#I’ve been puking like crazy all night
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a/n: hiiii miss me? sorry about the lack of posting but june was a batshit crazy month for me and i’ve been dealing with a bit of writer’s block. i hate this title but 🤷🏼♀️ @making-it-big had prompted a fic where andrei was facetiming the kids while he’s away and this is what came of that idea! hope you guys enjoy 🥰
word count: 3k
tw: none! this is just some soft family cuteness
summary: while he’s on the road, andrei never misses a facetime call with you and the kids
The one thing you never forget though, is the nightly FaceTime with Andrei when he’s on the road. Every single road game is different when it comes to the call - sometimes they’re late at night and shorter, other times he’ll have time to talk for a while before they leave for the airport. It doesn’t matter where Andrei is, he FaceTimes you and the kids every day.
Tonight, the team’s in Columbus, after flying in from Detroit earlier in the afternoon. They have the night off before their game tomorrow. You only know the schedule because you have it all written out meticulously on the giant calendar in the kitchen. You had made fun of the calendar when some of the other older and more experienced WAGs had told you about it, but now it’s your saving grace. Otherwise you’d have basically no idea where in North America your husband is unless he’s next to you.
The kids are buzzing, excited to talk to Andrei and update him on the past few days. Evie and Alina jostle for their favored positions on the couch, eventually deciding that Alina gets to be wedged against the arm and Evie gets the other 2/3 of the couch cushion. You’re not sure how that ended up being the deal, but you’re not about to get involved in the careful negotiations between sisters. Kira, the ever unbothered middle child, wanders in and out of the den, various toys and snacks coming and going with her. “Hey,” you call out to her, stopping the five-year-old in her tracks. She looks up at you with wide eyes. “That’s the last Oreo,” you point at her, raising an eyebrow and crossing your index finger over your heart, your code with the kids that you’re serious and that they better promise to listen.
Kira blinks innocently at you and chirps, “yes, mommy!” in a tone that has you getting up from your squatted position at the coffee table and moving into the kitchen to take the family-sized pack of Oreos from a lower cabinet and moving it to a cabinet above the fridge. Kira pouts at you, clutching her remaining snacks in her hands.
“Remember when your tummy hurt because you ate too much cake at D’s birthday party and you puked on Daddy’s lap?” You ask, adjusting Maks in the carrier attached to your chest. The three-month-old yawns and presses his cheek to your chest, little eyelids fluttering shut.
“Oh,” Kira pulls a face, looking just like Andrei, “I didn’t like that. Puking was gross.”
You point at her, grinning, “too many Oreos before bed will make your tummy hurt and you might puke again.”
She looks scared, her eyes opening wide, and you almost feel bad for her. But then she looks down at the two Oreos clutched in her hands and shoves them both in her mouth, spewing crumbs as she shouts, “I don’t wanna puke, Mommy!” while running back into the den and around the dining room table.
“Your sister is such a little weirdo,” you murmur affectionately to Maks. The baby burrows his face close to your chest and you check the time over the stove - 6:43 - which means he’ll be up for a feed soon enough. Hopefully he’ll be awake while Andrei’s still on the call. Turning back to the den, you start to say, “girls, let’s give Daddy —“ stopping short when none of your children are in sight. Evie and Alina are gone from the couch and Kira isn’t in the room, although you can hear her singing to herself from behind a few walls. If you had to guess, she’s doing princess twirls in front of the full length mirror in the foyer.
You shake your head and mutter, “where the hell did they all go?”
Dimitri toddles into the room, blocks clutched in his chubby little baby hands. “Mama!” He shouts, holding the blocks up. “Yook!” You grin at his little speech impediment - he can’t say his Ls yet and they all sound like Ys. “Bocks”
“That’s right, buddy, blocks! Were you building something?” You take the blocks he offers you, holding the pair of them in one hand and taking his hand in your free one, leading him over to the couch so you can hopefully get this FaceTime call started.
“Bi’ding for mama,” he says proudly and you press a kiss to the top of his head, inhaling the scent of baby shampoo.
“Mama loves your building, but how about we call Papa?” You pitch your voice higher, infusing excessive excitement into your tone. Dimitri giggles and claps his hands.
“Papa! Papa!” He chants and while he’s distracted you reach over and tap at the screen of the iPad, swiping Andrei’s contact information and bringing up the FaceTime screen. Dimitri fidgets on the couch for the entire thirty seconds it takes for Andrei to answer, but once he sees Andrei’s face fill the screen, Dimitri shouts, “Papa!” and his face splits into a huge grin.
Andrei’s face is wearing a matching grin and he shouts back, “Dimka! How’s Papa’s big boy?”
You lean against the back of the couch while Dimitri babbles to Andrei, watching as your husband’s entire face lights up while they chat. Dimitri is Andrei’s little clone, if the baby pictures Elena sends are any indication, and when their faces are side by side like this, you can totally see it. Every so often, Andrei’s gaze slips over to look at you and he smiles, winking. You return the expression, one hand resting over Maks’s back. Dimitri could chatter about anything and everything, using his limited toddler vocabulary, and you shout up the stairs for the girls, still wondering where the older two went. Maks continues to sleep soundly, even after you’ve shouted for them twice - the fifth kid really learns to sleep anywhere and under any conditions.
“Coming!” Evie shouts back and then there she and Alina are, traipsing down the stairs in too long sweaters that you recognize from Andrei’s closet. They’re holding the hems of the sweaters in their hands like they’re princesses wearing ball gowns and it’s adorable. Both girls are tall for their age - the Svechnikov genes at work - but even still the sweaters hang to their ankles when they release the knit.
“What are you two doing?” You ask, pulling Alina back by her shoulder so you can twist her long hair up into a bun on top of her head. The seven-year-old is always wandering around with her hair in her face and you hate it, always worried she’s going to fall down the stairs because she can’t see anything.
Alina struggles under your hands, trying to get away from the bun, but you’re faster than she is and tie it off quickly before she runs off to the den, throwing herself onto the couch and interrupting Dimitri so she can start telling Andrei all about her day.
You turn to Evie and she looks a little shifty, but also extremely pleased with herself while she twists her fingers in the sleeves of Andrei’s sweater. “We just wanted Dad to know, like, because he wears the bracelets me and Al and Kira made for him when he plays in other places so we know that he misses us. We wanted to wear his sweaters when he calls so he knows we miss him,” she explains in a rambling, breathless monologue that has your tearing up with the sweetness of her gesture.
“How did we get so lucky with you?” You murmur, cupping her chin and kissing the top of her head. “Sweet as iced tea.”
She beams, happy with your praise, and runs off to join her brother and sister. You can hear her interrupt Alina’s story, talking over her sister to tell Andrei that she picked the sweaters special because she’s the oldest. Kira appears from somewhere, a juice box in her hand, and you shake your head. The four kids are piled on the couch, all talking over each other and not letting Andrei get a word in edgewise. From your spot behind the couch, you have a full view of his face and the completely adoring expression on his face. He’s smiling and laughing, trying to pay attention to all four of them at once and making it look easy.
Maks fusses against your chest and you look at the time, nearly 7:30, so while the kids are distracted and with Maks still strapped to your chest, you adjust so your breast is out and Maks can eat, wincing a little when he struggles for a second before latching on. The general chaos coming from the couch starts to cool off and one by one, the kids run out of things to say, starting to peel away from the screen. Kira disappears, as is her M.O. as the middle child, and Alina wiggles to the floor to start doing somersaults.
Dimitri is flat on his back on the couch, kicking his feet in the air, dangerously close to Evie’s head while she recounts the play date she had the day before. “And Mom said we get to watch the game tomorrow at Auntie Nykki’s so we get to see Gigi and are you suuuuure we can’t get a dog?” she finishes, deploying giant puppy dog eyes.
“I’m sure,” Andrei laughs, shaking his head. “It’s not fair to Mama, to have to take care of a dog and you crazy little goblins.”
“Buuuut….” Evie winds up to start begging, but you cut in.
“Eve, we talked about this. No puppy until you’re older, now time to say goodnight to Dad and head off to bed,” you ruffle her hair a little, bracing your hand against the back of Maks’s head when you lean forward a bit.
Andrei jumps in before Evie can protest, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay zaychik? Spokoynoy nochi.”
“Spokoynoy nochi,” Evie replies, blowing kisses through the screen. Alina and Kira appear for virtual goodnight kisses too and you hoist Dimitri onto your hip and give Andrei the “one-minute” gesture while you usher the girls upstairs and get their teeth brushed and tucked into bed.
With Dimitri still clinging to you like a koala and Maks fast asleep in a milk coma, you finally return to the den and drop down onto the couch. “Hi,” you grin at Andrei. Dimitri rests his head on your thigh and runs a toy car over the cushion, clearly fading but reluctant to sleep. He’ll be out in a few minutes and you’ll transition him to his bed.
“Hi,” Andrei grins back. “Miss you.”
“Miss you too,” you card your fingers through Dimitri’s fine blond hair. “They were on something different tonight. And just so you know, both girls are sleeping in your sweaters.”
He shifts from sitting on the hotel bed to lying back against the pillows, tucking one hand behind his head and hiding the colourful braided and beaded bracelets that Evie, Alina, and Kira had made him. A soft smile makes his dimple pop. “We got lucky with them,” he says.
“We did,” you adjust Maks in the carrier, pulling aside the fabric covering the back of his head so Andrei can see him a little better. You’re getting warm having sixteen pounds of baby strapped so close to your chest. “How’s Columbus?”
“Boring,” he snorts a laugh. His smile turns a little sly. “What are you wearing?”
You laugh a little, until a new and familiar voice chimes in. “Oh fuck no,” Martin Necas yelps. “You’ve got five fucking kids, don’t tell me that you’re still chatting her up like a twenty-something idiot.”
Marty’s been your husband’s roommate on the road for years now, but you didn’t realize that he’d been around while the kids were talking to Andrei.
On-screen, Andrei smirks, a cocky expression taking over his face, “how do you think we got five kids? The stork?”
A towel flies into view from off-screen, whacking Andrei in the face while he laughs. You giggle at their antics and Neci comes into view, poking his head in front of Andrei’s phone. “Don’t let him talk to you like that, you’ve got all the power. He’s fucking whipped,” he teases, ruffling his hand through damp hair.
“Don’t worry,” you grin. “I’ve got babies attached to my hip and spit up all over my shirt. No chance he finds this attractive.”
Andrei’s expression turns hungry and he scrubs a hand over his bearded chin, the rasp of his fingers over the hair sending a shiver down your spine. “Neci, cover your ears, I want to say something adult to my wife,” Andrei teases. “It’s not for the ears of children.”
“Fuck you,” Marty whips a pillow from his bed at Andrei. It lands with a hollow noise on Andrei’s stomach and he exhales heavily. “One, I’m older than you and two, your literal children are right there. You’re gonna be disgusting in front of them?”
You smother a laugh with your hand. “Dimitri is passed out,” you say, angling the iPad down so they can see the conked out toddler spread out starfish style on the couch, toy car held loosely in one hand. “And Maks is definitely out.” You show them the infant, his little rosebud mouth gaping open and his eyelids twitching as he dreams. “So you’re good to say whatever you want.”
“No, do not encourage him,” Marty groans. “I have to share a room with him.”
Andrei tosses the pillow back, but Marty was expecting it and catches the pillow in mid-air. “You know, I’m the Captain. I don’t have to share a room,” Andrei says.
“You’d miss me too much,” Marty grins, waggling his eyebrows. “If you two are going to be disgusting, I’m leaving.”
“Good, leave,” Andrei deadpans.
You click your tongue, “be nice! What kind of leadership are you displaying?”
“Yeah, listen to your wife,” Marty teases, getting out of bed and shoving his feet into a pair of slides. “I’m telling Roddy that you’re a shitty Captain.”
He shoves at Andrei’s shoulder on his way out, waving to you. The door clicks shut behind him and you shake your head at Andrei, “you two are terrible.”
Andrei waves a hand in the air, grinning. “Neci’s dealt with worse from me on the road. I ever tell you about the food poisoning incident?”
