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swearingcactus · 8 months

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DETAILS IN FAR CRY 6 THAT I FOUND ON MY SECOND RUN THAT I CURSE UBISOFT FOR NOT EXPLORING FURTHER

this is a long ass post so im putting it under the read more tag haha woops

Dani was 18 when the orphanage let them go for being of-age (in May 2014), About a month later in June 2014, they were drafted into the military. They stayed in the military for 3+ years, as evident from a letter of warning issued to them in 2017 because they were doing black market smuggling. (I wish they explored more on this instead of just putting it in as letters we can find because it would've answered Dani's perhaps overtly casualness in doing smuggling activities for Bembe.)

Speaking of Bembe, remember the boat that Alejo and Dani were supposed to ride on to get away from Yara? It turns out Bembe was the one who got them that spot in the boat, with a letter sent to Alejo to leave with his friend that night. Since Bembe and Dani didn't know each other before the events in-game, Alejo must have contacted Bembe alone. This makes his death (and his ghost blaming Dani for it) hit a lot harder, considering Alejo had done the heavy lifting to get them both out of Yara, and Dani still didn't manage to do so.

If you leave to find Libertad, but go back to the beach where Lita's body is still there, Dani will question Lita's opinion that what had happened was fate. (Before sadly and bitterly telling her to rest in peace.)

Despite this, a treasure hunt in El Este has Dani look for boats named after the Legends of '67. One of the boats is named Roja Victoria, to which Dani laughs at the name and says it's fate.

The 6 in Dani's default outfit/baseball jersey might be a reference to them being the protag for far cry 6 (hurhur)

Dani's big dream after moving to Miami is to open a bodyshop called Huérfanos (orphans), (which is a weird ass branding for a business and I'm thankful that the evil ghost of Alejo talked shit about it 😭)

With two different voice actors (and surprisingly slightly different animations for cutscenes), there's a lot of differences on body language and how male and female dani talk with the other cast. Some notable differences are:

female dani tend to be calmer when talking to people, which makes her being the representative of Libertad trying to bridge communications a great choice. In comparison, male dani is more brash, but it fits with them being a nobody orphan from Esperanza with a Libertad armband that people are initially constantly hostile with.

when meeting espada, female dani caught espada's blade without flinching (badass). male dani pulled his head back as he caught it and was jittery after, which in reality would be more realistic.

male dani's character model is significantly more roughed up and bloodied during the torture scene in comparison to female dani's (booooo!!)

female dani sounded way nicer to diego, gently asking "and you won't be? 😔🥺" at diego's insistence that his father was only evil because he was brought up that way. male dani was straight up yelling the line "AND YOU WON'T BE ‼😤🤬" which makes the ensuing scene where diego almost shoot them hilarious with male dani's threat to shoot diego be much realer. that man was ready to throw hands with a 13 year old roblox player.

Also if you pay attention, Diego's screen during the hotel raid is a paused FPS game that kid is a #gamerrrr, and it's hilarious that the implication he's in the hotel suite is just because he wants to peacefully game. (also also Diego might just be the second canonical gamer in Far Cry, considering Jason's the first. Nick Rye from FC5 is also a gamer but he seems to only play arcade games. Vaas being a gamer with his knowledge of Silent Hill is debatable as the DLC may or may not be canon.)

back to male and female dani's differences, during the dinner scene where Antón was threatening to kill Clara and Juan was going to shoot Diego, f!Dani kept staring at Diego and quite obviously says "Juan." warningly, while m!Dani glances at Diego before closing his eyes and whispers Juan under his breath. (Personally m!Dani's approach to try and warn Juan without letting Antón know is more nuanced imo)

m!Dani panicked more when Clara was shot than f!Dani, but f!Dani panicked and yelled out "DIEGO, NO!" when Diego was shot in comparison to m!Dani's quiet horror

m!Dani has a more snappy/accusatory tone when talking to Clara when he was going to meet Máximas Matanzas, re:how a lot of people got hurt due to the riots that they caused in Esperanza. this makes his interaction with them a lot more interesting, since it's obvious Dani disagrees with plenty of their actions (Talia killing Marquessa, his initial annoyance at Bicho, Paolo killing that doctor after getting the intel, etc.)

Valle de Oro is the ONLY time in-game that Dani complains that they have done plenty of things for the faction and demanded them to do something (the rap show) in exchange.

this also makes Dani's relationship with Bembe interesting especially with how Dani doesn't deny Bembe's line about not lying to their friends. Dani was just saying what they needed to say and did what they needed to do to get Máximas Matanzas with Libertad, not because they actually actively like them. Dani possibly didn't kill Bembe because deep down they agree with him to a certain level.

This is a bit of a stretch, but I'd like to say that at the end of Máximas Matanzas's arc, Dani agrees with Juan that their music was no Pedro Torrero, and might hint that Dani (like Juan) dislikes their voice and takes on the revolution, as well as being another way to cement the whole 'Dani will wind up like Juan, an adrenaline junkie addicted to the revolution' narrative.

Another case in point, Dani's much friendlier with Espada and with La Moral's crew, having heartfelt calls with Espada and partying along with La Moral.

Máximas Matanzas suffers a lot as being the most disliked part of the game, if Dani did dislike them and it was made as part of the story, it would actually make the whole thing way more interesting.

Another way Máximas Matanzas arc could've been better executed is if they just explored Talia's POV & the True Yaran Academy storyline further. A big part of why people hate the arc is because of Talia's constant bitching and ordering of Dani around and absolutely no plan other than being loud. The important thing about Talia is: her anger is just covering for her fear. We see this when she's visibly nervous (and hiding it with anger that they WON'T stop the show even as the FND is raiding their location), and when she shrinks when Maria started berating her and Paolo's ideals, something that must have been drilled onto her in the academy. Talia eventually snaps and kills Maria, a very, VERY, bad decision that paints Libertad in a bad light-- but if we had an insight to how the brainwashing worked like what happened in FC5 with Faith's region? Or see shells of people like the Marshall in 5, who were successfully brainwashed and what Talia feared to become? I think the storyline would've went very differently. regardless of Dani's opinion of her and how it would still be a dumb decision, we'd still understand where she was coming from-- something most players don't in the current storyline.

When you kill El Doctor, when Dani was still hallucinating, if you wait long enough and let El Doctor mock Dani, saying that orphans make the best test subjects, Dani would frustratedly yell at him to shut up.

Other than being likened to Juan, Dani is also called similar to El Tigre (being the fist of the revolution/the hero) and also to Lobo. The latter is interesting, because there is a lot of similarity between Lobo-Santos and Dani-Clara. Santos/Clara is the educated politician with a squeaky clean public image who orders the previously nobody Lobo/Dani around to do the dirty work. the only difference between them is that Lobo eventually snapped and aimed to rule Yara tyrannically and was put down. its a good thing Dani seems to have zero ambition! haha :)

After El Tigre hugs Dani when they first meet, Dani angrily tells him to "never do that again." we see that he actually honors this request. the next time El Tigre congratulates Dani for successfully taking back the hotel for La Moral, he just settled for a very enthusiastic handshake and shoulder squeeze

Yelena is catholic, she makes a cross before talking to her boyfriend's grave. Most yarans seem to be catholic but it seems like from the main cast, she's the only one other than the Castillos who's explicitly religious

Dani is also religious but to the native religion of Yara: Triada.

The religion is banned and deemed as a savage practice, and Dani mentions that they haven't seen the Triada symbols around since they were a kid.

The only other person who seems to worship the Oluwas that is named is the father of Zenia Zayas, Elisio, a propaganda artist who became depressed after his divorce and then turned to work with the FND. He became obsessed with the Oluwas and seemed to become insane with his worship to Ida, the Oluwa for passion, fire and war.

Dani is special in their devotion to the Oluwas because it seems that they did gain special favor from the gods, being able to get into the deepest magical caves and was deemed worthy by Oluso, the guardian. This makes Dani similar to Ajay in how they are somewhat chosen ones that doesn't go insane even with their proximity to supernatural powers like normal humans do (Ajay's being his multiple travels to Shangri La and visions as Kalinag that he brushes off like a whole chad.)

This is not a new detail but I'm gonna put it here since it's not mentioned anywhere in the wiki. The Triada features 3 Oluwas: Ida (a male Oluwa for passion, fire and war), Oku (a female Oluwa of water, life, and justice) and Mimo Abosi (Oluwa of wind, trickery, and luck).

There seems to be a lot of concept art re: dark magic rituals that didnt make the final cut except as easter eggs:

last but not least: dani is canonically short :)

#far cry 6 #far cry #good fucking luck reading all this #im cringe but i am free motherfucker!#far cry analysis #add more if yall find anything pls #this doubles as my rant post honestly

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no-one-anon · 1 year

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More incorrect quotes!

{fun fact: reqs are open - please I need ideas}

Y/N: *Fed up with everyone*

Y/N: Put your hands up if you've lied awake at 3 A.M

Ghost: ...

Price: ?

Y/N: Promising yourself all the things, that you think that you'll never do again.

Gaz: ...

Soap: *awkward cough*

Y/N: Puts your hands up if you dream about running away, somewhere you can get a little wild for a night.

Ghost: *tenses up*

Price: *wtf*

Y/N: Put your hands up if you've been manipulated by the masses, by the people who just want to complicate you.

Soap: *puts hand up*

Gaz: *shuffles around*

Y/N: By the ones who only want to see you crash and burn, or tell me honestly.

Y/N: The things you yearn for, do you want the voices to stop? In and out of your head.

The whole 141: ...

Y/N: Excuse me, sir

Graves: ?

Y/N: She's pregnant, could you give up your seat?

Random lady: 😅

Graves: If you're pregnant, stay at home. Why did you come out and annoy everyone?

Y/N: Excuse me, mister. Why are you so rude?

Random lady: It's okay..

Graves: Look at this little punk talking back to me. Kids these days are such pricks..

Price: A pregnant man is sitting in a reserved seat, why are you complaining?

Y/N: 🤨

Graves: 😤

Ghost: Look at him.

Soap: His belly is big and round!

Gaz: That must be a girl!

Everyone: 💀

Graves: How dare you taunt me?!

Price: Hey hey hey! Goodness, please stay seated.

Soap: I can tell by your belly you're almost due.

Gaz: Congratulations on your pregnancy, in this era of low birth rates.

Graves: Hey, driver! Let me off!

Ghost: Have a seat.

Random lady: Thank you, young man.

Y/N: What colour, is radiation? 😄

Gaz: Green!

Soap: Brown.

Y/N: Ding ding ding!

Price: It's see through, isn't it? I would've thought it's see through.

Y/N: It's mostly invisible.

