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1863-project · 9 months

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I've been thinking a lot lately about my experiences as an autistic adult and how difficult certain things actually have been for me, and one of the things that really hit me recently was how I can tell the patrons at the library I work at are judging me. They say things to me they'd never say to my co-workers, because my co-workers seem "normal" to them. But I can think of two different cases in the last year or so that really stand out to me that illustrate this.

The first was a patron who wanted the writing address of the governor of New Hampshire. I found it and went to write it down for her. She didn't want it that way, she wanted it printed. Of course, Wikipedia wasn't going to print well, and she was starting to get difficult about it, so I came up with a solution - I'd type it into a Word document and print it for her. I was excited that I'd come up with something, and I enthusiastically expressed this excitement by raising the volume of my voice. She decided I was "weird," told me so to my face, and left instead of letting me help her.

More recently, I showed similar excitement when showing a patron how to use Google Maps, excitedly reassuring her that we'd do it together and that I wasn't going to just tell her to do something she didn't know how to do. This patron told me my enthusiasm made me seem "like a schoolgirl." I deflated immediately, pointed out I was actually 34 years old, and did everything else with an extremely dampened mood.

Being an autistic adult in the workplace - or anywhere - is an uncomfortable experience. The first patron decided I was scary. The second patron infantilized me. The dichotomy of being an autistic adult is that some people decide you're uncanny and scary and some people decide you're actually a child. Both are microaggressions. Both are ableism. The third option is, of course, to mask so well they can't tell, and then get told "But you don't seem autistic!" when you drop the big reveal on them (if you do). There's no winning here.

I think, often, of Ingo and Emmet, autistic adults who, like me, are in the workplace, are really good at their jobs and take them seriously, and are really enthusiastic about what they do. I think about what sorts of things people must say to them, about the judgment they likely experience from passengers and trainers. I think about how gratifying it must be for them to repeatedly face trainers like Hilda, who only cares about battling and not who she's up against, because in those moments there's no judgment, just Pokemon battles. Just as my regular patrons who know me and are okay with me are a comfort to me, so too must their returning trainers be one to them, a beacon of acceptance in a world that refuses to understand.

I think sometimes about how I can't go into the tags for these characters that are just like me, because there's content that treats them the way the real world treats me. It isn't all of the things people make, but it's enough that I can't take the chance of looking myself, because you never know. It's been this way since 2010, and it shows no signs of stopping. I think about how all fandoms have this problem, about how many people experience this, and it hurts deep in my chest. I wish desperately for a kinder world in which people like me aren't treated as "weird" because we're enthusiastic about work, because we don't have volume control, because we can't mask, because we're not like most people.

I do what I've always done - I generally just talk about the things I like with trusted friends who also like the things I like. It's safer that way. I don't have to worry about stumbling upon the things I already experience in real life. If my friends find something safe, they bring it to me, a wonderful show of kindness and affection that I am always deeply grateful for.

I just wish I lived in a world that thought about how things affect people more, about how a respectful portrayal can give someone hope and help them love the person in the mirror. But every "unhinged" or "scary" depiction of normal autistic traits reminds me how far we still have to go, how Autism Speaks and other hate groups still dominate the narrative even as they fade into the background.

Everyone can do what they want in fandom, but it's supposed to be an inclusive space, not an alienating one, and I think it's good to be thoughtful. You never know who you may be helping or hurting.

#actuallyautistic #autism #Pokemon #Submas

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kylekilljoy · 1 month

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REEEALLLY don't like the eggs anymore.

The server can barely stand without them despite them not being intentional lasting as long as they have been.

And when I mean barely can stand without them I mean:

+ it adds an extra unnecessary task(s) onto the admins plates, a lot of the admins have other admin jobs they HAVE to do often playing other characters and often more than one admin plays as the eggs as well, but because they have to keep up the appearence of the eggs they overall end up draining their energy ability to do other things other admins or not

It's gotten so bad a lot of them report having messed up sleep schedules, or mental health issues, and while in the moment they get to have fun, long it's taking a toll on them physically and mentally and that's just a recipe for disaster and people have been saying this LONG before the recent incidents this isn't new, we are just reaping what we sowed and are being shown how bad it actually was

+ it's gotten to a point there are too many eggs. The first few eggs, the original 8 is all we needed and they really only started having this problem about adding more eggs after Tallulah who was only added as favoritism lore bait for Wilbur to come back to- which he never did and never was. He never was gonna come back, no matter how hard we wished for it to happen.

I personally HATE Tallulah as she sticks out like a sore thumb to me. She to me will never not be the egg Quackity added because he missed Wilbur and wanted to play with him more. It only feels like the other eggs were added after to make new players feel less left out because Wilbur got favoritism treatment and they didn't want to admit that yeah. That is all she ever was and is to me.

I can't really gain a new attachment to the new eggs as the the old eggs. Maybe the first few new ones but Sunny and others? I literally do not care about them. And honestly when I dip my toes in the fandom spaces it reeeeeally feels like the fandom doesn't either in the sense of the new egg! New eggs! Wears off faster than it did before.

Like and without the eggs the server has no identity. It's always eggs this and eggs that. When that's not the original idea the server had. And now that there is new admins I really want to trust Quackity, who usually makes good faith calls... But I'm worried the problem will get worse.

#qsmp eggs #qsmp opinion #qadmin situation #anti tallulah

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demise-seems-dead · 3 months

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@askingkyborg's main here to being you another emo chip mini fic! Spoilers for 33-36 and SHHH i know it doesnt make sense timeline wise because they go straight to the vampspire from town but shut up no they dont

this will be posted on ao3 when i fix my account btws!!

also also heavilyly implied OCD chip because yes <3

TW: Suicidal actions, ideation, etc. also minor disordered eating talk.

‘Care to spar with me, mon ami?” Chip looks up from the campfire at that point, maybe for the first time all day. His eyes focused up on Mathilde, the bird's eyes glinting softly. Of course, if Chip was honest with himself, that was a flat out no. Chip wasn't in the mood for being tactical, which is normally his thing. The only thing he wanted was for everyone to leave him alone. His brain has been on autopilot for the past two days and all he's done is sleep, eat and walk.

Chip isn't dumb. He knows mathilde is just trying to get him to do something, but what's even the point any more?

“Sure. I’ll spar, but we both know I'll lose.” The forced smile on his face wavers a bit.

Chip stands up, popping his back with a deep crackle. He sighs gingerly, and unlatches his arm blade. He knows I'd be smarter to use his crossbow if mathilde is going to fly, but it's not like he was intending to win. Chip is not a bad fighter, of course. No, he's actually quite good. It's just hard to think about when your mind is static and ocean foam.

Absently he loosens his neck, one of his habits that never ceased to leave him from years of assassin work. He always seems to have a crick in his neck, but it’s not really surprising. Chip had found himself in and out of jails, hostage situations, and attempted murder more times than he could shake a stick at. His body was a wheat maze of scars and old wounds, of torture and strain. But it was all part of the job, or at least that's the half assed excuse he gave himself.

The other part of Chip's fight ritual was coming into his surroundings. He followed mathildes movements in the clearing with lidded eyes, focusing in on the world for the first time since-...

Mathilde was moving cockily, as they almost always do. Slowly and elegant, feathers smoothed and freshly preened, it looks like. Chip raises his heels up off the ground, eyes narrowing in, trying to get lighter on his feet. His own body is different, and he feels less familiar with it. He's lost weight recently- not having eaten in a few days- too sick to his stomach from the previous weeks to even think about it. It wasn't a lot, but his shouldie hung off him in a different way. It made him wish he still had his D.A.G.A.R suit for training. His hand smelt like wild onions, and the rest of him like ash. He's been lighting the campfires with his tiefling abilities lately, instead of using his boy scout training from his childhood. Using that fire always drained him, but he can't help but be glad it helps him pass out at night rather than lie awake. He needed to sleep, to sleep, to dream and fight it off for a while. It's been his only time of peace for quite some time.

A few more seconds till the battle begins, mathilde is counting down, but he doesn't dare let the sound get into his ears. You focus on your target and your target alone when you fight. He’ll read their beaks movements for days instead of breaking his focus if he needs to.

