I know public transit is great and we should invest in it more and make it better and more accessible (BELIEVE ME I know — I worked in public transit as operations/dispatch/IT for a while, and also didn’t get a license until I was 18 or a car until several years after, and mainly lived in areas with little/no transport before college)

But also you will pry my car from my cold, dead hands.

I grew up basically stuck at home with an abusive father who wouldn’t let me go anywhere, and finally getting a car was my “holy shit this is what freedom feels like” moment. I still sometimes drive to a restaurant over an hour away or to a different state for the day just because I can.

Not having the ability to do that would feel like suffocating.

You can have your public transit utopia and I can also still have my car. Those are things that absolutely can coexist.

snw 3x01

now I’m having Thoughts so I might as well

this would be how I want it, but trying to keep it realistic to the previous writing

we have our season 2 recap and end with Chris staring into the camera like he’s dying

we open on the Gorn ship. It’s dark and creepy and we hear the clicking. The prisoners are panicking. La’an and co. assess the situation and decide they are in trouble. La’an has an angsty line about the gorn being monsters.

it’s set up to be a Chris episode but I’m already so tired so let’s make it a La’an episode. I want flashbacks. IN FACT, we opened with a flashback. The creepy ship was a flashback, we saw little La’an, and then we went to grown La’an and crew talking.

back to enterprise. Let’s not make their momentary escape a big deal that takes up time, let’s just say they’re away somewhere safe-ish for the moment. The bridge crew- pointedly missing Erica, La’an, and M’Benga- discuss their options. After Pike insists they’re going to get their people back, Spock is assigned to find a way to get onto the gorn ship.

Pike dismisses everyone but Una stays. She knows what he’s thinking, but she’s absolutely not letting him onto that ship. He froze on the bridge and he’s compromised. Una has super strength, and as first officer she’s supposed to take the dangerous missions anyway. Pike is all “you don’t understand, I have to” and Una drops her friendly approach. My crew too. La’an is over there. Chris you are not fit for this. She convinces him but he’s angsty about it.

On the Gorn ship, Sam is panicking. La’an tells him to shut up and he gets mad, and Erica goes to calm him down. M’Benga checks on La’an and says he knows how hard this is. Our favorite tragic past girlie goes no you don’t. Erica comes back and reports on the morale of the prisoners. Second flashback, little La’an is being shoved through a gorn ship with other prisoners. Someone tries to run and they get eaten.

ENTERPRISE

Chris goes to check on Batel. She has accepted her impending death and he has Not. They have a little tiff about it. Chris reveals that a team is going over. Christine comes over with meds and Chris leaves. Batel goes get me stable enough to join the mission.

meanwhile, Spock, Pelia, and Una are discussing how to get to the gorn ship and back. They need a way to keep in contact without the gorn knowing. Una repeatedly emphasizes that they do in fact need a way back. Scotty and Uhura are hanging around and Scotty suggests something. Uhura builds on it. Something something phase harmonics something something transporters. Spock and Pelia go sounds legit. Una says do it.

GORN SHIP

La’an is briefing the other three on what the gorn are going to do. It is not fun. She’s going off about how they’re animals and monsters and Sam is like… they have spaceships. Let’s assume some rationality. La’an is like nO you don’t uNdERsTanD. We need to RUN. yes but we need a plan. They start to make a plan.

ENTERPRISE

chris gets a call from April and he’s ordered to retreat. They fight about it. April ends the call with a definitive get back here or so help me.

Una and her team (Spock, some redshirts, Scotty to set up a way to get them back) are suited up and ready to go. Chris comes to see them off. Batel walks in, also suited up, and Chris goes absolutely NOT but it’s not up to him. She’s immune to gorn it makes no sense to leave her behind. We’ll talk about this when I get back. They beam away.

Uhura calls him in a panic. The communication set up isn’t working. The away team is on their own.

GORN SHIP

La’an and co. are on the move. Sam works out where the transporter room is and he and M’Benga are going to get the prisoners there. La’an and Erica are going to find the engine room and lower the shields. Flashback to little La’an being dumped on the breeding planet.

The away team doesn’t have comms. They start to creep through the ship towards human life signs.

Flashback to little La’an being captured and put in the lifeboat. Erica and La’an talk as they head towards the engine room. If we want a little Erica backstory here we can do that. They mostly talk about the gorn. They get to the engine room and start to work with on the shields. Something clicks in the shadows. They don’t see it.

the away team finds the prisoners. M’Benga tells Una La’an and Erica went for the engine room. Una and Batel go after them while Scotty and Spock work on the transporters. Scotty has an idea about communication.

a gorn attacks La’an and Erica from the shadows. La’an is knocked over and her vision (and the camera) goes fuzzy. Little La’an is in the lifeboat, oxygen is falling, it’s very cold. Grown La’an sees/hears phaser fire, and sees the gorn go down. A figure in Starfleet gold approaches little La’an, kneels next to her. “Hello? Can you hear me?” The face comes into focus. Grown La’an “Una?” (This is the main moment I want. Do what you want with the rest I want this moment specifically). Una pulls La’an to her feet and I want a hug but I will settle for La’an about to break down and Una squeezes her arm or something. We see the gorn got her with the venom and La’an starts to panic but Una calms her down. One problem at a time.

Batel and Erica have done something to the shields. And they can destroy the other gorn ships, just for fun. Someone would have to stay behind, though.

Scotty is doing some wire engineering thing and goes I’ve got it!

ENTERPRISE

Chris is STEWING. Uhura is on the comms, doing her best. They get a signal. They start to beam people over.

GORN SHIP

the girls are fighting about who gets to die. Batel is like I’m dying anyway let me do this for my crew. Una goes well I’m dying too so checkmate. If she wants to fight dirty, Una goes what am I going to say to Chris? Batel is like it’s my choice. Also, you think Chris would forgive me if I came back without you? Another gorn drops by and goes for La’an, and Una puts herself in between. (Yes I realize if she’s been sprayed the gorn shouldn’t attack her. Don’t worry about it I’m working on it. It wouldn’t be the biggest plot hole in this show.) Batel jumps in front of her, and the gorn backs off. Erica kills it/knocks it out. Batel says she’ll call when she’s ready to go. Una sends La’an and Erica back but she’s going to try to stay. Batel calls for her to be beamed out and the enterprise obeys.

ENTERPRISE

Una goes no send me back!!! Or get her out!!! She’s trying to sacrifice herself!! Scotty works on it but for technobabble reasons it can’t be done. Chris talks to Batel and she says goodbye. We see her on the gorn ship, she does not look good. The lizard babies are coming and she’s running out of time. The angst. The chaos. Batel takes out all the gorn ships.

for whatever reason the enterprise is buffeted by the explosion or something. They get out. Chris is shell-shocked. This is when Una chooses to almost faint and La’an yells about getting her to sickbay.

IN SICKBAY

Christine is working on Una. Somber moment. They both try to banter a little.

chris is talking to M’Benga. I can’t lose her, too. M’Benga goes her Illyrian physiology is reacting in a way I have never seen, and cannot predict. It’s not a good prognosis. La’an punches a wall and storms out, Chris goes after her. They talk about Una and how much they love and need her.

there’s a ruckus from inside sickbay. La’an and Chris run back in and Una is glowing. It takes a long time, and she passes out. Frozen moment of silence. Christine scans her and says there’s no gorn. They draw some blood and labs. This could mean a cure. La’an and chris are on either side of the bed. La’an is crying. Una is tired.

LATER

Something something captain’s log. Headway against the gorn but they’re still a threat. Admiral April something. Is what I’ve lost worth what we’ve gained or some broody nonsense.

Chris is staring out the window in his quarters. Una comes in. She’s been released from sickbay, after they took a lot of samples. Chris pours her a drink, and they toast Batel, and the conversation gets to he doesn’t know what he’d do without Una. Una hugs him. Chris leans all the way into the hug, and we zoom out to the ship. We think it’s done.

WRONG. We have traumatized La’an so much so let’s check on her. Surprise surprise, she’s having a nightmare. Memories of Una pulling her out of the lifeboat, Una on the gorn ship from this episode, Una dying, everyone dying, there are gorn everywhere- La’an wakes up.

…obviously I am not a screenwriter. This would be fun though. Gets everything I want, anyway.

if anyone has any theories on where they think the first episode will go, I’d love to hear them!!!!

Sicktember #3

Prompt: “What happened to your phenomenal immune system, huh?”

Fandom/OCs: New Girl (Schmidt and CeCe)

Words: 1240

Sicknario inspo: Knowing someone is sick because they sleep in from this post, "sounding like that" from this post, sleeping on her side of the bed from this post. 