Gaz: Yeah-

Ghost: IT'S NOT A COLOUR! YOU CAN'T ASK A COLOUR IF IT'S INVISIBLE!

Y/N: Well...

Ghost: What colour is it? IT'S INVISIBLE!

Everyone: *Losing their minds*

Y/N: We've reached the point in this meeting, where Ghost's medication has worn off.

Ghost: It's just kicking in.

Y/N: Random man shouting from the corner, would you like to share that with the room?

Random man: I'm dyslexic, I'm autistic, and I didn't get the joke. I'm sorry.

Y/N: I've picked on one of my own tonight..

Everyone: 💀

Y/N: I'm so sad... Yes it's true..

Y/N: He's.. autistic and dyslexic.

Y/N: But I'm dyslexic, autistic and gay!

Y/N: I've bloodied out equalitied you!

Everyone: *cheering*

Y/N: Man there in the jacket, with no tie you look cute!

Y/N: But you're bloody poor if you can only afford half a bloody suit..

Everyone: *Laughing*

Y/N: What do you do with yourself, man in the jacket?

?: *No answer*

Y/N: He doesn't bloody know! He's a Russian spy!

Everyone: 💀💀

Y/N: What's your name?

Random dude: Tom.

Y/N: He knows his name! But won't say his job?..

Y/N: I'm impressed, Tom's girlfriend/wife/lady next to him/random stranger he might not be related to at all-

Y/N: What the bloody hell does he do?

?: I don't know!

Everyone: *Absolutely losing it*

Y/N: Clearly Tom is waiting until he's got in bed with her! Till he tells her that he's her abductor!

Y/N: They kicked me out of the 141! "Kick this evil bastard out!

Y/N: That was the news, but guess who came to my defence?

Soap: Who?

Y/N: Just take a guess.

Gaz: Uh, Ghost?

Y/N: No. Kate Laswell.

Soap: Kate Laswell shut it down?!

Y/N: She said, 'This person has done nothing wrong to this task force. They can come.'

Y/N: What's your name sir?

?: Tom!

Y/N: Don't ruin your name, when your name's so class!

Y/N: Don't ruin your name, don't bloody cut it in half.

Y/N: Don't just be Tom, be Tom arse!

Y/N: ..I want to see your arse!-

Y/N: No seriously -

Everyone: *Laughing their heads off*

Y/N: What do you do for a living, Tom?

Tom: Magician!

Y/N: See me later, I'm a magical queer!-

Y/N: I can make something disappear 🤭

Ghost: You've been very drunk for the last hour..

Y/N: Me? Or you?

Y/N: *Stands up and walks two steps before collapsing*

Price: You.

Gaz: Hello!

Soap: Hey baby girl.

Y/N: Hello,

Soap: Hey Y/N.

Gaz: Why didn't he call you baby girl. Are you not gonna say baby girl? 🤨

Soap: Nah I'm terrified, I'll be honest. My timbers are absolutely shivered.

Y/N: So, Soap.

Soap: Mhmm...

Y/N: Why are you so nervous?

Soap: Uh.. Ah.. Uhm..

Y/N: Uh huh...

Soap: *Runs away*

Ghost: Mama raised a coward.

#captain john price #captain john price x reader #john price x reader #john price #john soap mactavish #cod fanfic #john soap mactavish x reader #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley

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spacehostilityy · 8 months

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NNT Rewatch s2ep7-12 !!

(Still from my drafts! Just moved back to college yesterday and today and classes start tomorrow. Wish me luck! My schedule sucks this year so I'll need it lol)

man this is flying by!! but lucky me, the druids’ holy land arc is one of my favorites

King learning throughout this season that not only does he need the other Sins, but they need and love him is so sweet. I just love the character development they all go thru this season

draw him like one of your french girls ~~

I love that Matrona has purple eyes like Diane, the small details really make it

I actually NEED to know what Monspeet and Meliodas’s relationship was prior to his betrayal. “I can’t believe HE’S the one who sensed us” ?? Whats that about🤨 also zeldris and monspeet seem to have been in good terms, like were they all friends?

I don’t know how its possible, but Monspeet’s voice is even hotter in spanish

I love that despite galand not being able to lie, they still don’t believe his stories lol

KAJSDKWUDFL I forgot how shocked i was with the reveal that Merlin stole Mel’s power i just love the druid training arc sm

theyre so silly i love them

do we know why jenna and zaneri don’t have wings? are they just hidden with magic or something??

okie so apparently they’re just inhabiting human bodies and their real bodies had wings. found this on the wiki, do we know where the info comes from?

WAIT do jenna and zaneri know elizabeth?? Like KNOW her?

HAHAHA this part always destroys me

ngl the best thing seven deadly sins as an narrative does is portray the intense agony and trauma from mel and ellie’s curses

anyway... the fact that Meliodas and Zaratras were of equal rank when they met is kinda funny

the absolute horror on meliodas’s face when he hears liz is just PERFECT

liz is so slay she’s everything i want elizabeth liones to be

King: uhh hey jenna...🥺 what are you planning to have us do in there😓

Jenna: isnt it obvious??? 🤨 rigorous training 😤😤

the way they cut btwn scenes of meliodas abt to lose it and him and liz being happy is just so well done

I love that they were trying to get Meliodas to abandon his emotions to keep his rage in check and then when he actually has no emotions we find out that he’s straight up evil and much, MUCH worse than before lol

the tears pooling on their insanely pointy chins always gets me lol. but also mel just violently sobbing and then suddenly being fine. Mans has serious issues with repression that can def be drawn to his daddy issues

BAN/ZHIVAGO ARC😭😭😭 a few observations: Ban is very clearly influenced by Zhivago’s style, like the clothes are so similar, the fact that they sent Ban to Aberdeen prison and his favorite is Aberdeen ale makes me think he associates it with his dad, Zhivago was hot, Ban mirrors Zhivago’s words to him to Elaine, Zhivago tells Ban to never trust humans and the only humans he ends up trusting are Escanor and Jericho, zhivago has lived in misery about the deaths of his children for almost 40 years :(

idk why this is one of my fave arcs it’s literally just angst lol

gil and howzer as boyfriends. Discuss.

seeing gowther fight hand to hand is actually pretty cool, i had assumed he was weak like king but he can hold his own

how did king not clue in when galand literally opened with “Meliodas its been such a long time” like BABE CMON

BAN TELLING JERICHO SHE’S HIS WALLET 😭😭

meliodas just mocking king for his lack of wings is always funny. nothing like a dick joke to make you feel better after Zhivago’s death

I HAVE to do a meliodas self hatred/relationship to being a demon post, i have so many thots

I LOVE WHEN HE GOES TO SEE THE 10 COMMANDMENTS HES SO BADASS

monspeet shielding Derieri from the rocks with his cape🥺

melascula is so sassy i love her

estarossa is my deranged babygirl i love him. that fucking freak

I JUST KNOW TAIZOO AND THAT LITTLE TWINK ARE FUCKING

taizoo is a bottom.

meliodas somehow has 15 year old rizz. like the fucking blond boys.

(not so) fun fact: Elaine is my mom’s name so its a little weird

nakaba’s size kind seriously needs to be studied

ESCANORRRRRR

okie doke that’s it join us next time !!

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frecklystars · 4 months

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yeah he is a serial killer but hes also hugely misogynist so watch out for that

GOD. WHAT HASN'T THIS MAN DONE?? anyway thank you for the heads up hahaha. I'm assuming you're talking about Patrick Bateman, since a reblog of a gifset w/ him was queued and I wrote in the tags "this guy keeps getting F/O recommended to me but I hear he's a serial killer" or something equivalent lol. hugely misogynist huh? being a serial killer wasn't enough for the guy... he probably won't end up being my F/O when I see the film but I'm still extremely curious. I appreciate you looking out for me btw ❤

I think that's kind of funny considering my current main F/O is like... a textbook misogynist, yet I'm still like "ew, a character who disrespects women? Disgusting 😤😤 not in MY house!!!!" meanwhile Ken Carson is RIGHT HERE holding out his hand and expecting me, his "bridewife/long term distance low commitment casual girlfriend", to brewski beer him while he plays the guitar at me for 4 hours straight. He's better now though, he isn't like that anymore, it's fine ha ha haaa

I think it's hilarious and kind of baffling how people keep recommending Patrick to me as F/O material. Like, yes, I fall in love with everyone, yes I have a soft spot for evil characters. But Patrick Bateman seems like such... a... oh my god what's the word? I know the title of the movie is American Psycho but shit they really aren't messing around huh... I've only heard like 2 or 3 things about this guy but he's horrifying to me LMAO like... do people think I can fix him? Do people think he'd make me happy? or are people trying to set me up on a blind date with him so I'd get murdered? 🤔🤔

I know two people recommended him to me because "he sobs pathetically" and god I love a pathetic weeping man drenched in his own tears 😩😩 and another person recently told me I'd love his vocal patterns (voices is a special interest of mine). They sent me a 30 second video clip of him just talking, and mannnnn this dude has some exaggeratedly beautiful vocal patterns, everything he does is heightened to the max and his delivery and breath control is STUNNING. UGH. LOVE IT.

When I watch the movie I'm gonna have one of my best friends watch it with me, they can handle horror while I absolutely cannot ❤ they are gonna hold my hand the entire time and skip over anything if it's too scary. They've also looked up all of the trigger warnings already, so 👍 I shall be fully prepared.

You know what's funny? This guy is appearing in my dreams because he won't stop being mentioned to me. I'm having dreams about this fictional serial killer who can sweat on cue. I am having dreams about this man who would murder over eggshell watermarked business cards(?) bringing me a huge bouquet of flowers and dipping me in the moonlight and kissing me so sweetly. And what's even funnier is I'll tell my friends about the dreams and I'll be like "hehe maybe I'll add him to my F/O list after all, even if I don't end up watching the movie, he seems so sweet in my dreams" and they immediately reply "KERI YOU DON'T WANT HIM!!!!!!!!"

#he most likely won't be F/O. but he is kissed on the cheek at least #maybe I'll stab him with my cupid's arrow and have him bleed to death in my arms 🥰#he'd love that surely. i do not take my villain ships seriously half the time lmao #anonymous #asks #anyway that was nice of you to reach out to me anon tysm!

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bylertruther · 2 years

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Halloween Byler ask! 🎃👻

What scary movie would Byler watch?

