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zeynatura · 8 months

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Ranting about Nucani

There is something I want to express and this fandom should know.

Nu: Carnival is a Harem game but unlike most games in the genre the relationships with MC are all canon within the same story, there are no "Routes", no "Alternate Universe/Timelines", it's all 1 Main Story where you get to gradually meet all the Characters who'll be your companions, in this game named Clan members, and all of them one way or another end up falling for Eiden (MC), which makes polyam relationship canon with Eiden as the center:

Like very few games have polyam representation, let alone a positive one, like yes the polycule it's very Eiden central but even then all the Clan Members interact with one another, as we see mainly in the time limited Events but also in the Main Story, and have friendly and amicable interactions, they rely on one another sometimes even without Eiden being involved.

But also, Aster and Morvay have a relationship established too since way before the events of the prologue of the game, Kuya and Quincy have hinted some sort of situationship (idk I don't care about Quincy and my knowledge about Kuya is limited to what happens in the story and events cause I have no limited SSRs nor have I read any of his Intimacy Rooms).

[Also if any of you knows of any other relationship that have been hinted at that i'm missing feel free to share, i specifically ask of you to refer to only canon, i know in fanon anything and everything is possible and sometimes we may be missperceiving some interactions between characters so i ask of you to take those rose tinted glasses off and see unfiltered canon, it's hard for me too ngl so dw]

All this started with some posts I saw about ppl feeling bad for Yakumo and/or Edmond to be "forced into a polyam relationship" when they are the "most romantic members" and "deserve a monogamous relationship", their words not mine, as if mono > poly , but also do you really think they're against it!?

One thing is being Clan Members against their will (which is all Huey's fault btw), having to work together to regulate the Altars' Essence (or their own) and then another one completely is involving themselves in a personal and intimate way with Eiden, which the latter they all did in their own terms and out of free will.

Also i wanna share one of the best and my fav scenes with Karu, which i know not everyone was able to experience it cause it's hidden in the Intimacy Rooms of a Limited SSR, but it expresses exactly why the polycule is consensual.

Context: Eiden has been worrying about forcing the Clan Members to be with him because he is the New Grand Sorcerer, against their will just because of Huey's magic that ties them together and the responsibility of Regulating the Altars and basically maintaining stability in the Klein Continent.

His worries began (at least that i noticed) in "Eerie Escapade" (Halloween Event), that was also the first time Garu got hurt while protecting Eiden and the first time Karu got mad at him and fronted to yell at Eiden (which is my another fav scene of Karu omg i love him so much i gotta go back and take screenshots of that but that's for another post), the second one being in "Army x Blood x Oath" (which are the screenshots i'll show u)

Because this are the Intimacy Rooms of Garu/Karu's Limited SSR this scene focuses on Eiden feeling guilty because Garu got hurt in the past (Halloween Event) and this time he lost his memory (temporarily, due to this event's story) and Eiden blaming himself for it all and wondering if they would be better off without him, but the same can and is applied to the rest of the Clan Members, seeing how Eiden met and approached Rei while respecting his privacy and independency even tho he's also a Clan Member and the newest introduced in the story, means that the Limited Events are also canon and part of the story because Eiden seems to be growing and learning from previous Events and showing that development in future Events and the Main Story.

Karu also mentions that Garu (prior to losing his memories) was also worrying about the same thing Eiden was, like 'what if Master (Eiden) stays with us just because of the contract with Huey? :c' and he calls them both idiots because they don't communicate and fronts to fix it! (Mighty Karu to the rescue)

And talking about "Eerie Escapade" that is also the event where Yakumo's possessiveness towards Eiden shows, i'll admit i haven't seen the last room but i feel like those people i mentioned before are using it as fuel to their idea, because if Yakumo is jealous of other Clan Members interacting with Eiden and "Wants him all to himself" that must mean he wants a monogamous relationship, right?

WRONG!

That just means Yakumo is a complex person that feels different emotions specially when it comes to the most important person in his life (Eiden) other than his grandparents!

And Yakumo feels guilty for having those feelings, not because of them being in a polycule and he not wanting to be in it, but because he has trauma and sees his desires and wants as selfishness and he would never allow himself to be selfish cause he doesn't want to hurt people, he's a people's pleaser! He lives with constant fear of hurting others like the Great Serpent did when it killed many (but apparently there may be more that meets the eye, because the current event hinted that the Great Serpent actually liked humans and took care of children ???)

And Yakumo dealing with those feelings along with his yokai powers as a descendant of The Great Serpent have been the main topic of his last 3 Limited SSRs, which is great because that means CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT~

Now unfortunately i cannot talk about Edmond's Intimacy Rooms as i'm missing ALL OF HIS SSRs (why do you hate me Edmond if ily) but from what i've seen he's also pretty happy being with Eiden, heck even HIS MOM is happy his son is with Eiden!

That's right, she's the first and only parent of the Clan Members that knows and approves of their relationship, if it weren't because most of them are orphan we could get many more... i wonder if Yakumo's grandparents are aware hmmm ... and we all know Olivine's parents are gonna HATE it xD and maybe Garu's wolf pack will approve of Eiden by the end of this event.

#i just realized i may not be the right person to talk about polyam relationships and representation #even if i'm open to polyamory while in a monogamous relationship currently #and i do my best to do my research about it and learn from polyam people #but then again i used to do the same with queer people before finding out i was queer #and neurodiverse people before realizing i am one too #and the most recent was autism :D #so maybe i'm not the wrong person to talk about it #also if any of you treat Garu and Karu as the same person when they're a system i will lose it #or worse when people don't acknowledge Karu #help me i love these pups with my life and i will protect them #aster and morvay relationship's nature is not for us to decide #but the fact is that they have one #nu carnival #nucani #canon polyamory #if you read all this i love you~#edit: i thought Morvay having multiple sex partner was obvious 🤔#but some ppl pointed it out so #yeah #the incubus has sex with many ppl besides Eiden and Aster all consensual #while Aster finds it annoying but also helpful Eiden think it's hot #big edit: nvm I AM THE RIGHT PERSON to talk about this as im ambiamorous #which means im happy both in a monoam and polyam relationships #so i am in the polyam spectrum and would love to have what these boys have

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beliell · 11 months

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Monster headcanon playlist - a summary - part I

Hi, everyone! A week ago I’ve decided to make a Monster (Naoki Urasawa’s work) playlist, available now on Spotify

This posts it has not only been created to share this sum of songs but to illustrate more about my decision of why to choose some of the musics as well. It contains my personal opinion about the masterpiece but canonical events as well.