Chip repositions, moving his left side forward. Not only is it the hand he's got his armblade on, but it helps hide his weak spot- the crossbow wounds still healing from the previous night. Barney had given him some healing in between, but in the night he'd gently picked at it. The red stains have always calmed him down, and on himself no different. Red meant alive still, red was the enemy, but red meant weakened and ready to die. To embrace the people they miss… so…so…bad.

Mathilde moves, battle begins. He knows they're saying something snarky but he's too tuned out to regard it. He's watching and commanding from third person, and that's just how he wants it. Bob down, weave right. Mathilde lands a firm noncorporeal blow to his face, and he gasps out a little, breaking part of his concentration. A smooth trickle of blood drips from a now busted lip, and chip can't help but smile.

The chipper killer. That's what people used to call him, back in the day. Always had a smile when he killed, made jokes and jabs. This was basically the same, just less lethal. A laugh busts through chips teeth, and he smiles. Mathilde obviously looks a little shocked by his reaction.

Chip plants his left foot, pressing all of his weight on his toes and not his heels to keep him flighty. He takes a slash with his arm blade. His eyes shut, but fly back open in seconds. Mathilde has a sting of blood dripping from the cut over his chest, red plumage soaking even redder. Chip laughs, and he sounds wild. A snarky insult comes to his lips but he presses it down.He can't cause hesitation, you hesitate you die. He needs to get his target.

Chips' eyes are blurry, and he can hardly make out the figure in front of him. He's used to shots in the dark though. The blurriness backs up, and a sneer falls into his face. Kill. His ears flicker down a bit, and he moves forward. The kill drive of his nature was seizing him, hands steady and brain calculated. A stab at the shadows, voice howling in his own skull. “DIE!”

Blood was splattered onto his hands, and it didn't matter whos it was. There's shouting all around him. He wants his target dead. He wants everything to die. He wants to die-

“CHIIIPPP!” a high pitched squeak breaks his brain, and the haze fades. The dark shadows reform, and suddenly he sees mathilde, blood dripping down their front and hands in front of their face, not in cowardice but in preparation for attack. An attack from him.

Chips eyes shoot down at ellga, who was the one who snapped him out of it. His arm blade glistened in the draining sun, wet blood still on it. He looks up at mathilde, and the bird gives a sympathetic look at the absolute horror streaked across Chip's face.

“Mathilde i am so-’ “Don't be sorry, we were sparing, you just got a little into it is all. im fine, barney can heal me right up-”

“Already on it” the old man blurts, but looks at Chip with a spike of fear that makes the tiefling want to dry heave.

“I-I-”

Chip runs a hand through his hair, unable to talk. He knew his killing nature was catching back up to him with carol dying, but now he's going back to how he was.

Chip stumbles a little, back into ellga. He jumps forward and turns, pulling his hands all the way away. Sweat beads down in a streak off his chin.

‘IM- i- I'm gonna go forage-!” Chip announces with his most normal smile, his fakest smile, and turns on his heel. Mathilde makes a noise like they're going to talk, but just sighs, and it wills Chip into walking even faster in the opposite direction. He stumbles his way down the hill, moving away from the patch of grass they'd been at and into the main town of vania. He bumps into every person there, and several ask him if hes alright from the blood on his hands and his face. They don't know him, they don't know he's a monster. They don't know he's a friend hurter, or that he's the reason his wife is dead. They don't know anything, so Chip doesn't say anything. He just walks.

By the time the sun starts setting, Chip doesn't even know where he is. Vania isn't huge by any stretch of the imagination, but chip is already lost enough in his own mind to know where exactly he is in this unfamiliar place. After a while, he settles, tucked behind a building and hidden, breathing heavily.

He stares at the blood on his hands, and he twitches. Chip has never been a messy killer. Blood makes his hands itch, too wet then too dry. Dirty and disgusting. As much as he hates the smell of bleach, he always uses it for crime scenes. Blood was too dirty. Filthy, nasty, and wrong. He's been nervously rubbing his hands for hours, the blood mainly off, but still feeling like it's on there. He rubs some more at it, and curses under his breath.

He hurt his friend.

He's a bad omen. An omen of death.

He's killed hundreds.

He's a bad person. An omen of death.

He's the reason his wife is dead.

He's a bad husband. An omen of death.

He's the real problem.

A monster. An omen of death.

Why does he even bother being ALIVE?

Chip sighs, running a hand through his hair and then wincing. Now that's contaminated too. Everything about him is dirty and wrong. Tears threaten his eyes, pushing into the corners and making a soft noise as they roll over his cheeks.Days of lapsing suicidal urges and injuries have snapped him into a terrible, terrible place. Softly he presses his forehead onto his knees, feeling the cool scared up skin over his hot face.

He's not sure how long he rests but his dreams are uncomfortable. Swirling memories of killings past. Bad bad memories. They never bothered him before, but now he knows what it's like to lose somebody. Now he knows how much of a monster he really is.

He's only ever startled awake by voices. Mushing noises of high and low pitches. He opened his eyes, and they flooded over with brightness. He stifled a groan, headache and ready airdropping into his skull and ears ringing like a kenku scream. His eyes focus, and he sees several balls of gleaming light, and his party in front of them.

“What is tarnation…?” he grumbles, and the light speckles vanish, the sun's last entrails covered by mathilde spreading their wings. His eyes go up to his team mates who are staring at him with worry in their eyes. He winces distantly, feeling a spike of guilt as he sees mathildes feathers pushed out of place and puffed up.

‘Oh.. uh… hey guys..” He rubs the back of his now sore neck.

“Chip crétin! Je devrais avoir ton visage pour ça, pourquoi diable m'enfuirais-tu comme ça, Ellga était inquiète, Barney était inquiet, j'étais inquiet d'avoir crié à haute voix ! Ce n'est pas si mal, je vais bien, c'est bien!” mathilde scolds in panicked sounding French, grabbing Chip by the collar of his hoodie and yanking him up.

Ellga huffs. “Why’d you run off? It's fine! You two were having fun! It was a play fight. It's not real! Mathildes is not dead- well, they are, but it's unrelated!”

“I-” chip sighs heavily, shutting his eyes a bit. “You're right. Sorry. I guess…” chip searches for the words in his head, scrambling to think of what to say. Tiredness flushes over him in a wave, and he lets out a sigh, throwing his hands up. He lets his head embrace the wall behind him, and his horns click on it.

‘I'm just.. I'm just so..so..tired.” he gives. “I didn't mean to hurtcha’ mathilde, I just got lost in my own head. Guess my…killer ways are catching up with me…” “Well you’d never intentionally hurt any of us. You told me coming into town that you're a good assassin.” Barney tries to encourage, but chips heart falls. “Yeah, well…is there really such a thing?I'm still a murderer” he chokes, and his body tingles with the feeling of blood splats from past kills all surging up and bubbling under his purple skin.

“Nonsense. Words are all made up, mon ami. One isn't worse than another. An assassin is a profession, and a murderer is apparently a death sentence to ‘za living. It dos’ant matt’ar! Those titles don't dictate who you a’hre, the people who love you do. And I say you're perfectly fine. We all do bad t’ings sometimes.” Chip sighs at mathildes word, ever wise in their later later years. “I suppose.” he says, not at all convinced. Ellga frowns, and it makes Chip want to bury his head in the vanian dirt. She turns to the alchemist, who Chip had almost forgotten about.

“Mr alchemist, do you have any cures for sadness?” “Not…quite, ellga, but i have somethings that may help, if chip here is willing.” The room pauses, and all eyes form onto Chip. “Awh, what da heck..?”

“Give me your arm blade.”

“What?” Chip stares at Robert like he's crazy. “Just hand it to me.” Chip sighs, and unties the arm band to it and tosses it over to the alchemist, who catches deftly. He looks at it for a moment, and then tucks it into his bag.

“How's that supposed to help? That's my best stealth weapon.'' Chip finds himself grumbling.

“Exactly. That way if you try to hurt yourself, you don't have anything silent to do it with.”

“Oh.” He momentarily wants to fight off the claim, but the arrow wounds in his foot and his lower neck burn with a shot of pain to remind him.

“Okay.”

“Besides that-” Robert continues momentarily, digging around in his bag, tophat sliding down his head, “I've got a potion I want you to try. It should help.”