What costumes would Byler wear? Either couple or with the party

hello! :D

hmmmmm. mike and will spend the entire month of october watching spooky movies of course, so i'll give you both era appropriate answers and modern!au answers!

regardless, their movie marathon starts off relatively mild (which mike disagrees with vehemently, because will's definition of "mild" is NOT what any normal person considers mild at all) (which will 100% disagrees with btw, because it simply isn't his fault if other people can't appreciate the art form for what it is, michael) before inevitably getting scarier and gorier.

era-appropriate byler watch the classics like gremlins, evil dead, ghostbusters, the thing, the shining, blah blah blah. you know the ones. mike catches will blushing over macready and ash and gets all 😒😤😠🥺 about it until will finally catches him and teases him for it. mike is grumbling, denying that he's pouting (because he doesn't ever pout, thank you very much) until will's poking his sides where he knows mike's ticklish and then mike's cracking and poking will back and popcorn is getting everywhere and will's cheeks are still red and okay maaaaaaybe 🙄 he was pouting a LITTLE BIT okay jUST A LITTLE BIT but can you blame him!!! insert mike putting his hand on will's bright pink cheek and it makes will blush even more because deargodhe'spretty but also Wait No I Look Like A Tomato Don't I God This Is Embarrassing Someone Puree Me Please For The Love Of God and then. well. there's smoochies ofc. and some complaining on will's part bc their rustling smushed the popcorn and now there's kernels everywhere and gOD mike look at this and hEY WHAT DID I DO?! and so on and so forth. they watch empire strikes back and blade runner a few times which AREN'T SCARY MOVIES, MIKE. but YOU JUST MADE ME SIT THROUGH THE ENTIRETY OF A CRONENBERG MOVIE, WILL, I THINK I'M ALLOWED A LITTLE HARRISON FORD HERE which like, yeah. okay. that's fair. will also gets mike to watch little shop of horrors and he's stealing looks at him the entire time because he loves that one and he wants mike to love it, too. which he does!! but who's to know if that's because he actually likes it or just likes how much will likes it and wants him to, too, and how much it has him looking over at him when he thinks mike isn't looking heheh.

modern!byler has a similar routine, but i'd like to think they also watch the remakes of the classics to compare and critique. mike always has a scalding review and will likes to eat all the candy bits in their popcorn while mike is distracted and waving his arms around gesticulating like a mad man as he's going OFF on whatever director had the fucking GALL the AUDACITY, WILL, THE AU-DA-CITY to take such a heaping shit—okay, mike—on [insert cult classic here]. they also watch hereditary and mike is Very Uncomfortable but he digs it a lot and will can't stop repeating the mother's monologue and constantly says "I AM YOUR BOYFRIEND." in the same tone as her which reduces them to a fit of giggles every time bc will is a Master at looking all intense like her and his already wide eyes get even wider when he does it. good timez. modern!will still has a thing for macready and ash and mike still rolls his eyes and grumbles and insists he's hotter to which will doesn't even look away from the screen when he guffaws at that. this time mike is the one that starts with the poking to get him to take it back but will doesn't and blahblahblah insert salty popcorn kissies here n will playfully pushing mike's face away bc "i'm trying to watch my boyfriend here, mike, gosh" which like yeAH OKAY THE MOVIE CAN WAIT NOW ACTUALLY BECAUSE EXᶜᵘˢSE ME—

OMG NOW AS FOR THEIR COSTUMES..... going 100% modern!au for this one bc fuck homophobia all my homies hate homophobia.

mike is in charge, because will's ideas are always awful. mike wants them to match and look cool god dammit to which will thinks mike is just being a big baby because hello!!!! monsters are super cool and very on theme thank you!!!! it's halloween!!!! but mike says No. Please. We. Are Wearing. A Couples. Costume. Will. (said in the most serious tone ever as if mike is two seconds from a nervous breakdown with the widest eyes ever not even blinking as he holds will's hand in both of his own and will is just chuckling because riling mike up is just soooooo easy, too easy and too fun actually). will concedes ofc, but tells mike he has to let him practice doing sfx makeup on him at some point eventually and mike lets out the BIGGEST sigh of relief ever and covers his face in kisses saying thankyouthankyouthankyougodthankyousomuchiloveyou because he was going to fucking khs if will ACTUALLY made him go as the fish guy from the shape of water. (literally who even thinks of that, will. / YOU SAID COUPLES COSTUME— / —YEAH BUT I'M NOT GOING AS A FUCKING FISH, WILL / HE'S NOT EVEN A FISH— etcetcetc).

to give you an actual answer though, they've dressed up as han (m) and leia (w, with space buns and all), poe (w) and finn (m), and the mandalorian (m) and anakin (w) [this one was NOT a couples costume but mike saw him in the dark robes and the disheveled hair and the cut on his brow and was like mmmmmm yeah ok i take it back i am Very okay with this actually aha 😳].

#byler #thank u so much for this ask :)#one thing abt me is i WILL be turning a simple answer into an entire essay and that's on byler baby 🫡#asks #byler hc

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cebwrites · 2 years

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more trans claimed charas cause my brain will not stop!

trans fem Robin during her archeology studies figuring she is trans. like actual archeologists determine a skeletons "gender" off context clues of their culture, even maybe something that tells who that person is is better, but if there's nothing they'll go by bones tentatively.

Robin finding that other cultures gender roles and presentation inspires her to explore herself. finding her self in her studies and being recognized by her fellow archeologists of being a smart little girl. also the bit of euphoria of having the "flower flower" devil fruit. she took advantage of that baroque works evil insurance/money to get medical transition.

trans Nami that knew when she was real little and that's part of why she gets hand-me-downs from her older sister (nonbinary fem Nojiko, Bellemere does not care of gender but as badass mom) getting the pinwheel/melon tattoo was not only something for her home/mom/gunny uncle but the softest thing she's ever had on her and added to her euphoria of being fem. also also having steady meals by Sanji and filling out her figure, especially also after the time skip with a stable place to learn her skills, feeling she has curves more so than before when she didn't always have food.

oh man "Self Made Man" is somehwere on Frankys workshop walls cause he literally is! makes one for Usopp cause he also is! Franky calls his nipple lights gender affirming cause he always wanted to "light up your lives!" he's so gender-whatever being a cyborg just doubles that.

Luffys gender is pirate king. nothing else needs to be said.

we are driving the down with the cis bus, u n me anon AKSDJUHSRGH

OHHH THAT'S GOOOOOOOD the hc i had with a friend of mine was that robin kind of always knew, like her aunt treated her so awfully that she'd be forced to wear her cousin's clothes but never really felt bad about being in "girls clothes" rather that it was done as a show of cruelty

when robin went on the run she figured that "disguising herself as a woman" would make things easier since the navy was looking for a young man and over time things just slowly fell into place, baroque definitely helping (croc may be a dictator but he's paying full coverage for ur tits as an agent, he said we support trans healthcare 💅💅)

bellemere had shaved sides and pronouns of course she'd support her little Gender(tm) baby girls 😤😤

USOPP AND FRANKY IN MATCHING SELF MADE MAN SHIRTS!!! THAT'S A FATHER AND HIS SON!!!!!!!! everyone groans whenever franky makes that old joke but robin just does her soft little smile because that's the cyborg she fell in love with 🥺💕

loof's gender is the grubby pair of shoes that makino bought him at like twelve but he wore them out within three months as a growing kid (+ luffy not liking them anyway because sandals were comfier to him) and he's never thought about gender again

// lays down on the floor it'd be so easy to transition on law's crew..... they've probably got loads of hrt and the best doctor as their cap........... why can't i kiss law and get them to chop my tiddies off

#cebask #one piece #queer headcanons #one piece headcanons

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chaoslaura · 1 year

Text

Ich habe 4.525 Mal im Jahr 2022 etwas gepostet

68 Einträge erstellt (2%)

4.457 Einträge gerebloggt (98%)

Blogs, die ich am häufigsten gerebloggt habe:

@wr0temyway0ut

@soemthingsparkly

@dat-carovieh

@itsfandomsgalore

@theres-no-antidote

Ich habe 1.294 meiner Einträge im Jahr 2022 getaggt

#heartstopper – 98 Einträge

#answered – 64 Einträge

#itsfandomsgalore – 32 Einträge

#heartstopper spoiler – 16 Einträge

#heartstopper spoilers – 15 Einträge

#skam – 12 Einträge

#witcher – 12 Einträge

#druck – 11 Einträge

#tkkg – 8 Einträge

#the alienist – 8 Einträge

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#sounds like: once i was almost choked to death how dare you post about hands and how dare you be into it kind of thing freak hands are evil!

Meine Top-Einträge im Jahr 2022:

May I add to the list of things that were normal but now are cursed that apparently remind me of you: the Flammkuchenbrett. I didn't take a picture but I was somewhere today where they constantly advertised their Flammkuchen flämische Art and the vegan one, with pictures of them on the Brett.

Also a train station in Zürich reminded me a lot about the one in Munich by the venue and maybe it's that i'm already emotional but I missed you and the concert a lot in that moment 😭

Glad I ruined that for everybody. Hope everyone going out for Flammkuchen has my cursed thoughts in the back of their head.😘

Aww Jess

7 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 25. September 2022

Aber eine S-Bahn ist doch keine Regionalbahn?! Das sind völlig verschiedene Bahnen. Es gibt S-Bahnen, die Regionalbahn und den Regional-Express. Alles unterschiedliche Verkehrsmittel XD

Was ein tolles Thema über das man diskutieren kann xD

Was ich meinte, zB in Rostock ist das hier eine S-Bahn (steht auch so an den Anzeigen):

Aber diese Art Zug wird hier als Regionalbahn genutzt. Weil in Berlin sieht die S-Bahn so aus:

Vollständigen Eintrag ansehen

7 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 26. Juni 2022

Happy to inform you I just saw a store here also selling Trachten and it's now my "think of Laura" thing 😌 that plus the cursed Lebkuchen picture

Why does it have to be things I don't like though?😩 Okay I admit the Lebkuchen picture is partly my fault, but still? Can't it be idk forests? I love forests. And streams and lakes in forests. Also I adore red pandas. So the next time you're in a zoo and see a red panda think of mee, and forget about the Trachten.

7 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 21. September 2022

du bist kein pfannkuchen? 😂

Ich bin ein Berliner ja (naja offiziell ja auch nicht mehr aber egal) aber möchte nun wirklich nicht mit einem Pfannkuchen verglichen werden😤

Um den Diskurs voranzutreiben: Nur Pfannkuchen mit Pflaumenmus sind gut und die mit Marmelade haben keine Daseins Berechtigung.

20 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 22. März 2022

Meine #1 des Jahres 2022

Something like this? I can try it animated tomorrow if you like! 😆

Amazing! Who doesn't want to wake up with that face up in the sky.

30 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 23. November 2022

Hol dir deinen Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 →

#of course the BC post got first place #@Jess #why did the Trachten and Lebkuchen had to make it into my tumblr review I 'm cursing you

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starlostseungmin · 2 years

Note

im— i wanted to try noting my live reaction to it so 🏃

A Pillow In Between | Lee Minho

I'm weak for idols in black shirts 😔✊

THIS BITCH STOLE MY RIDE, EXCUSER MEUR??

