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bronte-deserves-better · 3 years

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Hey @stars-and-splendors! I was your secret santa for the kotlc fandom gift exchange. Sorry this is a little late- I meant to give it to you Christmas day or the day after, but the fic got away from me a little...I hope the wait will have been worth it!

Without further ado, I present to you: 4.5k words of Keefe and Fitz trying to dance around their feelings for each other, feat. a few moments of shitty parents and some very tired friends/sisters.

Title: to find what you’re looking for

Summary:

The war is over. The Neverseen is defeated.

In the new, peaceful world, Keefe and Fitz are attending the Elite Towers, soon to graduate. Yet both of them feel like they're missing something. When Keefe comes up with a scheme to prank their parents, both of their worlds may change forever- with the help of a few exasperated friends and supportive elder gays, of course.

Wordcount: 4514

Warnings: homophobia, internalized homophobia, swearing.

AO3 Link

(Actual fic under the cut)

“Hey. Psst. Fitz.”

Fitz jumped, startled at the voice. “Keefe? Where are you?”

“Over here. Ditching class. Like usual.”

He followed Keefe’s voice to the secluded little hallway that the other boy used for ditching, finding Keefe sprawled out on the bench as usual. “What are you doing here?”

“Ditching class, like I said. What about you, handsome?” Keefe flashed a smirk, which Fitz knew meant he meant that in a joking way. Or, figured, at least.

“Also ditching class.”

“Seriously? That’s not like you, Fitzy.”

Fitz shrugged. “I’m feeling rebellious lately, I guess. It just seems like we’ve all been through so much and yet adults are still trying to tell us what’s good for us, like we weren’t the ones who defeated the Neverseen.”

“Fuck, yeah. That’s definitely. Yeah.” Keefe stared at the ground, suddenly serious. “Everyone’s been like that, huh?”

“Well, not everyone, I guess. Sir Tiergan’s not bad about it, but he fusses so much about me and Sophie.”

“Oh, right, you’re supposed to be in telepathy. Won’t Sophie notice you’re gone?”

“Yeah, but that’s why I’m out here. No one will find me.”

Keefe nodded and patted the bench next to him, straightening up a little. “Come on, there’s room for two.”

“Thanks.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, staring at the white walls of the Level Six wing.

“So,” Keefe said eventually.

“So.”

“You wanna spill about what’s bugging you so much?”

Fitz could feel himself tense, but he forced his muscles to relax a little. Keefe just cared about him because they were friends. Yeah. “I don’t know. I just feel directionless. Like, we defeated the Neverseen and did this whole big thing, and now it’s over. It feels like- no, it is like- I’ve been fighting this war my whole life, Keefe.”

“Cause your dad-“

“Sent me to the Forbidden Cities when I was a child to search for Sophie.”

“Kinda a dick move of him, really.”

“N- Yeah. Yeah, it was a dick move of him.”

Keefe scooted a little closer, and Fitz’s breath caught just a tiny bit. “Hey, I know what it’s like. I mean, my dad never sent me to do illegal shit for him when I was a kid, yeah, but I mean….yeah. Mommy dearest and all. My parents are shit in a different way than your dad, but I get it. So I guess what I’m trying to say is…I’m here for you, and I know that sounds 100% cheesy but I really do mean it.”

“Oh. I mean, thank you. I should probably tell you I’m here for you too, since that really is true as well.” Fitz’s brain was not functioning, he decided.

“Ah, I knew that. You all told me so much back when mommy dearest was fucking up my life. Still, I appreciate it.”

“It’s always been true. Even when we were fighting over Sophie.”

Keefe snorted. “That was weird, honestly. Like, it was so obvious from the start that she wasn’t straight. Must’ve been pretty wild for you when she ended up with your sister, though.”

Fitz shrugged. “I had been over her for a while.” And questioning his sexuality, but he wasn’t going to tell Keefe that. Backers didn’t do that. Vackers weren’t gay- well, except Biana. But that was okay, Fitz knew she wasn’t any worse for it. Still, it wasn’t like he was gay.

“Fitzy boi, you with me?”

“Yeah sorry. Got lost in thought. What were you saying?”

Keefe grinned. “Well, I was saying that on the topic of shitty parents and gayness, I have an excellent way to piss off both our parents.”

“Go on?” Fitz was pretty sure Keefe’s plan would be ridiculously over the top and hilarious, but he was pretty ready to go along with whatever.

“Right, so, you know how there’s an end of year ball for Elite Tower students? Cause we have to be ready for the nobility and all? What if we went together?”

“Are you asking me out?” Fitz blurted.

“Ah, I wish. Nah, I’m asking if you’ll be my fake date to a ball so my dad will have a heart attack. If you’re okay with that, that is. Like, no pressure.” Keefe suddenly looked shy, and Fitz could hardly refuse that look. Besides, it would be fun to give his and Keefe’s dads a collective heart attack.

“Okay, I’m in.”

The next two weeks were spent plotting and planning as to how they would pull this off, with Sophie and Biana as their enthusiastic wingwomen.

“Okay, so, Biana’s already planning you guys’ outfits,” Sophie told Keefe as she walked back into her room at Havenfield, where Keefe was currently visiting.

“Tell her to make me look fabulous,” Keefe declared with a great deal of drama, doing his best to flop back onto the bed.

“I will, trust me. But I wanted to ask you about some other stuff related to this, since the Vackers are outfit shopping and you know I don’t do that.”

“Ok, fire away.”

“One, are you asking Fitz to this thing to piss off your dad or because you have a crush on him? Two, how dramatic should your prom-posal be?”

“As dramatic as possible.” Keefe hoped against hope Sophie would forget about her first question. “Like, we’ve got to be extra about it.”

“Ok. And about my first question?”

“I....I’m doing this for a lot of reasons. One, Fitzy boi needs to lighten up a bit. Two, I love him. Three, I would kill to see my dads expression when he finds out.”

“I kinda figured.”

“I’m that obvious? Guess I’ve upped my flirting game.” He shot a wink to Sophie, who just sighed.

“Keefe, you’re never as subtle as you think you are.”

“Damnit.”

“Yeah. Apparently your lack of subtly is only matched by my obliviousness.”

“Well, thankfully for me, Fitz is just as oblivious as you.”

Sophie sighed. “He’s going to find out someday. I did, you know.”

“Well I’ll make sure that day is far away, because he’s way out of my league.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Nopity nope nope. You two deserve each other, and I mean that in a good way.”

“Stop being so nice,” Keefe whined.

“No can do. Now let’s plan how you’re going to dramatically ask him to elf prom.”

The ‘promposal’, as Sophie had deemed it, took place in the atrium of the Gold Tower. They had agreed that Keefe would do the asking, since Sophie was far more interested in arranging a dramatic proposition, and Biana was far more interested in making sure that the two boys would look fantastic for the party. So all Fitz had to do was hang around and wait for his best friend to show up.

Thankfully, Keefe didn’t keep him waiting long, sweeping into the room like he owned the place. Maybe he did own Foxfire, really, the gorgeous boy who could charm people with a wink. He was certainly charming Fitz, not that Fitz was going to tell him that.

“Hello, my dearest Fitz!”

“Hey, Keefe.”

“I have a question of utmost importance for you.” By now, Keefe had come close enough that Fitz could see a hint of a blush staining the other’s pale cheeks.

“Oh, go on?”

“Wellllll.” Keefe dragged out the word, fidgeting with something behind his back, which he whipped out to reveal a gorgeous bouquet with flowers of silver, gold, and elegant teal. “Will you be my date to the end of year ball?”

This is staged. This is all staged. He’s not really interested in you, Fitz reminded himself. Still, he must have sounded a little breathless when he replied. “Yes, I would love to.”

“Well then I shall await you at the bottom of the staircase two weeks from now!” Keefe bowed dramatically and handed him the flower arrangement.

“I’ll be there,” Fitz promised quietly, flowers tickling his chin and Keefe’s grin making his cheeks heat.

“Oh, wonderful.” Keefe smirked again and practically danced away as the rest of the prodigies stared at the two of them.

“I hear you caused quite the scene today.”

Keefe jumped, looking around and then finally down to see who had said that. “Oh, hi, Councillor Grumpypants. What are you doing here?”

Bronte glared at him without much real anger. “Sophie and I’s session is in this tower, remember? I’m just waiting on this landing because someone’s using our classroom right now.”

“Right, gotcha.” Keefe fiddled with the hem of his tunic, trying not to seem too nervous. “Do you disapprove of scene-causing? Seems like a pretty old and grumpy thing to do.”

“Ha ha. I might have few qualms about distracting other prodigies, but I see no harm in you asking Fitz to the end of year ball. Honestly, it doesn’t seem all that surprising that you did.”

“Do I vibe as that gay?”

“I have no idea what you mean by vibe, but yes, I assumed you were queer.”

Keefe snorted. “Okay, so even the old people think I’m hopelessly in love with my best friend.”

“Well, not exactly all that,” Bronte said dryly, “But as the…how did Zarina put it? ‘Gayest motherfucker on the Council’, I know a baby queer when I see one.”

“Gayest motherfucker on the Council…that’s fabulous.”

“Indeed. Now I have a session to get to, and I’m sure you do too, but…good luck with your date.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m sure it will go well, and trust me, Leto will shut down anyone who tries to give you shit for it pretty damn quickly.”

“Good to know.” Keefe watched the older elf hurry away and up the stairs, muttering under his breath about ‘need to get an actual timepiece one of these days’. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all…

Fitz was pretty sure both Sophie and Sir Tiergan could tell he wasn’t actually concentrating that day in telepathy, too busy thinking about teal-and-silver flowers and Keefe’s little blush. Could Keefe really like him like that? Why did he even want Keefe to like him like that?

Sophie didn’t seem to mind, just sending him a few knowing looks, although Tiergan seemed vaguely worried. “Fitz, are you with us?”

“Oh, yeah! Sorry, Sir Tiergan.”

“There’s really no need to call me sir,” Tiergan sighed, for about the thousandth time since Sophie and Fitz had started telepathy sessions together. “Really. And no need to apologize either, you just seem a little distant today.”

“Probably got a lot on his mind,” Sophie spoke up, nudging Fitz gently. “I know I’d have a lot on my mind if someone brought me flowers and asked me to a ball.”