“No,” you wince, “and I don’t want to know.” You yawn and apologize. “Sorry, baby. I’m exhausted.”
“I’m sorry I’m not there,” he replies, rubbing at his chin again. He pauses and you’re both quiet for a bit, just soaking up the other’s presence. Dimitri’s hand goes completely slack and he drops the toy car to the floor. You kick it slightly under the coffee table so you don’t step on it later. Andrei coughs a little, “it’s only been a couple days, but it feels like they’re different. Bigger.”
“The only one that really grew this week is this guy,” you pat Maks’s diapered bottom. “Gained another pound from his last checkup.”
Andrei grins. He sits up and pushes his hair off his forehead, leaning closer to the screen. “That’s my boy,” he chuckles. “How big is he now?”
“Sixteen pounds,” you laugh, shifting him against your chest. “He’s in the eightieth percentile for his age, Drei.”
“Big boy,” Andrei replies.
“Takes after his Daddy,” you blow him a kiss, yawning again. “I know it’s not even nine, but I really need to sleep for a bit before tiny Hulk wakes up for his next feeding.”
Andrei nods. “I know, I’m sorry I kept you up. I miss you.”
“I miss you too,” you tuck Maks back into the carrier so you can bring boy boys upstairs easier. “But you’ll be home in two days and then I’m happily passing off parenting duties to you.”
“I can’t wait, solnyshka,” Andrei says seriously, eyes twinkling at the prospect of being back home. “And once I handle parenting, I have a few things I’d like to do with you.”
You laugh, “those adult things that you kicked Marty out of the room to say?”
Andrei hums and affirmative. “I never even got to say them.” His lower lip pokes out in a pout, a childish expression in direct contrast with his beard and blown pupils.
“I’ll use my imagination,” you assure him. “I love you.”
“Love you,” he puckers his lips at you in a kiss and you tap the screen, ending the call. You skimp back against the couch for a minute, resting, before you get to your feet and lift Dimitri’s toddler dead weight into your arms to bring him up to bed. Once you’ve checked and reassured yourself that all five kids are asleep and tucked in bed, you finally crawl into your own bed and pass out for a bit before getting up to feed Maks. You’re so ready for Andrei to come home.
When he does come home, two days later, he bounds through the front door full of energy, swinging you into a kiss that makes you laugh and swooping the two closest children - Kira and Dimitri - up into his arms. They squeal with excitement that Daddy is home. The older two girls are at school and Andrei insists on being the one to pick them up, buckling Kira and Dimitri into their car seats and taking the fully loaded Navigator to the school.
He has the windows rolled down and the three of them wave at you while he backs down the driveway. Andrei at the wheel of the Navigator with all the children in tow is a much different picture than Andrei behind the wheel of his string of ugly coloured Lamborghinis.
His grin though, that full, missing-toothed, dimpled smile? That grin is the same on your thirty-six year old husband as it was on the twenty-one year old golden retriever of a boy you fell in love with.
#andrei svechnikov#andrei svechnikov x you#andrei svechnikov fic#andrei svechnikov x reader#andrei svechnikov imagine
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Awake My Soul • 8
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader
WC: 3.2k
Summary: It’s been 5 years since zombies first began their invasion, and despite everything you’ve been through, you’ve managed to survive up until this point. Now it’s time to face your most dangerous challenge yet….the grumpy, untrusting, fiercely protective Bucky Barnes.
Chapter Warnings: Angst, canon level violence, gruesome violence, we meet some familiar faces for a brief moment....oh and like a wicked bad fun cliffhanger :,)
Series Masterlist / Series Playlist
The pharmacy was a day’s walk east of camp.
You and Bucky would get as close as you could before finding a safe place to camp, then gather your supplies first thing in the morning before heading home.
Which meant you had two days to tell Bucky your secret.
It lingered on your tongue the entire journey, threatening to burst through as you walked silently through the woods, as he shared his favorite and least favorite moments from the books the two of you had read.
You almost blurted it out when he suggested maybe you could hit up the library in town before returning home, mentioning that there were a few books from his childhood he noticed were not at Brookfield.
Oh, you liked Lemony Snicket? I’ve actually been lying to you this whole time!
So many moments where you felt your resolve slipping, desperate to share this huge thing about yourself with him to get it over with, pleading with the universe for him to understand and to listen instead of shutting you out completely.
But then he would smile, or laugh, or roll his eyes in that way where you knew he was the total opposite of annoyed, or he’d fucking call you sweetheart and your chest would ache.
And the risk of losing that by opening up about this part of you would push that urge to the deepest, darkest corners of your being, telling yourself that you just needed one more smile, one more laugh.
Knowing that it would never be enough.
So you would wait, silently chastising yourself for being a coward.
Bucky finally spoke up about your obvious inner turmoil after you had set up camp.
“You okay? You’ve looked like you were going to puke your guts out all day.”
You glared at him. “You sure know how to flatter a lady, Beefcake.”
The corners of his lips twitched. “Just saying, Sweetheart.” His face went serious and he extended a hand to lightly shove your arm. “For real, though. You good?”
The sun had just barely set, and you could still make out the cerulean blue of his eyes as you stared into them.
Just one more night, you thought. Just let me have this moment. Then I’ll tell him.
You nodded. “I’m good. Just anxious about being out here I guess. Didn’t realize how much I had grown used to the safety provided within the walls of Shield.” At least this wasn’t totally a lie. You did find yourself missing dinnertime with Yelena and Kate, or playing hide and seek with the kids.
He pursed his lips. “I’m sorry. This might have been too soon for you to be out-”
You shook your head, resting a hand on his vibranium arm. “No, don’t be sorry. This is the least I can do after everything you’ve all done for me. It’s just an adjustment.”
Bucky’s eyes went down to your hand, and you pulled it away as if you were touching hot coals.
He cleared his throat. “This will be an easy mission. Just in and out. We’ve been in this area countless times and it’s almost totally abandoned. Only a handful of walkers here and there.”
You nodded, biting your bottom lip.
“Don’t worry, Y/n,” he said, voice tender. “I’ll keep you safe. I promise.”
It was almost unbearable, the sudden pain in your chest as your lips curved up into a smile at his words.
Bucky Barnes. Promising to keep you safe.
Such a crazy fucking concept.
Yet, with the sincerity in his tone, you couldn’t help but trust those words.
The two of you quietly walked down the abandoned town center, eyes scanning for any potential threats.
Bucky was right, this place was completely empty.
He led you past the abandoned cars, the moss-covered concrete, the shattered windows of buildings until you saw the familiar red logo of the CVS.
The sliding door was wide open, and Bucky peeked his head inside before signaling for you to come in.
It was one of those giant CVS buildings where - five years ago - it would have taken you 20 minutes to find something as simple as melatonin.
You could tell that others had been here and that this place had been well ransacked, but it was mostly the canned goods and other food supplies. Your camp was lucky enough to have a fully functioning garden, so all you really needed were basic medical needs like medicine and bandages and such.
And an extra diva cup for you….because the world was shitty enough for freaking menstrual cycles to still be an issue as well.
You followed behind as Bucky led you down the aisles, wordlessly showing you where everything was, grabbing various bottles and boxes of what you needed.
He grabbed a diva cup and handed it to you, giving you the tiniest grin as you beamed-
Footsteps echoed behind you and Bucky immediately grabbed your arm, pulling you closer to him and crouching down.
You crept down the aisle until you had a view of the entrance, but there was nothing there.
Turning toward Bucky, your brows began to move downward questioningly…
Before a hand covered your mouth, pulling you back into a large, firm figure.
Your scream was muffled by calloused skin, and Bucky unsheathed his machete, eyes filled with rage as he positioned himself to attack.
The figure holding you held up a large, muscular arm toward Bucky with a dagger in hand.
“Let her go,” Bucky breathed out, voice murderous.
“I mean you no harm,” the figure said in a deep, grizzly, English? voice. His hold on you relaxed, but not enough for you to pull away. “We’re just here for supplies. Nothing more.”
You noticed a flash of black behind Bucky, and suddenly there was a tall, lean figure, hands on either side of their waist wrapped around the hilts of their blades.
“Then let. Her go.” Bucky’s metal hand clenched.
The man behind let out a small huff. “Well that’s a cool piece of tech ya got there.” His tone was humorous, and you gave Bucky a confused look. “Listen,” he continued, “I’m going to let her go, and then we can go our own way, alright? We’ll be in and out quick. You have my word.”
Bucky’s eyes flashed to yours and you nodded. His body relaxed ever so slightly, and that was all the confirmation the man needed before letting you go.
You ran to Bucky’s side, keeping close to him as you took in your attacker.
He was huge. Larger than any man you had ever seen, with long, golden hair. You were pretty sure his bicep was as big as your head.
He stared at you a moment with a serious expression before breaking into a boyish grin.
“Sorry about that,” he said, lowering his blade. He nodded to the man behind him who released his hold on the weapons at his sides. “Never sure what kind of person you’re running into these days.”
Bucky was having none of it. “Who the hell are you?”
The man held out a hand. “I’m Thor. That’s my brother Loki.”
The two of you stared at his massive hand, unmoving.
He eventually took the hint and lowered it, smile still on his face.
“Like my brother said,” Loki murmured from behind, voice smooth and cunning, almost catlike, “we mean you no harm. We’re just here to get our things and go.”
“We have a small camp a few day’s journey away, with women and children,” Thor added, blue eyes softening. “We’re just here to provide for our family, just as I assume you are.”
“Then get a move on,” Bucky bit out, his hand swaying close enough to yours that you could feel the tips of his fingers.
With a single nod, the two groups parted ways, you and Bucky quickly gathering the rest of your things until your bags were filled.
“Are you okay?” Bucky whispered as he grabbed bottles of hydrogen peroxide.
You nodded. “Thanks.”
He shook his head, jaw clenching. “Don’t thank me. I should have seen them coming.”
“Bucky..” you started, heart breaking at the unnecessary guilt he felt.
A few minutes passed, and then the blonde was walking back over to you. You felt Bucky tense beside you.
“We’re done here,” Thor said, looking over at you two from the aisle next to yours. “Sorry for the trouble.”
You nodded. “Maybe next time you want to seem less threatening, don’t grab a stranger and incapacitate them?”
He chuckled. “Maybe I just wanted an excuse to be close to a beautiful woman.”
You breathed out a surprised laugh and Bucky scoffed, fist clenching once more.
Thor beamed. “Now that’s a lovely laugh.” He leaned an arm on the shelf separating the two of you. You turned to Bucky to find him silently seething for some reason. Why was he so mad about this guy being hilariously charming? “You know, you never told me your name-”
A shriek cut off the rest of his sentence and the three of you turned just as a runner tackled Loki to the ground, ripping out a chunk of his neck with its teeth and blood splattered in the air.
Thor let out a mighty roar, jumping toward the undead assailant and ripping its skull in two with his hands.
You tried to move - either toward Thor or away, you weren’t sure - but you were stuck, frozen in place from shock, even as Bucky pulled on your arm.
“We need to go. Y/n, come on.”
But you couldn’t move, feet practically glued to the ground as you watched Thor crouch down, cradling his brother in his arms as black veins spread from his neck and up his face, eyes wide as he clung to his brother gasping for air.
That’s when you saw the other runner on its way inside.
“Thor!” you cried. “Come on!”
He wasn’t listening, though. He was completely lost in grief.
And then the second runner was on him, biting into his back.
Thor roared again, turning around with a murderous look as he tried to take this runner down.
It was too late, though. His body was already growing weak from the bite. Runner venom spread so much more quickly than walkers. And he wasn’t able to pull back in time as it sank its teeth into his arm.
He let out another cry that suddenly gave you the strength to move and you tried to jump forward to help.
Bucky’s arms closed around you before you could even take a single step.
“No, Y/n. It’s too late!”
You knew he was right, already seeing the black veins spreading through Thor’s arms as he collapsed to his knees, not even fighting as the runner bit him again.
He was already gone.
Bucky pushed you along to the sliding window used for the drive-thru pharmacy, but just as you moved to pull it open, another runner charged into the glass, fists pounding on the surface.
You yelped, jumping back into Bucky’s secure arms. He clung to you as the two of you searched the space for a way out.