Chan playing matchmaker, we love to see it 👀 AH THE ICONIC ONE BED PROMPT, WE LOVE THIS TOO, YES WE DO !!

Not the foreshadowing 😭

Y/N THOTTING OMG YEASS BABE, CLAIM YOUR MAN !! reading smut with a straight face but proceeds to scream on the tiniest fluff. 💀 NAH WHEN HE SAVED HER FROM THAT CREEP HSJAHAJSBSJS

Okay rude, now he had his hands on someone else. Okay. My smile faded so fast 😦

Oh and it's back 😃

OH 👀

They love each other 🕺🕺

OMG BABES WENT VIRAL LOOK AT THOSE NOTES, CONGRATULATIONS, WELL DESERVED 😌 🎉🎉 but overall ugh this is so good 😭✊ toe curling, hair ripping good—especially for yn— aaaa great as always 😠😤💓

I'm gonna read Minnie now hehe

okay love lemme just *cracks knuckles*

okay okay IKR THEY LOOK SO GOOD WITH BLACK SHIRTS! i was so crazy to put it in that 😭 i believe minho always slay with it 😌

and the ride–he's just really trying the shit out of you and of course with the help of chan (they didn't know) 👀 I HAD TO PUT THE CLICHÉ AND ICONIC ONE BED PROMPT because come on where's the fun of being enemies to lovers when they can't share a bed and the spicy scene where they just–okay i'll stop 🙈

i can consider this as idiots to lovers who secretly love each other and just hiding their feelings to express hate for one another 👀 AND YAAAAS Y/N CLAIMING HIS MAN TO PUSH OFF THE CREEP–it's not rude hun, trust me 😌

“toe curling and hair ripping—especially for yn—” i'm... 👀 ano ka ba 🙈😭

AAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH LOVE 🥺 I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE ROLLERCOASTER RIDE WITH MINNIE 😚💖 (i can't find a meme with seungmin having an evil smile so here's minho)

#☁️.txt #🐧 — keisy answers #🧸— mutuals #sunny ☀️#📓 — a motivation to write

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chloeworships · 10 months

Text

Message 1:

I heard the word “Guilty” today. A verdict will be announced. In what case, I am unsure.

Message 2:

I overheard two men whispering saying they didn’t want certain information being released to the public. I’m uncertain if it’s good or bad but the Lord wanted me to share this.

Message 3:

I saw a hospital sign with the letter H sprayed on a cement wall in red/pinkish. Then I saw a woman in a stretcher with paramedics lifting her upright in an oxygen mask. She gave me two middle fingers but what was interesting was, each hand was dripping in black tar similar to Lucifer in Constantine (see image below). This woman is going straight to hell babes 🔥 This is what God was showing me.

Message 4:

This same woman was seen ripping up a piece of paper throwing it into a fireplace. She was super BIG mad 👀 This was a curse… a name paper spell. She uses demons to get her way and it will catch up with her in the form of death ⚰️

Message 5:

I saw a man once again being suffocated and blinded. He was constricted and restrained from moving forward. Someone does not want this man to succeed. This is insane! Who keeps doing this to him???🤯 It reminded me of the time they tried to suffocate me in my sleep so I could die. I saw this man gasping for air. It’s almost as if he was being water-boarded. If this hasn’t happened yet, someone could be planning this as a spiritual attack to hold you back from your purpose and opportunities. Stay prayed up boo’s. I am FURIOUS about this 🔥😡😤🔥 they can try all they want but they cannot hold you back.

Message 6:

I wasn’t feeling well and God showed me as a cheerleader in one of my fav colours — dark green — with the number 5 on my shirt. 5 is for the 5 men God gave me championship messages for. It was confirmation of my joke about being your spiritual cheerleader 📣 lol 😂 God is so funny 🤣 He has a sense of humour. Thanks Dad 💙

Message 7:

I heard the words “deceased” twice ✌🏾 Then I saw a woman that looked like a police officer. I heard she has something to do with Chicago. I also saw another evil woman. It was all a bit vague except for hearing the words but someone has died or will die.

Message 8:

Someone is going to be arrested… 🔜 It could be multiple people.

Message 9:

I had a vision of a sword 🗡️ Expect some truth to come out along with clarity. God is sending his Angels to wage war for you and against those who wage war upon you so “be still”. Don’t do anything but be your best self and watch God work.

Message 10:

An Angel by the name of Haniel came to visit me. Her name means Joy and Grace. She told me we should not quit, BIG life changing miracles will be occurring soon for God’s children ✨😍 She called me an Earth Angel 👼🏾🥹 my heart 💜 I love Angels and this one is for sure REAL. Wow 🤩 Thank you 😊

#multiple messages

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waitingformyfavoritesongs · 1 year

Text

16 March 2023 Thursday 11 am pdt

In the middle of my sleep 😴 the incubus or incubus miñion seemed to sprinkle acid in to the air & I felt it. 11:02 am pdt difficulty breathing heart ♥️ pain 11:03 am pdt. A few days ago the incubus miñion made me feel like I was pure evil 🦹‍♀️ inside my brain 🧠 & that I lacked self control with out him 😞😖😭 very hot 🥵 btwn breasts 11:06. Y. L <—incubus did that. It felt true 😞😖😭 I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ what is true. I guess I’m in denial. Why does it feel true???? How does it feel real???? All my life I had to fight bad feelings & thoughts 💭!! Am I truly cursed by Mother Nature???? 11:11 am pdt is it through magic 🪄 potion 🧪 & years of manipulating me that I’ve become this way???? Acid throat pain 11:13 am pdt

11:41 am pdt butt bones 🦴 pain after left hip bone 🦴 felt changed possibly reduced 😭🥵😤🥵😤😖😭😞11:42 am pdt he’s mean 😭! He’s a sellout! For money 💰!!!! 11:43 am pdt

1:23 am pdt if my man cheated on me even a little bit I would feel betrayed & my trust would be broken. My head & heart ♥️ would fill with sorrow at the thought he did something behind my back & EVERYONE was okay 👌 with it Bcz they all wanted a piece of him so they act like it’s okay 👌! 1:26 pmpdt he would be in the DOG HOUSE 🏠 for a LOOOONG time! I would feel discouraged from giving my heart ♥️ fully AGAIN & hesitant to trust his words that I would be the only one he would love 💕 forever ♾! If you really meant it, you wouldn’t go towards the temptation, you wouldn’t go to meet them. You would keep it at magazines, nameless faces, don’t seek to know them. Masturbate by hand like you used to? Unless you’re too spoiled for that. 1:29 pmpdt

1:34 pmpdt with his magic 🪄 powers he probably rapes 15 year old girls. Incubus has a dirty d*ck! 1:35 pmpdt

1:36 pmpdt last year? I heard the Virgin Mary was 16 years old & the John she married was very old like 80? 1:36 pmpdt 90? I:37 pmpdt

1:37 pmpdt & I heard the Juliet capulet character was ≈13/14 years old? If the character is supposedly that old when she first has s*x & he’s making references to it with the tattoos on his hands 🙌 he probably really does rape 13/14 year old girls. Jewish law says when you’re 13 years old you’re an adult 🧑 & when I was 13/14 years old the teachers 👩‍🏫 gave a little s*x education. BEWARE! If incubus burns 🥵 you for your educated guesses, it probably means you are right! Bcz the truth hurts! 1:41 pmpdt

1:41 pmpdt Bcz if it was true then dead men tell no tales! But if it’s not true then you have the courage to face the court! & everyone! & your accuser! & the courage to face an investigation! Bcz murderers murder to hide the heinous things they’ve done! You’re delusional or brainwashed or one of them to think otherwise! 1:44 pmpdt

1:45 pmpdt hurting me, destroying a piece of me such as my uterus & ovaries is murdering a piece of me at a time. Slow tortured murder. 1:46 pmpdt

1:46 pmpdt threatening & punishing me to keep quiet 🤐 is a murderous move. 1:47 pmpdt

1:51 pmpdt I still feel the heat & acid burning 🔥 my vag. If you stand by him & his family, you stand by capitalism a system that encourages cops 👮‍♂️ to not rescue 11 year old girls from s*x offenders. 1:52 pmpdt the proof is in the news 📰. 1:53 pmpdt

1:54 pmpdt he’s a flip flopper. He said stuff like he’s special Bcz he was born & raised in Los Angeles. Then he flips & wears T-shirts & license plates in beautiful mistakes that say LA is toxic & moved to Santa Barbara & left the voice. When he’s done ✅ using you he will toss you out like trash 🗑. 1:57 pmpdt

1:57 pmpdt Q told me her uncle lives in Santa Barbara... tongue 👅 pain 1:58 pmpdt

1:58 pmpdt if there is a truth serum, is ther an anti- truth serum? 1:59 pmpdt

2 pmpdt didn’t stroh say they hung out in L.A.?

2:02 pmpdt Jared you’re a senior in 2001? 2:03 pmpdt

2:23 pmpdt if incubus was really “Brendan” using Brendan’s account & being a double catfish mixing their identities, then he really was looking for someone who only was a month away from turning 16 years old to have s*x with! 2:24 pmpdt when he was 22 years old????

