Coming here to complain because tell me why all the female framed clothing from horse ranch doesn’t have any dirty swatches (on their bottoms)…………

11:59 pm

Sim Jaeyun x female reader / 645 words / fluff / smut

Warnings: dirty talk, riding, unprotected sex, cream pie, cursing, praising

Disclaimer: contains 18+ content; minors do not interact

Day two of kinktober - sim jaeyun x praise kink

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It had been almost 5 months since you last saw your boyfriend due to his insanely hectic schedule with promoting their newest comeback to preparing for a worldwide tour. All you wanted to do was see him and give him a hundred, no, a million kisses, after being so deprived from his touch. Finally, today was that day. Jake finally had a day off and he chose to spend it with you.

“Hello to you too baby,” Jake chuckled into between kisses as you did your best to shut up him, wanting to skip formalities and catch up later.

“Need you Jakey. We can talk later,” You quickly said, reconnecting your lips and pushing him onto the soft couch. You made quick work of your clothes, undressing him before yourself.

“Baby, wait, I need to prep you before. It’s been a while since we last had sex. I don’t want to hurt you,” He gazed up at you with love and worry in his eyes.

You pressed a kiss to his nose before gently onto his pink lips, “Don’t worry, it’ll feel amazing to be stretched out by you again,” You smirked at him as you saw your jaw drop slightly from your dirty words.

Without another word, Jake moved to flip you over, but you stopped him as you firmly sat on him, “Wait, I want to treat you today,” You gave him your best puppy dog eyes, “You’ve been so busy lately and you deserve to finally relax. Let me take care of you baby.”

Jake groaned at your words as he silently nodded his head. You slowly slide down onto his length, whimpers and gasps escaping both of your lips. You stilled for a second before beginning to grind onto his hard cock, “You feel…so good love,” Jake whinned out with praise, only fueling your need to pleasure him more.

You loved how vocal your boyfriend was. He always told you what he liked and what he didn’t like. It made it easier for you to pleasure him and you honestly couldn’t help but get soaked everytime he praised you for your hardwork.

You began slowly bouncing up and down on his lap, wanting to figure out his mood and pace needed for the night. As his whimpers became more frequent, you knew it was a fast pace type of night, “Fuck, just like that,” He moaned out, eyes closed as his hands tightly gripped your hips, helping you smoothly move up and down on him.

“God, you’re so beautiful, fuck. How did I ever get someone so, fuck, so fucking beautiful?” The words from Jake’s mouth wouldn’t stop spilling out, just how you liked it, “You miss this cock, huh? Fuck, I missed you so fucking much. You’re doing so fucking amazing baby.”

You continued sliding up and down his throbbing cock, knowing neither of you would last very long after waiting for this moment since he left last, “Fuck baby, you have magical pussy. You feel so fucking good. Fuck, I feel like I’m going crazy right now.”

“Cum baby, cum in me. I know you want to after all this time,” You pressed your lips to his as he moaned loudly from your dirty words.

His grip tightened on your hips as he stilled all movement before cumming deep in your pussy. His intense orgasm, triggered yours as you held onto his shoulders tightly, feeling lightheaded from how hard you came.

“Wow, fuck, you never cease to amaze me,” He reconnected your lips into a passionate embrace to slow down the mood of the night, “You have no idea how fucking much I missed you.”

You pressed another kiss to his nose before smiling down at him, “Right back at you Jakey. Round two to come soon,” You winked at him, knowing dirty thoughts were roaming around his head.

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- Admin 🦋

Since I’m in a sharing mood and still feeling it all out, here are my thoughts so far:

I’ve been very inspired by Gielnor as I mentioned, changing things up with the MCC. So there will be 8 Jarls all vying to be the top dog of the former Barrett kingdom. Because obviously Bernike’s brother Aithan was trash and there’s no way the Edirann war didn’t impact them severely. Each is going to get a different ecosystem so I can really play with a lot of build styles.

SO. To keep things cute, instead of fully random families, each group gets basically four couples. One gentry, one yeoman, and two peasants. Everybody gonna be the same age ya’ll because I don’t want to think about adding little kiddos in yet.

Another thing is that I’ve pre-rolled a lot limitation for each area. That means each area will have a maximum number of yeoman/peasant families per level of the MCC! If they go over? That sim will be moving to a new area - which is the only way they’ll be able to leave their area in level 1. Not sure if I’ll open it up as we progress. I also might not share the sizes for ~mystery~

To help as a visual aid, clothing is going to be color coordinated per location.

Eyes - Whysims.

We’re going to be playing with bodyshapes honeychild.

I’m going to limit available careers even more, depending on location. Maybe.

Still can’t decide on skintones yet. I might let myself go wild.

Desert

Color: Yellow

Hair: Dark browns, natural textured, worn in dreadlocks

Naming: undecided

Eyes: Brown (no spots)

Builds: Maxis

Height: Average (5′5-5′10)

Other Features: Freckles, monolid

Buildings: undecided

Dry Coast

Color: Purple

Hair: Auburn/dark reds, wavy, style undecided

Naming: undecided

Eyes: Light Brown/Amber/Orange

Builds: gender? I think not

-Male: Aquilegia’s Androgyny, Lifa’s Trans Shapes, Punk Junky, Runner, July77 Slim Male, Harem Dude -Female: Aquilegia’s Androgyny, Lifa’s Trans Shapes, Fashion Model, Fairie Gal

Height: undecided

Other Features: undecided

Buildings: undecided

Grasslands

Color: Green

Hair: Pale blondes, straight, style undecided

Naming: undecided

Eyes: Green

Builds:

Male: LLB, SBBv2, Consort's Heavy Male Female: Lady Apple, Booty Cutie, Bootylicious

Height: Tall (undecided)

Other Features: Freckles, Pointed Ears

Buildings: undecided

Mountains

Color: Brown

Hair: Black, curly, men have short hair, women have long hair worn in updos

Naming: Names are shorter, blunt. "ulf" and "mar" endings common, Anglo-saxon, anglo-saxon mythology, germanic

Eyes: Hazel

Builds:

Male: BB, HBB, Bear BB Female: Athletic Girl, BBG, Amazonian, Death by Snu-Snu

Height: Short (4'10-5'4)

Other Features: Aquiline Noses, lots of body hair

Buildings:  Homes built of log and stone, vikings-style.

Riverlands

Color: Red

Hair:  Dark/dirty blondes, curly, style undecided

Naming: undecided

Eyes: Teal

Builds:

Male: LBB, Cyclist Female: Rio, CPU, Vol Gal, Cyclist

Height: undecided

Other Features:

Buildings: undecided

Tropical Forest

Color: Black

Hair: Yellow blondes/light reds, wavy, style undecided

Naming: undecided

Eyes: Blue

Builds:

Male: Melodie9′s Fat Family, Consort's Heavy Male Female: Momma Lisa, Rengal V2

Height: undecided

Other Features: undecided

Buildings: undecided

Tundra

Color: Blue

Hair: Black, natural textured, worn in braids

Naming: Names ending in k are very common, names that mean any type of "animal" in other tongues. Use a lot of "q" Inuit, Greenlandic, Mapuche Both Genders (Names are unisex)

Eyes: Purple

Builds:

Both: Melodie9′s Slim Family

Height: Short (4'10-5'4)

Other Features: undecided

Buildings: They don't stay put in one area, tents/caravans.

Woodlands

Color: Orange

Hair: Light browns, straight, style undecided

Naming: undecided

Eyes: Grey

Builds:

Male: Neanderthal, Martaxl’s Plus Size Female: Well-Rounded Sim, E-Neillan, Curvy

Height: undecided

Other Features: Monolid

Buildings: undecided

All of this is subject to change, but I’m having a blast planning it out. I’m going to use some parts of the WRC challenge too, like alignment, health, and birth record. I appreciate any feedback or ideas you might have!

Filling the gaps - part 43 - afbottomstarjeans

Get your confetti, it’s time to celebrate! Including this, all adult female bottoms are replaced. Much wow. And we haven’t even reached part 50 yet.

Anyway, focusing on the matter at hand: Here is a replacement for afbottomstarjeans.

These are recolours of cynnix’s scarf wrapped peasant skirt with flats. I took sunni’s peasant dress and tried my best to create a convincing scarf texture... Kinda worked? The top part looks a little too flat to me. The bottom part has been pilfered from a lovely texture... I’m not certain, where it came from. 😅 If you recognise it and know, who made it, let me know. All in all: These might require a little more work, but it is bearable for now.

The skirts are sorted into everyday, formal and maternity category. They use the normal shoe sound.

Since combinations with diffrent tops varied between “kinda okay” and “I want to gauge my eyes out”, the skirts are not townie friendly.

The preview pictures have been taken with fireflowers’s viking underdress with fitted sleeves.

If you don’t want to use the replacement, custom versions are included in the archive.

All files have been compressed. Preview picture is included in the archive.

The mesh by Cynnix is included with thanks.

+Credits+

Mesh:

Cynnix

Textures:

Cynnix

Sunni

+Download (SFS)+

Quick & Dirty Install instructions:

Custom Skirts

Each file contains one skirt.

Put the recolours you want and the mesh into your downloads folder.

Default Replacement

Delete any default for afbottomstarjeans you might already have!

for this you’ll only need the mesh

To access the skirts in categories other than everyday, you will need a piece of top clothing, that is available in matching categories.  

Recommended, but not necessary:  Lazyduchess’ Separate Top/Bottoms for non-Everyday Clothes Mod

Happy simming!

LoveBot Inc. [1/3]

Summary: (Robot!Valiant Thor x Female!Reader) During a drunken, lonely night, reader orders a sex robot, Valiant Thor. When he arrives, reader’s life takes a turn for the most pleasurable. 

Warnings: 18+, vibrating fingers, clit rubbing

So maybe getting drunk whilst feeling lonely and sad wasn’t the best idea, especially when it landed you with an almost empty bank account, and an email saying you’d purchased an actual sex robot. You looked through the email and saw you’d picked the ‘gentleman’ model, with a unique design. It came with, “vibrating cock and hands;” you almost choked at that. Shit. 

You tried calling customer service, but they told you, as it was made to order, and a unique design as well, that they couldn’t do anything. They didn’t accept cancellations. However, you could return the model upon arrival if you wanted to, and if it wasn’t to your satisfaction. With a sigh you thanked them and hung up, and within a few weeks the large, almost ominous parcel arrived.

Without even opening the box you decided it would have to go back, and made arrangements for a return. You set a time and a date, but nothing happened, no one came and picked it up. You called customer service again and informed them of the multiple occasions you’d tried to arrange a collection but no one came, and they told you it would be fixed within a week. 

A week passed, and nothing, except for a complete refund in your account appearing, much to your surprise, despite the parcel not being returned. With the refund, and the parcel not going anywhere anytime soon, you decided you would finally open it. 

You couldn’t lie and say having this robot in the box this whole time didn’t disturb you in some way. You sometimes thought you’d wake in the middle of the night and find it had turned on by itself and would appear at your bedside. However, it never happened and as you unbox it carefully, your eyes widen at the handsome face that’s before you. 

Oh, he’s very pretty, you think, tilting your head, admiring his neatly combed back hair, sharp jaw and nose, and his plump mouth, all creepily realistic. If you didn’t know this was some sort of machine then you’d think you had a real person tucked away in the box. You unpack him some more, and reveal his body, a nicely gently toned body, that was soft in places, thighs thick, and shoulders broad. 

