#I'M CHEWING THE DRYWALL
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*thinks about Black Sails and ExU: Calamity at once*
*begins full-body trembling like a chihuahua*
#black sails#exu Calamity#it's about TRAGEDY it's about PREQUELS it's about FORGONE CONCLUSIONS#it's about unsung heroes or forgotten villains it's about inevitability it's about history retold#it's about fighting the future and losing it's about the stories we tell our children it's about the end of an age it's about HOPE#it's about the space between the lines of the annals of history it's about the LOVE that lives there it's about what that love will do#it is not incidental it is not inconsequential it's something so much worse: ESSENTIAL#I'M CHEWING THE DRYWALL#my nonsense
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my main problem with For the Future is that I got so used to seeing fanart Calebs that canon Caleb looks weird
#toh spoilers#for the future#toh s3 spoilers#I'M OBSESSED#I'M CHEWING THE DRYWALL#the casual “oh shut up” MY BOY PHILIP HAS BEEN HERE BEFORE
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—Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
-- 'One Art' by Elizabeth Bishop
you ever think about how after everything Ahsoka told Vader "I'm not leaving you" and it wasn't enough
#ahsoka#star wars#anakin skywalker#darth vader#swr#tcw#xuserann#my art#going FERAL about these two again actually#and about poetry.#something something about losing. and leaving. and being left. and coming back too late.#imagine ahsoka hearing how vader died.#padme and luke both said 'there's still good in him' and ahsoka KNEW that and yet he would not show it to her.#i'm chewing drywall
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The way Nandor said to Guillermo "I know you better than anyone else" and then proceded to prove it.
He knows you better than you know yourself Guillermo. You thought he wasn't paying attention but he was, of course he was.
#i'm chewing glass#i'm eating the drywall#yeah okay#you know what i love this season#wwdits#what we do in the shadows#nandermo#guillermo de la cruz#wwdits spoilers#nandor the relentless#mine
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The thing about Gale's hubris that gets me is that not all of it comes from wanting power for powers sake. I mean, yes, that's some of it of course, have you seen the wizards, they all suffer from delusions of grandeur in this game occasionally but like
Imagine you're Gale. You're in a relationship with the literal goddess of magic (who's also been teaching you magic since you were like 10 or something don't be weird it's totally fine) and you know. You know she's only interested because you're a wizard, and a damn powerful one at that. Wouldn't you also want to amass all the power you could, to keep your status?
And then when you run out of things to learn in Faerun well, there's always the magic of the gods. But they don't want you to learn that. Indeed, when you bring it up to Mystra, she just pats your head and tells you to be satisfied with what you have. Most mortals don't even get this much, why can't you be happy?
It's not like your time might be running short. It's not like there might be some new up and coming prodigy to catch Mystra's eye, and then where does that leave you? Alone with your broken heart and nothing to show for it.
So of course he's going to do what he can to maintain that status. Most people would. And hey, becoming a god would be a pretty cool side effect. It's not like it's that far outside the realm of possibility for mortals to ascend to godhood in Faerun. Even the current Mystra was once a mortal woman.
It just makes me feral that underneath the 5 layers of hubris is a core of insecurity that he's only wanted for what he can do and not who he is. But if he is only wanted for what he can do, he's gonna make sure he's damn fucking good at it.
#bg3#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios#gale makes me want to chew drywall#the insights you get from his romance make me even more feral lmao#boy doesn't do anything in half measures lol#he doesn't come off as insecure at all which is what always throws me but#there are moments in his romance where I'm like there it is bitch I see the vulnerability lmao
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i think one of the reasons i really like bernard and darla is because they met him at a time when he wasn't robin. to me, tim drake has always felt like an amalgamation of robin and tim. and he's good at it y'know? being tim drake and robin but when bernard and darla meet him at grieves he can't be robin. he has to just be tim drake. and he's obviously struggling but he tries for his father. and that's so interesting to me because who is tim drake without robin? he obviously doesn't know either. and we see him explore this in urban legends. he even asks himself in urban legends, "who am i if i'm not robin?" and i don't think it's too much of a surprise that at the end of urban legends, when he's figured out what he wants, he chooses the boy who only ever knew him as tim drake.
#isn't it fascinating???#tim drake who is always tim and a mask‚ and if he isn't robin‚ then he's drake or red robin or something else#and when then sits down‚ and takes a good look at himself and starts asking questions#who am i without the mask? what do i want in life? who is tim drake?#when he finally figures it out at the end of urb.leg and he realizes what he wants‚ he chooses the boy who only ever knew him as tim drake!#doesn't that make you want to start chewing on drywall????#doesn't that make you want to sit on your kitchen floor and start rocking yourself as you sob????#HE CHOOSES THE BOY WHOSE NEVER KNOWN HIM WITH THE MASK *wails*#also disclaimer i feel like i'm simplifying war games a little bit#and like i don't think he stopped being robin until like 2/3/4? months into the school year??#but like for the sake of the post you kmow what i mean#dc#bernard dowd#timber#tim drake#timbern
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thinking about the Charlie's birthday stream. not the ending, no, we think about that too much. no I think about everything else:
the happiness, the joy, the warmth of it all for nearly two full hours
the lack of mob spawns that night because it’s Charlie's birthday and he has eggs with him. how intentional it is. how funny it is and how sad it makes me because its so considerate
thinking about Tallulah by Charlie's side the whole time, diligently leading him from item to item as his little "guardian angel". Charlie trying to be a good tio and falling a little short sometimes, accidentally leaving Tallulah behind when she crashes but still trying cause that’s his sobrina. how she has to actually hit him to get his attention and how bad she must feel but it's so fucking funny each time
(how can anyone blame him when he never gets to hang out with the eggs enough to know he should wait for her? Charlie had Juanaflippa for what- 10 days? and was practically shunned by several others and himself from interacting with other eggs after his action, which is understandable, but only for so long. can they not see how he plays with the eggs? hear how soft his voice gets around them? don't the other islanders understand?)