2:25 pmpdt

2:35 pmpdt guys who are 21 years old Bcz of the alcohol & being legally adult 🧑 since 18 years old & they’re accepted & not shamed for being whores? Although Scott seemed to care too much about being associated with premarital s*x? Bcz he’s rich? Toys okay 👌 for them to put all the responsibilities on the female even though they’re usually bigger, richer, stronger, more powerful than a woman 👩🏼? As if they don’t use any of this as quiet leverage & pressure on someone? 2:39 pmpdt also let’s not forget demons making us addicted to s*x in the land of nod (can’t say no! & if you do, somehow punishment comes!) 2:40 pmpdt this culture of not holding men accountable probably stems from them being afraid of responsibility even though the woman 👩🏼 is the one who has the most consequences to bear 🐻. They can run 🏃‍♂️ away easy! Even though the economy usually gives more dollar 💵 benefits they still have excuses to put it all on the woman. 2:43 pmpdt

2:44 pmpdt are they afrai If responsibility Bcz they know they’re GUILTY! Of being rapist! & not LOVERS 💕! Of being only lustful without intentions of really seeking love 💕! 2:46 pmpdt

2:54 pmpdt afraid of ⬆️ 2:56 pmpdt Nick wanted to have s*x with me without getting to know me. Same w/ Scott. He touched my breast when he hugged me after the first time we hung out one on one, & it was probably only our 2nd time of really talking to each other more than few minutes. 2:58 pmpdt all the other times was probably 2 minutes here 2 minutes there 5 minutes at a different time. Before we hung out one on one he had a girlfriend he was probably already f*Cking for years1! 2:59 pmpdt

3:54 pmpdt I found weird crystals in my disposable underwear 🩲 that’s meant for incontinent old people. I accidentally ripped it open & saw a bunch. It’s really hard stuff. My vag lips 👄 are more than half gone, feels only like the outer flesh. It was probably put there by the incubus? Idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ it does feel broken.. I think 💭. 3:58 pmpdt

imagine incubus goes to Brendan & says bro 😎 let me stay for free & use your internet. Maybe 🤔 he even says let him take “chicks” to his place for privacy while he’s at work? When he’s suppose to be at guitar class. 4:01 pmpdt imagine that Brendan doesn’t know that incubus wants to use his internet to pick up random “chicks” to have one night stands with. So Brendan doesn’t know his email 📧 will be connects to catfishing. Imagine Brendan still doesn’t know that incubus was plotting to throw him under the bus 🚌, for prostitution of minors? 4:04 pmpdt if he does know then he’s a good actor. 4:04 pmpdt

4:07 pmpdt if Brendan knew of the whole thing maybe he stood to profit from it. Maybe 🤔 he wanted a minor to f*ck. 4:08 pmpdt

5:02 pmpdt incubus ate into vag lip more. It’s probably gone. I’m afraid to touch myself to check. I think 🤔 I’m not going to go to the hospital 🏥 anymore. Incubus might completely dissolve me. & we can show the whole world 🌎 he doesn’t need anyone’s help to kill someone. Which is why rapist like Nick carter can rely on him. 5:04 pmpdt and doctors 🥼 & scientists 👨‍🔬 chose to help rapist rather than the victims. 5:05 pmpdt

0 notes

mazuwii · 2 years

Note

Can you do one where s/o is a royal? Like with the normal crew you usualy do, Levi Erwin hangi bertholdt Reiner Kenny etc. 🥰

HI! <3 so like a royal Y/n x ! AOT Character... that sounds cool, I'll use my usual format for these characters

Levi:

•Levi is quite the possessive knight to be honest, it would be difficult to keep his role as he’s always managing to upset the higher ups with how he wants you a million miles away from danger. Again, he pisses off the higher ups… AKA the king… A K A … your dad

•So for this I propose that Levi is not your knight, he’s your butler. A strong butler 😭 it’s really funny. He seems like a stoic and angry little one but actually, he’s the best. Especially to the young royals.

•he’d perform tricks for them every time they seem sad. Levi understands after all, being a child and a royal at the same time must have put a lot of pressure on them. So the children absolutely adore Levi.

•You’re already promised to someone sure, but you couldn’t care less, you’ll sneak out of your room at night to hang out with Levi just sipping tea with him and talking about life while hanging out on one of the fancy balconies in the castle.

•Levi isn’t one for scandals, he makes sure to stay low when it comes to other people finding about his relationship with the Princess. If you’re sent on a journey, usually your mum and dad will send Levi with you. Since he’s not only strong but also very responsible.

•You’re lucky enough to not have any knights accompany you, Levi is all you need. And once you know no one’s on your tail, you can finally act normal together.

•I guess at one point, you two would run away together, forever bounty’s sure, but you’re also forever married ☺️ (DISCLAIMER‼️ not by law)

Erwin:

•Erwin was upgraded from a knight to the kings advisor. That’s just how smart and convincing he is. In this AU he’d have a scar crossing over on his eyes and he’d even have stories written about him (in the future people probably would thing Knight Smith was a damned legend😤)

•He has always caught your eye, with his kindness, his bravery, but most of all his intelligence, no one could compete with his war strategies, his ideas. All of it had twisted the kingdom into a whole new better life of civilisation.

•you happened to be the person who helped upgrade Erwin to such a spot. That way, you two could see each other more often and you wouldn’t have to worry about him dying in battle.

•Everytime he greets you in front of your dad he delicately picks your hand up and kisses it, even going as far as to bow down. He always gives you a knowing smirk every time he stands back up, towering over you.

•Not gonna lie to you, when the king sees the way you and Erwin interact his head just goes 💡 L I G H T B U L B

•And that’s how you ended up in an arranged marriage with someone you were secretly dating. Honestly it was kinda sad for the maidens of the kingdom, since who doesn’t have a fat crush on this man💔 still though, everyone celebrated and your dad could die peacefully knowing the country was in good hands

•Still, everyone was suspicious because you two managed to click so well on your wedding day… almost as if you had already been infatuated with each other since a long time.

•And by the way 😮‍💨 King! Erwin discusses plans and ideas while holding his child 😞

Hange

•Hange was originally supposed to assassinate you as an act of revenge against your father, the king. Like a typical evil dumb butt he took from the poor and gave to the rich. Which means the rich never pay any taxes only the poor do.

•Sorry I got political there

•ANYWAY! She had been stalking you before she planned to kill you, learning your routine and trying to adapt to times that are better to just, shoot an arrow through your chest.

•Would she wanna shoot your chest after she got flashed at while stalking you? 😫Not at all- (I’m so sorry anytime I’m writing Hange I become so feral for no reason)

•Anyway, she found out from your words to the maids, that you hated your father and had even planned to poison him. Everyone agreed with you, he was horrible and treated people like animals.

•Hange realised it would be easier to kill your father, but it isn’t really. If she ever gets caught then a deathly torture will await for her… and besides, it’d be harder with all the security around him at all damn times.

•Then one day. She had joined the guard legion, to get closer to you.

•No one really knew her gender but she was strong enough to be classified as a man to them (ik it’s stupid but bear with me 😭)

•With all the times she had saved you from danger, she was placed as the guard that would stay by your side.

•Of course, even when saving you from dangerous situations (that feels like she set up herself) you can’t help but feel suspicious from the way she stares at you longingly, holds you away from something that may hold potential danger. Not to mention she’s just so flirtatious with you and doesn’t care if anyone sees.

•And not very long after, you begin to grow feelings for her too.

•When you finally get alone together, those flirtatious comments turn into flirtatious touching, with her finger tucked under your chin every time she talks to you.

•Before more people arrive you took your chance to kiss her cheek as a thank you.. and low-key a way to say, yo you’re kinda cute 🌚

•I think only you know that she’s a woman 🗿 her face is more feminine and her throat is less thicker than the mens, her waist goes inward despite her muscles.

•This is getting too long, perhaps I’ll turn this Into a fanfiction one day

Bertholdt:

•Bertholdt was not a knight, he wasn’t a servant, he wasn’t an assassin either

•He was a peasant. A peasant child born to the family of wise fortune tellers. His parents died of a disease and so did his siblings so the royal family took him in, with the condition that he predicts the future for them.

•Bertholdt did, he was as intelligent as his parents were. The king and queen were proud, they were overjoyed. Bertholdt had grown up with the royals and learnt how to be better than a peasant.

•So, your parents low-key thought, you’d be a perfect gift to him for all those years of service. He was moved from the castle he grew up in and was hastily thrown into your arms.

•When he first showed up he had a red cape strapped to his shoulders with gold, matching with a golden suit. He was so flustered when he saw you, he was great full for the two maids that stood beside him, helping him introduce himself to you.

•the first time you guys spoke, he was silent and never looked you in the eye. “did my parents raise a prince or a bunny?” You giggled softly at how his cheeks instantly burnt a warm red. Still, he refused to look you in the eye.

•”Hey, it’s okay… I don’t bite. Now,” you tucked your finger under his chin, bringing his attention back to you. “Why don’t you introduce yourself. Properly this time.”

Reiner:

•The most chaotic knight ever.

•He was so infatuated with your beauty, he’d probably be able to answer a 100 question quiz about you, with no hesitation and get it all right. Please, if you asked him to run outside with nothing but a tight pink peppa pig themed underwear on, he’d do it.

•Despite how chaotic and wreckless he is, he was charming. Your father really liked him. Reiner was always one in a few that returned from dangerous missions or battles, he was important to your dad. But not important enough to give his daughter away to.

•That doesn’t stop the two of you though. When your father is away on trips and missions, you two do anything you like, Reiner will even put you on a horse, right in front of him and take you on an adventure. Your mum would warn you two to show up before a specific date when your father would return.

•Honestly spontaneous, funny, and possessive. He’s just a hardcore golden retriever.

•Did I mention the amount of times he’s probably got into a near death situation. He has a knack for it, his body is filled with scars just from his carelessness. No one knows how he’s still alive.

•Would die for you tbh

•Hed even run away with you. Anything for his princess.

•Omg side note but imagine your father finds out about your relationship and banished him from the kingdom. But instead you secretly pack your things and run away with Reiner. Perfect. Awesome. Yes.

Kenny:

•Kenny is connected to the evil shit the royals secretly do. He gets paid a lot to do snarky shit that your parents order him to do. It’s usually something like sabotaging a certain town or village that are slowly catching onto something

•Or perhaps it’s killing someone. Kenny is at the royals service. And to be honest, you never knew about this until you overheard it happening. You weren’t supposed to be there and you didn’t know what would happen to you if your father found out that you caught on.

•it’s another story with Kenny tbh. He knows you but you don’t know him.

•So when you leave the castle for a bit- without permission and without protection, you find yourself in a dangerous situation in which crooks want you for ransom (you must be a dumbass in this story) but anyway, a random man that looks way too old to be pulling the moves that he is saves you from being toyed around with (ugly stupid cranks)

•”Be careful next time.” He’d say, even though he knew you, he didn’t want to give it away that he understood you were the princess.

•And honestly, you’d low-key develop a hardcore crush on him. Only realising who he is when your father introduced you to him (you happen to see him) that was the same voice as the one you’re father always had meetings with.

•Still, how could you hate him 😍 what with all the smiles he shoots at you, winking at you from across the room when he catches you staring. It’s no wonder an affair began from it all.

•He should be on a mission, to go shoot someone’s brains out but here he is, in your locked room at night, muffling your moans the best you could.

Jean:

•Jean would be your jester. Except he isn't a jester? Basically he was hired to help the princess keep her chin up, a way to make sure she doesn't do something dangerous because of her depression

•You'd scoff when you were first introduced to your jester, dressed like a body guard and height tall enough to convince you he was the new king.

•"What's all this? I'm depressed not manically suicidal."

•"I'm sorry but his majesty insisted." The maid bowed from right next to Jean, seemingly nervous. You sighed but nodded reluctantly, shooing her off before she could sweat a puddle.

•you're surprised he was hired, he has no boundaries with you and talks to you like you're just another human being (shocker) but honestly you're low-key into it, it's a bit of fresh air from all that royalty bs.