You shake your head to rid yourself of some dirty thoughts, and grab the manual to figure out how to turn him on. Quickly you flick through and find the instructions, which tell you to use the thin key, similar to what iPhones have to put a sim card in, and press a small button behind his right ear. Slowly you move closer with the key, and gently push his ear out of the way, pressing the key into the tiny button you see and within seconds a voice leaves him, “Greetings, I am your new lovebot, here to please you. The name I have been given is Valiant Thor, however you may rename me as you see fit.” 

You jump a little as he suddenly moves and looks to you, his blue eyes shining a little, “Are you my owner?” He asks, “May I have your name, miss?”

You’re at loss for words, he’s realistic, too realistic, other than the slightly stilted voice, “Um, I-I guess I am, yes,” and you tell him your name, which he repeats. 

“I am programmed to please you as required, if there’s any questions, please ask me, or refer to the manual I come with, miss,” he tilts his head and smiles. 

“T-thank you, I will remember that,” you clear your throat. 

Valiant nods, and he looks at you intensely before assessing the surroundings, which is when it hits you he’s stark naked. 

“Um, Valiant? You don’t come with clothes?” 

Valiant looks at you then, “I do not come with clothes, however I can wear them if it pleases you?” 

“It would please me, yes,” you say quickly, feeling your face heat up as your eyes drift to his very adequate length, that’s currently soft. 

“Of course, miss,” he pauses and looks around, and you realise you need to give them to him. 

“I’ll just get them!” You run out the room and grab some sweats and a shirt for him, bringing them back out, “Here you go.” 

He takes them carefully, and begins dressing, and once dressed he looks at you, “Does this please you?” 

You lick your lips, “It does, thank you,” you say quickly. 

Valiant smiles, happy at that, and he stands in the middle of the room, awaiting an order you assume. You quickly move him to sit down on the couch and he looks to you, almost eagerly, “How else can I please you? Would you like to know all the functions I come with?” 

“Um,” You can just imagine how lost for words you look, and Valiant interrupts you. 

“I come with 3 different personality modes, Submissive, Switch and Dominant, currently I am in Switch mode, but you can change that as you please. I also have special features and functions, including a vibrating tongue, fingers, and penis.” He says very matter of fact, and he smiles as he recites the data, “I am also able to ejaculate and produce saliva, however I cannot impregnate you.” 

“O-okay, good,” you weren’t looking to having a child anytime soon, and you hadn't even thought he’d be able to do that anyway, but they must have had customers think the opposite. 

Valiant nods at your response, “I have extensive memory and I will learn your likes and dislikes. The more time I spend with you, the more natural I will become. I cannot eat or drink, but I can “sleep” when ordered to do so. Is there any more information you require, miss?” 

You shake your head, “No, no I think that’s enough for now, thank you.” 

Valiant seems pleased and he smiles as he looks at you, “Would you like for me to touch you? I am here to please you. If you’d like for me to call you a pet name, I can also do that.” 

“Perhaps, we can just,” you hesitate, trying to think of something, “lay in bed? And you can just call me by my name.” 

He nods slowly, a little stiff, before standing, “I will follow you to your bed,” and he does so, his steps light behind you. 

Once you lay down you take a deep breath, and Valiant lays beside you, looking up at the ceiling, before turning his head towards you. You wonder if he can sense your gaze on him. 

“Would you like to try one of the features I told you about?” He reaches a large hand over and places it on your hip, and you’re quite surprised at his forwardness. 

You hesitate in your answer, contemplating the morality and ethics of the whole thing, as the very attractive man’s, sex robot’s, hand massages your hip. 

“Please? I wish to please you, and my data suggests you are tense.”

“Would it please you? To please me?” You ask him with a soft voice, and he nods eagerly. 

“It is what I was made for, to please you,” his expression is eager, like a little puppy, and you wonder how he’s picked up such human expressions so quickly. 

“O-okay, but, just your hand, no kissing,” you murmur. 

Valiant practically beams at you and he slides the hand that was on your hip into your panties and slowly explores your soft pussy. You take a shaky breath to calm your nerves as it’s been a long time since someone else has touched you. He lays on his side and watches your reactions closely you notice, and you wonder if he’s storing all this away as data for future reference. His touch is pleasant, and you open your legs a little wider to give him more access, which vastly improves his performance, a soft moan leaving you. 

Your face heats up and you wonder if this is too soon, but suddenly a soft vibration runs over your clit and you shiver, blurting out, “Oh fuck.” You look to Valiant who has a slightly smug smile on his face as he circles your clit and watches you squirm more and more. 

He increases the vibration of his own accord, and you find yourself grabbing onto the pillow behind you as you buck against his firm hand. 

“Is this pleasing you, dear?” Valiant murmurs, close to your ear, as he rubs your clit, and you make a pathetic whimpering noise in response, which he happily takes as an answer, “I’m glad.” 

Your eyes roll back and your moans grow louder, when suddenly the stirring in your lower stomach snaps, and soaring pleasure rises through your body, your sight and hearing gone for a split second as it overcomes you, and you release a long cry, your hips bucking up into Valiant’s hand. 

You notice he works you through it, the vibration off now, as he gently massages your swollen clit before coming to a stop and removing his hand. You watch in a daze as he assesses the wetness on his fingers and he licks them clean slowly, almost savouring it. 

“I think we should sleep now,” you pant softly, and Valiant nods, licking his lips. 

“I will be in sleep mode until you wake me, miss,” He lays on his back and closes his eyes and he doesn’t move anymore. Slowly you reach over and poke his cheek, but nothing happens, so you turn off the lamp and fall asleep quickly in your post orgasm state. 

All’s Not Fair in Love and War

A/N: Hi Wispies! So this is chapter 4! This one’s got little fluff and angst. One of my fav chapters so far. Hope y’all like it! 💜

PART1, PART2, PART3

CHAPTER 4

The next few days went by in the blink of an eye. The only good thing that happened was the return of Woods and Mason.

There was too much for the team to process. The most shocking information was the Greenlight nukes revelation- American nukes run by Hudson which were now in the hands of Perseus. Had it not been for Adler, Hudson would have been killed by Woods when he tried to shift the blame for his blunder onto Adler. While the group was busy figuring out a way to get the control on the nukes or at least find a way to stop Perseus from launching them, Adler decided to break into the KGB headquarters to get the names of the Sleeper Agents. The plan was to break in with Woods and Mason, but they were still stuck in their mission. So it was up to him and Bell.

Hudson was definitely not happy with Bell going in, while Adler was adamant on taking Bell with him. Rei herself wasn't happy with Bell going- what if the side effects of MK-ULTRA showed up? Who would be there to control Bell? And if the side effects showed up and blew their cover, she'd loose Adler forever, even if they are separated.

Reasoning with Adler was like arguing with a wall. Once he decides on one thing, he will never let go of it. "Russ, this is an unnecessary risk! Not only from Hudson's perspective about loosing the names, but also Bell. We never know when he might go out of control."

"Rei, if I were to play everything safe without risks, then I wouldn't be here in this job." The cockiness of his tone irritated Rei to no end. She so badly wanted to just slap him to reality.

"Adler, don't you see?! This is not just about you and your bloody Perseus. You're taking an unnecessary risk and you're going to get us all killed!" Rei shouted. Adler simply puffed. She slapped his hand, so the cigarette fell off. "Fucking look at me when I'm talking to you." Rei growled. Adler looked at her. "You're angry for no reason." Rei shook her head in disbelief. "You're a prick, you know that?" Rei sighed and walked off. Adler watched her leave with a sad expression that was fortunately covered by his shades.

"Gear up, Bell. We're leaving."

-

The entire time since Adler left for the HQ, Rei kept fiddling with her fingers. The thought of things going downhill and loosing Adler worried her. And as a cherry on top of the situation, she was mad at herself for fighting with him before such a high-risk mission. "Relax. We haven't heard anything about Bell so far." Sims said, bringing her a glass of water. "It's not about Bell, Sims. It's just. Does he have to be so damn difficult all the time? I mean, we just had to wait for Mason and Woods. Save the headache." Rei buried her face in her hands. 

"That he is- adamant. But doc can still pull out the riskiest missions without much problem! I wouldn’t be worried.." Rei smiled lightly. She hadn't noticed that the entire time, she accidently bit her lower lip a bit too hard. The familiar taste of metal started to fill her mouth. Drinking some water, Rei decided to go out for a smoke. She definitely needed to clear her mind.

-

Once Adler got back to the base, he was welcomed with a silent treatment from Rei. Luckily, nothing much happened to Bell, except for one moment of discomposure and confusion which was quickly brought under control, thanks to Adler's trigger phrase.

The first thing that Rei did was send Bell back with Sims to the apartment. He needed a proper rest, before putting in another session again. The sleeping pills worked pretty well. Bell was able to sleep better with little to no disturbances.

Once the rest of the team dispersed, leaving only Mason and Woods, Hudson, Rei and Adler, she stomped towards Adler's table, slamming it hard.

"A day's delay wouldn't have killed you Russ! I don't even know what to do with you!"

"Good to see you too, Rei." Adler rolled his eyes. Pulling out a cigarette to light, Rei got irritated even more at him.

"Look, my whole job revolves around risks, but the mission was a succ-"

"I don't care about the damned mission, Adler! I'm not Hudson!"

"The hell did I do?!" Hudson shouted from the corner.

Rei was completely red. Her eyes started getting watery. This was obviously noticed by Adler. He swallowed his retort, knowing that whatever he might say next will ruin the situation.

"Okay okay, lovebirds. This fight ain't gonna get you two anywhere." Woods butted in, his arm around Rei's shoulder. "Say, how about we all go for a drink?" Mason's face lit up like a 100w bulb. Rei smiled lightly at Woods, nodding her head. Adler just shrugged.

"Not me. I'm too occupied for that." Hudson declared, earning a groan from Woods.

"Alright let's go!" Woods announced, pulling Rei with him.

"Those two will never change." Mason chuckled. Adler nodded, smiling lightly.

Rei was a female version of Woods. Loud, boisterous, and hyperactive- they clicked instantly. Together they would annoy the living hell out of Adler and Mason.

-

Just a few shots and Rei was already down. Frank and her almost got kicked out because they both decided to pick on a random man. He kept flicking the man's forehead, while she squirted water at him. Mason and Adler somehow managed to get the troublesome duo out of the situation.

Later they started picking on Mason. The poor man couldn't even get out of the situation without giving in to their crazy demand to go and dance on the stage.

Rei kept snuggling into Adler's neck, poking his cheek every once in a while. The whole time she just kept staring at Adler. His dirty blonde hair, the facial scars, the little wrinkles that added more charm to his alluring face. Adler didn't seem to mind her gazing. He just wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her so that she doesn't fall of the chair. And also so that she doesn't hop away into the crowd.

Frank was busy repeating his tales of bravery over and over, while Mason just sulked about his embarrassment. Once Adler noticed Rei dozing off, he decided it was time to leave. "Alright. I better take her away before she completely passes out." Woods earned a smack on his head from Adler, because he kept whistling and shouting "Fucking shag each other and get back already."

Getting her into a car was an absolute headache, but entertaining too. Rei thought she was flying, keeping her from falling was a huge task, especially with those ridiculous heels of hers. She kept jumping around. Adler's soul almost left his body when she jumped down the stairs. Miraculously, she ended up on her feet, perfectly fine.

Once in the car, she dozed off immediately. Being a heavy sleeper, it was difficult to wake her up when they arrived at Adler's apartment. Giving up, he pulled her out of the car and carried her.

Once they reached the room, Adler gently put Rei on his bed. Caressing her cheek lightly, he placed a small kiss on her forehead.

"Don't go." Rei's tiredly looked at Adler, clutching onto his jacket.