He extends out a vial filled with a shimmering blue liquid. Chip extends a gloved hand, and takes it. He removes the cap with a pop, and tips it back. He drains the liquid in a quick motion, and wipes the corner of his mouth.

“I don't feel any different. I just feel really tired and useless, mainly.” He says, and his head flinches back at his own words. Robert smiles, and taps the vile.

“Truth telling serum. Now you can't hide anything from us.” he pats his shoulder as he chuckles.

Chip goes to scold, but realises everything would get turned on its head when he says it.

Mathilde snickers. "There isn't any way to heal depression with a potion, but now our too clever rogue cant hide anything from us.”

“You guys are my favourite people.” chip sighs, exasperatedly. Ellga squeezes his hand.

“Come on, let's go to the vampspire. Maybe seeing my home will cheer you up.”

“Yeah… maybe it will.”

#tales from the stinky dragon #stinky dragon pod #chip haney #barney farney #mathilde confiseuse #ellga von brath #mini fic

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sitp-recs · 1 year

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hello! I love your recs so much, and have found some of my most favorite drarry fics and characterizations through your lists :)

I think I want to write my first drarry fic and it will include them as parents (of scorp and teddy) but I haven’t read any next gen canon (bc jkr avoidance) and have only occasionally encountered scorp and teddy in fic.

I’m wondering if you have any recommendations for fic that you think do a great job with the characterizations of Scorpius and Teddy so I can do them justice without checking out the source material!! In what I want to write they’ll be early hogwarts age so like 11-14 or 15, but I’d also love to read them at other ages that will help me get a strong sense of who they are. Thank you so so much!!!

Hi anon! How exciting, I’m so happy that you’re getting ready to start your own fic! I hope you have lots of fun writing it. I admit that I haven’t read many kid fics (especially with little kids) but I do love Scorpius and Teddy as characters, so I’m sharing below some of my favourite characterizations in fic. Good luck with your fic, can’t wait to read it!

Kid/Teenager:

Dragon Wings and Flying Things by rillalicious (NR, 6k)

The Annual Broom Race of Sweden is headed through the Swedish Short-Snout dragon reservation. Charlie has arranged for Harry to bring Teddy. In the midst of all the excitement, Harry finds out that one of the most famous Dragonologists in recent history is someone very familiar.

A Hippogriff for Christmas by @xanthippe74 (G, 6.4k)

Draco is desperately trying to fulfill four-year-old Scorpius’ dearest wish for Christmas: a visit with a real Hippogriff. Harry is desperately trying to be left alone, safely tucked away from the attention of the wizarding world as Hogwarts’ Keeper of the Keys and Grounds. It might take more than a father’s persistence to convince Harry to help make Scorpius’ Christmas dream come true.

Our Ordinary Days by Lomonaaeren (M, 8.4k)

Two men, both fathers of sons, meet in a bookshop. And the rest is the kind of history that doesn't make history.

Little Talks by Femme and noeon (E, 11k)

Draco's been shagging the Head Auror for months now, and he's sure it's just a fling. Until Harry asks him to a Quidditch match, that is, and things go horribly wrong.

Take the Moon by @tackytigerfic (M, 15k)

Harry Potter has always wanted a family of his own, and when a deadly blood curse forces him into a marriage bond with his best friend Draco Malfoy, it looks like he might just have found one.

The Strongest Affinity by eidheann (T, 17k)

Trouble finding a wand for Scorpius leads Harry and Draco to something they never imagined.

The Stars Above Us by 606, create_serenity (M, 19k)

It started as an innocent day out taking Teddy to visit the local observatory. Somehow it became so much more.

Young adult (Teddy):

Meet Me at Midnight by @the-starryknight (T, 57k)

Harry was beginning to wonder if he’d ever make anything again when Malfoy stormed through the door of Harry’s furniture shop. Now Harry’s got an impossible Ministry commission to finish, and even less energy than ever to deal with his elusive muse. That is, until he stumbles upon the surreal and beautiful world of a mysterious fae creature…

By the Grace by lettered (T, 140k)

Harry is an Auror instructor. Malfoy wants to be an Auror.

#asks #anon #Drarry reclist #teddy lupin #scorpius malfoy

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blueeyedrat · 5 months

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Games I played in 2023.

Last year was stable. This year has been... less so. I've bounced between getting out more and shutting myself in more, and between trying to take better care of myself and letting small issues and stressors start to pile up. My steady job got a lot less steady, and I'm now out of work and finding ways to pass the time. Like video games, for instance. Shall we?

(2022 ⇐ 2023)

Moncage

This was another decent year for getting caught up on games I've tried out and expressed an interest in before. Moncage, INSIGHT, Railbound, URBO, and a few other games you'll see further down the list. I also followed up on some games I've played in the past like Train Valley 2, and even dipped back into some old mainstays like Eternal. One of these days I'll find time for Minecraft or Dwarf Fortress again.

I more or less broke even on my backlog this year, chipping away at smaller games from assorted bundles I've picked up over the years, but also picking up some new bundles to add to the pile. So many games, so little time.

Before We Leave

While we're talking about the backlog, here's a game I've been interested in for a while. A settlement builder in a solar system of small planets, with a quaint aesthetic of wooden ships and massive space whales. I was pleasantly surprised how much I enjoyed this one. The automation and logistics aspect is an interesting spin on the genre, even it gets a bit complex at times. Never too challenging, though, and there's enough depth and nuance to hold my interest all the way to the final stages and on towards the stars. I'm looking forward to the upcoming sequel.

The Legend of Zelda (series)

It's hard to go wrong with Zelda. I have fond memories of Skyward Sword, Wind Waker HD, and Breath of the Wild, and with a new one on the way, it seemed like as good a time as any to catch up on my library. In order: Link's Awakening DX, Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask, The Minish Cap, and the DLC quests from Breath of the Wild I never got around to. Our Wii U saw more activity than it's gotten in years.

Opinions on each: Awakening was a fun, solid 2D adventure that never overstayed its welcome, though the game shows its age at a few points. Likewise, Ocarina was an interesting look at the series' jump to 3D, but was also somewhat janky at times and it took a while for me to really get into a groove with it. (I think the turning point might've been the Water Temple. I actually liked the Water Temple. Ye gods.) Majora was a sizeable improvement gameplay-wise and played with the format in neat ways, though I'll admit that I butted heads with the time loop mechanic more than once.

I have a particular nostalgia for Minish Cap; some of my earliest memories of Nintendo games are watching my friend's GBA over his shoulder on the bus ride to elementary school. After so long, this was the one I was most curious to see if it held up. Answer: yes. Minish Cap is officially my favorite 2D Zelda, and the highlight of this little retro binge. There's a lot of charm to it, and it just feels good to play.

It may be a bit too recent for nostalgia, but I almost forgot how much I loved Breath of the Wild. My old file was exactly how I left it, and playing through the extra content was a good way to re-acquaint myself with the "new" Zelda style before…

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

This was a daunting one. If I had to sum up Tears in one sentence, it would be this: There is so much game in this game. Even compared to its predecessor, there's so much to do and so many more layers of exploration and interaction, with a wide array of smaller improvements that make it a smoother experience overall.

I wish I could say I put as much time into this game as I did into Breath of the Wild, and I did put a lot of time into it, but… some other things got in the way. Summer is when my work got a lot busier and a good amount more stressful, and this was a game I slowly chipped away at whenever I found time for it. I got pretty much everything I wanted out of it, and after the credits rolled, I put it away and haven't touched it since. I should change that. I'm sure there are more good times to be had.

Mutazione

The word that comes to mind to describe Mutazione is fascinating. It's a point-and-click narrative, light on gameplay, heavy on story and character. Of the other games I've played recently, the vibes remind me the most of Sable – quiet and contemplative, where all you want to do is observe and take in the world and characters that are being presented to you. It dovetails nicely with the story itself, which largely consists of a curious little soap opera playing out around characters who are along for the ride. The writing is some of the best I've seen this year, and gets real fuckin' raw in ways I wasn't expecting. This one will stick with me for a while.