“There,” you panted, pointing up to the wall on the other side of the building. There was a small glass window above the shelves, just barely large enough for the two of you to squeeze through.
Wasting no time, you both ran on the pads of your feet, the only sounds in the space being the runner eating the flesh of either Thor or Loki.
When you finally got to the window, Bucky whipped around and grabbed you by the shoulders.
“I’m going to jump up and punch it with the vibranium arm,” he whispered. “Once the glass breaks, I’m coming down and you’re going through first. Got it?”
You shook your head. “You should go first, you’ll be up there anyway-”
“You. Go. First.” His fierce gaze terrified you for a myriad of reasons. The biggest one being the idea that you might never get to look into those stormy blue eyes again.
Your bottom lip trembled, and Bucky’s expression softened slightly. His hands crept up until they held your face with as much care and delicacy he could muster.
“Please,” he begged, composure breaking for a second before returning to his stern gaze.
The more time you wasted arguing, the less distracted the runner would be and the less time Bucky would have to escape.
So you nodded.
Your chin had barely even had the chance to lower before he jumped into action - literally - pulling back and climbing up the shelves, his right hand grasping the base of the window. With all of the strength he possessed, he swung his left fist directly into the glass.
It shattered as soon as the metal made contact, and he quickly scraped away the sharp edges until there was enough of an opening for you to get through.
And then he was on the ground by your side.
And there was shrieking echoing inside the pharmacy.
His wide eyes met yours and he leaned down, interlacing his fingers for you to use as leverage. Your hands went on his shoulders and your foot pushed off of his hands and you were flying in the air, grasping for the window as soon as you were high enough.
Something in your gut told you to turn around to check on the situation. The first thing you saw was Bucky’s terrified expression, silently begging you to keep going until you were safe. As if nothing else mattered aside from you being okay.
If only he realized that you felt the same way about him.
Which was why, when you shifted your focus to the runner that was barreling down the aisle towards him, you really only had one option to choose from.
Because there was no way in hell you were going to watch the man you love die without you doing everything you could do to stop it.
If we live through this, he’s going to be so fucking pissed.
He saw the decision on your face before you even moved, and his eyes widened in horror, a silent no on his lips.
You jumped.
Bucky actually felt his heart stop beating as you lept from the wall and onto the runner.
No, that wasn’t quite it. It was more like his heart traveled up his esophagus and was thrown up out of his mouth, falling to the ground in pieces as you somersaulted down the aisle with death.
He hated himself for allowing the all-consuming panic to keep him frozen in place for an entire millisecond before charging over to save you.
It didn’t matter how fast he ran, though. It didn’t matter that you were only 15 feet away.
It was still too late.
He watched you wrestle the zombie, pushing it back by the throat as you reached for the dagger on your side. But this runner was strong, and managed to use both hands to rip your hold off of it, its teeth lurching forward until they sank into your neck.
You cried out in pain, but it paled in comparison to the scream that was ripped out of Bucky’s throat.
He was nearly blinded with tears as he plunged his own dagger into the runner’s head, and its hold loosened as its body twitched violently before collapsing next to you.
Bucky didn’t think as he pulled you away, resting your back against the wall. His hands moved all over your body, his head was pounding, his lungs were constricting.
You were crying.
“It’s okay,” he pleaded, not sure if he was trying to convince you or him. “I’m here, Sweetheart.” He forced himself to look at the bite on your neck, at the black veins beginning to spread.
He breathed out a wet sob.
“Bucky,” you whimpered, shaking your head.
His large hands moved to either side of your cheek, “I’m sorry,” he choked, lips trembling, tears falling down his face. “I’m so sorry, Sweetheart.”
“No, Bucky,” you said, looking at him with so much fear and anguish it broke his heart. Your hand wrapped around his wrist. “You don’t understand.”
“We should have never come,” he continued, staring into your large, beautiful eyes. “I should have convinced Sam to let you stay. To keep you safe. I should have kept you safe. I promised I would, and I failed.”
He forced himself to keep his eyes locked on yours, not wanting to watch as the veins spread through your body, as the process of the transformation to undead took hold.
As you slowly faded away from him.
He had never hated himself more than in this moment. Even the night he lost his best friend, nothing compared to the complete and utter disgust he held for his entire existence.
For wasting so much time pretending to hate you. When he could have spent more of it trying to make you smile. Make you laugh.
For not mustering up the courage to stare into those stunning eyes instead of avoiding them like a coward.
Why did he always end up losing the ones he lov-
“Bucky,” you pleaded, pulling his hand back. “Look.” You forced his attention back to the bite mark.
For a moment, Bucky thought his eyes were deceiving him, that the tears were clouding his vision too much for him to see what was happening.
But then he blinked a few times, clearing away the salty film, and his eyes narrowed as he began to realize that his mind wasn’t creating some delusion.
The black veins that had begun to spread….were now retreating. Crawling underneath your skin until they only branched out ever so slightly around the bloody teeth indentations.
He looked back to your face, noticing that your expression was not one of fear of dying.
Yes, there was fear, but he also saw guilt.
He desperately searched for other signs of the change, searching your eyes for the cloudy film, resting his hand over your heart to feel it stop beating.
None of that was happening though. Minutes had passed, and you were still here.
You were still you.
His hands shook as he slowly pulled away, falling back to sit on the carpeted floor.
Just then, he heard two sets of groans behind him, but before he could turn - not that he could, he was still in shock - you were jumping forward.
When he did finally muster up the strength to turn, he saw Thor and Loki’s undead forms on the floor beside you.
Your chest was moving up and down as you panted, dagger in hand, turning around to look at him.
The rest of the world faded around him as his eyes widened.
Your throat bobbed as you swallowed, tears still falling down your face.
He looked back at the bite mark.
Then into your eyes.
You had been bitten.
Yet you were here.
You were okay.
And Bucky had no fucking idea what was happening.
“I can explain,” you said finally.
Chapter 9
Hope y'all don't hate me too much after the Asgardian bro situation :,)
#Bucky x reader#Bucky x you#Bucky x y/n#Bucky Barnes x reader#Bucky Barnes x you#Bucky Barnes x y/n#Bucky barnes#Bucky Barnes imagine#Bucky Barnes fanfic#zombie au#zombie apocalypse au#awake my soul#ams
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My Biggest Mistake
Jos Cleary-Lopez x fem! reader
Warnings: angst, drinking/alcohol, descriptions and mentions of kissing while tipsy, coarse language, self-harm descriptions, sickness
In which a heated make-out session was denied by Jos after the fact.
(Pictures used above are from Pinterest & Tumblr)
“You said you loved me last night.”
“Drunk words don’t mean shit.”
“Are you serious?” You scoffed.
“Do I look like I’m joking?”
“That’s not— fuck it, Jos. I’m so tired. Whatever. If you say it didn’t mean anything, then it didn’t. So did every other time you told me that, right?”
You ran away from her, without a destination in mind. You heard Jos call for you then it was just silence. The only sound keeping you company was your crying.
Eventually, you stopped before a diner. One you and Jos frequented, hesitating for a moment, you somehow stepped inside still teary eyed and found a seat at the bar. “Oh, honey…” A longtime staff member noticed you,“What’s the matter?”
“I don’t know. I fucked things up with Jos.” You revealed through sniffles.
“I’m sure—”
“Last night she got a little tipsy. And kissed me for the first time and said she loved me. To my face.” You continued, “I brought it up earlier, and she just said ‘drunk words don’t mean shit.’ She could’ve just told me she wasn’t ready to say it yet and I would’ve been okay with it— but that— shit hurt.”
“You two have been together for—”
“Yeah, I’m not so sure about that, Erin.” You sigh, accepting the cookies and cream milkshake. “Thanks.”
“No problem, honey.” She smiled.
As you sipped on the beverage, your mind drifts.
“The problem lies within the fact that I want more. That’s what scares me the most, because I don’t want to want more. But I can’t help it. I’m not supposed to want more. I’m not supposed to have anyone love me. That’s just crazy.”
“Crazy? What’s crazy is this, y/n. Some guy at school just called you a freak and punched your face for no reason and you just walk away? Why do you put up with this?”
“I don’t know, Jos. My brain is like— it’s broken, okay? After years and years of pushing aside my own feelings. I just don’t have them anymore. I don’t care anymore. They can just do whatever they want with me.”
“That doesn’t mean it’s okay for people to assault you. It’s a fucking crime, baby.”
~
“Hey, how you feelin’?”
“I’m okay. It’s just a cold.” Jos smiled sleepily, her eyes barely open as she turned to be on her side so she could look at you.
You pulled her desk chair up to the side of her bed and sat down. You brush the hair out of her eyes and stroked her cheek, “I’ve missed you.”
A smile tugs at her lips. Very tiny, but you could see it.
~
“Oh, my God. y/n, why didn’t you call me? Or text me?”
“For what? I’m just on my period.”
“So I can come over and take care of you?”
“Sorry. I’m just— not used to that.”
With a soft sigh, she presses a kiss to your lips, “Let me take care of you, okay? What do you want me to do? Craving anything?”
“Nope. I’m actually about to go and puke my guts out in a minute or so.”
“Okay, then I’ll hold your hair and rub your back.”
~
“Jos, please— stop.”
She scoffs, arm falling to her sides as she looked up you from the floor.
“You’re gonna kill yourself one day and I don’t want to be here to see that. I want you to get better, for yourself. Not for me.”
The burns and some blisters on her forearms started to form. You cringed internally.
“I’ve been trying.” She admitted. “I started seeing a therapist…but still…”
“Keep going. Be consistent. I’ll be right by your side.”
~
“y/n, please talk to me.”
“I don’t know how to say it. Any of it.” You avoided eye contact, “You hate me.”
“I do not. y/n, I don’t hate you. I could never hate you.”
————
“Jos.” Erin says.
Jos? Oh, hell.
“Talk it out.” Erin nudged. She was right behind you- you could feel her. There was no running away now. Absolutely no chance.
“I have to talk to you, y/n. I can’t just let all of that go. I can’t let you go.”
Tears pricked at your eyes again and the painful lump in your throat returns. You pushed the milkshake away from you, turning around in the stool to come face to face with her. With Jos, whose eyes were red and puffy. Dried tears stained her cheeks as her hair was disheveled, flyaways all over her face.
“I shouldn’t have said that to you. I shouldn’t have said that because I didn’t mean what I said. My brain tells me to push you away but I just can’t do it— it’s so wrong to do that to you because I know in my heart that I love you. No matter what my fucked up brain tells me to think at times. I love you. Please know that. Please know that I love you so much, y/n.” Jos takes a deep breath halfway through, shakily, “Sometimes I just…I don’t know why but I have a bad day and I start assuming people don’t really care about me so I go, ‘okay, then- you’re on your own, get through this shitty day on your own. No one else can help you.’ When I calm down, I know that’s not true because I have you. But I just need to keep working on that, y/n…getting my mind to unlearn that terrible habit, coping method. Ever since The Power came into play, I lost my friends…I even lost my own family even though we live under the same roof. No one gets what I’m dealing with like you do even though they see me everyday- day in, and day out. I didn’t want you to be the only one carrying the weight of my problems….I have to learn that in life, it’s okay to share. Especially with someone I call my partner. Because I know that I would not hesitate to hear you out, to be there and listen to what you have to say so you can get what you need to get, off your mind. I would never want you to go through your struggles alone.”
As she spoke to you, you took the time to take deep breaths and calm down, wiping your tears away as you prepared yourself to respond, “Jos, I feel the same way about you. I really care about you and love you. I don’t want you to be scared to share with me. You can always be honest with me and we will work through everything together. I have my own issues, and I’m also trying my best to get better. I need you to remember that no matter how bad a day seems. It was wrong for me to snap at you- that’s something I have to change about myself. But remember this conversation when times get tough…when we both can’t seem to get out of our own heads. Remember this.”
“My biggest mistake time and time again was that I hurt your feelings and I am so terribly sorry for that.” Jos cups your cheeks, wiping your tears away, “I’m sorry, do you forgive me?”
