#I’m sensing sickness is a recent trend | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

minotaur-asterion · 5 months

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The voices, and when they get down with the sickness (long post underneath, please prepare yourself):

I think Hero kind of wishes they could act out that classic sickfic scene where they get to stay in bed all day and someone brings them soup and takes good care of them. Well, it’ll never happen with that nervous attitude, so until they get the balls to ask someone they’ll have to suck it up and take care of themselves. So, so tired the entire time. Poor meow meow

Alternatively, Hero’s a doting caretaker, if not physically distant. Doesn’t want to catch anything… but rest assured, they’re at their charge’s beck and call- they’ll bring food, medicine, heating pads, blankets, the crown of Russia, Russia, and more!

Cold can’t tell until something really noticeable happens, and even then it can be a while before he figures out he’s sick. Oh, his nose is running? It has been getting cold recently, no pun intended. He collapsed? Has to determine whether it was lack of sleep or if he got stabbed recently and that was blood loss; illness just doesn’t immediately come to mind. Might get a little loopy and out of it while recovering. Appreciates the lack of taste if forced to eat

Cold’s really good at treating sick folks, but taking care of them can be 50/50 depending on who it is. If he actually gives a shit he mostly curls up in a chair nearby and chills- again, pun not intended- until they need something. He might even offer the briefest of cuddles, which depending on his charge’s strength might end up lasting a lot longer than he planned

Cheated gets sick a lot- he doesn’t get much sleep so his body doesn’t have a lot of energy to fight it off. It’s total chaos if he gets a fever. Complains soooo much. But he gets very warmly happy if someone throws in the towel to take care of him. Wants to snuggle a lot

He refuses to take care of most of the others. Fuck them! But he’s probably going to get roped into it one way or another, knowing his luck. The only people he’d actually agree to care for is Opportunist and Contrarian since they live together. I’ve always imagined those three as a package deal anyway

Speaking of Opportunist- ey’re used to a little bit of body ache, so ey’re able to power through the less severe colds and such, just take it a little easier than usual, wear a mask to work, you know. It gets trickier when severe sickness aligns with a bad back day, ey don’t enjoy feeling like that while barely being able to move around. Ey’re honored if anyone decides to help, honestly…

Opportunist is a believer in laughter being the best medicine. He likes to talk and talk about all sorts of things just to take his charge’s mind off their symptoms. He also likes to hear himself talk, so it’s a bonus, really!

Contrarian… surprisingly barely ever gets sick. Or, at least, they don’t let on most of the times they do. Maybe they get a little quieter, but it’s surprisingly easy to melt into the crowd for them. It’s probably easier to not expect or ask for anything anyway

But on the contrary, pun intended this time, Contrarian loves to help out and take care of sick folks. God knows he’s not helpful at all with treating the sickness- which makes me think he’d be a good duo with Cold- but he’ll certainly entertain and keep company. “Oh, but you’ll catch something-“ he definitely will, but it’s worth it!

Paranoid is fascinated by disease. Would probably get sick and immediately think “how can I turn this into a zombie-making virus?” Jots down every single sniffle in her journal. Studies the microorganisms that caused it. Just really weird and iconically herself about it. The few times she does sleep, her dreams will be even weirder than usual. I think her obsession with recording the darn thing is overriding the symptoms

It’s much the same with when someone else is sick- pencil to paper, on a scale of one to ten how bad do you feel, describe your symptoms, can I get a swab for totally normal not nefarious reasons. Makes sure to wash her hands after existing in the same room as anyone who’s sick

Broken genuinely doesn’t think it’ll make it. Sure, it’s a really light flu, but it just won’t survive. Most illnesses are similar to a bad pain day regardless of how bad they’d normally be, but the good thing about the whole ordeal is snuggles and attention… Even if it’s out like a light most of the time. Might get weird and horny about it

Broken gets really worried about the others when they’re sick, and usually sticks them in bed if he can even move them there. Perches at the foot of the bed and watches closely. A little creepy, but he means well. So so so worried

Hunted’s surprisingly clean, so it’s hard for it to get too sick. Very pragmatic approach to dealing with it, which includes keeping everything clean during times when it feels better and resting when it feels worse. Doesn’t enjoy it for a second, especially when it clogs its ears and nose, but it’ll survive

Goes a little haywire when someone else is sick. You’ve never bore witness to the kind of strength it can muster to get someone in its nest. Protective as all get out, preens and tries to spoon feed. Will only allow people it trusts with its life- and maybe not even that depending on how feral it is- near the nest

Stubborn isn’t one to get sick often, and even then through the sheer power of, I dunno, muscles or something, he can fight it off pretty well. Just lay off the baking for a bit so he doesn’t accidentally infect anyone… In the rarest cases where he just can’t keep going as usual, he becomes surprisingly tame. Too tired to get all worked up. Sleepy little guy…

They can also be surprisingly helpful, especially with calming down a much stronger personality (cough. Hunted) who’s also trying to take care of someone sick. Makes the meanest fucking soup you’ve ever had the pleasure of tasting. And I say this with Broken definitely in mind, but they get a little affectionate about it. Just a smidge. Not because they care about this person, no! Don’t be ridiculous

Smitten probably gets sick all the time from his flower allergies, but he can’t bring himself to stop gardening. That’s why he got allergy medicine. If it’s not allergies he’s stumped on what to do. Might even get dramatic about it- write his will, eat some ice cream while watching his favorite rom com shows (he knows at least that sugar can help calm nausea), read Shakespeare, uh… I don’t know what else he’d do but it’d be dramatic!

Smitten’s a total sweetheart when taking care of someone else. Breakfast in bed, reads to them (dyslexic, does silly voices), treats them like total royalty. The drawback? Literally never takes care of anyone on a whim. Has to be planned, premeditated. Draws up a schedule of the whole thing

Skeptic likes to take sick days slow. Sit in the butterfly garden. Unless it’s winter. Then he’ll just stay in bed the whole day. Probably hibernates through the illness and wakes up crusty but healthy

He’ll certainly try his best to take care of someone else, but he’s not that great at it. Good at reassuring them about their anxieties though. Gives them a little too much medicine

I have a feeling Meek might be immune to disease. Otherwise she’d fucking die. Sneezes so loudly it’s like a bomb went off

She’s also not great about helping someone through their sickness, but she’ll scoot into their lap and offer them to pet her. The others suspect she might even like being pet… she will vehemently deny it though

Flinching is very shaky when she’s sick. Terrible grip strength. She’ll realize something’s off when she accidentally drops her favorite mug and now has to sadly stare at it on the ground before Doubting picks it up and puts it back together (he made a mug that’s easy to repair specifically for this reason)

Very gentle with sick people, almost as though she’s afraid to break them. Wonderful bedside manner. If she wasn’t so squeamish she would’ve tried becoming a nurse, but alas, just a librarian for now…

Doubting’s vision is usually bleary, but eventually he’ll figure out something’s wrong when he puts his glasses on and he still can’t see well. He’s a good patient, though, and recovers quickly with the right conditions

A lot like Flinching, he’s also good about taking care of others. May or may not be developing experimental treatments for diseases though. Do not touch those beakers

Much like a huge disoriented beast, Obsessed doesn’t do well with sickness. It messes with them badly. Not as clean as Hunted about it but definitely not to be trifled with still. Think like a rabid animal, how they can lose their fear of certain things and just… stare

They don’t live near anyone, so there’s nobody to take care of when sick

#slay the princess #slay the princess headcanons #Demo voices as a bonus!#I’m sensing sickness is a recent trend #Probably because it’s flu season

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pterodactyl-hater · 2 months

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Just not him

・❥・ Your situationship doesn’t like that you were seen with another man

・❥・word count: 1.2k

・❥・warnings: Homelander and The Deep (they’re their own warnings), fade to black smut, Homie is a little toxic, supe!reader

・❥・I don't write smut because I'm not good at it, but I'm not good at it because I don't write it, a viscous cycle.

Also sorry if this doesn't make much sense I was in and out of consciousness while writing 😝

"No. No way am I doing that."

"(Y/n), your sexuality is part of your brand. May I remind you your approval rates are going down by the minute." Madelyn sighs.

"Yeah, I get that, but you expect me to go out there and flirt with The Deep? I'd be making a fool of myself." Your cheeks are hot as you try to defend yourself.

"Ah, ah, you'd be making a spectacle, and that's exactly what we need right now. Drama, scandal, rumors."

"And it has to be him?" You deadpanned. "It can't be anyone else? What about Homelander?" You felt yourself becoming desperate.

“Homelander? And you?” A smile breaks out on her face, but she tries to hide it. “I don’t mean any offense, but you two aren’t an ideal pair up.” She talks to you like you’re a child. You fight the urge to tell her that you and Homelander are actually a very good pair. “Anyways, recently you and The Deep have been trending, as a couple.” You scoff.

Recently on a podcast with some man you’re sure is very popular in a different crowd, The Deep confessed that he found you to be the most attractive member of The Seven. Ever since then a burst of videos were posted of cute moments between the two of you, which turned into edits, which turned into fan art, which turned into fanfiction. You fought the urge to gag, who even makes that stuff? From a marketing perspective, it made for great business, a romance angle brought new eyes to the scene. To you, it was demeaning.

“Fine. But I’m not going to take this any further than a few flirtatious remarks at tomorrow’s gala.” You remind yourself it’s not good to anger someone like Madelyn, she’s scarier than she lets on. Madelyn nods and you walk out of her office, much more embarrassed than you were when you entered. As you stormed down the hallway to the safety of your own home, none other than The Deep greeted you.

Speak of the devil and he shall arrive.

“Hey! How are you doing today, cutie?” He starts. He practically salivates as he walks beside you. You feel like you’re gonna be sick.

“I’m not in the mood right now.”

“C’mon, why don’t you let me take you out for a drink or two? We’re supposed to be all over each other tom-“

“Not in the mood!” You cut him off. Your walking increases to practically sprinting until you reach your home. You slam the door shut behind you. You shrugged off your clothes and crawled into bed. No way in hell were you getting out of bed until the last possible minute.

You stood, still as a statue. You wore a deep purple outfit. The silks enveloped your body in a sexy, yet elegant way. You had never felt more bored in your life. The Deep had his hand positioned on your lower back, where it had been all night. You had already talked to everyone important, you made sure the photographers got enough shots of you coquettishly whispering in The Deep’s ear, or leaning on him while being in conversation. You had taken notice to the fact that Homelander had yet to arrive. The gala would be ending soon, and without an appearance from the leader of The Seven himself. His absence further ruined your mood.

You and Homelander were in a bit of a situationship. There was no official label for your relationship. He’d come to your house just to sleep with you one day, then act like you two were strangers the next. You had learned to accept that nothing serious would come from the relationship. But there was still a part of you that wished he had come tonight.

“(Y/n), big smiles.” The Deep reminded. “Why do you look so fucking depressed?” His voice was low enough that it would look like casual banter to any outsider. His hold on the small of your back grew tight.

“Back off and mind your own business.” You said through gritted teeth. You forced a coy smile and blush onto your face as if he had just said something really flustering to you.

“Hey you two!” You felt your brows furrow. Sometime between two minutes ago, when you last scanned the room, and now Homelander had entered, and without you noticing. Your fake smile melted into a real one.

“Homelander.” You greeted. The Deep pulled you in impossibly closer. He didn’t say anything, just nodded. You had a feeling he was scared of Homelander.

“Do you mind if I borrow them?” Homelander asked The Deep. All of you knew it wasn’t a question, just a thinly veiled demand. “You seem to have them chained down.” He laughed, referring to the vice grip currently on your back. After a second the hold was gone, The Deep had already walked off to get himself another drink.

It was just you and Homelander now. He moved close to you to whisper in your ear.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He asked with a plastic smile. You felt your stomach drop.

“My job.” You shot back with an equally fake smile. You watched as his cheeks turned red with anger.

“No.” He grabbed your wrist. “We’re leaving.” You planted your feet in the ground.

“Excuse you?”

“I said, we’re leaving.” He hissed.

“They’ll have my head if I’m seen leaving with you.”

“They can fucking suck it up. I’m The Homelander. I get who I want, when I want. We’re leaving.” He dragged you by the wrist to pull you out the back doors. You were acutely aware that all the photographers turned away their cameras after seeing the expression on Homelander’s face.

The cold night air curled around your exposed skin, but you had no time to even breathe it in before your head hit the wall behind you and Homelander’s lips were on yours. His hands gripped your waist as he pulled you closer to him. You push him away, sucking in deep breaths.

“What’s gotten into you? Why are you acting like this?” You ask breathlessly. You can’t say you don’t enjoy this possessiveness, but he’s never made such a scene for you before, especially in public. He doesn’t answer before pulling you back into another hungry kiss.

He pulls away, his breath hot against your neck. “You’re mine. All fucking mine. No one else can have you, especially not that fucker Deep.” He pants. His grip tightened in a way you’re sure would bruise if it wasn’t for your invulnerable skin. “Fucking say it. Say that you’re mine.” A tone of pathetic desperation creeps into his voice. You smile and curl your fingers in his hair.

You wish Madelyn could see you now. Not a good pair, as if.

“I’m yours, Homelander.” You assure him. He whines against your collarbone. You’re sure tomorrow he’ll go back to pretending none of this happened, but for now you revel in his attention. “Why don’t you show them that I belong to you?”

It’s so petty, just a cheap way to stick it in Madelyn’s face. Homelander grins as he tries to suck a hickey on your neck. Both of your smiles quickly faded at the realization that there’s no way to bruise invincible skin. “Shit.” You cursed under your breath. Homelander looked up at you with his big blue eyes. You run your fingers through his hair.

