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#I really hate fandom police
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TTPD at it's core is about the slow, miserable death of a life you've imagined with a man you desperately wanted to be the love of your life and then the rush of a toxic situationship with a man more in love with wasting your time and the idea of you than he is WITH you, while you project your hopes and fears onto him because you're terrified no one will ever truly love you.
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desertsandsnstarrysky · 4 months
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I keep getting followed and stalked by this one Hetalia user named /@ragdollpie and a few of their followers on my social media. (One called
/@borzoimuffin I believe as well.) anyways,
Please if you respect the Jewish community and those who have had family in general during the holocaust block them!
They called me a Nazi fetish artist and that is basically a spit in my face. And very rude.
Because they got this way because their s/o or partner came onto my instagram and proceeded to insult my art and so I did… I did slip and say their art is an “eyesore” but you guys legit threw hands first, you could’ve just left me alone and ignore or block me, but you had to throw that dig in!
Did you expect me to not defend myself? While you guys basically went and stalked around for me?
And not only that but they are trying to basically find me on many other platforms after I initially tried to sent me a message on instagram the first time but my DMs would not go through and basically when I sent them screenshots about how their behavior was disrespectful and how I felt horrible being called a Nazi, the messages ended up not showing up.
So I don’t know why their intentions to do so was simply for pure control of the fandom, to call out unnecessary and make drama or what, but I’m not the type to make any issues at all.
So please for me. Do not engage with them if you support Jewish folk. Because they clearly shown their “pro Palestine” support by calling me a Nazi Zionist. (I’m neutral about Zionism by the way.)
And they are stalking me online. Which is absolutely absurd… like just leave me alone. If you find them anywhere in any platform, just block and disengage! Oy!
I’m not even PROMOTING NAZI BEHAVIOR! This was all in reference to how the ship existed because I’ve SEEN OTHERS IN THE PAST IN THE FANDOM SHIP THEM.
And also, the ship has a deeply rooted and complex emotional meaning behind it that HAS TO DO WITH MY OWN TRAUMA! Where and anywhere am I showing Nazi fetish at? With one picture!?! Really? 💀 don’t tell me they’re one of those “antis”
I know one thing, they sure are obsessed with characters like Greece and Turkey, whom committed an atrocities to the Jewish folk for HUNDREDS OF YEARS! So let’s CLAP BACK AT THAT … HMMM HOW DOES IT FEEL TO DRAW CHARACTERS THAT AUTOMATICALLY ANTISEMITIC BY DEFAULT?
but guess what??? I didn’t come find you and stalk you, and called you disrespectful things because you draw problematic history… You DID 🫵
I have enough brain power in one brain cell than in the amount your entire head and your little wolf hunting posse’s heads to know that if something on Hetalia bothers me and causes me discomfort, to block it!
BECAUSE I KNOW HETALIA HAS TOPICS IN IT THAT ARE LESS THAN FAVORABLE DUE TO HOW COUNTRIES/NATIONS ARE!
But you know what? I could sit down and decipher this down with you, piece by piece and you still wouldn’t listen or even be civil about it. So I’m done! Now LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!
Oh and if you have any fans who have had family killed in the holocaust, you need to be blocked by them! They need to really know how much of a antisemitic person you are! Disgusting! Do NOT CALL ME A NAZI!
I don’t give a fuck who you think you are… do not call a Jewish person a Nazi!
//slams fists on table over and over again
Do not call a Jewish person a Nazi! Do not! Do not! Do not!
I don’t care what the fuck you do with your life… do NOT CALL ME, A JEW A NAZI!
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daswarschonkaputt · 2 years
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I saw “lwj doesn’t like jyl” in your wip list and I’m so intrigued, would you tell us a bit about it?
ah this ask is so old now, idk if you're still interested, but sure, i can talk about it.
so, fandom seems fairly set on the fact that lan wangji hates jiang cheng. like, i feel like no-one's arguing that fact. but i see a lot of lan wangji getting along really well with jiang yanli, which i think is... yeah, fair enough, but my brain was like, okay, let's explore a universe where he hates her too. why does he hate her? what does he hold against her? how justified is that hate? is it pettiness? or does he have a genuine grievance? how does he moderate this, given that wei wuxian definitely still loves her?
content warning under the cut for discussion of child abuse, in line with what we see of yzy's treatment of wwx in canon, but applied to a modern setting.
around the time i was musing on this, i read a modern au of mdzs that had wwx as the victim of horrific child abuse in the jiang household, and the fic was sort of about him reconnecting with jiang cheng and jiang yanli years down the line. (don't ask me which it was, because i do not recommend it.) and i was looking at that premise, and i was like, hmm. i could do something with this.
the more i worked on it, the more it started to feel like a jiang yanli character study, almost. her strengths and flaws and regrets became a central part of the fic. i really wasn't interested in doing the slash fic demonising women thing. i wanted to write her with depth and sympathy, whilst also demonstrating her flaws (that wei wuxian would be blind to).
here's a few bits:
the opening scene of the fic:
JIANG CONGLOMERATE STOCK PRICE REACHES TEN YEAR LOW FOLLOWING CONCLUSION OF LIBEL CASE Read: After the Yunmeng People’s Court ruled today against Yu Ziyuan, wife to chairman Jiang Fengmian of the Jiang Conglomerate, stockholder confidence in the company dropped, leading to their lowest share price in nearly thirteen years.
TSINGHUA UNIVERSITY ISSUE APOLOGY TO WEI WUXIAN, SCHOLARSHIP AND ENROLMENT REINSTATED Read: Tsinghua University has issued a written apology for the “hasty” sanctions they issued against post-graduate student Wei Wuxian, who has been the subject of a month-long libel case from his former family.
“I LIVED EVERY DAY BELIEVING I WOULD WAKE UP TO DISCOVER HE WAS DEAD.” – TESTIMONY FROM JIANG DEFAMATION CASE REVEALS HORRIFYING REALITY OF CHILD ABUSE IN HOUSEHOLD Listen: Leaked audio from the Jiang Family’s defamation case details the horrific physical abuse inflicted upon the defendant, Wei Wuxian.
YU ZIYUAN ARRESTED FOR AGGRAVATED ASSAULT, ATTEMPTED MURDER; FACES UP TO TWENTY YEARS IN PRISON In Photos: As Wei Wuxian attempts to escape the crowd following his decisive victory against the Jiang Family, Yu Ziyuan’s exit from the court is interrupted by Yunmeng Police.
--
Staring at the sky When all of this started, I was so mad about what Wei Wuxian was doing. I was convinced he was a white-eyed wolf, and he was lying just to get back at a family he’d ended things badly with. I was right there with all my classmates, trending #expellweiwuxian all across weibo. Now that we know the truth, I’m so deeply ashamed. Wei-xiaozhang, I’m so sorry!!
Paralysed by the flow of time I don’t think I’ve ever listened to something that made me quite as upset as Dr Wen’s testimony in the #JiangDefamationCase. To think about her as a young med student, stranded across the country from him, trying her best to keep him alive, yet knowing it could all be for nothing if Yu Ziyuan had a bad day and killed him… And the fact that it was her that kept records of his injuries and abuse – evidence that Wei Wuxian had thrown away himself – just in case he ever needed it… It makes complete sense that when he finally ran from the Jiangs, he ran to her. Wei Wuxian, marry that girl before someone else does!