“Ah, yes. Do try to concentrate on your telepathy, but I can understand that.” Tiergan shot Fitz a gentle smile, and Fitz ducked his head and nodded.

The session went by fast enough, and before Fitz knew it, the session was over and Tiergan was asking him to stay back. “Not for long, I don’t want to make you later, but I figured I’d check in.”

“O- okay.”

“See you, Fitz!” Sophie called. “I’m going to go tease our lovely friend about how blushy he gets around you!”

“Bye,” Fitz called, and Tiergan smiled again.

“I was actually going to talk to you about that ‘lovely friend’, assuming that’s Keefe?”

Fitz stared at the slightly shorter elf, debating what to say. “Yeah- yeah, that’s him.”

“I guessed so.” Tiergan fiddled with his sleeves for a moment, seeming uncharacteristically hesitant. “I wanted to tell you that you two are very brave for this- it’s not unheard of, but it will be a shock. That, and I hope it will be somewhat easier for you than it was for me when I was your age.”

“You’re-“

“Have you seen the way I look at Leto?”

Fitz had to admit that was a fair point. “I guess I should have known earlier, but I didn’t want to assume.”

“Very polite of you, but I would find it more than fair to assume my queerness based off my general demeanor,” Tiergan said wryly. “Anyways, to bring us back around to our original topic of conversation, I also wanted to let you know that you have Leto and I’s full support. If anyone gives you shit for this, I want you to tell me and I will ensure they don’t get away with it.”

“Benefits of having the principal for a boyfriend,” Fitz muttered before he could think to stop himself, and then clapped a hand over his mouth. “I’m so sorry, I’ve been hanging out with Keefe too much.”

Tiergan flushed lightly. “No, no, you’re right. Though I will say, Leto has spent a long time trying to protect students who are cast out or fall through the cracks. Now that he’s in a position of power, neither of us have qualms about using it to help any student who could use it. So please, come to me or Leto if you need anything, or anyone bothers you. And I’m not saying that because I pity you or anything of the sort, but because I wish some adult had told me this when I was your age.”

“Oh.”

The older elf smiled sadly. “Indeed. But now I get to make sure the next generation has it better than I did, and that’s something.”

Fitz nodded. “I think that’s a really kind thing.”

“Thank you. It’s really the bare minimum of what I could do, but…somehow I never find the time to help out as much as I would like.” Tiergan glanced at the clock. “Anyways, I’m making you late for your next session, so hurry on your way. You can tell your mentor I kept you late and to take it up with me if they’ve got a problem.”

“Okay!” Maybe this wasn’t such a terrible plan after all…

The end-of-year-ball was approaching quickly, and Keefe’s nerves grew as quickly as the days between now and then passed. Which was very quickly, what with finals coming up. Fitz and Keefe were studying for them together, of course, which made for a lot of late nights in each of their rooms in the Silver Tower, laughing, talking, and pretending to quiz each other on the material but not getting far without getting distracted. Fitz was always beautiful, Keefe thought, but perhaps the most lovely when he was sitting in the cozy room, laughing at some silly thing Keefe had said or brandishing flashcards mock-sternly. His eyes shone a little in the silvery lighting, and his hair fell across his face cutely, and Keefe might have been a tiny bit in love. Just a bit.

So they kept hanging out together, one night after another. Sometimes they talked about fun things like baking or pranking, sometimes they talked about serious things like the past or the Black Swan, and (rarely) they studied. And before they knew it, they had passed all their finals and it was time for a ball.

Fitz fiddled with the clasp of his cape one last time as Biana put the final touches on his hairstyle. “Are you sure this is good enough?”

“Please, I know good fashion when I see it.” His sister flipped her hair, and then shot him a reassuring smile. “Keefe will pass the fuck out, in a good way. And all the stuffy nobles will think you look fabulous right before you dance with one of their sons.”

“How do you pass out in a good way?”

“I mean that you’ll knock everyone dead. Boys. Honestly.”

Biana turned him around to look at himself in the mirror, and Fitz did have to admit that she’d done a good job. He was wearing an elegant tunic in a shade of medium blue, nearly cobalt, and a much darker jerkin over that which faded from green to blue with elegant silver embroidery over it. His cape followed a similar color scheme, and it fit perfectly, falling around his shoulders and down to the ground, where the hem was also embroidered with silver and tiny flecks of lumenite. Biana had styled his hair slightly asymmetrical, more so than he would usually wear it, and sprinkled tiny bits of silver across that too. He didn’t know if he was drop-dead gorgeous per se, but it was an outfit he could feel confident in.

“Okay, you did a good job,” Fitz admitted.

“Of course I did. Now get on down there and knock them dead.”

His nerves only increased as he descended the staircase, despite his endless repetitions of ‘it’s not a real date’. It didn’t matter how much he said that, the fluttery feeling in his stomach about Keefe seeing him all dressed up was not going away.

When he reached the bottom, Keefe was already standing there, and Fitz momentarily forgot how to breathe. The other boy’s equally intricate ice blue jerkin matched his eyes perfectly, and his blonde hair had little bits of pure gold braided into the parts that were long enough to do small braids on. The rest was artfully messed as ever, but in the sort of way that made you think Keefe had spent a long time getting it perfect. His silvery boots made a click click noise on the silver floor as he stepped to greet Fitz, and Fitz had to blink a few times to get his mouth to work again.

“Hey there, Fitzy boi.”

“Hey.” It was a pitiful greeting, but it was the best he could really manage at the particular moment. “You look…really incredible.”

“And you’re as stunning as ever.” Keefe’s grin seemed less confident than usual, a hint of genuine shyness behind it as Keefe ducked his head a little.

“Flatterer.”

“Only the right level of flattery for you.” Keefe extended his arm. “Shall we go?”

Still barely breathing, Fitz took his arm as they headed for the Leapmaster.

Fitz was stunning. Beyond stunning. He was some entirely new level of gorgeous that Keefe would have to invent a word for when his brain started working again, which he doubted would be anytime soon given Fitz’s close proximity to him. Standing at the bottom of that staircase, all dressed up in his finery, he had truly looked like an heir to the Vacker Legacy, but he was so much more than that. Whether he’d been born a Vacker or into the least-well off Talentless family, Fitz would always have been kind, unique, handsome Fitz, and Keefe would have loved him just the same. Keefe doubted the courage and strength that Fitz always carried with him would be any different had he been born to a different family, doubted there was any universe in which Fitz wasn’t his gorgeous, fierce self.

He managed to concentrate enough to get them safely to the ballroom, although if he hadn’t, he had no doubt Fitz would have more than made up for it with his ridiculously strong concentration. Speaking of strength, Fitz was gripping Keefe’s hand tightly as they arrived, and Keefe squeezed back gently, staring over the crowded ballroom.

Tonight, nobles, parents, and Elite Tower students all mingled, a preparation for balls and parties that the Elite Tower students would likely attend later in life. It was a much looked-forward-to event. And Keefe and Fitz, two male prodigies, would be attending it together, which was an extremely rare occurrence. In fact, Keefe could already see people staring at them in their position on the landing.

He squeezed Fitz’s hand again. “Let’s go down to the dance floor, shall we?”

Fitz nodded shakily, and they descended the staircase arm in arm. The staring only increased, but if Keefe pretended that it was just girls staring at him in Level Four because they thought he was hot again, he could mostly ignore it.

What was harder to ignore were the furious parents sweeping over to them.

“Keefe, I can’t believe you would disgrace the family like this-“

“So good to see you with your friend, Fitz.” Alden looked like he was speaking through gritted teeth. Keefe would have liked to punch those teeth right out of his mouth.

“I know, Keefe is a wonderful boyfriend.” Fitz’s voice was calm, but electric blue spirals of fear drifted through Keefe’s emotional ‘vision’.

Before Alden had a chance to say anything further, Della lightly tugged his arm. “Let’s go say hi to the Glixina family, darling.” She shot them a tiny smile, prompting a wave of soft purple relief from Fitz as Alden allow himself to be dragged off.

Unfortunately for Keefe, Cassius was not so easily dissuaded. “Really, Keefe. Parading around with boys on your arm-“

“I make my own choices,” Keefe muttered.

“And is one of them this?”

Keefe forced himself to look up and smirk. “Nah, I didn’t choose to fall in love with him. Just to ask him out.”

Cassius sputtered more, but before he could gather the coherence to say anything, Tiergan had come sweeping over with all the frozen grace of a swan. “Excuse me, Lord Sencen. My dear friend Leto would like a word with you about your son. I’m sure you understand that some matters are very important.”

“Well, Sir Tiergan, I’m in the middle of speaking to said son currently.”

“This truly cannot wait. Please, follow me.” Tiergan swept away again, practically dragging Cassius in his wake.

Sorry about that, Tiergan’s voice echoed in Keefe’s head. Leto will thoroughly lecture him about all this, I promise. And you don’t have to talk to him anymore tonight if you don’t want to, we arranged the ball and we can keep him away from you.

Keefe startled, squeezing Fitz’s hand. “Fitz-“

“Yeah?”

“Can you transmit something to Tiergan? He just told me that he’d keep my dad away from us, I want to thank him.”

Fitz flashed a tiny, hesitant smile. “As you wish.” He closed his (stunning, lovely) eyes briefly, and then blinked them open again. “Sent. He says ‘of course, let me know if you need anything else’.”

“Thanks, Fitzy boi.” Keefe offered a grin of his own. “Now that the parents are out of the way…may I have this dance?”

“Of course.”

The dance steps were familiar, and that was lucky, since Keefe wasn’t exactly paying good attention to what he was doing. Not after everything that had just happened- and not when Fitz had a hand on his waist. Elven music wasn’t as good to lose yourself in as the human music Sophie had showed him, but Keefe found it pretty easy to get lost just focusing on Fitz. The music swirled around them, and the floor was steady under their feet, and even the stares of others weren’t so noticeable when it was just the two of them dancing together. One step. Another. Always in rhythm. Keefe wondered a little if this was what it was like for Cognates, if their minds synced the way dance partners who knew each other well did. He had to admit to a little jealousy that he would never know what the kind of bond felt like, but…hey. It was pretty okay to be an empath, especially since he could see Fitz’s bubbling pink-and-blue happiness float through the air. It might have been a difficult, nerve-wracking entrance, but Fitz was happy to be dancing with Keefe and that was all Keefe could really ask for. Although…Keefe frowned at the slight mist of green sorrow hanging around the other, tempering his joy and keeping the bubbles from floating as far as they should have.