“I’m sure you could show them in a different way.” You smirked.

#the boys x reader #homelander x reader #homelander #request #pterodactyl hater

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iu-jjang · 8 months

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[FANCAFE] 230918 From.IU - IU is here!!!!

To my pyeon (those who have been by my side) for a long time,

my dear uaena-ya,

happy 15th birthday🩵

Hello uaena?

September has come again without fail!

(Although not as much as last year) Though the hot weather stretches on, enough to overshadow the term ‘autumn’..

Anyway September is here. Is everyone doing alright amidst this everchanging weather?

Uaenas seem to be bustling with anticipation about the screening of the Golden Hour movie and that puts me in a good mood, when I check in every now and then 😌🩵 (It’s l..legit awesome…)

Without being roasted by the sun! Or pickled by the rain! Or blown away by the wind! Please take care when you go and watch the show!!!!

September is our IUaena festival, so let’s not fall sick and let’s be especially happy 🔥

Anyway, September is here and somehow 15 years have passed..!!

From my 10th to 14th anniversary, the 4 years were like that, but this year really flew by as swiftly as an arrow.

We’ll be having a large scale(?) celebration a week later, but celebrating on the day itself has more meaning, right?! I thought about whether to read out this letter on stage that day, but decided to just post this on the actual day today in commemoration 🩵

Uaenas, my classmates from Gwangjin Middle School whom I have been friends with since I was 15 years old, are Junghoonie and Rangie. (I introduced them on a broadcast previously hehe) Although they are busy with their adult lives now, when I contact them occasionally, I feel like I return to who I was as the middle schooler Jieunie.

They are my friends that I shared my teens, 20s and 30s and we watched each other become adults, so even if it’s gross, it’s a deep relationship that I’m grateful for.

But come to think of it, uaena have been my longest friends for as long as Junghoonie and Rangie. You’ve watched over my teens, 20s and 30s, you always start conversations with me and ask me questions that I’m glad to answer and you love not just my front view, but my side view and even my back view every time.

I came across this in an article, but apparently we hold a piece of information for about 15 years. In the span of 15 years, as society changes and the trends change, people also change their values and when new perspectives appear during that timespan, we often redefine the way we think.

As I read that article, I sensed a newfound weight to the timespan of 15 years.

In this long span of time that it wouldn’t be out of the norm for something to be forgotten, as I unknowingly worried about things, got lost, changed, matured and grew older, thank you for watching over me silently during this period of time.

I’m still that boring person with a bad sense of direction and gets lost once in awhile, whenever I think of uaena, I always feel like I get a flash of strength.

Each of you having some kind of confidence (TL note: in me) and in the long span of time of the birth and death of a piece of information, I’m not sure if you liked me constantly, but that look of confidence protected me for many days. Thank you so much.

I’m still just me as always… but in your eyes, I am strong!!😌🔥

I’ve been busy recently, as if I’m back in my rookie days. Basically, I’m having fun and being happy! keke Physically, I think I’m well-suited for this too. Inevitably, there are times when I get exhausted and during those days, it’s like I’m receiving orders (TL note: like at a restaurant) over and over again, spending each day clearing missions. ‘Because to uaena, I am strong!!’

I’ll save the rest of the things I have to say until this weekend (TL note: To say during the fan concert).

I love you.

(Ah, it’s past midnight. Ah…. I find this kind of things such a pityㅜㅜ)

(TL note: By the time IU posted on fancafe, it was already 12:15am)

Translated by IUteamstarcandy with love

#IU #fancafe #from.IU

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archivxx · 1 year

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✯[0.11]✯

Previous || Next

AN: i recommend reading [0.11-extra] before this, some things may not make sense completely without it.

Note: I agree to things before I have the chance to fully think them through, I’m impulsive and that’s certainly not benefitting me.

You had arrived to fake-dating Thursday on time, for once. Not something that happened very often for any event, let alone fake-dating Thursday. In fact, you weren’t just on time but you were early. You were now sat in the cafe at ten minutes to ten waiting for Clyde to make his appearance.

A small part of you actually wished he wouldn’t come today, after the embarrassment that was yesterday. The scene of you massaging sunscreen into Clyde’s chest replaying itself in your head. You would never live it down, by far, out of everything that was the worst thing you’ve ever had to do in this fake-relationship. Hell, it was the worst thing you’ve ever had to do in your life. It was humiliating.

But, you couldn’t keep dwelling on it, plus, considering Clyde’s track record he probably wouldn’t address it. So instead you decided to focus your attention on planning an outfit for the concert, you wouldn’t be leaving next week and you swore you would dress your absolute best. This definitely wasn’t the first concert you’d ever done but this was definitely the first one with meaning so deep to it.

You continued to busy yourself by reading the most recent updates from some of your favourite critics—they had all written some amazing comments about the band—they always kept your mind occupied when you needed it. You quickly checked the time, Clyde was late, which considering his “character” tardiness was the last thing your expected.

Shit. You were thinking about him again.

You made a quick effort to think of something, anything else. Clicking on random tabs and websites to distract you, even going as far as to accidentally click on a pop-up-ad of some random “milf” supposedly 20 miles from you, in a desperate attempt to essentially jumpscare the thoughts out of your head. After clicking on the pop-up-ad, it had absolutely worked. You quickly x-ed out of the tab and went onto twitter, it had been a while since you last properly checked it.

You opened up twitter and went onto the trending page only to find yourself gobsmacked.

You stared at the tag, Clyde was trending? Why the fuck was Clyde trending? You clicked on it, a force in your finger that almost snapped it in half, you could of sworn you felt it throb for a moment.

You read through a few of the messages then re-read them, well it was nice that none of them were necessarily negative, however, you were absolutely not prepared for, for half a moment your thought you’d fallen off your chair. Then you focused on the first one, it was a quote tweet, the original poster was Stan. What the fuck? Your mouth practically unhinged.

By now Clyde had arrived however you couldn’t bring yourself to look up, in fact, you couldn’t take your eyes off the computer screen, no way this had gotten out of work. You felt physically sick. You looked up at Clyde your mouth still agape, he cocked his head ever so slightly. You slowly raised your hand and motioned him to come over, he quickly rushed around and bent down next to you staring at the screen. You heard the faintest of gasps.

You turned to Clyde with a look which must have been horrifying as when you made eye contact he flinched, only slightly. He sighed and stoop up, straightening his back then he walked over to the chair opposite you and folded himself in it. The chair looked like a kids toy chair compared to him. It felt like ever since yesterday, after seeing his body, he seemed even bigger than usual, like an illusion of sorts.

You opened you mouth, you were going to say something profound had you not been in a total state of shock and disbelief, completely void of things to say. Clyde, surprisingly, seemed to pick up on your state and decided to speak for you, “I’m going to be honest, Y/N one of the first things we agreed was that this deal was strictly for in the work place, even my public relations manager had advised we do as such, I’m sorry you friend did something so shitty, but I don’t know how going to deal with this, however we will so you need to try to calm down. It’s not the end of the world.”

You redirected your wandering gaze towards him. What was he saying? Whatever it was it didn’t make sense to you, you were sure you were going to hurt. Right now, all you needed to do was pretend this wasn’t real and deal with it when you aren’t as worked up about it—which would probably be never.

“I doesn’t matter. We’ll deal with it later, Clyde. Let’s go get coffee.” You quickly clicked off the tab and closed your laptop. You had, for a very long time, known how to condition yourself and how to fake it, which, as of right now was your biggest ally. If you faked it, you faked it to yourself and if you fake it to yourself you didn’t have to think about it.

Luckily for you, Clyde had caught onto what you were doing and simply got up and followed you to the counter, not saying a single word. All he did was stand next to you, so close you could feel his body heat, like it was radiating. For some reason, it made you feel safe—protected.

The barista gave the customer before you their order and walked up to the cash register, giving you all her attention. “Hi! What can I get for you today?” Her voice was sickeningly friendly you almost told her to get real but instead your bit your tongue and answered, making a point of staying polite.

“Hi! Can I get a chamomile tea and an iced coffee? Two pumps of caramel.” Clyde gave you a look before paying for the order. The barista wandered off to prepare your drinks. You sighed, realising a breath you hadn’t even realised you’d been holding. You felt so incredibly tense.

“I heard your don’t have a room for next week? Getting one lest minute is going to be really hard you know?”

“Yeah I do know, Clyde. What is the aim of telling me something I already know.”

“Well I was thinking,” he paused, seemingly deep in thought. Looking for the words. “Without this sounding obnoxious maybe you could share with me?”

You felt yourself suck in some air. What was up with him today? You whipped your head around to him, your mind felt frantic. What could he possibly want sharing a room with you? You stared at him, hoping he would explain or tell you something, anything that made the whole idea sound even a little bit less creepy.

He stared at you for a moment before trying to explain only to get too worked up. He stopped and took a deep breath. “Okay, that’s not what I mean, I mean I have a room booked for the week from Pete as a thank your gift for letting him stay at my place. However, I’m only going to be there for three days, two before you’re supposed to arrive and the day of. I have a few meeting down there then I’m preforming then you perform then the day after I have to leave, I have another performance so we’d only be sharing for one day.”

You swallowed thickly and nodded, slowly. “Okay but that one night we do cross over, we’re going to have to share a bed.”

“No, we won’t. The room I booked is two bedroom.”

“Oh.”

Really, there was no reason decline, no matter how hard you searched and racked your brain. You began to weigh up the options, but really you hadn’t considered any negatives aside from the one of you maybe walking in on the other changing and concluded that declining would be foolish. You were already struggling enough trying to work out what you were going to do a free room would be really perfect.

You sighed. “Oh what the hell. Yeah, if you don’t mind, I’ll share with you. Thank you so much Clyde.”

He did his mouth-twitch-thing. “You’re welcome.”

You tried not to focus too much on his face, or that fact that his mouth-twitch-thing—which was now the technical term—only seemed to be reserved for you. It, honestly, made you happy that Clyde could trust you enough to be a “vulnerable”—but not really just a little laid back—version of himself. It was like this deal you had was also a secret alliance, it was nice.

The more you thought about how the deal had brought you closer the more the anxiety of it ending in just under a week began to peck at your head. Would you just go back to normal like nothing had ever happened? Like you hadn’t kissed him—twice—or like you hadn’t sat on his lap? Would all that just be forgotten and you return to a normal life like you had just 3 months ago?

The thoughts began to form into anxiety in the pit of your stomach, if anything, you really liked Clydes company, you’d even gained solace in it once or twice, you didn’t want that go away, you honestly wanted him to stay a part of your life. But for now, you had to dismiss the thoughts, you couldn’t entertain them till next week, right now, you just need to focus on being happy. Being in a bad mood wouldn’t help anyone while your practice and prepare for the show next week.

Almost as if on cue, the barista called your drinks out, knocking you off your train of thoughts completely. You took a step forward and grabbed your drink, taking a sip of it. Any sadness you’d had vanished completely in that moment, this drink was exactly what you needed, you felt yourself physically brighten up.

You made your way back to the table, sitting where you had sat before when your found out about—

It didn’t matter.

Clyde folded himself into the chair across from you again. The silence was awkward but telling. You both know something had to be said or you would be stuck here staring at each other longer than needed. Alas no matter how much your racked your brain you couldn’t find a single conversation, considering how close you and Clyde had gotten you still weren’t unfamiliar to awkward silences with him.

Clyde picked up his phone and check up them sat up straight. “Fuck.” The “u” lasted for longer than what was probably necessary. “I’m so sorry but I need to go.” He got up and grabbed his bag and left quickly, not waiting for your goodbye.

A little rude.

You let out a breath, you didn’t know you had been holding, and slumped back in your chair. Today was absolutely going to be a long one.

You opened up your laptop again and logged back in. Happy to not see twitter when you opened it. You would have to ask Tolkien to make a statement about it and make one yourself and get Clyde to make one.

This shit was too much for a Thursday morning.

You went onto a random gaming site. Usually when you were upset or stressed about something, playing crappy online games helped. Your favourite one had to be and of the Papa’s games, today though, you had a craving for Papa’s Freezeria.

You had been playing for roughly 15 minutes when your brain decided to abruptly remind you of the deal you had made with Clyde.

Shit.

You had originally agreed because a free room is a free room, a lunatic would turn that down. But then you remembered, this was your shitty life. Nothing ever went the way you wanted them to go, no you essentially were a rom-com now. There was no way you would get out of this amazing offer unscathed. You knew for a fact, without a shadow of a doubt there would not be two beds.

There would be one.

Of course there would.

You would have to share a bed with Clyde Donovan.

Masterlist

Taglist: @h3artilly @bootsieboo @ryenwritess @southparktegreity @lacunaanonymoused

(Taglist is still open)

#south park #bounded smau #clyde donovan #reader insert #clyde donovan x reader

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cretaceousundead · 11 months

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Honestly what even is the point in pride month anymore when what used to be the LBTQA+ community is now literally just the oppression club for bullies?

Trans people aren’t welcome. Transphobia is so fucking accepted now, not only from conservatives but even liberals.

Bi people are on ‘thin ice’, as the saying goes. We’re seen as Queer Lite. Only valid if we’re in a same sex relationship, but then we get told we’re basically gay anyway. When someone comes out as bi, let’s say a celeb comes out as bi, their fans celebrate, but it never comes across like they’re genuinely happy that this person felt comfortable coming out, it’s more like they’re just happy the person isn’t straight, cause we all know the only people gays hate more than bi and trans people are cishet people. Gays celebrating a celeb they like coming out as bi has always felt more like a “oh thank GOD they’re not straight” rather than a “I’m so happy for them”.

