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gators-aid · 4 months

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decode (pt. 3) - toji f. x reader

masterlist

part two | part four

previously titled: leave us

you and toji fushiguro have been in an on-again-off-again relationship all throughout high school. over the summer break after graduation, you find out you're pregnant. too bad toji has already skipped town after your last breakup.

tags: fem!reader, cheating, underage (mentions they have sex, but nothing explict, toji and reader are high school freshmen), mentioned eating disorder (not really a disorder, reader just forgets to eat, tag is just in case), mention of domestic abuse (not between toji & reader), americanized setting, non sorcerer universe, 00's setting, reader is megumi's mom, exes to lovers (eventually), their relationship is toxic rn, not beta read we die like toji :(

wc: 3.4k

You had met Toji in your first year of high school at some house party. Some sophomore that Utahime knew was throwing it, giving the two of you an in.

You and Utahime had been dancing on the dude’s couch, bottles in hand. You had never really drank before, but you made sure to keep yourself aware enough to get the two of you home by the end of the night. Your house was a fifteen minute walk from here, and your plan was to sneak the two of you through your window before three.

That’s when you saw him. He was leaning against the wall talking to some girl. Just by his looks, you thought he might have been a couple years above you. He was tall, taller than most guys in the house, and definitely more muscular. You were immediately attracted, Utahime giggled at you once she saw where you were looking. “You should go talk to him!” She slurred, still moving to the sound of the music with you.

“Seems like he’s got his hands busy.” You whisper-yelled over the music. He had them all over that girl.

“Utahime!” You heard from below the two of you. Hakari, the guy whose house this was (and your future coworker), held on to her hand as she almost stumbled over to look down at him. “We’re gonna play seven minutes in heaven! Y’all wanna come?”

“That’s fucking corny!” Utahime giggled, “Let’s go, Y/N!” The two of you followed in a straight line behind Hakari to a relatively empty, but still extremely loud hallway. You all sat down in a circle with a group of students you didn’t recognize.

“Hey, you guys weren’t gonna start the fun without us, right?” You hear from behind you. It’s the guy from earlier. He pushes his hair (you think it's black, but can’t tell from the lighting) back and takes a swig of a beer bottle. The girl from earlier is with him, along with another guy you didn’t recognize.

“Toji, let us use that bottle. Hakari broke the other one!” One guy yells over the music. “Thought this was seven minutes in heaven,” A girl with stark white hair begins, “You don’t need a bottle for that game.”

“Too much work to write everyone’s names down, there’s a bunch of freshmen here. I don’t know them.” Hakari responds.

“Scoot over!” The tall guy, Toji, yells at you over the music, and you do. Allowing his group of three to squeeze in next to you. Utahime giggles and leans over your lap to address him. “Hey!” She yells, almost falling over your lap. “What’s your name? My friend Y/N-”

“I’ll go first!” you yell, hoping to silence her before she can say anything embarrassing.

“Wheeeew look at the brave young freshman!” Hakari yells. “Hey, what’s your name again?” You ignore him and spin the bottle. 'Damn,' you think, 'I’m actually going to have to go into a closet with someone after this.' You just wanted to interrupt Utahime.

It lands on some guy you don't recognize.

“Wee woo wee woo!” Hakari yells, mocking a police siren. “New rule, freshman and senior pairings will not be allowed! Go again!” he yells at you. The group bursts out laughing as you grab the bottle to spin again.

The bottle spins and spins until it lands on… the girl that Toji was making out with earlier. She makes a face and looks at you. “I’m not into girls, sorry!” She yells.

“I am!” Utahime announces to the group.

“What the hell, Takako, you have such a dirty mind!” Hakari says. You can feel Toji eyeing you. It’s slightly unsettling. “Seven minutes in heaven does not imply romantic or sexual advances!”

She scoffs, “Then why didn’t you let her go in there with Kenjaku?” You’re doing everything you can to avoid Toji’s gaze. Seriously, what was this dude’s problem? Was there something on your face? Did your makeup come off to reveal the big ass pimple on your cheek? Shit, you knew you should’ve used more setting spray.

“Because it’s my duty to protect the young women attending my party, Takako! Better safe than sorry.”

Suddenly, you see a hand go down to the bottle and tilt it slightly. It’s Toji, and he’s pointed the bottle directly at himself. “Well, would you look at that! Seems like the bottle has mysteriously landed on me and not Takako!” He yells over the music.

You take this time to finally look him in the face. From this close, you notice the scar on the side of his lip, his piercing green eyes.

“But…” you say, confused, “they said no seniors and freshmen.”

The group bursts into laughter. “Don’t know if I should be offended or not.” He says.

“He’s in our year, Y/N!” Utahime exclaims, “He’s in my algebra class, I couldn’t remember his name though…”

“Wait, this isn’t how it works!” Takako says, panicked. Now that you’ve already looked at Toji, you can see her arm locked into his, she’s yelling into the group’s circle.

“The bottle lands where it lands!” Toji says, throwing his arms up. “Come on, mama,” he starts, untangling from Takako. “We got seven minutes.”

He grabs your arm and leads you to the hall closet. You can hear whoops and whistles from behind you, but you don’t know if it’s from your small group or from the rest of the party goers.

He turns the light on, and the two of you push back winter coats to make room in the closet. He closes the door behind the two of you. For a moment he’s quiet. He just looks at you. “You’re really pretty.” He says, leaning against the door, a little too cockily for a high school freshman.

“Thanks.” You say quietly. It’s a little less loud in the closet, music muffled by the bundle of winter coats. “Is um.. Is Takako your girlfriend or something?”

He laughs, “Why do you ask?”

“Because it’s pretty fucked up if you took me in here with her sitting right out there.”

He smiles. “Nah.” He says, leaning closer to you. “She’s not.”

You can feel his breath on your face, and smell his cologne from here. It’s a little strong, you can smell the beer in his breath too. “She’s into you though,” you say. He leans closer and you put your hand gently on his chest. Your lips are millimeters apart. “That was kinda mean,” He laughs again. “To be really, really honest, I don’t give a fuck about her.”

“That's really mean.” You respond, and suddenly your lips are on each other. This isn’t your first kiss, but Toji makes it feel like it is. You two grasp onto each other desperately, hold onto each other like you’ve known each other for years, like he’s a long lost love.

It doesn’t escalate from there, you two just kiss and kiss and kiss.

You don’t notice how long it’s been until you hear a knock on the door. Toji pulls away from your face and rests his forehead on yours. “Damn.” He says, licking his lips.

That night, Toji had offered to drive you and Utahime home. You had spent the last couple hours at the party together, you continued drinking while Toji refrained, wanting to drive you home.

He had helped you sneak Utahime into your bedroom. In your time spent with Toji, you hadn’t noticed her drinking more and more, so by the time you got her into Toji’s car, she was passed out cold.

You had held Utahime in your arms as Toji climbed into your window and pulled her through. You climbed in after.

“Thank you so much.” You said to him as the two of you lay her in your bed. “You’re seriously a life saver.”

“It’s no problem, anything for a pretty lady like you.” You rolled your eyes.

He climbed back out your window, turning around to face you one more time before you left. You lent onto your window sill and smiled at him. “I’ll see you on Monday?” you asked. He smiled back. “I’ll see you then.” He lent up and kissed you on the lips once more before turning back around and walking to his truck.

You did see him on Monday. And almost every Monday after.

You and Toji became incredibly close incredibly fast. Toji clung to you for affection, you clung to him for attention. You sat together at lunch everyday. He’d buy you Cokes from the overpriced vending machine and you’d invite him into your bedroom everytime it got to be too much at home. You guys never officially started dating, it just seemed like it happened overnight.

He never came over during the day. You were too nervous to tell your mother and he was too nervous to meet her.

She didn’t know you even had a boyfriend until Toji cheated on you. Not the best introduction. You were working late at the diner, you often did on weekends to speed up the process of your college fund. It was Shoko who had told you.

She, Geto, and Gojo had come to the diner after leaving a party. They were all clearly a little tipsy, so one of the older servers had passed them off onto you. “I’m not dealing with definitely-not-drunk teenagers at this time of night. I’m ready to go home.”

“Oh my god! I know you! You’re Y/N! We’re in the same government class!” Geto slurred. You smiled at him. “How are you guys doing? You go to Hakari’s party?” You asked.

“Yeah! It was really fun, but Gojo’s curfew is at one so we gotta get him sobered up.” Geto supplied.

“Hey, Y/N, are you still with Toji? I see you too together alllllll the time at school.” Gojo slurred. You laughed. “Kind of.” You and Toji had gotten into an argument that afternoon. Toji was going to that same party, and you, having to work, couldn’t go with. Somehow, it turned into an argument about who does more for who. You weren’t broken up, and you weren’t on a break, but you were both certainly angry with each other.

“Ohhhh what the fuck?” Gojo said, looking wide-eyed at his friends. They all looked between each other, clearly confused and talking to each other through their facial expressions.

“Uhh, Y/N, can you just get us some waters, and can you get Gojo like an omelet or some shit?” Shoko says. “Uhh yeah! Of course!”

“No mushrooms!” Gojo shouts as you walk away. You turn and give him a thumbs up.

That whole night, you could feel the tension from the table. Like they all felt bad for you. Like they pitied you. After they paid the bill and Geto and Gojo walked out, Shoko called you over. “Hey, Y/N, you almost done working?” She asked.

“Yeah, you guys were my last table for tonight. What’s up?”

“Look,” she says, “I don’t know what’s up with you and Toji, it’s not my business, but I think you should probably know he and Takako were all over each other at Hakari’s tonight.” She looked into your eyes to gauge a reaction.

Your heart had dropped. You could feel your fingertips tingling like you had lost all the blood in them. They felt lighter than the rest of your body. “Oh, uh, yeah it's not a big deal.” You say. You start to wring your hands on your waist apron. “Thanks for letting me know, though.” You attempt a smile at her. She looks at you with pity and concern, until you can almost visibly see her say ‘fuck it’ in her head. She leans in and gives you a hug.

You vowed it not to be true, but Shoko had no reason to lie to you. Gojo and Geto had no reason to act so strange when you mentioned you’re still with Toji. Shoko bringing up Takako was not a coincidence.

You squeeze her back and you can feel your breathing picking up. “T-Thank, um, Thank you.” you say.

You didn’t call him when your shift was over for him to pick you up as usual, instead opting to take the bus route. You got home that night, thankful to see that your mother had already gone to sleep. You ignored the food she left for you in the fridge and went straight to the shower.

You didn’t cry until you got into bed, when you could smell his cologne on your pillow. You stayed like that for hours. Curled up, silently sobbing, until you heard a light knocking on your window. You knew who it was. The only person it could be,

“Y/N?” He whispered through the window. He sounded panicked. You could hear the pane slide up and him climb in.

“Oh, shit, thank god.” He whispered, climbing into your bed. His voice was shaking. “Hey, you awake, mama?”

You turned around to face him. “You had me scared, baby.” He said, moving your hair out of your face. “You never called after your shift. Just ‘cause you’re mad at me doesn’t mean I won’t come get you.”

“You fucked her, didn’t you?” You asked, your voice cracking.

“Huh?”

“You. Fucked. Her. Didn’t. You?”

His hand froze on your cheek.

You sat up in your bed. “You fucked her, and then you wanted to come and see me after?” You asked, voice rising with each word.

“Hey-”

“What?” You ask. You’re fully yelling now. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Y/N, stop yelling.” He warns. He stands up from the bed. You stand up and get in his face.

“Don’t tell me what to do, Toji!” You pushed his chest. He didn’t move an inch. “You don’t get to come in here, acting like you’re all worried about me! Acting like you give a fuck!” You were full on sobbing by now.

“Y/N-”

“What the hell is going on in here?” You hear your door swing open and whip around to see your mother standing at the door with a baseball bat in hand.

Shit.

“What the fuck are you doing in my house? Get the hell out of here!”

Toji books it out the window, looking at you one last time before leaving.

“What the hell are you thinking, Y/N? You have a boy in here?” She yells at you. “You’re too young for this! Doing this under my roof, are you insane?”

You just stand there staring at the floor. “Mom?” You ask, voice cracking. She sets the bat down by your door and rushes to your side. “Did he hurt you? Y/N? What did he do?” You cling onto the back of her shirt and cry into her neck. “Mom-” Is all you can get out before you’re violently shaking and you can feel your knees give out.

It’s a week later when you see Toji again. Your mother had let you stay home from school for a day, and when you got back, Toji was nowhere to be found.

Word got around school quickly. If it hadn’t been Shoko who told you, It could’ve been ten other people. Utahime and Saori, another girl you befriended, became your lunch buddies, taking Toji’s place.

