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spencerreidsconverse · 3 years

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When Evil Doesn't Sleep

summary: Spencer has been gone far too long on a case and when he finally returns home, reader shows him just how much she missed him.

word count: 3.4k

warnings: smut, implied dom/sub undertones, pet names

Pairing: Spencer Reid/Female Reader

A/N: My first fic!!! I hope you all enjoy! <3

“Y/n I’m really sorry but it looks like the case is going to take a lot longer than we thought. We had a recent development and the profile is now pointing to a partnership so now we’re hunting down two unsubs”. You sighed as Spencer rattled off his apologies through the phone before putting him out of his misery “Spencer honey, you don’t have to apologize. Quit worrying about me and focus on catching the bad guys.”

To say you missed Spencer would be the understatement of the century. He had been in Utah for six days already and now with a pair of psychos your odds of finding him in your bed by the end of the week were growing increasingly slim. It didn’t help that you had been swamped prepping for an extra class you’d agreed to take on at Georgetown where you worked as a Criminal Psychology professor. Between both of your hectic work schedules you hadn’t had a real weekend to yourselves in a few months, and while you knew when you first started dating Spencer that it was an inevitable of his job, it had never been this crazy before. They say evil never sleeps but lately it hasn't even taken a catnap.

“I love you Y/N. I promise I’ll come home to you soon and take you out on a real date. I’m sorry darling, I have to go. I’ll text you when I get to the hotel tonight and if you’re still up we can talk for a bit okay?”. “Alright Spence, I love you too. Stay safe okay?”. “I promise, goodbye love.”

Your farewell barely made it past your lips when the dial tone cut you off and once again your boyfriend of three years vanished from your side of the country. You let out an exasperated sigh before reminding yourself that there were other people who needed his help and that you could wait for his attention - at least until that night. Continuing the trek up the stairs of your and spencer’s shared apartment, you managed to haphazardly balance your grocery bags in one hand while unlocking the door and disabling the security alarm, internally cringing at the high shriek that rattled through your brain.

Walking through the living room, you sat the bags on your kitchen counter and began reorganizing the small fridge space to fit all the perishables you had brought home, absentmindedly hoping they wouldn't spoil now that it would be just you for several more days. Moving to the cupboard you replaced the few grab and go snack boxes you had made up to try and encourage Spencer to eat more throughout the day and refilled the paper plate stash that quickly became a requirement after you realized neither one of you could tolerate doing dishes every night. You ripped open the cardboard packaging of yet another microwave dinner and set the timer before leaving to change into more comfortable attire.

Opening the door of your shared bedroom, the smell of vanilla wax melts and dryer sheets hit you like a brick and immediately sent a pang of loneliness through your chest. Spencer was usually around by the time the chores needed done, and you rarely had to do them yourself. Unfortunately, the laundry was piling up and you needed something to distract you so you spent the day running errands and cleaning the apartment more thoroughly than necessary. You walked over to the stack of black dresser drawers and pulled out the first pair of pajama pants you touched, Spencer’s old caltech sweats that now fit you far better than him considering he had received them when he was 14. They looked more like capris on him now and it was embarrassingly difficult to convince him to buy a new pair that fit him properly. You slipped on a tank top and pulled your hair back before making your way lazily to the bathroom to take off the remnants of your simple makeup.

After scrubbing your face clean and pulling your dinner out, you moved to ready the couch for yet another night of binge watching cheesy 90s movies. You selected Clueless and watched the vibrant colors pop across the screen while you dived into your meal, making a poor attempt to ignore the slight freezer burnt taste that lingered after every bite. You finished your dinner and set the bowl aside before covering yourself with a blanket and allowing yourself to sink into the cushions, desperately awaiting Spencer's text.

You were jolted out of your doze by the loud buzzing of your phone against the wooden coffee table. Clumsily you reached for it and managed to swipe the answer pad before it sent your genius to voicemail. “Hello?” you managed before a yawn ripped its way through you suddenly. “Hey Y/N, I’m sorry it’s so late. I didn't mean to wake you, I figured you’d still be up. You should go back to bed love.” For the first time, you noticed the neon green numbers on the microwave. 12:30. You stifled another yawn and shook your head in an effort to wake yourself further “No way, I just dozed off while watching a movie. I was waiting to talk to you. Besides, I’m up now anyways so you might as well stay on with me for a bit. Did you get any further today?” “Well, JJ had the idea that the partners were originally a typical dominant/submissive partnership but that something in the dynamic must have changed because the MO began to deteriorate. We think the partners must have split up now, because we’re finding similar pieces of the previous MO at separate crime scenes.”.

You processed the information he fed you slowly due to your semiconscious state but eventually you put your words in order well enough to respond. “That should be helpful though yeah? I mean, they’re used to working in a partnership so being suddenly separated from your other half so to speak would throw you off track quite a bit right?”. You could practically hear him smiling through the phone as you drew the conclusions the team had come to only a few hours prior. “Yes. We’re hoping to be able to draw them out and trap them. Play them against each other.”.”Does that mean I can stop sleeping on the couch soon?”. You heard him let out a dejected sigh - you knew he hated that you would force yourself onto the cramped couch when you had a king sized bed a few hundred feet away but he understood.

When he had come home in the early hours of the morning after an abrupt end to a case a few weeks after you had moved into his place, he had caught you curled up on the sofa with a throw pillow stuffed under your head. When he questioned you about it the next morning, you simply answered that the bed felt too big without him and that you couldn’t stand the empty feeling. “Sooner than later I hope my love. Y/N I really wish you wouldn’t do that to yourself. It’s horrible for your body. It can put you at a much higher risk for chronic back and neck pain as well as-”. “Spence. I’m not a giant like you are. I fit on the couch much better than you do, and I barely notice the difference.”. You both cringed, hearing the lie clear in your voice. Still, Spencer must have felt bad because he humored you. “If you're sure. What did you do today my love?”. You smiled sadly hearing in his voice just how desperate he was to escape from his reality and come home to you.

”Well, I straightened the house. In fact, it’s so clean i think we could use it as a sterilization room.”. He let out a soft chuckle and you could hear him begin to relax as you recounted the rest of your day, excluding the part about the microwave dinner. Spencer loved to tell you how many of the ingredients were one step away from processed garbage and you decided to opt out of the lecture for the evening. He had more than enough to worry about without having to focus on your diet while he was away. After a half hour of light conversation, a loud yawn betrayed you as you were excitedly discussing the cute puppy you had met on the way to the market. Spencer immediately requested that you hang up and get some more sleep but you refused. After a few minutes of bickering, you relented on the condition that he would read to you until you had fallen asleep. You curled up under the fluffy blanket as Spencer’s even voice recited the collection of Grimm’s fairy tales quickly lured you to sleep.

You woke up the next morning as sunlight peered through the curtains, stretching your body out to ease the aches from the previous night. You smiled softly as your screen lit up with a text from Spencer wishing you a good morning and an update that they had a solid plan for boxing in the two unsubs that afternoon. “If all goes to plan I should be carrying you to our bed before midnight tonight.”. Your smile widened and you sent back “Can’t wait to truly see you - and love you- tonight. I’ll be waiting.” You plugged your phone into the charger and straightened up from the night before when your phone went off again. The one word message glared at you from the screen and you let out an involuntary giggle. “Tease.”. You hoped it gave him something to look forward to until he was back in your arms. You sent back a simple “XO” before deciding to reread one of your favorite books for a few hours to kill some time. You made yourself a sandwich for lunch and had a few glasses of water as the clock slowly ticked by. You were over halfway through the lengthy novel when you received another message.

“We apprehended both unsubs. Hotch is postponing the paperwork until Monday so we can go straight home. I’ll see you in a few hours baby.”. You jumped slightly in celebration before finishing your current chapter, marking your place, and all but skipping to the shower to shave and exfoliate your skin. You knew Spencer would still be heavily worked up once he arrived home and luckily, his favorite release included intertwining your bodies as close as possible and loving you sweetly and slowly.

You took your time in the shower careful not to nick yourself with your razor. You scrubbed your scalp with your nails, letting your stress and soreness melt away under the steam. You waited until the water ran cold before turning the knob and stepping out, wrapping yourself in a fluffy towel and blow drying your hair until it layed perfectly even. You applied lotion all over your skin and stepped out of the bathroom to slip on your black silk robe, knowing it wouldn’t be worth it to dress up further. Spencer would be desperate to feel your skin against his and any fabric in his way didn't stand much of a chance.

You made an actual meal for dinner, a pasta dish with chicken that could be easily reheated for Spencer when he grew hungry later in the night. You helped yourself to a serving and after quickly cleaning up the kitchen and storing the leftovers, you retreated to the bedroom to wait for his return.

You were half paying attention to the feed you opted to scroll through on your phone when you heard the door creak open and bags drop to the floor. You set your phone on the bedside table and ran towards the foyer, all but throwing yourself at the exhausted man in front of you. He took a step back from the impact but still enveloped you in his arms and pulled you impossibly tight into his chest. “Hi baby.” you whispered against the scruffy skin of his jawline, peppering kisses up towards his earlobe. He let out a long sigh of relief and picked you up off the hardwood floor, wrapping your thighs around his waist resulting in a high pitched giggle to erupt from your throat. He kissed you then, slowly at first but quickly building more passionate. Your lungs were burning when he finally allowed you to pull away, opting to kiss down your neck to your collarbones and the skin of your chest that was newly exposed as your robe slipped open.

He carefully made his way back to your room, continuing his kisses back up to your shoulder, stopping only to leave marks you knew would only grow darker as time passed. At the very least he was sure to only mark you in places you could cover with little difficulty. “I missed you so much Y/N. The entire ride home all I could think about was you waiting for me in our bed. My gorgeous girl.”. You felt your chest heat up at his words of admiration, wrapping your fingers into his curls and pulling his lips towards your own once more.

You felt him groan against you and moved to quickly unbutton his shirt, slipping it down his arms and tossing it in the general direction of the hamper. He pulled you up with him then, so you were both on your knees, chest to chest as he pulled your robe fully down your back to the swell of your ass where he grasped at you through the slick fabric. You let out a whine and you pulled his belt off, undoing his jeans desperate to continue. He grinned against your neck and pushed you down so you laid flat on your back, completely exposed to him. He kissed at your stomach, making his way down to your inner thighs. He licked a slow wet trail from your pelvic bone to the top of your clit as you whimpered desperately. “Spence, please… I need more”. He humored you, creating slow small circles with his tongue moaning at the taste. You cried out as he created the perfect amount of pressure on your clit, legs threatening to close around his head when he moved to slip one of his fingers easily inside you as the mix of your own wetness and his saliva aided him. He smirked as he felt your thighs flex before using his left hand to throw one of your legs over his shoulders at a time. He pushed a second finger in, curling them up to perfectly reach your g-spot with every thrust. Soon though, you grew impatient with just his fingers. You needed more and you knew just how to get it.

“I want you so bad Spence. I’ve waited for so long and I just can’t anymore. I need to feel you deep inside of me.”. You were positive those words would leave him just as needy as you were and he proved you right when he kicked his pants the rest of the way off and went to line himself up against you. “Wait.”. He stopped immediately, examining your face for any indication of what was wrong. “What’s the matter baby? Are you okay?”. You shook your head and smiled at his concern before switching your positions so his back was resting against the pillows as you straddle his thighs. He smirked at you as he caught on, trailing his hands up the front of your legs to rest at your hips. “You gonna ride me angel?”. You responded with an eager nod and he squeezed your hips, pulling you up further so you were hovering above him. “Sit pretty like my good girl then.”. You whined softly at his words before slowly sinking yourself down around his length, sucking in a harsh breath at the stretch. Even with how wet you were, the adjustment took longer than usual due to the dry spell you were both suffering from as of late.

When you finally felt stretched out enough to move, you slowly ground your hips forward flush against his. He groaned out, lifting you back up so you were almost completely off of him before pulling you back down. You moaned both at the sensation and the idea of being manhandled by the genius below you. You realized what he was asking though, and began bouncing yourself up and down his cock, stopping every few thrusts to grind your clit down on him. You let out soft moans, and after a few more minutes you felt his fingers dig deeper into your hips and his breaths quicken. You knew he was close and as if on cue you started rubbing fast circles against your clit as he spoke again.

“Baby girl I’m getting close. You gonna cum with me angel?” You nodded furiously in response and you felt him start thrusting up to meet you. You panted as you hurried towards the edge of your orgasm, holding on until his thrusts grew sloppier. “You ready to cum with me baby? You gonna cum on my cock?” “Yeah.. gonna cum all over your cock Doc.” You fought to keep the grin off your face when he moaned at the title. He thrusted deep into you twice, before he ordered your release. “I want you to cum now baby. Cum all over my cock.” You felt your orgasm rip through you, electricity shooting through your limbs. Spencer groaned loudly as you tightened around him before pulling you down deep and releasing inside you.

You both fought to catch your breath as you rode out your highs before you found yourself slumping against his chest, suddenly drained from your activities. You felt him chuckle at your drastic change in energy as he wrapped his arms around you again. “I know you just washed the bed sheets and we’re both sweaty but do you think a washcloth will suffice for tonight?”. You nodded against his chest before slowly lifting yourself up and off of him, rolling onto your back on the other side of the bed. Spencer swiftly made his way across the hall, returning to wipe you down gently with the warm fabric. You shivered as the cool air dried your skin, watching him move throughout your room.

He slipped on a fresh pair of boxers before tossing the washcloth in the hamper along with his previously discarded clothes. He hung your robe on the back of your bedroom door then flipped the light switch off before rejoining you in bed to slip under the blankets with you. You immediately curled up into his chest, sighing contently as the sound of his heartbeat filled your ears. You kissed his chest and whispered goodnight, drifting into your first real sleep since before he left.

The next morning you and Spencer went shopping after you successfully convinced him to upgrade to a smart phone with video call abilities. He had begun to shut down the idea as he always had before but after the mere suggestion of what it could do to better your late night hotel room chats he was the one pulling you towards the nearest phone shop. You smiled politely while Spencer took his sweet time weighing the pros and cons of each model, letting your mind drift to the first time it would come in handy. As you finally neared the checkout counter, you took Spencer's hand in your own and gave it a gentle squeeze. After running his card through the machine, the salesgirl gave him the small plastic bag and wished you both a good afternoon.

As you exited the shop, you looked up at him, nudging him to get his attention “What do you think of an app controlled vibrator?”. He stared at you incredulously for a few moments, almost stopping dead in his tracks. After recovering from the initial shock at the vulgarity of your suggestion, he shook his head with a soft smirk and nudged back against you. “Tease.” he called you once more. “That’s the reason you love me right?”. He pulled you into his side, kissing you softly. “One of many Y/N. One of many.”

#spencer reid #Spencer reid/reader #spencer reid/you #Spencer reid x reader #Spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds #cm #Spencer reid smut #smut #Spencer reid x you #Spencer reid fanfiction

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spokeanthoughts · 3 years

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Waking up every day is probably the most underrated blessing that people received from God. It is not as grand as buying a new house or a car, getting a job, or opening a business, that often celebrated with warm smiles and words of appreciation. But, waking up means chances - another chance to fulfill the desires in your heart, to tick the checklist that you have planned for months, to be with your loved ones, and to be just simply beautiful you. Spending the entire day may or may not turn out well, but this is how the magic and beauty of living every day falls into - the possibilities of life.

As I entered the portal of adulthood, I have learned to appreciate simple things like hearing the sound of my alarm clock and feeling the sunlight hitting my face. Though I deeply understand that things may not always go according to plans, but I have always try to live my ordinary student life filled with love, positivity, and productivity. Let me tell you how I spent my entire day today, September 1, 2021.

I started my day unusually early because I want to set my mind on the right track of productivity on the first day of the month. Trust me, I also find it hard to battle off my sleepiness, but I need to wash away my laziness because of many tasks on my plate. I always start my mornings by opening windows and staring a couple of minutes outside. Then, I fixed my bed and did some stretching. I went downstairs to gargle, wash my face, and boil my water to drink. Afterward, I silently sat at the corner and prayed. I usually try not to talk whenever I wake up to keep silence in me; it is my way of calming my heart and easing my anxieties.

When my daily devotion ended, I started to prepare myself to attend online classes - take a bath, brush my teeth, and wear my uniform. I sat in my study area, which I never had before; I allocated a small space in my room to set up my computer, which I used to cope with the demands of academics.

I remembered that during the first months of my online classes, I tend to procrastinate my tasks with the thinking I have more free time. I also got easily frustrated due to a slow internet connection or sudden power interruption. However, when my tasks started compiling, it was a hard slap on my face that I had to be self-regulated and change my routine. I have learned to focus on the things that I can control - like my time. I used my notebook, post-its, and pen in scheduling my daily tasks. I stopped doing mental task listing because it makes me stressed. Scheduling helped me to see clearly and focus on the things that I have to do.

Then as stated in my schedule, today marked the second day of my field study deployment. I observed the MAPEH & CLE class of grade 6 students. I was exposed to a new learning environment, and I know that this would contribute to my professional growth. I was also inspired by how teachers do their job in this current set-up. After my observations, I ate lunch and washed the dishes. I often do household chores during weekdays, but I usually set my cleaning day every weekend. Then, I took a break by watching videos from YouTube, browsing my social media accounts, and chatting with my friends. Remember, taking a break is necessary, but do not drown yourself in instant gratification. Stop subscribing to the idea of “procrastinate now, cram later.” Been there, done that.

Since it is Wednesday, I only have observation classes, and I allocated my afternoon to answering the activities in my field study workbook and listed my observation notes. I normally try to be productive whenever I have asynchronous classes. When in synchronous class, I always take notes during the discussion to avoid being sleepy.

Afterward, I took a rest when I felt that my neck and back were aching. One thing that I learned in this online class is to value rest time. It does not mean delaying tasks; it is about being kinder to yourself.

I have different forms of rest - sometimes I sleep, watch series, play ukulele, write my thoughts, etc. Today, I slept until 6 pm. I helped to prepare dinner and had a "kumustahan" session with my family. I considered this moment as my favorite part of the day because I treat it as my temporary escape from academic burnout. Sharing and honoring thoughts are important to decipher feelings and feel validated.

After dinner, I prepared myself to sleep, closed the window, and fixed my bed. I always prepare my bed to sleep even if I still do tasks so that when I am sleepy, I will just lay down. I ended my day with a prayer and reflection. Self-reflection is a practice that I apply to myself recently to assess my actions and words; this would help me become a better person.

I usually spend my days as a student like these - doing routines and academics only. It seems that I have a boring life, but the little details such as I got to spend time with my family; I chatted with my friends; I watched a series; I finished a task, makes me feel that I had a good day. Living 24/7 is filled with hundreds of possibilities, but as I have read, “we can’t always control what happens to us, but we can always control how we respond.” I hope that we should always celebrate a morning with a warm smile and strong heart to move forward until the next. Let us all live our lives and not merely exist. Remember that, waking up means chances; “babangon para sa bagong simula.”

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lord-explosion-baku · 4 years

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Birthday Snoot

Shinsou x reader

Warnings: swearing, angsty thoughts, fluff

A/N: I just whipped this up for a very special person who’s having a hard time. I’m not gonna add the Taglist because I’m too TIRET.

You dragged your feet up the stairs, dreading even the thought of raising your hands to unlock your condo doors. This week had beat you up. Hell, the past few months had basically latched itself to your back and was draining you of all of your energy; a sadistic twist of it all was that it seemed that the universe enjoyed watching you suffer slowly but surely. You were looking forward to crawling in your bed and allowing your dreams to take you up and out of existence for awhile but you still had so much shit to do.

Your place was empty, a sad thought, though if you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t think you could spare an ounce enthusiasm— a fake smile, acting like everything was cool, or that you were even excited about today. It was just another day. It wasn’t like when you were a kid when you’d count the months, the days, the minutes until this day reared its head around. Often times, you’d be discussing plans with friends, maybe have a party or an outing, something, but your enthusiasm just wasn’t there. You wished it were, but it wasn’t. Will it always be like this? Just another day? If you were being honest, it wasn’t even worth dwelling on. You just had a handful of hours until it was over, and those hours were spent at your desk, working.

You brought a pen to paper and stared blankly at what was supposed to be an essay that was due Monday. What the fuck were you even supposed to be writing about? Your class syllabus was lost to a flurry of other papers jammed in your bag because you didn’t care enough to keep yourself organized or told yourself you’d do it later. If only the world stopped for you just as it seemed like it did in the past. You looked to your phone. Minutes were crawling and you had five missed calls. You felt tension rise up in your back. It was nice to know people cared, to know that people still knew you were alive, but even thinking about calling any one of them back just seemed like another chore.

Your head hit the desk. If only that were enough to knock you out, but that would suggest that you were capable of falling asleep at a decent fucking hour. You hit your head again, if only just to humor yourself and for a moment, it worked, only when you thought about having him see you like this, but of course, he had obligations. You couldn’t expect him to be here to witness your sorry parade. You didn’t even want to tell him that today was your birthday because that could just be a burden to him. He might’ve been a bigger stress ball than you.

It was funny. Thinking about his heavily lidded eyes staring at you actually did get you to be a bit drowsy and you found your eyes fluttering closed. Your lips almost formed a smile. Who needed sleeping pills or meditation when just the thought of your somniferous boyfriend could help aid you with your rest. But shit, fuck! You could not fall asleep. You had obligations.

Just as you were about to raise your head, warmth prickled at your back; large hands began rubbing circles around your shoulders. You hummed in response, easing your head on to your notebook pillow. A scoff followed.

“That doesn’t look very comfy,” he said, trimmed nails tickling you in that spot you liked.

“Hmmm,” you mustered. You weren’t agreeing nor objecting. You just didn’t have words.

His hands dragged down to your arms and he rested his head on yours, his musky aroma tickling your nose. He’d been sweating. On anyone else, that would’ve grossed you out, but you kinda liked it when he smelled like his day. He was always so hard at work, trying to better himself. He was what inspired you to do your best on most days, but today was your day and you allowed yourself the time to just… be down. How did the song go? ‘It’s my party and I can cry if I want to”?.

“Darlin’, if you stay like that, you’re gonna get a hunch in your back. I’ll still love you, but I don’t think you want to live the rest of your life as Quasimodo.”

You hummed again, this time in full agreement. You were already a garbage boi, stink man and you didn’t want to add a hunch on to that. You raised your head and Shinsou let off. You turned towards him and he cupped your face, smiling softly down at you.

“Hey there,” he said, dragging a thumb across your lips. “I missed you so much today.”

You pursed your lips. You should say something. You missed him too, you always did, but words were lost in your throat. You were tired.

“I don’t get a hello?”

You shook your head.

He dipped his head down, leveling his with yours. “Then, how ‘bout a kiss?”

Your eyes fell to his feet. You cursed yourself for being this way. You didn’t want to bring him down. Where were those fake smiles you were thinking about earlier? If you could put up a front in front of anyone, shouldn’t it be for him? He deserved your love and grace. Scratch that, he deserved so much more than you.

“I got you something.” A small square object appeared in front of you. It had wrapping paper adorned with little kittens bearing Christmas tidings all around it; similar to those pajamas you always wore. You furrowed your brows and looked up to him. “It’s a CD.”

Tears welled up in your eyes and you tried to blink them away, but it was a fruitless endeavor. He saw everything.

“Heyyy,” he cooed, kneeling down in front of you. Again, he brought his hand to your face and this time, you leaned into his warm touch. Indigo eyes searched your own. “What’s goin on, kitten? Did something happen?”

God, what was wrong with you? What were you supposed to say to him? Nothing happened. Nothing ever happens. Life was just this endless cycle of you getting up and working your ass off with little to no gratifying results and you were sick of it. And here you were with this fantastic human being who took care of you, who knew your birthday even when you didn’t tell him about it, and you couldn’t even bring yourself to say thank you?! You choked out a sob.

“Shhh shhh, it’s okay…” Shinsou wrapped his arms around you, petting your hair soothingly. With your face in his shirt, you were overwhelmed by his scent as tears rolled off onto it. He felt so nice. He felt like home. You arms creeped up to your back and you lost yourself in his embrace. This was what you needed.