75 songs were added into that playlist, but I’m going to give a raise on the 10 top songs (5 songs in this first part of post), dividing into english songs and german/russian songs. Yep, german/russian songs ‘cause I believe this representation it is very important to the drama and It’s something I didn’t see in other playlists (sorry not sorry)

Disclaimer: We all know that Monster focus on the German and Czech events, but the choice to add specific Russian songs instead of Czech were mostly personnal.

Let’s go!

1. ‘HOME’, by Heems

All I got is the sweater that you left, the letters that I kept, That spoke of how you liked when I kissed you on the neck, And I held you as you wept, Yeah, I held you as we slept, I held you as we crept, I've been a mess since I met you, I regret you, You could say I love what's regretful. You got me, I get you, If I could, I'd forget you, But I can't since I've left you, I let you, If I could, I'd forget you, I would be more forgetful. When it's cold outside, yeah, I miss you, But we had too many issues.

Err...I don't even have to explain this first one. The end of the relationship profoundly marks Eva, who develops depression and alchool issues as a way to deal with it, throught the drama. Tenma it is severe impacted as well, but more in a 'rush' away, as slowly losing all establish that he had one day as a men.

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2. ‘Erschießen’, by IDEAL

Komm, wir lassen uns erschießen, zwei Schüsse mitten ins Gehirn. Komm, wir lassen uns erschießen, ich hab nichts zu verlier'n. Komm, wir lassen uns erschießen, Sonntag morgens 5 vor 10. Ich kann den Sonntag nicht ertragen, und ich will keinen Montag sehn.

TRANSLATION: (🇩🇪)

Come on, let us be shot, two shots right into the brain. Come on, let us be shot, I don't have anything to lose. Come on, let us be shot, on sunday mornings 5 minutes before 10. I can't stand sundays, and I don't want to see mondays anymore.

Err...I won't even loose more than one paragraph about this one.

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3. ‘Goodbye Horses’, by Q Lazzarus

He told me, I've seen it all before, I've been there, I've seen my hopes and dreams, A lying on the ground, I've seen the sky just begin to fall, He say, "All things pass into the night", And I say, "Oh no sir, I must say you're wrong, I must disagree, oh no sir, I must say you're wrong", Won't you listen to me.

This is a song that I've listening to since I've discovered that were on 'The Silence of the Lambs (1991)' OST.

This book it’s very special to me and it is totally referable to the Urasawa's works due to psychological link they both have. Also, this lyric seems to me like a intimate mono-dialogue between Tenma, who represents hopes and Liebert, the tragical twin, conducting the conversation.

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4. ‘Roman Candle’, by Elliott Smith

'He played himself, Didn't need me to give him hell, He could be cool and cruel to you and me, Knew we'd put up with anything.

I want to hurt him, I want to give him pain, I'm a roman candle, My head is full of flames, I'm hallucinating, Hallucinating.'

It represents rage in a sum, right? The first parts reminded me of Bonaparta and the twin's relationship, so much abuse they've got into and how Liebert as kinda of develop to support a lot of problematic aspects of the worst in the human bein.

The secound part tho..reminded of Tenma. He was writed to simbolize Light, but we all know that it wasn't something he always got right. His rage for all the crimes that Johan was commiting while transforming his life in a living hell...well, that wasn't something easy to perform throught it, we all know that.

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5. ‘Was Hat Dich Bloß So Ruiniert’, by Die Sterne

Wo fing es an und wann? Was hat Dich irritiert? Was hat Dich bloss so ruiniert?

TRANSLATION (🇩🇪):

Where did it start and when? What irritated you? What was it that ruined you?

Mostly about child abuse and the consequences of it. The Grimmer arc gave me deep sad chills about those children experiments and how he manage to survive throught it.

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The first part ends, I hope it was a good read. Remember, click here to listen to the playlist

#monster #anime #manga #kenzo tenma #johan liebert #anna liebert #nina fortner #eva heinemann #wolfgang grimmer #grimmer #naoki urasawa's monster #naoki urasawa #playlist #rock #instrumental

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randomgentlefolk · 1 year

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CPC CHAPTER 148

I forgor 💀

HAKAUQISNIASJ MARIA??? HER PECKING GWEN AND BEING SCRATCHED BECAUSE OF THE THORNS??? I sob.

Judging from this panel, and how one of the fast pass episode is titled "Lorena's Project", I suppose that means we're gonna see Lorena's project soon! :D man, I wonder what it actually looks like. Kinda wondering tho, where has she been building her secret project? Since it's 'secret' so she can't just build it outside where everyone can see. Or can she? (It' was suppose to be a secret right? Or am I remembering it wrong?)

Well wherever it's being built, I am HYPE to see Leland get his butt kicked! I mean look at that huge metal ball she and the other maids are holding! Damn, what the heck is this project? I mean it's most probably something to defend the palace but still. That could probably kill people lmao.

MISS AGATHA'S BOOKS??? Where did she even get those??? What books are those anyway?? 😭

Beckett has an.. okay distraction technique.. But I have a feeling Horace leaving the palace is gonna be either important or bad? Maybe Horace going to the bottom of the hill is going to cause him to see the Plaid troops so that he can notify the palace about what is happening! Or— or he turns out to be really good at fighting but because Beckett told him to go away, he (Horace) won't be able to help.

Maria really just wanna make me sob in this chapter. But ayyy! We can see her and Beckett talk again!

And the best thing is, though unrelated, is we get to see more club members! They all look so cool ☆_☆

Uhhh I think Pewter is the 2nd one from the left right?

I love Jolie's energy so much. And I, too, would marry a hotdog if i could.

JOLIE AND NELL SMALL CONTENT I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. Also Syrah simping on Saffron Lmao 😭

The dirt cake looks so good..

THEY ARE SO FRIEND GROUP. The whole thing happening just because of a bottle cork and then they are all laughing at the chaos that just happened? THEY ARE SO CHAOTIC FRIENDS.

What's this? *sniff sniff* I smell bonding time with Syffron 👀

THANK YOU LITTLE SPIDER!!