this is maybe the longest he's gotten to hang out with tallulah since he got his backpack. Wilbur is his best friend and this was the egg he left behind. He's still learning and Tallulah still loves him despite it. Two people missing someone dearly, yet they have each other even if it's hard to realize
thinking about "Maybe Tallulah, you were the gift. I think you're the gift, Tallulah."
thinking about Richas, his nephew because Charlie has Mike, an actual brother that is equally excited to see him time and time again. A nephew coming around with the slime head and slime balls, like a mini Charlie, who is decked out in a full ghillie suit. Charlie who plays with the egg, pretending to be a spooky monster and richas playing along and getting scared
thinking about Charlie not knowing how to use the ghillie suit properly so he's still clearly visible to the eggs, yet they act like he isn't for his sake. shepherding him around from place to place because charlie is a little clueless yeah (he's in exile, go easy on him), but they are patient and happy to "tag along" and let him lead
thinking about them all taking a picture with him in the school, charlie wanting one with both of them, something to remember the day by.
thinking about how charlie is clearly loved by the eggs, his huevos, and how he clearly loves them back and is trying to be better for them even if he struggles so much
thinking about Charlie Slimecicle on his birthday, for once happy after everything he's been through, Tallulah and Richarlyson by his side
just him, his sobrina, and his nephew on a little scavenger hunt under the stars while the rest of the server remains quiet and calm. asleep while they remain lively
just them
happy
#slimecicle#qsmp#qsmp tallulah#qsmp richarlyson#qsmp slimecicle#i am soooooooooooo normal about charlie and the eggs#let him be HAPPY PLEASE#it kills me time and time again how#the eggs clearly love him#but charlie doesn't love himself#i'm chewing on drywall over this#why did it have to end like it did#we were so close to having all the focus on Charlie and tallulah and richas for a couple of days#of charlie beginning to HEAL#even if just a little#all of his time with lullah and richas gets overshadowed by codeflippa and i hate it truly im sorry but i do#sorry this just bugs me to no end and it's why i started writing again in the first place#mad ramblings#ALSO THINKING ABOUT BAD LETTING HIM 'BABYSIT' WHILE HE STEPPED AWAY#GOD I MISS HIM INTERACTING WITH THE EGGS#LET HIM HAVE A FUN NO STAKES LITTLE MISSION WITH ALL OF THEM PLEASE NO ANGST#TALLULAH#THE ONLY PERSON TO GO OUT OF HER WAY TO GIVE CHARLIE A BIRTHDAY GIFT OF HER OWN VOLITION#THAT MAY HAVE DISAPPEARED WHEN THEY REMODELED HIS HOME FOR CHARLIES REAL 'GIFT' I HATE YOUUUUUUUU
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OK BUT YOUR TAGS WERE ALL SO CORRECT AND I WAS THINKING THAT TOO
someone in my gc mentioned that joe just rolls with the whole waking up in someone's body so easily and i thought about it and realized well yeah, his old life wasn't really much. he wasn't living, he was existing.
UGH I JUST. I CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE AND I NEED THIS SHOW TO STICK THE LANDING, PLEASE I'VE BEEN SO WOUNDED
EXACTLY!!! he's not living, he's just alive.
we can assume he has a stable life since he has a job he likes and he's good at, a nice house, and a car. he has friends and people he cares about and he seems happy with them, but still he's so... sad and lonely? and it's not only because poom's eyes are like that, the man is ACTING
the way he latches onto ming so fast too... yes he has a pretty face and joe wants to fuck him at first sight, and he tells him to stay and cooks for him because he is nice, but i wonder if they aren't kind of attracted to each other's loneliness in a way. the ramen scene makes me insane because of how easily and quickly they fall into something like domesticity with joe taking care of ming as if he's been doing that forever and both of them being so relaxed and joe doesn't even know ming's name yet
#joe's smile at the end of the ep... please throw me into the sun#he's such a caring and giving person i'm abnormal about the whole thing#i'm walking a tightrope here with all my hcs btw 😭#but i believe them wholeheartedly#i'm chewing through the drywall why isn't it friday yet!!!!#asks#bunnakit#my stand in#my stand in the series#mingjoe
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oh i love your eclipse design, oh he is for sure gonna become interesting..