“I know exactly what’s going on…”

One moment you were sitting in your chair, and the next, your legs were hoisted up, imprisoned by your boyfriend carrying you bridal style. For a moment, you felt just like a little kid, like when your parents would carry you from the living room to your bedroom when you’d fallen asleep playing a game. You parted your lips to object, looking towards your schoolwork on your desk but Shinsou wasn’t having it.

“I understand, but you have the entire weekend. You’re exhausted, babe. You need to take a breather.”

Shinsou carried you to your bed and gingerly laid you down across your sheets. Usually you’d find yourself in a similar position after wrestling around and he’d find a way to neutralize you, tossing you carelessly onto your mattress before he’d wrap you around in blankets while you cackled and squirmed underneath him, but right now, he was being sweet, gingerly kissing you on the forehead as he pulled your comforter over your chest. His nice attitude of course, didn’t stoo him from laying right on top of you, burrowing his nose into the crook of your neck.

“We were both busy today. I’m sorry we couldn’t do more.”

You didn’t expect anything from him, so even just having him here with you was enough to lift your spirits slightly. You fingers weaved through his soft purple locks, a sign to tell him that you were fine.

“We don’t have to talk about anything that’s going on if you don’t want to. Just know that I’m here for you, darlin’. And I always will be.”

You tugged on his hair, a sign that was supposed to mean, ‘I get it.’

Shinsou leaned back, brow raised. “Easy there, Godzilla. If you keep that up, I might get the wrong idea.”

You snickered and pulled the covers over your mouth. He smirked down at you and kissed your lips through the covers. You hummed and pulled them down, sticking your tongue out at him, which he took as an opportunity to to smother your face in sporadic and goofy, little pecks. You laughed and scrunched your nose up, turning your head away to avoid any further attacks, but Shinsou merely placed a tender kiss on that sensitive part of your neck.

“I love you,” he said, settling down next to you, “and I’m gonna make sure that we celebrate your birthday properly this weekend, whether you want to go out, stay in, be surprised, I’ll be ready for anything my kitten’s little heart desires. Do you understand?”

His sleepy eyes bore earnest intensity. God, how did you get to be so lucky? You nodded bashfully, embarrassed at your inward fit he had witnessed.

“I’m ready to celebrate every day with you. Whether it be your birthday or any old Thursday. Even if we both have our own shit, we’ll get through it all together. Buckle up, ‘cause you're stuck with me.”

You grinned. Really, he was stuck with you, but hell, sometimes he could be just as big of a mess you were. And you appreciated his mess. You loved him, all of him: his charm, his anxieties, you even loved when he was being a gentle sap like he was right now.

“Hitoshi?”

“Hm?”

You smacked him in the head with a pillow.

“You, monster!” He jabbed you in the rib.

You laughed and wrapped your arms and legs around him, showing off your greatest koala impression, the one he made fun of you for but secretly loved. Shinsou dragged the pillow off of his face and revealed a soft grin. Ahhh he was so stupid!

“I love you, too,” you said into his armpit.

“You better.” Shinsou sunk down deeper into the bed with you, letting out a long yawn before pulling the covers better over the both of you.

“‘Cause I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

@unboundbnha

#bnha x reader #bnha #bnha imagine #bnha reader insert #reader insert #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #mha #shinsou x reader #shinsou hitoshi x reader #hitoshi shinsou x reader #hitoshi shinsou

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justanalto · 4 years

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it’s q&a time!

tagged by the lovely @besidemethewholedamntime!

1. What is the color of your hairbrush? light blue or red, depending on whether my hair is wet or dry

2. Name a food you never eat. there isn’t much I don’t eat, but if I had to choose, a very specific melon candy that just tastes nasty.

3. Are you typically too cold or too warm? too cold! I got too used to university heating and now I’m cold all the time

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? willing myself to start my friend’s profile so I can build up my portfolio before deciding to get on Tumblr. or i was scrolling through Tumblr. i’m not sure.

5. What is your favorite candy bar? i’m pretty partial to a good kit kat bar, especially because they come in so many flavors!

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event? how do we define professional? because I’ve been to a baseball game, but i don’t know if we’d call college sports games ‘professional’.

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? one of the lyrics i was harmonizing along to absentmindedly. couldn’t tell you which song it was, though...

8. What is your favorite ice cream? mint chocolate chip!

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? tea! leftover from this morning and kind of cold unfortunately

10. Do you like your wallet? yes! i bought it at camden market when i was in London last year. it’s made completely of cork and i call it my adult wallet because i spent my college career wandering around with my wallet on a lanyard/attached to my phone case.

11. What was the last thing you ate? ....a salad

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? lol no

13. The last sporting event you watched? the super bowl, I think? after that they sort of cancelled sports

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? either cheesy or caramel. no in between.

15. Who is last person you sent a text message to? one of my friends, because we were discussing her diet coke intake

16. Ever go camping? i have! not for a long time, though.

17. Do you take vitamins? i’m trying to on a regular basis, LOL. when i do i literally have to take a whole mouthful of ‘em.

18. Do you go to church every Sunday? nope!

19. Do you have a tan? i haven’t had a proper tan since July 2018 because i spent last summer in the north of england/interning in an office environment. and now of course we’re all stuck at home

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? Chinese food, because i can guarantee it won’t make me sick!

21. Do you drink soda with a straw? it depends. is it out of a can or a cup? or a mug? where am I? if it’s a can, no, I’ll just chug it straight out. if it’s in a cup, probably. in a mug, i’m probably at home, so no again.

22. What color socks do you usually wear? white ones....

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? i live by the motto that you can speed to exactly 5 miles per hour above the speed limit.

24. What terrifies you? heights, this goddamn pandemic and turning out to be worthless

25. Look to your left, what do you see? my door with my honors college hat hanging on the doorknob

26. What chore do you hate? washing the goddamn bathtub. i HATE cleaning tile grout.

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? the Australian students I met while I was on exchange. either that or finding nemo

28. What’s your favorite soda? ginger ale. is that a soda? if not then Pepsi. I do miss vimto tho

29. Do you go into a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? usually i go in, but I can be convinced to use the drive-thru.

30. Who’s the last person you talked to? my dad. I asked him if he wanted me to make him a salad for lunch.

31. Favorite cut of beef? ribeye, probably.

32. Last song you listened to? ‘Grow As We Go’ by Ben Platt

33. Last book you read? I’ve been stuck on the same book for weeks -- “Into the Interior’ by Michelle Cliff.

34. Favorite day of the week? it’s quarantine, what are days anymore. jk i’d probably have to say either Mondays or Wednesdays, mainly because I know what day it is due to the fact that there’s new try guys content.

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards? ...no. but maybe i’ll learn to?

36. How do you like your coffee? past coffee and straight into espresso, and at that point, i take it only with the following dunkin’ syrups: thin mint, heath bar or red velvet. and then with a ton of almond milk. iced.

37. Favorite pair of shoes? either a pair of gray ankle boots I got two years ago or my black flower-patterned sneakers!

38. The time you normally go to sleep? 2-2:30ish? I’m trying.

39. The time you normally get up? 9, but whenever on the weekends.

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets for the sole reason that I’ve been awake to see the sunrise only a handful of times, one of them voluntary.

41. How many blankets on your bed? three, although I have accidentally kicked one to the floor.

42. Describe your kitchen plates. they’re round and white with a floral pattern around the edges. it’s nice and pastel, and I’m pretty sure we’ve had these plates since before I was born. there are some newer ones, but they’re kind of the same.

43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage? anyone who knows me will know that i am an ABSOLUTE lightweight. i drink like a fresher, which is to say i drink mikes, Smirnoff ices, twisted teas, angry orchard and rekorderligs (rip rekorderligs, i haven’t had them since i got back from Europe and they’re fantastic). i also like pink moscato LOL.

44. Do you play cards? not in the way of poker or blackjack? I play the kids’ games, like 21 and Big 2.

45. What color is your car? silver

46. Can you change a tire? ooh, no...although I should probably try to learn...

47. Your favorite province? Tuscany province, because Florence is literally the only place I’ve been to that’s located within a province. other than Quebec, but I really liked Florence.

48. Favorite job you’ve ever had? i’ve had maybe 3 in my life and while being a temp was enriching, i worked at a dunks for a spell and kind of found a family there! so that was nice.

49. How did you get your biggest scar? went down a hill on a scooter, wiped out and almost got hit by a truck. it’s on my ankle.

50. What did you do today that made someone else happy? ha....nothing? although I hope my family appreciates that i did the dishes.

i tag: @swifteforeverandalways @crazyrichfilipinos @peacequack @coffee-esque and anyone else that wants to do it!

#re things #tag things #besidemethewholedamntime #re catches up on her tags

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antiquecompass · 5 years

Text

So I couldn’t help myself and here’s the second part of today’s Dynamic post for The Untamed Fest

See, the thing was, Lan Sizhui was easy to love. With his soft smile and kind eyes and always smelling like fresh cotton and good things. He wasn’t arrogant, even if he had every right to be, and he quietly led by example, totally unaware that he had most of the school, the town, and generally anyone he met, wrapped around his fingers.

So no one, least of all Jingyi himself, would be surprised to find out Jingyi loved Sizhui. In fact, when he sat back and really thought about, he couldn’t remember a time in his life when he didn’t love Sizhui.

Being in love with Sizhui? Now, that was an entirely different matter.

It was hard as hell.

It was hard as hell to not lean over the table while they studied and kissed that spot on his cheek, right over his mole. It was impossible to not reach over and grab his hand as they walked, a constant anchor since they were kids, that had started to mean so much more to Jingyi as they grew older. Every single time Sizhui laughed or smiled or did anything to cause his eyes to crinkle up in joy, Jingyi had to pinch himself or bite his own tongue to not just scream, I love you I love you I love you, over and over again.

His parents had been absolutely no help when he went to them with his problem. He should’ve seen that coming considering who they were--the most flighty of artists who raised him to believe in things like, truth, valor, true love, soul mates, and romance. They were loving parents, but also absent, as they spent more time traveling the world in pursuit of finding their bliss and following nature’s true beauty or whatever other bullshit they’d decided on that month to justify their traveling of the world. And even though they’d left Jingyi behind (granted with the family to be raised in a normal, stable, childhood), they always answered his calls.

When he’d called them with this problem, his father had sighed dreamily into the phone about young love while his mother told him how much she’d always liked Sizhui. So, no help there.

Great Uncle Lan was an option Jingyi refused to even think about. The man would probably give him a detention for daring to have emotions.

Headmaster Lan, Cousin Xichen, would be kind and understanding and offer him some sort of baked good that he’d tried to make on his own, but would in fact taste like concrete, because Cousin Xichen was a disaster in the kitchen. And the laundry room. And a menace in general to household chores, even though he really, really tried. So Jingyi would probably go over there for advice, end up eating a brownie made with salt instead of sugar, and fixing Xichen’s dishwasher. Again. For the fifth time. All without actually getting any helpful advice besides a pat on his shoulder and an assurance that he was a good kid.

Auntie Molly, proudly named after Molly Brown and the breaking of over a couple centuries of family naming traditions, was the one currently boarding him during his parents latest adventure. She was one of the more unique Lans. Free-spirited. Communed with nature type. Claimed she could talk to ghosts and see past lives, and Jingyi would call bullshit, but the woman had a talent for guessing the lotto numbers right. She never played, because she claimed it would be unethical, and besides Lans didn’t gamble, but she hadn’t been wrong yet. She’d probably take his hand and try to predict his future and Jingyi didn’t want to know yet if Fate wanted to fuck him over or throw him a gimme, so she was a hard pass.

There was one solution. Perhaps obvious, but so, so awkward.

So with no other viable options, it was time for Jingyi to undertake Mission Ask My Best Friend’s Father If He Thinks I Have Even An Iota Of A Chance In Dating His Son.

************

“Jingyi, is that a golf cart?”

Jingyi turned from the entrance of the Lan-Wei greenhouse, where his teacher, his best friend’s father, who was also his pseudo-cousin, stood with a garden apron covered in flying pigs over his clothes and lime green work gloves on his hands.

None of his fellow students would ever believe how relaxed their exalted Hanguang-Jun was in the confines of his own home. Jingyi had seen him in bunny slippers. Multiple times.

“Jingyi?” Cousin Zhan asked.

“Yes,” Jingyi said, turning back from the golf cart he’d parked in the driveway. “Well, you know, I can’t drive a real car yet, and I wasn’t going to skate or bike here, and my dirtbike is still recovering from Zizhen’s attempt to ride it. So, I borrowed Aunt Molly’s golf cart.”

“And they let you out of the neighborhood with that?

“Me and Officer Shelton have an understanding,” Jingyi said.

Cousin Zhan had that look on his face that meant he was debating if he needed to give Jingyi a punishment for whatever he’d done this time. He finally shrugged.

“Not your circus, not your monkeys?” Jingyi asked.

Cousin Zhan nodded before returning his greenhouse. “I assume you know Sizhui is with his cousins in Boston for the weekend.”

“Yes. I actually, I came here to see you, Sir--Teacher--Mister--Cousin.”

A clatter of garden shears and a broken pot made Jingyi wince as Lan Zhan turned back to him, eyes wide and face almost stunned.

“Is it happening?” he asked.

“Uh,” Jingyi looked around for anyone who might be of help if he was about to be killed with a rake. “Is what happening?”

“Are you not here to ask if you can date Sizhui?”

“How do you know that!”

Jingyi only yelled loud enough to startle the crows in the garden. Hopefully Sizhui’s dad didn’t hear him, locked up in his tower working, or else he’d never live it down.

************

A warm cup of tea and a plate of gingersnaps were set down in front of Jingyi. He didn’t like gingersnaps or fruity teas, but all of the Elder Lans tended to default to them when it came to comfort food. Or when they thought someone needed to be calmed down.

“I’m sorry I yelled,” Jingyi said as he put a sugar cube in his tea under his cousin’s judging eyes.

“I’m sorry I startled you,” he said.

The flying pig apron and green garden gloves were gone to leave a man in worn jeans and an old Vanessa-Mae t-shirt. He looked far less intimidating now. More like the family member who had hugged Jingyi and rocked him back to sleep the first time his parents had dropped him off before going to see the world. He was the adult who always took him to the dentists and the doctors and tried to include him in as many family events as possible, even now when it was obvious he knew how Jingyi’s feelings had started to change towards his one, and only, child.

“I do want to date Sizhui,” Jingyi said, the words starting to tumble out of his mouth under those trusting eyes. “And I know it’s up to him, how he feels, that it’s his decision. That he’d respect what you and Mr. Lan-Wei would feel, but in the end would follow his own heart. He’s fair like that. And I don’t know, maybe part of me came here in the hopes you’d talk me out of it, because, l, honestly, Cousin, I’m fucking terrified.”

“I know,” he said. Warm fingers patted Jingyi’s wrist. “It’s a leap of faith, even when you’re in love with someone you know and trust. That fear lives in you, the doubt, that maybe you’re not good enough for them, or exciting enough to hold their attention, or that they’ll move on from you, getting tired of waiting.”

That all sounded pretty damn familiar.

“But Jingyi, you also have to remember who Sizhui is.”

Kind. Caring. Trustworthy. Gentle. Determined. Stubborn. Defiant when he felt he was right and someone else was wrong. Quietly sarcastic in a way few got to hear. And while polite and willing to listen, would never bend from the beliefs he held true to himself.

“I think it’d break my heart even more if he lets me down all gentle and nice. Because, like, I couldn’t even be hurt. I shouldn’t be anyway because his feelings are his feelings and they’re valid, but I’m like a little moth flitting around and he’s the friggin’ moon.”

“Then perhaps you need to fly higher,” Lan Zhan said with the small quirk of a smile. “Is he worth trying for? Even with the risk of failure?”

“How is that even a question?” Jingyi asked.

“Then you have your answer,” he said.

“Right,” Jingyi said. “Right. I do. I can do this.” He looked down at his hands. “A timeline. I need a due date. Halloween? No, that’s his dad’s birthday, that would be awkward. The 21st. I’ll ask him out on the 21st.”

His cousin looked seconds away from laughing at him, but he just lifted his own cup of tea and took a sip.

“The 21st,” Jingyi repeated. “I can do this.”

#long post #verse: lahl #fic: tales from lan academy #fandom: the untamed #my ridic writing

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lastbluetardis · 5 years

Text

Family of Six (4/14)

After James and Rose bring their newborn twins home, they work to find a balance between all four of their children, and each other. Ten x Rose AU, Soulmates AU.

This chapter: Explicit, 8500 words

Ages of the Tyler-McCrimmons at the start of the chapter: James: 39, Rose: 33, Ainsley: 9, Sianin: 5, Twins: 2 weeks

If you like reading my stories, consider leaving me a tip? Or leave a reply on this post to tell me what you thought? And as always, reblogs are very much appreciated so more people can see this.

Chapters will be posted every other week — next update: August 20th

AO3 | TSP | FF | Perfectly Matched Series

Ch1 | Ch2 | Ch3 | Ch4 | Ch5 | Ch6 | Ch7 | Ch8 | Ch9 | Ch10 | Ch11 | Ch12 | Ch13 | Ch14

The family settled into a routine almost seamlessly. Rose loved that James was able to take so much time off to help with their kids; it created one less stressor in their life, knowing that he wasn’t on a strict schedule to get to work on time.

More often than not, they were already awake and caring for the twins by the time Ainsley and Sianin needed to be up for school. Sometimes they both would get their eldest children ready in the morning, and sometimes they would trade off who did it, allowing the other to get a little more rest.

“Am I so sleep-deprived that I’ve passed the point of being tired and am now in a state of false-awakeness instead?” Rose asked one morning as she finished changing the twins.

“Probably.” The dark circles of exhaustion under James’s eyes were just as deep as hers.

“I don’t remember feeling this good after Ainsley or Sianin,” Rose said. “Babies are hard, so twins should be harder. But these two… they’re so easy.”

“Oi, don’t jinx it!” After a beat, he said, “I don’t think we can accurately compare Hannah and Maddie to Ainsley or Sianin’s infancy. Ainsley was our first, so there was a huge learning curve. Everything was brand-new and scary and we had to figure out this whole new world of parenthood. And then after Sianin was born… neither of us was in a good mental place, which did us no favors.”

“Either way, I feel amazing, James,” she said. “I’m not sad or angry or negative. And best of all, my lady bits don’t hurt anymore! Which is weird—I’d expected to be sore for longer since I pushed out two babies. But it’s like my vag is all back to normal.”

He smiled at her, the expression warming her to her very core.

“I’m very glad to hear that,” he said, stepping up to press a kiss to her cheek. “All of it.”

She turned her head and caught his lips head-on. He was still grinning, making her smile too, thus turning the kiss into more of a lip press instead. Nevertheless, she enjoyed it and draped her arms around his shoulders, holding her husband close to her. God, she loved him.

“Can I do the school run today?” she murmured, pecking short kisses across his lips.

“If you want,” he answered, trying to reciprocate her kisses.

“I do. I’d like to get out of the house for a bit.”

“Then the shower is all yours,” he said, pulling back. He gestured to their bathroom, bowing theatrically.

“You nutter,” she said, rolling her eyes.

He beamed and waggled his eyebrows, then exited their bedroom to attend to Ainsley and Sianin.

In the time it took Rose to shower and dress, James got their eldest children ready for school. They had their uniform and shoes on, and were finishing up their cereal when she stepped into the kitchen.

Rose found that she enjoyed the school run more than usual ever since the twins were born. She relished that she could be alone with Ainsley and Sianin without listening for the sounds of a distressed baby.

During the car ride, Ainsley and Sianin prattled on about school and their friends.

“William’s mums are having another baby!” Ainsley squealed.

“That’s exciting,” Rose commented, smiling at her daughter through the rearview mirror.

“Yeah! William said it’s due in August, I think,” Ainsley said. “He’s hoping for a little sister this time; his brother wants another brother.”

“Um, his mummies are both girls. How are they having a baby?” Sianin asked blankly.

“Someone else is pregnant and having the baby for them,” Ainsley answered. Then her expression turned thoughtful. “Though I suppose they could’ve used a sperm donor or something, right Mum?”

“Some people choose adoption or surrogacy instead of carrying out a pregnancy themselves,” Rose said. “It’s their own personal decision. No matter how it happens, it’s exciting that William’s family is growing, just like ours did.”

“Hope they don’t get twins,” Sianin muttered under her breath.

“Shut up, Hannah and Maddie are great!”

“Don’t tell her to shut up, Ains. She has every right to her opinion as you do.”

Sianin stuck her tongue out at her sister.

The kids stopped bickering when Rose reminded them of the party that weekend for Sianin’s birthday. They were eager to see their extended family, and Sianin was excited to have some of her friends over.

Finally, Rose parked in front of the school and stepped out with her daughters. She scooped them in for a hug and kiss, then watched them for as long as was polite before driving away and letting the lengthening queue of parents drop their kids off.

“Want a coffee?” Rose wrote on her wrist when she pulled into the car park of a nearby café.

She dawdled, collecting her purse slowly to give James enough time to see her message and reply. As she stepped into the shop and joined the short line of people, he’d written back. I just made a pot. Thanks though xoxo.

“Bummer. Next time. I’ll be home in twenty.”

“Ma’am, can I help you?”

Rose glanced up and saw she was next. “Sorry. Can I have a vanilla latte? And a blueberry muffin? Thanks.”

She got her order, then went back to her car, where she ate her muffin and drank half her latte on the drive home.

The house was quiet when she arrived. She slipped her shoes off by the front door, then dumped her keys into the dish before heading towards the kitchen. She peered into the living room as she passed; Hannah was fast asleep in her cot. The other was empty, but when she entered the kitchen, she saw Maddie safely ensconced in her father’s arms.

Rose’s heart tripped through a few beats as she observed her husband. He was shirtless and facing away from her. She watched the muscles of his back flex as he loaded the dishwasher one-handedly. His other arm was wrapped snugly around their baby, who had her face tucked into James’s neck. His pajama bottoms were slung low on his hips, giving her a tantalizing view of the dimples at the bottom of his spine.

“There’s a proper way and an improper way to load the dishwasher.” James’s voice was quiet and soothing as he spoke to their baby. “Because if you throw it all in, willy-nilly, you won’t fit as much in there. But if you pack everything in nice and tight, you can get through all the dirty dishes in one go. It’s like a game of Tetris.”

“Starting ‘em young with the chores, are we?” Rose asked, sauntering into the kitchen.

James straightened, turned, and then beamed.

“Well, it’s never too early to start teaching responsibility,” he said. “Maddie has been such a big helper. Haven’t you, darling? Haven’t you been Daddy’s great big helper?”

Maddie let out a snort and a sigh before settling back into his arms. James brushed a kiss to the baby’s forehead.

“How were they?” Rose asked, stepping up to James. She draped an arm around his hips and rested her cheek against his shoulder to better look at Maddie. Pathetic though it was, Rose could spend hours simply watching her beautiful baby do nothing more than sleep. Moments like this left her in awe that she and James created an entire human being together. Four entire human beings, no less.

“Wonderful,” James said. “Miss Maddie hasn’t made a peep. But I felt bad because I spent twenty minutes holding Hannah when she fussed while trying to take a poo, so after Hannah fell asleep, Maddie and I came in here to clean up from breakfast.”

Rose frowned at her sleeping daughter. She raised a hand and rubbed it up and down Maddie’s back. The baby wriggled a bit and turned her head until the opposite cheek was pressed to James’s shoulder.

“She doesn’t cry,” Rose murmured, feathering her fingers through the downy hair on Maddie’s head.

“Sure she does.”

“Not really. She whimpers a bit. But she very rarely goes into a proper wailing fit,” Rose said. “And if she does, she quiets quickly ‘cos more often than not, she just wants to be held.”

James’s brows furrowed. “Don’t most parents rejoice that their newborn is quiet?”

Rose shrugged. “I don’t want there to be anything wrong with her, is all. I mean… she looks healthy, and she’s eating and weeing and pooing. But I dunno. She’s really calm for a newborn.”