"But...are you sure?"

"1594%. Now come." She forcefully pulled Adler to bed. She turned away from him, pressing her back to his chest. Putting a blanket on them, Adler held Rei close to him. She held his hand, her thumb lightly caressing his fingers, before she slept off.  For the first time in several weeks, they had their first peaceful sleep together.

-

Waking up in the morning, Rei looked around at her strange settings. And there he was, Adler, holding her lightly. Before she could even process anything, bile started rising to her throat. In less than one second, she was already in the bathroom, throwing up her dinner from last night. She could hear the ruffling of sheets and footsteps.

"You okay?" Adler stood by the doorframe, looking at Rei worriedly.

"Russ don't come in here, its disgus-" before she could finish her sentence, you turned away to vomit. Adler pulled her hair back, gently rubbing her back.

"I'm never drinking again." Rei got up, holding Adler's arm for support. Adler ruffled her hair lightly.

"That's what you said last time." He smirked. Rei let out an airy laugh, washing her mouth.

"Freshen up. I'll make some eggs." Adler walked towards the door.

"Scrambled, please?" Adler smiled at her. She's always loved eggs and Adler is great at it. Not just with eggs, but with the whole art of conjuring food with his magical hands. Rei always wondered why he joined the CIA instead of using his brilliant cooking skills. He'd have made a great chef.

Walking out of the bathroom, Rei put on one of Adler's old sweaters. Her clothes were unfortunately covered in vomit and sweat. 'I'll have to stop at the apartment before going to the safehouse.'

The smell of eggs and bacon filled the house making Rei’s stomach grumble.

"Mhmm... I missed your cooking." Rei said, stuffing the eggs in her mouth. She was famished.

"And I missed your eating sounds." Adler chuckled.

Rei looked at Adler, initially annoyed, but it soon melted into an affectionate expression. With a hand on his cheek, tracing his scars, she kissed him, softly. Adler tilted his head lightly, deepening the kiss. Placing his forehead against hers, he whispered "I missed you."

Rei nodded lightly, giving out a 'mhmm'.

A big smile danced on Rei's lips as she stared into Adler's eyes.  She once again pulled Adler into kiss, a rough and hungry one this time. Sloppy and messy with lots of biting from Rei (she's a biter), Adler pulled her up. He lifted her with ease, her legs around his waist. Oh how they both missed the intimacy.

Little did the two lovebirds know that things were just going to get more complicated.

Taglist:

@sophtheunlikelybakeryfestival

@pookolokon

@quizzyisdone

@nikkibell1937

Survey #461

“this city looks so pretty, do you wanna burn it with me?”

Have you ever wanted a Nikon camera? Or do you have one already? My camera before the one I have now was a Nikon D3200. I use a Canon now. Who was the last person (if anyone) you said Happy Birthday to? A friend. Do you have Photoshop? If so, how often a day do you use it? I have it, but I barely use it nowadays. I use it to edit photos for character profiles or profile pictures, add a watermark for my actual photography, and I used to make Mark-oriented gifs like crazy. They mostly did really well, so... I might wanna get back into that and get That Sweet Validation. Do you watch any shows that you know your parents wouldn’t approve of? No. Have any of your exes gotten married or had kids since your breakup? None, I think. Do either of your parents have a mental illness? My mom has depression. Can you tolerate children for a long period of time? NO. Have you ever lived with someone you felt thoroughly uncomfortable around? No. Are you into dubstep? Yeah, I tend to enjoy it. Zelda or The Sims games? Can I pick neither? lol I don't feel very much at all for The Sims, and Zelda games have always looked... boring to me? Like I've watched most of the Game Grumps' playthroughs of all the games, and they make it hilarious of course, but the games themselves? Nah. Are you terrible at assigning bands their proper genre? YES YES YES YES YES YES. Even in my preferred category, that being metal, FUCK if I know the sub-genre. Have you ever made out in a closet? No, that shit sounds claustrophobic as hell. Have you ever been to a laser tag place? Yeah, on a triple-date once! It was SO fun. How do you wanna celebrate your next birthday? Have a couple friends over, pig out at The Cheesecake Factory. o3o Do you tease your parents about them being old? No, especially not Mom. She's self-conscious about getting older. Are you in love with someone? "In love" is a bit too far, buddy. But I love someone. Have you ever ridden a unicycle? No. Have you ever wanted a pet bunny? I was VERY serious about getting a lop-eared bunny for quite a while, but we just couldn't afford to adopt one (even off Craigslist) and get a cage for it, toys, etc. Are the bottom of your feet clean? I HATE seeing the bottom of my feet. Not because they're dirty, but because it's Callus City. I ain't even fuckin jokin'. Do you like really salty food? Yeah. :x When’s the last time you bled a lot? Well, I just recently finished my cycle after not menstruating for three or four MONTHS, so you can figure that one out. Have you ever watched a needle go into your own skin? Yeah. I like to know exactly when it's coming. Have you ever seen someone get a piercing/tattoo? Yes to both. When you’re done eating finger foods, do you usually lick your fingers? Usually kasdjlf;kalsdjf shut up ok I like food. What’s the most racist thing you have ever said? As a little kid, when my really good friend (a neighborhood kid, even) asked if he thought we'd be a good couple, I told him no because "blacks and whites don't date" or something like that. It was an idea I'd never been exposed to before; the idea was so foreign to little kid me. I had no idea I was being racist. It ended in a small fight and we didn't talk for a few days 'til he came to my house telling Mom that he had to "be a man" and fix this and if that ain't the cUTEST SHIT RIGHT THERE. We were friends again after that. He's still on my Facebook, and he actually semi-recently got married! :') Do you know someone that is mute, deaf or blind? No. Have you ever spent more than two weeks in a wheelchair? No. Does weed smell good? Or no? Ugh, no. Where do you see your closest friend in ten years? Successful and happy she kept pushing. Mama to so many reptiles that are blessed with the best lives possible in human care. Got at least one amazing book out there. If she's reading this, you've fucking got this. <3 Would you like to have twins? Mother of fucking god, no. Even if I WANTED kids, do fucking not give me twins. Who was the last person you got into an argument with? My mom. Want to have kids before you’re 30? Once again, I don't want kids, but IF I did, that'd be preferable before the risk of birth defects and other issues climb with age. Does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it? My older sister has my initial. Do you think somebody’s in love with you? No. Do you think you and your best friend will be friends in ten years? Yes, I genuinely do. Who were the last people to hang out at your house? Miss Tobey, our friend and landlord. Does anyone like you? Welp... I hope he still does. Guess we'll figure that out soon. What person on your Facebook do you talk to the most? VIA Facebook? Probably my friend Lyndsey. She likes to comment on stuff I share. Do you want to fall in love? I do, but I'm also utterly horrified to and risk being hurt again. Are you interested in more than one person at the moment? No. Once I realized I was so deeply into Girt, all other romantic feelings kinda just... poofed. How was your last break up? Civil and done with both of our best interests in mind. What is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to say? Probably the first time I admitted I needed to go to the hospital for suicidal thoughts. I was so, so scared of what it was going to be like. What is the hardest thing you NEEDED to hear? That if Jason wasn't happy with me, he had every right to move on. She was right. Do you treat yourself well? No... but I'm trying to change that. What was the last song you sang out loud to? This "Set Fire to the Rain" cover. Do you take good pictures? I think I do? Have you ever done any internship? No. What’s a topic you’ve drastically changed your opinion on? Holy shit, so much, especially when it comes to morality and political stances. I am now a massive supporter and member of the LGBTQ+ community, I'm pro-trans rights, pro-choice... I've done like a dozen 180s in a lot of topics. Do you know anyone who has a PhD? I mean, some doctors, but no one in my truly personal life. Do you know anyone who works as a lawyer? Yes: my cousin. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? LAKSDJFKLA;JWD NEVER AND I PRAY TO THE HOLY LORD THAT I NEVER DO. Does the thought of having wrinkles when you’re older upset you? Not massively? Like literally everyone gets them and is natural and inevitable. Do you know anyone who’s struggling with addiction? I know one alcoholic, and one that's probably borderline. I also have two friends who are extremely addicted to weed. Look me in the eyes and say it's not an addictive substance and I wouldn't believe you one bit. Is there a video or computer game that you can get lost in for hours? Eh, sometimes World of Warcraft. Some days I'm really into it, and others I barely touch it. What’s your favorite Disney Channel movie? I have no clue. I don't even remember movies that were made *for* Disney exclusively. Do you ever have to do yard work? No. We have a friend from the dance studio mow the lawn. Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? My iPod has a whole live album of Ozzy. Did you or do you listen to Britney Spears songs? Both did and do. Britney is a boss bitch. Does your favorite band have a male or female lead singer? Male. Have you seen the movie Moulin Rouge? No, but I've seen some of that P!nk music video of the song and it brings out the Gay in me. Do you have a key to anything besides your house? No. Could you ever complete a 500-piece puzzle? I've done that before. I miss doing puzzles... Have you ever been to any sort of convention? I went to a reptile expo with Sara!! I REALLY want to go to another when my legs are stronger and can handle standing and walking so much. Is your mom or dad the older parent? Mom. Have you ever tried to walk on a moving vehicle and fallen over? No????? What is your favourite kind of bread? Is there any of that in your house? Pumpernickel. No. Are/were you in the school band, and if so, what instrument did you play? I played the flute all through middle school and I wanna say half of HS. Have you ever ordered an unusual drink at a bar? Never even been to one. Have you ever been pulled aside by security at the airport? I think once for some reason I don't recall? What is your favourite seasonal candy? (only available at certain times) Gingerbread men, probs. Or chocolate bunnies!!! :') How do you feel right now? My stomach is KILLING me. I'm super excited though that Girt is coming over tomorrow. Have you ever had surgery that kept you in the hospital for over a day? No. What would you like your generation to change? How we treat nature. Is there anyone that you truly could not live without? No. I learned that is a very unhealthy mentality to have. Do you like carrots more if they’re raw, or cooked? I just hate carrots. What restaurant did you last go out to dinner at with friends? With friends? I couldn't even guess. Does your refrigerator have an ice maker or do you use ice cube trays? It has an ice maker. Do you have a favorite sibling, if any? No; I love them all. Do you have a favorite brand of clothing? I STAN CLOAK. How’s the love life? Something new might start tomorrow. I think it will. Do you watch the news? No; that shit is depressing. Who do you admire most? Mark. Do you have a favorite album? Black Rain by Ozzy Osbourne takes the cake and always will.

Scrapped Story Challenge

I got tagged by @skyburned​, thank you! <3

The Rules:

Post a few screenshots from a scrapped scene / edit / story!

Share why you scrapped this specific thing

Tag five friends, and watch the fun play out!

As for the Vampire Academy comic, I don’t actually have many scrapped scenes/edits, I actually only found one XD I tend to plan everything as to avoid wasting time on things I’ll not use, so I guess this was an exception.

This is the full panel that got cut to only focus on Rose’s face, back in chapter I - page 7 (top right). After the wasted time editing the whole thing to just use a bit of it made me rethink how I was doing things, so I plan better now. As for scrapped stories.... oh boy, sit down and have some popcorn XD Since it’s not VA related, I’ll put it under a cut. It’s trying to keep the comic going that is hindering alternate projects, but it’s nothing too new if you fallow my other Tumblr... unless you read to the end.

I don’t want to say these are scrapped stories.... more like, Temporarily In Limbo Projects:

The NaNo-born HP thing.