Pikmin 3 / The Wild at Heart

I've never had the focus or dexterity for a really complex RTS, but Pikmin's always been a little more approachable. Played the second game in the series a while back, picked up a used copy of Pikmin 3 at a local convention this year, and with another one coming out, it seemed as good an excuse as any to make it a double feature.

Both games have their charms. Pikmin has a distinct style and sense of scale that's hard to replicate, and a good variety of environments and encounters and puzzles. The Wild at Heart is smaller in scope as a Pikmin-like, and hits some familiar beats while remixing some of the core ideas in interesting ways. The latter also put more of an emphasis on character and narrative, something I'd like to see fleshed out more, but what we got was still satisfying. Both games were fun, and I'm looking forward to getting my hands on Pikmin 4 soon.

Chants of Sennaar / Heaven's Vault

Another double feature – one game that caught my eye immediately, and another I've been curious about for a while. For a long time I've had a fondness for constructed languages, with scripts and writing systems of particular interest. The idea of decoding such a language lends itself well to a puzzle game, and these two approach it in different ways: Chants of Sennaar features multiple cultures in a Tower of Babel-esque setting, each with their own quirks and traits to learn and translate between, and their own puzzles to solve. Heaven's Vault opts for depth, with a single language and a vast history that you slowly unravel through exploration.

My verdict for both games is the same. The language puzzles are really cool and interesting! I want more of them! …Everything else in between gets sort of meandering at times. Not enough to drag down the overall experience, but perhaps enough to overstay its welcome. Sennaar filled the space with a mish-mash of puzzles and stealth, which felt oddly paced at times. Heaven's Vault's pacing was hit even harder with slow exploration and visual novel-esque story segments – fine enough for one playthrough, but the amount of wandering and backtracking involved makes me hesitant to go back and play NG+ to see the rest of the content. I don't have the patience to play a visual novel multiple times to see what all of the dialogue options do. The story's fine as is, and I got what I wanted out of it.

Even with their faults, these are still probably the games that influenced me the most in 2023. If anyone asks me, as a game dev, what I would make given unlimited time, resources, and creative freedom, from now on I'm going to point to Chants of Sennaar and say "something like that". I want more games like this to exist. I will make them myself, if I have to.

F-Zero 99

This wasn't the only racing game I played this year – a bunch of new content was added to Mario Kart 8, and I also pulled Horizon Chase Turbo from my backlog and spent a bit of time on that – but this is definitely the one that made the biggest splash. I've never played an F-Zero game, and it controls differently enough from other racers I've played that I had to unlearn a lot of muscle memory, but I got the hang of it after a while. The 99-player model is frantic in an enjoyable way, and races are quick enough that it's easy to pick up and play in short bursts… which is good, because short bursts are all my nerves can take with this one. Seriously this game is stressful. Fun, but stressful. Maybe one of these days I'll actually win a 99-player race.

Cobalt Core

I've been playing... a lot of Cobalt Core these past couple months. I don't jump on every roguelite or deckbuilder that comes out, but when one does get its hooks in me, they get in deep. This is another one of those games where everything just works. Great music and pixel art, fun characters (all traits shared with its predecessor, Sunshine Heavy Industries, which I also liked this year), a simple but engaging narrative, and an addicting gameplay loop that I can easily sink an hour into whenever the mood strikes me. It doesn't reinvent the wheel, but it doesn't need to – it takes a lot of ideas from games that have come before it, and builds on them to create something really enjoyable. One of my favorite games of the year, without question.

Terra Nil

As we build up, so too must we tear down. This is another one I wanted to get to sooner or later, and managed to slip it in during the last couple weeks of the year. It's also a type of game I want to play more often; a lot of the time when I play sim and builder games all I really want in the end is to build nice-looking homes and environments, and Terra Nil spins that into a puzzle game where those things are the only goal. It was a nice time, but left me wanting more – either more content in Terra Nil, or more games like it.

Eastward

This game is… a curiosity. A solid action-adventure game with a memorable cast of characters and impeccably detailed pixel art. Gameplay flips back and forth between slow-paced story segments and fun setpiece levels with a decent variety of tools for combat and puzzle-solving. The biggest sticking point is the narrative: the pacing and worldbuilding felt odd and disjointed in places, particularly in the back half, sometimes feeling like it's saying too much and often like it's said too little. Yet throughout all that, it never failed to be compelling, and I was hooked all the way 'til the end. What's more, the idea of the upcoming Octopia DLC flipping the entire game and setting on its head has my interest thoroughly piqued – something to look forward to in the coming year.

Here's to 2024, and here's hoping things turn around sooner or later.

#cobalt core #eastward #chants of sennaar #heaven's vault #the wild at heart #mutazione #before we leave #terra nil #moncage #the legend of zelda #pikmin #f-zero #bryan writes about games

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buckets-and-trees · 5 months

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Have you ever had a dream that either inspired a fic, or you were already writing a fic and a character showed up in your dream? Maybe a smutty time dream?

I WISH I HAD SMUTTY TIME DREAMS THAT WERE CLEAR ENOUGH THAT I COULD BRING THEM BACK AND WRITE THEM!

I know that I dream fairly often, but dreams that I wake up from and remember things significantly? Those are more rare. In those dreams there are sometimes clearly future smutty intentions, but not always.

There's a dream that I had a few months ago - maybe October - that I think could be a nice second-chance kind of rom-com novel. It could be turned into fanfic and star one of the Sebastian or Chris characters we love, but... hmm. I told one of my moots about it when it happened, so that's why months later I still remember quite a bit of it. Let me share, and we'll see what you think...

I'll use a "reader" pov so it's more accessible as a narrative.

You move back to the city where you went to high school for a good job. It's not a big city, but big enough that even though you were worried about seeing people you knew when you was younger, you actually don't almost at all. You settle in and establish a few new roots.

A couple of years down the line, you finally do run into someone from her past. And not just any someone: it's the boy you always had a crush on throughout high school. Sure you liked other guys, but he lived on the street behind you, and you always loved him. You never dated but became generally good friends (didn't hang out exclusively, but had mutual friends, so you sometimes ended up at the same hangouts or adventures on the weekends).

It's the middle of the week and you have run into him while picking up something at a Home Depot. He's there getting some plastic storage boxes. He's warm and friendly, and seems genuinely happy to see you. He tells you he's getting boxes because he's actually moved back home and is living with his parents until he can find a more permanent place. He says he'd love to see you again soon, asks for your number, and you give it to him.

It totally got you nostalgic and hopeful, but you tell yourself to keep your heart settled and not blow this up to be more than it is.

He texts you a few hours later and says how nice it was to run into a familiar face, but it doesn't go much beyond that.

You look him up on old socials - you had been connected on a few platforms, but neither of you are very active at all on any of those oldies. Instagram has the most recent stuff, but his posts are ages old. You do see some of the stuff from when he got married, posts from those early years, and not one, but two kids, then it kind of drops off.

Friday night after work, you get another text from him asking if you want to come over to his parent's house the next day for lunch - he knows it's not fancy, but he's got a lot of unpacking still to do, but would really love to see you if you don't mind coming by for a while and catching up while he takes a break. You agree.

Because even though you saw what you did see on socials, you also looked at his left hand when you bumped into him at the home depot, and he wasn't wearing a ring.

He's in the garage when you pull up to his parents' house in the old neighborhood you two used to share, and he greets you warmly. It's chaos in the garage - he's sorting through boxes and furniture - but he leads you into the house where it's only mild chaos. There are toys here and there in a few of the rooms. He leads you into the kitchen and says you should sit down at one of the stools at the counter while he makes lunch. It's grilled sandwiches, potato chips, and a pasta salad and fruit he pulls out of the fridge. You tried to offer to help, but he told you it was easy and you were his guest and this was not at all fancy for catching up, so he insisted on prepping with no help, just your company.

It's not the first thing that either of you brings up - he wants to hear about your life these days, your job, etc - but then he does bring up the whirlwind of his life. He had been living out of state with his wife and two kids - girl and boy - and his wife passed away. His parents and her parents had flown out a lot to help with the kids, but longterm he knew he wanted them to come back home, be closer to family. He had just waited until his little girl was done with her year of kindergarten (so that not everything in her life would be uprooted) and he had secured a new job here, and then moved back.

Today his parents took the kids to the zoo so he could get things a little more settled - sorting through what they need now and what can stay packed up until he can find a new house.

