#I’m posting these here like a month after the fact I’m so sorry lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vibratingskull · 4 months

Note

Hello hello! happy new year 🎊🎊🎊!!! I was just wondering if you could do a part two to the stranded fic you wrote for Thrawn (totally optional ofc ignore this if you want‼️‼️‼️) I think it would be interesting to see the aftermath of their relationship like are they rescued or not? If they're not do they just say fuck it let's start a family? If so do they eventually get discovered by the rebels/empire (sort of like the plot for Ahsoka ig???) And they're like yo look at me and my family haha fuck y'all I'm not going back to civil society I love my partner and our children! (If you can't tell I have been thinking about this situation for ages it's making me go crazy with the possibilities) Your fics feed my soul tbh I'd actually die for your writing I go feral when you update the JC series or just post something in general 💞💞💞 (idk how to end this lmao I barely request stuff LMAOOOO idk if I'm even doing it right 😭) (also feel free to make it as horny as you want you can literally make it the sexiest of smut or just make it completely cute and tooth rottingly sweet!!!!!) (Again ignore this if it's something you're not interested in or if it breaks a rule or something!!!!!!)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw thank you love ❤️Happy new year to you too❤️Thank you for your support, my dear. I hope you will love this one too❤️

Part 1

ThrawnxF!reader

Tag : Non descriptive birth, cunni, P in V, creampie

You open your eyes, your face bathing in a ray of sun. It is already quite hot outside, but the hut retains the freshness of the night quite well. You rise in a seating position, on your mattress of hay and palm tree leaves in a sheet of linen. Next to you Thrawn’s spot is cold already, he must be awake for some time now. You wince as your baby hits your tummy.

“I’m sorry darling, you must be hungry.” You gently caress your swollen stomach. “I will find something for us to eat.”

You stand up on your feet, a little bit unbalanced by your pregnant stomach and head for the main place. You wave at your neighbors that go around their business, greeting you in return.

A month after escaping the cannibal village you crossed paths with another alien species, beings you can at best described as frog people with their globulous eyes and slimy greenish skin, but full of kindness and a strong community sense. They welcomed you in their village, feeded you and soothed your wounds, and contrary to the cannibal village Thrawn did not detect any ill intent or habits in their art. He analyzed that they were former peaceful wanderers of the universe that crashed on the planet like you did millennia ago. In fact, the village is right next to the destroyed carcass of the ship that brought them here, the survivor took everything useful from the ship and built a new community.

They now speak a bastardization of Basic, permitting you to communicate with them quite well, even if there are still some mishaps here and there. You came to discover the cannibals took them regularly for preys and they had the greatest difficulties at repelling them, their former peaceful ways led to a more armed culture but they are still not efficient soldiers. That’s when Thrawn intervened. He trained with their warriors to get used to their different weapons and tactics and convinced the chiefs to let him lead their warriors on the next attack.

And he did.

Successfully.

For the first time in the millenia of conflict between the two species the frog people didn’t lose any lives or children to the cannibals. The party that followed that night was grandiose and flashy, the frog people warmly thanked Thrawn and offered you both to stay at the village.

You accepted, given they weren’t murderous cannibals. Thrawn pondered the question longer, still focused on the possibility of finding a way to come back to the Empire.

There wasn’t.

The frog people spreaded all around the globe of that planet and established colonies on all the continents and kept a tight diplomatic bond between each colony. The chiefs proposed you remain in the village to relax for while they sent messages to the other colonies to ask them. You have been in the village for some weeks now but Thrawn decided he would go to meet the other colony and have the chance to ask for himself. And you would not let his politically incompetent ass go anywhere alone unless you wanted him to create chaos, so you decided to go with him. But the morning of your departure you started puking and couldn’t walk without feeling weak so Thrawn carried you bridal style to the healer of the tribe, deciding to postpone his travel until you knew what was going on.

And you didn’t have to wait long.

After examining your body and checking your hormonal balance with some reactives plants the healer determined that you were pregnant! You had a moment of silence, brain frozen, taking in the news and asked for other tests to be conducted immediately, she obliged, and ended up with the same results. Thrawn wasn’t in the hut, politely waiting outside while she examined your body.

You were at a loss of words. A multitude of contradicting emotions raging in your brain and heart.

You were pregnant? Chiss and humans are compatible?

How would Thrawn react? How should YOU react? It was one thing to share a night of passion with your enemy turned ally while you were stranded, carrying his child and heir was a complete other matter!The healer noticed your clear lack of enthusiasm and asked if you wanted to terminate the pregnancy now.

You had no words. Should you do it? Should you not? How would your comrades react at the sight of you bearing the child of the Grand Admiral Thrawn?

Should you even tell him? If you took the preparation she was handing you and terminated the pregnancy in its early stage, was it even worth informing Thrawn?

You decided that yes.

It was.

You called for him and he entered the hut, kneeling down next to you he gently put a strand of hair out of your face with his fingers in a reassuring gesture. You smiled at him gently and warned him to stay seated for the news. He turned to the healer, squinting his eyes in concentration and maybe some worry.

“Is it a dangerous illness?” He asked, “Is her life at risk?”

“Her life is at risk, but not by an illness. This is simply the circle of life.”

He tilted his head, clearly not understanding the healer's words. You took his hand and squeezed it, looking at him in the eyes.

“Thrawn…” You started, deadly serious, “I am pregnant.”

He fully turned to you in complete silence, his eyes barely rounding up in surprise, his control remaining total. Will you one day be able to surprise this man?

He remained mute for a full minute, eyes fixed in yours, before opening his mouth.

“Do you want this child?” Was his only question, his only worry.

“I… Do not know.” You confessed. “What if we find a way to go home?”

“I would not impose you to follow me in the Empire’s ranks.”

“Then could I deprive this child of their father? Could I tell them their parents are mortal enemies?”

“Maybe you could send them to me.” He proposed.

“And have them in the Imperial system? Out of the question! My child will not be an imperial pawn!” You exclaimed resolutely.

“I could send them to the Ascendancy.” He proposed again.

You pondered that possibility. You live a dangerous life made of battles and combats, constantly on the run. Thrawn has more stability, but you will not make your child and Imperial citizen, they will be free and nothing else. Sending them to the Ascendancy, to Thrawn original worlds however… might be their best chances. He talked to you about it for long hours, revealing to you his memories, maybe… Maybe this is the best you could offer that child.

Of course it would mean being separated from your own flesh and blood, but the life you would give them isn’t a life for a child.

“That’s a good idea.” You finally nod. “It would be a more stable environment for them.”

Thrawn squeezed your hand approvingly in response

“But do you even want this child?” You raise your head to him, “We never talked about it. We don’t even know what we are.”

Since that night you shared, you didn’t leave each other's side, living, sleeping, bathing together, just spending the days hand in hand. But you are not in a regular situation, is a relationship started in such extreme conditions as of a crash a stable basis for a healthy couple? Do the standard relationships apply to you? So far away from all laws and civilization do putting a label on your situation even make sense?

He looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

“You are the one carrying the embryo, you have the final word. But if you ask me : yes. I want that child.”

But you are still unsure. Are you ready to be a mom? Delivery in those conditions could be incredibly dangerous for you and the baby, what about infections, complications? The frog people kept some techniques and technology from when they still traveled the universe but a lot of machinery simply died for lack of energy source or repair pieces. Could you give birth away from the comfort and security offered by a hospital?

The healer took the powder and poured it in an envelope that she handed to Thrawn.

“Take the time to think about it.” She simply said, giving you a bay to eat to help with nausea.

You exited the little hut in silence, the envelope pressed against your chest. Thrawn circled your shoulders with his arm.

“We need to talk.” He said very seriously, “Let’s put you to bed, first.”

He guided you to your hut and helped you lay down, putting the traveling gear in one corner of the room.

“I am sorry.” You breathed, “I’m slowing you down.”

“No need for excuses. You are forgiven.” He responded by coming back to you, kneeling at your side.

He put his hand on your forehead to take your temperature very delicately.

“Are you comfortable?”

You nod, the nausea slowly subsiding. He remains silent for a long moment, only caressing your forehead, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. But he is never lost, merely reorganizing his brain like a computer.

“What?” you asked with a little voice.

“Nothing.” He said.

“You are fixing me so intently.”

“I am simply thinking, I thought about what you said: “We don’t even know what we are”.”

You purse your lips. It’s true you said that.

You were content about what you had all this time but the prospect of a child put everything into perspective and demanded clarifications.

“I am not wrong. We never really discussed about us, just lived in the present moment.” you argue.

“You are right, it was not a criticism.” He tampers with his deep melodious voice, “Were you happy during those times?”

“Yes.” you confess.

“Me too.” he admits too, “Do you envision yourself pursuing this relationship seriously?”

“I… Is this what you want? We talked about keeping seeing each other and all that, but… Does being a couple make any sense here? Does going official have any weight in our situation?”

“To me it does.” He tilted his head, “I want to be with you. Live with you, build a family with you.”

“And when we get rescued?” You ask, “You didn’t renounce that possibility. What then? We go our merry way, tearing the family apart?”

“I am afraid we will be blocked here for some time.” He responded, “If we ever get rescued.”

You frowned.

“You think there is a risk we stay stranded here?”

“This is a possibility to keep in mind.” He ominously said

You sighed, suddenly exhausted. You closed your eyes, trying to clear your mind.

“Do not take the medicine, please.” You suddenly heard him murmuring so low you almost doubted you heard him.

You reopen your eyes to look at him interrogatively.

“I want this baby. I want to be a father. I want to live with you and see our children grow. Leave me a chance to prove to you I am worth it.” He said, looking into your gaze with sparkly eyes.

His tone was assured and affirmative but you saw so much hope in those red eyes, all the dreams he had to leave behind when he became a Grand Admiral, he could live them here. He could restart anew, fresh, become the man he dreamed to be deep inside himself.

You raised in a seating position with a grumble.

“I do not doubt your worth, nor your capacities to be a father, but… There is so much uncertainty, so much fog… I cannot take that decision carelessly.”

“I understand your doubts and difficult position. And whatever you do, I will respect your choice. But, if I may tell you my opinion, again, please do not take the medicine. I will be here for you and the child, I want us to live all together. As a family”

“I will think about it…” You clench your fist around the envelope.

“Of course, Cha’cah.” He leaned forward to capture your lips in an infinitely soft kiss that you would have never believed him capable of, “The final choice is yours only.”

He caressed your cheek, kissed your forehead and left you alone to nap and gather energy.

You didn’t sleep, a headache threatened you all day long. And as usual, when night came you felt his arms wrapping around your form, tighter this night. You were pressed against his broad chest, his warm body, shielding you from the rest of the world.

You never took the medicine.

You pondered it during long weeks before one day standing still in front of Thrawn and handing him the envelope.

“Get rid of it.” you simply said.

He looked at the envelope, squinting, before grasping your arm and pulling you in a tight hug.

“Thank you.” He murmured, nose buried in your hair.

And that is how you ended up giving birth to your daughter. A healthy little girl in a rush to come into the world.

You woke up in the middle of the night like someone stabbed your womb before realizing your waters broke. Thrawn, awakened in a flash, helped you to the healer and she woke up all the women of the village, all came in the middle of the night to help. A birth is a matter of the entire community here.

They helped you to get rid of your tight clothes and enter a bath, trying to help you relax and relieve any tension. Thrawn was pushed outside the hut unceremoniously at first, “it is a women’s affair only.” They said to him, you don’t know what he responded but he was finally authorized to stay after a back and forth. He came to your side and took your hand, circling your shaking shoulders with his long arm.

“You got this, Cha’cah. I know you can do it.” He praised and supported you.

He talked to you during the whole process, taking your mind off the pain, kissing your temple, squeezing your hand.

Until finally, you heard her first scream.

She was as blue as him, with the same red eyes, but she inherited your hair. You immediately took her in your arms, still shaking and full of sweat but so relieved and happy.

Your little baby.

Your daughter.

Thrawn cut the umbilical cord with the fang dagger he gave you and came to your side to admire his daughter, delicately caressing her head still full of blood.

“She looks like you.” You say out of breath and the heart spilling love.

“Indeed. But she has your features. She will be as beautiful as you.”

He hugged you both like you could vanish at any second.

“Welcome to the world, little one. I love you so much.” He murmured, taking her in his large hands.

“What should we call her?” You ask. “We should pick a Chiss name.”

He looked at you with a hint of surprise and gratitude.

“What do you think of… Thaishi?” He proposed with a thin smile, eyes fixated on the baby.

“Taishi… Little Thaishi.” You make the name roll on your tongue, “I like it a lot.”

“Welcome Thaishi. My daughter.” He let out still incredulous, but the love and warmth was unmistakable in his voice. He immediately initiated skin-to-skin contact, trying to appease your daughter’s cries before the healer took her to examine her.

It was four years ago.

Thaishi speaks and sprints everywhere now, she is unstoppable, making you run after her all day long under Thrawn’s amused loving gaze.

She is already at the buffet this morning when you arrive at the center of the village. The frog people cook for the community and not for individuals, hunt together, fish together, gather together and they eat all together. But today is not your day to cook so you slept late.

You caress Thaishi’s head who doesn’t even take the time to sit with others to eat, she just picks what she wants and eats it immediately. She looks up to you with her mouth full, making her look like a hamster.

“Go sit with the kids, little terror.” You kiss her forehead.

She picks up three other fruits and runs to the kiddos and sits with them.

“(Y/n), we could have brought the food to your hut!” The lady in charge of the cooks today chastises you.

“No, it’s better if I come to eat with everyone.” You respond with an appeasing smile, “Did you see Thrawn this morning?”

“He was out hunting with the youngs early, they should… Ah! Talk about the wolf!”

You spin on yourself, your plate in hand, to see the hunters entering the village with their games. Thrawn stands out with his deep blue skin against their green ones, you notice him immediately. Everyone comes to them to inspect the meat and congratulate the hunters.

“How is my wife this morning?” Thrawn asks, pulling you in his arms immediately.

You giggle as he presses you against his large body, your pregnant belly in the way. He leans forward to kiss you tenderly and then kneels to caresses your belly with enamored red eyes.

You feel your baby giving a kick against his palm.

“They are full of energy.” He notes satisfied.

“Thaishi is too! I have trouble containing her sometimes.”

“Thaishi, listen to your mother.” Thrawn takes his daughter's shoulder in his hand, “It is important to obey adults, young one. We do it for your protection.”

“But I can’t help it, I want to run and jump everywhere!” She responds with her mouth full.

“Young lady, your table manners are lacking. We need to correct them.” He boops her nose.

She gulps her bite down and smiles at him with all her teeth.

“Go play, we will study Cheuhn later.” He smoothes her hair and pushes her gently towards the kids.

You both look at her running again to her comrades, the only blue skin and red eyes in the green and globulous eyes.

You sigh, the heart so full of love it could explode any minute now, when you feel Thrawn arms circling your shoulders.

“She’s four already.” You let out.

“Yes. She is growing quickly.”

“I feel like I gave birth to her yesterday and now look at her… Running all over without losing her balance. Maker… Tomorrow she will be a fully grown adult.”

“She will not, do not worry. She will remain our little lady whatever happens.”

You glance at him with a little grin.

“Are you becoming sentimental, Thrawn? What’s happening to my tough warrior?”

He chuckles lowly in response, amused.

“I have always been sentimental since she was a baby. Do not tell me you never noticed?”

“Oh I did notice! It was quite endearing to see you melt before her by the way! Seeing your facade cracking before your own baby…” You lay your head on his shoulder, caressing his cheek. “You have a good heart, Thrawn.”

“When it comes to you three, I always do.” He puts a hand on your tummy “What did the healer say yesterday?”

“They are growing quickly and well. I gained plenty of weight, my hormones are balanced and she didn’t notice anything wrong.”

“Yes, but she doesn’t have the correct equipment, so much could escape her.” He argues, suddenly frowning.

“Thrawn… Women have been giving birth here in those conditions for a millenia! So much they spread all over the continents, their death rate is really low. She knows her stuff.” You comfort him, holding his cheeks in your hands.

He slowly nod.

“You are right, as always.”

“I already gave birth, I can do it. I know I can.” You insist.

He kisses your palms delicately.

“I trust you, Cha’cah.”

“Good.” You raise on tiptoes to brush your nose with his. “Did you eat this morning?”

“I did, right before the hunt.” He squeezes your hand, “I will be on the ship if you need me.”

He kisses your forehead and grabs and carries Thaishi on his shoulders making her scream laughing among the children.

You go back with the others, sitting on your ankles, observing your husband and daughter as you eat your fruits. Your minds start wandering back to the night you wed Thrawn, you remember being in his arms, heavily pregnant with Thaishi, laying on your mattress. He was caressing your hair as your cheek was pressed against his chest, listening to his beating heart.

“We should get married.” He suddenly said in the dark of the night.

“Why?” you asked, yawning.

“We have a baby on the way. We should do it for them.”

“For them? Not because you’re so in love with me you could feel your heart explode?” You tease him with a light laugh.

“Do you doubt my love?”

“No Thrawn, I was simply joking. I do not doubt you.” You brush your cheek on the skin of his pec to reassure him.

Something you picked up on is Thrawn's low self esteem, or rather poor view of his own person. You realized it listening to him talk about his time in the Ascendancy, he measures his self worth though his capacity to serve and obey his people, completely ignoring his innate value as an individual being. He thinks of himself as a tool, a cog, in the great scheme of things. Just a usable asset to throw away once he has served his purpose. And maybe the most terrifying thing in this situation is that he was contented by this. To him he isn’t deserving of respect and love if he fails his duties. It is a completely normal situation to him, something he has internalized and never questioned.