“Hey, Fitz.”

“Yeah?”

“You good?”

“Yeah- yeah, I am.”

They took another few steps in silence.

“Hey, Keefe?”

“Yeah?”

Fitz sucked in a slow breath, and a few lines of tension pulled around his form. “When you told your dad that you had fallen in love with me…”

Shit. “Yeah?”

“Your heart didn’t skip any beats.”

It was Keefe’s turn to suck in a breath and try to find something, anything to say in reply to that. “Maybe- I mean, I was mostly trying to piss him off.” He could feel his treacherous heart skip one-two-three this time.

“I felt your heart skip that time.”

“Okay, so….maybe I liked you. A little. Or a lot. And maybe I think you’re handsome and brave and kind and all that, and maybe I asked you to the ball partially because my dad would be mad but partially because I just wanted to be with you but you’re Fitz fucking Vacker and I’ve never had a chance-“ Keefe forced himself to take a breath and a step back from Fitz, unable to bear feeling the other’s emotions as well as his own right now.

“Keefe, wait, I-“ Fitz reached out a hand, and then pulled it back. “I love you too. And I think you should know that because no matter how much better you think I am than you, or whatever, you’re always going to be the guy who pulled me out of my shy little shell as a kid and then kept doing it, over and over and over. You’re always going to be the guy who stuck with me even when I was a major jerk, the guy who helped pull me out of my shell again and realize I wasn’t as straight as everyone thought. And more than that, you’re Keefe. I know you think that’s a bad thing, but it’s not. It’s the highest compliment I could give.”

People were staring at them again.

Keefe barely noticed. “Give me your hand.”

“As you wish.” Fitz held out his hand, and Keefe pushed his empathy out to the other. A little hint of fear, of nervousness… lingering joy from the moments before, and beneath that, glowing golden hope. No guilt, no shame. Nothing to make him think Fitz was in any way lying even if what the other boy had just said seemed too good to be true.

“You really- you really love me like that?”

“Yeah.” Fitz laughed, a little sadly. “It took me forever to notice, but I should have known the day you asked if we could go to the ball together. Or before that, even.”

“Well I fucking love you too. Have since we were young, really, but Sophie fucked with my brain and I didn’t see it until you and Sophie broke up. I thought I was jealous of you, but...all this time, I’ve been jealous of her.”

Fitz’s smile was so, so gentle. “I’m sorry it took me so long to realize.”

“And I’m sorry I didn’t just ask you out the day I suggested this whole fake dating,” Keefe joked. “Seriously, you took your time, but…that’s okay. I was willing to wait.”

And the gorgeous teal-eyed boy who Keefe was starting to realize might be his reached out a hand to cup Keefe’s cheek. “Do you mind if I kiss you?”

“What a scandal it’ll be.” Keefe wasn’t sure he was actually breathing. “But no, I don’t mind.”

So Fitz kissed him in front of the entire goddamn ballroom, and Keefe couldn’t have been happier.

#fitz vacker #Keefe Sencen #keefitz #semp writes #this took forever skjhfshjkf #im so sorry im late

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drarry-with-a-side-of-harry · 4 years

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THAT WAS ONE OF THE GAYEST EPISODES IN A HOT MINUTE LMAOOOO WTF

so i’ve just watched series 4 episode 10 ‘A Herald of the New Age’ uhhhhhh

wait wait wait so gwen’s gone for two (2) seconds and Arthur and Merlin are flirting like they’re in a school playground all over again lmaoooo i’m so done

so first of all they get back to Camelot and Merlin’s falls back into his concerned boyfriend routine 🥺🥺🥺🥺 SIDE NOTE THE KNIGHTS ARE JUST FULLY AWARE OF THESE TWO AT THIS POINT THEY ALWAYS FLIRT AND ARE REALLY TENDER IN FRONT OF THEM I CANNOT BE ARSED anyway Merlin asks Arthur if he’s alright and Arthur’s all sad and brooding 🥺🥺🥺 so Merlin says he was being quiet and Arthur just answers him with a snide remark but with none of the laughter and ARTHUR, KING, SWEETIE WHY WON’T YOU JUST LET THIS BOY HELP YOU???? 🥺🥺🥺🥺

SO THEN WE SKIP AHEAD A BIT AND OMFG LET ME TELL YOU I WAS CACKLING WITH LAUGHTER AND KEPT HAVING TO PAUSE IT. THIS SHIT IS GOLDEN

so Merlin walks in on Arthur asleep at his desk. if you’ve watched the show you will remember this scene because it’s too iconic but am i gonna run through it anyway?? you’re damn right i am because i am obsessed lmaoooooo

SO MERLIN JUST STRAIGHT UP BANGS ON THE DESK REALLY FUCKING LOUDLY TO GET HIM TO WAKE UP HAHAHAHAHHAA AND ARTHUR HAS FOOD ALL OVER HIS FACE I-

who fucking wrote this shit it’s too good man

Arthur jumps out of his mind and Merlin the little shit has the audacity to say “oh i’m sorry i didn’t mean to scare you” HAHAHAHAHAHA YOU ABSOLUTE DICKHEAD MERLIN 😭😭😭😭😭😭 and he barely even cracks a smile how this man holds it together i will never know. honestly how Colin Morgan managed to deliver that just once without cracking up is beyond me.

OH BUT WE’RE FAR FROM FINISHED

so Arthur responds “you didn’t scare me, i was asleep” LMAOOOOO YEAH BITCH WE KNOW HAHAHAHAHAHA IM STILL SCREAMING ABOUT THIS

so now Merlin starts to laugh a bit but he’s holding it together. you know when you’re in school and something funny happens with your mates and you shouldn’t laugh because you’re meant to be working but you can’t not laugh and you’re all just snorting to stop yourselves from laughing??? yeah same energy

Arthur: “why’ve you got that stupid smile on your face?” baby i don’t know what to tell you anymore

Merlin: “it’s nothing. why were you sleeping with your head on the table?” and his face just drops to confusion HOW DOES HE NOT KEEP LAUGHING

Arthur: “i fell asleep while i was reading” uh huh okay sure thing

Merlin: “what were you reading?” this is turning into the most mundane conversation you’ve ever heard but it’s priceless because Arthur’s still half asleep and Merlin’s just fucking with him i’m so done

Arthur looks around trying think of something and realises be can’t lie anymore so this bitch just has to say “i am the King of Camelot i do not have to answer to the likes of you” LMAOOOOOOOO KING JUST ADMIT YOURE AN IDIOT AND LEAVE and Arthur’s almost cracking a smile at this point too we get it you love him

Merlin: “oh you’re in a good mood, you obviously got out of the wrong side of the table” AND THIS MAN JUST STARTS PISSING HIMSELF AT HIS OWN JOKE I-

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AND ARTHUR’S DEADPAN STARE IS PRICELESS

and Merlin explains the joke while he’s still laughing and Arthur replies “that’s extremely clever and funny Merlin there really are no limits to your wit now will you please just get me some breakfast” HAHAHAHAHHAA MATE WHEN I SAY IM HOWLING WRITING THIS POST

‘there really are no limits to your wit’ sent me

so Merlin goes to get breakfast and Arthur (who has loads of food on his face remember) uses the plate as a mirror OH BOY

THIS SCENE COULD NOT BE ANY FUNNIER I SWEAR

he lowers the plate with another deadpan stare aimed at the door. boy is FUMING LMAOOOOOOOO

he shouts Merlin and i will suck my own big toe if there is anyone in the castle Camelot that didn’t hear him MY GOD THAT WAS PRICELESS

me current state: deceased

OH AND IT DOESN’T STOP THERE OH NO NO NO

so the very next scene we’re at training Arthur tells the lads to pair up and Gwaine asks what’s in his hair. Arthur’s face is just a picture. Merlin helpfully answers that it’s stew. Leon asks him why he’s got stew in his hair. Merlin quickly responds “because he was reading” in that tone when Merlin’s being a right snarky little shit oh you know

the lads just turn to look at Arthur like “wtf man??”

Arthur takes a minute and says “change of plan. i think we’ll try something different” lmaoooo you just know what’s coming next

so Merlin’s used for sword practise

Arthur has first go and the lads are smirking at them and each other like “oh these two had another domestic” “about the stew this time ahhh right” lmaooooo

JUST GOLD

there was a whole two (2) minutes of just solid flirting, taking the piss and just generally annoying the shit out of each other i-

OH AND THERE’S MORE

it’s nighttime now and this cheeky bastard asks “would you like me to make up the bed Sire, or will you be sleeping on the table again?” with a little smile on his face HAHAHAHAHAHAHA it just keeps getting better this episode really is a gift

Arthur doesn’t respond because he’s all moody again and Merlin all but roles his eyes all he wants to do is cheer up his boyfriend 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 so he sighs “is this about Gwen” and Merlin looks kinda irritated and sad and Arthur won’t even look at him and Merlin says “we all miss her. you more than anyone” and Arthur cuts him off with “you can go now” maaaaate the feels

Merlin: “Arthur”

Arthur: “get out” oh so now you look at him

omfg you were happy earlier can you please just let him help you ffs you’re just making each other really fucking sad and it’s not helping anything

and Merlin leaves and Arthur kind of looks over his shoulder and almost shakes his head like he doesn’t actually want him to go 🥺🥺 and every damn time something like this happens i expect him to say “no, wait” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

and now Arthur looks even more sad. well baby i don’t know what to tell you but you did just do that to yourself a little bit. just leT MERLIN HELP YOU ffs

SO Merlin storms in and dad Gaius is at the table reading and Merlin’s just ranting that he’s done being nice to Arthur and he doesn’t get any thanks and he’s saved his life so many times and all he ever does is shout at him. yeah boy we know aND SO DOES GAIUS because this man does not look up at him!!!!!! tell me that’s not Merlin ranting to his dad about his crush i swear-

Gaius tells him there’s more important things to worry about like the plot of this episode perhaps??? lmaoooo this is getting out of hand now. dad’s so done with Merlin’s lovesick bullshit lmaoo

so we move on a bit and Arthur tells his uncle that Merlin thinks Elyan’s possessed oh so now dad’s dead you value Merlin’s counsel huh king?? we love to see it

we love that Merlin can speak up a bit more now ehehehe

so uncle says that Merlin’s just tryna protect his friend and Arthur just looks at Merlin like “i believe you don’t worry but we need evidence man”

oh my christ we’re only half way through true episode i’ll try and speed things up a bit i think the main Merthur action’s done anyway

Merlin breaks Elyan out. arrives back at Camelot and walks into the throne room. Arthur’s drinking and reading something and just looks up when Merlin enters with the most glorious look on his face like “oh this bitch is back finally” and carefully considers what he’s gonna say to him 😂😂😭😭😭

Arthur: “Merlin! good of you to join me. perhaps i should fill you in on all that’s been happening while you’ve been... that’s a good question. what the hell have you been doing??” LMAOOOOO these two i can’t

Merlin: “i was...”