He says he's not looking to get into anything quickly, but that seeing you his first day back in town? Thinking of you more than once since then? He says he doesn't want to hold off on a future either. That he'd like to just get to know you again, see where things go.

There was a bit more to the dream, but... what do we think? Novel potential? Try it as a fanfic first? If fanfic, who would this guy be?

#aspen asks #aspen is writing

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eleanorfenyxwrites · 4 months

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SOLDER POET KING 👀 if you want to talk about it. Idk if you want specific questions or anything. How's it going.

But also. If you want multiple. My eyebrows went up so fast they tried to escape my face when I read "Nielan Brokeback Mountain AU"

Hi Woob!

I would LOVE to talk about Soldier, Poet, King and the Brokeback Mountain AU!!

SPK first:

It's going surprisingly well considering how long it's been since I posted 😂! I've been working verrrry slowly on the next chapter - for most of that time I've had a very vague, general idea of how I want the story to go from here but fairly early on I hit a stumbling block with the specifics of actually getting it to go there. But I've very recently figured it out!! Shower thoughts to the rescue!! So now that I have the concrete idea I just need to write it, which as we all know is also at least half the battle. That being said, there's just shy of 5k words of the next chapter written already, and I'll probably end up doing at least another few thousand before the chapter's done and ready to post. And also, while I'm not going to actually commit to a chapter count because I still don't actually know for sure exactly how much story we have left before the end, I would like to get it done in under 20, which would mean at most 6 more chapters (or 5 that are currently not written at all)? And honestly it'll probably be fewer than that considering how much I try to cram in each chapter and how close we actually are to the climax of everything I wanted to do with this story.

And now the Brokeback Mountain AU, my beloved! Ugh I (mentally) fucking roll around in this fic like a pig in mud so often it's a little embarrassing, but actually sitting down to plot/write it? I keep ending up writing the OPCU instead for the Cowboy Vibes since they're much less depressing (which is why the OPCU exists in the first place) 😅

In case you've missed the few bits I've shared for it before, I've tentatively titled it 'I Wish I Could Quit You', which I've realized since doing is a quote I've slightly misremembered, so I might end up changing it to the actual quote - or I might just leave it! I like the way it flows as it is.

I haven't posted anything new for the AU in a while so I hope you'll accept this very short little bit of brainstorming I had in my notes app a while back about who Nie Mingjue (he's Ennis Del Mar in this AU) would marry and why:

"Nie Mingjue is already engaged to Wen Qing when he meets Xichen. They met as children thanks to their parents and they've kept in contact, bonding a little over the shared experience of being orphans raising their brothers. They're both too practical and busy to wonder if their mutual respect is affection or not so they've gotten themselves engaged recently, and by the time they marry that autumn he comes down off the mountain, they have (separately) talked themselves into thinking it's romantic love."

And as a thank you gift for asking, some brand new thoughts (well I've thought them before but haven't written them until now) about how I think their arc will continue!

I think Wen Qing sees Nie Mingjue's loneliness and anger, knows exactly where a lot of it comes from (though of course not all of it), but she still doesn't really know how to help. She's good at fixing him up when he comes home with the occasional injury from working such hard jobs, she's good at rubbing the tension out of his aching muscles at the ends of long, gruelling days, but something in her doesn't know how to be emotionally vulnerable enough to let him be vulnerable in return. They don't talk about his feelings, or hers. They have two daughters, and it doesn't do anything to fix either of their issues, it only makes them worse. By the time Xichen comes to visit and she sees her husband kissing this old 'buddy' of his with a desperate passion he's never once had for her, she's almost relieved, under all the hurt and disgust and anger. She stays with him because she doesn't know what else to do, but she knows him now and it taints everything, it makes her feel stupid and foolish and useless and her pride just won't allow this to go on for much longer. They fight more and more and more, and she finally leaves him when she can force herself to face the fact that it'll just have to be her and their girls against the world, and maybe that'll be better than being trapped in a tiny apartment with this enormous man who loves in a way she can't understand. Whatever this is, she can't fix it - she never could. As much as it hurts, and as furious as his issue makes her every time he lies to her to keep fucking his 'friend', she accepts the inevitable and files for divorce without telling him what she knows. Nie Mingjue never misses a single child support payment or his turn to take one or both of the girls, even when she knows he's broke or busy with his seasonal work.

#ask #woobifiedvillain #Soldier Poet King #Brokeback Mountain Nielan AU #I Wish I Could Quit You #WIPs #thanks for asking 🥰

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the-s1lly-corner · 17 days

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okay here we go (I added in images to characters you might not know)

Mild crushes:

Brassius (left) and Hassel (right)

Larry

Lord Milori (still kinda like him)

Sir Pentious and Lucifer

Used to take over my life:

Grillby

Gaster

Brett Hand

Lukas

Mordecai Heller

Kinger

Adam (most recent)

ALREADY HAS ME DEAD DJJSKX:

Clopin

I used to like him before back in January, but after listening to the soundtrack of this movie again, I frickin fell in LOVE

The obsession got so bad that I’m now researching Romani history and culture, watching those “the making of (movie name)” videos, interviews (which there are SO FEW OF) of the VAs or Alan Menken, the composer of the soundtrack

I want to know everything when I like a character lol

I actually have more, but it already feels weirdly personal to confess some of them so thank god that this is the silly corner :]

SCARED TO SEND IN BUT HERE WE GO

Mo need to fear this is a no judgement zone! Also I lost my right to judge people when I wrote mpreg a few weeks ago/lh

Rubs hands

The first two!! Obligatory "I've never gotten too deep into pokemon and the only game I've played start to finish is shield, and I'm like. Partway through brilliant diamond" soooooo! I know nothing about the personalities of these two so we're going off of looks!! And I say!

Valid!

Brassius gives off either old and exhausted punk or old exhausted gay artist but those two can overlap!

Hassel Looks yummy I love me a good longhaired blonde man AND he looks a little on the older side? YUMMY!!! He looks like he'd either he a grade A douchebag rich guy or a total sweetheart

Larry! Hey I know you I saw your dick on Twitter!!!/ref mo but real talk I can get the appeal! I already know that's hes a tired working man but that's about all I know!! Hes valid, I'd give him a big ol kith

Milori looks interesting! I don't know wheres hes from so once more we rely off of looks! He looks vaguely like a broken man . I can fix him. Valid!!!

Pentious is valid but I'm biased because I also had a crush on the character!! Pathetic men are just so silly!! Probably also has my favorite design of the entire show!!

Lucifer is also valid I can see the vision!! Caring but mentally I'll man who distances himself for one reason or another despite deeply wanting a connection my BELOVED

Grillby also had a choke hold on me when I was into undertale!! I'm so sad that there werent many grillby x reader fics out there- if I was still balls deep into undertale and deltarune like I used to be I'd 100% give writing the characters a shot but unfortunately I doubt I ever will <\3 unrelated theres a surprising amount of buff bara art of him

Gaster!! I can also get behind!! Mysterious creature that hardly has any lore iirc, fandom either portrayed him as a mad evil scientist or a loving father to sans and papyrus, at least with my experience with the fandom.. valid!!

I never watched inside job but I've heard good things about it! Brett looks like a sweetie, so I can understand the appeal! He looks so silly.. just a guy.. valid

Lukas!! It's been so long since I've heard someone talk about MCSM! Obligatory I dont remember much of Lukas, just that he was kind of an ass in the beginning I think.. but I can see the appeal! I was more of a ivor girlie

Surprisingly I have not seen lackadaisy yet! Surprising I know, since I'm huge fans of other indie animations on youtube!! Going off looks I can see the appeal, he gives old grumpy grandpa vibes but I could be totally off! I like his eyebrows :3

Kinger is another valid but again I might be biased because hes my baby girl- cant wait to see more of him in future episodes especially since hes hardly had any screen time so far <\3 he seems so sweet :(

Adam!! I can see the appeal again but his personality isnt really for me <\3 hes valid though!!

AND CLOPIN! It's been so so so long since I've seen the movies but omfg I remember I loved him a lot! Yummy design as well as a nice personality I wish we got more of him <\3 VALID VALID VALID

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c0pernicus · 3 months

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I feel like I never really see people talk about just how bad the long term effects of prolonged abuse, or C-PTSD can really be in people, especially young people, and I wish it was talked about more.