Author’s comments/background:  I’m not used to writing this fandom, so idk how good the characterization is. But I love Schmidt and CeCe’s dynamic and it was fun to (attempt to) explore. And there is simply not enough New Girl sickfic in the world so here you go.

~~~***~~~

Dating a person like Schmidt was never boring. He was anything but predictable. However, he WAS a man of routine. Every time CeCe had slept over, it was always he that woke her, whether by bringing her breakfast or by exercising in the room to show off his body, or by kissing her somewhere sensual, he was always the early riser. Therefore, when one day she woke to find him still snoring beside her, she knew immediately that something was wrong. 

She ran a hand down his arm, and he barely stirred. His skin was very warm. All of him was, she realized, and had been for a while. She was sweating just lying next to him. She slid out of bed, and still he didn't move. She watched him for a moment, frowning in concern as she debated waking him. He slept like the dead, though, breathing thickly, so she decided to leave him be. 

Pulling on a robe, she padded out to the kitchen just as Nick and Jess emerged from their rooms as well. They headed straight for the coffee pot, barely awake, but stopped when they realized it was empty. They wordlessly turned to CeCe.

"Why didn't Schmidt make coffee this morning?" Jess mumbled, barely awake. 

"Schmidt's not up yet."

That roused them more than anything else could have. Nick and Jess glanced at each other worriedly.

"He's not… awake? How is that possible?" Nick asked. "It's Schmidt. He's like a robot. He's programmed to get up at the exact same time every day and make us coffee."

"Not today, I guess," said CeCe. "I think he's sick. He's like, super warm. And he's snoring. It's not normal."

Nick groaned. "Great. His delicate internal wiring is compromised. Who knows what'll happen now. Sick Schmidt is a very bad thing. I'm not sticking around here until he wakes up. We're getting dressed and we're leaving, Jess."

"But–" Jess tried, looking at the coffee pot forlornly. Nick grabbed her arm and led her back to the bedroom before she could finish, closing the door behind them. 

CeCe sighed. So much for getting any help from them.This was the first time she had ever dealt with sick Schmidt before, and she was at a loss.

When people were sick, what did they need? Medicine probably. Soup. Water. She could handle that. She didn't want to wake him up, though, since sleep was important too. She decided to leave him be for the time being. At least it was Saturday and she wouldn't have to worry about dealing with his job for a few days. 

She got ready around him, listening to him snuffle and snore and mumble. Just as she was nearly finished, he rolled over suddenly. The movement apparently shifted whatever was in his nose, because he suddenly lifted his head to sneeze thickly:

"Hnnkkt'CHUH! Hehgg'CHUHH! EHHG'choo!"

He had clumsily thrown his elbow over his face in an attempt at covering, but the spray had still gone everywhere. Schmidt made a disgusted noise, clawing several tissues out of the box by his bed and scrubbing everywhere he could reach. 

"Bless you," CeCe said, making him jump. 

He looked beside him where she had been lying then back at her, as if making sure he wasn't hallucinating. 

"CeCe? Why are you upb so early?" he mumbled, his voice rough and congested. 

"It's not early, babe. It's late. It's after ten."

"Whadt!?" He jumped out of bed, staggering against the wall for a minute before he found his balance. "I godda go for mby Saturday run," he croaked. "I ndever mbiss mby run." He began to rifle through his dresser for his running clothes. 

CeCe moved to his side, grabbing his hands to still them and pushing the dresser drawer closed with her hip. "You're definitely not going for a run sounding like that. You'd pass out from not breathing." 

"I'mb fide, CeCe," he said, swiping at his nose with his shoulder. 

"No. You're not. You're sick," she said. 

"I'mb ndot sigck. I take extreme precautions and have a phenombenal immbune systemb. I ndever gedt sigck. Idt's jusdt… allergies."

CeCe rolled her eyes. "You're sick, trust me. You have a fever. You woke me up because you were so hot."

"Girl, you know I'mb always hodt," he said, taking a stab at his usual attitude and failing miserably. 

"Uh huh, sure," she said, unimpressed. "I'm just saying, you should take some medicine for all that hotness or you're just going to feel worse."

"Girl, they don't mbake mbedicine for whadt I godt," he tried again, coming off even less convincing. 

"Nope, they sure don't," she said flatly, grabbing her purse. "Whatever, do what you want. I have to go, Schmidt, I've got a gig at noon. But I'll be back when I'm done. Jess and Nick and Winston left, so please try not to do anything stupid until I get back. At least drink some orange juice or something. And maybe don't leave the apartment. I'm worried you'd get lost with a fever like that."

"I'mb fide, CeCe, really."

"Whatever you say, Schmidt. I'll see you in a few hours." With that she left, shaking her head, hoping against hope that he couldn't do too much damage to himself in that time.

~~~

She let herself into the loft with some trepidation that evening, wondering what she would find. The apartment was dark and quiet, and Schmidt was nowhere to be seen. Tossing down her stuff, she went in search of him. To her shock, she was exactly where she'd hoped he'd be… in bed, in his pajamas, napping, surrounded by used tissues. There was another break in routine, though: he was sleeping on her side of the bed, his face pressed into her pillowcase. Her face softened at the sight, and she went to his side, trailing her nails over his arm. His eyes flickered open, then lit up upon seeing her. 

"CeCe, you're bagck! How was your gig?"

"Fine. The usual. Hot, dumb models and ugly, dumb directors everywhere. You would've loved it." 

"Sounds like a dreamb," he yawned. 

"But how are you? How are you feeling, actually?" 

"Sigck," he muttered. "Tired. I barely lefdt this roomb all day."

"What happened to your phenomenal immune system, huh?" she gently teased as she shimmied out of her shoes and dress and pulled on a robe. 

"Idt abandoned mbe, jusdt like everyone else," he sighed pathetically, closing his eyes.

"I'm here, aren't I? And look, you didn't even leave me room on the bed. Why are you lying over here, anyway?"

"Smbells like you," he said, barely audible, even as he shifted over to make room for her.

She had no smart remark to that, since it tugged on her heartstrings just a little too hard. She brushed away most of the tissues, then slid in next to him on the bed, letting her boyfriend cuddle into her arms immediately. He made a needy sound. 

"I mbissed you," he sighed. "I hate bei'g sigck. Idt ruins everythi'g." 

"Yeah, I get that," she said. "Makes for great cuddle time, though."

At last, she saw him smile for the first time all day. "Guess you'll have to show mbe."

And that's exactly what she did.

Year Two and a Halfish (Threads of Fate)

Hi! E here still alive. Been. a while. Sorry if you were expecting updates sooner my laptop was having some serious black screen issues and every attempt at sending it to get repaired is getting stonewalled and honestly it's infuriating and yeah. That happened. Hopefully this time it gets properly fixed and i can go back to writing consistently. I'm just using my mom's laptop to write in the meantime.

So it's super late but Merry Christmas @hains-mae! WOO! this is her gift that she requested at the time (I was pretty surprised when she wanted me to write this story but then i was promptly told she wanted her Solider Poet King for her birthday so that explained everything haha.

I started working on this a few days ago and unfortunately something happened here in America relates in a small part to the story. Honestly maybe I'm overreacting or overthinking it but I also know a lot of people read this story and i rather be overly prepped than accidentally not doing enough

Mae wanted a situation where Jason loses it after you, the reader, is injured. She gave me little requests like Robin's line and has to end in all warm feel goodness (cuz i am not legally allowed to write angst haha) so I have chosen that the reader is shot in the shoulder.

Yeah my little thing makes sense now.

It gets a bit intense, maybe? I can never tell cuz I'm writing it. Like i said I could be overthinking this but heads up. It also does end very sweet and homely and all that goodness so no worries. If you don't feel like reading it I understand.

Stay safe everyone. Lose yourself in a story whether it be mine or someone else's and just relax. breath. It'll be okay. Even if it seems like a lot right now.

So yeah hopefully I'll have my laptop fixed and we're all good but at least for now i have an alternate means of writing! Next is probably Mirror's Edge, Mae's birthday gift, Mirror's edge, another gift i owe but that's a personal one that won't be posted.

Be safe, take care of yourself and your loved ones. Wear masks (i know i know but remember you can pass them on to people with compromised immune systems.) remember to get the vaccine or booster cuz it'll help make it bearable. It's okay to just exist and be and let the world pass you by. One step at a time together. Also vaccine worldwide push for it cuz it's important and frankly whatever you feel is important. The issues that matter to you and remember. It'll be okay.

That's it for me! E is out have a great week and i'll see you really soon!

If you want to read this from the start you can find the whole story on this really awesome site right here! https://archiveofourown.org/works/29955270/chapters/73737858

For the rest of my work that includes some awesome original work (so i am told haha) Arcane Legend of Zelda and Soul Eater you can find that over here https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrE42/pseuds/MrE42

Summary: A few months later, you are trying to get to work when a very unfortune thing happens. For better or worse Red Hood is saving the day.

-----

It’s pretty cold right now. I…I don’t recall ever feeling this cold before.

Wait. That’s not…true. I think. I’m pretty sure I’ve been this cold before.

Have I?

Whenever Mister Freeze has a snow day it gets really cold.

I feel for him, I do but...

God it’s cold. Or is it warm? My head is warm. Hands not so much. Feet freezing too.

Am I cold? I can’t tell. Everything is a lot right now. The floor is damp I know that much. I can see my breath frozen midair for a moment.

Someone is yelling, waving something towards me from overhead but I can’t focus. Everything’s a bit blurry.

Why does my side hurt? Fuck did I pull something again? I really hope not. I have work tomorrow. Eww wet too. Did I spill something?

Wait, no. Today. I have work today. Right now I think. What time is it?

Shit why do I feel weak? Arm’s shaking too. I didn’t forget to eat again did I? Ugh Jason’s going to kill me.

Hee, Jason. He’s soooo handsome. I have no idea why he wants out hang with me though. He is way out of my league. Like he’s fucking Batman’s son! HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO IMPRESS THE ACTUAL SON OF BATMAN!?

Mister Wayne? Bruce? Bruce. No not Bruce. I’ve never met him, I don’t think I can be on a first name basis with freaking Batman if I’ve never met him. Well him him. I’ve been saved by the bats before. Few times actually.

I should really thank him for Jason. He’s just amazing.

Okay so maybe I drank a lot. Why am I thinking of Jason?

Ugh, this asshat is yelling at me still. What the hell does he want? He’s talking to me right? Ugh my head’s pounding, I can’t hear anything.

The guy seems frantic, keeps looking back expecting something but I have no idea what. He just keeps gesturing to his open hand. What the fuck does he…

FUCK! That’s right this asshole shot me!

I wince as the sound turns back on all at once: The angry honking of impatient drivers, the numbing chatter of a thousand people living in a concrete jungle as one. The adrenaline is making my senses so sharp I can hear the dripping water splatting against the cold floor of the alley.

I must’ve gone into shock without realizing it. I mean I was just shot so can you blame me?

My shoulder is burning with a white hot pain I only felt twice in my life: Once when Bane slammed a mailbox into me and when I was 12 and I was really trying to…

You know what? Not important. More pressing matters right now.

I remember now that my flight or fight kicked in: I was late to work and I tried cutting through an alley for a shortcut.

Terrible idea in Gotham I know but this one was brightly lit. I didn’t think anyone was stupid enough to try anything.

So naturally the universe decides to give me the one stupidest person who would try.

He waves his gun at me again (it was a gun. Duh.) but honestly I’m too wired to care. Plus he shot a hole in my favorite jacket! AND IT’S GOT BLOOD RUNNING DOWN IT! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO GET BLOOD OUT OF CLOTHING?! Really fucking hard.

Oh. Shit. I’m bleeding out. That’s probably important too.

I try to pick myself off the floor but he takes a step forward, threatening me with the gun again.

“I’ll shoot!” he yells.

Even now, with the last possible moments of my life slipping away, I can’t help but be a smartass.

“You already did you asshat! Shooting me again isn’t gonna make me want to give you my money anymore than the first time!”

Gonna die as I lived: Sassy.

He clicks the hammer on the gun, prepping it to fire again.

I…I feel numb. The adrenaline lessens the pain but it’s still mind dumbing. I just want to scream and fight and yell and go down swinging.