Swallowing harshly, you gave her a nod. She pulls you in for a kiss, you hopped off the stool to deepen the connection. Her hand finds its way around your waist and your back, yours does the same right before a mutual breakaway. Jos held you, looking right into your eyes before she uttered, “I love you. I mean it— every single time.”
You nodded, “I know. I love you, too, Jos.”
“Erin, can we get a waffle with a scoop of chocolate ice cream and some whipped cream, please?” Jos sniffed, sitting down in the stool beside yours.
“Certainly, dear. Coming right up.”
Jos dug through her pockets to locate her wallet and took out the amount of money needed for the bill while you continued to sip on your milkshake, trying not to cry again. Jos hands you a packet of tissues silently, knowing that you needed this peacefulness. She rubs your back intermittently while she waited on the waffle and kept an eye on you. Well, not exactly. She just liked looking at you while you did absolutely nothing sometimes. Next thing you knew, was that you felt her hand on the side of your head— her fingers combing through your slightly tangled hair and tucked some behind your ear.
————
The waffle was what you and Jos had on your first date right here in this very place. Eight months ago. Both of you have come a long way, and it definitely hasn’t been easy. It’s been tough as shit some days and made you feel like pulling teeth— yours and hers alike. Today was one of those days, but it ended up well.
The waffle was your go-to order every time you two stopped by this establishment. And Erin, she’s become a great friend over time.
“You girls want some tea or coffee?” Erin asks.
“I’ll have a coffee. She’ll have tea.” Jos answers with a swift nod of her head.
“Alrighty.”
A minute later, Erin returns with a cup of coffee and tea. “How much—”
“On the house.”
“No—”
“y/n, don’t fight me on this. You’re not gonna win, my dear.”
Jos cracked a smile, then chuckled. “Okay, Erin. Fine.” You giggled, “Thank you.”
When you and Jos left the diner, it was nightfall. The sun had almost completely set already, the gusts of chilly wind blew through your hair, which felt very nice. Jos leaned her head on your shoulder for a second to take in the moment before leading you to her car about a block away.
“My place or yours?”
“Yours, it’s closer from here than mine.”
“Okay.” With that, she started driving. Pop music on the radio played softly through the speakers meanwhile.
The two of you didn’t speak for the whole ride, but it was a comfortable silence. Once home, Jos leads you up to her room after greeting her family. You two got changed then joined her family for dinner— it was pleasant. They always loved having you around. Afterwards, you quietly retreated to Jos’ room because of the growing ache in your head. When you entered her room, she was already laying a stack of clothes each for you and herself. “Come on, let’s go take a nice shower. I know your head must be killing you right now. I know mine is.”
Stripping off your clothes, you tossed it in the hamper and Jos does the same then walked into the shower together with you.
“Is the water okay? Is it too warm for you?” She asks you softly.
“Yeah. It’s okay.” You said, tilting your head side to side in order to stretch out the muscles as the warm water hits your skin. Jos hums in response, shampooing your hair for you once it was wet enough and also helped you to wash your body.
“Thank you.”
“Don’t have to thank me, baby.” You could almost hear her smiling as she spoke to you. Her hand massages your scalp for a little bit longer as your head remained under the warm water. You felt a little bad you couldn’t exactly help her do the same, because she was quite a bit taller than you, but she says it was okay. “Just give me some cuddles and we’re even.” She laughs softly, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead.
After drying yourselves off, you two promptly got changed and climbed into bed to watch movies on Jos’ laptop. Jos laid her head in your lap, focusing on the movie but also feeding you a Swedish Fish every now and then.
“I do not feel like going to school tomorrow.” Jos revealed.
“It’s Friday, though.” You mentioned, eyes flicking down to look at her. Your fingers were still combed through her hair, massaging her head.
“Damn, right. Those dumplings are really good.” Jos grins, “Yeah, let’s just go.”
“Then maybe we can go to the park for a walk after school. Get something to eat after.” You suggested.
“Sounds good.” Jos agrees.
“You tired?”
“A little. But I think we can just finish this movie and go to sleep.” Jos bit back a yawn.
“Alright.” You bent down to kiss her on the side of her forehead, “Let’s do that.”
————
🏷️ Tag list:
@ludoesartnstuffs @reneeswif3 @auliisflower
(Please let me know if you want to be added or removed!)
#auli’i cravalho#jos cleary-lopez#the power(2023)#reader insert#x reader#gn reader#lgbtqia#queer#queer fic#sfw fic#romance#friends to lovers
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GITJ Post 331: A Saturday at Melissa's, p6 (4pm: Aubrey)
Okay, so this is really really embarrassing. But he asked me to show this to you, to help tell the story. This is, like, part of my journal entry for that night at Melissa’s mom’s place, where she was staying now. She’d invited us over to hang out. Some of the girls snapped some pictures, so I’m putting those in too.
I’ve been writing my journal, kinda making up stories about my life since I was I dunno eleven. My life’s pretty boring. Well, it was pretty boring until, y’know. Now it’s crazy.
Anyway, here it is. Sorry if it’s silly, but it’s mostly true.
++++++
She could feel your eyes, all over her, all over her breasts as you sat at the kitchen bar. He´s looking at me… again, she thought as she tried not to look back at you. Aubrey was used to having people turn at her, these days, stare at her. She couldn’t blame them. She was pretty, she realized, and caught everyone´s attention now that she was so tall. It was natural. However, she still secretly loved it when she turned back and made them feel embarrassed, ashamed at staring, even scared. That´s why she wanted to give it some time before she turned back at you.
+++++
Ugh I should probably tell you - when I write in my journal I kinda romanticize things a little and I know I sound stupid. But Melissa wasn’t there yet and I kinda had this fantasy that he was mine, just for a little while, even though there were so many other girls there and I was probably the last thing he noticed. So embarrassing!
+++++
“Omigod Aubrey you got really, really tall,” her friend Josie said to her, as she stretched to the upper shelves of the cabinets. They had instructions to make sure you ate, and were told that you liked soup. There was some leftover, from the night before, and she’d heated it up in the microwave.
Bowls bowls bowls, she thought to herself, where are the bowls?
Aubrey had gotten tall, really tall. She’d been just over five feet only a few months ago. She was always little, delicate. But now she was 5’10”, and still growing. Like a weed. Taller and taller every day, elegant, and she loved it. Long graceful arms, long graceful legs. There were friends of hers that were taller still, but in her brave, five inch stilettos tonight she was just as tall as Randi and Amelia. Soon she thought she might be taller than them. She was certainly growing faster.
You liked tall girls.
+++++++++++
Ahhhhhh I should tell you I’d, uh, had a crush on him for a long long time. Like, years. So embarrassing…
++++++++
“I heated up your soup,” she said to you, “let’s get some into that tummy. You need all your strength.” Aubrey couldn’t help it, acting like a mom to you ever since you’d woken up; it was like something new in the air, bringing on these haha maternal instincts. She’d taken it upon herself to stay with you on the couch, earlier. You’d made a mess under your towel, and she’d felt a little bad. As thrilling as it had been, watching you climax in your sleep just from having us all so close and letting out our perfumes, now you were basically naked and shivering. She’d put your head in her lap and let you hold her Office Manager’s big pink bra for comfort, like a toddler with his blankie. It was so freaking adorable she wanted to puke.
When you’d started to stir, waking, it was just the two of you. The rest of the girls were either outside, looking around the gardens or in the basement looting the wine cellar. You’d had the bra hugged to your face. Feel how your breath had warmed the fabric? You seemed surprised, shocked, ashamed and embarrassed when you realized where you were, what you were doing. Your little eyes were scared, and I did my her best to calm you down. I She hushed you, started explaining. You started to seem happy that she was there, that she was kind and understanding. She helped you gather the towel around yourself again, and she took you to the laundry room where your clothes were. There was a sink in there, so you could clean up and change. Underwear, shirt, khakis - they were all done, in the dryer. Don’t worry about that sticky towel, she told you, trying not to blush. She could take care of that. She did her best to give you some privacy, and you appreciated it.
When she walked you back to the living room, with its huge, soaring ceilings, the girls were all back inside. New ones had arrived, we they were all gathering to hang out for the night, waiting for Melissa to come back. They cooed and clucked like a gaggle of hens but it was meshe her(?) that felt so proud so tall standing behind you with her hands on your shoulders having gotten you dressed and cleaned. Aubrey wanted to pull you back into her big new tits and hug you but she didn’t. Instead, she let the other girls take your hands and drag you to the kitchen. You had to be hungry, they all decided. You hadn’t had anything to eat all day, and you were used to your bowl of that weird Scottish porridge in the morning.
You did your best, Aubrey could see, to appear relaxed and confident and strong. That’s one of the things she loved about you, your quiet dignity. Even though you’d gotten so small - the girls had insisted on measuring you before sitting you down - and had been found naked by them earlier, you somehow tried to hold onto your pride. It must have been hard, she knew, but you were doing a good job. She was proud of you. Among all the girls that wanted to treat you like a little boy you were still trying to be a man.
“Oooo Melissa will be so excited to hear you’re finally under five feet,” Josie had told you. It had been upsetting, Aubrey could see, but as they all talked at you they collected you and nestled you into their arms as you sat at the kitchen bar waiting for me her to make your soup. She could feel your eyes on her breasts as she stretched to the high cabinet shelves. Her breasts strained against her bra, ready to bursting.
Before you knew it, a large spoon with steaming hot soup appeared and you heard her stop you. “Not too fast, just take some sips,” Aubrey said, keeping the spoon away from your mouth. You and she, though surrounded by a houseful of girls, were alone in the space of that moment. You both felt it, didn’t you? There was a quiet around you and her heart beat fast.
As you were preparing to take your first taste, a very gentle gust of air blew over the spoon and yourself. She was cooling the nourishing broth in front of you. This thoughtful giant was trying to do everything imaginable to comfort you, make things better. “There we go,” she heard herself saying, slipping the spoonful of soup finally between your lips, “that’s yummy.” She’d fed you before, at the restaurant party weeks ago, and thought back on that time frequently, to make herself wet and warm between her thighs. But this moment was even more intimate. Aubrey loved feeding you. It made her feel big, and big was good. It made her feel like a tall pretty young mommy and though that was new it felt good too.
The look in your eyes, when your gazes met, made her heart flutter. You saw it, didn’t you? The love I have affection she had for you? She drew a deep breath, showed you how big her breasts had become, how she was there for you and what you required. She needed you to see it, to know she was special. She adored you, she always had.
==========================================
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Hi! I hope you enjoyed your 2nd night of debauchery I mean Joker Out concert! How did you like the new song (I hear it's in english)? Did everyone lose their shit again at Šta bih ja? Any exciting and unexpected moments? Is your sister a baby boo now? :D
Oh, and forgot to ask yesterday, what do you think about new JO outfits? much love 💜
Hiii! And thank you, I sure did! 💛
When I saw the spoilers for the setlist, my first thought was like ”Schlager?? Oh hell yeaaah, give me some schlager!! 👵🏻👵🏻👵🏻” And I mean the song is like extra cheesy 🧀 and I like the vibe because it reminds me of something, but I can’t quite put my finger on what exactly? And Šta bih ja my beloveeed 💛💛 I can’t remember if people were as crazy as on the first night, but at least I was!
Unexpect moments.. when some drunk asshole started puking in the pit and got thrown out but apparently was let back in?? OH and I was expecting to hear SSOL at least once but nope lol. But piano version of Metulji and Padam??? My soul left my body. And my sister has been a light baby boo (and a sad bojere bitch) since last year but she’s not in the fandom 😁
And finally I think their stage outfits were nice and I don’t think those are the final final outfits tho? They wanted something casual and comfortable and that’s how they looked like (that’s all I care about!) 💛
Thanks for the ask nonny!! 💛💛 I’m so tired from the weekend but I had so much fun being a JObnb host for @btw-it-also-travels-in-time @saallotar and @sir-bloober-von-fuckstain 🥰 Or well it started as East Helsinki KÄbnb experience but we eneded up working on JOS related things and I’m still not over the fact that Nace shared our video and he has now seen my home??? Hello??? (Ok well more like my table cloth and a corner of my couch but still, it counts lmao!!)