Arthur (cutting him off): “choose your next words carefully. they may be you last” pahahahahahaha alright king pipe down

Merlin: “i was searching.. in the woods.... for some herbs for Gaius” boy’s just rambling about herbs and says he got lost

Arthur: “you mean to tell me that you’ve been wandering around in the woods all night???”

and the look on this man’s face. WONDERFUL

Merlin says yes and Arthur asks what happened to his head because it’s bruised and i just knew it was coming ffs “i tripped over a root and hit my head on a tree and knocked myself out” this fucking moron. this fool i despair

Arthur just toys with him and offers him some food with him at the table is it a joke though Arthur if you actually just want to have a lunch date with him and Merlin realises he’s joking and we get another golden deadpan stare from Arthur and it’s the funniest shit damn this episode is blessed and Arthur just stares him down as he fucks off out of the room lmaooooooo 😭😭😭😭😭😭 and then to finish it off dramatically picks up his paper again so we all know he’s back to ‘important reading’ uh huh Arthur sure you’re not just thinking about that interaction?? like the rest of us clowns

fast forward and Arthur let’s Elyan go and somehow Merlin’s there again???

anyway Arthur talks to his uncle and when he’s gone Arthur confides in Merlin and Gaius i’m sorry but we have to stan some A+ development (also i really hope Arthur’s starting to lose trust in his uncle because i was sort of getting that vibe from this scene idk we can only hope)

Merlin’s in Arthur’s chambers that night clearing up and Arthur says “that’ll be all Merlin” anD MERLIN REPLIES “are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” UMMMMMMM FOR WHAT????? I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT ARTHUR WAS GOING TO SLEEP UHHHHHHHHHHHHH IDK MAN SEEMS KINDA SUS TO ME WHAT’RE YOU GONNA DO MERLIN JUST SLEEP IN HIS BED WITH HIM??? HMMMMMMMMM THE PLOT MAJORLY THICKENS BECAUSE ARTHUR DOESN’T EVEN FIND THIS AN ODD SUGGESTION BECAUSE HIS RESPONSE IS JUST “think i’m gonna get an early night” OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL THAT IMPLIES THAT HIM AND MERLIN WOULD BE- *BIG COUGH COUGH*

AND SECONDLY THAT IMPLIES THAT THIS IS SOMETHING THEY’VE DONE BEFORE I REALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS INFORMATION THE EVIDENCE SEEMS PRETTY CONCLUSIVE TO ME YOUR HONOUR

then they have a nice little joke about Merlin not getting an early night lmaooo we do love to see the bants

so later on Merlin follows Arthur into the woods lmao of course he does would you really expect anything less at this point?? and they have this whole why are you here?! no why are you here?! moment lmao

Arthur tells him he’s free to go back to Camelot at any time sweetie you really think that’s gonna happen?? you fool Arthur Pendrgaaon because obviously Merlin’s not going anywhere AND THEN ARTHUR’S BACK TO BEING A SELF SACRIFICIAL LITTLE SHIT AGAIN BABY YOU’RE KING NOW YOU CAN’T BE SO WILLING TO DIE AT EVERY FUCKING PROBLEM WTF we find out that this whole thing’s Arthur’s fault but this whole scene is honestly so nice and lovely and warm and he knows what he did was wrong and that he was a stupid young man 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and the druid boy forgives him 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and he’s CRYING omg recently Merlin’s constantly on the verge of tears but when Arthur cries you know some bad shit’s going down and the music omgggg 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 “from this day forth the druid people will be treated with the respect they deserve, i give you my word” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i love him your honour

so then we’re back in Arthur’s chambers and Merlin says “you know that was incredibly moving what you said at the shrine” Arthur says “it served it’s purpose” because Elyan’s alright ARTHUR STOP PRETENDING YOU DON’T CARE TO LOOK COOL FOR YOU BOYFRIEND MERLIN KNOWS YOU’RE 10X THE MAN YOUR FATHER EVER WAS

Merlin says “you meant it” and then Arthur gets a bit snappy because he’s embarrassed 🥺🥺🥺 and Merlin says “i don’t ever think i’ve seen you cry before. well not like that. you had tears running down your cheeks it’s nice to see this new sensitive emotional side to you, it suits you” doesn’t it just baby???? 🥺🥺🥺🥺 then we get a classic shut up Merlin and this is the first time Arthur dares to look at him throughout this conversation 😭😭😭 and then Merlin mocks him *gasp* “i really thought you’d changed” lmaoooo “then you’re as stupid as you are ugly” lmaooooooo Arthur just tell him he’s pretty and leave

and just to finish things off

Arthur’s walking to the door

Merlin: “so there’s no chance that we could have a hug?” and he’s half 🥺 and half smiling/laughing ready to play it off

Arthur turns back to him and starts play running towards him and Merlin runs away and Arthur tackles him off screen aND YOU CANNOT TELL ME ARTHUR DID NOT GIVE THAT MAN THE BIGGEST HUG WHEN THEY WERE BOTH DOWN ON THE GROUND AHHHHHHHHAHAHAHA THEH ARE SO PURE I LOVE IT 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 can you not just imagine these two giggling and chasing each other round the room i-

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femvimes · 5 years

Text

Notes from the Script Book (episodes 1-3)

I got the Nice and Accurate Script Book and proceeded to take copious notes of things that weren’t in the show, or illuminating ways that Neil wrote things. It’s SUPER interesting but I took a lot of notes, so see them under the cut:

Introduction:

In a 1991 movie script for GO that Terry and Neil wrote, the producers pressured them into writing that Aziraphale worked at the British Museum and that Crowley OWNED A NIGHT CLUB. How’s that for an AU

Neil knew from the start that he wanted Aziraphale and Crowley to be the main characters

“I think it’s fair to assume that if, at any time in the last 6,000 years, anything interesting happened anywhere on Earth, Crowley and Aziraphale were probably there, not doing whatever it is they were actually sent there to do” (It is a gift, a gift to the foes of Mordor fanfiction writers)

Episode One:

Crowley originally hisses the “lead balloon” line unintelligibly while in snake form

Crowley’s wings are grey (why? this is super interesting to me)

Aziraphale “thinks tartan is nifty, and would use the word nifty with pride”

Aziraphale and Crowley originally had extra introduction scenes. In his, Crowley uses an army of rats to bring down the London mobile network. Then he tells them to, and I quote, “stay cool”.

Crowley runs from police in the script (like in the book) and uses RATS to sabotage their engine

One thing I was confused about in the show - Satan interrupts the radio to tell Crowley his work on the M25 was a stroke of genius, but it doesn’t sound like Ben. I think it’s actually a Freddie Mercury impersonator to make it sound like Satan is talking to him through Freddie Mercury (which is also in the book)

Crowley’s M25 Powerpoint originally happens in episode one, and in the script when he says his fateful “Can I hear a wahoo” everyone mumbles “Hail the Great Beast, Devourer of Worlds”, which is imo not nearly as funny as the non-reaction in the show

Thaddeus Dowling is a “presidential hopeful”

THE PRESIDENT IS LITERALLY BUSH IN THE SCRIPT

Like in the book, Crowley kills a duck at St. James’s Park, Aziraphale gives him the “really, my dear” line and Crowley brings the duck back to life. (I would sacrifice, like, the tip of a finger to hear Aziraphale call him “my dear” just ONCE)

Although the show never explains why Pestilence was replaced by Pollution, Crowley and Aziraphale discuss it in the park. All the Four Horsemen also have longer introductory scenes, but I’m glad they were cut because they don’t add a lot

Before Crowley and Aziraphale get drunk, they have “spent a very pleasant day together”

Aziraphale’s regency silver snuff box obsession was in the script, but dropped from the show

When Aziraphale starts to agree with Crowley, he’s described as “coming over to the dark side”, starting a trend of hinting at Aziraphale’s Fall and personally killing me, Tumblr user femvimes

Nanny!Crowley is “sexy and domineering”. Snerk.

Crowley and Aziraphale sit next to each other on the bus in 2012

The part that everyone says David and Michael improvised with the magic trick is in the script. So I’m not sure what part of the scene was improvised. Maybe the blocking?

Crowley appears to be “in charge” of the caterers at the birthday party

There’s an extended sequence at the party where Warlock fires a gun (like in the book) that got cut in favor of the food fight

Crowley brings the dove back to life by snapping his fingers

Aziraphale swears by saying “sugar” which was probably an amazing running gag which culminated in him losing his cool and dropping the f-bomb

Crowley told Hell he invented the CIA torture practices (woof)

Episode Two:

Stage direction: “the plants are terrified. No, I don’t know how we show this on television either.” I like to think that behind each plant in that shot is a production assistant shaking it.

Aziraphale brings shortbread on their trip to Tadfield

Crowley and Aziraphale both ask each other if the other side will give them asylum. (This foreshadowing is comin’ in hot, folks)

The scene where Aziraphale and Crowley get shot by paint balls was meant to be “shot like a war film”. WE WERE ROBBED

Crowley “gestures” to make the paint go away. Yeah, huh, he, uh, sure “gestures” in the gayest way possible

The full wall body slam is in the stage direction (Neil I REALLY want to know ur reasoning here)

“Aziraphale is rather enjoying having the upper hand in the ideas department”

Crowley tells Aziraphale at one point “Dude. Chill.”