But that’s not who I am. I’m not some superhero or even a regular hero. I’m just a person trying to make my way through this chaotic journey called life. I couldn’t even get up and now because some idiot wants the 10 bucks and a very, very old video rental card to a place that doesn’t exist anymore in my wallet, it was about to end.

I could feel fear bite at my resolve, a dreadful overwhelming sense of finality wash over me. Goosebumps crawled down my skin, the air felt stuffy and too cold all at once as time slowed to a crawl.

I….

I can’t even think.

I’m just scared. I don’t want to go out this way.

I took a deep breath and close my eyes.

I think of my mom, waiting for my phone call later.

I think about Jason Jr, a cat I adopted by accident cuz he had streak of white that was way too familiar. Feed them once and every Jason refuses to leave you.

I do my best to not think of him but Jason Jr leads to Jason the human: His piercing blue eyes that feel like he’s seeing deep into my soul. His messy black hair with that one streak of white that made him so iconic, so distinct from his brothers. The various knicks, tiny bruises, cuts and scars from years being Robin then the Red Hood. Invisible from afar but so, so clear up close.

I can hear his laugh, mostly teasing but with a hint of warmth when I do something dumb. The way shows off his prowess with a knife and how proud he beams when I clap excitedly. Wide smirks when we get into one of our playful chats and jabs. The small smile that graces his lips when he thinks I’m not looking. The quiet thoughtful look when something troubles him. A distance gaze only someone who has experienced for too much has.

I see Jason in my mind but I don’t want that. I want to look him in eye when he tries to be all broody and cool. I want to mess with his hair and tease him about his terrible tastes in books. I want to see him again!

Not like this. No fucking way. I have no idea how I’m going to go but I refuse to let it be like this.

I snap out of my stupor, time seemingly unmoved by whatever deeply reflective crap I just did.

He still has his hand on the gun. I’m still on the floor and this still sucks.

I prep my body, tensing and wincing from my aching shoulder but I try not to be distracted. One shot and whether it works or not, I’m not going to go quietly.

“JUST GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!” the man screams hysterically.

“Fuck you.” I spit out as I’m ready to make my move.

The red string tied around my finger slackens, distracting me at a really bad time but suddenly goes taut like someone is pulling at it.

A thud is all I hear and suddenly the guy is gone. Just vanished into thin air.

I weakly try to stand but my legs turn to jelly and honestly I’m not in fight or flight anymore. I’m in “the floor is nice and solid and I’m just gonna lay here” mode.

So I do just that and fall back on the floor and decide to exist for like the next ten minutes.

I mean I would’ve if something didn’t pick me up.

“Are you okay?” A voice asks, young. Younger than me at least.

“Umm.” I smartly reply.

The young man hums thoughtfully “You’ve been shot.”

“Yeah. That thing.”

“Shock.” He concludes before slipping my good arm over his neck and helps me over to a wall. I take this sec to look and am unsurprised to find Red Robin at my side.

“JA.…” Someone else from above calls out, nearly saying a full name before realizing his mistakes “HOOD!”

Hood? Jason. Jason is the Hood. Jason is here. God I’m tired.

He doesn’t respond if he is here.

A figure elegantly sails through the air, tucking into an impossible swan dive only a skilled master of acrobatics whose trained his entire life could manage so effortlessly.

Plus that’s Nightwing’s ass. It doesn’t matter where you land on orientation, everyone in Gotham and Bludhaven knows that ass.

“HOOD!” Nightwing shouts, less cheery goofyball as per his usual self and more firm. More worried.

Red Robin looks now and his practiced, measured posture drops. He doesn’t even bother to hide his brother’s name.

“Jason. Jason stop! JASON!”

Nightwing has already broken into a full sprint towards where I assume Jason is but Red Robin take a second to make sure I’m comfortable. He places me against the wall and hands me a thick cloth to press over my shoulder. A second later and he’s off. My eyes follow and land on Jason.

Except he’s not Jason right now. He’s Red hood and the difference is….staggering to be honest.

I…forget who he is, the brand of justice he deals out with harsh sentences. Somehow, despite how we first met, I managed to split Jay and Hood into two different entities. Two different people who never happened to be in the same room at the same time.

But now, seeing Jason rain blow and blow upon my attacker, I see it.

Jason favors his right side. He’s amberidext-something but that’s from years of training. He says it feels more natural to him, easier for him to focus on other things.

Red likes using the right too. He’s just a fraction faster using his favored side and it’s clear even with his build that he is quick and there’s power in each punch.

Jason is light on his feet but has a solid stance. He loves to boast how it takes all his siblings to hold back him even if he’s not really trying to break free.

Nightwing can’t stop him neither can Red Robin. They’ve all had the same training from the same teacher but they’re not the same. They all have their strengths: Nightwing was blessed with an inhuman grace (and ass). RR is as smart as Batman and just as capable as a detective.

But Jason? Just a force of nature. Pure muscle and strength only equaled by his mentor and with a will to match.

They could barely slow the battle crazed Hood. It took all they had to pull him back but I could see by the sweat on their brows that it was only a matter of time before he broke free from their grasp. He was like a shark that smelled blood in the water and he wasn’t going to stop until he felt the price of injustice had been paid.

Another figure descended from the roof, smaller in stature and wearing an all too iconic yellow and black outfit: Robin. Well the newest Robin since everyone here minus me was Robin at some point.

You know when you’re drained of adrenaline you get reeeeeeally out of it.

Robin cautiously approached the trashing Red Hood, well aware of how dangerous his brother could be.

“Todd.” Robin spoke firmly “This is wrong. You know this is wrong.”

“Yeah Jay!” Nightwing pitched in quickly “And that’s coming from the kid. Imagine how you’re acting if he’s saying that.”

Robin openly glared “Watch your tongue Grayson.”

“Guys, could we deal with the rampaging Jason before we start snipping at each other?” Red Robin pleaded with immense strain.

Nightwing tightened his grip “Jay please. They’re watching.”

Jason’s shoulders slump as realization dawned on him. I could physically note when the exact moment the fight left him.

And me as I promptly passed out.

-----

I wish I could tell you after such a harrowing ordeal that I reflected with a deep and newly acquired profound understanding of my existence, the importance of living each day to the fullest and my place in the universe for really I am the instrument in which the universe….

Yeah no. I woke up on a cloud and instantly hated existing cuz pain is not fun.

I’m not exaggerating by the way. I found myself on the most comfortable bed I have ever been. It was like it was molded for me, shaping around my body in a way that didn’t aggravate my aches. I mean it didn’t stop them but I’ll take anything I could get.

“I see you are awake.”

I couldn’t even flail so I settled for screaming at the top of my lungs.

The most British older gentleman I have ever seen regarded me with a stony face of indifference though I swore I saw a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.

“I must admit I have never illicit that particular response before.” He said dryly complete with stiff upper lip “But I can see why it is Master Bruce’s favorite.”

I could feel my cheeks burn “Ah yes. Sorry I….sorry. Umm good morning mister…?”

The man gave a bow “Pennyworth. Normally I would ask you to refer to me as such but seeing as young Master Jason has spoken about you at great length and detail it seems only fair we are on a more familiar basis. Alfred is my name.”

I chuckled nervously as realization dawns on me “Yes. Please forgive me…Alfred? Sir? I…Long night.”

“I should say so what with that bullet lodged in your shoulder.”

I could feel my shoulder ache dully at the reminder.

“Ugh I gotta get to a hospital huh? Don’t want to get lead poisoning. Umm Alfred, sir, do you know if Gotham Blue covers gunshot wounds? My brain is still a bit scrambled.” I speak honestly.

Even his laugh is dry “Do not worry. I have taken the liberty of removing the round as you were sleeping. It made the process simpler and more efficient. A refreshing change of pace I will admit. My usual patients like to insist very serious gunshot wounds fall under the category of merely a ‘scratch’.”

I opened my mouth to reply but someone else answered for me “We’re bats Alfred. Comes with the territory that we get shot at.”

Jason sauntered into the room lazily but I knew he’d been worried: His hair was extra messy and matted, his shoulders slumped as his posture hunched over. His hands were stuffed into his pockets, probably fiddling with whatever he had inside. His gaze was intensely focused on Alfred but I could see him struggling not to look at me.

Alfred’s gave a slight smile “Ah yes. Forgive me Master Todd but I do recall there is quite the difference between being shot at and being shot in general. One many of you seem to have difficulty grasping.”

Jason shrugged, unsure what to say.

“Beg your pardon” Alfred turned to me “I must prepare breakfast. I shall be back shortly with some French toast and fresh bandages for your wound.”

With a polite bow Alfred briskly left the room and sent a scurrying of hurried feet racing from the door.

Silence, not awkward but still tense. The lingering sense of shame filled the air.

Jason wouldn’t look at me.

“Your siblings will be back soon.” I nudged him helpfully “If you want a private conversation I’d say we got like 5 minutes.”

“Twenty.” Jason mumbled uneasily “They really like to scatter to make sure no one is suspicious but Alfred and Bruce know us too well to fall for it. Alfred will suddenly find tiny and convenient issues around the house to prevent them from circling back and Bruce will track one or two down to have a quick chat.”

“Neat.” I said honestly.

Silence fell over us again but I knew it was because Jason was gathering his thoughts into words. When things really mattered he always took his time.

“I’m sorry.” He said, still refusing to meet my gaze.

I scoffed loudly “I wasn’t aware you shot me.”

“This isn’t the time for being a smartass!”

“It isn’t the time for being a dumbass either but here you are.”

“I know you saw me.”

I sighed deeply “Of course I saw you. What, do you think I never wanna see you again?”

Jason remained quiet.

“Look.” I tried to sit up “I’m not gonna pretend like I know what your life’s been like and what you did last night was…a lot.”

“Don’t move, you’ll make it worse.” He said but I ignored him.

“Make me Jay.”

Jason whirled around so quick I nearly didn’t see him gently push me onto back.

“Oww.” I wheezed but Jason held a firm yet careful hold on me “Cheater.”

“How? How did I cheat?” Jason gave a cutely offended look.

I snort “Alphabetically or chronologically?”

Jason glared “If you say Batman trained me one more time…”

“Am I lying?” I smirked “The most training I got was little league and I sucked at it.”

“You hit a homerun once” He offered helpfully.

I rolled my eyes playfully “I hit home, not a homerun. Big diff Jay.”

“True. Only you could hit the homebase and send it flying 5 feet.”

“Hey! It was 20 feet. Minimum.”

“Mhm sure. My bad.” Jason finally grinned “I suppose you also managed to get 5 points for doing that too.”