You didn’t want to seem as hurt as you felt, not with Takako grinning at you in the halls every time she saw you.

He was at your window that night. You didn’t have work, and had taken the free time to catch up on some assignment you had missed. You heard a knock on your window and immediately tensed. “Fuck.” You whispered to yourself when you heard the pane slide up.

You hadn’t even thought about locking your window. Didn’t expect Toji to want anything to do with you.

“I saw the light on." He explained, like it gave him the right to come in, "Can we talk?” He whispered, “and can you not yell?” You didn’t look up at him. He towered over you from where you sat at your desk. “Can’t promise you anything.” You said. You pretended to work on an algebra problem, but you couldn’t focus with him in the room.

“Come with me to my truck then.” He pleads. You tap your pencil on the wooden desk and turn your head to look up at him. He looks a mess. Hair mussed like he hadn’t brushed it in days, clothes rumpled and stained. His right eye sports a fading black ring around it.

You bite your lip. You refuse to show any concern, but you're too curious. You point your pencil at his eye, “What happened there?” He stares at you for a second.

“Can you come or not?” He asks. This would be a common occurrence throughout the rest of your relationship. Toji showing up with a new bruise and brushing you off when you question it.

“Can you answer my question?” You taunt back.

“Please, Y/N.”

You sigh and throw your pencil down on the desk. “I’m doing homework, Toji.” You respond.

“Please.” He begs.

You know you shouldn’t. You and your mother had had a lengthy conversation just this morning. “You need to stay away from boys like him.” she said as she moved around the kitchen to prepare you breakfast. This hadn’t been a common occurrence until she noticed you had stopped eating. It wasn’t intentional, you just didn’t have the energy for it anymore. “They don’t do anything but lead you down a path you don’t want to go down, Y/N.” She says, placing a plate of eggs and toast in front of you. “He’s showing you who he is right now. Believe him.”

You contemplated it. You knew, deep down, that you shouldn’t. Knew you should’ve called for your mom the second he tapped on your window. But you didn’t.

“Okay.”

The two of you crawled out of your window and walked a few houses down to Toji’s truck, parked in an abandoned parking lot. The two of you hop in at the same time. You had suddenly wished you grabbed your coat. It wasn’t necessarily cold, you just wanted something to comfort you.

“I fucked up.” There it is. His voice, even if he’s saying something incredibly delusional and ridiculous, that is your comfort. He turns in his seat to face you. You do the same, your foot coming up to rest in the seat.

“I really, really fucked up.”

“So what’s your excuse?” You ask. You know it’s a bit hurtful. That was a little intentional.

“I just.. I don’t have one.”

You think about that for a second. “Sooo…” you begin with a laugh, suddenly ten times more bitter than before. “You had sex with another girl… just because?” You ask.

He has nothing to say to that.

“What am I to you, Toji?”

He looks at you for a second like he’s pondering. Trying to put it into words, or maybe trying to come up with something. You didn’t know.

“Everything.” He says, finally.

You smile. It’s a nasty, bitter smile. “That so?” You ask. “I’d hate to see how you treat someone you hate. Gotta be pretty bad.”

“Baby..”

“I’m sorry if I’m misunderstanding you here.” You say, you put your foot back onto the floor of his truck. “You brought me out here, interrupted me, mind you, to what? Tell me that you cheated on me because you felt like it?”

You don’t think you’ve ever been this angry in your life. You get out of the car. Not waiting for a response. You slam the door, briskly walking back home.

“Y/N! Come the fuck on!” You can hear him slamming the door and following you. “Don’t walk out here by yourself.” He’s being dramatic. Your house is literally within your field of vision. You can hear his feet rushing to catch up to you. You turn around and point your finger at his chest. “Leave me the fuck alone.” You say with as much conviction as you can muster.

He does.

When you get back home, you realize you had left your phone on your desk next to your abandoned algebra homework. You have a message from Utahime waiting for you. When you open your flip phone up, you read

hime <3: wanna go 2 hakari’s w me this fri?

Suddenly you have an idea. Make him hurt like you did. Maybe a little worse, if he cared about you at all, that is. Deep down you knew he did. Even if only a little.

you: ofc :)

longer chapter for tonight! i'm having fun writing this! thank you for the support!

i changed the name to decode because i was listening to it while writing this chapter and it was a little bit too perfect. everybody say thank you hayley williams.

other songs i listened to while writing include

breaking benjamin - diary of jane

foo fighters - everlong

bts (suga) - trivia: seesaw

paramore - all i wanted

i feel like im on drugs rn

tag list, comment to be added

@mechalily @nialiuwanderlust @xo-evangeline @ilovebattinson @cherrypieyourface @amaiyasha @erensslut

#toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #toji x y/n #toji x you #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader

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aajjks · 5 months

Note

aww 🥹

TPOL!JK

you’re confused when he says recent exe and as he goes in depth about that “recent exe” you realize he’s talking about you. your cheeks heat up and you’re smiling when he says he would do anything to have her back, her being you.

you hear him go on and on about how much he misses you and how he would give anything to have you back in the penthouse with him. because of you, he was eating funfetti pancakes for breakfast and he wasn’t always pissed off when he came to work. because of you, he began to smile more and finally busied himself with something else other than paperwork.

now that you’re away from him, he feels dull again and very lonely. you’re the first person he thinks of when he wakes up and the last when he goes to sleep. it’s all about you so this “friendship” although he’s happy to still be close, he misses the days you would kiss him like he would disappear and you would fuss at him when he hasn’t ate. he could go on and on and on because you mean that much to him and so to “match his energy” per say, you tell him about your recent exe.

“you know, my recent exe is an asshole. he can be pretty mean, a thorn in my side, and his patience is as thin as paper which i’m kind of surprised he even asked to be my friend. but, despite his butthole tendencies, he’s super sweet, so damn hot like he calls me beautiful but i really don’t think he looks in a mirror often because wheeeew, anyways, he treats me like i’m the only girl in the world and genuinely cares about me. did i mention my mom absolutely loves him? he even helps take care of my mother and calls me his princess but i wish he’d understand that just because i’m his princess it doesn’t mean i’m a baby. i want to take him back but i’m scared he’ll hurt me again because i keep taking him back…and i miss him too”

His eyes actually widen, when you start talking about your recent ex. Which is obviously him it doesn’t take him long to connect the dots.

He gives you a shy smile, and puts his hand on the table and signals for you to give yours into his. When you finally put your hand in his hand, he squeezes it tightly.

“did you just say that I have a butthole attitude? Wahhh yn you can be pretty mean too.” he pretends to be hurt. “really you miss me too?” His eyes soften. His heart is actually beating so fast right now.

It’s like he’s floating in the air, almost. Your words means so much to him because he really thought that you had lost every feeling you had for him.

“but I am serious. I have never loved anyone as much as I have loved you. I don’t think I have loved anyone before you anyways… no one has ever mattered to me the way you have..” he has to let you know how he feels about you, and how regretful he is.

“ and don’t think that I’m just saying this because I want you to pity me and get back together that’s not at all what I want.” He sighs. “ I just…. It just feels right to tell you how I really feel about you.” he closes his mouth and then inhales. “you are the color in my gray dark world yn. I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

He looks down, almost ashamed. “I think I will always love you… I just wish I had treated you the way you deserved.. I’m sorry that I always let my jealousy get the best of me.. I’m so sorry.”

“but I cannot stop loving you and it hurts me to be away from you and see you with others. I cannot stand it. My heart aches. I don’t like that feeling… it’s almost like someone is setting my heart on fire whenever I see you smiling like once you did with me and now with someone else.. it almost makes me want to die.”

#ask: tpol!jungkook

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infuriatedleprechaun · 2 years

Text

OSTRACIZED

CHAPTER 16: TORTURE

Chapters 1-15 here~

So, this one is pretty brutal, and where it starts to get dark

RECAP:

- "So. They have a serum that can basically make us feral in our other forms?" I needed a second to process this.

- "Sorry, I need to finish getting ready for our patrol, just wanted you guys to know"

- "Don't let that stop you from using your alternate forms. Especially for self defense though" Vicky and I now looked up at him with an exasperated expression.

"And what if we are used against you?" Came my immediate response.

"Again" The veteran added.

"We'll just deal with it"

- "Fall back!" Leo ordered his brothers, as he desperately thrashed in the net, trying to find a weak point and get free.

"We ain't leaving you!" Raph snapped angrily.

- "Project 1171 of TCRI, and project 5521 of Silver. If you're watching this, you can get the turtle back, but not for free. In exchange for yourselves. We are feeling generous enough to even let him out alive, too. But the longer you take to meet us at the rendezvous point? The more damage he will sustain" The last part was a voice over as the monitor showed the meet up point in the park.

-"You guys can plan something with Leo after we get him back" Vicky snapped.

- "Right out there!" I said, and Vicky nodded, determination and fear flooded both our eyes as we got closer to losing our cover, sure enough. A large group was there at the bottom of the grassy hill. And with them, a VERY chained up turtle, they where shocking him, and beating him with some strange high tech melee weapons.

- "You're not fucking going down there at all" the scent hit me too late, I quickly craned my head as Raph, Don, and Mikey hurriedly landed closest to me. "I'm not losing you too!" I don't think I've ever seen Raph more mad in his life, I frowned, why did he have to make it on time! He was about to make this very difficult.

wheeeew long recap, lots of DRAMA. So yes, with this chapter being called “Torture” Its pretty self explanatory, if you’re squeamish, don’t read, 18+... still...

WARNINGS: shock, burning, blood and beating will make a scene, I think that’s it. dark enough for yall? enjoy friends

Torture

"Raph. We have to" I frowned, trying to hold back my emotions in a desperate attempt, I backed up a little bit, getting a bit closer to break the tree line, I couldn't let him stop me.

"No. You don't. We'll find a way to get him back" he stomped up to me, my eyes were gentle as he got mere inches to me, so much for my resolve. His green eyes staring me down, there was so much fear behind them, I felt so guilty having to do this.

"Raph. They're hurting him and they're hurting him badly. We don't have time. We'll get him back now, and you guys can get us back later" Vicky stepped forward a bit. But she kept a gentle tone as well, her own eyes were sympathetic.

"You know he would refuse and not agree with this" Raph pointed at her.

"He doesn't have say in it. This is our decision and our decision alone" Vicky argued.

"No. It isn't this doesn't just involve you guys alone, you're not going down there" Raph growled at us.

"Raph. They'll kill him." Vicky now had tears in her eyes as she looked back down at where the leader was being held.

"Look at him. They're beating the shit out of him" she swallowed, her body shaking.

"They'll kill him but they wont kill us" Vicky told him.

"You don't know that" Raph hissed. The brothers behind him just looked pleading at us to not go, but seemed stunned into silence, even Mikey.

"I do. They've spent too much time, effort, and money into us, to kill us now? We'll be ok" Raph was staring a hole down into the two of us, giving a shaky breath, and looked like he was about to cry even.

I walked up to him, placing my hands on his face ever so gently, and tugged him down for a kiss. Holding it for several seconds before I released, swallowing my sadness down.

"No matter what happens. I love you. I love you all. Thank you for being an incredible family to me"

"Don't talk like that. We'll see you soon" Raph rasped. I didn't say good byes to everyone, because this wouldn't be goodbye, I was convinced they'd see me again, Vicky too.

"You will" Vicky assured, as I backed up to her, stepping on dead twigs and crispy leaves.

"You ready?"

"Yeah"

We turned and started to walk out of the treeline, we were walking with purpose, but being very cautious too. Last thing we wanted was for this to be a trap that could just get all 3 of us captured.

We trotted down the grassy hill carefully, and walked up to the group that quickly held guns up at us. Some looked like legitimate weapons, but the ones that really got my attention were the specially designed ones that looked like they shot darts. I had a pretty good guess on what was in the darts.

"What are you guys doing?!" Leo got to his feet, looking at us, but someone hit him back down to his knees. I winced, starting to move towards him to get them to stop or at least help him but had to stop when I was yelled at by them and they poked the air with their guns at me threateningly.

"Stop FUCKING hitting him! Or I will fucking gut you!" Vicky warned them, even moving towards them to intimidate them, which worked, she looked SO pissed, she messed them up on the serum last time, they couldn't control her, so they took her more seriously. Some guys started to walk up to Vicky and myself with collars, I recognized those! The cutthroat used one on me!

"Hold on! That wasn't the deal" I snapped angrily, tears pooling in my blue eyes, trying not to get distracted by my prisoner brother. They did stop, especially when some gold came to my eyes, they knew Alopex was right around the corner, so they stopped in their tracks. I never want to hurt or kill, but I will to protect my family.