Recently I’ve seen LGBwithouttheT trending on Twitter allot, but let’s be real if they succeeded in booting the trans people out they’d start trending LGwithouttheB next.

Growing up I saw the community, back then simply called the LGBT community, as simply a community of people who were anything other than straight or cis.

If lesbians and gays ever succeeded in claiming this so called ‘community’ for themselves they’d start fighting amongst each other as well over whose more oppressed. Obviously the general consensus would be that lesbians are more oppressed than gay guys because “US POOR OPPRESSED WOMYN!!”. So then the fighting would begin between lesbians and other lesbians.

White lesbians vs lesbians of colour. The lesbian of colour would be the winner of ‘most oppressed’.

Then it would be lesbian of colour with mental illnesses or trauma ve lesbians of colour without mental illnesses or trauma.

It will never fucking end.

When I was younger, before I even realised I was part of the community myself, I thought it was just a community for people who weren’t cis or straight at a time when those people often didn’t fit in with people who were cis and straight.

But now it’s the oppression club. It’s not about acceptance. It’s not about equality. It’s not about having a community to feel at home. It’s a “you must be THIS oppressed to ride this ride”.

The LGBTQA+ community barely exists anymore. There’s no sense of community anymore. There’s no kindness. There’s just hatred and bullying so honestly what’s the point in pride month? Why is it still a thing, what ‘pride’ are you people talking about? Because I don’t see anyone with anything to be prideful about anymore. Trans people are referring to as ‘things’ and ‘freaks of nature’. Bi people are either gays with internalised homophobia or straight people trying to be special. Gay guys are oppressing lesbians just by being male. White lesbians are oppressing lesbians of colour.

The whole point of the community was that at a time when we actually were hated or the very least not understood by cishet people, we needed a community of our own to feel at home in and safe.

But cishet people are not out biggest enemies anymore, most decent cishet people support us. I, as a bisexual woman, feel more comfortable around my cishet male friend than I did at the most recent pride parade I went to because I spent half the time there wondering how many of the people waving around rainbow flags spend their free time on the internet being transphobic and/or biphobic, whereas I know that my friend doesn’t care about my sexuality and loves me for me and supports me for who I am however I am.

Speaking of cishet people, I’m sick to death of being told by my own so called community that I simultaneously don’t belong here AND that y’all are the only people I can trust because cisheta are my enemy. When I reality the majority of the bigotry I’ve ever experienced has come from gay people not straight people.

It reminds me of radical feminists telling women that men are the ones we should be fearing while they simultaneously abuse us and bully us when we want female abusers acknowledged or when we even so much as say that we don’t hate men.

You use bigotry by cishets as a way to shield yourself from critisism for your own bigotry.

Where’s the fucking pride? Theres no pride. There’s just hatred. There’s no sense of community or belonging. The community doesn’t fucking exist anymore. So what’s the point in pride month. According to the self appointed leaders of the community, A.K.A the people who see themselves as the most oppressed, pretty much nobody actually belongs in the community. And if we don’t belong here then what’s the point in pride month? Who does pride month exist for?

#pride month #yes I’m tagging that #don’t care if this gets no notes or if it only gets hate by angry gays #I needed to get this out because you people are heinous #mine

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kammartinez · 8 months

Text

By Chris Vognar

Publisher’s Weekly recently reported that book sales for the first half of the year are down once again, continuing a trend that has accelerated since the pandemic.

As usual, I seem to be out of step. After a few years of joining the Kindle cult, I am back to my old bibliophile ways of buying more books than I will possibly have time to read. I do this not just out of compulsion, but aspiration (and, more practically, for research on various writing assignments). When I go to a great bookstore, which, to me, is like a cathedral, I feel the need to tithe. Some might call me a book hoarder.

I once read that buying books represents the illusion of buying the time needed to read them. That sounds about right. But these personal inclinations usually stem from a personal story. Here is mine. It takes a few turns.

I grew up around books, which is one of the few good things I can say about how I grew up. I remember opening my parents’ dusty hardcover of James Joyce’s “Finnegan’s Wake” and thinking: How do people read this? (OK, so I still think that about “Finnegan’s Wake.”) I remember my mom’s rows of paperback Dorothy Sayers mystery novels. Even then, I could sense the magic contained within two covers, and I carried that sense of magic into adulthood.

In a former life, in another city, I had hundreds of books in the house. They lined shelves, and they sat in unruly stacks. Then, suddenly, that old life ended. My life partner, Kate, got sick and died. I lost my job, and, to some extent, my mind. I was sort of exiled to another city, Houston, with most of my old Dallas life, including the books, left in storage, where they remain. I started packing lightly and adhering to minimalism. Hence the Kindle, which I had sworn off for years as a not tangible enough reading experience. I fell into a rather spartan existence.

But something happened a few months back. I’m not exactly sure what it was, but I can trace the steps. I made my maiden voyage to Ikea, a story in itself, and I bought a bookcase, which had a strange domesticating effect on what I still think of as my temporary lodging in a friend’s townhouse. I figured I needed to fill that bookcase. And I slowly returned to the pleasure of holding a book, reading a book, and, yes, buying a book.

Since my work is to write about books, I have some form of excuse. But there’s more to it than that. I remembered how much I love books as physical objects: their smell, their feel, the sensory reading experience they offer. I like getting them in the mail. I am interminably curious, and unrealistically ambitious. It’s a dangerous combination. I’ll be watching an Elia Kazan movie and suddenly I’ll remember that Richard Schickel wrote an acclaimed biography of the great director, whose legacy was tarnished when he named names during the Hollywood blacklist. I don’t own that biography. One thing leads to another. Again and again.

The books get in the way sometimes. They pile up on the arm of the chair where I sit to watch TV. They take up the space on my ottoman where my feet are supposed to go. The stacks of galleys I receive as a book reviewer have taken over a whole table, organized by publication month.

On the table, at the moment, is the Penguin Classics edition of Dickens’ “Bleak House,” which I’ve always wanted to read. There’s Haynes Johnson’s ’90s postmortem “Divided We Fall,” because I’ve been tinkering with the idea of writing a book about the decade. There’s Kai Bird and Martin J. Sherwin’s “American Prometheus: The Triumph and Tragedy of J. Robert Oppenheimer,” because the movie is coming out soon and I might write something about it. There’s Mel Watkins’ “On the Real Side: A History of African American Comedy From Slavery to Chris Rock,” because it’s a great overview of one of my favorite subjects.

In buying books, I’m feeding the delusion that I will get to them all. Because, from my cockeyed perspective, it’s the noble thing to do. And perhaps it takes me back to better times. Yes, book sales are down. But I’m once again doing my part to right the ship.

#books #reading

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kamreadsandrecs · 9 months

Text

By Chris Vognar

Publisher’s Weekly recently reported that book sales for the first half of the year are down once again, continuing a trend that has accelerated since the pandemic.

#books #reading

0 notes

lovemesomesurveys · 2 years

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Are you the quietest among your social circle?

I don’t have a social circle or friends anymore.

What are you currently wearing?

That lovely hospital gown I’ve been rockin.

How many nicknames do you have?

Steph and Sis mainly. My fam and I also call each other Boob and Boobala lol.

How many messages have you received today?

Zero so far today.

Do you like to vent when you have a problem or keep it to yourself?

I tend to keep to myself in person, then vent and ramble online. It’s easier for me to write it all out.

What’s your favorite fashion trend?

I don’t know what’s even trendy these days.

What’s something you like to have many options to choose from?

Clothes, food, drinks, things to do.

What’s a modern device you would find difficult to live without?

My laptop and phone. Especially my phone nowadays, which I’ve come to use all the time since being here and giving me something to do. At least I can still come on here and whatnot.

Have you ever dried and preserved flowers?

I put my senior prom corsage in a Zip Loc bag and kept it. Of course it died that way, but yeah I still have it.

What is something you can’t imagine ever doing?

Skydiving. That’s never happening, trust me.

Would you count to 10,000 for $1,000 dollars?

Mehhhh.

When did you last take a selfie?

Over a month ago.

What was the last favor you done?

I don’t recall.

Are you currently watching something or listening to music?

I’m listening to an ASMR video.

Have you recently been sick?

I’m dealing with a lot of health related things right now.

Last coffee order you got

Regular with cream and sugar. I miss coffee so much 😩

Are you a naturally cheerful person?

No.

Have you ever listened to a song on repeat for hours? Which songs?

No not on repeat, but I’ll listen to it often.

How many surveys do you usually take in a weeks time?

I used to post a ton, but I’m not able to do that right now.

Current mood?

The usual: depressed, anxious, stressed, exhausted. And hungry.

What’s some positive news you’ve heard recently?

Any improvements that are made, no matter how small. I have to hold onto that.

Have you ever lost your taste and smell at the same time?

When I have a bad cold cause I’m all stuffed up, which affects my sense of taste.

Have you ever frolicked through a field?

No.

Do you eat at McDonalds?

Very rarely. I did more often in my younger days.

What’s a trait you dislike in some people?

I hate arrogance so much. <<< Sameee.

What is something you find unnecessary?

Hmm.

What is something you’d define as ethereal?

For me it’s being at the beach.

What’s an issue you’re currently experiencing?

Health stuff.

Are you or anyone in your family good singers?

Lol 🤐

Are you currently wearing something red?

No.

When did you last feel empty?

I’ve felt that for a long time.

What did you last consume that had sugar in it?

A cookie snd Pepsi over a month ago.

Are you ready for the upcoming season?

Yessss. Summer can go.

Have you ever had a bicycle accident?

No.

When did you last look up at the clouds?

*shrug*

Do you have a garden?

Nope.

When did you last have a bellyache?

A bit of one last night.

What did you last change?

My gown.

Do you find it annoying when people tell you to cheer up or just smile when you’re upset?

Extremely. It reallyyyy irks me when people say, “chill out” or “calm down”, though.

How often do you go outside?

Wasn’t often before, but especially now. The things I’ve taken for granted…

Is it currently hot where you live?

Ugh, YES. Triple digits all the time.

What did you do first thing when you got out of bed this morning?

Can’t get out of bed, but first thing I had done was the usual morning stuff nurses do like give meds and check things and whatnot.

Have you ever spent a whole day in bed?

Numerous days throughout my life. It’s been over a month now and I literally am in bed the entire day.

Are you more sensitive to heat or cold?

Heat for sure. I don’t do well at all.

What is something you are good at?

Nothing I feel like.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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the-bau-quinjet · 3 years

Text

Trending

Summary: Steve thinks you’re too young to like him despite the obvious hints you’re dropping.

Warnings: unspecified age gap

Word count: 2246

a/n: I’ve clearly spent too much time on TikTok recently, but inspired me to write something so that's good. It was loosely based on a request for a young reader x Steve, but I forgot part of the request so I'm gonna write something else for that one! Also, I wrote this on my phone so please excuse any typos I missed when trying to edit it lol

Masterlist

Messing with Steve is one of your favorite things to do. Tiny pranks, over the top flirting, poking fun at his lack of understanding of technology. Anything you can do to get him to roll his eyes and chuckle.

Nat would say it’s because of your feelings for him. She would be correct. Not that you’d ever admit that to anyone. Nope. So instead, you have your fun, and enjoy the way his eyes crinkle and his cheeks redden.

Your newest method of hearing the sweet sound of Steve’s laugh? TikTok. It’s a double whammy. One because he doesn’t understand the app and two because a lot of the trends make him blush.

It started as a fun way to blow off steam. Sometimes, being one of the younger and newer team members made you feel like an outsider. Of course, Peter was younger than you, but he had his own friends outside of the team. You didn’t have anyone else. When Tony found you and invited you to join, it was you against the world. Now you have this makeshift family.

Having your account on TikTok helped you when you hadn’t really become a part of the group yet. You bonded with Peter because of his account, and you found a new way to make Steve blush.

Anyway, you’ve learned way more TikTok dances than you ever would have thought just to see his pink cheeks. It’s not even always over the top dances that have him chuckling. The last trend you did had him laughing the entire day. It was that sound about Wednesday Adams having one thing on her mind. Only when it said homicide, instead of a deadpan expression you panned the camera to show Bucky and Sam arguing over who got the last donut.

Of course, you knew when you made the video it would appeal to Steve’s sense of humor. Sam and Bucky feature in a lot of your videos for that exact reason.

In general, you make a lot of videos featuring the Avengers just to keep Tony happy. He likes to be the center of attention, plus the only way he would approve of your account was if it could also feature as PR for the team. You agreed, as long as you had final say over what you posted. There’s nothing scripted or designed for a specific reason, you just feature the team sometimes.

Like when that sound from the Big Bang theory was popular amongst Avengers fans, you made a video confessing to Pepper that you’d been thinking about the Avengers, panning to show the team during training.

Of course, the text on the screen said “you are an Avenger” instead of “I believe that”, allowing you to play off the joke. But still, it was fun to include the team.

One of your favorite videos features none other than Scott Lang, mostly because nobody else would do it. Scott thought it was hilarious though.

Using the sound from New Girl, Scott played Schmidt and you Jess. The text on the screen read as follows:

Scott: You just walk around all day thinking about America’s Ass?

You: Yeah, don’t you?

Scott: No! How do you get anything done?

You: It’s hard…

Steve blushed like crazy when everyone cornered him to watch it. Bucky, Sam, and Tony wouldn’t stop bringing it up for at least a month. A part of you hoped he might make a move after that video, seeing as you put yourself out there, but he just assumed it was a joke and laughed it off.