So he didn’t understood you throwing yourself at him to hug him tight and reassuring him that you loved him. He stayed still, like frozen, listening to you declaring your love to him so suddenly he had nothing to say, maybe a bit shocked.

From this day on you took care to tell him everyday that you loved him, hugging and kissing him, showering him with your love, proving to him that whatever flaws he had or whatever failures he may have committed, he was worthy of unconditional love.

“I love you, (y/n). It is a fact that I cannot deny. When I realize you are in my presence, my heart tightens. When you speak, my heart seems to jump. When you are in my arms, it races. I daresay those symptoms point to love.”

“I know, my love.” You grazed your finger on his chest, “I love you all the same. I am truly at ease and relieved when you are at my side. I worry when I do not feel your presence.”

He took your hand to kiss your knuckles.

“I will not leave you. I am whole and appeased only with you.”

You raised your head to kiss his jaw tenderly.

“I want to tie my legacy to yours, be a family.” He continues.

You looked intently at his laying form silently.

“Because you miss yours?”

He remained silent and his gaze fixed on the ceiling seemed to harden.

“There is no need to hide it, love. It is natural to long for the presence of your family, whoever you are. It means you have a heart and a home to go back to.”

“I have a duty towards them. I will not go back to them until it is done.” He finally said with a hard tone.

It wasn’t directed against you, you knew it, it was simply a testimony of his resolution.

“So you truly want it?” You questioned gently.

“It would fill my heart with bliss if you bestowed yourself to me.” He confessed with a tone of confidence, caressing your cheek.

“If you promise to love me for all eternity, I accept to be yours.” You said.

He kissed your knuckles again before putting your hand on his beating heart.

“For all eternity, Cha’cah. You have my word.”

You lowered yourself and kissed his lips gently, he responded lasciviously, deepening the kiss.

He stood up, helped you rise on your feet and you sneaked away in the night to the Chiefs hut like children who would have stolen a cookie jar. The chiefs performed the ceremony according to their traditions and you were married to Thrawn.

To your Grand Admiral.

And him to his Rebel.

You shared the decisive kiss with the chiefs benedictions and felt your heart tightening with love. He kissed your forehead tenderly while caressing your cheek and you hugged him tight.

Now, with you pregnant, your destinies were intertwined forever.

And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

You never told the rest of the community, they didn’t need to know. You were together and that is all that mattered.

But there was one dark stain on the canvas.

You made peace with the fact that you wouldn’t get rescued by now. That is also why you carried the pregnancy to term and accepted his hand in marriage. Because deep down you felt you would never get out of this isolated planet.

But Thrawn didn’t.

Thrawn keeps fighting everyday to go home.

And you’re not sure how to feel about that.

Was it his loyalty to the Empire or his relentless devotion to the Ascendancy that pushed him so much? He refused to answer.

But coming back signifies saying goodbye. And that’s tearing your heart apart. When you realized he was tempering with the ship communication device to send messages to the Empire you badly reacted, you had your first real fight. He refused to stay arms dangling when his duties called for him and you refused to help go back to his murderous Empire.

In the end you remained a rebel and a Grand Admiral.

And it created the first cracks in your marriage.

A chance Thaishi was still a baby and couldn’t understand why her parents were arguing, but she did pick up on the bad vibes and your cracked voice and started crying. Before Thrawn could pick her up to console her, you took her, shouting he better get used to not seeing his family if he wanted to go back to the Empire so badly and ran off to the hut of friends and remained here for a full week.

You regretted those words. So badly. He never once raised his voice against you, remaining calm, but also so cold, so calculating, his determined gaze terrified you so you preferred to flee with your daughter.

He came to your friends’ hut everyday to see his child and everyday you refused, hugging her against your heart. You were so mad, so terrified, so… So betrayed! How could he dare do that to your family?

When you accepted to receive him, he sat down in front of you in silence, just observing his baby in your arms with a loving gaze.

But he was actively trying to tear his family apart and you couldn’t forgive him just yet.

“How is she?” he asked

“Good.”

“Can I hold her?”

“No.” you placidly answered

He simply took a deep breath in response before opening his mouth again.

“We should talk.”

“Indeed we should. You have a lot of explaining to do.” You frowned.

“I had good reasons to try to go back to the Empire.”

“Yes, evidently you are still very much attached to this tyranny.”

“You do not understand. I didn’t tell you everything.”

You raise an eyebrow, what could he say to save his image now?

“If I am so attached to this tyranny, as you call it, it is to save my worlds.”

And he explained everything to you, all the secrets he kept hidden all this time, secrets nobody’s outside of him and a certain Ba’kif knew about. The true reasons of his mission and allegiance to the Empire, anything he didn’t tell you before.

You just listen silently, eyes round and mouth agape.

“... You may hate me now, but I will demand to keep seeing my daughter. This is all I ask for.”

“I…” You just manage to say, lost “I am sorry, Thrawn.”

He remained silent, sounding you with his inquisitive red gaze, awaiting your reaction once you gathered your thoughts.

“I shouldn’t have reacted like that.” You concede, “But I couldn’t turn a blind eye either…” You try to show him where you come from.

But he is determined.

“I know. But my success depends on the success of the Empire.”

“The success of the Empire implies the subjugation of all races and slavery.”

“Not when I will have taken control of it. This is a necessary evil for now.”

“This is horrible… How can you say that?” You said, pained.

“This is war, casualties are inevitable. ” He insisted, “But when I will lead it, everything will end. You need to trust me.”

You lower your gaze to observe your daughter’s face. She is peacefully sleeping in your arms, soothed by both of your voices. She is as blue as him, with the same red eyes…

You already tied yourself to him, for better and for worse…

You sigh, closing your eyes. You hear him getting closer and circling your shoulders with his arm.

“I need you to trust me, cheo Cha’cah. I do it for the greater good.” He murmurs soothingly.

You purse your lips.

“I will not hinder you, but do not expect me to help you in any way!” You annonce with tenacity.

“Alright.” He gently kisses your shoulder, “Are you still mad?”

“Yes! A lot! But… I understand better now.” You say giving him a side glance.

He looks deep into your eyes, squeezing your shoulders against his body.

“I love you…” He confesses like a secret.

“Me too…” You reassure him. “But I will need time.”

“Will you let me hold our daughter?”

You gently give him your baby and she opens her eyes to meet his. He presses her delicately against his chest, a skin-to-skin hug so important for babies. She grabs one of his fingers in her little fist and starts babbling, smiling at her father.

“Hello you.” He gently says, “I missed you.”

You purse your lips, feeling like a heartless monster for depriving him of his child, and her, her father.

He slept with Thaishi in his arms that night and you pressed yourself against him, looking at your baby, cheek pressed on the chest of her father, sleeping soundly, at peace.

And you cried, knowing that this could come to an end one day.

You’re being brutally called back to reality when Thaishi sprinted into your laps to smash into you.

“Leys proposed to me to spend the day with her!” She exclaims joyfully as you try to catch your breath after that hit.

You turn towards Ley’s mother, slowly nodding.

“You need some peace and quiet at that point in your pregnancy, (Y/n). Relax for the day, we will take care of the kids.”

You turn back to Thaishi, eyes full of hope.

“Alright, but you must promise to behave well when you are with them! And don’t forget your Cheuhn lesson with your father.”

“Yes, mom!” She already sprints back to her friends group, barely listening to you.

She only listens to her father. You sigh, shaking your head.

Kids…

You yawn and decide to use this newfound liberty to take a nap, even if you just woken up. You were soundly sleeping for some hours now, back at your hut, when you felt a warm body pressing itself against your back and strong, large hands caressing your pregnant belly.

“Welcome back, sir…” You yawn.

Thrawn kisses your shoulders, pressing you tighter against his large body.

“How are you feeling?” He whispers.

“Heavy!” You burst out laughing “And fat! This belly gets in the way of everything, it’s impressive.”

“You are beautiful like that.” He insists, “I found you more and more hypnotizing as your pregnancy advances” He keeps caressing your tummy tenderly.

“Are you sure you are the most objective person in this situation?” You argue back with a side grin.

“I need not to be objective, I only need my eyes to witness your bewitching beauty. And I can confidently say you are the most beautiful of all.”

“Even when my body is limp and bloated like that?”

“Especially like that. You being pregnant is a real… Temptation.” He breathes lowly in your ear, “I have all the pain in the world to maintain my control.”

“You? Struggling to keep your control in check? I do not believe you sir.” You laugh.

“And yet, such is the effect you have on me.” He starts kissing your neck, slowly going up. “You mesmerize me in every possible way.” He licks your ear with the tip of his tongue.

“You are really touchy today.” You squirm in his embrace, brushing your soft body against his muscles.

“I have been struck by a real vision.”

“Well thank you sir, I take care of myself!” You joke. “You are quite handsome yourself!”

Your hair has grown too by the time and he buries his nose in it to inhale your scent.

“I want to eat you up.” He says with a growl.

“Aren’t I delectable?” You keep joking.

“You are. Exactly to my taste, but you misunderstood me.” He leans again, blowing on the shell of your ear, sending shivers down your spine, “I want to eat you out until you are a shaking mess in my hands, until you can not remember your own name.” He gives another quick lick to your ear.

His deep voice has such an effect on you, you can’t help but shudder in response, much to his satisfaction. Thrawn proved himself physically affectionate, not shy to express his love physically in public or in private… Especially in private! And even though Thaishi’s birth didn’t stop your sex life, it is true it slowed it down a bit. Your last sexual relationship was some months ago and the new pregnancy didn’t help, even though… Thrawn looks at you differently when you’re pregnant.

You're convinced it teases something deeply buried in his psyche and entrails, it excites him, always looking at you wherever you are, always holding you in his arms in some ways, keeping you to himself…

You remember your first pregnancy, he had his hands all over you all day long, drinking between your legs for long hours, getting more and more unhinged as your tummy started to get bigger and bigger.

Maybe it is one of his kinks… You have the occasion to verify it today…

You turn to face him with a cheeky grin.

“So you like me pregnant.” You state.

“It is a wonder of nature.”

“Is that it?” You innocently pull on your shirt to reveal your belly to his eyes.

The light growl emanating from him was unmistakable. His gleaming eyes seem to shine brighter and you think you see him gulp.

“Just a wonder of nature?” You insist, blinking your eyes naively.

“I wonder what kind of reaction you expect of me, flashing your pregnant belly to me.”

“I don’t know… Maybe I am simply curious?”

He raises an eyebrow in response, not buying your innocent act.

“Curious?” He repeats cautiously.

“Curious about the fantasy of my man… What titillates him, what excites him, what drives him absolutely…” You keep your act, drawing sweet circles with your nail on your heavy tummy. “... Crazy.”

He takes a deep breath, eyes locked on your round belly, clearly interested in what you have to offer. His growl takes a dive in the deeper tone, squinting his eyes, trying to maintain his cool in front of your insolent temptation allurement.

He remains very set back in his fantasies, never truly revealing his true taste, preferring to oblige yours instead so you have only an unfinished portrait of his kinks.

But this…

This caught his attention well and you intend to play a bit with it.

“I feel like I have your full attention.” you smile cheekily.

“You do.” he says, cautious of your little game, but so tempted.

“My belly is so soft and warm, if only you could feel it like I do.” You tease mercilessly. “Do you like me pregnant with your child?”

“Yes. A lot.” His voice is no more than a growl now.

He extends his hand to caress your tummy and you slap it immediately. He groans, displeases, and frowns in response.

“No touch. You can only admire.”

“You have no mercy.” He mediates, “Will you really deny me?”

“Maybe. After all, physical exhaustion is really bad for me, I don’t know if letting you do what you want is good for the baby.” You clap back without pity for him.

“I do believe what I have in mind is really good for both of you.” He insinuates lowly.

“You have no proof of what you say.”

“Really? We can go ask the healer right now and we will know where we stand.” He responds without missing a bit, absolutely serious.

You observe him haughtily, like you’re not believing him and don’t intend to give up. He presses himself tighter to you. You wonder how it would get if you pushed him to his limits…

He has always been soft and tender to you, but you’re curious. How is he when he is mad? When you push his dominant tendencies?

You refrain from smiling like a deviant.

“Let me show you what I mean, and you will judge for yourself.” He proposes.

“I do not know if I will let you, mister. I am not convinced.” You put your hand on his mouth to push him back with a grin.

He licks your palm to get rid of your hand with a dark gaze.

“Do not play with me.” He warns.

“Or what? What will you do to your heavily pregnant wife?” You tease.

He flinches imperceptibly at the mention of your pregnancy, growling deeply like an annoyed animal.

“You couldn’t hurt a fly. I am not afraid in the slightest, mister.”

He looks at you intently and suddenly his Intense gaze melts into sparkling eyes and he lets out a sneer.

“You will not gain what you want by playing with my ego, Cha’cah.”

Oh Makers damn it!

“Come on!” You insist, pressing yourself more against him, “Humor me!”

“No.” He chuckles, amused like he would with a child, “You will not win that fight.”

“Pffffff… You’re no fun.” You purse your lips, sulking.

“On the contrary, I can be a lot of fun.” He embraces you tightly, “You just need to find the right levers.”

“I had one! You clearly were hanging onto every word when I showed you my belly!” You contest.

“Indeed. And you would have won if you kept playing with this strategy, but you made the tactical error of changing the point of pressure.”

You grumble, frustrated. You were really curious, how is sex with him when he’s mean and overly dominant?

“Do not frown, cheo cha’cah. You need not to play the temptress to seduce me, your innate charms work wonders.” He tries to soothe you.

“I wanted to see how it would go if you were mean and harsh.” You pout.

“Being mean and harsh to you is not appealing to me. I would rather honor you than demeaning you in any way.” He kisses your forehead.

You’re still deadly curious.

“I will find a way, one day.” You promise, seething.

“Do not sulk, my love.” He smiles, entertained, “Let me take care of you, it will ease the tension between your eyebrows, my darling.” He continues, lowering himself to kiss your clavicle and going more south.

He kisses your tummy reverently, leaving sweet kisses all over it while caressing it. You feel the baby giving him a kick and he responds with a final, loving peck.

“They too are quite energetic.” He notes, satisfied, “You keep giving me healthy and strong children. Thank you.”

He then reports his attention to your skirt that he slides down your hips and legs with ease. Still pouting, you close your legs shut to deny him, he chuckles again, sliding his hands between the flesh of your thighs and successfully opening them for him.

“Come on now, there is no need to be difficult, sweet thing. I know you love it when I go down on you.”

It’s true.

With him being so good at it, you can only love it in return. But he doesn’t want to entertain your fancy so you won’t entertain his. You cross your arms over your chest with a grumble.

“You are unbelievable, cheo Cha’cah. You act like a spoiled child.” You hear his smug smile in his voice, hidden behind your stomach. “But I know how to make you react, I know everything about you.”

You feel the cold air on your pussy as he slides your panties on the side, he blows on your clit playfully, sending a shiver down your spine again but you refrain from the whine that threatens to pass your lips.

“I will have you sing soon enough, my love.” He says with his usual confidence.

He takes a sloppy lick at your pussy and you greet your teeth together.

Do not make a sound! Do not make a sound! Do not make a sound!

Unimpressed by your headstrong attitude, he keeps licking your pussy lips lazily, like a tired, lascivious king, moaning his own pleasure for you.

He also knows that you absolutely love hearing him moan and groan, vocalizing his pleasure out loud, it goes straight to your empty pussy that starts to signify to you that it is scandalously empty.

He laps at your cunny slowly with the flat of his tongue, trailing your slit with his tip and sucking your nervous clit. You bite your lips and dig your nails into the flesh of your arms to maintain control over yourself.

“Your pussy is more honest than you are.” He notes, “It gets wetter to my touch while you childishly refuse to indulge.”

Oh, he’s one to talk about indulgence, mister frugal lifestyle!

“You do not! I am a dry ice cube! In fact I’m starting to get bored!” You manage to let out in a hurry before any tremors come to shake your voice.

Again he simply chuckles at you.

“You will break, my love.” He simply announces, kissing your sweet pussy between each word. “That is an absolute certainty.”

You’ll show him you can maintain control over your own person. You will not break!

But he is right on one point, your pussy does get wetter by the seconds, at you great damn.

You keep your jaws closed shut, froward. He resumes laving at your soft pussy that gets softer and softer as your blood travels south. You feel him spread your pussylips with his fingers to lick your hidden, tender flesh.

You feel your abdominals contracting at his sweet touch, and it didn’t escape him.

“Oh? Are those the first shivers of your undeniable pleasure?” He teases.

“I’m just cold.” You bite back

“Not for long, sweet thing. I will make sure of it.”

As he keeps licking your now dripping pussy you start hearing his purr resonating in the hut. He enjoys himself very much. He loves eating you out as much as you do, if not more. You suddenly feel his tongue entering your wet cavern and start tonguefucking you.

A single moan escapes you before you press your hand on your mouth. His purr drops down to deeper tones, sending shivers through your puffy, wet, walls, raising your hardly refutable pleasure…

“My little bird does not wish to sing for me? It is alright, I will have you crying, Cha’cah.”

And he starts fucking you harshly in retaliation, his tongue waving and grazing your G spot with such ease it is almost comical. His hand comes to flicker and press your clit, puffy with blood. He makes it roll between his fingers, titillates it consciously as he drinks your slick as he would drink water.

Maker those debauched sounds…

How the wet sounds of your little pussy and his grunts sound to your ears… This is highly depraved and debaucherous.

So exciting… Argh! Get a grip of yourself! Do not let him win!