Also me going ”Räääöäääh 🤡👹🫵🫵” when seeing @frikatilhi still makes me laugh (once again I’m sorry about that 😂😂) I wish I could’ve talked more with people but I’m a nervous wreck and will never know how to be a normal human.
I will probably go through my photos and videos today when I finally have time to sit down. I’ve missed a shit ton of posts and there’s no way I’m going to backlog 2 days worth of stuff. But I’ve been here in spirit! I missed screaming in the tags with everyone tho!! 🥹💛
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i want more fics where hunter is fucking insane !!!! self destructive and all girl anachronism by the dresden dolls because he is literally CRAZYYY !!!! like he needs to be aggressive and bite again to cope . so many i’ve seen go straight from the golden guard ! to the sad little white boy. he needs to be a crazy girl !!!!! start fights !!! punch walls !!! call ppl mean things !!!! literallt be physically rotting. everyone needs to look at him like “girl u need to be admitted” and he needs to be like “ i am LITERALLY FINE NO ONE LOOK AT ME EVERY AGAIN” meanwhile he is shaking violently his eyebags are darker than they’ve ever been he is on the brink of puking his guts out he jumps at every slight movement and he gets violent nightmares every single night. and it’s sad and depressing but he needs to have that moment i think
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You guys, my Saturday was a roller coaster 🤣
I had what I’m pretty sure is an intestinal blockage late Friday night. I was home alone with Ender when it happened and knew I probably needed to go to the hospital but I wasn’t sure how to make that happen, so I passed it at home. Definitely one of the scarier experiences I’ve ever had. I have never been so relieved to vomit and puke. Never been so relieved to see blood in my toilet. It’s wild how much better I felt as soon as it opened up, but I still feel Not Good and am still in pain so I am worried it hasn’t fully cleared. So I need to call the doctor today to see about getting some kind of scan or scope or cam to check on that.
Tried to go to the gym Saturday morning; that was dumb. Rowed for about 20:00 before I realized I was only making things worse for myself, so I went home.
I had great news waiting for me when I got home - my Stelara had arrived, with instructions to inject every SIX weeks. My GI came through; my appeal was approved! It still crazy to me that it took 1.5 months, and no one involved int the process could update me on anything. Like the only way I had any clue what was happening is bc one of my best friends is a psych doc and has to go through that a lot with her patients who are on injections and was able to kind of walk me through the process of how she deals with stuff on her end. So that’s a relief, I hope it makes a difference.
But did I stay home? No. I should have, there were so many reasons pointing to stay the fuck home. But no, I left my house to go to lunch and do some shopping with Robbie and Ender, and we were in line to order our food at Portillo’s when a man came and tapped my husband on the shoulder to ask if we owned the restaurant SUV because he hit our car trying to pull out of his parking space. I assumed that meant he like… scratched it? No, he ripped part of the bumper off 🫠 We had to have it towed. His truck was so high up that I couldn’t even see up into the windows when I was sitting inside of my SUV. He legit didn’t see us at all. I’m sorry, but you should only be allowed to drive big truck if you know how to safely operate it. So now my car is out of commission, and our other car isn’t starting, so I had to borrow a car from my parents. So not the worst, but definitely an inconvenience I do not want to deal with when I feel like ass!
Anyway, after that I was like yeah we’re done, no shopping, only rage, time to go home, and I spent 6 glorious hours on the couch reading and then we ordered pizza for dinner. So it didn’t end all bad, but man!
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spent all of yesterday puking & hungover in bed from a crazy night out on saturday. i popped some blood vessels around my eyes & it really took me back to my mia era in college (not a good time at all & so not worth it) i just took a long shower & did all my skin care and everything & i feel like ive come back to life! & i hit a new LW! only by a few ounces but it was definitely a shock as my workouts had been sporadic & i’ve been horrible abt tracking my cals. so it was a nice surprise!
#⭐️rve#⭐️ving#@n0r3xia#🕯️as a 🪶#lose weight#ana trigger#disordered eating thoughts#tw ed diet#ed vent
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🪡 The scene you worked the hardest on in any fic?
👀 What’s an idea you had for a fic that you never did anything with?
🪡 The first one is so hard to think of. All scenes are hard af for me because I’m so new to writing and so afraid of the crazy ideas my brain churns out.
I think “The Wedding” tbh because I so badly wanted to put the audience in Lin’s head space and show the brutality of her disorder. But I was also afraid that the scene would come out poorly and not be well received.
I didn’t want to cross some sort of invisible line, you know ? I also was afraid that it would come off as glamorizing eating disorders or that it would trigger someone. But then I thought about it and decided that tags and trigger warnings were sufficient and I realized that there was nothing glamorous about what I was writing. She’s at a party and she should be having a great time and instead she’s nearly dying in a bathroom all alone.
I got over my fear and just wrote it (actually wrote it mid concert because the anxiety of the night inspired anx!ous Lin) .
I wanted it to be beautiful in a way. It sounds weird but its because I find Lin as a character to be not only physically beautiful but spiritually too. She’s hauntingly beautiful. She pretty the way gray rainy days and cemeteries are. A kind of beauty you’re afraid to touch. Yet her suffering is so thorough that it’s shocking and the graphic nature of it is well… beyond gross.
so here is the scene, you have been forewarned the last person who read it messaged me and said "made me want to vomit"
major TW for blood, vomiting and eating disorders
"She can’t stop. Even though she wants to. Even though she is fighting against the urge desperately. Even though there is no food left to bring up. A metallic taste fills her mouth. Blood, Warm, red. Gushing, grunting, gripping the porcelain.
Choking. There is no air left in her lungs. She can’t breathe. She sits on the tile of Pema’s bathroom. She notices the blood dripping all over the ground. She would have to clean it, or else be given away by stained tile.
Blood. Dripping all over her clothes.
Blood. Red against her white face .
She feels warm and cold at the same time. She curls up into a ball. Her throat stings, her head is spinning. She closes her eyes.
Relief. After a few moments of desperate struggling she could breathe again. She pulls herself up off of the floor. Turns on the sink, cleans her hands, rinses out her mouth. Splashes her face. She glances in the mirror noting her messy hair and the blood and puke soaking her clothes. She fixes her hair and cleans her clothes off to the best of her abilities.
Her face is puffy.
Her eyes are watery and red.
She looks like shit.
Thump thump thump
Her thoughts are interrupted by loud knocking.
She freezes.
“Aunt Lin, are you in there ?”
She pauses for a moment.
“Yeah”
“I’ve been looking for you”
“You have ?”
“Yeah you disappeared two hours ago”
Shit.
“Are you ok ?”
“I’m fine” she said very unconvincingly, cringing internally at the hoarseness of her own voice.
Opal makes a sound of disagreement .
She has to get Opal to leave. She has to clean up the blood before anyone comes in here. The room smells of blood, and her clothes. Her clothes smell horrible, the metallic scent of blood mingled with the pungency of sick. She smells like death.
She doesn’t have any time. She quickly grabs the hand towels hanging up next to the sink and sopps up the blood off the floor. She throws the dirty towels in the hamper in the corner. She throws open the cabinet under the sink.
Tampons, nail polish remover, toothpaste.
Then she finally finds the cleaning supplies, sponges, bleach, peroxide, soap. She thanks the spirits.
“Are you sure you’re okay ?”
It was sweet that she cared.
“I’m fine, sweet heart just had too much to drink”
“Do you need me to get Kya ?”
“No,” Lin says immediately, too insistently .
The last person she wants to see her like this is Kya.
She sets to work scrubbing up the stain and then throws the sponge she used in the bin.
The room was clean. It was like it never happened."
Here is the whole chapter
👀 I have a thousand unwritten ideas.
A) College AU where Lin and Zolt are both professors and hate each others guts. Enemies to lovers. Could be cute but I don’t know if it’s a bit… done ?
B) Lin getting murdered by Tarrlok? It happens in city hall and there’s an irony in it because help is right there. Tenzin is right there. Kind of weird but the thought was like a poem. Like the heart beat Edgar Allen Poe poem. Except for it’s her blood dripping… and other sounds. It was a halloween idea but I decided it was too gruesome and never actually wrote it.
C) Another idea I had was what if some how Lin was Mako’s mother ? Like actually biologically his mom and it’s a huge secret. Too messy timeline wise for me to figure it out. If I figured that out who would his father be ? Why did she choose to not raise him ? Why didn't she find him after his parents died ? Too many plot holes for me. Maybe I'll try one day.
I have so many more but this is already a novel. Thank you so much for the ask <3 . I'm glad to answer more.
#legend of korra#lin beifong#fanfiction#archive of our own#linzolt#kyalin#the legend of korra#tw ed implied#tw disordered eating#tw vomit
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Big Sir and Allen Gainsburg
I saw the best bellies of my generation destroyed by fatness, bulging hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the fast food streets at dawn looking for a hungry fix,
Jack felt like the gutter that he was dragging his fat ass through. He’d been wandering through the streets for six hours wondering when he’d find an open cafe. Wild with hunger and passionately hungover he thirsted for cake like a cock for ass. His bloated belly hung out from between his open plaid shirt, tightly constrained by his plain white tee, it was big, round and ballooned shaped. It bounced with every heavy step. He lit the last smoke of the pack as he plodded onto the Haight.
He’d already traipsed through the Mission, searched Union Square and the Wharf. Nowhere was fucking open. This city was a fucking killer to walk around. He preferred to travel the road by car. He dreamed of a day, far from 1955, when the city would be full of twenty four hour dinners and electrically powered personal mobility devices that would save a man from having to walk a single block up these hills. Maybe one day they would even deliver food to your door on such devices. His belly howled with hunger. Until he heard the jazz.
The sweet music of man trumpets was coming from a third floor window, “Bbrrraaaarrrpppp!” He looked up to the apartment window and heard a familiar voice.
“That was the sweetest one yet, man! Fruitier than a tangerine dream!”
It was Lawrence Spaghetti.
“Hey Lawrence! Let me in, man! I’m dying out here!”
“Is that Flapajack I hear?”
“Yeah man, It’s me! I’m starving! I’ve been out here all night!”
“”Ok man, we’ll let you in.”
The apartment was littered with food wrappers, beer cans, and cigarette butts that had been discarded on the carpet. Two heavily obese young men and one older one were splayed out half-comatose across two filthy sofas. Lawrence had laid himself down, legs akimbo, on one sofa. The other sofa was full of Will and Allen. The former was dressed smart in an ill-fitting suit that busted at the seams. The latter was humongous, a real beached whale, with long greasy black hair, geeky glasses, an unkempt beard, and manner.
Jack spoke to Will.
“I’m so fucking hungry, man. Please tell me you guys have the good stuff?”
“Giant cocks spunking puke jizz over the poor naked wild boys I didn’t alien rape in Tangiers kill my wife”
“You can’t talk to him, man. Too much cake, too far gone, tooo much cake.” It was Lawrence who spoke. “You wanna hit, man?”
“Naked twitching anuses flabby mexican boys”
“Ya see? Lost in cake.”
“I’ll take a hit, thanks man.”
Lawrence poured two pounds of cake mix into the bong Jack inhaled it in one go.
“Woo, I needed that!”
Lawrence reloaded Jack sucked down crazy clown circus entangled in intestines. Belly belonging bloat balloon
Queesy queers quack as they quaff quazy amounts of quirkus animals shut up will. Will’s buttons pop like whizzing bullet towards wife head belly burst open all to see cake will too much
“America make better us liberal food portions us” said Lawrence.
“You guys are way ahead of me,” said Jack as his stomach rumbled.
He went to the kitchen and found quazy amounts of cookies, chips and cake. He snorted a line of chip dust dick twitch and donut dope
nose hair wibble wobble ass fat jiggle joggle
Will Lawrence comfy sleep anus mouth jizz tasty fat fat fat leaky ass fat millions of american youth love cock pound hard shirt lift torn belly Norman Rockwell bloat ass strain wide gap thunder fart face breath cum taste wild boy inflate guts rectal explosion yes
Jack was now satisfied, horny and full, He sunk into the sofa next to Allen
“It always makes me hungry to love the bloat somehow- hate's so easy compared.”