Honestly, you were running out of trends that you could use to get him to understand your feelings. You only had two ideas left, and one of them would be mortifying if it didn’t work out…

“Steve. You’ve got to be kidding me.” Bucky sighed, exasperated with Steve for the umpteenth time that month. “You’ve been pining for forever, just make a move!” he whisper yelled, doing his best not to throttle his lifelong friend.

Steve rolled his eyes, purposefully ignoring Bucky’s pointed glare. The two men had spent the last hour looking through your TikTok account. Bucky was adamant that you liked Steve, but the blonde didn’t believe it, despite the so called proof Bucky kept forcing him to watch.

“Buck, would you please just back off? We’re friends. She’s too young to want to be with me like that.” Steve blushed, thinking about the context of his words.

Before Bucky could say anything about how repressing his feelings is bad for him, a new video popped up on your account. Bucky smirked when he saw the thumbnail was once again a picture of Steve, this time with a beard. Steve took the silence as an opportunity to escape, walking into his closet to change.

The video opened with a video of you and Natasha just hanging out, you lip syncing to the words “I like you have a cupcake.” You repeated the words as the video cut to you and Tony.

Bucky nearly dropped the phone when “smack my ass like a drum” blared from the speaker. He cackled bending over in a fit of laughter when he realized that’s what Steve’s picture was used for- and one where he had a beard to boot.

“What is it now, jerk?” Steve emerged from his closet, having changed into loungewear. The sight of Bucky fully cackling had him nervous.

Bucky tossed him the phone, doing his best to stop laughing long enough to tell him to watch the most recent video. With a hesitant sigh, Steve obliged.

Again, Bucky rolled his eyes at how obvious Steve’s feelings were. The second he saw you on the screen, he smiled. And not one of those half hearted polite smiles, a full on happy smile.

Steve’s eyes widened, nearly bulging out of his head when he got to the end of the video.

“‘She doesn’t want to be with me like that.’” Bucky mocked his friends earlier words, grabbing his phone back. “Punk, I don’t know how much more obvious she could be.”

With one more glare in Steve’s direction, Bucky finally left him to his own thoughts. Okay, so you made a lot of videos about how you find him attractive. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’d want to be in a relationship with him. Leave it to Steve to talk himself out of everything Bucky had spent so long trying to convince him of.

You were desperate at this point. You honestly thought the cupcake one would send him over the edge, but it didn’t work either. It has been three days, and you know Steve’s seen the video because everyone likes to tease him about it.

“Naaaaaat, it’s not working,” you whined, dramatically throwing yourself onto her bed. She laughed at your antics, briefly looking up at you before deciding to stop what she was going and give you her full attention.

“Look, not only is Steve one of the most clueless people I’ve ever met when it comes to women, but he can also talk himself out of believing someone’s interested in him. Especially you.” Nat watched as you lifted your head from her comforter, slowly turning to stare at her with narrowed eyes.

“Especially me?” you questioned. Why would you have a different standard?

“Y/N, Steve’s from the 40s. He’s super old fashioned. You're a hot young thing, super up to date on modern trends. He thinks you're just messing around as friends because he doesn’t believe someone as young as you would be interested in actually having a relationship with him,” she spelt it out for you, sick of trying to get you to figure it out on your own.

You took a minute to fully understand what she was saying, but then sat up when a new idea struck. “So you’re saying I need to be more direct?”

Her eyes narrowed, but she nodded nonetheless.

“I’ve got an idea. Thanks Nat!” you ran from the room before she could question your newest plan, instead checking to make sure her notifications were on for posts from your TikTok account.

“Steve!” you shouted when you saw him down the hall, about to turn a corner. He immediately stopped, turning back to see you running at him. “I need your help!”

You pulled him into the gym, briefly glancing around the room to make sure it was empty. Confirming nobody else was present, you set up your phone on one of the weight racks to record the two of you. It was already open to the recording section of TikTok, the sound you needed queued and ready to begin.

“What’s going on?” Steve looked between you and the phone, nerves heightening as he realized what you were doing. All of your videos about him thus far hasn’t actually involved him filming anything.

“I just need you to react to this trend, okay? It’s kind of old, but that doesn’t really matter,” you spoke quickly, trying to start the video before he could decline.

The music started playing instantly, with Steve awkwardly looking between the screen and you. He wasn’t sure what exactly he was reacting to, and it had him on edge. Just as the song reached the chorus, you turned and grabbed his face. Throwing caution to the wind, you followed through with your plan before you could back out, kissing him with all the passion and emotion you’d been holding back.

Steve froze, clearly surprised by your actions. Before you could pull away, he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer. He kissed you with equal passion and emotion, no longer paying attention to your phone recording the moment.

Neither of you noticed when the music cut off, too wrapped up in each other. When the need for air overpowered the desire to keep kissing him, you pulled back to gasp in a few breaths. Steve leaned his forehead against yours, eyes closed and breathing erratic.

The two do you spent the next few moments just breathing, trying to come to terms with what just happened. You gasped when his hands moved, one resting on your waist and the other cupping your cheek. His eyes were still closed when you chanced a glance at him.

“What was the trend?” he breathily whispered the words, still coming down from the high of kissing you.

“Huh?” you mumbled, unable to comprehend the question when he was still touching you like this.

“The TikTok trend? What was it?” his grip on your hip tightened, but his hand framing your face remained gentle.

“Oh, uh, it was- it was kissing your best friend/crush.” You whispered, heart still racing from his proximity. Your nerves had never been greater. Yeah, Nat always tells you that Steve has feelings for you, but what if he was just being polite? Maybe he didn’t know how to reject you when you kissed him out of nowhere, and now he’s trying to find a way to turn you down gently. What if-

“Was my reaction good enough to post?” he broke your train of thought with another question. You took a minute to think about the question, your brain still moving like molasses

“Um, that depends…” you froze when his eyes opened and stared into yours.

“On?” he prompted you to continue.

“Which caption I can use.” you finished the thought, finally remembering the two most common outcomes of the trend.

“What are the choices?” Steve smirked when you looked flustered, clearly not expecting this conversation.

“Uh, the two-” he began rubbing small circles into your hip with his thumb, effectively cutting off your train of thought again. It wasn’t until he lightly squeezed your hip again that you remember you were answering his question.

“Right! The two most common captions are some variation of ‘this was so awkward’ or ‘we’re dating now’,” you managed to blurt out the choices, blushing when he smiled at you.

“Well, I know which I prefer…” you waited with bated breath as he prolonged the silence, enjoying seeing you so on edge. You nearly whined when he let you go, moving to pick up your phone from the weight rack.

You watched in silence as he typed out a caption, tapping each letter with his pointer finger. A small smile formed on your lips at his adorable old man behavior. He then managed to find the post button, adding the video to your account before handing you the phone to see what he chose.

Your smile only grew after you read the caption, dropping the phone and immediately kissing him again.

Meanwhile, Nat had gathered the rest of the team that happened to be around to wait for whatever video you had planned to be posted.

Tony, Sam, Bucky, Wanda, Vision, Peter, and Clint all watched as the new video popped up on the screen. Peter bounced with excitement when he heard the song, instantly recognizing the trend. The rest of the group watched as you kissed Steve, mouths gaping open when he actually kissed you back.

Fans were already commenting about how long it took for the two of you to get together, but the team was too focused on laughing at the caption to pay any mind to the comments.

She said the trend was kind of old, but that fits because I’ve got a habit of waiting too long anyways.

Permanent taglist: @averyhotchner @jesuswasnotawhiteman @strawberryspence @sebastnstn @jswessie187 @ellobruv

Marvel: @leyannrae @livstilinski @oceaniamaddness @justreadingficsdontmindme

#Steve Rogers x reader #Steve Rogers x you #Steve Rogers x y/n #Steve Rogers fluff #Steve Rogers one shot #Steve Rogers fic

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ptergwen · 3 years

Text

sensation

w/c: 4.6k

warnings: some swearing, suggestive tings, and a pretty bad ending

summary: it’s the last night of your world tour, and tom has the perfect way to celebrate

a/n: i know y’all have been waiting for this one! everyone really loved when worlds collide but i ran out of ideas for it lol sorry... anyways my solution was to turn it into a oneshot :D based off the au!! i’m honestly nervous about posting this cuz a lot of you asked for it and i don’t wanna disappoint but i tried my absolute hardest to make it special <3 please enjoy

“thank you so much! we love you!” you shout to the audience, laughing breathlessly when they shout back. one of your dancers pulls you into a side hug, you throwing your arm around his neck. “we’re so fucking lucky you chose us, that you came all the way here. i’ve seen some of you back at night one. wow.” your voice gets wobbly, thinking about how loyal your fans are.

the tour started in new york, and they’ve followed you here to london.

tonight is an emotional night for everyone. you’re about to wrap your last show before you continue again in the summer. touring the u.k. has been a dream, and you’re just as thrilled to travel the rest of the world after your break. it’s bittersweet because you’re going to miss the hell out of your crew and the millions of lovely faces you’ve sang to each week. but, you do get to spend your time off with a special someone.

he’s watching you from the sound booth, sending fond smiles and loud cheers your way. thanks to you, tom has been at every show you’ve played in england. he brought harry along this time because he’s also a fan and wanted to see you. well, tom is more than a fan at this point. you’d say he’s more of a boyfriend. you haven’t discussed labels just yet.

your dates have mainly been over facetime, since you live on opposite sides of the world with insane schedules. a heartthrob actor and international popstar is quite the combination. you’ve only seen each other in person a couple of times, the first being pretty recently.

zendaya brought tom along to hang out with you in los angeles. he happened to be there recording some lines for a movie. she saw your concert earlier that night and invited him to crash the dinner plans you’d made, resulting in the best surprise and most fun you’ve ever had. the other time you enjoyed each other’s company was one weekend in paris. that was... something.

besides those two miracles, everything between you and tom happens through a screen. you’ll down bottles of champagne or keep warm under blankets while talking about your days. it’s nice, having someone on the other end who listens and actually hears you. tom gets it. you both do.

finishing your tour in london is convenient because not only will you have tom to comfort you, but you get to stick around for a while. he’s invited you to stay at his place. you can’t wait to meet the other holland’s, his friends, and obviously tessa.

“fuck, i’m gonna cry. i’m already crying,” you announce to the crowd, though they can tell from the tears streaming down your face. more dancers huddle around you and turn your single hug into a group one. you’re laughing and sobbing and holding on tight to everyone. fans bawl their own eyes out, the fact that this is it starting to settle in. the onstage crew even gets choked up, seeing you like this.

tom pouts from where he’s watching. he wishes he could run up there and squeeze you tight, but he’ll have to save that for when you’re done.

“i love you all so much, literally every single one of you in this room,” you tell everyone for the nth time tonight, swiping a perfectly manicured finger under your eyes. “my lighting crew, sound crew, my band, my fearless fucking dancers-“ a hiccup cuts you off. people burst into fits of giggles, which is a much needed tension breaker. you adjust your headset so the mic doesn’t pick up any other bodily noises.

grinning, you rest your arm on a shorter dancer’s shoulder, then go on. “sorry, sorry. i just wanna say, like, three more thank you’s before i get out of here.” there’s a chorus of no’s and encouraging whistles at the mention of you leaving. you blink back more tears to delay the breakdown you’re going to have. “thank you to my friends who always show up for me.”

with a knowing smile, you glance over at tom. “and, thank you to my more than a friend.” he smiles back, both hands held over his heart. harry elbows him in congratulations. more screaming erupts from the crowd as they realize where you’re looking and who you’re looking at. this will be sure to spark some headlines. whatever, you’re used to trending on every possible social media platform by now.

“this is the big one,” you preface, taking in a breath while everyone quiets down again. “thank you to you guys. for trusting me, for caring about what i have to say in any way. i feel your love. i really do, and i hope you feel mine.” your fans yell that they love you back, dancers gently swaying you side to side, emotions on high. there’s one last song, and it’s over.

“this has been the sensation tour, and i’ve been your host. was i good?” you try to lighten the mood, earning a bunch of what sound like positive shrieks. the earpiece you have in makes it hard to tell. “y’all were even better.” exchanging looks with your dancers, you pull out of the hug so you can get to your mark for the finale. they follow your lead. music comes through the speakers.

“i’ll see you again soon, okay? i promise. here’s sensation,” you introduce the song, immediately bursting into more tears. it’s torture to say goodbye. thankfully, you have the most incredible fans on earth, so they sing along with you at the top of their lungs. that includes tom and harry, your ultimate stans.

when the show is over, you run right off stage and over to tom. he’s waiting on the side with actual heart eyes for you. you practically leap into his arms, a hand cradling the back of his head, both his arms draped low and tight around your body.

“you were so amazing up there! absolutely smashed it, darling,” tom breathes out. his face is smushed between your neck and mostly bare chest. “thanks, tom. seriously, thanks for being here tonight and every other.” you smile a tired smile and wind your other arm around his neck. he presses some light you’re welcome kisses to your skin. “mm, thanks for having me. how’s it feel to be done?”

you sigh, fingers running through his curls. “like the biggest relief, and also really sad.” you’re such a mess that you could cry again on the spot. tom senses it and lifts his head up to see if you’re alright. “super depressing,” you surprisingly reiterate without the waterworks. “i know the feeling. you’ll be back soon, though. you said it,” he murmurs, a grin on his lips as they brush against the corner of yours.

you’re about to kiss him properly, then one of your dancers comes up to you. you’d forgotten that there are still stage managers and security everywhere, too. you get completely lost in tom whenever you’re together.