He is… motivated, to say the least. He must have taken your vow of silence as a personnel challenge because he seems determined to have you cum hard and rapidly. He is eating you out with energy and a will you only encountered when you fought him in battle.

Despite your closed mouth, your uncontrollable whimpers can be heard well in this little room and it is the sweetest melody to his ears, only encouraging him to double his efforts. He eats you out enthusiastically, nastily, roughly, abusing your tender flesh with his swollen lips. He continues moaning without any shame, letting you know that he has no qualms enjoying himself to the fullest while you hold on to a childish pride.

Your dripping pussy convulses around his wet, flexible limb as he brushes your gummy spot with his tip expertly, making your pleasure rise more and more until it comes crashing down upon you. Your little cunny clenches painfully around his tongue and you come against his mouth and against your will.

“What a remarkably honest body you have, cheo Cha’cah. Letting me know everything I need to know without a fuss. Guiding me through your true desires so eagerly.”

“You’re full of yourself!” you spit out.

He gently kisses your thighs, licking you soft, plump flesh with a deep moan.

“Abandon your immature act and just enjoy yourself. Why deny yourself like that, little rebel?” He asks curiously

You do not respond like a mutineer.

“Sometimes I do not understand you.” He sighs.

He kisses your pussy reverently, like he gallantly kisses your hand before rising up to free his erection of his constrictive pants. You look away, stubborn, refusing to look at the member that used to give you so many orgasms before.

“You looking away will not impede the inevitable.”

You feel him coat his shaft with your essence, brushing his cock between your slit back and forth, soaking it with your slick. It brushes against your erected, nervous clit and you have to fight another mewl rising in your throat.

“Your body gives me so much pleasure, I am thankful to you, my love.” He lets you know with a tone of secrets, “We should indulge more, sharing such intimate moments is so important to build a healthy relationship. I know our sex life slowed down since we became parents, but I still look at you as a woman first, not only a mother, with all the desires and craving it implies.” He continues.

He’s trying to win you over! To make you lower your defenses! You’ll not surrender for some sugary words, you have more will than that! He sighs lasciviously and unfastens his long hair, letting them frame his handsome face and draping his large shoulders. You gasp at this gorgeous sight.

“I know you think I am trying to sweeten you. I am simply telling my truth.” He brushes his noses in the crook of your neck, caressing your full tummy so tenderly. “Even if you obstinate yourself to deny yourself pleasure for an infantile vagaries, it will not prevent me from doing my best to satisfy you as it is my duty, cheo Cha’cah.” He informs you as a sentence.

You close your eyes shut as he pushes himself inside you, his size making it difficult for your little pussy. You press your lips in a thin line as he splits you in two with his massive member.

“I missed how your little pussy strangles me.” He gasps, deeply satisfied.

He keeps pushing further, pushing your inner flesh apart until you feel his tip brushing your cervix deep, deep inside your most secret place.

You gulp, bracing yourself for what is to come.

“You are so tense, my love. You should relax.” He says tenderly, “There is no need to make the experience uncomfortable for you.”

“I am 8 months pregnant, I do not simply "relax "." You mock.

“A deep and warm orgasm should help you get more comfortable, my sweet. You can count on me.” He keeps offering you sweet words.

He starts moving, with shallow thrusts, taking it easy on your sore body. You breathe deeply through your nose, trying not to focus on the delicious sensations his ridges give you, how wonderfully full you feel with him inside, how right it feels to have your husband like that. A strangled yelp escapes you as he resumes teasing your clit with his hand as he thrusts into you.

“Give me your hand.” He orders softly.

You feel him trail your arm until he reaches your hand and intertwines your fingers together.

He deepens his thrusts, going deeper, slipping out almost entirely leaving just the tip inside and pushes it back in languorously, undulating his hips against yours.

You try so hard to fight back the waves of pleasure, tensing up your muscles under his inquisitive gaze, but he gives you so much, it is so hard to shield yourself completely when he puts so much energy and love in each of his thrusts, forcing you to endure the delight he offers. You feel tears building up behind your eyes.

You hiss as he rocks his hips with a quicker pace, sliding in and out easily thanks to your first orgasm, the waves of pleasure poisoning your veins and nerves ending.

“You are so reactive for someone who refuses pleasure.” He placidly notes, “You can try and hide as much as you want, you cannot lie to me, my love. I know you too well. Your body is an open book to me. Denying it is… useless.” He says, modulating his deep, melodious voice as he knows you prefer.

You shake your head vehemently.

“I experienced your body for years, sweet thing. I know it as well as mine. I studied it carefully, each and every single one of your reactions. I know how to please it, I know how to bring it to the verge of an earth shattering orgasm.”

He is so confident in his capacities to please you, you’ll give him that. He keeps rubbing your clit and you try to escape his sweet touch but he grasps your hips and impales you back on his cock, burying it to the hilt. You whine.

“You will not escape it.” It is as much a promise as it is a threat.

He accelerates his pace again, bullying himself into you without any mercy. Your cunny desperately tries to accommodate his size, clenching pathetically around his girthy shaft.

“Those are the reactions I like.” He says smugly. “Kiss me, cheo Cha’cah.”

He lowers himself to reach your lips but you turn your head away.

“Are you so cold hearted to deny me your lips?”

You grumble and swiftly kiss his cheek.

“Satisfied?” you bare your teeth.

“Thank you. But I hoped for more.”

You purse your lips but let him kiss you, you feel him purring against your mouth. You open your mouth and he enters it with his tongue to dance with yours. He squeezes your hand with his as he deepens the kiss, looming over your body. You growl in the kiss but feel his lips draw in a smile.

So you bite his lips in retaliation.

He licks the little bead of blood away, looking at you with a pleased expression.

“I love when you defy me.” He says lowly, keeping his hard pace, “I love it even more when it is clear you will lose.”

“I am losing nothing!”

“I have the clear memory of making you cum two minutes ago. And you will suffer another defeat in less than three. How does it feel, little rebel? Knowing your greatest efforts go to waste against a superior will.”

“Imperial dog!” You spit.

“Keep that energy up, my love.” He kisses your cheek.

He accentuates his hips action, making you squeal uncontrollably.

“Ca-Careful the baby!” You warn indignant.

“The baby is fine.” He replies with a mocking tone, “In fact, they can sense how good their mother feels. I reckon they must enjoy themself thoroughly with you squirming so desperately under my touch.”

“I… Fuck you!”

He snickers and raises on his knees, forcing your hips up in the air. He digs his fingers in the flesh of your plump hips to keep you in place, doing so he removed all control you had over the action. Now you are truly a victim of his will.

“Such foul language. I better understand Thaishi’s manners.”

He slows down the pace to give a circling motion of his hips to vary the sensations, making sure his girth rubs every sensitive spot in your vagina. You tremble terribly in his hands, like struck by lightning. You bite down your lips terribly to not moan.

To no avail…

“Ah yes, the sweet moans of my muse. It only motivates me to work harder for you.”

He plundges his cock deep, scratching every itch, making you sing against your will. You feel tears rolling on your flushed lips as you try to catch up your breath under such physical exercises.

He leans forward to lick your tears away, the salt tingling on his darted tongue deliciously.

“You are beautiful, my sweet. Crying your pleasure out loud like that.”

Embarrassed, you hide your eyes with one arm, only for him to grip it immediately to take it off.

“No, Cha’cah. You do not get to hide from me.”

“Pl-please finish soon…” You beg.

You have enough of this trial and humiliation, you’re too tired to get this beating. Something snapped in your stomach, begging for him to reach his climax and yours with it.

“Finishing this early? But I feel plenty full of ardor today, I had in mind to keep going for one or two hours more. Just to be sure you orgasmed correctly, I would hate to have you unsatisfied, my love, your enjoyment is my priority.”

You tremble, shaken by spasms, convulsing in pleasure, stiffness reaching all of your limbs as the waves of pleasure incapacitate you as they spread in your veins. You feel your little pussy gaping around his shaft desperately trying to keep him in.

“Okay… You won, I surrender. Please, finish soon..” You say panting, gasping for air at each of his powerful thrust.

“My, my, you are giving up so easily, my dear. But your wish is my command.”

He adjusts his position, and installs a break-necking pace. You’re being pushed against the mattress without mercy and you bite your tongue in the confusion. You cannot help the squeals escaping your pretty mouth while he moans in tandem with your plaints.

Your pussy clenches hard as you come, trying to retain him inside, strangling him just like he loves sending him over the edge. He slows down his pace and comes undone inside.

You’re shaking, crying, getting back from your high as he puts his forehead against yours, caressing your cheek.

“Cha’cah?” He calls in a whisper, “Are you alright?”

You nod, your visage hidden in your hands, catching your breath. He kisses your hands before taking them off your face and pecks your cheek and nose.

“Breath deep, cheo Cha’cah. Easy.”

He holds you tight, cradling your body tenderly.

“There… Breath. Everything is alright.”

You gasp, wiping your tears away.

“Oh Maker…” You whimper.

He brushes his nose with yours, his long hair framing his gorgeous face.

“Everything is fine, you are with me, my love.” He keeps soothing you.

A sigh mixed with a gasp escapes you as you feel your heart calming down in your chest. Thrawn keeps kissing your face tenderly, holding your cheek in his warm palm. He slips out of you, leaving you intolerably empty and slides to the side where he takes you in his arms to hold you close. You bury your face in his neck and breathe in his musk to calm down, his hand comes caressing your hair gently, appeasingly.

“I love you.” He murmurs.

“I love you too… “ You respond, exhausted.

“We should bathe.”

“I'm too tired… “ You complain, nudging against him

“Come on, ch'eo vir. Let me help.”

He rises with 8 months pregnant you in his arms and heads towards the river where he bathes you both conscientiously, laying you against his naked chest, surrounded by fresh water. You doze off, too relaxed to keep your eyes open.

---------------

You were playing with Thaishi when you heard a familiar sound resonate through the air like a loud bang. Immediately, the sky darkens, the sun disappears and a weird silence takes place in the village, everyone looking up.

You raise your head, gulping, and Thaishi points to the large object in the sky.

“Mum, what's that?” she asks, as fascinated as she appears terrified.

Massive and large, the ISD floats over the village like a dark presage, brining death and fire with it.

“This is…” You start, feeling panic rising, “This is…”

The two headed serpent leave no doubt who’s ISD it is.

They’re here for Thrawn!

You pick up Thaishi in your arms precipitaly, making her yelp in surprise and run to your hut, hugging her tight. When you arrive you see Thrawn passing the doorframe in his white uniform, hair cut and black boot unsoiled.

You almost hit him with your speed, but you stop just in time.

“Thrawn!”

“I know, Cha’cah. Do not worry.”

“But… Where does this uniform come from? Why are they here? Why-”

“I managed to contact them.” He drops the bomb.

You look at him completely dumbfounded, at loss for words.

“What? But… How could you…”

He put his hands on your shoulders to ground you.

“Cha’cah, we are going home.”

You feel like the ground just opened under your feet and would swallow you whole. Your legs give up under you, in shock, but Thrawn catches you and Thaishi expertly.

“(Y/n)! Are you alright?”

“Mom?” Your daughter calls for you in the hands of her father, afraid.

You close your eyes.

You cannot believe it.

The day you feared the most came. You will be separated, torn apart, never to see each other again.

Some villagers came to you when you fell, Thrawn let you in their care, kissing your forehead and heading towards the Chief huts.

When you reopen your eyes, you are in the healer’s hut. You discard the wet fabric she placed on your forehead and go outside.

The ISD is here.

Ominous and threatening.

You reel for some steps before straightening yourself. Here you find Thrawn holding Thaishi, the Chiefs and a woman in an imperial uniform.

Where did he hide this perfectly neat uniform? During all those years he hid it from you, well tidied in a box, awaiting its hour. You suddenly feel a spick of ire in your vein at the sight of that clean white.

Thrawn turns towards you, and a light smile comes lightening his face.

“There she is. Commodore Faro I want you to meet Lady (F/n). My wife.”

Faro slowly bows to you, but something in her eyes displeases you.

She knows who you are.

She doesn’t recognize you as a crew member of Thrawn ships and the only other people present that day were Rebels.

She knows.

She gives a side glance at her Grand Admiral but abstains from any comments.

“Lady (F/n).” She politely but coldly greets.

“Everything is taking care of, Cha’cah.” Thrawn continues, “We will embark everyone on board and exit that planet.”

You turn your head to the chiefs, interrogating them with your eyes.

“We agreed to let your husband temper with the ship if he promised us to take us with you.”

“But.. You’ve been here for a millennia… This is your home… Your planet.”

“We are wanderers at heart, our place is flying through space, not remaining on a single rock.”

You turn back to Thrawn, mouth agape and tears behind the eyes.

“Thrawn… You cannot be serious…”

“Cha’cah.” He cuts you softly, “Our place is not here, our home and duties are away from this planet. It is time for us to go.”

You want to slap him across the face, scream at him, telling him that he will never know the child you bare, that he is killing this family.

“Leave me here with Thaishi.” You just say weakly.

You cannot resume your combat, you cannot fight your husband even if you know you’re in the right, you cannot say goodbye to your children and leave them alone.

“I am not leaving you on this backwater planet, love.” He warns, “We discussed this subject matter and agreed. Thaishi and the baby will be sent to the Ascendancy and live a safe life while we will go back to our responsibilities.”

“How can you say that?” You feel ire rising in your veins.

“We are both warriors. We both know our duties would supplant everything in our life.”

“Thrawn…” You beg.

He caresses your cheek and his thumb swipe one silent tear that rolls on your skin, you sob.

“Those four years have been a blessing. The miracle I stopped hoping for.” He presses his forehead against yours, looking you in the eyes with a sigh, “But the dream must end. It is time now to wake up and advance.”

“Thrawn…” Your voice is no more than a pathetic plea.

“I know, Cha’cah. I will never stop loving you and will cherish those memories I have with you both. But it is time…”

He extends his hand to you with a comforting smile while your image of him gets blurry with tears.

“Come home with me, my love?”

@bluechiss @thrawnalani @justanothersadperson93 @al-astakbar@thrawnspetgoose @readinglistfics @elise2174 @debonaire-princess @twilekchiss @pencil-urchin @ineedazeezee @mssbridgerton @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @Cortisolcosplay @obbicrystaleo @germie2037

☆Tag list

#thrawn x reader #thrawn x you #thrawn x f!reader #thrawn #grand admiral thrawn #mitth’raw’nuruodo #fanfic #vibratingskull #thrawn smut

50 notes · View notes

evansbby · 9 months

Text

POYT 5 - My thoughts & commentary

MAJOR SPOILERS below the cut! Only proceed if you've read POYT 5.

Also, I will be answering all feedback this weekend! I wanted to give it a week so that more people would read it and because the feedback will contain spoilers.

Anyways, here are my thoughts (warning, this is long lmao)

Hey everyone

First off, I just want to say how thankful I am for the support for this fic. I never thought I’d finish it and to see it finished more than a year after the first chapter was posted and to see how many of you stuck around and didn’t give up on it is truly heartwarming! Thank you for letting me tell my story, thank you for supporting me, thank you for egging me on to finish it, thank you for sharing your thoughts and words of encouragement, thank you, thank you, thank you! I know sometimes I may come across as unthankful. And I’ll be so honest with you guys, a few days following the posting of POYT 5, I was so, so emotional and on edge and kind of upset because I thought the fic was not getting as much feedback as I thought it would. Which is crazy to think since we got it to 1000 notes in 24 hours!!

But I understand that people take time to read something so long, and it’s so much content that people need time to gather their thoughts. I get that. I’m just a very emotional person, which is why it may have seemed like I got upset. I poured my heart and soul into this fic for the past six months, so I will be emotional about it. That being said, I really want to stress on the fact that I AM super thankful towards the people who supported me and sent in amazing feedback, or reblogged and wrote their feedback down! I’ve read every single feedback so far maybe about three times!! I can’t wait to answer it so we can fully have an in-depth discussion about the story!

ALSO. And this is so important. POYT IS A DARK FIC. Steve, no matter what redemption I gave him, is a whole ass red flag in real life. He’s still a dark character, he is still someone that would totally be a villain in real life. POYT is a work of complete fiction, so please don’t think that because she ended up living happily ever after with Steve, that I condone that in real life. I think we are all old enough to understand that this is just me exploring a dark relationship in FICTION. In real life, this would be considered toxic and abusive. PLEASE remember that. Do not be with a poyt!Steve in real life. Please.

Now, to the fic itself. I’ll explain more when I answer the asks but let me just share my main thought-process behind it. I know a lot of people expected Peter to take Omega away and for Omega and Steve to be apart for a chunk of the story. I NEVER wanted to do anything like that. I believe I’ve mentioned it a few times but I don’t really love it when this happens in stories I read, and I always skip to the part where the reader and her man are back together. So I knew I didn’t want to do this.

There WAS an early iteration of the story where Peter takes Omega back to his apartment and she spends the night in his guest-room (she doesn’t want to sleep in the same room as him, she doesn’t hate him or anything but it feels wrong to her). Peter would have made her block Steve’s number and told her to just sleep on it. But she would’ve cried all night and missed Steve so much that she would’ve unblocked him. Of course, her phone would be flooded with calls and texts from Steve, ranging from angry to sad to demanding to know where she is to blaming Peter to blaming Omega. Really erratic texts like “I told you I loved you and you left me,” to “fuck you, I will never forgive you,” to “sorry I didn’t mean that please come back, baby, I miss you.” And she would have called him back but hung up quickly before he could alpha-command her into telling him where she is (she wouldn’t want to endanger Peter). And then Omega herself would’ve left and gone back to Steve.