“Don’t forget the scholarship too! You always forget the scholarship.”

“Do not!”

“Do too!”

“No!”

“Duh!”

We stared at each other deeply for a moment before breaking out into laughter.

Well Jason did. I took one breath and suddenly I was violently coughing.

“Oww oww oww.”

“Idiot.” He mumbled as he tucked me into the sheets.

I gave a cheesy grin “Worth it.”

Jason raised a quizzical eyebrow.

“Okay no, not really” I admitted “That hurt way more than I was expecting.”

“Rest.” Jason threatened me with arms crossed.

I was too tired to care the words “Only if you’re here to keep an eye on me.” Tumbled out of my mouth before I thought better.

Jason shifted guiltily “Look I…”

In for a pound. I gently placed on my hand over his “We’ll talk about it later. For now it’s over and honestly I really don’t wanna think about it this second. I am just….really happy to see you Jay.”

He took my hand in his.

“You really need to stop taking shortcuts.” He scolded lightly.

“Hey!” I raised my free hand defensively “There were lights! What kind of idiot tries to rob someone in a well lit alley?!”

“The one that shot you yesterday.”

“No shit Jay.” I glared openly at him but all he did was smirk in response.

As beautiful as this moment was, I had to ruin it. A thought began to bother me and Jason noticed.

Jason motioned with his head “Don’t think too hard. Your body can’t handle the strain right now.”

“Oh shut it. You said Bruce was gonna intercept your siblings, right?”

“Umm yeah.” Jason was unsure where I was going with this “He pretends to be emotionally constipated but he’s very good at bed side manner and respectful with privacy.”

I nodded in agreement “Have you ever brought anyone to here?”

Jason’s face fell “Oh no.”

“Emotionally constipated? You’re being unusually kind today Jason.”

The doors flung open and in strode the one, the only, the myth, the legend and Jay’s father: Bruceman.

Shit I mean Batwayne. Brucebat.

Bruce motherfreaking Wayne gave me a million dollar smile “Hello I’m Bruce Wayne. It is so nice to meet you. Jason never brings any of his friends over.”

I could feel myself pale as I stared dumbfounded at his outstretched hand.

Then I promptly passed out.

trying to get over my slump w this request from @maygennnnnx 💕 thank you (if you’re still here)!!

tw: MESS. seriously, i feel like i usually don’t really write too much mess, but i’m trying it out and as such, this one deserves a mess warning.

distant | weed | fuss | struggle | couple | professional | remember | nap | abundant | objective | wrong | discreet | gift | stay | collapse | cabin | practical | defend | haunt | indoor | rhythm | ankle | incentive | healthy | steam | anger | bond | text | correction | visible | guess | cinema | maze | contrary | observer | nuance | neglect | lip | reflection | sniff | authority | illusion | echo | medicine | lace | insurance | knit | dealer | grudge | affair | sofa | expertise | passion | spill | laundry | exposure | shelter | privilege | manner | relax | compromise | sacred | doubt | philosophy | thaw | ticket | bike | bench | vain | bed | improvement | pier | gravity | immune | vigorous | productive | reception | veil | bee | train | harsh | loyalty | fresh | late | mind | highway | sound | frozen | annual | soup | instinct | groan | lonely | spite | bill | crude | dare | magazine | mess | ignore | sketch | flush | liability | camp | brag | sour | compensation

***

“Why didn’t you just text me? You know we have phones now, right?”

Steve shrugged sheepishly, holding two coffees. “I dunno. I just figured I’d drop by.”

He’d come to visit Bucky, unprompted, and found him on his couch at home, pressing a crumpled tissue to his streaming nose.

Steve gently kicked the door closed, trying his best not to spill the coffees he’d bought. He made his way to the couch and was just about to sit next to him when Bucky coughed, waving him away.

“Trust me, you don’t want this. It’s a super cold,” he said, through honking blows. Bucky wasn’t even embarrassed about it anymore; he felt too sick to care.

“And I have a super immune system,” Steve rolled his eyes, sitting down. “Move over.”

Bucky pulled his knees closer to his chest so that Steve could sit where his feet were. And just like that, he had to sneeze again.

It’d been happening all morning: the itch, the false start, the gasping, and his signature two sneezes. And Bucky was getting sick of it.

“Hh’GNNNT!” The first was stifled so successfully that his ears popped. Caught off guard, the second came full force. “Hh’RRSHSHHHHHSHHHH!”

“Bless you, Buck.” Steve set the coffees on the table and instead snatched a few tissues out of the box in front of them. “Those were some sneezes you got there.”

Bucky sniffled miserably, dabbing at his chapped nose. “Yeah, thad’s beed happeding a lot.”

Fuck. Come to think of it, his sinuses were already prickling again. Too quick for him to register, his breath caught and he geared up for another. “H-hUH! Huh’TSSSCHHSHHHH!”

Steve felt a bit of spray hit his hand, just barely misting it. The tissue in Bucky’s trembling hand was all but destroyed, and his quivering nostrils threatened to drip onto his upper lip. Steve watched him — this absolute spectacle unfolding before him — and felt frozen in place as Bucky’s chest rose and fell.

It was a completely failed stifle.

Bucky didn’t prepare for such a wretched sneeze, nor the utterly disgusting sound that came out of him. “E-ehh’RGSHSHSHSHHFF!”

He felt his nose running onto his top lip and snuffled desperately into the back of his hand, trying to hide the fact that he’d snotted all over himself. He grabbed his nose with one hand, continuing to sniffle. “F-fuggk.”

Steve pressed a handful of tissues into Bucky’s free hand. “Bless you.”

***

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my sleep schedule is all fucked up. i’ll fall asleep at 1 or 2 even if i take a melatonin around 9. last night i took a hydroxyzine because they knock me out but i still fell asleep around 1am. then i woke up to my alarm clock at 8 then knocked out again and woke up at 11 ;___; (i had to buy the alarm clock because i sleep through all of my phone alarms now. like they do nothing for me) and today i am so exhausted. i started my period and it is super heavy right out of the gate, so my energy is really low. i feel lightheaded and i’ve been stumbling a lot more than usual. i almost fell in the shower which was kind of scary lol. now i’m lying in bed trying not to take a nap. my mom thinks my immune system might be compromised o_o

A semi long rant about US Healthcare

So... Insurance has been kicking us in the ass lately, and by “us” I mean me and my fellow ND’s and Immune Compromised folk. And now why do I say that?

It’s taken family months to get okayed for procedures bc the Insurance don’t want to okay the procedures without scans and tests that the doctors refuse to do until the needed procedures is done so they know what’s going on with our immune systems.

I literally am at risk of dying because my insurance wont send me my insulin unless I send them a daily report of my blood glucose readings for a month - which sounds invasive but super easy to do right? WRONG! I’m extremely ND, I am diagnosed with things like ADP, DID, Severe Anxiety + PTSD, and Clinical Depression. I am also fairly certain I have ADHD or am Autistic but have not been able to get either a: a therapist and psychiatrist bc of costs and insurance, and b: get an appointment into any kind of clinic that can check me for ADHD and Autism. Now I hear you all thinking; “but your diagnosed already with APD if you had ADHD or Autism wouldnt they have diagnosed you at the same time?”  And you’d be right, they should have. I am trans (FtM) and there is a massive problem of older children, especially girls, who are refused to get diagnosed with ADHD and Autism until they are adults (see source here), when I was diagnosed with APD at the ripe age of 9 I was told “you dont have the other two don’t worry” as if it was a bad thing to be diagnosed with.

So why now, in my 20′s is it even harder to get anything through to get diagnosed and how is it affecting me getting my life saving medication? I’m a bit of a scatterbrain at times, object permanence and all, if I’m not actively thinking about how I need to be doing something to take care of my health my brain deems it isn’t as important as the thing I am doing right now, I’ll have time after I’m done and doing that thing now like taking a shower or checking my BG will take precious time out of what I’m doing now. But if I don’t check my BG and give myself insulin for the pretzels I’m snacking on rn - I won’t get approval to continue getting my insulin prescription. And half the time I don’t know if its because I’m undiagnosed and unmedicated or just because I’ve conditioned myself into living like this, and maybe that thought process is from years of masking as a Neurotypical person. ON TOP OF THAT; my arthritis is getting so bad to the point I need to wear a leg and ankle brace anytime I go outside and bring a cane with me because it has reached my legs and makes it painful to even walk, I can’t do my job for long periods because my arthritis makes my hands clamp up and cause me to be in agony even with just typing.

Now the US government has made it so I as a gender-fluid. transgender, asexual, biromantic man, might not even be allowed medical service for the fact I’m LGBT+.  So I hope you can see the problem people like me are being forced to experience and maybe some of you out there can relate to it too... and if you do- you aren’t alone out there, we’ll get through this together.

Happy new year!! I hope your well, I dont wanna bug you so you can totally ignore this if you want I was just curious about how chapter 4 is going? I’m super excited! sorry if I’m bother you, no pressure! I just look forward to the continue of the fic ^__^

Happy New Year to you too, ‘nonny! 🎆🎇

You are absolutely 100% not bothering me, never ever ever am I bothered by questions about fics. Your excitement for my fics brings me so much joy, I never mind being poked about new chapters or sequels. I know some people can feel pressured by these types of questions, but I promise you that I never feel pressured or rushed, so I’m always willing to answer questions 🙃

So, to actually answer your question lol, chapter four of ‘Do I Ever Cross Your Mind’ is nearly done, hallelujah! I know I haven’t updated the fic since November I think, I was actually very sick in November, first with Covid and then I was having some heart issues, so it was difficult to write. After that the ‘One Year of Not Me prompt week’ happened in early December, which I put all my focus on. I had planned on having chapter four out in time for Christmas, but I then got sick again! 🤯 I know right!? I have like the worst luck, seriously having a compromised immune system is not something to take lightly, it’s a complete shit show most of the time 😷

So yeah, I know chapter four have been stuck in half written limbo for a while now. But it really is nearly done, promise! I would like to have it out by this weekend, but I’m on day two of a migraine from hell so I shall see if I can meet that deadline, fingers crossed!🤞

I also have a continuation of my ToddBlack fics coming out soon and I’m preparing for the Semantic Error prompt month that’s coming up, I also have a couple random one shots that I wanna post to celebrate my birthday in a couple weeks 🥳🎉 But trust me, before any of that stuff happens, chapter four will come out first. I pinky swear 💖

It sucks getting covid but it sucks even more when you feel like you’ve done everything you possibly can and yet are taken down by the foolish actions of someone else.