"You shoot us up with red, we're still going to go ape shit on you too. Guaranteed? Even injured, the ninja will get away" I looked at the guys with the dart guns.

"You let him go, and we'll come quietly. That's the deal" Vicky glared at them.

"Don't you dare" Leo warned, he groaned with all the fresh damage done to him, they had a foot on his head and forced the side of his face into the grass and dirt.

"Hush boy scout" Vicky said without so much as looking at him. Her glare and concentration was on the obvious leader of the two groups.

A couple men went from the back of the large, heavily armed group, and made their way to the turtle, one held a gun to him, the other worked on unshackling him and removing the clearly specially made for large, strong mutants like him: Chains. One by one they fell with loud thuds to the ground, Vicky couldn't bring herself to look at him when he was finally free, his eyes would be the end of her.

I knew she was just as scared as me, she literally just got free 3 weeks ago, we didn't know what they'd do to us for escaping, or what they'd do to us, in order to do their bidding. She didn't need someone she cared about so much to ruin her resolve, we were both doing this for him, we agreed, and consented.

"Go Leo"

"I'm not leaving you two" Leo snapped at us, staggering to his feet, even standing he was wobbly and I was getting nervous that maybe my previous statement wouldn’t be true.

"You have to. And you know it. Now go" He was in no condition to fight, and when the man that freed him held up his weapon and got closer, Leo looked down at him with a glare, looking at the TCRI/Cutthroat leader.

"I'll make you regret not killing me" he said darkly. His usually calm blue eyes were a ravaging storm as he stared down these men.

"Don't you dare hurt them" he warned them.

"Move it" one of the armed men snapped, tapping him with the barrel of his gun. I knew he wanted to rip the gun out of his hands and start going ham. But he was weak, and outnumbered. Even with the other turtles, he wouldn't be able to help us, they were all still heavily outnumbered and gunned, didn't know if there was a trap set to get all of us either.

"Go Leo. We'll be ok" I couldn't help some tears that came to my eyes.

"We'll come back for you" He promised, the anger leaving his eyes for a brief moment to look at Vicky who returned the favor finally, and then myself.

"We know you will" we forgot to pay attention to the assailants behind us, two agents worked in unison to snap the collars around our throats, we quickly grabbed them but they were very solid. Their immediate reaction afterwards was to inject us in the neck with something. I couldn't see what mine was, but it was pretty obvious, especially when I saw them give Vicky a dose of something red.

"Kill him"

"Carson wants him alive" a second in command reminded.

"We have what we need. Kill him" A nearby truck opened up, and two mutated porcupines like the one Vicky turned into came out, their eyes full of nothingness as they zeroed in on Leo and began to chase him. The ninja held his arm, and retreated to the woods, almost stumbling at one point.

"Noo!" Vicky and I both screamed as they gave him chase.

"You fuckers!" Vicky snapped. Someone pulled hard on both our chains, and we fell to our knees as I watched Leo make it to the tree line, the porcupines weren't fast, Leo was injured, but clearly his adrenaline was working in his favor. He could lose them, especially with the help of his brothers.

"He'll be ok" I was still worried as hell for him, but the logical part of my mind knew he'd easily outsmart and escaped those creatures. They weren't thinkers, and in an enclosed space they had an advantage, but out in the woods and open spaces? Not so much, the boys could escape.

"Oh. He'll be the least of your worries. Now transform" the snobby leader of the group had a thick English accent.

"I won't if you won't" Vicky snarled.

"If you don't we will have no purpose for you. You'll be disposed of"

"Sounds good to me" Vicky snapped.

"You're going to have to kill me then" I choked out. No, I didn't want to die, but I would much rather die any day than ever be used against my family. Because I knew for a fact that would be the next move of these ass holes.

"We'll see about that. See how long it takes for you to break" the cutthroat that held the chain to my collar, wrapped it around his hand once and gave a rough yank, I felt my body get roughly thrown towards him. There they began to put shackles on my wrists and ankles, more chain was used to link the collar, wrist, and ankle shackles together, with locks. Vicky was given the same exact treatment, and then I was yanked by the neck again, hard enough to make me see spots from the sheer force. My nerves weren't fond of this.

We were both back up on our feet, and getting dragged towards the truck, but not without a fight, both of us were digging our heels in, trying to yank on the chain but whatever beings were controlling us. They weren't just standard men, they had to of been altered like Rasputia, because they were incredibly strong as they hauled us along.

We got thrown into an aftermarket, reinforced bread truck, we were chained to some d rings that were installed into the floor of the vehicle, more locks were used to secure the chain to the d ring, the two handlers sat on the bench inside, and the doors shut behind us. Loud enough to shake the truck.

I don't know how long it's been, at the very minimum a week, I was afraid of this, they must've had a secure lab that the boys were having trouble finding. The room I was locked in by myself was all white, no windows, harsh leds blasting on me constantly, making it difficult to sleep (obviously not the only reason for lack of sleep though).

I was chained to the wall, my wrists, neck and ankles rubbed raw, it hurt so bad to move, I was getting blood every where from it. They gave me just enough food and water to survive, which I ate to get my strength up, but to escape here without any of my powerful new forms? I didn't even trust myself as a turtle even.

I was able to sit on the ground, which is what I typically did, the lowest my shackled hands could go was near my face, they put me in white clothing (which got bloody quickly) but I wore long white stretchy pants that hugged my legs, and a matching long sleeved shirt.

Anytime someone came in through that door, I always flinched, they tried everything to break me, including beatings, electroshock, and even burning me, like the cutthroats.

But they would change out my clothing when it got dirty, and they would clean me up (which was never a nice experience) it was like they were trying to keep me clean for a presentation minus the injuries to my face.

They were completely relentless in my doses of red, and even more relentless in harvesting my blood, I dreaded the fact that I knew what they were using it for. They were making more monsters like Vicky and I.

They were giving me up to 7 doses of red a day, and my body was not taking it well at all, like it wasn't compatible with this form and it was making me incredibly sick. Though I don't think this much would be compatible for any of my forms, sure more body mass but that would only go so far.

I knew Vicky was alive, she was in a cell next to me, I know this because I could hear her screams when they went to torture her too. I knew she hadn't changed, because I heard it many times a day, and then after her screams stopped, I knew I was next, it was mental warfare.

They were definitely doing it on purpose. But they made sure to switch it between which of us went first, it was very sporadic, so we were living in constant suspense.

As for the boys, I always kept them in the back of my mind, especially Raph. Instead of focusing on them coming for me, I focused on all the good memories I've had with them, how much I loved them and my sister.

I didn't really expect to make it out alive at this rate, it is what it is, I was ready for it, wish they didn't make it as slow and painful as they did, oh well. I'm dying for my family and I was ready for that.

I simply stared ahead at the wall on the other side of the roughly 5000 square foot room, don't know why it needed to be so big, even my fox or porcupine form didn't need that. I feel like if I escaped I could use it to my advantage.

But they kept me locked up so tightly, I knew it wasn't an option for me. Not like I was going to get bored, I had people randomly torture me throughout the day, so my anxiety ridden day consisted of the same questions:

What were they going to do today? Shock me? Kill me with the radiation red gave me in massive doses? Burn me again? Beat me? Were they going to find a new torture method? Thankfully, never once in my mind did I think about giving in. it wasn't an option, and it's like my body and mind knew that and just ran with it.

The door opened and I covered my head, closing my eyes, and got myself ready. They always went for my head first, it was the only correlation I had, no matter the torture, and I flinched when the foot steps got close enough.

Sure enough, I felt barbs stab into my skin, going clean through my clothes, and my body completely tightened up, I couldn't even whimper or scream.

Whatever they were getting me with, it was powerful, and extremely painful. They continued this over and over, sometimes letting me recover, I know it wasn't for my benefit. I had no sense of time, but it felt like they proceeded for hours.

A bunch of holes were in my clothes, they were nearly completely shredded up by this point, my body heaved, and I couldn't move for a little longer than normal, like it was completely locking up. The holes that peppered my clothing were charred from the fingers of electricity, and singed. I could smell burning flesh and even hair, which would've made me cough.

I couldn't scream, my lungs like everything else was spasming and locked up tight within every inch of muscle I had. My muscles were insanely sore from the constant constricting, I couldn't even shake at this point.

They finally stopped with the shocks, knelt down, I knew what was next, sure enough, the specialist in torture knelt down, and stabbed a needle in my neck, stuffing me with red. My neck was so tender from getting the same 7 injections a day, in the same spot, 7 days a week.

A winded gasp escaped me. I have no idea how my nerve endings weren't completely fried, my body must be desperately fighting to heal. I heard the man get on whatever comm he had, and demand someone come in and feed me and reclothe me. Why was this their system?

He got up from his kneeling position, and I watched him leave, it took several more minutes before my body could even think about getting back up in a sitting position. I could finally breath properly again, not tiny, panicked gasps that made me light headed.

I began to examine myself, my hands had a sickly dark gray color to my skin, I pulled up my sleeve a bit, realizing that the entirety of my skin looked like that probably. I looked down at where all the holes were left in my clothes, and my legs matched.

Red veins and arteries gave off a slight glow, they pumped me full of so much of this stuff, it was unreal. I put a hand to my head, and gasped when I ran my hand over my hair. Massive clumps of hair began to slide off, delicately hitting the ground.

The radiation was eating me up from the inside out, all my hair was falling out, I choked, it was a bit silly, but I didn't have much left, and this was a "straw that broke the camel's back' type situation. I felt so weak I was surprised I could even sit up, as my breathing was labored.

Another person came in through the door, I knew they were here to feed me and cloth me, but I still couldn't help the flinch and covering my head. Just in case I was wrong, the blows to the head were excruciating and I wasn't about to take the risk.

My body jolted in fear when he slapped the new clothes that were sealed in plastic wrap down next to me. I just remained in my position until the TCRI agent forced my arm out straight, which was excruciating from the punctures and burns, the agent opened the Velcro up that ran along my arm. These clothes were specially made with Velcro strips so they could change me without unshackling me.

It was along both arms, my torso and both legs. Shocking wasn't as messy as burning, so he wasn't about to be cleaning me up at least, since I wasn't bleeding, the wounds were cauterized. I kind of relaxed my body, the quicker he got me dressed, the quicker he'd leave, and less I'd get hit. He finished changing me, and then started forcing me to eat. It was a small peace of bread, and 8 oz of water.

I should be starving, but I think the radiation in my body was making it harder for food to go down, on top of my stomach shrinking a lot from eating so little. The bread was dry to the point of almost ashy in my mouth, it was really hard to swallow, but I managed to get it down.

He made me drink the water so fast, half of it went down my shirt, and I began to choke on the offered sustenance. I was coughing for several minutes, it was to the point where the guy even got up and left, I was still coughing up a storm.

The coughing got worse, and I felt liquid in my mouth, I spit, it was blood, the radiation must be doing more and much more quickly than I thought. But that at least meant I was going to die soon, I wouldn’t have to keep suffering like this, I could finally just let my body rest permanently.

I have to say though, I would absolutely love to cuddle with Raph one last time before I finally left this world behind, but it's ok, I was so happy from all the memories we already made together. They kept me going through this whole mess, I got to tell him I loved him, too, so it's safe to say, I had no loose ends.

#@mysticboombox @thelaundrybitch @selfless1978 @katecupcakekate

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beardedjoel · 9 months

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oh my god I wanna scream. What in the actual fuck!!!!!!

Talk about overreaction Joel?? I knew he was gonna do this and I’m still so mad. He’s so terrified of his feelings, he just ruins it before anything could ever hurt him. He’s gonna have some making up to do eventually. God forbid someone actively chooses you Joel? AAAAH you’re an idiot!!

And then being like “I haven’t heard a peep from you and then you call me a million times” like she’s supposed to run after you??? After you left?? And the way you’re hurting her?? She literally told him she loves him and he just fukcing left 😭😭😭

I wish the fuckboy guy was better so she at least had a good night as a fuck you to Joel lol

Like honestly, right now he doesn’t even deserve her at all?? I wish she would just actually tell him off, like be mad and get your anger out!!!