Three for free and two for too Fuck everyone in the Jiang Family who covered up the abuse that was happening. Fuck every single member of their staff who saw what was happening and stayed quiet to keep their job. And above all else, fuck Yu Ziyuan.
Three for free and two for too Prison’s too good for that bitch.
--
Jiang Yanli thinks of her life in moments, most often.
Part of it, she knows, is due to the tumultuous nature of the household she grew up in. There was a thick tension that sat heavily over their house, even when A-Xian wasn’t mouthing off in front of their mother. There were so few moments of unabashed joy that Yanli clung to them all the harder – and just let the other memories slip away.
There was one, when she was seven: the day she met Jiang Wuxian. He’d been tiny and bright-eyed – untrusting but eager for affection. She’d loved him the moment she saw him.
Then, another, at eighteen: a little tipsy, hiding from the crowds at her parents’ Lunar New Year party, when Jin Zixuan looked at her like he finally saw her, and the caught her mid-laugh with an impulsive kiss.
Twenty, legs weak as she walked to the altar. Twenty-two, with Jin Ling in her arms for the first time, tiny and precious and utterly untainted.
The most important moment, though, the one that turned her life on its head, happened three days after her marriage to Jin Zixuan.
They were on their honeymoon. He’d taken her to dinner at an exorbitantly expensive restaurant – even after a year of dating Zixuan still liked to posture. The evening is dimmed somewhat by alcohol; Yanli is a consummate lightweight, and she and Zixuan had already split a bottle of champagne in their hotel room before surfacing for food. She can’t remember exactly what she said, but it’d been something like—
“If my mother knew I was ordering steak, she’d slap me.”
It wasn’t intended to be anything more than a careless remark. She’d said things like that before, and her friends had never made it seem like something terrible. At most, she expected a little light teasing about watching her figure. Maybe a shallow smile.
Zixuan gave her neither. “Is that why you always order a salad when we go out?”
Jiang Yanli had blinked. “Ah,” she said without meaning to. The deviation from the expected script threw her. “That is…” She didn’t want to misrepresent anything to Zixuan, but she couldn’t think of a way to explain herself without making his misunderstanding worse. “You know me. Kind of a glutton. My mother just—well, someone has to watch what I eat, or else I’d never have fit into my wedding dress.”
“Kind of a—” Zixuan cut himself off. “Yanli,” he said, “you’re—you’re tiny. You eat like a bird. I always—you should eat more. I don’t care if I have to buy you an entire store’s worth of new dresses. I just want you well.”
Yanli looked down at the dinner settings in front of them and felt her mouth go dry. She shouldn’t—Zixuan was being—perfect, as always. It was nice. But for some reason, his words made her feel—agitated. Uncomfortable. Like there was something treacherous to be found in his kindness.
“I am well,” she said, at length. “Please,” she reached across the table to lay one of her hands over Zixuan’s. “A-Xuan. It was just a joke. Forget I said anything.”
Jin Zixuan turned over his hand and laced their fingers. “If your mother were here,” he said, very serious, “her hand would never even get close to your face. Even if I had to take the blow for you. So order whatever you want.”
In retrospect, it was such a small thing. It shouldn’t have mattered. But it—struck something, deep and fundamental to her very being. Her hand would never even get close to your face, echoing around her head for days, weeks, afterwards. It was the first time she had ever thought to consider her mother as anything other than an absolute authority. It was the first time anyone had ever suggested that they might protect her from her.
She thinks about it a lot.
She thinks about it when she holds Jin Ling, and wonders if there will ever come a time when A-Xuan will have to protect their son from her. She thinks about it when she visits Jiang Cheng each year, on the anniversary of Wuxian’s disappearance. She thinks about it in quiet moments, when her hands are occupied with laundry or housework, and her brain is able to spiral out and play with words like abuse and childhood trauma.
And she’s thinking about it now, stood on the steps of Yunmeng’s People Court, watching A-Xian try to fight his way through a crowd of reporters. Her hand would never even get close to your face. Yanli’s father is collapsed on the ground beside her. Jiang Cheng is arguing with the police officers leading their mother away. Zixuan is back home with their child – a courtroom is no place for a toddler.
Her hand would never even get close to your face.
It had been so easy for Zixuan to make her feel safe. She wasn’t living at home anymore. She was married. Her husband was wealthy enough to take care of them without any help from her family.
She can’t imagine—
Her hand would never even get close to your face.
—how much more difficult it must be, to make Jiang Wuxian feel safe.
There’s a clatter behind them and Jiang Yanli turns her head slightly, to catch sight of a young woman rushing down the steps after A-Xian. Yanli recognises her. This is Wen Qing. She testified for A-Xian.
Yanli watches her place her tiny body between A-Xian and the press. Wen Qing stretches her arms out, forcing her way back, giving A-Xian space. She says something sharp and short to A-Xian. When he nods, she grasps his hand, and she forces her way through the crowd, A-Xian following in her wake.
Yanli watches them both until they’re completely swallowed by the mass of cameras and microphones.
“Jiejie, say something.”
Yanli’s attention snaps back to A-Cheng. Both her brother and two police officers are looking at her expectantly. “Oh,” she says after a beat. “I’m sorry. Could you repeat that?”
Jiang Cheng growls. “They’re saying we can’t follow them to the police station to talk to Mom,” he says. “And I said they’d be hearing from our lawyers.”
Oh, A-Cheng, Yanli sighs internally. Always so convinced of his own righteousness. “We should take Dad home before dealing with any of that,” she says gently. “Gentlemen, am I to presume you are members of the Yunmeng Police Precinct?”
“Yes, ma’am,” one of the officers says.
Ma’am. How ridiculous. I’m not even 30. “Then we know where to send our legal team,” she says easily. “A-Cheng, we can get Mom out of jail later. For now, can you help me with Dad?”
“They had no right to—”
“A-Cheng,” Yanli says, stronger this time. “I can’t lift him on my own.”
Jiang Cheng cuts himself off. He looks between their father and the police officers, hesitating, before he sighs, and kneels down to hook his hands under their father’s arms. “It’s okay, Dad,” he says. “Come on. We’ll get it sorted out.”
Yanli looks around them – at the teeming mass of reporters, barely held back by their security team, at the place where just moments ago, A-Xian had staggered out of the courthouse, victorious but no less wrecked for it, at the police car pulling away with their mother in handcuffs—
Yanli looks at it all, and can’t help but feel that this is the kind of mess that can’t really be sorted out.
and the little snippet that inspired the entire fic:
(cw for discussion of injury, and fairly horrific child abuse)
(context for this scene: wei wuxian is sick, and as such has to cancel on lunch with jiang yanli. when she hears he's sick, she makes him soup, and brings it by his apartment.)
“Oh,” Jiang Yanli says, looking at the kitchen. “This is…”
Lan Wangji follows her gaze, not entirely certain what she’s noticing in particular. He has chopping boards out, piled with vegetables he was in the middle of preparing, when Yanli arrived. There’s a pot of stock simmering on the stovetop, and a steamer that’s half-filled with dumplings.
Jiang Yanli smiles helplessly. “I guess I never expected either of you to be able to cook. A-Cheng’s hopeless, and the less said about my husband in the kitchen the better. And A-Xian… I guess I don’t know anymore. Does he cook?”
Wei Ying doesn’t so much cook as he attempts to kill his tastebuds – and his husband – with spice.
Jiang Yanli hovers inside the kitchen door. Lan Wangji watches her, quietly.