But man, this is really bad.. But at least they know now what is happening! So they're definitely gonna have a plan and I'm HERE for it. Wait, the next chapter is titled infiltration? OH ARE THE CPC GONNA INFILTRATE THE PASTEL PALACE?? HECK YEAH >:D

Not much things for this review but I hope you can forgive me for forgetting to make this :')

Mono out! (But still in to hear your thoughts)

#cursed princess club #cpc

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linesfromzaun · 1 year

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Ailments (Silco x Fem!Reader)

Rating: E MDNI

Tags: mommy and daddy kink, pussy eating, vaginal fingering, slight overstimulation, aftercare, nipple sucking and play, slight biting

A/N: god I’m horny and helpless so here’s this, now I can write detailed shit because I’m no longer a virgin so *birthday kazoo noise* hope y’all enjoy and don’t be afraid to say hi in my inbox!!! I miss y’all even tho I’m hella sick (covid AND mono) LOVE YOU GUYS ❤️❤️❤️

“Mommy’s feeling a little naughty today, hm?”

Silco’s fingers glide under your shirt, feeling no bra, bralette, just pure skin. His hands trace around your supple skin, and you mentally beg him to touch you more.

“I don’t think you understand the consequences of acting in such a manner.” You hum at his words, dazed in your lust.

“I’ve just… missed you so much. You’ve been working a lot—“ lips press against yours to silence you, a slight swipe of tongue has you on edge. Once lips pull away, they rest on yours.

“I’ve given you special permission to help such urges, are you displeased with the toys I provided?”

“No, it’s just—“

“Address me properly.” You blink, feeling yourself settle into the role. Your breath hitches as his hands lightly graze over your nipple, teasing as to what you desire.

“No, daddy,” you feel his chest vibrate against your back in a rewarding hum.

“Very good. Now, tell daddy what seems to ail you.” A quick pinch of your left nipple causes you to whine.

“It’s just… not the same without you. The toys aren’t you, they don’t touch me like you do.” Silco let’s put a curious noise and rolls his palm across your breast, causing your nipple to roll with it.

“Go on, my dear, I need to know every detail.” You begin to feel warmth between your legs and your legs squeeze together.

“You skin on mine is addicting, I feel like I need it constantly. Your hands rubbing and caressing me feel better than any orgasm those toys can give me. How you feel inside me is perfect, like we were made for each other.” Silco growls and palms both of your breasts, kissing your neck. Bites are left in all your sensitive spots that has you moaning.

“I think I have just the thing for those cravings, let daddy help with that.” Your clothes are off in a blur, and your legs are opened as you’re seated on the desk. “Good girl, already listening without being given a command.” Silco pushes you on your back, and hands hook under your thighs. As he kisses down your collar bones, he makes his way to your chest.

You can feel yourself sinking further and further into the throws of passion, becoming unaware of everything except Silco.

Lips and tongue meet your left nipple and you sigh in pleasure. Fast licks are given and your back arches as your clit throbs. Suckling lightly and pulling away, you give one last keening whine and he chuckles. “So sensitive, all just for me.”

“Yes daddy, only for you.” Silco takes his time in kissing down your body towards your hips, teasing you with the build up of anticipation. You card your fingers in his hair as his lips meet your thighs, kissing them and biting them.

A kiss to your clit has you smiling as your breath hitches. He opens you up with his fingers and licks a long stripe up your slit, meeting your clit with a short flick of his tongue. A few more short flicks builds to licking directly at your clit. Your legs jump at the sudden bolt of pleasure and you moan. Your hips undulate at backing away and pressing into his mouth at the same time. Sucking and rolling your clit with his tongue has you crying out, lightning spreads to your hips and legs.

He pulls away for a moment, panting as two fingers collect the wetness at your hole. Pressing into you, he groans at how tight you are. “So beautiful.” You moan at his sweet praise. His lips and tongue meet your clit once again, and his fingers pump at that spot inside.

Electric pleasure shoots through you and your nails dig into the papers under you. Blood rushes to your ears as your breath is caught in your chest, your mouth open in an “o.” Your legs entrap Silco’s head and hold him hostage as you ride out your orgasm. Your thighs quiver around his head and he groans in appreciation. Your intake of lost breath has you crying out as well. Once the pleasure gets to be too much you push at his head, and his lips leave your cunt.

He watches as you whine and twitch, a satisfied smile on his face. He pulls out a pocket handkerchief and wipes his face. Disposing of the soiled cloth, his hands soothe your trembling thighs. Your body finally collapses as the afterglow and exhaustion settles in. Silco helps you off the desk and pulls you into his chair with him. Grabbing his coat, he wraps it around you and places a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“Feel better,” he asks with an amused tone. You can only hum in dazed happiness and nod. He chuckles lightly and pulls you closer to him, keeping you safe and warm.

#silco #arcane silco #silco my beloved #silco x reader #silco fanfic #silco x female reader #silco x y/n #silco one shot #arcane #silco smut #silco self insert

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aroace-polyshow · 26 days

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SPEAKING OF THE MAYBE MAN. THAT OVERTURE IS ACTUALLY SO HW AND I NEED YOU TO WATCH THE VIDEO IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE I DID CRY WATCHING IT THE FIRST TIME. i feel so called out by the end. mono if you're gonna watch any of these till the end please watch this one.

Wish I was a stone so I couldn't feel You'd yell in my face, it'd be no big deal But I'd miss the way we make up and smile Don't wanna be stone, I changed my mind

^ RUI RUI RUIR URIRUIRURUIRR RUi rui. the. the guilt over the pushing those kids. middle school rui i dont want to feel so lonely so ill feel empty. but, even at the end of the day... he can't. he loves too much

I wish I had eyes in the back of my head Then I could see the places I've been But then I would know that you're talkin' s*** I don't wanna know what my friends think

^ giving this to nene mostly for completionism but also a bit of that social anxiety piece. it could also go to rui tho.

Wish I were my dog out on the lawn I'd be so glad when I hear you come home But if I were my dog, I wouldn't live long I'm sure gonna miss her when she's gone

^ EMU GRANDPA.................................

I wish I could act in a show on TV 'Cause then I could practice not bein' me I'll practice my cry, put it into my reel But you won't believe me when I cry for real

^ TENMA TSUKASA

I wish that my brain would triple in size I'd nail every joke, I'd win every fight But I'd get too deep with that kind of mind I don't wanna know the point of life

^ KAMISHIRO RUI

Wish I was a song, your favorite one You'd follow the dance to me at your prom I would be there when your baby is born For two or three minutes, then I'm gone

^ something about. the futility of shows. they're only real for a few moments before people move on. no matter how much a show can make someone smile it's only temporary.

But if I was God, it'd get kinda weird 'Cause you would only say what I wanna hear And then you would die, you'd love me to death I'd never know who the hell I am

^ something about stardom. i need this to go to everyone for pacing reasons.

