#I took two yesterday bc migraine | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr has been banned in Indonesia for providing people with access to pornographic content.

#I took two yesterday bc migraine

magpie-to-the-morning · 29 days

Text

Got up, made breakfast, took Eddie for a walk, took a nap.

Got up, made a sandwich, did some reading, and am now going to lie down for comfier reading which will absolutely lead to a second nap.

#I took two yesterday bc migraine #not sure what’s up today although #it is rainy #and migraine hangovers are kind of a thing #either way #my book is good #and I’m gonna go lie down about it

10 notes · View notes

gothamslostboy · 2 years

Note

Not really an ask but like, Have you ever thought of *technically* if the Boys could get some sort of version of the flu? Like a vampire flu? Or maybe they can get Bat flus or something

Strangely enough I was thinking about this yesterday!

So obviously they can’t get human sickness, and I don’t think they can get sick for zero reason, but I think under certain circumstances it’s possible.

Like if a half vamp spends to much time (10+ hours) in the sun then for the next couple nights they’d be tired w/ migraines

For full vampires it’s rarer

I think for the first 2-3 weeks after fully turning, they have something like a flu

It’s their body trying to adjust to technically being dead, but not able to decompose

Like their nose will be stuffy, human foods will make them throw up, and overall feel kinda shitty

It evens out bc the first year after those weeks is the best

Constantly feeling kind of a buzz and not having to feed as much bc it doesn’t affect them

Speaking of feeding, it’s pretty important to their health

After that year, they need to eat at least every two days (if they eat everyday they feel a lesser Version of that buzz)

When they don’t eat, it suuuucccckkkkss

Constant fever, migraines, and nausea until they eat

One time Paul got distracted and ran out of time to eat on a second night, but hey he’s Paul, he can handle it right?

Wrong

Man woke up the next night by falling to the ground and crying from the pain

David had to very quickly find a random and rush back to the cave bc Paul was so affected

When he got back w/ the victim Paul literally pounced on them and made a huge fucking mess

Even then it only made the migraines go away

It took 2 more ppl for him to feel mostly better, w/ a general ‘off’ feeling the next night

Paul never let himself forget to eat again

The last situation I can see them getting sick in is if they try to feed off dead things or bats

Like they won’t be able to keep the blood down, it taste atrocious, their body starts shaking, and they can’t transform out of vamp mode

So the boys manage to mostly be fine, the only times they’ve gotten sick was in the first 2-4 years after turning

They never make the same mistakes again

#the lost boys #tlb #tlb 1987 #the lost boys 1987 #the lost boys david #the lost boys dwayne #the lost boys paul #the lost boys marko #tlb hc #horror vampire #vampire #vampire movies #80s horror #glb tlb

74 notes · View notes

marmolita · 8 months

Text

medical stuff behind the cut (nothing particularly bad)

So I've been having annoying headaches, and I went to an ENT and he did some screening to see if it was sinuses or migraines and we decided probably sinuses. I took antibiotics to treat sinus infection and it seemed to help but not 100%, then he did a scan and was like "if it's not tolerable then the next step is sinus surgery" but I'm still not entirely sure it's sinuses and I don't want to surgery. It seems to be worse based on menstrual cycle and weather at times which seems sus for sinuses but idk.

I also had a time my endocrinologist was like "headaches? hmm cut your synthroid so that on Sundays you only take half a pill" a couple years ago and that seemed to help at the time, but then all my hypothyroid symptoms started coming back, and also at that time I weighed like 20lb less than I do now and presumably my synthroid dosage depends somewhat on my weight so idk, I'm trying it again though.

Also, maybe I have headaches bc I haven't been exercising and my veins suck ass?

But now I'm thinking about migraines and how I often have a lot of floaters in my vision that are kinda dark/shadowy colored dots, and I've had them long enough to have had two optometrist exams with retinal imaging so I know my retina isn't detaching, but it just occurred to me literally yesterday that that could perhaps be the kind of "visual disturbance" that might count as a migraine aura? It's literally just extra floaters that are dark instead of clear though so for all I know my contact lenses might be dirty, and it's only visible in bright lights, so idk????

Then meanwhile at the same time I had a blood draw for my thyroid labs where she absolutely could not get my vein, even the good vein (I have terrible veins) and also I've been more sore/achy in the mornings esp and now I'm like, what if this is all really part of whatever undiagnosable connective tissue issue I've had for forever? should I go back to the rheumatologist who ten years ago was like "look sometimes a diagnosis takes years because we have to wait and see if any new symptoms pop up, but since your chronic pain is manageable with OTC painkillers that's honestly about the best we could hope for anyway"? should I see a neurologist in case it's migraines or some other brain thing?

sure would be nice to have a primary care doctor who actually was useful but that appears to be a thing of the past, it takes three weeks to get a 5 min appointment where he tells me "try these allergy meds" that I then look at the side effects for and am like wtf no

#lita talks about herself

2 notes · View notes

c0rpseductor · 9 months

Text

got a migraine fairly recently. spent two days post-migraine stuck in bed due to exhaustion, malaise, the demons, etc. felt better yesterday! got up and hung out in the living room etc. IMMEDIATELY developed another migraine that night, relatively painless with visual aura (stupid annoying distracting ass fucking bright spot in my vision). immediately took meds and went to bed. fell asleep, overslept. fine. ok. wake up this morning. 12 hours later. STILL have same migraine and same spot. look up visual aura migraine bad fix it google etc. "just rest and wait! Migraine with ocular aura usually only lasts an hour" lies, literally fucking falsehoods, bc i never, in all my years, have had Migraine Symptoms not leak over into the next day even if the headache itself is treatable with medication. and also the fucking Plague of the Vermillion Duke's Beast-mark Spotlight or whatever is now still and for perhaps maybe even the rest of my life. And you must understand, i am so angry, i JUST got over the last one, and my entire body is SCREAMING for me to just go back to bed. but i JUST got finished being bedridden. so instead i am considering playing video games and making it worse

2 notes · View notes

wheretheivystillgrows · 11 months

Text

I’m in Europe right now!

I’m here with my family, traveling to different cities. I’m enjoying it so much. I recently started a new medication and stopped two of my older ones that were hurting me. This new one along with medications for my stomach have done incredible things for me. I’ve been able to have pizza without being sick for 4 days afterwards, I’ve had gelato and chocolate and cheese and my body is somehow able to handle it now. It’s crazy! It makes me want to cry. It’s been 7 years of this. 7 years of missing out on family experiences, family dinner, family trips, and just happiness in general. I should be crazy, crazy sick right now even just from the food I’ve had. Usually I would be incapacitated from eating even one of those things. Today I have a migraine, but it’s the first intense one since this trip started, which was about two weeks ago. I’m sore throughout my body, but not as sore as usual. My stomach pain and nausea have been worse today, but still mild compared to my usual pain I had before these medications. I went on a tour through Zürich, Switzerland and it was so beautiful. The sights were beautiful, but it was also very beautiful and healing for me to be able to do something like that without crashing 30 minutes into it. By the end of the tour (it was like 4 hours-ish, I think), everyone was exhausted but I wasn’t as tired and painfully sore as I usually am after going somewhere like the mall. My doctors haven’t diagnosed me but are basically treating me for fibromyalgia, migraines, weird mysterious stomach issues, and depression. All of those thing seem to have gotten significantly better since I started the newest medication like 3 weeks ago. My family is so happy for me, but if we’re being honest, no one can truly understand what this means to me unless they’ve been through it themselves. I’ve been isolated and robbed of soooo much, and I’m finally getting to live again, finally getting to genuinely smile and laugh again. It’s always scary for me to have hope bc for some reason, in the past I always seemed to be punished for thinking that maybe I could be whole someday and my body would just torture me even more. But, I can’t but feel hopeful this time. Tentative hope, but it’s still there. There’s still so much fear that I’m carrying that probably most people with chronic illnesses carry. A lot of fear, anger, hopelessness, sadness, trauma, anxiety, should I go on? Lol. But I’m gonna work on it, I promise. At least I have medical support now for depression so that should help me as well.