“We can bring it up at their one-month appointment,” James said. “Or we can schedule something sooner if she starts presenting worrying symptoms. You’re not worried, are you? Or have some sort of mother’s intuition that something’s wrong?”

“No, no,” Rose assured. “It’s just… odd. As I said this morning, I thought having twins would be exhausting and difficult. But really, it’s no more difficult than if we’d only had one.”

James nodded and leaned over to peck a kiss to Rose’s forehead. She reached up and cupped the back of his neck to hold him in place for a proper kiss.

But a moment later, they caught the unmistakable scent of a dirty nappy.

“I’ll change her,” Rose said, watching the baby’s face scrunch and relax.

When it appeared as though Maddie was finished, Rose took her from James, being careful not to squish the baby’s bum and smear around whatever happened to be inside the nappy.

She got the baby cleaned and changed in minutes, then after a few cuddles and kisses and proclamations of her undying love, Rose walked back to the living room and set the baby in her bassinet. She draped a blanket over her daughter, then checked on her other baby. After popping the fallen dummy back into Hannah’s mouth, she joined James in the kitchen.

He was standing at the sink, staring out the window as he finished up his coffee.

Rose stepped up behind him and wrapped her arms around his middle, tucking her face into his back. He dropped a hand and covered hers, stroking the curve of her wrist with his thumb.

First kissing the mole centered between his shoulder blades, Rose trailed her lips in long, slow lines across the planes of his back.

“I approve of your decision to not wear a shirt,” she mumbled into his skin. Her mouth hopped from freckle to freckle, dotting each one with a kiss. “You should go shirtless more often.”

“I aim to please.” He gulped down the remainder of his coffee then set the mug in the sink before spinning in her arms. Rose dropped her arms from around him, but stayed close in his personal space. “Though really, I was just about to hop in the shower when Hannah started crying.”

“You should’ve said you were trying to impress me,” Rose said dryly.

“Why should I have to do that? I know how impressive I am. And so do you.” He waggled his eyebrows at her.

Rose rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help but sneak a peek at him. His broad chest. His subtly-sculpted shoulders and pecs. His undefined yet firm abdomen. The way his hip bones jutted up from beneath the waistband of his pajama bottoms. He was the most beautiful man she’d ever seen.

James noticed her wandering gaze and had an insufferably smug smirk on his face.

“Well,” Rose drawled, “I suppose you’re perfectly adequate.”

“Perfectly adequate, my arse.”

“Your arse is also perfectly adequate,” Rose said, reaching down to pinch it lightly.

He squeaked and jumped.

“What’s gotten into you this morning?” James asked, his eyes wide. “Not that I’m complaining. Far from it.”

“I told you. You look sexy without a shirt on.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed for a second and his eyes darted down to her mouth. She reached out and rested her hands at his waist, caressing her thumbs across his hipbones, then trailed her fingertips up his ribs until her hands rested on his chest. His heart thumped solidly beneath her palm. Goosebumps prickled across his skin and puckered his nipples.

He, meanwhile, placed his hands at her lower back and kept them there. His pupils were slightly dilated and his tongue darted out to moisten his lips. The overhead lights shone invitingly against his bottom lip, and she bit hers in response. His gaze dropped to her mouth.

“Rose,” he croaked. The rawness of his voice sent a shiver down her spine.

“Just admiring the view.” She slid her hands farther up his chest until she could grip the tops of his shoulders, then she tugged him down.

His breath escaped him in a sigh when their lips met. It was a soft, sweet thing, but nevertheless, it sent butterflies through Rose’s stomach. She cradled James’s cheek in her hand; the muscles of his jaw flexed ever so slightly as his mouth parted and closed with the familiar catch-and-release rhythm of his kisses.

When her tongue darted out to trace across his bottom lip, his mouth fell open in invitation. He hummed when she slid her tongue against his, then curled it to flick against the roof of his mouth and the backs of his teeth.

He allowed her to control the kiss, to set and keep the pace. She kept one hand to James’s face and let the other skate down his chest and belly to brush curiously against the front of his pajama bottoms. He was half hard and his hips twitched minutely. Reading his cue, she opened her palm and rested it against his burgeoning erection.

“Want me to…?” she asked, caressing her thumb absently against him through his pajama bottoms.

“Only if you want to,” he replied, slightly breathless. “If not, I can take care of it in the shower.”

“And deprive me of the opportunity to touch my husband? Don’t you dare.”

He snorted out a laugh, but it died on a groan when she wrapped her hand around his clothed erection. She coupled gentle squeezes with nips to his bottom lip, gradually working him up until he was fully hard. His erection poked his pajama bottoms out cartoonishly, and Rose smiled to herself as she readjusted him. She guided his cock to point up at his belly, and she slipped his trousers down an inch, just low enough that the head barely peeked out of the waistband.

She circled her fingertip across the bright red tip of him, watching a bead of moisture well up then drip down, soaking into the fabric of the waistband.

“Having fun?” he rasped.

“Of course.” She grinned at him.

“Bed- bedroom?”

“Not necessary. We’re alone. Last I looked, two-week-old babies are fairly sedentary, so there’s no fear of them walking in on us. And they have no idea what sex is—or anything, for that matter—so you don’t need to concern yourself with being quiet. Well, unless you wake them up. Would be a shame if we had to stop in the middle of this, eh?”

James rolled his eyes at her and arched his hips impatiently into her hand, which was still tracing tiny circles around the head of his erection just to coax more beads of moisture from the tip.

“Please?” he asked. “Can you touch me? Properly?”

She nodded and made one final teasing circle before tugging his pajama bottoms down his slim hips, freeing his erection.

“Been forever since we fooled around in the middle of the house,” James said, watching her wrap her hand around his length and give him a slow pump. His eyes were dark and ravenous; the expression made Rose lament that she couldn’t join in the activity they were about to partake in.

“It’s got kind of a naughty feel to it,” Rose agreed. She slid her hand up his cock, then brushed her thumb across the tip of him. She worked the slippery wetness down his erection until the bite of dry friction was nonexistent.

“Feels good,” James murmured, thrusting lightly into her hand but making no indication for her to hurry up.

“Good. I like making you feel good. I haven’t gotten to touch you since the babies were born—I’ve missed it.”

“Me either,” he whispered. “Wait. I meant me. I haven’t touched myself since they’ve been born either. Obviously I can’t touch you yet.”

“Seriously? You haven’t had a wank in over two weeks?”

“Haven’t had much time lately. Or been in the mood, really.”

“So… what? The last time was when you and I fooled around a bit after you gave me a foot massage?”

“Mhm.” James sucked in a sharp breath when Rose gave him a long, slow squeeze on the upstroke. “God, Rose.”

She bit her lip around a smile, but kept up the steady rhythm of her hand.

“I love you,” she said, stepping closer to catch his lips in a kiss.

His mouth was frenzied against hers, belying how worked up he was. His lips tugged and pulled at hers, restlessly moving between her lower and upper lip. His tongue eventually came into play, gliding against hers too quickly to have much finesse to it.

Rose sped up her hand for a few strokes before slowing back down. A low, whining groan rumbled from his throat.

“Rose.”

“James,” she parroted.

“Tease,” he huffed.

“Tell me you’re not enjoying this.”

“I’m very much enjoying this. I always enjoy it. Feels so fucking good, love.”

His use of profanity sent delightful tingles through her. Rose pecked a kiss to his lips before she trailed her mouth down his jaw. She scraped her teeth across it, then licked it, enjoying the scratch of his day-old stubble against her tongue.

For several long minutes, she kept up the torturous rhythm of her hand, alternating between long, languorous strokes and short, quick ones. She delighted in the hitch of his breath that always accompanied the change in tempo.

Her other hand was busy touching any other part of him she could reach. It meandered up and down his chest, her fingernails scraping through the fine hairs on his chest and belly. She paid attention to his nipples, flicking and pinching and scratching at them to pull delicious grunts from him.

When she’d given his upper body a thorough tease, she let her hand wander further south. He grumbled when her hand didn’t join its partner on his cock, but rather it dipped lower to trace his inner thigh. His legs were tense and trembling as she traced the seam where his thigh joined his hip. He exhaled raggedly when her hand finally skated across the underside of his cock to cradle his balls in her palm.

“Fuck,” he panted as she massaged them gently. When she once again slowed the motion of her hand on his erection, he rasped, “Please. Please, Rose.”

Rose nodded and pressed a hard, quick kiss to the corner of his mouth. He was too far gone to reciprocate.

“Just a sec,” she said, releasing him with both hands.

His cock bobbed and twitched. James let out a pathetic whimper and wrenched open his eyes; they were dark and glazed over. Rose grabbed a dish towel that had been tossed haphazardly onto the counter, then returned to her husband.

His eyes fluttered shut again when she took him in hand and built him back up. His hips undulated with her rhythm, so Rose adjusted her motions to work with him, pumping him harder and faster with every stroke. This time she didn’t slow her hand.

“Rose,” he gasped urgently, “I’m gonna… I’m… oh, fuck…”

Goosebumps prickled out across Rose’s skin, fifteen and a half years of experience having conditioned her that her pleasure would come with his. Her gut tightened deliciously as he started to moan, first deeply then higher-pitched as his face pinched into an expression of pure rapture. His hands shot out to grab the edge of the sink for balance, and his head tipped back as he sucked in a sharp breath.

Positioning the towel at the head of his flushed cock, Rose pumped him with purpose. She rotated her wrist on the upstroke as she counted down in her head.

Three… two… one…

James let out a cry of relief that weakened Rose’s knees as he spurted messily into the towel. She worked him through it, timing her squeezing upstroke with each pulse of his cock, delighting in his grunts and heavy breathing.

Must have been a good one, Rose thought as he continued throbbing in her hand, his hips jerking forward every few seconds. He was beautiful as he stood there, face blank, mouth hanging open as panting moans escaped him. A dull ache of desire coiled low in Rose’s belly, but she pushed it aside.

“Oh, God,” he croaked when he was finally spent.

She could feel him softening and stroked him one last time. He sighed, his hips jumping, then she released him.

“I take it that was good?” Rose teased, knowing damn well it was.

When he eventually opened his eyes, they had a dazed, sleepy look about them, and he grinned.

Rose returned the expression, then folded up the soiled towel, discreetly wiped her hands clean, and set it on the counter. She stepped up to James and pulled his pajama bottoms up his hips, careful not to snag his softening cock.

She enveloped him in a hug, one that he eagerly reciprocated. He tucked his face into her neck and inhaled deeply, holding her so tightly it sent warmth thudding through her with every heartbeat; she loved their post-coital cuddles and this one was no different, no matter that they were standing.

“Thank you,” he whispered. He brought his hand up to comb his fingers through her hair, then he cradled the back of her head as his lips descended on hers. The kiss was reverent and knee-wobblingly gentle. “I love you.” He kissed her again. “That was incredible. If not orgasming in over two weeks makes it feel like that, I should abstain more often.”

“Only for the next few weeks. Once I’m cleared for sex, you’d better not hold out on me, mister.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he murmured, swaying them lightly. “When you’re ready to make love, I’m going to repay that delightful orgasm tenfold.”

“I don’t think you could possibly make me come ten times,” Rose said dryly.

“Is that a challenge?”

Rose rolled her eyes. “As much as I love when you make me come multiple times, I think I would pass out if you made it to ten. Or at the very least have some uncomfortable chafing.”

“Our record is seven,” James said. “Surely it’s not that unfeasible to get you to ten.”

“That record was before we had kids,” Rose reminded. “We literally spent hours and hours in bed.”

“If my memory serves me correctly—which it does, ‘cos I’m brilliant—it was in the kitchen, on the couch, against a wall, then in bed,” he said, pulling back to smile down at her.

“Is that supposed to impress me?”

“Are you not impressed?” He pouted. “If you’d like, I could regale you with the exact number of orgasms you’ve had. You, Rose Tyler-McCrimmon, have had…” His tongue pressed distractingly to the backs of his teeth as he thought. “…Four-thousand nine-hundred and fourteen orgasms with yours truly.”

Rose blinked, her attention finally broken away from his tongue. “What, seriously?”

James winked roguishly at her, exuding a haughty air for a few extended seconds, before a sheepish smile stole over his face. “Nah, I just did some quick guesstimating. We’ve been sexually active for fifteen years and eight months. If you assume we make love three times a week—which is quite low for some weeks, but then there were others where we didn’t at all so it probably evens out—and that you orgasm at least twice whenever we have sex—again, this is quite low for some sessions—then that gets us to four-thousand nine-hundred and fourteen. And that’s a very conservative estimate. I’m sure we must have crossed the threshold of five-thousand by now.”

Rose cackled and lifted up onto her tiptoes to press a kiss to her husband’s lips.

“Oh, you absolute utter nutter!”

He hummed happily. “I’m your absolute utter nutter.”

“D’you know what?” she asked conspiratorially. His eyes twinkled as he awaited her response. “That quick mental maths you just did is much more impressive than if you’d actually been keeping count all these years.”

He grinned at her, then hauled her in for another kiss.

oOoOo

Later that night, Rose lounged in Ainsley’s bed beside her daughter while James sat at the foot of the bed, absently playing with Rose’s feet. They tried to make sure Ainsley read aloud to them each night, and while usually they traded off the job, sometimes they both wanted to listen to the story. That was the case this night, as they were part way through Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, and James and Rose enjoyed the opportunity for a reread of the series.

James sat back against the wall and massaged his thumbs into Rose’s instep as he listened to Ainsley narrate Harry and Ron’s misadventure into the Whomping Willow.

Ainsley was a good reader. Her vocabulary was strong and she had an excellent grasp on the grammar and fluidity of language, but tonight her voice was a little flat and she kept tripping over her words.

James caught Rose’s eye and saw she’d noticed too. When the chapter came to an end, before he could say anything, Ainsley asked, “Can we stop there tonight?”

“Of course, darling,” James said. “Is anything the matter?”

“I guess I’m just not in the mood to read.”

“Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?” Rose asked, moving to wrap her arm around Ainsley’s shoulders.

“Why would something be bothering me?” she snapped, flinching away from Rose.

James was taken aback, and judging from Rose’s slackened jaw, so was she. Before he could reprimand his daughter for her behavior, Ainsley mumbled, “Sorry.”

“You can always talk to me,” Rose said, wringing her hands in her lap as though she didn’t know what to do with them. “Or to your dad.”

“I know,” Ainsley said.

James bit his lip and tentatively rested his hand on the blanket covering Ainsley’s foot. She didn’t pull away. “Is it about the twins?”

Ainsley wrinkled her nose. “What? No. Why?”

“Well, it’s been you and Sianin for a long time, and now there are two babies in the house,” James said carefully. “It’s a lot to adjust to. Mum and I won’t be upset if you’re upset about them.”

“No, they’re fine,” Ainsley said firmly. “I love having them here.”

James’s shoulders relaxed and he squeezed her foot. “Do you want me and Mum to leave you alone for the night?”

Ainsley glanced over at Rose, then at James, and shook her head. “Can I have a hug?”

“Of course, love,” Rose said, tugging Ainsley in for the hug their daughter had rejected mere moments ago. “I’m sorry you’re feeling out of sorts tonight. Is there anything we can do?”

She shrugged and nestled closer to Rose’s chest. James was at a loss, so he continued petting Ainsley’s feet through the blankets.

“Can I ask you something?” Ainsley’s voice was muffled by Rose’s shirt.

“Always.”

“Did you… I mean… This might sound stupid,” Ainsley admitted.

“Impossible,” James assured her. “There’s no such thing as a stupid question.”

“Yes, there is,” Ainsley said dryly, cracking a small smile. It slipped as she said, “When you realized you were soulmated, did you feel… trapped?”

James squinted at his wife. Her expression mirrored his.

“What do you mean?” James asked.

“Like… one day you were going about your business, then the next, the universe decided you were suddenly matched with another human being and tied to them. Forever. Was that… scary? Overwhelming?”

James’s brain worked fast to try and figure out where her question was coming from. For as long as she’d understood the concept of soulmates, Ainsley had longed for one of her own. Had she been soulmated and now felt differently about it?

“For me, it was an exciting day to realize the universe had given me a forever friend,” Rose said, her voice slow and cautious as she, too, tried to figure out what had prompted their daughter’s question.

“Same,” James agreed.

“Yeah, but later, when the excitement had worn off. Did it feel like your choice had been taken from you? Like… you have a soulmate. And you’re stuck with them. You had no input whatsoever about who you’d fall in love with and marry and have kids with.”

“I guess a little bit,” Rose answered, and James thought all of the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. Before his panic could thoroughly suffocate him, Rose continued, “Though my main fear was actually a bit of the opposite. I was worried that my soulmate wouldn’t want to be stuck with me for eternity.”

The air had returned to James’s lungs, though his chest was still a bit tight. He reached over and squeezed Rose’s foot. She flashed him a small smile before returning her attention to Ainsley.

“Being soulmated didn’t necessarily take away my decision to fall in love, though,” Rose said. “I was five when I realized I was soulmated. I knew what love was, but I didn’t truly understand the scale of it. Your dad and I started out as friends, then as we got older, our feelings evolved. Do you know what platonic love is?”

“Love between friends?” Ainsley asked.

“Exactly. Our love started platonically, then grew into romantic love when we were older because that’s what we both wanted. But there are some soulmates who remain best friends, and that works for them.”

“For my part, I was a hopeless romantic,” James admitted, earning him a giggle from his daughter. “But you must understand, I had soulmated parents who were very much in love, and I decided at a young age that that’s what I wanted as well. When I met your mother, she became my best friend overnight. I loved her deeply and knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Our love grew as we did.”

“Where are these questions coming from? Have you… been soulmated?” Rose asked carefully.

Ainsley sighed heavily. “No. But my friend Teddy is. Just today, it happened. And he was acting all dramatic and unhappy, whining about being stuck with a girl his whole life. He was being kind of stupid about it all, and talked about his soulmate really rudely. But it got me wondering if other people were upset when they found out they were soulmated.”

“I’m sure some people feel like their choice is being taken away from them, while others are happy about it,” James said.

“It’s not fair,” Ainsley lamented. “That Teddy has a soulmate but doesn’t want one.”

“I know,” Rose said, kissing the top of Ainsley’s head.

They all became quiet for a minute, until Ainsley asked, “Do you ever get bored? I mean, you’ve been together for decades.”

“Oi, you make us sound ancient,” James whined.

Ainsley laughed. “I just meant that you know everything about each other. Doesn’t it get boring?”

“Well, we have four kids to spice up our lives.”

“Gee, thanks,” Rose muttered.

James cringed as he realized how that sounded. “I didn’t mean it like that. Obviously if we didn’t have kids, I’d still be as in love with your mum as ever.”

“Why don’t you do date nights anymore?” Ainsley asked curiously.

James frowned.

“I could sometimes hear you in the living room watching a film or having dinner or something,” Ainsley explained. Then her cheeks turned pink. “Or… erm… later, in your room.”

James’s face went hot.

“Or Sianin and I would have a sleepover at Grandad’s house so you could go out. But you haven’t done that in ages.”

“The twins have us pretty busy right now,” Rose said. “We’re tired at night, so we don’t usually do anything fancy. But remember, your dad is on paternity leave so we get to spend the entire day together.”

“Oh. So you and Dad are… okay?” Ainsley asked, glancing between the two of them.

“We’re wonderful,” James promised. “Would you like us to snog right now as proof?”

Rose kicked him half-heartedly as Ainsley shrieked, “Ew! No!” James giggled. “Well. Rather that than overhearing you in your bedroom.”

Once again, James’s cheeks flamed.

“I haven’t heard… erm… that in a while either,” Ainsley said awkwardly. “Not that I’m complaining. But… just…”

“Sweetheart, why are you so concerned about me and your dad?” Rose asked, her voice impossibly soft and tinged with sadness. “Have we done or said something…?”

Ainsley shrugged and strangled the corner of her blanket between her hands. “My friend’s parents are getting divorced. She’s really upset about it ‘cos she didn’t know anything was wrong between her mum and dad.”

“Sometimes mums and dads are better apart than they are together,” Rose said gently, giving Ainsley a tight squeeze. “A spouse or romantic partner should make you into the best version of yourself you can possibly be. You dad brings out the best in me, and he makes me want to be better. He makes me the happiest I’ve ever been.

“But sometimes all of that just… stops. And it’s nobody’s fault. But it’s good for people to recognize that the situation they’re in isn’t healthy anymore, and it’s best if they go their separate ways.”

“Can a divorce happen between soulmated people?” Ainsley asked, glancing between her parents.

“I’m sure there are cases of it,” James answered. Ainsley deflated and he hastened to add, “But that’s not gonna happen between me and your mum.”

“How can you be sure?” she pressed.

“I… well…” James floundered for a response that wasn’t “because I know”.

Rose, seeing him struggling, touched Ainsley’s cheek to get her attention. “I suppose nobody can say anything with absolute certainty. However, I can promise you right now that I have absolutely no intention of leaving your dad, and I have a very difficult time imagining ever wanting to. I fall more in love with him every day and love that I’m married to him.”

“The same for me,” James said, his voice a little hoarse. His heart ached at the thought of him and Rose not being together. He couldn’t even fathom it. He was one-hundred percent certain that he and Rose would be together forever, in this life and in whatever came after. “I’m sorry your friend is going through that hardship. And that it’s made you nervous.”

“I wasn’t really nervous,” Ainsley said quickly, but the vulnerability that had been splayed across her face minutes ago contradicted her statement. James merely nodded though.

“Are you feeling better?” Rose asked, smoothing Ainsley’s hair away from her face.

“Yeah,” she said, nestling down into her pillow.

“Thank you for talking with me and Dad.”

“Thanks for listening,” Ainsley said, then she heaved a sigh that sounded too big to come from her tiny body. “I still feel a bit funny inside.”

“Illness funny or weird funny?” Rose asked, unconsciously pressing her fingers to Ainsley’s cheeks and forehead.

“Weird funny. Like… I feel sad but I dunno why. ‘Cos I’m not sad, I don’t think.”

“As you get older and have more experiences, you’ll start to feel more emotions that you might not know what to do with,” Rose said. “It’s perfectly normal, but may be overwhelming sometimes. Can you try to promise me you’ll come talk with me or your dad, or even your gran or grandad, if things get overwhelming? No matter how silly you think it is?”

“I promise,” Ainsley said, flashing a small smile.

“Good girl,” Rose said. “Do you think you can sleep now?”

Ainsley nodded, and James scooted off the bed before helping Rose slip off.

“I love you so, so much,” Rose whispered to her daughter. She peppered a series of kisses across Ainsley’s face, covering her forehead and cheeks and chin and nose. “Goodnight Ainsley.”

“Night Mum.”

James stepped forward when Rose backed away.

“Nighty night, darling,” he said, leaning down to brush a kiss to his daughter’s cheek. He smoothed out her blankets and fussed with them, making sure there were no folds or lumps as he tucked them around her shoulders. “Gonna bundle you in nice and tight.”

James grinned at his laughing child as he tucked the blankets under Ainsley’s body, cocooning her snugly. He then pressed a smacking kiss to her forehead.

“G’night Daddy,” she said, her eyes bright.

“Sweet dreams.”

He and Rose backed out of her room, flicking the lights off and shutting the door behind them.

“Well that was… unexpected,” James groaned when they plopped down on the couch together.

“She is nine,” Rose said pointedly. “Pretty soon she’ll be starting puberty and dealing with all these new and weird hormones and emotions and…”

“Don’t remind me. That’s not supposed to happen. She’s my baby girl.”

Rose patted his chest comfortingly. They were silent for a few moments before she said, her voice teasing, “So… our kids are the only reason you haven’t gotten bored of me.”

It took James a moment, but he finally remembered the context of her quip. “I really am sorry about that,” he said, grimacing. He scrubbed his hand across the back of his neck. “I didn’t mean it how it came out.”

“I know,” Rose assured. “It’s funny, is all.” She snuggled in to his side, and he hugged her close, her warmth soothing. “What do you think we’d do if we didn’t have kids to keep you entertained?”

“Have more sex,” he deadpanned.