“Big Sir,” said Allen, “I’m with you in Fatland where you’re fatter than I am”
Allen had eaten enough to transfer to another gastral plain. He was only aware of Jack due to the closeness of his circumference to his circumcision. Moluch! He shouted. No, they're all gone. I ate the last of them said Jack stomach pounding bursting full.
Bear beard bloated madness. Wild boys no Will asleep.
Moloch! Moloch! Fat party apartments! invisible sloburbs! swollen treasuries! blind capital gains! Demonic fast food industries! anal nations! Intestine gaseous madhouses! granite cocks! monstrous ass bombs!
Sshhh! Jack, calm Allen, mouth cock belly face. Fatter tomorrow cake mix hit more consume inhale groan stretch belch cake mix hit girth wound hard soft flab cake mix hit inhale digest pain cake mix hit inhale growth bloat boat belly sail wind champagne cake hit mix inhale large tank fire power face hit take inhale drown stream burst banks cake mix hit inhale monstrous digest intestines full cake mix hit inhale scream breath bong swell burst balls take hit inhale
Jack sleep Allen ass fat face Allen: who balled after breakfast in the dinner times in restaurants and the grass of public parks and bakeries scattering their semen freely to whomever come who may,
Sleep wild boys feast all night America boys fat future lazy safe scattering their semen freely to whomever come who may.
home is where your ass is
#feederism kink#gainer stories#fat belly#fat boy#gay gainer#gaining fat#weight gain stories#gay gainer stories#male wg#beat literature
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villain by the devil's law
[01 - you're no stranger]
[A/N: its in first pov, a little bit of spooky hanky panky going around and you stumble into an old friend <3 also let me know if you want to be tagged!]
~3.2k. ao3 link. masterlist
Summary: Taking your grandfather's spot as owner of that old cabin has consequences apparently! Spooky bumps and creaks, nothing past creepy- until it does. Just a little bit.
*
“Gramps, listen, I’m grown, I’ve got the mechanic and the neighbor’s number memorized, and should anything go wrong, I’ll give you a shout, okay? Okay, love you, bye-eeeeee!” It’s one thing, I roll my neck, wincing at the couple of cracks and pops it gives as I place my now silent phone on the old table. A table that is now mine, technically.
Legally.
I could do whatever I wanted with this table.
With this house.
It’s suddenly a much bigger house than it actually is.
But, shivering the nerves away, flicking my fingertips as I give a spin in the cluttered home, humming to myself as I try to find any other boxes I need to unpack. Gramps left more than half of his furniture, said something about meaning a lot to be able to come home when he was tired. Whenever that would be, he added with a shy smile. A shy smile and the warmest hug he’d ever give. Waving him bye at the airport more than a few hours away from his- I mean, my home meant I’d get to sleep in the early hours in the morning after shoving the last of my things in the back of my dull Sedan.
The shine on her had waived away over the years but it’s fine. She handles the extra weight fine, and she gets me home in one piece. That’s all I ask of her.
But getting home had led to unpacking till midnight, and perhaps the early hours for Gramps in one of the many cities he’d talked about, and getting a call from said Gramps. Wondering how I’m doing in this lonesome cabin all by myself. It took five minutes of sweet words and rock-solid logic to get him off the phone and head to bed— or maybe, talk to that nice man that he’d met on the plane.
So that’s where we’re at right now.
Late hours in the night, spinning in a cabin I never thought I’d own, all by myself. Set to live however I want. It’s a lot to happen in the span of a month but a new change in pace is actually what I needed at the moment. And though I feel if I spin once more, dwell on the fact that my closest neighbor is literally miles away, I might puke, I’m not sure I can pull myself to be anything less than happy. For me and Gramps.
All he ever wanted was to see the world, and with the house paid for, and actually being looked after, given away to someone who would love it as much as he did, and the money he’d saved all these years… What was to stop him but actually leave?
Course I cried, I’d miss him like crazy but more than anything I’m happy for him. It’s a literal dream come true for him. The smile and the joy on his face- it’d been worth the hectic, crazy month. It was worth it all. He deserved it all.
And now that I��ve stopped spinning, holding onto the counter as I pressed a hand into my chest, I can find some peace for myself. Looking up, my eyes trail over dizzy visions of the kitchen counters, over the fridge and stove, and over the glass door leading to the backyard.
Oh, the backyard.
Growing up here, visiting during all of the holidays I could, the backyard had always been my favorite. A hammock hanging between two large trees in the middle of a beautiful garden, daffodils and azaleas and daylilies, and then the picnic table he built himself. The various statues littering the backyard. And of course, when it's night time, I can see the little lanterns strung across the fences, the ones hanging high above my head. And then, at the edge of the yard, I can make out the beginning of the forest, an old, creaky gate separating the two of us.
Sometimes I’m grateful, other times I’m not. Sometimes I’m curious to see what would leak through and spill into my world. What creatures would drape itself in the garden, what force would be so bright, that I’d shield my eyes, leave them be to enjoy the hard labors of my grandfather.
Other times I listen at night and I’m more than grateful for the rickety gate shielding me and the cabin. I don’t like the silence at night.
Because when I was younger I could never get the noise to quiet, no fan, no song could cover the sound of life just outside of my window.
Now, I realize with a chill in my spine, smoothing out the duvet on my mattress, it’s quiet. Actually quiet.
I’d peek out of the window to see what’s going on but the thought of someone watching me made me turn around, trip over a variety of clutter on the floor, and draw the curtains blind.
Crawling into my bed, now assured that should anything peek into my window, they’d find nothing but navy fabric blocking their vision, I settle into the sheets with a soft sigh. My eyes close as I reach for the remote I left on the bed, pressing the top, embedded button that turns the lights off, leaving me in the darkness.
Shifting in the sheets, I lay on my side, curling up and pressing my face into the pillow, slipping into unconsciousness. Though, if I had fallen asleep a little later, I would’ve heard the sound of a gate opening.
*
The next morning is filled with exciting activities, such as breakfast of two eggs that makes me rush to the bathroom barely an hour later, tending to the online college class I was almost finished with, and sitting in the backyard, brushing my bare foot against the soft grass while I read in the hammock.
Just as it was before, nothing has changed much. Except Gramps wasn’t home because he had to run to the store really quick, nor was he bringing over my younger cousins who resolutely had nothing to do with me. He was in a different country, living life to the fullest, and I’m here.
The reality doesn’t sit in until dinner comes around, where I make a sad little sandwich, too much peanut butter and not nearly enough strawberry jam. Juice does little for me, the pulp too much for me to enjoy the beverage.
Yet, sitting outside while the sun had lazily kissed me goodnight and waved the trees bye, disappearing over the horizon and the cool breeze of the night settling in… it was a sight to see.
I’m looking around as I clear my mess on the picnic table, shooing away the ants there, catching the sight of an open gate. It swings in the sway of the wind, sometimes catching on the grass but it’s- it’s open. Unlocked. My face scrunches up in thought, setting the platter and cup on the table before heading over to the gate. The wood doesn’t feel any different, the lock clicks shut, but I haven’t even touched the fence, much less open the gate. And you’d need the key that sits in the prettiest bowl by the front door. Walking back to the picnic table, I listen to the chitter of the trees, no doubt talking about how dumb I must look.
Maybe I did unlock it and forgot to close it, I think more to myself as I take the dishes inside, double checking the door is locked behind me. Because what are the other options? A racoon sneaking inside of the house, taking that specific key, unlocking the gate and exiting through there, because if I am correct… I check the bowl by the door and yeah, the key is still there. It’s still there and the racoon put it back the way it was before leaving.
But forgot to close it… right.
I sigh to myself, dragging a hand down my face as I look around the place. I’d worry more about it but it’d always been like this at Gramps’ place. Strange things happening with no reason as to why. Things you couldn’t just explain away.
And when my mom had asked why he didn’t just move if he didn’t like it, once when we were visiting and I was eavesdropping, he didn’t really give an answer. Had its charm, he said. Liked the weird, strange happenings.
I liked it too, and liked to pretend I could cause some of it. He always humored me, which is something I always appreciated.
Mom hadn’t.
It’s whatever, I wave the thoughts away, tucking a towel into my arm with a change of clothes, looking around for last minute items before heading into the bathroom.
One of the best things, I found out growing up here, that the movies had reason to place the reading in the tub. Best things I could do right now, losing myself in the floating feeling of the water and in a story somebody had so kindly woven together for me to enjoy.
Ten minutes pass by and there’s a knock at the back door. The book comes away from my face, as I listen again. Could be my overactive imagination, couldn’t it? Couldn’t be anything else. Maybe it’s the racoon?
Several knocks sound out and I force myself to get out, wrapping the towel around me. The book tossed aside as I exit the room, little steam billows out above me as I walk down the hallway. There’s nobody in their right mind who would knock at this time of night, at the back door, much less the only way you could get in is if you were nine feet tall to climb the fence or if you were a particularly handy racoon who could fiddle with my locks.
Rounding the corner, peeking just barely over the wall, I could see the door aaaaaaand… nothing. Though I wasn’t aware that my shoulders had scrunched up, they relaxed from the tension as I walked to the door. I could see my reflection, hair slightly damp and body absolutely dripping. I couldn’t see anybody else. The lanterns were on again, and the backyard, though notably dim in lighting, I’d still be able to see the perpetrator knocking on my door.
I stretch my neck to look around the hammock trees to see if-
Yeah.
Fuck.
I exhale, breath coming out shakier than a few minutes before. I turn around, throwing looks over my shoulders as I head to my room, bathroom be damned.
Shutting the door closed and locking it, I look around and immediately my sights are locked on the dresser. And yes, while I’m still naked, wrapped in nothing except a pathetic excuse of a towel, I shove the dresser to sit in front of my door. Turning to the window, I know there’s not much I can do there. It doesn’t open and the only way somebody is getting in is if they’re breaking the glass. The thought doesn’t leave much comfort, drawing the curtains to see if it does anything. It brings, again, little comfort.
I’m thoroughly shaking as I pull an old tee over my torso, slipping somebody else’s boxers over my ass. Tucking myself into the bed, I leave the light on.
It doesn’t help.
*
Fourteen hours later and I’m standing in the middle of the cereal aisle, staring down a box of sugary circles, daring me to get anything else, when somebody prods my shoulder with little kindness. I flinch, rubbing my shoulder as I turn to give this prick a piece of my mind when I realize who it is.
A kid I used to babysit while growing up here. She says my name with a wide smile, as if she couldn’t believe her eyes. Though it’s been ten years since I’d seen her, I couldn’t forget the adventures she and I went on, and I’m…
Yes, I’m shocked. I have the right to be. I’m just getting groceries!
“It’s- wow, you’ve grown up so much Eileen,” I say, with a dropped jaw, bringing her in for a hug, never mind the box of Apple Jacks in my hand.
“More than you know,” she muses, the grin on her face tells more than her words. And a call of her name from a different aisle tugs at both of our attention, and she’s throwing a call of her own back. “What are you doing back, though, I thought your old man left town, said something about joining the circus?” I smile through a laugh.
“Wouldn’t be surprised if he did, but uh, no, last I checked, he wasn’t in one, just- following the wind wherever it takes him, you know?” And then as she’s about to ask another question, somebody tall with a squealing toddler in their arms turns around the corner of the aisle and Eileen’s attention turns away from me completely.
Speaking with honey lacing her voice, it was clear the squealing baby had found who she was looking for. “ Hi baby girl, there you are, didn’t Daddy tell you I was gonna be right back?” She gives him a look.
He kissed her on the forehead, “and she told me that it couldn’t wait.”
Turning back to me, she tucks herself into the side of this man, this Daddy who sends me a curious look. “Baby, this is who I was telling you about the other day, my dad’s old friend, this is his grandkid, used to babysit me and everything.” And when she peels herself away, she drapes an arm across my shoulder, squeezing as she laughs and giggles with her baby.
“A mom?” I can’t help the shock on my face. The last time I’d seen her she was digging her nails into a mud pie, squirming and whining about the wiggling worms underneath her fingers. She was covered in dirt like I was as we ran through the forest behind Gramps’ cabin. She used to kiss frogs!
