?
I love love love it when two people are emotionally SO GONE FOR each other, and they haven't admitted this in so many words, but it ends up being expressed in the emotional intensity of the sex (or they say it accidentally or WHATEVER). I also love it when people are surprised--like, you?? want to have sex with ME???--and this adds extra joy to it. Also how can I not mention f1blr's own "guy wakes up with a vagina and has to have sex with the person he's in mutual pining with to change back", whatever the fuck it's called? But, also, trans characters. No explanation needed, that man has a pussy, get over it. (But explanation/exploration of the concept also welcome if done competently, of course.) I'm sure there are more worth mentioning, but it's 1am and I am going to sleep!
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Sorry, obviously nobody needs to believe me, but I’m from NY and used to party quite often with people in R cycle and it was known by everybody that R slept with other guys. The only question people had was if he was cheating on L or if it was an open relationship. R was/is famous for hitting up hot guys online for sex, and because I refuse to believe L didn’t know about it (he’s a smart guy), I can only conclude they were in an open relationship.
They were both adults who made a decision about their relationship and it’s nobody business. I don’t think people are being judgmental about it, but it would make sense this would be a problem for L if he was not really 100% OK with it. People can think whatever, but IMO, this was the number 1 reason why R didn’t want to move to LA, get married and “settle down”. No matter how much he loved L (and I do think he did very much and is deeply hurting now), he just couldn’t give up his freedom and hookups.
I have so badly wanted to express this for months but was afraid to do so. Someone finally said it. I saw a few reddit posts over the years about R hooking up with lots of guys.
It also kind of makes me angry. I'm tired of pretending it doesn't. I'm not trying to judge him. Freedom is great. But maybe don't be in a long term committed relationship that is bicoastal. Also, was living in NY worth losing L over? This is what I keep coming back to. I should clarify I'm mad about the long distance more than anything.
I don't judge R he's very hot. He's allowed to have fun. But I am team L here and I'm glad he found peace this year. I hope R can move past this heartache. He loved R very much.
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random game roundup 3
A Hell of a Journey - PWYW
what if it was the divine comedy but virgil was just an absolute piece of shit. he had no fucking idea what was going on. you have to go through hell to get to purgatory and this idiot is no help at all
this is a short & sweet twine game. the illustrations carry it. it's pretty cute and took me under 5 minutes to read
Samorost 2 - $4.99
hey i said this was random game roundup not random itch game roundup. i just have 3000 itch games
amanita design is literally like the all-timer for 00s indie devs. ive known of their point-and-clicks for basically the entire time ive been conscious. i think ive only played samorost 1 and machinarium before now.
its hard to beat the level of vibes-based gaming samorost operates on. this is what gnome tumblr is all about
apparently in 2020 this got a remaster that let the game support modern resolutions using AI upscaling on old assets, and to its credit it ran awesome for a game this old. it didnt fuss at all about tabbing out or using a second monitor while playing. however i think the upscaled assets look pretty shit? lol. like the art direction in this game is extremely strong but the raster images definitely were not meant to be seen bigger than 1024x768 and it makes the characters who scaled up much better stick out suuuper bad.