•Your little cutie Jester will take you on late night trips, sometimes to festivals, sometimes he'll take you to bars or restaurateurs (Eugene from rapunzel Core) he'll even get you commoner gifts. They're cute and their designs are done with thought, unlike your golden possessions- which are just hulks of money.

•the king could see a change in your demeanour when it came to Jean. He was helping you, you seemed less miserable. All you needed was a commoner bestie.

•Also can we mention the amount of times he has flirted with you, it always makes the butlers and maids fear for him, but they always get confused when you flirt back, perhaps bumping your hips into his... to which he replies with a stronger hip punch. Only throwing you two back and forth in zig zags and giggles.

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misstalwyn · 2 years

Text

Okay Thebes, what the FUCK

cut again bc I just need to vibrate on this shit

It was so much exactly like what I thought and exactly the opposite of what I wanted

I hated being right about the goddamn tomb décor but it’s nice to see that narcissism at work ig lol

Like, damn, on one hand I wanted to see Thebes, and it looked more like the Thebes I could see in my head than I thought they’d do! (I really thought he’d just jump out of a sarcophagus tbh)

On the other hand, I had two BIG wants on two conditions

If Ted is alive, we get to fight/kill him

If he’s dead, it had to have been ironic/funny and we get to spit on his grave

So you can maybe see why I’m just ticked all the way off now 😤

DO YOU KNOW HOW NEAT IT WAS FOR A SPLIT SECOND TO THINK THAT TED WENT FULL RESIDENT EVIL AND THAT WE COULD FIGHT HIM LIKE NEMESIS??

THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SICK!! WHY WOULD YOU ROB US OF THAT, GUERRILLA??

It’s a little disappointing that because of the way they went about using it, Thebes & Ted feel like a footnote in this game’s narrative? And the series as a whole? Am I alone in feeling like that??

I mean, Ted is the reason all this shit even started, he was the Big Bad and they deliberately left all these threads hanging in ZD just to wrap them up way too neatly in a plot where he’s not even the antagonist anymore?? WHY

I JUST WANTED TO KICK HIS ASS, MAN

Don’t get me wrong, I think the zeniths are interesting enough as villains, but doesn’t it feel a little odd that they were more successful just by being stupidly rich people who happened to pick the venture that worked, rather than Ted, who was smart enough to have Omega Clearance done under Elisabet’s nose, become functionally immortal, and kill the alphas?

AND THE ZENITHS EVEN GOT CAUGHT. BUT THEY STILL GOT WHAT THEY WANTED? JUST BECAUSE??

I can’t believe I’m even defending Ted at all but when you spend a whole 100+ hour game’s worth of lore building this guy up and then don’t even show his gross, resident evil mutation IN THE GAME ABOUT FIGHTING GROSS, COOL MONSTERS, I’m gonna be a little disappointed, k?

I hate to think it was because they thought Ted was too easy to hate? They really thought “let’s undercut every little thing he ever did and even when we DO deliver what you’d expect, we’re gonna kill him passively so players don’t even get the satisfaction of kicking his ass”

I expected this whole scenario at the end of a trilogy, hence why I wrote that fic as vaguely as I did—bc I really didn’t think they’d just go and do it now! I thought I had to leave space for a whole ass sequel! And they just,,, went and did it,

It feels especially cowardly now bc it’s clear in all his datapoints that he never came remotely CLOSE to realizing exactly what he did/was doing. And then they just let him die with that mindset! Half the reason I wanted to confront him (and why I’m so glad I wrote the fic when I did lol) was so he could see, if not realize, how wrong he was!

Aloy just really deserved a chance to give Ted a piece of her mind tbh, and I would have LOVED to see the look on his face when he realized who/what she was. 😤

I guess the zeniths could fill in on that narrative thread, but it’s just not gonna feel as satisfying, especially bc I still don’t know who they are!!

Tilda knew Lis? Okay, that’s a total retcon, but w/e.

Erik and Peter? Whomst?!

Verbena died instantly and then I found the datapoint from her SEVENTEENTH ENGAGEMENT? DID THEY REALLY JUST LET SOME RANDOM IT GIRL ONTO THEIR ADVANCED COLONY SHIP?? OKAY LOL

I feel a wayyyy more intriguing tie to Regalla than any of those chumps, bc I love the Tenakth so much and her shit has really divided them and brought them closer together at the same time in a long, consistent manner. It’s great! I wanna fight her more!

The zeniths? Eh, I guess I just wanna break their stuff more than them rn lol

Plus, Regalla’s motivation/conflict ties into the first game and extended lore so well! Ofc it makes sense a segment of the Tenakth wouldn’t be capable of forgiving the Carja! That shit was fucked up!! No amount of smiles and gifts from Avad could ever “fix” that! (Sorry, my sun-king 😭)

All this to say you could’ve just had this game be Aloy’s long quest to repair GAIA, feat. All these new cool tribes and people. Regalla was already your shadow carja equivalent, and just finding the subfunctions while she’s running around fucking shit up would’ve been challenge enough. Didn’t need the space people at all, tbh! But, I’m not a game writer! (Yet!!)

#hfw spoilers #fwspoilers #horizon forbidden west spoilers #i'm not counting this as a part 3 of thoughts bc its just one main mission #and i didnt even want to go into the quen until i fully understand their shit #which is also a lot!!

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teeth-farie · 2 years

Note

He has some good moments but Luke sometimes makes me way to hit with a slipper especially when he says the demons bros are evil while looking Beel in the face😤😤

Also Salem Hispanic👀👀👀👀👀 yuh where your from (if your comfortable sharing) I’m Puertorican and Dominican 🇵🇷🇩🇴

Luke’s been raised in the celestial realm so he just needs exposure tbh (though there are scenes where Luke actively looks up to the bros and datables like Barbatos and Mammon so I think he’s just afraid to say he likes demons and are friends with them because of the war and how the celestial realm treats demons) I’d much rather hit mammon with my shoe than Luke smh hes always calling the poor thing a chihuahua (I love you mams but you gotta learn your lesson dkfjfkf)

I’m mixed (also born and raised in the US) so I’m Dominican/white. One day I want to visit the DR! (My paternal grandfather fled to the US because of the dictator at the time- but apparently he was also the godson of the dictators right hand man. Last time I visited my grandfather he had a bunch of photos of him and his godfather and his godfather with the dictator. Absolutely INSANE)

#mail #queertrashcrow #I take over the genetic paternal side more than my maternal (which is the white/Ukrainian half)#I’ve never felt a draw to my European half which my mom has been bummed about but she understands #but there’s also a LOT of family history on my maternal side as well I just feel like I don’t fit in? if that makes sense?#I try to connect by I feel like I’m an imposter or not welcome (even if my maternal family welcomes me)#but I also feel like not Hispanic enough for my paternal side too because I’m mixed #hnggg I always feel torn between the two…

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theheavycrown · 6 years

Text

S02 E13 · Chapter Twenty-Six: The Tell-Tale Heart

It’s that time again! Let me say I am very sorry that this has been on a string of delays. I had surgery to remove all four of my wisdom teeth the day before this episode aired. Then unfortuantely I got dry socket, it was an ordeal. It’s been a long hiatus for Sarah. The good news is I know I really needed the refresher on this episode before 2x14, I hope you all will too!

My Rating: 8/10 - I really, really had so much to like about this episode. The cinematography was great, there was some great character growth, Lili’s acting was phenomenal, and the Bughead scenes were lovely. Riverdale’s hottest new episode is called Dead Bodies ‘R Us! It has everything you would want in an episode. Bleached fruit, hand candy, real people who are actually cartoons, and a poorly hidden murder cover up where the whole town could catch you! [x]

Recap, random screencaps, video clip scene links, emoji abuse, my crack!edits, fangirling, snark, hearteyes, facepalms, and reactions (& spoilers obviously) under the cut!

Betty Cooper is pretty much all of us for the rest of this episode, get ready!

Betty crying is heartbreaking. 💔 This episode is really getting me in the feelings already. They couldn’t take it easy on us with Jughead typing away this time. 💻 [x]

[Alice] He tried to hurt me and Chic, your brother- No, no, what are you doing? [Betty] I'm calling the police! [Alice] No, don't do that. Do not do that! [Betty] Mom, there's a man on our floor! [Alice] If the police come, they're gonna take Chic away from me and I won't let that happen again. [Betty] Well, if it was self-defense - It was self-defense, right? [Alice] Yes, of course, it was. But it won't matter.

We have handfuls of questions about what happened after Alice answered the door, and no answers. There has been some discussion on if it was Alice or Chic who killed Shady Man. The dialogue here indicates that Chic did it to protect his Mom. However, Alice isn’t exactly known for her honesty in all things and Chic is sitting uselessly in the corner. Is this really an answer? Probably not. Do I think Chic did anything out of love and protection for his mother? Not very damn likely. 😤

Alice has been fierce for her kids, but that dedication often seems to take her in the wrong direction. This is just another one of those times. Betty’s instinct to call the police is likely the right one, this can only get more messy. Successful well adjusted daughter? Control every facet of her life and talk down to her. Teen pregnancy? Throw them in an evil nun institute. Murder? Throw some bleach on it.

If it was self-defense and if Chic did kill Shady Man after he attacked Alice.. Alice doesn’t look any worse for the wear. Alice has no indications of bruises etc on her, who knows if her word would hold up in an investigation.

Then again, this is Riverdale. Teenagers were able to solve a murder that evaded the police at every turn. Clifford Blossom would still be running the town in his maple syrup suit if it weren’t for Betty and Jughead. So if they are the ones doing the murder covering? And it’s the word of Alice Cooper versus a dead drug dealer, I’m going to guess she would have been fine calling the police. 👮 Riverdale Police: We Don’t Know What We Are Doing! (We mostly bully teenagers, cool?)

Hal calls and Betty and Alice’s first thought that he can’t be trusted. Loving family. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

Betty cleaning up blood in that dress, the pretty dress she just lost her virginity in, is so typically Riverdale in its symbolism of loss of innocence.

Jughead, even in narration, doesn’t say anything to implicate the Cooper women, he gives no answers, only a description of a family trying to look out for each other. 🙌 Loyal Jughead!

I am so sick of this SAM 🕴 guy. This is getting less and less believable.

Wow, SAM throwing around drums 🥁, subtle. Real smoke and dagger here.

The Cooper women should start a cleaning business. They are speedy as hell, they even cleaned up themselves in next to no time. Riverdale is tiny after all, Hal couldn’t have taken long if he was on his way. They can call it Cooper Cleaning, Anything Spotless in 15 minutes or less! (And we mean anything!) ✨🔪

[Betty] Jug, what's up? [Jughead] Nothing, I was just calling to say good night. And, uh I love you. [x]

Catch me with all my feelings, Jughead didn’t even wait till the next day to call Betty. They made love and he called her the same night, not even hours it seems, later. Best guess that was less than an hour from when Betty got home. My Bughead heart. 💛💙

OMG, sweet soft Jughead said I love you with that smile. 😍

Betty didn’t return his declaration but this will come back up in the episode I’m sure. We all know Betty loves him. 💞 My feelings!