“I understand,” she says at length, “why you don’t like A-Cheng. He is rude to you. I—he hasn’t figured out yet, which parts of our mother’s teachings he wishes to keep. Please be patient with him.”
Lan Wangji’s fingers pause on the knife. He does not say what he is thinking, that he has little sympathy for the plight of Jiang Wanyin. That it is simple to him: a woman who beats a child under her care is not one who he would listen or obey in any circumstance.
It isn’t his place to say such things.
“So, I understand, why you avoid us,” Jiang Yanli goes on. “But – I am not my brother. I have no quarrel with your relationship with A-Xian. You have been – good for him. So I hope – I hope we can be friends. For A-Xian’s sake,” she adds, “if nothing else.”
Lan Wangji looks down at the knife in his hands. It is sharp, and expensive, and he should not be holding it for this conversation. He places it down on the table.
“Thank you for your care,” Lan Wangji says. “Wei Ying will appreciate the soup. But we cannot be friends.”
She blinks at him. “Why not?”
“I dislike you.”
His blunt statement seems to have staggered her. She blinks, again. Tilts her head. “I—what?”
“We cannot be friends,” Lan Wangji repeats, “because I dislike you.”
“Oh,” Jiang Yanli says. “Mr Lan, I’ve never – if I’ve done something to offend you—”
Lan Wangji’s eyes fall to the Tupperware in her hands. “It is not what you have done,” he says, “but what you have not.”
Jiang Yanli follows his eyes to the empty soup containers she’s holding. “I—I don’t understand,” she says.
“When Wei Ying was thirteen,” Lan Wangji says, “Yu Ziyuan flayed the skin from his back. Doctor Wen still has photos saved from the incident. I have seen them. It is no understatement to say that Wei Ying is lucky to have survived – had the wounds become infected, he would have likely died. You brought him soup.”
Left unsaid are the events that prevented that: that Wen Qing had stolen prescription antibiotics from the pharmacy where she worked, risking her job; that Wen Ning had spent every penny of his savings on a plane ticket across China and taped the blister packs of pills inside a hollowed out workbook, that was slipped to Wei Ying under the premise of make-up work; that Wei Ying himself had applied ointment to his wounds with a cotton pad taped to the end of a ruler, unable to reach the network of lacerations stretching across his entire back.
“I – I always have,” Jiang Yanli says. “It makes him feel better, when he’s sick.”
She doesn’t get it.
“Yu Ziyuan left him lying in the dirt,” Lan Wangji says. “He had to crawl up the stairs to his room because he could not stand up without passing out from the pain. He vomited when he reached for his first aid kit, because it had been placed on the top shelf of his wardrobe by a maid. And you brought him soup.”
Wei Ying loves her for it, even now. Jiang Yanli, his jie-jie, who always brought him soup when he was sad. She is untouchable in Wei Ying’s eyes.
Lan Wangji will never forgive her for it.
“You were in a position to help him, long before I even knew what was wrong,” Lan Wangji says. “You moved out, went to university, met your husband – and for four years, you never said a word. How many times did you come back home and make soup? How many times did you see your mother’s cruelty written across Wei Ying’s body – and how many times did you choose to do nothing?
“I saw signs I didn’t have the knowledge to interpret, and I hate myself for never speaking up. It is my greatest regret, that I didn’t have the courage to end Wei Ying’s suffering even – one year, one month, one day earlier. But you knew all along. And you made him soup.”
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panuccispizza · 4 months
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anti fict people are like catholic fujoshis
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todayisafridaynight · 10 months
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Mutual on Twitter was talking about Daigo instinctively feeling the need to put the pieces of Mine's ruined life back together and make him feel at ease... Is That Not The Appeal Of AraSawa As Well... like they might not know the depth of what their lives were like before in full but surely there are some details safe to share and there's very little that wouldn't sound bleak... but it's also a MineDai But To The Left sort of moment because Mine has always felt he deserves basic human decency, even if he has to earn it, but that's never been the case for Jo... [SORRY I'LL GET TO PENDING RESPONSES I'VE JUST BEEN LOST IN THE SAUCE for better or worse it feels wrong not to write in every day at this point 😭😭😭]
i remember telling my twitter mutual that arasawa was minedai but with dads and the way a light bulb seemed to go off for her was just perfect LMAO
but on the real arasawa IS a lot like minedai when it comes to some themes, and moreover they still maintain their individuality (aside from the dad aspect LMAO) in the parties involved, ESPECIALLY mine and jo
it's weird to explain, but daigo, in a sense, was an 'end goal' for mine. maybe not in THAT way, but just having his comradery was a sample of the thing he'd been striving for his whole life. ergo, mine joins the yakuza specifically due to interest in daigo, and decides to stay and commit himself to it because of daigo- and as you said, mine understands his worth and wants his efforts to be reciprocated. the problem is that he's not exactly sociable..
inversely, arakawa was, on the contrary, an accident for jo: sure, he swore up in order to be closer to his son. but now By The Fate Of The Cruel Universe jo's found himself becoming attached to arakawa too, whether he wholly admits it or not. A Cruel Fate not only in that jo undoubtedly doesn't believe he'd be deserving of something special with arakawa, but that he also shouldn't pursue something special with arakawa considering their positions in the clan (also masato would probably throw a fit and he can't be upsetting his baby boy </3)
BUT THIS IS THE SIMILARITY OF DAIGO AND ARAKAWA RIGHT so often comparing mine and jo, i never touch on how the other two relate... but of course with them, daigo and arakawa try to become closer to mine and jo (evidently we see daigo have a little more success on account of rgg refusing to let arakawa and jo be in a room together for more than five minutes). its unfortunate that we don't get to hear much of arakawa's thoughts on jo, but if it's anything like daigo and his concern over mine (i.e. worrying that mine is only concerned with money/only sees value in himself through his wealth, wanting to be closer to him and get rid of the 'stiffness' between them) i imagine he harbors similar sentiment (and being a Bonafide Father instead of a proverbial one like daigo, i wouldn't be surprised if he could be more anxious/concerned over jo, especially considering the- albeit small- age gap absent in minedai).
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othercrossee · 1 year
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These days im starting to get even more annoyed with how u annoyin bitches act toward aroace people lmao
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copperbadge · 1 year
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Hey Sam! Since it's currently AO3 donation time, I'm wondering what your thoughts are on it? I'm asking because you've written RPF and it's one of many "anti-AO3/anti-AO3 donations" people's favourite things to bring up when they're complaining about AO3 getting so many donations that it continuously obtains an excess of its donation goal whenever donation time rolls around? (Wow, how many times can I say "donation" in an ask?) Sorry if this question bothers you! I don't mean to offend or annoy.
Hey anon! Sorry it took a while to get to this, I don't even know if the drive is still going on, but the question came in while I was traveling and I didn't really have the time for stuff that wasn't travel-related. In any case, let's dig in! (I am not offended, no worries.)
So really there are two issues here and as much as some people who are critical of AO3 want to conflate them, they are different. While some criticism of AO3 may be valid, rhetoric against AO3 tends to misinterpret both in separate ways.
First there's the issue of what AO3 hosts -- RPF, yes, but more broadly, varied content that some people find distasteful or think should be illegal, which is a misunderstanding of the purpose of the archive and more broadly a dangerous attitude towards the concept of freedom of expression.
Second, there's the issue of AO3 generally outpacing its fundraising goals while not allowing monetization, which is a misunderstanding of the legal status of AO3 and to an extent a misunderstanding of philanthropy as a whole.
