#I’m not a very conventional writer so idk how much it will help | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

orchidyoonkook · 3 months

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Do you have any tips for new writers/accounts to get popular???

Hello!!!!!

SO:

I was a shit writer for a very long time cuz I never wrote. But one day I wanted to change that so at 19 I made up a story and wrote down all my plot points and then did a DEEP DIVE on Pinterest of all things collecting every bit of advice I could. I’m talking ideas, how to do this, how to not use the word said, how to start sentences. How sentences should flow and their lengths, big uncommon words. EVERYTHING.

Anything and everything I could get my hands on.

And on top of that I’ve been a reader for forever. I have so many books I don’t even know how many I have. And so I use that knowledge when editing. I don’t read it from a writing POV after I write it. I turn into a reader and think about how I would feel about it from a readers POV and if something doesn’t work. I fix it.

I have a small background in script writing from my college days which definitely helped a bit. But if you’ve ever studied script writing you know it doesn’t really help creative writing outside of structure.

And when I write I’m someone who writes until I think the story is done. Not the arc. Not the characters. But the overall story of what I’m trying to portray. I don’t actively think about putting the climax of the story here or some foreshadowing there. I write intuitively if that makes sense. I try to sense out what feels right. And some of that comes naturally, some of it doesn’t and I have to work on it.

Me and @violetsiren90 were actually talking roughly about this last night. Our differences in how we write and how my advice from her last fic that I edited had already helped her with her new one cuz she can now see all of the little things that I pick up on from my style of writing versus the times where she tells me why she writes in that specific way and why she will be keeping it as is. Vi if you wanna add anything in the comments I’m forgetting, by all means feel free.

Most writers will tell you to practice. To tell you to write something even if it’s just a sentence everyday. But that didn’t help me. The stuff on my blog are the very first things I’ve written for myself ever. I didn’t write in highschool or college outside of what I was forced to write and my one story that the Pinterest board was initially for.

For me it was about researching style and reading posts like these from other writers, being confident in your style and learning what rules to break and when to break them. It was about reading over your work a hundred times and to be impartial when you read so you can fix the mistakes that won’t work.

The benefit of writing is you can go over something you’ve written a hundred times until you think it’s ready. A thousand times. I can go back and rewrite that first story if I want too. Nothing can stop me.

But don’t get me wrong. I go back and read all my works on here from time to time and I still constantly find things I would change now. Word changes. Phrasing changes. Everything. But that’s just another sign of improvement. Writing is a constantly improving art form. There is no limit. Only growth.

And the last thing I do is write down everything. I have a TERRIBLE memory. So I write down every single idea. On a scrap piece of paper. In my phone. On a computer. In a notebook. Cuz you never know when you’ll use it.

My most recent story, The Devil Wears Valentino, I got the idea for that name sometime in the immediate aftermath of Valentino Yoongi. I was in the shower after watching the devil wears Prada and my mind just connected the two. And then it sat unused in my notes all until the week before Halloween 2023. I would’ve forgotten had I not written it down. But there it was right when I needed it, a gift from past me. And here we are.

As for popularity, dude I have no goddamn idea. I don’t even think I count as a popular/big blog. I utilize the HELL out of aesthetics, formatting and tags and I’m nice. That’s my spiel on that. Aesthetic. Format. Tag. Kindness. Talent, sure. I guess. But writing is one of those things, ESPECIALLY in fic, where it doesn’t have to be the best cuz folks just wanna read their comfort character or person in the same scenarios over and over again. Source: I do that. And I’ve read stories that don’t have the best writing. But the story was good, or vice versa. People are way more forgiving on here.

I didn’t come on here(tumblr) with the intention of writing let alone giving writing and popularity advice. I just wanted to read and support people and then the community I’ve built for myself has just grown and grown and I’ve been so incredibly fortunate, which is where kindness comes in.

Leave reviews and like and reblog stuff. Tell people how much you love their work. Let them know you write too. Create friendships with people who wanna support you. And people who you wanna support. Community is the base of everything.

#this was WAAAAAAAAYYYYY to long but I hope it helps #I’m not a very conventional writer so idk how much it will help #Yoon on writing #asks #anon #ms.mailbox 📬#writing #writing advice

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obi-nob-kenobi · 2 years

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Fandom AU || Obikin

Original thread on twitter

Hello_There_Ben is an (in)famous ao3 writer. The king of Dead Dove for a popular fandom. Hes been friends with artist Darth_Vader for years on tumblr. After 5 years they meet in person at a convention, seeing each other for the first time. And fall in love.

Hello_There_Ben Aka Obi-Wan Kenobi is a corporate lawyer. But since he was a teenager he’s been writing fics and posting them on every site you can think of until finally settling on ao3. Though he knew his fics aren't for everyone, to his surprise he’s gifted with art!

Darth_Vader aka Anakin Skywalker is a recent engineering masters student graduate, but back in undergrad he would stress draw. One day he got curious and went into the DDDNE tag of his favorite show, and came across Hello_Ben's fic and HAD to draw for him.

aka a very self indulgent AU but also an obikin meet cute

After they began talking. A lot. Ben gave him tips on surviving College (it's been a while for me but you'll get through it) just as Vader stayed up and talked with him during Ben's divorce (I'm so sorry, seriously what can I do for you?) But they never saw each other's pictures.

That is until Anime Coruscant comes into town, just a 20 min bus ride from Obi-Wan's townhouse. Vader messages him that he has an artist table at the con and maybe they can finally meet up. Obi-Wan used to go to that con, stopped when it got too big, but bought his ticket.

And the day of the con the nerves set in. He's finally gonna meet his online friend for the first time. Is he gonna get weirded out he's older (even tho he's never hidden his age, just had 30+ in his bio)? And when he finds Vader's table he's met with the most gorgeous man.

Which only makes him EXTRA nervous. Obi-Wan is in a casual-ish cosplay of their fandom (idk maybe he writes thorki or Hannigram) and he's getting self conscious of how he looks. He also has some coffee and pastries as a snack for Vader as a "hi glad to meet you" offering.

He approaches his table just as Vader finishes a purchase with a customer. He looks at Obi-Wan with his gorgeous blue eyes and handsome smile and Obi-Wan chokes on his tongue as he just spurts out "hello there" And Vader recognizes him immediately "Ben??"

Vader reaches over for him across his table. Almost knocking over his own display in an attempt to hug him "it's so good to meet you!!" And then Vader drags him over to his side of the table, and oh Vader is taller than him. Tall and handsome and full of sunshine.

Vader sells mostly prints of his work seen all over tumblr and Instagram. He also has cute stickers and buttons related to fanfic stuff (friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, Dead Dove etc) and he's getting a good amount of sales! But now all his attention is on Obi-Wan.

"Thank you for coming, I didn't expect you so soon. How's the con? Did you get anything yet?" Vader talks excitedly, already out of breath when he finally asks "oh, I didn't even ask if Ben is okay to call you by. You can call me Ani, or Anakin." A beautiful name for him.

Obi-Wan manages to get his own name out and Anakin's smile is so bright now learning it "Obi-Wan? That's such a cool name!! Why go by Ben?" It was a nickname growing up, but also more anonymous since he's a lawyer. Don't need clients to find his ao3 and tangle it with his work.

So the con goes well, Obi-Wan stays with anakin and helps him with his table. After they eat at Denny's just to talk more and it's really like talking to an old friend. Despite their age difference and distance everything they do is comfortable. Anakin has to get To his hotel soon and pass out. He explained he actually drove 8hrs to the con the morning of set up so he's exhausted and its catching up on him. Obi-Wan walks with him to his hotel... only there's a party going on. And Anakin isn't sure where he can sleep.

He didn't know anyone else coming to the con, but he saw someone said they had room for one more to help pay and he took it, since the cost would be much less than a hotel by himself. But the host of the room had other people over. "Absolutely not, you're staying with me"

And Anakin looks at him, shocked but grateful "Are you sure? I don't want to inconvenience you." "Do you want to sleep on the floor? Come on" So taking Anakin's car they go to Obi-Wan's house. And he's already dotting on Anakin, giving him a fresh towel and--

Offering snacks but Anakin laughs saying this was more than enough and he owes Obi-Wan a lot. Obi-Wan jokingly says to join him for dinner again tomorrow night, and Anakin replies "Thai or sushi?"

"Thai"

"Its a date" and then disappears into the shower and Obi-wan is FUCKED

TBC

#obikin #aniobi #anaobi #obiani #obi-wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #obikin au #fic prompt #hazel rambles obikin #fandom au #dead dove do not eat #meet cute #literally just obi-wan and anakin meeting as fandom nerds

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herorps · 3 years

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Hey flo do you have a guide to naming Chinese characters?? So I can be ethnically correct !

i apologize for how late this is. i’ve had a very busy work day and i’m only now getting some downtime to sit down and answer this the way i want to answer this. i want to start off by saying that i am chinese-american and that what i say and how i name my chinese characters is based on my personal experiences in my community growing up and what i’ve gathered through long-sought out research and diaspora twitter.

i also want to say that of course your ethnically chinese character can have an western name, it’s very common that we do, especially in modern times and in immigrant spaces, however i think we should be able to normalize using ethnic names. also unless you are adopted ( see: leah lewis ), in my experience you 100% have a chinese name on top of having a ‘western’ name, so if you want to give your character a western name it’d be accurate to give them a chinese name as well ( see: natasha liu bordizzo/liu chengyu ).

if you find this guide helpful, please like and reblog the post, validate me and if you have any questions/corrections/add ons please let me know!

i would have you start off by reading this really helpful guide. it’s a little long winded and you don’t have to read all of it but they do a great job with describing the different romanizations of names and how they’re different across different dialects/regions. you need to first decide what context your character exists in, whether they’re from beijing or taipei or hong kong, their full name is going to be spelled differently based on what background you want to give them.

my mother’s surname is actually a great example of this. her surname is 湯 which in mandarin chinese is pronounced “tang” but because my mother’s family is originally taishanese, her last name is romanized “hong” everywhere that uses an english spelling. alternatively, if my mother’s family changed their romanization when they moved to hong kong, where they speak cantonese, her last name would have been romanized as “tong”.

another example of this is chou tzuyu. because she from taiwan, the romanization of her name is chou tzu yu but if her family was from, like, shanghai her name would be romanized zhou zi yu. same chinese characters ( 周子瑜 ), but because they are pronounced differently across different languages and because she is taiwanese, the romanizations are different.

so after you’ve decided what romanization you want to give them, the next step is to actually choose a name. i personally begin with the given name with all of my characters because i like attaching a meaning to the given name over the surname. and also surnames are pretty easy to find/figure out.

here is a guide that discusses a little bit about naming conventions in china, particularly about gendered names. i really like what tangelotime had to say about the fact that gender doesn’t really matter when it comes to naming because, in my opinion and experience, it doesn’t. i would say that what would be “gendered” is possibly the way a name sounds. idk how to explain this but there are some names that sound “girly” but more in the sense that it’s like girly vs. butch. and i can’t think of a good example of this so you’re just gonna have to ... idk go with your gut. but for the most part, chinese names are gender neutral.

what tangelotime also said about how giving a chinese name is intense is absolutely true because there are so many things that parents may consider including chinese zodiac and fengshui and radicals in a certain character and what it means---it’s a sport that i do not have the effort for nor the intelligence to properly explain. however, i think the guides that i’ve linked so far do a good job in explaining that in a way that i cannot. here is another extensive guide, but this one discusses historical contexts ( for all u historical rpers heh ) and more importantly imo, the list of themes that a parent might take in creating a name.

8/6/21 edit: i came across these pictographs of characters from mdzs that analyze the etymology by the radical that gives you a lot of insight to possible name meanings and to the written chinese language.

additionally, here is a video by avenue x, an amazing creator on youtube who reviews c dramas and gives a lot of in depth cultural context for some of the shows she watches, that explains the names of characters from word of honor and gives the poetry references that the writers may have used.

so if you’ve taken a look all the guides i’ve given you, good on you, i really appreciate you putting in all the work. now let me give you some examples of how different things may be taken into consideration when giving a chinese name.

my given name is 安儀, romanized “on yee” because my family speaks cantonese. the first character means “safe” while the second character means “appearance,” so together my name means “safe appearance”. but, my mom also took into consideration the radicals of the characters as well. the first character looks like it has a hat or a roof on it right? that is intentional. the character underneath the hat is the character/radical for girl, so my mom wanted to make sure that her daughter had something over her that would protect her. hence why she chose the character 安. the second character in my given name consists of primarily two other words/radicals, 亻+ 義. the first radical is a variation of ⼈, the chinese word for “person,” and the second radical can roughly translate to “righteous” which means when put together, 儀 can mean “righteous person.” however 儀 can also come to mean “the appearance of a righteous person” if you consider all of the meanings i’ve given so far. my parents thought heavily about what my name means, not only on a translation level but also on a structural level.

if you’re writing a family with multiple children, consider having a generational name. in short, generational names usually have a shared character among a single generation of family members. both of my parents and their siblings are named in this manner. my mom and her siblings all have the 華 ( wah ) character in their names. my dad and his brother have the 少 ( siu ) character and his sisters have the 美 ( mei ) character in their names. my grandparents ( both sets ) thought to give their kids a generational link in their names.

now let’s look at jackson wang’s given name, 嘉尔, which he explained was homophonic in meaning. this is a tangent but chinese people love homophones and it’s why we don’t trust the number 4 but love the number 8. his given name, romanized “gaa yee”/”jia er” is essentially a homophone for “plus 2″. he said ( in a video that i cannot find anymore ) that his grandfather named him because he wanted the meaning to be “a king with two guards to protect him”. jackson’s last name 王 (wong/wang) means “king” so “king” “plus 2″ is the intention his grandfather had in naming him.

but if you’re really not versed in things like fengshui or poetry or you don’t have someone with chinese literacy available to you, the next best thing is to honestly ... take a look at media. whether that’s celebrities or film/tv/book characters ( written by actual chinese people pls ) and see what their names are ( or at least the romanizations are ). this will help you figure out what sounds appropriate and what sounds like you’re just mashing sounds together ( see: cho chang is she korean... is she chinese?? who the fuck knows ). and then finding characters that give off a meaning ( like my name meaning “safe appearance” ) is just fine imo.

and honestly sometimes giving a name doesn’t have to be so deep. like fan bingbing’s name literally translates to “ice ice” and i don’t even know what her brother, chengcheng’s name is supposed to mean, i think their parents just think having the duplicated character is fun and cute. so don’t stress yourself out.

also a lot of what i’ve gone over has pertained to the common 3-character name ( 1 character surname, 2 character given name ) but you can also consider a 2 character name ( 1 character surname, 1 character given name ) ( see: xiao zhan ) or even a 2 character surname ( see: ouyang nana ).

so finally, to get you started, here is a short list of characters and their romanizations that you can take a look at.

thank you so much for bearing with me, i know this is a lot of information to take in but it is great that you are seeking this information out in the first place. i also know that this may seem very daunting, and even for me it’s daunting sometimes, but if you have any more questions, please let me know and if you have anything you’d like to add, please let me know.