I pretty much never talk about my own experiences for safety reasons, because I would always receive a whole mess if I did choose to try and tell others what I went through, and maybe that's what has made my experience with C-PTSD so bad, but its genuinely so debilitating.

The burn out, the exhaustion, the body aches and horrible sleep schedules and inability to maintain a job because my emotions and brain had really never recovered even years- half a decade- after everything stopped. The digestive issues, the memory problems, the entire lack of a sense of identity and self. The lack of want to put effort into my identity and self.

I feel like I'm chronically searching for someone that's supposed to be me. Constantly, I'm stuck now trying to validate a sense of self I no longer possess. Old passions, old hobbies, old things I liked and enjoyed- It feels like I've been stripped down to bone and nothing sticks anymore. If I have an interest it's very fleeting and I usually will drop it once I find I start to enjoy it, as if its been so heavily ingrained in my brain that peace and happiness and to just enjoy things isn't something I'm allowed. I've become incapable of thinking anything even neutral about myself at this point. I don't believe nearly anything anyone else says to me, and I feel very passive towards others in general if I'm not terrified of them instead. I lack friends and connections, and I constantly hide away from others.

I'm constantly frozen. I can't function on even a basic level if someone else is present in my home; I have to be doing what they're doing, or engaged in some way with what they're doing (Watching, observing, next to them at the very least and quietly doing something unobtrusive) or I can't do anything at all. If I am left alone I'm riddled with anxiety and my mood plummets, my intrusive thoughts are constant and like a horrible movie montage I can't turn off. Trying to lay down and sleep is no better, for years I've been stuck having to just occupy my brain until I pass out.

It's a constant ghost I just can't seem to exorcise from myself. No amount of trying to forgive or forget or let go or move on or accept has made a pebbles difference in the mountain I'm stuck under. I forget everything and anything except for what caused all of this; my wife and friend constantly cut me off to tell me that they've already heard what I'm telling from before from my own mouth, and they I know there are times where they let me continue like it's the first time I've ever told them the fact or the story and I'm simply none-the-wiser. I can't remember things I've done, things I need to do, events or recent days even. I feel stupid and airheaded on the best days, and I know it shows to others because they've told me before.

Work is hard because of the anxiety, the agoraphobia, the memory problems, the health problems. I'm sick constantly; I can't eat or retain food, I have the flu, I've caught Covid for the 8th time despite trying to be good about cleanliness when I leave the house and return. I can't eat a lot of food without being in pain, with it going right through me or sitting like a rock in my stomach for several days. My joints ache more often, my muscles are sore, my traps are solid to a concerning degree from the daily stress of just living with it all. I can't remember the last time my eyes weren't sunken in and purple-blue.

Therapists have only wanted to slap me with a diagnosis and an array of medications- none of which have worked. I've been told it's depression, it's anxiety, it's PTSD, it's bi-polar, it's BPD, it's psychotic depression, it's schizoaffective, it's DID. The DID one threw me for a loop, I'm not going to lie, but the rest were believable enough. I don't look at my medical charts anymore, so I don't know what I have or haven't been branded with by now. The meds and talk therapy never help, I never feel release, I don't believe words anymore- especially from strangers. The meds make the brain fog worse, or I feel numb, or people don't like the person I've become, or my self harming gets much worse, or I just want to kill myself enough to really try to.

Stress tips me over the edge so easily. The hallucinations suck and I resent them. They're a one way ticket to being unemployed and unfunctional for potentially months at a time, and it's humiliating after the fact as well. The last time I had a bad episode I believed there was a man living in my closet, and I couldn't go inside of it. I would hear him moving around inside, he'd yell and get so angry if you opened the door. I've thankfully forgotten the name I gave him; it was something stupid for sure.

I've become a miserable ghost, and I don't see any light at the end of the long tunnel. There is no way back to my body. I'm just lost and wandering and witnessing but never participating. It hurts the most to think of how I was before too many things piled up; the passion and the drive and the creativity. Always making something, always doing something, there was always some project or plan or thing I was doing that I felt pride for. I didn't care if I was weird to others, because I was confident in myself.

I just lay down now, when I can. I do my dishes and my laundry, I try to shower when it doesn't make me nauseous to. I take care of my cats and I work jobs infrequently. I sit with my parents disappointment in who I've become like it's an old friend, and we share coffee and reveries.

I exist, begrudgingly. That is the only thing I try to take pride in now.

#yodeling alpha #idk why i wrote this but maybe its something I can put down for a little while at least

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keisukibaji · 2 years

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A letter from Draken <3

˚๑꒰﹕Hey everyone! This is my second post in 'A letter from….' series! The reader is gender neutral and all the letters are platonic! I hope you like it!!

Respected Reader,

This is Ryuguji Ken from D and D motorcycle shop, you can call me Draken! Inupi, my assistant told me you sent in a letter recently! I would be happy to help you with my services!!

Feel free to stop by any time!! We open up pretty early in the morning and I usually close up just after sunset! Usually if I am not here, you should see Inupi and he does a pretty decent fix up job, though he prefers older bike models! Sentimental he is….

I assure you that you can trust your bike with us!! I use only the best parts shipped in from this trusted retailer in another part of town! I’ve been working with bikes for around two years now while I used to dabble earlier….

It’s been a dream of mine for so long to open a motorcycle shop….

Actually it was to have a half motorcycle body but I decided to go for something more feasible….

Anyways you should see the CB25OT I have been fixing and you’ll be convinced!! I’ll attach a brochure with the prices depending on the fix up job you will be requesting..

Never mind it isn’t a brochure just a piece of paper with the prices scribbled on but you get the point… A good discount since you are one of my close and trusted friends!!

I have to apologize, Inupi just came in and told me that the you were asking how I was doing and not for a bike fix up job… I wish he had told me sooner, I must have bored you half to death so far…..Well if you ever need someone to fix your bike, you know who to ask!!

As for how I am doing…..

How I am doing huh….

I’m doing fine now I guess... I’m finally working with bikes like I have always been wanting to…

I just miss Toman is all…

And Emma…

I have reached the cross roads in my life… Toman was all I had…. Now it has split up…

I won’t object to Mikey’s decisions… I said that in front of everyone…

But somehow some part of me regrets it….

I wonder if everyone else feels the same….

I wonder if Mikey feels the same…

Mikey…

He is not the same person he was earlier…

He is not the same Mikey I knew….

We have decided to pursue opposite paths…

Paths that will probably never cross again…

Probably…

You know reader? Ages ago when we were younger, me and Mikey made a promise.

We made a promise that we’d own the whole country together…

Didn’t we Mikey?

A promise that broke when you walked away from me….

Looks like I don’t have to keep that promise anymore…

You know when I was in elementary school, I lost so many fights….

After losing, I would crawl on the ground and stare at the sky…

Staring up at the sky, I would forget all, somehow find peace….

I wish Mikey can see the same sky as me one day….

Whenever I feel anxious, really anxious like all hell is going to break lose….

Or when I cry, cry until no tears are left in my eyes….

I remind myself that Mikey suffered more….

Continues to suffer more….

You know what Reader? I hope that many years into the future, growing old….

Even if I lose the feelings I held as a kid….

Even if I move on….

I hope I don’t forget that always….

Always…

Emma will always be with me….

No matter what….

If someone really means a lot to you reader, please don’t delay or hesitate to tell them your feelings and how much they fill your heart with warmth and joy…

Because sometimes it might be too late…

Just a bit too late…

And if you find someone struggling around you, bearing a burden alone…

Please help lighten that burden even if just a little could you?

I wish I could have done something to help him….

Well I have to go! Another customer just came in and I think Inupi’s dealing with him right now… Like I mentioned feel free to stop by the store! Don't touch zephr though, she is off limits!! Oh and apologies if you find some of the stuff I have written rather hard to read...

It must have rained when I was not looking….

Yours faithfully,

Draken

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers manga #tokrev #anime #toman #tokyo rev x you #draken #ryuguji ken #ken ryuguji #draken x you #draken x reader #draken x mikey #draken x emma #tokyorev draken #draken tokyo revengers #draken fic

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arsonistsam · 1 year

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Tagged by @yourmadnesswon thank you so much :)😻

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written fewer than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.