music completely rips ass tho. hell yeah brother
i actually went ahead and finished this at an entire half an hour playtime. big fan of samorost 2
T.A.R.S - $1.99
included in: Bundle for Ukraine
first thing i got struck by with this game is that it is extremely good looking for the price tag and my lowered standards. there is also a lot of voice acting which is pretty amateur but a lot of heart went into it. i could not find an option to subtitle the dialogue which kinda sucked
T.A.R.S is a third person shooter with a focus on difficulty via being killed in one hit and having very limited resources. you're fighting werewolves or something. i didn't play long enough to see them do more than just chase after me in a straight line so idk if the enemy AI is interesting
one of the big downsides of T.A.R.S is that the game is dark as fuck. shot like a modern hollywood film. like that one episode of game of thrones. i cant play this on my high refresh rate monitor because the sun is up right now and the ambient light in my room is too much and i cant see anything. also the game emphasizes wearing headphones and focusing on hearing the enemies before you see them but the sound design is um. not great. i kept getting snuck up on because the guys dont make any noises until theyre two inches away
i don't think i gave this a good enough chance but i'm not a horror fan nor am i a shooter fan so it's really not for caelums. maybe you'll like it tho
Panic Factory - $1.50
included in: Bundle for Ukraine
panic factory is a puzzler pretending to be a shooter. you are an eco-activist that has been trapped in a torture dungeon by a corporate CEO and need to figure your way out. with a shotgun. and whatever ammo you can scrounge up
the voice acting in this is very hammy and the pixel art is appealing to look at so the presentation is pretty solid. i found this difficult to spend a lot of time in because again i don't like shooters and i found that the reaction times this game expects out of you in the first level to a be a bit extreme. also required arrow keys to move :thumbsdown:
Weird Grief - PWYW
im so fucking sorry for how hard i laughed
i honestly really liked this. weird grief is a twine about the immediate aftermath and slow recovery after the death of a loved one. and you are poly. and furry. it has explicit sex scenes so watch out for that. but this is worth reading imo
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Hey gin I havent seen you do any like thoughts or meta posts for the fandoms you're in but I saw your great art for stan and ford (love it XD so good) and I was wondering about your thoughts on their relationship (the friendship, the incident, the reunion after years apart, ford getting sucked into the portal after the fight, second reunion, reconcile?) No pressure obviously. Just wanted to ask and say I love to see ur stuff :>
I like this ask, i'm flattered you want to hear about what I think of things!
The rest of this is gonna be under a read more, sorry if its too much or if i dont explain well
To start off with their initial friendship: I think it’s a bit hard to say much about it. Originally I was going to call it weird that they don’t seem to have any other friends than each other, but I think that’s just probably something that wasn’t worth elaborating on within the confines of the show.
They have each others backs and are very close, thats fine.
.
For Stan breaking Ford’s science experiment: Funnily enough, I think their reasons for being mad at each other after this are actually very similar! I made a little picture to show what I mean (which I’ll post again but bigger, [here])...
Stan takes Ford’s willingness to leave him in the dust and abandon “their dream” to mean Ford doesn’t care about him, and Ford takes Stan’s inability to let his brother go and nonchalantness towards ruining his project to mean Stan doesn’t care about him! Maybe this could’ve gotten talked out if their father hadn’t intervened, but who knows.
I had been wondering why Ford never tried to go with Stan or prevent his disownment, but like I said in [that comic I did the other day], I think there would be an attitude of “Well then Stan would just get his way!”
and I think that attitude of “I’m not gonna let the other twin have what they want/win” prevails in both of them from this point onward.
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For the boys meeting again after over 10 years: They obviously do still care about each other. Stan hauled his outlaw self to Oregon for his brother without an explanation, and Ford in all his paranoia still regards Stan as someone he can rely on. But, neither brother behaves like the other wanted them to, which launches them back into another huge fight.
Both of them regard the other as selfish, and imo they both were being selfish at this point. Ford kinda treats Stan as disposable, while Stan basically tries to act like there’d be no reason for bad blood to be between them.
I have Ford bringing up the idea of Stan not being responsible, which I think actually applies for both of them (you built a doomsday device and now you want your estranged brother to help you fix your mess??).
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Stan, Ford, and the portal: I don’t have much to say about this part other than I think it’s Stan’s horrible wake up call that he cant shirk blame off him for everything. Especially not this time.
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Getting Ford back: Ford’s been gone for a long time, he’s missed basically Stan’s entire growth as a person, and he immediately treats him as if he were the exact same guy as 30 years ago. He pretty much treats Stan like he’s beneath him at this point, and thinks he’s still not responsible in the slightest (and also doesn’t seem to acknowledge his own responsibility with regards to the portal).