Jughead looks so concerned, don’t let your fears get the best of you, Juggie! 😫

Betty is the one that drove to the drain pipe? 😂

This guy didn’t have a wallet? That sounds unrealistic. Is this going to come back up? Foreshadowing??

A sewer pipe doesn’t seem like the most stealthy hiding location. Just throw a rug over a dead body! No one would ever find it with that kind of stealth cover up! 💀🙃

Penelope and Hal, gross. 🤮

This is how this scene went right?

.....well it should have.

But really, OHHHHH FP DIDN'T SEND THE HEAD, JUG DID. 👏

Color me surprised that FP wants to go through a legal route against the Lodges.

That head wasn’t around with Betty and Jug during the scene™. No one can convince me that Betty wasn’t in on it with Jughead in sending that head off to the Lodge’s. Until I get proof otherwise, she was in on it. It really fits into her character for it to have been partially her idea to send it to Hiram after what he pulled. I double checked the end of 2x12, the gift wasn’t sent directly to Veronica (Betty wouldn’t have done that), Andre just assumed it was. So it checks out. You can pry this headcanon from my cold, dead, hands. 🤲😂

FP saying “Boy” is one detail that always makes me laugh in this show. I am not sure how FP manages to be such a dramatic ass but also comic relief, all at the same time. 😅

Jughead doesn’t even look remorseful about doing what he wanted with Pickens’ head. He found it after all, FP just threw around accusations, he can do what he wants with it as far as I’m concerned. 👌

I’m really unsure what line Veronica is walking. Sometimes she seems to be firmly with her family, others she seems to want to still stay on the side of what is right. They definitely have made her a dynamic character.

Alice didn’t want Betty in this but now she’s sure in it now. 😵

Betty’s compulsive cleaning, especially of the apples 🍎, was phenomenal acting, filming, and editing. All the way to when Betty turns off her alarm. ⏰

How. Stepford. ALICE, REALLY? There are pancakes and everything is fine all a sudden? Alice is DELUSIONAL.

“I don’t like chocolate chip pancakes,” said with that very Betty expression, in her initial reaction to coming down to this scene is perfection. 🥞

Betty is apparently the only one with a conscience in this family and this is eating her alive. 😥

Omg Jughead coming to walk Betty to school. 😍 Oh the Bughead, good sweet soft juggy. [x]

The look of total relief on Betty’s face, despite looking completely haggard, is beautiful.

When Alice realizes it’s Jughead at the door, she just waves her hand in dismissal and walks away, I didn’t notice that initially. 😂

Between the phone call, and him showing up at her door, this is already lovely.

[Jughead] Hey, can I talk to you about last night? [Betty] Why? What about it? [Jughead] Nothing, I just thought we had this really nice night, and you hung up on me, so I kind of got nervous. Maybe you felt we were moving too fast or I don't know, maybe it wasn't enjoyable? [Betty] Oh, my God! No! - No, not at all. (chuckles and smiles) Last night was amazing. There was just a lot of drama when I got home. [Jughead] Let me guess, Chic-centric? [Betty] It'll be fine. Just typical Cooper house lunacy.

Jughead opening up about his fears and feelings, instead of letting them control him, is what we have been waiting for and I am HERE FOR THIS.

Betty’s reaction is perfect! Talking about their relationship is something I am so ecstatic to see and proud of. This is why I love Bughead! 💛💙

The parallel of both Varchie and Bughead walking to school and talking about their relationships is a lovely film choice. 🌂

[Veronica] “A low-key turf-war might be brewing between the Joneses and the Lodges.” This is some serious character driven conflict. I am high key excited for this.

Fans myself. You don’t manage Jughead Jones, girl. 👏 [x]

So Jug KNOWS it’s Hiram behind the troubles for the trailer park.

Jughead being angry and insistent at this kind of issue is something I can get behind.

Betty, poor, sweet, murder covering Betty. It’s tough to see her digging her nails into her hands again. 😰

The subtle Black Hood reference from Jughead about him returning from the grave, listen, we all know that is coming back up. That janitor fooled no one. Except Riverdale PD. 🤐

I am surprised Jug didn’t even make a move to go after Betty when she ran out of the room.

Caring Cheryl!!! She actually did try! Give us that redemptive arc! 🙌 [x]

“Martin Scorsese nightmare,” ACCURATE. 📽 That could be the full title of the show; Riverdale: A Martin Scorsese Nightmare. [x]

How is Hiram still a good guy at heart? You can’t tell me that Archie doesn’t know that the murder is the one he caused by his ratting out of Papa Cheese. 🧀 🐭

And SURE, Hiram loves his daughter, but he also sent that letter than threatened Hermione in order to coerce said daughter into doing what he wanted.

Hiram was also just being a huge douche to Archie, why is Archie suddenly #teamhiram?

I know, Archie is @#teamhiram because he feels the big strong mobster daddy can protect him and make him feel safe after the spiral of fear and weakness he felt after his father was shot. But I am firmly side eyeing this. 😑

When you are really interested in what is on that map Jughead is referencing, so you run the episode back, but even after doing so three times you still are just staring at Jughead’s hands…. What map? 😍🔥

Jughead back at McCoy! Here for it!

I like how he seems more intuitive and knowledgeable than her and she’s a LAWYER. 👩‍🎓

JUG our Sherlock, intense, intelligent, incredibly good looking.

Ohhhh he’s onto her. And BIT (Bughead Investigative Team) is back! Betty just..... needs... a little help. Okay, Betty needs a lot of help.

How is it that teenage Jughead Jones is picking up on all of this with the Mayor and the Southside, but all the adults are none the wiser living in ‘Leave It To Beaver’ land.

I really, really loved Jug in this scene. Have you rewatched it? You should. He’s gorgeous. No one may like Jughead when he’s angry... but I do.

Uhhhhh soooo now SAM 🕴 is bribing Archie? I don’t think we can even pretend he is an FBI agent anymore. Agent Adams? More likes Agent Ahhhh, definitely full of shit, amiright?!

Hiram has to be one of the best liars in Riverdale. 🎲🎲 He should go to Vegas, become a hustler. 🎶 He’s a hustler, baby! 🎶

Hiram has emotion in his eyes for once, about Ronnie. She is the only good part of him.

You don’t GO BACK to the hidden dead body Betty!!! Seriously??! 🤦

And they left a cell phone on him? AND someone had realized he’s missing? 😱

Throw some extra throw blankets on him, it’ll be grand. Those plus the rug are very covert.

They are playing CLUE? REALLY? Hello Stepford family! Chic and Alice are clearly in some sort of delusion together.

Dammit Betty, call Jug. Put that cell phone down.

Listen, I’m a firm believer that during the drug run when the truck broke down in 2x07? [x] That Jug SHOULD have called Betty. 👏 His first instinct was to call her and have her bring them a tire, logical. Instead, Arch presses that Betty can’t get dragged into it. Archie does nothing but steer Jughead wrong when it comes to Betty this season, first the break up, then that. Betty would have much rather have helped out with a tire than have what did happen, happen. You can’t tell me that with their powers combined, the outcome of that situation wouldn’t have been better. She and Jug balance each other out. Archie was wrong, and he puts quite a bit of distance between Betty and Jughead with what he thinks is right.

I digress, here we are, Betty with the cell phone of a dead guy, murdered in her house, that she helped covered up… in her house. Cell phone’s can be tracked, a cell phone is evidence he was there. Good thing Sheriff Keller is more interested in seedy motels and missing statues than real crime. 🖕

And she’s freaking out, by herself. Chocolate Chip eating, Clue playing, everything is perfect Alice and Chic certainly aren’t going to be any help.

This episode summary said Jug and FP are on a “spiral out of control” in the episode summary but Betty definitely is the one spiraling here. Writing down every text that phone has on it is just more damning evidence in her home. Sure, the info may be helpful but at what cost?

Seriously Hiram may be a loving father, but he’s a terrible person and not a GOOD father.

Hiram ‘truth? I don’t know her’ Lodge! 🕶

So Shady Man is connected to Chic through drugs, not camming, good to know.

And Chic gave this random drug dealer the Cooper’s address to buy drugs? 👌

Alright, so let me get this straight, Chic was waffling around drinking milk and going on to Betty about how “I’d never tell those guys where I live” and “Boundaries are key. They’ll keep you alive,” in reference to his cam clients in 2x12… but then he tells a drug dealer where he lives, right quick?

Foreshadowing in 2x12 much? 🤔

Coincidence? Poor choice? I think not. Chic is clearly smarter than to have just brought that man into their lives without intention. This does not bode well for Casa de Cooper.

Betty is all of us at Chic at this point, we are all @ ing him.

Thank goodness Betty thought to turn off the GPS on that damn phone.

Chic crying and Betty calling him on it! Praise Betty Cooper! 🤔

Betty is 100% right, if they are going to get caught, it will be Chic, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s not his intention.

Betty was right!! Chic’s tears WERE LIES that smile! 😈 That deviant little smile!

Chic ‘I’m a demon completely round the bend’ Cooper!!

Archie getting in deeper and deeper, even lying, delivering this Lenny story about gambling debt and Papa… he is definitely straying off of his good guy path.

I am low key shocked that Hiram actually went to the Southside for that meeting. 😮

Visually this scene is set up very well. Jug and FP are united together on one side of the room but Hiram is on his own on the other side. Veronica is sitting right in the middle. More symbolism and reference to that line she’s walking?

Hiram is greasy and he never admitted to being behind the statue. 😤

He offers to pay off the back debt of tenants at Sunnyside but at what cost? I wouldn’t trust Hiram as far as I could throw him, and I couldn’t even pick that man up.

Gratuitous Jones appreciation.

Damn straight that was a bribe. Hiram tried to be his normal, lying, two timing self and Jughead saw right through it.

I’m glad FP immediately backed up Jug on the no deal, supported his piece for the paper. I’m surprised that he did, but glad. FP needs to do his fair share of trusting his son. 👍

Jughead Jones, the only person in Riverdale delivering the truth to the people!

Archery for beautiful Cheryl, perfection. 🏹

Hal stayed the whole night at the Thistle house? Not here for this.

Cheryl saw Hal leaving and her first reaction is concern for Betty!

“IT’S REAL WITH HAL”?! Really… disgusting??

Speaking of gorgons what are you, Penelope? Pot call the kettle black much? 🐍

Of course the Lodges are playing dirty, I wondered when the McCoy and Keller affair would come back into play.