I wish I was me, whoever that is I could just be and not give a s*** Hey, I'll be whatever makes you a fan 'Cause I don't know who the hell I am

^ then this being the tsukasa solo at the end.

aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGIOJSDKLGJlsd.

i love this and also. i did watch it to the end jesus christ /pos i liked it a lot omg

#asks #hollow ☆ wonderland

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polyamorouspunk · 7 months

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I just need to vent, I'm polyam but have been in a monogamous relationship with my wonderful gf for almost 2 years. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to be mono and she's had bad experiences trying polyamory so I was expecting that to be it and I was happy.

We got a grinder to promote out OF and she started talking to this guy who's a pup like her and they became friends and we met up thinking we might hook up with him in a fwb type situation. However, this caused her so much anxiety that I told her we should just be friends with him and she agreed.

I feel really sad now tho. I really like this guy, he's really sweet and he really fancies me and my gf and I like gushing about her to him. Idk how I'll deal with this. Sorry for the long

- 🐝

Oh man that sucks. I really hope this doesn’t put a rift in your and her’s relationship. And I’m also sorry you feel like you missed out (and that’s understandable!)

#punk gets mail #sending good vibes #strong relationship and resilience vibes

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jules-van-hering · 2 years

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tumblr-meta-rambles following, from a domestic/sexual violence survivor who loves kinky sex but is also decidedly poly:

soooo as a survivor of heavy sexual and emotional abuse in a romantic partnership many of the nsfw posts about relationship goals I stumble onto on this site make me a bit queasy tbh.

I know many people who are attracted to this type of "toxic" possessiveness that you see celebrated and yearned for here are very aware of the toxic elements and dangers and also label it as such so I guess y'all truly are able to play with this overly possessive dynamic in a healthy way. but sometimes I just can't help getting worried for all y'all cause reading all these takes over and over again still glorifies the shit out of those mock-abuse-dynamics (sorry for the wording, after all I know consent is key so it's not abuse, but I can't completely shake the feeling that it's oh-so-similar) and thus normalises actual abuse in relationships under the guise of passion, jealousy and control as signs of true love

I don't judge anyone for it tho, I'm just worried that nuance goes missing and that "the youngins" (sorry for the patronising tone) are mainly exposed to this type of relationship goals and not also to a more open type of relationship where the freedom and independence of the individual partners is valued more. but hey, I'm poly, so the main issue that terrifies me might be the strong ownership aspect in a mono relationship which these posts propagate which reminds me so much of my own abuse experience

so I guess I might have to start to make my own poly relationship goals posts from now on to give a counter-perspective I guess... or is there a big poly bubble on tumblr that does exactly that and I just haven't found them yet? idk

ramblings over.

#ramblings #tw sa #dv survivor #🐟

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narwhalandchill · 2 months

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chiori time 🫡🫡🫡🫡

pulls went about as well as it could have; won the 50-50, then lost at soft pity to c3 tighnari (like am i on a tighnari streak now? huh 😭 c6 when) BUT the legend herself showed up IMMEDIATELY at 20ish pity for the guarantee so. Phew.

c1 in the bag And because i had both dori n yunjin c6 already while gorou managed to evade me the entire time save for one copy the starglitter and leftover pulls (11 from 121, started at 63 pity) altogether means im at 25 pulls ready for arlecchino too 😤😌 So feeling quite good about my prospects altogether

Anyway. Yeah i pulled and got lucky for it but wow hoyos c1 tactics rly are getting scummy as hell i hate it. standing in full solidarity w wrio mains especially on this one like what the hell. creating an artificial restriction that specifically hurts chioris navia teams and then just removing it with a constellation fucking sucks. and like even tho i dont care for mono geo teams myself its also weird how chioris c1 pretty much doesnt exist in teams w a construct already. like Huh 🤨

(But like to make it clear chiori c0 is perfectly solid w navia do Not feel pressured at all to pull for it. c0 shes a sidegrade to zhongli which is perfectly fine; it rly is similar to c0 wrio when it comes to c0 chiori with navia - it works, its solid, but the kit is still. Missing a piece quite literally. c1 giving that 2nd doll just increases her own dmg massively)

chioris design is like . Genuinely one of the best ones in the entire fucking game for me (i LOVE when they take inspiration from lolita fashion like. yunjin, ayakas skin, all peak) and i also love navia for both design and character reasons so despite the c1 being just. such blatant bait i still wanted to try going for it so those two can to work together as well as possible . they look so good together in a team 😭

The complaints aside (which are very real) tho im v glad luck was on my side and im still rly happy to have her!!!! Now we save for father like our lives depend on it 🫡🫡🙏

#on the other news haitham got demoted to wolf fang . jade cutter chioris now #she has. 97.4 crit rate . at least its not overcapping but i rly need golden troupe with more cdmg 💀💀💀#narwhal was being very cruel to me by not dropping level up mats to lvl 9 chioris skill #very tragic times. please beloved just cooperate im on your side 😭#genshin #rambles #gaming tag

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xxbatshitxx · 1 year

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23-02-16

Trigger Warning ⚠️ Weight mention

I just weighed myself for the first time in a while. Apparently I'm 62.8kg. I didn't even know I had gained that much. Of course I noticed I was thicker but still... That's a lot to process. It's not the biggest shocker - I was joking about being this weight I just never imagined to be back here. No wonder. Handling it right now is not that hard for me as I'd reckoned though, the last few days were marked by successful 16-20h fasts everyday and restricting to around 1300-1400 calories. Some on here might few all of this as nothing special. But considering that my main disorder is bulimia and - without mentioning any specific numbers (TW!) - I can b&p multiple times a day all day a week. As experience has proven. Honestly I should be greatful that after behaving this way for so long and not counting calories for real I'm 'only' at this weight. I guess looking at the bright side is the only thing left to do. I can lose all that weight again and feel the euphoria of the scale going down.

Updated my Lifesum Account to my actual weight. The last time I had it must've been 3 years ago or so, since it had 70kg saved as my weight. Suppose it's nice I'm not there anymore. After all, I used to be this weight back when I didn't consciously know I had an ED and was doing a lot of exercise more or less naturally and as a hobby.

I kind of miss those days. In the way I could be so involved in sports, martial arts and working out. Compared to now I was so strong and fit. I remember the decision to stop it all at once and not care at all anymore. It was so sudden - probably based on a shortlived motivation loss. Now look at me. Went from 62 to 83 then lingering in-between that and 70, at some point dropping to 60, LW 53. Then.. then what? I don't remember. I guess it's just a set back. And winners don't quit now, do they.