The longer I watch debates about content go on, the more I come to the conclusion that I was fortunate to have a teacher who really wanted to instill in us an understanding of free speech not as a policy but as an ongoing dialogue. It's not only that freedom of expression "protects you from the government, not the Justin" as the meme goes, but also that freedom of expression is not a static thing. It's an ongoing process of identifying what we find harmful in society and what we want to do about it.
Should the freedom to shout "Fire!" in a crowded theater be restricted? Should the freedom to yell slurs at drag performers? Should the freedom to teach prepubescent kids about gender, sexuality, and/or safe sex? Should the freedom to wear a leather puppy hood at Pride? Who gets to say, and why?
I was nine when my teacher did a unit on freedom of speech and the intersection of "harm prevention" and "censorship", which is (and should be) a discussion, not a set of ironclad rules. This ambiguity has thus been with me for over thirty years, and I'm comfortable with the ambiguity, with the process; I'm not sure a lot of people critical of AO3's content truly are. Perhaps some can't be, especially those affected by hate speech, but RPF is not hate speech. It's just fiction. Or is fiction "just fiction"? This is a question society as a whole is grappling with, although fandom seems to be a little out ahead of society in terms of how explicitly we discuss it.
The idea that prose can incite violence or cause harm is both valid to examine (witness the rise of fascism on the radio in the 20s, on Facebook and Twitter in the past ten years; they're very similar processes) and a very slippery slope. Because again: who decides what harm is, and what causes it, and what we do about it? Our values align us with certain beliefs, but those are only our values, not universal truths. So AO3 is part of the ongoing question of harm and benefit both to society and individuals.
AO3 itself, however, has a fairly defined policy that it is not meant to police content; it is an archive, not a bookstore or a school board. AO3 refines its TOS and policies as necessary, but the goal is always open access and as much freedom of expression as possible, and if that's uncomfortable for some people then that's a discussion we have to have; ignoring it won't make it go away. But it has to be a discussion, it can't be a unilateral change to the archive's TOS or a series of snaps and clapbacks, and I don't see a lot of people ready to move beyond flinging insults. Perhaps because they were taught a much more binary view of freedom of expression than I was.
So, self-evidently, I support AO3 and I don't have a problem with RPF. Whether other people do is something we're going to have to get to grips with, and that's likely to be a process that is still going on when most of us are dust. I'd rather have a century of ambiguity than a wrong answer tomorrow, anyway.
But whether AO3 hosts RPF is truly a separate issue from its donation drives, because it's a criticism some people level at the site which exists whether it's fundraising or not. So people can criticize AO3's open policy and they can give it as a reason not to support the site, but it's just one aspect of the archive and the fundraising as a whole should be examined separately.
I think AO3's fundraisers are deeply misunderstood (sometimes on purpose) because even people who are anticapitalist get a little crazy when money gets involved, and this is, to fandom, a lot of money -- a few hundred thousand, reliably, every fundraiser. To me, a fundraiser that pulls in three hundred grand is almost quaint; my current nonprofit pulls in better than ten million a year and my previous employer had an endowment of several billion dollars. At my old job I didn't even bother researching people who couldn't give us a hundred grand.
On the other hand, AO3 is an extreme and astounding outlier in the nonprofit world, because basically it's the only one of its kind to work the way it does. It is entirely volunteer-run on the operational side (ie: tag wranglers, coders, lawyers, etc) and has no fundraising staff (gift officers, researchers, outreach officers) as far as I'm aware. To pull in three hundred grand from individual one-time donations, without any paid staff and without even a volunteer fundraising officer? That's insane. That doesn't happen. Except at AO3.
What people misunderstand, however, is the basic status of a nonprofit, which is a legal status, not simply a social one. (I'm adding in some corrections here since it gets complicated and the terminology can be important!) The Organization for Transformative Works, the parent of AO3, is a nonprofit, which indicates how it was incorporated as an organization; additionally it is registered federally as tax-exempt, which carries certain perks, like not paying sales tax, and certain duties, like making their financials transparent to a certain extent. (Religious nonprofits are exempt from the transparency requirement.) If you're interested in more about nonprofits and tax-exempt status a reader dropped a great article here.
Nonprofits, unlike for-profit companies, cannot pay a share of their income to stakeholders. Nonprofits don't have financial stakeholders, only donors. They can have employees and pay them a salary -- that's me, for example -- but if a nonprofit pulls in $10M in donations, my salary is paid from that, I don't get a percentage and nobody else does either. That's what it means to be a nonprofit -- the money above operational costs goes back into the organization. The donations we (and AO3) receive must be plowed under and used for outreach, server maintenance, further fundraising, services expansion, et cetera. You can see this in the 990 forms on Guidestar or ProPublica, or in their more accessible breakdowns on Charity Navigator. Nonprofits that do not put the majority of their income towards service provision tend to get audited and lose their nonprofit status. So nobody's getting paid from all that money, and the overage that isn't spent goes into what is basically a savings account in the name of the nonprofit. (I'm vastly simplifying but that's the gist.) Using that money for personal purposes is illegal. It's called "private inurement" and there's a good article here about it. The money belongs to the OTW as a concept, not to anyone in or of the OTW.
So the biggest misunderstanding that I see in people who are mad at AO3 fundraisers is that "they" are getting all this money (who "they" are is never clearly stated but I'm pretty sure people think @astolat has a special wifi router that runs on burning hundred dollar bills) while "we" can't monetize our fanfic. But "they" get nothing -- nobody even earns a salary from AO3 -- and you can easily prove that by looking at the 990 forms they file with the government, which are required to be made public. You can see the most recently available 990, from 2020, here at Guidestar. Page seven will show you the "highest compensated" employees, all of whom are earning zero dollars or nonmonetary perks (that's the three columns on the right).
Either AO3 is entirely volunteer-run or someone's Doing A Real Fraud. The money the OTW spends is documented (that's page 10 and 11 primarily) and while they may pay for, say, the travel and lodging expenses of a lawyer going to DC to defend a freedom-of-expression case, they don't pay the lawyer for their time, or give them a cut of the income.
Despite what you've read, the reason "we" can't monetize our fanfics on AO3 has nothing to do with the site being the product of volunteer handiwork or AO3 having it in their terms of service or it being considered gauche by some to do so; it's because
IT'S ILLEGAL.
I cannot say this loudly enough: It is against the law for a nonprofit to be used by its staff, volunteers, or beneficiaries to earn direct profit from the services provided by the nonprofit.
You can be paid to work at one, but you cannot side-hustle by selling your handmade friendship bracelets for personal gain on the nonprofit's website. If the nonprofit knowingly allows monetization of its services, it can lose nonprofit status, be fined, be hit with back taxes, and a lot of other unpleasant bullshit can go down, including prosecution of those involved for fraud. If you put a ko-fi link on your fanfic, you are breaking the law, and if AO3 allows it, they are too.
Okay, that was a sidebar, but in some ways not, because it gets to the heart of the real complaints about AO3 fundraising, which is that people in fandom are sick or unhoused or in some form of need and other people in fandom are giving to AO3, a fan site that is financially stable, instead of giving to peoples' gofundmes or dropping money in their Ko-Fi or Paypal. And while it is a legitimate grievance that there are people who are in such desperate need while we live in an era of unprecedented abundance, that's not AO3's fault. AO3 doesn't solicit actively, there's no unasked-for mailings or calls from a gift officer. They just put a banner up on their website, and people give. (Again, this is incredibly outlier behavior in the nonprofit world, I'd do a case study on it but the conclusion would just be "shit's real, yo.") You might as well be mad that people give to their local food bank instead of someone's ko-fi.