I think this shows well in the scene where they go from joking in front of the mirror to Ford basically demanding his life back, glossing over the fact that Stan only even took up residence there to try and fix everything.
Meanwhile Stan expects a thank you for fixing what is partially his own mistake, which really isn’t fair to Ford, especially when Stan himself never bothered to say “sorry” for ANY of the ways he’s hurt Ford.
So while they are cordial and get along sometimes, the big underlying conflict is Stan feels like Ford thinks he’s a screw up, and Ford... refuses to recognize he’s not. So they fight. Because neither one of them wants to acknowledge the other has valid points.
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It’s funny, because they’re both willing to concede their faults in OTHER situations. Stan actually says “sorry” to the twins and admits he’s much too stubborn in the Stanchurian Candidate, and Ford is willing to admit he’s to blame for Weirdmageddon... Yet Stan won’t say “sorry” to Ford, and Ford blames his dimensional accident on Stan. They’re both just horribly stubborn.
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Their reconcile: Stan’s sacrifice shows Ford once and for all that Stan’s not the same irresponsible guy he was from the past... and that’s it really.
I dont really have a lot to say here because I actually wasn’t all that satisfied with the ending. I think those two honestly still had a lot to work out before they decide they’d be able to bear living close quarters together without still fighting. Unfortunately theres just not enough time in the show for that! Maybe there’s more in Journal 3 but I haven’t read it!
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Overall I want to say I think their dysfunctional relationship is written really well. Them fighting over something stupid while the world is literally ending is too real
Anyway those are my thoughts, thank you for sticking around if you made it this far. I’ll put the pictures higher quality in [another post] in case they’re too small to read here. (Also thank you, anon, for the compliments and the question)
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Hey sorry this is random and I hope it’s not a bother, but I saw you mention you have the Genesis: Chapter & Verse book and I was just wondering, do you know if it’s different from those documentary interviews where they go album by album? Bc I’ve seen those posted under the same title so like do you know if the book is worth getting if you’ve already seen those?
not a bother at all !! i assume by documentary you're referring to the together and apart/sum of the parts doco? if so i think the book is quite different, especially considering it was published a fair while before the doco was even made - i actually prefer chapter and verse to together and apart.
chapter and verse is not divided by album, it's more split up by eras and there's more of an even distribution of comments from all the members imo. it goes much more into depth into the early years/pre genesis stuff as well. i would say that the one thing chapter and verse doesn't really do is discuss the solo projects in depth, but i'm sure any of the guys' memoirs can take care of that.
granted, it's been a long time since i read chapter and verse or watched the documentary, but out of all the books and docos, chapter and verse is still my favourite way to consume the entire genesis story as it were. there's also a lot of great photos and a timeline at the back !
#hope this helped :-)#ive reread chapter and verse about 785473593 times so i may be a bit biased#plus it's quite expensive now since i think it's out of print?#but literally the only genesis book i would not recommend is steve's memoir........ sorry king but that was Bad for many reasons#answered
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Thank you for your absolutely correct take about V/Vergil. I've been screaming about this ever since it happened and ever since people got mad. I saw some blog say that they told this story to their grandma and that their grandma said V should've been his own character. And they tried to make this a flex. Trying to make people understand what the story was actually about is so damn exhausting.
Thank you for being correct
Good morning, I just woke up after sleeping like I had my head underwater the entire time but anyway.
Their grandma?? Why their grandma?? 😭 what's grandma going to do?? Drive up to capcom headquarters, demand to speak to itsuno or matt walker to demand dmc 5 to be pulled and immediately rewritten - never mind the long road of development hell it took to follow up dmc 4 - all because their grandchild (and her apparently?) didn't like the outcome and actual interesting story telling purpose a character had?