“you killed, babe,” coco greets you, linking your arm in hers. tom takes the hint and lets go of you. he watches on with a smirk. “nah, you murdered,” you send the compliment back and bite your lower lip. “i dunno, i feel like someone murdered me!” there’s coco with her dramatics. she’s genuinely hilarious, your shared sense of humor playing a huge part in your friendship.

she brings your free hand to her heart. you gasp at how fast it’s going. “that shit is really beating, coco. are you, like, okay?” “probably not. it was the freestyle that got me.” coco went a lot harder than usual tonight, since it was her last big dance break for a while. she puffs air from her cheeks and nods to tom. “this your man?”

“yeah, you could say that. i’m tom,” he answers, holding out a hand for her. “coco.” she pulls it like you would in a handshake. you beam at them, one of your best friends and unofficial boyfriend finally meeting. “sounds promising. i approve,” coco mutters to you. bumping your hip into hers playfully, you take one of tom’s hands in both of yours.

“aw, we have your blessing or something? your permission?” you coo and get a push at your shoulder from coco in return. tom chuckles, his thumb running over the back of your hand. “no! i was gonna say you should bring him out back,” coco clarifies, like it was obvious. you’re not sure what she’s on about. “uh, what’s out back?” you question. “an axe?” tom teases.

coco gestures to the nearest exit. “we’re having a little goodbye party in the parking lot. fire pit, snacks. remember?” nope, you’d completely forgotten. the idea first sounded like the perfect way to end your night, so you agreed to go. that was before you were dripping sweat and mentally exhausted. now, all you want to do is unwind with tom and tom only.

the superstar life is one you’re happy to lead, just not at this exact moment.

“i do now.” you muster up your most apologetic smile for coco, tugging on tom’s hand. “i’m sorry, co. i think we’re gonna pass.” her jaw drops. you’re never one to skip these things. “aw, for real? it’s our last night!” tom threads his fingers through yours while you talk. “bro, we’ve been together for almost a whole year,” you laugh out, nuzzling your cheek into tom’s chest. “get sick of me.”

“never,” coco deadpans. she catches you gazing up at tom, relaxing as his arms hug your middle. she’s known you long enough to tell what’s a fling and what’s real love for you. this is something special, and she can’t get in the way of it. she’ll let you navigate this yourself. “ok, just for tonight. you’ll text me?” coco gives you a real smile, raising an eyebrow at tom. he gathers that’s a good thing. he’s in.

“mhm. maybe we can hang out tomorrow,” you agree and let your eyes flutter shut. all that’s keeping you up are tom’s strong arms. “tell everyone i love them.” “i think they know.” coco shakes her head lightheartedly. tom laughs at her. “be good,” she tells him and means it, rubbing your back on her way to the lot. that leaves you and tom alone at last.

custodians are cleaning up the arena, fans are piling out, and you’re clinging to tom while his steady heartbeat grounds you. this is the only after party you need.

“harry’s got the car when you’re ready,” tom mumbles, tucking a piece of damp hair behind your ear. you loop your arms around his torso with a hum. “i was kinda wondering where he went.” “yeah?” he gives you a small smile. “gotta ask what he thought... of the show.” yawns are creeping past your lips, tonight’s events catching up to you.

“i like feedback from the fans, or stans,” you elaborate in your sleepy state. tom uses his fingertips to tap your temple. “what about me? i’m your biggest.” “i’ll, um, follow up with you later.” your words are slurring. “right now, home.” warmth spreads throughout tom’s entire body, his house becoming yours for a bit. “your chariot awaits,” he affirms before helping you to your dressing room.

after collecting your things, you follow tom out to the car. harry is in the driver’s seat, and you two slip into the back. he exchanges a look with his brother through the mirror while you settle on his shoulder. you’re hugging his bicep, his lips pressing to the side of your head.

“thank you for driving,” you speak softly to harry. he starts to pull out of the spot with a nod. “no problem. get to say i was y/n y/l/n’s chauffeur.” tom clicks his tongue even though harry is joking. you snicker at his remark, joking back. “you want the job? better be a five star ride, then.” your banter brings yet another smile to tom’s face. his family is everything to him, so seeing you get along so well means the most.

“right, right. did you have a good time?” harry wonders, twisting to see behind him while he turns around. he also peeks at you snuggled up to tom before facing forward. “great, actually. did you?” you check, the grin clear in your voice. harry goes into full stan mode. “no shit! you were brilliant, y/n. god, every note was just like how you did it the studio.” he’s raving, which is much appreciated by you.

“good answer.” tom shoots his brother a wink. “‘s that what you wanted to hear?” he asks in reference to your conversation earlier. your response is a kiss to his shoulder. “yay. i’m happy you liked it, harry.” he buzzes with excitement, having his favorite artist care what he thinks.

not much is said for the rest of the drive. tom and harry make some hushed conversation about golfing this weekend while you struggle to stay awake. they’re obsessed with that damn sport. it’s honestly nice to see, that tom has something he likes to do when he isn’t shooting hollywood’s biggest movies. your free time will finally give you the chance to discover other hobbies.

you stumble out of the car upon arriving to the boys’ place, a backpack on your shoulders and tom’s hand held tight in yours. you’ve got only a few essentials with you for tonight. the rest is on the tour bus, so you’ll gather it after your hangout with coco. besides, everything you need at the moment is right here.

“home sweet home,” tom announces as harry unlocks the front door. his words bring a tired smile to your face. “finally,” you exhale, keeping your fingers laced with tom’s and following the two of them inside. “i could show you around a bit, give you the grand tour. or-“ tom stops talking, feeling your weight on him. harry huffs at how oblivious his brother is.

“mate, she’s falling over. save it,” he suggests and kicks the door shut lazily. you’re done in. you’ve been having to lean on tom since the show ended. “another time, then,” tom mumbles, securing his arm around your waist. “there is one thing i wanna see.” your voice is low, body curled into tom’s side. he raises an eyebrow. “and that is?” “your room.”

tom takes that in a suggestive way, like he does most things. “we’re getting right to it, are we?” he questions, harry gagging and you nudging his arm with your head. “not like that, dummy. ‘cuz i’m sleepy.” there’s a beat of silence. “ask me again in-“ “wow, look at the time!” harry interrupts so he doesn’t have to hear the details. he’s sure he’ll witness enough after it happens. “off to bed i go! goodnight.”

he rushes to get to his room, yelling out, “great show, y/n!” on the way. “thank you! night!” you call back, tom letting out a sigh. “div of the century,” he says under his breath. “must run in the family,” you playfully retort. that gets you a firm poke at your side. “where’s everyone else?” you glance up at him. there should be two other idiots and a lovely, furry lady running around.

“tuwaine’s gone to the pub, harrison’s filming late, and tess is at mum and dad’s,” tom fills you in, grabbing your arm and draping it around his middle. doing him one better, you hug him with both. you squint in confusion about the last part. “they watch her when i’m out,” tom answers your unspoken question. “ah,” you nod, then deflate ever so slightly. “i wanted to meet her, though. the other boys, too.”

tom smooths the pad of his thumb over your cheek. “you will, darling. it’s only for tonight.” he kisses the same spot reassuringly. “we’ve got loads of time.” “yeah, we do,” you agree, instantly cheering up and letting your head fall onto his chest. “now, where’s your room?” “just upstairs. you need some help getting in?” he’s only playing around, but you accept, tightening your arms around his neck.

“show me the way,” you beam at him. “happy to.” tom wiggles his eyebrows, you jumping up. your legs wrap around his waist, his arms holding you against him. with a satisfied hum, you squish your face into his insanely soft shirt. “what a diva,” tom sarcastically complains while taking you to the staircase. “doesn’t even say please. no manners from this one.”

“you try dancing in six inch heels for two hours,” you shoot back, patting the side of his neck. he moves one hand down to your thigh for a better grip. you’re nearing the top of the stairs. “think i’ll leave that to you,” he decides and squeezes your thigh. “look at me, carrying the whole music industry.” your face easily gets hot and your words turn to murmurs. “shut up. you should listen to other songs.”

you’re on the second floor now, tom going for the first door. he frowns at his rejected compliment. “no, i like yours. they’re my favorite.” “really?” your muffled laugh sounds from his chest. “what was the first thing i ever said to you?” he asks, a toothy grin on him even though you can’t see it. you recall the faithful night he slid into your dms while he carries you into his room.

he’d tripped over his words somehow, the fangirling fool. before that, he tweeted to the whole world that he wanted to see you in concert. it was a huge thing, and people were freaking out about it, even more so when your online interactions became routine. that’s nothing compared to where you are now.

you’re currently living with him and basically dating. possibly, in love. the base of it all really is your music.

“that you love me.” you pause for the ellipses. the corners of your lips turn up. “but, you really meant to say my work.” “both apply.” tom passes that off like it’s a side comment, carefully laying you down on his bed. you look up at him with a curious glint in your eyes. “what does that mean?” his cheeks flush, and he bites back the smile that’s growing. this was supposed to go... differently.

you sit up, breathing out a laugh at tom’s boyish behavior. he’s precious, truly. “you do love me?” those three words will change everything if he says yes. he takes both your hands in his and holds them between you two. you meet his doe eyes. “yeah, y/n/n. i do.” so, you were right. “i love you... and, that wasn’t how i planned on saying it.” signaling for him to elaborate, you tilt your head to the side.

tom sits down next to and faces you before continuing. “it was supposed to be romantic, right?” he rolls his eyes up to the ceiling, annoyed he ruined this. “candlelit dinner, flowers, that sort of thing. seems more fitting for the occasion.” you shift closer to him until your knees are touching. your face is lit up, voice dropped to almost a whisper.

“since when do we do things the way we’re supposed to?” you point out and set your hands on his shoulders. “we’ve gone straight from online dating to me moving in. that’s usually not how it works.” tom chuckles lowly. his own hands find their place on your hips. you’re so good with words. then again, you are a singer. “guess you could say we’re, um, spontaneous,” he agrees, fingers drawing circles on you.

you and tom have explored some of each other’s most intimate places, yet you’ve never shared a moment quite like this. it’s like meeting him for the first time again. he’s too tongue tied to spit out what he wants. you somehow know, anyway. what you cherish most about your relationship is that you two completely and totally understand one another, on every level.

“tom?” you speak quietly, butterflies filling up your body. “hm?” he hums back. this is one of those moments where it all just clicks. “i love you. i really, really love you.” you giggle out of the pure happiness that consumes you, tom joining in your laughter. “i love you, too.” he sounds like he’s said it a million times and he’ll say it a million more. he leans over so his forehead rests on yours. “really, really love you.”

your warm breath hits his face, eyes darting from his own to his lips. “i want you to be more than...” you trail off, unsure of how to phrase it. “more than... more than a friend?” tom pokes fun at what you said during the show. there’s less and less space between you with every second. “you mean, like, a boyfriend?”

“exactly. be my boyfriend,” you all but demand. you’re half asleep and desperate to be able to call him yours already. “bossy, bossy, bossy,” tom chastises, swiping his thumb across your bottom lip. how he goes from being shy and giddy to the cockiest person alive in minutes, you’ll never know. “please?” you throw in to sway him. your hand locks with his, slowly moving it off your face.

you run your tongue over your teeth. “at least kiss me.” “you don’t have to ask,” tom breathes, lips now ghosting over yours. “i was going to.” true to his words, he closes the microscopic gap between you, you pushing forward against him as you kiss back. your first kiss in love. his lips taste like the chapstick he always uses, and he moves them softly.

he places a hand on your knee, you opening your mouth so he can have access to it. instead, a yawn exits. tom pulls back with a breathy laugh. “you must be exhausted, yeah? let’s get you to bed.” he pecks your lips once more. “my girl needs her beauty rest.” that confirms your relationship. you scrunch your nose and grin wide. “and, she’s gonna get some with her boy.”

you’re reminded of how sweaty you are when you catch a whiff. “oof, wait. do you think i can take a shower first?” you grimace, fanning at the air for emphasis. tom uses the tip of his nose to nudge yours. “absolutely. need help in there, too?” he’s not asking in that way, only so nothing happens. the hospital wouldn’t be the most pleasant place to spend your break. plus, he doesn’t want to be without you too long.

“you know what? yeah.”

that’s how you end up intertwined under the hot water, letting it cascade down your back as tom hugs you close to him. you sigh in content and tangle your fingers in his fluffed over curls. you’ve learned that he’s super into having his hair played with. it’s endearing, how he instinctively leans into your touch, eyes closing as you tug on the roots.

he drops his head down to kiss your shoulder, dragging his lips to your collarbone in a way that tickles. they land on one of your breasts next. there isn’t anything sexual about it, only loving. just in case he gets too excited because it’s not uncommon he does, you gently put a finger to his lips. tom takes the hint and lets up. you continue combing through his wet hair while you step out of the water.

“do you ever sing in the shower?” he questions, drawing your naked body in closer to his. “sometimes, yeah. i honestly feel like i sound better there,” you admit and slide your hand down to the nape of his neck. tom’s tongue darts out to lick his lips. “not true. you sound beautiful everywhere, and don’t fight me on this one.” he smirks in satisfaction, you groaning at your loss.

“i really enjoy hearing your voice when it blares through an arena, though,” tom keeps buttering you up. you shake your head and settle both arms around his neck. “man, i just love you so much.” “i love you, sweetheart,” he murmurs back, you switching places so he can give his hair a final rinse. you watch him and his glowing body, admiring the sight.