Anyway, here are some pictures I took in Switzerland:

Switzerland is the most beautiful place I have ever seen in my life. I am so lucky to be here and to be able to enjoy it with my family.

Yesterday, it rained all day long and we were all so tired. So we just slept in and chilled all day. I sat on the hotel patio, listened to music and read. The light rain was so calming and it was cooler than the past few days had been and it smelled so good and fresh. That was exactly what I needed to rest and recuperate a little bit of my strength (and sanity).

I think I want to do like a post about my interests and about who I am outside of my illness. Of course, I’m the only one reading this right now, but i think would be fun for me and also I want to remind myself that there is more to me than being sick and depressed. I’m not like this super cool person that everyone wants to be around at all times lol, but maybe I’ll find some people here that enjoy similar things and we can be friends.

Okay, well, that’s all for today folks. Tune in next time ;)

— Love, Ivy 🌱

#chronic illness #migraines #ibs #depression

2 notes · View notes

septembersghost · 2 years

Note

i haven't been on a lot lately, so this is me saying hi! i hope the covid vaccine isn't treating you too badly!

hi my darling!!! it's okay, i've barely been on for the past couple of weeks myself, except when i pop in to answer a few things or set up my queue - which last night i was too exhausted to even do?! i'm still saving your last bcs message from almost two weeks ago! 😳💞

the first dose of the vaccine went okay! the places of concern, that i couldn't get any real tangible advice about, were regarding a possible reaction to a specific ingredient and the impact my POTS might have, because dysautonomia can cause such weird things (i have fainted twice from injections, though neither were vaccines - once with an anti-inflammatory injection in the soft tissue of my neck at an orthopedist, the other with a local anesthetic at the ER, and the poor doctor on call literally caught me from falling off the edge of the bed. both times they were like, "i've never had a patient faint from this treatment before!" lmao. i also once terrified a nurse when he did a blood draw that gushed all over the floor from my arm like a scene from a horror movie...) fortunately, the pharmacist who administered my vaccine was amazing, and i seem to barely have had a reaction at all? i came home and immediately put a lidocaine patch (which i usually use for my spine) on my arm and that diminished the residual pain, and somehow i, the queen of fevers, who runs fevers at random on any given day of the week, didn't even run one after the shot? it was worrying because my mom had terrible reactions to all three - she, unlike me, hardly ever runs fevers, and she has a high pain threshold, but she ran fevers, her arm was excruciating (she said it was like burning with pain), and each dose flared her vasculitis, especially the second one. she got an awful rash and both of her legs swelled for about 24 hours. so i'm not sure how i was fortunate enough with my ridiculously broken immune system to barely have a response, but i'm going to hope against hope that the next dose goes the same way for me, and all the concern we and medical professionals had about it will end up being an overabundance of caution.

the biggest thing that hit me was fatigue, but achiness and fatigue are my baseline and are exacerbated when i go out or do anything for any reason, so i can't blame that on the shot! i had a migraine and a sore throat yesterday, but that's also totally normal (in its abnormality) for me on any day symptoms-wise. i took a gabapentin wednesday night, but my insomnia's been severe for a while, so it didn't feel like it helped much...and then last night i collapsed and slept for 13 hours. 😭😂

thank you for asking and thinking of me, i am always sending good wishes and hugs to you!!! 💜💜💜

#nerdfaerie #polina #iluuuuuu #letterbox #chronic illness #jess.mess #just sticking this in those since this became like a general update lol

10 notes · View notes

heartfucksmouth · 2 years

Text

I've barely been in my body today bc of the amount of pain I'm in. I said to myles "it's crazy how last week I was happy and motivated and active and productive and now that's all gone and I'm a miserable groaning zombie"

had an eye appointment, got my eyes numbed and dilated and measured and "photographed" (idk what the imaging is called but it's a fancy machine and I like it) and the doctor who lasered my retinal tear 3 years ago examined my eyeballs a bunch and firmly ruled out that any flashes of light I'm seeing are from my eyes themselves.

I got a clean bill of eyeball health, they look great and my surgical area still looks awesome, which I was all very happy to hear! that rules some stuff out and I can focus on my symptoms being neurological in nature. my migraines/auras/symptoms have been getting more difficult to stay classified in neat little boxes and I'd rather rule out everything I can, when I can.

my right ovary is currently trying to explode out of my body again and my whole right hip wants to tear out of the socket, so I'm having a lovely time. I already took a 2 hour nap in between watching poor Eloise - who has kennel cough and is on meds including prednisone which is making her even more of a reactive freak.

yesterday she took over resource guarding my shoes and I had to walk back home barefoot and return with sneakers lol. the poor thing is so disoriented and looks at me like she doesn't even know me, I'm so sad bc I raised her from a tiny baby and I used to get cuddles all the time! now I have to ask her if I can have "touchies" before I pet her waaahhhh. but - I understand - being constantly sick for 9 months of your life, always at the vet being poked at and things getting taken away and medicine making you feel yuckier than you already do etc etc etc,

Good God, Eloise (said in a wee old Irish person accent), I understand your plight. Poor girl is gonna be a year old next month and she hasn't even gone two full weeks without being sick between food allergies, bouts of giardia, eating things she shouldn't off the ground including a plastic bag basically the size of her, and now two servings of kennel cough. unbelievable. I'd be conflict-aggressive too.

oh and I flipped out on a nurse at my doctors office over the phone because they're fucking clueless, they've been fucking with my health for long enough and it's too complicated to even get into. Myles said he never wants to make me angry.

#personal

3 notes · View notes

carnival-core · 26 days

Text

If I can complain abt smth unrelated to my other posts , I am so fucking confused as to whats been wrong w me physically lately , I had a migraine (without pain but with a whole lot of dizziness/lightheadedness) for like two days until yesterday when I finally took smth bc it took that long for me to realize it was a migraine And then I had to take migraine meds Again tonight bc it was starting again

What is the point !!! Just tell me whats wrong with my body like a normal person , brain !! Communicate like an adult !!! Is it the weather ? am I sleep deprived ? Am I getting too much sleep ? Am I stressed ? Am I dying ? What is it boy ???