Like, not to sound disrespectful to new fans who were introduced to the franchise with 5 because I know a lot of new fans aren't like the behavior that's being discussed, but I'm a betting kind of guy and I'm pretty sure those "fans" who sprouted this type of shit at the time were extremely new to the franchise (most likely just coming to it bc they saw pictures of V going around on tumblr or twitter) and not really understand just how much weight the whole conflict that was concluded in 5; Dante and Vergil's relationship, their main conflict, and that outcome of their main conflict (both dmc 3 and dmc 1) that's been at least a point of interest in every game (minus dmc 2, bc dmc 2) not even just chronologically but also like irl since the very beginning of the franchises roots dmc 1.
Like for Vergil to be redeemed, him finally coming to truths with Dante, and him meeting Nero wasn't just a way to close a chapter of the sons of Sparda saga just to close the chapter of the sons of Sparda saga - this shit ended an era for its fans who waited since 2008. ELEVEN YEARS for a follow up on dmc 4. Which means the ending to 5 just doesn't hold as much emotional weight for new fans compared to those (including yours truly) who did wait those elven years and after the living fucking dumpster fire that was dmC and how poorly it did, we never thought dmc 5 would ever happen. Then e3 2018 happened.
Like dmc 5 isn't the perfect game (personally its my second favorite dmc game but mainly because nothing imo can top dmc 3 - both story and gameplay wise) but it pretty much is for exactly what it is and just how special it is to those who waited for almost a decade for it and like having Vergil's character further developed and redeemed on top of that through V? It just made the wait the worth it as someone who was there and had one of his very first video game experiences with devil may cry 3 during its early days and for someone who who was just there for 5 for the - as a previous anon put; "uwu goth boy" Isn't going to get all of this emotional impact that like thousands of people in this fandom had with that first announcement trailer showing Nero, who for a brief few moments scarred the shit out of everyone that he was dmC Dante (😅 good times) new character Nico, who immediately captured everyone's heart, Nero's fucking legendary memed to hell and back theme devil trigger, and that last few seconds showing Dante on riding throughout the ruins of Redgrave had me personally HOWLING.
Like, I just wish I could go back and have my first reaction to that trailer all over again it was literally nothing I've ever experienced before and even with the dmc 4 and 5 SE trailers, which were both Vergil heavy and me of course being the biggest fucking ride or die Vergil fanboy there is and ever will be (sorry woolie, I'll doubt you'll ever see this but you can fight me for it) even though trailers while I was hype as shit and wrecked my voice for an entire week (both instances for both trailers actually lol) even those trailer reactions don't come even close to just the emotional response that was that first dmc 5 trailer and I even doubt unless dmc 6 does carry the even number dmc game curse and development hell pulls another dmc 4 on us and we don't see it for another eleven years (capcom pls I can't do it again) I don't even think a dmc 6 announcement trailer will provoke even as close of a reaction from me, but I still hope it's hype as shit though lol.
Tldr: I really really really like dmc 5 and what it did especially with V - Vergil's development and redemption - Nero's whole finally proving himself and really owning and making himself, and Dante finally getting his brother back. Pre/early launch "just here for uwu goth dick and literally nothing else" ridder V fans wouldn't just understand how far this franchise has come and honestly they're probably not even still here - just moved on with the next "object" of simping when the bandwagoning died out and I'd like to to think the good newer fans stayed and took their place, which I appreciate because this franchise is one closest to my heart and I'm glad it grew the fandom that was once only small and niche that barely had any clue what it was into something more and even if a good portion is toxic as all hell I'm really proud about the goods parts of it :)
#devil may cry#devil may cry 5#dmc v#vergil sparda#moosh gives his dumb opinions#moosh speaks#moosh answers#non request related
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Hi. I reread your Floating Array post because of the continuation of it, and had a thought that was probably buried under completely agreeing with every point about Penny. You mentioned how Cinder is the only person ever to replace their weapon completely in RWBY, and i wanted to ask what you think Jaune is going to do with his sword. Every upgrade he's gotten so far was to the shield, and I'm actually thinking he might throw the remaining half of the blade away entirely, seeking to (cont)
(part 2) hyperfocus on his role as support during Volume 9, and even once he heals from that enough to acknowledge he DOES need some form of offence, he still won't go back to a sword.