Despite all this I managed to learn something valuable about food, and the way I eat and why. It was an accident mostly. It was something always known to me. It made me eat what feels like a million salads a day this week. Low calorie salads paired with some more caloric food to fill up my need. I'm currently learning how to proportion it. Even tho J haven't had more that 1.4k cal lately I still ended up puking some of it. I usually don't puke bc if calories, but bc of a bloated sensation. In need of finding balance here, I'll stay patient. I have to. I never had an experience of fulfilled eating, having a meal just right. It was always too much or waaay too little or only feeding off rucola or mono-diet on 3kg of peanuts a day.

Let's see.

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mihotose · 2 years

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kotobuki muramasa hen notes

mikazuki beginning the show with hana no utena... gave me the impression that all the performances in the last five years were repeating timelines over and over again like tsuwamono

my stream dropped out the first time so i didnt know but in tatakau mono requiem otegine is like ishikirimaru and tsurumaru and ookurikara are like iwatooshi and imanotsurugi. that makes sense to me

now that horikawa is in srs22 will izuminokami and mutsunokami continue their karuta match!!!

mutsunokami didnt say daisuki to yasusada this time tho :(

muramasa ruriiro got me.... i was really surprised he didnt come out with tonbo and ookurikara during ruriiro and then when he finally Did i just cried lol

hachisuka mikazuki teawase!!!! i didnt know yesterday with yasusada and mutsunokami was higawari!!! its just like invasion!!!

since mikazuki was onstage for teawase he was there for the geese before yume no ato and he looked So Sad

the lines in joshou?? about the moon and the stars and the wind and the waves??? was it always like that?? like i realised those lines happened to correspond to atsukashiyama, bakuten, mihotose, paraiso and then they made a point of Emphasising that so was it always like that actually??

MURAMASA IVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH

COMPLETE TACHIKAZE

kotegiri asking muramasa to lessons and he ran away..... muramasa will literally refuse to speak to Any wakizashi

HES SPEAKING TO YOU AKASHI.

kuwana just throwing soil into the air like confetti

he was DREAMING of his nakama…. i wonder how many times this exact situation has happened before.... and Finally they came!

nagasone and hachisuka are SO similar hachisuka just wont admit it!!!

cried again bc kotetsu kyoudai are soo gooddd

the end of this scene reminded me of te no hira.

this FUCKING CAT SONG

theyre literally just cats chasing after other and also punching each other in the face occasionally

cried again at this. btw

the little nod kiyomitsu does when yasusada says he'll be a sec

THEY CHANGE THE LYRICS OF KAZAGURUMA FOR PARAISO

i have NO idea when the penlights are allowed tto be on bc they dont show the screens lol

i like that the formation whose song it was originally gets priority/centre stage when other swords sing it with them (sanjou with mistake here)

tonbo flicking up kiyomitsu's coattails as if he wouldnt yell at muramasa if he did the same lool

MURAMASA WASNT IN MISTAKE?

i feel like a lot of the zenin songs muramasa or hizamaru werent in

i enjoy how much the starters got to do stuff together <3

like them bowing to wish happy new year together

but lmaoo did the blood run to kensuke's head he kinda staggered off when he stood up

yasusada’s black and white shoes really suit him

hyuuga in can you guess what is so dangerous i feel i ought to shield him from the horniness like monoyoshi-kun was on thin ice i cant have hyuuga exposed to thi too

muramasa in can you guess what Exactly where hes meant to be <3

am i sure it was mikazuki tsurumaru and kuwana yesterday? bc this was mikazuki kogitsunemaru and kuwana

oh is it about the veteran swords mikazuki kogitsunemaru or tsurumaru introducing the new sword kuwana (who hadnt been in a main show yet unlike matsui)

HACHISUKA WINK AND TONGUE? HELLO

my brother walked in my room during S and acted like it was filthy like theyre wearing three piece SUITS theyve worn less!!!!!!

OH MATSUI WAS REPLACING MURAMASA. that thought makes me normal. that theyre considered similar enough that matsui could be a standin

muramasa inciting akashi to be a WHORE with him god DAMN thats so unfair

IMPULSE YEAHHHH!!!!! if i watch something looking forward to muramasa im Expecting some good shit with tonbo and impulse absolutely ticks that box

ookurikara buzen utsukushii higeki?? absolutely unexpected i had no idea this was higawari i thought yesterdays kashuu and tsurumaru was another srs17 kashuu mikazuki situation

(the penlights were all red lol)

the fact that matsui had the flag in danzen was such a surprise bc flags i feel like are for iwatooshi or nagasone types

VERSUS?

AND CHIGIRI?

AND BLUE LIGHT?

had no idea all those solos or duets (jounetsu no symphonia, drive) yesterday were all just higawari

oh kashuu chair dance. thank you

kiyomitsu chasing yasusada. good :-)

oh the lining of izuminokami’s suit has that mark like on his kimono

god hachisuka is so elegant

no muramasa in kemono?

i think this tape of higekiri was different? he forgot hizamaru’s name but i think he remembered yesterday? tho they probably switched tapes when it was muramasa’s turn

cried at aoe again :)

mario and ryo went OFF in ado utsu

the starters’ line in touken ranbu kotobuki ver being “by our side” because theyre the STARTERS theyve been with you from the very beginning waa

the earth said buzen was fast today lmaoo

you can see mokkun turning away to hide laughter at that

seeing everyone together the honmaru has gotten big hasnt it.... and thats not even everyone

mikazuki gets a Special door to exit from. bc hes special.

#gemitus #tkrb #toumyu

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tratserenoyreve · 3 years

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Asking for your interpretation of the one of the latest LN twitter post of somewhat symbiotic relationship of Six and Mono, that they would not survive without the other... And just wanna say hello! Hope you have a great day (灬º‿º灬)♡

heyo!

i believe ur referring to this tweet:

which i think is actually really straightforward!

there are so many situations mono and six are faced with in ln2 that cannot be survived solo. mono would not have been able to lift the Hunter’s gun on his own, six would have not been able to get down from where the bullies strung her up on her own, they work in tandem with one another to get across gaps that would have been impassable if either was alone (a big one that comes to mind is the rope pulley jump in the city, where six trusts mono to pull her across to the other side between two skyscrapers so she can then help mono who trusts her to reach far enough and hold strong enough to catch him as he jumps across).

it’s interesting tho cuz the game also makes it clear they are still able to operate independently of one another, mono is stuck doing segments of the game by himself and six regularly does things of her own accord while mono is gone. it is always a mutual choice between them to rely on one another! six is the first to request help from mono and there are points later in the game where they’ll try to direct mono to puzzle solutions and even actively offer to hold his hand (very easy to miss! she’ll hold her arm out for him late in the game and its very 🥺)

a lot of people tend to interpret mono as purely rescuing six, but i find that inaccurate. i do not believe mono would have survived his trip to the Tower alone, and that he only makes it in ln2 because six kept saving him. heck, i have a theory he repeatedly hasn’t survived his attempts, that he may well be repeatedly trying to accomplish something AND getting caught (less him saving any individual person and more so trying to save a situation that is only getting worse and stubbornly refusing to let it be).

six and mono are mutual in their back and forth of helping one another in Pale City and it is very clear as the game goes on how much both of them rely on that.