I hope this isn’t rude but please update soon again because my heart is a bit broken right now 🥺🥺 I love this story 🥺🥺

wheeeew yeah..... this chapter was a doozy for sure (understatement), it took me ages to write everything bc it was so hard to have joel fall off so far from where i'd had him as pretty much this perfect boyfriend so far! i'm so sorry it broke your heart, i know it was a wild ride but i definitely have so much coming for these two so don't worry. honestly i'm just so thankful you're so invested in my story!!! 🥺

#ask #fic: closer

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highqueenofelfhame · 2 years

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fafs, twenty five

WHEEEEW BOY. I am so sorry to have kept you waiting. busy winter all around, and a bit of writer’s block later, and we finally made it. Y’all, this chapter is 6.6k words, and pushed fafs over into 100k total words. I’m so fucking speechless? April is a really bad month for me, my anxiety has been absolutely killing me, but i feel so proud of myself and accomplished right now. maybe it’s the week i’m having, but i’m shedding real author tears over this. hopefully the size of this bad boy makes up for the wait. i promise it won’t be that long ever again. if you read this, and are taking enough time to read this note, thank you. thank you for reading, and for your comments, and for your love of my silly little story that i hope to one day turn into a real book you can hold in your hands. now... on with the show.

CW: i don’t want to give any spoilers but this chapter is for mature audiences for various reasons.

His face.

His stupid, godsdamn face.

Aelin couldn’t remember the last time it had been an effort to pull the swaggering assassin persona up to the surface, but she felt like she was digging through an empty chest in the pit of her stomach. Nothing but cobwebs remained; too much of her soul laid bare for the man that stood in front of her. He would see through her as he so often did, leaving no room for Celaena Sardothien to slip back into her skin.

That was fine. Aelin herself was full of more rage than she’d ever been as Celaena. Her eyes burned with unshed tears begging for a release, but she refused to let them fall. Her life had been nothing but a wheel of betrayal and trauma. Sam had been so rife with ambition he had thrown her under the bus more than once. Aedion, too, if she thought about it for more than a second, but she pushed him from her mind, refusing to let his giving up on her fall into the same cycle. He hadn’t known who she became, and she hadn’t let herself tell him the truth before it was too late, so she couldn’t really place any blame at his feet.

Rowan, though. His betrayal sliced deeper than any wound she had ever received in a fight. It was a gaping, fresh wound in her soul, as jagged and ugly as the one losing Aedion had left behind. Maybe worse because Rowan had seen her for everything she was and still decided she wasn’t good enough, decided she was no more than a criminal that deserved to rot in prison for her crimes. Aelin had told him the truth. The whole messy truth. She erased no part of her story in the version she gave him. Yet it wasn’t enough.

There had been plenty of time for her to turn the events over in her mind. Most days she was tipsy by noon, emotions scorching the back of her throat as much as the liquor. But even that hadn’t dulled the pain that came from her torturously going through a catalog of memories, trying to sort out the moment where Rowan had decided to lure her in with his words and his body for the sole purpose of stabbing her in the back at the right moment. It would have hurt less if he had just used a knife.

Even now, with him standing in front of her, she had to crush the fresh wave of hurt that threatened to consume her. Her cheeks burned red with a drunk flush as she looked him over, eyes silently scanning his body for anywhere he might have hidden weapons. Small knives could be tucked into his pockets and tennis shoes, and a gun would be easily hidden beneath his t-shirt. The open flannel would easily hide any bulk on his hips or back. Even the sling on his shoulder–

She averted her gaze, bleary eyes focusing once again on his godsdamn face. The way he was looking at her pinned her to the chair she slumped against, that painful chasm in her stomach ready to swallow her whole. Rowan’s eyes were scanning her, too, likely to find where else she might have hid another knife to chuck at his head. To silently answer his question, she ran her hand along the arm of the chair to tug another free from its sheath. Aelin pushed the point of the blade into her bare thigh, holding the dagger in place with a single finger.

The pain from the prick sent a rush of blood to her head, dusting off her thoughts enough for her to open her mouth to speak. Rowan, however, beat her to the punch by saying, “Stop it.”

“Stop what, exactly?”

“You’re going to hurt yourself.” Indeed, a quick glance down revealed a tiny bead of blood around the tip of the knife.

“Wouldn’t want me to bleed on the seats of your cruiser, now would we?” The tremor in her voice nearly gave away her emotions, but the sharpness in her tone honed it into anger. To his credit, the man before her didn’t flinch. Merely arched a brow at her until she adjusted her grip on the handle and twirled it between her fingers. “Am I surrounded?”

“I’m alone,” he said, and Aelin couldn’t hold back her snort. She highly doubted he’d been sent to apprehend her on his own with no backup. Not after what happened in the lobby of the bureau that ended with multiple people clutching bleeding wounds, Aelin and Rowan included.

“I don’t believe you, and I won’t be walking out of here to return to a prison cell.”

“I’m alone,” he repeated, leaning against the doorframe, “And I don’t want you to be in prison, either. I’m not here to arrest you.”

“Why are you here, then?” Aelin’s head tilted slightly, a lioness assessing her prey. She hoped it made him uncomfortable for her violent attention to be fixated on him. She pushed the thoughts where she couldn’t hurt him into the back corners of her mind. Maybe if she turned off her brain and emotions, she could fight her way out of this one and flee once again.

“To talk. To explain. To help you—“

“Don’t give me that bullshit,” she hissed, stabbing the dagger into the arm of the chair. She used it as leverage to pull herself up, the wooden floor of the cabin creaking and cool against her bare feet. The lies had fallen from his lips too easily, and it had her grabbing the bottle of whiskey from the coffee table to take a long, burning swig. “You told her everything.”

“Aelin, I don’t know what she said to you, but I never told her anything.”

“She knew everything.” She hated the way her voice tripped up over the last word, saying it out loud, chipping away at her stone-cold exterior she’d been trying to live in lately. Flinging a finger toward the window, Aelin took a few steps toward Rowan. . “She knew about Arobynn and Sam. She knew about my parents. Everything I’ve told you, she knew. Maeve even said–”

“I don’t give a shit what Maeve said!” The outburst surprised her. Even when she had been in prison, Aelin couldn’t remember a time that he had raised his voice at her. “I didn’t tell her a godsdamn thing.”

“You’re the only person who knew aside from Arobynn, and he’s dead. I made sure of that after what he did to you. And you manipulated me into a false sense of security–”

“I told you that I’m in love with you. You think I did that as some elaborate scheme to throw you back in prison? Don’t you think if I was going to rat you out, I would have done it the second you told me everything? Why would I have waited?”

“To get back at me! I lied and betrayed you before–”

“That doesn’t matter anymore. I’m still in love with you, despite everything.”

“Stop saying that.” Aelin was close enough now that it was easy for her to jab a finger at his chest. This close, she was sure he could smell the smoky whiskey on her breath. “Stop lying to me. It’s over.”

“Bullshit, it’s over.” Rowan’s hand closed around her finger, squeezing tight enough that when she tried to jerk away, she didn’t immediately slip free. Aelin jerked again, putting more of her body into the pull, but he moved with her. Nearly chest to chest, she used her other arm to shove him back, but he didn’t budge.

“Let go of me,” she breathed, voice low through clenched teeth. Tears pricked at the corners of her vision and emotion scorched the back of her throat. Again, she jerked her arm and managed to nearly slip out of his grasp. Rowan was too quick, though, tightening his grip on her wrist until it almost hurt.

Every emotion she had been burying at the bottom of various bottles started to bubble to the surface. Every tear she had refused to let fall, every atom of sadness and rage that she had managed to swallow filling her veins, her vision, her lungs.

Aelin wasn’t entirely sure when or how she started swinging her limbs at him in a nearly-blind attempt to cause some sort of harm. One moment she had been tugging away from him, and the next she was crowding him until his back was to the wall while she swung and kicked and he did what he could to deflect every hit. More than once he managed to catch her hands, but her white-hot anger proved to be too much. She landed hit after hit to his chest, one to his jaw, several kicks to his legs.

Someone was screaming in a raw, animalistic way. Someone was sobbing. She didn’t realize that it was her until her throat felt so raw it could have been bleeding from every emotion clawing up her throat.

His mouth was moving, the shape of her name so lovely on his lips that it broke her heart even more. It had been weeks of doing her damndest not to think of him, not even his name, and here he was standing in front of her looking exhausted and rugged and so handsome it only twisted the knife in her heart even more.

“Fuck, Aelin. Stop,” he groaned, a sharpness to his voice that hadn’t been there before. It was enough to give her pause while she scanned his features. Pain was etched across his face, heavy in the wrinkle between his brows as his eyes squeezed shut. Aelin’s hands dropped immediately, one of them sliding down the arm housed in a black sling. The shoulder she had aimed and shot at when she fled the bureau, leaving a hole in his skin that would surely bear a scar for the rest of his life.

And just like that, the anger diminished. Guilt flooded her, clouded her senses as she stumbled away from him. Still, his right hand gripped her fingers and kept her from getting too far away. Aelin didn’t bother trying to tug her hand away. She stood in front of him with her shoulders caved forward, body shaking with grief and guilt. Everything she felt was stripped bare, bleeding and raw before him. An alternate version of the woman she’d been that night on the balcony when she had told him her deepest secrets. When he had held her hand while she wept at her lost life and family, when he hadn’t wavered for even a heartbeat.

“Hey, hey, hey,” his voice anchored her where she stood as he stepped closer, using his thumb to wipe the tears from her cheeks. Aelin was fully trembling now, everywhere from her lips and chin to her fingers and toes. It was nearly impossible to get any amount of air into her lungs. Each breath was short and sharp and not nearly enough. Her gasps choked her between every broken sob. “Aelin. Look at me.”

She tried, but her vision was so cloudy with tears it was hard to focus on his face. Each and every one of his features remained blurry, but she tried. Tried to focus on the feeling of the calluses of his palm against her cheek, of his fingers slipping to twine between strands of golden hair. Aelin didn’t protest, physically or verbally, when he pulled her to his chest and wrapped his good arm around her shoulders. Nor did she try to duck away from his reach when his lips brushed the top of her head and then stayed there to murmur sweet nothings to soothe her.

Maybe she should have been embarrassed at her willingness to melt into him, but it wasn’t anything she could help. The fabric of his t-shirt was so soft beneath her hands as she slid them around his torso, fisting the hem between her fingers at the base of his spine. She did her best to avoid his left arm entirely, but still felt the soft rub of his knuckles against his shoulder while he held her and let her fall apart at his feet. Maybe she should have felt embarrassed, yes, but if she was going to be carted back to prison, she would allow herself to have this last moment with him when she was just Aelin and he was just Rowan.

It had all been a delusion to think any of it could turn out okay. To have believed that he didn’t see her as the hardened criminal that she was, that he had put his training as an FBI agent to the side. Maybe it had been silly to think that they might have had any sort of a relationship in this world or another. But it had been that hope that had her wanting to correct the course of her life and see where they might end up. If he had betrayed her, she couldn’t blame him for it. As deeply as it cut, she couldn’t blame him for doing his job.

But it certainly didn’t feel like he was doing his job as he held her in the living room of the cabin, a fire crackling and humming behind them. His body was a solid weight that she held onto, inhaling his cool pine scent until her breaths evened out and reached the bottom of her lungs. The words he whispered certainly didn’t feel like he was doing it to keep up a ruse; soft murmurs that she refused to let go of. She would hear them echo in her mind until her very last breath, she was sure of it.

A small panic began to bubble to the surface as he pulled back, her eyes wide and wild as she looked up at him with new tears beginning to form. But his gaze was warm and loving, his hands gentle but firm as he ran it up and down her back.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he breathed, and her heart squeezed so tightly it hurt. “Let's get you in bed.”

Bed. It did sound nice; the idea of falling into the mattress and burrowing beneath the blankets with him as if he was going to stay. So she followed him, merely pointing toward the door that was her room when he looked over his shoulder in question. Not once did he let go of her hand. If anything, he gripped it tighter in his.

After closing the bedroom door, Rowan took a brief glance around. It was nothing like her secret apartment in Rifthold. Where that had been all opulence and luxury, this room was one of functionality and necessity - a mattress on nothing more than a bed frame pushed into the far corner. The rumpled sheets were a plain white linen with several ordinary blankets heaped in the center from where she’d crawled out that morning. The only other furniture in the room was a nightstand with a simple lamp and a dim bulb. Even the closet was mostly bare, save for a bag stuffed with first aid supplies and a handful of very boring clothes she had picked from other safe houses along the way to this one.

Rowan guided her to the bed, taking a moment to make sense of the blankets before motioning for her to crawl in. As soon as she settled close to the wall, he joined her, wasting no time in tugging her to his side. His warmth was welcome, what with her body still trembling slightly from the meltdown she’d endured. It may have been the most at peace she had felt in weeks, and she may have hated it just a little. But she rested her head against his chest and shivered when his hand coasted between her shoulder blades.

The weight of the blankets and her soul made her sink further into the mattress, her cheek nuzzling against his t-shirt. She wanted to believe that maybe he needed this just as much as she did. That the physical contact was just as relieving and rewarding for him as it was for her. With hope unfurling in her heart, it didn’t take any time at all for her to drift off into a deep sleep.