I didn’t do this because, honestly, Peter would never “kidnap” Omega. I know a lot of people used the word kidnap but honestly that’s not what was going on. Peter thought he was saving her, but she had already decided in Part 4 that it was Steve she couldn’t live without. In Part 4, she says she could live without her mom and without Peter, but not without Steve. She’s already said yes to his proposal, there was no doubt she was going to stay with Steve. Maybe a little bit because Steve had only promised to be better at that point, and he had not proven it. But we all know Omega always saw the best in Steve, always wanted him to be better, always wanted him deep down. It wouldn’t make sense for her to stay quiet and let Peter take her all the way back to his apartment. I know she’s always been confused and indecisive, but I wanted her to be firm in that moment. Because she has chosen to be with Steve. At that moment, she doesn’t know why and she’s still confused about her feelings for Steve, but she knows she can’t live without him. So she chooses to stay with him within the first few sentences of the fic.

I remember a few months ago I received an ask saying that they expected Omega and Steve to stay apart for about 10k words of POYT 5, and I read that thinking “OMG is this what people are expecting???” because PERSONALLY, I would skip the fuck out of those 10k words if reader wasn’t with her love interest for 10k whole words. That’s just me personally, everyone has a different opinion but yeah. I tried to stay as true to MYSELF in this fic as possible, and ultimately, this is how I wanted it to play out.

I wanted POYT 5 to be about Steve and Omega and their interactions with each other. Because if you look back at the four parts before this… why exactly are we rooting for this couple? Have they had any sweet or romantic moments? They have, but very few and far between. Have they even had normal conversations? I needed their relationship to grow and evolve so that it would GENUINELY be a happy ending. I wanted the over-arching theme to be their interactions evolving, and Steve saying he loves her and her being unable to say it back. Which is why, if you noticed, almost every time Steve would say he loved her, he’d wait expectantly for her to say it back, and withdraw when she didn’t.

I’d say my biggest struggle was writing Steve (as it always is). I wanted his character development to be believable. But I think people need to remember that he had already turned a new leaf in POYT 4. And so POYT 5 was more about him demonstrating how he’d change, and keeping true to the promises he made to her in the previous part. I really hope you recognised that I tried to do it gradually, and that he’s trying to be better but still struggling with it.

For example: when he steps away from fighting Peter, you can tell he’s fighting with himself and this manifests through his literal physical features. How his face contorts before bouncing back then contorting again. I focused a LOT on describing Steve’s physical features in that part (so much so that I had to cut out whole paragraphs that just focused on describing his expression changing).

And then his panic attack. I got a message saying that was very out of character for Steve (I’ll respond to that message, don’t you worry, anon). But I really do not think it was OOC. Look, in fics this long, characters need to evolve. And Steve has been cold, calculated, strong, put-together for the whole of POYT so it honestly makes sense that he would lose it. To me, it does. He already lost it a few times in POYT 4, so it would make sense that he’d lose it some more. I know a lot of people enjoy reading him as this all-powerful alpha male and I was like that too, but I had to write this because it felt right to me. Steve is very emotionally volatile, and I think it was fitting that he had a panic attack. It shows another side of him, and I was proud of that scene. I’ll elaborate on this more when I answer that anon. But let me just say this: usually, when Steve got angry in the past – he’d resort to physical violence or some form of twisted, calculated revenge. He cannot do that to Peter, because he knows now that omega won’t forgive him if he did. So, in that moment, he kind of just… breaks. He doesn’t know how to process his emotions properly, so he panics. He’s seen his omega kiss someone else, and then he’s had to listen to that same person call him out in front of everyone and basically told him no one would ever love him. We KNOW Steve is insecure deep down, and so it’s honestly not very surprising that he had a panic attack. Villainous, macho characters can have panic attacks too, anon. They aren’t just reserved for the good characters.

Anyways, this is getting too long but moving on. I really hoped I captured Steve’s growth in a gradual, somewhat realistic way. Like how he blurts out that her mother won’t care about her getting married before he cuts himself off (him being tactful when before, he’d manipulated her and said this VERY thing). In the road trip scene, his communication still isn’t the best but at least he is TRYING, with that “game” that he plays just so he can ask her questions about her feelings. Like, he couldn’t straight up ask her and he had to make it into a game but like… it’s poyt!Steve after all so what do you expect haha. And when they’re at her childhood home, he’s still that guy who goes through all her stuff and pokes fun at her… but the difference is that it’s now turned into gentle teasing and not mean teasing, like how it was in the first few chapters.

Speaking of them going back to omega’s childhood home, I hope you guys caught on that omega realises her mom has left the moment she opens her mom’s bedroom door and sees the bed stripped and dresser empty. That’s why she gasps. But she doesn’t want to accept it, which is why she refuses to believe it. I’m sure everyone caught on to that but I’m just explaining anyways because why not. I’ll also say that writing this part made me cry so hard, I don’t know why. I have a very good relationship with my mother, she’s my whole entire life and she’s the best woman I know. So, to write a character who just does not have that… I don’t know why but it really affected me. And every time I reread this part to edit it, I cried. Every time. Especially the part where she talks about the ghost of her younger self playing in the garden. Like I’m tearing up now… Oh God!!! Also, when she breaks down and starts screaming at her mom’s door, I remember I wrote a part where she takes off her shoe and throws it at the door. I cut it out but I wish I’d kept it in in hindsight, just to show how raw and hurt she felt.

Anyways, as a lot of you messaged me saying this, you’re right, this was the moment where something snaps in Steve and he changes. It’s like he realises everything she’s been through and is still going through, and all the hurt and grief HE caused her. It’s never explicitly mentioned, but since the bathtub scene, Steve is afraid she’s going to kill herself. Like, that’s just a very real thing in his head, he’s just afraid she’s going to do that and he’d have been the main driving factor behind it. And so he realises he HAS to change. It’s in the way he doesn’t get mad at her when she tells him to fuck off, when she makes that dig at him and says he doesn’t have hardworking parents who work long hours. I wanted to convey that in that moment, her mental well-being just becomes his number one priority and he realises he could lose her. Maybe not physically, but he could still lose her. Which is why he gets so desperate in the end, and pleads with her to stay with him.

WHICH IS WHY, from then on, we see Steve being very communicative all of a sudden. And it’s ironic, because he’s not communicative about his own shit but he wants omega to voice all her concerns. That is why we get so much of “baby, tell me how you’re feeling.” Simply put, he’s afraid she’ll kill herself, and he also wants to be more communicative in order to improve their relationship and be better for her. Which is why he kind of throws himself into this new persona of this ultra communicative, ultra vocal about his love type of boyfriend. Like, he really lays it on thick, but he means it… and it also comes from a place of desperation, like he NEEDS her to get better. He knows deep down he’s about to lose his mother, but he cannot lose omega too. So if some of you thought it was OOC for him being SO SO SO vocal about his declarations of love and all his sweet little speeches, well, this is why I did it.

Speaking of Mrs. Rogers, she was a big talking point amongst all of you in the feedback I got! Like, overwhelmingly so! All I’ll say is, the whole cancer thing is something I pictured for her for a long time. But there WAS an early iteration of Steve’s parents where we would’ve met them in POYT 4 during Steve’s graduation and they would’ve been snooty and not approved of Omega. But somewhere along the way, that all changed. But I do want to stress that I did not mean to give the impression that Steve’s mom having cancer is the reason why he’s a bully. He was a bully alpha way before his mother got sick. Maybe it contributed a little bit but it does not excuse his behaviour at all and I never meant for it to! Honestly, it was more about exploring just how delusional and scared Steve really is, deep down. Like, his inability to accept that his mother is dying is very similar to omega refusing at first to accept that her mom left her. It’s more about how both the main characters push their problems aside and are often unable to accept them head on. It also added another facet to Steve’s character, and made things that little bit more heartbreaking, which was my intention.

Oh my fucking God, this is already 2.4k words??? Anyways, I really want to talk about the Rogers’ family mansion. So, since I was a child, I was obsessed with this author called VC Andrews who wrote Flowers in the Attic. When I say obsessed, I mean that I read each of her books like six or seven times and I still reread them till this day. To the point where my writing is influenced by her. Anyways, her stories were often rags-to-riches, and the heroine always describes a mansion. I was entranced reading about Foxworth Hall from FitA and Farthingale Manor from Heaven (if you guys haven’t read these books, please do. They are so, so good. I write the way I write because I read these books). So when I wrote the scene of Steve’s mansion, I wanted it to have that gothic horror family saga type feel, and so there were a lot of descriptions of just how big his house was, how his family literally had a ballroom and used to host galas, I really just wanted to paint a full picture of that. And then amongst all those riches, is Steve’s mom, a woman who is sick, whose husband is always away, whose son is too scared to come see her anymore. The sadness and secrets in all the wealth, that’s what I wanted to capture. If you guys have read Flowers in the Attic, you’d maybe understand what I mean. I deviated a bit from the usual style of POYT for these few scenes in Steve’s mansion, but I enjoyed writing them immensely.

More on Steve’s character: at this point I wanted to show that he was changing but that he wasn’t perfect and change doesn’t happen overnight. Which is why he lashes out at her for not saying she loves him back (right after sex, mind you, when she’s feeling extra vulnerable). It was a mean thing to do, but again, nobody is perfect and least of all him. Also, idk if anyone caught this bc no one has commented on it as of yet, but she almost slipped in the shower because she was trying to chase after him :// POYT 5 could’ve been a lot sadder just then… but I decided not to go there. Anyways, I wanted to show that Steve was still impulsive, quick to get angry. But the key difference is HE CAME BACK. And comforted her. I just wanted to show his gradual growth there.

I feel like I’m doing too much now so let me speed through the rest. I really tried to sprinkle in a lot of moments where Steve was being his cocky self, because he still is that and always will be. He’s still got his rules, and he’s being lax about them but at the end of the day he’s still an alpha. What I’m trying to say is, in the future, he’s not going to be the manipulative, childish, toxic fuckboy that he was before. But he WILL ultimately still be the misogynistic alpha that he always was, albeit a lot less intense and mean than before.

The scene with Bucky was always, always going to happen. All that Bucky stuff was leading up to something, and I always planned to do this. But when I actually got to writing it and realised how lame this man sounded when he was listing his problems “Steve always got the better car” etc, I knew I had to have omega comment on how dumb his problems were compared to hers. Because they are!!! It was ridiculous at the end of the day. I know a lot of people expected a fight with Peter and Steve, but that was never going to happen in full. It was always Steve vs Bucky to me. They have more history, they’re both more evenly matched in physical strength. Also, I want to clarify that at this point, Bucky did not have any feelings for omega, she was just an object to him that he could not have, and it was the last straw for him. I left Bucky’s fate as open-ended, maybe one day I’ll go back to that.

The final scene was ALWAYS meant to be omega marking Steve and finally telling him she loves him too. Like, I had this pictured since day one. This was always, always going to be the ending.

In terms of her and Peter, I really struggled with what type of ending I could give them. Because realistically, if I was Peter, I’d still be angry. I’d still be in disbelief over my best friend being with a man who is just… Not Good. And I do think Peter deep down still feels that way, but he also knows he cannot persuade omega, and so he has to move on. He sent her a wedding card but, in my head, they do not keep in touch. Steve doesn’t want her to keep in touch with him, and honestly, there isn’t much for Peter and omega to say to each other anymore. Which I think is realistic. It’s sad but it’s realistic.

One of the hardest parts for me was making sure to tie up every single loose end. Like for example, Sharon. In an earlier iteration, I had originally planned for Steve to somehow sabotage Sharon and keep her from graduating as revenge for her being mean to omega. In the end, I decided against this. Sharon is not important to Steve, she is not that important to the story either, and honestly, she wouldn’t have deserved that at all. So, I left her alone. I hope she’s doing well.

Same with other tiny loose ends, like who fixed Steve Junior? Originally, I genuinely DID mean that Steve simply paid someone else to fix her. But A LOT of you sent me messages asking if it was Steve himself who fixed him… and it just made so much sense! Because the stitching is done lowkey badly and unevenly, so of course it was Steve! I added that part in right at the end! Also the sketchbook part, where Steve sketches his mom. That was added like, on the day of me posting the fic. I was so paranoid I missed something, but I don’t think I did??

Mr. Rogers wasn’t meant to be in the fic at all. I wanted to keep him mysterious. But in the end, I decided to add him in last second. And I liked that he and his wife are so in love, but I feel like he’s still a mysterious character – especially in his relationship towards his son.

Lastly, Steve was ALWAYS gonna be a girl dad. That was never a question. Like… come on. We all saw that one coming!!!

Now all I can say is that Steve (the one on my blog who answers questions) is going to be SO smug that he got his omega back (after like two minutes of him losing her lmao). LIKE?? He proved all of you wrong hahahaha. The whole time y'all were talking about him sitting at home, heartbroken bc his omega got taken... HE HAD HER THE WHOLE TIME. just a funny thought lol.

ANYWAYS, if you have any questions about the fic, any more deleted scenes you wanna know about, any other things you want to say in response to this? please send them in!!!

#poyt #sorry this is so rambly omfg #my thoughts 💭

59 notes · View notes

meiieiri · 4 months

Note

Hi! Another person here asking about Water's Edge (sorry). This is kind of an insight into your writing and your life, so if you don't feel comfortable with that or just don't wanna share, feel free to ignore this!

You're thinking of discontinuing the series because of lack in interaction, right? I can't think of a smooth way to transition into my question, so I'll just put it bluntly:

Is writing Water's Edge (specifically) something that you're doing for interactions or something you're doing for fun?

That question alone should determine whether or not you should discontinue the series.

If you're doing this purely for interactions, I'd say that I can't really help you. It's up to you if your writing is purely based on interactions.

If it's for fun, then consider how much fun you're having while doing this. Are you having fun writing it? Does it feel more like a chore than something you'd like to do? If it feels like a burden, then stop. Discontinue the series. If it feels like a burden because of interactions, try and disregard interactions and focus on writing. Never let views, interactions, likes, shares, comments, etc– determine the worth or fun of your writing. Ever. You may already know that, but it's just a reminder. If you really liked where the series was headed, then I'd say finish that chapter and see how things go. If you're happy with it and proud of what you did, then I'd say consider continuing it. If you feel like either a huge burden was lifted after finishing it or just genuinely exhausted, try taking a break or just discontinuing it completely. Personally, I was a really consistent poster once. It got boring and exhausting trying to think of new ideas. I'm now only posting once every 2 months, maybe? I feel much better.

Take my advice if you want, but you don't need to be completely swayed by my opinions or personal thoughts. Just take it into consideration. I personally really like Water's Edge. The storyline is interesting and the formatting is unique. I'd love to see more of it, but it'd be awful if you decided to put your work before yourself. If you do discontinue it, please take care of yourself.

Note: Maybe writing shorter chapters will make it less of a chore? The first two chapters were really long. Idk I'm not a writer. Just an idea.

Sorry this was really long. I hope you have a good day 💕 Sorry if something doesn't make sense or if there's grammar mistakes! I'm writing this on my phone :,)

I actually really liked reading this, damn.

And to answer your question, no, I’m not writing purely out of interactions, in fact, I first started writing this series because I really had a good idea on the top of my head, I just think that, with all my exhaustion writing these longass chapters, it’ll be great to see people actually picking it up and showing appreciation or even hate, lmao. Just something to be recognized would have gone a long way but — that’s something the old me would say. I was re-reading the last few chapters and I feel really bad of having to leave it on the table, completely forgotten, because this fic — writing this fic rather – is the closest thing I have to an actual baby :’3

But you’re right, I did a lot of thinking and I’m guessing we’re back on, this is something I’ll see through to the end. However bitter it may be.

Thanks for this, I needed that.

#⚘—letters to ei #fic: water’s edge

28 notes · View notes

whiskey-tango-matcha · 1 year

Text

Long Day, Late Night (m)

Guys, idk what to say, clearly I’m going through a bit of a ~writing hyperfixation~ so please have this 2.5k mishmash I couldn’t get out of my mind even though I literally just posted a fic yesterday.

This one is Greyson-centric, and takes place even earlier than the last one - like just a couple months after Greyson started at the restaurant (btw, the restaurant name is Elliot’s, which you find out in this story). It’s the first time Greyson is sick at work and Elijah is *oblivious*. I hope you like it, as always I’m not about to read it before I post it so you get what you get lmao. Also as always, I love and am obsessed with you all mwah mwah ok here’s the story gtg BYE

cw: male, cold, coughing

Long Day, Late Night

The only small mercy Greyson could think of was that this didn’t happen often.

In fact, Greyson couldn’t think of the last time he’d felt this shitty. It certainly hadn’t been in at least a year; definitely not since he’d started at Elliot’s. He cursed the unspoken chef rule of never calling out, never admitting defeat, and powering through everything; maybe he should’ve taken his mother’s advice and gone into accounting. Greyson seriously doubted that accountants prided themselves on going to work sick.

Greyson pushed through the back doors of the kitchen, squinting at the bright fluorescent lights against a killer headache. Silently, he said a prayer to the universe that today would be an easy day. They had a table of 15 that was supposed to occupy most of the evening – thank god, he found himself thinking. Maybe I can get out of here early.

“Chef,” Elijah greeted Greyson as the chef walked into the office and slammed down his backpack. The GM was fervently typing out a text message, a look of frustration obvious on his face. Greyson yanked off his sweatshirt and pulled his chef’s coat off the back of his chair before returning Elijah’s greeting.

“Boss,” he said, straining against a painfully sore throat. Elijah sighed, clicking his phone off and regarding the chef once again.