I honestly thought I was going to make it through. Our current wave (where I live) is winding down, I had been wearing masks everywhere (the N95/P2 ones too) even when it got super sweaty and uncomfortable. I had gone to sweaty packed in music events and hadn’t caught anything (try wearing a mask at that and they didn’t turn the aircon on) I am quadruple vaxxed.

I had a family member come over for Christmas from interstate. They were not boosted (which at this point is essentially the same as being unvaxxed) and did not wear a mask on the plane. The second they mentioned being unwell I masked up and moves to a different bedroom/bathroom in the house. I wore a mask throughout christmas. But alas it was too little too late

It felt like we barely had much contact but somehow I still got it. I know most people would say it’s not a big deal and i’ll be fine but it’s still somewhat upsetting. It’s not just being unwell (though that sucks) it’s also not knowing how long it will take to recover, if i’ll get better or worse or (god forbid) the long term effects, if any. (not that i’m overly worried but it’s now a thing i guess) I think it’s because this was not a risk that I calculated and made a decision on myself (and maybe I’m a bit resentful cause it hit me harder than him)

I don’t want to lecture people about what they should and shouldn’t do but I feel for people who are immune compromised. Who now have to essentially play russian roulette every time they leave the house because other people don’t care. It takes zero effort to wear a mask or keep up with vaccinations. We’re all operating under the assumption that catching covid is a trivial matter and I don’t really get it.

It’s made me feel like eveything I did was for nothing and that I may as well not bother. I got it. I’m not the main character in the plague movie, i’m just a nameless casualty. But I know that’s untrue. Reducing the number of times I got infected was still important and will be going forward. I just feel like I was so close to making it out. And i hated it every time someone said “we’ll we’re all gonna catch it” I thought i could prove them wrong 😞.

It finally caught me

In the words of Doctor Walks His Cat:

“It finally caught you.”

And he said it like this because I had been doing such a spectacular job of avoiding the pandemic so far. Those super simple instructions:

1. Keep 6 feet apart from strangers

2. Wash your hands

3. Wear a mask

SUPER SIMPLE.

I will never understand why people have had such a hard time following them. ‘Cuz I do it consistently.

My work moved me to a different department when I told them I needed to come back full time. I’ve heard this new department referred to as “the petri dish” and pretty much 50% of the Covid announcement email notices the company sends out are that from this department has a positive Covid case in it.

So guess who, with her compromised immune system, found a way to pick up Covid anyway?

If you guessed me, you guessed right. I now get to be an announcement email notice to the company. I’ll probably have to sanitize my own space when I get back, too.

I’ve been symptomatic for 8 days now, but they’re winding down now so that’s a relief. I know the CDC says you’re supposed to “stay home and isolate if you develop symptoms.” Work only gives 5 days of Covid leave though and I literally can’t afford to not work, so I go back to work on Monday. One of my good friends at work was all bent outta shape about it, saying that coming back prematurely, getting worked into the ground, and then it gets worse.

Well, yeah. But I don’t have any sick time available so the only days I have will be those five days of Covid leave the company will allow.

He tells me, everyone knows that COVID takes two weeks standard to get over; they're ridiculous. My friend wants me to come back, he just also cares that my well-being is a priority.

Well, that’s not how this cookie crumbles. If you’ve been here a minute you’re aware that this cookie crumbles in the strangest, most inconvenient ways possible. And then, sometimes for good measure, matches get lit, and the crumbles burst into flame.

On another note, my mom/rock has been telling me that since I withdrew from school to focus on making money FOR school that I seem happier and more relaxed. Which makes a ton of sense to me logistically. My high functioning anxiety presents as perfectionism and people pleasing. These are phenomenal traits for customer service which I work in, but STRESSFUL traits for a student learning a new career in a new field that they’re not accustomed to. Which is where I find myself when I’m in school. I’m sure you’re picking up what I’m putting down.

I find myself fighting my own body (which is my everyday anyway), the pandemic virus (which I was hoping to avoid and FAILED at), and a work system (which I surrendered to REAL quick because work speaks my love languages—food, friendly people, and health insurance.)

Surviving Susac,

Aurora

Sick days // Hunter x reader

My google history search after this: what do they call toilets in Star Wars? Star Wars rabies?

Summary: I would do anything for Hunter, even take care of him when he has food poisoning. I saw a sick day prompt list and didn't end up using anything but it inspired this cluster fuck

TW: throwing up, alcohol mention but no use, bad writing I just love him ok

"Hey, have you seen Hunter? I need him to sign off on some damage reports." You announced as you entered the cockpit of the ship as it barreled through hyperspace, throwing a pointed look at Wrecker who was the main reason for most of aforementioned damage reports.The other members of Clone Force 99 made some sort of acknowledgment of your existence. Wrecker grinned obliviously at you as continued doing bicep curls with a GONK droid while Tech made brief eye contact with you before going back to some sort of machinery he’d dissected. Crosshair was the only one to actually somewhat answer your question, giving you a sassily quirked eyebrow and motioning down with his toothpick. "I’m assuming that super vague motion would mean he’s in the cargo hold?" You pressed but you had already turned around to go find the sergeant. "Should we tell ‘er?" You heard Wrecker ask but when no one answered him, you assumed things would be fine. Besides after almost a year with the Bad Batch, you’d walked in on them in all sorts of compromising moments. Nothing would surprise you anymore.

After popping down the ladder into the cargo bay, you did a cursory sweep. Crosshairs rifle was disassembled on a crate for cleaning, more of Tech’s mechanical experiments in a heap by the bay doors, your own trunk of belonging… but no sign of Hunter. "Hunter? Are you down here?" You poked a little further into the sleeping quarters, like any room that housed four soldiers who didn’t know how to mop, the smell chased you right back out. Shaking your head you thought to yourself, That should be considered a hazard zone. You paused by the fresher to listen for water running but heard nothing, which officially meant Hunter hadn’t been anywhere you checked, Hell, did he jump out of an airlock? Just as you were about to give up, you heard an awful noise come from the fresher. Like a bantha dying in a fire. Did some animal stow away? Absentmindedly you considered getting Wrecker to handle it- the last thing you needed was contracting some planet-specific strain of rabies. But then you considered that in the process, Wrecker would probably destroy the entire bathroom. And then everyone would be without a bathroom for the next two days… and that could get ugly. Then the noise came again, bringing you out of your mental debate. With a heavy sigh, you decided you’d have to check it out yourself. So, after pulling a random tool off your belt, you let the door slide open. To your surprise, Hunter was the first thing you saw, bent at the waist over the vac tube, bracing himself with one shaking arm against the durasteel wall. His helmet was discarded carelessly two feet closer to the entrance, and the enhanced trooper was heaving breaths, looking rather haggard. Almost stupidly the first thing that came out of your mouth was, "Oh my God, did the animal do this to you?" Hunter actually startled, which had never happened before. He was impossible to sneak up on, it was his whole thing. When he did look up at you, he looked confused, among other things. His skin pallor was four shades lighter than it was supposed to be, slightly greenish gray, and dew dropped with sweat. "Animal? What animal?" "The animal that made that-" You cut yourself off suddenly feeling dumb, now lamely dropping your defense tool. Then the disbelief, "Oh my- that noise was you?" He didn’t get the chance to answer again, instead turning his head back towards the vac tube to wretch again. Now with that information, the haggard appearance made more sense. "Hunter… you look like shit." You scolded, hesitantly moving closer, “Like, legitimately corpse like.” The sergeant coughed a bit before throwing you glare, “Thank you, (Y/L/N), that’s very helpful. Did you need something?” Damage reports long forgotten, you ignored the question instead more concerned with the trooper in front of you, “Why the hell are you standing like that? What’s wrong with you? Are you sick?”

Hunter was confused with this sudden line of questioning, turning his head to gag a little bit but this time he kept it under control to answer you, “Clones don’t get sick.”

“So this is normal for you?” You snarked right back, “Here, try kneeling, it won’t take as much of a toll on your body like that.”

At first he didn’t listen to you, just when the ship hit a patch of turbulence it triggered another wave which forced him to a knee. Then it hit you, clones don’t get sick, they’re engineered with near perfect immune systems.

“You’ve never been sick before have you?” You whispered sympathetically, he legitimately didn’t know how to handle being sick. Frowning, worried welled up in your stomach. It was almost painful to watch the man be so sick, after all how many times had he saved you or helped you out of a tight spot, so you looked away until he quieted again. This time he took a minute to catch his breath so you took some liberties.

“First, let’s get your hair off your neck and face. You’ll feel less gross.” You promised, going behind him to gently scrape his long hair into a makeshift bun and tie it off with a spare hair tie.

“What are you doing?”  He croaked, but didn’t pull away from your hands.

“Taking care of you, now shut up and let me.” While your voice was still kind, you were just stern enough not to argue with you, “Now, lean up.”

You didn’t wait for him to follow the orders, instead you started unfastening pieces of armor on his arms before moving on to the chest and torso pieces. Moments later he was able to move a little freer and his armor from the waist up was neatly stacked to you right.

“There, that should help with the overheating.” You announced, not mentioned how he couldn’t bend over properly with a piece of plastoid against his abdomen. You gave him another once over, he was taking deep breaths with his eyes closed, little baby hairs already escaping your rather pitiful man bun situation. You’d never seen him so vulnerable.

“So clones don’t get sick, why are you throwing up like my roommate after her twenty first birthday?” You asked quietly, gently moving the stray bits of his forehead.

“Would you believe that I ate an expired meal ration?” He asked with enough doubt in your voice that you immediately shook your head.

“You’re not that stupid Hunter.”

“I lost a bet with Crosshair and had to eat part of the Yalbec stinger. Tech did say it was a delicacy on some planets.” He sighed, dry heaving again.

“I also remember him saying it was mildly poisonous to humans.” You reminded him, going past him to the shelves that held shower things. Reaching into your own caddy, you produced a rag before wetting it in the sink.

“Yeah, I lost the bet before he enlightened us.” Hunter admitted, visibly relaxing when you put the cold rag on his neck before sliding into a sitting position next to him, “How do you know all this stuff?”

“Well, us normies get sick a lot.” You teased, laughing when you caught the disgusted look on his face, “But, I learned most of this stuff taking care of my hungover friends.”

“Oh, just your friends?” It was Hunter’s turn to sass you, but you just rolled your eyes. The two of you fell into a halfway comfortable silence, so you took your data pad to do a little research on Yalbec poisoning.