#tratser replies to stuff #little nightmares #little nightmares 2 spoilers

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fortima · 4 years

Text

what if i replayed oras despite [redacted] because i miss team magma....haha jk....unless?

#i miss courtney and maxie so much also tabitha even tho 15 y/o august was a fucking cringefest #i miss him tho.....king #i miss them all i might do something fun like a mono type run to make it difficult...#quesito

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maximusod · 3 years

Photo

So Little Nightmares 2 in first person...that’s a...that’s a thing...and man, does it change the experience a bit...I feel like this would translate fairly well to VR to a degree. It definitely adds another layer to the game and made me go thru the whole thing again (and I’ll probably do it again at some point), cause it’s interesting to see stuff from Mono’s point of view.

However, it is not perfect, and the camera gets a lil wonky at times, cause Mono isn’t always pointed in the same direction as the camera (if you’re unsure of which way Mono is facing, you can point the camera down and see his lil feetsies). Basically tho, it makes the mannequin part nearly impossible to do. I was able to do about half of the mannequin stuff, but it’s very difficult to point the flashlight where you want, so it’s rough. I had to change back to third person for the part with 3 mannequins, and the room full of a ton of mannequins. Too many to try to bounce around with. I did feel it made the combat parts easier tho. But anyways, that’s not the real reason why I played it in first person... It was really neat to see the environments from down low, and see a lot of lil details you normally miss from the camera being much farther away. Plus all the monsters are extra terrifying when they’re all towering over you. Another fun thing is it kinda gives a bit of a behind the scenes on how they cheat the visuals and whatnot, kinda fun to look at. I’ll have a second post with more screen shots attached to this one in a reblog with some more comments.

#little nightmares 2 #mono #six #thin man #bullies #black tower #pale city

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ruthlesslistener · 3 years

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Hi! I saw the post you wrote for LN2 and I've a few questions (I'm not the same anon). This is gonna have spoilers, so yeah. Before the questions, though, the secret ending actually confirms that this is a prequel to the first game, as otherwise Six would've had her coat and would've shown her hunger earlier. And there's also a comic which shows hers and Mono's first meeting which is actually before the game. I'm not too sure how she ended up in the room at the beginning of the game or if (1/4)

it had been hers, but the fact that she decides to run away is pretty telling of the way she felt about the place. Since I’m really bad with phrasing this, I’m sorry if I come off as demanding, I’m just genuinely curious as what your thoughts are since I really look up to you and your opinions. I’ve read somewhere (YT, I think) that she absorbed Mono’s ability, or copied it in some way, since she was able to go out through the TV at the end and before that she wasn’t. Do you think that this is the case? Also, since the main ending shows Mono slowly becoming the Thin Man over time (and it’s a clear rep of the cycle of abuse, as you said) do you think the he was trying to save his child self from Six or was trying to stop himself from letting her hurt him again? And, supposedly, the music box is actually smt that the Signal Tower was using to control her. I might be diving in too much into the lore of the game rather than the actual meaning here, I realise, tho that’s smt I’ve learnt to do bc of Hollow Knight xD I also realise that I could be wrong about some stuff or missing some info, but yeah. Dunno, I’m just genuinely intrigued by the lore and stuff and I’ll prob be for a few weeks till I find smt else to hyperfixate on. I’ll be binging explanation videos instead of doing uni work, sigh. Hope I didn’t bother you with all this stuff, feel free to completely ignore all of these if so!! Thank you!!

Hey np anon!! I held off on answering this bc of a combo of hw and wanting to sit and ponder over it a bit, but it's interesting stuff and I wanna try to expand on it!!

First off, my belief for the whole 'time loop' theory is that there is a loop going on, but that it's a metaphorical one. It's not the same Mono and Six over and over again, it's a representation of the whole cycle of abuse thing that I was talking about where the trauma that a child experiences turns them into an abuser later- the son becomes the father that traumatizes the son once more, the daughter becomes the mother who abuses her own daughter, etc. I don't think that the Lady we see in the first game is Six, exactly, nor do I think that the Thin Man of the second game is Mono. I think that Mono becomes the 'replacement' Thin Man in the cycle after Six 'betrays' him (re: retaliates) because his trauma with his father and with what he perceived as a betrayal shaped who he was to be, and that he would then continue on in his father's shoes. Similarly, with Six, she takes the Lady's place not out of a desire to be the Lady, but as a necessity to satiate her endless hunger. They're forced into the same roles and are modeled to reflect that, yeah, but they're not the same Mono and Six every time, it's just the same story with similar characters and fixed outcomes, resulting in a pseudo-timeloop scenario.

As for the prequel thing, I'm p. sure they made that feel bungled on purpose? To lend to the overall dreamy haze feel of the game. I just looked through the comics (which are AMAZING by the way), and there's not really anything in particular that points out if Six meeting Mono comes before or after she escapes the Maw, or if she lost her raincoat along the way and salvaged her new one off of a corpse that had that model, etc. The reason why I assumed that the game was a sequel was bc I think I heard from somewhere that the reason why Mono had to help Six was because her powers were fading, which scared her. Either way tho, I don't think that the exact timeline matters much because I feel like they intentionally wanted it to be as hazy and dreamlike and confusing as possible (as well as a huge metaphor). The way that it would run goes slightly differently bc of the time jumble, yeah, but the plot remains mostly the same, with the abuse cycle continuing regardless. So I'm going to explain how I interpreted that from the '2 is a sequel' perspective, bc the '2 is a prequel' perspective appears to be the one you understand personally :)

The reason why I think that Six returned to the Maw is based entirely on a trauma response (one that I admittedly struggle with). It's one where an abuse victim that has just escaped their situation longs to go back to it- even if they purposefully ran away from it- because at least in that scenario, they knew how the world worked, they knew the rhythm of things and had a sense of control. There are tells and cues that get ingrained into you after years of living with it, subtle details that allow you to expertly navigate a path where you can mitigate the chance you will be yelled at, or hurt. The outside world, however, is a wild card; you have no idea how it works, you don't know the cues, you don't know how to survive like you did before. The previous situation was awful, yes- but it made sense, whereas the outside world is only chaos. And with Six specifically, I feel like after the chaos of the Pale City, she would have wanted to return to The Maw for the specific reason that it was the only place in the world where things made sense.