Before I started the VA comic, I nearly started a comic about an original story that was born in a NaNoWriMo over 10 years ago. It was a sort of alternate future of OCs I had in a Roleplay in back in the day, set in the Harry Potter universe. I never finished the story - 250 pages in English and 3 chapters away from finishing it to this day =’). Once a year I go back to read it just to feel the cringe.

What stopped me was all the extras I’d have to edit in, mainly cloaks and robes - because everyone had cloaks/robes, dragons (even if only for a chapter... 6 years ago no one had converted the dragons to sims 2 yet) and the hair of the protagonist. So I started VA instead, because it felt easier.

The AU Slice of Life thing.

From time to time, on my reblogs tumblr, I post images from the most “recent” OCs from the last roleplay I was in - I like to roleplay, ok? Once on FB a friend had posted a link to one of those online generators, there was one about generating demons and I tried it out. Funny enough, the very first result I got remembered about me about my character Thea. So I jumped to Sims and tried to make her as a demon, based on what the generator gave me and this was the result:

This was the first pass at the idea, but I wanted a tail and different feet...

And so came the no.2 pass, that I’m still sort of working on in the background. I liked this idea, placing my characters and the characters or my friend in a different setting. I wanted to write that story, but I needed the input of my friend and she doesn’t seem very interested, so I dunno if I’d be able to write a full story, I need her to bounce ideas with. Then I thought to just make slice of life images, the cool parts I have in my head, without having to layout a whole story. Again, problem would be having to edit things in, mainly tails (all tails would have to be hand painted in), feet aaand in the case of one of my friend’s girls, wings would have to be edited in. Oh and clothes. I don’t think finding decent harem style clothes is easy even today.

The I-Was-14-and-Wrote-Detective-Stories thing.

I got my first PC in 1996/7, no internet those days. And after I finished watching the last episode of a Brazilian soap opera about a female detective (A Justiceira), I decided create my own female detective and write stories. I wrote the 1st story in one hour and it only had 7 pages (in which I believed that American female detectives sporting midriff tops and high heel shoes to active work was completely normal). I still have those printed 7 pages XD And the cover I made for the book lol Only one friend of mine has ever lay eyes on those stories. It started all good and well, robberies and murders and stuff, but fast I branched out to human cloning, space travel, time travel, genetically altered wolves, alien abductions, religious/alien cults in Mexico, plane crashes, ghosts and an incident during the Paris-Dakar event... I was a huge X-Files fan at that time and got hugely influenced u_u I had 22 books planed, I wrote from 1997 to like 2003-ish if memory serves. Only finished 11 while the others stand in various degrees of scattered notes. As mentioned before, from time to time I go back to read it all and feel the ultimate cringe and wonder what I was on back in the day. It’s completely insane at times, but maybe with a bit (A LOT) of polish I could make something out of it. If nothing else, maybe remake the book covers in the Sims because back in the day it was only MS Paint and some cartoons on Powerpoint that I stripped and drew over on paint with a mouse to draw the covers and other scenes. It’s hilarious looking back at how dedicated I was, hot damn! I made wallpapers, Win95 desktop themes, Winamp skins, you name it XD That female Detective was the very first of my OCs and I never made her in the Sims correctly, maybe I should look into that because all I have to show for her is this XD Covers ranging from 1998 to 2003 (I only learned about Photoshop in 2005).

So these are my dirty little secrets that I might or might not one day act upon. Here, have a cookie if you made it this far. As for tags, people who have stories going probably have stuff to show so, @grecadeasimsstudios​, @esotheria-sims​, @veninorchid​, @quiddity-jones​, @cindysimblr, @grisdidthis​​ :P Again, if it is not your cup of tea, it’s ok :)

The Glenn Legacy: G1, Entry #6

START HERE | PREVIOUSLY ON: Bimby got her hair styled and her blondeness back, bought a whole new wardrobe full of tacky pink outfits, friended Jamie-the-delivery-guy-slash-hairdresser, and made no progress whatsoever towards fulfilling her Lifetime Want of reaching golden anniversary. Which at least gives me time to figure out how in the hell you do that, since I've never had to. I'm used to playing nerds who want to max out all their skills and sluts who get super bummed if I try to marry them off, what can I say.

Bimby wakes up wanting to be BFFs with Jamie, friends with Cathy the mail lady (also the only female sim in this four-man town with whom Bimby hasn't had a short-lived but disastrous relationship) flirt with some rando and...buy a florist bench? 'kay. Will do. Dump it outside and pray it doesn't rain. Let's also move the phone to a saner place while at it. And now she wants a bronze badge in flower arrangement. I'm not sure where this green thumb crap is coming from, but whatever. This is the longest that Bimby's aspiration meter has been in the gold, and it may be a good idea to have her be reasonably happy when she next goes hunting for a soulmate.

BFF-ing Jamie seems like an easy want to fulfill, considering their relationship score, so we’ll call him over and get that done in between smashing out bouquets to get that badge. Which, again, not sure why she suddenly needs, because it's not like she doesn't already have a pile of junk sitting in the yard waiting to become a car or a novel she needs to finish. Not to mention that she hasn't painted anything in a long while. But FINE, take up another hobby why don't you.

Jamie agrees to come over once he is finished gussying up. Bro, you don't need to take the trouble, she gay. Probably you are too, although I have yet to make a final decision in that regard. And oh, look, it's raining! Fantastic! Let's gossip about zombies!

(I might have choked on my tea when this very thematically appropriate chat bubble popped up.)

That's that want taken care of five minutes in. Yay. Although I'm not getting myself psyched up for this relationship, since Bimby has historically had Bad Luck with people and there's no telling whether or not Jamie will reveal himself to be a scumbag in the long run. That, and he won't move any part of his body to make G2 come about, making him useless for the purposes of this legacy. I mean, yeah her aspiration meter just hit PLATINUM for the first time since she left CAS, but won't this woman think about the babies she ought to be having?! I swear. The nerve of her!

Incidentally, Jamie's outfit, I've belatedly noticed, is both terrible and shoeless. Meaning that he came over to Bimby's place barefoot, in the rain. Boy may... not be very right in the head.

(At least they're Sexy Feet?)

Jamie makes the smart and commendable decision of not dallying outside watching Bimby try and fuck up flower arrangements while the rain pours down on them. Instead he heads to the living room and commandeers Bimby's bass while she smustles happily.

*smustle smustle smustle*

Fine, they're relatively cute together. She can keep him at least for lunch. Which... will take a while to materialize, since we're fresh out of groceries and the usual delivery guy is currently in Bimby's kitchen, getting told a dirty joke involving a fish and a slice of pizza. So the game generates a new delivery NPC, this time a chick, who dumps $650 worth of food on Bimby's doorstep (she's too busy giving Jamie a backrub to accept it) and won't get to appear in screenshots until I exit the game and replace her face, hair, clothes, name, everything.

Anyways! Food!

Bimby manages to cook up a respectable bowl of chili without setting the kitchen on fire. Jamie has atrocious table manners, but so does she, so it's whatever.

They wind up watching some TV and gossiping about Nancy. Great that she’s at the stage where she can laugh about it, I suppose. Having had a Very Nice Day, Bimby heads to bed to recover from all that smustling and socializing, and of course now is the perfect time for something to go wrong.

We have a burglar! While the game is on 3x speed, no less. But it’s fine, the alarm will handle this, no point in interrupting Bimby’s beauty sleep to-

Wait, crap. It turns out that there is NO intruder alarm. We forgot to install one of those back when we got the one for kitchen fires. *facepalm* BIMBY WAKE THE FUCK UP, THIS ASSHOLE IS MAKING OFF WITH YOUR BASS!

...of goddamn course it had to be the bass. We just can’t have nice things around here, can we?

Fortunately, Bimby manages to haul herself upright in time, sneaking around Amin the Burglar to reach the phone and call the cops. Since her energy levels continue to be drastically low (she barely managed an hour of sleep before this nonsense ensued) she heads back to bed, not sticking around to watch Conan the Policeman deliver one hell of a beatdown as he catches Amin sneaking out. At least no one is getting shot dead. Someone somewhere surely has made a mod that allows for that to happen, but I’m not going looking for it.    

Conan does snarl a whole lot whilst stashing the perp in the car, though. Probably he’d rather also be home in bed at this ungodly hour. 

Bimby herself is already fast asleep by the time the notice that she’ll get her money back comes in. No prize for whoever guesses what we’ll be spending it on first.

The Sims 4 Island Living - Early Access CAS Review

Huge thank you to the EA Game Changer Program for providing me with the opportunity to play Island Living early!

I’ve been hemming and hawing all day about whether or not to post this because obviously everyone has access to the game now but I figured I put a lot of work into it, so why not! I know it’s like way late but I had a lot going on during the very short time frame we were given for early access (less than 24 hours) and these reviews won’t be too in depth because I still haven’t really had a chance to explore the new pack fully, but here’s what I have anyway 😊

It’s all under the cut because I apparently had more to say that I first thought lol Seriously, next time a new pack comes out I might just stream. It’d be a lot less hassle for everyone involved and I could just waffle to my heart’s content!

See a preview of all the new CAS items here

From what I’ve seen so far of this pack, the Sims Team put so much time and effort into making everything look amazing, especially the CAS items, which might have meant less time went into making sure everything actually worked properly, but I’ll get into what that means for CAS items in a bit. For now, let’s just start from the top!

🌴 The Hairs

I think my absolute favourite thing about this pack by far has to be the hairs. It’s obvious the team have been working super hard since Seasons to give us better quality hair types and styles, and with all the new hairs in Island Living I think it’s pretty clear that they’re absolutely nailing it so far. They still have a long ways to go when it comes to inclusivity, but I think they’re on the right track and I can’t wait to see what they have in store for the future!

I mean all you have to do is look back at Base Game hairs to see how far they’ve come. Back then they had yet to figure out how to make not only simple wavy hair and textured up-dos look good, but more importantly they really struggled with natural hairs (I think we all know I’m referring to the infamous cauliflower hair fiasco).

But look at a few of these GORGEOUS Island Living hairs! I honestly would have paid full price for this expansion, even if I hated everything else in the pack, just to get my hands on those hairs!

I only have a couple minor issues with the hairs. The first being the curly side ponytail that was featured on the female sim in all the trailers. It looks amazing but it clips through literally everything the sim wears. I know there’s probably nothing they could have done about it though and it’s a beautiful hair, so I’m glad they included it.

The second issue I have is that yet again, there is a hair who’s texture overlaps an area it shouldn’t. We seem to get one of them in every single pack these days and this time it’s the big curly bun. The texture overlaps the back right section of the top and bottom teeth:

🌴 The Clothes

The clothes looks amazing as well, in general, but I do have a few issues with the clothes. Not major issues, just generally things could have been done a little differently I guess.

First of all, let’s get the obvious out of the way. Once again teen-elder males, children, and toddlers got very little in this pack. This has become a trend with all new packs now and honestly, it’s never really worried me before because I have pretty much always played female sims, but now that I plan on playing Island Living with Luca I’ve realised just how annoying anyone who plays exclusively male sims must find it! I’m also just realising now as I type this that none of the clothes would suit elder sims either which is kind of sad.