“Yeah, surprised me too!” She elbows me with a belly laugh. And when her baby reached out, Momma introduced me. “Say hi, baby,” she gives a little tickle and the darling thing tucks her head into her momma’s neck. Eileen sends me a sweet smile, “she’s a little shy with new people.”
I shrug it off, unable to keep the smile off my face, “I would be too, what’s her name, by the way?”
Eileen’s smile only grows, “Name’s Honey, too sweet to be anything else, huh?” And looking at the little girl, it’s clear it fits her well.
“Sure does,” I say and then turn to the man standing in front of me, who’d been patiently watching the interaction with adoring eyes. “And you must be?” I ask, sticking my hand out.
“Garth, nice to meet you,” he smiles warmly, pulling my hand into a firm hug, and I have to laugh it out, patting his back as he does mine. Pulling away, Eileen is quick to take the spot between us both, Honey staring at me with wide eyes from her momma’s neck.
“Pleasure,” and as I’m about to say anything else, Garth’s phone rings, and he pulls it out, checking the name on the phone and gives me a polite nod, he turns away, answering it.
I turn to Eileen, waiting till she looks at me for a second before I ask, “so, married yet?” Eileen’s smile isn’t big but it’s excited, aiming it downwards to her kid.
“Wanted to wait until Honey was either bigger or, I don’t know, the right time for the ceremony. I mean, the certificate was already signed before she was even thought of- but, we both wanted to wait till she could remember it, you know?” Eileen’s too sweet, I tell her so. I tell her her family is going to give me cavities and Honey starts to clap when her momma laughs.
“Hey, Mom’s starting to wonder where we’re at,” Garth says coming back after the call, and Eileen nods and turns back to me.
“We’re having a little barbeque, you’re welcome to join if you want.” And it’s… You want to think about it, want to come off as casual. But the thought of going back to the cabin and getting freaked out again… you’re less than casual.
“As long as you don’t mind!” I say, nodding so fast my vision blurs for a second, and though Honey seems to be the only to notice the raise in volume, she doesn’t make a mention of it. Eileen shushes me, tells me it’s no bother, that I’m always welcome.
“Did you drive here?” She asks and the thought of walking to the grocery store, the three miles of a dirt road, the edge of a forest, and myself? No way I would’ve lasted long before rushing back to my beat up Sedan. “Here, Garth, give her the address,” and he does, even sends it through a text to my phone, giving me both of theirs.
“You can change if you want, but I think you look great so head over whenever you’re ready!” Eileen says, kissing my cheek goodbye and squeezing my shoulders again, Garth giving another hug and Honey waving shyly goodbye. I’m left in the cereal aisle with Apple Jacks in my hand.
I bite my lip bringing up the hand holding my phone and press the bone of my wrist into my mouth, thinking long and hard if I want to go change. There was still the thought of needing to clean the bathroom. No doubt the tub needed to be drained but…
Gramps, forgive me, I’ve never been scared to be in that house but right now it’s a little… A little too much.
I check out with cereal, a few bags of chips and bottled teas, fully prepared to leave it all in the back. And when I get back to my car, I check the trunk and I’m just slightly grateful for leaving my overnight bag in there. The flannel and jeans beat the dark sweats and baggy tee, I change inside the store, ignoring the pointed look I got from someone who looked three steps out of the first boutique known to mankind.
I ended up with the flannel going over my tee but still, I’m a little more presentable after I changed and splashed water in my face.
I was not ignoring my problems. I was not running away from my grandfather’s house that he left me. A house I don’t have to worry about losing. I was not at all worried about what’s going to happen after the barbeque is over and I have to go home. I am not worried about tonight at all.
I breathe in and out as I pull out of the parking spot, beginning the drive to Eileen’s. I am completely fine.
Opening my eyes after a slow blink, I have to slam the breaks before I hit this strange person in the middle of the street. He doesn’t say anything, just turns the slightest in my direction and says something, and with my windows up, that I cannot hear. It’s when he’s out of the way that I start moving, pulling to the edge of the store’s parking lot when I glance behind me.
He’s nowhere to be found in the somewhat empty lot. Not nearly close enough to be walking inside of the store already.
I let out the shakiest laugh I’ve to offer, mumbling a bunch of curses as I try to shove that into the back of my head. “Completely fine, yeah, yeah, nothing to worry about. Totally fine.”
Utterly fine.
#wilbur soot x reader#wilbur soot x you#wilbur soot x y/n#wilbur x reader#wilbur x you#wilbur x y/n#au: fae#au: fairies#pov: first#c: wilbur soot#c: faebur
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Ok now that it’s been like 14 hours I am a little freaked out about the alcohol poisoning last night. I went to a massive state school with a party culture and I’ve seen people get very very very drunk. Only time I thought somebody might have alcohol poisoning, it was a suitemate in my freshman dorm and she was able to stumble around and would open her eyes when we shook her hard enough, pulse was normal, and she never puked, so four of us were sober and stayed up and watched her all night.
Last night my coworker went from “really drunk” to completely unresponsive in ten minutes. Like I was holding up his body weight COMPLETELY, he was unconscious and vomiting, pulse was elevated and he was sweating and shaking. It was just so crazy how fast he went from talking and dancing to unconscious on the pavement in my lap
#his blood pressure the first couple hours in the er was 140/50 it was INSANE#also the violent shivering and sweating was crazy to see :(#he was out for five hours
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LOTF blog#5 #lovepiggy #justkilledsimon
After most of the people from my group left me for Jack; Piggy, me, and I, think Simon was all that was left. I told Piggy that bathing was pretty much the only thing left that we needed to do. While getting in the water, Piggy and I both admire the clouds and reminisce about how on the first night of the crash landing it rained really hard. Then Piggy starts blabbing about how if he gets his specs wet he needs to get out, so I start squirting some water at him. It's kind of fun to pick on him but when I think about it, Piggy is the only friend I got. I start laughing and then eventually Piggy starts laughing with me. After some silence, Piggy and I start listing things we want such as to go home, or cooler air. I asked Piggy where the rest of the people (the ones that were left) went and Piggy claimed that they also left to go to Jack’s party while pointing in a certain direction. Then my stomach started to growl but I don’t think Piggy heard it, that’s when I remember Jack was having a feast with a bunch of food. I stare in the direction he pointed at and then quickly look down at the water. Then Piggy said “P’raps we ought to go too” and I quickly looked at him, and then his face turned red. I can’t believe he’d think that we would go to Jack’s dumb party with all their stupid hunters. But I am, after all, very hungry, and after taking another glance at Piggy, I’m sure he is too. So I squirt water at Piggy again and then we start to get out and head to Jack’s “feast.” When me and Piggy arrived, we saw a big fire with a pig on top and some boys handing out meat to everyone. I don’t know if Jack saw us, but I took a piece of meat and so did Piggy. We ate silently, enjoying the meal because we hadn’t eaten in days. Then Jack starts asking if everyone had enough meat, which I guess was him trying to act like a leader, but no one answered him. Serves him right, if anything he is a fake leader, they only like him because he is crazy enough to hunt and touch pig droppings for food. Then he asked if they ate enough meat far more aggressively and everyone answered in a sort of mumbled panic. That’s when I realize that the boys only follow Jack because they are afraid of him; there is no way they think he is a real leader. Suddenly, Jack asks the group who will join him, which is bizarre, he is just using the food he got to his advantage. He has no real leadership abilities; everyone is crazy if they join him. I speak up saying that all they do is chase food but then Jack interrupts me stating that I, too, chase after food. My face goes crimson and I start stuttering but then I remember the conch and so I say, “I’ve got the conch” but then Jack laughs in a sort of “So what?” manner. None of them care about the rules anymore. I start talking about how they have no shelters for the heavy rain that is about to fall but then Jack starts saying “Do our dance”, do what dance? A group of boys start getting up with spears and going around in a circle chanting. Rain started pouring down along with some thunder and it kind of put me in a trance. I started dancing with them and singing along too. The beast crawled into the circle, so they started stabbing it. The beast came amidst a feast! More meat for all of us, I guess. Piggy and I started jumping and walking around in a circle and soon everyone joined in. We were all having fun but then, we heard someone screaming about the mountain or a body. I couldn’t really hear the chants and thunder. But then after the dance I looked back, and I wanted to puke. I didn’t- I couldn’t have been with the group. We didn’t kill any beast or pig, or even a boar. We had killed Simon. Simon was the beast, and we, including Piggy and I, were part of the group that murdered him.
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the mystery of the universe - Harringrove WIP
a/n: i hope u guys like it, this is my FIRST harringrove piece (and it’s a WIP sorry i could not miss out on harringrove week)
tags/warnings: fluff, angst, UNEDITED
AU idea where canon! Steve gets thrown into a parallel universe at end of S3 where Billy is alive and he gets the chance to befriend him to falls deeply in love with him. It feels right to be here, to be with Billy to be in this universe that was in the future where they could be together and could celebrate each other, where they could marry each other. Life was great, there was no upside down and Billy seemed less angry, less haunted and when Steve met Billy’s mother it all made so much sense.
But Steve’s body can’t handle being there for much longer and it breaks Steve’s heart, he’s dreaded this because in his universe Billy is dead. His Billy is dead he didn’t want to go back to that universe. He couldn’t and when he cried to Billy about it Billy laughs:
“The stars were aligned for us, Harrington, the universe brought us together the day I died and now it’s ready to take you back.” They’d look up at the stars, the humbling stars. “And I don’t know if it’s cruel or a blessing.” Steve put his head on Billy’s shoulder, tears have dried and he gripped tighter into his hand.
“Both,” he mumbled pressing a kiss on his warm skin. “Can we pretend for the rest of the week that it isn’t happening? That it’s not taking me back?”
“I don’t think you can handle that.”
“What why?” Sure Steve was a bit of a cry baby but he wasn’t always like that. He could pretend, he wanted to pretend and be happy again like the last 8 months.
“I wanted to purpose to you.” Steve’s heart stills. “I even brought a ring.” Billy laughs at himself fishing out a small box out of his pocket. “I know it’s silly, even mom said that but she still got all excited about it. So I thought maybe it’s not crazy and I knew college was an issue and-but now this whole universe thing too so I-”
“Yes.”
Billy raises a brow.
“Yes, I want to marry you.”
Billy stares at him, eyes burning. “Steve you can’t I-”
“I want to marry you Billy,” Steve holds out his hand, so Billy puts on the ring and they pretend for this whole week that Steve wasn’t going to disappear at the end of it. It might have been the best week of them all. They spent it around town, driving through the state, celebrating, swimming, skinny dipping even at night, kissed every moment they wanted to, made love, in the car, in bed, in the bathroom, in the kitchen, at the lake. Everything they did felt magical. They pictures every chance they got.
“Billy!!” Steve wanted to hide away when Billy had the camera out right after he stepped out the shower. “I need as many pictures of you as possible or I will think I’ve went crazy and imagined this hot guy.” They took pictures together, so many pictures.
“So I’m just some hot guy.” Steve challenged.
“Hot guy who happens to be the love of my life.” Billy said back looking at the pictures. Steve’s heart fluttered and he jumps at him to kiss him. When they day finally came Steve’s body felt exhausted, tired out and had a nose bleed. Billy hovered over him when he puked, rubbing his back.
They drove back to the mall where it all started, where they had met that fateful day months ago. Steve looked down at the golden band around his finger. Billy had Jimi Hendrix playing softly. Steve felt at ease, the headaches might still be there but his heart felt at ease, complete. He wouldn’t spending the rest of his life like this.
When they walked through the mall he felt light headed almost stumbled on his own feet. Billy wrapped his arm around his waist to help him. They came to the spot where Steve came from on his first day in this universe. It was the same spot he was in when the mall was a complete wreck. It was a small janitor room, they got into it.
“I remember I turned on the lights on and off 3 times.” Steve reaches out for the light and Billy stops him.
“Wait I...” Billy had difficulty to find his next words. “I want you to promise me something.” Steve blinks.
“Of course,”
“Can you promise me that you’ll move on? That you’ll be happy and not cry so much. Because I can’t- I don't want to think of you crying over there.” Steve’s aches.