Episode Three:

In Rome, there’s a few lines that get cut where Crowley buys Aziraphale his glass of wine

When Aziraphale agrees to the coin toss in the Globe, he “falls”. (I just can’t. I can’t anymore)

When Aziraphale sees Crowley in the Nazi Church scene, he’s “realizing they are still friends”. KILL ME

This seemed relevant, because I’ve watched the scene so many times: In 1967, Aziraphale opens the car door, delivers his “don’t look so disappointed” line and presumably exits the car after the “you go too fast for me” line. I prefer the blocking they kept (obviously) because it makes him seem more reluctant to leave

ALSO: after Aziraphale leaves the Bentley, a neon halo flashes on and off above his head. (WHY? did they cut all the references to Aziraphale Falling? This is all I want!)

More that got cut: some not-great jokes about Mme. Tracy’s sex work (thank God someone reined Neil in, ‘cause yikes)

We have one (1) Dear Boy: Aziraphale calls Shadwell that in their phone conversation

#good omens #the nice and accurate script book

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magical-xirl-4 · 5 years

Text

Gonna leave a “read more” cause I’m sure most of y’all have seen Party Crasher. I didn’t watch it when it came out cause I wanted to see Desperada first. Read this and you might be entertained.

Yknow what’s cute? Wayhem and Adrien facetiming

Gabriel harvesting the butterflies is definitely, and unexpectedly funny

“Oh come on man, that’s the only thing you do! Work with me here!” Nino to Kim, about Kim not normally going to the pool on that day

“This has got to be the record broken for the most excuses in a single hour.” Alya omg ahaha

Aw, Gorilla collects action figures! Cute

Is shooting a ball in into the b-ball hoop really the only way to get the piano out in Adrien’s room?

KIM WENT SCREW IT, STRIPPED AND STARTED SWIMMING IN ADRIENS BATHROOM

That’s the gayest record I’ve ever seen (it’s totally parodying YMCA)

MARC AND NATHANIEL!!!! MY BABIES IVE MISSED THEM

Gabriel’s butterfly picking was interrupted and- oh fuck. If the power’s down, what’s going to happen to Emilie?

bUT THE FUCKING VIDEO IM WATCHING WITH THE SUBS IS SO FUNNY. As soon as Gabriel pushed his hands against the elevator and shouted “Emilie!” The subs were like: Next time, on Grey’s Anatomy.

AND WHEN OFFICER ROGER CAME IN IT SAID: “Who’s keeping a corpse in the basement?!” (It caught me by surprise and I thought they actually snuffed Gabriel out 😂)

God this is getting more ridiculous the more dudes keep showing up. I LOVE IT

I’m not even joking when I say this, this episode is reminding me of when I used to make my Barbie dolls have crazy ass parties with a shit ton of characters that were all part of the story - main characters, minor ones, even the backdrop characters. One person would always have their shirt off. This episode feels exactly like that and I love it.

JAGGED STONE SHOWING UP IN A HELICOPTER IS THE CHERRY ON TOP

And Major Bourgeois having make up all over his face is also amazing shit post content. Like I said before, this feels exactly like crazy barbie party perfection

Also happy my bby Luka is here <3

Omg can you believe it’s the same firefighter guy from Oni-Chan?

WHY IS THERE A PERSON IN A BANANA COSTUME IM CRYING

BANANA MAN IS FLYING I REPEAT BANANA MAN IS FLYING

OF COURSE MASTER FU IS THERE AND WE DIDNT SEE HIM COME IN

“We have everyone for StationNation! But.... no el moustachio, the manliest of them all....” (collective sigh)

IM WHEEZING. MASTER FU FELL OFF THE ICE BOX AND THE SUBTITLES SAID *dies*

Subs also said Kim is hot and there’s no lie there

Hawkmoth: I’m not sensing any negative emotions... *cuts to them partying* *cuts back to HM* HM: WHO THE FUCK IS IN MY HOUSE!?!?!$;$:/$@1

NOO, WAYHEM DONT BE SAD! ;-;

Man, Gorilla was just trying to play with his action figures, don’t interrupt him :(

Yo why is Marc on a table 😂 I love this kid

Lukaaaa, I see you behind that car

Lmao we finally got that Ladynoir bridal style carry with LB holding CN

BOI SQUAD IS BACK BITCHES. Even though we haven’t seen Pegases yet I’m just happy to see Carapace and Viperion

IS KIM REALLY STILL FUCKING SWIMMING?! THIS BOY I SWEAR HE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE WHAT WAS HAPPENING. HES THE BEST

Ah yes the dance scene of the ep. god they’re iconic

All of them beating Party Crasher up with dance music in the bg is so awesome

ALL OF THEM DOING THE POUND IT IS SO CUTE. And they’re all cleaning up after the party, aww!

Aww at least Nino apologised to Marinette, and they laughed it off saying it was for Adrien. They’re so sweet

AHH!! DID YOU SEE MARI AND ADRIEN LAUGHING TOGEHTER? MY BABIES

THIS IS TERRIBLE QUALITY I KNOW BUT I CBB TO GET IT BETTER

also HOLY SHIT, NO END CARD?

Oh nvm we just got punked

AWESOME EPISODE, IT WAS DUMB FUN

#miraculous ladybug #party crasher

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coeurdastronaute · 6 years

Text

Essays in Existentialism: Stud Pride

“Once again, Clarke, I would have gladly pimped you out much earlier if it meant you’d secure us access to a private jet on demand.”

Across from her friend, Clarke smiled to herself as she watched the clouds slip by outside of the window. It was early, but the sky was so blue, and the clouds were spotty, showing off the passing country below.

“You’re different,” Raven mused as she sipped her mixed drink.

“I’m not.”

“You are,” she teased with a mischievous grin. “You’re awfully happy. And oddly calm about dating someone who just gives you their jet for the weekend.”

“I’m dating someone with a jet,” Clarke shrugged. “I have to be okay with it.”

“The last time we were here, I asked if you were in love.”

“I remember.”

Clarke sipped her drink and let out a long sigh before finally facing her friend. She didn’t want to admit that she was different, but two years with Lexa was enough to change her, just as she was certain Lexa wasn’t the same as when they met. They both grew, and for Clarke, a certain comfortableness grew and blossomed.

“You’re calm and confident. Happy. Just… content,” Raven observed. “I like it. Looks good on you. Dating a billionaire must be good for your health.”

“Stop calling her that.”

“Your girlfriend is in London, and gave us her private plane to use so we could go to Miami for Pride and spend the week basking in the sun in a penthouse room at a swanky hotel. She’s a billionaire.”

“To be fair, we own the hotel,” Alexander Woods piped up, leaning forward from his seat a few rows back and to the left. “It doesn’t cost her anything.”

“Your girlfriend owns a hotel,” Raven nodded.

“Please don’t encourage her,” Clarke rolled her eyes at her girlfriend’s father.

“Am I a power bottom or a service top?” Aden asked as he flipped through a magazine.

“If you’re anything like your sister, you’re a power top,” Raven muttered, earning a pillow tossed from her friend.

“You can be whatever you want, son.”

“This is going to be a long week,” Clarke sighed again.

In truth, she was only a little sad. It was plainly because she missed her girlfriend, and as much as she enjoyed Alex and Aden, they just reminded her that Lexa was missing from the equation. They were poor substitutes, but fun enough additions.

The plane continued on its journey, cutting across the eastern seaboard in hopes of finding beautiful beaches and a gay ol’ time. What began as an off-handed idea of Raven and Clarke going somewhere for a weekend suddenly erupted into a pilgrimage. And it would have involved Lexa, had the meeting not popped up so rudely.

“We’re not here to cramp your style, you know,” Alex offered. “Just hitching a ride to the Keys for a few weeks.”

“I can’t let you apologize to me for letting us use your plane. This is seriously more than I could have ever dreamed,” Clarke chuckled. “I’m hardly doing you a favor.”

“Putting up with us is enough.”

“Easier than your daughter.”

“She is a handful, isn’t she?”

They shared a conspiratorial look and smiled at the idea of the hellion they both oddly missed and wished was around to embarrass. Instead, Clarke watched Raven watch the clouds and play on her phone intermittently.

“You know, you never finished telling me about your plans,” Alex offered, taking his whisky as the stewardess passed.

“Just a lot of beach and sun and pool,” Clarke smiled. “And we have some friends who live down there who invited us for some festivities.”

“I have to admit, I’ve never been to a Pride celebration.”

“They’re more fun if your girlfriend shows up.”

“We’re unveiling new initiatives and scholarships for minorities. I should do some research.”

“I know exactly where you can start,” Raven piped up, suddenly interested and with a mischievous smile. That was her permanent state at that point. Clarke tried to give her a look, but it went ignored.

“Curiosity and such,” he nodded, clinking his glass with their’s.

“To Pride,” Raven cheersed back.

“What could go wrong?”

“I could get used to this,” Raven sighed as she adjusted in her lawn chair, soaking up the sun and enjoying the warmth.

Just this morning they were in New York and complaining about the heat. Now, they were sunbathing on a rooftop pool deck and loving the feel of the oppressive warmth. A private jet is an amazing thing.

“Don’t,” Clarke warned. “We can’t keep accepting things from Lexa.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t pay her back.”

“You’re in a relationship. You don’t have to pay her back.”

“I don’t like getting used to it.”

“You have to at some point,” Alex interjected, lifting his sunglasses only to wipe some of the water from his face.

Sometimes, Clarke was absolutely blown away by Lexa’s family. Her father reminded her of one of those old time actors who grew older but still remained insanely hot. She certainly could understand Raven’s weird infatuation; at least to a degree. But he also was so amazingly down to earth that it reminded Clarke of her own father, and his straight-to-the-point wisdom.

Aden splashed into the pool again, never tiring as he came up and grabbed a raft.

“I’ve gotten better,” Clarke assured him. “It’s still a little weird when your girlfriend tells you to take the jet to her penthouse on the beach.”

“Yeah, I’d imagine.”

“We’re not allowed to spend money on ourselves,” Aden offered. “We don’t waste it. Lexa loves you. It makes her feel good to do things for you.”

“That’s true. It’s purely selfish at this point,” the father agreed.

“I swear to God, I have to figure out a way to marry into this family,” Raven muttered to herself.

Clarke laughed to herself and watched the boys play in the pool for a few minutes, mulling over what they said, though she didn’t get long, as her phone began to ring and a familiar picture flashed on the screen letting her know who it was.