“what a sensation you are,” you say mostly to yourself, which doesn’t stop him from hearing. “i see what you did there.” he eyes you while you do the same to him. your arms still around his neck pull him back to you. “tommy? do you sing in the shower?” you meant to ask him before, then he started throwing all those compliments at you.

tom scoffs, walking you back so you’re against the wall. “i don’t sing anywhere.” “what?” you gasp and put a hand on his chest. “you’re lying, you have to be. wasn’t billy elliot a musical?” he narrows his eyes at you as he tries to gage where you’re going with this. “that i did a decade ago, and way before puberty. couldn’t sing a word without cracking after that.”

your mouth is left hanging open in shock and disappointment. you bet he has a nice voice, and he’s downplaying it. “y/n,” tom begins, cupping your jaw with his palm. “since we’re living together now, there’s a lot you’re going the learn about me. good things, weird things.” he shrugs casually. “this is one of the weird things.”

“only because you make it weird! come on, let me hear you,” you request and wrap a leg around his waist. you’re giving him a hopeful smile. “god, no. you’ll hate it,” he almost laughs, a hand on your thigh. “i’m literally a singer. how could i hate something i love?” you refute, batting your lashes at him. “especially when someone i love is doing it.” “i love you, too. but, i’m not.” he’s quick to shut you down.

“drop a bar!” you try to coax him, which he already has a comeback for. “you first.” “i can’t. my throat is all scratchy from earlier,” you lie. tom presses his lips into a line, feigning pity. “aw, you know what’ll make you feel better? tea. i’ll go get you some.” he turns to shut the water off, so you grab his shoulders. “no, the steam is working. you can stay.”

“love,” tom addresses you in a warning tone that you can’t take seriously. he can’t either, a giggle escaping him. “my voice is shit. ask anyone, and they’ll tell you.” “i won’t believe them,” you hum, pushing back curls sticking to his forehead. “sounds like you just have stage fright. we can work on that, though.” “how?” he tightens his arm around your middle.

“i’ll bring you on for my next show. we’ll do a little duet.” you’re joking, though that would definitely be interesting to see unfold. “uh, never. what happened to you being tired?” tom cleverly deflects and digs his fingers into your side. you look down in defeat. “i forgot about that.” “yeah, yeah. no, seriously. we should really get to sleep, y/n/n.” he’s back to his sweet, attentive self. “‘s been a long night.”

giving in with a nod, you capture his lips in yet another kiss. tom never gets tired of them, and neither do you. you break it after a few seconds, lips lingering on his as they detach. “carry me?” you ask again, not caring how whiny you sound. tom presses a quick kiss to your forehead. “oh, you’re adorable. of course.”

well, you’ve found something to keep you occupied until the next leg of tour. you’re going to discover the many layers your intriguingly unusual boyfriend has.

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland au #tom holland smut #tom holland imagine #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x singer!reader #tom holland request #peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker smut #peter parker x reader

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sapphicvampyy · 2 years

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Continued my killing eve finale thoughts, this was bad writing because they just killed her, and she didn’t need to she could have been happy with the love of her life, this felt personal like Eve was being punished for being with V like the writers snarkly saying of course this was also going to happen it didn’t need to be like this they could have been together and been happy, this was just getting this stupid morality shoved down our throats and you know what I’m fucking tired of it, the same shit happened in I care a lot, the 100, women characters always get punished the men characters never get punished why the fuck is walter white still alive??? But Villanelle is dead, women characters and specifically queer/ lesbian/ sapphic women characters get punished very very harshly and this is an on going trend, fictional men do so much bad and get happy endings but of course sweet Villanelle couldn’t, because why? Are they afraid women will see this strong powerful women and think they too can be strong and powerful and rise up against the bullshit that men bring? That how dare a character who is so unencumbered by men get a happy a ending with the woman she loves, how stupid of us for even thinking this is a possibility this is absolute fucking bullshit imagine pouring your heart into a character for four years and having writers that don’t know how to write, I said what I said, give this piss ass shit ending. And this is a trend I’ve seen recently I think writing is getting worse particularly in the tv show area, the only really big film example I can think of this is The Last Jedi but anyways it’s like writers equate satisfying cohesive storytelling with fan service they are not the same thing AT ALL if you leave a bread crumbs and some fans figure it out guess what you’ve done told a cohesive fucking story, but lately there’s been this bullshit trope of shocking the audience and anything to shock the audience and it doesn’t make fucking sense for the story, and it doesn’t add anything it’s just shock factor a cheap gimmick that cheapens the writing I think this of excessive gore as well shock factor cheapens the project that’s my personal opinion and in my opinion if you have to rely on shock factor your not a very creative writer, if the only way you can heighten stakes is by killing off a character you need to go back to the drawing board im sick of this aversion to happy endings in storytelling not everything needs to have a happy ending, but some things do and it doesn’t cheapen the story to have a happy ending but guess what shock factor does. I don’t know how to make these writers know how to tell better satisfying stories. Let alone with queer women characters who always get punished im just sick of it I will always have villanelle and love her and she will be there for me and the show but this ending what an utter betrayal to the fans, no one liked this ending I remember reading a review in season 2 about how they should have just let Eve give into villanelle then, and they have always been afraid to do it and it does read a little homophobic and they most definitely did do the bury your gays trope, this character meant so much to so many people and she deserved better and we deserved better. And villaneve deserved better. I’m still heartbroken. Learn how to write. You know what we should get articles written about this we should make a stink about this I don’t know how else to get these writers to learn that bury your gays isn’t cute and having a character that’s been through so much trauma just be killed off so brutally isn’t okay especially when men characters get away with everything, looks like in fiction that’s the case as well. We gotta let them know we’re fucking tired of this as women as queer women, as queers we want happy endings and of course don’t just keep a character alive because there queer but they didn’t need to do that for the story they could have ended on the hug but they chose not too now of course don’t harass those god awful writers or whoever made that choice I’m sure some more than

#killingeves4 #killing eve finale spoilers #killing eve thoughts #my thoughts about the finale continued im heartbroken

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concerningwolves · 3 years

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Question for you! I see Fae show up a lot in the fantasy genre, and I really love it and want to play with those ideas in some of my own works, but I was wondering — is this something that can be mishandled? I’ve seen some discussion on things to look out for in terms of insensitive portrayal of neurodivergence, but I’ve also just been mulling over the fact that there is a lot of very rich folklore that varies depending on what culture you’re looking at, and that there is potential to disrespect that out of simple fascination for the trope. Being extremely American with no cultural ties to the folklore, I’m just not sure. Is there harm that can be done by sicking solely to the tried and true tropes, or alternatively, by trying to put a new creative spin on those ideas? So sorry if this doesn’t make very much sense, this was harder to put into words that I expected. I was just wondering if you might have any thoughts or advice on this

Oh, this is a nice question for me. Thank you, Nonny :3

Full disclaimer: folklore and mythology, particularly relating to the fae, is my special interest. That doesn't mean I'm an expert in myths and folklore (or the linked history/anthropology). I'm just a person who spends inordinate amounts of time thinking about these things and am exceedingly happy to infodump on the drop of a hat. So, my word isn't law, I'm always happy to hear other opinions, please correct me if I make a mistake etc etc.

"Can you mishandle writing the fae?" is something i have many thoughts on. If you'd asked me this a few years ago, I'd have been all "yes you can, the fae have been appropriated and butchered by popular culture blah blah blah" because I was insufferably anal about things being Correct. But lately, I've come to really love just how vast this – I guess you could call it the popular culture faerie mythos – is. So much of it isn't what a folklore purist would consider correct, but I'm fascinated by how these folkloric figments have evolved and become ingrained in the general psyche nonetheless.

I think writing the fae can become harmful if writers use Welsh/Irish/Scottish folklore as their base without properly researching or without an awareness of the historical context. There's this trend of ignoring centuries of actual history from these countries and instead creating a very warped idealistic fiction. For example, if a writer presents a fantasy world with faeries and says "This is based on Welsh mythology" and then goes on to perpetuate such bunkum as "they all worship a mystical moon goddess" then that's Very Not Good. Similarly, if a writer says "here is my fantasy faery race, they're based on Celtic [Irish] mythology" then I'm going to have some Problems with that, because Celtic mythology and Irish mythology aren't the same thing. (The Celts were an Indo-European people comprised of many cultures and tribes, spread from Ireland to central Europe. While their influence in Ireland is clear, not everything Irish is Celtic and vice versa).

Irish, Welsh and Scottish cultures have historically been persecuted by the English, and that shows in how the English retconned their respective folkloric beliefs to create the British fairy mythos. It's something writers ought to be mindful of but generally aren't imho. This "British" faerie mythos is actually a melting pot of Irish, Scottish, Welsh and Nordic folklore with a healthy dose of medieval romanticism. It's what gave us the popular images of the Seelie and Unseelie ("good" and "bad") faerie courts, wherein the fae are generally more "civilised" (read: like Proper British Victorians) and have humanoid appearances. I don't think that any story which uses this bastardised fairy mythology is automatically bad, but I do get wary when writers plunge into it without giving any thought to why the British fairy image is Like That.

I recently listened to Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell by Susanna Clarke and I was absolutely enthralled. Clarke's fairies are based on the medieval romantic image of them, particularly medieval children's tales. They exist in the realm of Fairy, which is near to Hell, and have a society that falls somewhere between feudalism and the Victorian. What gripped me was how Clarke used the Bastardised British Fairy Lore to create this... almost satirical criticism of "Englishness" and what the English identity actually means (without tiptoeing around xenophobia, arrogance and racism). It's very much based on this bastardised British "folklore" but it works because that's the whole point. I found it thoroughly fascinating and enjoyable and basically haven't stopped thinking about it for a month.

I do get very excited when writers take a new angle with faeries, too! Like, Eoin Colfer's faries in the Artemis Fowl books were so cool. (Bearing in mind it's been ten years since I picked up an Artemis Fowl book, and I never read the whole series so most of what I know I've absorbed via late night Wiki reads and Tumblr osmosis, but anyway—) They live underground, which is a very neat take on the Irish Aos Sí. Irish fae folklore has the faeries living in mounds, as in, every mound in Ireland is its own faerie "court". Colfer's faeries call themselves the People, again, a play on the Irish because their name means People of the Mounds. I think what Colfer did was an extremely neat way of calling on Irish mythology to create a cool new fairy concept.

What you say about being American is an intriguing point in itself, too. I've said before that the American cryptid culture is simply delightful, because although it isn't what one would think of when you talk about folklore, that's exactly what it is. American culture is a melting pot. Which is to say, yes, as an American you won't have a lived cultural experience of, say, Irish folklore and how it impacts modern day life there, but there are elements of it all around you! Think about how in states where it's common to see vast fields of corn, it's also common for tales of corn demons. Sure, maybe that sounds like a weird tale some kids tell to scare one another, but to me it sounds a lot like the feldgiester of Germanic folklore.

American Gods by Neil Gaiman explores this concept that immigrants and settlers brought their own gods and mythological/folkloric creatures with them. I often think about this part of the book that talks about a faerie man who followed an Irishwoman to America because she always left out cream for him. I found that really heartwarming in this way that I can't quite explain. If you're into contemporary fantasy epics, I definitely recommend American Gods!

Sorry, I know this answer is getting quite rambly but I guess I... don't have a solid answer. Like I said, this is very much in my special interest wheelhouse BUT I'm not an expert. When I started out reading more about faeries and their various mythos I consumed a lot of nonsense, and I'm slowly sifting back through and unlearning much of what I took as gospel fact. I don't want to sound like I'm telling you what you can or can't do because that isn't my place (nor is it anyone else's). Really all you can do is listen to people from the cultures you're drawing from and research carefully and critically.

Happy writing! (*^▽^*)

#faeries

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onrainynights · 3 years

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why you can't compare buddie to destiel (from someone who ships both)

this is kind of addressing the recent negativity in the buddie tag, but it's also a collection of my thoughts and reasoning for being buddie-positive despite my experiences with destiel and spn in general. the text of 911 is not really discussed at all, and this is relatively spoiler-free, so if you're thinking of watching 911 I encourage you to read it. if you haven't seen both shows it probably won't make perfect sense, but I wrote this with spn fans who haven't seen 911 in mind, since that's most of my followers (and also seems to be where much of the negativity was coming from) pretty long post under the cut to save your dash

I just want to prepare y'all for the fact that buddie could be the slow burn will they/won't they mlm romance we've been waiting for practically forever.

at this point it's not fair to call it queerbait because where their relationship is now fits the characters and their development. this is not like destiel, where there were many moments over the years that could've ended with them getting together and it would've made sense with the story. buddie right now is in this sweet, wholesome pre-relationship kind of place, which on its own is a compelling dynamic and so fun and good to see. a resolution of it right now would feel out of character—they both still have some development to do before that would feel natural. and so, I don't think we can really call it queerbaiting unless the characters get to that point and there is still no resolution.

also I'd like to point out the overall positivity from the cast when it comes to buddie. both Eddie's and Buck's actors have said (I'm paraphrasing cast statements in this post unless they are in quotations) positive things about the pairing, and Buck's actor has said that he likes the interpretation of Buck as queer, and he would be happy if the writers took his character in that direction. also Eddie's actor with "that's what they all say" when buddie was referred to as a "bromance". Jennifer Love Hewitt, who plays Buck's sister (another main character), is very supportive of buddie, saying she's "rooting for it", that it would be "amazing", she doesn't "see how it couldn't happen one day". this was in response to hearing that a fan insists Buck and Eddie will be a couple. She flat-out said "I think so, too." She jokes about buddie with Buck's and Eddie's actors all the time. Also, my favorite bit from the video of her saying all this, "Let's manifest it together!"