“We have a problem,” Elijah said, rubbing a hand down his face. Greyson froze in the midst of buttoning his coat; those were certainly words you didn’t ever want to hear from your boss in your relatively-new position.

“Problemb being…?” Greyson asked, cringing inwardly at the congestion he could already hear in his voice. Fortunately for him, Elijah either didn’t notice or ignored it.

“The fifteen top,” Elijah said, pulling up their reservations on the computer. Greyson peeked over his shoulder and widened his eyes when he saw it.

“Forty?” Greyson asked, incredulous. “Since when has it gone up to forty?”

Elijah sighed again, defeated, and turned back to the chef. “An hour ago they called and asked if they could up their reservation; the hostess answered.”

“The ndew girl? With half a brain and huge tits?”

Elijah snorted. “Yeah. That’s the one.”

“Fuck me, Boss. Tell mbe you called them back and said we can’t do it.”

Elijah winced. “That’s the thing, Chef. It wasn’t them who called; it was the concierge at their hotel. They’re out all day, won’t be back to the hotel until after dinner. So…”

“So we can’t change it,” Greyson groaned. “Fuck. I mean, I don’t know if I even ha – ahh...ahhHSTSHH-ue! NGTSHH-oo! Snrf.” Greyson covered his nose with one hand and snatched a tissue from his and Elijah’s shared desk with the other. He cleaned himself up and crumpled the tissue in his hand before finishing. “I don’t evend kndow if I have enough product.”

“Bless,” Elijah said, distracted. “I know. It’s fucked, and I’m sorry. If we have to change their menu, we can. I’m here for you, chef. I’ll even throw on an apron if you need.”

Greyson groaned once again; of course this would happen today, of all days. The day he woke up aching and congested and with his throat on fire. The one day in his almost-three-months at his new job where he wasn’t planning on working fifteen hours. Greyson bit his cheek against the frustration he felt building inside him and turned back to his boss.

“It’s ok,” he said, attempting a smile. He clapped a hand onto his boss’s shoulder and grabbed his knife bag. “We’ll mbake it work. Thanks for the offer, b – HNGSTH-ue! HRSHH! HFTSHH! Huhhh...Hhh...hnnn.” Greyson swore from the crook of his elbow, cursing that final stuck sneeze. He grabbed another tissue, before thinking twice and grabbing the whole box to take with him.

“Bless, chef. And thank you, you’re a beast,” Elijah said, turning back to the computer once again. “Oh, and one more thing: we still have that tasting with the owners of that winery upstate today. They’ll be in at two – can you still come taste with me?”

Greyson raised an eyebrow and sucked in through his stuffed-up nose again. “Uh. Sure, boss. I’ll mbake it a priority.”

“Appreciate it,” Elijah said, turning to smile at the chef for a moment. “Let me know if you need anything from me.”

***

It wasn’t that Greyson was mad; it wasn’t even that he was disappointed. If anything, Greyson was just...confused.

Don’t get him wrong, Greyson was usually the first person to deny a cold. But he’d known from the moment he opened his eyes that this was no cold; he’d felt the snake-like chokehold of a fever almost immediately, and he’d devolved from a slightly stuffed nose at seven am to near-constant sneezing fits by ten. His throat was nearly closed with pain, and he could already tell that the cough was going to be a problem. He didn’t expect sympathy from his boss, but...some acknowledgment of the fact that he was clearly ill would’ve been nice.

“Huhh...NGSTHH-uhh! HehhGTZSH-ue! Fuckigg hell.” Greyson grabbed yet another tissue from the box he’d placed on his prep station and blew his nose again. His cooks had begun filing in for their shifts, and every one of them had cringed at their chef’s appearance on seeing him.

“Wow, chef,” his sous chef, Matt, had said when he joined his boss at the prep station. “That’s dedication.”

Greyson had made a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat before tossing the tissue and washing his hands. “Ndo choice,” Greyson said, turning to cough into his elbow. When the coughing fit finally subsided, he turned back to Matt. “Fifteend-top’s forty ndow.”

“Oh, Christ,” Matt said, unpacking his knives. “Of course it is. What should I jump on?”

“Butcher the filets, please,” Greyson said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “They’ll be mince mbeat if I try to do themb like this.”

“On it,” Matt said, putting his bag under the table. “You take anything for that?” he asked.

Greyson shook his head. “Ndo timbe. I’ve beend prepping since literally the mboment I walked in.” He started coughing again and Matt raised his eyebrows before striding into the server’s station. He returned a few minutes later with a steaming cup and a handful of pills.

“That’s what the servers have; not sure what they all are but it couldn’t hurt to just take them all,” Matt said, handing them and the cup of tea over to his boss. Greyson choked out a laugh.

“I feel like if anything could hurt it’s taking a savage handful of mbystery pills,” he said, tossing them all into his mouth and swallowing with a mouthful of tea. “But I’mb ndot too proud to admit when I’m desperate.”

“Chef!” Elijah called suddenly, bursting through the kitchen doors, obviously on a mission. “The people from the winery are here. Can you break away for a bit?”

Matt raised an eyebrow at Greyson, who just sighed in return. He turned towards Elijah, who was once again texting someone fervently. “Yeah boss, coming,” he said. When Elijah breezed through the doors into the dining room, Greyson turned back to his sous.

“Hold down the fort for mbe?” he asked. Matt huffed out an amused laugh.

“Sure thing, chef. Good luck, uh, tasting wine.”

“‘Tasting’ will be a strong word for it,” Greyson mumbled, untying his apron and pushing through the kitchen door.

Seated at the corner table was Elijah, a man and woman who looked to be a couple, and about thirty bottles of wine. Greyson’s head pounded at the sight of it, but he took his seat next to Elijah all the same.

“There he is, the man of the hour!” Elijah clapped Greyson on the back as he sat down, and Greyson nodded toward their guests.

“A pleasure,” he said, his voice gravelly. He cleared his throat and asked, “What’re we drinking?”

***

Greyson looked down at his watch for about the tenth time since they had sat down an hour ago. Elijah, taking notice of at least one thing about Greyson, nudged him toward the kitchen.

“Alright, Chef, thanks for your input,” Elijah said, then regarded the winemakers. “He has a big night tonight. Back to the grind, right, Chef?”

“Yeah,” Greyson said, pushing back from his seat. “Thangks, guys. Great wine. Hopefully we can make sombething work out.”

The winemakers smiled back at him easily; the woman of the couple held her glass up as if to toast Greyson. “Cheers, Chef. Hope you’re feeling better soon.”

Greyson colored, and Elijah whipped towards the chef, confused, but neither of them seemed to dissuade the woman’s partner from tacking on his own sympathies. “That sounds like one hell of a cold.”

Greyson meant to deny their accusation, or at least thank them for their kindness, but was rudely interrupted by his nose. “I – HNGSTHH-uhhnn. GTSHH! HehhITSZCHUE! Snrf.” Greyson coughed a little, if only to clear his throat, and shrugged sheepishly.

“Safe travels back,” he said in return, and headed back towards the kitchen.

Once inside, Greyson ducked into his and Elijah’s office and slammed the door shut. He’d done his damnedest to keep his symptoms under control around their guests, but now the floodgates had opened he really fucking needed to – to…

“HNGSTHH-ue! HTSZCH-ue! Huhh...nggg. Huh, huhhhHHHHUHESTZCCHUE! ETSHCCHUE! GTSCHZUE! Fuckigg – HTSHHCHUE!”

Greyson pulled a few tissues out of the box on their desk and blew his nose, thoroughly spent. This is hell, he thought, putting his head in his hands. I’ve died and gone straight to fucking hell.

He considered maybe just crawling under the desk right then and there, cocooning until he was no longer the walking plague, when someone quietly rapped on the door.

Go away, Greyson thought, but whoever it was opened the door before he could say anything. When he looked up, Elijah was standing over him, a look of confused worry on his face.

“Um,” he said, stepping into the office and closing the door behind him. “Are you...ok?”

Greyson felt his face flame once again, his embarrassment near-palpable. Was he okay? Did he look okay? Did he sound okay? For the first time all day, Greyson felt something other than the depth of his illness; he felt livid.

“Yeah, boss,” he snorted, making himself cough hard into his arm. He sucked in through his nose and stood to tower over Elijah, his watering eyes glaring daggers. “I’mb great.”

Greyson pushed past his boss, threw open the door, and headed straight into the deep frezzer to take some breaths and collect himself. The frigid air was a slap in the face, and it gave him the clarity he needed. He may not even be a blip on his boss’s radar; that was fine. He would work even harder, then – make his name even quicker and get the hell out of Elliot’s as soon as was humanly possible. Get the fuck away from this restaurant and its haughty, clueless, thoughtless owner.

The chef pulled himself together as much as he could and stepped out of the freezer. Elijah was, of course, standing right outside the walk-in.

“Chef,” he said quickly, clearly attempting to get his point across before Greyson pushed past him again. “You could’ve told me if you’re sick – I mean, I could’ve called in backup, or closed reservations…” he looked up at Greyson then, apology plastered all over his face. Greyson wasn’t taking the bait.

“Too late ndow,” he mumbled, checking his watch. “Service starts in an hour. Please; I dond’t have timbe for this.”

Once again, Greyson pushed past his boss. He made his way back to the prep table and picked his knife up, before regarding Matt.

“Tell mbe what you ndeed from mbe.”

***

Service was, to put it lightly, hell.

The forty top had gone fine, as well as could’ve been expected, and fortunately there weren’t any problems or send-backs, but Greyson was in absolute agony the entire time. He couldn’t breathe, his voice was mangled from shouting orders, and he was pretty sure he’d infected his entire staff with the insane amount of sneezing he’d done.

The moment the last ticket was stabbed, Greyson put a hand on Matt’s back and said, “You’re up. I ndeed to sit down like...now.”

Matt nodded in understanding and stepped up to the line to make sure the cooks started breaking everything down. Greyson, alternatively, tripped into the office and immediately put his throbbing head into his hands and let loose the coughing fit he’d held back the last four hours.

In the midst of coughing, Greyson heard someone quietly enter the office and sit in the chair next to him. Then he heard something else; a paper cup being placed on the desk next to him. Greyson looked up to see Elijah sitting beside him, quiet. Greyson sighed.

“I’ll pack mby shidt,” he said, rubbing an aching eye with his palm. “I’mb sure you already have sombeone lined up, but I’d be happy to spend a day just showing themb the ropes or whatev -”

Greyson was cut up by his boss reaching up mid-sentence and placing a cool hand on his forehead. Greyson couldn’t help it; he closed his eyes in relief.

“You’re burning up, Greyson,” Elijah said quietly. “Have you had a fever all day?”

The chef wasn’t sure what to say. He shrugged. “I guess,” he said quietly, his boss’s hand still on his forehead. Elijah pursed his lips and took his hand away. Unsure what to do with it, he pushed the cup closer to Greyson.

“Tea,” he said, as if it wasn’t obvious. Greyson couldn’t help but huff out a laugh.

“Okay,” he said, taking the cup. They both sat in silence for another moment, which was only broken by Greyson’s breath hitching for the millionth time that day. “Huhh..hhhNGTSHH-ue! Guhhh.” Greyson grabbed the last couple of tissues out of the box and blew his nose, miserably.

“Bless you,” Elijah said, clearly still unsure what else to say.

“Thangks,” Greyson said, crumpling the tissue and looking back at his boss. “So...am I ndot fired then?”

Elijah chuckled and looked up at Greyson again. “You’re not fired.”

“Okay,” Greyson said again.

After another beat, Elijah blurted out, “I’m sorry. Greyson, I’m really, really sorry.”

Greyson wasn’t sure what to say to that. “Umb,” he said, brilliantly. “Okay.”

“Sometimes I’m just, like, in my own world, y’know? The restaurant...it’s all-consuming, man. I’m always fuckin’ worried about it, and it just gets exhausting. I wish I had more patience and was, like, more...observant. But,” he shrugged. “I’m just...not. So I’m sorry. I’ll try harder.” Elijah sighed, post-speech, and gave Greyson a small smile. “And I’m sorry you’re so fucking sick. You look like hell.”

Greyson set his jaw then, and looked down. He was absolutely not about to let his boss see him tear up, especially not at something so fucking stupid. Instead, he took the cup of tea and sipped it slowly. “I appreciate it, boss,” he whispered. “I’mb, uh… I’mb ndot feeling awesome.” He looked up, having composed himself, and gave Elijah a loopy half-smile. “Long day. Late ndight.”

Elijah smiled back and patted the chef’s knee. “Take the weekend. Okay?”

Greyson swallowed painfully and nodded. “Okay, boss,” he said. “Whatever you say.”

#snz #snzkink #snz kink #snzfic #snz fic #sickfic #coldfic #male cold #original charater #snez #snzblr #snz blog #whiskeyswriting #damn this got sappy as hell #and long lmao #idk the way ive been going i guess ill see you guys with another fic in two days lolllll

72 notes · View notes

fixa-ryeter · 1 year

Text

you know what. thank you to @rovercat ‘s post (sorry for the ping, but i would like to express gratitude) for reminding me of the Mogami Arc essay (slightly loose term) i had written (turns out it was fully written already LMAO) and abandoned because i forgot about it

so here’s the thing in full. apologies for the lack of pictures and the over-abundance of words ,,,

okay.. i know i always throw around the fact that i love the Mogami arc so much and when people ask usually i’m like LMAO BECAUSE ANGST but genuinely? there’s another reason.

there’s just something about being pushed down to rock bottom and being on the brink of becoming what you think is the lowest of the low… and having your perception of morality altered from there.

like listen. Shigeo’s rule of Never Use Powers Against Others is set in soft stone by none other than Arataka Reigen, and it’s reinforced by the alleyway incident with ??? emerging and hurting Ritsu in the process. up until this point his entire theory of how to be a good person like Reigen told him to a few years ago is… do not use your powers. the only exception he’s made is for his brother and it was a pretty reasonable,,, yk,,, his brother got beat up and kidnapped,,, like i would excuse myself for that too.

but enter Keiji Mogami who Challenges that rule. Shigeo has been able to adhere to that rule in his reality because he’s surrounded by good people who will support and defend him, so he has no reason to do it himself with his powers… now Mogami’s world treats him to a whole 180° where he doesn’t have powers, but practically every single person there is such a goddamn piece of fucking shit toward him that he starts wishing he had the power to defend himself. to fight back. to teach them a lesson, even. and when Mogami grants him that power after 6 months of hell… like come on. he’s fourteen. of course he’s going to get influenced. and he did—he had already made the decision to hurt Asagiri.

「僕があんたらに何をしたっていうんだ？さっぱりわからない。でもわからなくていい…どうでもいい…」

“What have I ever done to you? I don’t understand at all. But it’s okay if I don’t understand. It doesn’t matter…”

yeah i don’t know about you but to me that definitely sounds like a kid ready to succumb to using power

but then comes Dimple, who snaps him out of it, and he never truly lays a finger on Asagiri… but he’d already made the decision that it would be okay to do that, before Dimple stepped in. Shigeo has already lost to Mogami…

not really.

Mogami thinks the world is abhorrent. he’s had his own spoonfuls of poison that give him this view: the world is full of malicious humans who do bad and get away with it, so why not punish them? they are the people who should suffer the negative consequences, and it’s not wrong to wield your power to give them those consequences. they deserve it. it’s necessary, essential to punish wrongdoers. he wants Shigeo, one of the most powerful espers in the series, to empathise with his view. and he does. Mogami influences Shigeo to hurt someone. But it’s Dimple that influences him not to carry through with it, and here’s what i really want to expand upon.

influence is a powerful thing, but it’s not about winning or losing to influence; to me, this arc is (at least partially) about what influences you. what shapes you to be the person you are? what experiences lead you to bad deeds? what events lead you to good actions?

Mogami and Shigeo have both touched on this; it’s partially up to luck to decide whether you’re surrounded with good or bad people, and whether you grow up with good or bad influences… and those will shape you as a person. you don’t put all the blame on a person for their actions, because there’s another question to ask after ‘are their actions good or bad?’—‘why do they do this?’

reality is chock full of these examples, big or small. as a child who had great expectations (Dickens!) put on him, i grew up to be a person conscious of my achievements and how others perceive me; many of my actions have the purpose of keeping up an impression i want to withhold of myself.

but let’s shrink back from reality to anime—Teruki Hanazawa, a boy unlucky enough to have absent parents who don’t give him the love he needs, abusing his powers for a perfect world where he is acknowledged, praised, worshipped. Katsuya Serizawa, a man unlucky enough to be given powers he doesn’t know how to control, shutting himself in his room until he is manipulated by Toichirou Suzuki and dragged out of his room to become a terrorist. Fuck it—Yusuke Sakurai, who never experienced the good of society as a young child, feeling the need to put himself in an organisation who claims to be above society, to take over the world because to absolute hell with a society who’s never treated him well. They’ve all got their backstories, the things that shaped them into what they became in their futures. And each of them were also influenced by others to become better versions of themselves: Teruki and Serizawa by Shigeo, and Sakurai by Reigen.

it’s easy to put the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ labels on people, but i think that the Mogami Arc is against doing this so simply. the ability to empathise with one’s environment and experiences is the most important thing here. it’s what Shigeo learns from how he has been influenced by the people around him, but ultimately, Mogami, someone who had managed to make him a ‘bad person’ who was willing to hurt, even if only for a short while. it’s also why i think that the Mogami Arc is integral to how the World Domination Arc played out—Shigeo empathises with Toichirou. he offers to be someone to talk to, and up until 100% Resignation, attempts again and again to make Toichirou see that there is a way out of the lonely world both of them have seen and lived in, to make Toichirou willing to turn over a new leaf. and even after that, how he tries to absorb Toichirou’s energy to let him have a chance at apologising to his family, to become a better person by righting his wrongs… how to use his empathy is something that Shigeo learns from this arc, i think.

the Mogami Arc is also a testimony to Shigeo’s kindness.