You cannot lay at AO3's feet the fact that people want to give to AO3 instead of to your fundraiser. That's a choice individuals have made, and while you can engage with them in terms of why they made the philanthropic choices they did, to blame an organization they supported rather than the person who made the choice to give is not only incorrect but futile, and unlikely to win anyone over to supporting you. We know from research that guilt is not a tremendous motivator of philanthropy.
It is also not necessarily a binary choice; just because AO3 gets a hundred grand in $5 donations doesn't mean most of the people giving don't also give $5 elsewhere. I support the OTW on occasion, and I also fundraise for UNICEF and the Chicago Parks Foundation and BAGLY and others, in addition to giving monthly to several nonprofits that I have longterm relationships with -- my alma mater, the animal rescue where I got the Cryptids, my shul. And I give, occasionally and anonymously, to fundraisers that pass through Radio Free Monday, which are mainly individuals in need, because I was once in need and now I pay it forward. These are the choices I have made. Nobody twisted my arm. I respond poorly to someone making the attempt to do so by attacking places I've given.
I think the upshot is, after all of this that I've written, that we cannot begin to come to grips with questions of institutional inequality in philanthropy, or freedom of expression and censorship, until people actually understand what's going on, and too few do. So all I can do is try and explain, and hopefully create a forum for people to learn and grow when it comes to charitable giving.
Archive Of Our Own and the Organization for Transformative Works are products of our community and as that community changes, we will necessarily continue to re-evaluate what aspects of it mean and how AO3/OTW express the community sentiment. I hope that the ongoing discussion of support for AO3 also leads to people learning more about their philanthropic options. But criticizing AO3 for fundraising by attacking it for fulfilling one of its stated purposes is silly, and attempting to guilt people into giving in the ways one thinks they should give rather than how they do give is just going to make one extremely unlikable.
As members of this community, we have to be a part of the push and pull, but it's difficult to do that competently in ignorance. So, I do my best to be knowledgeable and to educate my readers, and I hope others will do the same.
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turing-tested · 1 year
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not to discourse on here but really actually hate 'acab includes fandom police' people have been saying lately because that shit literally just announces that your understanding of cops are 'people who tell me not to do things I want to do' and that you think there is no difference between Teenagers On The Internet who yell at you and People Who Are Paid To Enforce State Violence Through Murder
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vanteguccir · 25 days
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Hey guys! I actually spent long minutes staring at these reblogs and debating whether it was worth responding and talking about or not. But as I'm not the type to take hate and keep quiet, I decided to talk about it.
First of all, Reia, you really seem like a person who doesn't read many fanfics for the way you put it in your text, so I'll explain the meaning of the word. Fanfic, short for "fan fiction", is a story written by a fan based on characters, universes, or real people (like the triplets). Fans create their own narratives, expanding or reimagining everything, creating their own version, which in real life does not exist OR, as writers, we often draw inspiration from real-life events too.
And yes, you and Evangeline are trying to be "fanfic police" and even "sturniolo police", if you scroll through the thousands of Sturniolo Triplets fanfics, you will come across A LOT where Matt, Nick or Chris go through situations of anxiety attack, panic attack, OR where the "reader" herself goes through this, sometimes even involving situations way worse than that. Furthermore, there's thousands of fanfics describing explicit sex scenes with them, the famous smuts, does that bother you too? Because in the world of someone who writes a FANFIC in here, it doesn't.
And yes, I was indeed writing about the meet and greet situation, and this was nothing new to ANYONE in the fandom WHO READS THE FANFICS HERE. I even made a post the day before ASKING who would like to read the idea, and you want to know the news? All 200 people who voted wanted it.
I understand that you feel this story is disrespectful FOR YOU, especially because it touches on a real-life situation that may be sensitive or painful for some people. I want to assure you that it was never my intention to cause harm or disrespect anyone involved in that situation.
I myself am diagnosed with chronic anxiety, and even so, I didn't feel affected by the way I wrote. In fact, I described how I feel during MY anxiety attacks.
In no way did I make fun of the situation Matt went through, in fact, my intention in writing this story was to explore Matt's complexity and show how he deals with real problems, such as anxiety. It was a way to give more depth to his situation during the tour and highlight the importance of the emotional support he receives from "Y/N". It was not my intention to mock him, but rather to explore his humanity and the challenges he faced, and I know with all the certainty in the world that I did not mock him, much less affect the people who read the story.
Please, I ask you to reevaluate the need to throw hate at a person who has nothing to do with your outside the box opinions of what WRITERS ON THE STURNIOLO'S TUMBLR should or shouldn't write about.
There are thousands of posts on Instagram and TikTok from "fans" really mocking Matt and throwing hate at him about "their bad experiences" during one of the shows, these are the people you should be giving a piece of your mind to, not me. 🩷
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malwarechips · 2 months
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yknow im really excited for the new rw dlc i love nightcat getting some recognition from the devs but also. i am TERRIFIED that now people are gonna start policing nightcat headcanons too. its throwing me off. rain world, i love you, but i honestly fucking hate like a solid quarter of this fandom
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jesswriteswrongs · 7 months
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After School Special
Fandom: Shameless USA
Characters: Lip Gallagher x Female Northside!Reader
Summary: Reader and Lip return to her house after school, but Reader’s mom comes home early and has a lot to say
Warnings: body shaming, discussion of food, discussion of exercise, discussion of weight
A/N: Readers mom reads like Emily Gilmore because I’ve been binge watching Gilmore Girls
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It was mid-October and you had no idea how Lip survived without a coat, when you were dreading pulling your hand out of your pocket to unlock the door. Once you were both inside the warmth of your house you lead Lip upstairs to your room. “Wanna help me with my literature homework?” You asked him, putting your backpack on the floor and hanging up your coat.
“I do love you in that uniform…” he replied, sitting on your bed. You never thought that the kilt, sweater vest, blazer and saddle shoes were particularly attractive, but Lip always seemed to think so.
“Really?” You asked, straddling his lap.
“Mmm…” He replied, pushing your blazer off your shoulders “Southside bad boy corrupts private school girl? It’s like something from a romance novel.” You let your blazer fall to the floor. “Shall I compare thee to a summers day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. Rough winds do-“ You interrupted Lip’s recitation of Shakespeare by clapping your hand over his mouth, hearing the front door open and close.
“Shit! My mom’s home early.” You whispered.
“Y/N!” Your mom shouted. You put your finger to your lips to signal Lip to be quiet, and climbed off his lap. You headed downstairs to see what she wanted.
“Hi Mom.” You said nonchalantly.
“Y/N! How long have you been home?” She asked, looking you up and down. You squirmed under her gaze.
“Just a few minutes, I was just about to start my homework.” She frowned.
“Hm… well, remember your sister is coming home from Yale this weekend.”
“Yes, Mom.” You replied monotonously.
“How’s your application to Princeton going?”
“I don't need to apply until next year.”
“Yes, darling, but Princeton will look closely at your junior year. Extracurriculars are important.” She placed her handbag on the bureau, paying more attention to the wood grain than to you.
“Mom, I’m already president of the Model United Nations and VP of the astronomical society.”