“Billy-“
“You’re too pretty to be crying over me,” Billy cracks a grin creasing Steve’s soft cheeks. “You deserve to be happy. You will be happy, you will be able to move on and have a good life, yeah?” Because Billy saw the heartbreak in Steve’s eyes when he realized that he had to go back, he heard Steve crying in the bathroom, he calmed him down when Steve woke up crying because of the nightmares and he watched Steve scream his lungs out in the rain when the realization that he had to go back. Billy didn’t want Steve to live his life like this.
“And you?”
“I will move on too, okay?”
“Don’t forget me,” Steve feels selfish, but Billy just grins widely amused.
“How can I ever forget the love of my life?” Billy whispers leaning forward to kiss Steve. “I’ll be grateful that I got this weird out of my universe boyfriend that fights monsters in his.” Billy said tapping his chin. “I think I have the coolest boyfriend of all time.” Steve looks down at their hands, both of them wearing the golden bands. Steve smiles, with tears in his eyes but he smiles so Billy smiles too. Together they count down the number of times Steve presses the light.
“Don’t forget me, you’re boring boyfriend.” Billy says going in for one last kiss.
“Never.” Steve promises. Billy smiles and Steve saw the tears in his eyes. This was their goodbye. Three. It was pitch black and suddenly it wasn’t, but Steve was alone. He was in bloody sailor outfit and his face ached. He stumbled out of the janitor’s room.
“Hey, kid we need you to get out of here!” A man in uniform helped him the ruined Starcourt mall and he stumbled into the cold, ambulances everywhere.
“Steve!” It’s Robin with concerned eyes.
“How long have I been gone?” Steve asks.
“I think like 10 minutes.” She replies with a shrug and Steve feels sick. He was gone for months, he was with Billy for 8 months but apparently he was just gone 10 minutes. 8 months of his life were reduced 10 minutes of in this universe.
“Billy…?” He asked he couldn’t bring himself.
“Max hasn’t stopped crying.” Robin said sympathetically. Steve’s heart aches fingers reaching out to his ring finger but then he looks down. His heart drops. His ring wasn’t there. Steve turns around to the mall pushing through the officers and running away back inside ignoring Robin’s calls for him and the avoiding the officers. He runs to the janitor’s room again and turns the light looking around widely before dropping to his knees to look around the floor more closely.
“Steve?! What’s wrong??” Robin had come to him. He looks up to her and Robin was surprised at how distraught Steve looked.
“My ring, my ring.” The one thing that he thought he could keep from his lover as a memory of their love. Steve pulled on his hair, his head dropping to the floor tears hitting the tiles, “My ring.”
Billy was in the janitor's room alone suddenly, he turns on the light and he feels eyes sting and his heartbreak slowly. He looks down at his shoes when he spots the golden ring that he had given Steve on the floor. He got on his knees grabbing the ring with shaking hands and Billy sits on the floor body leaning against the door. Holding into the ring in his hands, he cries by himself. Nothing had ever hurt Billy like this, it felt like his heart has been ripped out and shed into pieces. He curls into himself and cries, and cries and cries for his lost lover.
Funny that Steve said Billy died in his universe because it feels like Steve has died here too.
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Sneak Peek #2 of A Shift in Reality Chapter 4
(Hey, because it's been longer than I promised AND because my wrists/arms are feeling MUCH better, here's a second sneak peek of A Shift in Reality, which I'll hopefully get done before the week is over)
Unfortunately, the cuteness of King wasn't enough for Luz. After cleaning one toilet within thirty minutes, she ran out of the restroom, gasping for air and downright dry heaving, almost throwing up.
"If you puke, they'll probably make you clean it up."
Luz took a break from her anguish to see Hunter. The crooked teen leaned against the communal building, looking at the ex-camper with a cocky grin.
"What...are you...doing here...?" Luz asked between breaths.
"I was told to tell you that I'm waiting for the men's side to clear some space," Hunter explained, "But instead, I'm going to shoot straight with you: I'm making sure you don't slack off while Lilith goes handle another situation involving two kids and a stolen hot glue gun."
"So...you're...spying on...me..."
"Yup," Hunter said, popping his 'P." "Which means you better get back to it. You want to pay back Darius, don't you?"
"I...didn't...even--"
"Sure you didn't," Hunter cut her off with a wave. "It's just that a lot of the evidence points towards you. And, like, I mean all the evidence."
Luz opened her mouth, ready to further argue with Hunter, only for life to throw another curveball at her.
"Wait, what are you doing?"
Tearing her attention away from Hunter, Luz looked left to see that Boscha, of all people, was standing before her.
"What are you doing here?" Luz asked.
"I came to use the bathroom, obviously," Boscha explained with an eye roll.
"Yeah, you might want to wait on that," Hunter told her. "At least, until a certain someone finally finishes her job."
"I will!" Luz protested.
"Stop saying it and start doing it!"
"But why is she doing it?" Boscha asked, "Shouldn't it be that crazy groundskeeper lady or something?"
"Oh, she is. But Luz is helping her."
"Why?"
"That's not--"
"As punishment," Hunter said, cutting off Luz's defense, "You see, Firestarter over here decided to sneak out late at night and broke Darius' electric kiln. The smart thing would be to send her home after that, but the Owl Lady had the brilliant idea of having the vandal pay off the damages."
Boscha blinks, her face alit with awe.
"...So, she's basically doing grunt work for how long?" she asked.
"The rest of the summer."
"Oh, my God," Boscha smiled, "That is the best thing I've ever heard all summer!"
"It's only been a few days of the season."
"And it's still the best thing!"
"Kid, get back in here!" Eda called from the bathroom, "We've got five more toilets to clean!"
"You better do what she says," Boscha smirked, "Unless you want to get kicked out anyway."
"She makes a good point," Hunter agreed, "Now get."
Luz, feeling defeated, did the only thing she could. So, she sighed, breathed in deep, and then headed back inside to return to her work.
#the owl house#luz noceda#toh hunter#the golden guard#toh boscha#eda clawthorne#a shift in reality#sorry for the long wait
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Season 1 Episode 3- “Roaring Muscles” (part 2)
sometimes working out feels great. it gives you a high like no other and makes you feel like you could do anything
sometimes working out makes you feel so shit you puke your guts up mid workout
question: is this all might’s truck? does all might own a truck? does all might have a driver’s license? these are all important questions that i need to know but never get answered. i’m losing my mind
izuku’s extra training finally catches up to him some six or so months after he starts training with all might, and he conks out in the middle of a run.
all might initially tells him “hey it’s not healthy to overwork yourself” despite being the person to give him a workout plan where he only sleeps four hours every weekday, but then izuku gives a little speech about wanting to be the best hero there is and not just scraping by. you know, in a lot of harry potter aus (obligatory fuck jkr), people make izuku a gryffindor because he’s a brave little boy with a heart of gold, but honestly i think he’d make a better slytherin. he has ambition for days, he’s a weird little fanboy creep, and he’s known for having a sharp mind. anyways, what were we talking about? overworking yourself and how it’s actually totally healthy and cool?
all might remembers episode 2, when izuku told him the type of hero he wants to be. take a sip.
all might is once again inspired by izuku’s tenacity and picks him up by his scruff like a wily kitten, promising to make him a better plan for the next uh (checks watch) four months? all might calls himself an old man because he’s at least fifty and probably feels seventy, but izuku is quick to say “you’re not old, all might” which proves that they actually aren’t related because everyone knows that children will always take any opportunity to call their parents old as dirt
ua’s entrance exam happens on february 26th which is very interesting because from what my limited research has shown me, most japanese high schools hold their exams in january. ua’s a little bit late, which is weird considering it gets literally thousands of applicants that it then has to go through in less than 2 months. crazy. go beyond, i guess
in preparation for the exam, izuku’s piled up all of the trash dumped on the beach and is screaming on top of it. that feels like it must be a great way to destress. i wish i had a mountain of trash to scream on top of when i had to go in for finals week at my high school
all might is super proud of izuku because he went above and beyond (plus ultra and all that) and cleaned up all of the beach and not just the area that all might told him to. izuku’s kind of out of it because i assume he just didn’t sleep at all last night so he could work on cleaning the beach instead
the ten months have passed, izuku’s cleaned the beach, the time is at hand. izuku is finally ready to inherit one for all.
… and the mechanism by which he gets it is by eating all might’s hair.
as all might encourages izuku to eat his hair (offscreen so the viewers aren’t traumatized), we get a nice shot of izuku’s sick ass kicks. why the hell wasn’t he wearing shoes while cleaning up the trash. all it would take is one cut from a shitty piece of garbage and izuku would have every disease ever in a heartbeat. i don’t trust this beach and izuku shouldn’t either. i don’t go to beaches barefoot even when i know they’re probably clean. to be fair, i kind of just hate beaches in general, so that might be a part of it. i’m like anakin skywalker, i hate sand. what were we talking about? eating all might’s hair?
is the exam location not just the main building? why are there three doors? school’s still in session at this point, so i wonder if the entrance exam is sort of like a break week for the students. that would be neat, i think.
i’ve been learning japanese lately, and while i can barely even recognize all of the hiragana, i’ve started learning a couple of kanji! one of the words i learned was 学生 (gakusei) which means student. i don’t know what the first kanji means by itself or what it means in this, but i got really excited when i recognized a kanji
izuku’s still traumatized because he had to eat all might’s hair, but he’s also worried that he hasn’t actually inherited the power because he doesn’t feel any different, which is funny because he should be getting super senses any second now. more on that when we get to the third movie. sorry.
katsuki’s here too. izuku kind of freaks out at the sight of him because he assumes katsuki’s going to end his entire bloodline for daring to take the exam, but katsuki just growls at izuku and walks on by. izuku is as baffled as the audience. apparently, ever since the sludge villain incident, katsuki’s stopped being a bully. he’s still a huge douchebag, just not a bully
izuku proves to be the most relatable person on the planet by tripping and deciding that this is what kills him
luckily for him, a nice girl stops him from falling flat on his face and accepting the cold concrete embrace of death.
thanks nice girl, i hope we see you again
this is perhaps one of my favorite izukus. i love when he looks like a scrawny noodle boy because at this point in time he is canonically ripped. he canonically has a six pack, but he just looks like a soft and squishy little noodle boy
he’s also super lame! and i love him for that
if there was ever a voice i wasn’t prepared for in the english dub, it’s presentation michael’s. oh my god that voice hit me like a freight train and not in a good way. i feel winded. is… is that sonny strait?
anyways, it’s time to learn about the exam that the hero kids are going to be participating in! telling everyone about it is the voice hero: present mic. izuku fanboys over him because he’s a nerd guy. katsuki calls him a nerd guy.
present mic begins explaining the exam right as the episode suddenly starts displaying captions out of nowhere. the way it works is that you have to beat up some robots to earn points. the more points you get, the better you do. also, people who apply from the same school are sent to different fake cities so they don’t help each other out during the exam, which is lame. katsuki also thinks it’s lame, but because he was looking forward to crushing izuku… in the exam. how many fake cities does ua have? stupid question, i know, but also the answers kill me.
tenya has a question
tenya asks about the fourth robot shown on the handout and also tells izuku to shut the fuck up. kind of mean, tenya. some of us have social anxiety
present mic goes on to explain that the fourth kind of robot is worth zero points. it’s functionally an obstacle and little else and there’s one in each of the cities.
is the implication here that there’s a battle center a-z? or is it some arbitrary amount, like a-f? it’s killing me. i need to know how many fake cities are on ua’s campus
izuku psyches himself up for the battle to come and the credits roll
episode 3 is perhaps a quieter moment in between the high points of the sludge villain incident in episode 2 and the meat of the entrance exam in episode 4. it’s funny that this episode has so little going on in it, because it has one of the most important things in the story contained within it— izuku receiving one for all. either way, the preamble is almost done, we’re just about at the starting line, just about ready to leap into the story proper. we just have one more episode to go.
refill count: 0
#2022 mha liveblog#season 1#bnha#mha#midoriya izuku#all might#bakugou katsuki#uraraka ochako#present mic#iida tenya
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