“Even more than we already have?” Rose snorted. “Blimey, I dunno if that’s even possible.”

“Oh, I’m sure we’d manage.” He stroked his fingers up and down the length of her arm. “What do you think we’d do if we didn’t have kids?”

“Probably travel a bit more.” James felt a little guilty that she actually gave a real answer while he provides a blasé one. “I mean, we already travel quite a lot, but it’s very strictly planned to either make sure the places we go are kid-friendly, or to arrange for child care so you and I can go somewhere.” Rose paused for a moment before she admitted, “I kind of miss the spontaneity that came with not having kids.”

“I do, too,” he agreed. “Though I think the presence of the kids makes me cherish the alone time I have with you even more. It’d get a bit dull spending every waking minute together, wouldn’t it?”

“Charming,” Rose drawled, flicking the back of his head.

“Do you understand what I mean, though?” he asked, worried that perhaps he was alone in his feelings and was instead digging himself into a hole.

Rose stared at him, letting him simmer in his uncertainty for a few long seconds before she winked at him and leaned up to kiss him swiftly.

“Yeah, I understand,” she said. “For the record, I agree. I adore our children and I would never, ever wish them out of my life, but they give me a greater appreciation for moments like this.” She gestured vaguely around the living room. “I love spending time with you and the kids, but I also love when it’s just us.”

“So… now that it’s just the two of us, what are we gonna do?” James purred into her ear.

“I was actually considering getting ready for bed,” Rose admitted, smiling sheepishly.

James burst out laughing, and he squeezed his arm around her shoulders.

“It’s not that I’m ready to sleep, but I’m tired and want to lie down and get settled in for the night.”

“Sounds good to me,” he said.

Together, they locked up the house and carried the twins from the bassinets in the living room to the bassinets in their bedroom.

“Want to play a game?” Rose asked after they’d gone through their nighttime routine and were lounging in bed. “Like Word Association or something?”

“Sure.” Word Association was one of their favorite pillow talk games to play. One of them would start with a random word, then the other would say the first word that popped into their head that was somehow associated with the original word. The game was over if one of them couldn’t come up with a word within a couple seconds, or if a word was reused. “You start.”

“Bed,” Rose said.

“Pillow.”

“Head.”

“Blowjob.”

“How the hell…?” Rose giggled.

“Y’know… giving head,” he replied, waggling his eyebrows. “Go on. You next.”

Rose rolled her eyes. “Cuddle.” She rolled into his arms as she said the word, and he hugged her close.

“Warm,” he murmured, burrowing himself into her soft heat.

“Summer.”

“Beach.”

“Sand.”

“Arse.” He let his hand wander down her back until he cupped her bum.

“Seriously?” Rose laughed, swatting his hand.

“Seriously! Sand gets everywhere, Rose,” he said gravely, though he kept his hand where it was.

She pressed a kiss to his chest. “Sex.”

“Kiss.” He ducked down to catch her lips in a long kiss, his tongue darting out to swipe against hers.

“Wet,” she rasped.

He smirked. “Arousal.”

“Handsome.”

“Beautiful,” he whispered, nudging his nose against hers before he kissed her again.

She twined her fingers through his hair, keeping him where he was as she returned his kiss.

“Flattery,” she mumbled against his mouth before scraping her teeth against his bottom lip. He hummed into the kiss and nearly forgot about the game entirely until she said, “Your turn.”

“Love,” he breathed, hoping he picked something associated with the word she’d given. Frankly, he had forgotten what she’d said.

“Lust,” she said, scratching her fingernails across his scalp.

Hot tingles broke out across his skin and he shuddered, barely swallowing down a moan. His lips moved hungrily against hers, chasing the pleasurable sensations that came with snogging his wife.

“Your turn,” Rose prompted yet again.

James could hardly think straight, especially as she kept teasing her fingers through his hair. “Sex.”

“Ha!” Rose popped her lips away from his, leaving him dazed and disoriented. A victorious grin was on her face; she looked far too clear-headed for his liking. “I already used that word. I win!”

“I think you cheated,” he pouted, though he really wished she would keep kissing him.

“I think someone’s a sore loser,” Rose said, her tongue poking out as she beamed.

“I demand a rematch.” James rolled until his body was pressed up to hers. He crushed his mouth to hers, delighting in her surprised hiss. He chased her tongue back into her mouth, stroking and teasing it as his hands wandered up and down the length of her spine.

“Tongue,” he said against her mouth.

“T-teeth,” she sighed as he nibbled his way across her jaw and down her neck.

“Bite,” he answered, giving her a quick nip as he spoke.

She whimpered and arched her head back to give him better access. “Suck.”

“As you wish,” he responded, latching his mouth to the side of her neck.

“N-no, that was my word,” Rose said. She whined when he popped his mouth away from her skin. “Though you can keep doing that, if you’d like.”

He grinned, and said, “Cock,” before attaching his mouth to her once more. Maybe it was cheating, but he let his lips and teeth wander down to the sensitive join where her neck met her shoulder. She shuddered in his arms and let out a breathy gasp.

“Your turn,” he whispered between kisses. “Unless you’d like to concede the game?”

“Stiffy,” she said.

“Stubborn woman,” he muttered. “Rub.”

“Grind.”

“Thrust.”

“Moan.”

“Groan,” he purred into her ear. His brain was close to short-circuiting with the love and pleasure coursing through his body. He knew they would need to stop the game before he became too aroused; it was torture knowing he couldn’t roll on top of Rose and make love with her. But nevertheless, he was enjoying this bit of teasing, despite the heavy ache throbbing between his legs.

They made it through a few more words, each one raunchier than the last, before Rose placed her hand on his chest and said, “I want to stop now.”

It was as though a bucket of ice water had been thrown on him. He scooted away immediately.

“Are you all right? I’m sorry, I…”

“I’m fine,” Rose assured. He cheeks were flushed and her pupils were blown wide. “It was getting too intense, though.”

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Don’t be. I was enjoying that very much.” Rose reached over to rest her hand on his chest. “But we can’t go any further, and if we’d kept up the game, I would’ve forgotten why we couldn’t go any further.”

James nodded and reached up to twine his fingers with hers. He pressed a kiss to her knuckles and held her hand, neither of them speaking.

“Are you all right?” Rose asked. “Need to go take care of yourself or anything? Or want me to give you a hand?”

“You gave me a hand this morning. Two hands, actually.” He winked roguishly at her, making he grin.

“I don’t mind doing it again,” she said sincerely. “Honestly.”

“I know. And thank you, but I’ll be fine.” And he was. Already, his erection had flagged and would be completely gone in a few minutes.

“That was really fun,” Rose admitted.

“Yeah, it was,” he said. “Can we have a cuddle? Or are you too worked up still?”

In reply, Rose took her hand from him and rolled onto her side, facing away from him. She then reached back to draw him in as he curved his body around hers. They wiggled around for a few moments, getting settled. When her bum brushed across the front of his pants, she teased, “You sure you don’t need a private moment?”

“Quite sure,” he said, rolling his eyes even though she couldn’t see. “It was going down ‘til you started grinding.”

“Unintentionally grinding,” she corrected.

“You comfy?” he asked, tucking his face into her neck.

“Mhm… wanna bet a baby will start crying in thirty seconds?”

“Don’t jinx it,” he whined, pinching her side.

Rose giggled quietly in the darkness. James gave her middle a squeeze and burrowed closer into her warmth.

The twins did not, in fact, begin crying thirty seconds later. Or even thirty minutes later. By that time, Rose had already fallen asleep and was snoring into her pillow, and James had stopped listening for the beginnings of a cry. He instead listened to the sounds of his home: Rose’s breathing. The twins’ occasional snuffling grunts and coos. The flushing of a toilet down the hall.

He strained his ears and heard shuffling footfalls. The footsteps were getting closer, before they disappeared altogether.

Must’ve been Ainsley, he thought to himself. Her room was the closest to theirs.

But then he heard the sound of little voices. Frowning, he disentangled himself from Rose and slipped out of bed. He exited his bedroom and crept towards Ainsley’s room, where the door was ajar.

He could hear his two eldest children speaking quietly, and when he knocked at the door, their voices went silent.

“Everything all right?” he asked.

Sianin was in Ainsley’s bed, facing the wall with the blankets pulled up to her ears. Ainsley peered at her little sister, then to him.

“She wee’d the bed,” Ainsley said.

“Ainsley!” Sianin cried.

“What? Daddy would’ve realized tomorrow morning anyway.”

Sianin sniffled and pulled the blankets higher up her face.

“Are you all right, Sianin?” James asked, stepping to the foot of the bed. He wished Ainsley’s bed wasn’t pushed against the wall so he could crouch down in front of her.

“It was an accident,” Sianin whimpered, her voice muffled.

“I know,” he said soothingly. “Did you put on clean jammies?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to sleep with Ainsley tonight?” James asked, hoping his eldest didn’t mind.

“Yeah.”

“Okay then,” he said. “Goodnight, darling.”

She mumbled something he couldn’t catch, then poked her hand out of the blankets to pull Ainsley down beside her. Ainsley rolled her eyes but was smiling fondly at her little sister.

“This all right?” he asked.

“Mhm,” Ainsley replied, yawning. She curled up behind Sianin and draped an arm around her waist.

James thought his heart might melt into his toes at the picture of his children cuddling together.

“Goodnight, my darlings,” he whispered. “I love you lots.”

“G’night. Love you,” Ainsley said sleepily, while Sianin just grunted.

He stepped out of the room and with a heavy exhale, went to Sianin’s room to clean up. He chucked her sheets and soiled clothes into the wash, then cleaned up her mattress. He was just putting the cleaning supplies away when he caught sight of movement from the corner of his eye.

“Everything all right?” Rose asked, her eyes bleary.

“Yep. Sianin wet the bed is all, but I’ve got it sorted,” James said.

Rose frowned. “She hasn’t done that in… God, I dunno how long.”

“I know,” James said. “It wasn’t too bad, though. She must’ve woken up part way through. Her bedding’s in the wash now, and she’s sleeping with Ainsley tonight.”

Rose nodded and yawned again. “Anything I can help with?”

He shook his head. “I was about to come back to bed. Were the twins up?”

“Just got done feeding them.”

She held out her hand for his. Hand in hand, they walked down the corridor towards their room. Rose tugged him to a stop so she could poke her head into Ainsley’s room.

The girls were in the same position he’d left them in, with Sianin facing the wall and the blankets tugged up nearly over her head, and Ainsley spooned up behind her.

“Oh,” Rose cooed, pressing her hand to her chest.

He smiled, then reached out to shut Ainsley’s door.

“I wonder what could’ve caused Sianin’s accident,” Rose mused as they crawled into bed.

“Dunno,” he said, curling up against Rose.

“I hope it’s a one-off. Maybe she forgot to wee before bed. Or drank more water than usual. Or had a scary dream. Or…”

“Or a dream where she really had to wee.”

Rose snorted. “Or that.”

“She’s probably fine,” James said with a contented sigh.

“Mhm,” Rose agreed, turning her body into his. She flung a leg over one of his and wrapped her arm around his waist, nuzzling her face into his chest.

“Goodnight, Rose,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head.

She muttered something unintelligible, and he nearly laughed; she sounded just like Sianin had.

Like mother, like daughter.

He breathed in deeply and kissed her again before closing his eyes and attempting sleep.

If you’ve made it to the end, consider leaving a comment or reblogging? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

#ficandchips #doctorroseprompts #dwfic #doctor who #ten x rose #ten x rose au #soulmates #soulmates au #james x rose #romance #fluff #family fic #kid fic #baby fic #lemons #perfectly matched series #family of six #my fic

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theycallmebeccawrites · 5 years

Text

Chris & Ellie Series: Episode 14

With Tumblr holding my original writing blog @beccaheartschrisevans captive (aka flagged as explicit), I have made a secondary writing blog and may end up closing the other all together. In the meantime, I am reposting all of my stories on my new blog.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Ellie Spencer (OFC)

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: some minor language

Episode Summary: Basically how Chris and Ellie spend December 2013 while apart

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

This episode can also be read on AO3.

The Chris and Ellie series is primarily chronological. It begins with a flash forward to 2016 and has a few other scenes in the future. However, the majority of their story is told in chronological order starting in 2013 and going through 2017. Each episode starts with a date to help you place it within the story.

The Chris & Ellie Series Masterlist | Chris & Ellie Masterlist

Episode 13

Episode 14: The Most Wonderful Time of Year

December 2013

It was with a mix of great joy and pure exhaustion that Ellie walked into the house on the Sunday after Thanksgiving. Too tired to walk down to the guesthouse, she collapsed on the couch in the living room and closed her eyes. Thanks to her cousin who had offered to watch Daisy over the weekend due to the extra hours Ellie was working, there was no reason for her to even get off the couch.

Which was why she woke up six hours later with a crick in her neck from the awkward position she'd fallen asleep in. Still, it took a lot of strength to pull her exhausted body from the couch and make her way down to her room. Despite it being a little after two in the morning, she took a shower and let the hot water ease her sore muscles, before she got into bed and fell back to sleep.

After picking Daisy up, later that morning, Ellie spent most of the day cleaning and doing laundry, chores that had been completely overlooked in the days leading up to Black Friday weekend at the bookstore. It was as she was checking the pockets of her clothes that she came across the business card of the lady who she had met at her aunt's house on Thanksgiving. She hadn't looked closely at the card until now and was slightly disappointed when she saw that the lady worked for a publishing company and not a literary agency, which likely meant she had no use for someone who aspired to be an editor. Setting the business card aside, Ellie continued with her chores, quickly coming to terms with the fact that she would just have to wait for another opportunity.

During the craziness of her weekend, the texts between Ellie and Chris had been sporadic, but they often found time to shoot each other a message or two in the days that followed. It was a couple days in December, however, when Ellie's phone rang at just after eleven p.m. Curious as to who was calling her so late, Ellie grabbed the phone and stared at in shock when she saw that it was Chris. With a sick feeling in her gut, especially since it was after two in the morning on the east coast, she accepted the call and said, "Chris? What's wrong?"

"I'm kind of freaking out right now," Chris said and she could hear the anxiety and panic in his voice. "We start shooting the movie later today, well, tonight really, but that’s beside the point, because I don't know why anyone would trust me with their manuscript. I'm just an actor."

Ellie let out a mental sigh of relief that no one was sick or seriously injured before she stepped up to the task of helping him through his freak out. "You're more than just an actor," she told him. "Yes. You've acted all your life, but you've been studying your craft and learning from those around you."

"But directing?" he sighed his voice thick with tension. She hadn't seen him in this situation before, but knowing him, she imagined him wringing his hands and pacing the floor of his hotel room, likely to the annoyance of his neighbors. "What the hell was I thinking?"

"That you wanted to challenge yourself," Ellie said firmly, repeating the words he'd said to her months ago when he'd told her he was looking for a script to direct. "You have a great team around you, Chris, they trust you and they want to take this journey with you."

"Insane, every last one of them," Chris with a scoff that gave way to a forced laugh. "Even more insane than I am."

"You're not insane, you're just nervous," Ellie said as she pushed herself up into a sitting position on her bed, jostling Daisy slightly, who glared at her before rolling over and falling back to sleep. "You just need to distract yourself so you can get some sleep."

"You're right," Chris said and she heard him take a deep breath. "Ok, distracting myself." He took another long, slow breath. "Distracting myself... Oh! Did you send that lady your resume?"

Caught off guard at the change of subject so quickly, Ellie stammered, "No… not really."

"What does that mean?" Chris inquired. "You either did or you didn't."

"I didn't," Ellie confessed, biting down on her lower lip.

"Why not? That's the door you've been waiting for," he said, practically lecturing her. She was happy to hear a more positive tone to his voice, but not so happy that it was at her expense.

"It isn't though," Ellie said before defending herself, "she works for a publishing company and editors work with authors and literary agents, not the publishing company."

"But if she works with authors and literary agents then she has the contacts to forward your resume to," Chris countered. "Therefore, she has the contacts you need."

"You're trying to confuse me with logical shit and it's too late for that nonsense," Ellie muttered, rubbing her forehead. "Can't we go back to talking about your anxiety over directing?" Ellie pleaded before letting out a deep shy as the pressure of the situation began to wear on her. She'd come to LA to be an editor only to have her dreams of that career go up in flames thanks to her sexist pig of a boss.

"No," Chris said with a chuckle. "This is a great topic to distract myself with. That is what you suggested after all."

"Ugh, remind me to never tell you to distract yourself again," Ellie grumbled, slumping back against the headboard.

"At least not when we're across the country from each other," Chris said, smoothly. Despite their time apart, he was even more sure that Ellie was the girl he wanted to be dating. After all, she was the first person he'd needed to talk to when he had started freaking out an hour earlier. He understood why she was hesitant, however, and he didn't want to push her into anything she wasn't ready for, but there were some innuendos even he couldn't resist even on his best behavior.

"Or ones that require us to talk," Ellie responded as her mind flickered back to their kisses in October. What she wouldn't give to be with Chris right now, kissing his worries away. She cleared her throat, pulling them both back to the topic at hand. "Ok, Evans, give me your sales pitch."

"My sales pitch? What? … Oh, right... We were talking about you submitting your resume." Chris let out a genuine laugh that made Ellie smile. "I don't really have a sales pitch, I just think you'll live to regret it if you don't send her your resume, El," he admitted. "Like you said yourself, she isn't the person you're trying to get to hire you, but she’s an avenue to that person."

"If she even reads it," Ellie said in a negative Nancy tone.

"Then make her read it," Chris said with an overzealous amount of enthusiasm. "Send her flowers or chocolates or -"

"Something stolen from Chris Evans' house?" Ellie suggested, jokingly.

"Ha," he replied before sobering. "I've seen your resume, Ellie, and you've accomplished a lot. If this lady is smart, she'll take one look at your resume and know she has to send it on."

"But what if she doesn't?" Ellie said quietly, voicing her biggest fear. "What if the only reason she gave me her business card was because my aunt was nagging her to during dessert?"

"What if someone had helped her to her first job in the publishing world and she wants to help you? Chris countered, his tone part fierce and part compassionate. "I know I sure as hell didn't make it where I am now without help from people in the industry who took a chance on me."

He waited a moment, likely for dramatic effect, she thought, before he continued, "You're damn good at what you do, Ellie, and don't you ever forget that. We both know that selling used books and managing my house are not what you want to do for the rest of your life. Editing is where your passion is. I've never seen someone actually light up over a writing reference book like you did when you bought that book that someone had traded in."

"It wasn't just a book, it was a first edition of -" she started but stopped when she heard him call her a nerd. "Hey!"

"Does it make it better if I say you're an adorable nerd? Hot even." Chris asked, thankful that he had distracted her from what he knew would be another hour-long conversation about the importance of that book. "Because you totally are."

"You aren't so bad yourself, though I don't think anyone would confuse you for a nerd, you've got too many muscles," she replied her tone turning a bit wistful at the end. "Lots of bumpy muscles." A part of her wanted to tell him right then and there that she wanted to try to be a couple with him, but that would put them exactly where they were now, nearly 3,000 miles apart.

"Nerds come in all shapes and sizes," he reminded her, biting his tongue to keep from telling her he'd show her his bumpy muscles again if she showed him her bumps. He cleared his throat and quickly tried to recall what they had been discussing before their detour. "Right. You're resume. You're going to send it to her, right?"

After taking a moment of her own to recall the conversation, Ellie replied, "Yes, I'll send it in the morning, if it will make you happy."

"No, don't do it to make me happy," Chris told her, shaking his head despite the fact that she couldn't see him. "Do it because you want to, because it will help you achieve your dreams. Because this is the job you want so bad you can taste it, because it's all you think about."

"Ok, I'll do it for me," Ellie replied, feeling somewhat inspired by his passion. "You know, if this acting and directing thing doesn't work out, you'd make a great inspirational speaker."

"Ha ha ha. No." Chris shuddered at the idea. "Gimme a script and tell me to play a superhero. I've got that. Tell me to stand in front of a bunch of people I don't know and tell me to just speak, you'd better have something for me to fall onto when I pass out."

"I'm sure it wouldn't be that bad," Ellie told him. "But I don't think you need to worry about a second job, or is it a third job, now that you're an actor and director?"

"It's too late to think that hard," he replied with a laugh.

Glancing at the clock, Ellie's eyebrows shot up when she realized they'd been on the phone for over an hour. "Chris! You need to get some sleep!! You're going to be pissed when your lead actor shows up with dark circles under his eyes!"

"Wouldn't surprise me, that guy is an asshole," Chris joked and then yawned. "But you're probably right…"

"Of course I'm right and you need your beauty sleep, too, Mr. Director," she snickered. "Even though all you have to do tomorrow is sit still and look pretty."

"It's a hard job, someone has to do it," Chris said in a self-sacrificing tone. Returning to a more serious tone, he said, "Thanks for answering your phone, El. You're exactly who I needed to help me through my panic tonight."

"I'll always answer my phone for you, Chris," Ellie replied, her tone also serious. "And I'm glad I was able to help you out."

After saying goodbye to Chris, Ellie plugged her phone in and turned off the lights. She slid under the blankets of her bed and whispered to Daisy, "I know he is worried about directing, just like I'm worried about this job… but I have as much faith in him going for his dreams as he does for me."

The next morning, before going to the bookstore, Ellie did as she had promised and sent her resume and a carefully worded cover letter to the lady at the publishing company. She still wasn't convinced that it would open any doors for her, but she'd promised Chris she would do it. Before pressing send, she took a picture of her computer screen with her phone and sent it to Chris and got an 'you got this!' in reply.

Over the next couple of days, Chris kept Ellie up to date on how things were going with the movie (good) and how he was getting on with the cast and crew (great). Due to his late night shoots, however, all of their communication happened via text since by the time he got out of bed, she was already working. The texts were usually funny things that were happening around them as well as encouraging thoughts for each other.

She was at work the day she got the email from her aunt's friend with a formal introduction to a literary agent who wanted to meet Ellie for a possible job. Before even replying to the email, during her break, Ellie sent Chris a text with a screen shot of the email, to which he replied with a simple, "told you so."

Once again, Chris was the first person she reached out to, a few days later, when she got into her car after the meeting with the literary agent. Way too excited to type, she took a chance and called him, hoping he was awake and available to talk.

"How'd it go?" he asked, answering his phone without a proper greeting. He'd known that her interview was that morning and there was an edge to his voice that told her he might have been more nervous about it than she had been.

"It was amazing," Ellie gushed as she leaned back against the car seat. "We talked about my goals and what I wanted to achieve as an editor and the typical 'where do you see yourself in five years' questions. But Chris, he said he was impressed with my resume and that he was familiar with a couple of the self-published novels I've edited."

"That's awesome," Chris said and, knowing him as well as she did, Ellie could hear the smile in his voice. "See, I told you. You should listen to me more often," he added, cockily.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she replied, rolling her eyes playfully. "I haven't even told you the best part yet."

"Well get to it then, I don't have all day!" he teased, sarcastically. Before she had a chance to tell him, however, he started humming the Final Jeopardy tune and then continued when she did start.

"CHRIS!" she complained while laughing. "Shut up so I can tell you!"

"Sorry," he replied attempting a tone of sincerity while still laughing. "I'll behave, promise." She said nothing, not trusting him at all. "I'm done, I swear!"

"He gave me a manuscript for one of his authors!" she exclaimed and let out an excited squeal, nearly dropping the phone as she did a little happy dance in her car.

"That's fantastic!" Chris couldn't help but chuckle at her antics. "Do you have a due date?"

"That's the thing," she said, her excitement tapering off. "He wants me to read it, mark it up and do my thing to it, but before Christmas. That's less than two weeks away…"

"I've seen you read an entire book in one sitting," he stated. "Which let me tell you, is an impressive and mind blowing sight. I have no doubt you can get this done in that time. Assuming, of course, it's not like a War in Remembrance length…"

"It's not, thank God, it's a little more than two hundred pages and double spaced," Ellie replied. "I've edited longer ones, but I'm kind of nervous, ya know? This is a real book and author. I mean, when it's finished, I could walk into a bookstore and pick it up off the shelf."