「まだ最低な浅桐さんを助けてないんだから。」

“I’ve yet to save that horrible Asagiri-san.”

she’s been a horrendous character to him. Shigeo knows this full well, and yet he still tries his fucking hardest to save her. when he’s met with a vile personality like Toichirou’s, he displays remarkable insistence of trying to talk to him, to empathise with the world he lives in, no matter how much Toichirou hurts him in spite of his kind intentions. (if only he could grant himself this kindness earlier.)

like, shit. the world sure can be horrible. but the bitterness that Mogami carries doesn’t fix shit; it’s Shigeo’s faith in the power of influence and relationships between people that does. by being a kind person, he’s able to influence others to change, at least a little, for the better. Asagiri and Toichirou are good examples of this. it’s also neat fucking proof that people rely on each other, because influence comes from each other!!

so in short: i fucking adore the Mogami arc because of how it explores empathy and kindness, and ties them together. how Shigeo can change others with his kindness, and how we learn that we’re capable of changing others for the better, so why not try do to that?

#mob psycho 100 #mogami arc #mogami keiji #kageyama shigeo #mp100 analysis #mp100 #did you know i love the mogami arc with all my heart #mp100 meta

54 notes · View notes

masonscig · 1 year

Note

can i ask why people in the fandom seem to really dislike mishka? (censoring her name and such) this is not meant in an offensive way to you or to anyone else, i’m just new here and kind of confused. like did she do something legitimately wrong or are people just irked by the writing of the new book? hope you have a great day <3

OH yeah sorry i can definitely see how that's confusing to new people LMAO

so, it's a bit of both imo – i've been here since 2020, shortly after book 2 dropped, so my perspective is a lot different than newer fans

so, one of the reasons i censor her name, is because tumblr changed the search functions – used to be, when you looked up something, it was only things that were in that exact word order in a tag – so if you spelled t/w/c wrong in some way, it'd only show up results that were misspelled, if that makes sense

but now, it's like if you look up any word, random posts that mention it anywhere in the post will show up too – and i would rather not open myself up to the m*shka bootlickers bc i just do not have time for that LMFAO

i rarely maintag things these days because i just don't want to be perceived by so much of this fandom, but that's just a me thing

also, in terms of what she did "wrong"... on top of problematic stuff in text, there's a few things i can think of off the top of my head:

encouraging white/washed art by reblogging on to her dev blog while knowingly having the official skintone palette locked behind a paywall (patreon)

when called out for the above, they did vet their pieces i guess – by only reblogging black and white pieces, and art of detectives. then they stopped reblogging art completely

posting a white hand for a morgan instagram edit – and taking hours to delete the harassment in the replies, some of which being actually racist comments with slurs pointed at black people

in a q&a video, referred to m as an "attack dog", which was super insensitive, considering the consistent comparison of m to an animal across all platforms (text, tumblr posts, patreon content)

her treatment of f over the years, both in text and outside of it. her asks were a huge reason that the fandom has an infantilized view of f and they don't even consider them to be a love interest (much less one that gets physically intimate). they see them as a child. this bullet point is a massive one that would take too long to explain. i could probably write an essay on how problematic it is to immediately "other" your singular black character by literally making them an otherworldly alien, but i do not have the time

how she writes nb/trans characters. from what my friends have said who code dive, they get the same dialogue and variants that women do. obviously if you don't code dive or play with nb characters you probably wouldn't notice, but there are a good chunk of people in the fandom who play with nb oc's so... this is something that should be better, but it's not

to add to the above, she said she was getting sensitivity readers but... did they do anything? look at book 3 and tell me if they actually did anything (i have a feeling maybe those sensitivity readers were white queer people)

overall, it's very hard to explain and condense the fuckery my mutuals and i have seen both m*shka do over the years, and what her fans have let slide/incidents they've coddled her up during.

sadly, she doesn't take hard stances on things. she just lets things happen and that just. doesn't bode well if your argument for all these mistakes is "ignorance". if she's getting 10k a month on patreon plus sales (not to mention the fact she's a grown ass woman), then... it's the bare minimum to ask for her to be mindful of her audience and to do better.

and also book 3 sucks xoxo

#the last line was a joke btw i just thought it'd be funny LMAO #TY FOR THE ASK I HOPE U HAVE A GREAT DAY TOO <3 #i know i have other asks to get to but i jumped at this one bc i should probably clarify this for anyone following me LMAO #but yeah all in all it feels like the fandom is back at square one bc of rampant whitewashing #no im not tagging this as fandom critical this is m*shka critical #also i'm not linking receipts or anything bc it's exhausting – ask anyone and they can tell u im not lying #IF THERE'S ANYTHING ELSE I MISSED SOUND OFF IN THE COMMENTS HATERS <3333333 #asks

29 notes · View notes

loonamblr · 2 years

Text

Sunsets and Secrets: Wine

LOONA Kim Lip x reader

taste like a wine

author’s note: Sorry that this story took a while to post. This is much longer than the part 1. I hope you guys will love this also. Thank you everyone for reading my works. I also want to thank my friend who helps and keeps me sane during the time I’m working this lmao. please send me feedbacks i want to know your thoughts about the story :) Stay safe everyone!!

warnings: mentions of alcohols

Part One

It's Monday again. The exam will still begin on Wednesday of the particular week, giving the pupils two days to study.

Since you are an exchange student, your routine for this week differs from regular students. And your only schedule for the day is in the afternoon.

You just got out of your bathroom after taking a shower and planning to make some breakfast when you received a text message. The message was from your cousin, Jinsoul, informing you that she is in front of your apartment.

Ever since you were a child, you've been close with Jinsoul. Both of you are constantly in one other's homes, having a blast every day. She even cried so loud when she found out that you'll migrate. Nevertheless, your closeness was not hindered by your distance from one another.

So, seeing your cousin after a long time gives you a mixed feeling. For sure, you are delighted to see her and excited to have a bond together. But you're feeling guilty at the same time, knowing that you had fallen to Jungeun.

You already accept the fact that Jinsol might get mad once she found out about this.

It's just love. A very natural thing in the world. A thing that you cannot control to whom you will fall. You can't hold yourself responsible because, at the time, you fall for Jungeun you weren't aware that she was the girl that Jinsol likes.

You shrug.

I should forget my worries in the meantime and enjoy her visit today, you said.

A body clashed with yours after opening your door.

You smiled, remembering how clingy Jinsol was.

"What's up!?" you greeted her as you guys hugged tightly.

Patting her head while she's still holding you made you chuckle.

"I miss you so much Y/n!" Jinsol greeted you and giggled.

"I miss you too even though you came to see me last year," you replied grinning at her.

After exchanging one final, close hug, the two of you proceed to the living room to catch up on each other's most recent news.

"How was your stay here? I've heard that you visited our house?" Jinsoul starts the conversation.

"Yeah, I visited them, also our grandparents last month. To be honest, they looked like they haven't aged at all. Grandpa is still funny, he even gave me extra money to spend here." you smiled remembering your visit.

"Did he? that's unfair! he didn't give it to me when I visited them before I left Korea," she whined, "..well at least your mom gave me when I went to your house." she said after remembering it, and laughing.

You shook your head at her thinking how silly your topic was.

"Oh, I was surprised that you volunteer to be the exchange student this year, Jinsol." you shared with her.

Your statement brought Jinsol back to the reason for it.

"Uhmm, I thought...maybe for experience?" she is somewhat unsure, "...to be honest I just want to go somewhere far to think, but I can't since we have school." she continues.

Nodding along, and asked her, "To think about what?"

And there, Jinsoul opens her side to you.

"Do you remember Lippie? the one I told you before." You nod as an answer to the question.

Of course, you know her. You knew her from her stories and from Jungeun itself.

That made your thoughts back to reality. The reality between you and Jungeun that Jinsol isn't probably aware of.

You gazed at your cousin who was starting to stare somewhere biting her lip and looking like she was getting drowned in her thoughts

"Well, I questioned myself...whether I'm worthy of her love or her, in general." You can notice the sadness in her tone.

"I feel like I've been enjoying myself being with her, well she seems to enjoy herself with me too but I can't control myself to have negative thoughts."

"She's been too good for me. So perfect to be with me. Then one night, I was left questioning myself."

"Of course, I didn't tell her about it, even one single thought. She doesn't need to know. I'll just become a burden."

By her actions, you can tell that Jinsol is a little bit anxious because she's been fidgeting her fingers.

She cleared her throat and continues her story, "Then suddenly I want to be away here. I want to leave, but as I said, I can't because we are seniors. So, I think my only chance to be away is to accept the program."

You now understand why she suddenly called you to inform you that she accepted a program and will be an exchange student at your school.

"How ironic, I left to think if I am worthy for her, but by leaving her, I just prove that we don't deserve each other. I also left my friends, and I am aware that they were mad at me." she then bitterly chuckled and scratch her temple.

Jinsol laid back on your couch while you still silently observing her.

A moment of silence.

Your gaze met, then she asked, "Have you met them?"

"Uhh yeah...I met them on my first day. It's Yves whom I met first." you shared with her.

"How are they doing?"

"They've been doing well? I guess. They are very saddened by your sudden leaving, especially Jungeun." She nods at this information.

Jinsol is mentally cursing herself and regretting her actions.

"How are you and Jungeung by the way?" you asked since you cannot control yourself being curious.

"We talked last Saturday, and we are cool now. I'm so grateful that she's very understanding." Jinsol smiled a little but still felt guilty, "I wish I were still the one she loves when I came back, but if not, then I'll just move on to make up for my actions. I'm prepared if Jungeun was already moved on."

"She also told me stories about you," Jinsol added which made you slightly nervous. "She told me that you've been taking care of her very much." she looked at you beaming.

"Oh yeah.." you muttered wondering if she told her more than that.

"I think she doesn't know that we're related." you nodded to her agreeing.

"Yeah, It's only Yves who knows it."

"I see," Jinsol muttered and asked another question. Both of you kept catching up on other news. Jinsol is primarily talking about her experience staying in your country.

Soon after, you both decided to enjoy your lunch outside before heading to school.

Jinsol mentioned that she might accompany you to visit her friends and the school.

Jungeun was left bothered after that night. Her friends, particularly Jiwoo, have observed that she hasn't been her typical self on Monday morning. She has been noticing that her best friend's mind continues to drift off because Jungeun had been reading the same page for about thirty minutes.

Jiwoo told Yves about this and the latter shrugged at her and said, "Let's wait for lunch to ask her about it." Jiwoo nodded still worrying about Jungeun.

They know this was not about Jinsol's return because Jungeun told them that she and Jinsol were already on good terms. However, Sooyoung speculates that this might be about you. She never heard a single piece of news about you since last Saturday.

Lunch break comes, and their circle of friends is eating their meal in the cafeteria. Most of them talk about the coverage of topics for their exams and the things they didn't understand.

On the other hand, Jungeun is being quiet ever since. She will sometimes answer their questions absentmindedly while thinking about something else.

They were concerned since Jungeun had never been so silent. She was still able to connect some of the talks during the time Jinsol left. Her thoughts do occasionally drift, but not all day long, not like this.

Jungeun's phone vibrated in her pocket which made her excuse herself to answer the call.

"Hey Jinsol.." she said in a low tone.

"Hi, Lippie!...Uhm are you with others? Can I join you?" Jinsol asked slightly nervously.

Though she has sent them a message letting them know she was back, Jinsol is still hesitant if meeting them is okay. To her surprise, most of them replied with loving messages, except for Sooyoung who left her message on read.

"wait let me ask them." Jungeun went back to their table and asked the others.

"Guys, Jinsol is asking if it's okay if she joins us today?" she smiled slightly.

The three nodded very instantly. Haseul agrees, saying, "Of course, why not? Also, she owes us an explanation."

"It's fine, Lippie. Where is she by the way? Tell her that we miss her!" Jiwoo said asking for the latter. On the other side, Yves is still upset with Jinsol, but she is aware of how much she also wants to see her.

"Maybe she's on the school grounds." her best friend answered her before putting the phone on her ear, "They said you can come, Sol." there's a hint of excitement laid on her tone.

Jinsol's concern was replaced with enthusiasm and wanting to see them, "Okay! I'll be there. See you!"

"Okay, take care," Jungeun muttered as she end the call.

Jiwoo noticed that the other girl was once more lost in her thoughts. She was about to ask Jungeun but was interrupted by Jinsol's arrival.

"U-uh hi?" Jinsol greeted them hesitantly.

Jinsol is very nervous to meet them again. She knows that she needs to explain a lot of things, starting from her sudden disappearance.

Haseul was surprised a little bit but hugs Jinsol immediately.

The girl was very understanding to them ever since. She has the feel of a mother who you can rely on completely.

Vivi hugs her next, then Jiwoo. Sooyoung only gave her a fist bump and a nod.

She receives a tight hug from Jungeun as well and smiled at each other. But Jungeun's smile did not reach her eyes.

"Have you already eaten?" Vivi questioned Jinsol as she sat next to Jungeun.

"Yeah, I already had lunch with Y/n", she said, drawing the attention of her pals. In particular, Jungeun. It was like the first time she heard your name again, except that she was wondering whether you and Jinsol knew one another.

However, Sooyoung was not surprised by this. She continued finishing her food and didn't bother to look at Jinsol.

"Do you know Y/n?" Jiwoo gazed at her confused.

"Of course, Ohh...I forgot she didn't tell you that we're cousins." This statement of hers was enough to leave their mouth agape.

Jiwoo, who was stunned, is covering her mouth with her hands. While her best friend, Jungeun, is only staring at Jinsol who is now busy explaining things to the others.

Jungeun can't understand why her feelings are lost when the girl she's staring at is the one she believes the answer to.

This should elevate her mood.

Jinsol is back. She should be celebrating.

Her heart should swell with nothing but pure happiness.

But no.

The joy she was feeling today was not enough to elevate her mood.

She's dishearted.

The adage "people come and people go" is fully relevant. But is that necessary?

Her mind begins to stray yet again toward what happened the night before.

She didn't reply to you after she got your response because she felt disappointed.

Disappointed of what?

Disappointed that you didn't tell her sooner that you're leaving? or because it'll be the last time she'll be watching the sunset with you?

Maybe because you let go of her that easily?

She has no idea. She doesn't even understand why she is feeling this way.

However, the most important thing is that she has the idea why you let go of her so quickly.

Jungeun wants to see you so badly, and talk.

She is interested in your thoughts. But you are busy right now so she cannot bother you.

Jungeun's mind is at its breaking point. She's getting a headache from it. That's why she excused herself to go to the infirmary.

"Do you want me to take you there?" Jinsol offered being concerned by the latter.

"No, It's okay, I can go by myself," Jungeun muttered and stood up from her seat.

Yves also stood up and excused herself too, "I forgot something in the classroom and I have to get it." Jiwoo insists on going with her but Yves just answers her with assuring smile, "It's fine, It'll be quick."

Yves and Jungeun made their way out of the cafeteria. When they came out of it, they were meant to go the opposite way, but Sooyoung kept following Jungeun.

"You're supposed to go the other way, right?" She stopped from her walk and asked very confusedly.

"Right. But, I just wanted to talk with you." Sooyoung answered her with a small smile.

Jungeun doesn't have the energy to interact with people right now, but Sooyoung looks determined to have a conversation with her today.

Both of them continue heading to the school's infirmary.

"What is it about?" being weary is apparent in her voice.

Yves shared with her, "You look so bothered ever since morning, Jungeun. You keep spacing out and the others are very worried about you."

"Is there something I can help you with?" she continued.

"It's because my head hurts", Jungeun tried to say, dodging Yves' glares. which is true, but it's not primarily the cause of her odd behavior today.

They both reached and entered the infirmary. Sooyoung waits for Jungeun while the latter gets some meds from their school's nurse. She is silently observing Jungeun's behavior since morning. And she's not buying her excuse.

Well, maybe it is true but Sooyoung's guts were telling her that there is something else. The girl was looking very deep into her thoughts ever since morning. She keeps on spacing out which is very unusual for her.

Sooyoung by her side, Jungeun was returning to the cafeteria after receiving her medication. She has been hesitating about whether to tell Yves about what's going on in her mind.

With a gentle tug on Jungeun's arm, Yves stated, "Jungeun, that's not the way to the cafeteria. You are spacing out once more."

The said girl stopped in her tracks and answered her with, "Can we talk in the garden?".

Yves was baffled but agreed.

Reaching their destination, the two sat on the bench under the shade of the tree.

"So...what keeps bothering you, Jungeun?" Yves asked the moment they both sat.

"I-It's about Y/n," Jungeun gulped the lump in her throat. She doesn't know why it feels heavy saying your name.

Sooyoung's gaze never left the latter. Jungeun is nervous and somewhat shy. Keeping her head down playing with her fingertips.

"What about her?" Sooyoung tried to have eye contact with her.

"She told me that she's departing after this week, and..." Jungeun said, pausing to consider whether it was appropriate to disclose this information. However, Sharing this is significant because it was the cause of her excessive worrying, after all.

"And?" the other girl whispered.

"She confessed her feelings to me yesterday", Jungeun adds, turning to face Sooyoung, who's trying to suppress her sly smile.

I'm glad she took my advice, Yves whispered in her head.