#writing guide #writing help #naming guide #character resource #naming resource #writing resource #rph #rpc #rpha #rpcw #rpt #mine #Anonymous

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alittledizzy · 2 years

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Advent Day 23: LOTRIPS

This prompt showed up in my advent form and it’s been on my mind since I saw it. It’s not a fic but I hope you’ll enjoy it in place of one today!

Hi! This isn’t fan fiction per say but I’m very interested in early fandom history and saw you mention lotrips— it’s difficult to find good information about what the fandom was like back then and I’m especially curious about the real person shipping/ domlijah aspect of it. If you’d like, could you say what it was like back then and what happened to it/ how fandom and opinions have changed? Have a great day!

This answer really ended up being more about my experiences specifically than the shipping, but if you want to ask specific questions about that I’m happy to share opinions! I think I just don’t know how to approach that from such an expansive perspective. Also lotrips friends please jump in!!

When I think of my time in lotrips fandom, I think of three main things:

Fic: This was not the first fandom I wrote for, it wasn’t even the first fandom I actively participated in, but it was still a revelation. I fell into lotr/lotrips during the second half of my senior year of high school, at the same time I had just been outed at my rural Mississippi high school by my childhood best friend. I did not have a good senior year, and this fandom dropped into my lap right when I really needed escapism.

My origin story: my senior english teacher was out on maternity leave and the sub was a massive fan of Tolkien and had us watch Fellowship. (The Two Towers had just hit theaters, so FOTR was the only one available on DVD). Over that Christmas break I found the fandom and I found livejournal. I lurked for a while (longer than I’d ever lurk in a fandom now) but within a few weeks I hit up someone for an LJ invite code, since at the time you still couldn’t just sign up. (Shoutout gabbyhope, wherever you are, from the once upon a time seventeen year old that emailed you saying please read my (shitty) fic and also help me, a total stranger, get on this website.)

I started writing and posting fic fairly quickly after that. It’s funny because I know I made friends, I know people liked my fic, and I was passionate about writing. But when I look back the things that really stand out to me aren’t what I wrote or the reception I got, but the amazing writers in that fandom that I knew and followed. Some of them became what I hope are lifelong friends, some of them were only in my life for a short time, and some of them I never even talked to but their work influenced me so much. That fandom more than any other helped shape who I am as a writer.

AIM Chatrooms: There was no social media! There was no performative fandom creative output for the purpose of trying to get notices from the actors online. The fic was on livejournal, you posted there, people commented. No one from the cast was in that space. That just wasn’t a thing. So the social bond of the community seemed a lot stronger.

But people still wanted to get together and talk in a more immediately way, you know? so the main group of friends I had in that fandom came from an AOL Instant Messenger chat room that we called “fandom chat.” The awesome thing about AOL is that you could invite yourself into a room, so all you had to do was know the name of the chatroom and boom you were there. I invited myself in and after, idk, a few months I just felt like a natural part of it.

Every single night we would gather and chat about everything under the sun. I met the longest relationship I’ve ever had in that chat room. I had my first (and second, and third and fourth, shhh look we were all young and kinda horny) kisses with women from people who were in that chatroom. I met friends that would change my life. I was exposed to so much from other countries and other cultures and other ways of life that I’d never had my eyes opened to before. Even as I type this, a part of me just misses what a pure social experience that felt like for me.

Conventions: I went to every single Lord of the Rings convention there was. I stayed with people that I knew from fandom chat, but I also met so many people there. I flew on a plane for the first time going to a convention. I had those first kisses at conventions. I fell in love with a new side of fandom culture I’d never really felt before, and the reality that the people in my computer screen didn’t have to only be there. Meeting the celebs was exciting but nothing compared to the bonding experiences. And like, yeah, there was absolutely drama. Amongst people who were around my age I think we all (well, the queer ones) had weird crushes on each other and there was jealousy and some pettiness and it was like any social group of baby gays dipping a toe into the world for the first time. But I love those people so much, even the ones I haven’t talked to in years, and I love how many other people I just never would have met otherwise. Maybe I have some rose colored glasses on but if so it’s just because LOTRIPS gave me the building blocks for what I expect a fandom to be for me and what I want to get out of it.

#lotrips #how tf is it december already

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aboutmikasa · 3 years

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Hi there. I am one of your readers and I have read all of your RM fanfic stories. And I admire them all.

You also write Mikasa with other men/women which is for me very enriching- in a way that your readers can explore and see the dynamic of Mikasa's character by portraying her in different relationships with varied men/women.

But my question, however, is about RivaMika. In your perspective as a Mikasa stan and a multi-shipper writer: what do you think is the strongest quality of RM among other ships?

Hi! Thank you so much for always being there! I always notice you and I’m super grateful for your support and kindness, it means a lot to me.

As you mention I love to explore Mikasa in many different scenarios and looking at her from different perspectives, without changing who she is and I just want to write and read nice fics about how much love she deserves. Every ship is different, the dynamics and interactions are never the same, and of course, every ship attracts me for different reasons.

Rivamika is my OTP, the ship I spend most of my time writing (things I publish and lots of things I may never publish). For me, what makes them special is [a] they both are Ackermans; [b] how much they have in common, [c] how kind is Levi, and above all, the two things I value the most in any relationship [d] respect and, [e] equality. The last thing is my weakness, [f] a terrible first impression (this is the root of most of the couples I ship because, well, my mothership is DarcyxLizzy).

You can stop reading here or follow my long, long, ramblings on how much (and why) I love rivamika.

I love the Ackermans, I’ve always been team Ackerman. I trust them and I knew they were going to be alive at the end of all of this (I wasn’t a prediction but more a feeling; the feeling that Isayama loves them as much as a lot of us do). This is linked with the things they share and their equality but, it stands alone because, well, the Ackermans are the most iconic clan in the story, they are the strongest and all of them are so freaking amazing. When his last name showed and Kenny showed us the family story… I found it even more alluring. I don’t give a damn about the “they are related” issue because they are not, and belonging to the same clan or having the same last name is so good for creativity and writing purposes (the best inside jokes I've read in fanfiction comes from this). It's as if something is pulling me more and more towards them as a ship.

Even if Levi were no Ackerman, the things they have experienced made them attractive to me. A lot. They are strong and people always assume things about them, they lost their families (more than once), they believe in their friends and tried really hard to protect them, they want to protect humanity even when humanity treats them bad. Levi is as taciturn as Mikasa, and he wants a quiet life. I don’t believe two very different people are a good match; couples need to share and have in common a lot of their essential interests: wanting quietness, stepping aside from crows and the public eye, the loyalty they have… These type of things is not easy to balance if you partner needs/wants something else.

The third I adore and that makes me ship them, is Levi’s kindness. I know most people focus on his strength and I get it, he is stronger as hell, but for me what is more distinctive about him is his kindness. He had no reason to be so kind but he is, he listens and tries his best to help. When he “offered” to break Erwin’s legs, when he understood why Mikasa and Eren wanted to save Armin, every time he talked to Mikasa, his interest in Historia. It's not your usual kind guy but the misunderstood type. Mikasa needs that more than anything. Kindness is something I explore in all my fics with Levi, he is more kind than resilient, and that, I adore about him. A strong, kind, resilient, and awkward Levi is so perfect for Mikasa.

For respect and equality, well, the things they share are as important as their differences. Levi is man enough to don’t give a damn about Mikasa being taller than him, to love how strong and muscular she is, to understand she needs her own space and that she moves at her own pace. Mikasa has hope enough for him to have a bit, so caring that he feels safe, Mikasa wants a family and I can’t imagine someone, anyone, else wanting him to have kids of his own and supporting his dream of having his tea shop. Mikasa learned to respect him as much as he learned to respect her and they the most amazing team ever made in fiction. Seriously.

My heart needs to go from a terrible first impression to "love of my life" and, let's be honest, no other couple can give us the Pride and Prejudice vibe. I read once some EM reference and got offended, not even for SnK, but for my Pride and Prejudice soul and how inaccurate is to say E would be Darcy... a kind, blue, man that is the epitome of romantic hero with a quizzical brow. And Levi grows in her just as Darcy grows in Lizzy's heart. I call it my P&P test, if a couple passes it, it's my ship forever. It's absurd and completely personal.

And as a side note, I love their height difference with a burning passion. Mikasa is as self-assured, as he is, and having a shorter man as his man wouldn’t matter to her. Once she loves, she loves fervently. And my inner self—breaking molds and defying stereotypes and patriarchy—can’t love more how not conventional but still conventional they can be.

It’s not one thing alone, it’s the sum of all of it. They are so good together and I live for it.

Idk if you have noticed but, it’s really hard for me not to mention Levi in my non-rivamika fics, and once he’s there, damn he doesn’t stay put and fights me really hard for her. I can’t explain it better, but he’s the closest thing I can accept as her soulmate.

#rivamika #the otp #why i love rivamika #ramblings about my ship

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coldtomyflash · 3 years

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Hi! I'm the anon who asked you about advice for speech patterns with OC characters--absolutely love love loved your advice btw, it wasn't too much at all! I'm just struggling to write a character who grew up really close with their siblings and trying to not make them sound like either of them while still sounding like they grew up together. I want to be able to write dialogue without using tags sometimes and be able to know which character said what. Any more suggestions?

How many shows have you watched with close siblings recently? If any, spend some time analysing what they do in depth. And I’m asking about shows because actors can help you get a very clear feel for differences in character and tone, and should be easier to analyse from that approach than books would be.

I’ve recently watched Supernatural, with the two main characters being brothers who have spent literally almost the entirety of their lives (save for a stint to college for one of them) by each other’s side in close proximity. Nonetheless, I don’t think I’d have any issue telling who is speaking in a fic even if the dialogue had a sum total of zero (0) dialogue tags -- even (maybe especially) if the whole fic was just dialogue back and forth. I could most definitely write a fic as such, partly because I can hear their voices in my head if I were to close my eyes and try, and being able to “visualize” those voices makes it so much easier to ensure they stay distinct from one another.

This is because the writers and actors have done a great job of giving them really similar speech conventions in some ways (as a baseline example, they both use the word “dude” in exactly the same ways) but also have their own quirks (for example, one has what’s almost a catchphrase of “so get this” and the other doesn’t really say that). Each voice is distinct, and it’s a lot less about specific word choice and more about how the way they speak relates to their character and character’s identity: hesitations, pauses, voice raises, cut-off words, interrupting the other, longer or shorter sentences, etc.

So pick out some things that you think both (all? not sure how many there are) of your sibling characters would have in common, and some things that would be unique about them. Does one use bigger/more erudite words than another? Does one swear more than the other(s)? Did one internalize the use of “so, like” from their peers where the other(s) didn’t? Does one raise their voice more than the other?

And do they all refer to things using some common terms? Do they have inside jokes and references that you can use to show how close they are? Does one tease the other more? Is one more terse than the other?

I think you should be very clear about who these characters are inside your mind, and work to let that influence their voices as they come out on the page. Make sure that you’re writing dialogue as a fluid and living thing, rather than rigid. What does that mean? Look at these examples:

“you do not know what it means to me,” he said.

“you don’t know what it means to me,” he said quietly.

“you don’t know what it means to me” he said, voice quiet, pausing every second word with eyes downcast.

“you don’t... you don’t know what it means,” he all but whispered, so quiet that the faint “to me” was almost lost to the floor as he lowered his head.

Right, okay, I think I’ve got your attention. You’re seeing how there’s different ways of conveying hesitation, tone. Now let’s put that into a conversation without dialogue tags, and you can tell me if you think it’s obvious who’s speaking and how these individuals are different:

“you’re not going and that’s final!”

a pause, and then,

“you don’t... you don’t know what it means,” he all but whispered, so quiet that the faint “to me” was almost lost to the floor as he lowered his head.

“you - dude - what? where is this coming from? since when - ?”

“i... nevermind.”

“no, not nevermind! talk to me!”

“i shouldn’t’ve even brought it up.”

“yes you damn well should have, you - “

“would you - ...”

“would i what?”

“i... just would you ... stop... demanding. okay? i get that you’re worried, i do, but it’s...”

“[name]?”

“it’s my decision.”

(And scene)

Okay so obviously I’m in the mood to write something maudlin because idk what that even is, but I hope it managed to convey that one character is raising their voice (exclamation marks, short imperative sentences) and is worked up in a way that has him agitated (he cuts himself off it ends with “-” rathe than “...”). You know that even though he might be close with the other person, he is different than him, and is used to giving orders or taking charge.

whereas the other (let’s assume younger) brother here is hesitant, quiet, using a lot of ellipses (...) as he trails off, even after he cuts himself off you get the impression that he wants to say more but is hesitating to. the “okay?” could be interpreted as a louder “okay?” if it was said by the other, because it’s in it’s own sentence and not just modifying the previous sentence, but here (hopefully) you get the impression that it’s this character taking a second then pushing what he’s saying a bit. not “just would you stop demanding, okay?” but “stop demanding. okay?” by separating it, i’ve made it a question rather than a command.

this younger character is also using qualifiers and adverbs (”just would you” not “would you” or even “would you just”) to soften his speech, whereas the older one is using swears to intensify his.

but neither of them are using any particular word choice here that would stand out, and they’re both comfortable with contractions, and repeating each other’s words back and forth in a way that makes it seem like they’re probably comfortable using the same language (nothing is in scare quotes when they quote/repeat things back to each other). there’s nothing here that stops them from being raised close in a way that means their speech is similar.

So - that’s uh, my weird advice, i guess. get their voices in your head as best as you can, in a way that matches the character and their personality and their role as a sibling to the other (as well as the mood and emotions within each scene!), and do your best to write your dialogue a bit fluidly so that all those little idiosyncrasies that create tone (hesitations, pauses, full stops and new sentences, questions, exclamations, interruptions, etc) all come through naturally without requiring dialogue tags and description to make it come to life.