#behind the tent #its made walking a slight pain and during the two-day migraine every time I stretched out my limbs when laying down-#-I got 30 second vertigo afterward #what the hell is that abt #can I blame fibro againm

1 note · View note

killbaned · 2 months

Text

well! we may not want to hear this besties but sometimes. when the thought of doing tasks is making you horrifically anxious to the point of shutting down, the only thing to do...are the fucking tasks!

i slept badly. fell asleep about two am woke up a bit before six bc of The Horrors. couldn't get back to sleep bc of my guts keeping me awake. finally won a battle with the demons. realized i'd still likely be awake for another hour or two anyway before being able to settle back to sleep and the whole time i was just. getting upset because i'm tired i feel awful i have all these things to do because i made a specific set of plans for how to maximize tasks vs rest while i'm off these days.

so i figured. well. i managed a nine hour shift saturday feeling bad like this and a seven hour shift sunday feeling worse. i can manage a few hours of less intensive tasks.

i did laundry, i cleaned out the fridge, collected the trash and took it to the dumpster. put the dirty dishes from my pasta yesterday in the dishwasher along w the dirty stuff from the fridge. ran the dishwasher. wiped down the sinks and counters. i took the dogs in to get their nails done which was the big thing i was worried about bc their yearly shots expire tomorrow. i had the adhd time sink of "i have like two months to take a day off for their shots" and that was. two months ago. oops. i found out i DON'T need a bordatella shot to get them bathed so i am treating myself and paying someone else to wash the dogs! now i don't have to do that task tomorrow!! this is huge bc the chihuahua is fine i can do him in the sink no problem but rufus is too big and has to be done in the tub and it's suffering badly. it's a lot of work and strain and it means if i'm bathing him that is the ONLY task i'm doing that day.

i also stopped at the store, got a few things i needed. i checked mom's email to make sure i haven't missed anything from dcf (i have not which. L. can i get the food money back please-). i checked MY email and remembered to contact my dental ins company about the oopsie daisy with that.

literally i have done what i thought was going to be two days worth of tasks in the span of about four hours. do i feel better physically? no! i'm still tired, my guts are still bad, i'm getting a migraine i'm gonna have to cave and take meds for.

do i feel better mentally, like perhaps when i bring the dogs back i'll be able to settle in and settle down and actually relax without being plagued by the thoughts of All The Things Needing Done?

absolutely.

#goblin shenanigans.txt #which! on that note! groomer called! ding dogs are clean!

1 note · View note

thepoeticfox · 6 months

Text

Yesterday was kinda awful.

I drove an hour and a half one way to visit my mother, whom I deeply dislike, and Maps took me through a city I hate driving in bc the interstate through the middle is always really fucked up. And it's not just the lane closures and detours, it's also the fact that people are driving bumper to bumper at high speeds on very bumpy (but newish) pavement in narrow lanes. For real, if you give a safe follow distance to the car in front of you, people will fill that gap. It's amazing there isn't a pileup every day.

I also ended up a ways behind a semi that kept losing those great big wipe plastic sheets that flutter and float like tarp. The game of "oh shit why is everyone slowing down, I don't see lights?" and then seeing some poor guy in a (normal size) truck try not to get it wrapped around his axles.... was weird once but then it happened again.

In my mother's city, someone tried to cross the road to merge their truck with my car, and I am grateful to have decent reflexes. If he hadn't stopped bc of my horn, if he had kept going, all that he would've done was maybe take out my driver's side headlight and seriously piss me off, cause I had basically stopped. He heard my horn and corrected himself into the turning lane (which he had to cross anyway) and I zoomed off.

On the way back, I was taken back through Bad Interstate City where I had no idea what lane to be in and performed two of those god awful "please don't brake" merges where I'm also kissing the ass of the vehicle in front of me. Blinkers! Blinkers helped! They warned people "I desperately need in that lane now!" I never ever ever intend to do that again. I will just be lost by taking the wrong exit ramp, fuckit.

All of this combined with the weather, of fucking course, gave me a migraine. Might also be the laundry stripper stuff I started using bc my clothes were smelling musty no matter what I did. Adhd makes it hard to do laundry in a timely way, alright? Well this stuff has a scent. "Original" I was hoping, praying, meant "very little fragrance" but noooo. "But Fae, why not just get unscented?" Because they didn't have it at my store.

Fucking awful traffic, my mother, more awful traffic, perfume in my face for hours, and shifty weather. Migraine cocktail.

Did have a pretty interesting time playing Call of Cthulu, even with the migraine, though. our GM is sensitive to the migraine issues, we are chronic health buddies, so he understands the desire to push a little and have some fun. He knows I'll excuse myself if I'm too poorly.

I did get some food, hydration, salt, and caffeine in me before taking a nap when game was called early bc of family stuff on his side, so I am feeling a bit better. I think showering and changing out of the perfumed clothes also helped.

I've had a fucking day, and now I am going to relax in my nice pretty office space and figure out how to store/display all these paints in a way that matches my aesthetic <3

#long post #rambles

1 note · View note

beaversatemygrandma · 3 years

Text

Ya know. I finally got insurance set up for the first time in a good few years and it’s not costing a whole arm. (less than $10, i shit you not) So I guess something went well politically for healthcare. Nothing. Covers. Dental. That’s still an issue. Teeth are Luxury Bones and I need mine fixed but ig I’m still going to have to pay thousands to get those fixed. Thankfully i’ve got enough savings, i Hope, but I’m still pissed about that bc that should be counted for health bc it can and will cause health issues if i leave this alone even longer And This Should be Savings for Emergencies and I’ll be left with jackshit afterwards.

BUT I am sated. I can get my mental health and migraines treated for the first time ever bc it’ll be affordable now, if not free, starting at the beginning of the year. But my god, i need my wisdom teeth out and teeth fixed period. I’m pretty sure it’s what’s making my migraines worse.

ANYWAYS. For any american followers, this is your reminder to get yourself healthcare before the end of December. Do It. Do It Now.

#I really do hope i can get migraine treatment #i had one yesterday that left me dizzy nauseous and incapable of even making a pb&j bc of the sheer amount of pain #and it lasted all day and i only had like two small meals bc i couldnt make anything nor did i have an appetite #the thing that saved me there was the newly legalized shit thank god but still #i need meds to prevent that #what if i was actually working? that would be a twice a month call out #*sighs* i need this stuff taken care of #and maybe i can finally get a damn therapist to diagnose my adhd for the first time since i was 8 #and whatever else i've got going on bc my mom mentioned that she took me to like four when i was a kid #and all of them said different things and she just went 'yup adhd sounds right' and went with that #which worries me bc one diagnosis was aspergers and another was both and adhd was just the most prevalent one #i just want to know why i can't function correctly and not have it make me go broke so this is a step in the right direction #beavers speaks #i just needed to get that out bc that hour i spent there was annoying #at least previous info was saved so i didn't have to enter literally everything

1 note · View note

magicflowershop · 4 years

Text

one day kitty; Tsukishima version

《inspired by movie A Whisker Away》

✿✿ you wished to be with the person you like and wish granted. whiskers, button nose, tail, four legs and ears on top of the head; you turned into a cat. with this, you are given the opportunity to be with the person you want to express your affections to. but as a cat. and only in one day.

― haikyuu characters x cat!reader imagines!

❀ masterlist ❀

the wheel of names have spoken.