“You don’t have to stay for this?” Hunter reminded you, using the back of his hand to wipe sweat off his forehead. When you looked back over to him, he was staring at you. Even when puking, his eyes could stare straight through you. Hurriedly, you dropped your gaze back to your data pad.

“Well, you spend all your time taking care of them,” you motioned up towards the cockpit, “And me. So someone has to look out for you when you need it, you don’t have to suffer alone.”

His eyes softened as he relaxed slightly, you were glad to see his coloring was already getting better. But after a few moments, even the softness of his stare brought a flush to your cheeks so you just cleared your throat, “Well, the good news is that the holonet says someone of your size and weight will be fine. Symptoms should pass within twelve hours at the most, and it’s already been five.”

“Thank you, (Y/N).”

Your head snapped back up, he rarely ever called you by your first name. Somehow it almost felt intimate.

“Of course, Hunter.”

You scooted a little closer so that your knees would touch. Closer than you had ever been to him, but he didn’t scoot away. You smiled at the small contact, shaking your head.

“Can I impart on you a bit of civilian wisdom?” You asked teasingly, not even waiting him to nod. You took the rag off his neck and used it to dab sweat off his forehead, “Don’t eat random things on a dare, especially things you cut off foreign animals.”

“You’re never going to let me live this down, are you?”

“Not a chance.”

Father and son go for a walk

series masterlist

"Hold on to my hand tightly, okay Kiyoshi?" Sakusa looked at his son, bundled up in a fluffly jacket with a small bag strapped across his body,  who nodded excitedly. "Bye uncle!" Kiyoshi waved to the cameraman. He held on to Sakusa's hand as much as his little hand could. Sakusa did his best to walk in Kiyoshi's pace so that he won't get tired. Taking walks has been one of Sakusa's random past times for years now. The calm wind blowing in his face felt peaceful and it was also a good kind of exercise without much effort. He hoped that Kiyoshi would enjoy taking walks as much as he did. "Kiyoshi, do you want some candy?" At the mention of the sugary sweet, Kiyoshi squealed in delight. "Can I, papa? Won't mama get mad?" "She said you're allowed sweets from time to time so, yes. This is okay." Sakusa smiled at his son beneath his mask. You were really adamant on  giving Kiyoshi sweets in the first place but if it's one way of getting his son to like him, one piece of candy won't hurt. Kiyoshi's eyes sparkled in excitement and he walked faster this time, pulling his dad along with him to the nearest convenience store. When they were by the entrance, Kiyoshi let go of Sakusa's hand and tried opening the door himself. Sakusa made sure to spray his hand with the alcohol he brought after pulling the door open to let his son inside. Kiyoshi seemed to already know which candy he wants as he immediately went to the counters and did his best to reach the treat. "Papa, I want this one. Strawberry please." He was on his toes, pointing to the rows of candies. "Okay, but let me clean your hands first." Sakusa sprayed Kiyoshi's hands with alcohol as well and helped rubbed it in his small palms. He plucked a strawberry lollipop from the display and handed it to Kiyoshi. The small boy smiled widely before lifting the lollipop back to his dad. "Please open this for me, papa?" Sakusa smiled and did just that. He put the wrapper inside his pocket to throw away later. He went to one of the aisles and got himself a can of iced coffee. He went to the cashier and paid. While he was doing this, Kiyoshi silently followed him around the store. When Sakusa was done, he offered his hand to Kiyoshi and they headed back out again. They walked for a while before something caught Sakusa's eye in the distance. It was the local playground. Now, as much as possible, he didn't want Kiyoshi to be exposed to a lot of unsanitary things but he could hear your voice in the back of his head. "If you keep him inside, his immune system is going to be super sensitive to everything outside. Kiyoshi's age is vulnerable to getting sick but he needs some of those to build up his strength. I'm here if he ever does get sick, so, don't you worry, okay Omi-kun?" You had compromised with him that day---to let Kiyoshi play around outside for a bit then do the necessary sanitations when you get home. Sakusa was just about to counter that but he trusts you and he knows it himself that he will always be there to protect Kiyoshi no matter what happens. "Do you want to go to the playground?" Sakusa asked the boy.  Kiyoshi replied with a firm 'yes.' They walked for a few more minutes before they finally got to the playground. It wasn't that much crowded so far, with only about four kids playing around. "Guys!" Kiyoshi ran ahead of his father. "Let's have some candy!" He shouted to the kids on the playground. No one seemed to pay him any attention. He looked to the side and spotted a little girl playing on the rocking horse. He instantly approached her offering his lollipop. The little girl just stared at Kiyoshi up close. Kiyoshi flashed her his best smile. Sakusa stayed rooted in his spot---hands pocketed in his jacket---just by the sidewalk, enough to monitor Kiyoshi's whereabouts. "You're wearing a winter jacket." Kiyoshi told the girl. When she didn't respond, Kiyoshi continued. "Do you want some candy?" He held out his lollipop to her. "You can try it three times." She just alternated between staring at Kiyoshi and the lollipop but she didn't respond. Kiyoshi was about to tell her something when she spotted another kid---an older girl this time---and he walked up to her to offer his candy. "Do you want some?" The older girl smiled sheepishly before shaking her head from side to side. Feeling a little flustered, she walked away from Kiyoshi without another word. Kiyoshi looked around, confused as to why his friends don't want any candy. He shrugged the thought away and went to go up the slide. When he reached the top of the slides he jumped around in excitement. Some of the other kids passed by him which Kiyoshi didn't mind much. Seeing one of the older kids slide down, he decided try it out himself. This was actually his first time going down a slide this big. Sakusa worried by the sidelines, so he took a few steps closer just in case Kiyoshi gets scared. To his surprise, his son didn't even ask for help from him or any of the other children. Kiyoshi just sat on one of the slides and pushed off. Just as his feet touched the ground, Kiyoshi glanced at his papa and smiled widely. Sakusa smiled as well, giving him a thumbs up. One of the cameramen set up a small camera just by the end of the slide to capture Kiyoshi going down. The boy noticed and kicked the small gadget like it was  a ball. Sakusa was quick to retrieve it. "Kiyoshi." He looked at his dad. "You're not supposed to kick this, okay?" Kiyoshi thought that he was going to be scolded so, he just smiled cheekily at his father, hoping to get away with it. Just as Sakusa was about to remind him again, Kiyoshi's attention was already elsewhere. "Look! There's a dog!"  He ran up to the golden pomeranian whose owner was busy on a call. They passed through the playground which caught the attention of most of the children there. Sakusa shook his head, amused at Kiyoshi’s bravery. "I'm gonna catch you!" Kiyoshi squealed. The owner of the dog noticed the kids crowding up to her so she halted in her steps to let the kids play for a bit. Kiyoshi was the bravest of them all as he stood in front of the dog and started shouting at it. The dog just looked at Kiyoshi silently. He started barking at the dog as well. "Kiyoshi," Sakusa crouched beside him. He doesn't like dogs just because he thinks they're not clean and their fur makes him itch. But he knows that Kiyoshi is fond of dogs. As much as he wants his son to just ignore the small animal, he can't. "If you keep shouting, the dog will get angry. Try petting him." Kiyoshi cautiously neared the dog and placed his hands on its fur. He patted the dog who, to Sakusa's relief, stood still and didn't pounce on Kiyoshi. Soon the other kids followed suit and took turns patting the animal. "Do you want to play on the swing?" Sakusa held out his hand. "Yes!" Kiyoshi held on to his father as he let himself be guided towards the swing set. Sakusa felt relief wash over him because the more Kiyoshi brushed the pomeranian's fur, the more his spine tingled in anxiety. Before getting on the swings, he sprayed alcohol on Kiyoshi's hands which the little boy did't mind. Sakusa helped Kiyoshi on to the swing and pushed him lightly.  Kiyoshi wriggled his legs in excitement and cheered in delight. "Let's swing together!" Kiyoshi told the older girl he met earlier who was also on the other swing with her mother. The girl still ignored Kiyoshi with a blushing face. "Look at me!" "Excuse me," the mother interrupted. "Aren't you Sakusa Kiyoomi from the MSBY  Black Jackals?" Sakusa looked at the woman before nodding his head and mumbling a soft ‘yes.’ He felt a ittle bit embarassed about being recognized outside, especially in a playground with his son but he knows, with the number of games that the Jackals have been wining recently, they were bound to be recognized one way or another. "Me and my husband are huge fans." She gushed. Sakusa did his best to smile in acknowledgement beneath his mask. He bowed slightly to her and murmured a soft 'thank you.' "Your son is cute." Kiyoshi just watched this short interaction. He has never seen his father talk  with other people other than those who deliver food to their house sometimes, or his grandparents. He was amazed that his dad can make other people smile, like he does with him and you. "Papa, I want to stop now." Sakusa held the swing so that Kiyoshi could hop off. "Do you want to go on the slides with me?" He asked. Kiyoshi started wandering around the playground and forcing himself into the small groups that formed. He ignored his dad in favor of playing with the other kids. Sakusa was trying his best to gain Kiyoshi's favor but he was invisible as long as there were other kids around. So, he resumed his position by the playground entrance, still keeping an eye on his boy. Kiyoshi approached a group of older boys playing by the monkey bars. He asked them to play with them but the other boys just stared at him. They ignored Kiyoshi and went to the other side of the playground. Kiyoshi didn't give up though. He followed the boys wherever they went, still asking them to play with him. He wasn't successful with them so when he saw a older brother and a little sister pair just arriving, he quickly approached them. "Play with me!" Kiyoshi stated. The siblings just stared at him as well. Kiyoshi saw that they were holding hands so, he held out his. "Hold my hand too!" The older boy was hesitant, but he took his hand whilst holding his sister's in another. The trio walked around the playground before wandering off to the nearby park. Kiyoshi suddenly had an idea of looking for ants and beetles. When Sakusa heard this he wanted to take Kiyoshi home, but then he knows that his son will just hate him for not letting him play with his friends. So he did the only thing he could do---watch. He made sure that Kiyoshi wouldn't touch anything extraordinarily dirty or worse, put it in his mouth. The outside hittter shadowed over the three children as they picked up random sticks and dried leaves while stuffing them into a small hole the older boy dug up. Kiyoshi also pretended to bang on a wall so that 'the ants will turn into bees.' After a while they wandered around, with Kiyoshi leading the way, before getting lost. Good thing Sakusa was around and he pointed them back to the direction of the playground. But children were easily distracted. When they saw a tree, Kiyoshi suddenly stated that it was an ant kingdom that they needed to destroy. They started banging on the tree trunk with their sticks; their laughs echoing throughout the air. Sakusa found it amusing how vast a child's imagination can be. His phone started ringing inside his jean pocket. Walking a little bit farther to the side, he answered the call. "Miya." "Omi-omi, where are ya?" "Why do you need to know?" "There's an emergency team meeting." Atsumu stated. "I sent ya a text." "What's the problem?" Sakusa groaned. "Coach said something about the next match. There was a mix-up or something." Sakusa cursed under his breath. "Okay. I'll head there now." He hung up the phone and proceeded to call Kiyoshi's babysitter. You both had hired her for the times both you and Kiyoomi are called in for work. "Sakusa-san?" "Remi. I apologize for the sudden call. Are you able to take in Kiyoshi for a while? I just need to attend an emergency meeting at work." "I'm so sorry Sakusa-san, but I am meeting with relatives today." "I see. It's alright. Thank you." When he ended the call, he scrolled through his contacts list to see who could take Kiyoshi for just a few hours. He saw Komori's number and decided to dial it "Motoya." "Kiyoomi!" His cousin greeted cheerfully. "I need someone to look after Kiyoshi for just a few hours. I just have to attend an emergency meeting." "As much as I want to, I'm actually in Osaka right now. " "Aah." Sakusa suddenly ransacked his brain for other people he he can entrust Kiyoshi to. He remained silent before Komori interrupted him. "Why not just take Kiyoshi with you? He's an obedient kid. I'm sure he won't put you in any trouble." "And have him meet my chaotic teammates? No way." Komori laughed at  his cousin. Some things never do change. "Suit yourself." --- Sakusa hates how Komori was right. He couldn't find a last minute babysitter so he has no choice but to bring Kiyoshi with him. They returned home to clean themselves up a bit and fetch their car. Sakusa helped Kiyoshi to his car seat before they drove off to the Japan Volleyball Association Head Office. Kiyoshi fell asleep on the whole ride there. Just before entering the room where the whole team was, he knelt to Kiyoshi's height.  "Kiyoshi, I have to talk to some people about important things," Sakusa started, holding on to his son's hand, "You have to stay quiet, okay? You have to behave." Despite being very sociable, whenever you or Sakusa tell Kiyoshi beforehand that he needs to behave, he knows that it's something important and he doesn't want his parents to be upset. Sakura pushed open one of the doors and almost everyone turned to greet him. "I apologize for being late." Sakusa bowed his head. "I also have my son with me. I couldn't find a babysitter in time and my wife is away. He promises to be quiet." Kiyoshi stared up at all the adults in the room, some were wearing formal suits while the rest of the team wore so,ething casual. They were all strangers to him. "Eh? Kiyoshi is already that big?" Atsumu piped up from one side of the long table. "Has it really been three years?" "Omi-kun! He looks just like you!" Hinata was the first to approach Kiyoshi, opening up his palm towards the child. "Can I get a high-five Kiyoshi-kun?" Kiyoshi did not hesitate to slap his smaller palm against the redhead's. Sakusa flinched at the contact. He knows he would have to give a full bath to Kiyoshi when they get home. "Please take a seat Sakusa-san. We'll be starting soon." One of the MSBY representatives said. Sakusa sat beside Atsumu---which was the only available seat left. To keep Kiyoshi occupied, he gave him a piece of paper and a pencil to draw with that he asked one of the secretaries nearby. The meeting continued smoothly. Kiyoshi did well and was silent the whole time. He kept drawing his favorite animals on his paper whilst sitting on his father's lap. He sometimes took Sakusa's hand, and traced around it, making it look like his favorite dinosaur after adding eyes, a mouth and some scales. Kiyoshi would nudge his dad to show his masterpiece to which Sakusa would reply with a pat on Kiyoshi's head added with a feather-like kiss.  The emergency meeting took about an hour and a half. Just as they were wrapping up,  Atsumu's attention was on Kiyoshi. The faux blond wanted to impress the boy with his artistic skills. Whatever animal Kiyoshi wanted to see, Atsumu would draw it. "Can you draw a snake?" "That's easy." Atsumu drew on the corner of the paper. When Kiyoshi, inspected the drawing, he shook his head. "That's not a snake." "What are ya talkin' about? It is a snake!" "That's a worm." "Ya wound me, Kiyoshi-kun!" Atsumu fake gasped which made Kiyoshi laugh. Suddenly, an idea popped into his head. "Hey Omi-kun, let's have a play date. My Katsumi is almost the same age as Kiyoshi so—" "No." "That's great! My babies could join too!" Bokuto added. "Wait, I—" Sakusa was interrupted once more. "Hey, that's actually a neat idea." Barnes, who was watching them, piped up from his seat. He looked to their captain sat beside him. "What do you think, Shugo?" The captain of the Jackals pondered on the idea, pursing his lips. "That's actually not bad. Like a family day for the team, right?" Sakusa sighed. He's probably not going to get out of what's about to happen.