Final piece of advice on this: trust your reader. unless you screw up the order of who’s talking, they should be able to follow it back and forth. you can toss in a dialogue tag here and there if it gets to be an especially long exchange, or do what i like better and toss in other information about how they’re feeling or responding or what they’re seeing to help situate the reader in the correct PoV, but for the most part readers can follow a flowing conversation so long as they know who spoke first and you keep the back and forth exchange clear.

#writing advice #writing reference #writing #writing resource #redhead vs. writing #dialogue #dialogue tags #hope this helps #honestly just give it a shot and see how it comes out #have a little faith #and play around with it #i love taking out dialogue tags #(lmao not me having written an entire buzzfeed unsolved piece without a single dialogue tag #that was a delightful challenge #anyway)#lovely to hear from you and good luck with the writing!#Anonymous

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willowistic22 · 3 years

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Famous!newsies

Ok so here are my famous!newsies headcanons from an a modern au i thought of if newsies were celebrities/famous yknow bcs I couldn’t get this idea out of my head and idk what to do with it other than making a headcanon list nabsnzbsvsnsbz anyways hope yall validate me after not posting any original content for like…. awhile now hehe

btw it got longer than expected. And I mean r e a l l y long. So if yall wanna read this better sit down and buckle up!

Jack

He’s an artist on youtube

Like a modern day bob ross ig??

If yall know zhc on youtube just imagine that but not so rich (I don’t watch zhc btw but i do know that he does custom art on iphones and stuff and that is definitely not jack kelly)

Anyways Jack simply goes by Jack Kelly.

So jack does art challenges. Like does the weirdest requests from his fans left in his comment section and stuff

Or maybe challenging himself to make art from a specific theme or a specific media

Sometimes he vlogs too but his art videos are what his fans like the most

His merch is amazing because he designed the pattern/drawing/whatever yknow. It’s printed/sewed/whatever on the clothing and it’s good quality. It’s pretty lowkey for a youtuber’s merch bcs jack doesn’t like those merch that just smacks his logo on a hoodie

Davey

He’s a fantasy, YA, romance writer (he mixes it wisely ok?)

And goes by David Jacobs

Listen he’s a hopeless romantic and i’m pretty sure yall agree too

He wanted to stick to YA romance. The classic high school lovers yknow

But he wanted to challenge himself since he’s been writing about high school lovers since he was in high school

Thus the fantasy genre came in mind

So yeah he likes creating love in his own universe

Whether it’d be different worlds, universe, species, time periods, whatever.

He wanted to direct the movies based on his books, but he’s actually lowkey terrible at leading on his own. But he did stick to being the script writer and co-director (look idk how it works in the film industry i’m just making shit up)

Crutchie

He’s a solo jazz singer

Crutchie gives off Michael Buble and Jason Mraz vibes tho

And maybe a bit of frank sinatra? Yknow ‘cause he sings jazz

Also he riffs thank you very much :)

He goes by Crutchie Morris to everyone

He usually plays the acoustic guitar or piano on stage

Ok but he’s like really good with the piano

Makes the best jokes on stage too. Some are just sarcastic comments.

Crutchie asking through the microphone : “Oh, straight?”

A fan he’s talking to from the crowd : “Uhh… no, gay”

Crutchie : “no not you, the vodka”

Everyone at the concert : *laughs*

Crutchie, jokingly : “Oh, you’re drinking vodka! Straight? No gay”

(yes that was indeed inspired by that one video of Harry Styles and a fan in one of his concerts yall can’t stop me)

Kathrine

She’s a crime mystery writer

Think like the modern day Agatha Christie

Okok but she goes by Kathrine Plumber on her books :D

She chooses that genre bcs she’s a huge fan of Agatha Christie

Her favorite book from Agatha is Murder on the Orient Express

Oh and her books are sometime very gruesome alkjsfhakjsfb

Nobody check her browsing history, she’ll look like a murderer

Ok but I feel like she also has a youtube channel about books and stuff and sometimes like to vlog

She also has a writing tips series on her channel where she shares tips on some of the frequently asked questions about writing or her fans leave a specific question in the comment section and thought she could expand more to it in a full length video

Also she likes to vlog while she’s in a book convention

Her books are also turned into movies and she has done a great job directing it

Race

Yall would be lying to me if you don’t think this kid would end up being a twitch streamer and youtuber (like vlogging yknow. I feel like his gaming stuff would strictly be on twitch)

And ik it’s widely agreed by everyone in the fandom that he’s a dancer of some sort so yeah he’s also simultaneously a dancer

I don’t think I need to explain any further bcs it’s just so in character

He goes by Racetrack Higgins

Ok so he likes to vlog on his youtube channel

Sometimes does stupid challenges

Maybe he’d drag Albert to do a challenge which he always says no

“I’ll just be your cameraman dude, dw”

Race : *angery*

Since Al and Smalls are the skateboard peeps™ race is the rollerblade dude™ bcs I say so

He has three cats named Racecat Higgins, Spot Clawlon, and Romeow (i’ve mentioned it before and I will mention it again hehe) and his fans loves them endlessly

Albert

You don’t think this kid would also end up being a twitch streamer and youtuber like his bestie up there?? Lmao you thought wrong (again, gaming is strictly on his twitch)

He just goes by Albert DaSilva on the internet

And yes he’s also a dancer because I say so

On his Youtube channel he also vlogs

Half of his vlogs starts with him riding his skateboard

“Hey, guys! Welcome back to another vlog-” *falls off his skateboard for not paying attention to a curb*

It happens way more often than he’d like to admit let’s be real. His fans make a compilation of it and memes on reddit

Always wear a snapback

Snapbacks are an important element to him so his merch store is really boosting his snapbacks

And just for the wormsie discord server he has one with the word ranga on it after it being born from a stupid inside joke he, race, and both of their fanbases combined share (@ my wormsie fam thank me later)

Oh yeah, his youtube besties are Race and Smalls just so we’re clear here :) (I’ll get to Smalls in a bit)

So I always headcanon Albert having two big dobermans. So his fans always want to see a doggy update because Zara and Zoey are everything to them.

Doggo vlogs are fun. It’s usually Albert taking the two good girls to Central Park for playtime or teaching them new tricks

Spot

He’s a solo rock singer

Is an amazing singer like wow none of the newsies expected him to have that sort of pipes to reach high notes

And he does it amazingly with no sweat

Also his instrument is the electric guitar to go with his amazing singing ajsfhasjfhajhf

Anyways he goes by Spot Conlon still

And his songs are very lyrical. Like very.

A lot of metaphors. No one knows what most of his songs means.

So basically Taylor Swift songs if it switched genres to rock. And not even like songs from speak now or red. But like if evermore and folklore songs were to turn into rock songs with a little bit of reputation vibes sprinkled on top. And his concerts has the reputation era vibes but make it spot conlon (hey non swiftie fans reading this i’m so sorry i’m pretty sure yall don’t understand wtf i’m talking abt)

That is also the only way i know to describe his vibe i’m sorry but i don’t really listen to a lot of rock alkjhfasjk

Anyways it’s a known fact that he wears tank tops daily that it becomes his signature look. And also an inside joke among his fanbase

Now just picture the merch booth from one of his shows and there’s like endless tank top designs for his fans to pick and choose

He’s also crowned to be the King of Brooklyn bcs of obvious reasons

But the joke is he’s a pretty tough hardcore guy that’s a cat person

Sarah

She’s a badass female solo singer

Mostly does pop but the badass type of pop

Yes, she does go by Sarah Jacobs

Fans were really surprised Davey and Sarah are related

Because one is a hopeless romantic while the other is a total badass

Anyways she gives off Little mix, Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift, and Selena Gomez vibes

That is literally the only way I can describe it

She’s very lyrical, with a lot of metaphors

When she dances on stage, she d a n c e s

All while holding a mic to sing. And she hits all those high notes like it’s no ones business (a literal queen i tell you)

She and Spot are besties and has been known to have done a few collabs together

Their fans were hesitant about their collabs since their genre is pretty different from the other but they make it work and it slAPS

And among all her boppy songs with full choreography and backup singers, she always have a few songs she sings while only being accompanied by piano or guitar (Either electric or acoustic) which she plays on her own

Finch

He’s an indie pop artist with his trusted acoustic guitar by his side

Just think of music by Wallows and Lewis Capaldi were to be blended in together and Conan Gray for the cherry on top

But it has a little bit of Ed sheeran, Lorde, and Lauv vibes to it too

His concerts are simple but his songs are mostly very boppy so his fans still have fun either way

And it’s usually in small venues but there are times where he had a concert in a huge stadium

He goes by FINCH (yeah all caps btw)

Finches are a very on brand thing for him obviously

Has been known to collab with Crutchie and they actually make a very good team

Somehow was able to combined both genres to produce a few boppy songs

Ok ok but Finch and Crutchie have made a collaborative album (and maybe they went on tour????)

Specs

He’s a history fiction writer

Yes this is inspired by the fact that he’s 100% a history nerd (no one change my mind i love this headcanon aight)

And he explores a lot of different histories from different parts of the world

He actually helps a lot of students understand history even further for school through his novels

Anyways he goes by Specs because I say so

No one knows why that’s his pseudonym and Specs isn’t interested in explaining either. No one other than the newsies need to know it was born from a stupid nickname the newsies gave him :)

His research mostly comes from history books because of his genre which wouldn’t be a problem since he has loads and will voluntarily buy more if needed

Also yeah he makes a great director for the movies taken from his books

Mush

He’s a chef on youtube

Goes by Mush Meyers

So think if Gordon Ramsey and his youtube channel but make it mush

Yeah that’s it really

Ok but Mush is a jolly and friendly person

Other than just food vlogging he does cooking challenges and cooking tips too

Sometimes he does the cooking challenges with a friend (mostly henry but i’ll get to him later on in the list)

But he also vlogs his life

Which isn’t really often but he likes to sometimes

He’s that big of a foodie he has a food blog too

And also a seafood restaurant so that’s cool :D

Henry

Like Mush, he’s a chef on youtube

Goes by Henry on the internet and in general

Ajkfhajfjska I’m thinking about how ppl would address him as Chef Henry kajhfkjlashfjklasfjklsf

He mostly does the same thing like Mush actually

Food vlogging and cooking challenges (they do it together so) sometimes cooking tips

But Henry vlogs his life a lot

And instead of a food instagram he has a food blog

He has a sandwich restaurant

Yeah it is inspired by his pastrami on rye with a sour pickle line from KONY get mad about it why don’t ya (well if i’m not mistaken henry was the one that said it but idk i have horrible memory)

Blink

He’s a youtuber

Ok so I have a specific headcanon that Blink majored in psychology but didn’t end up being a psychologist

So instead he becomes a psychologist on youtube

Who often vlogs jhgasjlfhs

The guy looks like he could cut you but his sense of humor once you get him talking is just *chef’s kiss* amazing

Which is why he also has a podcast because he’s also secretly great at talking

He just thinks mental health is very important, okay?

Romeo

He’s an actor

Mostly on Broadway but has worked with Hollywood before

He’s usually a supporting character but has been known to understudy for main characters

Ok ik these bullet points are getting shorter and shorter but these are mostly bcs some of these stuff are pretty self explanatory since it’s very in character

Like are you telling me a kid named Romeo isn’t gonna be in some way very dramatic and end up turning that personality trait into his career?? Plus he’s very good at that?

Yeah you’re lying to me

Also he’s a pretty frequent vlogger on youtube

Look he’s a fun guy, what did you expect?

Just goes by Romeo on youtube

Elmer

He’s an actor

Has done his fair share in Broadway and Hollywood but started in Broadway

He can dance but thinks he’s pretty average in it yknow

Which his fans has no idea what he’s talking about because on stage he can do flips and turns like it’s no ones business yknow

But he can sing really good and takes pride in it

Elmer would play characters that is really far off from his own personality that fans couldn’t believe that Elmer played that character

He has done his fair share in main characters and supporting characters on Broadway

In Hollywood he usually does indie and rom-com movies

Buttons

He’s a fashion youtuber and basically an influencer

Let’s be real this boy is a fashion icon

He’s not really a model but more like a fashion influencer and also kind of a fashion designer

His clothing line is very *chefs kiss* amazing

He designed it all and sometimes likes to design for his friends as well

He also does fashion tips on his youtube channel

His instagram game is god tier level (along with Tommy Boy and Sniper I’ll get to them in a bit)

But yeah he also vlogs

And goes by Buttons Davenport

Jojo

He’s an actor

Mostly on Broadway but has done a few movies in Hollywood

He radiates main character energy and he does become the main character most of the time (on hollywood at least)

On Broadway he mostly enjoys being apart of the ensemble because this boy loves dancing

But he does play a few supporting characters

He has released one or two albums too because his singing is top tier

But isn’t interested in doing a lot of live concerts with his albums

Since no one has the time to say Josephino Jorgelino De La Guerra he turned it into Jojo De La Guerra (so much for ‘a special nickname only for friends and family’)

Mike and Ike

They’re a pop boy band and bcs of my lack of creativity it’s called Mike and Ike

At the start of their career :

“My name goes first because I’m older than you!” - Mike

“You’re only older than me by 13 minutes, holy shit!” - Ike

But Ike slowly accepts the fact that it’ll be like this yknow

Anyways they’re pretty great singers

They have one direction and new hope club vibes

Tho unlike one direction they can dance (i love the boys alright but i really think it’s funny that they can’t dancelkhjjlh)

They like to switch from the guitar (electric and/or acoustic) to the piano

The amount of times their name is confused by the candy is too many

But they like it like that lol

Anyways i’ve mentioned a headcanon where Mike has tattoos (not like from head to toe but it’s fairly noticeable to everyone) and Ike has piercings

So the only way their fans tell them apart is by that

But there are times where Mike has his tattoos covered or Ike took his piercings off in public alone. A fan mistakens them for the other twin but they still respond to the other name because they don’t feel like there’s a need to correct them since they’re mostly known by Mike and Ike anyways. When the fan posts it on instagram and tags the twin they thought it was the twin that was tagged would comment “wrong twin but nice pic you two”

Happens wayyyyy too many times. Their fans are officially scared to approach one of the two in public alone without their differentiating indicators on which is which

And yes it is widely known that they argue a lot when it comes to writing songs

Nothing out of the ordinary sibling squabble yknow but it’s a lot

But they do end up finding a solution to the topic of their argument and make a good team at the end of the day