Tsukishima found a cat sleeping on his window sill that morning

he doesnt know why but the sight of that cat annoyed him that he went to school with a frown on his face

Yamaguchi thought he did something wrong but he knew that if he spoke up he’d be told to shut up again,,,,

Yams still asked

now Tsukki didn’t know what to tell him bc he wants to give no attention to a certain cat that’s been following him on their way to school,,, yk for some odd reason he can’t give a name to

even so, Yams being the precious lad he is, saw the little cat and entertained him while Tsukki took the run for it,,, again for some reason

its been a few hours and even during classes, Tsukki sees the cat once again through the window, chilling on a tree branch

it was no ordinary cat

or maybe Tsukki has lost his mind

but he was sure of it tho

quite

Tsukki looked out and saw that cat,, then the cat found his eyes and locked their gazes together,,, Tsukki has no idea how that staring contest ended up lasting for almost thirty minutes

Tsukki was very sure this cat was an alpha lmAOOO

disregarding that, Tsukishima sensed something familiar from this little cat thats been noticeably following him everywhere even as to spying on him in his room while he was getting ready

the cat was so strange that it reminded him of someone he knew

which he seems to find himself looking for during lunch break

and now he found it even stranger when said person had the audacity of ignoring him, as they passed by each other

that was prolly for the best

so Tsukki wouldn’t get migraine for the day ykyk

nyways the cat

the cat was also confused, staring at the same person this whole time,,, right beside him

“Tsukki, that was weird,,, y/n never batted an eye on you today. she’d usually bark at you but ig she’s tired today,,, she wasn’t being herself”

“shut up, Yamaguchi”

“sorry Tsukki”

i love that nyWAY

now you and Tsukki are e m e n i e s

how so?

Tsukki has been fed up with this random kid from a different class who always goes and picks up fights with him no matter what,, and so it concluded to him disliking said kid with every fiber of his being, which also happened to be you

contrary to his belief however, you two were simply opposites of each other and seemed to be clashing ideas no matter what the topic given is,,, which soon translates to arguments

little did he know tho you clash with him on purpose to get his attention because you are a lost cause and very head-over-heels for his lame-ass

so much so that you wished to become a cat in order to stalk in sum more

and as emenies,, its natural Tsukki will find it weird you ignored him in the hallway when you’re normally up his nose whenever you see him

bc you’re crazy like that

but thank god you were calm today

he thought

so this went on for the rest of the day

you guys passed by each other a bunch more and he kept getting a cold shoulder,,,,,,

YOU GUYS PASSED BY EACH OTHER A BUNCH MORE AND HE KEPT GETTING A COLD SHOULDER HOW DARE YOU?????

it didn’t take Yams half a braincell to notice Tsukki getting lowkey dejected from the said cold shoulder,,,, but Tsukki being Tsukki

sigh

plus, there’s this cat that’s been followin him around the entire time

“you’re not allowed to be here”

ah yes a

✨ smartass ✨

he see the cat slowly sneaking its way inside the gym while they were off to practice after classes

the cat looked up at him with its big, shiny eyes as if it was pleading for Tsukki to let it in and watch them prolly,,, but Tsukki knew havin a cat in there would be a drag,,, and he might get yelled at by Daichi as well

even if this was an alpha cat we mentioned earlier

Tsukki shut the door

but soon after practice, nobody noticed when Tsukishima casually left the gym to look for the cat

a clown ✨

you were just chillin over a tree branch when you saw Tsukki wandering around the place looking for something,, and then he saw you

you see him sigh of relief and walk towards the tree

“do you not have a home you belong in?”

lmao someone’s not very good at handling animals, you thought to yourself,,, that you wanted to clown him sum more

you walked towards the end of the branch as carefully as you can, while Kei watched you with terror in his eyes

“what are you doing? you’re gonna fall off”

definitely not used to handling cats specifically!

while knowing full well this boy is a n00b, you stared at him mockingly, swinging your tail back and forth at his face next, resting your entire feline body at the tip of the branch that is in the verge of snapping

the terror in his eyes translated into worry in a split second when the branch did snap and the cat fell

Tsukki wasn’t fast enough to both catch the cat and to realize that cats are created ✨ agile ✨

he, once again, felt like a 🤡

you gave him a smug look when you landed perfectly on your feet and saw the dumbfounded look on his face lmfao what is going on

and that hit Tsukki once again,,, the cat reminded him so much of you that it pained him so much both mentally and physically also psychologically but yk

Tsukki sat down on the grass, reluctantly reaches out a hand towards the cat,,, and takes it back, like what was he doing lol

but you looked straight into his eyes, which made him subconsciously reach out to you once more and this time you gave him no time to pull it back because you nuzzled you whole head under his palm

Tsukki then gave in, caressing the cat’s fur as gently as he could

“oi TsukISHIMA!!”

Hinata called for Tsukki and the rest of the practice went by like normal disregarding how Hinata kept teasin him how he was bein soft around a little mammal for a split second swswsws

so practice ended just like that, you were wandering around gym waiting for Tsukki to appear bc you didn’t want so many opporunities to slip by when you already have him around your wittle paws yk? and you concluded Tsukki’s a whole tsundere

as a matter of fact, Tsukki’s pissed off bc he knows he’s become fond of the stray cat

ok so, phat news

Yams goes and tells Tsukki he had somewhere to go before going straight home so it’ll be Tsukki goin home alone tonite

you overheard this conversation and you’re engines roared honey

you shall monopolize this stringbean

Tsukki wasn’t stupid to not notice the cat tailing him all the way home so Tsukki makes a detour bc he isn’t sure if this was a real cat or srsly an alpha cat like he said earlier lmfao wasn’t stupid my ass

his feet took him to his cram school without realizing even though he had no classes that day

but it was enough to not make the cat follow him anymore

he looked back at the cat and saw it, looking inside, backing away at each step as if it was afraid to get in ;c

obv you were afraid of being shooed away like some kinda parasite so its natural u pussy out heh and sudDENLY tSUKKI PICKED YOU UP AND LEFT WIF YOU HUUHHH????

“you’re probably hungry, i haven’t seen you eat the entire day”

heh

so you went on a date big deal

and you were a cat big deal

except that Tsukki didn’t know what in the world to do wif a stray cat after this little dinner time at the edge of a park in the evening, not the kind of first date you wanted but this should be enough for this situation no?

ok so date right?