Not to mention, I interpret her hunger to be a physical manifestation of her abuse 'turning her into a monster', since it grows stronger and makes her more powerful the more brutal that it becomes. A lot of the reason why the cycle of abuse is so hard to break irl, after all, is because lashing out gives power to those who have no control. If you don't learn how to fight back, and to make it hurt, you get stepped on. If you don't get strong enough to hurt people before they hurt you, you will be crushed. So I interpreted Six's hunger as being something that was metaphorically passed down from the Lady via her own unique abuse cycle (or because of the Thin Man and Mono traumatizing her and breaking her sense of trust, if we're going the prequel route), one that gets stronger the more 'monsterous' she gets, because it's linked to how much power she currently possesses. In the Pale City, she has no Hunger because she has no power; she's a weak scrap of a thing who doesn't belong, she doesn't know how to properly strike back. In essence, her dependance- and trust- in Mono fades it to nothing, because she has no reason to feed or strengthen herself. The reason why it comes back (or is sparked at all) after she drops him off the cliff is supposed to represent that dark, bitter part of her going 'this is proof we can't trust anyone, this is why we need to hurt people to survive', and then has her going back to the Maw because it's a place where she understands the layout and hierarchy of and can easily ascend to a position of ultimate power.

I'm not sure if this is coming across correctly, but basically Six's Hunger = her learning how to hurt people and then using it to make her harder to harm, thus increasing her ranking in the world and becoming more and more like her mother, The Lady. We see that the more harmful someone gets, the more monstrous they become, so my personal interpretation of Shadow Six was that that was her dark, angry side (the part of you that's angry and hateful and just wants nothing more than to hurt people, bc if they want to make you a monster then so be it) guiding her decisions and making her more and more bitter, brutal, and monstrous, thus making her Hunger-and the need for her Hunger- worse. In particular, the reason why I think that Shadow Six showed up after the Thin Man grabbed her and Mono attacked her was bc that was an intensely traumatic experience, both bc she was kidnapped and also bc she was betrayed twice- once when Mono didn't protect her from being taken, and then the whole music-box smashing debacle. In a metaphorical sense, her ability to go through TV's like Mono could have been acquired from her hurting him after she made the connection between the Thin Man and him, bc we already have established that the magical powers these kids have are sort of passed-down trauma from their predecessors. In a literal sense, it could also be possible that her Hunger just sucks a part of the powers from whoever she harms, bc a popular theory for the first game is that she figured out the Lady's weakness after eating the nome. Which, again, is tied to a traumatic event, but enough about metaphors.

...Or not, bc I just scrolled up to re-read you asking about the music box XD That too is a visual metaphor for a trauma response, imo! I don't think that the music box was manifested to control Six as much as it was her trying to cope with her current circumstances. We know she really, really loves music/is sensitive to sound, so in a terrifying moment like being kidnapped by the Big Bad you were trying to escape from, it makes sense that she might have entered a dissociative state where she focused entirely on the music box and nothing else. To Mono, this dissociative state represented her monstrous form (perhaps something that was impressed upon him by his father, to warn him that attachments only lead to harm) that he had to snap her out of...which meant that he had to break the very thing that put her in that state, ie focusing only on the music box while also ignoring any other stimuli. Really, I saw the whole monster Six thing to be Six in a very animalistic, terrified state of mind, clinging onto the one thing that made her happy, and then her screaming and thrashing and having a meltdown when Mono (who was likely terrified by her current state) tried to 'save' her by snapping her out of it. The fact that she visually returns to being her after the whole ordeal was over really only supports this imo, bc she's literally been shocked out of that numb, animal state of being. I think the best way to represent that scenario through meme format is through that one Spongebob screenshot when he and Patrick are like 'we did it! We saved the city!' bc that's basically what that bossfight was, lmao

As for the Thin Man's motives...I think that we likely don't have a definitive answer for that. The way that I originally interpreted the whole Mono vs Thin Man thing was that the Thin Man aimed to groom Mono to be his successor, and that his goal was to recapture Mono, isolate him, and then 'turn him into him', a goal that Mono could not escape. That would have made Six a 'bad influence' that needed to be removed, which I see as the main motivator for him capturing her- I feel like he wanted Mono to see her as a monster so that he would willingly abandon her. It would make a sweet antiparallel to the Lady for sure, who seemed to see Six as competition that needed to be eliminated- whereas the Lady's abuse towards her daughter was a very physical, hateful thing that taught Six the only way forward was to kill her and be stronger than her, the Thin Man's desire to groom a successor was purely psychological abuse, where he set Mono up to fail, essentially teaching him that tough lesson of 'nobody is on your side, you will always be alone.' I don't think that he saw Six as anything more than an obstacle to be brushed aside so that the Signal Tower's next transmitter wouldn't malfunction, which in turn helped lock both those poor kids on the path of turning into their parents.

Hope that came across easily enough! I typed this all out on my phone at 1 am so I have no idea :D

#little nightmares #little nightmare thin man #Little nightmares 2 #Mono #Six #little nightmares six #Little nightmares mono #Ln2 #ln the lady #little nightmares meta #Anon #Reply #Long post

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morkofday · 3 years

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fic tag game

thank you so much for tagging me @i-am-just-a-kiddo ♥ i love rambling about my fics and my writing even if it always also brings up all the doubts and insecurities i have but. these are my children so i will show them some love :’) and it is always just wonderful to share this all with you my dear ♥

placing under cut bc i do ramble, as yall know to expect by now!