~*~

Red and gold flames danced before her, reaching higher in the chimney the more she poked and prodded the wood. Sparks scattered up and vanished, the logs crackling and snapping into ashen pieces with a hard jab of the poker. Aelin was trying to ignore the overwhelming presence of Rowan on the couch behind her. The flames were the only thing that seemed to soothe her aching soul.

The man in question took a deep breath, exhaling with an even heavier sigh. She could hear his fingernail scraping at the scratchy fabric of the couch, and it was enough to set her further on edge. Instead of acknowledging him and putting an end to the pregnant silence, she stabbed at the fire again and smiled to herself at the explosion of sparks.

Aelin knew Rowan well enough to know that the silence wouldn’t last forever. It was just a matter of who was going to break it first. She was sure that he didn’t know where to start, either. They had so much to talk about, starting with their convoluted relationship. But what was there to say, really? Rowan, in some shape or form, had betrayed her. The only person who knew her identity, that knew about her parents, was Rowan. Yet somehow Maeve had made the connection. That was a conversation that needed to be had, but Aelin was uneasy about it. The only way Maeve would know is if Rowan told her. It was enough to make her blood boil.

Rowan cleared his throat, a sound that elicited a deep sigh from Aelin. She finally stood and turned, but didn’t lift her eyes to his. With one arm braced on the stone mantel, she ruffled her fingers through her hair while watching the flames twist and twine together.

The tension in the room was a living, breathing thing. It sucked all the oxygen from the space, straight from her lungs. Looking at him would only make it worse; still, she risked a glance over her shoulder to find his eyes boring holes through her skin. Aelin quickly looked away, settling her gaze back on the roaring fire before her.

“I thought it would help,” Rowan finally said, his voice warm despite the chilly silence that had grown between them. Aelin froze at his words, muscles tense and hands clenched into fists against her thighs as she rose to her feet.

“You thought what would help?” Her voice was cool, calculated, and sharp as the daggers she had hidden all over the cabin. Rowan sighed when she finally faced him, raking his fingers through his hair, and creating a scattered mess with the strands.

“I thought if she knew the truth, it would help. That she would see things differently knowing that you’re Aelin Galathynius. That the case could be dropped because you were tortured and abused and forced to do all the awful things you had to do to survive. I thought we could spin it in a way that would make the press and the world feel for you. The golden girl of Terrasen found at last, after twenty years of suffering abuse. I thought… I thought since she solved your parent’s case that she would want to help.” His voice got thinner and tighter the more he spoke, the muscles of his neck and shoulders tense and straining beneath his t-shirt.

“If you truly believed any of that, you are far more naïve than I ever believed you to be,” she said harshly. The betrayal of it all seeped through her pores and pulsed through her veins. Aelin couldn’t remember the last time she had felt like this. Couldn’t remember the last time she had felt like she was on fire and burning in the pits of her rage. The flames at her back only stoked the heat, prickled at the back of her neck like a thousand fire ant bites.

“I wasn’t–”

“Thinking? Weren’t you, though? When you lulled me into a false sense of security while I was broken and free-falling into a void. You wormed your way into my life, made me believe I could trust you, then you turn around and betray me in the worst way possible. What are you getting out of it, Rowan?”

“Do you think I enjoyed telling her everything? I feel like shit about it, Aelin. I know I broke your trust, but–”

“There are no buts!” Like a banshee, her voice exploded from her chest. Sweat lined her brow as her arms flung out to the sides, as her eyes widened and her heart shattered. “You would gain something from this. Probably a fat ass promotion for catching the infamous Celaena Sardothien and unmasking her true identity in the process. I’m sure you have hard drives stacked with my secrets that only you know.”

“I don’t–” Aelin cut him off with a sharp snort that quickly devolved into manic laughter.

“You and the entire bureau, I suppose. Did you all sit around with that shitty coffee laughing about everything I said? Every word that was nearly a confession that you can use in my trial?” She cocked her head, eyes locked on him. A predator narrowing in on her prey. Even the steps she took toward him were slow and purposeful. Rowan, too trusting it seemed of the woman before him, did little else than adjust his position on the couch. When she was a meter away from him, he finally stood and reached for her.

“Aelin, stop.” There was a commanding tone to his voice, something soothing that she wanted to be wrapped up in. But her skin was still blazing; his confession was pricking at every nerve ending in her body. That white-hot rage was still a rising wave, waiting to crash down on both of them. She had come this far, and she refused to be taken down by something as silly as false hope and a love of lies.

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Something flashed in Rowan’s eyes, and she understood. Even to her, the voice dripping venom from her mouth sounded entirely foreign.

“Listen to me. We’re going to figure this out. I love you too much to let anything happen to you.”

“Say it again,” she said, her voice still strange and disconnected. Her fingers toyed with a small pocket at her thigh, brushed at the dagger hidden inside it.

“I love you.”

It all crashed down.

The lie on his lips sent that wave of fury down hard, sweeping through every part of her body. The rage got the better of her in that moment as her hand palmed the dagger. Her hands took on a mind of their own as she slammed the dagger into his chest until nothing but the hilt was sticking out. Rowan’s eyes widened, mouth opening in a silent ‘o’ from the shock.

And then she really lost touch with her reality. Over and over, she ripped the blade from his body and slammed it back down. Her movements were furious, his blood splattering over the couch, the walls, her skin.

Rowan staggered back, collapsing in a bloody heap on the couch with this chest heaving. Still, she didn’t stop. The warm spray of his blood was familiar, something she had experienced more times than she could count. Death and darkness beckoned her, and she found she couldn’t stop herself from plunging the knife into his body over and over until she knew he was dead, knew his heart had stopped beating, knew his lips would never spill another lie. Blood covered his entire body, soaked the couch and their clothes. His eyes were open and glassy, staring at the ceiling with no light behind them–

Aelin jolted awake with a sharp gasp, tears burning her eyes and falling in silent streams down her cheeks. Every part of her body was shaking furiously as she grappled with what was a nightmare and what was a reality. Each breath she took was shaky and shallow, not hitting the bottom of her lungs as her eyes jumped around the bedroom of the cabin.

The wooden floor was cool and solid beneath her feet. Beneath the closed, and locked, door, the fire emitted a soft orange glow that crept into the room. With the curtains drawn shut, she could see little of the room around her. She heard, more than saw, Rowan rise from the bed and walk around to where she stood with shaking hands and a hollow heart.

“Aelin,” he whispered, his voice warm and lovely wrapped around her name. Trembling, she raised her hands in front of her body. Was it to keep him away or to surrender? Was she signaling to him he needed to stay as far from her as possible, or to show him the bare bones of her soul? “Look at me.”

“I– I– We– I–” With failing words, she looked at his face. Rowan’s eyes locked onto hers while he reached out to carefully drag his fingers down her arms, to her hands. Where her entire body was cold and covered in gooseflesh, his hands were warm when they encompassed hers.

The trembling wouldn’t stop. It was as if she had no control over her body as she shook violently. Each breath was short and quick, sharp, and unfulfilling. Tears dripped off her chin and splashed onto her arms, soaked through the thin t-shirt that hung on her thin frame.

None of it seemed to deter Rowan. Instead of backing away, he only came closer. His hand slid around her neck and pulled her to his chest. At some point, it seemed, he had taken off his sling because she didn’t feel the rough velcro of the strap against her cheek as she nuzzled her face into his chest.

“I’m sorry,” she gasped between loud, broken sobs. “I’m so sorry.”

“Shh, shh, sh.” His hand stroked down her hair over and over for several moments before settling firmly on the back of her head. She forced herself to listen to the loud thump of his heart while she tried and failed to calm her breathing.

Rowan took long, deep breaths, whispering for her to breathe with him. Aelin was lightheaded from hyperventilating, stars pricking at the edge of her vision. To avoid the disorientation, she squeezed her eyes shut and forced her body to follow the guide of his breathing, to concentrate on the thump, thump, thump of his heart. Balling his shirt into her fists, she pulled him as close as she could manage, holding him tightly as though he might slip through her fingers.

“Whatever it was, it was nothing but a nightmare. It wasn’t real. This, Aelin, is real. Me and you. Right here. This is real.”

Real. She knew he meant more than just their bodies. The tenderness in his voice made it obvious. The love between them was real. It had only been a nightmare made up of her deepest fears. He had never betrayed her, he’d never told anyone her secrets. There was a loyalty between them that was almost blind; their love was almost to a fault. But it was real. Real as the cold wood beneath her feet, real as the fire in the sitting room, real as the ache she felt in her bones.

“I’m sorry,” she said again. Tears still fell down her face and left blotches on his white shirt. His chin rest on top of her head as he rubbed his hand in circles over the center of her back.

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

“I killed you in my dream,” she sobbed, rubbing her face into his chest.

Rowan was quiet for a moment, though he never stilled the comforting motions of his hand. After several beats of his heart, he asked, “Did I deserve it?”

“A little.” To her surprise, a soft laugh bubbled in her chest and poured from her lips. Golden hair caught in his five-o’clock shadow as his lips spread into a smile.

“Then I forgive you.” It was too easy, the banter. Being comforted by him. Loving him. It was overwhelming and all-consuming, and despite the situation, despite the nightmare, Aelin could have stood wrapped in his arms like that forever.

But she couldn’t. They had much to talk about, but not while the moon was still so high in the sky with a soft pitter-patter of rain beginning to tap at the windows. Now was a time for rest. Aelin didn’t object when Rowan pulled away and led her back to the bed in the center of the room, carefully tucking her into the blankets before crawling in beside her. She was quick to snuggle into his side, to rest her head on his chest and begin to count his heartbeats.

It was the lullaby of having him so close that gently rocked her to sleep.

~*~

This time when she woke, soft light was creeping through the cracks of the curtains. The rain had gone as quickly as it came, leaving a silence that was only achieved in the middle of a forest. It was peaceful and serene.

And warm. She was so warm she was sweating where a heavy arm lay draped over her side. At some point in the night, her t-shirt had risen up. Skin against skin, keeping her warm and safe even in sleep.

She wanted to believe that he hadn’t betrayed her, but a thousand questions still tore through her mind like a hurricane. They had much to talk about, yes, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t enjoy this moment while it lasted.

Much to her dismay, it ended much quicker than she would have liked. Ten minutes after she’d woken up, Rowan began to stir, too. His arm tightened around her for a brief moment as he let out a deep sigh, then removed himself from her and shifted. Aelin rolled over then, still laying with her hands tucked beneath her head. He was sitting now, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and stretching his legs.

“I didn’t expect you to be here when I woke up,” she said, breaking the silence with a whisper. She truthfully hadn’t. After everything… why would he stay? She had made more than one attempt to push him away, starting with yelling at him in the bureau lobby and shooting him in the shoulder. Yet he’d come back. He had found her when no one else had truly bothered to try. Sure, there was probably a low key manhunt going on at the FBI, because she doubted that Maeve would want it to get out that she lost the world’s most notorious assassin. But Rowan had stayed.

There were no handcuffs keeping her chained until backup could come. There was no sign of him even having brought a gun with him. Her anklet had yet to make another appearance, and she hadn’t seen his cell phone since he’d arrived. All signs that he wasn’t here to take her away, and that he didn’t want to be found by anyone else, either.

“I keep trying to show you that I’m not going anywhere. When are you going to start believing me?” The words clanged through her like a bell, her lips parting on a sharp inhale. Hurt flashed in his eyes as he rustled his fingers through his messy hair. “I don’t know what else I can do, Aelin.”

Rowan’s gaze was fixed on his hands in his lap, fingers picking at a stray thread. That deep wrinkle appeared between his brows and she hated that she was the one that put it there more often than not.

She sat up, blankets bunching around her waist as she reached for his hand. It was hard not to sigh when he turned his palm over for her to slide her fingers through his and her heart skipped several beats when he finally looked at her.

Aelin crawled into his lap, careful not to jostle his wounded arm too much. His fingers brushed against her side, against the cotton of her shirt. The calluses caught on the fabric that he gripped into a loose fist, but she understood. Sliding forward until she was as close as she could be, Aelin rested her hands on the sides of his neck.

Neither of them said anything as a thick tension settled over the room, filling every gap until it was nearly overwhelming. There was a slight tremor to her hands as she brushed her thumbs along the strong, chiseled line of his jaw. His other hand was on her side, sliding around to her back, and she shivered at the way he was touching her. The way she would have let him touch her for the rest of his life if there wasn’t a chopping block awaiting her in the center of the city.