He gives off the vibe that he can certainly ride a motorbike
and listens to ACDC and guns n roses
i thought of 'back in black' song when I first saw the sneak peak of him.
I feel he's gonna be an unexpected surprise visit.
Aaaaaah thank you, I'm so glad you like his design!! 💖💖💖 Oh and you're absolutely picking up on the right vibe...!!
Back in Black is definitely an LDR Eclipse song!
And LDR Eclipse does ride a motorbike! (and the reader is going to ride it with him at least once in the story ;D)
#ask#love death and rollerskates#spadille speaks#LDR spoilers#yesterday I discovered a new song that fit a scene between eclipse moon and reader so perfectly...#going insane chewing drywall because it will be so long until we get to that scene#but that's ok because I'm also insane about every other scene leading up to that point
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ashley in c3e25
#critical role#ygifs#ashley#cr3#okay but like literally ? gorgeous .#also the way she had fearne in this episodes? heartbreaking . to this day#fearne being so vulnerable and hopeful and sincere while everyone around here is dripping with suspicion I just#she wanted them back. that's all she wanted. that's all she's ever wanted.#and the way that fantasy is dismantled while she's standing there eyes watering with her heart on her sleeve I Just#to dream that the love is so overpowering and omnipresent with you and then you meet your people* and it Just Isn't#anyway ashley delivered and I'm chewing the drywall again#also like she fuckin babe-d out anna williams era 5ever#the heartbreaking ''what were they like?'' GOd ok#ashleyin
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i'm just gonna leave this here.
#noah sebastian#bad omens#bad omens band#noah sebastian bad omens#God I love this man more than I love anything#i gotta stop#Noah Sebastian Davis#I'm weakkkk#please please please#I'm on my knees for him#he's so pretty#handsome boy#An angel baby#angel on earth#How is he real#im chewing on drywall
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[TUVOKTOBER: Day 15]
At First Sight.
#tuvoktober#excerpt from the novel 'pathways'#tuvok/t'pel#Tuvok#st voyager#st voyager fanart#T'Pel#hey [vibrating from thinking about Tuvok - Vulcan Love & Gender Identity & Sexuality too much] -extends hand- chew through drywall with me#comix#something about how Tuvok's identity is half T'Pel and has been for decades he's spent DECADES growing with half of him being a person#he's not just deeply in love with but literally IS. He literally literally /IS/ part of T'Pel and his children literally ARE a part of him#the SECOND he sees T'Pel Tuvok says 'Being with her isn't enough I need to BE her. NOW.'#that novel had barely anything about T'Pel in it but I'll forgive them bc what they did have (basically just this) ??? showstopping.#thinks about Tuvok alone on Voyager thinks about the unique and alien suffering#[shuddering breath...]ahgh...[cough]....h ey Tuvok!!! What're your PRONOUNS-#Guy who misses his wife who is also him#gu ys....[sobbing openly] g uys...he's INCOMPLETE without them.....#are you picking up what I'm putting down???#-chokes star trek writers- stop having straight people write alien romance. let insane gay people like me have a turn pleasepleaseplease#bea art tag#[switches out of angst mode for a second] also its SO fucking funny that in this novel's canon Tuvok didn't know about the pon farr until#it happened to him. he literally had NO idea what was going on. His parents didn't tell him. Why?? Don't believe in sexEd???#it really made me laugh. conservative coded...#drawing elaborate Vulcan head....things? headresses? is fun <3#suggestive cw
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Is it odd that I even found meaning in Arajin serving the patrons the wrong dish at the restaurant but the patrons love it anyways? Perhaps he and Matakara are flawed sure, but they can still accept each other for who they are, which is what counts as being "pure" in being a genie.
when you're not quite what they wanted you to be but they love you anyway.....
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i just want to know what the Evilive production team was smoking when they decided that "Prayer" was the song they'll play during the rain scene
#evilive#like. a choice was made for sure#when doyoung walks up to dongsoo and the lyrics go like 'don't leave me here alone on this lonely road'#and then when dongsoo turns to hold doyoung's hand it's 'say a prayer don't go far i need you right by my side'#actually insane decision to choose this song!#I'm chewing drywall here it's fine this is fine actually!! i am not going insane currently
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BRO I JUST SAW JEREMY JORDAN SAY SOMETHING ON TWITTER??? WILL WE GET A LUCIFER CAMEO IN HB??? I'M LOSING IT. BECAUSE LOOKING CLOSELY AT THE HELLUVA BOSS TRAILER, THAT DO BE LOOKING LIKE IT COULD BE LUCIFER'S PALACE.
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bonus Solo giving Jey the "I know what you are" look:
#jey uso#sami zayn#sami x jey#samijey#jeysami#stuff i made#at multiple points in this conversation jey looked like he was considering risking it all lmfao#i'm mad that i didn't get to enjoy this when it first aired#bc at the time we all thought jey was setting sami up#but then turns out nah he really was excited for him to be acknowledged by roman 😭😭#and told him to get dolled up??? for reasons??? bc that's what bros do I guess???#anyways i'm chewing on drywall rn
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