Hotshot

He’s an actor

On Broadway, he’s one of those actor’s that is mostly good in just the acting and singing

He can’t dance to save his life sjdfghaf

So Jeremy Jordan yknow asj;oghajshf

No not really. He can dance a little bit

So he’s mostly the main character

But he’s widely known for his works in Hollywood

He does a lot of drama. Think stuff like Elite and Designated Survivor. Yeah those kinds of heavy drama (well idk i think those two are pretty heavy)

He wants to release his own music because he’s a pretty good singer but he can’t write songs to save his life either jgnjafjasf

And all the demo songs he was suggested by producers isn’t his cup of tea

So he’s no singer ladies and gents ://

The name Hotshot is used to name his social media platforms. He always adds a description in his bio’s that Hotshot is a nickname his friends and family use so his fans and the media refer to him with his name

I headcanon Hotshot’s real name is Tyler or some sort. No don’t ask me what’s his last name is because idk either lol

Sniper

She’s a model, beauty and fashion youtuber (I’m pretty sure those are two different things tho idk i don’t watch youtube religiously anymore), and just an influencer in general

Instagram game on p o i n t

I know most beauty youtubers go by their names but uhh… i don’t think i’ve ever thought of a first name for Sniper but I really think she really would just go by Sniper Wah on the internet (Idk she seems like an Ashley in my head but feel free to recommend headcanon names to me)

Anyways she’s very fashionable

Tommy Boy (i’ll get to him just wait aight?) and Buttons are her fashion besties

The three of them pretty much appear in each other’s Youtube video not Tommy’s tho bcs he doesn’t have one lol

Sniper’s brand are huge sun hats

I have no idea how or why but that girl has sun hats vibes I can’t explain any further I’m sorry

Doesn’t have a clothing line but does have a make up brand of her own. She calls it Sniper. Yeah that’s it akjfhjf

Smalls

She’s a twitch streamer and youtuber like race and albert

They’re a youtube trio everyone loves it

And yes she does go by Smalls

Oh and she also dances like her two stupid besties thanks for asking

Bubblegum is her brand (idk how to explain she just has the vibe)

She is skateboard chick

I’m imagining a video collab of her and Al on a skatepark doing stupid challenges

It’s her most viewed video

Tommy Boy

Ok ok he’s a model, influencer, and dancer

So think a male version of Gigi Hadid that dances

No he doesn’t have a youtube channel but frequently has made an appearance on Buttons’ and Sniper’s videos

Yes his instagram feed is also very amazing

He goes by Tommy Boy

People genuinely thinking ‘Boy’ is actually his last name and kinda think it’s strange but doesn’t complain

Tommy literally didn’t think people would think it was his last name. But they did anyways

Les

Let’s just get straight to the point : he’s a famous tiktoker

And yes, ppl are surprised at the fact that him, Davey, and Sarah are related to each other

To the people that made it through this entire list. Congratulations and thank you for your validation. Have a wonderful evening and stay hydrated

i will write at least one oneshot out of this au i promise!!

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alittleoptimistic · 3 years

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Hi! I just wanted to say, I BLOODY LOVE YOUR GF FANFIC!!! I have trouble reading in general and with fanfic I usually find one to hyperfixate on for months or years at a time, even if I don't like it that much, because I'm too afraid to look for any outside of recommendations.

I've had a variety of different experiences (mostly strong cringe) but when I read yours I feel kinda like goldy locks from that fairytail the three bears, some fics are too long or too short, too complex or too simple, too dark or too serious, but yours is "just right"! It has a great balance of mature and silly, wich is a problem I personally get with alot of gf fic (usually too dark or angsty or mature) that doesn't make the fic bad, but it isn't my cup of tea.

And I love love love love the way you characterise the... characters, especially stan and ford. They feel just right in that they're not portrayed as "too tough" or "too mean" and they're allowed to actually feel anxious or worried and don't always express it in a violent or loud or "manly" way. It feels like your writing the characters first instead of "grumpy old men who happen to be silly sometimes". They can be soft and kind and dumb and dorks and I personally adore it. The way you write comfort with them is sooooooo heartmelting.

Same goes for the other characters, they're aloud to express themselves in less conventional ways wich means they actually feel more like the kinds of people to "build giant death robots instead of dealing with their feelings" or "use a smoke bomb, grab the cash, and book it" or "be oblivious to obvious red flags when caught up in curiosity and fascination" for some obvious examples.

Even the way you use words is a delight and refreshingly easy to read whilst also painting a very lovely picture. I rarely get overwhelmed or confused and it feels so efficient? And refreshing!

Sorry this is a long one but I was catching up on some of your fic during a long train ride yesterday and had to stop every paragraph or so to annoy my twin bro about how much I loved it!

Aw man these sorts of messages straight up make my whole day. Thanks 😊

I’m glad you think the words come off well lmao, bc it sure doesn’t feel like that when I’m writing. I’m trudging up hill lol.

I totally get what you mean about some fics being too angst-y. I think part of it is bc the canon content is mostly light hearted, so people do this super opposite thing and end up a little too far on the other side in an attempt to add more depth. But they do it too fast maybe? Idk, to each their own, but I agree, it’s not my cup of tea. I kind of write fan fic bc I want to see a certain thing I’m not seeing- so part of me writing TSoSP was because I wasn’t seeing a lot of reconciliation stories that were quite to my taste. (Not that there aren’t any at all! I’ve found several I love so much! Blind Faith comes to mind, as well as For Mutts and Men)

I really had a problem with letting The Boys (lol) cry or be very outwardly emotional, especially toward each other? So I’m glad it works well for you lol! I just didn’t feel like it was in character for them, so I saved up any extreme sorts of emotion as long as I possibly could. I worked with the idea that I wasn’t going to let the reader get the payoff of seeing them actually do the right thing as long as possible and I also wouldn’t let them pretty much ever say what they actually meant. Uhhh that’s just more interesting for me personally, and it makes it so I can have very violent/sad/ dramatic situations, but keep it relatively light hearted by having the characters just be like “ah hah. Nope. Not going to think about that. Here is a joke.” Idk, maybe that was just frustrating. I’m trying to practice not being too dismal bc it is very much my tendency to go all out with the Sad and Violent- and I’ve seen some good stories balance it out with humor. I’m working on an original book that has very much to do with death and grief, so I’ve been trying to use that same kind of technique. Humor to balance out pain? Idk. Like, I watched the Odd Couple recently and realized that it’s straight up about a guy who gets divorced, and tries to kill himself, and all his friends aren’t sure how to help. And it’s the funniest movie I’ve ever seen.

Some people write fan fic for the cathartic feeling of those characters being loved and expressing love, ummmm I also like this but sometimes I’m just cringing and idk why. Idk if that makes sense. Like as much as I want a young stan pines to get a long hug with his brother, it’s just not going to happen in my understanding of the characters unless they’re incredibly drugged or they almost just died. Like, to me, the whole interesting thing about it would be the journey of getting them to a place where they would reasonably do the thing you want them to do. (The stakes are even higher when they’re old. Like, can you imagine your gruff grandpa crying on his twin’s shoulder? It’s going to take Some Stuff for that situation to happen) idk. Tbh if I could do it again, I would have extended the ending a bit but it is what it is.

I think it depends on what you’re trying to accomplish. Cause, I don’t want to bash people who are just trying to cope by making some old guys cry I’m each other’s arms, ya know? Like, can people just have things? If that’s helping you emotionally, go for it. But also, the idea of stan pines- an old man who grew up in the 60-70s- going to therapy and being emotionally vulnerable the way some modern teenagers are is just,,, in my version of his world it is going to take a Lot of growth. I have family members that are very similar to Stan (except very Italian instead of Jewish lol) and it’s just funny to imagine someone who is literally the same person as my great uncle John getting the owo treatment 😭😂

So anyway that’s a lot of words whoops. I’m less of a hurt/comfort writer and more of an Hurt writer and then sneak in some comfort but let’s not make eye contact about it

#gravity falls #fan fiction #asks #I wish I had the motivation to write original fiction the way I have for fan fic #thanks for the ask :’)#writing #the sacrifice of stanford pines #tsosp

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glittercracker · 4 years

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Kingkiller Crap

So, I’ve never really posted much here that involves my own thoughts. There are a number of reasons why, but whatever. I feel the need NOW to post some thoughts, and having no working independent blog (yet!) I suppose this is the place to dump them. PSA: none of this is about anime. None of this is frivolous or fun. TW for sexual abuse. You have been warned! So. I’ve been rereading the Kingkiller Chronicles. aka “Name of the Wind” and “The Wise Man’s Fear” and “That Other One That Shall Not Be Named.” This reread was, at the beginning, almost an afterthought. A way to keep my 13 yo happy on a 7 hour car ride. Except, he could not have cared less, and I got sucked back into the story (and okay, if that is how all our audiobook car rides go, meh? At least it keeps me sharp!) I raced through book one, and bought book 2 on audible with an eye to my upcoming surgery and recooperation. Book one was problematic in the places I remembered, but also as generally engaging as I remembered. And then book 2 happened, and surgery happened, and I have had weeks to lie in bed listening to this bloody interminable sequel, and I find myself lost in a morass of, “WTF was I ever THINKING?” Namely, how did I ever love this book enough to pine for the next? It’s been hard to put a finger on exactly what is making this time through book 2 both a slog and also vaguely, creepily uncomfortable, but if you’re interested, my rather stream-of-consciousness ramble of thoughts ensues. First, the male gaze that rears its head at times in book 1 predominates here. But while I don’t love the way Kvothe describes women, I also have 2 degrees in literature, and I’m beyond that being a reason not to read an otherwise engaging book. Second, Kvothe is a Gary Stu, for all of Rothfuss’s protestations to the contrary. Again, so far, so much traditional high fantasy. But while, say, Aragorn is content to just quietly be Awesome At Everything, Kvothe is a braggy little shit of a Gary Stu: the person you hated for announcing their perfect scores in that hs class you could never quite master. I could fill several pages with examples, but for some reason what really made me want to kick him in the head was not Felurian’s disbelief of his virginity (though really, jfc, REALLY?) Nope, it was the end of his time w the Ademrae (sp may be off, remember, I’m listening not reading!) when he crows about having learned the history of his sword 2 days earlier than expected. Why does this stick out? Oh, idk. Maybe bc he sucks so hard he can’t even get past the first obstacle in his practical final exam? Yet he still has to tell us how fucking awesome he is for remembering 6000 names of previous owners.

I know, I’m supposed to forgive his teenage idiocy. The internet sympathists (no pun intended!) keep telling me this. And I suppose that I would, IF this were a simple first-person narrative - but it isn’t. Let’s repeat that, and really think about it. This story is being narrated by an older and presumably wiser Kvothe who has lost everything - whose abilities have been expunged to the extent that he can’t open his own chest of Cool Stuff. He shows humility in his actions, mostly. And yet when discussing his 16 yo self, the humility evaporates, and he speaks with no kind of perspective or lens of accrued wisdom. He still compares women to instruments waiting for the “right” player (i.e. him) and defends this choice of words by saying, essentially, “You aren’t a musician, you don’t know!”

Interesting assumption for an innkeeper in a medieval-esque world. Interesting assumption if this is in fact authorial interjection, too, because I suspect the majority of this book’s audience *are* musicians to at least an extent, and I also suspect that the majority of us (yes, us - I own several beloved instruments, including a harp custom made for me as a wedding present from my husband) would not equate a human lover to even the most beloved of instruments.

But all of this is well-trodden critical ground. As far as I can tell, though, my third issue isn’t: although it’s perhaps the most glaringly tone-deaf example of all of Rothfuss’s excruciatingly tone-deaf portrayal of his world’s women. Namely, the two girls kidnapped and gang-raped by the fake Ruh.

Almost all of the criticism I’ve read on this section of TWMF concentrates on Kvothe’s treatment of the girls’ abusers. What’s interesting is that no one ever seems to write about Kvothe’s treatment of the girls themselves. Yes, he treats them kindly. He tends their wounds, he feeds them, he tries (and succeeds, of course) to draw Ellie out of her shocked stupor.

Yet what he never once does, from the moment he takes control of the situation, is ask their opinions on any of this, including what their next step should be. He just decides to bring them back to their families - families who, in this type of society, might well disown them for being “ruined”. And the girls themselves, namely the intelligent and savvy Krin, seem to go blindly along with what he says. Why? Would Krin at least not question this, or object to his making decisions for her, when a group of men had so recently and brutally taken away all of her agency? Would she not question whether being brought back to her family is the best thing for the catatonic Ellie?

Okay, apparently not. So they return to their apparently very forgiving town. Kvothe stands up for the girls against the village shithead: thank you, Kvothe, bc I’m sure Krin could not have said those words herself. He assures the reader that they are with people who will love and care for them despite what has happened to them: thank you, Kvothe, though it’s stretching my credulity a bit that you would assume that no one will take issue with their deflowering. But then he “gifts” the girls the spoils of his slaughter: the horses, the valuables, the wagons. And I was about to give him a (grudging) pass for being decent about this, EXCEPT: he goes on to say that these goods are meant for the girls’ dowries. Specifically, to make them worth enough financially for potential husbands to overlook their loss of virginity. He even tells Krin not to settle for a less-than-lucrative marriage.

And suddenly, I was outraged. Why? Because a man who had witnessed the full extend of these women’s abuse brought them back to a backwater town believing that he was being magnanimous both in doing so, and in giving up whatever share he might have taken of the spoils of the debacle to make them financially lucrative marriage prospects. Because he never asked these traumatized girls if they might rather cut and run with the money than use it to make some man overlook their abuse in order to make them his property. He never even questions the idea that they will be grateful to submit to marriage contracts that will no doubt require them to have sex with their husbands, even though these women have been abused to the extent that they cannot sit a horse for *two days* after being rescued. And the worst part is that 20-something frame-story Kvothe doesn’t question this either; he just goes on to gloat about people singing songs about his daring rescue. Maybe I was just ready for a straw to break my benefit of the doubt. Or maybe this really is as outrageous as it feels. Either way, I can’t help being angry at Rothfuss. As a writer, I am very well aware that character and author are not the same thing; that authorial intent is not the same as authorial beliefs. But there are moments in some books when I have to wonder if that line is blurring, and this is one of them. Kvothe has literally JUST left a female-dominated country full of independent women happily doing their own thing. He has given these girls the means to find themselves a situation that will never require them to be beholden to a man again - even houses ffs, in the shape of those 2 wagons, should they want them. There are so many options beyond marriage: I can’t, for instance, think of a medieval society that didn’t have its version of a convent. Or, for Krin at least, why not the University? For that matter, why not marry her himself, and then set her free to do as she likes under the awning of a respectable marriage?