“Yes, but you’ll need more. Your sister was captain of the swim team, president of the key club, class president and valedictorian.”
“Mom, I’m not Laura.” You sighed, playing with your sleeve cuffs
“Don’t I know it.” Your mother retorted. She looked you up and down once more. “You’re looking fat. I’ll tell Maria to skip the after school snack, you can wait until dinner, and you’ll be taking salad for lunch for the rest of the week. Your father and I pay for the gym, you should use it.”
“Yes, Mom.” You said once more. “Can I go back to my homework now?” Your mother literally looked down her nose at you before she spoke.
“Fine. But I expect you to be exercising after dinner.” You nodded, fisting your hands inside your sleeves and wiling the tears not to fall. You quickly turned and ran back up the stairs, shutting yourself in your bedroom, back against the door, before you let the tears fall. You had completely forgotten Lip was waiting for you in there.
“Y/N?” He asked quietly.
“How much of that did you hear?” Your voice was low and quiet, almost trembling.
“Enough.” Lip replied. He opened his arms. “Everything she said is total bullshit. You’re not anywhere near fat, and you’re going to get into Princeton.” You allowed yourself to be hugged and comforted by Lip, tears falling on to the blue shirt you loved on him. “And if your mom really wants you to get some exercise I can think of an exercise regiment that she’ll hate.” You laughed wetly, before wiping your eyes with your sleeve.
“This is why I prefer your house.” You said quietly.
“What, too loud to think with the police turning up anytime they want?” Lip chuckled. You rested your temple against his shoulder.
“Yeah but it’s family. You may not have much but you love each other, and most of the time you even like each other.” Lip laughed at that. “You’re not competing against each other or trying to outdo each other’s achievements. Everything Laura does I have to be the same or better, whether I want to or not.” Lip seemed to think about that for a moment.
“I guess you’re right.” He said after a moment of silence. “We’re dysfunctional, sure, but I’d do anything for my family. Our achievements are what they are. Shit, I’ll be the first Gallagher to finish high school. Plus, Fiona likes you a lot more than she’s liked my other girlfriends.” You ran your thumb over his shirt collar.
“It’s refreshing. Fiona thinks it’s great when I get a C, Debbie likes when I bring my art homework, it feels safe.” You said quietly.
“Even with Carl running around?” Lip asked
“Even with Carl running around.” You laughed, and kissed him. “I’m totally serious though, my literature homework is due tomorrow.”
“Hmmm, can I be your reward afterwards?” Lip asked.
“Can we go to your house tomorrow?” Lip smiled and nodded. You smiled back and climbed off his lap, grabbing your book and sitting back on his lap.
“What are you doing, Y/N? I thought you were doing homework?” You grinned wickedly at Lip.
“You really want to wait until after?”
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lunamond · 21 days
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The disproportionate hate show!Criston gets is so bizarre. No argument I’ve seen his haters make sofar has made any sense to me.
He is outside of Mysaria the only siginficant lowborn character we meet. He rises up from the son of a steward of a minor house to the position of King‘s Guard thanks to Rhaenyra, who then pressures him into having sex with her, sth that could get him executed. Afterwards she not just rejects his proposal, but laughs in his face.
And when as a result of this experience Criston is shown to be emotional distraught and bitter, people call him an incel? (I assume that they refer to his ideology and not his actual status as a celibate, because not being celibate is literally what started this mess)
It really rubs me the wrong way, when people remove all context from this situation. A lower class person getting a well-off position from a person with authority, who they then end up having sex with is ALWAYS a relationship with a power imbalance (Obviously there are irl relationships like this, who work out and manage to be relatively healthy, but that doesn‘t remove the imbalance of power and the increased likelyhood of abuse).
We see Criston‘s reluctance when Rhaenyra makes her move. It does not matter if Criston was attracted to her or not. The simple fact that he is in a vunerable position makes him denying her a risk. It also does not matter that Rhaenyra had no malicious intentions, the simple fact that she ignores Criston‘s refusal and continues pressuring make this whole scene super uncomfortable. Her ignorance and naivety does not erase the impact of her actions.
Criston growing to hate her afterwards is perfectly justified.
As a man who grew up in Westerosi society, he inevitably holds misogynist beliefs, which is reflected in the insults he uses after this. But compared to the acts of every single character on this show, singling out his character is pretty ludicrous, when we have plenty of male (and female) characters who have done worse:
Like commiting SA (Viserys, Aegon), grooming young girls (Viserys again! I really hate this man, Daemon, Otto, Corlys and Rhaenys because telling your daughter she has to sleep with a grown man when she is 14 is pretty much the same thing Otto does to Alicent) and the only major crime Criston is guilty of sofar: murder (Daemon killed his wife and the servant in Driftmark, also he did large scale police violence which people love to forget about, Rhaenys killed potentially hundreds of smallfolk at the coronation)
Obviously, anybody is allowed to dislike whatever character they want, but a lot of people flatten Criston into just a misogynistic bitter incel who is just mad that Rhaenyra has sex, ignoring every bit of context we get for his behaviour.
This becomes escpecially weird, when those same people have no problem stanning Daemon, who calls his 1st wife a „bitch“, „uglier than sheep“ and then murders her, because he sees her as inferior as a none-valyrian. But Criston calling Rhaenyra, a person he feels personally wronged by, a „spoiled cunt“ is apparently a too far.
It is just really frustating when the character with the canonically lowest social standing gets afforded the least amount of nuance by the fandom (the writers are obvs not excempt from this criticism either).
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cannibalistic-deer · 2 months
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About Alastor and Shipping
I'm going to be completely honest here, as an Alastor fictive who is also aroace.
I think it's quite ridiculous in a sad way that aroace people who aren't fictives at all are so sensitive about people shipping Alastor.
Do you take it personally that someone is shipping an aroace character? Because you're aroace? It's not personal, and as long as nothing about canon changes, there's nothing wrong with it.
I put up with seeing drawings of this character, who I am a fictive of, doing things I would never do and am repulsed by. I hate seeing it. I'm unhappy with a significant portion of fandom content. And I just scroll past it. Because I know it's not about me, personally.
If such things became canon, it would be a problem. But no reasonable person is saying the shipping is canon.
There aren't very many "canon" ships in terms of the characters actually, currently being officially together. There's Charlie/Vaggie. And I think that's all. There are some characters who canonically have some feelings for others (ie. Pentious for Cherri Bomb) or have previous relationships (Lucifer and Lilith, etc.), but they are not presently, canonically, doing most of the things people are putting into shipping material.
But the point of shipping is NOT to make it canon. A lot of people don't want their ships to be canon at all. It's just exploring relationships between fictional characters.
And really, it's easy to imagine why so many aroace people also have Alastor ships. If a person is aroace, they may want to (or just be naturally inclined to) use a character they relate to when they are using shipping to explore topics or relationship types they don't want to personally be involved in.
NONE of the fanworks that people are making have any effect on canon. Canon!Alastor is not becoming any less aroace (or asexual at minimum) just because people are making fan content about him being in sexual or romantic relationships.
So what is the goal of complaining? To stop shipping? You can't do that. To stop people from posting about their Alastor ships? That's censorship. Being pro-censorship is not the right move.
In any case, it's all ridiculous to me. Just ship what you want. Let other people ship what they want.
And if they canonically put Alastor in some kind of relationship that changes his identity? Then sure, grab the pitchforks and have at it, because that would be erasure.
But until then, stop thinking you can police fandom content just because you personally don't like it.