Tsukki was wondering why you were acting so strange earlier, like you kept treating him just like sum other student from the same school, passin by without any care at all lol

needless to say, it bugged him

and it was also needless to say that it bugged him a lot

that you weren’t there

like ew

no sht did that thought disgust him bc it was true lmfao

then there’s this random cat thats beside him the whole day instead and annoying the hell outta him,, kinda,,,, the same way,,,, you do,,,,,

lol how are those things similar tho

“you remind me of y/n”

and so u choke

mhmm

it’s b̵̹̠͎͑̀̈̈́i̶̢̧̖̙͎͖̰̱̾̾̏̀͋̌̕g̶̩̦̉ ̶̙̌̂b̵̻̿r̵̠̦̯̠̦̮͇̫̾͋̐̇͛̈́̓̉̚͝ă̶̛̫͎̹̈́̃͛͝i̴̼̦̮̮̍̈́̋̈́n̶͓̟̮͋̅͂͑̃͆̍̕͝͝ ̸̔̂͑̄̈́ti̴͗̈́̋̄̔̃m̸̛̳̔̀̆̈́e i guess

then as if you were snapped back to reality you remembered you had a time limit for this stupid, stalkerish thing you’ve been doing,,, you instinctively grabbed Kei’s hand to check his wristwatch

it was 10.30

holy sht it was 10.30

you scurried off from your spot and ran all the way to your house, ignoring the kind-of yells Tsukki let out when he saw you running away

you were running at speed of light jumping from one roof to another to get back home and smack that house cat of yours that pretended to be you the whole time

and you did,,,

the next morning, you woke up you were back to normal

everything was back to normal

you’re parents never questioned you of anything

so did your siblings if you had any

then comes school

you were hella nervous aight

but you tried to stay calm, stay poised, stay annoying like normal yk

“hey”

god

Tsukki found you taking off your shoes, and decided it was a great idea to initiate a conversation with you

“oh good morni-”

“what’s going on with you yesterday?”

“did i do something?”

“uh no,,,”

“then why did you ignore me?”

did that have an effect on him????

you wanted to ask that to push his buttons ‘cause that’s what ur good at anyway might as well go all the way but yk you didn’t have the courage to be that cheeky esp since you liked him as well ahaha

YOU DID IT ANYWAY BAP BAP BA--

“it did”

mission failed but success????

stay tuned for more!

#walk in my garden #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu!! headcanons #haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu!! smau #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu x reader #tsukishima #tsukishima kei #kei tsukishima #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima x y/n #karasuno #one day kitty

120 notes · View notes

moskaisley · 4 years

Text

migraine pt. 5 | relief

gif cred: @coredrive

rating: mature

word count: 4k platinum hi def TV

warnings: angst but also some comfort bc everyone is in their feelings, violence, descriptions of fighting and blood, mentions of death

a/n:

me: yea i’ll post by 8pm!!! also me @ midnight:

i got slammed with some work from my job last minute so thats why she’s a couple hours late!! such is the life of a freelancer but thank u all for being patient anyway hehe. anyways!! i’ve had a LOT of ideas for side stories lately and i’m thinking of posting them in between the main parts of migraine so maybe look out for that???

and thank u all for your kind words on part 4!!! ily all and i hope u enjoy this one. alexa play in my feelings by drake 🥺🥺🥺

summary:

“Did you love him?”

You freeze, heart pounding loudly in your chest at the thought. You know the answer, but you’re terrified to speak it aloud, as if Mando could hear you utter it into the universe.

Where you find the strength to feel it all at once.

parts 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

ao3 link / masterlist

“I’m going on ahead.”

“Well, I’m not coming with you.”

He scrunches his nose, nostrils flaring. You refuse to look him in the eye.

“Seriously?”

You pick at the threads in the thin blanket on your legs with your nails. He’s fully dressed, standing in the doorway of your tiny dwelling. You’re still in your cot, your last chance to flee with him slipping away with every string you pull. But fear claws at your insides, paralyzing you in your spot. You hear him shuffle, kneeling beside the bed and forcing you to meet his gaze.

“Please, help me stop them,” he pleads.

Your lip quivers, tears threatening to spill over. He’s such a beautiful boy. You loved and loathed his courage; Luca was always braver than you were, fighting off bullies in the schoolyard and sneaking out after dark. He was the first one to defy the Moff when he showed up at your doorstep, and he was the quickest to arm when they came blasters ablazing. But while Luca had moved forward ready to enact his revenge, you were still stuck in front of your burning home, heat blistering against your skin and pathetic tears streaming down your face. You’re still frozen at the other end of a blaster, cowering on your knees before a man clad in black. You’re still being ushered away down the country road with your brother, two very distinct shots ringing through your ears.

But Luca doesn’t understand.

“We’ll die, just like them.”

“Don’t you want to die fighting?”

You tear a hole in your blanket.

“I don’t want to die at all, Luca.”

You haven’t spoken to him in days.

It was quite impressive, really.

Ever since your breakdown, you denied yourself any sort of contact with the Mandalorian, bitterness and hurt still raw every time you looked at him. At first, he tried to get you to respond to him, prodding with simple questions and painfully awkward small talk. But when his one-sided conversations were only met with more eerie silence, Mando took the hint and stopped trying altogether. You didn’t spend too long in the same space with him either; you made sure to work on opposite sides of the ship. Shifts were still maintained at night to watch over your camp while the other slept; but when it was his turn to take over, you only woke him with a wordless shove and quickly slipped into your bunk to get your share of rest.

Sleep never came.

Instead, you aimlessly tossed on the mattress for hours and hours on end, mind torn over the man standing outside your door. You loathed him, you were sure of it. He hurt you, more than anyone ever had. Took everything and crushed it beneath his boots. Then had the audacity to come back and ask for a favor. It was time to just let it all go; to push it far behind you and go on forward with your heart guarded and barred from the rest of the universe. To live and die alone.

So why was the thought of never seeing him again making your chest tighten with agony?

You dug your face into your pillow a few times, letting out guttural, violent screams of frustration until your voice nearly gave out.

You should be angry with him. He left, he left, he left.

Just like Luca.

In those solitary hours, you thought a lot about your brother, and how painfully similar this all felt: The resentment that festered in your bones clashing with the deep love and care that resided in your heart. You didn’t want to forgive, but living with these thorns in your side was so fucking exhausting. You wondered if the universe doomed you from birth, never destined for a moment of peace. The warring feelings within you made it impossible to sleep easy, and soon enough, the sun would come up. Mando would be outside rapping on your door and you’d start the day over again. Rinse and repeat.

By the fourth day, the lack of sleep had caught up to you.

Precariously perched on top of a ladder, you took the day to work on the repulsor grilles. Your mind was in a daze. You struggled to figure out which parts go where, and your hands were so clumsy you kept losing your tools to the small slot you’d been tinkering with. After dropping your screwdriver for what seemed to be the seventh time today, you were so fed up that any caution was thrown into the wind. Hot metal and active wires were the least of your worries as you carelessly shoved your hand down the slot for your lost tool. Your fingers grazed the handle, but as you shifted to get a better angle, you felt a burning shock shoot through your arm. You all but ripped your hand from the slot, wincing as you feel something tear at your palm. Your sudden movement was enough to drive the ladder toppling over. Squeezing your eyes shut, you braced for impact. You hear a low grunt as your body collides into Mando’s, strong arms quickly wrapping around your waist to steady you. Your cheeks grow hot at the feeling of him, and for a moment, your body pleads to stay in his arms just a little longer.

“Are you okay?” the low timbre of his voice brings you back from your panic.

You quickly push off of him but hiss at the searing pain radiating from your hand. Turning over your palm, you grimace at the big nasty gash that gushes down your forearm with blood. Mando grips your shoulder and spins you around, trying to take your injured hand.

“Let me see.”

“I’m fine.”

You recoil, holding your palm close to your chest and bleeding all over your shirt. Impatient, he goes in to grasp your wrist and wrestles with you again.