Instead he returns them to their fathers, and likewise gives their fathers the means to marry them off with no argument. Who, after all, holds the reins of the horses at the end? Why does Kvothe assume that these families will actually use the wealth even in the dubious way that he recommends?

And in this, I think, I am justified in giving Rothfuss the stink-eye. This is one more instance for Kvothe to play the hero with no real attention given to the consequences. Kvothe himself, I think, would be appalled. He has suffered so much deprivation in his life, so often been marginalized, scapegoated, powerless, how on earth could he so easily consign others to that fate? How could he think, loving Denna as he does, having heard her words to the beaten girl in Severin, that buying these girls husbands who will “overlook” their abuse for the sake of wealth is anything but a wretched life sentence for them?

Sigh. There was a time when I desperate awaited book three. Now, given the other women’s lives at stake in this series, I’m not so sure I want to know.

#kingkiller chronicle #kvothe #patrick rothfuss #wise man's fear #Kingkiller chronicles sexism #kvothe gary stu #kkc sexism

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winterscaptain · 4 years

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directors cut on metanoia! it’s one of my favorites for some reason

you ask and i deliver!! metanoia, with commentary, under the cut with my commentary in bold italics

up next: redamancy!!

warnings: discussion of miscarriage

“Alright, team. This week we’re headed back to Terra Mesa, AZ, for a series of murders at the university.” Penelope stood in front of the screen, outlining the recent crime scene photos as the rest of you looked through the case files. “Some of the residents at the Apache reservation nearby were injured in one of the attacks, and the presumed killer is leaving tokens around the reservation that are currently being treated as threats.”

Finding an excuse to get back to Terra Mesa was hard, but I managed to figure out something that would be big enough for the BAU to make an appearance without involving other federal authorities.

Any excuse to see Blackwolf is a welcome one, and I really wanted to bring him back into our world in AJF. He’s such a fantastic character and frankly it’s a crime we only saw him once.

You all looked to Emily, who nodded once, and the team stood with her. “I’ll start with Derek at the reservation, and visit our old friend John Blackwolf, while the rest of you start building on what they’ve got at the precinct. Wheels up in thirty.”

+++

Moments before the plane landed, your phone rang. You answered it before the rest of the team could see the name. “L/N...Speaking…Really?” Your voice didn’t give much away, but the team was listening in anyway. “Thank you...I’m currently out of town for work. Can I give you a call when I get home?...Great. Thanks...Yeah, I’ll be in touch.”

Looking back, this was before I moved to present tense and phased out “Y/N” and “L/N” conventions. Oh well. I’ll get over it eventually.

That’s what the writing process is for, though, right? It’s always changing and always growing.

You hung up and sat back in your seat. You did your best to school your expression into something pensive and neutral as you stared out the window.

Pregnant. Again. Fuck.

Elation, fear, anxiety, and anticipation all warred within you. You hadn’t breathed a word to Aaron, even when you realized you were late, or suddenly didn’t like the smell of your own body wash. It seemed reasonable to keep it from him until you were absolutely sure.

Reading this back while working on the Reality Check trilogy was a trip - I really wanted to lay a foundation for these emotions warring within Mom in this moment and explain why it was so hard to tell Aaron.

I think I did alright??

A false alarm, or worse, would be a damning disappointment.

+++

You were admittedly distracted as you went through the motions at the crime scene. A fog clouded your head, and you’d zoned out more than once as JJ tried to engage you in conversation. After a while, she decided to leave you alone, only returning when she was finished discussing MO with the officers outside.

JJ crouched beside you as you took a few more photos. “You alright?”

My dumb ass forgot JJ was eight months pregnant here, but it’s fine. She’s athletic enough to crouch and stand up if she’s careful.

It was when I was reading this back that I decided to put all the episode/canon notes into a big spreadsheet to keep track of shit. My brain is a sieve.

“Just fine, Jayje.” Your voice sounded tired even to your own ears.

She didn’t buy it. Her hand rose to your upper arm, squeezing a little. “I’m here if you need anything, okay? You know that.”

You nodded. “I know.”

“I’m serious. Anything.” She leaned in close to you. “And it all stays with me. Nothing goes to Hotch unless you tell me it’s okay.”

This was a line of dialogue looking to include somewhere as well. There’s always that element of discretion because they all work together. Because Hotch was unit chief for so long, there’s always that feeling that mom (or anyone else) could tattle without realizing it.

I originally had this in a really early one of my fics, when I had Reader joining the team in season one and she and Hotch were married already, but it was scrapped and shuffled into pieces that actually made sense. It was a profiler, profiled episode where mom looked at Derek and said “I’m not my husband. You don’t have to hide from me. Anything you tell me stays right here between us unless you want me to talk to him about it.”

No matter what iteration of Reader I’m working with, there’s always a kinship with Derek. Not sure why. Maybe it’s because I feel like he��s slept on within the fandom? Idk I just love him and want him to have friends and adequate support all the time. He and Hotch are such strong folks and it’s a shame the CM writers don’t know how to use the great characters they’ve created.

You bumped her shoulder with yours. “Thanks.”

Thoughts raced around in your head on repeat. There was part of you that wanted to tell Aaron right away, just step out and call him right then. Another part of you couldn’t fathom putting him at risk for that kind of loss again. Not after the first time.

What he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him, and you could handle it on your own, right? It wouldn’t be so bad to wait another few weeks? Just until the end of the first trimester.

+++

Three days into the case with very little progress, the director was under pressure to have this case solved, and solved quickly. Working closely with the Native American community was good PR for the FBI - failing to solve a case as more university students were murdered was decidedly not.

Thus, Aaron was flown in from Quantico Hello, passive voice! Nice to see you! to oversee the investigation, and act as a liaison for additional support, should it become necessary. I had to figure out how to get Section Chief Aaron out here...Once again, your emotions were at war. It was always a delight to have him by your side in the field, but he’d know something was on your mind. If he asked you outright, you couldn’t - wouldn’t - lie to him.

Aaron arrived at the precinct faster than you expected. He held back a smile when he saw you, electing to re-introduce himself to the police chief and make nice before formally stepping in as the FBI authority on-site. You were the only member of the team that didn’t already know everyone - the Terra Mesa cult killings were before your time at the BAU, and indeed even before your time at the FBI.

This was before I had a “real” ajf timeline, so I sprinkled little things in here to help myself when I actually sat down and put it all together.

Emily had you bouncing between the crime scene and the precinct, so you had yet to visit the reservation. The infamous Blackwolf was still a mystery to you, but you’d heard a great deal about him from Aaron.

“Hotch, Y/N, can you take a trip to the reservation to see how Spencer and JJ are getting along? We want to make sure we’re doing everything we can to work collaboratively with Blackwolf, and I’m sure another familiar face would go a long way.”

In the car, Aaron held your hand. It was nice to have him out in the field, a rare occurrence these days. You often missed him during the longer cases, but it was much more fun to talk about your day when he wasn’t beside you for most (if not all) of it.

My mom just said something about this regarding quarantine - she’s like “it’s so boring to tell your dad what I did all day while we were...sitting next to each other working from home.”

I laughed.

Unlike Strauss, he was very-hands off with the units under his jurisdiction, and it worked. It kept him out of the field and on the good side of the unit chiefs. The section was performing beautifully, with few bureaucratic hangups and even fewer infractions. About halfway through the drive, a smile crossed his face.

Any opportunity to emphasize that Aaron is really capable of taking over the bureau is an opportunity I’m going to seize.

“What’s funny?” You asked, laughing a little. There was something warm in your chest that bloomed whenever Aaron smiled, and the joy usually bubbled out of your mouth - often without permission. The rare treat almost made you forget about the rock in your stomach. Almost.

“I want to see something when we get to the reservation.”

“Oh?”

He nodded, a secret little smile still on his lips. “Just trust me and follow my lead.”

You scoffed. “Don’t I always?” You paused, and he raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth. “Wait. Don’t answer that.”

And thus a very early indicator of their dynamic is exposed…

This is the fun thing about writing out of order - there’s something so exciting about going back and reading stuff when you’re building up to a certain point and finding the groundwork you’ve already established. It’s like building the roof of the house before the foundation and then you’ve suddenly got a whole house. It’s cool.

He smiled at you before schooling his expression into his normal resting skepticism and removed his hand from yours as you approached the reservation. You wiped the pout off your face after a moment, falling into the professional modality you’d developed prior to Aaron’s promotion, when you had to keep your hands each other in the field.

Those years were brutal.

Brutal, indeed, and I can WAIT to explore them further!! We’ve got three years where mom and Aaron work together on the same team before he’s promoted and I’m so excited to see how that dynamic works out once the team is made aware of their relationship.

You placed your sunglasses on top of your head as you stepped out of the car and followed Aaron to the reservation school.

“Hotchner.” A handsome, well-built man with an impressive knife on his belt called out to you from across the courtyard, and a small smile broke out across Aaron’s face.

“Blackwolf.”

They exchanged firm handshakes, and Blackwolf’s attention fell to you. You watched as his eyes quickly jumped from your face, to your gun, to your engagement ring and down to your shoes, before returning to your eyes.

I LOVE JOHN BLACKWOLF!!!

“Agent Y/N L/N. Your reputation precedes you,” you said with a smile and an extended hand.

Blackwolf snorted, but took your hand in a firm, warm grasp. “I’m sure it does, if Agent Hotchner here has anything to do with it.” He glanced at the both of you and turned. “Follow me.”

If we don’t start with snark when we meet Blackwolf, what do we have left?

Nothing.

He took you around the reservation, explaining the possible weaknesses in defense should the serial killer jump the highway. You and Aaron trailed a little behind him as you walked, but Blackwolf never looked back as he spoke.

He was explaining the possible positions of an attack from the hill, and the possibility that their assailant could attack from any direction, but “...that shouldn’t be an issue for Agent L/N.” He glanced back at Aaron, the first time he’d done so. “Was it your influence that inspired your fiance to carry two guns, or did she start doing that on her own?”

THIS LINE RIGHT HERE is what started this whole fic for me. I thought of including John in AJF really early on, and I knew right off the bat that Aaron was going to trick him and not tell him that he and Reader are together as a kind of test. This moment always existed as John passing that test with flying colors.

You glanced up at Aaron, eyes wide and alarmed. Aaron only smiled at you and replied, “I taught her. She carries hers -”

“On the offside, I know,” he finished. “It’s smart, if you’re into that sort of thing.”

Aaron huffed a laugh. “Don’t start.”

You sputtered a little, and you lost step with them for a moment before jogging to Aaron’s side. “Hold on, back up. How did you…?” You were speechless, to say the least, and you could tell Aaron was doing everything in his power to keep from laughing out loud.

This scene was so alive in my head, and I’m really pleased with how it turned out. There were like eight or nine different versions of this dialogue I worked on before settling on this one.

Finally, Blackwolf stopped and faced you, gesturing to you as you spoke. “Just like with Agent Hotchner’s left, your right step is slightly heavier, and you favor your right arm for balance when you walk. When you walk beside him, you’re on his right, placing your weapons on the outside of your frames for the best defense. Now, whether or not you do that on purpose I don’t know, but it’s an inherently protective posture.”

You blinked rapidly for a moment, adjusting to the onslaught of information. “How did you know I was engaged to him?” You threw a thumb in Aaron’s direction.

He raised an eyebrow, and a smile ghosted across his face. “Can’t give away all my secrets, now, can I?”

The truth of it? I have no fucking clue how he’d figure that one out so I just left in another “Blackwolf Magic” moment.

A laugh left you. “That’s fair enough.”

He opened his mouth and took a breath as if to speak again but closed it, squinting at you. You swallowed, feeling very exposed all of a sudden. His face transformed then, as if he’d realized something. “You should ask Agent Hotchner about perception. He may have learned a few things since last I saw him.”

This was almost the big reveal, but then I realized John would have more tact than that. And it also wouldn’t be long enough, not to mention deeply unprofessional :)

You looked up at Aaron, but he only rolled his eyes good-naturedly at his friend and kept walking.

+++

The way Aaron was around Blackwolf made your chest hurt a little less. They were like a pair of kid brothers - giving each other a hard time and cracking wise whenever they got the opportunity. Weak insults like “Captain America” and “Fortune Cookie” ran abound when out of earshot from the local officers, but there was a kind of deep respect and hard-won warmth that flowed freely through all their interactions.

“What happened the last time you were out here?” You asked Aaron, on the way back from the university one night.

Aaron looked at the road as he replied with a quirk of his lips. “I learned something.” He reached for your hand, and you held his in both of your own, kissing his knuckles.

I really believe Aaron learned so much out in Terra Mesa in season one. There’s such a distinctive, yet subtle, shift between the Aaron who rolls up completely skeptical and the Aaron who’s willing to accept that “there are many roads that lead to the same place.”

I LIVE FOR MEN WHO TEACH AND CHALLENGE EACH OTHER!!!

+++

It was only when you were alone with Blackwolf, days later, scouting terrain on the border between the university and the reservation, did you ask him. “Were you going to say something earlier, on the first day Hotch was here?”

I love it when Mom calls Aaron “Hotch” at work, even when they’re alone. Makes me all soft.

He nodded, crouched and studied the thicket-lined path. “I was.”

You waited patiently and did your best to see what he saw. It was a hopeless endeavor. All you saw was a well-worn path surrounded by bushes of indistinguishable varieties.

“I was going to ask you when you’re due, but I didn’t want to spoil the surprise.” He looked up at you with a crooked little smile. “Congratulations.”

How on Earth…

Breathless laughter punctuated your next words. “Okay, I knew it was a possibility that Aaron had told you we were together, but I haven’t breathed a word about that to anyone...yet.” You sobered for a minute, thinking of the last time.

He must have seen your face drop, because he stood and placed a hand on your shoulder. There was an understanding in his eyes, gentle and familiar. He treated you like he’d known you all your life, and you were grateful he took you as seriously as he did Aaron. “How many?”

There were so many options for this exchange as well, but I ended up loving the simplest one. There isn’t much that he needs to say. There’s a connection, I believe between Blackwolf and Hotch, and I wanted to extend that link to mom as well.