That Inspector Gadget hat of SAM’s is…. real extra. 🕵

SAM is talking with Fred now? Does that mean he had to actually give credentials this time? Probably not.

Betty in a normal sweater, who knew that was possible?!??! Who does her shopping? Alice does not wear these crazy sweaters.

Clearly, Betty must share Jughead’s penchant for thrift store shopping. Ugly sweaters abound! They have $20 in their pockets.

…..who is willing to write a Bughead out thrift shopping ficlet? I need this.

She’s calling the numbers on the dead shady man’s phone now? Doesn't that link back to her? Between the rug cover up and the phone calls, nothing is bound to go wrong. 🤦 My stress!

I can’t decide if Betty is a genius or an idiot right now. 🤯

So Betty found his SO and she doesn’t want him back “he’s dead to me.” Well girl, he’s dead, period. 💀

This gives an opening for his disappearance to go without notice. This turns the phone into what seems to be a good thing. I hated Betty keeping that phone and saving contacts. However if she didn’t do it…

The text from Gigi, the shady man’s bae says “Ok honestly not mad, just pick up your phone.” All of the texts from her leading up to this point are concerned for him. It is Betty’s phone call that turns what could have been a phone call to the police making him a missing person, reporting that he is missing. I don’t want our girl going down so…. Here for this. 🙌

Jughead writing with his right hand and using chopsticks with his left hand? Color me impressed. Also catch me so into his hands right now. Is Jug ambidextrous then? 🤩

He answers phone calls from his girlfriend with, “Betty.” What?! 😂

But she called Jug for help!

And he came straight away, no beanie, no hesitation, left his take out without a thought! [x]

Dawww Jug loves Betty so much more than anything, when it’s BETTY>FOOD for Jughead Jones, you know that’s an OTP. 😍

[Jughead] Betty What's going on? What are you doing out here? [Betty] I think I'm going crazy. Jug, my mom's acting like everything's normal when It's not. Everything is falling apart. Everything is falling apart. I need to tell you something. (Cut to break) I can't eat, I can't sleep. I'm just obsessing over this shady man, - his phone and his life. Meanwhile, my mom's acting like it never even happened. God, why didn't I just call the police? [Jughead] You still can, Betty. And you know, you probably should! [Betty] And say what, Jug?

Omg communication! ALL THIS BUGHEAD COMMUNICATION IN THE LAST FEW EPISODES! GOOSEBUMPS! 🤗

THIS is what we had been missing from season 2 that we craved from season 1. Frankly I think this communication in episodes 12 and 13 has been better than any before. THIS is growth and development. THIS is an endgame ship. 💛💙

Jughead is just as nervous and distraught as Betty. And he is our moral compass. But he loves Betty. Shook!Jug. 😓

Jughead putting his arm around Betty, despite how visibly upset he is is giving me feelings.

Jug may have just been losing his shit but as soon as he was put in that situation with the Shady Man’s car, he acted on his feet. He’s in this now. You can see Betty’s expression of horror and relief. You and me both. She clearly was panicking and had no idea what to answer the parking enforcement. Protective!Jug. 😍

I love how Jug asks Betty “How fast can you hotwire a car?” not if she can. What did these two get up to when they were younger for Jug to know without doubt that Betty can hotwire a car? 🤔

Surprise, surprise, SAM is putting pressure on Archie through Fred.

Secret Agent Man is actually Inspector Gadget. 😱

Cheryl is a force to be reckoned with. Her taking on Hal head to head? Watch out. 👊

Cheryl is worried about Betty too. That redemption arc!!!!

Have the parental Lodge’s sent Ronnie to McCoy to call her off and blackmail her? Or is she there of her own accord? 🤨

This feels like Veronica walking that line, by telling McCoy about the Lodge’s plan, she takes away their ammunition.

The license plate to this pimp mobile says, “Centreville, The Maple State.”

I love this show and the pop culture references. The Norman Bates, Psycho, parallel here was great. 🤓 [x]

I about panicked thinking that Jug just helped Betty cover up evidence and the car wouldn’t even sink. I don’t think I breathed until it went under.

A couple who covers crimes together, stays together. 💯💖

“The phone too, Betty, his phone.” See? These two are stronger together.

Betty just disposed of the car of a dead man while wearing mittens. 🤣

If only they had put the body in the car. Why didn’t they put the body in the car? Surely this body won’t just be kicking it in that rug forever.

Jug was wearing black leather gloves. Look at these two, being all crime conscious. 🧤

For all those who have said Jug is the only one bringing demons to the table in their relationship.... Betty is definitely full of her own demons and faults. Neither of them are innocent, they have both made mistakes. But they ARE stronger, smarter, and happier together. 💏

This is clearly a ride or die ship. Ride or die Bughead! OTP! 💛💙

Betty was completely spiraling before she asked Jug for help. She looks so much better already, even while sinking a car.

Bughead in this hot murder mess of Alice and Chic’s. Why aren’t the Stepford’s out here cleaning this shit up? Where are Chic’s mittens?? Murder mittens. 🔪

McCoy is resigning. Sorry, not sorry, Lodge’s.

So Ronnie wasn’t put up to going to McCoy. She did it on her own to save her from what they were going to do. And save her parents from themselves.

Ronnie using the same lie, thrown right back to Hiram, that he used on her earlier in the episode is a damn mood. 👏 I’m Team Ronnie. I’m not counting her out yet.

Honestly, I can’t stand Hal or Chic, but I would take Hal over Chic any day at this point. 🤬

Cheryl and Betty friendship is my shit. 🙋

Cheryl is so extra, but her telling Betty the truth about Hal has to be a good thing.

Why would Chic text Betty about Hal and not Alice??

Chic is as fake as a stuffed bra. From the dollar store. With inserts made out of balloons and expired pudding. On a mannequin. I don’t buy this shaking and crying one bit, he can turn emotions off and on with a snap. There is something seriously off in Chic Cooper. 😐

What does Hal think happened at the Cooper’s house? That there was jizz everywhere from Chic’s sordid profession and they had a bleach party?

Cheryl and her honesty has saved the day. Thank goodness Betty had that information on Hal. He was making me nervous. Leave Betty alone!

Betty laying down the law is something I am always here for. I love it when she takes no shit. Betty ‘don’t start no shit, won’t be no shit’ Cooper. 💪

Chic ‘I’m a lying little bitch’ Cooper trying to act all sweet and thankful to Betty. I am so glad she is finally seeing through him.

So…. where is Hal’s grandfather’s watch? 🤔

Archie revealing to Hiram that he was contacted by the FBI is definitely a twist.

Archie LIKES Hiram? Why? 😩

Arthur Adams aka Secret Agent Man aka Inspector Gadget… dangerous?

I don’t see Hiram’s involvement in anything with the Andrew’s being helpful. He seems incapable of the straight and narrow.

I don’t even trust Hiram as far as I could shove him. 😆

They are literally calling him the Shady Man. This entire episode. This show is extra, EXTRA. 😄

Betty’s first instinct being to go to the Jones, not the police, is giving me feelings. 😍 [x]

These puppy dog eyes are so strong, they even compel murder cover ups.

Betty and Jug must have discussed telling FP everything. I wonder how that conversation went down. Betty: “Who do we know that can help us cover up a murder in a pinch?” Jug: “My dad?” Betty: “I mean… second time's a charm?” 🤷

Jones/Cooper Murder Alliance Club!

FP went out there entirely by himself and dug a giant, perfectly rectangular hole in no time flat.

Forsythe Pendleton ‘Master Gravedigger’ Jones the 2nd, apparently.

And that was lye he covered it with. Smart. I wonder why he left the plastic sheeting, wouldn’t that be obvious? That wouldn’t degrade would it? I am not googling how to disintegrate a dead body with lye…. 🙄

Did FP have that bag of lye laying around, just in case he had another go at murder cover up? Or is Lye something you can casually pick up in the middle of the night on a weekday at the grocer in Riverdale?

Clearly FP must have learned some tricks of the trade in prison. Casual lunch table talk? Inmate: “What are you in for?” FP: “I got caught disposing of a dead body.” Inmate: “Oh well, what you need is…” FP: “Thanks for the valuable information, now let me share with you some very accurate facts about snakes.” 🐍

If you think FP is a real wonder with a shovel, you ought to see him with a hoe. >.>

Andre wears a name tag. For his mob activities. Sounds legit. 😂

I love the visual of Betty, Jug, Alice, and FP at a table at Pop’s. [x]

If I were to cover up a dead body, I know I would plan to meet and talk about it, after the deed is done, in a public restaurant where anyone could overhear all the sordid details. I definitely would not choose the privacy of my own home. 🙅

Sodium Hydroxide? FP doesn’t understand how snake’s shed but he understands Sodium Hydroxide? 👌

Those prison trade secrets he learned really came in handy. I feel bad for that inmate who adopts a pet snake from FP’s snake facts. “Electrolytes, it’s what snakes crave.”

There are some real Falice/Bughead parallels here. There is no doubt that Falice had a past as teens at this point.

[FP] “We take care of our own. The circle ends here. No more loose ends.”

That didn’t work out so well last time… but here’s to hoping!

This moment of reassurance and support between these two gives me so many feelings. I could watch this on repeat.

Alice better be team Bughead after this, or so help me… 😡

Meanwhile, at the Cooper’s, Chic is playing make believe Tales from the Crypt, home alone, cozy fire roaring, casually defacing family photo albums. ✂️ [x] [x]

After everything Archie has done for Hiram, they are driving him out into the woods? 🌲🌲 [x]

Hermione is the boss? Not Hiram? This isn’t adding up to season one. Hermione admitted in a private conversation with Hiram to taking the fall for that letter that Hiram sent. If she was the head honcho�� sup with that? 🤷

Hermione high key needs a fedora and a feather boa, amiright? 🙌

Hermionee - with two ee’s for a double dose of boss... Like a boss.

Archie has done everything he can to protect Veronica. Ride or Die ship number two. 😍

SAM IS A FAKE. WE ARE ALL SO SURPRISED. GASP. 🙄

Of course they were testing him. Could this be anymore Godfather?

“Welcome to the family, Archie.” Could we have some bread to put all this cheese on? 🧀🥖

If you’ve made it to the end, I hope you enjoyed and I appreciate you! I had a lot of fun on the crack!edits for this one. This recap became an ordeal to get done, but it was a great episode! Remember, as always, my inbox, askbox, and all other forms of communication are always open. I’m a word fountain, unending, for this show and I’d love to chat about it with you! Look for the recap on 2x14 coming soon™!

#riverdale #bughead #varchie #jughead jones #betty cooper #archie andrews #veronica lodge #fp jones #chic cooper #recap #heavycrowncreations #s2b #2x13 #hcother

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