---

tags: @plump-peach​ / @keijikunn​

04.19.2021

Savathun's Trip to the Last City

Now that we have a clearer picture of what’s going on with Savathun I decided to compile the last year’s worth of her POV lore pieces together.

This is super long, and has spoilers for Path of the Splicer VI / Beneath the Endless Night VII, so I’m putting it under a cut.

Credit to @xivuuarath for reading through this and adding some of their ideas! We talked about more beyond what’s posted here, but this is getting long, so maybe that would be better saved for a part two.

1. Traveler's Chosen (Season of Arrivals)

This piece is told from the POV of a narrator viewing the events through an "ossific den". Based on later lore pieces, I'm certain the narrator is Savathun. Given that ahamkara bones have been compromised by her, and that Shaxx has an ahamkara skull slung up in his station, it’s safe to assume this is Sav’s vantage point.

That said, I don't believe Savathun is observing Shaxx, but rather Zavala, struggling in the wake of the Darkness' encroachment on the system and his colleagues' refusals to evacuate to safety. She seems pleased to find Zavala in a desperate state, and watches as he has a silent conversation with the Traveler. Of note is that she's waiting for it to respond.

He waits for a response and I do as well, tense, curious. [ . . . ] It is no time at all for me, but for him, the hours creep by in silence.

I am ready to choke the voice of his Traveler if it answers him, but there is nothing.

2. Harbinger Mission (Season of the Hunt)

Thank you to @xivuuarath​ for pointing this out since I didn’t include it the first time around. During the Harbinger mission Savathun’s forces are attempting to secure a Shard of the Traveler in the EDZ. Of note is that they aren’t trying to destroy it, but rather siphon the Light from it.

Given that the Shard of the Traveler is what allowed our Guardian to jumpstart their Light when they lost it during the Red War, and is what allowed Uldren Sov to break into the Dreaming City during the events of Forsaken, we can assume it’s useful to lightbearers and mortals alike. Make note of this, because it becomes potentially relevant later on.

2.5. Hawkmoon (Season of the Hunt)

From an unknown vantage point, Savathun watches The Guardian and Crow celebrate their defeat of her Taken at the Shard of the Traveler. Unlike Zavala, she can find no weak points in Crow or the Guardian, only happiness. This awakens something in her.

What is this feeling? I did not ask for it. I do not understand it. I do not want it.

Which gets repeated throughout the lore piece. This is our first glimpse of Savathun having feelings that don't fall into the range of "malevolence" or "plotting". She yearns for her youth with her siblings and the warmth of her old life, and feels burgeoning regret for the people she betrayed.

There is a growing kinship here. Against better judgment.

This is ambiguous enough to be a comment on Crow’s and The Guardian’s relationship, or herself and The Guardian and/or Crow. She's called us her friend before but this might be the first time she's actually had friendly feelings for us.

3. Books of Sorrow: New Verse (Season of the Hunt)

This hasn't actually been posted on Ishtar Collective and I'm too lazy to track down a transcript online, so pardon the source. There's a lot to unpack here.

I walk in a city made of delicate hopes.

Savathun has moved beyond occupying ahamkara bones and is actually physically present.

I hear my name everywhere. [. . .] The sound is nourishment.

Imbaru machine on-line?

I am more than I ever was, and less than I will ever be.

Make note of this line.

I am many and none. I'm a man who sits alone in a cavernous office counting my failures. I'm a woman looking at a silent god. I'm a lost soul on a cold moon. I'm a broken mirror of a man who tries to steer the ship.

Comparing (?) herself to Zavala, Ikora, Eris, and back to Zavala again?

I'm a familiar stranger, flitting between them all, hiding my face.

Again, I think she's speaking literally here.

The people here are small krill dwarfed by the enormity of oblivion.

A neat little comparison of humanity with the krill, who we established in her last appearance she's beginning to feel regret for.

4. Retrofuturist (Season of the Chosen)

Savathun watches a Crucible match, and judges Guardians for being reckless with the gift of immortality. The tone of this piece reinforces the idea she is actually out and about in a corporeal form.

I'm mostly interested in her perspective on Ghosts here. She calls them "A perfect being", and describes their ability to revive the dead as miraculous. She isn't happy that the spectators don't appreciate the gravity of this. Weird sentiment for a hive but ok.

I look up into the blank white face. I feel its Light on my cheeks. It no longer burns me.

The Hive are repelled by the Light. Savathun has grown to tolerate it. Something has changed in her metaphysical composition.

@xivuuarath​ made the excellent observation that she might have been at least partially successful in the Harbinger mission - that she may have secured enough Light to build up an immunity, allowing her to be physically present in the City without being hurt by the Traveler.

Each revival is a choice. I know what to do.

Tuck this away for a moment.

5. Beneath the Endless Night: VII - Ripe (Season of the Splicer)

Okay this whole page is insane so excuse the massive infodump here.

I walk through the City on broken legs. I am conspicuous, but the people here grant me many affordances. I chose this form well.

Confirmation that our girl is actually bumping about in a human-form.

I open my eyes and search the faces of the people around me for familiarity. I did not mean to. I twist inwardly with disgust.

She's sympathizing with the humans of the City. She does not like this, but she is!

When they first reached for me, I reached back in acid mockery, and they opened themselves to me in stupid, naked innocence. I was giddy. My fingers raked their minds. I forced my will through them using only words and met no resistance.

Now I reach as often as they do, and when they reach back, I am thankful. I speak with them. I seek their company. Their companionship.