“Will you quit being difficult and hold still?” he growls, voice devoid of any softness. The edge in his voice makes you freeze. It’s the first time on this journey that he spoke so firmly with you. Too tired to fight, you let him take your hand into his and study your injury.

“Sit,” He lets go of your hand and gestures to the ground. “You’re going to need stitches. And then you’re going to rest. I know you haven’t been sleeping.”

“I’m fine,” you grit.

“It wasn’t a suggestion,” he chided harshly, as if lecturing a child, “I don’t need someone wrecking my ship more than it already has. You can work when you’re capable.”

He briskly storms back into the ship to grab the medpack, effectively ending your spat. Collapsing to the ground, you curse under your breath in irritation as you stare at your stinging cut. A piercing ache begins to radiate in your temples and weariness starts to settle into your bones. You’re so tired. The emotional turmoil of the past week had sucked every drop of energy you had left, and you were left feeling like you’d been hit with a landspeeder.

A worried coo draws you from your thoughts, and the child looks up at you expectantly.

“Hey, little guy,” you said, patting his head lightly with your free hand. He gingerly toddles to your thigh and tilts his head at your bloody palm. The kid begins to fuss, gurgling as he claws at the side of your leg. You scoop him up into your lap, and he settles down, satisfied.

“What’s going on, kiddo?”

Then, he closes his eyes and holds his hand out, hovering over yours. You feel the flesh on your wound begin to move. Your gash is closing before your eyes and the skin is completely healed, as if it was never there at all. You pressed your fingers into your palm; the burning pain had subsided and the skin beneath it was completely smooth. Brows furrowed, your eyes dart from your hand to the child, his eyes slowly drooping closed. Your mind is racing. You hear Mando shuffle back out from the Crest, quickly dropping beside you and checking your hand.

You’re both stunned to silence as the child in your lap falls fast asleep.

Early mornings in the forest were cold.

You’d been shivering in front of the fire for a few hours now, wrapped in a threadbare blanket you’d taken from your bed. You stared pensively at your palm, gently tracing your fingers over where a cut should’ve been. With a sigh, you hug your legs to your chest, and rest your forehead on your knees. After the child healed your injury, you thought your shock would’ve kept you from getting rest, but you slipped into sleep the second your head hit your pillow. You woke up later in the middle of the night, insisting to trade shifts with Mando.

“I doubt you want a repeat of yesterday,” you told him, “Go to bed.”

In all honesty, you needed the early hours of dawn to collect yourself as your mind was all over the place. Between the mysterious child, your clashing feelings for your partner and your impulsive career change, your life had seemed to unravel in the span of a week. You thought of the way he spoke to you the day before; he was quick to care for you, but his voice was emotionless and cold. It sounded very similar when he left all those years ago. You know he only means to keep distance between you and respect your wishes. After all, you were the one who wanted to separate for good after this mission, but the ache in your heart told you otherwise.

Pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes, you could only come to a single conclusion: the Mandalorian had successfully derailed your life yet again.

The cry of an animal pulls you from your brooding and you’re swift on your feet with a vibroblade in hand. Stalking around the trees, you keep low in the foliage and slowly move towards the source of the noise. You see a fathier standing on the main trail hooked to a lopsided wooden wagon. Fruit and vegetables were spread all around the road along with a broken wheel. An old man rounded the corner, looking tiredly around him and began picking up the mess. The grip on your blade relaxes. Standing to your full height, you walk forward to meet him on the main path.

“Excuse me, sir,” you call to him, “Do you need help?”

He gawks at you, obviously not expecting anyone to be in the forest. He gives you a smile.

“That is very kind of you. Thank you, child.”

You learn that his name is Amir. He’s a farmer with fields down the road, and for the past 50 years, he’d make the trip every weekend into town to sell his harvest on the same wagon. He tells you how the fathier lost control, pulling the old carriage and damaging the wheel.

“I suppose I must invest in those blasted speeder-whatevers,” he sighs.

You chuckle lightly. He sounds like your father.

“Please, let me fix it for you.”

Amir sits on a rock to the side of the trail, and you try your best to repair the wagon. Making light conversation with him as you work, you spoke of your own family’s orchard and recounted the times you spent on the farm. His company relaxes you and for a moment, you’re able to forget the chaos that consumed your thoughts earlier.

“It’s hard work, this life,” he says, “but it is fruitful all the same.”

You laugh earnestly at his joke. He smiles at you warmly, patting his hands on his knees.

“Where is your family now?”

“They were lost to the Empire. Our farm was burned down.”

He sighs sadly, “War seems to take from us both. I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Please, don’t be. It happened a long time ago,” you say quickly.

A beat of awkward silence passes. Amir changes the subject.

“So what are you doing here? In these woods. You look less like a farm girl and more like a mercenary.”

“Close. I’m a bounty hunter. Our ship crashed just past those trees.”

“You’re with someone else?”

“Yes. A Mandalorian. He’s–” you pause, thinking carefully over your words, “He’s just an old colleague of mine.”

But Amir is a very observant man, and he notices your hesitation.

“Tell me more about this Mandalorian of yours. I’ve never met one before.”

“It’s kind of a long story,” you say sheepishly, “I wouldn’t want to keep you.”

“A long story?” He questions, mischief flashing in his eyes, “I thought he was just a colleague.”

Warmth travels to your cheeks as he looks at you expectantly.

Cheeky old bastard.

But you indulge him, giving him a watered-down version of your history with Mando; how you met, how you worked together for many years before you parted ways, and how he came back asking you to help with his weird magical son. Amir listened intently, and when you finished, his face was pulled in thought.

“It’s a bit odd for a bounty hunter to have a child, isn’t it?” He wonders aloud, “I take it isn’t the safest profession in the world. I could see how he could need the help.”

You chew on your bottom lip, attention focused on twisting a screw.

“We... didn’t split on the best terms. It wouldn’t be good for the baby.”

“I see.”

Amir notes your sudden change in demeanour, observing the way you tensed at the subject.

“Did you love him?”

You freeze, heart pounding loudly in your chest at the thought. You know the answer, but you’re terrified to speak it aloud, as if Mando could hear you utter it into the universe.

So you answered him honestly.

“I’m angry with him.”

He lets out a hearty laugh.

“My dear, you can be angry with someone and still love them.”

What a nosy man.

You shrug laughing lightly with him as you go back to work. As you mull over his words, you find them resonating deep within you. Had it been anyone else, you probably would’ve ignored or straight-up denied the question, but connecting with Amir had made you feel comfortable to speak freely. It felt cathartic to put your feelings into words.

“You know, Imperial soldiers occupied the town for many, many years. My daughter decided to join the rebellion after she joined the local militia. We got into a terrible argument, begged her not to fight, to stay home but–” Amir struggles to finish. You’d stopped your tinkering with the wheel, instead listening carefully to his story. Your heart twisted, as the grief he felt was very familiar. You reached out to hold his wrinkled hand, giving him a sad smile.

Amir takes a breath, looking wistfully towards the treetops as he continues,

“Sometimes, when people hurt us, we think we want nothing more to do with them. But when they’re gone, we only regret the love we never spoke out loud.”

Din thought he was dreaming when he woke up to the smell of cooking food.