“Rowan,” she whispered, her breath fanning over his face. His green eyes shifted from her mouth up to her heavy lidded gaze. With her heart thundering in her chest, she was aching to whisper the words that she’d never uttered to anyone else in her life. Not even Sam.

“Fireheart.” There was tension in his voice, tension like he was trying to hold himself back. Whether because it was a test of his self-control or because he physically had to for the sake of the gunshot wound he’d suffered to his shoulder. By her own hand. She would never forgive herself for that.

Aelin leaned down, her lips pressing against the scarred flesh. It was soft, barely a whisper, barely a breeze of wind against his skin. Rowan’s exhale was shaky and his fingers flexed against her back. That kiss was an apology in itself, one she would make over and over until he was certain it would never happen again.

When she pulled back, her thumb traced over his lips, and she leaned forward to kiss him. It was a kiss that, if they weren’t existing in a world where what they had was a ticking time bomb, it would have be full of a million promises. Promises of tomorrow, of waking up tangled together, of shiny stones and golden bands. Promises of a house with the soft thump of tiny feet running through the hallways.

It was a future that she had never allowed herself to even dream. That had never been in the cards for her since everything avalanched when she was a child, but gods above did she want it. Just for today, she decided, she would pretend that they could have those things.

Tomorrow she would worry about the bureau, her trial, the cell that awaited her until she rotted to nothing inside and out. But today…

Knowing all of this, knowing what awaited them, she pulled back and whispered the words she should have that day they’d spent in her bed weeks ago after his rescue.

“I love you, Rowan. I love you so much, I can’t– ” but she was cut off with a searing kiss that she felt in every atom of her body. It felt like coming home, because in a way, she was. Rowan was home to her. It didn’t matter what happened, or where they were, he was home.

The kiss was all consuming, stole the breath straight from her lungs until she was gasping. Aelin had never been kissed quite like this, with so much hunger and desperation that it felt as though they might die if they stopped. Yet it was still so tender like he thought she would disappear at any moment. But she wouldn’t. Nor would he. And it seemed they were both ready to burn until nothing else remained.

“I love you,” he breathed, pulling back to search her face. Aelin merely nodded leaning back for another kiss, but he stopped her with his thumb on her chin. “I need you to hear me, Aelin. I’m not going anywhere. You can’t push me away. Whatever happens from here on out, we deal with it together.”

“Okay.” It felt like a weak response, nowhere near the words she wanted to say back to him, but they all remained in a knot in her throat. Tears stung her eyes, reflected in his as well. They were mirrors, she realized. One soul separated into two bodies. The truth of it broke and healed her all at once.

“I love you,” he said again. “To whatever end.”

“To whatever end,” she promised, and he finally let her capture his lips in another kiss that set her whole body on fire.

Aelin wasn’t sure when or how their clothes were shed, it happened so quickly all of it was a blur. The only thing she could see was him, the only thing she could feel was his hands roaming her skin, the hardness of him pushing between her thighs. When she first lowered herself onto him, it overwhelmed and consumed her in the best of ways. His attention remained on her face, even when her eyes fell shut at the sheer size of him, how hot she felt all over with desire and need.

Because she did need this. They both did, evident in the way his hands trembled against her body everywhere he touched. Her thumb swept over his damp cheek blindly, realizing that this was leaving him just as raw as it was her. Everything was laid bare before them, and though they had so much to talk about, so many things to uncover…

None of it mattered. The sole thing in this moment was him, was the way he felt sliding in and out of her as she rode him with her hands tugging on the ends of his hair. The closer she got to her climax, the more breathless she got, the harder her heart pounded against his chest. He had his arms wrapped around her so tightly that there wasn’t a part of them not touching.

“Rowan, I–” she couldn’t get the rest of her words out of her mouth as she tumbled over the edge with him chasing close behind her. Their foreheads were pressed together as they rode it out with jumbled words falling from their lips.

It took what felt like an eternity to come down from it. Not just the sex, but the emotional upheaval they were both experiencing. She stayed atop him, not wanting to be separated in any way, until both of their breathing evened out and his grip on her body loosened. Still, his hands shook where he touched her, tilting her head back with his fingers at her jaw to look into her eyes, her soul.

“I love you.” She would never tire of those words from his lips.

“To whatever end,” she promised, her lips falling back down to his.

It was the first time that she could truly imagine what her life might be like, had she been normal. Had she been anyone else in the world, with nothing but silly skeletons in her closet.

But she wasn’t anyone else. She was Celaena Sardothien, and she was Aelin Ashryver Galathynius. And it was only a matter of time before everything caught up to her and brought everything tumbling to the ground.

p.s.: big thanks to @punkassbookjockey26 for being the best editor ever, and bouncing ideas with me. and a huge thanks to @westofmoon and @shyvioletcat for always being around when i get stuck. this story (and my life) would suck without you.

#fafs #far away from sane #fafs25 #fafs 25 #rowaelin #rowaelin fic #tog fic #tog fanfiction #throne of glass #throne of glass fanfiction #rowaelin fanfiction #my writing #pls let me know your thought #i want all the keyboard smashes and screamin #pls reblog xoxo

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the-magicians-blue · 3 years

Text

STARISH Headcannons

I was so serious when I said I was doing headcannons of these boys. Please just let me vibe for two seconds you’ll love it I promise.

Ittoki Otoya

SWEET BABY

Honestly has never dated anyone in his LIFE you are definitely his first real crush

Aside from guitar he somewhat knows the drums

He loves performing for crowds but gets super shy when its just you (but he loves to sing for you)

He wants to give off a bad boy persona but his fluffy personality just won’t let him 😭

That’s why he gets super jealous when Tokiya and Ren hang around you. He feels like he just can’t compete with them

When y’all are dating he loves going on small dates to the park for ice cream or crepes

Almost cries every time you write a song just for him??? it just makes him feel so loves that you thought about him enough to write him a song???

You want kids? Great he loves kids and wants like 4

Ichinose Tokiya

DADDY

*ehem* sorry

He’s dated before but it never lasted long

Not that he’s a bad person he just never really found interest in anyone until he met you. All of his previous relationships was just him not wanting to break someone’s heart

IS NOT afraid to get up close to you (secretly he finds how flustered you get cute)

Very protective when y’all get together, none of his members are allowed to be alone with you (mainly because he knows they liked you too)

Gets petty about it too. Grabs your hand and drags you off when he feels like the boys are taking too much of your attention

They called him out for being jealous and he just goes:

“Of course I’m jealous, y/n pretty eyes are only for me to look into.”

HHHNNNNNNNGHEJBDJDBEBSKSH🥴🥴

I love him

Hijirikawa Masato

He’s the Tamaki Amajiki of the group just with a little less anxiety

His feelings are so strong for you but he just can’t seem to tell you without panicking (but it’s usually hidden behind his serious personality)

When you write songs for him he immediately takes the time to have the song memorized that day. He see’s performing your music as an honor and takes it VERY seriously

Currently is learning viola from Nastuki, he wants to broadened his skills

When dating you he’s so shy 🥺🥺🥺

He doesn’t like PDA but if you wanna hold his hand he’ll let you, he just prefers being in private so he can dote on you without getting teased

He writes his own songs as well and they’re usually dedicated to you

He plays them whenever you’re sad or just to remind you that he loves you

Jinguji Ren

WHEEEEW 🥵

This man is Sexy and HE KNOWS IT

I mean he plays the saxophone you can’t get any sexier

Unlike Tokiya he makes it known that he loves how flustered you get around him

Has had a partner or two in his past. You’d think he’d have more seeing how he always has girls chasing after him but he never dates someone unless he’s actually interested

And he’s very interested in you. You seem to be one of the few people who can really get him and he can tell by how much the song you write for him sound like, him

He loves spoiling you. Fancy dinners, new clothes, random trips out of town

If the band has to go out of town for their schedule best believe he’s requesting that you’re brought along

And if they say no he’ll just book you a room in the hotel they’re in >:3

Shinomiya Nastuki

SUNSHINE BABY

He is what I refer to as a single skill himbo: he’s really smart when it comes to music but any other time he’s only got two brain cells and one is taking a nap

Loves to make food you though it rarely ever gets to you (Syo usually gets forced to test it and tosses it before it ever gets to you)

His favorite dates are the ones where you go to his favorite cafe (piyo-chan themed of course)

He loves dressing you up in cute outfits. He has tons of pictures of you in said outfits

He disappears often so you and Syo try to keep an eye on him at all times. On times where he does disappear he also comes back with sheet music or some kind of snack for you to try (whether he made it or not is always a mystery until you try it)

Despite his carefree nature he actually worries a lot, both about you and his band mates

He sees the boys as his brothers so he’s always checking up on them

And of course you’re the love of his life, he wants to make sure you’re always able to smile

Kusuru Syo

You are the only person allowed to call him cute anyone else gets fought.

He’s insucure anout his height but since you started dating he’s been getting over it. If you like his height then why shouldn’t he?

He actually likes that your closer in height. Stealing kisses is so much easier that way (even if you’re taller than him. He finds it cute how flustered you look when he randomly dips you to kiss you)

Let’s you borrow his hats if you ever wanna wear them

You’re also his partner when he practices scripts. You really help him get into character especially for love scenes

He doesn’t admit but when he does the actual recording he pretends the actor is you

His favorite kind of dates is watching movies at his place. Not only is it prime cuddling conditions but it also help him with the acting his does outside of being in STARISH

You two are basically Nastuki’s parents (even though he’s taller than both of you)

Aijima Cecil

He’s a bit akward at first. He’s kinda of just use to doing whatever he wanted at home so getting accustomed to japan takes a little time

Still has a deep love for cats and they have a knack for appearing out of seemingly nowhere

When you’re dating he teaches you his native tongue so whenever he wants to say something slick he speaks to you in his language

Yes some of the boys have caught on and demand that one of you translate which you both refuse

Sometimes he can be quite childish, fussing when he can’t spend time with you or if you get assigned to write a song for another artist (he’s not as upset if its one of his band members)

If the band ever gets enough free time he wants to take you home to meet his parents. He hasn’t seen them in years and he really wants them to meet his future queen

He’s lowkey been planning y’all wedding since he met 🥴

He loves your music and considers it touched by the gods, sometimes even referring to you as a goddess in his eyes

#Aster’s rando hcs #utapri headcannons #utapuri #uta no prince sama #uta no prince sama headcannons #ren jinguji #cecil aijima #nastuki shinomiya #syo kusuru #otoya ittoki #tokiya ichinose #masato hijirikawa #utapri x reader

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tomorrowsdrama · 3 years

Text

Xiao Qi always gives Awu her space, but he’s also always the first one to reach out across the distance to Awu.

Awu is understandably heartbroken after learning that her dad lied to her and sold her out to Xiao Qi like a cheap pimp and asks to be alone. I love that Xiao Qi, like always, does not make a fuss or tries to push his feelings onto Awu and instead decides to patiently wait for Awu outside.

But then Awu calls out Xiao Qi’s name and all it takes is one look at her face and he rushes over to embrace her. And she so naturally wraps her arms around him and buries her face into his chest as if they’ve done this a million times and I CAN’T HANDLE IT.

And then, and then! He crouches down so that they are eye level with each other and wipes her tears with his rough war-worn hand while calling her his princess and ahhh, it is not an exaggeration to say that I have died and gone to fangirl heaven.

Then, to make sure that I am truly well and dead, he goes and gently lifts her chin with his finger and says THAT. And the way they’re both completely engulfed in each others’ arms! Wheeeew, I’m sorry Wolf Boy, but a new general has taken over your spot as the number 1 hottie.

#monarch industry #rebel princess #zhou yi wei #zhang ziyi

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joshstambourine · 3 years

Text

Guitarfingers’ Ship Ask

Hello hello @guitarfingers , my sweet non-binary darling! I’m sorry this took me so long to get to! I really hope you like it!

For your friend-ship...

I think Josh and you would make pretty good friends...

✨ CRACK HEADS ✨

Crack head friends are the best kind of friends tbh

I can only imagine all the dumb shit you’d get up to.

NOT TO MENTION ALL THE DUMB SHIT WHILE YOU’RE BAKED

“...(Y/N)... I have to ask you something?”

Josh would look at you serious faced, “...If a bear opened a restaurant... would be be called Bear Essentials or The Goldilocks Buffet?”

“...OR WHAT ABOUT BOTH?! And they only serve honey and bear claws!” *high fives all around, though you both wish this was a real thing*

I feel like despite you being a bit more of an introvert, Josh would have found a way to get you out of your shell and laughing rather quickly.

A super power of his I think.

The ability to fill open air until everyone is laughing.