"You've got this," Chris encouraged her. "And when it comes out, I'm going to buy that book and make you sign it."

"You don't even know what kind of book it is," Ellie said with a laugh. "It could be a self-help book on embracing your sexuality as a woman."

"Is it?" Chris asked, hesitantly.

"No, lucky for you, it's not." She laughed. "It's a mystery novel."

"Whew, that was going to be an awkward purchase otherwise." He let out a sigh of relief. "But you've got this, Ellie. Editing was what you were born to do."

"Thanks for pushing me, Chris, I wouldn't have had this opportunity if it weren't for you," she said, seriously.

"Exactly and when you become the most in demand editor, I expect residual checks," he stated with a chuckle. "I know there isn't much room to work in the guesthouse, so feel free to use my office to spread out, if you'd like."

"Are you sure?" she asked, hesitantly. "I don't want to invade your personal space."

"I'm pretty sure we crossed that line on Halloween," he said casually, but the memories of that night and the kisses they had shared brought extra heat to his words.

"Which line was that?" she asked, flirtatiously. "When I pushed you against the wall? Or when you flipped us around?"

"Somewhere in the middle," Chris replied, lowering his voice since he was on set. He'd moved aside when he'd answered the call, but he wanted to protect Ellie and their, hopefully, budding relationship.

Feeling emboldened by his words, her meeting that morning and her desire to clear the air with Chris about her feelings, Ellie opened her mouth to tell him she wanted to take that step with him, but before she could get the words out, someone on his end shouted at him.

"Shit," he cursed into the phone. He pulled the phone away and she could hear a hushed conversation happening on his end, followed by additional cussing from him before he finally returned. "I've got to go, El. We're having an issue with one of the cameras. We'll finish this conversation later, good luck with the editing."

After hanging up, Ellie held her phone to her chest and breathed in deeply. Chris's support and refusal to let her give up on her dream of being an editor had only made her more confident in her decision to take a chance with him. It was early--way too early, if she was being honest with herself--to even be thinking along the lines of a definite future with Chris, but she couldn't help it. There was something special about the bond she shared with Chris and she hoped it was the forever, even if it was just forever friends, kind of bond.

In the week that followed, Ellie spent her free time working on the manuscript, which left little time for more than a few texts with Chris here and there, which ended up working out fine because Chris, himself, was busy with the final days of filming. There were times that she wished they could talk on the phone as she was trying to go to sleep at night, but she knew that they both needed to focus on their projects before distracting themselves with relationship talks. As she powered through the corrections and comments for the author she was working with, Chris acted and directed, which resulted in them both finishing their projects on the Friday before Christmas.

They exchanged texts the next day as they sat in airports across the country from each other waiting for their flights: hers to Oregon to spend two weeks with her family and him to Florida where he would join his family for the last couple days of their annual Disney World trip before they all returned home to Sudbury for Christmas.

By the time Ellie got to her parents’ house, in a small town in the Willamette Valley, it was nearly dinner time and the house was already full. Her younger sister, Riley, was home from college and her older sister, Sydney, and her two kids had arrived a couple hours before Ellie had. The only people who hadn't arrived yet were Sydney's husband and her sister Izzy, who both had to work the first part of the week.

After a dinner of pizza, Ellie retired to the room she'd shared with Izzy growing up and was unpacking her clothes when she got a text from Chris asking if she'd made it home yet. Sitting down on the bed, she smiled as she replied yes and then sent him a selfie she had taken with her niece and nephew earlier. They texted a few more times, including a couple pictures of him with his nephews in Disney World.

Distracted by the texts, Ellie didn't realize Sydney and Riley were in the doorway to her room until Riley cleared her throat, startling Ellie completely and making her jump in fright.

"So, how's Chris?" Sydney asked with a knowing smile.

"Good," Ellie replied with a slight blush. It had been during their last sisters group chat that she had told her sisters what had happened between herself and Chris after the baseball game and about the decision she had made on Thanksgiving. Her sisters had been happy for her and had teased her about it a bit, but Ellie had noticed that Izzy hadn't been herself.

It hadn't been until a private conversation between the two of them over the phone that Ellie found out that Scott had already told Izzy about the kiss at the World Series and the lipstick incident at the Halloween party. Her sister, and best friend, had been understandably upset for not hearing about those two incidents from Ellie herself. Things were still a bit touchy between the two sisters, which is why Ellie had offered to drive to Portland to pick Izzy up on Christmas Eve.

When it came to talking with her sisters, it was easier to tell all three of them at once than each individually, especially if you weren't trying to tell them everything. Ellie, herself, had been part of the post one-on-one conversations where notes had been compared to figure out what the sister on the hot seat had left out. She had hoped to avoid that situation, but clearly Riley, Sydney and Izzy had different plans.

"Have you told him you want do have sex with him yet?" Riley asked in the casual way a college student talks about sex.

"Not yet," Ellie replied before going on to tell her sisters how her attempt the week before had failed and how she and Chris had both been super busy. "It's the whole distance makes the heart grow fonder thing, ya know." She shrugged.

"But what if the other heart doesn't know it's supposed to be getting fonder?" Sydney asked with a sense of caution in her voice.

"Seriously, even I know that," Riley stated. "He's a celebrity. All he has to do is give a girl a look and he can bone her."

"Riley!" Sydney scolded as she quickly got up and closed the open door. "Little ears have big mouths."

"Sorry," Riley replied, sheepishly.

"And if Chris is out there 'boning' other girls while waiting for you to decide what to do about your relationship then I'm sending Garrett and his brothers to get your stuff from Chris's house and we'll have Izzy get a restraining order -" Sydney went off on an overprotective big sister rant.

"He's not boning other girls," Ellie cut her sister off. "Chris isn't that kind of guy."

"I'm just saying," Riley said with a shrug.

"Well you can stop saying," Ellie replied with a pointed look.

"And you could start saying who that guy in all your Instagram photos is," Sydney said, changing the subject and putting the fire on Riley for a bit.

By the time Christmas Eve rolled around, Ellie welcomed the peace and quiet of the hour drive to the airport. She loved her family, but her parents’ house was smaller now than it had ever been, especially since her brother-in-law had arrived the night before and there had been another shuffling of sleeping arrangements.

It was while she was waiting for Izzy in one of the designated cell phone waiting areas that the literary agent called her. The conversation was short and to the point: he and his client had been impressed with the notes and corrections that she had made and they both wanted to work with her in the future. So much so that he told her he had put in a request with the agency he represented to sign her as an independent contractor contract at the beginning of the year.

As soon as she hung up with the agent, she called Chris without a second thought. She was crying happy tears when he answered the call and it took her a moment to compose herself before she was able to tell him the fantastic news. "The author said she has never had such helpful notes," she gushed to Chris, repeating what the agent had told her. "She wants me to be her main editor and she already has another novel in the works that she wants me to read as she writes it!"

"I knew you could do it!" Chris cheered then jested, "Next time text me first so you don't give me a fucking heart attack when I answer the phone and you're crying!"

"Sorry," Ellie said with a giggle. "I'm just so… over the fucking moon right now!"

"I knew you had it in you," Chris praised. "You're talented, you just needed to have a little faith in yourself."

"This never would have happened if you hadn't seen it and had the faith in me that I didn't have," Ellie pointed out.

"True, but you did the hard work and I am so proud of you," he agreed, encouragingly. "How are you going to celebrate?"

"I don't know, you're the first person I told," Ellie replied still in a state of awe over the whole thing. "In fact, I'm by myself waiting for Izzy at the airport. And -" She paused as she realized now was the time to tell Chris something equally as important as her job.

She took a deep breath and then laid her heart on the line. "Chris, I want to try us out," she said. Her voice had lost some of its bubbliness of a few seconds prior and a sense of anxiety had taken its place. "We both know the riskiness of it was what was holding me back, but I think it's worth it."

"Try us out as in date?" he asked, to make sure he was following the sudden change in conversation.

"Yes." She felt like her heart was going to explode as she waited for him to tell her that he still wanted to try. If he said he didn't, though, she wasn't sure what she would do.

"Are you sure?" he asked, cautiously. "You're really sure?"

"I've been sure for about a month," she admitted as she nervously picked at a dent in the steering wheel. "I was just waiting for the right moment to tell you." Recalling the conversation with her sisters the other day, she cleared her throat and added, "Chris, if me taking too long led to -"

"No, I haven't been with anyone else nor have I even wanted to be," Chris interrupted her. "That is where you were going with that, right?"

"Yes," she admitted, feeling relieved. "Really?"

"Really," he confirmed.

"So you still want to, too?" she asked, she felt silly for asking, but she wanted to know for sure.

"Yeah, I still do," Chris assured her before attempting to ease the tension with a joke. "And not just because I don't have to deal with LA traffic to pick you up for a date." To his relief, she laughed and he couldn't help but laugh, too. "So, out of curiosity, why did you wait so long to tell me?"

"It sounds silly now, but I didn't want to make it harder since we're on opposite sides of the continent," Ellie explained.

"I will resist the urge to make a joke about it being hard," Chris snickered with a hint of cockiness in his voice.

"You didn't resist too hard," Ellie pointed out with amusement. Now that they were on the same page, it was easier to be herself again without watching what she was saying.

"What can I say, it comes naturally to me," he played along. "Why fight what comes so easily."

"Hopefully not too easily, that would be disappointing," Ellie teased before dissolving into a fit of giggles.

"I guess you'll have to wait and see what happens in two weeks," Chris stated.

"Wait. In two weeks?" Ellie asked, quickly sobering. "You're coming home?"

"We got scheduled for reshoots beginning in early January," Chris confirmed, appreciating the excitement that was in her voice at his news.

As Ellie was letting that information digest, Izzy's text alert sounded in her ear. "Suddenly, I can't wait for Christmas to be over," she told Chris, finally. "And I love Christmas."

He chuckled and said, "I find myself feeling the same way, all of a sudden."

Knowing her sister was waiting, Ellie said goodbye to Chris with regret and then made her way to the arrivals area. It took her a good twenty minutes to get to where Izzy was waiting and they didn't have time to do anything other than get Izzy and her luggage into the car before they had to move on. Which meant that Ellie had to wait until she was out of the airport area before she could find a place to pull over. By the time she did, she was practically bursting from all the pent-up excitement. She then spent the next twenty minutes telling Izzy everything that had happened while she was waiting for her.

She was still on cloud nine when they got back to their parents’ house and found out that a package had been delivered for her while they'd been gone. The package, which had been overnighted from Florida, was from Chris and contained a Donald Duck stuffed animal with a note.

Ellie - Found this guy at Disney World and remembered you telling me how the Oregon Duck mascot was basically Donald Duck and, well, I knew you had to have him. Merry Christmas, Chris

Ellie felt tears come to her eyes as she held the stuffed animal to her chest. She felt Izzy behind her and felt her sister squeeze her shoulder before heading into the kitchen. Instead of following, Ellie took the present up to her room and placed it on her bed. She took a picture of it and sent it to Chris with a 'thank you' and 'I love it'.

When she finally made her way downstairs, she was surprised to find her family waiting for her with glasses of champagne and sparkling cider for the kids. Izzy handed her a glass and said, "I told them you had exciting news and that a toast was in order."

Ellie shared her news with her family and laughed as they showered her with exclamations and excitement. After they sipped their celebratory drinks, they shifted gears to their usual Christmas Eve festivities: watching Christmas movies and playing board games while munching on snacks. Followed by present opening since Sydney, Garrett and their two kids would be there in the morning for stockings before spending the rest of the day with Garrett's parents and siblings.

As she went to bed that night, with Donald Duck tucked in beside her, she couldn't help but think of the future. Per tradition, she and her family would head to the coast for the final week of the year, where they would ring in 2014 with four generations on the family compound of beach houses. Then she would return to LA and Chris would be there or get there shortly after her… and then… well, they'd be together and kicking off what had the potential of being an amazing year.

Episode 14.5

Want to find me off tumblr? I’m @beccatheycallme on twitter. I also post my stories on AO3.

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#chris evans #theycallmebecca #beccaheartschrisevans #theycallmebeccawrites #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fan fiction #chris and ellie series #chris and ellie #chris evans x ofc #chris evans x original female character

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singledarkshade · 5 years

Text

Settling In

Part Eleven - Visitors “What did she expect?” Rip snapped pacing his office, “That I would drop everything and be ecstatic she decided to invade my life?”

“Perhaps that you would be happy to see her, Captain,” Gideon replied reasonably.

Throwing himself into his chair Rip sighed, “Of course I am. It’s good to know that they’re safe but...”

“But?”

He moved to look into the lab where Cisco and Jonas were building a robot for Jonas’ school project. Rip was letting Cisco do this with him because firstly Cisco was like a big brother to Jonas, and got extremely excited about doing this sort of thing, but mostly because Rip didn’t want to accidentally include something that was too far in advance of the time period.

“Sara does not have any right to know anything about my life that I don’t want her to. Besides it’s not just my life she’s invading,” Rip said, smiling at the way his son was giggling at Cisco’s antics, “It’s his. I have Jonas settled here and I don’t want his life disrupted again.”

“You cannot protect him from everything, Captain,” Gideon reminded him, her voice gentle and consoling.

Rip sighed, “I have to try, Gideon.”

“I know,” she replied.

He closed his eyes for a moment, wishing that she was human so she could hug him again.

As nice as it was that he was hugged by the ladies of the team, in their continuing reminders that he was part of their family, nothing quite compared to being hugged by his best friend.

Even if it only ever happened in his mind.

“Is she still at the house?” he asked.

“Yes, Miss Lance has spent the entire morning there,” Gideon told him, “Waiting for you to return so she can talk with you. She has cleaned the kitchen under my directions.”

Rip chuckled, “See what other chores you can get her to do.”

“Will you talk to her?” Gideon asked pointedly.

“I guess since she has camped out in my home I will have to at some point,” Rip replied before adding, “But I think Jonas might enjoy going out for dinner tonight.”

“Slightly immature, Captain,” Gideon scolded before adding a moment later, “But considering everything I approve.”

Rip smiled when they reached the restaurant to find Iris, Barry, Wally and Joe already there. Jonas bounced happy to see them holding Cisco and Rip’s hands with Caitlin and Lisa following on behind.

“What’s the occasion?” Joe asked suspiciously while Iris hugged Jonas hello.

Rip shrugged, “I just thought it would be nice for us to all have dinner out.”

“Sara is at the house,” Caitlin told them taking her seat, “He’s avoiding her.”

“Caitlin,” Rip complained.

She smiled amused at him, “Well you are.”

“No matter the reason,” Iris noted, “It’s nice we’re all having dinner together.”

Joe nodded, “Especially when I’m not cooking and someone else gets the cleanup.”

“Definitely,” Rip agreed.

They all ordered their drinks before perusing the menu, Rip pulled Jonas onto his lap to choose his meal from the special menu he had. Once he decided Jonas settled again on his seat with the crayons and small colouring in book he had been given by the waitress after she cooed over how cute he was.

“What did Sara do to annoy you?” Wally asked.

Rip shook his head, “Just a slight disagreement,” he sighed at the pointed looks he received, “Mostly due to her wanting to know everything about my life here.” At the confused frowns Rip frowned back at them, “I am entitled to my privacy especially in my own home.”

“She wanted to know why you let me stay,” Lisa said softly, “Didn’t she?”

“Lisa, you are part of my family now,” Rip reminded her, seeing Cisco grab Lisa’s hand under the table squeezing it comfortingly, “And no one has any right to question that. I don’t care who they are or were in my past.”

Laughter echoed around the table while they finished their desserts. It had been an enjoyable night and, although he’d suggested it to avoid Sara for a few more hours, Rip knew he was incredibly fortunate that these people had accepted them into their family.

Rip suddenly realised how late it was getting when Jonas climbed onto his lap and leaned against his shoulder eyes closing with a sigh.

“Okay,” Rip shifted his son slightly to a more comfortable position, “I think it’s time for us to head home.”

Joe chuckled, “No more procrastinating about seeing Sara?”

“I can always hope she’s asleep,” Rip noted, sighing at the amusement that covered the faces at the table, “Yes, I know its wishful thinking.”

Giving Joe some cash to pay for his part of the meal Rip stood settling the now sleeping Jonas on his shoulder before turning to Lisa.

“Are you coming?” he asked.

Lisa gave a slight smile glancing to Cisco, “We’re going to go to a club. I’ll be quiet when I come in.”

Rip nodded, “Enjoy your night.”

“Good luck,” Barry called after him, making the others laugh.

With a shake of his head, Rip carried his son out to the car heading home knowing he had to face Sara.

*********************************************

Sara sat on the couch with a mug of coffee.

She’d forgotten how much Rip Hunter could make her want to punch him but he had managed to remind her today by being completely passive aggressive. Even Gideon had helped him in frustrating her, which she had never really done on the ship.

Hearing the door open she turned about to give him a piece of her mind but stopped seeing Jonas sleeping on his shoulder.

“Make me a tea while I put him to bed,” Rip stated as he walked past her and up the stairs.

Frustration filled her but she made him a mug of tea retaking her seat waiting for him to reappear hoping he didn’t decide to avoid her again by going to bed himself because she had no problem dragging his skinny ass out of his bed so she could kick it.

When Rip returned to the lounge he picked up his tea, sat on the couch and stretched his legs out in front of him resting his feet on the table.

“Well?” Sara demanded.

He took a drink of his tea and shrugged, “Sara, I’m not sure what you’re expecting but this is my home and I don’t need to justify to you who I allow to stay here. I also don’t need to explain what I do with my time.”

“Rip...”

“You’re not my Captain, Sara,” he stated, “You never were.”

She firmed her lips tightly before she replied, “I thought I was your friend and I have been worried about you. When we left you here you were clearly anxious about staying here.” “And it has now been several months,” Rip reminded her, “Where I have a group of people who have taken us in as part of their family. Did you expect to come back and find me hidden away needing you to rescue me?”

Sara took a breath, “I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“As I told you yesterday,” he finished his tea, “I’m fine. Goodnight, Sara.”

Without another word he headed upstairs leaving her sitting.

“At least he’s letting me stay,” she sighed.

*********************************************

Rip opened his eyes blearily when Jonas burst into the room and threw himself onto the bed wriggling under the covers beside Rip.

“Morning,” Rip chuckled, hugging his son close wincing when he saw the time, “You’re awake early.”

“Are we going to the park today?” Jonas asked snuggling into Rip’s shoulder looking up at him with a hopeful look.

Rip nodded, “Of course we are. It’s what we do on a Sunday.”

“Even with Sara here?”

Rip grimaced slightly before assuring his son, “We’re going to the park today, I promise. Why would you think otherwise?”

Jonas sighed, “Because I didn’t stay with Grandma this week.”

“I know and I’m sorry,” Rip hugged him.

Another small sigh came from Jonas and Rip realised his son had fallen asleep again. After ensuring Jonas was covered properly Rip closed his eyes to get a few more hours rest.

Sunday was what Rip called family morning.

Since Jonas usually stayed with Clarissa on Friday nights Sunday was their lazy weekend morning together.

“What do you want for breakfast?” Rip asked as they entered the kitchen.

Jonas grinned, “Pancakes.”

“That gets my vote,” Lisa’s voice came before she wandered in looking bleary-eyed.

Rip nodded, “Pancakes it is. Lisa, can you get Jonas some milk. Coffee is on.”

“Good,” she murmured, obviously suffering from her late night, “Jonas, cartoon time?”

Jonas nodded and he disappeared calling for Gideon to put on the television.

Rip looked over at Lisa while he started mixing the batter, “Fun night?”

“It was,” she smiled softly while she poured Jonas some milk and herself a coffee, “I’m having a lot of them lately.”

Rip wrapped his arm around her, “You deserve to have good things happen to you.”

Lisa rested her head against his shoulder for a moment before Jonas yell for her to hurry up made her look up, “The master calls.”

Rip chuckled, “Breakfast will be ready soon.”

She quickly poured Rip a coffee, setting it beside him before grabbing the milk for Jonas and her own coffee heading to join the little boy.

“Don’t forget there is another person for breakfast,” Gideon reminded him.

Rip hesitated for a moment.

“Not making her any is childish, Captain,” Gideon added.

“I know,” he replied before sighing, “Fine. I’ll make extra.”

Sara walked downstairs slowly hearing the sound of cartoons once more. She smiled seeing Lisa sitting cross-legged on couch with Jonas at her side both in their pyjamas holding mugs.

She’d spent a lot of time thinking over what Rip had said to her the night before and, reluctantly, realised he was right. She had no right to come and question anything about his life or who he let into it. Lisa was obviously not only comfortable here but part of the family Rip had built. She watched amused seeing Jonas take a drink every time Lisa did. The little boy adored her like a big sister.

“Breakfast is ready,” Rip’s voice made her turn to see him appear from the kitchen. He brought out a large plate covered in pancakes placing it on the coffee table. Returning to the kitchen he brought out several plates, cutlery and several bottles of syrup.

“If you want some, Sara,” Rip said without looking over at her, “You’d better hurry.”

Joining the family she took some of the pancakes before settling down to eat.

“Why did you never make anything like this for us?” Sara asked.

Rip shrugged.

“You never cooked for the Legends?” Lisa asked surprised, “Do they know you make amazing cakes?”

Sara stared at him, “You bake too.”

“You’ve met my mother,” Rip replied, “Does it surprise you she made sure I could feed myself?”

“I suppose,” Sara chuckled, “So, is this a normal Sunday?”

Lisa nodded, “Though sometimes it’s waffles or omelettes for breakfast.”

“After a lazy morning we go to the park,” Rip took over, “And either we have dinner here then watch a movie or we go to Clarissa’s with the rest of the team,” he took a drink of coffee before adding, “If you want you can join us today.”

Sara smiled, “I’d like that.”

*********************************************

The Stein household was full that night with both Team Flash and the Legends filling it for dinner. Clarissa had insisted on it when she heard the team were nearby and the Waverider was currently parked in the Star Labs parking lot once more.

Rip sat in the car watching through the windows everyone as they talked and laughed. He hadn’t realised how apprehensive he was about seeing the rest of them again until he’d arrived at the house.

“Are we going in, Daddy?” the voice from the back of the car pulled him out of his thoughts.

Rip turned and smiled, “Of course we are.”

He let Jonas out and took his hand leading him to the house. Just as they reached the door it opened and he smiled.

“Hello, Martin,” he greeted the man standing there.

A fond smile touched the older man’s face, “It’s good to see you, Rip,” Martin said giving him a brief hug. Looking down at Jonas Martin smiled, “And I hear you are now my grandson.”

Jonas looked up at Martin thoughtfully, “Does that make you my Granddad?”

“I would be honoured,” Martin told Jonas offering his hand, “Will we join the rest of the party?”

Taking the offered hand, Jonas nodded decisively leaving Rip to follow on behind.

“Englishman.”

Rip grimaced when he was instantly accosted by Mick Rory, knowing exactly what this conversation was about.

“Mr Rory,” he greeted the former bounty hunter, “Good to see you.”

Rory stared at him intently, “Lisa. She’s living with you.”

“Staying with me,” Rip corrected.

“And she’s at school?” Rory demanded.

Rip nodded, “Look at her and tell me she isn’t better off than she was.”

He watched Rory turn to where Lisa was sitting with Cisco laughing at whatever Ray was telling them.

“Snart would be pleased,” was all he said clapping Rip on the shoulder before returning to his chair and bottle of beer.

Rip shook himself a little stunned by how easy that had been.

“Rip,” Ray called bouncing off his seat and moving to him, “It’s great to see you.”

“And you,” Rip smiled genuinely.

Ray hugged him tightly, “You’re looking good. Sorry, Sara appeared without warning. I did tell her you wouldn’t be happy.”

“You were right,” Rip replied before quickly changing the subject, “I want to thank you for your generosity. What you gave me allowed me to get us the perfect home and Jonas a good education.”

Ray grinned at him, “I heard he got into Westbrook. That’s a fabulous school, how’s he doing?”

“He loves it,” Rip grinned back, as always lighting up with pride when he spoke of his son, “Cisco is currently working with him on building a robot for his school project.”