I wish I could say I was exaggerating when I tell you I spent the better part of five hours in CAS trying to give Luca an Island Living make over the other day, but I can’t. I legitimately spent almost five hours in there. The new CAS items for males fall into roughly three categories; traditional islander, cheesy Hawaiian tourist, and swimwear. With an added smaller category of what I like to call “Was I in a shipwreck or did I drop my clothes in wood chipper?”; a handful of clothes that are all torn and ripped for some reason. So, though all the new clothes do look really nice, none of them really suit the style that I wanted Luca to have, and because there is such a limited amount of adult male CAS items in general, it took me forever to find stuff I liked on him and I’m still not entirely sure I like most of what he’s wearing, but I just couldn’t spend any more time in CAS lol

I was also quite disappointed that there were only two hairs for children and none at all for toddlers. Toddlers only got eight things in this pack. Adult females got 67! And as far as I’ve seen toddlers can’t really use any of the new gameplay items either. So pretty much all they can do with this pack is play in the sand and splash in the shallows. What we need is just a whole pack full of stuff for every age and gender EXCEPT young adult females.

This is also one of the areas I think suffered from too much focus being on making them look pretty instead of making sure they actually work properly. If you look at the image below you can see by the top three that some of the clothes have very visible seams and quite bad clipping, especially with muscular/heavier sims.

As for the three images on the bottom... Listen, I love the concept of the bikini bottom with the transparent wrap, and the one piece with the tied top but the textures on all three of these pieces are just... not great. It looks like whoever made the green swimsuit and the pink shorts went absolutely bonkers with the normal maps and highlighting; they look like they’re made of rubber.

The swimsuit is also supposed to be tied at the top but the knot is just a flat texture, there’s no dimension to it at all. The same goes for the bikini bottom and wrap, it’s not only a very low quality looking texture but the bikini bottom is just painted straight onto the outside of the wrap, which bothers me probably more than it should lol I think most people probably wouldn’t even notice or be bothered by these things but this is supposed to be my honest opinion of the pack and I honestly feel like a few of the CAS pieces (like the three above) don’t fit with the rest of the art style of the game.

Side note that has nothing to do with Island Living: I also wanted to add that I’m not happy at all that the pride content we got with the patch did not include a Simlish version of the “It Gets Better” tee. Like MANY other people, I don’t like having English in my game, so I won’t be using that particular swatch I guess.

Overall, I really do like the Island Living clothes a lot. I just feel like I probably won’t use many of them outside of Sulani, and also that more effort could and probably should have been put into making sure they didn’t just look good but also that they worked properly on sims of all sizes and didn’t clip or have holes in them, and that they all fit in with the art style of the game.

🌴 The Mermaids

If I’m being completely honest, I’ve never really cared much about having mermaids in my game. I played with them for a few weeks when The Sims 3 Island Paradise came out and then didn’t touch them again. I haven’t had much of a chance to play with them in Island Living yet, but I can already tell you that I do like them more than TS3 mermaids. However, I’m probably going to stop playing with them in TS4 after a short time as well just because they don’t really have a lot of replay value for me.

They look amazing though! It’s clear a lot of effort was put into making their animations look very natural and organic while they’re in the water. The added animations like their tales hanging over the edge of the tub when they have a bath and the funny little dolphin squeak thing they do randomly were really fun to see happen in game and made me giggle, and I really like the addition of them having a hydration bar instead of hygiene. I’m very happy that they can swim in pools as well! Ooooh and that mermaid kiss 😏

I do wish some things about them were different though. For starters, I wish there was more customisation options for them. Four tales and two “scaled” tops for females, only one top for males that doesn’t have scales on it, and with the exception of different colour options, none of them can be customised any further than they are already are. I really wanted options to add little fin pieces and spikes off the sides of the tales or some barnacles for the elderly mermaids. Maybe some tail scars and missing pieces, and definitely some more facial features like gills, fin-shaped ears, even more scars. You know, basically just anything other than typical Disney style mermaid appearances. I think I might have been far more interested in them if I could have made a mysterious, dangerous-looking siren.

But mostly I just wish they had been made more... I guess MORE of an occult life state? As they are now they’re very similar to the way aliens were made and I’ve always thought EA did aliens hella dirty with the way they were kind of just added as an afterthought in Get to Work and make no real contribution to gameplay. The only occult state that I feel hasn’t been done poorly was vampires and I was REALLY hoping mermaids would be more like that. Instead mermaids have powers that don’t really do a lot, a hydration bar that doesn’t kill them if it drops too low, they can drown human sims but not other mermaids, and when a human sim eats mermadic kelp and becomes a mermaid... nothing happens. They just have a tail when they next go into water; it’s very underwhelming.

I wanted them to be able to earn points to spend on leveling up their powers like vampires but with maybe an added bonus of... something like reputation. So depending on how they use their powers and what traits they have, they could earn a reputation as either a good, wholesome mermaid who just wants to live among the humans and be happy. Or, they could turn to the dark side and become an evil, scheming siren who spends their time plotting how to torture any poor humans unlucky enough to be lured in by their songs.

But that’s obviously not how they ended up being made, and I’m probably just gonna end up playing with them for just long enough to see everything they have to offer and then moving on to more interesting things. I knew that would probably be the case going in to this knew pack though,  so I don’t really consider that a deal breaker when it comes to the pack as a whole.

🌴 The Verdict

Overall I really like the CAS items in this pack. I have some issues with them, but as I said, none of those issues were deal breakers. In fact, every single piece of clothing could have been broken in some way and mermaids could have been absolutely awful to play with, but as long as those hairs were exactly as they are; I’d buy the pack just for them 😍

All thoughts and opinions expressed in this review are my own. I am not paid by EA to “hype” their games; I am given the opportunity to review their games early in exchange for an honest review.

8:39 pm

Sim Jaeyun x female reader / 684 words / smut

Warnings: marking, teasing, cursing, degrading, dirty talk, grinding, making out

Disclaimer: contains 18+ content; minors do not interact

Day twenty of kinktober - sim jaeyun x marking 

⊱ ──────────────────────── ⊰

You knew it was a dumb idea, no a terrible idea, but all you wanted was Jake’s attention and he was preoccupied with talking to his hometown friends. Jay was one of your best friends and you knew he wouldn’t ever take things seriously, which is what led you to dance with him, maybe a bit too friendly. You were grinding against him with your hands running along his neck as his hand carefully held your waist, not realizing your true intentions. You were waiting for it and when it finally came, you could feel your panties become soaked with anticipation and excitement. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Jake growled at you after pulling you away from Jay to the nearest bathroom to chat.

“What? I thought you were having fun talking to your friends? Especially that one girl. I was having a bit of my own fun, with someone who would actually give me attention,” You spat back, knowing how much it aggravated him.

“You want to be a brat tonight, huh? Is that it?” Jake chuckled to himself as a smirk spread across his lips, “Fine. If you want to be a brat tonight, I’ll treat you like one.”

With that, he locked the door behind him before lifting you on top of the sink and sinking his pearly whites into your neck. A loud moan left your lips as you unconsciously wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him flush against you to feel his hardening cock push on your clothed core, only being shielded by your dripping panties. His hand held your neck firmly against his moist lips as his other roughly gripped your waist to keep you in place. Your hands were tangled in his styled hair as you let your head fall backwards to give him more space to paint with red marks. He loved how well you submitted to him, giving him exactly what he wanted without any more sass.

“Look at you trying to be a good girl for me. Should have thought of that sooner love,” Jake scoffed at your desperate attempt to win him over from your previous bratty behavior, “You look so good with my marks on you. Let’s make a few more, then everyone will see who you belong to.”

“Please, more,” You whimpered out, loving the feeling of his lips roughly sucking onto your sensitive skin as you felt him tug and nip at the skin to ensure marking.

Another loud moan rang out as he moved to the other side of your neck, now littering you with red nips, bites, and marks. You could have came from him just marking you up, but you held back, knowing how riled up he was getting from how pathetically you tried to grind into his hard cock, while loudly moaning his name.

“Jake, more. I want more,” You whined with tears in your eyes as you kept them closed, hearing him laugh at you, “I want to feel you.”

Jake harshly bit the skin underneath your ear and sucked as if his life depended on it, making you squirm underneath him. His hand roughly kept your hips down as a constant string of moans escaped your lips, signalling how close you were to your high.

“Cum for me baby. This may be the only one I give you,” He commanded with venom in his tone as you obeyed his orders, whimpers spilled from your mouth as you laid your head against the cool mirror behind you. 

Jake let you catch your breath before helping you down from the sink, “Go say goodbye to Jay and let him admire my artwork,” He smiled, pulling your hair into a ponytail to show off your marks as he opened the door for you before smacking your ass with encouragement. You could care less if others saw the red marks on your neck, you found them hot. From the way Jake was glaring at you as you left the bathroom, you knew you were in for it tonight, and you couldn’t contain your excitement. 

⊱ ──────────────────────── ⊰

- Admin 🦋

Time and Space (A Dream for You) - Finn/Rey Fic

For @finnreyfridays; I was given a couple of prompts for Force-bonds and soulmates and thought I could combine the two.

Laundry duty wasn’t bad, per se, he’d rather be doing this than latrine duty, but with only droids to talk to and many of them programmed to largely ignore any conversation with humans that didn’t involve orders, FN-2187 started to find that his punishment wasn’t laundry, it was isolation.

It started to connect to why he was being punished in the first place. Phasma was losing patience with him and he knew it. This time, it was because he was stubborn to change his ways, going back to help out a fellow cadet who got her arm stuck between a wall and a barrier while trying to collect her lost blaster during a sim. FN-2187 knew he should have left her, but she was his teammate for this exercise and leaving a teammate behind felt wrong to him.

And when the sim was over, Phasma marched right up to him and sent him to the laundry facilities below the decks of the Supremacy. “To learn how to operate independently,” she said with a tone as cold as the chromium of her armor.

So that’s how he found himself here, doing the mindless task of folding and hanging clothes whenever a droid dropped a freshly laundered pile in front of him. At least it was mindless and not that unpleasant, FN-2187 told himself, but he had never taken on punishments in the form of chores without having another human around for company.

It was nice for the first couple of hours into his shift, but by the second day of duty, after not having a lot of chances to speak with his bunkmates or communicate with the other cadets as he usually did, FN-2187 was feeling uneasy in his work, trying to strike up a conversation with droids that spoke with human languages, only to become fidgety when the droids just spoke a few words to him before ignoring him for their work.

For the first time in his life, FN-2187 experienced the kind of loneliness that came from isolation and found it differed greatly from the loneliness he felt when he was with his fellow cadets and unable to bond with them, knowing they didn’t quite accept him as one of their own.

Then he got the idea that he could create someone to talk to in his own mind. Someone that he wished was around to be his friend. FN-2187 wondered if there was anything odd with having a friend that didn’t exist, but he supposed it wasn’t much different from having the droids for company. As long as he kept this quirk to himself, he should be fine.

FN-2187 let his imagination go wild.

For some reason, his mind created an image of a girl tanned from the sun and dark brown hair pulled back into three interesting buns. Her freckles starred her light skin, but he could also see the thin lines of scars on any skin that was uncovered by the clothes she wore. Not that he was shocked that he thought up a girl for a friend, but it was strange to him that he would think of someone that wasn’t part of the First Order. Phasma would never tolerate the dirty and ripped rags that wrapped around her frame.

But something about the girl captured FN-2187’s thoughts. We’re alike. You and I, she seemed to say with her eyes as she looked straight at him. Her eyes seemed bright, a caramel brown with flecks of green, like she was standing in sunlight. She looked unsure of herself but so full of promise and when she looked right at FN-2187, he thought he saw something mischievous in her smile.

Whenever he thought of the girl, he never felt alone.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Blast!”

Rey looked out the old, dusty viewport of the AT-AT that she was slowly turning into a sad excuse of a home. It didn’t look like she’d be going out scavenging today. Outside, she noted how the sand around the old Imperial relic was being picked up by the wind and deposited a few inches away. It was not the usual gusts that Jakku experienced. No, this was the beginning of a sandstorm.