“Hey,” she smiled, her cheeks instantly growing wide at just the thought of her girlfriend’s voice.

“I am so sorry my family added themselves to your weekend. We’re nothing but genetically predisposed to interrupting and annoying everyone around us--”

“Hey, I’m great. Thank you so much for the trip. This place is beautiful. How are you?”

“Oh, right, yeah, that stuff. I kind of jumped right in, huh?” Lexa worried, her voice a little tighter, her words a little quicker than normal.

“You did.”

“Sorry. I was in meetings, and I just caught up on everything.”

“Don’t worry. We’re going to take them with us.”

“What?” Lexa bulked. Clarke wouldn’t know it, but she literally paused with the new information, halting her long stride through a distant subway station, interrupting the flow of pedestrians with the notion of her father and brother celebrating the gayest month of the year with her girlfriend on a beach.

None of it added up.

“Your dad and brother are just joining us for Pride.”

“Wow. That’s… wow.”

“I like your family.”

“You’re not obligated to humor them. I set this up for you and Raven. I don’t want you to feel--”

“Lex, breathe,” Clarke chuckled. “We’re having a good time. They’re just pushing their trip to the Keys by a few days. No big deal. Relax.”

“Are you sure?”

“If only you were here, it’d be perfect.”

“Don’t get sappy on be, Griffin.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“I got called Dad like sixteen times,” Alex shook his head as he grabbed another piece of pizza.

“You got called Daddy,” Raven corrected. “There is a huge difference.”

“It did seem like a compliment,” he nodded.

Stretched out on the living room floor of the penthouse suite, the odd unit filled their bellies with greasy food to combat the inevitably sugary drink hangovers that awaited them after a night of fun on the beach at parties no one ever expected to see Alexander Woods, CEO and Owner of Woods Industries, hanging out at.

Groggy-eyed and exhausted from a long night of video games, Aden enjoyed seeing the adults in his life a little off-center. Something about it was so affirming and oddly normal about the idea of never growing up. Completely unable to keep both eyes open, slurring their words, with no filters, it was fantastic.

“You’re a catch,” Clarke promised, mouth full, though she tried to cover it as best she could. “You’d clean up if you decided to try out guys. Or girls again.”

“Oh no,” he blushed and shrugged.

“Yeah, Dad, you never really told me why you haven’t dated again,” Aden realized, suddenly confronted with the idea.

Raven’s eyes grew wide as she looked at Clarke. Pride had been amazing. It’d been a party and an event and so much fun. This seemed new. Gently setting down his pizza, the patriarch swallowed and avoided looking at his son.

“I was already in love once,” he shrugged finally, though it looked like he debated many more words.

Never in her life, would Clarke have imagined that this was where her life would lead her. But sitting on the floor with the ocean and skyline as her view, just beyond her own personal infinity pool, with one of the richest men on the planet and her best friend, she didn’t have time to question it at all.

“You can still date. Me and Lexa won’t care. We just want you to be happy,” his son promised, nonchalant and Clarke understood that this family was emotional deficient, but trying. It was genetic.

“This is goddamn adorable. Why can’t you be older?” Raven lamented, almost on the edge of tears. “Why can’t you be younger?” she accused the father, earning a few laughs.

“I think Aden’s onto something,” Clarke tried. “Lexa just wants you to be happy.”

“I am,” Alex smiled thoughtfully. “You all might not get to understand it, but I was so madly and truly in love with another person. She was my best friend. She was my heartbeat and breath. I can’t think of anyone else. I’ve tried. Plus, my kids need me.”

“Goddammit that’s fucking adorable,” Raven grunted, wiping away her eyes.

“Oh my God,” Clarke sighed. “That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.”

“I only got it for what felt like a second,” he continued, grabbing another piece of pizza, not even aware that he was unlocking the universe for all hinging upon his words. “But I bet it always feels like that. Two months or sixty years. You find the love, and it’s never enough, but it sustains me now.”

“You could still date. What’s it called?” Aden furrowed. “Companionship? You have to have someone to hang out with when I leave to go to college.”

“I’ll get a dog.”

“Are you crying?”

“I’m fine,” Clarke lied, wiping her cheeks, much worse off than Raven, who now was curled up on the edge of the couch, cradling her crust.

“You’re crying,” Aden realized, growing worried.

“I just miss Lexa,” she sniffled. “I really love her, you know?”

The father and son nodded, not sure what to do. Aden hadn’t learned it yet, but he took this education as best he could, that after two in the morning, the weepy part of a drunk girl party was inevitable.

“We know,” Alex promised.

“I think I love her like you did your wife.”

“Oh.”

Dark green eyes grew wide at the realization. He looked at Clarke and searched her face, noticing the familiar fear and love all mingling together behind glassly blue eyes.

“I love her so much.”

“Thank God,” Aden grunted, handing over a blanket for her to clean up with, nothing else in his reach could help. “She’s nuts about you.”

“I just miss her so much, and I love hanging out with you guys, but you make me miss her more because she’s not here, and she would love Pride. She loves to dance. I love dancing with her.”

The rambling continued, and Alex ate his pizza slower, still dizzy from the booze and his own foray into dancing. Aden tried to cheer Clarke up, though nothing worked.

“I know,” he tutted, giving her a bottle of water.

“I miss her so mu--”

Before Clarke could finish, she locked eyes with Lexa, or at least who she thought was Lexa. She squinted and turned around after staring at the reflection, afraid of seeing that no one was there.

But she was.

“I’m drunk, but Aden, tell me I’m not making this up,” Clarke whispered, slowly standing up in a drunken stumble of an attempt.

“Thank goodness,” he sighed. “I thought I was going to have to take care of them all myself. I’m never drinking.”

“Sorry,” Lexa smiled, dropping her bag. “Delayed because of traffic. Apparently Pride means streets are fabulously closed.”

“Lexa!” her father cheered. “I’m a daddy. Aden is very straight. I’m on the fence, honestly.”

She couldn’t look at her father though. Lexa just stared at Clarke and held her arms open, amused at the state of affairs of the festivities.

“I leave you alone and you’ve got my dad contemplating his sexuality.”

“Everyone is just so pretty,” he defended himself.

“We’ll talk about it in the morn--”

Before she could finish, Clarke pounced, climbing right over the couch and leaping over a sleeping Raven. Her arms wrapped around Lexa’s neck and squeezed. Despite the smell of vodka and pizza and sweat and Pride, Lexa hugged her girlfriend and closed her eyes, melting into it as she wrapped her arms around her ribs and inhaled her neck.

“I love you so much,” Clarke mumbled.

“I love you too.”

“I think I made your dad a little Bi. I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay. He’s always had a crush on Burt Reynolds.”

“Oh, Burt. Yeah. Forgot about him,” Alex nodded.

Lexa shook her head and hugged her girlfriend tighter. She felt like a real person again, and she wasn’t sure how the difference existed, or how she didn’t feel it until it was dispelled, but right there, with Clarke crying against her shoulder and hugging her tightly, Lexa felt whole.

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littlestspider · 5 years

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Okay so some semi organized thoughts of the new She-Ra (as of being 8 episodes in):

The characters are written so well so far. Holy shit. I adore them. I haven’t met a single character in this show yet who I find boring. They all have such distinct personalities.

On a related note, the character design is fantastic. Each one’s outfit and hair and features are so colorful and interesting. So many different races, heights, body types, features. Not only does it offer good representation but it also just makes each character so much more interesting. There’s absolutely no cookie cutter or same face issues here. I already want to draw almost everyone in this show.

Catra. Just...Catra. I swear this character was specifically made for me to obsess over, ohmygod. I love her. I want her to murder me. I love her.

I’m really loving the surprising emotional depth of this show??? I went into this thinking it would just be a fun, light, campy watch. But I got a LOT MORE FEELINGS than I was expecting. Episode 7 hit me especially hard. I loved it.

THE OPENING THEME. The opening theme is the gayest cheesiest shit I’ve ever seen in my life and I wish it was an hour long. If anyone knows where I can find a full version of the song please hit me up because I need to listen to it forever.

Catra. Did I mention Catra? I love Catra.

Why do I have to be stuck at work right now??? I want to go home and watch the rest of the episodes right this second.

#kaytext #kay watches she ra

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must-be-mythtaken · 6 years

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Y’ALL I saw the most AMAZING production of The Merchant of Venice this weekend.

HIGHLIGHTS:

-it was in a tiny little theater, maybe 50 people max? So we were super close to the stage.

-they kept it super minimalist. If the scene needed a chair they’d bring it on, or a table for the 3 boxes, but in general it was all left up to the imagination. Between that and the closeness of the stage, it kept the whole thing feeling very intimate.

-it was clearly a very small company, so while Antonio/Bassanio/Shylock/Portia stuck to their single roles, most of the other actors did some quick changes off stage. I love seeing actors jumping in and out of different roles

-this play is...problematic, and the anti-semitism is hard to ignore. But Shylock’s “If you cut us do we not bleed” speech in this intimate theater was...intense. I had goosebumps. I felt it deep in my bones. I imagine if I’d been the sort who had laughed at the earlier anti-semitic jokes, his lines would have cut me even deeper.

-in happier news, if you’ve read/watched The Merchant of Venice you may have thought “Wow...Antonio is like...SUPER in love with Bassanio”. The director of this play had the same idea. From the first scene, I was like...wait...gay??? He gay??? In KOREA? From the delivery of his lines to his subtle actions when not speaking, the actor playing Antonio made it clear that his love was romantic, if possibly one-sided. Lingering touches to Bassanio’s arm or shoulder, visible pain on his face when Bassanio spoke of Portia. The intimacy of the theater let his emotion get right into my heart.

-which brings us to the climax of the play, the courthouse drama that attempts to spare Antonio’s life. My dudes, my friends, it was INTENSE. We’ve got Antonio about to have his heart cut out, Bassanio by his side trying to pay back his debt, and Portia in disguise trying to save Antonio. (I’m aware that if you don’t know the play well this is confusing as all get out)

So we get to THIS intense bit:

But little: I am arm'd and well prepared. Give me your hand, Bassanio: fare you well! Grieve not that I am fallen to this for you; For herein Fortune shows herself more kind Than is her custom: it is still her use To let the wretched man outlive his wealth, To view with hollow eye and wrinkled brow An age of poverty; from which lingering penance Of such misery doth she cut me off. Commend me to your honourable wife: Tell her the process of Antonio's end; Say how I loved you, speak me fair in death; And, when the tale is told, bid her be judge Whether Bassanio had not once a love. Repent but you that you shall lose your friend, And he repents not that he pays your debt; For if the Jew do cut but deep enough, I'll pay it presently with all my heart.