I really in my heart of hearts think Josh is a cat person ---

and to be frank probably all of your cats would take to him.

All four of them just surrounding him any time he stops by.

“I just don’t get it--- all of you little hellions act like I carry catnip on me or something.”

He Just Might

Calls them hellions while rubbing cheek to cheek with them

He also exudes the “will call cats little bastards when they won’t love him” energy.

Texts only filled with cat memes and cute cat vids.

Walks with Josh... I feel like they are both super inciteful and you’d probably learn lots but... he’d probably follow up every smart thing he teaches you with something silly.

“Did you know that tulips at one time were more valuable than gold? Really, I’m serious! During the 1600′s they were worth more than gold and so that time period became called Tulip Mania--- which I find kinda shocking just knowing how many flower beds filled with them I’ve utterly destroyed after a bender.”

I picture so much sitting on the couch just staring at the ceiling while you listen to your records, it seems like nothing but that’s probably Josh’s favourite time spent with you.

When he notices that his brother has a crush on you... or is outright told that he does---- Josh would probably tell you immediately since he has no chill, he’s gotta gab.

“Sooooo Sam is totally into you. I don’t know if you’ve noticed.”

“Uhhhhhhh.... are you allowed to be telling me that?”

“He didn’t say I couldn’t so it’s his fault if he didn’t want me to. He knows nothing is secret between us.”

“That’s... yeah I guess he really should have known better.”

“IT WAS IMPLIED JOSH. IT WAS IMPLIED.”

All in all... yall be wild cat and music lovers together~~

For your romantic ship...

I gave it a lot of thought and I ship you with Sam

Babe.

I already made this joke.

But I'll be damned if I don't make it again--

✨ CRACK HEADS ✨

I feel like the two of you would be such a freaking fun couple!

Loud music always going in the house

Random dancing together whenever the mood spurs you both

Hear me out----

SAM DANCING WITH A CAT IN HIS ARMS. BABE I CAN’T.

Though lets be real that cat is probably just batting at his hair the whole time.

“What are you doing to that cat....?”

“Don’t be mad.... I made him a hat.”

*insert grumpy cat*

Cozy times while he just diddles with your guitars and asks to jam out constantly.

“Wheeeew what a sexy sounding set of chords!! I’ll never be able to get over how good you are with a guitar~”

Hopefully you didn’t like going on walks on your own because you wont be walking on your own anymore. Sam would love walking with you so much!

Honestly he wouldn’t care if you still kept your headset on he just would enjoy the time spent with both you and nature

and also he really wants to keep you safe

He’d just swing your conjoined hands back and forth with a super warm smile with his sunglasses on.

If you asked him what he was thinking about during these quiet blissful times, you’d probably get an amusing answer

*head empty*

I genuinely love the idea of the two of you getting ready for to go out or something and him just tapping you on the shoulder,

“Allow me~”

And finishes doing up the rest of the buttons on your shirt with the biggest grin, and then proceeds to give you the softest forehead kiss!

NOT HIM BUYING YOU MORE FUN BUTTON UPS AND GIVING YOU SOME OF HIS.

Now to be real.

I feel like he at first would have been nervous to ask you out or get closer to you in a friend sense --- not just in the obvious sense.

Seeing as you’re a non-binary person, I’m sure you get a lot of... less than great things said you or just uneducated things. He just wouldn’t want to add to them.

Sam would really want to educate himself on the topic and chat with Josh about it to see how the best way to broach it would be.

Which as we all know led to Josh just telling you anyways buuuuuut---

Sam would love you for you. All of you. The person he can get stoned with.

And the person he can listen to records with while being wrapped in blankets at 3 am~

//Thaaaats all my dear! Hopefully you like it! This is the first thing I’ve worked on since my hiatus so hopefully it doesn’t show how damn rusty I am. Anyways! I will be continuing to try and empty my ask box this week and get on to bigger and better things.//

#greta van fleet imagine #Greta Van Fleet #greta van fleet imagines #greta van fleet fan fiction #greta van fleet ship #ally does ships #ally rambles #josh kiszka #josh gvf #sam kiszka #sam gvf #josh kiszka x reader #sam kiszka x reader

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elias-veturius-laia-of-serra · 3 years

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A Sky Beyond The Storm: SPOILERY Review

*!!BEWARE!! A Sky Beyond The Storm Spoilers below. And it’s not just a little of them. It is FULL BLOWN COMPLETE SPOILERS! SO BEWARE! DO NOT READ THIS REVIEW IF YOU HAVEN’T READ A SKY BEYOND THE STORM!*

[CAUTION] This is all my opinion so please don’t leave anything negative. Or send hate or think this is a welcome post to start arguing. I’m only posting this cause sadly my friends have not finished the book yet and it’s been five days since I’ve finished and I have yet to be able to explore how I fully feel about the book. Thankfully writing this tired me out and completely reflected everything I feel! It was the perfect outlet! I also wrote it all in one go just pouring all my emotions out so if the grammar is bad or some things don’t make sense. I’m sorry! I’ll be sure to edit this at some point ❤️

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Wow.

Five years. I had stuck to this series for five years and it’s always given me love, heartache, pain, loss, but most importantly hope.

I want to start off by talking about how happy I was with how Laia’s arc was handled. Usually when you have a “weak” and frightened protagonist their growth is mainly focused on how quick they can shed that image and because something else entirely. How they can become an ultra badass that is able to hack and slice through their enemies and become this killer warrior machine, but Laia Of Serra is not a killer. And that’s been reiterated throughout the books. She feels too much, cares too much, and loves too much. She mourns the for any lives lost even if it is the enemy. She hates taking lives cause she sees no reason to take one even if it is for the greater good. As shown in Torch and Sky, She cries after she accidentally that man. She’s wrecked with guilt when she accidentally kills that jinn. At the people who fall during this war. Laia Of Serra isn’t a killer. She’s hope. She’s love. She’s understanding. And many people do see that as weakness but I love that Laia is able to harness these emotions that make her human as use it as strength. That at the end of the day she isn’t a badass savage girl who lost everything and is out for blood. She’s still just Laia and I wouldn’t have it any other way! Being a big emotional scaredy cat I am I’ve never been able to relate to the big badass skilled warriors that can take down armies of men. I wish to be like them but the reality is I’m not. So I never thought I could see myself being a hero or doing any good if the time for me to be one ever came, but Laia really conveys that strength is more than just being able to shed blood and kill people. That it’s okay to cry, to be scared, to feel sad, and be insecure. Brown girls are always so used to being silenced and taught to behave in order to survive. That’s been our story for a long time but Laia was able to turn our meekness, our fragility, our fear, and our insecurities into something strong. Into something that moves her forward, that taught her how to fight, and that ultimately makes her victorious. The Her final scene with the Nightbringer was beautiful and utterly heartbreaking.

Which brings me to the Nightbringer. I used to hate him so much unable to understand him. I found his anger equivalent to that of an edgy teen that got told “No” too many times. But despite his cruelty book 4 really opened my eyes. Despite all the deaths and rage Sabaa has managed to also convey all his loneliness, his sadness, his hopelessness, his loss, and how all this pain had driven him to believe this was the only way he’d be able to be at peace. To get rid of the world that had been so cold to him. To get rid of a world that made him feel unaccepted and had taken away everything that mattered to him until all he had left was the broken pieces of himself with no one there to help him pick them up. I loved the Nightbringer here. I learned to respect him so much. He’s carried so much pain and loneliness for thousands of years in hopes to gain back what he has lost. I was finally able to sympathize with him and much like Laia - I didn’t hate him anymore. Couldn’t hate him. Of course what he did was wrong but it’s hard to wish more unfortunate things upon someone whose whole life has been nothing but misfortune. I loved his story with Rehmat. Their love though mentioned briefly was a beautiful thing and I found I wanted nothing more than him to be able to be with her again and to be able to feel that love again. I used to cringe and loathe the idea of Nightbringer and Laia being romantic but this book opened my eyes into seeing that that isn’t it at all. I mean yes he is in love with her but that’s just the kind of person he is. He loves. He’s the beloved. He has many loves. As his queen once said, he loves too much. So it isn’t about sparkly forbidden romance. It’s the fact that Meherya had love for all things and to be betrayed because of it had hardened his heart. Laia knows what this feels like. So to see her hold him and tell him it’s okay. That his feelings are valid and the world turned it’s back on him first, but he can’t blame all life for that. That she knows deep within him he still loves, he still hopes, and he must hold onto that. Skies, nearly made me cry. Then by the end when he is able to tell her goodbye with a hand to her cheek and she knows despite everything he still loves her - I nearly started bawling. Because he truly is the beloved and he did not deserve all those who took his love then basically spat in his face. I was happy to finally see him be able to reunite with Rehmat. His one true love and his only queen. Cause I know through her and finally leaving this world - he will be able to finally be at peace.

Now onto the next character. Elias. WHEEEEW! He was as cold as Sabaa promised. So distant and stoic. Reading about him through Laia’s P.O.V. was so heartbreaking. Yet reading through his was ALMOST worse. Where as Laia can’t find her Elias we are able to see little cracks of it. He still looks at her for too long. Lingers at the thought of her for too long. His heart beats faster when she is around when it shouldn’t. He remembers things he shouldn’t. Being around her is too hard because she is everything he had originally fought for. Inner Elias still sees her as his home and his freedom. However his cold demeanor was nearly too much for me! I even almost contemplated unstanning my favorite OTP in the world when he left her to the jinn. Though I think a lot of that mainly has to do with the fact cause we see how much he loves her. He’s risked so much for her so to see him abandon her was like a slap in the face and truly showed how much he has changed, but thankfully there was hundreds of pages left for him to make up for it. And of course in an Elias fashion he did. When the nightbringer had her captive he couldn’t get himself to leave her again. When he saw Laia scratched up after falling into a river and his thoughts immediately thought of ways to defeat this river (I cackled). When he told her he wouldn’t be able to help if she were to get in trouble trying to steal the Nightbringer’s scythe and yet he came in seconds the moment she called to him cause nothing else mattered as soon as he heard her voice. When Elias realized Mauth had completely weakened his first reaction was to run to Laia and while she had been frozen haunted by realizing what she had done it was Elias who ran in front of the storm to get her away from it and nearly sacrificing his life in order to keep her safe. I mean HOW CAN I NOT FORGIVE HIM AFTER ALL THAT!? I couldn’t stop the emotions running through when he was able to finally meet his father. When he was able to see the life he could’ve had if war and pain hadn’t tainted it. Then his final strive to live. Him fully coming back as Elias Veturius and chanting Always Victorious to come back to the world of the living. It was everything! Elias has been a death magnet throughout this series. His whole has made his hands drenched in blood and making him live a life so dirty that he believes at many moments is a life that isn’t worth living anymore. That he’s too damaged. Too callous. Too tainted to be considered worthy of anything, but in the end when the time came he pushed to life. He fought to be more than his mistakes. To be more than a symbol of death. He chose to live.

I will continue with the characters but here’s a short break to speak about my most prized possession: Elaia. So I already explained a good chunk in Elias’s snippet, but we ALL know they need their own portion for one to get their feelings out more clearly. Elias and Laia’s love as usual isn’t easy and broke me time and time again. One minute my heart flutters and I’m on the edge of my seat in hope and then the next it’s like I get a bucket of cold water dumped over my head. Their relationship was especially rough in the beginning. Elias pulled away consistently and though watching Laia try her hardest to break through was admirable it hurt all the more every time it failed. Yet even through all the hurt my heart still fluttered. The way she purposely said things, or did certain things, in order to get a rise out of him was such a delight to watch. Elias and his rocks ended with both Laia and I sad but I still can’t help how wholesome it felt to see them banter. Laia sitting on the boulder in the middle of his “workout”, him casually hoisting her over his shoulder, putting her down, and just to have her spring back up and follow him to continue the conversation. Who knew seeing two people talk about pets could get a giggle out of me. The last three hundred pages I’d say are the best. Cause this is when the Soul Catcher slowly begins to soften up. He lets himself care about Laia more. Lets himself get lost in her more. I had to put the book down after the mango scene just to catch my breath! I won’t lie and pretend I didn’t enjoy all the steamy scenes. I did and nearly fainted at every single one of them, but it was the soft moments between Soul Catcher and Laia that stood out the most. When she was sad and he’d hold her, the way he was so attached to the armlet that thought that he had lost it made him tear his cabin apart, when he went to find her to tell her to leave the waiting place but couldn’t help but stare at her instead, telling her he prefers being called Elias from her, still putting her first then then disguising it saying he is only doing it for his duty to the ghosts, and the way the old him springs up constantly whenever she’s around. Every little detail was a hit to the heart! Especially Laia telling Elias that he had no right to dictate her emotions. He has no right to tell her how to fell. She loves him and she finds him worthy of it and he cannot take that away. He can’t make her stop loving him. It was everything to see her always declaring how much she loved him seeing as she never got to at the end of Reaper. And now she won’t let him stop hearing it. Won’t let him not know it or forget it. Even their sex scene felt more than just steamy smut. It was so wholesome as they laughed together for the first time in a long time, the way he saw her as perfect, and by the end of it to have Laia speak about how she wanted everything with him forever. It made their ending all the more sweeter. I had made so many jokes before SKY about them finally being able to do it, about them practically being married, the wooden armlet being an engagement ring, and them being endgame and hoping that at least one of these would come true. Little did I know every single one would. Little did I know that the ending I have been hoping for but was 99% sure I’d never get was exactly what I’d get and more. Sabaa Tahir has truly spoiled me and I don’t deserve it but I will thank her a million times for it!