"She also stated that even though she loves me, she must let me go, now that Jinsol is back. Y/n wants me and Jinsol to be happier together."

This information made Sooyoung lose her smile. She remembered that you and Jinsol are cousins that's why you chose to let Jungeun go to be with Jinsol.

"So this is why you seemed so lifeless all day long?" Sooyoung asked her which Jungeun answered with a slight nod.

The latter continues to lend her thoughts to Sooyoung. "I don't understand. Jinsol's return should make me feel very delighted because that was my only wish. But I can't at this time. I'm more worried about losing Y/n,"

"Last night, I wondered whether Y/n would ever pursue me if she didn't return because I assumed that's the reason why she let go of me so easily."

"Jungeun, Let me ask, what do you truly feel when you're with Y/n?"

"I am eased. I feel that I should put all other concerns aside when we are together and just enjoy being with each other. She made me experience somebody's genuine care and contempt." Sooyoung can see the honesty in Jungeun's eyes.

"I worry that I will once again lose my comfort. I had become accustomed to her presence. Even though we had just recently met, I feel like she quickly grew to be an important part of my life."

Hearing these words from Jungeun made Sooyoung realize things that the latter hasn't yet. She smirks at Jungeun who's looking at the trees with empty stares.

"I get that she already made up her mind to let me go when she confesses her feelings to me. But it made me feel disappointed."

"Jungeun, Do you like Y/n?" Yves's question made Jungeun look at her slightly taken aback. She didn't notice the cheeky smile on Yves' face.

"N-no?...I-i don't know."

Jungeun never gave it a second consideration. Her thoughts are too muddled to consider it. Or perhaps she is too focused on the idea that she only likes Jinsol.

However, Sooyoung's point illuminates her gloomy thoughts.

"So do you still like Jinsol?" Sooyoung asked her once again.

It caused her to pause for a second before responding, "Y-yes? I-I believe," with a very uncertain tone in her voice. As realizations dawn on her, she begins to question her feelings for Jinsol.

Sooyoung facepalmed and say, "Jungeun, consider it more thoroughly. I am aware that a lot is going on in your head, but you must think about how you feel about Y/n to realize and manage your intrusive thoughts," she pauses to look at Jungeun straight in the eye, "You'll never doubt your feelings for Jinsol if you're truly in love with her."

"Y/n's confession and choices won't ever be a significant worry that leads you to overthink if you're in love with Jinsol. If your only desire with her is as a friend, then you won't ever be disappointed and wouldn't think about other what-ifs. also remember that we still have exams on Wednesday, in case you forgot."

"Okay." The other girl answered her with a monotone voice.

Shit, I almost forgot about the exams. Thankfully I already reviewed some last week.

Jungeun said to herself.

The only Jungeun wants right now is to go home where she can think about things peacefully.

Yves's words were right. She should not be thinking too much if she only wants Y/n as a friend.

To be true to herself, Jungeun was grateful for Jinsol's return. She was excited to see and to be with her again. That's why she didn't understand this sudden change in her emotions.

But is it truly happened suddenly? What if she simply managed to miss the shift in her feelings?

Soon after, they headed back to the cafeteria. Jungeun appears to be more okay after their talk in the garden. She mentally thanked Sooyoung for listening and giving her advice. Yves enters the cafeteria first so their friends will think that they did not come together.

Haseul and the others decided to have a study hang-out later after dismissal to prepare more for the upcoming exams, and Jinsol decided to also tag along. This has been their routine since before. They will always study in Haseul's room and tutor each other.

They did not forget to invite you to join them later, but because you already have plans, you politely rejected them. Well, you kinda avoiding Jungeun too, so.

On Tuesday, the school announced that the classes will only be half day because teachers have meetings and so students can prepare for their midterm exams tomorrow.

Jungeun messaged you if it was possible to meet you but she only received, "I can't. I still have a ton of work to do. Let's talk when the exams are over. Good luck!".

She has no other choice than to study and prepare more for the exams. While she was putting out her notes on the table, her phone flashed up and shows a message from Jinsol.

"Jungeun, can I come over? Let me help you review for the exams just like before :)"

Jungeun responded, feeling more motivated to review than before, "Sure, take care."

This was their routine before every exam. In particular, in calculus, Jinsol tutors Jungeun on the topics she struggles with. She imparts to Jungeun some techniques that will make it simpler for her to answer and assess the problem. For Jungeun, she was a big help because she understood the lesson much better than her teacher's discussion.

Soon later, Jungeun's mother notified her and let her know that Jinsol had come. To begin tutoring her, she invited Jinsol to come to her room.

"What subject are you having trouble with? "Jinsol enquired as Jungeun was lending her trigonometry notebook and notes.

"This," Jungeun answered her.

The girl who likes math starts to analyze the problem on Jungeun's notes and tried to solve it on the other sheet of paper before proceeding with teaching the latter.

The two have gone through this cycle. Before teaching Jungeun how to answer the problem correctly, Jinsol will attempt to solve it herself. Then, Jinsol will assess Jungeun's understanding of the subject after giving the other girl a practice exercise.

Jungeun is having a hard time comprehending the topic's content making her completely get rid of her other problems.

Their study session was interrupted when Jungeun's mother knocked on her door to deliver some food. Jinsol and Jungeun moved away the items that were on the table to make room for the food that her mom brought to them, so they could start getting ready and eating the food.

Jinsol was very happy right now. Every small memory that they shared before, she wants to do it again. She longs to be back with Jungeun. She sincerely hopes that Jungeun would still hold a special place in her heart for her.

But, Jinsol is certain that something has changed, though. Even though they have only been together for a few days, she already feels it deeply and in many ways. Jungeun is the kind of girl who enjoys showering love on others. She likes expressing her emotions through physical touches. Because of this, Jinsol was a little disappointed when she returned, and Jungeun was not as clingy as she had been. They were used to constantly holding each other's hands.

It would be unreasonable for her to demand an instant favor, considering that it was her fault for the changes she was experiencing.

Jinsol already acknowledged that Jungeun might no longer be in love with her, just as she told you. Naturally, it causes her heart to hurt terribly. She does love Jungeun, but she made a mistake. Her behavior clearly shows that she is undeserving of her. Her unwise choice ultimately caused her heartache.

Jinsol broke the silence and calls the latter, "Jungeun..."

"Mhmm?" Jungeun stopped eating her food and looked at Jinsol.

"Is there someone else?" She murmured, slightly scared of what Jungeun's answer would be.

The other girl gave her a questionable look since she didn't hear it clearly, "What?"

"Is there already someone else in your heart?" Jinsol said louder than her voice earlier, before looking her directly in the eyes.

Jinsol's glares towards her were averted by Jungeun. She didn't say a word for the entire minute. She does not know how to answer because she is still not sure. She is still unsure about her feelings. Jinsol is still focusing on Jungeun, who is inadvertently fiddling with her food.

She doesn't need the answer to her question. Based on how Jungeun acts, Jinsol already has it.

"You don't need to answer... U-uhh We should eat so we can continue the review." She grinned bitterly to the latter, who was still avoiding her stares. Jungeun nodded silently and proceeds on finishing her food.

Upon completing all the food that her mother had prepared for them, they did resume the review. After that rather awkward incident, nobody dares to speak again unless it's about the exam.

Jungeun's brain began to hurt from the amounts of information she had taken in after studying for nearly the whole day. She started to complain to Jinsol that she couldn't take it anymore but the other girl only laughed at her.

They organized all of her notes that were scattered across the table. Jungeun collapsed onto her bed after having an extremely exhausting day. She seems like she'll pass off quickly.

Jinsol, on the other hand, is observing her actions in silence with a small smile on her face. It's still too early in the afternoon to call it a day, so she starts to remember some of the activities they used to do.

"Lippie, Do you want to go out?" she suggests then caused the latter to open her eyelids.

Jungeun said, "Where are we going?". The pillow muffles her voice.

"Maybe, in the Hangang River? That was our usual spot." After remembering those moments, Jinsol responded with a faint smile.

Initially hesitant, Jungeun eventually accepted.

She wants to go back there to realize things, and finally have answers to her dilemma.

Aside from that, It was what she had previously hoped for, to visit that park once more with Jinsol.

She misses spending time in that park with the person who first made it special. She used to come here just to witness the sunrise with Jinsol enjoying the ambiance of the park in the early morning. They will have their breakfast picnic while watching the sun begin to rise and reveal its warm colors, which will soon fill the entire sky for the rest of the day.

At certain times, there aren't many people in the park. Most of them were older people strolling their dogs or getting their daily exercise.

Returning to the present, the travel to the park was quite enjoyable. As it always was, jokes and laughing could be heard throughout Jinsol's car. They looked back on their past experiences at this park.

When they arrived at Hangang Park, there appeared to be an event because numerous stalls had been set up in a particular part of the park. They both decided to look through each one to see if there was anything they could buy.

After checking, Jungeun said that they should rent a bike already. She's been looking forward to it since earlier. Jinsol chuckled at her and grabbed Jungeun's hand and they began to start walking towards the rent station.

Jungeun remembered how she loved holding Jinsol's hand every time. They used to stroll this park hand in hand. No one is willing to remove each other's palms. This small gesture was enough to make her feel secure during those times.

That afternoon they spend all of the time enjoying each other's presence after longing for so much. They both agreed that they should do the activities they used to do in the park before.

She is beginning to sense that this park has become a significant part of her life. She had many memories of events that had taken place here. Regardless matter whether it's in the morning or the afternoon, it has wonderful memories that she will cherish forever.

Looking at the sunset holding their ice cream in cups, Jinsol and Jungeun sat on a bench in front of the river when the tiredness starts to kick in from strolling.

As the sun began to sets, the magnificent rosy color is spreading across the whole calm sky. Jungeun suddenly remembers you. Unknowingly her mind leads her to the memory of that day.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Jungeun was brought back to reality when Jinsol asked her.

She looked at the other girl who was grinning at her, "Just remember someone," she whispered.

"What made you remember them?" Jinsol replied then took a bite of her ice cream.

"The sunset." the latter answered slightly shaking her head. Jungeun puts her attention on her dessert before it melts.

Jinsol hummed briefly looked at her and then to the sky.

"She loves sunsets," Jungeun starts to reminisce about every moment she was with you, "and I'm starting to love it too." she continues her statement by looking at the bright pink sky.

Jinsol noticed how Jungeun's lips turns upward. This is like the first time of the day she saw the other girl smile genuinely. She has been noticing since lunch that Jungeun is slightly distracted. Don't get her wrong, but the way she smiles right now is very different than earlier.

Jinsol got intrigued by this so she asks, "tell me more about her."

"Hmm, she's wonderful. A wonderful companion and buddy. She took good care of me, and I was deeply grateful for that." the other girl stated.

They were still eating their ice cream but Jinsol can taste the bitterness on her tongue.

Getting lost in the beautiful scenery that the sunset gives to her, Jungeun begins to describe the aspects of you that she finds interesting. She was completely unaware of Jinsol's stares or the other noises coming from the busy park.

"We prefer different things, so I didn't even assume that we would get along. However, she disregards her preferences so I can choose what I enjoy." Jungeun giggles when she remembers that you hate sweet foods but still buy them for her.

"She became my comfort when I was longing for your presence. And, it made me feel a different type of warmth deep in my chest every time I'm with her."

Jinsol smiled bitterly as she hears those words from the person she dearly loves.

It looks like I have my answer to my question earlier.

"She's also selfless." A deep sigh left Jungeun's lips remembering your message.

"How can you say that she is?" Jungeun turns to look at Jinsol.

Because she chooses to let me go to be with you.

She wants to say it to Jinsol, but it's not right to say it to her.

Jinsol doesn't know anything.

Instead, she answers with, "Because she's been unselfish with me."

Jinsol couldn't do anything than nod her head and absorb all of the words that Jungeun says.

"I want to return all of the good things she has done for me." Jungeun continued.

And I badly want to be with her side forever.

Like a strike of lightning, her unexpected insight provides the answer to her dilemma.

A long silence falls between the two of them.

They both didn't notice how the sky erased the trace of the magnificent sunset and replaced it with a dim shade of gray.

"I think we should go home. It's getting colder." Jinsol suggests and gave the latter a half-smile. She got up from her seat and slightly remove the dirt off her pants.

Jungeun doesn't understand what Jinsol said. She just nodded with an absent mind and followed her.

To Jungeun, everything fell silent. All that can be heard in her head is the noise of her thoughts.

I like her

She is now certain of what she says to herself. These three words are constantly repeating inside her mind.

Your love is like wine for Jungeun.

A wine that gave her a bittersweet taste that she's afraid to spit out yet finds too good to swallow.

The taste that she knows; she will look for, the moment it's gone.

And she's willing to take the risks to relive the experience.

Being drowned in her thoughts, Jungeun didn't notice that they already reached their house. Jinsol opened the door for her which made her back to reality.

Jinsol was patiently waiting for her as she got off the car and closes its door, "Goodbye, Lippie. Thank you for spending some time with me again. I missed it so much."

"Thank you too. I needed that tutor and the hang-out in the park. It helps me a lot." Jungeun answered her and smiled back.

Jinsol nods and gave her a faint smile, "You should go inside."

Jungeun's stares focus on the ground and she slightly nibbles the inside of her pocket.

"Uhm, Jinsol?" the shaky whisper left her lips.

"yes?" The said girl answered her.

She knows she's certain about this, but she was unclear about Jinsol's reaction, "I'm sorry, but I like someone else already. She is leaving, so I don't want to miss what may be my final chance.", she said giving an apologetic look at her.

To her surprise, Jinsol just chuckles and pinch her cheeks. "It's fine, Lippie. She's the one you're talking about earlier, right?" heck, Jinsol knows to herself that it was a fake chuckle.

"Yes," Jungeun murmured.

Jinsol stares at the stars in the stars when she felt her tears starting to build up. She expected this to happen. But she didn't know how hurt this could be, even though she was ready. Her awareness of who she had fallen made the heartache deeper.

She clears her throat and tried to say something without breaking her voice, "You should go inside." She smiled softly and tapped Jungeun's arm.

As Jungeun observed her eyes, they appeared to be slightly glistening. She knew that these were the tears that were going to come.

She just nodded her head and turned around to go inside.

Jungeun felt sorry for Jinsol.

She knows how it hurts because she'd experienced it.

I'm sorry but I know what I feel towards her is real, so I'm taking my chance.

Jungeun muttered to herself, walking towards their door.

The moment Jungeun entered their house, Jinsol felt a tear escape from her eye. She smiled bitterly and sniffs silently, "Why am I crying? I knew that this would happen. It's my fault after all," she said blaming herself.

She took the cuff of her jacket to wipe her tears. Jinsol inhaled deeply and starts to drive back home.

Jinsol reflected on their earlier times spent together. All of their moments seem to be replaying in her head like an old record. Then, a bittersweet feeling overcame her.

It was right, "The joy is in remembering; the pain is in knowing it was yesterday".

she said to herself, alone in her car.

Friday is the most anticipated day of the week. After a grueling three-day exam, everyone is now celebrating its completion. Because the examinations are finally over, Haseul and the others decided to give you a farewell party at Yves' condo. They all want to hang out with you again now that they know you're leaving, as they found out last Wednesday.

In all honesty, Haseul, Vivi, and Jiwoo were pouting over the fact that they were the only ones who were unaware of your early departure. They just know that you're busy because of the upcoming midterms, not because you're also organizing your papers.

Jungeun anticipates this day as well. She was expecting finally see you and talk to you, which made her both anxious and delighted.

Additionally, realizing that she's now sure that she likes you caused her heartbeat to become more erratic. The thought of seeing you again causes her heart to beat rapidly. She misses you badly because, since you arrived in Korea, this seems to be the longest period she has been apart from you.

Yves, Jiwoo, and Jungeun were assigned to buy the drinks, chips, and other snacks. Haseul and Vivi are the ones that will prepare for the venue, and cook some meals. While you and Jinsol both decided to buy boxes of pizza and flavored fried chickens.

When the two of you arrived at Yves' apartment, her living room was already decorated, and Haseul and Vivi were plating the food they had cooked. You set the pizza boxes on the counter and proceed to the living room. On the couch, Jinsol is already grinning while checking something on her phone.

"What are you watching?" you asked curiously.

You saw the smiling girl show you her phone. It was a cute but corny TikTok video.

You muttered to her, "That was corny." teasing her because she is so entertaining to make fun of.

Jinsol gave you a gentle elbow and stated, "You just have no fun." She then continued watching other TikTok videos.

You got up to the kitchen to assist the other two in preparing the food.

Jinsol is still bitter about you since she doesn't sure if you feel the same way about Jungeun. She is aware, however, that she is solely responsible for this. She views you as a sister, thus she is unable to resist you or become upset with you. Despite the pain in her heart, she just wants to be happy for Jungeun no matter what happens.

"Hi, is there something I can help you guys with?" You ask the couple.

"Can you get some plates on the cabinet and wash them?" Vivi asks you with her charming smile.

"Sure." You smiled back and did the task.

While cleaning the dishes and utensils. You could hear the three arrive. As soon as she entered, Jiwoo gave the entire group a cheery greeting. Yves let out giggles because of her girlfriend.

To set the chips and other snacks on the middle table, Yves headed to the living room. She and Jinsol nod at each other in greeting.

The alcoholic beverages and juice were delivered to the kitchen by Jungeun and Jiwoo. Jungeun and you exchanged shy glances for a brief moment. The tinge of crimson red may be seen on Jungeun's face. She wants to hug you right now, but it would be weird.

You muttered a trembling "Hello," unsure of how to approach her following your confession.

Before putting the drinks in the fridge, she uttered a brief "Hi."