She dropped to the floor and quickly pulled back a loose panel where she stored her emergency rations underneath. Counting, her face dropped when she realized that she only had enough to comfortably live off for three days.

It would have to last for six, she told herself.

Her days were spent sleeping, brainstorming better ways to booby-trap her home to keep the other scavengers out, and working on piecing together the flight simulator she had dug up in the skeleton of a Star Destroyer. One day, she would learn to fly, she told herself, and when she did, Rey would leave Jakku to search for her family if they hadn’t found her yet. But she was certain that would be any day now.

Tallying the marks on the walls and adding the age she had found the AT-AT, she guessed that she was thirteen years old now, and she did an inspection of herself as she recalled that her body was changing, though the changes were so minor that she really took no notice. Her hips were wider than they were a year ago and her chest had begun to swell in the way that female humans did. There was more hair too, but she didn’t think much of it.

She wondered how much longer she would have to wait.

By the fifth day, her stomach pains were becoming unbearable. Rey was no stranger to hunger but at least when she was scavenging, she had something else to think about. To be safe, she was living off a third of a ration pack each day. But now, she was feeling dizzy when she stood up and her vision often became spotty. Resting was about all she could do, but her stomach kept her from sleeping for long.

And she was lonely. Well, she was always lonely, but this was a different kind of lonely. On an average day, she could get out and see the sky. Even with no one to talk to, Rey was free to move about and explore. Some days, she would look at the other scavengers and wondered what it would be like to have a friend, but Rey never found it in her heart to trust anyone. Already, she had seen what happened when you put your trust in the wrong person.

But it would be nice to have a friend.

She allowed herself to imagine one, shocked with her mind’s choices and how clearly she could see him. The details she imagined almost made him seem real.

She envisioned a boy a little older than herself, with dark skin that reminded her of the umber powder sometimes sold in Niima and the traders that came from Socorro every couple of months. His face was… well, she couldn’t quite describe it but it was certainly a face of a friend. His eyes were honest, and that was the most important thing about him. Curiously, she noted the pristine white chest plate of stormtrooper armor and wondered if he would have found it buried somewhere in the Graveyard. Or maybe he was a young bounty hunter or pirate that like to mix and match; the white was far too clean to be on someone from Jakku.

At some point, Rey believed that she fell asleep thinking about this boy. A name never came to her, nor did his surroundings or a scene ever come into motion, but she did hear his voice.

We’re alike. You and I.

She wanted to reach out to him, to touch him, but there was always something preventing her from doing so.

Thinking of the boy always made her feel warm inside.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Running towards the cockpit, the man almost collided with the woman he met in Niima. Almost immediately, they broke into smiles and words of praise flowed from their mouths.

"That was some flying!" He still couldn't believe their luck. "How'd you do that?"

"I'm not sure," the woman answered excitedly. "I've flown smaller ships, but I've never left the planet."

He couldn't quite believe that either. "No one trained you? That was amazing!"

Cheeks tinting a light pink, the woman turned her attention to the man. "And you? Your last shot was dead-on. You got him in one blast!"

The man smiled back. "You set me up for it... but it was pretty good, wasn't it?" He was trying hard not to be egotistical, but it was hard not to be pleased with yourself when you just took down a TIE-fighter.

Silence passed between them as the pair stood smiling at each other. Comfortable with one another already, it was hard for either to recall the last time they felt like this. The man gazed at the woman's face and wondered why it looked so familiar to him. There was no way they could have met before his defection from the First Order. The way she looked at him with a quiet curiosity told him that she might have thought the same...

The droid at their heels chirped at them with urgency, breaking them out of their thoughts.

"You're OK," the woman said as she kneeled down to the droid's height. "He's with the Resistance. He's going to get you home. We both will." Then she stood up and looked back at him. "I don't know your name..."

"Finn," he answered, realizing he didn't know hers either. "What's yours?"

"I'm Rey," she replied with another quiet smile.

For a reason he could not explain, a memory long-forgotten resurfaced. Well, it was more of a voice than a memory, one that soothed him in the loneliest of times.

We're alike. You and I.

Me and stephanie dancing up Christian

"ROB SIMS presents KellyMBentley.Com in 2008! "

Female 26 years old ATLANTA, Georgia United States

Last Login: 4/13/2008

I love models and everything to do with the glamour industry. I am seriously into photography. I love to dance and I am currently learning to sing. I am crazy in love with my American Pitt Bull Terrier "Layla" and I love spending time with her playing freesbee with her and my loving fiance Django. I love fast cars preferrably American Muscle. My favorite would be a Trans Am. Long live Cassondra

Music I love all types of music, but my favorite is Classic Rock including the Grateful Dead, Bob Dylan, Doors, Def Lepard, AC/DC, Primus, Nine Inch Nail all kinds of artists. I love dancing to hip-hop, but I really don’t have any favorites.

Movies I love chic flicks and cartoons. I’ve never really been a fan of horror flicks. My favs include Notebook, Ratatouille, Sweet Home Alabama, Youve Got Mail…you get where this is going.

Television I love reality shows. I was on the Coyote Ugly Reality Show but I hated it. My favorites shows include Pussycat dolls, ANTM, Ghost Hunters, Dirty Jobs, Rock of Love, Make me a Supermodel….well all of them except American Idol…hate that shit!!

Books I dont read anything but war books and Cosmopolitian magazine. Oh yea and the Bible of course. Heroes All of our American Military men and women especially those close to me….Andrew Goldman, Jason Edmondson, Chris Willis, and my sweet uncle Kurt. Love and appreciate you guys. If you have a friend or relative serving I send me their name and I will post it here to show my appreciation.

The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Details

Status: In a Relationship Here for: Networking, Friends Orientation: Straight Hometown: Alabama Body type: Slim / Slender Ethnicity: White / Caucasian Zodiac Sign: Libra Smoke / Drink: No / No Education: College graduate Occupation: Model

The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Schools Southern Union State Community College Wadley, AL Graduated: 2002 Student status: Alumni Degree: Associate’s Degree Major: Computer Science

2000 to 2002

The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Companies NOPI Motorsports Atlanta, Georgia US Nopi Chic Model

Construction Cuties Atlanta, Georgia US

M Bentley Productions Atlanta, Georgia US

The Kelly M. Bentley is Taking Over the F*cking World!

The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Latest Blog Entry [Subscribe to this Blog]

Rob Sims and Kelly Bentley 2008 (view more)

RIDE FOR LIFE…..Relay For Life Charity Event (view more)

Coyote Ugly Episode 5…Thank God its Over! (view more)

National Glamour Showcase Florida (view more)

Coyote Ugly Episode 4 (view more)

[View All Blog Entries]

The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Blurbs About me: Its hard to describe myself because I am constantly changing. So to start, above all else, I am a bad ass bartender. I bartend at OPERA Nightclub here in Atlanta, Geogia. Its the biggest and hottest club in Atlanta. I also bartend at the Irish Bred Carrollton where I can fulfill my bar dancing passion to AC/DC, Buckcherry (Crazy biotch!), and Def Lepard. I love serving up cocktails with a little sassy shake some come by either place and check me out!!

Second, I am a model and one of the hottest female entrepreneurs on this planet. In modeling, I specialize in glamour, fitness, and promotional modeling. I always have something going on somewhere. I’m partnering up with NOPI as a NOPI CHIC for 2008. I love doing charity work so keep updated on my events and help us out. As an entrepreneur, I own half of a calendar production company with JM Polsfuss that is responsible for the hottest calendar coming out in 2009 Construction Cuties. Watch for it!! I also just teamed up with get this…yes…The Rob Sims….which we will have my website launched by the end of Spring to help heat up the summer for you. Also watch for all the magazine covers, layouts, spreads, etc. coming soon…I told you guys I’ll be taking over the WORLD!! Lastly, I am a regular girl that had a dream and am still forcing it to come true come hell or high water. I’m from a small town, but I’m working hard to fulfill my big city dreams as well as those of other girls who want to be models with MODELICIOUS. So if you want to try modeling, don’t listen to people when they tell you that you cant do it, they said I couldn’t, and I look at me…so don’t listen, contact me and lets see what we can do. I DONT DO ANYTHING FOR FREE….so don’t ask. I have a small network of professional models I use and promote because they have become friends. Don’t ask for my contacts, because I work hard in promoting and networking myself so why should I just hand over my hard work to you. If you want my network, you pay for my network.

THINGS YOU WOULDN’T GUESS ABOUT ME: No one would ever guess that I used to be in the Army National Guard. I used to be on Active Reserve as the RA for SFC Robert Cornett. I got out in 2005. I also used to wiegh 170 lbs. I gained a huge amount of weight when I quit drinking and smoking. Yea a lot of you thought it would never happen. I quit cold turkey and the turkey went to my ass. I lost 50 lbs. on the Subway diet. I was recently on the Coyote Ugly Reality Show on CMT and hated every minute. I also have a degree in Political Science and Computer Science with a minor in Military Science. Just some cool quirks about me. TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF – The Survey Name: Kelly M Bentley Birthday: October 7th Birthplace: Anniston, Alabama Current Location: Atlanta, Georgia Eye Color: Green Hair Color: Blonde/Brunette..hell I don’t know Height: 5’5" if I’d stand up straight Right Handed or Left Handed: Right Your Heritage: Irish/German &..39;The Shoes You Wore Today:’ My beloved flip flops Your Weakness: Your Fears: airplanes, elevators, and scurrying vermon Your Perfect Pizza: cheese/pepperoni without any sauce Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Be at 8% Body Fat by the end of the year Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: I dont even know how to set that shit up… Thoughts First Waking Up: What in the hell are the Backyardigans? Your Best Physical Feature: My big ghetto booty Your Bedtime: When ever my mind decides to quit thinking Your Most Missed Memory: No clue..too much memory lost Pepsi or Coke: Caffeine free coke MacDonalds or Burger King: both are some nasty shit…I dont put it in my body! Single or Group Dates: Cant remember my last date… Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I don’t drink any tea Chocolate or Vanilla: Just hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt Cappuccino or Coffee: Caffeine free Coffee Do you Smoke: hell no Do you Swear: I swear I cuss too much Do you Sing: Did you catch my show? Think I’ll stick to the shower. Do you Shower Daily: more than once Have you Been in Love: Only twice for sure Do you want to go to College: Been there done that Do you want to get Married: Umm….when I’m too old to know better Do you belive in yourself: more than anyother person besides Roy Do you get Motion Sickness: Do you think you are Attractive: No but others tend to disagree Are you a Health Freak: Absolutely Do you get along with your Parents: depends on the day of the week Do you like Thunderstorms: love them Do you play an Instrument: In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: don’t drink alcohol In the past month have you Smoked: I quit when I was 20 In the past month have you been on Drugs: hell no drugs are for weak people In the past month have you gone on a Date: I havent gone on a date in the past few years In the past month have you gone to a Mall: No..I hate the mall..I’m in need of another personal shopper In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: yea right…my trainer would shoot me In the past month have you eaten Sushi: I don’t eat fish In the past month have you been on Stage: too many times In the past month have you been Dumped: No In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: I wish In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No but someone stole two of my damned portfolios Ever been Drunk: Plastered on many occassions Ever been called a Tease: What girl hasnt Ever been Beaten up: No but I got launched off some steps one time Ever Shoplifted: no I only steal hearts How do you want to Die: at 200mph on the Autobahn What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I’m doing it but not grown up yet What country would you most like to Visit: Ireland In a Boy/Girl.. Favourite Eye Color: Any that don’t lie Favourite Hair Color: any that I can run my fingers through Short or Long Hair: either Height: all heights Weight: weight doesn’t matter Best Clothing Style: clothes dont make the man Number of Drugs I have taken: Don’t do drugs Number of CDs I own: not too many Number of Piercings: ears and belly button Number of Tattoos: 1 Number of things in my Past I Regret: only 1…if you know me you know what it is

CREATE YOUR OWN! – or – GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Myspace Layouts – Myspace Editor – Image Hosting

Who I’d like to meet: TO ALL MODELS AND PHOTOGRAPHERS: Now that I am partnered up with Robs Sims who is the most published photographer on the planet also owner of FitBeauties and FitModels International Magazines, photographer for Oxygen, MuscleMag, InStyle, American Curves, Maxim, FHM, Mens Health…okay I’m tired already. Too many to list. Google him for the rest…lol. Rob and I will be offering photoshoots to ambitious models with the guarantee to be published. Yes there is a catch. 1)like I said I don’t do anything for FREE 2) Neither does he 3) you have to be approved by me first. Sorry ladies…I have to be picky. Feel free to submit to me for shoots with Rob. I will be honest and give you feedback. WE ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT CAN GUARANTEE YOU PUBLICATION IN MAJOR MAGAZINES.