They moved to one of the couches realising they were standing in the middle of the room.

“What are you doing now?” Ray asked him.

Iris suddenly appeared over his shoulder, “Rip runs Star Labs.”

“What?”

Rip shrugged, “We reopened as the city’s Meta-Human Research Centre under the banner of Mercury Labs working with the CCPD. Caitlin and Cisco do what they always do while I keep everything running with Gideon.”

Ray stared at him for a few moments, “I didn’t expect that.”

Rip chuckled smiling at Iris as Clarissa called them for dinner.

*********************************************

“Clarissa told me you would be out here.”

Rip looked round from his seat in the garden at Martin’s voice, “It gives me the few moments of solitude after dinner that I don’t get much anymore.”

“Jonas does appear to be quite a handful,” Martin noted taking the seat across from him, “Clarissa has talked about him all weekend.”

Rip smiled slightly, “She has given me the most amazing support since I came here. She has become Jonas’ grandmother in every way and I have no way to thank her enough for everything she does for both of us.”

“I’m happy to see you have found your place here,” Martin told him, “Honestly we were all concerned leaving you. It did not escape anyone’s attention that your life has always been moving from place to place. Staying in the one time, in the one city for any length of time was something you have never done before.”

Rip took a drink of tea before replying, “It was challenging but I have found a life here and it is my home.”

“Why didn’t you let me know you were coming, Sara?” Rip asked when she took the seat Martin had vacated not long before.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Sara took the seat across from him, “And you lie to me, Rip.”

I’ll admit that it has not been easy to stay here in one time, in one place and raise Jonas but I have,” Rip told her, “Barry, Cisco, Joe and the other members of the Star Labs team have taken me in. I’m part of a family here. I never managed to be that with you all on the Waverider.”

“You never let us,” Sara noted.

“I know,” he grimaced shaking his head before admitting, “I brought you all together to try to save my family. When I failed I did my best to fill that void by chasing down aberrations and it didn’t work. I prepared everything for a time when I wouldn’t be there because I fully expected to die during one of our missions. Coming back after...”

“Your turn to the dark side,” Sara suggested when he hesitated.

“Precisely,” Rip shook his head softly, “You were in charge and a much better leader than I ever was. I was broken by Thawne, Sara by what I did under his influence. I was never a team player before that and trying to be part of a team when I didn’t feel I deserved to have people around me...”

“What changed here?” Sara asked.

Rip smiled slightly, “Jonas and the people here did. They accepted us as one of them and no matter how much I tried to keep myself separate they drew me in.”

He turned and glanced back into the house where Cisco was telling a story with Barry and Wally adding to it, Jonas sitting between Iris and Caitlin.

“They made us part of their family without giving me a choice,” Rip told her, “I never knew how much I needed one, Sara.”

She sighed and squeezed his arm, “It’s done you good, Rip but I wish you realised that you were always a member of our family.”

*********************************************

“The Waverider is in good condition,” Rip noted as he and Jax walked down the ramp, “You’ve done an excellent job.”

Jax grinned, “Thanks for doing a quick check and going over those repairs I did. It’s always good to have a second set of eyes.”

“Quoting me to me,” Rip chuckled turning to Sara who was waiting for them, “Everything is fine. Jax knows what he’s doing.”

“We’re just waiting for Ray and Nate,” Sara told them, “I dread to think what they’re buying, all they said was they needed supplies.”

“Haircut and Pretty are here,” Rory called as he appeared a bag thrown over his shoulder, “Let’s get going. Englishman,” he turned to Rip, “Look after yourself, that kid and Lisa.”

Rip nodded, “I will. Keep them alive.”

Rory clapped Rip on the shoulder, throwing him forward slightly before he headed into the ship.

Nate and Amaya appeared, Nate carrying a bag that looked suspiciously heavy while he tried to look innocent while passing Sara and Rip.

“Don’t tell me,” Sara said, shaking her head, “Where’s Ray?”

“Talking to Cisco,” Nate told them, before he quickly headed up the ramp followed by Amaya.

Rip chuckled, “I will go chase him for you, Sara.”

Sara stood at the bottom of the ramp waiting for Martin and Ray so they could leave. Both men appeared with Rip finally and Sara motioned for them to hurry up.

“We may have a time machine,” Sara told them, “But Rip has to pick Jonas up from school in less than an hour.”

“Of course,” Martin said turning to Rip, “It was good to see you.”

“You too, Martin,” Rip took the other man’s hand, “Take care and if you do need me for anything let me know.”

Martin nodded, heading into the ship himself. Sara motioned to Ray to go first. The other man nodded and hugged Rip.

“You know we do miss you,” Ray told him, “Don’t you?”

Rip gave a slight smile, “It’s nice to hear. Thank you, Ray.”

With a nod the final member of the team left Sara alone with their former Captain.

“I am sorry I appeared without warning,” Sara told him sincerely, “But I was worried about you. Thank you for letting me stay and letting me be a part of your family for a short time.”

Rip sighed and for once initiated a hug, “It was good to see you, Sara and you are welcome but next time let me know so I can arrange my schedule to spend the time with you.”

“I promise,” Sara chuckled, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before she headed onto the Waverider leaving him once more, “Gideon,” she called, “Plot a course to our next aberration.”

#fic #legends of tomorrow #rip hunter #jonas hunter #gideon #sara lance #mick rory #martin stein #ray palmer #clarissa stein #the flash #joe west #lisa snart #cisco ramon #caitlin snow

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tear-her-aus · 5 years

Text

Karma’s a Bitch - pt 7

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Summary: Closure. That’s what you needed to finally forget that memory of your past. A memory that shaped you into becoming the person you are today. Perhaps you wouldn’t find closure, but instead closure in the form of a boy would find you.

Pairing: Jimin x female reader x Jungkook (?)

WC: 5.1k

Warnings: Low self esteem, past trauma

Ps: FLUFF AND ANGST

A/N: Well hello! This is one of my favorite parts so far, so I really hope you like it as well. From this part on, the story finds its real course, so I hope you stick to find out what all of this is really about :)

* - * - * - * - *

Part 7

It was probably 9 am. You could tell by the light entering through your curtains. Despite being so early to wake up for a weekend, you started to stretch your arms as far as they were capable of. Wondering if it was better just to stay a little more and sleep a few more minutes, you turned the other way around to find a comfortable position. While you were turning, you felt something, or perhaps someone, beside you. Panic overcame your senses, and you started thinking of how you could end up in this type of situation. You didn’t drink last night or go to a club, so why this felt like a one-night stand? You tried to remember what was the last thing that happened the previous day, but only memories of your attacker would cloud your judgement. You were about to scream when once again a certain smell stopped you from losing your mind (or perhaps it was just the opposite?) In just a few seconds your brain made the connection between that smell and its owner.

More awake than ever, you slowly turned around to confirm your suspicion. Indeed, the owner of such a smell was as good as his cologne, or perhaps it was his natural smell? You could believe someone as perfect as this boy would have such a good natural odor. In fact, it wasn’t just his smell that was such a good combination with the boy, but everything from what he wears to the way he breathes is perfection. That was a word you didn’t like to associate with people (or maybe just with yourself), but he did made favor to the noun. Thinking in the opposite of perfection, you thought of yourself. You probably looked like a scarecrow: knowing all too well how you looked at mornings, it wasn’t a good picture to show to your… What was he? A million thoughts were flying over your mind, but the most prominent one screamed “You must look presentable before he wakes up!” And so, you started arranging a plan of how to get to the bathroom without waking Jimin up.

Once again, you turned to face the window, and slowly took the blanket off your body. Step 1: achieved. Now, step 2 was a little harder since you had to place your feet on the floor, and having such a noisy wooden floor, your attempt would be louder than a BTS concert. You didn’t know how, but you managed to place your feet lightly on the floor. Knowing perfectly well which spots creaked the most, you started avoiding those spots at all costs. If you could see yourself from a third person point of view, you would find yourself looking like a spy entering a place full of laser alarms: you looked ridiculous. But as ridiculous as it looked, you somehow managed to get to your bathroom without waking Jimin up. Looking at your reflection, you sighed. How were you going to fix yourself before Jimin woke up? This was a total disaster. Scolding at your past self for inviting Jimin to stay, you started by brushing your teeth since no one wants to be faced with morning breath. That would be the worst thing one could do to their crush. Crush, is it? Was he just that? (or were you lying to yourself in order to not admit your true feelings?) Anyways, you made yourself at least presentable, and once again became a spy whose mission was not to wake the angel up. Step 3: In process. You were about to get in bed once again, but damn… The way the sun made way to his face added to how angelic he looked sleeping. Admiring his beauty, you stayed like that for a few minutes until you saw him stir. Blowing all your effort away, you threw yourself in the bed and placed your blanket over your body as if you were a little girl hiding her mischief from her parents.

You hoped he didn’t wake up, and the minutes of silence proved you right, so you took the blanket off your face to confirm what you expected. He was still asleep, phew! Mission completed! Now you had to fake being asleep until he too wakes up. That or you could try to sleep again, but you knew it would be impossible because your heart felt like a drumroll. Finally, you decided on the first option since the second one seemed improbable. This time you laid facing Jimin, who seemed unbothered by your breath hitting his face. You could see the view in front of you for ages and never get bored. There was something about how when he had his eyes closed, it looked like he was smiling. And a smiling Jimin was all you needed to feel happy. It was that simple: his happiness brought you happiness somehow, or at least, made you smile. Then there was the perfect blend of Jimin’s ivory hair with his pale skin. It was a contrast that made him look younger yet mature, something also out of this world. He was a complete mystery to your eyes, like a Pandora box that looked so beautiful in the outside that anyone would want to know what marvelous things could be found on the inside.

* - * - * - * - *

Slowly, Jimin opened his eyes, and his vision landed on an unfamiliar wall. He blinked several times to gain consciousness and to figure out where he was. Focusing his vision, he noticed the wall had a calendar stuck to it, and notes were written on each day. Soon enough he realized he wasn’t in his room, so he turned around to figure out whose room this was. Upon turning to the other side, his eyes immediately landed on a figure that was sleeping peacefully. That was the only thing he needed to gain consciousness in a second. Unconsciously, he smiled upon seeing how beautiful this girl looked by only breathing and dreaming. Being too greedy, he wished she was dreaming about him or at least about their time together. Some part of Jimin wanted to hold her tight and kiss her forehead, but at the same time he didn’t want to wake her since he remembered what she went through the day before. So not wanting to ruin her peacefulness, he tried getting off the bed as quietly as he could manage. This wasn’t a one-night stand, so he didn’t have the need to run away before his companion would wake up. Instead he was trying to leave the room for other reasons.

Silently, he exited the room and headed for the kitchen. Jimin wanted to do something to lift Y/N’s spirits, so he decided on cooking some breakfast for the both of them. To prepare a delicious meal, he checked several recipes from the internet and lastly decided on some French toast and coffee. It wasn’t such a special thing to prepare, but it was something he would manage to do quickly before Y/N woke up. It was about 10 am when he finished arranging the table, and he wondered how to wake up Y/N to eat. He didn’t want to pry in her room again, so he decided on waiting for her to come out by herself. While waiting for her to come, he started washing the dishes to leave everything as clean as it was before he started cooking. It was probably due to the running water that he didn’t hear a pair of footsteps approach him from behind, but as soon as he finished cleaning the last dish, he turned around only to be surprised by a woken beauty.

“Woah!” he half screamed.

“What? OMG I look ugly, don’t I?”

“What? No, no. It’s just that I didn’t hear you coming”

“Oh… I see,” she nodded with curious eyes, “What were you doing?”

“Oh…umm. I was cooking some breakfast for us,” Jimin scratched the back of his head wondering if he was out of place by doing so.

“Really?” Y/N asked amazed.

“Yeah. I made some French toast hoping you would like it…”

“I love French toast!” her eyes lit up from excitement, “Let's eat! I’m starving.”

Without warning, she took his hand and guided him towards the table. Jimin couldn't help but feel butterflies at the contact. Then, both sat down and stared at the food as if it would be eaten by itself. The situation they both were in wouldn’t be described as awkward, but it was unusual. They were acting as if they were a two-year couple, and none of them were questioning it. Instead they went with the flow and ate their French toast while having some casual conversation.

Jimin and you spent the most delightful morning together, but soon enough, Jimin had to leave to do some chores. You couldn’t read his mind, but some part of you thought he was probably leaving to not make you feel uncomfortable. And for that you were grateful. You couldn’t deny you adored Jimin’s company, but it was likely both of you had things to do, well… at least Jimin. On the other hand, you were lost as to what to do with your free time, and nothing seemed to quench your thirst for entertainment. At last, you decided on the basics and laying on your bed, you started scrolling through social media. Being a dork, you avoided all content related to your family and friend's posts and focused on looking for good memes. Laughing out loud to the twentieth meme, you got a text. Hoping it would be a possible plan to go out, you immediately checked it. Once you opened it, you realized it was from an unknown number which made you feel apprehensive. Reading through the text, you assumed someone probably got a wrong number, or perhaps… flashbacks of the day before immediately came to your mind. You thought of that disgusting creep and got scared he might be a stalker. Has he gotten your phone number? But how? Without giving it the benefit of the doubt, you blocked the phone number, and with it, the text reading Hey! I´ve got a surprise for you, look out of your window’ was forgotten. You couldn’t help your curiosity (or was it fear?), and with some courage, you peeked out of the window to find an empty street. Sighing in relief, you continued procrastinating until nightfall came.

* - * - * - * - *

Once again, Monday rolled by with the same routine. Getting up, having breakfast, taking a shower, and preparing to train. However, there was a different feeling to it all. Everything felt way more colorful and exciting, yet you couldn’t place your finger on what was the reason of your euphoria. Deep down, you knew the reason behind this emotion but wouldn’t admit it to yourself. Perhaps it was your mind stopping you from falling too deeply into your feelings, which was probably for the best. Even if Jimin seemed sincere with his intentions towards you, you didn’t want to fall for it yet, being too afraid of being the only one playing that game. Jimin was so beautiful inside and out, yet you still couldn’t understand his reasons for wanting anything with you. You were the opposite to him, a total mess. Even if you wanted him to love you, you were too afraid he would realize what a disaster you were and would run away, leaving behind your heart in pieces. Being pessimistic wasn’t what these thoughts represented, it was just your fear taking over you mind and constricting your feelings inside of your heart.

The mind is a dangerous place, bringing up hurtful thoughts that made you believe you aren’t enough. That you were never enough. You had loved before, and you were loved in return, but some part of you believed that you were the reason for that love to fade. Thinking back on the memories of your past love, the one you still hold deeply in your heart, made you think once again if you were the reason he left. It was stupid and pretentious to think that way, but what if he left you not because he wanted to make his dreams come true, but because you weren't part of them. Back then, you let him go with a smile on your face, but what nobody knew was that your heart broke the moment his hand left yours, the moment his smile turned away from you as a new one appeared on his face in the expectation of doing great things. In that moment you knew you'd lost him, not because he had to leave, but because you weren’t enough for him to come back. The number of nights you cried for him were lost along the years, and soon enough you accepted that he wasn’t coming back. Even if he told you day after day for 360 days he would come back to you with his dream achieved, it wasn’t enough. Wanting to set him free, to be who he wanted to be, to be with whom he wanted to be with, you decided to end things with him with the promise of coming back together once he returned. Yet, you knew that promise was empty. Why would he want to come back to you when he could have so much better? Why would he, when he deserved so much better? Once again, a nostalgic tear left your eye, but you pushed it aside along with the rest of your thoughts. You couldn’t close you heart forever, and you knew it would be impossible with the way you were feeling for a boy you barely knew but to whom you were already giving so much. Smiling once again at the thought of Jimin, your nostalgia was soon replaced by euphoria. It was time to let go. Jimin was your present and perhaps your future, and if he wanted you as much as you wanted him then you were prepared to give the best of you.

Leaving those thoughts wander through your head, you checked your phone to notice you had several unread texts. You first checked Jin’s to see if something new came up, but realizing it was just one of his lame jokes, you rolled your eyes and checked the others. Surprised to see a text from Jungkook, you decided to check that one next. You surely were close enough to have exchanged phone numbers, but he rarely sent you any text (you were the one who usually started a conversation.) Opening the text, he was asking if you wanted to train with him once again. Thinking back on the last few days, you realized you haven’t talked to Jungkook that much. In fact, he hadn’t approach you at all. Frowning slightly, you accepted his offer with the plan to figure out what was up with him. He answered right away with a Cool! See you. You nodded to yourself and kept on checking the other messages which were basically class group chats talking about projects. You decided on checking them after training as you didn’t want to get all stressed just yet. Throwing your gym bag over your shoulder, you exited the apartment with phone in hand.

You looked for Jungkook but didn’t seem to find him which gave you the impression he might be in the third floor, so climbing the stairs, you looked for him once again. Indeed, he was there, in a treadmill, running as if his life depended on it. You approached him from behind and climbed on the one next to him without saying a word. He wouldn’t have listened to you anyways since he was wearing his earphones. Turning the treadmill on, you started running at a similar pace as his while looking straight front. Soon enough, you felt his stare on you and a small smile crossed your face as you acted as if you hadn’t seen him. With your peripheral vision, you saw him take one of his earphones and say something to you. Wanting to play with him a bit, you continued ignoring him. From the frown forming on his face, you knew you got to him, but before you could do anything, he pushed the emergency button from your treadmill making it stop at once. “HEY!” you gasped, surprised by his action and trying to stop just in time. Looking up at him questioningly, you saw a shit-ass-smirk on his face, making you want to be mad at him. “That was dangerous, you know?!” you managed to say exasperated. “I’m satisfied knowing you understand how dangerous ignoring Jeon Jungkook can be,” he winked. “What? I wasn’t even…” a smile broke unto your face, giving away your fake anger. “I could report you, you know,” you continued, wanting to get another reaction from him. “I bet you could,” was all he said, making you disappointed on your failure at getting to him. Rolling your eyes, you got off the treadmill in an attempt to walk away from him in “anger,” yet he stopped you in your tracks with his hand on your wrist. “I know you’re not mad, come on.” Cursing under your breath, you turned around to meet his eyes once again. “Fine! I’m not mad,” you pouted, “but you could’ve made me fall!” you stated. “If falling for me is what you mean, then certainly I could’ve caused serious damage,” his smirk never leaving his face. Despite knowing his personality well enough, you flushed at his cocky pick up line, yet simply answered with “shut up,” and soon after, “are we going to train or what?” He let a small laugh escape his lips as he guided you to the second floor, his hand never leaving your wrist. You two arranged one of the unoccupied rooms to start with a functional before heading to the third floor once again to do more cardio. Today it seemed you two would engage with an aerobic routine, which you were thankful for as your routine was starting to become boring to you. Both of you gave ideas as to what to include in your functional before arranging it. As everything was in perfect position, you two let the exercise consume you as everything else was ignored. Thirty minutes later, you two were gasping for air but still continued with the abdominal part. Wanting for it to be more entertaining, you proposed on doing abdominals in pairs. Basically, you two acted as a team, doing a mirror exercise of what the other was doing. Feeling destroyed at last, you both took a minute to recover before heading upstairs, you two just breathing in and out. That was the moment you decided to ask Jungkook about his past behavior.

“Kook,” you said softly. Surprised by the way you called him, he lifted his head to look at you, expecting your next words. “Why haven’t you talked to me in the past few days?”

You noticed a glint of sadness clouding his vision as he just stared at you and shrugged. “I guess you were so concentrated in your routine that I didn’t want to interrupt you.”

“Bullshit,” you smiled even if your heart constricted at the thought of him hiding something from you. Jungkook, however, simply stared at you, probably saying a million words with his eyes, but you were incapable of understanding them.

“I…I´m leaving,” he whispered looking down at his hands that were over his flexed legs. Your eyes widened as a knot started constricting your stomach. Those were the words you hated the most. Two simple words could lead to several unspoken thoughts. He was your friend, and he was leaving you. He probably became too bored about you and finally realized that getting away from you would be the best, and you couldn't blame him.

Despite all the thoughts that clouded your mind, you managed to ask: “Why?”

He kept looking at his hands as he said, “I got a scholarship to finish my major in Spain.” You finally understood. Off course it was because of an opportunity to fulfil a dream. It was funny how destiny tend to take people away from you with the same excuse, one that no one could be against.

Slowly, you nodded and with the most hurtful smile you said, “That’s amazing, Jungkook.” Once again, the mention of his name, made him look up, but this time it wasn’t a surprised look he gave you, but a regretful one.

Not wanting to seem pitiful, you continued “When are you leaving?”

His eyes searched yours as if waiting for another reaction, but you simply stared waiting for an answer. So, he answered. “Next week…”

You couldn’t help the knot getting upper in your throat, threatening to choke your next words. “Well I’m going to miss the hell out of you.”

He smiled at that and replied, “I’m going to miss you too,” before pulling you into his arms.

At first you were taken aback, but soon enough all your feelings crashed into his arms as small tears escaped your eyes, and your arms traveled down his back clutching his shirt with force between your fists. You didn’t want him to see you cry, so you hid your face in his shoulder, trying to clean the tears as they escaped your eyes.

* - * - * - * - *

Jimin couldn’t train today. He had a lot of projects to catch on, so he decided to stay home and focus on his responsibilities first. He couldn’t go to the gym and, therefore, couldn’t see Y/N which made him disappointed. He had an internal battle of whether to text her or not. As much as he wanted any sort of communication with her, he wanted her to text him first, not wanting to seem too eager. Because of that, he had his cellphone full volume on right beside his paperwork as he proceeded with his academic duties. To say he couldn’t concentrate at all because of the constant ringing of his phone was an understatement. He grabbed his hair in frustration as he saw the notifications of mostly all his social media but none from texts. Just as he decided to mute his phone, he received a text from Taehyung. Curious as what he had to say, he checked the text that read: Where are you? followed by, Aren’t you coming?

Jimin sighed and quickly replied Can’t. Have so much to do :/. He decided to leave it at that, but his friend was fast to reply:

Well… you should’ve come. Y/N is certainly enjoying her training.

Jimin frowned at that. What do you mean? Seconds passed but he felt like they were hours before Taehyung replied.

Jungkook… Jimin’s frown only deepened at reading that name. He was getting impatient with his friend and his lack of ability to communicate, so he questioned. Jungkook what? Talk now!

Tae: Jungkook and Y/N are quite close, aren’t they?

You: I wouldn’t know since I’m not there! You tell me.

Tae: No, no… but I mean like close as in a relationship.

Taehyung was starting to get the worst of Jimin’s impatience with his teasing, so Jimin snapped. Just tell me all ready what you came to say!

Tae: Yeah, okay. They are hugging in the second floor.

Jimin’s heart sank at that statement. He knew well enough that Y/N was close with Jungkook, but he didn’t think it would go as far as hugging. He tried to cool down and think in his past encounters with her. She wouldn’t play with him… would she? Sometimes Jimin’s insecurities could lead him to believe he wasn’t good enough and right now they were clouding his thoughts as he slowly started to believe them. He needed some reassurance that his thoughts were wrong, that he was enough for her, but at the moment what he could do was use his friend as a spy.

Me: What do you mean by hugging? I swear that if you are making this up, I’m going to kick your ass.

Tae: I’m not making this up! Look, see it for yourself.

Taehyung attached a picture to the text that left Jimin with a knot in his stomach. He could see Jungkook’s strong arms holding Y/N, as his eyes were closed. Yet, what hurt the most was seeing Y/N holding him as well with her head buried in his shoulder and her hands strongly clasped in his back. Even if it hurt, Jimin couldn’t take his eyes off the picture. He swallowed the lump in his throat and texted.

Me: What were they doing before they hugged?

Tae: I don’t know. I just came by and saw them.

Me: What are they doing now?

Tae: They seem to be heading upstairs.