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punkeropercyjackson · 3 months
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Yeah,no,Zutaras don't care about representation for anyone other than themselves.Because if they did,why do they
Call Aang white because they don't like him while knowing full well he's tibetan and come up with every insult in the book for him because he's a femme boy
Say Mai is a pick me and toxic because of her autistic-coding and trauma responses and dosen't 'deserve' Zuko even though he canonically finds the former attractive and has the latter too
Accuse Zukka shippers of being fujoshis who 'just hate women' for wanting Sokka to be bi and Zuko his boyfriend when most Zukka shippers are queer minors who only started the fandom because Atla got put on Netflix so that's how they found out it then instead of when it came out
And completely disregard Ty Lee as an even potentional love interest for Zuko by calling her 'too much of a bimbo' and 'stereotypically girly' for him when she was written with deconstructing that archetype in mind by giving her real emotions and what it puts girls through by misogynists who want to police how we present even if it's a healing/coping mechanism like in her case?
If moc queer or not love Kataang,they get called dudebros with no basis.If autistic women instead of just 'quirky nerds' love Maiko,they get strawmaned as 'creepy alt girls who're trying too hard'.If gay and trans people love Zukka,they get the classic 'these FILTHY GAYS are RUINING our HETEROSEXUAL SPACE' take.And if autistic queer girls who're femme in ways that aren't palpable to allistics and cishets love Ty Luko,we get told we aren't even worth considering romantic options because we're too 'stupid' and can't 'really have deep connections' that aren't being someone's annoying friend.You wanted Zutara to be canon because you're a woc like Katara and had a crush on Zuko?Cool,i feel the same way about Ty Luko and so do certain Maiko and Zukka shippers with their ships but none of run around cyberbullying school children and causing unnecessary infighting over it!So be quiet,not everything is about you and at this point we've proven we're too good to be near you so leave and don't forget to let door hit you on the way out♡
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magpod-confessions · 2 months
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I think using morality as a measure for how good a character is or how much attention a character deserves is a terrible way to do media analyses. For some reason everyone in the tma fandom feels the need to justify or condemn the actions of their favorite characters, so they can talk about -- or like a character. It lacks nuance and it's upsetting how so many people have trouble dissecting media above the level of a toddler. The most major part of tma is jon struggling with his humanity and how his addiction affects the people around him. Going, oh well jon is an awful character but Daisy was a cop and tried to kill him so she's worse and shouldn't be forgiven, so in retrospect were jon's actions really as bad as they could have been? Is stupid, they were both adults who managed to find solace in each other because they related to each others experiences being puppeted and manipulated by forces beyond their understanding. Daisy was Jon's foil during season 4 where she was able to resist the hunt but Jon couldn't stop consuming due to his unwillingness to change because he preferred to keep using the beholding as a tool, like how Daisy leaned into the hunt heavily while she was still a police officer, and how when push came to shove she sacrificed her humanity to ensure the continued survival of the people around her. Jon still made the choice to go to the panopticon and kill Jonah Magnus even when the world was doomed and there was no point for him to not just sit down on his ass, and enjoy the apocalypse -- he did enjoy the apocalypse. And while in the end he did betray Martin, ultimately taking that position in a misguided attempt at taking responsibility, he still did try to apply some system of morality to his choices. It's deeply saddening how people treat these characters and strip them of all of their nuance, I hate fandom discourse. People don't like characters because they're good they like them because they are interesting within the narrative. It's absurd to devide people into good or bad, people are either charming or tedious. -oscar wilde or some shit
.
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fluentmoviequoter · 2 months
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It's Not About You
Requested Here!
Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!reader
Summary: When Tim overhears his fellow police officers and your other neighbors flirting with you, he gets jealous, and takes it out on you.
Warnings: jealous!Tim (he's hot), brief angst, fluff at the end
Word Count: 2.1k+ words
Picture from Pinterest
Masterlist Directory | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List
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Over the last few years of impromptu visits to the Mid-Wilshire LAPD station, you’ve gotten to know most of the front desk staff. They know you too, and you’re often wordlessly handed a visitor’s badge and wished good luck. You’ve heard the stories about the man you come to visit: how intense and grumpy he can be, but you’ve never seen that side of him for yourself.
Today, two people sit at the front desk, and you’ve never seen either before. Moving into one line, you wait until you reach the desk. You smile as you look at his name tag and are surprised to realize that you have heard his name.
“How can I help you today?” he asks, clearly displeased with his current position and forcing his smile.
“Officer Nolan, I am here to visit Officer Bradford,” you answer.
“Bradford,” Nolan repeats. “Tim Bradford?”
“That’s the one. I just need to drop something off and ask him a quick question.”
“Oh, sure,” Nolan replies. “Just fill this out for me and I’ll get you a badge.”
You nod, stepping to the side as you fill out the paperwork you haven’t seen since your first visit. Knowing that Nolan is new, though, and seeing just how busy the station is, you decide to do as he asks rather than argue with him.
“So, do you know Officer Bradford?” Nolan asks.
“I do. I’m his neighbor,” you answer.
“Ah, I see. I’m surprised someone as nice as you would intentionally visit him.”
“What does that mean?” you ask, furrowing your brows as you pass the clipboard back to him.
“Nothing, just- Hang on, I’m out of badges. Jackson, do you have visitors’ badges over there?”
“Uh, yeah,” the man beside him, Jackson apparently, answers.
“She’s here to visit Bradford,” Nolan explains.
“On purpose?” Jackson asks.
“That’s what I said!”
“Why is that so surprising?” you ask, smiling.
“He’s just… grumpy, and you seem so kind and fun to be around,” Nolan replies.
“You think I’d be fun to be around?”
“I- I mean, yeah. So envisioning you and Bradford talking to each other is just weird.”
“And concerning,” Jackson adds. “Have you been tested for any cognitive issues?”
“That’s not cognitive-related, you’re just questioning if I’m a good judge of character,” you argue.
“What’s your impression of me?” Nolan inquires. “Just to make sure you’re okay.”
“Well,” you begin, tapping the desk as you think.
✯✯✯✯✯
Tim looks down at his watch before glancing at the door. You should be here by now; your text said ten minutes, and it’s been twice that. Tim abandons the conversation he’s been ignoring and walks to the door behind the desk. He hears you say why you’re there, but when Nolan starts talking to you about how different you are from Tim and then dips into what sounds like flirting, Tim's jaw tightens as he listens.
“As much fun as this has been,” you say with a chuckle, “I’m really late, and-“
“Bradford hates that. Trust me, I know,” Nolan interjects. “Do you know where you’re going?”
“I do. Thank you, Officer Nolan.”
“John.”
Tim watches you smile as you use Nolan’s first name, and his nostrils flare. Usually, he can recognize his own emotions (and he’d admit - to you, at least - that he doesn’t have much emotional range). Right now, he can’t place the feelings he’s experiencing watching you and Nolan.
“Uh, Tim?” you ask, stepping through the door to go to the bullpen.
“Hey,” Tim replies, turning quickly. He picks up a folder and adds, “Everything okay? Took you longer than usual.”
You look at the folder in his hand and answer, “Yeah. My favorite cop wasn’t at the front desk so I actually had to go through the whole visitor thing.”
“I’m not your favorite cop?” Tim asks.
“Depends on the day,” you reply, smiling as he steps beside you.
Tim doesn’t answer, and when you look over at him, you’re surprised to see him looking straight ahead, bending the folder with a tight grip. You stop, placing a hand on his forearm.