Your lip quivered and your eyes stung. You swallowed, doing your best to keep it together. “Just the one.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

You whispered your thanks and smiled a watery smile at him before wiping your eyes and getting back to business. “Did you see anything of use over here?”

He dropped his hand from your shoulder and followed your eyes down the path. “No, nothing here. We should track back to the reservation and see if our guest left anything new for us to find.”

You turned, but a hand on your forearm stopped you. “You and Aaron are more alike than different in this, I think, so I’ll tell you this.” You met his eyes, and he seemed to almost look through you as he spoke. “Some things are meant to be carried together. Joy and grief are two of those things that are too heavy to bear on your own. Tell him today.” He released your arm and continued ahead as if he’d said nothing at all.

There’s so much respect in accepting someone’s vulnerability, and then moving forward. It’s doesn’t change how that person sees the other. It’s just human. It’s part of them, and it doesn’t need to color every interaction from that point forward.

My best friend calls these “so noted” moments. You just take the note and move on.

After a moment, you followed him.

The man really is like a fortune cookie.

But he’s right.

+++

You returned to the precinct with a lighter step than before, Blackwolf on your heels. Aaron squinted at you as you walked in, and you could tell he knew something had changed.

Emily and Derek flew through the door behind you, and John pulled you back by the elbow to avoid getting run over in their haste.

Contact!! I wanted to establish a little more familiarity between reader and John after their conversation. It was vulnerable and shifted their boundaries just enough for Aaron to notice.

“We have a lead. Get roadblocks up now,” Emily had her phone out and was on the phone with JJ, who was at the university with Spencer. She spit instructions in only the way she could, and Aaron was hot on your heels as Emily tossed you the car keys and you all flooded out of the building.

The takedown was decidedly eventful, and JJ got a black eye for her trouble. Dave took care of her by the ambulance while Emily directed traffic. You got caught up taking a few statements from the neighbors, and it was late evening by the time you were all on your way back to the hotel.

In the car, Aaron was quiet. Your hands were linked over the center console, and he rubbed little circles into your skin.

“What’s going on with you, honey?” He knew better than to look at you while he asked, but his circles never ceased or stuttered or hiccuped on your hand.

You sighed. “Can I tell you when we’re back at the hotel?”

He nodded. “So, something is on your mind?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, bad?” His tone was prompting, but not pushy, and you appreciated it.

You tried to offer him a smile. “Good, I think.”

He squeezed your hand.

Again, any little moment where I can just let the implication speak for itself is one I’m going to grab. They don’t need to be crazy verbose or explain themselves. They just get it.

And they TRUST EACH OTHER!

+++

You dropped down into the middle of the bed, crossing your legs. Aaron sat across from you, mirroring you with his legs crossed and his hands loose on his knees.

Pajamas were on, teeth brushed, and you were both ready for bed.

You heaved a deep breath. “So, John said something to me today that had me thinking.”

Aaron’s mouth quirked up in a smile. “He has that effect on people.”

“So I’ve heard.” You took his hands. “He said to me today that there are some things that are meant to be carried together, and that joy and grief are two of those things.”

I’d like to think the way Reader started this conversation really freaked him out, but he does his best to stay cool and I’m really proud of him.

His eyes were soft and patient as he waited for you to continue, his mouth relaxed.

“My doctor called today -”

“Are you alright?” He couldn't help but interrupt, and a little huff of a laugh left you.

Ah. There it is. He can’t help himself.

Can you blame him?

“Yeah, I’m fine. She just wanted to tell me I’m due in March, is all.” You let the words tumble out as casually as possible, but your shaky breath betrayed you.

Aaron was quiet for a moment, just looking at you. After what felt like forever, he pulled you forward by your hands, and you crawled into the hollow haven of his body. His hand traced over your arm, the other resting over your temple, as if to hide you from the world.

“Are you upset?” You asked, your voice small.

You felt him shake his head. “Not even a little. In fact, quite the opposite.” He kissed your hair. “How are you feeling?”

The lack of big response was really important to me. If he’s gotten really excited, I think mom would have felt undue pressure, and I think he knew that.

It’s another moment where I got to show that Aaron fully understand what she needs at any given point, and that fact itself isn’t necessarily significant enough to be acknowledged on its own. It’s tacit.

Your fingers wrapped around his arm, and he took his hand from your face, curling his arm around your waist. “I’m really happy, but I’m really scared too...I don’t know.”

“That’s okay, sweetheart.”

Tears pricked at your eyes. “I just - I don’t want to fuck it up this time.”

His hands stilled, and he grew quiet, his voice low. “What?”

“I don’t want to lose this one and I was scared to tell you because if I told you and we lost him, you would be sad and I just don’t want you to be sad and I don’t want you to lose anyone else, ever.” You weren’t sure you were coherent, but that just about summed it up.

That’s the wild thing about grief, you know? It puts all these wild stories in your head that it’s your fault, even when people you love tell you otherwise.

I think even after faith, and even after how well Aaron handled the loss - so supportive and affirming the whole time - there’s this doubt that she’s not good enough, that she could have done something differently.

It’s a doubt Aaron recognizes in himself, and it breaks his heart.

“Baby, look at me.”

You leaned back and met his eyes. He held your gaze as he spoke, almost unblinking. “You did not fuck anything up. It was not your fault. These things happen, and yes, they’re sad. Yes, I grieve for the child I didn’t get a chance to meet. Yes, it’s painful. But honey,” there was a desperate edge to his voice and he wiped your tears away with his thumbs, “you’re my partner and I love you. You don’t have to go through anything alone ever again.”

You nodded. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away.”

He pulled you close again, tight to his chest. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”

He completely understands. I mean, he’s the guy that kept his separation from his team for weeks without breathing a word. He knew that they would be there for him, but he just thought he could do it on his own.

These idiots are made for each other, I swear.

(Well, they are….)

You were quiet for a little while. Then -

“Did you say him?” Aaron’s voice was nearly trembling. Because you knew him so well, you knew it was barely-contained euphoria. You knew he was holding back because he didn’t want to scare you, didn’t want to get too excited in case something went wrong, but his efforts were futile. You saw right through them, and hoped his joy would last and that the worst was behind you.

That’s love and trust, babey!

You turned your head, pressing your nose into his neck. “Just a feeling. I dunno.”

He sighed, his arms winding impossibly further around you. “We’ll just have to see, won’t we?”

You nodded into him.

“When’s your ten-week?”

“Two weeks, on Wednesday.”

His breath washed through your hair as he pressed his cheek to the crown of your head. “Can I come with you?”

He’s learned so much and I cry about it regularly. I just watched that episode where Haley calls him because she’s at Jack’s doctors appointment and he’s not there and he just screws out up and had a big weep about it.

You nodded.

When you woke up in the morning, You were still curled in his arms, on top of the covers, with the lights on. Aaron’s face was pressed into your hair and his body was flush against yours from shoulder to calf.

One of his (truly massive) hands rested over the waistband of your pajama bottoms.

It’s going to be okay.

That concludes this installment! I LOVED going back through this one with a fine-toothed comb. Definitely one of my favorites in this series. I’m so glad so many of you love it like I do!!

#forgottenword #tali answers stuff #tali provides commentary #tali talks cm #a joyful future

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astrarche-x · 3 years

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I read “Fangirl” by Rainbow Rowell after I finished 2 books I got for Christmas. It was staring at me from my sister’s shelf and I’ve heard something good about this book, Rowell is also quite famous YA author, so I decided to give it a try.

It certainly didn’t match my expectations; in fact, my disappointment grew with every page and I grew tired of the heroine, Cath - an introverted first year college student and fanfic writer- and other characters.

Why so?

- At first, I thought that snippets of Cath’s fanfics are a cool addition to the book, because it’s such a crucial part of this character, and I also thought that they will be somehow related to the events happening in-universe. But they weren’t! They didn’t help me as a reader to understand Cath, didn’t expand my understanding of the events of the plot, didn’t really give me any “story within a story” because they were so fragmented (I know there is a whole book about Simon Snow, but that’s not relevant now, is it?) and I already felt like I knew Cath’s writing style after like 3 examples, so idk why there were so many.

- I felt like the characters don’t develop at all. And what’s the point of the story if it’s not character development? In the end of the book, the only thing different from the starting point is the fact that the heroine has a boyfriend. She isn’t more open, she’s still talking to like 2-3 people (and writing is not like a movie, adding a character doesn’t cost you money, right?) and it’s not like those relationships change a lot. Cath and her roommate Reagan? They form a bond in the middle part of the book and it stays the same. Wren, Cath’s twin sister? They lose contact during the plot and Wren has a new friend to prove she’s a separate person, but eventually they make amends and sisters are together again. The other friend disappears. No big talk about being separate people but still needing each other, no reflecting on that in any way; they make amends and then Wren is just there, spending a lot of time with Cath like her own life never happened. Relationship with dad and mum? Stays the same, even though they were written in a way that suggests big plot points.

- Levi, Cath’s boyfriend. He doesn’t have an inner life. He’s just a smiling, nice guy with learning difficulties. But Cath can always feel safe with him and count on him; honestly, how is he different from her ex? Also some can say that Cath and Levi were cute tohether and they kind of were, but for me it was too much sugar and when their relationship became the focal point of the plot I couldn’t take it anymore. How many times a writer can describe the same physical features with exactly the same words? Like yeah, we get it, the character is in love, change the subject.

(Also his attempts at unneccessary chivalry... ugh. Not cute).

- Nick from the library. He was actually the guy I was shipping Cath with (and myself as well, if I had the chance). They had so much chemistry! But it was also strongly hinted at that he won’t be the endgame; in fact, I don’t really see the point of his existence as a character. He’s Cath’s crush, but after he stops playing this role, he’s mentioned only twice and then dropped completely. But the point of him being the crush and the writing buddy/rival is not even relevant! It’s not reflected in Cath in any way except that she’s a bit sad.

- Cath doesn’t develop as a writer. Actually, after reading a few sentences about how writing is so important for Cath etc, I thought that I would see more of her as a writer, but mostly it looks like “...and she wrote 5000 words that night”. No description of creative process. Talk about how her life influences her writing: 2 times (at the end of the book). Pressure from readers who? I don’t know her. Also I was really surprised that she said “I only ever want to write fanfiction, I want nothing of my own!” - like... who would say that? Sure, they are people who just write fanfiction as a hobby, but there are others who start with fanfic and then create their own stories, so if Cath is an established fanfic writer and went on to study English lit and take creative writing class, then having her say something like this sounds super fake.

- Cath herself was a boring protagonist. And I’m not saying this because she was an introvert. Lots of introverts make interesting protagonists; take, for example, Offred from The Handmaid’s tale. Cath is boring not only because she literally sits in her room and cries for like half of the book (giving me Rodion Raskolnikov vibes and he annoyed me like hell), but also because so little of her inner life is described in detail. Like, c’mon, I’ve opened this book, I want to know what’s going on in her head. But instead of paragraphs of her thoughts, we are only given a sentence, maybe two or three. And one of them sounds often like “she thought about all the reasons she had to dislike their mother” but then none of said reasons is listed, making this sentence effectively worthless. Very often Cath’s remarks about other people are repeated; I don’t even want to count how many times she noticed that Levi smiled a lot. And then she noticed noticing it; and then she noticed him smiling even more times. Seriously that’s his only feature? (That and his hair). Because this makes the heroine very unobservant; I don’t want to look at the world through her eyes, because it’s nothing there to see.

- Cath as a (titular) fangirl: she doesn’t really interact with the fandom during the course of the actions in other way than writing and that’s... unusual? Who limits themselves to only one form of fan content? I know she had merch and fanart, but she doesn’t interact with other fans (except for her sister and a random stranger). She also mentions having internet friends at the very beginning, which I assume would be very likely for a fanfic author of her status. Then her roommate says “internet friends are not real” (yes. literally.) and Cath’s internet friends are not mentioned again, because, you know, internet friends are irrelevant to your real life. Generally this book makes it look like belonging to a fandom was about the merch you own and maybe writing your fanfic, if that’s what you use as a coping mechanism for real life. No talk of reading other fanfics, visiting sites like Tumblr or other blogs, no interaction with other fans, no conventions, stuff like this. It made fandom look like something for sad and lonely people, and while it kind of is, it’s also a source of joy and satisfacton for many; in Cath’s case, I only saw it as a straw to which a drowning man clutches.

(Also I found it kinda weird that sex in this book is like Schrodinger’s cat: existent and nonexistent at the same time. Does Cath write erotic scenes? I guess. Is it adressed? Yes. And then immediately dismissed in order not to talk about it. She also wants it and doesn’t want it at the same time, which is fine irl, but confusing in a book, especially when she doesn’t reflect at that confusion much).

I thought I will see in Cath a glimpse of myself - first year of uni was also stressful for me (even though I’m certainly not an internet-famous writer). But she was almost extremely unrelatable. And then I started comparing “Fangirl” with “Loveless” by Alice Oseman, which has very similar setting - first year, loneliness, outgoing roommate, introverted protagonist having trouble opening up, breaking of a sisterly bond, fanfiction (even though Georgia, the protagonist, only reads it). I’d recommend “Loveless” a lot more. You won’t get much talk of the writing process, but hey, you weren’t getting it anyway. You will be given queer characters instead.

My final thought was that I’m probably just too old for “Fangirl”. That it was written for 17-year-olds who are anxious about going to college. But my sister is 17-year-old who is anxious about going to university and she didn’t like this book either (this post is brought to you by our displeased brainstorming last night), so it’s probably just bad, shallow writing.

#fangirl rainbow rowell #rainbow rowell #fangirl book review #well... sort of #loveless #book ramblings #follow up to that angry post from earlier

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ladyonfire28 · 4 years

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I think Céline changed the way I see films. I’m writing this short film and I’ve been like blocked since October but then I watched Water Lillies and I’ve been listening to podcast where she appears and that BAFTA thing someone mentioned and I swear I just sat down last week and time passed by and I couldn’t stop writing. She’s just amazing, I wonder if she does classes or forums, idk. She could be so great at teaching to future women film directors

Her lectures on writing is extraordinary and i’m not even a writer so I can’t even imagine how big her of an impact she had on you ! And i’m so glad to know that you’ve been writing so much thanks to her.

But she’s so inspiring in so many ways. I used to see cinema in a certain way, definitely influenced by the old conventions and the male gaze, but since then i’ve been trying to see it differently and catch what’s wrong with what directors want us to see or not to see. And now I can see it without even trying sometimes haha.