So let me break this bit down for you. Antonio is like, clutching Bassanio’s hands at the beginning of this speech, and his voice is cracking and my dudes...I was having an EMOTION.

SO WERE THEY

I stole this picture from their site. “Say how I loved you” OH MY GOD THE FEELINGS. I WAS NEAR TEARS. BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

At the climactic “I’ll pay it presently with my heart” THEY GRAB EACH OTHER AND HAVE THE KISS OF A LIFETIME.

Says Bassanio:

Antonio, I am married to a wife Which is as dear to me as life itself; But life itself, my wife, and all the world, Are not with me esteem'd above thy life: I would lose all, ay, sacrifice them all Here to this devil, to deliver you.

The whole theater erupted. A group of schoolkids freaked out. Gasping. I was in shock. I didn’t know what else to do so I started clapping and thank god the theater followed suit. I think I’m still in shock. Korea is not exactly........progressive. I mean yeah it’s a mostly foreigner based production but STILL.

-the rest of the play continued as it does but with the added bonus of textual Antonio/Bassanio love which makes all the stuff at the end with Portia even more interesting. Not only did her husband give away her ring, he also MADE OUT WITH A DUDE in front of her at a trial.

OH NO I forgot something else that just reached right into my chest and pulled out my beating heart:

PORTIA

Then you shall be his surety. Give him this And bid him keep it better than the other.

ANTONIO

Here, Lord Bassanio; swear to keep this ring.

OKAY SO. Portia is like “bruh you seem way more trustworthy than my dumb husband, you can be the one who makes sure he keeps the ring I give him. So Antonio, poor dear Antonio, takes the ring, and PUTS IT ON BASSANIO’S FINGER and his voice cracks like he’s about to cry and the second the ring is on he turns away from the audience to hide his face. I’M CRY

Anyway, it was the best and gayest production of the Merchant of Venice I’ve ever seen and I can’t believe it happened in Korea. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

#shakespeare #merchant of venice

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applesandpearsandsuch · 6 years

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WHO WANTS A LIST OF WLW MOVIES/TV SHOWS

No one asked but I wish someone would have handed me a list saying, “go gay, watch and be entertained.” Would have been so much easier. So my queerios, I have blessed you with a list of queer woman relationships in television and movies.

Ill be putting it on a scale of 1-10 of how good each relationship is. Just my personal opinion🤷‍♀️ I’ll also add a quick summary, not too long.

Enjoy.

But I’m A Cheerleader (movie)

8.5/10

I loVE this movie so much. One of my favourites of all time because not only is it hilarious, but adorable and beautiful. A girl, Meghan, is many things; a cheerleader, a brilliant daughter, and a girlfriend, but certainly not gAy, right? GOTCHA BITCH THATS WHERE YOUR WRONG! Her family and friends realize she’s gay (she’s just realizing too) and send her to a camp to ‘turn her straight’. Of course, a camp full of flaming homosexuals is a bad plan, and Meghan falls for the gayest most badass girl, graham. It’s super funny, quirky, cute, angsty, and the ending is so aDoRAbLE!😍

D.E.B.S (movie)

9/10

Hot, gay, spies. DEBS is one of those movies I wish I saw a lot sooner. It’s also more of a fantasy rather than a real life plot. Amy is apart of an organization called, the DEBS, and their duty is to fight crime and serve justice. But when straight A Amy falls for the villain, Lucy Diamond, straight A’s are the only thing straight about her (I’m sorry I’ll go home😂). It’s like a star crossed lovers thing, or a forbidden love and I’m obsessed. I also adore Lucy’s persistence while asking Amy out, iTS aMAZING I CANT. The whole movie is adorable, hilarious, cute and intense. Definitely one of my favourites.

Almost Adults (movie)

8/10

Almost Adults is one of those movies that’s more than a gay relationship, it’s about a close friendship between two girls and I lOVe it. Mac recently came out of the closet to her parents but can’t conjure up the courage to tell her best friend Cassie. Because Cassie recently broke up with her long term boyfriend, Mac can’t find the time to tell her. When she finally does, things become ‘weird’ or ‘different’ between them and that’s the whole reason Mac was afraid to tell Cassie she was a lesbian in the first place. Throughout the movie not only is Mac searching for a girlfriend, but is struggling to keep their friendship together as they grow apart. I know it sounds super angsty but Macs relationship is adorable and I’ve always wanted to meet someone the way she met Elliott. Also Levi is a great wing man👌.

Wynonna Earp (show)

10/10

Fuck yeah I’m giving Wynonna Earp a 10! Not only is the show amazing, sarcastic, life changing, angsty, adorable, hilarious and suspenseful, but there’s amazing character development and diversity! Wynonna Earp is a demon killing, sarcastic, confident, independent woman who everyone aspires to be. She recently returned to her hometown, Purgatory, reuniting with her sister, Waverly Earp. As the plot thickens, Wynonna and Waverly join more characters such as, Doc, Dolls and Nicole to kill all the demons with Wynonna’s gun, peacemaker. Wynonna is the funniest sarcastic killing machine I know, Waverly is such a small gay bean protect her at all costs, Doc is an immortal cowboy badass, Dolls is a hot strong deputy who is hiding some secrets, and Nicole is such a soft protective gay she means the world and I swear to god if she dies ima flip ou- anyways. Waverly and Nicole are adorable gay beans and so far they are end game!!! The whole cast irl are so kind and funny, it’s amazing how they are all friends with the writers too.❤️ This was not a quick summary but oh my god this show is amazing go watch it nOW. SEASON 3 IS COMING OUT SOON.

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imhongwherethesunalwaysshines · 6 years

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Falsettos Secret Snowman!

My person for @falsettossecretsnowmen was @rohdaly and I went with the prompt of a boys’ night out with Whizzer, Marvin, and Mendel. I didn’t edit this very much and I use names a LOT but yknow

1620 words, it was four and a half pages when I pasted it into google docs so I’m gonna put it under a read more because fuck that’s long

"Hey, dad?"

Whizzer made a quiet sound of acknowledgment, looking through the pictures he had taken that day and deciding which ones he wanted to keep.

"How come you and dad never hang out with other dad?" Jason asked, though the fact that he had so many dads made questions like this hard to word without it being confusing. He's worked out a nice system, though. When he's with Marvin and Whizzer, he calls both of them 'dad' and Mendel is deemed 'other dad', while when he's with Trina and Mendel, Mendel is 'dad', Whizzer is 'other dad', and Marvin is 'other other dad'.

Whizzer paused, pouting his lips in thought. "Because dad doesn't like other dad. Marv has a shitty relationship with Mendel. Kinda hates him, kid." He wasn't supposed to curse around Jason according to Marvin, supposedly it was 'a bad influence' but Jason was old enough as far as Whizzer cared to think about it, so as long as Marvin wasn't within earshot to scold him, he thought it was fine. Jason seemed entertained by it more than anything.

"Do you hate Mendel?"

"No, I think he's fine. He's the epitome of dad fashion, though. Terrible, I really should help him learn how to dress himself." That made Jason laugh, which in turn brought a smile, which eventually turned into a chuckle, to Whizzer's face.

"Then how about you take him to the mall or something?"

"What?"

"Take him shopping! C'mon, it'd be a dad adventure! A dadventure!"

"Oh god, Mendel's puns have rubbed off on you.." Whizzer shivers for dramatic effect, making Jason giggle again. "You said that just to make me cringe, didn't you?" Whizzer asks, a jokingly annoyed smile crawling onto his face.

When his question was answered by nothing but faux-innocent smile and more laughter, he stood from the table he was looking at his pictures at, walking towards Jason.

Jason, of course, knew that Whizzer's plan was to try and tickle his sides because of his awful pun, so he took off running, jumping on the couch to get more distance before zooming off toward the bedrooms in the house. Whizzer kept his pace just slow enough that he couldn't reach Jason, the two going on an all-out chase through the house.

Jason was having the time of his life, jumping on furniture and sliding over things, and Whizzer was just happy that he could make Jason happy.

They both ran past the bathroom doorway, where Marvin was standing with shaving cream still covering about half of his lower face. Whizzer stopped in front of him for barely a moment.

"Honey, it's already the afternoon, don't you shave in the morning?"

"It was a slow day."

Whizzer rolls his eyes, turning on his heel and resuming his Jason hunt.

"Oh, and Marvin? Call Mendel, tell him to come over here at noon tomorrow or something."

Marvin frowns. "Why?"

"We're taking him shopping. You may be a lost cause but that man might still have some sense left in him."

Marvin groans while Whizzer walks away, going back to chasing Jason or whatever else the kid wanted to do.

-----------

The next day, after some convincing, Marvin called Mendel and told him they were going shopping. Mendel agreed after what sounded like Trina telling him something along the lines of 'if Marvin and Whizzer are trying to spend time with you, agree. You know Jason wants all of us to get along.'

When Mendel showed up, Marvin turned to Whizzer and pouted.

"Do we have to go somewhere with him?"

"Marvin, you're gonna have to get over yourself and at least get neutral with Mendel. He's Jason's other father."

"But-"

"Do you know how much Jason lit up when I told him I didn't hate Mendel? He wants us to get along, Marv. At least try. If not for yourself or me, then... For Jason?" Whizzer gives him a small smile, making Marvin sigh.

"Fine," he groaned, dragging out the 'i', tilting his head back in a dramatic fashion, making Whizzer chuckle.

"Alright, come on, we have to go." Whizzer grabbed his hand and pulled him outside, walking over to Mendel's car.

The trio chatted while they drove, Whizzer doing most of the legwork to keep things at bay. Eventually, the conversation went from awkward small talk to an actual discussion, and Marvin and Mendel were genuinely talking and laughing. Whizzer was, admittedly, more proud of himself than he probably should have been.

Eventually, the three managed to more less reach a point of friendship. The tension between Marvin and Mendel a person would usually feel if they were within a mile radius of the pair was gone, and they were smiling. Not the forced smiles they shared back when Trina and Mendel first married, but real smiles.