A lot of these are explicit in some way or have some triggering content so mind tags

Allure (only one chapter so far):

Brady keeps one hand on the wheel and the other banging on the back of Sam’s seat as he raps.“Really?” Sam moves his gaze from out the window to Brady’s side profile. “Hell yeah, man, don’t insult Jay-Z.” “Jay-Z isn’t the problem here, if I have to listen to your rapping one more time I’ll launch myself out of this car.”

Humanity 201, for Non-Beginners:

The day after Castiel comes back, Sam takes him to see Dean’s grave. The day after that he drives them both to the local community college. Sam burns red when the lady at the front desk informs them that most of the enrollment process has been digitized. Castiel stays silent behind him, like a young school child instead of being older than the concept of time. His knees creak and he feels old.

Evocation:

“It’s your birthday.” Dean picks up his head and stops shifting through his bag of tapes. “Yeah. I guess it is.” “You guess?” Mary holds the door handle in her fingers like she’s ready to dip out at any point. Dean leans back in his chair. “I know it’s my birthday. Is that what you want?”

The Winds of Time Pass Me By:

Dean’s dad never took them to the movies. He thought it was a waste of time. Spewed all this shit about expensive snacks that Dean and Sam never even finished, how crowded and loud the lobby got. He had a thick case of CDs, though, that he carried around in the back of trunk when a motel had a player. In the top sleeve he always has what he said was the Ultimate Classic. Dean’s suspicious of any “classic” that does have Eastwood in it but, God, if that wasn’t a good one. Goncharov.

Good Samaritan:

There’s a woman pulled over on the side of the deserted road. Long, dark hair disappears behind her shoulders as she hunches over the hood of her car. Eileen pulls up behind her and the woman turns around, bright eyes and brighter smile turning Eileen’s way. It’s sunset, the slowly darkening sky parts into pink and purple and orange as the fields of wheat behind the two women sway in the breeze.

i’ll take you to a side street:

Dean rolls over in his sleep. Small whistles that grate Lisa’s ears fall from his lips and lift the hair from his forehead. Lisa checks the clock, 2:34 a.m. Shit. She lifts herself out of bed as gingerly as possible, careful not to wake Dean. He’s a light sleeper and she wants to conduct her business in total private. Lord knows how much time they have left before she and her love are torn apart. Dean cannot- will not- find out about this affair.

Good Luck, Sam Winchester:

It’s cold in the night and there’s 50 minutes until the bus comes to whisk Sam off to California. He cups his hands together and blows into them, wishing he had thought to take a pair of gloves or even mittens before he ran. Sam stuffs his hands in his coat pocket. Paper crinkles in his right hand.

Compiled Blacknatural Benny:

Benny doesn’t know where he comes from. Not really. He remembers running around Carencero in knickers. Little brown-skinned boy passing between the Cajun and the Creole populations and doing odd jobs soon as he could do any job.

Everything Is Not What It Seems:

Dean brought it up when they finished reuniting after a run to the grocery store- Hey, it’s hell out there, okay? Cas laid his head on Dean’s chest while Dean had an arm wrapped around his back. “I think Sam and Eileen are possessed,” he said, out of the blue. Cas picked his head up off Dean’s chest to squint at him. “What?”

sorry about the blood in your mouth (i wish it was mine):

Sam wakes up to the loud blaring of his cellphone. “Shit,” he scrambles out of bed and flips it open to answer the call. “Hello?” “Hey- uh,” starts the voice on the phone, ”are you Sam?” “Yeah, that’s me.”

Changed the last one here cause I wanted some variety. Anyway tagging @hauntedpearl @meatmensch @thursdaysidjit @jimmynovac @bebeverse sorry I tried to tag some of the people I know write (less than 10) but anyone is free to join

#Yo #my writing #tag games

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ladyimaginarium · 10 months

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from top to bottom, left to right: three of cups, ten of cups, five of cups, the fool, the empress, the lovers, justice, the wheel of fortune. im& getting for a lot of y'all, y'all are gonna have a lot of fun in some way, shape or form. ten of cups is, like, the ultimate satisfaction card. maybe you get accepted into a new job or a new school but considering this is, like, overflowing with cups which is a water card which usually deals with emotions, y'all are gonna be having a lot of fun, maybe you're gonna hang out with friends or family members or a partner, maybe you're gonna travel somewhere with the fool card. with justice im& getting the feeling that something may be done right by you, whether it's something that you wanted justice on but that never came, or a delay, or someone apologizing to you for fucking up something y'all had, whether this is an ex, an old friend or a family member or maybe you got in an argument with someone. with the five of cups specifically maybe at some point, maybe this has been recently but i'm& getting that maybe you've been dissatisfied in a specific situation in your life, whether that's educational or in the workplace or in the family, but i'm& getting it's a good idea that, just like the guy in the card who doesn't see the cup right behind him, try to see what is working for you and work w/ that. appreciate that. take time for yourself whenever you can. i& really hope this resonates w/ y'all & please have fun when you can okay !! 🥺 additional notes: interestingly enough, justice is ruled by libra so libra season which is in september to october ( september 23-october 23 ) iirc so that may be significant, something may happen in that time period that's linked to this... omg. i'm& just getting this but are any of y'all getting into smth halloween related?! disclaimer: take what resonates & leave the rest, understand that this is a general collective reading for lion's gate 2023, love y'all !!

the channeled messages section incase yall wanted it: "you came closer than anyone", "i want you", "i left you before you could leave me", "i wish i could take back my words", "i know i messed up everything", "you don't know how hard it was to let you go", "i couldn't let you get close to me", "i left when i saw you with someone", "i want to tell you how i feel", "finding out the truth crushed me", & "i love you" the first pic is them all together, the following two are the cards more close up. this could be either a friend you either don't talk to anymore or an ex partner, could be either way. w/e the case is for at least some of yall. sb's all up in their feelings about ya. additional notes: okay i& have. no idea where i& got this from so this is random but im& getting for at least some systems in here some of these messages are for a member of your system from someone they knew in their source; take it or leave it! decks used: killstar tarot, GANGSTA. tarot, the hidden truth oracle.

#arcana.tarot #hope y'all like it !!!!#lion's gate 2023 #tarotblr #𝖘𝖙𝖚𝖉𝖞: tarot.#𝖘𝖙𝖚𝖉𝖞: divination.

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thesilversun · 7 months

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Long post - feel free to ignore

The shadow of grief of those lost, especially those before their time, has been part of my family for more than a century.

Not that my uncle's recent passing can be called before his time, he was in his mid 80s, but it was sudden none the less. At this time of year, nine years ago, my nan also passed - at 99 years old, it had been a long life. Often a very hard one, but she met everything with unfailing kindness, generosity and calmness.

Those gone too soon include, my nan's father. Killed in WW1 just two months before my nan was born, his photo remained in her house all her life. There is no grave for him, one of the many whose only memorial is on the Menin gate.

There is my elder half brother, who died as a baby from an undiagnosed heart condition a few years before I was born.

There is my granddad (Dad's Dad) and my father's younger brother who died within months of each other when my dad was just 19.

My Dad himself, gone in his 50's, more than 20 years ago now.

The presence of death, the possibility of it, the threat even, has been something that has been there for my whole life. That death doesn't care for age, young or old can be taken without warning.

With my brother's illness growing up, there always was (and still is) the real chance he could go long before his time as well.

It is the reason why I was home taught - my mother didn't want the risk of me bringing home germs from school to him. We did not mix with other children - there was only the bubble of immediate family in the very small village i grew up in.

My dad couldn't stand it in the end and left. Perhaps it could be said he abdandoned us, but really he couldn't take how my mum wishes to control every aspect of the lives of those around her. She'd already cut him off from his family, had him move miles from anyone he knew to live across the road from her family, changed his job, given up his hobbies. My mum is very much 'if he has me he should want nothing else in his life at all' She is like this with member of the family, if they aren't doing it her way, they are doing it wrong.

She hasn't had a easy life, losing my elder half brother clearly effected her a lot, seeing her other son in and out of hospital as a baby couldn't have been easy.