Posted by dcsmith2752002 on 2008-06-23 13:19:11

Tagged: , KELLY , M , BENTLEY , IN , ATLANTA , GA , NIGHT , LIFE , BASIC , BLACK , FORMAL-WEAR , AND , CASUAL , -WEAR , ATTIRES

The post Me and stephanie dancing up Christian appeared first on Good Info.

GET TO KNOW ME TAG

Thank you @pink-chevalier for tagging me! ❤

RULES: Post a pic of your simself with your traits and answer the questions!

Tags: @viper-fish, @disanity-sims, @cherrylattesims, @champslezsims, @daisydezem, @yourappa, and whoever else wants to do it. If you’ve already done this or don’t want to you don’t have to.

If you want read about me, all a&q after the cut!

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Piper

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? Pipes

3. BIRTHDAY? June 7

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? I’m not sure, I mean there’s Harry Potter, A Series of Unfortunate Events, and a million more that I like.

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? I believe in aliens, I’m not so sure about ghosts.

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? I’m not sure, maybe Jane Austen?

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? Don’t have any.

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? Chocolate.

9. WHAT WORD OR PHRASE WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? “What the hell?! This is frickin’ awesome!”

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? thank u, next

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? Crap.

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? thank u, next

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? Gilmore Girls, duh!

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? You’ve got mail.

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? I play so many video games.

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? I have a lot: spiders, weird noises, my family hating me, my friends turning against me, being alone, my family dying, and so many more.

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? I care a lot about other people.

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? I lie too much.

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? Dogs! Plus, I’m allergic to cats.

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? Summer or Winter.

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? It’s complicated.

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? Not having to worry about money.

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? Shayda.

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? Blue.

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? It’s kind of a honey color, like a very dirty brown, but with blonde highlights.

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? I love my family, my friends, the simblr community.

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? My mom.

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? My great-grandma.

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? Not really...

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? Sims!

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? Peppa Pig!

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? My dad or brother.

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? No.

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? Not really...

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? Either one.

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? Writing and reading,

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ?  Little Women.

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Dumplin’

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? Piano.

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? Idk.

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? I have too many that I follow (stalk).

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? Flying...invisible...all of them.

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? In the shower or just laying down in bed under a ton of blankets.

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? A lot of things. When someone’s funny, getting to relax, having no homework, ect.

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? Softball, soccer, and basketball.

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? Milk, which is kinda really weird.

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? I don’t remember.

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? No.

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? When people purposely try to annoy me.

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? Yes.

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? Nope.

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? I think I wanted to be an actress or a singer.

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? The Wizarding World.

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? I worry about a lot of things.

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? I’m scared of what’s inside the dark.

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? Yup.

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? Yup.

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? My bedroom.

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? Somewhere in France, England, California, Greece, Italy or Japan.

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? A fish...

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? Night owl.

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? Both are so pretty.

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? No.

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? Earbuds.

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? Nope.

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? I like a mixture.

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? My mom.

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? Sometimes.

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? How stupid some people can be.

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? Both are good. It kinda depends on the book.

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? English or History.

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? 2.

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? A sweatshirt.

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′4.

75. CAN YOU COOK? I'm pretty good at cooking.

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? My family, my friends, and food.

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? Dumb people, spiders, and people whom think they’re smart but are actually dumb.

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? I have more female friends.

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? Straight

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? California.

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? My best friend.

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Two days ago.

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? I have too many.

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? Sometimes.

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? YouTube.

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? It’s amazing.

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? British.

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? Japan, Greece, England, France, and Italy.

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 8.

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? I wish!

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? Yes.

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? Outer Space.

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? Eh.

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? Yeah. Cats.

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? Yeah.

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? Yeah.

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? Sometimes.

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? Forest.

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? Keep moving forward.

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? Yes, unfortunately and fortunately.

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? Griffindor.

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? Yes.

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? Ambivert. Which is both. It really just depends on my surroundings.

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? Kinda.

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? Yes, but it depends.

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Try to find the person who dropped it.

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? If someone really wants to change then, they can change, so in a sense, yes, I believe people can change.

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? Yes.

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? Yes..

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? Yes, my ears are pierced.

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? Elizabeth, from Pride and Prejudice.

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? No.

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? Idk.

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? Not really.

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? No.

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? Yes, but not now.

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? My parents.

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? ...

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? Way too many times.

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOUR CLOTHES? Black, white, blue, and red.

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? Yessss.

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? Kinda.

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? I would prefer to not share that right now.

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.“

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? Sweet.

simself tag I was tagged by @fussysim I tag any of my followers that want to do this

take a shot every time I say “my boyfriend”

traits: goofball, foodie, clumsy aspiration: friend of the world 1. What is your full name? tristan egbert 2.What is your nickname? tris/tj 3. Birthday?‪ december 14‬ 4. What is your favorite book series?  I don’t,. really read that often 5. Do you believe in Aliens or Ghosts? Y E S 6. Who is your favorite author? once again I really don’t read 7. What is your favorite radio station? pop + alt 8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? mango, fruit punch, etc etc, I like fruity things 9. What word would you use to describe something great or wonderful? “holy shit!” 10. What is your current favorite song? I have too many favs at all times for this 11. What is your favorite word? curse words lots of curse words 12. What is the last song you listened to? self esteem - the offspring 13. What TV show would you recommend for everyone to watch? ‪jane the virgin, how I met your mother, izombie, Gotham, hmu for more recs ‬ 14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? marvel movies + childhood movies 15. Do you play video games? mostly sims, I have others but I don’t have the accessibility to play them hh 16. What is your biggest fear? being alone 17. What is your best quality in your opinion? I’m good at listening and I’m a big people pleaser 18. What is your worst quality in your opinion? how lazy I am and how quickly I get peeved/angry 19. Do you like cats or dogs better? cats! 20. What is your favorite season? autumn 21. Are you in a relationship? yes :D 22. What is something you miss from your childhood? not much if I’m being honest 23. Who is your best friend? my boyfriend 24. What is your eye color? yellow, red, forest green and royal blue 25. What is your hair color? split pink & black but naturally dirty blonde 26. Who is someone you love? my mom + dad & my boyfriend & my siblings 27. Who is someone you trust? my boyfriend 28. Who is someone you think about Often? m y b o y f r I e n d 29. Are you currently excited about/for something? starting testosterone :) + meeting my boyfriend next year 30. What is your biggest obsession? uHh. cc, sims, Netflix, marvel, my boyfriend 31. what was your favorite tv show as a child? hannah montana, icarly, victorious, sam and cat, there are so many more but I’m absolutely blanking rn 32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to? I don’t really have many friends that are girls .. oops? 33. Are you superstitious? 50/50 34. Do you have any unusual phobias? none that I can really think of 35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? kind of both 36. What is your favorite hobby? PHOTOGRAPHYYYYY 37. What is the last book you read? i. don’t. read. 38. What is the last movie you watched? fantastic beasts with my boyfriend and his best friends 39. What musical Instruments do you play, if any? I am trying to learn guitar but I have ADHD/ADD and I have a hard time self-teaching 40. What is your favorite animal? panda, red pandas, fox, raccoon, turtle, cats. 41. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? I just started out. pls. 42. What superpower do you wish you had? I just wish I wasn’t this dumb ((I’m keeping ur answer, I’m wheezing)) 43. When and where do you feel most at peace? when I’m on the phone with my boyfriend 44. What makes you smile? my boyfriend, sims, music, photography 45. What sports do you play, if any? none 46. What is your favorite drink? monster mango loco + pacific punch 47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? recently I keep a journal of notes to my boyfriend 48: Are you afraid of heights? y e s 49: What is your biggest pet peeve? misophonia, look it up 50. Have you ever been to a concert? yeah 51. Are you vegan/ vegetarian? no, I honestly don’t have the motivation or willpower to do it but when I move in with my boyfriend that’s gonna stop HDHBD 52. When you were little, what did you wanna be when you grew up? cosmetologist/ photographer 53: What fictional world would you like to live in? I can’t think of the name but the place in guardians of the galaxy 54. What is something you worry about? being alone, dying, people not liking me, embarrassing myself. 55. Are you scared of the dark? no, and yes 56. Do you like to sing? yes but I’m not good at it 57. Have you ever skipped school? I dropped out bc of it so yes 58. What is your favorite place on the planet? anywhere my boyfriend is 59. Where would you like to live? U.K. 60. Do you have any pets? 5 cats 61: Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? night owl 62: Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? sunset 63. Do you know how to drive? yes but I don’t have driving license oops 64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? earbuds 65. Have you ever had braces? no, but I need them 66: What is your favorite genre of music? pop punk + indie + pop + basically anything but country, folk, classic dhsjsj shit like that ion like 67: Who is your hero? I don’t think I necessarily have one? 68: Do you read comic books? yes 69: What makes you most angry? misophonia, being blamed for things I didn’t do, not being listened to, being undermined, etc things of the sort 70. Do you prefer reading a book on an electronic device or on a real book? both tbh 71. What is your favorite subject in school? art 72. Do you have any siblings? 10 73. What was the last thing you bought? I can’t remember   74. How tall are you? 5 foot 4 75. Can you cook? not exactly 76. What are three things that you love? boyfriend, music, my cats 77. What are three things you hate? anxiety, fear, abandonment 78. Do you have more male or female friends? male 79. What is your sexual orientation? homosexual but panromantic 80. Where do you currently live? united states /: 81. Who was the last person you texted? my boyfriend 82. When was the last time you cried? idk!!! 83. Who is your favorite youtuber? jacksepticeye 84. Do you like to take selfies? yes I am very insecure but also very vain ((god we are the same person)) 85. What is your favorite app? twitter 86. What is your relationship to your parent(s)?  kind of don’t like necessarily like them but I don’t hate them 87. What is your favorite foreign accent? British accents but this is biased bc of my boyfriend 88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? japan 89. What is your favorite number? 14 90. Can you juggle? nope 91. Are you religious? I don’t.. know… 92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? outer space, ocean scares tf out of me ((keeping this too)) 93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? impulsive but not daredevil 94. Are you allergic to anything? freshly cut grass tbh 95. Can you curl your tongue? no 96. Can you wiggle your ears? no 97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? normally when it happens if I catch on, if I didn’t realize I was wrong I admit when it’s pointed out 98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? forest 99. What is your favorite piece of advice anyone has given you? uh I haven’t really gotten any 100. Are you a good liar? unfortunately yes 101. What is your Hogwarts house? hufflepuff 102. Do you talk to yourself? when I’m pissed 103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert 104. Do you keep a journal/diary? yes but they’re more like love notes to my boyfriend 105. Do you believe in second chances? yes and I give more than that bc I’m weak and too nice for existence 106: If you found a wallet full of money, what would you do? …. id be lying if I said I’d turn it in right away, I would have to contemplate that 107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? yes but only with help 108. Are you ticklish? yes 109. Have you ever been on a plane? nope, will be next year 110. Do you have any piercings? eyebrow, labret, septum, tongue, my ears are stretched, and I have more piercings planned 111. What fictional character do you wish were real? … uhhHhh I’m blanking 112. Do you have any tattoos? I have an XØ and a fiatp symbol on my left wrist 113. What is the best decision you’ve made in your life? following my boyfriend back when he followed me, to begin with 114. Do you believe in karma? yes for sure 115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? glasses 116. Do you want children? 2-3, I’m adopting though 117. Who is the smartest person you know? my boyfriend 118. What is your most embarrassing memory? I have many 119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? all the time 120. What color are most of your clothes? black or my fav colors 121. Do you like adventure? YES 122. Have you ever been on TV? nope 123. How old are you? 19!! 124. What is your favorite quote? If nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies. 125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? savory (and spicy!!!!!!)