Following a brief exchange of greetings, you bring the dishes into the living room so that you can begin eating. You had considered returning to the kitchen to assist Jungeun, but you noticed Jinsol get up and head there instead.

You wonder whether they are already glad to be together once more. After all, you let her go for a reason, among others. A tiny bit of jealousy seeped into your heart.

You felt a nudge on your arm. "What's up?", It was Yves with her gorgeous smile asking

"I'm fine, how about you and the others?" You smiled at her too.

"I'm fine too, I don't know the others." She answered with a sly tone.

When you're going to follow up on her response, Jiwoo cuts you off. She hands a platter to each of you.

"Let's eat!" She said beaming.

Looking around, you've just noticed that the others are holding their plates.

Your dinner was quickly followed by the small party. Everyone was enjoying themselves and was concentrating on playing cards. Wave after wave of laughing, argument, and shouting flooded Yves' apartment. Jiwoo, Jinsol, and Jungeun did most of the shouting as they became engrossed in the UNO game.

Most of the time, you and Vivi are the only ones doing anything but laughing while this chaos unfolds. This scene occurs frequently, regularly. On the other hand, Jungeun constantly steals and looks your way. Because you also continued doing this to her, you always caught her glancing your way.

Even though you're all having fun, your interactions are nonetheless awkward.

This was observed by Yves, but every time she witnessed the two of you acting strangely, she simply grinned and shook her head. Jinsol observed this encounter as well and believes that you and Jungeun have something going on.

After almost 10 rounds of UNO, Haseul thought that it is time to play the drinking game. It was a card game that involves alcoholic drinks. The cards contain dares, questions, and the statement "you drink".

Yves requests your company while she goes to grab the drink. and you replied, "Of course," to her.

As you stood up, you followed the girl in her behind.

Jungeun continued to fixate on you before you left her line of sight. She's already interested in speaking with you, but the timing is awful.

"Go get the tequila. I'll just cut some lemons and get some iodine salt." She commanded you. You nodded your head and proceed on getting the drink.

To grab the tequila, you opened the refrigerator. As well as the cupboard where you find the shot glasses.

When you had everything you needed, you returned to Sooyoung, who was chopping some lemons. The salt was already placed on the saucer when you got beside her.

"You were very awkward with each other," Sooyoung says as you observe her in silence.

She was so sudden, you went, "Huh?"

"Tss, I said, you and Jungeun are awkard." She gave you a quick glimpse before turning back to the lemon.

"W-well...I don't know." You whispered.

Sooyoung just mentally faces palmed before placing the lemon slices on the platter. After placing all of the dirty dishes in the sink, She grabs the plate and saucer,

You took this as a sign to go back to the living room.

Cheers can be heard once more in the living room.

"We don't need to finish the bottle of tequila", Haseul, the group's mother, reminds everyone. "If you start feeling tipsy, it's alright to quit," she says.

After confirming her request, everyone gathered back in a circle around the center table. Vivi shuffles the deck while secretly anticipating who would be the first to get drunk.

Since everyone had a shot before the game began, it appears that the others have plans to become inebriated. Since she still wants to talk to you, Jungeun has decided not to play the game and may instead take only a shot tonight.

However, you chose to enjoy yourself because this will be your final night with them and you have a strong tolerance for alcohol. You also feel the need to drink due to the complicated of your love life.

You all took turns selecting a card from the deck. Jinsol was given the challenge to consume one slice of lemon and chew it for one minute. Based on the card she was chosen, Vivi must take a shot. Jiwoo was given the challenge to stop her mouth till it was her turn once more. The "no shot until your turn" card was also dealt to you.

After about two rounds of playing with the card, everyone decided to quit because they were all starting to feel dizzy. Even though they were already dozing off, they insisted on watching a movie. Only you and Jungeun are still sane. For you, Jiwoo, and her girlfriend to lay down on the carpeted floor, you moved the living room's center table. As you and the others rested, Jungeun went to grab some pillows and blankets for you and the others.

This made your heart flutter with joy.

In the middle of the movie, something on you wants to go out on Yves's balcony. You look at your friends who are soundly sleeping beside you. Gently getting up from laying down, you go out assuming that all of your friends were deep asleep.

Half sleeping, Jungeun awoke to see someone approaching the television. She looked over at her friends who were lying down and saw that you weren't there. The girl immediately rose and turned to search for you. She noticed you leaning against the glass railing.

Jungeun went out to the balcony even though she knows that it was slightly cold.

The sound of the sliding door caught your attention. You felt your heart jumps because of joy and nervousness.

"It's cold you should go inside," You stated to the girl wrapped around a blanket.

"I know but I want to talk with you." Jungeun said tackling herself more to keep warm.

Although you are a little unsure of what she wants to discuss with you, you are aware that you are interested in talking with her as well.

Nodding to her, "So, how are your test results?" you ask opening a topic to talk to.

"It was hard but, yeah, they were all finished." Jungeun answered looking at the city lights.

You haven't seen her for a week now. Without a doubt, you missed her company and admire her inherent beauty. You can tell she was sleepy by looking at her face, but despite this, she is still awake.

To avoid her noticing that you are staring at her, you turn your gaze elsewhere.

Silence falls between the two of you.

On the other hand, Jungeun is very nervous about what she would like to say to you. She can feel the tension building in her chest.

Looking at the cars below you, you can feel that she start to stare at you.

"I like you." she whispered but this is enough for you to understand what she said.

Looking back at her, you chuckle and give a little headshake before saying, "I'm not Jinsol."

Jungeun stated to you with certainty, "I know and I like you for who you are."

A portion of your heart blossoms with hope. You can feel it in the way that your stomach turns over and your heart begins to race. But you don't believe her since you thought she was simply playing with you because she was tired.

"Stop. You're just making me hope that it was true."

"Y/n, I'm not lying. I no longer love her. It was you—the person for whom my heart seeks."

"I'm sorry, It's hard to believe, Jungeun. Is this about my confession—"

Jungeun, cut you off, "It's not about it, Y/n. I genuinely like you. You've been in my mind and dreams. My genuine feelings are for you. I initially believed they were for Jinsol."

You don't know what to reply to her because you can see in her eyes and feel in her voice that these were all real and nothing but pure honesty.

After saying what she wanted to say, Jungeun felt a slight sense of relief.

Your heart has fully blossomed with hope, and joys are now enveloping it. But then, your cousin comes to your mind.

"Does Jinsol knows about this?" you ask. The guilt is starting build-up.

Jungeun answered shortly after, "She knows, but didn't know it was you."

You turned your head aside as you tried to gather your thoughts.

"I don't know. This happens so fast for me, Jungeun. I'm leaving in a few days already. Think about it carefully. Let's talk before I leave." You said seriously.

A small "okay" was her reply.

Although Jungeun is aware that this is a quick occurrence for them, she still believes in her love for you. Additionally, she needs time to reflect on your leaving and other matters after this.

"Also, I want to concentrate on my studies because I have a great responsibility after I graduate from college," You added, slightly explaining to her what you want to happen even after this.

Once again the silence falls between the two of you.

Each minute, the number of cars on the road decreased indicating that it was getting late.

Your hearts felt as though they were about to pop when the sliding door opened and someone spoke.

"What are you two doing there in the cold?" It was Jinsol.

The two of you buffers didn't know what to say.

"U-Uhm we just talked but we're going inside already," you answered her with a thin smile. Jungeun nods along, taking a glance at you before turning to Jinsol.

Jinsol returns the nod and yawns before rubbing her eyes.

Jungeun and you exchanged glances before smiling briefly. You follow Jungeun as she enters the room, and locks the door.

It's now Tuesday afternoon, four days after the party. Moreover, it is the night before your departure. Jinsol started her first day back at school last Monday when the school restored its normal routine.

You paid a final visit to your relatives in Korea over the past weekend. They also decided to treat you to dinner wishing you luck and a safe trip back to your home country.

Since there haven't been many changes in your interactions with Jinsol, you assume that she is still unaware of your situation with Jungeun.

When your doorbell is rung, you are arranging your belongings in your luggage. You get up to open the door, but because it's lunchtime and everyone else is in school, you're not anticipating a visitor today.

To your surprise, it was your cousin that come to your apartment.

"You are now skipping classes, Jeong Jinsol?" you playfully said to her.

Jinsol laughed at you and went inside your apartment saying, "I asked Miss Jung if I can go help you with your stuff, and she gladly agreed."

She has already observed the clutter in your living room. Your sofa is covered in a few stacks of clothing, and there are three pieces of baggage on the ground. Jinsol begins to organize part of your clothing and fold it so that it will fit more compactly in the bag.

You went to your room to get a pile of the books you had purchased while in Korea.

"Are your documents and plane ticket ready?" Jinsol asks while still folding your clothes.

Sitting on the couch adjacent to her, and answered. "Yes, I already arranged them last week. I only have to pack up my things now."

You keep organizing your books. "When did you start packing", Jinsol ask

"Last night." You said and got up again to get some other things in your room.

She stares worriedly at you as you return to the living room, "Did you get enough sleep?"

"Well, kinda. I had other things to do last night, so."

Jinsol has stop putting your clothes in the luggage when she heard your answer.

"You've been sleeping late these past weeks, Y/n. That's not good. Oh, and before I forgot, I'll send you tomorrow at the airport."

You nod to her statement, "I know, I'm just thinking some other things."

"Is this about Jungeun?" Jinsol abruptly said.

You froze for a brief second and questioned if Jinsol knew enough about it.

"I know that it was you, Y/n." She said to you like she had read your mind, " and I'm not mad." she continued.

"I-I'm sorry." this came out naturally from you.

"Don't be. It's not your fault to fall for her." She said and gave an assuring smile.

Because of your guilt for your cousin, you gulped and said, "W-well, It was late when I realize that she was the one you're talking about, but I promised it's not my intention to fall for her."

She had known it was you ever since Jugeun first described you to her in the park. Considering that she has known this aspect of you since you were a child. Furthermore, she noticed how serious you two appeared to be when she saw you on Yves' balcony having a conversation.

Jinsol gives you a small smile and says, "I know, Y/n. I just want to be happy for both of you. She deserves better, and I know it's you."

She meant these words. She values both of you greatly because you and Jungeun played significant roles in her life. Although Jinsol is aware that it would be difficult for her to move on, she will do her best for the two of you.

Well, it works out extremely well for you. You immediately felt relieved as your concern for Jinsol disappeared.

"Is this what you guys talked about last Friday?"

"But, I told her that it happens so quickly and she should think about it more", you replied, slightly shaking your head.

"Just trust Jungeun—" she was interrupted when the sound of your door alarm filled the apartment.

The video intercom shows the girl she was about to say.

Your heart skips a beat the moment you saw her.

"Oh, she's here. You two should talk again. I'll go now and be back later at night." Jinsol smiled at you one last time.

You walked her up to the doorway before she opens it.

Jungeun was startled when she saw you and Jinsol opening the door.

"H-hi." she left a small greeting to both of you.

Jinsol greeted back with a wave and let Jungeun come in.

After locking eyes, you and Jungeun flashed a smile at one another.

"Have a seat." You said to her offering your sofa.

"Thank you, but I'm not going to be here for very long", Jungeun politely declined your offer, saying, "I only want to give you this." She then handed you a piece of paper and said, "I hope you'll read it after your departure."

You take a small red envelope that you assume is a letter.

Feeling your heart sparkling with curiosity and joy about what the letter would be.

"T-thanks," you say, blushing a little on your cheeks.

With embarrassment, Jungeun rubs her nape. "Y/n, I want you to know that I'm really sure of my feelings for you. I know it appears as if it happens fast but the truth is that I didn't realize it sooner. You're right, We should focus more on our goal for ourselves and I'm ready to wait for you no matter what. Let's not hurry the thing about us because if we are really for each other, we are till the end." Jungeun felt weak because her heart was full of delight.

Is it possible to fall in love with someone you've just known for a short while?

To Jungeun, it is. She experienced a different surge of joy while she was with you. She felt her soul was captivated by the warmth of your presence. She felt so domesticated just being around you because you are her home.

You immediately felt as though your soul were being taken to heaven after hearing Jungeun's statement. Your delight caused your hearts to soar.

You cannot stop yourself anymore and hugged Jungeun so tightly. The two of you haven't been this close to each other in a very long time.

"I'm very thankful for assuring me, Jungeun. You don't know how much these words mean a lot to me."

Jungeun hid her face on your shoulder and hugged you back.

She cannot feel her chest anymore. It's too numb because of how happiness and gratification.

That afternoon your hearts were so close to each other, beating in the same rhythm.

It feels like your heartbeats became one.

Jinsol sent you to the airport as she had promised yesterday. Before they left for school, your other friends met you at your apartment. You hugged each of them individually and made a promise to visit them when you have time.

The last person to give you a final, tight hug was Jungeun. She gives you a cheeky kiss on the cheek. You briefly felt frozen, but you immediately tightened your embrace of her.

"I'll miss you," you said whispering to her ear.

When Jungeun felt your breath near her ear, she shivered a little and said, "I'll miss you too."

You are currently on your way to your home country. Opening your bag, you saw the red letter that Jungeun gave to you. Without a doubt, you read it.

To Y/n,

I'm sure you were on your way home by the time you read this letter. I do hope that you'll arrive home safe and sound.

We've settled down a few things here. I'll always keep our promise, and I do hope you'll do the same.

You don't have to be concerned with all of the problems that disturb you. Although time and distance may be a challenge, I am confident that we will always find a way to return to each other's arms.

I'm grateful that the universe allowed our tiny paths to cross. I never would have imagine meeting someone as wonderful as you. I was at my lowest point when you met me. My life was completely soulless and lifeless before you arrived, and I'm pleased you're here now.

A typical human heart beats over 3 billion times throughout their lifetime, but every time I see you, my heart skips a beat, depriving me of the normal amount of heartbeats. How long have I kept myself isolated and terrified of all of these? But this time, I'm willing to take a chance on something genuine. Since I am aware that the greatest love of all is that which the heart may feel but the eyes can not see.

Y/n, forever I will stay with you.

With you, and only you.

For the three years, everyone has been doing very well in their college life. Even though they're studying in different cities, they always find a way to have time together.

Additionally, you keep your promise to pay them a visit when you get the chance. But finding time is never easy due to the time difference and everyone's schedule.

Similarly, Jungeun and you experienced this. You solely communicated through Messaging for the first several months that you were apart from one another. There are times when you glance out your window, and all you see are dark skies and stars, even though you can see the sunset in the background.

But you have a great plan.

The sun is already setting when Jungeun reached her apartment. Opening her door she can already smell the food that is being cooked.

Grinning to herself she thought it was her best friend again surprising her a visit. When she removed her shoes she couldn't recognize the shoes laying on her shoe rack. Additionally, it looks like newly bought shoes too.

"Yah, Jiwoo you didn't inform me again—" she immediately stop in her tracks and was very surprised at what she was seeing.

"Surprise? I guess." You said slightly chuckling before putting down the ladle and turning off the stove

Before you even had a chance to turn around, you felt two arms firmly around your waist. You hold her hands while giggling at her and try to ease them a little so you can turn around and hug her as well.

Jungeun pressed her face on your neck while holding you so dearly.

You wrapped your arms around her neck and gently laughed as you whispered, "I'm not going anywhere, Kim."

"I miss you so much," She said softly. You began to rub her back when you felt a dump on your sleeve.

Kissing her temple, "don't cry."

After some minutes of hugging each other in the middle of her kitchen, Jungeun wiped her tears and sniffled.

"Let's eat, I already cooked your favorite food." You said to her smiling. She nods to you and holds your hand.

You two primarily discussed college life over dinner. She questioned what you were doing in Seoul when you were supposed to be at school today. You explained that you are taking advanced courses so you can graduate faster than planned, which is why you didn't frequently visit them during your holidays.

Because you didn't inform Jungeun of your plan, she acts like she was annoyed. However, she secretly felt touched and proud of you for working so hard to get back to Korea.

Following supper, the two of you spend the rest of the evening cuddling on the couch, feeling at ease. While you two are watching a random television program, Jungeun is resting her head against your chest. Her hair is being caressed by one of your hands as the other is snugly around hers.

Before you both turn in for the night, you two agree to watch the sunrise the following morning.

You haven't been to the Hangang River in a very long time.

The last time you went here was the point at which you realized Jungeun would never truly be yours and that you would have to let her go.

But it looks like the universe has a different plan for both of you.

The moon is setting. You and Jungeun are peacefully strolling down the park's path while casually holding hands.

The warmth in your heart radiates from the heat of your palms against one another.

You two sat down on a seat as the morning sky began to reveal its serene pastel hues. Now that it is awake, the sun is prepared to present everyone with a memorable day.

The sun's dazzlingly bright light reflects Jungeun's face as she looks at her.

You want to wake up to this view each morning.

"Jungeun," you called her softly.

The girl looked at you cutely raising one of her eyebrows and smiling, "hmm?"

"Can I be your girlfriend?" You've been dying to ask her this question for a very long time.

You felt a tight squeeze of your hand.

Jungeun looks at you and playfully says, "The sunrise is beautiful, isn't it?"

This statement made you laugh, and answered her, "It is." while nodding your head.

She smiled at you before leaning in.

"Then, it's a yes."

Those were the last words you heard before you felt her soft lips on yours.

It taste like a wine.

The wine of her affection.

#loona #kim lip #loona scenarios #kim lip scenarios #loona oneshots #loona angst #loona fluff #kim lip oneshots #loona x reader #girl group imagines #loona imagines #loona fic #girl group scenarios #odd eye circle

60 notes · View notes