When he left the Razor Crest, you were feeding the child a small bowl of sautéed vegetables and rice. To the side of the camp, he spotted bags of fresh produce and grain. You greet him with a relaxed grin.

“You know, some of the things you’ve kept in there haven’t been touched since we split. It was kind of disgusting.”

He’s so confused.

“Where did you get all of this?” He asks.

“There was a man who broke down on the side of the road. I helped fix his wagon and he gave us food in return.”

You pat the child’s head as he finishes up his meal and take him into one arm. Din only stares, bewildered, as you pick up a dish that was sitting by the fire pit and hold it out to him.

“Eat. And when you’re done, come find me,” you say, “We need to talk.”

“We need to talk.”

Words stronger than any weapon.

Anxiety churned in his stomach, nearly rendering him incapable of keeping any food down. But your cooking was leagues better than any ration pack that he’d had in weeks; Din wasn’t about to (literally) throw the opportunity away, especially if this was some of the last moments he’d ever have with you. He ate slowly, savoring every bite, heart warming at the way you made it especially spicy for him. From the window of the cockpit, Din watched you leisurely skip rocks across the water while the child excitedly wandered along the shore. It was almost unsettling how quickly your energy had changed within a day; it reminded him of the days before he left. The days where there wasn’t a giant rift between you.

When he finished his meal, Din rounded the corner of the ship expecting to see you at the shore, but you were nowhere to be found. He approached the edge of the water and stared at the abandoned pile of smooth stones. The next thing he knew, he was being roughly tugged by his arm and thrown flat on his back, knocking the wind out of him. He gasped, chest heaving for air and adrenaline coursing through his veins. As he struggled to prop himself up on his elbows, you meandered into his view. He expected to see your face contorted with rage once again, but to his surprise, your expression was cool and collected as you pulled at the wraps around your hands.

“We’re gonna spar,” you say, tone suspiciously even, “And you’re gonna tell me everything about the kid.”

Din stares, bewildered as you tower over him.

“Why?”

You still don’t look at him directly, instead tugging tightly at the cloth against your wrist and checking if you’re satisfied with your work.

“If memory serves me correctly, we’re still evenly matched. 350 to 350,” you say, not even bothering to address the second part of your demands.

But Din will take whatever you give him at this point, so he complies and swipes at your ankles with his legs, knocking you down. Taking the opportunity to get back onto his feet, he squares himself into position. You propel yourself back to your feet with much more grace, brushing yourself off and bringing up your fists. Din swears he can see faint lines of a smile on your lips and a glint of excitement in your eyes.

“Don’t hold back. Even if I’m mad at you.”

He smirks.

“Never.”

You were always better at close combat than he was; the nature of your preferred weapon required so. But what Din lacked in skill, he made up for in stamina, and that’s why he was able to keep your little competition even for such a long time. Your fight had been going for nearly an hour, and at this point, you��d normally tire out and start getting sloppy from exhaustion. But your residual feelings of frustration and dream of kicking his ass for the past three years kept you fierce on your toes. It also helped that he had a story to tell.

You listened attentively as Mando told you of the Mudhorn in between your relentless assault of jabs and kicks, how the child used his strange powers to lift a giant beast and how it was unlike anything he’d ever seen before. He also told you how he actually delivered the kid to the client, but turned back to rescue him before the Imperials had a chance to do any harm. (You noted how his voice dipped slightly in shame admitting this to you.) He told you of Sorgan, Tatooine and his reunion with Ran, and how no matter what system he seemed to end up in, the child was always in danger. As you processed this information, your attention seemed to slip, and Mando was able to throw a punch straight into your nose.

You stumble backwards, cursing at the pain and feeling warm liquid pooling on your upper lip. He relents for a moment, pacing towards you in worry.

“Shit, I’m sorry–”

You cut him off by gripping his arm, using his momentum to drive him over your shoulder and throw him on his stomach. Pressing your boot into his back and pinning him firmly against the ground, you tease.

“Not the first time I had you like this, Mando.”

You keep your foot firm against him as he struggles to push himself up against you, heavy breaths crackling through the vocoder of his helmet. Eventually, he relents and holds up his hands in surrender.

Pride blooms warmly in your chest, and you collapse on the ground next to him.

I nearly broke one of his ribs this time. You’re dizzy as you come down from the high of adrenaline coursing through you, exhaustion settling into your sore body.

“If I sustain another injury on this stupid mission, I’m taking all the credits for myself,” you say, wiping the blood gushing from your nose.

You hear him chuckle lightly beside you.

“You deserve it. I’ve been a total ass.”

“That, you have.”

Catching your breath, you focus on the sounds of birds in the trees, and the feeling of wind cooling and relaxing your body. It was so tempting to just give into him, but you remembered what you called him here for– why you initiated a duel in the first place. The talk with Amir this morning helped clear your head, but it still terrified you to address it all.

You take a deep breath, basking a little longer in this moment of peace.

“Thanks for not holding back,” you said earnestly, pointing to your nose.

Standing up and brushing the dirt from your clothes, you turn to him and hold out a hand.

“Are we good?” he asks, hope slipping through his voice.

“No. Not even close,” your lips curl into a sad smile, “But it’s a start.”

You pull him up to his feet, and your grasp on one another lingers for a fleeting moment. You’re the first to let go, brushing your sweaty palms against your pants. Walking to the shore of the lake, you take a few rocks in your hands and continue skipping them across the still surface of the water. Your heart is racing; you feel his gaze on you, expectant for … something, anything.

“When my brother left to become a rebel,” you began, voice taught with anxiety, “I was only 18 years old. For a long time, I was so angry with him. Who leaves their only family behind? Alone? To fend for themselves? I was–I was convinced I didn’t care what happened to him after that. That I hated him. ”

Something painful catches in your throat. You skip another rock.

“We were so young. He wanted to take me with him, y’know? Find the Moff that killed our family and get revenge. Destroy the Empire and end their reign of terror. I was too afraid; all I could think about living to see another day. But after a while, I missed him so much–I just wanted my family again. I started to regret not going with him, but then I met you.”

Mando didn’t respond, listening carefully and hanging on your every word.

“And when you came along, it felt... nice to let someone in again. Not just as a coworker but as a friend. To not be alone. To have someone in my life. To– ”

To fall deeply, wholly, and beautifully in love.

Frustrated, you grip the smooth stone in your hand tightly. You feel like you’re rambling; there’s just so much.

Mando finally speaks, “Y/N, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I’m still hurt and angry,” your voice was beginning to tremble, “That being abandoned for a second time was the worst feeling in the galaxy. I need you to know that.”

You hear him walk towards you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“Mesh’la, please look at me,” he pleads.

“But I also need you to know that and I left things like this, I’d never find peace.”

You turn around to face him, tears in your eyes and heart leaping in your throat.