It's safe to say this is a VERY different environment to spn. I don't think I've ever seen a cast this positive about a show's main non-canon queer ship before. NEVER. I think it's safe to say that if/when buddie is canonized, the cast will be just as excited as the fans—at least JLH will be! Add into the fact that the show's PR seems to be leaning into bi buck and buddie right now, it's a VERY different vibe than spn had, definitely. There's no gaslighting of the fans here, at least not that I've seen. also, although 911 has a large casual viewership, I think it's safe to say the GA would not be upset by buddie—there are only 3 serious, long-term romantic relationships involving main characters in this show, and one of them is a lesbian marriage with two children. And yes, the characters are shown being lesbians, it's not just a stated fact; the audience is privy to their relationship (and their interactions with their adorable kids). I think it's safe to say that buddie would go over well with the fans, even the casual viewers (of which there are many). buddie doesn't seem to be a huge divider in fandom like destiel is, either. reactions generally seem to be either "I ship it" or "I don't care either way."

Also I'd like to point out that while yes, it's possible that buddie is only bait (which would be disappointing), there's a reason queerbaiting works. people WANT to be queerbaited, because it's nearly indistinguishable from a slow burn will they/won't they queer romance. queerbaiting allows fans to make theories, create fan content (including fic), and keeps them engaged with the dynamic and the show. fans who are vulnerable to queerbaiting want a slow burn will they/won't they queer romance, which is currently an almost completely untapped market. spn could've tapped it, but despite the huge fandom they did not. there are SO MANY people outside of spn fandom who want a slow burn mlm romance, one that keeps the audience guessing, one that's will they/won't they, one that is not guaranteed, and that is why queerbaiting works so well. the audience doesn't just want the payoff, they also want the build-up. the longer the build-up, the higher the payoff, and the suspense of the build-up is gone if you know from the start that the payoff is definitely coming. that's part of why malec from shadowhunters didn't fully tap this market—there was no question of if, only the question of when (which wasn't really a question either, given there was an episode in season 1 literally titled "malec" when they got together.) the characters were always queer, the show being an adaptation of a book series where they were in a relationship and eventually had children together.

this was why November 5th was such a big deal—fans were so far past the will they/won't they aspect of destiel, firmly believing that destiel would always end as a "won't they" and not a "will they" that when cas confessed his romantic love for dean, destiel trended on Twitter over the US election. you all know that story, but maybe not everyone reading this knows that after Nov. 5 there was a case of hundreds if not thousands of spn fans experiencing love sickness because of the confession scene. the payoff of making destiel fully canon (and reciprocated, in English) would've been huge. fans would've been throwing their money at the c/w.

which leads me to the possibility (this is not at all me saying that I think this happened or even is likely, just that it's one possibility that /could/ have happened) that buddie started as bait, that the writers never intended for them to be a couple, but saw fan reactions to buddie during season 2 and started to lean into it in season 3 (and 4 so far, but it just started so I don't want to make any generalized statements about it) possibly still as bait or maybe not deciding yet if they'll go anywhere with it. and then maybe they saw destiel trending on November 5th, realized just how BIG the market for a slow burn will they/won't they mlm romance is, and said "hey, we already have the foundations for one of those. why not go for it and draw in all those viewers who clearly want one so badly?"

if buddie goes canon, because the cast and PR have been so positive about it, unlike spn, and because of the text of the show itself, the show's creatives could VERY EASILY claim that they were never baiting, that it was all an intentional slow burn will they/won't they romance from the beginning, and most people would believe them; there isn't really any evidence to the contrary, although I am sure there would be at least a few fans convinced it started as queerbaiting, and there might not be any evidence to refute that, either.

the point is that 911 is currently sitting on a gold mine. if they play their cards right, and execute buddie well, they will monopolize this market that old straight white men serving as network executives have failed so far to really tap into. they queerbait without the payoff, which gives the show a reputation among those in the market who haven't seen it, guaranteeing they will never watch it. shows in this vein: sherlock (huge reputation for queerbaiting and a finale fans didn't like) and spn (huge reputation for queerbaiting and a finale fans didn't like). spn got so, so close with cas's confession but then continued to gaslight its fans, and PR did not lean into destiel AT ALL. if 911 did buddie? the PR team would be all over it. it would be a moneymaker, big time, and Fox knows it. if buddie, or even just bi buck, went canon, tumblr would be all over it. viewership for the show, which is already impressive, would skyrocket. 911 would monopolize this market, because fans wary of queerbaiting would watch it with the knowledge that the payoff is there, and there really wouldn't be a competitor until other shows saw the success of buddie and followed suit with their own pairings, and given the fact that the market specifically wants /slow burn/ queer romances, that might take a couple years. that puts 911 in a really good position, where suddenly the fandom of the show, not just the GA, is very large and likely very dedicated to the show. the success of canon buddie might just change the landscape of TV in the coming years, showing execs that while queerbaiting does work, actually going through with it is really where the money is. 911 would not just monopolize the market for a while; it would pioneer it.

if buddie never goes canon, I would probably be a bit disappointed at the wasted potential, but unless the characters get to that point where canon buddie seems like the most logical outcome and they /don't/ go for it, I won't be truly upset because I don't think it's fair to claim its queerbaiting until then. I can't tell you how likely it is that buddie will be canon at some point, but it seems FAR more likely than destiel /ever/ did, and we ended up getting cas's confession in the end. I have hope, despite being hurt so badly by spn. 911 is a genuinely great show with some fantastic writing, and they don't leave chekov's gun unfired, unlike spn.

really, it comes down to this: if Jennifer Love Hewitt is allowed to clown for buddie, then so am I, and I'll enjoy this show—which is amazing even without canon buddie—while I apply my clown makeup.

#9-1-1 #spn #buddie #tagging as #destiel #so anyone with that tag blacklisted can avoid this post #unfortunately I have seen w/ncest shippers in the buddie tag so that's just a precaution so I don't get attacked #posts for puck #I might add more to this later who knows but I think this is a pretty good collection of my thoughts #buddie positivity #911natural

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bunnyinthestars · 3 years

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Adrien is definitely gonna take Emilie’s place in a coma (A Theory)

Yeah so I mean the title of this is exactly what I’m pretty sure is gonna happen. This is because there has been a huge load of foreshadowing and some other subtler reasons I will be going over in this post. Of course, there’s always a chance it won’t happen, but if it didn’t I think I’d be pretty surprised considering just the amount of evidence thats going into this.

(Also sorry ahead of time for the structure of this, I tried to structure this based on my specific reasons for this theory but I kind of went off on tangents in some places and in others I use ideas that I assume come with the theory and don’t necessarily fit into any specific reason (like Emilie coming back to life and what would happen there, why Adrien and not Nathalie, and loosely how theyd get Adrien out of the coma), although I mosty stick to the structure I still want to add this disclaimer just so you’re aware that I wrote this in one go at midnight (also wait right now its 12:10am it is now ten minutes into my birthday??? ok ignoring that))

I dont know man. Just consider what I have to say. Or dont. I will be listing my reasons starting now.

1. Imagery of Adrien being in comatose state/ in a coffin-like thing.

This is surprisingly common??? Off the top of my head I can think of Style Queen and Riposte (I believe) which involve this. In Style Queen, Audrey in the form of her akumatized self had essentially kidnapped Adrien and put him in this gold/glass coffin thing that disintegrated the longer it remained untouched. The other one is Riposte, where Ladybug hides Adrien in that big sarcophogus in the Louvre (he didn’t stay in it but still the imagery is there.)

I also just remembered in Chameleon when Lila took Adrien’s form he was asleep/in a comatose state in that locker and Plagg was like “aw man am I gonna have to kiss him.....” but then Adrien wakes up because Lila stole someone else’s form

EDIT: another instance of Adrien/Chat Noir being shoved into a sarcophagus (besides Riposte) is in Pharaoh in season 1

So yes there is definitely a good number of foreshadowing for this. I might take this further and say if Adrien were to go comatose and be in the coffin Emilie was in then Felix might replace him for some amount of time?? Like impersonate him amd stuff?? Just because there’s lots of stuff in the show with impersonation I feel like it could work aNYWAY BACK TO THE EVIDENCE I KNOW ITS A TANGENT

2. Possible evidence foreshadowing Emilie *inadvertantly* killing (not killing but making comatose you get it) Adrien

This one is not as strong as the first but its worth considering. I was googling the word “mayura” just out of curiosity a while back and basically its a peacock in Hindu stories (like peacocks are a kinda revered animal) and I just initially found a couple websites that said that the mayura has been depicted eating a snake as a symbol of the cycle of time (you dont have to read this part in parenthesis, its just kind of a tangent: the cycle of time as known in Hinduism is another aspect of Hinduism directly referenced in the show: the horse/space miraculous kwami Kaalki’s name is a reference to the prophecied tenth avatar/reincarnation of the god Vishnu, and he is referenced in the Kalachakra tantra which is basically a Hindu book about the cycle of time. Keep in mind I got all this from wikipedia and other internet websites, I do not practice Hinduism and I dont directly know anybody who does, so if any of this is wrong pls lmk because there is surprisingly not a lot of information on the internet about it from what I could tell)

So anyways yes peacock (mayura) eating snake representing the cycle of time. Both Luka and Adrien are represented in the show as the snake, but ultimately I think the snake here represents Adrien just because it makes more sense (Snake Noir, future Alix’s tattoo depicts a snake to be Adrien and is meant to represent Adrinette, Adrien just has some shifty stuff going on with the snake in general etc) and thus, if Gabriel manages to actually get the ladybug and black cat miraculouses and make the wish to bring Emilie to life, then this “mayura” analogy (assuming Emilie as the mayura in this scenario) would make sense if her life brought upon Adrien losing his.

The reason I dont think it would refer to Nathalie even though her official name is Mayura is for pretty much two sub-reasons. The first is that I think she is going to die before this wish happens. I know, its a kids show, whatever, but consider it. The Agreste/Graham de Vanily family has a trend of having opposite names [I am so sorry I literally first heard this from a tumblr user but I cannot remember who I just remember they had made a string of theories on why Emilie Agreste will not be who she seems to be so credit to them I did not discover that] for example the name Gabriel means hero/angel, Felix means happy/fortunate, Adrien means dark, etc, and Nathalie Sancoeur means “birthday (of Christ)” and “heartless” respectively. We already know she is not heartless but rather full of heart because she has fallen in love with Gabriel. So then,,,,,,,,,, the opposite of birth is death. She’s already shown to be pretty sick too despite the peacock miraculous having been “fixed” (as of the New York special being the most recent piece of content). I’m sorry guys I do not make the rules

stop why his face look like that though

The second part of why I think this is a little stupid but. The original art released by Jeremy Zag for Mayura does not look like Nathalie. Plus this art was only released under the name of “the Peacock” (originally Le Paon in French) so it might not actually be the Mayura we know as of now. Now, theoretically, it could be that they had made this art before they knew they wanted Nathalie to be Mayura or just as art depicting what Emilie would have been like as the peacock miraculous holder, and it could literally just be Nathalie. When you compare the images, though, the original Mayura art looks far more like Emilie and a lot less like Nathalie. Yes I am aware this is stupid just know this is only a minor point

I dont know man those faces do not look the same to me and the original Mayura definitely had Emilie’s eye shape and face shape in mind. They might’ve changed it after making the concept art but my point still stands

Ok next reasoning

Again not a very strong point but sometimes dialogue just implies things in Miraculous and I can think of a very specific quote that would fit this happening, and there are probably more that I just dont know to look for since I dont have this whole show memorized

So the quote is from Startrain after Gabriel loses control of the akuma then learns about the Startrain having been akumatized with Adrien on board, and he says “hoping that my enemies will save my son..... how ironic.” When I first heard this quote I really, really felt like it was foreshadowing something just based on his tone and the way this new idea was being introduced of him having to be on the same side as Ladynug and Chat Noir for once, even if it was just temporary. This quote absolutely is indicative to me of a future event in which he’ll have to work with his “enemies” to save his son. A situation in which Adrien is in comatose would perfectly align with this. At least for how I would predict the show would make it, Gabriel would have to turn away from Emilie (who represents the past for him, and this action would therefore represent moving on) and join forces with Ladybug/Marinette, his “enemy”, to save Adrien.

Onto the last reason!

Emilie is probably definitely coming back. Which means someone’s going into a coma in her place.

I mean come on it would be so anticlimactic if they just caught Gabe before he fulfilled his wish. Plus with the way they are outlining Emilie to be this perfect golden being is definitely because its going to far contrast with how she will actually turn out. This doesnt really support the Adrien thing in particular but honestly it would also be anticlimactic of the coma was for anyone else. If it was Nathalie, then yeah itd suck for Adrien I guess but like???? Doesn’t really connect the plots as much. Whereas if its Adrien, that brings Marinette into it, that gives her a powerful as heck conflict. Im guessing they would also somehow resolve his coma with “the power of love” mentioned in the theme song, just because of the foreshadowing with like waking someone up with a true love’s kiss (think Plagg in Chameleon, I guess the rose in Style Queen, maybe Alya’s story to Manom in Stormy Weather if we’re strecthing it....)

TL;DR: Adrien is probably gonna go comatose (like Emilie did) at some point because its been pretty foreshadowed (think Style Queen, Riposte, and even Chameleon), because of the legend surrounding the Hindu “mayura” peacock eating a snake representing time (wow that was not a sentence ok then), because Gabriel has previously foreshadowed having to work with his enemies to save his son, and also just because it would be super awesome and allow each character involved to have a pretty fulfilling conflict and arc.