Whizzer grabbed Marvin's hand and linked their fingers, walking inside the mall with Mendel on the other side of Whizzer.

Mendel was absolutely lost, he had been in here once(?) because he had to pick up Jason after he was done hanging out with his other kiddo friends. Marvin was barely any better, he'd only been in two stores that he could remember. Whizzer, however, walked through the building as if he knew the place like the back of his hand. Which, wasn't necessarily a lie, he kind of did.

Whizzer walked into a store that looked way too fashionable for Mendel or Marvin to be seen in, making sure both of the aforementioned men were still there (He only looked for Mendel, though, since Marvin was still holding his hand), and began leading them to where he intended on finding Mendel some kind of clothing.

"How did you manage to not get lost in here?"

"The better question is why are you walking towards that rack of awful clearance sweaters." Whizzer flashed a grin as Mendel turned on his heel and walked back over to the other two. "But, if you really are curious, there's an ice skating rink across the street that I work at, so I come here a lot."

"Do you ice skate because you're gay or the other way around?"

"I don't know, do you break doctor-patient confidentiality laws and marry your patient's ex-wife because your straight or the other way around?"

Marvin wheezed, pulling the hand he was holding up to his face and leaning his head against it, silently laughing. Whizzer looked down at Marvin and smirked proudly.

Mendel sighed, though he could tell by Whizzer's tone he was, in fact, joking and not genuinely bringing attention to this right now.

After about twenty minutes they ended up finding a shirt a bit nicer than Mendel's usual, and Whizzer was content with this result. Through these twenty minutes, they ended up making fun of a lot of things and generally bonding.

They were walking down to the food court, Whizzer and Marvin hand in hand, with Mendel a couple steps behind them.

"I feel left out." He says jokingly, motioning to their linked hands.

"I'll hold your hand too if it'll make you feel better," Whizzer says, looking back at Mendel, winking jokingly before devolving into quiet chuckles.

This was how the rest of the night went, sporadic moments of perfect comedic timing (And a lot of comedy free puns coming from Mendel) until eventually, Marvin glanced at the watch on Whizzer's hand and loudly shouted 'holy shit' in the middle of a store. The others both laugh as the realization of what he just did falls upon Marvin.

"I’m the bad influence on Jason? Last I checked I didn't swear at the top of my lungs in the middle of fucking Burlington." Whizzer teased, smiling at Marvin, who was looking at him with a not very convincing annoyed look.

"Anyway, why did you do that?" Mendel asks after awkwardly smiling at a few other customers that walked past the group.

"It's almost six o'clock."

"Jesus Christ I've been walking around a mall with you two for three hours..." Whizzer mutters.

"So... Time to leave then?" Mendel asks, looking around.

"I'm sure Trina misses having you around, and we should probably go back home-"

"What the hell are you talking about 'probably go home'? The only time sensitive plans we ever have is getting wine drunk early enough that I can sleep for twelve hours afterward." Whizzer interrupts, earning a laugh from Mendel and a sigh from Marvin.

"Yes, and in order to do that, we need to leave so we can get home before eight," Marvin says, giving Whizzer a look.

"Yeah, okay, let's go then."

After another twenty minute drive, Marvin and Whizzer said their goodbyes to Mendel, thanking him for giving them a ride before he left.

"Y'know, Whizzer, I think a boys' night out to a mall at three in the afternoon might be the gayest thing you've made me do."

"Marvin, you sucked my dick this morning and the mall is where you draw the line? Really?"

It was dark by the time Mendel got home, at which point Jason was in front of him before he could even get through the door, asking how things went and if they were all friends now and a lot of other questions that were being said too excitedly to be coherent. Mendel told him that they were definitely better friends than they were when he left the house, and Jason's face truly lit up.

"Mom invited Charlotte and Cordelia over while you were gone. All they really did was watch movies, though, it wasn't very exciting."

"I'll be sure to invite you next time I go out with your other dads."

What the fuck even are endings they aren’t even real

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vertigoambrosia · 5 years

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i’m exhausted but let’s see how much of road to new york i can watch

awww look at veit in the intro!

and karsten!

starting off with the new cham calling me a bitch

i know i always complain about the vimeo roku app but jesus christ three minutes in it starts desyncing that’s just teasing

chromecast please be less shitty than the last time

i accidentally went to bed instead of actually trying chromecast but i swear i am going to get throigh the entire show without going to sleep again

man this promo is so bland compared to usualy bobby stufrr

it’s kinda like...generic face

‘i always play fair’ really andy?

also - he’s coming to vinny to complain?

oh boywhat is this man cooking up

?? um why did this recap of the tag title change not include brookes cheating? that’s like...kind of an important plot point?

oh wait i guess we’re just supposed to be happy schadenfreude are here or something

i’ve got nothing against them but i adore rise and i kind of feel like this is undermining them since like, schadenfreude are a big uk thing so of COURSE everyone

brookes you show up like three times a year and two of those are the biggest events of the year shut the fuck up

that’s a little bit of an exaggeration but like...ehhhhhhhhh

the thing is that it’s not such bullshit that people will boo it or mock like - like, its not ridiculoise enouigh

oh it’s jurn. come to fight marius.

ugh he didn’t even drramatically take off the cape

actually it would be nice if the shotgun title changed hands on a rando road to show

not that i really want jurn to have a belt right now though

the gayest pin wins it

that was a really short match too...

KARSTEN

IN HIS GOLD BOWTIE

i can’t be cranky about this

oh boy

HE JUST ATE HIS APPLE

i am choosing to believe karsten is subtly shitting on the whole nick hein situation

‘yes fans, i was watching at home like ???? as well’

that shirt irie has is kind of amazing

i am....not exactly excited about a fourth bobby

HAHAHAHA THIS OVERDUB MUSIC FOR EMIL

IT WAS DEFINITELY NOT THAT SILLY CREEPY PIANO IN PERSON, RIGHT?

am i remmbering it wrong?

THIS STROBE

HIS EYELINER

oh this is........

he is actually an emo

emil is 20000% the wrong person for this gimmick

CROWCHESTER

please give us a crowchester promo i need to hear this strange bird child speak

my friend was talking about how her husband is suprisingly into supernatural and i told her about crowchester and she thought it was the funniest fucking thing on the planet

this is a lil rough around the edges but thats ok

marius wtf stay away from these nice boys

oh here comes sad emo

marius can’t stay away from the older men can he

wow i did not recognize pretty bastards in normal clothes

man they used to have title cards for everyone

i love lucky holding up the trophy to schadenfreude

WHOLESOME TIME

aw but pete is mad

strict father

awww don’t scold him

now i have to scold pete on twitter for being too stern with his son

yuu is going back to japan in april and that makes me sad

they really need to work on an actual regular womens roster again

wesna: *chops yuu*

yuu: *chops wesna back*

wesna: how dare u

i know wesna is pretty firmly in gwf so that’s probably why she doesn’t show up often

but i wish we had like...enough comen that we had feuds or at least ineractions outside of the title scene

i mean, last tour we at least had kelly being confused by kris

but at this point kelly is apparently out of the title scene, yuu is leaving in a month,

huh, surprised wesna won that, especially since yuu has been booked pretty strongly in the matches she’s in

oh i guess maybe we will get toni vs wesna?

david :(

btw in case you hadn’t heard david starr did a great promo for an roh championship match where he totally shat on sinclair broadcasting, their parent company who is also really shitty and roh does NOT like being reminded that they’re attached to them

aw david

one of the reasons i love david starr is those moments where he starts freaking out and has to stop to recollect his regather his words

i like when heroes get “over” emotional and they’re still heroes and strong and it matters a lot to me, a person with too many emotions

‘alan, appreciate what you do...please leave right now

david :(

i want to say the arrows are definitely winning this but idk

i like the arrows but pretty bastards are sillier as characters

also i love that a boy named ‘maggot’ is a silly pretty boy

the son of nothing...but also beautiful

that one promo they had that was just them arguing about who was hotter was comedy gold

also remember the time ahura got a shotgun title shot just cause he obliviously walked through an outdoor smoking break and bobby got mad at him?

LOL THAT BACK BODY DROP

boys maybe you’d hit crossfire more often if you didn’t scream it every time before you do it

YAY

aw veit :3

! veit’s married? i see a wedding ring

but he is a child????

so it turns out that perhaps chromecast is only kinda garbage, and my computer is super garbage???

why is ‘keine chicks’ so funny to me

NICE

hahaha ahura’s face

AWW LOOK TISCHER IS SO PROUD OF VEIT

oh uh btw does wxw know that rammstein amerika song is about how america sucks

vinny is kind of boring as a wrestler

forearm forearm forearm forearm

that happened

nice outfit veit

david honey you talk enough that you don’t need people to pass messages for your

*david voice* i’m gonna beat walter’s son and then i’m gonna beat walter

aww this is super cute

‘guy can we chill a little bit’ awww lucky

this card for revenge looks fun

lol i have less than two days to watch it before the new york show

oh julian has his (tear away) racing suit now

I’M NOT A CAR I’M NOT A CAR

i would say that emil being crazy a dude who just really wants to get destroyed would be more interesting than old man emo, but ilja already does that excellently soooooo

i mean, it’d be less embarassing/cringey, but yeah ilja already does that and is fucking extra

pfff he was in monster consulting for barely a minute

is emil having a mid life crisis

like, his ‘i don’t give a fuck’ stuff he’s doing in the ring right now is like....not the same thing as his emo demeanor and what he’s saying in promos

i would say ‘why would marius hang out with such a sad sack’ but duhhhh it’s cause emil has a BODEY

i like leon van gasteren they should keep him around for a while

he was around for like two minutes last year

wait what? if julian wasn’t the legal man, and then he tagged....why is leon still the legal man

oh last week i was leaving the train and this one lady REEKED of coconut oil and i thought of what you guys said about emil

leon is disco happiness to combat emil’s depression

thta’s anoither weird thing about emil’s gimmick - we had an actual depression storyline so it’s hard not to think about emil as being like, actually depressed? and so i’ts like...can someone just send him to a therapist? the netherlands has national health care, right?

emil vs marius? who are we supposed to root for there?

LAX vs the crown is gonna own hometown boys better win though

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