With the “Société des réalisateurs de films” (SRF), which is a french association of directors that she’s part of, she sometimes have conversations/conferences with other directors or writers about stuff they want to talk about. And there’s that one conversation she had with another film writer called Thomas Bidegain, and they talk about writing for 2 hours and it’s so interesting because they have different ways of writing etc. It’s on youtube and there’s no subtitles unfortunately, which is such such a shame, especially for a writer like you !

And also as a “confirmed” writer and director, she helps young directors with the script of their first feature film. In France there’s that kind of “culture” of directors mentoring new and young directors when they can. For instance Céline mentored Aude Léa Rapin for the script of her very first film (she gave up on that script and changed the subject of her first film later on but whatever). But there was another SRF conference with both of them and they talked about how that mentoring worked etc. They would meet and discuss about it, and she would give advise on stuff etc.

So she already helps young directors in a way haha! But she might do more in the future, that wouldn’t surprise me at all !

#ask #anon #céline sciamma #SRF

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combat-wombatus · 3 years

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uHm if you do these and if you want to do it I’d love a bnha matchup <3?

• my name is Aubri, I’m bi but prefer MHA boys tbh. I go by she/her, too.

• I’m a very Gryffindor person. (Sorry if you don’t know Harry Potter - 😖)

• I’m a June cancer, and I have ADHD and anxiety. My anxiety can be literally crippling somedays, but it’s gotten better overtime.

• I’m a bit of a class clown and usually just a clown 🤡 but that’s irrelevant. My teachers all hate me but like school-wise I do well so we have a love and mostly hate relationship 🤧

• I’m usually the ‘entertaining’ friend, in elementary the popular kids would invite me to play games with them because, “you’re funny” and it was like the biggest achievement ever 😭👍🏻 then they’d ignore me but that’s another therapy session

• I’m usually made fun of by people for being ‘weird’ and ‘insane’. Like all through elementary everyone thought I’d be a criminal when I grew up JUST BECAUSE I HAD UNDIAGNOSED ADHD - I hate it here 😐🦶🏻

• I’ve always been super into crime stories/true crime (where my anxiety comes from, I’m always worried about a pesky serial killer just killing me. It’s usually being kidnapped tho lmao) so I knew and still know like all these murder facts and sometimes I’d just randomly be like;

“Hey did you know it takes 12 hours and 2 days to dissolve a body in acid?”

“If you bury a dead deer over a dead body you buried deep in the ground, when police dogs sniff it and people dig they’ll just think it was the deer and won’t dig any farther.”

• So maybe people had a reason to be scared of me and think I’ll be a criminal someday, i dunno.

• I love love love reading and writing, and also debating. The things I’ve wanted to be when I grow up are basically: Dog shelter worker, actress, FBI agent, politician, and a writer. But usually I just want to do something that makes a positive impact on people. Like i wanted to be an FBI agent to solve crimes for people. I wanted to be a politican so I could actually help a lot of people. The entertainment industry also seemed like a way to make people happy. Idk, but then I decided I couldn’t be a politican at 10 because they were all corrupt and to be one I would have to be too. 😫🤌🏻 we love some good childhood angst

• the only subjects I’ve ever excelled at are ELA and Social Studies aka History, and Math I can’t do to save my life. ELA comes easy for me and I usually don’t have to work that hard and/or get too stressed over it. But I always get the meanest teachers for some reason. For example, one time I did my final essay for like 30% of my grade in 30 minutes the day it was due and I got an A+ 🦟🦗🦟🦗

• Uhhh id describe myself as a pretty loyal friend, I’m a ride or die type of girl. A story from my childhood that summarizes it pretty well is when I was in 2nd grade my friend wet her pants and she didn’t want to go to the nurse for it alone so I peed my pants so I could go with her and she wouldn’t have to be alone. Like, you know, a professional problem solver

• and I have genuinely attacked people for fucking with my friends but don’t snitch pls 🕳🏃‍♀️💨

• But also just anyone, people at my school tend to come to me with their problems for me to either help solve them by reasoning, or just to confront the other person like the bad bleep I am 😈😈

• I also have a huge daydreaming problem, it’s literally maladaptive daydreaming. So paired with my ADHD I don’t get shit done like ever.

• I have really high empathy levels I guess, like I always say hi to everyone I see on the street, especially if they look sad 😔 I’ve done it ever since I was a little kiddo.

• My fashion sense is very much a preppy/alt style. I wear those ripped tights and fishnets, I also have the MOST BIZARRE JEWELRY- like who allowed me to buy the gummy worm glittery earrings, hmmm???????? and those Mary Janes???????

• But I love crew necks and pleated skirts so I always obide by the National “hoes dont get cold” policy 🇺🇸😫🦅

• I wanna move somewhere someday, I don’t want to stay in America for very long

• I can speak Latin, French, and my native language which is English.

• My music taste varies, but my all-time favorite artists who all of their music they’ve ever put out has been my favorites are, Billie Eilish, Melanie Martinez, and Conan Gray.

• I no-joke have a sign in my front yard that says;

In ✍️ this ✍️ house we ✍️ don’t ✍️ worship Jesus ✍️ but instead ✍️ Melanie ✍️ Martinez

• My favorite shows are MHA (duh), The Promised Neverland, and Malcolm in The Middle.

• and I’m not going to tell you what I prefer in a partner, because that ruins the fun 😤

• but I will say I cannot be friends with someone who doesn’t really make me laugh. Like I’m used to doing most of the talking in convos but if you’re just boring I’m sorry it’s nothing personal but no thanks 😐✌🏻

• About my physical appearance, I have fluffy n curly brown hair, but when it’s in the sunlight it looks sort of brown but golden yk?? It’s shoulder length :) I have bleach blonde streaks in the front. I like wearing eyeliner most days, too. I’m pretty average size/ on the skinnier side. Kinda high key inscure abt my body bc I got flat shamed in elementary EVEN THOUGH I HAVE TIDDIES NOW- whatever 😤🙄. I also have crystal type blue eyes, and I do have fairly big eyes. But, like, not weirdly big. A good big. My cheekbones are ALWAYS PRESENT so sometimes I get called a Tim Burton character but it’s cool ig ☠️☠️ oh and I’m kinda short. I’m 5’3, even though my doctor said I’d be 5’7. I feel like I was either tricked by the doctor or someone just stole my destined height while I was asleep. It’s probably cause I didn’t keep an eye out for Selener 👁 😔😔

• I’m a definite night owl, like all of my energy comes at night which really sucks cuz I can’t do much since everyone else is asleep.

• My love language is touch starved so I’ve never figured it out ✌🏻😗🔫

• but I am an attention whore so idk 😏

• I’m a huge introvert with social anxiety. It isn’t as bad as it used to be cuz I used to not be able to like go to restaurants but now I’m much better.

• I’m a huge history person, mostly like sad history LMFAO. Uh but a lot of my hyperfixations have been on history. Some examples are The Roman Empire, Julius Caesar himself, Anne Frank, The Titanic, the Black Plauge, Helen Keller, Marie Curie, Slavery in the US, Joan of Arc, and just a lot more. I always love talking about these things if someone would let me ramble to them but no one ever does 😖 it also got to a point where for all these subjects I’d go to the library and try to find a book on them but usually I’d either have already read it or I’d read it and know all the information.

• I’m super into Greek Mythology, I have 7 books filled with the stories, I’m going to Greece maybe this summer to see it’s history, and named my hamster Aphrodite but we call her Aphie. I also will talk about this forever and ever if you let me.

• My favorite color is yellow, my favorite food is literally nothing I never have an appetite, my favorite planet is Saturn, favorite song is Tag Your It by Melanie Martinez atm but it changes like everyday.

• Music is a huge safe-space for me if I’m feeling down or having a panic attack. It calms me down n is overall my coping mechanism 💃🏻💃🏻

• Biggest fear is spiders, even looking at one gives me a panic attack and I cannot sleep at all for that night, adding to my insomniac ass 🧎🏻‍♂️🏌️‍♀️

• I’m mature for my age, I don’t exactly like hanging around kids my age and I get along better with older crowds.

• i don’t like conventional dates, (I PROMISE IM NOT TRYING TO SOUND ‘QUIRKY’ AHAHA) I kind of like having a best-friend type partner more so dates that aren’t as romantic as like the movies or a fancy restaurant suite me better. My dream date is playing Monopoly on my bedroom floor 🦧

• Also I hate getting gifts. End of story. If someone gets me a gift like awe that’s nice but never again, I’d prefer to get you one. Especially in a romantic partner 😐 i keep a journal of my friends’ interests and hobbies so I can get them the perfect gifts for their bdays and Christmas’s. Been doing this ever since 4th grade.

• Though I don’t have much actual experience with relationships🧍🏻‍♀️

• I’m a huge believer in ‘family isn’t blood, it’s who you make it’ because I have a pretty shitty family life and my childhood has been trash. My friends are my family to me.

• Also if my friends don’t like my romantic partner ✨ GOODBYE ✨. Sorry girlie, bros before hoes 🦨💨

I was going to put more but I’m so so sorry for how LONG AND COMPLICATED THIS IS- idk if this is a autobiography or a matchup at this point 🤦‍♀️ don’t feel pressured to do this and if matchups aren’t open IM SO SO SORRY LMAO uh yeah ilysm 🦎🎂🧃

OMG ASLDFKJHASLKDJH

🥺 i’m so sorry bby but matchups are closed ;-; my 100 follower event was over while ago (i guess i should’ve specified that in the asks i answered LKSAJHFLKJAHDS SORRY IT’S MY BAD) but you sound so cool?? i had a lot of the same hyperfixations interests (heLLO helen keller was badass AF and the roman empire was messed up but still v cool, anne frank was awesome too) i also may or may not have wanted to be a politician when i was younger alskdjfhalkdhj but now i’m just 🧍🏻‍♀️ lost and anyways you’re amazing >.< love u lots and don’t forget to drink water and eat a lil something hehe :p

#coco answers #nonnie <3

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jeffsatur · 4 years

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I wanted to write about why I like matteo better than any canon autistic character I've ever seen portrayed. I wrote this a couple nights ago at 2am. It’s a little incoherent but I hope you enjoy it anyway. idk

The biggest part of autistic characters in media is that they're straight awkward nerdy boys who are so naive they can't tell they're being incredibly creepy. That's usually played for laughs.

I didn't see that in Matteo. I saw a boy who dealed with sensory overloads, trouble communicating, he stimmed and so much more. And it wasn't a joke. This made me, an autistic person, feel connected. So back in April I made a few small posts about this. It never caught on much until @gleedegrassi-bigfan wrote an incredibly detailed post. After that it caught on with some other people and I really found out I’m not the only one who felt this way. I'm not rewriting that post. This is about a different aspect. Autism and being lgbt.

Let's go back to the stereotypical straight autistic boy. I have never felt connected with these characters. It was a couple of reasons. Mostly because they're played for laughs. But part of it is because they're straight.

In contemporary media, portrayals of autistic people are typically stereotyped and conventional: heterosexual, cisgender and, more often than not, naïve. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning/queer and similar (LGBTQ+) autistic identities, unfortunately, remain taboo.

Very often autistic lgbt people aren't taken seriously. As if our identity as autistic and lgbt can't go hand in hand. I get des*xualized alot. As if i don't desire love, especially in a gay way. I’m always seen as someone who either has no romantic or sexual feelings at all, or I am straight.

The evidence pointing to sexual-orientation diversity among many autistic people is preliminary but fairly consistent. In a study published last year of nearly 9,000 people, researchers found that attraction to both same-gender and different-gender partners was more common among autistic people than among other people

Similarly, an international study published earlier this year revealed that nearly 70 percent of autistic respondents identify as non-heterosexual — more than double the rate in the general population

So why don't i see that in autistic characters? Well. I didn't until Matteo. Now I know it isn't canon that Matteo is autistic. But i saw enough of myself in him to see it like that. That was already a connection I don't have with others. It is clear to me that matteo isn't neurotypical. He struggles with mental health. Just because there's never a mention of a diagnosis doesn't mean he isn't autistic. I got diagnosed very late myself. Who knows? I think Matteo is getting help in his gap year. With David's support. It's just not being shown on druck. (bis bald)

But then Matteo is also gay. I felt representation as both an autistic and a gay person. A feeling so wonderful I cannot describe it. These two identities might seem seperate to some but for me they're deeply intertwined with eachother. They're what make me the person I am. To see that represented in a character finding his place in the world. Is everything to me.

Those who are LGBTQ and autistic bear the burdens associated with both communities, said Laraine Glidden, a psychology professor emerita at St. Mary’s College of Maryland. They face an array of challenges including rejection from autistic people on the basis of their sexuality or gender and from LGBTQ individuals on the basis of their disability, she added. “It may be the case that individuals in each of those two separate communities might reject them because of the other label,” Glidden said.

THIS is why these two labels are intertwined for me. THIS is why i love matteo. I see myself in him 100%. With my entire identify.

Because when will I see a canon autistic lgbt character? Knowing how most shows and movies often want only one, if we're lucky two, minority characters. Not anytime soon.

I thank whoever actually read this. In conclusion I'm very grateful for Matteo Florenzi. He means the world to me. If it weren't for the druck team, the writers and Michelangelo's incredible performance. I wouldn't have been here writing this at all.

#Druck #Matteo florenzi #Autistic Matteo #Juul.txt

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him-e · 5 years

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Hi, I'm the anon who wrote the 5 asks about the Dany plotline and GRRM. I'd like to apologize to u for lashing out, it was uncalled for and u have every right to state those opinions regardless of what I (or anyone else) think. Feeling hurt by the show wrt Dany's story made me react badly to the idea that it was actually acceptable, especially coming from someone whose ideas I appreciate so much and have spent hours invested on. You can answer them, delete them, idk, I just wanted to say sorry.

