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#I saw this and cracked up
transjudas · 1 year
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james is one of us
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whumpookies · 2 years
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I'm not sorry for this what so ever 😂
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rae-arachne · 3 months
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equal and opposite reactions to watching saw for the first time
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inkskinned · 2 months
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before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.
you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"
and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.
it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.
you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.
in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.
the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.
you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.
after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.
the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.
you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.
#warm up#writeblr#this is also about being ace btw#my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it#bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like#trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner#and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them.#which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in!#but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected!#> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess#> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT#i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know#but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace''#bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual#it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward.#TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND#AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE#bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex#and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs#and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex''#WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it.#not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden?#even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB#i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point#but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one#and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''
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conkeybong · 1 year
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‘my son brought us to this place. for YOU. look at him!’
‘🥺’
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kafkaguy · 2 months
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isot1ne · 5 days
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"Yeah, so apparently while mom and Rodrick were at the zoo, they got kidnapped and Rodrick killed a man."
[ID: The scene at the end of Saw VI where William Easton gets dissolved by acid, drawn in the Diary of a Wimpy Kid style. Brent and Tara Abbott are replaced by Rodrick and Mom Heffley respectively. William looks resigned with the bottom half of his body turned into goop. End ID.]
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mirror-mariposa · 14 days
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So Grian’s ore mountain huh?
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meteortrails · 26 days
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I think a lot about how we only get like one or two scenes of law actually interacting with his little sister, but it’s so glaringly obvious what kind of older brother he was to her through all his interactions as an adult. every time he pulls a morbid prank on the strawhats; the genuine joy of reuniting with his crew; his protectiveness and the way his crew’s safety comes before anything else. it’s so clear what a loving, doting, and insufferable older brother he must’ve been. you know if they grew up together he would’ve done that thing that older siblings do where they lie to you about how the world works and then just let you believe it until you’re like, 25. he would’ve walked her to school and tied her shoes for her and earnestly attempted to help her with her homework. and it kills me a little bit that I don’t think law recognizes that in himself; that the parts of him that were lami’s brother and his parent’s son are still alive and well in who he is today.
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devilfic · 2 months
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I've seen some comic panels touching on this and I just love the idea of bruce being a little stalker and you having to make peace with it.
you leave for work and then come back five minutes later because you forgot where you left your wallet and then you get a text from bruce that says “bathroom counter upstairs” because he just happened to be watching the tower's camera feed at the time.
or having to take a longer way home because a road has been closed off and getting a call from bruce because he noticed you taking turns you don’t usually take to get back to the tower. he stays on the phone with you until you get back home, even though you know he's on patrol right now because you can hear the wind on the other end.
god forbid you head out somewhere late at night without telling him first. he won't ask questions, he'll just follow you from a safe distance until he's ready to make himself known. when you (reasonably) yell at him about it, he apologizes (very insincerely) and asks what you're up to.
bruce has spent years perfecting the craft of stealth and on top of that, he is a worrywart. he's not the type to fawn over your every move right in front of you. he just... pays attention. watches. plans accordingly. if you are a loved one of bruce's, you are never truly out of sight. take that how you will, he's not gonna change
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months
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Thank you all for voting in the poll to decide who was going to be the leader of the band! It turned out to be such a close race!
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#madam lan#A-qing#Band AU#(Reminder that Madam Lan's design inspiration goes to Qourmet!)#Madam Lan may have been the winner per vote count but there were so many strong advocates for A-Qing!#I played around with a few versions of what the 'poll winner' art was going to be and ultimately decided I wanted them both.#As any good theater love knows though - The battle for leadership was a ruse. They *all* get a chance to be featured.#Cooperation was the real end goal! However I do think these two have the best frontman energy of the group.#Or at least 'crowd favourite' energy. I also really loved hearing what people thought their vocal styles would be like!#This was probably one of my favourite polls to do and I love drawing these characters a lot B*)#I'd love to spend a bit more time in this AU so count on me bringing it back.#One thing I keep feeling like I need to redeem myself on is Madam Lan's Translucent skirt. I have *not* done the concept justice yet.#It is such a crack-platonic ship but I want to think Madam Lan and A-Qing would enjoy each other's company.#Possibly also with JYL as well. They can be like mutually beneficial therapy dogs to each other.#Madam Lan never got to see her kids grow up into teenagers after all. She only had sons. Never daughters.#Even if she saw her kids once a month we do know she treated them with so much love and kindness.#She would bite the shit out of YZY for yelling at JYL. What a sight to see. A-Qing would also start biting (for fun).
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justanotherhamiltrash · 2 months
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Jefferson: Why are you ignoring Laurens?
Hamilton: I’m playing hard to get.
Jefferson: Why would you do that? You’re already hard to want.
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Perhaps even,,, pink LaughingStock,,,,? 👀👀👀
ough....yeab....
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zoreldanvers · 4 months
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#tfw you're the child of the goddess of wisdom and therefore a chronic overthinker but also dyslexic but also a desperate people pleaser but also you're twelve and have no supervision and 200 dollars to buy candy
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vigilskeep · 6 months
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“nathaniel is the normal one” “sebastian is the normal one” “cassandra is the normal one” common mistake! the word you are looking for is born rich
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gideonisms · 3 months
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I become 300% more of both a lover and a hater when I'm on my period. just a time of the month when I have strong opinions I would say
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