In case it wasn’t obvious already, Savathun has been running a psy-op on the residents of the Last City, which may explain some of the particularly erratic and troubling behavior from individuals / groups this season.

However the interesting thing is, while Sav used her powers of suggestion to manipulate, the humans unknowingly manipulated her in return. Not through any magic - simply through their kindness.

Savathun is doing more than observing the people of the Last City, she is living with them, getting to know them. Savathun is making friends and it’s literally changing her.

This is not pity, for I know pity. What is this—

A call back to the Hawkmoon lore with her trying to make sense of budding positive feelings.

I clench the gangling black mass that threatens to unspool recklessly from within this shell of flesh. My new arms are too thin, too weak. My new shell still bound with thick mucus. Not yet, I say.

I suspect that the “new shell” she talks about here is not her human-form, but rather something else growing inside it.

A man places his hands on me, on my shoulders, on my back. He asks if I am ill, and he sees my flat eyes, my teeth black with ripeness, and he prepares to scream. I let him keep his mind. I push breath up and through my ruined mouth and speak a simple lie. He stops, smiles, laughs. Shakes his head. He points a finger at me in mocking admonishment before walking away.

A few things to unpack here.

Savathun is physically deteriorating... badly. @xivuuarath pointed out that the body horror of this particular scene mirrors the Emissary’s description of a world with no darkness and creatures that are incapable of death even as they physically fall apart, and if you follow that line of thinking you may infer that she’s forcing herself to live through light alone.

She's approachable enough that some rando would see her in trouble and want to help her, reinforcing the point that she's been wandering about the City and vibing with its residents.

She could have done worse to the good samaritan but chooses not to. She does her mind trick and lets him go about his business. She’s showing mercy... which is something we know the hive absolutely must not do at the risk of being consumed by their worm.

Even here, basted in deception both ample and rich, the Worm cries ravenously. It has grown grotesque, skin taut, overfed, and still it howls for more. It commands me to keep it alive.

I look up, beyond the flickering net of darkness, and see what rests just beyond. Waiting for me. The Worm roars.

NOT DISCONCERTINGLY AMBIGUOUS AT ALL that we don't know if the worm is roaring in terror, pleading or triumph.

TL;DR of what I think is going on.

Savathun came to the City to destabilize it through manipulation, but could not be physically present until she hardened herself to the Light. Camouflaging herself in a human form, she spent time with the residents of the City, and found herself manipulated in return by their kindness. She's resisting the positive emotions, but they're there, which is something we've never seen between hive and humans before. You can't have a crisis of conscience if you don't have a conscience, and Savathun does.

I think Savathun is trying to shed her current form and be reborn in some capacity. I think she's going to try to use the Light to rid herself of the Worm and bootstrap herself into something new. If you'd asked me before reading this lore, I would have insisted that she wanted to become a thought-entity, but the cocoon-like imagery makes me second-guess this assumption.

There are outstanding questions at this point.

Why did she want to prevent Eris and/or The Guardian from communicating with the Darkness in Season of Arrivals? Is there a purpose to the Endless Night beyond eroding willpower and sowing division? Is she trying to save only herself, or attempt to undo the millennia-old injustice she inflicted on her people?

The cordyceps ‘vaccine’ in the Last of Us is bullcrap

I know this is just a game and maybe the science and medical advancement in the game is different from the real world, but if we apply what we know in real life about infectious diseases and preventative medicine in real life, the Fireflies probably wouldn’t be able to make a ‘vaccine’ and would have killed Ellie and destroyed the possibility of a cure for nothing. Here’s why:

1. In the real world, we do not have vaccines for fungal infection. Firstly, because fungal infection are super rare and mostly only affect those with compromised immunity. Secondly, anti-fungal medications are usually very effective against fungal infection so the medical field was never pushed to develop a vaccine for any fungal infections. I’m not saying that developing a vaccine for fungal diseases is impossible, but right now we don’t have any successful fungal vaccine and I highly doubt that in a post-apocalyptic world, this ONE doctor with insufficient equipment would be able to make a vaccine out of Ellie’s sample.

2. A vaccine prevents someone from developing disease after contracting the pathogen, it has no effect on people who already contracted the fungus and developed disease. So it is not a ‘cure’.

3. To make a vaccine, you use a weakened version of the pathogen, or a similar pathogen that does not cause disease in your target species. If they want to make a vaccine for the cordyceps fungus, they could have easily used fungal sample from the infected and engineer a vaccine from it. They didn’t have to kill Ellie for it.

4. In the game, Ellie was unconscious before she entered the Fireflies hospital and remained unconscious throughout the entire time she was there. So, either all the tests and decisions happened in a very short time or they kept her under with anaesthetic drugs. But since Joel was there as well and he woke up to them telling him they are going to kill Ellie, I would say they made a decision to kill ellie in a very short time. The problem is, they only had her for such a short time and they obviously have not studied Ellie before they got her, how in the world could they possibly figure out what makes Ellie immune so quickly?!

5. In the game, they claimed that the reason Ellie is immune is because the fungus has mutated inside of her. But really, there is no way the doctor would know the fungus has mutated unless he got a sample of the fungus. In the game it looked like all they have was an MRI scan. Just using imaging is NOT sufficient to identify a mutation, you would need to look at the sample microscopically and DNA test it. If that doctor somehow got his hand on some of the fungal samples from Ellie and found a mutation, why would he need to cut her brain open? That make absolutely no sense?!

6. They can’t prove the reason that Ellie is immune due to a mutated fungus. To prove the theory, they would need to inoculate the mutated pathogen in a test subject (usually would start with a petri dish of target cells, and then a lab animal) and look for changes. They obviously haven’t done it so how can they be so sure about this and would bet the life of a teenage girl on it?

7. To make a cure, killing Ellie is the VERY LAST thing they should do. Hell, it shouldn’t even be on a list. If they want to make a cure, the VERY FIRST thing they should have done is take her blood and test her plasma. The plasma of our blood contains antibodies, the thing that fights off infections. If I’m the doctor/scientist, knowing Ellie is immune, her plasma is the first thing that I would look at. Because if someone is immune to a disease, that means their body has developed effective antibodies against said infection, and these antibodies will remain in their circulation for some time, and even if the level isn’t enough, upon reintroduction of the pathogen, her antibodies level would skyrocket. Using her plasma, they can potentially treat people after they have been exposed to the fungus. But yea, her plasma would be the cure so killing her is stupid.

8. In this vast population of humans, it is highly impossible that Ellie is the only one who is immune.

I know this is just a game but I’m way too emotionally invested in this. And the fact that they made it sounds like Abby’s father was going to develop a cure and that he is a saint, is absolute bullcrap. He was going to kill an innocent girl and the last hope for a cure for NOTHING. Joel did the right thing by saving her.

hoping someone else will jump on this train w me lol. more tsunade + jiraiya!!! still shippuden era ish. it’s just super general fluff so there’s no real plot

distant | weed | fuss | struggle | couple | professional | remember | nap | abundant | objective | wrong | discreet | gift | stay | collapse | cabin | practical | defend | haunt | indoor | rhythm | ankle | incentive | healthy | steam | anger | bond | text | correction | visible | guess | cinema | maze | contrary | observer | nuance | neglect | lip | reflection | sniff | authority | illusion | echo | medicine | lace | insurance | knit | dealer | grudge | affair | sofa | expertise | passion | spill | laundry | exposure | shelter | privilege | manner | relax | compromise | sacred | doubt | philosophy | thaw | ticket | bike | bench | vain | bed | improvement | pier | gravity | immune | vigorous | productive | reception | veil | bee | train | harsh | loyalty | fresh | late | mind | highway | sound | frozen | annual | soup | instinct | groan | lonely | spite | bill | crude | dare | magazine | mess | ignore | sketch | flush | liability | camp | brag | sour | compensation

***

prompt(s): fuss

***

“Hh’KNNT!” 

Jiraiya had his ear glued to the door of Tsunade’s office. Like Shizune told him, she sounded awful. He took a breath. 

“Tsunade, I’m coming in,” Jiraiya announced, swinging the door open. 

She jumped, startled, and knocked over a cup of tea with her elbow. “Goddammit.” 

By the time Tsunade stood up, Jiraiya was already mopping up the liquid with the edge of his kimono. “Sorry, sorry,” he chuckled, feeling heat rise to his cheeks. “Didn’t mean to startle you.” 

Tsunade waved him off before sneezing into a cupped hand. “H-hihH! Hh’TSHHT!” 

When she turned to face him again, her red eyes were watering. She barely had time to pinch her nostrils shut before pitching into another sneeze. “Ah’GNTT!”

Jiraiya winced at the sound. “You shouldn’t hold them in like that you know.” 

Tsunade scrubbed her nose with her wrist, rolling her eyes. “Did Shizune send you in here?”

“No, no, of course not,” he said, shuffling his feet. “I just wanted to see...” 

Shit. He was caught. “I just wanted to see if you wanted to get some ramen.” 

She returned to her desk, now tea-free, and began sorting through some of the paperwork at hand. “Ramen?”

He shrugged. “What can I say? Paying for all Naruto’s meals has really given me a taste for Ichiraku. Besides, you look like you could use a hot meal.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jiraiya studied her watery eyes, the tired bags beneath them, and her pink nose. Even like this, she was beautiful. 

“You can’t just pretend that you’re well when you’re not.”

“I’m perfectly fine,” she said, rubbing at the tip of her nose. 

“I heard you sneezing down the hall.” 

Tsunade laughed dryly. “You did not. You were right outside the door.” 

“Was there anything else you wanted to talk to me about?” She dabbed at her running nose with a handkerchief, silently urging him to leave. 

“I don’t appreciate that dismissive tone of yours,” Jiraiya said, reaching across her desk to feel her forehead. She grabbed his wrist with her free hand, but he’d already felt the heat rising from her skin. 

“Tsunade.”

“Oh, don’t fuss over me, Jiraiya.” This was punctuated by a very liquidy sniffle, followed by a shuffling of papers. “It’s a cold. It’s nothing— hihH!” Her voice caught and Jiraiya watched her ample bosom heave as she fought the sneeze. 

“H-hehh... hih...” She fanned her face with her free hand to coax it out. “Huh’PTSHHH!”

“Get up,” Jiraiya said, more sternly than he’d spoken to her in awhile. “I’m walking you home, at least.” 

She sighed heavily and let him guide her toward the door. “Since when were you the gentleman?” 

“Oh, I’m always the gentleman,” he assured her. “Clearly you haven’t read any of my books.” 

***

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