Jimin didn’t want to be like a jealous boyfriend since he wasn’t even Y/N’s boyfriend, but on the other side, he couldn’t help the jealousy burning through his body. However, he tried to calm down and trust her. Perhaps they weren’t together just yet, but he knew her well enough to know she wasn’t a player. He had dated many of them before, so he knew the behaviors they usually show. He could tell Y/N was the opposite of it, so he just exhaled his jealousy and sent a text. But this time not to Taehyung, but to Y/N.

Me: Hey

Keep it simple, he thought. In the future complications will probably arise, but right now just keep it simple.

* - * - * - * - *

You usually didn’t check your phone during training, so you read your unread texts once you were in the comfort of your home. Even though you were a bit down because of Jungkook’s news, you couldn’t help feeling happy when you saw a text from Jimin.

Hey, it read. You decided on replying as simply as he did: Hi, but added at the end Didn’t see you today.

You waited a few minutes before another text came by.

Jimin: Yeah… had lot of papers to finish :(

You: Ah, I get you. Were you able to finish them?

Jimin: Thank god, yeah! I’ll be able to train again tomorrow. Want to train together?

You: Sure! I always enjoy the company. No reply came for a while, but then another message popped up.

Jimin: I’m glad. So, see you tomorrow?

You: Yeah! See you

Tuesday came by in a blink of an eye. You hadn’t spotted Jimin when you arrived, so as usual, you did some cardio before starting your routine. Descending the stairs, you spotted him talking to one of the trainers. He seemed to have seen you as well, so he excused himself out of the conversation and waited for you at the end of the stairs. He greeted you, and soon after, kissed you lightly on the cheek. You were glad your face was already red from the previous exercise you did, so you could conceal the hotness on you face. He suggested to do your routine and you complied by stating that you had to do deadlift. When you two were loading a bar to start, a boy with silvery-brown hair approached the both of you.

“Hey Tae, what’s up? I haven’t seen you in a while,” Jimin palmed he boy’s shoulder.

“Hey,” he replied mimicking Jimin’s gesture, “Well, I’ve had a tight schedule since I had to switch a class…but that’s not important right now. What are you up to?”

“We are loading for deadlift” Jimin said while motioning with his eyes towards your direction. The boy, which Jimin called Tae, looked surprised upon seeing you and didn’t miss a second to introduce himself.

“Hi! I’m Kim Taehyung!” he waved swiftly. You stilled for a moment at hearing his name, but dismissed your thoughts, and awkwardly waved back while replying. “I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah you too! Umm… I guess I’m going to continue doing some bench press. See you around!” He said and left to the other side of the room.

“He seems nice,” you said to Jimin.

“Yeah. He’s my best friend. We’ve known each other since kindergarten, you know” he said without waiting for a reply, and you were glad he didn’t want one because all the pieces started to fall in place. Park Jimin and Kim Taehyung being two names you would never forget. Two inseparable best friends, one a leader and the other the gullible friend. One the main reason of your low self-confidence and the other the cause of your trust issues. This couldn’t be a coincidence, and with the last thing that Jimin mentioned, it certainly wasn’t. You looked at Jimin who was looking at you with a concerned look. Feeling like you would have a crying attack, you excused yourself by telling him you would go to the restroom. Once there, you dialed Jin’s number.

“Hey Y-”

“Jin! It’s him” you interrupted him, tears falling down your cheeks.

“What? What are you ta-”

“Park Jimin”

“Yeah you told us about him, what about it?”

“It wasn’t just a common name. It’s him!”

From the gasp you heard, Jin must have understood you now. “WHAT? So, you are telling me the Jimin you are dating is the same one from kindergarten?”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m saying!” you said exasperated.

“Wow, okay…but how did you figure it out?”

“He just introduced me to his best friend, Kim Taehyung. That just couldn’t be a coincidence, right?” you said while sobbing louder this time.

“Okay, Y/N, I need you to calm down. Stay away from them, do you hear me? Do you want me to pick you up?”

“No… no I think I’m feeling better. I just… panicked for a second. I need to think this clearly before doing something stupid. Maybe later we could hang up?”

“Are you sure? I mean if that’s what you want then okay.”

“Yeah. Maybe this is what I needed for closure.”

“Yeah it may be… Call me if anything happens okay?”

“Okay… I’ll leave now, bye”

“Bye”

You hang up and exited the cubicle in which you had called Jin. Once you went to the main bathroom, you couldn’t help but look at yourself in the mirror that stood at the end of the wall. Looking down at your shorts you scoffed. It was an irony really. That the same person that made you not wanting to use shorts was the same person who made you want to use them again. You locked eyes with your reflection and whispered “He won’t hurt you again! Not this time.” A trail of thoughts came into your mind, while one main feeling grew in your heart. Resentment was the reflection of your eyes.

A/N: From here on, everything will go downhill, prepare for the angst.

Ps: Tell me what you think so far :)

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lifeofbouyd · 5 years

Text

Mr. Davis

Dear Bouyd,

I wasn’t always a sex addict; after all, I started out curious and innocent just like any other girl. Church on Sundays, school till Friday and homework and house chores on Saturdays. For years that was the only life I knew and I never felt like I was missing out on a thing. I was considered a nerd for most my school years and due to that I never had a boyfriend. There were many I’d let fuck me but I guess they saw right through me. My tenth-grade teacher, on the other hand, was the only guy who gave me compliments; made me feel all important and shit. Even on my worst days, he made me feel pretty. He’d say shit like; “you’re glowing today, I like your hair, I wish all my students were like you, I think you’ll be a good wife someday”. Hearing him say that made me feel like nothing was impossible and this helped me to excel in his class. Mr. Davis stood almost seven feet tall with well-built arms and a broad chest. “The mouth dripping man” they called him. You couldn’t help but stare, even if you tried. He received multiple love notes daily from random girls offering heads, pussy and three sums. To be honest I wanted to suck his dick too, but I never had the guts to say so. I guess it’s cause I haven't raised that way; “no dick to yo face” mama would always say. Who was I to go against that? She had already lived her life so I guess she had a valid reason to say that. But still, I wanted to swallow his snake and choke on it like those girls in pornos.

I wanted him to be the one to take my virginity but I couldn’t even ask him for his number. Shit, the task seemed impossible. I noticed he was into the sexier girls in class; he’d watch their ass and bite his lips. His dick was always stretched across his pants like a garden hose which made me imagine how he sprayed most the teachers and the badass bitches in class. His name was written all over the girl's bathroom; the doors, the walls and even the mirror. He was like peas in rice and peas, a key ingredient. I was minding my own business in the bathroom one day when some girls came in. I overheard Rochel yapping about how she went to his house twice and they had great sex. Knowing her I really didn’t doubt it; she was the school’s pussy or the “come to help us” as most the boys called her. She was sexy, pretty and smart but also a badass bitch. I wasn’t the kind to wear makeup or fuss about how my hair looked, but that all changed when Mr. Davis told me I should take pride in my attire as I do in my school work. What a son of a bitch, if I didn’t like him I’d probably slap him across the face. I took it as a compliment though because he said it with a smiling face, and to be honest; I would do anything to make him happy. I went home that weekend and had my mom transform me. New hair do, tighter, shorter clothes and smelling like a Victoria Secret splash mom had bought me months before. Heads turned that Monday morning. For a second they thought it was a new girl. They looked from head to toe then toe to head.

Mr. Davis: Sammy, what happened to you over the weekend?

Me: I put myself together as you asked

Mr. Davis: Wow, I love the look

In an instant, he undressed me with his eyes. I could feel the tension fuming from those bad mind girls, most of these bitches hated me for my brain but now they had my new look to deal with. I got in a fight in the bathroom with an ugly chick over who was prettier 🤦‍♂️. My first fight in years, and I defended myself but still got my ass kicked. If I wasn’t so focused on protecting my face I could have won the fight. I didn’t wanna go home with a swollen face after leaving like a princess. I had aches for day. Mr. Davis and I grew closer over the next few days as I stayed back in extra class each evening. I had no reason to stay back because I was damn good at my work. It was the only way I could get some extra attention; after all, it was free. I was dying to feel his wrath. I thought of all the ways I’d let him fuck me and all the things I’d do to him but I never had the guts to approach. I didn’t even have his number. The only thing I had was his class three times a week, and wild sex thoughts of him in my head. Most the chicks had already got his number and some even got his dick. Given the odds, I realized I was moving too slow. I needed a plan and I needed it quick. He knew I was into him and he knew I loved to read so occasionally he’d suggest a book for me then ask me to summarize for the class.

Mr. Davis: Sammy, I brought one of my personal Favourite’s for you today. Please collect it before you leave.

Now normally, he’d give me the book right there in class but this time was different. He waited until everyone left before digging down his one strapped leather bag 💼.

Mr. Davis: Sammy, you can't afford to get caught reading this book, and if you do get caught you never got the book from me.

He took my bag and slipped it in. You have the next two weeks off for the Easter holiday. Read it and let me know what you think. I didn’t even see the cover when he slipped it in, and I felt way too nervous to take it out and check. Why did he say that, could he be joking or did he want to see if I was a coward? Either way, I had to wait till I got home to find out. Curiosity became my best friend. I guarded my bag as my life depended on it. One sudden movement and I’d pop a cap in a “nigga”. As soon as I got home I opened my bag to view the book. My eyes popped when I saw the image on the cover; a girl in nothing but her bra on. Her womanliness was exposed and the title read, “How to Catch a Man”. I had never been so shocked in my life. No wonder he said what he said. I couldn’t help but laugh as I was so confused by this strange book. I was still a virgin, not even a kiss to my lips. Sigh, it’s not like he’d ever say anything to me like he wanted us to be together or anything, so why this book? I was confused. My body got tingly, butterfly tummy and cold chills. The first story had me hornier than I had ever been in my life. I had to sleep with a pillow between my legs. Jessica’s fantasy was getting fucked in the bathroom of a flying plane. To me, that’s just intense. She explained how she’d suck his dick, then stuff her head in the toilet and have him strike her hard. “I wanna push him off then suck his dick till he cums in my face, droplets down my throat”. That line alone was worth the read. My mind ran wild imagining Mr. Davis driving me and swallowing his babies. I spent my two weeks reading and dreaming. My appetite was supersized with the urge of losing my virginity to Mr. Davis. I had no idea how I’d do it but I sure as hell was not gonna miss the opportunity.

I got myself all dolled up for school the following week. I had planned to blow his mind one way or another if you know what I mean. I stayed back for extra class one evening with intentions of getting his number to pass on my feedback about the book, and probably beg some dick. I waited until I was the last person in the room before I uttered a word to him.

Me: I read the book.

He looked around to see if anyone had heard before answering.

Mr. Davis: What book?

Me: 😳 what is he really asking me, is he senile or something? I didn’t know what to say so I just kept staring at him as if I was lost.

Mr. Davis: 😏 I bet you liked it. If you’re finished I’d like to have it back.

I stood there staring at him wondering if someone had switched the book. He walked over to me slowly and reached for my bag, but I grabbed it.

Mr. Davis: Can I have my book, please?

Me: What book?

Mr. Davis: The book I gave you to read Teo weeks ago, the same book you just said you read. I hope you didn’t misplace it.

Me: What kind of book was it?

Mr. Davis: A sex book.

A smile slid across my as if I was the joker. I handed him the book and he started asking a few questions. Having him that close to me made me drip like a pipe. I kept staring at his lips while he spoke, I wanted to kiss him so badly. I grabbed him by the neck and laid one on him. I had never kissed anyone before, but I had years of practice kissing my hand. I opened my eyes to see him shocked; with a what the fuck just happened kinda face. He was looking at me as if had broken his car windshield or thrown his phone in water.

Mr. Davis: Are you ok, why would you do that?

I felt so ashamed I held my head down and grabbed my bag to walk away. He grabbed me by the shoulder and shouted, “sit down”. My nerves trembled as I’d never heard him with that tone. He closed the door then sat on the desk next to me. I wondered what was about to happen. I felt as if he was gonna give me a good cussing. He stared at me in silence for about a minute. His eyes trembled and he seemed a bit uneasy. To my surprise, he grabbed me by the neck and kissed me. Instantly my body gave in. I was sent afloat to cloud nine and he hadn’t even done anything yet. My eyes remained shut even when he stopped. My legs vibrated and my heart was beating like a drum.

Mr. Davis: I hope I don’t let you do anything you don’t want to do. If you want me to stop just let me know.

What the fuck was he saying? I needed his sick deep inside me, in my mouth and all over my face. I didn’t even answer him I jumped up and rolled his zipper down, trying to take his dick out. He grabbed my ass and ran his tongue in my ears and down my neck. By the time I flipped it out, it was rock hard, pointing up in the air and jumping as if he was cumin. I stroked it slowly with both hands and watched the head flick in and out. I just had to put it in my mouth. I ran my tongue over it like those girls with the banana 🍌 on YouTube before going throat deep. You know that feeling you get when the toothbrush goes too far while brushing your teeth? That’s how I felt as if I was gonna die. He looked at me and smiled; grabbing on my tits. I was wetter than the sea. I kept stroking and sucking till my mouth got tired. He slid my zipper down with his right hand while taking off my clothes with the left. As much as I wanted to fuck him I sure as hell didn’t want to get caught with my clothes off. I laid flat on his table and had him shift my undies instead. He rubbed his dick up and down, passing my tight entrance. “Slippery”, he whispered and smiled. If I hadn’t known better I would have thought I pissed myself. He stuck his tongue in my ears and slapped my pussy with his hard dick. I was dying for him to go balls deep. Kisses on my neck and a wet tongue running all over my cheeks. I exploded from the excitement I was feeling. He slid the head inside my creamy heaven and watched it run to his balls before stroking me sweet and tender. I trembled like a leaf in the wind. Front way, back way, sideway. I was getting dick for days. We fucked until I was numb, but even then I didn’t want to stop until he bust a nut. Out my pussy and in my mouth his dick went. Squeezing his pecks, scratching his balls and grabbing his ass. “Drip, drip, drip” went his kids down my throat.

It tasted like spoiled soursop or maybe it’s because I ate that “sour sour” a little before 😂. We were about to start again when the janitor pushed the door. Nigga turned Bruce Lee, acting like he was doing press ups. 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30. I couldn’t help but laugh although I was mad she interrupted my dick session. I smiled all the way home feeling like I had accomplished a mild stone. I had never gone home that late before and caused more drama than pleasure. I could hardly explain myself to my mom and that earned me several slaps across the face. I went to school the next morning looking like I had a conflict a beehive. Again, I became the class clown. And after giving him such high standard A+ pussy, I thought the nigga would have picked up for me. He acted like he didn’t know me and even made fun of me. I hated him so much, I didn’t even remember he had taken my virginity.

I bumped into him today and god damn, I wanna suck his dick all over again 🙄😔🤦‍♂️. I took his number but I don’t even know what to text and say. Fuck you Bouyd lol, do not judge me and do not post my name 😂. I want to fuck him so bad. “Bun mi man fi Christmas”

Yours truly,

Jade ❣️

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mythicthread · 2 years

Text

evening// 4.21

We buried my aunt one month ago today.

I had a long list of chores and things to do before company comes this weekend, but my period stopped all that productivity in its tracks this morning. I spent much of the morning in bed before getting up and trying to be useful, only to end up back in bed by 2pm. K had a group mixer thing in town to attend-- well, we were both invited, but I knew this morning that I was gonna have to sit this one out. I asked him to apologize to the group for me and explain that I was feeling too under the weather to socialize today.

Other than sleep, I haven't done a thing except sit around and watch Russian Doll season 2 on Netflix. It's been a comfort show for me ever since season 1 premiered, and season 2 was a balm I didn't know I needed for this day (because of course I watched it all in one sitting). I was planning on cooking dinner tonight, but K looked me in the face before he left for his meeting and said, "you don't look like you wanna cook… Want me to pick up something?" And I think he was right. I never gave a straight answer on whether or not that was true, but it's just now 7pm and I've made no move to get in the kitchen. Plus, by the time K gets back it'll probably be close to 9 and we won't want much more than a snack anyway, knowing us.

I've also been playing Kingdom Hearts again… it was always one of my favorite comfort games growing up, and of course I still play it now, 20 years after its release. The series gets a little wonky and hard to follow, but that doesn't stop it from having an engaging story and being fun to play. It's really helped me focus on something other than all the bad things running circles around my mind these days.

I think I can feel the creative spark coming back little by little. I feel driven to push toward writing fiction again, as well as practicing tarot and more of the craft that I've let go by the wayside lately. I want to get back to focusing more on my spiritual self as well, and not let the mundane world permeate my thoughts and my life as much as it has these last few weeks.

Everything will come back in due time. I'm sure of it.

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clown-bait · 6 years

Text

29 Neibolt ST (Monster Roommate AU) Chapter 9

Hi friends! Heres Chapter 9! Got inspired by that post awhile back about Africa by Toto being played in the sewer and Penny jamming to it. Leech is a huge music connoisseur so I head cannon that she plays a lot of Guitar Hero with Freddy. Also theres slapstick/horror comedy in this one! The story is going to get more and more comedic from here because of the characters that are soon to be involved. Bonus points if anyone can guess which monster(s) I plan on bringing in next!

Warnings: Fluff, Horror, Alcohol

chapter 9

Africa

Pennywise climbed the basement stairs of the Neibolt House in annoyance. Leech hadn't come to see him yet today and as much as he hated to admit it her visits had become the highlight of his day especially when she had the weekend off to spend all her time with him. he had noticed that the more he was around her the more her scent changed, it was something that initially drew him to her in the first place. Her scent started out faintly sweet, but ever since they became intimate it was becoming overwhelming to him. A human would probably describe the scent similar to that of a freshly baked cake or pie being shoved right up against your nose. When he first noticed it, he had caught her looking at him while they had been both been casually chatting doing their chore wheel tasks. Something about her smell changed when she smiled at him. It got worse that night she got drunk while watching movies with the gang. Leech was sitting next to him on the couch and that sweet smell drifted into his nose when she reached over him for the popcorn in his lap. It would get stronger and stronger as their interactions increased Pennywise noticing that he could draw it out of her by doing certain things like putting his hand on her shoulder, or giving her certain looks.

He tried desperately to cope with the strange new feelings, he stopped eating for a bit and avoided her as much as possible. When Dracula finally confronted him he was a confused mess and he was even more confused when the elder vampire helped him realize that this new feeling was lust. After Chucky found out about his terrible affliction the two had begun bugging him non stop about it. Their “helping” him ending up feeding his obsession and he eventually gave in, fully accepting that he had feelings for this nearly human girl. These awful feelings are even worse now having started this…..complicated thing. He found himself with a whole new mess of emotions that he had no idea what to do with other than bury them deep and hope she didn't notice.

When usually he found her Leech would be listening to music or messing with her phone in her room where he'd promptly scare her before flopping down onto her bed to annoy her further. Today however he could hear her shouting passionately at Freddy in the living room, a hobby that they both shared.

“Your ass is mine Kruger I spent an entire week perfecting this solo.”

“Sweet cheeks you weren't even born when this song came out”

The two were in front of the old tv violently playing with fake guitars in their pjs. Leatherface was behind them gleefully hitting a toy drum-set and Dracula sat amused on an old chair.

“Does anyone want to explain this to me?”

“I don't quite know what it is but they have been at this for at least 12 hours now” the vampire exclaimed motioning for the clown to join.

“Have they even slept?”

“I do not think they have, my young apprentice hasn't even fed or bathed yet. Her determination to crush my roommate at this strange musical game is quite admirable.”

“Speaking of, Drac need refreshments!” Freddy called over his shoulder as the song Free Bird headed into its big solo.

“You cant do that! I haven't had anything to eat all day!”

“You’re just mad because you're all alone in this battle. THERES NO ONE TO SAVE YOU LEECH GIVE UP” Freddy shredded on the rock band controller aggressively

“Bite my nearly undead ass Freddy”

“I’m sure the clown does that plenty for you already bitch.”

Pennywise cleared his throat.

“Oh hey Pen, you wanna be a peach and get me some fuel.” Leech said glancing over her shoulder.

“Do I look like your servant? You're perfectly capable of getting it yourself you're just too lazy to go out and practice apparently.”

“OH HE BURNED YOU GOOD BLOODSUCKER”

“There are more pressing matters at hand Penny, asses need to be kicked right now”

“More pressing matters than not starving to death?”

“I’ll live”

“Barely. You look half dead, go sleep”

“Sleep is for the weak” she said turning to him with an absolutely feral look on her face.

“You're taking a break” the clown said as he scooped her up before she could protest. He carried her off to the bathroom where he turned on the shower and pushed her in still wearing her clothes.

“PENNYWISE what the hell!”

“Get clean.”

“But?

“No you can kick Freddy’s ass later” he crossed his arms and watched her expectantly.

“Um….. are you gong to leave?”

“Need to make sure you listen dear. Come now out of those wet clothes.” he said with a lusty tone, shit eating grin now forming on his face. Leech rolled her eyes and shut the curtain causing the clown to groan in disappointment. He nearly began to leave when the curtain reopened he turned back around quickly. Leech was now holding her wet clothing in a nice little ball and a drop of drool left the clowns lips at the sight.

“Hey Penny~” she said with a seductive voice

“Y-yes?”

“Hang these out to dry douchebag” she chucked the ball at his head wet clothes landing smack on his face before the curtain shut again.

“you torture me.”

“Its my favorite hobby.”

Pennywise growled in annoyance and left to find some extra hangers. He knew he kept some somewhere in his clown room where he kept a collection of circus memorabilia. When he opened the door and was greeted with a puff of dust causing him to scrunch his nose in annoyance it'd been a while since he was up here “I’ve been slacking off” he thought aloud to himself as he rummaged for hangers. After finding what he was looking for he decided to try to tidy the place up a bit grabbing a mix tape he had acquired from some poor soul standing outside his ex girlfriends window with a boombox. The clown never really liked the songs on the tape at first but lately they've been growing on him due to….certain circumstances. A few cheesy love songs had gone by and he was halfway done, Pennywise felt himself getting carried away with the current song playing singing along while dusting off an antique mannequin. He removed the clown wig from its head glancing fondly at it now as it was reminding him of a certain almost-vampire a few doors down. The clown found himself serenading it as if it was actually her, picking it up and beginning to dance to the song Africa by Toto. Freddy walked by the door just in time and froze to watch the scene unfold before him in amusement. “My darling little Leech you know I have grown quite fond of you” the clown growled into the mannequins cheek. Freddy had to bite down on his hat to keep quiet. “Whats that? You've fallen for me as well?” The clown dipped the mannequin down kissing its chest as the song came to an end. Freddy gave him a round of applause wiping away fake tears doing everything he could not to explode in laughter. “That was beautiful Jingles.”

Pennywise dropped the mannequin. “H-how long were you s-standing there for?”

“How long have you been in love?”

“I’m not in love. I don't love.”

“You just admitted it to your doll there jackass.”

“WAIT HE FINALLY SAID IT ALOUD?” came Chucky’s voice from down the hall

“NO I DID NOT AND SHUT UP PLEASE”

“This is great, I'm going to tell Dracula he's going to flip out.” Freddy began running for the stairs

“I wish those kids actually killed me in the 80s.” Pennywise mumbled

Just then a scream of terror could be heard from the bathroom followed by a series of curses of the clowns name. “PENNYWISEEEE”

Freddy and Chucky both came back out to look at him.

“What? I'm not doing anything?”

The three monsters eyes grew wide.

“oh no…. I'm not doing anything….” The clown whispered

He bolted to the bathroom busting down the door “LEECH! What hap-” he slipped on a puddle of…. something and comically landed on his back. When he sat up she was covered in a weird black sludge that was shooting out of the shower head and bath tub faucet. The curtain had been yanked off and she was using it as a shield from the strange substance.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT” yelled Chucky

“Also, nice butterfly tattoo under your boobs there Leech” Freddy added

“Its a moth!” Penny said from the floor.

“CAN WE FOCUS ON THE GOO PLEASE?? PEN MAKE IT FUCKING STOP”

“I told you I'm not doing it!”

Leech flopped out of the antique bathtub still clutching the curtains to herself and scrambling backwards into Pennywise as the tub began to overflow.

“AH Leech! You’re getting it all over me!” he yelled .