Yet clearly she sees my brother as a second chance for the son she lost. I'm the one who wasn't really wanted - especially as I got older and looked more like my dad. This is not a guess at her thoughts - there have been many times when she'd told me (but never my brother) that she'd have preferred her eldest son had lived, then I'd never have been born and he life would be better for it.

There is a reason I moved many miles from her.

We lost contact with my dad, only finding out that he'd died more than a month after it happened back in 2002, 3 years after I left home. I don't know where he is buried. If my mum was informed was never passed on.

Perhaps there is something fitting in having gone to work in archaeology at first, still there, surrounded by the memories of the dead. Maybe there is some odd kind of irony in working in pensions now, that they say I'm good on the phones/reception desk when people call/call in to tell us of deaths. (I don't like being on the phones)

I'm not really sure where I'm going with all this. It's perhaps an attempt to get my thoughts into order.

For any fic writers/readers who've made it through this post, perhaps in the hope I might says something relevant to writing, I guess all I can say is that perhaps this is why you won't really find main character death in my fics.

Death is an inevitable consequence of life, none of us are immortal after all, but in fiction I can let them live a little while longer.

#not fandom #but part of me that probably still impacts on how and what I write #me stuff #tw death #tw grief #how to tag even half of this #mention of child death

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wiitchkins · 2 years

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Hello!!! okay obviously your knowledge of and taste in fashion is INCREDIBLE, we ALL know this, it is ELITE AND SUPERIOR - my question is, what's your background in fashion? what influences do you consider very important in your art? you mentioned in your most recent drawing of marinette that guo pei's couture is some you really like, so you clearly Know Some Stuff about fashion!! p.s. your art is *waves hands around* i would let it eat me

Ahhhhhh!! Thank you thank you thank you this means so much to me to hear! As for my background in fashion…

I am sorry to say I actually have basically 0 actual background in fashion aside from watching almost every season of project runway as it was airing (dropped off a few seasons after Tim and Heidi left) and a long standing appreciation of fashion as an art form.

I’ve never been particularly fashion forward or stylistically adept and I would say pretty much up until I started college I was pretty. Unstylish. Anti-stylish? In my own wardrobe. Nowadays I actually mostly present in way that leans more butch and I do have a defined style I’m both comfortable in and actively enjoy, but it’s very very different from what I like to draw and design.

As the internet evolved it became a lot easier to find stuff and for the past mmm five or so years I try to keep up with the seasonal runways, a lot of which you can find literal photos and recordings of on Vogue.com. Couture is… deeply fundamentally different from “ready to wear” in that it’s often simply unwearable in everyday life, but I think the way it emphasizes certain shapes, forms, and movement is, simply put, absolutely fucking sick (it is however not without its problems as in my experience mmm some Couture fashion folks can be extremely pretentious and intolerable 🙄 not to mention the space itself is highly inaccessible, favors certain features/body types/skin tones, and is inherently classcist, etc etc)

To keep up with what’s currently “fashionable” (as in what people are actually wearing) I honestly just scroll through Instagram to see who’s wearing what and going through different tags and knowing keywords for what different groups elf describe as helps. “#streetwear” is gonna give you a different feed than “#it girl” is gonna give you a different feed than “#office fit”. I also like to scroll through instas and tumblrs that are literally just interviews and photos with random people op finds out in the world- you see personality in how things are put together in specific. What makes a look personal to them? What is practicality and what is fashion, and how much of each does each individual desire? I don’t think everyone is the same kind of Fashion Forward (or even is fashion forward) and I think it’s fun to find different niches and mix and match while still applying design theory Ive learned elsewhere. Even a character who is specifically Not Fashionable is that way in a specific sense, and could still have an appealing design. Also studying fashion at all gave me the ability to draw fabric which is a huge skill.

Without saying too much about my actual job, I am not a character designer at the moment, but I do think having this general knowledge of costume design and vested interest in keeping up current fashion (both ready to wear and couture/runway) is extremely important in my profession and wish it was more emphasized as I think it would be. Very helpful. The character design in Apple TV’s/Skydance’s Luck drives me absolutely bonkers because it sucks so much and the main characters looks like an old navy ad circa 2010. The same could unfortunately be said for our fav girl Marinette. She’s allowed to be less aggressively Fashionable because she is in fact a child, but I’d love to see a bit more attention to detail and understanding of what teens wear nowadays, let alone what they were wearing even 5 years ago. Her look was a tiny bit dated when the show was first released, but it’s even more egregious now. Not that they’re going to change it anytime soon but they had an opportunity in the movie to at least play with proportions since the jacket’s.. cut I guess and pink capri jeans are the most egregious. Maybe I’ll do a redesign that keeps the general idea/pieces in tact… idk. God. Please character designers learn fashion.

Anyway now that I’ve written an essay here’s some stuff I’ve liked and have been thinking about recently:

Guo Pei (as I said, Spring 2019 rules, but Spring 2017, 2018 and Fall 2019 are my favs)

Zimmerman Fall/Winter 2022

Heaven Gaia Spring 2022 Couture

Clio Peppiatt x Annie’s Ibiza current collab collection

Lawrence Basse (all her work tbh)

Zuhair Murad Fall 2022

Tran Hung Fall 2017

Alexander McQueen Menswear Fall 2022 and 2018

Christian Dior Resort 2023

Janelle Monae’s Pre-Dirty Computer Era

Thierry Mugler (his entire body of work tbh but rn I like Resort 2021)

Hawwa (@hellohawwa)

Jarvis Aivali (@jarvisaivali)

This is not to mention my love for pre-colonial Filipino textiles, 1920s butch lesbian fashion, charro suits, whatever the look is called with the giant oversized floral button shirt and the jeans is, bright colorful floral/and or embroidered suits, ami thompson’s knight and princess characters, and the catholic met gala specifically.

#long post… sorry hehe #fashion #ask #I have a lot of thoughts. hope this answered ur question hahaha

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ofviolentdelights · 1 year

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✦ — APPLICATION.

⟨ – josephine langford, cis female, she/her. ⟩ it seems like isabella "bella" swan has been seen around town, humming cut by plumb under their breath. apparently they are a 24 year old gifted human. townsfolk whisper about them being curious and empathetic, but also discreet and clumsy. the book store clerk has been in town for a few weeks, and gives off the vibes of the smell of new books, rain hitting the window of her truck, and long flowing hair. gift: mental shield

✦ — BACKSTORY.

isabella "bella" swan was born to renee and charlie swan at a beautiful time in their short-lived marriage. they both loved her very much but a few months after she was born, her mother and her left forks. they lived in california for a while and then bounced around towns here and there most of her life. she grew used to making new friends constantly, but she always wished she had a life-long best friend. her mother constantly threw her into classes like piano and ballet, nothing really seemed to keep her interest long enough to please her mother. bella always felt like she was out of sync with the rest of the world around her. eventually she found a natural love for reading and photography. after a long time, her mother finally remarried, and she wasn't quite happy about it. maybe it was the fact that no one could replace her father; or even if they never got back together, she always had this image of them in her mind. however, at least this way she got to see her mother smile again. that was important to her, she wanted both of her parents happy. once she graduated high school, she lived on her own (or with roommates) for a while, and she found it peaceful. she got to spend her time taking care of herself, but she couldn't stop thinking of charlie and forks. then she decided to make the move to forks permanently, or however long she would stay in the future. now, she has been in forks for a few weeks, and she got a job at a local book shop which was perfect in her eyes.

✦ — HEADCANONS.

charlie is her favorite parent — and she wishes that she has spent more time with him growing up, it's not that she doesn't love her mom because she does; but if she had been given the choice and knew it wouldn't break her mother's heart completely in half she probably would have arrived in forks a long time ago. bella still recognizes that she was the responsible one while growing up, out of her mother and herself, but she never resented her for it. that is until she met phil, her mother's boyfriend turned second husband. they traveled a lot after that for his baseball career. she actually prefers the forks weather to the arizona weather, she hates dry heat, and is always getting sunburns. bella also visited forks every summer until she was eighteen years old and hasn't been back until recently. that's all i got for now, otherwise my portrayal is generally pretty close to canon.

#**#intro › bella #bitten.intro

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