WHAT A GREAT QUESTION
(and shout out to Jo’s post about Crocea Mors as murder weapon for giving me a place to start here)
First I’m just gonna be incredibly pedantic, I’m sorry, bear with me, but-- technically he has upgraded the sword before, insofar as he upgraded the sheath. Before their walk across Anima, he didn’t have the ability to make the big two-handed broadsword version, which the sheath megazords into the sword to make. But he’s also hardly used it in a while, to my recollection, because his style has changed so much since unlocking his Semblance. As you noted, so much of his growth as a person has been tied up in his learning to accept that he’s defense guy, not offense guy.
As to your actual question... I don’t have a solid theory one way or another as to how this is going to go, because I think it’s going to depend a great deal on a) how long the gang is in superhell and b) how much fighting they have to do while they’re down there.
Jaune’s obviously been deeply traumatized by what he’s had to do; I don’t think he has any interest in using the sword ever again, if he can help it. And right now, he can’t-- he’s carrying a hilt and about five inches worth of shard, and unless he wants to try and use it like a dagger, that’s useless to him. But I’m not sure if they’re going to be facing violent threats in the immediate future. If they do-- if Jaune must fight to keep RWBY safe-- I think he’ll force himself to make peace with the fact that he needs a blade of some kind, and that will affect his decision-making moving forward. But if they’re just processing/speaking to the dead/looking for a way to escape... he might decide to make some drastic changes.
Here’s a few ways I think it could go:
Option 1: Same As It Ever Was. If Jaune feels like he’s powerless to help his friends because he’s not armed, he may just get a new sword all over again when they return. I’m less enthused by this option, as I think what he’s gone through merits a Big Change, but also... weapons really rarely change on this show, plus there’s the family heirloom angle. It could be that he finally gets a sword he makes himself, instead of one he inherited, and that its new design reflects his growth.
Option 2: Some Steve Rogers Shit. Who needs a sword anyway, huh?! If Jaune has to do a lot of fighting on the island, it will have to be like this (unless he uses his sheath as a blade, like Blake will have to do until she finds the other half of Gambol Shroud). This, I think, would be most in line with the trajectory he was already on-- constantly upping his defensive capabilities. Before he killed Penny, I lowkey thought this would be where he landed eventually, but now that he’s had to use the sword, I wonder if this will be the kind of thing where he won’t be able to move past it until he’s used it again. And his current shield isn’t exactly aerodynamic, if he wanted to go full Steve Rogers and throw it. But then, you know who had a circular shield? Which brings me to my current favorite--
Option 3: Milo and Akouo Redux. This strikes me as very likely, especially if Jaune gets to spend significant time with Pyrrha again in the afterlife. It would be a step-forward, step-back for Jaune, growth-wise, which I think maps onto where he is. On the one hand, letting go of the family heirloom legacy and expectations, but on the other hand, still clinging to someone else to help define him instead of forging his own path. But to mold himself more in Pyrrha’s image wouldn’t have to be a purely unhealthy thing, I think, depending on how it’s pulled off. The thing about the sword being also a javelin and a rifle is that it gives ranged capability, which feels more in line with the support role Jaune’s grown into. Plus, carrying a spear after unlocking his Semblance when Cinder’s spear, clearly meant to evoke Milo as a cruel joke, nearly killed Weiss... yeah, that feels very full-circle to me.
Option 4: Gun! Probably not, as he’s never shown any interest in carrying one and is unlikely to start now, but I might as well say it’s an option. Weiss shoots people now! Why can’t he? This would be a huge departure for him, and imo show that he’s backsliding-- trying to be combat-effective no matter the cost, in a way that feels a little less personal than having to stab someone.
I’m eager to hear what other people think about this, though, because I think they could reasonably take this in about fifteen different directions.
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