Next Character: Helene. Oh boy. Unpopular opinion but I had a strong dislike for Helene for a long time. I thank Sabaa for giving her a P.O.V. though. Cause without it all I and many others would see is colonizer and oppressor. Evil. Wrong. Wicked. I hated Helene in the first book. Tolerated her in the second. Found her likeable in the third. Then ultimately fell in love with her in the fourth. I found book 4 Helene to be the very best Helene she could be. Her finally letting her emotions break through is what ended up captivating me. Her scene as she slayed Karkauns all the while crying gave me chills in REAPER. THAT to me was strength . THAT was what reminded me as badass as Helene is she’s still human. She falters, she makes mistakes, she cries, she wins, she loses, and it isn’t power that ultimately drives her. For her too it is love. Love for family, love for friends, and love for her people. Her friendship with Laia made my heart bloom. I wish we could’ve had more of it! I also wish we could’ve seen it develop more but I also understand that this is the last book and I’d rather spend it seeing two queens getting along then bicker like they had been in the last three books. I loved watching them tease each other, them grin while talking about blasted men, Helene feeling like she can stand taller when Laia compliments her, and Laia ultimately being the first scholar to hail her as Empress. And all her fighting scenes!? BEST FIGHTING SCENES I’VE EVER READ! Helene is ruthless, she is brutal, she isn’t afraid to be stained in blood, and will defeat anyone in her way. I found myself so excited in my reread when I saw I was approaching those scenes. She is flawless in battle and I found myself completely entrapped by her. Slicing off heads, arms, and striding into every battle with her head held high. I was about ready to fight Harper to let her be with me instead! Her P.O.V.s had actually been my least favorite through book 2 and 3. Book 4 made me so happy that I got to go from chapter to chapter like: Oh yay! Laia! Oh yay Elias! Oh yay! Helene! I was able to be excited throughout the whole thing knowing each character was going to give me something good! Also I found her a lot funnier this time around! And Lord knows how I love my women bossy, sarcastic, and blunt. I know a lot of people are angry about her ending. I was deeply saddened by it too. I used to think as a colonizer serves her right to lose everything! Why should I feel bad when she’s scoffed at the lives of the scholars and shrugged her shoulders at slavery for the longest time but of course that ended up biting me in the ass. I understand Sabaa’s reasoning. Helene has took for the longest time. So now it has come full circle for her to experience what that feels like for the other side. All those scholars who too lost a sister, brother, mother, father, and lover that she took away without a second glance when oppressing them. I loved that Sabaa protrays it in a way that before as someone who despised her, I can’t even be happy about it. Instead I am empty. Lost. Hurt. It shows all the more how useless war and vengeance is. We think more deaths and kills will make us feel better. It does not. Instead I found myself days later still haunted by what happened between her and Avitas. And now I wish nothing more but Helene to find happiness. To have more days laughing with Laia and reluctantly letting her braid her hair and dress her up. More teasing and reminiscing between her and her once best friend, Elias. And possibly something new and exciting and fulfilling with Musa. (Which I will touch on in it’s own paragraph haha)

Next: Avitas. Hmmm. Here’s the thing. I don’t hate Avitas. His moments with the shrike were meaningful and his presence is what ultimately led to breaking through her hard exterior. He taught Helene how to be just a girl again. How to feel without being weak. How love can be strength. I loved that he was able to bring out a more vulnerable side of her and show to her that it wasn’t a weakness. Every part of her is strong. Every part of her is beautiful. Every part of her he loves. That moment especially when she declares herself as broken and his eyes are wet with tears feeling for her. That he tells her being broken cannot stop her. It just makes her all the more of a force to reckon with. He was exactly what Helene needed in this time of war. Exactly what she needed to stay tethered to the world and faithful to herself. Sadly however I couldn’t get myself to connect with him. He was so reserved, so quiet, and so serious most of the time. It was hard to gather much from him. The little cracks of his demeanor whenever he was around Helene helped soften me. His fierce loyalty to her alone and understanding that a girl like her doesn’t need protection. She can very well take care of herself but it wasn’t about that. He just loved her too much to ever stop worrying. It ached something fierce within me. His death also haunted me for days and still does. Though I think it did hurt a little less cause I wasn’t attached to him. It was hard to considering how little I feel I still know about him and his thoughts and feelings. Plus his final scene with Elias at the waiting place brought me peace. He died for the person he loved and now he gets to reunite with his family. He wanted to leave and so he did. May Avitas Harper rest in peace and never be forgotten.

Next: Darin. His death ruined me. He was the sole purpose Laia went on this journey in the first place. He was the first person to always believe in her. He was the only family she (thought) she had left. He was one of Laia’s biggest fans and nothing else mattered more to him than her. He based so much of his life pushing Laia forward and encouraging her and getting her to laugh again even during the darkest of times. The way he pinched her cheeks before bidding her goodbye, the way he went back to find Laia and fight beside her, the way he teased her about Elias making the both of us laugh, and how even in his final moments before crossing over he wanted to know how his sister was doing. If she had won. Then being able to pass in peace proudly when he found out that she had. And his final words telling Elias that if there’s one person who can make up for all the love she’s lost it’s him. He will be missed greatly. So much so!

Next: Faris. Faris has been here since the beginning His last scene with the shrike also ruined me. I had to put the book down cause I was so hurt. Faris was a giant teddy bear always spewing jokes and being a clueless but brave boy. To see him go down like that though admirable still broke me nonetheless. Especially despite knowing a lot about them I loved him and Dex very much! I also thought maybe him and Livia could have their own happy ending, but I hoped too hard ):

Next: Livia. I bet you can guess this hurt very much as well. I loved Livia so much. She was such a powerful girl thrust into this world of politics and tyrants and held her own. My love first ignited in Reaper and only shined brighter in SKY. My jaw dropped and once again the book went down when Keris killed her. I was so broken. She was so full of life, witty, brave, sweet, and just as fierce as her sister. I wished she could’ve stayed!

Next: Musa. My FAVORITE secondary character in the whole series. Words cannot describe how much I love Musa and it saddens me to see that he is so underrated. Though I’m happy that even Sabaa says that he is one of her favorites! Musa was a light in every dark moment. I’m always a sap for handsome snarky sarcastic comedic relief characters with a tragic past. I loved that he was the one to always joke first despite how much he hurts. That he was the one always encouraging those around him to fight for love even though he lost his. I loved that he called Laia little sister and how his mere presence around her could make Elias go feral. Surprisingly most of all I loved his relationship with Helene.

Now here is yet another break from character talk to talk about another pair. Musa and Helene. I know it’s wrong. Helene had just lost Avitas and they are two broken people right now. But like said just for a moment, together, they make a whole. I never even thought of a possibility between the two. It felt so random. Awkward even. Though upon my reread I can see the little hints. Musa and Helene practically spend most of the book at each other’s side. They fight together, they encourage each other, they argue, and they see each other. Two people always putting on a brave face no matter how much they hurt. I was surprised to feel myself smiling at their bickering. Helene tends to be an uptight stoic person but around Musa she can’t help but smile and laugh as easy as it is to breathe. The way she endearingly considers him pretty. Around Musa she can’t help but talk about her feelings and him to her. The way she held his hand when they found out about Nikla’s death and how even when Harper went to talk to him he still wouldn’t let go of her. And their final scene together at the end of SKY. SO MANY FEELS! I CAN’T HELP THE FLUTTER OF HOPE I FEEL! Their bickering even cuter! Their vulnerability to each other even more powerful! All the while still respecting their past loves and understanding they can still mourn and yet live and strive for more. Absolutely perfect! Seeing Helene not close herself up after yet again losing in love was such a beautiful thing to me. Her telling Musa she’d like it if he stayed and him obviously happy about it but feigning arrogance instead is so him it only makes me love him more. Makes me love them more. Makes me hope! This could just be Sabaa testing the waters but Helene does still owe him a favor and I hope to the skies above Sabaa will be giving us that tale soon!

Next Character: Keris. I loved how she was handled as well. Learning about her past explained so much and yet erased nothing. I loved being able to learn more about her. I loved being able to see all the suffering she went through that we didn’t know about that turned shaped her into the cruel person she is today. How some of her actions still can’t be fully understood cause Keris herself probably doesn’t understand it either. I love that we are able to see her point of view and understand het and yet it’s plainly obvious that Keris has made her grave. Now it’s time for her to lie in it. It’s such a painful yet satisfying thing to see her reunite with her mother’s ghost. To be confronted by all her misdoings as Karinna looks at her in hope and then disdain upon seeing all the blood on her hands. From then she is unable to see her as her daughter leaving Keris ultimately alone and to confront all the wrongs she had cause to get to where she is. I felt it more fitting that Mirra killed her. Marcus is the one who took the Bloodshrike’s family away from her so it is only fair that Helene got to kill him. While Keris is the one who tortured Cook and her family. Forced Mirra’s hand to kill her own family just so they won’t have to suffer under Keris anymore. So it felt right to me that Mirra finally got to have the last word. I also loved how Mirra was able to take away all of Keris’s pain until she was reduced to nothing but a girl again before she was tainted. Then ultimately passed on. I found this a incredibly satisfying end to her arc.

Lastly: Mirra. I LOVED that Mirra was able to come back. I LOVED that Sabaa wasn’t cruel enough to leave Laia alone. Since Helene had baby Zacharias. Elias has Quin. Laia would’ve had no one. And I loved that Elias and Helene teared up also happy to see that Laia still had one person left. I loved that cook admits to her faults and how broken she herself is. How vengeance took over her and led her astray. But there is no one she loves more in this world than Laia. That she will fight everything and anyone just to ensure Laia will have a place in this world. I also loved her sense of humor. Had me cackling when she demanded Mauth to come talk to her and when she casually calls Elias her son in law. I loved her teaming up with the Bloodshrike! I love the big reveal leading up to it. It was all just so perfect for me!

In conclusion: Do I have my criticisms? Yes. There are a few things I wish to change. I thought Keenan was mentioned too much in the beginning. I found their relationship especially in book 2 very unhealthy so to hear her mention it and him as something to miss made me quite uncomfortable. Though I suppose it’s also just the thought of missing an ally and a friend cause there was a time where she had no one but Keenan to rely on. I wish we could’ve had more Helene and Laia scenes! Seeing her smile in a long time because Elias and Laia had their happy ending did wonders to my soul! I wish we could’ve had more scenes of Elias, Laia, and Helene all working together. I wish we could’ve had more scenes of Elias and Laia fighting side by side. Especially since I’ve always wanted scenes of them fighting together. The ones we got in SKY were EVERYTHING! I just wish we could’ve had more of that instead of them walking in the forest and pages of him being cold to her. I wish Avitas and Elias could’ve bonded more. To see them two be so reserved and yet so happy to be able to meet was such a gift. And yet they only fully spoke in two scenes ): I wish Darin and Laia got to spend more time together. I wish Laia could’ve gotten more scenes with her scythe. Or that we could’ve gotten more scenes of Laia with her bow and arrows. However these are minor things and do not take away much from my overall feeling for this book.

Which is I am in love with this book. It is my new favorite book of all time. Of any other book ever. I think it is the best book in the series and the fact that Sabaa is so proud of it and says it’s the best book she ever wrote. I can’t help but agree and give A Sky Beyond The Storms a sky full of stars. The ending is everything I’ve ever wanted and so much more. It makes saying goodbye hurt less knowing my faves are alive, happy, and have finally found a place to call home. I love that we end off on Elias and Laia getting engaged and walking off to get ready to start a new life together. I couldn’t of asked for a better ending. Sabaa really outdid herself and I hope she gets all the praise and all the awards for this divine book and her flawless story telling. Truly one of the best Kehannis out there ❤️

#A Sky Beyond The Storm

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