“Because there was a time where I thought I’d know you forever. And I don’t want to let it go.”

taglist

@bella-ciaao @tiffdawg @peggers-n-beggers @sinnamon-bunn @adlerorzel-blog @theocatkov @paryl @fruitsaladtree @allisondavis236

thx loves 💘

#migraine #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian/reader #din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin/reader #baby yoda #IVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS SINCE LIKE 7AM DJSKLA;FDSFJK #LEO POST ON TIME CHALLENGE

138 notes · View notes

gumnut-logic · 4 years

Note

okay so i have been having bad brain lately and struggling with life but i just took a deep dive into your ao3 to catch up on all your wonderful words and needed to let you know how brilliant you are (again) bc it’s been a while. thank you for writing the dentist. it’s such a beautiful heartbreaking story and you handled the mental health stuff so very tenderly and carefully and the way virgil’s brothers care so much and so differently, my heart just !!!! (1)

i know we’ll be home for christmas wasn’t my secret santa gift but it truly feels like it when you bless us with injured virgil and beautiful scenery and pure unadulterated fluff. what a beautiful world you have created. sotto voce is just. phenomenal. there are no words for how much it blows me away every time i reread. the prince who would be king?? i don’t normally read medieval stuff but this???? is everything!!! (2)

shooting star hurts so much but in the best way, you are TOO GOOD to us. finally. i will stop soon dw, but listen, live, lie, laugh, learn & love??? honestly probably my favourite fic ever. i come back to it often and just weep every time because it’s a masterpiece and virgil is so perfect in it, i am just so in love with your writing style. every time you post i get a happy leap in my chest & i get inspired to write my own so thank you for making me love writing again. you’re the best xoxo (3)

-o-o-o-

I woke up to these this morning and oh my god, I have just reread this so many times trying to work out how to do justice and answer such lovely words ::hugs you so much::

I really couldn’t have written what I have without this wonderful fandom to keep me going. You, in particular, have always been so encouraging and amazing to me, how can I not keep writing? I stumble across your comments from time to time while rereading fic and they are just so encouraging ::hugs you madly::

I’m sorry to hear that life is being nasty to you ::offers you a Virgil to hug:: I hope things improve as soon as possible. ::more hugs:: I’m glad my fic helps just a little bit. I know I’ve used fanfic in the past to get through rough patches, so I’m really just returning the favour.

Regarding the fics you mention: (wherein Nutty babbles about behind the scenes of her fics)

The Dentist - My most recent actually started out as supposed to be funny, but I’m never in control of these things. I drew from my own phobic experiences (though not of dentists and certainly not caused like Virgil’s). I grew up in a, shall we say, unsympathetic environment to a sensitive child (I am sensitive to a whole bunch of things - side effect of my artistic abilities, I guess, has it��s up and down sides) and developed at least two phobias that messed with my life. The only thing I ask is if someone says they are scared of something, please respect that and assist them in working with it rather than mocking them. It may seem stupid, but the fear is real and terrifying. And yes, Scott Tracy, I’m looking at you - treat Brains with a little more respect, you arrogant flyboy. Not everyone has the same talents. Thank you so much for your kind words and for reading through what turned out to be a very emotional fic ::hugs you lots::

We’ll Be Home For Christmas - I feel Secret Santa is really a gift to everyone. We all enjoy reading each other’s fics and I’m so glad you are enjoying this one. This one has been magical for me. I have learnt so much researching it and I feel I’ve been on the voyage with the boys. Poor Virg, though, I had to injure him just to get the plot moving. I am so mean to him :D I will finish this fic. It has to be finished. I’m enjoying it far too much for it not to be finished. As to the world, I didn’t create it ::hugs:: The beauty of it is that it actually exists just north of New Zealand. I have watched so many videos of this amazing place, I will have to share when the fic is finished :D

Tales of Sotto Voce - This series will always have a big place in my heart as it impacted on my writing like no fic before it. I learnt so much and enjoyed it so much. I really need to finish The Price because John needs to have the last say in this saga and boy, does he have a lot to say. Thank you so much for rereading it. It is always wonderful to hear that my archived words are still being read ::hugs::

The Prince Who Would Not Be King - I’m a little scared of this one. It could essentially become a novel and it would be a steep learning curve for my writing skills. The amount of work involved is daunting and honestly it is tempting :D But not until I finish Shooting Star, We’ll Be Home For Christmas and The Hero :D It seems I can write things at the drop of a hat, in fifteen minutes, at lunch, before work, early in the writing piece, but each story gets to about the three-quarter mark and then I really have to start thinking hard to make sure I tie up all the loose ends and deliver what the story demands - this can’t be done at odd minutes, so gets relegated to time off work where I can focus, hence the delays. Plus my frickin’ muse often refuses to behave ::glares at it:: I’ll wrangle with it and will win eventually ::glares at it some more::

Shooting Star - I was looking at this one yesterday. I have the conclusion worked out, I’m just trying to segway into it. Muse wouldn’t co-operate so I wrote Together instead. This was supposed to be a simple Virgil-John chat fic. It blew up in my face. The emotions in this one just hurt. But I feel it is a conversation the boys had to have. Scott would not just leave his brother up there with a potentially murderous AI. There has to be a reason why it all worked out...and some how or other I now have to illustrate exactly that ::headdesk:: How do I get myself into these situations? But anyway, some more is written, I just have to make it work properly. Thank you for sticking with me as I stumble through my brain working things out :D

Listen, Live, Lie, Laugh, Learn & Love - I have always loved the 5 + 1 fic format, but had never written one. At this point I wasn’t sure I could finish such a challenging format (yeah, look at my long fics now, but back then I was terrified I didn’t have it in me). I also had no idea where the fic was going until about halfway through, was totally new to the fandom and to Virgil’s character and to this day still worry I bent his character oddly with the choir boy bit. It is true that canon Virgil has never sung on screen (that I’ve been able to discover) so this fic is possible, but I’ve never been entirely confident I pulled it off well. So yeah, lots of doubt hovering around this early piece, so your words mean ever so much to me, particularly about this fic ::hugs you lots::

But most of all, the best thing you’ve said in all this is that you are inspired to write. I couldn’t ask for more. There is never anything more wonderful than knowing I have helped another artist pick up a pen or brush or take that step to push their ideas out into the world. The world is so much better the more art and creativity unleashed upon it. The world is crazy about science and technology, but the truth of the matter is that art and creativity and innovation underpin everything our species has ever achieved. That and art can offer such relief from a crazy world that does not lend itself to the natural rhythms of life.

::grin:: I’m not a coffee drinker like the Virg, but you wanna see Nutty devolve into a similar bearhead to the sans coffee Virgil, just see what happens when I’m denied my creative time. You get fic cos Nutty needs to exercise her creativity everyday. It keeps me healthy. It comes in many forms and media, but at the moment it is writing and TAG and yay, lots of fic :D

Aaaand, I’m babbling. Apparently I like to talk about myself ::ducks head shyly:: Sorry :D

But thank you ever, ever so much for all your support. It means ever so much to me and the only way I can really express it is to write more fic. :D

Which reminds me - I do take prompts, do you have something in particular you would like me to write? I’ve just come up on my 100th TAG fic on Ao3 and I should celebrate. I don’t think I’ve written you a special fic. Would you like to make a request?

::Hugs you ever so madly and sticks marshmallows down your shirt::

Thank you so much for reading and being so kind and putting up with my crazy.

Nutty

(off the edge, learning to fly, ignoring that damned migraine I had this morning and worshipping the almighty paracetamol)

15 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs