Reaction to Bad Batch S03 Ep14

I was so scared when the empire knew they were coming from the beginning 😭

Echo being a badass again is just everything, the real reason why they didn’t bring him back earlier was because everything would’ve been way more efficient

WE SAW THE ZILO BEAST!! I need to know if I’m not the only one thinking that Omega and the kids are going to connect with it and escape with that, cause that’s my theory

Definitively wasn’t expecting the Echo-Emerie teamwork but I’m here for it. And I love that Emerie has come to her senses and is going to help the kids scape

I’m scared for the ending but also so excited I can’t wait! Also I hope the last episode is an hour long cause I’m gonna lose it if it’s short, there’s to many things that need to happen!

Two more sleeps until ttpd and I already know it’s going to destroy me

why did the campaign lady lex hired shave her head to match with him

he looks really scared. as do i.

Wondering how much this trip to urgent care is going to cost me. ✌️🙃

Exactly one week until my piano recital

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every time i do it, i lose a little bit more of myself.

because it will never be enough. if i get styro tonight, i’ll want beans tomorrow.

if i only eat 1500 today, i’ll want 800 tomorrow.

it’s never enough and i feel like i’m already gone.

auditioned for the school play today

z

My thoughts are racing because there are a million potential scenarios in which Will would be crying in Jonathan’s arms like that and almost none of them are good…

can tomorrow come already i’m going crazy

God dammit I feel like I need to talk about this. So, any of my other choral nuts may or may not know that VOCES8 is starting a new professional group in the United States. A treble ensemble. An ensemble like this is something that I've been waiting for since I've been in high school and I've been trying to act like it's not a big deal.

Lately, I’ve been really distant from my musician side and focusing a lot more on my trans side. It’s the off-season and I celebrated Pride Month really hard. Go figure. But it’s been so easy to pretend like I don’t have these degrees in vocal performance and vocal chamber music and that I’ve wanted to be in a full-time professional ensemble that previously didn’t exist since for me since I’ve been twelve years old.

It's a full-time professional choir for treble voices based in the United States run by my favorite choir of all time. For context, there are no full-time professional choirs that voices like mine can even be a part of in the United States right now. Only "men's choirs." If I weren't going through this vocal gender dysphoria thing right now, this would've been some thing I'd be foaming at the mouth for. It’s the thing I’ve always wanted, even tried to form myself. (I started a treble ensemble with the intention of growing it to professional level some years ago, but my rehearsal leadership skills are subpar so I asked a friend to direct for me, and she insisted it needed to be a “women only safe space” so I quit my own choir 🤦‍♂️ they’re still singing today and sound pretty good btw).

But anyway, I was hanging out with a friend today and told her about the whole thing and was pretty wishy-washy about whether I was going to audition or not, told her I’m this close to giving up on the dream of being a professional choral musician and taking the hormones and just starting my whole life over and not auditioning means I don’t have to keep trying to be a soprano and not transitioning because it’s what my adolescent self wanted for me, and got himself $60k in student loan debt for. I thought she’d get it but she basically chewed me out, saying that I really need to audition and try to make that dream a reality.

I need to make fourteen years of college and young artist programs and suffering through community choirs and trying to start my own professional groups pay off. I need to put to rest the yearning and crying over a dream that feels more like a death sentence these days. If I do this, then I will have done it. I want to be a part of this group so badly. I need them to accept me. I want to sing with them for as long as it makes sense, and then I can finally say all those years were worth it. My younger self can feel satisfied with the work I have done, I will have accomplished the task I set for myself when I was a child and didn’t know trans people existed, and then I can finally get the fuck on with the rest of my life. I can go to the gender clinic and get the testosterone and ruin my “beautiful” “god-given” “perfect” soprano voice and finally be fucking happy.

I’m officially moving into my parent’s house this weekend. Something I promised myself I’d never do again when I was kicked out at 17. This is absolutely without a doubt my worst case scenario.

I’m officially losing my cat on Saturday. The only being that keeps me sane. I feel like I’ve failed her. I don’t know when I’ll get to see her again. She’s going to be so hurt. She was so happy here. She’s not going to understand.

I am falling apart. I’m devastated. That doesn’t even come close to describing how I really feel.

I’ve officially lost everything but my friends.

I tried. Gourd knows I’ve tried. But I have no more moves or options.

I’m empty. I’m lost. I’m defeated.

i tried to open up and tell my mom how bad i’ve felt for the past few weeks and she started talking about her broken car instead of trying to help until i got up to get away from her, at which point she grabbed me really hard and started shouting…… i ran to my room before she could hurt me but then as i was crying and she was taunting me i fell right on my face and i’m scared my nose is broken because it hurts and there’s so much blood

schlatt looks a little like 2/10 gnf

anon do uou want me to get shot be honest

Can the end of the world be like next year please i don’t wanna miss tales of the teenage mutant ninja turtles

ocd rant

ok this is really different from what i usually post but it’s been on my mind a lot lately. people don’t seem to understand how fucking scary legitimate obsessions can be. like specifically an obsession with a person. (this will be a sort of personal rant?). people throw that around all the time “oh i’m obsessed with that musician” “i’m literally obsessed with her” and here i am…

an actual obsession with a person is FUCKING. SCARY.

it’s so scary. like- here’s the personal part- i used to be obsessed with my best friend. and i mean, hardcore, mentally ill obsessed. not going to go more into because it was a reeeaaaaallllly dark period and ended really badly, as obsessions with people do.

so anyway, i’m scared that i’m obsessed with my new best friend. i love her (not in a sexual/romantic way) and i just think about her all the time. and it’s starting to scare me. i feel myself going back into that obsessive state again. i think about her all the time. i think about her at home, at school. i think all the time “oh hazel would love this” or “i need to tell hazel this” or shot like that. i feeling like i need her approval to fucking exist. i want to be around her all the time. she takes up a lot of my thoughts. and she likes her personal time, her personal space. she’s good at telling me when she needs space (the last one wasn’t) but i’m scared that soon i’m going to need more than she can give me.

and i’m fucking scared. i’m so scared. i feel out of control and helpless. i’m so scared this will end like the last one. i can’t lose her. tl;dr- i’ve been obsessed with someone before and i’m scared it’s happening again