“Are you okay?” you ask softly.
“Never been better,” Tim answers. “Why’d you stop by?”
“Oh. I wanted to let you know that Kojo is at my house, but also have a question.”
“Then ask.”
You bristle slightly at Tim’s disinterested tone, but you know his job is tough, and he’s probably had a long day.
“Do you-“
“Bradford!” someone calls. “Let’s go!”
Tim looks toward you, and you say, “Go ahead. My question can wait. Have a good day, Tim.”
“You too,” he mutters.
Tim takes the time to watch you leave, despite his seeming indifference. When you stop by the desk to say bye to Nolan, Tim destroys the folder as he realizes what he feels. Tim Bradford is jealous. Worse, he’s jealous of a rookie.
✯✯✯✯✯
Kojo is on a leash in your front yard, and you smile as you watch him jump after a ball. Tim lives directly beside you, so you’ll know when he gets home. Hopefully, the rest of his shift went okay, and he’s in a better mood now.
A deep voice calls your name, and you look away from Kojo. Your neighbor from the other side stops on the sidewalk before your house to continue talking to you.
“Hey! How are you?” you respond, staying by your porch.
“Better now,” he replies with a flirtatious smile.
He’s not a bad neighbor, but he makes you uncomfortable because he flirts with you every time he sees you. Having Kojo nearby makes you more comfortable, but you hope to get through the small talk and move on.
“I’m having a little get together on Friday if you’d like to come over.”
You call Kojo to your side, and he happily sits before you, another buffer between you and your neighbor. Tim’s truck turns into his driveway, and you sigh in relief. He gets out quickly, stopping by his passenger door as he watches you and Kojo. You smile, unsurprised but disappointed when Tim doesn’t return it.
“Friday?” your neighbor asks.
“I’ll, uh, I’m not sure if I can make it,” you offer. “Thanks for the invitation, though.”
“Open invite,” he adds before walking back toward his house.
“Hey, Tim,” you call, walking across your yard with Kojo’s leash in your hand. “Work go okay?”
“Yep. Thanks for taking care of Kojo.”
Tim takes the leash, his hand covering yours for just a moment. He pulls his hand away quickly and nods before he turns toward his house.
“Do you need me to watch him tomorrow?”
“No,” Tim answers, keeping his back to you. “Have a good one.”
You stand in your yard for a moment, wondering what happened. You’re starting to see the Tim Bradford that the officers at Mid-Wilshire talk about, and you’re not sure you like it.
✯✯✯✯✯
Tim was hoping that you’d ask your question when he got home. When he saw your other neighbor talking to you and, from what Tim heard, asking you out, he decided he wasn’t in the mood to talk. Turning his back on you felt wrong, but his jealousy is calling the shots for now. Everyone close to you, close to Tim, seems to be making a move on you. Tim doesn’t want to admit it, but part of why he likes you so much is because he’s falling for you. He knows he’ll never be good enough for you, so he’s happy to be your friend... until today, and now he’s not sure if he can stand by and watch another man attempt to make you happy.
“Any chance you can tell me that I saw that wrong?” Tim asks Kojo. When Kojo huffs, he replies, “I didn’t think so.”
✯✯✯✯✯
Kojo starts barking as soon as you return home from running some errands. Tim said he didn’t need your help today, but Kojo needs something. You text Tim, asking if he wants you to check on Kojo, but he doesn’t answer. After a few minutes, you use your spare key and enter Tim’s house.
As you walk into the backyard with Kojo, you call Tim, but he still doesn’t answer. Kojo is fine, simply lonely, so you take him back to your house. After texting Tim to let him know, you walk back to your car to lock it. A police car stops across the street, and when you see Nolan exit the driver’s side, you yell his name and jog toward the road.
“Hey,” he greets.
“What’s going on?” you ask, walking into the street so you can hear him.
“Noise complaint. How long have you been home?”
“Ten minutes, maybe.”
“They called about excessive dog barking, and that’s a direct quote.”
“Oh… that was Tim’s dog. He’s fine now, but he was barking at me when I got back because he was lonely.”
Another shop parks behind Nolan’s, and Tim slams the door as he exits.
“It was Kojo, I’m so sorry,” you offer.
“I told you he was fine today,” Tim replies.
“He started barking and I was worried about him. You didn’t answer, so I-“
“It’s fine,” Tim snaps.
“Sorry,” you whisper.
Nolan nods as he gets back in his shop. Tim waits until he drives away to take a deep breath. He begins to speak, but another neighbor stops as he drives by, rolling his window down to ask how you are. Tim opens his door, and you rush to his shop and look through his rolled-down window.
“I’m sorry, Tim,” you repeat.
“It’s fine.”
“Clearly it isn’t because you can’t even look at me. I won’t do it again.”
“It’s not about you,” Tim argues. It is, but he can’t tell you that.
“Got it,” you murmur, stepping back. “I’ll take Kojo back to your place and leave my key.”
You cross the road, walking through your yard as you think about what you’re losing by accidentally pushing Tim away. Tim yells your name, and you stop but don’t turn toward him. He walks up behind you, and you can’t see his hands flex at his sides as he tries to find the words to say.
“It is about you, but not about you taking care of Kojo,” Tim begins. “It’s about you and me.”
Turning your head, you watch Tim’s hand fold into a fist as he continues.
“I just- Nolan was flirting with you, and…”
“You think he was flirting with me?” you ask, turning so you’re facing Tim.
“He was. And it made me angry. When I came home and saw what’s-his-name flirting with you too…”
“You got angry?”
“I got jealous,” Tim forces out.
“Why?”
“Because they’re doing what I want to do.”
“What does that mean, Tim?”
“It means that I want to be more than your friend but I’m not relationship material. Watching guys try to be what I want to be makes me jealous and angry, and for some reason I took it out on you.”
“And Nolan?”
Tim pauses before nodding.
“You know the worst part of this?” you ask. “That if you had just told me, I would have let you know that I feel the same.”
“You don’t get jealous,” Tim argues.
“That’s not true. Every time someone flirts with you or stares a little too openly, I remember that you could have anyone you wanted. Being your neighbor was the closest I thought I could get.”
Tim steps toward you, and you match his movement, closing the distance together.
“So…” you begin.
“So. What did you want to ask at the station?"
"If I could come over, but I feel confident assuming that you'd say yes."
Tim closes his eyes when your neighbor says your name.
“Cute,” you murmur.
“I realized that a big gathering like that wasn’t a good choice, so I wanted to ask if you were free Thursday? Maybe we could get some dinner or something."
“She’s busy,” Tim answers, his eyes on you.
“But-“
“Let me rephrase, she’s taken!” Tim yells.
“Oh, sorry man, I didn’t know.”
Tim watches him scurry inside before turning back toward you. You smile as you look at him.
“I’m taken?” you repeat.
“Only if you want to be.”
Nodding, you lay your hands on Tim’s chest. He moves a hand up to your waist, pulling you against him. Kojo barks before he can do anything, and you laugh against Tim’s uniform.
“Aren’t you still working?” you ask.
“Technically. How about dinner when I get off?”
“Only if you cook.”
“Like I’m taking you out in public this soon. I just got over the jealousy.”
You kiss Tim’s cheek just before dispatch alerts him of a call in the area.
“Where are you going?” he asks as you walk away.
“Home!” you call as you walk into his porch. “My boy lives here. And you do too.”
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