“PEN STRANGE BLACK GOO IS EXPLODING FROM OUR BATHTUB AND SHOWER HEAD. YOU LIVE IN THE SEWER! STAINS SHOULD BE THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES.”

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOUR SINK CLOWN” came a scream from downstairs flowed by frantic stomping up the stairs from both Leatherface and Drac

All the boys plus Leech were now staring at the massacre that was the upstairs bathroom.

“JINGLES MAKE IT STOP” screamed Chucky

“I CANT I’M NOT DOING IT”

“DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIFF WILL DO TO ME IF SHE COMES HOME AND FINDS ALL HER BATHROOM SHIT COVERED IN BLACK SLUDGE. I. WILL. DIE.”

Leech reached a trembling claw up to her head and pulled out what looks like a piece of scalp with long hair still attached to it her eyes began to grow wide in horror.

“IS THIS HAIR? WHY IS THERE HAIR IN IT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT” Leech turned around and grabbed Pennywise ruffles.

“DO NOT LET IT GET ON ME THIS IS AN ANTIQUE OUTFIT” shrieked Dracula

Leatherface was hooting and crying. He Began smashing a hole in the wall in panic. Chucky did his best to calm him but ended up being thrown down the hall screaming out in pain.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR HOUSE CLOWN” Freddy was shouting.

“EVERYONE SHUT UP AND STOP BEING AFRAID I CANT FUCKING THINK WITH ALL THIS FEAR IN THE ROOM”

“YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT FOOD AT A TIME LIKE THIS??? WE ARE GOING TO DROWN IN BLACK GOO THAT HAS PIECES OF SCALP IN IT! I’M THE ONLY ONE HERE THAT CANT RESURRECT YET! IM GOING TO DIE PEN! IM GOING TO FUCKING DIE!” Leech started hyperventilating and twitching claws out now tearing at the fabric of Pennywise’s costume.

Everyone was frantically “trying” to do something to stop the sludge oozing out of the bathroom Freddy ran up to the shower with a towel in an attempt to plug it up, Dracula was backed up against the corner on the ceiling, Chucky was attempting to stand back up after being thrown like a rag doll and Leatherface was chucking anything he could at the bathroom (mostly hitting Freddy.)

“SHUT UP ALL OF YOU” Pennywise roared rising to his feet, a door materialized behind the clown and he disappeared into it slamming it shut.

“YOU FUCKER! YOU CANT LEAVE ME PEN. DONT YOU DARE ABANDON ME. GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE IM NAKED AND AFRAID AND I FUCKING NEED YOU RIGHT NOW! PENNYWISE THE DANCING CLOWN GET YOUR PASTY RUFFLED BUTT BACK HERE AND STOP THIS BLACK SLUDGE.” Leech was pounding at the wall were the door had appeared still on the floor making big black hand prints on the wall.

Suddenly everything stopped. The boys and Leech all were frozen and panting in fear and confusion. The door reappeared and Pennywise walked out sludge splattered on his costume. “Did ANY ONE here think to turn the fucking water off? No? Just Pennywise? WOW imagine that! I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO FUCKING DIDNT FREAK OUT AND MAKE THE SITUATION WORSE!!! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT???? NOW EVERYONE GET OUT SO I CAN FUCKING FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT WITHOUT HAVING YOU SCREAMING BANSHEES TAINTING THE AIR WITH YOUR PANIC AND FEAR!” The usual yellow of the clown’s eyes were almost completely red. He was livid. Not only were his fangs and claws on full display he seemed to be even taller than before looming over everyone in the room. It was truly terrifying to behold. The gang went silent.

“C-can I at least p-put some clothes on?” Leech asked still covering herself with the shower curtain

“OUT.”

“Leaving!” she and everyone else scrambled for the door slamming it behind them.

-------------------------------------

Poor Penny he’s having a hard time. I totally head cannon that Pen is a secret plumbing expert since he lives in the sewers. Next chapter is going to have terrifying monster hate fucking so get hype for that friends!

#pennywise #pennywise the dancing clown #pennywise fanfiction #pennywise x oc #pennywise x reader #it (2017)#it fanfiction #monster roommate au

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justothev8man · 4 years

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I was reading something about if you're having trouble sleeping tips to help fall asleep and one of the tips was about using a happy memory from your childhood which made me realise I do not have even one happy memory from when I was a kid. At best I have couple of very short fleeting images of working on motorbike with my father in this tiny little shed he had in the backyard.

Nothing that even comes close to something I could turn into a happy memory though, the first happy memory I can conjure is not until my early 20's but we will get to that shortly.

Do any of you guys have happy memories from your childhood? I highly doubt I am alone in this?

I'm really apprehensive about writing this in here but one of the tips is to write shit down so here goes, I can always delete it straight away.

I'm prob not going to go back and proof read this so the grammar and spelling is just gong to be as it comes out of my head and gets typed. I often spell incorrectly and have poor grammar on my first edit of things.

I grew up in a very low socio economic area and in a very low income house hold.

my mother was this really overweight, lazy, abusive, manipulate women that use to sit on the couch watching tv and smoking Winfield red cigarette while barking orders at us kids and yelling at us at the top of her lungs. I loved my mother deeply up until my early teens when I started to understand her abuse and oppression for what it was.

She was the type of women that would point out the fault in others or put others down to make herself feel better.

She was nothing but a pathetic little women that pushed everybody in her life and her children and husbands life away and out of our lives so she would never have to admit her own faults and failings.

The old man had two jobs and worked seven days a week. I don't remember him working seven days when we were very young only later on.

When BHP shutdown it hurt the whole of NSW really hard and I think the old man lost his job … I think that would of been the late 80's maybe.

I can remember they had to hide the car and we had to be quiet and pretend we were not home if someone came to the door because they were trying to take the house off us ( bank foreclosure).

So the old man ended up working at some marine company I think, working on the boats and got a weekend job working at a service station.

I remember one time he put his work shirt on (I cant remember the name of the company but it had his work company name, logo etc on it) and he took us kids down to the docks and told the guys on the tug boats who he was and where he worked and they let him bring us all on board while they did a run out to sea with a fucking massive tanker.

I remember him taking us down into the engine room and showing us around and then took us up to the kitchen and the crew gave us food.

I remember being blown away by this fucking huge ship that these tiny little boats towed out to sea and scared shitless when the tug boat went over on this crazy pitch at one stage.

Anyway I don't know why but he ended up leaving or loosing that job and went off to work somewhere else and in my early teens he cut his fingers off at work doing some fucking thing or another.

I have like these almost good memories of riding motorbikes while camping in the bush but we were never allowed to go anywhere on them. My mother would only let us ride them around camp or just up the road a little way and back, she never like us getting far enough away that she would lose control of us.

very very very controlling women, the biggest and most prominent trait I remember of her is her controlling us, she always had to be in control. I HATED her for that as I got older.

I have this memory of a little honda motorbike dad bought us that didn't go and he had it for years until we were big enough to ride it and then I remember working on it with him and his mate in the shed and fixing it up and getting it running.

I have this memory of working on another motorbike engine too that he did a full teardown and rebuild on. His motorbike that he use to ride to and from work.

I remember the first time I saw the pistons inside a v8 with the heads off, blew me away picturing all those violently flying up and down inside the engine. I think it was a Chrysler engine.

I can confidently say that beyond 12 years old I absolutely unequivocally hated even single day of my childhood without question. I DID NOT have one pleasant day beyond 12 years of age.

I was not allowed to go anywhere with my fiends or do anything at all on my own. I had to be home doing the washing and hanging it on the clothes line, doing the dishes, cleaning out the laundry of the dirty litter etc from the cats and dogs.

I have memory after memory after memory of all my friends being off doing this and doing that and myself not being allowed to go. I suffered massive socially at school because of it and never ever had a friend or mate until my mid 20's but I think I also never really made any connections with my friends at school and truly became mate because I was to busy secretly hating everyone and my life and I knew that if I did become mates with them the next time they asked me to come to a party at night or something I would not be allowed because of my mother and I would yet again look antisocial and like a weirdo.

I didn't start to develop a personality until around 17 because I wasn't allowed to be who I wanted to be or have my own opinion in my mothers house. chatting back after being spoken to was absolutely not tolerated and having your own opinion was completely out of the question. To this day I cringe every time one of my nieces tries to back chat or explain her point of view to my brother and he shuts her up and won't listen. it is really really bad to not listen to what your children are trying to tell you and get across their thought or what they are feeling to you. it makes them have to bottle it all up inside. You must listen to your children when to are trying to speak to you and / or tell you what they are feeling!!!!!

this made my teenage years the most stressful and oppressed years of my life to date.

Mother would sit on the couch and if we didn't have any chores to do or disturbed her in any way or prevented her from being the fat lazy cunt she was sitting on the couch she would scream at us to get out of the room or make up some indiscretion for an excuse to send us to our room.

My parents never once spent one on one time with us or sat down and quietly played games or did activities with us or entertained us and bonded with us

my earliest childhood memory is my mother jamming a cake of soap down my throat because I swore or said something wrong. I clearly remember the feeling of feeling like I needed to try and swallow this block of soap.

I think I was maybe 7 or 8 at the time.

I have really vivid memories of several occasions where my mother grabbed my brother and I by the hair and smashed our heads together for doing I don't know what wrong.

Is it the violence or the pain that makes these memories clearer than the others? does anyone know?

Maybe a question for a psychiatrist.

I have this really clear image of my father standing over me while I was lying on my back upon my bed with my knees up to my chest and my arms at either side of my head while he was standing over me beating the fuck out of me until I had an asthma attack from the crying and screaming and couldn't breath.

I remember how much more it stung when he missed our ass with the strap and got my back instead.

I have the most vivid memories of lying in bed listening to my older brother running around the lounge room screaming while dad chased him around beating the shit out of him with his strap and fist and the even more vivid memory of my mother screaming " hit him neal, hit him neal"

As I write this and bring back these memories i'm wondering if I should be crying. I am not. Is that bad?

As I got a little older the beatings became less in their severity and frequency because my asthma attacks started to get worse when he beat me and so he couldn't

I wonder if my asthma became phsyco-symptomatic because I knew he would stop hitting me when my asthma come on.

I don't suffer from it now.

My older brother called the Department of social service after one of my father's beatings when he had a black eye and was covered in bruises. I remember he had to stay home from school because of the black eye and all the bruises and he told me as I left for school that today while everyone was out and he was home alone DOCS where coming to see him.

They came back later in the week and took him away.

I think he was put into foster care initially and then eventually he was placed with my grandparents.

My mother cut off the whole family and I never saw my grandparents again. They died a few years ago with me never getting to see them.

I always hated that I couldn't go to the Christmas parties.

Mum could never admit what she had done was wrong in any way shape or form, everybody else was at fault.

Even my brother was at fault. My mothers poor parenting skills and the reason my brother acted out was all my brothers fault.

I had two brothers but neither of them were intelligent enough to see past what my mother was.

I was the smart kid of the three boys and I only really started to open my eyes to what was going on when I went to high school.

I went to a catholic high school and it was there I saw real parents that supported their kids and treated them with more intelligence and more equally.

I think the only time I had fun was when I skipped school for the day and went and smoked mull under the bridge with the pot heads from school. there is a kind of happy memory I think.

This one time we were under cherries bridge smoking cones and bubba ( guy named Rodney but everyone called him bubba cause that's what his mother called him due to the fact he was the baby of the family) got the munchies real bad and decided to eat one of the poisonous berries that grew under the bridge there.

Fatty (guy named Garth but he was a big boy and even called himself fatty) yelled at him " bubba what did you eat that for they're poisonous man " and bubba turned to me and said " justo am I gunna die now man?" made me piss myself laughing stoned as I was.

There we go I think I found a happy memory!!!!

No bubbas were harmed in the making of this story.

When I was 20 I fell fucking madly in love with this red haired / strawberry blond bitch named Michelle.

I stayed with her and her parents in their family home for a while and it was then that I saw a real family at work and it truly showed me the disfunction of my own.

They were not perfect but they were this supportive family that was not unnecessarily strict and spoke to each other with civility and respect in measured tones.

A grumpy but respectful father and a holy supportive mother.

Tho I had very little in common with either of her parents I entirely respected them and still do to this day 20 years and another life later. I haven't seen or heard from them in many years but I bet they are still the same people I remember them to be.

My early 20's were my happiest years to date. I had a real friend or two for the first time in my life, people I could call mates and I could go out and enjoy myself with them and have a personality and a life. I was in love and in lust. I was happy.

I think I made it through the 80's being to young to know if I was happy or not. I think I spent the 90's entirely in dread, all I remember is stress and hatred.

Actually I think stress and especially hatred sums my 90's experience up perfectly.

The early new millennium I learned what happiness could look like.

Who else remembers their childhood as a stressful unhappy time? we all have a difficult childhood don't we? especially our teenage years? or am I unique.

Writing this reminds me that even now I need to try and strive to find happiness and fun in life and try to produce the same for my immediate family.

Grab your kids and go make some happy memories with them. Do something THEY will wholely enjoy and remember as a fun day in their childhood.

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acrossthemar · 4 years

Text

Corona Diaries

2/14 - Fly to Arizona for Grand Canyon and Arielle Bach Party. People in airport are wearing masks. I make a comment to my mom about it, not understanding why people are wearing masks or wondering if they are sick.

3/2 - Patient Zero tests positive for COVID19 in New Rochelle.

3/8 - Our Boss at Schoology tells us we can work from home if we feel more comfortable. We think she’s just being lazy and wants to work from home herself.

3/6 - Comedy show in NYC. Kristin doesn’t feel well and we worry she should stay home incase she has COVID19. We go to the comedy show. The comedian makes jokes about COVID19, we laugh.

3/8 - Eric’s School closes School for the following week. I make a comment to him that that’s overkill and a “private school privilege”. All other schools will eventually close of course.

3/11 - Mom flies to Madrid.

3/12 - National Pandemic Announced & Trump Announces Travel Ban between US/Europe. Cuomo declares State of Emergency in New York.

3/13 - Mom flies home from Madrid to NY after Mara books back up flight for Mom from Madrid to London. Mom spent $1400 to spend not even a full day in Madrid, goes back to the airport with thousands of panicked Americans, gets off stand by and comes home. Mara comes over to greet mom and give her some food, flowers, and company.

3/14 - Mara works remotely indefinitely, office shuts down until at least April 7th. Mara and Eric do the NYT crossword, hike the Masters trails with Winnie, and Mara and Eric go to Japanese Restaurant with Susan, Jeff, and Matt. Restaurants will soon close. Earlier in the day Mara goes to Larchmont to check in on mom, goes for a walk with mom and Winnie, and meets up with Kristin, Kevin, and Zoey at Central School.

3/15 - Mara goes to Larchmont and goes to Manor park with Shanni, Maddy, Liana, and Nicole and Nicole’s dog Remy.

3/16 - Mara works from home. Luckily Peloton bike was delivered last week just before the store closures began. At this point all Spin Studios and Gyms shut down. Mara and Eric cook butternut squash risotto and parmesan asparagus. De Blasio announces that NYC Public Schools are closed. Meals will be served at food centers.

3/17 - Eric and Mara are watching Sex Education. Mara Eric and Susan go on trail hike with Winnie.

3/18 - Mara Hallie Eric Winnie trail walk with Winnie. Mara Zoom date with high school friends.

3/19 - Zoom date with MK, Jana, Jason.

3/20 - Mom comes over for trail walk with Winnie and we cook the Shrimp Pasta dish with brussel sprouts.

3/21 - Peloton bike, talked to Elise on the phone, walked to tennis courts to play tennis with Eric’s family. The Masters courts are shut down due to Corona. Dinner at Eric’s family’s house. We sat at the dining room table to spread out. Mara played Ping Pong with Matt.

3/22 - Mara ran 3 miles, used Peloton, went to Larchmont to work on Obama NYT puzzle with mom.

3/23 - Monday, Peloton, worked from home, played SET with Eric, cooked a big salad.

3/24 - Run, work, tennis with Jodi, visited mom, Video session with Aubrey, Elise, Kelly

3/25 - Peloton, work from home, went on walk to store, no one was there and everyone in masks. Order in sushi. Video date with MHS friends. We started a CS team fitness challenge today since no one is moving since only home!

3/26 - Didn’t sleep because reading too much news and it’s so sad. US now has more cases than any other country (82k), NY has 37k cases, and the news is really grim. Had my virtual performance review and got a 3% raise, went on a 7 mile run but tripped on a rock and got hurt, played tennis with Jodi, then went to my mom’s and cooked dinner. I feel scared every time I go to my mom’s house in fear that I’m bringing the virus into her home. A lot of my mom’s coworkers have tested positive for COVID-19. Deccico’s is doing a great job with their grocery store (limiting number of people in store, making people wait outside 6 feet apart, mandated gloves, sanitizing shopping carts, glass wall at check out. Stop and shop is not doing much and so people haven’t been going. Trader Joes NYC closed because too many employees tested positive. Everyone is panicked and at this point it is hard to imagine life going back to normal. Even if legally it goes back to normal, everyone is absolutely terrified of other humans. Everything about this is unprecedented and unimaginable. Trump is a moron. It hurts to think about how much better handled this might have been with Obama. The 2020 Presidential Election is essentially at a standstill, no one going to primary elections, very curious what will happen, will we even be able to vote in November? Bernie and Biden left, Biden in the lead, but Biden is hardly speaking up about Covid-19. It’s been fulfilling to work at Schoology during this time as we are making a real difference in virtual learning and our school districts are eternally grateful. Side note––Amazon is hardly even running! They’ve cut down on their hours and employees, and the average wait on PRIME is 30 days!!! I am going to sleep at my mom’s tonight.

3/27 - Ended up sleeping at my mom’s on Thursday night. Took a work meeting from my mom’s then went back home. First dropped off my right AirPod at a FedEx drop off but you had to touch the box. Tried to do a Peloton class at home but Winnie got into my medicine bag and we found her with an empty laxative and ambien pill container. We took her to emergency vet and had them induce vomiting. We were terrified we killed her. Turns out she didn’t eat any pills and we ended up finding all of the pills when we got back from vet. Poor Winnie. Silly $300 at vet. Pet insurance is dumb because it has such a high deductible. I then went on a walk with Winnie because it was 64 degrees out. Eric and I cooked a fancy meatloaf for dinner and finished Sex Education. I made a lovely cocktail.

3/28 - Weekends don’t feel all that different from weekdays. Trump is discussing a mandatory quarantine on all New York residents since there are now 45,000 confirmed cases (many more unconfirmed). Reading the news is scary and I have been trying to limit it at night because it gives me insomnia and anxiety. Most of my friends aren’t seeing their parents at all. It’s gross out today. I did a few Peloton classes and started Little Fires Everywhere. It was a book turned into a movie but because movies are closed they released it as a TV series on Hulu. Just stepped out of the house for the first time today to take Winnie on a short walk. My team at Schoology is doing a fitness challenge to get some steps in because it’s HARD to find reasons to move! We were going to go to the Shear’s for dinner tonight but Susan had a headache this morning so to be safe we aren’t going. This is the crazy world we are currently living in. I’ve been mostly only wearing sports bras not real bras. We have not been able to locate lysol wipes in weeks. Note to self, I’d like to add some photos here because this really is all so unprecedented and it’s hard to put into words the craziness.

3/29 - Working out every day but gaining weight. Watched Little Fires Everywhere - LOVE it. Gross day out. Peloton inside. Zoom Call with Kristin, Oliver, Parker, Mom. Went on a walk around the apartment. Weekends are worse than week days because no work to do.

3/30 - Work is crazy because Schoology crashed since too many people on the platform. Did lots of Peloton Spin. Amanda moved her wedding to 2021. We are very worried about ours. I haven’t been sleeping. Went to visit mom with Winnie in afternoon for a walk. Passed neighbor Kelly but we couldn’t let her pet Winnie because not supposed to have other people pet your dog. We had a meeting with the Rabbi for our wedding. She is hopeful for July because she can’t stand the thought of not being able to send her kids to sleep-away camp haha. Started this dumb show Tiger King, everyone is watching it. About a man who keeps tigers in his house.

3/31 - Schoology crashed again. Too many users. Work has been busy but fulfilling though because we are so important right now, been nice to connect with my clients. It’s been hard working full days though I take breaks to work out and to do chores so I’m a bit all over the place. Went to the post office today to return a dress for my mom because I won’t let her go, all stood 6 feet apart and I feel scared to breathe in public now. It’s so bad in NY and the Daily Podcast is scaring me.

4/1 - Work has been stressful because of the Schoology outages because everyone is doing school on Schoology now. Went to Deccico’s at lunch to do a big grocery shopping (we are trying to limit grocery store to once max twice per week since it’s unsafe to go). I wore a t-shirt as a bandana to cover my mouth, tried to keep sunglasses on, and wore a glove on my right hand (left hand was for my phone to see the shopping list). The line was wrapped around the entire corner and I ended up waiting 45 minutes. You have to be really careful to stand at least 6 feet behind the person in front of you. It was a bit overwhelming because we had such a long shopping list (also doing groceries for my mom), and they were out of a lot. I couldn’t find bread, orange juice, turkey, etc. Also have not seen lysol wipes in weeks. Unfortunately. I ended up being gone for an hour and a half and couldn’t even finish the shopping. Went to Stop & Shop after to finish the list. No one is going to Stop & Shop because they aren’t doing as good of a job with cleanliness protocol so it’s far less crowded. Under isolation I am 1) becoming a chef with Eric, we are cooking so much! 2) working out a lot and incorporating more floor workouts and strength training 3) drinking almost daily… 4) eating A LOT!!!!! Getting fit + gaining weight at the same time. Today was Greg Lesser’s birthday, so we had socially distant drinks on our lawn, I have a funny picture of all of us sitting that I’ll post above. During the happy hour, Caitlin Casey wanted to use our bathroom so she stepped inside, we deliberated if it was okay. I was too close to the door when she opened it and she alarmingly stepped back, no one gets that close anymore. Winnie turned 9 months today. A few other notes: our Election Primary has been moved to end of June. I will have to likely cancel my bachelorette party. Schoology already closed our office through April 30, with optional WFH through May 31st. I interviewed Hong Kong American School tonight, as they’ve been remote for months. They almost went back to school but when folks came back to China they brought COVID19 with them so now they are back to isolation.

4/6 - We decided to stop going over to Eric’s family’s house because it’s making us anxious and there are four of them and Eric’s mom is still going to the hospital. I got an actual mask and have started wearing it to the store and I feel a lot more safe. It was a beautiful day today, 62 and sunny. I went to my mom’s house and worked from her patio. Then I went on a distanced walk with Winnie and Shanni and then Winnie and Caroline. I’m getting used to working fully remote, I can’t even imagine commuting in at this point.

4/7 - Here are a few things I’m grateful for during this time. Eric, a supportive and loving partner. We get along so well and find a great balance between hanging out together and being independent, so we haven’t been sick of each other at all. Our spacious apartment and easy access to green space and outdoors and running paths. Winnie, truly the love of our life, she is just a saint and we can’t imagine life without her. And the fact that we have a “home gym” ie Peloton, exercise mat, and weights. These four things make this experience far more manageable. And of course the fact that we are both still employed and that our families are still healthy.

4/11 - Went on a walk with friends in LeatherStocking Trail in Larchmont. Was a bit crowded and narrow which wasn’t good. We ran into a random boy from our high school who immediately picked up Winnie. (We aren’t letting people pet Winnie due to Corona but I didn’t act quick enough to stop it). Anyway, turns out his brother who he LIVES with has Corona. Which means he probably has it too. And he was out on a walk not social distancing and PET MY DOG!!! I was absolutely livid.

4/15 - Cuomo requires all people wear masks in public in NYC. Cuomo says likely that there will be no large gatherings through the summer. Very sad about the wedding. Colleges are making online learning plans for the fall just incase.

4/28 - Silver lining of quarantine: I get to hear Eric’s work, not just his teaching but his deanship how eloquently and professionally he handles parent conversations, managing faculty that’s older than he is, and student situations. He is currently leading a parent forum book discussion on the book White Fragility on race and whiteness

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