(all images from the miraculous ladybug wiki excluding the piece of art depicting the mayura which is from murugan.org)

I hope however took the time to read this post enjoyed this theory, sometimes I have really random yet detailed theories regarding this show and I wanted to share this one because if I’m right then this will be proof I had predicted it, also you guys could possibly elaborate on it. I’m all for friendly discussions folks fr

If this doesn’t end up happening the theory is still awesome and they should have done it, and if it does my ego will probably expand and hopefully they will make it as awesome as it seems like it would be. Sorry if the structure of this post is not great, but thank you for reading. I appreciate you, have a wonderful week :)

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ampleappleamble · 3 years

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Debriefing the Crucible Knights went about how Axa had expected it would. She and her companions had staggered out of Heritage Hill only to be immediately escorted back to Crucible Keep along with the little girl they'd rescued from her family crypt, the poor waif falling asleep on Edér's shoulders as they'd made their way through town. Once inside, they'd had their wounds tended to and their bellies filled as they recounted the events of their harrowing mission, repeating themselves over and over to one bewildered Knight after another. By the end of the evening, rumors, misinterpretations, and half-truths about the "end of the Curse of Heritage Hill" were all anybody in Crucible Keep could talk about– unless one preferred to gossip about the mysterious Watcher of Caed Nua instead.

Restful sleep was coming harder and harder to Axa, and the troubling trend had continued as they'd bedded down in the barracks that night. She'd woken the next morning feeling worse than she had when she'd laid down the night before, and her attitude had very much reflected it. She'd particularly let her ire show when her breakfast had been interrupted by a man who'd introduced himself as Penhelm, a name she recognized as the one belonging to the Knight that Osric had sent her after the day before, hoping she could recover his family's breastplate from the snooty little gossip.

"Is it true that you're not actually a Watcher, but merely a Cipher? Like the... others of your kind down at Hadret House?" Arrogance and curiosity mingled in his insufferable smirk as he spoke, not even having had the decency to wait until she'd finished chewing.

"That depends," she'd replied, her mouth still full of bacon. "Is it true you steal people's family heirlooms after talking shit about them and getting them kicked out of the service?"

Needless to say, she had gotten nowhere trying to convince him to do right by Osric. So on her way out, she'd passed through the scriptorium and, with a careful eye and a whispered word to Aloth, she'd left Crucible Keep that morning with Penhelm's soul lineage affidavit tucked away in her satchel.

She had been on her way to Hadret House to have the affidavit examined for authenticity, hoping to gain a bargaining chip that might pry the heirloom armor from the little bastard's hands, when a messenger had appeared at her shoulder, letting her know that her presence had been requested... at Hadret House. She'd almost laughed at the absurd coincidence– until the messenger told her exactly who had summoned her there, his tone low and reverent.

"Who is Lady Webb," she'd asked, "and what exactly does she want with me?"

The messenger had been young, with a casual, almost flippant air about him, but he had still had the good sense to lean close and keep an eye out for eavesdroppers. "You don't know her, milady? She's the directress of Dunryd Row, Defiance Bay's investigative peacekeeping force. No one's actually met her face to face, in... I don't know, a long time. But they say that despite her advanced age, her mind is a steel trap and her will is an iron fist. She and her Cipher operatives keep the city safe from threats that most kith are never even aware exist..."

Axa had listened, at first. She'd tried to listen. But as he'd spoken, as he'd thrust the wax-sealed summons into her hand, she'd found herself distracted by an all-too-familiar feeling. Something was pulling her toward Hadret House, something that had nothing to do with Dunryd Row or Ciphers or Lady Webb, and she'd turned away from the messenger in the middle of his speech to pursue it, helpless to resist.

He was there. Just outside of Hadret House, on the far side of Brackenbury. He was there, and she approached him–

–she approached him, any confidence she'd had before dissolving now in her sick stomach, trickling down her trembling limbs. She couldn't do this.

She had to do this.

He was already watching her, but the impact of his gaze was no less powerful than if he'd turned dramatically to face her. It was as though he knew what she was going to tell him already.

Of course he does, she thought. He knows all. He knows what I've done. What I–

"You look as though you've seen a ghost, dear."

Lady Webb chuckled in her throat, but her face did not laugh with her. "Although, perhaps you have. After all, you are the Watcher who wrested the ruins of Caed Nua away from poor, mad Maerwald, as well as the Watcher who ended the... 'curse' of Heritage Hill, if my reports are correct." The old, frail woman rose from her desk, crossed the room with a deceptive grace. "And they are."

Axa kept her head low, but lifted her eyes to meet Webb's gaze. "Why have you asked me here–"

"–You know why I have asked you here, child." With anyone else, she would have felt that she was being chastised, but with him, she only felt kind, fatherly concern. "Your fellow missionaries have reported a change in your behavior recently. You neglect your duties, you are quiet and distant. What troubles you so to make you act this way?"

Tears stung her eyes. Her whole body quaked. Her breath caught in her throat. The quivering pit in her stomach broadened and her heart fell into it, and for a second she thought she might actually vomit, but instead it was her confession that flew from her mouth:

"Your Eminence, I... forgive me, but I wish... I wish to leave the order."

He folded his hands, frowning–

"You're not a stupid woman, Axa Mala. You should know why I've asked you here. Defiance Bay's concerns are my concerns, you see, and evidently, they are yours as well. But neither of us is overly fond of beating around the bush, so let's cut straight to it, shall we?" Lady Webb stopped at her bookshelf, turned to face Axa again, her keen eyes piercing the other woman's mind, her soul. "Why do you seek the Leaden Key?"

She had known, somehow, that Webb would ask her that, but it still took her by surprise. Nevertheless, Axa didn't waste time asking how she'd known. "I'm looking for someone. A man I saw in the ruins of Cliant Lîs. He... did something to me. And I need him to undo it."

The wizened old Cipher nodded at her, then, let her eyes slip shut, her face twitching–

–"You have been nothing if not an extraordinary asset to us," he said, slowly pacing as he spoke. "Your conviction in our cause has inspired your contemporaries to greatness, and together with them you have brought the light of redemption to thousands, if not more! What could possibly shake your faith in yourself like this? Your faith in us?"

Somehow, without her realizing, he had ended up crossing the room to stand directly before her. He looked into her eyes, worry and sorrow emanating from him. "What's wrong, Anthea? What happened?"

She squeezed her eyes shut but she still saw him in her mind, still saw the compassion in his eyes that a despicable sinner like her could never deserve–

Lady Webb opened her eyes, gasping softly.

"The gods are cruel," she murmured. "The man you seek is none other than the grandmaster of the Leaden Key himself: Thaos ix Arkannon."

The name echoed in Axa's head, the bearded man's masked face floating before her mind's eye. It felt like she'd always known him, or at least known of him, but only now could she put a name to the face.

"Thaos," she whispered–

"I cannot stay, Your Eminence. I'm... I'm tainted, wicked and weak." Anthea lowered her head, letting her tears fall to the floor. "I've done something terrible, something I can never undo, an unforgivable act of blasphemy. I fear– no, I– I know I am beyond redemption."

She curled in on herself, wracked with sobs, unable to continue. Shame and guilt burned her face, but she knew she deserved to burn for real, to burn forever. But even to cleanse her soul with holy flame would be too kind a mercy for a traitor of her magnitude. How could he, how could the gods ever forgive such a miserable wretch like her?

His hand fell onto her shoulder, steady and strong–

"He is a man unlike any other," Webb explained, her voice quiet and serious as she made her way back to her desk, hands folded behind her back. "The Leaden Key is an organization dedicated to obscuring, muddling, and destroying information, including any evidence pertaining to themselves or their activities. There's no way to be sure, but what little we've found suggests that they have supposedly existed for over two thousand years." She looked pointedly at Axa, one eyebrow cocked. "And it was Thaos who founded them."

"But that's impossible," Aloth blurted. "Even the longest-lived elves haven't even come close to..." He trailed off, twisting his fingers together anxiously, dropping his gaze to the floor.

"You'd think so, wouldn't you?" Webb sighed, one drooping corner of her mouth briefly lifting into a smirk. "But when it comes to the Leaden Key, little is as it seems. If what we've managed to learn about him so far is true– and there's no guarantee that it is, but it's the best explanation we've got– he is one of Woedica's Favored, an agent of the Queen Who Was who has been gifted with the blessing of eternal life. In practice, this means that every time he dies, Thaos' soul is guided by Her hand to be reborn in an almost identical vessel, and once he reaches puberty, he Awakens to all of his past lives at once, in order to continue the work of his Mistress on Eora. So strong is his soul, in fact, that he can supposedly even project it out of himself and into others, crushing the will of lesser souls and usurping their bodies for his and his Queen's own ends." She regarded Axa with pity. "He is almost certainly the most dangerous, elusive, powerful man on the face of the planet. And while I can't deny being grateful for the company, you have my deepest sympathies that your path has also crossed with his."

"Why was he in Teir Nowneth the night the machine was activated in Heritage Hill?" Axa demanded, her head spinning. "What was he doing in Cliant Lîs? How did he Awaken me–"

–"So you have sinned," Thaos proclaimed gravely. "You have erred, stumbled on your path, and now you would cast yourself into the Void. Is that it?"

Anthea wanted to cover her face with her hands, wanted to run, to hide, but she could barely even find it in herself to draw the breath to answer him. "What I've done, no god could forgive me. Now or ever."

He brought his other hand around, then, gripped both of her shoulders firmly. "My child, my dear child, if you truly believe that then I have utterly failed you, as a teacher and as a leader. There is no sin so grevious that it cannot be absolved, no path so dark the gods cannot light the way to salvation! As long as you do not turn your back on Them, They will never turn Their backs on you."

She knew it couldn't be true. It was too good to be true, and nothing in her life had ever been half so good. Not since she was a child. But... would he really lie to her like that? He never had before. At least, she didn't think he had. Anthea slowly lifted her head to look at the man who would save her from herself–

Lady Webb sat back down, letting her chin hover just above her steepled fingers. "That's what I'd like to know. There's quite a lot I'd like to know about Thaos ix Arkannon and the Leaden Key, as I rather imagine you would, too. That's why I summoned you here today– to work with you, pool our resources, compare notes. The Key has been... active as of late, and where they go, you seem to follow, righting their wrongs. As you did in Heritage Hill." She smiled, her thin, red mouth like a slit cut into her face. "I'd like you to continue to do so, and to report your successes back to me. In return, Dunryd Row's resources shall be at your disposal should you need them, and with a bit of luck– well, a lot of luck, in truth– perhaps we two can corner him and get our answers at last."

There was something behind Webb's eyes, something mysterious and passionate and unrelenting that Axa couldn't quite place, but she knew instinctively that it wasn't for her. Whatever it was that drove this woman, whether it was a thirst for vengeance or a desire for the truth or a need for justice, the ferocity behind her eyes was only for Thaos.

She could respect that.

"Very well," Axa replied, "I accept–"

–"I... I want to believe that's so, Your Eminence," she stammered, "but even if it were, I don't deserve Their clemency."

"Some among the gods would see you punished, it's true," he murmured. "But the sting of the lash passes in an instant compared to the eternity afterward in which you shall enjoy the boundless mercy, the cleansing forgiveness, the all-consuming love of the gods. That is what makes one deserving– devotion. As long as you devote yourself to Them, They will return the faith you place in Them a thousand fold."

The tears fell afresh from her eyes, this time from sheer relief. Somewhere deep in her heart, she must have known he could make it all right, could show her the path to absolution. He always did. That was the real reason she had come here, wasn't it? What had she been so afraid of?

Thaos smiled warmly at her, his hands still gently clutching her shoulders. "Stay with us, Anthea. We need you. The gods need you. They have entrusted you with the truth of Their Word– will you return that trust?"

"I will," she whispered–

"Now, before you go– what was that bizarre display you put on just outside our door?" Lady Webb was already looking through another stack of documents, but she spared Axa a bemused glance. "It's not a good look, dear, standing around with your eyes glazed over and your mouth agog. You're liable to catch flies."

"I'm an Awakened Watcher," the orlan retorted curtly. "The memories from my past life tend to be a bit more vivid than the ones other Awakened kith might experience. And I don't exactly control what I see or when I see it."

The old Cipher shrugged. "I meant no offense. Only trying to warn you that you may have unwittingly broadcasted your whereabouts to someone who seems to have a bone to pick with you." She gestured vaguely toward the door to her office, and it swung open, an orlan man stepping in as though he'd been expected.

Webb looked at Axa the way a jaded teacher might at an impudent pupil. "Well? Show him the affidavit."

She blinked, and somewhat reluctantly, she reached into her satchel and produced Penhelm's affidavit, the one Aloth had pilfered for her at Crucible Keep. "Uh... Can you tell me if this is genuine?" she muttered.

The older man took it from her, looked it over briefly, and shook his head, wrinkling his nose in disgust as he handed it back. "Not at all," he pronounced. "Being perfectly honest, it's a rather shabby forgery, too."

Webb sighed, shuffling her papers. "Thank you, Kurren; you may go." The orlan gave her a respectful nod and left to return to his work downstairs as the directress of Dunryd Row grinned wryly at Axa. "Now you have your bargaining chip. Penhelm is waiting for you on the street outside. Do exercise caution, dear, and try to keep the blood off of my siding. We've only just had it repainted last month."

"Actually," the little woman smiled slyly, "I think I've got a better idea."

—

#pillars of eternity #poe anthem infinitum #fic wip #i knew this section was gonna be the real meat of the chapter #i'm doing a Thing with capitalizing the gods' pronouns #one more section and then a new playing and planning phase can begin bghfghbfghfhh!!!!#thanks for reading ♡

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