No need to apologize, anon! I’m currently on semi-to-full hiatus and that’s why I’m being so slow at answering messages—and yeah, I understand the frustration completely, and I don’t blame you for it. ;))

I’m going to answer your ask anyway. Long reply after the cut:

I hope this doesn’t come off as offensive or confrontational bc that’s not the point, I’ve enjoyed reading your ASOIAF/GoT and TB metas for years and would not reply to them if I weren’t invested on them. That said, I’d like to ask why do you insist on 1) arguing that Dany’s dark turn was reasonable if you don’t hate her and 2) defending D&D and blaming GRRM for what happened on the show. When it comes to 1), sure, Dany might *accidentally* burn KL, but to willingly choose to burn thousands of innocents? She may accept that some casualties would have to occur, but not in the way that the show presented (in that she had the choice to not kill anyone but did). You argue that that direction was valid of because of the recurring theme of how power corrupts, but then I’d argue, what if it were Sansa, another character very much involved in the world of politics? Would you be ok if people argued that it’d make sense for her to give up her ideals and become just as power-hungry and cynic and bitter as Littlefinger? Probably not; what’s the point if those characters become their worst possible selves? Dany was made a villain, was implied to be mad and was called “your satanic majesty”. I really can’t see how you could call those writing decisions valid. When it comes to 2), I’m not saying GRRM is perfect, he’s been quite callous in the book series and especially in F&B when it comes to social issues, but D&D are also professional writers with critical thinking skills and moral values of their own who could have tried to alleviate the problems in the books and not made things even worse. That’s why I don’t get why you’re blaming GRRM for what D&D wrote when the former wasn’t even involved in the ending’s writing process aside from possibly giving them an outline of what happens. GRRM should be criticized for what he wrote and will write, and the finale may have feel been a product of his ideas, but he still has no (moral or legal) responsibility in helping to make the TV show better or worse.

The reason why I maintain that the show’s ending is a (badly written) version of GRRM’s ending is that I can 100% see Martin’s blueprint in the climax+anticlimax structure of the season. The way it twists the audience’s expectations and delves into what happens AFTER the final battle is won, the way it subverts the most reliable narrative conventions and, instead of building up in a crescendo towards a final spectacle where the heroes would sacrifice their lives to save the world in a blaze of glory, it shifts gears almost unpleasantly, slows down to show what happens to them once their heroic purpose is fulfilled and zooms in on their identity crisis, their depression and isolation and sudden lack of purpose… it’s all too deliberate, and IN MY PERSONAL OPINION it’s done with a vision in mind—something I don’t believe d&d would spontaneously put any effort in, especially not if GRRM had already served them a perfectly fine, crowd-pleasing endgame involving Dany’s heroic sacrifice against the Others.

I understand my stance might come across as “defending d&d and blaming GRRM”, but I’m really not? I’ve often repeated how I believe d&d messed things up and that GRRM’s version will make infinitely more sense and be infinitely better written, and I’m sure he will avoid the pitfalls of cynical, circular storytelling, because he’s ultimately a better writer and someone who believes in idealism and true heroism even as he deconstructs it. How can the overall narrative remain uplifting & give a message of hope and faith for humanity while still telling a story that ends with Dany’s descent into “true villainy” (but haven’t we repeated ad nauseam that heroes and villains are too reductive categories for asoiaf?), I don’t know, but it’s not my job to figure it out, and I ultimately trust & respect Martin’s vision and ability to tell the story HE wants.

sure, Dany might *accidentally* burn KL, but to willingly choose to burn thousands of innocents? She may accept that some casualties would have to occur, but not in the way that the show presented

1) I’ve always conceded that, while I think the gist of the storyline is Martin’s, there’s absolutely no guarantee that the battle of King’s Landing will go as we’ve seen in the show, or even happen at the same point of the story (for one thing, Young Griff & JonCon will probably be involved, and that seems more likely to happen before, and not after, the war for the dawn);

2) That said, what I’m relatively confident of, at this point, is that Dany will NOT die in the WftD as a self sacrificial hero (this is entirely FANON SPECULATION, and people treating it like a fixed point in the universe, something the narrative is “inevitably” building towards, is one of the reasons the fandom seems unable to critically analyze show!Dany’s evolution without going hysterical about it and resorting to no true scotsman arguments. I’ve often complained about the dangers of elevating fan theories to canon status, and trust me I never wanted to go full cassandra about this, but here we are). The details and plot points leading up to this might be wildly different from the show’s version, but I think Dany will survive the WftD, which will leave her directionless and purposeless and doubting the truth of her heroic destiny for the first time in her life after she hatched the dragons, and that she’ll cross the ultimate moral horizon in a hail mary to restore that sense of self, that sense of purpose, completing her parabola from princess in rags, to breaker of chains, to conqueror, to savior of humanity, to conqueror again, to TRAGIC HERO. How can this be a valid writing decision, you asked—well, why shouldn’t it? Is something only valid as long as it pleases the audience? What screams tragic hero more than the hero turning into the very thing she swore to eradicate, and realizing it only when it’s too late? There’s something genuinely chilly in Dany’s “if I look back, I’m lost” refrain. This is the mantra of someone who thinks the only way to stay alive is to cross one threshold after the other. So far this coping mechanism has brought her higher, and higher, and higher. But what if it will be her downfall? “I tried to grasp a star, overreached, and fell”, indeed;

3) Dany’s burning KL *accidentally* is like Stannis burning Shireen “but only if the circumstances are dire enough / the stakes are high enough”. No offense, but this is typical stan logic: you admit the possibility that your faves might go through a dark phase but you don’t want to have to unstan them, so you want them to do bad things for good reasons, or because there’s no other choice, or because “they didn’t know”. That’s understandable, but I don’t think Martin is the type of writer to give his character free passes or soften the blow of their moral crucibles like that. This is NOT to say that the show did Dany’s dark turn WELL, because it DIDN’T—her motivations were all over the place, the turning point (the bells) wasn’t believable because it lacked connection to her character arc, the narrative backed away from showing the attack from her pov which betrays the writers’ inability to make sense of this psychological downfall from HER perspective, etc. But to say “Dany will NEVER! BURN! INNOCENTS! ON PURPOSE!” sounds very, very premature to me.

(re: Sansa, hasn’t power corrupted her too, to an extent? Hasn’t she lied, schemed, manipulated, spilled secrets, in order to restore & secure the Stark hold on the North? Isn’t she queen, in part, because the rest of her family was scattered at the four corners of the known world? I’m not particularly happy with the way she was written this season, and I think some of her choices were questionable; but at the same time I reject the idea that a character ending up more flawed, or morally ambiguous, or less likeable than they were at the beginning must necessarily be bad storytelling)

I’m not saying GRRM is perfect, he’s been quite callous in the book series and especially in F&B when it comes to social issues, but D&D are also professional writers with critical thinking skills and moral values of their own who could have tried to alleviate the problems in the books and not made things even worse. That’s why I don’t get why you’re blaming GRRM for what D&D wrote when the former wasn’t even involved in the ending’s writing process aside from possibly giving them an outline of what happens. GRRM should be criticized for what he wrote and will write, and the finale may have feel been a product of his ideas, but he still has no (moral or legal) responsibility in helping to make the TV show better or worse.

Martin is not responsible of the show’s writing, but he is responsible of the outline he gave to the showrunners, and right now I have no reason to believe they didn’t follow it, at least for the most part. For years I’ve been told that “the show is not the books”, and while that’s certainly true, I can’t, and won’t, separate the show from the books when it comes to book speculation, because the show is still for all intents and purposes an ADAPTATION of the book series, and while it’s irresponsible to expect it to be a 1:1 transcription of what will happen in TWOW and ADOS, it’s also equally (imo) irresponsible to act like the two canons have nothing to do with each other and that it’s stupid to use the show as a resource for book speculation. If people want to pretend the show never happened, good for them, but that’s not the way I think, personally. I don’t blame GRRM for the show’s faults, and my reservations are actually 90% about the EXECUTION of the plot which is ENTIRELY on d&d, but there’s a 10% of my concerns that is about the IDEA in itself, regardless of context and execution—the idea of the story ending with a bittersweet anticlimax involving the death/downfall of the MOST PROMINENT FEMALE HERO OF THE SERIES, who is also the carrier of the most subversive anti-establishment political message in the story.

tldr: I’m not criticizing GRRM for what he hasn’t written yet, but I can certainly criticize him for what I think is a (however botched) adaptation of his outline, if the main selling points of said outline are questionable in themselves. No one can convince me that GRRM told d&d that Jon and Dany would die heroically to save the world and they ARBITRARILY decided to fuck it up for shock value or whatever, and just accidentally stumbled onto a more subversive and provocative ending than what Martin HIMSELF was planning. (that would make them two geniuses, even if the execution sucked, lol)

and if i’m wrong about it, well:

but until then…

#anon #asks #got wank #got asks for ts #got discourse #got finale #got negativity #show vs books #dany discourse #dany**#grrm #asoiaf spec #asoiaf endgame

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shkspr · 5 years

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i was thinking about the similarities between tenrose (+ninerose) and a/c and i had a thought - rtd would’ve done a really great job with a/c. i feel like he would actually portray what neil retroactively claims he was trying to portray aka non-conventional romance.

i dont think these two asks were from the same person but every time i tried to answer them, there was a lot of overlap in my responses, so i’m putting em together

it’s interesting bc i feel like there’s no real consensus as to whether or not it’s baiting? like ive seen a lot of twitter folks for example say that it’s really clear they’re in love and they don’t need to kiss or anything to affirm that. idk i feel really conflicted bc im seront valid arguments on both sides of the debates. it’s definitely not like other baity ships i’ve come across before, that i can say.

this got reeeeeaaaally long so tl;dr: i don’t hate neil, i love the book and the show beyond human comprehension, but i do think it’s baiting and i am a bit upset about it. authorial intent should not stop anybody from interpreting or responding to it in whatever way they prefer, but it is important in the discussion of baiting and representation. i’m not waving a pitchfork, i’m just a gay person critically enjoying a piece of media.

okay so… for me, what’s on the screen is not the issue, you know. a/c is very like tenrose, in a lot of ways. ten & rose never properly kissed, they never properly said “i love you,” there was never anything explicit in the show that said they were in what we would consider a romantic relationship, except for quips that could be written off as jokes (like “that was our first date”).

and it does help that it’s a het ship, so there’s less…conscious denial of it, i think. but also. rtd and julie and david and billie and everybody involved has said time and time again that they were in love. bc that’s what was written. and it was obvious. it was clear, on the screen, that they were in love, even if they never explicitly said it. and it was never a question, it was just the truth.

and with the exception of a few qualms (like the fact that they like… never touch), i think a/c is the same. it is obvious, from what was written and how it was acted, that they are in love. the issue, for me, is firstly, that neil fully knows how important this relationship is to a great number of his fans, and chose to ramp up those aspects of the relationship in the show to a ridiculous level, knowing that people would see it like that, took it right up to the precipice without allowing one toe over the line, and still says it isn’t a romance.

and secondly, that he’s patting himself on the back for writing it, for appealing to the audience like that, for the support of the relationship, not realizing that people support that relationship in spite of him. the other day he retweeted a tweet calling it a “slow burn love story” and it’s just like… you can’t write a fantastic romance, claim it isn’t a romance, and then congratulate yourself for writing a fantastic romance. it’s not fair.

it’s kind of like. some months ago, i saw a post made by someone saying that they saw themself in a&c because they were asexual, and they appreciated that a&c have a clearly profound connection without it being overtly sexual. and that is valid, absolutely, that fan: valid. but then i saw neil had either liked or reblogged it, i don’t remember, and that made me uneasy, because… he didn’t write a loving asexual relationship. he wrote a relationship that he knew would be interpreted by many as a romance, and included several jokes at their expense, and then chose to no-homo it basically by saying they don’t have sex. that’s not… that’s not representation of any kind.

neil’s favorite line is that what’s on the page/screen is canon, and he supports fans having headcanons and whatnot, but canon is canon. and that’s. true, obviously. but it’s not a coincidence that the show is so much more out there with the romantic aspects, and it’s not a coincidence that it still just barely manages to not be “canon.” and while i’m at it, i’d be remiss not to mention that it’s not a coincidence that it’s only the gay relationship that gets this treatment.

like, i’ve spoken about this before just as an issue that i have with the book in general, but it gets even more upsetting when considered alongside aziraphale and crowley’s relationship. newt and anathema have no chemistry whatsoever. the narration from his pov mentions several times that she’s hot, and that’s it. she shows no signs of liking him, at all, and he shows no signs of liking her beyond a superficial physical attraction, and he has zero qualities that would make it worth her even considering him as a romantic option. but we’re supposed to accept that relationship, because it’s canon.

shadwell and tracy also have literally no chemistry. he’s useless and mean and racist and treats her like garbage, and one of her only defining character traits is that she… likes that about him? like literally their entire relationship is him being awful to her, and her doing things for him because he’s a grown man who can’t feed himself, for some reason. and we’re supposed to accept that as a relationship, too, because it’s canon.

crowley and aziraphale have a 6000-year-long relationship full of trust and understanding, overcoming obstacles, bonding over their love of humanity, choosing each other over their loyalties to their respective sides, saving each other, helping each other, knowing each other’s interests and quirks, showing each other, over and over again, that they love each other. that’s the story that was written. so you’ll have to forgive me for being a bit put out when the writer tries to simultaneously insist that he didn’t write it like that and that he did write it like that, somehow.

listen. i’m not saying i’d prefer it if the relationship was toned down. i’m not saying i’d prefer it if neil was going full rowling and claiming that they’re both canonically straight, or some shit. i’m not saying the relationship is worthless if they’re not making out. i’m just saying… i guess the bottom line of what i’m saying is: purposely dialing up the gay subtext in order to appeal to fans of the relationship without making it canon is literally the definition of queerbaiting. even if you repeatedly state that it won’t be canon, it’s still baiting. you’re using the relationship to reel in viewers who will be grateful for those table scraps because we’re in no position to complain, right?

and it is different from other baity ships, in my opinion, because it is a genuinely very well-written love story. like the only example of baiting i really have expertise on is probably bbc sherlock, and that is different. it’s different because neil knows how to write a love story, and he knew he was doing it, whereas moffat does not know how to write a love story, and he wasn’t trying to. he was just trying to write a weird friendship with a wacky homophobic remark thrown in once an episode, to appeal to fans who would gnaw at that bone because we were starving.

neil, on the other hand, has dangled a picture of a feast in front of our eyes and it’s like… it’s good art, it’s just not good food. it’s good writing, it’s just not good representation. and i, a gay fan, feel alienated and invalidated by the fact that he knew that was exactly what he was doing. it’s just a bit of a cop-out, is all, and i’m a little disappointed in how he’s handling it in his interactions with the fandom, but that’s not new.

#Anonymous #gotv spoilers #not really??? but mayb??#i'm sorry if ur on mobile ://

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