Name: VishCount i’ve already explained the origin of that name a couple of times so am sparing you from that but gotta just say that i never expected to get so fond of this username and the nicknames that followed ♥

Fandoms: wow ok so buckle up, this is gonna be a ride first i gotta mention the finnish fandom for this youtuber group called LaeppaVika. i adored them as a teenager and i still watch the videos sometimes :’) couple of the members still stream stuff even if the group has pretty much fallen apart by now and am just very fond every time. they feel like home in a way. those fics were my first ones and am still kinda proud of some of those?

then there’s this one random finnish utapri fic i once wrote... tbh i’m not sure why my anime fandoms never made me write anything? maybe it was the inexperience and the fear of using a second language lol

after i got over that and got into BTS, i’ve written a ton for them. most of those are oneshots that vary from 1k words to 10k or something. a couple of longer ones have sprouted too and one is still in the making and i have sooooo many ideas. mostly just random aus. i adore to write those.

lately MDZS has been my favored fandom and it has gotten some oneshots too as well as my gigantic xicheng fic that hangs somewhere well above 100k now. i wish to finish the last part for that soon but who knows, maybe it will take longer than expected sigh. and now DMBJ has pushed in as something that yells at me to write tho i’ve only posted a short oneshot for it for now. and oh, last year i also posted a couple of silly oneshots for 2moons! that was... weird tbh but am glad i did that.

i wish i had more fandoms tbh bc there is so much interesting stuff there and i have so many ideas and inspirations but i’m very slow at writing. things don’t always just come out and some fandoms don’t grasp me for long enough that i would be able to tap into any projects. but i have no hurry, right?

Tropes: hmm do i have any? am not sure. i thought that maybe soulmate aus or some abo stuff was my thing but i’ve slowly drifted away from those. then it comes to just... idk. hurt/comfort? found families? i also adore slow burn these days and i feel like i’ve gotten a bit better at writing that but it’s still a struggle. also just, as already noted, all these different aus? mostly fantasy based ones. those are always so cool and somehow very whimsical? and lately i’ve also just fallen into this hole where i love to write some bittersweet tragedies or at least stuff that feels like a tragedy in some sense (and i blame my dear kiddo for that bc they’ve written the sweetest of tragedies and i want that too ok)

Fic I spent most time on: how do you count this? do wips count? bc if they do, then I feel like my xicheng fic called you’re the sunset and i’m the last purple left behind is it. it just keeps on going and i feel like i’ve given it all of my waking hours and heart and soul. then it could also be my BTS abo fic My Lungs for You to Breathe that is slowly reaching its second year? am not sure. but it has been going for ages bc sometimes it comes and sometimes it goes and currently i’ve spent over six months without updating it and. yeah. (it would be nice to mention some fic here that i’ve made some research for but tbh i never do any research. am horrible like that but i’ve never just. had the energy? tho i have hopes that i could go on this wild research spree for this one guardian idea i have but let’s see...)

Favorite fic(s) you’ve written: (making a list bc am unable to choose, fight me)

and you remain - my pingxie oneshot that just helped me to get all of the feelings i had after tlt2 pour out. am very fond of it destiny tied us together - some introspection of lwj and jc’s relationship and how it changes throughout the years as they both mature, learn things about themselves, fall in love and realize that they share the same ppl in their hearts (and maybe develop a tentative friendship bc they’re so similar in so many ways). i had so much fun with this and it just felt like my brightest moment haha painting your skin with all of me - the xicheng soulmate oneshot i wrote at some point and still adore. it just seemed to work and in the middle of my xicheng struggles writing them so briefly and gently just felt right pouring love (growing flowers) - the ot7 oneshot i wrote bc of this one amazing twt prompt/moodboard. it was the last part of my mono series. i love it so much. joon was so nice to write throughout the whole thing ;; lilies bloomed under your carpet - my god au for taejoon. it poured out of me so wonderfully and it was so amazing. still one of my favorite creations, this whole au. Stories Untold / chapter 3 - this was a collection of taejoon oneshots that i was trying to make but am not sure if i will ever finish them all. but this one, where tae is a forest god and joon a human able to see supernatural things, is very dear to me bc it just feels complete

Fic I spent least time on: gosh i think it must be either my first wangxian oneshot we had it almost or my touch-starved joon oneshot show me my skin and touch my heart with very soft and lovely taejoon. both created themselves in a couple of hours?

Longest fic: currently my xicheng monster but i somehow expect my bts abo fic to get even longer if i ever manage to finish it

Shortest fic: it’s apparently my namseok fic for joon’s tokyo called missing you (i’m homesick). it created itself out of my own experiences of living in a long distance relationship and is one of my faves in that series.

Most hits/kudos/comments/bookmarks: most hits and comments go for my bts abo fic which doesn’t really surprise me when it’s a multichapter fic :’D most kudos go for the already mentioned xicheng oneshot and most bookmarks go for the bts ot7 fic!

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: hmm if i could rewrite something, it would probably be my first bts fic and my second long fic called Even the Universe Makes Mistakes. that soulmate au now feels a bit outdated and there are many parts i would like to change and things i would love to think again. then if i was allowed to expand some world, i would love to write more for the xicheng soulmate au bc there are many other pairings i would love to explore there too or just to see lxc’s take on the events perhaps. other thing would be my namgi oneshot it passes (for us both) bc i adore namgi and the love they create in that brief moment.

Share a bit of a WIP: it hasn’t been long since i shared snippets of several wips but let’s go with my pingxie which i’ve been working on and am just so damn excited about (especially now that i can use the bazaar photoshoot imagery as inspiration):

“He moves, pulled in by the darkness of the lake, mirroring the softly blue sky with its gray, heavy clouds. The snow lands on his nose, into his lashes, clings to his coat and his shoes. He doesn’t feel cold, doesn’t hear anything beyond the softness of the snowfall. Nothing exists and everything does, real and fake at the same time, comforting but still making him feel afraid.

He could lose himself here, could be lost from everything. He could stay and be forgotten, could join those people that tried to make him remain, could take the easier way. He could rest, just like he was supposed to do so many times before.

Maybe he does belong, after all. Maybe he is part of this place, so awfully familiar with it, so willing to even stop his own heart to get here. And maybe he is not, this place only hungry for those who don’t yet remain, refuse to give into this dream-like space.”

thank you once more for tagging me my dear! this was fun even if looking back to my old fics and all the lack of updating and posting these days makes me feel kinda bad... i’ve just been in a slump lately and am slowly trying to get out of it even if i almost fall back in all the time. it’s funny when last spring i felt like i was at my peak sigh. but well, as i’ve already said, i have time right?

i dunno so many writers over here but i’m tagging @cross-d-a and @kholran bc i’m curious about your work. also tagging @inkblue-black and @jockvillagersonly if you want to blabber about something or if you just want to see this. and oh also tagging @wangxianbunnydoodles bc am always open for new ppl and i know that you write ^^

#tag game #sorry am making these posts today again #also sorry for always tagging the same ppl #i hope you don't mind #have fun!!#about me

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