Menstruation!

Yes, that’s right, menstruation! Something half the world’s population experiences on a monthly basis - the regular discharge of blood and mucosal tissue from inner uterine lining through the vagina and...are all the dudes gone? 

Sweet. 

Let’s talk about Mackenzi Lee’s fiercely feminist follow-up to The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue: The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy!

“You’re trying to play a game designed by men. You’ll never win, because the deck is stacked and marked, and also you’ve been blindfolded and set on fire. You can work hard and believe in yourself and be the smartest person in the room and you’ll still get beat by the boys who haven’t two cents to rub together.” - From the ARC of The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy

For some reason, I have a terrible time writing about things I really, really like. I can go on and on about that one thing that I hate (and I do, often), but when I like something, I say “hey, I like that” and then not much else. My eloquence deserts me when I have to articulate why it is I love something beyond “aw man it’s the best” and then nothing else. Not sure why that is. What I do know is that I finished reading The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy on August 28th, actually, it was August 1. I know how dates work. I started writing a review as soon as I finished it, then just...didn’t. Perhaps it’s pure laziness. Perhaps its writer’s block. Perhaps it’s because I’m in the middle of another epic book binge (five books in, four to go, plus a novella and possibly an ARC of book 10!). 

Whatever the reason, I’ve come back to this review over and over, determined to be clever and such, but...man it’s just harder to write about things you love versus the things you hate. It’s very easy to criticize (fun, too), but writing endless praise gets boring fast.

So how am I supposed to describe how much I love Mackenzi Lee’s books?

Mackenzi Lee’s works are the book equivalent of a warm, comforting hug. A hug delivered directly to your brain, with words. The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue was one of the best books I read last year, and its sequel does not disappoint in the slightest. Lady’s Guide is 100% pure feminist awesomeness. If you’ve ever been angered by the patriarchy, then this book is definitely for you.

Since praise is hard and complaining is fun, let me take a moment to complain.

All girls, all women, really, know how it is to feel “less-than” for simply being female. That shit starts the minute we’re born and it’s pervasive as fuck. It never stops. Even in a world where a family cannot survive on just one income, women are expected to work two jobs: one for pay, and one for free. Women are described not as people, but as extensions of others: “Wife”, “Mother”, “Girlfriend”, “Daughter” - as if that is all we are, and all we’re expected to be. (On a related note, I am so tired of books with titles that end with “wife”, “daughter”, “sister,” etc. Also, describing women as “girls.” Fuck that shit, I’m an adult, don’t you call me “girl.”). All the bad things that happen to women are our own fault somehow. Rather than teaching men not to attack women, women are expected to take every single precaution in the universe to protect themselves from men. A single “lapse”? Well, then, anything that a man does to you is your fault. Ladies, have you ever had to fake a hypothetical male partner in order to avoid being harassed? Because men would automatically respect a non-existent male before a real human female?

I am so fucking tired of all of that shit. I am so tired of women being blamed for every single bad thing that happens to them. I am so tired of men getting away with harassing, demeaning and belittling women. I am so tired of male authors saying shit like “Mary Shelley didn’t really write Frankenstein!” I am so tired of women’s accomplishments being treated as “less-than.” I am so tired of a woman’s value being equated with whether or not she has a husband or children. I am so tired of a woman’s worth being equated with her appearance. I am tired of being paid less for the same work my male coworkers do. I am so tired of job interviews with loaded questions meant to suss out whether or not you’re planning on taking maternity leave (because it’s illegal to ask if someone is planning on having kids, but perfectly OK to ask “what are your future plans?” wink wink). I am so tired of all of it. It’s bullshit. All of it is bullshit, and the fact that being a woman means fighting an uphill battle every goddamn day just makes me tired.

And all I’ve described above is just a fraction of the bullshit women of color experience. It’s the fucking worst.

This is why we need books like Lady’s Guide. The patriarchy might not be as visible or obviously terrible as it was in the 18th century, but it’s still here, and still as toxic as ever. 

Ahem. Anyway. Ladies Guide! See, I can complain forever. When it comes to things I love I’m like “uh, I love it, you should read it” and that’s it.

Lady’s Guide takes place roughly a year after the end of Gentleman’s Guide - Felicity is living and working in a bakery in Edinburgh. She’s been trying, and mostly failing, to get accepted into medical school. But, this being the 18th century, and Felicity being a woman, she doesn’t get very far. After her coworker at the bakery proposes to her, dismissing Felicity’s desires for an education as nothing more than a phase, Felicity decides to take off and try again in London. She sets up shop with her brother and Percy, living happily ever after (because Monty/Percy forever, goddamn it!) and attempts to get into one of the London medical schools via subterfuge. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work out. Felicity is on the verge of giving up when one of the hospital’s more enlightened board members gives her the contact info for Alexander Platt - a trailblazer in the medical field and Felicity’s idol. Dr. Platt might just take a woman on as a student, but he’s all the way in Stuttgart...

...about to get married to Felicity’s childhood best friend, Johanna Hoffmann. Sounds like a perfect way for Felicity to ingratiate herself with Dr. Platt, right?

Except Johanna and Felicity had a falling out years ago. As kids, Felicity and Johanna loved exploring and science and getting dirty, but, as they got older, Johanna started showing more interest in “girly” things while Felicity’s interests never strayed. Nothing like that painful phase of adolescence where you look around and see that all your friends have changed, gotten into boys and makeup and all that shit, while all you want to do is read Tolkien and watch Sailor Moon...

Such a classic episode. 

Anyway, Felicity decides to say “fuck it,” and head off to see Johanna in Stuttgart anyway, because this is her chance and she’s not going to throw away her shot.* So Felicity teams up with Sim, a friend of the pirates from Gentleman’s Guide, ditches Monty and Percy and heads off for the continent. 

And if reuniting with an ex-best friend who you haven’t spoken to or seen in years isn’t awkward enough, meeting your hero, who is about to get married to said ex-best friend, is even worse. Like all heroes, Dr. Platt isn’t exactly everything Felicity thought he would be. And his upcoming marriage to Johanna isn’t exactly a love match on either side...

Lady’s Guide is not only a massive brain-hug, it’s existence-affirming. Felicity writes herself a message, one she returns to time and time again throughout the book, and something all women and girls  should hear: You Deserve To Be Here. Yes. Yes you fucking do. Felicity deserves to attend medical school - but men block her path. She deserves to be her own woman, an intellectual, a scientist - all of that, without being scoffed at. 

Lee also makes the point, throughout the book, that the patriarchy is not just men. Women perpetuate patriarchy as well by bullying and policing the behavior of other women. We’re kept down by our own infighting. We see this in the relationship between Felicity and Johanna, whose friendship fell apart because of their differing views on femininity. Felicity was keen to reject feminine trappings, like clothes, makeup, boys, etc., focusing instead on her books. Johanna wanted to embrace her femininity and be a scientist. Felicity looked down her nose at Johanna’s embrace of the traditionally feminine, and Johanna resented Felicity’s high-and-mighty-better-than-you attitude, and thus their childhood friendship fell apart.

The relationship between Johanna and Felicity and their views on femininity is very much like Sansa and Arya Stark. On the Sansa-Arya spectrum, Arya is all about rejecting traditional femininity - no frilly dresses or talk of marriage for Arya. No, she’s all about sword-fighting and vengeance and wearing other people’s faces as masks. Sansa, on the other end of the spectrum, embraces traditional Westerosi femininity, at first suffering it’s trappings, but then she learns to embrace it in another way. Sansa learns to wear her femininity like armor, and use it to her advantage. First, she uses it to survive in King’s Landing, where one wrong move would have gotten her killed, then she uses it to get the same thing Arya hopes to get with her assassin skills: vengeance. Independently, Sansa and Arya are both powerful women. Together? Aw, man. Shit’s going to go down.

I do have one nitpicky complaint, re: Lady’s Guide.

At one point, Johanna tells Sim: “I will drag you back to Bavaria by the ear and take you to court there if I must.”

OK, so in the novel, Johanna lives in Stuttgart. Stuttgart is in Baden-Württemberg, though so...why is Johanna threatening to drag Sim to Bavaria? In the early 1700s, Stuttgart was part of the Duchy of Württemberg which was definitely not in Bavaria. I’m not sure how the Swabians would take it if they were mistaken for Bavarians. Or vice-versa. And heaven forbid you mix up Bavaria and Franconia, even though Franconia is technically now a part of Bavaria…

Ok. Here’s the thing, though. Germany, as it is today didn’t exist until the 90s. The 1990s. Until then the 99.999999% of German history is trying to figure out the goddamned map. There was no unified “Germany” until 1871, and even then the borders didn’t mesh with what they are today. The area that we refer to as “Germany” historically was about 100,000,000 little Kingdoms/Grand Duchies/Duchies/Electorates/Principalities/city-states/what-have-yous tangled together by the Holy Roman Empire, until Napoleon kicked the Holy Roman Empire’s ass in 1805, leading to Francis II to dissolve the Empire in 1806 then it was the German Confederation with the same amount of Kingdoms/Grand Duchies/Duchies/Electorates/Principalities/city-states/what-have-yous … Jesus, just look at the maps. I mean, look at  Baden-Württemberg in the 18th century alone! 

I honestly don’t know how actual Germans sort this out. It’s easier to just be like “OK, we’re just going to start at 1871 and go forward, OK? Let’s just call everything that came before Germany and move on.”

Still, if you’re from Stuttgart and you show up in Bavaria to file a complaint, you’d probably get laughed at by a bunch of mustachioed dudes who’ve been drinking since 9 AM.  

But really, that is my only complaint. Read The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy. If you pre-order it, you can get a bonus ebook epilogue to Gentleman’s Guide!  So...go do that. 

RECOMMENDED FOR: Everyone, women especially.

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: Assholes, men’s right’s activists.

RATING: 5/5

TOTALLY UNBIASED FANGIRL RATING: 5,000,000,000,000,000/5

RELEASE DATE: October 2, 2018

ANTICIPATION LEVEL FOR SEQUEL/CONTINUATIONS: Olympus Mons

AMOUNT OF TIME IT TOOK ME TO WRITE THIS RIDICULOUS REVIEW: 21 days.  Hahaha, no it took me 48 days. Because...fuck...I don’t know.

* (curse you, Lin-Manuel Miranda!)